#anything close to it. ik my place. i know i will never 'get' that struggle. it's simply not the same for those of us who are white- or

[snekdood]

worst thing is when a white person who 'grew up poor' and maybe lived in the city temporarily starts to insinuate they're from the hood or whatever shit lmao

[jarondont]

Waiting for Love (part 4)

[Okay ik this isn't canon. but in this, Calypso is able to control anyone, anywhere. and by control i mean she can do whatever she wants to them. I hate her. anyways please read the tws before continuing]

[TW: Torture/violence, some suicidal thoughts, and implied/mentions of SA]

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Part 4: Calypso

Odysseus ran down the beach, stumbling in the sand. Panting, sobbing, he fled, headed straight for the water. He didn’t care if he drowned. If anything, he preferred it.

Anywhere, even the Underworld, was better than here.

But right before he reached the water, his knees buckled. He collapsed into the sand, landing face-first with a groan. Carefully, he pushed himself back to his feet, but his feet seemed to be locked in place. He was stuck.

“What do you think you’re doing?” came a voice behind him.

Odysseus felt like throwing up. “Nothing you need to know,” he seethed.

Calypso worked her magic, sending a bolt of pain exploding through Odysseus’s chest. He screamed, doubling over in pain.

“What are you doing?” she repeated.

Gasping for air, he managed, “Getting out of here.”

The throbbing in his chest lessened but didn’t disappear. “And why would you do that, darling?”

“Don’t call me that.”

The pain flared once more, this time so intense that he collapsed to his knees again. White spots danced before his eyes. “Answer me,” Calypso demanded.

“I can’t stay here anymore,” breathed Odysseus.

“Even after all I’ve given you?” the goddess spat. “Out there, you’d be facing monsters. Nightmarish creatures that will eat you alive. You’d face the wrath of the gods, who are furious with you just for having made it this far. And even if you were to escape all that, you’d drown. Meanwhile, I’ve offered you food, shelter, and company. The least you could do is be thankful. I’m not your enemy here, Odysseus.”

The son of Laertes struggled to catch his breath — once he did, he croaked out, “Everything I’ll face out there is far less of a monster than you.”

That set her off. Somehow, the agony in Odysseus’s chest increased even more, forcing another ear-piercing scream from him. Without warning, his throat constricted — Calypso’s magic — making him choke on his own breath.

Please, he begged silently, make it stop.

But Calypso wasn’t done. “How dare you! All these years, I took you into my home, let you into my bed — ”

“I never … wanted that …” he interjected, choking on his words.

“ — and now you blame me for your pain! I have half a mind to kill you right now.”

“I wish you would,” he whispered, trembling. “At least … that way, I won’t … have to betray Penelope … any longer.”

Frustrated, Calypso scoffed. “What is it that you love so much about this Penelope? This mortal? What does she have to offer you that I don’t?”

“Everything,” Odysseus gasped. “Everything.”

Seizing him by his tunic’s collar, she yanked him to his feet. The two of them locked eyes, her fiery stare feeling as if it was burning into him.

“You know,” she said through her teeth, “everything I’m doing to you right now, I could just as easily do to her.” She raised her free hand and snapped her fingers, sending another jolt of pain through him. He let loose yet another scream.

“Just like that.”

“No,” he breathed.

“And not just her,” Calypso continued. “To your son — ”

Odysseus felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Hard.

“ — your father — ”

Another blow.

“ — and everyone else that matters to you.”

The last blow came so hard, he collapsed to his knees again. He tried to inhale — and failed. His throat was still half-closed.

Calypso bent down and placed a hand under Odysseus’s chin, pushing his face upwards until they were eye-to-eye. His eyes were filled with tears.

“There’s blood on your hands, Odysseus. And there will be more.” Her nails dug into his skin, droplets of red forming on his flesh. “All you can choose is whose.”

The tears fell, streaking his dirt-stained cheeks as they ran down his face.

“Your own … or everything and everyone you hold dear.”

Finally, the pain ceased and his throat opened. He gulped in mouthfuls of air, coughing as it got caught in his throat. He collapsed forward, barely catching himself on his palms.

“Your choice,” Calypso said above him. “If you wish to save yourself and flee, I won’t stop you. But if you do, just keep in mind that your home will soon be in ruins.”

She turned and began to walk away, leaving him sobbing in the sand. “If you wish to stay, on the other hand …” she stopped and glanced back, grinning. “Meet me at my bed tonight.”

Odysseus could hear the triumph in her voice. And it sickened him.

But his decision was made.

That night, he met her at her bed, the pain in his heart far greater than the pain she was about to inflict on him.

•••

Dearest love of mine, I shouldn’t even have the right to call you that anymore. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t want this. I never wanted this. I promised you it would never happen again — not after the close call with Circe. Yet another promise I have broken. I don’t know how I’ll ever get you to forgive me. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself. I don’t deserve your love, Penelope. Not after what I’ve done. I tried to fight her. Believe me, I did. But I am powerless against her. I wish she’d let me go … or let me die. I don’t care which one. Not after my infidelity, even while you’ve waited for me all these years. I let you down. I won’t ask you to wait for me any longer. I don’t deserve it. I’m so sorry, my love. Please forgive me. Please.

So he wrote, every night for seven years, his tears staining the papyrus. And every night, he eyed the glimmering gold next to his hand — the brooch his beloved had given him all those years ago when he had left for Troy. He had kept it safe throughout his journey, not wanting even the smallest scratch on it. All these years, it had reminded him of his purpose, that there was someone waiting for him back home.

And now he had betrayed that someone.

He wanted to reach out and touch it. He wanted to wear it again — to keep  this gift from Penelope so close to his heart. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He felt … unworthy.

Many times, Calypso had tried to take it.

Forget about her, she’d say. You’re here with me now. Not her. You belong to me.

But Odysseus refused. As much as he felt like he didn’t deserve to have it, the last person whose hands he’d let it fall into were Calypso’s.

By no means would she get anywhere close to that brooch.

So he kept it here, on the desk, next to his pile of letters. His pile of guilt.

That pile only grew every time she’d invite him to bed. Every time he’d reluctantly obey. Every single night.

And all he could say was, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m so, so sorry.”

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[hirsheyskisses]

Random Drabble Of Luca!

Attention.

Disclaimer: i write for the personalities & characters portrayed, not the people behind the screen.

A/N: pulled this entire thing out my ass to get something posted :3 | I've been on partial hiatus again bc school related shit-

"...Are you done yettt?"

"Just about. Why?"

You stared over at your boyfriend, who was staring back at you with those gosh damn puppy eyes again. For someone meant to be big and scary, you enjoyed his energy: the sun to the room.

"I'm bored!" Luca replied smoothly, and you rolled your eyes. "Give me a few." "You said that last time-" "I mean it. Just another paragraph."

Luca grumbled softly, giving in. Or, that's what you thought. Being so deep into work, even you knew it'd be a lot longer than just a few minutes, maybe an hour at least. Typing away at your keyboard for the book draft you'd been working on, which had been brought on by Ike and you talking of a world the two of you could write together. This draft was filled with ideas you had to send over to the novelist.

15 minutes later, you felt arms sneak around your shoulders.

"Lucaaa.. i'm working-" "I know! But you neeeeed-" Luca let his words cut off for a moment, pulling your chair out and lifting you up with relative ease- "-a BREAK!"

"ACK- LUCA!" You laughed, playfully shoving at his chest. But the blonde would have none of it: adjusting you in his muscled arms so he held you bridal style, and began to leave your office room, mindful not to let you bump against anything.

"I was about to take a break yknow!"

"I know, but this is so much better. It's a poggier way of taking a break!"

He had carried you to your shared bedroom. "Poggier isn't a word, Luca-" "Ehh- it is now!"

He gently placed you down on the bed, and laid down beside you. Cuddling up close. "See? Pog!"

"...Oh, alright. It is very pog." You had long given up in your struggles: accepting your fate of being wrapped up tight in his arms. It wasn't a bad fate, either: he was warm, lovable, and also your boyfriend.

And you really did need that break.

A/N #2: [this note directed at another writer if they ever see it :) ]

Don't feel like being fancy today SO! but also! Upon reading through the latest luxiem tag.. i saw them. Neptune (I believe is their name?? i may have read the pinned msg wrong, they're also known as shu's armpit) wants to see more work! SO.. I figured I'd push out a short work since I'm down n ready. If you see this, HEYYY!

i also admire your like, skills of writing/hcing w the boys. I legit could never bc i get embarrassed as it is writing "fluffy" nsfw (as most can tell at quick glance, my page is mostly fluff)

[hannieehaee]

Idk if this is appropriate or not (feel free if this is something you don't want to answer) but as a casual kpop stan who really only stans seventeen and listens to other kpop artists on a somewhat frequent basis I just feel as though seventeen is reaching their peak in a way that's far from satisfying. Like idk if this makes sense but to me it seems as tho the members are struggling to keep out of "scandals" with mingyu's incident last year, minghao/seoksoon being labeled as fat phobic earlier this year over out of context clips and now with Joshua (he's not even close to being my favorite member but these rumors and pregnancy stories are honestly making me so upset rn) ...as a fan who feels a genuine attachment to these people it's hard for me to be happy because while Ik the boys deserve every good thing coming their way fame comes with a price and that price is what I'm worried about. Like I get that Pledis isn't SM and seventeen definitely see themselves as family unlike NCT who view themselves more as colleagues I'm so scared that Joshua will eventually leave like Lucas or heaven forbid anything more drastic happens. It's just that I always see these "we could never save them" posts but then the same people who post them also comment the worst things forgetting that idols are humans too. I'm super sorry for the long ask but I just read that jeonghan got hurt and that made me think of the rest of the members and everything else they've been going thru. I'm not even the type of person to get attached to people I barely know but with Seventeen it's like I'm really and honestly praying for their success because they seem that THAT genuine group of people who are just trying their best. Sorry for the rambling

i get what ur saying. dont worry abt sending a long ask! ur welcome to rant abt svt in my inbox whenever! honestly i havent stanned for too long so idk how things were before this past year but i do worry for them lately :/ theyre getting injured too often and they get no rest. i dont like how pledis/hybe are managing them at all. theyve been constantly touring japan very repeatedly for seemingly no good reason at all which has obviously tired them out (theyve been dropping like flies, LITERALLY). pledis had the opportunity to promote them in ways that didnt involve constant performances but have just chosen not to for some reason. i really hope they get to rest soon (unlikely tho since theyre likely gonna have a world tour next year).

about the joshua thing. i feel sosososo bad for him. idk and idc if hes really dating that girl honestly. i do feel like it was kinda dumb of her to consistently post herself in the same places/clothes as him if they really wanted to keep it a secret BUT neither of them deserved the hate/scrutiny they got for it. not even with the pregnancy thingy on her stories. i don't think joshua and lucas' situations are comparable whatsoever since joshua has not done anything wrong unlike lucas. im hoping pledis somehow protects him better but thats unlikely. i dont think any member of svt will ever leave bc as u said, theyre family. cant rlly compare to nct tho lol bc i only stan svt so idk any other groups' dynamics like that. i do get what ur saying tho i have friends who stan nct and svt and theyve said to me that they do see a drastic difference in dynamics between the two groups but thats neither here nor there.

lastly, i have the best hopes for svt. they keep saying theyll only go up from here and i believe that. idk how that will play out with military service in consideration or with what seems to be chronic incidents that keep happening to them (gyu, cheol, and han in the past few months) but i trust and hope they'll be okay. they have a very established fanbase and a rlly good support group with one another so i only see good things for them in the future. hope they get at least a month off soon though.

[bananafire11]

vent

please dont read if youre not in the right space rn. heavy on anger and feels. just wanna type it out somewhere and this blog is my safe space so

i am so fucking angry right now. like the kind of anger thats pent up and bubbles beneath the skin and is ready to implode out at any fucking second and i hate it so much. i dont feel like i have very good reasons for feeling this way either. or maybe im downplaying those reasons, i dunno

i dont want to bother any of my friends with this shit. i feel guilty because ik they have their OWN struggles. ik feeling this way is silly because i help them through so much, and am so glad to do so. but theres always this doubt.

anyway. on discord, i put my status on DNIUC sometimes because i just need space and ik that most of my close friends will see this and know to be careful that day. or if they text and im slow to respond, ik they understand. but theres these friends who KEEP spamming. and its driving me FUCKING MAD. one, who is very close and gosh i love them so much, sends me so much every day. youd think after the first few times i didnt respond, he'd get the fucking jist and think "ill stop there" but instead he KEEPS ON. ITS OVERWHELMING. and the subject of these texts isnt bad or anything, but its always about him and his bf. i dont have the energy to talk about them 24/7. im beyond happy for him, that hes happy. but FUCK. im asexual and never have been in a relationship, and sometimes it feels like a fuckyou to me?? ik he doesnt mean it that way at all!! but!!! idk, sometimes its like theres a longing for a bf of my own. but i dont want to settle. ill wait for the right boy. right now, hes not here. and im not actively looking for a relationship, i have so much shit going on. so, i usually ignore this guys dms as long as i can. i feel guilty, but at the same time fucking furious that i even have to do it in the first place, if that makes sense. i love him dearly, but it's forced me to just put my status on 'invisible' so it looks like im offline. better to avoid people, ig.

theres another guy, who isnt as close, but ive made great friends with thus far in the time ive met him over a game i enjoy. but again, doesnt know when to stop. why are you texting me when it says dniuc!!! YOU ARENT CLOSE. ive explained 'close' is friends ive known for a year or so, which isnt exactly true actually... but i needed to tell him something that wouldnt hurt his feelings. after i clarified for the second time, he let up. but still. people are fucking annoying and its so FRUSTRATING that i love them because that makes shit so complicated.

then, family. ive been snowed in with my mom and sister for over a fucking week and I NEED OUT. i never thought id say this but I WANT TO BE AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM HOME. my neighbors, who are more so aunt and uncle to me and my sister, let me go over and stay hours with them when i need it. but i dont feel like trecking thru the fking snow to get there. last night i stayed over and watched a favorite movie of mine with them and it was great, but having the energy to do that feels exhausting tonight.

im trying to distract myself with art, but its not working like it normally does. and its goddamn hard. tried videogames, youtube, but nothing is bringing me true relief. but i dont want to sleep either. ugh.

vent art, anger.

[estcsy]

Hello! I need advice on shifting and ur like the only person ik on here that does it😀 basically I used to be super hyperfixated on shifting but it never worked out and I got super frustrated, now it's been a long time and I'm trying to get back into it but idk how. I have adhd and have trouble staying focused. I've done meditations but even the ones specially made for ppl with adhd dont really seem to do anything. I'm good at visualizing, it gets me very tingly and almost convinced that I am fully there, but after a short while my eyes hurt and they feel like they cross when I try to visualise with them closed and opening them makes it harder to focus. And overall I cant really seem to get a grip on shifting as much as I used to anymore, cus I cant get really emotionally into it, so I'll try it once and then completely forget abt it and I feel like I'm not making any progress :((

U dont have to reply! Feel free to ignore this!!

I WOULD NEVER EVER IGNORE YOUUU :D

i totally get you tho, i’m the same and especially in the beginning i had a lot of trouble focusing. but the best advice that i have for that is one of twos things

1. just do what feels right

if you have trouble focusing or have something like adhd doing something you don’t really feel like doing won’t work AT ALL so if you already struggle with that and you think the method is boring or something along those lines you won’t get anywhere. so please just do what you want. since you’re good at visualization i’d stick to that and have fun with it! :D laying in the dark counting is so boring so please just use your imagination however you’d like

2. try while you’re sleepy

for this, try to sleep for about 2 - 4 hours and then wake up and start doing your method, when you’re sleepy it’s kinda hard to focus on more then one thing so i think visualizing while you’re tired might work for you :D (and don’t worry about not falling asleep, just set your mind to waking up where you’re shifting to and you should be fine) 

but other than that about your problem about feeling like you don’t have as good of a grip on shifting, that’s totally fine! i think being chill about it is better than being hyperfixated on it

also try shifting somewhere that you really really wanna go or like a new place if that makes any sense? if you’ve been trying to shift for a while to the same place and you kinda feel like you’ve lost passion for going there that’s okay and understandable, just try and make sure that you feel excited about where you’re going because it can be hard when that spark of motivate of really wanting to go there is gone

and i know that might sound sad but that dr will always be there and you can always go later :D

good luck tell me how it goes 🫂🫂🫂🫶🏻

ALSO THE EYES CROSSING THING DRIVES ME CRAZY AS WELL UGH

[troph4eum]

Overcoming Toxicity

aight so 4 months ago i wrote this song called overcoming toxicity and i wanna talk ab it cuz it ties back to a concept in do you see your god in me but theres also other stuff i wanna talk ab in it.

heres the link for it

so if u listened to it its p obviously a love song and yeah its ab a specific person. we werent together or none but it was more than platonic to say the least. im ngl2u shit didnt work out which i always knew was a possibility which is why im not too fucked up ab it now (it did take a bit to come to terms w it tho ngl2u) but despite that im still glad i made this song bc it helped me solidify some things and a bunch of other stuff im gonna get into.

so before we rlly get into it bc this songs backstory involves another person im not gonna get into very specific details out of respect for them plus it aint yalls business to know everything. but ima jus say no crazy shit happened btw us causing some crazy falling out theres no beef or drama to be had ima leave it at that.

now that thats out of the way lemme get into explaining this song.

so a major theme in this song is running away and the idea of "it" being worth it. what this all stems from is when me and this person first met. we became friends and i noticed that it was insanely possible for me to develop feelings for them. and in all honestly that scared the shit out of me cuz i got trouble with trusting people and attachment. so as they tried to get closer i would ignore them sometimes and keep my space to prevent that. and listen ill be the first to tell u that im a fucking asshole for that and even knowing how everything ended up i still regret it bc they didnt do anything to deserve that. but bc of my own cowardice and refusal to be vulnerable i did it.

this all happened around last summer and after a certain point in time we just werent as close as we used to be. some time passed and in that time i stopped hanging around a lot of my friends thats where the "ran away from all my friends" line came from. the whole me not liking them in the first place bit is an exaggeration but i started to realize that their actions werent very fitting of my morals. or at least thats how im choosing to put it bc honestly its not serious enough for me to get into specifics. soon after that i started to realize how much of an idiot i was being and decided that i shouldnt be scared to commit to something just because it might not work out. which is something that yu yu hakusho (ik im a fucking nerd LMAO) reminded me of. so i started hanging out w them more. as time went on we got closer n shit theres a lot more to it but like i said that shit aint yalls business but like i thought i would i started to develop feelings for this person the more i got to know them. and it wasnt too much longer after that when i wrote this song.

so like just going thru the lyrics i feel like everythings pretty self explanatory but a few lines sort of stand out as needing a bit more context to be fully understood

thought i'd amount to nothin

cant lie thought i was bluffin i thought i'd never love again

i come back to u n ask myself if it was worth it god i hope ts is worth it always struggled w my purpose i jus scratched the fuckin surface yall dont know whats underneath talkin like this hurts my teeth n i thought i was gettin better but im yellowed from the grief youre too fuckin sweet

and then theres obviously the reprise of do you see your god in me which im saving for last

so honestly the amount to nothing, purpose, and surface lines all can be grouped cuz they deal w the same sort of topic. so i used to talk to this person ab my dreams and like the actual artistry behind not just my music but my thoughts and it was something we really bonded over and we both shared thoughts with eachother about interesting concepts and it was something we rlly admired ab eachother but like when it came to my music it always seemed like they rlly believed in me n shit n like i do struggle w my purpose a lot but when i was w them shit jus seemed so easy n so clear. and this is bc they seemed to rlly understand me n what i was saying (which if yk me personally or have read some of the stuff on here yk means a lot to me bc its some i struggle w w other ppl) they rlly made it easier for me to believe in myself and my ideas and motivations. and then when it comes to the surface shit its honestly just the truth i rlly have only just scratched the surface of what i wanna talk ab w my music w the songs i have out. this page actually lets me dive deeper and it defintely has the closest look into my mind thats publicly available but overall people dont know whats rlly underneath besides them. well ig now not even them cuz its been a minute since weve talked but anyways that rlly just means i need to get to work on making music w substance again so i can spread the ideas i want to express before its too late.

so what i was talking about with the bluffing part is bc when i first started talkin to them again i didnt know if i was rlly gonna stick to it cuz i didnt know if i had the capacity to love someone like that again. and then when i said i asked myself if it was worth it ts lowkey has a double meaning of like was it worth it to treat them the way i did back then (a rhetorical question obviously it wasnt) and then also asking myself if it was worth it to come back even though im risking myself by being in this vulnerable position. (spoiler but i think it was) which i reinforce by said "god i hope ts is worth it" and honestly i have a complex relationship with god that deserves its own post bc i have what i feel are interesting thoughts on religion that i could talk very extensively about.

and then the teeth part vaguely highlights the bitter sweetness of the whole situation and this is because of numerous complications that once again i wont be going into bc ts is nunya but at the same time when we werent concerning ourselves with those things shit was honestly so good. and the whole yellowed from the grief thing is just because i still felt stained from the time i lost something similar and i was still dealing with the effects of it. which also brings up me thinking i was getting better and the reason i named this song overcoming toxicity. i thought that by making this commitment i was finally done shedding all the toxic habits that i had that summer but now i realize that youre never really "better" youre just always trying your best and sometimes you relapse back into negative patterns of thought. now i didnt run from them again but there were other problems i had at the time that were arising that i was struggling to deal with mainly my paranoia and trust issues which at the time were unrelated to them. and like they were the one who told me that stuff ab regressing and honestly i wish i listened more and took it more to heart bc i was rlly spiraling over some shit that was triggering my anxiety and maybe i couldve come out of it sooner if i just listened more but i was too in my head.

now all thats left is the reprise and lowkey ima have to do this shit genius annotated style so lets get it

"i said ill fix it n wont run away"

so by now it should be obvious what i meant by this only that i wouldve been saying that to myself as an affirmation as opposed to a promise made to them

"ur born from adam too human for me"

so tbh we did have a lot in common just like as people but idk theyre just way more social than me and it felt like they related to other people more than i did. its something that i always struggled with. we both had trouble feeling understood by and understanding others but to me they seemed to relate to others more (which to me is different from understanding) idk maybe i was wrong for saying this and it was just my perception of them but thats just how i felt. this is something i wanna talk ab later in another post but i do often feel like everyone relates to me but i dont truly relate to anyone else. idk this line is a bit looser and has speculative meaning even from me the person who wrote it.

"existentialism and struggle for peace"

now this line honestly has so much depth in it bc existentialism and the "struggle for peace" are such layered concepts and honestly id just read about existentialism to get a grasp of what it is rather than have my tired ass explain it. but the struggle for peace is sort of what trophaeum is all about. and trophaeum has a lot to do with my life if thats not obvious enough.

"do you wanna be the god in me"

now THISSS is the heavy hitter when it comes to meaning. cuz HOLYYY SHIT. so first off youre gonna have to read the do you wanna see your god in me post to fully understand what im ab to talk ab so do that and come back heres the link

now just like "do you see your god in me" i had no idea what this meant when i said it and honestly even rn im trying to figure out what it means but it honestly just felt right in the moment when i said it so i stuck w it. but what i do know is that this question is not using the god in someone as described in the other post literally. if the god in someone is the person who exists in their mind regardless of all the external masks and lies that are told by themselves and others and to see that god in someone else is to truly understand and to hold nothing back from eachother then wtf does it me to be the god in another person??? theres no way to give it a literal interpretation to it without sounding way crazier than i usually sound so heres how ive come to understand it

its inviting someone to be one with you (and by extension you one with them) and live your lives without having the question of whether you understand eachother or not because u simply just do. its complete transparency between eachother. honestly its a lot closer to "do you wanna be with the god in me" but not only does that not fit the flow of the hook but i also wasnt rlly thinking ab it then. tbh thats sort of how much i came to understand it it might take me more time to rlly understand what i meant more. and now that everythings on the table you probably have a very valid question

jin why the fuck would you ask such a heavy question to someone you werent even fucking dating

and im ngl to u ur right ts is kinda crazy especially writing a whole song ab someone i wasnt dating but all i can rlly say is u had to b there to understand. like bc of my neurodivergency i have trouble processing and explaining my feelings and music is one of the ways im able to illustrate it in a way that feels most genuine. and honestly at the time i hadnt even told them how i rlly felt yet cuz it jus didnt feel right but it was like one of those things where u can sort of tell the feelings are mutual yall jus aint say it yet. so this song was a lot of things. it was a confession, a show of affection, me reflecting on some past experiences, and it gave me the opportunity to rlly think some things out while also letting them out and it taught me a lot and it rlly made those lessons stick. so its all of those things combined that make me glad i made it and why im never gonna take it down regardless of things not turning out how i wanted it to.

i think thats all i have to say for now like usual ty if u actually read all this shit. this is a rlly personal subject for me obviously and im still sort of unsure of whether i should share this much but at the same time its a part of my music just as my music is a part of me so if im going to share my music im gonna share myself yk? idk if that makes sense i hope it does. ik im sort of makin myself vulnerable by posting this but its something ive wanted to talk ab for a minute so im doin it anyways.

[ptergwen]

OK OK IK IM GETTING BACK TO YOU LIKE AN HOUR LATER, AND THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO CLIQUE- but a songfic based on all i wanted by paramore. i’m talking reader and peter being really close friends until he starts straying from reader and hanging out with mj more. maybe they get into a fight one day where reader goes to the tower for a mission briefing and sees that mj is there (superheros aren’t allowed to reveal identities at all, and peter never let reader in on anything, reader found out he’s spiderman on her own) AND THEN THEY ARGUE RIGHT? both say really hurtful stuff THEN THEN READER TAKES MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS. GOES ON THE MISSION ALONE. THE WORST HAPPENS AND THEY BARLEY FIND HER. you can choose whether she makes it out or not 🤷🏻‍♀️ BUT YEAH THATS WHAT I GOT

like her, love you

gif by random-fandom-whump

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w/c: 1,005

warnings: angst, mentions of injuries

a/n: bestie you have done it again! i can always count on you for some good old angst mwahaha it has kind of a happy ending but i think the people will appreciate that <3 also i just posted a sleepover so make sure to check that out y’all! happy reading

“talk to me, y/n. say something, anything.”

when you open your mouth to speak, you start to cough. you cough up dirt and dust, choke on it. you lie in the grass, where you’d landed. peter is kneeling on the grass in front of you. he has an arm behind your head for support, his free hand finding yours. he holds your intertwined hands against your chest.

the jet you had taken for your mission ran out of fuel mid-air. you never even made it there. you crashed, and it was only because of the tracker in your suit that peter was able to find you. he was supposed to go with you, but you two had gotten into a fight before you left. you decided to do the mission alone. you were heated and distracted coming off your argument, so you’d forgotten to refill the jet tank.

“peter? i… i…”

you try to sit up, resulting in another coughing fit, clutching at peter’s hand with both of yours. peter squeezes your hand in his back even tighter.

“just breathe, okay? just breathe. you can do it, y/n/n. deep breaths.”

peter inhales a breath and nods repeatedly, encouraging you to follow his lead. you wheeze at first, struggling to get air into your lungs. with peter’s help, your breathing eventually begins to even out.

“there you go. just like that.”

you let your head fall back on peter’s arm as you catch your breath. peter strokes your cheek with his gloved fingers, eyes staying fixed on you.

he’ll never let you out of his sight again.

he touches his index finger to his ear piece that he uses to communicate with the rest of the avengers.

“mr. stark? i found her. yeah, she’s alright. do you have the coordinates? okay. how long until you get here? okay, thank you.”

“tony’s coming?”

you lift your head up, but peter eases you back down.

“the whole team. they were really worried when they didn’t hear from you. we all care about you, so much.”

“do you?”

“how could you even ask that? you’re my best friend.”

“what about mj?”

“can i not have other friends?”

“i never said that.”

“no, but you implied it.”

you scoff and prop yourself up on your elbows.

“look, peter. i don’t care that you’re friends with mj. she’s cool. i care that you broke the rules, and you broke them for her.”

“i don’t know what you think you saw-“

“not think. i saw it.”

this is the same argument you’d had earlier.

when you arrived to avengers tower for your mission, mj was there. she was talking to peter, but not peter peter. spider-man peter. he was suited up, mask off, identity revealed.

tony has a strict policy about peter keeping his identity a secret. he’s experienced firsthand how much damage it does when your double lives overlap into one, and he doesn’t want his protege have to go through what he did. hence, the reason why peter wears the mask in the first place.

what’s the point if he’s exposing himself to mj? how could he even trust her?

you’re both friendly with mj in school, and she seems chill, but you don’t know much about her. her and peter are just getting close. he recently began hanging out with her outside of school, and apparently in the tower. you’ve been friends with peter and spider-man for years, and you had to figure out they were the same person on your own. he never told you.

but he told mj.

“please just give me a chance to explain.”

“i’m not interested in hearing it.”

you push yourself up to your feet, stumbling as you trek through the grass. you’re still a bit disoriented from your crash landing.

“where are you going?”

“back to the jet. don’t follow me.”

“it’s not gonna fly, you know. it’s out of fuel.”

you ignore peter and your dizziness and keep walking. peter’s fingers catch your wrist, forcing you to turn back and face him.

“the others will be here soon. just stay with me until they come. hear me out.”

your pride tells you no, but your love for him tells you yes. no matter how angry at him you are, he’s still your best friend.

you look down at your wrist in peter’s grasp, then up into his pleading eyes. you give in with a sigh. he lets go of you. you take a seat in the grass, sitting cross-legged. peter mirrors your actions.

“mj wasn’t supposed to find out. it was an accident.”

“what do you mean?”

“i was showing her around the tower, because you know my cover story, how i ‘intern’ there. thought it would be cool. mj sorta just put two and two together. she’s, like, really smart.”

“you never showed me around the tower.”

“why would i? you’re an avenger.”

“yeah, but i didn’t know you were… until i did.”

tears prick your eyes.

“how come you never told me? i’ve been friends with you way longer than mj, and she found out before i did. did you not think i could handle it?”

the tears escape. peter frowns and shifts closer to you.

“i knew you could.”

he dabs at the corners of your eyes with his thumbs, palms pressed to your cheeks.

“but that’s not the point.”

“then what is?”

“i didn’t tell you because i thought i was keeping you safe. i wanted to protect you. knowing my identity puts you in danger.”

you sniffle, more tears wetting your cheeks. your watery eyes meet peter’s.

“we’re best friends, y/n. nothing and no one could change that. i like mj, but i love you.”

you throw your arms around peter’s neck, hiding your face in his curls. a sob passes through your lips. peter hugs you back, making sure to be gentle because you’re still recovering from the crash. he kisses the side of your head and holds you in his arms, never once letting go.

tags: @mystic-writings @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @lnmp89 @jenoslov @crvshnburnn@starlight-starks @belovasheart @liltimmyst @eviewriites @hollandsangel @parkerctrl @eichenhouseproperty @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @varshhyy @ellebutnotwoods@magicalxdaydream @tayyx @parkerdadda @valluvsu @ronweasleysslut @peterficrecs​ @Winchestersgirl222

[mrpenguinpants]

Razor:  Jealous HCs

Hey anon!! As much frustration I hold for crippling oblivious couples, I also love the trope so much. Plus I adore Razor. Even though I try to not call Razor a dog, I still google “jealous dog traits”. Also, I found out both Hanniejji and I secretly HCs Bennet is friends with Razor and Fischl. If genshin won’t give me character interactions then I’ll write it myself.

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Semi Part 1: General HCs

Semi Part 2: Pre-Relationship HCs

Semi Part 3: Cuddle HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

 @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @ aanne2601 @hanniejji​

Razor:  Jealous HCs

Bennet and Fischl are both foaming at the mouth at how deeply in love you BOTH are and yet you’re both equally blind. Fischl wants to grab you by the shoulders and yell at you that Razor returns your feelings and you need to stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. A sad Razor looks like a kicked puppy and even she can’t handle it. But Razor absolutely refuses for anyone to confess for him because he believes that you might just genuinely be uninterested in him. Plus, it wouldn’t feel right if he couldn’t confess himself. It’s his first love, this is important to him.

Bennet thinks it’s really sweet that his friend is in love. Even if he does get a bit pouty that whenever he get’s hurt, Razor will ask if he’s alright and leave it at that. But if you accidently trip Razor is already at your side and fussing over you. Bennet uses this as physical proof that yes, your feelings are returned and this man is in love with you, but you always brush it off as Razor’s nature to be caring. He’s smiling patiently on the outside but on the inside he has his hands in his hair and he’s screaming.

God forbid anything upsets you. Razor hasn’t been around other humans long enough to pick up on most social cues but he does have a good sense of smell. If you’re happy then the wind smells like sweet flowers. If you’re upset then it smells like mint. While Razor usually keeps himself in check and is somewhat indifferent, the second he catches any signs of distress from you he’s on high alert. Until you tell him what’s been bothering you - a group of hilichurls stole your bag of snapdragon flowers - he’s going to be on guard and stressed out. He’s already throwing his claymore over his shoulder to go and fight the monsters that tried to upset you. Wow, what a good friend you say to Fischl. Fischl is ready to punt you off a cliff.  

Razor tries his best to show that he likes you by bringing the things you need and looking like such a proud pup. He looks at you with such hopeful eyes that it takes you a second to register what he’s asking before you feel your own heart rate speed up and pound into your ears. You flush pink before you move to embrace him and ruffle his hair as praise as he nuzzles into your shoulder affectionally. You assume his affectious actions are apart of his wolf nature and how they act so you try not to read too deep into things. Even if Razor seems a bit too happy to be hugging you and receiving pets. Or the fact he doesn’t let anyone else pet him...

Bennet tries his best to help his friend out by giving Razor some advice but considering Bennet himself hasn’t been in a relationship yet, it’s all practical. Telling Razor that he’s seen couples bring each other flowers as a sign of affection, maybe Razor could find some plants to bring you? It ends horribly when he offers you a wolfhook and you just stare at him. He says that these are his feelings towards you but you’re just...so confused?? Wolfhooks have thorns so does that mean he thinks you’re clingy? Isn’t that a bad thing? Are you annoying to him?? But wolfhooks also symbolize wolves so is he saying you’re like family to him??? You’re internally screaming while debating if you just got family-zoned or if Razor is trying to subtly tell you that he doesn’t like you.

Just because Razor is, somehow, unsure if you actually like him or not. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get incredibly jealous and possessive at any unknown presence. He’s still a bit wary of the City due to all the conflicting smells and noises but he can’t help but look so sad when you have to run errands and you can’t visit him. But when you mention that a really nice knight gifted you a flower does Razor see red. He gave you a flower?? Shouldn’t you be happy with his? Why do you need another one when you have his? Is his gift not good enough? Is this your way of saying you’re interested in someone else? This poor boy is on the verge of either running off to go sulk or find the man that gave you this flower, which up until his knowledge - courtesy of Bennet - is a sign of courting, and absolutely destroy him to prove he’s the better partner.

He tries to keep it under wraps since he's been told that while in the City, he needs to exercise restrain and understand that if he enters. He's expected to at least respect the laws and people. But this poor wolf is so feral over this new development and this new smell that's been clinging onto you that whatever worries and isolation issues Razor felt about the city flies out the window as his protective instincts kick into overdrive. He sees other people and even pets as a rival for your attention and love. He just wants to scoop you up and growl at everything as a message to say “this is mine, go get your own”.

Even when the both of you are far away from the city, Razor’s continued mood seems to hang heavy over both your heads. You’re not sure what exactly caused Razor to be on high alert. He’s snapping and growling at everything little thing that comes close, even a butterfly!

You abruptly stop walking to Razor’s surprise as you whip around and frown at him. He can feel a chill run up his spine as he stands perfectly straight as you study him before you hold your palm out and looked at him expectantly. He looks at your hand with a small spark of perked attention before his nose twitches and he goes back to sulking. You’re still waiting for him as he shuffles a bit, his hair that resembled a wolf ear is twitching, before he whines and trots over and places his chin on your palm. He’s looking up at you with the most kicked puppy expression and you don’t even know what you did but you feel like the worse person in all of Teyvat.

“Razor...what’s gotten into you?” you ask gently as you rub circles into his cheek as he nuzzles into your palm. He seems really conflicted as his eyes dart away from your face and he almost looks guilty. He just whines and turns and buries his face into your warm palm. You’ve never really seen him like that before as you awkwardly try and comfort him. Until the same flower slips out of your pocket and you hear something primal growl out of Razor. His teeth are pulled back and he snarls at the flower as his pupils dilate. You quickly get between him and the poor flower before Razor tries to do anything.

“Seriously Razor, what’s gotten into you?” you asked concerned. He quickly shifts his attention to you as he pounces and knocks you over. You left off a soft noise as the wind get’s knocked out of you but you peep when his hands cage you from above. Razor’s red eyes bore into yours and you’re suddenly thinking the air is getting too hot. 

“Do you like Razor?” he asks, tilting his head in a cute pout. It makes you internally coo before you quickly snap out of it. Stay focused! 

“Of course I do! Remember we talked about this?” you say as you remember back to your previous interactions but this only seems to frustrate Razor more.

“No. Not that like. More...” Razor struggles with his words as he tries to piece together the right string of sounds to try and convey what he’s feeling. He seems so conflicted that it breaks your heart a bit. So you reach up and gently rub behind his ear as he closes his eyes and relaxes. He breathes in deeply as his eyes open and his pupils return to normal, but vastly determined.

“Together. Always. Just...us,” Razor says softly as he looks at you hopefully. There’s a small pink dust to his cheeks as his fang digs into his lip in nervousness. You’re not sure why but your heart absolutely sky rockets at it and you can feel your face flush pink.

“Um, yes?” you nod along, you think you’re understanding what he’s trying to say. Maybe he was just upset you were spending so much time in the City and away from him that he felt your friendship was neglected? That would make you really upset. But the way he phrases his words makes you believe that perhaps...

Before you can think more on it. Razor’s face breaks into a grin that nearly blinds you from the pure affection that sprouts from it. He’s already hugging you harder as he starts rubbing his nose and cheek against your neck. Making soft and happy sounds as he nuzzles you. He’s never done that before but you assume he’s just so happy. You breath a sigh of relief that it appears that your message to him was clear enough.

Yeah of course, friends always, you think

Lupical. Partner. Mate, Razor thinks.

---

whistling as I pretend I don’t see your stares. Yeah ik but it’s ok. This is a sorta semi series. We’ll build upon it. But Xiao content is next lol. I’m taking inspiration from this. I mean, when I don’t feel like shit 😷

I’ve been listening to [  Softy - Dear Moon ]. This isn’t the usual kind of music I listen to but it came on shuffle and this is now my mental breakdown song.

Quick edit: Turns out this is an ost from “My Mister”. I’ve never been into kdramas (I think I’ve only seen goblin, she was pretty, and Hwarang) but the cover picture looks so upsetting? My friend is really into tgcf and I believe that had a live action as well. 

[shorkbrian]

Creep

Prelude - bitch hold on what about mean brother Shigs being an absolute creep? Inspired by me playing a boss in AC Odyssey and my controller vibrated so hard I almost dropped it, and I couldn’t beat this dude and it was so freaking frustrating!!!!!! 

Pairing - Shigaraki X Reader

Warnings - - INCEST, NSFW, innocence kink, do not read if those squick you out bro!!! Seriously! abuse of trust, dubcon, noncon, literally nothing about this situation is good, or healthy, or nice. Disgusting behavior is exhibited by Shigs.

Music - (does anyone actually like when I provide music? I like getting music vibes while I read through fics but ik that my music taste is a bit wacky lol anyways). https://open.spotify.com/track/0ODyahnUlK9G5bT4dA5NCI?si=10R9ggoJS1inYidrMeWrHA

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He offers to let you play his Xbox game, you keep annoying him by pouting for his attention and he gives up with trying to ignore you.

Stipulation - you gotta sit on his lap while you play, you’re such a stupid little girl that he forces his hands over yours, showing you how to use the Xbox controller while sneering at how dumb you are.

You’re too focused on the game to pay attention to how one of his hands has dropped from the controller, is creeping up your thigh, thumbing at the hem of your shorts. You don't realize that he’s plastered against your back, breath picking up in your ear as he hunches over your shoulder, thinking of all the dirty things he wants to do to you, how you’re too absent-minded to realize how much of a perverted creep he is. 

“Shit!” You curse, breaking Shigaraki out of his thoughts as you bounce your leg in frustration. He feels the slight vibration of the controller - you’re getting attacked in the game, enemies surrounding you and hacking at your player. Shigaraki is too entranced by how he can watch your jiggling breasts over your shoulder, jostling around as you jerk your arms, trying to not die in the game.

“Nii-san help me, ‘m gonna die!” You shriek, whole body getting into the gaming experience, jerking around in his lap as you struggle to press the right buttons. Shigaraki tries not to groan - he can feel the space between your thighs as you move around, hot and doughy and he wants to touch so bad.

Yeah, he’s always been a bit of a creep, but he’s never actually done anything to you.

The most he does is fantasize, thinking about how you’d feel clamping down on him, how’d you’d taste if he made you ride his face. What you’d look like if he forced his cock into you with barely any prep - you’d squeeze your eyes shut so tight, let out little whimpers and clench your fists because “Hurts, hurts! Go slow Nii-san, don’t want this!”

But he wouldn’t have to listen, you’re just a naive little girl who doesn’t know that Shigaraki would be trying to make you feel good too, that it would feel good soon.

“Stop wiggling, you’re gonna fall off.” He rasps back at you, taking his other hand off the controller to grab your waist, barely saving you from keeling over and onto the floor. You’re left to fend for yourself now, button-mashing, groaning when you finally succumb to your enemies and die a violent, gory death.

“I died! Why didn’t you help, you’re right here?!” the accusatory tone of your voice is ignored as you revert to the last save, huffing in frustration as you’re forced to start over.

“You’re never gonna learn if I’m holding your hands like that.”

Shigaraki’s glad you’ve stilled again - if you’d kept up your wiggling, he’d have to figure out a way to explain what the hard thing poking into the side of your plush little rear.

God, you had the most perfect ass.

Maybe he’s a freak, a disgusting man with fucked up morals, but Shigaraki’s always been a social outcast, seen as weird and wrong and criticized for every little thing he did.

What’s wrong with settling into the role other people were so quick to offer him?

Surely you’ve noticed his odd behavior by now, the behavior that’s picked up in the last few years. How he stares at you a little more than he should, how sometimes he slips into bed with you, murmuring some lame excuse about not being able to sleep.

The way he freezes when you give him an affectionate hug, clenching his fists by his side as your breasts are squished up against his body.

You had to have caught on to his uncharacteristic softness with you. He’s still mean and coarse and rude, but there's an underlying affection underneath the way he mocks your outfits, when he says you look like the gross character out of a manga he’s reading, how he tugs on your hair sometimes when he passes by you, wheezing out a laugh if you turn around and try to slap at him in irritation.

If you didn’t want him to be weird, you could’ve said something by now. You should’ve said something by now.

So really, it’s your own fault that he feels so comfortable being a sicko.

“Don’t tickle, I gotta focus.” You tell him, squirming away when he runs a hand experimentally over your stomach. You’re so cute, and dumb, he wants to bully you until you’re crying, say mean things and hurt your feelings only so he can kiss it better. 

But he doesn’t, because he’s a good brother.

His hand travels further up, rests right underneath your breast, almost cupping it. Still, you don’t say anything, attention on the game.

Do you want this? Are you just stupid? His affection is so obviously not normal for siblings, and yet you act like it’s fine. Maybe you’re a virgin, untainted with the knowledge of how sexual touches feel like.

The hand on your waist begins to slip under your shorts, his cold fingers quickly warmed by your skin. “Nii-san, stop that, it’s weird.”

Ah, there’s the common sense.

“I though you wanted to play the game? Don’t be a bitch.” He doesn’t really care whether you want him willingly now or not, he’s getting excited by the heat of your body, your weight on his lap.

You pause the game when his hand creeps lower into your shorts, when his fingers skim low over your tummy, too close to a private place that brothers shouldn't touch.

“Stop touching me, I don’t like that.”

“It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy it.” He mumbles, and you stiffen in his lap, but he quickly takes his hand out of your shorts, stops cupping your soft breast.

The game gets unpaused, and you resume playing, although your attention is divided now, nervous about sitting in your brother’s lap.

Has it finally clicked? Are you thinking about what he could do to you, how he could make you feel?

“You suck at this.” Shigaraki observes, the controller shaking almost violently as you’re attacked again, overwhelmed by enemies.

“Well, maybe if you taught me how to play instead of being weird, I wouldn’t be.” You snarked, frustrated with the game, uneasy with your brother holding your hips like that.

Shigaraki rolls his eyes. You’re so dramatic, and although you have a valid point, he’s always been weird. This is nothing new, you’ve just been too thick-skulled to realize it before, which isn’t his fault.

A few more tries, and you still can’t get past the one group of enemies, dying after a few minutes every single time. You’re going to waste the batteries like that, controller jumping in your hands. 

“I can’t-” You whine, coming across the enemies after your latest death, already knowing what’s going to happen.

Shigaraki stays silent, red eyes finally flickering away from your body and up to the screen of the TV. 

You’re at one of the hardest parts of the game, facing a section that took Shigaraki two days to beat (not that he’ll tell you that). He grins as you throw yourself into the fight, immediately getting decked.

The noises you’re letting out are cute, frustrated groans on each hit landed on your player, muttered curses and triumphant scoffs whenever you manage to strike an enemy, which isn’t often.

The controller’s still shaking like crazy, and you’re moving around in his lap again, and Shigaraki is done. He can’t take this anymore, you’re being a tease.

He snatches the Xbox controller out of your hands, ignoring your little “Hey! What’re you doing, I was playing!”

“You call this playing?” The shuddering of the controller surprises him, gives him an idea.

There hadn’t been a plan, he had just been acting on instinct, hands itching to push you off his lap and to the floor, just to see the way you’d look up at him after. 

Like that, you’d be in the perfect position to suck his cock.

But he wants to go in a different direction now.

“Stay still, you’re so annoying.” He’s spreading his legs out, sinking back further in his chair to get a better angle, your legs hooked over his.

There’s no time for you to protest. Like this, you’re spread out nicely, exposed, even though your shorts cover your intimate place.

Without any further preamble, Shigaraki shoves the vibrating controller up against your clothed cunt.

“NIi-san!” You shriek, immediately writhing in his hold. But Shigaraki has an arm locked around your chest, keeping you pinned to his chest. “Don’t, think sins’t-this isn't-! Stop this, stop! Don’t touch me!”

He can bet it feels good, that you’re struggling to tell him to stop. He begins rubbing the controller against you, snickering at the way you jolt and writher on each pass of the hard, curved plastic against your protected clit. He can’t even imagine how good it would feel if your stupid shorts weren’t in the way.

“Stop, stop! Stop it! Stop!” You sound like a broken record.

“Shut up, you can’t even play the game right. Feel that?” the controller gets rubbed harder against you, and you writhe. “That’s how bad you are. So pathetic, can’t even fend off a couple of bad guys.”

Can’t even fend off one, Shigaraki thinks to himself. You could be trying harder to get out of his hold, could be screaming and yelling and scratching and kicking.

Well, you are scratching and kicking, moving around so much that he’s having a hard time keeping you still. And you making a lot of noise, but there’s no one else home.

He’s fully hard, and every movement you make struggling rubs him right up against the meat of your ass, and he sucks in a stuttered breath, biting his lip.

“No, no, no, no, don’t want this Nii-san, stop it-” Your panicked pleas are ignored, Shigaraki shoving your hands away as you try to pull the controller off of your cunt, get the vibrations to stop.

On screen, the player is still getting attacked, each new hit making the controller vibrate even harder.

“Ow, ow! It hurts, make it stop! Nii-san-”

“I’ll gag you if you don’t stop complaining.” Shigaraki seethes, feeling irritation creep up. “It hurts because you’ve never felt this good before, idiot.”

He remembers the first time he’d used something on his dick. It was your toothbrush, unsurprisingly, the one that vibrated with three different speeds and made you so proud of your pearly whites.

It had been so overwhelming, he couldn’t even touch the back of the head to his cock. At times, it felt so good it had hurt, had completely blinded his senses and leave him in a puddle of his own cum and sweat, panting.

So Shigaraki understood what you were trying to say - your inexperienced body needed him to slow down, ease up a little. But your gross, nasty brother wanted to ruin you.

Your character on screen died, resulting in one last heavy vibration that made you sob, thighs struggling to snap shut, hands desperately pushing at Shigaraki.

He felt you convulse in his grip, could practically feel the way your little hole was clenching as you gushed all over yourself, whining and moaning at the pleasure.

Your character was sent back to the last save, the game on a loading screen.

But Shigaraki wasn’t done.

He was still hard against your back, rubbing himself off as best he could, but he was finding his own pleasure in watching you writhe on his lap.

The controller was tossed to the side, nimble fingers sliding over your shorts, Shigaraki laughing at what he found.

“You’re so wet, holy fuck. That’s disgusting, wow.” You were drenched, the fabric of your shorts completely soaked with your juices. You only sobbed out a pitiful noise, maybe trying to deny it, but Shigaraki wasn’t listening. He was too busy rubbing over the wet spot, gleefully feeling you up. It was easy for his fingers to find a comfortable, mind-numbing rhythm, so used to playing games and deftly pushing buttons, using sticks and joysticks, directional pads and the like.

You were rocking against his hand unconcsiously, body unable and unwilling to decided whether to pull away or push closer - you had just cum, but that didn’t negate the vicious, heady sensation that his fingers brought.

Shigaraki quickly grew bored of this though, unable to ignore his dripping erection. He had never been a patient man, quickly removing the hand stimulating your swollen pussy so he could pull his cock out of his sweatpants.

With a quick movement, your shorts were tugged down, your brother completely pushing past your refusal to lift your hips, burning your skin with how forcefully the fabric was ripped down.

“Nii-san, what are you doing-you can’t, you can’t!” You cried, renewing your struggle when you felt skin against skin, his cock hot and velvety as it rested against your cheeks. “I don’t wanna do this, don’t make me do this-”

“I don’t care. I’ve tried to be good, and it’s like you don’t even care.” The man ground out, beginning to rut his hips against your ass. It was dry, and it didn’t feel great, but it was more than enough to satisfy Shigaraki. “I barely touch you, I keep my hands to myself-”

Which was a lie. Late at night, when he was sure you were fast asleep, he’d touch, just a little. Rubbing your nipples, feeling them peak under his touch. Feeling the curve of your waist, skin soft against his dry palms.

“-I wouldn’t stare either, but you wear those stupid shirts-” The deep cut ones, the ones that showed off your cleavage and allowed him weeks of jerk-off material.

“So annoying, just a stupid little imoto that follows me around, you just want attention.”

He knows you don’t do it on purpose. You aren’t trying to make him see you in a sexual light. But maybe that’s what makes it all the more appealing, how naive and innocent you are.

Fuck, he’s getting close just thinking about your purity, how much you don’t know, how much he could teach you.

He doesn’t know a ton, but Shigaraki knows enough about what feels good for him, and you probably wouldn’t want to learn, but he deserved something nice every once in a while, didn’t he?

The drag of his cock between your ass cheeks was making him loose his mind, the slide too rough, but it felt delicious and stimulated him just right, pulling at his foreskin and spreading his precum into a sticky mess on your skin.

“Fuck, stay still, lemme feel good-” His voice was choked up, still holding it’s usual nasal resonance. 

You sobbed in his hold, his fingers still playing over your shorts, exploring, keeping you occupied and frozen with sensation while he got himself off with your body.

And then he was breaking, splurting his seed all over your lower back, watching it come out of his cock in shaky squirts, painting your skin a cloudy white.

Shigaraki groaned, eyes transfixed to the sight before him. It was hard to keep them open, body shaking with little snaps of pleasure in his veins, in his stomach.

On the bed next to his thigh, the controller started shaking again. Panting, Shigaraki raised his eyes to the TV screen as you slumped against him, softly crying.

Your character was getting attacked again.

“Let’s keep playing.”

And the vibrating controller was pressed to your bare cunt, making you scream.

He’d have to wash it after this, but he figured it was worth it in the grand scheme of things

[bugrry]

take his breath away.

yeah its a cheesy title ik </3 anyway lets get into the smut <33

warnings: oral (m receiving), face-fucking, hair pulling, degradation, name calling, swearing, asthma, me being obsessed w the pet name “pup”

word count: 1,630

send a request // add yourself to my taglist // here’s my masterlist!

You swore that Harry could probably hear how fast your heart was beating right now. Your hands were roaming each other’s bodies, running over the extremely familiar expanses of skin. You broke away from the heated kiss, looking down at his bare chest and running your fingers over his tattoos. 

He whined when you broke away, and you responded only by cupping his face. You leaned back in, and he closed his eyes in anticipation of a kiss, but you leaned past his lips and whispered into his ear.

“Can I do something for you tonight? Give you a treat?” 

He whimpered at your quiet question, and you saw his throat bob with a hard swallow, “What- what kind of treat?”

“Don’t act stupid, H. I think you know what I’m talking about.” You giggled, moving to run your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

His eyes darkened, and an air of dominance returned to his being, “Maybe I do, but maybe I want you to tell me.” He said, his voice low and gravely. He brought his hands up from where they had previously been resting on your waist and moved up to grasp at your jaw. Your eyes widened at his near bruising grip, “Nevermind. I don’t want you to get to thinking that you’re the one in charge here. That never has been and never will be the case. Get on your fucking knees.” 

As he says this, he pushes you down to the ground by the grip he had on your jaw, and you land on the hardwood floor with a pained whimper. At hearing this, Harry’s eyes softened, and cupped your jaw gently to get you to look up at him.

“You’re okay, yeah? Do you need a pillow?” You shook your head, almost nuzzling your jaw into his palm. He smiled at this, “what’s our safeword?”

“Volkswagen.”

“And if your mouth is occupied?” You felt your core warm at his words, but you reached up to his thigh and gave it three taps with your fingertips. He nodded at you, and his eyes hardened once again. “Now be a good girl and pull me out.”

As you got to work unzipping his pants, you began to rub your thighs together in anticipation. You thought it was inconspicuous enough as to where Harry wouldn’t notice. Sadly, he did, and he pushed the tip of his boot in between your thighs. You whimpered at the direct contact to your clothed clit, but it was only momentary, as he used his boot to separate your thighs.

“You were going to try to get off just from taking my cock down your throat weren’t you? I shouldn’t have expected anything different from a slut like you, for fuck’s sake.” He returns his boot to your clit, pressing almost uncomfortably hard. “Only I get to get you off, do you hear me? This is my fucking cunt. You don’t touch it. Got it?” You nodded, but he merely tsked and shook his head. “Words, pup. Before I put that fucking mouth to some real use.”

“Yes- yes, I understand.” He merely raised an eyebrow, and you felt your breath hitch, “yes sir, yes sir, I understand.” 

“Good girl. Next time, catch yourself before you fuck up, alright, sweet girl?” He smiled softly, but there was nothing comforting about it. “Know you’re just a dumb little puppy, but I’m sure you can handle that, right?”

You nodded, and he removed his boot from between your thighs. You released the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You returned to your work on his jeans, undoing the button, and with a hearty swallow, pulled the zipper down. His Calvin Klein boxers stared back at you, almost as if they were begging you to pull them down. You felt Harry wrap his hand around your hair, pulling it to that you were looking up at him.

“Any day now, baby. Thought you were desperate for it?” He said, tilting his head mockingly, furrowing his brows.

“I am, sir! I promise!” You said, not wanting to lose your chance to have him in your mouth.

“Are you? Then pull out my fucking cock.” He said, releasing your hair for a moment before pulling at it again, “Today, puppy.” He released your hair for a final time, and your scalp burned from his grip. You worked quickly to pull his cock out, not wanting to be chastised for it a second time.

The moment you’d pulled his aching cock from its restraints, Harry had let out a sigh of relief. You didn’t waste any time in wrapping your lips around the spongy head of his cock.You started out by sucking gently on it, but soon enough you removed your mouth from his tip. 

Before Harry had the chance to grumble about the loss of contact, you returned your lips to his cock, this time in the form of soft kisses down his shaft. You placed a kiss to each of his fern tattoos, and you heard him hum contentedly. You started kissing your way back up his shaft, and his hand returned to the back of your head. He wasn’t forcing anything, just as a comforting presence. Finally you wrapped your lips around his cock, sucking more urgently. At this, Harry let out a soft groan and moved to run his fingers through your hair.

Before he could, he felt your head move out of his grasp as you took almost all of him down your throat in one go. This time, Harry let out a choked groan and grabbed onto your hair for support.

He applied more pressure to the back of your head, pushing you down until your nose rested just above the base of his cock. You looked up at him with teary eyes and swallowed around his thick length. “Fuck--angel, I love nothing more than watching you cry on my cock. Keep going, puppy.” With this, he released your hair and let you go back to what you were doing. You begn to bob your head back and forth, and before long, you’ve reached your hand up to play with his balls.

During all of this, Harry was above you, whispering things like good girl and my perfect little slut. This only made you suck harder and faster, and soon enough you began to hear his breath grow heavy. 

After a few minutes of this, you took your mouth off of him, replacing your lips with your hand as you lean down to suck at his balls. 

“You’re such a good girl, you never forget the balls. I’ve taught you well, haven’t I?” You hummed in response, sending vibrations through Harry’s entire being, almost making him double over in pleasure. “Baby I- I’m close-- I’m so fucking close.”

You smiled, removing your mouth from his balls and placing it back on his tip. You brought your hand back down to replace where your mouth had been mere moments ago, and began to suck urgently at his cock once again. After a bit, you grew bored, and you take the hand the Harry had on the back of your head, and press it harder into your scalp.

He gets the message and begins pistoning his length in and out of your mouth, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly. Harry was grunting and groaning, grumbling your name repeatedly. 

“Baby- puppy-- I’m gonna cum, where do you want me to cum?” In response, you removed Harry’s hand from the back of your head and held your lips at the base of his cock. You reach under his length and press on the space just behind his balls. With this, he lets out a wanton moan, and you moan at his pleasure. Finally, you feel his cum flood your mouth and you swallow it as quickly as you can. 

After what feels like an eternity, he stops cumming and you release your lips from his cock, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out to show him you’d swallowed it all. He smiled, laughing tiredly before you heard him wheeze out a few breaths.

“Baby-” You noticed your voice was raw so you gave yourself a chance to swallow before trying to speak again, “baby, are you okay? What do you need?”

At this point, Harry was really struggling to breathe. He was pointing in the general area of his bag, and as much as your hips ached, you tried your best to make your way over to it as quickly as possible. You dug around in his bag for a few seconds before your fingers wrapped around the cool plastic you’d been looking for. You pulled it out and raced back to your panting boyfriend, who was now sat on the bed, hunched over, with his pants around his ankles. If you hadn’t been so worried at the moment, you may have giggled at him lightheartedly, but for now you were guiding his inhaler into his mouth and dispensing the medicine as your heart thumped in your ears.

Once you saw his muscles relax and heard his breathing clear up, you sighed and flopped back onto the bed. You let him catch his breath for a moment before speaking up.

“So…” you started, “was that because of me, or…” you trailed off, looking up and meeting his eyes, which were nowhere near as dark as they had been earlier, and nowhere near as panicked as they’d been seconds ago. 

Harry huffed out a weak laugh, and pulled your body close to him. 

“You’re lucky I almost passed out just a minute ago, because if I hadn’t, you’d be in for the longest night of your life, pup.”

...

 idk if i like the ending? lmk what you think besties ily

harry taglist: @tpwkhenu @summerstylesx @sarcasticallywitty15 @strawberryystyles @ji5hine @harrysdimple05 @teenmagazine @iwanttobekilledtwice

[xsamsharons]

pride, prejudice and rain. - nikolai lantsov.

pairing: nikolai lantsov x reader

genre/warning: fluff, nikolai quoting pride and prejudice.

words: 1.6k

summary: a rainy night that consists of reading on the garden with nikolai, and slow dancing under a gazebo soaked from the rain.

a/n: ik p&p doesn't technically exist in the grishaverse, but we're gonna ignore that.

The sky was glistening with stars that were getting less and less visible every passing second due to the clouds that had started to cover them up, and the wind was blowing through the trees in the garden as you laid with your back pressed against its grass. If your parents could see you, they’d probably tell you your clothes would get tainted green, your hair would get tangled, and your hands would get dirty, but you didn’t care, and they weren’t there anyway. The only person other than you in the garden was Nikolai, and he was reading to you from where he sat behind you, with your head resting on his legs and his unoccupied hand resting on your hair and tracing circles every now and again.

“And then h- Oh, Saints!” you heard Nikolai’s narration be cut short from above you and you chuckled at his dramatic gasp, opening your eyes and looking up at him.

“What did he do to annoy you now?” you asked, soft smile on your lips as you took in his baffled expression, the moonlight giving his hair a darker glow but shining brightly on his hazel eyes.

“He’s criticizing her whole family while proposing to her!” he explained, and you snorted.

“Don’t worry, she won’t let him get away with it.” you told him, and he furrowed his brows but returned his attention back to the pages in front of him, his hand not leaving your hair.

The night sky was almost completely covered by clouds now, and the wind that had previously been just a refreshing summer breeze, quickly turned colder, making you shiver once it passed through your body. Wordlessly, Nikolai took off his coat with one hand, and draped it on top of your body softly, not taking his eyes off the book in front of him.

“Oh, that’s rough.” he winced as he read her reply. “Good for her, though.” he nodded, way too serious to be talking about a work of fiction, which caused you to laugh loudly.

“Good for her.” you agreed.

“We should convince someone in the palace to make a play about this.” he proposed, his voice excited at his idea. “Or we could just do it ourselves!” His hair was a mess of blonde curls as the wind continued to blow against it, and from below him, his face was even less visible. Nonetheless, you could tell the expression he wore on his face was one of excitement as he told you his idea, his hands making exaggerated motions with the book still in them.

“We could play every single character in the book.” you nodded, smiling at his happy demeanor.

“It’d be a two person show.” he finished with a smirk. “Guaranteed success.” he said sarcastically, causing you to laugh once again.

He stared down at your laughing form with a soft look on his face for a moment longer than necessary, and stored the memory away in his brain for when he needed something sweet to think about. He went back to the book after your laughter had died down, but the fond look on his face remained as he read.

After a few moments of more narration from him, you felt something wet land on your cheek, and at first you thought maybe the book had been a bit more emotional for Nikolai than you originally imagined it would be, but as you looked up at him and watched how a raindrop landed on your book, you stood up quickly and took the book from his hand.

“Hey! I wasn’t done.” he pouted, and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m not letting you ruin my copy of this book just because you haven’t finished a chapter.” you explained as he snatched the book back from your hands, and the confused expression on his face quickly dissolved once a drop of water landed right on top of his nose, making him look even more adorable than before. You smiled at the sight, and raised your eyebrows as he scrunched up his nose to get rid of the water. “Could’ve just used your hand.”

“But then i wouldn't be able to do this.” he used his free hand to yank yours in his direction and took off running through the garden. His laugh could be heard loud and clear even after the rain became stronger and drowned out almost every single sound in the palace, except for him - and your screams.

“Nikolai, if you don’t stop right now, I swear on the Saints.” you threatened, which caused him to laugh even louder.

He finally stopped his running once he reached the gazebo standing in the middle of a deserted spot away from the garden and hidden from the view of anyone in the palace grounds. He collapsed on the dry floor and you used the opportunity to hit him on the side with your book before collapsing right next to him. “What was that about?” you complained, out of breath.

“I didn’t want you to go back to your rain because of the rain.” he shrugged.

“So you made us both run in the rain, getting completely soaked, and ruining my book?” you asked, sitting up and looking down at him and his mess of a hair now that it was wet. He still looked as beautiful as ever even with his curls sticking to his face, which caused you to hit him again out of frustration.

“What was that one for?” he complained, sitting up as well and taking the book from your hands and placing it on the floor next to him to prevent you from using it against him again.

You ignored his question and instead went back to the previous topic. “You could’ve just asked me to come back to my room with me.”

“Yeah, but how boring is that?” he smirked and stood up, holding his hand out to you.

“I don’t trust your hand anymore.” you said, but took it anyway. You almost thought he was about to start running again when he yanked you to him, but instead, he placed his other hand on top of your waist and kept his previous one wrapped around your own. “What are you doing?” you said, your voice sounding weak and kicking yourself for it mentally.

He just shrugged. “Dancing.”

“There’s no music.” you said, but followed his steps nonetheless, your heart beating way so fast that you were sure if a heartrender were near, they would think someone was dying.

“You don’t say.” he faked surprise, and you rolled your eyes.

“You owe me a book, you know?” you glanced down at your disregarded book, wet and laying on the floor.

“I’m this close to you and you’re thinking about your book? Unbelievable.” he said sarcastically once again, and you looked down feeling guilty for the way your mind was trying to avoid thinking about exactly that. “Hey, i was kidding.” he leaned down to meet your gaze, any sarcastic tone vanished from his voice.

“I know.” that’s the problem, you thought.

You continued to look down instead of looking up at his face, and he caught onto your change of attitude pretty quickly. He hated to think that he was the reason you were suddenly feeling down and so he did the only thing he could think of: he spun you around and used your surprise to meet your eyes and yank you close to him once again.

“In vain I have struggled. It will not do.” he started, dramatically as you looked up at him with an amused expression on your face. “My feelings will not be repressed.” he continued to quote the book, causing you to let out a small laugh.

“Stop that.” you slapped his chest softly.

“You must allow me to tell you,” he chose to ignore your words and decided to finish the quote, an over dramatic tone to his words and look on his face. “how ardently I admire and love you.” he finished, his fake performer accent never once slipping, and you let out a loud laugh.

“That was terrible.” you continued to laugh, burrowing your head in the crook of his neck.

“I thought I kind of did okay.” he shrugged once your giggles had died down, a fond look on his face as he looked down at you.

“You need to practice your acting if we want to go through with the plans about the two person play, your highness.” you said, a grimace on your face. “And you should probably work on your self-perception as well.”

“How rude!” he gasped, his smile never leaving his face as he observed the smile that was still on yours. “I’ll practice on my acting as long as you help me.”

“Deal.” you smiled.

“Deal.” he repeated, spinning you around once more to put an end to the conversation and keep dancing with you.

As the rain outside the gazebo started to die down, instead of going back to your respective rooms, you just kept dancing and giggling with each other like two little kids avoiding their responsibilities. And even as you stumbled back into the palace at an ungodly hour in the morning, neither of you could bring yourselves to care about the bags under your eyes or the shivers cursing through your bodies as a result to your wet clothes, your smiles way too big to be thinking about anything else other than the other.

taglist: @subjecta13-thefangirl @wtfrae @goldengoddess @thegirlwiththeimpala (lmk if you want to be added!)

[wpdarlingpan]

I have a suggestion! What about pan or jerome valeska kiddnaping the reader/oc? Ik its pretty basic, but maybe pan kidnapps her to obress Emma and Jerome kiddnapps her because he is fond of her appearance yk? Maybe a little bit yandere style.

Thank u I hope you like my suggestions!

Thanks for my first suggestion! I hope it’s good :)

Please let me know if there is something I should fix for later suggestions. Be it my writing style, or if you’d prefer me to make an OC for the story.

Also TW with just a mention of how Greenwood is charged with Rape and Murder. It’s only the mention and will not be brought up further.

Now on with the story.

Background information: Y/N is the daughter of Jim Gordon and Barbara. She isn’t associated with Barbra since she went slightly crazy. She considers Lee like her mom. Her dad is very over protective since he’s seen the dark side of Gotham. She is 18 years old and somewhat shy/innocent from being protected by her dad.

“Bye dad! Love you!” Y/N yelled out as she approached the front door of their apartment. She was hoping to leave before her dad could give her the talk she always got before leaving the house but luck wasn’t on her side. She also felt the teeniest bit of guilt for rushing out so quickly as she and her dad had a good relationship and she knew he was just trying to protect her.

“Wait.” He spoke coming down the hallway into the room. He knew she didn’t like the fact she had to go over rules before she left the house but he’d been even more nervous since there was a breakout at Arkham.

“Yes?” Y/N questioned.

“Got your phone?”

“Yep.”

“Charged?”

“100%.”

“House key?”

“Definitely.”

“Emergency money?”

“Right in my pocket.”

“Pepper spray?”

“Yep and with the safety on so I don’t accidentally spray myself... again.” She spoke while looking down sheepishly.

“All right love you kiddo. Remember what I said about those people who broke out yesterday.”

Jim spoke while lightly kissing the side of her head and let her go to school.

“I remember. Also love you Always and forever dad. Don’t forget you have a date with Lee later!” Y/N reminded before closing the door to make her way to the Gotham High school. Her dad had bought her a car so she would be more safe getting to and from school as he didn’t trust city busses or taxis. She didn’t mind though it was nice and she was able to play some music while she drove.

Once she arrived at the school she saw the cheerleaders loading onto the bus. She was a photographer for the yearbook and it was one of their first football games for the year so they send her to photograph for the team. She was way to shy to actually try out for it. Once double checking if her car was locked she put the keys in her pocket and made her way to the bus with her camera looped around her neck.

She got on first as the rest of the cheerleads were talking outside the bus with the coach. Y/N sat in the very back with her feet up next to her as a sign of ‘do not sit by me’ she was rather short so it was comfortable as well. She then pulled out her phone and began to text her dad that she was safely on the bus. He replied with a quick ‘ok’ and ‘be safe’ then she started to play a game on her phone as the cheerleaders began to load onto the bus. Once everyone was on the bus they drove away from the school at the cheerleaders were practice their cheers. The. Whole. Ride. It was beginning to get on her nerves as she preferred the peace and quiet but she knew that being on a bus with cheerleaders would be anything but. She grabbed one side of her headphones and began to play music. She lightly tapped her fingers to it and looked out the window.

They drove for about 20 more mins before they were stopped. A red truck had pulled in front of them and people approached the truck. She spotted guns in their hands. She quickly dialed her dads phone and begged for him to pick up.

“Y/N? What is it?” He could tell by her erratic breathing that something was wrong.

“There are people with guns on the bus! They just shot the driver. We are on (random Gotham street) please hurry!”

“I’m on my way! Try and stay on the line.” She said a quiet okay she a boy with red hair entered the bus. Jim quickly ordered police officers to make their way towards the scene.

“I want you all to know... this was a very difficult decision for us.” The boy spoke as he waved around his guns as if it was a toy. Y/N had already ducked down in her seat after a different person had handcuffed them to the seats. She wanted to stay out of of the seemingly ringleaders point of view as she watching her phone continue to hold the call with her dad and her headphone was in on low in order for him not to hear the phone. She still listened from her other ear to be aware.

“It was between you and a senior citizen bingo party.

In the end, we decided to skew a little younger.” He spoke while putting the gun to one of the girls heads. He walked towards the back of the bus as he continued his speech. She heard him coming and quickly tucked her phone into her pocket along with the headphones.

“Youth won the day. Sorry.”

He had reached the back to the bus and was about to turn around when he saw her tucked into the seat. She was very small and if he didn’t know this was a high school bus he would have thought she was a kid. She looked up at him with terrified doe eyes and he looked at her with a smile. He liked her. The innocence in her eyes that made him swoon. She clearly wasn’t like his whore of a mother. She would make a good partner.

“And who might you be.” He spoke while he used his charm. He lifted her chin up lightly with his unoccupied hand as the gun still rested in the other. She scooted as far away as she could with the handcuffs keeping her in place.

“Y-Y/N.” She stuttered out in fear. She was trying to hide not stand out. He moved her hand away from the start of the handcuffs and brought up his gun to which she began squirming at as it was raised.

“Shh, just going to get these off.” He attempted to comfort but it was honestly more frighting what was he going to do.

He shot the handcuffs and the bullet got lodged into the seat as she was detached from the seat but still had the cuffs around her wrist.

“You’ll be coming with me Doll.” He spoke while tugging her up from the seat as the cheerleaders continued to cry at the situation.

“No!” She attempted to struggle but she was too small to get away. But he held onto her. He tugged her out of the bus before giving her to Aaron. Since he didn’t trust Greenwood with his girl. Not like he trusted Aaron any more but he wasn’t charged for rape.

Aaron obeyed and tightly held her as Jerome put back on his crazy face and went back onto the bus.

“Give me an "O"!” He shouted to make fun of them.

“I said, give me a "O".” He shot the roof of the bus making the cry harder.

“O!” The cried out through their tears.

“ Give me an "N".” He spoke again with enthusiasm

“N!”

“Give me another "O"!”

“O!”

“What does that spell?” He questioned while greenwood handed him a hose that would spray gasoline out from the truck they had stolen.

"Oh, no!"

He walked up and down the isles of the bus and sprayed each and everyone one of them with gasoline while they all screamed in fear.

He finished and walked out of the bus and grabbed a lighter from his pocket.

“Ready? Okay!” Jerome said as he attempted to make the lighter work. The flame wouldn’t appear and Y/N continued to struggle in Aaron’s arms but for the man it was nothing. Dobkins was bouncing in his place with anticipation.

But it never lit.

“This is so embarrassing.” Jerome spoke harshly. He was making a fool out of himself in front of his girl.

“Anyone got a light?” He requested from the group of cheerleaders. Y/N was questioning if he really expected them to give him one since he was trying to kill them. He walked off after they all cried out a ‘No’ and winked at Y/N as she looked at him making her glance away hoping for her dad to hurry.

“I do. I got...” Dobkins replied while reaching into his own pocket to grab a lighter.

As Dobkins went to hand Jerome the lighter sirens sounded and police pulled onto the scene. She began struggling more as Aaron held her with one hand and shot with the other with little to no aim.

She saw as her dad got out of the car and quickly held up his gun. His heart stopped as he saw his daughter in the hands of one of the Maniax.

“Stand your ground, boys. They can't shoot at a bus.” Jerome smugly told the crew. He glanced at his doll to see her struggling still while eyeing one of the officers.

“Hold your fire! Hold your fire!” Jim quickly yelled in fear one something hitting his daughter or the bus.

“Dad!” She yelled out as she attempted to kick Aaron but did little to no damage.

Jeromes eyes widened with surprise. Jim Gordon had a daughter? This would be two birds with one stone. He smirked as Jim looked panicked.

“Aaron, Greenwood, get the truck started. And pass me my girl.” Jerome demanded. Y/N was shoved towards Jerome who caught her with a arm wrapped around her waist. He spotted her phone in her pocket and tossed it onto the pavement so they couldn’t be tracked nor could she call.

The officers had ducked behind their cars as Jerome shot at them.

“We're gonna blow this barbecue stand, huh Doll?” He told her as he tugged her towards the truck as her dad tried to follow before he was shot at again.

Greenwood sat on the outside holding onto the bus with the hose.

“Light 'em up!” Jerome spoke as he turned around and made a round motion with his arm to Dobkins who struggled with a lighter as well.

Jerome laughed manically as he got into the truck with her on his lap to which she blushed making him smirk and they began to drive off leaving Dobkins with the police.

Soon they were out of view and Jim quickly drove the bus away from the flames that had fought when the lighter was dropped. He needed to get his daughter back.

Y/N had a blind fold put on her as they left the scene to head back to Galivants building. Once they arrived Jerome picked her up bridal style and carried her into the building. He was stopped by the man himself as he headed to his room.

“And whose this?” He questioned quite poshly. She couldn’t recognize the voice but it seemed familiar.

“My girl.” He replied looking Galivant in the eye with a murderous look, daring him to say she couldn’t stay.

“Fine. But she stays in your room. Wouldn’t suggest having her out here with Greenwood.” He spoke before walking away to his office. Jerome laughed at even the thought of letting Greenwood anywhere near her. He brought her into his room and sat her on the bed. He quickly locked the door with a key to which he placed in his pocket before removing the blindfold.

Y/N blinked to adjust to the light and when she did she quickly scrambled back on the bed, away from the boy in front of her.

“Oh Y/N your never getting away from me. Not now, not ever.” He spoke before laughing crazily making her whimper and her eyes water. She curled up in a ball in an attempt to shield herself away from the boy.

“Well Doll, welcome to your new home. By the way, the names Jerome. Jerome Valeska.”

Y/N began to shake, her dad had told her about his interview. She should have for the hint from the fact of his unsettling laughter.

She was utterly screwed.

Let me know if you’d like a quick part 2

Also, please suggest things to write 😁

[rrazor]

what is your skincare routine 🥺 plus imagine doing face masks with ur hq boy 😩😩 pleeaaaaaaseeee manifest

my routine is just a bunch of serums + moisturizer topped off with an obsession with cosrx :^) 

here’s some of my personal h/c’s about their routine and how u fit in 💖

kuroo overexfoliated when he was 16 and that’s when he decided to get into skincare 🤡 but you’re really the one who ties it all together and finishes it 😤 has a bunch of blackheads and is hesitant about using acids but trusts you when you rec a bha (salicylic) and to his surprise it works!! you teach other about ingredients and formulations (more teaching on your end since he’s such an overachiever and is in a million different things) but his skin really goes 🌺🌺 when he’s got a routine down.

another amazing boyfriend to do self-care days with because he needs them so much 😭💞 spends the whole day by your side at home doing whatever whenever and holding your hand the whole way through 💖 does the spoon in the fridge technique to depuff his eyes after a late night and always sends u morning selfies with them on his face all “Good morning my Fated One 🥄👄🥄” 💀💀💀

bokuto already has a skincare routine kudos of his sisters when you start dating and only gets back into doing it regularly when he learns you like doing it too 💕 he wants to spend more time with you as if he isn’t already glued to your hip 😭🤚💗💗

but he slaps his face really hard like really hard 😵 you have to teach him to gently dab and work the product into the skin but he sits like a good boy on the edge of the tub and closes his eyes for you 💛💛 keeps his hands on your hips too ☺️ gets acne here and there and sticks on the pimple patches you give him while telling you “y'know, babe, since you gave these to me, it’s like ur kissing me all night long!!! 🥺🥰😚💕” kiss him now pls

akaashi looks like he has his life together but his skincare routine is 😬 uses bar soap and the same anti-aging face lotion as his mom but his skin is 🌹🌸🌺✨he’s skeptical when he tries out new products but he comes around pretty quickly when he notices how less fatigued he looks 💀

he loves doing masks with you and likes to do one in the morning and one at night because you’ve got him hooked now 😤 he’s so dewy oh my god man is literally gleaming like a diamond 💎✨what have u done….. i bet he has a gua sha and rolls your face for you too 🥺 he’s so gentle omg stop…. looks at u with the softest look in his eyes when you giggle at how funny the sheet masks make the two of you look 💞❤️💕💓💝

oikawa while it’s universally thought in fanon that oikawa is a skincare junkie, i’d say that he’s more so really picky and meticulous. he has specific steps he follows to the t and knows how and when to bring in a new product for any seasonal weather and other changes in his skin. he’s not necessarily going to try your products unless he’s convinced they’ll work for him (everyone’s different after all), but he’s definitely open to you trying his and sharing what you both know 😤💗💗

easily one of the best boyfriends to have self care days with: nails, hair, face, online shopping, you name it, he’ll do it with you 🥰💄💅 i think he hates hyaluronic acid and avoids it like the plague lmfao one of his favourite ways to pass the evenings is the two of you together gossiping with your masks on and eating snacks 🌹🥰🥰🌹

iwaizumi lmfao this mf’er is sooo handsome 🥵 so i say oily skin that’s prone to breakouts 😇 yeah i think iwa struggles with acne and his scars, but he gets lucky that he grows out it by third/fourth year university 😘 uses a basic cleanser marketed towards acne 🤢🤢 and some moisturizer🧴he doesn’t trust oikawa with skincare recommendations because one of the product he gave him had glycolic acid in it and iwa’s skin said 👹

he’s reluctant but lets you help him with his skin and it makes a notable improvement throughout your relationship 👍✨gets heart palpitations when you grab his face and kiss him all over 💘💘 and genuinely thinks you’re one of the best thing to have happened to him when you coo “so handsome hajime 💕” yeah i just think he’s a sucker for you saying his first name lmao

matsukawa he has pretty decent skin, maybe a bit oily and will get spots here and there but overall puberty said nah this one’s cool 😎👍 so he comes in with very basic knowledge about skincare. though bless his heart, he tries out a bunch of stuff with you and is always open to doing masks and trying out new products with you 🥺💖

his skin is pretty resilient so watch him go 😨🤭 when you breakout and he doesn’t jgjebnfkwzl he kisses ur acne scars and spots tho so dw he madly in love ok? 😘🥰❤️ once he starts seeing the changes, he keeps up with the routine you made together for him but he likes to beg for you to do it for him “aw, c’mon babe don’t u want your hands all over this? 😩🤚💕💓💦” i hate him

hanamaki he has a mini routine and knows the general steps from his older sister and because i firmly believe he has dry, sensitive skin. he avoids fragrances, alcohols and all the sulphates and parabens but weirdly his skin is okay with silicones. anyways, he’s the one that introduces you to these amazing korean face masks and now you’re both hooked, spending weekends and days off at his house walking around with ur masks on all 💓👽👽💓

a little bit harder to work with in terms of exploration with your products but he finds his cheeks pinking 💖 and heart beating a little harder 🥰 when you go out of your way to find products that fit his criteria and gets rlly sappy when you start using them too 😭💓💕 he buys the bigger bottles for himself and small bottles for u because he’s whipped (and funny) that way 😐💖

kita looks like he and his grandma would some diy face masks together 🥰❤️ he’s got a basic cleanser and moisturizer but doesn’t do much else. spends a lot of time learning about the products and right steps so he can be a useful partner when you go shopping together 🥺💘💞

he comes to love oils, especially squalane and rosehip seed oil. also becomes a vitamin c junkie 😤 he’s a stickler for patch-testing and comes to really enjoy the whole skincare process in the morning and evenings as his own me time. really appreciates and thanks you for sharing this part of your daily life with him 🥺💘💞💞💖 invites you over to do masks with his grandma 😘

atsumu yeah he gets his beautiful skin from his mom and literally everything else because his mom is 🌸✨in both personality and looks. exfoliates three to four times a week and still looks amazing so you really have to wonder what his skin is doing and what yours isn’t 😔

when he finds the products that work™️ for him (kudos to you), he genuinely cannot stop admiring the shine of his skin after someone points it out he’s all 👁👃👁✨ and calls you up “babe ‘m beautiful did’ja know look at me look” 😐 likes to do skincare routines together but rushes through his so that he can do other stuff with you 😭💗💖💕 hates it when you push him away and don’t let him kiss you while your products are settling 🥺☹️💔

osamu my guy here is also blessed with naturally occurring bacteria that gives him beautiful skin like life rlly isn’t fair 😟😟 he doesn’t know much but lets you do whatever and loves loves loves it when you put all the products on him 🥺❤️ sits down between your legs all 💗🐶💗 prefers mud masks over sheet ones and likes to smear yours on for u 🥰

he comes to love skincare, not as much as you but enjoys how his face feels after he’s all moisturized and such. though he never remembers sunscreen so please carry some with you 😭 he buys you snacks and sneaks kisses while u wait for your products to settle on ur face 💖💖 uses a jade roller in the mornings as he checks his phone because it feels nice 👍✨✨

suna sensitive skin but relatively normal in terms of oiliness. ik he steals his younger sister’s products if they’re close in age 💀 he has very little idea how to get started so when he jumps in and tries one of yours he breaks out really bad and curses you lmfaoooo 👿👿👹🤡

ok but once he gets a decent routine in, he does his best to keep up with it and it helps!! his skin feels less tight and more supple so he might love you a little more for that 🙄🤚💖 he prefers sheet masks and lets you clip his curtain bangs to the side✨ also looks like the kinda guy who likes to sit on the balcony/patio with his mask on and soak up the sun in the mornings after you both have your sunscreen on 🌼🌼

ushijima his skin is dehydrated but he doesn’t know it, has accepted the oiliness of his skin as a symptom of his athletics 😔 he’s got a bunch of expensive luxury products given to him by his mom and she’s told him to use them but he doesn’t know what the right order is so he puts on an occlusive first before anything else 😭😭😭

genuinely appreciates you so much when you take the time to teach him about everything and even asks if you could give him some notes so that he can refer to them when you’re not by his side 🥺💗💕💖 joins you in your product endeavours and gives you succinct but helpful feedback on what he likes and doesn’t like 😤 likes to hold you while u do masks together 🌼 and rests his head on urs 😭🌸💕

tendou uses whatever he’s got at home and what his mom gets him 🤷‍♀️ spots here and there but otherwise pretty clear skin. he’s open to trying anything and everything with you because he’s just really happy to spend time with you 🥰💞💞

sits really close to you and let’s you have free reign of his face when you sleep over at his place!! he giggles a lot because it tickles but never asks you to stop 🥺💜 thanks you for helping him and making him look so pretty 🌷✨looks like he’d be allergic to propolis/honey-based ingredients...

semi handsome man…. another one that looks dehydrated to me but he’s trying just please help him 😭🤚 he’s too nervous to go skincare shopping on his own because of the sheer amount of selection available 😢 tags along with you like a little puppy when you go with him 🐶💘

i feel like he has closed comedones 🤔 he tries out your retinol and keeps up with it when you told him some people got rid of theirs using it and…… it worked 😳🌟✨ thinks you’re a skincare goddess now lmfao 😤👊 when girls in university ask him about his skin, he just calls you and puts you on speaker because “my baby worked rlly hard so she should get all the credit” 😭💖💖

sakusa i think rosacea but also wealthy parents who had access to numerous dermatologists who nipped it in the bud as soon as they saw it 🤑 anyways he’s got near perfect skin lol goes through periods of dryness and keeps a strict regimen of products 👌🌟 swears by aloe vera and keeps some with him at all times 💗

though i do think you gently push him to introduce serums and essences into his routine (which is basic, but covers all his bases). you let him experiment and he finds one from cosrx that he considers a holy grail 😳 he likes doing ur skincare routine for you and you sit on the toilet seat and grin up at him 🥰 he blushes but doesn’t look away and might or might not admit he loves to be in such close contact with you 💘💘

hoshiumi kinda brutal with the way he goes about it; it looks like he’s beating the product in 💀👊👊 uses bar soap on both his face and body and wonders why his skin is dry and tight after showers “what? doesn’t that mean you didn’t clean all the gross oil off?” 😶😐😑 u gotta start from scratch with this guy 🤐

he pays attention to you but also doesn’t and finds it a bit of a hassle to go through five different products so he settles for a really basic routine 🥱 has one really fancy bottle of serum he takes with him to games and such and goes “my girlfriend gave it to me what don’t you have something like this 🤔” before putting it on if anyone asks 💀🤚💗 a full on chad 💪

hirugami he definitely has a skincare routine…. handsome 🤤 though i think he dislikes the feeling of sheet masks on his face; they feel too goopy and he doesn’t like how slimey they are. he prefers just using a short list of serums to keep his skin healthy and plump 💖✨likes hypoallergenic and fragrance-free products 👌

had acne back in middle school and a bit in first year. feel like he goes through a flare up in third year 😇🙃 anyways he likes standing next to u in the washroom doing ur routines side by side 🥰 wears those fluffy animal ear headbands with you and puts on your lip balm for you 💓💓 his dog came up and licked u across the face one time 😭 he almost choked with how hard he was laughing at u 😔 but he helped u redo it 😭💝

[friendofflowersandfrogs]

Hello lovelies! So, you don’t have to read below the line. I’m not expecting people to. I’m just in one of those late night moods ya know and I need to get a little off my chest so. Little huge vent time. Tw: loneliness? Some Swearing.

*deep breath*

I’m so touch starved rn 😅 which is funny and like aw ok until I’m like actually kinda depressed over it. I’m so fcking lonely irl.

My friends are…I love them so much. But I have a big friend group. And…I didn’t choose them? I kinda got dragged in freshman year by a mutual friend which was fine bc I was very shy and wasn’t doing all that great on my own, and said mutual friend was my bff for a long time. More on them later. (For this purpose, I’m gonna call them B). And like I said I love my friends now. But I’m not a big group kinda person. It stressed me out over the year. I tried to spread myself so thin, spending a little time with everyone, getting along with everyone even if not everyone in the general group got along anyways. And because if that, I feel like I got close to no one. I’m just above acquaintance status with everyone. I’m the friend that walks behind or in the grass by the sidewalks. If I don’t organize the event, I’m forgotten. This is partially my fault, I’m fully aware. But god I regret how I did my freshman year. I have a big group of friends. And I’m so fcking lonely. I have no one who is MY person, ya know? No one to make pillow forts with, no one to cry to. I’m sure I could with any of them and I know many of them do love me too, but I’m still a secondary thought. They wouldn’t come to me if they saw me down. Not like I always always go to them no matter how shitty I personally feel. A sentiment that is making me a little bitter and part of why I’m so ready to step away. They aren’t toxic friends, but they promote toxic behaviors for me and my emotions without realizing. They aren’t healthy for me. A big friend group like that… it’s too much for me and no where near enough return.

Now, I did mention B earlier. My best and closest friend of ages?? What about them?? It’s taken me 2 years to realize it, and even then I’m still struggling with accepting it, but that friendship was hella toxic. God I was in such denial fck now I’m crying lmao but they don’t mean it!!! Which is the worst part!!! They’re is nothing they can do. They have a lotttt of mental health issues going on and I have poured every ounce of my energy into helping them and it was never enough. It’s not my fault, I know, and I not theirs either. They need help beyond anyone. A mental hospital maybe (I mean this in the best way. Not like I want to get rid of them but as in they need extreme help). And once I realized how taxing this was, I stepped back. B was making a ton of friends, doing much better than I was in that department, so Ik they’d be safe. But I just…I couldn’t do it anymore? And I get absolutely awful about it, but…I did start to feel better. I physically had more energy. I was in a much better mental place. I was doing really well, for the first time in years. Which absolutely sucked for my guilt. And worse, B felt me pulling away. They begged me to stay, to always be there for them. And like a wimp, I promised. I know I can’t keep that promise. But I did. And I will always love them. So much. That part of the promise I really meant. B says all I need to do is be there for them, not even say anything. Just hugs. But hugs aren’t enough to sustain a friendship.

We used to talk about everything. We were two peas in a pod in middle school, B and I. We had the same interests, the same social awkwardness, music and food taste, and love of cuddles. It was perfect. And then we grew older. We changed slowly. Now, we couldn’t be more different. I cant sustain this friendship solely on hugs because I don’t know what to say anymore. We are just. Idk I could hug B for hours and in the end I’d still feel lonely cuz that’s not really human connection anymore? We are ready to grow apart as friends. Except emotionally they’re not. Not to mention thier family. I’m their second child. God it sucks but sometimes they treat me better than their own kid (prob cuz it’s not their place to discipline me. They are just giving me the loving parent stuff they know my own mother doesn’t give). How can I just say goodbye? I plan to still keep in touch, but it’s never going to be the same.

Not to mention my real mom despises all my friends. Because they’re gay. She’s empathic, which has been a source to a lot of trauma for me -_- which is why it’s hard to come to terms with the fact I’m also probably empathic (Which explains a lot of how I feel above). She forced me out of the closet one day, and I admitted it, and…things have never been the same. She says I’m not gay, I’m just absorbing other peoples energy and taking it on, so I think I am gay (an actual empathic thing, don’t feel like going into it but yeah). It’s probably gaslighting but I think she believes it. And sometimes I wonder if she’s right. I don’t think she is? I mean, no one in my constant vicinity is aromantic, especially when I realized I was. So that at least is all me. But because of this, my mom has never met my friends. I go to painstaking lengths and stress to keep them apart. Oh she knows about them. She can feel the gay in my energy or something and she knows about them apparently. She also questions me every time I watch gay media even if she doesn’t know. Cuz apparently h can absorb energy from tv and music too. Makes it kinda scary to watch the owl house lol.

And ofc it’s summer so I haven’t seen any friends anyways in ages. Girls at my dance don’t really care about me. So the loneliness is kicking in full gear. So next year, I’m going to try to make new friends. Im going to try to make the friends. Despite it being the middle of highschool. People who I can laugh to or cry to and am not constantly stressing over trying to make conversation or keep the friendship stable or keep the friend stable. Maybe straighter friends so I can bring them home safely…People I can have a movie kind of friendship with. I realize that may be unrealistic. But it’s summer, and I’m lonely and touch starved and low key surviving on the longing for this dream. And I can do this with my moots of, but it’s not the same. I’m a very touchy person, and we can pretend all we want, but most of us live 1000s miles away…

Shout out to Amphibia of all fcking shows 😅😭. God I love that little frog show. It kept me going through this past year and it’s given me some great advice and I’m going to need it this autumn. The theme is about change and growing for those who don’t know, and the general theme and ending of it is how my life is going, and will go if I have any day in the fall. It…it helped me come to terms with the toxicity with B too.

God this was so long. If you are here, reading this now…wow. I love you so much. Honey wtf are you doing here. 😅💖💖💖 thanks for listening. Im fine. Im really fine.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s 4th Birthday Story Event: Before the Clock Strikes Midnight

REEEEEEEE Ik it was a long time ago but life has been a [redacted], so I figured better late than never HAHA

So without further ado, anybody who’s curious feel free to click for more--I’ll put it under a cut for spoilers as per usual~

So in this story it’s the usual, a few days before his birthday, and they’re discussing a bump in the road. Essentially, it appears a friend of Comte’s is going to be celebrating a wedding, and as such he’s going into the suburbs/affluent part of the region to be able to attend. It’s only a few hours away from the mansion, but he will be gone for a few days with the arrangements made for his stay. 

While this wouldn’t typically be an issue, MC has some things to take care of and opts out of attending with him (preparing for his bday probably LMAO) and Comte is immediately big sad. My favorite dramatic fool is already pouting, though he fully accepts and respects her decision. Besides which, he fully intends to be back in time to celebrate his birthday as well. He notes that he’s always admired how driven and independent she is, and has no intention of getting in the way of that. He’s just going to miss her, is all.

He says as much, figuring there’s no point in hiding it: “I really wanted to bring you with me to attend…but I suppose it simply can’t be helped” … “That’s not it…I guess I’m just wondering if you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you while I’m away.” 

And MC’s just like “Aw, it’s okay it’ll only be a few days.” While Comte’s response is a very mature, high-pitched whining sound at a frequency only King (Theo’s dog) and Theo himself can hear. When MC tries to reassure him once more, his Hamlet impression continues: “Even the prospect of a few days away from you feels unbearable.” 

Naturally, as any man do that loves his wife, he draws her close and proceeds to bang the living daylights out of her. I would offer details, but I have no deets to give beyond: [Well MC, it appears I won’t be letting you get much sleep tonight.] 

Brief intermission for the vague sounds of fangirl cardiac arrest. 

The scene opens again to him doing his walk of shame (the slut) down the walkway and into the carriage that will take him to his friend’s house. His thoughts carry the regret of burdening her with his desire, though MC is pretty much on cloud nine and unable to stop thinking about the heady night they shared in a good way. Bruh and the sly look when he figures out why she looks like that--I’m boutta call the police, he is going to make women and men alike act up. 

MC scrambles to cool his already returning desire by insisting he will be late if he indulges any further, and he laughs and agrees easily–albeit with the slightest hint of reluctance. My favorite part in this exchange is that he kisses her forehead, adding that it’s because she’s the most adorable person in the world to him (a moment of silence for our uwus). 

Fast forward to Comte trying to get home after the festivities are over. Problem is, it’s been raining like a mOTHERBLEEPER, and as such carriages have no safe way to traverse the roads at the moment. He waited out the first day as patiently as possible, but after the second–and no sign of stopping–his Leeroy Jenkins instincts kick in. He notes to the coachman that he’s aware he’s asking a lot, but they fully intend to take the long way which invites the least risk–and the rain is ebbing, even if the progress is slow. 

It’s interesting because there’s another echo of his main story in this moment. He essentially showcases a desperation to return before the day ends, though without context it’ll probably seem a little strange, so I’ll do my best to explain. Basically, in his main story, MC notes that she doesn’t really care how different they are. Different time, different species, different experiences, so on and so forth. She hammers home that what matters is that the present is something that they actively share. It’s theirs. And no amount of divisions he desperately tries to draw will change that fundamental reality. 

And it’s a little moving to see how deeply he takes it to heart? I think it’s one of those wonderful phenomena, personally–the way a person can influence how you think and act with their sentiments. Sometimes someone says precisely what it is we need to hear, and it changes us–while it can be for the worse, it can also be for the better. He notes that he spent so many birthdays; among the people serving his house when he was little, raising hell with his friends in his younger days, so on and so forth. Not unlike Leonardo, he says that after so many “special” days the faces become a blur, the festivities lose their luster. It’s just another day, at this point. 

Note, one interesting thing here that stands out to me is that I feel like this is a reflection of both of their larger struggles. Where Comte can’t stand the relentless flow of time rendering him the only constant (and something of a ghost, never fully present), Leonardo can’t bear birthdays because it means remembering people who still mean the world to him, but are long gone. People he can never see again, never laugh with again, never share his life with again. And I think that’s a very profound pain, an anguish that just keeps on settling its weight. (Oh, Sisyphus…)

Comte’s is similar, but different. He actively works to keep his distance-- unlike Leonardo, he approaches immortality in the pragmatic way. He knows getting close will hurt, so he opts out of that–keeps a step behind, an easy smile on his face. Betrays only fragments to anyone, always has his guard up. But the downside of being so guarded means you eventually feel hollowed out and alone; nobody truly knows or understands you. There is a distinct loneliness in that approach, where memories only become reminders of how nothing ever improves and how bereft you are of warmth. 

Leonardo, at least, gets to have the joy of being known from time to time. But loss and estrangement from those people means double the pain in the long run, because he loved them fully. Comte chooses to live in the cold to protect himself, but ends up in a kind of catch-22; the cost of forgoing loss means a constant deadening of his own feelings. It means living in a kind of fog, where there is a distinct discomfort in the silent obscurity of your own heart. 

There’s something I’ve come to believe in my short course of living, so I guess I still need time to determine how true it is. But…I feel like, when people live this way, where who they are is a lie or it’s at the very least carefully concealed, we in part start to become that lie. I think it’s fascinating because Comte seems to have so much personality to him. He’s dramatic, he’s thoughtful, he has a sense of mischief about him, he has strong ideals, and he has an even more ironclad moral grounding. And yet, when he talks about himself, he always uses descriptions that hinge on emptiness. Like he’s worth so little, worth nothing. And that’s what I mean–he’s been trying so hard to glide on the surface that he has come to believe he really is equivalent to something that ephemeral. Like there’s nothing more inside him, or if there is, that it will never be worthy of much. I think it really speaks to the ways behavior impacts the psyche, even though the opposite tends to be considered the only possible cause and effect relationship. 

He’s so determined to live for and in the future while he’s in the present, that he forgets to enjoy himself and really live. And while that approach is certainly understandable, I do think he loses parts of himself along the way. Only to be rediscovered and placed back into his hands by MC: [Today–this moment–our now, I don’t want to miss it for anything.] And that's not even touching on how quick she is to make them a we; she's not letting him keep that distance. It’s not “you have the ability to share this day with me” it’s “we’re here and in this together.”

I feel like what I love about this is that it’s not only about how sweet he is on MC, but also about how much he’s truly living again for the first time. His defenses are slowly inching their way down, he’s letting himself hope and want things and look forward to things again. The thing about being a responsible person is that–while responsibility is all well and good–sometimes you become so mired in doing the right thing and planning the most optimal outcomes that you just aren’t thinking of yourself anymore. That is, if you ever were to begin with. He went from the careful cultivation of a life as an aristocrat, to a life that spoke of more freedom and fun beyond those iron wrought gates, before he returned to the structure of what he knew. Freedom speaks to him I’m sure–we all need it in some measure to survive. But I do think a good portion of that was unfulfilling for him after a point. It was only feeding the void that was beginning to form inside him. He was instinctively retreating into himself to avoid pain, and in doing that the only result was feeling like a coward and a fake. He wasn’t happy, he wasn’t able to be himself, and nothing was fulfilling–every single day just another forward march. 

I think it comes as no surprise he took up Vlad’s initial invitation so willingly. 

But then I digress, back to the story. There’s another timeskip and it finds him racing down the hall of the mansion. He’s hoping to make it in time but knows he’s racing against the clock, and fully expects MC to be asleep by this point in the night. Midway along his path he thinks he spots MC and falters in his step, blinking. He decides to hang back, watching the figure enter his room with a great deal of curiosity and resists every urge to burst in after her. He hears MC speak into his pillow, her voice muffled but clearly despondent: “I miss you, Comte. I hope you get back home soon…” 

Comte pretty much dies right there. I literally have no better explanation for it. He freezes, his heart sputters and stops. He’s just completely taken aback. 

And then, naturally, he goes about feral with desire as is his modus operandi: “Oho, I heard something incredibly cute just now. Were you also having a hard time spending so long apart?”

MC: “…!”

[Startled, she turns around and her eyes widen and widen.]

MC: “Comte, how...”

Comte: “Took a detour in areas with less rain.”

MC: “?? Wouldn’t that still be hard in weather like this?”

Comte: “I told the coachman I wanted to see you as soon as possible. Even if it was only for a second, I wanted to spend today with you…”

[Everything I was thinking while in the carriage spills out of me long before I can help it. I am reminded again of just how utterly irreplaceable an existence MC is in my life.]

Comte: “Even so, it seems interesting that I would find you in my bed”

MC: “...! A--Ah, I’m so sorry for entering without permission!”

[I quickly grab hold of her before she can scramble out of my bed, coaxing her to sink back into the sheets.]

In between a lot of intense making out and [redacted], the larger overtone is that her reciprocated ardor just destroys him inside:

MC: “It was...because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about wanting to see you…”

Comte: “!”

[You know just how to drive me mad with desire.]

Comte: “I’m the same...the first thing I did was look for you. Even though it was only a few days, your voice, your body, everything...I missed you”

[Because today, our ‘now’--I never want to lose a single moment with you as long as you’re by my side...]

Comte: “I’m so happy to be able to be with you, right here and right now.”

It gets funny too because Comte is trying to take it slow, but when she tells him “Happy birthday” and goes on to say she was so glad to greet the day he was brought into the world by his side, he just loses all control LMFAO. It ends with them getting more heated and [redacted], to the point where he doesn’t even hear the clock strike midnight. 

And if him being the cutest and sexiest romantic wasn’t obvious enough, he spends the next morning just sighing blissfully with her in his arms:

[The next morning, when I wake up, MC is still fast asleep. I mean, given she only fell asleep a few hours ago. I’m still reveling in the afterglow of a sweet night filled with her cries, the way she looked at me and held me. MC...]

[I relax to the sound of her breathing steady with sleep, stroking gently at her hair as I hug her from behind.]

Comte: “I’ve had countless birthdays. In an endless life, I was convinced it was just a day that would come and go every time.”

Comte: “It was only after meeting you that I could understand there was no such thing as an overlapping or identical moment. I don’t want to miss a single second by your side...that’s what I think now.”

[I admit the truth of my heart, brushing a kiss against her cheek. Over and over and over again, showering her in my affection--]

But dun dun dun!!! MC was awake the whole time, so when she fidgets a little at how ticklish his kisses are, he 👁

[Oh, I see. Well then, two can play at that game...]

Comte: “Your punishment is to stay in my arms just as we are...how’s that?”

He gets his mischievous (and hilarious) revenge for being revealed (HORNY TIME), though it’s so suffused with love it’s hard to call it revenge hahaha. She reminds him to go easy on her because they have his birthday party to attend later, and he agrees~

Honestly after such killer hurt/comfort spice fluff, I can only tremble at the thought of what his 5th year bday story will be

It’s either going to be Some Angst^TM or even more killer fluff, and either way that means my days are numbered