#and while I obviously didn't know any characters

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

people are entitled to their own opinion, but genuienly thinking Elizabeth is a selfish character missed the whole point of her character and it actually drives me lowk insane.

I know that the introduction of her character can be harsh to digest because of how overbearing she can be and because she broke Ciel's ring that holds deep importance but:

She wasn't aware about the importance of the ring, and when Sebastian pointed out, she immediatelytook accountability and started to apologize.

She cried profusely, realizing how much history and emotional importance the ring held, her pain was as sharp, literally suffering in o!Ciel's place.

Even when o!Ciel tells her that it's okay, she cuts him off with a "but" again, fully willing to admit her mistake.

Elizabeth always goes an extra mile to make our earl smile, and she admits to Sebastian that sometimes she can be overbearing, but thats such a human mistake and her heart and intentions are always in the right place.

She is constantly attentive of o!ciel and worried about his wellbeing, she is able to tell when something is off with him.

She also struggles with crippling insecurities.

As a young lady of the Victorian era, Elizabeth finds herself torn between society's expectations and her family's ideals.

Desperate to appear beautiful and graceful for o!Ciel’s sake, she deliberately wore low-heeled shoes (a choice deemed childish for a girl her age, looked down upon by other girls) knowing full well that he wished to be seen as mature.

In quiet devotion, she diminished her own stature beside him, all to lift his pride.

But her lineage demanded strength. Forced to train with a sword, she carried the weight of duty, yet secretly loathed her own power, fearing it made her less of the delicate noblewoman she longed to be.

Her insecurities are so complex because while they root from how she feels her fiance needs to percieve her, they also stem from the expectations and oppresive ideals of society of how a woman should be.

Her sword training, a secret defiance of gendered expectations, should have been a source of confidence. Instead, it became yet another fracture in her self-worth.

Every swing of her blade felt like a betrayal of the "perfect lady" she was supposed to be, even as her lineage demanded she master it.

She hated her own skill, not because she lacked it, but because possessing it meant she could never fully be the dainty, unburdened girl she thought Ciel needed.

But when our earl is in danger, she doesn't hesitate, pushes away her deepest insecurties, all for o!Ciel.

She shows him her "uncute" apperance, she unravels infront of him completely.

A girl laid bare, willing to be seen as uncute, as flawed, if it means protecting him.

And when o!Ciel sees her strenght, obviously, he reacts positively to it. He doesn't see her as less, he doesn't hate her for it, he quickly accepts this part of her.

Literally zero disgust in his bones as he does so. (he's so gentle with her augh i love them)

And since o!Ciel accepted her, she started to unravel her strenght and didn't hide it as much.

Can we also talk about how Elizabeth was ready to resort to violence when she thought o!Ciel was cheating on her with Sieglinde? But when Sebastian steps in and explains the real reason behind their situation, not only does Elizabeth apologize, she immediately takes Sieglinde’s side

we love a girls girl !!!

She even goes a step further, offering her help and friendship.

Something worthy of mention is that she is never limiting herself to just her bond with Ciel, but always reaching out to form genuine connections with others.

And now everyone assumes she's selfish because of this....

And now they call her selfish? A traitor? As if she hadn’t spent her entire life bending over backwards just to make o!Ciel feel safe and happy.

Imagine dedicating three whole years to someone, selflessly, without expecting a single word of praise...only to discover it was all built on lies. How could anyone blame her for feeling betrayed?

On top of that, her entire life, since infancy, was shaped around the role of being a fiancée, just as r!Ciel was forced into becoming the Phantomhive heir. (the role o!Ciel took over instead).

Not only does she feel hurt by o!Ciel lying to her, she feels lost. Identity wise she is is crushed and feels she failed as a fiance for not telling the difference between the twins.

How is that fair? She spent years dedicating herself to his happiness, only for the foundation of her existence to be ripped away.

And even after "siding" with her fiancé, she is clearly unhappy. Not only because she knows r!Ciel and Undertaker are up to no good, but because she also understands why o!Ciel lied to her all those years.

She questions herself, she realizes the very reason why o!Ciel kept his identity a secret.

And when she realizes that if o!Ciel would've been honest about his identity back then, she would've expressed dissapointment, and that immediately makes her drown in that guilt.

And now, that truth consumes her: not only does she fail as a fiance, she feels she fails as a human too.

It is pretty clear to me that Elizabeth is torn and confused, heavily manipulated by r!Ciel and a lifetime of being groomed into the "perfect fiance"

Her entire sense of self was scripted for her, and now that the lie has collapsed, she’s left drowning in the wreckage.

I can’t claim to know Yana’s exact intentions, but this much is clear: Elizabeth is intelligent, fiercely compassionate, and, when the moment demands it: fully capable of making the right choice.

Will she forgive o!Ciel? Almost certainly. While the pain of his lies may never fully fade, the story makes one truth undeniable: Their bond, though built on deception, became real through those quiet moments of understanding and mutual acceptance.

Lets not forget that where r!Ciel weaponized Elizabeth’s deepest insecurities, o!Ciel was starting to dismantle them. 

one exploited her fears of inadequacy as the "perfect fiancée," while the other, despite his own deceptions, gave her the space to simply exist as herself.

And Elizabeth? That brilliantly perceptive girl currently drowning in betrayal? She will remember. She’ll piece together the truth, not just about them, but about herself. 

Anyways, I love Elizabeth and y'all should too!

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

medialog may 2k25

books

edith wharton, the house of mirth - first reread since high school, even better than i remembered (although the early stuff with rosendale is also even more antisemitic than i remembered lol). lily bart really just one of my favorite characters in all of literature… girl too pretty to get a job but too possessed of a certain inner spark to marry out of her money troubles, trapped by her circumstances, doomed by her upbringing, suffering as much for her occasional flinches away from the expected course of her life as for her desire to walk to its end… this book just rules

sofia samatar, a stranger in olondria - cozy and pleasurable to read in a way that put me in mind of some childhood fantasy reading. i really love samatar’s prose and i admired how meticulous her worldbuilding was, as well as how expertly she seeded exposition into the book, but i don’t know that i was ever fully grabbed by this… glad i read tender first because if i’d read this i’m not sure i would have felt a need to seek more samatar out and then maybe i never would have read tender and learned that this book is like a tenth of what she can do.

jeremy gordon, see friendship - i really wanted this to be a third-time’s-the-charm thing for me and novels by people whose internet nonfiction i like, but, alas, it was Merely Okay (although i guess that still puts it in first place in that niche genre for this year?). i think the premise is pretty good — magazine writer feeling pressure to Do A Podcast learns that high school friend’s sudden death wasn’t from natural causes but from a heroin overdose, decides to pitch a podcast on investigating the story — but the execution was just kind of whatever… the novel is written in a very bloggy/internet nonfiction style and in theory this makes sense given the protagonist’s vocation but in practice while it was easy to read i felt like it also kept me from ever really feeling anything for any of these people… the observations felt like blog observations and not like things a novelist was telling me or realizations or feelings or thoughts characters were having. it hit its beats but faintly, feeling more like an outline of a story than a real one. i felt like it didn’t dig enough into its potential conflicts, everything sort of resolved too easily… i read an interview with gordon where he said something like, unlike his character, if he got the sense his continued employment depended on making a podcast, he would probably keep doing what he was doing until he was fired, and i feel like the vibe of that casualness seeped into the book even though on paper the protagonist didn’t want to get fired. all the character voices sounded basically the same… i also felt a certain, hm, debut novelist anxiety about needing to articulate reasons for doing or thinking or saying things that didn’t really need to be explained (i recognized this as a habit i have to fight in myself at times lol). idk. didn't land! will say i got nervous seeing blurbs on the cover from brandon taylor (the first disappointment in this category this year!) nd lauren oyler but was like well authors don't get to control their blurbs... but then in the acknowledgements he names oyler as a friend. so. alright. lmao.

kai bird & martin j. sherwin, american prometheus: the triumph and tragedy of j. robert oppenheimer - obviously a huge achievement (research for the book, which was published in 2005, started in the 70s…), and a solidly written one. i had a phase in high school where i was watching the “i am become death” clip on youtube a lot so i think i’m kinda the target demo for this but i was pretty into it throughout… comparing to the last Tome Biography i read, which was david skaal’s book about bram stoker, i would say i found the digressions less interesting but the central “character” about a billion times more entertaining, which i think is a big part of the book’s appeal… oppenheimer was just such a presence (complimentary and derogatory at the same time), according to everyone who ever met him, and the book seems to capture both what made him so enthralling to those who fell for him and what made him so unbelievably annoying to other people. the authors clearly have a lot of admiration and even affection for their subject (often calling him “oppie” in the narration lmao), but i found them also pretty fair-minded about his flaws, both interpersonally and in terms of his post-war stumbles in attempting to influence nuclear policy… although the context they provide also suggests that this may have been a fairly doomed prospect all along. speaking of context, i liked how clearly, almost exasperatedly, the book emphasizes that hanging out with communists in the 30s was literally the most normal thing in the world for anyone even a little left of center… and the stuff about strauss’s anti-opp crusade really made me feel like if anything the movie underplayed just how much this guy was victimized by the US government in really astonishingly illegal ways!

emily witt, health and safety: a breakdown - my impression of this book was that it was a memoir of getting into the rave scene and finding it unexpectedly transformational, and it was that but also it was kind of just the story of the last like ten years of witt’s life? witt is a very good writer sentence to sentence but i felt like as a book it could have used a little more shaping… but maybe i just didn’t want to read a journalist reflecting on the first trump era / COVID / 2020 protests because i have read that 1 million times including in real time as it was happening. i almost found myself feeling at those parts of the book like i did a million years ago when i read david levithan’s book about three teens living through 9/11, which was like: well i didn’t really get anything out of this because i was like, there, but in ten years people who were very young or haven’t been born yet will be able to read this book and get a sense of what it felt like. i liked the rave stuff because i like books about scenes, perhaps because i am constitutionally incapable of belonging to one myself, and liked her writing about the way listening to techno while on drugs made her feel, the idea that techno kind of broke up reality in a way closer to that of poetry than of prose, that it offered in her phrasing (iirc) “not meaning but space”... i feel like i wanted more of that, as well as more of her disillusionment/distance with the social circle she had when she met the boyfriend who got her into the scene, which sounded interesting but didn’t get delved into. i dunno, she sort of fell for this guy and dropped or change a huge chunk of her identity, and i wanted some more reflection on that and maybe less on what it was like covering parkland even though that was interesting too… but like interesting in a way where maybe these should have been different books. i also… this is possibly straying out of my lane. but. the romantic relationship that gives the book its spine wound up coming to a really brutal end in which the guy spends lockdown smoking catatonia-inducing amounts of weed, gets brutalized at a protest she asks him to come to while she escapes with her press badge, and then spirals into a pretty severe manic episode. and… i feel like… perhaps the book would have benefited… from her not writing about this like… three years after it happened. idk. i do actually know, thankfully only in short-term form, how destabilizing it is to try to have any conversation with someone who is severely manic with twinges of psychosis, and how even as part of you knows something is seriously medically wrong reality has become so bizarre so quickly that you find yourself still trying to engage with them like they can have a conversation and taking their comments personally. and i can’t imagine how much more traumatic and terriyfing that would be if it were happening to me via my partner that i lived with during a pandemic (and she actually captures this quite vividly). and it does sound like his post-breakup behavior was annoying and like he too perhaps had not processed this period of his life particularly well. but… i dunno. it felt fresh in an odd way. (i also kind of agree with the goodreads reviewers who are like, it’s a little weird that she doesn’t link this outbreak to his years of heavy drug use and especially the months of constant pot smoking beyond a line about how not everyone who travels this road makes it out or whatever.) idk. just my onion!

carmen maria machado, in the dream house - really liked this one! the stories in her body and other parties were sort of hit or miss for me as stories, but i like her a lot as a stylist - i think her prose is simple with a very elegant ear, and she and i clearly have some overlap in aesthetic sensibility that makes her sentences very pleasurable. and in this case i also thought the book as a whole was a success. the central conceit functioned both to create formal interest and at times to really effectively dramatize the emotional core of the narrative - i especially looooooved the running footnotes linking moments in her story to tropes from fairy tales and folklore, i thought that was so cool and sometimes incredibly poignant. rare buzz book w!!!

maša kolanović, underground barbie (trans. ena selimović) — i LOOOOVED this book omg!!! it’s a first-person novel, or maybe a collection of vignettes, about a young girl at the start of the yugoslav wars, in what is in the process of becoming croatia (NB: i have like zero geopolitical context and did some start-of-book googling to grasp the basics here lol). the book’s incredible innovation is that it focuses almost exclusively — like, truly, i would estimate 95+ percent of the time by sentence count — on what is most important to this kid at this juncture in her life, which is… the sprawling, highly involved, increasingly deranged narrative web she and her friends spin across their afternoons playing with their barbies. the stories play out, by and large, as stories about the barbies (and, more and more over time, as stories about dr. kajfeš, the mauled off-brand ken who emerges as a sort of freak hero and carries much of barbie world’s gleeful weirdness and occasional brutal violence). i mean: WHAT a concept! i’ve really never read anything that captured childhood in this specific way except for, like, the scene in sally j. freedman where she plays concentration camp (you could not publish that in a children’s book today but judy blume is a genius)... the monomaniacal focus on what the barbies are up to only sporadically interrupted by a hint of the devastation spreading across the region is so darkly funny but also honestly kind of moving to me because of what a dedication it shows to a certain kind of honesty (through exaggeration — but honesty nonetheless) about the world of children and the belief that it’s worth articulating. also there are adorable little drawings throughout!!!! really really great book strong recommend

movies

down with love — ok i actually watched this months ago but forgot to put it in my media post so am putting it here now. anyway rewatching this for the first time since high school, having since actually seen some romantic movies made before 1995 lol, i found it as delightful as and considerably more impressive than i remembered. looks amazing incredible performances really funny smart gender stuff but all in the service of giving everyone a good time and sending us home happy. i love to have fun!! when i was in high school a friend of mine watched this and said she didn’t like it because she found the twist unbelievable and that’s a core memory for me because it’s the first time i can remember recognizing that it was possible for a person to just completely miss the point of a movie they had watched.

minority report — this movie is weird and like kind of gross and unpleasant but also kind of zoomy and fun… it’s alright. great cast tho

the accountant — sat on the couch doing some digital chores/work while n. watched this. kind of weird as a movie in that it’s like, not really smart in the way that movies this focused on documents usually are or aim to be, but also not that heavy on the ass-kicking for an action movie (which is what i was expecting based solely on the trailers for the sequel)... i’m not sure about anna kendrick. like, her whole deal. but i think the concept of “you know those movies about extremely autistic-coded characters whose secret autism basically gives them superpowers? what if we did that but the guy was autistic in canon?” is sort of inherently an intriguing pitch? and i do feel like it could have been about 500 times more offensive than it was.

mission: impossible—fallout — most awesome movie of all time i will not be taking questions

mission: impossible—dead reckoning — not as great as fallout but improves on every viewing for me… i really love how slapsticky and fun all the setpieces are. hayley atwell is sooooo hot in this but also really great at doing action choregraphy/blocking while maintaining the physicality of someone who is not in this life and hasn’t done this before.

the house of mirth — i said on letterboxd that this was probably the closest i’ll ever feel to how die hard marvel people felt watching RDJ’s tony stark for the first time… it’s such a faithful adaptation of the book that i almost feel like it would be totally opaque if you haven’t read the book because everything happens the same but you’re missing the significant portion of the text that is wharton explaining to us why things are playing out as they are. but i know at least two people who really liked it without having seen it so i guess it works if you’re a movie person? for me i was just like wow yeah i love watching my favorite book suddenly turn into a movie… it’s just the book but now i can watch it… i’ve really never had that with an adaptation before. also casting gillian anderson as lily bart (1) really convinced me the x-files hair department should be brought up on criminal charges, the pics i’ve seen of her did NOT familiarize me with her game (2) is really really inspired given that one of lily’s defining traits is that she is so pretty it’s like a superpower that also ruins her life because like... yeah... tru... eric stoltz reeeeally captures selden's charm that captivated me at 17 and also his self-satisfaction that drove me insane as an adult. laura linney as rich sociopath bertha dorset is having sooo much fun and is literally so funny... i had a great time and also felt (correctly) very sad!

mission: impossible—the final reckoning — not as fun as most other entries and somewhat bogged down with stuff that suggests studio interference and/or needing to cut back on budget because dead reckoning went so far over as a pandemic shoot (there are really only 2 giant set pieces compared to the typical 3, and a lot of Previously, On Mission Impossible clip shows in the first act), but these movies are my happy place and once he jumped off the plane into the ocean i was completely locked in to the end. personally i don’t mind how stupid the AI plot is because i personally can’t really distinguish between the stupidity levels of the plots of this series… i’m simply here to laff. lots of great actors putting their whole pussies into pretending to take extremely silly stuff extremely seriously + the two set pieces we did get were like truly and legitimately deranged and terrifying, i’m happy! i’m easily pleased! i would kill but not join scientology to get tom cruise's hip mobility routine!

other

chelsea gallery walk — on a tuesday we went to the chelsea galleries by the west side highway to simply investigate whatever art might be there and it was a cool fun way to spend an afternoon! we had done this i think once before and i really recommend it as a fun free NYC activity for anyone in the area… you get to see a lot of different stuff! i’m not gonna list all the artists we saw but i’ll say that i think my favorite was this michael armitage exhibit.

blonde redhead & bloc party at forest hills stadium — in a tragic turn of events, i somehow missed the memo that metric dropped out of the american dates for their joint tour with bloc party and was replaced by blonde redhead… devastating news for me but we still went and tbh? i had a great time! had never been to forest hills stadium and it was much pleasanter than i anticipated (partly because it’s much smaller than other stadiums i have been to which also meant that even sitting up in the bleachers the view was pretty good and it was nice to see the crowd of nostalgic millennials going crazy for their favorite songs), even though it was also SOOOOOOO FUCKING COLD on may 31st…. blonde redhead was pretty good but bloc party really did it for me! very unexpectedly! honestly the experience made me think i should see more live music, even if i’m going alone… i was surprised by just how much i was enjoying watching a band do their thing.

music

didn’t really have a single that stood out this month so here’s my favorite track from my favorite newish album, samantha crain’s “dart”

albums below the cut! (not quite as high volume as earlier this year... but a decent showing with some good finds)

mei semones, animaru — this is very cool and well done and too jazzy and sophisticated for my personal tastes!

samantha crain, gumshoe — really loved this album, which worked a great sonic groove and has some wonderful tunes… i wish i had more to say about it because it was probably my favorite thing i listened to this month! i just thought it sounded great and i liked how romantic it was in parts… sort of triangulating a space between songwriter/indie rock/folk-ish, mellow but not dull, maybe recommended for, hm, people who have at some point been into ani difranco?“ridin out the storm” and “dart” in particular i have listened to about 1 million times apiece.

salin, rammana — cool thing i probably won’t return to but sounded really good!

suzanne vega, flying with angels — this album was sweet! i like that she did a gender-flipped “i want you” not-quite-cover from the perspective of bob dylan’s chambermaid

car seat headrest, the scholars — every now and then a band that sounds like the killers but less pop (don’t @ me about the niceties of distinguishing between different types of indie rock) catches my ear for whatever reason… these guys were pretty good but would have more replay value if they didn’t have multiple songs above 5 minutes in length (including an 18 minute song… i don’t like you like that…)

lucius, lucius — decent if not particularly special indie pop. “old tapes” is a bop!

jenny hval, iris silver mist — this album was REALLY COOL. it’s much more experimental than i am usually temperamentally open to… but there was something really evocative and mystical and eerie and interesting about it and i’ve found myself returning to individual tracks more than expected.

self esteem, a complicated woman — this album is apparently strongly maligned? i thought it was alright. not quite as weird as i feel like it wanted me to think it was, and very corny in parts but in a way i sort of liked? (the flavors of corn i accept… hard to predict). i liked 69, a song about the bold truth few are brave enough to speak (69ing is hotter in theory than in practice) (if this isn’t true for you congrats on your multitasking skills for real)

blondshell, if you ask for a picture — what’s going on with the indie songwriter girls… this is like the third album this year i’ve listened to where i’m like, why is someone writing in this songwriting register going with the most boring production in the world… i described “what’s fair” to someone as “like someone took a perfectly decent alt-rock song and like… drowned it…” and that’s kind of the vibe…

rincs, swimming pool disco & assorted EPs and singles — dave put their recent single “don’t wanna go to the pool” on a mix and i liked it so much i threw all their old stuff on my to-listen list… unfortunately most of it was more boring and meandering than i would have anticipated or wanted. i did keep some songs for future investigating but once i’d worked my way through i realized that i had been on some level hoping this would be teenage retirement (2014), the lone full-length album by short-lived punk band “chumped,” so i went and listened to that

awakebutstillinbed, chaos takes the wheel — it’s so nice that they legalized women in emo… too harsh for me to return to but i’m not gonna lie really hit the spot on a rainy thursday when i was feeling pretty emo!!! but then also made me want to listen to teenage retirement (2014) by chumped and also their 2013 self-titled EP that was better than i remembered… is chumped one of my favorite bands despite only having like 20 songs that came out more than a decade ago?

bloc party, silent alarm — and ummmm it turns out bloc party is really good? also sort of falls into “the killers but not” category… idk they played a great show and i’ve been listening to this album all day and it rules. i wasn’t actually personally into this kind of thing in high school because i was too busy cycling through exile in guyville/boys for pele/not a pretty girl obsessively for four years straight but i’m like old enough now that this kind of angular-guitar we’re-sad-but-we’re-dancing melodic-yelping indie rock makes me feel pleasantly nostalgic as a person who was 17 in 2005 and therefore like listened to this album even though i never listened to this album iykwim…. i think recent higher-volume album listening + indie production disappointments has also given me a new level of appreciation for the skill level involved in recording an album so that it sounds like you're in a room listening to a bunch of instruments play real loud. also they have a gay frontman and a lady drummer??? no one tells me anything, for silly reasons like i never shut up about how i don’t listen to guys&guitars music… only downside is i’m legit bummed i didn’t have this happen to me a couple years ago because wowwwwwww would this be a record teen quentin coldwater would love, i actively regret not finding my way to putting any of these songs on the resurrection mix lmao. "if it can be broke, then it can be fixed / if it can be fused, then it can be split / it's all under control, it's all under control" ... "if it can be lost, then it can be won / if it can be touched, then it can be turned / all you need is time, all you need is time..." like wow alright! alright!

[dynakatsposts]

hii!can you please do a PT 2 of "Is This Real?"

i LOVE it😋

Hii! Thank you, I appreciate it! Yes, I can do a part 2💕 But it's quite short because I ran out of ideas🥲

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆🩷🍥💕🍬⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

"Is This Real" Part 2 (Part 1 here)

Pairings: K. Bakugo x Fem. Reader

Author's Note: This was kind of short and rushed, but I tried my best. Enjoy!

Warnings: Making out, suggestive, cursing

⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･────୨ৎ────⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

"Now... You gonna do what you were saying while you were watching, princess?"

I still can't believe it. It was like I was just watching him in my phone, and then he's here. In front of me. Sitting in my bed. Calling me "princess" or any kind of endearments. Caressing my cheek. It felt... so unreal.

How did this happen? How? Why is he here? Why is he caressing my cheek. What? Just what the hell is happening?

It seems like he noticed my confused look that he leaned in a bit just to get a closer look.

"You're really surprised that I'm here, huh?"

OBVIOUSLY! YOU'RE A DAMN ANIME CHARACTER THAT SUDDENLY POPPED UP IN MY ROOM-

"Yeah. I just can't believe it."

"Okay, I'll let you process it up for a few minutes."

He said while getting up, and started walking around my room. Inspecting every little thing even with the lack of light.

"Didn't expect someone like you would be a huge fan of mine."

He hummed as he moved into the shelf where I placed all my figurines of him. Then went over to my desk, fingers tracing the desk, as if he was checking for any dust. I decided to ask him a question, because I still am wondering if I'm going insane or not. I mean, who wouldn't?

"Uh, hey, Bakugo?"

"Katsuki. You always call me Katsuki. So, why change it now?"

"Oh. Uhm, Katsuki. I'm going to ask again. How'd you get in here?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes, I wanna know."

"You need to be careful with what you wish for in your birthday."

That made me confused. Tilting my head to the side, hinting that I didn't get what he meant. He sighed and walked infront of me. Lightly pinching my nose.

"Remember your wish, I don't know, two year ago?"

I tried to recall what it was, and for a few moments, I remembered it.

'Please, please, please! I wish Katsuki Bakugo is real so I can be with him! Please hear my wish!'

I blew the candles out then acting as if I WASN'T desperately wishing for an anime character to be real.

"No way that came true. Maybe I need sleep. Yeah. I still don't believe this shit right now." It was just a childish dream that I wished for.

I scoffed, thinking that I might really am going insane and started imagining things like... well... AN ANIME CHARACTER RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!

"Don't give me that attitude, princess."

He deadpanned. I glared at him like he offended me.

"I'm going to sleep."

I laid back down on my bed, completely ignoring him. I grabbed my Bakugo plushie beside me, but then soon realized it wasn't there. I sat up again and started looking for it. Under my sheets, my pillows, my bed- I know that I just left it here somewhere.

"It's actually funny that you'd choose an inanimate thing rather than the real one right in front of you."

"Well, at least it's actually real. A plushie is real."

I sarcastically responded, not really enjoying the fact that I'm probably talking to myself and just seeing things.

"You'd rather kiss that flat doll's lips than mine?"

"Ew, I'm not a creep who'd kiss a plushie-"

"Then why are you so desperate in ignoring me?"

"Because I don't believe that you're real. There's no way in hell I'm talking to THE Katsuki Bakugo. There's just no freaking way!"

"Wow, so you think I'm fake?"

"Yes!- No!- Maybe-! Ugh! I don't know?!"

Maybe mom was right, it was the damn phone.

"And here I thought you'd be so surprised seeing me."

He sat down next to me, leaning in for a couple of inches. Does this man know personal space?

"You done freaking out about questioning your sanity?"

I didn't respond, I looked pretty tense by the way he leaned in so close, like just a few more inches close and the gap will be closed.

"Still don't believe me? Fine. I'll just prove it to you."

His lips crashed into mine. My mind literally lagged, like those computers whenever your internet connection gets slow. It stops. Everything around me stopped, unmoving, silent. Only our breathings and my heart beat ringing in my ears.

The kiss was slow yet passionate. Gentle but there was roughness lying underneath it. His hands snaked his way down my waist, gripping it tight, but not tight enough to hurt me. His other hand went up behind my head, pushing lightly to deepen the kiss. I melted into his strong and warm touch. Letting him take full control.

He bit my lower lip, asking for permission. I slowly opened my mouth, and he didn't waste any time and I dived right in. Tongue exploring my mouth with pure precision, as if he's trying to memorize it for an exam he's going to take.

After an hour of make out session, both left us breathless, panting, face flushed, lips all red from the roughness of the kiss. He looked at me in the eye, smirking.

"You believe me now?"

I nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

"Good, 'cause there's no way I'm leaving."

⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･────୨ৎ────⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Masterlist 𔓐𑇓

[officialusagent]

Hi, John Walker here. Yes, the real John Walker aka U.S. Agent, former Captain America, current member of the New Avengers.

I don't really know what I'm doing here. For the record, I actually think this is a stupid idea, but our PR team thought it would be good for our public image, and the others agreed. So, here I am.

Feel free to ask me stuff, I guess?

[mod info under the cut]

:: hello. mod here. you can call me luka. mid 20's. she/her irl but honestly idc, i just see myself as a person so he/him and they/them work, too.

i've had a couple ask/rp blogs in the past, but they didn't last very long so i'm still finding my footing with all this, please bear with me while i do.

i'll try my best to answer in a timely manner, but unfortuantely i have to actually be a person irl, too. i also live in the uk, so timezones might sometimes factor into me responding late. if i've not answered within 2+ hrs it's likely i'm either working or snoozing.

i'm going to try and keep answers as in character as possible, but i'm obviously not the real john walker, nor am i obviously in any way an official writer for him, so some answers might be ooc. i'm here to have fun, not be perfect.

on that note, some answers might come across as a bit asshole-ish at times, because john is, well, a bit of an asshole at times. i think especially if he's feeling threatened/backed into a corner/vulnerable, etc.

i'm going to keep things canon-ish. the main difference is that i hc john as queer (as well as the rest of the thunderbolts*), so i'm going to be playing around with that. i might play around with a few other hc's, too, but nothing major.

this is a first for me, as i'm usually a multishipper, but although i hc them all as queer, i don't actually ship any of the thunderbolts* together. so, apologies, but no shipping of them will be happening here.

to me, john, yelena, bob and ava give siblings who constantly annoy the shit out of each other, but will fight anyone else who is mean to one of them vibes. with alexei acting as everyone's dad, liking to think he's the responsible adult while bucky is actually the responsible adult, who is tired and already done with their shit, wondering how the fuck he ended up as the responsible adult of the group.

you can be mean (to john. not to me. please don't be mean to me, i WILL cry). seriously, feel free to hit him where it hurts.

other ask/rp blogs are free to drop an ask/interact!

[incomingalbatross]

Finished the first book of this trilogy, so I guess I might as well name it. It's the Hall of Blood and Mercy by K.M. Shea, who has apparently written Many Many Books. This particular one is... Not For Me, at least right now.

I can't tell how much of my dislike is objective and how much is subjective here, honestly. Partly it's just too YA Romancey for me, for sure - since that's not a genre I'm particularly fond of, I'm not inclined to gloss over its weaknesses while reading. But the big thing was that the protagonist didn't really come together as a cohesive character for me.

She doesn't actually care about her family's beliefs and I think I'm supposed to support that? She tells me she's been upset about her very significant personal problems but she doesn't spend any of her narration showing that. Her moral code consists of "I dunno, it felt wrong." She keeps telling me that OBVIOUSLY Morally-Ambiguous Love Interest couldn't possibly CARE about her, which is a little insulting when I know what genre this is (in all fairness, he isn't actually very morally ambiguous, but she hasn't noticed that either). There's a mismatch between the positive things other characters say about her and the traits I've actually seen her display - which I think is one of the core hallmarks of a Mary Sue, though I wouldn't go that far in this case.

idk man. It might just be that this isn't my genre. There are definitely fanfiction plots I will read over and over, and overlook weaknesses in the execution because Fave Tropes are present. Romance plots generally don't have that built-in appeal for me, and this subtype definitely doesn't, so execution matters a lot more.

I'm trying out another kindle unlimited author, recommended by a friend from school, and currently I am halfway through the first book of a trilogy trying to process "why don't I care about this protagonist" into something actually halfway analytical.

I think there's SOMETHING there about the difference between a powerless character (fine and cool) vs a passive one (hard for me to get invested). Even or especially if the character has the power to DO very little, I think creators need to show them caring about things! Making judgments! Having internal lines drawn or goals their limited choices are driven by!

But this MAY just be my definite personal bias toward liking characters who enter the scene with strong moral convictions.

[thegreatyin]

fun fact: way back when i first created his account, i was originally thinking of making caeru my light fingers PC due to the fact it's a Horror Story™ and its themes align surprisingly well with his character. the only reason he ended up going through nemesis in the end is because i couldn't think of a reason for him to get invested in the initial hook (unsurprisingly, the guy who thinks wealth is arbitrary is not particularly enthused by the prospect of stealing a giant diamond)

[mad-hunts]

roleplay idea: barton's trying to say this BS that he's 'good at processing grief' when your muse was a witness to the absolute rage-filled and deranged rampage that barton went on after julien was killed by the joker in which he brutally hurt all but one of his henchmen (he killed the last one because he told him he was 'crazy' and that he 'better kill him, or he was going to tell his boss that barton had been there' and he literally just snapped, went 'you know what, i think i will kill you AND also let the joker know i killed you so he knows to never come near my family again' then killed him. like HUHHH?) at the time with your muse being like this

[justafterjericho]

If you liked that vibes you could read the Hogfather book or go with the Mort (the first in the death subseries). Then just read the read of the death books in order. Mort also has the benefit of being very good at establishing not only Death as a character, but also the worldbuilding (and not only the one surrounding Death and his function) and while you can get better book for establishing how gods on the discworld work (I'll get to that one), if I remember correctly, this one still gives you some basic idea.

I would also recommend Guards! Guards! (starting point for the city watch books, late enough that Pratchett figured out his voice and what he wanted to do, early enough that there are not many references or cameo characters from earlier books (except Death, but there are very few books that don't have that cameo and if you loved Hogfather, I doubt you mind)), Truth (stand-alone, some cameos from the city watch characters), Going postal (starting point for Moist von Lipwig subseries, cameos from the city watch characters and the Truth, being quite late into the series it's one of the best books in the starting points category, but while it and it's sequel Making money can be read as stand-alones without problems, third book in the subseries - Raising steam - concludes arc about dwarf society, that starts in the city watch books and you should probably read them too before going into it, but Going postal alone can be read before any previous books) and I would say also Monstrous regiment (stand-alone, cameos from the city watch books and the Truth, also quite late into the series) can be good starting point. While these series can be read withou each other and you can choose any of those starting points, if you start with the Guards! Guards! I would definitely recommend taking all of those books (and the subseries they belong to) I've talked in this paragraph and read them as if they were from the same subseries (by that I mean chronologicaly). It's definitelly not necessary for understanding but (with the exception of Monstrous regiment) they're all set in the Ankh-Morpork and do influence the city quite a lot. On the top of that the characters interact with each other and it's both interresting and hilarious to see what each of them think of the others (lets just say that Vimes, William and Moist do not like each other very much for most of the time). Monstrous regiment just adds good outside perspective of some of those characters on the top. Like I said it's not necessary and you can start with any other of those starting points, but if you decide to start with Guards! Guards! I feel it would be missed opportunity to not do this.

Other than that from the earlier starting points there's also Small gods (stand-alone, quite early into the series, gives one a good grasp about some of the worldbuilding, expecially about how the gods work) and Wyrd sisters (generally recommended starting point for the Witches series, there's technically Equal Rites, but that's more of a prequel, it has quite a different tone from the rest of the witches books, it's mixed with the Wizards and Granny Weatherwax is the only character that will appear in the other Witches books and it's also quite apparent that some, probably not all that small, amount of time had passed between Equal Rites and Wyrd sisters, still good though, firts discworld book I've read through and I loved it).

The Wee Free Men (the first book in the Tiffany Aching subseries) is technically aimed towards younger audience, but in true Terry Pratchett fashion is also in lots of its aspects one of the darker discworld books and this subseries as a whole contains probably the darkest book in the discworld (it's been some time since I've read I Shall Wear Midnight but from what I remember it beats Night Watch, Thud! and Sniff (later Watch books) on how dark it was). Even with cameos from the Witches books (which are in every Tiffany books from what I remember) they should be okay to read without any previous books except for the last two ones (the aforementioned I Shall Wear Midnight and The Shepherd's Crown). For those two you should also read at least all of the Witches books (this time including Equal Rites) - although in the case of I Shall Wear Midnight it's mostly for one very satisfying cameo which in my oppinion deserve to be experience in the fullest. It is definitely necessary for The Shepherd's Crown though.

The last starting point I will recommend is The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. Like the Tiffany Aching books it's aimed at a younger audience, like the Tiffany Aching books it's also one of the darker books xD. It is stand-alone and one, where the only cameos are of the Death and the Death of Rats. For all its insularity from the others books it does introduce enough of the discworld and it's tone to be a good starting point. There's actually quite recent animated adaptation of this one that can be considered quite good, definitelly one of the better discworld adaptation. Sadly it could have been great if they didn't decided to make it more "kid-friendly" by erasing most of the darkness by, for example, making the villian less scary and (which angered me more) erasing a whole fucking character just so they wouldn't die because kids apparently just can't handle death (lets just ignore the Lion King). They were other changes that felt kinda unecessary but if you have any younger kids I feel they would probably like it.

I never really got into any of the wizards books (excluding Unseen Academicals and the Last Hero, but the former is pretty late into the discworld (and Rincewind isn't the main character) and the later is basically a crossover with the Watch and none of them can be counted as more of the typical wizards books), never finished the Colour of Magic and while I later read other wizards books that I finished and even somewhat liked they just never really clicked for me so I don't feel like someone who should recommend them. And there's also the Pyramids and Moving Pictures that could probably also serve as starting points but I've never read Pyramids and while I've read Moving Picture it was a long time ago and while I remember liking it just fine, it wasn't all that memorable for me and I feel they are probably much better starting points there. Although it should be noted that while Moving Pictures is a stand-alone if you've decided to go with the wizards books this one should probably be read among them, because while the wizards aren't the main characters froim what I remember (or at least not the main main) this book introduces the new Archchancellor of the Unseen University Munstrum Ridcully who becomes the permanent ficture of the University going foward and basically starts a new era for the wizards there. He does also appear in the non-wizards books, but I'd wager that if someone read the whole wizards subseries his sudden appearance could have maybe feel a little jarring (but idk).

I would generally advise against starting with reading in the publication order, at least not from the beginning (I'd call that my bias against Wizards books as a whole and CoM in particular, but there exist enough people who were put off when they started with this book to warrant it). If you really want to experience the publication order reading (which can have some benefits) I would firstly start with some stand-alone or even starting point in some of the subseries you like the synopsis of and read that and then decide to try to read the whole discworld from the start. Or you can just start with either Equal Rites or Mort and go from there, of course. Generally if you don't like some starting point in some of the subseries it's probably a good idea to just switch to some different subseries or stand-alone and not just continue within the same subseries and then decide discworld isn't for you - I'm not saying discworld is necessary for everyone, but there are quite a lot of books and a few subseries in there so trying different ones if you don't like some book (and subseries) in it before giving up on it as a whole might be a good idea.

So where does one start reading Discworld?

So, this post hove across my dash, and I need these vibes in my life immediately.

[knifegremliin]

god it's so nice to be doing art again

[whos-the-seme]

Shen Qingqiu was doomed.

He stood still, fluttering his fan nervously and trying to avoid catching his counterpart's, the real Shen Qingqiu, glaring eyes from across the room. Instead, he idly observed the other Cang Qiong Mountain Peak Lords, trying to spot the differences between the ones he knew and their alternates.

Liu Qingge had brought back a strange artifact from one of his hunts to the monthly Peak Lord meeting. It was a mirror, rimmed an ugly tarnished gold, topped with a decoration that was shaped into an unidentifiable creature with ruby red eyes.

[Important Artifact Detected: Red-Eyed Sphinx's Mirror! Quest starting...]

Shen Qingqiu had been trying to remember where it might have appeared in PIDW when the surface of the mirror suddenly began to glow a dull yellow. It quickly brightened until it obscured everyone's vision.

And then, there stood another set of peak lords across the room, facing them down.

System, what on earth is going on???

[Quest started: Lost Long Spirit in My Reflection! Other characters have been transported to this universe. Host must find a way to send them back without revealing his identity as a transmigrator.]

WTF? I didn't agree to this!

[Good luck!]

System??? Get back here!

While the two Yue Qingyuans and Xu Qinglis conversed together to try to understand what had happened, the other peak lords had begun to mingle with each other, curious about their counterparts.

Shen Qingqiu tried to suppress his panic, sticking close to Shang Qinghua. His Yue Qingyuan occasionally flicked his softened gaze towards the alternate Shen Qingqiu, likely noticing that the other still acted as he used to before his qi deviation. In fact, several of the peak lords he had gotten to know over the years were sending some looks at the other Shen Qingqiu.

With the original goods right there, how long would it be before something exposed him as a fraud?? What if he was confronted about why he acted so differently?

[Host must avoid having his identity exposed. Being revealed as a transmigrator will result in Host being immediately sent back to his old body.]

Yeah, yeah, same shit as always!

Looking to his side, Shang Qinghua seemed to be experiencing the same threats, desperately looking away from the more dead-eyed Shang Qinghua across the room who, luckily, was barely paying him any attention.

Fuck, what do we do?

---

Shen Qingqiu continued to glare at the Other Shen Qingqiu in the room. The other Shen Qingqiu was so obviously a fraud, he could tell within minutes of being here. While his alternate seemed somewhat familiar, he didn't act like him at all, his mannerisms were all off, and despite the attempt at keeping a poker face, Shen Qingqiu could tell that he was nervous. Probably at being caught out.

His alternate self had likely been replaced with a bodysnatcher or some sort of spirt, if they truly were supposed to be the same person. Was everyone else stupid, or had they had their brains sucked out by a Heart Mouthed Lobster-Squid?

Or maybe they simply like the bodysnatcher better and didn't bother to investigate.

Shen Qingqiu's face became stormier, turning his glare to the Other Yue Qingyuan, wondering if he had felt happier once his precious Xiao-Jiu had vanished. The other Yue Qingyuan's face grew even more pathetic. Tch. Typical.

"That stupid System--" Shen Qingqiu nearly snapped his neck in looking at the bodysnatcher upon hearing his murmur. The fraud, upon noticing his sudden attention, clammed back up and looked away. But Shen Qingqiu knew what he heard.

Xi Tong.

He hadn't heard those words in years, not since--

He stepped forward, scanning the other once more. Upon a second, more thorough look, Shen Qingqiu realized that he grew more familiar. He wore his hair in the way that Shen Qingqiu wore it, but looser and less severe. His eyes were clearer and lighter, with hints of a smile, despite his nerves. He occasionally quickly glanced up and to his left, as if seeing something there, before bringing his attention back to the room at large.

No. It couldn't be. He was long dead, despite Shen Qingqiu's best efforts. Even if the fake had some similar things about him, that doesn't mean--

Shen Jiu had once had a brother, besides Qi-ge. Slightly smaller than him, despite the fact that Shen Jiu passed him along as much food as he could when on the streets. He smiled so much despite their circumstances, and was so kind despite Shen Jiu constantly telling him that he was making himself a target. But he looked so, so similar to Shen Jiu himself. They could have switched their clothes and looked exactly the same, if one didn't notice the difference in their demeanors.

His brother has also always been a little odd, talking to himself and arguing with an imaginary friend that only he could see named Xi Tong. One of the reasons that they survived as long as they did on the streets was due to the inexplicable knowledge that his brother seemed to have. Somehow, his brother knew about the various plants or small animals that they could hunt and sell for a pretty coin in the markets. Shen Jiu never asked, not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

But his brother was dead. He had died years ago, in the time during when they were in Qiu's manor. During a punishment for Shen Jiu's attempt to get them both to join Wu Yanzi; he had switched their clothes and taken Shen Jiu's place and died for it. That had been the final catalyst that made him set the manor ablaze and escape, mourning his brother's death as his fault for daring to be free. Cursing Qi-ge for not coming back for them.

Dazed and his vision dim, Shen Jiu took another step forward, and another. Hope, something he thought he had killed off long ago, slowly rose in his chest.

Had his brother survived in this world? Had he managed to escape alongside Shen Jiu? Or had Shen Jiu died in his place? Dimly, he can't help but think that the world would be far kinder if that were the case. If his brother had made it to Cang Qiong Mountain and became a peak lord all on his own and still managed to keep his smile. If he didn't have Shen Jiu dragging him down with him.

The other Shen Qingqiu, not having noticed his approach, laughed at something the other Shang Qinghua said ("Wonder if Shang Qinghua is a traitor here, too," Shen Jiu thought dimly). His laugh was the same. He rose his fan to hide his face, but Shen Jiu noticed how his nose crinkled, and his eyes nearly closed in delight, exactly like--

"A-Yuan?"

[kianamaiart]

Do you think “Moon Sailor” was a bit, on the nose?

it was intended to be! i made the pilot while keeping in mind that the magical girl genre is actually somewhat niche

i wanted to make sure people like my parents or my girlfriend's law school peers or people who don't watch anime at all could easily follow and understand what's going on. if i asked my parents to name a magical girl anime, they'd be like "what is that" but if i asked them what sailor moon was, they'd be like "oh yeah i've seen those characters before!" sailor moon undoubtedly iconic and people IMMEDIATELY know what it is upon hearing it. "moon sailor" is VERY OBVIOUSLY a parody of that so it's easy to get in that one second of time i have before moving on.

the tricky thing about doing a pilot is the setup and the trickier thing about doing a SUBVERSIVE pilot is that you have to set up what you're subverting on top of everything else. that's why zira's dialogue and language is also a bit expository and on the nose during the "gasp" part. there are people watching who don't know the magical girl genre and its tropes! like how is someone supposed to know that aika anticlimactically poofing into her magical form was a joke if they didn't even know that a magical girl transformation was SUPPOSED to happen? i thought i spelled out hoshi's whole thing pretty well or didn't really need to go that into it but i saw a lot of people confused about what they were and why they were there at all (until zira tells us that they're a magical mascot).

back to "moon sailor," it's a silly one off joke meant to quickly signal to the audience that zira likes manga/anime and the magical girl genre specifically as well as circumvent copyright. i also personally just like on the nose bits hahaha. like on big city greens whenever we parody a brand we usually just put a "B" in front of it. one of my favorite being "blego blocks"

this turned into unsolicited writing advice and definitely more than what you asked for but i hope its helpful to anyone out there looking to make their own shows!! clarity, spelling stuff out and sometimes handholding is important especially in a pilot. even though it can feel stilted sometimes, it's better than completely losing your audience or leaving them with questions. but now that the pilot's done it's job, any following episodes i might make will be unburdened by too much expository language haha

[lyrefromthesea]

Period sex with upper moons?

Akaza, Kokushibo, Douma - Period Sex

author's note: guess who's my favourite character in here and who i have personal beef with, i dare you.

pairing: Kokushibo x reader, Douma x reader, Akaza x reader

content warning: (obviously) period sex, mentions of blood, fem!reader

Kokushibo:

• though internally panicking, looked just fine when he picked up on the smell of blood

• came to check and the silent panic vanished

• will eventually know when your period starts before you know it yourself

• has no problem going down on you, but somehow always end up balls deep inside you

you whined as the man pulled two fingers out of your cunt, satisfied with the way you were dripping both blood and arousal.

he held eye contact with you as he brought the two digits to his lips, pushing them past his lips and licking the blood off.

"it's more than sweet.." he uttered, all three pairs of his eyes narrowing slightly. you held back a needy hum, seeing him glance at you.

he let his kimono slide of his shoulders, your mind occupied by the gracefulness of his actions. the cloth fell to the ground, revealing the pale body you've seen many times already.

"now let me have you.." he quietly said, steeping out of the last piece of clothing. though your eyes were focused on the clothes piled beside him, he was completely focused on you.

before you knew it, the man was over you, strong arms caging you between them. you felt your face heat up, almost making you forget the cramps you were experiencing.

"look at me." he demanded - requested. despite the embarrassment, you met his gaze, the smallest tug on his lip indicating his content state.

you held eye contact with him until he had fully sheathed himself inside you. his hand traveled over your stomach, pressing down where he suspected his cock would be.

you gasped, trying to keep yourself from arching your back. with his hand still on your stomach, he began slowly thrusting into you, watching your face for any discomfort.

"is that it? are you feeling good like this?" he whispered into your ear, his voice lightly breathy. you didn't answer - he didn't need one, not when you were squeezing around him so tightly.

Douma:

• you know he takes advantage of situations that could be good for him and this is definitely one of them

• yes, sex is something he had come to enjoy, but this was totally different

• blood, he didn't even need to do anything

• free source of food for a week, definitely will eat you out, no way he'll use his cock when he can just fuck you with his tongue

this was perfect, you were perfect, everything about this situation was perfect to him. he had you right where he wanted, right at his mercy.

you, on the other hand, were exhausted and in desperate need of a break. when did this start? you couldn't even remember how many orgasms the man - the demon - has pulled out of you.

his tongue licked a long stripe up your pussy, watching you shudder and cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain. he was too focused on his actions to notice the way you were weakly tugging at his hair, trying to stop him.

"so sweet, my little follower." he muttered against you, eyes finally opening, just enough for them to be lidded. he looked at you, realizing that the blood had decreased over time.

"don't tell me you're already finished? i thought you were going to give me more - show me your respect." he laughed, knowing that you could barely react to his words.

tears had started falling down your cheeks a long time ago, not sure how to handle any following orgasm. yet you couldn't move, body cramping up every few minutes while his arms pressed you against his face.

he didn't care how messy it got, a mix of slick, spit and blood staining his lips and chin. how could he care? you were divine.

if there was anything close to a god, it had bestowed him with the pleasure of getting to taste you every month.

your weak cries pulled him out of his thoughts, feeling you convulse and tremble once more, cooing at the orgasm he pulled out of you.

"look, there's more! i knew you had it in you, little follower, now be good and give me even more." he chuckled, kissing up your thigh until he was ready to dive into eating you out again.

Akaza:

• panicked when you got your first period and he didn't know of it

• first thought: danger, first thought after finding out you were on you period: nonexistent

• knew you were in pain and does his best to help, but keeps away from sex for quite some time

• eventually gives up because he can't resist your pleading

• enjoys it, but constantly worried

you watched him wipe the blood off his chin with the back of his hand, licking the rest of his lips. the action alone made you shudder in anticipation, feeling him stand up to position himself over you.

"are you feeling better, darling?" he asked, his voice quiet, as if he knew it would hurt you. you were fragile in his eyes, at the verge of breaking whenever you felt like this.

he treated you with the outmost care, abandoning pride to ensure your comfort. feeling another cramp shoot pain through your stomach, you held onto him, squeezing your eyes shut.

"please.. i need you.." you breathlessly whispered, his warm hand coming down to rub soothing circles against your waist. his other hand helped him guide his cock towards your entrance.

"shh.. i'm here for you." he answered, rubbing his cock against the mix of your slick and blood, the action making you moan out quietly.

he let you hold onto him as he pushed in, whispering words of praise and appreciation. the man didn't stop until you took him full, quietly grunting at the way you were squeezing.

"you.. you have to relax, darling. you're squeezing me so damn tight.." he groaned, letting his head fall down.

his hand let go off your leg, rubbing circles against your clit. "a- ah.. relax for me, darling. relax so i can take care of you."

he made sure to put your pleasure above his, to ensure your safety, your comfort. you gifted him the opportunity to eat you out, to taste you in such a special way, he needed to make sure you were doing good. it was only fair in his opinion, this wasn't about him, he could hold himself back if it made you feel better.

nevertheless, you didn't mind thanking him once your period was over, making sure to give him the pleasure he made you feel.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Let them see [B. R.]

Bob Reynolds x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

summary: you and Bob are forced to attend an event hosted by Valentina, where more is revealed than you would have liked.

masterlist

warnings: established relationship (kinda) mentions of comic characters like Norman Osborn (Green Goblin), Wilson Fisk (Kingpin) and Danny Rand (Iron Fist), some kissing and I think that's it!

Now that you were The heroes who would protect the earth and Valentina held a high position in the government, it was a prerequisite for the team to appear in public. You all knew it was like a huge, manipulative, and fake publicity campaign, but if it saved your ass, you didn't really care much.

Strangely, you had the most experience speaking to the press and with political figures, from whom Miss de Fontaine wanted to profit. So it wasn't a surprise when she said she wanted all of you at a charity dinner, where, at the same time, she would try to convince various businessmen to finance some of your projects.

You had to cover as much ground as possible, so she would arrange for you to be seated at different tables and, in addition, assign you a partner for that. She didn't ask your opinion, she never did, and you knew where you'd be until she handed you a small map with your assigned seats.

"I had to sit down with the owner of Oscorp Industries."

"Wilson Grant Fisk. Sounds important, doesn't it?"

Your friends were arguing and bragging about who they'd been assigned to sit with at dinner. You glanced at the names on your map, realizing none of them really interested you. Only one was familiar.

"Hey, Bob, we'll sit together."

The boy checked his own piece of paper, frowning to read it, and smiled widely when he checked what you said. You two had been trying to be a thing for a few months, though no one knew it yet. While they suspected it, you had been careful enough to make sure there weren't any incidents. So the coincidence made both of you happy.

"Huh, that's right. Valentina told me to tell you that you can't change your partners because every fire has its extinguisher, whatever that means."

“What are you talking about?”

"Every couple has one person who could break political relations if they don't keep their mouth shut, and another who turns out to be more cautious or diplomatic."

"No surprise my partner is Ava," Walker murmured, suddenly "No offense."

"No, it's okay. I'm used to hearing your bullshit, I'll probably know how to help you avoid it."

While they argued, you tried to guess the other combinations. Bucky and Yelena went together, obviously. They were like the team leaders, after all. Only Alexei remained, whom Valentina had probably paired with herself to prevent any mishaps.

"So you're the fire or the extinguisher?"

"Oh, I don't think that applies to us," you laughed, looking softly at Bob. "I think he just put us together so you don't have to interact too much. You know, the shyest one on the team whom I could talk myself into."

Your partner—would boyfriend be the correct term? No, perhaps lover, in any case—and you shared an amused expression, more pleased than the others with the arrangement your boss had made.

Bucky announced that Valentina would send some stylists who would take care of getting you suitable clothes, makeup, and a good hairdo—yes, the event was that important—and then the matter was settled.

At night, you could see that they had done a good job. Yelena was radiant, Ava looked like a supermodel, and the men didn't look ugly at all. Although, of course, for you, the most pretty was Bob. He was wearing a brown suit, with a nice striped tie, and shoes that gleamed in the light. His hair had been trimmed and was slicked back, but it didn't look stiff, just sleek; a wavy lock fell over his forehead, as if it had been intentional.

"I want all of you to rave about this project," Valentina warned you before walking through the door into the living room. "Make friends, chat with businessmen, tell them jokes, just be yourselves! Okay, a little more charming and less psycho, okay? Have fun!"

The entire group looked like a school classroom that had been forced to go on a field trip, but most of them managed to hide it. As you were entering and the camera spotlights began to flash, you took advantage of the chaos to approach Bob and grab his arm.

"You look handsome," you whispered to him. With your heels, it was easier to reach his ear.

"I feel weird. I was never a big fan of formal wear."

"Well, I say it looks great on you, darling."

A shy smile spread across his face, and although you couldn't see it, your eyes radiated tenderness and love; as if you were bewitched by him. Once you found your table, you took your place and were disappointed to see that you were at opposite ends of the circular table. You would have liked to sit next to him, but the seats were already labeled with each name.

You didn't know how the rest of your friends were doing, but apparently at yours, all the businessmen seemed pleased. It was probably because you were pretty—and wore a tight dress—or because their wives were smitten with Bob, pestering him with questions like seagulls around bread crumbs.

At one point in the evening, billionaire Danny Rand demanded your full attention. He wanted to talk to you about other charitable efforts his company was involved in that The New Avengers could join. He didn't seem as flirtatious or pushy as the regular millionaires, but you knew that if he tried to cross a line, you'd have to hold yourself back to avoid dislocating his shoulder or breaking his wrist.

"You know, now that I'm CEO of Rand Enterprises, I want us to be a more… how should I put it? Humanitarian, maybe. I want to help people, just like you."

"You're quite the philanthropist, I see."

"I'm trying to use my family's fortune to do more than build glass towers. Many people don't have a voice. I want Rand Enterprises to amplify it, not drown it out."

"And you repeat that idealistic speech at every gala?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Danny laughed softly, not offended.

"You know," Danny said, turning the glass between his fingers, "all this… the galas, the donations, the campaigns… it's all good. But if people don't reconnect with themselves, it's all a band-aid. You can't heal a broken system if you don't first heal those within it."

You crossed your arms, listening to him with a barely raised eyebrow. He spoke calmly, without a trace of ego. There was something genuine in his voice, though it wasn't exactly the kind of speech you expected to hear from someone with such an obscene bank account.

"Are you telling me that what the world needs is... meditation?"

"I'm saying we need silence. Inner silence. That people are afraid to be alone with themselves because they don't like what they're going to find. And if they don't confront that, no social change will be sustainable."

"Deep," you murmured, taking a short sip from your glass. "Maybe even a little depressing."

"Not if you think of it as an opportunity. The internal work is the most difficult, but also the most necessary. If every entrepreneur in this room took half the time they spend planning tax evasion and took an honest look at themselves, the world would be different."

"You have surprising faith in these people's capacity for introspection," you replied, amused.

Danny smiled at you. Not like someone trying to win you over, but like someone who truly believed what he was saying.

And then you felt it. That look. Subtle but piercing. You barely turned your face and saw him. He didn't do anything, he didn't say anything, but his expression was enough to understand. It wasn't explosive jealousy, but that kind of sad insecurity, as if he were afraid he wasn't in the same league as a man like Daniel Rand.

Without missing a beat or a smile, you looked him in the eye and winked graciously. A quick, playful gesture, like a secret password: I'm in control. This is all for the cause.

Bob looked away, but the tense line around his mouth softened. You tried to ignore the fact that his cheeks had turned red.

"Did I lose your attention for a second?" Danny asked calmly, following your gaze, though without reproach in his tone.

"Just for a moment," you replied with a light smile, settling in naturally. "But don't worry, I'm still listening."

Danny held your gaze for a moment longer... and then followed. His attention slid naturally to the other side of the table, right where Bob Reynolds was pretending to pay attention to an elderly woman chatting. He didn't seem to be looking at you at the moment, but his body betrayed him: his chin tense, his back slightly rigid, his thumb pressing restlessly against the glass of his drink.

"He's part of your team, right?" Danny asked, without malice. It was a simple question, but loaded with insight.

"Yes. It's... complicated," you replied, staying on neutral ground.

Danny nodded slowly, with that calm that always surrounded him.

"He has the look of someone holding something very heavy," she commented, without looking away. "As if he were standing in the middle of a chaos he doesn't know how to calm."

"Your reading is not bad," you murmured, somewhat surprised by the clarity of his perception.

"I don't judge," Danny added, finally looking back at you. "Some have to survive here, amidst the noise of the world”

There was a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you. He didn't press. He didn't probe. He just offered you a sincere, almost compassionate, unpretentious look.

"Sometimes," he added gently, "the true act of spirituality isn't meditating or helping others. Sometimes it's knowing when not to take someone else's place."

You looked at him, this time without pretense. Because in that moment, you understood that Danny wasn't trying to steal attention or gain your sympathy. He was speaking honestly. And he'd also seen more than you expected.

"You are much more perceptive than you seem."

He smiled barely.

"I try"

You remained silent for a few seconds, observing Bob more closely. His shoulders were still somewhat tense, but now he was pretending to be engrossed in a conversation with a woman who was talking more than he seemed to want to listen.

"He doesn't like these places," you commented, your voice barely above a whisper. "He's not exactly a fan of galas. He barely tolerates protocol, and the idea of having to smile for strangers seems like torture. He's… shy. It's hard for him. Much more than people imagine."

Danny nodded gently, without a hint of mockery. Only understanding.

"But he's here," he said. "For you, isn't he?"

"For the team, actually."

"He seems like a nice guy," Danny added honestly. "If you want, I can go talk to him for a while. That way he won't feel so out of place... and I'd have the perfect excuse to stop talking to businessmen who only want photo ops and tax breaks."

You let out a short, grateful laugh as you looked back at Bob. This time, you gave him a clear signal, a gesture with your fingers that said, "Come here."

Bob seemed to hesitate. Not because he didn't want to, but because he seemed unsure about interrupting. But you held his gaze pointedly, and that was enough. He apologized to whoever he was talking to, then walked toward you with a measured stride, as if trying not to inconvenience you.

When he reached your side, you smiled.

"Daniel, meet Robert Reynolds," you said naturally. "He's a fundamental part of our team."

Danny calmly extended his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Robert. I've heard good things."

Bob nodded as he shook hands, a little tense, but polite.

"Nice to meet you"

"How about you two chat for a while? I can sit where you were before and deal with the ladies for you."

Bob tried to stifle a laugh, but he couldn't. He was amused to think that his annoyance had been so obvious.

"Alright"

You took advantage of the moment to lean toward Bob and place a soft kiss on his cheek, taking him by surprise. Nothing exaggerated. Nothing over the top—just a brief, deliberate show of affection. Enough to calm him… and claim him.

"Be nice to him, Mr. Rand. Besides being a key part of the team, I'd say he's also the most handsome male member"

Both men laughed at your joke and then Bob sat down, a little calmer than before.

The gala continued with the calculated elegance of any event funded by millionaires with a socially responsible attitude. The glasses kept refilling, the music became a constant background, and you did what you did best: reading the room, smiling intelligently, leading conversations without seeming to. Bob, after his conversation with Danny, seemed more relaxed. Not extroverted, of course. But at least he wasn't on the verge of collapse anymore.

A couple of hours passed. You exchanged greetings with politicians, activists, and heirs. Until then, amidst the hustle and bustle, you felt a familiar presence at your side. Bob.

"Do you have a moment?"

You nodded at his request and then excused yourself to the guests. Bob took your hand in a gesture so casual it almost seemed unconscious, but there was a restrained urgency in his movements. He gently led you to a secluded corner of the room, a refuge between columns and shadows where the noise and curious glances couldn't reach you.

He stopped and looked at you, his deep, dark eyes filled with a mixture of nervousness and a determination that made your pulse race.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" you asked, trying to soften the moment, searching for a connection that went beyond words.

Bob inhaled deeply, his chest rising and falling slowly.

"I'm fine," he replied sincerely. "But I needed a break… a moment away from all of this. Being with you helps me catch my breath."

You smiled, almost without thinking, and reached out to gently straighten his tie. Your fingers brushed the skin of his neck and you felt that invisible electricity that connected you, like a silent magnet that couldn't be avoided.

"Sometimes everything is so overwhelming, right?"

"I've wanted to leave since we got here," he confessed, making you smile.

One of his hands went to your waist, holding you gently and moving his thumb up and down, as if with that he could calm your anxiety.

"Hold on a little longer, just a little bit."

"And you? Are you okay?"

"Wonderful"

"I haven't told you that you look beautiful, have I?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, you look gorgeous."

At his compliment you smiled softly, and caught his gaze slipping to your lips. You knew what he wanted. Or what would make him feel better, anyway.

"Do you think they'll notice we've been gone for a few minutes?" you asked, tilting your head. Bob smiled back, the sweet, mischievous glint in his eyes only deepening what you already felt for him.

"Maybe," he said in a low voice, "but what does it matter?"

Without further warning, Bob brought his face closer to yours with restrained patience, as if he wanted to record every second before giving in. His other hand rested firmly on your cheek, while his lips sought yours with an intensity that took your breath away.

The kiss started slow and uncertain, but within seconds, passion erupted. His lips pressed against yours with a mixture of desire and tenderness that left you speechless. The hand that had previously been on your waist slid purposefully down your back, pulling you closer, melting into that small space that was now yours.

The world disappeared. Nothing mattered more than that burning touch, that electric brush that made you feel alive and yearned for. At some point, he lowered his hand to your thigh, and you lifted your leg, letting him caress your skin.

You continued for a while, and when you finally broke apart, Bob leaned his forehead against yours, breathing heavily, a satisfied smile curling his lips.

"I guess you feel more relaxed now, huh?"

"Definitely," he exclaimed.

His hand gently released your leg until it was back in place, and then you both took a step back. You tried to smooth your dress, and Bob tried to fix his suit, hoping to look as natural as possible. A giggle escaped you when you noticed Bob had traces of your lipstick on, which you tried your best to remove.

To avoid suspicion, you left first, and a few minutes later he did. Just in case.

That was the calm. And then—the storm.

The next morning, well into the day, you woke up intending to find something for breakfast. The sight of all your friends gathered at the bar made you frown, thinking the worst. Most of them looked shocked. Bob, on the other hand, was completely pale.

"Good morning, young lady."

"Is something wrong?"

"Haven't you seen your phone?"

Everyone was focused on you while you tried to remember where you'd left off. You were barely awake yet, and you already had to deal with them.

"It's dead. I couldn't find my charger last night," you explained simply.

Yelena, still in her pajamas, reached out to give you hers. On the screen, there was a conversation, apparently from your group chat.

Mel: Valentina wants to know what this means.

Accompanying the message was a link to a compilation of headlines and photos from various digital media outlets. They all featured the same images: Bob and you arriving at the gala together, walking arm in arm with the ease of a long-established couple. But not only that: someone had captured on camera the fleeting, secret moment when you were secretly kissing in a corner, the intimacy of the moment glimmering in the shadows. The most scandalous outlets had added the obscene moment when you had your leg raised against his side.

"Fuck…"

"At least now we'll talk about the gala, right? That's what Valentina wanted."

"I think that you were more like firewood and fire than an extinguisher and fire."

"Yelena, will you shut the fuck up?"

"What? I'm just saying. Some articles say you look like you were about to take off your clothes…"

Overcome by anger, the embarrassment of the moment, you reached out to push your friend off the stool she was sitting on. There were two problems: you didn't measure your strength, and when she fell, Yelena made sure to grab your arm to pull you with her.

Bob was the first to spring up, approaching you to help you up, worried that either of you had hurt yourselves. You expected her to lunge at you and start hitting you, but that didn't happen. Instead, the loudest laughter you'd ever heard burst from her throat.

"Why did you do that?!"

"Lena, I'm so sorry…"

"You threw me out! What's my fault if you two decided to make out last night?"

"Shut up, for God's sake…"

While Bob tried to lift her, you reached out to cover her mouth, completely in vain. He gave up helping you when he saw you struggling, more out of pride than because you were actually upset.

"Who would have thought it, Bob? You've tamed the beast."

"Shut your mouth, Walker, you're next!"

Walker joined in the chorus of laughter. Soon, everyone else followed suit.

You thought that now that your affair was a matter of public interest, at least you wouldn't have to think about how to tell your friends. Valentina could go to hell.

In a strange, yet pleasant way, the revelation of the secret felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest. When you looked at him, smiling shyly, you suspected it was a shared feeling.

[becauseheartsgetbroken-hs]

Do you have any harry fics you’d recommend on here and on wattpad?

you asked for fic recs and i took the assignment very seriously (maybe too seriously? lol) my friend so here's a list that i think you'll vibe with:

on wattpad:

duplicity by happydays1d (i know, i know i always talk about it but this one has me absolutely feral. 😭 it’s dark, dramatic, and addictive in a “just one more chapter at 2AM” kind of way lol. but what really got me? the character development. 🥹 like, watching these characters unravel and rebuild themselves is truly amazing. i’ve been thinking about them way more than is normal hehe - plus duplicity harry is my pookie 🥹)

complicity by happydays1d (it's sequel to duplicity - if duplicity wrecked me, complicity came back for the emotional leftovers lol)

*also bonus recs if you find yourself enjoying a julez (happydays1d) binge reading (like me):

malignant, hideaway, devotion (it's her earlier work and while they have more like a "chaotic fanfic energy" vibe, they’re a blast to read. also i think it's super fascinating to see her growth as an author - major props to her! 💞)

*moving on*

devil's due by petit_cerise (okay, so i didn’t connect with this one as deeply as the others - but that’s 100% a me thing. a ton of people love it, and i still had a great time reading it.🥰 it's beautifully written and the drama is like on fire.)

flower girl by @sushirrrry (my bestie laur @daydreaming-laur recommended it to me and it’s such a beautiful story: soft in some ways, gut-punching in others and the characters feel so real)

*also these are on my TBR and I’m dying to get to them, i just haven’t had the time (or emotional strength) yet lol:

aerial by peanutboyfriend (this one’s been haunting my TBR thanks to my friend dreea @fkinavocado , she has amazing taste and if she says it’s great, i believe her. 🙌)

nine blue signs by littledovedoll (someone recommended this to me on here a couple months ago and it’s been quietly sitting on my list ever since. i haven’t read it yet, but my friend laur @daydreaming-laur has and she loved it - and honestly, if laur’s into it, that’s all the endorsement i need 🥰)

stall by MysteryMixtapes (this one’s is also a classic but i haven’t read it yet - i know, i know - but it’s been on my radar forever. everyone who's read it seems obsessed, and the hype has me very curious.)

cherry by fuxkingharrry (everyone says it’s so well written and basically great. so yeah, i have to read it!)

on tumblr (a mix of old loves and new finds):

okay so some of these are like classics 💕 (the kind that stay with you forever and you come back to them every now and then) and others are more recent gems i’ve come across. they’re a mix of series, one shots and blurbs bc i didn't know what you'd preferred:

404 by @freedomfireflies (well obviously, this wouldn’t be a proper rec list if i didn’t mention @freedomfireflies 💖 her writing just hits! there’s always so much heart, tension, and ✨vibe✨ in her words. this one is one of my absolute favs - it’s sharp, emotional, and laced with just the right amount of angst. the writing is so atmospheric, and the tension? *chef’s kiss*.)

pillow talk, the playboy, the angel and the fae by @freedomfireflies as well. (well she has this uncanny ability to get inside her characters’ heads and make you feel everything right along with them and basically if she wrote it, I’m reading it. that's it.)

butterfly boy by @looselucy (okay, butterfly boy is everything. i’m talking laughing, crying, full-on emotional rollercoaster. it's just so well written with so much heart. amazing, truly!)

a toast to the future by @narryffdreaming (toast to the future is one of those fics that’s just.. wow 🤯 dani has this rare talent for making her characters feel so real, like you can practically hear their thoughts. it's actually mind-blowing how she can dive into those layers of complexity while still making it feel so natural.)

teach me by @jarofstyles (listen- teach me is so hot like really hot 🔥 the writing is so smooth and it really sets the mood.)

off limits by @harryslittlefreakk (fire. this one has that perfect mix of steamy tension and just a hint of angst that makes the whole thing like so hot.)

enigma by @heartateasee (the angst? top-tier. the misunderstandings? so deliciously painful. the tension? you could cut it with a knife. loved it.)

talk nerdy to me also by @heartateasee (what can i say? HOT, HOT, HOT.)

no loss by @adorebeaa (like, flirty banter? great. sexual tension? off the charts. would read it again in a heartbeat- she absolutely nailed the vibe✨)

hawthorn also by @adorebeaa (hawthorn is like watching a movie in your head like it's amazing)

truth or dare and sex tutor by @gurugirl (her writing feels always so effortless. she just knows exactly how to make every story hit just right.)

something old by @didhewinkback (i read it a while ago and i’m seriously thinking it might be time for a reread - that’s how much i loved it. honestly, it’s the kind of story that stays with you long after you’ve finished it, and i can’t wait to dive back into it again)

harry and Y/N are in the same ballet class, and they hate each other by @jawllines (let’s just say that this one had me feeling things. like, I’m over here blushing and squirming in my seat because that harry? holy hell.. 😩 he had me weak in the knees.)

oh also this one by @jarofstyles (it had me blushing and kicking my feet - loved it.)

press play by @cloudyluun (well, if you like your fics with a big dose of passion and intensity, this one will definitely leave you flushed in the best way hehe)

his angel by @ghstyles (it's the perfect mix of a little dark and a little soft hehe it keeps you totally hooked!)

player, do anything, make her regret it and valerie by @watchmegetobsessed (her writing is sharp, creative, and emotionally rich. every story feels fresh. she’s just so talented.)

it's you by @ijustmissyouraccenths (the writing is so good, the vibes were on point and now i’m super curious to check out more of her work. definitely keeping an eye on her stuff from now on.)

okay so… i definitely got carried away. like, hard. 🥲 i started this thinking i’d rec a few fics and i ended up here lol i had so much fun putting this together (shoutout to 1d for soundtracking the entire chaos and keeping me emotionally charged through it all lol) i know i forgot some amazing stories and authors, and for that i'm so sorry! seriously though, how lucky are we to have writers who pour so much talent into these stories? 🥹

anyway, hope you find something here that makes you feel things or just gives you a really good time! 😍 let me know what you think, and happy reading friend! ❤️

[studiogrimm810]

Sweet Apple Pie

pairings/characters: (pining) dean winchester x gn!you

summary: subconsciously showing your affection for dean through baking leads to him admitting his feelings for you he didn't even know he had

warnings: fluffy and angsty, tension, pretty tame just super yearning

word count: 2,998

A/N: this was a request!! hope you enjoy (especially since this is my first dean fic lol) let me know how i did, i v much wanna start writing more for dean so PLEASE send requests!!!! ^.^

———————

The first time you made good use of the bunker's industrial kitchen was only a few weeks after you took residence with the brothers. Baking was an activity dear to your heart, and ever since you were a little kid you had made all sorts of sweet creations for you and others to enjoy. Unfortunately, due to life on the road hunting, an oven was hard to come by for such a casual hobby. But now that you’re presented with such a spacious kitchen already loaded with just about any appliance you could ever need, you had decided it was about damn time you whipped up your favorite apple coffee cake muffins.

You had never forgotten the recipe, nor the idle skill of measuring with your heart, so they came out perfect. The mouthwatering aroma of brown sugar and apple quickly filled the kitchen and spilled out into the hallways of the bunker.

When you had placed the sweets out to cool, it wasn’t long before Dean found his way to the rack with tunneled vision. You expected the boys to sample your creations, even hoped for it, but what you didn’t expect was the swell in your chest at the way Dean melted with delight as he took a too-big bite.

“God,” he had groaned, following with your name that he practically moaned. And holy fuck, did that awaken something you didn’t think you’d ever allow yourself to feel for the older Winchester. “Where have you been all my life?�� He said, and looking back you could tell that he was just momentarily drunk on the baked good, but fuck, the way his face almost adored you with appreciation continued to stir the illogical thoughts in your chest.

Those same illogical thoughts caused you to, only a few days after the muffins, throw together some kitchen sink cookies. Now okay, hear out the process before judging. Dean Winchester is a closed off man, you’ve known him for a while now and his tough exterior is rarely ever cracked. Sure, he can be sarcastic and have a childish sense of humor at times, but it is still obviously a deflection to you. Never, and you really mean never, had you seen his guard fall like it did when he tasted that muffin.

You can also tell he didn’t even realize that he had let it happen. Maybe it was the domestic nature of the situation, or the lazy day that let his veil fall. Certainly, the reasoning didn’t matter, what did matter was the way you were able to unknowingly chip away at his tough exterior with something as simple as sugar.

It’s a late night and you stayed behind while Sam and Dean ran an errand regarding matters with Crowley that you weren’t really involved with- not that you were complaining. It was rare you got to enjoy moments like this to yourself.

You played your music loud as your body swam across the kitchen, stirring, rolling, and pressing the cookie dough and placing it neatly in the oven. Once a timer was set, you started on the dishes and hummed along to the music. You swayed your body and cleaned with a pep in your step.

Let’s go over again how loud your music was set, loud enough that you didn’t hear the front door open and latch back shut. You also didn’t hear the voices of the brothers and their footsteps as they ducked into the kitchen with amused smiles. And it was embarrassingly long before you noticed their presence, when you did, your heart nearly stopped.

“Jesus!” You exclaim, clutching your chest and scoffing an embarrassed chuckle. “Feel free to announce yourselves next time,” you shake your head and reach to pause the music. Looking between them, they looked exhausted and clearly the deal hadn’t gone how they wanted.

But beyond the exhausted look in his eyes, you saw a glint of vulnerability that made your breath catch. Something about the way Dean’s eyes watched you with such warmth holds a domestic feel beneath them. His eyes rake your body, presumably finding humor in your powdery apron wrapped taut around your waist due to the curled smirk on his lips.

“Enjoyin’ yourself, sunshine?” He asks with a raised brow that crowns his softened features as he shrugs off his coat and lays it on the back of a chair. His tone rushes a wave of heat to your cheeks in embarrassment. You turn back to the counter and try to look busy.

“Thought you were supposed to call on your way back,” you snarked lightly, trying to act nonchalant. Dean rounds the island and cracks open the oven and you’re quick to smack his hand with the closest item to aid you- a dish towel. “Hey! You’ll let all of the heat out,” you shove him away and replace your body in front of the appliance to latch the oven closed and keep guard. You spin around and Dean is standing with his hands raised in compliance.

“Don’t blame me,” he shrugs, his eyes still oddly melted with the glint that you’ve never seen before, or maybe just never registered.

“If you want cookies, you need to be patient,” you insist, setting the towel back down and untying your apron.

“I think I can manage that,” he smirks, scrunching his face up like he’s settling but the way his eyes crack back open, the warmth remains. Almost intensifies. “Now,” he leans against the counter on his elbow and latches his hands together. “How long am I expected to wait?” He asks, looking right at you.

You scoff and turn to grab the timer, “you’re unbelievable,” you mumble. “Five minutes, now is that gonna kill you?” You look back at him with a tilted head and feigned concern. The attitude is smacked right off your face as his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

“I think you can manage, Dean,” Sam speaks up, startling you with his reminded presence. You whip your head over to spot him, leaned along the door frame with his arms crossed and a slight roll to his eyes. “Smells great in here,” he compliments, pushing off of the frame, “save me a cookie or two, but I’m beat. Gonna call it a night.”

“Y-yeah, night, Sam!” You call after he’s started to leave, collecting your thoughts and feeling a little shameful that you forgot he was even in the room.

“Can I get you anything?” Dean asks, on his way to the drink cart to pull out a crystal bottle of whiskey. You’re still trying to play catch up with your flustered state but force the words out.

“Double, thanks,” you murmur, taking a subtle deep breath. He pours the drinks and hands you yours as he claims a bar stool. The two of you discuss your days mindlessly and you try to ignore the dimming glint and focus on the guard he’s let down. He’s honest with you and not cagey like he usually is with his words.

It isn’t long before the cookies are done and you pull them out to cool. And after insisting that he needs to be patient, he still can’t help himself as he burns his mouth with a gooey cookie and a satisfied moan.

“Damn, you’re good,” he says like he almost doesn’t believe it. He eats two more cookies before they’ve fully cooled and you two continue to discuss whatever.

———

The muffins, the cookies, a few sweet breads and some specialty pastries later- you now decide it’s time to make Dean’s favorite. You’ve been wanting to try at an apple pie for a while now and tonight was the perfect night. You had just gotten back from the store, bag of apples and a few other needed items in hand, and you excitedly set them up in the kitchen where Sam was making dinner.

“Smells delicious,” you compliment, placing your items out of the way until Sam is done with his meal. He glances over his shoulder at you with a warm smile. You can bake like nobody's business but you were a complete lost cause when it came to a savory meal.

“Stuffed peppers with rice,” he lists his meal. As you near his spot hovered over the stove, you see six hollowed peppers in a baking dish and a skillet filled with grilled chicken, onions, tomatoes and jalapeños.

“Hell yeah,” you approve, going to the fridge to fetch yourself a beer. You hold up the one in your hand as a silent offer to Sam and he declines.

The kitchen was calm and homey and the silence was comfortable as you sat at the bar and watched Sam work. However, after filling the peppers with the cooked combination, you could tell something was on his mind. He retrieves a block of cheese from the fridge and a grater from the cabinet to crumble a layer of queso fresco over the peppers. Once the pan is in the oven and a timer is set, he turns to you, curiosity in his eyes.

“Is that stuff for an apple pie?” He raises a brow, gesturing towards the items you recently purchased.

“Yep!” You say with a nod and a swig of your beer. “Pie’s are a first for me, believe it or not,” you chuckle.

“Well good luck,” Sam nods simply, still not saying something that you can tell he wants to but you don’t pry. He pushes off the counter and heads out the kitchen, “Oh hey, can you get those out in about 10 minutes? I gotta take care of something real quick but I’ll be back to do my share of dishes.”

“You got it,” you stand to start your apples. You pull out a cutting board, knife, and peeler, and start on the apples. Humming softly to yourself and prepping the fruit. The 10 minutes pass quickly and you pull out the peppers, placing them on the stove next to the pot of finished rice. You’re about to call for the brothers when Dean rounds the corner.

“Hey,” you greet with a warm smile, scooping some cut apples in a bowl. He just ticks his head up with a dull smile, he looks nervous. Your own smile falls and you try to examine him. “Dean?”

He heads straight to the fridge and grabs a beer.

“Yeah?” He asks, popping the cap with his ring and taking a generous swig.

“You okay?” You ask, setting down your knife. Dean avoids your gaze.

…“I’m telling you, man. Whether they know it or not, they’ve got heart eyes for you like crazy,” Sam says in a shushed voice and a knowing smile.

“No,” Dean rolls his eyes and stands from his relaxed position at a table in the library.

“Dean, you’re not that brain-dead. They’re making you an apple pie as we speak. And it’s not like you haven’t been returning the glances,” Sam keeps his voice hushed but a bit sharper for emphasis. Dean considers his words, thinking back to the more intimate moments shared between you, him, and a freshly baked dessert…

“Yeah, sorry, just a busy day,” he shakes his head to knock out his thoughts but it doesn’t work.

…Pistachio croissants. Sam’s favorite of yours that you’ve made so far and it took Dean some convincing to try but for you, of course he did. This was the first time Sam really put it together. Years of Dean complaining about Sam’s ‘rabbit food’ and mocking him for it but here he is, trying a ‘weird green food’ just because you asked it of him. And he loved it. You laughed when Dean tried to suppress an eye roll at how annoyingly good the pastry turned out to be…

“I understand,” you say, biting a small portion on the inside of your lip and looking down to the apples. “I’ve got a new dessert in the works if you’re interested.” You offer, your smile returning out of pure excitement.

Whether it’s the idea of pie or the happy expression on your face, Dean's lips perk and the nervous pit dies down in his stomach.

“Apple pie,” you say, popping a cut piece of apple in your mouth.

…The first time Dean felt it unknowingly, was when you had made strawberry cupcakes- your favorite. After frosting all dozen of them with Dean's help, there was just enough icing to scoop up on your finger and suck off. Call him a romantic if you want, but good lord that act made him lose all train of thought and ended up causing him to seek out the next time you used your mouth in such a way…

Dean has to tear his eyes away from your face and he goes to look at Sam’s cooking.

“Don’t they look great?” You ask, eager to dig in but waiting for Sam to come back to take his pick first. Dean doesn’t respond.

He turns back to face you as you take the bowl of cut apples to wash off in the sink. The contentment in your figure swells something in his chest. You look at peace. He’s seen you- the killer you. When you’re neck deep in vamps, you become a machine. Your face hardens with a snarl as you abandon your mercy for the sake of the fight. He always admired how committed you could be in a hunt, it reminded him of himself, but now as he sees you wrapped in an apron and your hair neater than usual, he can’t help but adore. Your clothes are comfortable and not tactile, there are no bruises or cuts on your exposed skin, and there is no edge to your being. You’re comfortable.

You set the bowl of rinsed apples back on the counter and catch Dean's eyes. He looks pained. Like a deep ache is pulling him down but something keeps his eyes determined.

“What’s going on?” You ask, taking a few steps closer to him. This mood isn’t like him. He doesn’t get stuck like a deer in headlights over anything, but something has him frozen. He opens his mouth to speak, darting his eyes away, but nothing comes out. He places his beer off to the side and rubs the back of his neck.

You wait patiently, wiping your hands dry on a clean portion of your apron and just watching him. You make sure to look more over his shoulders or his stubble, hoping to seem less intimidating by not staring directly into his eyes. But when you feel his gaze land back on you, you meet him again.

Before you can form an encouraging smile, he progresses to you, his hands cupping your jaw and pulling you up to him. A quick gasp parts your lips and locks into him. His brows are scrunched in pain but he transmits nothing but pure need in his kiss. He knows this is stupid. He knows this is useless. He just can’t seem to care.

His dominant hand stays on your jaw as the opposite slides around to you back of your neck and down your back, pressing you into him.

You finally catch up with him and your hands find their way under his flannel and to his waist, digging your nails into his sides and anchoring yourself to him as you tug at his shirt.

His breath warms your lips when he remembers to breathe, resting his forehead against yours. His eyes are still screwed shut and he looks regrettable. You move your dominant hand to rest on his cheek and he leans into it instantly as if it’s a magnet.

You don’t say anything, you just let him take the time he obviously needs. And when he finally opens his eyes, they’re red with threatened emotion.

“Am I really that good a baker?” You ask with raised brows and a soft chuckle. A small smirk lifts his lips and he closes his eyes with a loaded sigh.

“We’ll have to see how that pie comes out first,” he jokes back with a more confident smile. Your thumb caresses the apple of his cheek and his eyes remained closed as if to place all of his focus on the physical affection.

“What made you do that?” you ask, not stopping the soft motion on his skin.

“Stupid ignorance,” he says it like a joke but you know he believes it to be true.

“Thank god for that then,” you combat, not wanting to think a kiss that damn good as a mistake.

“I just couldn’t help myself. You-,” his words catch in his throat and he keeps his eyes closed. Your thumb still runs along his skin.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” you shake your head and his hand slacks to rest on your collarbone. You rise up to press a soft and delicate peck to his lips, and he desperately leans in for more as you pull away. He finally opens his eyes again and he looks like a teased puppy.

“Help me get this pie made and in the oven and I’ll touch you all you want,” your eyes dip down to his lips as you run your hand down his neck in a teasing manner. You look back up at him through feigned innocent lashes with a tilted head, awaiting his response.

He swallows and wets his lips. You can see a playful womanizer glint in his eyes but he’s drunk on your touch so all he can do is nod with a smile of relief at how well his impromptu decision to kiss you went. He follows every instruction you give him but he can barely keep his hands off your body as he watches you work. He really is helping- one handed tasks are helping, you rationalize. And you also note how swift he is with just one hand. How enticing.

———————

thank you so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest) >>check out my other works here

>tags: @blossomingorchids

[kryannoy]

MOTIVATION FOR STUDY??

genre: fluff, sfw

characters: suo, sakura

summary: you need to study as exams are in just a week but... you're tired. instead, he suggests to fulfill any reward you ask for for studying. you ask for him

SUO HAYATO

"How about this; what do you want as a reward for studying at least an hour?" He asks.

"An hour???"

"Trust me, it will be worth it. Think carefully of your reward then."

"Hmm . . ." You ponder what reward you want for the hard work you'll put later. A drink? Well, you can always get that. Candy? Doesn't seem worth it. Traveling? Seems too far-fetched and doesn't seem balanced for a 1-hour study.

Maybe something you really want right now is . . .

"You."

Suo's eyebrows lifted in surprise, his eye changed. He seems taken aback by your unexpected answer.

"Me? Specifically, what do you want from me?" His head is tilted to the side and his smiling face is back on his facade again.

"I want hugs and kisses . . . and cuddles! From you. I want to snuggle up with you." You're already imagining your reward but you haven't even sat down at your desk not even open up a book!

Suo gives out a light chuckle. It would be a lie if he said he didn't melt from your request and felt suffocating, but in a good way, his heart became. He's just good at keeping a normal composure all throughout the day.

"You really are charming in your own way," he says. "Okay! But only if you study for at least one hour. Then you get what you want for the rest of the day."

Your face immediately lights up when you hear "the rest of the day". You thought that he might be a little more mean, something like saying cuddles and kisses are for your 5 minute breaks, or you have to recall to him what you learnt. But maybe you're just wrong for today? Or maybe he's feeling generous? Or maybe he's giving you a chance? Or maybe it was really just a wrong intuition?

Whatever it is, it made you feel motivated now to study. If you start now, you get more time with him. And so you do.

Suo checks in on you from time to time to make sure you're comfortable but not comfortable enough to accidentally fall asleep. He'll send you tea or snacks but never disturbed you. But, he was actually a little mean. You thought you were going to get a kiss or at least a head pat when he came to your room when sending those food to you, but he didn't. He didn't even touch you!

He really wants you to savour it so your reward will be worth while, that's all.

After an hour, as promised, he came back to your room and told you you can claim your reward now.

"Wait, let me finish this chapter real quick."

He smiles at this. That's why he tells you to study for one hour because he knows you'll start to be so focused on it that you don't even realize your surroundings. And seems like you almost forgot that feeling of wanting to be enveloped by a larger body.

However, he was a little sad to hear that you want to study more. He was actually looking forward to giving you cuddles too.

And finally, after another 30 minutes, you're finished. You closed up everything—your book, your notes, your laptop—got up from your chair, do a little stretch before turning to him and he's already standing near your bed, waiting for you. Just the sight of him makes those feelings earlier before starting to study rush back into you, especially when he reaches out a hand for you and that damn, sweet smile playing on his lips.

You pretty much dive right into his arms and Suo gave you the best hugs, kisses, cuddles and snuggles because you deserved it and he is proud of you.

SAKURA HARUKA

"But I don't wanna study!!" You whine while sprawled on the floor, kind of throwing a tantrum.

"Then don't study if you don't want to!" He retorts, his voice shows annoyance but he's not even annoyed the slightest.

"But I have to . . ."

"Fine, then what do you want after you study? I'll try and get it for you," he suggests while rubbing the back of his neck, his ears are turning red. Obviously, he mumbles the last part but you still hear it.

It surprises you to hear that, especially coming from him. It gets you excited to start studying. You hummed while making a decision for your prize later.

You don't exactly want anything from him but you do know one thing, or two, that you want but you know he might be hesitant about this.

"You."

Oh boy. You know he was going to get flustered but you didn't expect him to yell out a "HAAAA????!" that makes the roof shake.

"Wh—what the hell do you mean by that?!!!"

"I want you, Haruka," you say in a matter-of-fact tone, like it was an obvious answer—which it is. "I want you to hold me after. Is that okay?"

How could he say no to that? How could he say no to your pity face, puppy eyes, raised eyebrows and concerned voice? Gosh, he would hit himself and regret for the rest of his life if he said no.

He grumbles under his breath and in the smallest, tiniest voice he could muster, he said, "sure, whatever."

And you guessed it, with a burning red face.

You were so happy you almost wanted to hug him right then and there but you held back. And so, you open up your books and whatever that makes you focus and drown out your surroundings, and start studying while Sakura waits nearby while mentally—and physically—preparing himself for your reward. He'd say the biggest lie if he said he wasn't nervous!

Maybe he should've said no, maybe he shouldn't have accepted just because he wanted to get close to you, he wanted to be selfish, he wanted to feel another person's warmth, your warmth. But if he did say no, he'd probably make a mistake, you'd probably get sad, or mad, or even upset at him for taking back his words. Who wouldn't? You probably think he's a weirdo for accepting something like that so easily. Maybe he should've—

"Haruka?"

The voice in his head immediately stopped going a mile a minute once he heard your soft yet concerned voice.

"I've been calling for you for the past minute. Are you alright? It's already been an hour."

He looked at your face and he wasn't sure. Why do you look so . . . ? Can he feel this way towards you? Can he even think you're worried about him?

"We don't have to do that reward thing if you don't want that. I'll think of something else."

"No!" He said almost too immediately, too desperately. "I-I mean, no. You don't have to change it. It's something you want after all." His eyes are looking everywhere but you.

It's cute.

"Really? Are you sure?" You ask once again, just to get a hundred percent clarification. You don't want to do something only one person enjoys. You want the both of you to feel that joy.

"Tch, yes, I'm sure! After all . . . it's not only you who wants it."

He doesn't know how you can still hear him but somehow, when it comes to things like this, you suddenly have very sharp hearing.

You immediately dive into his arms and lap and snuggle up into his chest. Yes, you know it's a little too sudden for him, but you couldn't hold back the burst in your heart from how cute he was expressing his true feelings.

You can definitely hear his heartbeat thumping loudly and rapidly off his chest but you didn't mind that. You just prayed that he doesn't faint or anything. He's such a strong guy but a soft boy on the inside.

After he cleared his head a little, you feel arms wrapped around your body and immediately you melt in, if possible.

Maybe . . . he never should have said no.