#anyway i do think marina is nice though. though i think she can get a bit selfish and self preservation is like. one of the big things with

[swordmaid]

i love serious businesswoman pirate marina she's so real to me, love that for her !

yeah like she doesn't fuck around when it comes to her business!! she's a professional pirate - and merc on the side - she has a reputation to uphold!!!

like to me, the ~whole saving the world from the elven gods business~ is another gig she signed up for so she's treating it like one. she's very practical and pragmatic, and she does whatever she can to succeed in this particular endeavor. like she hardly banters with people when she's in business mode lmfao the only time she jokes around is when she's out of her office hours.

one thing that i wish for though is for the dialogues to be much more mean/stricter. i've gone past the weisshaupt quest and i wish you can be more mean on lucanis for flopping LMFAO like sorry king but to me marina would be sm harder on him since she hired him for that job but he didn't do it right, so what is he good for? if he can't do the one thing she asks for then she has no need for him, and she'd just get someone else. likewise i don't see her being sad about the prospect of davrin sacrificing himself when he's going to kill the archdemon bc that's like. why he's in here in the first place LMFAO like to me, marina would be like well this is what you signed up for 🤷 like she detaches her personal feelings from business. like in a personal level ofc she would be sad if davrin did die but in the end that comes with the job u know.... like she's so serious business woman to me she'd thrive in succession

[nephilimbrute]

ok since you guys don't know anything about my agent 8's personality, i'm doing a huge infodump on them. enjoy

Agent 8; they/them, nonbinary — 24 as of current time, in a relationship with Agent 4 and Captain 3

they're pretty, but also one of the worst people you'll meet. everyone who met them has had something terrible happen to them, basically a bad omen...yet they still think they're a saint! 8 is very narcissistic, but also very self-critical. they think they can be the only one to do something, that they're the best at it...but they know this is wrong, so they hate themself for it

they think they're a very fragile and innocent being, like a deer. they want to live a calm and steady life, no excessively loud or overwhelming sounds and music, just them and their close ones. they enjoy writing poetry and creating art to the likes of vincent van gogh, but also impressionism in general. they have a very bad memory now, so they want to capture the present time as best as they can if it ever gets worse. often times, 8 thinks about any big events that are coming up in the near future (concerts, festivals, etc.). they don't like to think about the future outside of these things (was team present if that wasn't obvious)

they used to be full of emotion, expressing and voicing their thoughts well. but slowly over time, they've became numb to most things to prevent themself from being embarassed by...sadness. they think being upset is embarassing, and are easily annoyed by gloomy people. they have such little sympathy, but it still exists. they are capable of love! it's not hard to crack through their shell, nor do they even have one. 8 themself is aware of how they've changed over the years, and they want to go back to how they used to be; loving, sympathetic, mindful of others. they do feel very sorry for the change in their personality, but the partial sanitization that was done to them makes it difficult to revert to their old self

8 feels like they're putting up a front when they want to be nice, and, they can be compassionate and apologetic sometimes. they deeply wish for anyone who recognized them pre-octo expansion to forgive them, even if they did nothing wrong

because of the whole octo expansion situation, 8 has developed truman syndrome, paranoia, and heavily dislikes anything involving a smart AI or robotics. this is one of the reasons why marina pisses them off so badly. to 8, they think that they've caused no harm, and every mistake they've done was not entirely their fault. they make a lot of people uncomfortable in some way without touching anyone or saying anything. despite all that, they respect people's personal space a lot!..other than pearl and marina, who they used to watch sleep before being kicked out

now, onto their relationships. 8 is doing fine with agent 4, he's nice to them so they like him... but so is cap3, yet 8 might be one of the worst things that ever happened to her. cap3 really wants some alone time and hates being stared at, and 8 does the exact opposite of that. they don't touch her at her request, but they Will stare at her whenever she's doing anything, at any given time. they don't process in their mind that they want to make her uncomfortable, they just sort of...do?

^ i only limited this to a bit so i won't delve Too deep and go off topic. you can ask about that if you want

i guess you could say they have some kind of parental issues? i don't know, they can't remember who their biological parents are anyways. they have a strong attachment to marina though, can't decide if they wanna be her or want her to adopt them. kind of "eh" with pearl, still respects him nonetheless

congratulations! if you've read until the end, here's a human 8 doodle :3

[mmmerimari]

coping!reader - test drive

He didn’t call it a date. Didn’t come to her door either. Just sent a lazy “here” text and leaned against his truck, arms crossed and head down like he was doing time. No flowers. No plan. Just the implication that she should be flattered he showed up at all.

She came anyway. Slid into the passenger seat with a too-large cardigan tugged around her arms, her bangs freshly trimmed and curled. Yellow ribbons on her sneakers. A little strawberry lip gloss.

“Hi,” she said. Not too cheerful. Performed casual.

Rafe glanced at her once. “You always dress like a crayon box or is this special for me?”

She smiled, slow and soft. “You're lucky I didn't wear the banana earrings.”

He didn’t laugh. Just shook his head, pulled out of the lot without saying where they were going. Some old rap station crackled low on the speakers, mostly static. She didn’t ask him to change it.

They ended up parked in front of the marina. Not by the yachts. Down where the dock was rotting and the tide smelled like algae and salt rot. Somewhere no one would bother them. Or see them.

There was a convenience store bag in the backseat. He threw it in her lap without ceremony.

“I got snacks.”

She peered inside. Gummy worms. A flat soda. A melted Hershey bar. “Wow,” she deadpanned, “someone’s aiming for a Michelin star.”

“Didn’t realize you were a bitch about candy.”

She pulled out the Dr. Pepper and cracked it open. “You look like someone who’s never had to buy their own groceries.”

He smirked, leaning back. “You think that’s an insult?”

That earned a snort. She sipped the drink, wrinkling her nose at how warm it was, but didn’t complain. He watched her from the side, pretending not to.

Her phone buzzed in her lap. She didn’t look at it. Just picked at the label on the soda can until it peeled into strips.

“You always this quiet?” he asked, finally.

“No.”

His mouth twitched. “That was a quick answer.”

She shrugged. “It's a simple question.”

It wasn’t though. Not really. Her gaze landed on the water in front of them.

“You know most girls would kill to be here right now.”

Y/n just hummed. Noncommittal.

“Christ, you’re weird. You remind me of Sarah,” he said eventually.

“I should hope not.”

“I mean,” He gestured vaguely. “You pretend you’re shy, but I’ve seen the way you talk to people. You like the attention.”

“Sure,” she said. “Everyone does.”

“No,” he said, cutting her off like she was stupid. “Girls like you, the yellow shoes, baby voice, ‘I’m-so-nice’ complex, you live for it. You want everyone to think you’re harmless so no one calls you out when you’re full of shit.”

She turned to look at him, calm and unimpressed. “What's so wrong with that?”

“It’s pathetic.”

“Mm.” She blinked once. Tilted her head. "Or maybe it’s just strategic.” She smiled. Not sweet. Not even fake. Just like she already knew he wouldn’t get it.

That made him pause. Not because it hurt. But because it didn’t. She wasn’t coming for him. She was just… playing.

He cracked his knuckles, watching the marina lights flicker. “So why'd you say yes? I- I know people say things... about me and-”

“I don't care,” she said. “You seem chill.”

That made him smirk and laugh softly. Chill. Sure.

He studied her now. Really studied her. Bangs a little uneven. Collarbone freckled. The kind of pretty that didn’t beg to be seen but still made people look twice.

She shifted in her seat, crossing her legs and tucking one hand under her thigh. “I do like fun,” she said lightly, “and you seem... entertaining.”

There was a little shimmer on her eyelids, glitter probably, that sparkled when the sunset got low enough.

“You don’t know me,” he said.

“I know enough.”

“No, you think you know.”

She shook her head softly. “I don't think it's that complicated.”

Rafe stared, her smile grew.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You’re insufferable.”

She hummed and turned to the window, resting her chin on her palm, staring out at the half-lit dock like it was somewhere worth being.

He didn’t move. Just sat there next to her, quiet. The radio kept crackling and she started mouthing the lyrics to something old, offbeat. Her lips were pink and sticky and smiling in the corners like she knew he was watching. She liked being watched when she pretended she didn’t notice.

Eventually, he leaned back, adjusting the seat. “You wanna go do something, or just sit here and waste time all night?”

She smiled again, warm this time, and nodded.

"Can I drive?"

if you're interested: readers

[mochamoth]

Hiii more fluffy headcanons cuz idk what to draw (Samarina edition)

(If OOC headcanons annoy you I'm sorry it's best you leave cuz this might piss you off 😔)

-Samarie does Marina's makeup and Marina does Samarie's hair.

-Fuck any assholes who come for me for this but (I hc) Marina is chubby. Cuz I love LOVE chubby women. And Samarie also loves chubby women. Because I said so (as a hc, not canonly this is a hc).

-Samarie doesn't do well in most social situations likes restaurants, clubs, parties, ect. Marina doesn't mind, so either she does all the socializing or they just go on more quiet, casual dates.

-Samarie had to come clean about a stash of belongings Marina had forgotten about or lost throughout the years. She was a bit freaked out (because d u h) but let her keep it. Now she puts proper gifts from Marina in with the stash.

-Samarie is very VERY lonely. Being autistic (hc, tho she has MANY traits) and raised in isolation and all. Marina is all she really has. So Marina tries to get Samarie to make connections. Not that Samarie holds Marina from her relationships, Marina just feels as though it'd be nice for Samarie to have proper friends.

-Samarie yaps about her interests to Marina. Marina sometimes does so aswell but it's mostly Samarie and it's usually about moths.

-Marina sometimes let's Samarie pick out her outfits. Marina would have many cute outfits and such (I like to think she's very fashionable and a sucker for frills and cute things in general).

-Samarie has days where she can't get out of bed, either from being ill or mentally unwell. Marina helps her during these times, making sure she eats and drinks and reassuring her.

-Marina occasionally has her emotional moments too, and Samarie is always there to help her and care for her.

-They can be quiet for hours together. They like being quiet together. It's nice and relaxing.

-Marina makes Samarie go clothes shopping with her. Samarie only has outfits because Marina made her be more confident in herself and treated her. If not she would wear the same damn like 5 clothes every day. Half she doesn't even like.

-Bugs are not killed. Marina simply gets Samarie, and Samarie takes them outside.

-Marina enjoys starting playful banter with Samarie. Samarie is a very well.. She's Samarie so it's rare to get her in a silly mood. But, not impossible. She can be very playful, it's just only for Marina.

-Samarie is a picky eater because of how she was raised, she's used to the same few meals everyday (if at all). Marina makes Samarie at least try to eat healthier, having her eat more varied food. Samarie trusts Marina's judgement and only occasionally chickens out of trying new things.

That's all for noww, ty if you enjoyed this idk these probably suck but it's fineeee anyways bye!

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x01 - A Diamond of the First Water (Part 3)

Hi! Welcome back to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I'm taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton's character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Girls Like You

Jumping back in, we start off with a montage of suitors for both Daphne and Marina set to Maroon 5's Girls Like You. Usually, I have some great thoughts on the use of music within shows but this one feels... just like a fun little pop song to put to a montage? Most of the lyrics involve -- needing a girl like you -- and -- yeah yeah yeah. It's not the most profound song, but it works nicely for the montage.

Also, I love when they match the Featherington girls' dresses. I'd love the backstory as to why Portia is obsessed with citrus fruits.

As a nice touch, when the LW voice over starts, the camera pushes in on Penelope. I kind of love all the hints they give that LW is Pen -- it's incredibly obvious once you start looking for them. Anyway, Penelope is so devilish here. She loves the attention Marina is getting - not only because she finds Marina a nice person, but because it's pissing her mother off. I love that the LW narration is Pen's way of throwing salt in her mothers' wound. It's a bit wicked. And delicious.

What's somewhat wild, though, is that LW goes after the Queen about her choice of Daphne as a diamond. THE QUEEN! Like, that is bold, Pen. Incredibly bold. She even throws shade at King George, like wow. It's no wonder the Queen is obsessed to track her down. Pen's playing with fire here. But I wonder if she doesn't realize, yet, that there can be consequences to her words? I mean - right now, LW is almost like her journaled words being published -- unedited thoughts that aren't necessarily filtered, but are done so anonymously. The only reactions she's really getting are her mother's frustrations -- which she delights in.

It'll be interesting to watch the LW development as the show continues...

Courting I

Awww, it's our first real Polin scene of the show! And it's... like ten seconds long. But! Still plenty to dig through.

Colin's decided to call on Marina - I'm assuming he's the one (or one of the ones really) who brought her flowers. And during one of the suitor's atrocious poems, Colin's throwing Pen (and you could argue Eloise) looks. Like, can you believe this guy? Seriously?

But, no, I love that there's this layer of non-verbal communication right off the bat. Colin isn't just some random dude Pen has had a crush on from afar. They have an established relationship from the onset (which I'll talk about more in a sec) and how many times -- cutting through the ridiculous nature of the society they live in, do they shoot each other knowing looks.

They grew up together, and while Colin probably very much thinks of her as an additional sister at this point -- there's a comfort there that he can express how he's feeling over the situation to her.

A quick second about the dog - it took me a sad amount of times to realize that one of the suitors had brought it as a gift. It also doesn't show up after this episode (I think) so I really hope it's safely living at a neighbor's house after Portia decides to get rid of it.

Anyway... I was thinking about Eloise in this scene. Why is she even in this scene, she doesn't need to be. Well, actually, in a way, she does! First of all - we can appreciate Claudia Jessie's fantastic comedic skills (Btw - anyone else up for a buddy comedy with Claudie Jessie and Nicola Coughlan? Because I sure am here for it).

Secondly, it helps reestablish that Pen and Eloise are bffs. Which helps establish why Colin would otherwise randomly come up to talk to her after calling hour is over. This is the first episode of the series, and all of these relationships are being established. And it can be done without dialogue having to confirm it. It's all subtle, but it's better than the trap of over explaining things in expository dialogue.

Anyway, I want some backstory... How often do Eloise and Pen sneak over to each other's houses? They were children when they met - how often did Pen play over at the Bridgerton house? It's interesting that children are allowed some freedoms that once you get older, aren't allowed anymore. I have to wonder - if one reason that Pen and Colin are so free with each other later on is that because they they were children together, and probably played together as kids, they don't feel as bound by society's rules because they didn't have to when they were younger.

And now I just have all of these headcanons about a much younger Colin chasing his sister(s) and Pen who is visiting around the house in the way siblings do. And Eloise deciding she wants to take revenge, and she and Pen coming up with plots to play pranks on her brother(s). Think of Gregory and Hyacinth at the beginning of the episode, running around causing havoc. And I can just imagine that Eloise and Colin are a lot like that, too. And of course, Pen, who wanted to be away from her own family, from her own sisters who treated her like a disease, would want to be a part of it as much as she could.

Before I get into their exchange, a small, but important detail is what Portia says a moment before -- she encourages the young men to acknowledge her other daughters in hopes that someone will notice Prudence or Phillipa. But the way she includes Penelope's name -- "or even Penelope" -- it's an after thought. It's like, oh yeah, I have a third child I guess if you really want to acknowledge her, go ahead, but meh, who cares. It's so sad, really that Portia thinks so little of her at this point in time.

But then here's the kicker -- not one of these suitors even takes a glance over in Prudence or Phillipa's direction. But Colin takes a moment to full on have a short aside with Penelope. He makes it a point to go over to her to share a laugh -- because they'd probably been rolling their eyes at each other during all of this suitor business, and now that the official courting moment is over, they can have an exchange.

The fact that Portia is so blind to what goes on with her youngest daughter is the reason LW works. Penelope is left to really be on her own - and while that's devastatingly lonely, it also allows her a freedom that other women her age and place in society don't get.

Anyway, back to Colin -- and the fact that the first thing he does is seek out Penelope. He could address his own sister, who is sitting right there, but he doesn't. Because Eloise probably usually ignores him. Penelope doesn't. She latches on to pretty much everything he says, and that's gonna be a big deal for Colin (but we'll get there...)

Their exchange is only a couple of lines, but they're able to be witty with each other. Penelope mentions that the suitor is no Lord Byron (and -- guys, as an aside, if you want a wild time, look up the life and times of Lord Byron and the Shelleys. It's just... a good time...) Anyway, Colin's face subtly shifts in this moment. Her wit and intelligence is impressive, and he clocks that. It's why he keeps coming back to her - because they can share similar thoughts - but also she's deeply amusing on top of that.

And, oh, dear Penelope... Her eyes never leave him. She is just so, so gone. Not only is she just over the moon that he comes to stop to talk to her, not only is she gazing adoringly up at him during the quick exchange, her look lingers as he leaves. Of course, part of this is visual storytelling to show the depths of her feelings. But, we're beyond crush stuff here -- this girl has got it bad.

Seriously -- how does Eloise not notice all of this? I mean, plot purposes, yes, and the fact that Eloise is usually caught up in her own drama to really notice other things. But you'd think you'd notice your best friend being moony for brother after a while. Because, Pen, girl, you wear your heart on your sleeve...

Courting II

Before we get into the meat of this short, little moment - I have to mention the transition. In the scene before, Simon and Anthony were talking, and Anthony mentions that he's not worried about taking a wife because he has brothers... And we cut to this scene where Colin is courting Marina. And, I think it's a neat little transition because - we see Colin doing something that Anthony is actively not doing. Looking for a wife. (Or at least a romantic partner)

That's the thing about Colin -- he is a romantic. Unlike Anthony, whose position is different because he is the oldest and therefore there's more responsibility there, and therefore he'd rather not deal with it at all (and who has a ton of trauma going on in addition) and unlike Benedict, who is kind of caught up in finding himself more than anything, Colin (who is young still at this point) likes the idea of a wife and a partner and a domestic home.

It's one (of many - I'll get to it) reason he is so quick to propose to Marina. It's why he doesn't fuck around ages later when he figures out his feelings for Penelope. It's actually something Colin and Penelope have in common -- they both have a shared love of romance.

Okay, so onto this moment, I want to note the blocking of the scene. Notice how Penelope is on the floor, playing with the dog? It's purposeful! It positions her to reflect that she's still a child, or at least a child when compared to Colin and Marina on the couch, deep in their courting moment. It highlights the chasm currently between them -- something Marina will bring up later, that Penelope is still a child, a younger sister, not serious marriage prospect in Colin's eyes.

There's Lady Whistledown narration going over this scene -- where LW proclaims that Colin might be rewarded with the prize of Marina. And we see Penelope watching with a mix of emotion.

Penelope was having fun with all the suitors back when there were a ton of them and they were spouting bad poetry. But now that it's just Colin and Marina, the knife twists a bit in Pen's heart. She's playing with the puppy, as a way to pretend she's not that interested, but she's dutifully watching. And yes, a small part of it is her LW ways. A bigger part of it is to watch the development of this particular courtship. And, a third part of it is that there's a twisted sense of -- I may hate every thing about what's happening, but we're still in the same room together. She doesn't miss opportunities to be near Colin whenever she can.

The LW narration is somewhat brutal and almost petty. Pen is mocking Marina through the guise of carefully placed compliments. (Note - Julie Andrews doesn't oversell it the narration, but the hint of sarcasm is there.) Again, they did a great job at layering the narration over Pen's face, so we literally are hearing what she's thinking.

Here's the other thing about the narration :: 'It has come to my ears that Mr. Colin Bridgerton will win the grand prize when he sweeps Miss Thompson off her pretty, little, slippered feet.'

There's a lot in that little sentence. Pen is watching Colin and Marina laugh together. And that is hard for Pen -- because we saw it even in the first scene they have together. They laugh, have in-jokes, seek each other out and share cute, sweet little moments. Sure -- we know (or will be told) that Colin is flirty in general, he cracks jokes, makes people seem at ease, and is genuinely kind to everyone. But Pen has taken a lot of those interactions for herself, has buried them away as something special between the two of them.

Colin flirting out during promenades (or whenever) is kind of a distant thing. Pen having a front row seat to watch Colin lay his natural charm at a serious romantic partner is something else entirely. She hates it. And that's why she turns away, because it's a bit too much. And yet, she doesn't leave -- because she can't.

Also, ALSO! The - sweep her off her feet - comment in the narration. Marina will find Colin a bit fun, but it's a nice connection. And I do think she likes Colin. But she's not really swept off her feet. Pen was the one who got swept off her feet. I just... think they did a great job keeping up the duality of having LW be her own thing and having it really reflect Pen's inner thoughts.

So on that angsty note... one more post about the first episode to wrap it up, then we can move on!! See -- I told you there's a lot in this first episode!

[splashgal]

Bridgerton Recap- 1x6: 'Swish'

We open on multiple long range shots of the Hastings carriage, including one from overhead. Dame Julie tells us that she’s very happy for Simon and Daphne as they suck face and then she tells us they better have stamina, because they are about to be fucking like crazy. At least we are getting a heads up on it, as Julie announced grandly that she is of course talking about the honeymoon. We actually got that, Jules. They pull up in front of their estate in Clyvedon, and it is crazy-town banana pants. There’s a really nice brass-heavy instrumental piece playing as Daphne climbs out of the carriage, and I just need to say that I effin’ love the music on this show. Well done, Kris Bowers.

Anyway, Dame Julie tells us there is nothing more romantic than escaping society and leaving behind watchful eyes. Ah yes, just the Duke, the Duchess, their fifteen trunks, their thirty-seven staff, and their eleventy-billion rooms. How quaint. Simon climbs the steps and greets Mrs. Colson, who, despite her Frau Blucher energy, seems psyched to see him.

And if you got that reference, you were possibly at least born in the same decade as me. He introduces Daphne, who Frau Colson seems warmish toward. She announces that she has lunch prepared, to be followed by a tour of their giant ass house. Simon puts the kibosh on that idea, as he has some boning to do, and all but drags Daphne inside as his housekeeper kind of rolls her eyes.

Daphne is in awe of her new palace, but Simon is just looking for a flat surface. He will get less picky as the episode goes on, for what it’s worth. His new bride is scandalized that he would pick her up in front of their assembled staff. They giggle together as he carries her off.

Oh wow, I thought we would go to a title card, but we are over at the Queen’s gardens ( I think at least). And Julie is still going too! She says everyone is going to miss Saphne, maybe at least they will return with a bun in the oven. This is yet another one of those outdoor scenes where everyone looks cold. Poor Pen’s lips are practically blue. She and Eloise eye each other warily. It needs to be noted that once again, Violet is wearing way too much mesh netting around her neck. Is she ready for a malaria outbreak here? And this time, she has taken poor El too, who is covered to up her chin and down to her wrists in sheer fabric.

Hyacinth asks what they think Daphne is doing right now. Rather than start in on her basset hound story from the last episode, Violet just says she probably has ‘many new duties’. Wah wah. She goes on to say that Eloise needs to start learning these things before her debut next season. El has practically been itching for a chance to launch into a diatribe about stupid men and their stupid feet and their stupid personalities, and do you think it was just too on the nose to make her the lesbian in the family? Someone who I think is little adorable Greg comes up and swats at Hyacinth, who runs off after him. I just noticed Anthony and Benedict are behind them, chatting up a couple of generic-looking blondes. Violet mentions that El needs to also lower her hemlines, presumably to signal to the men of the ton that her ankles are now considered sexy and therefore off limits from view. Eloise tells her mum that she does not have the time to visit the modiste, since the Queen has tasked her with unmasking Whistledown. Violet opens her mouth in shock, but before she can say anything, we…

Oh, good lord. Colin and his cerulean crushed velvet jacket and his Jimmy Neutron hair clinks his glass, getting everyone’s attention. For what it’s worth, Marina looks fucking fabulous though. He says he has an announcement to make and Penelope is already hyperventilating.

Colin has proposed and Marina has accepted! Anthony practically swallows his tongue, but Portia is psyched! I’m telling you, she is into Colin. Aw, little adorable Gregory is there with his little adorable dimples! Even Feather-Baron is happy. Violet looks like she has spoiled milk in her mouth and a giant shower puff on her head. Pen looks so sad, you guys. Anthony rushes to her mother and asks if she knew about this. She tells him to cram it because people are looking at them for a reaction. They join the crowd of Top Hatters surrounding the happy couple.

We cut to Anthony and Colin in Anthony’s study. Ant and his pointy pointy sideburns are reading Colin the riot act for proposing to someone he hardly knows. What was Colin thinking? The younger sibling says he was thinking Anthony would react this way and Anthony brings up Violet not being cool with this. Colin argues that she congratulated him, so she must be fine. His hair is half the size it was in the last scene.

Anthony does not strangle his brother, so I think he should get a little credit. He asks if Colin banged Marina and Colin, in his ponciest voice replies that he would never, he is a gentleman. How dare you suggest he would lay with a woman before marriage! Anthony asks why the hell he is getting married then and Colin cuts in and says he’s in love. Oh, sweetie. Anthony then proceeds to crack splashguy up by suggesting that Colin is too virginal and it’s his fault that he didn’t take him to enough whorehouses after he came home from school. He asks if Colin is trying to just ‘wet his wick’, which is an excellent euphamism by the way. Colin cuts in and calls Anthony an asshole, and Anthony doubles down and says he should really bang a bunch of chicks so this one doesn’t seem that important. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him!

And it’s a miss as Colin stands from his chair to yell and Anthony to shut his fucking pie hole. He’s insulting Marina and himself and he’s sorry that Anthony was grown in a lab and doesn’t understand basic human feelings. His pants are really tight, y'all. Anthony calls Colin ‘a child’ and Colin shoots back that he’s older than Daphne. It’s not the same though, she was shipped off to have someone else care for her. Anthony calls him immature, which- fair. Colin says he doesn’t need Anthony’s permission, but he would like his blessing. Anthony essentially blows a raspberry at him and he leaves. Don’t worry Colin, you just have to work on your gameplay. Next time do all of this stuff while he’s out of the country (spoiler!).

And we are FINALLY at the title screen! Holy shit you guys, I need a nap.

Simon and Daphne are naked, macking on each other. Get used to that sentence, I’m going to use it a lot in this episode. I might make a macro. Daphne notes that moms don’t tell girls about sex so they will occasionally do something else with their time. They roll around as they cutely argue back and forth about whether or not Daphne should blow off Frau Colson and her tour. She puts on her robe and gives him an adorable curtsy on her way out.

Simon sits in silence for approximately one point three seconds before his valet Jeffries comes in and says he’s got the study ready for work. Simon argues that he’s supposed to be just fucking full time and then looks like a real jerk when Jeffries points out that his tenants are poor and starving and have been asking to see him. Simon and his shaved chest relent and says he will go work.

Daphne is on the boring tour with Frau Colson, who is trying to give her history on the estate. Little Miss Know-It-All talks over the top of her, looking very pleased with herself. Daphne prattles on in each room, causing Frau Colson to get more and more irritated. The housekeeper mentions an upcoming fair and says she’s RSVPed for Daphne already. The Duchess suggests that the staff should be able to go to, which the older woman tries unsuccessfully to shut down. They pause on the staircase and look up at a portrait of Simon’s mother, Poor Dead Sarah. Frau Colson pointedly calls her a ‘perfect Duchess’. Ouch. They pause in the doorway to the nursery, with the housekeeper giggling strangely. I guess because she knows they have sex? I don’t know, it’s weird. Daphne asks to move on, and they head out to look at the grounds.

We cut to later in the formal dining room, where Daphne is nervously touching the silverware as she sits in a gown at one end of the table. Simon wanders in with his clothes half-on and notices how stuffy it is in there. One of his footman says that the Douchke liked dinner to be formal. Simon sits at the other end of the table as Daphne helps herself to some asparagus that looks very out of season. She’s talking about the gardens, but pauses when he doesn’t engage. She asks what’s wrong and he whines that she’s so far away. She suggests that they go to the kitchen to eat with Alfred instead.

No wait, sorry. I got confused. The Duchess picks up her plate and goes down to join him at his end of the table. Everyone watches, aghast at the moxie of these two. She wants to talk about redecorating, but he’s already trying to undress her. Daphne asks if they should go upstairs, and he says he has a better idea.

Cue the Taylor Swift montage people! I’m not going to really recap this too much, because sex is kinda boring to write about in this particular medium. They run out to the gazebo and we establish another Bridgerton kink- having sex anywhere but a bed. It’s raining, she looks good in her corset, he pulls out and she asks after his sperm. He says he feels great and then we are watching them continue to go at it. One the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door. She’s on a ladder in their library. You guys were so busy wondering if you could that you didn’t think about if you should. I guarantee there’s a sofa two feet from you!

Later, Rose is brushing her hair and Daphne giggles about how much fun sex is and Rose teases her about her tangles. That was cute.

Back in Mayfair, Whistledown is being delivered. Colin stalks into the dining room as Ben tries to diffuse a fight between Hyacinth and Gregory. When his siblings notice him, they all vamoose and Colin sits at the table with his mother. He apologizes and she replies that she should be relieved that she found out about his engagement before Lady Whistledown. It was actually at the same time, but that’s neither here nor there I guess. He points out that he’s been courting Marina ‘all season’, but I’m not falling into this trap again. Is it morning? Is it June? Is it still the 1800s? There’s no way of knowing on this show. He goes full middle child and pouts that Violet has been giving Daphne all of her attention. Violet states that she thought he was just flirting, because he flirts with everyone. This will be mentioned multiple times on this series, and I just have to say- when? We never see him flirting. Is it all off screen? Do they think I’ll be so distracted by his magnificent hair that I won’t notice they’re telling us and not showing us this character trait? Violet worriedly says that she’s never seen him so serious. He huffs that no one takes him seriously besides Marina.

Violet takes Colin’s hand and laments not being prepared to let him grow up and leave. He says she still has a lot on her plate with the ones who are left. ‘Especially Eloise, good luck with that one’. Ha!

Then we are across the street at Feather-House. Pen is outside the drawing room, listening in as Marina chats with Anastasia and Drizella Prudence and Phillipa. Does Marina think that Colin will introduce them to his hot friends? Marina is sure he will, and their fortunes are about to change. Pen steps into the room and sarcastically says that Colin’s definitely will. She goes to grab a book and Marina tells her she looks lovely in her canary yellow dress. Pen snaps ‘do not mock me’ with a tight smile before flouncing over to her (second) favorite settee. Marina follows and sits next to her, saying she doesn’t want Pen to think she’s mocking her. Pen spits at her that she doesn’t want pity either. Marina says she respects Pen and wants her continued friendship. Pen astutely replies ‘my continued silence you mean,’ without even looking up from her book. Meow. Marina keeps going though, telling Pen that she can’t bear Pen thinking so little of her and Pen finally snaps that she will not cause scandal, but she is not going to condone this either. Marina has the audacity to ask if Pen can’t be a little happy for her, like- read the room, sweetheart. I swear, the better the hair, the less the braincells with this group. Portia busts in and says that she needs to take Marina to Linens and Things to- oh no, wait. They need to go to the modiste to get her trousseau. Pip notes jealously that Marina gets a new wardrobe and a hot husband, and then notes that their baby will be beautiful. Pru stares at her for a moment before reminding Pip that Hot Colin is not the babydaddy, and they both giggle. Pen snaps at them for making fun of Dumb Hot Colin. ‘You are no fun anymore,’ Prudence notes. ‘Was I ever?’ Pen asks rhetorically before stomping out of the room.

Over at Gen’s Fabric Emporium, Violet is fussing with Eloise about wearing her hair up next season, saying she will look lovely. I mean, she needs to work on those bangs, mum. Genevieve comes over and murmurs that she knows they’re here to talk about Eloise’s impending showing on the cattle floor, but before Violet can really get into checking her hooves, Portia bursts in with Marina in tow. She’s really acting like the Koolaid Man this episode.

Anyway, she’s super excited to see Violet. Portia states that the two families will be connected forever now, and it sounds like the threat. Portia invites Violet and ‘dear Colin’ and Anthony to dinner to celebrate, and Violet says she will talk to Ant. Portia then pulls Gen away to the back, but Gen says she will not work on Marina’s trousseau until their bill is paid. She suggests that they find a seamstress across town. Oh no she didn’t! Marina proves that she’s the daughter Portia wants, but not the one she deserves by asking Madame Delacroix where in France she’s from, and then, in French, threatens her. Portia is so turned on right now. El looks over at them suspiciously.

We cut to the ‘Safety Dance’ video. Oh no, it’s actually the fair that Frau Colson was talking about during the tour. Daphne and Simon stand by a hog enclosure. Daphne asks the man next to her in an unfortunate tri-corner hat what the prize is for the winner. Slaughter! She looks over at Simon, who chuckles. Does he not know how this works? Didn’t he ask Jeffries, my favorite character in this show right now? Anyway, Daphne announces that everyone is a winner. Oh, she’s one of those. There is very lukewarm applause, and then we get a shot of Frau Colson in the crowd practically doing one of those ‘Airplane’ face palms.

Yep, we got references to Men Without Hats, ‘Young Frankenstein’, and Koolaid in this recap. Don’t tell me I’m not hip with the lingo of the young kids!

Daphne is sampling things and having a grand old time at the fair. She tastes a hot water crust pie that looks really really good before they are approached by a man in a top hat made of wicker. He has a sort of Billy Connelly vibe to him. Anyway, rents are tripled, the farms are struggling, and he can only afford to tint half of his eyebrows. Times are rough, guys. Daphne thanks him for bringing it to their attention, and they will figure something out.

A little girl comes running and crying at Daphne, who promptly picks her up and cuddles her. The girl’s very pregnant mum waddles up and apologizes for her child being a child. She tries to bow, but Daphne stops her, saying she shouldn’t be stooping her her condition. Yeah, she can come back in a couple months and do it properly! Simon watches as Daphne cuddles the girl for a moment longer before putting her down awkwardly and walking away. She turns back to look at her as she goes. I’m sure this is nothing and will go nowhere.

Later, as they are walking through a field back to the Saphne-Plex, she mentions the farm thing again and he says he should have come back sooner. She brings up the girl and says she hopes he wasn’t too bummed seeing what an awesome mom she would be. She goes on to say she doesn’t think about all the endless emptiness of her future when she is around kids and is sure all of her siblings are going to reproduce like bunnies, so it’s fine if they don’t have a litter of their own. Simon says she will be a great aunt and that he’s thrilled that she’s happy with their life. Well, she has had over four days to make that decision. I’m sure this is nothing and will go nowhere.

Here comes the plinkly plunky music of wackiness that happens in every television show since the beginning of time. Oh, this scene is bound to be silly, you guys. Over at Feather-House, the fam is lined up at the base of the staircase, waiting on Marina. She sweeps down the stairs with the biggest hair I’ve ever seen. It is definitely full of secrets. Portia commands her to ‘swish’ (roll credits!) and Marina kinda shimmies in her dress, revealing just a hint of belly. Portia congratulates Marina on doing such a good job so far, but tonight they need to talk about having a swift wedding. Pen chuckles humorlessly and calls them idiots. Tricking Colin is easy, but tricking Violet will be harder. She was professionally pregnant for like 15 years straight. ‘Trust she knows when she’s being managed,’ Pen notes before smiling sweetly. Portia assesses Marina.

Then we are at dinner. The seating arrangement here is kinda fascinating, with Anthony next to Marina on one side and Portia next to Colin (see? She lurrrves him!) and Violet next to Pen. Violet is asking Marina what she liked to do on the farm she lived on before coming to the big city. Marina liked riding (heh heh) more than anything. Portia points out how proper Marina is and Pen gets this look like she would destroy everyone with her brain if she could. Violet asks Marina if she has traveled much, because Colin is very into travel. And flirting. And all kinds of other things that only happen off screen presumably. Portia suggests a globe-trotting honeymoon, and asks Anthony what he thinks. Anthony hates everything about this and doesn’t want to talk. Portia goes on saying a foreign honeymoon would be amazing and then directly addresses Colin to snap to it on the wedding thing and they could go right now and take advantage of what great weather they are having! Anthony pipes up that Colin’s very young and hasn’t figured out pomade yet, so she should slow her roll a bit. Colin brings up that Marina is very accomplished at needlework. Pen looks like she wants to murder him with said needle. Marina calls him a liar and then he makes a joke at Daphne’s expense that Portia laughs too hard at. Because she loves him. Pen saws through the table while aggressively cutting her meat.

Then we are in a room we have never seen before I think! Pip is at the piano and Pru is singing badly and she’s not even in tight pants to do it, so what is the point? Colin tries to smother a giggle as Anthony and Violet look on in various states of ‘what the fuck?’-ness. Colin gets up and leaves the room and Pen waits all of three seconds before she follows him. Subtle, Pen. It’s really a testament to how little attention everyone in her life gives her, because she is really not sneaky at all. Out in the hall, he’s headed toward the stairs, so I’m not exactly sure where he was going. Do they not have chamber pots on the main floor of this house? She calls out to him and he comes back to talk to her. We can still hear Prudence very clearly, I’m sorry to say. Pen starts by saying she needs to talk to him about something delicate and Colin asks if he has something on his face, which genuinely makes my husband laugh. She says she’s been trying to get him alone since the engagement was announced, and he astutely guesses that this is about Marina.

She immediately starts babbling about George and cake and getting lost between the moon and New York City. She says she thought he should know before it was too late. This two-shot of them is crazy, she looks literally half his size. He takes her hand and says ‘you really are very good, do you know that?’. Well, it could have been worse. He could have patted her head or scratched her behind the ear and given her a snausage. Her face falls. Colin doesn’t care that she got an ex, and he brings up again what a flirt he is. I’m being serious here: if anyone can remember examples of him flirting, can they let me know in the comments? I feel like I’m being very weirdly gaslit about this. Pen interjects that Marina still loves George, but Colin says that he and his intended understand each other. Given all of their deep discussions, this tracks. Marina comes out and Colin steps back from Pen and notes that Prudence’s singing sucks. Penelope looks like she is going to throw up. Marina says that Portia is looking for her daughter. Pen and Colin exchange a look before she goes back into the parlor. Marina stomps over to Colin and starts talking about how everyone hates her, even Saint Violet. Colin takes her hands and says he is her family now, and she says she wishes they could be married this very minute. She led that well-groomed horse right to water, will he drink? He will! He knows of a way they could be together right now! What a completely brilliant plan that he definitely came up with entirely on his own! She loves the idea. Interestingly, she says ‘I love you’ and he doesn’t say it back.

Daphne wakes up in bed alone and goes in search of Simon. She walks past the nursery and shuts the door before going down to his study. Simon is in the most amazing robe I’ve ever seen. I will refer to this as his Jeffries robe from now on, since he is wearing it while working. Daphne wants breakfast, but Simon no can do. The corn is not as high as an elephant’s eye and it’s all his fault. He says words like ‘livestock’ and ‘crop’. Daphne says she will be visiting some of his tenants and delivering gift baskets. Ah, the Michael Scott approach! I can’t wait until she rides her horse into a lake.

Rose and Daphne are picking lavender in the gardens when Frau Colson comes charging toward them, scolding her for…doing something I guess. Daphne says she’s got it under control and Frau Colson sarcastically asks if she’s going to collect the honey from the hives too. If Daphne knew where the beekeeper’s suit was, I bet she would at least give it a shot. Frau Colson says she needs to know what Daphne wants done to ensure it is done ‘properly’. Daphne and Rose have a back and forth about how the housekeeper hates everyone.

Then we are in the village, where Daphne is trying to give away her baskets, but nobody wants one. Did she not get the good turtles? Daphne asks if she is coming across as too snooty, and then there is the little screaming girl again. She runs at Daphne and hugs her. Aw. Daphne offers Still Very Pregnant Mum a basket, but SVPM can’t carry it along with everything else she has. Daphne immediately offers to walk with her. Guys, she’s seriously like a Princess. Daphne asks SVPM why everyone hates her. She is told it’s about the pigs. The winner gets the pork contract for the year. How did Simon not know that? He’s bad at being a Duke.

Back at the Saphne-Plex, Daphne comes in to see Simon’s desk being moved to the East Wing. Probably because the West Wing is forbidden. She asks what is wrong with the study, but he kinda blows her off. Frau Colson strides past her, but Daphne calls out to her. We cut to them having tea, and Daphne says she appreciates the older woman’s guidance. She can tell Simon kinda hates living in their house. Frau Colson explains that he grew up there without his parents, because his mom died and his dad was a shithead and moved to London. Daphne incorrectly guesses that he must have been so heartbroken by her death, and Frau Colson launches into to an exposition dump about how Poor Dead Sarah kept trying to have a baby long after doctors told her to stop, but the Douchke wanted an heir. She is babbling about courses and then says everyone blamed Poor Dead Sarah for being barren when it might have been the Douchke. Something finally clicks in Daphne’s brain, and she asks her housekeeper to elaborate. Frau Colson says that she told Poor Dead Sarah that a womb needs strong, healthy seed. I don’t know about you guys, but I could go a whole lifetime without having discussion about seed during snacktime.

Pen is sitting in a chair in her room. She’s pretending to be sick. Portia points out that she got a dinner invitation because of the engagement and flounces out. Cue Pen being sneaky around the house and finding a packed bag in Marina’s room. She then finds all of George’s letters and starts looking through them. Marina comes in some time later and Pen excitedly points out that the last letter is forged by Portia or Mrs. Varley. Marina blows her off and burns the letter. Pen demands to know why she has a bag packed and begs her not to go to elope. She screams at Marina that Colin is not simple and will realize the child is not his. Marina responds that he is good and would still take care of her and her baby.

‘But what of him? What of Colin!?’ Marina finally finally twigs to the fact that Pen is in love with her fiance and flatly calls her out on it. Penelope tries to deny it, but she is not even slightly believable. Marina says she knows so much more than Pen does, about Colin and everything else in the whole world. And now she goes full mask-off. Pen’s love is not requited, and Colin views her the same as Eloise or ‘even little Hyacinth’, but he seems Marina as a woman. And she needs to make difficult decisions, like lying to her husband about the paternity of her child. ‘Even if they hurt your feelings’. She’s still not quite getting it, is she? Penelope leaves her room without another word.

Over at the Saphne-Plex, Daphne comes into Simon’s new study in the East Wing and points out that it is late before hopping into his lap and as laments that he is bad at Duking. She asks why he stayed away, and he says he had business in London and then met her and yada yada yada. They kiss and then immediately proceed to sexing on the desk. Must have been all that poor farmer talk that got them so hot and bothered so fast I guess. He pulls out an (hopefully, depending on his aim) finishes in a handkerchief instead of all over his papers. Thank goodness, what would Jeffries say? He goes to clean up for dinner and Daphne stares at his discarded spunk catcher. Ew.

Cut to her striding into the servants quarters. She goes into Rose’s tiny, sad room and asks how a woman comes to be with child. Violet told her nothing. Um, not true. She told you about rain and bassett hounds.

We get a montage of Daphne staring off sadly into the middle distance then. At the dinner table, as she stares at a suckling pig. She ignores Simon when he crawls into bed. He wakes up the next morning and she’s gone. She’s delivery supplies to Wicker(Hat) Man from the fair, who thanks her and tells her everything is fixed now. Huzzah! She sends the carriage home so she can brood in the rain. Later, she stares at a portrait of Poor Dead Sarah and Simon comes in in his Jeffries robe. He leads her to the bedroom as we get I believe the only example of an actual song with lyrics in the history of this show. They proceed to get naked very quickly and climb onto the bed.

I’m going to not go into a ton of detail because this scene is icky to me in a lot of ways. They start going at it vigorously and then she rolls over and starts riding him. They both look very good naked. She proceeds to stay atop him as he finishes. And here’s the thing. She weighs 102 lbs soaking wet. Like this isn’t his fault, but he could have just shoved her off him. But still, she essentially rapes him here and it’s not a great look. After he finishes, she climbs off him wordlessly and he asks what she did to him. Oh, let’s phrase that differently, shall we?

She says she had hoped she wasn’t right and accuses him of lying and taking advantage of her. He argues that he told her he couldn’t give her children, and she yells back that cannot and will not are two different things. Point- Daph. He chose to lie to her. He says he didn’t lie and thought she understood. She says all she wanted was to be a mom, and he says he was ready to die rather than marry her. That’s not the best argument, Simon. She says she felt pity for him because he was never going to know the joy of fatherhood. ‘I never asked for your pity’, Simon says. ‘And I never asked for your betrayal!’ she replies. He starts to say that he loves her, but she is amped up now and tells him that you don’t lie to and humiliate the one you love. She points out that she doesn’t know anything, which he took advantage of, but she knows that ‘that!’ she says, pointing to the bed, is not love. She storms out of the room.

Dame Julie is back to tell us that all is fair in love and war. We get shots of the printers making Lady Whistledown. El is on a swing outside as Pen comes over sadly, and immediately starts sobbing. El runs to her and holds her.

The next morning, Whistledown is being delivered. We cut to Violet in her hangover robe in the front hall, reading the paper. Colin comes down the stairs with his bag and is wordlessly handed Whistledown. Dame Julie tells us that Marina has been pregnant this whole time. Marina comes down the stairs with her own suitcase, but finds Portia waiting for her. These mums get up early to read their gossip, huh? Julie goes on to tell us that many will think ‘ her actions beyond the pale’, as we get a lovely shot of Daphne on her back curled up in a ball, trying to get that semen to stick I guess. ‘Or perhaps she knows no shame’, Julie continues.

[yourbestpalpercy]

“Come on, don’t get sad over some genocidal crazyhead! Tomorrow’s a new day! You’ll be over this so-called friendship faster than you can say, uh, …Zapfish are zappy eels 3x fast!”

Such a line repeated nearly endlessly in 9’s head as the helicopter flew towards Inkopolis slowly. 8’s words did not help 9’s current mental state, nor did her sister’s current mood. After everything, after all of those tests and defeating 9 and Agent 3 who had been brainwashed by someone Agent 9 wanted to trust, 9 felt sorrow. The surface felt nothing like what Commander Tartar (that bastard) told her about. 9 wouldn’t admit to the faces of her friends but there was nothing above ground that she didn’t have underground; there was nothing more that Agent 9 wanted but to go back underground.

“So! What are you two thinking? Playing some private battles? Maybe some board games? You two just got to the surface! You gotta live for it, yo!” Pearl’s voice snapped 9 awake from her depressive thoughts.

“Ah, Pearl, as much as I’d love to do everything immediately, we both need a break. I mean, Agent 9 is probably still getting rid of that telephone’s digging thoughts! She’s probably tired!”

9 would prefer if 8 didn’t speak for her. Even if she did still have Tartar’s commands clawing through her brain, she wouldn’t want to get rid of them, unlike some squids and octopuses that didn’t seem to get it. 9 huffed softly, keeping her arms crossed.

“Speaking of, Agent 9? How is your burn feeling? I wasn’t able to get the whole thing bandaged earlier,” Marina stood up and approached Agent 9, grabbing the bandages near her feet. With a gentle hand, she started to move Agent 9’s hair out of the way so she could bandage Agent 9’s burns. She even applied burn cream gently to the scar. As the scar felt the cream, it flared to life, glowing brightly before dying out just as fast. “There we go…” Marina smiled softly at Agent 9. 9 smiled back with some force behind it. No one noticed the force.

“How do you feel, 9? Still a little burny?” Pearl hopped over with ease, standing beside Marina.

“Oh, uh,” 9 looked back at Agent 3 and her own, forming scar, “No. It doesn’t even hurt. It just feels hot. Really hot but it doesn’t burn at all. …Is it supposed to?” Agent 9 felt herself back up. Marina brought her hand away. “N-No. Well, we don’t know much besides your eye looks…really messed up. I will show you when we get back to the mansion. But, it’s not pretty.”

Agent 9 didn’t like the sound of that. Not at all.

Arriving at the mansion, Agent 9 could only stare at everything with wide, wide eyes. It looked pretty awesome, really. Agent 9 slowly bent down and trailed her finger across the nearly pristine white carpet. “This is…really soft.” Pearl only shrugged, strutting into the mansion.

“Meh! It’s not the softest thing but it’s pretty soft, yeah. Anyways! I can show you guys to the guest rooms. They’re pretty nice, y’know! You’ll love ‘em!” Agent 9 slowly laid herself onto the carpet. “Nah, I think I’ll just sleep here on the ground. Way cozier. Homely.”

Agent 8 carefully picked up Agent 9 and for the first time, Agent 9 noticed just how cold to the touch 8 was. She squealed and scrambled away from 8’s shocked arms. “Wow! You’re uh…really, really warm. I should’ve figured you out when we first shook hands. You’re just that warm!” Agent 9 reared her head back a little, “Uh…”

Agent 8 seemed to understand after that; she shook her head, “N-Not uhm…trying to say anything bad…th-though. You- still are- are, uhm,” Agent 8 went silent. “Still one of you guys?” Agent 9 looked into Agent 8’s eyes. 8’s eyes held uncertainty and discomfort even.

“Uh…y-yeah. Yes. Still one of us,” Agent 8 pulled Agent 9 into a tighter hug. Agent 9 looked past Agent 8 and at the carpet once again. This wasn’t a real human she was hugging. This was a sea creature. All of them sea creatures evolved to take her species’ place. It didn’t feel right that she was hugging some kind of…sea alien!

Alright, fine, maybe what Tartar said had affected her more than she wanted to admit.

“Now then. Agent 9? Let’s get you a mirror so you can see the scarring, unless you don’t want to?” Agent 9 pulled away from Agent 8 and turned back to Marina. “Can we put my disguise back on while I’m in there? I don’t feel…comfy like this.”

“You don’t need to be concerned about yourself around us.”

“I mean around EVERYONE ELSE! That feels like far, FAR too much stress! I can’t! Humans have been dead for a long, long time! I can’t just go out there!” Agent 9 cupped her hair a little. Agent 8 only frowned at Agent 9 before nodding. “Alright, well, I’ll bet that Marina here can whip you up some cute Boros Antennas.”

Marina smiled nervously with a slight nod, “You say that as if I know how to work with hair…!” Pearl bumped Marina with a thumbs up exactly like she had done with Agent 8 just 2 hours beforehand, “You’ve got this, Marina! Remember when you gave me really cute braids when I was growing out my tentacles when we were just getting to know each other?” Pearl’s words seemed to immediately make Marina determined. Marina began to guide Agent 9 to the bathroom.

“Wait! What’s a Boros?” Agent 9 asked Marina. She didn’t push Agent 9 against her will but instead gently followed behind her, course correcting when needed. In fact, she didn’t even touch 9 once!

“Ah. The full name is Horrorboros. It’s basically an evil Zapfish. Way longer and less cute. And it steals electricity instead of providing it. It’s got these antennae shaped like lightning bolts. It’s a salmonid. Grizzco and its employees keep those guys mostly in the water though.”

Agent 9 flinched at the name, “Mr. Grizz! Ah! That’s another thing Tartar mentioned. Kamabo Co. and Grizzco are business partners! …And I’m pretty sure Tartar had a crush on Grizz…” Marina gave Agent 9 a confused look.

“And he uh…told you all of this?” Marina turned on the bathroom light. “Your hair dye is wearing out. Is it okay if it’s just…your normal hair color for a bit?” Agent 9 looked towards Marina’s hands cautiously.

“B-But- water- it’ll-…”

“Nah, not if it’s only a little. Besides, the water pressure is very, very light, nothing like down there. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Now then.” Marina gently ran her fingers through Agent 9’s hair, getting any left over plastic suckers untangled. “We don’t really have a brush for getting through hair, uh…Pearl owns a feather comb for her huge pet bird, would that work?”

“EW! Birds are COVERED in diseases! Heeeck no!” Agent 9 shouted without thinking, shaking her hands about. Marina just gained a funny look on her face. “Hm, alright, well in that case, my fingers will have to do for now. Did Tartar tell you that?”

“…He taught me a lot of things, Marina. I don’t like this. I feel…like I have to explain everything now…” Agent 9 brought her hands in close. She couldn’t stop the worried expression from crossing her face.

Marina’s hands swam through Agent 9’s hair and gently pulled it into two, long boros tails. She then woven her hands into Agent 9’s bandages, letting the blue stained bandages fall off her eye.

Her skin was interrupted by a nasty, pale green and blue burn mark around the corner of her face. Areas where skin split apart from itself and areas where the sanitized ink had delved deeper into her skin. She saw shades of vibrant mint flicks at the tips of her skin and crevices of light blue in the deepest parts of her scar. Worst of all was her eye which still glowed bright cyan.

Agent 9’s hand went over her mouth and she backed into Marina, tears welling up in her eyes. Tartar’s ink did…all of that?

“I-I…I look bad… I-I look so, so ugly…” Agent 9 turned around to hug Marina. As the tear dripped into her injury, it softly glowed and her face started to heat up again. Marina wrapped her arms around Agent 9 and rubbed her back with delicate fingers. “You’re not ugly. Not at all. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you are. You’re different but,” Marina bent down to Agent 9’s level, holding up her face, “You’re still a person, you still live, breathe and talk. We’re equal. We are the same.”

“But-”

Marina shook her head, “No buts. You’ll find your place in the world like I did. I’m sure of it. Now, let’s get that dye out,” Marina flicked on the shower on low and tested the temperature, “You’ll probably be in the cold water for a long time though^^’.”

They’d be correct as Marina wasn’t sure how to remove the hair dye from Agent 9’s hair. The two just kept scrubbing and washing Agent 9’s hair for what felt like all day. By the end of it, Agent 9 was shivering with copper colored hair. “Huh. Adding the suckers, you look like you already fit in perfectly with that red hair of yours. I uh…didn’t know humans could come in red,” Marina had an anxious smile upon her face.

“It compliments you nicely really. Do you want to look in the mirror again?”

Agent 9 shook her head as Marina handed her a towel. “I’ll go see what extra clothes Pearl has that might fit you. Stay here.”

Agent 9 sat down on the smooth tile of the bathroom, watching how her fingers slid smoothly across the surface of it because of the water. Too smoothly. One could easily slip on this and get hurt terribly. Why not have the soft carpet everywhere? No slipping on that obviously but at the same time, there would be a lot of water. Perhaps that would be even more dangerous. Not good.

As Agent 9 slowly laid on the floor, upon her side, thoughts of Tartar and the statue came back.

The chiseled stone with the eye carved out to make way for a room filled with plans and papers upon papers. Chalkboards with equations and math that Agent 9 could never, never understand. Maybe Tartar was right. She had been raised by the octarian army. A bunch of idiots except for one; DJ Octavio, the leader of them. …Definitely prefers brawn over brains. Agent 9 was much better than, at the very least, those octarians. Marina and the others were her equals but how would she know if anyone else were on her level? Maybe they were all actually below her and she really was superior.

Agent 9 stood up and stared at herself in the mirror. Her pale skin with orange freckles dotting her entire body (mostly around her cheeks and shoulders). Thin, copper eyebrows and a slight overbite. Her copper hair laid flat but Agent 9 could already spot the ends of her hair beginning to curl up. Was she really any different from an inkling or octoling just because she had teeth and hair? Was she really supposed to be superior?

Why, of course, there’s no arguing with someone who knows everything! She definitely is superior.

…Bah, Agent 9 didn’t even know what superior MEANT! How was she sure that it was a good thing?

…

Because Tartar told her.

He would never lie to her.

But he lied about the promised land. He lied about sea life and humanity getting along. He lied about the sanitized soldiers. He lied about everything to Agent 9.

Tartar had promised not to hurt Agent 9 or any of her friends and yet-

The lights in the bathroom went out.

Agent 9 was plunged into darkness. She must’ve hit the switch accidentally with her towel or something. Agent 9 felt around, her leg bumping into the tub before then something else…and then more things. Nothing made sense… There were monsters in the dark. Things that wanted to hurt her. Something in here wanted to hurt her…!

Agent 9 reached out and felt her hand against something. A wall. The light switch…! Agent 9 looked up and reached her hand out to the light switch but, as she did, she saw Tartar’s blue eyes light up.

“AGENT 9!”

Agent 9 snapped awake at the sound of Marina’s voice as she shook Agent 9. She was laying on the ground, limbs sprawled out on the bathroom floor. Agent 9 looked over at Marina’s worried face. Casted to her side was a blue T-Shirt with inkling with a helmet on it and a pair of black shorts. “Are you okay? Your burn was glowing and I couldn’t get a word from you! It’s like you were in a soundproof cube. You don’t hear Tartar, do you?”

Marina’s words all mixed together inside Agent 9’s ears, filling them with water and ink. “Uhhh…” Agent 9’s eyes flicked towards the T-Shirt, “What’s that?”

Marina looked troubled before slowly picking up the T-Shirt. “This is from one of our many splatfests, Sci-fi Vs Fantasy. Now, are you okay?”

“No, no, that,” Agent 9 pointed to the inkling on the T-Shirt.

“It’s an astronaut but Agent 9, that’s not important, what’s important is knowing if you are okay,” Marina set down the t-shirt and helped Agent 9 stand up and dry off, “Please. Tell me if Tartar is still there. In your head?” Agent 9 stared at the shirt before quickly slipping it on without answering Marina.

“Agent 9…”

9 wished she could yell at Marina or at least muster up an answer but she couldn’t get past the wall blocking her tongue. She only grabbed the shorts and put them on. As much as Marina and 9 tried, 9 didn’t give an answer to her question. She hung up the towel and muttered a thanks under her breath.

The hallway was decorated lavishly with whites and creams decorated basically every surface minus some splashes of color here and there like some pinks and greens. There was black decor as well. It was a lovely place really. Seemed much better than Octo Valley or anywhere in that maze called Cephalon HQ. Agent 9 went there one time and she nearly drowned in the purple ink! Valuable lesson that day, INK DOESN’T FLOW LIKE WATER!

It was a miracle she was even fished out that day considering the only things letting anyone know that she was in there were the few splashes she could make while actively sinking lower. She had to have been…around 5? In fact, the memory was still really fresh in her mind and it still sent shudders down her back. In fact, because of how much of a total rascal that Agent 9 was at a younger age, it’s probably why Agent 9 wasn’t out often.

That or because she was human.

Probably because she was human.

Definitely because she is human.

Ugh, everything felt like a total mess in her head. Did she even know where she was heading? She didn’t really have Marina by her side anymore. Agent 9 looked behind herself. Her eyes started to trail around before her body quickly followed. “Marina?” She didn’t like being alone. Not before, definitely not now. Should she zone out, she’d see his face again. He’d hurt her again. Or would he help her? She needed to know. She could feel her thoughts starting to spiral. She felt…exhausted. Agent 9 could almost hear his voice.

There’s a figure at the end of the hall.

It’s him.

“Blue!” Agent 9 felt her breath catch in her throat, “I know you’re tired but this zoning out thing is getting so creepy!” …It’s just 8. Pinn. She stood there behind 9 with a friendly smile. “You’re reminding me of those 2 blue betta girls from The Scaling!” 9 slowly glanced behind her. Pinn didn’t even seem to notice how scared 9 was. How much would she care if 9 told her how she felt? Would she care about her confusion or would she just blame it on Tartar? Then again, Tartar WAS the cause of this but at the same time, he treated her so nicely! Maybe that was the point. Maybe he did that to keep her close and her friends away.

“P-Pinn…I…” Agent 9 forced the words to leave her throat, “I’m so confused. My head hurts. I-.”

“Is he in your head?” Pinn asked Agent 9 without a second thought. Exactly as Agent 9 had expected. How she hated it.

“No! No, not at all! Stop asking about that!” Agent 9 stepped swiftly back from Pinn. Her face seemed blurred. Did she even understand what kind of pressure Agent 9 was under? She felt SICK! Why…why couldn’t Pinn understand?

9 felt herself spiraling yet again.

‘I mean–, maybe? Maybe he is? I-I keep thinking back to him. I-I’m scared to be alone but I just want to run away and never hear another octoling or inkling again! I feel like I’m being crushed yet pulled like bubblegum- and I’m scared of seeing his face but-. I-’ Agent 9 had no idea where any of these thoughts came from, ‘I want to be back by Tartar’s side…I want to hear what he has to say about humanity and- and my kind–.’

‘I no longer wish to be free…’

Agent 9 hadn’t noticed until she had really felt the cold that Pinn had wrapped her arms around her. She was silent and Agent 9 felt…her head stop hurting and she felt her body slowly stop quivering. Pinn brushed Agent 9’s red hair away from her ear.

“…Your thoughts are spiraling out of control, aren’t they? I felt the same after the encounter with Sugar. I felt the same every time I recognized one of those sanitized. It’s…not easy splatti…no, killing those who were once your own comrades. I tried to not think about it, thinking how you thought about them, as mere zombies that didn’t deserve remorse but-…” Pinn shook her head, “I couldn’t. I knew every face I saw.”

“Now…” Pinn stood up and took Agent 9’s hand in her own. She had felt this before. Where from?

“You tell me your experience with the metro. Explain it slow, and think about your words. What colors did you see? Smells? Feelings? Sounds?”

Agent 9 stared down at her feet. She took deep breaths and thought from the first moment she opened her eyes and saw the metro. “I…” She closed her eyes to think, only opening them once the whirlpool in her head settled.

“I was confused at first. I was scared. It smelt…watery and damp. I heard dripping almost as if it had just rained. It was…cold. Really, really cold. Not to mention Cuttlefish. I was so scared when he almost attacked us a second time! I remember grey…like a lot of grey. There was some yellow! Like- Like caution tape!” Agent 9 felt a scowl come across her face, “That would’ve been useful before we even saw Tartar! Maybe we could’ve wrapped up his mouth and demanded answers!!”

Pinn laughed. “How were we going to get answers if he couldn’t talk? Then again, maybe we could’ve beat the real answers out of him with Cuttlefish’s cane! Ever notice his cane is a bamboozler? Those can do some fast damage. Might have to pick one up some time.”

They soon came to a bedroom. It looked just as cozy as the rest of the house. Every inch of it was covered in some form of color. Agent 9 saw blues, pinks, reds, purples. Agent 9 had been in that metro for so long, she had forgotten what color looked like! The yellow walls were a perfect contrast to the mostly cooled color of the room.

“I had almost forgotten what colors were. We really were inside that metro for…ever! This is…amazing. I love this!” Agent 9 snuggled into a pile of toys in the corner. One even reminded Agent 9 of her beloved octopus toy she had back in Octo Valley. Agent 9 wrapped her arm around the toy as she snuggled into the toy pile.

Pinn scooped up a pillow of a sea shell before giving it a sniff. “Dang! Pearl really made sure this room was as fresh as it could be!” Pinn set the pillow back down on the bed. She snuggled the blankets. “And these blankets are super soft! I have a feeling I’m going to sleep better than I ever have before tonight…” Pinn shut the light off.

For once since the metro, Agent 9 felt as happy as she did with Tartar.

…Well, it was nice while it lasted.

It would only be so long until her thoughts looped back around to Commander Tartar. Agent 9 shuffled, moving onto her back. The octopus toy was held tightly in Agent 9’s arms. She felt her scar glow once more. She could remember Tartar’s angry, blue…no, red eyes. They were red. He had been low on battery during all of that. Was…it an accident? Was everything he did just an accident? Maybe he hadn’t meant to hurt her or her friends. Tartar was just…low on battery.

Yet, the more Agent 9 tried to think of what happened as an accident, the clearer the scene in her head got. Tartar’s body starting to stand. His claws gripping the ground and leaving marks in the stone platform, the ink falling from his head and dripping from his mouth; the poison he’d soon feed to Agent 9. Agent 9 remembered Tartar’s claws wrapping around Agent 9’s head. The angry but sick smile on his face, as if he was happy he wouldn’t have to hide his true nature anymore. The hot, warm feeling of the sanitized ink dripping from Tartar’s hand as it wrapped around her eye and glasses.

He was just low on battery!

He was just low on battery.

He was just low on battery…

He was…just…low…

Agent 9 tossed and turned throughout the night. These plush toys weren’t as comfortable as she had thought they were. They felt nearly as hard as rocks now. What happened while she was asleep? Why couldn’t she even sleep? What was keeping her up? Was it just a new place or was it these thoughts that wormed into her head like maggots? Why couldn’t she just forget his face? His voice? Why couldn’t she…just sleep?

Agent 9 sat up in her toy pile and looked over at Agent 8. Her sister slept under the blanket as a small lump, having shifted into her swim form. Agent 9 stared down at her hands. She didn’t have a swim form like the others and she had always felt the worst, gnawing jealousy whenever she saw the others in their swim forms. Why couldn’t she have been normal? She just had to wake up from that chamber. A freak from creation. She…needed away from these people. She needed to clear her mind.

Agent 9 pulled herself away from the toy pile and silently made her way to the bedroom door. She left the octopus toy she had been snuggling protectively just moments before behind. She’d return before long. Just…she couldn’t stay around these inferior, horrible creatures her friends. Agent 9 needed a break.

Agent 9 closed the bedroom door behind her without a sound. The entire house was completely black. Agent 9 pulled her glasses away from her face, blinking a few times. Her eyes immediately felt discomfort go through them for a quick moment. Her eyes started to adjust to the cool darkness around her. The hallway stretched far out before her. For just a moment, she swore she saw Tartar’s figure again. It still followed her. Why did it follow her everywhere when it was dark?

The darkness stretched out its hand. ‘Follow me!’ It chattered inside Agent 9’s head, ‘I’ll get you somewhere safe. I promise,’ It seemed to smile. Agent 9 took its hand and allowed the darkness to pull her along tenderly through the halls. It reminded Agent 9 of how Tartar pulled her along onto the train to Trenchopolis. Now that’s a place Agent 9 would love to go back to.

Glow worms far, far above creating what looked like stars. The lights of the city all around shining onto the dome roof. Agent 9 wanted to run around for hours and see everything the city had to offer! She even made a friend who was a goblin shark. He couldn’t see well though which made roughhousing much harder. Tartar was not happy to see Agent 9 riddled in bites. Agent 9 would imagine that her friend’s parents weren't very happy about the biting either because Agent 9 definitely got her licks in too. Agent 9 got help from Tartar though!

Agent 9 peeked around the corner, finding yet another hallway. This place was like a dang maze! Where was she even going? She needed an exit, not to be led around aimlessly!

“Who are you?” Agent 9 finally asked, “Why are you leading me in circles?” Agent 9 stared at the dark figure before her. It seemed to grow smaller when 9 questioned it. ‘You haven’t realized yet?’

“You said you would help me out of here.”

‘No, I never said anything like that. …9, I’m trying to get you somewhere safe. Agent 8 doesn’t have what we want. Neither does Tartar, you need to realize that part. Especially that part.’

“Where are you leading me?”

‘Where are you leading yourself? You’re arguing with your own thoughts again, 9, and you need to wake up.’

Agent 9 blinked and found herself in front of the door to Marina’s and Pearl’s room. She could open it and talk to Marina and Pearl and try to find comfort in their meaningless words…or she could confront Tartar and throw the biggest tantrum until she can’t anymore. Neither option seemed right but what other option did she have? Nothing. She needed to take matters into her own hands. She needed comfort from the first person she could think of.

Agent 9 finally snuck out of one of the back exits to Pearl’s huge mansion. She hated how big it was! Agh! …But at least she was out now. Out and ready to do what she needed to. She felt like a shifty dragon. Sneaking out and keeping one huge secret. The ocean waves filled her ears as Agent 9 swiftly hopped over the sand that threatened to suffocate her and pull her deeper into itself. The fog winded around her, making it far harder to see than she would’ve preferred. She could feel her heart racing in her chest.

As the ocean drew closer, Agent 9 slowed down and came to a steep stop. She…didn’t quite know how to swim, did she? Obviously, none of her friends could teach her, could they? They couldn’t touch the water like she could. They’d literally explode! Stupid things. Tartar didn’t teach her to swim either; he never got the chance to. Stupid telephone! Better yet, stupid water! Agent 9 hated water! RAH!

…Suddenly, this simple plan wasn’t as simple as Agent 9 had hoped it would be. The ocean was deep! She’d drown long before getting to the statue which seemed to only get further and further away the more she looked at it.

This plan was hopeless.

Agent 9 would never get to the statue.

She would never get back to Tartar.

Agent 9 felt her legs collapse under her onto the wet sand. The cold water lapped at her knees. As she looked into the water, she noticed something strange about her reflection. It had large, yellow eyes with red irises (Tartar taught her too much about eyes, bleh) that looked sharp with distrust and weariness. Agent 9 wrinkled her nose a little and the new reflection followed, crinkling its short snout. As Agent 9 brought up a hand, her reflection’s eyes widened and there was a loud splash followed by the worst noise that Agent 9 had ever heard. It sounded like some beast!

Agent 9 drew back quickly and grabbed some sand in her fist. Before her was a long, long creature of some kind. It opened and closed its jaw to create a slamming noise. It slammed them together and continued its beast cry. It was hard to tell the exact size of the thing considering the intense fog. It looked huge though!

The salmonid kept grunting and slamming together the metals, drawing closer and closer to Agent 9.

She knew what this was. She had often heard of them from Octavio who used his allies to scare Agent 9 into staying in bed at night.

A Steel Eel. Large, gnashing jaws; the horrible noise; the huge size; it all made sense now. She was face to face with one of the most terrifying of the salmonids and she hadn’t even realized it!

The Steel Eel only got closer and closer to Agent 9. It wanted to hurt her. As it circled around Agent 9, it kept up the horrible, awful grunting noise along with the reverberating metal. It wanted to scare her into running away, that much was obvious. There was a slam right next to her ear and Agent 9 felt her breath catch in her throat. The sands’ hands reached up to pull her in. She couldn’t handle a breath. She was sinking further and further into the cold sand. The wind blew past her, stealing her breath easily. The slamming and grunting only seemed to grow ever louder. With her eyes still closed, she cried out, “Please! STOP! I’m sorry! I-I-I-I just want my friend, Tartar!” The noises died down; the night now filled with Agent 9’s soft crying. Was…Was the steel eel…gone?

Agent 9 blinked the tears from her eyes and slowly raised her head. The fog still curled around like a thick coat. The steel eel…was gone it seemed. Perhaps it lost its way in the fog? Agent 9 looked to her side, finding the face of the salmonid directly in her face. Its large, yellow eyes stared into Agent 9’s as she yelled loudly and scrambled back from the pan and lid wielding menace. It just tilted its head. “Sorry,” It said flatly. It lowered the pan and lid.

Agent 9 shook; she stared back at the salmonid with wider eyes than it. “Uhh…you said Tartar? Like Octavio’s other ally? The commander guy who’s totally grossed out by us?” The salmonid seemed rather calm for having JUST wanted to hurt Agent 9. Speaking of, she still hadn’t responded, still terrified of the salmonid. “I already said sorry for scaring you! Speak up! …C-Coward!” Agent 9 looked around in the fog.

“…Where’s your giant machine?” Agent 9 asked the blue finned salmonid. Suddenly, it panicked and glanced around with shifty eyes and equally jumpy movements. “UH-! Nearby! Totally! And I can and will splat you with it if you don’t speak up! I want answers! What are you doing so close to a salmonid area?! Don’t you know that’s against the law?!” The salmonid tried to sound intimidating. It curled its fins.

Agent 9 knew her maps, somewhat at least. If she remembered correctly, this place wasn’t that close to a ‘swim zone’, right? Why would Pearl’s…dad(?) built this close to a salmonid swim zone?

Agent 9 slowly stood up. She wasn’t much bigger than the salmonid, about equal height with it actually!

The salmonid grew tense once more and suddenly started to wave around the frying pan again. Agent 9 stepped back, staring directly at the frying pan. “You don’t have a steel eel at all, do you? You were using that lid and frying pan to create the noise I heard! …Tartar had a word for that… something better than smart. Uh…” Agent 9 scratched her chin.

“What! Don’t you dare start firing any kind of smarty words! I’ll shuck you up!” The salmonid hopped angrily into the air managing to get a fair amount of air time. Agent 9 could only watch with growing curiosity. “Bleh, I’m not that much like Tartar. I just think it’s cool! You for eel had me terrified! I thought I was a goner for sho, dude! …” Agent 9 couldn’t stop the thick red fuzz from crawling onto her cheeks, “Okay, fine, maybe I talk a little like Tartar. I spent months around that guy,” Agent 9 laughed lightly.

The salmonid tilted its head. “You’re weird,” It commented before scooting a few circles around Agent 9, “I kind of like it. You’re a weirdo octoling like how I’m a weirdo salmonid! Awesome! We should start a band or something!” The salmonid scurried off some, dropping the pan in the sand as their tail wagged. The fog started to lift some and the sight of the statue became clearer. “Oh- Uh- Totally! Yeah! Uhm…what are you doing so far from the rest of the salmon guys?” Agent 9 sat down in the sand.

The salmonid stopped in its tracks before turning back to Agent 9, “Uhhh…soooo…” He looked embarrassed, “Y’know how salmonid have this- super duper weird want to, uh, be killed and eaten as part of this…weirdo cycle of liiiife thingyy??” Agent 9 had heard about it a few times though she always, naturally, like most, thought it was creepy and gross. Agent 9 remembered once when Octavio was having a meeting with both of his allies and he had salmon served. Agent 9 remembered stealing some and eating it under the table. She had never tasted something so dry before! Ha, Octavio found her real fast after that.

“Weeeeell, I kind of…ran away because that’s totally creepy! I wanted to get a steel eel vehicle first but y’know, that, obviously, wouldn’t fit inside the backpack so I gave up! I sneaked outta vehicle training and swam till I found the shores! I’ve been in the water for a while. Then I saw you and was totally panicked! I thought you were about to-,” The salmonid suddenly started gnashing its snout around, making horrible, indiscernible noises that sounded like a living animal being torn to shreds. Agent 9 covered her mouth, completely wide eyed.

“Y’know?? I thought I was aboutta become algae wafers!” The salmonid hit one fin with the curled up other one. “Thanks for not doing that to me!” The salmonid hopped up to Agent 9 again. “So! What’s your name, future bandmate??”

Agent 9 wasn’t quite sure what to answer with. Should she really admit that her name was a mere number? A number that meant to represent how many that Tartar had previously killed? “Uhm…” Agent 9 looked back at the small ocean waves, “Splaashii? My real name is just a number so we’ll say my name is Splaashii!” Agent 9 pointed to herself with a wink.

“Splaashii! Wow! How…morbid for an octoling. Considering you guys certainly splash before being splatted!” The salmonid proceeded to copy Agent 9’s actions as he said, “I’m Alumin! Y’know? Aluminium? Like the metal? Like these plates I have across my back! I might’ve scrapped together some old pans from a stinger to make them! Check em out!” Alumin shook out his back, letting the metal plates clatter.

“That’s how you made it seem like you had a steel eel vehicle with you! Wow! That’s so resourceful! You’re awesome!” Agent 9 scooped up Alumin before falling over immediately afterwards. The two erupted into laughter that echoed throughout the night air.

Alumin suddenly jabbed his tail into Agent 9’s stomach, knocking her off. “TAG! Bet you’ll never catch me!” Alumin made a mad swim through the sand, his tail wagging. Agent 9 chased Alumin as best as she could. “Hey! How old are you!”

“I’m ‘bout 7, maybe 8!” Alumin splashed some sand up in Agent 9’s face as she slipped and fell first into the soft dust. Agent 9 spat out the copious amounts of sand and shook some of the fake suckers from her hair. “Get back here! You’ll never escape me! I’m the Tag Champion! Woo!” Agent 9 launched forward, grabbing directly onto Alumin. The two toppled and tumbled through the sand, stopping at the shoreside as Agent 9 shoved Alumin’s face into the sand. “Bam! Got you!” The two erupted into laughter once more, “Not very easy to run from someone with legs, is it?” Alumin snapped his neck back to spit green sludge directly into Agent 9’s face. “AAAH!! EW! Gross! Blehk!” Agent 9 toppled off of Alumin’s back, sweeping the ooze from her face. “Gross!!!” When she opened her eyes, Alumin was pointing and laughing at her from the water. Agent 9 felt her face go red.

Oh she’d show that salmonid!

Before Agent 9 could even realize what she did, cold water surrounded her body and the ground disappeared from underneath her. Agent 9 waved her arms around. Those movies that Tartar had shown her made this look far easier. All coherent thoughts disappeared as Agent 9 began to panic. She didn’t know how to swim!

Agent 9 flailed her arms and legs around, gasping for air and snorting copious amounts of salty ocean water. It slipped down her throat. The noises that escaped her throat were the closest to real octarian that she had ever gotten. A sudden force rammed into her stomach. Nearly launching her back out of the water onto the shore.

Agent 9 clutched her stomach, now curled onto the sand. Alumin crawled onto the shore and was quick to 9’s side. “Are you okay!? Also- yooo, how did you not get splatted??” Alumin flipped 9 onto her back and flopped full force onto Agent 9’s stomach and chest. She coughed loudly and shuddered. “Uhh–” Agent 9 groaned softly, “I…I feel awwwful…” Agent 9 whined slightly.

Alumin nodded, “That’s one part o’ my question, and the other part?” Agent 9 raised her head, staring into Alumin’s wide, red eyes. “Uhh…yeah, no, I’m not an octoling. Not even gonna pretend.” Alumin pushed his muzzle further onto Agent 9 like a clingy pet (something Agent 9 never experienced as she’s never had a pet before). “Then what are you?”

Agent 9 would’ve preferred not to answer this question as, she herself, was still getting used to the truth, “Well, uhm, y’see. I am a huuu…huuuge g-great octo weapon!” Agent 9 chickened out of the real answer with a large nervous grin. Judging by Alumin’s squint, he didn’t buy it. “You’re tiny.”

“Dam it… Alright fine, so, uhm,” Agent 9 looked away from Alumin’s large, pressuring eyes, “Well, y’see. I’m a human. I think Octavio found me and I think I was training to be a real soldier before the Calamari Inkantation when I definitely escaped with Agent 8 and definitely got totally kidnapped by Tartar, who’s now sitting in that statue. Maybe dead.”

Alumin’s eyes went wide and his jaw fell agape. “Whaaaaaa??? No WAY! You’re an oddball just like me!” Alumin crawled off of Agent 9 and helped her stand up. “That’s seriously awesome!”

“You uh- don’t mind?” Agent 9 couldn’t believe it, really.

“Of course not! Now if we make a band, we’ll be EXTRA special! We’ll be the coolest band in Inkopolis! We just need a catchphrase and name and we’ll totally be the next ω-3! How totally sweet!” Alumin punched at the air.

“You uh- seem really, really hung on this idea of a band…” Agent 9 looked off into the distance towards the NILS Statue once again. “OF COURSE! Only the smartest of the salmonids create bands! Salmonid music acts as a beacon of sorts to excite and rile up fellow Salmonid! It’s a battle cry! Think about it, Splaashii! We’ll be the coolest and smartest band ever! Our names could be in the BOOKS!”

Agent 9 certainly thought about it before laughing, “All of my words are off because I’m human! You think I’m gonna go up on stage and mis-say every word? Yeah, no thanks. I also don’t think I could deal with that.”

Alumin folded one fin over the other, “We don’t have to go on stage and you don’t have to sing! That’s the cool part of Salmonid music! No singing! I mean, you can if you want but there really isn’t a point! All that matters is what people feel when they listen to it!” Alumin skittered over to the sand’s edge. “When was the last time you heard a song that really made you feel something?” Alumin jumped into the water and began to swim around effortlessly.

Agent 9 approached the water and felt it lap against her feet.

That would be the Calamari Inkantation. It was a pretty moving song, yes, but the song mainly made Agent 9 feel confused. Everyone was leaving the area and suddenly, everyone was leaving the valley. It was a wordless chant moving everyone towards a nicer place. A utopia of light and the wildest of dreams! …

Agent 9 groaned loudly and tore her hair over her eyes.

Alumin looked over and swam up, resting his snout on the sand, “Ah. Anger. Such a strange feeling when it comes to music! Well? What was the song?” Agent 9 brushed her hair from her face, revealing the horrible scar to Alumin. Alumin looked a little startled to see the vibrant blue upon her skin.

“You’d never believe me but the Calamari Inkantation.”

Alumin gasped loudly, “WOAH! THAT thing!? No WAY! That’s crazy!! You were one of the octarians that were a part of that?? Wait- why did that make you angry?” Agent 9 rolled her eyes, “It wasn’t the Calamari Inkantation part that made me angry. What made me angry was him,” Agent 9 pointed out to the statue.

“…A statue made you…angry??” Agent 9 facepalmed.

“No! Tartar made me angry! And yet, I want to save him. I don’t know why after he tried to blast the world apart.” As Agent 9 stared out at the statue, the laser suddenly cracked, falling down into the ocean.

“Wait, is he really gone?? You have no idea how long the salmonid have been waiting for him to perish! They’ve been waiting to turn him into scrap for our weapons for a super long time! They’ll be looting soon I’m sure.”

Agent 9 was horrified at the thought. Thousands of silver and red scales heading towards the statue. Gnashing teeth of all shapes. Grasping fins and scrambling to get to Tartar first. She blurted out something without thinking, “W-Well-! They can’t have him!” Agent 9 started to shake her head, “He’s uh- uhm…well, he’s my friend. Kind of. Point is– I need to go to him!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll just cancel that messenger,” Alumin teased. He looked back at the statue, “It’s a long swim though and knowing that you DEFINITELY can’t swim, I’d say you’re totally screwed! Squid outta luck!” Agent 9 groaned and laid down on the ground, “I KNOW! I’ll never get to the statue and I’ll never save my friend and he’s going to rot away into nothing and I’ll never forgive myself and-!” Alumin looked down at his fin. “…Hop onto my back.”

“W-What?”

With that, Alumin was swimming through the waves at a steady pace. He made sure not to go too fast and he would check up on 9 from time to time to make sure she was still there. “For being nearly as old as me, you’re a great swimmer. Please teach me sometime,” Agent 9 rested against his back slightly. He raised his head above the water. “WHAT!?”

“PLEASE. TEACH. ME. HOW. TO. SWIM. SOMETIME. PLEASE!”

“Tell me when we get back to the shore! I don’t…!” And that was everything 9 could hear. Alumin dove underneath the water a little more once again. Agent 9 stayed above the waves.

Alumin came to a steady slow right before pushing 9 up onto the floating gun which now leaked sanitized ink into the surrounding waters. 9 crawled onto the gun and shivered. Her clothes clung onto her body which didn’t make it any better. Alumin hopped onto the laser cannon. “Brrr…! That water’s so cold!” Agent 9 shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. She pulled off her shirt and tried to squeeze the water from it. The night breeze came through once more as she put her damp shirt back on.

“You said it! Not to mention this strange ink in the water is making me feel all siiiick. Too much miiint. I felt seasoned enough before but this is irritating! Have you ever felt something worse on your skin?” Alumin went to try licking it from his scales.

“Don’t!” Agent 9 shouted, “Tartar uses that stuff to control people. It’s totally creepy!”

Alumin’s tongue reeled back into his mouth faster than one of those bug-eyed lizards Tartar had shown Agent 9, “Woah! Not cool! Why are we trying to help this guy?? I don’t like the idea that he can just do that,” Alumin shuddered, shaking out his entire body in an attempt to shake off the ink that clung to his scales, “Uuugh, this stuff is impossible! Not even a scale scraper could get this stuff off my scales!” Alumin started scratching at his scales. “We’re going to have to talk to someone about getting a shield around this place. You already know I don’t like my fellow salmonids but I SO do NOT want to see them attempt to raid this place and get brainwashed! Salmonids have too many weapons and Tartar doesn’t need any of them!”

“Ehhh, that’s thinking he uses your weapons in the first place. He hates you guys! He thinks you guys are gross! Have you ever seen someone freak out over a spider? Yeah, Tartar does that. It’s kind of funny,” Agent 9 stood up and flapped her hands, jumping from foot to foot, “‘EWWW!! Agent 9! I hate slammmonidds! They get their slime everywhere and are gross!!’” Alumin burst into laughter immediately. The laughter would soon die down with Alumin scratching at his scales again.

Agent 9 dipped her fingers into the water, staring at the glowing ink on her fingers. A soft sizzling filled the air. “Alumin, I don’t think the ink has spread very deep in the water. You can dive down to the deeper parts and wash off. I…don’t think I can get hurt so, maybe, I can create an opening for you to jump through?”

Alumin scratched his gills and glanced at Agent 9, “Is this ink not how you lost your eye!? Did you lose your mind with it?? I don’t want you losing fingers too!” Agent 9 felt the red fuzz on her face again. “M-…Mhm…”

“That’s the worst burn I’ve ever seen! How are you okay?”

“…I can’t feel it. I can’t feel any sting from it. Just warmth,” Agent 9 stared back at Alumin who stared at his scales and started to flick off the ink. “Just warm? No pain at all? Sounds like a curse.”

“A curse? How?”

“You can’t feel pain, what if you have a super bad ouchie like a missing arm? You can’t feel it so it would just get badder, wouldn’t it?” Alumin’s words sunk in for Agent 9 and a quick shudder ran through her.

“Okay, okay, I get it. Sounds pretty bad! …Then again, if I did lose an arm, I could replace my arm with my leg! What’s the difference? I could be like Tartar and have a robot arm! O-Or, I could replace it with an octoling arm and then part of me could shift!”

Alumin shot Agent 9 a…look of some kind. Agent 9 couldn’t tell what he was currently feeling. “No?? Legs are WAY different! They’ve got feet too! Not hands! Replacing one limb with another is just as bad toooo! I know a scraper with their entire beak missing. It’s gnarly!”

Agent 9 stared into the water again. “Whatever, let’s just focus back on getting you in the water again and get that ink off!” Agent 9 splashed her arms into the water. The ink hit her skin and sizzling could be heard instantly. “Get in and wash off, this doesn’t hurt, promise,” Agent 9 smiled an anxious smile towards Alumin. He sighed and jumped into the water.

Below the surface, Agent 9 could see Alumin swimming ever deeper into the water to get the ink to run off his scales. It floated up back towards the surface. As Agent 9 splashed again to keep the ink away from the opening, she started to feel…amazed by the sight of the water far below. The ink provided enough light to see far beneath the surface. A squid drifted towards the surface as if to investigate the ink. Agent 9 could see it’s…what was the word? It was a long word like all of the words Tartar taught Agent 9. Agent 9 could see its croww-mah-trophies shifting to mimic the ink as it got closer to it. It was adorable! Agent 9 slowly reached her hand towards the squid before catching it swifter than it could swim away.

It sprayed ink all over her hands and started trying to slip from her hands. Agent 9 scrambled up to stand and ran around the laser, “I CAUGHT A SQUID! I CAUGHT– CREATURE! CREATURE! SQUID! SQUID! SQUID! SQUID!” The squid slipped from her hands just as Agent 9 slipped on the laser, “Whoops-” Agent 9 fell into the water head first. The squid slid out of Agent 9’s hands with ease, spraying Agent 9 with ink for salt in the wound.

Agent 9 flailed in the water. At this rate, she’d just need to get used to drowning! This is the second time!

A force punched Agent 9 in the stomach again, forcing her upwards. It was Alumin again. He looked peeved this time, “Why would you jump back in– actually- you know what? You’re going to learn how to at least tread water!” Alumin grabbed Agent 9 and forced her to stop struggling, “First thing all salmon learn first,” Alumin swam underneath Agent 9 and grabbed her legs. He started to move them back and forth, encouraging Agent 9 to keep it up.

Alumin came back to the surface and held up his fins, “Now take these, and move them back and forth, got it? Good, finally! Swimming is all about not panicking, okay? Not panicking is the most important part!” Alumin swam behind Agent 9 and pushed her towards the cannon. Agent 9 pulled herself onto the cannon and Alumin quickly joined her.

“Gonna have to try sending a message because one of our- the salmonids’ Horrorboroses might try to sap whatever energy this statue has left and uh-, that would be bad…”

“Horrorboros…es? There’s multiple?”

“Yeah! Basically as rare as goldies. Only certain stingers are lucky enough to get training to turn into one of those…”

“Are they really as big as everyone says?”

“Even BIGGER! Leviathans! KINGS!” Agent 9 looked to the sky, imagining what a Horrorboros could look like among the stars. Swimming up there in the sky sea. “They must be… uuuugh, Tartar had a word for it… Majjjeyy. Like magic!”

“Majey! That could be a good name for our band. Best part, it makes no sense!!”

“Ehh…we can do better, future bandmate,” Agent 9 nudged Alumin, getting another laugh out of him. Alumin’s eyes wandered to the statue one more time. He looked down into the water and snagged a piece of stone that had been broken loose and nearly had sunken. He tossed it into the air and smacked it with his tail. It flew through the air and tapped hard against the side of the statue, close to the opening of the eye. “Are you sure that eye is the only way inside that statue, Splaashii?”

“No, there’s definitely other openings like the bottom and head of the statue, but those lead to the inners. Tartar’s in the eye and we didn’t find a way in there. …I could go for an orange right now.”

Alumin chittered. He grabbed a piece of glass from the water next and headbutted it with force. It chipped on the side of the eye too, knocking some dust into the water. “Darn it. It’s so hard when it’s such a small hole. I gotta practice!”

“What are you planning to do?” Agent 9 dipped her hand into the cold waters to hand Alumin a piece of plastic. It too was headbutted towards the statue. “I think I’m more accurate with my head… anyways! My plan is to hit you into the statue! There’s no way you’ll be able to climb into that. It’s too high and we’re too little! Hand me another piece, would you? A rock would be nice, it’s more accurate to your weight.”

Agent 9 wedged her fingers into the laser they sat on and pulled out a decent chunk of the stone. Some blood was on her hand. Who knew humans were so easy to bleed?

Alumin took the rock and readied his head. He threw the chunk up and slammed his head into it. It whizzed through the air and went directly through the eye. A clatter ran through the night.

Agent 9 flinched with a slight snicker, “I think you hit Tartar, haha!” Alumin laughed along, “I think I did too! Tell him I’m sorry, Splaashii!” Alumin reached his fin towards Agent 9 and gently moved her into the right place. “Okay, this might hurt a little. But don’t worry! I’m a profreshional! Promise! I’d do this to the other smallfry in my hatching, some fish would’ve taken me for a steelhead for my hard head.”

Agent 9 took a deep breath. “I’m ready,” She stared at the statue in front of her and the eye she needed to head through. “Let’s do this!”

Alumin paused and slowly turned Agent 9 the other way around, “Sorry, I don’t want to hit your back. Your stomach is softer with less dangerous things to hit,” Alumin backed up once more, “Alright. Now we’re ready. Let’s do this…” Alumin took a deep breath and moved to the edge of the laser.

“I’m ready! Hit me!”

Alumin charged and slammed his head directly into Agent 9’s stomach, sending her flying. Her back slammed into the statue, giving her very little time to grab onto the ledge of the eye and pull herself up into it. Her hands dug into the stone, getting a near perfect hold. Agent 9 wouldn’t know but her spine didn’t like that impact with the stone.

Agent 9 heaved and slowly pulled herself into the statue. Her lungs hurt. She laid on the stone, taking one, deeply needed breather. Pink ink still coated the inside of the statue even if Pearl’s voice blasted the ink off the outside of the statue. Down below, Alumin cheered loudly, Agent 9 could hear him loud and clear.

Agent 9 placed a smile on her face as she glanced around the inside of the statue. Tartar must’ve felt real cool standing in this alcove, staring down at the ocean water flow below. Speaking of him, where was he?

Agent 9 looked around inside the statue.

It was filled with papers still despite the viscous pink ink everywhere. Chalkboards and crazy scribbles on the walls beneath the ink. Theories about evolution and Tartar’s first hypothesis on getting DNA from sea life. Agent 9 felt an ominous feeling in the air. She was seeing a real look into Tartar’s mind. He really was crazy. 12,000 years will do that. Yet, Agent 9 still felt bad for him. His words about his professor echoed in Agent 9’s head. She felt terrible. She had been his connection to his beloved creators. Agent 9 couldn’t help but imagine how he had felt when he had first seen her.

Agent 9! Stop getting so…sappy. He did horrible things! If he really cared, he wouldn’t’ve hurt you so willingly.

…

Agent 9 ignored the thought as she picked up his knocked off cap from the floor. She looked up from the hat and over at the wall. Against it, Tartar laid still, his head down. A soft whirring was within the statue. Perhaps Tartar was still in there somewhere. Agent 9 slowly put his hat on her head. It was far too big for her and it reeked of mint and oil. Agent 9 gave a salute and her best serious face. She broke down into loud giggles.

Agent 9 approached Tartar before slowly snuggling up against his arm which laid beside him. His outfit was rather soft still. Agent 9 snuggled his side, murmuring, “Tartar… psst. Tartar…” She tugged on Tartar’s arm, making it wrap around her. “Tartar…!” Agent 9 slowly rested her head on his stomach. His hat’s brim hid her eyes. “If I say I’m sorry about what happened, will you wake up?” Agent 9 stared at Tartar.

“…I should just stop. You’re probably dead. E-…Even if I really, really don’t want you to be,” Agent 9 snuggled against as she said this. “…It’s all my fault…” Tears clouded Agent 9’s eyes abruptly. She sobbed loudly beside Tartar. “Please wake up…! I’ll be good-, I’ll help out- a-and I’ll- I’ll help you with wiping out sea life except for Eight and Off the Hook! O-Oh and Alumin too!”

Drowsiness began to set in for Agent 9. Her eyes slowly shut at the sound of Tartar’s body whirring. The ocean waves crashed outside of the statue. Agent 9 let sleep take her away, feeling Tartar’s hand slowly begin to trail down her back and rub gently.

[soulsxng]

🎰

@lunarxdaydream | Crackship Roulette | No longer accepting!

Marina & Vanyllo (Marina is an ocean goddess, right? So maybe even though Nyl is typically pretty iffy around deities he doesn't know and a lot of those that he does, that would at least be enough to have him soften up a little? I hope??)

"Look, I don't know what a goddess like you would want with me. Unless you're looking to hire me for something? Sorry m'lady, but I've gotten burned taking contracts from deities before, so I'm not in the habit of doing it anymore." As usual, masked face bore little in respects to what the assassin might be thinking...but the way his gaze hadn't left her once since they'd met was probably enough to suggest that he was on edge.

Aurelia & Baphomet (Well, I can say right away that Baet is going to try to convince her into becoming one of his followers. He, uh. He does that. Especially with witches. So I'm sorry in advance if Aurelia doesn't like that.)

"You have quite the powerful gift, don't you?" Softly glowing eyes surveyed the woman as he watched her from where he had leaned on a tree nearby. He'd appeared mostly out of nowhere, it seemed, so Baphomet was fully expecting her to lash out in some degree. "Excuse me for intruding on you-- I was passing through, and couldn't help stopping to watch for a minute."

Harkan & Pythius (The way I choked on my drink when I saw this one, oh MAN. All in all though, I always like seeing how Py interacts with other demons, and they seem like they have some similar interests, so they actually could probably get along in that respect!)

"Mm...?" Gaze flicked from the frankly ragged looking being on the ground, to the newcomer that had just rounded the corner. His expression, though first a sharp glare, jaw set with the frown on his face, quickly smoothed over. An easy smile soon replacing it as Pythius gave a shrug. "Some people, y'know? Coming out of nowhere, trying to take your head off...talk about pushy! I mean really, take me out to dinner or something first. You're not a friend of his, are you? That'd be unfortunate."

Violetta & Jaspern (Ruler shenanigans? Ruler shenanigans. That aside, Violetta just seems like the type of person that would catch Jas' eye anyway...whether that ends up being for good or bad reasons though, he'd decide after he got to know her a little bit.)

"Empress Violetta, I presume?" Jaspern's head lowers in a small nod of greeting. That lopsided smile that always felt a little more like a self-confident smirk at his lips. "I've heard a good deal about you-- it's nice to finally be able to put a face to the name. I apologize for the short notice...had I known more than a few days in advance that I would be visiting the fae realms, I would have given you more courteous amount of warning."

Aria & Pereux (I don't know why exactly, but I feel like they might have an interesting dynamic? I can't find too much on Aria to tell for sure yet, though!)

"If I were you, I would stay away from the area beyond here, tonight. Death looms near, and it would seem that fate sees fit to gift them with quite the offering." Cryptic as it might be, Pereux didn't seem to mind. Lounging in the grass as she watched the area that she spoke of with a distinct interest. It was quiet, but...the feeling of forboding, even as slight as it may be, was unmistakable. "I imagine that you would rather not become one of the victims, yes? Perhaps you might consider taking the longer way around."

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary384

10/10-11/24

thursday - friday

okay...i'm stupid...i played termina too much tonight.

plus we did not get to seem friends from la but sunday should be a good day... uhmmmm. yeah!

i sent the email to the director, which is ssick, plus i sent the problem song to a friend to get their thoughts on how it sounded, they said it sounds cool, so maybe i wait a bit to hear it again, i listened to some of my other songs i'm working on and am getting excited about them again, so that is very very nice. today is also a really good day, someone i know distantly, we were in a music server forever ago though i dunno if she remembers me well at all, she listened to my album and said this about it:

really #happy! it makes me feel kind of crazy seeing people throw praise towards me, i have no idea what to do, i feel guilty almost, like it's something i have to reciprocate, it seems always done out of kindness, so having that kind of thing directed at me feels strange and new, people are so kind, though, i like people.

i think i talked about it before but i always like bow my head at people who are nice to me online... i'm a freak i guesss.

okay, i also did see dfa1979 live tonight, they're really fun live, sound good, it was cool to see jesse's setup, i didn't get a look at his pedals but i'm not so interested in that, i was more curious what was going on with his amps / cabs, it seems like 2 large pa cabs almost? not even like regular bass cabs, but they probably are, it's 5 cones on them i think, so it's massively loud and super low freq heavy, there's some nasty and strange mid range stuff too, he's definitely running a harmonizing pedal, and then that into an octave fuzz maybe? that'd be demented honestly, but it sounds like there's some messy stuff going on but no messy tracking, so it's not a synth pedal or anything i think. it could be a new like earthquaker one, i think, but he did some chords on the bass too and it sounded good. he also had his bass get switched out at times, so i wonder what tunings he's messing with. the drummer's the vocalist, always fun to see, they're both charming guys, the crowd was pretty fun and they weren't too bad, kind of like, frat bro-y douche-y vibes but they weren't douches, if that makes sense, i guess just bros, bros chilling. on the way out, my gf and i got asked if we were friends, by a guy who definitely wanted to fuck. he was feeling brave i suppose. but honestly there's not a lot to say about the show... their synth, idk what it was, they'd made the logo say "poop" which is an immature way to mask what you're rocking out with... i dunno why bands do that really, i guess some people are so protective of their sounds, like it's special property or something.

the opener was this band called sticker who sound like nirvana...kinda. i don't wanna be mean but they made me think about how i want them to succeed not cuz they are good but because they seem to just really feel it, so like, for their wellbeing, i want them to make it. but that's maybe mean... i dunno, i just want them to not be sad, i think. i wonder how they sound recorded. the guitar tone is too chorus-y to me. too much nirvana worship in that way.

anyway, i took selfies, today, i don't think i looked uggy, so that is a kind of win. here i am:

kinda bad lighting in one but it's not a bad selfie i think... or it's sort of bad in a good way? i d k. i'm dumb.

kay... i made a lot of progress in termina i hope. i'm on day 2, i opened up 2 parts of prehevil proper, the one gate, and then the church zone you access via the sewer, the sewer seems to have more going on, as well, so i need to figure out what i'm doing there. i think i wanna explore the west of prehevil, the cop enemies are really scary. i can't believe they get back up!! i wonder if i have to like destroy their limbs? as marina i got a spell, red arc, i think, it's really powerful, i've been using it to zap their heads off. i wonder if i can zap the head off of that needle guy... he's so scary to me, made me panic every time i encountered him, really really scary.

i also got to the basement of that woodsman, he like killed his wife cuz she did things with a goat, or maybe she summoned the goat. i need to do some wandering i think, tomorrow, in the area, i found a tunnel made by the bremen army it seems like, i need to figure out where that goes but i don't have a key to that door. also figured out what to do with the heads of enemies and stuff.

here's a funny screenshot i took:

he will not become my friend... i do not know what it is he wants.

okie dokie, i think that's all i have to say. or idk, i really love this game, i was locked in a like, panic striking thing where i was like, okay how will i get out of this one bad situation, and i got out of it, kept exploring, and started making actual progress, and i opened up a couple blood portals to get around better. i just felt a lot of actual panic faced by some enemies, and not sure if my spell actually had that high a hit rate, and i know i can't depend on it because it's gonna drain my sanity... so stressful. it's really perfectly created, and this narrative feels like it's doing more, saying more, like fascist forces using these intensely fucked up vitalist visions of these gods to shape the world, like a kind of psycho-futurist thing almost? war forever because of their bloodlust, and the framing of the jesus figure as bloodthirsty too. its grim vision of 'humanity' is still there, but it feels a little more, i dunno, it's got kindness in it. some of the characters really are kind, i like the people who have stuck by the train. i wonder how i can help them.

now i need to sleep,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mayasdeluca]

Might be an unpopular opinion but I thought WayHaught was awkward in the Tubi movie. They ended so nicely and it just seemed like here they rewrote history to create conflict between them rather than letting them be boringly domestic (not in a bad way) and letting the conflict and chaos happen around them instead. They also caused unnecessary conflict between WyNaught too. Anyway it just made me think no to a Marina Spinoff or on Greys. Let them live and love happily ever after.

I think it was a tough spot for Emily to be in because she's trying to appeal to new viewers since it's a special on a new network and there's potential to have more on it so it can't just be all sunshine and rainbows and especially in a genre like that, I feel like they had to have them deal with something and I don't really think it ended up being all that bad. Of course I would have preferred to see them as just happy domestic wives since we haven't seen them in years and they did end the show perfectly with them getting married but I was a little surprised by how angry some were about how Waverly's behavior was in the movie.

I personally felt like Nicole and Wynonna were just being themselves and having the dynamic they always did...they were always able to give each other the hard truths in their own way that no one else could and have that kind of dynamic and this was no different. I don't know if I would say that they rewrote history either, I think Waverly has always been the type of person who is eager to explore and have adventure and want to test her limits and see where her incredibly smart brain could take her. She's never gotten the chance to leave Purgatory and now she can and there's so much she can do. And of course Nicole understands that even though she loves the life they're having together in Purgatory and Waverly loves that too but won't feel completely satisfied until she can see what else is out there.

The one thing I felt may have been a little strong was implying that Nicole was holding Waverly back because I think Waverly herself was in control of that but it's really hard to determine and analyze all that in a 90 minute special after not seeing these characters for years and having it pick up in a completely different spot. I always trust that Waverly and Nicole are going to be good though and that they're solid despite whatever conflict they may have and most of it is usually them facing it together as opposed to it causing a wedge between them. I really do hope we get more of them again now that we've gotten them back and they aren't just left off where they were after Season 4 which was pretty perfect for all the characters.

I do agree though that I wouldn't necessarily trust what may be in store for Marina in a spinoff or especially on Grey's...they could do all sorts of things to them and I want them to be able to stay in their happy endgame bubble now.

[swordmaid]

I like the idea that marina is someone who isn’t a nice person but she is kind. like she can get quite rude, and she’s generally so direct and blunt that she comes off as someone mean but she does have good intentions. whereas olivia is someone who’s nice but quite unkind ; I like the idea that she projects this image of someone who’s so benevolent and good because she’s the herald of andraste. she’s a symbol of hope to people, someone who’s sent by the maker to shine a light when the world was engulfed in darkness so she plays on that perception of herself. but she also uses that to her advantage for her own means in terms of power. she’s not intentionally cruel - she gains nothing from being someone unpleasant, but everything she does is incredibly calculating and they’re almost always to her own advantage. she’s def insincere.

but anyway I also like the idea of marina having a poor reputation in the south. to them she’s the reason all this shit happened because word of mouth obscured the truth sm, not to mention she’s an elven mage so they definitely think she’s allied with the elven gods. and then here comes POOR inquisitor olivia trevelyan who has to take up her banner again even though she’s already retired and the inquisition is long gone because she’s just so good and kind that she’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do. and now she has to clean up the mess that elf has made but we can always trust her to do what’s right ☺️💓

[nananadolls]

Minis series three will be here in January!

It will include:

Cora Cowgirl - from the recent fuzzy surprise series

Jenny Jaguar - from the fuzzy surprise series

Peter Panda -from the fuzzy surprise series

Zara Zebra - from the fuzzy surprise series

Catie Cat - from the fuzzy surprise series

Tiger Linda - from the fuzzy surprise series

Tuesday Meow - from backpack surprise

Aubrey Heart - from backpack surprise

Mimi Joyful - from the panda family set

Ari Prism - from glam series 1

Whitney Sparkles - from the more recent, non-soft backpack set

a mermaid - from what I can tell, she's new. the only other mermaid afaik is Marina Jewels, who is a teen and has pink hair (the new mini has purple hair).

Source: Youloveit

I find it interesting that they 1) are re-releasing the fuzzy surprise dolls as minis so soon and 2) the rest in the set are pulled from different series. I wonder if they chose the best selling doll from different series?

I'm kind of happy to see the fuzzy surprise as minis--I think the non-soft bodies work better at that size. Any inclination I had to get the fuzzy surprise dolls is pretty much gone because I can just get these instead. I think I'll go for Zara. Also want Whitney--I love her design, even though she's not soft, but she always seems way overpriced to me, and I'm happy with her design as a mini--and I hope to snag the mermaid as well (plus, I already have Britney as a mini, this way she'll be the same size as her sister).

Since they skipped over a lot of older series in making the minis, I wonder if they're going to eventually do them all or not. A little sad we only got one from the glam line--I would love to see my Alice and Cali in mini form. That said, I also think the new mermaid is really cute. It might be nice to see more original characters as minis, especially since some outfits don't transfer to the plastic clothing style well. Mermaid girl looks like she was actually designed to be in this form.

Anyway, long ramble over. Yay for more minis!

[ravenirene]

Rating different sapphic ships for marvel women cause I'm bored. Some ships are mcu based most are comic based

First up Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff

1. Sharon carter - Widow13/Natsharon

9/10

they're adorable, friends to lovers. I love the way they are always complementing each other like sharons saying "but her speed still impress me" or mcu nat in tws saying she was nice, honestly mcu nat seemed more into sharon than mcu steve. Also they got 7th for a comic sapphic ship poll w over 6000 votes, so true of them

2. Bobbi Morse -bobbinat/mockingwidow

10/10

stealing clints wife, literally. There's panels of nat calling bobbi darling. They actually kissed in canon but it was just so nat could give bobbi medicine since she was under influence. After Bobbi gained control of herself again she told bucky to tell nat and I quote from bucky himself "she said to call her if you were still "curious", and clint got all defensive." Anyways they need to kiss again but for real this time.

3. Jessica drew - jessnat

7/10

Caroljess is my #1 but this is also cute. Spider x spider. They had rlly cute moments in secret avengers and avengers assemble(2013). Including this one where nat says jess is her soulmate and those panels of where they get a massage together. In one spiderwoman comic where jess was pregnant they almost had a movie night together until someone interrupts

4. Marina

6/10

Marina is natasha childhood best friend. They met in the red room and sometimes they escaped to watch ballerinas dance. When they got older(1960s?) they had a mission together but the handlers thought Marina was going to deflect from the red room so after the mission they had Natasha put k!ll Marina, nat almost doesn't do it but in the end...anyways they were adorable up until the end. Marina should be referenced again cause the only comic w her is Black Widow 2014

5. Maria hill - blackhill/marianat

9/10

Enemies to lovers to Enemies to lovers to Enemies to...Invincible iron man has major blackhill angst I swear ("but maria hooked up w tony in it" no) their relationship is confusing lowkey one minute they're protective of each other next minute they're bullying one another. But either way Invincible iron man and Black widow 2014 made some big blackhill points. Maria turning to nat cause she was the only one she could trust. Nat comforting maria when she had ptsd flashbacks. Maria saying that nat is the only one she can trust. Taskmaster 2021 where maria faked her death without telling anyone and the blame was put on taskmaster so u have natasha going after him to avenge her. U see taskmaster dialog "bullseye thinks that if u kill the heros girlfriend, their wife or partner or whatever, then you've got an edge on them. But all that does is get them.to come after you harder than ever. I've adopted a 'no wives, no girlfriends, no mothers' policy. Not just because it's gross. Though it is. No, it's because these heros, these guys...it always seems that all they are waiting for is one dead woman to motivate them" what's a hetero explanation for that?!? Nat is literally chasing this man down all throughout the comic and taskmaster is scared sh!t less, the only reason she doesn't kill him is because right before she does maria reveals herself to nat that she's alive. I only put it as 9/10 cause I'm not the biggest on Enemies to lovers plus there was those times where maria does make nat sheilds biggest enemy...

6. Elektra

6/10

They definitely hate f*cked once u can't convince me otherwise. Hate the whole "fighting over matt" thing though

7. Carol danvers - carolnat

5/10

I perfer them as friends but they do have some nice moments.

8. Janet van dyne(not hope)

5/10

I also perfer them as friends(not that ive rlly seen a lot of ppl ship them). They have a cute friendship in black widow and marvel girls

9. Wanda maximoff- wandanat

??/10

They have a total of 5 interactions mcu and comics combined. I see the vision but at the same time they both have better ships

10. Peggy carter - Peggynat

2/10

I see where you're coming from w the what if but I can't stand peggy for whatever reason. Like I won't go online and comment hate on her but I just choose to ignore her. If u ship tho go ahead tho it's legal and not toxic

I think I've covered all of natashas sapphic ships, or at least all the bigger ones. Some.of these probably sound rlly confusing...I'll probably do captain marvel or she hulk next

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 2x04 Victory (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Alright, guys, we're getting into the return of Marina. For better or worse, let's do this!

Lady Crane

Colin is very serious in his carriage ride over to see Marina again. Is he nervous, anxious, unsure of what he's going to get once he's there? All of that - yes?

I love his tophat, though, notice in Season 3 they don't bring that back? Because they didn't want to ruin Colin's hair ;)

Also, is it just me or does the carriage almost look like the backseat of a car here?

I have no deep meta for this. I just wanted to get a better look at his outfit. Just going to throw out there that there was a recent-ish interview with the costume designer that stated the pastels were for a younger version of Colin, and that Season 3 he gets darker, solid colors to signify that he's grown up. Interesting, right?

It's always amusing to me when the level of detail put into things like costumes, props, acting choices, etc, etc, are more thought out than the writing. Because, I may adore this show, but I can't claim the writing is blowing anyone away.

Anyway, Colin does do a little tug on his coat and takes in a deep breath before heading inside - he's ready to face whatever is waiting for him. (And technically, nothing is waiting, since he's arriving unannounced.) Just another instance of how chaotic Colin can be.

Okay, I kind of love the Crane house. It's nice and bright and open and rather inviting. It also looks like the nicest warm day there.

Anyway, so Colin is a bit restless as he waits. When Marina finally arrives, he immediately forgets himself - and calls her Marina, and then Miss Thompson, and then finally Lady Crane before remembering to bow. (Now, the whole bowing thing is going to be phased out, but it's a nice touch here to show he's forgotten himself a bit.

And this is what I think is interesting -- Marina doesn't look unhappy to see him. In fact, she seems amused if nothing else. I don't think a visit from Colin is necessarily a problem. It's when he starts to get too clingy to a romanticized idea of what could have been that she gets annoyed. But I also think -- she and Colin wouldn't have made a good match, and she knows this. Colin's brand of uniqueness just isn't her cup of tea, and that's fine, but Colin has to recognize this.

I will say, he is enamored with her baby. So, it's the second time in two episodes that he's going to be cooing over a small child. I think he's going to be be just fine becoming a father at a young age.

He's also taken aback by the fact that she has twins, though not necessarily in a bad way. And he comes over to say hello to Oliver and comment on his -- wigglyness. Which is a kind of funny delivery. This whole sequence starts out in such a light manner. I can only imagine that Colin, himself, was probably a pretty wiggly child.

Interestingly, Marina is pretty chill about the whole thing. Colin is still acting rather nervous, but I have to hand it to Marina that she's handling all of it in stride. She informs Colin that Sir Philip is not around at the moment, since he is out studying flowers. Colin stumbles over an apology for not extending an invitation.

(Like, my dude - how scandalous would this have been? A young bachelor showing up at someone's house while the husband was away. Colin does what he wants and answers to no one, truly.)

Colin states that he just wanted to check in on her after everything that went down the previous year (season? time makes zero sense in this world). Marina does seem happy with her life (and her wiggly baby - she looks like she's about to break, if I'm being honest, but that's not a bad thing - I'm glad Marina looks happy). And she says she's happy to see Colin. He's delighted by this and joins her for tea.

I honestly love the moment he sits down and just says 'hello' to the baby. Idk why, it cracks me up every time. He may still be on his journey to discovering it, but one of Colin's purposes in life is fatherhood. It really is.

Tea Time

We cut away for some time, and come back to Colin and Marina enjoying some tea. And I kind of love some of the subtleties in this little moment. Colin is telling Marina about all the things he experienced in Greece. He's excited to tell her - because she's someone new who will listen, and not his family, who seems to be over his stories.

When Marina states that it sounds like a 'remarkable' journey, Colin makes the pun that it's remarkable in that he has plenty of 'remarks' about it. Which is... such a dad joke. (I mean, we're gonna get that olive pun in a moment, I didn't realize just how much they were pushing in on the geeky!dad vibes they're giving to Colin this season).

But then there's a very - youthful - moment, in which, Colin pulls himself back in, feeling like his excitement is too outlandish, and he plays with his teacup awkwardly. It's such a small moment, but a nice acting choice, as it shows Colin's discomfort for the situation he's in, and how young and inexperienced he is dealing with emotions and relationships. I mean, Colin is a very empathetic character, but not an experienced one, and the crossroads of the two is on display right here.

And then Marina assuages his discomfort by stating, soundly, that she likes his 'remarks'. And I do think she's sincere, that she probably did enjoy the moment away from being strictly a mother and a wife. But she is quick to thank him for stopping by and is kind of ready for him to go. She can entertain him for a few hours, but that's about all she can handle -- for whatever her reasons are.

When Colin stands - he does ask about Sir Philip. Colin hasn't really made his actual intentions for being there clear. I mean, he says he wants to check in on her. But what he's really looking for (in my opinion) is a sense of purpose. If Sir Philip is a dick, then maybe he can rescue her again -- and that romantic fantasy he's been entertaining since he met her can come into play. It's one part -- his hero complex, if he isn't saving someone, well than what use is he? And one part being caught up in romantic fantasy, which Colin has a tendency to do.

At that moment, however, Sir Philip does show up. And you know what? He's actually a delight. He's all smiles, and seems totally fine that his wife has a male suitor, and the minute Colin says 'Greece' he is all in wanting to hear more.

And of course -- we get one of Colin's most famous lines... 'I oiled my way in... that was an olive joke.' I love this ridiculous pun. I love the look Marina gives him like... dude, you are an awkward little bean, aren't you? And I love that not but a few episodes earlier, Penelope was grumpy because no one was appreciating her ridiculous plant puns.

Cause here's my thing... so many of these love stories happen, and I don't know that I fully understand them -- other than, two people are hot and want to bang. And when they actually show two people who are cut from the same cloth, that match each other's freaks, that make sense being in a relationship based on commonalities -- then I really appreciate that. Colin and Penelope don't need to be in the same scenes to get an understanding that the two of them very much have things in common, and undoubtedly appreciate, enjoy, and understand each other's personalities. It's one of the things that endears me to them so much.

Sir Philip doesn't seem to care about Colin's terrible taste in jokes, he's too busy geeking out over plants. Marina rolls her eyes, because my god, she does not care one bit about plants. But Colin definitely seems interested in hearing about the history of said plants in relation to Greece. He jumps on the chance to hang out with Sir Philip.

And this is where I say -- this universe does not have enough friendships. Like, Colin needs a friend. He's got Penelope - who is clearly his bff, but she's going to fill other roles, too. Sir Phillip seems like he could use a friend, as well. Both of them seem a little starved or actual attention and genuine interest. And I do find it kind of hilarious that Marina entertains him for, like, ten minutes but Sir Philip is going to have him over for hours.

How Colin doesn't wise up to the fact clearly, one of these two people he'd rather spend more time with, I don't know. I love him to death, but sometimes he's kinda dumb.

And... that's where I'm stopping for now! More with Penelope attempting society, as well as the end wrap up of Marina :)

[apinchofm]

Ooh, okay, so unpopular opinion! I respect people who are fans of Penelope and Polin, and even though I'm not on that train yet, I trust the writers will bring me around, like they did with Anthony. I also agree that maybe there's some fatphobia involved with people hating Penelope, or not wanting any sex scenes, or having sexist double standards when it comes to, say, comparing Anthony and Penelope's actions. And tbh, I've only seen a glimpse of the hate Nicola and Luke get for basically anything (their looks, performance, chemistry, behaviour off-set), and it's pretty bad (only got into this fandom, so I didn't even catch the hate Simone or Charithra got, which I assume was a lot worse). It's like they're not even going to give the actors a chance to pull a great, convincing romance/performance.

HOWEVER, it seems like people on the other spectrum are going to complete opposite direction and saying Penelope did NOTHING wrong, which also irks me. Like, you want complex, three dimensional characters, but you're unable to admit that Penelope did significant harm to Marina and Eloise? I don't think Marina or Eloise are fine, because they were hurt by Penelope's actions, and that matters. Marina, who is of lower class when compared to Penelope, which very much matters here because she lacks the security aristocrats do, nearly ended up killing herself, and was incredibly lucky Daphne helped her located Sir George's family otherwise she'd be homeless. But even then, she is now isolated outside town in what looks to be an unhappy marriage ("Not all of us are guaranteed fairytale endings.") Because of the scandal LD caused her, it looks like she'll not be able to return there anytime soon, and it also looks like nobody from there has been writing to her or calling on her (Penelope and Eloise weren't anyway, and we can assume the Featheringtons also weren't because Penelope had to ask Colin how she was. FWI I know we don't see Eloise and Marina interacting, but there was a scene in the pilot script where they and Penelope were all hanging out as friends, so I accept that as canon). Like, there were just so many other ways Penelope could have made Colin aware she was pregnant without involving the rest of the town. People saying she wasn't wrong in that area because it was just the truth are the same people who are say, "I'm not being a bitch, I'm just being honest. Honest about the fact I have nothing nice to say in general." And people hating Eloise for being a bad friend and "not accomplishing anything unlike Penelope", when she was literally trying to do that all season with her feminist work, and was only stopped because Penelope betrayed her! So what, when Eloise tries to do accomplish something worthwhile, she's judged for being reckless and inconsiderate of her family and going against societal values of being a good submissive lady? But when Penelope does the same, she's considerate a badass? Also, since Eloise was warned against doing so by Penelope many times (only to really prevent her from finding out she was LD and not out of any concern for her safety, let's be honest), but was ignored, Penelope had every right to tattle. It's also like saying, "Do what I tell you to do, or I'll punch you in the face. You won't? Okay, I punched you in the face. Don't be mad." While Eloise, unlike Marina, has a Bridgerton get-out-of-jail-free scandal card and does not seem to have to face any long-term consequences, she's now lost both her friends Penelope and Theo, and good luck getting her to trust anyone else again with her secrets or trying to do anything worthwhile.

I can accept that Penelope is a nuanced character whose actions had both good and selfish intentions, and were never maliciously planned out, but I can also accept that she deeply hurt people along the way and should own up to that. I can also accept that Eloise and Marina are also flawed characters who definitely didn't notice Penelope's inner turmoil, but I can recognize that Marina was going through incredible struggles that would never come close to Penelope's, so it's understandable why she wouldn't. I can also accept Eloise is still growing up and learning, at a slower rate than others, but she's still doing it, and perfectly capable of improving. There's also a difference between a bad friend and a straight up Brutus as well, haha.

I don't know, I'm actually interested in what they'll do with Colin and Penelope's season, but idk, it seems like whenever there's a fandom some people just straight up refuse to acknowledge when fictional characters fuck up. Also, leave the actors alone! We can judge them on whether or not they're bad when the season actually comes out.

I'm somewhat interested in season 3 too! But yes, lets discuss the whole Penelope can do no wrong. Yes, there is fatphobia when it comes to discussing her which is horrible and wrong because she is beautiful.

I personally find Colin and Penelope quite bland compared to Kathony and Simon/Daphne at the moment, which is why I was hoping for Benedict's season first to see some growth, but we move.

She's basically, by a lot of fans, given a LOT of leeway in the same way characters who have done lesser actions. Edwina gets dragged for being upset that her fiance was in love with her sister but Penelope is out here insulting everyone and their mother for coin. The misogynoir against Marina is disgusting. People call the Queen all sorts because she's black. The racism toward the Sharmas. A lot of these fans see being black or brown and slightly flawed as a worse sin.

Also, she is insulting people who actively care about her. I would understand if she was just dragging the Cressidas and even Portia. But Marina was only Penelope's friend, aside from Elosie. She literally wanted to marry Colin because that meant she would get to still see Penelope! She did nothing to tease or outright hurt her. Penelope could have told Colin herself if she was so concerned, but she did it in a way that destroyed Marina's life. That's objectively cruel. I don't care that she cried in a garden about it.

Let's discuss Eloise. Eloise was not a bad freind. She was upset, rightfully because she found out Penelope had been telling the whole of London her family business, to the point of straight-up insult and ruin. Eloise could have been done for treason. Colin was heartbroken. Marina tried to k!ll herself. Her reaction was mild compared to what Penelope had done to her and her family.

Yes, she's flawed and nuanced but I would like her more if people stopped pretending that she did all this to be benevolent or witty. She has hurt the people and that is why I do not like her. The writers are going to have to work double-time!!

Do they want me to stan a racist?? Is that it?? Nah, not here.

And yes, leave actors alone - it screams unemployed and sad.

[stranded-in-salem]

[wattpad link] [last chapter]

warning: arson

Mafia’s POV:

The Mafia sat inside the Mafioso’s house, thinking. The day before was fun, but now it was time for business, & by business I mean deciding on who to kill.

“So what’s the plan tonight?” the Janitor asked, eating some leftover pizza from earlier. “You know..” the Mafioso said, leaning against the wall. “I think we’ve already got this in the bag. We can just sit back & relax while everyone else fights among themselves-” “You just don’t wanna kill anymore because it’s fucked up, huh?” “I-”

The Mafioso sighed, processing the Consort’s comment. “Y’know what? You’re right. I really didn’t wanna bring it up, but this is a little fucked up.” “A lot fucked up, actually.” “Yeah. Also, we’re not even GOOD at killing! We only killed one person, & it made me feel sick.” “So.. what are you suggesting we do?” “I say that we don’t kill anyone tonight! All in favor, say aye.” “Aye!” the Consort & the Janitor said, in unison. “Then it’s decided. Have a nice night, you two. Hope to see you tomorrow!” “Same with you.”

Arsonist’s POV:

The Arsonist stood at the gallows, a pack of matches in hand. Tonight, nothing would get in their way. The four people they had doused would burn to the ground, & their life with them. They approached Charlie’s house, taking a match out of the pack & lighting it. “Farewell, Mayor Charlie.” they grinned, flicking the match upon the house. “You sure tried your best, but it wasn’t enough.”

The house went up in flames. A scream rang out as the Arsonist moved on to the next house, which coincidentally, was the house directly next to Charlie’s. Finn’s house. The Arsonist lit the second match & flicked it toward bros house. “Farewell, Finn. I never wanted to douse you, but I had no control over that.” they said as Finn’s house burst into flames.

Onto the next house. Marina’s house. Once again, they lit the match. “Farewell, Marina. Thanks for not telling anyone my role.” The Arsonist flicked the match across to Marina’s house. It caught on fire. “I won’t miss you, though.”

Now, the final house. Rosie’s house. For the final time, they lit a match. “& Farewell, Rosie.” they grinned, flicking the match onto her house. “We had a nice conversation about the universe. Hope you enjoy it there in the afterlife.”

With the sound of four houses crackling under fire, the Arsonist went back to their home & slept soundly that night.

Ollie’s POV:

Ollie sat in their living room, still staring at the gun Charlie had given them. She really trusted them with this. It did feel nice being trusted, though, with something important. Ollie couldn’t remember the last time that had happened, because they had lost almost all of their memories.

A knock at the door alerted them. “Come in!” they said.

The door opened. The green cloaked figure, G, walked inside. “Hello again, Ollie.”

“Hey! Where’s the other guy?” “C had to take care of some.. business, regarding the boss. She would have come here to talk to you alone, but something came up, & the boss sent me instead.” “Ahh. I see.”

G noticed the gun. “Where’d you get that gun?” they asked. “Oh, the Mayor gave it to me!” “Mayor Boyer?” “Yea, her. What other Mayor would there be?” “Anyways,” G continued, ignoring Ollie’s rhetorical question. “The boss wanted to make you a deal.”

Ollie was intrigued.

“You see, the boss can get you your memories back.” “He can?” “Yes! But there’s a catch. You have to give up your win as a Jester. “Oh.”

“If you’re interested, follow these instructions exactly.” G said, handing Ollie a piece of paper. “Goodnight, Ollie. Hope to see you soon.”

The figure left Ollie’s home as they held up the paper & read it. Could they really get their memories back? Was it absolutely worth losing the game?

Ollie had a lot to consider.

[intermission]