#anyway i love my almost-husband and ALL of his many. MANY. flaws

[one-winged-dreams]

Every time someone criticizes Angeal saying "What, so we're supposed to think he's a good person?" it takes 5 minutes off my life from rage alone.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Failing

Summary: Joel made many mistakes. The biggest was leaving you.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 1.3k

Rating: G

Warnings: angst, a lot of inner thoughts, panic attacks, Joel and Ellie do not talk, Joel is a mess, lots of talk about being a failure and not good enough, messy breakup, unplanned pregnancy

A/N: This has been going through my mind since I saw the new pic yesterday. This is really different from everything I write usually, so let me know what you think. And yeah, come yell at me in my inbox

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part one of invisible string

He knew he should have stayed home tonight.

He could have worked on… something. He could have talked himself into picking up his guitar and pretend everything was okay.

He could pretend that he wasn’t a failure.

He could pretend Ellie was still talking to him.

Instead he was here, the people around him celebrating god knows what, music playing, people dancing and he?

He was hoping to at least get a look at the girl that had become like a daughter to him. The daughter he lost because he lied to her.

Turned out his mother was right, lying was not getting him anywhere. 

He hadn’t talked to her in weeks, not getting more than a fleeting look at her from afar like a creepy stalker.

Tommy was right, he needed to give her time.

But somehow he felt like time was running out. 

Tommy had been right in a lot of things lately. Something Joel was not used to, still having the irresponsible young man in the back of his mind he had been before outbreak.

But Tommy wasn’t that man anymore.

He was a husband, a father, a respected leader of the little community he had helped build.

And Joel was…. He did not feel like he changed much. He was still angry all the time.

Angry at the world.

Angry at the people.

But most of all angry at himself.

The way he was feeling now? Alone and lonely?

He had no one but himself to blame for it.

It was moments like these that you came to his mind.

You would know what to do. You would know how to fix this mess that he got himself into. You always did. Until he had pushed you away for good, almost six years ago when he got even more involved in the underground in the Boston QZ.

Meeting and falling in love with you had been the only good thing that had happened to him since the outbreak. You had seen him, the real him.

The broken man that was desperate for… something.

That something seemed to be you.

But like every good that happened to him, he managed to fuck this up too. Not at first, but definitely in the end. 

And he tried. He tried to become a better person. Tried to become the man you deserved, not listening to you when you told him that he did not have to become a better person.

That you fell for him the way he was. With all flaws he thought he had.

But maybe if he had worked on himself he wouldn’t have reacted so poorly when you told him that you were pregnant.

Maybe he wouldn’t have blamed you and you only, taking the easy way out and telling you he would not go through this again.

He should have talked to you, instead of lashing out, should have told you how fucking scared he was about losing another child. About losing you. About raising a child in this fucked up world. About fucking up.

He did so anyway.

He chose to forget about the whole conversation the two of you had after you told him that you were pregnant and that you were intending to keep it from his mind. Or he tried. God, did he try.

But now, deep in the night, when he was laying awake and alone in bed, only the shadows of the night in his company, the words he spat to hurt you creeped back into his mind, not that they had ever been gone.

I don’t love you.

Get rid of it.

Get out of my life.

I never loved you anyway. 

He could still see the way your face crumbled, tears running down your cheeks. 

He broke you that night. And he broke himself. 

He thought about this last argument, this breakup a lot if he was honest with himself.

He never told you, not in words, how much he loved you. He took you for granted. He shouldn’t have been this surprised to learn that you had left the QZ days after he broke you. 

Not a day went by that he wondered what happened to you.

If you were alive.

If you kept the baby.

Would it have your eyes and his hair?

A boy or a girl?

Where they as stubborn as Sarah was?

Did you still love him as much as he still loved you?

Shaking his head he took a sip from the surprisingly good beer someone had offered him when he came here, his eyes wandering through the room, sneaking glances at Ellie who smiled at Dina, deep in conversation with the other girl.

Sucking his bottom lip in, his hand flexing on his side as he tried to find the courage to walk over to Ellie and ask her if they could talk, again, when he heard laughter behind him.

Laughter he heard before, a long time ago.

A laugh he heard in his dreams when his mind allowed him to dream about you instead of the nightmares that plagued him. 

Narrowing his eyes he tried to remember why he was hearing that laugh, why that voice that spoke in low tones now, made his heart flutter, when he saw Tommy walk towards him in a fast pace, his face worried.

“Joel,” he said but Joel wasn’t listening to him.

He was busy preparing for a breakdown that was creeping slowly into his body. 

Joel’s heart seemed to make the connection before his brain did, heart beating widely in his chest as he slowly turned around, his brother’s hand on his shoulder to keep him for turning. He shrugged it off with a grunt, bracing himself to be let down, that he was finally turning insane and imagining you when his eyes landed on you.

Blinking his eyes in disbelief he released a shaky breath when you were still there. 

You were sitting at one of the picnic tables, still as beautiful as he remembered a small smile on your face. A man had his arm wrapped around your back and in your lap sat a girl not older than five who had your eyes and his brown curls.

His heart stopped, he was sure of it.

“She got in yesterday. You were on patrol, I was trying to find you and tell you but….” Joel heard his brother say, but he ignored him.

You were here.

You were here.

And you were alive.

And you had a girl sitting in your lap that was….

His eyes widened when you leaned back and he saw a little boy sitting in the lap of the man next to you that looked like a mini copy of Joel himself.

His chest felt heavy.

Closing his eyes he tried to take deep breaths, but he just couldn’t.

This was too much.

This hurt too much.

This was the happiest he ever was.

“Joel?” he heard his name from his side, Ellie looking down at him worriedly as he pressed his hand against his chest, his eyes watering.

This was the first time she had talked to him in weeks and it might as well be the last time from the way he felt right now.

He was having a panic attack.

But it felt so much worse than it had ever before.

Looking away from Ellie he turned his head back towards you, finding you now looking at him with wide eyes.

“Deep breaths brother,” a strong arm came to pull him up and his frantic eyes found Tommy’s.

“In and out,” he said, trying to calm down his brother. Joel’s hands grabbed his brothers shoulders. Trying to mimic the way he was breathing but couldn’t.

“Joel?” he heard your voice, his head now turning towards you, finding you looking at him worriedly.

Joel shook his head, dark spots at the corner of his eyes.

“You’re here,” was the last thing he whispered before he passed out.

[liliannadelaphinehartifelt]

Alastor - [DEVOTION…. Pt. 2]

xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxx

[ NSFW ] + [ MDNI ] + [ SLIGHT AGE GAP ] + [ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ] + [ BREEDING KINK ] + [ MENTIONS OF BLOOD & GORE ]

xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxx

Beautiful days weren't uncommon in New Orleans.

They frequently occurred -even more so during the late summer months in the swamped countryside- where you now found yourself traveling through alongside your husband.

Alastor had decided it was high time both of you visited your recently conjoined families. His mother constantly asked to see you again, calling twice a week like clockwork to check on her darling son and his ever-so-sweet wife, and you appreciated her sincere affection.

You missed visiting her in person, learning things from her, and observing how much adoration she had for Alastor..

In a sense, she'd raised you like her own daughter, taking the place of your mother, who'd passed before you'd even taken your first steps. Your father was adamant a 'fever' took her, but Alastor's mother always hinted at a force greater than unfortunate health having to do with it.

You'd never thought to ask what she meant, trusting her wise and kind words wholeheartedly since Alastor was your only friend, but curiosity did plague your thoughts from time to time.

Her passing was a tragedy you could barely remember….

However, it was in the past, your mother was gone with your childhood, and you were now in the present -married to a man you never wished to part from…

Even more so now that he'd revealed how truly devoted he was to you and you alone…

“….I feel much more than love for you, my dear. Devotion is a better term…obsession at times…”

Those words of his rang loud and clear in your head for days on end, making your heart flutter ten times harder than it usually did when he was near and coaxing a particular passion for making him happy out of you at every opportunity given.

Your infatuation had grown into undeterred loyalty and in your opinion he deserved every bit of it.

Alastor worked tirelessly to further his career. Reaping the benefits of such hard work through copious amounts of money and awards from various admirers.

He'd perfected so many things to reach that point, hiding his natural down home drawl with a perfect transatlantic accent -you found both charming but preferred the first. Although, you understood why he’d mastered the ladder accent, and never insisted upon him disregarding it.

It was what made his character, brought the masses running back for more each time he was on air, and what kind of wife would you be if you asked him to refute all the admiration for simple and selfish reasons?..

He wasn’t home often enough to have such conversations in the first place…

Alastor was no stranger to working late into the evening, writing script after script past midnight at the station, and only returning home when he was sure his manuscripts were crystal clear.

That’s what you were made to believe he was doing anyway.

Alastor made sure of that.

In your eyes he was perfect, hardworking, and utterly perfect…

Not the merciless, flesh hungry, murder that’d been stalking the streets of New Orleans for almost six consecutive months…

To your knowledge Alastor had no flaws, no deep, dark secrets you felt the need to uncover, and certainly not a man with a tainted sense of morality you couldn't fully trust.

He ensured your view of him remained spotless, devoid of bloodthirst or cruelty.

You were too innocent for it, too pure to know what he'd done and continued to do for the sake of self-satisfaction, but there is always a time for truths to come to light…

Nevertheless, Alastor strived to make sure that time never came…

So, when the city became on edge, being put under a curfew by law enforcement in hopes of slowing the occurrence of his murders, and the number of police patrols significantly increased, Alastor decided a nice…long…relaxing vacation to the countryside would be an excellent idea.

Nothing suspicious about the idea at all…

You were ecstatic about the trip, rushing to pack things for the both of you the very evening he mentioned it, and Alastor was genuinely pleased to see you so excited.

You were painfully unaware of his true motives…so willing to spend time with him and leave the fear-induced city behind…

Oh, how he loved it…you and your gentle, naive nature…

Truly, a warm-hearted belle safe and sound in his bloodstained grasp.

He almost felt guilty, looking at you now, taking your first bare footsteps into the dewy summer grass surrounding his mother's home. Your eyes lit up like the high noon sun shining down on you both, soft lips pulled into a satisfied smile as you reacquainted yourself with fresh summer air, "God, I missed this.." you whispered to yourself as the comforting wind blew through your hair.

Alastor laughed softly, smile ever present as you did a twirl in the grass before looking at him over your shoulder, "Well, aren't you gonna join me, Al? Or am I gonna have to get a hug from your mother first?"

He narrowed his eyes, smile softening at the mention of her, "First? My dear, are you askin' for a race?"

You grinned, giggling as you shrugged playfully while walking backward towards the pathway leading to his mother's home, "Only if you're agreeing to one, honey.." you respond cheekily.

Your husband could never resist a challenge.

Ever.

You’d realized that very early on in your time with him, using it to your advantage more often than he realized.

Getting your way with Alastor was a special skill unique to you and not a soul else…

A smirk tugged at your lips as Alastor pushed off from leaning against the car, rolling his sleeves up as he strode towards you, "Daring, little thing, aren't you?" He teased, having to yell as you spun on your heel and took off without warning.

You let out a laugh, hearing him give chase, only a meter behind you in less than three seconds, and his subtle chiding at your attempt at cheating urging you to beat him.

"Looks like I'll beat you, dearest!" He boasts, drawing nearer to you within seconds, but hesitating to pass you by as he took in the sight of your white cotton dress riding higher up your thighs as you ran.

A delectable view for him in more ways than one…

Alastor couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen such a carefree and angelic sight. Nor, did he want to when you were right in front of him.

You scoffed at his teasing, oblivious to Alastor’s longing stare as you hiked up the front hem of your dress to hop over a fallen tree branch, but when you landed, he was at your side -a smirk already sneaking its way onto his face as you shot him a surprised glance.

When had he gotten so fast?…

You weren't sure, but Alastor had always been more physically fit than most, so you merely tried to keep up with him as the end of the path approached.

He beat you by five feet at least, but you were in too much of a giggle fit to notice. "You cheated!" You chirped, faking a pout as he leaned against one of the dark timber poles that upheld the wrap-around porch. "I was only beating you at your own game, ma chère… fair is fair." Alastor flashed you a grin, pushing his glasses to rest on top of his head before raising a hand to swipe the specks of dust that'd landed on his cheek during your short race.

You smiled at the rare, docile, boyish action. Alastor was never one to altogether drop his guard, so when moments like this occurred, you'd relish in it for as long as possible.

"Here, let me…" you spoke softly, still a little breathless after running but eager to help your husband. Alastor dropped his hand from his face, leaning down to make your reach for him less strenuous, and you smiled at the tiny habit.

He'd always considered your height difference, and your tummy fluttered at each implication of it.

Using the back of your dress sleeve, you carefully wiped at his cheek as he stared at you, allowing you to gingerly guide his face from side to side with your small hand cupping his jaw. "There, much better, monsieur.." you compliment him with a flirtatious drawl, admiring his dust free skin in the sunlight as a few strands of his wavy brown hair shifts over his eyes from the wind.

Alastor returns your admiration, gaze lowering to your lips when you speak and slowly rising again as you place the round glasses back on his face. "Thank you,'ma chère," he sighs gratefully, natural southern drawl shining through as he speaks, finding himself out of breathless as you stare up at him lovingly.

In all his life Alastor could count on one hand how many times an inkling of ‘love’ had trickled its way into his heart. You seemed to be a factor in at least half of those memories.

He deemed that fact more than enough reason to kill for you if fate ever dictated harm your way…

What man wouldn't spill a bit of blood for a woman that looks at him the way you are looking at him now..?

A lesser one, surely.

Alastor considered himself far from the definition of a lesser man..

“It’s my pleasure,” you mutter in response, shifting to step around him and knock on the door, but Alastor stops you by wrapping an arm around your waist, bringing you in close to gently kiss your nose, then your lips, and you return the intimate gesture on instinct.

He hums deep within his chest as your soft lips melt into his, grip tightening on your waist as he unconsciously glides his tongue along yours, and you successfully stifle a moan at the unexpected intrusion.

Was that….blood you tasted on him?…

You weren't given much time to register the iron residue mixed with the hints of black coffee you'd made for him that morning since the sound of a door swinging open startled you half to death before any connection could be made.

"Oh, well, would you get a look at you two!" Angelique Hartifelt beamed as she registered who was on her doorstep. Alastor immediately let you go, smiling wide as his mother tugged him into an airtight hug, and you blushed at the heartwarming sight.

"Hello, mother," Alastor mumbled into her dark curls, swaying her in his arms as she took him in, "My, you've grown baby…real successful too, I hear.." She laughed as he nodded, both clearly happy to see each other after so long, but she eventually pulled away from Alastor to turn her attention to you.

"Sweet girl… c'mere! God, you're just as pretty as a magnolia in May!" You had no time to reply as she hugged you tight, kissing your cheek while you giggled and greeted her politely, "You're too kind, Mrs. Hartifelt … It's nice to see you again! I've missed you dearly!"

She stepped back, grinning as wide as her son as she spun you around, "Don't be silly, honey! Married life becomes you! I missed seeing your lovely self, too. Maybe if Al stopped working so much, you'd have more time to stop by.." She gave him a playful glare, to which he flashed an apologetic smile.

"I'll try to remember that, Mother.." he tipped his head in understanding, and she swatted his arm lightly. "Oh, you know I'm only poking fun, baby. Come on inside, I wanna hear about the two of you…"

She paused, ushering you in the door first with a knowing smile, "…and if I have any grandchildren on the way." Her jest made you turn bright red, but her lighthearted laughter that followed eased your nerves.

However, Alastor's face fell for a moment as she said it, the two of you sharing a strange stare as Angelique closed the behind her and whisked past you both to lead the way into the kitchen.

It was only for a split second, but you could've sworn Alastor looked…

Hopeful…?

Or rather, genuinely affected by the mention of having a child with you…

The complex expression vanished from his face just as quickly as it appeared, his gaze shifting from you to his mother as she set a pitcher of sweet tea and a plate full of cookies out, and you instantly focused on the dish of sweets as the sugary smell invaded your nose.

You were here to enjoy her company, get away from the world and its burdensome worries, and overthinking Alastor’s every reaction wouldn’t be a good start to that….

Besides, her sweets were always your favorite; she'd shown you how to bake, and you attributed most of your cooking skills to her teaching. Alastor had also picked up a great deal of culinary tricks from her, and it became another hobby you two bonded over during childhood.

"Those look amazing, Mrs. Hartifelt," you flashed her a smile, humming as you pretended to swoon over them, and she laughed at your slight dramatics. "I suspected you'd stop by, so I made your favorite, honey. Come on, sit!"

"Don't mind if I do," you chirped and sat next to her at the modestly round dining table; she poured you both a glass of sweet tea before looking over at Alastor expectantly. "That means you too," she gently scolded his standoff-ish behavior, watching as he took a seat on her unoccupied side and patting his cheek in gratitude as he did.

Alastor leaned into her touch, mumbling an apology for not accompanying her sooner, "I got lost in thought, is all…" he clarified in a soft chuckle, and she nodded in understanding.

"Mmm, really, what about?"

His gaze shifted to you again, and your body momentarily froze as he stared while answering his mother, "How much I love you…that’s all.”

Whether he meant to direct the phrase towards you or his mother was unclear, but your chest tightened, and your head filled with fog nonetheless.

How could he still manage to make you so unsteady within the simplest efforts and gestures?…

Alastor held your gaze for a minute longer, forgetting where he was presently, but his self induced trance vanished as his mother spoke again.

"I see you still haven’t lost your charm to the big city. That radio show must keep you on your toes, then.."

He nodded, laughing gently at his mother's teasing, "I wouldn’t dream of it, and my audience expects the best, so I must deliver."

She nods, humming as her chocolate eyes drift towards you, "And how is my lovely son treating you, sweetheart? Well, I presume?"

You could hear the hint of curiosity in her tone, light but underlying seriousness in her question. It was no secret to her that Alastor had…certain tendencies, but those were reserved for people who deserved it, and you'd never been deemed deserving.

She hoped it remained that way…

To her inner relief, you answered her with the broadest smile and happiest tone, "Oh, of course! I couldn't have asked for a better husband! You raised him well..a true gentleman, Mrs. Hartifelt."

Alastor smirked, reveling in your praise, unbothered by his mother eyeing him carefully before she gave you a pleasant response, "I'm glad to hear that. You're still sweet on him too…just like when you were little."

You blushed, taking a ginger bite of one cookie while nodding, "Mhm.."

Why you became nervous when your childlike crush on Alastor was brought up was a mystery, but you couldn't help it since both of your families saw your subtle pining for him day in and day out.

"Speaking of 'little'…" his mother sat straight, arms crossed over her chest as she glanced at the both of you, "When are you two gonna give me a grandbaby to look after. I'm not getting any younger, Al.."

That look crossed his face again, but his smile remained.

You, however, nearly choked on your sweet treat, but luckily managed not to make an utter fool of yourself. A minor cough and a quick sip from your glass eased your mishap.

Angelique patted your back gently, laughing softly at your reaction, "Honey, I'm only kidding… there's no rush." Her reassurance was genuine, but unbeknownst to her, Alastor had breached the subject already.

Albeit in the heat of a very intense and lust-driven moment.

"Ma chère," Alastor rose from his chair, slight concern on his face as he came to kneel by your chair, "…are you alright?"

You nodded slowly, smiling softly at him before huffing out, "M' fine…no need to worry.." he nodded in return, standing to his feet to address her implications.

"We'll see what the future holds, Mother, but as of now, are we welcome to your hospitality for a few days?"

He knew she'd say 'yes' but made it a habit to ask.

Alastor maintained impeccable manners, just as she'd taught him to have, and it brought a proud glint to Angelique’s eyes.

"Now, Al, why would I ever say no to that. You two stay as long as you want!"

You tipped your head in gratitude, "Thank you, Mrs. Hartifelt.."

She scoffed, placing her hand over one of yours before leaning in close as if to tell you a secret Alastor shouldn’t hear.

"Even after all these years and being married to my boy, you're still so polite, Y/n. The world won't burn to a crisp if you call me 'mother' sweetheart."

She kissed your temple, and your heart melted at the tender gesture, "We are family, after all."

That was true…

"I suppose you're right, Mrs- I mean mother." You tripped over the words, so used to being formal but enjoying the new arrangement.

It felt natural enough.

"Look how easy that was!" Angelique patted your hand assuredly, stood from her seat, and began to clear the table.

There was no doubt in your mind that Alastor got his charm from her….

Your revelation was cut short as she absentmindedly spoke to you again, "Pay your father a visit before you settle in. I'm sure he'd like to see you…he comes by often asking about you two a lot these days.."

You stiffened at the mention of your father, recalling the last time you'd seen him.

Exactly a year ago.

The day you married Alastor…

After that, you'd barely spoken to him, not because you wished for distance but because he'd established it.

Your father may have agreed to your marriage with Alastor, but he only partially warmed up to your husband. He'd looked upon him with a hidden distaste from the very beginning of your friendship.

"Something's off about that boy…" he’d say.

Then proceed to warn you of a danger that never existed in your opinion. "You be careful around him…real careful.."

When he realized your attraction to Alastor his nagging only worsened, "He's a charmer…those are never good for anything. You remember that."

For years, his assumptions of Alastor irked you to no end; it perplexed you why he even married you off to him, but whenever you'd search for answers, he'd give the same vague answer.

"That boy isn't what he seems. Never has been and never will be.."

Frustrating as he was, you could never bring yourself to hate him for it, but the thought of having to endure his morbid company wasn’t comforting at all.

Alastor recognized the distress in your gentle features, your bright eyes narrowing at the tabletop, and your hands wringing around each other nervously.

All because of him.

Mr. L/n...

The one man who seemed to get a clue as to who and what Alastor was without anything other than a so-called ‘gut feeling’.

Alastor had tried for years to mask his true nature from him, but your father saw right through him at every encounter.

He had been and still was Alastor’s worst agitation…

Such a bothersome fool…

Your husband averted his oncoming glare to the nearest wall before wiping the disdain off his face, and reaching a hand out to caress your back. You relaxed under his firm touch, looking up to him as his thumb rubbed soothing circles into your spine, "It'll only be a short visit, my dear. We'll have the whole weekend after that…"

His smile eased your fretting, leading you to nod and smile back. "Alright… y-you'll come with me, yes?"

Absolutely not-

Alastor inwardly hushed his shadow demon, tipping his head in warning to the spectrum and forcing it to hold its tongue before it overrode his consciousness.

His smile widened, the hand on your back sliding up to cup your cheek, "Of course, mon chere. I wouldn't dream of letting you go alone.."

We should-

His shadow attempted to cut in again, but Alastor withheld its advance with a simple command.

Hush up. Now…

Fortunately, it ceased all communication, and his focus on you went unhindered.

You stood from your chair, rising on your tiptoes to peck his lips with your own, whispering against them before you pulled away.

"Thank you… Sometimes I dont know what I'd do without you…"

Alastor cursed the sharp pang that penetrated his heart as you said those words, an eerie sense of Deja vu hitting him in waves, but the uneasy feeling never showed on his face -not until you thanked his mother one last time before flurrying upstairs to freshen up.

Angelique felt her son’s mood shift, intuition leading her to ask him what was on his mind, "Something wrong?.."she mumbles calmly without ceasing in her task of cleaning.

Alastor remained silent for a long moment, watching as his mother moved on to pulling out ingredients to cook for dinner, and when she turned to face him entirely, he found the sense to speak.

"It's gettin' worse…" he confessed through a tight-lipped smile, leaning back against a wall to keep his composure, and she needed no other clues to figure out his cause for distress.

"The killing' or the magic?" She inquires, back to him, and but her voice laced with evident care.

"Both. It's getting to me..bad…more frequently.." he confesses.

Angelique hums in understanding, "Have you been hunting at all these past few weeks?.."

Alastor took his glasses off, breath coming out strained as his eyes shifted from their usual whiskey color to a redder hue.

"No. Not since…" he falters, gritting his teeth as his unruly spectral companion cut into his train of thought.

Not since you fucked her-

"I said shut the hell up…" Alastor seethed out loud, eyes screwing shut as his shadow danced onto the wall, yet his mother remained unphased by the sudden outburst.

She merely peered at the taunting shadow, causing it to cower back in her son's tall frame, "Go hunting while you're here. That'll take the edge off, but get that spirit in check before you do, or it won't end well. You hear me?"

Alastor nodded, rolling his neck to alleviate the tension in his body before recapturing his shadow and flashing his mother an understanding smile.

Her advice was final, a direct warning to him, and it garnered a welcomed sense of control over his frazzled behavior.

His smile lost its crazed edge, drawing into a polite smirk as he peered at her expectantly.

"Do you happen to have my old hunting gear lying around?.."

She turned towards the stove, not affected by his sudden personality switch by any means, and simply motioned a hand upstairs before answering him, "In your father's old study. Right where you left it, behind the bookshelf…."

Alastor perked up, grinning wide as the memory of his last hunting spree crossed his mind, "Merci, mother." He thanked her, walking over to kiss her cheek before exiting the homely kitchen while humming a new tune as he strode up the steps with newfound confidence.

Tonight, he'd look for prey…

How he'd satiate his shadow's pesky intrusions was a matter he'd have to solve later.

Although, if the way it constantly became hyperactive at the mere mention or sight of you had anything to do with it Alastor was certain you were the solution to the problem.

+++++

The visit with your father went as you expected it to go.

He welcomed you with open arms and a tender smile, but when he saw Alastor climbing the marble steps of your family’s estate, his cordial behavior waned.

“I see you’ve brought him along…” he made no effort to hide the distaste in his tone as Alastor reached your side.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again as well Mr, L/n…” Your husband remained polite as always, masking his hatred for the man with a practiced facade of kindness.

Alastor became more affectionate towards you in his presence, going so far as to kiss the top of your head and wrapping an arm around your waist protectively, making every effort to keep you close throughout the tense reunion.

Your father clearly did not take a liking to his indirect aggravations it at all…

Yet, he said nothing on the matter, cutting your visit short with the tired excuse of having an 'important engagement' he needed to attend to.

So, in under an hour of resisting your childhood home, you found yourself walking back through the secret trail you and Alastor had paved years ago to commute across, and with each step, you felt more at ease.

You weren't quick to anger, but your father's jabs towards Alastor never ceased to ruin your mood. Thankfully, your husband seemed more eclectic than when you'd arrived in the countryside, and that, in turn, brightened your previously somber spirits.

Alastor held your arm under his as the two of you trekked along the path, going over small hills, thin creeks, and finally through a line of forestry bordering his mother's home.

The sun was beginning to set as you entered the forest end of your journey. The warm summer wind becoming a bit chilly as it whipped through the large willow and evergreen trees. Alastor kept you close, better acquainted with the woods than you were, but not because he'd memorized the path from childhood.

No, his memory of it stemmed from the many bloody escapades he'd enjoyed there and intended to continue sooner rather than later…

All for a rush, for the flesh, for the undisputed thrill.

Even now he couldn't stop grinning, thinking about it, failing to dampen his excitement as he led you both through the darkening woods.

You glanced up at him, happy to see Alastor so content despite your awful encounter with your father, "I apologize for him… he's…" you paused, trying to find the right words to describe your father's behavior, but he beat you to it with a gentle laugh.

"A cynical old man who believes that I'm no good for you?"

His voice held an edge, but you took the comment as playful heat and not as a harmful insult the way Alastor intended it to sound.

You couldn’t blame him for feeling spiteful about the whole ordeal…

He had every right to be unnerved…

A tender sigh slipped past your lips, and you nodded in agreement as he glanced down at you, "A spot-on depiction…not a pretty one either.." Alastor chuckled, shaking his head dismissively as he reassured you he took no offense to your father's dislike of him.

Though it was somewhat justified.

"Don't you worry yourself about him, my dear. I have you, and he can do nothing about it…"

Not a fucking thing…

You peered up at Alastor, noting the unwavering smile on his face as he spoke, but the glare in his eyes said he felt anything but indifference about the situation.

That worried you…scared you a little…

"Al…" you whispered, halting in your tracks and causing him to do the same. Your brows furrowed as he lowered his head, his breaths becoming heavy as his hold on your arm grew harder, but not enough to harm you.

His smile only grew as you muttered again, "Alastor, …look at me…" your words as tender as ever as you turned on your heel to face him head-on.

Alastor's eyes twitched as you came close, flashing red when you cupped his face with both hands and dipped your head to gain proper eye contact with him.

Concern was written all over you face…

You tried to decipher Alastor’s expression, ignoring the chill running down your spine as his gaze hardened while the air around you grew stiffer by the second.

Was he angry?

It felt as if he were but something in his unwavering stare told you this emotion surpassed that, and you couldn't deny how intensely it radiated off him as he slowly tilted his head at you.

Possessiveness.

Pure, unbridled need for dominance.

Whether it was over you or his state of mind remained unclear as he took a step forward. You made no effort to back away, letting Alastor tower over you, and not once breaking eye contact with him.

“Alastor…you can tell me-“

The comforting words died on your tongue when he jerked you into his chest, large hands finding your wrists as the heated kiss he initiated silenced the surprised yelp that left your lips as they melded with his.

You eyes drifted shut as he deepened the exchange, gradually relenting your body control over to him as he guided your arms to wrap around his neck. Alastor shifted his hold on your wrists to trace down your sides, the ghost like touch sending a shock through you immediately.

He smiled at your skittish reaction, oddly calmer than he was a moment before as he dared to pull similar responses from you. His skilled tongue delved into you mouth, inviting yours to play along while he leveraged his larger frame against your smaller one. You obediently stepped back as he pressed forward, subtly flinching as your backside hit the bark of the nearest tree, yet the scratch of wood on your covered skin failed to bother you as the kiss became feverish.

Desperate…

Alastor was desperate for something…

For what you weren’t certain, unable to think straight when he had you pinned against a decaying evergreen, stealing your breath away with ease, only pulling away from your lips to catch his own breath.

You quietly panted for air as well, blood rushing to your head from the sound of his have breathing mixing with the distant chirps of crickets harmonizing alongside buzzing cicadas.

The wind seemed to lose its chill as it passed between the nonexistent space separating you both.

Alastor held you still in that moment, one hand at the back of your neck to keep your head raised towards his, and the other resting under your chin. His thumb traced over your now spit slick lips, brown eyes following the slight tremble in them as you continued to pant for air.

Oh, how he adored your eagerness to please him. Always so desperate for more of him and never quite aware of your own greediness for his undivided affection.

“What is there for me to tell you, ma chère…?” The words thundered in his chest, almost a low hum in the midst of the surrounding wilderness, but you heard him clear enough.

“How you truly feel….whats behind that smile you fight so hard to maintain.” You gulp down the anxiety trying to creep its way into your tone, inhaling sharply as he pushed a knee between your thighs, and your train of thought came to a halt feeling him put pressure on your thinly covered cunt.

You knew the gesture was a from of distraction on his part, an attempt to avert your attention from the uneasy shift in his mood, and though you wanted to push him back and demand he take your concerns seriously…

The building heat in your core advised otherwise, overriding your urge to coax an explanation from Alastor with the need to be filled by him instead, and the growing amount of stars in your eyes as he continued to toy with your body made it all the more obvious to him.

“I assure you I’m quite alright, darling“ Alastor remained true to his previous claim, smiling softly as your eyes lidded over while your hips tentatively began to rock over his thigh at a sluggish pace, and your hands unraveling from his neck to trail down his chest. The linen fabric of his shirt cooled your burning fingertips, keeping your focus clear enough for another hushed whisper to leave your lips, “Tellin’ me not lie to you but then turning around and doing it yourself…”

You paused, holding his gaze as your tongue darted out to lick at his thumb teasingly, “How is that fair, Alastor, hm?…” your voice remains quiet, the taste of his skin lingering on the tip of your tongue as the questions hangs in the air around you, and it seems to hit a nerve in him.

A flash of red illuminates his irises, smile stretching wide across his face at your seductive actions and reprimanding remarks, “Fair? Is that what you want from me, mon chere? A fair bit of truth?”

His shadow itched to enlarge, wanting nothing more than to show itself to you, and intake the delirious reaction you’d surely have to seeing its monstrous form.

Although, Alastor kept it at bay, settling with trailing the hand on your neck to tangle through your hair, tugging it just rough enough to earn a soft gasp from you, and that action alone hard your inside twisting with anticipation.

You knew he’d never harm you, never lift a finger to imply harsh treatment, but the thrill of finally experiencing a hidden side of your husbands persona had your heart racing and your cunt throbbing.

“Yes…” you whimper compliantly, hands fisting the collar of his dress shirt to tug him closer, and Alastor growled at the aggressive action.

“Careful what you ask for, sweet girl…” he warns you through gritted teeth, tempted to kiss you again as an airy giggle leaps from your mouth, “And what if I refuse to be?”

Fuck, I need her…we need her…

His shadow twitched, writhing in the waning light of the sun at your taunting, and embodying every ounce of excitement the man before you struggled to contain as the heat of your cunt gliding over his thigh persisted with every gentle buck of your hips against him.

Alastor felt his blood run hot as you pried at his self control, the corner of your lips pulling up into a knowing smile as he stared at you hungrily, and not a single drop of apprehension present in your gaze as he lowered his head to whisper in your ear.

“Then I suppose I’m left with no other choice than to remind you what happens to curious little cats, my dear…”

xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxx

Idk if I hate or love this chapter…like I’m so used to writing smut that writing angst or fluff feels so dreadful to me. Plus, you guys liked the first part so much I didn’t want to fuck this up…I promise the next part is pure smut and gore lol. This was essentially a filler part (I’m sorry)… ❤️ also did you guys catch the Princess and the Frog reference I threw in?!? If you did then I freakin adore you hehehe ❤️

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

I’d cry, scream, fucking beg for this man…it’s fucking ridiculous how much I love him tbhhhh ❤️ credit to creator

[ohmycale]

I read your argument post and I read the same opinions online. I would like to ask if you considered that Deruth might have hestitant to communucate his feelings because he mught lose his relationship with Cale. I agree with the opinions that communication is important but shouldnt Cale also communicate his father?

Also, you cant deny that Cale wasnt the best person in his version in the story. He was called a trash for a reason.

I also feel that you keep Violan, Basen and Lily out? Do you not consider them as Cale's family? Why or why not?

Anyway, interested on what you think

My take on this:

Deruth is the adult. Cale is the child. It doesnt matter how many times have passed. That is their relationship and their dynamic. It is the duty of the adult/parent to care for the child and assume all the heavy lifting in the relationship until Cale himself is an adult. The main reason is that in the end, it is the adult/Deruth who brought Cale into this world and is tasked to guide said Cale - not the other way around. And Deruth's problems or flaws will affect Cale no matter what. I also like to highlight that almost all power and authority resides in Deruth as a parent and adult in all ways - good or bad.

ETA: There is a line in Sekiro by the last boss - Hesitation is defeat. It's fine to hesitate - as long there is also an acceptance of the risk with the choice. In this case, the growing gap and distance between the two, the continuation of resentment or other negative feelings Cale has for the relationship. While distant is not yet formed as full rejection here, constant isolation and uneasiness in the relationship are good ingredients to maybe a permanent no contact with each other in the future. TLDR - Hesitate at your own risk.

re:Cale communicaitng. Sure, Cale can talk. The issue is - is he comfortable enough with his relationship with Deruth to actually communicate his true feelings? Deruth distanced himself and Cale would have definately felt that. Deruth was given a wide berth due to his grief and his remarriage - assuming it helped him cope in his roles. But his relationship with Cale never did recover pre-Jour's death because rifts and gaps formed during the distance. So, if there are already gaps and issues, do you think Cale would be comfortable bringing his concerns without being accused of destroying/delaying Deruth's happiness? If this is the case, shouldnt be the parent/adult be the one who gives reassurance, love and all those things that help them reconcile and their relationship grow? Or is it another burden for the child who has to hide his own authentic self because he already experienced being isolated and hurt from the person who is supposed to give him unconditional love?

2nd question - He wouldnt need to be a trash if his own father protected his new family over the status he inherited.

For the third question - Violan and her children are his stepfamily. Deruth chose them for himself - not for Cale. Stepfamily dynamics are complex and way more complicated vs bio/nuclear family. There are many issues but I would say that Cale cared for them because his father brought them in Cale's life. One argument (reflected in real life) is since they made Deruth happy, Cale should be happy that his father is happy because of them. In a morbid sense, it can implied that post-Jour, Cale wasnt able to give his father happiness or him being enough for Deruth to move on from grief (not that he is supposed to in the first place). In way, Cale deserves them than his father but his link to them is very weak. The Henituse is a classic high-functioning dysfunctional blended family.

I know many people hate the prefix of 'step' and 'half' - but in the 10yrs that this family has been doing, there has been no evidence they came together or act as one unit. It's always Cale or Deruth + Violan (& OFC Basen and Lily). Violan will side by her husband and take Deruth's lead (wrongly or rightly) because she did marry him (you dont marry children, I cant fathom why she did marry this man but I digress) and Basen and Lily would side with their parents. So, I dont think they are a family - they are people who live in the same place and trying to get along like roommates. Besides, it seems that Deruth + Cale isnt considered as a family in its own right.

Hope this satisfies your interest and ask away again if I left out something...

[snowyh2o]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7&8 Spoilers:

Ok, ok. I’ve finally calmed down a bit. I have. SO many thoughts on Alastor, that I’m just not gonna touch on them in this post, aside from I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS LOSING IT FBSKDNFBSHHDHFBS.

But what I wanna focus on is Rosie! And how she’s been described as the nicest overlord. And how Cannibal Town is like, the nicest place we’ve seen in hell??? The streets are relatively clean, no one is trynna kill each other. There’s so many people out on the streets, just? Going about their days? Aside from the fact that they’re all cannibals, it’s almost like any other town you’d visit! (I am not familiar enough with the fashion styles over the years to like, accurately date what time period Cannibal Town is supposed to reflect, but it feels old (and somewhere Alastor would fit right in with) lol).

And then we actually meet with Rosie, and she’s in the middle of consulting one of her people, where there’s a HUGE line up of others looking like they’re waiting to consult with her too! And like, even before she spoke with Charlie about her love life, she’s giving advice and comfort and support and connecting to the lady she’s speaking with who apparently wants to eat her husband. Before saying that she’ll set the man straight if the lady sends him to her, and gives her a card if she ever needs any more help.

Like. First minute into seeing Rosie and like. WOW. You can IMMEDIATELY tell that this is the reason why everyone in Cannibal Town’s so chill and happy? Why there’s such a sense of order and security in a place that’s basically just anarchy?

Rosie is both the Overlord, the unofficial mayor, the therapist and consultant and your best friend all wrapped up into one. She’s got an entire lineup of people who are waiting to tell her their woes and listen to her advice. And she’s happy to help!

Even the actual cannibalism is like, so posh and proper? Or it’s treated in Cannibal Town as like, normal food. But also it’s very telling that no one’s killing each other for said cannibalism. In fact, the only times we’ve seen them do so is after an extermination, when there’s a bunch of dead bodies that aren’t reviving lying around. (And they seem to lose their manners when eating then) It is likely tho that they just, target outsiders, since everyone we saw aside from Alastor and Charlie were a part of Cannibal Town.

Just the Juxtaposition of a town literally full of Cannibals being probably THE nicest place in hell for sinners to live in??? Immaculate.

Also, Rosie’s snide comment on how Alastor’s got no manners when it comes to being offered food LOL. And, I just LOVE their relationship and interaction. First time chatting in years and she’s already offering up place with a deal for Alastor to go make. That AMAZING little joke about him being Ace and having it COMPLETELY flying over his head. Alastor letting her touch him, and how genuinely excited and happy the two of them are just talking and interacting. Their little duet in the middle of the song, the way Rosie pulls Alastor out of his scheming to just enjoy the moment. Their dance!!! She’s never been wronged by Alastor before!!! She trusts him to follow through on his side of the unofficial bargain/favor. Looking like proud parents when Charlie finds the courage to sing her pitch. I love, everything about these two, oh my god.

Anyways!!! Back to Rosie being just, a genuinely good aunt? And giving so much good advice for Charlie. Asking her the questions that needed to be asked. Rosie has, such good insight? On what the issue was, and why Vaggie would’ve kept something from her. She didn’t shy away from how big the secret was, but she also didn’t let Charlie spiral into questioning every little part of their relationship. And that little end but when she’s saying that Vaggie is flawed, but so is everyone else down in hell. GAWD. How it’s difficult to admit your regrets. Like, if that isn’t the core of the show, the core of Charlie’s dream, then I don’t know what is. Rosie cut through to the heart of the matter, she didn’t tell Charlie what she should feel or how she should act, but asked her what she’s actually feeling, and why, and told her to trust herself and her own judgement on if Vaggie’s actions were sincere or not. Man she’s such a good therapist.

(I’m half convinced Alastor didn’t just bring Charlie to Cannibal Town and see Rosie just because they needed support and numbers to fight against the exorcists, but also because she’s the best person he knows who can give out good relationship advice and he’s getting a little tired of Charlie venting at him. Especially now that she’s past the self loathing phase and has stepped into the unrestrained anger and frustration at someone else phase)

Also, unrelated topic but here’s a thought: only angel steel/holy weapons/powers can do permanent damage to someone’s body/soul. Vaggie’s eye is torn out by Lute’s exorcist blade, but her wings were just ripped off by hand. Vaggie’s eye never regenerated or recovered, but she was able to regrow her wings. Alastor was struck by Adam’s holy weapon across his chest. What if the injury never fully recovers?

And also, Alastor’s talk about “unclipping” his wings. My friend, once a bird’s wings are clipped they can’t be unclipped! You have to wait for the feathers to shed and grow in new ones. To regenerate. Also what is this talk about you having wings??? Don’t tell me you’re ALSO a secret angel??? Probably not cause your blood is red BUT. Where are you hiding those supposed clipped wings of yours eh?!

[lookingfts]

i was going through my fav fics and realized “that in love and death, we don’t decide” is yours!! that is one of my personal top 5 kate and anthony fics ever!! i was wondering if we could get a glimpse of them with baby neddy?

It’s been seven years, but the memory is still so fresh.

Kate simply can’t see Anthony shirtless with Edmund hoisted over his shoulder, gentle little bounces to pacify him, without recalling him doing the same to Hyacinth so long ago. Sometimes she wonders if that’s the exact moment she fell in love with him.

Everything was so different then, so uncertain. Standing on fragile glass and praying it didn’t give way beneath them. Until it inevitably did.

But she and Anthony had found their way through it, found their way to being happier and healthier, found their way back to each other. And Kate was still grateful for it all these years later.

Children had never been the strongest of desires for her. Caring for Mary and Edwina had sapped her of her energy and made her afraid to take on responsibility for anyone else.

And Anthony had been terrified to have a child. Terrified to make his son or daughter suffer his brokenness, the same way he suffered Violet’s.

But they stopped taking on so many burdens for their families. They worked hard to heal their wounds and when Kate did eventually discover that she was pregnant, it was a happy thing.

When she had admitted, hesitantly, that she wanted to name him Edmund Ketan Sharma-Bridgerton, to commemorate the two men they loved and missed more than anything, Anthony sobbed almost alarmingly hard. Kate held him, her own tears soaking into his skin.

“Just so you know,” Kate says quietly, stepping into the nursery. “If I wasn’t so tired, this would make me very horny.”

Her husband cracks a crooked smile, his hand taking up the entire expanse of their son’s back as he rubs soft circles. “Rain check for when we’re not both sleep deprived.”

“Deal.” He extends an arm as she comes closer, and Kate burrows herself into him, Edmund tucked between their bodies. Her family. It’s still hard to believe, sometimes. “I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else. You know that, right?”

Anthony is quiet for a moment, and Kate takes over the duty of rubbing Edmund’s back as he starts to make gurgling noises. “I know,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “I only wanted kids with you. You’re perfect. The world needs more of you.”

Kate chuckles into his shoulder. She is absolutely not perfect, and neither is he, but she loves every inch of him, all his flaws and quirks included. And, impossibly, he does the same for her. “That night. You were just like this, holding Hy, and I didn’t think I wanted kids but – it was so hard to get that image out of my head. I started to think…maybe. And then you took me to bed and I wondered if you were thinking the same thing.”

He groans into her hair, a rough little noise from deep in his throat, and tightens his hold around her. “I was,” Anthony admits. “I saw a whole future with you in that moment. A future that I didn’t think I had any chance at, but I wanted it anyway. I’ve always wanted you.”

Heart aching at his beautiful words, Kate nuzzles into his neck. Anthony has never thought of himself as a poet, but he always knows how to break her apart with the simplest, sincerest expressions. “I’ve always wanted you, too.”

They savor the silence for a moment. Their hushed voices have soothed Neddy back to sleep, his face soft and peaceful. It’s rare they get this kind of quiet, lately.

She lets her eyes trail over him. He has Anthony’s endearingly large ears, and her eyes and nose and curls. He’s fussy like his Appa, frowny and pouty when he doesn’t get his way, and stubborn to the core like a Sharma.

Kate loves him so much it hurts.

“Thank you for him,” she sighs, swiping her thumb over her son’s soft head.

This is nothing like she used to imagine for herself. So much more than she ever thought she deserved, more than she thought she would be lucky enough to get. Certainly with someone as beautiful and brilliant and broken as Anthony.

But they’re here. And she was right. Together, they’ve created a life that suits them both quite wonderfully.

She’ll never completely shake the fear of everything slipping through her fingers again. But in a moment like this, the way she loves them seems eternal. Impervious to any force that might come for them.

“Thank you for him.” Anthony lays his head atop hers, his cheek against her temple, and everything in her feels utterly at peace. “Do you want to put him down and go back to bed?”

Kate simply tightens her arm around him, around Neddy. “In a little bit.”

[silent-raven13]

Miles' love

There's days when Miles is overwhelmed with the world, where his anxiety goes haywire and got him going through panic attacks. Sometimes he just needs someone to be comfortable with or be by himself. Mostly he either talks to his Hobie about personal issues, sometimes talk to his parents like stuff about school and relationship advices.

Now, many seem that Miles' is the princess type always being taken care of, always spoiled with love and being cherished like a rare gem. That may be true especially, with his punker boyfriend. Hobie had always shower his Sunflower with gifts, love, anything and everything to make sure he is happy.

But, this isn't about Miles being taken care- No, this is about Miles' being a supportive and loving partner.

Now, many would assume Hobie Brown is a punker without no issues or problems, except if he's being Spider-Punk. All Spider-Heroes have dealt with trauma and lost of their loved ones, and being a Hero- err, he doesn't believe in heroism, anyway, the struggle of protecting the innocent is already relatable with Spider-people.

However, not many knows he too have his own depression, which Miles have been very aware. it started when Hobie mentions his neglectful mother and absent father, how much he hated them for leaving such a dysfunctional family. The worst part being poor with so many siblings and trying to survive dealing with an alcoholic mother. One of the major cause of his depression when he sometimes looks over a happy family, seeing both parents loving their child can hit a nerve.

He always wanted to be loved, to be hold and often to question if he desire it. Sometimes he believe he's trash and desire to be tossed aside, because of his abusive mum's words cut him like a knife. Many think words don't bother him, it's because he had the biggest BULLY of all, his mother! Foul words have been thrown at him in such an early age that he could remember his mom sneered at how much he look a lot like his father or how ugly he is. The distasteful foul slurs she uses in spiteful hate on her children shows how bitter she became when her husband left them- her!

So yeah, he never found loving parents, and his siblings can only do so much. He always wanted to have a family that would love him. In honesty, he does get jealous at his friends' connection with their families. Of course, he loves and cherish the family he build! That's the whole point, a person create their own community, their own family with trust and love. Yet...

Ha, it's always that yet, funny?

The punker yearn to be loved, to be worth it. There's times he believe he give so much and in the end he believe he isn't worth of love. Isn't worth of being with his Sunflowers. Too flawed. Too messed up to be with his darling Miles. No, he sees how much Miles can do so much better than him- WAY BETTER!

Ganke would be perfect him.

Is always his final thoughts or many a bloke with money and kindness would be better for his Miles. These dark thoughts got him restless, spend days not sleeping well. Smoking, drinking and doing a bit of drugs would help numb the pain, and he would carefully to use a little.

Don't want to tweet out being a crackhead on the slums of New York in his world. He refuses that lifestyle, he almost went there and it was hell crawling back out especially without support.

The Punker sat on the edge of his boathouse having a smoke; a little cigarette. Days like this makes him crave for a cigarette. Just when the twenty year old tries to quit, it always comes back to him.

Miles is gonna hate me for this. Nah, he'll for sure leave. i don't deserve him. I don't deserve to be love...

He looks at the river seeing how calm it is.

Everyone is only friends with me because I don't give a shit. No one ask for my opinion or how I'me doing... I'm a shit person.

He sighs feeling his depression hitting hard.

Maybe I should call Miles- No, he doesn't want to see me like this.

He always prefer Hobie when he's cooler. The Punker believed his Sunflower wants him to be the rock, the wall that protects the two.

It's better if I just deal with this on my own.

He had trouble calling out for help, too. It's difficult for him to talk about his personal troubles rather making everything into riddles or jokes. It's a way to shield him off from the world and from his Sunflower. He knows he shouldn't, before he was about to go to his bedroom.

An orange portal opens up right in the middle of the boathouse, Miles jumps out looking at his partner. This time the nineteen year old took off his Spider-man mask to show a frown, to go over to hug him.

Hobie looked surprised for the moment, "Luv, what are you doing here?" He quickly tap his cigarette bud out.

His boyfriend hugs him tighter, "I had a feeling you weren't feeling well."

"How?"

"You're not the only that gone through this kind of stuff." Miles softly spoke, "I noticed yesterday you were quiet and distant like I was a virus. My Spider Senses been going off too. Hobie, what's wrong? You can talk to me." He kisses his Hobie's cheek, "Mi amor, please. I know, your going through with something."

"I..." The Punker frowns giving a sad puppy pout with his inky eyes looking teary then he sighs being silent.

Great, now he'll get mad and leave me. All because I don't want to bloody talk! Hobart, you are one fucking wanker!

Instead of Miles being upset with the answer, he completely understood. See, he had a feeling his boyfriend might be sensitive to talk about certain stuff, so he went to Dr. Sims for advice. Rather than demanding or expecting an answer so quick, it was best to be there to listen. Dr. Sims recommended to be patient. So Miles will, gladly being the partner his Moonflower needs.

Miles cup his punker's face pulling him into a gentle kiss on the lips. "Whatever you're going through, I'm here with you." He pulls him into another tight hug, "We don't have to talk, we can be quiet, snuggling together. You know, you have me to cry on. Take all the time you need, Hobie. I love you and I'm not leaving your side." Another kiss on the punker's cheek.

Hobie felt tears coming down his cheek as he sniffs. Miles wiped them away, and gave another kiss on his boyfriend's face. "Thanks, luv... I don't fucking deserve you." Hobie finally hugs his Sunflower tightly as he weeps to him. "Sorry...Sorry, luv. I just feel like shit today!"

Miles hugs him tighter, with his face being buries into Hobie's shoulder as he spoke, "Bae- mi alma, mi carińo! I love you, and everything about you that includes your flaws. We deserve each other! You're so worth it! I'm happy being with you." He took his boyfriends' face, again to say to his face, "Hobie Laurence Brown, I fucking love you! Your mine and I will never let you go!"

"Fuck, luv. You always have a way for words." Hobie gave a small smile through his cries, he sniffs before kissing his Sunflower. "You're my everything, luv. I just often think-" Miles cut his off, "Don't ever think like that! I will always be with you! You and me are soulmates, remember! You and I made a promise we riding this train till we die."

"Heh, you're right, luv. I just-" He buries his face into his Miles' chest to breaths in his scent. "I'm sorry..."

"Shh, it's okay. Come, I'll take you to your room! Did you eat anything? Had some water?" Miles picks his boyfriend up which caught the punker off guard. It's kinda funny seeing Miles being shorter than him picking him up like a girlfriend, especially when it's a hug carry style. Then again, Spider-man powers!

"Sweeping off me feet, Sunflower? To make me feel better..." Hobie jokes.

"We both know I wear the pants of this relationship!" Miles giggles as he happily carries his boo to his bedroom, so the two can cuddle and spend some quality time. This is the perfect time for Miles to show all his love, self care to his man, and cook for him! This is the perfect cure to making his Hobie feeling better. Everyone needs some self-care from time to time.

It wasn't long till Hobie his cuddling with his Sunflower on their bed having giggles and laughter in the room as they play with the electric guitar. Miles' love is always special to him, and he knows no one will never replace that!

[derekscorner]

Fated Rantings: Ground Zero

I finished Fate Zero

And what a ride that was. I don't even know where to start with all of this which shocks me because I went in knowing things would go to hell.

I started my whole Fate journey due to lore videos, curiosity and FGO so (just like the 2006 Fate Stay Night) I had a full grasp of what would happen. To be shocked anyway just goes to show that the cast and their dialogues sell this story.

There's a stark difference between hearing plot points and watching Gilgamesh slowly poke at Kirei's mentality. There's a difference between knowing that Blue Beard is summoned by a serial killer and seeing them discuss the nature of God.

And there's one hell of a difference between seeing memes of Iskander & Waver and seeing what is possibly the best bromance within Type-Moon.

I went into this expecting Saber to be a bit too idealistic and for Kiritsugu to be a badass only to leave it finding Kiritsugu the least interesting compared to everyone else.

Magus Killer Indeed

Now, I do not say that to imply that he lacks depth himself. Kiritsugu is unique in how he operates within his magic world and you're not supposed to view him as idealistically as Irisviel or Shirou do, he's a flawed man with a very fucked up history.

This man, like Shirou, wanted to be a hero of justice as a child. An innocent enough desire but one that was both never tempered in realism and was shattered by realism.

What I mean by that is that Kiritsugu is plagued by a paradox. Yes, the village being turned into ghouls and murdered was bad. Yes, Kiritsugu killing his own father because he felt that "he had too" is a very dark sign of his mentality even as a child.

But these things haunt him, they do not drive him. What drives him is his desire to be that hero. When his world is shattered he takes a dark approach to kill the few to save the many.

It's that pursuit that eventually shatters his goal with the realism of humanity. You can never truly save everyone, other humans will always ruin it.

But the realism that pushes him to try anyway is the grail. In this world the wish granter is real, tangible, thus the paradox. He fully believes the goal shattered by realism can be salvaged by the realism of the grail's existence.

He's usually so pessimistic and realistic in his approaches to the war and battles that it's almost jarring to see his character break once he learns that the grail can't just do anything. You can see that last bit of idealism in his soul die.

Worse, the grail taunts him. It can only grant a wish that a human themselves can understand. As an example;

you can't ask for fire if you do not know how fire operates.

Thus the grail shows him a way to grant his wish but that wish grants nothing. This is very crucial to his breakdown because the grail showed him in the purest terms that;

This is your way of saving others but ultimately it saves no one

That's the point of the boat example. No matter how many you sacrifice for the whole, the survives will further fracture. There will always be a minority and a majority, Kiritsugu's life was essentially pointless in the larger picture.

Now, it'd be too cruel to say his life had no meaning at all. He was willing to sacrifice his mother figure and mentor to stop an undead outbreak. He killed his father because he felt responsible for his actions and Shirley's death.

He had to have done some good, it just wasn't in the way he had hoped. The greatest tragedy here is possibly that he's unable to see it.

We the audience see it in those rare moments of him being a father to his daughter, to Shirou, or a husband to Irisviel. People were drawn to him and loved him and if he had stopped his pursuits for them he may have found a happier ending.

True Emptiness

Then there's this true demon of a man. For all the talk, the praise of their battle, and Kiritsugu's own foreshadowing, I expected a deeper connection between the two.

It's strange, you can't just bring up Kiritsugu's flawed mentality without mentioning Kirei's yet the two only physically met one time. It's fascinating because I expected a bigger grudge or more plot relevance to their dynamic.

Yet, at the same time, their lack of interaction makes the eventual fight more interesting because of where Kirei starts and where he ends.

Intriguingly, Kiritsugu pegs Kirei near instantly. He only had a mug shot and some info on his life but he could instantly tell that there was something very wrong with Kirei. He sensed the lack of love and emptiness and feared him the most.

In contrast, Kirei didn't know Kiritsugu as well as he believed. Half of his emotional journey is realizing that they're not as alike as he thought.

This is best shown in his battle with Irisviel and Maya. He assumes Kiritsugu sent them there to battle him and he can't comprehend it when that's not the case. In his mind he is fully incapable of understanding why those two women would choose to face him.

He can't comprehend the illogical actions love will drive one too.

That said, the far more interesting dynamic in Kirei's life is Gilgamesh. While Kirei fails in his assumption of Kiritsugu and lacks a full understanding of himself it is Gilgamesh who sees through Kirei instantly.

Their talks are some of the most interesting parts in the story because you can tell Gilgamesh is trying to make him realize his own nature. Gilgamesh has no grand reason for doing so, he's just bored.

For all the dorky shit Gilgamesh does, for all the moments of him being oddly good with kids, or a good king (in FGO) you can't forget that Gilgamesh defies morality. He's not above it he just does not consider it.

He seeks entertainment and Kirei is the most interesting thing there. A full grown man unable to feel yet subconsciously seeking too. The answer is always on the tip of Kirei's tongue. (he's in self denial)

It's truly fascinating to watch it unfold. This ancient demigod taking a mentorship-like role just so he can see what Kirei will do.

It's due to these talks of introspection and Kirei's other actions that I find it hard to see the duality of he and Kiritsugu. What ultimately awakens Kirei's understanding is watching Kariya's suffering.

Gilgamesh may point it out but that's moot. It's Kariya's motives that catch Kirei's attention most, it's the drama with Tokiomi that fascinates him, it's saving Kariya and using him later that makes it click for Kirei internally.

You could possibly argue the whole thing is Tokiomi's fault. He gave his daughter to the Matous and even if he was unaware of the torture she'd endure for years that- no wait.

He possibly went wrong the moment he schemed with the church. Watching the Tohsaka's and Kariya play out their drama awoke the monster that is Kirei but it was Tokiomi's fault Kirei was there at all.

It was also Tokiomi that summoned Gilgamesh....hmm there's a lot more to ponder there I guess but let's move on.

I can only praise the depiction of Kirei's awakening so far before it seems like I like his character or adore it. It's fascinating to watch but he's still a monster that shouldn't be walking among men.

The Best Fate Bro to ever live

I wanted to use the last section of this to talk about the best fucking boy. I do not care what anyone tells you, Iskandar is the best bro in the Fate universe.

The very first thing this man does upon being summoned is find a map. With the enthusiasm of a child he admires it looking for where his kingdom is now and seeing the world mapped out in whole.

There's something that is just genuinely pure about Iskandar in Fate/Zero. No heroic spirit is without questionable actions in the modern lens but this story does a good job of blending that by explaining Iskandar's motives.

He has a genuine love of seeing new things. That joy is so pure that his wish for the grail is to be reincarnated so that he can begin his conqueroring anew. I have no earthly clue how he thinks he'll be able to do that in a normal mortal body but no matter because I doubt he's thought that far ahead himself.

His patience in dealing with a prideful child is also second to none. His words are often full of small wisdom to the point I did not keep count of them all nor could I explore it all. He's always pushing his master to try new things and it takes root overtime.

It is very easy to see how Waver could become the popular Lord El-Melloi II in other materials. It all began here, regardless of timelines, there's usually a Waver that fought in the 4th Grail War with Iskander.

I'm not even sure what to write about Waver himself because so much of what made the impression was seeing him slowly changing due to Iskandar's influence.

In a mage society that belittles him for being "new blood" it is Iskandar that continually tries to open his eyes. That's highlighted best when Waver tracks down Caster easily using simpler methods due to his magical limitations.

He views it as bad but Iskandar makes a good point. To do something in a simpler yet equally relevant way (perhaps even better) is a talent worthy of praise. Waver doesn't recognize his own ingenuity nor does he realize that there's merit in someone who can think around their limitations.

It's the core of their dynamic and that moment when Waver goes from being his master mage to his subject is beautiful. That strong loyalty born over the story even saves Waver's life.

Gilgamesh spares him based on that undying loyalty alone. A far cry from where Waver starts.

Kingly Mentality

Before I lose myself in the praise I should point out that Iskandar is no fool. Yes, he rarely plans in Fate Zero and his pure love for the new and patience shapes his bond with his mage.

However, do not mistake that pureness for a simpleton. Iskander is simply straightforward to a fault. His greatest characteristic is that friendly straightforward nature he has.

He's the one servant that repeatedly stops to talk to the others, he's able to get them to talk when they normally wouldn't, and even when he expresses desire to take them into his army those present do not get that offended.

Gilgamesh, the king of arrogance, even begins to shrug this off. On some level he respects Iskandar's nature because he is true to himself.

Still, some do think his attitude toward Saber is bad in regards to the banquet of kings. Now this is tumblr which is bad for seeing what isn't there to begin with or it's twitter which has lost it's critical thinking skills long ago.

What do I mean by this? Simple, while Iskandar and Gilgamesh disagree they at least respect each other as kings. Similarly they disrespect Artoria as king but for differing reasons.

To Iskandar a king is someone who stands above men as a symbol of their ideals. Something to follow, a larger than life person to show them the way.

What lost Iskandar's respect for Artoria's kingship was her wish. Her desire to undo it all, even if for good reasons, is an insult to Iskandar. No matter how tragic he would not change one moment of his life because that would affect everyone that fought for him and with him.

He sees Artoria as a slave of her people and the ideals she was raised on rather than a king that's truly led and valued her men. It is here that some have issues.

We'll argue King Arthur another time, what's relevant is why Iskandar views it. The tragic thing being that he is not entirely wrong.

Artoria was raised to be a king, she was conceived in convoluted magic ways to be England's king, so when he says that he only "sees a girl who could not chase butterflies or fall in love" he is entirely correct.

I do not say that dismissing her choices mind you but she did sacrifice that normalcy regardless. Iskandar, as we've covered, enjoys life at it's core.

So what he sees in Saber is a girl who was denied life. She could not truly enjoy it which disconnected her from her people. He views it as sad and states that one reason for recruiting her into his army is to show her otherwise.

Now as to whether he could have is another topic entirely. What's important is that he can't respect her as a king because he sees a martyr not a king.

The Fate Route of the FSN justifies his views to an extent because Saber eventually finds some things she denied herself in Shirou. She ultimately just needed a chance to be a person and Iskandar wanted to help her do so.

There are some faults in his thinking, yes, but his intentions aren't negative nor his his disrespect of her kingship based on sex. He fully respected Saber as a king until he learned her wish.

Even after he respected her as a warrior and wanted to see her enjoy life...and cut down his enemies BUT STILL.

Conclusion?

Already? So abruptly? Kinda. This got too big to fit into one post and there's a lot I can't find a way to organically work in.

Such as Tokiomi's dumb ass making Kirei Rin's guardian when his wife is perfectly healthy and alive when he writes that will.

Or how Gilgamesh views Saber just as objectively and disrespectfully as you'd expect. His take on her kingship and sex is completely negative and objectifying, a contrast to Iskandar.

Hell the whole mutual respect and differences between Gilgamesh and Iskandar.

I also didn't get to the odd but unnervingly deep take on God between two mass murderers. (Caster & Ryuunosuke)

I definitely don't have it in me to cover Kiritsugu's family. Illyasviel is more of a FSN topic and Irisviel is hard for me to quantify. Her love for her husband and of the small things he showed her was beautiful though.

Oh well, ONTO PART TWO: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/post/737301977761005569/fated-rantings-seiba-pt-2#notes

=======================

For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

[leedoodlesstuff]

Adult Orel...aaaaahhhhhhh

YESS I've been waiting for this one 😁

HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER:

I feel very strongly about him in a way like, he's so interesting cuz we don't know anything about how he actually treats his kids or his wife or anything, but we see that they're happy so it can't be an act because they don't know that anyone's watching them, ykwim

what I like about him is that you can basically make him act like anything you want because you don't actually know how he does act in canon, he does seem like he has humility and he's nice and he's humble, he doesn't feel like he's better than anybody else ! but we aren't completely sure

I really want to know what his job is, but it's really fun to assume what he could have done and went to school for and all that yk! I personally believe he's either a teacher at the school or a stay-at-home dad !

ALL THE PEOPLE I SHIP ROMANTICALLY WITH THIS CHARACTER:

obviously Christina because I can't think of anyone else that he would work with better than Christina honestly,

They ARE the canon couple, though you know everything could be compromised by him cheating or her cheating or whatever but I don't think that they're the kind of people who would cheat knowing that their family had affairs while they were growing up 🤝 COUPLE GOALS FOR THEM THO!

MY NON ROMANTIC OTP FOR THIS CHARACTER:

I'd love to see Doughy and his relationship after everything that's happened when they're adults because I feel like Doughy would be a washed up birthday clown or something, like he went to clown school and graduated with a major in he and a minor in ha or some shit yk

I'd also like to see how he is with almost anyone who he's ever been friends with, like Tommy, Joe, and Him

I'd love to see something done with them as adults, like how they would interact with each other after so many years!!

MY UNPOPULAR OPINION ON THIS CHARACTER:

it's not as much of an unpopular opinion as it is I don't like how when people do this to the character is when they make him the perfect parent or the perfect husband like he's not going to be perfect he's traumatizing and not a perfect person so he's not going to be a perfect husband or perfect parent he definitely tries to be one and he tries to believe that he is but he isn't, you know

LET HIM BE FLAWED PLL I personally make him overprotective and a bit guilt-trippy at times 🎀

ONE THING I WISH WOULD HAPPEN/HAD HAPPENED WITH THIS CHARACTER IN CANON:

Obviously giving him much much more screentime, in all honesty he was only on screen for like, 10 seconds with no voice lines whatsoever at the end of the season finale (the last episode of the original show), so yeah ! I really wish we got his voice at least! I would have loved a voice to work off of, but I mean, we can all imagine and have hc of what he could sound like!

Just anything about him would be EXTREMELY nice 😁 /silly

ANYWAY I love the man 💛💛 he deserves so much !!! more !!!!! RAHHHHH TYTY FOR EVERYONE GIVING ME CHARACTERS BTW I RLLY APPRECIATE IT!!!

[synergysilhouette]

Rewriting "At All Costs" (and making a new song)

Ah, my favorite song from the film! I decided to rewrite it anyway to work into my AU (as I did with "Knowing What I Know Now" and "I'm a Star"). If you've read my rewrite, you'll know that I also imagined a reprise of this later. In contrast to the mellow vibe of this, I'd want a more energetic, rumbling version of this song, given that it's sung between an the villains, a tortured Magnifico and power-hungry Amaya. Amaya at this point is rather displeased, as she has only JUST learned that Magnifico could bestow others with his almost limitless power, but never offered it to her, which is because a part of him, while loving her, knows how dangerous it'd be in her hands, and he'd never want to subject her to the burdens he carries anyway. Thematically, I'd probably say this was a mix of "Part of Your World" and the end of "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" Hope you enjoy this! And spoilers: I had two different ideas on how to make this song, so I made it twice! Hope you have the patience for two different songs in this post.

[Magnifico] You just don't understand. I don't think about subjugation But I know you do. Mi reina, she knows how to ignore her past All the power to you! Anxiety has been a part of me Since I was five I ask you to see caution through my eyes.

[Magnifico] You are the thunder that goes with my rain You feel rage when I feel pain With me, you're not a liar. Amaya

[Magnifico] Love me for my flaws For I, I will protect you at all costs Tell me all is calm. That without me, you are lost You are lost.

[Amaya] Mi Rey, you always see through My games, makes me respect you But you know I can handle it, so come on pay me my dues! I know your biggest fears I won't let that come to fruition Just trust me and love me for my ambition. As you say, never can I lie With you here in my face, you know I wouldn't try.

[Amaya] So love me for my flaws For I, I will protect you at all costs Like the roses in the frost Without me, you don't exist, You are lost.

[Amaya and Magnifico] And if I'm wrong, you can call me worthless and then Go cast me aside But if I'm right, don't you dare to question me again As husband and wife In this dark world, we'll become the boy and the girl Who ruled over life

[Amaya & Magnifico] But promise as one does Let's not fight again, at all costs Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs At all costs

I hope you enjoyed this version! If not, I hope you enjoy the next idea. I call this "Love & Fear (Royal Frustration)" or perhaps just "Love & Fear."

[Magnifico] My dear, I love you I will never take that back But take advantage And I'll be on the attack As a child, my heart was broken Then I met you, and I found it could still beat Not many words needed to be spoken Just like then, I'll make this short and sweet

[Magnifico] You barking up the wrong tree Stop test-test-testing me I have my reasons So just let-let-let it be I can't have closure You don't want exposure So obey the king If I mean anything!

[Magnifico] To you, everything comes easy The likeable princess, the wise and just queen But me, I'll always be the outcast They only adhere if I keep on this ring! "The Dangerous Sorcerer," Ooh, it fits like a glove! Perhaps it'd be better to be feared rather than loved.

[Amaya: Spoken]

(Sigh) All that power, and you're still pathetic.

[Amaya] Come here, let me coddle you Just like when we met Another poor refugee I guess that's what I get. You're codependent, you're insecure You're all bite and no bark! Are you a hero or a villain? You can't even play one part!

[Amaya] To you, everything should be easy For me, it's been anything but. Clawed my way up the tower for knowledge and power, And it seems I even have more guts! "The Dangerous Sorcerer," Ooh, is that who's here? We agree on one thing: don't embrace love; embrace fear!

[Amaya and Magnifico] Don't crumble under the weight of expectation Don't let them stomp you when you run the nation! Wishes aren't made; they're given Like a gift with the most exquisite ribbon. And gifts don't come for free When they come true 'cause of me!

[Amaya & KING MAGNIFICO] So cower, my subjects It's what I desire Keep on wishing It's what I require!

[Amaya]

And just remember, my doves.

[Magnifico]

It's better to be feared than loved.

And there you have it! Please let me know which version you prefer. This original song isn't my best work, I'm sure, but I tried!

[rilu-artblog]

You ever see a take so bad about that it makes you want to actually post something?

Anyways Gerald and Sheila do love each other, they just happen to be characters in a long running dark comedy cable tv show so of course their relationship is gonna appear whack sometimes

Warning for discussion of characters fictional sex life below, no photos but I just wanna make sure y’all know what you’re in for:

1. “They’re not sexually attracted to each other anymore”

Bro what show are you watching??

These two have literally never cheated on the other (both of the Cartman’s dad episodes imply that they both slept with Liane so maybe they did have a threesome) and Gerald not getting an erection that one ep is because.

He’s an older guy. Not because he’s not attracted to his wife anymore. In fact it’s probably why they do their UPS role plays and why Sheila is ok with Gerald watching porn, it shows how healthy their sex life is. Like, Sheila straight up had sex with Chef and was just outside the room like how was it honey :)

We clearly see them having sex with each other many times, but I’ve seen some arguments say that because their room is dark when they have sex, it clearly means Gerald doesn’t want to see Sheila and hates having sex with her? I’m sure many couples have sex in low lighting, but in-universe they probably turn off the lights so that their kids don’t come into the room (which clearly never works lol). Or out of universe, the network won’t allow them to show a full sex scene on cable tv (considering they also don’t allow them to show full frontal nudity except for the movie and streaming eps).

Anyways, tldr: the Broflovski’s love having sex with each other probably to the detriment of their sons lol.

2. However, I can get why some people don’t see them as emotionally loving each other. We see lots of moments where Gerald is scared of Sheila and Sheila can get really pissed off with him.

And of course, a lot of these moments come from Gerald, as while he’s not wrong sometimes that Sheila can be meddlesome, he does hide a lot of his shit from her because he’s afraid of being (rightfully) punished. Especially in season 20, we do see Sheila miss him and try to be open with him, Gerald doesn’t reciprocate not because he doesn’t love her but because he’s focused on his trolling.

We can either assume their relationship is always like this outside of season 20, where Sheila is putting in more effort than Gerald, or assume that this is just a special circumstance and Gerald is a bit more attentive outside of this season (which I think the show kinda implies? Idk might just be me lol).

3. So are these two an unhealthy relationship? Mmm depends, in the real world obviously yeah. But in the context of South Park the show, not at all.

Whenever people go “oh minor character’s parents are the healthiest/best parents on the show and have the best relationship” it’s like…well yeah duh, we don’t know anything about them.

As parents of the main characters, they are hands down the most loving. They’re not shown fighting with each other or cheating on each other (the hot tub incident is iffy but I think Gerald is just stupid when it comes to friendships lol). They definitely have their flaws, but never in a way where it feels like Sheila is parenting her husband, she rightfully calls him out.

It might seem like a low bar but again, considering the show, the two of them treat each other kinda ok. Season 20 really soured their relationship for a lot of fans, which is expected, but I think for current fans who’ve gone through the 3 almost divorces of Randy/Sharon, any marriage that doesn’t rely on “god I hate my nagging wife” jokes is a relief.

TLDR: You can like or hate characters for literally any reason, people can depict them any way they want, I just got really annoyed for no reason lol

[phoenix-flamed]

I've been contemplating the last few days doing a complete overhaul of my muse, but ultimately have decided against it for a multitude of reasons -- and one of them is this headcanon.

My Elwin is an incredibly flawed man. He makes mistakes. In fact, he fucks up -- a lot. He fucks up as a father, and as a husband, and as a ruler. He even fucks up as a friend.

I know the game itself has this weird tendency to sort of almost paint him as this altruistic paragon of virtue by the way that the people of Rosaria talk about him, but not only is their opinion of him understandably biased, it's also not something I see as being the case at all, even canonically.

The approach I always try to take with my muse is that he tries to be these things. He tries to be selfless; he will give everything for his people. He will do anything for his people. He will sacrifice anything for his people, including the safety and immediate well-being of his own ill child; he sacrifices his relationships with his family, especially his sons, and he sets himself on fire again and again for the good of his people.

But this is not selflessness, in my opinion. This is selfishness while trying to be selfless. These sacrifices that he chooses to make for the good of his people do not just impact him, they negatively impact other people like his family as well. They don't just mean that he's giving up the bond he could have with his children, they also mean that he's robbing his boys of their father. It's things like that, if that makes sense?

He chooses to, overall, disregard the fact that he and Anabella do not agree on so many significant matters, and that the High Houses are very much against him and his agenda. He chooses to stand against them and push onward, because he believes it is right, and he believes it is just, and that it is for the greater good of everyone, including his family. But what he doesn't take into account is the fact that these choices, these decisions do not just impact him, again; they impact everyone around him as well, everyone that is close to him, including his own family.

He convinces himself that the choices he makes, the sacrifices he makes, the awful things he does, the blood that he spills -- all of these things are what needs to be done for the sake of his people. And this is not true. This is just a way for him to assuage some of the guilt he feels for making decisions that he doesn't want to make, yet goes ahead and does anyway, because in his eyes it's what's best for his people.

My favorite example of this is the situation with the Northern Territories, and his choice to bring Jill to Rosaria.

It's always, always what he believes is best for his people. Key word there is "believes". Just because you believe something is justified or "right" does not mean that it is justified or "right"; it doesn't work that way, nor do good intentions automatically mean that the outcome will be good or positive. You can have all of the best intentions in the world, but in the face of cause and effect and of consequences to one's actions, intentions mean absolutely nothing.

I could go on and on about my thoughts and views of this man, and how I strive to portray him, and the complexities of what he chooses to do and how he thinks, and how they translate into and impact his family and his people, but I'll sum it all up with this:

He's human. He is flawed. He is imperfect on all levels. He does good things, he does bad things. He can be kindhearted and compassionate and gentle and happy, and he can be ruthless and cruel and angry and emotional. He can be loving and devoted, and he can be narrow-minded and selfish. He's more than just this positive force of good and benevolence -- he is human, and he is messy and complex, and contradictory, and he is morally grey.

[its-actually-withered]

So, I've finished two kdramas today "Doctor Cha" and "Love with flaws", spoilers to follow:

With "Doctor Cha", I enjoyed most of the story, but I thought the ending was rushed. I'm glad she's happy, she's free of her shitty marriage and she's pursuing a path she's always wanted.

I still think her useless (ex) husband should have his reputation destroyed, but I'm a petty hoe.

Also wish Doctor Cha had ended up with Doctor Kim. I understand her reasoning, and in the context of the story, there really wasn't much time to build on the potential of their relationship. Still, if it weren't for the fact that it was a limited series, I think it would've been great to see the relationship develop especially from the perspective of two older people falling in love. Anyway.

As for "Love with flaws" I also enjoyed most of the story, I thought it was hilarious and I loved (almost) all the characters which is impressive given how big the cast was.

Absolutely loved the main female character. I did think she was a little too oblivious, but I think it was a combination of who she is as a person (thinking good of others, being kind and helping people).

The main male character grew on me A LOT, and I will fight anyone to protect that awkward nerd.

I wish we'd gotten to know the weird girl more, her presence seemed very random and her storyline deviated the most without intersection to the main story.

I also wish we'd gotten to spend more time with the middle brother. I loved that gay subplot like it was my child.

I also ended up really enjoying hot boss lady and the eldest brother, I wish we'd gotten their "fake relationship business contract" subplot more.

THE SECONDARY SHIP WAS EVERYTHING TO ME, I WANT A WHOLE SHOW WITH THEM.

Downsides.

I didn't really appreciate the number of misunderstandings that took place. There were so many. Largely, they were entertaining, though, but on occasion it was very much a default decision to drag out certain parts of the story.

I hated the "love triangle". I hate them on principle, but in this case it wasn't a good one on top of its general existence.

Again, I think the end was rushed, and kind of random?

Anyway.

They were great, and I had a good time. Will definitely be checking out other kdramas soon

[queenunderthatmountain]

My thoughts about rings of power (cuz i love having an opinion yay enjoy)

1. It was kinda...boring? Look, it took me legit 5 months to finish it. ... (I do lord of the rings marathons extended every three months or so. I'm NOT easily bored.)

But the plot just kinda...wasnt really existent? The scenes seemed to take hours each. Still nothing really seemed to happen for the most part.

2. So dramatic

The conversation were so extra and for what? Like, obviously they talk different in middle earth than in my daily life. I have no problem with them talking in methaphors or anecdotes from time to time. But literally EVERY sentence had to be meaningful and deep. I remember Galadriel asking Elendil "where we going" and it took him five minutes to say "home" which stillll doesnt answer the questions.

also not only the dialoges. like there was one scene in which Arondir and Bronwyn were like fleeing from orcs, it was literally slow motion, most tragic music ever, almost identical to Boromirs death and then...nothing happened? They just escaped? Like for what, it was about 10 minutes?

3. I really didnt care about everyone

Sooo that doesnt mean I didnt like anyone. I did like Elrond (idk he was so pretty) and his dwarf besties, Nori was cute, Halbrand was hach alright i just had to give him pretty privilege I'm sorry.

However the other ones... I just didnt like. Like Arondir and Bronwyns storyline I just didnt care about (Sorry, no hate though) and I couldnt stand Isildurs little ass

4. Galadriel

Soo I have to admit I have just started the silmarillion, so I dont really know much about Galadriels depiction in it, but from what I've seen online it wasnt like here. I just...really didnt like her. I wanted to so badly though. But she was just...really annoying? Maybe if I didnt know her from lotr I wouldnt mind finding her so flawed and selfish and proud,( to which she got to feel the consequences after all). But I feel like they just depowerd her by trying to create a stereotypical young adult girlboss. Hey look, she can fight, she's arrogant and needlessly very mean yass girlpower. But Galadriel was already a strong female character. She was wise, powerful (swordfighting or not), she was Lady of Lothlorien, more important than her husband (sorry) and, importantly, respected. Now she just seemed like a brat that noone took seriously.

5. I hated the armour of Numeror knights. So ugly. Looked like an army of fish.

6. Sauron

Well. I'm weak. So, I don't really know anything about him in the silmarillion yet, so I cant rly judge on that (though I'm pretty sure the Haladriel thing was new). Still i kinda like him. Don't get me wrong, lord of the rings is absolutely perfect and I never really minded it, but in it Sauron really only is depicted as like the ultimate definition of evil. I do kinda like to see more of him, to make him more complex, feeling and ahh. Okay so charlie vickers? wow, just wow. Also really well acted I think. I actually still believed he was babygirl till the last minute despite like a thousand theories.

The Haladriel thing? I dont know about it. It is kinda clichee. But interesting. not sure about that.

7. The way the actors and crew were treated is actually horrible and disgusting

So, even though I said lots of negative stuff here it is still a project that many people were passionate about and worked hard on. Saying things like "complete trash" is just mean, and pointsless anyways. I also kinda wanted to like it because Elon Musk didnt.

The racism that the actors were faced with is just so disgusting and straight up dumb. People will buy immortal magical beings as long as theyre no poc. yeah that makes sense right. I'm so sorry for the actors for having to go though this and experience all that.

OVERALL

While it was to be honest somewhat of a disappointment I'm still looking forward to season 2 :)

Anyways everyone should have their own opinions, noone is a truer or better lotr fan because they like or dislike it, and hate against the cast and crew is unacceptable regardless of your opinion.

Sorry for the essay

[sharper-than-a-serpents-tooth]

Man, seeing your post (rightfully) criticizing the wmmap novel and Lee Jihye is bringing me back into my wmmap fixation. I'm the one who created the A Perfect Summer Storm AU— I had deleted the manhwa sideblog in a depressive episode bc I started feeling like I wasn't reaching anyone with it... I do rue the loss of my writing, though. That AU's ship game was a clusterfuck.

Claude/Felix, Diana/Felix, one-sided Claude/Diana, Felix/Anastacius probably it's been a while (Felix does finally snap and joins Ana's resistance faction after a while), Athykiel, Jen/OC, Lucas ending up raised by Jen and her husband and his love interest ends up being Athykiel's child, uhhhh who else is left, OH Diana and her... not-quite lover, almost sisterly figure, it's Complicated™, a fellow dancer in the same troupe as she was, who followed her into the Ruby Palace out of love.

I also ended up creating an entire family for Jen's love interest and... yeah that was the point where I started feeling down.

omg hi hi hello! *waves excitedly* 💕 I know your other blog too and missed you very much. 🥺 I was just redrawing the Athy panel you used to have as an icon as practice and had to think about you. Must be telepathy. A Perfect Summer Storm was probably the AU of all time that we have conceived ever. APSS, especially the Claufelidia love triangle in APSS has become part of my base AU that I often refer to in my headcanons. The ship game was truly crazy like A Midsummer Night's Dream, everyone was in love with everyone and no one. They were tormented by forbidden feelings for the person they could never have while being bound to the one that was ruining their life until one of them managed to break the cycle.

And Aiyla, Aiyla, Aiyla *sights* ...Aiyla is the character that I imprinted on immediately (Anis was my second fave ^^ I wish to learn more about Sindria and the royal foster system one day). I needed a mean lesbian that talks shit about Claude and gets away with it while also being hopelessly in love with Diana so deeply it temporary steals away her ability to think rationally and alert her to danger. (What if it's just her jealousy talking? What if she's seeing red flags where there are none, because she secretly wants to break up their relationship and keep Diana to herself? What if Diana will think that Aiyla does it because she misses being the dominant one and wants to bring their master/servant role back and starts hating her? What if she was right? For the first time in her life Aiyla is scared to speak up her mind. She finds the thought of Diana hating her unbearable. If Diana loves him, he can't be that bad, can he?). Aiyla is the Claude to Diana's Felix but she makes a noble sacrifice and in doing so she wins the battle against her own selfishness, yet she ends up alone anyway. I ask myself what her fatal flaw was.

What does she look like? Do you have a color palette for her? (I picture her with long straight black hair that goes to her waist, darker skin than Diana's, maybe smaller than Diana and wearing dresses the colours of the sun. orange and warm yellow. In my head she doesn't wear much extravagant jewelry. She prefers to wear many small pieces of chains, piercings and rings on her body over one tiara with a giant diamond in the middle and that's why Diana is often confused as the princess of Siodonna when they are outside the palace. She's modest wheras Diana is flashy, bright and loves big sparkly gem stones. Diana tends to wear a little bit too much decorations but on her it doesn't look too much.) I kinda wanna draw her now.

I'm up for a wmmap renaissance anytime if you're up for it. ☀️

[youredreamingofroo]

I'm finally doing it. 100 OC questions with Roo.

-> 100 OC questions by the-moon-dust-writings

under the cut to save yall from a lengthy dash - also spaced it all out so its easier to read mainly cuz im dyslexic and its impossible to read tumblr text half the time 💀

also if there's anything that's unfinished or illegible, im really sorry, its 1 AM and my eyes are starting to go cross-eyed 😭😭😭

1. How do they present themselves to others? ▷ Roo tends to completely shut off any form of his real self when initially meeting people, he fears coming off as weird to others, however as he gets to know people more and gets closer, his mask slowly fades. In general, he presents himself as tight and sometimes stingy and/or jumpy (to lesser known people), or he'll present himself as silly, loose and able to laugh, and better at communicating (to more well known people).

2. Do they like animals?

▷ He absolutely LOVES animals, he loves just being in proximity of them and literally wishes he could take any and all animals he sees home (the lovely cuddly ones anyways LMAOOO).

3. How do they dress? ▷ He dresses like he just fucking got out of bed most of the time. 4. How many languages do they know?

▷ 2- technically, He's fluent in english and knows very little swedish (he's trying).

5. How big is their family? ▷ Just to avoid me going off on an INCREDIBLY draining journey, I'm going to list off only immediate family: He has two parents, Reese and Virginia He has one immediate sister, Jordynn He has three half siblings, Devan, Deliahna and Juniper Devan and Deliahna's Father (Sort of Roo's Step/Half-Dad???) is named Noah and Juniper's Father (also sort of Roo's Step/Half-Dad?????) is named Mateo Roo has a nephew named Evan and a Niece named Josey (Both Jordynns) and he has a Brother in Law named Sean (Jordynn's husband). 6. What is their purpose in the story? ▷ Roo has no purpose, he's intended to just be a character, he's intended to be a character that I do my best to develop as almost real, he will never be real, of course, but I like to treat as though he is, additionally he's meant to show growth, and just letting characters grow and develop flaws, if you read/saw his Roo-seum post, you'd have seen just how different he was 10 years ago RT (Roo's timeline). I mean, 10 years ago RT, he was literally homophobic, and now hes VERY gay. I never intended to make roo grow as much as he has and at the end of the day, hes just a persona who was lucky enough and interesting enough to become his own character. 7. Do they know how to fight? ▷ LMFAO No. 8. What is their back story? ▷ Not typing all that, you can find his backstory (Roo-seum) on the Roo page of my blog. 9. Why is their name, their name? ▷ From a literal sense (why I chose his name), I initially chose Roo as his name, why is that his name? I dont remember. I remember I wanted to also give him a real name, and funnily enough, I REALLY like/d Harvey from SDV, and I LOVE the name Harvey its really cute, so I gave it to Roo. From a lore sense (why Virginia chose his name), when Virginia had Roo, she didn't really GAF what she named him, she was still mourning Reese's death, and she just needed a name to give Roo, and was reminded of when Reese and Her were thinking of boy and girl names, Heather? No, it's a boy. Heath? ...Uhh.. No. Melody? Still a boy. Arthur? That's a silly name (no offense to any Arthurs out there).... Harvey... It was a name that had Reese grinning from ear to ear, She'd never seen him smile that big for a name... besides her own, it was the perfect remnant of Reese. 10. Do they have any nick names? ▷ Yes. Roo. In canon, his siblings call him Harv or Rooey (like kangaroo and joey???.... LMAO), his mom used to call him Havvy as a kid/baby, but now he hates that nickname and sometimes Virginia tries to use it to get him to forgive her for the way she treated him, although he never budges. Some joke nicknames I have given him, is Rookie pookie and if I'm ever making a genderbent Roo I call him "Roo-ella", all of which are not canon names in HIS universe, but are canon names in other universe.

11. Do they have a romantic interest? ▷ uhhhh yes and no, it's complicated, he's only now realizing his feelings for a certain someone. 12. How do they cope with struggles? ▷ he cries, and he vents, he doesnt really know how to cope (in a healthy manner, like seeking therapy or doing stuff to calm him down). 13. Do they have anyone they can lean on? ▷ Yessirrr, He's got Rylan, a friend of his that I STILL need to introduce............ He also has his siblings. 14. How do they react to someone dying? ▷ ???? In sheer horror?? I'd assume he probably would be 1000x more devastated than the average human though cuz he hasn't properly experienced a loss of a loved one (like actual death loss, not like a family member leaving thats a WHOLE different story). 15. Can you name 5 personality traits they have? ▷ Introverted extrovert ("thats just an ambivert!" hes INCREDIBLY introverted, until/unless he gets to know someone who really clicks with him, at which point he becomes super extroverted, and they HAVE to click with him, otherwise he remains relatively introverted, and I do not see that fitting into the ambivert definition) Insecure (in a sense that he doubts a lot of his decisions) Overthinker Very oblivious A daydreamer. 16. How did they become a character? ▷ I don't want to keep explaining this, but in short, he's a persona that is also separately an OC. 17. Do they get along with others? ▷ He's often called charismatic cause hes such an enjoyable person to talk to, he often thinks people dont like talking to him, but thats only because he never fucking talks to people and usually only talks to someone when they initiate conversation. But yes, he does get along with others, even if he denies it. 18. What flaws do they have? ▷ Can't cope in a healthy manner, bad at initiating conversation, mega procrastinator, not super good at emotional control and often isolates himself without letting anybody know, making everybody worried, especially considering his isolation track record. 19. How do they influence the story? ▷ N/A idk cuz his life is the story and i mean like, what he does influences the story LMFAO. 20. What do they look like? ▷ We all know by now but:

21. What are their hobbies? ▷ He likes to game, and as introverted as he can be, he likes to go out to places even if he's not gonna buy something, he likes to take walks, and he likes to just laze around, and ponder. 22. What are their ticks? ▷ Idk he doesn't really have any out of the ordinary ticks, yk, like, he hates homophobic people? and transphobic ppl? So... yea. 23. Do they like children? ▷ No. 24. How do they react to being around wild animals? ▷ He gets super SUPER nervous, but at the same time bubbles with joy cause he loves animals and wants to touch the animal, except hes fucking terrified of getting killed and ends up, of course, not touching said animal. 25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work? ▷ He just wouldn't do the prank to begin with tbh, he's a little bitch like 😭😭 26. Do they have any survival skills? ▷ HAH Nope. 27. Are they more book smart or street smart? ▷ Idk, He's self-taught most of the things he knows, but I guess book smart? 28. How do they get out of a difficult situation? ▷ Roo doesn't even know how to cope in a difficult situation, he's just gonna panic and run around like that one spongebob gif of all the little spongebobs running around with fire everywhere iykyk. 29. Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want? ▷ No- hello?? LMFAO. 30. What music do they enjoy? ▷ Honest to God, he enjoys whatever music I enjoy, not saying this out of laziness, I mean like he, as a character, would genuinely just enjoy the music I enjoy. Although I will say, he'd definitely prefer more somber-esque songs.

31. How do they overcome obstacles? ▷ He just... idk, overcomes them, eventually tho cuz he's a procrastinator (as someone who doesnt know how I overcome my own obstacles, I dont know how to describe overcoming obstacles so this is a difficult question). 32. When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break? ▷ When Roo is faced with a difficult decision, he freezes, or I guess in this case "breaks," he can't really handle the pressure of having to make big decisions and may even just subconsciously/stupidly answer (which is prominent during the Reo sub-plot). 33. Do they have any special powers? ▷ Nope. 34. How do they change throughout the story? ▷ Another situation where I point you towards the Roo-seum and also say that his story IS the story. 35. Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit? ▷ Yes. Him and Rylan are VERY close, they met when Roo was attending College 36. How is their family life? ▷ Pretty fucking messy, you can find pretty much most of your answers in the respective posts of his siblings introduction posts. He fucking hates his Mom for leaving him, however there's two sides to this as Virginia was initially expecting to be caring for Roo with Reese, and didnt expect Reese to die so suddenly and so soon before the birth, depression sucked the life out of her and she progressively became less and less willing to live (she's doing better now, but yeesh), So it wasn't her fault, however Roo still holds a bit of a vendetta just cause she left Jordynn to care for him when she [Jordynn] was 7 He LOVESSS his siblings, except for Juniper. Jordynn raised Roo, Roo has been an off and on translator for Devan (because he cant speak fluent english), and Deli treated Roo as... basically a father since Roo showed much more love and care to her than Noah [her father] or Virginia, and he also got rid of her bullies (not in THAT way, i mean like just got them to stop bullying her) He's a hit or miss with Juniper, as he hasn't heard incredible things about her, but is warming up to her as he learned that she was recovering from her bad habits. 37. Are they likable? ▷ I mean, yea. 38. Are they the hero, or anti-hero? ▷ neither, his story does not involve that kinda stuff LMFAO and even if it did, he'd be neither cuz he'd suck at BEING BOTH 😭. 39. Do they make questionable choices? ▷ All the damn time man, as I reveal certain tidbits of his life (especially with him and leo), you'll really see his questionable decisions come to fruition. 40. How do they become who they are? ▷ Explained in his Roo-seum post 😭😭

41. How was their childhood? ▷ Pretty shitty, because of his Mom, but got better as he was "properly" taken care of by Jordynn. 42. Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over? ▷ He used to be close to Hayden and He did something a little worse than screwed with him/screwed him over. 43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all? ▷ He's kind of like a sponge... I guess? While he may be uncomfortable in different or new situations/environments, he can adapt pretty well, although adapt doesn't necessarily mean comfortable for him, that just means he puts on a silly little autism mask and pretends to be comfortable. 44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar ▷ I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to share my sort of voice claim for Roo, which isn't even that clear cuz I haven't found someone with the perfect voice claim yet but: His voice is a mix of Danny Gonzalez (25%) and Kryoz (75%), with Mr. Click's accent (all of these are youtubers just as a heads up ahdbsj) In general tho, I'd say he's more soft-spoken, he does swear and does get vulgar, but its funny when he does it cuz his voice does not fit the shit that comes outta his mouth sometimes. 45. Are they opposed to violence? ▷ ...Yea?? 46. When is their birthday? ▷ 10/05/95. 47. Are they quick to judge? ▷ Yes, but he usually keeps it to himself, and his judgements are often proven right, but he still prefers not to say it aloud because he feels bad. 48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others? ▷ His condition, otherwise called Piametia (check the linked page if your confused), although its not prominent anymore, he does find it a bit embarrassing, even though people usually find it cool, he doesn't share that bit of his life since it reminds of him when he was bullied. 49. Do they act different around different people? ▷ Every person is another personality for him. 50. Do they enjoy the arts? ▷ Yes. He LOVES art, he wishes he could draw, but as much as he tries, he always ends up getting burnt out and not drawing for several months if not entire years (art [roo] imitates life [me]).

51. Do they like science? ▷ YES. He is SOOOOO obsessed with Science, had he been successful in college and continued his course, he, looking back on it, would've gone with a major in Science (he's flexible and literally would take any area of science except for maybe Entomology). 52. Are they more emotional or logical? ▷ Emotional for sure. 53. How do they deal with their emotions? ▷ He just lets it overcome him and honestly just waits for it to go away or until he forgets he was even feeling that emotion (in regards to negative emotions, for positive emotions, he tends to repress it a bit to not come off as overbearing, but sometimes his bucket of silliness overflows). 54. How do they cope with sadness? ▷ He doesn't. He just gets really sad, lets it consume him and waits for it to go away or until he gets distracted and forgets he was even sad to begin with. 55. What is something they care about? ▷ Probably his apartment, the placement of everything and all his stuff is literally sacred to him, and he hates it when people touches his stuff. 56. Would they die for anyone/anything? ▷ He'd die for his siblings (mayyyyybeee..... not Juniper tho), any day and any hour of the week. 57. What do they do when they are happy? ▷ Listens to music and/or goes out and does stuff/gets stuff done. 58. How would they come across to other characters? Examples- messy, lazy, childish, caring ect ▷ Depends on the character and their personality, but typically charismatic, childish, carefree and maybe even a little bit annoying, but also easy to get along with. 59. Do they have a phrase they use over and over? ▷ "your mom" 👏👏👏👏 60. In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle? ▷ Probably wherever his friends are, but if he doesn't have any friends with him, he's probably in the corners or on the side.

61. Are they comfortable being in a crowded room? ▷ God no. Maybe if he has a friend with him, but the flat answer is just absolutely not. 62. How do they relax? ▷ He likes to walk and just appreciate his surroundings, it's very quiet and somber(?) where he lives, and he views it as cozy where some people would say overgrown, taking in nature is, while cliche, very relaxing for him, otherwise he'll just listen to music or lay on his bed and just do nothing. 63. Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically? ▷ He left marks on Hayden physically and has never fucking regretted it and if anything wishes he left deeper marks. 64. Do they like to dance? ▷ Dancing makes Roo unbelievably uncomfortable, he tries to dance and always gets embarrassed with himself, so dancing is a NO. GO. Unless it's slow dancing and someone guides him. 65. How do they get around their environment? Examples - horses, bike, vehicle ▷ Bus, or just public transportation, he can't fucking drive. 66. What is their pet peeve(s)? ▷ Just your standard pet peeves idk. 67. Do they have a disability? ▷ No. 68. How do they react to getting flowers? ▷ He literally weeps, sobs, cries, and probably would fall to his knees and ball up. 69. Would they ever wear a flower crown? ▷ ABSOLUTELY (his ACNH AU version of himself used to wear a flower crown) 70. Do they like themselves? ▷ So-So, some days he does, some days he doesn't, it really depends on how depressed he is idk.

71. Who do they dislike? ▷ Hayden. 72. What is their motto? ▷ "Different doesn't mean wrong." Considering he literally grew up different from others and always being seen as "wrong," He's began living by that motto after his major depressive episode, and it's been slowly but surely working for him. 73. Do they have any markings on their body? ▷ No?? I mean, freckles I guess? 74. Have they ever been abused? ▷ Yes. Sexually. I will not elaborate further, that's for another post on another day. 75. What is their biggest fear? ▷ Having what happened to him (referring to the previous question) before, happen again. 76. What are their goals? ▷ Just be a cool little guy idk LMFAO. 77. How do they go about achieving their goals? ▷ By being a cool little guy (i dont know how to set goals if you couldnt tell). 78. Do they have a fight or flight response? ▷ He has flight and then immediately freeze. 79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves? ▷ Probably Deliahna, he loves her like no other. 80. How would they fair in zombie apocalypse? ▷ He would not fair in an apocalypse, he would be frozen in fear and balled up, and would never be able to un-ball himself (this is not counting AU versions of Roo, this is only applicable to CANON Roo).

81. Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant? ▷ Nope. 82. Are they good at mental math? ▷ Uhhhhh No. Not at all. Despite the fact that he's doing a lot better now, he's still bad at managing his own mental health, he tends to forget about self-care, like eating meals at proper times, and getting laundry done. 83. Do they get along with others? ▷ I feel like I answered this already, but yes he does, although he doesn't feel like it, thats mainly cuz he overthinks and assumes they just hate him. 84 Are they lazy? ▷ No, he's pretty active (surprising.) and is pretty stingy on the cleanliness of his apartment, especially after his MASSIVE strike of depression. 85. Are they self motivated? ▷ I'd say yes and no, it's hard to explain, but he's often motivated by himself, but being motivated by others will get himself to motivate himself even more if that makes sense. 86. How do they cope with anger? ▷ He physically releases the anger, usually by punching something, but if he can't punch something, he'll just let the rage boil inside of him til he blows over, he has poor anger control. 87. Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless? ▷ He has been in one situation where he's felt helpless, which was he was sexually assaulted. 88. Are they organized or messy? ▷ An interesting mix of both, his apartment is VERY cluttered but in a almost in a nice organized way? 89. Can they remember a lot of information at once? ▷ Not really, He'd get to pre-occupied trying to remember whats currently being said to him to remember what was initially said to him 90. What is their occupation? ▷ Whatever fucking job he can find LMFAO

91. Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them? ▷ The latter. He doesn't like it when people are scared of him, it actually makes him really sad. 92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? ▷ He would text Leo about how he truly feels about him. 93. How do they deal with stress? ▷ He doesn't. Stress often consumes him, and the only thing he really does to deal with stress is just... ignore it... or in some cases actually do the thing he needs to do to alleviate the stress (like turning something in) 94. Do they have a more submissive or dominate personality type? ▷ I don't know, look at this and tell me what you think.

95. Do they have a pet? ▷ His ass cannot afford to keep a pet, nor does his apartment complex allow him to own a pet (a big one anyways like a cat or dog) 96. Do they have a stash of weapons? ▷ wtf no 😭 97. Where do they live? Who do they live with? ▷ He lives in a small town with a couple of apartment complexes (idk the actual location, but Washington ig idk), and he lives in said apartment complexes, he does not live with anyone. 98. How do they calm themselves down? ▷ He cries and cries (or does whatever hes doing) until he gets distracted and forgets he was even upset to begin with. 99. Are they co-dependent? ▷ He relies on himself mostly and doesn't really find himself needing someone (at least in a co-dependent way?), mainly cuz he's always been single and hasn't had a partner (or friend) close enough to become co-dependent of them. 100. Are they a day, or night person? ▷ Night person for sure.

If you made it this far and would like to do this, feel free to tag me i LOVEEEE reading this of people's sims/ocs!!