#anyway i found portal too late for my own good

[eeveekitti]

happy birthday to the game of all time

still cant draw humans

[divine-donna]

inquisition companions react to the inquisitor missing half their arm

because bioware didn’t wanna give it to us, i decided i’d just do it myself. (insert thanos meme) even though i am like years late to the hype.

the game is like 9 years old at this point, but spoilers ahead.

do keep in mind this is my own personal interpretation of each character. it may not be accurate to your own interpretations. (also i know leliana is technically not a companion in inquisition but i included her anyways)

cassandra pentaghast

if cassandra could plunge a knife into the heart of solas, she would. she would not let him get away with betraying you and taking the anchor along with your arm. you had basically fallen into her arms when you emerged from the portal and she had to carry you back to halamshiral. for the days you were unconscious, cassandra was anxious and extra prickly. there were many times where cullen would have to talk her down from her anger. even varric did too.

dorian pavus

the first thing he did was crack a joke. the atmosphere was tense and it just slipped out. “i asked you to come back in one piece, not missing one.” safe to say, the other companions did not approve of his joke. dorian was set to return to tevinter after being notified of his new position as a magister, but he delayed the return to his homeland for you. he sat in your room as you lied unconscious, barely breathing, leg anxious bouncing up and down. when you awoke, you were immediately met with a large and tight hug from him. he knocked the air out of your lungs from that.

blackwall

blackwall admires you. in fact, everyone would go so far as to say he adores you. he thinks of you as strong, capable, almost infallible. you closed rifts, you closed the big green tear in the sky, and you defeated corypheus! what couldn’t you do? all your feats proved to him that you were the strongest leader he could ever know. and yet, you were still mortal. you left the eluvians mortally wounded and exhausted beyond belief, your eyelids so heavy and ready to close so you may drift off into the black void of sleep. blackwall would not let you, not until you were taken away to be cared for. you found him sitting besides you, awake and on guard. your mortality was his reminder that you and him were the same, even if your lives appeared to be completely different. and he understood that the world would need a leader like you and that is dangerous.

iron bull

the bull could feel a stronger kinship with you that day. it appears that the both of you lost something. he betrayed the qun for the inquisition, thus losing a part of himself, his people. you lost a literal part of yourself, something you had to come to terms with after having the anchor for two years. to say iron bull was shaken up would be an understatement. he was getting cassandra to hit him with sticks for days on end while you lied unconscious. he wondered what would’ve happened if he was with you, if maybe...he could’ve stopped solas. but reminiscing never did anyone any good.

cole

as much as he wanted to help you, cole couldn’t. he also understood that you wouldn’t accept his help, no matter how much he insisted. so instead, he did the best thing he could do: help tend to your injuries. what was curious was that he could feel very little of your pain. when he felt your pain two years ago after forming the inquisition, it was concentrated in your hand and forearm. with it gone, you felt at peace. the primary source of pain for you had been washed away. perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, he thought.

sera

sera’s immediate reaction is, like dorian, to crack a joke. everyone is used to her eccentricity. but it felt different this time around. while you laid unconscious, recovering from the long battle, she occupied herself. she had to busy her hands and her legs, keep moving, keep her mind busy. because if she sat too still for even a second, then her mind would think about the worst outcome. she would get images of you, dead, because solas had betrayed you, betrayed her, betrayed the inquisition. hell, he betrayed the world! that knob! thinking he knew what was best! sera’s all the more relieved when it’s revealed you survived. she bursts through the door to see you and hug you tightly, complaining about how much you scared her.

varric tethras

in all honesty, varric should’ve been more prepared to expect...well, the unexpected. he had expectations of you coming out unharmed, untouched. obviously, that was not what happened. and he wondered if he was responsible for this. he had been one of the many people to support you as the inquisitor two years ago, suggesting it. he wondered if he made the wrong decision. but also, part of varric was relieved. he lost someone close to him two years ago. he didn’t know if he could handle losing you too.

vivienne de fer

the court would devour tales of the eluvians and how you managed to survive. that was vivienne’s first thought. people would be talking about you for centuries to come, certainly. and yet, she knew in her soul that was not what you would want. she does her best to minimize what rumors spread when you first emerge from the eluvians and help give you privacy. behind closed doors, vivienne checks on your injuries. part of her is amazed that the anchor was removed so cleanly.

josephine montilyet

josephine has seen many things ranging from serious to just plain absurd. when she was alerted that you had returned with many serious injuries, including the loss of half your arm, she sent messages to get the best possible doctors in all of orlais to help attend to you. the woman was definitely stressed beyond belief. but when she wasn’t trying to get everyone from backing off from you or getting people to look at you, josephine was attending to you herself. you awoke to find her wiping some sweat off your face and when she noticed, she muttered about how great andraste was and embraced you tightly.

cullen rutherford

your knight-commander appeared to take the news very well, much to the disapproval of cassandra. but the moment cullen was alone, in private, he flipped a table, causing everything to crash. all he could feel running throughout his body was regret, guilt, and anger. regret and guilt for not having gone with you. he should’ve. because if he did, maybe you would have came back alright. anger directed towards solas because the apostate had betrayed you, the inquisition. and everything you and him had worked towards was going to crumble. all of his hard work, leliana’s, cassandra’s, josephine’s, it’d all be for naught. cullen ends up spending a lot of time alone while you’re unconscious. he prays to andraste and the maker to distract himself from any wandering thoughts going towards lyrium. certainly the new mabari hound he decided to adopt on a whim helps with distractions at least.

leliana

the woman has seen many things in her lifetime, having experienced the fifth blight itself and been part of that fight against the archdemon. still, things aren’t easy when you come back from the eluvians missing half of your arm. even if it goes against all her duties, leliana stays with you until you wake up to make sure you’re alright. you’re the inquisitor after all and it’s vital that you’re still alive.

solas

he’s the one who took it. you think he cares?

in all seriousness, it gave him no pleasure to remove your arm for the anchor. even if his plan was...well, shoddy we should say, the anchor was going to kill you. he had no choice. carrying your hand and forearm around felt heavy. he could carry it just fine but what made it heavy was the burden that came with his plan to tear down the veil and bring doom upon the world in a desperate attempt to bring it back to what it once was. and also, the burden of having harmed you.

[pro-gamer-moves]

My One (1) Completed Whumptober Fic

Tbh this one is more like slapstick it doesn't take itself too seriously.

Time sighed. Once again, they had been separated by a portal. It had been happening so often lately that he was starting to think they should just tie themselves together anytime they appeared. Oh well, nothing he could do about it now.

He took stock of his surroundings. There wasn’t a lot of light, but the walls looked like they were made out of stone bricks from his position on the ground. He stood up and walked over. Yep, definitely some sort of purposeful construction. They had probably all teleported into different rooms of a dungeon.

If that were the case, there would be a door around here somewhere. It was too dark to see the walls though… he rummaged around in his bags for something to light it up, eventually pulling out an arrow and casting a light spell on it.

Time hummed happily. The illumination had revealed a chest on the floor! This was the fun part of being a hero. He slowly lifted the lid in anticipation, and pulled out a small silver key, lifting it over his head in triumph. Now to find the door…

Tapping the walls with his sword revealed that one of them would crumble in an explosion, so he pulled out a bomb and set it on the floor in front of the false wall. Behind it was a similar, if larger room that had glyphs carved into the stone at random-seeming intervals. It was also full to the brim of Stalchildren. 

Not wanting to fight so many monsters, he put on his Captain’s Hat and got work examining the room. After checking the walls with his sword and the Lens of Truth, he concluded that the key to the next room must be connected to the glyphs. Or something. Nayru, this was so much easier when he had a fairy. 

He sat down in front of one of them and pulled out the Ocarina of Time. He didn’t see any meaning in the carvings, so he decided he was just going to have to go through his repertoire song by song. 

Time sighed again. Maybe one of the others would find him first.

~~~

He was halfway through the Song of Healing when the wall in front of him blurred and distorted. Looks like he had found the right song, then. He kept playing, having learned long ago not to interrupt a song while it was doing its work. 

The wall continued to warp in time with his song, then a face appeared. Time looked up in surprise. Was that Twilight? Now he knew he definitely couldn’t stop playing, else the rancher got caught in the wall as it solidified.

Twilight stepped into the light of his arrow, saw Time sitting on the floor with his ocarina, and promptly fainted.

That wasn’t good. Seeing that Twilight was on the floor instead of in the wall, Time hooked the Ocarina back on his belt and rushed over, ordering the Stalchildren to stay back as he did so. Twilight looked fine at first glance, no blood anywhere as far as Time could tell…

Twilight’s eyes opened, focused on Time’s face, and opened even wider in fear. His mouth twisted like he was trying to suppress a cry, and his shoulders hunched under his wolf pelt. What had gotten him so worked up? Was there something wrong with his face?

Time poked his face to make sure it was the one he usually had and almost slapped his forehead at his own stupidity. He was still wearing the Captain’s hat! Of course Twilight would be scared, he looked like a Stalfos right now!

Time quickly lifted the mask to show the rancher his face. “Don’t freak out, it’s just me! I’m wearing a mask to keep the Stalchi—“ he heard bones rattling behind him and put the mask back on. “To distract the Stalchildren. It’s just an illusion, I’m still Link.”

Twilight relaxed. “Old man?”

“The one and only.”

He stood and held out his hand to help Twilight up. “How’d you get in here, anyway? You shouldn’t have been able to get through the wall before I finished my song.”

Twilight held up his wrist, revealing a bejeweled bracelet. “Magic bracelet, found it in a chest. It lets me walk through walls if they have special carvings on them.”

“Ah.”

“You have a song that lets you go through walls?”

“I thought I did, but I guess it was just your bracelet. How are we going to both get out of here?”

Twilight picked up the light arrow and used it to search the room. “We can both go if we’re touching, but I need to find a small key first.”

Time held up the key he had found. “Already got it.”

“Great. Let’s get back to the others then, we still have to find quite a few more Links.”

[ruelin024]

I wanna have opinions so uh, what do you think of my SacredFell AU? (So far anyway haha)

Hello, my mutual compadre, @littleyukki5033 , I have traveled down to the depths of your blog and will now commence judgment.

Kehehehe. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[Gonna be long, I like/wanted to try making my responses worthwhile and attentive, to show you I went in on your AU and posts.]

(And you can laugh at me or with me on this, but I may not be the best at giving opinions, 😖 I think. Just know I'm typing this with my miniscule overthinkin’ brain and hurt wrist.)

START!

Feb 4: Don’t be afraid to post your AU and talk about it, beautiful or not, unique or not, complicated or not, similar or not, cringe or not, demented or not, eh or not. 

Share your mind, you’ll find people who share it with you. And if you get hate, show them San’s ass or something. It tells others how nonexistent they are to you. (though I’ve seen someone draw Sans very beautifully thicc, we will keep in mind he is bones, which we indeed simp for). 

Observe Exhibit A:

(I found this silly image saved on my desktop, so I thought it'd be cool to share it with you.)

So never let a negative comment change your love and view of your au and undertale. 

Undertale is amazing, it’s good to ramble, even if others don’t talk about it, even if you’ll never get reciprocated. There’s other people there reading it, like me sometimes I read and forget to heart, or I don’t heart a post because I don’t wanna bombard their notifications and all that. 

Yes, post your art, even if you’ve got no idea what to post, doodle, ask for ideas, or even take a break. I think it’s beautiful to share your mind’s eye. Show no fear, you’ve got this!

Everyone starts where you were once. 

Feb 12: Your Introduction of your own Underfell AU called SacredFell

I am interested. I am in fact one of many who are and will be interested for days to come, for as long as you build and love your AU, as it becomes whatever completion you dreamt of it to be, so on and so forth, even if one day you stop.

I’m finna be there bruh, late or on time.  

And imma let you know that right now as you reading this. You actually asked me first about your AU and lemme tell you, you beat me to it. I actually have fanart for you. AND was gonna find a time to ask you first.

(~(>_<。)＼ Usually I'm ready to send art cause I plan before hand, but someone used a wrist twist move on me for fun recently. ಥ_ಥ)

Anyway, moving forward.

Frisk and Chara of SacredFell: I enjoy teh designs. And me personally, I like Frisks design, the fact Frisk went through multiple design phases is nice to know. Would you ever show Frisk's previous designs?

Oof, you changed SacredFell Sans height from 5’2 to 6ft, damn what a stretch. And he part of the Royal Guard, whoa! 😆hotsome big skeleman.

Also, I love the art style of @/melikitinas, too. 💖

Feb 14: … ScaredFell Papyrus…. I-... 11ft height, yeah, we gonna need a height chart. I short, so they a fucking tree at this point, imagine Paps just bending at the waist towards a shorty like me, he’s gotta be prone on the ground or something. AND his fine ass a 2nd in Command Royal Guard, too. ○( ＾皿＾)っ AWWHEHESJDHWU ✨

Feb 21: LORE Ah, so the beginning is different, interesting. *reads through it with glasses* (I was recently working on my other OCs at the time as well :D.) 

Yukki sounds like a good character! And portaled? Oooooh, portaled, I wanna know backstory! 

Did Yukki not go through the ruins? She just collapsed in Snowdin? Was she unconscious the entire time she was taken to Asgore, up until Toriel saved her?

And usually humans, are strong, is Yukki weak due to something? (you don’t have to reveal too much lore unless you wanna) How much power does Yukki have? Why does it drain so quickly? 

Also, love Toriel, to save one instead of all, what a mother. Even if Yukki wasn’t her own, that was such a big sacrifice for the price of saving one child over freedom. I would love to see how you draw that part out.

And Toriel left Yukki behind the waterfalls, why not take Yukki with her? 

Why out of all the souls, Kindness was taken, would this serve as a significant plot point in the AU?

Would Yukki grow to harbor bad intent or negative emotions towards the monster or would she end up sacrificing herself after understanding the monster’s want for freedom, would she find another way, would she resort to genocide at some point(despite her being weak)? 

Would Toriel come in clutch next time Yukki is in grave danger? 

And what plans would Asgore have after he gets Toriel, I would’ve expected that he wanted Toriel dead, not with a bounty on her head to be returned ALIVE to his home. I'm probably just thinking to the extremes. 😂

I like this plot. I’d love to know how Frisk and Yukki will come together. And if within the one or two years, Yukki stayed with Sans and Papyrus, would the brothers falter when they need to get their jobs done for Asgore when the time comes? Would Sans and Papyrus eventually come to value Yukki as their own friend? Does Yukki know Sans and Papyrus are working to gain her trust to betray her in the end? 

Also is Toriel and Sans doing the knock knock joke through the gate in this AU too? What’s Toriel’s relationship with the characters so far? Within the time Yukki was living in the Underground, does she come to meet Toriel again?

Feb 23: YUKKI I agree Yukki is a main focal point in the beginning of this AU, I really like this. I can’t wait to see how you build this lore up. Would Toriel act again when Frisk comes? Would Toriel talk to Frisk about Yukki? How old is Yukki again? To me, Yukki looks like she has a strong presence, tongue sticking out, seems playful. ✨

Feb 27: Comic Heh. Middle school art is always nostalgic to look back on. I wish I still had some of mine. I threw most out due to the fact, I didn’t want physical evidence of my cringe art tying back to me, but looking back on it now. I was stupid and paranoid. 

Now cringe art is one of my favorite art pieces to discover, it brings a certain emotion outta you, am I right? Yeaahh.  

Anyway, I admire you for sharing your old art and comic. 

An AU, especially when a creator is lovingly dedicated to it, can become hectic and mentally crowded and out of order, or as you say “all over the place.” Good luck on that journey, creating comlex stories is hard! I was overwhelmed by my own ideas and burned out at some point and stopped entirely. You make me wanna go back to my little world.

And Yukki and SacredFell Sans look like they get along noicely. yukki hand on her hip, confidence and power ✨👌 makin' Sansy sweat.

Mar 7: Yay Toriel Character Sheet Me like tall woman. She taller than Sans, haha. I gotta learn how to draw a goat at some point. And she looks good in my opinion. Do SOUL Protectors gain power from the souls? Wouldn't they accidentally at some point absorb the soul? Has any of the protectors even thought of doing that? Doesn't the barrier need one monster soul and one human soul to break the barrier, or is that different in this AU?

Mar 11: Another comic redraw, SacredFell Asgore WIP

Aw SacredFell Sans and Yukki smiling together, your old drawing of them is cute. ANd that’s a jump, good to know they're out of the underground. Hope you eventually find the right design for Yukki, that you’re gonna be satisfied with. I’m excited to find out how they got out of the underground, too.

What's the key on Sans? And the heart necklace on Yukki?

And yes, I think Tumblr does something with the quality of an image when posted, because compared to my computer view, my phone view of some posts are different a bit.

Yass, show off the Goat man. 

ANd I also saw your Avatar DTIYS, looks awesome! I love the coloring, shading, and perspective! 

Mar 15: Update Eh, it didn’t take a while for me to gather info on your AU, it was spread out a little yes, but not so much, for me the pacing was alright. 

Ah and the ask blogs, yeah I dunno how I’m doing this tbh. 

And a webtoon would be great! But I hear it’s a lot of work to put into it, take small steps, so you won’t stress or burn yourself out. But I would definitely read teh webtoon if you were to make one. 

Mar 16: SacredFell Undyne WIP I love Undyne, I just dunno how to draw her yet. Love the art! She pretty. 

Mar 16: SacredFell Flowey Flowey in a bag, hahahahaha. I like how annoyed he looks in the drawing.  

Mar 17: SacredFell Monster Kid Another main character, you developing a lot of lore right now I bet. I wonder how MK will play out in your AU. 

Mar 18,22 : It’s UNDYNE >.< Fangirling. Another Tall strong woman. And missing parents during gaster’s disappearance, is this what I think it is, a lore hint?!?!   

Mar 23: Alphys Alphys is gonna be somewhat of a sly character in the plot huh, wow! And she fights, you gotta make art of that at some point! Alphys having bravery is interesting! 

Pfft, you spelled “Bavery” I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it. 

Mar 23: Gaster I love how you drew Sans and Papyrus in at Gaster’s “You’re in Trouble” expression.

And me like the tinted glasses as well.

Mar 24: Mettaton! He a Bravery SOUL Decoy! Was that Alphy’s idea to make him like that? Is he famous in the underground as well? He’s a looker. And he got four arms! Yuuusss! 

Mar 26?: Muffet Indeed a 5’7 lady spider is a cutie patootie, the arms are good, multiple is betta. Good design!  And she is also part of the Royal Guard, what will the fight be like? I’m curious! 

Mar 26?: That Sacredfell Mini Comic/Story was nicely put together! The end where SacredFell Sans responds with, “I don’t know.” I enjoyed reading this conversation! And Undyne in her royal armor MWUAH!  

So from all this, hopefully I did something good for you, most are just questions and comments, but I hope it served as an answer. *ahem*

A new character was added. [Yukki] = Will lead to more plot. *Check*

There’s a different backstory before the arrival of Frisk. *Check*

Toriel makes an act against Asgore before leaving, Asgore ordering Sans and papyrus to gain Yukki’s trust until the “time” comes = Complicated relationships *Check* 

I can fangirl, which means I can simp, which means, I’m invested. ✨ *CHECK CHECK CHECK*

The concept is really good! (The fact Asgore would entrust the souls to another and make them SOUL Protectors, and you still fight Alphys even in the pacifist route, and I sense "things" though not sure what, but it makes me look forward to your lore.) *ChecK* 

It’s a Fell type Universe. (I love Underfell) *CHECK* 

The art is noice!!!! *CHecK* 

I find interest in how characters will interact or encounter each other. *Check* 

I can see the work put into this AU! I see their dedication based from the dates you posted things about your AU. I really look forward to seeing how you continue to develop and make art for your SacredFell AU! With what you’ve shown at this time, I can happily tell you, for me this AU is interesting, there’s potential in many areas, character development, choice of dialogue, different relationship dynamics, personality, world building, plot changes, etc.

I wish I had more to say, I think most of my response here sounded... I think repetitive, maybe some questions were even answered already and I didn't catch it? Though hopefully I conveyed to you that I think you're doing well for what've you've shown thus far!

That's my grand opinion. 😁✨

Also, I found you through graphictale au. 💕💖👌✨

😙 Both ya'll wonderful.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for failing my duty?

(OOC -- This is an OC/self-insert for a video game, I'm curious to see if anyone will figure out which game)

I (early-mid 20s, F) am the personal bodyguard to a princess (late 20s, F), and have lived with her and served her since we were children. I have always been praised for taking on the role and for being able to fill it as well as I have, but after this recent incident, I…have rather found myself doubting the validity of this praise.

It all started with this blasted fucking time machine, you see, made by this scientist guy (???, M). You probably heard about it on the morning news, and how the princess decided to take a trip to the past in it. I went with her, of course, as is my duty, but for all the good I did, I may as well not have been there at all.

…we landed right in the middle of an invasion, not that we knew it was that at first of course, but it quickly became apparent when we were approached by these…strange, purple aliens. I did my best to fend them off, and my princess was able to capture one of them within the crystal that powers the time machine, but…

…I have failed her.

…they bested me, I was able to take down a few of them, but one of them shot me in the stomach with some sort of laser and I collapsed. And because the power crystal had been shattered to prevent the escape of the captured alien, there was no way for my princess, or either of our two other companions, to flee.

…initially, I was kept alongside my princess while the other two were taken elsewhere, but as soon as I had recovered enough from the laser, naturally I attempted to stage a breakout -- even if we could not get back to our own time, at the very least we could surely find somewhere those aliens would not get to us again. But…I was caught, and shot in the stomach again, the exact same place, and this time I lost consciousness entirely.

…I will not detail what has happened to me since then, partially because even I do not know the full extent. Just that I awoke in some sort of…facility…deep in the forest, having undergone…rather immense change.

As before, as soon as I was able to so much as move on my own, I staged a breakout, and this time, I was successful -- I managed to make it to the entrance before collapsing, and actually ran into the men who trained me as a child (late 20s? I think?, M) with two children. I suppose they took pity on me, as they fed me something to restore my strength enough for me to continue my escape.

I was able to find a way back to the present day, there in the forest. Some sort of strange portal in the ground, that pulled me from the forest in the past to one of the castle bedrooms in the present. I dare not linger here too long, though, as surely if I am found here there will be many questions, and surely I will face great trouble for my failure to protect the princess.

I plan to, ahem, "borrow" a few things to help me keep my strength up and hopefully heal some of the damage that has been done to me, and then return to the factory to aid those men and try to find my princess, preferably in some sort of disguise so I am not recognized. Then again, I doubt they recognized me anyways, given how scarred and bloodied my face already is.

I think it's blood, anyways. It's purple though, just like them…

…and I don't remember injuring any of them enough for them to bleed during my escape…

…anyways, I don't expect to see any of the answers to this, frankly, as like I said I don't know the full extent of what's been done to me, and I might drop dead at any moment for all I know, but I just…have to get this out there, I suppose, it's already weighing on me too much as it is. If I am an asshole for being unable to protect her, so be it. I already know what I think of myself, and of what the others will surely think when they realize.

[tonberry-yoda]

Late Night Pizza Stop - Xigbar

notes - pov: you're tonberry and you have over 30 requests in your inbox, but in your soul you wanted to write for xigbar, so you did LMFAO. well, I know there aren't a ton of kh fans on here, but for my xigbar simps, this one is for you <3 I have been simping over this man, so please enjoy my mini fic <3

word count - 472

You woke up to the sound of you window opening. Of course.

You rubbed your eyes and checked the time. It was 2 in the morning. God, of course he thought it would be a good idea to crawl into your room like the little rat he is right when you were finally getting some good sleep.

"Xigbar," you said with an unamused expression, watching the tall, lanky man try to squeeze his way through the open window. "What the hell are you doing?"

He shot you a crooked smile before falling face first onto your floor with a muffled "ow."

You crossed your arms and Xigbar stood up slowly, trying to play him falling off as nothing leaning on your desk chair that he didn't realize had wheels until he was flat on his face again.

"Xigbar, you're a dumbass."

"You're a dumbass." He said, getting up and rubbing his downward nose that he could've swore was broken.

"Well I'm not the one crawling through people's window's while they're sleeping, am I?"

Xigbar just chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I just found this really cool pizza shop in this world I was travelling to and I wanted to take you there."

You stared at Xigbar blankly. "So you're telling me.... you woke me up at two in the morning... for pizza?"

"Yes?"

You sighed, but couldn't help the smile that was creeping onto your lips. "Fine. Let me throw a jacket on and we can go get this dumb pizza."

"Look, if you don't wanna go, that's fine. I didn't mean to wake you, I thought you would be up." Xigbar followed you like a sad puppy.

"Look, Xig, pizza actually sounds godly and I honestly don't think I can go back to sleep." You pulled on your jacket and turned to Xigbar, who was pouting. "I'm fine," you giggled, pulling Xigbar into your arms. For being a whole bunch of nothing, he sure was warm. "Plus, I know you don't actually feel bad, Xig. You don't feel anything."

"Shut up." He said, pulling away from the hug and pressing a small kiss onto your lips. "You make me feel something."

"Ha, ha, very funny." You stepped into a pair of slippers and Xigbar opened a portal for the two of you to step through which ended you both up in front of the pizza shop. Even outside it smelled godly.

"I mean it, goober." He told you before pressing one more kiss onto your temple and leading you into the back of the pizza shop holding the small of your back.

To be honest, you were glad that Xigbar showed up. You couldn't sleep anyway. And he knew that too. For a guy who couldn't feel a thing, he sure knew how to make you smile.

~~~~~

kingdom hearts masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[bubblegumbeech]

Preparing for Harvest

Read it here on AO3

Flynn makes it home. And then thinks about what that might mean.

Part of my Exploring the Zone series

---

 Flynn let himself be led through the portal by the wrist. It was honestly too late to try and stop everything from happening anyways. Mother would find him and punish him whether he rushed back to her side or hid out here in the Realms’ boondocks.

 So he might as well take up Danny’s offer. At the very least it would be interesting to see a mortal realm after so long.

 On the other side of the portal was a lab, sterile bright lights and all sorts of mechanical devices. It … wasn’t very clean though, and Flynn found himself inching away from some of the ectoplasm covered walls.

 It was weird, breathing in air again. It felt lighter in his chest, a slight burning ache as his lungs worked to filter out the ambient ectoplasm they had gotten used to using in its stead.

 He hadn’t even gotten the chance to steady himself before a door above them slammed open and a woman in a terrifying jumpsuit ran down to point a large weapon at them.

 Flynn reacted instinctively, shoving Danny behind him and grabbing his staff to hold in front. It was difficult, but he’d gotten good at redirecting ectoblasts and the like with it.

 Except… he recognized this human. The purple eyes and vibrant red hair that was so similar to his own…

 “Aunt Maddie?” Flynn said, his voice cracking. It couldn’t be— no. It was      impossible. There was no way this random kid took him back to the same mortal realm he’d been taken from. Especially not to the basement of his      Aunt.  

 Aunt Maddie looked at him in confusion for a moment, her arm lowering. “It couldn’t be...”

 Flynn bit his lip, holding back questions as they bubbled incessantly to the forefront of his mind.

 She stepped closer, dropping the weapon entirely to raise her hands to his cheeks. “Flynn? You… you’re alive?”

 Flynn nodded, tears finally breaking through as Aunt Maddie pulled him into a spine-crushing hug.

 “Jack!” she half shouted, half sobbed. “Jack, come down here right now!”

 Uncle Jack… he was here too. Then, was it possible? He buried his face deeper into Aunt Maddie’s shoulder. It was strange, having to lean down to reach her. The last he remembered she had towered so far above him.

 When Flynn had finally managed to pull himself away he saw Danny frozen beside him, his eyes wide in confusion. Okay, so he hadn’t known either.

 Aunt Maddie sniffed, her violet eyes rimmed in red. “Just a moment dear,” she said, picking up her weapon. “Let me get rid of this scum real quick.”

 “What-?”

 Before he could react she was attacking Danny, who looked completely not surprised and just faded through the ceiling, scorching ectoblasts following after him.

 There was a loud crash and Uncle Jack, this time just as large as Flynn always remembered him, rushed down the stairs.

 “I’m here dear, where’s the ectoplasmic scum—“

 He froze, his weapon falling loudly to the ground. “Flynn? Kiddo? What are you doing here?”

 “I uh …” Flynn honestly didn’t know how to answer that.

 “He’s not a ghost Jack! I already scanned him!”

 Uncle Jack’s eyes went wide. Mouthing the words not a ghost. Then his eyes caught on Flynn’s ragged clothing.

 “We gotta get you help kiddo!” he said suddenly, walking forward mechanically and picking up Flynn like he weighed nothing at all. The touch startled him, not used to casual contact when he was decked out in his blood blossom flowers.

 Uncle Jack pretty much just carried him upstairs to a bathroom, where he set him down carefully in a bathtub. It was clear he was panicking, acting in some kind of paternal instinct at seeing his missing nephew after…. After a decade at least. It had to be.

 “I’ll uh,” he backed away, bumping into Aunt Maddie on his way out of a room never meant to accommodate his size, “I’ll get you some clothes. Danny never really hit his growth spurt but Jazz is around your size—“

 He fled.

 Flynn got out of the tub, awkwardly, to close the door and turned on the shower. It was strange, how mundane it was and yet how different from what had become Flynn’s life.

 Not cleaning himself in melted ice from the melted-glaciers, but in a shower that just—had water. An unending supply of it. Flynn tilted his head back and drank gulps of it. Quenching what felt like a permanently parched throat.

 Eventually he managed to clean himself off, and grabbed a ridiculously fluffy towel to dry off so he could put on the decidedly feminine clothes that had been left piled messily by the sink for him.

 They fit close enough and Flynn wandered out to see Danny in his human form waiting just outside. His eyes went wide.

 “Danny why—“

 “Relax,” Danny said rolling his eyes, “they don’t know I’m Phantom.”

 Flynn frowned. “They’re your parents?”

 “Yup,” he said, popping the p.

 “… So we’re… cousins.”

 “Yeah, well… we already kinda knew that—“

 “I meant on the human side.”

 Danny grimaced. “I guess?” He rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Honestly I didn’t even know I had a cousin? Much less one that went missing over a decade ago. They don’t talk about you. Never have.”

 That was a bit painful in its own way, knowing he didn’t even leave a legacy behind, amongst his human family. Was he not important enough? Or did their grief hold their tongues?

 Flynn thought back to some of his other siblings—his ghostly siblings. (He didn’t actually know if he had human siblings now. Did he want that? He really didn’t know.)

 When Fido faded… it had hurt, he had been grief stricken and heartbroken and— he never stopped talking about him. Telling his story and keeping his memory alive. Even Mother didn’t just ignore that he had existed. He had failed, but he hadn’t been forgotten.

 It left a bitter taste in his tongue.

 Then again, perhaps the dead were simply better at grieving.

 “Do you know…” Flynn felt his words dry on his tongue and fought to finish his question, “where my-my parents are?”

 “They got divorced.” A new, unfamiliar voice answered. A young woman stepped around the corner. She smiled softly and held out a hand. “Sorry, thought you should know. I’ve been looking into certain things since you and Danny got back— I’m Jazz by the way.”

 “Flynn,” he took her hand. It was smooth, then again everyone’s hands were smooth compared to his. “I remember you as quite a bit younger honestly.”

 “I’m sure,” she smiled again, this time more honestly and let go of his hand. “Honestly the parents don’t know what to do, they’re both having two completely separate meltdowns. So if you want to see Aunt Alicia you’ll have to hitch a ride with me and Danny.”

 “Oh?” Flynn asked, ignoring the loud pounding of his heart screaming that he was going home he might finally be going home.  

 “She has a farm down in Spittoon, Arkansas. It’s a few hours away but we can make it before dinner if we head out now.” Then her eyes moved over him, assessing. “Unless you want to get changed?”

 “I’d rather head out now actually,” he said, biting his inner cheek as his heart grew louder.

 Jazz sighed. “I thought so.”

 Danny snickered and grabbed him by the wrist, headed to the basement. “We’re stealing the spectre speeder, it flies so we’ll get there in no time.”

 “You won’t get in trouble?” Flynn asked, raising an eyebrow.

 “Ha, good one.” Jazz opened the basement door and led them down. “That would require our parents having a sense of responsibility.”

 Flynn felt off center at that comment. Something wasn’t right here, behind the scenes. He looked at the exhausted expression both of his cousins had and how different it was from the curious energetic brat Flynn had gotten to know Danny as.

 It was easy enough getting buckled into the speeder, and honestly the flight itself wasn’t particularly long either.

 Watching the scenery was something special though, the way it weaved so seamlessly together—instead of the different hod-podged together pieces of the Infinite Realms that always felt like the wrong parts of a poorly put together puzzle.

 The farm they landed in front of was unfamiliar to Flynn, and he found himself mourning once more for a childhood home he already knew he would never see again but now knew no longer existed.

 “Stay here,” Jazz said, laying a comforting hand on Flynn’s shoulder before approaching the front door.

 He did so. Frozen by fear, by indecision. He’d spent so long trying to forget his past, trying to cling to it… building up his memories of his parents as a perfect family to compare them to Mother.

 Flynn could almost feel her watching, judging. Waiting for the other shoe to drop and to welcome him back into her open arms after he broke apart once again.

 Maybe it was another trap? This one, specific to him alone. A lesson to learn—      I am your Mother. This is your family.  

 The door opened loudly and a deep voice rang out. “Now how in tarnations did you two get all the way out here?”

 It hurt all of a sudden. A sharp stabbing pain in Flynn’s chest and if he were truly a ghost he might have thought his Obsession was going haywire or that his form was destabilizing.

 He must have zoned out or something because he didn’t notice when hard, calloused hands cupped around his cheeks—a mimicry of her sister’s own actions.

 “Flynn? Sweetheart?” His mom said in a soft voice, still steady, still confident, still as strong as he remembered.

 “Ma?” he just barely managed to choke the word out when she pulled him into a bone crushing hug that made him feel so wonderfully secure he never wanted to leave these arms again.

 But…

 He pulled himself away. “I’m sorry for disappearing like that, Ma. I got… really     really lost.”

 She punched him in the shoulder, hard. It looked like it might have hurt her but she didn’t flinch, just kept smiling despite the tears clearly running down her face.

 “You went and grew up without me… gotcha grandpa’s height too, and…” her thumb brushed away some of the tears collecting in his lashes, “you’re such a fine man now.”

 He looked away, his gaze lingering on the farm itself. “I have a home,” he finally said, “built it with my own two hands. It’s got a garden, and a pretty cool, uh… fence?”

 “Well,” she pulled him down into another tight hug, “you just make sure you keep coming to visit okay?”

 And that was when he broke, desperate and weeping, sobbing into his mom’s shoulder like the child he truly felt he was.

 It was dark by the time he ran out of tears and his mom led him and his cousins in for dinner. She made it herself, along with a rhubarb pie that wasn’t quite sweetened enough.

 He knew Danny was sneaking glances over towards him the entire time, fighting back a confused expression. Flynn sighed, and ignored it.

 After dinner his mom sent all three of them to bed. Jazz and Danny shared the guest room. Flynn… had his own.

 It might as well have been a guest room, except it had all of his old things. At least the things that wouldn’t have rotted with time, or that he would have outgrown.

 His mom had kept a room ready for him, as if he’d just moved out rather than disappeared. It was something about that, the level of trust, of implied freedom, of being a place he could come to when all of it was too much, that made everything feel like a dream— a bubble about to pop. It was too good, too kind. He didn’t know how to feel about it at all.

 There was a magic in her easy acceptance of him back in her life, without the chains he’d almost expected to tie him back down.

 Honestly, he was so scared to stop moving, he didn’t think he’d ever truly be able to. And his own little farm, so similar to this one, he made that, crafted it from the ground up. He’d be loath to let it rot without him. The Blood Blossoms were so hard to cultivate and it wasn’t like he could get Dokkaebi to help. Or any of his other ghostly siblings.

 Siblings he didn’t have to weigh against his mom, didn’t have to choose between the life he’d had and the life he’d made.

 He went to sleep on a bed just a bit too soft, with dreams just a bit too dark. But it was the best night of sleep he’d had in a long time nonetheless.

 The next morning he helped his mom out on the farm. He was used to the labor and she was appreciative. Jazz and Danny were still asleep.

 Flynn wasn’t really surprised, Danny looked like he needed it especially. And it was nice to just be alone with his mom.

 They didn’t talk much, caught each other up on the big events in life. His mom mentioned the divorce, Flynn mentioned being taken in by a sort of ‘foster’ system and all his new siblings. She mentioned starting the farm, he mentioned making his house.

 She asked when he was going to leave, he said he’d like to stay for a few days more. She nodded, and mentioned getting him some real clothes before he heads back out. He had gone from wearing a spare outfit of Jazz’s to a spare outfit of his mom’s. A bit shorter, but it fit better around the shoulders. A bit loose around the waist and chest though.

 They were making a late breakfast when his cousins came downstairs. Both of them whispered quickly back and forth in some kind of argument.

 Luckily, they stopped when they noticed Flynn could hear and he didn’t have to try and break them apart or anything.

 “Aunt Alicia!” Jazz said, stepping forward, “I can help in the kitchen, Danny has something he wants to talk to Flynn about.”

 Danny nodded and grabbed Flynn by the arm, not bothering to hide his strength as he dragged him outside and into the fields.

 “Danny, what—?”

 He stopped and turned around, a betrayed expression on his face. “You’re going back.”

 It wasn’t a question.

 Flynn sighed and answered as if it was, “It’s my home.”

 “Your home is here! This is your family! Why would you go back to—“

 “Danny,” Flynn cut him off, voice sharp. “You don’t get to choose my life. No one gets to choose my life but me. Not even well-meaning family.”

 “But…”

 “I’m sorry, but I’m my own person. I have a life, and I don’t hate it. I’m really,      truly    grateful that you brought my Ma back into this life, but she and I don’t need to change who we are for a happy ending.”

 He ruffled the kid’s hair until his expression morphed from confused guilt to something that better suited a fourteen year old.

 “You already gave us that.”

[enigma-absolute]

What is Eddsworld about?

3 British idiots (and occasionally an additional Norwegian one) have silly misadventures in a long-running animated webshow. There’s been zombies and clones to fight, movies to make and even a trip down to hell AND Atlantis. It’s a bit of a wacky show.

To make a short story long, Eddsworld was made initially in 2003 by Edd Gould, and featured him and his friends as the main characters. Over the years after Gould passing from leukaemia in 2012, the show, show crew and fandom has seen some rocky times (I could make a tome of lore about all this but NO THANKS), but is still a fond spot in many people’s hearts - including mine. Without coming across it in late February 2013, I genuinely wouldn’t have a foundation for my current art style and the push to pursue my passions in animation.

That and if you come into Eddsworld fandom (not recommended if you go into the main body, just find a few folks and stick with them), be expected to draw a LOT of hoodies and develop an annoying (affectionate) habit of making puns.

So who are the three British idiots anyway? Keep in mind: while they were initially based off IRL Edd and his friends, they’re not the same as them and are seperate things. It’s seen as VERY disrespectful to keep using IRL surnames for the characters, so we often substitute our own made-up or similar-sounding ones.

Edd: Head of the trio, brown hair, green hoodie. Looks like the most normal. Is not, really. The artistic one and pun-maker. Loves cola to a fault, to a point where in canon, his future self went back in time to kill his past self because cola got banned globally. (And it’s the highest ranked Eddsworld episode and the one with the most views.)

Edd is my personal favourite character and I will fight on the hill for him to have a good Edd-centric story that isn’t about shipping him with the other lads or as an angst punching bag. He doesn’t even get enough fanart as the title character of his own show! Let my boy have PEACE AND A FUN TIME FOR ONCE.

Tom: Blue hoodie, spiky hair, weird eyes. The grumpy ‘voice of reason’, but he is also not immune to the Shenanigans. Often the alcoholic, but less so in canon. Has a beloved monster form since it was seen in the eddisode PowerEdd. If you’re asking why his eyes are Like That, we don’t have a concrete answer either. Are they voids? Portals to other things? Just black? Who knows? (The void though is my favourite bc it’s funny.)

Tom is one of the more popular characters of the fandom, and I can see why! However, as an Edd girlie myself, I will admit that it has been a bit TOO much to see over the years. Him and the Norwegian character, but that’s another story.

Matt: Ginger, purple hoodie and green overcoat. Highly narcissistic, with (and I quote the theme song here) ‘the intelligence of a kitchen shelf.’ Can often be found admiring himself in mirrors. Surprisingly has the highest body count of all his friends from over the episodes. Was at one point, a vampire from a Halloween special - that has still carried through into many fanon designs of him. And he was also leader of a zombie army too.

I remember a time when Matt wasn’t so popular as Tom and the Norwegian one, but now he’s just very shipped with the rest of his mates and given plenty of fanart as he likes. And good for him! Now at this point you'd expect me to talk about the Norwegian.

And you know what? No.

I respect him, I can enjoy him as a character and part of the unit with the boys, I can enjoy some takes on the concepts his latter days brought to the table, but overall? I would like to see him Goncharov'd OUT of relevancy.

That character has done too much damage on the fandom, tbh. The days in the fandom where he was basically nonexistent were peaceful. The final episodes of the Eddsworld Legacy season were a flashpoint (derogatory) and while it did unearth old (metaphorical) cursed relics from under the surface, I'm becoming more convinced by the year that he and his last two episodes have done MORE harm than good - stretching even into now!

I'd rather be careful to talk about him. And we don't make any mention of the person he was inspired by, just for the sake of the IRL man to be LEFT ALONE. As should most of the others and their families who played these characters.

Speaking of these kinds of things: A warning.

As for the more recent episodes in the Eddsworld Beyond season: tread with caution. From the first proper episode, people from the crew have been kicked off for genuinely serious reasons that are too dark to explain here and discourse has been rife about the current showrunners.

If you decide to take a look at what had happened - take everything with a grain of salt and come to your own conclusions. The bias can be easy to fall into one group or another so I strongly don't recommend to go looking for it. If you're here for a fun time, do NOT go near the discourse. Especially on tumblr.

So, rant aside, I'll stop myself here. If you want some recommendations on where to begin on Eddisodes:

The Zombeh Attack Trilogy (yes it's spelled like this on purpose): The lads encounter zombies. Not all of them will survive.

Ruined: The lads investigate an egyptian temple.

Spares: The lads get cloned by an evil director. Who is also an idiot.

Hello Hellhole: The boys go to hell. For a vacation.

Moving Targets: The boys join the army.

The Zanta Claws Trilogy: The lads encounter and fight against a Zombie Santa Claus. Shenanigans ensue.

Matt Sucks: Halloween special in which Matt is bitten by a vampire.

Moviemakers: The lads make a movie.

WTFuture: Edd and his friends are chased after his murderous future self. Fan favourite, and if you only watch ONE Eddisode, I HIGHLY recommend this!

Hammer and Fail (Parts One AND Two): The lads try to renovate due to Matt's kleptomaniac tendencies. (Also the introduction to fan-favourite side characters.)

Space Face (Parts One AND Two): The last of Edd Gould's work and animation before his passing and the start of the Legacy season. The lads get abducted by aliens.

Hide and Seek (minisode): Matt tries to play the titular game.

Fun Dead: The lads go to a zombie-infested theme park.

Mirror Mirror (minisode): We meet the genderbend version of the lads and spend the time with the girls, Ell, Tamara and Matilda! (I've also lost count how many times I've cosplayed as Ell. Best girl, you can't change my mind.)

PowerEdd: Edd gets superpowers and has a rivalry with his neighbour.

Saloonatics: The radically different art style and some of the story was quite divisive among fans upon release, but has now become a beloved cult classic. A spiritual sequel to WTFuture, we go back in time and encounter 'ancestor' characters of the lads in the wild west.

Surf and Turf (Part One): (Shh part two is currently in production) The lads go to the beach. What could go wrong?

Should be all I can wholeheartedly recommend to a first-time viewer. If you decide to take the plunge, good luck!

[shinigxmi-muses]

Verse: Marvel’s Crossover

    Been wanting to go into detail on a crossover I’ve been doing on Discord, since I’d like to make occasional references to it! A literal years-long writing project between me and my boyfriend...

   ...I still can’t come up with a better name than the above. Anyways-!

Muses involved:

Harley Quinn

    The first one to arrive in the Marvel Universe. She was “lucky” enough to be found by a local web crawler- Spider-Man- and bummed at his place for a time.

    ...That is, before she realized he was a hot mess and needed her support, more than the other way around.

    All it took was some work between Dr. Strange and Stark, a lot of pleading on Peter’s part...and she had a bunch of freshly made documents. Utilizing them, she took up an old hobby: psychiatry. Now working on R.A.F.T. for the big bucks, she’s been able to get her own apartment (that Peter also lives in) and restart some crime... Keeping it small time, however. Surely nothing would go wrong...?

Current Plot: So far, Kraven (and his brother, Chameleon) is on the loose. Again. She’s flattered Mysterio into reviving his ego. Met Ben Reilly, and caught on rather fast that something was off with “Peter.” As well, a promise has been made with Mr. Negative- AKA Martin Li- to find irrefutable proof that Oscorp sucks.

At the current moment in the RP, she and Peter are locked in the escape effort of all time against “Peter” (Ben); he’s found their retreat at the most expensive hotel in NYC, and attempting to make Harley pay for running off with “his clone”... Oops. 

Later plans involve sneaking into Oscorp to get some answers...but not without visiting Aunt May first. (If all can be said and done easily, hopefully this latter part can still be achieved without shit going full-explosive. Again.)

Hinata Hyuga

    A little over a year after Harley’s arrival, Hinata showed up. Although currently unknown to the general populace, a fight with another high-ranking Otsutsuki resulted in them opening a portal...and sending her there, while trying to make an attack on them. The portal closing behind her...

    Although trapped in the city for the time being- at least, according to Dr. Strange, who’s getting increasingly concerned at the multidimensional shenanigans happening lately- she’s been rooming with Eddie Brock & Venom. Her ability to help them in keeping the city safe hasn’t gone unappreciated...although her strength and odd appearance has made fitting in a bit of a struggle.

    It’s starting to work out for her, in a surprising way, however... Who would’ve known that her looks were good enough for modeling to be an option?!

Current Plot: After a night of kicking ass, saving people, and buying chocolate... The waiting period for Dr. Strange’s call continues. (And...it may never come, given that Harley would have to go home first for Hinata to have her chance. Barring the Otsutsuki showing up again... She’s gonna be here for a long while. Something Venom may be too pleased with, much to Eddie’s concern.)

Himiko Toga

    Currently, it’s unknown if Toga was born into this world or dropped into it... (We haven’t fully decided yet, as her Quirk is interesting to attempt to work into Mutations as they are known in the Marvel sense.) But-! What with her birth family falling out with her and surrendering her to the foster system, Toga got...tugged around a bit. Ended up in America, as a transfer student and foster to an American couple.

    ...Now a certain Spider-Man the Second is having to deal with this oddball in his school. What that means for the long term... Good luck, my guy.

Current Plot: Has met Miles and is curious about him, but he’s not on her list...yet. He just showed her to class, and skedaddled away to get to Spidey-work. Himiko tends to need a little time to figure out people that interest her; however... It’s understandable that Miles would be rapidly climbing ever higher onto said list. Good luck, indeed! He doesn’t know what he got himself into, really...

[junichan]

Of Scouts and Seekers

A short story I wrote for a friend’s Transformers OC and mine, set in Transformers Prime. Shimmerwing / Saberwing (Kat's OC) is a Decepticon seeker and Intelligence Officer. Lucky (my OC) is a Decepticon energon scout.

23k words, some unnamed Vehicons and Insecticons get killed (Poor St3v3!)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a huge vein of energon which was great except it meant they would have to excavate a really big mine to harvest it, and the bigger the mine, the easier it was to detect. Lucky knew the Autobots would show up eventually. She urged the Vehicon laborers to work as quickly as they were able, stacking filled transport crates at the back of the mine. As soon as they had gathered the required quota Lucky would call for a groundbridge to move it to the Nemesis.

It was too dangerous and too demanding on the warship’s power reserves to keep a portal open continuously. So, between shipments they were pretty much on their own. At least her crew had already extracted and transported more than half of the energon. Lucky just hoped they would have the good fortune of finishing before the Autobots found the mine.

She examined the datapad in her servo once again, even though she knew there had been only a minimal change since the last time she looked at it. Anything to keep her distracted from the awful sounds of the Insecticon guards crawling and hovering around the perimeter of the mine. She couldn’t stand the way they chittered and clacked when they moved; and the sharp buzz of their wings made Lucky’s audials hurt. They were so creepy!

Lucky didn’t have it in herself to truly hate anyone or anything, but she strongly disliked the Insecticons. She felt like ever since they had come aboard, things on the Nemesis had gotten way more tense. Admittedly they were far more effective soldiers than Commander Starscream’s armada of seeker Vehicons. However the Insecticons only seemed to listen to Megatron and even then only in the context of who they should kill first. They were willing and eager to kill everyone, even fellow Decepticons.

The little scout winced and ducked as one of the Insecticon guards buzzed by overhead in its beetle-like alt mode, very nearly taking off her helm. She glared at it but didn’t bother yelling. It wouldn’t listen to her anyway. If anything it would just growl back at her, or worse do one of their audial-pricing shrieks. Now that Lucky would admit she hated! It sounded like claws dragged across a chalkboard combined with a riff from a badly tuned electric guitar.

As if on cue one of those dreaded shrieks sounded near the entrance of the mine. All at once, every single Insecticon guard reared up its head and looked toward the awful noise before sending up shrieks of their own. The mine became filled with the sound of buzzing wings and clacking mandibles as the bug-like Cons swarmed. Somehow even the awful cacophony couldn’t drown out the noise of blaster fire and explosions coming from the mine’s entrance.

The Autobots had arrived!

Lucky frantically opened her comms, “Soundwave, we need an emergency groundbridge!” But the line was filled with static; something was jamming the signal. The Vehicon laborers had all stopped what they were doing and were looking at her anxiously for orders. She felt dread make a cold lump of her internals as she informed them they were stuck. “We’re going to have to fight our way out, I’m sorry.”

Guilt racked her as Lucky watched the Vehicon’s prepare to defend themselves. It wasn’t her fault that their communications with the Nemesis were cut off, but as their officer in charge she felt responsible for their lives. There was a good chance that most of them were going to get offlined. They all hoped the Insecticons would be able to drive the Autobots off, but if the Prime was with them that was unlikely.

For whatever reason Optimus had shown up at Lucky’s energon sites more and more often lately. Arachnid said it was because the Prime wanted to eat Lucky’s spark, but Lucky was mostly certain the spider-like Con was only trying to scare her. Optimus Prime was dangerous, but he wasn’t a spark-eater! …Right??

The fighting got closer and closer until missiles were flying into the mine and igniting the exposed raw energon clusters. Some of the remaining Insecticons got pushed back into the mine, and the Vehicon laborers began firing back. Knowing how useless she was in combat, Lucky tried to stay out of the way. She hunkered down behind a spur of boulders at the back of the mine, desperately trying to get through to Soundwave or anyone aboard the Nemesis.

She could only watch in horror as the Insecticons and Vehicons were taken down. From her hiding spot, she couldn’t quite see the entrance of the mine, or the Autobots that were attacking. It very quickly became clear that the Autobots had the upper hand and the Cons were flagging. Lucky began to realize her only hope of surviving was staying hidden. Fortunately for her, her glittering green paint job was already covered in enough dirt and dust to blend in rather well with the rocks she was hiding behind.

There was little comfort found in the sounds of blaster fire and explosions starting to wane. Lucky held perfectly still, refusing to even vent a little as she waited and listened. She expected to hear the sounds of tires or peds and Autobot voices. Instead she heard the whine of turbines? The little scout risked a peek around the edge of the boulders she was crouched behind and saw a seeker moving through the settling dust and smoke.

The figure was tall and elegant, obviously a femme. The only femme seeker Lucky knew was Lieutenant Shimmerwing. Even though the femme’s back was to her and her faceplate was covered by a battle mask, Lucky had to assume it was the Lieutenant. For a moment Lucky’s spark flared with hope. Shimmerwing had come to the rescue! They were saved!

One of the Vehicons staggered upright from where he had been knocked down by an energon explosion. The seeker blew his helm off with a blast from her gauntlet cannon. Lucky pressed a servo over her intake to stifle the gasp that almost came out of her. She watched in horror as the seeker went around, methodically finishing off any Con that was still moving. The femme couldn’t have been Shimmerwing! There was no way Megatron’s own Intelligence Officer would kill her fellow Decepticons!

Lucky had the good sense to duck when the seeker looked around. She made herself as small as possible, fighting not to move a single part, straining her audials to track the seeker’s movement. Her spark shuddered at the sound of pedfalls moving closer to her hiding spot. The little energon scout shut her optics down, unable to keep from trembling as she waited for the end —

The roar of engines and the rumble of tires announced the arrival of the Autobots. Lucky could hear them transforming as they entered the mine.

“Saberwing!” Optimus’ voice boomed off the walls of the cave, accompanied by the whine of several blasters powering up. “Stand down!”

The voice that responded carried a calm self-assurance that sounded a lot like Shimmerwing’s, although the battle mask distorted it enough that Lucky wasn’t sure. “Sure. I’m done here anyway.” Then came the unmistakable sound of a flyer transforming into their alt mode, and the roar of turbine thrusters as it took off.

As the sound of the seeker flying of faded, Lucky could hear the Autobot two-wheeler Arcee vent in disgust, “Looks like another massacre. She didn’t even take any of the energon.”

“Why would a ‘Con go around killing other ‘Cons??” the one called Bulkhead wondered out loud, “Not that I’m complaining of course.”

“Saberwing clearly has a vendetta she’s carrying out.”

“Against energon harvesters??”

Optimus hummed, his voice heavy with what sounded like pity. “I believe the Vehicon laborers were just collateral damage. It appears Saberwing was targeting the Insecticon guards. Why she is doing so remains a mystery.”

Lucky mustered up enough courage to chance another peek. Primus’ mercy was still with her as the Autobots all had their backs turned to her hiding spot. She waited silently as they called back to their base for a groundbridge and took all the gathered energon with them when they left, reasoning that it would be foolish to allow it to go to waste, or worse let some Decepticons come back for it.

“Surprised Megatron’s little energon sniffer wasn’t here,” Bulkhead remarked just before they disappeared through the groundbridge.

“It is a good thing she was not,” Optimus replied, “Or Saberwing would have killed her like all the others.”

Lucky stayed hidden long after the ground bridge closed, too scared to move. Eventually she slowly stood and took a wary look around. All of the Vehicons and Insecticons assigned to support her were dead, laying in broken heaps of metal and slowly leaking energon all over the cave floor. And the energon they had harvested was gone. Lubricant filled the femme’s optics and a rattling exhale left her vents as remorse and dread washed over her. So many lives lost! And worse, she was going to be blamed for it.

The quiet beep of her comm going off made her jump. It was Soundwave, likely wanting to know why her report was so delayed. It seemed her comms were no longer being scrambled. It took her a few moments to muster up a response. “Something really bad happened down here, Soundwave. E-Everyone’s dead, and the Autobots took the energon. I - I’m so sorry!”

No surprise, she didn’t get a verbal response from the Decepticon Communications Officer. Instead, a small ground bridge opened up in front of her, summoning her back to the Nemesis. Stepping through put her on the bridge of the warship, where Lord Megatron was standing in his usual position of command. Lucky’s circuits went cold with terror and she cast a pitiful glance over at the impassive Soundwave. He didn’t even spare her a return glance; she had messed up and now she was going to have to explain herself.

Megatron’s back was to the young scout as he gazed out of the warship’s massive forward windows, his massive claws folded behind him. Commander Starscream stood at his side at a respectful distance, and even Lieutenant Shimmerwing was there, standing opposite. Starscream’s red eyes fixed her with the usual disapproval, but there was something different about the way Shimmerwing was looking at her.

Lucky’s engine sputtered, remembering the sight of a very familiar looking seeker slaughtering her fellow Cons. Saberwing, she thought desperately, Not Shimmerwing, right?? Normally the taller femme’s smirk was cocky but at least a little amiable toward Lucky. But now her smile was cold. There was a knowing look in Shimmerwing’s optics, as if she could see right through the trembling scout.

Could it be Shimmerwing and Saberwing were the same Cybertronian? If Lucky told Megatron what she had seen, would Megatron believe her? What if he didn’t? Even if he did believe, what would stop Shimmerwing from killing her too?

Lucky’s venting became erratic, escaping her form in sharp puffs as her frantic thoughts spiraled.

Megatron’s voice snapped her back to reality almost painfully. “It’s unusual that you fail so spectacularly, scout,” he observed almost casually. He turned just enough to glare over his shoulder at his smallest minion. “Tell me, exactly how did you manage to let the Autobots kill an entire squadron of Insecticon guards and steal a third of that mine’s energon yield?”

Lucky’s armor was rattling she was shaking so hard. “B-but, Sire, i-it wasn’t –” She started to correct Megatron’s assumption, but then she met Shimmerwing’s optics and her words died in a squeak. The look the femme was giving her was a clear warning. “It – it wasn’t my fault!” she managed to eke out, “Please don’t be angry! I tried calling for help but my comms were blocked!”

Megatron rolled his optics at the pathetic display, while Starscream seemed to become incensed. The seeker commander came forward and slapped Lucky across the helm with enough force to send her stumbling sideways. “Lord Megatron doesn’t want excuses, you pathetic little scrap!” 

“I’m sorry!” she pleaded again, and she really did mean it. But her continued apology only earned her another slap and a kick for good measure. Starscream’s sharp peds really hurt. Lucky didn’t even try to defend herself though, excepting her punishment for failing to keep her fellow ‘Cons safe.

Everyone in the room knew there was nothing Lucky could have done to stop the Autobots. She wasn’t a combatant. But someone had to take the blame and the punishment for a failed mission, and she was the easiest target. After a few more moments of enduring Starscream’s abuse, Megaton deigned to have mercy on the little scout. Lucky’s energon rations were halved for a deca-cycle and then she was dismissed with the warning that next time she wouldn’t get off so easily.

Lucky ran out of there so fast she left scuffs on the floor. She went straight to her habsuite and threw herself on her recharge slab to cry. She cried in remorse for the poor Vehicons that had been killed. She cried at the hopelessness and unfairness of being the Nemesis’ scapegoat. But mostly she cried as she tried to process what she had learned that day – Shimmerwing had been out there murdering Insecticons as a rogue Con called Saberwing. Why?? And what was going to happen to her now that she knew Shimmerwing’s secret?? Would she be killed too?

[regarding-stories]

Good Isekai anime with unfortunate cringe or worse ("Handyman Saito", "Cautious Hero")

When growing up I had several run-ins with a kind of fantasy fiction that turned out to be my favorite. Somebody gave me a book, I forgot the title, and the story was about a teenage boy transported to another world to become involved in an epic struggle between good and evil. This coincided with several games with similar basic premise - the Ultima series and its clone, Die Dunkle Dimension ("The Dark Dimension"). The beginning of Ultima V: Warriors of Destiny had me immediately hooked by starting off right in the middle of things. You answer the call, enter a magical portal in a stone circle in the woods by moonlight, and soon after rejoining your old friends on the other side you end up being attacked by extremely powerful entities, the Shadowlords, and they cut down a friend. You beat a hasty retreat and then start the game at a hideout in earnest. Talk about a powerful initial scene!

I don't read much typical fantasy fiction, really. So consider me both surprised and delighted that a very similar genre is quite popular in Japan, "Isekai." A hero is transported to or reincarnated in another world. The genre has not only developed its own set of tropes, by now it also has spawned its own set of parodies, something that happens late in the lifecycle of a genre of fiction when it has found a wide enough appeal.

So I checked a few lists on the internet, got myself a Crunchyroll subscription, and dug in like at an all-you-can-eat buffet. There's a lot to chose from but I recently found myself watching two shows in particular, Handyman Saitou in another world and Cautious Hero: The Hero is Overpowered but Overly Cautious. Both are parodies and poke quite a bit of fun at the genre, and they're decent or actually great shows most of the time... and then they either involve some really cringy if not outright questionable bits. Sigh.

Handyman Saito

Now this is in general a decent, light-hearted show, mostly consisting of shorts describing many aspects of living in a fantasy world for fun. People know their "level" so this becomes part of their social status, so one scene happens at a sort of dating agency - a business meant to find you a suitable marriage partner. I guess that's a thing in Japan. And the fantasy version is just as unforgiving, apparently, as the real one - you're too old, your level is not particularly high... I guess the equivalent would be a middling salary at middle age. Talk about a status-conscious society! Makes me wonder about Japan, really. But then again, for all its talk of romantic love and finding the right partner, the tendency in the West has increasingly been to avoid uneven social status pairings. Something that was quite common in the 60s and 70s (and maybe necessary due to the prospects of women in society...) has now largely reversed, and most people pick exactly in their own bracket of education and earning. So maybe Japan looks very status-conscious at first, or maybe "we" are just hypocrites about it...?

Anyway, the show has in general a solid, good-natured, silly humor and is relaxing to watch for the most part. Whenever it attempts to tell longer stories, it falls flat, but it slowly adds a bit of detail to its characters and how they fit together, has a little light romance between the tank knight girl and Saitou, and in general helps us see this place through Saitou's eyes, a person without magical talent or fighting skills but handy in many situations.

And then it suddenly dumps sexualized content on you... for laughs? Not always sure. When the knight girl has to take her armor off, there's a comment how big her breasts are. Isn't it great when your friends are like this...? Now, Saitou is never that guy - he's not only decent to a fault, he also has a crush on her. But it was the first time the show felt off to me.

Sometimes it veers between cringy and funny when it reveals that the base of the system of measurement is the... equipment... of a long-dead king. (I admit I had to laugh...) But then there is another dick joke... turning into a blowjob joke... and this scene between two female adventurers with a closeted romance brewing where the cleric... licks... the elf's... wounds...

Come on! I'm watching this show to be amused. Suddenly it's all gone full-on perv fetish. That was stupid. Of course this would also be the part where your parents would walk in on you - if you are a minor or living at home. Explain that one.

In general I enjoy the series. It slowly gives its characters depth. Things played up for laughs are later on motivated, so your understanding of the actions people take shifts. Of course, given the general nature of the show it's yet to be seen if any of these details will matter. I haven't finished yet. Currently it's mostly stuck in a not-very-well executed boss fight that brings various characters together being drawn out for some drama.

Cautious Hero

Now this is generally a well-executed show. It plays on apparently classical Isekai tropes - hero gets called into a world by a god or goddess, then saves the world. So our second protagonist is a somewhat ditzy goddess with good intentions.

The show is smart and actually manages quite well to base its humor - and story - on the single idea that the hero is overly cautious, likes to plan, be prepared, and all of that to a fault. This should get stale fast but somehow it doesn't. We actually learn that in spite of being cold and arrogant, the hero actually seems to be a decent person at heart. His actions betray care where his words don't. In fact, he's outright verbally abusive towards others, also rather paranoid. Part of the appeal is how that is woven into the story. I haven't finished this one as of yet, either.

So this is not just a good show, it's bordering on being a great show. It has great execution, it toys with tropes, drama, twists. This is solid, entertaining craftsmanship. But...

The depiction of women... well, mostly goddesses... and their treatment by the hero is horrible. And any attempts at humor about this are often crude and cringy. There seems to be a thing about bust size between goddesses, and the show is overly full of boob windows and outfits that hide nothing. But I guess that's not uncommon in anime or manga. So that is a problem (sometimes of bizarre proportions), but it's not the main problem.

There is the behavior of the goddesses, for one thing. Okay, the co-protagonist is a bit of naive ditz, and it actually works most of the time quite well. But then there is a goddess who becomes compulsively obsessed with the hero, then there is another that is an outright horndog with absolutely no sense of dignity or sense once she gives in to it. (That scene is just pathetic.) Then there is the goddess who likes to feel up other goddesses - and as our co-protagonist points out, she's basically a harasser. Ha ha. This mixes in with the boob jokes - including a (censored) depiction of what high speed flight does to these skimpy outfits. Are you slapping your thighs yet?

I'm amazed adults dare to write and animate such stuff that you find funny when you are... 13?

Sadly, this is not the end of it. There's a scene where the hero hits a female. Repeatedly. WTF. Now his argument (he's always rational) that she is at fault for killing her own soldiers (while blaming him) through bad judgment and bad leadership is valid. But neither is what follows funny or appropriate. I was dazed watching it, especially as the scene continued. Repeated slaps in the face.

This is a real shame. None of this contributes anything to making the show fun or good or adds to the plot. It could be just as easily removed, leaving behind a really good show. So why the cringe? And why the poor betrayal of women as idiots? Almost all "single" women of eligible age (mostly goddesses, one human) are portrayed as idiots of some shape and form. Female characters can be the butt of a joke like anyone else, but this is one-sided and pretty much all the time crosses over into pure cringe. And the one exception to the cringe rule gets the biggest boobs with the biggest window to display them.

Sigh.

So, I can't really recommend these shows to anyone, in spite of intending to watch especially Cautious Hero to finish. Can we just have anime without such crude jokes and such low behavior? Something that is fun and funny?

Anime makers need to get a clue from what was at the base of this joke from Spinal Tap almost thirty forty (corrected) years ago: Ian Faith : They're not gonna release the album… because they have decided that the cover is sexist.

Nigel Tufnel : Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no…

Ian Faith : Sex-IST!

[maximumsunshine]

Good luck tomorrow!!!! I hope you find the answers you're looking for, and whatever the issue is is manageable and resolved quickly! I believe in you!!!

Tests were today. Made the post late night and stayed up all night so I'm not sure when tomorrow became today.

ANYWAY

The tests went well. MRI results in my portal nut in medical speak. No Nuclear Med test results yet. That was an interesting test. "Hey we're going to IV you this med that is the equivalent of two really fatty meals so you are SUPER going to want to puke. Here is a puke bag. Try not to puke though just because we know puking sucks. And no we can't let you take your zofran because that sort of defeats the purpose. Sorry. But once the drug is administered you pretty much lose the going to puke feeling. So we just gotta get through this little bit if meds. It's a small amount but we administer it slowly because if given it too fast you will for sure puke. Wait. You mean if i let you lay down on your left side (I had been sitting up) and arrange your arms just so, you can probably completely even avoid serious nausea?! Give me a minute, I'll go find a gurney." And thus I avoided puking. AND THEN she pulled another syringe of meds out of a lead tube, incases it in a smaller lead shield, and then injected THAT directly into my veins. Lol. So yeah, I'm radioactive right now. Not sure when my system will flush that bit. But I find it funny. I watched her remove the syringe from this massive lead case and put it in a smaller lead shield and I'm just like, "Oh. It's RADIOACTIVE radioactive. Lol"

Anyway, no nuke test results in yet. And I don't understand the MRI results. But my doctor will be able to figure out what's up soon enough and will explain it so I can understand.

I sort of feel like I'm going crazy. Like maybe nothing is wrong. After years of doctors invalidating me telling me I'm just fat, maybe I'm really just fat. But my blood work does validate that something is going in. And that something started when my gallbladder was removed. And we KNOW my gallbladder pissed my liver off because it made the surgery much harder. And then my liver spewed bile just loose into my abdominal cavity for a month and i got sepsis and hadvto have a drain installed. Like we have all this evidence that even I can understand that my liver is fucked up and it ties into my gallbladder not being yoinked fast enough. And we know it took as long as it did for my gallbladder issue to even BE FOUND because when I told my old doctor i was feeling pain and pointed to roughly where my gallbladder was, she tolde it was just me being fat. Those words. Cramps from being fat. Doctors also blamed 5 years of severe anemia that led to many a blood transfusion on "me not making my own blood" because I was fat. And THAT was cancer. So yeah.

When a doctor dismisses a symptom as you just being fat, get a new doctor before you get a new symptom.

Anyway, I have a better pcp now who takes me seriously and doesn't call me fat. I have a better hemotologist oncologist who takes my cancer history seriously and does regular checks and has never called me fat. He was the one that found my liver numbers in his routine blood tests he orders fir me and sounded the alarm which explained the nausea and fatigue and got me into a great GI doctor. Who omg he listened to me talk and talk. He took fucking detailed notes on every word i said. He let me give him my full GI history and all my current symptoms. First visit lasted an hour and I left there with more blood work ordered and these two major tests ordered. He took me so seriously he ordered major tests in the first visit. I'm loves him. I love them all.

I settled for shit doctors that almost let me die from cancer all while promising me i didn't have cancer (literally) all while refusing to run any tests.

I went from wearing this to my hemotologist oncologist and him finding it funny.

To no longer needing it. Because all my new doctors take me seriously and run tests.

I knew i was dying. I was told I had the best hemotologist oncologist in Columbus. So what was the point in finding a different one? Yeah. Well the assessment of his abilities came from his coworkers at Ohio Health. All of that bullshit was Ohio Health. When I showed up in the ER with a hemoglobin of 4 and had my cancer found and removed within 2 days, that wasn't an Ohio Health ER. I didn't just fire a doctor or two. I fired an entire medical system.

Anyway that was an unexpected rant. But I have complicated feeling about medical shit. Like trying to reconcile years of medical abuse that ended in serious trauma just over a year ago. With the overwhelming change in quality of care I'm getting now. It's a full 180. I'm trying to catch my breath. Which, i guess will be easier when this liver bullshit is figured out and corrected.

Then i can focus my efforts on being retested for asthma. Maybe get care for that. Figure out my headaches. Need an mri on my neck for the constant pinched nerves in my shoulders. So much to move on to when the liver is figured out. But there is great comfort in knowing without a doubt my pcp has my back.

/end rant

Oh. That shirt is a 3xl and in good shape if anyone needs it. Cover shipping and it's yours. But, I'm begging you that if you're thinking you could use this shirt, to please just fire your doctor(s) and hire new ones. It could literally save your life! Anyway, hit me up if you want the shirt. Open offer to everyone who is losing patience with their doctor.

[tofiveohfive]

Do you maybe have any stevetony fanfic recommendations?

why, yes, i do! to be fair, i haven't read any stevetony fics in over a year, but i still have my ao3 bookmarks and my old marvel blog haha. also, just a warning before anything else: i'm a big, big fan of angsty fics, so, yeah.

my absolute favorite piece of writing in the marvel fandom is the series what we share (and what we hide) by @machi-kun​​. the 1st part is set right after CACW, before IW, from steve’s POV, and the 2nd part is still a work in progress, post-IW, from tony’s POV. despite it not being finished, i can't recommend it enough. just trust me. you haven't seen writing like this.

Hating Steve Rogers: my second favorite piece of writing. the angst in this one gave me butterflies. 

An Infinite Number Of Monkeys At Typewriters (Or, Steve and Tony Finally Get It Right):  After the events of Civil War, Tony and Steve wake up in bed next to each other in an alternate universe. It goes about as well as you’d expect it to.

Lost With You (Might Be All I Need): Tony and Steve fall through a portal just after defeating Thanos and his army. Stranded in another dimension, the two have to finally face what happened—and what could have been.

All Roads Lead To: After Obadiah’s betrayal, Tony hides in the depths of the Midwest to become a mechanic. The Avengers come into his life anyway.

The Jar:  The Avengers are ridiculously competitive people, and what starts out as a silly late-night team discussion quickly becomes a contest: their names. Not the code names – the nicknames. Who can go the longest without using them?

Lost Together: Being trapped in a horrible world where some things are like home, and some things are terrifyingly not, is bad enough. But when it becomes clear that the people here come in pairs - and unpaired people are a threat - Steve and Tony are forced to pretend that they’re a pair too, if they ever want to make it home alive.

Binary System: Tony tends to be tactile with people he trusts. These days that list of people includes Steve, which is a good sign of the progression of their friendship. 

Stick With Me, Baby, I’m the Fella You Came in With: During the final battle with Ultron, Tony kisses Steve for the first time. Afterward, he makes it clear to Steve that he was just running on adrenaline and not thinking clearly. (this whole series is AMAZING, tbh)

Take Care, I’m Easily Broken: Tony isn’t the type of person to pine quietly.

Someone to Love: What does it matter that it’d been because of Loki and his damn magic? He’d fallen in love with Steve once. He can do it again.

Take Two: Steve loses his memory but he gets the feeling he’s lost a lot more. Who exactly is Tony Stark to him and why won’t he come out of the basement? (AMNESIA AU, i can’t scream this loudly enough)

Love’s Such an Old-Fashioned Word: Steve gets the very brilliant idea that he and Tony should date, but Tony needs some convincing.

Rebirth: this is the 1st part of a series. if you really like angst, i strongly recommend this one. the comment i wrote in my bookmark for this is literally “WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS ANGST” lmao (unfortunately, the 2nd part is not as good, but that’s another issue).

when i run out of road, you bring me home: my comment on this bookmark is: “tony owns a farm, steve shows up, lots of kids show up, FOUND FAMILY” fhsdjhfjk

The Butterfly Effect: While fighting with Loki, Steve Rogers from 2012 hears the two simple words: “Bucky’s alive.” And the whole universe ripples with the aftershocks.

A Hundred Times, Once: The shrill tone of his SHIELD beeper pulls Steve out of sleep and into battle. He fights robots, he fights Tony’s shameless advances, he fights the exhaustion that threatens to take over him, drown him. And then the next morning, he wakes and does it again. Exactly the same. And again. And again. And again.

As Sharp As Any Thorn: It’s four days to Christmas, there’s a city in shambles, and the nation is in mourning because of the actions of a single man.

dreaming through the decades: “S-soulmates aren’t supposed to share dreams until they’re teenagers.” “Teenagers,” the boy repeats after a moment, like Tony had just spoken another language. “We’re too young,” Tony tells him. “I’m- I’m only eight.” “Me, too,” the boy says. His face keeps flickering from hope to something like fear. He takes an uncertain step forwards, but stops when Tony’s back becomes even more rigid. “I’m Steve Rogers.”

and he looks up: the steve/tony Titanic!AU with a happy ending for the Avengers.

most ardently: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a genius playboy in possession of the world’s largest tech conglomerate must be in want of a skinny little artist with an attitude problem. (pride and prejudice AU)

oof. these are a lot, but, on the bright side, you can pick whatever tickles your fancy? 😅

[jodilin65]

So glad my massive editing job is finally coming to an end. I may not have done a perfect job, but it is what it is. I'm not going through nearly 10K entries again. I tried to not only correct things but also make them more consistent. However, sometimes "OK" was "okay," and that's fine. I've noticed that different speech-to-text programs write things differently. One may say "10:00 AM" while another may say "10:00 a.m." Any idiot can understand what I'm saying, though, and most importantly, I get it.

Soon, I'm going to be getting into other things, mostly creative writing and crafts. Just for fun, I may run some of my old stories through AI and let it correct them. I don't like all the changes it makes, but the ones I do like simply correct things without changing the story itself, and I appreciate that. I don't want it to take away from my own individual creations and give me something entirely different that makes me feel like someone else wrote them and they’re not my stories.

I wish Aly were alive to enjoy these new technologies! I miss her so much. I'm sure she would have found AI helpful for some things. I absolutely love it and can't imagine going back to life without it, just like I said when Tom introduced me to computers in 1993 and then when Alexa came around in 2015.

Anyway, I don't have to run my writing through the text reader anymore. I can just skim it, give it to AI, and then skim it again to make sure it didn't change anything too drastically. It does like to tone down my swears, though, LOL, but that's OK. I still let Grammarly have a go at it the first time around. It works while I write.

Soon, I'm going to go through my last manuscript, the blackmail story with Nane as my muse. I haven't met anyone lately that makes for a good muse, so I'm using old ones. Some were people I've seen on- or offline, some came from dreams, and some came from my vivid imagination. I don't know that I'll crank out three or four stories a year like I used to, but I'm determined to finish what I start.

I'm also going to finish my latch hook rug once and for all and start the cross-stitch kit I have a feeling I'm going to regret getting. I also have adult coloring books and diamond paintings to do, plus there's acrylic painting and my oil pastels. Maybe I'll even go back to studying and practicing languages because it's good brain exercise. It's hard work, but it's fun, too.

I'm continuing to have on-and-off stomach cramps, and sometimes I even feel slight nausea. Tomorrow is lab day, so hopefully, I'll get some answers, though I don't think this is anything serious. I doubt it's connected to my liver. I'm worried I'm going to have a bunch of bad numbers just the same, but there's only so much I can do about that. Of course, they're going to call when I'm asleep since nobody can use the damn portal. The worst numbers I'm expecting to come back are cholesterol. Hopefully, my TSH will be under 10 and my A1C will be good along with my WBC. I'm not sure what to think about my thyroid because I still feel like I have hypo symptoms. I've been in a good mood, and I'm chilly at times. I have a little bit of hair loss and dry skin as well. If it's not under 10, I don't expect it to be over 15. I'm guessing it's going to be 11 or 12. The question will be why. Is the gland dying some more, or are stomach issues blocking the absorption of the medication?

Last night, I had several dreams involving my old ENT. We were goofing around playfully, and she was carrying me somewhere. I hugged her, kissed her cheek, and said, “I love you.” Then I quickly added, “In a friendly way, of course,” so she wouldn't get the wrong idea.

It's weird because I'll go a while without dreaming of her and then all of a sudden she's in several dreams. Part of me regrets rejecting friend and message requests on Facebook in case she made good on her word and contacted me, but I know she wouldn't. No one ever reaches out to me first.

[meretseger3283]

I’m happy with my glove choice as I ride up hwy 12.

I am layered up pretty good on my torso and just wearing cargo pants, it’s brisk enough to feel good and my mesh gloves really give that fist in the wind feeling. Visor up on rides like this, you can smell the trees and the earth and the river better that way. 99 miles of winding road, a fairly famous sign as you enter hwy 12, I grinned and let 6th gear eat a little with a whooping noise from I don’t know where. The ride in to kooskia was cool.. that’s it, there was a beautiful stretch near McCall and interesting enough scenery but nothing breathtaking. The Street Bob did amazing, she’s loaded up to about the limit and I barely even noticed. The gas tank is a bit small but if you’re careful you can squeeze 200 miles out of it, no concern anyways as I have a spare gallon tied to the back. One thing I’ve learned on this trip is bungee cords are much more trustworthy than I previously thought. Not to take away from the beauty of the ride from boise to kooskia, but when you have expectations of never ending forest and beautiful mountains, you get calloused to the high desert. The way the river cuts through the rocks and valleys is gorgeous in its own way but it didn’t speak to my soul. There was a paved road leading into kooskia called Luke’s gulch and it would’ve been beautiful but there was just enough rocks and gravel on the road to be hazardous in turns, and then you have all the gypsy looking properties that can only be explained as hick like. I hate seeing people in the wilderness, it detaches the whole fucking experience when farmer John has his 15 broken tractors in this beautiful gulch. Now once you turn onto highway 12 it’s like entering a portal. I found a campsite a few miles up and happily claimed my spot. I met a cyclist who was doing a similar trip, made me feel like a cheater for having an engine, never had much respect for bicyclists, but to be doing that big of a journey, I give him props. The night was cool, I fell asleep reading Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.. interesting book, I think I have it somewhat figured out but we’ll see.

My alarm went off a few times and I turned it off, I’m not a morning person, never was, never will be. It is undoubtedly the best time to ride, crisp air, the sun rising, it’s beautiful and even the bike responds better in the morning air. But it’s not for me, I went back to bed and awoke at 9:30. Plenty of time to make it to glacier national park and have some time to explore. Once again, hwy 12 was ineffable, the river, the endless forest and mountains, the road was even perfectly curvy. I had a smile on my face the whole time just waiting to see what was next. It really was 99 miles of winding road and I ate up every inch of it. I was still amazed at how well the bike was handling, I of course wasn’t scraping peg through corners but I went along at a good pace and never felt burdened, I wondered to myself if I was that good at packing, just lucky, or if the bike was somehow making up for it. Going towards Montana I noticed a sign, “moose crossing 1,000 ft” and I chuckled to myself like the moose cared where they were crossing, but sure enough I round a corner and this “little” moose is just meandering over on the other shoulder, he tumbled away as I came over. Moose always look like they are tripping over themselves to me, albeit they are graceful creatures.. somehow that makes sense. Lolo pass was once again astounding and breathtaking…. Hwy 12 is just goddamn breathtaking. I rode into Missoula chuckling that I just rode one of the famous roads in Idaho. I gathered my wits and stomach there and then headed out to glacier national park, I made a wrong turn and my map app redirected me up the boring route… I didn’t notice until it was too late, rookie mistake not having landmarks to look for, it was a boring hwy, whatever no use commenting. However the stretch up flathead lake was worth commenting. Flathead lake is huge and totally worth visiting even to just drive by. It goes on for miles of road and it’s forest all around it, I enjoyed every moment up that lake. Glacier national park was once again breathtaking, the sheer size and unknown of it were awe inspiring. I planned to take the going to the sun road but avalanches had another thought, anyways it was late by time I arrived and I needed to Setup camp.. shit, the campsite now requires reservations, the backup campsite was an hour+ away and I was mentally done, I rode over to what I thought was the visitor center to find service on my phone and accidentally wound up at a motel.. it was right on lake McDonald, it was getting late, and the lady was super nice, fuck it I’ll cheat one night.

That bed was amazing, once again I didn’t fully wake up till about 9:30, but I showered the night before and was feeling good. I hopped on the bike and hoped that nobody noticed I skipped the fee for the park, not my fault, I went to the window and it was closed, then went to the podium the window pointed at and it was blank. It was late and I was trying to find somewhere to sleep, don’t blame me. I had decided to take the northern route to bonners ferry that went through eureka and past lake Koocanusa which made Flathead look small! Montana route 93 and 37 were really what I was looking for, I fell in love with Montana on this trip, the whole state had a special beauty about it, and the particular roads I named were endless forests with spattered lakes,rivers, creeks and all sorts of other things to look at. The road was decently curvy and once again I was grinning ear to ear at whatever the next corner was bringing. I made it to my stop at bonners ferry and wanted more. I knew I was being greedy at this point and I was already at my next stop. But if there was any more ounce of endless forests and scenery I could see, I wanted it. So I quickly ate and jumped back on the bike, it was windy as all get out and just like the pre-Kooskia stretch this was really beautiful country but I was left needing more like a crack junkie fresh out. Ultimately disappointed I settled into the next leg of my journey and set the gps to Old Spiral highway in Lewiston, I was hurting by time I got to the Old Spiral, I hopped off my bike at a scenic turnout and pissed freely overlooking the town of Lewiston. It’s a freeing feeling, you got to try it sometime.. but I did realize mid stream I was pissing on the memorial of the guy who built this road.. whoops, can’t take me anywhere. Feeling slightly rejuvenated I hopped on my bike and road the most dangerous road in Idaho, man it was something, short little road only a few miles but death looms over every corner and there is literally no room for mistakes. Just what I needed after the last leg of my journey. I left Lewiston and went back on hwy 12 to find a campsite, nothing I had looked up was coming to fruition, I couldn’t find a damn thing, I turned around and remembered I passed an rv park, fuck it’s worth a chance. I’m losing daylight, I pull in and see a place I could go, so I go talk to the camp host, an ornery old man named Norman who refuses to take my 20 dollars because he won’t give an extra cent to the damn government. With a little bit of talking he tells me I can setup over there while he finds me some change. Next up is Old White Bird hill! And for tonight I’m out of light typing this damn thing, no time for my book. Old White Bird is also a must take at some point, the hills roll forever and it’s serene there. I’m not sure how I missed it the first time around but the ride between Riggins and McCall is gorgeous, maybe I was too amped up to be on my trip the first time, maybe it looks cooler coming back, I’m not sure but this was no slouch of scenery. The 666 on the dash clashed with the st Christopher medal my dad gave me that’s tightly wrapped behind the master cylinder. The 666 refers to 66 mph in 6 gear, all neatly displayed next to each other on my electronic speedo. I never pushed it too hard on the early legs of my trip, I was too worried about losing something I needed or putting an end to the trip too early by messing up the bike, but by time I reached Cascade, I was feeling a little good and could taste home so I started pushing it through some corners, I know these roads from being a photographer for a raft company and I knew if I played it right I could scrape a peg while fully loaded for my trip. Corner after corner I gave it more gas and laid into the corners, I finally got a single scrape on the left side a turn or two before I ran into traffic, good enough for me, what a way to end the trip. When I got home I unpacked and checked the odometer and clocked in at just under 1300 miles. It was a good trip.

[youmightaswell]

Die!

Float like a butterfly, get stung by a bee

One of the things I like most about travel, whether it be a trip to explore a new city or a vacation simply to stay at the hotel (and eat there daily The White Lotus-style), is the stories I get. Sometimes they are truly noteworthy; sometimes just tiny little oddities from peoplewatching. But these special, one-of-a-kind memories add something a bit special to any travel.

Airports and hotels are great places to be voyeuristic. Peoplewatching is next-level when thrust into the wilds, surrounded by people from all different places.

This trip was no different. Of course there was yet ANOTHER noteworthy happening involving a BEACH CABANA. But I will save that for my next post. Those following me on IG know I have been posting stories (and Kartoons) about someone I like to call, “Resort Karen”. More on that later.

For now I will tell you the very minor thing that happened to me while staying at the Viceroy Riviera Maya, my favorite resort in the world that I’ve been to, which I go to yearly. It’s my one big splurge trip. The costliest, yet shortest, and the most relaxing.

Last year the noteworthy thing that happened involved The Worry Doll they put under my pillow. If you need a link to that story in case you don’t remember, let me know and I’ll find the link. In short: A worry doll is a little doll you put under your pillow who you tell your stressors to and supposedly it will take them from you so you can sleep better.

Serendipitously, as I was on the at trip last year, writer Kelly Oxford sent out her newsletter, Permanent Retrograde, and in it was an essay about her own trip and it mentioned a worry doll. I found it noteworthy, because, coincidentally, a few years before while on vacation in Vegas I had her book of essays with me and while at the pool worried about securing the perfect lounge chair, I came across her essay about her being in Vegas and worrying about the same. She said, “Towels equal power”, explaining that at any resort the more towels you have, the more power you have to save good seats.

Anyway, this trip there was no Kelly Oxford continuity, although she did send out a newsletter.

But what did happen that I found noteworthy in involved my pool float, which I bring with me on every trip. This particularly float, a lime-shaped and colored one, you may remember reading about in my essay about my trip two years ago to Turks and Caicos called, When Life Hands you a Lemon Float… (again if you don’t remember and want to read it, let me know and I’ll find the link). In short, that T&C cabana was magical and a portal to hell. The year prior an old man literally slept in it so no one else could have it. I went out day after day trying to snag it because it is the best one on the resort, and I was always too late. One night I went out at 4am and he was literally sleeping in it. The next year that same cabana was mine the whole trip but someone had left two floats in it: a lime one and a lemon one. The lemon one mysteriously disappeared and I was left wondering if I had imagined it, if it was stolen, or if the Universe gifted me with it to fuck with me. Anyway, the lime one remained and I took it home with me. It now comes on every trip with me.

This vacation I used it to float alone in the huge and empty resort pool. One of my fave things about the Viceroy is with just 40 villas it is never crowded.

I am always anxious on trips (thankfully a worry doll was once again left under my pillow), left alone to have too much time in my head. I was floating around, using my hands as paddles, wondering what weird and noteworthy thing would happen this trip. I thought back to 2011 while on a trip to the Hamptons and how that was the trip I got the tick bite that changed my life for the worse. I got Lyme and have never been the same and live in constant pain. Then a few years ago, back to the Hamptons, I got a mosquito bite that lead to me getting West Nile Virus, spending over a week in the hospital with meningitis. Why was nature always trying to harm me?

As I was thinking this and floating around aimlessly, I felt this excruciating pain in my hand. At first I thought I somehow got a splinter from touching the edge of the pool, but when I looked there was a black, winged insect sticking out of my hand. It didn’t look like a bee and the pain was so searing, it was much worse than what I imagined a bee sting would be like. I had never gotten a bee sting in all my 52+ years and always wondered if I would be allergic. Would my throat close? Would this be where I die? I love this place so much I was almost ok with that.

I got out of the pool, stinger still in my hand, and showed the bar staff. They said they believed it was a small bee because lately there were a bunch by the edge of the pool because some of the flowers there had nectar they seemed to love. I got the stinger out with my nail and my hand quickly swelled like a balloon. They brought me ice and I told them if for some reason I did have an allergy, that I had an epi-pen in my room so to please run there before calling the ambulance.

Thankfully, I was not allergic. I sat with ice on my hand the rest of the day and by the following all was fine.

I saw the insect I had killed floating in the pool and staff identified it as a tiny bee. Later while recovering on my lounge chair by the ocean, I saw another, bigger bee, by my foot. I took my shoe and killed it just to alert all others not to even try it. I wanted all bees to know who the real pod boss (hive boss? queen bee?) was in this place.

For 52 years bees and I have had a truce, but now that one made the first move, it was ON!