#and when asked to name a religion he immediately says atheist

[hesgomorrah]

less generic homophobic macho man trapper more trapper with catholic guilt

[estellxli]

(really sorry if the first scene doesn't follow the rituals of your religion)

Modern AU! Dainsleif x Reader

"(Name), do you take Dainsleif to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?" The priest at your side asks, eyes focused on the gaze of the man in front of you.

Dainsleif's eyes twinkle of expectancy and hopefulness. His eyes much brighter than the gown you wore.

Today was the day. The day for you to be bound in front of so many people. For you to keep your vows and promises. For you to only be separated once the soil has called back for you and to keep your remains.

"I do." A distinct voice from your lips rang out as his gaze prisoned yours.

You notice Dainsleif fidgets a little. Perhaps because of giddiness. Perhaps from the relief that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him as much as he does with you.

His lips curl up and reaches those eyes that contained stars within them.

The priest acknowledges that the couple have declared their consent to be married, and prays for God's blessing on the couple.

He says more words, more lines that are practiced every day, minute and seconds for other more to be wed. Before you knew it, Dainsleif was already holding your hands along with the ring— he places the wedding ring on your hand with the words accompanying, "(Name), receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

You stare at it for a brief second. The ring twinkles and shine, but it doesn't shines as beautifully as the eyes of your husband.

You imitate the same actions. The same lines he voiced out.

" In the sight of God and these witnesses—" you almost let out a chuckle as for the man you have wedded is an atheist, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss!"

And for a short yet what felt like a long moment, time has stopped for the both of you.

____________________________________

You smile at the memory of your wedding day. It's been 3 years since it happened. 3 years since the both of you took your vows.

Your ring reflected the light inside your room.

"My love?" Dainsleif's voice took you out of your trance. He stood outside your shared bedroom door, already dressed up.

"Is there a problem?"  he asks as he walks back in, eyebrows furrowed on his forehead.

"No," soft and light tone escaped your lips, his face washed relief, "just reminiscing." You get back to what you were doing. Your hands trailing on the soft fabric of your dress.

Dainsleif opened one of the drawers into your shared room— the one filled with his watches. He pulls one out and dons in on his left arm.

"Of what?" He asks and you chuckle in turn. "Don't know, you might have to pry out the information from me" lips once again curling up, once he turns, you've already wore the dress, only that you needed to zip the zipper at the back.

"Need a little help?"

He sure has a lot of questions today, you giggle at the thought.

"Yes please."

He walks towards you as you show your back to him. You felt his hands slightly hovering at your back as he zips it up, almost making you shiver. His touches were always like this.

Soft.

Warm.

Gentle.

Like how it felt like to drink hot chocolate on a rainy night.

He felt like home.

He is home.

Distracted by the comfort, Dainsleif steals a smell of your fragrance. It lures him every time. You smelt good. You always did. Even when covered in sweat. Even when the both of you just woke up and haven't had the chance to brush your teeths.

Even if you're covered in spilled blood.

Not being able to resist you, he turns you and pulls you close to him as his hands guide your waist to his, and gave you a peck. You can feel he was smiling as he did so. And another. And another. And maybe just a little bit mor—

You giggle, "Honey, we're gonna be late." as much as you hate to break it, craving for more. His eyes immediately falling into sadness and he gave out a noise.

... was that a whimper?

He reaches for your bag and his keys, and guide you with him to his car. He lets you blast the music you like. He listens to your rambles of a new fixation you've been having— giving out questions, letting you talk about it more, letting him hear your voice more, letting the both of you pleasing each other. His hands rest on your thighs the entire way, comforting and predatory at the same time.

The both of you stand at the restaurant that both of you agreed for date night.

"What times is it?" you ask, he pulls out his phone from his pocket, "8:15", and places it back a few seconds ago.

He notices your eyebrows knitting a little, "What?"

"You know you have a watch right?" you say playfully, this time, you were the one asking the question.

He hums and shows you his watch as the both of you walk inside. The second hand doesn't seem to be moving. It remained stuck in place. Your eyebrows furrowing further.

"Why wear something that's unfunctional? Want me to buy you a new one?"

Dain smiles as though he's been waiting for you to ask that question since a long time ago.

"I stopped my watch the moment you said  'I do' from our wedding, I've been wearing it every date night."

Then you recall your memory once again on how he fidgeted.

It wasn't him fidgeting, but marking the exact time you finally consented to be his.

[psalmonesermons]

What makes Christianity different or true? Part 3

Christianity vs other major religions

We now consider the major differences between Christianity and other religions.

1. The Trinity

The very nature of God in Christianity is different from all the other religions.

The other major religions have various approaches to the nature of God and can be either polytheistic with several gods or monotheistic having one God. Others are non-theistic and have no significant god outside of themselves. Christianity is monotheistic but with a key difference: Christians believe in God who is One in essence but with three distinct personalities [1] namely the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. This means that God has always existed in community shared by His three personalities. The Christian God has always been about relationship and has extended this to humankind though Jesus Christ.

2. The Gospel

The Gospel is the good news that Father God has provided a way for sinful people to be able to come to Him via the cross of Jesus Christ. This salvation is a free gift from God[2]. No law keeping, achievement, moral living, or performing religious rituals can save your soul. Jesus Christ, God the Son, became a man and died in the place of fallen humankind, but rose again from the dead to conquer sin and death.

Certain religions whilst agreeing that a person cannot provide their own salvation, but instead by trusting a human leader, they may be able to achieve some form of rebirth. Christianity is not a religion, but through faith in Jesus Christ, it is a relationship with God.

John 17:3 “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.”

We also note that no other faith except Christianity follows a leader who claimed to be God and who also rose from the dead.

3. The Bible is authoritative and has repeatedly been proven to be true.

Historians and archaeologists have repeatedly confirmed the authenticity of the Bible. Ancient historians confirm both the person of Jesus as described in the Bible and the major events presented in the New Testament.

The Bible today is the same as what was originally written. The Dead Sea Scrolls confirmed the accuracy of the Old Testament, and original writings of the New Testament authors are preserved better than any other ancient manuscript. The early church accepted the New Testament books almost immediately, and that the writers were either associates of Jesus or His original followers.

The Bible claims that it is God’s Word (see 2 Timothy 3:16 and 2 Peter 1:21). Jesus also viewed Scripture as authoritative (see John 10:35 and Matthew 22:29). The New Testament authors believed what they were writing was in fact God’s Word (see 1 Corinthians 14:37, 1 Thessalonians 2:13).

Insights into the differences between Christianity and other Religions [3].

Narnia author and Christian apologist C.S. Lewis comments that all religions do have some truth in them, and Lewis thinks that is what you would expect. Lewis thought that If you are a Christian, you do not have to believe that all the other religions are simply wrong all through.

However, if you are an atheist you do have to believe that the main point in all the religions of the entire world is simply one huge mistake.

Lewis felt it was atheism that wrote off all religious claims as false, while he was free to affirm truth wherever it was found. He accepted truths in other religions. He recognised the similarities – as well as the significant differences between religions. For Lewis, a commitment to Christ does not necessitate the denial of truth in other religions.

However, what makes Christianity unique is the incarnation, when God entered a specific historical place and time in the person of Jesus Christ.

This is utterly unique and is either true or false.

Lewis is quoted as saying [4], "If you had gone to Buddha and asked him 'Are you the son of Brahma?' he would have said, 'My son, you are still in the vale of illusion.' If you had gone to Socrates and asked, 'Are you Zeus?' he would have laughed at you. If you had gone to Mohammad and asked, 'Are you Allah?' he would first have rent his clothes then cut your head off. If you had asked Confucius, 'Are you Heaven?' I think he would have probably replied, 'Remarks which are not in accordance with nature are in bad taste.' The idea of a great moral teacher saying what Christ said is out of the question. In my opinion, the only person who can say that sort of thing is either God or a complete lunatic suffering from that form of delusion which undermines the whole mind of man."

[1] Athanasian creed.

[2] See Ephesians 2:8.

[3] See C.S. Lewis - Objection #10: Other Religions - Mark Conner

[4] God in the dock C.S. Lewis

In Part 4 we consider the significant changes that belief in Christianity brings to a believer's life.

[planetofsnarfs]

On Wednesday, atheist Joseph Richardson of the Central Florida Freethought Community was slated to deliver an invocation during a meeting of the Tavares City Council in Florida. 

He gave an excellent speech, urging the commissioners to “unite in the spirit of reason, compassion, and the pursuit of justice.” He reminded everyone to make sure their actions were “guided by the principles of inclusivity, fairness, and respect for the autonomy of every individual.”

Perfectly fine. Completely non-offensive.

But then, immediately after Richardson was done, Phil Clark, the city’s utilities director, was invited to deliver a second invocation. A replacement invocation. A Christian invocation. Because, apparently, the secular one didn’t count.

Clark’s brief speech referenced “Heavenly Father” and asked God to “forgive us for our sins… in Jesus Christ’s name.”

Even more shocking? This isn’t the first time this has happened to Richardson. In fact, this is the fourth time a local government in Florida has felt the need to “correct” his supposed error. It’s previously happened in the city of Apopka (2015), the city of Eustis (2017), and Lake County (2022). A similar corrective measure occurred in the Arizona legislature in 2017 when a state legislator gave a secular invocation, only to see one of her colleagues request and receive permission to deliver a Christian one right after. 

In 2019, after Richardson gave a secular invocation in the city of Ocoee, the mayor literally apologized afterwards, saying, “This is something that was brought to us to do, not that we do it.”

Atheist invocations don’t need a Jesus-infested “do-over.”

Maybe even more damning is the fact that Clark was ready to go with a pre-planned sermon even though the agenda for the meeting only listed a member of the Central Florida Freethought Community as giving the invocation. 

This wasn’t an on-the-spot decision. This was decided in advance. 

Now the Freedom From Religion Foundation is getting involved.

In a letter to the Tavares City Council, attorney Chris Line calls the council’s actions “discriminatory and unconstitutional.”

We write to ask that the Council immediately apologize to Joseph and ensure that the discriminatory conduct exhibited at the February 7 meeting does not recur. If the Board cannot treat invocation speakers equally, instead favoring Christianity and denigrating nonbelievers, the practice of having an invocation needs to be eliminated entirely.

FFRF is also requesting public records regarding this makeup invocation, including all communications between council members and Phil Clark.

David Williamson, co-founder of the CFFC, told me the treatment of Richardson shows a clear “pattern of discrimination.” 

… Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised when we see more of it nearby. Our invocations are inclusive and appropriate to solemnize the occasion. To treat non-theists differently than others who provide an invocation is clearly discriminatory and we have already shown that we won't stand for it…  We intend to be at the next meeting to speak during public comment and express our great concerns for this practice and request an apology.

[amicidomenicani]

Question Hello Father Angelo, My name is D. and I am 27.  I have been dating my boyfriend for over seven years now. We will get married in four months: although I am happy about it, there is something about this marriage that just does not feel right. All these years my boyfriend and I shared the same opinions regarding religion and faith. We were both atheists and we were fine with it, until about three months ago I had an unexpected and astounding experience that led me to conversion. He seems to accept my conversion, although he does not want to come to the Mass with me, because he finds it boring. After all, he does not forbid me to do what makes me happy. But the conversion has changed me a lot, and some of his behaviors that I was not noticing before, now annoy me deeply. I am aware that we are all slaves to materialistic things, but I now feel I despite them so much! I especially despite excesses of any kind, frivolities, selfishness, eager for money...I hate everything that leads to evil! I transformed into a humble and simple girl, getting rid of all the vanities and frivolities, I now feel so happy! I work as an esthetician, but if I could find another job I would gladly quit the current one, because I find it too superficial and meaningless.  Before encountering Jesus, I used to search for true happiness, but never found it. Even though nothing was missing in my life, I had a nice job, an upcoming marriage, yet I could not stop feeling empty. Only the Eternal Father healed my inner void! Suddenly, I am strongly attracted to Jesus, I would say I am in love with Him! A month ago, when I realized that maybe God is calling me to consecrated life, I fell into despair, because I also desire to get married and have a family…if my destiny is to become a nun, why did God's call not occur earlier? Why now, when my wedding has already been organized? I do not trust my priest, therefore I tried to make the discernment alone, by praying as much as I could. After a few days of intensive prayer I was so convinced that the Lord has led me on this path, that I have to go along with it, anything else would be my will, not His. I want to get married, but I am afraid that in future I will regret not having answered his call. On the other hand, leaving everything in order to follow Christ also scares me. In short, I know that the Lord wants something from me, but I have not yet understood what. I would very much like to know your opinion. Thank you in advance. Answer from the priest Dear D., 1. I am happy that the Lord has revolutionized your life by granting you the grace to start a married life according to his plan of sanctification. When you discovered the Lord, you immediately felt that He is like that precious pearl for which it is worth to leave everything else you possessed before. 2. However, a Christian life and a consecrated one are two different things. Deciding for a consecrated life is a matter that requires a serious, intense discernment, which cannot be processed in just a few months. 3. The fact that you are one step away from your wedding, after seven years of engagement, makes me think that the Lord's will is that you get married. 4. My advice is that you live your relationship more intensely with the Lord, who is, and must remain, the Bridegroom of your soul. The bridegroom whom you will shortly take to the altar will be a true bridegroom, but at the same time he will be the image and permanent reminder of Jesus, who is the Spouse of whom all the others are a sign. 5. At the same time, insistently ask the Lord for the grace of the conversion of your future husband, so that the two of you may live a journey of sanctification. In this way, everything in your life together will lead you to know, love, and possess Jesus with growing intensity. Jesus is "the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end" (Rev. 22:13) also of our sentime

ntal life. 6. A sudden conversion was the greatest grace you have ever received. You discovered the center and the goal of your life, the only one that illuminates it in all of its depths and in all of its immense value. He gives life its consistency, for earthly and eternal existence. 7. Everything else, if it does not lead to Him, is "all was vanity and a chase after wind" (Eccl. 2,11) as Sacred Scripture says. This is the reason why you feel a certain discomfort in your current profession, which is not to be despised if it serves to recall another aesthetic, the one that makes our actions and our life beautiful, and preserves them for eternal life. I will soon descend into the church and celebrate the Mass. I will thank God for what he has given you, and at the same time I will ask for all the very best for you and for your future husband. I bless you. Father Angelo

[aniallater33]

People often ask, which came first, the chicken or the egg? But something that nobody seems to care about is where the first set of tongs came from. And if that sounds like a bit of a stretch, it’s because I had no idea how to introduce this video. A vital tool in blacksmithing, the most interesting thing about tongs is that they are required to make themselves. So where did the first pair come from? I stumbled across this topic while chatting on my friend’s twitch stream in 2021. It is now 2023 and I still am only 78% sure.

Murray H Franklin is the inventor of the tongs on paper, as he filed for the patent in 1952 and was granted it in 1956. However, I think we can assume that one of the most basic tools for civilisation, was invented before World War Two. So let’s poke around to see if we can pinpoint an originating point in time, and see if we can attribute it to a particular civilisation.

To begin this journey, we go to the Jewish text, Pirkei Avot, in which after lengthy arguments, rabbis concluded that tongs were the result of a miracle: God created the first pair of tongs as one of his last works as the sun was setting on the sixth day of creation, just before the first Sabbath began. There’s also a reference to tongs in the later text Pesachim, where Rabbi Yehuda posited that as tongs can only be forged using tongs, the first

pair must have been fashioned at the “hands of heaven”. One thing I noticed was that the text seemed to refute this idea, as immediately after an anonymous questioner says that because tongs can be made in a mould with fire, it was an invention of man, not god. Doesn’t really help us in our search, I just thought it was interesting that the text disproved the words of a man of god in the times where atheist was a synonym for suicidal.

The text Pirkei Avot was compiled around the 3rd century C.E. So this gives us a good starting point.

Comparatively, the Orthodox Catholic Church makes reference to tongs in the vision of Prophet Isaiah (6:6-7):

“Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said,“Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquities are taken away and your sins have been purified.”

The Isiah Scroll was dated from 100-340 BCE, even earlier than the text Pirkei Avot, although it’s not very precise whatsoever.

Side Tangent Alert!

Now when looking for concrete records of an ancient topic, there’s one civilisation that is the most useful of all. The Chinese. These guys invented paper and they used it, they recorded pretty much everything. So I took a quick look over north in my search and found that a Chinese philosopher named Mozi was said to have invented them

by nevadainventors.org but I couldn’t find anything to back this up, they may have just googled something about Chinese tongs and found that Mozi invented a social-theory called Shang-tong, which is apparently all about agreeing with your superior. https://philosophy.hku.hk/ch/mo.html But I couldn’t find anything else to back THIS up. This keyboard smash of a url didn’t cite any of their sources! Eventually I did find a paper on the concept of Shang-tong, confirming my theory that nevadainventors just googled Chinese tongs and read the blurb of the first thign that came up, neglecting to double check. But I double checked. Fuck you Nevada you’re the worst state in that shit hole of a country.

Moving away from religion for the moment, we can now look to one of the longest lasting civilisations on earth. In a wall artwork from Egypt dating around 1450 BCE, a crucible is supported by two bars of metal. The same painting depicts a person using what looks like tongs to hold a little object over a fire. Clearly these are tongs, and one of the earliest of it’s depictions at that.

You might be wondering, who cares? Does it really matter where the first tongs came from? And the answer is, yes! As mentioned previously, most texts assume the origins of the tongs to be a product for divine intervention, God themselves normally giving them to humans. Therefore, if the origin of tongs can be definitively proven, there is a chance that it could prove the existence of God. That’s right, the origin of this item that you’ve probably never thought about could directly prove the existence of divine beings.

First tongs were probably just sticks.

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaiah_6

• https://reformjudaism.org/learning/sacred-texts/pirkei-avot

• https://nevadainventors.org/who-invented-tongs/

• https://www.sefaria.org/Pesachim.54a.7?lang=en&with=all&lang2=en

• https://philosophy.hku.hk/ch/mo.html

• https://www.academia.edu/13108492/Human_Agency_and_the_Ideal_of_Shang_Tong_Upward_Conformity_in_Early_Mohist_Writings

• https://www.sefaria.org/Pesachim?tab=contents

• https://oi.uchicago.edu/sites/oi.uchicago.edu/files/uploads/shared/docs/paintings3.pdf?gathStatIcon=true

• https://www.getty.edu/conservation/publications_resources/pdf_publications/pdf/art_eternity2.pdf

• https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Tongs

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

The Bible in a Nutshell

“The Bible in a Nutshell”, by Casper Rigsby

Introduction

If you've ever read the whole Bible you are well aware of just how big this book is. With an estimated word count of well over 700,000 words, the book is not an undertaking for the casual reader. In addition to the lengthiness of the book it can also be a very tedious and boring read as well. This turns many people off to wanting to commit any time to understanding the foundational doctrine of Christianity.

However, as atheists we really need to have at least a basic understanding of the Bible if we are going to make a judgment call about the religion. You see, no matter which sect of Christianity someone subscribes to the Bible is the foundation of Christian belief. So what I offer here is a mere 7,000 words to tell a slimmed down version of the basic story of the Bible. I've tried to make it humorous and something that could be fun to read.

I've stripped away all the philosophy and metaphor and simply offered the story as it is in its most basic form. Because of this, what I offer here is more a literary critique and artistic rendering than a theological examination. What I want to focus on is the narrative rather than any underlying allegory or metaphor inherent in the narrative. And what I want the reader to ask themselves is if this story is actually believable or not. I want to challenge the notion of biblical literalism by showing the story in its most basic form is simply too fantastic for any rational person to believe it as fact.

You see, if the story broken down to its most basic form doesn't make sense, it won't make more sense if you just complicate it by throwing in even more outrageous claims. I think by the time the reader finishes this story they will come to an understanding of just how silly biblical literalism truly is.

--

Forward

What I'm going to offer here is a bit of blasphemy, or at least in the eyes of Christians it is. This is the story of the Bible broken down into sheer simplicity. Broken down and simplified in this manner it becomes abundantly apparent just how ridiculous the whole thing is. I hope you enjoy.

In The Beginning

In an alternate dimension outside of space and time lives the most powerful wizard ever known. He's so powerful that he can speak things into existence. One day he is sitting around bored and thinks, "Let me make myself some other beings that can bask in the glory of how awesome I am." So he spent six days thinking and speaking the whole universe and everything in it into existence. Then he took a nap, because that was a lot of talking to do.

One of the many things the wizard, let's call him The Wiz, created was people. He made people extra special out of dirt like a mud golem to look and think like him. Basically like little The Wiz dolls. But at first it's just this one dude named Adam and he's very lonely and bored. So The Wiz rips out one of Adam's ribs and says, "Alakadabra!" and the rib turns into another person. But this person has nipples that actually serve a purpose.

So The Wiz sets these two up with a sweet little place in a garden with everything they could ever need and then says, "Oh, by the way, I created a tree in that garden that will kill you. Just to spice things up a bit, ya know. Don't eat the fruit off that tree."

Well one day a talking snake shows up and sees the person with the functioning nipples, her name was Eve, and says, "You simply must try the fruit on that one tree! It's divine!" So she does and she shares it with Adam because it's very tasty and instead of dying they just get smarter and notice they're naked. So they hide when The Wiz comes back around, because of being naked and all, and The Wiz immediately knows something is wrong. So he says, "What the fuck guys? I told you not to eat that fruit. Now I'm going to have to kick you out of the garden."

So they get kicked out and The Wiz is double pissed at Eve so he makes her menstruate and makes childbirth really painful for her. They have two boys named Cain and Abel, which end up fighting because The Wiz likes meat better than vegetables and Cain kills Abel. So The Wiz sends Cain to live in some weird land called Nod and he finds a wife there and does his thing. In the meantime, Adam and Eve have many more children and a couple thousand years go by in which the earth fills up with people.

When it Rains it Pours

Now it's thousands of years later and for some reason no one is worshipping The Wiz, which really makes him angry since he made these people specifically to glorify himself. There's this one guy named Noah though who still thinks The Wiz is super awesome. So The Wiz tells Noah, "Build a big boat and put two of every animal on the boat along with your family because I'm fixing to drown all these other assholes." Noah builds the boat and the animals come. He packs up his family and then The Wiz sets about flooding the whole world and drowning everyone. POOF - now you're a corpse. Neat trick.

After about a month and a half, once The Wiz was sure everyone was good and dead, he makes the flood waters recede some and Noah sends a dove who fetches a branch from a tree that somehow withstood the torrential floods and let's Noah know there is land ho. Noah lands the boat on a mountain, because screw you physics, he's got a wizard for a bff. Then The Wiz pops a rainbow into the sky and tells Noah that this is a sign that he won't murder everyone in that particular fashion again, because The Wiz likes to keep you guessing.

So Noah and his family repopulate the earth (let's try to gloss over the incest part). Eventually this guy Abraham comes on the scene and The Wiz really takes a liking to this dude. The Wiz tells Abraham that he's doing a super awesome job worshipping The Wiz, but unfortunately Abraham is going to need to murder his son Isaac because The Wiz likes blood. Abraham says, "Sure thing", and proceeds to carry this out. At the last minute The Wiz sends one of his personal minions to stop Abraham and tell him that The Wiz was just pranking him. Haha! Almost made you kill your kid!

Turn by Turn Mis-navigation

So we flash forward a bit more and one of Abraham's descendants named Moses gets tossed in a basket and thrown into a river. He floats to Egypt and gets found by some of pharaoh's folks who think he's cute and adopt him. But it turns out that Pharaoh has captured all the descendants of Abraham called the Jews and enslaved them. When Moses grows up and realizes he's a Jew, The Wiz tells him that Pharaoh needs to let these people go. The Wiz tells Moses to go to Pharaoh and ask him to release the Jews, but when Moses does this The Wiz has put Pharaoh under hypnosis or something and Pharaoh refuses. So The Wiz sends plagues and murders all the firstborn in Egypt to teach Pharaoh not to fall for The Wiz using magic to make him intentionally obstinate.

Eventually Moses gets all the Jews out of Egypt, but Pharaoh sends troops after them. They get to the Red Sea and they're stuck, but then Moses says, "The Wiz taught me a trick" and he pounds a walking stick on the ground. The sea splits in two and all the Jews walk over to the other side. The Egyptian troops try to follow them and The Wiz makes the sea fall back on them and drown them. POOF - now you're a corpse. (That trick is getting old)

So now Moses and the Jews are free and The Wiz tells them he has a special place for them to live. But before they can get there Moses has a one on one with The Wiz and is given a bunch of rules for how to properly worship The Wiz. When Moses goes to tell all the Jews the new rules, they've made a cow out of gold and are worshipping it.... because hamburgers!

Moses gets all huffy and throws down the rocks he wrote the rules on and breaks them. The Wiz is pretty peeved about the whole cow worship thing too so he makes everyone confused about how to walk a straight line and causes them to wander around on like 40 acres of desert for 40 years. They finally find the place they're supposed to live but Moses doesn't get to live there because The Wiz is fickle like that.

To Be Continued...

So that basically wraps up the Old Testament and the whole Jewish thing. In the next segment I'll break down the New Testament and the story of this Jesus fellow.

==

Enjoy an amusing romp through the crazy world of the bible.

Along the way, realize how much of it is empty filler.

[hazzabeeforlou]

It’s Easter and I’ve just read part 2 of The Garden and it was genuinely a spiritual experience. I was raised Catholic and as I’m sure you know, God is terrifying. As a scared child in church I found a lot of comfort in Mary, Mary Magdalene and Jesus as humans, but various factors including living as a queer person have made me isolated from my faith for a few years now. I used to dream about Jesus in the Garden and feel so much empathy for him but He’s been made into such a cold judging figure by the church, I couldn’t understand why no one else saw how lonely He was. It’s so stupid because it’s a fanfiction about a boyband but I feel closer to Jesus than I have done in over 10 years. I can’t even begin to articulate how I’m feeling, this whole ask doesn’t do it justice, but I feel like He’s been properly honoured by your fic.

PHEW nony! I had to pull out my laptop for this one, and forgive the novel in advance. I saw this and immediately started crying. It just so happens I’ve been thinking of these very things incessantly, rolling them over in my mind for weeks now, and (stay with me) that’s to do with the fact that I’ve been learning about folk magic.

A bit of backstory; as a child I loved ‘God,’ but he seemed so very different from Jesus to me. Catholics and Evangelicals both agree on the concept of the trinity, so I was supposed to think of Jesus and God as one, only God seemed cruel at times, and Jesus was kind and more approachable. I was only allowed to read Narnia as a child; those were the only ‘good magic’ books, so naturally I adopted the blatant metaphor of Aslan as Jesus and named my most treasured stuffed Lion Aslan (PITS readers, yes that’s where the lion’s name came from). I also invoked the name of Jesus constantly at night in the dark, because once, while at a sleepover, I was told that just saying that name out loud would scatter the demons that played tricks on my mind in the dark. Understand that I’ve been seeing things since I was little, and the only explanation I was ever given for this was that demons were trying to scare me. I was petrified of the dark, but the name of Jesus seemed to work.

Even before my revelations during college, my turn with atheism, and my rejection of my conservative/fundamentalist brainwashing, I distrusted the church and the power figures in it. Due to a minor scandal in my church when I was 9, my family switched churches and everyone I’d grown up thinking was perfect and blameless became tainted. I understood how churches made people come in to get money. Maybe it was a gut instinct, maybe it was providence, but I felt god more in the wind, in the treetops, in a rainstorm, not sitting on a pew wearing dresses baggy enough to hide my boobs. There was always this part of me that divorced the idea of Jesus and god from the church.

But when my college-age ‘religion is the opiate of the masses’ faze came, the baby got thrown out with the bath water; how could I reject the dogma of fundamentalism yet not the deities they worshiped? So I tried going full atheist. There is nothing out there, we are alone, this life is it. And you know what? I fucking FELT alone. I hated it. I would cry myself to sleep begging god to show himself if he was real. This went on for YEARS. It was only after my surgery that things began to change. I think… even though this is super traumatic to accept, I think I was put through all the pain of that surgery and (ongoing, chronic) recovery because I’d spent all those nights crying out for a revelation. And this was the way it had to come.

I found myself trying everything to get rid of my pain. This led me to a ‘visceral therapist,’ L, who had her home covered in walls of crystals. I had been warned about New Age people while in the church, so I had every doubt about her. But after one session, for a brief few hours, I had NO PAIN. It was the first time in six months I’d stood without agony. She had angel pictures everywhere and talked about God’s white light, and I tried not to think too much about that.

I started finding crystals next. The first one I found proved to be the most important. I was holding it out on its chain one night when it started moving. I fucking freaked out and threw it down; I’d seen L do dowsing before, but I was terrified of doing it myself. Where did this power come from? Did that mean there were powers out there? Demons? This was witchcraft, and I only knew about that practice in the context of Wicca/New Age. I was also very wary of delving into ANY established practice/religion, or listening to any one way of thinking, because how could I trust that it was true? How could I know it wouldn’t just be like the lies of the church all over again?

I plodded on for a few years, using crystals to help my pain, placing them in the moonlight, burning scraps of paper with intentions on them and bits of old hair. I started to see things, and I freaked myself out and decided that maybe I was just crazy. Maybe atheists were right; maybe this was all a hyperactive brain. So I went on those pain meds I’ve mentioned before, and for two years, I saw nothing. I could still dowse, but it’s like one part of my brain had shut off. This of course reinforced the idea that I was just insane, and I still struggle with that. But I’ve come to peace with several realizations and they are as follows:

Humanity as a whole, every single indigenous culture, has practiced worship. Not magic, not religion, as we have defined these words for a western gaze, but worship. Of nature. Of deities. Of spirits. They have had wise people and seers and healers and this wasn’t a separate thing removed to brick buildings with pews, it was how they lived and breathed and belonged in community together. I think it’s naive to discount the entire experience of humans because these ‘beliefs’ can’t be given a mathematical equation. So I made peace with the fact that MORE exists. I also made peace with the idea that deities, spirits, they don’t just have one name, and I think, though this revelation was new to me, it was implanted very early in my mind by the Last Battle (and as problematic as Narnia is, it’s also so VERY pagan, so much so the Christianity in it only really serves to bring it past the threshold of fundamentalist houses lol). And this explanation also helps me to understand how colonized people both adopted the religions forced on them but still worshiped their own gods? And here’s where I get to folk magic. I’m still learning about it, but basically it’s specific to cultural heritage. So Germanic folk magic would be a mixture of pre-Christian paganism and Catholicism, the blending of the two, the veneration of saints that used to be Demi-gods, etc. The names change, but that doesn’t matter. The Virgin Mary is the Mother. Jesus…who knows who he was in every culture, every name, but that’s how I know him, and he’s real to me. (There’s a whole other discussion of the individualism of Wicca/New Age types beliefs and the divorcing of them from any cultural root which lends them towards reinforcing anti-collectivist ideas and can lead to the alt-right/wellness/ws supremacy pipeline we saw happen during the pandemic’s early stages… but that’s another novel)

And here’s my point, at last; the Jesus I always knew, that comforted me, that took the fear from the darkness, he was always good and kind and beautiful and I knew him by this name and I’m sure he has many others, but I can know him now, free of the church, free of fundamentalism. So your asks makes SO much sense to me. This Jesus has always been there for you. No church or religion own the deity you have loved and called by this name, and I’m so fucking thrilled my fic has helped you feel closer to that divinity, that spirit. I don’t have any of the answers by far and I know this was an entire fucking novel but does that make sense? I hope it does. Hugs to you nony and have a wonderful night <3

[hello-that-happened]

How She-Ra, Wrong Hordak, and I Deconverted in Six Steps

Alright y'all, it's time for my fourth essay exploring how She-Ra and the Princess of Power (SPOP) used Christian themes and parallels to provide a humanist message.

My first post named 9 major messages of SPOP that contradict Christian fundamentalism.

My second gave the historical context of how our generation and Noelle's are growing up to overthrow Christian fundamentalism after it became such a powerful enemy in the U.S.

My third discussed the parallel between Horde Prime’s rage at Hordak’s self-naming and the Christian idea that everyone is an instrument of God’s will.

Now I want to discuss how Adora's and Wrong Hordak's journeys defections from the Horde parallel my story, and potentially others', of leaving Christianity. Adora and Wrong Hordak experience many of the same stages in his journey out of the Horde as many ex-Christians experience leaving Christianity.

My own experience leaving Christianity was a journey into atheism, so I will interpret Adora's and Wrong Hordak's stories through that lens. Plenty of people who left toxic/conservative Christianity behind still believe in God, in heaven, and/or in the value of Christian communities. I do not want to minimize or dismiss their experiences, and I welcome progressive Christians as allies in the fight for LGBT+ rights and social justice generally. But when I watched Adora and Wrong Hordak leave their belief in The Horde behind, I saw myself leaving Christianity behind. I want to tell my story through/alongside theirs. I hope some of you can relate, but it is okay if you cannot, regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof.

Deconversion in Fast-Forward

Adora, Wrong Hordak, and I escaped from the organizations that raised us and its worldview in six somewhat-distinct stages:

Multiple major characters' arcs in She-Ra begin with rethinking their loyalty to The Horde. Wrong Hordak and Adora both lose their faith in The Horde after a lifetime of indoctrination into its ideals and goals. Their journey away from The Horde mirrors many young Americans' away from Christianity, with at least one notable exception: time. Deconversion takes multiple years for most ex-Christians, but only takes a few days for Adora and Wrong Hordak. Their de-conversion basically represents a speed run of most ex-Christians'.

Full Breakdown of Each Stage

(tw: mention of depression and suicidal ideation)

Adora takes delight in pretending to beat up an imaginary princess in the show's first scene, and later calls princesses "violent instigators who don't even know how to control their powers." She believes in the ideals of The Horde, and feels excited to rise through the ranks to become Force Captain. Obedience to Horde authorities comes fairly naturally to her, and she even chides Catra for being "disrespectful."

Wrong Hordak consistently repeats his loyalty to Horde Prime throughout his first episode and beyond. Even while being attacked by his fellow clones, Wrong Hordak affirms that "We serve Horde Prime's will." Unprompted in the next episode he happily announces, "I believe in Horde Prime!"

I felt proud, as a kid in Sunday School, that I could answer more questions about the Bible than any of the other kids. My church's youth group was the most enjoyable part of my middle school years especially because I got to hang out with the guy I only recently realized I'd had a huge gay crush on. I started viewing "feeling happy" and "feeling the presence of God" as identical. I wrote in my 2011 "Faith Statement" for my church's Confirmation that "I fell in love with God," and that "I thank God that I was born into a good Christian family and was raised to honor God."

Adora is kidnapped by the Horde's enemies and taken away from her home, separated from all of the voices reassuring her that The Horde is a good organization with a just mission. Shadow Weaver is not around to give her orders or map out her future anymore, leaving her alone with her enemies and her thoughts.

Wrong Hordak's connection to the hive-mind he knew for all of his life is severed. "I am…alone?" he asks in shock, then breaks down and cries, "I am alone!" For someone who grew up living in the same mind as his entire communal "family," suddenly losing that connection to everyone he knew would be traumatizingly shocking. The best equivalent I can think of in human experience is being suddenly ripped away from your family and community and then never seeing them again.

I kept conflating happiness with my faith in God for years, even after my crush moving away drove me into suicidal ideation for a couple weeks in 2011. My mental health recovered for a year before settling into a long-term depression in 2012. Because I conflated happiness with the presence of God, my depression felt like something had taken away the presence of God.

Adora defends the organization that raised her by quoting her highest authority: "Hordak says we're doing what's best for Etheria. We're trying to make things better. More orderly." Glimmer argues against Adora's worldview by showing her (1) that princesses are just people instead of dangerous violent monsters, and (2) what The Horde has done: first the ruins of a village destroyed by The Horde, and then that the village of Thaymor which she was told to attack was peaceful, innocent, and happy.

Wrong Hordak grabs Entrapta by the hair for the crime of "trespassing," and enjoys saying, "Prime shall hear of this, and his punishment shall be merciless." But once Bow’s arrow disconnects him from the Horde’s hivemind, he is simultaneously stranded away from the people who constantly reinforced his belief in Horde Prime’s goodness and stuck with a group of people opposing Prime. For a long time, Wrong Hordak simply pretends that the Best Friend Squad™ serve Horde Prime just like everyone else he ever knew. Every line of his dialogue in “Taking Control” is a quick, snappy motto he took from Horde propaganda, like “I believe…in Horde Prime” and “True nourishment comes from the favor of Horde Prime.” [see footnote 1]

I was well aware, growing up in a progressive suburb, that plenty of my high school friends were nonreligious. After my depression sunk in, I found myself arguing about religion with a brilliant but very smug British friend who consistently refuted my arguments in ways I could not dispute. Searching for arguments to support my pre-existing beliefs, I started reading Christian apologetics, but found nothing my friends could not easily refute. [see footnote 2]

Adora sees the ruins of the site of a Horde attack while with Glimmer and Bow, and at first rejects what Glimmer tells her about what she sees to preserve her worldview: "This doesn't make any sense. The Horde would never do something like this…You don't know them like I do." But when she sees The Horde attack Thaymor, the belief system painstakingly constructed by The Horde and drilled into her over 15 (or so) years comes crashing down. At first she can rationalize away her experiences to preserve her beliefs, but when the evidence of her own senses becomes overwhelming she cannot resolve the cognitive dissonance between her belief in The Horde's goodness and her direct experience of The Horde attacking the innocent town of Thaymor. Her worldview cannot explain what she experienced.

Wrong Hordak keeps his belief in Horde Prime's all-powerful nature for a long time after joining the Best Friend Squad. However, when until the Best Friend Squad catches him in a contradiction. He tells them what he was told: that Krytis does not exist. As soon as they start questioning the contradiction he was fed, he becomes extremely uncomfortable. He maintains his denial of Krytis' existence even after they land on the planet, until he can no longer deny the evidence that Horde Prime is not all-powerful.

I grew up, like many of you, on the Internet. My depression began during the heyday of the online atheist movement—and by “heyday,” I mean “seemingly inescapable presence,” especially on YouTube where I hung out. I kept running into comments asking questions that I could not answer: Why does Christianity seem to promote belief based on internal feelings instead of observable evidence? Why would an all-loving god send anyone to hell forever? Why did I believe claims from Christian doctrine and doubt claims from every other religion? Why has Christianity seemed to cling to the past instead of embracing a progressive future? The questions overwhelmed me. I found myself terrified of my own growing doubts. Eventually, my belief was based entirely on two emotions: nostalgia for past happy experiences I associated with Christianity, and a fear of losing the vague hope those experiences gave me.

The first time that Bow and Glimmer met Adora, they immediately labeled her “Horde soldier!,” and the label stuck through the first three episodes. Adora has always identified herself primarily as a soldier serving The Horde, echoing the messages she has heard for her whole life: “Shadow Weaver said it didn't matter who I was before, that—that I was nothing before Hordak took me in.” The language of “I was nothing” reflects cult dynamics where a group tries to retain someone permanently by making them think of themself as nothing more than their worshipful loyalty to the group. Similarly, it is a common Christian belief that “without Jesus we are nothing.”

After realizing that Horde Prime fes him lies, Wrong Hordak collapsed into a sobbing mess. “Who am I if not an exalted brother of Prime?,” he bawled, still thinking that the only legitimate kind of identity is one based on fully devoted worship of an all-powerful authority. Per Entrapta, “It seem[ed] that Wrong Hordak has begun to question the meaning of life.” She later described Wrong Hordak’s breakdown as an “existential crisis,” which happens “when individuals question whether their lives have meaning, purpose, or value, and are negatively impacted by the contemplation.” Without an all-powerful father figure to value him, Wrong Hordak thought, who would?

I identified myself fundamentally as a Christian for my entire childhood and teen years. I found joy, purpose, and a sense of self in my religion. Leaving my religion behind felt like burning the bridge to who I was behind me. When I de-converted from Christianity, I felt like I was standing at the brink of a void. I thought that without finding goodness in God, I might find no goodness at all. [see footnote 3]

When Wrong Hordak finishes (digitally, but also emotionally) processing the Krytis data logs of Horde Prime leaving in defeat, he explicitly renounces his old loyalties and declares his opposition to the organization and beliefs that he used to believe in with all his heart: "Brothers! Horde Prime lied to us. He is a false ruler. We must rise up against him, and free the universe from his unjust reign!"

After Adora betrays the Horde at the Battle of Thaymor, she pledges her loyalty to Bright Moon in her battle against the Horde: "I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war."

I didn't have an explicit declaration statement like Wrong Hordak or Adora. However, on 5/5/15 I arranged a meeting with my very friendly and understanding youth pastor as a last-ditch effort to save my faith. I hoped that he would crush my worrying doubts. Instead, actually encouraged me to become agnostic and to look into non-Christian beliefs on the subject of religion. Rather than feeling terrified of what I might find and wishing that someone could indoctrinate me into my old belief system, I started on a path to discover the truth wherever it might lead me.

Footnotes for Context

Christian fundamentalists’ similarly simplistic snappy phrases have been labeled by ex-Christians as “thought-terminating clichés… brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases” where “Simple labels are attached to something you like or dislike, and they are the start and finish of all thought on the subject.” Such black-and-white “totalistic” thinking is common in Christian fundamentalism, especially how it labels complex political topics as somehow being merely a cover for “spiritual warfare” between the totally good/Godly side and the totally evil/demonic side.

Specifically, I started reading an “Intelligent Design” propaganda apologetics book by Lee Strobel called The Case For A Creator. A self-proclaimed former atheist, Strobel wrote his The Case For series using my same research strategy: Only do research using sources that already agree with you. Whereas Strobel exclusively talked to other Christian apologists, though, I at least tried talking to atheists. Anyway, I walked into school one day with a confident smile and a copy of Strobel’s book and sat down with some friends. One of them, another brilliant atheist but with a far subtler and humbler personality, noticed it and his face immediately sunk into the expression of someone exhausted by the topic as he braced himself for my bullshit. When I confidently asserted a creationist talking point trying to dismiss the findings of some old experiment, he not only knew the experiment but immediately dismantled my talking point. I had no reply. What struck me most was not just his swift rebuttal, but his weary tone: My arguments were not only bad, but so bad that he was genuinely tired of them.

Around the same time, I became obsessed with the character of Kefka from Final Fantasy 6. To me, Kefka represented what I feared most about leaving Christianity behind — that I would lose any sense of meaning, purpose, or morality in my life. ("Life… Dreams… Hope…Where do they come from? And where are they headed? Such meaningless things!") Edgy, I know, but in my mind that kind of absurdism seemed to be an inevitable result of abandoning my religious beliefs. Fortunately, I came to understand that there is plenty of meaning, purpose, beauty, and goodness outside of the particular religion that I happened to be born into.

[thegeminisage]

If you want to, name ur top 5 spn fic recs bc I need stuff to read and I trust ur judgement :D

HELLOOOOO okay it’s v tragic that most of the fic i used to read back in 2010 and had lovingly bookmarked on delicious got lost to the sands of time but i do still have 38 in my ao3 bookmarks so we will work with them. i’m gonna do 11 because i didn’t want to just do 5 and when i tried to do 10 i couldn’t seem to elimate that last one. it’s my blog i can do what i want

One Shot by InsaneTrollLogic (gen) THIS is my favorite spn fic of all time and has been for years and will probably never ever be unseated. it’s very short (only 1500 words), and it’s gen, and you need to have seen season 1 to understand it, and you also need to go in COMPLETELY blind. do not look at the comments or the bookmarks. it’ll only take a few minutes to finish. if i write something even half as good as this before i die i’ll consider that a success beyond my wildest imagination. if you only read one fic on this list i’m begging you make it this one

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement this is by @maulthots and it’s a collection of yelp reviews for all the fucking motels sam and dean stay at. it is theeeee funniest thing she’s ever done. truly love this one. chefs kiss.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers (destiel) this is the ULTIMATE fic if you believe in the jackles headcanon of hooker!dean. i cannot possibly say enough about how well-written it is and how many times i have read and read and reread it. 

Phantom Load by lovesrain44 (gen) CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS FIC. HEED THOSE TAGS. this is not a fic i usually rec to people (and in fact it’s bookmarked privately) because it deals with and graphically portrays child sex abuse. that’s not normally something i read fic about or really even think most people should be writing, but the author covers this topic really fucking tactfully for the most part and the fic is really well-done. i actually read this fic before i watched spn (i have no idea how i got here, like i said it is WAY out of my usual comfort zone), and this fic is what made me decide to watch the show. bonkers, right?

What Has Eight Tentacles and Isn't Allowed to Eat Pie? by Annie D (scaramouche) (destiel) this has no tentacle porn I PROMISE. i love this one bc it inadvertently makes the best possible case for an ace or even trans cas. you’ll see what i mean (and if you don’t, message me, i’d love to explain my passions). it’s also incredibly funny. everyone always asks who ellie is and she’s a one-off character they saved on a case. don’t worry about it, she’s great, she deserved to be in a fanfic

Named by RC_McLachlan (destiel) i mean, we all know what named is. if you don’t, it is utterly imperative that you go in blind. i gotta say though as an atheist who despises organized religion this fic accomplished what church and family and religious propaganda could not and made me like jesus. if jesus was in spn proper this is how they should have done it. i love jesus, he’s my homeboy. why haven’t you read this yet it’s so fucking good

Lake Effect by kalliel (gen) short s14 fic about dean and michael and alcoholism and drowning. this is one of those things where you don’t get it until the end and then you IMMEDIATELY have to open a window and scream. LOVE it.

the long walk by katsidhe (gen) short 13.21 coda with (chefs kiss) sam & lucifer content. which is like, its own warning obviously, but i was dying in this part of s13 for more acknowledgement of sam’s lucifer-related traumas here and this fic DELIVERS. late season spn often forgets to make lucifer scary, but he is scary here, and i love that

"Strangers" by saltyfeathers (destiel) an “episode script” on how destiel might’ve gone canon if we weren’t scaring away the general audience. this one is laugh-out-loud funny and also by the author of fic #3 on this list so you really can’t go wrong there

Redemption Arc by galaxysoup (gen) a post-s8 cas fic about him working to undo naomi’s memory wipes and save the world he inadvertently doomed. charlie & as bonding, a nice cas-centric arc, and oh yeah big bonus here is the asexual cas. i just read this one like last night but i loved it <3

body of proof by Askance (doomcountry) (gen) CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS FIC TOO. we all rightfully talk about the repeated theme of dean undergoing sexual violence, but BOTH winchesters have, and this is the sam side of that coin. it’s a really rough read and it won’t be for everyone but tbh sam deserves to have this acknowledged as much as dean does and this fic nails it.

and that’s my list!! pls enjoy, as always DEFINITELY check the tags, etc etc

[spn masterpost]

[serpentstole]

Luciferian Challenge: Day 12+13 (And 22)

A few of these prompts ended up being very similar in theme, so I’ve combined them into a bit of a long reply.

Dogma is something we throw about…that we reject it. Where do you think we may fall short as Luciferians/Satanists when it comes to dogma? Do you think dogma has a certain value?

I don’t think dogma has any value really, no, as I don’t like the idea of rules or ideas that cannot be questioned on principle. Even as a child, I took issue with blind obedience. My mother once called me downstairs, and I asked why, and my father got angry and said that I shouldn’t bother to ask why and just do it, and that even if one of them told me to jump out of a window they probably had a good reason for it.

That memory is seared into my brain and still irks me.

I do think rules themselves can be important, but when we speak of rejecting dogma it’s typically in the sense of it being some authoritative status quo that cannot be discussed or challenged. I think my example above is a good example of that, as petty as it may seem: that parents should be obeyed without question and with the assumption they have our best interests at heart.

I do not believe there’s room for that sort of attitude in an empathetic and respectful society, even towards children. Respecting their natural curiosity and teaching them about bodily autonomy is something I think can only be a net good. The only thing growing up in a strict household taught me, where there was little room for negotiation or challenging of the way things were, was how to be a decent liar.

It harmed me in far more ways than it helped instill any positive values, and while I would not want to belittle the experiences of anyone in a similar boat, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. There are some families where a dogmatic stance, whether based in politics or religion, can lead to the alienation or outright abandonment of LGBT youth, of young women who wish control over their own bodies, of those with views that differ from their parents’, or any other black sheep.

I feel like this question and my thoughts on it really go hand in hand with the next one, so I’m going to actually combine them into one post and make up the difference later.

Do you think it’s dogma or silly to say what Luciferianism/Satanism is not?

I do not think it’s dogmatic to say what Luciferianism or Satanism is or isn’t. The reason I’ve kept both labels in these two prompts, when I’ve removed them in every other post, is because I spent a lot of time in a mixed Luciferian and Satanist community during the beginning of my religious journey. Despite our differences, especially in the case of Atheist Satanism versus Theistic Luciferianism, I saw a great deal of overlap in a lot of the values/ideals, inspirations, and talking points. 

I think outlining those ideals and values is important to just… having a label. Words mean things. Religious affiliations and ideas mean things. Even saying you belong to or adhere to a school of thought typically has some manner of definition or parameters. While Luciferianism and Satanism can be incredibly diverse when it comes to the details of one’s ethics and morals, practices, views of the divinity or lack there of, and other suck points, there’s a good deal that does unite us that’s reflected in the archetypal figures our religions are named after. I also believe that certain aspects of what is seen as the Standard Luciferian should be weighed more or less heavily. For example, I don’t see my irritation with hostility towards Christianity as something that makes me less of a Luciferian.

However, I want to combine these two prompts with one more to round out my view of this topic. 

What do you disagree with Luciferians/Satanists most?

In the goddamn dogma they cling to and perpetuate while claiming to be adversarial to or enlightened above such ideas. It’s become almost a meaningless buzzword. It barely still looks like a real word to me anymore. This is honestly where my post goes completely off the rails into a mini essay, so it’s under the cut.

The idea that all “Abrahamic” religions should be treated as inherently harmful and oppressive is a bad take. 

That Christianity, Judaism, and Islam should even be lumped together when discussing such issues betrays a shallow understanding of these religions that’s been regurgitated from one person to another, typically through a culturally Christian lens.

The idea that “only LaVeyan Satanism should be called Satanism because nothing else that calls itself Satanism is actually Satanism” is exhausting, and I will fist fight Anton myself in hell.

The principles of Might Makes Right and Social Darwanism that some Satanists perpetuate is dumb and bad and wrong, sorry, that’s the only rebuttal I’m dignifying that school of thought with. Once again, I will be fist fighting Anton in hell.

And that’s to say nothing of the Satanists and Luciferians out there that regurgitate the same racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted bigotries that they’ll condemn religions like Christanity for while perpetuating it with a coat of black paint. Because I have absolutely seen this first hand, both as an observer and as the target of it.

Like... I can’t speak on Islam at all, because I have very very limited experience with it from both a research and real life experience point of view, and thus I’m not comfortable making any claims. On the other hand, I do know that to list all the ways that Judaism is not a dogmatic religion would deserve its own post written by someone far more knowledgeable than me, and it somehow still gets lumped into the Problematic n’ Dogmatic category of AbRaHaMiC ReLiGiOnS. For that reason, in the case of Islam, I can’t help but wonder if the assumption that it’s also dogmatic comes from the harmful assumption that it’s a religion that’s strict to the point of harshness that a lot of people have.

Even in the case of Christianity, which I would argue (as someone who I’d say was raised within the church) is hands down the most seemingly dogmatic of the three (particularly in North America), this is just not universally true. If it was, there probably wouldn’t be so many branches and denominations, many of which cannot stand each other and think the rest are misguided at best and heretical at worst. This is something that’s even brought up in the Satanic Bible; I’ve read the miserable thing. Have you ever seen someone say “Christians and Catholics”? That’s a pretty loaded example of how much disagreement exists within the religion when an entire core branch of it is considered tangentially related.

Not to mention, I was raised Lutheran. That came about because a German Catholic got incredibly steamed at his own religion so he made a more boring different version of it. While the existence of dogma has led to these schisms, historically speaking, the end result has been a religion so varied that it’s hard to say what is and isn’t treated as inarguable law. If you don’t believe me, try talking to a Protestant pastor about the Seven Deadly Sins and see how far you get. I tried during confirmation class and got shut down immediately... but on the flip side, my church was pretty accepting of LGBT folks, which I think some people would claim Christianity is dogmatically against by default.

Is there dogmatic thinking within specific churches or branches or communities? Absolutely, I wouldn’t argue that. I think it can arise in any community, religious or not, but that some religious communities seem to be particularly vulnerable to it. But the harm those specific cases could do should be where our focus goes, not the condemnation of these religions or the concept of religion as a whole, which I touched on in a previous prompt. 

I’m not some glorious enlightened mind. I would not want to give the impression that I think I hold in my hands the One True Way to do Luciferianism, or that I think the majority of this religious community are uncritical edgelords. This is, after all, my answer to the thing I take issue with the most, not my thoughts on Luciferianism or Satanism as a whole. I just don’t think it should be a particularly hot take that Religious Discrimination Is Bad Actually, or that maybe you can be rebellious and adversarial and hedonistic and enlightened while still genuinely giving a shit about people. Because otherwise what’s the point?

If we are hostile and rebellious with no actual end goal, no greater cause or purpose, we are simply being contrarian for the sake of it. If we blame the idea of organized religion instead of those who manipulate and abuse faith and scripture for selfish and malicious ends, we’ve missed the point, as I said in the aforementioned previous post. Not all of us have the ability to become an activist, obviously, and I would not ask you to. But I think as those who would claim to reject dogmatic thinking and strive to embody either the ideals of enlightenment or the adversary would do well to be ever questioning their preconceptions of the world around them, of other religions, and of less obvious unjust structures of power.

I don’t know why a community that believes in illumination and free thinking sees the world in such black and white ways.

While I will always strive for a greater understanding of the world, and I hold the concept of enlightenment very dear to my heart, I think it’s something that one spends a lifetime working towards. Alongside my favourite quotes from Paradise Lost, I hold the Socratic Paradox of “I know that I know nothing” as a personal motto, and I wish more people who I share this label with would do the same.

[giftofshewbread]

Growing Worse by the Day (Prophecy Update)

 By Daymond Duck     Published on: September 5, 2021

Things seem to be growing worse by the day, and many students of Bible prophecy believe that is exactly what will happen at the end of the age.

It is bittersweet: Bitter because it signifies that the world is approaching the Tribulation Period, and sweet because it signifies that Jesus is coming soon to straighten things out.

Here are some of the events that recently got this writer’s attention:

One, when the U.S. started withdrawing its troops from Afghanistan, the U.S. turned over some of its military bases to the Afghan government, the Afghan government collapsed, the Taliban took over the nation, and the Taliban freed thousands of captured ISIS troops from Afghan prisons (confirmed by the Pentagon on Aug. 27, 2021).

On Aug. 25, 2021, a group of Islamic State terrorists (called ISIS-K) exploded bombs at the airport in Kabul that killed 12 U.S. Marines, 1 U.S. Navy officer, 169 Afghan citizens, and injured more than 200 other people (U.S. troops, women, children, etc.).

On Aug. 26, prophecy teacher Amir Tsarfati said the U.S. and U.K. were warned several hours before the attack that one was coming.

Tsarfati said Biden sent the CIA to strike a deal with the Taliban to pay tens of millions of dollars (they would call it international aid or something like that instead of a ransom) to allow U.S. citizens passage to the airport.

According to Tsarfati, some officials believe the Taliban then started obstructing those trying to get to the airport because the Taliban would get more international aid/ransom for many hostages than they would get for a few hostages.

The Biden administration then said it had credible information that there would be more terrorist attacks, and it started warning U.S. citizens not to go to the airport (even though they had just 3 days to get there before the Aug. 31 deadline).

Think about this: the Biden administration was relying on a terrorist organization called the Taliban (that released thousands of ISIS terrorists from prison) to protect our troops and citizens from a terrorist attack.

When a U.S. Marine battalion commander created and posted a video criticizing our leaders and demanding accountability for the death of the Marines and Navy officer, he was relieved of his command.

Our leaders (under the influence of the shadow government) are:

The ones that gave the names, addresses and biometric I.D. information on U.S. citizens and our Afghan allies to the Taliban terrorists.

The ones that abandoned billions of dollars of weapons to the terrorist Taliban and won’t protect our border with Mexico.

The ones that turned hundreds of thousands of guns over to the terrorist Taliban and want to take guns away from U.S. citizens (don’t forget that former Pres. Obama also gave guns to the Mexican drug cartels).

The ones that are bussing and flying unvaccinated immigrants with Covid-19 into our nation and want to force U.S. citizens to be vaccinated or lose their job.

The ones that we are trusting to defend our homeland from terrorists, a North Korea EMP attack, a sneak attack by China, etc.

Who will protect America from the Shadow government and their Antichrist?

If the Biden administration would give the names, addresses and biometric I.D. information of U.S. citizens to Taliban terrorists, why wouldn’t they give that, or vaccination records, or any other information to the head of a world government?

Two, concerning deceit: Biden said, “It is unlikely the Taliban will take over Afghanistan.” (The Taliban took over Afghanistan.)

Biden said, “No Americans will be left behind.” (Americans have been left behind). On Aug. 30, 2021, Gen. Frank McKenzie, head of the U.S. Central Command, said hundreds (perhaps in the low hundreds) of Americans have been left behind, but others said it could be thousands.

Biden’s campaign slogan was “Build Back Better.” (Afghanistan has been destroyed, and the women in a nation of 35 million people have been enslaved).

Biden also said the election was fair, the vaccinations work, etc.?

This reminds me of the king that wore no clothes and no one would tell him.

Update One: On Aug. 31, 2021, it was reported that the Taliban is already going from house to house and executing people.

Update Two: On Aug. 31, 2021, a video was posted of the Taliban flying a U.S. Blackhawk helicopter over Kandahar with a body hanging below it.

Update Three: On Aug. 31, 2021, it was reported that 90 U.S. Generals and Admirals have signed a letter calling for the resignation of Sec. of State Austin and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Milley for botching the Afghanistan pull out. (Biden calls it a great success.)

Three, it is being reported that the shadow government and their Democrat puppets are between a rock and a hard place with Pres. Biden.

With 50 Democrats and 50 Republicans, the U.S. Senate is split, and Vice-Pres. Kamala Harris can break ties by casting the deciding vote.

If Biden dies or is removed, Harris will replace Biden, and the power to break tie votes (including a vote on anyone that is nominated to replace Harris) will switch from Harris to Mitch McConnell (and control of the U.S. Senate will switch from Harris and the Democrats to McConnell and the Republicans).

This could threaten the Democrats’ entire agenda, so the shadow government must keep Biden in office if they can.

Four, concerning the Battle of Gog and Magog, on Aug. 25, 2021, the head of Israel’s Defense Forces said Israel has speeded up its plans to deal with Iran’s nuclear program, and money has been budgeted to address the issue.

He added that a team has been assembled to prepare for a strike should one be ordered by the Israeli government.

Five, also concerning the Battle of Gog and Magog: on Aug. 27, 2021, Israeli Prime Min. Naftali Bennett met with Pres. Biden at the White House.

Advance reporting indicated that Biden would ask Bennett for two things: 1) A freeze on all settlement construction, and 2) A promise not to attack Iran without U.S. permission.

Said reporting indicated that Bennett would tell Biden the U.S. must immediately deal with Iran’s efforts to build nuclear weapons, or Israel will.

It is obvious that Israel is preparing to strike Iran in the coming weeks if the U.S. and others fail to act.

It is also obvious that Biden hasn’t been told what the Bible says about this, or he doesn’t remember it, or he doesn’t believe it.

This doesn’t bode well for the U.S.

Update One: Following the meeting, it was reported that Bennett told reporters:

“These very days (a reference to what is happening in Afghanistan) illustrate what the world would look like if a radical Islamic regime acquired a nuclear weapon; that marriage would be a nuclear nightmare for the entire world.”

“We (Israel) will never outsource our security” (never turn control of Israel’s security over to the U.S.).”

Update Two: On Aug. 30, 2021, Israel 365News reported that Biden nodded off to sleep while Bennett was talking during their meeting (it is on video).

These are perilous times, and anyone that says Pres. Biden is qualified to lead the U.S./free world is lying or uninformed.

It is likely that the calls to revise or reset global governance (replace Biden with leaders from a handful of nations; ten) will soon grow louder.

Update Three: On Aug. 30, prophecy teacher Amir Tsarfati reported that Iran has decided that America is weak and will now go “full-blown nuclear.”

He added that Iran is now “openly enriching uranium to 90%.”

Six, concerning war between Israel and her neighbors: on Aug. 29, 2021, the head of Israel’s Defense Forces said, “The IDF is preparing, with a concerted effort, for the possibility of another operation (war) in Gaza.”

His statement followed the launching of several incendiary balloons and rockets into Israel and two weeks of violent protests.

Another war in Gaza could lead to several prophesied wars.

Seven, concerning perilous times (also the Kings of the East): on Aug. 30, 2021, prophecy teacher Amir Tsarfati noted that “China just announced that any vessel, whether it is above the water or under the water, that is entering into Chinese territorial waters or the disputed waters in the South China Sea with Japan and the Philippines must report to the Chinese.”

Many officials believe the disputed waters that China is claiming are international waters, meaning China’s claim is illegal.

Tsarfati added, “While everybody is watching the incompetence of America, (Russia, Turkey, Iran, China and No. Korea) are willing to make a move.”

Eight, concerning the Mark of the Beast and a global tracking system, on Aug. 30, 2021, it was reported that the World Health Organization (WHO) is urging its member nations to “roll out a global digital information system to check if people are vaccinated against Covid-19.”

The WHO wants its member nations to force this system on all other nations, and it wants people that have been vaccinated (and are in this global system) to have benefits that others that are not in it won’t have.

This would be a major step toward a global medical dictatorship.

Nine, concerning a falling away in the Church: Harvard University was founded under Church sponsorship in 1636 to train Puritan pastors. On Aug. 26, 2021, it was reported that the president of Harvard’s organization of Chaplains is an atheist, meaning Harvard has a Chaplain that doesn’t believe in the existence of God.

If the elite that control a prestigious, once-Christian university are willing to allow a Chaplain that doesn’t believe in the existence of God, why is it so difficult to believe that other elite want to establish a godless world government and religion?

If their Chaplain doesn’t believe what the Bible says about God, why should he believe what the Bible says about Satan, the Antichrist, or anything else, and why should any true Church want a pastor that was educated at that institution?

By the way, it is being reported that, as things now stand, universities cannot force student organizations on campus to have pro-LGBTQ officers, pro-abortion officers, etc., but the Biden administration is considering ways to change that.

Ten, on Aug. 27, 2021, LifeSiteNews reported that the head of the Tokyo Medical Association announced that Ivermectin “seems to be effective at stopping COVID-19 and publicly recommended that all doctors in Japan immediately begin using Ivermectin to treat COVID.”

Currently, America’s shadow government, in collusion with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), World Health Organization (WHO), the National Institutes of Health (NIH), big pharma, the social media, and others, is suppressing the use of Ivermectin.

Why would these groups suppress the use of an inexpensive, effective drug that will stop Covid and save lives?

Could the belief that Covid is a created crisis that has been designed to reduce the population of the earth, control people, bring in a world government, make the rich richer, etc., be true?

Eleven, on Aug. 21, 2021, it was reported that less than one-third of the people that have died from the Delta variant in the U.K. (Feb. 1, 2021, to Aug. 2021) have been people that were unvaccinated. (Two-thirds of the people that have died from the Delta Variant in the U.K. are people that have been vaccinated).

Put another way, the U.K. data is showing that vaccinated people are more likely to die from the Delta Variant than unvaccinated people.

Twelve, concerning deceit: on Aug. 30, 2021, it was reported that about two dozen nurses told people at a town hall meeting in Minnesota that adverse reactions to the Covid-19 vaccination are being underreported, and one nurse said her friends at other hospitals are saying the same thing.

Thirteen, according to the Bible, the Euphrates River will dry up during the Tribulation Period to prepare the way for the Kings of the East (Rev. 16:12).

On Aug. 31, 2021, it was reported that the Euphrates River is drying up fast and barely running for a distance of about 1,700 miles.

Different officials are blaming Climate Change, drought, and Turkey for building dams on the river and holding back too much water.

Finally, are you Rapture Ready?

If you want to be rapture ready and go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

[sonderrow-moved]

IC            IS            VOICE            BODY            MEMORY            PLOTTING

★ I.D

FULL NAME: Jael Roy Singerman BIRTH: March 19th, 39 y.o. SEX & GENDER: Male SPECIE: Human..? ETHNICITY: Caucasian (?) LANGUAGE: English and French OCCUPATION: Counter terrorist defender RELIGION: Atheist SEXUALITY: Heteroflexible ★ ANATOMY 

HAIR:  Very short, tangled mix of charcoal and black with a front bang EYES: Chocolate brown FACE: A jagged jaw with large, half crazed looking eyes, Jael’s previously, one might say, stereotypically beauteous features are now wasted by dark, deep scars and wrinkles COMPLEXION: Warm olive SCAR: Multiple deep scars run over Jael’s body. Although numerous, they do not cover the majority of it, only at key points from what seems like slashes and gun wounds TATTOOS: One… HEIGHT: 195 cm BUILD: Lean rectangle shaped, toned by regular training VOICE: Rough and warm ★ PERSONA LIKES: Camaraderie, sex, beer DISLIKES: Weak-willed people, party poopers, social politics MBTI: ESFP “The Entertainer” ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral POLITICAL STANCE: Middle Liberal EDUCATION LEVEL: Military college DRUGS: ??? PHOBIAS: ??? DISORDER: None diagnosed ★ “ARGO FUCK YOURSELF.” Jael was born on a dairy farm in the middle of Canada, on a road right between the city and the countryside, surrounded by six other siblings and two hardboiled parents. Being the kid in the middle, Jael never especially put much thought in his position compared to his brother and sister. Actually, he never put much thought into anything, and just went on with life as it went, following what everyone told him was normal. An average kid, Jael was popular with his peers as he had the look of, well, the average “not bad looking at all” north american kid, had an early growth spurt and was doing pretty well at sports. Quickly, however, Jael found himself hanging out with friends who didn’t think too much like himself, falling in group into every fad as they grew up. At home, no dark tale of abuse with his family, no real life-scarring drama. Just the technical, material support and teachings of parents. With nearly no warmth nor bonding, which only made Jael bond with his gang full of mischief. Drugs, smoking, sex, they all shared everything, with depending degrees. And the boy’s lifestyle was soon far from what his family expected it to be. He still finished his chores at the farm, but his increasingly sloppy ways, too eager to finish to go elsewhere, brought some judging comments. Still, family is family, and Jael would say he was plenty content with it. While he wasted his time away during his secondary school years, Jael was barely able to graduate; his part-time work in a fast food chain was, to him, even bigger of a highlight than the time he’d spend in class. In the end, Jael only needed the simple suggestion of his father to enroll in the military. And although one could tell this would be the opposite of how he currently lived, his simple mind were satisfied of the pros, and so easily the sheep decided to step into this path. ★ “HISTORY STARTS OUT AS FARCE AND ENDS UP AS TRAGEDY.” At first given dubious looks by his entourage, Jael actually didn’t have much difficulty letting go of his bad consumption, as he found that those time killers were only replaced by others. In the beginning hard on his body, training became like second nature, waking up so tired and lazy, but immediately finding an inexplicable relief in releasing tension out of his system, and be able to go farther and farther, a newly degree of competitiveness rising into Jael. Was it this to be alive? Colour sparked in his previously apathetic eyes, energy ran through his frame. Even in his harshest moments he’d have something, someone, although emotionally clumsy, to have his back. Thing is, he’d never realise he was alive. Because he was only living through it. And soon enough, Jael felt like he just blinked as everything went so fast. He was given whatever medals, standing on whatever private stage and, at some point, he was instated in special ops. Surrounded by people who spoke big words, wore big suits and had big names. He listened and memorised the field, followed orders, took a deep breath and banked his paycheck. As he closes his eyes now, it starts to fade. Where which event had been. Which people were there. Jael looks at his friends, who remember exactly everything despite the years. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. Then, one mission felt dubious. Everyone could feel it in their spine. “higher ups asked for this” sounds like such a cliche, but when it is told to you by someone you trust, someone you spent years and years with, someone who saved your life more than you can count, when it is also your job, your friends need you and you’ve only known this since forever. There was nowhere else to go, no space to fight against what those small guys in their small suits told. And it went wrong, so wrong. It’d leave him disfigured forever. ★ “THIS IS THE BEST BAD IDEA WE HAVE SIR…” You’re being shown people going under, switching identities, running away like only something from another world, until you realise it is happening to you too. At first, you think you can survive for your comrades, until things turn out for the better. Then, one by one, gone. All gone. Hunted down? No. MUCH WORST. Gone in a way buried at the back of the mind, hidden in the dark; the thought of it enough to make him sob, shiver. And there was only one left; the most idiotic of them. The one who probably didn’t deserve to survive. Jael wasn’t the brightest bulb, and before he knew it he was in jail, under his fake name, waiting for his face, under his hair, beard and scars, to be recognised. But it never did. And he never understood how he managed to survive. Just going with the flow, fucking with every crack in the system he could see, because that is only what he did. And he did like he always did; he adapted to his environment. Build partnerships, found a group to hang around with. What changed? There were no rules anymore. It didn’t exist; the lingering familiarity of earlier years stroke his scalp. Only now he was much bigger, stronger… As his cellmate, Jael met a man, a man who was the exact type he despised. The same type of man who put him in this situation, and destroyed everything his heart held and could hold dear. The reason for the disappearance of his brothers in arm, the unknown state of his family; men who used others they deemed expandable to do their dirty work. A man seeing himself so high above the others, acting as he didn’t understand his situation at all. The white collar didn’t have to brag, it always showed in his eyes; how he saw those around him as ants and tools to be used. Jael would be unable to take it anymore at some point, and maybe, for the first time in his life, his eyes showed a another kind of spark. Was it rage? Passion? Anger? He didn’t know, he could only hear the pounding in his chest, grabbing this guy by his obnoxiously silky hair and bashing his head against the table, wasting away precious powder. Unlike what he felt in the past, this one never seemed to satiate. He had done nothing wrong; yet life decided to betray him. Jael was never much of a man of vengeance, although he believed in justice. However, in this moment, he could only cry out what he had lost and take it out on the person he suddenly decided to hold responsible. A smaller body than his could do nothing against his training, and the laugh and cheer of his mates only made the blood in his veins boil stronger. The hatred shoved up his guts at every striking snarks, and his victim’s razor sharp look while being held down, not wavering, only encouraged him further to relieve his needs of violence. Dump all dopamine in that motherfucker’s ass as a sign of dominance. Nevertheless, at some point, never did Jael knew this kind of release would happen more than once, with less eyes and noise. In bathed breath and confusion. In the midst of nothing being right, any progress being reset over and over in some pool of nonsense, there was only this. The sweet, sweet (or was it, really? No. It wasn’t, but he believed so.) sensation of biting and nailing against his body, hands wrapped against another’s throat like relieving some good memories of mission fatalities. Have his usual focus on the present enhanced by a thousand, and his desires suppressing any part of this pawn he didn’t want to look at, only the ones he could take a single drop of pleasure from; those white collar, soft and pale hands, those silky long hair, sultry shaped eyes and thoroughly moisturised skin. And, although he somehow dismissed it as a game, Jael felt a sense of satisfying ownership take over him while his shivs would run over the other, being his territory just like everything in this cell. It’d become some sort of a habit, yet not so often as to not arise suspicions; if anything others believed they were mostly at each others’ throats, with the guards not against that bastard being roughed up.. and they were right, because this wasn’t some cute lovemaking; a good half of it was attempted murder. Another crowd was even worst; they believed them to be rivals, friends in disguise. A crazed, vicious schedule settled in while Jael’s head slowly, but surely, forgot. Forgot everything. Outside this place. Like at the farm, where all day would be the same, and he’d stop counting the day and feel the seasons. His body had always been a tool to a mean, and his character darkened in pure survival and simple, basic needs. His mind cracked atop his personal dummy, violence taping as to not let it break. What shook him ever so slightly, was how his cellmate changed. Jael frowned while observing. It was so subtle, yet gradual. Even his dumb mind could pick up if the person he saw extensively everyday was shifting. The speech would switch, and they’d end up exchanging nearly amusing banter while he strangled the man until he passed out, spurting jokes while blood smeared alongside his arms and thighs. Jael’d never tell whatever he thought of his dear cellmate. It grew into something. Something he felt like had no word, no description. And before long he dared do something he didn’t do for real in so long; share. Share not facts which would only raise some points with inmates, but simple yet meaningful ones that reached the edges of his heart. Like generic childhood memories, hobbies, “i met a guy like that once”… There was nothing good about that relationship. Nothing he could ever share because no normal person could understand. It felt as close as it could be with a comrade… but in a twisted, perverse, way. Still, it was the one thing that seemed, at the very least, real. Where Jael could find an identity, and not only be driven by pure instinct, not acting like a simple sheep. The thing was, not once did he ever wonder what his cellmate was thinking, feeling. From the two of them, he was the most selfish now. Just acting impulsively, with no second thought on the consequences of his actions. He was never able to evolve more from there, because finally karma stroke. Whatever had been done in the shadows, it was performed nearly, he could say, admirably. Everything well put in place, inmates stealthily moving towards the exit as other stayed. The sense of eariness drowning in the air while he was sweeping the floor. Crashed furniture and thrown buckets of water, only had the time to fight off one person that a shiv was already piercing through Jael’s flesh, pain stunning his body long enough for another to go through his stomach. He was swept off his feet, back hitting the wet and soapy concrete floor, stained by his own blood. That is when John Smith was officially dead.

[first-son-of-finwe]

So this is my “leaving the fold” essay, which I mentioned some time ago. I wrote this mostly for myself because writing things down always helps me make sense of them, but quite a few people expressed interest in it, so here it is. 

I was raised as quite a strict Orthodox Christian, and the religion is a huge part of my mum’s life. This is mostly my experience of its ideas and processes, and how and why I ultimately decided to leave. It’s a bit rambling, all over the place and very long, but I kinda wanted to post it somewhere, so 🤷

TW for mentions of abortion, alcoholism and general conflict.

When I was twelve or thirteen, my parents and I set off on one of our regular trips to Russia. We used to do this every year before time and money became restricted, and one of our compulsory stops was always a large, sprawling monastery on the outskirts of the city of Nizhny Novgorod.

It’s a place of smiling nuns but very strict rules, where God forms a part of every sentence and church is mandatory for both mornings and evenings. It’s a place of communal meals, harvesting vegetables and milking cows, ringing bells, and lots and lots of praying. For me, it was a taste of pure rural life. I loved running through the fields, swimming in the pond and helping out with the manual tasks of running a communal settlement. I gasped in delight when I saw the lone horse in the field. Deep down I was never meant to be a city kid, and being at the monastery fuelled my dream of living the simple life.

But the fact that we were there purely for religious reasons? That was only an afterthought. An obligatory thing I had to go along with, because the adults expected it. Perhaps I tried to feel the same spirituality they seemed to experience, but I never quite got there.

I put on the headscarf, held the candle, wrote the names of my loved ones on prayer notes for the living. I bowed to the icons, made the sign of the cross when everyone else did. But I never truly connected.

One year on the day of a particularly significant celebration, a huge icon was carried over a horde of kneeling worshippers, and my mum told me to kneel down and pray for my dad to recover from his alcoholism. And so I did.

This is something I’d been praying for for a long time. It’s something I was told to pray for at every holy site, and before every relic. And no, he’s never quit drinking.

But I already knew that he wouldn’t, even as I knelt, closed my eyes and begged whichever saint was on that icon to help my dad quit drinking. I simply knew that it didn’t work that way.

I knew it the same way I knew that Santa wasn’t real. Every child seems to have experienced a shock-horror moment upon learning that they’d been deceived, but I recognised him for what he was right from the start - a story. For someone who’s always thrown themselves wholeheartedly into stories and fantasy, I’ve always had a very clear distinction between fact and fiction - though I’ve also not been so close-minded as to think that there isn’t a grey area in between.

No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I don’t think I ever truly believed in their version of what was supposed to be happening.

But I think my moving away from Orthodoxy truly began the day I heard my mum on the phone to her friend, who was at the beginning of a difficult pregnancy and was considering an abortion. She and her husband were on different pages with regards to this, though I don’t quite remember who wanted what. My mother’s advice was this: “Well you should really listen to your husband, because you know that a husband’s word is God’s word.”

Even being the believer that I was then, my immediate reaction was complete shock, followed by a thought process that went something like “Are you joking?? SERIOUSLY?”

And of course, it was hard not to think of my own father in his worst moments of drunkenness. So it seems “God’s word” is actually a whole lot of slurred, barely comprehensible nonsense occasionally sprinkled with some insults. That’s really the logic we’re going with here? And beyond that, how can you hand such a deeply personal decision to someone else??

When I went away to university for three years and spent considerable chunks of time away from my mother’s influence, my skepticism only deepened with every day. I couldn’t reconcile the science-driven environment I saw around me with the ideas being propounded in church. Sincerely believing in the Adam and Eve story, in this day and age? It didn’t compute.

Having said that, I would certainly not call myself an atheist even now. I think it is just as presumptuous to assume your absolute knowledge of the infinite universe and declare it contains nothing, as it is to declare that your religion is the only correct one. I find many things about the Christian God to be extremely convenient (just so happens to be an old white bearded man, oh fancy that), but I am certainly not convinced that there are no intelligent forces in the world, whatever shape they take. We are simply not in a position to know these things, and I’m okay with that. 

In turn, I treat anyone who claims to know them with intense suspicion.

Ultimately, leaving Orthodox Christianity was a long and painful process (I say ‘was’ in the past tense, but the truth is that it is still ongoing) filled with guilt, second-guessing, deliberate habit breaking and an extremely distressed and persistent mother. But my reasons for it boil down to four key things.

Their ideas did not match my ideas. I will never believe that women are obliged to be submissive to men. I will never believe that being gay (or in any way not straight) is a sin. I will never believe that Eastern Orthodoxy is the one true faith among all the other hundreds and thousands of faiths that exist on this planet. Living with your partner without being married is not a sin. Eating some chicken on a lent day is not a sin. A woman on her period is not “unclean.” Their ideas of good and bad, right and wrong seemed so incredibly outdated and arbitrary that it became hard to take anything they said seriously. And I felt so uncomfortable standing there, surrounded by people who I knew believed in all of this wholeheartedly.

Despite the religion branding itself as ‘Christian’, I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of the priests or worshippers talk about helping others. It is not on the agenda. People walk into church and think that because they’ve said their prayers, abstained from meat and dairy and then said their prayers some more, they’re now good people. But what have they done to make anyone’s life better? Who have they helped? Who have they listened to, cared for, understood? It’s not about that. It’s about making yourself feel good because you recited the Lord’s Prayer before eating your lunch.

The process of participating is extremely rigid, and trying to remember all those rules and traditions is honestly just stressful. Which hand do I kiss? How many times do I have to make the sign of the cross before approaching that super special icon? Do I have to touch the floor, or is that optional? Oh, everyone is kneeling...I guess I should kneel too. Once, I accidentally addressed the Archbishop as ‘Father’ and got a slew of disapproving looks from everyone around me. I think perhaps people find a certain kind of comfort and stability in routine, but having one imposed on you when you’re constantly unsure of the rules is not a pleasant experience.

Sometimes there is a very thin line between a religion and a cult, and Orthodoxy is toeing it a little too closely for comfort. I’ve seen it overpower people’s rational thinking and tap into their most powerful emotions in a way that’s honestly quite frightening.

The first step to leaving was progressively going to church less and less. I’d only ever really gone because my mum demanded it, but now, I put up a bit more resistance. I got screamed and yelled and cried at, and at first, of course I gave in. But little by little, I began to get the message across that I was simply not interested anymore.

Then, I deliberately made the choice to break certain habits. We always faced a row of icons on the wall and made a sign of the cross before leaving the house, and coming back in. It was such an ingrained habit that I did it automatically, and for the first few months, I had to physically catch myself in order to stop. That came with its own sense of guilt and hesitancy, and with the feeling that hey, now God is mad at you - hope a brick doesn’t fall on your head when you’re out there without his blessing.

The next step was removing the cross I’d worn around my neck ever since I’d been christened as a baby. Even now I can’t not wear something around my neck, so I have a little key necklace there in its place. Having a bare neck just looks too weird to me.

That cross came off and went back on at least three times. Each time I’d be persuaded, guilted, given the simple but effective phrase of “just do it for me.” I’ve removed it for what I hope will be the last time, and “just do it for me” won’t cut it anymore. If I converted to Islam tomorrow, would it be okay for me to ask someone to wear a hijab “for me”, even though they don’t share my faith? No, it wouldn’t. Religion and expression of religion is a personal choice, and not something you can strong-arm your adult children into.

Now, I’m in a fairly comfortable place where I’ve shed most of that initial guilt and am happy with my choices. I’ve even been back into church a couple of times just to meet a family member, only catching the end of the service - and even then, I’ve been reminded of exactly why I left. My mindset is simply too far removed to find any spiritual value in Orthodoxy.

Does my mother still try to get me into church? Yes. Are the attempts extremely mild and infrequent, compared to what they used to be? Yes. On one hand, I’d like to have a deep conversation with her and explain all the reasons why I have no interest in the religion anymore, but on the other hand, I know it’ll likely make her extremely upset.

Perhaps it’s better to just let it be.

[noobtiedoo]

Coming Out

I don’t really know where to pour my heart out other then Tumblr. Considering this site has the most random stuff i think it’s the right place to get this off my chest. It’s gonna be a long post so i will be pouring my heart out under the ‘keep reading’ line. Basically it boils down to the fact that I just came out as Non-Binary to the people i work with. Which leaves me in a whirlpool of emotions. I’ve already bawled my eyes out and i might do it again. Because i’m scared as hell, relieved as all hell and i feel like i can fucking breathe for the first time since forever. Everything is just overwhelming right now. But i need to get this off my chest. And i have literally no where else to post this. Just a heads up, i will be talking about my own experience, which brushes the subject of depression, anxiety and suicide. So if you’re sensitive to these subjects, i completely understand if you decide not to read. 

Onto my story:

First up, I’m Non-Binary. (He/Him Pronouns) And it may be a strange opening line but you have to understand that i haven’t been able to say this out loud, with pride, for years. I have been going through a really rough childhood and up until highschool i thought that it was because there was something wrong with me. As highschool progressed, things didn’t get any better, except for the fact that i started to understand something wasn’t necessarily wrong with me. I was just different then other people. And at the end of highschool i finally figured out what was what. But i couldn’t do anything with that knowledge. Depression, Anxiety, bullying and other things kept a lid on it. 

I thought it was best to suffer in silence because i was so scared that everything was going to get so much worse if i came out as a Non-binary person. On top of that, I’m a Pansexual. It’s a logical but not a great combo as these are two things that are very ‘new’ and ‘recently introduced’ to society. I know these things were existing before we could even give it a name. (And my heart hurts thinking of all those people in the past who struggled with this their whole lives unable to give it a name or come to terms with it)

I was struggling with multiple things, trying to keep my head above the water. Which backfired completely as i got depressed, my first ever girlfriend backstabbed me, which made me feel like an even more sore loser, i struggled with self esteem, my gender, my sexuality, my body, my personality. Basically everything a teenager would be going through except... It was really bad. So bad i wanted to end it all. I did try to push myself to commit suicide, but in the end i couldn’t go through with it. I thought it was too selfish to leave my parents and sisters behind without answers. And though at least i didn’t feel guilty for leaving them behind, i felt miserable with my life.

Fast forward to college, I was struggling. Walking around like a zombie. My education suffered, i suffered. My depression got worse. I had to quit and i spend half a year at home, in bed. Refusing to get up for anything other then food or the bathroom or maybe a shower if i felt like it. At this point i would hurt myself to distract me from the pain on the inside. If i felt pain on the outside, i wouldn’t pay attention to the fact that i felt like i couldn’t breathe, every day.

My parents eventually forced me to do some volunteer work. (no people involved, i had to go to a farm where special care was given to the disabled and feed the animals in the petting zoo there.) The animals made me feel more at ease and the fresh air did me some good. I was getting a bit better. I stopped hurting myself because the volunteer job distracted me enough. But i still felt like i couldn’t breathe. Until my parents suggested i go see a Psychiatrist. Help was help, or so i thought, so i agreed. But (and don’t get me wrong, i love my parents and respect their beliefs) the psychiatrist was from a Christian organization and he didn’t get me at.all. According to him i was suffering from a personality disorder and identity disorder. Which i KNEW wasn’t true. 

Naturally i quit therapy because the man wouldn’t listen to me. Now i’m a Christian too, and i know we aren’t all the same. But i didn’t want to risk it, so i went looking for a more open minded psychiatrist . One who was perhaps an atheist or hanging on some other religion. I didn’t care as long as he was open minded. (I didn’t feel comfortable with female psychiatrists at the time, but if i had i would have considered going to one) So i found a psychiatrist that i had a good feeling with and things started to get better. He helped me get through my trauma (I was sexually assaulted when i was eleven. Because of my low self esteem I couldn’t say ‘no’. I was too shy and timid to stick up for myself and this fucker knew and abused it.) He helped me gain more confidence. He helped me build up more self esteem and accept my sexuality. But Gender was still an issue.

Eventually we were at a stalemate. I felt like i had to figure the rest out for myself. He too said he gave me the tools i needed, but it was up to me to build my life. 

fast forward to my second attempt at collage. I struggled through a relationship that didn’t work. and ended things with my date in the start of the second year. It was a 3 year education program that eventually took me 5 and a half years to complete. But i did it. And i got my degree and boy i was proud. But then... I had to start working and put myself in the professional field. This was 3 years ago. Thinking back on the hell i went through to get where i was, i didn’t want to risk people misunderstanding me or turning me down because i was different. I kept my gender and sexuality trapped tightly in my private life. 

But you may have guessed it: It still made me feel miserable. I was lying to myself. And every time someone addressed me with female pronouns it was like someone was banging a hammer on a piano. I tried to ignore it but people started noticing i was very closed off and quiet and basically not a very happy person. I went from my first job to another employer somewhere else because i needed more hours. (there was never anything wrong with my first job, they just thought i was really shy. but i couldn’t get more hours so i moved on.) Hoping that it would be better there. Same story, same results. They noticed something was wrong. When i tried carefully to open up about what was bothering me, i got fired. That was at the start of this year. I tried hard to find a new job, the first job interview i had i felt like it had to be now or never. So i thought ‘fuck it all’ and i told them about my gender and that i preferred male pronouns even though i looked feminine. Guess what. They decided not to hire me. Big surprise. So the next time, i didn’t say a thing. 

Then i was about to get hired and then lockdown happened. And they laid me off. I was starting to feel depressed again. And helpless. Hopeless. I thought back on my first employer, and what a good time i had there despite my struggles and me being so quiet. So i was like: Why the hell not? And i tried again to get a job with the same employer. They had a place for me, not at the location i worked at before, but at a different one. Five days a week. I felt like i just witnessed a miracle when they decided to hire me. But i didn’t tell them anything about my gender or struggles, i just told them i have trouble opening up but i’m really trying. And they are patient with me and help me wherever they can. It’s also a Christian organization, but they are much more open minded then you’d expect religious people to be. (To be fair not everyone employed there is actually religious) 

Two months go by and i’m having a good time. The job is perfect, my co workers are really nice. I’m having a great time. But there is still that nagging feeling every time a kid calls me Teacher. (I’m Dutch. We don’t have a word like Teacher. With us it’s divided into Female teachers ‘Juffen’ And Male teachers ‘Meesters’) So they naturally call me the female equivalent of teacher. And i absolutely hate it. Again i hear that hammer banging on the piano and i feel like i can’t breathe. Then i learn that one of my co-workers is a Lesbian and in a relationship and everyone is acting so normal about it. And she has been working there for 6 years now. It broke something in me. I just didn’t want to lie to myself and others anymore. But because of everything that happened i was so scared to come out as Non-Binary.

So a few weeks ago i was finally so fed up with everything and the constant feeling that my chest was constricted and a knot being in my throat every time a kid called me teacher. So finally, there were some kids joking about boys and girls and what would make someone a boy or a girl. (kids are so sweet and innocent at the age of 5 they don’t know any better) So some of the girls were giggling and started calling me the male equivalent of teacher. I nearly cried. I never felt so happy in my life. But then one of my co-workers tried to correct them and i just blurted out: “Please don’t correct them. It’s fine. They can call me that.” 

She was surprised. And i thought: ‘What did i do now?’ But on second thought, it didn’t give me the chance to run away again or hide or keep struggling in silence. Because later she asked me what i meant with it and i told her my story. Of how my gender and how i was addressed effected me. I told her everything and i was shaking. I was scared, i was on the edge of crying, because i remembered all the times that me coming out as a person, with my Non-binary gender had caused me more harm then good.

She was very calm about it. I could tell she was trying her best to understand even if she was left a bit confused, and we talked about solutions. She then suggested that if it would make me really happy, then starting immediately, we would teach these kids to address me with my name instead of as a teacher. (I work in after care for kids who’s parents have to work, so we pick them up from school and look after them until dinner time when their parents pick them up. We aren’t teachers anyway.) 

I never really thought about that. And i agreed on the solution. So then we started to teach these kids to address me with my name. Another co worker i often work with heard this being brought into practice, which also kind of left me to explain to her why this was now a thing and why it needed to continue to be a thing. So i told my story to her. Again i was scared as hell, shaking and near crying. But she also responded calmly and told me she thought i was brave and that she would try to help me teach these kids to address me by my name.

I work with one other co worker on a regular basis. I haven’t told her the why yet but i asked her to help me teach the kids to address me with my name. (those kids are 6-7 years old and are a little easier when teaching something new) She agreed even if she didn’t know why. I will tell her soon. Probably next week. But i’m still nervous and my emotions are all over the place.

I also told my ehmm superior? Is that the word? I don’t know but she works at the office on our location to organize everything for everyone and make sure we have a list of which kids are coming on which days and stuff like that. I ended up telling half of my story to her too. She was interested but busy with a lot of other things too, which made it even scarier to tell her. (I always get more scared if i can’t really figure out how a person is going to respond or if the response is too vague for me to be able to tell if it was bad or good). But she was very calm about it too. So i want to see if i can sit down with her sometime and tell her my whole story to see if she can understand it a little better, and how we’re going to implement this in my work. Who needs to know, who can know and how we will solve the pronouns thing. (Although she seemed happy with the solution of calling me by my name. She seemed to support it) 

So as you can guess, after the last two weeks my emotions and feelings have been all over the place. I don’t sleep well some nights because all of this is going on and it’s so recent and fresh that i’m still worried. but... I can breathe.. For the first time since forever i can breathe. I’m happy. I’m not lying to myself. I don’t have to hide. And even if they don’t fully understand it, i’m finally being fully supported. 

(I love my parents as i’ve said before. But because of their beliefs they can’t fully support me. They will always love me. But to them i will never be anything else than their daughter and their little girl. And though it hurts my heart more then they realize, they refuse to use male pronouns for me. But they love me and they will never ever turn me away. I will always be welcome in their home. They will always love me as their child. They will never cut me off or disown me or turn away from me. So they support me. Just not 100% in the way i wished they would.) 

(My sisters are more open. Though my older sister has some trouble, she tries to use he/him even though she told me honestly that she doesn’t think she can ever see me as her little brother. So i told her ‘Don’t. Because i’m Non-Binary. Just see me as your little person.’ She laughed and said: Alright.  My little sister is the easiest. She doesn’t mind calling me Bro. She even said she always wanted a brother so she calls me dude and bro and uses he/him and i love her for it.)

But now at my work of all places (next to my few friends who use he/him as well) i have people who support me fully and try to help me be who i am without me having to feel ashamed for it or repressing it because i think being myself will cause me more harm then good. I can be myself. I can finally just let go. I have cried so hard already and i’m almost crying again typing this all out. Good god i know it’s a long story but... I’m just so overwhelmed. I needed to get this all out there one way or another. Just because i’m so overwhelmed that i need an outlet. So Tumblr. Here you go. This is my coming out story and i’m gonna go off and bawl my eyes out in a corner again because... I am overwhelmed.

[mackwritess]

Scarlet Cross

Summary: When Evan is chosen to take a job interviewing a member of a small town, he’s a little disappointed. But once the secret of the town is revealed, he and the rest of the world realize that something bigger... something evil... is at work here

Word count: 2k+

Evan doesn’t understand why he had to be the one to take this job.

Really, what’s so special about a little town no one’s heard of? His boss had told him that this town had history, that it could be a really interesting news story. Evan thinks it’s just been a slow news week, and the studio needed something to fill the gaps. He doesn’t complain much, though. Work is work, and he’s been struggling for it. He’s also thankful that he was allowed to bring his friend, Blair, who had been working with him since the beginning.

After following his GPS to their destination, Evan arrives, and he feels even the title of “town” is too big a word for this place. It feels more like a village. Driving along the main road, he takes in the little landmarks scattered about. A small bank sits at the intersection between the main road and another, noticeably smaller, street. Placed next to it is a general store, with no parking lot in sight. Evan assumes that most are out of town shopping, as there’s no possible way someone could get everything they need here.

He takes a turn down a small street, almost worried that his car won’t fit, and continues looking for the place he was supposed to be. It takes no time to get there, to the point where he almost misses it, and he turns into the small parking area.

“Scarlet Cross Church, huh? Weird name,” Blair says upon seeing the old sign next to the even older building.

“I hear people from out of town aren’t allowed in at all,” Evan says, helping Blair to get their filming equipment out of the vehicle.

“Wonder why they made an exception for us.”

“Tourism, probably. People love forbidden places. Intrigue or whatever.”

The two of them begin putting their camera together, and after finally finishing up, they make their way to the steps of the church and knock on the door.

They only have to wait a few seconds before the door opens slowly, revealing a short, elderly woman dressed in all white.

“Are you two here with the news station we spoke to?” She questions, eyeing the recording equipment they have.

“Yes ma’am!” Evan says, a little too enthusiastic all of a sudden. “Are we too early?”

“No, no. You’re right on time. Come right in.” She turns around and motions for the two of them to follow her in.

~

To say that the exterior of the church was misleading would be an understatement. Gorgeous columns were scattered around the building, further showing how long the building had been around. There were flowers growing in large pots along the walls, to add color to the blank slate that was the rest of the church. But these paled in comparison to the main attraction of the place.

An intricate mural made of stained glass was placed at the front of the church. In it, it depicted a great figure dressed in white, kicking another figure clad in red out of the clouds. It didn’t take an extremely religious person to figure out what was being shown.

“This place is beautiful,” Blair whispers, not wanting to disturb the tranquility of the place.

“No wonder they’re so careful about who they let in here,” Evan says. He’s still taking everything in when the woman calls for them up at the podium.

“I’d really like to be sure that our mural is captured on camera,” the woman explains. “It’s really the crown jewel of this place.”

Blair positions their camera, making sure both the mural and the woman are in frame.

“May I ask your name before we begin?” Evan asks, straightening his shirt.

“You can just refer to me as the head of the church, if that’s okay with you.”

“Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.” Evan turns to Blair, “Are we ready?” Blair nods.

~

“We’re coming to you live from the Scarlet Cross Church, a place that was closed off to out of town visitors until now! We’re here with the head of church. What made you decide to finally allow outside eyes in?” Evan is now much more cheery than he was upon arrival. Though he’s waiting for his career to finally take off, he still loves his job no matter how small.

“We as a community consider this church to be our pride and joy. And we decided that not only should we finally reveal it to the world, but also share the secret of this town.”

Evan and Blair give each other a quick glance because getting back to business.

“What secret might that be?”

“You see, while most people believe that some aspects of religion are untrue, or perhaps even religion as a whole, I am here to tell you all that it’s all real. For we ourselves are apart of that mythicism.”

Another glance is shared between the two of them. What had the studio gotten them into? Still, Evan plays along.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“This town, including myself, is home to a clan of fallen angels.”

“What-“

Before Evan can interrupt, the woman take a step back, and feathers begin sprouting from her back. At first, only a few, but suddenly a pair of wings sprout all at once from her. But these wings aren’t anything like the ones that have been described for centuries.

These wings are a deep red.

The two stans there, dumbfounded at what they’ve just witnessed.

“We would like to invite people from around the world to come and learn about us. We are real, and we would like to spread the word.”

~

It wasn’t long before the news segment went viral. Some called it a hoax, just some special effects the network was using to up their ratings. Others believed that this was the sign the world needed that there was indeed a creator out there. Regardless of explanation, one thing was certain.

People were going to flock to this town to see for themselves.

And flock they did. People from all walks of life, religions zealots, disillusioned atheists, and YouTube channels whose focus was on the supernatural, all gathered here to see what they could find.

The town was much different than when Evan had first arrived here just two weeks ago.

Civilians were now out of their homes, greeting tourists. It was easy to tell who was who, as natives of the town all sporting the burning red wings that everyone had only seen on tv. Children on both sides playing together, the native children flying around while the others shrieked with glee.

Morale was high today, because the head of the church announced they would be holding a special service in the church. The amazement of a church service being held by actual angels was surely one for the ages.

Naturally, the studio once again sent out the duo that had made the discovery to begin with. They were there to broadcast the festivities, and later, the service. They made their way around the town, taking in the sight of cheerful people of all ages. Eventually, they found themselves at the church once again, and decided to visit for a short while.

Stepping inside again, there was a different feel this time. It was now bustling with people, Evan assumed they were members of the clergy, getting ready for tonight’s event. At last, he found the head, and went to speak with her.

“I never thought I’d see this place so lively!” Evan says, grabbing the woman’s attention. She offers him a smile.

“It’s all thanks to you,” she says. “I’ve never in all my years seen our little town so happy.”

“I’m really glad to hear that,” he says, admiring the decor. There are candles lit all over the room, giving it an almost romantic feel. He turns back to meet her eyes, and noticing she looks a little sad. “Did I say something wrong?” She shakes her head.

“No, no. Don’t worry about me, everything is fine. You should go out and enjoy the festivities. The service will begin soon.” Evan nods and offers a wave goodbye before heading out to look for Blair.

One of the clergymen, having seen their interaction, walks up to her.

“You took pity on him, for just a moment.”

“I do wish I could have spared him. He seems like a sweet boy.” She thinks for a moment. “But this is what must be done. This has been too long in the making.”

“I imagine you’ve been waiting for this day more eagerly than any of us.” She nods.

“Soon. Soon I will be free.”

~

Slowly but surely, citizens and visitors alike began making their way to the church. Evan worried not everyone would be able to fit inside, but people were so desperate to be here that they even stood up in the empty space that was left.

Evan and Blair made sure to stay in the back. It was there that they would be able to capture the full picture.

“We come to life once again from inside the Scarlet Cross Church, where for the first time caught on camera, a service hosted by angels will take place. We have the exclusive on this history making occasion.” Evan steps out of the way, so that the whole scene would be visible to the public.

“Will everyone who is able please take a seat? The service will now begin.” The Church head says, effectively silencing everyone in attendance as they turn their attention to her. “We will open with a prayer in our native language.”

The head along with the clergy begin their prayer. In a language that is clearly ancient, they begin speaking in unison.

It doesn’t happen immediately, but the air begins to feel heavier as the chanting continues, becoming almost suffocating. Soon, the ground begins to shake. Subtly at first, but increasing to earthquake like trembling in a short amount of time. The people within the church struggle to remain upright, trying to hold on to whatever is nearby to remain steady.

And then, the shaking stops. The air becomes breathable again.

“It is done. None of you will be able to escape the town. You will remain here until the sacrifice begins.”

A wave of confusion and disbelief ripples through the crowd, some rushing out to see for themselves. The woman turns and looks directly into the camera.

“My name is Lilith. I was the first to be cast out of the kingdom of Heaven and to this land. Now, with your sacrifice, I will be set free.”

Panicked screams begin to bounce off the walls of the church. Everyone is in a rush to escape, still believing there’s a way to escape.

Evan is stood still. His mind begs for him to follow the crowd, to try to find a way out. But his body knows there is no use. Soon, the church is empty, sounds of chaos coming from outside.

The woman, who Evan now knows as Lilith, makes her way over to him.

“I’m sorry you had to get caught up in this. If there was a way for me to spare you, I would have done so. But I’ve been here for longer than even your ancestors. It’s time for me to leave.”

She walks past him without another word, and Evan’s legs give way under him, making him collapse to the ground.

~

On the outskirts of the town, she can hear cars crashing. People who still think they can get away, trying in vain to force their way through the barrier that had risen. She can only sigh. She doesn’t blame them for wanting to escape this place. It’s been her goal for a millennia.

She can feel the power slowly coursing through her body. It’s almost time now. Soon the life force of everyone will be drained, and everyone who has been cast here for their crimes would be able to go where they wish. As she makes her way through, people notice her.

Some cower in fear, hoping that she will spare them. Others try attacking her, only to be stopped by someone else of her species. She sees Blair, desperately searching for Evan, after realizing they had left him behind in the commotion.

She even sees a small group praying.

Before she can even think to say anything to them, she notices people around them beginning to drop, their bodies laying lifeless.

She’s so close.

The others begin dropping like dominos soon after, and after a few more final screams are heard, there’s silence.

“It won’t be long before he’s back.” She says to no one in particular.

She makes her way to the edge of the town. The place where she’s been held captive for as long as she can remember. She take the first step out, cautious, despite being a creature with unheard of powers. Then, another. Eventually she finds her self miles away from her prison. For the first time in a long time, she sees the outside.

For the first time in a long time, she’s free.