#and what I really actually properly need is for someone to tell me whether or not it fucking sucks

[stuckinapril]

what red flags should i look for in a man?

I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, or any human being across the board. Ok so:

When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.

Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.

Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.

People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.

Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.

If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.

Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.

It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.

Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.

This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.

Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.

People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.

Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.

The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 34. in too deep

WHEN YOON JEONGHAN TAPPED JAY'S SHOULDER, HIS BRAIN WAS TOO MUDDLED TO EVEN THINK PROPERLY.

He underestimated how casual the gesture of tapping someone to get their attention was, and it was evident when he was looking back at Jeonghan with a confused gaze. Jay had spent the entire day freaking out over whether he was going to get a seat in the Order, and now that he was face-to-face with one of their members, he couldn't even grasp that he was being offered a spot.

Jay was in the middle of reading your frantic texts about getting a seat from Sungjin, sitting at an empty booth in the library so that he could charge his laptop. The very thought of Sunghoon being left behind had him so baffled that he could only gawk at Jeonghan for a few seconds. The senior only seemed amused, hardly even realizing that Jay had far more weighing on his mind than being tapped.

"Congratulations, Jay," Jeonghan said with a broad grin stretching across his face, "welcome to the Order."

Every word he could have used to finish his sentence died on Jay's tongue, and instead he croaked out, "I—huh?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure how else to dumb it down for you."

He wasn't sure what snapped him back into reality—maybe it was the whistle of the wind in his ear, or perhaps it was the fear that Jeonghan must have thought he was a crazy person—but Jay immediately straightened up and let out a forced cough.

"Sorry," he got out immediately. "Thanks. I just thought—"

"That you wouldn't get in?" Jeonghan finished for him. "Yeah, I thought so, too. We were debating between you and Kazuha for nearly an hour. It took a lot of manipulation to convince them that Kazuha wasn't the right choice."

The corner of Jay's mouth picked up in a grin. "Manipulation?"

"Let's just keep that between us." Jeonghan gave him a wry smile and handed over a thin, black folder with a few sheets of papers tucked neatly inside. "You can open that later. It's just a welcome letter and a notice about sending us details so we can coordinate your initiation night."

"Huh..." Jay trailed off; his mind was still stuck on his bid rather than the folder in his hands. "I didn't think I'd get in after that interview."

"Are you kidding? They loved your answers, especially when you said you'd punch Sunghoon."

"But—I didn't even know the answer to whatever seven-eight-six meant, though."

"That's the whole point," Jeonghan said. "You're not supposed to know everything! What we believe is that it's valuable to admit that there are answers you haven't found yet, but you also did your best to draw a conclusion with the little information you had."

"So... what does it mean?"

"We don't know."

"What?"

"We don't know," he echoed with a shrug. "We think the founder chose it to represent us because he claimed to have decided eighteen of the characters on the Kryptos sculpture himself—on top of the ones that're already deciphered."

"Interesting," Jay replied with an inquisitive hum. He then gave Jeonghan a strange look. "Are you supposed to be telling me this, by the way?"

"Sungjin didn't want us talking with you guys too much, actually. We're supposed to just tap you on the shoulder, hand you the file, and leave." He scratched the back of his neck aimlessly. "I have to stay on campus until my next class, though, so I don't really have anywhere else to go."

"If they ask, I'll let them know that you were very, very mysterious."

"See? I told them that was what the Order needed: loyalty."

Jay felt his stomach twist. He was probably the worst example of that, but seeing that Jeonghan held him in such high regard, he couldn't bring himself to object. Instead, he brushed off the senior's words with a shy grin.

Jeonghan continued, "I swear, they were deliberating for so long that I—"

"Jeonghan—wait, Jay?"

To Jay's relief, you walked up behind his table, looking between the two men several times before you seemed to piece together what was going on. The determination that had darkened your eyes seconds prior started to melt away.

"You got a seat?" you breathed out, and before Jay could nod, you were shooing him further down the cushioned bench so that you could sit next to him. Your gaze immediately landed on the black folder in Jay's hands. "Oh!"

There was an awkward pause. You looked up at him for a brief moment, and it looked like you had a lot more to say instead of opening and closing your mouth over and over again. Jay's throat felt tight. Your sideways look at Jeonghan made Jay wonder how what your true reactions would've been if you two were alone.

Since you clearly hadn't anchored yourself back into reality, Jay slapped his folder onto the table to take Jeonghan's attention away from how distracted you had gotten.

"What? You didn't think I'd make it in or something?" he teased you, although he was quite aware that that wasn't your intention.

"No," you insisted with a scoff, kicking Jay's shin under the table.

Jay hissed through his teeth, nudging your leg back with his shoe. Unbeknownst to Jeonghan, you two were in an intense battle of trying to kick the other; your attempts were always stronger than his.

"Oh, that's fucked up," Jeonghan joined in, leaning forward onto his elbows. "Were you hoping someone else would get in over Jay?"

He rolled his eyes, realizing that Jeonghan was just hungry for a morsel of gossip. However, anticipation was swirling in Jay's chest as he prepared himself for whatever your answer would be. After your text about Sunghoon's situation, he wouldn't have been surprised if you were more concerned about your ex-boyfriend.

You huffed. "No, I think Jay deserves it out of anyone who interviewed."

His heartbeat was somehow quicker. More intense. Jay couldn't understand why your words left little electric currents running under his skin, but he was just grateful that you couldn't see how much of a mess his head was.

"But what the hell, Jeonghan?" you continued, sharper. "Why did Sungjin give me his seat?"

Jeonghan let out a dry laugh before shaking his head. "Can't give you our reasonings."

"Weren't you just talking about mine?" Jay cut in since he was equally curious about where Sunghoon's predicament was going.

"Well, that's—" The senior cut himself off and screwed up his eyes as he processed his next words. "Okay, you're technically right, but I gave you my seat, Jay. I didn't give Y/N my seat, so I can't tell her why she was chosen by Sungjin."

You and Jay stared blankly at Jeonghan for a moment, who was slowly losing his resolve to keep quiet.

"Okay, fine." Jeonghan sighed heavily. "Tell anyone about this, though, and you two won't be having a fun initiation process." As Jay swallowed thickly at the thought of being hazed, Jeonghan leaned over the table and lowered his voice to say, "I don't know much because we don't really question Number One, but he just said that he didn't want to extend his seat to his brother anymore. Something about wanting Sunghoon to make it on his own."

Jay frowned. "Number One?"

"That's what we call our president," he replied. "Only the members of the Order know about Number One's identity for the duration of their office."

"You're really a loudmouth, Jeonghan," you sneered.

Jeonghan held up his hands in mock surrender.

"Then did Sunghoon get a seat or not?" Jay asked. "He had to have gotten a tap, right? It'd be ridiculous if he didn't."

Jeonghan only shrugged in response. "The finalized list of our new members will be emailed out tonight. You'll find out then."

You and Jay exchanged uneasy looks. Waiting to hear back from Sunghoon appeared to be their only option, and it only made Jay feel more at war with his head and heart.

For one, Sunghoon was a crucial part of the mission. Something happening to him would definitely affect you, and although that made Jay feel a twinge of bitterness, he recognized that you two had a previous connection that he couldn't get between.

On the other hand, he felt that he was in too deep—so deep that he wasn't sure how he would pull himself out when this was all over. Jay remembered it every time he turned white-knuckled when he would text his client; every time he laughed around Heeseung; every time he had to take a few seconds for his rage to simmer around Sunghoon; and every time he looked into your eyes and felt some semblance of peace.

And it made him feel terrified.

next | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @zerasari @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowwww @enha-stars @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon @navsnct @hooniesuniverse @enhalov @enhypens-baby @isawritesss

[louvemione]

illicit affairs (part two) — d. malfoy (draco's pov)

synopsis : Draco watched as Y/n slowly walked out of his life and wonders why their relationship is considered illicit.

warning/s : angst, fluff if you squint hard enough, profanity, written in first person, pureblood! reader (this isn't really important & would only be implied)

author's note : like promised, here is part two of illicit affairs 🥳 but i feel like i didn't write it properly 🥲 hopefully, you guys get the message i'm trying to get through!

<- part one | part three ->

leave the perfume on the shelf

that you picked out just for him

sixth year

"why is it that you no longer wear your signature perfume? I used to love it" that was probably a dumb and unnecessary question to ask

but can you blame me? I just need the slightest reasons and I would gladly start a conversation with her. as crazy as it sounds, I'd most definitely take every opportunity to talk to her.

she was silent for a moment, luckily it was only us sitting by the fire, "there's absolutely no reason for me to wear it but i'm glad you loved it"

i hate this. i hate the awkward silence between me and her, i hate that she's distancing herself from me and i hate that i am pretty much aware of it, i hate not being able to tell her how much i adore her, i hate not being true to myself, i hate—

"i'll go to my dorms now, it was nice talking to you" she didn't wait for my response and continued to walk to her dormitory, i hate when she's formal, it's as if we weren't friends.

so you leave no trace behind

like you don't even exist

"good morning!" I say, rather awkwardly than I hoped for it to

"hello, Draco" she smiled and walked past me

I watched her retreating figure like I always do now that she tries to cut every interaction short.

I hate it.

I hate it when she acts as if nothing ever happened between us. I hate that she no longer wears her perfume. I hate that she's slowly starting to slip past my finger tips.

I fucking hate it.

because she was leaving my life, slowly. so slow that I could see her disappear bit by bit. like, she was packing her things to move else where.

from her presence, to her perfume. it's as if she never even existed with how carefully everything connecting to her disappeared from my life.

take the words for what they are

a dwindling, mercurial high

"you look gorgeous" I whispered, hoping that it was loud enough for y/n to hear, hoping that she knew that it was directed at her, not Astoria.

I felt guilty for dancing with my soon-to-be wife and wishing it was y/n I'm holding.

soon enough, when Harry and Y/n stopped dancing, I excused myself.

"I'll go out for a moment" not waiting for Astoria's reply, I started walking away. I walked behind Y/n, grazing my hand against her waist in the process, hoping that she gets the message.

and that's how we ended up in the restricted section of the library, where we spent the next hour hugging and exchanging kisses and i love you's while looking through the different books in the shelves.

i love you, looking back, I started to wonder whether or not she took my words seriously.

"impossible! he can't...actually mean it!"

but according to the conversation I overheard, she took it as a dwindling, mercurial high.

a drug that only worked

"we're okay, we'll figure this out together, but let's not think of that for now" my kisses were denied when she pushed my head away and sat up.

"we all know we can't do anything about it" she argued and pushed me off, "listen, baby, we shouldn't restrict ourselves from loving who we want and I definitely won't spend my life married to someone I don't love, so believe me, I'll do something about it"

"but you two are set for marriage—"

"but I love you, not her" she stayed silent and I smiled, "so, do you trust me?"

"yeah, of course, I do"

the first few hundred times

"do you not trust me?!"

"NO! I FUCKING DON'T!"

and that's the thing about illicit affairs

and clandestine meetings and stolen stares

illicit? our relationship is nowhere near illicit.

it's not wrong to love someone, what's wrong is to pretend to love someone.

if it were Astoria I'm in a relationship with, that's illicit. but y/n? why would our relationship be illicit? because I'm bound to marry someone I don't want to marry?

"you okay, mate?" only then did I realize that I have been gripping my knife so tightly as I watched as she laughed with Saint Potter.

"we know you've been...feeling bad since she ended things with you but—"

"I just don't understand! why now? why—"

"why not now, Draco? did you think she'd want to wait 'til your wedding before breaking it off?"

"there will be no wedding!"

"oh I wouldn't be so sure if I were you" Daphne says, "my mum wrote to me this morning and mentioned that they might start planning yours and Astoria's wedding, if I were you, I'd start getting into action"

I spent the rest of supper thinking and secretly staring at y/n, who seemed to be doing the same.

they show their truth one single time

"i love you"

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie

"do you love me, still?" I say, not too bothered by the students who I knew were eavesdropping in our conversation

"as a friend, yeah"

we both know she's lying. and I know she's aware of the fact that I know she's lying.

a million little times

© louvemione on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[averytirednerd]

Just watched the 1x07 sneak peek

and AAAAAAAA

My week’s already been pretty crappy so far, and I desperately needed this 😭

Nearly two minutes of Alastor and Charlie, ft. them actually discussing things I wanna hear about!!!

These are some of my favorite things from the scene:

Charlie’s angry facial expressions towards Alastor are truly a highlight of this clip. She looks adorable wrapped up in her little blanket burrito, which is a plus.

I also adore the fact that it’s Alastor who’s trying to cheer Charlie up, and get her to stop wallowing in self-loathing (whether it’s just b/c it helps him or not, I still like it). I wonder if he took it upon himself to or the others nudged him in that direction.

I also love Alastor’s passive-aggressive comments in the beginning of the clip. He seems really frustrated and it’s hilarious to see.

“Who’s joking?”

THE WAY HE JUST APPEARED AND THE WAY AMIR TALAI DELIVERED THE LINE AND CHARLIE FELL OFF THE BED AND-

I like it :]

Ngl I’m disappointed in myself for deriving so much joy from watching Alastor be all silly and mess around on the bed. BUT ALSO I MEAN C’MON HIS LEGS WERE KICKING BACK AND FORTH WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? Not to mention he’s being all silly like this, just vibing, while Charlie’s having a little meltdown. Very fun juxtaposition to see.

YESSS FINALLY SOMEONE PROPERLY MENTIONING THE WHOLE SMILING THING, I WAS WONDERING HOW LONG IT’D TAKE FOR THAT TO BE BROUGHT UP

And the reason why I wanted someone to question him, so we’d get to hear Al’s response. The look into Al’s thought processes is amazing! It’s exactly what I thought he’d say, and I’m pleased with that now being checked off my list of things I wanted from this season. I’m so happy that Charlie knows this now too.

And last but certainly not least… “I know something you don’t know~”

WHAT? WHAT IS IT, ALASTOR? HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME HANGING 😭

Edit: Sitting there, after having rewatched the clip like 20 more times post making-this, it finally clicked that he’s probably talking about the exterminator. You know, the dead one. As the lovely comment down below has pointed out, he says it after Charlie mentions the exterminators being “invincible.” Now it’s just a matter of whether he tells her, if he does then how, and how exactly Charlie reacts to this information. Can’t wait :]

[fleurriee]

— earth and sea ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!reader

synopsis ; since meeting neteyam, you had found yourself making a new friend you were comfortable around. or maybe he was starting to become more than a friend....?

word count ; 5k

themes ; fluff, tiny bit of angst

warnings ; mentions of anxiety & feeling scared of interactions (me), small dosage of reader not feeling good enough for certain things/neteyam…

author's note ; is this going too fast? a part of me feels like it is, but then the other part of me doesn’t care bc i found these two absolutely adorable & want nothing more than to just shower them in the love they deserve?? they’re soulmates, what else was i supposed to do, hmm?? also, i like to think that whilst na’vi do court their mates, they’re quite quick with it, like they just want to be mated and start a family, is this just me or i’m i thinking too much on this?? anyway, i really hope u enjoy this chapter bc it’s adorable and fluffy and ughggghhh!! apologies it took so long <33

previous part ; next part

day and night series masterlist main masterlist   request a fic!

In the short span of time that had passed between that first day when the Sully family arrived in your home, seeking uturu and pleading for the safety of their lives, your life had slowly began to change.

Because, in all that time, Neteyam Sully, the eldest son of the two new outsiders, had been nothing but kind to you.

The conversation you’d had that one time with him, when teaching the other Sully’s how to properly travel within the waters, had clearly sent him some messages you weren’t aware of. Since then, he’d sought you out more, wanting to be a part of your company and slowly chip away the walls you’d built for protection against your own fragile heart all those years ago. You guess you should’ve known this would be happening - he did ask whether or not there was a chance you’d get along with him - and, now, he was doing everything to ensure that you did.

Neteyam picked up on your shy mannerisms, too, during this time, realising that compared to the rest of the clan he’d met, you weren’t exactly the most confident one out there. It was difficult for you to do or say or go through certain things than it was for others, but, he understood that. He understood that because he was never overbearing to you, never putting you under any pressure in anything in particular, never forcing you to do anything you didn’t want to do.

And, slowly but surely, he was right. You were beginning to get along with someone like Neteyam Sully. This boy - someone who you shouldn’t have gotten along with in the first place simply because of your stark differences, someone who you should’ve stayed away from because everywhere he went, danger followed his family - made you feel nervous. But, it wasn’t the normal feeling of nerves that would settle at the bottom of your stomach, festering and rotting themselves whole until you wanted nothing more than to claw them out. No, these nerves felt like beautiful butterflies swarming gracefully within you, ones you were slowly beginning to enjoy and seek out more of.

They made you feel more alive, and so did he.

Of course, you couldn’t have been going through all of this, basking in the territory of the unknown, without Tsireya being there and knowing about it, too. You hadn’t told her too much, not wanting to overshare, but, you’d made sure to tell her enough that you could go to her should you have the sudden need to rant or ask any confusing questions. It also wouldn’t be Tsireya if she didn’t slightly tease you whenever you were alone with Neteyam (which, actually, happened to be more times than you’d come to realise…), loving the idea of her lifelong friend slowly beginning to poke her head out of her safety blanket of a shell and become the person she really was for all to see.

As your best friend, she loved seeing you comfortable in places or circumstances you never thought you would’ve been in. Clearly, Neteyam was a good influence on you, and she was entirely too happy that the two of you had met.

But, even with the time of meeting them having passed by in a sudden blur to you, it clearly wasn’t going as fast to the rest of the world, the Sully’s included. The younger of the lot were still continuing to struggle with fully taming their ilu’s, despite the several times you all had tried teaching them. Some had it better than others (mainly the girl’s, but you weren’t surprised there), but there were still moments where even they couldn’t get it down to perfection, not to the point it needed to be at if they wanted to live within Awa’atlu.

After much deliberation, yourself and the others decided the cause of their struggles was due their breathing techniques and not being able to hold it as good as it needed to be. So, Tsireya exclaimed that it would be better to attempt to tackle that problem first. That way, they might improve in other aspects, too, arranging a day for the group of you to focus on that particular area.

Sat in a circle, legs crossed over as each of you faced one another, you showed them the correct way they should be controlling themselves within the depths of the waters. Tuk was situated in front of you, allowing you to help instruct her like you’d requested - she was a delight to teach, and you wished to continue to do so throughout her entire Metkayina training - and you were in between both Tsireya and Neteyam, a situation that fell into place subconsciously without either of you fully realising it.

Tsireya’s calming words spoke comfort over those learning, guiding them in the right direction as they each watched on in earnest, wanting to best at something they weren’t expected to all those years ago in their home. You watched with tender eyes as Tuk’s own never left the girl, doing her best to replicate her movements. Leaning forwards, you held your palm against the youngest girl’s stomach, delicately pushing it further and allowing her to even herself out as she held her breath. Even when doing so, wavering on, she sent you a small, slightly giddy smile of appreciation. It was clear she was getting the hang of it.

However, someone who wasn’t getting the hang of it like his youngest sister was the eldest one to your right. You noticed in your peripheral vision that he wasn’t doing it correctly, the way you’d been showing him, as he stuttered on his breathing and struggled to calm himself down when he felt it leave his lungs.

There was a moment of hesitation that filtered through your veins as you thought your options over, knowing what you needed to do - not only to help aid Neteyam in his exercises, but to also push yourself that little bit further. You were doing so well, especially with Neteyam, and you didn’t want things to end with him.

So, with one last lingering look around the rest of the group and taking note that each of them were focusing on their own breathing or guiding someone else, you turned a little in Neteyam’s direction, patting gently atop his arm. In an instant, he’s stopping, looking over and down at you expectantly, and you immediately feel the butterflies make their home within your stomach once more - how could they not, when his eyes only filter in your own, so intense and eager?

You watch as he leans subconsciously closer down to you, making sure that he would be able to hear every quiet word you uttered to him. This was a move that had happened recently, but one that made you feel seen. Because, Neteyam knew that you struggled with words sometimes, and when you finally gained the courage to say something, it wasn’t always the loudest. But, still, he wanted to hear every word you had to offer, and he wasn’t going to miss anything you said to him.

This time, however, you struggled to say anything, staying silent, instead. You found that the words you wished to speak, the question you wanted to ask him, was getting stuck in the back of your throat, something that happens more times than you’d like to admit. And, you hated it when this happened, because it made you look so stupid. How could someone struggle asking a simple question, when it was the easiest thing in the world?

In an instant, it’s as though your mood suddenly deflated, and you feel terrible about yourself. Your eyes gaze upon the floor, too scared to look the boy in front of you in the eyes and show him your vulnerability, despite knowing he’d understand - after all, he’d seen you go through this before.

And, when you feel one of the most gentlest taps against the top of your knee, knowing already that it had come from him, you slowly realise that you don’t need to hide from him, because in some way, he’s like Tsireya. He’s someone you can trust wholeheartedly without any worry of being judged or belittled… the only difference is there are other feelings lingering there with the Omatikaya boy, ones you’re still too scared to admit.

When you make eye contact with him again, there’s already such a soft look upon his features, the sunlight painting him in an ethereal light as he smiles reassuringly down at you. Those butterflies are back again, almost like they’d never left, and just one looked shared between the two of you had your spirits lifted once more.

You don’t think about the words you couldn’t speak anymore, simply refusing to acknowledge them and let your mood decrease again, instead pointing downwards, motioning to his stomach and looking back up at him in waiting.

It was obvious he was confused, just by the look of him - from the way his brows furrowed, questions lingering behind his gaze, and his mouth turned, trying to think of all the things you could’ve meant. So, you push your palm flat against your own stomach to help line your breathing, before motioning back over to him.

There’s a small oh that escapes his lips upon the realisation, a blush forming on his cheeks as with a giddy smile and sheepishly nodding. He gives you the space to move, watching as you hesitantly bring your hand close to him, before pushing your palm against his stomach. This is the closest the two of you have been to one another, accepting the boundaries between the two of you and never touching the other in such an intimate way.

It’s obvious the move has its affects towards the both of you, as you feel Neteyam’s breathing begin to stutter upon the contact, shaky exhales falling from his lips. There’s no doubt a darkness to your cheeks, too, as you feel everything within you begin to heat up, and you’re not quite sure how you’re supposed to react to all of this, ensuring to keep your gaze locked on your hand to further any embarrassment that might occur. Neteyam, however, simply cannot take his gaze away from your face, basking in each of your features and willing them to imprint themselves within his mind, not wanting to forget a single detail about you. You’re so ethereal to him, so beautiful and enchanting that the thought alone causes his ears to flutter and his tail to smack gently against the ground in a small burst of excitement.

His trance within your presence helps calm his breathing, and when you feel that, along with the soft patter of his tail against the sand, you bring your hand back to your person. There’s a proud smile already lingering upon your lips, happy that you had managed to help teach him something, but also happy for him having gotten better at something, too, that when you look up, only to find him already intensely gaze at you, everything falters within you. It feels as though your heart had just skipped a beat, as though your smile faltered and became a little shaky, and all that was on your mind was him.

He has gazing at you in such an intimate way even when you weren’t concentrating, when you were paying any attention… imagine how he’d look if the two of you ever had something more.

You’re only broken from your thoughts, the staring contest between the two of you not faltering, when you’re brought back to reality when he speaks up. “Thank you,” he says, breathlessly, almost as though he’s in some type of trance, words strangely quiet.

Collecting yourself to the best of your ability, you smile up at him slightly shakily, nodding, struggling to form any words due to a mixture of being out of your comfort zone and basking in the way this boy was looking at you, hoping your actions conveyed the words you wished you could say.

In that moment, too, you realised how close the two of you had gotten, your faces so close to one another, like any moment now, something else could’ve happened.

And, something might’ve done, but you would never know when suddenly, everything filters back into the front of your mind as to where you are and who you’re with. The sound of chuckles made their way to your ears, the once Neteyam-filled trance dissipating and focusing instead on those around you. Your head snaps in the direction of the laughter only to find Rotxo and Lo’ak giggling to themselves as they looked on at you two; Kiri and Ao’nung were rolling their eyes and grumbling under their breaths; Tsireya was trying to keep her ever-growing smile hidden behind her hand, and Tuk was none-the-wiser, too busy concentrating still on her breathing exercises.

“Oh, shut up,” Neteyam groans, speaking up before you can even attempt to hide away. He shoves the top of his younger brother’s head, before Lo’ak pushes him back. Before you know it, they’re shoving one another teasingly, in a way you know brothers do after, having seen ‘fights’ like this beforehand.

You find yourself laughing softly at their antics, watching as they push and shove at one another before they’re both on the ground, and your eyes subconsciously travel over to Tsireya like they always do, like they always wish to seek her out, just for one small moment of comfort. She throws a knowing look your way, one that has your cheeks heating up again, but then her smile turns gentle and tender, reassuring - after all, at the beginning of all of this, Tsireya was the one who had said that this could be good for you, and now look at where you were. Sure, things were still going to be difficult for you - you had no doubt they always would be - but, already, you were doing things you never thought you’d be able to do just months ago.

Looking back over at Neteyam as he had his little brother pinned against the ground, demanding jokingly that he apologise to him for whatever reason you didn’t know, you realised that you were slowly starting to believe that Tsireya was right.

Only a few days had passed since that moment shared between yourself and Neteyam, but somehow, it had felt like longer. In that time, you hadn’t had the opportunity to see him again - your clan were planning a small celebration together (although, they were never small when it came to the Metkayina, so you knew exactly what to expect), and your time had been taken up by helping them prepare.

A small part of you was just slightly grateful that you hadn’t been able to see him yet, mainly because you needed to get yourself together, and truly understand what you were feeling. You had an inkling, but it wasn’t like you’d felt something like this before, and you didn’t really know what to do with it.

Tsireya had obviously been a huge help, and she’d told the truth, one you knew was inevitable. You’d been thinking the same thing, and maybe you were just too scared to admit it. But, when Tsireya said what even she knew to be true, it was like everything fell into place and some things began to make sense.

Neteyam began to make sense.

So, begrudgingly, that’s why you find yourself willingly turning up to the clan get-together, secretly telling yourself that it wasn’t really because you wanted to just catch a simple glimpse of him, but because you helped set this up. Even you couldn’t convince yourself that well.

The entire front was alive the moment eclipse had fallen towards the ground, setting the atmosphere alight with so many different spirits. There were several tables aligned along the edge, a variety of foods you swore you couldn’t even name they were so exotic, the hunters having gone out extra early to collect so much; a group of Na’vi were at the front, swaying to the music they were creating and lighting everything up with their melodic voices, creating an aroma of peace and tranquillity.

Everyone you had ever come to see in your short life was present, either dancing along with the music or chatting away their day with a friend or their families. So much noise was filtering in through your ears, you could barely hear yourself think.

Things like this were never your thing, simply because of the amount of people in one area and how loud it could get - when you enjoyed listening to the soft sounds of nature on your own, you were never going to get along with an environment like this. But, like you’d told yourself, you had helped put this together, and it only felt right to watch as others enjoyed themselves in their element, basking in the feeling of the family of Metkayina coming together as one… definitely not for Neteyam…

Arms crossed over your chest like a protective mechanism, shielding yourself away from anything that made you feel even slightly uncomfortable, you stayed towards the edge, not wanting to get mixed up in the thick of the crowd, knowing that would only be your worst nightmare. Your eyes flickered from one set of people to another, searching for your best friend, only to quickly find her close to Lo’ak, the two of them sitting side by side, smiles bright and achingly adorable. Hoping to talk to Tsireya, you let this one time go, knowing she was enjoying herself with someone she really cared for, especially after the talk the two of you had no too long ago where she admitted to finding him attractive.

So, you left the two of them to it, staying in your hidden place at the back, too scared to venture any further. Allowing the sounds of wonder, awe, and bliss reach your ears and satiate a part of you inside that warms at the idea of happiness, you’re too focused somewhere else to realise there’s someone coming up behind you. “Not a party person?” they question, their voice unintentionally startling you.

Your head turns around quickly, wanting to get to the source of the scare as soon as possible, only to find the other person you’d been hoping to find - Neteyam. He hadn’t changed much for the get-together - some people like to go extra and all the way, dressing up in their most fanciest clothing just to show themselves off, but, Neteyam stuck to his roots, his usual clothes adorning his muscled skin, the same ones he ritually kept from his home in the forest.

You liked him that way.

With a calming sigh, one to rest your suddenly beating heart, you turn your attention back to the rest of the clan in front of you. “Not really,” you reply, shrugging.

“Yeah, me neither.” Neteyam laughs nonchalantly, slowly taking steps to walk up beside you. You can’t resist the small smile that begins to curve up your lips at his attempt to start a conversation with you.

Silence envelops the two of you, something that seems to happen more often than not, but you can’t find yourself dreading it. No, you’re basking in it - in everything around you. There’s such a loving atmosphere filtering in around you, from the clan, the people, from Neteyam. Just being in his presence alone seems to make you the happiest you’ve been, and you realise there’s nothing you won’t do to continue chasing that feeling.

But, whilst you soak up in the silence, the Na’vi next to you can’t seem to take it anymore. “Look,” he started, moving forwards so he’s standing directly in front of you, capturing your whole attention. Now your eyes are on him, you notice he’s looking a little nervous - his hands are fidgeting, fingers wringing and his eyes are flickering between each of your own, like they’re not sure what they should really be doing. He takes a deep breath, like he’s preparing himself, and you find yourself leeching onto that nervousness of his and taking some of it as your own. “I know that this might be a bit out-of-nowhere - or maybe it isn’t… I kind of hope it isn’t - but I… like you, like… really like you. And, I was hoping maybe we could try…” he gestures between the two of you, his words so unbelievably soft and scared, “…this?” Your eyes have widened automatically, in complete disbelief at what he’s just admitted and asked you. “But, only if you want to,” he quickly adds on, not wanting you to feel any type of pressure. “You know, I don't want to make you uncomfortable in anyway." There’s a small laugh at the end of his rambling, one that’s hesitant and hopefully understanding.

His words course and filter their way inside your mind as it begins to cloud over with so many different, lingering thoughts. You’re not quite sure what to focus on first, because you’ve never done this before, and you’ve never really prepared for it. Sure, you knew one day there would come a time where you’d have to choose a mate and go through the whole process of courting, but you’d never spoken about it in much detail with your mother. So, now that something similar was happening before your very eyes - with Neteyam, nonetheless, someone you had come to treasure hardheartedly within you - you didn’t know where to start.

The butterflies swarming in your stomach had come back, crediting to this entire situation. Thinking on it, you knew since the moment you’d first laid eyes on him, you had found Neteyam Sully attractive - how could you not? - but, not once did you ever believe he could think of you in the same way, and especially not enough to tell you that he wanted to try the two of you out together. None of this made sense - you weren’t good enough for Toruk Makto’s eldest son; you weren’t good enough for someone who was supposed to be an Olo’eyktan back in his home.

But, despite thinking these things, that didn’t mean you didn’t want him in the same way. Your negative thoughts were trying to put you down, attempting to steer you in the opposite direction and away from a beautiful opportunity presented in front of your very eyes, one that could blossom into something ethereal and unique if you didn’t give it a try. In your fight against yourself, you look down at the ground, swallowing deeply as you think over your next words. You need this time to truly understand what could happen next with whatever words come out of your mouth, you calm your racing nerves and steady your rapid heart - because, you wanted to this, too. You just had to learn to counter yourself against those pessimistic thoughts.

Looking back up at him, you smile warmly - it’s shaky and scared, but, it’s warm, nonetheless, something he picks up on. “You do not make me uncomfortable, Neteyam.”

A breathy, hesitant laugh escapes his lips, like he’d been scared of overwhelming you and somehow managing to push your further away than he ever wanted you to be. “Good, good.”

There’s more silence that surrounds you, except this time, neither one of you are feeling anything else other than one another. Your eyes pierce into each other’s, your intense gazes never straying away. You will yourself to hold this contact with him, wanting to feel even just a smidge of confidence when you admit your next words. “I would… like to try it, too.”

A small, shy smile accompanied your words, and when he saw that, along with his mind processing your wonderful words, the tension once residing in his taut shoulders dissipates, and a smile radiates upon his features, becoming wider and showing his fangs on display within his excitement. Just at the sight of his happiness from your words somehow quickens your heart from within its cage, continuing to wonder how someone as beautiful as Neteyam could hold such feelings towards you.

Almost like he knew where your mind was spiralling towards, he takes it away from you, licking his lips in concentration and taking a step that continues to scare him, despite knowing you were beginning to feel the same way. Wiping his hands together out of nerves, he brings one of them up towards you, palm facing up as he gestures for you to take it. “Would you like to dance?”

It’s only when he’s asked you that particular question that you realise the women’s singing have slowed down, a much softer, gentler tone emanating from their voices. You look in the near distance behind Neteyam, watching as couples dance sensually to the melodic sound with their partners, pressed up against one another as they show off their love to everyone else.

Neteyam notices your change in expression immediately, watching it fall as the prospect of dancing in front of others - to such an intimate-sounding song, too - has your nerves beginning to spike. Wanting to reassure you as quickly as possible, hating the sight of you so worried and distressed as it pierces his heart painfully, he moves himself directly into your line of sight again, not allowing you to look at the others anymore. Still, he hand continues to wait for you. “We don’t have to go over there,” he shook his head, wanting you to feel reassured by him alone, “we can dance here, or somewhere a little more private.”

With your heart evident in your gaze, watching him and only him, appreciation fills within your system to him. Since first meeting him, Neteyam has understood your boundaries on the same wave length as Tsireya always has, allowing you to put up walls and tending to your needs to willingly, so lovingly. This was all even before he slowly started to fall in love with you, and now that he had you, he was only going to be the perfect gentleman for you that he always has been.

A sheepish smile plasters upon your lips, and you nod up at him, your shaky hand taking his and holding on tightly, his life force aiding to calm you down. He turns his head to look at the clan, just checking up on something quickly, before gesturing the two of you in the opposite direction and leading you further into the trees.

It’s even more secluded now that you’re blanketed from the trees, darker and much more hidden away, but not an inkling of you feels scared that you’re here with only one other person, because it was Neteyam, and you know you never have to feel scared around him.

Your hand is still tight within his grasp, and you were close to letting go of him, expecting to start engaging in a dance you’re used to having watched growing up - one that was original to your clan, or maybe even his, one slightly less intimate and more fun - but, he doesn’t let you pull away. Instead, he keeps your hands clasped together, placing his other one gently against the back of your waist and slowly pulling you closer, repeatedly watching every expression you make to ensure that you’re always comfortable.

Now that he’s in position, he chuckles softly at the confusion warping your features. “This is how they dance on the star where my father is from,” he explains, watching as you slowly nod in understanding. Still, it doesn’t feel right to you, mainly because whilst Neteyam’s hands are where they should be, you still have one of your own hanging limply at your side, unsure what to do with it. Thankfully, upon noticing this, Neteyam unwraps his one from around your waist and guides yours up and around his shoulders, before returning once more to its place. “Is this okay?” he asks you softly. “Are you comfortable?

His questions that you can tell are truthful and sincere have the awkwardness you were previously feeling disappear, feeling as he gradually starts to sway the two of you side to side, the Metkayina music faintly beating in the background, quiet in an atmosphere such as this one. You find that you can no longer shy your gaze away from him. “Yes,” you reply, so soft and delicate that it has his heart fluttering, “this is perfect.”

Somehow, his smile grows wider at your words, elation coursing through your veins, feeling one of the happiest times he’s ever had the pleasure of being in. His feet continue to gentle guide the two of you in this sky-person dance, the warmth emanating from his presence alone slowly calming your once racing heart and allowing you to succumb to him entirely. Subconsciously, your head falls to lay against his chest, his rhythmic heartbeat echoing within your ears like a mantra, wishing it was all you could hear for the rest of your life.

As he lays his chin atop your head, pulling you in impossibly closer and thanking the Great Mother for allowing him to feel something so special - let alone, allowing him to take this in the palm of both his hands and call it his own now that he knew you felt for him the same - Neteyam thinks back on the moment he’d been told they were moving to a different clan for their safety, back to the moment he’d first arrived at such a startlingly different place. He remembers wishing he could go home, wanting to feel the presence of familiarity through his person again. But, he also remembers that his father had once told him that home isn’t always necessarily a place… it can be a person, too.

And, for the first time since arriving in your home, in Awa’atlu, wrapped up in your embrace, Neteyam found himself not missing the forest as much as he used to.

taglist ;

@monahiiii @bakugouswaif @teyamsatan @sulieykte @teyums @neteyamslovrr @tinkerbelle05 @netesanrr @lanasblood @camilo-uwu @queen190 @adrianarose7 @ttkttt @ayoungforeveruniverse-blog @lucialobelia @littlepisceanpixie @gyuventure @afro-hispwriter @thexplosivegirl @bellstwd @tahni-04 @eclipseatsea @6422btw @badbussylol @ellabellabus07

[snapscube]

So you mentioned the Amazing Spider-man movies, what are your thoughts on them? For me; I was pleasantly surprised by 1 AND 2. Like 2 is bad, real bad, but the jokes were legit, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are just...an amazing on screen couple and until the transformation Harry is a really fun villain....just sucks that most of the movie is exposition about peoples relationships to one another or experiments done mostly off screen.

TASM1 is perfectly serviceable as a standalone project and was definitely not the worst jumping off point, but it struggles to really properly understand Spider-Man/Peter as a personality. Peter absolutely doesn't have to be a goody two-shoes loser, all of the best adaptations of Peter imo can have some serious attitude and grit to their persona, but TASM1 kinda over-corrects on the Tobey Maguire "shy nerd" angle by making Spidey a bit too much of a dick. I remember the movie getting a lot of praise for finally making Spider-Man funny and quippy, praise I similarly gave at the time, but it really... doesn't do that nearly as much as ppl gave it credit for??? There's like ONE scene where Spider-Man is kinda jokey with someone he suspects to be Ben's killer, but that scene kinda stinks because he's not quipping as much as he's like actively cruel lmao. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone had great chemistry though and you can tell Marc Webb knew his stuff when it came to directing that kind of romantic tension, seeing as how his previous project was 500 Days of Summer. All-in-all, it's a Fine movie but it's not a fantastic adaptation of the things I personally like about Spider-Man.

TASM2 is so much more intriguing to me to watch and to talk about. It's genuinely baffling how that movie ended up like it did, but in a way that almost anyone could have predicted. That movie STINKS. It's really really bad. But it also has kind of the opposite problem to TASM1 in that... TASM1 is a good movie that doesn't properly showcase the character of Spider-Man, whereas TASM2 is a garbage movie that features some of the best live action Spider-Man scenes/setpieces we had seen and would ever see to this day. It's sincerely tragic how many great INDIVIDUAL MOMENTS are in that movie, and how loosely connected they are by some monumentally stupid studio meddling. That movie has everything going in its favor with Andrew Garfield in the lead, the best live action Spider-Man suit to this day, the most thrilling and well rendered swinging sequences put to film, and the occasional glimpse of a true Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man that is down on the ground connecting with and watching over not just the city itself but the people within it. There's a montage in the middle of the movie that features Spider-Man on his daily patrol and he comes across as just so PRESENT and on the same level as the people he protects, meanwhile in the audio track you hear newscasters and interviews fiercely debating whether or not what he does is actually worthwhile. And that shit HITS. But unfortunately that kind of stuff is still too rare and it far overshadowed by Sony desperately trying to make a Spidey Cinematic Universe without earning it. Ultimately they had all of the pieces to make a truly definitive adaptation of Spidey that I feel like almost anyone could get behind, but they just... couldn't. Even Spider-Man PS4, commonly lauded as one of the most definitive Spidey stories of all time, uses SO MUCH of the same DNA of the Amazing Spider-Man films, but the difference is that it had the space to be only exactly what it needed to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyway I could talk more about this for sure but I'm looking at the length of this write-up and wincing already LOL.

[clu-ven]

Heyaa , I hope you're taking good care of yourself before answering any of the asks! Make sure to stay hydrated always 😄

I have a small request for the bad batch (mainly Hunter). How would they react to a reader that is the mom friend ? Bonus points if she has a REALLY short pixie cut (hair almost buzzed).

I'm usually the mom friend and I'm really curious regarding this , if you feel comfy enough writing about it , headcanons , maybe even small fics of it? 💛

THE BATCH BAD WITH A READER WHO'S THE 'MOM FRIEND'

quick note: eeeek thank you for the request anon! But I'll be honest, I had no idea what a 'mom friend' was before this so I hope I did it justice! Also, because I spent so much time trying to figure out the characteristics of a mom friend (Have I overthought this? why yes, yes I have), I didn't touch on the short hair aspect but I can always do headcanons specifically for that if you'd like!

word count: 3.1k

HUNTER

Hunter isn’t sure what to make of you at first. Before you came along, he assumed if someone was nice to the Batch, it was because they wanted something from them.

But not you. 

You genuinely care about them and their safety. It’s unlike anything Hunter has ever experienced and honestly, it’s a little unsettling at the beginning. He doesn’t understand why you put so much effort into befriending a bunch of defective clones.

He’s cagey but once some time passes and he realises you genuinely care and this isn’t some façade, Hunter relaxes and embraces your role as the mom friend.

Hunter’s actually kinda relieved to have you around now. He’s still unsure if he can look after Omega properly but having you there to confide in is a big help. 

And although Hunter will always try his best to act tough and unfazed by things, he appreciates your keen eye and how you can always spot whenever he’s feeling overwhelmed.

...and now, a quick drabble...

Hunter’s been staring at the datapad for twenty minutes, hand pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighs to himself. In the two seats in front of him, Tech and Echo loudly bicker about whether the last mission was a trap or simply bad timing, and in the seat adjacent to Hunter, Wrecker flings Omega up into the air before catching her again… a routine they’ve been doing ever since the Marauder went into hyperspace. 

The mixture of Tech and Echo’s squabbling, Wrecker’s booming laugh and Omega’s squeal everytime she’s hoisted into the air is a recipe for disaster for the Sergeant. 

Picking up some spare blankets you spontaneously bought on the last planet you visited, you call out to Hunter. His head snaps up, though the second he sees you, his expression softens. “Can you bring these to the bunks for me? You can just leave them at the end of each one” you ask sheepishly.

With a sharp nod, he stands and with a few strides, Hunter is in front of you and taking the blankets. Lowering your voice so just he can hear, you say “Take all the time you need, I’ll get them to calm down… eventually”. A flicker of shock spreads across his face, surprised that not only did you notice his agitated demeanour but that you knew exactly what was causing it. 

Opening his mouth, Hunter wants to thank you, to put his hand on your shoulder and tell you how much this means to him but Omega lets out another shriek and he tenses.

Giving him a reassuring smile, you walk past Hunter and to the others. As Hunter makes his way to a quieter part of the ship, he can hear you trying to change the topic of conversation with Echo and Tech, hoping that’ll put an end to their bickering before offering Wrecker and Omega some spare Mantell Mix you had in an attempt to distract them from their noisy game. 

With a smile on his face, Hunter crashes on to his bunk, blankets covering his head as he wonders how he got so lucky to meet you.

TECH

Much like Hunter, Tech is dubious of you at first. You’re so quick to help them, to listen to their problems and care for them. Before this, the only other entity that’s ever aided the Batch is the Republic and well, we all know how that turned out.

Don’t be surprised if he ends up interrogating you, asking you a barrage of questions regarding what you hope to get out of this.

Kindness isn’t something they’ve come across recently so Tech’s sceptical of you.

But once Tech sees how you act around not only them but everyone else, he starts to understand that you’re simply caring by nature and not trying to scam them.

Before you came along, Tech would usually stay up working until he fell asleep hunched over a table or else he would opt to not sleep at all.

But now with you here, he knows it’s only a matter of time before you come along and usher him off to bed. At first, Tech thought this was annoying and a hindrance to his work but he gets used to it pretty quickly, finding it comforting that you always make sure he gets some rest.

...and now, another quick drabble...

It’s another late night for Tech. He doesn’t mind it, preferring to work in near silence (besides some snoring coming from the other room).  Working on a few adjustments to his helmet, Tech’s eyes flick between his armour and datapad, taking the time to simultaneously catch up on what the Empire has been up to recently. He’s not sure what time it is but judging by the deep sleep everyone seems to be in, he’s presuming he has another few hours until anyone wakes up.

When he hears some movement from the other room, Tech freezes for a second before relaxing once you come into view, a steaming cup in your hands. “You should be asleep” you whisper, tiptoeing closer to him. 

“So should you” he replies without missing a beat, resuming his work on his helmet. You sigh, setting the cup down on the desk. Peering over at the warm liquid, Tech questions “Caf?”.

“Tea,” you correct him “you can take it to bed with you, it should help you sleep”.

Tech doesn’t move, giving you a look that reads ‘seriously?’. Putting your hands on your hips, you bluntly state “You need to rest”.

“So do you” he quickly replies. You sigh. Sometimes you forget how stubborn he can be. 

“Well, I’ve actually gotten some sleep,” you shrug “and Echo’s supposed to be watching the ship while we’re in hyperspeed but he’s fast asleep so I’ll take watch instead”.

“That’s unnecessary, I’ll watch the ship and you can go back to bed“ Tech proposes but you fold your arms, shaking your head.

“No, you need sleep” you try your best to sound stern but it’s hard to act mad at Tech, especially when he’s trying to help.

He goes to speak again but you sigh, giving him a pleading look as you say “Tech, please… if you don’t sleep now then you’ll be overtired tomorrow and you won’t be able to think straight on our next mission and kriff, if you can’t think straight on a mission then we’re all screwed”. 

Slowly, Tech rises from his seat “You have a point”.

Picking up the tea, he gives you a wearily smile, suddenly feeling self-conscious over his stubbornness. “Thank you… for looking out for us, you’re caring nature isn’t something we’re used to” Tech tries to make eye contact with you as he speaks but he finds it hard, his face becoming flustered with his small confession. 

Returning the smile, you reassure him “Don’t worry about it, now go get some rest, you deserve it”.

WRECKER

Even in a galaxy full of backstabbers and criminals, Wrecker likes to see the good in people so he trusts you and takes your kindness at face value.

He quickly becomes attached to you, relishing in your caring nature and becoming very protective of you. You’re a breath of fresh air to Wrecker so Maker help anyone who tries to mess you with.

Wrecker knows how rare it is to find someone so gentle and caring and now that you’re here, he doesn’t want to let you go. 

Despite Wrecker being much larger and stronger than you, you make him feel safe and protected.

Although, Wrecker can be mischievous sometimes. He has no problem dragging you into an argument if he knows he’s losing, knowing you’ll put a stop to the bickering completely and he won’t ‘officially’ lose the argument.

He may have threatened his brothers a few times with the dreaded “I’m telling”. You’re respected by all of the Batch so the thought of getting into your bad books is enough to make them shut up and leave Wrecker be for a while.

...yet another quick drabble...

Boarding the ship, Wrecker calls out your name, hand on his head as he enters. You immediately look in his direction, getting up from your seat and making your way over to him with a concerned look on your face.

Before you can even ask what’s wrong, Wrecker groans “I hit my head… again”. Reaching up to get a better look at his injury, you gently touch his jawline as you examine the side of his head. Thankfully there’s no open wound and hopefully the pain won’t last long. 

“Do you need some food?” you ask, making Wrecker’s demeanour perk up ”You go rest, I’ll get you some blankets and a cup of water and-“.

Hunter cuts you off, boarding the Marauder next “He’s fine, he can do that himself”. Although you know Hunter is only saying this to make sure you’re good hearted nature isn’t being taken advantage of, you roll your eyes. 

“No he can’t, he’s injured!” you declare, removing your hand from Wrecker’s jawline and instead opting to rub his back. “Yeah, Hunter, I’m injured!” Wrecker repeats, his tone mimicking yours.

Not wanting a fight to break out, you glance over to Wrecker, giving him an unimpressed look. After seeing your expression, he goes back to groaning and holding his head. It’s pretty obvious Wrecker’s exaggerating this injury but you decide to play along, knowing he just needs some attention.

“Oh c’mon, he didn’t even complain about his head until he saw the Marau-“ Hunter scoffs but Wrecker interjects with another low whine, turning his attention to you as he speaks over the Sergeant “I think it’s getting worse, all this talking is many my head throb”. 

With a soft smile, you reply “Why don’t you go lay down, hm? I’ll follow you in a second, just let me go get some snacks for you first”.

Although Wrecker tries to keep up his exaggeration, he can’t hide his smile. Giving you a nod, he turns to head towards the bunks, making sure to give Hunter a smug look as he passes. “Wha- please tell me you saw that” Hunter runs his hand down his face.

You let out a small laugh, making sure you speak loud enough for Wrecker to hear as you give Hunter a wink  “Hey be nice to your brother, he’s hurt enough as it is and he doesn’t need you making his headache worse”. Hunter rolls his eyes but doesn’t intervene anymore. 

Once you’ve collected all of your snacks, as well as getting some drinks ready and picking up a holomovie, you follow Wrecker into the bunks, excited for the relaxing night ahead.

ECHO

Echo can be kind of distant with you sometimes. It’s not that he doesn’t like your caring tendencies but he doesn’t want to depend on you, scared it might seem like he isn’t able to do things himself.

He wants to help the Batch too and before you came along, he was seen as the responsible and very tired parental figure of the group.

So while he’s hesitant to let you mother him, he’s always there to take care of the others with you. You two are the parents of the group and honestly, you’re the best duo for it.

Echo has some walls up, hesitant of the roles being swapped and him becoming the one being cared for… but with some time, those walls will start to drop.

But until then, he’ll be your teammate. The both of you working together to take care of and worry about the others. 

Seriously, it’s scary how similar you and Echo think sometimes. Whether that be packing extra supplies or remembering how each member likes to have their caf.

...you guessed it, it's quick drabble time...

It’s always hard when the batch gets split up, one half staying while the others go on a mission. What makes it harder is that you’re on the side that has been told to stay put. 

According to Cid, it’s an easy job that doesn’t require that many people and that you should be happy you get some time to relax while Hunter and Echo go on the mission. But your mind doesn’t see it like that.

While the other’s hang back at Cid’s parlour, you walk with the other two back to the ship so you can properly see them off. “Have you got extra bacta patches on board?” you quiz Echo while Hunter picks up his pace, deciding it’s best to leave the parents of the group discuss supplies.

“Yes, we do” Echo nods.

“And bandages?” you question, nervously nibbling at your bottom lip “Cid didn’t really give us a lot of information on this job so it’s best to be prepared for anything”.

With the Marauder close by, Echo stops and places his hand on your shoulder, making you stop too. “It’s going to be fine,”  he says, his voice calm and comforting “we’re transporting nerf nuggets, even I don’t think much can go wrong with that”.

You sigh, knowing Echo’s right but still feeling anxious “Ok but be-“.

“Careful?” He raises an eyebrow at you, a cheeky glint in his eye.

You roll your eyes, already well aware of how predictable you can be. “Yes but seriously, keep an-“

“Eye out for troopers” he finishes your sentence again, letting his hand drop from your shoulder as he begins to climb the steps up to the Marauder.

“Ugh, fine, point proven,” you shake your head before remembering “oh and keep your-“

“Comm on in case of emergencies” this time Echo doesn’t even glance back at you when he says it, only stopping to look at you once he’s safely inside the door to the ship, revealing his mischievous grin.

Before closing the doors, Echo bids you a proper goodbye “I’ll see-“

“You soon?” You quickly interject, making Echo’s grin grow wider. As the steps to the Marauder begin to disappear into the ship’s mechanics and the door loudly starts to close, Echo calls out over the noise “You took the words out of my mouth!”.

CROSSHAIR

Crosshair has convinced himself he doesn’t need your help, your compassion or your company. Yet no matter how many times he tries to push you away or rebuff your kindness, you continue to be there for him.

Basically, you’re a complete enigma to him.

Crosshair’s kinda like a stray cat, subtly curious of you but too wary to accept your affections. Instead, he likes to simply watch your interactions with the others, slowly warming up to the idea of you also caring for him in the same way.

The one thing you do that is guaranteed to always make him smile is scold the others. You don’t do it too often but sometimes it’s necessary, especially when they fight over petty things. 

Crosshair is always by your side then, arms folded as he enjoys the entertainment of it all. And if things start to calm down, he makes sure to say a comment or two just to rile the others back up again.

But if he’s in an argument and you walk in? He knows better than to continue, usually rolling his eyes before stalking off to spend some time alone.

...quick drabble time: Crosshair edition...

Despite the mission being a success, it ended in another argument. You luckily missed the start of this argument, so you aren’t sure who’s done what or who’s angry at who but from the glares Crosshair and Hunter keep giving each other, you can make a few assumptions. 

You just arrive to the argument when it ends, catching the tail end of it as Crosshair storms past you, muttering something about loyalty.

Once Crosshair is out of earshot, the rest of the batch let out a collective sigh, equally annoyed and disheartened by the argument. “Do I even want to know what this is about?” you ask and judging by the look on Echo’s face, no, you don’t. Taking a deep breath, you turn on your feet, now facing the direction Crosshair stormed off in “I’ll go speak to him”.

It doesn’t take you long to find him, sitting on top of one of the large crates the Batch has been tasked with collecting and transporting back to base. He doesn’t look up when you approach, keeping his attention on the dirt staining his gloves. Hopping up beside Crosshair, you wait for him to speak.

“If you’re here to make me apologise, you’re wasting your time” he hisses.

You shake your head “I’m not here to do that, I just thought I’d keep you company”.

“I don’t need your company,” he snaps back.

You don’t reply. Whenever Crosshair gets into one of his moods, you understand he pushes people away and so you don’t take what he says to heart.  

Trying to shift the topic of conversation, you put your hand into your pocket. “Y’know the last time we were in Coruscant, I went to this place called Dex’s Diner. I heard some Regs talking about it so I thought I’d check it out,” you start, causing Crosshair to roll his eyes “the food was fine, nothing too fancy”.

“And why should I care about this?” he asks, raising his head so you can see his bored expression. While he’s still in one of his moods, you notice his tone isn’t as harsh, your sudden story somewhat disarming him.

“Well, on the tables they had a bunch of napkins and those little holders for straws, oh and they had these brightly coloured sauces ,” you ramble on “but they also had this bowl on each table and you’ll never guess what they were full of…”. 

Pulling your hand out of your pocket, you open your palm to reveal a bunch of toothpicks. Crosshair gazes down at your hand, his expression remaining neutral.

“I know they’re just toothpicks,” you shrug, unsure whether you should feel embarrassed or relieved by his lack of reaction “but when I saw them, I got excited because they made me think of you. And then I started wondering if you had enough toothpicks so I figured I should take some just in case you don’t”.

With your other hand, you pick out a toothpick and delicately place it on his leg, a satisfied smile on your face. You drop the other toothpicks into your pocket, jumping down from the crate “Anyways, I’ll leave you be now, just thought you might appreciate a toothpick”.

Crosshair stays silent as he watches you leave, waiting a few seconds to make sure you really are gone before taking the toothpick and putting it between his lips. With your words ringing in his head, a small smile begins to tug at his lips. 

He rolls the toothpick along his mouth, hoping that’ll hide his expression.  Sitting back on the crate, he closes his eyes, focusing all of his attention at what you said...

“they made me think of you”

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Okay, okay. I can't stop thinking about Kang and his approval seeking.

He plays a part to maintain his grandma's adoration, he tries so hard to do things that his dad will be proud of only to have the man shoot down every attempt.

And then, there's Sailom.

Even when he was actively bullying him, he was mostly angry that Sailom wasn't reacting the way he wanted him to. Sailom wasn't afraid of him, he wasn't giving in, he wasn't even properly mad. Sailom didn't give Kang a good grade in bullying him.

And now that they're... Whatever they are, Kang has rapidly shifted to wanting Sailom's positive attention and approval.

They do the money dance again when Kang leaves Sailom's house, only this time, Kang frames it as an almost apology:

When Sailom insists he won't keep the money unless Kang accepts his tutoring, Kang has a whole little moral crisis about standing him up (after carefully smiling and laughing off the comments from Max about how much he enjoys his own hot tutor), Kang shows up to the library hours late, and (after a fortifying breath) actually apologizes:

And then, when Sailom assures him that he wasn't waiting on him, Kang asks to dive into studying with this face:

After completing his assessments, we get this:

Look at those pleading eyes. Please please please tell me I did good.

And when Sailom's first reaction is confirmation? Look at how happy Kang is? Look at how he lights up!:

And then, the reveal:

He failed to get Sailom's approval, and he's devastated.

But it's more than that, too. He's realizing -- a little bit, at least, and it really comes together for him later with his dad -- that the way he's skating through life, the way he's letting his dad's lack of expectation and faith in him turn him into someone without direction, someone who can't meet simple expectations, even when they really want to, is making him miserable. The lack of effort has put him at a real disadvantage, he is woefully behind in school.

And for someone who puts a lot of work into coming off as the smartest, coolest, most in control guy in the room, he is at a loss. And all that wrong-footedness gets all wrapped up in his getting about Sailom. So first, he runs, and then, he doubles down on needing Sailom ('s approval).

We get the renewed commitment for tutoring when he shows up early. We get "let me drive you home", complete with "hold on tight " and both of them looking unbearably soft while the other can't see them. We get the dinner date with extra takeaway to share with Saifah. We get ... This:

And then later, after so much vulnerability and a whole ass chase, and a disaster of a surprise party, there's this:

Kang, getting a taste of what Sailom's attention feels like, of what meeting his expectations might gain him, and looking absolutely lost about it.

Kang has been trying to do well to prove himself to his dad, and his dad just constantly undercuts his efforts, and we see him give up, even after spending this whole episode fighting against the apathy and associated failures and disappointments that that has gotten him so far. But Sailom won't let him.

Sailom literally fights him in order to get him to keep going, to keep trying. Sailom sets himself as the motivation, as Kang's reason to keep going (Sailom took a very long pause when Kang asked "Do you want me to say I want you to be proud of me?" and let that particular word problem start working itself out in the background, and the answer came out "Yes" sometime thereafter).

And Kang is overwhelmed by the prospect of having someone's expectations, of being able to earn someone's approval.

And Sailom is overwhelmed by all the things he's feeling for this boy he literally spit on last week, but has now discovered is a whole mess, and also soft sad-boy under all that (I am on the fence as to whether he knew Kang was Umbrella Boy before he saw the picture).

They are both feeling so many things, and half of them are confusion, and I am also feeling many things.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?

This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.

In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.

I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.

I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."

I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"

I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?

From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.

He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.

This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.

Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?

We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.

What are these acronyms?

[weebsinstash]

So fandom specific posts are to follow eventually, but this is going to be a general concept. I've been thinking A LOT on alternative takes to the red string of fate trope and I started wondering about a hypothetical idea of the strings changing in appearance based on the current health and mental well being of the person they're attached to, even to the point where the strings do not properly appear if you're in bad mental health

For example, some of these AUs have the string where you have to think about it to summon it whenever and you can follow it as long as you want, and some have the string only appear when you are within a certain proximity to your other half

First and foremost, what if, when your string appears, you could make it vanish again at will. Not like permanantly, but like, say, if your string keeps appearing and you don't want it to be used to track your physical location, you have to concentrate similar to using a specific muscle and you can "force them back" so they can't find you. Just imagining the growing frustrations of a yandere who has to wait until you fall asleep to even make progress on your actual location because otherwise it's, them summoning your string for about .5 seconds before you notice and shut that shit off immediately, like two people on opposite ends of the room both toggling switches for the same light

But anyways, back to the alternative appearance strings, could you then imagine a scenario where, your yandere has their string appear and after a certain length, it changes colors for the rest of the strand, signifying your string and your own well-being, and the color immediately signifies something incredibly serious and worrying to them that immediately has them speeding to your side to check on you even if they've never met you before, regardless of if it's a couple blocks over or if they have to follow that string across the world. And then you can pair that with the "string blocking" idea and you have an extremely frantic yandere who is freaking out, "my soulmate is in trouble, why won't they let me come help them?! This is why they need me!!!" Amd they KNOW you are deliberately holding them off so, whatever aspects from that, whether it's a sadistic yandere who is amused by your spunk, or a nurturing yandere who automatically takes this as affirmation that you're just a sweet nervous little bean who needs their guidance, look at you being so scared of your own soulmate you silly little goose--

I only have two alternative colors, technically three different ideas total, but, I considered the idea of someone's string slowly turning white and becoming more visibly frayed if someone is seriously ill and or dying, eventually snapping and disappearing upon true death, and I thought it would be interesting if this "physical health symptom" also manifested for suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation. Your yandere has your half of the string appear connected to theirs and they IMMEDIATELY know you're in trouble and they come to find you at all costs and you're... so depressed you can't even be excited to meet them and may even still want to die and just tell them to go away. Your yandere all but kicks down your door, "honey I'm here and I'm ready to love you!

Continuing from that last point, the other idea I'm really growing attached to that is probably my favorite is the idea of the BLUE string of fate: a string that appears on someone who is currently not within the right mental state to be in love or needs some sort of help or time to heal from a trauma before they are ready. Your other half tries to summon their string? The other end of it cuts off mid-air and hangs off their hand, leading nowhere, useless, unable to be followed, only a couple inches of blue their only hint if they even have a soulmate at all, but it can't lead them to you, driving them crazy who you are and where you are

I also considered the idea for alternate colors if two people are soulmates but they have, shall we say, an alternative dynamic? Like you could also technically use the blue string (although i personally think green or elsewise for this example would work better) for like, two aromantic people who are platonic soulmates or that have some incredibly strong nonromantic nonsexual love for someone? Or if you had, say, an aroace or just aro person and their soulmate was an allosexual of some kind. Idk it just sounds intriguing to play around with the concepts since you know, there's more than just romantic and platonic love and it can be an extremely nuanced feeling and love also doesn't inherently translate into sexual desires as another aspect and in this essay I will--

Either way, I feel like once I interact with certain tropes for another years, I wanna start throwing some seasonings in there. Spice up this bitch and saute it. I'm out here giving ABO a broader range of vocalizations to the point Omega can make clicking "distress call" noises to signal for help when trapped or injured. I'm over here "what if scenting could be done with any physical touch and the nature of the scent can be intentionally controlled to convey certain feelings so your yandere Alpha could give you a friendly shoulder pat and suddenly you're walking around with Don't Touch My Mate Or I'll Fucking Kill You scent all over you and you have no idea"

I just. Final thing. Can you imagine being in the same room as your yandere and, THEY KNOW they feel some sort of attraction to you they can't explain, but you dont really talk or make any effort to interact with them, and one day you overhear your yandere talking about how they don't have a soulmate yet and they summon their string and half of it is blue and here you are, subtly sneaking out of the room, staring down at your own cobalt thread and wondering, "am I.... THEIR...?"and deciding to intentionally keep it a secret, but eventually you two grow close enough or, someone says something to you that opens your heart and let's you love yourself enough that, a tiny voice inside of you is like "yeah... I WOULD like a partner to spend time and laugh with, i want to koge and im ready to take the risk" and your yandere literally watches your string, and by extension the string on the other end of theirs, completely change colors and finally fully connect, so then you have the slow burn, kind of one sided pining that absolutely explodes in intensity once your yandere finds out it was you all along

Just might be a couple of fun concepts to play around with in the future. You guys know I love drama...

[cupid-styles]

Ok I know you said you’re tired so no pressure but I just had an idea for ymls so ima send it in and maybe for concepts laterrrrr <3

Ok ok ok so I know ymls started out as an enemies to lovers kind of thing but developed from there which has been the loveliest development 🫠 (seriously one of my absolute favs) but what about the night they met? ‘Cause you did a blurby on the first night they hooked up (thank u) but I had this thought that like, the first night they met, if they were all out with friends, y/n would be extra grumpy because she’d be irritated at how attractive and enigmatic he was and she didn’t wanna be drawn to someone like that bc literally who does and so he’d be flirting with everyone bc that’s just his personality which would annoy her even more bc she’s so (adorably) grumpy and so she would make an effort to talk to everyone but him and then THAT WAY you could have the little blurby/one shot you’d intended about them actually being enemies and like witty banter (which as we’ve seen obviously develops into H being a total softie and a total simp for y/n)

Can u tell I relate to a grumpy y/n

Just a thought do NOT mind me if you hate it

I LOVE THIS VERY MUCH TY HERES A LITTLE BLURBIE FOR YA (I changed it a little bc I got carried away LOL)

part of the ymls universe!!!!!

content warnings: none!

masterlist | talk to me

. . .

"God, he's so annoying."

Lea scoffs from beside Y/N, who looks on as Harry waltzes effortlessly around the bar, making any and everyone his biggest fan. She doesn't understand how he does it — or even why he does it — but they both know he's charismatic enough to convince anyone to sleep with him, bail him out of jail, or sell him their house. Or, all of the above.

"I don't understand why you're being so mean," Lea replies as Y/N wraps her lips around her straw, sipping her cocktail, "He's actually really nice."

"Yeah, I can fucking see that."

Lea snorts and shakes her head. "You could probably learn a thing or two from him, actually."

Y/N glares at her and slides her elbows off the bar, rising from the barstool and walking back over to their booth. She doesn't know who this guy thinks he is. Dom brought him tonight, apparently they work together, and everyone just... welcomed him, like he's the son of god or something. There was never a question of whether or not he fit in, and no one asked one another if they liked him. It was irritating because in fact, everyone loved him. Except Y/N, of course.

She'd known him for all of three hours and found his flirtatious nature annoying. She didn't have an issue with his kindness, but it had to be for show, didn't it? No one was actually that nice all the time. She would pay big bucks just to see him properly angry. Maybe then she would like him more.

"Wipe that scowl off your face. You look like you're gonna go on a murder spree."

Y/N rolls her eyes as she slides into the booth, ignoring the typical teasing coming from Dom.

"Me? I could never."

He chuckles and wraps a loose arm around her shoulders, leaning down to catch her ear. "He's the nicest guy ever. You're being really silly, Y/N."

She shrugs his arm off of her, "I don't have to like him."

"That's true," he says with a nod. They both look up to watch him flirt effortlessly with a blonde across the room, a wide toothy grin taking over her face as she laughs, reaching out to run her fingers over his bicep. Y/N resists gagging. "But you don't have a valid reason to hate him."

"I do, actually. He's flirted with nearly half of the bar."

"So you're slut-shaming him?"

"I am not." Y/N mutters.

"Don't look now, but he's coming this way."

She tries not to groan as she glances up. Sure enough, this mysterious Harry plops down at the booth, an empty glass in his large hand.

"You guys need refills?"

She goes to shake her head, but Dom cuts her off. "I think Y/N does, actually. Oh, and could you grab me one while you're up there?"

She sends him a glare through squinted eyes, grumbling as he forces her out of the booth. She passes Harry, continuing her trek up to the bar, and rolls her eyes when she feels him scrambling to catch up to her.

"Hey, Y/N, right?"

She nods, ignoring his presence beside her.

"Nice to meet you. I don't think we got a chance to talk tonight."

"Yeah." she says curtly, waving down the bartender. He misses her and she sighs out in frustration.

"Oh, lemme do it," Harry replies, using his taller stature to grab the attention of the bartender. She grumbles and pushes her elbows up onto the surface of the wood. She bets if she'd worn a top with more cleavage tonight, she wouldn't have to rely on Harry. "I'll take another tequila soda, please, and whatever she wants."

Y/N scowls up at him but nevertheless hands him the empty glasses. "Just two vodka crans, thanks."

"Is that your go-to drink?" Harry asks.

"Only when I'm feeling annoyed."

"Tough day at work?"

"Something like that," she mutters, turning around to face him. "What's with this whole nice guy act? Do you go home and secretly play with human bones or something?"

Harry's eyebrows furrow. "Like... like taxidermy?"

"No. Like psychopathy."

"Are you asking me if I'm a psychopath because I'm... nice?"

"Yeah. There's no way you act like this because you want to. It's weird and you're not fooling me."

Their drinks appear on the bar top and Y/N quickly grabs hers and Dom's, walking back to the booth. She sits down at the end so Harry can't take a seat next to her, only for him to slide in across from her. The tension is apparent as Y/N glares at him, and Dom clears his throat awkwardly.

"Harry's a psychopath." she blurts out. She hopes that's enough to maybe push him out of the group, but instead he just breaks out in loud laughter, a stupid, dazzling grin appearing on his face.

"You're funny," he says once he's calmed down from laughing, "I think we're gonna be good friends."

[ssentimentals]

seventeen members as their natal charts: jeonghan

sun in libra, moon in aquarius

this man is moody and exciting, it's impossible to get bored with him; has trouble settling for one activity, easily changes his own plans, is more nervous than people think of him, needs someone to calm him down; actually is really nice and sensitive if you get past his tough shell

'hannie, wait!' you shout, hearing his answering giggle. instead of making you irritated though, it only brings a smile to your lips. you quickly wipe it off, trying to sound stern: 'i'm serious!'

'hurry up, slow pants!' he shouts back, laughing. 'or i'll go without you!'

you roll your eyes at his dramatics, but inside fondness blooms at his spontenous nature. just few minutes ago you both were content with a nice picnic next to the river and now here you are, running to catch a ferry because he suddenly thought that it'd be a great idea. you stop to tie up your shoes and when a shadow looms over you, you look up, smiling. 'thought you said you'd go without me, huh?'

jeonghan huffs and kneels, batting your hands away and tying your shoes himself. 'what i'm going to do with you? you can't even tie your shoes properly,' he teases good-naturedly.

pouting, you snark back: 'you can leave me here, then.'

he stands up, looking at you with a gleam in his eyes. for all of his playful banter, jeonghan knows when to be serious to soothe your worries and can tell when you're not taking the joke lightly: 'not a chance, babe. it's only fun if i'm doing it with you.'

you smile, reaching out to poke his cheek. 'sweet talker. let's go now.'

he nods and takes your hand in his. 'or we can go to amusement park instead of a ferry? or no, we can go to ferry and then from there we can-'

'let's just get to the ferry first,' you interrupt him gently. 'and then we can decide what to do afterwards, okay?'

jeonghan looks at you at this, giving your hand a light squeeze. sometimes his mind runs too far ahead and he is thankful that you are always there to calm him down even in the smallest stuff like this one. 'you do know that i'd never actually go without you, right?' he suddenly asks, nervous. he knows that his jokes can go too far, so it's always good to check; he can close his eyes on many things but not on making you feel insecure in this relationship.

you chuckle, nodding. 'i know, hannie. i know.'

because you do know - for all of his bravado, jeonghan is actually much more sensitive than he lets on and he cares for your feelings even more than he realizes.

idolizes relationships, a best fit for him would be someone with motherly tendencies due to his childish nature; while concept of relationships intrigues him, he doesn't jump into them quickly, takes his time to decide whether his partner can give any additional meaning to his life or not. relationships just for the sake of it do not interest him, he values his independence and freedom too much for that.

jeonghan stares at the chicken soup in front of him and something in his chest squeezes uncomfortably. you are so nonchalant about it and this is what gets him the most, because making chicken soup for someone who's ill is such a small thing for you, you don't even give it any meaning. it's obvious for you, something like breathing. and you have no idea how you shatter his world with such a simple act, how your caring sides makes him want to hold you tight and never let go. with small acts like this one you pull him closer and closer to you, make him think of things like future together and it's too much. because then he starts thinking of what you mean to him and what you bring to his life and then he starts thinking of how life without you would be incredibly dull and then-

'that soup is not going to eat itself,' you remind him, stepping closer. you check whether he has a fever or not with a hand on his forehead. 'hm, i think you're starting to burn up. how are you feeling?'

'okay,' jeonghan croaks, wincing at his voice.

'yeah, that sounded very okay,' you sigh, leaning in. 'i know you're not hungry, but soup will make you feel better.'

you make me feel better, you and your care and your love is on the tip of his tongue but he says nothing. being cared of is something that he needs 24/7 and something that he so afraid of asking for. he doesn't want to seem weak or needy, but you somehow guess his desires right away, giving him what he needs without him having to ask for it. jeonghan thinks he might be more than just 'a little' in love with you. 'thank you for the soup,' he says sincerely, smiling at the way your entire face lights up. 'it's delicious.'

'you haven't tried it yet,' you point out, smiling.

'when it's cooked with so much care for me, of course it's going to be delicious. i'll eat it even if it's bad.'

it's the 'thank you for taking care of me and always being there for me' wrapped into one and you smile at this, nodding. confessions from jeonghan sound exactly like 'i'll eat it even if it's bad' and there's a certain charm in them, too. 'i promise i didn't poison it,' you respond, attuning to his teasing side.

jeonghan chuckles, pulling you closer. 'you come here and eat it with me.'

he doesn't listen to your protests and forces you to sit on his lap, tucking his chin on your shoulder and making you feed him. 'you're such a baby,' you mutter affectionately, patting his hands on your waist.

'your baby,' he replies easily and yes, he is. and you wouldn't trade him for the world.

a/n: bursting into your feed with another series! hopefully this is good? pls let me know what you think! - nini

all of my works are here and my tag list is: @smalliechelle @jaetaimjadore @yeow6n @a-wandering-stay (let me know if you want to be added!)

[kirishima-eijirock]

Hello!

Big fan of your work, specially your bakugo stuff it is *chefs kiss*.

I'm wondering if I could request something with bakugo taking care of someone who's sick who is TERRIBLE at sitting still?

Like always has to be doing something, feels lazy if they aren't at work or doing something productive and he needs to get them to rest.

(Cause I am currently stuck with covid round 2 so maybe this will make me actually rest my body lmao)

Thank you!

You like my work? You like my work? Omgggg 😭😭😭 tysmmm

And yes, definitely! Here you go :)

You were just sitting at your desk, working at your desk and scribbling away on a piece of paper, noting down some pointers that were mentioned during your online lecture. Shifting between typing and scribbling with your pen, together with a heavy cold that came crashing down on you, like a relentless reminder that you should not be out of bed.

So, what did you choose to do with those reminders? Ignore it.

And if you think Bakugo’s gonna let your stubborness go on, you’re dead wrong, because he’s just as stubborn as you. He’s not going to stop forcing you back to bed, no matter how many times you get up. It’s now ten in the morning, and he’s carried you back to bed twice.

“Hey, dumbass, could you calm down for a second? Your work isn’t going anywhere, and you need a break. You hear me?” He asks in a gruff voice, unsure whether he admires your stubborn nature, or just downright hates it.

“Katsuki, please? It’s just some work, it’s not that much. It’s just a few papers,” you try to negotiate with him, not wanting to let up on this.

“Exactly. It’s work. You shouldn’t be working when you’re sick,” he argues back.

“Why can’t I? You do it all the time.” Hm. Fair point.

“Yes, but that’s because my work saves lives. As in, if I don’t work, people can die. But I don’t want you stressing over some stupid piece of paper when you’re sick,” he grumbles, hoping that his reasoning can counter your argument.

You wave him off, ignoring his words, and he’s had enough. He picks you up and places you back onto the bed, tucking you back in and holding you down as he forces you onto the mattress.

“Listen here. The sooner you get better, the sooner we can finally cuddle in bed properly without me or you getting sick. And you need rest,” he points to your eyebags, that have grown very obious.

“No. Katsuki, I really need to get that work done—“

“No, you don’t. What you need now, is some proper sleep to clear your head.”

“I… fine. But only if you promise me that you won’t go to work when you’re sick too,” you’re clearly not letting go without a fight.

“What? That’s a stupid deal. You already know I’ll never agree to that,” he scoffs, almost even offended at the idea.

“Katsuki,” you shoot him a soft glare, “please.”

He hesitates, and after a few minutes of consideration, he gives in.

“Fine. But only because you asked.”

His words make you grin, and he smiles slightly at that.

“Do I at least get cuddles in bed?” You ask him, hoping for a ‘yes’.

“Are you trying to make me sick? No. You can tell me you love me, though,” he chuckles with a smirk on his face.

“Ugh… fine… I love you, Katsuki,” you give him a sweet smile, right before closing your eyes.

“Love you too, dumbass,” he mumbles, stroking your head as you fall into a deep sleep.

just a quick thought at the top of my mind, so i hope you like it :)

[cuddlyjongho]

I absolutely love how you write jongho but I'm a few years older than him- is there in any way that you write him with a noona reader (someone who is older/respectful) doesn't have to be smutty I just need him to be flabbergasted by a lady

- raccoon anon

just kiss me already

idol!jongho x fem!reader

warnings: kinda smutty (?), suggestive, make out session

a/n - omg thank you so so much!! i don’t even do this properly, like i’m not a writer or anything i just started to post my thoughts when i was drunk one night lmao! so knowing that people are actually liking what i write is amazing 🥹 this is also my first ever request so it probably won’t be great but i will try my best for you! ❤️

there you were, at the concert you’ve been dreaming of attending for years. you finally get to see your favourite group, which also means you get to see your favourite person, jongho, for the first time too. you managed to get a front row ticket and although you didn’t think you’d get any interactions with ateez you still outdid yourself with your outfit - all black, sophisticated and sexy.

halfway through the concert jongho comes over to your side of the stage. he scans the front row and his eyes finally land on you, the moment you wanted so bad to happen. inside you were dying of excitement but you kept yourself composed and gave him the biggest smile. he smiled back and gave you a quick wink before he ran back to the group to start the choreo for the next song. your heart skipped a beat and you felt the heat rising in your cheeks.

jongho kept glancing over to you for the rest of the concert until they finished the last song, left the stage, and the lights turned back on in the arena. everyone around you was still losing their minds and you just sat there with a big smile on your face in disbelief with the attention you got from jongho.

as everyone was filtering out of the arena you started to get up to go too when a member of staff tapped you on the arm. you looked at them and they said to follow them. you were instantly scared, thinking you had done something wrong. they took you through a couple hallways backstage and then to a door. the member of staff said to go in. so you did just that, not knowing what you were getting yourself into.

as you stepped into the room, your eyes immediately met jongho’s. he got up from the sofa he was seated on and greeted you with a huge gummy smile. “oh my god… is this real?” you ask. he giggles and replies “yes, it is! i actually asked our manager to bring you backstage. i hope that’s okay with you?” “of course it’s okay!!” he giggled again in response. “you really caught my eye in the crowd for some reason, maybe it was because you were so calm and composed, you really stood out from the rest.” he explains. “well, if i had seen you when i was a teenager things would’ve been different, i would’ve been screaming your ears off.” you both laugh, “…but now that i’m in my late 20’s i’ve been enjoying concerts more when i’m relaxed and able to take everything in without just losing my mind”. you both laugh with each other again.

after talking for a little while, you notice that you’re both sitting a lot closer than you were before. you both look at each other, no words spoken… until, “you’re so hot” you accidentally blurt out. jongho then breaks eye contact, looking down at his fidgeting hands and giggling like a teenager with a crush, a rosy red colour creeping up into his cheeks. “please don’t tell me that i’m making THE choi jongho blush right now?!” you say to him. he looks back up at you and says, “is it bad if you are?” “not at all, i just didn’t know i had it in me to get you in this state” you reply.

a few minutes later, you notice him looking down to your lips every so often as you carry on the conversation. you wonder whether you should make a move, or even if he’s thinking about you in that way, but then you think of how he literally got his manager to pick you out of the crowd and bring you backstage for him. it’s not just a chat he wants right? he looks at your lips once again, so you say “with the way you keep looking at my lips it makes it look like you wanna kiss me”. “what if i do?” jongho replies quicker than you could process what he just said.

you suddenly put your arms around his neck and begin to kiss him. he leans into the kiss, putting his hands on your waist. you move closer, not breaking the kiss at all, and end up straddling his lap. you hear him softly moan into the kiss, still not believing you have this effect on him. you pull away, both of you panting for air. he bites his lip, moving his hands to your hips. he pushes you down into his lap, making you aware of what you’re *really* doing to him. you gasp and smirk, leaning in for another deep kiss.

just as both of your hands start roaming around each other’s bodies there’s a loud knocking on the door. “it’s almost time to go back to the hotel, jongho” a voice says. he looks at you and asks, “wanna come back to my hotel room to finish what we started, beautiful?” “fuck yes” you say, making both of you giggle.

let’s just say that it was a long night for you both. and enjoyable one at that.

[imaginestuffs]

Silly Bet- Eddie Munson x Reader

word count:2541

warnings: none, just fluff

summary: Gareth bet the kids that they wouldn't be able to talk to you. And when they win, they bring you to Hellfire to prove it, and that's when you meet Eddie, the boy you watched from afar who held a place in your day-to-day thoughts since you saw him.

(gif not mine!)

You had met Eddie in the summer of your first year in Hawkins, you had just moved there from California and everything was still so new to you. You had gotten there just as the spring semester had started, and you had been pretty well accepted. You weren’t popular necessarily, but you weren’t considered a nerd or freak by any means. People were relatively kind to you just as you were to them. You didn’t cause trouble and your grades were decently high. Usually, you sat at a table alone in the cafeteria just so you could read peacefully during the small break you had. At times there were people who would come and ask to sit with you and you would happily oblige especially when those people were kids who weren’t the most well-received. You never shied away from accepting people, it was just something you were taught to do and it made you feel better knowing that people could come up to you knowing they wouldn’t be turned away.

You would see Eddie and his friends sit at their table and have the most animated discussions and it always put a smile on your face. He was never afraid to cause a scene, whether it be making fun of jocks or just speaking as loudly as he could when he was passionate about something. It was something you admired about him really, it was just one more thing that caused your heart to grow fonder of him. Though you had never properly met him, you had a little place in your thoughts reserved especially for him. 

You knew he was known as the resident freak, or even ‘bad boy’ as some of the cheer squad called him. And to be honest, it intrigued you, it made you want to get to know him. You were definitely more reserved but didn’t turn someone down when spoken to. Sure you got nervous meeting new people and could be bashful at times but you learned to push through that and always see the positives.

You had just been introduced to the young group of boys you had seen sitting with him all the time. They had nervously walked up to you at your locker on the last day before the summer break. Introducing themselves as Dustin, Mike, and Lucas. You immediately smiled at them and introduced yourself to them as well. 

“Uh, (y/n)?” you heard a voice from behind you. You turned around and smiled at the sight of the boys. “Hello,” you greeted with a soft wave. They looked a bit awkward as they stood in front of you. “Did you guys need something?” you asked them. “Oh, um, we just wanted to say hi, we’ve seen you around, and seem really nice. You know, you’re still kind of new here so we thought we’d introduce ourselves. I’m Dustin,” the curly-haired boy told you and reached out his hand. Your smile brightened and you reached out to shake his outstretched hand. “This is Mike, and Lucas,” he pointed at the other two boys. “Well it’s really nice to meet you all, is there anything else you needed?” you asked and looked between the three of them. 

“Actually um, we made a bet with our friend Gareth, that we’d be able to talk with you. You know introduce ourselves,” Lucas explained. You nodded your head, “Oh, well what did he think I’d do? Not talk to you? That’s silly,” you said and shook your head. “That’s what we told him. I told him you were too nice to turn us down,” Dustin said and you chuckled. “Well, I’m really glad I got to meet you all, and tell your friend I said hello and he can talk to me whenever he’d like,” you said with a playful grin. 

“You know what, would you mind coming with us so that we can prove to Gareth that we aren’t lying?” Mike asked you. “Yeah, of course, I’d love to,” you said and closed your locker before walking through the halls with them. “So, do you guys have any plans for summer?” you made conversation. “Mostly D&D,” Dustin answered and you chuckled a bit. “My brother actually loves to play, he talks about it all the time,” you told them. Their eyes lit up, “Really, that’s awesome. What’s his name?” Lucas asked with a bright smile. “His name is Alex, he’s actually in your grade,” you explained. “What’s your last name, I might know him,” Dustin said. “Oh, Our last name is (l/n),” you informed them. “Yeah! I know him, he seems really cool, super friendly,” he said. “Yeah that’s him, not very shy is he?” you laughed softly. “Definitely not,” Dustin said with a smile. You approached the door and Mike held it open for you. “Thank you, Mike,” you said gratefully as you stepped into the room behind Lucas. You could feel eyes on you, and so you looked up from the floor to in fact see everyone staring at you. 

“Hi,” you waved softly at everyone. “You actually did it?” Gareth asked in surprise. “Who did what?” a familiar voice came from the doorway. You turned to the door just to see the boy that you just couldn’t shake from your thoughts: Eddie Munson. “Dustin, Lucas, and Mike got (y/n) (l/n) to talk with them. I bet them that they couldn’t,” Gareth explained. 

Eddie’s eyes moved around the room until they settled on you. “Well, isn’t that a surprise,” he said and you furrowed your brows. He smiled at your expression, he would never tell anyone but he swore you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. With your baby blue striped shirt neatly tucked into your white skirt, wearing hightops. 

He could barely look away from you, “And why is that surprising?” you asked and shifted your weight. You didn’t understand why but being in his presence made you a bit bashful. “Well, princess you don’t seem like the type to talk with freaks,” he explained. Heat flooded your cheeks at the pet name he used for you. “I wouldn’t say your freaks, you just enjoy different things than other people. I mean so does my brother and he’s not a freak,” you said with a small shrug. “I actually quite enjoy sitting in on my brother’s campaigns. He and his friends were usually my responsibility and I tended to enjoy watching them be so passionate about something,” you explained. Eddie looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “Your brother plays D&D and you enjoy it?” he asked slowly. You nodded your head, “Yeah, I honestly do. It’s actually pretty cool,” you said shyly. “Does this little brother of yours have a party?” he asked in curiosity. “Not currently, no,” you answered. “Well maybe you should drop by again, and we’ll see what happens,” Eddie suggested and it brought a warm smile to your face as you looked at him fondly. 

“I think that would be great. Where do you guys meet for the summer?” you asked. “Right here, princess,” he said gesturing to the room they were currently occupying. “How? The school is closed,” you asked in confusion. “Let’s just say that’s not a problem for me,” he said with a wink. You looked at him in surprise and just chuckled a bit. “Alright then, I guess, I’ll see you guys same time, next Friday?” you asked excitedly. “We’ll be here,” he said. 

After that day, you had begun to bring your little brother every Friday. Sometimes staying to watch seeing as it was ok with Eddie and the rest of the party. You had grown fond of the boys, and your small crush on Eddie had begun to grow. Over the next few weeks, you had grown closer to him, and would eventually end up hanging out outside of the club environment. 

The first time you hung out was on a Saturday night. He had asked if you’d like to watch a movie at his place and you said yes. It had become a regular thing for both of you. Sometimes you’d sneak out of the house just to go see him. 

Tonight felt different though.

You were over at Eddie’s place just sitting and hanging out like usual. Something about that night felt different, there was slight tension. You didn’t completely understand what was going on with him, he seemed distant, he seemed far away. 

“Hey, Eds,” you said and looked over at him lying next to you. “Hmm,” he hummed, letting you know he was listening. “Are you ok?” you asked nervously, playing with a loose string on your sweater. He could hear the nerves in your tone and turned to look at you. “Yeah, I’m fine, what makes you ask?” he wondered. “It’s just you seem tense and I’m worried. Have I done something wrong?” you asked worriedly. His big brown eyes widened at your worry, “What? Of course not, you’ve done nothing wrong. I just can’t get this girl out of my head,” he explained. Your heart sunk at the news. You had to have known that nothing was going to happen between you, but that little bit of hope always stayed floating around inside of your mind. 

“Oh, really, do I know her?’ you asked softly with a teasing smile. Trying your best not to let your hurt show. “I think you might, yeah,” he nodded his head with a big smile. “What’s she like?” you wondered as you sit up and cross your legs beneath you. “Well, she’s got the prettiest (e/c) eyes I’ve ever seen, her smile lights up a room, and she’s one of the funniest and most kind people I’ve ever met.” he began to explain. “Yeah?” you asked kindly, letting him know to continue. “She has never once disregarded anyone, and I swear her laugh is the most beautiful sound ever. She loves her little brother more than anything, and she treats the boys like they’re her family too. I mean, she’s smart, she likes D&D, sure she’s not metal but she’s soft and sweet, more often than not smells like roses,” he describes her, and it sparked a small thought in the back of your mind. Could he be talking about you? And to your utter surprise, he admits it. 

“Oh, right. And she’s sitting right next to me,” he said with a smug little smile as he watched you. Your eyes widened and a blush swept your cheeks in the dim lamp light. Your heart swelled at his words and you tried your best to bite back a grin. You delicately raise your hand to move a piece of hair away from his face, letting your fingertips linger against his cheek. “Well, she can’t get you out of her head either,” you said with a warm smile. 

He gently reached up to grab your wrist and place a kiss on it. “The second you walked into the club meeting for the first time, I knew that I couldn’t let you get away. You were too special, too sweet not to fall for,” he said and you averted your gaze. He sat up and let go of your wrist so he could carefully turn your face to look at him. Your eyes were bright, and your lips curved into a soft smile. 

“You know, I always saw you around but I never got the chance to talk to you until that day. I was more nervous than I had been in a long time, and I knew from the first time I saw you that I had to know you,” you revealed shyly. “I made you nervous?” he asked with a raised brow. “That’s all you got from that?” you asked with a chuckle. You could feel the coolness of his rings gently nipping at the warmth of your cheek. “Maybe,” he tilted his head and you giggled once more. 

“Can I ask you something?” he questioned and let his thumb stroke your cheek. You leaned into his touch and nodded, “Of course,” you answered. “There’s just something I’ve always wanted to do,” he continued dragging out his asking. You nodded again,” Ok, and what is that?” you asked raising your brow as you reached one hand up to take a hold of the hand that was resting on your cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly. You bit your lip lightly and nodded your head. He gently used his thumb to tug your bottom lip from between your teeth. He leaned closer and you let your eyes flutter shut, your lashes swept your cheeks. He admired you for a few seconds before pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was short and sweet, and just as he pulled away you chased after and kissed him once again. This kiss was longer, and more passionate than the one before, he let go of your cheek and moved his hands to rest on your waist. Slowly helping you as you pushed yourself to rest with a leg on either side of him. One hand was on his shoulder while the other rested on his cheek, making sure to keep him close. Your lips moved in sync for as long as your lungs would allow them to. You pulled away and let your eyes open, just to see a wide smile and those beautiful brown eyes staring back at you. 

“That was definitely more than I thought it would be,” he said and shook his head lightly. “And what is that supposed to mean?” you asked and let both hands come to rest over his shoulders. “Well, I definitely didn’t expect you to be on my lap, and I did not expect you to chase after me like that,” he explained and you blushed before going to move off of his lap. “Hey, no, you don’t have to move, I just wasn’t expecting that.” He said and moved to rest his hand on your thigh to keep you where you were, but light enough to let you move if you wanted to. You settled on his lap again and let your fingers run through his hair. “Plus, I thought it was pretty cute,” he teased and you swatted his shoulder before resting your head there. 

You felt him laugh and wrap his arms around your back, holding you flush against his chest. 

“You know, I’m pretty happy that Gareth lost that bet, although I would’ve found a way to make you mine anyway,” he said and kissed your head. You smiled against his neck, “And I was already yours before we even met,” you said and kissed his jaw. You felt him laugh again and hold you tighter. 

“I love you, princess,” he said and you pulled away to look in his eyes, “I love you too Eds,” you said and placed one last kiss on his lips.

“Bet this will scar the kids,” he whispered and you threw your head back in laughter. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the column of your throat. You looked back at him and just smiled, “Yeah, it just might,” 

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

No, but it does give you back some control, Kaz. Which honestly is an understandable feeling to want to have. But thinking about it, what’s gotta be worse than being both grounded-and in excruciating pain with much less function than he had previously?

Loss of control.

Even if I go with my headcanon of the capture being an organized thing between himself and Ocelot-that doesn’t mitigate it being traumatic or bad.

(Which obviously, is just a headcanon/theory: nothing I say in any of these posts is 100% proven canonically, this is just my own thoughts after all from context we receive within the game).

Anyway.

Taking aside the other factors (artificial limbs aren’t a guarantee that it makes things better, or easier. Extra weight, difficulties etc) thinking of the kind of personality Kaz has; that of a high-strung man eager to find his place and exert power over others (and if not power, then something akin to it, or mingled with other elements) a core element in that is control.

Being the one in charge. Someone who has enough of a position of authority to exert his will unto others. Whether that word comes from himself or Snake, he’s at the helm somehow.

After Kaz is rescued, he’s open about exactly how he’s feeling-

And honestly, a single look at himself, or even just how much pain he has got to be in on a day-to-day basis would tell him that he really doesn’t need to focus on that in order to remember. Frankly, I think he’d have a much harder time forgetting. After all, it’s been 9 years since the attack, and he’s still fueled so strongly by hate and revenge that it’s on his mind 24/7. Nothing else occurs to him, ever.

Angry enough that even after weeks in captivity, he’s fuming and chomping at the bit to get going again.

Sir the only thing you should be right now is unconscious.

But there is really only so much vulnerability a single person can take. Let alone someone like him.

Kicks help away.

If he’s in pain, it’s more than just a reminder. It serves as the one thing he has left to master. To be in charge of. Pain meds wouldn’t take all of it away. But it would ease it. Bionics wouldn’t take all of it away, but it might (or might not) help him. If he says ‘no’ to all of this, then he’s the one with the final say. Logically, it doesn’t make the most sense. After all, you can’t think or function properly in pain the way you could out of it.

Believe me I know.

I rely on aids myself, from time to time. I was a daily cane user for most of university.

A wheelchair for another trip. 

And there’s absolutely an argument to be made, that if he did take assistance. Help. That if he did get himself in less pain then he’d actually be exerting more control in the situation because now he’s the one that’s got a handle on it. He’s the one that took it back and brought it back to himself. Into a place where it no longer dominates him, but he dominates it.

But the longer he’s in pain, the angrier he can stay. Not to mention it provides an excuse for the anger. Now he’s not just in control of himself (so he thinks anyway, I’d argue the point with him myself if he was a living thing I could speak too) but kept mad and spitting. Mad enough to kill Skull Face, mad enough to keep going and going. Fueling his fire with self grown coals.

Because without that pain, that anger. Also comes loss.

Grief is one of the central themes to MGSV (a whole other post to be honest).  Grief and anger often times go hand and hand. Kaz isn’t a good person with good morals at the end of the day. A man who was so eternally displaced with his position in the world from the day of his birth, and really until his death that his solution was things like nation states and war economies. But you don’t have to be a good person, or a saint, to have been wronged in some fashion.

He's never been shy about admitting exactly what kind of person he is (in this regard, anyway)

And is there not, end of day, a large element of control rooted in things like this?

These are the sorts of ideologies Kaz holds: in his own words.

Like this:

Or this.

His lead, and Kaz's. (Since it's Kaz talking here that is not what is outright stated, but it's clear enough what Kaz might want, within these situations).

(One could also argue this is just morally corrupt people taking care of other morally corrupt people but that’d be a derailment. Another post would have to delve into that as well).

When he lost everything-his home, his limbs, he lost key elements of his control that he worked so brutally to build. Whatever scrap of it he can cling to and maintain, he will.

Obviously, Kaz is in a different place (and undoubtedly frame of mind by the 90’s) but in the 80’s, he’s holding strong to pain, grief, anger, and loss. Because if he lets go of the things that keep him fueled and furious, then all that’s left is all-encompassing grief.

And that must feel a whole lot harder to deal with to him (I’d think anyway) than being raging and fuming.