#they have so few on screen interactions but their similarities and differences make me insane

[hesgomorrah]

less generic homophobic macho man trapper more trapper with catholic guilt

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles 17 ways Dark can insult you

It's been aWHILE.

Not Green practically begging this man to stop abusing Dark Link.

Shadow being insanely bitter at Green's position as the "Leader" of the group isn't well hidden here. When Shadow was in charge of things, he has shown to be very...Abusive. Like there's not a lot of ways around that lmfao. He was seemingly way less abusive to the Hinox's than the rock monster but like, we barely saw them interact.

Green appealing to Dark's emotions by stating "Shadow's kinds scary" is hilarious to me. Throw the shade Green Shadow deserves it a little at this point.

Green's got the right idea that introductions this late is probably a very bad idea given EVERYTHING going on.

I personally just love Dark chewing on Green's fingers it's cute. It's the kind of thing a cat would do lmfao. Green doesn't seem to mind it since he lets him do it till the next panel lmfao.

"Vaati's such a prick!" Shadow says. As if Vaati chose to make the curse sentient...And it wasn't like. A mistake. Quite the assumption there pal.

Ya think it would have assumed a physical form 7 years ago when he was created if that was the case but ehhhh-

As soon as Green falls into his anxieties Dark laughs like a crazy person. Because this dude feeds on emotions and that power is rated E for everyone, he doesn't discriminate against good or bad emotions.

Yeah well for laughing like a loon Daddy Shadow's gonna abuse him some more. You're a terrible dad Shadow Link.

Poor Green is concerned about Dark's wellbeing.

The fucking face Green makes after Dark is yanked is based on this meme:

Because it's funny as hell to me.

Also Shadow wrongly assumes what Dark's powers are:

I mean it's TRUE that he does feed off negativity. But the same is true for positive emotions too. Dark Link actually outright admits to preferring them on a few occasions. Dark Link is bad at being a parasitic curse.

Shadow dramatically stuffing Dark back into his hat is one of my favorite panels of this sequence. It's so dramatic and silly.

CALL. HIM. OUT. SIS.

Shadow needs to know when he's being an ass.

Green will give credit when it's due but Shadow was AWFUL TO THEM.

Some stuff to note:

Green doesn't actually answer the question on if he forgives Shadow or not. Haaaah.

That sure won't be relevant later, but it's pretty heavily implied he hasn't fully forgiven Shadow but IS willing to make an effort to accept him anyway.

Green being a bro here is smth I liked writing.

Green's hard to characterized so I ended up taking him in a different but SIMILAR direction to his cannon manga counterpart.

Like...Green didn't have a lot of his own traits vs the OG Link. He mainly just existed to be the voice of reason. Which is fine. But giving him depression means he can be a bit more interesting in my eyes than just "Diet Link" XDDDD

Green reminding us that him and Link had full conversations with each other at various points.

Which is. Interesting. I can't remember how much I dived into the concept of that in fsr rambles. But that is weird.

It suggests a level of detachment Link has from the four of them to the point he is able to have his own opinions/thoughts/and is able to do actions completely dethatched from all four.

Link is destinctly his own entity compared to the four of them...If that's the case. Where did that consciousness GO.

Perhaps a question to look into at a later date.

For now Green's giving some good ol hugs and thoughts to his pal Shadow Link.

Hah I'm sure you were glad Shadow.

And this page makes me laugh like hell at the implications in the 2nd to past panel.

I'm flabbergasted yall didn't catch that on release of these pages.

Like.

C'mon now.

They're blushing and touching each other.

Next panel they're missing articles of clothes (Their tunics specifically.) and have distinctly embarrassed looks on their faces, Green is hiding his neck for some reason and Blue's dialogue eludes to a substantial amount of time passing.

They did smth sus off screen and yall just, missed that.

I'm very disapointed nobody caught that till I pointed it out. I thought I was being too obvious with that shit.

Green hasn't exactly been hiding the fact he's been very eager for physical contact is all I'm saying.

LMFAO. Okay funny thing:

Shadow didn't have a bed. Because: Why the fuck would you give a shadow a bed.

Shadow also couldn't FEEL things in his weird limbo shadow state. Because he has been IN Link's bed before. Just couldn't actually feel it being comfortable.

No wonder dude has been touch starved to hell.

Idk what it is about the second to last page but I like Green and Shadow interacting and Shadow being a happy little camper.

Even though he's a dick he deserves to be happy with his family. (Smth I dislike strongly is how that dude got relegated to being Link's damn shadow at the end of the manga like...Noooooooo)

Green's had time to think about the things necessary for them all to live together which is sweet.

Link didn't do this before to have less suspicion he was actually gonna draw the sword.

Adding rooms to the house when he lives alone would have been SO SUS.

Green's excited at the prospect of their new life. Even if it'll be hard.

I did an oopsie in this page and didn't color shadow's glove and I'm not fixing it lmfao. Pretend it's there, this is a free comic on the internet. 😭

Blue yeeting a pillow at Green is funny since this is the second time this night the dude has told Green to get some damn sleep.

Greeeen can't sleep though.

I get it pal. I'm an insomniac too. 😞

Vaati's back.

And he cut his hair.

Dark's a silly goofy guy and noticed that because he's a creep.

There's just a whole other level of rude here because like:

Dark it's cut already wtf is he meant to do? X'D

Visually: it's worth noting they're in the temple Shadow dragged vio to at the beginning of the story.

Vaati has seemingly made that place his new home.

Dark's bluntness in the first panel just gets a kick out of me. He really thinks Vaati is dumb as hell and it shows.

Just to make it more obvious:

Dark wasn't ever referring to Vaati with the term "Master" in reference to he himself being Vaati's worker. He was referencing it in terms of Vaati being his teacher.

Which is like rubbing salt in a giant stab wound considering Vaati's former Master Ezlo and him weren't on good terms.

A fun thing to note: After Dark asks up front what he SHOULD call Vaati. Vaati responds with "Get off my bed" and didn't verbally protest to just "Vaati".

You'll notice Dark calls Vaati just "Vaati" from here on out I believe exclusively.

Which is pretty funny to think about because if Vaati had pulled his head out of his ass for a second and just told Dark what he preferred to be called, Dark probably would have actually listened in this moment since it was a genuine question.

Dark Link is only an annoyance if you fall into his traps. or have a bloated as hell ego like Vaati.

Vaati holding Dark Link like a spider by the leg here is so damn funny to me while Dark just, openly shows he would start touching this man the second he got to close if given the opportunity.

He did kiss Vaati without warning a few chapters ago so, don't really blame Vaati for wanting to avoid that. X'D

This entire sequence is just funny to me. But what's new.

Dark's being an oversharing weirdo and Vaati can't handle affection.

Smth I'm sure yall have noticed: Dark's expressions started off as creepy and disturbing and now have evolved into being goofy as fuck.

Dark can't emote properly. So the idea his face is just, all kinds of messed up expression wise has just as much comedic value as creep value. It can either be uncanny or silly.

The more frequently Dark makes "Disturbing expressions" the audience will get numb to it. As Dark becomes a character the audience outwardly is meant to like, smth disturbing about him becoming smth funny is a way of shifting perspective on a lot of aspects of him.

Smth I particularly like about the last panel is how Vaati visually cannot see dark but just knows he's there. XD

The fun thing about this scene is how you could really see it from both their perspectives here.

Vaati is very cynical. He's been hurt a lot (His own fault but still) he doesn't trust people and feels very alone. He misses the one time he connected with someone (Link from Minish cap).

But he's hesitant to make connections due to his attempt at redemption falling flat.

And then There's Dark Link:

Dark Link, is delusional to a degree but also painfully aware of other things.

His delusion is that he's a hero. Vaati's specifically which is why he compared Vaati to Zelda when he spoke to Shadow Link.

Vaati is the one he's protecting and keeping safe, Vaati is someone he cares about deeply even if Vaati, in every way: Sucks majorly.

But unlike Minish cap Link he doesn't try to get Vaati to change who he is.

He likes Vaati for who he is. Even if he thinks he's literally the worst.

At the end of the day: Dark isn't protecting Vaati because he was MADE too. He protects him because he wants too. And that's smth Vaati takes majorly for granted which we'll see down the line...

Dark's offering him unconditional love and Vaati can't understand that shit. Dark's loyalty confuses and just kinda frustrates him.

Since it's not logical. It's purely emotional.

Oh so much to say.

It's so hard to put into words what I think about their dynamic and why I love them. They're very messy but on equal footing. Vaati could push Shadow around and disrespect him in FSR I took the route Shadow and Vaati have an abusive parent and child relationship. But with Dark, that shit just doesn't work on Dark (at least for now) because the man is delusional as hell.

He truly believes he is not only smarter than Vaati but that he is THE ONLY THING protecting him and in a lot of ways: That's outright true.

A LOT of Dark Link's delusions have roots in reality. (Shadow saying they were "Family" so he wrongly associates Shadow as his "father" the only family Link had for instance.)

Vaati has to be kinda stupid from a writing standpoint (Cannon manga or not) because he needs to be defeat-able. His flaws boil down to making stupid as hell choices because he's narcisistic to a fault.

He can't think of shit outside of purely benefiting himself which...In the long run fucks himself over.

Dark is the kind of person you cannot argue with. Because he's insane.

Dark's not afraid of death, or pain...So it leads you to wonder what his weakness is. (And oh boy I hope that pays off haha.)

You throw something at Dark, he will spit it right back in your face 10 fold and he will be MEAN about it. Dark will low blow you into oblivion because it works.

Dark's morals are ALL OVER THE PLACE because he simultaneously thinks he is a curse made to destroy people emotionally and also thinks he's a hero.

In this case, Vaati's ego is Dark's ego.

At this point: Dark hasn't failed. He's done exactly as he's been asked in a round about way/depending on how you look at it.

I ain't even gonna pretend this scene wasn't meant to be sus.

Dark's very "Words are important" kind of guy for someone who sucks at communication haha.

Smth to note dialogue wise:

Dark's insult in the 2nd to last panel was him calling Vaati a baby effectively lmfao.

Since Picori are like mice/rats him calling Vaati a "Pup" was meant to insinuate Vaati is acting an infant Picori which just adds to the insult imo. Like instead of JUST calling Vaati a child he used language that was more suited to Vaati's upbringing.

That just cracks me up.

He went the extra mile to effectivly say "you're a poopy diaper baby huh?"

The last panel is just such: You have to get the last word huh? moment for Dark hahaha. X'D

1st panel:

Dark insinuates he is something OTHER than a curse which is odd. Though you can assume he just means he's a hero. But then again: Why does he think he's a hero exactly.

And the further conversation leads to a very odd revelation.

Vaati, by being in the four sword connected to Link, was cursed.

Which explains why Dark Link can see his memories when Vaati earlier in the comic referenced that he SHOULDN'T.

Woops.

This also explains why it works on Shadow Link. Because Shadow was magically attached to Link at the time of being cursed, Dark affects the three who were influenced by the sword and it's wielder at the time.

Dark's dialogue is further confusing/has weird implications when he asks Vaati:

"Perhaps you forgot what you WANTED, and where you WERE when you created me?"

Dark on multiple occasions has outright referenced the idea he was made to protect Vaati.

Which is weird if you think about it.

Dark wasn't made to just hurt people, but to protect something. Specifically VAATI, but this behavioral aspect makes a lot of sense when you consider he was created for.

Smth a bit morbid:

Dark Link outright states here he believes Link/his colors will kill him. And doesn't seem to care in the slightest.

Well Dark seems fine with his mortality as long as he gets to use it to protect Vaati.

2nd panel insult had me rolling it's so mean and out of pocket but what's new for Dark.

He brushes off Vaati's threats of curse breaking because: Well he's right about Vaati needing him at least for now.

We end on a very goofy note of Dark begging for more kisses if he does a good job. Which shows dude has optimism pouring out of his ass rn.

[blackknightax]

Who's your favorite video game villain?

There are so many good video game villains and so many different kinds of video game villain. I feel like I don't have one single favorite. But I can name a few I really like and why I like them.

Let's start with Handsome Jack the Villain of Borderlands 2. He's a man where his every interaction is just OOZING with charisma and hilarity, until about 2/3rds of the way through the game, then he changes into a scorned man who hates your very soul. He's the epitome of what makes a good video game villain in a mostly comedic game. You don't want to hate him but you also do, he's just so callous and nonchalant about who and what he is, but he still sees himself as the hero of this world, because this world is bat shit insane. He thinks, genuinely the best course of action is a global reset.

Second I'll add Diablo from the Diablo games. I'll admit, darkness and demons are a bit of an aesthetic of mine. So obviously the big demon guy is a favorite of mine. Diablo might be half the reason I come to those games, even thought I've only ever reached him in Diablo 3 (don't know if he's in 4, don't spoil it, but I assume not). Diablo was my main in Heroes of the Storm, him and Rexxar. I don't think there is a specific reason I like Diablo, I think I just, do.

Of course I love Bowser, Bowser is just a great character. He has one schtick, and we love that schtick. But he's so charming about it in a weird way.

On topic but not, I love villains who are evil just for the sake of being evil. It isn't relatable or realistic, but I'm not here for realism, I come to video games for fantastical worlds where I can be something I cannot be in real life. But Evil just for the sake of it are entertaining. Like, I won't complain about a backstory or anything or even a very valid reason but evil for just for the sake of it has it's place in my eyes.

I am also gonna mention Dr Wily and Eggman at the same time. Both are great villains for similar and different reasons. Both are unspeakably evil when you look at their actions and apply them to real life, but within their own universes, they seem like bumbling fools who just happen to have PHDs it's great. And I'd believe you if you told me Eggman doesn't have one, he just calls himself doctor.

I give one more megaman villain a mention. Dr. Wile. That man, is just, look at the list of his atrocities and think, there can't be a single good quality to this man. And that's what makes him such a good villain, you hate his every moment on screen, he mocks you for existing, his every breath makes you hate him more and more. This type of villain makes it 1000 times more satisfying when you somehow overcome him.

I'm not gonna do a smash post today because... Time escaped me. I think tomorrow I'm gonna do research for my "Nintendo Deep cuts" category by watching a full playthrough of the game I've chosen for this role

[lordisitmine]

TTNBD BLOG: PART THREE

Welcome back; as always, spoilers for this week’s installment. Sorry this post is a few days late- I had my hands full with some real-life stuff but it’s the morning of New Year’s Eve and I finally have a day off to sit and write some commentary!

Let’s talk face casts! I don’t normally do real-life face-casts for fictional characters that already exist, but for my OCs it’s kind of necessary, since no one other than me really has a concrete frame of reference for how they look. I tried to draw them of course, but that doesn’t really always translate for me into how they look in my brain. Except for Sybil. My drawing of Sybil was perfect, and the one of her mom as well, that’s exactly how I imagined those two characters, but you can and should disregard the other drawings I did lol. So, if you’re really wondering what Simeon Montrose and Madame LaChance look like, I have good news! I have face casts for them!!

In chapter two, I described Madame LaChance as “the most beautiful woman Lizzy had ever seen” and that’s because I imagined her as the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, or at least one of them, and an actress I’m obsessed with- Carla Gugino. There’s just something about her face and her body and her energy on screen that just makes me feel insane. She has this hypnotic charming quality that is exactly how I wanted characters and readers to feel when they interact with Madame. Incidentally, if you’ve never watched the Haunting of Hill House or The Fall of the House of Usher, I HIGHLY recommend that you do so. Two incredible horror series, both of them are on Netflix and they’re 8 episodes each. She is in both of them. Madame’s hair and eyes are different colours of course but like. That’s the face.

I always had a face cast for Simeon without realising it. When I described him, I had this fac in mind, and then when I actually sat down and thought “who does he look like irl?” my brain was like “Luke Evans. You were thinking of Luke Evans this whole time.” Specifically, these pictures, because his facial hair and age is similar to Simeon’s, even though Simeon’s hair and eyes are a different colour.

Perhaps now that I’ve actually nailed down my face casts, I can do proper portraits of these characters. On top of the rapidly growing pile of other sketches I want to do OOF.

CHAPTER THREE: WAIT AND HOPE

I thought it was time to have some Sybil backstory/POV. The fact that she’s half-demon and has some abilities from that is going to be a much more significant part of the story as we continue, and as a minor spoiler/teaser I will tell you that she had no idea what her dad actually is or what that makes her. Shhhh it’s a surprise for later. Obviously I’ve revealed that she’s able to see the spirits of the dead, but I’m gonna keep her other abilities hush-hush for the time being, she doesn’t even realise she has some of them, and I’ll get into the mythology of half-demon children a bit later. I promise I won’t leave you hanging.

We have a literary reference as a title again! This time it’s from The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, which is a story about faking your death and getting revenge, among other things. A little on the nose maybe- but it amused me, so I included it. I liked the idea of Ciel having read it in English and having this visceral reaction to it, and then seeing if the context of the line “all human wisdom is contained in these two words- wait and hope” had a different context or meaning that made it less stupid (to him) in French, since he lives in France now, and the book was originally written in French, and things sometime get lost in translation.

Also, I’m half-accidentally half-intentionally mirroring his and Lizzy’s narratives in this story, and she was reading in the last chapter, so it just fell into place when I was trying to give him something to chew on with his angst in this chapter. Don’t worry, that’s the last literary reference I have planned for now, lol.

Let’s talk about the ring!! Ciel’s ring from the series is based on the Hope Diamond, an actual diamond that was owned by many famous people who all ended up suffering horrible deaths/trauma. Life is funny that way, but of course, people decided that it must be the diamond that was cursed. In Ciel’s case, it was a Phantomhive family heirloom, and all of his ancestors who wore the ring ended up dying horrible deaths. Including him.

So, naturally, Sebastian had to take that and turn it on its head. I already reblogged the post on my blog (scroll down a little), but Tumblr users noirserviteur and azuresins designed, 3D printed and then cast in sterling silver (with real stones I think) a replica/depiction of Ciel’s ring, which I used as reference images for my design. I changed the stone, since it is a different, but similar, diamond- the stone in my version is circular, to fit the engraving of the contract seal.

Sebastian giving Ciel a ring is another way to like, show possession, because this motherfucker is possessive. Also, the original ring was a symbol of a curse that was haunted Ciel in his mortal life. This new ring is sort of Sebastian’s way of saying “no one gets to curse/haunt you forever except me” which is super romantic. Not that either of them sees their bond as a curse, but like, it’s an eternal, unbreakable attachment, which is sort of like a curse in some ways I guess. A Super fun, romantic curse.

And they’re dancing! The song they’re dancing to is Waltz no. 19 in A Minor, b.150, OP- Posth (1860) by Frederic Chopin. It’s always a fun writing exercise to describe music as the characters are hearing it, and I hope I did a good job nailing down the vibe. These two are very Chopin-coded to me, whatever that means. I listen to a lot of classical/instrumental music when I write, and while I haven’t made any playlists, I’m partial to these ones on Spotify when I work on this story specifically. This one is one I find to be specific to Lizzy & Sybil. I am a huge music person; I can’t do anything without my tunes.

There… was not supposed to be a sex scene in this chapter. I honestly hadn’t planned on writing one, but oh boy howdy did this thing want to be written. It’s probably the fastest I’ve ever finished a sex scene (it normally takes me AGES to write porn). And it ended up being super hot (if I do say so myself). I guess these two just really wanted to fuck lmao.

Now that the contract is over (or not over, now that it has morphed into something else), Ciel and Sebastian aren’t really master and servant anymore. So, I love flip-flopping on the power dynamics between them, especially when it comes to sex. When Ciel “orders” Sebastian around in this scene, Sebastian doesn’t have to obey, but he chooses to. What would have once been a tangible command is now just role-play and it’s still so fun to write!

The Christmas stuff was fun to write too. As I said, I’m (sort of) intentionally mirroring Ciel and Lizzy’s story lines here, so I wanted Lizzy to get some jewellery too. I browsed through listings for necklaces of the time and found this one, which I thought was just perfect. I would 100% buy it if I had 1,450 US dollars lying around. I think blondes look really great in green, and Lizzy’s eyes are green, so despite her colour scheme in the anime being super pink and girly I’m putting her in a lot green in this story *glances at the next upcoming chapter). I have multiple party-type events lined up in this one so for you purists out there, don’t worry, she’ll be back in pink eventually.

I grew up in Canada, so ice skating on ponds and lakes local rinks, be it for figure skating or hockey or just for fun was a big part of my childhood. I have a lot of fond memories of ice skating with my family and I thought hey, they probably skate on the Thames and the Sienne rivers, right? We Ontarians do that in Ottawa when the Ottawa river freezes up in the winter. I didn’t even bother looking it up to see if they did it/do it in Europe, I just decided that I was going to make it happen. I did, however, make sure I was referencing ice skates as they existed in that time period. I’m not a complete lunatic.

And of course, Lizzy having to teach Sybil how to skate means they’re going to be put in Physical Proximity mwahahaha. The image of Lizzy getting kissed on the cheek by a pretty girl and falling over was burned in my brain and refused to leave me alone until I wrote it. Their romantic relationship is a slower burn but it’s starting to burn brighter from here on out.

I’ll leave the commentary sparse for the last couple of scenes- I don’t want to accidentally give anything away by talking too much about the crime scene or the coalition meeting. Have you figured out who the victim is?? Do you think you might know who’s leading the coalition cult since Sir Arthur kicked it four years ago? Much to think about… until next week xoxo gossip girl

lord_is_it_mine

[thatsnotmygunflash]

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow? 17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) 40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? 44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you? (asked with love, friend!) 😊 54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? 56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

13. What's a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Short sentences are more powerful than long sentences, as are shorter paragraphs. I have a hard time reading huge chunks of information being dumped in the middle of a conversation and then having to go back up and re-read the last part of the conversation because I got so wrapped up in their thoughts. I play things out like I’m watching tv and when I watch tv I’m very guilty of listening more than watching. Words have always been an assault for me, I hear too much in people’s voices and see too much in their eyes, so it’s best to pick one or the other. My writing has unintentionally been affected by that mentality.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

When I have inspiration (and the right playlist) I never let it go to waste, I’m in deep for hours at a time. When I get to the point where I’ve changed a sentence more than three times, I can usually tell I need a break. I like to walk away or work on something else for a bit and come back with fresh eyes. If that doesn't work and I’m still just staring at the screen I'll go watch TV, play video games, or read something that is similar to what I'm working on. If I’m still not feeling it I’ll take a break for a week or so and come back refreshed.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I was just thinking about this! I have ideas for Citizen Cold’s new gear and I'm dying for someone who can actually draw to help me bring it to life! I'd also go insane for a drawing of Barry from their first video chat with the 'Team Cold' shirt and the sun bathing him in light. The polaroids as well of course! Oh, it'd be so amazing to see! But wait, look at me, not even thinking about Len at his desk twirling the phone cord! There’s so many good snapshots I can think of in my head, you don’t know how desperate I am to see them in real life.

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you? (asked with love, friend!) 😊

Oh God, okay first I want you to know I’m so so so so sorry. It took a lot of courage on my part to even contact you because I know. I know. I’m a mess. You know first hand I need a refresher course in punctuation. I don't know what's wrong with me, the rules just never seem to stick in my head. Every time I think I’ve got it right I’m proven wrong. It’s like high school math all over again. On an average day (not writing) I usually read anywhere from 6 to 10 hours. I should understand better how to properly place a comma or a period. I don’t want to talk about my spelling or vocabulary, so you’re just gonna get another apology. I’m really sorry.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Getting to share my work with others. 😊 It’s always in the back of my head to find a different hobby besides writing, something more fulfilling, but I think it’s really just the lack of interaction and feedback that fuels those thoughts. I’ve always loved writing. It always makes me happy to see people have commented or just read my work. I’ve posted in other fandoms and have a few fics that have done fairly well, but none of them are very active fandoms nowadays. It’s really nice to know that I’m not the only one who loves writing and reading either. I can connect to people here who share an interest I’m eager to talk about since I don’t really tell anyone about my writing in my personal life.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I like to think I'm pretty good at constructing new worlds and creating something you can really get lost in, but I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to writing. I’ll create whole new worlds with timelines that span hundreds of years and complex characters that you’d just fall in love with then when it’s time to write the story I’ll just…lose interest suddenly and start something else. Posting IWEBTFATFY was a goal I had set for myself in hopes of breaking that recent streak. I’m very happy to have written 78,000 words and not been too scared to post it in fear it wasn’t going to be good enough. I’ve become very invested in this universe and have a lot of hopes for it. With the right motivation and determination I think I could create something incredible.

[evwuniverse]

The Enchanted Library

For those who know me I'm the most significant book worm and my love for poetry keeps me looking for more regarding the written word. As an English major who graduated with an English Language and Literature Bachelors in 2019, this is right up my alley and makes a lot of sense. Today, I finally had a moment to sit down and take some time for myself and do a little exploring. It's important to note I was on vacation for the week which really didn't feel like a vacation so having this small moment meant a lot to me.

Along my exploration inside of Second Life this afternoon I stumbled upon a new art installation called "The Enchanted Library" Again this can be found inside second life by clicking here. This took my love for reading and books to a whole new level. Also for those who don't know me, exploring art installations is my all-time favorite thing to do in world.

To explore more on "The Enchanted Library" please continue reading below.

This sim was built with the poet and reader in mind and it all starts with falling down an "Alice in Wonderland's" rabbit hole into a whole other world. You are welcomed with a notecard that explains more about the sim, the individual (Kaneha Atheria) who has created it, and its significance. I truly recommend reading up on this before entering, it just connects more of the wonder!

Once you fall down this rabbit hole you enter a beautiful forest, books everywhere! There are so many places to sit and cuddle it's insane, there's even a place to take that special someone dancing. I'm going to be the first one to say that I'd even recommend taking someone here on a virtual date. It's a smaller place but it speaks volumes, there are different areas with different writings you can read by picking up the notecards. I spent 2 hours reading almost every piece of writing. Again if you're a poet (who didn't know it) this is someplace you can get lost in for a while. Just like the sims' title, it's a library with poetry, romance, and a great place if you're into whimsical photography. A lot of the themed forest is based on "Alice in Wonderland" which I'm okay with but it adds some vintage flair to the mix.

Are you ready for a scavenger hunt? I wasn't but at the same time, I'm glad I pushed myself to be ready!

Many of the book installations are interactive all you need to do is sit on them! The creator (Kaneha Atheria) has hidden 16 well-known book titles in many parts of the forest's landscaping. Some of them are actual books you can read, while others are objects from stories and there are even some scenes.

Some of these include the following;

A Christmas Carol

Alice in Wonderland

Baba Yaga

Cinderella

Dracula

Frankenstein

Game of Thrones

Harry Potter

Peanuts (Charlie Brown)

Peter Pan

Phantom of the Opera

Rumpelstiltskin

Snow White

The Frog Prince

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

The Man With The Golden

One area I loved here was there was a meditation section near where one of the clickable books was to read some of the poetry. Just watching my avatar in pure bliss made me feel a similar way. It's amazing just how much a human on the other side of a computer screen can connect so closely with their avatars inside of a virtual world. It's truly an experience.

This is a more permanent area that she has created for meetings, events, and just a place to sit and enjoy! There is a group you can join if you wish, and you can share your photos with your amazing experience in this world on their Flickr.

Whether you enjoy reading, photography, exploring, dancing or just want a place to relax and take everything in by transporting yourself to a whole other world, this sim has a little bit of everything for everyone to enjoy. To be honest I may even host a hangout with a few friends here just to read some of the poems together.

[miraculousares]

Because I doubt the writers are going to feed us the interaction immediately after The Thing™, here I am. GANG OF SECRETS SPOILERS. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED S4 YET, DO NOT READ ON

Marinette clutched the sides of her head as if she might explode if she didn't hold everything together. "You're right, I have secrets and I lie all the time! I lie to my parents, to my friends. To everyone..." She felt her best friend sit beside her on the chair but she was so caught up in her feelings that she couldn't process it. "And the worst part about it is that I can't do anything about it!" She buried her face in her hands, fighting back another bought of sobs.

"We always have the choice, Marinette." Alya spoke softly and carefully putting her arms around the girl. In the back of her head, Marinette was sure that she could feel her shaking but at this point, she didn't care. She was overwhelmed. She was heartbroken. She was stressed. She was terrified.

"No." She looked up and met her friend's eyes and saw a look of sympathy. "At least not for me. I've got no other choice. It's all beyond us, Alya, and it's too heavy to carry." She wiped a tear from her face.

"If it's too heavy, then we'll be two to carry it," the girl whispered comfortingly. With this, Marinette let out a long breath. She knew what the right decision was to the discourse she'd been having in her own head all day. That didn't stop her fear from taking control, though.

"If I tell you, things between us will never be the same. It's going to destroy everything, change it all."

"Marinette, whatever you'll say, I'm your friend." Marinette could hear how desperately her friend wanted to know. But it wasn't out of curiosity or pushiness. It was to take the burden of her secret from her. To help her carry it.

"And me..." She searched her friend's eyes, gaining the confidence and reassurance she needed from the loving stare of her best friend. "I'm Ladybug." Time seemed to move in slow motion. For a moment, she wondered if Bunnix had done it, showing up to keep her from telling Alya. But instead, time resumed as the redhead's expression quickly changed from shock and confusion to one of understanding before pulling her into a tight hug. She paused for a moment before wrapping her own arms around her friend and let herself sob silently into her shoulder.

If she was being honest, Marinette had thought of a thousand different scenarios as to how Alya might react. The majority of them were filled with neverending questions from the Ladybug-Superfan. A select few ended with Alya storming out and never speaking to her. One even included her selling her out to Shadowmoth, though she shut that one down quickly. However, she hadn't let herself imagine Alya comforting her immediately. Marinette was grateful to her friend for that. She didn't ask her to prove it, ask her a million questions, or even speak. She just hugged her because she trusted her. Alya had complete faith in her.

After a few minutes of letting out the weeks' worth of sorrow and pressure out into her friend's flannel-clad shoulder, she eventually pulled away and searched Alya's eyes. She seemed to be processing the information, but sympathy and understanding still took over her face. Seeing that expression, all worries and stress washed away in a wave of overwhelming relief. It felt amazing to have finally told someone and she knew she had made the right choice. She let out another breath and a smile forced itself onto her face. It felt foreign on her face now, rarely having worn one since becoming the gaurdian, but it felt at home. She wiped her cheeks and laughed. Nothing was amusing, she was just so happy that it escaped her lips automatically.

"Okay, I'm okay. You can react now," she announced. Though Alya was doing an amazing job at just being understanding, she could tell that her best friend was bursting with questions. Alya seemed to scan over her one last time to check for any remaining need of comfort before letting her face turn to an expression of shock.

She sat silent for a moment as if trying to organize her thoughts before breathing out, "You've beta-read so much of my LadyNoir fanfiction..." Marinette couldn't help the loud laugh. She clapped her hand over her mouth but Alya just joined in the laughter. They sat there letting out all of their relief and joy and connection through that shared laugh until their stomachs hurt. Eventually, they were able to get their breath back and Alya seemed to be more collected in her processing.

"Okay, actually though, that's insane. Ladybug has been my best friend this whole time and I had no clue. And all the pressure you've been under this whole time. I mean hell, Marinette! Paris' safety- No. The world's safety has been sitting on your and Chat Noir's shoulders for two years and you're only 16! I can't even imagine it! I mean, I guess I can to an extent because, ya know, Rena Rogue. But that's more of a part-time gig and it's not like everyone's relying super heavily on me. And now I'm rambling. What I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you trusted me with this and I'm so sorry I haven't been able to support you the way you've been needing. But I'm here now." She inhaled, clearly having forgotten to breathe during her ramble, and pulled Marinette into one more hug. "Can I ask questions?" She asked after they pulled apart again.

Marinette smiled. "Of course, Als."

"Okay. God, where do I even start? Do you know who Chat Noir is?"

"No. It's too dangerous for us to know each other's identities. Shadowmoth needs both of our miraculous and if we knew each other's identities, that would make it that much easier for him to get them," Marinette explained. It felt amazing to finally be talking about this with someone. Of course, she always had Tikki and now the other kwamis, but she needed the support of another person. She needed the support of her best friend.

"So he doesn't know who you are either?" Marinette shook her head and Alya nodded. "How did you even get your miraculous? I mean it's not like there was a Ladybug to hand it to you like I got mine."

"The last guardian, Master Fu, gave them to us. I don't know what happened with Chat Noir but I imagine that it was similar to why he gave me mine. I saved him from getting hit by a car in a crosswalk and showed him kindness. He told me later that he could see the 'heroic qualities' in me." She used her fingers to make air quotes around the words.

"That's incredible!" She paused for a moment, eyebrows raised in thought. "Oh my god, so many things make so much sense now."

"RIGHT?!" Marinette exclaimed.

"That's why you're always late! And why you're always so tired! And why you just dash out of class in the middle of the day!"

"EXACTLY!" Marinette practically shouted, relieved to finally be understood.

"Oh,

man... Everything's clicking in place, wow." Marinette could almost see the equations floating in front of Alya's face.

"Wait, sorry if this is out of line but... Is LadyNoir canon?"

"WHAT! No! Not in a million years!"

"Then what is this?" Alya whipped out her phone and showed Marinette her home screen. It was the picture that had been haunting the girl since it was taken. She wished it would disappear but it was constantly resurfacing on the internet and on tabloid covers. The photo of her and Chat Noir kissing on the rooftop after battling Oblivio.

"I have no idea what that was," she admitted. "I have no memory of even defeating Oblivio, let alone kissing that mangy cat."

"I mean, I know you're going through a lot right now and have sworn off romance for the time being but... Could it ever happen?"

Marinette opened her mouth to respond but all that came out was a sigh. "No," was all she said.

"Why not?"

"I..." Tears formed in her eyes and Alya immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Oh my god, Marinette. I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"No, no. I just... I haven't really let myself think about it since it happened. But, I guess I can finally talk about it, huh?"

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

And so, Marinette told Alya about what happened with Chat Blanc. She explained how their love destroyed the world. She explained how her own irresponsibility with her miraculous had destroyed the world. The whole event had honestly been very traumatic to Marinette and weighed heavily on her heart. Since that, she'd been even more closed off about her secret, especially to her partner. She hadn't let herself think about it if she could help it, but it still haunted her in her nightmares.

As she finished the story, Alya tightened her arms around her. "Marinette, I am so, so sorry that you had to go through that. You've been put through so much and you've been holding on to so much pressure and it's not fair. Mari, when I tell you this, I want you to believe me. You are the strongest person I know. You've gone through more than anyone should have to go through in a lifetime. Yet, you still manage to find a way to always be there for your friends and your family. You're out all night fighting for your life and for the world and then you come to school and you're there for everyone else. You are so, so strong. You're amazing and not just because you're Ladybug, but because you're Marinette."  Marinette couldn't hold back the tears that flowed down her cheeks as she hugged her best friend. Any regrets or doubts she worried she might have about telling Alya were gone. She knew she had made the right choice.

The girls spent the rest of the night talking about this, a mix of laughing and crying until they eventually fell asleep there on Marinette's couch, tired from the whirlwind of emotions. "Thank you, Alya, for being here for me," Marinette whispered as Alya's breathing steadied. Then, she closed her eyes and fell asleep herself. For the first time in weeks, her dreams were light and hopeful.

[viastro]

snow flower | hur hyunjun

ミ★ synopsis: in which hyunjun finds himself falling in love with you over a span of six months. [part of the 12 months i loved you collab]

ミ★ genre: strangers to lovers!au, fluff, humor, minor angst

ミ★ warnings: none !

ミ★ word count: 5,147

ミ★ parings: hyunjun x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys ! this is my first ever oneshot for the boyz i’m literally gonna go into cardiac arrest uh BAKGBSRH i finally decided to start writing for them, but it most likely won’t be as often as i post for seventeen. however, i will try my best ! i love the boyz so much, and i love hyunjun a lot. so make sure to check out the rest of the works that will appear for the 12 months i loved you collab that was created by @sunlightwoo​ !!

12 months i loved you masterlist 

It started out with the sparkle he saw when the two of you first locked eyes.

“You’re insane, Kevin.”

“Just a bit.” 

You tilt your head to the side in concern when your best friend sends a wink in your direction, before going back to attempting to slingshot a water balloon at his unsuspecting victim friend, Kim Sunwoo. Letting out a sigh, you glance back down at your phone, knowing that Kevin is literally going to get murdered when Sunwoo gets splashed.

“You want Formation to play when they bring your casket into the funeral home?” You ask Kevin, and he nods his head quietly. You look up to find Sunwoo still talking animatedly to a guy you haven’t seen before, but then again, you can only see the back of his head.

“Kevin, what if you accidentally hit the guy Sunwoo is talking to?” Kevin turns to you, and simply places a finger over his mouth as a means to tell you to be quiet. Your concerned expression turns into one of annoyance as you squint your eyes at him, and he gives you a grin. “I won’t hit Hyunjun, it’s fine.” 

“Hyunjun?” Kevin nods his head, turning back towards Sunwoo and preparing the slingshot once again. 

“Sunwoo introduced him and I on our first day at uni because he thought we looked really similar.” You purse your lips, leaning over slightly on the bench to try and get a better look at the man. Now curious of what this Hyunjun may look like, you open your mouth to ask Kevin if the man has an Instagram, only for your eyes to widen when you watch the water balloon fly in the air. 

“Oh Neptune.” 

Kevin lets out a cheer when the water balloon lands right smack on the top of Sunwoo’s head, now drenching the man in water. You watch as your friend looks around angrily, only to stop when his eyes land on you and Kevin. 

“KEVIN MOON!” 

You let out a loud laugh, covering your mouth as you watch Kevin begin sprinting away from Sunwoo. Your eyes land on the man Sunwoo was speaking to, and you feel your laughter slowly die down when you find him staring directly at you as well. 

His black hair is in soft waves over his forehead, catlike eyes staring at you in interest as he nonchalantly wipes away some of the remnants of water from his fancy clothes.

Damn you Kevin…

You raise your hand up to wave at the pretty boy, only to stop when Kevin and Sunwoo run past you, with Kevin screaming bloody murder and there being nothing but murderous intent behind Sunwoo’s gaze as he tries to capture the man. 

You let out a bright smile, turning back to find Hyunjun’s features slowly lifting up into a beautiful smile as well. He raises his hand up and waves at you, and you wave back, warmth flooding your face from the simple interaction.

Hyunjun always thought it was bullshit when people said that they can see sparkles in someone’s eyes, thinking that it just depended on what type of lighting they were in. However, as the warm summer sun rests over you, he knows that it’s just you. 

The sparkle in your eyes is from you, nothing else. 

Then he noticed the strange feeling he’d get when he’d hear your laughter.

You and Hyunjun watch with amused smiles on your faces as Juyeon, Kevin, and Changmin attempt to play Just Dance in your small dorm room. 

“Ow! Changmin, your elbows are sharp.” Kevin whines when he accidentally gets elbowed in the side from Changmin’s aggressive dancing. The blonde ignores the black haired beauty, continuing to focus on winning the game.

“Juyeon is taking this very seriously.” You mutter, having noticed the red head’s silence as he sharply hits the dance moves displayed on your tiny TV. Hyunjun nods his head, letting out a small chuckle at the furrow to Juyeon’s brows. He nudges you with his shoulder, causing you to turn to glance at him. “Imagine if Sunwoo and Eric were playing too.” 

You let out a smile at the thought of it, making Hyunjun’s heart flip tenfold within his chest. You shake your head, imagining the absolute chaos it would be if Sunwoo and Eric were also in your dorm, knowing their insanely competitive nature. However, Sunwoo has a lab today and Eric has a math lecture, so they were unable to join in on the besties activities. 

It’s been a couple months since you and Hyunjun met, having gotten close rather quickly. You later met Juyeon, Changmin, and Eric as summer was coming to an end. Now the six of you hangout more often than not even though Autumn quarter has begun, and your dorm room became the unofficial official meeting spot even though the other five have much larger dorms/apartments. 

“I WON!” Kevin shouts, regaining you and Hyunjun’s attention as he jumps up and down in excitement. Hyunjun bites back a laugh at the shock on Juyeon and Changmin’s faces, as Kevin was simply just moving the switch controller whenever it was required, and the two dancers were actually busting their ass off.

“I feel like I just got swindled.” Changmin breathes out, wiping away the accumulated sweat that formed on his forehead. Juyeon runs a hand through his hair, before squinting at the celebrating Kevin. 

“Do we murder him?” Kevin turns towards them with wide eyes after hearing the absurd question. 

“Heh?”

Changmin and Juyeon exchange a glance in silence, before turning back towards Kevin, who is now staring at the two in fear. 

“Yeah.”

“WHAT!” 

You let out a burst of laughter as the three begin to chase each other around your dorm. Hyunjun turns to look at you with a smile on his face, the screaming of his friends slowly becoming background noise when the sound of your laughter is all he can hear. 

Hyunjun gulps when he feels his heart thump against his chest, noticing how pretty you look when you’re happy. He bites the inside of his cheek, a thought coming to his mind that makes him turn away to try and focus on his three friends fighting each other, promptly ignoring the overwhelming feeling in his chest.

And then you experienced heartbreak.

Hyunjun lets out a groan when his phone rings beside him, glancing at the time to see that it’s 2 in the morning. He rolls over and picks up the cool metal, squinting at the screen when he sees your name shining brightly back at him. Immediately he answers the call and places the phone next to his ear, 

“Yn?”

“H-Hyunjun..” 

The black haired beauty sits up at the sound of your sniffles, eyes wide open in concern. He climbs out of bed, already walking towards his closet to put on a sweatshirt. “What’s wrong? Where are you?” 

“Can you come get me, please? I’m outside of Donghyun’s building.” You mutter quietly, watching your breath crystalize in the cold November air. Hyunjun bites the inside of his cheek at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, already having an idea of what may have occurred. 

It’s happened quite a few times with the different guys you’ve dated over the last few months.

“I’ll be there in five minutes, don’t hang up the phone, mm?” Hyunjun says, and you nod your head quietly in response, “Okay.” 

Within 5 minutes you notice Hyunjun’s tall figure walking towards you, and his heart breaks when he sees the tears immediately fall from your eyes. You quickly walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his middle and hiding your face in the crook of his neck. 

Hyunjun freezes at the contact, cursing to himself at the way his heart practically palpitates in his chest from the warmth you bring him. His arms slowly wrap around you, hand cradling your head as you cry quietly, no words needing to be exchanged for him to know that you and Donghyun didn’t work out. 

“Do you want me to beat his ass?” Hyunjun asks quietly, and you let out a wet laugh, shaking your head and holding your best friend tighter. “No, we were only together for a month anyways. Can we just go to your apartment?” 

Hyunjun nods his head, and you pull away from his embrace. His heart falls at the sight of your swollen eyes, and he instinctively reaches out and cups your face with his warm hands. You look up at him with watery eyes, and Hyunjun wonders how you’re still the most ethereal being he’s ever seen. 

“When will you realize that you deserve so much more than gross Tinder men?” Hyunjun asks you with a teasing smile on his face, completely ignoring the way his heart is beating crazily within his chest at the close contact between you two. You pout up at him, punching Hyunjun’s shoulder lightly even though you know he’s right. Softly, you mutter, “I just want to find someone who loves me.” 

Hyunjun bites the inside of his cheek at your confession, before wiping away the leftover tears on your cheeks and letting his hands fall to his sides. He quickly wraps an arm around your shoulders and steers you in the direction towards his building. 

“You’ll find someone, yn.” He mutters quietly, and you let out a breath, before leaning your head onto the black haired beauty as the two of you walk in silence.

Hyunjun glances up at the stars in the sky, feeling his own heart break within his chest. He bites back a sad laugh, now understanding what it is he’s been feeling over the last few months of knowing you. 

Love. It was love.

And here we are now, the 31st of December. With Hyunjun laying on Kevin’s floor, screaming and punching the air.

“Hyunjun, please. My neighbors actually like me, you screaming is gonna ruin their view of me.” Kevin tells Hyunjun from his desk, not sparing him a glance as he just hears the sounds of his existential crisis going on behind him.

Hyunjun lets out another garbled scream, and Kevin lets out a tired sigh in return. He finally turns around in his seat to see his friend staring at his white ceiling with a blank expression on his face. Raising an eyebrow in concern, but also in fear for his life, he simply grabs a pencil, and reaches out and pokes Hyunjun’s foot. 

“Bestie… you good?” 

Hyunjun punches the air as his response, and Kevin furrows his brows. He climbs off his chair and walks over to where Hyunjun lays, moving and sitting down beside him. Kevin watches as Hyunjun just stares at the ceiling in silence once again, and he rubs the back of his neck. “I need words, Hyunjun.”

The black haired beauty lets out a breath, before closing his eyes in frustration. Resting his hands over his face he mutters, 

“I wanna kiss yn when the clock hits midnight.” 

Kevin nods his head, turning away and looking back towards his laptop. Only to pause when the words register in his mind, and he immediately turns back towards Hyunjun in complete shock at what he just uttered.

“You wanna WHAT?!” 

Hyunjun groans, sitting up from the floor and glancing at Kevin with a frustrated expression on his face. He runs a hand through his hair, feeling his heartbeat wildly within his chest at the fact that he finally confessed his feelings for you out loud. 

“I want to kiss them.” Hyunjun repeats, and Kevin continues to stare at him in shock.

“Like, their forehead?” 

“No.”

“Their hand?”

“No..”

“Their booboo?”

“I wanna kiss them on the lips, Kevin.” Hyunjun deadpans, causing the latter to slowly close his mouth and nod his head, turning back to look down at the floor. After a moment of silence passes between them, Kevin glances back at Hyunjun.

“Like, platonically?” 

Hyunjun stares at Kevin, before resting his head onto his knees in absolute disappointment and embarrassment. Kevin runs a hand through his hair, quietly asking the universe how he managed to be such a good friend that he’s now stuck in the middle of a situation that he did not ask to be in whatsoever. 

“How long have you felt this way about yn?” Kevin asks, and Hyunjun purses his lips when the memory of the first time he saw the way your eyes sparkled comes to mind. He lets out a sigh, letting his head fall back as he says, “Since June.”

Kevin’s eyes visibly widen once again as he raises his hands up towards his face to count how many months it’s been on his fingers. His mouth drops when he counts six months on his hands, and he looks back towards Hyunjun. 

“Six months?!” 

“Is it really that shocking that I have feelings for yn?” Hyunjun asks, and Kevin shakes his head, shutting his mouth to stop himself from mentioning a piece of information that could possibly make Hyunjun shit himself.

He’s sitting on a bad boy piece of information right now.

“So, do you have a plan on how you’re gonna kiss them tonight?” Hyunjun looks up towards the ceiling and shrugs his shoulders. He turns towards his friend, giving him a small smile.

“We’ll see how I feel tonight.”

Hyunjun is fucking wasted. 

If it makes anything better, Sunwoo, Eric, and Changmin aren’t doing very well either. As the three are currently in a drunken argument over who gets to have the last cookie before the clock strikes midnight. They’re incredibly loud, making it a bit hard to listen to the New Year’s Eve special on the TV.

“I get to have the cookie because I’m the oldest out of the three of us!” Changmin declares, wobbling slightly as he points a finger towards the younger two. Eric rolls his eyes, reaching out to grab the cookie again, only for Sunwoo to shove him to the floor. 

“Age doesn’t mean shit.”

“You’re a fuckin whorebag, Sunwoo.”

However, amidst all the chaos in the middle of his apartment, his eyes remain on you from across the room. You’re playing a game of UNO with Kevin and Juyeon on the floor, watching as you let out a gorgeous laugh when the two scream at your +4 card. 

Sensing a pair of eyes on you, you turn your head to find Hyunjun staring at you with those sharp, catlike eyes of his. Biting back a smile, you place your last card down on the table, shooting finger guns at the boys after winning for the third time in a row, and walk over to where Hyunjun is sitting.

Oh God, Hyunjun thinks to himself as you get closer. The purple LED lights on his ceiling cast an iridescent glow over your features, making him drunkenly wonder how you could manage to get more ethereal as the days go by. 

“Hey, stooges! There’s more cookies in the kitchen, so stop arguing.” You shout out towards your three drunk friends, and they all turn towards you with shocked expressions on their faces. They quickly scramble over into the kitchen, slipping and falling a few times as their coordination is no longer intact. 

Noticing that they left the single cookie on the coffee table, you let out a giggle, picking it up and turning back towards Hyunjun. You tilt your head to the side at his serious expression on his face, holding out the chocolate chip cookie in his direction. 

“Want it?” You ask with a grin, and Hyunjun feels his legs turn to mush. 

How am I supposed to kiss them? He wonders, watching silently as you move closer so that your faces are a few inches apart. Without another word, you place the cookie in his mouth, before plopping down on the couch beside him. 

Hyunjun quietly chews the cookie, distracted for a moment over how delicious it is, before turning back to look at you. Only to freeze when he finds that your eyes are already on him, tilting your head to the side as he catches your gaze.

“My Hyunjun is such a quiet drunk~” You mutter softly, but Hyunjun feels his heart flip within his chest at the possessiveness of your statement. You reach out and pat down a few flyaways of his black hair, and he wonders if you feel as nervous as he does when the two of you are this close to each other. 

“Oh shit! 30 seconds until midnight!” Kevin announces, making the two of you turn back to the TV. Hyunjun watches as you scramble to grab the noise makers (not Sunwoo, Eric, and Changmin, but a close second). 

“HAHAHAH! Eric passed out on the floor!” Hyunjun hears Juyeon laugh from the kitchen, watching with blurry vision as Sunwoo and Changmin giggle at the sight of Juyeon carrying out a very drunk Eric into the living room. 

“Hyunjun, stand up!” You say happily, and his eyes slowly fall on you, letting you pull him up without a second thought. 

“10!” Kevin begins the countdown. Hyunjun stares at you as you squeal excitedly with Kevin, obviously elated to start the new year with your best friends. 

“9!”

“8!” Changmin and Sunwoo shout out belatedly, drunkenly eating the cookies as they count down along with the rest of you guys. 

“7!”

“6!” You turn your head when the feeling of someone burning holes into your cheek becomes more apparent. You find Hyunjun just staring at you with a dazed expression on his face, and you raise an eyebrow in amusement over how drunk he is. 

“5!” 

“4!” Hyunjun bites the inside of his cheek once his peripheral vision turns blurry as his focus on you heightens. He slowly leans forward so that your faces are close to one another, and you hear your heartbeat crazily against your chest even with all the ruckus going on around you.

“3!”

“Hyunjun? Are you okay?” You ask, but your voice is barely above a whisper as you somehow lost all control over your vocal chords. He stays quiet, as he continues to stare into your bright eyes as if they hold all the stars in the sky. To him, they do.

“2!” 

“Hyunjunie?”

“1!” 

“Can I kiss you, yn?” Hyunjun asks in a soft voice, and your eyes widen at the question. 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Kevin, Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo cheer as they start blowing into the noise makers. You and Hyunjun continue to stare into each other's eyes in silence, with you gauging the question he just asked, and Hyunjun wondering why his vision is beginning to spin. 

“What did you say-” You’re cut off when Hyunjun collapses onto you, making you topple backwards onto the floor. Kevin’s eyes widen at the sight of a passed out Hyunjun laying on top of you, knowing that the latter is going to eat his own ass when the memory comes back in the morning. 

While you, you’re left with a warm face and hundreds of questions swarming around your brain as to whether or not you heard him correctly. 

“Ugh.” Hyunjun mutters, raising his hands up to his face once the raging migraine hits him. He rolls over in the bed, tightly squeezing his eyes shut as if it’ll make the pain stop. “Why’d I drink so much?” 

“Cause you’re stupid.” He groans at the sound of Kevin’s voice, choosing to not snap back as he just doesn’t have the energy at the moment. He listens to Kevin’s footsteps shuffle along his floor, before hearing the sound of plastic rest on his bedside table. 

“That’s acetaminophen and water. There’s also a piece of toast for you to eat as you shouldn’t take medicine on an empty stomach.” Hyunjun peeks through his hands to see Kevin standing beside him, and he raises an eyebrow at the man. “You know I don’t care about that.” 

Kevin nods his head, running a hand through his hair as he gives Hyunjun a small grin. “Yeah, but yn’s orders.” 

Hyunjun squints at his friend, before his eyes widen once he remembers his original plan from the night before. He immediately sits up in bed, only to regret it when the pounding in his head becomes a lot stronger. Kevin hands Hyunjun the toast, and the hungover man quietly chews on it with his eyes closed as he tries to remember what happened the night before. 

“Did I kiss yn?” Hyunjun asks Kevin after he finishes the toast, reaching over to take the pills and water. Kevin purses his lips, before shaking his head ‘no’. Hyunjun bites the inside of his cheek, wondering what he could’ve done as he throws back the pills and swallows it down with a large gulp of water. 

“Are they still here?” Hyunjun asks, running a hand through his black hair as he takes a glance towards his bedroom door. He only hears the sounds of Sunwoo and Changmin playing games in his living room, but nothing from you. “Nah, they left after preparing breakfast for us.” 

“Did I… try to kiss yn?” Kevin only stares at Hyunjun, before shrugging his shoulders and turning to walk out of the bedroom. Hyunjun frowns at his friend, “Kevin!” 

“Why don’t you ask them yourself?” Kevin suggests with a wink, before stepping out of Hyunjun’s room, closing the door behind him. Leaving the black haired beauty sitting there, alone with his thoughts. 

“Nah, I wouldn’t have kissed yn. I care too much about our friendship, that’s why I decided not to go through with the plan after we ate dinner.” Hyunjun mutters, tilting his head as he still tries to remember what happened the night before. He reaches over and grabs his phone, only to immediately hiss at how bright his screen is. “Why did I think it was a good idea to have my lockscreen be so bright?”

hyunjunie: where are you?

you: i wanted to go to the seoul christmas festival >:D

hyunjunie: it’s not dark enough for you to see the lights yet 

you: bleh bleh, it’s the last day

hyunjunie: wait until 6, i’ll come take you

you: mmm, okay

are you sure you’re not too hungover for that?

hyunjunie: nah, i had toast before my medicine today. 

i’m 100% cured

you: okay king

hyunjunie: i’ll see you later yn

you: mmhmm

Hyunjun let’s out a smile after your guys exchange, placing his phone beside him as he lays back down, staring up at the ceiling. He sighs, the thought of what he could’ve done the night before still lingering in his head. 

“Why did you wait until January 1st to go to this event?” Hyunjun asks as the two of you walk around, just to watch you excitedly walk up to the bright lights without a response. He tilts his head in amusement, only for his heart to go crazy within his chest when you turn around to look at him with a big smile on your face. 

“Come here! Let’s take a photo!” You say happily, eyes sparkling underneath the beautiful Christmas lights. Biting the inside of his cheek, he walks up to you and stands close beside you as you take numerous selfies of you both. 

“Do you guys want me to take a photo for you?” You glance up at the voice, seeing a mom and her child smiling at the two of you. You look at Hyunjun to see his reaction, only to find him already nodding his head and handing her his phone. 

“Can I kiss you, yn?” You stare at him as the memory pops back into your mind, and he looks back down at you.

“You gonna smile at the camera or just oggle me?” Hyunjun teases, making you look away with a scoff. He giggles at your reaction, but it’s a sound of relief as he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take of your intense gaze. 

“I’ll take a lot of photos!” She tells the two of you, and you give her a thumbs up. You tentatively wrap your arms around Hyunjun’s arm, before smiling brightly at the camera. He stiffens slightly in your hold, but tries not to let it show as he rests his head over your own, smiling into the camera as well. 

“What other pose should we do?” You ask Hyunjun as the two of you pull away, and he glances down at you, shrugging his shoulders. “Anything you want.” 

Pursing your lips, you think to yourself for a moment. An image pops up into your mind, causing you to grin evilly as you suggest, “What about one where you’re bowing down to me?” 

“Are you crazy?” 

You let out a bright laugh at Hyunjun’s immediate answer, and he finds himself automatically smiling back down at you just from the sight itself. He reaches out and fondly pats your head without a second thought, making warmth rush up to your face at the touch. 

It’s something Hyunjun’s always done, but the memory of last night is still fresh in your mind. Making you wonder whether all these things he’s done for you have been platonic, or romantic. 

His eyes search yours as your laughter dies down, finding you to be deep in thought as the two of you stare at each other. His hand rests on your shoulder, and he doesn’t feel the urge to pull away. 

What have I done in my past life to deserve such a beautiful sight like this? Hyunjun thinks to himself as he looks into your sparkling eyes, feeling nothing but warmth as he does so.

“I think the photos are cute! I hope you guys like them.” The mom says, causing the two of you to break out of your trance. She gives the both of you a grin, “I think you guys are a cute couple.” 

You immediately sputter, about to deny it in fear of making Hyunjun uncomfortable, only to freeze when you hear him say, 

“Thank you.” 

You turn your head to glance at him as he waves bye to the mom and her child, before he opens up his phone and scrolls through the numerous photos she took of you and him. He giggles at a few photos, a soft smile on his face as he does so. 

“They turned out cute, I’ll make sure to airdrop them to you later.” Hyunjun tells you, and you nod your head without another thought. He gives you a close lipped smile, before gesturing over towards the other christmas lights. 

“Let’s keep going so that we can get food, it’s cold.” He begins to walk forward, only to pause when he realizes you’re not beside him. Hyunjun turns back to glance at you, finding you still standing in the same spot. He tilts his head to the side, “Are you coming-”

“Did you really mean it when you asked if you could kiss me last night, Hyunjun?” You ask, and Hyunjun feels his blood run cold at the question. The memory of last night that he couldn’t remember suddenly floods into his brain all at once, and he internally panics at the fact that he actually tried to make a move. 

“Did you?” You ask again, tightly squeezing your fist at your side as you await his answer. Hyunjun bites the inside of his cheek, realizing that it’s all or nothing as he answers, 

“And what if I did?” 

The two of you stare at each other in silence for a moment, the bright christmas lights hanging around you both. His eyes search your face, still finding you to be the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Ever since that warm summer day, it’s always been you. 

You take note of Hyunjun’s gorgeous features, having always known how attractive he was from the moment the two of you met. However, as you both grew closer as friends, as well as your feelings, you knew you had to push it down. Kevin’s the only one who knew of your feelings after a drunken occurrence where you cried on his lap, but the next day you told your best friend to ignore everything you said the night before. You didn’t want any false hope, as there’s always only two possibilities of catching feelings for your best friend. 

Friendship ends as the other doesn’t feel the same.

Friendship turns into relationship but this only happens in fanfiction.

You didn’t stand a chance for Hyunjun, but as you stare into his eyes right now on this cold, winter night, you realize you were wrong. The warmth to his gaze has always only been for you, and you were the biggest chance Hyunjun’s ever wanted to take. And so, you finally say, 

“I wouldn’t mind.” 

Hyunjun stares at you, and you gauge his reaction to your answer. He takes a few steps forward until there’s only a few inches left between your faces. “Please tell me you’re not kidding, yn.” 

You let out a soft smile, the sound of your heartbeat in your ears as you stare up at your best friend’s face. “Why would I joke about this?” 

Hyunjun’s hands slowly trail up until they’re cupping your face. His thumb draws circles on your cheek, and he breathes out nervously, glancing back up into your eyes to double check. You nod your head, and Hyunjun bites the inside of his cheek, before finally leaning in and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. 

Heat floods your features as your hands reach up and grip at his shirt, the brisk night air being a stark contrast to the love and warmth you feel from Hyunjun alone. 

Hyunjun feels dizzy, his heart bursting within his chest after the moment he’s only dreamed of for the last six months is now happening right at this moment. Your lips taste sweet, similar to that of strawberries, and he decides that your strawberry flavored chapstick is truly godsend. He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours after a moment, warmth flooding his features as he stares into your eyes.

“I love you.” Hyunjun confesses, and he watches as the brightest smile he’s ever seen forms on your face. You reach up and cup his face with your own hands as well, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, before pulling away to say,

“I love you too, Hyunjun.” 

The two of you let out giggles after a moment, before Hyunjun pulls you into his chest, holding you tightly as he realizes that you’re finally his. He closes his eyes, smiling to himself at the overwhelming feeling of love flooding his chest. 

To Hyunjun, love was warm. They had sparkles in their eyes, and had the brightest smile he’s ever seen. 

To Hyunjun, love was you.

Love was you.

[nightswithkookmin]

You need to back up your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague statements about 'claiming behavior'.

During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled Jungkook in a hug on run behind, Jungkook called Jimin sexy at a press conference, Jimin and jungkook did that whole 'how does it feel to be in the same unit'/'time to change' flirty thing, Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the lapels... and more. Begging pardon but if they were grieving the loss of their romantic relationship while trying to be professional colleagues and pals.... isnt that sort of insensitive? Like I know you admitting you might have read it wrong and have changed your view in light of new footage might be a blow to your ego, but I don't think you are thinking rationally when you insist on this break up theory. It's sad because I found so much meaning and connection in some of the stuff you have written, particularly pertaining to internalized homophobia, racism, mysogynoir and bts changing over time to become more enlightened, but your devotion to this ONE theory, and defensiveness whenever it is (rightly imo) challenged makes me wary of your theories in general, which might be extremely unfair to you, as a thinker. Your log is really funny and great in a lot of ways so i cant really quit you.

Ahhhh it's been a while I got one of these...

Hello, how you doing! Lol. Silver is that you?

Chilee, it's the name calling for me.

Ego, irrational, charlatan, Tuktukker- I'm desensitized to such ad hominems at this point. You don't throw words like these around and expect me to sit at the table and talk. Imma yeet myself out real fast. Lol.

There's just something different, wholesome almost, about this post though. Sounds constructive I think. Or maybe it's because I just woke. Chilee. Lol.

It doesn't feel at all like you are attacking me. It's strange...

You're gaslighting though but it's fine. I've built a resistance to that from years and years of dealing with my abductors or family. Potato potahto.

I often put my sanity before other's insanity which is why I don't indulge posts such as these and I'm not sorry about that. I mean is this an Ask or Submission? I don't- what am I supposed to say? What is the call to action?

Sigh.

If I come across as defensive sometimes, 10 out of 10, it's probably because the person on the other end is being offensive. Straight up. Cause and effect, the science don't lie.

You don't expect me to not defend when I'm being attacked. That's just tacky.

I don't think there's anything wrong with challenging views and notions because at the very least, that's about the exchange of ideas and I welcome it.

I set the limits at the racial slurs, the mocking tones, the emotionally charged rants meant to disparage me and my entire ancestry rather than argue a point, the interference with my personal life and business all because I hold a different view on a topic, the doxing, gaslighting, the bad mouthing, spreading lies about me, turning my friends against me, stripping away my rights and copyrights, harassing people who enjoy my work among- other things.

I usually exercise my right to self preservation in these instances- imma block, delete, ignore, forward or clap back. Word. Lol.

I'm sorry, but if you have to attack the individuality of a person to argue your point, you've lost the argument and you never had one to begin with.

Take for instance, the bit you wrote about me taking a blow to 'my ego' - do you see the problem with that?

What has holding a view different from yours on a particular subject got to do with the ego?

Do you mean to say the only way I can hold an opinion different from yours on a matter is if I were hubristic?

Are you projecting? What's happening? Lol

And if I call you out for this, I'm defensive? Way to add gaslighting to your bigotry and intolerance of opinions that don't align with yours. No offense.

I give myself permission to hold unpopular views. I give myself permission to think differently from others. I give myself permission to see what I see and believe what I believe and form an opinion on what I see and believe divorced from others' views and based on my own understanding of the workings of this world or in this case Jikook.

No amount of name calling will change this fact. We see things from different perspectives after all.

You need to back your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague claims about claiming behavior.

Lol. Fake subs? You mean the Hajima bit from the On comeback special I put in my video? Interesting.

I think I see what you mean about my break up theory and I agree to some extent. Like, come up here with charts and paragraphs and excel spreadsheets on why I think Jikook were broken up?

I would be happy to do that kind of analysis.

I think the problem for me here is, I feel tasked to convince rather than to share my opinion on the matter or even expand on my theories for discourse sakes and that makes me really uncomfortable.

Not to psychoanalyze you, but I feel when you ask this of me you are not just asking me to divulge my thoughts on a topic but to disabuse you of your own biases surrounding the topic.

I don't think this is about my opinion at all. I think it's about your own beliefs about Jikook. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you believe in something you need to stand for it. Just don't mind if others do same and don't call them names for doing so. Because if you do mind, then that's bigotry.

The fact is my opinion contradicts your beliefs about Jikook and you either want to punish me for it hence the slurs, are in denial, or you want to believe my point of view- can't really tell.

I think there is a limit in general to how far I can prove Jikook in anyway and that has nothing to do with lack of evidence, my ego or my rationality. And yes, I often shroud my beliefs in vague expressions because I don't want to set myself up or open myself up to legal suits. I can only prove Jikook to a point and nothing beyond my belief. Beyond that, I would be skating on thin ice and making bighit a tad richer.

During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled JK in a hug, grabbed Jungkook by his lapel, JK called Jimin sexy, they did the flirty challenge...

So if I understand you correctly, all these is what makes Jikook a couple to you and indicate they are dating?

Alright then.

Hobi calls Jimin sexy all the time. BTS calls eachother sexy all the time. I don't think that's a sign they are in a polyamory.

Jungkook plays with his hyungs' dick and ass and talks about falling for them most times. I don't think that makes him gay or in a relationship with any of them.

Lemme just cut to the chase. I've reached my photo limits. I have said a countless times now, that I don't view skinship and all these interactions you've pointed out as indication two people are dating- especially not two Koreans working within the homoerotically charged space of Kpop.

And I have given out a few of the metrics I use in considering whether any ship in BTS is real over the course of my blogs- intimacy, exclusive behaviors such as and not limited to claiming eachother and exercising certain rights and authorities over eachother and against the group, stress trails as a result of keeping their relationship a secret, the microaggressions, breaching the fourth wall and others.

I think what this comes down to is differences in perspectives on a fundamental level. Not egos.

I don't see the things you see as the signs Jikook are real and dating, as signs Jikook are real and dating. If I did, I would be seeing every ship in BTS as real but I don't.

And you consider the metrics I use in ascertaining Jikook as vague something something. I think we are at an impasse.

But explain the bit about 'insensitive' to me please. I would love to engage in that discourse. Why would it be insensitive for two exes to act cordially with eachother within a workplace in the aftermath of a breakup?

Then the bit about grieving...

So grieving is one of your metrics for accessing whether or not two people are broken up?

That's interesting. I mean I don't disagree but I also don't think Jikook are gonna come to work with oversized pajamas, dark shades, boxes of tissues and a blanket slung over their shoulders because of a broken heart... it's 2020 not Manila. They've grown, are learning and getting better at dealing with their emotions on camera because, as Suga pointed out, they are aware the least bit of tension translates to the screens.

I mean Jimin said it himself in his 2020 interview, he's learned to react less intensely to certain things. And sometimes, he tries to downplay certain things. He tries to perform Jikook when Jikook are not in a great place. It's only in recent times, On era, where JK has opted out and not gone along with it.

I think he does that and uses their shared 'Jikook agenda' and performances of Jikook as a means to fix things or break the ice between them at least.

But clearly Jk wasn't having it that day as he kept putting up boundaries with Jimin throughout that Run episode- unless of course you are disputing this as well on the grounds Jimin dragged his ass into a hug. Chilee.

I think most people wouldn't have felt there was something off with Jikook in that On period at all had it not been for Run 116. It's similar to how, had it not been for Jimin's birthday saga, the Esquire shoot behind scenes and Grammy reaction video, no one would have felt there was something going on between Jikook in the October timeline.

I think we would have seen and felt the less interactions and professionalism between them in the aftermath of it but for the most parts, moments like the couch scene in the Grammy reaction video wouldn't have made sense to any of us especially as we had just witnessed JK in the ON:E concert rushing to comfort and console JM when he was tearing up at the end of the concert.

At least when he pushed JM into a ditch somewhere in the dark in Soop we know he had been drinking and they were playing competitive sports. Even with that he still showed some concern when Jimin fell and injured himself afterwards.

I think we would all be wondering if Jikook were fanservice at that point, a fanservice relationship where JK only consoled Jimin when he cried infront of thousands of people at concerts and nibbled his ear while he was at it.

And I think we would be on opposite sides of the argument: me, arguing Jikook were experiencing a hiccup in their relationship and you, rationalizing that moment with anything from 'JK don't have to be at JM's beck and call' 'he is an introvert who is shy to show affections publicly' to even something about the weather.

But I would have looked at this moment from the October pop up video behind scenes and assumed JK was mad at Jimin for something JM had done and had done something in retaliation and was now feeling sorry he did.

And I would have based it off of this moment, or a countless similar ones from around On era or the previous eras where JK had done this exact same thing- frozen in place and staring at Jimin in the middle of a shoot or interview after sliding his hands down Tae's chest, clung on to the others unnecessarily to get a reaction out of JM.

Would I have been right? It really doesn't matter to me as long as it makes sense to me. I ship Jikook in a way that makes sense to me. Jikook are gay, in a gay relationship with each other and are human like anyone of us- that makes sense to me. Whether I am right or wrong.... who cares and why does it matter?

Personally, I think the only person grieving in that period was JK not JM and I don't think he grieved for long before he switched off his humanity and went stone cold tit for tat terminator on JM and BTS's ass. Lol. He had JM looking all kinds of subdued in that era. Lmho.

People grieve in various ways. In my opinion. For Jimin, I feel he puts on a strong facade most times when he has to film during such times and lately I feel he masks his emotions with anger.

Jk masks his pain with anger too sometimes but I feel in recent times, he is leaning more towards indifference. I think he tries not to be as affected by certain things as compared to the early half of 2020...

But I understand what you mean when you talk about grieve. I think for me rather than look for physical evidence of grief like a sad face, a tear drop dripping down a face, I love for vulnerability in them.

JK's is easy to tell because he tends to open himself up to others such as Tae or Jin or Hobi- and I don't mean like his interactions with them. I mean he leans on them for moral or emotional support.

In the Holiday remix video where he was hiding behind Jin, I felt he was feeling very vulnerable and exposed after that intense moment with Jimin.

It's what he does when he is feeling vulnerable. He turns to others especially Jimin and if Jimin is the cause of his vulnerability he turns away from him like he did within On era or even in Run 116.

When he is in a good place with Jimin, often he is closed off to the others. Jimin does the opposite. He shuts himself up entirely from the group. I don't think he likes to go through his pain by himself.

I've always found that bit fascinating about them. Jk opens himself to people when he is at his lowest while JM closes himself off when he is at his worst.

It played out in their rainy day fight as well. In JK's vulnerability, that's when he let Jimin in, lowering his walls while JM on the other hand closed himself off to him.

Can you give me more than they were together in that period because they played with eachother's lapels?

You don't think I'm thinking rationally when I insist on my theory? Uhmmm... okay? What is rational in this case?

Listen, I recieve a lot of hate for my 'irrational thoughts and opinions' out in these streets. I've lost potentially great friendship on this platform because of it. As I type this, there is someone in someone else's DMs persuading them not to read and engage with my posts because I'm extremely evil I think Jikook break up from time to time in their relationship.

If I genuinely believed in the slightest least or had the least doubt that Jikook were together in that period I would change my mind on the topic- damn my pride and ego. It simply isn't worth the hustle.

If it helps your sanity, please stop reading my blogs. My blogs are not for everyone. It makes some people happy, it makes some people mad and some people experience both.

My gratification is in sharing my thoughts and chronicling Jikook's journey for my own appeasement and support of Jikook. I owe it to them as a believer and a supporter to humanize them as much as possible.

I do not seek to convert others, change minds, or convince anyone of my opinions or to disabuse anyone of theirs.

Let's just agree to disagree on the matter please. Or if you can drop the ad hominems, I would be more than happy to go back and forth with you on this very topic. It's actually shaping out to be one of my favorite Jikook eras. I love me some terminator JK. Lol.

Signed,

GOLDY

[mozillavulpix]

super anti-komahina salt

and this is to go further beyond

I saw a komahina fan post a write-up and it just irritates me so I want to break it down:

“If you think Komaeda is batshit insane or that his character is only about his obsession with hope and you interpreted Hinata's feelings about Komaeda as just hate of course it wouldn't make sense. Except neither of these are true for their characters.”

This is the basic surface-level narrative Komahina fans argue against, and fair enough, it’s a massive generalisation. But this argument also just irritates me because it implies everyone who doesn’t ship them do so because they don’t understand the characters well enough.

“long story short Komaeda's obsesses over hope as a coping mechanism, because it's the only thing he can cling to.”

I can agree with this in a way, but in my opinion I don’t think he’s so weak that it’s impossible for him break free from that mindset (during the game) if he really wants to.

“Komaeda doesn't like Hinata because he thinks he is talented and above him, Komaeda says he loves all ultimates but it's not real love. His love for Hinata is different. In the SDR2 drama CD he mentions that he loves Hinata because he tries to understand him.”

I can agree with this. Although the Drama CD is literally just the Free Time Events, I don’t think it’s some kind of ‘gotcha’ like people think it’d be.

But also keep in mind, yes, Hajime tries to give Nagito a chance and doesn’t immediately run away screaming because scary person he can’t understand, but Hajime also doesn’t particularly act more saintly than all the other kids towards Nagito after Chapter 1. Nekomaru and Kazuichi seem to at least try to hear Nagito out before they punch him in the face. Mahiru seems like she was the first one to consider giving him breakfast. Hajime tries to stop Akane from attacking him after the Chapter 1 trial, but mostly because he’s resigned to the fact it won’t change what he did, and he then changes his mind and gets pissed off when Nagito decides to taunt him about his amnesia in response. And it’s Sonia who finally settles everyone down. So yes, Hajime tries to understand Nagito, but in the actual plot itself that’s not a special trait unique to him.

It’s only ‘unique’ if you choose to do the Free Time Events, and the Free Time Events...are basically not canon. They’re more like a what-if scenario the player chooses to view, and the dialogue was written from that perspective.

As in, maybe it’s canon that they’d interact like that if they spent time together on the island, but it’s not canon that Hajime does and wants to do that during the story. Because you can do them for everyone.

“And they reach a mutual understanding in DR3 because the two of them are more alike than Hinata would like to admit.”

Um...

Well, this is why DR2.5 is bullshit

I agree they’re similar, but I think both of them knew this from the very beginning. It’s not exactly a reason for reconciliation and forgiveness. The fact they have similarities is the exact reason why Hajime is so upset at his betrayal, and snaps back at Nagito every time he brings that up. So I don’t know if that’s really a good reason to explain why they’ve forgiven each other come DR3.

“Komaeda doesn't see himself as above untalented reserves either, because in 2-4, after realizing the truth about Hinata he says that they are the same, stepladders for hope. He was lashing out at all the students for being despair. They are similar, because they both share the same views that talent is everything.”

And then Hajime gets his character development for the rest of the game all so he can realise talent isn’t everything. So...?

“Now from Hinata's end, a lot of people seem to miss this about him, but he is someone who denies his feelings when they get inconvenient, he is called a tsundere by monokuma” 

I guess this is a diss against the surface-level people and people who are like “but the text literally says this”. But even then, the game literally shows Hajime’s inner thoughts. If he’s conflicted about things, the text generally shows that too, even if it’s with a careful inclusion of a ‘...’

So I don’t think we should take that trait as an excuse to literally ignore what the text says.

He was felt pumped when Komaeda was out of critical condition, but he thinks "why do I have to feel pumped, oh well best not to think about it"....because Hinata likes to avoid facing things that inconvenient him. Hinata finds it hard to trust Komaeda and doesn't play along with him, because he is afraid of getting caught in his pace, and not because he hates him and thinks he is better off dead.

This part literally read like a high-schooler’s english essay, and maybe this kid actually is a high-schooler, tbh. Because that is one big leap from “Hajime finds it difficult to deal with his feelings” to “since Hajime finds it difficult to deal with Nagito, it means he doesn’t hate him”.

“I don't think Komaeda is a fundametally bad person but is shaped to be what he is because of his luck cycle. In his last FTE, Hinata asks what Komaeda would do if didn't have his luck cycle, and his answer was something along the lines of " a normal life, devoid of hope and despair". And we get to that his innermost desires is to live a normal life in the OVA, and his character song zansakura zanka.”

He can also just decide to not believe in his luck cycle.

Also, in the OVA, he’s embarrassed by that inner desire and tells World Destroyer he hopes no one saw that maybe he wishes for a world without talent.

Like his desire to be a good person is so hidden that he doesn’t want people to know.

“Hinata even mentions Komaeda isn't trying to trick anyone for selfish reasons in his report card, so it's a shame to see so many people attribute all of Komaeda's actions to malice just because of what Hinata thought of him in chapter 5 because it wasn't clear what Komaeda's reasons were at that point.”

Okay, a few things to unpack here:

Just because Nagito is doing things ‘for the greater good’, doesn’t mean it’s not also selfish. Hajime isn’t going to say that because Hajime doesn’t realise that. You can’t exactly trust him with being able to articulate everything about a character’s worldview. Izuru would. He probably does in Chapter 0. (And that’s why he seems disgusted by him).

Also, there’s “maybe Hajime is a slightly unreliable narrator because he tries to avoid thinking about difficult things”, and there’s “actually, the majority of how Hajime views Chapter 5 is unreliable because he didn’t know for sure if Nagito’s plan was malicious or not, it was just his gut feeling”.

What about the video message after Chapter 5? What about having to spell out ‘KILL US ALL’? What about Chapter 0 showing how in the real world Nagito had completely lost it? It’s not like the game was trying to present Nagito as any little bit more sympathetic after the trial. If anything, every piece of new info reinforced that mindset Nagito was filled with malice, up to the ‘fake Makoto’ saying that he somewhat understood him. The fake Hope made by Junko to trick them.

If you compare Chapter 5 in 2 to Chapter 5 in V3, you can see how the positioning is different. V3 does the “the villain tries to make himself look the worst he can in the mind of the heroes when in reality his real intentions were different” a lot better. More flat-out intentionally - the protagonist kind of literally giving a monologue about how the character was morally grey and even at the end there they couldn’t say they knew their true intentions. But also it’s just not as...sinister as 2-5. No ominous chanting, no dismembered limbs, none of the characters feeling completely out of their element and terrified. I think it’s text that Nagito is supposed to be villainous in Chapter 5 and even past Chapter 5.

So...

I can at least understand where Komahina comes from, but god it annoys me

Unpacking it like this, I can see it’s not even fair to argue back a lot of it - the stuff people are saying do make sense and are arguing against kinds of people I have seen.

Besides, I’m not arguing Komahina ‘can’t be canon’.

My view is just I think Hajime deserves better than a character like Nagito, who never repented for his actions on-screen or even gave much of a hint that he wanted to repent for his actions.

And that it’s still easy to argue that Nagito is a bad person even with his trauma.

Not everyone who calls Nagito an awful person is an idiot who doesn’t know how to read text past the surface, you can still make a nuanced take with that conclusion

for god’s sake

[shhh-no-ones-home]

model citizen ricky horror x reader

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college au

prompt: Character A sitting in a college 7am lecture and Character B sitting next to them pouring an energy drink into their coffee and says, "I'm going to die." (First interaction)

Song: pretty little distance by as it is

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @theoneandonlykymberlee @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @xyours-eternallyx

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i walked into the room and huffed as i took my seat, reaching into my bag for my notebook and a pen. i hated having a 9am again and missed being able to sleep-in like i did last semester. this was the first day though and i was hopeful my mind would change about it as the course went on. it probably wouldnt though. i sat there, catching a few more students walk in as i looked down at my phone.

nothing was too exciting yet and the teacher hadnt even shown up. i was more-so ready for the new art class though. it was my major after all and i was pretty well known by the professors at this point. as i sat there, a loud clatter grabbed my attention, making me look to my right. there was sat a shorter, skinny kid, with long inky black hair tucked under a beanie. my eyes went wide as he cracked the monster in his hand open, pouring it into his half=full trenta cup from Starbucks. he looked over at me and smiled.

"im going to die."

he said in the most sure-fire tone before putting the lid back on the cup and chugging it. i sat there in horror staring at him.

"are you okay?"

i asked and he shrugged, looking at me over the top of the cup. he had the bluest eyes i had ever seen, even in the low light of the art room. i was a little start struck for a second before shaking myself out of my daze, watching him put the cup down against the desk with a thud.

"if i pass out during class just push me out of the way and ill figure something out later."

he said, turning forward. i went to say something just as the teacher walked in.

"y/n! good to see you back. we missed you last semester."

professor crane said, looking to the student teacher as he ducked behind him and paced quickly to the front desk. his gaze followed him too before he shrugged and turned back to me with a smile.

"whatever, im sure he missed you too. but either way its good to have you back in class and i look forward to seeing what you come up with for the showcase in march."

i nodded with a smile before he walked away to the front of the class, instructing everyone to take their seats.

"you come here often?"

i heard from the kid next to me, hearing him laugh to himself as he took another drink of his coffee/monster concoction.

"yes, actually. im an art major."

i said a little dumbfounded. he nodded.

"cool, im here for film."

i drew my brows.

"youre doing film?"

i asked and he winked at me, looking to Brian as he turned the projector on. i opened my mouth before closing it quickly, feeling a little more confused than before.

"alright, first things first. i only make a syllabus because administration says i have to. the schedule is shit and we will most likely be doing something completely different so i suggest you keep a planner or something to keep track of your assignments. secondly, i will get to it later but i want you to start thinking about your projects for the spring showcase in march. we have a few short months so after you learn the basics of form you will be instructed to sketch something in your own style and present it to the board."

my mind went in and out after that, trying to catch quick glances at the kid next to me without being suspicious. every time he moved i could feel my heart pulse, giving me anxiety that he could actually pass out or something.

"y/n, your partner for this project will be mr olson."

brian said, standing over me and looking between the two of us. i nodded with wide eyes as he moved to the two kids behind us.

"guess that means we have pretty high chances at getting an A."

he said, raising his cup in cheers. i looked down at the assignment sheet, grazing over it and groaning. we had to come up with a comic strip in different style parts; the first panel a base sketch, the second panel a hard sketch, the third panel color blocking, and so on. god this was gonna be a nightmare.

"you dont seem too enthused."

the kid said amused. i sent him a testing look.

"im not, ive done something similar before and you have to get every step just right or they take points off. and we have to prove what parts we did."

i said, rolling my eyes. i looked over to him, blinking as a camera flash went off. i drew my brows as he looked down at the screen on it.

"where did you even get that?"

i asked, trying to inspect him. he sent me a smile.

"i always keep it on me. im ricky by the way, and you look great."

he said amused and i breathed deeply.

"y/n."

i said, looking back to the paper.

"well y/n i think this is going to be a great partnership-"

"alright!"

brian called, cutting him off.

"you have your assignments. i have nothing else for you today so you are welcome to either stay here and work until class time is over or you can leave and work on it on your own time. i dont really care either way, just get it done."

i hummed to myself before stuffing my notebook and the assignment sheet into my bag and standing up. i caught a glimpse of ricky starting at me with wide eyes as i turned to leave.

"what are you doing?"

he asked and i looked between him and the door, pointing at it.

"leaving, its not due for another week."

i started off, hearing him shuffle around before chasing after me.

"hey wait! cant we like plan what we're doing or something?"

he asked and i shrugged, looking over to him as he tried to put his paper in his backpack and hold the camera and cup of coffee. i stopped, staring at him as he struggled. i rolled my eyes, taking the cup and the camera from him. he looked to me in shock and i raised my brows.

"get to it, i dont have all day."

i said and he finished what he was doing, zipping his bag up and slinging it over it shoulder. i handed him the cup and camera back and kept walking.

"so uh, what kind of thing did you have in mind for this project?"

he asked and i looked to the sky, squinting but trying to think as we made it outside.

"i dont know, maybe a ball of some kind?"

he raised a brow, shuffling his feet as he tried to keep up with my long strides.

"like masks and large dresses?"

he asked and i nodded, opening the door to dinging hall.

"something like that yeah."

he nodded as i led us to a table.

"that sounds cool, i could get behind that."

i sent him a knowing look.

"you seem like the kind of guy who would."

i said, pulling my sketchpad out. he raised a brow, sitting beside me.

"whats that supposed to mean?"

he asked and i sent him  a look.

"im assuming you like vampires, and the Edwardian thing usually goes hand in hand with that."

he sent me a nervous smile.

"is it that obvious?"

he asked, rubbing his hands against his pants. i nodded.

"thats okay though, cause i like them too. so much so that i have costumes already, we can pose for each other. i think youd look great in this."

i said, sliding my phone across the table to show him the outfit i had for it. i just hoped it would fit him.

"you seem like youve been planning this for a while."

he said through a laugh and i shrugged.

"i just like to feel fancy, the projects on the other hand kind of fall into my lap."

i said, flipping through a few pages in my book. he placed his hand on one before taking it from me and looking over it.

"this looks insane."

he said and i looked around awkwardly.

"in a good way?"

i asked, finding his gaze.

"oh! yeah! of course in a good way. it looks super cool. i see why you wanted to do the ball thing now."

he commented, noting the sketch i had done already that was similar. it is what i was used to after all. he set the book back down in front of me and sent me a wide smile, picking his camera up and taking another picture of me.

"why do you do that?"

i asked and he laughed.

"i need models for my art and i think now that we've met you would be a great subject."

i set him a look, trying to hide the blush creeping its way up my neck.

"you really think so?"

i asked bashfully and he nodded.

"oh yeah, absolutely. and now that we're partners i think it will give me ample opportunity to find a new muse. you wanna be a subject for a music video?"

i sat back, a little taken aback.

"you want me to do what?"

i asked and he laughed, putting the camera on the table.

"in about a month my band is gonna need some girls for a video but its cool if not. i can live with us just being art project partners."

i cleared my throat, rubbing my hands together under the table.

"how about we get through this first and ill get back to you on that?"

he smiled knowingly at me, raising his coffee to me in cheers.

"sounds like a plan to me."

[musette22]

Minnie!! So I was watching old interviews today as one does and it’s really interesting that Chris and Sebastian have only a few together without other people there. The two main characters Steve and Bucky (let’s face it) of the Cap trilogy, so pushing that friendship/relationship (depends on what people see) to appeal to wider audiences would have been such a smart move, regardless of shipping.

Logically by pairing them together for more interviews would have not only have got a lot more views but the chemistry is undeniable and crazy. They would have gained a higher audience as fans would have gone insane, wether it was solo fans or fans of both of them (from other films/TV shows). Both Chris and Sebastian are naturally charismatic and have a wonderful atmosphere to interviews. The whole point of the film industry is to get more people to watch/buy the films and Marvel is ridiculously popular. Why not profit off of that? Why separate them?

So the question is : Why weren’t they put together more often? Wouldn’t you want to push chemistry to an audience? Very interesting to me that the only cases seen similar to this is when people are trying to hide something, so..... 😉😉

I might just be talking none sense, have a great day darling!! xx

Hiya love!! Yeah, I do think there could be something to what you’re saying, absolutely. I’ve had similar thoughts myself! I definitely would’ve expected more interviews and promo with Chris and Seb together, especially for the first movies!! But after TWS and around the time of CW and after, it makes sense to me they weren’t paired together often, because Marvel started massively backtracking on encouraging the shipping from that point since it had become too mainstream and was starting to cause issues for them.  Yes, it would’ve drawn in even more shippers if they’d paired them up together and shown off their chemistry, much like they’re doing now with Seb and Mackie (although hat’s a different kind of chemistry if you ask me), but since even mainstream media outlets were actively talking about the possibility of Steve and Bucky’s relationship being romantic in nature after TWS, that was kind of the last thing they wanted (hence the Sharon kiss, and the fact that Steve and Bucky hardly had any meaningful on-screen interactions anymore after that point). It was exactly what they wanted up to a certain point, and then it wasn’t.

However, I do think it may have been a combination of factors that led to Chris and Seb rarely being paired together for press, some of which were no doubt to do with Stucky, but some of them could definitely also have been related to the nature of their personal relationship (and we all know they were never at odds or anything like that, so that just leaves... 💁🏻) I have many thoughts about this so I certainly get where you’re coming from 😉

Hope you’re having an amazing Sunday, sweetheart! 😘😘

[masterthespianduchovny]

actually I just realize how they are also touchy with one another, sure that's just well a human thing and whatnot but there are unintentional ones like for example, her hand going to his thigh and his mouth shutting close, or the way in the cutting room where he 'jokingly' tried to pull on her dress and her never flinching about it and rather laughing at him doing so. They always somehow imply that's how colleagues would act towards one another?But sorry I doubt so.

It’s not how colleagues would act towards one another....

NOTE: this response got waaaaaay longer than intended because I added some thoughts ive been having the last few days. Lol.

Gillovny doesn’t exist just based on chemistry, it’s about how David and Gillian behave. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and, whether you are an OG fan or a new fan, many fans who get in to the show either think David and Gillian were involved or should be. 😂 and, honestly, I don’t think it’s just based on Mulder and Scully, you know?

It’s perplexing that literally generations of people think these two were fucking at some point in time despite their persistent denials that they haven’t.

And I believe my “relationship” with Gillovny is similar to some others. Initially, I thought they’d look cute together IRL, but never thought they were together because my opinion was just based on their chemistry on the show. I’m not sure when wiki became the go to source of information, but when I originally read up on Gillian I thought she was still married, so I was like, “oh, so that’s a no between her and David.” Lol. Then I saw that she was divorced and he was married and still married, which made me repeat “that’s a no.” Clearly, they weren’t involved, right? (And, I’m not saying they are or were, I really don’t know.) this was around 04ish.

But their chemistry and dynamic always fascinated me. While I thought it was cute, I just thought it was cute because there was no proof of them ever having a thing. Besides, Gillian got married in the first season and David later got married and was still married.

Then Gillian got pregnant on the set of IWTB and there was a little freak out in the community before she introduced Mark.

It was like...🤔, but okay. (I’m not arguing that David is the father, it was just wild when it was revealed when she got pregnant. Lol)

And, around this time, I’d read about how they “hated” each other during the run of the show.

Then, 2013 happened. I believe this the year they announced they were separated/divorced from their partners on each other’s birthdays, which is like the weirdest thing ever. Why on each other’s birthdays? The timing of that was a mindfuck.

David and Gillian had some good con interactions before that, but we started seeing more intimacy between them post separation announcements. They were kinda different, but in a good way.

Over time, i started to reflect on what I knew, what I was told, what I’ve seen, and how I understood that information. If you’re wondering what this has to do with your ask, here’s my point: out of context, their behavior is noteworthy, but you can hand wave it if you try. In context, it paints a fascinating picture of two people with a complicated history.

Two people who “hate” each other, yet are very touchy and handsy with one another. Two people who make out for fun and crack sexual jokes with one another that includes physical demonstrations. People who’ve been around them the longest, both years and time, describe actual love and care between them.

They have brought out the worst in one another, but they also bring out the best in each other as well. Their comfort levels with one another is insane considering their “canon” history framed by the media and because they didn’t have to get physically intimate with each other on screen. And I mean like fictional couples do when they hug and kiss a lot and shit like that. Not just simulated sex.

David can pull on her shirt and she just comes to him without thinking twice about what he’s doing. He doesn’t react to Gillian spitting her food in his hand because it’s not gross to him (why???). They were touching all over each other during the Kimmel interview like it was the most natural thing in the world.

They are more touchy then actors who’ve had fake sex scenes together and the ones who are/were dating IRL.

So, when I said many fans, gillovnies, experiences match mine, I’m saying: we start out thinking they’d be cute together, and then see interviews and shit and come to the conclusion that there is more going on than they’re letting on. It’s not that we’ve convinced ourselves of it because we want it to be true, but rather, unless their relationship is unconventional as fuck, but platonic, it doesn’t make any sense outside of that.

Things that stick out to me that isn’t speculation:

1. An interview where David and Gillian interview each other and Gillian point blank says he must’ve been serious about tea to marry her so quick, and then asked David why she wasn’t invited to their wedding. Gillian was clearly pissed and it was so left field. If that wasn’t noteworthy as hell, David response is baffling (since they “hated” each other) because he says, “you’re still mad about that, huh?” This exchange is wild as hell because Gillian shouldn’t have given a fuck and she does and David’s an ass about it, but they’ve clearly talked about this and he’s over it. To top it all off, this was during an interview for the movie. Like, what??? The question nor the response was professional.

2. The filming of the unnatural. A fan came to see David direct, some sets were open for fans, and witnessed David humping Gillian as a joke and Gillian is enjoying herself and going along with it. The kicker is, I mean besides the playful humping, is that tea left when she saw Gillian arrive on set and this happened shortly after tea left. And there is evidence that David humps his costars for fun: Mitch and nick in bloopers. However, David and Gillian were supposed to hate each other, yet during the batting scene he’s holding her close and grinding against her for giggles. I AM confusion.

3. ‘97 GG. He was her emotional support during the announcement of her divorce. They held hands all night, the affection during the ceremony, and the suspicious lipstick on David’s face. Shortly after this, David meets and marries tea, which is around the time the dark ages starts between them.

4. How unusual it is for them to constantly compare their romantic relationships with how long they’ve known each other. I literally don’t see any other actors talk about their relationship in the context David and Gillian do.

Point being: as you mentioned, their behavior isn’t how colleagues act (even those who are or were dating) and their dynamic isn’t normal by any means. Whether or not they’ve been involved in any capacity, physically or emotionally, they have some complicated shit they don’t want others privy to, which is their right. However, they’re trying their best to downplay whatever their relationship is all while telling on themselves via their behavior, actions, or unintentional replies to questions.

[msindrad]

an insanely long crazy-ass post about the dollars trilogy, I’m so sorry y’all

I FOUND THIS POST. I DID IT. I FOUND IT. JESUS. I spent the entirety of my yesterday searching for it.

I’m going to tag everybody who participated in this discussion and whose posts I‘ve found while searching for this discussion on the off-chance that they still might be interested in, yeah, discussing these films.

@clinteastwood-blog @geekboots-blog @istadris @sybilius @bleak-nomads @thenotsobad-thebad-andtheugly @bloncos @mcicioni-blog @unrealthings @stephantom @colonelmortimer

Also, please feel free to ignore me and my analytical outburst if you don’t feel like talking about the films or talking about them with my crazy hyperfixated ass specifically, lol. I didn’t mean to be rude by calling you out of nowhere, it’s just that sometimes people get excited when there is an enthusiastic newbie in the fandom and gladly return to their beloved canons.

Anyway. The dollars trilogy.

I’ll start with The Good, the Band and the Ugly (and will probably make myself instantly unlikable by nitpicking things, (sigh)).

As stupid as it might sound – the film being an absolute masterpiece, a cultural milestone that is timeless, epic, work of genius, love it, will write and draw about it with pleasure etc. – I’m kind of inclined to find the GBU the weakest film in the trilogy storywise. Don’t get me wrong: the plot is interesting and strong, every scene is entertaining, smart, and instantly quotable… But.

There are a few things that make the story, taken holistically, weak to a degree, especially in contrast to the other two films. Now, let me explain my bold-ass claim.

The first reason I couldn’t even pinpoint for myself until my best friend asked me: yeah, it’s all cool and fun, but what has really changed at the end of the film? They stopped the battle/blew up the bridge (kudos for the pacifist message), they killed a few folks on the way including Angel Eyes, but what did the story amount to in the end? Was their relationship changed? Have they themselves learned something about life, universe and everything? Tuco is still on the rope, Blondie still shoots the rope. They both got their money, split it 50/50. Sure, now it’s an insane amount of money but will it make them reconsider their ways of life? I don’t know, and I don’t necessarily think so. They’re really back to square one. If you consider the graphic novel The Man With No Name canon, then (spoiler) Blondie gives his money away to help rebuild the monastery of Tuco’s brother, and Tuco himself doesn’t really invest his share in anything other than booze, and sex, and troubles, so. Then, Angel Eyes got killed off, but he had even less backstory/character arc than, for instance, Captain Clinton, not to mention that his image, as memorable as it was, kind of lacked certain complexity, so, does it really matter storywise (although he is a great, stylish character, but I hope that you get what I mean)? (Note: Angel Eyes should have been the film’s ultimate personification of the war (inhumanely ruthless, only interested in money, extremely goal-oriented etc.), which, the war, kind of is the main antagonist of the film if you think about it; but the way he was used in the plot, the way he acted, and was generally presented, communicated it only in a limited way, imo).

Everything about the adventure was fun, smart, entertaining, one of the best films ever made, I agree 100%, and I rewatched it with pleasure many times. But I believe that stories have to bring about some palpable change in their world in order for them to be successful and finished. The GBU, in my opinion, doesn’t do it because it doesn’t want to be a story-story, and it’s fine with just letting its characters exist in a magic Western/a cowboy fantasy/a fairy tale. And I guess it’s also one of the reasons why the story didn’t go anywhere from the GBU – there is nothing to add to a basis like that. And I can’t help noting that it’s super ironic that the only film in the trilogy that truly seems to be all about money-money-money has no “dollars” in its title.

Another thing that I think is super important: there is almost no female energy or presence in the film. And it’s not even a matter of representation that bugs me, although I think it’s very important. It just feels like there is a deficit of something vital that renders everything even sort of unrealistic. In AFOD we have Marisol and we have Consuelo Baxter, and they’re relevant for the plot, and they have goals, motivations… lines. In FAFDM we have Mary, who has only a few brief moments, but she’s memorable, endearing, and she has a small story/motivation of her own, and we also have Mortimer’s sister, who is EXTREMELY important, and who also isn’t just symbolic, she herself makes a plot-relevant decision on screen, although a really horrible one from my personal moral standpoint. In the GBU we have what? A prostitute that’s beaten up by Angel Eyes (I never watch this scene), another woman at the hotel where Blondie stays in that is shut up and called an old hag or something like it, and another woman that makes a comment about Tuco’s hanging. None of them are memorable or have motivations on their own, and to me it makes the film lacking some really important counterpoint in terms of dynamics etc.

And nobody needs me to describe all the things that the film is awesome at because everybody knows that the film is one of the best films ever made, so painfully gorgeous that it’s difficult to praise it. So, I’ll move on to the other two films but will briefly talk about Tuco and Eli Wallach.

Eli Wallach is considered one of the best actors ever to appear on film for reason, so, I’ll just say about my personal impressions from his performance: he really made me emphasize with Tuco. His acting is incredibly rich, nuanced, concentrated, and, imo, just leaves you no choice but to think of Tuco as a real complex human being, not a film character. And Tuco is a superb character. Over the course of the story he gets to be loathsome, humane, funny, silly, terrifying, and cunning, - often all those at the same time. That’s one hell of a captivating character who’s just very, very interesting to watch and to analyze, regardless whether you like him or not.

Then, we have A Fistful of Dollars. I’m a huge fan of classic adventure stories that are gen, plot-driven, and have smart main characters figuring out a way to get what they want without being destroyed by other characters for wanting or trying to get it in the first place. I think it’s very difficult and very rewarding to write a good story in this genre. AFOD is exactly this kind of story, and this kind of stories is only as good as their protagonists’ maneuvers are. And Joe is, like, a tactical genius (the barrel! the fire!). And it’s much better to rewatch the film to remind yourself of how smart he is than have me talking about it, so.

But apart from that he is also humanized by his deeply personal motivations that appear completely irrational especially in contrast to his clever manipulations of the Baxters and the Rojos. And he doesn’t do it egotistically, to “get the girl,” which wouldn’t make him particularly sympathetic one way or another. Sure, he makes a good buck at the end, but his primary motivation still is justice for Marisol and her family (and then protection of his friend). Additionally, Joe gets his fair share of punishment for providing said justice, which further humanizes him and kind of makes you worry about him. And Silvanito with his scolding, humor, and skepticism helps with it a lot, too.

And then, there is the fact that the film wants the audience to either want to be Joe or want to be with him, sometimes both at the same time. Everybody on screen is a single Joe’s wink away from swooning because how he practically oozes charisma (only Silvanito is immune to his charms). I can’t blame them, though.

And I also want to point out the last lines of the film: Joe says that he doesn’t want to get involved into politics because that would be too much for him, and I think that it’s very fitting. The film just showed how cool he is, but he knows his limits, and he knows that he operates on a different plane.

So, all in all, it’s a masterfully done story.

Finally, we have For a Few Dollars more. I love all three films, but FAFDM is my favorite, there’s no doubt about that. I’ll start with the fact that it’s perfectly structured and perfectly balanced. We have three big players, Mortimer, Manco, and Indio, and the film shows how dangerous and how smart each of them is, so that the conflict between them ends up being very, very suspenseful. Not to mention the fact that it takes Manco and Mortimer almost 40 minutes, I think, to finally properly meet – by that time we are already speculating who will be the winner in the end, how will they react to each other, how will they interact, how will they work together etc. We get to know them quite well first, and then their relationship allows us to explore their characters even deeper through their interactions, their differences, and their similarities. For some time, storywise they become a single unit. While the story of Indio’s assault on Mortimer’s sister is revealed parallel to the plot.  

Indio himself is terrifying as hell without being cartoonish. He is a really dangerous, broken man that is also methodical, smart, and ruthless. He is so bad that he kills the opponent’s family just to make him bitter enough to draw on him. And he is so bad that he is okay with killing off his own gang.  

Speaking of which, Indio’s gang is colorful. He has interesting interactions with them at the beginning, in that church. And Klaus Kinski made his Wild stand out to me. I swear, the moment he almost cries in that saloon when Mortimer takes away his cigar, I feel bad for him every single time. And when he recognized Mortimer, it was tense. He even had a cool witty one-liner after Mortimer said that he should come to him in ten minutes to help him light that match and smoke: “In ten minutes, you’ll be smoking in hell!”

By the way, Indio’s tendency to get unnecessarily physical with his gang looks even more unnerving when he touches Manco to check his wound/shares a smoke him with some clearly visible eroticized subtext, which gets even creepier when you realize that he is a rapist. I swear, I was worried about Mortimer when I saw the film for the second time – that is even though I knew the plot – because Manco brought up that family resemblance between Mortimer and his sister, and we all know what Indio did to her.

What else? I could bring up all sorts of things, the action, the final duel, the small smart details that allow the plot to happen the way it happens (e.g. how Manco manages to hide the bag with all the money on that tree before Indio’s gang capture him and Mortimer – only to re-collect that bag at the end of the film), the humor, the street kids and all the other cool-cool secondary characters (Joseph Egger’s informer probably is my favorite), the opening sequence and the title card (oops, already rambled about this one) really, anything and everything including the perfect chemistry between Manco and Mortimer.

But I’ll just say that the music in this film is special to me. Every single composition by Ennio Morricone is special, unique, memorable, and intriguing, it’s true, and so it feels redundant and banal to say something like this. The Ecstasy of Gold is almost extraterrestrial, the main theme of Two Mules For Sister Sara imitates actual mule sounds, how genius is that, etc., and you must be dead to not be enticed and mesmerized beyond words by the main theme of the GBU, which is a hymn of all spaghetti Westerns now, a universal call for adventure (I feel like a bad person saying this, but I’ve always wanted to joke that Ennio put sexy back into the “waah-waah”… no, I regret nothing).

BUT. To me personally, the music in FAFDM is as personal as the film itself, and dare I say even more important to the story than in the GBU, despite the theme of the GBU being a kind of Greek choir throughout the film. The personalized sounds for Manco and Mortimer accentuate their personalities to the point where they almost create a reflex in you. The pocket watch chime is literally part of the story and plays a huge, crucial role in the plot! And it’s decidedly one of the saddest musical scores I’ve ever heard. It’s minimalist, mournful, and yet also nostalgically bittersweet. It feels like a reminder that there’s no going back whatever that might mean in the actuality. And the famous moment where Manco asks Mortimer whether his question was indiscreet and Mortimer says that the answer could be… I feel personally touched whenever I watch the scene. For me, it doesn’t feel like just an amazing scene, it triggers some deep emotion that is hard to express and almost gives me the urge to cry. Something along the lines of respectful and compassionate “I’m sorry that it happened to you,” “I’m sorry that I can’t help you.” The feeling of personal tragedy is conveyed infinitely better than a three-volume backstory ever could.

And then, there is this huge potential for all the stories about Manco, and Mortimer, and Blondie, and Tuco, and Angel Eyes, and even Joe to explore... Well, I better stop here.

So, yeah. It turned out to be a crazy long post, and I‘m grateful to anybody who reads it till the end. And if you haven’t watched these movies please do. Cheers.

[aesthyuckic]

AVENOIR | l.dh - DUODECIM

(gif not mine - credits to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.8K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence, mentions of abuse

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

II OF SWORDS: difficult choices, indecision, stalemate

Donghyuck could hear the birds chirp outside the window was well as the sun warm up the sheets of the bed on the cool morning. He hummed to himself in his half awake state before he felt the bed suddenly dip behind him. A warm hand came to rest on his shoulder that radiated through the white shirt as it gently shook him to wake up.

“Haechan, you have to wake up.” She cooed, softly from behind him.

He groaned as he hugged the pillow under his head tighter, “I fell asleep a few hours ago. I deserve to get more sleep before I go insane.”

“But it’s your birthday.” She whispered. “I wanted to do stuff to celebrate.”

“Exactly why I deserve more sleep. You should’ve wished me a happy birthday last night when I was away at midnight.”

“Fine.”

He could heard she was slightly pissed off by her tone and usually she wouldn’t have walked away so easily. He thought maybe she’d give him a break since it was his birthday after all. He heard her footsteps recede away from the bed once she got off of it which he smiled, sleepily at as he hugged the pillow again. He signed at eerily peaceful quiet, it seemed almost too quiet but he was too sleep deprived to care. Then he heard footsteps come out of nowhere, running toward him. Before he could do anything, he felt the whipped cream and frosting all over his face.

He shot up in that moment, whipping the cream out of his eyes to see the girl standing at the end of the bed with an evil grin on her face as she giggled. Which he’d admit, would have been kind of cute if he hadn’t been so ticked off. She turned around and darted out of the trailer before he could get her. He huffed before throwing the blanket off of him and running after her.

“Cosimia, I’m gonna get you back so badly!” He yelled at the top of his lungs as he slipped on his scandals and ran out.

As soon as he stepped out to go track her down, he was bombarded with all of their friends and co-workers standing right in front of him. He felt quite embarrassed about having cake all over his face, but luckily the frosting hid his red cheeks. He noticed Cosimia standing in the middle and in front of it all, now with a sweet smile on her face as everyone wished him a happy birthday and set off party poppers that littered the ground with colored paper.

He felt so small in that moment as everyone cams over and surrounded him. Sicheng even handed him a towel to wipe his face with to get rid of the frosting, which he did, happily. He felt overwhelmed by the amount of people coming over to wish him a happy birthday, yet again, while giving him a pat on his back or something as he cleaned his face. He really didn’t want to make a big deal out of his birthday or even celebrate it. It was the one time he finally got attention since they had gotten there though. It was just... harder for him to be happy about it with so many people.

He finally saw his friend emerge from everyone as they left, a small smile still gracing her face, “I’m sorry I had to wake you up like that. Everyone just wanted to say happy birthday to you.”

“And you couldn’t have just told me that?” He asked, getting the frosting and cream out of his hair with the towel.

“Have you ever heard of a surprise?” She scoffed as she crossed her arms.

“That was the intent...” Sicheng butted in. “But hey, you’re eighteen now! So as a legal adult, what do you plan on doing?”

“Wish to be seventeen again...”

“No, I meant are gonna go see an R rated movie since you can see one without your mommy.”

“You know how easy it is to sneak into a movie theatre? And don’t bring up my mommy.”

“You seem so bummed about being eighteen, usually most people can’t wait.”

“That’s because all the fun stuff got moved up to twenty-one. It’s just not all that.”

He finally handed the towel back to Sicheng, not without a frown on his face. He appeared upset about the fact that he was adult to them. They wondered why but he just felt nostalgic and started to reminisce on old memories with his friends and families. He knew Mark, Yangyang and Renjun had plans for his eighteenth as well as his mom and little siblings. Somehow, he completely forgot about it when Cosimia came along.

“I’m gonna go inside.” He said, quickly before turning back and going up the stairs.

“But we were going to cook you breakfast...” The girl pouted.

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” He shrugged.

The screen shut behind him with a creak. Cosimia and Sicheng both look at each other with concern. It was too obvious something bothered him beyond just the number by the heaviness in his steps. She excused herself to follow shortly after he went inside.

By the time she was back inside she could see him sitting down on the bed from the kitchen. She pouted to herself once again as she walked back into the room. She noticed there was still pieces of cake on the floor and bed he didn’t seem to care much about. He didn’t look at her when she came in, rather he continued to stare outside the window on his side. She sat down on her side of bed which was luckily still clean as his back was to her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, softly and gently.

“Eighteen is not a great number, that’s all.” He responded.

She sighed as she crawled over to him to put her arms around him from behind in a hug, “You never learn, do you? I know there’s more to it than just that... It’s your family, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“You know you can back if you really want, Haechan. I’ve told you multiple times I’m fine on my own.”

“It’s hard to know what I want anymore...”

“Where are your tarot cards?”

“In the drawer, why?”

She didn’t answer him, rather just release him from her warm embrace which made him internally whine. She reached over to open and grab the box out. He started to feel an attachment to the cards, oddly enough. He would have never thought seeing her handling his cards, that were given by her, would make him so anxious. He could hear her shuffle the cards behind him, not very well by the little buffs and puffs. It kind of made him smile to himself as she was still horrible at shuffling.

“Fuck it.” He heard her cuss under her breath before she handed him a card over his shoulder. “The chariot; it means willpower, a journey and overcoming obstacles. That’s you when we first ran away. You didn’t really care about anything else and were focused on moving forward.”

She handed him another card.

“Death; You shouldn’t be scared of this one. It simply means profound change, letting go of attachments and endings in this situation. This is you now, meaning you are still deciding what to do but it’s a sign to let go of what was in the past and move on, whatever that means to you. You need to close one chapter to start another one.”

She handed him the last card.

“The hanged man; similar to death but different. It means letting go, breaking old patterns or habits and a metamorphosis. It’s a very clear sign to move on from the past if I ever seen one. Basically, if you take the guidance the cards offer you, you’ll have a change in whatever it be... You just need to close that chapter in your life you’ve been hanging onto for too long...”

He looked at the cards in his lap, taking in what the girl had told him from just those simple cards. He thought about it for a moment too before he threw the cards beside him.

“You chose those cards.” He scoffed.

“You really think I chose those cards without taking longer?!” She retorted. “The spirits chose them for you. When you say shit like that, you insult their credibility! They get mad and will get you back for it, dumbass.”

Once again, he could tell she was ticked off by her tone of voice in what she said. There was always that suffocating silence that came after that seemed to eat him inside too. Cosimia put the cards on his table, rather aggressively. Without a word, she moved away from him and open her own drawer. He didn’t look at her out of the guilt the silence made him feel. He could hear wrapping paper in her hands before she moved once more to hand him his gift over his shoulder.

“It was my mom’s...” She said. “The tarot cards are too. I hid this from you since the beginning and saved it. I thought you might be interested but maybe not.”

She left the trailer, not even sparing him a lot before she left to go get breakfast. Donghyuck was confused by the interaction. There was bitterness, but also sadness in what she said. He slowly started to rip at the green bow and the orange wrapping paper covered in little cactuses. When the paper was gone, the present was revealed to be a book. The pages were wrinkled, a cafe color with stains in them. It smelled like sweet wood too...

The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulson.

He sighed to himself as he slouched even more. Staring at the book in his hands started to make him think... Maybe Cosimia was right about moving on... or the spirits, whatever it or who was. There’s a reason he followed her all the way here...

He set the book down on his bedside table. He promised himself he’d read it later to see what it was exactly all about. He’d gotten ready for the day and walked out to the dining tent everyone was at, at that time of morning. Everyone that wasn’t there for his little surprise earlier was now wishing him a happy birthday which made him blush a bit. When he asked where his friend was, they simply pointed to the smaller blue tent right outside where the cooking was done.

He walked into the tent, the place was crowded with a bunch of people just trying to cook. Luckily, it didn’t take him long to find her in the mess. It was hard to miss the red-headed girl with her hair up in a very messy bun with the blue tent and also the checkered blue apron.

She hadn’t seen him come in as she was too busy mixing something in a bowl. All of it made it that the much easier to sneak up behind her and touch her shoulders. She jumped in shocked before she turned around, ready to hit the boy with the mixing utensil she used. The most it did was get a little batter on him though.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” She muttered. “I was about to slap the shit out of you!”

“Sorry,” He giggled. “I was just wondering... if that breakfast you and Sicheng were gonna make me is still on the table or not?”

She smiled, relaxing a bit from a moment ago, “If you can go find him for me, then yes.”

“I’ll do my best, ma’am.”

“Wait, Haechan, did you open your present?”

“Uh, yeah... I did. Thank you too.”

“Just so you know, witches aren’t necessarily bad, so don’t be scared.”

He nodded, not taking it much into consideration. After all, he did believe witches were purely fairytale villains and something stupid colonizers made up in their own heads due to fear. Though, he guessed that wasn’t the case once he started to read the book given to him later that evening after his party... They seemed to be very real and not at how people typically thought of them as. He remembered one part in particular; they’re the ones to first read tarot and all and it suddenly made sense to him.

“Cosimia,” He called, noticing she was washing the dishes but turned around anyway. “Was your mom a witch or something?”

“Yeah, she was,” She nodded. “I think she was a green witch to be exact. I remember her loving bunnies a lot and going out to the meadows too.”

“Are you a witch then?” He asked. “Is that how you have your ability?”

“No, not exactly. I don’t practice so I wouldn’t call myself one so I’m just a psychic. I’d probably be one if she stuck around though. I believe she’s the reason I can see the future, prayed to whatever god or goddess that was for. It was like she knew.”

“Goddess?”

“Witches often believe in god and goddess. Greek, Celtic whatever or all of above. Women are especially sacred, if i recall correctly. I don’t remember much, I looked into awhile ago.”

“You could’ve become one without her. It even says I can be one. Didn’t you ever want to follow in her footsteps?”

“I did, for some time. People said I was a lot like her in many ways but I guess not in that... It just wasn’t for me, it was too much.”

“What happened to her?”

“Long story short? She was run off a cliff in Oregon. I think her car is still there too actually... I’ve never seen it though which makes me believe she’s still out there somewhere. It makes wonder why she left me with my dad. I mean, why would she want any of that for me?”

She started to talk in a hushed voice, mostly to herself. It made feel bad about bringing it up in the first place. He couldn’t even make out the words she spoke but he did still wonder what happened to her at the hands of her father. He took a deep breath with his eyes closed while gripping the soft, old pages of book in his hand that was oddly comforting.

“Can I ask what he did to you exactly?” He questioned.

“I think my mom was enough for today,” She mumbled. “But I’ll tell you one day, I promise.”

“I understand,” He nodded. “Whenever you’re comfortable, you can come to me.”

She nodded back with a small smile on her face as a response. It was quiet between them for the rest of evening. Donghyuck even fell asleep on the yellow plaid couch that Kun has given them while Cosimia slept in the back.

His head was laid back on of the arms, prompting a knot in his neck he’d find painful the next day. He seem peaceful there until he started making noises in his sleep that eventually progressed into screams. They were loud enough to be heard from the back room and startle Cosimia out of her slept.

She didn’t seem to waste time running out into the living room. She saw him laying there, still struggling in his slumber with the book in his lap. She rushed over and shook him awake while saying his name. She could feel the sweat on his tan skin as he shot up gasping for air. He looked back to find her there with a concerned look on her face. He just stared into her as he had a hand on her arm that was on him. It was sudden when she sat up and brought him into a hug, even playing with his damp hair to calm him down. He clung to her as she could hear his heart still raced in his chest, faintly.

“What happened?” She murmured.

“Nightmare.” He answered.

“Hmm,” She hummed. “Do you wanna tell me what about?”

“Your father. It was like I was you trying to kill us after he finally found us...”

She seemed to freeze for a moment after he explained it simply to her. She assured him it was just a bad dream before she helped him back to the bed. There was a dream catcher that she had gotten back in Arizona, made by the Navajo around the parts they visited. She had gotten just in case things like this had arose. She hung it above the bed before they went to sleep that night just in case the nightmares wanted to come back. Though, Donghyuck didn’t want to sleep much after that night...

a/n: i’m well aware it’s almost a week after hyuck’s birthday :(( i haven’t had time to write with what’s been going on though but happy late birthday to hyuck!!

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Arranged {4}

Yahya Abdul Mateen II x OFC Nyorie Kane

Warning: Mild Cursing. Plot

Words: 2.7k

Summary: Yahya is thirty-three, and his friends and family all seem to believe that it is long overdue for him to have a wife. He’s been set up more times than he can count and with his busy schedule and rising Hollywood star, it is becoming even more difficult to meet people, well people who aren’t looking for a come up. In the beginning, he said he didn’t want anything serious; his motto was “I’m was here for a good time not a long time.” Then it became he didn’t want anything that would distract him from where he wanted to go and what he wanted to accomplish. Now that his fame is rising and he’s approaching a sweet spot in his career he decides what the hell the time might be right.

In comes “A Match”, an exclusive matchmaking company run by his best friend Ramel’s wife Tamika. He gives Tamika and Ramel free rein and all his trust to find him, someone, he’d mesh well with. Instead of going through her clientele Tamika has just the right woman in mind, her best friend, Nyorie. Things are done a little unorthodox at “A Match” though. This unconventional route is credited for a near-perfect success rate.

Note: I’ve only tagged those who have expressed to be on a forever tag list. 

***None of the images are my own***

**Loosely Proofread/Edited**

**Interactive**

Need To Catch Up?| Chapter one | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*

-Chapter Four-

Three days later he was staring at a stack of papers that was the contract agreement. Included in the agreement was also the usual fee for services. Tameka was making bank especially if this was the standard fee for every client. Among the papers was an extensive explanation of what she did, what she didn’t do, how she did what she did and what was expected. There was a code of conduct as well as termination policies. Inside the welcome packet there he found all the information about the different stages and the steps in each stage. This was very detailed and when he assessed it all, it wasn’t a completely illogical way to approach dating.

 Yes, it was absolutely nuts to agree to marry someone without seeing them, but the saying love is blind was coined for a reason. No, it probably was never meant to be taken so literal, but the truth was the same. Love was blind, love should be found and established with the purest cornerstones. His only hang-up was if this was something that was logical for him and who he was now. He wasn’t some local baker, or a teacher or even a city planner anymore. He was an actor. Now most places he went, he was recognized, approached and watched.

 Yeah he could go incognito eighty percent of the time and he was glad for it but he’d come to accept the luxuries of life before were not his luxuries now. He’d traded privacy for paparazzi, and traded clipboards for scripts. He still hadn’t gotten over the differences in his life from a year ago to today.

 The more he flipped through the papers and read them over carefully he thought more and more about what the road would look like moving forward with this. He thought about the kind of connection he would want with a woman and the likelihood of finding it like this. He went up and down and around it for what felt like hours. He talked himself into it ten times and out of it ten times. He’d even written a pros and cons list and had thrown it out and done it again too many times. By the time he’d come up with a decision he was fed up with thinking about it. He knew it was the fear of the unknown at this point. The only thing that was in his head at this point was doing the damn thing. So that’s what he told himself as he tapped out a text to Tameka.

 MSG: Let’s do it Meeka. Let’s do the damn thing!

 He shook his head and tried to shake off how ridiculous he felt. He knew he was ready for it, but he just had to get out of his head with it and allow whatever was meant for him to freely come.

 MSG Tameka: All right then. Fill out the paperwork, bring it back, fax it, courier whatever you choose. Once that’s processed we’ll start your screenings. Be mindful we’re going to be digging deep into your personality. Truthful answers are the only answers acceptable, especially if you want success.

MSG: Got it. Thank you Meeka.

MSG Tameka: You’re like my brother Ya. Anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.

 He’d known Tameka for over ten years. They were similar. In the beginning stages of Ramel’s relationship, he took it upon himself to get to know her to be sure she was right for his best friend. It didn’t take him long to be convinced she would be a good fit for Ramel. Since then they’d gotten closer and she really had turned into someone he considered a sister.

 He sat there in his living room filling out the first page of information.

 “Name; Yahya Abdul Mateen II. Nicknames; Ya, Hya. Date of Birth; July 15, 1986. Gender; grade A man baby. Family; mother and one brother, four sisters. Ethnicity and Race; Black and Proud. Height; six-three. Religion; Muslim. Gender you are seeking; female. Marital Status; Single. Income.” 

It was there he first paused as he tried to think of a response. Was he supposed to put his current net worth, what he had in the bank, what he was averaging per movie? He was probably thinking about too deeply, but he didn’t know what to put, so he put something basic and carried on.

 “Comfortable.” As he got to the second page it got a little more personal. There was a question asking about his family history then another inquiring about his blood type. After that, it went into physical illnesses or mental illnesses. When he saw the big leap from there to asking about communicable diseases he blinked because it wasn’t even page six and already things were getting real.

 He spent the next forty minutes or so answering the second, third and fourth pages that asked everything from STDs to medications currently taking. It was pretty detailed which he understood. These were important questions to know before matching someone. He zoomed through the questions about the reason for his decision for matching, and what his expectations were. He’d set the bar pretty low. He wasn’t sure what to expect so he decided to expect nothing spectacular. You can’t be disappointed if you never really set your hopes up, right?

By page six the real hard-hitting questions began. “What are you looking for in an ideal match?” He thought it would be a difficult question, thought he would have no idea what to write but that wasn’t the case. He found himself writing away. 

“A woman who is down to earth, funny, honest and smart. A woman who knows what she wants from life and isn’t afraid to go out and get it. a woman who is caring, understanding, passionate, supportive, ambitious. Someone who is silly and has a silly sense of humor and doesn’t take themselves seriously. Confidence is major for me, someone who loves music as much as I do, has a great attitude, positive, classy but definitely kinda hood.”

 He reread it and nodded his approval and continued.

 “What’s your type?” A wide smile spread across his face because he knew his type. He’d imagined her several times over the months. “Curvy and thick in all the right places, meat on the bones, beautiful lips, expressive eyes, nice smile, shorter than me, fashionable, black and proud in everything that means.”

 Thinking about his ideal woman and had him thinking what if Tameka actually pulled it off and found someone that was just right. What if in a few weeks his ass found a wife and not just another ex. That tripped him up and had him stepping away from the paperwork for a few minutes to collect himself and his thoughts with a glass of Henny. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready, or he was reluctant for change, it was the reality of a possibility.

 When he returned to the papers he earnestly answered the remainder of the questions that ranged from a full six pages about him and his dreams, wants, desires and another six pages about his ideal mate and what he would want her dreams, wants and desires to be. When he was finally finished it was almost three in the morning and he was exhausted. He’d felt like he’d done a mental marathon. There were questions in this packet he hadn’t thought about in years and at all. he took that as a good sign. The more in-depth the questions the better the outcome, right?

  ~~~~~~~~~

A day later he was sitting in an office with a couple Tameka introduced as Dr. Rachel Abramson and Dr. Martin Abramson. They were in charge of mental and emotional screening and preparedness. His first impression was that he would sit in a comfy chair and discuss his thoughts and feelings about beginning the process. For the first hour that is exactly what happened. They had him begin and assured him now was the time to get all his questions out. So, since they wanted him to ask questions he did.

 “Are the two of you really that good to have so many success stories? There has to be one story of complete failure.”

 The two of them looked at each other and then back to him before they busted out laughing. After a few moments, they finished and Martin spoke first.

 “Tameka said you’d be a little apprehensive about the process.”

 “She sure wasn’t lying,” Rachel added.

 “Ha-ha-ha, very funny. You can’t blame me, can you? This is pretty peculiar.”

 “Okay here’s the thing. On a scale of normal and insane, this is insane when you think of it from a societal norm perspective. We’ve all been taught and conditioned that we have to do things one way in order to find the love and happiness we want and deserve. So we go our entire lives on this hamster wheel trying it over and over and over no matter how many times we fail. No matter how many times we don’t find that love or happiness we want but heartache or loneliness. At what point do you change your perspective? At what point do you start to wonder what are societal norms doing for me? Here we’re changing up the norms. There is no reason why a different approach cannot work,” Rachel finished.

 “We’re doing a different approach for the same goal. The only difference is our approach actually works and it continues to work. We’re that good at what we do because of the process and the screenings, these chats. We now know you want to be a believer, but you have to be shown the way. That will go into your profile and into the decision for those we cross with you for a match,” Martin explained.

 Taking a few moments for their words to register he nodded then shrugged. “All right. I’m here. Let’s do it.”

 That was when they began to dig deeper pulling him to talk about his entire life story, relieve every decision he’d ever made, every experience. He thought about things he hadn’t thought about in years. They had a way of bringing deeper meaning to his experiences, his struggles. They gave him worst-case scenarios and stressful situations, questioned his decisions in relationships and life. They dissected everything and the whole time they wrote note after note and exchanged look after look. After another two hours, he realized just how deep this process got. He felt like he’d just gone through the most extensive counseling session he’d ever had.

 “How do you feel?” Tameka studied him with a slight “yikes” face.

 “Damn that was intense.”

 “Yeah, Rachel and Martin really get in there and tear you apart and put you under a microscope then put you back together. Usually, everyone who sees them says they feel refreshed leaving.”

 “Refreshed? Meeka I feel like I just got a soul cavity search.” She laughed and shook her head.

 “Boy, you so stupid. Seriously, it’s all right. It’s like this for everyone,” she assured.

 “Are all screenings like this?”

 “I wouldn’t say that. This one usually puts everyone through a wringer, you’re facing a lot of things, it makes you doubt yourself; it’s supposed to. It’s part of the process. The worst is behind you. You have three more screenings and then we’ll move on to the fun stuff.”

 “What exactly is the fun stuff?”

 Tameka smiled widely and zipped her lips. He didn’t have a good feeling about whatever it was she was talking about.

 Sure enough, four days later he’d felt like he’d actually gone through the wringer. He’d completed the following screenings that focused on his potential mate love languages and expectations, and sexual expectations and intelligence. It was definitely an intricate process. From what he could tell those he’d dealt with really knew what they were doing.

 After a quick trip to New York for work and a trip with his brother and sister to Vegas for some downtime, gambling and silliness he felt refreshed. 

Today he dribbled the ball around the court with Ramel and crew he tried to keep his mind off of things. Tameka said they would go through his responses and screenings and put together a complete assessment that they would then use to go through their database of potential women he would mesh well with. He knew the processes couldn’t be rushed but he was getting a little anxious after three days and no notification on the status.

 He was a little off his game and Rashawn was taking advantage of that. He stole the ball and dropped a perfect fadeaway bucket. He stood there shaking his head.

 “What the hell has got your mind so outta the game you let Rashawn of all people steal your ball?”

 They laughed at him together and he had to admit he deserved it. He walked to the sideline and dropped onto one of the bleachers. His boys sat around him taking sips of their water.

 “Is this about this matchmaking?”

 Rashawn and Tyrell both sounded off. “Hold up, matchmaking? Are you getting set up?”

 Dropping his head back he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t want them all to know in case it didn’t work out and he was in fact unmatchable.

 “Yeah, I was trying something different, thought why not.”

 “Okay. We didn’t even know you wanted someone. Why you ain’t say something?”

 He shrugged and rolled his head around. “No reason.”

 “So that’s why your jump shot is shit and your ball handling is even worse,” Tyrell chided. He laughed at the insult to injury, he was already feeling like crap.

 “Man kick me while I’m down. Great.”

 “Leave him alone. Tameka’s process is tough. In the early days when she was giving me the run down, she blew my mind with how detailed everything is,” Ramel defended.

 “Right. Damn, I had no idea. After four days I felt like she’d unlocked a whole nother level to my personality I didn’t even know I had.” They all laughed but he wasn’t joking. He was woke before but now he was third eye woke.

 “So you’re waiting for results now?”

 “I’m waiting for them to finish analyzing my assessments. I think they’re screening me with potentials. I don’t even know.”

 “You ready to meet someone? I mean you could have yourself a girl in a month’s time,” Rashawn voiced.

 “He could have himself more than a girl in three months’ time,” Ramel corrected.

 “Yeah, I’m ready. The interesting thing is throughout the whole process of them analyzing me and asking me every question ever invented it had me really seeing how empty my life has been and how stuck I was. It opened my eyes to show me what I had to offer and that I was ready to offer it.”

 They all nodded fulling understanding what he meant. He was glad he wasn’t friends with men who ran from commitments and dogged out their women. He was glad he was surrounded by levelheaded mature men who sometimes acted like complete idiots behind their wives’ backs.

 “Well, I hope Tameka can work some miracle because it will have to be one hell of a woman who keeps your attention cause God knows you got that ADD,” Tyrell piped up.

 Again, they all laughed together, at his expense.

 A few more days passed with him working even more. He went on more and more auditions and his name was being kicked around quite a lot. According to his agent and manager, his name was brought up a lot for different projects. The ones that had him super excited was the fourth installment to The Matrix and a Candyman remake. He grew up on Candyman and damn near tripped down the steps when he’d read the email about it.

 The days passed quickly, and he traveled between NY, Miami and LA all for auditions, meetings, interviews, and photoshoots. he was busy but in the back of his mind, he wondered where he was in the process with A Match. The longer he went without hearing something, the more he worried that he was unmatchable.

 As he was pulling into LAX from his recent trip to London Tameka’s message caught him off guard.

 MSG Tameka: Great news. When can you come in?

 His nerves went into high gear as one thing repeated in his head.

 “So it begins.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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