#and trying to put them together in a way that makes somewhat sense

[tiny-chubby-bird]

me, coming up with reasonable sounding theories about ballas, in a desperate attempt to fix DE's plotholes and ‘unexplained-and-frankly-rather-confusing-stuff-happening’ problem

[wizardnuke]

miss the early days of my tma listen when i was conspiracy theorizing and genuinely freaking out about michael distortion appearances. michael went craazy he is SO scary to me

[8loveletters]

"is this everything you dreamed of?"

pairing: kim mingyu × fem reader

genre: smut, mutual pining (or: mutual lowkey unhealthy obsession lol), little fluff at the end

word count: ~4.7k

content warnings: mingyu is a few (like 3) years older than reader, reader is smaller than mingyu and has somewhat longer hair, voyuerism, mutual (kinda) masturbation, dom!mingyu, oral (both receiving), tit sucking/nipple biting, spanking (literally once), unprotected sex, doggystyle, big dick gyu.., filming a sextape (not to be seen by anyone else), creampie, multiple orgasms, sir kink, praise kink, manhandling, lots of pet names given by mingyu (baby/pretty girl, princess, sweetheart, etc. (but also slut/whore..)), mingyu is a lil rough but also a softie,, lmk if i should add anything else!

summary: you've been hopelessly in love with your best friend's older brother for the past decade. you've fantasized countless times about a future in which you could be together. but you've accepted the fact that it will probably remain just that -- a fantasy. that is until your best friend and roommate's weekend trip out of town leads to a rare opportunity. will tonight finally be the night that all your dreams come true?

this weekend would be the first time you were going to be completely alone in a really long time. you and your roommate have been best friends since middle school. so, it only made sense that you would move in together and become roommates when you went to the same college together.

now, it's been a couple years since you graduated but you're still living together. you both enjoyed it though. being with each other practically 24/7 never put a strain on your relationship the way you had heard from others that it might. but you knew the time would come soon that you would have to part ways as you both established yourselves in your careers and became more independent. also, you knew it was only a matter of time that one or both of you would find a romantic partner you were serious enough about to move in with. and this weekend seemed like the first step towards that for your roommate.

she and her boyfriend were taking a weekend trip together for the first time. before that, however, she was going to take him to meet her parents and older brother. it was a way of seeking their approval before taking this next step in their relationship. but frankly it seemed like just a formality, as she was so head over heels for him it probably wouldn't matter whether they approved or not.

you were bored in bed scrolling through your feed while some dumb reality show played on your tv as background noise. you saw the picture your best friend posted earlier that night of her, her boyfriend, and her family taken at the restaurant they had met at to eat dinner. you smiled when you saw how happy she looked. her boyfriend was good to and for her and you knew how excited she was to introduce him to them. you were relieved it seemed to have gone well by the looks on everyone's faces.

however, your eyes eventually locked onto the one face you were trying your best to avoid: her older brother mingyu's.

mingyu was a few years older than you and your best friend. you met him the first time you ever spent the night at her house at the beginning of the first year of middle school. you really hadn't developed any interest in boys yet, and your new friend's awkward older brother was no exception to this, so you really paid him no attention. that, of course, changed over time the more you grew up and became more interested in boys and the more he grew up and became more handsome.

your crush on him really started to grow your freshman year of high school. he was a senior at your same school and seeing him everyday in the hallways in addition to the multiple days a week when you hung out at your best friend's house instead of your own just intensified your feelings more.

you never let onto it though, not wanting to make your best friend uncomfortable. so many girls in your grade already gushed about him around her and you could tell how awkward it was for her. it did make you a bit jealous though, other girls talking about how attractive he was. even though he'd never date them, focusing more on playing sports and hanging out with his friends than fooling around with any girls despite his playboy looks, you couldn't help but feel jealous when they stated the obvious -- that he was hot as hell.

after that year, though, he went off to college and you saw much less of him during those years. you would think that would make your lame high school crush fizzle out, but well, absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. you cherished anything you could get. the times you would be at the same family functions as your families had also become so close over the years it was like one big extended family. or the time he helped you -- sweaty and shirtless -- move furniture into the new apartment you and your roommate had rented in the dead of summer. or the times he'd be on a roll posting the most boyfriend-coded pictures on his social media for days on end before disappearing from them again for weeks.

and now, after all these years, you still can't bring yourself to commit to a relationship because you just can't stop thinking about him. and you had met some really good people over the years who would be really good partners. but you just weren't ready yet. you just weren't ready to give up on the delusion that you and mingyu could still somehow end up together.

you couldn't stop yourself from clicking the tag on the picture and scrolling through mingyu's profile for the millionth time. you also couldn't stop your mind from wandering straight into the gutter while your free hand wandered underneath the waistband of your sweatpants.

you know it's wrong. you've known it was wrong for about 10 years now. but you just can't help it. you want mingyu, your best friend's brother, desperately. in the worst way possible. you turn off the tv and toss your phone on the bed, letting yourself yet again be immersed in the fantasy of having mingyu deep inside you. you tell yourself if this dream could become a reality just one time, you'd be satisfied and able to move on. but for now, you try in vain to pleasure yourself with just your fingers even half as much as you're convinced his cock would be able to.

so lost in your delusions, you don't even hear the front door of your apartment open and shut.

at dinner, mingyu's sister had asked him to stop by the apartment on his way home. she had forgotten to water her plant and she figured you'd probably be out with your other friends since it was the weekend. maybe you might have heard him struggle twice before finally entering the passcode correctly, but your bedroom was farthest from the front door and you had left your bedroom door open only a crack out of habit. plus, not much could be heard over your pathetic moans and whimpers thinking about the man who was now in your apartment.

mingyu was never the most observant person, so he didn't notice anything as he went to water the plant. even when he did think he heard something, he just chalked it up to maybe the walls being thin and it being a neighbor with their tv up too loud. so, he set the watering can down and started to leave the apartment. that is until he heard something akin to a siren's call: your voice. after all these years, it was unmistakable to him.

his mind tried to convince him he didn't hear what he thought he did. while his body, more specifically his cock growing harder by the second, led him toward your bedroom door. toward a sound he had only dreamt of: you moaning in pure ecstasy. as he reaches your door, his brain tries one last futile attempt to persuade him that you must have left your tv on and that's what he's hearing. as a good guy looking out for your electricity bill, he'll just pop in real quick and turn it off...

mingyu slowly pushes the door open and sees exactly what he was both hoping and dreading at the same time.

you are sprawled out on your bed in just a tiny tank top and panties, your sweatpants discarded at some point to the middle of your floor. mingyu cannot believe how beautiful you look biting your bottom lip with furrowed brows, hair all disheveled. his hand has a mind of its own as it quietly unbuckles his belt and releases his throbbing hard length from his slacks.

mingyu knows it's wrong. he's known it was wrong for about 10 years now. you were his little sister's best friend. he should not ever have been attracted to you, nor should he still be. but he was and he is.

countless nights over the years he dreamed about you two being together. but he could never cross that line and initiate anything. especially since he could never quite gauge how you really felt about him. he thought there was something to the looks you'd give him, and the way you'd blush when you realized he'd noticed. but then you'd usually act so indifferent or at the most cordial when you were around him. so he was always wondering if those lustful glances were all in his head. but it was just enough to always keep him wondering about what it would be like to be with you. so much, that it was hard for him to be in any kind of serious relationship. no one could compare to you, even if it was just an idealized version of you.

"mingyu!"

his blood runs cold and he stops in place, hand mid-pump down his thick cock. he stays frozen in place like a thief who has just been caught red-handed. when his eyes look up from your hand in your panties that he was focusing so intently on to your eyes, he realizes they are still shut. you haven't seen him. then, why would you have screamed his name..?

"mingyu, please. i want-- need you so bad." you are desperately chasing a high that won't come because your fingers just aren't enough. mingyu realizes immediately what's going on.

you're fantasizing about him while you touch yourself so desperately. this finally confirms that all these years he really wasn't crazy. you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you.

his body takes over once again giving his mind no time to even try to be rational. within seconds mingyu is hovering over you on your bed.

your eyes shoot open and you scream, heart nearly stopping. when you come to your senses and realize that the man over top of you is, literally, the man of your dreams and not some random intruder you relax slightly. but that doesn't last long before your entire body is burning with embarrassment as you try your hardest to push him away from you and cover yourself.

"mingyu!" no matter how you say his name it drives him crazy all the same. "w-what the hell are you doing here?!"

"my sister asked me to stop by and water her plant and-- well none of that matters now. what i want to know is what you were just doing?"

mingyu is still towering over you, your attempts to move his large frame amusing at best. the look on his face is something you've never seen before, like that of a ravenous wolf staring down its meal.

"i, uhh, i was just--" you shift under his gaze and turn your head slightly. if you can't get away from him you at least want to hide how hard he's making you blush right now.

"cat got your tongue, baby girl?" his smirk is so evil, his voice so cocky. "how about i give you the rundown? you were playing with that pretty little pussy of yours imagining it was me deep inside you and not your fingers. sound about right?"

you can't bring yourself to look at him directly, but your body is fighting hard to let him know he's exactly right. with much resistance, you're able to give him a slight nod. but it's not good enough.

mingyu grabs you somehow both roughly and gently by the chin and forces you to look him in his beautiful brown eyes that are saturated with lust. "use your words, darling. is that what you were doing?"

"y-yes.." it's soft but seems to satisfy him and he lets go of your jaw.

"well this is no good. all these years i never dared try anything because it didn't seem you felt the same way. but here you were so desperate for me all along." mingyu repositions himself so he can spread your legs apart, eyes locking onto the soaked fabric of your panties. your face is still burning but your body gives up on trying to resist him anymore and you keep your legs spread wide while he stares for what feels like ages. "oh y/n... if you really wanted me this badly, all you had to do was ask."

"i--" your voice catches in your throat, but you gather all your strength and try again, way too needy to care about how pathetic you're about to sound. "i don't just want you mingyu.. i need you.. been dreaming about you in my guts for years now.."

mingyu chuckles and cups your cheek with his large hand, looking down at you like you're the most adorable thing he's ever seen. "well then, tonight i'll make all those dreams a reality for you."

within the time it takes you to blink, mingyu crashes his lips into yours, all but devouring your lips with his own. his kisses are passionate and sloppy, giving away just how much he's been waiting for this moment as well. he trails more kisses down your neck as you unbutton the nice white dress shirt he was wearing and throw it on the floor near your sweatpants. he clumsily takes off his slacks and underwear, leaving himself fully exposed while you were still (barely) covered by your small tank top and panties.

you take in his form, his chiseled body and long, thick cock making you clench around nothing and bite your lower lip. he smirks at your reaction for a moment before quickly moving down to the end of the bed, positioning his face between your thighs right in front of your dripping core.

without warning he drags his tongue along the length of your cunt over the ruined fabric. your moan makes him smile wide, fangs on full display. "mm, baby, already so wet just for me." he places a few kisses on your thigh, surprisingly soft compared to the rough ones on your mouth moments before. the teasing becomes too much for you though, and you buck your hips up on instinct trying to get more contact on the place you need it most.

you whine as mingyu pulls his head away and forces your hips down onto the mattress. "not so fast, sweetheart. i need to hear you say exactly what you want from me. be a good girl and ask nicely, and i'll give it all to you."

"your tongue.. need your tongue on my pussy. please, mingyu."

mingyu gives you a satisfied nod and wastes no time ripping your thin panties clean off you and tossing them aside. he dives straight into your folds, lapping at your cunt like a dog who hasn't drank anything in days. the sensation quickly becomes overwhelming and when he moves to focus his attention on your clit, you're brought closer and closer to the edge. you manage to get a few words out at a time between moans and heavy breaths. "mingyu, i'm so close.. c-can i please come?" you catch on quickly, knowing he probably wouldn't let you unless you asked nicely.

and it seemed to work. mingyu nods and lets out a hum of approval and that's all you need to allow your orgasm to overtake you. your hands grabbed at his thick, dark hair as you pulled him closer into your core, hips rocking back and forth as you rode out your high.

mingyu licked up all your juices as you came down and then looked up at you, chin wet and eyes looking even hungrier than before. he crawled back on top of you, kissing you somehow even more wildly than he had before. once he felt you had had enough time to recover from your first climax, he effortlessly picked you up and swapped your positions in one swift motion. he was now the one laying on his back while you were over top of him. you knew he must be strong with the way he was built, but you were a little speechless at the maneuver he just pulled off like it was nothing. once you snap out of it, you take advantage of your position being literally on top and try to take a bit of the control in this situation.

"now it's my turn to make you feel good. would you like that, hm? like to see me choking on that big dick?" you grind your core down onto his rock-hard member as you ask, eliciting a quiet groan from mingyu's throat. when he doesn't answer right away, you decide to rephrase the question in a way that makes him feel he still has all the control. "can i please suck your cock, mingyu?"

he nods and you get right to work. you position yourself between his legs and are a bit taken aback when you see just how big and thick he is up close and in detail. you lick your lips at the sight and get started. you bob your head up and down a few times, stopping only part of the way down as you don't think you'd be able to take all of him. this isn't good enough for mingyu however and he suddenly wraps your hair tight around his hand and pushes your mouth down his full length. the pain of his tip pushing at the back of your throat brings tears to your eyes, but it feels so good at the same time.

after bringing your head back up and letting you catch your breath for a moment, mingyu starts relentlessly fucking your mouth. the sounds that fill the room are so filthy and it's like music to his ears. "look at you. so pretty while i fuck your mouth. such a beautiful little slut for me." you moan at his praises, tears streaming down your cheeks. the vibration of your voice around him is enough to finally push him towards his climax and his thrusts become sloppier but more forceful. "fuck, baby, feel so good choking on my cock. you ready to swallow my cum like a good little whore?" you do your best to nod your head in agreement and seconds later you feel him unload down your throat. when he's finished, he pulls out and you swallow hard. you open your mouth to show him you took it all and he smiles, a little out of breath. "good girl."

the way he praises you makes your heart skip a beat. all you've wanted for so many years was to be with him like this. and even if this is the only chance you ever get, you're glad you could make him feel good and be his good girl for the night.

you think mingyu might need a minute to recover, but you're amazed when he's ready to go again almost immediately. he quickly sits up and begins messily making out with you again. as he does, he finally pulls off your tank top which somehow has stayed on this whole time. once your tits are free he takes a moment to look at them in awe. then, he's kissing and sucking on them just as gently as he had your thighs earlier. you appreciate the way he can be so rough and so gentle with you, making you feel better than anyone you'd ever slept with before.

the stimulation on your nipples heightens your arousal, but you need more. "mingyu.."

"what is it, princess?"

"please-- can you please fuck me? need you inside me now." your last word comes out more like a moan as mingyu lightly bites your sensitive nipple before pulling away to look you straight in the eye.

he can see the way your eyes beg for him and he just can't keep you waiting any longer. he throws you onto the bed on your stomach, the way he can just toss you around so effortlessly like a doll turning you on even more. he positions you with your head down on your pillow, ass up in the air as he gets on his knees behind you. then, he notices something that catches his eye: your phone that you had tossed onto the bed next to you earlier. it gives him a naughty idea and he grabs it quickly and before you can react, he's got the camera app open and recording a video.

"mingyu, what are you doing?!" suddenly you feel shy all over again.

"just filming a little something so you know this wasn't a dream." as he says this, he runs his tip through your folds, camera angled perfectly to capture everything. your shyness subsided and all you can think about is him finally rearranging your guts.

"ah, don't tease," you whine. "please put it inside. please, gyu." the nickname and the begging tone of your voice somehow make him harder, if that was even possible. he intends to oblige, but first, he hands you your phone.

"i'll give you all that you're begging for and more. but you gotta keep the camera on that pretty face of yours while i fuck you stupid. got it, baby?"

you nod and feel mingyu's hand come down and smack your ass, clearly not content with your lack of a verbal response. "not good enough, dear. need to hear you say it. do you understand?"

"yes, sir."

he groans, showing he clearly likes when you address him this way. as soon as you get the camera angled perfectly on your face, mingyu slowly starts pushing into your entrance.

"oh, fuck." you both say it simultaneously. his cock is so thick inside you and your pussy is so tight around him. you're not sure all of him will even fit, but he keeps slowly pushing in further and further until he bottoms out with a deep groan.

"that feel good, princess?" he stays still inside you, giving you time to adjust to his massive size.

"mm, yes, feels so good. filling me all the way up so fucking perfectly." you make direct eye contact with the camera as you speak, having enough foresight to know how hot it will be when either of you watches it back later.

mingyu takes this as his cue to finally start moving in you. he pulls back slowly, almost pulling all the way out before harshly thrusting back into you. you basically scream as he hits your sweet spot, nearly dropping the phone before quickly repositioning it. he then starts thrusting in and out of you at a steady and relentless pace.

the room, and probably your entire apartment, is filled with your moans and the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the camera capturing it all along with the tears that begin falling down your cheeks once again.

"fuck, baby, you're so tight. feel so fucking good clenching around me. better than i ever imagined. is this cock everything you dreamed of?"

"fuck, mingyu. so much better. so much bigger. fuck, just like that. please keep using my pussy just like that. it's all yours. i'm all yours, mingyu." you just keep babbling on, coming closer and closer to exploding again. the way you keep clenching around him is bringing mingyu back to the edge again as well.

"damn, baby, i'm so close. tell me where you want my cum and i'll let you come as well."

"inside. please, sir. i want you to come deep inside me. fill me up, please, gyu." you meant it when you said you were all his. and you wanted all of him, every last drop, inside of you.

after a few more strokes you both started coming undone. you tried your best to keep the camera focused on your face, but the video was probably going to come out just as shaky as your whole body was right now. mingyu painted your walls with his thick, hot white ropes of cum that mixed together beautifully with your own juices.

he stayed inside of you as you both caught your breaths a little. he reached forward and grabbed your phone from your hand, and focused it again on your cunt as he slowly pulled out. once his member was fully removed, he zoomed in on your hole as the mixture of liquids began to leak out and down onto the sheets below you.

once he felt like he got all the footage he needed, he locked your phone and threw it back onto the bed. mingyu could see you were too exhausted to move much on your own, so he went into your bathroom to get some towels to clean both you and the sheets up a bit before crawling into bed and cuddling with you.

he began petting your hair and showering you with praises. "you did so well, pretty girl. took my cock so well and looked so beautiful coming undone just for me." he kissed your forehead and you snuggled up closer to him, feeling so safe and warm in his big arms, comforted by the sound of his heart beating through his chest. you lay just like this for a bit before looking up at mingyu.

"thank you." he looks at you confused, cocking his head to the side like a curious puppy.

"thank you for making my dreams come true. even if it was just for one night.. i'm so happy to finally be with you like this."

mingyu looks a little upset at your words and you start to panic internally, fearing you've said something wrong.

"you don't have to thank me. i've wanted this just as badly, you know. but--" he stops for a moment but eventually continues. "was this just a one time thing for you?"

you're taken aback by how upset and almost insecure he seems, compared to how confident he had been all night.

"no!" it comes out a bit more panicked than you intended and you tried to calm yourself before continuing. "i just assumed.. i mean, would you want to do this again?"

"of course i would. you're the only girl i've wanted for years now, y/n. now that i've had you, i don't think i can ever let you go."

"but what about--" you stop yourself, realizing it would be weird for both of you to bring up your best friend and his younger sister while you're both laying naked together in bed after what you've just done. "are you sure?"

mingyu rolls over on his side, getting in a better position to look you in the eye and show you how sincere he is. "i've never been more sure about anything in my life. i'm completely yours, as long as you'll have me."

your eyes start to well up and you blink a couple times, mostly to make sure one final time that you're really not dreaming, but it also causes the tears to start streaming down. mingyu quickly wipes them away and caresses your cheek.

"of course i will, mingyu. you're literally a dream come true for me. like i told you earlier, i'm all yours."

mingyu pulls you closer to him and kisses you long and hard. when you finally part he just rests his forehead on yours for a moment and smiles, eyes still closed. when he's finally soaked up the moment, he quickly gets up from the bed leaving you a bit confused. he then walks around to your side and picks you up bridal-style without warning. you squeal at first and then start to giggle. he finds it so endearing how adorable you are and chuckles along with you.

"come on, pretty girl. let's go get properly cleaned up and get some well-deserved rest." he carries you across the room toward your bathroom so easily, as if you weigh nothing in his arms.

"yes, sir." your voice is so teasing now, completely unlike how you said the same phrase earlier that night.

"don't tease me, love. not unless you're ready for round two."

you smirk as you look up at him, still holding you while standing still in the doorway to your bathroom.

"i'm ready if you are."

a/n: this is my first nsfw piece so i hope it's okay 👉👈 any constructive feedback is greatly appreciated!! also, if you liked this please check out my other works here, and please reblog instead of just liking!

[daisynik7]

I blinked and suddenly I had a Valentine

Author's Note: modern setting, no curses, high school setting. ~1.3k words. Divider credit to @/cafekitsune. Title from the song “Valentine” by Laufey. Rice bear bathing in Japanese curry looks something like this (reddit link). Part of the past lives vignettes series. Thank you for reading!

It’s almost the end of January and you’ve spent the past three weeks at your new school eating alone, either in the classroom or in the cafeteria. You’re too shy to socialize with your peers, who are already well-established in their own social circles. This is what happens when you transfer in with less than three months left of the schoolyear. No one wants to be friends with the new girl, right? 

Well, two people prove this theory wrong. 

Yu Haibara is the first to approach you in the cafeteria during lunchtime. “Hi there!” he greets, taking a seat across from you, a cheerful smile on his face. You can tell from his aura alone that this is someone easy to get along with. Jovial, optimistic, kind-hearted. You’d normally feel nervous interacting with someone you’ve never met before, but his welcoming presence immediately puts you at ease. 

He’s followed by a blonde boy, slightly taller, a bit lanky, and sulking behind him. His name is Kento Nanami. You recognize him from your homeroom, though you’ve never spoken before. Occasionally, he eats his meals there, usually in the back with his headphones in, listening to music, while you’re in the front, indulging in whatever homemade bento box you decide to make for yourself that day. It’s crossed your mind more than once to join him so that neither of you are alone, though you’ve chickened out each time, convinced that he’d rather remain that way than be bothered by a nobody. Unlike Haibara, his lips are pressed together in a natural frown. You don’t sense unhappiness or animosity from him; rather, it’s indifference, apathy. When he sits down next to his pal, he gives you a nod, acknowledging you. 

Haibara does the courtesy of introductions. You hold your hand out to him, doing the same. He takes it enthusiastically, beaming at you. “I know who you are. I’m a first-year too!”

It doesn’t strike you as odd that he’s already somewhat familiar with you. Instead, you’re relieved to finally be making friends in this cutthroat environment called high school. After this first meeting, the three of you are inseparable. You get on well with Haibara, who’s an expert at keeping the conversation flowing. Nanami doesn’t say much, though you notice his subtle mannerisms that speak volumes more than what his actual words do. You can tell he admires your homemade lunches each time you uncover them at the table. His eyes light up, marveling at whatever creation you’ve concocted the night before: yakisoba, onigiri, chicken stir-fry. He doesn’t say anything, relying on Haibara to do the complimenting. You appreciate how intently he listens to you, even if he doesn’t have much to contribute. In homeroom, you sneak glances at him when your teacher says something particularly ridiculous, to which you spot the faintest hint of a smile flitting on his lips. And you realize that every time you’re walking beside each other, he makes sure to switch his bag to his arm away from you. Part of you hopes the real reason behind this is to be closer to you, but you try to keep those lovelorn thoughts buried in the back of your mind, being certain that’s not the case.  

You eventually find out that Haibara has severe allergies, especially during the seasons of Winter and Spring. He explains how he has to take at least a few days off once a month, sometimes an entire week. Today, he dons a face mask, already anticipating it. “Don’t miss me too much,” he jokes, his bright smile noticeable even behind the mask. It’s February now; the three of you sit together at your regular spot in the cafeteria. Nanami eats his rice bowl in silence while you say to Haibara, “You’re going to miss Valentine’s Day.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, smirking. “I guess the two of you will have to be each other’s Valentines.”

At this, Nanami almost chokes on his food, face turning scarlet. He reaches for his water bottle, which is empty, still clearing his throat as he excuses himself to refill it. When you’re alone, you glare at Haibara, scolding him. “Why would you say that?!”

He shrugs innocently. “What’s the big deal? He likes you.”

Your jaw drops at his surprising statement. You’ve always thought that Nanami tolerates you, but you never truly believed he could ever like you. “What do you mean?”

Haibara blinks at you, as if the answer is so obvious. “He told me about you. Said how you always had the most amazing bento boxes for lunch. How cute your smile was whenever you’d take a bite. He was too shy to talk to you first, so he had me do it. You…didn’t know that?”

You stare at him, shaking your head slowly, stunned by this revelation. 

He laughs nervously, scratching his head. “Oops.”

Nanami returns, back to his normal self now, remaining quiet. There’s still the faint blush on his cheeks; you pretend not to notice it. Nothing else is mentioned about Valentine’s the rest of the day, though it lingers on your mind the remainder of the week.

Haibara is out sick February 13th, leaving you and Nanami alone together for the first time since you befriended them. You’re curious to see if the dynamic would change, if Nanami would actually speak up now that his buddy isn’t around to fill the void with his amicable chatter. But lunch ends up being a quiet affair. You do your best to ask questions, start conversation, but he’s even more tense than he usually is. When you mention Valentine’s Day tomorrow, the familiar rosy tint spreads across his face. You drop it, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, though you can’t help thinking how sweet he is for reacting that way.

He likes you. The words have been replaying in your head since you heard them. And the truth is: you like Nanami too.  Based on what Haibara said, he might be too shy to tell you. 

So, you take matters into your own hands. 

The next day, February 14th, you come to school carrying a box wrapped in red ribbon. Inside homeroom. You greet Nanami politely, catching the way his gaze drifts to your hands. You smile wider to yourself, excited to present it to him later. At your seat, you can smell the decadent scent of homemade chocolates and heart-shaped candies from the other girls in your class. You get increasingly nervous about the gift, wondering if he’ll receive it well. Still, it’s worth a shot.

When class is over and it’s time for lunch, Nanami waits for you near the door to walk to the cafeteria together. Ready to leave, you stop him, clearing your throat before you announce, “I have something for you.”

His eyes widen, his jaw clenches. It’s obvious he wasn’t expecting this. 

You don’t hand it to him, afraid he wouldn’t know what to do with it. Instead, you untie the ribbon yourself, uncovering it. Inside is the bento box you prepared special for him. “I made this for you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Nanami.”

He reaches inside, holding the bento in his hands like found treasure. He snaps the cover off slowly, revealing rice balls formed into a cute bear, bathing in Japanese curry. A sheet of seaweed cut into a heart is placed directly in the center. 

You watch him for his response, heart racing against your chest. He inspects it carefully, his expression softening to one of adoration. When he looks at you, he smiles, and you swear you’ve never seen anything more beautiful than Nanami Kento smiling. 

“Do you like it?” you ask, needing to hear it in his own words. 

He nods, still smiling. “I love it.”

You spend your lunch in the classroom, eating your matching bento boxes together while listening to his music on shared headphones. 

For the first time in his life, Nanami has a special Valentine.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Would you do a second part of Damián x Cat!villain!reader? Or maybe something with a different plot, but I need it too much 😵‍💫

I don’t usually entertain part 2 asks but cause it’s you my adorkable Lucas, I shall. I’m adding the other boys and some wild cards for good measure.

tw/cw: yandere, dick’s part gives me major second hand embarrassment but maybe that’s a me issue, (implied) jason has seggs with your unconscious body (but it’s consensual). damian is aged up but still younger than reader hence the condescending way of speech the latter has for him.

ROOFTOP TALKS W/ THE BOYS

☁️ . . . w/ Dickie Boi

When you were dating it was a lot of you flirting and him asking you to be a bit more professional. And then you promptly reminding him that your profession is being a thief.

And that you were taking that profession seriously by stealing his heart.

Kisses in the rain were pretty much your guys’s thing. As much as your cat heart hated being wet.

When he became Nightwing and after Jason’s death, you guys didn’t break up immediately. Just fizzled out. Long talks about everything and anything became short greetings and small talk until you two officially ended it.

Nowadays Dick tries his hardest to get your attention, he shows off a lot. Ups the romanticness of it all. Brings you all around the city for dates before you two chill on your favorite spot.

Dick felt great. He just spent an entire night out on a date with his first love, some might argue that you’re his only true one too. You two haven’t been able to hang out due to the chaos of life and Jason. But finally he was able to have you for himself for once. No Tim to watch you two through the cameras (he made sure all of those were unavailable), no Damian to stalk you two within the shadows (it took a while, but he managed to convince the big ol’ bat to keep the youngest occupied), and no vigilante business he had to deal with.

There was just one last thing. A kiss. (He wanted sex, to feel you around him again. But considering you two just got back into the swing of things he was willing to wait)

He closed his eyes, and leaned forward.

Only to be met with air.

And then the ground.

“Uhm. Did you just — I mean I know I look cute tonight and all — but did you just try to kiss me, Grayson?” You had only managed to narrowly dodge the action. A little amused by the way he’s currently making out with the floor, but mostly confused and somewhat terrified.

Dick groaned, of all the things to put him on the ground this week. “I thought - I thought we were…”

You looked at him, blinked a few times, and managed to utter out, “Dude.”

☁️ . . . w/ Hubby Toddy

Imma be honest with you. You two bone 80-90% of the times you guys meet.

The only reason that it’s not 100% is because of the danger you two are in for that 10-20%

The vigilante/villain lifestyle and environment isn’t ideal for boning 24/7 y’know.

The reason why you guys fuck so often is cause Cat Villain! Reader being the menace they are only has to remind Jason that he died a virgin for you two to get down to business.

The Batboys are obsessed with proving themselves/ a point in general after all. So you often play them like a fiddle with just a few words.

Aside from that, a lot of your rooftop talks are you being snarky towards each other. Jason asking you to stop risking your life with heists and you vice versa with his vendetta.

Which usually leads to anger fucking but I digress.

You two often snack on the greasiest, unhealthy food while together.

Sometimes you spend hours talking about what he missed while he was gone. Of course he already knows everything. He kept tabs on you and whatnot. But hearing you speak gives him a sense of calm like no other.

Cuddling ftw. Jason adores enveloping you.

He likes doing stuff that proves that you exist?? Like that you’re next to him. That both of you are alive in that moment.

“‘M sleepy.” Your eyelids were beyond heavy at that point. Jason wanted you to be up for every single round, and it seemed like his stamina was endless.

Usually you’d pass out and he’d just continue getting off using you but that night he gave you a challenge. Something about wanting to see the way your pretty eyes as he ruined your insides.

“Too much action for you tonight, kit?”

“Mhm.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.” He shifted your body in a more secure position, wrapping his large arms around your form.

“Promise me you won’t disappear?”

“I’m here always.” He let out a deep breath.

As soon as he made sure you were out cold he continued,

“Not even death will keep me away from you, baby.”

☁️ . . . w/ Timsies Whimsies

Most of your hang outs are spent indoors

Otherwise it’d be you hovering over his shoulders as he works on his projects.

Most of your rooftop times with Tim are spent in silence, playing video games, or board games.

Sometimes you two would spend hours playing and voicing cheesy dating sims.

But sometimes you use the time to get him to sleep.

You two are very much opposites when it comes to sleep times. Like if we go full on cat mode here, you prolly sleep off like 70% of your life.

I really shouldn’t be writing this while I’m sleepy as hell shouldn’t I?

Tim had never slept so well in his entire life.

All he remembered before being lulled into dreamland was you singing, patting him on the head, and some laughter before everything went dark.

But now he wishes he never slept at all.

“Is this . . . an edit of us a kids—“

Tim slammed his laptop shut so hard he’s pretty sure he’d broken it.

You looked at him incredulously. How long had you been snooping through his stuff? How did you even manage to unlock it? He made sure it was inaccessible even to Bruce.

“I . . . I read this one fanfic . . . that we met as kids and grew up together.” He confessed.

Yes, Tim gets brainrots over [Cat Villain Name] x Reader / Red Robin fanfics. Could you blame him?

“Honestly that’s pretty cute and wholesome. The other things you have there on the other hand . . . “

“I’ll pay for all of your boba expenses for a year if you forget about this.”

“A decade and I’ll never look through your shit again.”

“Deal.”

☁️ . . . w/ Damie Baby

Up until recently your rooftop meetings have been an even more snarky version of Jason’s with less hatefucking more … hating.

While Dick is more extravagant with how he shows off. Damian is more on the ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m just this awesome’ side of the spectrum.

It took him a while to finally figure out that you being a menace is more of a facade if anything

And boy did it make him get a romantic boner when he found out

Like it went from you teasing him to hell and back to him turning the tables

“Wow, ain’t it past your bedtime, Damie?”

“Not my fault I can’t get a wink of sleep without you beside me.”

“. . .Ah.”

Aside from that you like roping him into playing games and basically all the things he missed out on being trained to be as an assassin.

He in turn does more traditional courting methods on you. Like buying you flowers, having slow dances.

Sometimes you do each other’s henna.

(He definitely is smug about it when other members of the batfam ask)

He often scolds you about reading so much late into the night…and insists he reads everything for you while you sit prettily on his lap

His favorite activity is running his hands through your hair as you lay your head on his lap while he dictates a book out loud. Usually it’s non fiction so that A) you’d sleep faster, and B) he gets his readings for uni in.

☁️ . . . w/ Bruce ig

“Hey, loser.” You purred, appearing from the underneath Batman’s cape.

Without a beat, he replied, “[Cat Villain Name].” and nothing else. He does not move. Doesn’t even make an attempt to seem affected by your antics.

“Awe, I missed you too!” You hugged him tightly and gave a pat for measure.

You were about to let when you felt a weight atop your head.

He was… giving you a headpat? Albeit awkwardly.“Who are you and what did you do to—“

“Treat them well.”

And he disappears.

Hey, wasn’t that your move?

In anycase,

It’s about time that Bruce learnt,

if you can’t beat em, join em.

[alessiasfreckles]

amnesia - part 2 (ona batlle x reader)

You're released from hospital in the hopes that returning home will help some of your memories return. Part 1 here!

warnings: angst, hospitals, memory loss

a/n: sorry to everyone who just wanted a happy ending... you're not getting it just yet x

-----------

You stayed in the hospital for a week after waking up. Every day, Ona and Alexia would be there. Sometimes other teammates would join - teammates whose names and faces you couldn’t recall, but when you’d hear their voice you suddenly remembered their favourite food, without knowing who they were. 

Things like that gave Ona hope. Hope that you would remember your life together before the accident.

Every day she arrived with bright eyes, eager to see if you remembered anything, remembered her, but every day you greeted her with a friendly but somewhat vacant smile, like you weren’t sure what to make of her yet. And you weren’t. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that there was something she wasn’t telling you. She seemed way too concerned about you to just be your best friend, but why would she lie?

Alexia asked her the same thing.

“You should tell her the truth,” the captain said, arms folded. “It’s not fair to her.”

“I don’t want to overwhelm her,” Ona protested. Part of her was hoping desperately that you would remember her, that she wouldn’t have to tell you, that your relationship was important enough to break through the amnesia clouding your mind. 

She was also desperately hoping she wouldn’t have to tell you that she was the reason you had been in the accident at all.

“I think you should tell her.” 

“Yes, I’ve understood that, thank you,” Ona snapped, and left Alexia standing outside your room without a second glance.

Alexia sighed. She didn’t want to overstep. It was something she’d been careful about since you arrived in Barcelona. She’d been quick to push down any feelings she had towards you, reminding herself time and time again that she couldn’t act on them, it wasn’t right, she was your captain. And when you and Ona started dating a little over 6 months ago, well, she was even more determined to squash any feelings she had for you. 

Fixing her face into a smile, she walked into your room. Ona barely glanced at her as she came in, focused on you.

“Did you remember anything new?” Ona asked you.

“Not really, no,” you said, shaking your head. “Some stuff about my parents.”

“Ah,” she winced. You didn’t have a big family, you were an only child, so it was just you and your parents. You didn’t have a good relationship with them, you never had. They didn’t care about your football, and there were countless times that you’d been driven to and from training by your friends’ parents, or even by your coaches. It made sense that they hadn’t bothered coming to Barcelona after your accident. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged. 

“What about football?” Alexia asked. Talking about football seemed to help, and it at least made you smile. 

“I remember more about playing!” you said, sitting up excitedly. “I remember being on the pitch, how it feels to kick the ball. I miss it.”

All three of you looked at your right leg. It had been operated on when you were still in a coma, but the doctors had put a cast on it for the time being, and you had strict orders not to put any weight on it for at least 2 weeks. It wasn’t just your leg that was the problem - being in a coma for 15 days had made your body weak, weaker than you would have thought. Playing football was out of the question, at least for the foreseeable future.

“Oh, they said I can go home on Friday, by the way,” you told them. “They said something about memories coming back, I think? The doctor couldn’t think of the word in English, but I think she was saying that there’s a good chance a lot of my memories will come back when I’m in a familiar environment. But if that doesn’t happen it’s okay too.”

“Excelente!” Alexia beamed. “We will be here to pick you up.”

You were trying not to get your hopes up too much, but you really, really hoped that going home would help bring back some of your memories. You didn’t even know what ‘home’ was, what it looked like, where it was. The girls had shown you some pictures, also hoping to trigger some locked away memory, but none of it helped. Nothing felt familiar. 

On Friday, Alexia and Ona spoke to the doctor in rapid Spanish. You’d been told that you had been learning it before the accident, that you’d started when you moved to Barcelona over a year and a half ago, but now you couldn’t remember any of it.

As they wheeled you out of the hospital, crutches on your lap, Ona explained what the doctor had said.

“For now you have to rest, and next Friday you have an appointment to take the cast off. After that you’ll have physiotherapy four times a week, and occupational therapy twice a week. The hospital also recommended you see a psychiatrist to deal with the trauma of the accident and losing your memories,” she said with a slight wince. 

You nodded. “That makes sense.” 

The drive home was quiet. You spent it looking out of the window, feeling as though you were seeing everything for the first time, but also with a strange sense of déjà vu. You didn’t like the combination. It felt wrong. 

When the car approached an apartment building and slowed to a halt, you expected some kind of familiarity, for your memories to come flooding back, but nothing happened. The building was unremarkable, nothing about it said ‘home’ to you. 

The two women watched your reaction, first hopefully, then subdued as they realised you didn’t recognise it. 

“Come on,” Alexia said, opening the car door. “Let’s go inside. Maybe that’ll be better.”

You studied your apartment door for a moment before unlocking it, waiting to see if it triggered anything. When nothing happened, you pushed the door open, taking a deep breath. The hallway of your apartment was light and airy, tidier than you’d been expecting, for some reason. 

“Am I usually this tidy?” you asked, turning to look at Ona. 

She snorted. “No, not really. But you don’t spend that much time here, you’re usually at m- um, at training, or at somebody’s house.”

A crease formed between her eyebrows as she frowned slightly, but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared. You hobbled inside, taking in the pictures and trinkets on the walls of the living room. There was a corkboard full of photos and memorabilia, and next to it was a framed jersey with your name on it. 

“I remember that!” you exclaimed, your mind flooded with images and emotions. “That’s from my first international game! That’s when I made my debut! I remember walking onto the pitch and feeling so proud, and so nervous, and so, so excited.”

Alexia and Ona grinned in unison at your outburst, elated that you’d remembered something else and that being home amongst your things was working, at least a little.

You leant in closer to look at the corkboard, taking in all of the pictures. There was one of the whole Barcelona team, a couple selfies you’d taken with some of your teammates, photos of a group of you on a boat somewhere. There were some photos of you and Alexia, and some of you, Alexia and Ona. And there were a lot of pictures of just you and Ona. In fact, around half of them were of you and Ona - selfies, pictures other people had taken of you, pictures of just Ona where you had the distinct feeling that you’d taken them, though you didn’t know why. 

Examining them closer, you realised that in a lot of them, the two of you were close, closer than you’d been expecting of someone who was just your best friend. Pictures of the two of you cuddled into each other, your head buried in her neck, pictures where her hand was on your thigh or your arm was wrapped tightly around her waist.

Pictures of the two of you kissing.

“What are these pictures?” you asked, turning to look at Ona. Her eyes were wide, lips parted, and you pushed down the sudden urge to kiss her. “Ona? What’s going on?”

-----

Part 3 here x

[ozzgin]

How would the guys react to prehistoric reader fighting pickle (and she wins if that’s akay) Since he angered her. Because he ate her food( or she really loves food or she’s on her period)

(hope it makes sense )

I can never say no to a strong female character so it’s absolutely okay! If you‘d be so kind, I have two more asks regarding the prehistoric reader that I think are somewhat similar, so I’d just combine them under your request.

The first request: prehistoric pregnant reader “adopts” Baki (our affection deprived boy could use some love); her first spoken word is “Pickle”, and finally she gives birth to twins

The second request: prehistoric reader begins understanding modern human language, surprising the fighters, and begins translating for Pickle.

Baki Characters x Prehistoric! Fem Reader (II)

Featuring Pickle and his challengers. The sequel to our prehistoric reader that just gave birth and is slowly cozying up to modern life.

Reader wins against Pickle

You don’t even remember what set you off. Maybe the pregnancy hormones had gotten out of hand, or Pickle’s successive wins had earned him too much audacity. What’s certain is that you weren’t pleased with his attitude and decided to remind him you’re not one of the humans for him to show this insolence.

Hearing the savage, vicious growls that erupted from your chest as you slammed Pickle’s unconscious body into the ground one final time, no one really dared to interrupt you. Retsu, Katsumi and Jack had already received extensive injuries from a Pickle that held back still. They didn’t wish to ponder what you could do to them in your current state. Baki glanced at his father, wondering if he’d be tempted to challenge you during this unique opportunity.

Yuujirou, however, was trying his best to hold back his laughter. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so entertained. If you were moping the floors with Pickle with a massive pregnant belly, how damn strong were you on a regular day? He nearly put his hands together in prayer, hoping you’d stick around once you were done popping kids. He wanted to fight you so badly and felt like a schoolgirl kicking her feet on the mattress the night before a class trip.

Baki finds it amusing that you’re seemingly stronger than Pickle. His only goal is defeating his father. Of course, anyone strong enough could provide him with extra training for the final battle, but at this point, with you as his opponent, he might actually be overreaching. He hopes you won’t decide to fight Yuujirou anytime soon, because he wants to be the one to defeat him first. Jack shares this sentiment but is also a bit deflated knowing how big the gap between him and the ancient humans is.

Reader’s first word

Pickle is curled up in his enclosure’s tree trunk, pouting mildly after the angry defeat he suffered. To add insult to the injury, he can hear Baki’s spoiled chuckles as you feed him some of your T-Rex meat. After his fight with Pickle, the young boy was most open to receive aftercare and attention and you found it utterly adorable that someone as strong as him enjoyed special treatment.

The other men found it rather humiliating to rely on you and would gently let you know that they can manage just fine. But Baki immediately clung onto you and in time you began to wonder about his family. You weren’t entirely sure how to express the question to him. Did he have a mother? Where was she? How would you gesture for “mother” in the first place? If only you could articulate the same noises the other humans used to communicate. It looked very efficient and also very complex.

You glance at Pickle’s hiding spot, lost in thought. You try to replay some of the dialogues you’ve witnessed. In your mind, you closely observe the men discussing things in front of your prehistoric mate. The way their jaw opens and closes at calculated intervals. Why is the tongue contracting so frequently? Is this the tool needed to turn your growls into intentional, obvious messages? You pucker your lips and allow some air to blow out, like a faint whistle. Then, you tighten your lips and release them with pressure, and a “pop” sound comes out. Baki observes your attempts, confused. You press your tongue against the roof of your mouth and exhale. Another flattened whistle is released.

Finally, you flex your vocal chords with just enough force that the growl smoothens out and is replaced by a continuous voice. You repeat the movements that you’ve practiced in your head. So many people have used this word when looking at him. It can only mean one thing, and you want to hear it roll out of your own mouth. “Pi-ku-ru~”

Pickle pokes his head out of the enclosure, perplexed. That was certainly your voice, but the contents delivered by it were nothing he would’ve expected. His eyebrows are raised and he looks at your equally shocked expression. Baki is dumbfounded. He feels like he just witnessed something forbidden, of unspeakable importance. The raw piece of meat hangs in his mouth, yet to be chewed. You turn to the small human, seeking approval. Was this the correct way to do it? Have you made your message clear?

Before a potential answer comes out, you rush to Pickle and grab his face between your hands. Such a bizarre sensation. Within this vast, intricate language that the humans used, this one sequence of contractions and movements was specially designated for him. This one prolonged sound, and his eyes will lock with yours because he knows it’s him you’re calling. You gently kiss Pickle and he clumsily returns the gesture, still unsure of what is happening.

Birth and aftermath

Professor Payne is pacing in front of the hospital room. He doesn’t know what to be more excited about. The fact that two more prehistoric humans will soon walk the modern Earth, or that their mother casually reproduced articulate language just a few days ago. He clenches his fist in his pocket, somewhat resentful of Baki for being the one to retell the story. What unbelievable potential. His nostrils can already pick up the fresh ink of the soon-to-be published newspapers: “Noam Chomsky’s works in linguistics threatened by latest breakthrough - Discovery of Dr. Payne shows that ancient, Jurassic humans posses the skill to acquire spoken language. Implications unknown.”

Meanwhile, the fighters are gathered in the cramped hospital room. As they have proven their friendship to Pickle, it’s only natural to share this intimate moment with him. Pickle is holding one baby in each arm, cooing at them excitedly. Katsumi is pretending to be focused on a sight outside the window in order to hide his glossy eyes; births are always emotional for him. Retsu is standing close to the entrance, arms folded. He, too, is distracted by the knowledge that you may understand them and reproduce their words. He absentmindedly goes back to his encounters with you, hoping he didn’t say anything out of place that you might’ve picked up.

Baki is sitting on the side of your bed, carefully kneading your hand in an attempt to relax you. “You really should try some of the hospital food, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a dish this fancy!” He smiles at you and then nods in the direction of the tray. You follow his gaze and process his words. “Want try?” You manage to croak. Everyone in the room pauses to look at you. They already knew it from Baki, but hearing it firsthand truly is an astonishing experience. There’s a silent enthusiasm shared by the men standing close and Pickle tenses up, a small frown forming on his face. They better not get any ideas.

“What do you think about your new siblings?” Jack questions Baki jokingly. “Given you’ve been adopted by (Y/N) and all.” You follow the conversation with analytical eyes and Jack wants to try his hand at explaining the words to you. Once the meanings start to connect, you laugh and begin gesturing to Pickle, aided by short growls. Everyone assumes you’re translating to him. Pickle glares at Baki and his hold on the babies tightens, perhaps too hesitant to agree to your bond with the little modern human.

Pickle sighs deeply. Not only was he thrown into this strange world, but now there’s a bunch of men that are starting to show too much interest in you. He’ll have to put them in their place very soon if this continues. He’s especially annoyed at your fast learning pace when it comes to conversing with these creatures. He needs to hurry up and catch up to you if he wants to know the intentions of his rival friends.

[ohtobeleah]

M.U.R.P.H // Bradley Bradshaw

Summary: An undisclosed pregnancy that you and your husband try keeping a secret ends up being the reason you end up in hospital during a PTI session with the Dagger Squad.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: Pregnancy. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader. Mild Angst.

Author Note: Happy Saturday! This is pretty self indulgent but I final finished this one-shot that’s been in my drafts forever.

“Alright team.” Pete Mitchell, although overworked and severely underpaid for the crap he put up with–grinned ear to ear at his group of elite Naval Aviators who sat before him after debriefing this morning's training exercise. “As you know, this weekend is Memorial Day weekend and the Admirals have decided to get a jump start on the events.” 

“Are we getting a long weekend?” Fanboy beamed hopefully as he sat up a little straighter. “Please tell me we’re getting a long weekend—“ He hoped that if he asked with enough conviction in his voice the answer would be yes. However, he hadn’t noticed you standing at the back of the room. A protective hand over your barely visible baby bump. Waiting for the right moment to make your presence known. Bob had noticed though—he was already dreading what was to come. He hated Memorial Day. Not because he didn’t want to pay respects to those who had fallen, no. He’d honour the fallen every damn day if he had to. 

So long as he didn’t have to participate in Murph.

You’d been his PTI during his time in Lamoore. You were the first Bradshaw he’d met and before he later Met Bradley Bradshaw and put two and two together that the two of you were married–nothing had ever made more sense. 

Bob’s heart had sunk into his ass when he found out you were being transferred to North Island. You were somewhat of a hard task master when it came to gruelling training sessions and Memorial Day always gave you free rein to send anyone packing with their tail between their legs if they couldn’t keep up. 

You were, however, a solid friend. When you weren’t working, you were the life of the party. The brightest smile in the room and always the one who everyone gravitated towards. Much like Bradley, you two always seemed to get the party started. Whether it was playing great balls of fire and singing at the top of your lungs—or starting an important dart night that saw a permanent tally board hung up beside the much too loved dartboard. There had been a time or two where you’d challenged the strongest of the bunch to an arm wrestle—Bob was always the first to bow at your bark. Not one to challenge anything you said, hell he’d do just about anything you told him to do….

So long as he didn’t have to participate in Murph. 

Bob had never been one to believe in soulmates before he saw you and Bradley together, he’d never met two people more suited for each other. But neither of you needed to hear that from him–you’d already managed to figure that out on your own. 

“No, Fanboy—“ Maverick sighed as he gestured for you to make your way to the front of the class. “No you aren’t getting a long weekend, what you are getting though, is a killer workout with PTI Bradshaw.” You heard the mixed reviews your introduction received. You’d only just recently finished running annual fitness testing for those who needed to be re-evaluated. So the idea of yet another gruelling workout tossed their way wasn’t what some of the aviators had in mind for a head start on the weekend. 

Jake Seresin and Javy Machado however? Oh they were wrapped. They loved a challenge—they adored you and they certainly came over the challenges you loved to hand out. 

“Morning everyone.” You beamed as you handed Rooster, you beloved husband, who sat in the front row with a soft grin, a pile of papers. “Take one and pass them along please Lieutenant Bradshaw.” Your fingers lingered across Bradley’s for a few seconds as he smiled softly back at you with heart shaped eyes. He always thought you looked so different with your hair pulled back into a ridiculously tight bun. Your uniform made you look so different, nothing like what you looked like at the Hard Deck with your hair out and mum jeans on. Sitting beside him at the piano playing great balls of fire. A Margarita in your hand and his glasses over your beautiful eyes. Nothing like what you looked like tucked into his side, hair splayed every which way and silk pyjamas adorning your beautiful body. 

“Physical Training Instructors play a key role in developing and maintaining the health, fitness and well-being of our airmen. In the United States Navy, physical fitness is absolutely essential in maintaining good health and overall wellbeing.” Pete Mitchell had been required to say that little statement prior to any session he handed over to you. “Regardless of Rank, PTI “Agony” Bradshaw will be your superior for the next two hours—with that I hand you over.”

“Thanks Mav.” You chuckled, appreciating the way you were so respected by the veteran aviator. PTI’s didn’t always have the best wrap—so when Maverick commanded the attention of everyone in the room on your behalf it gave you a little more confidence each and every time. “Alright flyboys—“ You teased, turning your attention to Phoenix so you could address her too. “And Flygirl, today we’re doing MURPH—“ 

Your declaration was met with a choir of dismay and disapproval from at least half of the team that sat before you. Suddenly their shoulders were a little more slouched and their faces plastered with existential dread when they started reading over the workout plan you'd had Bradley pass back. No one liked doing MURPH, except maybe Jake Seresin.

“Ma’am, I think that sounds like a great idea—“ Hangman sent you one of his thousand watt grins as he played with the toothpick that sat between his teeth. “Don’t you think your wife here comes up with some banger ideas, Rooster?” Bradley did think you had some good ideas, he wasn't going to let you know that though–if he did he knew his workouts, his Personal Training sessions and his Fitness Testing would just increasingly get harder and harder. It had only been by the skin of his goddamn nose that you passed his last Multi-Stage Fitness Test. Bradley Bradshaw was a hunk and with that meant he himself was not the most aerodynamic of the bunch–Bob had passed with flying colours, although you did nearly force him to restart his push-ups again when you caught him cheating on range. 

“She told me what she had planned last night Hangman, I’m ready to go, brought my pre workout in my bag and everything—“ Rooster just sighed as he leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs as he brought his hands up to rest behind his head. “Piece of cake.” 

“I have never heard anyone say MURPH is a piece of cake.” Phoenix groaned. “Aggie, please–” 

“I don't make the rules, Lieutenant, I just enforce them.” You had gotten used to the love-hate relationship and animosity you received while you were in uniform, it was your job to make sure none of the navy’s finest aviators let their fitness fall to the wayside. “Now for those who don't know what MURPH is, i'll explain quickly then you can all take twenty to change, refuel, and meet me over in the gym.” As you pulled out the empty chair that sat vacant next to your husband, you used it as a footstool before propping yourself up on the desk. Clearing your throat before reading out the workout explanation on the sheet you'd distributed. 

“M.U.R.P.H is a hero WOD dedicated to Michael P. Murphy, the first service member to receive the Medal of Honor for service in Afghanistan, during a Memorial Day event on Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan, May 24, 2015.” Although there were more people sitting before you who didn't like the idea of such a gruelling workout, they did respect the fallen. “Michael's favourite workout was dedicated to him after his passing and thus, will be your workout today.” You felt the stomachs of everyone, all but Jake And Javy who just sat a little straighter in their chairs, drop.

“Today you will complete a one mile run, 100 pull-ups, expected to be chest to bar, 200 push-ups, 300 bodyweight squats, and to finish up we’ll run another mile.” Bradley crept a hand around your calf, thumbing your uniform as he squinted his eyes and bit his bottom lip, hoping you wouldn't add anything else to the list…..He should have known better. But he couldn't hold a grudge against you–not when you were four months pregnant and glowing. You were hiding your pregnancy well, it wasn't that you didn't want your friends and family to know, it's just you wanted to revel in the experience with Bradley for a little while longer before telling everyone you were both expecting. “Usually the twenty pound weight vest would be optional, but boys and girls you are some of the Navy’s finest Aviators, so you will all complete this course while wearing a twenty pound vest, none-notable people.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*

In the locker room, Nomex Flight Suits had been discarded for workout gear. Standard issue work boots had been replaced by trainers, and any and all standards of professionalism had gone out the window. It was the one thing everyone actually did enjoy about having you as their PTI, you weren’t big on formality. As long as respect was there you couldn’t give a rats ass about if people swore at you or razzed you. It made the job just a little bit more enjoyable. 

The last thing anyone wanted to do while they were working out was keep a rigid and professional persona. 

“Man, sometimes I hate your wife.” Phoenix grumbled as the group walked out of the locker room with towels slung over their shoulders and copious amounts of pre-workout scooped into shakers. Bradley couldn't help but to laugh, he loved you so much, the wedding band wrapped around his ring finger was there to prove it. The tattoos of your name on his left ass cheek was also there to prove it. 

“I wouldn't let her hear you say that.” Bradley paused as he took a swig of his pre-workout before handing it to Jake who looked like he was pumping himself up for the fight of his life. “She’ll ‘accidentally’ forget to count your reps and make you start again.” 

“This is surely a form of torture–” Fanboy added as he trailed behind with Bob. 

“It's a hero WOD Fanboy–respect the dead.” Jake hissed, he was as keen as, the only one in the group who hadnt had a negative thing to say about your workout plan. “I don't know why you guys aren't more excited.”

“Unlike you Hangman, most of us aren't gluttons for punishment.” Payback teased as he came to sling an arm around Jake's shoulders. “Or degradation, considering the unholy things I've seen in your search history.” Jake and Bradley had grown closer in the past few years that saw them in North Island permanently, there had been more times than you could count where the two of them would stumble back to your humble abode, drunk out of their minds. There had even been a time or two where you'd caught them spooning on the couch when Rooster couldn't take the stairs in his drunken state. 

“None of which compare to what Bradsaw probably cops in the bedroom.” Jake was quick to turn the attention back on Rooster, sending him a smirk over his shoulder as he took a quick sip of the pre-workout they were sharing and handed it over. “Huh Rooster? Agony probably has you wrapped around her little finger.” It was no secret amongst the group that you were a power house PTI, you didn’t dish out any workout you couldn't do with your eyes closed, something that the Daggers really valued about you was your integrity. You were honest and kind and above all, you levelled with them. You weren't a hypocrite and you, as much as you hated your job some days, the constant pressure, the delayed onset muscle soreness, the gruelling workouts and the sweat, you led by example and practised what you preached. 

That didnt mean you and Bradley wouldn't reserve Friday nights for takeout and chocolate. 

“That she does.” Was all Bradley replied with, “Have you fucking seen her? She’d kick my ass any day of the week if I gave her any ounce of crap.” He was without a shadow of a doubt whipped, but Bradley had always been that way with you–ever since he met you at his first water survival training weekend, he was down bad. He’d been assigned to your little group that first Saturday and you sent his heart into the stratosphere the first time you smiled at him. He was still unsure if it had ever come back or if your unconditional love and admiration just kept it hovering in the ozone layer. 

“She looks like she's glowing.” Bob remarked as the group mixed with nervousness, existential dread and far too much ego radiating of one particular member made their way across the tarmac to the base gym you could be found in any given day of the week. It was your home away from home. Kitted out with state of the art equipment, a spacious and functional environment that was welcoming and motivating. “She's far too excited about this, oh my god.” 

Bradley knew you were glowing, but he also knew it wasn't because you were excited. He knew that it was because of the little one growing inside you, a mix of him and you. He kind of hoped it was a boy, but everyone always told him he’d make a good girl dad. Regardless–he just wanted to be a dad, his biggest achievement by far would be being a good dad.

“She really is.” Bradley beamed as he heard the unmistakable tune of AJR’s Burn The House Down blasting through your speakers, reading over the workout plan one final time as you sat on the sled track, legs sprawled as you hummed away in your own little word. Twirling the pen you held in your hand absentmindedly, Bradley’s voice brought you out of your concentration. Alerting you that the team was ready to be put through their paces. “We’re hear for your torture session, Agony, don’t hold back on Hangman though, he’s been gloating since, well–forever really.” Bradley teased as he offered you a gentle hand, helping you rise up from the felt sled track. You immediately felt a dizziness unparalleled to anything you'd ever experienced before. So much so you fought off the urge to succumb to the feeling of descent as you stumbled and stammered for a second. 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Lieutenant.” You smiled, exhaling as you steadied your equilibrium. Bradley caught on immediately that you were feeling slightly uneasy, placing a soft hand against the small of your back as you cleared your throat and rolled up your sleeves a little. “Alright, So I’ve measured out half a mile along the airfield, so it's half a mile to and half a mile back– You can either run the tarmac or use the treadmill.” You explained to everybody standing around  listening in to what you had to say. 

“Can we break up the reps Y/n?” Payback asked as he shouldered Bob, forcing him to lose his footing slightly, stumbling for a second as he sent Payback look. “Or is it strictly 100, 200, 300?” 

“I don't care what you guys do so long as you get it done.” Your tone made Fanboy shiver, you could be a hard task master when you wanted to be. “Start warming up and we’ll get this show on the road.” Bradley was quick to sneak a peck on the cheek when the group started to disperse, all except for Hangman a little on edge about what was to come. 

“You feeling alright darlin?” He cooed, walking with you over to your desk where you’d left your water bottle. 

“Your baby is the size of a pear at the moment and she's already giving me a hard time.” Neither you nor Bradley wanted to know if you were having a boy or a girl, you wanted it to be a surprise, both having made lists that kept growing with names galore. “I'm just starting to feel really sluggish, which is hard to hide when I'm usually the energiser bunny on base.” 

“Dr. Richards did say you’d need to pull back a little the further along you get baby." It was hard to accept that you would eventually have to slow down, up until about two weeks ago you had been fine, apart from the morning sickness you had dealt with in the first trimester. Bradley respected your boundaries when you were both at work, knowing professionalism in the workplace was important to you, however–that didn't stop him from discreetly placing a gentle hand atop your stomach, finding the small baby bump hiding under your work uniform. The camo green fabric warping around your naval under his palm. “But that doesn't mean you're not any less capable, just means you’re growing our little boy which in my opinion, is pretty spectacular.” 

“Just means we’ll need to tell everyone sooner rather than later Roo.” You sighed, taking a sip of your water, not knowing that Phoenix had spotted the gentle touch of your husband's hand resting on your stomach for a brief moment. Her eyes wide in shock as her jaw slacked slightly. Phoenix though, the master of recovery, disguised her surprise when you turned around to round up the gang that were all in the process of warming up in some way shape or form. “Alright, we can stagger the start for those who aren't warm enough–” You side eyed Bradley as he scoffed at you, leaving your side to join his colleagues. “

“Let's go boys and girl, we’re doing Murph baby!” Jake hollered out, clapping his hands down on Javys shoulders, pumping each other up as you laughed, a smile creeping across your face. “Bradshaw! You gonna try keep up with the big boys?” 

“Think I might taxi with Bob.” Bradley replied, jogging on the spot before giving his lower back a little twist side to side. Bob just rolled his eyes, to the untrained eye he was the kind of guy who kept his shirt on during beach days, but he thoroughly enjoyed cardio. If Rooster's plan had been to taxi with him during the mile run he was in for a rude shock, but Bob knew he was gonna lose time in the pull-up department. “You ready to go man?” 

“As ready as I'll ever be for this kind of workout.” Bob groned. “If I say I twisted my ankle now, do I still have to participate?” The group all laughed at the near winge that left Bob's mouth, he really wasn't up for this today–but what you came back with made the gym explode with boisterous laughter. 

“If you dont be careful Lieutenant Floyd l’ll pack an extra pound into your weight vest.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Phoenix saw her opportune moment to strike about half way through the first half mile. Bradley was starting to show a red hume across his face, a thin layer of sweat had started to form across his forehead and Phoenix knew that if he was focusing hard enough on keeping his pace steady with one foot in front of the other, she knew he was in no position to formulate a lie. 

“So–Bradshaw.” Phoenix started as she came up to jog beside Rooster. “How far along is she?” 

“How far along is who?” Bradley replied as he kept his head straight, focused on the marker up ahead that indicated the turn around point. Watching as Jake and Javy booked it around one another, racing ahead of the rest of the group who had all opted to taxi their way through this. 

“Agony, she's pregnant.” Phoenix spoke with such conviction that Bradley found it near impossible to try and formulate a lie that would cover up the truth of the matter. “I saw you put your hand on her stomach, and I know you wouldnt do that if she wasnt pregnant.” 

“She's feeling a little off today, little spud is kicking her around a little.” It was all the conformation Phoenix needed to let out a little squeal as she beamed at Rooster, smacking him in the shoulder. “Ow!” 

“Why would you keep this from us! Rooster! That's amazing, congratulations!” 

“We just wanted to enjoy it for a while, just us, we haven't even told her parents yet.” Bradley explained as he made it to the turnabout point with Phoenix, both keeping each other's pace. “She's four months, we don't wanna know the sex, but everything is going the way it should, doc said she’ll need to start pulling back soon though.” 

“Ah, so thats why she isn’t participating in the torture.” Phoenix had picked up on the fact you weren’t participating today, she thought it was odd that you weren't but wasn't about to question it. She was scared you'd match her attitude and give her an extra 100 push ups. “Mrs Bradshaw is knocked up.” 

“Yeah.” Bradley chuckled, he liked the sound of that. “I had to beg her not to last night when I saw the MURPH file sitting out on the dining table, got down on my knees and everything.” 

“You couldn't have just talked her out of the whole plan entirely?” Phoenix whined, starting to feel a little more puffed from talking as she jogged with Bradley. Starting to really feel herself warming up. 

“Oh trust me, I tried that too.” Bradley explained, laughing as he remembered how that conversation ended. “She seduced me just to get me to shut up.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

By the time Rooster and Phoenix got back to the hanger turned gym, Jake and Javy were already going ten reps for ten reps with their pull ups. Bob, Fanboy and Payback were just standing there, watching as they caught their breath and waited for Rooster and Phoenix to return. 

“Alright ladies, now that everyones back, there's no rest for the wicked.” You turned up the volume on the speaker you stood by before making your way over. “Lets hussle, clocks still ticking and the faster you get this done the less time you have to spend here with me.” 

Fanboy groaned as he turned to Bob, sharing a painful look of ‘I'm over this already.’ 

“How are you gonna break this up, Roo?” You cooed, coming to stand by your husband as you watched Payback and Phoenix get to work on the rig, everyone was working on their pull ups first. “If it was me i'd do ten at a time.” 

“I think I should be able to manage twenty-five at a time.” He smiled, mumbling under his breath in your ear as he leaned in to kiss your earlobe. “Phoenix knows you're pregnant by the way.” 

“What!?” You gasped. “How did she find out! You said we weren’t gonna tell anyone yet?” 

“Saw me touch your stomach before, figured it was a little sus.” Bradley cooed. “I'm sorry.” 

“No, no don't be, it was bound to happen sooner or later.” You accepted the reality, watching as your group worked through their reps, taking notice of Bob who was severely lacking in his rep range. “Floyd! Chin to bar!” 

“Yeah Bob, chin to bar.” Hangman added, laughing with that thousand watt grin he was known for. “Bradshaw! Stop trying to flirt your way out of this!” 

“That's my cue.” Bradley groaned, throwing his head back as he ran his hands through sweat covered locks. “Play nice please.” 

“Nope, hop to it Lieutenant–” You bit back, biting your bottom lip as you cautiously and ever so discreetly slapped Bradley on the arse, watching as you sauntered away with a little more pep in his step. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“I feel like my arms are gonna pop off!” Next was the push ups. Mickey groaned as he did his set of twenty as you came to kneel beside him. “You’re a vicious and cruel woman.” 

“Well I guess Agony is rather fitting, isn't it Fanboy?” you questioned through a soft laugh as you pressed a hand between his shoulder blades. “Retract your scaps, you're relying too much on your triceps, put the pressure through your chest and your longevity will increase.” 

“If i wasn't so mad i'd say thankyou.” He groaned, keeping on keeping on with his reps. As soon as he was done, Rooster started his, same as Payback. 

“Hmm, I'll take it.” You ruffled Mickey's hair, wiping the sweat you collected onto the thigh of your pants as you stood, feeling light headed as you rose too quickly. “Oh–” Your vision blurred momentarily as a slight ringing in your ears rang out, you tried to breathe through it, but you couldn't catch the feeling. 

“Hey Aggie, you okay?” It was Hangman who noticed that you were looking a little unsteady at first, but as soon as the words were leaving his mouth? You were going down. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head as the dizziness from standing too quickly took over you entirely. “Oh shit!” It normally wouldn't have been an issue, but you'd been feeling a little unsteady all day. “Y/n–” Hangman was quick to move to break your fall, catching you in his arms before you could hit the ground. “Rooster! Get over here will ya?” Jake called out, Bradley hadnt seen you fall, he was too busy focusing on his push-ups. “It's Y/n.” 

“What's wrong?” Bradley asked as he stood, noticing you passed out in Jake's arms. “Oh my god, hey–” He cooed, tapping your cheek softly as he crouched beside you on the other side of Jake, the whole ordeal had grabbed the attention of all the aviators you had in your gym. “Hey, darling, you okay? Open your eyes for me baby.” 

You did, slowly, fluttering your eyelids with a soft groan as you tried to sit up, still feeling dizzy.

“Woah–easy there killer, what's going on? I've never seen you pass out like that before.” Although Jake was technically addressing you, Bradley held a palm to your forehead as he pressed his lips together, watching as you struggled to focus on what was going around you. 

“She’s pregnant–” The gym went completely silent at Bradley’s major announcement. “I gotta get her to the hospital in case there's something wrong.” 

“Bradley, I'm fine.” You tried to reason with your husband as he scooped you up and into his arms, waiting for you to wrap your arms around his neck before he stood. “I promise, I just felt a little light headed is all.” 

“Yeah, no I don't care, we’re getting you checked out.” There was a distinct shift in Bradley’s tone, before he was playful, enjoying the workout as much as he could but now? He was as serious as ever, nothing was more important to him than you, his family. 

“Bradley, I'm in the middle of instructing a class.” Again you tried to defend the unnecessary need to go get checked out. You really didn’t feel like it was that big of an issue. “I can’t just leave? Everyone needs—“ Before you could finish, Bradley was interrupting. 

“Guys? you good?” Bradley turned around, addressed the totally stunned and flabbergasted group who just looked at him like he’d just dropped a major bomb on them. That his wife was expecting, you were gonna be a mother, and he, Bradley Rooster Bradshaw, was gonna be a dad. “You know what you’re doing don't you?” 

“Uh, yeah–” Bob started. 

“We’re good.” Payback stammered.

“We’ll be fine, just go make sure everything’s okay.” Phoenix added. 

“What do you mean Y/n’s pregnant!?” Hangman asked, standing there with wide eyes and a confused expression. Bradley didn’t respond, he simply turned on his heels and continued on his way, carrying you over to the admin building on base to get you checked out. 

“Do I need to have the sex education talk with you Seresin?” Phoenix teased. “Did your parents never give you the birds and the bees talk?” Jake just sent her a look. 

“You fucking knew didnt you?” He called Phoenix on her cool calm and collected manor. Something was up. 

“Only for like twenty more minutes than you.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Take a picture, it’ll last long.” You pouted from your position on the hospital bed, hooked up to a heart rate monitor. Bradley sat beside you, hand in yours as he just stared at you. Trying to get a read on how you were actually feeling because he knew you weren’t telling him the truth. 

“Woah, that was incredibly rude, Mrs Bradshaw.” Bradley teased as he let go of your hand, leaning back in the chair he sat perched in. stretching his arms up over his head, enough so that the bottom of his shirt pulled up, exposing his lower abdomen for a second. An incredible sight. “I'm just doing what any good husband would do, you know, making sure your health is in top priority.” 

“I'm A Personal Training Instructor for the United States Navy.” You reminded your husband, deadpanning him as you swirled your palm across your stomach. Stupid hospital gown covering your small bump. “Uncle Sam pays me to make sure you keep your health in tip top shape, it's not the other way around.” Bradley sent you a childish lok as his snickered back at you as you stuck your tongue out at him. “Listen, I’m fine, I'm just not used to my equilibrium being so off, I got up too quick and lost my balance, I'm fine.” 

“Why don't we let the doctor be the judge of that?” Bradley sighed, leaning forward as he rose from his seat to kiss your cheek. You just accepted the loving gesture as he cupped your cheeks, swiping the pad of his thumb across your cheek. “I just worry about you, because I love you and if anything ever happened to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for not doing enough when I could have.” 

“Good thing I love you more huh?” You cooed, watching as Bradley sat back down as Doctor Richard’s entered the room. 

“That my dear, is not possible.” Rooster just managed to get his reply in before Doctor Richards smiled. 

“Well the good thing is there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with bubs from the ultrasound.” She explained as she read through your chart. “But it seems as though you’re experiencing some bouts of low blood pressure Mrs Bradshaw.” 

“Low blood pressure?” Bradley questioned. “That can just happen? Y/n doesn’t have low blood pressure?” He was right, you didn’t, but you seemed to have it now. 

“I can assure you Mr. Bradshaw it’s a very common occurrence during the first twenty four weeks of pregnancy, I wouldn’t be too alarmed as long as you manage it.” Doctor Richards addressed you as you sat up a little straighter in your bed. 

“How would you like me to do that Doc?” You asked with a sigh, it wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy being pregnant. You did and you were so excited for your little one to arrive. What was annoying though was the fact you had been told to slow down, take things easy, enjoy the time you had with your baby. You were naturally a physically active person. Slowing down just wasn’t in your DNA. 

“Take it easy. Try to slow down a little? I understand you’re a PTI? Perhaps avoiding strenuous activity for the time being will help.” Doctor Richards explained. “Try to avoid making sudden movements, like standing up too quickly. It shouldn’t be a long term thing but for now? Monitor your systems, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated to increase your blood volume.” 

“Aye aye captain.” You groaned, saluting Dr. Richards as you slumped a little. Rooster caught onto your bad mood instantly, deciding to take over the conversation for you. 

“We’ll do our best Doc, thanks for checking up on her.” 

“Anytime—I’ll have your charts done up and send a discharge notice to the ladies at Reception.” She explained before leaving the room, giving you and Bradley a moment alone. He was silent as you walked Ike’s at him. Expecting him to say he told you so. 

“You feelings alright?” He asked softly. 

“I’m fine—just need a moment to truly process that my career is over.” You groaned, lying back as you faught of tears, it was the hormones, but not really. You just knew this day was coming. 

“What are you talking about?” Bradley asked, concern lacing his tone of voice as he sat as close to you as he possibly could. “Darlin—?” 

“If I can’t train, I can’t tell others to train. I can’t be a hypocrite.” You explained as tears fell down your cheeks. “I’ll go on maternity leave and lose my strength, my endurance, my body is already changing and I can only imagine what it’ll be like after having this beautiful baby.” You were well aware how crazy you sounded but it’s how you felt. “Bradley, I hope you don’t take this as me not loving every single moment of this because I am—“ You sobbed as Braldey held your hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m just scared of how becoming a mother is gonna affect the career I worked so hard to build.” 

“I understand baby.” Bradley tried his best to console you, he wasn’t going to tell you that none of what you were worried about was going to happen. He knew that there was a possibility it could. It had happened to other women before you and it would certainly happen after. “But if anyone can manage being a wonderful, caring mother and a fierce, incredibly talented career woman it’s you.”

“You think so?” You couldn’t help but to scoff lightly through your tears as you turned your head to look at your husband, so thankful for his every strong presence and support. 

“Honey I know so, we’ll do whatever it takes to get you right back to where you were before this little one came along.” He smiled, helping you sit up. “But let’s focus on you now? Alright, keep that blood pressure from dropping, keep you healthy and happy mama.” 

“Oh god!” You remembered the fact Bradley had mentioned to every single Dagger that you were pregnant. “Oh my god Roo, they’re gonna tackle us!” You leaned forward into your husband's chest as he laughed and kissed the top of your head. “I guess we better get back and get it over with huh?” 

“Yeah, better to rip the Band-Aid off fast than to drag it out.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

By the time you got back to base, the entire Dagger Squad was waiting back in the rec room. When you and Bradley entered cautiously, they all stood up as if they were expecting life altering news. 

“Is everything alright?” Bob asked, you never thought his eyes could get any bigger—but as he looked at you with hope filled eyes, you knew you’d been wrong. 

“Everything’s fine.” You smiled, wrapping your arm around Rooster's torso. Pulling him close as he sighed and filled in the gaps. 

“Mum and Bub are doing well, just got a little low blood pressure to manage but other than that? Everything else seems to be just fine.” Everyone went quiet, all silently thanking the heavens above and those in it that nothing major had occurred. Until Fanboy said what everyone was thinking—

“Can we go back to the part where you’re pregnant and didn’t tell any of us?” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Always have but never hold

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n Chapter six makes it's appearance. I'm once again so thankful for all the love.

warnings: past trauma, anxiety, panic attacks, mentions of sexual interactions, therapy.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Nothing cut through the numbness. It felt like grief all over again. Just this hit Carmy in a completely different way because no one else was feeling what he was feeling. No one else understood. No one else cared. The apartment that beforehand was a safe sanctuary for him. A place where Carmy could finally breathe. Where he could strip away all pretense of composure. Where he was free to crumble. Where you always were. Reaching for him. Holding him. Hugging him. Soothing him. Now it felt like a cage. Like a cruel - in your face. Constantly shouting at Carmen, you fucked it, you fucked it, you fucked it this time.

No matter where Carmen turned, he saw you. The bedroom was still somewhat full of your clothes. There were pieces of your you all around, so the morning when Carmy found that you had left one of your favorite rings behind, one that he had watched you look at for weeks, one that he had bought for you out of one of his first bigger pays, he had slipped it onto his chain. Turning it between his fingers when anxiety struck. Telling himself that you didn't leave it because you hated him; you left it because you were in a rush, and now, once in a while, you remembered it and didn't feel complete.

Carmy had sat in the living room almost every evening, flipping through your books and the old portfolios. Trying to grasp that sense of you. Keep it locked in the apartment; don't let it fade away. Even leaving some books that you usually read open before he dragged himself to the restaurant so that when he returned he would see them like that. Used. And until his brain caught up, a sense of you being there would flood him. A rush of hope would fill him, only to be crushed. Because you weren't there, and the more days went by, the more he doubted you were ever coming home to him.

Were you, by any chance, doing any better? No. Where Carmy struggled with constant glimpses of you, you were crushed by the lack of Carmy around you. While the anger was fresh, it soothed you. That there was no resemblance to him in Copenhagen. That you were miles away. That he didn't know where you went. That you didn't have to fear bumping into him in the street. Until all of that went sour. Until it all left you feeling nothing but alone.

Copenhagen felt as friendless as Chicago, if not more. And you had locked yourself in the restaurant's toilet, sobbing with a palm over your hand. When you realized that it was never about a country or a city. Sure, Chicago wasn't your number-one pick, but it definitely wasn't the worst option. It was not about the apartment or its size. All those things didn't make up a home. Because none of them were meant to last. People moved around constantly. Preferences changed too. It was Carmy who was supposed to be forever. Carmen was your home. No matter the location you were in. Anywhere you went, it would be manageable as long as he was by your side.

After that realization, a second wave of sadness hit. Because now everything in Luca's apartment felt off. Felt so not Carmy-like. It felt wrong being here, hence why you started to barely spend time there. It was too clean. Too put together. You missed your little mess. The mess you made together. Missed the fact that Carmy was storing his denim in the oven, even if you bickered over it. Missed your piles of books or how Carmen looked laying between them. Missed knowing what the nooks and crannies held.

Most nights now, you sneaked out of Luca's embrace. Thankful that you managed to jolt from your sleep without waking him up. Yet feeling guilty that nothing but you was making him so tired. During those nights, the voices in my head barked the loudest. Not good enough. Unlovable. Replaceable.

You hated that even your mind was against you. Altering your memories. Scarring your heart and self-esteem even more deeply. If before you only saw yourself as small. Humiliated over and over again. Yelled till your skin crawled. Spat at and shoved around. Now. Now it was always you walking up the stairs to your apartment. Happy to show off the new project that your professor had approved. Only to open the door to the trail of clothes. Carelessly splattered around the place. Carrying an assent of lustful rush. The dread and denial. Shaky steps as you walked towards the bedroom. Ignoring the obvious. Still childishly trying to convince yourself that the obvious moans were only in your head. But they were not. Because right in the same bed you slept in hours ago, your boyfriend was balls-deep inside a girl you've never seen before. Ezra's face had faded through the years, which your mind used to full advantage. So now, night after night, without even needing to fall asleep, all you saw was Carmen fucking Claire, smiling back at you with a sickly smirk that didn't suit his features. Until you would jolt up, trying to push the image as far away as you could.

"Hi...", Carmen was standing outside the somewhat old building. One hand in the pocket. A hat on his head because he was feeling anxious. Too seen. Too out there. "You don't have to reply", he added shortly after, just as anxiety about not knowing what to say next crept in. "I hope you are safe, amm...", He's been doing this ever since you left. The next morning, he ran out to buy a new phone. Your number was the only thing he cared for. It soothed him in a way. To still somehow have this piece of you. His only chance to reach you. "I'm also sorry, really sorry", he blurted out, brushing his hand over his mouth and feeling the tears pick up slowly. "You call... or write, or anything when you want, yeah?", he said with a voice so small, without a doubt, you'd be able to feel just how lost he was, right? You knew him better than anyone else. "You can call to yell if you want to, just be okay, okay?", Carmy added, taking a sharp breath in, a moment of silence. "I will go now. I'm going to that meeting. You know the one", his voice trailed off, followed by the sound of beeping.

"Here you are. For a second, I thought you fled Copenhagen", you jolted slightly, head immediately turning to the side where the sound came from. The delicate features that Luca carried instantly made you ease up. His hands were full of different plates, and for a split second you wanted to jump up to help, but then you remembered that he was way better at all of this than you would ever be, so you left him to it until he was right by the little table you were seated by.

One thing about Luca's place that you did grow to love was the upper-level balcony. Since his apartment was on the top level, the views were incredible. So full of freedom. Never-ending breeze. You sneaked here often now, even during the night. A blanket in your hand as you cocooned your body in it. Letting the wind carry your thoughts away.

"Is that...", Luca pointed to the sketchbook that rested on the side of the table. Your eyes fell onto the piece of paper as well. Knot instantly tightened in your throat, yet you managed to grog out, "Carmen yeah...".

Luca nodded softly. No big reaction followed suit; no disappointed remarks. In a way, that's why you loved Luca so much. His first reaction was never to judge or put you down and make you feel small. Most times he didn't agree, but he never put himself in a position where he would try to make it seem that his opinion in some way was more important or more right. Luca wanted to understand and help you understand where all of it was coming from.

So you weren't too surprised when he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?". You hesitated at first. A logical part of you was aware that you shouldn't be doing this. Drawing someone who you were still upset with. Who had said loud and proud that another woman was the only good thing from his past. But your body, all the little cells, and the soul itself were too firmly intertwined with Carmy's for you to just walk away without turning back.

"I listened to his voicemails and", you sighed, reaching for the sketchbook before handing it to Luca, "Drew him while doing so". You watched the way his gaze danced over the paper. Falling over every inch of it, following every line. A sudden urge to yank it from Luca's grip arose, but you only held onto the sleeves of your shirt tightly. "When was the last time you drew?", Luca asked, his eyes now meeting yours. "Just now", you stated blankly, and Luca instantly rolled his eyes, letting out a low huff, "Okay, smart-ass, I'm being serious".

And you knew that he was. Painting had been a big part of you for as long as you could imagine. At the age of ten, you had gotten into so much trouble when you painted over all the hallway walls while your parents were away. The end outcome wasn't pretty because no one was happy, and well, you got a rather big punishment, but that was the first time you realized that this was the only way you could breathe. Process the world around you. Deal with all the big emotions. "Over a year ago", you muttered, suddenly unable to hold Luca's gaze. "And how does it feel?", "I can still do it", you shrugged your shoulders quickly. Luca let out a low laugh, "And do it really well. Scary, actually, looks like he's looking straight at me".

Your heart skipped a beat at those words. And maybe that's what you wanted to capture. What you had been missing the most. The depth of Carmy's eye. The light blues dancing in them. The way nothing else mattered when he was looking at you. How you always felt safe under his gaze. How loved and seen they made you feel. You bit down on your lip, shutting your eyes tightly and fighting the tears.

"You didn't have a proper conversation with him", Luca's voice was sweet, calm, and all, but his words rubbed a wound too sore still. Too aching still. "Oh, the conversation was more than proper", your tone was much sharper now. Like a bee ready to sting, like a scorpion. Pushed in an unwanted direction. "With him panicking and you deep in your head? Your and my definitions of proper are different, bunny", Luca huffed. You knew this was coming. You could tell from his body language over the past couple of days. He fussed over you for the time being. But now he was upfront, trying to push you to move, not just sit there and dwell. "Don't do this", you muttered, silently pleading with him to drop this for a bit longer. Because you still didn't know. You didn't have an answer as to how your heart was feeling.

"Right, what's the plan then? You will hide in Copenhagen for the rest of your life?", it was a jab, and it definitely hit the mark perfectly.

"If you don't want me here, just say...", you pushed your chair back quickly, feeling the frustration growing within you. Fight or flight mode activating instantly. "You're deflecting", Luca said softly, and this time his velvety voice made you snap. "Fuck you", you hissed, ripping the drawing out of his hands and backing away instantly. "Bunny", and it's so much more like order now. No longer a gentle caress. Making you stager in your steps. "I have to give you a nudge because we both know...", Luca started, but you quickly cut in.

"Know what? That I'll get back with him, just like with Ezra? That I'll forgive a cheater? Will I get my heart broken, and you'll have to be the one to pick up the broken pieces?", now you were less than a step away from Luca's face, finger jabbing in his chest as the words spilled out of your mouth. You wanted him to fight back, to get mad, but instead, he just wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer to his just as the tears spilled over your face.

"Well, I'm still Carmen; I talked about my brother and his addiction and all that, but...", those meetings were exhausting. Truly. Leaving Carmen barely functioning after. But he still went. He listened at first. To everyone. To their stories. Pain. Losses. It didn't drown out his own pain. No, it stayed the same, but he managed to talk about Mikey, but he stopped midway because ripping these wounds open was so painful. Too painful, and he always imagined he wouldn't be alone.

"I always thought that the first time I would come here, I would have my girlfriend...my... my girl, with me", Carmen said, swallowing thickly. "She was there when I got the call. She...", he shook his head, "I don't even remember how those days went. She fed me, she showed me, and she helped my family plan it all. Well, she almost did it all herself because of my family." Flashes of you dipping in and out of the family house filled his mind. Carmen rarely thought of that day. He wanted his mind to destroy whatever it was. His mother screamed. Richie was trying to calm her down. Sugar sobbed while begging Richie to be more gentle, and Carmy just sat there. He remembers how his mom threw the flowers you bought for the grave at him, or maybe at you. But you stepped in, right in front of him. Water and petals hitting your chest. A shiver ran down his back.

"She gave up her life to move here, and I never told her what it meant for me", Carmen quickly tightened his fist at the anxiety. "My family loved Claire... Claire is not my girlfriend", he added quickly, almost in a defensive manner, "I grew up with all the Claire so pretty now; you should be with her; she would be so good for you. I... Had never been good enough for them, and I just...", he stuttered, "When I saw her now, I was like, what if this is the only way to bring my family back? Finally, do something and make them all happy?", Carmy quickly ran a hand over his face. His palms were sweaty. He felt those same tingles running through his body. "But it felt so wrong, so... like a ghost from the past suffocating me, and in revisiting that, I... lost the most important thing in my life". Biting his lips, Carmen tried to look straight again. The weight of those words leaving his mouth stung and he sure was not prepared for it.

You wanted to stay at the apartment. The outburst of emotions still hung heavily on your shoulders, but Luca was going back to the bakery, and he was determined to drag you out of the house. Even if you stayed there for five minutes, it still meant at least a solid four minutes of walking outside. His arm was draped over your shoulders. One of his AirPods was in his ear, the other in yours, as you listened to one of the old playlists you two had made together. Luca convinced you to see your old therapist once more. "At least a couple of times", he had reasoned, "Till you sort through everything that's going on in here right now", he had pointed to your temple. You agreed because putting your mental state on his shoulders was just too much. Luca already had to deal with your nightmares. Not to mention the outbursts like today.

You were a second away from asking him if he'd need your help around the back or if you'd be able to just eat whatever Chris decided to place in front of you when your phone rang. You stopped instantly. Your eyes darted up to Luca. You weren't sure what you were silently asking of him, but you were more than thankful when he reached into your back pocket and pulled your phone out. "Unknown number", Luca muttered, watching your face pale. Your heart sank instantly. What if this is the hospital? What number was called when they found Mikey? Have they found Carmen? You placed your hand on Luck's chest, steadying yourself. One of his arms wrapped instantly around your back as he pressed the green button. The cursing on the other side filled your ears, and you instantly closed your eyes.

"Hello", Luca said, but it felt like the caller didn't even listen. "I just quit", the voice said, and your head instantly jarred towards the phone. "I quit, so did Marcus, and... Wait... Sorry...Must have", you quickly snatched the phone from Luca's hand. "Sydney?", you asked wearingly; you must have forgotten to put her phone number into yours. "Yeah, it's me, and Marcus is here", you heard a distant hello that made you smile weakly. "What's going on? What happened?", you asked, hearing a deep sigh leaving Suddenly lips, before she muttered something to Marcus, "It's insane here without you. Carmy is an absolute piece of shit".

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @nishinoyahhh @thewulf @shewasthelimit @chatitajens @azxulaa @hidingfromtex @randomhoex @hopplessdreamer @lostinheavensworld @jackierose902109 @gallaghrh @gabbycoady13 @harrysmatcha @lady-bellyn @lovejoyenjoyer @infinitelycharmed23 @royalestrellas @hanula18 @thoughtfulmoonchild911 @buckys-winter-child @arieltwvdtohamflash @simsiddy @yezzyyae @hidingfromtex @toptierbunny @rooster-bradshaws @literatureluater @hellokitty4eva

[luffyvace]

Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~

Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!

this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man

Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?

he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥

now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕

he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️

HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍

Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away

He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P

his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.

literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)

now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣

his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗

ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.

He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌

he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭

WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR

(yes it’s canon 😞)

you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way

Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)

his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️

whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋

undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’

Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂

dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???

I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)

i love how shameless this guy is

why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿

ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

[all4aoki]

  ⊹ 𝓢END 𝓐 𝓢IGNAL ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

you hated change, but maybe it was necessary for your happiness . . . enha x f!reader (pjs focused), poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 13.1k , warnings! my poor attempts of writing angst, cheating / talks of cheating, mentions of kidnapping & death, rushed writing, me guessing stuff about being an idol, not proofread

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©all4aoki, 2024

Something was wrong. Not the kind of wrong that settled heavily in your gut and told you that you needed to remove yourself from the situation, but the kind that started as a small voice in your brain and morphed into something you thought about constantly. Which was strange to you. Promotions for Border: Day One were finally coming to an end and the preparations for your group’s next mini album had already begun, so while the stress of your job hadn’t fully gone away, you didn’t think it was the cause of your intuition going haywire

That feeling would only rear its ugly head where it was unwanted when you would watch them interact. Normally, when the male members of Enhypen spent time together, love was the only emotion you could sense. Fondness. Joy. Whatever you wanted to call it, it didn’t make you feel uneasy. But recently, when you saw Sunghoon and Jay together, a part of your mind related them to a ticking time bomb. The reason was unclear, but the way their eyes shined with a kind of passive aggressiveness when the other wasn’t looking and the fact that they had been only communicating with each other in short sentences since a week ago screamed unhealthy to you. After all, you had never seen them engage in what you assumed to be a fight. And since you were such a good girlfriend, you were going to stay out of it until Sunghoon said something to you.

Besides, resolving tensions was Jungwon’s job.

“I think you’ve developed a staring habit,” Sunoo said from beside you on the couch. You blinked away from the video game the eldest four of the group were playing on the TV.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What’d you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” He continued eating the ice cream that had somehow found its way into your fridge one day. “I swear every time I look at you now you’re spacing out.”

Well, to be fair, you were trying to put the pieces of some kind of puzzle together. “I was just thinking–” you hesitated, but quickly concluded that if anyone would shut down your worries speedily, it would be Sunoo. You lowered your voice to a whisper, “Do you think Hoon and Jay-oppa are mad at each other?”

The two boys in question were sitting on the floor, a large amount of distance and Heeseung between them. 

Sunoo didn’t say anything.

“Mmm… you know something, don’t you?” you giggled as he shrugged and took another bite from his dessert. “Tell meee,” you whined, throwing yourself onto Sunoo’s lap only for him to (somewhat) gently push you off and onto the floor. 

The thud of your landing made seven other heads snap in your direction. 

“Sunoo-ah did you just push my girlfriend off the couch?” Sunghoon asked, getting up quickly and taking the short five steps to your spot on the floor. You sat up easily and rubbed the back of your head to make sure nothing hurt.

The rest of your members were unsurprised when Sunghoon and you announced your relationship. Maybe you two hadn’t done the best job of hiding it, but you still thought that with the debut, they wouldn’t have noticed anything. Turns out the way Sunghoon looked at you, as if you hung the moon and stars, and how you had barely let him out of your grasp were clear indicators of your relationship. So after a few weeks of being together, and when you were sure you were never getting away from the honeymoon phase, the two of you had sat the rest of the members down only to be met with: “Oh we already knew.”

Sunghoon kneeled down next to you, one of his hands coming up to meet yours on the back of your head and the other wrapping around your waist. His fingers rubbed against the silky strands of your hair as he felt for any kind of forming bump.

“He didn’t push me that hard,” you reassured. “I’m fine. Promise.”

You tried to disregard the concerned looks and Heeseung’s request for he himself to look at your head. In an attempt to distract yourself, you took Sunghoon’s hand from the back of your hand and tenderly placed a kiss on his palm, then on the corner of his mouth after shifting onto your knees.

“M’ not a baby,” you said, ruffling his hair before sliding over to the base of the couch. Your feet crossed under you as you settled between Jay and Sunoo, who was still unphased on the sofa. 

Riki scoffed from his spot on the furniture, in the far right corner, “Get a room!” 

Sunghoon responded with a roll of his eyes. 

He followed you to your new position on the floor, pushing at your legs so he could lay on his back between them. You complied, dropping them straight and letting him rest his head back on your stomach. Sunghoon at some point had gotten his controller back as well, and for a few minutes, there was silence apart from the shooting and violence of the video game.

The game was quick to become boring and you reached behind you, hand blindly searching for your phone. Thankfully, Sunoo placed the device right in your grip before you would’ve had to ask Sunghoon to sit up for you to look. 

“Thanks, Sun,” you whispered to him and he smiled softly at you. When you turned your eyes away from him, glancing to your right, there was Jay. His jaw was set in a form that looked too tense to be comfortable and his knuckles white from holding onto the controller with a hand that was probably too tight. 

Yeah, something was definitely wrong.

You felt something shift against your stomach and you looked down to realize that Sunghoon had been looking up at you. He had been watching you study one of his best friends who was sitting a little too close to you for him to not feel a bit antsy. A small grumble left him with a choice of words you couldn’t comprehend and then Sunghoon was forcing one of your hands into his luxurious-feeling locks. Out of instinct, you ran your fingernails along his scalp in an attempt to calm him down. 

You had kept your interference between the male members and their conflicts to a minimum, in firm belief that they were mature enough to sort out their differences, but there was a part of you that kept tempting you to do something this time. 

Rarely did they need help, and you figured that they wouldn’t ask for it unless it was absolutely necessary. In fact, they honestly might not ask for help at all, pride and ego being traits that were still overwhelmingly strong in their personalities. And while you didn’t want them to be angry at you for trying to extend an assisting hand, you didn’t want the people you loved fighting each other either. So, maybe you didn’t have to do anything. Asking wouldn’t hurt. That way, you would at least be aware of whatever was going on between the two boys. Then you would be able to decide what to do. 

Nodding a bit to yourself, you twisted your head to be directed towards the elder male on your right. “After this round can you help me make some food?”

Jay’s eyes snapped over to you, and you were surprised at the sharpness they held. Was he angry at you too? Your confidence in your plan faltered at his reaction to your request. Subconsciously, you shrunk away from him, your eyes suddenly unable to meet his for more than a few seconds. 

“Sorry, I was just hungry.”

Jay blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side as he went back to the game, “Of course, we can make something. Don’t apologize if you’re hungry.” Somehow that made you feel worse. 

Sunghoon moved against your belly again, “Let me make something for you.” Normally, you would’ve gladly accepted the offer, but you felt as if you needed to talk to Jay. It was weird, you’d never played the mediator before. Usually, you would stand off to the side and watch everything unfold, only interjecting when necessary, but maybe it was time that you began trying to help your loved ones in more ways than one. 

You smiled down at Sunghoon, his head pressing into the soft skin of your stomach as he craned his head back at you. “Thank you, Hoon, but I want an edible meal.”

“Yah, I can cook!” he pouted and you cooed at the cute expression. Your thumbs ran over the smooth expanse of his cheeks and he leaned into your touch.

Prickles of heat on the right side of your body began to rise and at the feeling, you glanced over your shoulder to find Jay staring at the two of you. 

“Jay-oppa can make me something, Hoon.”

“Yeah, Hoon, let Jay-oppa make YN-ie something.” You didn’t like how he emphasized the two boys’ names. Especially with the way Sunghoon sharply tilted his head towards his elder. If you could’ve seen his eyes, you figured they would be burning with some kind of anger considering the way his muscles tensed.

For a moment, the only sounds that met your ears were the quiet conversation the other members were having, the TV in the background, and the video Sunoo was watching as he undoubtedly eavesdropped on the three of you.

“Mmm, okay,” Sunghoon sighed as he turned away from Jay, facing the television and placing his elbows on the outside of your legs. Harshly, he pulled your limbs closer to his sides with his arms and you almost yelped at the way your legs slid on the ground. 

His thumbs rattled the buttons and joysticks with an alarming speed, “As long as I get to feed you when he’s done cooking, princess.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion and maybe a hint of disgust at his words. Feed you? What was he saying? Sunghoon was well aware of your love for your independence, and while you’d slowly been allowing him to take care of you in ways that you previously hadn’t wanted, he should’ve known that you could do basic human functions. 

“What’re you…” you softly muttered to yourself, but ultimately gave up on your point. You cleared your throat quickly, shifting your attention back to Jay. “Do we still have stuff for bibimbap?”

“I don’t want bibimbap!” Jake cried from the other side of the room.

You laughed, “Then you don’t have to have any!”

“Yeah, I’m just making food for YN-ie and me to eat,” Jay added. 

“And me,” Sunghoon said. You mentally cursed him. Of course, you loved the boy more than anything else in the world, but there shouldn’t have been a reason as to why he wasn’t letting you spend one-on-one time with another member. Especially not Jay. 

The elder had been there for you as soon as Part 2 of I-Land began, almost acting as some sort of caregiver. Brother definitely wasn’t the right word, he was always too nice and a tad bit too nervous to engage in any sort of sibling-like banter. Friend for sure. He was always the one checking up on you after those first weeks, making sure you were tending to your needs and doing it for you if you admitted you hadn’t.

If Sunghoon should’ve had the most trust in any of the members for your well-being, it should’ve been Jay. But now he was engaging himself in every instance of alone time you had with Jay.

Your fingers stroked his face again, relishing in the warmth that radiated from his body, “Didn’t you just eat?”

He chuckled, “I’m always hungry.”

“Don’t they need you here to play the game?”

“I’m sure they’ll manage.” So he wasn’t going to relent this time. “It’s starting to sound like you don’t want to spend time with me!” Sunghoon teased playfully. You did your best to act like he hadn’t caught your plan of action to solve this cold war-esque fight.

Suddenly, your face felt warm. “Hoon, that’s not true. I don’t want you to overeat–”

“Wow,” Sunoo said from above you. 

You glared at him from over your shoulder, “Hush.” The boy simply shrugged. “You know what, I actually can’t wait.” As gently and lovingly as you could manage, you lifted Sunghoon’s upper body off of you and laid him back on the ground as you stood up. 

You offered a hand to Jay. 

His dark eyes flickered between your outstretched palm and your boyfriend that was spread out on the tile, Sunghoon’s own eyes studying you as if you were some sort of goddess. It looked like he was thinking about something, but before you could try to deduce what, Jay’s rough palm slid into your hand as he got up. 

Even when you tried to tug away, his fingers held your smaller ones tight.

“I was asking for your controller,” you muttered, taking the item from his other hand and tossing it to Sunoo. “Here, Sun, you play.”

Sunoo whined a bit, but made room in his hands for the device, balancing what little remained of his ice cream against the object. Sunghoon nudged your ankle with his hand and you instantly found him.

A soft smile was swift to grace your lips and his small grin matched yours.

“I love you,” you said and Jay moved behind you, pulling you towards the kitchen. A chorus of “I love you too” followed, Sunghoon yelling how your words were meant for him being the last thing you heard before you were left in mediocre silence with the older male in the kitchen.

For a while, nothing was said. Your throat felt clogged every time you thought you were finally going to say something. It was almost embarrassing how you couldn’t find the comfort that was usually there when you spoke to Jay. It had been routine for everything to be so easy between the two of you and you weren’t sure when that’d changed.

Silently, you slid into one of the chairs at the island that Jay was now using to prep your requested dish.

“Do you want to help?” he asked, beginning to prepare the rice. You shrugged and pulled the cutting board that he’d gotten out to your side of the island. 

“If you need it so bad, sure.” He glanced at you from over his shoulder. Snarkily, you smiled at him. And as he got the package of shredded carrots out of the fridge, you began cutting up the cucumber.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows and leaned on the counter, “I’m not sure if I like that cutting technique you’re using.”

“I thought you wanted me to help,” you said, popping one of the slices into your mouth and chewing.

Jay slipped the cutting board away from you as quickly as you had taken it, “Sorry Kendall Jenner, but I don’t want you losing a finger.” You pouted at his words, face scrunching up as he voiced his playful doubt. 

“Hey…” you whined as he gently took hold of the wrist of the hand that was holding the knife, taking the tool from you. “I’m never gonna get better at cooking if you don’t let me try!”

He chuckled at your reaction, chopping up the rest of the vegetable and handing you a few pieces as he did so. You ate them, but not without frowning at him as he gave you each one. 

“Don’t need you hurting yourself though,” he explained. “And when I teach you to cook we would be making a nice meal. Something they would serve at an expensive restaurant.” 

The thought of him instructing you, getting closer than he normally would, whispering to you as you both shared laughter made your face flush. The alarming sensation of butterflies in your gut suddenly rushed over you. It was a feeling that you only got with Sunghoon. A feeling that you were only supposed to get with Sunghoon. You brushed it off. You were thinking about Sunghoon, that was probably why you suddenly felt that good kind of nervousness. The one that was one of the many reasons that made you understand why being in love was so wonderful. Something that made life so enjoyable. 

You did your best to smile, pushing down whatever had found its way into your gut. 

“I don’t think I have the patience to work on something for that long.”

“Well, you do it every day. As your job, so the least you could do is spend some time with me.” One more cucumber. You took it halfheartedly. 

“Yeah… I’m sorry I haven’t been hanging out with you guys as often as I used to but I’ve been trying to–”

“Be with Sunghoon,” Jay finished for you. As a response, you nodded. The timer for the rice went off, and Jay slowly spun around to get the food. The smell of comfort filled the space, and you sunk a bit into the hardness of your seat. “I just can’t believe that he thinks it’s okay for you to be with him 24/7 because you’re…”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Dating?”

“Yeah,” Jay agreed right away. You watched as he retrieved two bowls from one of the cupboards and began assembling the bibimbap for the two of you. After those words, it was easy to piece together that he was angry at Sunghoon because you’d been spending all of your free time with him. And honestly, that made you angry.

Of course you were going to spend time with your boyfriend. While you still wanted to keep your friendships with the rest of the members strong, you were going to prioritize the boy you were in love with because, well, you were in love with him. 

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “Is that why you’ve been so passive-aggressive with him lately?” Jay said nothing as he moved to the end of the table to retrieve two pairs of chopsticks. 

“Don’t worry about whatever small fight we’re having,” Jay said, giving you a close-lipped smile as he handed you the bowl of food that you’d been supposedly craving. “We’ll get past it soon. We’re just like brothers… and it’s a small misunderstanding.”

Gently, you blew on the food before you brought a mouthful to your lips, humming as you chewed. He was probably right. The boys had had small arguments and miscommunications before, and it never took them extremely long before they made up. They loved each other too much to fight for that long. And they probably already had separation anxiety from each other, like you did. You always felt guilty whenever you were mad at one of the other members. At first, anger would drive your actions and thoughts, but the culpability would never be far behind, and you were never able to hold a grudge or stay in a fight for more than two or three days.

Maybe you forgave people too easily, or maybe you just had the blessing of empathy.

“Well,” you started, stirring your food around with the metal chopsticks. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Jay grinned at you, his mouth full of the hot bibimbap. 

“Just don’t forget about the rest of us, okay?” He reached over and instinctively, you leaned back, dodging his touch. “Relax, you have sauce on your mouth,” he laughed and you tried to do the same as he wiped the corner of your lips with his thumb. Something in your chest sped up. 

Your shocked expression must’ve been extremely amusing to the older male because as he slipped the thumb with the gochujang sauce into his mouth, he couldn’t help but laugh again.

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay.

While he almost always knew what he was talking about, somehow having just a bit more wisdom than the rest of you and not hesitating to use it, apparently, he had no idea that this whole scenario was worse for Sunghoon. You had left the subject of his growing tensions with Jay to rest, figuring that you were doing the right thing by letting them fix things on their own. Especially after your interaction with Jay in the kitchen. 

You had slowly begun returning to your old ways of spreading your time out equally with all of the members. Eating breakfast with all of them instead of hole-ing yourself up in your room with Sunghoon and going out with the members one-on-one. Not to say you were ignoring them in the first place, you still had been with them for the majority of your days, but having the opportunity to connect with them on a personal level again was making a part of you feel whole again. It was weird to think about. Your heart was already so full and content when you were with Sunghoon, and you knew that being with him was more than enough for your happiness. But that happiness increased tenfold with the rediscovered relationships of you and your other members.

You hadn’t even noticed that you’d somewhat been isolating yourself with Sunghoon.

But apparently, this sudden change in your everyday routine was enough to send him over the edge. 

The two of you had yet to sleep in separate beds since you got together, and it had become a nightly ritual for the two of you to get ready for bed together. It was an intimate way to end the day and being with him calmed all of the worries and stresses that you’d dealt with for all of the hours that you’d been awake. Laughing with him was so easy and it was adorable the way he’d sit on the closed toilet while waiting for you to finish your skincare. 

And as you both entered the bathroom, you found yourself repeating that same phrase that had become your mantra for the past week: something was wrong. 

He was quiet as you slipped on your headband and he stayed that way as you brushed your teeth, waiting for you to spit in the sink so he would have the space to do so as well. You studied him as you stood straight, left hand holding your hair back so you wouldn’t get any toothpaste in it. Sunghoon’s face was devoid of any emotion. Blank. But his eyes held a kind of annoyance that you’d rarely noticed before. 

His movements were sharp with agitation as he turned the water on to wash the brushes, and you didn’t miss how he bit the inside of his cheek. You gaped for words. The last thing you wanted to do was make him even angrier, and considering you had yet to see Sunghoon this angry without him even saying anything, you weren’t quite sure how to comfort him. You weren’t that great at comforting people in the first place. Once again, you never really knew what to say, but that was what worked so well with you and Sunghoon. He never knew what to say either. You would hold each other and only share words to explain after your severe emotions had passed like the worst of a storm. 

This didn’t feel like that. It was almost as if he was waiting for you to say something, to provoke him. He’d been bottling up his frustration with the rest of your members for so long that he was ready to explode. And at that moment, you knew he wanted to explode at you.

“What’s wrong?” you finally asked, voice meek. No eye contact was made as Sunghoon sighed deeply, not even bothering to lift his head in your direction. 

“Nothing.”

You wanted to groan, to roll your eyes at his stubbornness, but you reminded yourself to have patience or nothing good would come from this conversation. “That’s not true, Hoon… I love you and if something’s bothering you–”

“Do you?” You looked at the back of his head, face scrunching a bit in confusion. Before you could say anything he continued, “Still love me?”

“What?!” you half laughed, which you immediately regretted. “What is this nonsense? Why would I not love you, Hoon.”

His hands on the sink shook a bit and he closed his fingers around the edge to stop the jittering. “Why have you been– have been avoiding me all week?” 

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you instantly denied. “We’ve been doing everything we normally do–”

“No–” he cut himself off, clearing something in his throat and for a split second it almost sounded like he was choking down a sob. “We haven’t had a meal with just each other once. I don’t think we’ve had a conversation for this long since Sunday and do you remember that coffee date we were supposed to go on yesterday?”

Your heart dropped and the tears came almost instantaneously.

How could you have forgotten that? 

“That’s what I thought,” Sunghoon laughed, sounding watery as he finally pushed himself away from the sink to face you. Your stomach was made of wet sand and you couldn’t bear to look at him. “And you skipped it–” he was blinking harshly now, one of his index fingers pointing at you. “To watch a movie with Jay.”

You were crying now, tears making little streams down your face and you reached for your boyfriend. He pushed your hands away quickly.

“Hoon at least let me apologize!”

“No! You don’t even deserve to be the one crying right now!” He was shouting now and the loud sounds made you shrink back from him. He didn’t even acknowledge it. “I’m the one that deserves to be upset! The guy that has a crush on my girlfriend convinced her that she was neglecting everyone else when she was just neglecting me!”

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay. He had lied to you.

“Sunghoon I didn’t know, please–” You tried to take hold of his face again but he caught your hands, refusing your touch again. “Jay doesn’t like me! And even if he did, I love you. Not him–”

“It doesn’t matter!” Your wrists shook with his movements. “It’s too late. I was stupid to think that I would get to have you to myself when you act like that all the time.”

“Act like what?” you spat at him. Your faces were inches apart now and you could see that a few trails of water had slipped from Sunghoon’s own beautiful eyes too. The urge to wipe them away and kiss his face almost overpowered your growing exasperation. 

“Like you’re their girlfriend too! Like you would choose them over me!–”

“Sunghoon stop it!” 

You tugged your hands away from him, fed up with how he wasn’t actually listening to what you had to say. An uncomfortable silence found its way into the bathroom like a ghost. Only then did you realize how quiet the rest of the dorm was too. Which meant that everyone had probably heard you and Sunghoon fighting. Great.

He huffed, irritation clear even in the small action.

“Have some respect.”

His shoulder hit yours as he pushed past you to the bathroom exit, swinging the door open without a second glance back. You could only listen as his footsteps made their way down the hallway and a door slammed loudly after they’d slowed to a stop. 

You needed to get out.

In a much quieter fashion than Sunghoon, you slipped out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the exit. And to your confirmation, Heeseung, Jay, and Jake were sitting in the living room, not muttering a single word as you stormed past the room to the door. You didn’t even feel their eyes on you as you tossed on a random pair of slippers and tugged on a coat that probably wasn’t even yours. 

“YN-ah, wait!–” one of them finally called, although you weren’t sure which one it was since you were outside in the cold before they could say anything else.

Something inside of you must’ve disconnected as you walked down the driveway and along the street, not sure where you were going, but it felt so good to be by yourself for once that you didn’t really care. But as you left the neighborhood and entered the portion of Seoul that was maybe a few miles away from the dorm, you were back to thinking.

And the question that stood out among the rest was: why was your best never enough? Why didn’t people understand that you were trying?

Then the sobbing started. Your hands gingerly found their way to your elbows as you hugged yourself to try and find some comfort in the cold weather. Part of your brain tried to alert you that you were an idol out in public with no bodyguards, crying and out after 9 p.m. on a Saturday, but your heart and eyes didn’t listen. Your steps had decreased in speed and you were now shuffling along the sidewalk.

Exhaustion wasn’t far behind you. The strength of which you’d been pouring your feelings out had taken a toll on you, and as you hiccuped for the final time, a headache settled in. And after that, reality followed. 

Everyone was probably worried about where you had run off to. Considering you didn’t have a phone, they had no way of reaching you until you decided you wanted to go back to the dorm. Which, honestly, you didn’t have a problem with. While being comforted was always welcome and a majority of the time necessary to truly calm you down, you realized that this moment to yourself was another thing that’d been missing from your life for weeks. Your brain finally had a moment of silence for itself, and as the late January wind blew across your maskless face, the coolness was refreshing. 

Alone time had always been important for you. For your social battery to recover, for you to feel like yourself, and for you to not lose your wits. But in this lifestyle you’d chosen, it was rare for you to be left by yourself. Your members often understood that you needed a second to breathe to function properly, but for the past week, you’d been so busy trying to give your attention back to them that you’d been ignoring your own needs.

If only you’d recognized that, maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten about your date with Sunghoon. Or you could’ve realized how everyone else was feeling. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a metal bench, devoid of any people. Your feet were tired as you brought yourself over to the seat and plopped down, muscles relaxing instantly at the chance for rest. The fresh air was doing wonders for you too. Focus was seeping back into your head and with each inhale and exhale, your headache began to dissipate. Gently, you closed your eyes, not even bothering to worry about if anyone saw you. A freshly debuted idol who already had a decent amount of fame, with dried tears on her cheeks sitting in the middle of a random strip of stores.

Naturally, after you’d taken yet another moment to cool off and regather your emotions, the first thing you thought about was Sunghoon. 

Making up with him was the first thing you needed to do when you got back. Apologize for the mistake you’d made and hope that he would forgive you before you both went to bed angry at each other, which was something your mother had warned you to never do in a relationship. You knew that he was an understanding person who was truly sensitive deep down. Especially when it came to people he loved. Sunghoon’s first impulse was to protect. And that applied to both those he cared about and himself. 

His lashing out at you was just one of his ingrained reactions to defend himself from hurt. And you hated that you had made him feel that way. You’d hurt him. 

You also knew that you both were very mature people. After all, you had to be considering the industry you were in. Talking to him was often all he asked for. He didn’t need gifts or ornate gestures as an apology, just a way to speak about things so you both could understand what had happened and how to properly deal with it in the future. 

This pondering had strangely made you feel a bit better. A small lightness in your chest made you feel hopeful that this would all be nothing but a story to laugh at within the next few days. Or probably weeks. This first fight was something you needed to be careful with until both you and Sunghoon had wholly moved on from it.

You had no idea how long you’d been gone, but you didn’t want to head back anytime soon. Nervousness or anxiety about seeing your boyfriend again wasn’t what kept you perched on the chilly iron of the bench. Rather, the opportunity for you to reconnect with yourself and be at peace– 

“YN!”

That would’ve never lasted that long considering how you might as well have just run away.

“YN,” Jay repeated as the sound of his voice got closer. He sounded out of breath. Slowly, you opened your eyes back up. 

Puffs of air left his mouth in clouds of steam, thanks to the below-freezing weather, and he had to take a moment to presumably calm his racing heart before he was in your personal space. His arms gripped you tightly, fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he buried his face in your neck. The angle was awkward, considering how he was bent over strangely to embrace your sitting figure, but he ignored the slight stiffness that came with it to hold you. To relieve himself that you were there and you were okay.

The best you could do with your arms pinned to your sides was clumsily pat his right hip. 

When he pulled away, hands shifting to grip your biceps almost painfully, the worry in his deep brown eyes had become something more displeased. You were already predicting what scolding would leave him.

“What were you thinking?!” You simply blinked at him, vision flicking around his face, taking in his pink cheeks and slightly runny nose and irises filled with intenseness. Your lack of response only spurred him on further, “Leaving without saying where you were going, without any of us for protection, without saying if you’re okay–”

“I’m fine.”

“God, you have everyone worried sick! Jungwon-ie had to call Sejin-hyung and now, everyone’s out looking for you… You have to be more careful, you could’ve gotten mobbed or– or kidnapped or even killed!–”

“You sound like my father,” you pouted. He huffed out what must’ve been a fake laugh as he turned his head to the side for a split second before taking the spot next to you on the bench. “And I don’t think anyone is trying to kill me.”

Jay looked back at your face, “I want to kill you right now.” He pulled you into his side, tugging your head to the space between his neck and shoulder. “Don’t do that again or we’re gonna have to lock you up or something.”

His bad joke drew a small giggle out of you. You felt his tautness lessen at the sensation. 

“I’m serious, YN,” he said and his tone reflected his words almost a little too perfectly. “We heard you fight with Sunghoon and you were clearly upset–”

“I’m fine,” you repeated, fighting against his hold as you tilted your head back to look at his face. “I just couldn’t stay in that house.”

He frowned. “You could’ve talked to us though,” he said, and the hurt he spoke with made your heart clench for the millionth time that night with contrition. “You can trust us with anything. The last thing I want you to do is feel uncomfortable around me.”

You decided to ignore the change of subjects. 

“I don’t want to sound selfish, but I really couldn’t.” You sighed, weight releasing from your shoulders as you cuddled back into Jay’s side. His chin rested on your hair. “Not when you guys were what we fought about.”

A beat of silence. You were really getting tired of that.

“Sunghoon-ie’s a wreck,” Jay finally said.

You didn’t know what to say, “I am too.” At some point, your breathing pace had synced with his and you enjoyed the sensation of being so connected to someone. “I hate fighting with him more than anything, it's just– I don’t know, it just feels so wrong… Does that make sense?”

Jay nodded against the top of your head. 

“I know the feeling.”

You hesitated before continuing, “Hoon said something…” You trailed off and Jay repositioned himself again, leaning the two of you further back on the bench. “Never mind.”

“What?” he pushed. 

“He said something about you liking me.” And with that, the pressure of agitation grew in the body against you once more. Cautiously, you drew yourself away from Jay. He didn’t fight you.

Jay’s face was stoic and you struggled to read whatever emotion he was experiencing. “When I told you you didn’t have anything to worry about, I meant it,” he said plainly. Your nose wrinkled and your eyebrows drew together. 

“What?–” But Jay was pulling out his phone, dialing what you assumed to be your manager and therefore, a car to take you both back to the dorm. You didn’t stop him, tired of the night you’d had and the wide range of emotions you’d been put through. 

In mere seconds a black SUV pulled up in the street beside you. Jay got up first, offering you a hand and you took it, him helping you off the seat and over to the vehicle. He opened the door for you, and you muttered a small “Thanks” as you clambered inside.

The cushioned seat was welcome after sitting on the hard material of the bench for so long, but the way that no one said anything in the short ride back to the house wasn’t. That alone time and silence that you’d longed for earlier was now making you twitch with discomfort. Where was the Jay that joked with you? The one that made you feel so much like yourself? In the pale moonlight that shined in through the car windows, he looked princely despite the dark circles under his eyes and ruffled hair. He didn’t move his eyes from watching the scenery pass by outside and you concluded that he was in deep thought about something.

As the car pulled into the driveway, your manager in the front seat gave you one final warning about leaving the house unsupervised and left the conversation with a good night. You said nothing. Opening the car door with more strength than you probably should’ve you hoped out and slammed it behind you, not waiting for Jay as you stomped up to the front door. You weren’t sure when your anger had returned, but you took it out on the keypad of the dorm, Jay coming to watch you mess up the code twice due to your annoyance which only shortened your self-restraint. After the second time, he reached around you to enter the four numbers and opened the entry for you. 

Six other bodies rushed to you when you walked past the threshold and your hands shot up to try and block your body from the impending embrace. The last thing you wanted at that moment was to be touched by more than one pair of hands. Thankfully, Jay came to your rescue for one last time that night.

“Give her some space,” he said, shooing Jungwon away from your left side. “Let her go see Sunghoon-ie.” The whisper was meant for just Heeseung, who’d been the one standing closest to the hallway that contained all of the bedrooms. 

The eldest nodded. “He’s in your room,” Heeseung said.

“Thank you,” you offered delicately. “Good night.”

“Night.” He shuffled to the side and you walked past them without a second thought, the only thing on your mind being your boyfriend.

The sharpness of their gaze on your back prickled your nerves as you reached for the doorknob. Composure was something that lacked as you creaked the door open just enough for you to slip through, shutting it behind you swiftly. 

Sunghoon was curled up on your bed, facing the wall and with the way his shoulders were heaving, you could tell he was crying. He looked like a small child. It made your heart ache. 

You toed out of your shoes, having forgotten to take them off at the front door and softly, you tip-toed over to the bed. 

“Hi, Hoon,” you said as gently as possible, sliding your right hand over his arm as you used the other to set yourself down on the small space left on the mattress. 

His head snapped to look at you and to your confirmation, his eyes were red, tears still brimming on his waterline. 

“YN-ie…” Your other hand found the side of his head as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. His bottom lip quivered, “I’m sorry.” And then it was his turn to sob as he pushed his head against your stomach. Sunghoon echoed the words again. Then again. Then again, like a mantra. All you could do was curl over him, pressing your lips against the back of his neck and whisper reassurances against his skin. 

“Breathe, Hoon,” you said, trying to get him to settle down. “Breathe with me. Please.” And then you were breathing in slowly, counting to four, and then exhaling in the same way. On your fourth deep breath, your palm on his back rose in time with your own lungs. Eventually, his whimpers stopped.

Your crewneck was wet now, but you didn’t care. Having him here with you, in your arms again as you comforted him was the only thing you could concentrate on. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna come back,” Sunghoon finally said. 

You cooed a bit at his words, “Nothing would stop me from coming back to you.”

His eyes peeked up at you from his place on your lap. And then in a blink, his forehead was against yours, his hands pulling you closer to his upright body, chest against chest. Sunghoon opened his mouth, getting ready to apologize. You kissed him before he could.

You were desperate as you both continued to pull each other as close as physically possible, tongues intertwining as a way of saying: “I’m here”. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him, there was no way you two could make up correctly if you did so. You pulled away to look at his puffy face, eyes and all. Your thumbs stroked the area under his lashes, wiping off the tears.

“Don’t you dare apologize.”

“I want to, though,” he said quickly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you or– or said any of those words because I didn’t mean them and they didn’t help anything–”

“I forgive you,” you interjected. “I’m at fault too. I’m sorry that I didn’t notice how you were feeling, and I’m sorry that I forgot our date.” You both exchanged a weak laugh. “I didn’t mean to ignore you and I promise and I swear and I vow, cross my heart, all of it… That I won’t do it again.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sunghoon protested, but he was smiling softly. You adopted the same expression. “But I know that you’re going to do everything in your power to try and not to.”

You nodded furiously, “You’re going to get sick of me asking if you’ve gotten enough attention.”

He chuckled, “I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping you from spending time with the others. And I’m sorry that I made you feel bad about it.”

“We’re both trying to figure out relationships,” you said. “And how to balance them with our friendships… But we’re gonna work it out together.” Sunghoon stared at you intently, his whole attention on you as you spoke. “We aren’t done talking about this, but I am not mad at you.”

He cut you off, “I love you.” That last piece of concern in your emotions eased.

“I love you.”

The next morning you and Sunghoon had spent quite a bit of time talking everything through. Him sharing his worries about his possessiveness and how to get better with it and you sharing how his words did hurt you, but understanding his point of view and how you weren’t completely innocent in the situation. By the time the group was ready to leave for Enhypen’s schedules for the day, you and Sunghoon had successfully made up from your first fight, and the rest of the members (apart from Jay) had given you a small scolding on how much you’d scared them the previous night.

The rest of the day was easy. Finally, you’d regained your attentiveness to the group’s preparation for both the last of the award show performances as well as already the next upcoming mini album. You’d felt like yourself again as you laughed with Sangmi and Riki during your dance practices and gladly took the spot next to Sunghoon during the meeting you’d had that day to discuss future content. It was the recurring theme for the week, you finding yourself again, but it was welcome. Strangely enough, you hadn’t even realized that you’d become the persona of “Just Sunghoon’s Girlfriend”. Fitting that side of you while maintaining all of your own hobbies and relationships was something you could now feel yourself getting better at. And it only made you more and more joyful. 

Sunghoon was happier as well. It was easy to tell with how he was reaching for time with the others now, and with his growing ability to share his troubles with you. Despite the changes in your relationship with him, for the better, many of your old habits stayed. You both still went on multiple dates a week (at least one of them being at a café), spent the nights together, slept on each other during car rides… the list went on. So it wasn’t abnormal for the members to find you both curled around each other on the couch when your list of to-dos for the day had been completed.

You were relaxed into Sunghoon’s side, legs thrown over his lap and talking his ear off about some cartoon you used to watch when you were little that he’d never heard of when Jay came into the living room. 

“YN-ie,” he said, interrupting your chattering and causing both you and your boyfriend to look over in his direction. Jay was standing next to the front door, parka on and a black beanie hiding the majority of his still bleach-blond hair. “D’you still wanna learn how to cook?”

You nudged Sunghoon’s head with your own and peered over at him. He was still smiling, not a hint of discomfort on his face as he bumped your head back. 

“Go,” he whispered to you. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jay-hyung, you're doing me a favor,” Sunghoon suddenly spoke up. “Maybe by the time you’re back she’ll be tired of talking about Gravity Falls.”

You gasped and smacked Sunghoon’s chest lightly, “I’d never get tired of talking about Gravity Falls.” 

He grabbed the hand that had just hit him and stuck his tongue out at you. You used your free hand to try and swat at his face but he just barely dodged you, swiftly taking hold of your right hand too. Sunghoon puckered his lips at you, “Kiss.”

“No please?”

“Please?–”

“Oh my god, get a room,” Jay said from his spot by the entryway. At his words, you leaned over and gave Sunghoon a quick peck before you were clambering off his lap, Sunghoon yelling out in faux pain as you did so. 

“Is the car already here?” you asked as you approached Jay, him already holding a coat open for you to put on. 

You turned so your back was facing him, and he helped you pull on the outerwear. “Yeah, so say your goodbyes.”

“Does this cooking involve me never seeing anyone again?” you joked, tugging your hair free from the space between the coat and your neck. Both of the boys laughed. 

“Depends on how long it takes us to get these groceries,” Jay responded, opening the door for you as you pulled on your shoes. 

You sighed, “Okay, okay. Bye, Hoon! Love you!”

The phrase was repeated back to you as you and Jay exited the dorms. The ride to the store market Jay had picked out was shorter than you thought it’d be and before the two of you could get too deep into your conversation, he was already helping you out of the car and starting along the vendors, bodyguard following closely behind the two of you. 

“What are we making?” you questioned after passing by a vendor that was making Odeng for a couple that was wearing matching jackets. The sight made you wonder if that’s what you and Jay looked like–a couple.

He interrupted your thoughts, “Atlang.” You furrowed your eyebrows as your mouth dropped open a bit.

“Fish egg soup?”

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, barely moving his eyes to look at you. “You’re acting like you don’t breathe and sleep sushi.”

He had a point there.

“So I’m guessing we’re here for the fish eggs,” you continued.

“The myeongnan–” you rolled your eyes a little at his fancy terms, “and the gochujang paste. We have the vegetables and spices at home–”

“On your left!”

You were in Jay’s arms before you could process something whirring past you in a blur. His jacket was plush and cold between your fingers as you gripped onto him tightly and you were grateful that you hadn’t tripped over your own feet and taken you both down to the cement. A dryness caught in your throat when you recognized how close Jay’s face was to yours. Your brain felt empty as you stared at his warm brown eyes that seemed strong and ever-growing–his attention focused on the scooter that had almost just run you over. 

That sudden adrenaline that always came after a close call never appeared in your veins, though. Because the only thing you could sense as you pulled him closer, hanging on tight and taking in the woody perfume that he’d been using lately, was calmness. Centered. Security. Surprise, at the fact that you were feeling these things. 

“Idiot. Who rides a scooter in the middle of a marketplace?– God…” And then he was looking at you and that calmness was replaced with a rush of dopamine and the adrenaline you’d been waiting for. “Are you okay?”

Your tongue barely darted out to wet your lips as you stared at his own. 

“Mhm,” you softly hummed and you were back on your feet before you could finish the sentence and process what was happening. 

“Good, let’s go.”

What? At his change in attitude, you felt out of breath. Nonetheless, you followed him. 

The rest of the shopping trip flew by. As the two (three, bodyguard– duh) of you strolled along the stands and vendors, searching for what you needed, you couldn’t help but get distracted by some of the items. A necklace that you didn’t have the money with you to buy, a scarf that you would’ve loved to give your sister for Christmas, and some delicious-looking tteokbokki that Jay wouldn't let you get.

“You’ll ruin your dinner!”

“Please! I’m starving.”

“That’ll make this meal that much better!” 

Begrudgingly, you’d given up on the street food and thankfully, not much longer after that, you’d found the last thing you were looking for. With the staff that’d come with you holding the bags, you whispered to Jay about how your feet hurt.

He squatted down almost instantly. Grinning widely, you’d climbed onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck. But then his hands curled around the backs of your thighs and it was all you could think about. For the walk back to the car, his fingers digging into your skin and making you feel warm. In an attempt to hide your heated face, you hid it in his neck and somehow, Jay didn’t complain about how your breath tickled his skin. 

Your mouth was so close to him. You wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. If he would like it if you kissed that birthmark that was just under his jaw. That mark was so adorable–

Once again, your feet were being placed back on the pavement without you noticing it. Your hands moved slowly away from Jay’s neck, down his back a bit and then they were retracted immediately after you processed how inappropriate it was for you to be touching him like that. Especially when you had a boyfriend. Jay didn’t seem like he cared though, and if he did, he didn’t say anything. 

He still opened the car door for you, helped you in, and made you laugh on the car ride back. Easing the thoughts you had of whether he saw how you’d been acting or not. It was almost happening unconsciously, the thoughts and longings that you usually only had with Sunghoon. And the guilt you felt about it was heavy, considering how Sunghoon had shown how bothered he was about you acting like a girlfriend to the other members. To your shared friends. 

Everyone had apparently headed off to their respective rooms by the time you and Jay re-entered the dorms. Night had barely fallen so you figured that they were all taking a moment for themselves before you and Jay called them out for dinner. After removing your outerwear, Jay and you headed into the kitchen, him carrying the groceries as you slid along the tile in your fuzzy socks.

“Haul time!” you cheered, jumping around the edge of the island so you were on the side that was with the stove. 

Jay chuckled, “First…” he took something out of the bag. “The gochujang paste!” You let out a small ‘yay’ as you took the container out of his hands, placing it on the counter. “And lastly…” he revealed the package of myeongnan!”

“Whoo!”

“‘Whoo’ is absolutely right,” he said as he joined you on your side of the room, opening the fridge to store the marinated pollack roe. “Everyone should be grateful that we’re making them such a high-quality meal tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll just watch you make it.”

Jokingly, you moved away from him, hands gliding behind you on the cool surface of the island. As expected, Jay’s fingers circled your wrists before you could get too far and you were being pulled back to him.

“Nice try,” he laughed and you frowned. “You’re a big girl and you can help me make dinner.”

Well, you weren’t going to argue with that. Especially when his voice sounded a bit deeper than it usually did. 

Nervously, you separated your touch from his to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “Fair enough. What do we start with?”

“Washing your hands,” Jay said, tilting his head back towards the sink as he moved to rummage through the cupboards for the utensils you’d be needing. 

You nodded, “Makes sense.” 

The hot water was borderline scalding on your hands, but at that point, you were willing to try anything to remove the electricity that Jay left behind on your skin.

Cooking when you were doing it right, and with someone who you enjoyed spending time with, was surprisingly easy. You had thought that it would require more precision, exact measurements and stirs and timeframes, but Jay made everything look so natural. He told you that almost everything could be done with your instincts and a little bit of guidance from the recipe and he was absolutely right. It was effortless to relax after you gained a bit more confidence in your movements and the jokes and conversation flowed as a harmony with the quiet background music Jay had turned on at some point.

Everything was done cooking sooner than you’d thought it’d be and you were almost disappointed that your time alone with the older male was almost up for the night. Trying not to dwell on the collapse of contentedness, you continued slowly chopping up the last of the vegetables that would go with the altang. 

“Ah,” Jay said from behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see him approaching you. “That was the other thing I wanted to fix.”

“What part of me are you trying to fix?” You laughed.

He smiled as he shifted so he was standing directly behind you, “Your cutting skills.”

The hardness of his chest pressed against your back and your nerves seized and you dropped the knife onto the cutting board at the sudden closeness. Frozen was the only way to describe your movements as Jay silently reached his arm across your body, one hand delicately taking hold of your right hand to turn it over while the other retrieved the knife. Only his soft breathing was against your ears as he placed the handle back into your grasp, his fingers arranging your own to hold the blade in a certain way. 

The rise and fall of your lungs slowed. You felt dizzy, like his nose brushing against the shell of your ear as he peered over your smaller frame was putting some kind of spell on you. Focusing on the task at hand felt impossible as he somehow got even closer, arms practically wrapped around you while he adjusted your other hand. His fingers looked so large compared to your own and the sight of him effortlessly bending your knuckles so you wouldn’t cut your fingertips off only intensified that dizziness.

Maybe this was too inappropriate for a girl who already had a boyfriend but at that moment you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your love for Sunghoon was so strong and you thought that there was no possible way it could’ve been matched, but there was something else growing in your heart that made those conclusions falter. 

Jay had always been there for you, had always been the one to take care of you, and was the one noticing the things that no one else did. You’d always appreciated him, been grateful for the way he treated you like a princess, but you couldn’t help but recall recent times when he’d been a bit too assertive over others when it came to you. Him calling off the other boys when you ran out of water during practice, saying you would share with him. Him sending a glare to anyone who’d enter the beauty room while you were getting ready with him being the one keeping you company. Him indirectly trying to get you to spend less time with Sunghoon and more with the other members. Including Jay himself. Little things, but now, in this intimate position you couldn’t help but think they had a different meaning. 

Overwhelmed, you set the knife down, Jay loosening his grip on you to let you do so safely. 

“Jay…” Your whisper could barely be heard over the hushed music, but he still hummed after you said his name. Hip brushing against his, you carefully turned around. Jay’s hands didn’t move from around you, his hands resting on the edge of the counter. You were caged in against him. 

His eyes were so pretty. You couldn’t read the look in them, your brain too cloudy and his intense stare almost made it impossible to maintain eye contact. But you might as well have been hypnotized. The brown of irises was so warm that you could only think of chocolate and how badly you wanted to drown in them.

You weren’t sure who kissed who first. 

Jay could’ve leaned down or you could’ve risen on your toes but it didn’t matter because his lips were finally moving against your own. 

It didn’t take long for his mouth to crash against yours and you think you might’ve whimpered as his tongue found its way between your lips. Subconsciously, her hands roamed under the hem of his shirt, discovering the firm muscles of his lower back as his tongue explored your mouth. It was a kiss that was meant for lovers behind locked doors, not in a dimly lit kitchen where anyone could walk in. Jay deepened the kiss even more, which you didn’t think was possible, and only then did you realize what you were doing. 

Your hands that had been lovingly holding him to you were abruptly pulling him away from you, knowing that now he should be as far away from you as possible. Jay stumbled back at the tugging against his white t-shirt, hitting the edge of the stove and causing the pans placed on the border to clatter back towards the middle. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” you gasped, hand shooting up to your mouth. 

Jay shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I’m okay. Are you alright–”

Now your own head was moving side to side hard enough to cause a dull pain behind your skull. A tear fell despite you not even realizing that they had begun to well up. 

The guilt that was creeping up inside of you made you feel physically ill, unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You felt horrible, you were horrible. You were a horrible girlfriend. God, how could you keep making mistakes like this when Sunghoon…

“Sunghoon…” you sobbed, hand against your mouth shaking as you processed what you’d just done. Jay was instantly back at your side. 

Softly, he took your hand in his and moved it away from your face, holding it in his. “Shh– shh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We can talk to him and explain–”

“Explain what?” you cried in a manner that was perhaps a bit too loud. “That I– I– cheated on him?” You couldn’t get enough air in your chest. You were going to puke. There was a steady thumping under your palm. 

Jay lifted your hand to his chest, letting it rest on his heart and feel the slower pace at which he was breathing. “You need to breathe, YN, you’re having a panic attack.” 

Closing your eyes, you let a trembling breath escape your lips. And as Jay’s chest rose, you took a deep breath and exhaled as he did so. Repeating the process was easy, but opening your eyes to Jay’s saddened face made your heartbreak and guilt build up all over again.

“I–”

“You guys okay? Thought I heard something break,” Heeseung said from the doorway. Neither of you said anything, Jay just kept looking at you as you turned your vision to the floor. 

Clenching your fist tightly, you let the pain of your fingernails digging into your skin distract you from the pain in your heart and you cleared your throat. “Yeah, we’re fine. Dinner’s ready.”

You pushed away from Jay, wiping the water from your cheeks. Keeping your head down, you brushed past Heeseung, beelining for the bathroom you used most often since you figured that was the only place where no one would question why you were crying. You burst into the room quickly, shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible.

And for the next hour, you laid on the bathroom floor, the coolness of the tile on your face keeping you present. Keeping you thinking about how you hated yourself for kissing Jay. Hated yourself for liking it and loving him.

All of the progress you’d made in your relationship with Sunghoon had been ruined in under five minutes. All of the self-love that was beginning to return to you had been ripped away the moment you’d decided to kiss Jay back. And if the avoiding you’d done with Sunghoon before you both got together was bad, the way you were avoiding Jay was borderline criminal. You’d thrown yourself fully into your relationship with Sunghoon, making up your mind about how if you gave him more love it would cancel out the tiny mistake you’d made. The huge mistake you’d made. 

It had only been two days, but the time that’d passed felt like an eternity. There was no way you’d be able to keep your actions with Jay a secret for much longer. You told Sunghoon everything. He was your best friend, your person, and you rarely kept things from him. Usually when you messed up, you and he would be able to open up and share how you were feeling and how to make it better. But you knew that if he ever found out about this, he would never forgive you. It was wrong to keep something like this from him, but you didn’t want to lose him. 

But you didn’t want to lose Jay in the process either. 

And that was exactly what was happening. You liked to think that you took your time to process things and think your options through when really, you would put decisions off to avoid the consequences of them. Ignoring Jay almost every time he tried to speak with you and never allowing yourself to be alone in a room with him was hurting him. You could tell that much. With the way the shine that was in his eyes when he would see you would dim when you would pretend like you didn’t hear him. The way you’d stop coming to him for help with things. You knew you were making him feel unneeded and unwanted, but you couldn’t dare pick between the two boys.

Because you were in love with both of them.

The thought still didn’t seem morally correct to you, you weren’t sure if it would ever feel socially acceptable either, but it was true. Your coming to terms with your feelings for Jay were much different than your experience with the ones for Sunghoon. You weren’t able to embrace them fully in fear that both boys would leave you if you played your cards wrong or said something that would set them both off. And it didn’t help that they both had possessive tendencies. 

So you turned to Sangmi, one of the only people you could trust with this information. 

“You like both of them?” she’d asked, removing the sheet mask that you’d both been doing in the soft lighting of your guys’ room. 

You nodded, “Love. I think I love both of them.”

She pursed her lips and puffed her cheeks out, focused on folding her mask. After a moment, she’d thrown it into the trash can, almost missing so the skincare hung over one of the sides of the gray plastic. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe. I can’t say I’ve ever been in that position–”

“Just tell me what you would do.”

“But I can’t,” she had sighed. “Because we’re each our own person. Just because I would do something one way doesn’t mean you should do it as well.”

You whined and slumped over onto her lap. In a comforting manner, she threaded her fingers through your hair, scratching her nails lightly over your scalp. “I’m stuck! I don’t think I would be able to live without either of them…”

“First of all, you definitely would–” Your groan of annoyance cut her off and she giggled. “Second of all, from what you’ve told me, they love you too.” Her voice had gotten quiet. You straightened your spine back to an upright position and locked eyes with your best friend. 

“You think so?”

Sangmi had hummed in agreement, “Talk with them. If they love you as much as you love them, then they would be willing to do anything to be with you. To make you happy.”

“Even sharing,” you sighed as you flipped around and rested back down on her folded legs. “That’s so much to ask of a man, though. One can’t even stay loyal to one girl most of the time.” Your hands flopped to your side. “How am I supposed to ask for so much from them? One girl and two guys? No way that could ever last.”

“Not with that mindset,” Sangmi laughed. Her face grew pensive and while you waited for her to continue, you stared at the white ceiling. “I think that you’ve always made love out to be trickier than it actually is–”

“But sometimes–”

“Sometimes there are exceptions, and this whole kiss thing with Jay-oppa might be one of them, but YN-ie–let yourself go for once.”

You looked down at your hands, folded over your chest, rising and falling as you breathed. 

“I just feel like every time I do that I mess up.”

“You’re human. Humans mess up all the time but you’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t take a risk.”

You bit your lip, “Maybe you’re right.”

Sangmi shrugged, “I tend to be.”

“Or maybe you’re just feeding my delusions– Hey!” You squealed as she threw one of her pillows at your face. 

“I’m never giving you advice again,” she said, sounding like a stressed mother. You giggled. 

And now, swallowing your pride, your feet padded against the smooth tile of the living room as you approached Sunghoon after claiming that you were going to use the bathroom. When really, you’d spent a good four minutes in the space mentally preparing yourself for this difficult conversation. 

“Hey,” you said, a smile on your face as you found your spot right next to him on the couch again. 

Sunghoon turned off his phone, watching you approach him with his own dazed expression. “Hi. How was the bathroom?”

“As awesome as ever.” You sounded nervous. Nervous was an understatement. You were pretty sure you were shaking. “Um… I actually needed to talk to you about something that’s been– um, bothering me for a couple of days.”

Sunghoon’s eyebrows knitted together and he nodded slowly, “Yeah, what is it?”

“So…” you started, shifting onto your knees so you were closer to eye-level with him. “I’m not really sure how to say this but um… the other night, when Jay-oppa and I were cooking we… um…”

Sunghoon tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes a bit at you. “You what?”

“We kissed,” Jay said from the doorway, entering the conversation just like he did the night Sunghoon and you were speaking of. 

Afraid, you glanced back at Jay, who looked angry, then at Sunghoon, whose face was blank. Your heart dropped. Their reactions were exactly the opposite of what you’d been hoping for. But they were exactly what you’d been expecting. 

You waited for one of them to yell at you. To call you a horrible name and say you were disgusting. For Sunghoon to break up with you, for Jay to say he regretted ever kissing you, but neither of them said anything. And that only scared you more, but you had no idea what to say.

Finally, Sunghoon clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and his eyes zoned in on Jay. Then he was standing up and your vision followed him, uncertain of what he was going to do. 

“God, man, what do I have to do to get you to back the fuck off from my girlfriend?” He laughed bitterly and you felt frozen once again, just like you do in every conflicting situation. 

Jay scoffed, eyes shooting back and forth between you and Sunghoon, “She kissed me back. And you know, I think she liked it.” The last part was a whisper and you couldn’t help but let your gaze fall to the floor as both boys let the sight of you looking pitiful on the couch be the center of their attention. 

Embarrassed, you nodded. 

“Well, then what do we do?” Sunghoon said, his anger creeping into his tone. “Because you’re clearly trying to ruin my relationship with her–”

“YN’s not completely innocent in this either!”

“I’m right here!” you yelled, fed up with how neither you nor Jay were refusing to take responsibility for the situation and for how Sunghoon wasn’t accepting that you cheated on him. “And if anything, this whole thing is my fault. Not yours.” You looked at Sunghoon as you also stood up, pushing away from the couch. “Or yours,” you said, eyeing Jay. 

You blinked back tears, trying to remain strong.

“Because– because I’m in love with you both. And I feel disgusting saying it because you both deserve someone that will love you both how you deserve and–” Sunghoon’s arms were around you before you could finish your sentence. The only words you could repeat were “I’m sorry” as Sunghoon soothingly hushed you, hand resting at the back of your neck as he held you close to his chest. 

You felt another pair of hands travel around your sides as Jay wrapped around you both, effectively surrounding you from every free space. Sunghoon’s cheek fell onto your head and Jay’s chin ended up on your left shoulder. Their scents, the warmth of their skin, and the feeling of their heartbeats was enough to ground you again and you found yourself calming down as you weakly encircled Sunghoon’s middle with your arms.

“Okay, I’m okay,” you said, getting a bit overwhelmed with the tightness you were enveloped in. Both of the boys backed away hesitatingly, and you took a spot on the couch again. Sunghoon followed suit quickly as Jay stood next to your side in front of the furniture. 

“Sunghoon-ah, I’m not trying to destroy your relationship with YN-ie,” Jay confessed. “You’re important to her and… and you’re important to me too.” 

With a confirming nod, Sunghoon accepted the elder’s words. 

“I’m in love with her too,” Jay added and his words made your heart practically stop. Your eyes felt a bit too wide to be normal and he stared down at you with a small smile on his lips. “And I want what’s best for her and clearly, that’s you.”

“We shouldn’t have kissed, Hoon,” you joined in, turning to face your boyfriend. His elbows were resting on his knees as he took in what Jay and you had to say. “And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, and apologizing for not telling you about it right away, and I’m sorry I didn’t say that I was falling in love with Jay sooner because– I love you so so much.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sunghoon admitted after you finished speaking. “I don’t think I’m really that mad, actually just more sad that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.”

Reaching for his left hand, you carefully took it into your own. “You mean so much to me, Hoon. I didn’t want to hurt you–”

“It does hurt,” he said and your bottom lip trembled a bit. “You aren’t forgiven yet, but I’m not going to break up with you.”

Hope lit through you, you could practically feel it seeping out of your pores. “Really?”

“I love you,” he said simply. “And I know you love me. But I know that you love Jay too–”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you said, squeezing his hand tightly. “I’ll do whatever makes both of you happy.” Glancing back and forth between them, you continued, “If that’s not being with either of you, so be it–”

“Absolutely not,” Jay laughed. “Do you know how hard Hoon here had to work to get you to date him?”

Sunghoon sighed, “That’s not the point.” You stifle a giggle at the irritated look he sent Jay. “Let me finish. It’s going to take a lot of work, for me and Jay-hyung, but I’m okay with… I don’t wanna say sharing, that sounds wrong, but, if being with both of us is what you want…” he cocked his head to the side, eyes swimming with a varied mix of emotions. “Then I’m okay with it.”

“So what… You’re suggesting I date both of you?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing. Peering over your shoulder, you locked eyes with Jay, who also looked like he was in deep thought. “If you want to, Jay-oppa.”

A few seconds passed before Jay answered, “We’ll have to take things super slow. And Sunghoon-ie and I are gonna have to figure out how to get over our jealousy, but yeah. Let’s do it.”

You didn’t even try to hide how overjoyed you were, a grin proudly present on your face as you practically jumped on Sunghoon, peppering kisses all over his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you so so so so so–”

“Okay– okay! Calm down, princess, I love you too,” he chuckled. You pulled away, gazing sweetly at his eyes before leaning in to kiss him. Nothing deep, just a long peck on the lips before you withdrew from Sunghoon and turned to Jay. 

“C’mere,” you said, reaching for him. He complied, smirking a bit as you tugged his face to yours, giving Jay his own peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Jay gave you a peck on your cheek, “I love you.”

“Okay, that’s enough for now,” Sunghoon said. His hands drew you back to his chest and tucking your head under his chin protectively. 

“I don’t get to join in on the cuddles?”

“No. Just me. Remember you guys need to make it up to me for kissing before we agreed on… whatever this is.” Sunghoon’s hair was silk-like between your fingers as you twisted your arm up so you could play with his locks. 

Laughing, you patted the spot next to you on the couch. “You can sit next to us, Jay. I’ll play with your hair too if you want me to.”

Jay seemed to brighten again. He was leading your hand to his head as he laid down on the cushions, head falling on your lap. Sunghoon complained a bit, but after a few kisses, he finally settled in. 

You knew you all had a lot of work to do, but with both of them laughing and being there with you, that feeling of fullness–of being complete, you’d been searching for for so long returned. Permanently. Happiness would be easier every day as long as you had both of your boys by your side, just like this.

마리셀의 노트 , thanks to miss lana del rey for giving me the motivation to finish this😓 I’ll try to be faster with writing in the future but I am in school so that’s my first priority!🌷🩷 please don’t be afraid to ask me stuff / interact with me! and thank you for all of the support🥰💕💋

[lovequartz]

where our fingers meet.

✵ pairing: town doctor!wonwoo x fiancee!reader

✵ genre: fluff!

✵ warnings: none

✵ word count: 701

✵ crush me in your arms give me a lovelier kiss, lover

✵ notes: yeah i am back with more of this couple <3 i literally cannot stop writing for them

the week before the wedding is stressful, and not for you but for your mother and sister. you are still trapped in somewhat of a daze, you can’t believe you’re getting married let alone who you’re getting married to. your sweet sweet wonwoo, you’re sure you must’ve dreamed him up for it is madness that a man so perfect exists. in thinking of your wonderful fiance you’re awash with a sense of longing that sits heavy in your chest. 

it’s been a little less than a week since you’ve seen him, due to all the planning madness your mother and sister have swept you up into. not to mention the fact that wonwoo had left town for a stretch to visit his parents and travel back with them so they could attend the ceremony. you wish you could’ve gone with him, to have a bit of privacy between the two of you before you were to become spouses. 

silas has been lovely as he usually is, but you suspect that he’s coming to understand that you won’t always be with him so he has been making sure to take up as much of your attention as he can. which is why he currently lays sprawled across your lap while he doodles on the edges of his math notebook, and the accompanying math textbook sits abandoned across the room near your bed. 

you run your fingers through his hair for a few passes, “i thought you promised your mother that you would have a page done by bedtime?” 

silas hums, you feel it against your thighs where his upper body is positioned, and he puts his pencil down and lays his head against his open notebook, “too sleepy,” he murmurs.

your hand moves from his hair to rub his back gently, it was just about his bedtime so the sleepiness was understandable. you leave him be and when you’re certain he’s asleep is when you tuck him into your futon, making sure the blanket covers him. gathering his things, you stack them neatly into a pile and set them near the door. 

as your nephew sleeps you busy yourself with getting ready for bed yourself, changing your day dress with your sleep gown, and running a comb through your hair. 

a few minutes into brushing you hear a faint knocking at your window, its seems too quiet to be actual knocking but doesn’t quite sound like the branches that sometimes scratch at it. you slowly make your way over, and try to peer out the spaces in the slats. after not really seeing anything, you carefully slide the window open just a crack and the sight you’re met with makes you gasp. 

“wonwoo?” you say in disbelief, staring wide eyed at your fiance that stands just outside. 

he gives you a shy smile, and rubs his hands together nervously, “sorry for the abrupt and unannounced visit.” 

you shake your head, still dizzy with disbelief. “what are you doing here?” 

“i wanted to,” he pauses as if embarrassed by his actions, and you notice how red his ears are, “see you.” 

your face heats up at his admission, and you stare silently at him for a few moments before telling him to stay put. assuring him that you would be right there.

you grab a shawl from your closet and throw it over your shoulders before quietly making your way out of your bedroom and out of the house. your slippers kick up loose rocks as you hurriedly round the corner to where your fiance waits. 

he smiles when he sees you, holding out a hand that you take as soon as you’re close enough. both your fingers weaving together seamlessly. 

“is everything okay?” you ask breathlessly, still a bit worried over this unannounced middle of the night appearance. 

his free hand comes up to cradle your cheek, and you melt as his thumb brushes across your skin. “everything is fine,” he replies, “i fear that a week without you is far too long for me to bear.” 

“wonwoo…” you mumbled, flustered over his words, “you could’ve called.”

he shakes his head with a grin, “and miss this lovely sight before me? never.”

notes: okay my lovelies thank you as always for reading and there will most likely be more of this couple from me! let me know what you thought <3

[formulauno98]

Could you do Toto Wolff with wife reader? She always wrote those little notes on post-its and leaving them at his office whenever she was there, so that he will get a little endorphin boost when stress/working. I don't know if it make sense. Add something you'd like though. Thanks :))

Thank you for your message, I love this prompt, it got me inspired to write again! So without further ado, here is Post-Its, a short and fluffy fic, just for you.

Post-Its

Word Count: 800

Warnings: Pure, unadulterated fluff

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction.

“Remember not to throw your headphones today.”

Toto smiled at the looped handwriting on the pink Post-it note he’d found hidden between his iPad and the keyboard. His angry outbursts were at this point somewhat expected but after a particularly tough season, he’d struggled to keep a lid on it and had been smashing his headphones virtually every race weekend. After a frank conversation with the Mercedes-Benz board, he knew he had to reign it in.

That’s where you had come in, leaving Post-it notes to remind him throughout the race weekend not to make a complete fool of himself. In a nice way, of course. Your husband was a passionate man and you knew that he only acted this way from a place of caring too much. Not the biggest fault in the world.

As Toto settled down for the morning to reply to a few emails before quali got underway, he grinned, carefully putting the Post-it in his cardholder, trying to keep the sentiment in mind for later and tomorrow’s race. He’d barely started typing his first reply when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.” His deep voice boomed, hoping that whoever it was was not going to take up too much of his time. Spare time was precious during race weekends and he was seldom left alone as Team Principal.

Luckily it was just his assistant coming in with coffee and a small box.

“Good morning boss,” she said, setting his coffee and the box down in front of him.

“Morning,” he said wearily, curious what was in the box, “Thank you but what is this?”

She smiled, “You’ve had a special delivery.”

Toto sat upright, he didn’t normally get deliveries to the motorhome, “From who?”

His assistant grinned more, “A special lady. I’ll leave you to open it but let me know if you need anything.”

As she made her way out of the room, Toto picked up the box in his large hands, wondering what it could be. You had already slipped a Post-it note into his iPad case, so knowing you it was probably a gag gift set of indestructible headphones.

Carefully undoing it, he was pleasantly surprised to instead find a small stack of Post-its, concertinaed together. Inspecting the first one, there was the familiar looped handwriting.

“Good luck and don’t fuck it up.”

He smiled, rifling through a few more motivational quotes, a lewd drawing (of course you couldn’t resist) and one final message, scrawled in classic toddler handwriting.

“I love you, Daddy.” 

Toto melted at the delivery and knew that whatever happened this weekend he had you and your young son to come home to. Carefully gathering the Post-its up, he added them to his cardholder alongside the one he’d found earlier.

—

A few hours later, Toto was in the garage and things were not going well. The engineering team had gotten the set-up completely wrong and George was knocked out in Q1, Lewis barely scraping through into Q2. He tried to remember the positive messages from the morning and willed himself to keep his temper in check, his nostrils flaring dangerously as he looked around the garage.

Breathing deeply, he put his hand in the pocket of his Mercedes raincoat, knowing that he couldn’t throw anything from there. Strangely, he didn’t remember having anything in his pockets as he’d just had his uniform dry-cleaned so when he found a folded-up piece of paper, he pulled it out, curious.

It was of course another Post-it.

“Darth Toto returns duh duh duh. Don’t go to the dark side.”

He smiled, you were truly ridiculous, always calling him Darth Toto when he wore his long hooded raincoat. No one else ever dared to.

From his right shoulder came the curious voice of his reserve driver, Mick, “What’s that?” he asked, eyeing the Post-it curiously. 

“Oh, just a silly thing from my wife.” Toto said, still slightly grinning, “She writes me these messages on Post-it notes sometimes.”

Mick looked surprised but didn’t question further and Toto felt much better about the situation.

—

It was race day and Toto was in a horrible mood. He had woken up early to pack as he had to leave immediately after the race and was throwing his shoes into his suitcase angrily and haphazardly, knowing that it was virtually pointless as he’d need to repack in a few days anyway.

As he gathered up his toiletries, a small yellow square fell out of his leather toiletry bag, floating to the floor. Bending down to pick it up, he laughed, reading the message.

“Hey handsome, you look good today.”

Once again he shook his head in disbelief, you were unlike anyone he’d ever met. His bad mood evaporated and he carefully put the Post-it note in his cardholder with the others he had collected over the weekend, knowing that whatever happened today he would keep his temper in check, knowing he was going to see you later that evening when he returned home.

[mamisfavmosherz]

Hello. I hope your doing well. I would like to request a Rhea Ripley X Pregnant Reader where reader and Rhea is planning a gender reveal and Choose to do it live on Monday Night Raw as reader is about to take maternity leave and is very emotional cause the wwe has been her dream since she was little girl so she ends up celebrating with the wwe universe and the locker rooms. If not I'll understand. Thanks you 😊

Pairing: Rhea Ripley x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Pregnant Reader, Fluffy

A/n: I'm so sorry this took me so long. My brain was malfunctioning on how to even start this lol. Honestly idek if i like this, but I hope this is somewhat what you wanted! 😭

Masterlist , WWE Masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Big Dreams Let To This

You were in bed with Rhea, facing upwards the back of your head laying on her chest, her hand gently rubbing your belly. You were about 19 weeks pregnant and had just gotten the gender of your baby but had asked your doctor not to tell you, so you had the envelope with the gender on the bedside table. You and Rhea had been cuddling trying to decide how to do this gender reveal. You thought about doing it as a small gathering with both of your families and friends, but that just didn’t feel right for you guys. There was also the fact that all of your friends were wrestle and barely had any time off, Rhea also didn’t have that much time off, and to get both your families here at a time were everyone was free was harder than one would think. You also wanted to include the fans in some way, but you weren’t sure how.

“Well baby why don’t we just do it Monday at Raw ? All of our friends will be there and the show is where your parents live” Rhea suggested a smile on her face before she even said it. Your eyes immediately lit up at the idea. You would have everything you wanted, your friends and family, you would get to do it at a wrestling show, which has been your entire life sense you were a little girl, the people you do this for -other than yourself - the fans, would be there. It was perfect, well almost, there was no way Rhea’s family was gonna be able to make it for Raw in time.

"What about your family ? We can't do this without them... this isn't just about me. It's about us and our family." you said with a small smile on your face, your eyes a little glossy as this perfect idea didn't seem as perfect anymore.

Rhea lightly kissed your head a smile on her face, which made you frown, wondering why she would be smiling right now. "Well, my sweet girl, I already saved them tickets to the show, and their on their way right now. They should be lading tomorrow morning" you eyes lit up like Christmas lights a big smile adorning your face.

Rhea had already planned it out beforehand. She had the idea of doing the gender reveal at Raw for a little while, but she wasn't sure how you would react. Either way, whether that idea ended up happening or you did it another way, she knew the gender reveal was happening this week, so she bought her parents and sister plane tickets to where this week's show was happening and saved them Raw tickets just incase. Her family was gonna ride with you guys and stay at your house for the week either way so no matter your preference, Rhea knew it was going to work out.

You didn't even question her. You were just happy this was gonna happen the way you never ever knew you needed it to happen. You turned your head a little a kissed Rhea softly but passionately. You slowly sperated putting your foreheads together your eyes starting to get teary.

"What's wrong, lovely ?" You softly chuckled and gave her a quick kiss. "These are happy tears. I can't believe this happening"

Next Monday night, you were backstage sitting in the judgments club house. Damian and Dom were sitting beside you, Finn was sitting on the floor stretching, getting ready for his match, which was happening before your announcement. Rhea was making sure both your families were settled before coming back to the clubhouse.

"Fams all good, you guys ready ?" The boys all nodded and stood up, getting their final stretches in before the had to go out there. Rhea went over to you and helped you get up before holding your hand and giving you a quick kiss.

"When the match is over and it's just us in the ring, you can come out, okay ? Not before that, though, please, I don't want you getting hurt, either of you, " Rhea said before bending down and kissing you belly, then kissing your forehead. You smiled and nodded, loving Rhea's caring side. You wished her and the boys good luck before they walked out when their theme song started. You stayed behind in gorilla watching the match and waiting for your que to come out.

The match had been intense, Dom, Damian, and Rhea getting involved when they could without the Ref seeing and helping Finn get the win. Once their song started playing and all four of them stood in the middle of the ring celebrating, you got closer to the curtains, ready to go out there. You were nervous but also very excited.

"Well, well, well, would you look at that ? another win for the judgment day." Rhea said before doing her evil laugh. Some people cheered while others booed. Damian continued saying how everyone needed to Rise for the judgment day, Finn celebrated his win, saying they were the most dominant faction in all of wwe. Dom tried to talk but wasn't able to beacuse of the boos. Rhea shouted into the mic, telling the wwe universe to shut up, not only because of their stupid booing for Dom but also because they had another celebration to be had. At that, the crowd calmed down and started listening.

In that moment, your theme song started blasting, and you came out with a microphone in hand. People started cheering as they hadn't seen you in a while with you being on leave. Rhea sat on the second rope and held your hand, helping you climb in. You smiled at her and walked to the middle of the ring surrounded by your Judgment Day Family. You took a deep breath and listened to people cheering your name, your eyes already watering thanks to those damn hormones.

"I love you guys... I love you and this job so much... which is why I- no, we are here to share some big news with ya'll" you said, holding Rhea's hand.

"This industry has been a big part of my life sense I was little girl, and it will always be a big part of my life and now it's gonna be a big part of our babies life. This is why I wanted to share our babies gender here, surrounded by my family, my friends, you guys, the fans, inside a wwe ring. " Your face was already covered in tears thinking about your baby and how much you're gonna do so they have the best life you can possibly give them. Everyone started cheering just as excited to know the baby's gender as you were.

"Mami... wanna do the honors. " Rhea smiled before walking over to the ropes where the Pyro guys were handing her a remote, which controlled the pryo in the arena. You took a deep breath before everyone started counting down. "3... 2... 1..." Rhea pressed the button and pink Pyro, and confetti started going all around the Arena. You started crying and hugged Rhea, the boys gave you guys a moment before also joining in on the family hug.

After celebrating with the wwe universe you went backstage with Rhea and the boys. Right as you passed through the curtains all your friends were there congratulating you and giving you hugs. This was perfect, all you needed now was to see your family.

"Babe the boys are gonna get changed really quickly and then we can go find our fams and go out for dinner okay?" Rhea said once you were able to get away to a more quite area now that all the congrats had been given. You nodded and gave her a bright smile before waiting for them all to get ready.

Once everyone was ready you all meet with yours and Rheas families for dinner. You all talked and ate for a few hours. There sitting with your family - both blood and soul - you smiled. Your babygirl would be spoiled that for sure, but you wouldn't want it any other way. You were gonna give her the best life and you wouldn't wanna do it with anyone else than the people surrounding you and it's all thanks to a little girl with a big dream of getting to the wwe.

[madelynraemunson]

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)

strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!reader

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI

Chapter 014: The Tap Out

So you finally managed to tear down the walls of Eddie’s cynical heart and steal it… Of course it only makes sense that he returns the favor, by ravaging your walls as well. *wink wink*

author’s note ✍🏼 : this initially was supposed to be merged with chapter 15, but they’re two completely different vibes so it felt wrong putting them together. so enjoy this short chapter :)

this chapter can be read as a stand alone (but we’d love to have you aboard)

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 1.0k words

NSFW — unprotected p in v sex (wrap before you tap pls), around the house fucking, multiple positions, against the wall and floor stuff if you squint, eddie has a mirror on his ceiling HELLO, voyeurism, praise kink, size kink, eddie is a veiny man 🫠, squirting, shy girl taps out, eddie finishing on shy girl

“Gonna put your legs behind your head when I make you wet the bed.”

♡

Touch-starved kisses.

Heavy panting and petting. Urgent, cat-like scratches etched around the door by a finicky brass key...

You'd think that the Harrington-Munson estate had been ransacked, judging by how carelessly you and Eddie flung yourselves — and your clothes — around the place. The 10 minute drive from Hellfire to here was far too long for you both to handle.

"Mmm.”

You let out a soft, pleading whimper as your man pins you against the wall, his large hands just inches away from your pulsing neck.

“Missed you,” Eddie breathes. “Miss being inside you so bad.”

“We literally just fucked at Hellfire half an hour ago.”

“Your point?”

You two are now approaching round three with no intention of stopping. Like an adrenaline rush, a shot of espresso, a sugar high from alcohol, you’re itching to run headfirst into the high that has been taunting you, despite having already been fucked to exhaustion. But eventually, it builds.

It builds when you’re getting split open in the kitchen, bent over with your tits pressed against the cool marble island. You’re selfishly perusing your edge so frantically, Eddie eventually resorts to standing in place, his hands rubbing your asscheeks in admiration while you use his stiff cock to get yourself off. “That’s right, Princess. Keep fucking yourself into me. Use me all you want, baby. Mmm, just like that.”

It builds when you’re getting it on the couch, chanting Eddie’s name aimlessly into the air as you ride him, his eyes burning with lust as he watches your perky tits bounce in his face. “Doing so good, sweetheart. There we go. Bet this is your favorite pole to ride on, isn’t it?”. It especially builds when you switch from a straddle to reverse cowgirl, chasing your aching bud’s pleasure against the singular protruding vein that rested along Eddie’s lengthy shaft.

"Mmm… oh my god," you whimper, when your core retrieves the sensation. “Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…”

“Shit, honey,” Eddie grunts. “Gonna make me cum when you cry out my name like that..”

And when you two sink to the floor, it builds there too.

It’s a struggle to keep your eyes open, the way they’ve resorted to rolling back as you attempt to handle Eddie balls deep, his girth and length making you claw at his thighs, the pathetic bargaining and squealing spilling out of your mouth becoming synchronous with every aggressive thrust.

You’re wrapped around his cock so tight it makes him tremble and twitch.

“Feel so tight around me, baby…”

“Taking me so good.”

“My sexy girl. God, you’re so wet. Gonna cum on me again, huh?”

“Oh, my beautiful girl liked that one didn’t she?”

My girl, my girl, my girl.

Eddie had been chanting those words all night…as if he himself didn’t believe it. As if he was trying to convince himself it was true and not just a dream.

And now you can hardly contain it anymore, ascending to another dimension when Eddie bends you like a pretzel in his bed, pummeling into you in missionary like he still hates you.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Eddie shouts as he continues to thrust deeper. “My darling girl, you feel so good… you’re killing me here.”

You bite into his pecks to keep your screaming at a minimum. And when your eyes travel up to the ceiling, the glistening reflection catches you by surprise.

“Oh wow,” you pant as you observe.

Eddie takes a break from his bliss to glance over at where you’re looking. Satisfied with himself, and his kinks that he enjoys putting on display, Eddie smirks down at you.

“Getting a good look at that mirror, Princess?” he quips, leaving gentle kisses around your chin.

“Mhm,” you grin as you bat your lashes.

“Wanna tell me what you see then, darling?”

Slam. He pummels into you again. This time, the pace is unforgiving. Eddie rests both forearms at each side of your face, harboring you in place, keeping you still so he can achieve his own release.

Because he knows. He knows that yours is near.

“I see me,” you whimper pathetically.

“Mhm,” Eddie nods in approval. “And what’s happening to you, darling?”

“ ‘m getting pounded by Eddie,” you pout.

“Yes you are,” Eddie moans. “That’s you taking all of my cock, sweetie, you see that? You like watching yourself get fucked huh?”

“Y-yes,” you squeal. “I’m taking you so good.”

“Yes you are,” Eddie repeats. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

"Oh my god.."

You’re really at the end now. You slap Eddie’s thighs frantically, pleading with your quivering lips for him to pull out before you flood his sheets. Initially, he doesn’t listen.

"Agh!" you shout.

"Shit!"

"FUCK!”

“Oh my god..”

“Please, Eddie, Please,” you cry out. “I can’t take it, I can’t take it, Eddie. Fuck… pull out!”

Eddie immediately retreats upon hearing those words, clearing his path as you soak his sheets and his thighs. He resorts to kissing your chin again as he finishes himself on your stomach, chuckling as your legs involuntarily shake underneath him.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

“Mhm,” you nod alas when you come to.

“Thank you for saying something,” he grins sweetly. “That was a lot huh?”

You nod again. “Mhm.”

He kisses you again, smacking his lips in rhythm with yours whenever you permit. And as you pull away, he grabs your hand, kissing the back of it ever so delicately as well.

“We should get some sleep anyways,” he smiles. “We’ve been up all fucking night.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I know. Busy day ahead too.”

And with that, Eddie pulls you close and tosses a few blankets over you two. You sink back into his chest as he spoons you, arms resting around your waist and rubbing your stomach tenderly as he finds himself drifting into his other dream world. You wish to lay here forever.

Your eyes scan Eddie’s room one last time before they close. A part of you almost giggles when you see a pair of handcuffs hung up on one of his four walls.

"Nice cuffs," you comment sleepily.

Eddie laughs against your shoulder. He rubs your ass again.

"Just wait until we start roleplaying."

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