#and what is changed based on environment and circumstance

[zukkaoru]

i am once again astounded at the bsd fandom's ability to make everything about skk when, in fact, it has very little to do with skk

[recents]

idk i think what is interesting about astarion to me is the fact that you have a guy who started out an asshole (normal type) and then spent two hundred years in a very carefully and specifically crafted (by the writers of the game) Become A Terrible Person Or Die nexus. like it wasn’t just a Torment Nexus, he wasn’t just in hell, i feel like this is very important not to forget, he was in hell but it was specifically a hell designed to, over time, kill the empathy of anyone trapped in it, kill their brain’s ability to prioritize other peoples’ survival, to numb one’s conscience.

and then he gets yanked directly out of that nexus and despite that the fact that he spent, again, two hundred years in a situation that was sort of a rock tumbler for the human soul, there’s still a pebble left in there. and it’s a pebble that can be grown if placed in the right environment and provided with a support network.

so i think it becomes interesting because it really does i think force you to start thinking about the limits of free will even on as basic a level as the human personality. i think the fact that he becomes such a different character based on player choice, that his end morality is so hugely dependent on player choice, is uhhh. a big part of what the devs were going for probably.

it makes a lot of people really uncomfortable to acknowledge some bad people would be good people if literally nothing changed except they had a good support network and different circumstances. especially because it means the opposite is also true. which is even more uncomfortable.

you know that part in the beginning of fellowship of the ring where gandalf is talking about how gollum is ultimately only like that because of the ring and gandalf thinks his story is sad? astarion is kinda like if they sexualized gollum.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I feel like advice on loneliness comes in only three flavors:

"It's all mindset, learn to embrace being alone and you'll never feel lonely!"

"Your head is lying to you, you have friends and they love you!"

"Here's a list of places you can go to hang out with people and make new friends!"

Those are usually well-meant and I'm sure there are situations where they do help someone feel better - but they're definitely not universally applicable.

The first one is even plain wrong: connection is a basic human need. You can't just "change your mindset" and turn that off, the same way you can't turn off your need for food or air or mental stimulation. Humans are group animals. We absolutely need social interactions to stay healthy and sane. It is true that some people do not need a large number of friends and are happiest with just one or two close friends, and it is also true that some people prefer to fulfill their social needs in other ways than what's traditionally defined as friendship - but that's not something you can (or should) try to train yourself to do, that's just natural differences and preferences!

The only thing you could "train" yourself to do would be to learn to ignore your social needs and bury them deep down under layers of denial... and you don't need me to explain to you why that's a very unhealthy idea. It's sad enough that so many people have to do that to not lose their minds in loneliness, we certainly don't need to celebrate an unhealthy coping skill as a "superior mindset".

The other two at least get a bit closer to the truth: the solution for your unmet need is not to kill the need, but to fulfill it... but that's easier said than done, isn't it?

After all, "Don't worry, your friends love you!" doesn't help if you have no friends. Loneliness is not always "all in your head": Maybe you moved to a new place and don't know anyone there. Or you cut off contact with all your friends after a big fight. Or you grew up neurodivergent (or got mentally ill at a young age) and had no chance to learn how to make friends at the age most kids do, and by now you have been friendless for so long you don't even know where to start.

Same with "just go to a bar and talk to some new people" or "Take a pottery class and you'll meet some interesting people there" - that's not factually wrong, but also not helpful if the reason you feel lonely is that you struggle to make friends (or even struggle to just talk to people). Which can also be part of neurodivergence or mental illness, or just be a part of your personality (shyness), or be a result of isolating circumstances (like having spent a lot of time in a closed environment, for example a long hospital stay, and now feeling unsure how to connect with people outside of that environment). 

And those are just a few of the many, many possible explanations why someone may be lonely that require a more individualized approach - which is why we can’t solve loneliness with any one-size-fits-all solution.

That may be a somewhat disappointing-sounding conclusion in a letter on loneliness, so let me also tell you: hope and support are always within reach, even if it might take some time and patience to find them. The key is to remember that your feelings are valid and that you're not alone in your struggle.

First, recognize that admitting that you feel lonely, and wanting to take action based on that feeling, is a sign of strength, not weakness. You’re pretty insightful for recognizing your loneliness and super brave for wanting to reach out!

Secondly, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take small steps. Small, actually manageable steps are crucial in any healing journey! If it’s not an option to just go to the bar or that pottery class, then it’s okay to start somewhere else. Maybe a therapist, a support group, or even online communities can be valuable “training sessions” for social connections. Even reaching out to one single person can make a significant difference over time. Your journey to finding companionship and connection might be different from someone else’s, but that doesn't make it any less valid (or achievable!).

Lastly, do consider embracing new activities that you may enjoy - but not just for the sake of meeting others. It’s important to nurture your own happiness and well-being when you’re feeling lonely. Those can be activities you can try out alone and even at home, for now! Anything that enriches your life is good. Long down the road, maybe it will lead to opportunities to connect with others, but even if it doesn’t: it’s important to incorporate new experiences into your life.

While there isn't a universal solution to loneliness, I truly believe there is a path forward for everyone. It's all about finding what works for you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! It's me again. I'm probably pestering you, lol. I think a lotta people give flack for the Octavinelle trio being ruthless and "behaving like a Mafia." But I think considering where they live it makes sense? They live in the ocean. And the ocean is a kill or be killed environment, where you have to the strongest and toughest. If not? You at least have to be quick witted and unable to be seen, otherwise you'll be dead. If the trio become too soft they'll be fish meat.

I think the fandom is pretty divided when it comes to perceptions of what the Coral Sea is like. On one hand, you have the people who think of it as like living in Atlantica, which is basically just like living in a peaceful and pretty city (but underwater). Then you have the people who think the environment would be so different it would shape its inhabitants to behave differently as well. The second one tends to be a darker or grittier interpretation which aknowledges dangers such as other undersea creatures and treacherous living conditions.

Personally, I lean on and enjoy the latter, since TWST rarely ever designs purely for the aesthetic of it; one example of this is how the twins are confirmed to be bioluminescent in the Magical Archives. This is a decision that was not made “because it would look cool”, but because many deep sea creatures rely on this trait to intimidate potential predators. It would make more sense for the cold waters of the Coral Sea to change its people rather than merfolks’ cities simply being civilizations moved several leagues under, especially seeing TWST time and time again really consider the geography and history of each new location and how those inform the cultures that form there.

However, I want to state that the Coral Sea would be very different depending on which area you’re in, just like how there are nice parts and bad parts of a city. It’s not ALL nice or ALL bad. For example, the Atlantica Museum in book 3 appears to be in a more photic zone, so there’s more sunlight and it appears pleasant to be in. Even the merpeople there seem to be different than the Octatrio; they less so resemble specific sea creatures and are much more akin to being human-like. We have yet to really see how the benthic zones are—but we do know they must be harsher, since Floyd has mentioned exploring shipwrecks and various dangers there (like sharks).

I also want to point out that there are subtle signs in dialogue which could imply merpeople prefer traits that promote survivability and adaptability in the ocean. Azul’s bullies are noted to taunt him for his weight, but also for his bulky tentacles and inky tears. Now why those traits specifically??? Because these impede his ability to swim swiftly (making it harder to escape danger) and easily give away his location (if he’s in hiding or camoflauging).

I’ve seen others suggest that maybe these comments are because of racism against octopus merpeople, who are a rare kind of merfolk. This is entirely possible, yes! But thinking about it like that… Isn’t it also possible that there aren’t a lot of octopus merpeople at the moment because it’s more difficult for them to escape or to hide from predators? Which then informs and perpetuates preexisting prejudices. In this context (plus the bullying), it makes sense why Azul may have “hardened” as a defense and survival mechanism. The same goes for the twins, who were explicitly taught how to defend themselves (although this also goes into the Leech mob family theory, which is a whole separate matter) and have often made references to fighting others in the Coral Sea. Their upbringings also play a part in their personalities, but so does the environment they grew up in. Like Azul and the twins, you’d have to harden mentally or physically to some degree to ensure your survival through tough circumstances.

It’s hard to say for sure though! A lot of this is speculation based on current but infrequent lore, and the Octatrio themselves are a very small portion of all merfolk. They may not be representative of the behaviors of all other merpeople, and we should keep this in mind when referring to them as our exemplars. That’s why I’ve been hoping for a Coral Sea hometown event so we have a more concrete idea of what life under the sea is like 😭

[22foramen]

_____________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊

┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . Personal

┊ ┊ ⋆˚  Astro Observations #1

✧. ┊      

⋆ ★

DISCLAIMER! This post is based mainly on my natal chart, personal experience and opinions, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. I also included acquaintances' charts and their perspectives and confirmed my observations with the help of astrology databanks (celebrities' birth charts). If one (or more) of the observations in this post happen to be similar to other creators, please inform me, so I can tag their page. I am open to questions, opinions and debates. I do not own any of the photos on this post, they are just for ✨aesthetic reasons✨. Thank you for reading my post and I hope it will help you heal & find yourself💞.

#1

+18? TW!

Everyone can have an addiction, it is not limited only to the 12th house Lilith placement. But we can conclude that Lilith in the 12th house person is more inclined to get addicted to escapism than being dependent on the subject of addiction.

Let's say both the 12th and 8th house Lilith can deal with 🌽addiction. 8th house Lilith has a wound surrounding power and control, so they will search for a coping mechanism that will prove to themselves their own power and autonomy. For the 12th house Lilith, this is about a fear of perceiving the reality they are in (dissociation). Their wound encircles the toxic environment they live in, so they indulge in the most satisfactory and 'safest' type of escapism according to their circumstances.

#2

Lilith in the 12th house combined with noticeable 6th house placements can indicate prominent awareness towards their addictions or their ways to escape reality. That type of person who smokes but is fully aware of the consequences it has on their body. It makes sense because the 6th house is work, self-improvement and health-oriented (perhaps with health difficulties), therefore Lilith in the 12th house here can be a bit of a challenge in this lifetime, so they might be more motivated to heal. I think we can consider this dynamic not only for the 12th-6th houses but for all opposing houses.

#3

Having the Moon and Neptune in the same house might indicate an "illusion of comfort" in childhood, especially if the moon is badly aspected. It can be pinpointed to a confusing relationship with a parent; being gaslighted maybe. The house can represent in which area the confusion is/was. If this happens in the 10th house, there also might be a 'single mom' dynamic here, whether both parents were there or not.

#4

Taurus Rising with Scorpio Venus looks best when confident. Their eyes are very fierce when focused on their goal or task. Big cat energy🐅. They are like wild cats waiting for the right time to attack their prey 😩. 10/10 Certified mommy vibes. Period 💅

#5

Both the 22° Saturn and 22° Sun indicate a restricting father/paternal figure.

For the 22° Sun, the impact is 'more personal' and it affects their confidence and identity. These people's personalities might have been repressed in their childhood. In terms of how they have been repressed, we should check the Saturn placement and/or the Saturn Persona Chart.

For the 22° Saturn, the experience is more 'detached' in comparison with the Sun person. The individual might have a more grounded sense of self than the Sun person, but the Saturn Return period is going to be crucial. This can also imply a change in careers or finally healing something in regard to their career because Saturn rules Capricorn rules Medium-Coeli.

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

If I see one more post trashing on the Sonic movies just because they're not like the games and because of the human characters I'm going to explode and then punt the sun itself into their faces

GUUUYYYSSSSS. THERE'S THIS MAGIC THING CALLED A MULTIVERSE. THE SONIC MOVIES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THE GAMES, THEY ARE IN AN ENTIRELY SEPARATE UNIVERSE. YOU SHOULD NOT BE JUDGING THEM BASED ON HOW WELL THEY FOLLOW THE GAME CANON, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT THE GAMES. THE MOVIES AND THE GAMES CAN COEXIST AS SEPARATE UNIVERSES OF THE SAME CHARACTERS LIVING THEIR LIVES IN DIFFERENT WAYS, MKAY??

Once you accept this I can almost guarantee you'll be a much happier fan. I can testify. 😘

Sonic Wachowski ≠ Game!Sonic. Because they grew up in different environments and around different people in different circumstances, and that changed the way they turned out. I believe that if Wachowski grew up the same way Game! did, he would've turned out like Game! did. I also believe that if Game! grew up the same way Wachowski did, he would've turned out like Wachowski did. The core of this character is the same. In both the movies and the games, he's the fastest thing alive, he LOVES running, he loves his friends, he loves chili dogs, he loves living, and he will fight for what he believes is right. 💙

Just take into account the different worlds, the different lives, the different influences, and the fact that the movies are not trying to imitate the games (I thought this was obvious from day 1?) and it'll be a lot more fun in this fandom for you. In fact, you'll find you're a lot happier when you're actually taking time to love and appreciate the things you're interested in rather than just nitpicking about everything. 👌😜

And if you don't like the movies, you can kindly leave them be as well as all those of us who DO enjoy the movies. If you only like the games, stick to the games. 💙

[vigilskeep]

im rly enjoying hearing about bea, it’s always so impressive to me how you can make so many very different characters and yet they all feel complex and very grounded in the setting! do you have a process for coming up with them or do they just sort of fall into place?

ahh thank you!!!

i don’t know that i have a specific process exactly... i love making characters who are very grounded in their setting & origin so i kind of work up from that. for me everything is about backstory and how that feeds into motivation and big decisions

that can go in either order, so like: minerva’s basic character concept starts with me seeing the circle and saying ‘what if i make a character who really tried to fit in here and be everything this place wanted?’, in combination with the later-introduced addition once i knew more about the setting, ‘what would it be like to have tevinter elven heritage but end up in a southern circle?’ i only go from there—the backstory—to figuring out what this person’s goals might be as the grey warden, so minerva’s ambition and obsession with optics stem from that, and her decision to spare loghain, her choice of romance, etc. all from what i think someone with that background might do

keir’s basic character concept starts with my interest in some red hawke/anders dialogue i’d heard and the concept, ‘it’d be fun to play a hawke whose love is so clear and ruthless that the question of whether or not what anders finally does is morally acceptable is almost irrelevant because he’d stand by him even if it wasn’t. what kind of person would do that?’ so with him i’m doing it in the reverse order, i’m starting with the motivation and the big later decision and then “reverse engineering” the backstory, what his relationship with his family must be like, how the hawkes’ childhood affected him. and in funny ways that changed what i started with; technically the original concept is still true, but when i made keir so protective and dedicated and fierce to justify those depths of devotion, suddenly he was really angry and heartbroken after the chantry explosion regardless, because anders was willing to throw away the life that mattered so much to him, and because anders expected him to kill him, which is the antithesis of his entire character and suggests anders might not know him very well at all. that’s the best thing, when they start coming to life in ways i didn’t expect

coming up with inquisitors i can stick to is harder for me because they don’t have what the warden and hawke have, which is a clear backstory environment and cast of characters i get to work with for those building blocks. so the reason i find trevelyans so much easier than other inquisitors to make is that i know a little about medieval history and how christian(-coded) nobility works, so it’s very very easy for me to like... figure out the “cast” i might be working with and play barbies with the setting and decide how some people might turn out. i think the eagle-eyed can notice that when i come up with a new inquisitor, it’s usually an idea for backstory and how that makes a character, even if a simple one, like: “what if i play a very privileged member of the carta who’s never fought like this before in her life?” “what if i play an older dalish character who has leadership experience?” “what if i play a pious young noblewoman who’s not yet had any experiences that break that mold?”

for me i very much believe setting is closely closely intertwined with character. it’s why i find it really difficult to make one in a setting with less hard rules, like bg3. i believe that people, based on whatever circumstances they grew up in, learn a set of logic and behaviours and frames of reference for how they think they can best deal with situations. that’s defined by your “personal” backstory, your family and your life and so on, but also by your place in the world. what were you taught about who you are and who other, different types of people are in comparison? where do you come from? what’s your religion? how much money are you accustomed to having? who in this world do you look up to? i don’t believe in making characters in isolation from all that, i’m not sure how it can be possible. it’s why i’m so passionate about dragon age, because it gives me a world that is so full and varied with options of where to come from, but also has so much room with blank spaces for you to write into and characters who can have very nuanced individual experiences that still belong in thedas. i really love it jgshsksk

i hope any of that made sense 😭

[five-rivers]

Turpentine

An AU following the same 'ages' concept as Baroque. You do not have to read Baroque to understand this.

.

As a superhero, ghost-based or otherwise, Danny tended to be hyper-aware of changes in his environment.  So long as he wasn't sleep-deprived, anyway.  Which he was.  Frequently.  But Frostbite didn't spar with him when he was sleep deprived, so, when he called a time out to their bout, he wasn't.  

"Is everything alright, Great One?" asked Frostbite.  

Danny, a little out of breath despite not needing to breathe - it was a psychological thing, okay? - shrugged and pointed.  "What's that?"

Frostbite turned to look and stiffened.  Danny didn't blame him.  The sight had surprised him, too.  A flat, black disk, about the size of his pinky fingernail held at arm's length, hung in the Ghost Zone sky, over what had formerly been its brightest part.  It looked like an eclipse, only with a lot less light escaping from around the edges.  

"Oh, dear," said Frostbite.  

"What is it?" 

Frostbite turned and flew quickly out of the training stadium.  

"Driftice!" he called.  "The age is turning!  We need the telescope!"

"The telescope?" asked Danny, matching his pace with Frostbite's.  

Frostbite spared a moment to smile down at Danny.  "It's very impressive, I think you'll like it."

Danny nodded.  He’d never met a telescope he didn’t like.  

By the time they reached the buildings proper, yetis were starting to stop and stare at the black spot.  A few of them would then start running, doing something, but others just… kept staring.  

“The telescope!” Frostbite called again.  That spurred a few more yetis into action.  He started giving people directions.

Soon, they were dragging a long, ridged tube from within one of the larger caves and hooking it up to all sorts of equipment.  The lens inside winked at Danny, its curve seeming highly exaggerated for the length of the telescope, until Danny realized it must be made out of ice, which didn’t bend light as much as glass.  

… He may have looked into making a few ice telescopes of his own.  Hey, having a hobby under his circumstances was hard!

“What’s going on?” asked Danny, after Frostbite paused in his orders.  “Are we being attacked or something?”

“Not… as such, no.”  Frostbite looked back up at the black spot, clearly worried.  “Every so often, the Realms… change.  We call it the turning of the age.  It begins with the color of the ambient ectoplasm, and the color tends to indicate the character of the age.  So far, we have been experiencing a green age, which tends towards the more natural or chaotic, with differences between ghosts exaggerated.  With ghosts themselves exaggerated to a degree.”

“Okay,” said Danny, “so… it’s not normally like this?”

“Normal is relative.” Frostbite waved his hand as if dismissing the entire concept.  “Ages can last from anywhere from one year to thousands.  This one has lasted only a few hundred.”

“And I’m guessing black isn’t a good color?”

“It is somewhat more complicated than that.  It is possible that it isn’t true black, which is why we’re looking.  To make sure.  It could be a very deep blue, or green, or red, which tends not to be terribly comfortable, but is still bearable.  It could be the color of a starry night, which is a good deal better.  It could be a color we do not have the senses to see directly, such as ultraviolet or infrared, both of which give rise to rather alien ages, but…”

“But black?” prompted Danny.  

“I do hope it is not truly black,” said Frostbite.  “How to put this… There are certain popular conceptions of afterlives, and other… let us call them worlds beyond worlds, yes?”

Danny nodded, not sure where this was going.  “Like heaven and hell, or the Greek underworld?” he asked, to clarify.

“Indeed,” said Frostbite.  “The Realms reflect those.  Or, perhaps, they reflect the Realms.  Again, the color is the indicator.”

“So, what does black mean?  Hell?”

Frostbite shook his head.  “No.  Hell is red, and… to be truthful, Great One, despite all the woes that come to the fore when we become demons, red ages have positives as well.  Black, true black, is… nothing.”

“Nothing?” repeated Danny.  He was hoping he was misunderstanding.

“Nothing,” confirmed Frostbite.  “Cessation.  Nonexistence.  Not Ending, but stopping.  It is–”

“You’re going to die?”

“No,” said Frostbite.  “As I said, no Ending.  Typically.  But… if the age is truly black, then we will cease to exist until the next age, only returning when it turns again.  It is not sleep.  It is not death.  We simply will not be.”

Danny wasn’t sure if that was better, and he was sure that showed on his face, but Frostbite didn’t look all that enthused, either.  

“The black ectoplasm will spread from where it began, affecting other ectoplasm constructs, including ghosts, on contact.”

“So, if it touches you, you just… stop existing?”

“There is generally a small amount of time between contact and cessation, but… yes.”  Frostbite turned more fully to Danny.  “That is why, if the age is true black, you must leave and not return until the age changes again.”

“What?  Why just me?”

“Think, Great One.  We are fully ghosts.  We cannot survive without ectoplasm.  Yes, some might try to hide in the human world, and avoid the touch of the black.  Some might even succeed.  But they will be much weakened, perhaps even to Fading, should the age last long at all.  But here, we will return, even if much time has passed.  But for you… You are different.”

“Because I’m a half ghost.”

“Yes,” said Frostbite.  “You may be affected just as we are, but imagine, what might happen to you if you suddenly lost your ghost half?”

“I’d… lose my powers, at least,” said Danny, swallowing against sudden nausea.  That was a little too close to what had happened in the bad future, even if it was in the opposite direction.  

“Yes, and if that happened here, while the black was coming, you would not be able to escape.  You would simply fall, unless you managed to hit something.  What is the other option?”

Not one Danny wanted to consider.  “I might… die.”

“And your ghost might come back at the end of the age, or… it might not.  I do not mean to frighten you unduly, Great One, but let me say it again: if the age is black, leave, and do not come back.  Close your portal, leave town, go where you will not be found.”

“Because other ghosts might be affected and bring it through the portal?”

“Because the portal itself would go black, and radiate throughout your town before collapsing.”

“Oh,” said Danny, softly.  “Okay.”

“I would not wish to come back to this world, only to find that you were unmade by black ectoplasm.  I would far prefer to learn that you had died after a long and happy life.”  He smiled.  “But the age might not even be black!  There could be stars, or–”

“Chief Frostbite,” said one of the technicians, nervously lacing and unlacing his fingers. 

“Yes, Flashfreeze?”

“It’s black.”

.

“I’m so sorry, Danny,” said Jazz.  

“It’s not like anyone is dying,” said Danny, mouth dry.  No one but him, if he screwed up.  

No one but him, Vlad, and Dani.  

“It’s still a loss,” said Jazz, who looked like she wanted to cry herself.  “How are we going to tell Mom and Dad?”

“I–”  He hadn’t made a decision to tell them anything.  “I don’t know.”

“They won’t close the portal unless one of us says something,” said Jazz, which was very true.  “We’re going to have to tell them, especially if we have to move away to get away from the natural portals.”

“I know,” said Danny, hunching his shoulders.  

“I know,” said Jazz.  “This is awful, but…  I don’t want you to die, Danny.  I don’t even want you to have to lose your powers.”

“I know,” said Danny.  “I know.  I’m just…  I think I need to talk to Vlad first.”  Vlad was out of town for the rest of the weekend for some business thing, but he’d be back on Monday.

“What?” asked Jazz, making a face that was a very appropriate reaction to Danny suggesting they talk to Vlad.  

“He studied the same stuff they did.  He’ll know how to explain it to them.  And he might know how to find Dani.”

Jazz cursed softly under her breath.  “I didn’t even think–  You haven’t heard from her lately?”

Danny shook his head.  “Last time, she was in Eastern Europe and it was a payphone.  She’d broken the burner Sam got for her and couldn’t get a new one.”

“Crap,” she said.  “Wait, what about Valerie?  Isn’t her board powered by ectoplasm?”

“I don’t know,” said Danny, chewing his lip.  “Maybe.  Oh, gosh, what if she falls out of the sky or something?”  He rubbed his face.  “Do I have to tell her, too?”

“Maybe we can get Mom and Dad to warn her,” said Jazz, in a blinding display of optimism.  “Maybe after we tell them, they can make a public service announcement or something.”

“Maybe,” said Danny, significantly more dubious.  “I just– I think I need to tell Vlad first, that’s all.”

Jazz nodded, then paused.  “We have time?”

“Yeah, it didn’t look like it was getting any bigger from where I was,” said Danny.  “Frostbite said it could take months for the age to completely flip over, depending on stuff like where it started.”

“Okay,” said Jazz.  “Then we can wait until you tell him.”

“Okay,” said Danny.  “Great.”  He rubbed his arms.  He itched to leave, to run, to fly and put this behind him, but…  The idea of a touch of black, then falling–  

Jazz hugged him.  “It’s going to be alright,” she said. 

Danny hugged her back.  “I hope so.”

.

“Anyway,” said Danny, picking at a sliver of veneer that had come off Tucker’s desk.  It was only attached by one end.  “That’s it, I suppose.  The end.”

“That’s… a lot,” said Tucker.  “Are you… okay?”

“Not really,” said Danny.  “It’s–  Maybe it’s a good thing?  I won’t have to fight ghosts anymore and all that, right?”  He rubbed his eyes.  

“I mean, maybe?  I’m a little… stunned about it, too.”

“So am I,” said Sam.  “It’s just going to disappear?  All of it?”

“Yeah, apparently.”

“How long?”

Danny shook his head.  

“Oh my gosh.”  Sam got up from the beanbag chair and started to pace.  “It’s just, we have friends there.  And they’re just going to–?  Are you sure we can’t do anything?”

“Frostbite was pretty sure,” said Danny, curling up.  

“But–”

“I don’t want to die again, Sam.”  That brought Sam’s pacing to a stop.  “I’ll always fight if it seems like there’s a chance, but.  I really don’t want to die.”

Sam sat back down.  

“Frostbite really made it sound like there was nothing we could do,” continued Danny.  “He’s been around for a while, you know?  It sounded… It sounded like he’s done this before.”

“Okay,” whispered Sam.  “What do you want us to do?”

Danny shrugged, then made himself laugh.  “Get into whatever college I do?  That’s a joke.”

“Hey, you tell us where you’re going, and we will,” said Tucker.  “Fast as anything.”

“At least the same city,” said Sam.  

.

Danny had to ring the doorbell three times before Vlad opened up.  Jerk.  

“Why, Daniel,” purred Vlad, who had clearly just been taking his time, “are you skipping school for this?”

“Shut up,” said Danny, already annoyed by Vlad’s whole… everything.  “We need to talk.”

“By all means, come inside.”

Vlad’s mansion was as opulent as ever.  

“Can I offer you some breakfast?  Guaranteed not to come alive.”

Danny forced down the thought that soon his home wouldn’t be at risk for that, either, and shut the door behind him.  “No thanks,” he said, and began to share what Frostbite had told him.  

As he did, the smug look slipped off Vlad’s face, replaced with something stonier.  

“I’ll have to confirm independently, you understand,” he said.  It didn’t sound like a taunt or a joke, just a fact.  

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.  I have to go to school, so don’t get yourself killed.”

“I’m touched by your concern, Daniel, but unlike your father, I do understand basic lab safety.”

That had to be a new addition since college, but Danny kept the snark behind his teeth and just let the door bang behind him on his way out.

.

Vlad was waiting in the parking lot for him when school got out.  

“Why’s he here?” asked Sam.  

“Probably because he’s just as freaked out as I am,” said Danny.  He sat down on the steps.  “I’m going to wait for Jazz.”

“You sure, dude?” asked Tucker.  

“I’m sure.”

“Okay,” said Tucker, dubiously.  

“Call us if you need us to kick some vampire butt.”

“Got it.”

Danny only had to wait a few more minutes before Jazz came out.  “Why’s he here?”

“Dunno,” said Danny, getting up and brushing off his pants.  “Want to find out?”

They walked over to the running car.  It wasn’t quite a limo, but it was long, and the back seats faced each other.  

“So?” asked Danny, climbing in.  

Vlad looked wrecked.  “You were right,” he said.  

“Wow, no kidding.”

Vlad waved off his sarcasm.  “This is not time for jokes, Daniel, I–  Jasmine.”

“Vlad.”

“I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Well, you get both of us or none of us,” said Danny.  “You can drop Jazz off at home just as easily as you can drop me off.”

“And Jasmine’s car?”

“Aren’t you rich or something?” asked Jazz.  “Just drive me back.”

Vlad rolled his eyes.  “I can send someone to come pick it up.”  He leaned over to close the door after Jazz, then tapped on the closed divider between them and their driver.  The car started forward.  

“So, you’ll tell them?  Our parents?” asked Danny.  

“I’ll try.  But do you really think that will stop them?”

“Yes,” said Danny, forcefully.

“If they know it’s something that could hurt Danny, they’ll stop.”

“I certainly hope you’re right,” said Vlad.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Vlad’s sneer was a shadow of its former self.  He looked genuinely ill.  “Daniel, they already know their research has hurt you.  Or do you think they forgot about bringing you to the hospital after your accident with the portal?”

“That’s different.”  That was an equipment problem, not an issue with the content of their research itself.

“Is it?  They are very aware that the same research landed me in the hospital for years, no matter how much they like to ignore that little fact.”

Normally, Danny would dismiss this as just another ploy of Vlad’s, an attempt to turn him against Jack and become Vlad’s evil apprentice, but…  Not today.  There was a little too much truth to his words.  

“Did they even put up any safety measures after that?  How about when they learned their portal was spewing dangerous ghosts into town at all the hours of the day and night?”

“They did,” said Jazz, although her tone rang false to Danny.  It was true that they’d installed the doors on the portal, and the ecto-exodus alarm, but… for all they claimed to be dedicated to protecting people from ghosts, they hadn’t done much else.

Vlad leaned back.  “As I said, I hope you’re right, for both our sakes.  Based on my calculations, we should leave town before the month is over, to be safe.  If they haven’t left by the thirtieth, I advise you to come with me.  My lawyers can sort everything out after the fact, and if not, I have enough contacts to be able to create entirely new identities for both of us.”

“Do you have any idea how threatening that sounds?” asked Jazz, peeved.

“It’s a service Daniel might find himself in need of, if Jack and Maddie are unreasonable.  I have no intention of dying or letting Daniel die because of this.”

The declaration made Danny feel better.  Not much better, but better.  

The car rolled to a stop.  “In the meantime, I will try to use less drastic measures.”  Vlad raised an eyebrow.  “The question now, I think, is whether or not you will tell them.”

Danny hunched his shoulders and fiddled with the door handle.  “Yeah,” he said.  

“Excellent.  Then we can begin.”

“Wait,” said Danny.  

“What?” asked Vlad, flatly, clearly annoyed.

“Do you know where Dani is?” asked Danny, reluctant to bring Vlad into this particular problem, but unwilling to give up even the thinnest lead.

Vlad gave him a baffled look.  

“Danielle,” clarified Danny, annoyed.  

“Yes,” said Vlad.  “Don’t look so surprised, Daniel.  We may have parted on less than amicable terms, but she’s still my daughter.”

“You tried to melt her.”

“A misunderstanding.”  

Danny wasn’t sure how that could be a misunderstanding.  

“We all do unwise things under the influence of our passions, Daniel.  The important thing is that we rise above them.  You’ll understand someday.”  He climbed out of the car. 

“I hope not,” muttered Jazz.  

Then, some of the conversation’s implications caught up with Danny.  

“Wait,” he said, phasing through Jazz to get out fast and jogging after Vlad.  “Wait.  You don’t expect me to tell them now, do you?”

“Daniel, there is no time.  Tell them now, or tell them never.”  Vlad opened the door and walked in like he owned the place.  

“Vladdie!” exclaimed Jack, who had been tinkering at the kitchen table.  He leapt up and embraced Vlad, swirling him around.  Vlad looked like he wanted to die again right then and there.  

“Hello, Jack, is Maddie home?”

“Yes,” said Maddie, coming up the stairs from the lab.  Her voice was about as warm and cuddly as sandpaper left in Antarctica for three months.  “What do you want, Vlad?”

“I have discovered some disturbing news,” he said, “but I’m afraid that much of it will only make sense in the context of what Daniel is about to tell you.”

Everyone looked at him expectantly.  Jazz gave him a small thumbs up.  

Danny very much would have liked to strangle Vlad.  If someone had to out themselves, why couldn’t it be him?

“What is it, Danno?” asked Jack.  

Danny swallowed.  “Do you remember that time I got shocked by the portal?”

.

As far as reveals went… it was neither everything he’d feared nor everything he’d hoped for.  There had been a lot of shouting.  No one thought he was dead or possessing his own corpse.  Jazz had accidentally outed Vlad somewhere in the middle of an argument.  He was able to go to sleep in his own house without being afraid he was going to be dissected.  His parents had agreed to start the process of shutting down the portal.  The only reason he wasn’t super ultra forever grounded for the rest of his life was because of the whole ‘might die soon’ thing.  

It was exhausting.  Danny didn’t know if he was glad it was over or not.  

This whole week was exhausting.  

He pressed his face into his pillow and swallowed back tears.  He was going to miss his friends. Heck, he was going to miss his enemies.  

He didn’t want to die.

.

Every time he went to school that week, every time he went to Sam’s, or Tucker’s, or the Nasty Burger, or anywhere in town, he was acutely aware that it might be the last time he was in any of those places.  Every time he went ghost, he understood that this time might be it.  Every time he shooed off an animal ghost or spotted Valerie in the hall, or saw the green glow of ectotechnology–

It was ending.  It was all ending.  At least for Danny.  

He wanted to hold onto it.  He wanted to stop time - and wasn’t that a temptation?  To try to find Clockwork?  But he’d learned his lesson about meddling with time, and there was no guarantee Clockwork was even still…  

Danny settled on the word awake.  

So, he did his best to savor it all, even the bad parts.  It didn’t always work very well.  There was too much tension, too much fear.  

Tension and fear did wonders for his Doomed score, though.  He was actually close to beating Sam, for once.  

Except, no he wasn’t.

“No, no, no,” said Danny as Sam pulled a power move out of nowhere.  “Argh!”  Annoyed, he pushed his rolling chair back so he could stare more directly at Sam, where she was playing on the other side of Tucker’s attic.  She wasn’t even looking at the screen, but staring over her shoulder to grin smugly at Danny.  “You suck,” he said.  

“No, that’d be you.  You know, the one whose screen says ‘you died’ on it?”

“Ha!” exclaimed Tucker.  “I’ve got the key!”

Danny turned back to the computer and started smashing the resurrect button.  

Danny’s phone began to ring.  He juggled it open with one hand.  “Hi, sorry, Jazz, I lost track of time and–”

“Don’t come home,” said Jazz.  

“What?”

“They–”  Jazz inhaled sharply, angrily.  “The ectoweenies are dead.”  

Danny’s hand fell still.  “What do you mean… dead?”

“They’re just.  They’re hot dogs!  Rotting hot dogs.  I don’t–  I think they’re experimenting with it.  Mom and Dad.  I overheard–  I think they found some, and they’re experimenting with it, and some of them got into the fridge full of stuff we eat because neither of them ever heard about lab safety, and I don’t know if it’s safe for you to be around me, Danny.”

The death jingle played tauntingly over the speakers, three times over.  

“What- Why wouldn’t it be safe for you to be around me?”

“For you to be around me.  I could have black ectoplasm on me and not even know it.  I don’t think it’s really detectable without an energy signature, is it?”

“Jazz,” said Danny, voice cracking.  “Do you– Why?”  He gasped.  “Why would they–?”

“I don’t know.”

“You have to know!”  Danny had to know!

“They said something about fixing– I don’t know if I heard it right.  I just–”  Her voice crackled over the phone.  “Go to Vlad’s.  Forget whatever they promised.  Leave now.  I’ll– If they ask, I’ll say you’re in bed.”

Danny closed his eyes.  His face was wet.  “Okay,” he said.  “Okay.  I– I love you, Jazz.”

“I love you, too, little brother.  Stay safe.”  She hung up first.  She must have known he wouldn’t.  

“You have to go, don’t you?” asked Sam. 

“Yeah,” said Danny, hoarsely.  He scrubbed at his face.  “I do.  But… I will see you guys again.”

Tucker nodded.  “You’ve still got our numbers and our Doomed codes, right?” 

Sam threw a pen at him.  “Not the time?”

“Then when is the time?” demanded Tucker, rubbing the back of his head.  “When is the time, huh?  When he’s gone and can’t contact us because he doesn’t have our phone numbers?”

“I have them,” said Danny.  “Memorized.  I– I’ll call.  As soon as it’s safe.”

“You’d better,” said Sam.  

He hugged them.  

(He hoped it wasn’t the last time.)

.

The sun was just beginning to set when Danny reached Vlad’s house, and the comparison between the darkening sky and the darkening Ghost Zone made him shiver.  He bypassed security and knocked on Vlad’s door.  

“Daniel?  What are you doing here?” Vlad asked.  Unlike before, he was wearing clearly casual clothes.  “Did something happen?”

“You were right,” said Danny.  “They didn’t stop.”  Danny’s voice cracked and he swallowed.  “Jazz says we need to leave, now.”

“Oh, Daniel,” said Vlad.  “I’m so sorry.  Genuinely, I would have preferred them to see reason, for both our sakes.’”  He reached back inside and grabbed a pair of long coats.  The first he threw at Danny, the second he put on around his own shoulder.  “Can I assume that second bag is your ‘go-bag?’”

Danny nodded.  He’d kept one at the school, and hadn’t brought it home after the reveal.  He hadn’t thought to.  He’d raided his locker on the way to get it, and before he’d left Tucker had shoved a lot of other stuff at him that had gotten squished either into his backpack or the go-bag.  

“Good.”  Vlad knelt and phased a hand through his entryway tile before pulling out a hefty duffel bag of his own.  “Then we don’t need to wait.  I’ve had my plane fueled and ready to go at a moments’ notice since you told me.”  He took two steps back into the house.  “We will transform and fly there invisibly, to avoid notice.  Can you maintain that for the entire journey?”

“Yeah,” said Danny, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.  

“Don’t let your pride get in the way.  Can you?  Surely, you’ve noticed our abilities becoming more difficult to access.”

Danny had thought that was just him.  Some kind of psychological thing.  But if Vlad had noticed it, too…  “I can do it,” he said.  

“Good,” said Vlad, transforming.  “Follow me.”  He turned invisible and flew through the ceiling.  

Danny paced him.  “So, where are we going?” he asked.  “On the plane,” he clarified, catching Vlad’s look.

“For now?  Missouri.  I have properties there that I never involved in my research and which should be safe for us.  Afterwards, we will be able to assess our situation and move from there.  I will have to contact my lawyers - our lawyers, now.  The child endangerment and neglect case against your parents will have to be absolutely airtight, which shouldn’t be too difficult, considering the deathtrap they have downstairs and how long I’ve been collecting evidence.”

Danny wrinkled his nose.  “And how long have you been collecting evidence?”

“Quite some time.  Don’t forget, I’ve just been vindicated, Daniel.”

He wouldn’t.  Not for a long, long time.  “Is there anything else I ought to know?”

“I was able to get into contact with Danielle earlier today,” said Vlad.

“What did she say?”

“Not much to me,” said Vlad, with a hint of wryness.  “She wants to hear everything from you before she believes anything I say.”

“And you didn’t call me?”

“She hung up on me.  Don’t worry, she’s far away from any major supernatural hotspots.  I thought I’d give her time to cool down and then contact her again while you were present.”

“Fine,” said Danny.  “Where is she?”

“Poland, at the moment.”  

They reached the airport and descended into the plane.  Danny let go of his invisibility with a heavy sigh as Vlad went about turning on the lights.  

“Our pilot will be here momentarily,” said Vlad.  “Make yourself at home.”

Home.  Danny put his bags on his lap and hunched around them.  He’d been bracing himself for this.  Really.  He’d known he was going to have to leave for a whole week, now.  

It still felt worse than getting thrown clear through a building.  

.

“It’s true,” said Danny, looking out the landscape windows of Vlad’s Missouri estate.  “I’m with Vlad, the Ghost Zone isn’t safe, the…”  He trailed off, not wanting to recap everything.  “I’m the one who told Vlad it was happening.”

“Okay,” said Dani, voice small and distant.  “So… What should I do?  If even your powers are getting harder to use…”  She trailed off, but she didn’t have to finish the sentence.  In more ways than one, Dani’s existence depended on the careful use of her powers.  

“Let Vlad bring you back here.  It’s– I know,” he said in response to Dani’s groan.  “I know.  But he doesn’t actually want either of us dead, and he’s got, you know, resources.  And– And I don’t want you out on the streets in a foreign country, okay?”

“All countries are foreign to me,” grumbled Dani.  “I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Please,” said Danny.  “Even if it’s just long enough for him to set us up in a boarding school or give us our own apartment or something.”

“You think he’d do that?”

“I have no idea,” admitted Danny.  “He’s rich enough to.  Please come, Dani.”  Vlad was… not being as terrible as he could be, about all this.  Actually, he was being… fine.

There was a long silence on the other end of the line.  “Alright,” she said, finally.  “I’ll come.”

.

Living in Missouri…  Well, living in Vlad’s version of Missouri was beautiful, lavish, luxurious.  Vlad was definitely going all out.  But every day Danny spent here, it felt more and more like living in a photograph.  The sunlight, the grass, the leaves on the trees… it all felt flat, as if something vital had been drained from underneath the world.  Even sitting in the garden, bare feet in the fountain, felt unreal.  

Danny didn’t know if that was just him, or if it was another side effect of the Ghost Zone going dormant.  He hoped it was just him.  That would mean it might go away if he got a grip.

“Daniel,” said Vlad, shoes crunching along the gravel path.  “I think you’ll be pleased to know the court case is going well, and I am attempting to develop a decontamination procedure that might allow Jasmine to visit us here someday.”

“Okay,” said Danny.  He swished his feet through the water.  “Do you feel like…”  He sighed, not being able to find the words.  

“Every day,” said Vlad, sitting down next to Danny.  “We won’t be able to stay here longer than a year.  Our own ectoplasm will tend to form a thin spot.”

“That’s fine,” said Danny.  “Dani likes traveling.”  She liked traveling, and hopefully Vlad would hurry up and get her fake passport made already.

“I hope you will come to like it, too…  Although, I’m not sure we’ll need to keep up that pace for very long.  Our ectosignatures are fading.  I suppose we owed more of our powers to the Ghost Zone proper than I expected.”  He shook his head. “In any case, we should look towards the future.  Our futures.  You want to be an astronaut, don’t you?”

“Does that even matter, now?”

“Daniel, you are aware of how rich I am, aren’t you?  I could buy NASA.”  Vlad’s dramatic gestures matched his words.  He even went as far as to light his hands with pink ectoplasm.  Danny watched them flicker through the reflection in the basin of the fountain.  

“No, you couldn’t.”

“No,” said Vlad, lowering and extinguishing his hands, “I couldn’t.”  He kept looking up at the sky.  “It’s strange, isn’t it?  It’s strange.  All this power we’ve had, and our passions, all our goals, simply… remained out of our reach.  But now we’re losing them.  Our powers.  Our passions.”

“Do you think we’ll find them again?” asked Danny.  

“Perhaps.  Perhaps if we live long enough, if we fight hard enough.  You do want to be an astronaut, don’t you, Daniel?”

Danny looked up, but not towards Vlad.  He focused on the thin, faint gibbous moon, visible even in daylight.  

“I guess,” he said. 

Vlad patted his shoulder as he stood.  “There,” he said.  “Then we should start discussing your education, little badger!  You can’t become an astronaut by moping around my mansion all day!”

Danny turned his head to regard Vlad with a mixture of disbelief and disgust.  “Don’t call me that, fruitloop.”

“That’s more like it!  Now, come along.  We have tutors to vet!”

.

Thinking about potentially doing more with this continuity.

[cannedbeefaroni]

March Of The Pigs: The Bad Touch Pt. 2 (Edward Nashton X Reader)

Part 1

Summary: You can't save Edward Nashton when the whole system is rigged against its patients. Desperate times call for desperate measures

Content: SMUT 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, MEDICAL MALPRACTISE, MANIPULATION, POWER IMBALANCE (for those reasons, i consider this fic to be DUBCON), VIOLENCE, Reader and Edward have a bit of a role reversed Harley Quinn and Joker dynamic, Edward is described to struggle with hypersexuality and paraphilias (based on how the reader is described, they also have those issues), handjob, penetrative sex (not specified whether its anal or vaginal), exhibitionism (public sex), physical restraints, degradation

Y/N is referred to in second person as you/yours and is written to be entirely gender neutral.

(I'm sorry this is pretty short)

You were so fucking sick. Sick of yourself trying to assimilate into this corrupt, archaic environment, thinking you had any sort of power to be the change you wanted to see. You thought working at Arkham Asylum would give you the opportunity to help the outcasts and undesirables of society. It was stupid of you to assume that would ever be the case. All you achieved was becoming a pon in a system that only benefits the top 1%. There was no such thing as helping anybody, only imprisonment and torturous treatment, pretending to the rest of the world that something good was being done. You weren’t better, you realize how selfish you had become at the hands of this job. At this point, you weren’t even sure who was to blame: you, the given circumstances, or Edward Nashton. You knew what he was capable of, so it infuriated you seeing how small and weak he chose to become. Watching him be manhandled by guards on nearly a daily basis made you want to vomit. The worst of it had to be that one time you had the misfortune of seeing the nurses physically restrain him to the floor as they forced medication down his throat. You had a horrific epiphany that you never felt real empathy in your life until now. Knowing that for years you had seen all this occur and simply looked away, you hated yourself for it.

The day you had lost your job was the biggest relief of your life, but simultaneously the worst thing to ever happen. You’ll admit that it was probably unethical to perform sexual acts on your patient, but at a certain point you just stopped caring. You didn’t value working there anymore. You were able to engage with Edward inappropriately in three different sessions before you were found out, the last time being caught on camera in irrefutable evidence. 

The first time you met with him after the incident began, you were extremely cautious, aware that you had gotten overzealous the last time. Making sure to be as quiet as possible, you touched him again. He was even more eager this time about it, body shaking as he fucked your fist. Keeping your head down, you pretended that the interaction was purely professional. Your face stayed dead straight as your body internally screamed for relief. His tip turned red as precum pooled from his aching dick. You must have unintentionally leaned in closer, because you could feel his heavy breaths on your face as you kept your head down. Then he kissed you, catching you off guard. He leaned down, catching your lips with his, tilting his head to the side as his mouth dropped open, forcing his tongue into your mouth. He couldn’t hold you, since his hands were cuffed behind his back as per usual, but you didn’t pull away. You knew you should’ve pushed him away, but you just sat there, letting him make out with you as you unenthusiastically tugged on his dick. You felt miserable, knowing you were nothing but his therapist as he shot ropes of cum on your shirt, then it pooled over your hand. Near tears, he apologized profusely, but you insisted it was alright. You rushed to the bathroom after that session, desperately trying to wash your shirt in the sink, but you could only do so much, and ended up going the rest of the day in a soiled, damp shirt. 

During your last encounter with Edward, you were acutely aware that this arrangement couldn’t last much longer. You couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone knew what you were doing with him. Even though you felt your days were numbered, you decided against your better judgment to risk it all, going as far as possible. You put him inside you, and he didn’t stop you. Leaning back in his seat as far as his arms cuffed around the back would let him, you sat on his lap with his legs spread open, and you fucked him. He hissed viscerally behind you, tensing every muscle in his body as he resisted the urge to scream from the feeling of how mercilessly you viced him. Leaning forward, holding yourself up against the table, you rode his dick, and no matter how slow you went, the chair clanked against the floor. You hung your head, staring at your feet as you two desperately thrusted into each other. His tip prodded deep inside you, feeling as if every organ in your stomach was reacting to his penetration. Despite trying to keep the pace slow, he kept going faster, and you didn’t have the willpower to deny it. 

“You’re doing so well,” you praised him, for the first time in a genuine tone. You sounded disheveled and breathless. 

“You’re a shitty fucking therapist,” he chuckles cruelly. Head spinning back, you glare at him, eyes glossed over. That was probably your biggest mistake. Looking him desperately in the eyes as he degraded you so viciously. There was never a point in your life where you came that hard. It was almost numbing, and you couldn’t stop yourself from screaming out in pure ecstasy. Soon after he came inside, filling you up so much it was dripping down your legs when you stood up. 

“I’m sorry, Edward. I’ll make things right, I promise,” you said as the session finished, and you dressed the two of you back up before leaving, allowing the guards to take him back to his cell. 

Soon after you were called into your boss’ office. You didn’t need to go to know you were fired, but you did anyway. It was probably the most humiliating moment of your life, but on the plus side, they’d keep this incident a secret.Apparently what you had done was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen in the history of the asylum. It seemed they cared more about a public image than morality. You were told to never speak of it and move on. Somehow, that outcome was even worse than you expected. The truth was finally revealed to you: that there was no saving this abomination. There was no guilt or questioning what you were about to do. 

It was disgustingly simple, sneaking into places you didn’t belong, stealing a ring of keys from an unsuspecting guard, and just playing a guessing game of which one would unlock the button in the control room that would unlock all of the cells. The guards were all underpaid and undertrained, making the simple act of carrying out the plan right under their noses a breeze. One of them asked what you were doing, but all you had to do was flash your ID, which you hadn’t turned in like you were just told to. 

The moment the cover was lifted and the button was hit, you had mere minutes to carry out the rest of your plan as the emergency sirens blared. You were free to find Edward’s cell. Just like all the others, his cell door was wide open, and he was standing in the doorway, confused and scared. You run straight towards him, almost knocking him over as you collide. He tries to protest, stuttering as you grab his hands and bolt down the corridor, taking him with you. Finding a fire extinguisher on a wall, you smashed the glass with your fist and hauled it into your arms, slowing down, allowing security to catch up, but you swung it around, hitting one of them in the stomach with intense force. You and Edward continued your escape as you located any room with windows that weren’t barred in. Finding the office you were just fired in, the door was left wide open, so you ran in and threw the fire extinguisher through the window. 

This was the worst possible escape route, as the window led to a steep drop into the ocean. It probably wouldn’t kill you, but you didn’t have an option as you only had mere seconds to act before the two of you would be apprehended. Edward was petrified, but didn’t hesitate when you grabbed him, throwing him out the window, as well as yourself. 

It felt like you had died. The only feeling in your body was how cold it was, but the moment you realized you weren’t getting air, your survival instincts reacted, and you started moving again, peaking your head from the murky water before you could drown. Red flashing lights were reflecting in the pitch black water of the harbor. You could feel something brush along your leg, and your heart sunk when you realized it was Edward, still underwater. You dived in, reaching for him until you finally got a grasp on the scruff of his shirt. Pulling him up, his face peaked into the air, and for a moment he was completely still. You shook him as hard as you could, even slapping his face to wake him up, then he started hacking and coughing violently. His face was bleeding, and his glasses were missing entirely, leading you to assume they broke and cut him up. Holding onto him, you began swimming toward the nearest infrastructure in the water, needing something to hold onto so you wouldn’t drown from fatigue. Hiding in the water under the docks seemed like the safest option for now. 

Arkham was ignited with chaos as the freed inmates rampaged the island. Your head was so full of water you could barely hear the gunshots and violence occurring. You clung for dear life to a filthy algae covered wooden support. Edward was clinging to you, his head hinged on your shoulder. He was crying, and you didn’t know why it shocked you. You forced this upon him, now it was your responsibility to save him.

[doll-book]

𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐬/𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐫. · ° . ♡ ⊹

☆彡 -`, why building your dr around a partner could possibly be a blockage ꒱ 𔓘

ʚɞ゜・゜this is something i only internalized recently. on social media, i began noticing that when anti-shifters decide to run their mouths, they usually attack us or call us delusional for scripting popular celeb/character partners first. that means that the shifting content locals are exposed to first is about significant others and dating in other realities.

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

💭 i started thinking .. why? why is 90% of shifting content i see about couple scenarios, s/o faceclaims, etc? why is recent shifting culture so based around dating and finding love in other realities? lately, i realize i've also been affected by the content i see so much. i have only one dr where i don't have an s/o, and it's my self care dr. i felt & still feel like i had to be dating someone in every reality i wanted to shift to, and if i didn't, i'd be missing out on something.

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

💭 i’ve now realized that this way of thinking could possibly be a blockage. when you build your entire dr around a person, you neglect the other important parts of shifting to a real place. when you shift in, you won't be spending 24 hours a day with your s/o. even if you did, you'd quickly get tired. (i know, getting tired of THE namjoon or THE beomgyu sounds crazy, but they're people just like us. don't put your s/o on a pedestal once you shift in, that's unhealthy for both of you (ˊ‸ ˋ )...)

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

i had to take a step back, and ask myself realistic questions like: ➴ "is this a dr where i have the time and energy to emotionally support my s/o?" ➴ "will our relationship be healthy in the long run, taking our lifestyles into account?"

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

— ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ there was some discourse over this on tiktok (as always🙄). people were saying, "if you think your relationship is/will be unhealthy, just script it never becomes that way and you both love each other wholeheartedly forever."

💭 i don't want to make this complicated by getting into my beliefs about scripting, but simply put: your s/o is a real person, with real emotions and feelings. i can't stress this enough. you can script that they love you forever, but if both of you are in an environment that is busy or constantly changing, that will affect the dynamic of your relationship no matter what you script. it doesn't mean that they'll stop loving you, but like any normal relationship, the circumstances have to work out.

💭 furthermore, if you script that they love you forever no matter what, that could become a burden for you. what happens if you lose feelings, want to pursue other dreams, grow emotionally exhausted, etc? scripting relationships is a super sensitive thing imo, but shifters kinda gloss over it. it could unintentionally lead to traumatic experiences in your dr, so pls be careful pookie!

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

➴ what circumstances make for an unhealthy relationship? i'll use one of my drs as an example: my rich & famous dr.

💭 i'm a world famous model and actress in this dr, with a number of amicable breakups from before i shift in. naturally, i scripted that i start dating one of my biases, and everything seemed perfectly fine until i started truly getting into the headspace of this dr. i began visualizing my day to day life, and not once did my relationship cross my mind.

💭 i scripted a packed schedule full of fun things i've always wanted to do. photoshoots and movies and exclusive parties and secret friendgroups - literally everything that makes a glamorous lifestyle. i scripted that the only day i have off completely is sunday, for relaxation, self care, and sleeping in.

and then, i started thinking about my partner. ➴ "when will i see her next?" ➴ "what will we do when we're together?" ➴ "are we both excited to see each other?"

when i answered these questions honestly, i realized most of them were negative.

➴ "i might not see her for a one or two because of our overlapping schedules." ➴ "we might go on a date, if she's tired we can just hang out at home." ➴ "realistically, no.. we'd probably both be tired, even if we meet up on an off-day because of our exhausting work weeks."

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

💭 when i shared my thoughts to some shifting friends, they just said "script that your workload isn't as much." but.. i don't want to? i enjoy the realism of being tired after a long day. it's like proof i truly worked, and everything isn't just a dream. i could script that my schedule is more spread out to make time for my s/o, but then we come to my point:

💭 i dont want to change the entire structure of my dr just to have a partner. if my s/o doesn't fit into the dr i planned, i don't want to squeeze them into it. to me, building your dr around having an s/o feels wrong and unnatural. i notice shifters tend to forget: you're really truly actually going to this place. you have your own life to live, things to do, etc etc. don't let having a partner overshadow the experience of shifting.

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

💭 when it comes to actually fixing the issue, it may feel weird to delete an entire person out of your dr or become strangers w/ them - so just change your relationship status. in my fame dr, i re-scripted my former s/o to a person i'll meet and become very close friends with. if it turns into something more over time, after i shift in, that's great!! yay for me! i just don't want to feel held back by someone i should be cherishing, and instead let it happen naturally. if you feel more comfortable scripting out your relationship, then you do you!

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

NOTE: i'm not trying to say stop scripting significant others. by all means, script an s/o! a partner! a boyfriend! a girlfriend! a husband! a wife! a spouse! a sneaky link! anything! it's your reality, i'm not trying to take away from that fact. i'm just pointing out how shifters often gloss over the realness of being in a relationship. this was simply a reminder for those who may be feeling the same way i did, and to help those people to make the neccessary changes. if you feel that the relationship you've scripted is happy and healthy, go for it cutie! even if its not happy or healthy, but you.. want that..? it's none of my business fr 🤷‍♀️. you were warned, and you have the resources you need to do your research. i trust you!

and one more thing i should mention, i'm saying all this without even starting on how the aroace shifting community must feel abt it. if you're aroace & wanna share any comments, suggestions, or experiences, pls msg or ask !! this is something that affects most shifters regardless of orientation but aroace ones especially😭 hope yall are hanging in there..

• ୨୧ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • ୨୧ . • ☆ . ° .• ° *₊ ° . ★ . • .• ୨୧ °

that's all! ily!

[lol-im-done]

Ghost of His Past

summary: joel hadn't seen you since the night the world had gone to shit, now here you were 20 years later in the Boston QZ, bursting into his life like a ray of sunlight after the darkest storm. read on ao3

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

word count: 2.2k

author's note/tags: wrote this purely based off me watching the show, apologies for any inconsistencies with the game. I love Pedro as Joel! would love to write more so any suggestions/feedback would be appreciated.

no major warnings, all the feels, flashbacks to pre!outbreak joel, references to drugs, some dark themes, age gap.

Boston QZ, 2023

“Joel?”

A soft voice floated through the air but Joel ignored it, thinking it a figment of his imagination, a stray memory coming back to torment him. The now familiar voice called out to him again and he paused in the middle of the sidewalk, heart beginning to pound involuntarily. Next to him Tess’ eyebrows scrunched in confusion at his reaction, twisting around to try and find the source. There was only one person who it could be and he wouldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he turned slowly to face the ghost of his past. His usual stoicness crumbled the moment he saw you. There you stood a bit uneasy in your new environment but you offered him a timid smile. The air left his lungs as if someone had kicked him in the ribs and he was transported back to Austin. 

September 26th, 2003

The last time he had seen you was the night the whole world had gone to shit. As the twisted body of Nana Adler half crawled, half ran at him, fear had Joel frozen in place unsure of what to do as Tommy shouted behind him. Before he could raise his makeshift weapon a gunshot rang through the air and Nana’s body hit the ground with a thud, blood and brains splattered against the grass of the pristine lawn. Joel, Tommy and Sarah turned to look at their savior, you, still clad in your nursing scrubs. Had it been under different circumstances Joel would have been impressed by your aim, he didn’t even know you could shoot a gun. 

You were a twenty-three year old with a dazzling smile that matched the ring on your wedding finger. Newly engaged, you and your fiance Luke had moved into the neighborhood only a year ago becoming fast friends of the Millers. Sarah had quickly latched onto you and you had taken her under your wing with enthusiasm. Joel had been amazed at the way you dotted on her, supported her and been there for her in the short time you had known them. Luke had come to admire Joel, taking lessons on how to fix up the house and learning the art of grilling on the weekends. You had developed a friendship with Joel based on your mutual love of music and surprisingly puzzles. Now you looked fractured, the last few hours completely shattering your reality and completely changing you forever. He could tell by your expression, the blood splattered against your face and Luke’s gun in your trembling hand that you had been forced to do the unthinkable in your home. Before he could offer you help the two remaining members of the Adler family came charging out of the home and in rapid succession you had sent more bullets flying, making them howl in pain. 

“Go!” you screamed at them, Tommy wasting no time in jumping into the driver’s seat but Sarah tried desperately to reach for you. 

“We can’t leave her dad!” Sarah had screeched in a panic as Joel pushed her into the truck. 

“It’ll be alright Sarah, I’ll be fine,” you choked out, trying to reassure the young girl but the panic in your voice did little to calm her. Joel paused at the truck door, jaw tense and knuckles tight as he gripped the wrench. He was overwhelmed, so conflicted in that moment, not wanting to leave you but he didn’t know what this was. He didn’t know who could end up sick. You wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to explain himself, that you understood he had to focus on his family and their safety first. Your lip wobbled as you sucked in a deep breath, motioning for him to get in the truck. 

“Go and don’t look back.” 

A lump formed in his throat at your words and against his better judgment he surged forward and placed a hand against your cheek. Tears continued to stream down your face as you gave him a weak smile of thanks. 

“Joel, we gotta go!” Tommy shouted as another neighbor crawled from their front door a few houses down. Before he knew it they were speeding down their street leaving their home behind, the sound of gunshots echoing through the cul de sac once more. Joel risked a look in the rear view mirror and the sight of you on your knees, gun cradled to your chest sent a chill down his spine. The ear splitting scream of sorrow that followed would haunt him for years to come. 

Present Day

Even now the radiance of your smile almost blinds him, the setting sun casting a golden glow against your skin. Joel wasn’t sure what overcame him at that moment, he was suddenly flooded with emotions he had spent the last two decades trying to suppress. An invisible force seemed to pull you both together as you ran towards each other. The moment his arms wrapped around you, practically crushing you, a sob broke past your lips as you squeezed him back with equal fervor to make sure he was real. When you had seen him walking down the street you hadn’t quite believed it was him but his striking features assured you it was Joel Miller. 

“It’s so good to see you,” you laughed tearfully. 

“I can’t believe you’re alive- that you’re here,” Joel murmured into your hair. 

“Who’s this?” 

Tess’ voice seemed to snap Joel out of it and he slowly  untangled himself from you but still kept himself close to your side as if you were at risk of disappearing. 

“This is (Y/N), we were neighbors back in Texas. A friend of the family,” Joel explained and you nodded in agreement. A short silence followed as your adrenaline waned, questions flooding your mind and it was clear that a more serious conversation would follow. 

“I’ll see you later Joel,” Tess murmured, still looking confused as if she had never seen this side of him before. Joel gave her a brief nod in reply before turning to you, his deep brown eyes trailing over your face. 

“C’mon, we got a lot to catch up on.”

Following him to his apartment which you realized was across the building you had been assigned to, he led you into his space mumbling an apology about the mess. As he poured you a cup of water your eyes roamed the room, heart lurching at the butterfly on the window. It matched the one in his kitchen back home. Home. There was no more home for either of you and you shook your head to rid yourself of the thought. 

“Joel?”

He turned to look at you and his stomach twisted uncomfortably, he knew that look and what would come next.  

“Sarah...she’s not here is she?”

“She’s not.”

At his words you sank into one of the chairs, hand pressed to your heart as it seemed to crumble beneath your skin. “You don't have to say anything more about her Joel, just know that I loved her very much,” you finally managed to say. When you looked up at him, you had to stop yourself from reaching out to comfort him, he looked so lost. 

“I won’t pretend I know how to start this off. It's not everyday you find someone from before,” Joel sat in the chair next to you. 

“I think it would be only right for me to say that I’m glad you’re alive,” you replied. That seemed to make the corners of his lips slightly curve upwards and you had a feeling he didn’t smile much these days. 

“How did you make it all this way darling?”

The term of endearment had a fiery blush dusting your cheeks which made something flutter in Joel’s chest. He had never called you that before which was expected as you were once engaged. Now though, you took a moment to appreciate his handsome ruggedness before returning to his question.

“I continued my work as a nurse, traveled through the South trying to help who I could. The Army and then FEDRA snatched up most of the doctors and nurses for themselves which didn’t leave much for the survivors. Eventually FEDRA found me in Georgia and I managed to strike a sort of deal. Some freedom of movement and to treat civilians as long as I committed to some time in the QZs,” you explained, glossing over the more traumatic details. Perhaps stories for another time. Joel could tell by your expression and the faded scar on your jaw that you had been through tough times, you being here now only spoke to the bravery you had shown that night you had saved them. Slowly you opened up to one another, treading lightly with the topics of your discussion before you glanced at the clock on the wall. 

“I think I’ve overstayed my welcome,” you smiled nervously, moving to stand and Joel tried not to let his disappointment show. 

“I know things are different now,” you cringed a bit at the understatement. “But if you ever want to hang out you know or just reminisce about Austin...,” you offered. It was your use of the word reminisce, as if he would find it enjoyable to think about everything he had lost. A dark shadow crossed Joel’s face making him frown, the lines around his eyes deepening. 

“Why the hell would I want to reminisce?” he all but growled. Usually his foul moods and brooding stare would scare off anyone in a ten mile radius but he was surprised to not even see you flinch. You had faced much worse in this life than the simple anger of men. His sudden mood change was unsurprising to you, you had once been the same way, poisoned by grief unable to even think about the past without being reduced to a puddle of overwhelming sadness. With a sigh, you scooted closer to Joel. 

“For a long time I forced myself to not think about that day, and all the days that came afterward. It was even too painful to think about life before Outbreak Day. But in doing that I started forgetting about them, all of the people I cared for. Their loss stained my memories, I started forgetting how they looked, the sound of their voices,” your voice cracked. “It hurts, revisiting the past. I spent so many nights wide awake thinking of simply what could have been. Then I forced myself to face it, said each of their names just to make myself remember. It was like being doused in a bucket of ice water,” you continued and Joel was stunned at your honesty. It had been so long since someone had voiced their emotions so sincerely. “The more I allowed myself to revisit them in my memory, the less I would see Luke’s face as I shot him when I closed my eyes. The less I would imagine all the scenarios in which my family and friends had died,” your continued and Joel found himself offering you his hand which you took gratefully. “I started seeing the big picture again, not the fraction of tragedy. Twenty years is a long time but at least I won’t spend the next twenty as haunted as I was. For some reason we’re still here and they’re not. But that doesn’t mean their memory has to be gone too,” you murmured. 

“Most people that meet me think I’m naive, a hopeless optimist of some kind but I know that every day, every hour is not promised to us. If the universe continues to keep me alive I’m going to try my best to make it worth it,” you finished, giving his hand a squeeze. Joel was at a loss for words, still processing what you had shared with him. After a few moments he managed to find his voice.  

“It's past curfew and I’m not sure if your status as medic will grant you any favors, it's best if you stay here tonight,” Joel offered, standing up and motioning to his bed. 

“Oh you don’t have to- what about the woman you were with? I thought she was-,” you stammered slightly. 

“Tess is my smuggling partner, she comes by some nights but she doesn’t live here,” he corrected you. “We’re not together like that...not anymore.”

“Alright, I don’t mind taking the sofa-,”

“Not a chance darling,” Joel crossed his strong arms. 

“There’s that southern charm I’ve missed,” you teased, squeezing his bicep before tucking yourself into his bed. Surrounded by his scent and the surprisingly warm blanket you quickly succumbed to sleep. Joel found himself watching you sleep soundly, entranced by the way the moonlight cascaded over your face. On instinct he reached for the bag of pills in his pocket. Something stopped him, his hand straying away from the pills as your words replayed in his head. Then I forced myself to face it, said each of their names just to make myself remember. He felt silly but he began to sound out the name he hadn’t uttered in years.

“Sa- Sarah,” he whispered. A weight seemed to unload from his chest and he felt lighter somehow. That night he didn't dream of death, he was in a world of his own creation and like a ray of sunshine in the middle of it all was you.

[kogratorm]

QSMP's Candidates Statements (Translated)

From QuackityToo June 19th Stream.

DISCLAIMER: My native language is Brazilian Portuguese, not Spanish nor English. Due to that and the differences in language expression, I made some changes/paraphrases while translating to accommodate the context, but the overall understanding remains 98% loyal to each candidate’s speech.

BadBoyHalo

BBH proposes that he is the only person capable of carrying out the necessary decisions that the president of Quesadilla Island must take. He believes he is the only one who has the courage to make the difficult decisions necessary to keep the island safe and sound for the residents and prevent a dictator from taking power, all while protecting the eggs.

Foolish

Foolish is excited about the opportunity that the island has provided. He says he wants to enjoy and make the most of the situation because it's not every day that you end up on a crazy island with a diverse population speaking a variety of languages. Some people would prefer to get out of here [Quesadilla] as soon as possible, but he wants to make friends with everyone and enjoy everything the island has to offer.

Etoiles

Etoiles stated that he is charismatic, generous, and that the only negativity he carries is for himself and never for others. Etoiles sets out to explore the island in order to better understand the environment of where they are; he will visit as many dungeons as he needs to get a better understanding of the island.

Baghera

Baghera stated that she has her head screwed on the right way and wishes only the best for the islanders. She values communication and maintains positive relationships with everyone. Baghera believes she is capable of dealing with any fervor or rash situations that may arise. Quesadilla Island is where she was introduced to motherhood, and as a result, she has a specific goal. The place that gave her family and friends is one she must protect at all costs.

Felps

Felps work(ed) as a shipping officer, bus driver, artist, and gardener. What he wants to do is make everyone happy by giving more rights to eggs, noodles, and pasta.

Forever

Forever stated that he is one of the most active players on the island, and as such, he will always be there to protect the people's interests. As a professional Minecraft player, he has many ideas for community projects. Forever describes Richarlyson as one of the happiest things that has happened to him, as well as meeting all of the island's inhabitants (despite the fact that the French make a lot of noise at the egg hotel), given how everyone is very friendly and entertaining.

Mike

Mike promised to restore order to Quesadilla Island, his favorite aspect of the island being the islanders themselves. He would forbid the use of waystones, which would improve the island's dynamics by forcing players to build paths between their bases, allowing them to finally implement a railroad train system.

Cellbit

Cellbit has had prior work experience as a tribute (HG), murderer, prisoner, and detective. He claimed to be Roier's husband, capable of making eloquent arguments and pose intricate inquiries in various scenarios and circumstances. In summary, he believes he is a good president for the Island's future, both for introducing new creative ideas and new narratives to other content creators, as well as for protecting the eggs. His husband, son, and friends are his most valuable things on the island.

Gegg

I swear this isn’t bad translated; it is literally what has been said.

Gegg said he's a businessman, going door to door Gegging. He's a Geggwar criminal. He is an influencer of the family lifestyle. Gegg changes the world. What Gegg likes most about Quesadilla Island is the humidity, the damp places and caves. Gegg promises you freedom. Gegg promises the truth. Gegg promises you power. Gegg promises the abolition of all government rules, taxes and any existing laws. The government establishment holds us, so Gegg will release us. Just one geggrule: believe in Gegg, because Gegg believes in you.

El Quackity

His speech is about his character as well as the election scenario (from the perspective of a Content Creator, not a character). I decided to put it all together because it was somewhat scrambled and also because it was an important reminder for the community.

According to ElQuackity, there is a lack of organization and order. He believes that in the ideal scenario, this can be resolved. He believes that his candidacy in this work and position is critical, and that it will be the best possible. One thing to be clear about it: during his campaign, he will do whatever it takes to ensure that the people have a good president. Thus, he reminds and states that this election event isn’t predetermined, scripted, or planned, and there is no pre-written ending. Elections will be decided by the votes of creators, the efforts of creators, and the votes of the community. He warns that if If he decides to kill a candidate or an egg because it suits his political campaign, he will do so. And, if another candidate decides to kill him for their own benefit, it will be done. No one (except the creators) can say anything to encourage another narrative. We, as a community, need to understand that none of the creators will truly hate each other if one decides to attack the other or kill the other for their own campaign benefit. He encourages the community to support their favorite candidate, but if a creator decides to do something bad to another creator within the game at any time, those who send hate towards creators for actions taken by players in game will be rightfully banned and restricted from all QSMP chat streams. It is, after all, a game. It's a block game. The decisions made within the game will be made by the creators themselves. If the creators ever have a disagreement, it will be solved in private DMs. And nothing bad will ever happen because all the QSMP members are adults who understand that this is all for entertainment purposes. The QSMP Elections ARE for entertainment purposes ONLY.

[punksocks]

Elemental energy in your chart

I’ve been thinking about how elements combine in a birth chart to effect your presence in the world… and I was watching Avatar the Last Airbender lol, so I wanted to write about it! I’d advise checking your big 6- Ascendant, Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, & Mars- and in addition you could check your Saturn and Jupiter but those planets effect lessons you learn and abundance you bring in based on your actions. Although Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto also effect your personality, especially when they aspect your personal planets, these are generational planets and have an impact on people in your age range overall. Ok, let’s get into it!

Earth

Grounded and persistent. The presence of earth in your chart denotes a sense of things that can primarily be describe as steady. These natives are connected to the material, the substantive, and the physical. Because of this they understand in order to gain tangible things, work and dedication must be put in. Exchange for exchange. They also tend to take things more literally/tangibly overall in my experience. The sorts that will measure someone’s ability through a strict lens. How well are you doing now with the resources you have now, and what’s your plan moving forward. Being such people of physicality, they can be hard to impress and are not the sorts to usual daydream. If you mean it, prove it. If you know it you know it, etc. earth in your chart shows where you wish to be grounded and where the physical means the most to you, whether that be through hard work and rewards (Capricorn), valuables and indulgences (Taurus), or reason and service (Virgo).

Water

Emotive and Intuitive. The presence of water in your chart promotes a sense of emotionality. These natives feel and let all aspects of things flow through them. Feelings of themselves and others, energies of every aspect of their environments, anything that touches their intuition, everything conscious and subconscious. Water has a presence that runs deep like an ocean, waves that crash over everything with an edge of destruction or rains that water crops and bring life to those in need. Water flows and changes with circumstance as do the the natives that have this in their charts. On a mental level these natives are incredibly connected with their intuition on a level they may only subconsciously realize. Water in your chart shows where you wish to feel and intimately whether that’s through exploring the ties of your birth family or found family (cancer), through exploring the mysterious and taboo (Scorpio), or exploring the conscious and subconscious (Pisces).

Air

Detached and logical. The presence of air in your chart denotes a sense of otherworldliness. The natives work from a place of mental stimulation and reason. Air subsists of so much that is unseen and flows all around us, playing into the detached nature of this element. From this birds eye view, air natives are able to think and consider things deeply, pick apart subjects and conversations from many perspectives. The natives are often capable of witty and curious out of the box takes. In turn absorbing information can be critical to satisfy the sometimes endless curiosity of the native. Air in your chart can show where you wish to learn with depth, grow your knowledge, and experience many perspectives while staying reasonable and logical whether that’s through learning about as much information as you can (Gemini), being detached and focusing on the effects of society overall (Aquarius), being diplomatic and charming throughout all of your relationships and striving for harmony in your romantic and platonic relationships (Libra)

Fire

Bold and passionate. The presence of fire in your chart denotes dynamic energy. The natives move with an energetic nature that is forward thinking and eager. They say what’s on their mind and act on what they say. They are the type to wear their heart and their ego on their sleeve and take much at face value, because they are face value sorts of people themselves. This air of boldness gives the natives the feel of being confident and powerful. They are often stand out individuals that provide the spark to get things up and running. Fire is heat, passion, destruction, life. Fire is everything but it’s never nothing. Without the spark there would be no light, and this is often reflected in the natives naturally courageous and optimistic nature. Fire shows in your chart where you have energy- energy to experience new things with courage and boldness whether that’s through philosophizing and speaking your mind (Sagittarius), being the center of attention and being creative (Leo), or becoming an unstoppable and innovative leader (Aries)

[overgrown3d]

What do you need to hear right now?

✨How to select your pile?✨

1. Slow your breathing, taking deep inhales. Focus on feeling present in your environment.

2. Looking from left to right, use your intuition to pick the pile meant for you (what you connect most with.)

3. Doesn't resonate? No worries! Pick another, it's message may be just right for you.

• • •

pile 1 -> pile 2

-> Pile 3

Pile 1 ;

Cards: 6 of Swords, Queen of Wands, 2 of Wands, Knight of Wands, The Tower (base)

"You have the strength to move forward, Keep going!"

The biggest obstacle in your life right now may be your thoughts. Perhaps you have tried to change or improve certain aspects in your life, particularly the actions you perform to meet your goals, and feel burdened with insecurity as you face hardships and deal with your circumstances. Maybe you've tried to change your life in the past but got disheartened, believing you weren't capable of overcoming your struggles. It seems that you've nurtured an idea, business, relationship, habit, or any action that isn't serving you anymore now that you've grown outside of it. Like building a foundation on unsafe lands, only after an event happens do you realize that it is time to bring about change for your own sake, and rebuild your life on stronger soil. Realizing this may cause a great deal of pain for you, but this change will be fruitful in the end.

~~~~🍃

There is indecision in what next step you should take, but know that you've overcome the greatest leap of all: The first step. You absolutely do have courage to shake off the shackles of your past, whatever they may be. What's next in store for you is a lot of action, but this time with the right decisions and choices.

We all have different circumstances in life, what we need to do is make the best out of it, with whatever we've got. 💚

~~~~🍃

Pile 2 ;

Cards: 10 of Swords, The Emperor, Justice, 3 of swords, 7 of swords, Ace of Wands & The Fool (base)

"You must look like a fool before becoming the master."

Get to work, baby! The message you need to hear right now is get into action! You've got the m-fing chances to be successful! This signals massive career change or great profits. You may have healed or are in the process of healing from a catastrophic event, leaning into a lot of internal questioning, perhaps overcoming grief or loss. You may be exploring different careers you can pursue, or areas of study. You got to take action despite your hesitance to new beginnings, and there will be a great need for discipline, learning new techniques, acquiring skills to master your area in interest. Most likely you will need to sacrifice your hedonist tendencies, maybe even a person that is unbelieving in you, and whatever else is holding you back. I'm hearing "necessary sacrifice". I'm getting the vibe that this could be a business, freelance work, maybe a very demanding job that you considered doing. Delve into uncharted territories and keep reconsidering your career path if you question it being right for you. Your strength relies greatly on your ability to start, now you just need to GO! GO!GO!

~~~~🍃

Pile 3 ;

Cards : 10 of wands, Knight of Pentacles, The Star, Knight of Cups, Ace of Swords (rev)

"You are your biggest investment"

Focus on yourself more, man! It's likely that you're burdened with too many tasks and responsibilities, possibly some from a partnership? Get more in touch with your emotions, your relationships, with yourself, dammit!!! I'm getting massive workaholic vibes here, and that applies to all forms of labor btw! Give yourself a break, you deserve it so much. Neglect your logical, ultra-efficient side for now, because I guarantee that getting a break from your responsibilities (Maybe you are the breadwinner, caretaker, student, or an ambitious person trying to kickstart a business) will produce greater financial success/less financial burden. It's possible you're stressing too much about money, but to you, that stress is reasonable. Let go of the thoughts that limit you to your area of work, and start exploring more of your identity and emotions. You will be able to make a lot of progress with this balance. 💚

~~🍃 You reached the end of the reading, 'till next time!

[furiousgoldfish]

Speaking from a bad place, so bear with me. Has anyone thought about how being important or special to other people is based just on the people closest to you?

We regard strangers as people who are fairly irrelevant to us, because they have little to no impact to our life, and their lives and struggles won't generally touch us. In contrast, lives of people directly around us have a great impact on us, and they decide our relevancy. We give them roles in our lives, like friends, mentors, partners, lovers, caretakers, and in that regard they're special to us, irreplaceable. We also want to have an equally strong meaning in their life, to have a warm place in their heart and respect in their minds, as they do for us.

When people around us who hold great relevancy for us, also give us that same relevancy back, we feel important, we know we're special to them. That our role in their life shapes their experience, gives them gratitude and they've accepted us as someone they want and need around.

In contrast to that, when people in our life refuse to give us that same respect, warmth and relevancy, then we wonder what is wrong with us. What is missing so we can't be appreciated and regarded with the same love and respect that we show to them. Lack of mutuality makes us sink down with insecurity, self doubt and deep feeling that we're not enough, that we've done something wrong, not to deserve the same that we give to others.

And it also works out the same in isolation, if you have no one close to you, no one who has your well being in mind or cares for what becomes of you, it feels like you're important to no one, like you are not special whatsoever, even like you could be disposable if nobody cares at all.

But none of that is based on what's inside of us, who we are or how much love and good we are capable of giving and showing. It's nothing even related to our behaviour and actions, you could put anyone in these situations and results would be generally similar; person who is not experiencing reciprocity, or is left to fend for themselves alone, will lose the feeling that they're important or special in any way.

Isn't that weird? That we can end up judging our own worth based on nothing we did, or nothing we are, just based on how people around us are treating us, or whether we have anyone around us at all. In our essence we didn't change at all, it's just who is or isn't around, that determines our worth.

If we're put in a group of people who want to create bonds based on good things they see in us, we'll become able of seeing that good in ourselves. If we're surrounded by people who all feel the same as we do, act on the same moral code, readily reciprocate respect and warmth that we show to them, we won't feel like anything is wrong with us. We'll feel at home.

And since this is so intrinsic to being a person, to long for this and only feel relevant, safe and cared for in these circumstances, isn't it natural that we all deserve that? To be surrounded by people who make us feel like nothing is wrong with us, and like we're at home? Who help us focus on everything good in us, and give us no reasons to believe that we should be rejected or banished at all? Since abuse did the absolute opposite, and forced us to believe there's only reasons for abandonment, hatred and contempt, I believe being in the environment where people see many reasons to want us in their lives, would heal us.