#and yeah I've been this way long enough that I'm starting to realize a perfectly cleaned home feels very sterile.

[cinna-bunnie]

hey younger ppl who grew up with strict parents, i want to share something really lovely with you that i didn't really learn myself until this year.

you do NOT have to clean ur house when u have guests over. like yeah pickup anything particularly embarrassing but have you not felt more welcomed, happy and cozy when you visited a friend's home and saw Stuff everywhere? is it not more inviting to enter a home that looks and feels very Lived In? do you not feel self-conscious about contributing to any sort of mess in a home so clean and organized it feels sterile?

Don't feel the need to keep this weird facade ingrained into us that your place needs to look perfect in order for you to hang out - just invite people over! Let them see what you're about, let the Environmental Storytelling™ do some work! i promise you it's very charming being able To See what you do and enjoy.

it took way longer than it should've for me to accept this and it's been GREAT. i don't dread the deep cleaning that having a guest used to entail because nowhere near that amount of work is necessary to hang out anymore - and I think everyone deserves to know that they don't have to work so dang hard for something that's really so so simple.

[juneberrie]

FROM THE START ✿ p. prabhakar

— confess i've loved you from the start . . .

-> angst to fluff, 0.8k words, fem ! hispanic ! reader

pavitr prabhakar had always been a ray of sunshine. he was always affectionate with his friends and family, always smiling and laughing.

it was that smile that made you fall in love first. the first day you had seen him, you were eleven years old. you had been sitting alone at recess on the swings, watching every other kid run around the playground. a boy had come up to you and smiled.

"do you want me to push you?" he offered. he looked about your age, with brown eyes and shiny hair that fell perfectly into place. your heart skipped a beat and you nodded.

as he pushed you, he laughed and asked what your name was.

"y/n," you replied. "i just moved here."

"really? that's so cool! i'm pavitr prabhakar, and i've lived here my whole life." you could practically hear the smile in his voice.

after that, you two had become inseparable. your family loved him and his auntie absolutely adored you. the two of you spent hours together working on homework, laughing at inside jokes, teasing each other out of love. it seemed that his love was more on the platonic side though, compared to the way you felt towards him.

it was as if every time he talked to you, cupid would waltz into the room, nock an arrow, and aim directly for your heart. there were times that you felt like you had to tell him how you felt. how the light catching in his eyes, turning them to melted gold, made you want to pull him close. how the way he laughed was so charming you were sure any fairytale princess would have ditched her prince for him.

and sometimes, sometimes it felt like he might feel the same. the lingering touches, the way he gazed at you, the way he always was there for you.

but soon enough you realized that the longing gazes weren't meant for you.

too often you glanced behind you to see her. gayatri singh. now, you had nothing against her. she had been partnered up with you multiple times for projects, and she was incredibly nice. she was caring and smart, and she was gorgeous. it seemed like the whole world knew it. including pav.

one night, the two of you were sitting on the roof of your apartment building, eating some empanadas your mother had made.

you and pav had been sitting in a comfortable silence for a while, chewing on the delicious food, when he swallowed hard and asked you something.

"you're good with advice, right?" he glanced at you, and your heart skipped a beat.

swallowing, you shrugged. "depends on the kind of advice you want."

he put his plate down next to him, and you could see him start to fidget with the hem of his shirt. "so. uh. theres this..." he paused, taking a breath and exhaling into the starry sky. "there's this girl."

it took every ounce of your willpower not to express your disappointment. "oh?"

"yeah," he chuckled softly. "she's... the most amazing person i've ever known. and you know, i want to ask her out, but... i don't know if she'd say yes."

your heart sank down into your stomach and kept sinking till it reached the core of the earth. "well, i mean, why wouldn't she say yes?" you forced yourself to smile and playfully nudged his shoulder with your own. "any girl would be lucky to have you, chamo."

"that's the thing. she's just so incredible and i don't think.. i don't think she feels the same about me. ever since i met her i've had this big crush on her... she's so freaking pretty and smart and witty and kind and just." he sighed, reaching up to tug on a strand of his hair, a nervous habit that he'd picked up when he was thirteen.

you blinked back tears. without thinking, you took a sip of your drink and blurted out, "it's gayatri, isn't it?"

his head whips around to face you, big brown eyes wide. "gaya- gayatri? no! why would i have a crush on her?" he stammered. "i mean, she's great and all but... she's not.. it's not her."

you turned away, staring down at the traffic below. cars filled up every inch of the road, lights reflecting off of all the surrounding buildings. "oh... i thought it was her," you murmur. you feel pav's hand cover your own.

"y/n," he whispers. "look at me." slowly, heart pounding, you turn to face him.

your lips are centimeters apart. your gaze flickered to his soft looking lips and back up into his beautifully dark eyes.

"it's you. it's always been you," he breathed.

"me?"

"you. from the start, it was always you."

[krafterwrites]

Rows Of Roses

All the way back in October 2022, I held a raffle to celebrate hitting 500 followers, and promised the winner that I would write a fic for them. It may have taken a long time to get back enough energy to write again, but I stuck to my word, and now I've finally finished making a fic based on the prompt that my friend @4filen0tfound4 gave me. Hope it was worth the wait

Summary: Amy invites Silver over to her garden, where he learns about the many meanings that different colors of roses can hold

Words: 2847

In the city of Station Square, Amy's home stood out a bit. Unlike the apartment she had moved out of some time ago, which was no different than the rest in terms of its exterior, this small house situated close to the edges of the metropolis served as a small beacon of greenery through its yard and the garden contained inside of it. Amy was waiting in that yard when she heard a faint sound slice through the typical ambience, an ethereal humming sound. A second later, what she had suspected to be the source of the noise hovered into view

"I'm here! Hope I'm not late," Silver said as he dispersed the field of energy that had been carrying him and softly dropped onto the ground

"Nope, you're right on time," She reassured him. "Do you want anything before we start? I just got some tea from the store"

She gestured towards the front door of the home as she asked, and Silver couldn't tell if this meant she had planned to have a snack before they started, or if she was just being very inviting. He did really want to get to gardening right away, since he knew it would be fascinating to learn more about the plants of the past from someone who knew a lot about them, but he didn't want to accidentally mess up her plans after she'd been nice enough to invite him over. He hadn't known Amy for as long as her other friends, but she had always been just as sweet to him as everyone else during that relatively short period, so he decided that something little like this didn't matter

"I'd like to start right away, if that's alright," He told her with a slight bit of uncertainty. "Tea does sound great afterwards, though"

"Sounds good to me," She answered, beginning to turn and move towards the back of the plot's land

Silver internally relaxed a bit, and then began to follow Amy as she walked to her garden. The walk was very brief due to the small size of the yard, but even so it was still pleasant because of the perfectly maintained grass, and the perfect weather that was looking down on it. Once he had caught up with her, his eyes were caught by the centerpiece of the place. Laid out in a rectangle formation were what must have been at least a hundred roses, not just red, but in all sorts of new colors that he didn't even know were possible. White, yellow, green, even blue. The pretty display and the realization that even one of the few plants he thought he knew relatively well had so much more to it excited him a lot, which she noticed

"I see you like the roses I planted," Amy said joyfully

"I love them! They're all so beautiful, I didn't know that they came in colors other than red," He exclaimed

"Oh, yeah, there's tons of different colors they can have. Most people just think about the red ones when they hear roses, so romance is commonly associated with them since that's the meaning the reds have, but each color symbolizes different things"

He was intrigued even more by this revelation than the previous one. Each of the differently colored flowers in front of them all had meaning to them, like hidden messages of some sort. He began to wonder if the other flowers he'd seen up until this point represented things as well, if they might have been giving him signs that he hadn't been aware of

"Can you tell me about all of them?" Silver questioned

"Well, there's a lot of colors here to go through, and they can each have quite a few things associated with them," She explained. "Why don't you pick out one for us to start with?"

He looked at the arrangement of flowers intently, and tried to think about which ones caught his eye the most. Yellow and orange were such great colors, they reminded him of the sun and how its light felt on his fur, and the flames that Blaze could conjure. However, after thinking about it for some time, Silver decided that the most interesting shade was blue. It reminded him of the ocean, and one of his most precious memories that had been made there

"What about those blue roses?" He asked

"These can symbolize uniqueness, or things that are impossible. It's like they were made for Sonic," Amy replied as she crouched down to the earth to get a closer look at them. "Heh, but that's just my opinion. What do you think of them?"

While the color of the flowers had immediately brought water into his mind, hearing about the impossible made him think of the fact that he was standing here in this moment, thinking about this at all. Not just because of the miracle of time travel, but also because of how harsh the world he'd been in for so long was. All it would've taken was for one of Silver's many near misses to have not been a near miss, and he never would've been able to see the past. Surviving for long certainly seemed impossible at the time, let alone changing the world. But here he was, able to relax, with his future no longer desolate. Telling Amy all of what he said verbatim would probably drag the mood down a little, so he decided to just state the last part instead

"It seemed impossible for things to ever change," Silver began explaining. "But once I was brought back here, I was able to fix everything. Now my future is just as beautiful as this place is"

"That's amazing to hear, Silver. It's good to know that even 200 years from now, this world will still be full of life," Amy complimented him. "Are the plants from your future anything like the ones here?"

"Uhh, I think so? I haven't seen too many from either time yet, so it's hard to know if anything I see is unique to that period or not"

"I see. Next time, you should describe some of your future plants to me, and I can tell you if they're ones that exist in this time. Maybe you could even bring one back, it would be fascinating to see"

"Oh, um, I'm not sure if I can, it could mess things up. I guess I could fix things even if they did go wrong, but-"

"No, you're right, I wasn't thinking about it. Let's get back to the flowers that are in front of us now, which ones are catching your eye?"

The green roses were the first ones that Silver thought of this time around, they almost looked like immature sprouts that hadn't finished growing yet, but they were the same size as everything else. A flower lacking the vibrant splash of color that it usually had at the top, and instead having the same color as its less treasured parts such as the leaves, had a lot of potential for interesting meanings. Plus, in the event that his thought about the green roses not being finished growing was true, it would lead to the just as interesting revelation that these ones would end up being much larger than all of the others

"What's up with the green ones?" Silver asked, phrasing it so that the answer would tell him which one of his assumptions about them was right

"They mostly mean life and abundance. Perfect for a day like this, right?" Amy remarked

He took a second to look up into the sky as well as into the street behind him, and saw that she was very right. Life stretched far past Amy's yard, it was in the skies above them as Flickies flew overhead, and in the streets behind them as people went about their day walking to who knew where

"Abundance… yeah!" Silver exclaimed. "That's the perfect word for what the past is like, there's so much stuff here. Every day I'm here, I see a bunch of new things"

"Did you see anything new today on your way here?" She asked

"I did! I passed by a bakery, and I saw these little colorful things that had cream in the center, and the outsides were kind of like little cookies"

"Oh, you mean macarons? Those are really good, did you get to try one?"

"I actually did, I asked the person eating them if I could have one, and they handed it to me. It was super sweet, I wish I could've had more, but I didn't want to be rude"

"Well, if you want to have more, we could always go to there ourselves and order some next time"

"That would be fantastic, I love visiting restaurants! It seems like there's infinite choices, and all of them are delicious"

"Yeah, the places here all have a lot on the menu, even I haven't tried all of them yet. Say, what's your favorite thing you've had so far?"

"It was this amazing apple pie I ate at a bakery. Back in the future, I ate a lot of old ration bars, the best ones were the apple flavored ones. The closest I ever felt to being in a natural world was when I ate one of them, but then when I had that pie, it was like experiencing that times a million. It was the first time I felt something familiar in a new way, instead of something completely new"

"Wow, if I'd only gotten to have things flavored like fruit my whole life before getting to eat the real thing too, it would probably have been as magical as you were describing. Did you have anything with the pie?"

"Nope. What do people usually have with it?"

"The most popular toppings are vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. It's actually kind of funny, since they're both like you"

"Huh? How are they like me?"

"They're both white like your fur, and they're both really sweet"

"Aww, thank you!"

"No problem!"

Since Silver was now thinking about things that looked similar to him, when he looked back to the garden after the conversation had died down, he immediately thought of the white roses. Like vanilla ice cream and whipped cream (supposedly), the petals did look a lot like his fur, he would probably be able to hide pretty well behind all of them if he needed to. While their potential hide and seek applications were fun to think about, Silver was also even more curious about what they could mean than he'd been about the other two. If they looked like him, would they have meanings that reflected him?

"What meanings do the white roses have?" He chose, silently beginning to get a bit excited as his anticipation grew

"These can stand for a lot of things, but some of the most prevalent meanings are innocence, loyalty, and new beginnings," Amy shared. "They're mostly used at weddings, but I think with meanings like those, they're good for a lot of events"

"New beginnings, huh?"

"Yep! I bet that makes you think of traveling back here for the first time, doesn't it?"

"How did you know that?"

"Oh, I just guessed based on what you've told me before. Good to know my guess was right!"

"Well, you only guessed half of it"

"Hm?"

"My other new beginning was meeting you"

The answer caught Amy off guard. She hadn't thought that she'd had that much of an impact on Silver, she just treated him the same way she did to everyone else. Knowing that her meeting with him was apparently so important that he considered it the start of a new chapter in his life made her feel a deep happiness, followed by a small bit of curiosity

"Really?" Amy asked, still a bit shocked

"It's true," Silver began. "The first person who I ever felt a real connection with was Espio, but since we were working together to save the future, I thought it was just because of our shared goal. But then, the next time I went back here, you saw me. You didn't know why I was here, or even who I was, but you were so nice to me… It made me realize the truth. Espio, Shadow, everyone else; they weren't being kind for the sake of the future, it was because they cared about me"

"Wow. That's… really something. I'm glad that I was able to help you"

"I'm glad about it too"

As Silver reminisced about the change that his meeting with Amy had brought to him, he was facing her, since he had just finished a conversation. However, since it was followed by a short period of silence while both were busy thinking about that information, his eyes went back to the flowerbed

It was just a default position at this point, since he had previously looked at it a lot in order to make his choices for rose variants to learn about. Spending time in silence instead of asking about that, though, made him notice a part of the rose other than their colors: their thorns

The first time Silver saw a rose, he'd grabbed it with his hand in his excitement, and it pierced through his glove into his hand. Even though it had drawn blood, it still had the same gorgeous appearance that had drawn him to it in the first place, so he chose not to leave it behind. Instead, he grabbed it gently with his psychokinesis, and carried it beside him as he walked and floated across the land

Everyone he'd met during his times chasing Eggman Nega, he'd been rude and harsh to at one point or another. While Espio was the only one who had brushed it off and followed him at the time, he had seen all of the others at later points, and they all seemed to at least tolerate him. Maybe it was because they had been told he wasn't actually that bad by Espio, or maybe it was because his urgency during his first time saving the future had faded, and no longer forced him to push everyone out of his path. Maybe it was both

Suddenly, Silver snapped out of his thoughts when he realized that Amy had moved over to the garden in front of them again. Unlike last time, though, she was plucking a rose from the dirt instead of just looking at them. It was yellow, close to his bracelets and eyes, although not exactly like either of them

"Oh, you're picking them now? That's fine, I wanted to hear about the yellow ones next anyways," Silver said as Amy turned around to face him, slightly confused

"I'm giving it to you, silly!" She explained as she stretched out her arm for Silver to take it. "Yellow roses symbolize friendship. You looked so happy seeing all these roses here, so I figured this would be a great gift for you"

"You'd… really do that for me? We're friends?" He asked, sounding very touched

"Of course we are! I know we haven't known each other for so long, but every time we talk, it's so enjoyable. You just have so much love for this world, and you share it with everyone you're around. Whenever you talk about how amazed you are by something I see everyday, it reminds me of just how great this place really is, of what I fight to protect"

Silver didn't respond verbally at this point, as he was a little overwhelmed by just how kind Amy had been to him, but tears welling up in the corners of his eyes showed he appreciated it very much. Remembering the lesson he had learned before, he held his hand forward and gently encircled the flower with his psychokinesis, lifting it out of Amy's hand and bringing it close to his side

"Thank you," he managed to choke out. "Thank you so much. I'm going to take the best care of this as I can"

"Maybe you could even start your own garden someday," Amy suggested.

"That would be fantastic," He replied, before turning to look at the lone plant. "But for now, I've got to take care of this"

"I understand. It was great hanging out with you today, hope I can see you again soon!"

"Me too. Bye, Amy"

"Bye, Silver!"

With that, Silver flew off similarly to how he had arrived. Amy was left in her yard next to the garden that she had just taken her gift to Silver from, and thought about the future. There was no way she'd be alive to take care of it in Silver's time, so it would likely have disappeared long before then. However, even if the garden she was standing next to would eventually fade away, she knew there would still be one like it 200 years from now. A very beautiful, and very yellow, garden of roses

[tangibletechnomancy]

The thing is, I 1000% acknowledge and respect that a lot of art communities have damned good reasons to be wary of AI, because a lot of commission economies - especially furry and furry-adjacent communities - are already constantly, CONSTANTLY under fucking siege by assholes who hear of their reputation for being willing to spend a lot on commissions and try to muscle in on the action while actively showing disdain for the communities they're blatantly trying to exploit for that sweet sweet "freak" money. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard someone who has ZERO respect for furries - thinks they're all a bunch of freaks playing chicken with zoophilia, treats furries as a punchline in that kind of way that sounds like they might be in on the joke but when prodded further you realize no they're really not - say "hmm maybe I should learn to draw furry art, that pays well", well, I would have enough money to commission actual furry artists.

It fucking sucks. It's an eternal frustration to be surrounded by a bunch of fucking assholes trying to milk your community for money while still pointing and laughing at you like you're some kind of sideshow attraction, taking your money and then calling you a freak in the next breath, but they GUESS they could DEIGN to claim to respect you because you pay so very well. It's cruel and shitty and should not be abided, and it's painful that there's no real way to protect a community against that kind of behavior other than essentially playing whack-a-mole as long as you're there and concerned about it - and AI art absolutely does have the power to enable these assclowns, because before AI, these types had to do a lot more work to learn to draw some new subject matter, do studies on what makes it tick and what the community values about it - AI dramatically lowers the skill floor to get a passable result, and while this is a huge positive from most standpoints...well, most of the time, through the process of doing these kinds of studies, your typical greedy asshole will realize that oh shit, there actually IS work involved in this and unique skills and a community that's not just a bunch of gullible freaks but PEOPLE with inner lives as rich as your own and either find some passion for a community they once felt that disdain for, or just balk at having to ACTUALLY work for it and burn out before they even get off the ground; AI is not SO easy as to eliminate this completely but it may make it more likely that these types could get a foot in the door and...essentially Funko Pop-ify even custom art. We already see people trying it in certain adoptable communities and it fucking sucks.

This is why I'm 100% comfortable with, and even tentatively encourage, sites and events geared toward communities frequently targeted by this kind of assholery banning AI art - I have my reservations about it as a long-term solution, as it's only going to get easier and easier for people to just lie (and this is why a huge aspect of my personal approach to keeping things as ethical as possible is to be as transparent as I can be about my processes) and AI is commonly used as an accessibility tool, but at the very least in the short term I see those policies and usually my first thought is "yeah that is absolutely, completely, perfectly fair."

I just wish I was better at finding an appropriate time and place to point out to people who are taking those concerns to the level of outright lying or otherwise blaming the tech more than the assholes, that There Are Many AI Artists Who Hate Those Types As Much As You Do And There Are Many Other Approaches To AI Art. When I started this blog, I, too, thought I was nearly alone in my desire to see AI tech used ethically, for both accessibility and its own unique features as a medium, and I've rarely if ever been happier to find out I was wrong. If there's one emotional skill I wish more people had, it is this - please...learn how to be happy to have been wrong when a situation turns out to not be as bad as you thought it was.

tl;dr: It's not wrong at ALL for people to want to protect their community from people who just see them as a crowd of walking ATMs. If you're looking at AI somewhat favorably because you see it as an easy way into those communities for their commission money, you're a piece of shit and I hope you break your fingers so badly you can't even type anymore, let alone noise paint, which you're gonna have to do if you want to get a result to exact specifications.

Just, if you're in one of those communities...please don't invent, and try to stop spreading misinformation about the tech, because the collateral damage is...A Lot.

[siriuslytproblem28]

time has come. i finished crimson rivers.

this is gonna be a long one, and i don't mind if I'm the only one who's getting to its end, I'm writing this for me.

the thing is, i started reading it not being able to conceive just how devastatingly beautiful it is, everything about it. i saw people on tiktok freaking out, and the fact that it's a thg AU really caught me off guard, I'm a huge fan of the books and the movies, ever since i was a child (about 9 years ago) and I'm fairly new with jegulus (i only read like half of choices and some other tiny fics) but i don't know how to explain just how this masterpiece got me tight on a chockehold.

but then, it came to me, in the last chapter.

It's about hope. yeah it's s about growth too but that only comes with hope. everything around this is hope. i get it now.

in a way, i feel like I've grown with it too. i surely hoped to. it's different than anything I've ever read. not only cause it merges some of my favorite characters, stories and scenarios, or because it's sad and angsty and I'm dramatic, or because everyone was reading. it was because of that as much as it wasn't.

usually when i read these things i wish for them to never end. i go at my own pace since they're usually finished for months or even years and i take my time, stretching it as far as it goes, binging when i feel like, and it becomes an experience, my experience, playing with time and spending every day with the characters until i wake up and go to sleep thinking about them and pray not to find spoilers on the internet. I'd strech and stretch cause I've never been good at goodbyes, always hate them, the reversible and the irrevocable, but this time... it's weird...

i could read anything by zar and LOVE it no matter how long, I'd drink the words until i choked and spit them out just in time to take another mouthful. I'd swallow some, too. like poison, like tea.

but it made sense that this had to come to an end. not cause it's set in over 3000 pages, i didn't realize it was long as i was reading it, as a long time fic reader, i guess i was just used to read and read endlessly, how it seemed at the time. but this, i understood, i could see it coming to an end and i was at peace with it, i got it, and i was even happy for it, not to get rid of it, I'll miss this forever and might reread it in a low point in my life to give me comfort (yeah i know loll but towards the end there's comfort ok?)

but it made me have a better relationship with endings and change in general.

I've been known to dwel. on people, on things, on the past, on stories, anything. i cling to things as long as there's a tip to grip and i struggle to let go. to make peace with endings. crimson rivers came at first like a continuation to my habits, fitting perfectly in the angsty, sad story I'm so passionate about. brutal, cruel and awful, destroying me internally, with things i would relate to and the things i wouldn't. as closer to its end as it came, it became the antithesis. i understand why it had to end, i even agree, of course I'd read 75 more chapters but i don't feel the need to as much as i don't feel the need to know every detail about reggie and James's wedding.

I'm usually atractted by unsaid things, whispered kisses, silent words hung above those who kept their mouth shut when they shouldn't have, when speaking up would gain them time, precious and non conforming time.

but in cr the unsaid is said in so many ways, it's sang and screamed and still i found crevices between the realm of real and inagined words to foster my own thoughts and interpretations on the characters, on the story itself. i found myself bookmarking soooo many scenes and wanting line after line engraved in my mind, tattooed in my bones.

it's the most beautiful story I've ever read and i realized in the last chapter that it's about hope. right during regulus' dream, when evan says "is it not good enough that it has been you?" referring to regulus projecting evan in his dreams to counseling him, while all evan ever said to him might just have been regulus saying to himself. and then i was like "oh".

it was always about hope for me. regulus hoping james would see him, notice him, regulus hoping his name wouldn't be called, james and reggie hoping sirius would survive, regulus hoping to have his brother back, james hoping sirius would overcome his addiction and his trauma after the arena, james hoping he could ever have a chance with reggie, sirius hoping to be close to regulus again, and much later, hope for their love, the three of them, sirius building a bookshelf because he hoped james and regulus would eventually make it, james giving reggie his flowers hoping to make his day better, Reggie getting the flowers hoping someday he would invite james in...

i saw myself in regulus so much, that for the first time it really hit me how much i kin him, and i saw myself in james too, which is new to me, but only in a sense of being absolutely in love with someone and thinking they would never want you back, except for me they won't. but to love with such devotion, such hunger, i feel that, it connected me with this james in such a strong way, as i too would take anything this person would give me, the good and the bad.

i don't wanna spent too much time on more technical things like the world building, narrative, politics etc because i think we can all agree that it was perfectly done, full of complexity when it needed. i wanna focus in what i felt.

i love wolfstar here, i think it's the most healthy I've ever seen them, despite everything they went through. and I'm not saying this as the type of person who doesn't like atyd wolfstar because they're "toxic", i love atyd exactly for being so realistic in a sense that they're both traumatized kids in the 70's. of course they don't deal with shit the way we would know how to deal a little better now. i just think that they journey it's so beautiful, and it's about hope to, hope to have 5 more minutes together, hope to see them the next day, and eventually, every year, taking all they could ever get even if it meant only seeing each other once a year. and they eneded up with everything they deserved. a home and a family to fill it up with. it just makes me soooo fucking emotional.

I'm trying to close things here so this doesn't become like a huuuuge post, so i wanna state that I'm amazed at the character development throughout the fic, especial when it comes to their traumas and such. like, reggie coming from such deep denial towards his love for james, up to the point he thought he could kill him, to admiting his love eventually, to be willing to step in a crimson river to die a horrible death to save him, to admiting his love in his own ways, to propose without james even noticing HELPPP, to literally having the 4 kids he wanted ever since he was a kid. him being able to let evan go too, honoring barty with the forge, mending his relationship with Sirius omgg thatt

i love how the story isn't just about the couples, the romantic love, i adore family dynamics, and sirius and reggie here, omggg they made me cry soo fuckinh much... i find sibling relationships so interesting maybe cause i spent 13 years being an only child, and now i have a 6 year old half sister who doesn't live with me, so i don't get to see her daily and we have the age difference. so like, i know we won't have the same dynamic as siblings living together or closer in age, and honestly i sometimes get scared we won't be close, or that i don't know how to be a big sister cause i still haven't had too much experience at it. but i also feel this need of protection towards her, especially cause she lives with my dad, which is... not a good person to be around, to put it bluntly. and i want her to have me as someone she can trust, i want to help her having to endure my dad and i want her to grow up in a better, healthier way than i did. so yeah, i relate to sirius and Reggie's story here as much as i don't...

and sirius and james friendship>>>>>>>> I've been a sirius kinnie ever since i got into the marauders fandom in 2020, and i have a james in my life, so their bond is really special to me, quite the embodiment if sunshine

remus here as well>>>>>>>>

i know i focused mainly on sirius, reggie and james but honestly i could spent days writing only about those three so i really can't be mentioning everyone else, I'll just say that i don't think any fic made me fall in love with as much characters as this one, even those i didn't know or didn't have their image clear in my mind from canon/other fics.

to close things up, i love how the narrative circles around itself, in the last few chapters things comes full circle, like reggie thanking Sirius for volunteering for him, which was the very core of regulus anger and guilt, so it shows how much he's grown, also when he says to aberforth that "my brother's responsible for his actions as i am for mine" or something, so finally seeing that he isn't responsible for everything bad in sirius life; sirius learning to have a healthy relationship with sex and his desire, remus and lilly making their way back to each other, two hearts beating, one person, james fucking knife kink FINALLY my boy had his way, i found it sooo cute and funny that reggie was trying to "protect" him hiding the daggers LMAOOO, sirius building again, james releasing the horcrux hornet into nature again after so many years, THE FUCKING "YOU'RE HESITATING LOVE" 😫😫😫😫😫 i swear, i thought this fic would be the death of me but it might've just saved my life...

like all the metaphors, all the elements that appear throughout the story to bear meaning and to signify something important, it enriches it soo much, james' flowers, the tree, regulus climbing and growing, the blood and the crimson river, the knitted hat, the snow, the rain, the fire, the fireplace, the bookshelf, the moon, the stars, ughhhh i swear to gooooooooooodddddddd the worst and best parallel, aberforth and albus are what regulus and sirius might've turned into. i am devasted by this, so i won't comment on it. for now.

i think this is it. I'll be forever grateful to zar for writing this masterpiece that changed and saved my life, and consumed it, filling my mind ever since october, and for getting to finish now with everyone. i swear i wanna print and bind this just to have it phisically.

I'll be making a playlist for cr and listen to it every time i miss it ❤️ this was a beautiful jorney, but I'm at peace with it ending now. thank you, zar, i will proceed to rear every other fanfic you wrote and will write.

[aeriedwelling]

🏳️‍🌈👻🫂👽💤 forrrr whoever you're brainrotting about right now :] (there's a fish guy you like... i don't know the fish man personally but I know you like the fish guy /lh)

i was like. fish guy?? which fish guy...? i've been reblogging a lot of grian art but you know gr- OH WAIT YOU MEAN GILLION YEAH I CAN TALK ABOUT HIM !!

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

Gill: mans is CANONICALLY ASEXUAL BAYBEEEEE - i attach aro to him (because i'm aroace and i like projecting) but i would also accept bi/panromantic !

Chip: bisexual (he is unaware of this fact)

Jay: biromantic lesbian !!

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

Chip and Gill are both afraid of being left behind or abandoned but they'd never admit it

Chip and Jay are both afraid of losing the things they care about

I think they're all at least mildly afraid of drowning considering all three of them have almost drowned before,

and all of them are afraid of not being good enough in one way or another

Chip is afraid of the dark. to me <3

🫂 A friendship headcanon

ough. Gill wasn't allowed to make friends on account of being the Chosen One so he doesn't have like. any. until they start sailing together. he gets attached to people so fast and doesn't realize they might not feel the same way. commits himself 100% to friendships

Chip didn't like making friends for a long time cause he thought he was going to lose them. he's slowly losing that fear but it's a hard one to shake

i am having such a hard time coming up with anything for Jay that isn't just. "jay has friends". idk??? she can make friends??? she knew a bunch of regulars at the tavern before she left and she has friends from navy school and she makes friends on their adventures she's the most normal about friend-making out of the three of them????

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there

Gill doesn't canonically have a tail but he totally wags his tail when he's happy. he's like if a dog was a fish.

Chip absently flaps his hands a lot and also likes to drum on things

there's that one post about like "unloading and reloading a gun perfectly but that's just how i stim" and it's so incredibly Jay Coded to me

💤 A headcanon about their sleep

i have zero headcanons cause canon is already so good. gill sleeps in a barrel. chip snores SO LOUD i forget the exact quote but it was described as "it's like someone starting up a chainsaw but it's just like, not happening," and i dont remember if jay does anything. she seems like the kind of guy to nest with a million pillows and blankets (oh look at that she's me)

[cheeryraccoon]

Maybe I Already Have - Illinois

More of an adventure type with fluff sprinkled in.

-------------------------------------------------------

All your life you wanted to be adventurer. You lived for adrenaline and longed to discover something no one thought was real. When you were little, your father told you the story of the 'Temple of Ancient Monkeys'. Your mother said it was a myth but you knew it had to be real.

You're in your twenties now and finally saved enough money to go on the adventure you always wanted. You took a plane to where the temple should be located. You were more than prepared with maps, food and water, rope, and other essentials. You knew when you went home, your family would be so proud of you. You landed a few days ago and were currently walking and looking at your map in the middle of no where.

"It should be right here- woah!" Just as you looked up, the ground beneath you gave way.

Luckily, you survived the fall without a broken bone or a scratch. You got up, dusted yourself off, and looked around. You were trying to take in the fact that you found the temple you've been searching for when you saw a giant round boulder start to roll towards you. You jumped out the way just in time for it to roll by. When it passed you saw a handsome man behind it. He had black hair and stubble on his face. He was wearing an adventure outfit a bit like your own and a matching hat.

"Hey, you alright there?" He asked, wiping some sweat from his brow.

"Uh, yeah! I'm fine." You answered, shaking your thoughts away.

"Huh, how'd you find this place? Only the most skilled adventurers ever get this far. It seems you're pretty special, huh?" He said, his voice was very smooth. It sent a chill down your spine.

"I don't know about that, I'm guessing you're an adventurer as well." You mentally face palmed, he wouldn't be here if he wasn't!

"You are right, I've already found the statue that's meant to be put here." He pulled a beautiful monkey statue out of his bag and handed it to you.

"It is a beauty. Don't look it in the eyes for too long though, they say-" You cut him off.

"I know, the curse." You said as you looked at it in your hands, avoiding looking into the eyes.

"Hm, you're a smart cookie. Y'know, I've been in need of a new assistant after the last one got ran over by a giant boulder. What do you say? We can finish this adventure, maybe even fall in love."

Your heart skipped a beat.

"Sure, but I'd prefer the word 'partner' than 'assistant' if we're gonna do this together."

"Fine by me, you hold onto that and follow me." He smirked and turned down a tunnel in the cave.

You put the statue in your bag and followed him, taking in your surroundings as you go.

"The names Illinois, pleasure to meet me. I know what you're thinking," He winked at you. "Yes, I am single."

"Good to know", you thought.

"But I'm married to the job and my assistants never last too long. Quite frankly, I do hope you stick around. You are quite handsome and/or beautiful." He smiled at you and you smiled back.

"How long have you been adventuring?" You asked before you realized you were about to walk into a trap.

"Hey, don't worry about the traps. They always seem perfectly timed to miss you if you're going at a casual walk. I think they count on people panicking and jumping around. Follow my lead, and don't take your eyes off me." He said in an assuring tone.

You followed his lead through the traps, doing as he said. His eyes sparkled in the light of the blowtorch that fired next to you.

"Good job, you got through." A skeleton popped out of no where with a sword as he finished his statement. "...Alright."

You walked out the cave and almost squealed as you saw the podium in the middle of the new cavern you were now standing in. You made it! All your life has come up to this! Your dream will finally be achieved!

"Well well well, here we are. Y'know you've been an incredible help on this adventure and I can't help but thank you. Would you like to do the honors?"

You nodded excitedly and took out the statue. You walked up to the podium and carefully placed it in it's rightful place. Out of no where, it started glowing blue. In an instant, you were transported to a beautiful jungle.

"I've seen a lot of animal heavens in my day. Lion heaven, dog heaven, bee heaven." Illinois stopped in his tracks and looked at you. "Bee heaven was not a fun place. But this, this is pretty alright."

You nodded and watched one of the monkeys come up to you. The monkey bestowed a glowing banana to you. You nodded thankfully before you were sucked back into the temple.

"Wow, that really was something." Illinois said, looking back at your surroundings.

"This is what my whole life has led up to... I finally did it! Did you get anything?" You examined the banana with wonder in your eyes.

"Oh, you got a banana? All I got was this rock. Not all animal heavens are winners, I suppose." He gave you the rock.

Once it hit your hands, the outer shell broke into sand and gravel. It revealed a beautiful diamond. You started peeling the your gift and inside was a fully gold banana. You looked at Illinois and smiled.

"Thanks for the adventure Illinois, you really helped my dream come true." You said as you put your new fortune into your bag.

"It was no problem, now you get to find a new dream." He responded while turning to leave the cave.

"Maybe I already have, Illinois."

"Smooth. Would you want to... further accompany me on more adventures?" He asked a bit shyly, which was out of character for him.

"Hm... more adventures sound lovely." You respond with a skip in your step.

Illinois threw his arm over your shoulders and you two walked out of cave, excited for what your next adventure has in store.

[gnattyplayssims]

1954 Pt2 - Recovery

The months after Jamal rescued Sofia were a time of healing. For weeks she was so stiff she could barely move and at night the nightmares wouldn't stop until Jamal climbed into bed and soothed her back to sleep. During that time she never once left the house.

By the time Sofia was feeling well enough to start taking care of Ava again, Jamal had already settled into a routine with her. He'd quickly discovered she was a picky eater and would only eat cereal which was all she ate until Sofia was well enough to fight her on it.

"Ava don't play with your food, you need to eat it or you'll be hungry later."

"No! Don't like it. It's yucky!"

"It's not yucky, you liked it yesterday. Would you like to try some of mommy's breakfast?"

"Yeah!" Jamal chuckled as Sofia gave the rest of her plate to Ava.

"So I was thinking...I have the day off today and the weather is supposed to be beautiful...why don't we go to the park?"

"I don't know."

"Sofia, Parched Prospect is a long way away from Skyward Palms. You haven't been out of this house in months."

"Park!"

"See Ava agrees."

Sofia agreed reluctantly and slipped into the bedroom to stand before the full length mirror. The scars on her legs had dulled but she knew people would see them. Don had marked her in ways she'd never be able to erase. "You okay?"

She sighed, "Maybe I'll just wear pants."

He moved behind her putting his hands on her hips, "Don't you dare."

"People are already going to be staring because of my eye, What if they think you hit me?" She took a shaky breath, "I used to be beautiful."

"What are you talking about? You're still breathtaking."

He traced the scar on her leg, his other hand moving to places she hadn't been touched in months. "Would you be angry if I asked you to stop?"

"Why would I be angry? I can control myself, I'm not a monster."

"I've only ever known monsters."

"I won't become another one."

Jamal was right, it was a beautiful day but Sofia could hardly enjoy it. "You alright?"

"You sure it's safe for me to be outside. What if someone here works for Don. He used to have me watched all the time. What if he's just waiting for the right moment. What if-"

"Sofia! If you want me to take you home I will. I can bring Ava alone. She needs the fresh air and so do you but if it's too much for you we can just play in the yard."

"No...I'm okay. You're right this is a big world and Skyward Palms is a long way away. I'll be fine."

"Ugh look at you, you got yourself so worked up you're sweating buckets. Come here." He tucked her under his arm. "I've been scoping out this park for months, I even know the vendor. I have no intention of letting you get hurt again. Ava will be perfectly safe playing here."

Ava had gone to investigate the tunnels but upon realizing that Sofia and Jamal had fallen behind she came crying and begging to be picked up. "Alright Baby Girl let's go check it out." Jamal scooped her up and she immediatly calmed as he carried her to the playground.

They stayed until the sun started going down. Ava loved the tunnels. "Ava how many rocks do you see?"

"One, two, three....SEVEN! I SEE SEVEN!"

Once they got home it was time for a bath and bed. Ava didn't sleep well, so Sofia read to her until she fell asleep.

A few hours later Jamal found her sitting on the bed, staring out the windows. "Hey why aren't you sleeping?"

"I can't sleep."

"It doesn't look like you tried. You're all sweaty again."

"I thought I saw something but...it was just a bird."

"I've told you these windows are one-way, no one can see you in here. Not even the birds."

She nodded "I know." She grasped his hoodie pulling him closer, he didn't fight it letting his desire for her fill him as their mouths moved together, his fingers tangling into her hair

He was so gentle with her as he traced her birthmark, trailing his mouth down her neck and began to tip her back.

She gasped and he pulled back. "Don't stop!"

"Did I hurt you?"

"I'm still just a little sore. I think it's just from being at the park all day. I'm not used to it."

"Let me help." He helped her out of her shirt and she lay on her stomach.

"Don never did anything like this. It was always about his needs."

Jamal traced her bra strap before realizing what he was doing and moving to her neck. "Sofia, I think you should go back to Copperdale."

"What?!" He kissed her shoulder gently and she rolled over, "Do you not want me here anymore?"

"Oh no baby that's not it at all." He stroked her face gently. "But having you here...sleeping in my bed, using my shampoo, making me breakfast...I need some space to clear my head."

"What if I'm ready?" She pulled him down into another kiss. He let her pull him in like a siren. He knew she wasn't ready but she was so inviting. She'd been trained for this, conditioned to believe it was the only way to keep him. Even knowing that he moved lower.

He explored her slowly, enjoying the smoothness of her legs where they weren't scarred. She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him encouragingly but it was enough. She wanted to stop but didn't want to disappoint him

"I..I think I should sleep on the couch tonight."

She wrapped her arms around him trying to get him to stay. "Sofia, Let's get out of Oasis Springs. I want to meet your parents. We can go for a visit and then you can decide."

"I want to be with you."

But by the time the next morning came she knew he was right. She needed space.

1955 Pt1 - Reunion

[primordialangels]

Howdy!

Hey there everynyan....! I just wanted to say, I'm moving accounts...!!

Yes, you read that right! I have had this tumblr for 10+ long years, and I've finally decided to live my true 90s/00s dreams and disconnect almost completely from social media, haha. Here are some reasons for this shift under the cut. Thank you for reading if you do, and peace out! ☆

I realized recently that I have never taken a real true break from tumblr, and that I've been on here now every week of my life for a literal decade-- Since I was like 13 or so! Which is just, like. Crazy. I just think my brain deserves a break, yanno what I mean?

Because while I was on this road trip away from everything online, I realized just how wonderful the world can be when you're not constantly comparing yourself to everything online-- Especially artistically!! And I wanna say this too-- even if you tell yourself, "I'm not comparing myself to all these other artists/sexy people!" Yes. Yes you are. You're doing it even right now I bet. Because it's a subconscious process human beings can't just turn on or off! It just happens on it's own wether we want it to or not! And I realized that becuz the ONLY time I felt artistically shitty on my trip was when I visited a comic book shop, lmao!! I thought "oh god I gotta get better, these guys are so fucking good" but like, I didnt even mean to! I didn't think I was comparing myself at all! But it was like, AS SOON as I saw other cartoonists. BOOM. instantly felt bad haha. So? That told me that I've been feeling that way near CONSTANTLY by being on social media ever since I was 13 years old!! That's literally insane. No wonder I can't "see myself" while others can! I've constantly been (subconsciously) putting myself down for not "being good enough" when in actuality, I'm perfectly fine just how I am! It was hugely eye-opening for me and made me really rethink my reason for using social media, and tumblr in particular since it's, ofc, been my favorite for such a long time...

And so when I started wondering what reason I have for using tumblr, n I realized that I've been telling myself, "I'm using it to gain artistic inspiration!"-- But like..... How much inspo do you need to gather until it's enough? I think I have enough inspiration on this account to use for the rest of my life, really!! lmao! So I want to actually start using the inspiration i've already gained instead of acquiring more n more n more of it, yanno? I just think it's like, lol... My head is full enough! Time to use what i've gained rather than continue to squander it! It's that sort of thing...!

And Ik we like to joke that tumblr is the anti-social media-- But... The sad truth is, it really isn't! I realized when I was meditating recently that all social media acts just like a slot machine. You pull down the screen and refresh and new fun stuff to look at pops up. And even tho yes, followers aren't a big deal here like they are elsewhere-- Tumblr is still no different, becuz it uses that same exact model, yanno? And so.... Yeah....! I just... Haha, idk. I wanna try n use the internet in a more classical way, is all.

So... Yeah! I just wanted to provide a bit of insight into my mindset rn idk, lol.

My new account is > AncientMachine (yes same name haha, I love it!) And on there I won't be reblogging much of anything. It'll just be text posts/my thoughts and feelings, maybe photography n doodles, manga caps, etc etc that sorta thing. A truly personal experience, I would say. So, if you don't feel like following a diary sort of blog, I totally understand, and I just wanna say thank you so much for the time you spent together with me here, especially within these past 2 years. Tumblr has been there for me when often times, no one else has. I've learned a lot by being here. And I think that's truly special, and I cherish this account with all my heart. I won't be deleting it, it'll stay up and act as my own personal archive-- but yeah...! I think it's time I finally move onto new horizons. I hope you'll join me on this brand new personal journey, but even if you don't, that's alright, and so long!! Have fun and good luck out there-- I'll see ya around! ☆

-- Lucky <3

[maybeamiles]

Zoro x Sanji QPR thoughts LET'S GO

(For anyone who doesn't know: QPR stands for "queerplatonic relationship" and is used to describe an intimate relationship where nobody involved has romantic feelings for one another)

It takes them a LONG TIME to actually talk about their relationship

It's not until wholecake Island that they both realize they actually don't want to leave each other

(Look, I haven't gotten to that arc yet, but from what I've heard it seems perfect for that)

Zoro is perfectly okay with Sanji dating anyone he likes, so long as he gets to be a part of Sanji's life

Zoro doesn't have any interest in dating

They're actually very physically affectionate once they actually work out their feelings. Lots of cuddling, lots of seeking out each other after a hard day

For a while Sanji thinks he's in love with Zoro

It's not until he thinks about what he wants in romance (someone he can worship) that he realizes his feelings for Zoro aren't romantic (he wants to be Zoro's partner)

Zoro considers himself "in love," but doesn't think about it long enough to realize it's not romantic love

He's just like, "Oh, I'm jealous of this girl who's gonna take away Sanji. Guess I'm in love." But he never wants to try anything traditionally associated with couples, so he doesn't do that, and thus it takes him a lot longer to realize his feelings aren't romantic

Sanji also has a lot of internalized queerphobia, which he has to get over in order to actually figure out the relationship

Zoro has no such issues

Their relationship is spent mostly in quality time together. Talking over plans, fighting bad guys, training, etc.

They're both very bad at talking about their feelings though, so even after they both realize they don't want to leave each other, it takes even LONGER for them to actually talk about it

Sanji starts the conversation when he gets a (new) girlfriend and Zoro starts acting jealous

"Look, I really like this girl, and I know you're jealous of her, but I want you to know I have no intention of leaving you. You are both very important to me, in very different ways."

"So you're in love with me too, stupid cook."

"Well- Yes, but not in the way I love- wait did you say too?"

"Yeah"

"How long has this been going on mosshead!?"

"A while. You're quite oblivious."

"Oblivious my ass"

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

I love Wind having master sword burns so so much, please give deets :D

*taps mic* I wrote that fic like, nearly a year ago, so I don't remember much, but I can provide a few details (most about the fic itself, as the whole "MS burns" thing is pretty simple

You can't wield the Master Sword if you do not have the hero's spirit. Zelda, however, as the descendant of Hylia, can wield it (which doesn't make sense to me but whatever)

This was actually before I hopped on the train of Four being Zelda’s cousin, I think, so really I was going for the descendant of someone with the hero's spirit also being able to hold it (to a lesser degree)

I've always visualized Wind's scars to cover his entire hand (hands?), like he laid it evenly on a sheet of hot metal, as opposed to like, just where the hilt touched him. No unblemished skin.

I started another fic about Wind without the hero's spirit (entitled as "ANGST HAMMER" in my docs, whereupon he used the Master Sword to kill Dark Link, and thus died himself) but never got more than a few lines (enclosed below, because I will probably never finish it unless a sudden bout of inspiration strikes. Be warned, it's quite old)

A detail only in that fic- Wind also has scars on his shoulder from where the hilt of the Master Sword rested

(Fun side note- those two are the only fics where my hc of "Blue becomes Edward Elric when his height is mentioned" is present)

This fic was intended to be a looooot angstier but somehow it ended up as a comedy. Writing Wind is just very fun and it's somewhat hard to take everything seriously from his pov

I looked up whether or not WW Link wore gloves to base the placement and extent of his scars on

The burns never got past, like, second degree. Most of the pain was like, a magical thing (the divine curse mentioned by Sun)

There's a running gag in my fics of a Link meeting another Link and calling them "Other Link", and here Sun does it as well (she and Sky are dumbass4dumbass)

This isnt relevant at all but someone made art of the scene where Groose picks up Wind and looking at it now, I just realized Sky is standing in the "you know I had to do it to em" (I think anyway) pose and I'd be upset but that's just so funny

Wind has always known he doesn't have long.

Ever since he pulled the Master Sword, he's held his lifespan in his hands, grains of sand spilling between burned fingers.

Was it not enough? To fight Ganondorf, blood from broken blisters slickening the Master Sword? To live every day in pain, sometimes not even able to do the most basic of tasks?

(He already knows the answer, has known it since the first day he drew the Goddess's blade.

It never will be.)

-

"Good thing the old man is here, right?" Wild says, nudging Wind's side and sending a jolt of pain through him.

Today has been a bad day; he'd woken up unable to curl his fingers in all the way, and his shoulder has been burning, only worsened by the hilt of his sword rubbing against the scars there.

"Yeah." He agrees, tuning back into the conversation. Sky had been demonstrating how his beetle worked, only to wedge it in between two branches out of arm's reach.

"Is it just a hero's spirit thing to be short?" Legend asks. "Time is the only tall one here."

"I don't know." Time says, ruffling Wind's hair. He tries not to wince at the jolt it sends through his already frayed nerves. "The sailor might still get taller than me."

Wind tries not to laugh at that; if Legend is right, then he really might be able to get taller than all of them, if the curse doesn't kill him first.

"I could still get taller." Four rolls their eyes.

"Yeah, right." Warriors scoffs. "You're even more of a shrimp than Wind."

"I'm not a shrimp! This is a perfectly normal height!"

"For a ten year old, maybe."

"I don't know." Legend says. "I think it's more like an eight year old."

-

-

-

He twists the blade into the Dark Link's chest, fire burning through him. It howls, clawing at him.

"Wind, no!" He hears Time yell.

He looks back, smiling. "It's what heroes do, right?"

[animebw]

Would you mind expanding on your Steins;Gate post? Because you’re completely right and I genuinely want to read your particular thoughts on it. I always struggle to talk about the show and articulate my opinions on why I have A Lot of issues with it, so I’m curious if we’re on a similar wavelength.

Eh, why not? I've got nothing better to do this evening, and I don't think I've ever talked about Steins;Gate on this blog before, so it'll be a nice change of pace. Spoilers below the cut, for those who care.

So my big problem with Steins;Gate is that once you step back from the exhilarating pacing and take a holistic view of the story, there's a lot about it that's just... incredibly goddamn stupid. And I don't mean stupid in a fun over-the-top way that knowingly embraces its own ludicrousness like, say, Symphogear. Nor do I really mean stupid in a "wow, this plot has more holes than a cheese grater and more contradictions than a Republican politician's moral outlook" way either. It's a time travel story, not everything's gonna fit together perfectly, I'm fine with that. No, Steins;Gate is stupid because it doesn't realize just how embarrassing a lot of its choices are.

Like, for just one example, take the reveal that Suzuha is Daru's child from the future. Sure, that twist works fine enough in a story sense, but then you have to deal with the fact that Daru's spent the last, like, five episodes perving on Suzuha and being a creep towards her. This is supposed to be a really emotional moment for both of them, but all it does is make you think about Daru trying to have sex with his own daughter, and it's gross. And the show doesn't seem to realize it! It just makes a single "lol Daru has the hots for his daughter" joke and then tries to play it as emotionally straight as possible! Like, do you not understand how off-putting this whole thing is?

Admittedly, it's been a long-ass time since I watched this show, so I don't remember many specific examples off the top of my head. But there's a lot of this energy all throughout it. Especially with Kurisu, who gets dealt the shit hand of being an ice queen tsundere who gets constantly humiliated to make her "loosen up." Look, I'm sorry to all the Okabe/Kurisu shippers out there, but this relationship is just not earned. Kurisu doesn't deserve to suffer these weird, creepy dudes making her uncomfortable until she finally falls for one of them.

And oh gods, where do I even start with Ruka? Even before I realized I wasn't on the gender binary myself, everything about Ruka's character and the way she's handled made me sick to my stomach. Hey, I know what's a good idea, let's have a trans character who's forced to give up her chosen gender! That'll go over great! And while we're at it, let's throw in some homophobia as well by saying that Ruka only likes Okabe romantically when she's "a real girl" and only respects him when she's back to "normal!" Oh, and here's a scene of Okabe LITERALLY MOLESTING RUKA TO THE POINT OF TEARS BECAUSE HE THINKS SHE'S A GUY! HAHA FUNNY! ASSAULTING TRANS PEOPLE IS FUNNY! ARE YOU LAUGHING YET?! WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?!?!?!?!

(god I've been bottling that rage up for so long FUCK this goddamn arc)

So... yeah. I still like Steins;Gate, but it can be a gross fucking show at times. And it's hard to stomach so many weebs holding it up as One Of The Best while either ignoring these problems or just not seeing them as problems in the first place.

Mayuri is perfect, though. I will hear no Mayuri slander in this house.

[evelhak]

Long personal rambling ahead, you've been warned.

I had a weird day walking around my high school city, it almost literally felt like going back in time, since it's been a long time since I walked in the places I used to, I've driven through it and gone to specific places but not like... wandering around the spots I used to spend time in as a teen. I was so surprised the corner of the book shop that I used to hide in was still there. It was always enough out of view so that I could browse books as much as I liked and sit there for hours without anyone noticing or asking anything.

Also I realized the spot at the mall where I cried my eyes out when I didn't get into a musical was exactly the same it was 12 years ago. It made me quite reflective and it got me thinking about my worst and best high school memories which now made me want to share one specific story... Because I've obviously mentioned many times already that I relate to Kuroko deeply, but I haven't really explained why. Not that people would necessarily even be interested, but my blog is like a weird diary anyway, so I'm just gonna tell this memory. Maybe someone will vibe with it.

It started with that musical. It was one of the things why I had chosen my high school (the other was to get a place at a Japan exchange, which I did succeed at) but yeah, I didn't get a role. I was told my presence was "too sensitive" like I wouldn't be able to fill the stage, be expressive enough and draw attention. It was totally fair by the way, but devastating to me at that age, because acting was something I had a real fixation about, and it wasn't even something I had long-term plans for, I had just got it in my head that it was something I needed to check out of my bucket list, no matter what, I wouldn't have peace unless I was in a "real" play once.

So, yeah, I did cry my eyes out because I had tried really hard and wanted it a lot, but after I stopped crying, the teacher's words just made me want to prove they were wrong. So, I decided to do a theater diploma with my friends instead, and the biggest part of it was to write, direct and act a play which would be publically performed. I was already a writer so that role eventually fell to me, which I was only happy about. We had already decided to do a murder mystery which I was so psyched about since I was in my most intense Sherlock obsession at the time. Anyway, I got this idea that since I could write my own role I could make it about my so-called weakness, actually I could write it in a way that the role could only be performed by someone like me who didn't stand out much.

No one had especially wanted to be the detective, so that was going to be my role, and then I figured I should have two detectives solving the same case. The other one would be a distraction to lead the audience astray. He would be loud, aggressive and boisterous and the narrative would support the assumption that he was the main character. His name was Mr. Forrest. And he was played by our most charismatic and talented actor. So while this flamboyant detective would be thinking out loud, explicitly solving the case, and engaging the audience, my character, Cherry, would be working in the background and having her own differing opinions, but they would be seemingly debunked by the other detective or the suspects, and the audience would think Cherry was too boring of a character to be important, since she was mostly just organizing stuff in the background (but of course all of those things were actually clues to the case) However, Mr. Forrest would eventually turn out to have been fooled by one of the suspects, the murderer, because he was attracted to her (because I was a faithful Sherlockian) and unbiased Cherry would solve the case.

I feel like this kind of thinking perfectly illustrates why I'm a writer, not an actor, heh...

But anyway, it worked really well, the audience was never able to see through the bluff, as far as I know. (Maybe once would have been nice, that would have proved my clues as coherent if you paid enough attention but oh well.) I can't pretend my favourite part wasn't when my character finally got the spotlight at the end and I got to explain how the murder was commited and expose the murderer. I think my favourite line was from Mr. Forrest, when Cherry would pull out a flipboard on which I had sketched a drawing of how the murder was done and Mr. Forrest would say: "So, you decided to pass the time by doodling a little for your own amusement? Ridiculous!" (Probably I found it so good because the actor nailed the tone.) And then of course Cherry would basically hand his ass to him when it came to solving the crime.

One of the others also had a habit of telling the audience after the applause that no one should ever make me mad because I would have been a good murderer. I guess that was funny, definitely stroked my ego a little.

I really had the best time in high school with that group. I'll never forget how in sync I was with the girl who played Mr. Forrest. I haven't done a lot of acting, but I have done a lot of dancing so I do know something about chemistry on stage and to this day I don't think I encountered anyone who I had it better with. It felt like magic honestly. She had trouble remembering lines sometimes and every time it happened she would instinctively look at me, and then I would always be able to make her look at an object that made her remember the next line. I was usually good with remembering, but on one occasion I forgot to say one tiny sentence that was key to the mystery, without it the next parts wouldn't make any sense, but the moment was already gone, and then Mr. Forrest's actor totally saved my ass by coming up with a new impro section to one of the character's monologues on the spot, and it covered up my mistake completely. I was really impressed by that because it required so much thinking in mere seconds to spontaneously add a whole new section to the story, but that just showed how in the moment she was. We weren't normally the closest personal friends (honestly she barely remembered I existed before we started working on the play even though we did hang out in the same circle) but on stage it was like we had one brain for a moment. I really wish I would get to experience that again some day.

Anyway, I feel like this also illustrates some specific things in an analogous manner about why I feel about KnB so deeply and relate to Kuroko. Isn't it funny how this memory is about acting on stage, since that's an analogy in KnB? Sure, this is just one memory but also one that doesn't feel too personal to share, so in case anyone was curious about why I relate to Kuroko I think this is a pretty good example because it covers a few key things, I think.

Also I just like to think about these happy times, so this was a good excuse to go back there. I'm always going to love that darkness of the stage and the magical feeling it brings and how many things performative art forms can do. Even as amateurs I think we impressed people quite a lot.

Anyway... If you read this far I hope it was at least mildly entertaining.

Haha, I actually saw one of my old friends from this play today, when I completely accidentally went to a store she was working in. Hadn't seen her in at least five years. She played a suspect who was an artist with about three brain cells.

Anyway, enough rambling, good night.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

hmm, since you've been talking about the vardy au, maybe another drabble where ellie ships lucian and hardy when they're still both obvlivious or in denial? *g*

Ellie knows what is up with these two long before either of them figure it out, and it's fantastic.

On with the fic!

--

Ellie was at her desk when she watched her boss and Lucian come walking into the office space, talking to one another in hushed voices. From what she could tell, Hardy was very irritated, but Lucian looked smug, like he had said something that really got under the vampire's skin.

Curiosity got the better of her, and she tried to listen while no one else in the office seemed to be paying any attention at all.

"It's different." Hardy whispered lowly from where he stood in front of his office door.

"It's not that different, not really." Lucian replied, just as quietly.

"Of course you'd think that," Hardy snipped, "what with your whole... acceptance thing."

This seemed to make Lucian look even more smug. "It is the better option, really. I've seen you do it before, remember? At that one crime scene, at the church."

"T-that's because it was inside, it's easier to figure it out from there!" Hardy's voice got a little louder, catching the attention from more officers. He seemed to notice the attention and glared at everyone. "What're you lookin' at, eyes on your work, people!"

Everyone but Ellie put their heads down and focused back at their tasks. She just smiled when Hardy shot her a look, then he entered his office. Lucian sighed, shaking his head, smiling just a little as he put his hands into his pockets.

"Did you two have a nice conversation?" Ellie asked, catching the lycan's attention.

Lucian scratched at his neck. "He doesn't seem to want to take my advice."

"That's perfectly normal." She motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen, it was a little more private there. "What's the advice?"

"I think he can try to pick up on scents if he bothered smelling more of the crime scenes."

Ellie made a face. "Lucian, no offense, but the crime scenes have smelled dreadful, even a vampire probably can't deal with it."

"Yes, but vampires can focus on specific smells if they focus hard enough. They're better at it than humans, though not quite like myself and my people. Still, I can't always be at the crime scenes right away, and I told him it would be best if he tried to see if he could smell any traces of vampire in the area."

"But he doesn't want to do that."

Lucian sighed. "No, and he's been stubborn about it the whole time since I asked. I think it will help, but he says that he doesn't like cheating, he likes doing the actual work."

Then she saw it, this charmed look in his expression. "He really wants to do this the hard way, the human way, doesn't he?"

His tone said it all, she had to wonder if Lucian even realized how he sounded. She just smiled as she prepared some tea for them both. "Oh, he always has to make things worse for himself when he knows he can technically cheat. I've seen him do it before."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, sometimes, when we interrogate people, he'll get this look on his face, and I swear I've seen his ears twitch. Subtle, like, you have to really pay attention, but he's picking up on something while they talk. And then afterwards, he'll tell me the suspect was lying and it's because he heard how their heart sounded. Idiot won't even listen to his own off-beat heart, but he'll pick up on someone else's if it's for work!"

She started the electric kettle. "And don't get me started on his whole 'I'm not smelling a crime scene thing', I know he's done it. I swear I've seen him sniff about, literally, when he's investigating a room. He's not as subtle and clever as he thinks he is, the dumb vampire."

She looked at Lucian, and that look was still there, plain as day on his face. She couldn't help the laugh that came out of her.

"What?" Lucian asked.

"You like hearing me talk about him, don't you?"

"What makes you think that?"

Ellie just smiled more at this. "Oh, I dunno, just... a feeling?"

She wondered if she should mention how Hardy would get a similar look on his own face when she mentioned stuff about Lucian that seemed to catch his attention. These two were smart, clever, but good lord were they dumb as bricks about one another.

Was this normal for monsters, or just these two?

[n7viper]

🎶 + Mihren, Mihri & Rylen, Lia & Garrus AND Lia & Tarquin oOoOOo I know you have multiple songs for everyone so I am choosing all of them

Send me a 🎶 + an OTP of mine and I’ll give you a song that reminds me of them.

Ohohoho so I actually didn't have any Mihri/Rylen ones (so why did I put their names there??), and I didn't have any for Lia and Tarquin either. But I have done some extensive research and have come up with some. I've got lyrics with these, so I've put everything under the cut to save everyone's dashes.

Mihren (Mihri & Cullen):

I mentioned this song the other day in another ask (not as an actual answer), but I'm gonna go ahead and use it anyway. As a note, I think the perspectives could change a bit for this song to fit them. Mihri wants to absolutely destroy him, not necessarily the other way around.

It's only just a crush, it'll go away It's just like all the others, it'll go away Or maybe this is danger, and he just don't know You pray it all away, but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight Lie still, close your eyes, girl, so lovely, it feels so right I want to hold you close, soft breath, beating heart As I whisper in your ear, "I want to fucking tear you apart"

Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do? Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school But their lips met, and reservations started to pass Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way, he wanted her, and this was bad Wanted to do things to her, it was making him crazy Now a little crush turned into a like And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

Mihri & Rylen

Not much to say about this one. She has, frankly, bewitched him. One of my favourite horny songs.

Her lipstick stains like acid rain Dissolving away my sense of restraint … Concealing the violence, I've been stung by the wasp So come to me No sense of restraint So come for me

Come with me and disappear without a trace Criminal, in how I crave the way she tastes I'm the rapture in her head when she attempts to sleep It's haunting, she kills me

No time or place to take it slow And my head aches but I refuse to go Her face as soft as snow She looks so lost but she feels like home

I will wait endlessly I will break you carefully So take me harmfully You fit so perfectly I will wait

Lia & Garrus

We've waited so damn long, we're sick and tired I won't leave any doubt or stone unturned I've got a collar full of chemistry from your company So maybe tonight, I'll be the libertine

Oh, show me your love, your love Give me more but it's not enough Show me your love, your love Before the world catches up 'Cause there's always time for second guesses I don't want to know If you're gonna be the death of me That's how I want to go

You've got it all worked out with so little time Memories that I'd black out if you were mine You've got a pocket full of reasons why you're here tonight So, baby, tonight just be the death of me

Lia & Tarquin

I have seen this used as an actual love song before, but I get missed opportunity/pining vibes from this. Lia and Tarquin are the FWB that catch feelings, but unfortunately they're both just too stupid to ever realize that they're both in love. And guess what? It doesn't matter because I don't do a Tarquin Lives AU :) Missed opportunities ahoy!

I'm a ghost in your eyes A shadow you can't seem to recognize I have a thought of you for every star in the sky But I'm scared, I'll never cross your mind Yeah, I'm scared

Will our stars ever align? Will two hearts beat in time? These words you should always remember To you, my heart I surrender Chasing love that can never be mine Maybe one day you'll realize These words you should always remember To you, my heart I surrender My heart I surrender

And I can't count the times I stayed awake pretending you were mine Now I'm left here with this emptiness inside Why can't I make you mine?

[gr1an]

(character-wise) joel and gem are such an interesting duo/couple like. on their own, no outside forces acting on them, they remain separate entities. interacting occasionally. but i feel like an outside stressor force could make them fast and strong allies.

we kind of saw this with the start of real life smp, with gem and joel kind of falling together bc she didn't do third life and joel didn't have allies in third life, and everyone else kind of just stuck with their original team-ups. and it's very interesting to think about how when joel was with her he like. he was very vulnerable just bc of how sick he was and she saw it and adapted immediately. he told her as soon as he realized he had a fear of heights and she, as far as i remember, didn't bring it up or tease about it again. and then when they separate he goes to jimmy's team. safe person.

in a stressful situation (i'm talking like. disaster level here. apocalypse.) joel falls into bad habits of pushing people away and acting above it all, and gem will not let him get away with that. she knows joels façade is a façade, and he knows that she knows this. she is also smart enough to know that confronting him about it in front of anyone other than maybe lizzie or jimmy is the fastest way to get burned by him being a bitch.

he's a very... nervous person. his defense mannerisms are like a cornered animal's, and he gets that way very easily. but once you understand that what you're dealing with is a cornered animal, you know how to approach the situation. so this is the first barrier to fall in their relationship.

and gem deflects like a goddamn mirror. it makes the second barrier of their relationship to fall, and it takes a long time to get there. because when you bring up how she's been working for days straight, she will look at you with perfectly done hair and a smile on her face and say "thanks for caring about me, i'm all good though! but i noticed you were struggling with terraforming this bit, can i help?" and almost make you believe that maybe her biology just works differently and she doesn't need sleep or rest. but she does.

and only people that are particularly stubborn (pearl, grian, and now joel) will ever be able to get her to do anything close to the resting part of self-care.

sorry this is kind of just a whole bunch of nothing other than comments about patterns i've noticed but yeah.