#and when everything is cool and everyone is nice to me and glad I’m home

[an1malcannibal]

Guys I don’t think my anxiety ever went away I think that it just moved itself and got worse.

[flickering-chandelier]

Snow on the Beach

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: As soon as Cassian and Reader run into each other, she feels the bond snap into place. But feeling unworthy next to the famed Cassian, she keeps it to herself, assuming that he would never find out the truth. Before long, she finds that she was very wrong.

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: insecure reader

Word Count: 4k

While walking Nyx to school on an early autumn morning, Cassian was certainly glad that the Illyrian soldiers could keep themselves in line for a day or two, giving him a respite to come home to Velaris and spend time with his nephew. It seemed to him that the boy was growing up far too fast; he could hardly believe that he was already in school. 

“So kid,” Cassian said, gently steering Nyx away from the street with a hand on his back, “tell me about school. Have you made any friends?"

Little Nyx grinned. “Yeah!”

“I bet the other kids think it’s cool that your parents are the High Lord and Lady, huh?”

He nodded, “At first, they all thought it was really cool. I think they’re getting used to it now, though. Now everyone is talking about how Astrid’s mom opened that new restaurant by the rainbow.”

Cassian laughed, unable to resist ruffling Nyx’s hair. “Well, they do have good food.”

Nyx agreed, and Cassian took the tiny hand in his own once the boy started veering toward the street again. “Do you like your teacher?” 

“She’s really nice,” he said. “She barely even gives us any homework.”

“Now, that’s a good teacher,” Cassian agreed. 

Nyx chatted idly with Cassian until they got to school.

Cassian was surprised to see a beautiful young woman standing near the front door, greeting the kids as they filtered in through the building. 

You smiled at Nyx as he and Cassian approached. “Good morning, Nyx! Who did you bring with you today?”

“This is my uncle Cassian,” Nyx said proudly, before turning back to Cassian and informing him, “This is my teacher!”

Teachers did not look like that when I was in school, Cassian thought. 

“Hi,” Cassian smiled, extending his hand. You took it, your eyes widening slightly when your hand touched his. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said. Cassian thought you sounded a bit out of breath. “Are you picking Nyx up today?”

Cassian said, “I am,” and was suddenly very glad for it. 

You nodded, still looking somewhat dazed. “Okay, we’ll see you this afternoon then.”

Nyx said goodbye and bounded into the building, but Cassian couldn’t help but feel like something was off. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You look… a little pale, maybe?"

“I’m fine,” you said hurriedly. “Thank you.”

Cassian nodded. “Okay. Good.” Cauldron, why was he flustered now? “This afternoon, then. Have a good day. Good luck with the little ones.”

You laughed, thanking him, before Cassian turned away. 

---

You could hardly breathe. And he had known it too, which made everything so much worse. 

The last thing you were expecting today was to meet your mate three minutes before school started. 

Cauldron. How could the Cassian be your mate?

You were fairly sure you recognized him as he was walking up, but didn’t want to assume. The High Lord and his inner circle were well known here, of course, but you had never met any of them besides Rhysand and Feyre, and that was only because Nyx was in your class.

Cassian was unlike any male you’d ever seen before. His biceps were the size of your head. He could snap you in half like it was nothing. And yet he was holding little Nyx’s hand in his, walking him to school. 

Gods.

You were nervous enough about having the High Lord’s son in your class, but then a member of his trusted inner circle shows up, touches your hand, and the bond snaps into place?

And just like that, the commander of the High Lord’s army, the one that they’ve written entire books about, was your mate. 

Yet, here you were, teaching arithmetic to a classroom full of tiny children.

It didn’t make sense. You had never heard of the Mother making mistakes before, but surely this was one. Why would someone that powerful have a schoolteacher for a mate?

Cassian didn’t seem to feel it when you had. Surely you would have noticed if it had snapped for him at the same time. 

So, he didn’t know. And you figured it was better to keep it that way. You would sound foolish, telling this war hero that you were his mate. 

And it wasn’t likely that you would see him again after today, anyway. 

You just had to get through the day, and pretend that everything was normal. 

By the time parents were back picking up their kids, you had managed to put Cassian out of your mind. 

That is, until he showed up again, his massive wings tucked in closely behind him, his shirt spread tightly across his chest and his arms. Your heart leaped as you watched him make his way to the door. 

Your mate. He was yours. Or at least the Mother thought he should be. 

He smiled brightly when he saw you, and you immediately felt a pull on that invisible string that tied you to him. 

It was an effort to steady your breathing when he finally stood in front of you. 

Before you could say anything, one of your students ran into your legs from behind at full speed, causing you to stagger forward, into Cassian. He steadied you, his strong hands holding your waist, as your own hands involuntarily came to rest on his broad chest. 

Cassian looked into your eyes for a moment, the side of his mouth tugging up into a smile. You got lost in him for a moment, in those hazel eyes that you felt you could see the world in. 

Thankfully, you finally remembered where you were, and turned around and narrowed your eyes at your student. “Jan, buddy, we’ve talked about this.”

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, taking a step back. “I forgot.”

“I know you did, it’s okay,” you said, gently patting his back. “Why don’t you go play until your dad gets here, okay?” 

You turned back to Cassian as he happily scampered off. Cassian’s eyes were bright as he smiled at you. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?” you asked, tilting your head slightly. 

He laughed, gesturing around, to the dozens of squealing children. “This. Stay so calm, being in charge of all these kids while they’re yelling and knocking into you.”

You shrugged, unable to keep the smile off your face, being so close to him. “It’s not that bad. It’s nothing like what you do.”

Cassian smiled, glancing around at the chaos that surrounded you both. “Well, you might be surprised.” His gaze landed back on you and you felt it like a shock down to your toes. “If you ever want to help me out with the Ilyrians, let me know. You might be better at keeping them in line than I am.”

“I highly doubt that,” you laughed. “With kids, you just need to give them a snack and they’ll love you forever.”

He pursed his lips slightly, seemingly thinking this over. “I might have to try that.”

You laughed. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Promise,” he smirked. 

In that moment, you knew you could spend all day looking at him and never get bored. It scared you, that thought. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall for him. There was no possible outcome that wouldn’t break your heart.

You cleared your throat, taking half a step back. “You’ll probably want to find Nyx.”

He nodded, as if he too had forgotten why he was actually there. 

As if on cue, Nyx bounded up, throwing his arms around Cassian’s legs. “Uncle Cassian!”

Cassian grinned down at him. “Hey, kid. Were you good for your teacher today?”

Nyx smiled shyly. “Yes.”

Cassian turned back to you, raising an eyebrow in question. 

You smiled, nodding. “He was.”

“Good,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s hair, before turning his attention back to you. “I’ll see you around?”

You nodded, though you doubted you would see him again. You tried not to dwell on that, on the fact that you had finally, finally found your mate, and you knew deep down that you could never have him. 

Cassian glanced back over his shoulder, smiling at you once more after he had left and your heart missed a beat. 

You desperately hoped that you would be able to go back to your real life, to forget about him.

---

Cassian couldn’t get you out of his mind after that day. The way you were looking at him… 

Maybe it was just that you recognized him. You certainly weren’t the only woman who had looked up at him with big doe eyes. 

So, why couldn’t he stop thinking about you?

It wasn’t just that though, he knew, as you danced around his mind once again. You were clearly incredibly kind and sweet. And you were funny. 

He found himself smiling as he thought about you, and schooled his features back into his stern, commanding expression as he focused his attention back onto the warriors training in front of him. 

But before long, he was thinking of you again, wondering what kind of snack would make the stubborn, bull headed Illyrians slightly less annoying to work with. 

He would just have to focus, he told himself, until he could see you again. 

Rhysand had given him a questioning look when he had asked to take Nyx to school again, but agreed. 

It had only been a few days, but he was already itching to see you again.

He wondered if it was possible that you felt the same way. 

---

Before school, you always took it upon yourself to usher idle children into the building, making sure they got where they needed to be while parents were busy dropping them off and making plans for pick up. 

When you caught a glimpse of massive, outstretched wings, you felt a shock spark through your entire body.

Again? He was really dropping Nyx off again? 

It had only been a few days since you had last seen him. Not nearly enough time to catch your breath, to force thoughts of him out of your mind. 

That tug in your chest, that string urging you closer to him, was relentless. 

You understood now, how people had been driven to madness after their mating bond had been rejected. It took everything you had in you to stay put, to keep yourself from running to him. 

His bright smile as he approached, his eyes locked on yours, made your heart hurt. 

“Hey,” he said, ushering Nyx into the building with a gentle nudge. 

“Hi,” you said quietly, noticing now that nearly everyone had already gone inside or left. You were alone with Cassian. 

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. Was he… nervous?

“So,” he said, then laughed lightly, turning his face to the mountains surrounding the city, scratching the back of his neck.

“Cassian?” You asked, confused, and honestly, slightly impatient. You only had a few minutes to get to your class.

He leveled his gaze back to you again, his eyes twinkling in the sun. “Do you want to get dinner?” 

That had not been what you were expecting, and you felt like your breath was completely caught in your throat. 

Cassian seemed to take your surprise for something else because he started talking again, quickly, like he couldn't get it out fast enough, “Unless you don't want to. It's not a big deal, I was just thinking --”

“Yes,” you cut him off, and he looked relieved, his taut shoulders visibly relaxing.

“You're sure?”

You couldn't keep the smile off your face. “Very sure.”

His face lit up with a grin then, and you had to bite your lip to keep from grinning yourself. You balled your hands into fists at your sides, worried that if you didn't, you would launch yourself at him.

The two of you agreed on a time and a place, and then he was off, and you once again, had to go teach a classroom full of kids as if nothing remarkable had just happened.

By the time dinner with Cassian rolled around, you had convinced yourself that it was definitely not a date. Probably. 

Just… casual dinner between two people who barely knew each other. Acquaintances went out for dinner all the time, right? 

You forced yourself to take a deep breath as you waited outside the restaurant, your fingers toying with the hem of your dress that you had finally decided on, after trying on nearly every piece of clothing that you owned. 

It was a habit of yours to always arrive early, and yet, you only waited a few minutes before Cassian sauntered up to you, like he didn’t have a care in the world. For about the millionth time, you wondered how it was possible that the two of you had been chosen as mates. You couldn’t be more different. 

Cassian’s smile was bright when he was finally towering over you, greeting you with the usual pleasantries before placing his hand on the small of your back and leading you inside. 

Your heart pounded in your chest at the contact. He hadn’t touched you since that first handshake, the touch that made the bond snap into place for you, like nothing you had ever felt before. 

You wondered if it would do the same for him someday. What would his reaction be if he knew?

Disappointed, surely. Confused. Upset?

It was one thing to ask someone to dinner, but to be mates? To be tethered to somebody for life? You suddenly couldn’t bear the thought of him finding out. 

Your mind was spinning by the time the two of you took your seats, and his brow furrowed in concern as his gaze settled on you. “Are you alright?”

You tried to brighten your expression, cursing your face for always being so easy to read. “Fine,” you said, and the smile became easier, more genuine, the longer that you looked at him. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, I guess. It’s hard to shut it off.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I understand. Do you want to talk about it?” 

You winced. “Not really. It’s not that interesting, anyway,” you said, waving a hand dismissively. “How are you?” you asked, before you could accidentally reveal something you would regret. 

The corner of his mouth turned up into a small smile, his gaze locked on you. “Why do you do that? Dismiss yourself so casually?”

“What do you mean?”

“You act like what you do isn’t important, or like your feelings don’t matter.” He leaned in closer, bracing his forearms on the table in front of him. “But it’s not true. You have one of the most important jobs… ever. And from what I can tell, you’re really good at it.” 

He relaxed his stance, leaning back in his chair again, his eyes never wavering from yours. “You don’t have to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you. But, I won’t let you act like it doesn’t matter, because it does.”

Stunned, you opened your mouth, completely unable to form a response. How could he read you so clearly? And why did he care so much?

Finally, all you could say was, “You don’t even know me.”

Cassian’s smile grew slowly. “I know enough. And I’d like to know more.”

The look on his face, the gravel in his voice, the words that he spoke, made heat rush to your cheeks. His smile only widened. 

“What do you want to know?”

---

Cassian couldn’t wipe the grin off his face after that date with you. You had talked for ages, the two of you, and he didn’t think he had ever been so enamored by somebody. You told him all about your family, your friends, how you grew up, your favorite hideout in Velaris, when you just needed to get away from it all. And he had done the same, admittedly, showing off a little with stories from being in Rhysand's trusted inner circle. 

But you didn’t fawn over him like some women did. You sat and listened, your eyes widening at all the right times, but it was like you really saw him. Not the version of him that people talk about in battle, but just… Cassian. 

And he really liked that. 

For weeks, you had consumed his every waking thought and, frankly, several of his dreams. The way you blushed when he smiled at you, the slight tilt of your head when you watched him animatedly tell stories, the way your eyes lit up when you saw him… all of it was driving him completely mad. He saw you as much as he could in those weeks, and though you seemed reluctant to show it, he could tell that you were excited to see him, too. 

Winter was almost upon Velaris, and the air was crisp, but the sun was bright as Cassian sauntered up to the school, hoping that your afternoon was free and he could steal you away for lunch. 

The sun's rays were shining on you like a beacon and he couldn't help but stare as you crouched down to be face to face with a kid, your smile bright as you undoubtedly said something encouraging to him. 

In that moment, he felt like the ground was swaying beneath him as the bond snapped into place.

The bond that tethered you to him, that confirmed what he had been feeling all these weeks, that proved you were meant to be his. 

For a moment, he was ecstatic, but that moment ended quickly as he suddenly remembered that first time you met, the way your eyes widened in shock as he touched you for the first time… you knew. You had known this whole time and you hadn't told him.

Did you not want to be his mate? Did you think it was a bad match? If that were the case, why on earth had you been spending so much time with him?

He stood frozen in place until the crowd of parents and kids had mostly cleared, his thoughts whirling.

Your eyes lit up when you noticed Cassian, but your face fell when you noticed his expression.

He could tell that you figured it out. That he knew. And that he knew you knew.

His heart broke as your eyes flooded with panic, and you turned from him, hurrying away without another glance.

Cassian followed, half debating flying above the city so he could see easier where you were going.

But before long, he knew your destination anyway.

You had told him weeks ago about the beach that you often went to when you needed to clear your head.

When he approached, you were sitting facing the river, your arms wrapped around yourself. The rocks beneath his boots cracked together and alerted you immediately to his presence, but you didn't turn around. 

He sat next to you, wincing a bit as a rock dug into his thigh, careful to tuck his wings in so they wouldn't brush against you.

Your eyes remained on the water for a few moments, a storm inside them. 

Finally, Cassian said, “Why didn't you tell me?”

Thinking, you bit your lip, and despite everything, it made his heart swell. 

“I didn't think you would want to know,” you said, your voice small.

It took an effort not to physically reel back like you had slapped him. He fought to keep his voice calm. “Why not?"

You let out a humorless laugh, still not so much as glancing in his direction. “Why do you think?”

Cassian furrowed his brow, wracking his brain for any indication he may have accidentally given you that would make you think he wouldn't want to be your mate, but he came up with nothing. “I don't know,” he finally said. “Did I do something?”

Your eyes finally met his then, and he felt the urge to cry for the first time in centuries. You looked so defeated, so pained. What had he done to make you react this way?

“No, it's not that, it's…” you bit your lip, your brow furrowed as you held his gaze. “Cassian, you're a warrior. You're in charge of armies, you're one of the most powerful Illyrians of all time, you've literally made history. And I'm…” you gestured to yourself, “I'm nothing compared to you.” You shook your head, facing the water again. “I hid it from you because it doesn't make sense. It must be a mistake.”

Cassian's heart pounded in his ears as he tried to make sense of it. “How could you think it's a mistake?” He said, his voice wavering, but he pushed past it. “How could you think that way about yourself?”

His heart broke when he heard you sniffle, still avoiding his gaze.

Gently, he took your chin between his fingers and urged you to look at him. “It's not a mistake,” he said quietly. “I haven't been able to get you out of my head since the moment I saw you. Do you know why?”

Your bottom lip trembled and you shook your head as much as you could while he was still holding your chin.

“You're incredible. You're endlessly kind and patient. You dedicate your life to helping kids and teaching them how to be who they're meant to be. There wouldn't be armies to lead or healers to fix us after battle, or anything else, if we didn't have teachers leading us along the way.”

Your eyes softened then, and Cassian nearly sighed with relief but he kept pushing, to be sure you would believe what he was telling you. “And gods, you're beautiful,” he smiled, stroking his thumb across your bottom lip. “You drive me crazy.”

A laugh bubbled from your throat and his heart leaped. He shifted his hands so they were cupping your face. “We're meant to be together, you and me. It's not a mistake. And I don't want to hear you talk about yourself like that again.”

You nodded, smiling, looking up at Cassian with stars in your eyes. “I just can't believe you want me.”

“Well, believe it, because it's true,” he murmured, leaning in so his lips brushed the shell of your ear, “I want you more than I've ever wanted anything.”

He felt your breath hitch, and just then it started to snow lightly, the small flakes sticking to your eyelashes and in your hair.

“I want you too, Cassian,” you said quietly before cupping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him closer, bringing your lips to his.

Cassian couldn't stop his groan as he pulled you closer, kissing you the way he'd been wanting to for weeks.

When you finally parted to catch your breath, he pulled you to his side, and you rested your head on his shoulder as the two of you looked out across the water, the snow still gently drifting down.

It didn't feel real, that he had finally found his mate, the one he was meant to be with. And it was you, who had been consuming his thoughts since the moment you met.

He felt so, so unbelievably lucky and he prayed that you felt the same way about him.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @ecliphttlunar @melmo567 @headacheseason @sillysillygoose444 @halibshepherd @cigvrette-dvydrevms @lilah-asteria @marina468 @evergreenlark @bookloverandalsocats @yourqueenlilith @mariamay02 @azrielshadows1nger @andreperez11

[cabinseventheaterchick]

BLOG NEWS: Check back later!

I now run a Riordanverse roleplay Tumblr Community! Everyone is welcome!

Kat if she had a Wikipedia page (her lore summarized)

Portrait done by the incredibly talented @apollos-coolest-child

Oh, hi! Didn’t see you see there. I’m Kat Carter!

Okay, lemme think… I’m fifteen, daughter of Apollo currently at Camp Half-Blood with my homies <3

When I’m not at camp, NYC is my home base. You can probably find me in Apollo cabin: practicing monologues/songs, playing matchmaker (it’s not just for Aphrodite kids!), or staging a kitchen coup d’état so I can bake something delicious.

he gets his own category:

@ellis--wakefield — my boyfriend <333

he’s really cute and he’s great at capture the flag and he’s nice to the newbies and damn he’s just idk how to even describe him ‘cause words cannot

Former… um… let’s just say people I used to know:

@lukemessedup — Good boss, bad business

@lieutenant-of-kronos — I regret letting him convince me to join up but he’s a nice guy.

@alabaster-c-t — Yep. You read that right. Bro is apparently not dead, nor has ever been.

@the-song-of-the-moon — We’re starting an ex-Titan Army therapy group together :3

Uncle Kronos (links to the Wayback Machine of the first version) — Literally cannot believe I wrote this. Uncle Kronos was a good person. I think I’ll always miss him, but I’m glad he found peace. Here’s to you, Uncle K.

@existence-is-pain-ahhhhhhhh — need I say more? He’s awesome. Case closed.

@the-better-castellan — new addition to the List Of People Who Aren’t Dead After All! They’re cool trust me

@peyton-is-cool — I missed him loads. Thank the gods he’s safe—he’s been in Texas? I guess?

Totally irresponsible pseudo-father to half of CHB (he does actually care about campers but he’s got a reputation to uphold):

@dionysus-god-of-all-things-wine

My fellow campers, love y’all:

@thanatoss-favorite-demigod — best murder road trip buddy a gal could ask for

@thehadescabincounsler — I’ve adopted them into Apollo cabin. They’re now officially an honorary child of the Sun Dude.

@thatonebitheaterkid — my sibling. too many pets (affectionate)

@that-dam-daughter-of-poseidon — my absolute bestie <3

@poseidons-favourite-daughter — training together ⚔️! She’s so sweet and a year rounder so I won’t be alone come fall

@yes-im-a-daughter-of-hades — she just got back from Tartarus, so you know what that means!… binge watching everything pop culture. Phineas and Ferb say what?

@lady-ariadne-of-milan — my coolest big sister. Be nice, she’s been trapped as a flower since, like, the Renaissance.

@bill-son-of-boreas — Ayyy! My Norwegian bestie!

@internal-bloodshed — I’m like ninety percent sure he wants me dead. If I step a toe out of line and hurt Ellis, my body will apparently never be found.

@the-better-stoll-brother — If anyone messes with him one more time I’m throwing hands.

Shoot me an ask, camp can get kinda boring!

(Psst. My general tag is #kat carter on the case, and my lore tag is #from the archives of kat carter)

(Extra psst. Do you want more Kat Carter content without actually having to roleplay? Send me an ask by picking something from my tag #ask game!)

[cupidscrule]

BLACK CAT

Leon X Fem! reader

P in V, smut

[ no tw, vanillaish idk ]

1.2k wrd

”Woah, woah, slow down” Leon chuckled as you started explaining another cool story to him.

Your relationship was like the definition of a black cat and a golden retriever. You always have so much energy and are nice to almost everyone. Leon on the other hand is a tough agent who doesn’t really enjoy showing much emotion. He’s pretty stern towards others— but his softspot for you is clear.

”Okay, i’m listening. Tell me” He said while you were walking together with your fingers interlocked.

"okay okay! So THEN after Fluttershy wrote an entire song, rainbow dash just decides to throw it out? Ugh she's such a bitch. Don't you agree? I mean her friend went through all the trouble to try and get them to win the battle of the bands but she's so selfish.." you said, going on about a children's movie. You loved cute things, hello kitty, my little pony, really anything a 12 year old girl would be obsessed with, wearing cute little outfits and rambling about pointless stuff. But hey it made you happy and Leon thought it was adorable

"Mhm, yeah, so selfish" Leon couldn’t help but chuckle a little about how into the movie she was. by now he knew EVERYTHING about these stupid colourful horses, rainbowdash, fluttershy, twilight, pinkie, apple jack, list goes on. Honestly from what he knew rarity seemed like the best- I mean she was a boss bitch.

He found the whole thing pretty amusing, you were just so excited about it and he’s glad you have stuff you're so.. passionate about

"I mean, it would probably get annoying if her friend just wasted all that effort right? " He said trying to show his interest in her story.

"exactly! Ugh finally you get it" you said smiling up to him, leaning closer into his side as you two walked down back home, it was a long day. Like REALLY long, you took Leon shopping, got your nails done, bought some new skirts, and a new album. All that sort of stuff, but y'know dragging Leon aside you cause someone had to carry the shit, you were gettin really close to the outside of your house, skipping beside Leon holding hands. Life was like a dream.

But the long day out had Leon pretty tired— he had to drag a lot of your stuff around and you insisted they go to multiple stores (you tried to be nice and let him pick something out but he was too tired and grumpy, I know right such a dick head?)

When you were about to arrive home, he looked at you as you skipped around excitedly and smiled softly. Despite what he’s put through, he can’t deny that he finds your behavior adorable.

He squeezed your hand and chuckled a little before you guys got in front of your door.

"Oo Leon tomorrow we should watch rainbow rocks, then you'll understand what I'm talking about better" you say giggling as you step into your house, taking off your little boots and walking away from Leon plopping your ass on the leather sofa, even if you were like if you gave a six year old crack mixed with sour gummy worms even you could get kinda tired. Right, ain't that surprising? Little princess bitch face getting tired, after crawling over Leon like a little kid and skipping everywhere, runnin, jumping, god doing everything known to fucken man kind

“don’t know if we’ll have the time because of..” Leon muttered under his breath, he didn’t want to upset you and ruin your mood when you’re so excited.

He walked over to the couch and sat beside you silently and just observed you as you started talking about the movie. He placed a hand over your thigh, brushing up and down just silently smiling hearing you decribe your weird ass fictional horse people argue with other creatures from mythology, honestly sometimes he wondered if you needed to be checked into a mental hospital. Little grippy sock princess

“Wellll, maybe we can watch it tomorrow..” He shrugged. “I mean, i’ll do anything you want” Leon chuckled looking over at you.

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him, his body was pretty warm given how hot the day was and his arm was pretty comfortable.

He kissed you forehead before wrapping his other arm around you, squeezing you a little. You loved when he was affectionate, but not in a creepy way, a cute way. But after a long day a girl can get a bit needy, like sue me but when you have a hot ass man cradling you and taking you everywhere, GOD it's like an angel is sent from heaven to fuck you. But fuck you in a good homemade porno way, not one of thoes shitty ones with a whole plotline. Just straight raw fucking

You turn around, breaking his grip on you before climbing onto his lap, placing yourself onto his thigh "Woah Woah, calm down- y'know I'm tire-" he was trying to speak, silly men. You land a big fat kiss on his lips to shut him up, slowly moving yourself on his thigh, pulling away from him getting a breath, saliva dripping down your face like an animal, staring at him in the eyes, his face slightly shocked you made the first move. But you felt something perk up, bingo. Always know what can make your man want ya

"God I can't just stare at your handsome face and do nothing-" you mutter under your breath, pushing yourself closer into him, kissing his face like a big ol' dog, your free hand finding its way to his jean zipper, undoing it his fat dick springing up, he grabs you by your hips, pulling your panties aside, slapping you onto his cock, a groan coming from his lips, honestly didn't expect the day to end like this, went from talkin ponies to getting your brains fucked out. Like a good girl you ride him, his hands are placed on your hips moving you at a decent pase, bit fast but he did do A LOT of work today, guess he deserves it. Nothing else in the world matters right now, euphoric feeling, he thrusted up into you, taking one hand off your hip and grabbing your face, making you look at him, god his eyes make you MELT. He could take care of you, he was real nice with it. He groped your tits sometimes in public, but just made you love him more.

You're at your high, he knows that. Few more thrusts and you whine, feeling your body melt like butter, your weight collapses onto him, but he's not done practically druling on him, limp body he keeps fucken like a doll, if you still have a tight pussy thats all that matters, few moments and he finishes, pressing you down onto him, filling your cervix, still collapsed on him both of you breathen all heavy. "So babydoll, what happened next?" He groaned, a sly ass smirk on his face. "Mm that cunt rainbow got put in her place and they play fluttershys song" you mutter, pushing on his fat chest, rollin off him like a little kid, pussy dripping. His pants stained with you, and a heavy chest.

"I wanna-"

"No"

"Pleaseee"

[undead-supernova]

HIGH TOLERANCE

Volcano Vaporizer / Masterlist

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

warnings: weed consumption, Steve (derogatory) (not to me, but in this canon sorry), jealous!reader out the whazoo, puke, drinking, horny thoughts, Annie Lennox's (Eurythmics) incredible song "Love Is a Stranger"

pairings: bestfriend!modern!eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: it's everyone's downfall to desire jealousy to go both ways, isn't it?

wc: 5.8k

“What’re you up to?”

“Since you last asked me five minutes ago?”

“Yup.”

“Still trying to fix my toilet.” Eddie heard a bang. “Ow!”

“You good?”

“Just hit my head again. No big deal.”

Eddie laughed, shaking his head. “I could’ve done it for you if you just, you know, asked.”

“You’re on your break and I kinda need to pee, you know.”

Eddie looked down at his BLT, arms smeared with grease. No amount of soap could take everything off, especially in his brown coveralls. (Plus, his black nail polish had almost been obliterated within the first hour of his shift.) (It was devastating.) He was reclined in the front seat of his van, legs stretched out against the passenger seat, the one he tried not to picture you in.

He thought about his uncle Wayne, how he would’ve been more than happy to come fix whatever the fuck you needed if he had moved here like Eddie wanted. Wayne just didn’t like how big it was, how daunting it would be to start that process over of getting a new home and a new job. It was something Eddie assured him wouldn’t be so bad, but Wayne merely shook his head and told him that he preferred the comfort of Hawkins. Though, Eddie wasn’t so sure if Hawkins and comfort really went together.

Wayne accidentally met you once, two years ago. He’d come for his first (and only) visit. You had accidentally fallen asleep the night before after binge watching Ted Lasso. And to be clear, you fell asleep on Eddie’s bed, not his couch. And to be fair, Eddie really thought you’d be gone by the time they got back from the airport. 

But when he went to show Wayne his bedroom and found you scrolling on your phone… Well.

You introduced yourself and made breakfast. Breakfast. You stayed through your horrible embarrassment in Eddie’s shirt (and boxers) and cooked for everyone. It had gone well, but after you left Eddie had to beg Wayne to believe him that you were just friends.

Even then, there was no way Wayne didn’t already know what Eddie was too scared to say aloud.

“I could always send someone.”

“Who?”

Eddie thought about it but ultimately came up short. “Uh, I don’t know. Someone.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “No, thanks. I think I’ve got it.”

“I’ll see you tonight, though.”

“Tonight?” you asked.

Eddie paused. “Uh, I’m performing tonight? At The Hidey-Hole?” He could hear you let out a low “Ohhhhhh” as he spoke. “I’m bringing that volcano thing…?”

“Oh, shit!” you exclaimed. “You’re right. Glad I can come then. Jesus, I’m sorry for forgetting. I really didn’t want to miss that.”

Eddie smiled. “No problem, Weirdo.” And for some reason, he genuinely began sweating as he started his next question. A proper sweat, starting in his armpits and the crown of his head, threatening to send trickles down his neck and torso. Fuck, he needed a shower.

“Is it cool that I invited Robin…and, uh, Steve?”

You paused. “No, yeah. It’s fine. Sure.”

It hadn’t been a long pause. But it was a pause, one of those that lasted a second too long. A short break in the conversation, a hesitance that held more than just a beat of silence. And now he was wondering what the fuck you were thinking.

“Did you go on that date?”

Eddie couldn’t stop the lump growing in his throat as the question came through. Did he really want to tell you of all people about his subpar date with Steve Harrington? 

But you were still his best friend. He really couldn’t keep it from you.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“And…how was it?”

Taking another bite of his sandwich, he recounted the night more to himself than you, really. Because, yeah, Steve had been nice. Really nice. A gentleman in every way that mattered. But, to put it simply, it was just fucking boring.

“It went okay, I guess? I don’t know. Steve’s a really nice guy and he’s pretty funny. Good at mini-golf, too.”

“Don’t you, like, hate mini-golf?”

You were right. Eddie loathed mini-golf after an unfortunate accident. He was by the edge of the water, trying to hit the neon green ball into the mouth of a hippo. It was on some date with some girl he was trying to impress, and he was a little too forceful with his swing. He failed to even hit the ball, losing his grip on the putter before dropping it to the ground. Eddie took a step forward, accidentally stepping on the ball. Lost his footing. Fell in the water. Hit his head. Had to be taken to the ER for a couple of stitches. Lost the girl after she had to drive him home.

He felt so embarrassed when he tried to go back a few months later and saw they put up a fence around the water and a sign that said No Swimming. 

“Yes, but I never told him that story.”

You snorted. “Well, why not?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you didn’t want to play mini golf, why didn’t you say anything about it?”

“I don’t know, I guess I wanted to make him happy.”

He could hear you pause again. “So, are you guys, like dating?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a serious thing.” Was he trying to tell himself this or you? “But I guess we are.”

“Cool.”

Cool? What did you mean by cool? That was half of an opinion, half judgment. Or did you really not care? But you were the one who asked, weren’t you? Did it mean anything that he still wanted you to be jealous, to finally come clean about how you felt and denounce Steve’s advances? 

He looked at the time and sighed. “Shit, I gotta head back. Hold on while I down this BLT.”

“Okay.”

He stuffed the last of his sandwich in his mouth and washed it down with the rest of his Dr. Pepper. 

“OW!” you shouted again. “Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate this stupid thing!”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. “Have fun with your broken toilet, Weirdo.”

“Yeah, yeah. Eat shit.”

You felt haunted by some kind of fucked up presence as you drove to that dive bar across the city. Knowing that your fears were confirmed… Well, it certainly wasn’t the best feeling, was it? Like the rejection before the rejection. The pre-game. The warmup. 

And you were always asking the wrong questions, weren’t you? Your mind was a pesky little thing, desperate for those deprecating answers to confirm every nightmare you’d had for the past two weeks. They were dating now. And maybe it wasn’t an official relationship yet, but casual dating led to dating and dating led to a relationship and a relationship led to the death of any and all chance with Eddie Munson.

“Love Is a Stranger” blasted through your speakers, the same song you sang at karaoke. The one where Eddie left the table to come and cheer you on, always being your biggest fan. He swayed, raising the roof ever so often to give an added effect. But… Well. What about Eddie and Steve’s performance? What about the way Eddie danced with him, getting closer than you’d ever seen them before?

Steve’s hands. The stumble. The nearly avoided kiss.

And you didn’t want to give in to the dangerous bitterness rising in you. You really didn’t.

But if you saw even a morsel of affection tonight, a mere kiss on the fucking cheek, you were going to throw up.

“'And I want you. And I want you. And I want you so, it’s an

obsession.'”

You groaned. “Get out of my head, Annie Lennox!”

But she, of course, couldn’t hear you. Instead, she was spending every second of that intoxicating beat teasing you, berating you. Making you wish that you’d stayed home tonight, bitter with a 10mg Delta-9 gummy, melting into the couch while watching Schitt’s Creek. At least there you could anxiously daydream about what was going to happen tonight and spiral down an endless well of what-ifs without having to see it. 

But you kept driving.

            “'It’s savage and it’s cruel and it shines like destruction.

            Comes in like a flood, and it seems like religion.

            It’s noble and it’s brutal, it distorts and deranges.

            And it wrenches you up and you’re left like a zombie.'”

You couldn’t help but let out another groan and skip the song.

“Fucking Annie Lennox,” you murmured.

When you got out of your car, you saw Eddie talking to Gareth, Grant, and Jeff over by his van, Gareth drumming against the pavement. Eddie was nodding along to the beat but turned at the sound of the car door, smile widening. It was like that anxiety dissipated, momentarily overwhelming you with a sense of calm and safety you always felt around him. It was so strange, the way he affected you.

“Look who it is,” you heard Grant say, hitting Jeff’s shoulder before pointing over at you.

“Eddie!” you called out before running over to him, trying to keep hold of your purse.

“Hurry up, Weirdo!” he exclaimed, arms spread wide, quick to catch and lift you into the air once you fell into him. 

It was so strange, the way he moved you.

You let out an exasperated “Ahhhh” as he moved you back and forth, shaking you a few times before putting you back down.

The rest of the band exclaimed your name, hooting and hollering, all rowdy and boyish.

“Lookin’ hot!” Jeff said, throwing you finger guns. You gave him a big smile.

“Yeah, you look so cool,” Eddie said once he had a chance to look you over. He took a step back, as if he were admiring art. Fuck. “The lucky fishnets?” he asked, pinching your thigh. You jumped, slapping his arm.

"Ow! Quit it!" But you still smiled, nodding feverishly. “To answer your question, yes. You know I had to wear ‘em.”

“Hell yeah, dude,” he replied, giving you a hearty high-five that stung. “It’s gonna be a good night.”

And you believed him. You really did.

“Hey, guys!” 

But you lost hope immediately, trying not to turn around at the sound of Steve’s voice. If there was anything that could ruin your night, it was Steve Harrington walking around drunk with loose lips and a penchant for physical affection.

Eddie waved. “What’s up!”

“Just here to rock out,” Robin responded. You turned and watched as she threw up her fingers in the sign of the horns. That made you laugh. She was trying her hardest and you respected that. You also respected how she wasn’t trying to fit in, in a forest green crop top and loose jeans. Her hands were stuffed in a dark jean jacket and had her hair up in a small bun. (In short, Robin was hot.)

“Hey, you look great!” Robin said to you, giving you a hug. “Love the lipstick.”

You were genuinely touched by the compliment. “Thanks, Robin. You look beautiful, as always.”

“Nice fishnets,” Steve noted, pointing to your legs.

You finally faced him, eyes widening when you took in his appearance. Steve was trying harder too, in a Panic! at the Disco Death of a Bachelor album t-shirt and jeans, with a chain in exchange for a belt. If it wasn’t him, that would look stupid. But it was Steve Harrington. He looked cool.

“Um, thank you,” you replied with a small smile.

Steve saluted you before poking Robin. “You should keep Rob company tonight. She invited Vickie, but she got stuck at work.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “And? It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. She has a life outside of me.”

Robin looked like she was telling the truth. She genuinely wasn't that upset about it. But Steve couldn't help but take things a little too far.

“Yeah, but you’re like in love with her, dude—"

“Am not! Shut up!”

“Yeah, Harrington,” Eddie agreed. “Let the girl live.”

Steve turned to you again, making your eyes widen. Was Steve wearing a little bit of eyeliner? Did he really put in this much effort to impress Eddie?

“What about you?” he asked. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Without a singular thought about consequences, you said, “Um, well, I’m going on a date tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Robin asked, narrowing her eyes. You knew she was suspicious from the get-go. “That’s very…soon.”

“You didn’t mention it on the phone earlier,” Eddie stated, turning his full attention to you now. You knew he was hurt. You saw it immediately. 

“Oh, yeah, well. We just made the plans like an hour ago and—so, yeah. They’re really cool.”

“That’s great, though,” Steve said, throwing a hand up to high-five you. You glanced over at Eddie’s seemingly blank expression before giving Steve the most pathetic high-five of your life. “You’ve been single the entire time I’ve known you. That’s awesome. Congrats.”

Before you could say anything, Grant was cutting in. “What about you and Eddie, huh?” he asked, smirking over at Steve.

No. No, no, no. Please no. You didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t need to.

But you did.

“Oh, yeah!” Steve laughed, pointing at Eddie. Eddie who was looking away, fiddling with something. Probably his lighter. He was always playing with that thing. 

You turned your attention back to Steve, bracing yourself for the impact.

“Eddie’s been so fun to go on dates with. Seriously, this guy is like a master at mini-golf.” You shot Eddie a look, noticing how he was already glancing over at you nervously. “I can never get the ball through those tiny slots and, seriously dude, you got through that windmill on the first try. It’s unbelievable.”

“That’s awesome,” you said, smiling mischievously. Eddie gave you a look, rolling his eyes. “Eddie’s just a natural at everything. Pinball, D&D, air hockey, and now mini-golf.”

Eddie groaned and you could tell he wanted you to shut up. “I just have a lot of interests. It’s really not that big of a deal.” He let out a small huff before pointing at the band. “Alright, you all go back inside with these two,” he turned to point at Robin and Steve, “because we,” now the finger was on you, “are going to take dabs.”

Everyone laughed at his finger-turned-compass before waving their goodbyes and heading off. The two of you watched everyone file through the door before Eddie turned to you and patted your shoulder.

“Come here, Weirdo. Got something special for ya.”

As he led you over to his van, you noticed his hand brushing your back. You wished he kept snaking his arm around your waist, pulling you in and playing with the lace. Fiddle with it to his heart’s content and give him a reason to keep touching you. Keep getting closer. Even if he was opening the back door of the van and pulling out a device, he could always keep you guys in there. Keep you close, whispering in the dark. Keep his fingers on your dress…

“Alright,” he said, clapping and rubbing his hands together. You shook the image out of your head. “So, I brought this thing called a Volcano Vaporizer. It’s, like, this thing where I put this plastic bag right here and when I melt the wax, it fills the bag with smoke, right?” You nodded, watching him work. “And then I put this orange mouthpiece on and, boom, you just suck the dab out. It’ll give us about three bags which will probably be more than enough.”

“Even for you?”

He smirked. “Even for me.”

“Sick,” you said.

“Here,” he said once it filled up. “First half is yours, humble cleric.”

Snorting, you shook your head. “Always the gentleman.”

You pressed your lips down on the mouthpiece and took it in slow, filling your lungs to the best of your ability. The taste wasn’t even half bad, similar to a regular bong hit, just with a little twist from being wax instead of bud. And the strangest thing happened when you blew out the air: You didn’t cough. Any time you took a dab, you coughed and hacked and lost your mind. Puffcos were your absolute enemy. But this…

“This is the smoothest dab I’ve ever taken,” you said.

He nodded, taking the bag from you and finishing off the first batch. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“How’d you get this?”

“Uh, I won it in a poker game against one of my dealers,” he said as he filled a second bag and took a hit. “I may have cheated, but he doesn’t know that.” You laughed. “It’s usually $700 or some shit like that.”

“An impeccable man,” you teased, taking the half-full bag. “Incredible work, Munson.”

You sucked in the rest of the dab and let the smoke out, noticing Eddie’s eyes directly on you. Reciprocating the eye contact, you grew confused when he didn’t break it at all. In fact, he seemed so much closer than before.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked.

“Looking at you like what?”

You nudged him. “Like that.”

“What’s their name?”

“Huh?”

“The person you’re going on the date with.”

“Gertrude,” you said without thinking. You swallowed down the urge to bash your head against the side of the van as you realized how utterly stupid you sounded. But you had to commit now. That was the only way out of this. You could only hope Eddie was dumb enough to believe you. “Their name is Gertrude.”

“Gertrude?” Eddie repeated. You nodded. “Sounds cool.”

Sounds cool? Sounds cool? That wasn’t supposed to be his response. Why wasn’t he calling you out for lying? Why wasn’t he exposing you for having a fat crush on him and throwing all of this stupid middle school behavior aside? But even if he did believe you, he was supposed to at least look a little upset by it. In fact, he looked more upset about you not telling him than he did with the fake ass name you made up. It was unbearable. You didn’t want this anymore.

Without hesitation, you reached out to grab his hand. You needed to feel him close, needed to feel the way you always did in his grasp. Safe. Understood. And here you were, seconds from meeting his open palm and saying to hell with all of these stupid games. To hell with keeping everything concealed. There was no Gertrude. There shouldn’t be a Steve. It was just you. It was just him. You were all his.

But there Eddie was, looking away from you and back towards Gareth at the door, waving him over. Eddie gave him a salute in turn.  

“Alright, Weirdo,” he said, patting your knee. He hadn’t even noticed your hand lying limp against your thigh. “I gotta go perform. Finish this for me?” he asked, handing you the rest of his dab. You nodded, giving him the best tight-lipped smile you could without giving away your disappointment. “Alright, don’t forget to lock the van and, oh, by the way, don’t be long. Gotta have my biggest fan in the front row.”

“Like always.”

“Like always.”

It was actually a really good turnout tonight. Corroded Coffin had finally gotten a spot to play on a Saturday which was a very big deal. The Hidey-Hole may have been a dive bar, but in Atlanta terms, that still meant it was packed on the weekends. At first it had been twenty people, twenty-five tops. Then fifty flooded the space with a bouncer and a line at the door and suddenly Eddie realized how important this was for the band.

So why was it that he couldn’t pay attention?

He couldn’t help but think about you, about this fucking person you were going on a date with. Would you find yourself wanting more? With a cool name like Gertrude, maybe you would. Eddie couldn’t help but flip through facial features and imaginings of who this person was and how their voice sounded and how it would feel if he saw you being kissed by someone else.

And, sure, Eddie was going on dates with Steve. But they hadn’t kissed or anything like that. Eddie wasn’t even sure he wanted to kiss Steve. Steve was pretty—extremely pretty. The kind of pretty that made any boy swoon, and all the girls lose their minds. But Steve just wasn’t someone Eddie wanted to kiss. 

Because you were screaming your head off in the front, jumping and dancing around to his music while Steve stood in the back and bopped his head. You knew every word, every note. You played an air guitar along with him, head banging your way through the set and pointing up at him whenever they got to a part that you really liked. He always shared his lyrics with you first, always shocked when you’d memorize them and squeal about your favorite lines.

He couldn’t help but smile at you, as lost in the music as he was. You were wearing one of his (secret) favorite dresses, a black lace babydoll dress with what you called your lucky fishnets. Specifically, the ones with you wore to whatever gig you could make it to. (Every gig you showed up to always drew in a larger crowd. How you did that, he couldn’t say. He did call you a witch once.)

Tonight, your eyes were lined in black with silver eye shadow and a deep burgundy lipstick. A lover of black, but you always wore it with a smile. Maybe the happiest semi-goth he’d ever met. He loved it—no, more than that. He went absolutely feral for it. It made his heart skyrocket, his mouth run a little dryer than usual. And when he was high like this, tingling with the vibrations of his Sweetheart, he prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that he wouldn’t get a boner onstage. 

But he could see your dress riding up to reveal that your lucky fishnets came attached to garters and Sweetheart was adding juuuuust enough friction and suddenly he had to look away from you, too embarrassed that he fucking popped a boner in front of all these people, that he popped a boner in front of you, with only Sweetheart to keep his secret.

He looked back over to Steve, testing himself. Was Steve able to do the same thing? Could he ruin Eddie on this stage tonight and turn him into a mumbling fool in his bedroom later when he got himself off? 

But…there was nothing. Steve was talking to Robin and offhandedly looked at his phone. Eddie could even see him scrolling. He may have been swaying to the beat, but he was barely paying attention. It hurt Eddie’s feeling, just not in a way that would come from a potential lover.

In the end, he realized there really was only one person he wanted to kiss.

And she was currently going on dates with someone else.  

That Volcano truly did what it set out to do. You were seeing color after color, the room swirling around you in vibrant shades of red and black. It was all fuzzy and pixelated, vibrating within you. You were being taken on an overwhelming journey, but in a way that was calming. Eddie was right in front of you, giving it his all and basically staring at you the entire time. Or from what you could tell in between dancing and the room spinning you in circles like a merry-go-round.

And, holy hell, Eddie was so fucking hot when he performed. It burned, literally burned inside of you, slowly spreading between your legs. It was all Eddie’s fault, with his bangs sticking to his forehead and sweat rolling down his cheeks like teardrops. In every guitar solo, he bit his lip so hard that you could’ve sworn you saw him draw blood. His fingers hit note after note, charging up and down the neck of his electric guitar. Those hands which, ever so sweetly, used to fit right in yours. 

The callouses on the tips of his left hand, the ones that scratched at your palms whenever you held it. It was always rougher after band practice or when he came down from his apartment twenty minutes late after needing to perfect one of his wicked solos—like the one he was performing now. 

Those hands that you thought about sliding in between your thighs. Opening you up. Teasing you for wearing a garter belt to hold up your fishnets. Leaving little bites along your neck as he questioned why those were so lucky in the first place and asking you how lucky you thought you’d get tonight.

You had to make yourself stop thinking about it, trying to dance your desire away.

But you looked up at Eddie who was looking down at you. And there was something in his eyes, something blown out and downright dirty. You couldn’t help but stare back, giving him a wicked grin before moving your hips around. And if you made sure he could see your garter belt, well, maybe you didn’t care anymore. 

Because you saw his face go red and a smile meet his lips and suddenly you were thinking that maybe there was something more there. ‘Cause he wasn’t looking at Steve. He was looking at you. And when he finished his final belt of the night, he didn’t throw his guitar pick at Steve. He threw it at you.

“Oh em gee, is that Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin?”

Eddie turned with a grin, watching you comically twisting your foot and pretending to be bashful.

“Hey, you a fan?”

You nodded, batting your eyes. “I’m, like, your biggest fan. You’re so talented. Can I get your autograph?”

He smiled, nodding generously. “Of course, of course. Anything for my fans.”

Giggling, you dropped your act and hugged him. Even at his sweatiest, you never cared. It wasn’t like you weren’t sweaty from dancing all night. “In all seriousness, you were great. Like always.”

“Ah, thanks,” he replied, placing his chin on your head briefly before pulling back. “I really do appreciate it. You were killing it in the crowd.”

You smirked, placing your hands on your hips. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you give it your all every fucking time.”

You did a little dance as you teetered from side-to-side. “It’s so much fun! I can’t wait for the day you can play somewhere where we can mosh, ‘cause I’ll be the one to start it.”

“You think you’ll be able to handle it?” he teased.

You narrowed your eyes playfully. “Fuck yes I will. I’ll be bloody and gross by the end of it and it’ll be awesome. I swear, you underestimate—"

“Whoo!”

You both turned, watching Steve jog over. And as he approached, you felt all happiness drain from your limbs.

Because Steve had a wide smile on his face and he was fist bumping the air and he was drawing near, excitement flooding his features with flushed cheeks and sweat beading on his forehead and—

Steve kissed Eddie.

He actually kissed him.

And you couldn’t focus on any of the details. 

No, you weren’t going to keep torturing yourself like that.

So, you just…left.

Eddie pushed Steve back.

“What the hell was that, Harrington?”

Steve laughed. “Can I not kiss you?”

“I mean. I don’t—” Eddie sighed, shaking his head. He looked around the room for you, immediately having the urge to apologize. “I don’t know, man. Sorry.” 

“Listen, I think what you did up there was very, very sexy,” Steve said loudly, placing a finger on Eddie’s chest. 

Raising an eyebrow, Eddie simply nodded. “Uh, yeah, dude. Thanks.”

“Did you wanna get a snack at that diner after you pack up? We could even grab the girls and hang.”

Eddie really wanted to find you instead. He wanted to know if you saw Steve kiss him and if you really thought they were something more. He wanted to ask more about whoever this Gertrude was and if there was a reason you kept this from him until tonight. More than anything else, he wanted to know if you were okay.

But you just…left.

Your head was spinning, and it wasn’t going to be long before you completely broke down. A pool of nausea rested in your stomach, bubbling up your throat by the second. You made your way out of the bar, the humid air doing nothing to help. Tears collected in your eyes, threatening to spill over and smear your eyeliner even more than it already had during the show. Maybe it didn’t fucking matter anymore. 

The door opened behind you; Robin’s voice heard above the music as she called out your name. You turned then, pausing as she ran over. 

“Hey, you okay?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

You nodded, but it felt more like a shrug than anything else. “Yeah, I’m good. Just need to leave.” Trying to conceal the sniffle, you scuffed your Converse against the gravel. “Steve and Eddie are back inside. Maybe y’all can go out or something.”

“Without you?”

When you finally made eye contact with Robin, you knew she understood. She was giving you that look, the one that called bullshit without having to actually verbalize it. She knew that you knew. You knew that she knew. 

“I’m actually feeling nauseous, so I think I should go home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah—” you started before leaning over and puking onto a tree. 

Well, nothing was going to sober you up more than that.

You felt Robin’s hands making sure your hair didn’t get in your face. 

“Holy shit, are you okay?”

You nodded as you stood up again. “Yeah, it’s probably the dab.”

Robin crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at you. “You know, Eddie said you felt sick the other week, too.” 

You looked at her with narrowed eyes. Saying nothing, you wiped the vomit from your mouth. Just say it, Robin,you thought bitterly. Just fucking get it over with. Call me out. I dare you.

“Maybe you should, I don’t know, do something about it,” she said, shrugging. “Say something.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her coded sentence. “Yeah, maybe. Thanks, Robin. Have fun with Eddie and Steve. I’ll see you later.”

Rushing off to your car, you tried to keep your sobs from spilling out from your mouth. And if anyone saw you, well, you couldn’t quite seem to care anymore.

Steve and Robin kept the conversation going as they sat in the little 24/7 diner down the street from The Hidey-Hole. Eddie was bored out of his mind. Robin told him that you got sick from the dab and decided to go home. And, sure, that might be the reason you left. But in the middle of a sentence? In the middle of a conversation? Without saying goodbye?

It wasn’t like you at all.

Eddie tried to focus on shoveling eggs and hash browns into his mouth, washing everything down with black coffee and a helping of chocolate milk. The high was coming down with each bite. He didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t fun if you weren’t there to tell him you didn’t want chocolate milk before stealing his. It wasn’t fun if you weren’t ordering two plates of food and swearing you would finish everything before begging him to eat half of it. 

It just wasn’t fun without you.

Steve nudged him. Eddie looked up reluctantly. He wanted to say something snarky and rude about how Steve was barely paying attention and how stupid it was for him to pretend he had when he kissed him. He wanted to scream at Steve that you were more engaged than he was and what excuse did he have when they were supposed to be going out. He wanted to push his way out of the booth and go track you down.

Instead, he asked, “What?”

Steve pointed up at himself. “Did you like the eyeliner? I think it added a nice touch.”

That had been the first time Eddie even noticed. “Oh, yeah. Yeah,” he stumbled, scrambling for a white lie. “It looks good, dude.”

Eddie didn’t last much longer after that. He waited for the waitress to come by, nearly begging her for his check and getting the fuck out of there before Steve and Robin could suggest going with him. He stalked back to his van, the band already packed up and gone for the night.

With a sense of false hope, he looked over at the spot your car had been in, now taken by someone else. 

Maybe he should’ve ran outside to find you before you slipped away.

When he started out of the parking lot, he could’ve turned on something heavy. Something to make his ears bleed and the fuzz to distract from the incessant thunder and lightning in his head. 

Instead, he searched for that song you sang at karaoke. That Eurythmics one that you adored so much, always a sucker for some dark Eighties-esque synth. The strength of the lead singer, all tough and frustrated before saying the most bittersweet shit he’d ever heard. 

And so, he listened to it, weaving through the streets and banging on his steering wheel with every red light. Road rage turning the thunder and lightning into something more intense, something more vicious. He couldn’t help but wish his lips were on yours as he thanked you for wearing your fishnets and desperately clawed at the garters underneath your dress. Worshipping you in the hush of the night. Without Robin. Without Steve. Without fucking Gertrude.

“And I want you. And I want you. And I want you so it’s an

obsession.”

The lines kept repeating themselves, over and over with each chorus. Echoing his feelings, ruining him from ever escaping these fucking thoughts of something else. A future, a moment in time where he had you and everything was allowed to make sense again. 

“Annie Lennox,” he said, sighing and clucking his tongue. “Fucking Annie Lennox.”

When you stepped inside your apartment that night, you couldn’t help but let out a scream, walking over to the kitchen table and kicking a chair over. Tears slid down your cheeks, gushing and spilling over. None of this was how it was supposed to be. None of this made any fucking sense anymore.

Eddie didn’t want you. He never did.

He wanted Steve. And you didn’t have to like it, but god dammit you had to endure it.

It was so strange, the way he could break you.

You fell to the floor, trying to physically hold yourself together. But you could feel the guitar pick still in the pocket of your dress, growing heavier by the second. You pulled it out and tried to look at it through the tears, accidentally smearing eyeliner on the damn thing.  

Annie Lennox’s voice sat in your skull, repeating her demented lyrics over and over.

            “It’s guilt edged, glamorous, and sleek by design.

            You know it’s jealous by nature, false and unkind. 

            It’s hard and restrained and it’s totally cool.

            It touches and it teases as you stumble in the debris.

            And I want you.”

[half-oz-eddie]

Journaling Billy is so personal for me.

Billy with a gratitude journal that he writes in every time something good happens, or someone does something nice for him.

He got the journal from a nurse at the hospital post-starcourt, who thought it would be a nice way for him to pass the time, while also lifting his spirits and helping him realize how much love and kindness is around him, even if he doubts it.

It's just a blue, soft cover bound book, but he humors the nurse because she's got warm, pretty eyes and reminds him of his mom.

He uses it often, even after leaving the hospital.

Steve catches him writing in his journal one day, and Billy tells him it's fine if he reads the gratitude journal but not his diary.

Steve, of course, is dying to see what's in the journal, what Billy considers nice, and what good things have been happening to the love of his life.

Aug 1, 1985 Everyone came to see me. Even those kids Harrington always babysits. That's nice, right?

Aug 5 Harrington brought me some food from some burger joint. It was good. I guess he's nice even though I was kind of a dick to him.

Aug 21 Harrington showed up to drive me home. I don't know why he's being so nice to me. It pisses me off because I think he just feels sorry for me. I'm probably using this journal the wrong way but I don't care. I can't talk to anybody about this. I'm not feeling that grateful for shit today.

Aug 25 Max helped me with my pain medication. I thought she hated me. She acts like everything's fine. I have to admit I’m grateful what happened only stays in my nightmares and I wake up to a different reality.

Aug 29 Harrington called to check on me. Offered to come over and play cards. He doesn't have to keep pretending. I like the company, though.

Sept 10th Max tried to stay home from school to look after me. I'm doing a lot better so I didn't need the help. I still don't understand why everyone's being so nice after what I did. Sept 14th Felt strong enough to go out for some air on my own. Saw Sinclair and that other kid. Think his name's Dustin. They were on their bikes. They waved and asked how I was doing. Told them I was fine and they rode off. Do I deserve their concern? Sept 15th Sinclair came back while I was on the porch. Asked for Max. I told him he couldn't be here because of Neil. We waited for Max a few houses down and talked about basketball. He's trying out for the team so I gave him some advice. It was a nice conversation. Didn't feel forced at all.

Sept 20th I told Lucas I was sorry for what happened that night. He said he'd forgotten all about it. I know the little shit was lying, but I guess he forgives me. That was cool of him.

Sept 29th Lucas made the team and thanked me for the advice. I don't feel like I did anything.

Oct 4th I'm feeling better than ever. Driving around on my own again. Nobody seems to blame me for what I did, and everyone's nice everywhere I go.

Oct 11th Went to see El. She's always kind to me. She's like the little sister I never had. She made me some waffles.

Oct 15th Saw Harrington again. It was warm so we went swimming in his pool. I really missed the water.

Oct 29th Haven't been writing much down. It feels like I'm saying the same things over and over. Everyone's always nice to me. Dad's not bothering me anymore. I feel like I have a lot of support around me. For once I feel safe. Oct 31st Went to a halloween party with Harrington. First time having a beer in months. Got a little too drunk and we kissed. He didn't seem to hate it. I didn't either.

Nov 9th Finally talked to Steve again after the kiss. He asked if I wanted to go steady. I said no at first, then changed my mind. I'm glad I did.

Steve smiled as he read every entry. Every few days, Billy's entries were longer and longer. He talked about things that made him smile, people he met, and how much he appreciated the simplest things. It was an amazing transformation. He continued to read the entries, his eyes widening when he read the most recent one. January 12th 1986 I'm falling in love with Steve. I was hoping he’d say it first but he hasn’t said anything. Maybe I’m too hopeful. He treats me like he loves me too, I think. But I’m not sure. Steve quickly closed the book, feeling like he'd violated Billy's privacy by reading something he hadn't known before. "Why so quiet, Steve? You read yesterday's entry, huh?" "I—yeah. I thought maybe you wrote it in the wrong journal."

"I didn't. I was gonna tell you, I just...I dunno. I didn't want you to think I was trying to move too fast."

Steve laughed. "You have no idea how relieved I am."

Billy narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Billy, I've been in love with you for weeks."

Billy snorted. "You're such a sap, pretty boy."

They shared a kiss and Billy wrote in his journal about how grateful he was, to love and be loved.

January 16th On August 21st last year, I was wrong. I have everything to be grateful for.

▪️▫️▪️

A little something to show my gratitude for reaching 400 followers. I appreciate all of you ❤️

Also tagging some friends I’ve met here that really belong in my gratitude journal for all the kindness they’ve shown lately and their posts just make me smile.

@shieldofiron @monsterpegger001 @dragonflylady77 @harringroveera @bigdumbbambieyes @brightside-of-the-upsidedown @thatgirlwithasquid

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Poor Competition

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: fluff, minor angst

Summary: You and Derek have butted heads ever since you started at the BAU. Your team sets both of you up so that you're forced to confront your problems instead of running from it.

Square Filled: team dinner (2022) for @cmbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

No one wants to say it out loud but they’re so sick and tired of your and Derek’s behavior lately. All everyone wanted to do was have a nice dinner together to celebrate the success of the most recent case, but you two are ruining it by bickering every five minutes. If it’s not about the food, it’s about each other's clothes. If it’s not about where the other lives, it’s about your work success.

You hate doing this to your friends but nothing you say will make Derek see that he is the one in the wrong. Every time you try to put your two cents in, Derek just has to comment about why he’s better than you. Derek did this, Derek did that. Derek is the one who caught the unsub even though it was your idea on how. Derek is the one who figured out where the unsub was even though it was based on your profile. It doesn’t seem to matter what you do, Derek just has to do it better in one way shape, or form.

It’s really pissing you off.

He’s been your rival ever since you started with the BAU. Things were civil in the beginning until he started to outshine you in everything. It didn’t matter what you did, he just had to do it better. He made you feel stupid so you gave him a taste of his own medicine. It’s been a battle that has never been settled between you. If he decides to hate you then you’ll hate him right back.

“I was given an office and moved out of the bullpen. It’s been amazing to have my own personal space.”

“You only got that office because Penelope felt sorry for you.”

“At least she was thinking of me.”

“I’m glad you moved out of the bullpen so I don’t have to hear every story begin with ‘So I hooked up with this one girl’.”

“Hey, that was one time!”

“Will you two stop?” Emily explodes with annoyance. “I’m going to speak for everyone here that we’re tired of your bullshit. Work it out or you’re not invited to anything anymore.”

You feel bad that this bickering is affecting the rest of the team. You and Derek lower your heads in shame as the rest of the conversation continues.

“We’re sorry,” Derek sighs and shovels a fork-full of food into his mouth.

After the dinner is over and you’re back home in the sanctuary of your home, you get a message from JJ.

Hey, do you want to go with me to the carnival in town this weekend? I think it could be good to go with Will and the kids.

Sure! Sounds like fun.

Cool. I’ll text you the time later when we figure it out.

The rest of the work week went by slowly because you and Derek were always fighting. The only thing you’re looking forward to is spending time with JJ, Will, and the kids. You show up at the carnival twenty minutes early just in case there is a long line to get in.

Hey, I’m here. Where are you?

By the ticket line.

You push through the crowd to get to the ticket line but you don’t see her. Usually, Henry runs into your arms as soon as he sees you but you don’t get that greeting. You turn to check out another place when you run into a hard chest. You look up to apologize to the person but see it’s Derek.

“Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?”

“Reid asked to hang out here. What are you doing here?”

“JJ asked me to hang with her and the kids.” It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you two have been set up. Everything has been paid for but if Derek is the only one who is going to be here, you’re not staying. “Let’s just leave.”

You turn to leave when Derek scoffs loudly.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He points to the gate entrance where Hotch and Rossi are standing on either side of it to prevent you two from leaving. “Looks like we’re stuck here.”

“Yeah, we’re stuck but we don’t have to be stuck together. Let’s stay a few hours separately and then leave together.”

“That’s the first smart idea you’ve had,” he says sarcastically and leaves your side.

You mock him in a deep voice before going off on your own. It’s fun going on rides by yourself without having to worry about another person but that gets old very quickly. You hate going to these things alone because you want to enjoy it with someone who gets excited to be here. You love rides and carnivals but it’s not as fun without someone to enjoy it with. The games get boring and meaningless without someone to impress.

You stop to grab some cotton candy, your favorite carnival snack. The only thing you’re looking forward to is riding the Ferris Wheel alone. The sun is setting which makes getting on the ride the perfect time. There is already a long line by the time you get there but you wait patiently for your turn. Someone bumps into you from behind causing you to smack into the person in front of you.

“I’m so sor--oh, it’s you,” you sigh.

“Why are you following me?”

“I’m not. You just happened to be in the same line as me at this exact time. It means nothing.”

You go back to eating your cotton candy and minding your own business when you feel eyes on you. You look around and lock eyes with a much older man by the bathrooms. He is leaning against the wall right by the women’s restrooms. He might be waiting for someone but with the way he’s looking at you, you doubt it. 

He smiles creepily so you move to the left and out of view of him. However, he moves to the right so he can look at you some more. You shift closer to Derek until you’re practically touching him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asks and looks at you.

“Sorry,” you sigh and move back into the man’s view.

You peek over at the man who is still staring at you. Derek looks over to see what you’re looking at and sees the man. He immediately steps out of line and approaches the man calmly. Derek leans close to the man and says something that causes the man to look back at him in fear. Before Derek is done talking to him, the man scurries off and disappears into the crowd. Derek smirks slightly and walks back to his place in line. You hide your smile behind your cotton candy but Derek sees.

“Shut up and eat your cotton candy before I pour water on it.”

That makes you smile even more. You two get to the front of the line, but fate has it that you’re stuck sitting in the same car. Derek sits on one side of the car and you on the other and no words are being said. The Ferris Wheel lifts you higher so you can get a better view of the beautiful sunset. The light hits your face at the right angle making your skin glow.

“What?” you sigh, feeling his eyes on you.

“Why do you hate me?”

That question shocks you from how sudden it is.

“That’s not the question you should be asking. The question is why you you hate me?”

“What? I don’t hate you. Why would you think that?”

“Are you serious? Ever since I started at the BAU, you’ve always had to one-up me. You just had to be better than me. You did it the first chance you got. You embarrassed me in front of everyone, and it doesn't matter what I seem to do, it’s not good enough for you.”

Derek never realized what he was doing to you. You were only like this way toward him because he was doing it to you. He feels really bad once he realizes how much this affects you.

“I thought you were trying to one-up me all the time.”

“Wow, what a couple of idiots we are,” you chuckle. “So, we’ve been fighting for nothing?”

“Seems like it.”

“Wow,” you nod and look down.

Derek slides from his side of the car to yours.

“Can we start over? You’ve done some pretty amazing things for the team. I’d like a chance to get to know that part of you.”

You look up and notice the way the sunlight is making his dark brown eyes shine.

“I’d like that,” you smile.

Funny how all it took is a conversation for you and Derek to become the best of friends.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[ayyy-pee]

Chapter 7 - 50-50 Grind

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Kofi

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Taglist

Pairing:Suguru Geto x Female Reader, Choso Kamo x Female Reader

Summary: We get into the mind of Choso and find that his cool, calm demeanor may be nothing more than an illusion when it comes to reader.

Warning: Smut, Oral Sex (reader receiving), Oral Sex (reader giving), Choso being super sweet, Choso being super nasty, Cumshot, Oral Cumshot, Cum Swallowing, Very Slight Cumplay (Choso), Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Vaginal Fingering, Handjob

Suguru Art: YuOekk

Choso Art: @DmD_0_03

A/N: Chileeee THE WRITER'S BLOCK THE WRITER'S BLOCK!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! I hope everyone had an amazing (and safe) new year! In 2023, I'm going to try not to lie so much about when I'll be updating so instead, I just won't say anything! DLFKJSDKF

Enjoy the new year and this new chapter!

The sounds of cash registers beeping and patrons conversing amongst themselves fills the air. It’s busy this afternoon in the supermarket. It’s a good thing. Choso enjoys company, enjoys the normalcy of simply shopping for groceries. He doesn’t get the opportunity to do it much during competition season and he doesn’t particularly mind the hustle and bustle. Even though he draws attention to himself with his face tattoos and tired eyes, he finds comfort in being around people.

Choso glances down at his phone, the way too long shopping list nearly making his eyes cross as he reads through. You’re coming over for dinner with Choso and his brothers tomorrow night and apparently everything on this list is absolutely essential (according to Yuji). He grabs a few carrots as listed from the vegetable display, tucking them away into a bag before placing them in the basket hanging from his arm. He moves on to look at the herbs noted on his phone. He’s not exactly sure what all of these ingredients will become. He’s not the one cooking dinner– Yuji is. 

He’d volunteered out of sheer excitement. 

“Choso’s bringing someone home?! That never happens,” Yuji teases. He’s stretched out on the floor in the living room as he reads through a manga.

“Will you ever just call me big brother?” Choso sulks on the couch. “It hurts my feelings when you just call me by my name.”

Yuji ignores him. “What’s she like?!”

“Really sweet. Pretty too. Like, really pretty. She photographs for a skate magazine. That’s how we met.”

“Wow! She seems so cool.”

“She is.”

“I’m so excited! Oh! I’m gonna cook! I’ve been wanting to try this new recipe out.”

Choso smiles, thinking about you. He thinks you’re beautiful, smart, funny and talented. Your photos surprise him whenever you let him get a peek. How can you make a simple trick he’s seen done hundreds of times look different and better every time? You’re passionate. He likes that about you. A lot.

The only thing about you that Choso dislikes is the dead weight attached to you named Suguru Geto. He tries really hard not to let it bother him, but he doesn’t get it. At first, he didn’t mind so much. When you’d told him about your little “situationship” with Suguru, that didn’t matter to him. He’s never been the jealous type anyway. But the more Choso got to know you, the more Suguru’s presence in your life began to irk him. 

How was he to know he’d end up feeling this way? He had no idea of knowing how serious he’d become about you. Or how quickly he’d become serious about you. He figured you’d come to your senses sooner or later, see who the better choice was. But Suguru was still sticking around like an annoying rash you couldn’t get rid of. 

But he won’t get into that with Yuji right now.

“She’s great. I’m excited for you all to meet her. Hopefully everyone is on their best behavior,” Choso murmurs, face serious.

The slight warning in Choso’s tone makes Yuji sit up. “Hey! Eso’s the asshole. Worry about him. Me and Kechizu will be sooooo nice.”

Choso nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “Okay, good. I’m really nervous so that’s good to hear.”

Choso was glad Yuji volunteered to cook since he loves doing it so much. Otherwise, he’d be ordering takeout. Kechizu talks too much and spits when he speaks, so he was banned from cooking a long time ago. Eso sweats so much, Choso fears he’s eaten the strange smelly goop that forms on his back at some point in time. He was banned, too. Choso can’t cook to save his life, so he sticks to making money, ordering food and keeping a roof over everyone’s head. It’s only when Yuji came to live with them, that the brothers had experienced a real home cooked meal.

It was delicious. And while Choso doesn’t insist Yuji makes dinner often, Yuji enjoys doing so. Choso appreciates that his baby brother uses his cooking skills as a way to bring the family together when time permits.

He sighs as his eyes scan over the items in the shopping basket. He’s almost finished, which is a relief to him. He wants to get back home to clean up for tomorrow. He hopes the dinner goes well, that you like his brothers and that his brothers like you.

After grabbing the last ingredient on the list, Choso waits in the checkout line to pay. He wonders what you’re doing. You’ve been busy since the last time he saw you. Today, you had plans so he would actually have to wait until tomorrow to see you. 

Didn’t mean he couldn’t call you, though.

He pulls his phone from his pants, dials your number and lets it ring. You answer on the fourth.

“Hey,” you answer sweetly. He can hear the familiar sound of wheels skidding and slamming against the pavement. You must be out shooting.

“Hey, babe. I was just calling to talk for a minute. I’m at the store right now getting stuff for tomorrow. Wanted to see what you’re up to.”

There’s some rustling on your end and then it’s quiet for a bit. Choso waits patiently. You’re probably trying to get away from the ruckus.

“Sorry, it was a little loud,” you tell him. “I just finished up a shoot at one of the parks. Packing up and then I’m going to grab lunch with Suguru.”

Choso ignores the tightness in his chest from hearing his name. “Oh. Sounds fun.”

“Yeah, but I’m so tired. I’ve been out all morning so I won’t be out too long. I’ll probably go straight home after.”

“With him?” Choso blurts out before he can stop himself. He closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose because he probably sounds so fucking pathetic now. Worrying about you going home with a man you were seeing long before you’d met him; a man who you were open and honest about still having feelings for, still seeing. A man Choso said it was okay for you to continue seeing while you got to know each other. 

Even so, he can’t help the nagging feeling of jealousy.

“No? Just me…” You’re quiet for a moment before you ask, “Are you okay?” He can hear you zipping your bags. You’ll be leaving the park soon...with Suguru. He doesn’t want to ruin your time out with friends and…him. Well, he does want to ruin your time out with friends and him, but Choso likes to think he’s a little more mature than that. So he does what any mature jealous person does – He lies.

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

The cashier waves Choso forward and he sets his basket on to the checkout belt.

“You just never really ask about Suguru…I was just wondering if you’re alright.”

Choso hardly asks about Suguru because he doesn’t want to hear about Suguru. Although at some point in time he told you he was willing to wait for you to come to your senses, he sometimes wonders if you ever will.

Choso enjoys going with the flow. He’s chill, avoids drama the best he can. He’s laid back. But that doesn’t make him an idiot. He knows your history with Suguru. And he gets it…sort of. A year is a long time to have your feelings toyed with. To be dragged along for the ride, constantly pulled close only to be pushed away. 

From what Choso knows, it was less about building a relationship with you and all about the sex for Suguru. But for you…you wanted so much more from him and he didn’t want to give that to you. At least, not until Choso entered the picture. It seemed suddenly the asshole had finally opened his eyes and realized how good you were. That, or he was trying to keep you from realizing you deserved better than him. Choso would bet on the latter.

Because how could Suguru have not seen it in the first place? How could he have not chosen to give you more when you’d asked the first time?

Choso thinks Suguru’s a fucking idiot, an actual monkey.

Actually, Choso’s pretty sure a monkey is smarter than Suguru at this point. Of course, he doesn’t voice this to you. You’ve got history with Suguru, no matter how shitty. He’s still the new guy in your life and he likes you a lot. He doesn’t want to ruin anything.

But fuck, he wishes you’d open your eyes to how much of a piece of shit Suguru is.

It’s easy enough for Choso to give Suguru zero energy when they’re in the same area together. It’s not like they had much communication with each other before, if any. Now it seemed Choso couldn’t escape him.

“Choso?”

“Sir?”

The cashier’s voice and yours pull him back to the present at the same time. The cashier points to the screen, the total waiting to be paid.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly to both you and the cashier. “Um, I have to go, baby. Text me later?”

“Sure. I’ll text you when I get home.”

“Cool, uh…have fun.”

He ends the call, pocketing his phone and taking his wallet out so he can pay and get out of the way. He takes his receipt from the cashier before grabbing the bag of groceries and exiting the store.

----------

The next evening finds Choso frantically setting up the table for dinner. You’d be here at any moment and he wants the place to look perfect. Unfortunately, Eso and Kechizu got called into work so it would only be you, Choso and Yuji for dinner. Probably for the best. He loves his brothers, but they can be a bit much all at once. Better not to get Eso worked up anyway. The entire house would smell.

Choso’s got a bouquet of roses in a new vase in the center of the table. Yuji’s idea. He’s not sure when or how his little brother became such a romantic, but he’s grateful for any tips.

Choso doesn’t date much, doesn’t have time for it. It’s not that he’s not interested in finding someone, but his lifestyle keeps him so busy, it’s hard to find someone understanding enough to tolerate it. And then he met you. You work in his field (sort of) and you’re just as busy if not more. You understand that travel is a part of his job and there will be times when he’s unavailable. You’re patient when he’s unavailable for long periods of time. You’re what he wants in a partner in all honesty.

Yuji brings the food over and begins plating the two plates sitting next to each other. He’s so fancy in his little apron; like a real chef. Choso wonders if he gets his love and talent for cooking from his side of the family. Probably, since Choso and all of his brothers can’t cook.

The doorbell rings indicating your arrival.

“Oh, she’s here!” He exclaims, rushing back to the kitchen to put the pans away as Choso heads to the door. He swings the door open, unable to stop the wide smile that spreads across his face when he sees you. 

Damn, he missed you. 

You’re standing there, all smiles too, in a cute little dress that hugs you in all the right places. You look incredible. It gets the usual reaction from Choso that he has to go above and beyond to hide any time he’s around you – a subtle, persistent throbbing between his legs. It takes a lot for him not to blatantly stare.

Instead, he leans down and presses a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Hey babe,” he greets you, lacing his fingers through yours and pulling you inside.

“Hey,” you say back, gifting Choso with a shy smile.

“You look great.”

“Thank you.”

Choso’s lips are on yours as soon as the door shuts, arms looping around your waist to pull you closer. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him forward to deepen the kiss. You open your mouth to him and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue past your teeth and press the soft muscle against yours. You both stand in the entryway, lips slotting against each other, Choso’s hands gliding up and down your back as he holds you close. When you moan softly into his mouth, that throbbing between his legs grows and he reluctantly breaks the kiss.

You peer up at him through your lashes, so fucking pretty it only makes the throbbing grow almost painful. So he turns away from you if only to calm himself down. It’s always like this with you. It feels like someone is playing a cruel and twisted joke on him, because he told you he had no issue waiting for sex. And he doesn’t. But fuck, you always look so good, smell so sweet. It’s hard for him to not want to break his little rule.

Choso takes a deep breath before his hand finds yours again, leading you into the apartment.

“It smells great in here,” you comment. “I’m so excited to meet your brothers.”

“Just brother. Eso and Kechizu had to work unfortunately, but Yuji is here,” Choso explains. “He actually cooked tonight.”

“Really?! Can’t wait to try it!”

When you get to the dining area, Choso pulls your seat out for you so you can sit down. It’s only as Yuji emerges from the kitchen that Choso notices the third placemat and dining set is now missing. Yuji beams when he sees you, coming to sit in the seat across from you.

“Hi! I’m Yuji.”

You introduce yourself to Yuji as well, smiling when Yuji proceeds to tell you how much Choso talks about you and how happy he looks lately. He showers you with compliments on your looks and Choso wonders where the hell all this charm came from. Certainly not from Choso’s side of the family. 

“Thank you, Yuji. You’re so sweet. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. Your brother talks about you all the time.”

Yuji rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance. “He’s just a little obsessed.”

You laugh, because you’d agree. Choso loves his brothers more than anything in this world. It’s obvious. But it’s adorable. Something you really like about him.

“He just really cares about you. That’s all.”

“You’re not eating with us?” Choso asks suddenly, probably sounding a lot more disappointed about it than he intended.

Yuji smiles sadly. “Sorry, big bro. Nobara and Fushiguro invited me out while I was cooking. I didn’t want to say anything before but…” he looks between you and Choso. “If I had to choose between third wheeling with my friends or you two, I’m gonna choose them.”

Choso doesn’t miss how Yuji just so happens to use the nickname he’s always begging his little brother to call him. It’s his weak spot and Yuji knows it, knows he’ll get away with anything as long as he calls Choso his big bro. 

Choso nods. “Have fun. Don’t stay out too late or I’ll send Eso to get you.”

Yuji scowls, muttering about how embarrassing Eso is before he stands. His expression shifts into a grin and he claps his hands together. “I really put my all into this dinner so I hope you both enjoy! Eat it while it’s hot! It was nice meeting you.”

“You, too, Yuji. Have fun with your friends.”

The front door closes shortly after. Choso sighs, taking your hand in his.

“I’m sorry,” he frowns. “I said you’d meet my brothers and all plans fell through.”

You reach a hand forward and cup Choso’s face, your thumb gently caressing over the tattooed line on that side. “Choso, it’s okay. As long as I get to spend time with you, I don’t mind.”

Choso beams, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your lips. “You’re too good to me.”

You shake your head. “You’re too good to me.”

----------

Dinner goes well. The food is spectacular. Choso can’t wait to tell Yuji how much you enjoyed the food. You and Choso in deep discussion while washing dishes together about the third Cheetah Girls movie and why it’s your least favorite, save for a few songs. It’s oddly domestic. He has many opinions on the breakup of the group, but promises to save that discussion for later. 

Choso talks about his competitions, you congratulating him on how well he’s been doing. It makes his cheeks burn red with embarrassment and happiness all at the same time. He offers to show you his trophies once you’re finished cleaning up and you happily accept the invitation. 

After drying the last dish, Choso leads you to his bedroom to show you some of his favorite competition wins. They line the built-in wall shelves. Choso grabs the trophy he’d won at the televised event where he’d essentially confessed to you on live tv from the shelf. 

You take a seat on the edge of Choso’s bed, as he wanders over with it. He watches as you bring your arms above your head, stretching your back and Choso has to turn his gaze away from you briefly. You make the most mundane actions look so enticing and it drives him crazy how much he wants you. He wants more than just kisses, more than just holding hands.

Choso clears his throat before he turns his gaze back to you and holds the trophy up. “I think this one’s my favorite,” he tells you. “For obvious reasons.”

You smile bashfully. “I think that’s my favorite, too.”

He places the trophy back in its spot before he crosses the room again and sits next to you on his bed, leaning back to prop himself up on his elbows. You place your hand on Choso’s thigh, patting lightly and his bodily response is immediate, the earlier throbbing now making its presence known again. Choso sits up quickly, clearing his throat.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks and you nod, closing the distance with an “of course” before your lips are on his. The hand on his thigh runs gently along the length of his quad, making his breaths come a little more rapidly with each kiss. Choso’s large hand comes up to grip the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. It’s hungry, all tongue and soft sighs into each other's mouths as your lips caress.

When you finally pull away, Choso finds himself chasing your lips with a quiet whimper. 

“Thank you so much for dinner, Choso. Everything was great and I had a really good time,” you tell him.

Choso leans forward, presses his forehead to yours. “You sound like you’re about to head out.”

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” you whisper and there’s a hint of sadness in your voice.

“Baby,” he mutters softly. “You could never.” He ghosts his lips over yours, placing soft pecks to the corners of your mouth. “Stay as long as you want. I like having you here.”

“Choso…” you breathe against him, the hand on his thigh squeezing gently. “If I stay…” 

He trails kisses along your jaw, featherlight, so soft you can barely feel it. And yet, your chest rises and falls rapidly with each breath. “If you stay?”

You sigh, pulling back. You’re no doubt trying to change the subject with some excuse to run out of here. “I’m just really tired. Prepping for this shoot has been draining the shit out of me. Tonight has been amazing. I just don’t want to bring the mood down with how stressed I am.”

Choso hums, nodding, eyes now fixed on the spot where your hand rests. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

The pause is long as he awaits your answer, the heat of your hand radiating through the fabric of Choso’s pants and making the throbbing between his legs even worse, if possible. You watch Choso closely, eyes following where his dark orbs are focused on.

“I don’t know…” you mutter softly, fingers lightly squeezing Choso’s thigh. He bites back the low groan threatening to escape. His gaze drifts up to your glossed lips. 

“Well, how do you usually relieve stress?” Choso asks, the heat quickly pooling in his center as your hand coasts along his thigh.

You give him a knowing look, biting down on your bottom lip. He understands.

“I have an idea,” He responds quietly, shifting on the bed.

“What’s your idea?”

He wants to kiss you again, feel your mouth against his. He always wants to kiss you. Ever since he met you, it’s been all he’s done. Of course Choso wants to do more with you. He fantasizes about it. But he told you he’d wait for you to make a choice first. He didn’t want to make you feel like he only wanted sex from you, the way he made you feel.

But, while sex isn’t the only thing he wants, he does want it. When he sees the tip of your pink tongue dart out to swipe across your bottom lip, he can only hope you’re both thinking the same thing.

“I want you,” he blurts out, unable to hold back his honesty.

“Choso…” you sigh his name and it only makes him want you more. “ I want you, too.”

“I know I said there’s no rush for sex, but it doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.”

You bite your lip again, eyes searching Choso’s. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, but for purely selfish reasons if I’m being honest.”

You cock your head to the side in confusion.

“Making you feel good will make me feel good,” he explains.

You nod, giving Choso the green light. “Okay.” 

He scoots back to lay on his bed, pulling you along with him. “Come here, baby,” he coaxes as he lays down on his back. His hands find your hips, positioning you so that you’re straddling his chest.

“Closer,” Choso says, his thumbs tracing circles on your hips.

“Okay,” you murmur, scooting forward until your plush thighs are on either side of his head. His hands slide down your hips, to the hem of your dress that’s already ridden up enough that Choso can catch a peek of your panties.

“Can I?” He asks, pinching the hem of the fabric between his fingers.

“Yes, Choso,” you pant in anticipation.

He peels your dress up, getting a full view of your core. Your panties hug your pussy so nicely, a small wet spot from your arousal forming right in the center. Choso wants nothing more than to bury his face between your legs, have you crying out his name over and over, give you everything you want and more. But instead he turns his head to the side and presses a tender kiss to the inside of one of your thighs, then turns his head to do the same to the other. The sound of your breath hitching in your throat makes Choso pause.

“Is this okay?”

You nod, your hand coming down to comb your fingers through his hair. It makes him shiver, makes his cock stiffen further. “It’s fine. I’m fine, Choso. Make me feel good.”

Fuck, the reassurance only makes him harder, lets him know he doesn’t need to hold back anymore. But he still nods, wraps his arms around your lush thighs, squeezing softly. 

He kisses your thighs again, trailing soft touches all the way up to your center, leaving a soft peck directly to that dark little wet spot. He chuckles when you roll your hips forward at the contact, then he trails soft kisses back down your other thigh. 

“You’re so pretty like this, baby,” he kisses your center again. “All for me,” he mutters against your undergarments.

Choso pulls back, eyes locked to that sweet spot spreading along the fabric of your panties when he whispers a soft, “Let me take care of you,” and then he’s pulling you down by your thighs, meeting you halfway to latch his hot mouth directly onto your clothed pussy. 

A mixture of your moans and Choso’s fill the room, the vibrations shooting straight to your clit. You gasp, rolling your hips forward to grind yourself against Choso’s face, a soft moan rushing past your lips. He lets you ride his tongue, his saliva soaking through the fabric. You taste incredible and he hasn’t even truly experienced you yet. 

“Oh my god,” you whine before Choso halts your movements with his hands. He runs his tongue over your panties, long and slow, his hips bucking into the air when the fingers in his hair tighten into a fist, your other hand finding purchase on his headboard. He presses his nose into the center of your panties and inhales deeply, eyes rolling to the back of his head when your sweet aroma fills his senses.

“Fuck, I bet this pussy tastes so good without this in the way.”

You whimper above Choso as he hooks a finger into your panties and pulls them to the side, groaning softly when he finally gets a good look at your cunt, glistening with the mixture of your slick and his saliva. It’s prettier than he could’ve ever imagined. He wants a taste.

His free hand squeezes your thigh lightly just as Choso pushes his tongue between your folds and runs a hot, languid lick up your core. He feels your body shudder above him, his own body following when he finally gets a full taste of you. He gives your clit a small lick before pulling it into his mouth, sucking lightly, unable to keep his hips from thrusting up again when you gasp above him. He moans, the vibration leaving you panting.

“Shit! So good, Choso, that’s so good.”

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, voice muffled as he buries his face in your cunt again, licking and sucking your clit until you’re grinding your own hips down on him.

“Yes, yes, yes! Don’t stop.”

He groans, hands squeezing your thighs to spread them further open for him. His tongue grazes your clit, swirling around the sensitive bud over and over until you’re a whimpering mess above him. You taste better than he could’ve ever imagined – saccharinely sweet. He pulls you forward, your hips bucking when his tongue slips into your entrance. He can feel your walls clench in response, groaning when your knees tighten on each side of his head. 

The grip in his hair loosens, your other arm shooting up to grab hold of the headboard with both hands to keep from falling over. Choso thrusts his tongue into your hole, moaning when he feels you moving your hips on your own, fucking yourself on his mouth. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cry out.

Choso pulls out of your hole, moving his mouth to wrap his soft lips around your clit again, sucking hard. 

"Oh, Choso," you mewl, the new sensation making your grip on the headboard loosen, falling forward onto your hands. The new position gives Choso much better access, his hands letting go of your thighs to cup your ass. With one hand, he spreads one of your cheeks. With the other, he easily slips two fingers into your sopping hole.

“Fuuuuuck,” Choso moans into your cunt when he feels your tight pussy clench down on his fingers. He loves making you feel good, having you moaning and whining but, goddamn, he’s so hard, he’s thrusting into the air, trying and failing to find any sort of friction. It’s torturous. He can feel his erection, painful and sticky in his pants. He’ll definitely have to take care of himself after you’re gone.

Choso curls his fingers, smirking when he feels your thighs immediately begin to quiver around his head.

“You close?” He asks before pressing the flat of his tongue against your clit just as he curls his digits inside you again. 

You don’t even get a chance to answer him, your hands tugging his sheets as they ball into fists. The only sounds that can be heard are your hushed moans that grow gradually louder as you grind your hips down against Choso’s face along with the lewd slurping of Choso’s mouth as he laps up your release. You’re coming undone, walls clenching around his fingers, as your body spasms with your orgasm.

And Choso waits, pumping his fingers into you and gently licking through your folds until he finally feels you relax above him. He pulls his digits out of you, placing a soft kiss to your swollen cunt before he pulls your panties back into place and helps you scoot down his torso until you’re seated on his groin. 

You’re watching him close, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath, pupils blown with desire. Choso brings his fingers up to his face, spreading and closing them like a pair of scissors, watching the sticky strings of your slick spread between them. His eyes stay locked with yours as he opens his mouth and slides his fingers in, wrapping his lips around them and sucking them clean. He lets them go with a loud pop.

“You taste fucking amazing,” he groans, his hips coming up to grind against your ass.

Your head cocks to the side when you feel his hardness against you. “Looks like you need someone to make you feel good, too.” You suggest, leaning forward to place sweet kisses down Choso’s cheek, his neck and chest. You kiss all the way down his abs and the fire in Choso’s belly grows as you get closer to your destination. 

He watches as you slip your hands into the waistband of his pants and pull them off. He moans when you lean forward and press those pretty fucking lips to his throbbing, clothed cock and it’s involuntary, the way his hips come up on reflex. 

He groans quietly, watching your lips curl up in a small smirk. You already know the effect you have on him without doing much at all. Minx.

Your eyes lock with Choso’s, hands finding the waistband of his boxers right before you press another hot and tender kiss to his core, Choso’s back arching at the contact.

“Fuck.” 

Keep doing that and he’s going to cum in his pants. At this moment he wouldn’t mind. It would be a welcome relief. He’d just have to hope you’d understand if it came to that. You’re just so sexy; a seductress when you want to be. How could he not blow his load when he’s got the perfect view of you right now settled between his legs? Face down, ass up in the air, back arched so he can see those beautiful round cheeks of yours. He kind of regrets opting for not going all the way tonight because he’d love to feel that little pussy contract around his dick like it just did on his tongue not that long ago.

The thought makes his cock jump within the confines of his underwear.

Gaze still glued to Choso’s, you tug lightly at the waistband of his boxers before your soft voice asks, “Can I?”

He doesn’t think about it for a second.

“Do whatever you want,” he tilts his hips up, letting you slide his boxers off for him. “It’s yours, baby.”

His cock springs free with a loud smack against his lower belly. It’s long, thick, with a large vein running right up the underside until it reaches the angry red tip. The entire length is sticky, precum slathered over it. You settle yourself between his legs again as you take in the sight of him exposed to you.

“I want to make you feel good, too.”

You take his length into your mouth before he can argue, your lips closing around the head. “Ah– shit,” Choso grunts, bringing a hand up to the back of your head. From here, Choso thinks he has the perfect view of you. It turns him on beyond measure and he jerks his hips forward, shoving his cock further into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. “Sorry, fuck. I’m sorry.” He moans, pulling out of your mouth.

You shake your head, waving off his concern. “It’s okay, Choso. I like it.”

You’re back on his dick, humming when Choso fills the cavern of your mouth, the vibrations making him shiver. His hand finds the back of your head again, Choso rolling his hips up so he can shove his cock down your throat again, over and over. And you take it so good, relaxing your throat for him so it’s easy. 

“Your mouth feels amazing,” Choso grunts, pumping into you. The sound of his balls slapping against your chin makes his eyes roll back, a pleasure shooting straight up his spine.

It feels so fucking good. Too fucking good.

Yeah, he’s not going to last very long here.

You release his dick, running your tongue along that vein on the underside of his cock, pulling a string of curses from Choso. You lick from the base of his length all the way to the tip, teasing the slit of his cock with your tongue, lapping up the bead of precum that sits there. 

"Fuck!"

You kiss down the length of his dick, bringing your attention to his balls, running your tongue right between the two orbs before bringing one into your mouth and sucking. Your hand wraps around Choso’s length, stroking him up and down.

A liquid heat pools in Choso’s core, the threat of his orgasm quickly approaching. He doesn’t want to cum yet. He’s been wanting this for a long time, to be intimate in more ways than just kissing and cuddling. It feels way too good. He wants to savor this. But damn, if you keep going like this–

You wrap your lips around Choso’s cock, taking his entire length in your mouth in one motion. The sudden tight warmth makes Choso’s back arch, has his hands flying to the back of your head to hold you in place.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. Don’t move, baby,” he pants, holding your face to his groin so he can fuck your throat. And then you open your throat for him, relaxing for just a moment before you constrict around his cock and the sensation that shoots through Choso’s dick makes him pull you back. You let go with an obnoxious pop as Choso grabs the base of his dick.

He can’t stave it off, not when he sees your swollen lips, your tear stained cheeks, the line of drool dangling from your chin.

“Fuck, baby, I can’t. I’m–I’m gonna cum,” he warns.

You lean forward, opening your mouth, tongue hanging out in invitation. “Give it to me, Choso. I want your cum, baby. Gimme all of it.”

God, you’re so fucking sexy.

He feels his balls tighten, feels the rush in the palm of his hand as he pumps his cock, his free  hand coming to hold the back of your head in position before thick, hot spurts of his cum shoot from the tip and paint your tongue white with his seed.

“Oh god,” he groans through gritted teeth. He keeps pumping, watching as you quickly put your tongue back in your mouth and swallow before you stick it back out for him. It’s so much cum and you take it all, swallowing without him even asking you to. Even wrapping your lips around the tip and sucking so you don’t waste a drop. 

“You’re so good to me,” Choso whispers when he’s finally emptied his load on your tongue.  Breaths coming rapidly, he watches you climb along the length of his body until you’re face to face. He can smell his release on your breath, and then he’s tasting it when you press an open mouthed kiss to his lips, moaning when he tastes the mixture of his release and yours on his tongue.

“Thank you,” you say after breaking the kiss. “I feel a lot better now.”

Choso chuckles, running his hands along your spine. “Good. Me, too.”

----------

You’re both sitting in the bath Choso has run for you, Choso positioned behind you as he gently lathers your shoulders. You’ll be heading home after this, but Choso wanted to treat you to more relaxation before you left. He also wanted an excuse to spend more time with you because the next time he’d see you would likely be the photoshoot. And as exciting as that was, he had a nagging feeling things would be tense.

“In all seriousness, how are you feeling now?” Choso asks, gently splashing water over your shoulders to rinse the soap off. Your hands swirl the bubbles around in the bath.

“Better. Still a little stressed, but that’s to be expected with everything that goes into prepping for these shoots. Then there’s you and Suguru…”

You cut yourself off.

“What about us?”

“I’m just worried how it’ll go with you both there.”

Choso nods in understanding. He quietly mulls over his thoughts. 

“You and Suguru haven’t really been around each other for long periods of time before. These shoots take hours and I just don’t want things to be weird between you two.”

“Did you have this talk with Suguru, too?” He questions, curiously. He should really be the one you're worried.

You nod, leaning back against Choso’s chest. “Of course. He’s the one I’m most worried about causing a scene…That was why we went to lunch together the other day –  to talk about this. He’s really not good with his emotions, but he promised to behave. Said he’s working on accepting that he’s not my only priority anymore.”

Choso chuckles, placing a light kiss to the back of your neck. “Oh? Who else has your attention? Should I be jealous?”

You laugh lightly. “Please. You don’t strike me as the jealous type.”

‘You don’t know me very well, then,’ Choso thinks.

The fact that Suguru gets even a crumb of your undeserved attention drives Choso insane. You’re a toy to him, something for him to keep in his back pocket when he’s bored and needs something to preoccupy his time. He’s not sure how you don’t see it. You’ve mistaken familiarity and comfort with love. It makes sense after suffering through Suguru’s antics for so long. 

All this time, Choso’s been passive, playing the long game while Suguru makes an ass of himself time and time again, hoping you’ll see him for the piece of shit he is. But nothing changes. Choso watches and waits, just going with the flow until you finally come to your senses and make the right choice – him. But nothing changes.

Choso leans down, burying his nose in your hair before he places a sweet kiss to your temple.

He won’t sit back anymore.

In this moment of relaxation before everything goes to shit, Choso wraps his arms around you and he decides it’s time to fight.

Tags: @eiflawriting @mimiszworld @mighty-luna @re-dd0 @k4zuhasleaf @nekonanamiiii @Sacvh @suguju @watyousayin @nothisispatrick300 @sukunasseventhfinger @mykyoon @athenaholmesher @nobody289x @OUTTHEBASEMENTNAE @alpacapum @cherribxio @gloomiigloom @xocreedvo @ficti0nalslxt @getousbabymama @510hz

[lailawinchesterr]

Remedy Sneak Peak

So glad everyone is enjoying remedy so far, I’ve decided to def make it longer than three parts since I added a little something extra to the plot. It’s coming out the 24th I believe? We’ll see, but it won’t be later than that. Here’s a little (long) piece of my baby so far:

You settle on your favorite jeans and a dark green long sleeve shirt. It’s cold but not enough to warrant a hoodie, not that you have that many, anyways. They ruin your outfits. Sometimes. 

The second you're done you attempt to add some color back into your face after so much studying. Some blush, a little gloss, a lot of highlight. And there. Presentable— you would even go so far as to say, pretty— which is what gives you the courage to go to Jess’s room. She’s on Gen’s lap and— oh. That’s… yep they’re making out. Maybe you should try to knock sometime?

“I hate you…” Jess wines after she whips her head to see you come in. They’d been too occupied to think of locking the door. “…what are you wearing?”

Is it… oh God, do you look that bad? You actually really like the outfit, even your hair and makeup. “What, what’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, you’re so fucking gorgeous but why are you dressed up like this— you whore! Is that highlight?”

Contrary to Jess’s beliefs, you can clean up nice when you want to. In all honesty, you’re always trying your best to look as good as you can, in small ways. Accessories, new hairstyles, always having your outfits on hand by taking pictures of the ones you like the most. Even if it’s casual like right now, because you know these two colors match well. But as far as makeup goes, your gloss and blush are all you need. Anything extra and you want to impress a guy. 

Not Jess’s words. Yours. 

“I hate you, slut.”

“Not the point. Where are you going?”

“Out.” You say quietly from your spot in the doorway. Yeah, make her feel like you’re on a top secret mission while you’re at it. “With Sam.”

Gen’s the one that sits up this time. “Sam? Right now? It’s eight o’clock.”

You nod then shrug. So? He only said it’d be a drive. You walk towards her to lean down and pull her into a quick hug.  “It might not even be an hour, don’t worry. Will you be here when I get back?” She kisses your cheek in response, so she’s sleeping over and then Jess pulls you down to the bed.

“What is happening right now?!” 

“Way to be cool about it.”

“I’m not trying to be cool about anything. First off, send me your location so I don’t bother you if you decide to go back to his house—.”

“Not happening.” You dust yourself off and walk away slowly.

“— second, tell me everything when you’re back. And be responsible. And take my power bank so your phone stays charged. And make sure he brings you back home, don’t fucking Uber!” You’re half way out of her room as she screams the rest of her long, very reasonable, list. 

You already took your own power bank and you checked your purse ten times for money, gum and keys. You’ll be fine. 

You shout an ‘I love you’ as you spray on your perfume and get some water. Mentally preparing for a night out alone with a guy? Super hard. You don’t think Jess knows. Maybe you mentioned it, but it doesn’t matter, she wouldn’t understand how big of a deal this is to you. Obviously because she’s into girls, but it’s also ‘cause she didn’t grow up like you. None of these people did. Especially not Sam. 

I’m two minutes away.

Okay. Mentally preparing time is cut short. You can do this. You’re a big girl who’s turning eighteen in a few (six) months. You’ve got this. More perfume and yeah, okay. Time to go. Why aren’t your feet moving?

Missed the last part? Here! Comment if you wanna be tagged.

tag list: @angzls @chxrrybomb22 @pinkpantheris @ang3ldool @iloveragdollcats 

@oohjana18294 @user-2538484747490203746579403 @wattpaduser200 @s0urw00lf @ashlynyyyyy

[nineevees]

general thoughts on the wk “our blue and green world” special (for funsies)

they had me in the beginning, by the end they completely lost me tho lolol

!! SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODE YET !!

things i liked:

the intro was!! very good!! loved how they started in space and then gradually zoomed into earth, that was really fun :D

always excited to see how the background of the final shot changes in these specials !!

right away i am so glad they finally color corrected everything i couldn’t stand how bright everything was in season 6 T_T

chris being able to just effortlessly fold his t-shirts into a stack made me laugh lol

i don’t care if anyone says the song sounded flat as hell. the disbelief i had when it first came on. “what is this music what is goin- IS THIS A SONG??” the pure, unadulterated joy i experienced from it. it may be cringe but it has set me free.

idk. i’m just glad to see all these characters back after the hiatus :D

the resplendent quetzal is!! so cool!! so pretty!! i’d love an episode just dedicated to it

saw someone say this already but common aviva W for inventing two creature power discs at once !! it’s her world we are simply all living in it

BLUE WHALES ARE AS BIG AS TWO BRONTOSAURUSES?? waow

i think ever since i’ve gotten past the age of. elementary school. martin’s nicknames for animals have been kind of hit-or-miss for me? (though it might just depend on who’s writing the script i dunno) but i liked kablooey!! (kabluey?) it’s a very cute name :D

zach remembered that he has hacker bots he can use (which are. arguably his best invention?? i’m pretty sure?? i get why they don’t use them every single time zach shows up bc that would get old quickly but it establishes that despite being a whiny man-child who couldn’t tell a walrus from a wombat or a wallaby, he can still be a threat to the wk team)

indri lemur my beloved 🫶🫶

and everyone’s been talking about that so um. let me throw my hat into the ring then.

i can see the intention behind trying to redeem paisley, but it just. doesn’t really match with what’s been established by her character?

the entire special hit me with subsequent punches of “wow this is a kid’s show and i am NOT the target demographic” when they were talking about the water cycle and explaining global warming. so it makes sense, in a sort of wish-fulfillment kind of way that they’d try and redeem the villain whose goal is arguably the most realistic out of the main four.

zach’s main gimmick is using wild animals for his own technology. donita uses wild animals for fashion. gourmand cooks and eats wild animals. yes, the latter two can and do happen in real life (not… really sure about zach’s but that’s not the point). but paisley’s gimmick was never about harming animals, but destroying the environment they live in, in order to build things for humans instead. she’s the kind of person who you’d most likely encounter in real life. redeeming paisley has nothing to do with her character (a businesswoman who finds nature “yucky” as seen in the spirit bear and Asian elephant episodes), instead her general gimmick. wouldn’t it be nice if we could get the people destroying animals’ homes to truly see how beautiful nature can be? so much so that they stop trying to destroy it and instead attempt to help preserve it?

(this is just a personal nitpick but paisley’s new design absolutely is NOT working for me srry)

after i watched the special i had some ideas abt how it potentially could have gone instead?:

don’t redeem paisley at all: again, i get the general idea of why they did this but also. it doesn’t?? line up with her character at all?? the way she was acting in the beginning was fine and perfectly in character for her. she just wants nature out of the way in order to complete her plans, and she has no time for zach being overly concerned with the wild kratts. you could argue that her knowing that dolphins and whales weren’t fish but mammals was foreshadowing to her redemption, but like… paisley’s not dumb?? donita has also corrected zach on not knowing his animals in the past so unless you’re also going to argue for a possible donita redemption in the future then. yeah. i dunno. the other villains didn’t need a redemption to make the special they were in interesting, i don’t see how this one should be any different.

another redemption fake-out, but do it much earlier in the story: i have. my own gripes about how the plot of this special went but we’ll save that for later. have paisley initially be dismissive of the wild kratts’s presence, but once she learns that the kratt brothers are arguing and that aviva, koki, and jimmy are spending all of their time trying to get them to make up, pounce on that opportunity. have her go all over-the-top (like she did in her canon redemption) and trick the wild kratts into thinking she’s turned good, only for her to turn on them in the second half. this might be too similar to “a creature christmas” though. this one would take up more of the plot if that’s any consolation?

give a hint to a paisley redemption arc, but don’t make her do a complete 180 right away: if they’re adamant on redeeming paisley (again, i see the general idea behind this gimmick-wise), then they could still do it and make it fit with her character. remember that paisley’s intentions are not to harm animals, but their environment (which is not any better, making that clear). she can still have her awed-by-coral moment, but maybe. tone it down?? she can have second thoughts about going with the plan, but have zach or rex* encourage her to continue. she steels her resolve, but remembers the coral, and hesitates. and the kratt brothers use that last-minute hesitation to defeat zach’s zachbots and paisley’s pavers. have paisley question why she couldn’t go through with it as she and zach leave madagascar. you could have aviva or one of the other wild kratts theorize that paisley has started to have a change of heart after seeing what nature is capable of, if left to thrive. but again: don’t redeem her right away. hint at it, and then explore it whenever she appears as the main antagonist in an episode of season 7.

*i’m admittedly not caught up on all of wk, but like. did paisley fire rex or something. WHERE WAS HE THIS ENTIRE SPECIAL??

as for the plot point of the kratt brothers fighting… yeah that definitely could have gone better.

(again, minor nitpick but jimmy saying that this was the first time he’s seen the brothers fight,, then implied that it happened every single laundry day,, but also he’s definitely seen them fight before? or had disagreements at least?? isn’t that the premise of at least two different episodes not counting this special. this script is also Not My Favorite. not sure how to explain it but some of the dialogue seems a little awkward?)

ik that the brothers get into danger 24/7 but i feel like. martin should be a little bit concerned that chris was getting squeezed to death by a green anaconda?? like you don’t have to make him overtly worried to the point of apologizing, but you could at least. make him look at chris with concern? i get that the point is that “oh no the brothers are fighting so they won’t help each other when one’s in danger” but. martin your brother is dying STOP SMILING NONCHALANTLY.

the resolution between the brothers was. kind of rushed? all it took was chris complimenting martin (“nice one, bro!”) and then activating some creature powers and then everything was fine. is. is that all it took?

if you liked it then that’s 100% fine !! i’m glad you enjoyed it :D it just wasn’t for me

just my personal preference but i think i would have preferred it if we spent more time with the brothers solo (martin at sea and chris in the rainforest) and have them come to their realizations that the planet needs both blues and greens to thrive separately. like martin sees the planktonic soup and acknowledges that the creatures who live in the ocean need a little green to survive. or chris sees how important rivers are in the amazon and remembers how the rivers will eventually flow into the ocean. and both of the brothers remember their adventures with each other (or aviva, koki, and jimmy remind them). they can still be stubborn and not forgive each other, but i’d like them to at least like. acknowledge each other’s pov and respect it.

or: do something with aviva trying to program two creature power suits at once (the brothers are both in madagascar at this point). like, what if there was a creature power suit malfunction where martin is a blue whale at first, but then turns into an indri. and chris starts our as an indri but then his suit malfunctions and he becomes a blue whale. the bros swap places, with martin going on land and chris going to sea, and then they realize that the other had a point - the land is home to so many wonderful creatures and so are the oceans. and how both are connected and make the earth their home. boom, reconciliation.

also another personal preference thing, i really wish they spent more time with kablooey/kabluey and mambiky (?). i’m here for cool creatures and i wanna see more of the cool creatures !! is that so much to ask for !!

also also. i think the indri-conda was born bc someone saw the pun potential and to that i say. no comment.

i still have. a lot of thoughts but i think i’ll just leave it there for now. ik i criticized it a lot but i did genuinely enjoy the special :D i’m happy to have the brothers back from hiatus and can’t wait to watch the other episodes !!

[leviathans-watching]

torture, is that you?

day 7: free day

includes: beel & belphie

wc: .6k | rated t | m.list

a/n: this was so fun to write ngl. and this is the last part for @ombrotherlylove2023!!

Belphie yawns as he steps into the cool morning air, taking in the fog lining the street. He can’t remember the last time he was up this early. 

“You actually made it outside,” Beel says appraisingly, looking him over. Belphie was dressed in a mishmash of workout clothes–Asmo’s sweats, one of Mammon’s t-shirts, and a hoodie of Beel’s somewhat swallowing him. “I’m glad the clothes fit.” 

“Yesh,” Belphie says through another yawn. Beel is way too chipper for it to be this early. “Why am I doing this, again?” 

“Oh, come on, have a better attitude than that. I promise you’ll like running. It’ll probably help you sleep better, anyway.” 

Belphie frowns. “I sleep just fine.” 

“Whatever, we’re doing this,” Beel says adamantly, motioning for Belphie to join him on the–ugh, gross–wet lawn. Couldn’t they have at least done this on a nice morning?

“It’s so beautiful out,” Beel hums, inhaling deeply, and he has got to be making fun of Belphie right now. What is wrong with runners?

Beel leads him through some warm-up stretches, and though he feels a little silly doing the dynamic ones, he sees it through anyway. Beel is taking the time to do this with him, and as much as he doesn’t want to, he’s not going to scorn his brother’s hard work. 

“Wow, you’re super flexible,” Beel compliments at one point. “Must be because of all of the weird positions you twist yourself into when you sleep.” 

“Ha ha,” Belphie says, breath clouding up in front of his face. 

Once they’re all warmed up or whatever, Beel explains the proper running posture, something Belphie didn’t even know existed. Couldn’t you just like… run? 

“Alright, let’s go,” Beel says, and Belphie reluctantly prepares himself. It’s only a mile, right? He can do a mile.

He cannot do a mile. 

“Beel,” he gasps. “Beel, I can’t breathe. You can, ah, go on ahead. Just let me catch my breath. Fuck.” 

“You’re alright,” Beel says, slowing to a stop. He’s not even the slightest bit winded. “Deep breathes in and out. Try not to pant. And,” he continues, “as much as I love you, this is just sad. We’re like, a block from the house. I can still see it.” 

“Shut up,” Belphie manages between breaths. “I told you, running’s not for me.” 

“Aw, come on,” Beel puts a hand on his shoulder, “it just takes some work. Everyone starts somewhere. And consistency is the most important thing. More important than ability, or skill, or even improvement.” 

“I don’t want to be consistent,” Belphie whines says like a mature adult. “I want to go home.” 

“Too bad,” Beel says. “Now come on. We can go slower, though. We’ve only got–” he checks his watch, “–point eight miles to go.” 

Belphie mutters some choice words under his breath but follows, hoping to god he doesn’t pull something. 

*

“I can’t move,” Belphie groans, everything aching. He’d made it through the hellish run but apparently, that wasn’t the end of the torture for him. 

“Yeah, your muscles probably aren’t used to doing that much work,” Beel says, and only the small smile he can’t quite hide tips Belphie off that he’s being made fun of. 

“Asshole.” 

“I’ll grab you an ice pack.” Beel stands, and Belphie glowers up at him. 

“Better make that two, dipshit. I’m never running again.” 

“That’s what you think,” Beel mutters ominously as he disappears towards the kitchen, and Belphie shouts after him. 

“Hey! Hey, Beel, what do you mean by that? I’m not running again, ever! Hey, Beelzebub, answer me!” He lets out a growl of frustration. “Goddamn it.” 

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[saitama-division]

ARB Birthday Special: Kureha Koizumi

~~ December 25th ~~

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be.”

Login Lines:

“I woke up to my phone going off like crazy, it nearly scared the hell out of me, I had thought something was wrong until I went to check it. Turns out it was just everyone wishing me either happy birthday, merry Christmas, or both. It was…nice…I’m still getting used to celebrating my birthday but having so many people wishing me well helps a lot.”

Voice Lines:

“Haah…It’s that time again, I’ve been trying to finish all of my holiday commission before Christmas but I’ve been getting more and more requests, I’m not complaining though, I could really use the money.”

“The snow looks really pretty today, it’s cold which is good. I remember watching the snow fall with…him…he was really pretty too…I miss him…”

“What do 22 year olds even do on their birthday? I don’t drink much and I refuse to go clubbing no matter what Lola says. Honestly, I much rather stay home or spend time with Sayaka, it’s always nice and warm whenever she’s around.”

“Ehhhh?! No way!! I can’t believe the Vox wished me a happy birthday! I mean, I know we’re in the DRB together but I never thought he’d noticed me! Holy shit, holy shit, this is awesome!”

“The art museum in Saitama did something special for me, the recently opened up a new art exhibition in my honor, it had all my favorite paintings and works from my favorite artists there! There was even some of my own works! I was so shocked but also really, really happy!”

“Thank you, Merry Christmas, Sayaka! I hope you liked my gift…Ah, that’s good, that makes me really happy, you’re welcome….Er, mom please, that’s so embarrassing, I’ve been grown up for a long while now besides, you have Yoshiko to dote over, I’m fine!…Mooom! Please! My face feels like it’s about to melt off!”

“Oh sick, mom! This is so cool! Thank you so much, I’m sure Kazu will love it! No, no, it’s fine, I’ve been meaning to get Kazu one of these for a while now but they’re usually so expensive and it looks super cool too, I love it and he’ll definitely love it. Aw, even when you’re looking for cat toys you’re still thinking of me, thank you, mom.”

“Merry Christmas, Lola. I see you’re back from wherever you’ve went, what? Did you not think I’d notice when you’re gone? Tsumugi’s a good actress but I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell when you’re not yourself or if there’s an imposter. I won’t ask for details, I’m just glad you’re back in time for Christmas…is that…is that blood?…Y’know what, nevermind, yes I’m sure now what is it that you got me?”

“Whoa! Are these gemstones? Wait, these are Yule Gemstones! Where the hell did you get these?! And how the hell do you know about them?! Ah…oh yeah, that’s right, I didn’t think you were listening…it’s not witchcraft, it’s Paganism, yes there’s a fucking difference. Shut it, he has nothing to do with my beliefs, still though, thank you for this, it’s really great.”

“Yoshiko! Hey, merry Christmas baby sister! Wow, you got that many presents huh? Well that’s no surprise, you’ve been a good girl all year and Santa knows that and is very happy with you. Hm? You got me something?”

“Awww, Yoshiko, this is so pretty! And well made too! You’re getting better and better each year, I’m seriously impressed, nicely done!”

Sayaka Lines:

“Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Sweetie! I really loved your gift, I never knew that I needed something like that, thank you so much! Oh, I can’t believe another year has gone by, I really wish that time would so down for once, my baby is all grown up! *sigh* I guess you’re right but just know that no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby….okay, okay, I’m sorry, here, I got you a present.”

“Ta-daaaa~! I got you a cat tree for Kazu-chan! I know it’s not something that you yourself can use but I figured that since you take such good care of Kazu, you’d want to get him something nice. I was thinking about what you usually wear when choosing which one to pick and I thought this one fit the bill. Oh, I’m glad you like it! Happy Birthday, honey!”

Lola Lines:

“Meeeeeeeerry Birthmas, my darling! Ehhh?? How did you know that I was gone?! Aww, and here I thought I was so clever to fool you…AWWW, Sunshine!! I’m so touched!! What did I do to deserve such a kind and considerate best friend?!…Hm? Oh, shit, I didn’t even notice that, you sure you don’t wanna know? It’s quite the tale? Okay, okay birthday girl, here you go.”

“I remember you telling me about those crystals you’re so interested in, something to do with witchcraft or some shit like that? Is there a difference, sweetheart? *sigh* I swear, sometimes I think I shouldn’t have let you met Lyall, didn’t think it was possible for you to become more goth than you already are, well, you look happy so I guess that’s good, merry Christmas sunshine.”

Bonus! Yoshiko Lines:

“Big sister! Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas! Did you look at the tree?! I got soooo many presents! Hehe, mommy said that too! Yoshiko’s a good girl! Hey, hey! I have a gift for you! Here!”

“Yay! I’m happy big sister likes my present! I made it alllll by myself! Merry Christmas!”

[kaisacobra]

Thank you for saying that it really means a lot, I actually used to write fan-fiction a couple years back and I’ve recently tried to start again but I’m very critical of what I write and how I write it so I’m incapable of producing a single chapter.

Keep it mysterious, I’ll be eagerly awaiting whatever you gift us ✨

Now that you mention it, yes I completely understand what you mean about R not being able to be extremely cold to Tara. R seems like the type of person who’d be hurt and disappointed, someone who wouldn’t necessarily be cold to Tara but would definitely hide from her. For R I’d imagine it’d be an internal battle of what she wants versus what she deserves, we already get a feel for that in the first chapter but it was easier for her to choose what she wants- which is to provide whatever comfort and happiness Tara wants because she loves her so much over what she deserves- someone who cares about her in a consistent manner and not only when it’s convenient (boo Tara😡). After Tara’s outburst I think R would have to force herself in every way possible to really process that she can’t put Tara’s needs above her own anymore, as much as she loves Tara doing that would reinforce the notion that everything Tara said is true. We know she always runs back but now that’s she’s been ridiculed for it she can’t.

The way she’s always there for Tara makes me wonder about her background. Maybe this is TMI, but I personally have experienced many relationships like this in the past. My father abandoned my sister and I at a very young age, so part of the reason I would always be there for them and never left first even when I should’ve but wouldn’t- was because I never wanted them to feel as unloved and unworthy as I did when my father left me. By the time I was a teenager I’d already forgiven him for all the abuse my family endured because of him, in my heart nobody could ever hurt me the way he hurt me- so I’d forgive them even though the people around me would expressively tell me not to, you know? But im older now and I stand my ground, i can leave when if its what’s best for me and not get too caught up in what’s best for them.

I’m from California by the way! It’s 10:30PM right now, you’re from Brazil though? That’s so cool! Did you grow up there? My parents were born in Mexico but they moved to USA in the late 1980’s, I wanna move to Mexico and live there for a couple years because my mother loves and talks about her hometown so much, the idea of seeing where she grew up in person and picturing her as a little girl warms my heart.

- ☘️ (I’m gonna use this as my anon tag from now on)

I feel like everyone is gonna be critical when it comes to their own stuff, like, I'm not kidding when I said i thought second best wasn't that good, specially because I used to be an essay tutor/monitor at school and my writing had to be more than perfect. Just remember that usually you're gonna be more critical of your work than other people and it doesn't mean that what you write is actually bad.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad that you can stand your ground now!💪 I know this will sound oddly ironic but all the background information I have on R is about... Tara. In my head, R is divided by past (beginning of friendship, woodsboro), present (the current mess) and future (what's gonna happen) so, in a way, maybe her life is all about Tara😔

I don't think R's family are gonna make an appearance so I'll leave it up for you guys to hc whatever you want as R's reason for being so attached to Tara.

California seems so nice! And yeah, i grew up here and i wouldn't have it any other way🤭 Maybe this happens to everyone in their own home country but i just love my culture and history so much, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Mexico sounds super cool! I've been wanting to go there, specially in 2026 because of the world cup (really wanted to see it live) but i dont think it's gonna happen😔 Either way it's a beautiful country i wanna visit someday and i definitely have to start improving my spanish.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello there! I wanna request something if that’s cool! 나 자신에 대해 말해줄게!

Fandom: I’d like a romantic matchup for Jujustu Kaisen, Ninjago & MHA (For JJK I don’t want to be matched with any of the minors and for MHA I don’t want to be matched up with any of the girls)

My name is Joey but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Magtanggol too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD and im wasian (west-southeast asian and white), polish, arab, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, I have a hard time taking everything seriously, when someone yells at me I’ll turn very cold and aggressive very fast

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid producer, i can rap like MILLI, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO, YOASOBI & Ado too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, cold weather, Christmas music/christmas in general, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, deserts.

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius ♒️

misc: I live in a mixed language house hold where I speak mostly polish and Arabic, and some Korean and Japanese, it world be nice if the person who I get can react to that lol, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, tries not to take life to seriously, everytime I have a party there’s always dabke dancing and I take control of it all the time and it’s super fun!

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot suck as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT.

thank you so much! miłego dnia/lub nocy.

Hi Joey! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Jujutsu Kaisen, I match you with...

Gojo matches your extroverted energy flawlessly. But at the same time, everyone around is glad you’re there with your “chill dad friend” energy to combat his “chaotic wine aunt” vibes.

While he initially comes off as shallow, Gojo loves it when you get deep and philosophical. It gives him a chance to talk about serious topics that he otherwise wouldn’t get the chance to.

He feels like he can be himself when he’s with you and that means a lot to him.

Please speak different languages around him! He thinks it’s so cool. He’s convinced you’re always flirting with him, even if he has no clue what you’re really saying.

Feel free to mess with him in this regard. Say the most random and unhinged things in a flirtatious enough tone and he’s flirting back.

You can also occasionally switch it up and say something actually romantic just to keep him on his toes. He loves it!

Look at me and tell me this man isn’t a fan of vocaloid/k-pop/j-pop. He’s got his favourite songs but is always open to recommendations. He enjoys being able to dance around with you to his heart’s content.

In Ninjago, I match you with...

Jay’s another one who is fascinated by your ability to speak several languages. I feel like he only speaks English, and a tiny bit of Spanish that he learnt in high school.

You may need to find someone else if you want to have a deep philosophical conversation that is more than one-sided. But Jay is happy to listen if you’re happy to ramble.

He does his best to keep up with the conversation and will occasionally say something so profound, you may need to take a minute.

Skating dates! Jay is absolutely a skateboarder and he’s so happy you are as well. He enjoys clearing his head by going skating with you, somewhere out of the way so fans don’t bother you.

He also enjoys watching YouTube with you. He doesn’t really mind what you watch; he gets invested in anything and everything.

Jay loves your figurine and stuffed animal collection. He thinks it’s really cool. I can see him as someone who has a figurine collection of his own so he likes comparing what you each have. He’ll pick up new figurines of you when he’s out and has the time.

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Denki is absolutely a fan of vocaloid/k-pop/j-pop. He loves that type of music so much, especially the upbeat songs he can dance to.

Say anything in a different language and Denki is going to think you’re the smartest person on the planet. And then he’s running what you said through Google Translate so he knows what you said. The results are always interesting…

Much like Jay, I see Denki as someone who enjoys skateboarding. He likes being able to do cool tricks to impress you. Just make sure you take some Band-Aids.

When you go on skating dates, you’ll usually end up at a cafe somewhere. Denki’s also a fan of boba and he’s slowly working his way through the entire menu at his favourite boba place.

Loves playing games with you. Whether it’s tabletop RPGs, video games, or board games in general, he doesn’t mind.

He has a preference towards video games, but honestly, as long as he gets to spend time with you and have fun, he’s happy with anything.

[anti-dazai-blog]

how do you deal with hate? like from what I understand, you posted your first "controversial" post knowing that people might hate you for it, and you did so anyways. even tho it might have felt like you were the only one who believed those things at the time. where do you get the confidence? cause honestly that was such a slay.

Like, obvi we all have our own opinions and I don't agree with everything you said but the confidence you had.. grrrr i like it so much 💗💗 i love it when people are real with their opinions.

okay ty, im sorry for rambling, gonna stop here now 😭😭

I really want to play it cool and say something like “I just don’t care what people think of me,” but honestly? Yeah I was terrified of posting my first BSD-related post.

I had been enjoying the BSD fandom from afar for about a year before posting anything about it. I’ve always had this personal pet peeve when (fictional or real) bullies get a free pass to be assholes when they’re conventionally attractive, but that applies to all fandoms, not just BSD and not just Dazai. 

(Note that that’s not a moral stance, there’s nothing wrong with liking a morally grey character, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a bad (fictional or real) person to be physically attractive. This pet peeve of mine stems more from how (fictional) bullies who aren’t attractive are seen as the biggest evil unleashed upon the world, while fictional bullies who are attractive are seen as The Ideal Boyfriend)

One day I saw a post pointing out one of the things Dazai did that bothered me, and I really wanted to add to it via reblog, but I was concerned I’d derail the original post, so I screenshot it and wrote a whole follow-up rant. 

Then I saved that post in my drafts for three days.

I posted something vague like “I really want to talk about this one character from this one fandom, but the fandom is very aggressive and they’d burn me at the stake if I said anything too controversial”

I don’t think I intended to explicitly tag it with anything searchable, but I must have said something like “#yeah this is about bsd those guys are scary”— apparently that counts as tagging it #bsd by tumblr’s standards, and someone from the bsd fandom (who I’m now mutuals with) responded with something like “most of us are nice! We wanna hear what you have to say!!” 

That was enough motivation for me to get that post out of drafts, and even then I didn’t post it immediately. I scheduled it to post for a time when I wasn’t home, so that if there’d be backlash I wouldn’t have to witness it live and I could just delete the post later.

Not only was there no backlash, but hardly anyone saw the post. Iirc it got between 3-5 notes. That was what gave me the confidence to continue talking about my (admittedly controversial) fandom opinions. 

My main blog is primarily a Shakespeare/Classic Lit blog, and the online fandom for those things encourages controversial opinions (as opposed to the standard anime blog, where it seems like posting controversy is a taboo). So once I had the confidence to interact with an anime fandom in the first place, it wasn’t too hard to post my controversial opinions, because that’s the internet culture I’m more used to.

As for how I deal with the hate, you’ll be glad to know there’s only one person on this entire site who sends (bsd-related) hate. If you’ve received any hate, it’s from her. So while I have received hate messages (everything ranging from “your blog sucks” to graphic suicide bate and murder threats), knowing it’s all from the same person makes it all pretty meaningless. Everyone else on tumblr just blocks what they don’t want to see, either by blocking blogs they’d like to avoid or by blocking tags for subjects that annoy them. 

Since I tag anything that speaks of Dazai in a negative way as “#anti Dazai,” I don’t often run into people who don’t want to see negative character analysis who’ve discovered my posts accidentally.

If you want to post about something, go right ahead! The people who enjoy the content you make will follow you, and the people who don’t will block you, and everyone will curate their own tumblr experience to make this site something we can all enjoy. Admittedly if the fandom you’d like to post to is bsd, you WILL get harassed by that one person, but everyone else in this fandom has gotten harassed by her too. We mostly just ignore her at this point. 

Posting controversial opinions to fandom spaces can be scary, but if you have something you’d like to post, go for it! I personally would recommend starting a side blog for it, that way if things really do get out of hand you could delete it easily without losing your tumblr account. But the most likely outcome is that it wouldn’t gain enough traction for anyone to be overly bothered by it. Controversial things are more often ignored than hated on.

(For context, I’m referring to this blog too! I’m a tiny little blog. So please don’t interpret that as some veiled insult, I’m in this group of “tiny controversial fandom blog” too)

Anyway. Best of luck to you!! And remember, the point of posting things is to have fun! If it’s causing more stress than enjoyment, there’s no shame in taking a break or logging off for a bit. I’ve taken multiple breaks, and I only post to the Anti-Dazai Series when I enjoy what I’m posting. 

[Also. I absolutely love controversial fandom opinions, especially if they’re well written. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I agree, so long as it’s a cool or original take on the source material. So if you wanna dm me, I’ll definitely follow you and your blog full of all your hottest takes]

[our-death-means-flag]

{ Just A Bunch of Ideas }

You might have noticed the section I left in my master list for longer fics. I have a few ideas, here they are, let me know if any of them really catch your interest!

I’m probably gonna write all of them at some point. But you can help me pick the order! :D

BlackBonnet x Reader (possibly becomes Steadyhands x Reader), post-season 1, exploring the unhealthy sides of their relationship

Ed and reader we’re sort of together pre canon (they are very in love but they’re not really official) they end up pulling Stede into their relationship and making it official but then the end of the season still happens

Both Ed and Reader are struggling with Stede leaving them behind. Reader is handling it better than Ed (outwardly).

Of course the whole canon Kraken thing happens with Reader going along with it. They do their level best to keep everyone safe while that happens (including rescuing Lucius) but Reader is still doing just as bad as Ed.

Focuses on Reader and Ed, Ed and Izzy, Reader and Izzy and exploring how they are all kinda fucked up (Reader is kind of a mediator so the Ed and Izzy stuff is mildly better than canon but not by much). I find the unhealthy relationships in this show really compelling and I want to focus on them.

Eventually Stede comes back (possibly Izzy realizes that he Fucked Up™ and gets him) and they have to try and put everything back together.

Steadyhands x Reader, modern AU (kinda), time travel, shenanigans, Established Steadyhands, Based on a dream

Ed, Izzy and Stede are not having the greatest day. After being separated from their ship during a very strange storm, they find themselves completely lost. Luckily they stumble on a ship with a friendly stranger willing to help them out! :D Though it’s undoubtedly the weirdest ship they’ve ever seen. It’s made of some kind of strange material with no visible sails or oars and the stranger manning it is all alone. Said stranger is just as bizarre, dressed in strange clothes and not making any sense. Why would they want a “phone” to “call someone”? What’s a “phone”? What’s a “GPS”?

Meanwhile, Modern!Reader is incredibly confused when a trio of strangely dressed men in a tiny dinghy show up in the middle of the ocean. You have no idea how they got out here or what to do. Especially since they seem so baffled by regular topics. Did they get hurt somehow? A concussion? What year is it? Wait what?!?

Basically just modern!reader showing our boys some cool things in the present while you try to find a way to get them back home.

Steadyhands & adopted child!reader; this fandom needs more platonic/parental fics. Established Steadyhands

Reader, desperate to escape a terrible situation, stows away on the Revenge. You manage to stay hidden for a few days but then Stede finds you. You’re more than ready to fight to defend yourself or offer to work non-stop to be allowed to stay. Instead you’re invited into the captains’ cabin for a nice meal.

You’re stunned by the kindness of the crew and (despite your best efforts) end up getting very attached to them all, especially the strange captains and the protective first mate who all but adopt you.

Unfortunately, running from the past is a tricky thing, both for you and your new parents…

Izzy x Reader to Steadyhands x Reader; you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, jealousy 

Stede and Ed are happily in love and Izzy is having a bad time. The Revenge gets damaged during a raid and they have to stop for repairs. Stede declares an impromptu vacation and Izzy is basically forced to come along.

Then he runs into Reader, an old friend who he hasn’t seen in ages (and who Ed doesn’t know). You two immediately reconnect and spend the entire time together first as friends then as lovers.

Initially Ed is glad that Izzy isn’t just sulking, but the longer he watches the two of you spend time together, laugh together (when was the last time he saw Izzy laugh?), dance, spar, and sing (you somehow managed to convince izzy to sing with you), the more jealous he becomes.

Eventually they have to leave and Ed is kind of glad to leave you behind. But you offer to tag along with them. Stede accepts, glad that Izzy’s been less trouble with you around. 

Ed tries to figure out how to deal with his jealousy (and his weird feelings for you on top of that). Stede tries to ignore how much he likes this side of Izzy and also you. Izzy tries to let himself have nice things and wrestles with feeling like he’s betraying Ed for being around you and how much less annoying bonnet is when he's not laser focused on Ed. And reader tries to figure out what the fuck is going on with these three charming handsome idiots.