#and why do i always start overthinking then even when it comes to simple words like lukea

[alucardsinep]

suomen kielen opiskelijat b like

[hotchswifey]

insomnia - dean winchester x reader

(this is the first thing i have written in about 2 years 😭😭😭😭

it kinda sucks but i like it

warnings: insomnia (i am aware that any sleep disorders cannot be cured by another person and i do not mean to take away from people who suffer from these conditions, this was just a cute little idea i had), a little angst?? (just about how much deans life sucks.), fluff, cuddling, overthinking, thinking badly about yourself (ur thoughts can be mean but ur lovely and brilliant <3333)

also i have a hc that dean goes really silent when he's tired, except he can't go silent around most people bc then they start to think something is really wrong™, but actually he is just too exhausted to try to talk (self-projection? maybe.)

word count: 2373)

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You rubbed at your tired eyes, walking into the bunker’s kitchen, your eyes adjusting to the light that definitely shouldn’t have been on - considering it was 3.32am. Your eyes fell on Dean, who was hunched over the island counter eating cereal. ‘Should’ve figured it was him who couldn’t sleep, too’, you thought. As bad as your sleeping habits had gotten, you always marvelled at Dean’s capability to be a functioning human with so little sleep.

He had noticed you as soon as you stepped foot in the room, but he did nothing to acknowledge your presence. Figures. You reasoned that the poor guy’s probably slept twice in the last week. You didn’t address him either; whether it was sleep deprivation or knowing he wanted to be left alone, you didn’t know. You just went to grab yourself a bowl of cereal. 

It was quiet (except for the sound of pouring milk and Dean’s chewing), but it was comfortable. It gave you some peace knowing you weren’t the only one who couldn’t sleep - something so simple yet far out of your reach. You didn’t know when it happened (your inability to sleep), but ‘it comes with the life,’ you supposed. You grabbed your bowl and left Dean to ponder on his own.

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You rubbed at your tired eyes again. The same routine - lay in bed for hours, eventually get up because you’re hungry, head to the kitchen and find the light on. Again and again, this happened - Dean always sat there. It had become a funny thing kind of (in an unhealthy, oh-my-god-i-just-want-to-sleep-but-i-guess-it’s-nice-to-see-dean type of way). 

He didn’t acknowledge you, you didn’t acknowledge him, you poured your cereal to the sound of Dean chewing and went back to your room to eat. You wished he would invite you to sit down, even if you both ate silently. It was nice not to be alone at night, overthinking every gruesome and terrible thing to come. But you knew it was Dean, and he definitely needed some peace, quiet, and alone time (and this was the most alone time he willingly gave himself). 

You ate back in your room, not sleeping for yet another night.

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You and the boys had just got back from a vamp hunt. Sore, tired and, frankly, pissed off. The hunt was fine, you all supposed. But, god, it takes a lot to completely decapitate somebody. Your energy was all drained, and the only thing you wanted to do was sleep - but could you? No. Of course, you couldn’t. Why? A thunderstorm? Fireworks? Gunshots? No. Because your brain hates you. God forbid you get an ounce of sleep.

Your routine ensued again, more sluggish this time and certainly more pissed. All you wanted to do was behead a few vamps and sleep it off, but no. Of course not. Try to sleep, fail to sleep, get up and haul your ass to the kitchen, pour cereal, eat cereal. How did your life become so dull?

The lights are on again. You think, ‘There is no way in all hell Dean is awake. That boy put himself through more physical torment you could ever even dream of (not that you’d want to)’. You weren’t too shocked when, even after today, you saw Dean sitting there.

It wasn’t a surprise that Dean Winchester (saviour of the world, the perfect killer) was still awake, even after killing eight vamps single-handedly (but from how he was sitting, you were sure he’d hurt his back on the hunt). Dean. Again. In the kitchen. Not sleeping.

You didn’t know why, but it pissed you off more than it should have. 

“Why are you still up?” You asked, walking past the island to the cereal cupboard. No response. Of course. You rolled your eyes, fishing out the box of lucky charms you reserved for awful days. You caught Dean’s eye as you turned around to get a bowl. 

He might’ve been the strongest man you knew physically and mentally, but he looked so tired. More tired than you had ever seen him. More tired now than after ending the apocalypse or returning from purgatory. How could he look so exhausted after one vamp hunt? You thought about it for a second, only now realising how many times you had gotten up and he had been in the kitchen. Every time you got up, he was in the kitchen. What are the chances that when you can’t sleep, neither can he? Or was it more likely he wasn’t sleeping at all?

If you were being truthful, the strongest man you knew looked like hell. He looked like a little boy who couldn’t sleep because he had a nightmare and wanted his mom. Except he wasn’t a little boy, he was living through the nightmare and had no one to turn to when things got bad.

You had felt pity for Dean before (how could you not, the man has quite literally been to hell and back), but this was a different kind of pity. This was the kind of pity that only came when things were terrible. When you realise this was how it had to be, how it would be, forever. The kind of pity that came when you realised you couldn’t do anything about it. You felt useless looking at him in his dressing gown, hunched over the counter.

He was the world’s saviour, and you had to assume that came with consequences - like not sleeping.

You didn’t say anything. Your anger had dissipated into sadness - sadness for being unable to help your friend. There was nothing you could say or do. There was nothing at all. You stared at him, and he stared back, and that was it. You went about your night - pour the cereal, return to your room, and not sleep.

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Another day. Another hunt. Another sleepless night.

You considered buying the strongest sleeping pills and calling it a day. But you knew you couldn’t. Dean would haul your ass out for another hunt tomorrow, and he’d be pissed if you were fast asleep.

‘He should take some sleeping pills’, you thought. Maybe he would actually be remotely okay then.

Not fall asleep, get up, walk to the kitchen, see Dean, not acknowledge each other, get your cereal and leave. Again and again. You may have liked it, though. Just that little bit of routine in your hectic lives. Even if it was a bad routine.

You poured your cereal, your back to Dean, in complete silence. It was nice. Comfortable.

You picked up your spoon, ready to head back to bed, and turned around to find Dean already looking at you. You paused on the spot, unsure as to why he was staring. He didn’t stop when you noticed him. He looked as tired as ever. The sight of him, looking exhausted, with a bowl of cereal and beer, was heartbreaking. It physically hurts to look at.

He looked at you, and you looked back. Silent. Again. You wish you knew what to say, but what could you say? ‘Hey, Dean. You look like shit.’ You were sure you looked just as bad.

The sudden eye contact didn’t end. You both are not blinking, not moving, simply just looking. It was like you were communicating telepathically, just understanding each other and the hell you were both going through. This life was bad enough with sleep.

He didn’t say anything when you moved to sit down next to him, he didn’t say anything when you began to eat your (soggy) cereal, and he didn’t say anything when you finished eating. He just drank his beer and ate his cereal wordlessly. He said nothing when you sat there for 5… 10… 15… 20 minutes. Not one word.

You wanted to know what was going on in his head so badly. You wanted to know how you could help if you could help. But Dean doesn’t share his problems. You knew that, Sam knew that Cas knew that- everybody in the damn world knew that.

You sat and sat and sat silently. Half an hour passed, then an hour, then two… before you knew it, Sam was walking in- tired and grumpy. The sun had risen (not that you could see it), and a new day had started.

“You look like shit, dude”, Dean said to Sam, who promptly rolled his eyes.

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This time, when you couldn’t sleep, you didn’t go to the kitchen. You just laid there. Unmoving. You’re sleep-deprived mind was overthinking everything- what if you fucked up on that hunt 3 years ago, and Sam and Dean still hate you to this day? What if Sam hates you? What if Dean hates you? What if Dean is so fucking sick of you interrupting his nightly cereal time? You were a victim of your mind- your thoughts and inability to sleep. 

Ugh. You were so hungry. But, right now, your brain was convincing you you were single-handedly Dean’s biggest annoyance right now (if Dean could read your thoughts right now, he would be calling you his biggest idiot).

A knock on your door startled you more than it should’ve (considering you had been hunting for quite a while at this point).

A knock. At (you looked over to your alarm clock) 3:34am. ‘Why is Sam awake at this time? Why’s he knocking on my door?’ you thought. ‘It can’t be Dean. I’ve done nothing but piss him off for the last month. You squint your eyes preemptively as you reach over to turn on the lamp by your bed and get up. The floor was cold under your feet, and your body was exhausted from the lack of sleep. You reached towards the doorknob, preparing to see Sam. 

Sam. Who was definitely not at the door. Because Dean was standing there, in boxers and a white t-shirt, holding 2 bowls of cereal, looking as tired as you felt. Huh.

He looked at you silently, extending one bowl towards yourself. You took it hesitantly, staring at him, confused. He didn’t react. He didn’t say a word. Just lifted his bowl to eat his cereal. You moved to give Dean the option to come in. It was like a silent agreement had happened between you. Cereal and silence.

He walked in and sat on your bed; you closed your door and joined him. Wordless. Silent.

Maybe, you weren’t annoying him. Perhaps, he enjoyed this as much as you did. Maybe. Maybe.

Ten minutes passed, and you finished your cereal and leaned over to put it on the mahogany desk. ‘The Men of Letters enjoyed a frivolous life, huh. Who needs a mahogany desk?’ You thought, trying to distract yourself from your overactive mind. Dean moved over to do the same, leaning into you whilst he did. 

He didn’t seem to lean away from you after that. He didn’t seem to move at all. He just sat close as you both stared at the wall, unblinking. God, you were tired. You just wanted to sleep. You felt like your body was going to shut down any day now.

“You should get some sleep,” Dean’s groggy voice came out of nowhere. It surprised you, him actually talking. 

“Yeah, I’m trying,” you replied. Hell, you were trying. You were trying so hard, you just needed to-. Dean moved before you could finish your thought, standing up and moving to the top of the bed, pulling back the dishevelled sheets. He laid down in the bed, propping his head onto his hands.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

You moved to join him in the tiny twin bed. He pulled back the covers to let you in. You weren’t too sure what to do with yourself, then. You sat there with your knees to your chin, shoulders hunched. He had invited himself into your bed, and you felt like you were invading HIS space. Why were you still overthinking this? Why were you still thinking he didn’t want you here? Obviously, he did! 

His arm wrapped around your shoulders before you could think anymore. You looked over at him, his green eyes reflective in the lamplight, and he looked back at you. Wordless. You gave him a small smile and moved to lie down. He joined you, his arm still wrapped around your shoulder. You debated whether you should lean against his chest but decided not to overthink it and just do it. You were sick of overthinking every little thing.

His other arm wrapped around your waist, yours wrapped around his. This was good. He was good. Nothing was exchanged between you; there wasn’t a need for words. You both knew this was what you two needed- each other. Dean had never really been alone (whether it was Sam, Cas, or Benny), and he needed somebody there to remind him that everything was okay. You were okay- sleep-deprived and needing a new career, but okay. 

Your eyes were shutting before you could help it. Dean’s steady heartbeat in your ear and arms around your body calmed you. It was almost funny how quickly you were falling asleep now. Months and months of sleepless nights, and all it took was Dean to be here, holding you. You wished you could enjoy it more (not knowing if this would happen again), but you were so goddamn tired. 

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You awoke the following day to repeated knocks on your door and Sam’s voice shouting your name. Damnit Sam. He opened your door before you even had the chance to fully wake up.

“Have you seen Dea- oh.”

The man in question was fast asleep, his arms still wrapped around you, your legs tangled together. You looked towards Sam as he mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ and left hurriedly. You were surprised it didn’t wake Dean. A pin drop could wake him up. You looked over at him, admiring how peaceful he looked. It was simple. Simple and nice and sort of domestic. Or as domestic as a hunter’s life can be.

You leaned against his chest, his arms tightening around you, falling back asleep.

You two had a different routine from then on- if either couldn’t sleep, you would find each other.

[paddockletters]

chihiro | trent alexander-arnold

request:Can you please write something for Trent inspired by chihiro something angst when Trent becomes distant toward the reader (gf or wife ) and less attentive . But she still gives him all of her but soon realizes that it breaks her, and it breaks her more because he hasn't realized pairing: trent alexander-arnold x reader summary: You find yourself in a heart-wrenching struggle as Trent pulls away, leaving you to question your worth. Despite your devotion, his distance shatters your spirit. As you confront the painful truth, a life-changing decision awaits, forcing you to choose between love and self-preservation. warnings: angst, gaslighting author's note: i really enjoyed writing this and i hope you liked it, ... Well, as I always say... english is not my first language so sorry me if there are mistakes —feel free to tell me— and my requests are open!👀

I’ve been feeling it for a while now—the distance, the way Trent pulls away without even realizing it. At first, I thought it was just me being too sensitive, that maybe I was expecting too much. But as the days went on, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. He was no longer the person who used to look at me like I was his entire world. Now, it felt like I was just... there.

I remember the early days, the way he used to hold me so tight, like he was afraid I’d disappear. I’d catch him staring at me with that boyish smile of his, and he’d say, "What? Can’t I look at my girl?" I’d laugh and tell him he was ridiculous, but I loved it. I loved the way he made me feel seen, loved, important. That version of Trent feels like a distant memory now.

Now? Now he barely looks at me.

The other night, I tried to talk to him—really talk. I had been holding it in for too long, trying to give him space, hoping he’d notice on his own that something was wrong. But he didn’t. So, I brought it up, carefully, not wanting to start a fight.

"Trent," I said, sitting on the couch while he scrolled through his phone, "I feel like we’re not… us anymore."

He glanced up, brow furrowing for a moment before looking back at his screen. "What do you mean?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to keep my voice steady. "I just… I miss you. I miss how we used to be. Lately, it feels like you’re a million miles away, even when you’re sitting right next to me."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I’ve been busy. You know that."

"I know, but…" I hesitated. "It’s more than that, Trent. I feel like I’m losing you, and I don’t know how to fix it."

His response was so simple, so dismissive. "You’re overthinking it."

Overthinking it. That’s what he said. And maybe I was, but it didn’t change the fact that I felt like I was pouring everything I had into this relationship while he was barely giving me scraps in return.

I gave him a small, sad smile, hoping it would break through his detachment. "I’m not trying to push you away, I just want… I just want us to be close again."

Trent shifted uncomfortably, clearly not in the mood for a deep conversation. "We’re fine. I don’t know why you’re making a big deal out of this."

The silence that followed his words was suffocating. I remember how my chest tightened, and I had to fight back the tears threatening to spill over. Why couldn’t he see it? Why couldn’t he see that I was breaking right in front of him?

There was a time he would come home, exhausted from training, and still find the energy to cuddle up with me on the couch, kissing my forehead, telling me about his day. I remember one evening after a tough match, he had pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me, and whispered, "You’re the best part of my day, you know that?"

But those days feel like they belong to a different lifetime now.

Another night, I cooked his favorite meal, hoping it would spark something between us—bring him back to me. He came home late, as usual, tired and distracted. He barely glanced at the dinner I’d spent hours preparing.

"Thanks," he muttered, barely looking at the table. He grabbed a plate and sat down, eyes glued to the TV, like I wasn’t even there.

I sat across from him, pushing my food around my plate, trying to find the courage to say something, but the words died in my throat. It wasn’t just that he was distant; it was like I had become invisible to him.

When did it get this bad? I wondered, feeling a heaviness in my chest. The love I had for him was still there, burning painfully bright, but it was slowly killing me to keep holding on when he wasn’t holding on to me.

And then came the night it all fell apart.

I couldn’t sleep. I had spent hours lying next to him, staring at the ceiling, my heart aching with the weight of everything left unsaid. I needed to say something, to make him understand, but I didn’t know how.

I slipped out of bed and went to the living room, sitting in the dark, hugging my knees to my chest. I must have been there for a while because, at some point, Trent came out, rubbing his eyes.

"Why are you out here?" His voice was groggy, but there was no concern in it. Just exhaustion.

I looked up at him, tears already spilling down my cheeks. "I can’t do this anymore, Trent."

He frowned, confused. "Do what?"

"This." I gestured between us. "Us. Whatever this has become. I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay when I’m not. I’m breaking, Trent, and you don’t even see it."

He ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "What do you want me to say? I’m doing the best I can."

"But your best isn’t enough anymore," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I’ve given you everything—my love, my time, my heart—and I’m still left feeling like I’m not enough. Like I’m the only one fighting for us."

He sat down across from me, sighing heavily. "I don’t know what you want from me."

"I want you to care," I said, my voice breaking. "I want you to look at me the way you used to. I want to feel like I matter to you again."

There was a long silence. I stared at him, hoping—praying—that he would say something, anything, to make me feel like I hadn’t lost him completely. But all he did was look away, rubbing his face in frustration.

And that was it. That was the moment I knew. He didn’t have it in him anymore, and I couldn’t keep pouring my love into someone who wasn’t willing to do the same.

"I love you," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "But I can’t keep hurting like this."

He looked at me, his eyes finally softening, but it was too late. "I don’t want to lose you."

I smiled sadly through my tears. "You already have."

That night, after Trent and I sat in silence, I knew it wasn’t just a phase. It wasn’t going to change overnight or even at all. The weight of it all was too much, and I didn’t know how to carry it anymore. My hands were shaking as I reached for my phone, scrolling through my contacts. I needed to talk to someone—someone who might understand.

My thumb hovered over my best friend's name, Jess. I hadn’t told her much about what had been going on, mainly because I didn’t want to admit how bad things were. But now, it was like the dam had broken, and I needed to get it all out.

I hit call.

She picked up after a couple of rings, her voice groggy. "Hey, what’s up? It’s late, everything okay?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to steady my voice. "Not really."

Her tone shifted instantly, becoming more alert. "What happened? Is it Trent?"

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. "Yeah. I just… I don’t know what to do anymore, Jess. It’s like I don’t exist to him. I love him so much, but I feel like I’m losing myself in the process of holding on to him."

There was a pause on the other end. Jess wasn’t one to sugarcoat things, but she also wasn’t the type to push unless I was ready.

"Has he said anything about how he feels? Have you guys talked?" she asked cautiously.

"We tried. Well, I tried. It’s like he doesn’t even see the problem. He keeps saying I’m overthinking it, that I’m making a big deal out of nothing. But it’s not nothing, Jess. It’s killing me."

There was another silence, and then she let out a deep sigh. "Babe, you deserve someone who sees you, who cares enough to put in the effort. I know you love him, but if he’s not giving you anything to hold on to, what are you supposed to do?"

I leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "I don’t know. I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I want to believe things will get better, but he’s so... distant. Like he’s already gone, and I’m the only one holding on."

Jess’s voice softened. "Have you thought about what would happen if you walked away?"

My breath caught in my throat. I had thought about it—many times. But actually doing it? The idea felt like ripping my own heart out. "Yeah. I’ve thought about it. But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to let him go."

“You are. You’re stronger than you think,” she said firmly. “But don’t make any decisions until you’re sure. Give it some time, see if he changes. But if he doesn’t... you deserve better, and you know that.”

The next day, I found myself dialing a number I hadn’t used in a while—Trent’s mom. She and I had always gotten along, and part of me wondered if she could help, if maybe she’d seen this side of him before.

"Hello?" Her warm, familiar voice answered, and for a moment, I felt a little less alone.

"Hey, it’s me," I said quietly.

"Oh, sweetheart, it’s so good to hear from you! How are you?"

I hesitated, my voice catching in my throat. "Not great, to be honest."

She paused, clearly sensing the heaviness in my tone. "Is everything okay with you and Trent?"

I let out a shaky breath, the tears I’d been holding back finally spilling over. "I don’t know. I feel like I’ve lost him. He’s been so distant, and I don’t know how to reach him. I don’t know what to do anymore."

She was silent for a moment, and then she sighed. "I’m so sorry, love. I’ve noticed he’s been a bit off lately, but I didn’t want to interfere. You know how he is—sometimes he gets so wrapped up in his own world that he doesn’t realize how it affects the people around him."

"Yeah," I whispered, wiping my eyes. "But I feel like I’m breaking, and he doesn’t even see it."

“Have you told him this? Really told him?” she asked gently.

"I tried. I told him how I felt, but he just brushes it off, like I’m overreacting."

There was a long pause before she spoke again, her voice soft. "I know he loves you. He may not show it the way you need right now, but I know he does. But if he’s not making you feel loved, if he’s not making you feel like you matter, you have to think about what’s best for you. You can’t keep giving and giving until there’s nothing left of yourself."

Her words hit me like a punch to the chest because they were the truth I hadn’t wanted to face. I couldn’t keep pouring everything I had into Trent if he wasn’t willing to meet me halfway.

"I don’t know what to do," I admitted, my voice breaking. "I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t keep living like this."

"No one can tell you what to do, love. Only you know what’s right for you. But whatever you decide, you deserve to be happy. Don’t settle for less than that."

That night, after talking to Trent’s mom, I lay in bed next to him, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on my chest. The silence between us was louder than ever, and for the first time, I wondered if this was how it was always going to be. If I was going to spend the rest of my life feeling like a ghost in my own relationship.

I thought back to the last time we’d had a real conversation—weeks ago, maybe more. I had asked for space, told him I needed some time to clear my head, to figure things out for myself. I had been so overwhelmed by everything then, but I thought that maybe stepping away, even for a little while, would make me feel better.

"I need to be alone for a bit," I had said quietly, standing in the doorway of our bedroom, my hand still gripping the edge of the doorframe.

He’d looked at me, his face unreadable, but nodded. "Take your time."

It had been a relief at first. I had gone for a long walk, let my thoughts run wild as I tried to make sense of what had been happening between us. I’d told myself that once I came back, we could figure things out, rebuild what had been crumbling.

But when I returned that night, the house had felt different. Colder. Like something essential had disappeared. And Trent… he wasn’t there in the way I needed him to be. Physically, yes, he was there. But emotionally, mentally? It was like he had already checked out. I had walked back into the same room, into the same life, but somehow, I was the one who felt lost.

Now, as I lay beside him, I could still feel that same emptiness between us. I rolled over, my back to him, blinking back tears as I whispered, "I miss you."

He didn’t respond. I don’t even think he heard me.

And that’s when I knew—I had taken a break, hoping to come back to something familiar, something that we could still fix. But instead, I had returned to someone who was already gone.

Weeks passed after that night. The silence between us only grew, consuming every corner of our relationship. I kept hoping—foolishly—that maybe something would change, that Trent would look at me the way he used to, or that he would finally notice the cracks that had been widening for months. But nothing came. No words, no apologies, no acknowledgment of the distance that had turned us from lovers into strangers.

One morning, I woke up and knew. It was like the weight of everything had finally sunk deep enough for me to let go. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep waiting for him to realize how much this was breaking me. So, I packed my things in silence. The room felt eerily calm, like it knew what was coming before I did.

Trent was at training, and for the first time, I was glad he wasn’t there. I didn’t have the strength to explain myself again, to beg for him to see me, to see us—the version of us that once existed. I left him a note on the bed, my hand trembling as I wrote the words that had been festering inside me for weeks.

"I can’t do this anymore. I gave you everything I had, but somewhere along the way, you stopped giving me anything back. I love you, Trent, but I love myself too much to keep breaking for someone who doesn’t even realize I’m shattered. Take care of yourself. Goodbye."

I walked out the door, my chest tight with pain, but for the first time in months, there was also a small sense of relief. I hadn’t felt this light in ages, even if it was paired with heartbreak. The hardest part was over. I was leaving.

"I guess this is it," I had said, my voice barely a whisper.

Now, weeks later, I sat in my new apartment, staring out the window as the city buzzed below. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe. The space around me was mine, filled with my own choices, my own life. But the ache in my chest was still there, lingering like a bruise that hadn’t quite healed.

It took time—too much time—but I finally realized something that had been staring me in the face all along. I had been waiting for him to notice me, to care enough to fight for us, but Trent had already made his choice. He’d been gone long before I ever walked out that door.

And now, after everything, I was the one who was finally gone. And for the first time in weeks, I realized… I wasn’t going to come back.

Then, one evening, while scrolling through my phone, I saw a text from a number I almost didn’t recognize anymore. It was Trent.

"I didn’t realize until now. You were gone, and I didn’t even notice. I’m sorry… for everything."

I stared at the message for a long time, feeling the tears pool in my eyes, but I didn’t reply. Because now, it was too late.

He had finally realized. But I was already gone.

[starlitmelanin]

feelings don’t lie | aurélien tchouaméni

pairing - aurélien x fem!reader

word count - 2.1k

warnings - none

summary - he wasn’t yours, and you weren’t his. you didn't know what to call it, what was happening between you, but you liked it.

you had never really believed in fairytales, the whole prince charming thing. it always felt too contrived, too far removed from reality. so when aurélien came into your life, it wasn't some grand gesture or a sweeping romance. it was small moments, little bits and pieces that somehow stitched themselves into something meaningful.

it started in the most unremarkable way. you were both at a party, one of those mind-numbing social obligations that you would rather skip. but you went, because sometimes you have to, and because your friends would drag you out of your cave if you didn't. aurélien was there too, not exactly blending in but not standing out either. just another face in the crowd, until he wasn't.

it was a simple conversation, really. you were standing by the bar, nursing a drink you didn't even like, when he came up beside you. "not a fan of the punch?" he asked, a slight smirk playing on his lips.

you glanced at him, not really in the mood for small talk, but something in his eyes held your attention. "it's terrible," you replied, and he laughed. it was a good laugh, genuine, and it made you smile despite yourself.

"i'm aurélien," he said, extending a hand.

"y/n," you replied, shaking his hand.

and that was it. no fireworks, no instant connection that made your heart race. just a simple introduction, two people making small talk at a party. but somehow, that night set off a chain of events that neither of you could have predicted.

you started seeing him more often, at parties, gatherings, even randomly at some upscale restaurant. it became a running joke between you two, how you always seemed to bump into each other.

"maybe it's fate," he'd say with a wink, and you'd roll your eyes but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips.

it wasn't long before you started spending time together outside of those chance encounters. coffee dates, movie nights, lazy afternoons in your apartment. it was all so easy, so natural. you didn't have to pretend or put on a facade. you could just be you, and he could just be him.

and that's where it got confusing. because you liked him, a lot. but it wasn't the all-consuming, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of like. it was softer, gentler. it was the way he made you laugh, the way he listened when you talked, the way he made you feel seen. it was the way he made you feel like you belonged.

but you weren't his, and he wasn't yours. there were no labels, no expectations. just two people enjoying each other's company, no strings attached. it was silly and fragile and good, and you didn't want to ruin it by overthinking.

one evening, you found yourself at his apartment. it was a modest place, not ridiculously fancy but comfortable, lived-in. he was cooking dinner, and you were sitting on the counter, watching him. it was one of those domestic moments that felt oddly intimate, and you couldn't help but wonder what it all meant.

"what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" he asked, glancing at you with a knowing smile.

"nothing," you lied, but he didn't buy it.

"come on, y/n. i know you better than that."

you sighed, playing with some spice container. "i don't know what to call this," you admitted. "what's happening between us."

he paused, looking thoughtful. "does it need a label?"

"i don't know. maybe?"

he placed the lid back over the pot, coming over to stand in front of you. he took your hands in his, his touch warm and reassuring. "do you like what we have?"

"yes," you said without hesitation.

"then let's not worry about labels. let's just enjoy it."

you nodded, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. he was right. why complicate things with labels and definitions? what you had was good, and that was enough.

and so, you continued. there were more coffee dates, more movie nights, more lazy afternoons. there were moments that felt almost like a relationship, but without the pressure. you became each other's confidants, sounding boards, safe spaces.

there were nights when he'd hold you close, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. there were days when you'd tease each other mercilessly, laughing until your sides ached. there were times when words weren't necessary, when just being together was enough.

but there were also moments of doubt. moments when you wondered if he felt the same way you did. moments when you questioned if you were just setting yourself up for heartbreak. because as much as you liked what you had, there was always that nagging thought in the back of your mind: what if it's not enough?

one night, after a particularly long day, you found yourself lying next to him, staring at the ceiling. you could hear his steady breathing, feel the warmth of his body next to yours. you felt safe, content. but there was also that familiar ache, the longing for something more.

"aurélien," you whispered, not wanting to wake him but needing to say it.

"hmm?" he murmured, half-asleep.

"what are we?"

he was silent for a moment, then turned to face you, his eyes soft and sleepy. "we're us," he said simply. "does that need to change?"

you shook your head, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "no, it's just... sometimes i wonder."

he brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle. "i care about you, y/n. a lot. but i don't want to rush things or put pressure on us. can we just be? for now?"

you nodded, feeling a mixture of confusion and sadness. it wasn't the answer you'd hoped for, but it was honest. and maybe that was enough. for now.

so you stayed. you continued to share your days and nights. you continued to build something, something that apparently didn't need labels to be real.

because in the end, it wasn't about defining what you had, right? it was about the way he made you feel, the way you made him feel. it was about the moments you shared, the memories you created. it was about finding something good in the midst of the chaos.

and maybe, just maybe, that was all that mattered.

or maybe it wasn’t.

days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and the rhythm of your connection with aurélien settled into something familiar yet always slightly unpredictable. you both continued navigating your own lives, but there was an unspoken understanding that you'd always find your way back to each other.

one evening, after a particularly grueling day at work, you found yourself at aurélien's door. you hadn't planned on going over, but the need to see him, to be in his presence, was too strong to ignore. you knocked lightly, and when he opened the door, the sight of his smile was enough to make the day's stress melt away.

"hey you," he greeted, pulling you into a hug.

"hey," you sighed into his chest, the scent of his cologne instantly calming your nerves.

"rough day?" he asked, leading you inside.

"you have no idea," you replied, kicking off your shoes and collapsing onto his couch. "i just needed to see you."

he sat down beside you, his hand finding yours. "well, you're here now. tell me all about it."

you talked, and he listened. he always listened. it was one of the things you appreciated most about him. he never tried to fix things or offer unsolicited advice; he just let you vent, understanding that sometimes, that's all you needed.

"thanks," you said after a while, your head resting on his shoulder. "for always being here."

"always," he replied softly, kissing the top of your head.

but as the months passed, the lines between this casual, nameless ‘thing’ between you and something slightly more continued to blur. there were moments when you caught him looking at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. moments when his touch lingered just a bit too long, his fingers brushing against your skin in a way that made you ache for more.

one night, you were both at a friend's birthday party. the atmosphere was lively, filled with laughter and music, but all you could focus on was him. he seemed to sense your gaze, his eyes meeting yours from across the room. without a word, he made his way over to you, the crowd parting like the red sea.

"want to get out of here?" he asked, his voice low and husky.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

you found yourselves at a small, quiet location, the night air cool against your skin. you walked in comfortable silence, the only sounds the rustling of leaves and the distant hum of the city.

"do you ever think about us?" you asked suddenly, the words escaping before you could stop them.

he stopped, turning to face you. "all the time," he admitted, his eyes searching yours.

"and?" you prompted, your heart pounding in your chest.

"and... i don't want to lose what we have," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "but i also don't want to live with 'what ifs.'"

"what are you saying?" you asked quietly, barely daring to breathe.

he took a step closer, his hand cupping your cheek. "i'm saying that i want to try. i want to see where this can go. but only if you do too."

tears welled in your eyes, not from sadness, but from the overwhelming emotion of the moment. "i do," you said, your voice slightly trembling. "i really do."

his lips found yours in a kiss that felt like coming home. it was soft and hesitant at first, as if you were both testing the waters, but it quickly deepened, a year's worth of unspoken feelings pouring out.

when you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other's. "so what now?" you asked, a small smile playing on your lips.

"now," he said, his thumb gently stroking your cheek, "we figure it out. together."

and you did.

it wasn't always easy, and there were moments of doubt, but you faced them together. you learned to communicate, to be vulnerable, to trust in what you were building.

the transition from friends to something more wasn't always smooth. there were moments when old habits clashed with new expectations, when you had to remind yourselves that you were in this together. but those moments of tension were always followed by moments of growth, of understanding each other a little better.

you found a balance between the comfort of your friendship and the excitement of your new relationship. you continued to share your lives, but now there was an added layer of intimacy, a deeper connection that made everything feel more profound.

there were lazy sunday mornings spent tangled in each other's arms, quiet evenings cooking dinner together, spontaneous adventures that took you to new places and brought you even closer. every moment, big or small, felt significant because you were sharing it with him.

and through it all, you never lost the feeling that had been there from the beginning—the feeling of belonging. he made you feel like you were exactly where you were meant to be, and you did the same for him.

one night, as you lay in bed together, the moonlight casting a soft glow over the room, you knew that whatever the future held, you would face it together. because what you had was no longer something fragile—it was something real, something that would endure.

something that would last.

[instant-delusions]

Could u write a jealous Shinobu x F reader? She’s jealous that reader is always hanging out with Giyuu. She thought reader always had a crush on her because of how reader acts infront of her (all shy and serious. Always trying not to embarrass herself infront of Shinobu). But seeing how talkative and friendly reader is with Giyuu, she starts overthinking and getting jealous of Giyuu. So she joins the duo and keeps on trying to get reader’s attention and throwing quick insults at Giyuu to try and make him not seem ‘cool’. Love the way u write!

tysm for the req! it's such a cute idea

𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙨𝙖𝙬

shinobu kocho x f! reader

cw: jealousy, a little angst

shinobu kocho was agitated. mindlessly pacing around the egawa of her butterfly estate, repeating the images - the burning images in her head. you, touching tomioka's hand to get his attention; you, tipping your head back in a heartfelt laugh at something he said. it made her gag. it made her hot with an odd, seething anger. an oily feeling in her stomach, sticking everywhere on her insides.

of course, she knew that expectation - hope - was something she had no right to have. in this line of work, it was a liability, a stupid distraction from what was about to come. though, she never shyed away from teasing you or from uttering sweet nothings to you. it was natural, a reflex, one might say, for you were so captivating. a beautiful blossom's nectar to a butterfly.

it was somewhere along the way you pursed your lips, in the way you adjusted your uniform, or the way hummed a tune, that she became entangled. it made the vein on her forehead pop in frustration. she shifted her knees slowly, noticing the soft sound of footsteps coming closer. with a low blow of air, she put out the flame of the senko, watching the cursive lines of smoke as the room filled with the smell of fennel.

"kocho!", there was a sweet voice and a knock at her door. carefully, as to not crumble her haori, she stood up to slide it open and walk out.

"well, hello, y/n." she smiled, observing the way you fiddled with your clothes, how you guided your eyes away from her gaze. it made her brows furrow. the insect hashira looked at her co-worker next to you, the ever so stoic giyuu tomioka. she almost sneered at him, failing to hide the twitch in her upper lip. truthfully, kocho harbored no ill feelings towards this man. it could almost be said that they're friends, though she was all too familiar with the feeling crawling up on her, anger, distaste, a hint of annoyance. a cocktail of emotions she sipped on every day.

"i wanted to ask if ... you were free this evening." you said quietly, and if tomioka had not been there, kocho knew it'd made a part of her facade crack. "why are you being so strangely introverted?" he asked, almost deadpanning. she watched as you nudged his side, with a hushed "hey!", almost scolding him. it made her want to tear his face off. "what's the occasion?" something in the way your eyes shot to her, and your cheeks reddened, made her mood lighter. "a new koi pond opened," you started, "we should toss some coins for luck."

shinobu didn't reply at first, pressing her lips into a thin line. "are you joining us, tomioka?" she asked - as always, her voice should've sounded nice, sickly sweet, almost, but it came out forced, sharp. the water hashira looked confused, almost put on the spot - as he'd expected to come along anyway. nevertheless, she knew how to play these games. using simple mind tricks to make someone uncomfortable and embarrassed, and they do what you want. right now, shinobu wanted him to leave. it was a difficult task to do without revealing her intentions and jealousy.

kocho shinobu is a planner, a schedule slave, each of her moves, and each of her words carefully picked. so, as the three of you reached the pond, she felt some sort of disappointment. it was as though something didn't work out, a step failed, the goal now seemingly out of reach - but when she looked at you, it was hard for her to rationalize her anger. if you did harbor feelings for tomioka, she deemed it was going well. you laughed at his dry jokes, the one she could barely even listen to, and he smiled, more often than she'd ever seen. it was unfair of her, knowing that even if she won you over, it would be ... fleeting. another plan cutting roughly through the one labeled love. her mind was so preoccupied with revenge and hate that it would be a shame to let you in, to taint you.

"kocho?" she blinked as her name rang in her ears, looking at you. "would you like to pet them as well?"

you both sat down at the rim of the pond, the stone warm from sunshine. she watched as you ran your fingers along the spine of a rather big koi, white and red in color. for a while, only the occasional splash could be heard. "are you okay, kocho?" said girl retracted her fingers from the pond, wiping it on her haori. "why do you ask?" she heard you hum in thought, poking another koi, a thinner one - orange. "you looked so irritated today, I wondered if it was because of something I did."

shinobu halted her movements, looking into the distance. a sort of melancholic look on her face. after a while, she lifted the corners of her lips into a little smile. "i'm...jealous of tomioka, it seems." she confessed, her tone indicating that she felt a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. "jealous?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. "whyever would you be?". kocho lifted her hand, hiding her lips behind it - a little chuckle escaping her, almost as if she found it ridiculous herself. "you talk and smile with him so openly..." she starts, "i want to be the one receiving your attention."

a blush rose in your cheeks, and she felt happy seeing the pink in your face. "oh, but kocho, my heart always beats too fast around you. i am almost unable to form a sentence." kocho tilted her head, her smile spreading even further. she could feel the fat of her cheeks bundle.

"promise to gift me more of your time."

[marvelouslizzie]

unconventional methods - chapter 3

Summary: Bucky and Bunny finally find some time to talk and clear things up. Will communicating solve their problems?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator SHIELD Agent Reader)

Word Count: 7.6K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, touch-starved couple, pet names, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering, p in v sex with no protection (both parties are clean and she’s on birth control), slight dirty talk if you squint, having a hard time to vocalize wants or needs, mentions of past trauma, mentions of forced sex work, overthinking, emotional support, no mention of y/n.

A/N: Once again, thank you so much for showing interest in this story. This is the last chapter but if you wonder something about this couple, if you want some headcanons or you have ideas about them, you can always send me a request. Not just about this story, don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question. Unless it’s a hate message. They are never welcome.

If you didn’t read the first or the second chapter, you definitely should before reading this one.

unconventional methods - chapter 1

unconventional methods - chapter 2

marvelous lizzie’s masterlist

Once again a big thank you to @notafunkiller and @es1dit for everything. They helped me so much. I can’t thank them enough for supporting me during this journey.

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

<<< Previous Chapter

As she promised, Agent Elvisa was waiting for Bucky at the SHIELD headquarters when he returned. Despite being tired and wounded, he was much calmer than before. Taking some time to reflect made him realize how harsh he was. He just felt betrayed and humiliated before, but after seeing what she had been working on, seeing those people suffering in the hands of HYDRA and having the privilege to help them made him understand this wasn’t about him. This whole thing was a critical mission, and they were just caught up in the mess. 

The problem was that he didn’t know how to proceed anymore, but luckily Agent Elvisa approached him at the first opportunity.

“Hey,” Her voice felt so soothing to his ears. He always thought she had a silky tone, and enjoyed it in the videos she shared, but hearing it in real life was a completely different experience. Especially when they weren’t fighting.

“Hey.”

“You are bleeding.” Her eyes were fixed on his left eyebrow. It was a simple cut, one that would heal by itself, but she looked concerned nonetheless.

“It’s fine.” His response came instantly. “I will be healed soon.”

“No.” She shook her head, rejecting his oversimplification. “It needs to be cleaned.”

“Believe me, I have had worse wounds that healed by themselves.”

His response made her grimace. “You thought that would convince me, but it made it even worse.” She gently grabbed his arm and steered him to another room. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m just gonna clean the cut, okay? I don’t wanna hear any complaints.”

It was impossible for Bucky not to smile a little. It’s been a while since someone was worried about him. The fact that someone cared about him enough to make a big deal out of a simple cut made him feel... cared for. That’s why he followed her without saying a word. Agent Elvisa made him sit down while looking for a first aid kit.

“We should talk,” she said while opening and closing some drawers.

“Is that why you insisted on cleaning the wound?” 

“Yes and no. I think it should be cleaned, but I also wanted to talk. I’ve been thinking a lot since you left.” 

“Me too, but I don’t think we should do it here.” Bucky didn’t want someone to eavesdrop. This was an extremely private thing to talk and SHIELD headquarters weren’t the place.

“Okay.” She finally looked back at him. “There’s no first aid kit here.”

Bucky looked around, making a point without saying anything. It didn’t look like this particular room would have any first aid kits.

“Fine.” She accepted the defeat. “You are right, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna give up. Wait here until I find a first aid kit.” She raised her index finger. “Do not move.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

She smiled at him before leaving the room. 

***

Bunny struggled to find the medical kit she needed, but when she finally did, she quickly made her way back. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard Natasha's voice when she got closer to the door.

“So that’s it?” She heard Natasha asking.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Natasha.”

“Just don’t hold this against her. She had no idea.”

“I’m aware of it. That’s not the problem.” Bucky sounded a bit defensive.

“Then what is the problem?”

“I just…” He stopped for a second. “I just don’t know what is real and what’s not anymore. That’s the problem.”

Hearing that last sentence just shattered her heart. She didn’t even know who he was until that video call yet he was questioning everything, every conversation they had. It made her feel like crap. Like he was no different from the men who treated her like shit just because of what she was doing. It was foolish of her to believe that he was different.

Harshly, she pushed the door all the way and stormed inside. Bucky and Natasha looked in her direction, completely blindsided by her presence. 

“Oh, hey. I was just talking to–” Natasha tried to talk, but she didn’t even glance in her direction.

“You don’t need this.” Slamming the first aid kit on the table, she looked directly at Bucky. “You don’t need me and believe me when I say, I don’t need you. I just wanted to talk and make things clear, but now I understand that’s not what you want at all. I don’t need to explain myself to you. I don’t need convince what part of me is real. If you're questioning this... this thing between us or what we shared, you can go to hell.”

Her rage caught them off guard. And before he could say anything, she stormed out of the room. Bucky and Natasha stared at each other, feeling completely lost.

“Go after her, you loon!” Finally, Natasha snapped him out of his shock and he quickly took her advice. When he finally caught up with her, she was about to hop on her motorcycle.

“Bunny!” Hearing him call her Bunny again made her stop. 

“What?” 

“What the fuck was all of that?” He looked confused and angrier than before. “You are gonna tell me to go to hell and just leave?”

“I heard your conversation, Bucky. What’s there to talk about if you think some things we shared weren’t even real.”

“I didn’t say they were not real.”

“You said you don’t know what was real and what was not.” She repeated what she remembered from their conversation.

“I’m just confused, okay? I didn’t do this for a long time. Why do you think I started to follow you to begin with? I’m socially awkward and anxious. I’m clueless and after learning about your mission, I’m confused. I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

“I waited for you to return. I tried talking to you back there and you didn’t want to. And then I come to hear that you are questioning what was real. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I didn’t say I don’t wanna talk, did I? I just didn’t want anybody else to hear what happened between us.”

His explanation made her stop for a second. “Then why didn’t you just say that?”

“I just told you. I’m awkward and anxious, okay? But I do wanna talk. I wanna understand. I’ve just come from the mission you’d been working so hard for. I saw how important it was. I understand this whole thing wasn’t about me, but you have to stop and think about how things look from my perspective when you say this was just a mission for you. I deserve some explanation. I think I deserve that much.” 

He was talking much calmer than before, trying to explain what he thinks. It made her notice how different things could be from his side. He simply had no clue. Just bits and pieces.

“Fine, let’s talk then.” She sighed deeply. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours. Mine is a mess.”

***

It didn’t take them long to arrive at her place. Bucky couldn’t help but look around carefully the moment he stepped inside. It was a small apartment with a single bedroom. The door was open, so he could actually see inside her private space and nothing seemed familiar. Which made him realize she did not do her photoshoots here. None of the content she shared was taken here. Nothing besides the photos she sent him privately. From day one, he was allowed to see her, in a vulnerable state, in her own home. If that wasn’t a sign of trust, what was?

“Do you wanna drink something?” Her question brought him back to reality. 

“I don��t think so.”

“Maybe a glass of water?” She suggested, thinking he must be exhausted from the mission.

He answered after considering the offer. “That would be good actually.” 

She quickly made her way to the kitchen, drinking a glass of water herself and then bringing him another. Bunny was sitting across from him when he finished drinking.

“So… What do you wanna know?” She asked as Bucky places the empty glass on the coffee table, getting right into the conversation.

“I just wanna know…” God, there were too many questions on his mind, but nothing was more important than this one. “Why did you start talking to me?”

“I answer almost every DM. It was a part of my mission: finding potential HYDRA hunters.” Her answer disappointed Bucky, but he just nodded quietly. “Yet I don’t keep talking to every one of them. I told you before.”

“You told me you end the conversation when it gets too far.” 

“Yes, I don’t entertain people in my DM’s. I just try to act like a normal adult content creator so they won’t suspect anything.”

“Is that what you were doing when you answered me?” Bucky wanted to know more details. He wanted to learn what changed and when.

“I was just answering a cute DM and you kept talking to me, differently compared to others. You were concerned while they were just wondering about the lack of content. I was sick, and feeling lonely. It was a huge mistake sending you a photo, but I’m lucky it didn’t jeopardize the mission. If it was someone else, it could’ve been a big problem. Not only HYDRA hunters, but there are also stalkers you know…” She noticed he was getting concerned about her safety. Then she quickly added, “Most of them are just shooting their shots, trying to see if they can score with me or if they can get some private content.”

“Right.” He sounded so uncomfortable, thinking about how hard it must be. 

“I’m good at detecting when they try to steer the conversation that way, so I do something before it’s too late. And you…” She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. “You never tried to do that. You kept talking to me like I’m a normal human being. You asked regular questions. I wondered how long it would take you to say something inappropriate, and you never did.”

“And that’s why you kept talking to me.”

“Yes. I liked talking to you. And then I found you extremely hot.” Bucky gave her a puzzled look. “When we exchanged photos.”

“Oh, right.” Extremely hot? he wondered, but didn't say it out loud.

“Talking to you was the best part of the whole operation, other than finally catching those bastards. You made my days bearable. I was looking forward to talking to you, getting to know you while trying not to get too invested because god knows how many married men use those platforms.”

“Best part of the operation?” Bucky repeated her words, his tone indicating he was having a bit of a hard time believing that was possible.

“I was lonely, Bucky. Isolated. Mistreated. After a long time, someone was talking to me like a normal human being. He was also a good-looking guy as far as I could see. I just let myself enjoy it, it shouldn’t be a crime.”

“I enjoyed it, too, you know.” He was trying to take everything in. “That’s why it hurt so much when I saw you in that meeting. I was shocked.”

“I didn’t expect to see you in that meeting. If I’d known, I would’ve talked to you during the video call. I was sure that we’d have time to speak face to face and explain that this was a mission, but you were the real part of this for me.” She was getting emotional, but she tried to hold her tears back. It was really hard to explain herself like this because she was always blamed for most of the stuff. Especially what happened to her in the past when she was captured by HYDRA. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. Just believe me, it was unintentional.”

“I wish you just explained everything to me when you saw who I was.”

“I was scared,” she admitted. “I was talking to my work crush the whole time, without knowing. I was afraid to mess it up. I thought you would get mad when you learn that the whole thing was an undercover operation and I’d lose my chance to explain everything.” She took another deep breath, trying to calm herself down. The fear of rejection was growing in her belly. A part of her was certain all the clarifications in the world wouldn’t be enough to make him stay. 

“Bunny...” She tried hard to hide her tears, but it was in vain. It was no surprise that Bucky noticed them right away. A second later, he moved right next to her, closing the distance between them. “Are you crying?”

“No.” Even though it was obvious, she tried to deny it at first. “I’m fine.”

Bucky gently touched her face, afraid to startle her, then carefully wiped a tear away with his thumb. 

“Please, don’t cry.” His hand remained on her face, and she leaned into his touch immediately. “Especially not because of me.”

“It’s just...” Bunny sniffed. “I know I ruined everything. No excuse will be good enough to fix things.”

“What are you talking about?” He was still gently caressing her cheek.

“I know that… you won’t forgive me, Bucky.”

Her words were clear enough, but it was the way she said those words that broke Bucky. Her pained voice and watery eyes… The realization finally hit him. She was really afraid of losing him. She actually thought they wouldn't be able to put this behind them. She assumed he would just decide to move on with his life after clearing things up. That was the exact same thing he was worried about all this time. He thought Bunny didn’t need him, that she could just continue her life without him.

He had no idea how long it had been since he felt someone actually cared about him this much and wanted him to stay after everything that happened. The feeling of being wanted by her was strange but so very welcome.

“You didn’t.” He slowly closed the distance between them, and his lips lightly brushed against hers. For a second, she had a bit of a hard time registering what’s just happened, but when she finally did, she started to kiss him back. He moved his lips as if he was afraid to break her, but in reality, he was afraid of his own reaction. It had been so long since someone touched him or kissed him. Her lips moving against his own made him whimper. He had no idea what to do with his hands, while Bunny angled her head a little and deepened the kiss. Her lips started to move more hungrily, letting out low moans as she kept on tasting him.

Bucky closed his eyes and let himself go. He was so lost in this, he didn’t realize Bunny was moving until he felt her weight on top of him. He opened his eyes just to see her wrapping her arms around his neck as she was tightening her legs around his torso. His head fell back, his mouth gaping as he let out a deep moan. Feeling her whole body pressed against him was simply too much. 

“Touch me, Bucky.”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but it was the hardest thing he’s ever done so far. Looking into her eyes, he tried to get used to their proximity and her softness. His hand slowly moved back on her face, fingers gently grazing her skin as he tried to convince himself this wasn’t a dream. Bunny closed the distance between them and started to kiss him more hungrily than before. Lips moving fast, tongues and teeth cluttering... Bucky’s hands moved down to her neck, then to her collarbones, and kept on moving until he settled them on her waist. His mouth moved to her neck, slowly nibbling to see her reaction. Bunny’s loud moan was enough to make him start tp suck on her skin.

“God, please…” She sounded so desperate. “Please touch me.”

Bucky tightened his grip on her waist, reminding her that he was actually touching her, but that wasn’t enough. Impatiently, she grabbed both of his hands and pushed them against her breasts. All he could do was just blinking a couple of times before squeezing them a little bit harsher than he intended. He was so afraid of how rusty he would be at this, but Bunny let out a satisfied moan, proving him wrong. That was all he needed. His warm hands left her breasts, just to slip them under her top, making her gasp. Her skin was soft and welcoming as he moved them up to her breasts again. 

“Can I?” He lingered on her bra, wanting it off. She nodded eagerly.

It took him several tries to finally unclasp it, but Bunny didn’t offer her help, just waiting for him to get rid of it. As soon as it was unhooked, she removed her top and bra simultaneously, revealing her bare breasts. He looked mesmerized by her like he didn’t see her naked before, and it made her smile.

“Remember when you were talking about my nipples?”

“Yeah?” Bucky’s eyes didn’t leave her breasts, not for a second.

“You can do all of that now.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He cupped both of her breasts, perking them up. One hand was colder than the other, but she didn’t care one bit. If nothing, that was proof the man in front of her was Bucky Barnes in flesh and blood and not a wet dream. He leaned in and started to leave soft kisses at first, then his lips wrapped around one of her nipples, and his tongue swirled around. He took his sweet time as if he was tasting the most delicious dessert on earth. He used his free hand to massage her other breast as he kept licking her nipple. Unable to control her reaction, her back arched. 

“Oh fuck!” Everything he was doing with his tongue was sending waves of pleasure through her body. She could feel the wetness starting to pool between her legs. She was more ready for the next step. His rock-hard erection poking at her core made it even harder to stay in control. She started to move her hips, trying to get a little friction, and that finally made him break away from her nipple. The loud wet sound caused her to bite her lower lip, his hands quickly wrapping around her body before he unexpectedly stood up.

“What are you doing?” She sounded so surprised, and Bucky chuckled in response. Her legs tightened around his torso while he started to walk towards her bedroom.

“Taking you to bed.” As soon as he was done speaking, he dived back into her neck, kissing her lightly while walking.

In a few seconds, Bucky layed her gently on the edge of the bed, and she quickly raised herself up on her elbows to watch him grabbing her pants and underwear without losing any time and tugging them down. He looked at her with utter hunger while trying to convince himself this was really happening. Slowly he kneeled, gently placing his hands on her tights, and looked up at her.

“Can I taste you?” How he asked this question felt like he was asking for a glass of water after a long day.

“We can do that later, come here.” She wanted to feel his skin against hers, already missing his warmth.

“I promise I will do whatever you want, just please, let me taste you first.” The desperation in his voice was making it hard to say no, so she nodded. For a second, he looked like a kid on Christmas morning, giving her the biggest smile.

Bucky’s hands slowly moved on her legs, trying to feel every inch of her. The motion was also helping him to ground himself. Slowly he leaned in, but instead of doing what she was hoping for, his lips landed on her thighs, leaving a wet trail of kisses. As time passed, the wetness started to drip from her center, making it even more evident. Not only could he see it, but he could also smell how intoxicating it was.

Finally, when he was satisfied with his work, his tongue lightly brushed directly against her clit. They both moaned at the same time for different reasons. While she was electrified by the feeling of his tongue, he was getting lost in her taste. It was so good, he couldn’t help but lick a couple more times in a row like he was starving.

“Fuck, yes!” She whined as the pleasure started to spread. “Oh god, yes!” 

Bucky was busy licking her from bottom to top, and every time his tongue brushed against her clit, Bunny was making the most delicious sounds. Unexpectedly, he pushed both of his hands under her ass and pulled her close to his mouth.

“Bucky!” Her yelp amused him, but he didn’t stop. By focusing on her clit, he was able to deepen his licks and elevate the pleasure by flattening his tongue against her clit fast. This new sensation made her legs buckle, and she grabbed his hair way more harshly than she anticipated.

“F-fuck, Bucky. Keep going, p-please.” He had no intention to do otherwise. As his tongue continued to work, Bunny kept on begging. “I-I’m close. Please, don’t s-stop!” 

When she finally reached the climax, her entire body was burning with pleasure. She was mindlessly moaning and gripping his hair as he continued to work through her orgasm. After a while, her hands let go of his hair, and that’s when he started to slow down.

“Are you okay?” His chin was resting on her lower tummy.

She took a deep breath before answering. “I’m more than okay.”

Before moving his head back between her legs, Bucky chuckled. Her eyes instinctively lowered when she felt the shift just to see him pushing his middle finger inside her without any warning. She jerked back while gasping for air.

“Bucky!”

“What?” He asked with a smirk. Before she could even open her mouth to respond, he started to move his fingers, and whatever she was going to say did not matter anymore. Soon, his finger was already soaked with her arousal, so he didn’t wait long to add the second finger.

“Shit, Bucky, this feels so good.” She moved her hips up to increase the friction as she spoke.

“Stay put, doll.” His metal hand settled on her tummy, pushing her down as gently as possible. “Just let me…” He thrusted his fingers harder than before, pressing against the upper walls.

“Oh my fucking god…” She cried out while he felt how she started to squeeze his fingers. She was getting closer, but he wanted this orgasm to be much better than the previous one. After licking his lips at the thought of tasting her again, he leaned in to give her another lick. Suddenly, Bunny’s hand was back in his hair, gripping harder than before.

“Yes, yes, yes. Bucky, yes!” He wanted to smile so badly, but he had something more important to do. As he continued to lick her, he added a third finger, hoping this would push her over the edge. The way she moaned was the most sinful thing he ever heard, and he was already dying to hear it again. He kept moving his fingers quicker and felt her grip tightening in his hair.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, Bucky… Please, don’t stop!”

He wanted to say he won’t, not until she comes again, but he couldn’t. He knew better not to change anything when she was begging for more. Bunny's second orgasm ripped her apart as he kept moving his fingers in and out relentlessly. She kept repeating his name like prayer until the pleasure turned into overstimulation.

“Oh my god,” She spoke after taking another deep breath. She felt like she was floating as her recent orgasm still made her lightly jerk a little. When Bucky finally removed his fingers, she trembled one more time.

“How are you feeling?” She felt Bucky moving onto the bed..

“Great.” She had a huge smile on her face, which made his heart swell with pride.

Bunny jumped on top of him as soon as he lay next to her. Although he was surprised by the sudden change, he moved his hands to her hips and began to caress her.

“I think it’s time to get you undressed, Sergeant Barnes.”

For the first time, she saw how her words affected him up close as his gaze changed into something darker. She kept on looking in his blue eyes while she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the lips before bringing her mouth right under his ear.

“Will you take your clothes off for me, Sarge?” The way she was talking sent shivers down his spine.

“As you wish.”

Bucky rolled her over so suddenly, she couldn’t even understand what was happening until her back touched the mattress. He quickly stood up and started to undress under her glare. Her eyes focused on his upper body until it was time to take his boxers off. His erection sprung out, and she could already feel her mouth watering at the sight.

“Is this better?” He raised both of her hands with a smile on his face.

“Much better. Now come here.” She gently patted the empty space right next to her, and he silently obeyed. As soon as he sat down, Bunny was all over him. She gently pushed him down. Her hands slowly moved down to his body, enjoying how his skin felt against hers. Firm and warm. She drew circles with her hands, caressing the same places over and over again until Bucky couldn’t help but moan at the sensation. 

“You like that, baby?” The way she was speaking, that fucking tone… God, he was melting inside. 

“Yes.” He breathed out. “So much.”

“Want me to touch you more?”

He nodded so eagerly, Bunny couldn’t just look at his beautiful face. She leaned down to give him a kiss. His hands quickly wrapped around her body, pulling her closer. It was messy and wet until Bunny moved her lips to his cheeks. He huffed with disappointment, but she didn’t stop. She covered his face with kisses. He felt her soft lips on his cheeks, eyelids, and jaw until she decided to move to his neck.

“I need more,” Bucky whimpered as she kept kissing.

“Tell me what you need.” Her hands were moving on his chest, fueling his hunger.

“More. More of everything.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but it had been such a long time since he was touched like this. He was craving for more, it didn’t matter what. “Just… touch me.”

Her fingers grazed over his nipples, making their way down as she opened up a bit more. 

“What if I…” She gently wrapped her hands around his cock. “did this?”

“Ohgodyes.” 

Bunny slowly moved her hand with a smile on her face. “What about this?”

He choked on his words, just letting out an unintelligible sound.

“You like that, don’t you?” He managed to nod as she kept moving her hand up and down. Before he could even realize it, she moved all the way back. When she removed her hand from his hard cock, he wanted to protest, but the moment he looked down, the sight of Bunny between his legs welcomed him.

She didn’t say a word, just looked into his eyes before lowering herself and taking the tip of his cock into her mouth.

“Oh, fuck!” His head fell back onto the mattress. 

Her tongue swirled around the tip, grazing over the sensitive spot. Her wet mouth and her hot tongue were driving him crazy already. He could feel the pleasure bottling up. 

“Bunny…” He hardly managed to say it out loud. She didn’t stop, just looked up to see his pretty face. “Baby, you gotta stop, please.” The words came out as if he was in agony. She had no choice but to release his cock.

“Am I hurting you?” Her wrinkled brows were enough for him to understand how truly concerned she was. 

“No, no, no. God, no.” He quickly tried to explain. “I just… don’t wanna come inside your mouth. Not this time. It has been a long time. Very long. I just wanna feel you come around my cock as I come. Is that okay?”

The relief on her face turned into a smile. “It’s more than okay.”

“I don’t have a condom with me though.” 

“I’m clean and on pills.” He knew what that meant and the question she wasn’t vocalizing.

“I’m clean, too, according to the regular SHIELD check-ups.”

“Great.” She bit her bottom lips as she moved closer to him. “So what now?”

Once again, Bucky wrapped his hands around her and rolled her over. 

“This is turning into a habit, Sarge.”

“You have any complaints?” His playful tone put another smile on her face.

“Nope, not yet.”

“Not yet? Hmm…” He didn’t say anything else, just grabbed his cock and looked back at her to see if she changed her mind, but instead, she was staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

Bucky rubbed the head of his cock between her folds and her slick arousal started to cover it. After a couple more rubs, he finally pushed himself inside. It took only one swift thrust and he was all in.

“Fuck, baby.” He gasped at the sensation as his head fell down on her shoulder. It was so overwhelming to feel surrounded by her wetness and warmth. So intense. “You feel so good, my god.”

When he pulled back to look at her, Bunny’s hand went to his face. She pushed a strand of hair that fell on his forehead.

“Are you okay?” The question came after standing still for a while.

“I’m good, don’t worry about me.” Bunny’s dismissive answer didn’t sit right with him.

“You are my main concern, all the time, okay? Tell me how does this feel?” His voice was so soft and caring, she didn’t even realize she was tearing up. “Please, tell me I’m not hurting you.”

“You are not.” She quickly wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. “Nobody ever asked me that. That’s all.”

Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Her bittersweet smile made him want to kill every single man who recklessly hurt her.

“Just tell me to stop if you don’t want something, okay, doll? That’s all I am asking from you.”

“I will try.” She gulped down. “It’s gonna be hard, but I will try.”

“Maybe we should stop.” He didn’t wanna push her to do something she wasn’t comfortable.

“No, no. It’s my problem. Sometimes… I have a hard time vocalizing what I want or don’t want.”

“Do you want this?” Bunny eagerly nodded. “I need you to use your words.”

“I want this, Bucky. Please move.”

He slowly and carefully started to move. “How is this pace?”

“It’s good. Very good.” Her words made it clear that she was enjoying it, but the way she said them… moved something inside him. It was full of need.

He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and starting to kiss her as he kept moving. Quickly, it became really messy. Lips crashing, tongues dancing, hands moving all over… In the blinking of an eye, she was on top of him, desperately moving her hips against him. It didn’t take her long to shutter. Watching her orgasm so up close was something else. The blissful expression on her face, her open mouth, and the way she was moaning mindlessly stunned him. 

“God, you are so beautiful.” His thumb moved from her cheek to her bottom lip. He closed the distance and gave her a hungry kiss. His tongue brushed against hers, making her moan again. “I don’t think I can hold back more.”

“I don’t remember asking you to hold back.”

Bucky tilted his head while pursing his lips. “True, but you didn’t have to.”

Bunny started to rock her hips again as she talked. “Please, stop holding back. Stop being so careful. I’m not made of glass.”

“I know that.” The way she was moving made it hard for him to speak. “God, tell me, what position do you want next?”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she moved away from him and lay down on her back on the edge of the bed. Bucky silently followed her, and in a second, he was back inside her as she pulled her knees back to her chest.

“Does this feel good?” 

“Yes.” She seemed pretty content. “Just put some pressure on my legs.” As soon as he did that and started to move, they both felt the difference. It felt like she was much tighter than before and he was touching all the right places.

“Oh, fuck.” Bucky growled. It was much harder to hold back.

“Faster, Bucky, please.” She pleaded, already feeling drunk on pleasure. As he fulfilled her request, her moans became erratic. “Yes, yes, yes!”

“God, I’m so deep inside you.” 

“It feels so good. Please… Please, baby, faster.” Her words encouraged him to finally take what he wanted. He started to pound into her. Long yet fast thrusts started to consume her. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Bucky, Bucky…” She gripped the sheets, trying to keep her eyes open.

“God, look at you.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her. “My pretty girl, look at yourself. Taking me so deep.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck Bucky!” She took a deep breath. “You are gonna make me come again!”

His response was a loud groan, finally feeling free to come himself. 

“Yes, let yourself go, yes.” He keeps talking between thrusts.

Bunny’s eyes roll back with pleasure, her legs trembling while she lets out a cry. He keeps fucking her through her orgasm, thrusting harder than before and allowing himself to follow her. Bucky let out the most broken cry she’s ever heard coming from his mouth as he started to come, but he didn’t stop. He kept on thrusting, ignoring the feeling of overstimulation until she was done coming.

He pulled himself out with a hiss, and neither of them said a word as they lay together. They feared they'd spoil such a blissful moment, knowing there was other stuff they needed to discuss. Bunny began to feel cold as their breathing returned to normal, so with a quick movement, she got under the duvet, keeping it open while looking directly at Bucky. She was silently offering to cover him as well, and he didn’t wait to comply. When he finally settled in, they were facing each other.

“Can we stay like this? Just for a while?”

“Of course, we can.” Bucky wanted nothing more than to just stay in the bed with he, in their own bubble. And they did for a couple of minutes, but little by little, reality slowly filtered back into their minds as the fog of their orgasms got lifted.

“Just so you know, just because we had sex, it doesn’t mean everything is perfect now. We have a lot to talk about that we haven't figured out, but I still want you to stay.”

“Believe me, I know, but we can figure it out together.” A smile spread across her face. That was all she wanted to hear. 

“Sounds like a good plan.” Bucky moved his hand over her exposed arm. It was a thoughtless movement, but his touch helped her relax. After a couple more strokes, Bucky felt some kind of patterned bump on her skin, and as he explored it, he instantly recognized it.

“Is that…” His question remained unfinished because he already knew the answer.

“A property tattoo.”

“Property of HYDRA?” The words came out like he couldn’t believe it.

Bunny squirmed uncomfortably. It was never an easy topic for her, but there was no way out of this conversation. Maybe it would be better to talk about it now. Like pulling a band-aid off.

“Do you remember when I said maybe I can tell you how I can be so sure about you one day?” Bucky nodded, remembering what she said when she first saw his face. “I guess that day is today.”

“I think I already know what you are about to say.” It was clear. Bunny was the property of HYDRA for god knows how long and somehow she managed to get out of it. “Look, we don’t have to talk about it now if it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know that, but I want to explain anyway.” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “And it’s never easy to talk about this. So…” Her voice was trembling as she was talking.

“I’m ready to listen, whenever you want.”

Bunny took a deep breath, trying to brace herself. “I was captured by HYDRA when I was young.” The sentence came out as a whole like she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to finish it if she didn’t hurry up. “I was forced to be a part of their human trafficking network… satisfy clients to bring more money or please the higher-ups so I can stay alive. It went on like this for years until one day… I was in the right place at the right time.” She rubbed her face, trying to focus on her words instead of the lump in her throat so she could continue. “That day, SHIELD was attempting to capture some higher-ups and… I happened to be there just because someone requested my presence. Can you believe that? That was all. I was lucky enough to get saved by Nick Fury.”

“And you wanted to help the ones who weren’t lucky enough.” Bucky finally started to put the puzzle pieces together. He couldn’t believe she also suffered at the hands of HYDRA, already feeling guilty that he couldn’t be the one to help her.

“Yes. Director Fury helped me. He even gave me my name, Elvisa. Do you know what it means?” Bucky shook his head. “It means safe.”

“Because you were finally safe.” Bucky felt the weight of the word as he was speaking. This time, Bunny shook her head in agreement. That name meant a lot to her. 

“I am so sorry, doll. So sorry I didn’t notice why this case was so important to you. Why you said you can’t always express what you want during sex.” He felt like shit because finally, her harsh reaction at the SHIELD headquarters was making sense. He wondered how many people in her life thought she was just faking stuff.

“How could you even know, Bucky? You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.” Her eyes were watery, but she did not cry. All this time, whenever she talked about this, tears would fall down, and she had no intention to let that happen again. She wanted to stay strong. She wanted to prove to herself that she was healing.

“I wish I could-” Bunny already knew what he was about to say and she didn’t let him finish.

“No, there was nothing you could do to save me earlier. Even if our paths crossed, you were a captive yourself, remember?” Focusing on Bucky was helping her to surpass all the emotions she was feeling. 

“Sometimes I think I just could’ve done more… Maybe I could’ve save myself and others… Others like you.” He sounded so broken, and Bunny couldn’t take it. She grabbed his face and forced him to look into her eyes.

“Stop torturing yourself with maybes and what-ifs.” Her voice came out harsher than she intended, so she tried to soften it as she went on. “What’s done is done. We can’t change the past, but we can shape our future.” Bucky nodded, still looking emotional. He knew that, but he couldn’t help but think about how different thing would have been if he could have just broken free. If he’d been strong enough… Bunny noticed he was getting lost in his thoughts and tried to get his attention. “Just focus on the present and the future, okay? 

“It’s not that easy.” Bucky finally found his words to answer her. 

“Believe me, I know, but we have to try. Just stop for a second and think about what you want your future to be like. Try to imagine how different things can be.” Bucky didn’t know how to keep his focus on the future. He’d been living day by day for so long, not daring to think about what the future might bring because a part of him was afraid that the moment he started to think about it, the moment he let himself hope for a future, everything would go down in flames. 

“I- I don’t know.” He sounded completely lost. 

“Just one thing. Tell me one thing you want in your future. That’s enough for now.” She tried to simplify it as much as possible. “That should be enough to keep your focus on the future.”

After thinking for a second, Bucky finally came up with a response. 

“I want to have you in my future.” He wasn’t sure if he was crossing a line or not, but he didn’t feel like keeping that thought to himself. “Is that okay?”

A warm smile spread across her face. “I think we might be able to arrange that.” 

***

In the middle of a boring day at work, Bucky found himself at a co-worker's birthday party after doing a lot of boring paperwork. He would rather be at home, cuddling his favorite girl, but they compromised on stopping by the party first and then cuddling at home. Normally, nobody could persuade him to socialize like this, especially since he had much better options, but Bunny was another story.

Not only that, but this time Bucky actually knew whose birthday it was, and instead of hiding in the corner, he was chilling on the big couch, with his arms around Bunny’s upper body. She was restin her head on his shoulder while talking to another agent. Although he didn't know her name, he saw her talking to Bunny numerous times. His assumption was that they were in friendly terms with each other.

Since their conversation was about a minor work misunderstanding, he didn't pay too much attention. Besides, his focus was slowly drifting toward Bunny's warmth more and more, just thinking about all the things he could be doing if they were at home. They both agreed on keeping a civil level of PDA at events like this, meaning there would be no doubt that they were a couple, but nothing inappropriate.

Bucky wasn't sure when their relationship had become public knowledge in SHIELD, but they were able to express affection for each other gradually. It wasn’t like they were ever trying to completely hide their closeness. They just tried to keep it as lowkey as possible. But it was a hard task since Bucky grabbed her arm after that meeting. People were nosy and wanted to know what happened between them, but somehow Bunny managed to dodge their questions. Bucky’s experience was much different than hers. Except for Natasha and Sam, he couldn't recall any particular moment when he was asked about his relationship with Bunny. Not that he would ever call her Bunny around co-workers. That was a private nickname. She was Agent Elvisa and he was Sergeant Barnes whenever they were at work.

I guess they put two and two together, he thought, not knowing that most of the people were actually afraid to ask him a personal question like this. 

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky's attention was caught by her wary tone.

“Of course.” Bunny raised her head, but didn't move away from his touch. His arms were still around her body.

“I don’t think you’ve ever told the story about how you two actually met.” God, she must be really curious since she is asking this nervous as fuck, Bucky thought.

They both knew it was only a matter of time before people started to ask about their relationship and how it all started openly. Everybody knew they had two different divisions. It wasn’t likely for them to work together for an extended period of time or see each other regularly. That was why they came up with an acceptable version of their story. Not a lie, but not the complete truth, either. Just something that gets people off their backs.

“Oh, that was Natasha’s doing.” 

“Really? I didn’t think Natasha Romanoff would be a cupid.” She was genuinely surprised.

“Oh, you have no idea how nosy Romanoff can be.” Bucky couldn’t help but comment for the first time. As he spoke, the girl's eyes moved towards him in surprise.

“She is only nosy when it comes to her friends, and I guess she just had a feeling about us.” Bunny quickly explained in a cute tone.

Her words made Bucky look into her eyes. They didn’t know if it was just a feeling or if she was just simply bored, but they were grateful nonetheless.

taglist (I tried to tag everyone who showed interest in chapter two. If you would rather not be included please let me know.)

@geminiflanagansblog @sadg1rlsei @lia-winther @nanikio @barnesboo1967 @chinaza444 @kaitlin013106 @ryanmxrie @steverogers-wife @weaselbeedisneygeek @tilltheendofthelinepal9950 @happyxdayxbitch @marvelogic @wintasssoldier @buckybarnessimpp @marvelsbitchh @alright-i-guesss @almosttoopizza @rabbitrabbit12321 @cookielovesbook-akie @whalien52bbgrl @cjand10 @scifinerd1818  @dellalyra @capswife @netherqueen23 @beware-my-thorns @freegardenbanananeck @iamstevessmile @raven1234321 @divadinag @noisesinthedark @amanda-says @ozwriterchick @sleyeveryday @arsonfrogger @lfaewrites @alana4610 @splendidreads @acatwriteshere @weirdothatwritess @spider-boyy @shelbygeek @doublevirgogirl @tarotwitchy-main @r02eg0ld @raelorns21 @amberpanda99

[getyourdirtyhandsoffme]

STARS AND RAINDROPS

Seungmin x Gnreader (POC FREE)

Genre: light angst with a happy ending (something like that). Hurt and comfort.

Summary: Having an idol boyfriend has been so difficult that you two wouldn't have time to be together, even in his free time he always busy. You started to overthink; overthinking the fact he doesn't have time for you at all and using his "free day" times as an excuse to not be with you anymore. Almost like he doesn't have time for you. You made you feel lonely.

Warning: slight (?) Arguments, Stress out Seungmin, Overthinking Reader, Anxiety, Misunderstanding (?), cursing, they need to hang out more until things turn bad!! Didn't really proof read so grammar and spelling might be ass along with my memory.

Please reblog, like and/or comment if you can! I love the support! Thank you!

It was lonely. Very lonely.

You sat down on the grey couch staring at the clock that was above the television. You and Seungmin live together in a shared apartment making it easier to see each other more...well that's what both of you thought until you haven't seen him for months.

Of course, you know he is a busy man and being a kpop idol would lead him to be absent at home almost everyday, you knew this when he confessed to you, you knew the consequences of dating a kpop idol.

But things felt different, you've been missing his presence, his warmth, everything about it.

The bed felt empty without him.

He used to come home when he is free and of course you two would usually make calls then and there when he is on break but nothing rang your phone besides maybe family members or friends. Even spam calls called you more than Seungmin.

You two felt distant, well you felt distant, you didn't know what Seungmin was feeling.

A month for not being home and you wish everyday that some miracle he does come home with a big small and hugs yet nothing happened.

You even know his schedule since you both have a shared calendar together, you check every time. You know his breaks yet he isn't here or calling you. You knew his free times where he can rest until the next come back but he isn't here or calling you.

You felt almost desperate to the point you watch videos of him. You miss his voice to the point you cried yourself to sleep as the TV plays Seungmin's voice helping you relax.

It felt almost embarrassing, yet you couldn't help it. It's normal to miss your lover, right?

But...does he miss you like you do?

You thought about it plenty of times but you try not to because you hate to let that overthinking stress you out yet you couldn't help it. Why else he wouldn't show up in his free days or even call you.

You two do a test but it felt dry. It's always a simple "Hello" but not "I love you" or "I miss you."

You miss him so much.

You are lonely.

You continued on staying up, there was no point in sleeping. Even PuppyM couldn't help you sleep like you used to; it wasn't the same.

The clock struck 3, he still wasn't here.

You wonder if he has been sleeping somewhere else. Back to the dorms? Sleeping in someone else's house? Is he cheating on you?

You shook your head, forcing yourself to stop overthinking again and stopping yourself from going to sleep.

That's when you finally heard it, the rattle of the shared apartment opening.

You quickly look in the direction of where the door was to meet with a tired Seungmin wearing a black hoodie and a mask, he lazily took off his shoes replacing it with the slippers and even throwing his keys into the bowl.

You couldn't help but smile as you quickly got up and went up to him to give you a hug but he didn't hug you back.

He muttered a few words, almost like he was annoyed as he nudged you to get off of him. Not wanting to deal with the affection at this time or day.

You let go, feeling sad but still happy that he was back.

"Hey, love, I miss you. How was your busy day?" You softly question but he responded was a groan with a bunch of gibberish as he walks to the couch, sitting himself down as he placed his hands to cover his face.

"You must be very tired, luckily you have a break day tomorrow so we can hang out more an-"

"Can you please shut the fuck up."

You stood there confused as you quickly shut your mouth. Ignore the pain in your chest from his harsh tone.

"God, you are so annoying, can't you see i'm tired. I don't have any energy to talk or even deal with affection. Jeez..." He scratches his head, messing his hair around as he glares at you.

"I-i'm sorry? I just haven't seen you for months, you haven't been coming here in your free days and haven't been calling me around your break days at least once. Of course I'll act like this..."

You fiddle your fingers around, not knowing what to do.

"Get used to it then. Not everyone is free, even on my break or free days I'm not free. Can't you understand? I don't have time for this or you!" His voice is getting louder, clearly pissed off.

His words repeat in your head as you feel yourself shaking a bit.

"Seungmin, you don't mean that right? Don't have time for me? You did though. Even your members seem to have time for me to text me around their breaks but you're the only one who isn't....it doesn't make sense..."

You softly said, as you rub your arm to calm yourself.

Seungmin gets irritated as he gets up from the couch, muttering more of how he doesn't have time for this nonsense.

"You are so damn clingy, just because my members are free doesn't equal everyone. Fuck, shut up! I just knew being in a relationship is a bad idea, I don't need this!"

He shouts, not processing the words he saying until he quickly becomes quiet.

You stood there as you finally broke down crying.

"So you regret being in a relationship, I just miss you! I'm even worried as well...don't you miss me as well? Do you think of me like how I think of you?"

Seungmin doesn't respond as he just walks away to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

You couldn't believe it.

Maybe you were right.

You quickly change your slippers to your shoes and grab your keys as you walk out of the shared bedroom not wanting to deal with him, you need a break just how he needs a break to be with you.

Yet, he couldn't commit to that.

You have been ignoring his calls and text.

Every time you unlock your phone, you always see a new message from him.

Few messages talking about where you were, how he misses you and how sorry he was but you don't know if he actually meant it.

You were too clingy for him.

Like you were bothering him.

You power off your phone as you stay at your friend's house, an old college friend. You didn't tell them what happened, all they know is that you need to stay with them just for a few weeks or more depending how difficult the situation will be.

It was nice for a while but you still felt lonely.

You were too stubborn to go back and talk to him.

Your mind kept racing with thoughts that he could move on to find someone better, someone who can tolerate and commit to him and maybe commit to that person. Well, if he finds time for that.

You were hungry and wanted to make a meal but the ingredients you needed wasn't there so you went out to go grocery shopping.

It felt windy but nice outside. It was a bit dark but you can handle yourself.

You walk to the closest grocery store, grabbing your cart and going around, looking for the stuff you needed.

You look around until you find the item you were looking for, as you were about to grab it, someone else touched your hand making you back away.

"Oh, sorry, you can grab it if you like..." You said as you look up to see Seungmin who was staring back at you in shock.

You both dared not to say anything.

You felt relief in your buddy, almost wanting to hug him but stopped yourself as you grabbed what you needed and speed walked out. Not looking behind you.

You maybe should've checked the weather.

You were outside of the grocery store, holding one bag as you felt the hard raindrops hitting your clothes.

You sighed.

As you were about to walk back to your friend's house, an umbrella was placed on top of you. You looked up to see who it was. It was Seungmin.

Seungmin looked away awkwardly.

"I know you hate getting sick..." He mutters.

You just stared at him as he finally looks back at you.

"Um, can we talk?"

You sighed then nodded as you both walked to the park, it was silent other than crickets making small annoying noises.

"I know you are mad at me, you probably still are but can you please come back home. I miss you so much and I regret everything I said. I was just stressed out with work! Of course I think about you a lot, I miss you hugs, your kisses, your laughter. I was just so worked up in this comeback I just can't seem to go home. I shouldn't have lashed my anger at you. I know I fucked up real bad but please..."

You watch Seungmin tear up, as he keeps on apologizing.

"Seungmin, you said that you didn't have time for me, you regret being in a relationship and how clingy I am. You literally hurt me."

He nods, agreeing with everything you said.

"Yes, I know but trust me, I was just stressed but I promise you I'll commit into our relationship more. Please, just don't break up with me. I can't lose you." Seungmin cries out to you.

You think, hesitate on what to do.

You hated being lonely.

You miss him.

You love him.

You and him.

Yet you were scared that it would happen again and again. You were scared that he wouldn't commit to it like he said right now.

"Please, I'm sorry..."

You sighed, smiling a bit as you slowly hugged him. Seungmin quickly hugs you back. Latching inti your waist.

"Seungmin, you have to be true to your words. I'm scared that it will happen again..."

You felt Seungmin shaking his head.

"Believe me, if I ever become stressed again, I promise I wouldn't shout at you. Let's hang out, let's make out, let's hold hands or whatever. I love you."

You chuckled a bit as you felt yourself crying as well as you look at the sky, watching the bright stars as more rain pour down into both of you.

"You better. Now take me home, I'm hungry."

Seungmin smiles at you as you both walk away, leaving your friend confused on why you haven't come back yet.

Besides that, you're not lonely anymore.

Hope you all enjoyed it, this was very long I'm not gonna lie. Anyways, Cya!

[amakumos]

CUPID’S CONFLICT — eight ; i see what’s happening

as the man behind cupid's corner, jungwon is responsible for getting majority of the couples at decelis together (namely, riki and his girlfriend.) but there's one person that always gets in the way of half of the couples that jungwon sets up together — you. you are the polar opposite of yang jungwon, affectionately called "evil cupid" by your friends, as you have the unfortunate ability to break any couple up within a couple of weeks just by taking a picture with them. it's not intentional, you tell jungwon. what's also not intentional, is when jungwon finds himself crushing on you.

“Have fun on your date,” Rei says to you, watching as you shove your books into a tote bag. “I’m going to work on a project.”

“Project, date, same thing. Take lots of cute pictures of Maeumi for me. ” Wonyoung says, and you roll your eyes. “We're actually going to be working. It's not a date.”

“Don’t get distracted, by his… face?” Wonyoung replies, and you give her a weird look. “What? You guys would be cute together.”

Yes, he’s good looking, and basically your exact type, but you don’t really know Jungwon well. Plus, you’re pretty sure he isn’t really fond of you.

You take the train to Jungwon's, and it's not too far away from Decelis. You don't know why he doesn't choose to stay at home instead of the dorms since he doesn't live too far. When you stand in front of the lift, waiting for those elevator doors to open, you suddenly find yourself feeling a little nervous.

You press the button to the 9th floor, watching as the doors close. It's just a project. You're not nervous. The doors open, and you step out of the lift. Jungwon says he lives in apartment 9B, and as you approach the door, you hear the sound of a dog barking.

You assume that's Maeumi.

Jungwon opens the door, wearing a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants. "Hey," he says, opening the door wider to let you in. You take your shoes off, leaving them near the entrance. "Maeumi gets really excited when he meets new people." Jungwon adds as he watches Maeumi jumping up on your leg to greet you.

"Ah," you say, smiling. "That's very cute."

"Come in," he says, and you walk into his apartment, Maeumi trailing behind you. It's very clean, and Jungwon's placed his laptops and books on his dining table. "You can just put your bag on that chair," he says, sitting down at the table.

You slide into the seat next to him, taking your own laptop out. "So... where are your parents?"

"They're working. They're a bit busy this week, so I've kinda got a lot of time for myself."

"Oh, I see." you say. It's a little awkward, with it just being you and Jungwon. In his apartment.

"So... should we start working on this?" he asks, and you nod. He opens his laptop, creating a new slideshow and sharing it with you. "We've just got to create a presentation about this poem... and analyse it. Then share it with the class. Super simple,"

"I think we can finish it in 20 minutes. I mean, we did do a lot of preparation in class - we kinda just have to type everything out now."

You find that you work well with Jungwon. He's easy to share your ideas with, and even when you find that you can't exactly find the right words to use to get your points across, he understands what you mean. The nervousness you felt before fades away, and you start to think that you were just overthinking everything, especially when it came to you thinking that Jungwon hated you.

The project's finished in less than 20 minutes, much to your surprise. "Do you wanna grab lunch?" Jungwon asks you, and you shrug. "Sure. Are we going to go outside?"

Jungwon walks towards the window, pushing the curtain aside. "Ah, it's raining. I'll just order takeout. Are you okay with fried chicken?"

You nod. "I'm not a picky eater. Order whatever you like."

You get up from your chair, making your way over to Maeumi. You sit down on the floor, away from the carpet (because you've seen Jungwon's tweets about Maeumi shitting on the carpet), and the dog comes up to you, and you give him a head pat.

You play with Maeumi for a bit, picking him up and settling him in your lap while Jungwon orders the food. "He likes you," Jungwon says, placing his phone on the table.

"Does he?" you ask, ruffling Maeumi's fur.

"Yeah, he does. Give me a second, I'm just going to get Maeumi some treats." he says, before disappearing into the kitchen. He returns with a container of dog treats, and he sits down beside you.

Jungwon takes one of the treats out, feeding it to Maeumi. "He's so cute." you say, and Jungwon smiles.

Jungwon's opinion of you has changed very quickly over the past few days. He supposes that it was a shitty thing to do, to hate you over the fact that you had broken up a lot of couples at the school unintentionally. He guesses that he takes his role as Cupid a little too seriously.

You're very nice. So nice to the point that Jungwon feels terrible for being mean to you on his private Twitter account.

Suddenly, Jungwon hears the door unlock. He furrows his eyebrows - his parents aren't supposed to be at home until 9pm. It's only 3pm, and he doesn't think he's expecting anyone to swing by.

The voice of Kim Sunoo rings out, and the boy stops in his tracks when he sees that you're in Jungwon's house. "Jungwon, Riki wanted to know if you're free- oh! I see what's happening."

"Hi, (Name)." Sunoo says, a smirk on his lips. "Hi, Sunoo. Nice to see you," you reply, still giving Maeumi head pats.

"What are you doing here?" Jungwon asks. "Riki sent me to see if you were free, since I know the password to unlock your door. But, I'll just tell him that you're not available." Sunoo says, wiggling his eyebrows at Jungwon.

Sunoo's going to tell everyone in their friend group. And now everyone will think that you two are a thing.

"Have fun on your date," Sunoo whispers to Jungwon, who elbows him. "It's not a date." Jungwon whispers back.

"Sure it isn't. Bye (Name)! See you tomorrow!" Sunoo says, waving at you. You bid farewell to him too, and before he leaves, Sunoo whispers one thing to Jungwon.

"Don't fall in love."

"I won't," Jungwon replies.

Jungwon doesn't know it yet, but he is very, very wrong.

eight －i see what's happening! previous ☆ next ♡ masterlist

author's note. first written chap of the series !! my entire body hurts cuz of badminton #lovemysport

CUPID'S CONFLICT! a jungwon smau. genre: smau, crack, fluff pairing: non-idol! jungwon x non-idol! reader warnings: swearing, ignore timestamps taglist is CLOSED!

[akutasoda]

helloo, i hope you’re doing well!

may i request kunikida, akutagawa, and atsushi who are just… a bunch of lovesick mess? T_T down bad for their co-worker but too shy and / or stubborn to admit it. i imagine they would have pent up feelings for months, until one day these men could barely behave properly being in the same room with said co-worker, even having trouble getting their paperwork / workload done (heavy on kunikida, poor man). thank you in advance 🫶🏻 (and ty for feeding us bsd fans w/ ur writings)

nothing but my love for you

synopsis - love makes people do crazy things and for some reason they can't function properly around you

includes - atsushi, kunikida, akutagawa

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, denial, hinted confessions, down bad characters, wc - 921

a/n: hii!! im doing alright, hope you're doing well too? :D

atsushi nakajima ★↷

it was a correct assumption that atsushi had never fallen in love nor really knew what it meant or how it worked. afterall he never really had time to learn something like that and he definitely just overall never had the best education.

so working in the agency and more specifically working alongside you gave him loads of new feelings that he didn't know whta to do with. and soon he developed his crush on you but he had absolutely no idea what to do ot how to get across to you that he liked you.

and even if he did, he was way to shy to admit himself. when he figured out that he was indeed crushing on you he panicked and started overthinking. further deterring him from confessing as he feared you would reject him. so he settled for bottling up his feelings and awkwardly stumbling on his words around you.

you weren't blind to the signs but you knew that confrontation would make him feel more awkward and worse than he clearly was feeling. but what you hadn't really anticipated was the fact that because you tried to let him figure out his feelings, he carried on for months.

he was so deeply in love with you but for months was too shy to properly address it. and he got worse by the day. if you even were stood in the same room he would constantly get distracted and often lead to him messing up his reports or jumbling his words up and stuttering like crazy.

and even though you wanted him to figure it out on his own, you feared he may only get worse. so eventually you had to take matters into your own hands and tell him your feelings. validating his feelings and giving him the confidence to also confess.

doppo kunikida ★↷

kunikida's love life was in simple terms complicated. of course he had his oh so famous 'ideals' which quite frankly was absurb and sometimes he would realise that himself. but he also never had much dating experience because of that fact.

so when he noticed how distracted he became when you were on the area he became very confused. he didn't understand at first why he always found himself staring at you or how his heart would always beat that little bit much faster whenever you were nearer.

he began denying any signs that he formed a crush on you and instead always chalked it upon stupid reasons that he was eventually sure he had run out of excuses. and so even when he knew he had to come to terms with the fact that he did indeed have a crush on you, he denied it.

he denied and ignored everything. he denied how his face would heat up and he had to look away so you wouldn't see the blush forming, how if you were in the room he would constantly stare at you.

and the worst one for him was the fact that he simply couldn't focus anymore. he seemed to not be able to properly finsih his paperwork as his mind constantly drifted to you. so much so that even dazai started teasing him about how he was on his downfall.

for months he pushed it to the back of his mind. but eventually he started longing for you even more and the amount of mistakes he was making was starting to annoy him. so he got over his denial and told you point blank that he liked you. admittedly rather stuttery and with a face full of blush but he had finally got it out there.

ryunosuke akutagawa ★↷

it would be yet another correct assumption that akutagawa has never fallen in love or really been bothered to even know much about that. he saw it as unnecessary and especially growing up in the port mafia it wasn't really the biggest priority for him. if anything it was irrelevant.

and in honesty he barely knew what those types of feelings were or the signs of them. so when he finally started letting his wall down around you he started noticing these new feelings creep up on him.

he noticed how you made his heart beat slightly more and how he felt his face heat up. and yet he still kept that nareow faced mask so for a while you barely had a clue and it didn't really help that you always expected him to never gather feelings for you. but eventually you would notice because he didn't understand these feelings and therefore not be able to hide them well.

he hates how you made him so distracted. you didn't even have to be there and his mind would drag to you, why were you consuming his thoughts? he was so confused on why he was acting so uncharacteristically.

and this would continue for months until gin realised how much her brother was struggling all because of his feelings. she told him straight and he finally realised but immediately began being in denial as he never thought he would have such feelings for someone. gin quickly got rid of those ideas.

and then you started realising how weird he was acting around you. even weirder than before, like he had something to tell you but didn't want to. it became very awkward for you and you eventually just confronted him and that's when you managed to fully realise why. and while it may take him time to properly come to terms, you could wait.

[sehya]

✧˖°. ࣪𖤐 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧

✉ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴇ ɪꜱ, ɪᴛ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ 'ᴄʜɪʟᴅʜᴏᴏᴅ'. ꜱᴛɪʟʟ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴀ.ᴋ.ᴀ ʏᴏᴜ. (ʜᴜᴍᴀɴꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴇᴛ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ.) ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴏᴏᴄ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬): 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 & 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫. (+𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥)

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥! 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫

Angel!Lucifer would be extremely overjoyed upon learning you wanted to befriend him. He was literally buzzling from excitement alone that finally, finally!, someone willing to get to know him.

It's not like he has no one to talk to. He does, but they aren't the most fond of him. In fact, it's the opposite. Other angels tend to stay away from him or treat him with obvious desire for distance in their behavior.

The very first time, he was prone to acting nervous and would unintentionally act in an awkward way. Please let him be, he's getting used to the company which he doesn't have before. He often overthinks things, a bit desperate to maintain and keep the first ever company who's willing to hang out with him.

Angel! Lucifer doesn't talk about his ideas to you at first, fearing you'll go away like the others. But over time, when he got comfortable enough, he opened up and started sharing his dreams and aspirations, his fears, and dislikes. Both the good and the bad thoughts.

Everyone watched and observed as your friendship grows and blooms like the brightest and most vibrant of flowers, and Raphael was embarrassed to stand talk to you and be seen around you. Why? Because the archangel has fondness towards his reputation and he doesn't want it being tarnished by his older brother who's always standing right beside you like some kind of lovesick puppy following its owner.

Now it is known that if anyone is looking for Lucifer, all they have to do is find you and they'll see him nearby, not too far away from you.

Good luck trying to keep this archangel away from you. He would always try to be there if he's not doing anything, with his goofy grin and silly smiles, always popping at your side with a “What you up to?” before asking if he could come along, help you or accompany you.

Angel! Lucifer is affectionate and polite at the same time. He would hug you as a greeting and ask your opinions first before doing something like curling up against you. He knew you wouldn't reject him but he still asks anyways, wanting to have your permission before he laid his head on your lap or cuddled with you while you're busy gazing at nothingness.

Angel! Lucifer shared everything with you and was happy to know you don't judge him because of his ideas. He would literally knock at your door so early in the morning when the sun has yet to shine and be like, “(Y/n), I have this idea about blah blah blah...” and you'll be sitting inside your own home, trying not to doze off as you nod along his words, letting him blabber about his ideas.

In the end, once he was done, Angel! Lucifer would grin and thank you for listening to him before falling asleep with you.

Right── since he's always around you, he would be there whenever someone's talking to you. God forbid anyone, and I mean anyone, talks bad about you, they'll find themselves under the piercing glare of a growling archangel who's ready to snap if the opportunity is given. The archangel rarely does anything bad but he would truly not hold back protecting those he cares about.

It's even worse because you spoil him so much, like he's the most precious creation ever. You rarely rejects anything he ask, which angel!Lucifer likes taking advantage of when he would ask you to take a break but you don't listen. A simple “please” with his silly smile was enough for him to drag you out of your office and 'hang out' (relax) with him.

As the only friend he has in Heaven, Angel! Lucifer would be greatly influenced by whatever you're into and passionate about. He would try to keep up with your thoughts and try to understand you, like you do for him. He's not perfect, to say, but best believe he'll always strive to be a great company for you.

✧˖°. ࣪𖤐 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫

✉ Hope you enjoyed it ᥫ᭡

[jigujellee]

EMERGENCY CONTACT -> you’re only supposed to call when you want each other, but what happens when she calls you because she needs you? (part 1: lead the way)

jennie x reader smut, fluff, angst - a triple threat >:) word count: 2.7k warnings: swearing, slight stalking moment

a/n: helloooo! happy new year again to everyone :D i know some of you have been waiting for this to drop, so i hope you enjoy it! as usual, it's not proofread so i'm sorry for any mistakes you may come across while reading. i'm also sorry if this is rusty, i've had writer's block for so long and it's only starting to get a little bit better,, but anw i love you all and remember to take care of yourselves!

the sound of wet kisses and quiet whimpers are the only things heard within the walls of jennie’s bedroom.

“fuck y/n, just like that” jennie moans as her hands get tangled in your hair, trying to push you even closer to her dripping wet core. you lap your tongue along the length of her slit causing the raven haired girl to arch her back.

“oh god! i’m so close baby, please don’t stop”

-

after reaching her orgasm and allowing her to return the favour, the two of you lay together in her bed trying to catch your breaths before jennie starts to giggle.

“what’s so funny miss kim?”

“nothing, it’s just that i’ll always be amazed by the way you fuck me y/n”

you turn over to face her and pull her closer to you, smiling as you two fall asleep together.

you don’t recall explicitly stating the terms and conditions of your “relationship”, for lack of a better word. after the first night you and jennie hooked up, she began calling you up in the late hours of the night saying she needed to “destress from work”, obviously meaning she needed the stress fucked out of her. you eventually started to do the same once midterm season was slowly approaching, and that’s how this whole thing started really. to an outsider, this was a simple friends with benefits situation but you didn’t really call like calling it that. to be quite honest, you didn’t know what to call this; you’re just satisfied with it.

but you felt a change and you didn’t like where it was going.

the last few times you’ve slept with jennie went as they usually do - you two meet up, have dinner, take a stroll somewhere and then eagerly rush to one of your places to have sex. then in the morning, whoever wakes up first makes breakfast (you’ve been to each other’s places enough times to know where everything is) and then one of you leaves until the cycle continues again. it was almost a routine at this point, so you start to question when you notice jennie trying to break it.

your suspicions started when you woke up to her staring at you. not so much in a creepy manner, but more so like she was adoring you as you slept. when your eyes open and they meet hers, a smile slowly grows as her somewhat hoarse voice (from all the screaming yk) manages to let out a soft “good morning.” you look into her eyes momentarily, noticing a glint of something that wasn’t there before but you ignore it. “morning,” you say as you get up and make way for the bathroom, not looking back to notice a sulking jennie.

then you noticed how she snuggles into your neck and places a soft kiss just below your jawline, whispering a “thank you” before drifting off to sleep. jennie has only recently been thanking you for having sex with her, and with you being the slight overthinker that you are, you believe that her “thank you” may have a slightly different meaning; something that she knows she doesn't want to admit yet.

today, you noticed how she begged to stay even after breakfast.

“what’s the rush? i don’t have work today and you don’t have classes”

“come on, we always do this jen, you know time’s up after breakfast”

“well, i wanna change it up today. why don’t we go do something fun?”

“like?”

“take me on a date,” she casually says, causing you to nearly choke on your almost finished coffee.

“a date? why?”

“it’s just a way for us to bond”

“is bonding in bed not enough?”

“oh come on y/n, it’s just a fun little date”

you sigh in defeat, watching as your opponent hops off the couch in glee to get dressed, but not before planting a kiss on your cheek.

“thank you,” she says, almost lovingly. you say nothing in return and just proceed to your room to get ready for this “date.”

-

“how much longer?” you yell from outside the dressing room. unfortunately for you, the term “date” to jennie just meant going shopping with her.

“someone’s eager to see me,” the girl smirks as she pulls the curtain back to reveal her in a simple yet elegant black dress.

“help me zip up please?” jennie’s back is towards you and you can’t help but stare hungrily at the bare skin. as you grab the zipper, you slowly pull it up to close the dress but your intrusive thoughts came over you and you begin leaving soft kisses on her back before you could zip it up completely. jennie sighs at the feeling of your lips on her skin. as you move up closer to her neck, you feel her arm wrap around the back of your neck. nibbling softly on the lobe of her ear, you whisper, “why don’t i just unzip this dress and take you right here, right now?” but as much as she wanted it, jennie stops your movements and turns to face you.

“i want a day without sex, y/n”

“huh? why, did you get your period or something?”

“no, i just want to enjoy this day without having to end it with sex like we always do”

your suspicions began to rise again. though you meet up with her every so often for your little fuck buddy system, you two rarely saw each other outside of that simply because of school and work. so for her to be asking for a day to just be with you without the sex makes you wonder why? and for what reason?

still, you decide to go along with it and see where it takes you. you leave the store without the black dress and start walking around the mall by jennie’s side. your left hand was in your pant pocket while you let your right hand swing in the air. when you feel jennie brush her hand against yours, you don’t move your hand for a moment to see if she tries to hold it. and you were right; she slowly tries to interlock your hands together, but you move your hand away and offer to carry her bags instead. this continued for the rest of your time at the mall together, her movements varying from trying to hold your hand or link arms with you, or even trying to snuggle up against you when you bumped into a classmate of yours. anything she tried to initiate, you would shut it down immediately.

on the way to your car, it was silent. you felt something brewing in the air and it didn’t feel good. so as you drive her home, you attempt to lighten the mood.

“damn miss kim, you have so many bags in the back, i can barely see in my rear view mirror”

dead silence.

“i honestly thought you were gonna buy the whole mall back there,” you quickly glance at her to find her staring out the window.

“alright, what’s wrong jennie? why the silent treatment?”

“is sex the only thing you want from me?” she asked, annoyed but her gaze never leaves the window.

“what are you talking about?”

“i know you know. i’m not stupid and neither are you. but is this really all you want out of this? out of us?”

“what ‘us’ are you talking about jen? this is just those things where we casually fuck”

“oh, so it really is just that. i’m just someone you call when you’re horny, that’s it”

“don’t act like you didn't start it!” you raise your voice slightly.

“that’s what it was before i fell in love with you! did you really think that we could pull this off without one of us catching feelings?”

“you seemed like the type, so yes i did”

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you pull into the driveway of jennie’s house and shut the engine off. you unbuckle your seatbelt and try to leave the car to go help with her bags, but jennie grabs you by the arm to keep you in your seat.

“i’m gonna ask you again y/n, is sex the only thing you want from me?”

you look at her in the eyes and you watch the tears form in them. this setup was dangerous from the start, but you really tried to keep things casual with her.

“yes. this was supposed to be just sex, and you fucked it up for us”

before you could even say anything else, she unbuckles her own seatbelt and gets out of your car without forgetting to slam the door. she grabs her bags from the trunk and also closes it with a slam. you didn’t even bother to help because you knew she’d reject it, and there was nothing you could do but watch as she angrily marches toward the entrance of her house that you used to be welcome in, until now.

-

the internet says it takes roughly 21 days to break a habit. for some people, it could be more and for some, it could be less. but for you and jennie, the routine you two shared managed to be broken in just one second with one sentence.

it’s 3:14am, you can’t sleep and you know you’ll wake up with dark circles under your eyes. still, you lay in bed and stare blankly at the ceiling as you wonder what the fuck was wrong with you.

thinking back to when you two first hooked up, there were no rules or terms and conditions to your situation with jennie. nothing was put in place, no one said that you couldn’t fall in love with each other, so why did you penalize her for it? you had no clue. maybe you were just a natural asshole. or were you just scared?

you can’t deny the fact that there were times you entertained the idea of being in a relationship with jennie. but yes, it did scare you - jennie is a well-known model and has an image to uphold, so what would the public think if they found out you, a broke college student, would be dating her? you’ve imagined the kind of comments you’d get from netizens and you wondered what kind of questions paparazzi would throw towards jennie: “jennie! is it true? are you dating an average college student?” “is it because you feel bad?” “do you pity the girl?” “does she want you for the money?”

it haunts you. you couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason jennie’s image gets ruined.

to try and soothe your brain, you pick up your phone to play some lofi music in hopes to fall asleep. your thumb hovers over a song before seeing a name flash on the top of the screen.

miss kim &lt;3 is calling

you let it ring a couple of times before answering,

“jennie?”

“y/n, hi i’m so sorry but um,” her voice is shaky, as if she was about to cry or if she was scared. you didn’t like either of those options.

“y/n i think i’m being followed. can you please come get me?”

“send your location, i’ll be there as soon as i can”

seeing that she was only a 10 minute walk away, you sprint to where she is and you find her standing in front of a light post in the park. as you approach her, you notice a figure standing near a bench, and a light suddenly illuminates from what looks like his phone; it seems as if he was checking it as if he wasn’t following jennie just now. he definitely noticed your presence but he waits to see if you’d leave her alone.

you whisper to jennie, “are you alright? did he hurt you?”

“i’m okay, he didn’t touch me. but if you didn’t come, i don’t know what he could’ve done. is he still there?”

your eyes glance up and you see the man still standing in the same spot, still looking at his phone.

“yeah, but i have an idea. i just hope it’ll work”

you wait for a moment and you watch his eyes come up from his phone, glances at you and jennie, and then turns to look in the opposite direction. you take this chance to quickly hide into a bush behind you, and you slowly crawl towards the man near the bench. when you’re close enough, you rustle the bushes to get his attention and you watch him get startled by the sudden movement. to add on, you start barking and growling like a dog which made you feel stupid, but it was convincing enough to make him run the opposite way from jennie.

she walks towards you, or the bush rather, and calls for you - “he’s gone now, you can come out now little guy”

“little guy my ass," you say as you dust yourself off of any dirt. "but i honestly didn’t think that would work. do you really think it was convincing?”

“yup, you were a real bitch back there y/n”

“touché”

jennie giggles, “but really, thank you. i’m sorry you were the one i called, i just didn’t know who else would come at this time and you’re the first person in my emergency contacts.”

you say nothing. you simply stare at her, admiring her features that make her who she is. you’re glad you’re her emergency contact. not her manager, not her friends, not even her family; it’s you.

you reach out your hand, "why don't you stay the night? and you can stay as long as you need to”

-

jennie sits at the dinner table, watching as you prepare breakfast for the two of you. you insisted she just sit back and relax after what happened last night.

“i’m fine y/n, i could’ve helped you cook”

“it’s alright, you must be tired and hungry”

you place down her plate that was filled with two pancakes, two sunny side up eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit on the side. you set yours down and take a seat, excited to dig in after hearing your stomach growl.

it’s silent for the most part. you don’t want to bring up last night’s events, and you figured jennie must’ve wanted some peace and quiet.

“so y/n..”

well, so much for peace and quiet. you looked up at her in response.

“can we talk? about us?”

“actually yes, we should”

jennie clenches her knife and fork, bracing herself for the worst that could happen.

“jen, i gotta be honest with you. i was just scared of falling in love with you. you know, you have this image you need to maintain and i just didn’t want to be the reason it gets tarnished. i refused to fall in love because i didn’t want any of us to get hurt in the long run”

she says nothing and just pokes at a blueberry, rolling it around the plate.

“however,” you pause slightly for dramatic effect.

“i realized that it was stupid of me to stop myself from falling. and it was also stupid of me to pretend that you weren’t falling. and i realized that i really love the idea of being your emergency contact”

jennie still says quiet, but now she manages to look at you with hope in her eyes.

“basically what i’m saying is that i want to give us a try. not just for the sex, not just this whole thing we got going on, i want the real deal with you. i know for a fact i won’t be perfect, we definitely won't be perfect. but for you i’m willing to try. because it’s you jen; i choose you.”

a gummy smile makes its way on jennie’s face, the events of the night long forgotten. at last, she feels seen and loved by you, the only person she’s ever wanted to feel loved by and the only person she’s willing to risk her image for.

“alright ash ketchum, let me help you with the dishes”

“damn, way to ruin a moment miss kim” you joke, as you follow your soon-to-be girlfriend to the sink.

[postmodernbeliever]

not for a second longer - fox mulder x female reader (fluff)

fox is coming home from a case that's got him missing you like crazy, and you're (im)patiently waiting.

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my ao3 | word count: 3,070

content tags: dorks in love, fox mulder misses you, domestic fox mulder, fluff, domestic fluff, worry, romance, waiting, overthinking, fox is an idiot (/pos), reunited and it feels so good, just soft fluff that's all, cross-posted on ao3, mentions of murder/case material but briefly!

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fox felt like if another second passed without hearing your voice, he might go insane, and this was a first- even for a complete lover boy like him. 

the agent has been away on a case for a few days. not much shorter or longer than any other work he’s done, but this time he couldn’t bear being far from home. he’d done everything just as he always does- there were no changes in the routine he’s tailored since he met you. he called every night to let you know he was safe and hear about your day, even if it was late and he woke you up by doing so; he’d remind you to feed his fish, and ask you about that nagging coworker who the two of you nicknamed hannibal because he always brought something creepily edible for lunch (the man ate steak tartare like his life dependent on it, honestly.) and you’d complain, like always, and you’d ask how his case was going, which would lead to him willingly divulging all kinds of classified information just for fun. you’d offer advice if you could. you weren’t as invested in the paranormal as he was, but you’d had your share of spooky stories, so your middle-of-the-road perspective helped at times. the phone call was always the same, but it didn’t matter what you talked about. he just wanted to hear your voice as badly as you did his, and it put you both at ease. so he called. 

like clockwork, fox admired the engraved backside of his watch before he fell asleep every night, where it said don’t keep me waiting. it was an inside joke that sparked when you’d first started dating. fox warned you up and down about how dangerous his job can be, how he’s been injured and in and out of hospitals and how multiple criminals are likely sitting on plans for his murder if they ever break out of incarceration. he prepared to see you get overwhelmed and leave him due to the potential stress; yet when he packed up for his first case, you kissed him softly, no fear to be felt, and told him not to keep you waiting because you couldn’t promise to keep his fishes alive while he was gone. the watch was last christmas’ gift, and he never took it off, especially when he was away. 

fox even kept with his dorky tradition of taking one of the many shirts you’d left at his apartment and sleeping with it under his pillow, where he could hold onto it and feel like he at least had a piece of you while he was alone. when you found out he did such a thing, you teased him brutally, and then you began leaving clothes in every corner of the apartment for him to save. and you left your spare perfume bottle in his bathroom cabinet, so he could concentrate them with you. 

the man took all the cheesiest precautions to make his work out of state bearable until he could solve the damned things and get back home, but even with all of his bases covered, it wasn't enough. something felt different this time. coming back to a motel every night, like he had for his whole career before he met you, was torture. every moment of the case strung him farther out. now, if you’d asked the lovely and level-headed dana scully why fox was so eager to be done with the case, she would’ve given you a plain and simple explanation: the two were investigating a string of seemingly unrelated murders by men unto their girlfriends, but fox had a suspicion that some kind of entity persuaded each man to kill the girl who kept their beds warm. and with every day that they didn’t track the cause down, he felt the pressing weight of your safety and how much he cared for you, and it was making him- as scully would kindly put it, of course- act out extremely irrationally. even you could put two and two together there, but he’d been a bit avoidant over the phone about this one job, so you didn’t know. fox refused to think about you in connection to the work, though, because to allow his brain to cross its signals and imagine you and him as victim and suspect (as a paranoid brain might) would just be stupid. but whether he meant to think of you or not, everything was putting him on edge by association, and he was itching to see you happy and healthy and still his. 

by the time fox deciphered that the newest date-night romantic comedy at the local movie theater was having midnight showings, and the ticket booth operator was a twenty-five year old involuntary celebate who was admitting loving couples into the place and watching them make out right in front of his jealous eyes, the case was a one-and-done. scully didn’t buy that the employee was telekinetically causing the boyfriends to kill, but the kid got shot in a police chase, so fox was left to his conclusions and she to hers. and he couldn’t drag her ass out of town fast enough. fox was two hours early to the airport. he bounced his leg on the entire flight home, and scully barely got a “see you tomorrow” out by the time he hailed a cab and ordered the driver to his address. 

his gut was twisting itself in knots, hoping you’d be home. you practically lived with him by how much time you spent at his apartment; the truth was that he was away so often, and you just couldn’t sleep unless you could curl up in his bed, with his pillows and blankets and wearing his clothes, and let everything that belonged to him comfort you until you got the man back himself. he knew you’d be there- it was nearly one in the morning. but still, after all this time staring at dead girls and thinking about how in love they were with the trusted boys who slit their throats, he just wanted to collect you into his arms and keep you there. 

you were wide awake because you knew he was on his way. you stayed up all night watching all the classic movies he had on tape, glancing at the clock, trying to stop obsessing over the unlikely crash of his plane. you were standing in his little kitchen, watching the tea kettle boil and listening to the fuzzy transatlantic accents yapping a room away, when the front door of the apartment swung open. 

you didn’t even have time to leave the kitchen. fox threw his bags down like a child and scurried to you, engulfing you in his arms; he drew your body snugly into his and buried his face in your shoulder. he was squeezing the air from your lungs, but you didn’t mind. you combed your fingers through his moussed-up hair, breaking up the curated clumps and reminding it of how it naturally fell against his head. he smelled just as he did when he left, like his ralph lauren polo green- minty and smoky, and so much himself. his soft leather jacket hung onto the smell of his taxi, but you ignored the staleness and inhaled the good stuff. 

“i missed you so much,” fox sighed. the man showered you with kisses all over your neck and jaw, traveling up the valleys of your cheeks to make sure he got your eyes and nose and forehead, too. you squirmed playfully and swatted at his hands, but he only smiled and fought you off.

“jeez, it’s like you thought i died or something!” you giggled. 

fox’s eyes flashed with something that looked like momentary worry, and then it was gone- replaced with a warmth you’d missed more than you realized the past few days. his arms were around you again, this time much gentler, and he asked, “you feel safe with me, don’t you?”

“what? fox, why would you even ask that? of course i do,”

“you know i’d never hurt you,”

“baby, you’re the only person in the world i feel safe with.” you promised, petting the back of his head softly, smoothing the hair down his neck. with both hands, you lifted his face from your shoulder and brought his face close, so you could look right into his ruminative eyes. the man smiled as your thumbs caressed the stubble growing in on his cheeks, those rounded teeth poking out beneath his top lip the way you adored. your chest fluttered, and you couldn’t help but return the gesture. 

“are you okay, baby?” you asked, knocking your forehead against his playfully. 

the man dipped his neck low and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. somehow it felt more intimate than if he’d truly kissed you; like by being an inch off base, he was saying more than the real thing could. he always did things like that, such small gestures that would go unnoticed if he was any other guy and you were any other girl, but every move fox made was conscious. each one was a choice that meant something. kissing you in such a way wasn’t a mistake, it was purposeful- he was proving his allegiance, ruling your mouth was more sacred and deserved to be earned. he was poetic in that respect, you knew it, and it made every hair on your body stand up. maybe that’s why you shifted your position and locked him in a normal kiss- a forceful one, at that. to remind him that you were nothing sacred, just someone who desperately loved him. 

you’d missed the way his lips molded to yours, the familiar chapped patches that came from his nervous biting, the way his scruff scratched your chin. you even missed the feeling of his breath as it blew out of his nose and across your face, warm and frequent, because he always seemed to breathe faster when you got close, like a teenage boy. you kissed him hard, letting your hands fall down his chest and press against his abdomen, remembering the sculpted curves of his stomach beneath his t-shirt. fox’s lips curled upwards as you touched him, and in those few moments of your neediness, he was sure you meant what you said before- that you truly did feel safe with him. 

when he pulled away, he brought the pad of his thumb to your plump bottom lip, holding you by the chin. “i’ve been going crazy without you, you know.”

“so have-” you began, but were cut off by the sudden screeching of the forgotten kettle behind you. both fox and yourself jumped, and you rushed to twist the knob on the stove, shutting the thing up in frustration. “sorry.”

“it’s okay,” the agent chuckled.

“you want some?” 

“only if you bring it over to the couch for me,” fox said, batting his eyelashes jokingly. 

“what am i, your mother?” you countered.

fox rolled his eyes and pressed another kiss to your lips, rebutting, “no, but you do love me, don’t you?”

“oh, shut up. go unpack.”

you listened to his footsteps as he went to retrieve his bags and haul them to his bedroom. smiling to yourself, you waited to hear him open the door and laugh. every time he came home, you left his bed an unruly mess and accumulated as many water cups on his nightstand as possible, and he had a love-hate relationship with it (mostly love, because he adored the idea of you living in his space.) a full-bodied sound came from the other side of the apartment, a hearty one, and a voice called, “impressive collection you’ve got in here!”

with two steeping cups of oolong you walked slowly back to fox’s living room, where his copy of vertigo had rewinded to the start. you settled into the couch, putting your feet up on the coffee table and watching jimmy stewart dangle from a drainpipe as you awaited your boyfriend’s return. it always took him a little while to unpack because it was more like repacking- he would swap out all his worn clothes with new ones and throw everything in the hamper, and he had to take out all his necessities only to keep them somewhere easy for him to grab come the next time work sends him away. you were used to waiting for him, but how he acted tonight was making you impatient. 

when fox was finally done and changed into a clean shirt and pajama pants, he headed towards the hallway to come and sit with you. but he paused when he came to the corner, making his steps quiet, so he could take a look at you undisturbed. you were slouched on his old, rickety couch, in clothes all belonging to him; a pair of old gray sweatpants that hugged your thighs, given they were a bit bigger than his skinny ones, his old oxford long sleeve that has a hole in the neck, and a frumpy blue grandpa-style cardigan he hasn’t worn in years. your hair was tucked away in an unraveling braid, with little locks fanning like leaves across the apples of your cheeks. your chipped nails cradled the mug in your palms, and the colors from the box television danced in the reflection of your chunky tortoiseshell glasses. he imagined you sitting like this while he was off on a case, at home in his home, watching his movies and wondering about him like he did of you late at night. you were so pretty and so important that he felt the love buzzing in his fingertips and toes.

the man came around the corner and sat down cautiously on the couch so as not to spill your tea. your face softened at his arrival, and you leaned forward to place your cup down and clamber back to him, throwing your arms around his neck. fox hoisted you onto his lap despite your objections, and he hugged you tighter. he just didn’t feel like letting you go tonight, it seemed. 

“did you eat?” you asked, looking down into those puppy eyes that gazed up. 

“a little while ago.”

“how long was a little while ago?”

“...ten o'clock this morning?” fox grinned sheepishly.

“fox! aren’t you starving? let me go heat something up, i got chinese last night-”

“shh, no, not yet,” he grabbed your hips as you tried to get off of him, “don’t go anywhere yet. sit for a minute.”

“but-”

“no buts. just sit with me a little longer and then i promise i’ll eat, okay?”

you sighed, only half-aggravated, and nodded softly. “alright, fine.”

you rested your head in the crook of his neck, your shoulder pressed to his; he twisted you a bit so you had a chance to look at the tv and sit on him at the same time. fox’s fingers traced mindless shapes against the fabric of his sweatpants on your knee, finally at ease. you stole a glance at him from the side and admired the way even his harshest features seemed to curve softly; his square jaw melted into his neck, his aquiline nose a pretty protrusion alongside his lashes that curled wildly. you always thought his face was the most deserving of marble preservation, far more than those ancient guys. 

“you're missing the movie,” he flushed. 

“i already watched it tonight.” 

the man nuzzled your forehead like a puppy, feeling his stomach flip as your palm rested flat against his chest. you snuggled right up to him and let out a heavy breath you didn’t know you were holding. the two of you sat quietly for a while, taking turns watching each other and remembering what it felt like to be close, and you were half-asleep in the comfort of his arms when his stomach growled and woke you up.

“i’m gonna go make you something,” you chuckled.

“awh, come on, you were just about to sleep!” he whined.

“fox, i want you to eat. once you have a little something then i’ll climb right back on you, promise,” you teased, pushing up off the couch.

“whatever,” he groaned, but there was a toothy smile behind the complaint, so you took it well. 

fox watched as you sauntered off to the kitchen, and he called after you, “hey, wait,”

“what?”

the man hopped off the couch and scrambled to the doorway, where you were only feet from the refrigerator. he stooped down and planted a smooch to your forehead, muttering an, “i love you.”

“just can’t leave my side now, hm?” you nudged fox’s nose with your own and gave him a look so fond it nearly melted him into a puddle on the kitchen tile. “i love you more. now beat it, spooky.”

“hey!”

“shush. go sit down and i’ll make it up to you later.”

‘you’re bossy,” fox crossed his arms, leaning against the wood molding and watching you move towards the fridge.

“well, if you’re not gonna leave, then at least get a pan for me to heat this rice up in, would you?” you ordered, shaking the day-old fried rice container in his face.

“anything for you, darling.”

being without each other could feel impossible at times. no matter how he tried, no set routine could recreate the feeling of falling asleep beside you; nor could any amount of his laundry could conjure fox himself to send you off to work with a kiss every morning. his work made it easy to miss him. but moments like this, where he watched you make him a late-night snack that he would share with you, were the moments that made all the waiting worth it. and the moments that will come after, too- the couch that was waiting for you both to come back to, where you’d fall asleep with your face against his neck, and where he’d fall asleep watching you breathe. nobody knew that absence makes the heart grow fonder more intimately than you two did. but even with that in mind, neither of you cared about that right now. 

he was simply thankful to be with you, the one he called home; thankful that he didn’t have to be without you for a second longer, and so were you.

[chanzies]

how are the skz members when jealous? <3

Remember to take this lightly! I’ve done this mainly based on being jealous of their partner and someone else. I’ve also done this under the thought of their s/o not having any bad intentions.

Chan

Jealousy is a feeling Chan that really dreads cuz that’s when he knows HES IN IT BAD. He doesn’t want to act like everything’s okay to his partner but he struggles to word it? Because he feels like if he just says “seeing you with other people makes me jealous” he’s gonna sound bad. So he always ends up confusing himself and by time he’s finally made his way out of that confusion there’s nothing to discuss - because it happened a long time ago and hasn’t happened since. He definitely likes feeling like he’s in charge, he wears the pants and can tell his partner WHATS THE BIZ. But he also gets so nervous because he doesn’t wanna hurt his partner (we all know he’s soft and wears no pants) so jealousy is a big thing. ALSO when Chan gets angry he loses his practical mind and in his brain he’s like, “ooh imma BANABAJAGSH” so when he’s jealous HIS MIND gets so angry and he can’t voice his frustration as said.

Lee know

Lino definitely becomes cold. He acts like he’s fine and doesn’t have a reaction but inside he is not happy. He will become distant around you like, his answers will be short and he won’t be his usual self. This is his payback? If it’s where he can tell you’ve made him jealous on purpose he will definitely be doing this out of spite but this is also his genuine reaction as I can see when Lee know is upset he doesn’t really show it in a angry way, he shows it in a cold and distant way. But Lino isn’t in denial about his feelings he recognises when he’s upset and he stays true to his feelings, he might not tell you he’s mad directly but it won’t be hard to put two and two together. He’s emotionally mature but not mature enough to move on.

Changbin

Changbin feels like he needs to fight to show he’s better then that person. He will see his ‘opponent’ doing things and try to double it, and he’ll feel so smug after impressing you, saying “Better then ____ right?”. He’ll do so much silly things to make himself look better, that it will start bothering you. You’ll be the one annoyed not Changbin. He needs someone to tell him he’s enough. But Changbins creativity will really shine through here cuz he will be doing so much to win you over in some imaginary competition.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin will compromise his feelings. He doesn’t want to come off as over protective and you push him away. He’s scared of you rejecting how he feels ?? Eg. If he tells you you’ve made him jealous he doesn’t want you to go like, “oh it’s nothing… don’t worry” cuz that’s gonna make him worry more that you don’t wanna go into detail with him. That’ll lead him to overthink. So he will try his best to move on for you. But if you notice and you mention it to him, he’ll break down. I full on mean as soon as you ask, “are you okay?” He will lose it. He will speak his mind and become a little critical - I can see why Hyunjin didn’t want to bring it up because it made him feel insecure and the feeling of insecurity really triggers Hyunjin.

Han

He feels insecure and he starts to over think. He’s never going to be better then that person, you might as well just go. His mind fills with self deprecating thoughts. But somewhere in those thoughts his brain decides to do something new. He takes you out to lunch, treats you to something nice, maybe he gets a haircut. He wants to start over, he wants to forget that jealousy and just show you what a cool guy he is. He might even take you out for a walk in a really nice area, telling you about whatever intrigues him. He tackled that jealousy but upping his jealouser??!?!? The person who made him jealous

Felix

He will act immaturely about his feelings like, when you say something simple eg “Can you pass me the milk?” Felix will respond with, “Why don’t you ask ___?”. The thing is Felix won’t even think that’s bad, in his mind it’s pay back. He’s just acting like you did. He would definitely try to make you jealous too. He needs to believe in himself and his partner.

Seungmin

Confused, did you do it on purpose? Or was it just normal? Is he overlooking this? I don’t think Seungmin would ponder on this for too long, he’ll ask you but not in a immediate YOU ARE IN THE WRONG WAY; he’ll approach with chill so he can know what you thought of the interaction. If it was nothing, he will take your word for it; there’s no reason for him to worry further. He trusts you. If you get defensive by him asking this, he will also get defensive and a fight ensues.

Jeongin

He’s in touch with his emotions, he won’t go sleepless about it asap he will explain to you about how he felt and ask you to be more mindful of his feelings. He’ll listen to what you have said, come to a conclusion and then it’s over for him.

[hunt-me-sergeant]

Hi, it's me again with another theory cause I'm an overthinker ! Phee theory it is.

Let's put all the Tech and Phee situation aside. I personally have nothing against the ship and Phee. She's an amazing character and a boss lady. Tech deserves happiness. I enjoy her character as much as I enjoy Cid. That's why she's intriguing to me.

However, I don't trust neither of them. I don't trust anyone except for Rex when it comes to The Batch.

I just feel that the writers are trying really hard to misdirect us. Away from Cid and Phee's true intentions.

So let's compare. We have ☯️ situation here.

Cid

From the start, she was shown to be kind of mean, dislikable, morally grey character and all she cared about was her business. The subject of "trust" has been mentioned many times between The Batch and her and we know it's definitely not there.

In the episode (that people call a filler episode) "Faster", we had a chance to see more of Cid. We found out she has a low key dark past. We heard Millegi's advice to not trust her.

With her The Batch was always busy, going on missions with their guard up. They were always ready for a fight.

Now we see they decided to cut ties with Cid due to her denying them help on Makko.

Phee

When Phee was introduced, we immediately fell in love because we met a cool pirate lady, who doesn't take anyone's shit and she gave all the deserved attention to our man Tech. She's doing God's work.

Another filer episode "Entombed" where Phee taking them on a mission to look for a treasure. We could see more of her and her amazing stories. Omega absolutely adores her, she's like a cool aunty. She's all smooth and awesome. Sweet.

Now we have her helping The Batch. She took them on Pabu, where she made them feel safe and relaxed. She showed them a place to stay.

What a nice contrast, isn't it?

Also quick note : Those "filler" episodes are not fillers in my opinion. They had a purpose – to mislead us even more. See how all the fillers were connected to Cid or Phee?

But as I said in my Cid theory, this show taught me to pay attention to every detail and every little word.

And what made me go "hmmm" was Phee's "makes you wonder, doesn't it?" When Hunter asked why did she bring them on Pabu.

I dont trust both of these ladies, but while everyone thinks Cid will be the traitor, I think it's Phee whom we should worry about.

The writers seem to try to make us see Cid as a bad person. While with Phee, we are totally sold to the vision of her being a friend.

The moment when Phee heard they cut ties with Cid, she immediately took them on a planet that is a secret sanctuary and that Cid doesn't know about its existence.

She took them on Pabu, saying this is a place to stay. When Hunter asked her if she meant them staying there permanently, she didn't say simple yes. She used Hunter's weakness - Omega, "She seemed to like it here."

And Hunter was sold. They are now thinking of Pabu as a potential home. They are safe, relaxed and what's the more important... they lowered their guard.

Let's look at this from the "If Phee is indeed the traitor" POV. She took them on a secret planet. No one now knows the batch's location except for Phee. They don't suspect anything bad happening. So...one signal sent to the Empire, and they have the batch on a golden platter.

You'd ask, "If it's true, what does Phee gain from betraying the batch?". Maybe it would be an exchange for freedom of Pabu? Maybe some ancient good or someone of a high value to her that the Empire now posses? Treasure can be many things right?

It's true that she would endanger Pabu but Shep said they don't have any reason to come on Pabu since this planet has no valuable resources and even if they come they will be manage, whatever that means.

We all know that Pabu being the silence before the storm is a fact. Funny enough, the whole episode looked like a foreshadowing of it.

The Empire is looking for Omega. We will probably see Crosshair being sent for the hunt. He needs some information about where she can possibly be. Cid doesn't know about Pabu's existence, so she can't be the traitor, even if she wanted. She has no location to give the Empire.

Some may think my theories about Cid and Phee are too complex for this show. But are they? Meanie becoming a hero and sweet soul turning out to be a traitor is one of the most basic tropes in both kids and adult shows. Also if you think I'm reaching then scroll away idk 🤷🏽‍♀️.

At the end of the day I really hope both, Cid and Phee turn out to be the batchers' friends and will help them escape the Empire for good. But you're lying if you say theories aren't fun 😌

[dissociation-station123]

Satoru GojoXReader-overthinker with a jokester who loves to make her DUMB

“Satoru you are a fucking idiot…” You scoff as he pouts, kneeling beside you. You were nearly finished with the novel you were reading when he had yanked it from your grasp. You glare up at him with sheer rage and he makes a startled noise.

But Satoru Gojo always recovers quickly. “You frown too much. Don’t complain when you get wrinkles Y/N.” Satoru flicks your forehead and tosses your book across the room. “I’m sooo bored!” His arrogance was astonishing as he lifted you up so he could plop down on the couch beside you.

Your eyes widen in shock at how brave he was. Most people throughout your life avoided your cold expressions as if you would kill them on the spot. In reality you were just not a fan of trivial conversation. You preferred meaningful dialogue. So it came to a surprise to yourself when you befriended this obnoxious jokester now scrolling on his phone and laughing way too loudly at stupid sixty second videos.

“Look at this cute doggo Y/N!” Satoru grins shoving his phone in your face. The puppy was adorable but you weren’t going to admit it to him. “Ooo come on you know you love it.” He takes back his phone, rolling those deep baby blues.

“I’m not amused by silly little clips, Satoru. Now give me my book back and leave me alone.” You frown, you lean your elbow into his side and he screeches in pain.

“Fine! Fine!” Satoru whines pushing you back. “You're so boring…” You shrug no longer bothered by such shallow insults. You knew you were not a social butterfly and have embraced yourself for it. “I don’t even know what I see in you?!”

You raise your eyebrow quizzically at the words that escaped him. “Without me around you would be wandering around aimlessly with no insight. You blindly trust everyone. You're clumsy and way too friendly. I drag you back to reality.” You answer with no emotion present in your tone. “You're pretty much a dog in human form. Now would you please be so kind as to fetch my damn book.”

Satoru did not move, instead he watched you intently. “If I’m a dog, you're a grumpy cat. You never leave your house. You always have something clever to say and it’s always in a very rude way. You're beyond depressing and fickle.”

“Then why do you keep coming over, fucking pestering me?!” You almost growl your fingers now digging into the collar of his t shirt pulling him closer. That stupid smile widens as you tighten your grasp.

“You want to know why?” Satoru whispered in almost a seductive tone. You knew he was trying to tease you. Even still your curiosity won over your instinct. You don’t reply, just simply wait for his response. His breath ghosted over your neck as he leaned closer. You swallowed heavily at the proximity. “My dear moody friend…” his voice lowered and you felt goosebumps form along your arms. “The way you can swallow my cock is addictive.”

“Such a whore…” You mutter but don’t dare move away from him, you never wanted to show how much he gets under your skin at times like this. You stare at him from your peripheral taunting him to do more.

Your friendship has become a bit more than platonic recently. A night of drinking had you both crossing those invisible lines. You now had a mutual agreement. Sex was fun and didn’t need to mean anything.

“I’m your little whore though…” Satoru says sweetly through a soft chuckle. His long fingers land on your knee then travel up your thighs. You gasp when he nibbles lightly on your earlobe.

You were not sure how Satoru does it. But he is able to completely quiet the chaotic thoughts that were always rambling around by a simple kiss. You were scared of how much you were starting to rely on it. “All those pesky thoughts. Let me help you to ease them from that cute little brain of yours.”

You somehow find resolve even as his fingers delicately dance along your inner thigh. You regretted wearing shorts today. Taking a shuddered breath you collect yourself and take hold of his wrist. “I would rather see how my book ends. So why don’t you go find trouble elsewhere?”

Satoru growls and it surprises you, it was as if he was actually frustrated. “Y/N…” The tone was dangerous, your heart suddenly jumped. You could no longer look at him without wanting to give in. You hear Satoru click his teeth, you could feel his glance. “Look at me…”

It was an order, no mistaking it for a suggestion. Yet you fought the overwhelming urge to follow it. You simply shake your head, your hands now clenched in your lap.

The more time you spend with him the more you imagine what type of relationship you would have. You knew your fantasies were always more thrilling than real life. You needed to limit your time in his presence. Therefore you picked up a huge chronicle of novels to read for the weekend.

Satoru had mentioned a club event in passing and you assumed he would go. So when he showed up at your doorstep you almost slammed the door in his face. And now he was touching you. Tempting you once again. “Your cruel Satoru Gojo… A fucking sadist…” You practically spat the words now picking at your fingernails as a way to calm yourself.

You have caused him to storm out on you in a tantrum on multiple occasions. You don’t mean to hurt others but sometimes what you allow to escape from your lips was too real for the average human. You jumped when instead he burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. “Sat…” You go to speak his name.

“Shut up.” Satoru whispers as he cuts you off. His usual light hearted nature had completely shifted to something unrecognizable. “You want me to truly be cruel?” Those blue eyes were always soft and amused. But now there was pain there. You reached out to him but this time he took hold of your wrist.

You were at a loss for words even though millions of thoughts overwhelmed you. What is wrong? What have I done? Why are you like this? See it’s better if you're alone. You won’t hurt anyone if you don’t allow them to get to know you. You're a monster… “I will break through every single wall you put up, Y/N. I won’t let you run away. I will find you and bring you back. Even if I have to tie you down and cage you up.”

A weird tight feeling took root in your chest.. You tilted your head to the side as you looked up to him not understanding. “Why?! Why can’t you just leave me be? I can’t make you happy. I am a dark cloud following you around and everyone is uncomfortable. Can’t you see that!!” You dig your nails into the palm of your hand. You shout when Satoru yanks you to straddle his lap and takes hold of your chin roughly, making you stare up at him.

“You stupid woman…” He whispers and you grimace. “All this knowledge you have collected and dissected. I am amazed by how much you have accomplished. The rewards you have received. I am the one who felt as if I was always holding you back. You always have the right words to say when I need advice. You knew exactly how to logically figure out a solution I was too overwhelmed to see. I thought if I could make you laugh or smile maybe I could finally repay you. But you only found me as a nuisance yet you call me cruel…”

You hated how his face had fallen into such a depressed state. This was not the Satoru Gojo you were used to. It was like looking at your own reflection. “I…” You stuttered and fumbled. “I had no idea… so many people fawn over you, Satoru.”

“I finally found something you could use me for. I was so happy…” Satoru’s glance seemed to look past you.

“What do you mean?” You hear the nerves laced in your voice. A small grin forms but never reaches his eyes.

“I could use my touch to quiet all of the negative thoughts that seemed to plague you. That night when I had you under me…” Satoru paused and memories of that first night flashed through your mind. The way he took control over your very being. Your cheeks heated. “That was the first time I ever saw you truly smile for me…”

Fuck… this fucking idiot… “Stupid… You're an idiot…” You say through gritted teeth. “Why would you be satisfied with that?! I knew you were dumb Satoru but I didn’t know you were this pathetic…”

As your fist connects with his chest he steals a kiss that completely takes your breath from your lungs. The chaos of swirling emotions that had started to crash down in terrifying waves slowly turned gentle and soothing as his tongue slid across your lower lip. Your fists flattened your palms now exploring the curves of his chest greedily. “That’s it sweet girl… give in to me yeah…” His voice was a lulling lullaby to your ears as you whined in response.

Before giving your mind a chance to process his tongue was devouring the inside of your mouth. All you could do was open up for him. His kiss was so addicting… The voice in your mind began to fade to static. You moan into his lips when his large hands cupped your ass forcing you to grind on him. “That’s my good girl…” Satoru groaned. You gasped as you felt him harden beneath you.

“Satoru… Wait…” You regretted your words when those hands moved to grip your thighs and his fingers traced the soft inner skin, so close to your aching core. Satoru paused and looked down at you, his pupils blown wide. Soft blush coated his cheeks and his breathing was erratic. He was beautiful.

“Please Y/N…” Satoru’s lips pouted and his tone was almost a whimper. Fuck… “I fucking need to see you smile for me again… I need to see that you need me as much as I need you. Let me do this for you.”

You could not formulate a response, you were currently hypnotized by his desperation. Your whole body was fighting against your denial. “Ok…” You manage to whisper as your thumb traced along his lower lip. The toothy grin replaced the pout as he bites your thumb teasingly.

“Kiss me then.” Satoru ordered you, his voice lowering. Without the earlier hesitation you gave into his demand. His fingers now travel to softly trace the back of your neck as he pulls you deeper into the kiss.

As his teeth nip at your bottom lip he gently picks you up slightly to set you down into the couch on your back, now hovering above you. You actually laugh as he roughly undresses you no longer being patient. “Satoru relax…” You say amused as he slips off your shorts.

“No panties?” Satoru eyebrow raises and you roll your eyes. “So naughty!”

“I was comfortable in my own home and was not expecting company. Don’t flatter yourself.” You say as he smiles down his eyes traveling to take in every inch of your body. “You look possessed.” You tease him and he looks back up into your stare.

“Y/N…” Satoru’s voice lowers and the seductive tone makes you take in a breath. “I'm obsessed with making such an intelligent person unable to even form complete sentences… It’s fucking addictive.”

You fall silent as his hand wraps around your throat, he squeezes until your nails dig into his forearm and tears blind your vision. Strangled moans escape your mouth because at the same his thumb caresses your clit. Satoru hums, “You're already dripping for me… that’s so sexy…”

He releases the pressure on your throat while slipping two fingers into your cunt. You cry out as your body convulses and shakes below him. Your body is arching up on its own as intense pleasure courses through you.

“Fuck Satoru… fuck…” You can only mumble curses as your vision slowly becomes clear again. Yet he shows no mercy as his fingers plunge in and out of you. The sounds of your arousal makes you even more heated.

“Awww my pretty girl has such a dirty little mouth…” Satoru sneers but he groans when he feels your pussy clamping around his finger greedily. “Going to have to keep you quiet, aren't I?” Satoru kisses you deeply as he begins to scissor you. You moan into his mouth causing him to chuckle sadistically. “Stick that pretty tongue out for me…”

You nod stupidly and stick out your tongue in anticipation. “So obedient now aren’t we?” Satoru growls, running his fingers along your tongue while his other hand pushes deeper, hitting your sweet spot perfectly.

You let out a feral sound as you drool against his fingers. Your nails digging into his waist like a cornered animal. “Fuck…” Satoru hisses as he feels you cum against his hand. “You drive me crazy when you break like this under me.”

“Mmm…” All you could do was whimper and choke as he pushed his fingers deep down your throat. Your hips bucking desperately and legs shaking uncontrollably.

As you feel your belly tighten for another orgasm he slows his tempo pulling his fingers out of your mouth. You whine in frustration being so close to going over the edge once again. All you could think about was missing that feeling.

“What’s going on in that big brain of yours now?” Satoru brags because he knows that right now your thoughts are only on him. What he can do to make you feel good.

“Please….” You beg your eyes lowered lips in a pout, swollen from the fury of kisses. “Fuck me… fuck me…” You shout the only thing you could think of to get that feeling of being filled again.

You watch as he undresses all the way. You nearly drool from the sight of his freed cock, wet with precum. Throbbing to be buried inside you. “Smile for me…” Satoru barely is able to get the words out as he strokes his dick getting back onto the couch.

You hesitate that small bit of fight crawling its way to the surface. You hold back your sounds of pleasure when he runs his length along your folds.

There was now a war raging internally as you gritted your teeth not to appease him. “Your brain is finally waking back up huh?” Satoru laughed cruelly as he teased you, the tip slightly entering you but it wasn’t enough. You needed him deeper.

“I… hah…” You tried to speak but he was now rolling circles along your clit.

“What was that treasure…” Satoru knew you were trying your hardest to respond. He loved the way he could get you to become a mindless slut. He even leans down closer, his lips nearly touching yours. “It’s ok I’ll make you myself.”

Satoru does not push in; instead he coats his cock with your juices and yanks your thighs closed around it. You gasp in shock as your pussy feels the cold air. You look at him pleadingly.

As he slowly thrust against your closed thighs, his stare now becomes glossy as he loses a bit of himself. The plush softness of your skin. “What? What do you want?” Mocking you because you know he knows.

“Hmm.” You whine pathetically. Your sole focus was to have him where you wanted him most. Though his jaw clenching in struggle as he tries to control himself was intoxicating. “You want to fuck me as much as I want you to. So please!”

“Know it all…” He groans and you smile brightly as you see him spread your legs wider. “There it is… fuck so beautiful.” Before you could even process that his arm wraps around your waist and forces you to turn, now on all fours.

You thank him as he shoves his cock to the hilt. “You're so welcome pretty…” Satoru softly whispers as he tightly grasps your hips. “Now let me hear your cute little cries…” He pushes your head down to arch your back even more and relentlessly slams in and out, your pussy was already convulsing around him.

“Satoru… so good…” You say the only thing on your mind as you crumble into a crying mess. You moan loudly as you feel yourself edging back to that blissful release. “Cumming soon…”

Satoru no longer speaks. Just groans and occasional curses as your walls shutter against him, you slick dripping to coat his balls. “Me to…” You felt proud he was unable to hold out much longer. You both scream and shudder as you orgasm; you feel his slight panic as he pulls out and cums onto your back.

His weight now leaning against you as you both take in deep breaths. “Hah…” you are unable to move even a little.

“You do so well. The way your eyes roll back…” Satoru spouts compliments as he struggles to regain his own composure. “You're perfect.”

Perfect… Your heart raced again. You have always been so harsh to yourself. To imagine a man like Satoru Gojo telling you you're perfect. You could not believe it. Satoru sweetly tells you to relax as he goes to grab a washcloth. You were alone with your thoughts.

He smiles down at you as he cleans up the mess that was made. “You ok?” He asks suddenly, looking concerned.

“I was thinking…” You say in a bit of a joking manner and Satoru gasps.

“Well we can’t have that…” Suddenly he is picking you up, bridal style. You go to scold him for being too heavy but he clicks his teeth at you as he carries you to your bedroom. “I have to make sure that doesn’t happen. It will probably take all night.”

“Definitely, it will take all night.” You laugh, you feel yourself brighten up. A lightheadedness fogging anymore dark thoughts as he joins you on the bed.

“Tell me you need me.” Satoru was soaking in the happy expression on your face. Almost hypnotized by it.

“Satoru I need you… So don’t you leave me please.” You say the words you had been too stubborn to say out loud. Satoru Gojo looked overjoyed as he pecked small kisses on your entire face. You cared about him. It was scary but there was no denying it anymore. This idiot…

[ijwrff]

Hi, i was wondering if i could request a Natemare x reader with the prompts:

Angst:

8

19

20

Fluff:

6

7

10

11

18

19

21

22

24

I understand if its too much or something but i was thinking, Mare gets into a bad place mentally or something happens to the reader (or both?) and starts questioning if the reader (femme pronouns please) actually loves him but she shows that she does and they fall back together after some mutual pining? (Im a sucker for mutual pining and just falling so completely in love with someone) ty ty ^-^

Also protective and cuddly Mare has my WHOLE entire heart, hes so PRECIOUS

Ty ty ^-^

~ ^-^ anon

So there were a lot of prompts here XD I couldn't figure out how to get Mare to say them ALL so some of them, you say to him. Prompts are also super out of order, to form a more coherent story. I have also bolded all the quotes so you know when and where those prompts are :3

Thank you so much for requesting, I'm sorry it took so long to get around to >.> But I hope it was worth the wait!

Tw; angst and some swearing but it all turns into fluff

For some reason…Mare was acting differently. You’d been together for months, and were friends for even longer before that. You couldn’t explain it, but he seemed…empty. He smiled, yes. But it never reached his eyes. When you would go in for a hug, he’d stop you. He wouldn’t even kiss you! That was the biggest key in that something was horribly wrong. 

He was who knows where, and you were sitting at home trying to think of what to do. It had been a couple days since you saw him, and not so much as a text. You’d been hiding away in your home, wondering if you did something wrong. You wanted to help him if he was struggling, but you couldn’t if he didn’t tell you why he’s been so distraught. 

Deciding to send a text, you made up your mind and took a few minutes to figure out what you wanted to say. ‘Hey Mare…you know you can tell me anything right? Are you okay? It’s been days…I’m worried about you.” It was simple, but maybe he was just stressed? You hoped he’d be alright, but if anything you wanted to be there for him. 

Throughout the day, you sent him a couple more texts. All met with silence. Something was definitely up, and you were determined to get to the bottom of it. Even after a few calls, you were met with nothing each time. One last time ‘If you’re busy that’s fine…but I know something’s wrong. Please talk to me?” You almost wanted to cry, not out of your own sadness. But out of love. Because the one who had your heart was going through something big and you didn’t know what. 

Your phone buzzed, and you quickly checked to see it was Mare. However…it wasn’t his usual dorky or even flirty self. He usually sent you paragraphs at a time, and several messages at once. This one was short and cold. 

‘Stop texting me.’ 

You were baffled. Thoughts flooded and you worried about every possible thing that could be wrong. Did you do something? Something to make him this upset? But…everything was so good a couple days ago. Before he practically ghosted you out of nowhere. This was so random, you couldn’t even think of anything that might have made him upset. It was only more worrisome. 

‘You make it sound like I don’t care…But I love you.” Was the response you sent. Maybe your words would help him, and make him realize you’d always be there for him. His response was instant. As if he’d been waiting to say those words. 

‘No you don’t! Stop the fucking mind games!’ 

This time you really did cry. He was being so harsh, but why? A deep breath and you stopped your tears. Crying wouldn’t help in this situation. You had to get to the bottom of this. If you could help even a tiny bit, it’d be worth it. 

‘Come over. Talk to me. We need to figure this out.’ Was what you sent. You didn’t know if he’d read it. Given how cruel his words sounded, you half believed he was completely done with you. You didn’t want to think that way, but your overthinking brain couldn’t come up with other possibilities. Just thinking of the worst scenario. 

However only moments later, a familiar wave of smoke passed through your room’s door. Then Mare was standing in front of you with an expression on his face that can’t be described as anything but hateful. It made you recoil back, but you knew sometimes he needed some tough love. So you tried to look tougher than you felt. 

“Well? What?” He almost growled, but he reeled himself back a bit. “What do you want?” There was venom laced in his words, and you started to become even more confused. 

“What’s wrong? You’re being hateful and I don’t understand why…if I did something wrong please tell me.” Your eyes were filled with concern, but that only seemed to make him angrier. 

He started to reach out, but he stopped himself. “It sucks because as much as I want to hate you…” He looked away, and went from looking angry to defeated. He looked at you after several seconds and finished, “I can’t.” He approached you this time, and pulled you close. 

He buried his face in your neck and sighed. “No one’s ever made me feel this way before…” He pulled back and put his forehead against yours. His look was finally back to something aside from anger. “It…scares me.” Mare confessed, and wrapped his arms around you. “Everyone expects so little from me and thinks I’m worthless, but you make me want to prove them different. Show them they’re wrong.” 

You hugged him, and kissed his nose. He did the adorable thing he always did, and wiggled his nose a bit at the action. “You already are so much bigger than the people who say you’re less…you’re kind, you care about the world and the people in it. Well…most of them.” You winked to try and lighten the mood and he let out a chuckle. 

He looked terrified after he laughed and he pulled back. “I…I shouldn’t have said all that. Shit…SHIT!” Mare wasn’t used to opening up about insecurities in any way, and a lot of people would believe he didn’t have any. You knew different, you always have. “I…have to go.” He turned around, but you reached out faster and grabbed his hand. 

“Stay…please?” It almost sounded like a whine, but you didn’t care. You needed him here with you. “I missed you…I want to talk. Help you figure out anything you can. And let you know I’m here for you no matter what. Anything you’re going through…we’ll get through…together.” When he turned back towards you he was met with the kind smile he loved to see on your face. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” He tried to hide it, but tears welled up in his eyes. “I can’t provide for you like I want to…I’m practically useless to you. You should expect better from me, and you deserve that but I…can’t help it.” Without even realizing it, he squeezed your hand back tightly. He was so scared to let you go. “I don’t deserve to love you.” 

You tilted your head, and smiled at him, guiding him to look into your eyes. “Why can’t you love me with no strings attached?” He looked shocked and you continued, “Without expectations. Without guilt, or worry, or insecurities. If I say I love you…and you love me…fuck the world. We have each other. Forget all the bad shit they say about you, and listen to your heart.” You gained a small bashful smile, “If your heart wants me then that’s all that matters.” 

He looked away again, only to be guided back to you, “There’s better people out there…I love you so fucking much, but I don’t get how you can love me. I can’t offer anything-” Mare started when you cut him off. 

“I don’t care. I love you and only you.” You held both his hands, and looked at him with determination in your eyes. “I don’t believe that there’s better people. You think you don’t offer me anything? Happiness. Something most important to almost everyone out there. You make me happy. More than anyone else in the world.” At his soft gaze, you smiled. It was the kind of smile that made him want to smile too. 

So he did, and he responded in a whisper, “I’ll never get tired of seeing you. Everything you do…I love it. You’re my everything. My world.” He meant every word, he felt almost silly for having such a mental spiral, knowing it could have been prevented had he just got over his pride and talked with you. He should have known better, but it seemed like his fatigue was starting to show. 

He sighed, and looked away from you briefly only to return his gaze. Mare almost shuffled in his spot, and decided to pull you into that deep and warm hug that he always did. Without meaning to at all, he yawned into your shoulder. You did notice him looking tired, but figured whatever was bothering him was keeping him awake. Now that you knew, you giggled softly and pulled back. He whined, and pouted at you once he could see your face. 

“Tired?” It was technically a question, but sounded a whole lot more like a statement. “Haven’t been able to sleep?” You looked at him sympathetically and cradled his cheek with your hand and rubbed under his eyes where the dark bags had formed. It was impossible to hide your worry, but it was far overshadowed by the care and love that was directed right at this man you loved. 

He leaned into your hand, and nuzzled it lightly as he shut his eyes. “I…sleep better when you’re in my arms.” It was a confession of sorts, and you knew it could be terrifying to say. Sometimes he was scared to make confessions that would make him look “weak” when he was already being vulnerable. 

You weren’t going to make him ever feel bad for confiding in you, so you grabbed his hand and led him towards the bedroom. He followed, and you wordlessly laid down with Mare. He pulled the blankets over you both, and let out an adorable yawn. He snuggled in close to you, and you heard him let out a big sigh of contentment. “I can’t believe…you actually want me.” It wasn’t in a negative or sad tone, he was just making a statement at this point. 

“Mare…you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’ll be here for and with you, through everything. I mean it.” You leaned more against him, and pressed kisses across his arms as they wrapped around you. “I’ll prove it to you…over time. But for now…you need some sleep.” You giggled, as you held each other as close as you possibly could. 

It wasn’t long before you were almost asleep, yourself. It was just so comforting to be in his arms again. Though after a moment, he leaned close to your ear and whispered, “Thank you for never giving up on me.” You weren’t sure if he was intending to say that while you were awake or not, but it didn’t matter. Either way, you heard it. 

“I won’t give up on you. Not for a million years.” 

@serenitydusk @nerdqueenkat @thattiredanimator1t0mblr @viciouslyyearning