#anyway i’m crying and sick and tired we love it here

[lilgynt]

i cannot even be sick without my mom being like i will make you want to kill urself

[kavehater]

Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what

[froggiewrites]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Sanji x Reader

SFW

Summary: You spend the night crying into your drinks about how much you want Sanji, and how much it hurts he's in love with someone else. Sanji spends the night crying about much the same. Your friends get sick of it, and decide to help the idiots realize what everyone else already knows. Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Misunderstandings, Sanji and Reader both being idiots Word Count: 4.1k

You are going to get drunk tonight. Plastered, even.

Another day, another victory, another adventure spent staring longingly at Sanji when you were sure he wasn’t looking. You could usually handle the embarrassment of acting like a lovesick puppy for a man you knew didn’t feel the same, but something about today really set you off. Maybe it was the way he so sweetly called Nami’s name when you all reunited, or the way he so carefully prepared Robin her favorite drinks, or some other transgression you can’t quite remember. You don’t know exactly what it was, but you know you’re irritated and hurt and a little heartbroken, and there’s about a half a dozen drinks with your name on them behind the bar.

The tavern is lively and loud, and the rest of the crew is clearly having a good time. Your eyes briefly linger on Sanji at the bar, but you try to force your eyes away. No point in lingering here, yearning for something you can’t have. You instead make your way to the back of the room, wedging yourself between Zoro and Robin, who seem to be drinking in silence together.

You had intended on sharing in the peaceful silence, broken only by some quiet comments and gentle chuckles, but three drinks in you can see them side-eyeing you, brows furrowed.

“What?” Your voice comes out harsher than you meant it to, but you’re a bit too drunk to care.

“Just surprised you’re drinking so much, is all. You normally pace yourself more than this.” Robin’s voice is quiet and controlled, as though she’s just making a passive observation, but you know your friends and you know she is deeply worried about you.

“I had a bad day.”

“Really? You seemed fine earlier.” Zoro sounds genuinely surprised. Robin shoots him a look you can’t read, and he quickly shuts his mouth.

“Does this have anything to do with a certain someone?” Her voice is kind, so kind, but it makes you clench your jaw anyway.

“No.”

Silence.

“Maybe.”

Zoro mutters, “Oh, god damnit,” before taking another stiff pull of his drink.

“What happened, exactly? You both seemed perfectly friendly this morning.”

“I don’t…know. Everything was fine until it wasn’t, and now I’m all twisted into knots and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Well maybe you can start by telling us how you feel, and we can try to help you unravel all of this.”

“We?”

You both ignore Zoro’s confusion and indignation. “Maybe…if you think it will help.” You close your eyes, grounding yourself, and focusing wholly inward. “I just think I’m…tired of wanting things I can’t have. It’s really hard to be on a ship full of people living their dreams, fighting for everything they desire, and I’m here, feeling like I have to constantly hold so tight I feel like my fingers will break or else it’ll all slip through my fingers.”

“And do you feel like you’re holding onto Sanji?”

“Not just him, I guess. To everything. To all of you. But I’m trying to let myself believe that all of this is what I want, and that it’s going to be forever, and then I see him smile at someone else and the illusion just…shatters. I’m not happy. And I know damn well it won’t last forever. I feel like I’m stuck waiting for an inevitable ending that I’ll never be satisfied with. Right now, I’m in limbo, and I can keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt, but every time I think about how hopeless I feel with him it kind of reminds me of how hopeless it all is.”

You put your head in your hands for a moment, taking a deep breath. “And it’s not only about him, right? It’s just kind of a general dissatisfaction with where I am compared to you guys. But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t more about Sanji than it isn’t. He’s both, like, a symbol of it and the source of it. He’s the thing I want most, and he’s the thing I know I’m never going to have.”

“Why do you think you’ll never have him?”

“Because he’s in love with Nami.” You say it like it’s obvious.

Zoro is glaring at his drink, still wondering how he got roped into this conversation and praying you stop, while Robin gives you a gentle look resembling sympathy. There's something behind her eyes though, something you can't read, that makes you feel a bit uneasy.

"It's one thing, to have your love unrequited. For the man you're in love with to be hopelessly smitten with someone else. But god, it's another for him to be right."

"Right?" Robin's voice doesn't betray anything as she keeps her tone to a careful academic neutrality.

"It's just...she is that wonderful. I can't be upset about it because I can't blame either of them. She's beautiful and kind and capable and he's...well. He's everything. It just makes sense. It's somehow harder not to be bitter because I really don't have anything to be bitter about, if that makes sense."

"It would make sense if anything you said was true." Zoro's voice is gruff,  and you look to him in surprise, only to find his expression mirroring your own, as though he can't believe he opened his mouth. "He sucks, and she's great and all but she's no angel. And they aren't in love anyway so I don't understand what the problem even is." You think he's trying to help. Sweet, if ineffective.

"He's in love with her. He has been since the day they met. You know that, you were there."

"That isn't love. He's just a horny idiot."

"He's not an idiot." You hate how defensive your tone gets, how pathetic it makes you feel. You hate even more that Zoro and Robin both look at you with undisguised pity.

"I think what Zoro is trying to say is that you seem to think his feelings for Nami go a lot deeper than they do. They're just friends. He just speaks to all women like that."

"Not me."

You all hate the silence that follows.

"He hits on you too." Zoro's voice is a little weaker than before, knowing his argument isn't exactly rock solid. He's kind to you, complimentary, but he's never rushed into battle alone to save you. He's never ridden in on a blazing white steed for you, not like he has Robin or Nami. And sure, you've never been kidnapped like them, but it's hard not to feel the difference when Mr Prince himself has never played his part with you. He's kind to you, so very kind, but he's kind to everyone. That's just who he is.

“You know it isn’t the same, Zoro. It’s always Nami first. It always has been. He talks to me the same way he would any woman. Less than that, even.” You start tearing up despite yourself, and you hope your friends will blame your fragility on your drink and not your tender heart. “He just…he doesn’t look at me like that. He doesn’t fall at my feet, and it’s not like I want him to but…” You break into a quiet sob, and Robin’s hand comes to your shoulder, rubbing calming circles there.

Zoro leans in a bit, clearly a little uncomfortable but worried and kind nonetheless. “That stupid cook cares about you a lot more than any stranger on the street, and I think you know that. He’s just an idiot.” You look up at him, confused, and Zoro tries not to let out an annoyed sigh at your obliviousness. It isn’t entirely your fault. Who could blame you for thinking what you did? It’s not like Sanji helped with that. He didn’t give you the dramatic love confessions he did Nami or Robin. Nami had asked him once why he sang your praises differently than he did theirs, and he had insisted that he would give you only the grandest speeches, once he had prepared words worthy of you. The rest of the crew quickly figured out what he really meant: he was too nervous to say such a thing when he really meant it.  He would instead tuck his love into the food and drinks he served you, into the jacket he placed over your shoulders when you were cold, into the gentle smiles he gave you when you weren’t looking. Everyone had agreed not to push him before he was ready, to let you both find your way to each other naturally, but it was becoming apparent this was the wrong move.

You keep crying into your glass, and Zoro sighs. You’re both ridiculous. What a pair.

Across the bar, Usopp lets out his fiftieth sigh of the night. He has no idea how he got roped into this. Sanji is somewhere between sorrow and rage, buried in a pile of empty glasses that reek of beer. He's been going on for at least fifteen minutes now, and if Usopp had even slightly less of a conscience he'd leave him here to wallow, considering his problem is entirely self-inflicted. But unfortunately, Usopp is a great friend, so instead he bravely sits on this barstool, a listening ear to make sure Sanji's drowning his troubles doesn't end in Sanji himself drowning after he stumbles his way home alone.

"It's not right." Sanji's voice is shaky with emotion, even with his words slurred.

Usopp sighs, pretending he hasn't heard this exact line of conversation three times tonight. "What's not right, buddy?"

"He doesn't...he doesn't deserve her. He isn't good enough for her. That stupid swordsman...what does she see in him?" He takes another swig of his drink, letting out a deep sigh and dropping his shoulders. "He's just...he's not even nice to her. Not like he should be."

"He's being nice to her right now." Usopp motions over to where you're having your own pity party, one Zoro seems to have become an unwilling guest of. Robin is patting your shoulder in sympathy, while Zoro leans closer to say something to you, care and concern obvious on his face to those who knew him.

"But he should worship her. Everyone should. She's...she's..." Sanji drunkenly trails off.

"An angel?"

"A goddess." Despite the glaze over his eyes, his conviction shines though, granting him a focus he hasn't had all night as he gazes at her. "Someone to be cherished, protected, adored. He doesn't adore her. He should be on his knees right now begging for her attention, and he's just...talking to her. Like he would anybody."

"Probably because they're friends."

"But look at her. She clearly wants more than that. She should get whatever she wants. On a silver platter." Sanji really emphasizes that last part, lips pouting and brow tightening. Usopp looks over again to see you about to cry into your drink, leaning further into Robin. You aren't even looking at Zoro right now, but Sanji is still burning with envy. Usopp would love to set him straight, tell him that anyone with eyes could see who's attention you really wanted, but he knows you'd kill him, and he quite likes being alive. Sanji's so filled with malice and self loathing right now that he probably wouldn't even believe him, anyway. For a man so delusional about love, he somehow can’t see it when it’s right in front of him.

“I think you’re a little lost here, Sanji. She’s not in love with Zoro. She’s just drunk and sad. Reminds me of someone else I know.” He keeps that last part under his breath, and Sanji is drunk enough not to have heard it. Instead he frowns, taking another swig of his drink before trying to stand and falling directly into the counter. Your head pops up across the room, eyes wide and concerned, ready to leap to Sanji’s rescue. It’s amazing how blind that man must be to not see how obsessed with him you are. Usopp waves you off before hooking his hands under Sanji’s armpits and hauling him up. “Time to go, loverboy. You’ve had enough.”

“But she needs me!” Sanji struggles, but he’s so drunk he can’t properly utilize his strength. Lucky, or he’d already be halfway across the room to make an ass of himself. Usopp notices a small trickle of blood on his forehead from where he made contact with the bar.

“She’s fine, I promise. But you need to take a trip to see Chopper.”

“I need to help her! I can’t leave a lady in distress!”

“The lady will be in a lot more distress if she sees you’re hurt, Sanji! So get moving!” Usopp starts dragging him unceremoniously from the tavern, praying Franky will still be awake when he gets back to the ship to help him maneuver Sanji into his cot. Sanji passes out about halfway back to the Sunny, mercifully. Usopp hopes Robin and Zoro are having a better time with their other drunken crewmate.

You wake up with a pounding headache and the worst case of dry-mouth you’ve ever experienced. Your eyes just barely crack open, letting in a blinding ray of light, and you let out a small groan of pain. There’s a large glass of water by your bedside and some pills, as well as a small note from Chopper telling you to meet him in the infirmary once you feel up to walking. You chug the water and take your medicine gladly, touched by the sweet gesture. Your crew takes such good care of you.

It takes a while for the medicine to kick in enough for the light to stop hurting, but eventually you’re able to stand. You can’t remember the latter half of last night, your last memory being Sanji slamming his head into the counter while Robin and Zoro held you back from running to him. Zoro had supplied you with another drink then, and Robin had asked you more probing questions, but you could not for the life of you remember any other specifics. You make your way to Chopper’s infirmary so lost in thought you didn’t notice the mischievous looks in the eyes of your crewmates, the way their gazes subtly followed you as you walked.

“Chopper?” Your voice is still a little hoarse from having cried your heart out last night. You slip through the door, expecting to find your dear doctor ready to fuss over you and scold you for overdoing it last night. Instead you find Sanji face first in a bed, a small bandage wrapped around his head. Before you can ask if he’s alright, or if he knows where Chopper is, you hear it.

Click.

Your eyes widen. Your hand reaches for the doorknob, ready to turn it, and you find it doesn’t budge.

“What the fuck?”

Sanji groans again, slowly and carefully sitting up, before looking over at you. “What are you doing here, darling?” He looks at your hand, up at your expression, then back down to the doorknob. “Why…why is the doorknob backwards?”

Instead of the lock being where it should be, you find the keyhole on the inside of the door. There’s slight scratches around the nails holding it and place, and you realize someone has turned it around. There’s a quiet murmur of voices on the other side of the door, which turns to a yelp when you punch the wood. “What the hell is this?”

“We’re helping!” Nami’s voice rings out confidently from the other side, and you hear a few noises of agreement.

“With what, exactly?” You have a horrible sinking feeling you know exactly what they’re going to say, but you try to push it out of your mind, channeling the relentless optimism of your captain.

“We’re tired of you two being idiots!” Zoro’s voice is annoyed and unfriendly, but after a moment it slightly softens. “Just…talk to each other. Like people. For once in your lives.”

You don’t know why, but something about that makes Sanji’s brow twitch in annoyance. “Let us out, mosshead! I knew you were awful but I can’t believe you’d trap a lady!”

“It wasn’t my goddamn idea! Blame Nami!”

Sanji pauses in his yelling at that, but shockingly enough, he still seems upset instead of instantly kowtowing. He frowns, forehead wrinkling, but doesn’t say anything else.

“We aren’t letting you out until you’ve talked. We’re gonna go so you have privacy, but if you break out we’re putting you right back in, so don’t even think about just kicking down the door!” Nami’s voice is firm and commanding, and you find your shoulders slumping, knowing there’s no real point in fighting her. You’re both hungover, exhausted, and not in any state to continue the conflict. You sigh, making your way to a cot next to Sanji’s. You throw yourself down, the slight bounce you make on landing making you far more nauseous than it had any right to.

“Do you know what they want us to talk about?” Sanji sounds almost nervous, which surprises you. Does he know?

“I…have an idea. Do you?”

“I might.”

You both shift awkwardly in the silence that follows. You fidget with your hands, curling in tighter, anxiety eating at you. This is it. This is the rejection you’ve been waiting for. The final blow to shatter your fragile hopes, to crush your remaining optimism and the wonderful future you’ve allowed yourself to keep dreaming of.

“What do you see in him?” Sanji’s voice is quiet and seeping with vulnerability. His eyes are closed, as though he’s scared to even look at you and get your answer.

“What do I see in who?”

“In that stupid swordsman. Why do you care about him?”

“What?” You blink owlishly.

He finally looks up at you. He blinks back. “What do you mean, what?”

“Why are you talking to me like I’m dating Zoro?”

“Are you…not? Trying to do that?”

“No! God no! I’m–” You barely hold yourself back from saying trying to date you. “I’m not into Zoro like that. Did you think I was?”

“I–um. No?” His dour look turns sheepish, a small bit of red painting his cheeks. Adorable.

“God, Sanji. Zoro is not my type.” You both sit for a moment, before you realize something. “Were you upset because you thought I was into him?”

“He isn’t good enough for you.” He says it so matter-of-fact, like it’s an obvious truth. “No one is, but especially not him. You deserve the best, and nothing less.”

Your heart flutters a little, that little thing with feathers worming its way back into you, but you suddenly see Nami’s face in your mind and you crush it. To dream and watch it die is far worse than never dreaming at all. “That’s sweet, Sanji. But you shouldn’t say things like that. You might give someone the wrong idea.”

His head cocks to the side. “What do you mean, wrong idea? You do deserve the best. No one in the world deserves it more than you.”

“What about Nami?”

“What about Nami?”

“Does she not deserve the best? More than I do? More than anyone? Your sweet Nami-swan?” You fail to keep the bitterness out of your tone in that. Not bitterness towards her, of course, or even towards Sanji, really, just a sour taste in your mouth you can’t quite shake.

His brow furrows, lips downturned. “Well she deserves the best too, of course, but why would she deserve it more? Why wouldn’t you deserve everything you want?”

You let out a frustrated growl. “That’s what I want to know! Why not me?” You slam your hand over your mouth. God, he knows, and now he’s going to reject you, so sweetly and kindly, like he does everything, and it’s going to shatter you into a million pieces. You squeeze your eyes shut like blocking out the sight of him will undo what you’ve just done.

You don’t hear him reject you. You don’t even hear him move. You only feel warm hands on your cheeks, and you open your eyes to see Sanji right in front of you, nose to nose, and you can see reflected in his eyes something you might dare to call hope.

“Do you want it to be you?” You hear a longing in his words, see it in his eyes. You have never known Sanji as a man to want, to desire more than what he’s freely given, but in this moment it truly almost seems like he wants you.

You slowly take your hand off of your mouth. Your voice is meek, mouselike, but you force it out anyway. “Would that be okay? If I did?”

“Oh angel, it would be more than okay.” He slides impossibly closer, thighs on either side of yours, torsos pressed together, surrounding you wholly. “It is you. It has always been you. It will always be you. Is that okay?”

You want to answer him in words, something articulate that would move his heart, but instead you let out a soft squeak of surprise before grabbing his cheeks and pulling his lips to yours. They’re chapped, the dehydration from the hangover still plaguing him. He has morning breath. His movements are uncoordinated, unsteady. His goatee scratches your chin. When he opens his mouth, welcoming you further, he tastes like cigarettes and a hint of shitty beer. 

It’s the best kiss you’ve ever had.

You end up on your back, Sanji’s weight holding you down, comforting and all-consuming. His hands rest on your hips as yours tangle in his hair. You only pull back when the demand for air is too much, and even then you consider ignoring the scream of your lungs. You both pull back, chests heaving, and Sanji buries his face in your neck.

“I never thought I’d actually get to do this.” He buries his nose further into your neck, his arms sliding underneath you to pull you into a tight embrace.

“Neither did I. I kept telling myself to stop dreaming about things I couldn’t have.”

“You’ve had me from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“You’ve had me for just as long.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

You take a strained breath. “I was…I don’t deserve you. And I thought you knew that. And that you were in love with Nami. That didn’t help.”

He pulls back to look you in the eyes, his gaze boring into you. “You thought you didn’t deserve me?” He sounds absolutely baffled at the idea.

“You’re kind, talented, strong, handsome…you’re everything, Sanji. You deserve everything you want. And I didn’t think you wanted me.”

He blinks at you for a moment, before a small chuckle forces its way out of him. “That’s…that’s so ridiculous I genuinely don’t even know where to start.”

He kisses your forehead. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I’m ever going to want.”

He kisses your cheeks. “I have wanted you from the moment we met, and I will want you until the day I die.”

He kisses the tip of your nose. “I have never met anyone more deserving of the world than you. And I’m not going to let anyone say otherwise. Even you. So there.”

You lean up to kiss his forehead in turn. “Well there’s nothing in this world I want more than you. Can I really have you?”

He takes one of your hands and places it over his rapidly beating heart. “You feel that? It’s all yours.” He lifts your other hand and kisses it in a deeply princely gesture that fits him perfectly.

Before you can reciprocate, the door slams open, and you hear Zoro’s disgruntled voice call out. “They’re making out! Can we be done with this now?”

Sanji whips around with even more vitriol than he usually reserves for the swordsman. “Piss off, mosshead. Can’t you see we’re busy?” The quick movement makes him sway slightly, and you’re forced to remember how horribly you’re both doing physically. If he picks a fight with Zoro right now he might end up puking all over his shoes.

“Ignore him, Sanji. We need to get some rest anyway.” You pull his face into your chest, which he gladly collapses fully into. When you run your fingers through his hair, he’s practically purring.

“Anything you say, my love.” His content smile grows wider when he hears your heart quicken at the words. Neither of you say anything else as your friends crowd the room, with their finallys and about times. Nothing in the world matters more than this right now: the feeling of each other’s warmth, the softness of each other’s skin, and the feeling of relief in both of your chests that your hopes were finally allowed to thrive.

[literary-lesbo]

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵

ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ! ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴜᴘ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀꜱ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ ᴘɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛ

𝘏𝘶𝘳𝘵/𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵

♡ "can you please come get me?"

♡ "hey, don't do that, you'll hurt yourself"

♡ "no, don't cry, I hate it when you cry"

♡ "you look sad"

♡ "oh god, you're bleeding"

♡ "I could just use a hug"

♡ "don't touch me"

♡ "it's okay, just breathe"

♡ "I'll stay for as long as you need"

♡ "you can trust me"

♡ "can I touch you? is that okay?"

♡ "you don't need to apologize, ever"

♡ "hey, hey, you're alright! it's okay, just calm down"

♡ "shh, shh, you're okay now"

♡ "here, hold my hand"

♡ "there's no shame in crying, I promise"

♡ "are you crying?"

♡ "you are what's important right now"

♡ "I've got nowhere else to be"

♡ "I'm at the hospital"

𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵

♡ "I don't want to die"

♡ "I was only using you"

♡ "stay away from me"

♡ "why am I always your second choice?"

♡ "we almost made it"

♡ "leave I don't want to see you"

♡ "why are you helping a monster?"

♡ "I'm barely holding on"

♡ "can I leave now?"

♡ "I guess that's just how little I meant to you"

♡ "I just want to know you care about me"

♡ "stop looking at me like I'm damaged goods"

♡ "there's no us and there never was"

♡ "you deserve so much better"

♡ "don't do this here"

♡ "am I too late?"

♡ "say something, just fucking say something"

♡ "I know. I know I wasn't enough. I always did"

♡ "I did care, I used to care"

𝘍𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧

♡ "shh, stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair"

♡ "can I borrow your sweater? it smells like you"

♡ "you're my new pillow"

♡ "I'll be here to protect you"

♡ "it's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway"

♡ "you make me so happy"

♡ "aww, you're blushing"

♡ "wait...is this a date?"

♡ "can I kiss you?"

♡ "I'm glad you came"

♡ "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified"

♡ "thank you for being her for me"

♡ "you're so pretty when you first wake up"

♡ "I want you to stay, please"

♡ "dance with me"

♡ "your eyes are so pretty"

♡ "is someone sleepy?"

♡ "can I kiss you?"

♡ "you're so warm"

♡ "this/these are my favorite"

𝘚𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘧𝘪𝘤

♡ “you’re sure I’m sick?  ‘cause I feel fine”

♡  “I really cannot be sick right now”

♡  “everyone gets colds.  I’ll live”

♡  “I really hope this is just my allergies”

♡  “stop thinking so loud; my head hurts”

♡ "I'm scared"

♡ "I can't even talk properly"

♡  "I feel like I'm letting everyone down"

♡ "you're making a big deal out of nothing"

♡ "I'm so tired..."

♡ "no, you're not fine. you're burning up”

♡ "you need to rest. I'll stay here with you until you feel better"

♡ “just let me take care of you"

♡ "here, take my blanket”

♡ “I’ll make some tea”

♡ “you're in no condition to go anywhere”

♡ “just rest and let your body fight this off"

♡ “take this medicine, please"

♡ "I'm here now”

♡ "right now, the only person you need to help is yourself”

[miley1442111]

hi ! can I request Derek Morgan x Pregnant! Reader?

Where reader is a couple days past her due date and is literally miserable and Derek’s lowkey frustrated because he’s tried every thing he can to help and he hates seeing his girl upset,

so they start looking up ways to help induce labor, and they try a few and none of them work, so reader gives up and starts to cry and Derek is there to reassure her that everything is gonna be okay,

& that he read somewhere that s*x induces labor and it’s turns into light fluffy smut?

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a/n: i love this idea, probably didn't do it justice, also my most sincere apologies for letting this rot in my inbox for so long :)

summary: derek has to do something when you're 3 days past your due date

pairings: derek morgan x fem! wife! pregnant! reader

warnings: pregnancy issues, smut (lowkey praise kink but wtv), going into labour

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It would be an understatement to say that being pregnant sucked. 

You were tired, you were achy, you couldn’t do anything, you couldn’t sleep, and you were literally 3 days past your due date, with no end in sight. 

Fuck this stupid baby, and fuck your stupid husband for getting you pregnant in the first place. 

---------------------

 You sat in your bed, miserable and in pain as Derek held you in his arms. He was annoyed. He could see how much pain you were in, and knew how much pain you’d be in soon when you had to give birth. He just… he wanted it to stop. So he looked up methods of inducing labour. 

“Apparently spicy food helps with inducing labour,” he muttered as he mindlessly rubbed his hand over your stomach. 

“I’ll try anything at this point,” you said in a small voice and Derek’s heart shattered. 

“I’ll order something,” he nodded and you offered a meek ‘thank you’. He ordered the spiciest things on your local Mexican place’s menu, and waited eagerly for its arrival. When it did come, he plated it and watched as you ate it.

Nothing. Not even a contraction. 

“Fuck’s sake,” you groaned, washing your hands after eating. “Now I just feel fucking sick.”

“I’m sorry baby,” he sighed, pulling you in to give you a soft but reassuring kiss. “The next thing on the list is physical exercise.”

That was not met with much enthusiasm, but you obliged anyway. You got on the treadmill that lives in your home-gym, and ran for 30 minutes. 

Still nothing. 

Derek watched as your frustrated face turned into the one you make before you cry, and his heart shattered a second time. “Come here baby,” he sighed and pulled you into his arms, pressing kisses to your forehead as you cried. He whispered words of reassurance and love,but you couldn’t stop crying. You were in so much pain, you were so tired, and you just wanted this baby out. You wanted to see your little girl and hold her. 

“What’s next on the list?” You asked between sobs. 

“Sex.”

You looked up at him, drying your eyes. “Sex?”

“Sex,” he nodded. “But if you’re not up to it we can-”

“Derek Morgan, this baby is coming out of me today or so help me god, I will hurt someone,” you swore. Derek nodded quickly and took your hand, leading you to your bedroom. 

“What’s safe for the baby?” You asked him timidly as he undressed you. 

“Spooning, if that’s comfortable,” he offered. He’d done so much research about how to help you, it almost made you sob all over again. Stupid pregnancy hormones. 

“That sounds nice,” you swallowed back the lump in your throat as Derek smiled at you, then pressed soft kisses to your bare collarbone.

“So pretty for me,” he cooed. “My beautiful girl.”

You both laid down on the bed as he kissed you, whispering words of encouragement. God he was so attractive like this, taking care of you, loving you. You were getting ridiculously wet.

“I’m going to be real gentle, okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded as his hands started kneading the plump of your ass. 

“You feeling alright?”

“Good, just please- do something,” you begged and he chuckled. 

“Already beggin’ for me? God you’re perfect,” he kissed your cheek as he slowly slipped inside you. You let out a series of moans as his long cock filled you up, while his hands groped your body. “That’s it, good girl. Take all of me.”

He slowly started moving as you squirmed and moaned under his thrusts. 

“Come on, you’re so good for me baby. Doin’ so good babygirl,” he groaned. “So pretty around my cock.”

You felt yourself clench at his words. Then it happened. Your water broke. 

“Oh my god!” You shouted, immediately getting off of the bed and running to get your clothes on. Derek smiled as he watched you. 

“It worked?”

“It worked!” You chuckled, then the contractions came in, ruining the moment. You hunched over and leaned on the bed and Derek started getting dressed. 

“Come on mama, we gotta get you to the hospital,” he smiled as he helped you out. 

---------------------

Twelve hours later, you two welcomed your first little girl, Emily Morgan. 

Derek already wanted another one.

---------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)

cm taglist

@khxna

[linos-luna]

If your not too busy, can I request and Yandre smut with Seungmin, kinda like he’s a perv best friend type thing, the thought of it has been driving me nuts, only if you can or want to, love your work 🧡

Love the idea ☺️

————————————————————

Staring ❣️🔪

Yandere!Perv!Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Yandere! , smut, implied drugging, groping, masterbating?

——————————————— 🧡

Seungmin knew it was a problem. You two have been friends for years and for whatever reason he couldn’t get himself to officially ask you out for a date. It’s not like you’d reject him, especially since you just broke up with a boyfriend. But there was some sort of sick thrill he got from thinking and looking you the way he does without you knowing. Maybe one day he’ll finally do it…

But right now, he felt a little bad. Here you were, telling him about your mixed emotions from the break up and all he was paying attention to was your chest.

You had invited him over to hang out and just vent and Seungmin didn’t mind. He’s been over many times before and you were comfortable at home so you wore some sweatpants and a shirt with no bra. It wasn’t anything scandalous but every once in a while, the shirt would lay flat against your chest, making your nipples show through the fabric. Honestly, you didn’t even notice… but Seungmin did.

“I don’t even know why I’m so upset… he was awful to me.” You frowned while wiping a tear from your cheek. “Literally the worst!”

“Don’t cry, y/n…” Seungmin said while gently rubbing your knee. “It’s normal to feel like this. “You were in that relationship for a good amount of time.”

Seungmin hated your ex. He wanted you to break it off for so long. He wanted to hurt that ex so bad. He didn’t like that man being intimate with you. Seungmin liked watching you pleasure yourself, that other man just got in the way. He has so many pictures…. Beautiful pictures… he can just get lost in the thought of them.

You sighed, knowing that he’s right. It startled the man a bit as he was snapped out of his thoughts. Tears rolled down your cheeks, some, dripping go your shirt before you leaned back on the couch. Seungmin noticed the wet fabric sticking to your skin… and he couldn’t look away. Instead, he continued to rub your knee and move up your thigh but you were too emotional to notice.

“Anyways… I’m sorry for dumping all that on you… you’re probably sick of me now.” You said with a frown. “It’s getting late. You probably wanna go home now…”

“I’m not sick of you.” Seungmin replied. It’s okay to rant. We all need to rant sometimes…” He stood up and paused, thinking of something. “Hey y/n?”

“Yes?”

“I’m really tired. Not sure I wanna drive back home.” He chuckled. “Mind of if I stay over? I can get comfortable on the couch.”

“Oh sure!” You smiled. I’ll get you some blankets and pillows.”

Seungmin smiled as you went to the closet to look for the items. He looked through his bag and found what he needed.

“Hey, do you want some water before bed?”

“Oh sure, I’ll get it—”

“Oh no it’s okay. I’ll get it!” He interrupted. “Just finish what you’re doing.”

“Oh okay.”

~~~~ 🧡

Seungmin gave you the glass of water before you went to get ready for bed. As you got changed, you took a few sips, humming softly while moving some hair from your face and removing any jewelry.

Seungmin waited patiently. He stuffed a small ziplock bag back in his bag, seemingly proud of what he’s done. Now all he needed to do was wait. And it didn’t take too long. You don’t even have the energy to turn off your lamp before passing out on the bed, hand next to the empty glass.

Once knowing you were asleep, Seungmin quietly creeped in and looked at your sleeping form. The covers were at your hips and shirt slightly raised.

So beautiful… he thought to himself as he gently lowered the sheets and moved your arm to your side.

“My god…” the man whispered to himself. “How come you’re so hot..? So sexy….” He grunted a bit, as if frustrated. “You do this on purpose… you let that other man fuck you… fuckin disgusting…”

His fingers traced your stomach before lifting your shirt over your bare breasts. He paused for a moment, his hand hovering over your cold hard nipple. “You don’t mind, hm? I mean… you are mine…”

He lightly groped your breasts, taking a deep breath as he felt himself getting aroused so quickly. “G-god, y/n… the things you do to me…”

You let out a small moan as he squeezed your breast a bit hard. It was making Seungmin lose it; his pants were incredibly tight and uncomfortable.

“F-fuckin bitch…” he grunts. “You do this on purpose…”

Seungmin couldn’t help himself. He was rubbing his bulge over his pants while taking deep breaths.

You only moved slightly, a light moan escaped your lips but not much else. But even that slightest noise was getting Seungmin way too worked up.

The man continued tracing his fingers down your body, pausing at your panties. He found the frilly pink material so cute.

“Why oh why…” he sighed while rubbing the material. “Why did you let such a man touch you… he was stupid….” Seungmin continued rubbing circles around your clothed cunt. “You were always mine… I know everything about you… and yet… you never gave me a chance…”

Again, you let out more breathy moans but still unmoving.

“Even while sleeping, you’re getting wet.” He chuckled. “You really are desperate for me huh?”

Slowly and gently, he slid the pink panties off of you and quickly slipped it in his pocket. He was mesmerized by the way your slick wetness stuck to the material. it was making his face hot and it took everything in him not to fuck you right then and there. He could wait to use them later.

Seungmin then moved the blanket back over your waist and took your limp arm. “I know you’re desperate. But do you know how desperate you make me?” He asked as if you were actually supposed to answer. “Well. You can feel.”

He unzipped his jeans and moved your limp hand to his boxers, touching it to his hardened bulge over the material.

“Maybe by the end of the night you’ll realize…” he paused and took deep breaths as he moved your hand. “Y-you’ll realize… you’re mine… and only… mine…”

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 || dark!joel miller x reader

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 || he told you he'd never let you go, but it hadn't sounded like a threat at the time— it sounded like pillow talk, like sweet nothings. you should've believed him; you should've known escape wasn't an option from a man like joel miller.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 || a bit over 3k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 || smut (18+ only; noncon/heavy dubcon, bondage, forced breeding), stalking/yandere, possessiveness, past/described character death, "bunny" as a pet name (with a couple "baby"s and "babygirl"s in there), angst, gaslighting/manipulation

“How’d you find me here?”

His face was straight and stoic.  Last time, he’d smirked when you asked that— like he was proud of himself.  Now, he was just tired.  Tired of chasing you, tired of your constant yet fruitless search for freedom. 

Tired, and angry.

“I’m persistent,” was his flat reply.

“Well, doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, “doesn’t change anything— same as before, it’s over.”

“Why?”

“You know why,” you shot back instantly, “and I’m not explaining this shit you again.  You don’t fucking own me.”

“So all those things you said— that we said?” Joel hissed, stepping forward, making you feel cornered in your own tiny room.  It wasn’t much, but it was your own, and you loved it for that.  You’d spent the last month making it feel like home, and now you’d have to leave it all again, have to run from him again.  “What was that, then? All just bullshit?”

“I— that was a different time, I was a different person,” you sighed.  “So were you.”

“Said you loved me,” he recalled.

“I didn’t even know you,” you snapped.  “You aren’t who I thought you were…”

He stepped up to you again, and you reached for your belt— but he grabbed your wrist before you could grab the knife.  “Whatcha gonna do with that, bunny?” he cooed, sickly-sweet.

“Don’t call me that,” you whimpered, trying to wriggle out of his grasp but only hurting your wrist more.  “You can’t call me that anymore…”

“Gonna hurt me, bunny?” he continued, pulling you closer until you had to bite down on your shaking lip— you didn’t want him to see you cry, again.  Because even after everything, when you cried, you still wanted him most— you still craved his comfort, even knowing that it was all lies.  He was sick and twisted, you knew that, but he looked just like the man you fell in love with— he smelled like him, he had his warmth and strength, and your body sometimes longed to wrapped up in his arms again even if your heart ached remembering what he’d done.  “Y’already hurt me as bad as you ever could.  And I still love you.”

You shook your head, tears starting to roll, as he pressed his face against your head and took in a deep breath beside your hair.  “You never l-loved me,” you hiccuped, “you don’t— you don’t do what you did to people you love—”

“I didn’t do anything to you,” he defended, “just made sure nobody would try to keep us apart, s’all.  M’sorry for what happened to your brother, too, but you know I only did what I had to.”

“Shut up,” you pleaded, trying to pull away again.

“You know he stepped up on me,” he continued anyways, “you know he said I couldn’t be trusted, that I wasn’t good enough for you— and I couldn’t just let him say that shit.”

“Stop, stop talking,” you begged, shutting your eyes tight and trying so hard not to see it again— your brother on the ground, his face red and bruises already forming on his neck, Joel standing over him catching his breath.  “Y-you just did it b-because he was all I had left,” you said, mostly reminding yourself.  “That was the only reason my brother died.  Because you needed to be the only thing I loved.”

“He was a piece of shit!” Joel barked, making you cry harder.  “He was nothing, okay?  I’m your everything—”

“No, no—”

“You said that!  And he was gonna try to take you away from me!”

“Because I told him I was scared of you,” you explained.

“So it’s your fault— you killed him,” Joel insisted as you tried to cover your face with your spare hand.  “Shouldn’t’ve told him that, bunny… shouldn’t’ve let him try to steal you, you know I couldn’t let you go— you know I can’t let go of what’s mine…”

He always got in your head so quickly; he'd carefully built his control over your mind in the year you'd been together, and it took a while to break out of it once you'd left.  But even still, you'd never stopped looking over your shoulder— every time he tracked you down, you made another escape and started all over.  But it didn't usually last too long.

“That’s why I’m just gonna keep finding you, bunny.  ‘Cause you’re mine.  So will you just stop runnin’ from me?”

You tried to take a deep breath, fighting to get enough air in your lungs to speak, but it all still came out as a shaky whisper: “I’m not… I’m not yours anymore,” you informed him weakly.

“Let me tell you somethin’,” he said— calm at first, but suddenly getting angrier as he sneered and yanked you closer.  “Somethin’ you’re gonna be better off the sooner you accept it: you’ll always be mine.”

You whimpered as he spun you around, embracing you— or was he constricting you? — as your back pressed against his broad chest.

"Need me to remind you?" he purred in your ear, and you struggled harder against his grip.

"No, Joel— don't—" you pleaded.

"Need to remember who you belong to?" he pressed again, reaching down to start unbuttoning your jeans.  "M'gonna help you, bunny, it's okay— you're not gonna forget again."

"Please," you whined, shivering when he started to tug your pants down— it was cold in here, and even his warm fingers weren't enough when the draft hit your bare thighs.  "Joel, don't have to do this— let's just talk, we can talk—"

"Too late for that," he shook his head, groaning as he cupped your sex in his rough hand.  "Tried to talk to you already, when we talk you start fuckin' lyin' to me— callin' me a monster just 'cause I love you.  Sayin' you don't love me anymore… but your body doesn't lie, baby, feel that?"

He'd pushed your panties down and was sliding his fingers between your lips, purring as he roughly explored the slick folds of skin.  Your stomach sank and your chest felt hollow— even with everything he'd done, you never thought he'd do this to you…

"Oh, fuckin' wet," he noticed with a sickening grin that you could hear in his voice.  You turned your face away but he grabbed it with his free hand and turned you back to look at him.  "Kiss me," he ordered.

Slamming his lips on yours, you whined and tried to pull away.  He kept kissing you anyways, lips and tongue overwhelming yours, indifferent to your resistance.

"Don't be like that, bunny," he pouted when you managed to wrench your head back— he started kissing your jaw and neck next, rubbing circles on your clit with two fingers.  "You just need to remember how good it is to be mine— just relax, baby, just let me help you—"

But when you tried to kick at his legs, a desperate attempt for a chance to flee, he got angry again and threw you face-down onto your bed.

"Please, don't," you sobbed, but he was already behind you, grabbing your wrists and holding them down over your head.

You cried harder when he let go with one hand, and you heard the slide of leather on denim as he took his belt off.

Crying harder, you felt him lean over you and wrap the belt around your wrists, tying them together tightly.  You were begging incoherently, too scared to try to fight against the leather on your wrists but hating how it felt to be restrained (especially in such a crude way).

A moment later, he tugged you down so that you were bent over the side of the bed while he stood behind you, and he started to open his own jeans.

A shudder crawled over you when you felt his cock rub up against your ass, a low groan coming from behind you as he ran his hand over your back— maybe just to touch you, maybe to hold you down.

"Joel, I'm sorry," you whispered, "I'm sorry, I won't leave again, I swear…"

He hummed happily, but didn't stop.

"Just please stop," you requested weakly.  "I'll be yours again, but you— you're hurting me…"

"Only 'cause you made me," he accused with a growl.  "If this is what you need to know whose you are, then I'm gonna hurt you."

"No— you don't need to do that, I-I know now, I swear…"

You heard him spit, then the wet sounds of him spreading the fluid on his cock, and you buried your face in the sheets.  "It's gonna be okay, bunny," he promised, just before he shoved himself inside you.

He used to be so tender, so delicate with you.  For all his mood swings and violent tendencies, he'd always made love to you so sweetly.  You couldn't believe that was the same man as the one holding you down now, forcing his cock deeper and grunting loudly as you whined in pain. 

"You can take it," he informed you coldly, already moving far too fast and slamming to the deepest parts of you each time.  "Same dick you used to beg for all the time, don't act so fuckin' hurt when I know you like this."

His hands moved to your shoulders, holding them tightly as he found his pace; you heard every moan, every heavy breath, even though you wanted so much to try to ignore it all.  The most difficult thing to ignore, of course, was how it felt: the sting of being stretched around him, the soreness where he dug his fingers into your skin, the sick pleasure you hated yourself for noticing.

"God, I missed this," he groaned.  "Missed having this little pussy around me— I'm gonna make you feel so good, bunny, gonna take care of you like I promised."

He laid himself down over you, pressing you down deeper into the mattress, and spoke right by your ear.

"Used to say nobody else ever made you feel like I did," he purred.  "You remember that?  Was that even true, or were you a liar then, too?"

"N-no, I never lied to you, Joel," you tried to defend yourself— but then he moved his hips just right and forced you to take even more of him than you thought possible, and your voice fell into a whine.

"What about when you said we'd always be together, huh?" he prompted with disdain in his voice.  "I told you I needed you, bunny.  M'fuckin' nothin' without you, you know that— and then you left me.  How could you break my heart like that, babygirl?"

"I'm sorry," you cried, "I-I was just scared… you… you killed my brother, Joel.  I hate you for that."

"I know," he soothed, "I know— but I can't lose you.  I'm sorry, bunny, I can't let you go."

Unfortunately, that you knew; and in a way, you understood.  You just wished this wasn't your fate, that you might have a chance to be free— that just wasn't in the cards for the girl Joel Miller loved.  He'd let a lot of things slip away from him in this life and you were not going to be next on that list.

After a while, it started to feel familiar; it reminded you of how it used to be, when things felt so simple and you had no idea what was around the corner.  Your body relaxed under his, your legs stopped flailing and your grip on the sheets loosened… you went limp, the struggle leaving you as another instinct took over.

Slipping his arms under you, he held you tightly, breathing heavily into the crook of your neck.  The sickest part was how easy it was to let his praises wash over you.

“That’s my good girl,” he whispered to you, “that’s my good bunny— just like that, lemme take care a’you…”

All your energy was focused on not letting him hear how it affected you, how easily he could reclaim your body.  You’d been running for months— almost two since you’d seen him last, when he tracked you down to Michigan and you only got away cause you had a friend with a car— and he had you back under his thumb in minutes.  Maybe he was right: you’d always be his, no matter what anyone did.  Even your own brother couldn’t save you.

“I betcha missed me, too,” Joel mumbled in your ear.  “Betcha got lonely, huh, bunny?  I’m here now, never letting you go again, I swear— can’t live without you… we need each other.  You need me.”

It was so strange to you, how he could sound so sweet and then so livid in just a moment.

“Just admit it, baby,” he encouraged— but it was an order, you weren’t too far gone to know that.

“I need you,” you whispered hoarsely.

“Louder,” he demanded.

“I ne—” you choked, having to stop and start over because your voice was broken from crying.  “I need you, Joel.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and his thrusts picked up in speed.  You could hear the sound of skin slapping on skin— of your wet channel betraying the way you actually did need him.  “Yeah, fuck,” he repeated, “s’my girl… always ready for me, huh?  Such a needy fuckin’ pussy y’got…”

He was moving harder and faster than ever, but his thrusts were more shallow than before— he usually started by savoring you, pulling out to the very tip and sliding back in so he could feel you on every inch of his cock.  But then he got into this sort of mood, where he could barely bring himself to pull out at all— said it felt too good inside you to leave— and so it was more like grinding, staying deep in you and letting just the base of him thrust in and out.  It was so deep it made your head spin, but you couldn’t do anything but lay there.  Lay there and realize that it was too late to stop him, or to stop yourself from what was about to happen.

You hoped if you didn't make a sound, he wouldn't notice.  You used to always tell him when you were coming, because he told you to: coming, Joel, you're gonna make me come— please don't stop—

But he noticed, even without all that fanfare.  Even if only a suppressed whine echoed in your throat, he felt the way your body reacted when he brought you to the peak.

"Mm," he hummed proudly, "y'see?  See how your body remembers?  Fuck, love feelin' it when ya come, babydoll.  Love feeling that li'l cunt squeeze me."

After you’d come, though, you became far too sensitive— everything was just too much, all at once, and your whole body began to shake.  He didn’t slow down, he wasn’t fazed at all, but you were so overcome you could barely choke out your plea for mercy: “J-Joel, please… s’too much, I jus’... I need a second—”

“Shh,” he interrupted.  “Still teachin’ you your lesson, bunny.”

“No, fuck,” you gasped, “Joel, I… I can’t…”

“Can’t take it?” he finished for you.  “Can’t take any more of this?  This is what you wanted, though.  Isn’t that why you made me come all this way?  Made me chase you all over the fuckin’ country just so I could get my girl back?

"I won't leave Joel, just stop—"

"I know," he groaned.  "I know you won't leave me again, especially when you're pregnant."

"What?  Joel, no—"

"Shh, shh," he soothed, gripping your hips tighter.

"Joel, don't—"

Your begs were accompanied by your shaking hands trying to somehow wiggle their way out of the belt, but both were useless.  He was so much stronger, his weight kept you pinned so easily that you felt like you couldn't breathe; his hips drove into yours over and over, every movement like another punch to the gut and a stab to the heart.  “Just take it, baby,” he demanded, though the tone of his voice was sweet— rough, but sweet.  “Just trust me.”

I don’t trust you, you wanted to scream, I can’t trust you.  But it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway, if you could even pull yourself together enough to speak.

"We're gonna be together, like you said," he promised, his voice a deep growl as he fought his way to the peak of pleasure, slamming into you ruthlessly.  "Me an' you, and our baby.  Gonna make you so happy, bunny, gonna take care of you— and we're gonna be a family—"

"Please,” you breathed, “let's just— just talk about this first…"

"And you'll be mine forever, y'hear me?  You're never gonna try to fuckin' leave again."

You shook your head, exhausted and overwhelmed and giving in completely to the fact that he did own you, even after you insisted that he didn't.

"Say it."

"I won't try to leave you again," you promised, the words like poison in your throat but music to his ears.  "I love you, Joel… you know I love you…"

"I love you too, bunny," he returned, holding onto you tighter.  "So much— more than you can imagine."

You were numb, barely in reality, as he filled you; you could feel his cock flexing inside you and you hated the way it made your walls pulse— it showed how your body craved what your mind feared.  

“Baby…” he groaned, that heavy satisfaction in his voice as he sunk down on top of you.  You’d been waiting for him to pull out, disgusted that he was still inside you and hoping that you could sneak off to the bathroom to try to clean yourself out; but, he stayed inside, and relaxed even further as he stayed laying on top of you.

Staring off into space, you tried to shut your eyes but it burned.  So you just blinked through the pain and wished against everything that this was some horrible dream.

If it was, it felt more real than anything ever had.  He kissed your face gently, wiping the last of your tears away with his thumb.  "Shh, it's okay, little bunny… everything's gonna be okay now," he soothed in a whisper.  “You won’t have to be alone anymore.  It’s gonna be how it’s supposed to— how we said it would: you and me, forever.  Okay?”

It wasn’t a dream, but the way you spoke and moved without even thinking first sort of felt like one; “Okay,” you mumbled weakly as you nodded.

He smiled proudly down at you.  “Now let’s get you home, bunny.”

[bhaalspawn300]

My love is sick

Astarion x GN Tav

Summary- From knowing nothing but pain to suddenly being treated with care Astarion can’t help but feel like there’s always a shoe waiting to drop…

Notes- kind of a wee venty work….im sorry…I will write fluff….at somepoint…anyway its midnight rn and I’ve typed this on my phone so apologises if theirs Grammer mistakes I’ll fix them tomorrow on my laptop lel

Sickly sweet.

That’s the only way Astarion can describe how he feels hearing how soft Tav speaks to him. Every soft spoken words of reassurance makes him feel sick, every comforting touch burns his skin, every kind action from them makes him feel disgusted, after everything they know about him from his time under Cazador, to the many lives he ruined using his charms after everything they both and their party have been through how can they still look at him with those eyes full of love? It disgusts him.

It disgusts Astarion to his very core that their wasting their time with him, he expects them to use him or grow tired of him but yet their still here, their still by his side after breaking his trance from the nightmares, they still offer their blood to him when needed, they still offer a shoulder for him to cry on, it truly turns his stomach that someone who radiates as much love and warmth as the sun would even spare him a second glance

“-Starion is everything okay? You’ve been glaring at your glass for the last minuet”

Shaking himself free from his thoughts he looks towords them only to be met with those eyes of concern

“I know the wine isn’t the best but I don’t think the glass deserves that glare”

Avoiding their eyes astarion can’t help but let out a sigh of frustration as he hears Tav continue to speak with nothing but kindness his anger and fear begin to bubble past boiling point as he is unable to contain his emotions as he slams the cup in the table before letting all his anger and fear come pouring out

“PLEASE JUST STOP”

Unable to hold in all the feelings Astarion can feel himself begin to spill out all his thoughts he’s tried to keep at bay and unable to stop

“JUST STOP TREATING ME AS A EQUAL CAUSE WE BOTH KNOW THAT ITS A LIE”

Feeling the air in the air turn to ice and feeling the eyes of their companions on them Tav just stays silent while letting Astarion unleash everything

“WHY DO YOU STILL PRETEND TO CARE?! IS IT FOR THE PITTY POINTS?! FOR THE THRILL OF HAVINF A VAMPIRE SPAWN IN YOUR PARTY”

“Of course not Star please jus-“

“WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH FOR A BROKEN SPAWN LIKE ME?!”

Feeling himself struggle to keep the tears at bay and clenching his fists even harder he can’t help but to look to the ground to avoid their look of pity

“I’m not even useful anymore so why do you still care”

Slowly raising from their chair and making their way over to Astarion, gently taking his hand into their own running their thumbs alongside his knuckles

“My star I do not pretend to care about you for pity nor to use you, I’m sorry that no one else has shown you such care and love in 200 years”

Placing a small kiss to his knuckles they let one of his hands free bring their hand to cup his face to slowly wipe his tears away

“I wish you could see yourself how I see you, I love you more than the gods, I’d fight the nine hells and back just to prove to you how much my heart is yours”

Snapping his head up to meet their eyes for the first time in what feels like forever Astarion can’t help but look at them with eyes full of hope but still holding a sense of fear

“For as long as I live and breath you own my heart Astarion not out of pity nor greed but for love, I’ll always be here for you and with you for as long as you’ll have me”

Feeling his lip tremble he can’t help but squeeze their hand as reassurance,

Smiling towards him and asking for his permission before making their way closer and bringing him into a warm embrace Astarion finally lets go of all the pain and doubt he felt as he also lets out a small apology for his outburst as he melts into the embrace while Tav holds him securely while playing with the curls in his

“I hope it’s okay for me to love you forever my star”

[99zurins]

summary: wonwoo knows a lot, especially how your thoughts get into your head. when he knows you had a bad week, he wants to shower you with the gentle love you always give him when his thoughts get into his head.

note: god its been ages since i posted but alas!! this was a request for a friend of mine, and it helped me get out of my writing slump. enjoy <3

pair: f!reader x jeon wonwoo

tags: soft bf!wonwoo, SMUT (minors dni), communication during sex, kink exploration, spit, slight choking, dirty talk, slight degradation, multiple positions (sorta), safe sex, oral (both m. and f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), orgasm denial, edging, pet names (wonwoo calls reader baby, sweetheart, good girl, princess), soft dom!wonwoo, reader goes into subspace, wonwoo takes care of reader, reader works at a clinic

word count: 6.9k

[ wonu : babe

wonu: how are you feeling? ]

like shit, you want to text him. i’m not ok. so much, too much, is happening all at once your brain doesn’t know what to process first. it’s been like this from monday morning: you were short-staffed because three co-workers got sick, people kept complaining about the wait times, what could you do, you just work here. tuesday to thursday was absolute hell: how does someone mess up inventory TWICE? your co-worker doesn’t know shit. how did she get hired anyway! you don’t want to even think about friday’s disaster. you called in sick today, because fuck the clinic, and made sure you swapped your closing shift at the bookstore with someone else. your head is in chaos, all while managing a terrible migraine.

from the tylenol, the long naps, to the drops of essential oil on your pillow– none of it isn’t even helping.

you haven’t spoken to your boyfriend for a few days, there’s the i love yous, occasional memes or cat pics he sends, but it’s been quiet. he’s been busy too, he got hired by a better design company, meaning better schedules and much well-deserved salary, and has been finishing up his last few shifts on his secondary job at a milk tea shop. but since he’s one of the long time workers at the shop, he’s been busy training newbies to replace him, hence why he’s been awake earlier than you, and comes home so late. you know he’s home when he quietly slips into bed after a shower, snuggling you from behind, holding your small frame. but you miss the cuddles when you play games together, the shared silence with him, looking at dumb cat videos. everything about him, really, you miss. even though you live with him now.

[wonu: are you at your bookstore job tonight?]

you first tell a truth: you called in sick for both of your jobs. then, you lie, saying your friend-slash-coworker is coming over to talk about stuff.

[wonu: don’t lie to me

wonu: babe

wonu: i know you had a bad week]

it was just busy, you respond. you’re busy, baby. you’re probably tired too. we can talk about this later.

[wonu: i’m not ever tired when it comes to you

wonu: i’m gonna leave work right now

wonu: idc]

you feel tears well up. you not replying back is all he needs to know.

wonwoo shows up in twenty minutes, holding a bag of takeout, bubbletea, and a cute stuffed animal. you wondered how on earth did he get here so fast, considering it takes him about thirty-five minutes to get to back home, but you’re too tired to say anything. all he does is give you a hug, plant a soft kiss on your head, and you try really hard not to cry. he does the thing where he scratches softly under your chin, like how he usually would greet a cat, while your head leans into his chest.

“hi baby,” wonwoo finally speaks, giving you a soft smile. it fades when his cold fingertips linger around your cheekbones, and stops below your dark circles. “long week?”

“mm.” you try to pretend everything is okay. he knows you aren’t. he places more gentle kisses between your eyes and on the bridge of your nose.

“was hoping you would tell me, actually.” wonwoo quietly locks the front door, takes off his shoes, and you quickly scramble to find him some house sandals that would fit him. “baby, it’s okay, I don’t need slippers. none of them fit me, remember?”

wonwoo doesn’t wear the house slippers because the five house pairs are all yours. you insist on getting him a pair, he always refuses. you cough out a laugh, and you hear wonwoo giggle.

“right, i forgot, sorry,” you mumble. “what food did you get?”

“i got you your favourite,” pho from the restaurant where you had your first date with him in. it’s his favourite, too, “i got us a matcha cake slice and a strawberry one to share, too.” cakes from the cafe on the third date.

you nod quietly, and you watch him leave the takeout on the table. he pulls out a container (which is most likely the cakes), and grabs the two plastic forks.

“wonwoo, i’m not…” hungry, you trail off, you weren’t in the mood to eat, but wonwoo looks over at you, with such tenderness. his black turtleneck hugs his torso nicely, square glasses makes him look like a nerd, when did he get a haircut? and he looks over at you, attentive and with endearment. sometimes you wonder how you deserved him. “i’m…”

wonwoo finishes putting the takeout on the table, and approaches you with quiet steps. he cocks his head to the side, a motion to tell you come here, love, and you take a few steps closer, fiddling with the sleeves of the navy oversized sweatshirt (which belongs to wonwoo).

“how can i be here for you, baby?” he pulls you closer, rubbing small circles on your scalp with his thumb. you don’t really respond, but all you do is plant your face straight to his chest, wrapping your arms around his frame. you feel a low chuckle erupt from his chest. “baby, i’m not sure how my chest is… supportive enough.”

“well, they’re bigger than mine! it’s comfy!” you whine quietly, and wonwoo laughs at your answer. he embraces you, slightly moving side to side.

“i do want an answer, if you’re able to tell me.”

“um,” you hum, looking up to him, while he still scratches your head. “i kind of just want to cuddle… tell me about your new hires, or show me dumb videos of mingyu and seungkwan being stupid again, i really don’t wanna think about what this shitty week has done to me.”

“okay, we can do that.” he hums, and scoops you up, holding you like a sack of rice.

“why are you holding me like this.”

“i wanna open the door.”

“i…” you suddenly remember the bowl of pho sitting on the table. “wait, wonwoo, the pho–”

“we have a microwave.”

“i can walk to put it away first!”

“i wanna spoil you, princess. you deserve something good. no need to think about anything.”

you feel your brain go sideways.

“… okay.” you mumble, kissing the side of his head, ignoring the heat flushing in your cheeks, and the faded pink tint in wonwoo’s ears.

wonwoo puts you on the bed, and wraps you in a blanket burrito after a little cute protest and some kisses, telling you to wait while he quickly freshens up. you feel like you’re gonna fall off the bed, why did your boyfriend put you by the edge of the bed? idiot. after showering, he changes to a comfortable black muscle tee (gifted by soonyoung) and gray sweatpants. when he returns to the bedroom, he turns on the lampshade before shutting off the main light in the bedroom. he goes back by the bed, and unrolls you out from the blanket burrito, giggling as you find yourself rolling towards the middle of the bed.

“wonwoo, what the fuck,” you find it so silly, you’re trying to contain your laughter but it’s not working. you feel wonwoo climb up on the bed, and wonwoo seems like he’s having fun removing (more like unrolling) you out of the blanket. wonwoo starts pressing a few of your pressure points gently, making you giggle even more. “what are you, FUCK, that tickles, STOP THAT!”

“noooo,” wonwoo sounds like a child, and pushes off the final part of the blanket off your body. you’re laughing loudly on the bed, as wonwoo carefully pulls you up but you feel limp from laughing. he helps you sit up in front of him, and you think he’s finished with his confusing act, but he grabs the blanket, wraps you both in it, proceeds to embrace you close, and accidentally manhandles you, him hitting the bed while you’re on top of him. “oh, this wasn’t what i planned to do.”

“what?” you ask him. “manhandle me?”

“yeah, i got too excited, i’m sorry, baby.”

“well, if it makes you feel better,” you trace shapes on his cheekbones with your finger. “i liked it. had no thought in my head, just vibes.”

“mm,” wonwoo just hums, lightly patting your butt. a hand rests behind his own head, inadvertently flexing, and you mindlessly trace the healed floral ink that wraps around his bicep. “one of the new hires likes fruits basket, it reminded me of you.”

“WHAAAAAT?” you look at him with excitement gleaming in your eyes. you slap his chest lightly. “tell me more, tell me more!”

“well, she has a tattoo of kyo’s bracelet and named her pet hamster after yuki.” wonwoo says, playing with your hair. wonwoo started watching the series for you, although he hasn’t finished yet. “although she likes kuroo?”

“oh! kureno.”

“is he a bad person?” he likes to know what’s he in for at times, so some spoilers are okay.

“he falls in love with a minor.”

“oh.”

“yeah, it’s gross,” you sigh as you feel wonwoo massage your scalp. “oh that’s nice, by the way, did your manager allow you to take the cat apron?”

“i can’t. jihoon sucks.”

“boooo! he sucks.”

“my baby can always embroider me one, right?”

“i crochet, not embroider!”

“same idea!”

“no its not!” you pinch his nose. his nose scrunches up, and he tries to playfully bite your fingers. you pinch him even harder, and you giggle over his over exaggerated expression of pain. “i should really finish making that cat hat for you.”

“take your time, baby,” he kisses the tip of your fingers. “don’t stress on it. oh, speaking of which, jihoon sent me footage of seungkwan and mingyu tripping during close yesterday. i don’t know why you find it amusing to see them struggle.”

“because they’re so funny together,” you laugh, as wonwoo uses a free hand to grab his phone on the nightstand. he opens it and scrolls, looking for the video. you turn your head, listening to his steady heartbeat. the scent of his lavender bodywash is faint. it lingers. “besides, mingyu complains about his antics with seungkwan to me at the clinic sometimes.”

“ah, not surprised.”

wonwoo opens the video, and since it is security footage, it’s muted. the quality is grainy. it’s a bit blurry. as wonwoo lightly taps a tune on the small of your back, you watch with curious eyes. seungkwan is mopping, while mingyu is seen refilling the containers with straws and wooden utensils. it doesn’t look much, but you see seungkwan tell mingyu something, but his footing is awkward, causing him to slip on the wet floor. seungkwan doesn’t fall on the ground, and mingyu is laughing at him, throwing his head back in amusement. mingyu suddenly slips backwards, falling on his side, and a bunch of straws fall on the floor. seungkwan looks like he’s gonna cry so much from laughing too hard. someone else (it looks like vernon) appears from the corner and stares at mingyu, whose still on the floor. he leaves. you and wonwoo snort loudly, you shutting your eyes hard because it’s too funny. he locks his phone and puts it back on the nightstand, stroking your head while you continue to laugh.

“god, they’re so stupid,” you shake your head. “how does jihoon deal with them?”

“he tries not to.” wonwoo halfly jokes, scrunching up his nose. you snicker. “at least they get the job done, and jihoon will be less stressed.”

“hopefully the new hires don’t fuck up.”

“i made sure they won’t.” wonwoo says, looking at you with endearment. you can’t help but move up, and kiss him. he smiles into the kiss, even taking a hold of your face as you pepper him with soft kisses. “you’re being more adorable today.”

“well, i feel like i miss you a lot more lately,” you lightly push his glasses up. “even though i see you everyday, i don’t know, it’s different this time.”

“how so?”

you still don’t want to think about the disaster the week has been. but you want your heart to be open. steady.

“sometimes, i forget i’m not alone,” you tell him. his attentive gaze never leaves your face. “and that i don’t have to… i don’t have to burden everything all at once. and i’m sorry if i feel like i’m not relying on you.”

“baby,” wonwoo cups your face and squishes your cheeks. you inadvertently let out a laugh. “don’t be sorry. please don’t ever be.”

“i know, but i…”

“you’re very important to me.” he strokes your cheekbone. “i am always here. i’m sorry if i appeared… distant lately. you don’t deserve that.”

“it’s okay, woo. i’m just overthinking.”

“it’s not…” he whispers, face softening. “you had a bad week, and me being busy isn’t an excuse to make sure my baby is okay. like i said, you’re very important to me, and the love you give me makes me so happy. i love you so much.”

“i love you so much too, wonwoo… how did i deserve you?” you feel your heart swell, and the urge to cry comes. “sometimes i wonder about that.”

“you deserve everything. and i’ll make sure i can give everything to you.”

“then…” you trail off, going quiet for a moment. wonwoo watches you, and you raise yourself up, adjusting yourself to almost straddle his lap. “can you…”

“hm?”

“can you take care of me?” you whisper, tugging the hem of his shirt. you swallow the embarrassment down, reminding yourself that it’s okay. “please?”

it seems like a desperation from you, but wonwoo knows you best. you know that he’ll always and will take care of you with utmost tenderness and gentle love. but sometimes, just barely, or just too often, you question yourself how (and why) you deserve him. you already thought the shared kiss under the stars a few years ago was something he’d forget easily. but the nerd he is, he’ll plant constellations upon constellations of kisses across your body, (as if you’re the universe herself), and ask you to guess which constellation it is. on your anniversary, he’ll always kiss the libra constellation on you because that’s the one you both saw under that fated starry night. (although, he loves kissing the pisces constellation on your body. a lot).

wonwoo gazes upon you, eyes brimming with gentleness, and he carefully sits up, motioning you to move closer to him. his hands rest on your hips, his right thumb stroking your hip. your arms reach out to him, as they wrap slowly around his neck.

“how would like me to take care of you?” he whispers so low, leaning in close, his lips brushing against yours, his right hand going up to play with your sweatshirt, sending a chill down your spine.

“however you want.”

wonwoo pulls you in for a kiss, holding the back of your neck, while his left hand slips under your shorts, lightly caressing the back of your thigh. his tongue teases the roof of your mouth, causing you to let out a small whine, as his left hand takes a hold of your ass, occasionally squishing it.

“do you want me to continue?” wonwoo breathlessly says in between wet kisses. while he fiddles with the hem of your sweatshirt, you nod in response. “words, baby.”

“yes, please.”

“what do you want?”

you and wonwoo are no stranger to sex, but compared to your friends, you and him are considerably on the more… calmer side of things. and thats okay, it’s normal! everyone is different. tonight, however, feels different. even with his constant reassurance, little kisses of i’m here for you, and delicate whispers, you want wonwoo to…

“if you could help me not overthink, that’ll be great,” you feel yourself flush red, looking down at the end of his shirt, fiddling with it. “if you, uh, know what i mean.”

“oh.” wonwoo sighs when your fingers slip under his shirt and ghost over his chest. he’s figured what you meant. “are you sure?”

“as long as you fuck me, make me feel good,” you mumble, feeling yourself grind against him, kissing him wetly. “i could care less how you do it.”

wonwoo hisses at the pressure, and stares at you, a glint of lust and admiration starting to shine through, all while playing with the band of your shorts. he brings up a hand near your face, and pulls you in for another kiss, tongue toying with yours, and when you whine, he sucks the tip of your tongue.

“remember our safe word, baby?”

“kohyangi,” you breathe out, thinking about the cute cat cafe you both went to last year, while wonwoo kisses red blooms on your neck.

“how far do you want me to…”

“how we usually are, but i wanna see you try,” you stop wonwoo from kissing your neck, and you bring him to your face, letting him kiss you more. “you can be a little rougher tonight.”

“fuck, you’re gonna be the end of me.” he gently flips you over, carefully laying you down on the bed, lips never leaving yours until he briefly parts to remove his glasses. putting them on the nightstand clumsily, he comes back for your lips, and you melt against him. through his relentless teasing and his tender touches against you make your head spin. he kisses a little harder, a little more desperate, hands starting to roam around your frame, arms caging you– an underlying message that he isn’t going anywhere, and that he belongs to you, you are his, and that you are deserving of everything. a curious hand slips under your shirt, feeling your bare chest. his other hand toys with the band of your shorts, mumbling if it’s okay to take them off, and he swiftly removes them when you give him a ‘yes’.

“oh, this is pretty,” wonwoo compliments your underwear. it’s a baby blue thong. he takes off his shirt, tossing it somewhere in the room. “they new?”

“um, uh, yes? they were on sale… good deal, too…” you suddenly feel yourself shrink, turning red. you stare at his toned muscles, and you see a satisfied smirk on wonwoo’s face, eyes turning lustful. he pushes the sweatshirt high enough for your chest to be exposed to the air, never breaking eye contact until he swoops down, and starts planting kisses, tongue teasing your nipple, and occasionally biting at some places. “i bought a bunch since… kinda wanted to try wearing these… for you.”

you see wonwoo’s ears turn pink, and feel yourself crawling into a hole.

“aw, cute, my princess wants to treat me.” your brain screams. wonwoo kisses over the healed ink near your hip.“they look great on you, makes your tattoo here even sexier.”

“are.. are you doing the andromeda constellation?” you breathe out, trying to divert his (horny) attention somewhere else. “or is it something else?”

“mmhmm, correct, that’s my good girl,” wonwoo teases and you feel yourself choke on your own spit. he starts toying with the band of your underwear, and bites a mark on the hip bone. you didn’t even realize he’s already settled in between your legs until you feel him breathe. he tongues over the bite mark, soothing it. damn, ain’t this one nice way to go out. “you’re learning so well.”

“shit,” you shyly say between your teeth.

“keep the sweatshirt on, i wanna fuck you in it.”

“good, that was the intention.” you try to counter wonwoo, and you feel yourself twitch when wonwoo presses his thumb over your clothed clit. “does it make you possessive?”

“baby, you have no idea.” he responds, hooking a finger in the band of your thong.“may i?”

you nod at him, and he slowly peels off your underwear. as you slightly raise your hips so he can easily pull them off, he’s awkward with it, making you remove it instead. wonwoo clicks his tongue in slight annoyance. all you do is just smile at him, slipping them off with ease. you sit up (just a bit) to toss them somewhere on the bed or floor, and you don’t realize wonwoo is incredibly close to your pussy until you adjust your positioning. your breath hitches when he breathes.

“hm?” he starts to tease, kissing around the area and the lower stomach, but doesn’t do anything. “you’re pretty down here.”

“babe, please,” you try to sound exasperated but he plants the softest kiss on your clit and you almost collapse your arms. “just nervous, that’s all, even though we’ve done this a lot…”

“it’s okay, baby, i don’t blame you, i get nervous too,”wonwoo murmurs, and he can’t help it but he finds himself licking his lips. “may i eat you out?”

“yes, please.”

he first lightly swipes his tongue from the entrance to the clit, and he does it again, and again, and again, as you let out a soft noise the more he does it. he kisses your clit, and licks it, tongue flicking it a few times, doing a circular motion, and you sigh out a moan, hand resting on the crown of his head. he briefly pauses to use his thumbs to spread you out a little more, and opens his mouth, letting drool drip down on your pussy, watching it drip down, and he goes back in with his tongue. he increases the pressure, and you whine, almost hitting your head against the headboard. he keeps up the pace, moaning against your folds whenever you do, tongue slipping inside you occasionally. he starts to get even more sloppy, messy– making wet noises the more he eats you out.

“my princess is being so so good, so wet,” he mumbles lowly against your folds, hearing how wet he made you, briefly pulling away to kiss your inner thighs. you whine how his finger is teasing your hole, and his lips come back to suck on your clit again. “so needy, all for me.”

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whine breathlessly, feeling wonwoo’s hand grip your thigh a little harder. he looks up, eyes never breaking away from yours, while his tongue slowly licks up from the entrance to your clit. he closes his eyes, relishing in the taste of you. you are sure your thigh is going to bruise, but his head is in between your legs, so it’ll be worth the bruising. “wonwoo, fuck, oh my god,”

“mm, fuck, so sweet,” he mumbles against your pussy. a finger slips inside you, slowly moving back and forth. the bed slightly shakes, and you see that he’s lightly grinding against the sheets, in desperation for some relief. you sigh at the sight, trying to stifle a moan as he puts more pressure with his tongue. “baby, go ahead, be louder.”

“its, fuck, embarrassing! holy shit,” you respond back a little louder, body arching when wonwoo adds another finger and grazes that sweet spot inside. you feel wonwoo pin down your hips with his other hand. “so, fuck, so, so good.”

“good,” wonwoo coos. “how bad do you wanna come?”

“so bad, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” your brain feels dizzy. “please wonwoo, please.”

wonwoo hums, continuing to suck your clit with wet noises and fingering you good. you find yourself mumbling incoherent sentences, and you find yourself feeling a wave of relief and pleasure overtake your body, trying to breathe. you clench around his fingers, hearing wonwoo coax you through your orgasm, leaving little kisses on you of you’re doing so well for me, and my baby, baby, all mine.

“can i spit in your mouth?” wonwoo removes his mouth from you, but his fingers have slowed their movement.

“yes.” you whine at the brief loss.

“open up.” he demands softly, a wet thumb pressing against your bottom lip. you oblige, and he leans in, letting drool drip down from his mouth into yours, his fingers busy with your hole, and uses his tongue to push it in your mouth. you shut your eyes, moaning while wonwoo’s tongue meets with yours.“good girl. was that okay?”

“y-yes,” you say in between wet kisses. another finger slips inside you, making it three, while you both make out, tasting yourself against his tongue. “it was good.”

“do you want me to do it again tonight?” wonwoo slightly rolls on his side, all while fingering you and peppering your neck with more kisses.

“it was really hot but,” you moan, trying to reach the band of his sweatpants. you can see how hard he is, and how much relief he desperately needs. “i don’t know if i wanna do it again. not again tonight, if that’s okay.”

“it’s always okay, baby, thank you,” wonwoo smiles against your neck, and you really wonder how you feel horny and soft all at once. he feels your fingers tease the band of his sweatpants, almost tracing the dent against it.“oh, baby, no need to worry about me.”

“but i want to make you feel good, too,” you say softly, breaths staggering while he fingers you long and slow. “don’t want—fuck— to be the only one.”

“well,” wonwoo gazes at you, eyes half-lidded with a slight fucked out look on his face. “does my girl want to make me feel good? words, baby, i need to hear them.”

“i want to make you feel good, please.”

“how badly?”

“s-so bad,” you whine when wonwoo removes his fingers from you. rolling on top of him, you press your body against his, your fingers holding the band of his sweats. “i want to suck you off.”

“wanna show me how with my fingers?” he brings up his fingers covered in your wetness close to your lips. “how will my baby suck me off?”

“only if you let me jerk you off, too.”

“i’d love that, fuuck,” wonwoo groans when you pull down his sweats and your hand wraps over his hard dick. he’s so fucking hard. your thumb teases the tip, playing with the precum and letting your hand coat itself in it. wonwoo’s fingers slowly go in your mouth, and you swirl your tongue around them. “baby, fuck, you’re such a slut.”

“y-you’re the bigger slut,” you shyly whisper against his fingers. you help wonwoo get out from his sweatpants, leaving him naked, and you start grinding your cunt against his bare thigh. he hisses, feeling how wet you are down there, and his free hand grabs a hold of your hip. “you made me like this.”

“you’re so wet, baby,” wonwoo sighs, pulling you in for a kiss, sighing when you jerk him off slowly. as you slightly pick up the pace, thumbing the slit, wonwoo’s hand reaches from behind to play with your hole. you quickly pull away to let a trail of spit go down his cock for some lubrication, and wonwoo throws his head back, groaning, when you jerk him off faster. “fuck, that’s my girl, go ahead, suck me off.”

“and you’re calling me the slut,” you mumble. you hear wonwoo laugh against your lips, until you feel his hand lightly slap your ass. you sigh at the pain, wonwoo rubbing the reddenning spot. “wow, kinky, are we?”

“you’re cute.”

“you like it.”

“you’re so– oh, fuck,” wonwoo feels his breathing stagger when you slide down, your tongue teasing the tip. you look up, trying hard to maintain eye contact, all while holding his thick cock with your hand (you forget how thick he is, you can barely wrap your hand around it completely) and giving it kittenish licks, before wrapping your lip around the tip. you make a few wet sucking noises, before spitting down on his cock for more lubrication. “fuck, baby, can you take all of me?”

“i haven’t even done anything yet,” you continue to trail your tongue along the veins and stroke him at the girth, and he moans— you feel yourself clench around nothing, wanting to hear more of it. “wanna tell me what should i do?”

“d-do as you please.” he groans out your name, cursing under his breath, and strokes your head as you continue to suck him off. not only does he love it when he ensures you’re vocal about what you want, he loves it when you ask him what he wants. being communicative is something he prioritizes so much (in general, obviously). and during times like these, communication is so so sexy.

you look at him, eyes signaling am i doing good for you?, and wonwoo bites his lip, enthralled by the sight. he really, really, can’t wait to ravish you.

“oh, holy fuck,” his thoughts get slightly interrupted when he feels his cock almost hit the back of your throat. feelings mixed with surprise and arousal that overwhelm him, he bites his lip to avoid a moan slipping out, wrapping his own hand around the base and presses it, edging himself. “oh, fuck, baby, you don’t have to take everything in.”

“b-but,” you remove your mouth from him, a slick pop sound coming out, as a trail of spit and come stick on your mouth. you still use your hands to jerk him off, looking at him with glossed eyes. “i wanna make you feel good.”

“you already are, baby,” wonwoo hitches his breath when you put your mouth back on his cock, a finger trailing your jaw. “but i’m the one who was suppose to fuck you til you can’t think, right? do you still want that, sweetheart?”

“uh-huh,” you mumble. “i-i do.”

“come here, then,” wonwoo encourages you to come up, licking your mouth. he runs a tongue on the roof of your mouth, as you moan while his hand plays with your hole again. “i taste good, don’t i?”

“mmhmm,” you reply against his lips, and wonwoo easily slips two fingers inside you again. he sucks on your bottom lip, fingering you faster, and you find yourself instinctively riding his fingers, moans getting more desperate as his other hand takes a hold of your hip and helps you ride his fingers. “fuck, fuck, fuck, i’m gonna cum again, oh my god, your fingers are so good, woo.”

“that’s it, baby,” wonwoo says, adding in a third finger. you feel his thumb press again your clit. “come for me again, sweetheart.”

you ride out your second orgasm of the night. although it’s not as intense as the first, it feels more of like a softer wave holding you close. wonwoo kisses your neck and collarbones, whispering you praises and love notes as he helps you finish.

“please fuck me already,” you whine into the kiss, and wonwoo starts playing with the hem of your sweatshirt. “wonwoo, please, i want you…”

“patience, baby,” wonwoo whisper in your ear, and you feel his hand go up and down your back. “i’ll take care of you as long as you like me to. can you go on your hands and knees for me, baby?”

“can we kiss first?”

“of course, baby.”

you’ll never get sick of kissing wonwoo, ever. you find how you melt into each other’s warmth, comfort, and love— and how he feels like home, the hugs on rainy days, the shared smiles— you adore how his kisses are reminders of i’m always here and love letters, how much he loves you- all of you—

wonwoo shifts when you move onto the position, him moving his hand down your back. he asks if its okay if he can lift up your hips a little higher, and says good girl when you follow his instruction.

“can i…?” wonwoo asks, raising your hips up, so your ass is sticking up in the air. “can i fuck you holding one of your arms behind your back?”

“holy fuck,” you whisper, looking at him, a part of your face squished by the pillow. you and wonwoo aren’t that experimental, but this… is something. “if that will help you fuck me so hard til i can’t think, then okay.”

wonwoo slows his movements, and stares at you.

oh.

oh.

oh, fuck, that’s hot.

“well, if you say so,” he leans over, tilts your head to give you a kiss, before opening the drawer to grab a condom. “you’re gonna kill me.”

“at least fuck me first.” you joke, and wonwoo chuckles at that, pushing up your sweatshirt to expose your back. he kisses down your spine, and you hear the rustle of the condom wrapper. wonwoo adjusts your body, and you almost feel like a cramp coming on, but it’s okay—

“ready, baby?” wonwoo asks lowly. you nod against the pillow. “words, sweetheart. may i have your hand?”

“mm, yeah, i’m ready, are you?” you put your hand around your back, and you feel wonwoo’s hand wrap around your wrist.

“yeah, i’m putting it in,” wonwoo says, and you feel the tip prod against your entrance, and you bite back a moan before he slowly inserts himself in. you squeeze your eyes shut, gasping against the pillow, remembering to take deep breaths. you need a moment to adjust, but the stretch alone feels wonderful. “you okay?”

“y-yes,” you exhale. “fuck, i feel all of you, so, so much.”

“fuck, you’re so tight.” wonwoo groans, slowly bottoming out. “need a moment?”

“yeah.” you let yourself adjust to his cock, as wonwoo rubs your back (his way of helping you relax). a minute passes, and you start to feel good, inadvertently moving your hips back to his. wonwoo moans, and it encourages you to move faster against him. “f-fuck, oh my god, please fuck me, you’re so big—”

wonwoo finds himself moving his hips fast, a hand gripping your hip, the other pinning your wrist behind your back, as you gasp on how loud, wet, and hard he’s going. as hard and fast-paced his thrusts are, it remains concise and controlled. you hear him groan the more he thrusts into you, and you briefly look back at him, seeing him fling his head back in pleasure. god, it feels so good, the sounds of skin slapping grow louder, breathing out of sync, you feel so full, so fucking full, your head is starting to get dizzy—

your senses come back when wonwoo slows his pace, and you whine, tightening around him as a means to get him to move.

“nuh-uh, don’t come just yet,” wonwoo tuts, shallowly thrusting in you. “i’m not done with you.”

“w-what, fuck! oh my god, please go harder,” you tell him, feeling drool come out from your mouth, and wonwoo lets go of your hand, gently placing it above your head.

“so, so, impatient,” wonwoo slaps your ass, watching you fuck yourself on him. he continues to let you fuck yourself on him, his frame swooping down so he can whisper. “so needy for my cock, hm? didn’t know my baby is such a needy, little slut. look at you fucking yourself on me. i haven’t even fucked you stupid yet, and look at you being so needy for me. my baby is such a cute little whore.”

“wonwoo, please move,” you breathe, looking at him with glossy eyes. wonwoo continues to stare at you with lust and endearment, all while shallowly fucking into you. “i want you so much, ahhhh fuck, please, please.”

“hm? what was that?” wonwoo coos, and you whine even more. you feel like crying. wonwoo rubs his hands down your side. “oh, baby, it’s okay, i’ll give you want you want. wanna tell me what you want?”

“y-you, please.”

“just me?”

“want you to fuck me til i can’t think.”

“that’s it?”

“wanna be y-your cute little whore for you.”

and that’s all it takes for wonwoo to remove himself out from you. you wince at the loss of him, as you feel tears in your eyes, but he steadily grabs you, flipping you on your back. he pumps himself, spitting on his fingers and they go down to your pussy, playing with your clit with his thumb and wraps your legs around his waist.

“keep your legs wrapped for me, okay?” he says, using his long fingers to play with you. “can you do that for me?”

“yes,” you nod, and wonwoo peppers soft kisses around your neck and face. “wonwoo?”

“mm, baby?”

“can you spit in my mouth again?”

“oh, fuck, yes,” it catches wonwoo off guard and you find it cute how flustered he got. “i can, yeah.”

“good,” you nudge his back with your leg, telling him to start moving.

“ready?”

“mmhm- ah, fuck!” you nod, but wonwoo slips inside easily, holding onto your hips hard, fucking you at a hard, controlled pace. “oh my god, fuuuck, fuck!”

wonwoo smiles, watching your expressions change accordingly. he takes in all of your noises, expressions, all of you, how you ask to go faster, how you’re trying to fuck back too, how you’re willing to make it good for both of you. wonwoo takes a hold of your hand, putting it above your head. he gets caught off guard when you put your other hand up, and wraps his hand around your wrists, pinning them against the sheets.

“fuck, baby, you’re so tight, your pretty pussy loves taking me in, hm?” wonwoo whispers, and his free hand creeps up on your neck, but doesn’t add pressure on it. “open up.”

you oblige, and you feel him twitch. you tighten in instinct, as he lets spit drip down from his mouth to yours, and sticks his tongue in your mouth to push it in again. you moan at that, eyes going shut, all while wonwoo fucks harder and harder and harder. you feel nothing running in your brain, it feels numbing, feels exhilarating, you just feel yourself get lost into the pleasure and the praise wonwoo kisses on your skin. you numbingly hear him say words and words of i love you, can’t believe you are all mine, fuck you’re too good for me, come for me, your senses get blurred out, like your feeling everything all at once, and you don’t know when but you feel yourself unravel, coming undone as wonwoo finishes too, hips stuttering.

“baby…” wonwoo sighs against your lips, hands cautiously rubbing your sides, while putting his body weight against yours. “come back to me.”

“mmrgh?” you make a weird noise, feeling warm and a little light-headed. you hear wonwoo telling you to take deep breaths, and you use your hands to hold onto his shoulders. kisses and kisses and kisses of you did so well scatter across your skin like a cluster of stars, as wonwoo strokes your head with a comforting touch. “wonwoo?”

“m’ here baby, i’m right here,” he says, carefully slipping out from inside you after he softens. “i’m here, are you here?”

“yeah, sorry,” you finally collect yourself together, staring at the ceiling. wonwoo shifts on the bed, rolling over next to you to discard the condom, and plops next to you, an arm wrapping around your waist. you look over at him, lost in his bright eyes, and fucked out glow. “you did it.”

“wha?”

“you fucked me stupid, i don’t remember thinking at all.” you laugh. wonwoo’s face turns more pink, and he grumbles into your neck, kissing a spot or two.

“was that all okay?” he asks, stroking your head with one hand, playing with your hands with the other. “we did a little experimenting tonight.”

“it was good, yes, thank you,” you tell him, stroking his cheek fondly. “kinda wanna do more of it, you know.”

“oh.”

“oh my god, don’t act like a shy boy when you fucked me with your big dick.”

“i’m…” wonwoo get even more shy, and you laugh, kissing his nose and his cheeks. “just wasn’t expecting that, that’s all.”

“is it a lot for you?”

“no, i’m glad you trust me, and that i’m able to trust you.” wonwoo says, rubbing your stomach. “we should clean up.”

“eh, i kinda wanna lay here.” you say, sort of sprawling out on the bed. you stretch your arm a little weird so it ends up across wonwoo’s body. ���too tired.”

“baby, you work in healthcare. didn’t they teach you to pee after sex?”

“i work in an eye clinic!”

“well yeah! same idea! it’s still healthcare! i’m getting you to clean up.” wonwoo says, slipping out of bed and grab his sweatpants. he slips it on, and goes over to your side, but you start rolling away, not wanting to get out of bed. “baby, don’t do that.”

“i want to cuddle first,” you say, not bothering to fight back when wonwoo grabs your body to carry you to the bathroom. “i feel like jelly.”

“good, that’s what i intended,” wonwoo kisses your face when you wrap your arms around his neck. “we can cuddle after. what do you want for breakfast?”

“eggs. toast, if we have bread. do we have bread?” wonwoo shrugs . “uh, coffee? oh! and maybe fried rice.”

“you work tomorrow?” he asks. you shake your head. “good, we’ll sleep in, eat breakfast, you wanna go play stardew valley together?”

you grin, giving him a kiss.

god, you love him so fucking much.

[sc0tters]

Here With You | Kirby Dach

summary: a stressful day turns into the most memorable day of your life when Kirby steps in.

request: yes/no

warnings: none, maybe slight allusions to sex at the end?

word count: 1.22k

authors note: the request literally said soft Kirby and I had no clue what to write for that so here it is. I pulled this up in the list because so many people have been asking for him to get a piece so here it is!

If there was a word to describe how bad your day was you truly didn’t have it in your dictionary.

Your meetings had all gone against you where deadlines were pulled forward drowning you in work to the point where you had missed the game this evening.

Kirby was surprised when you hadn’t shown up but that surprise turned to worry when you didn’t answer any of his messages.

So naturally the hockey player broke most speed limits as he drove back to your shared apartment not caring that he had been through three red lights.

But what Kirby didn’t expect to see was your body hunched over the dining room table as you typed a lengthy paragraph about something.

Your eyes were tired as it stared at the screen struggling to remain open “baby?” Kirby called out as he watched you remain silent.

The silence in the room made the hockey player feel sick “you okay?” He added walking over to you.

When you heard the floorboard creek beneath his feet your head whipped around “hi baby.” Kirby’s voice was soft as he placed a kiss on your head “missed you out there tonight.” The hockey player crouched down so that he could talk to you.

As the reminder of the game came through your ears your hand slapped over your mouth “I missed your game?” Your voice broke at the thought.

Tears left your eyes and Kirby thought that there was going to be no stopping them “it’s okay,” he was quick to go into recovery mode as he wrapped his hands around you pulling you into an awkward hug given how he stood there.

The moment went on for a few minutes before your crying seemed to slow down “let me see that pretty face of yours.” The hockey players voice made you smile through a sniffle.

He brought his hand to your cheek to wipe away a tear that rolled down your cheek when he smiled “I’m sorry for missing your game.” You apologised “we lost anyways.” Kirby shot back making you let out a soft giggle “against the ducks?”

Your question had him scoffing as his jaw dropped “hey remember you missed it so you can’t even judge us.” Kirby’s response made your smile until the boy locked eyes with your laptop.

His expression softened seeing all of the comments from your coworkers who he hated “why are you working on this?” He asked assuming that it was only meant to be done in three weeks “boss pushed it forward.” You explained only to be met with a sigh.

But what you didn’t expect was that Kirby would reach forward to shut your laptop “I’m not done!” You complained as you knew you had to edit at least three more pages before you could go to bed “yes you are.” Kirby shook his head not wanting to hear any potential arguments that you might have had for him.

Kirby held his hand out to your as he smiled “we are going to our bedroom.” The hockey player explained as you took his hand “only for a little-” your proposal was quickly shut down as he shook his head.

His finger raised to your lips “for the evening.” Kirby’s voice showed that he was serious which made you smile all over again.

You nodded showing that you were giving in “that wasn’t so hard now was it?” The hockey player asked leaning in to peck your lips.

His plans to pull your mind away from your work seemed to work as the lavender bubble bathe scent invaded your nostrils “you okay baby?” His lips pressed against your temple as you lay against his chest “I love you.” You blurted out feeling him run his fingers against your arm.

It was soft as you two looked out of the window by the time to the well lit city of Montreal “I love you too.” Kirby smiled as you rested your head on his shoulder.

Kirby hummed in your ear as he kissed up the side of your neck “so stressed baby.” He mumbled wrapping his arms around your waist.

You melted at his touch “don’t stop.” You smiled as your hand reached up to cup his hair “you feeling better about it all?” The hockey player asked letting his head rest against your cheek “now that you’re here.” Sure it sounded cheesy but you honestly hadn’t thought about your work since you shut your laptop.

Your finger tips had gotten wrinkled due to the water that they had soaked up “you ready to go out?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked up at the boy.

Kirby brought his hand up to cup your jaw “I’ll follow you wherever you want baby.” His words took you by surprise which made you remain silent “forever?”

It seemed like a light went off above him “I’ll be back in a sec baby.” Kirby tapped your arm motioning to you to lean forward.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you listened watching him get out of the tub as he quickly ran into your bedroom “what is he doing?” You mumbled to yourself as you waited for him to come back.

He took a total of three minutes (which felt like a hundred) before he came back in “what did you?” Kirby had this mischievous look on his face as he held his hands behind his back.

Nothing clicked in your head until he kneeled by the tub “I was planning on doing this during the break in Quebec but this short of felt like the moment.” Kirby let out a nervous laugh when you brought your hand to your mouth.

The hockey player smiled “I will follow you wherever you go wherever you go on this earth.” His words made your heart pound as your eyes watered.

You nodded when he pulled the box from behind him “so I guess I’m just asking-” before Kirby could finish his sentence you smiled “yes yes yes!” You blurted out making the boy grin.

Kirby laughed “you don’t even know what I was going to ask.” He pointed out making your smile widen.

A giggle left your lips “hurry up and ask me dummy.” Your voice was obvious and your impatient nature came through.

In that moment he looked at you like you were the only girl in the world “you wanna marry me?” Kirby opened the box to reveal the ring that you had showed him a year ago on a whim.

You let out a gasp “they stopped selling it.” Sure it was weird but that was literally your dream ring “I got it the day after you showed it to me.” Kirby explained as he shrugged pulling the ring out of the box “you didn’t answer my question baby.” He reminder you as he grabbed your hand.

It was amusing how you nodded so quickly “I’ve wanted to marry you since the day I told you I loved you.” You confessed with a grin as Kirby slipped the ring onto your finger bringing his lips to yours as he kissed you “now let’s really move this to the bedroom.” The hockey player stood up as he held his hand out to you.

You two were in for a long night.

[archivomeow]

Fight and Forgive.

characters: Spencer Reid, Reader/You

relationship: Spencer Reid/Reader (romantic or/and platonic)

description: Reader is laying alone in bed, tired after fighting with Spencer, soon enough he comes into the room and is their comforter.

other tags: no use of Y/N, gn!reader, established relationship (not specified if it was romantic or platonic.) Anxiety, Anxious and Overthinking Reader

read on ao3!

It was dark and late, it was summer so it took a moment for the sun to fully set and the moon to shine, you could see stars through the window, it was a beautiful night, which you were spending all alone.

Spencer as usual wasn’t back till’ late hours, it was eating you up alive. You couldn’t bear it anymore, you loved him, truly, but all this separation, his recent visit in the hospital…

He called it “risks that come with the job”.

You called it “bullshit”.

Both of you said a lot, that happened each time you held back, silently suffering, feeling as if your feelings, your pain was just not worth it, it’s not like anything could and would change.

You were covered with a fluffy blanket, you had nowhere else to go, really. Spencer didn’t say much, just stayed in the living room, two hours have passed, yet the light still shined through the crack under the door, so he obviously was awake. You simply returned to the bedroom, where you could freely sob, still you tried to be silent, the pillow was wet from the tears however it would dry by the morning, so nothing would look suspicious.

Spencer kept risking his life and the stress of losing him was not something you wanted to go through. You loved him, he loved you, but he also loved his job, his coworkers, sometimes it felt like he loved them more then you. No matter what he said or would do — it couldn’t bring back the time you lost with him, because of the BAU or the sleepless nights when you’re anxiety was horrible, not allowing you to sleep, because he hasn’t returned yet. It was his job, but it had a firm grip on both his and your mental state.

Soon enough you had no tears left to cry, so you laid on the empty, king-sized bed, just spiralling with no intention to stop. Not only you needed to figure out what to tell Spence, you also punished yourself that way, the overthinking mainly resulted in painful headaches, but you just couldn’t stop, I mean this whole fight was your fault anyways…

That’s when your head turned towards the door when you heard it click, he was standing there, his hair messy, letting in the light from the living room, which made you squint your eyes. He moved into the room, switching the lights of the living room off and shutting the door behind himself.

“Hey…” His voice was raspy, he stood over the bed just looking at you, you glanced at him, but chose to focus somewhere else.

You cried and fought, still you could feel the rage and sadness inside of your chest, bubbling up.

“What do you want?” You were straight forward, with no intention to start a conversation, you didn’t want to fight anymore, you couldn’t handle it, you were simply exhausted.

“I- Can we talk…Please?” He hesitated, he knew you too well, well enough to ask, knowing you don’t have the heart to turn him down.

“Spence…Can we do this tomorrow?” You furrowed your brows as he sat on the bed and sighed, that’s when it hit you, he was not going to be here tomorrow. “Oh…” The sound left your mouth as it hit you, like a slap across your face.

“I’m sorry…But it’s…The BAU—“ He didn’t got a chance to finish, you didn’t let him.

“No more of that…” The whine left your mouth as your palms rubbed your face in a poor attempt to stop yourself from bursting out crying. “I’m sick of listening to that, Spencer.” Your voice was stern, you felt so fragile, like anything he says might break you.

He simply nodded as the two of you sat in silence for a moment. You looked at him more carefully now and without a doubt he was doing the same, but only one of you was a profiler.

His eyes were slightly red, his lips chapped and under his eyes you could see eye bags, he obviously wasn’t asleep in awhile.

“Lay down.” You spoke more softly, moving slightly to make him more space. “You need to sleep, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“Sleep.” Spencer simply repeated the word and laid down awkwardly next to you. You could blame him, one moment you’re throwing a tantrum and the other you two are back in bed.

He glanced at you, the silence was loud, the only noise came from the streets and the cars passing every now and then. It was your fault, so you initiated contact, your body moved towards him, closing the distance between you two. Soon enough his hands traveled to your waist and your head to the crook of his neck. Both of you said nothing, just kept calm and enjoyed each other’s warmth.

“You know I love you…I do…” He whispered softly, his breath send a shiver down your spine. “I love coming home and seeing your face and I love spending the holidays with you and every other free moment I have…” He continued as his hand slowly rubbed your back.

“I know…I—“ You whispered back gently, holding back tears.

“It’s okay…I understand.” He whispered back and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, before the two of you drifted to sleep.

[itszazouu]

safe besides you (sakusa kiyoomi x sick reader)

genre : hurt/comfort

character : timeskip!sakusa kiyoomi, gender neutral reader

warnings : mention of throwing up, sickness, insomnia, crying, loneliness

plot (established relationship): as you feel like getting sick you can’t help but miss your boyfriend who is away with his volleyball team for a major encounter. you try to deal with it on your own, but you feel way more safe when Kiyoomi is besides you 

   You feel lightheaded as you make your way back home. 

It was a long day at work and now you feel even worse. Before walking back home you made a quick stop at the nearest mall in order to buy groceries for tonight’s dinner and some medicine to relieve your pain.

Kiyoomi isn’t here tonight, like every other night this week. He is abroad with his volleyball team for the most important games of the season. He might come home during the dead night or maybe in the early morning.

You miss him, even though he called you every night during this week. Just when he’s about to begin his day and you to end yours. You miss his steady presence, his soft kisses when he thinks that you’re still asleep, his always so soft and genuine gestures toward you. You miss his soft smiles and loving eyes, his warm and comforting embrace, his dark and messy hair… Yeah you miss him. 

Tonight isn’t an exception. You open the front door only to face the silence of your shared house… ugh, you just need to eat, take your medicine, and go straight to sleep. 

As you make your way to the kitchen in order to put away your groceries, you feel like throwing up or fainting, maybe both at the same time. 

Crap, this is worse than you were thinking. You do the rest of the chores, because you know that an exhausted Kiyoomi would prefer coming back to a clean home, and decide to skip dinner. You’re feeling too nauseous anyway. 

 As you make your way through your bedroom, after taking some medicine, your phone vibrates. 

This is a message from Kiyoomi.

9:45 pm  Kiyoomi : hi, how are you doing tonight ?                                              how was your day ? 

9:46 pm  you : I’m fine honey thank you. Aren’t you on the plane already ? 

9:51 pm  Kiyoomi : good                                                                                      no, we will get on board in 10 minutes 

9:58 pm  you : oh okay then, I made dinner, it is in the fridge for you to heat up  when you’ll  come back 

9:58pm  Kiyoomi : thanks darling, you should go to sleep I won’t be home      before  late                                                                                                              I love you

9:59 pm you : yes, don’t worry kiyo, I love you too

You put your phone on the bedside table and slide under your bed sheets, desperately trying to warm yourself up and to fall asleep. You need rest, you know that, but you can’t help yourself from feeling lonely in your king sized bed, without the warm body of Kiyoomi. You sound so pitiful right now, but you’re sad and you need the raven haired boy. Even though you know that being sick won’t be very appealing for him and his fear of germs. 

Yes, through the years of dating him you grew accustomed to his fears and habits and he tried his very best to open up to you concerning those matters but that doesn’t mean he likes it when you’re sick. Because he loves you and seeing you in pain isn’t something he particularly appreciates and because who likes being near sick people anyway… 

You toss and turn in the bed. It is almost midnight and you feel worse than before. Cold sweat runs along your back and your head is spinning like crazy. You get up from bed and go to the bathroom in order to freshen up a bit. 

After splashing some cold water on your face, you go back to bed and decide to text Sakusa. Just because you can, and because you’re feeling very bad right now. 

12:10 pm you : hey, love I hope your trip back home is doing ok so far and that you’re not too  tired

No response… he’s either asleep on the plane, in a cab on his way home, or trying to deal with his loud teammates. Dejected and exhausted, you try to go back to your slumber. 

You wake up way later, the room is silent except for the background noises of the street. Besides you, to your delight, lay Kiyoomi. Your sweet Kiyoomi, fast asleep, looking exhausted but peaceful. You snuggle against him and sigh in delight. 

Wait… your stomach turns up in an unpleasant twist and you feel the urge to throw up. You detangle yourself from Sakusa and get up from bed as fast and quietly as possible. You reach the bathroom just in time to close the door and empty your guts down the sink. 

After some time you try to regain some composure in order to go back to bed, but you hear a faint knock on the bathroom door. Shit, you woke him up. 

“y/n, darling, are you ok ?” says Kiyoomi in a faint voice, still tainted by sleep. 

You feel guilty, you woke him up from his much needed sleep. He sounds exhausted, but most of all concerned. 

“I’m fine Kiyoomi, go back to sleep honey, I’ll be here in a minute.” you sigh as you sit up from the bathroom floor. 

He protests, “No, y/n you’re not. I heard you throwing up, can I come inside ?” 

“Kiyoomi, I’m sick, I’m full of germs, you don’t wanna come near me I swear.” you respond on the verge of tears. Because you’re exhausted, you feel like shit and just want a warm hug from your lover. You try, unsuccessfully, to muffle back your sob but Kiyoomi doesn’t buy it. 

“y/n, I’m going to enter okay ?”  you hear from the other side of the door, as you hear the doorknob turning. 

He’s here, in his pajamas, more like an old shirt and a boxer, standing right in front of you, closing his eyes as the sudden brightness of the bathroom light. His curls stick at odd angles and he looks as beautiful as ever. 

You quickly wash your palms, to prevent him from touching your hands that have touched the sink full of vomit. 

He makes his way towards you carefully, and takes your cheeks in his hands, examining your pale face. 

“y/n darling, you’re sick” he locks his dark eyes in your tired ones as you scoff  “yeah, no kidding.”

To your surprise, Kiyoomi tenderly kisses your forehead. 

The tall man makes his way towards the bathroom closet and takes some medicine from it. He hands you a couple of pills and you swallow without questioning him, trusting him for those matters. 

“I’m so sorry Kiyo, for waking you up and making you deal with this, I know you don’t like it and you must be exhausted.” you feel your eyes fill up again with tears as you try to steady yourself because of the lack of sleep.

“y/n, my love you’re sick, you needed me, I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your text, my phone is dead, but I’m here now” he says tenderly while pampering your face with kisses and as you sob uncontrollably.

This is so unlike him to come over his fear and approach you, even though you’re ill. It makes you cry even more as you feel him embrace you in a tight and warm hug and whispering

“I love you y/n and I don’t want you to deal with this alone, now come on you need to rest.” He leads you out of the bathroom which is connected to your bedroom and pushes you gently towards the bed. 

As you lay down under the fresh sheets of your bed, Sakusa pulls you in a tight embrace and rests his lips on your forehead. There, in the warmth of your dear boyfriend, you finally feel at ease. You know that it’s where you belong to and that you’ll always feel safe beside him, in sickness and in health.

[theragethatisdesire]

much ado about nothing chapter 4 - plug!eren x reader, 18+!!!

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. minors and ageless blogs, please do not read below the cut.

hiiiii again!! here to update you on our lovely reader and her darling eren. now that they've finally done the deed, where does it leave them? will the one night only rule stand? time to learn a little more about our eren...i hope you guys love it so much, i had to play around a LOT with this one to get everything set up for the next chapter. pay attention because every detail counts!!

want to get caught up? series masterlist here :)

chapter-specific cws: alcohol, swearing, mentions of smut but no actual smut, crying in the club

-

“If it proves so, then loving goes by haps; Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.” Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare (Act III, Scene 2)

“I was worried sick! Sick!” Historia cries as you enter your apartment, still wearing Eren’s obnoxious Grill Dad t-shirt. “You never texted me, never told me you were staying over, and…what is that shirt? Ew.”

“It’s what I woke up in. Tragic, I know.” Not a complete lie, if you ignore the part where Eren ripped it off of you immediately upon waking, pulling you into his lap to ride him for the umpteenth time.

“Woke up in? It’s four in the afternoon. Did you forget we have plans with Sasha?”

You nearly smack your forehead– you do have plans, it’s Saturday night, which means you're due at Scout’s. “Shit, yeah, I did forget.”

“Get ready then,” Historia gives you a knowing once-over, “you look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

“Quit flirting with me.”

You drag your tired heap of a body into the shower, wanting nothing more than to lay in your bed for all eternity and kick your feet like a schoolgirl, thinking about last night. You and Eren had stayed up all night. Making burgers on the back porch in your matching t-shirts and underwear had turned into him bending you over the kitchen counter, grading your quizzes had turned into a competition of who could hold out the longest with the other’s head between their legs, the shower had turned into you on your knees, swallowing him down your sore throat. You had talked about everything and nothing until you passed out, wrapped in each other, and woke up only to do the same thing all over again.

Historia is absolutely correct. You do look like you’ve been hit by a truck, and you feel like it too. Your cunt throbs between your legs, fucked raw time and time again, and bruises litter your skin, from your hips to your arms to your collarbones, gifted to you by Eren’s mouth and hands. Your fingers trace absentmindedly along a particularly nasty one on your shoulder, and you shudder.

The hot water feels godsent against your skin until you hear the door creak open. You roll your eyes, brace yourself for the interrogation.

“So?” Historia calls over the water.

“So?”

“Don’t be stupid. How was it?”

“Can it wait for Scout’s? I’m going to have to say it all over again to Sasha, anyway.” You’re playing coy; really, you could talk about your night for hours. How he held you, how all the rumors were true, how cute he looked grilling for you. Hours.

“Fine,” Historia sighs dramatically, “most of it can. At least tell me if the rumors are true or not. I’ve literally been dying to know, and Ymir won’t hypothesize with me.”

You poke your head out through the curtain, grinning like a maniac. “It’s huge.”

“Like, objectively huge?”

“Like, bigger-than-I’ve-ever-seen-outside-of-porn huge.”

“So it was good?” Historia returns your half-crazed smile, only making your own grow.

“So good.”

“Aaah!” Historia squeals, reaching through the curtain to grab your hand excitedly. “I literally have to hear everything. Every. Single. Thing. Hurry up and get ready, Sasha’s off at 5:30.”

You do hurry, flying out the door with wet hair, nothing more than a tinted moisturizer on your face and Historia on your arm, skipping and giggling the whole way to Scout’s like schoolgirls. Sasha greets you with stale peanuts and a round of drinks, something fruity and horrible like most of Sasha’s choices, but you’re too excited to comment on it, settling on your stool with a long sip. Just as you’re about to bring up your night, the details fizzing on your tongue like sweet champagne, Sasha leans over Historia to grin at you.

“Guess who got laid last night?” Sasha crows, pointing her fingers at herself. Historia and you both glance at each other, frowning in confusion.

“Wait, what? Who did you hook up with?” Historia tilts her head.

Sasha bites her lips and wiggles her eyebrows. “Hitch. Didn’t you two meet her at Eren’s? She’s like, so gorgeous.”

“What?” You and Historia shriek simultaneously, drinks forgotten.

“You didn’t even tell us–”

“When did you get her number–”

“She’s a lesb–”

“Okay, okay, chill,” Sasha laughs, holding her hands out in front of her, “I got her number the other day from Connie, and yes, she’s bi. Huge win for the gays, if you ask me.”

“Is it anything? Or just, like, a one-night stand?” You venture, voicing your own concern without realizing it. Sasha swats her hand through the air.

“One night for sure,” she says, “you know me, I’m like a tumbleweed. Just blowing on through, and onto the next.”

You visibly flinch. Just blowing on through, and onto the next. That was what you were doing, right? And Eren, too. You slurp the rest of your fruity drink down, flagging Levi over for a beer more to your taste. Historia’s got a pair of pitying eyes trained on you– fuck, it’s annoying how she can practically read your mind– but you don’t care. Drowning your sorrows before they can begin is a perfectly acceptable option in your mind.

“Um…I know someone else that got laid last night,” Historia ventures, smiling encouragingly at you.

“Finally!” Sasha pumps her fist obnoxiously. “Eren?”

Your face warms. “Yeah.”

“How was it?” Sasha’s practically squealing, ignoring the side eye that the Captain shoots her. “Is it really that big?”

“Um,” you hesitate, suddenly feeling bashful.

“Yes,” Historia’s eyes sparkle, “tell her!”

“Well,” your smile grows a little with her encouragement, “the rumors are true. It’s huge, and he was like–”

“I knew it!” Sasha jeers. Levi walks over, shooting her a glare.

“Be quiet,” you push her lightly, “I was saying, he was like, the best fuck I’ve ever had, hands down. I mean, literally all night and all morning. Oh, and it was so embarrassing, when he was cooking breakfast–”

Sasha interrupts you with a frown. “Breakfast? You slept over?”

You return her knitted-brow expression. “Well, yeah. Is something wrong with that?”

“No, it’s just weird,” Sasha mulls her words over before spilling, “Hitch and I got to gossiping, and he just…well, I don’t want to kill your vibe, but from everything Hitch said, he seems like a one-and-done kind of guy.”

“It’s still just a one night stand. I don’t think it matters all that much that I slept over.” You shrug, ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach. That was what you had agreed upon with yourself, one and done, and it should be music to your ears that Eren’s to eventually fade out of your life now that you’ve gotten the sex out of the way, but it’s just not relieving you like it should.

“And he made you breakfast?”

“Well, he tried. We sort of got…occupied and burnt everything,” you flush, “but he did make some kickass burgers the night before, so no harm no foul.”

Sasha and Historia exchange a look, one you don’t understand, and one you’re not sure you want to pick apart.

“I mean, knowing Eren, that’s crazy. When he was hooking up with Amy back in the day, he would like, summon her in the middle of the night and call her Uber home before she could even get her panties back on,” Sasha laughs to herself, seemingly unaware of the stunned expression all over your face.

You know his history, and yet it still surprises you that the Eren with the silly t-shirts, the Eren that had insisted on grading your students’ quizzes with a pink glitter pen, the Eren that had debated anime lore with you until the wee hours of the morning was the same Eren that Sasha was describing.

“To be fair, he’s only like that because of Breeze,” Historia points out, “he’s not a total asshole.”

“Breeze?” You ran through the mental list of people you knew that were associated with Eren, but you had never heard a Breeze in the mix. You hated her name already, so manic-pixie-dream-girl that your brain was already doing you the favor of painting a picture of her. Beautiful, artsy, effortlessly cool. Blech.

“His ex,” Sasha explains, “apparently he was so in love with her back in college, like beyond in love, buy-a-ring kind of in love.”

“Okay,” you say slowly, “what does that have to do with anything?”

Sasha raises her eyebrows as if it should have been obvious. “Breeze dumping him is what started his whole ‘womanizer’ thing. Apparently she really did a number on him. Like, that’s why he pumps and dumps like crazy. If I had a dollar for every girl I’ve heard of that cried over Eren, I could afford to tip Levi until he actually liked me.”

What the hell? You can feel your face contort in annoyance, trying to mask the way the idea of Eren just adding you to the notches in his bedpost hurts something small and already wounded deep in your chest, but Historia beats you to the chase.

“Don’t say it like that,” Historia nudges Sasha meaningfully, “you’re going to ruin it for her.”

“I’m not, if you would let me finish. Hitch just told me not to let you get your feelings hurt when he kicked you out, but I guess we don’t have to worry about that. You must have something magic in between your legs.” Sasha pinches your thigh with a crude smile. You swat her away, irritated.

“How would Hitch even know–”

“Okay, be serious here,” Historia cuts you off with an eye roll, “you two were all over each other when we went to Armin’s little pregame. Anyone with eyes would know you two were going to fuck each other silly at some point.”

“It’s not like we went out to a candlelit dinner or anything,” you scoff, “it was literally just sex.”

Sasha offers you a sheepish half-smile. “No, I know I just…I told her about your history with that kind of stuff. She was worried.”

“God, Sasha, why would you do that?” You rub your hands over your face miserably. “That’s so embarrassing. What if she tells Eren and he thinks I’m going to, like, fall all over myself just because we hooked up?”

“It just came up!”

“No point in denying it, especially not after Luke.” Historia looks at you pointedly, knowing the weight that that particular name held. You sort of want to smack her, but you haven’t heard his name in so long that you’re frozen. “But it sounds like it was fun, I think you needed it. A little TLC, if you will.”

Your heart thuds in a way it hasn’t in months, in a way it shouldn’t. “I don’t know what you expect me to say. It was late, it was just easier to fall asleep there, it wasn’t some fucking rom-com.”

“Mhm,” Historia eyes you, sipping her drink. You roll your eyes.

“I’m serious. I was dead after everything was said and done. I didn’t even realize I was asleep until I woke up.” Again, not a complete lie. Not exactly, at least. You decide to omit that Eren had brushed your hair softly with his fingers, pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, whispered a goodnight against your skin, woken you up with his head between your legs and his fingers threaded through yours. Those moments feel better nestled in your consciousness, just for you.

“What, did he wear you out?” Sasha smiles evilly at you. The excitement crops back up in your chest– you realize you haven’t even gotten into half of the antics of the night before.

“Honestly, it was so good that I–” you’re cut off by a familiar weight slinging around your shoulders. Shit.

“Talking about my burgers, right?” Eren’s materialized out of nowhere, smirking at you. Your face burns bright red.

Historia grins wickedly. “Yeah, she was telling us all about your burgers.”

“Stor!” You smack at her, embarrassed.

Eren ignores your chagrin, studying you until a little smile curls his mouth. “You look pretty.”

It’s simple, but it makes your stomach do a backflip. You need to get away from him, get away from what he’s already doing to you, but to your own disappointment, you know you’ll sit firmly on this barstool as long as he stands beside you. “I literally got out of the shower and came straight here.”

“So?” Eren smiles wider, thumbing at your lip. “Pretty.”

“What are you even doing here? Stalking me now?”

“Of course,” Eren shrugs, reaching over the bar to grab his beer from Levi’s ice well, a habit you don’t think you’ll ever get used to, “didn’t get a chance to murder you last night, so I’m here to finish the job.”

You’re confused until Historia pipes up. “Not funny, Jaeger. She wasn’t answering her phone!”

Eren scoffs. “Texting someone to ask if they’ve murdered your friend isn’t really a great game plan if you think she’s getting stabbed to death.”

“You did what?” You turn on your friend, eyes blazing.

“I was just checking,” Historia shrugs, unbothered, “he could be some psycho.”

“He’s not some psycho,” you roll your eyes at her, “haven’t you known each other for like, five years?”

“Are you sure?” Eren leans in, voice low and hot against the shell of your ear just like it had been last night as he pounded into you. The memory makes your chest tighten. “Might do all sorts of awful things to you if you’re not careful.”

“Don’t be a menace,” you muster up enough composure to shove him back away from your face, laughing lightly as if he hadn’t just made you weak in the knees.

“Can’t promise anything,” Eren chuckles, sipping his beer, “Armin and Connie will be here any minute, so it’ll go one of two ways. Either I’m babysitting Connie, or I’m going to make an ass of myself. Guess we’re rolling the dice.”

“You’re not working tonight?”

“Sort of,” Eren shrugs, “just a couple guys coming in, so I actually might have fun for once.”

“For once,” you repeat, letting a wicked smile tug at your lips. “Didn’t have fun last night?”

“I think you know exactly how much fun I had last night,” Eren digs his thumb into the bruise at the junction of your neck and shoulder, like he’d memorized exactly where he’d marked you. God knows he had seen you naked enough times to have the opportunity.

“A-Armin!” You choke out a greeting, relieved to see your mutual friend approaching before you completely lose the remaining self-control you have and tackle Eren in the middle of the bar. “Hi! It’s good to see you.”

“What’s it been, six hours now?” Armin smirks at you knowingly. You nearly cover your face in shame. Eren has an open-door policy with his closest friends, something you discovered this morning when Armin had strolled into the kitchen to find you sitting on the kitchen counter in nothing but a t-shirt and your panties, Eren between your legs and kissing you passionately amidst the smell of burning toast.

“She slept over?” Connie’s approached now, eyebrows raised as if Armin had just suggested that you’d run a marathon this morning. Maybe Sasha’s tidbit of gossip did hold some weight. Something flutters in your stomach, something you need to drown with a long swig of beer. “What, did you buy her flowers, too?”

“Mind your fucking business, dude,” Eren spits at him, unusually terse.

“Minding my business,” Connie holds his hands up defensively, eyes wide.

“Are you always this crabby, or are you just on your period?” you ask Eren, smiling up at him good-naturedly.

“Just don’t want them giving you any shit,” Eren shrugs, points at Historia and Sasha, “you’ve got these two for that.”

“They’ve been working overtime, trust me.” You narrow your eyes at Historia and Sasha, who widen their eyes innocently. Eren’s phone buzzes on the counter; he scowls when he checks it.

“Yo, get a load of this asshole,” he calls to Armin, “not walking with that much on me. Come to the Kappa house. What does this guy think I am, fucking UberEats?”

“He buys a lot, though,” Armin says thoughtfully, pausing in his conversation with Sasha to amble over and take a closer look at Eren’s phone.

“Yeah bro, I wouldn’t be saying ‘no’ to the dude dropping $1,500 every two weeks,” Connie agrees, nodding behind his beer. Eren groans.

“You think I should go?”

“Probably,” Armin smiles regretfully, patting Eren’s back, “but it’s around the corner, won’t even take you ten minutes.”

“I’ll come with you, if you want,” Connie says, noticing that Levi’s pointedly ignoring his efforts to order a drink.

Eren glares at Armin, slides his gaze over to you. “I’m sorry this keeps happening, do you mind? I’ll be back in five.”

“Don’t stress on my account,” you laugh, “get to work, you.”

“Five minutes,” Eren promises, abandoning his drink and heading for the door, muttering and swearing under his breath. That leaves you with Armin, who you can’t help but feel guilty around after the incident earlier today.

“So,” you let a deep breath fill your lungs, looking at Armin sheepishly, “I’m sorry about this morning. Obviously we weren’t expecting company.”

Armin waves you off, chuckling. “Don’t worry about it. Wouldn’t be the first time me or Eren walked in on each other in a compromising position.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? Do tell.”

“My lips are sealed,” Armin mimes locking his mouth with a key, “although…”

“What?”

“I can’t say I’ve walked in on anything quite so…domestic recently,” he grins. You frown, wishing more than anything that everyone would stop playing into this idea that you and Eren had a “thing” going on. Sure, he gave you butterflies and cooked you breakfast and all of the shit that people that had a “thing” together did, but it’s been one night, and you know you need to hold your horses before you drop your glass heart all over the sidewalk again.

“I wasn’t aware that one night stands were so serious these days,” you grumble into your beer. Armin laughs again, rubbing your shoulder.

“I’m just teasing you. Eren’s just…not the type to do breakfast in the morning, so you must be something special.”

You’re only capable of a wavering smile in return, already feeling the raw plucking of your overactive heartstrings in your chest. You knew this would happen if you took a chance on him, knew you were playing with fire, but you couldn’t help yourself, and now it’s biting you in the ass.

With your mind wandering into a terribly nostalgic state, you have half a mind to up and leave, especially when Armin wanders back over to Sasha to continue whatever fervent conversation they were having about Game of Thrones. Historia bringing Luke up sure didn’t help to quell the horrible twisting in your stomach; even hearing his name makes the hair on your arms stand up. You can feel the ghost of a shark tooth necklace dangling over you, digging into the back of your head as a pair of arms wrap around you. A booming laugh, sky-blue eyes…

Historia seems to be able to gather as much based on the look on your face, leaning over and placing a sympathetic hand on your arm.

“Are you okay? You seem…off.”

“I wish you wouldn’t have brought Luke up.” Your words lack the venom you want to unleash, sagging under the weight of your heavy heart. Historia nods understandingly.

“I know. It was so long ago, I didn’t know if it was still bugging you.”

“It’s not bugging me, I just wish that he…” you rub at your eyes, not even entirely sure of what you wish of him. Your admission comes out quiet, wounded. “I wish it had never happened.”

“But that’s why you need to move on,” Historia insists, rubbing your shoulder, “to get over someone, you have to get under someone else. That’s like, the rule of breakups.”

“It wasn’t a breakup, we weren’t even dating.” You feel guilty, in a way, for dragging down the mood. You’d run in here, all sunshine and aching legs, ready for a fun night of recounting every nasty detail of your time with Eren, and you hate how just the thought of Luke can pull you right back between your own bedsheets, curled around a carton of ice cream and surrounded by used tissues.

“Hey,” Historia lowers her voice, “just because he was too stupid to throw a label on it doesn’t mean it wasn’t real, okay?”

“It’s ridiculous that I’m still this hung up on him, though. Like, it’s pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic, but you’re not giving yourself a chance. You had your little fling with Floch—which again, yuck—and now you need to start opening your heart instead of your legs.”

“Poetic, Stor.”

“You’re not the only one who has a way with words,” Historia grins proudly.

“I just don’t even know where to start,” you admit, feeling a dangerous pressure behind your eyes. Fuck, you aren’t doing this, are you? Crying in Scouts over a guy that hasn’t even spoken to you in six months?

“Eren might be a good place to–”

“No,” you snap, “don’t even start with that, okay? Eren and I just met, and it was a one night thing anyway. Besides, it’s…it’s too soon. I’m just not ready to date again.”

“You are,” Historia insists, “you just don’t want to let go of him yet.”

Jesus, you are doing this. You go to respond and cut yourself off with a sniffle, wiping desperately underneath your eyes to mediate the salty tears threatening to slide down your cheeks.

The master of perfect timing today, Eren appears in the doorway, searching the room and locking his eyes on you. You can see the different emotions flicker across his face: happy to confused to concerned. Damn it. You duck behind Historia, grabbing her purse out of her lap and digging around for tissues.

“What happened?” Eren’s behind you, rubbing a large hand between your shoulder blades. You want to bolt for the bathroom and come back out refreshed as if nothing ever happened, but something tells you Eren won’t be so easily shaken off.

“Eren,” Historia sighs, snatching her purse back from you and finding a pack of tissues quickly, handing you one, “I don’t think this is the best time–”

“It’s fine, it’s nothing,” you dab at your tears, “Historia was just telling me about her…her dead grandma, and I got a little emotional, that’s all.”

Eren cocks an eyebrow at Historia, who’s glaring at you. “Dead grandma, huh?”

“They were very close,” Historia lies effortlessly, giving you a sharp pinch of punishment on your thigh.

“I’m buying a round,” Connie nods determinedly, flagging down Levi, much to the barkeep’s dismay, “no crying over dead grandmas tonight. We’re having fun, damn it.”

Historia pales. “I don’t know if that’s–”

“Tequila,” you cut her off, “thanks.”

Connie nods at you, so unusually solemn that you almost feel bad for your little white lie. “When my grandma died, I was a wreck. I’ve got you.”

“Nana’s not even dead!” Historia whispers urgently in your ear, still shooting daggers at you.

“I panicked!” You whisper-shout back, eyes wide. Historia rolls her eyes and grumbles something, but nods along. 

“Tequila again?” Eren makes a face, slipping his arm around your waist– fuck, you really wish he’d stop touching you so casually, as if it wasn’t enough to spark a fire in your core– and reaching over the bar for a new beer.

“Well…grandmas are a very sensitive topic for me, so yes, tequila.” You can’t hide the snark in your voice, but you’re not sure where it’s coming from. Eren frowns, removes his arm from you.

“I was just worried, sorry if I overstepped.”

You throw your shot back, shaking your head at the taste. Your hands scramble around for the lime that you set on the bar, Eren chuckling beside you despite himself. Once you’ve collected yourself, feeling the haze of the liquor hit you like a truck, you face him.

“You didn’t overstep,” you sigh, “I just…you know when a bad memory pops up in your mind, and you can’t really get it out, and then all your feelings just start coming out and you can’t– okay, I sound crazy, but I swear I’m not. Maybe it’s just like, a girl thing or something.”

To your surprise, Eren doesn’t look absolutely horrified at your haywire emotions. He only nods, looking at you thoughtfully. It occurs to you that he’s beginning to realize that you are not, in fact, crying over Historia’s very-much-alive grandmother.

“Actually, yeah, I do understand. It’s the worst.” Something about the earnest tone in his voice soothes you, makes you drop your shoulders from where they’re hunched and tense. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Positive. Can we just pretend that I’m not crying at the bar for no reason like a crazy person?”

Eren laughs and nods, mercifully deciding not to press you any further, redirecting your attention to where Connie and Sasha are now pelting each other with peanuts. The night ambles on, jokes are exchanged, more shots are taken, and before you know it, it’s reached near eleven. You check your watch and groan; in a little more than seven hours, you’ll be waking up at what’s seemingly the ass-crack of dawn to make a fresh weekly syllabus for the rising English experts of America. A hefty sigh leaves you as you set your phone down, recline back into Eren’s chest where he’s got both arms tossed around your shoulders.

“What is it?” Eren murmurs, nibbling on your ear. You swallow the swell of arousal rising in your throat; that little voice in the back of your head reminding you of your just one night! rule grows quieter.

“I need to wake up early,” you admit, playing with his fingers, “need to leave.”

“We can leave,” Eren doesn’t move from his position, placing a kiss behind your ear that sends goosebumps running up and down your arms, “‘m ready if you are.”

“Leave alone,” you chuckle, finally breaking free of his grip to spin on your barstool and face him. He’s pouting, a little furrow between his brows and a sad glint to his eyes. You have to consciously stop yourself from pulling his face down to yours, pressing your lips to his.

“Alone?”

“I have work to do in the morning.” You’re nervously chewing on your bottom lip, showing your own dishonesty. In truth, you don’t care what time you have to limp over to the library, but you fucked him just last night. And this morning. And over lunch this afternoon. Are you really so insatiable that you can’t follow your one-night-only rule, have to break your fast this soon?

“Even better,” Eren grins, “wasn’t I helpful last night?”

“No,” you roll your eyes, “not exactly.”

“Guess you’ll have to teach me, then.”

“I…” you trail off, how can you even begin to say “no” to a guy this gorgeous?

“You?” Eren cocks an eyebrow.

“I’m not really looking for anything right now.” Blue eyes. Red lips. The shark tooth necklace. It’s a bad response, too vague and too assuming, but it’s all you can come up with.

“Me neither,” Eren shrugs, something unreadable flickering over his features, “but we have fun together. Doesn’t have to be anything serious.”

"I'm not saying it does," god, you are so bad at this, "casual hookups just aren't the best thing for me."

"If we're going to stick a label on it," Eren muses, swirling the beer in his bottle around, "why not friends? With some...benefits?"

"Are we friends?"

"Are we not?"

You’re about to offer another feeble excuse, ignoring the way your heart cracks a little in your chest, when Eren’s phone buzzes on the bar. His eyes flit over to it, and something strange happens. Eren’s cool confidence slides right off of him, a look of…what? Bewilderment? Panic? Something comes across his face, something shaking and fragile and hurt. He snatches his phone off of the bar, angling it so you can’t see, staring at it intently.

“Eren?” you venture, raising a hand to grab his arm in concern, but thinking better of it, and shrinking away. “You okay?”

Eren blinks at you, like he can’t quite remember who you are. “What?”

“Are you okay? You seem…shaken.”

“Yeah, m’fine,” he shrugs you off, pain glittering behind his eyes.

“But you–”

“Said I’m fine.” Eren’s voice is harsh, close to a bark. You visibly flinch, a frown contorting your face. You don’t know him well, but even you can tell that this isn’t like him.

“Okay,” you say, quiet and wounded. An awkward silence settles between you both; you need to leave, but you’re unsure of how to make your move after that. It doesn’t necessarily seem like he wants your company anymore, but the idea of leaving him there so upset isn’t appealing either.

“You ready?” Historia’s voice, dripping with drunkenness, floats over your shoulder.

“Yeah.” You haven’t taken your eyes off of him, waiting for something, anything that might betray what’s going on in his head. Eren’s still staring at his phone, but when you voice your approval to Historia, he turns.

“Leaving?”

“Guess so.” You throw a thumb over your shoulder to where Sasha’s practically falling out of her barstool, demanding a piggy-back ride home from Connie. Eren sighs, something weighted and hefty.

“Sorry I’m being weird, it’s just–”

“We don’t need to talk about it. I get it.” You force a smile onto your face. Maybe you won’t be sleeping with Eren anytime soon, but against all odds, you already care about him, that damned too-big heart of yours thumping sadly in your chest at the defeated expression on his face.

“C’mere.” Eren tugs you to him, hugging you tighter than he ever has. You feel his lips crushing into the part in your hair, as if you’re something precious to him, something valuable. It makes your knees weak, makes alarm bells ring in your head. “I’ll tell you someday, alright? Just…not now.”

You nod against his chest, a watery, wet feeling gathering behind your ribs. “Okay. Only if you want to.”

When Eren pulls out of the embrace, he’s smiling again, light and breezy as if nothing had happened. “You strike me as a good listener.”

“Guilty as charged.”

"See?" Eren offers a small smile. "Friends."

You're so relieved to see that little smile grace his features that you can't argue the point with him any further. You smile back. "Friends."

“Get home safe, okay?”

"I always do. Stop worrying so much," you swipe playfully at his shoulder. It’s been a dizzying night, but the unwavering stability that Eren’s presence offers still grounds you, eases the butterflies in your stomach.

“Never.” Eren waves you off with a wink, and you collect your friends, heading for the exit. When you toss one last look over your shoulder, expecting to meet his playful gaze, you only find Eren frowning at his phone screen, peeling the label off of his beer bottle. Friends.

[professional-demon-master]

Cutting you off pt. 5

Asmodeus

Light Angst/comfort good ending!

Asmo x MC! GN pronouns.

* Right off the bat you learned how emotionally open asmodeus was.

* Not only when it came to show lust related feelings. He was so open all the time, and you kinda guessed that plays a big part when it came to him being extremely liked everywhere.

* It didn’t matter where you were, Asmo was the center of attention, he had everybody at his feet and trying to get his attention.

* Which was kinda uncomfortable to you when you two were out trying to spend some quality time together.

* Like right now, you both were out in the fall, dancing and drinking, just the two of you.

* … the two of you and the demons that kept stealing Asmo's attention by the minute.

* First it was the one who came with two shots (for him and Asmo) and entangled Asmo's arm with his so they could drink it together. Then the demon who stole his attention with some idle chatting right in the middle of your own conversation, and don’t even get him started in the ones who kept asking him to dance.

“Asmo!” You touched his shoulder and he looked at you, interrupting the demon that was whispering by his ear. “Darling! I was looking for you!”

“Really? Cause I was waiting for you by the bathroom, where you said you’ll be!” You almost yelled due to the volume inside the club. “Sorry dear! I got a little bit distracted in the way” he chuckled, turned to the other demon and said something to him before returning to you. “Let’s go get another drink! You took so long I finished my cocktail!” You suppressed the need of telling him it wasn’t your fault, he wouldn’t even listen anyway and you didn’t wanted to spoil the night before it even began.

* The night kept on going and you really tried to not feel bad everytime Asmo left you to go hang out with literally anybody else.

* Your last straw happened at the dance floor. You were both dancing together, and then another demon got behind Asmo to dance with him, then another one appeared at his side.

* After another one completely blocked you from his view and Asmo didn’t even noticed, you slowly made your way to an empty table.

* You kept looking at him tho, hoping to see him looking at you, but it didn’t happened.

“What’s wrong love? You were there one moment and the next one I couldn’t find you!” Asmo grabbed your arm in a friendly manner while he got a little too close to you. “30 minutes ago” “what?” I left the dance floor 30 minutes ago and you just noticed” you crossed your arms looking at him.

Asmo rolled his eyes at you, looking annoyed. This happened everytime he drank enough, or when he was too drunk in self love, luckily for you both were happening tonight! He tended to be a little bit more irritable and acted without thinking.

He took a sip of a drink the demon by his side offered him. He smiled at you drastically changing his demeanor “Stop crying! Are you coming back to dance or what?”

“No, Asmo. I wanna leave” you admired a little bit nervous and irritated with the whole situation. “What? No! Why would we do that? Just come back with us, it’s still early!” He grabbed your hand trying to make you stand up. “It’s 3 am and I’m tired, please, let’s just come back.”

“Ugh, why are acting like such a baby? You just wanna ruin my fun!” He frowned a little bit mad, talking a little bit louder this time. “Me? You ruined my fun! You haven’t even looked at me since we got here.” “Oh, so that’s the problem! You’re just jealous! You want to be by my side always and it’s tiring!” You gulped, a little bit hurt, trying to excuse him. Asmo is always a little bit emotional and flirty, but with a couple of drinks in him he tended to let his sin override his better judgement. “Asmo, it’s time to go back…” “No! I’m sick of it! I’m Asmo! Avatar or lust! jewel of the heavens! I could have fun with everyone I could ever want but you keep trying to be by my side always, spoiling my fun!” This time a couple of demons started looking your way; Asmo got closer to your face and almost fell trying to take a step back, “You’re not good enough to be with me all of the time, get over it.” He spoke with a lower voice, his nose almost touching yours and his index finger poking near your clavicle. He pulled back, now letting you watch his face as he grabbed the other demons hand and a drink that another person offered him. “I’ll go home when I feel like it” he spoke loudly, but not quite yelling. You felt ashamed, demons were now returning to their own conversations but that didn’t stopped a few of them from looking at you mockingly, another couple of them with pity.

You almost ran out of the club, trying to get home before you started ugly crying in the street.

* By the next morning you woke up with puffy eyes and a sore throat.

* You did your best to make your eyes look normal before getting breakfast.

* When you arrived there you were thankful to notice Asmo wasn’t there. It wasn’t abnormal, almost every time he went out, he would wake up later than usual.

“We didn’t expected you here this early” Lucifer’s voice made you snap out of your own thoughts. When you looked confused he explained, “You went out with Asmo last night, didn’t you? You must have returned pretty late.”

“Oh” your stomach hurt, of course you weren’t going to tell him about Asmo's actions from last night and how you ended up coming back on your own way earlier than he did. “I just… came back earlier, he ran into some friends and I was too tired to keep partying”. When the whole table looked convinced at your story, you silently exhaled and went back to looking at your plate, trying to concentrate in what the brothers were talking about instead of what was going on in your head.

* Your efforts to avoid Asmo during the weekend worked. Whenever you were at HoL you tried to stay in hidden in whatever room the brothers were at, and when it was time to eat you’ll convince Beel to go out.

* It wasn’t just your work either. Asmo had also restrained himself from spending time with you.

* He didn’t actually remember all of the fight from the day prior - not as intense as it actually was anyways - but it was pretty common for you to be mad the day after a big party.

* Whatever reason it was, he always knew you would probably be mad at him after partying and kinda ignored you the day after that, but never actually apologized

* The firsts times this happened, you didn’t think much of it. He was drunk so he probably didn’t remembered, and you were also drinking so maaaaybe you overreacted, right?

* Of course as time passed, you started getting this feeling that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Why didn’t he talked to you? Why didn’t he apologized? Didn’t he wanted to knew what he did to make you upset?

* So when this whole situation happened at The Fall, it was your breaking point.

* Not talking to you? Fine! See what I care. This time you weren’t gonna come back like nothing had happened, he embarrassed you! And in front of a really good amount of demons, nonetheless!

* So when Monday rolled around and you didn’t answered Asmo's singsongy ‘good morning’, he found it weird.

* And it wasn’t just that. The whole breakfast you would talk to his brothers pretty normally, but whenever he started talking too, you would go completely silent. His brothers didn’t seem to notice it but he did! And it was making him upset.

* You didn’t sit with him in the class you both shared today, nor did you pass notes during the lesson.

* And don’t even get him started on the way you also ignored him during diner.

* He was so mad he had the fight himself to avoid frowning all day long. A little misunderstanding like this wasn’t going to give him a wrinkle

* The next day he was hopeful you would have time to talk it out, you both use to walk together on Tuesdays since you two had an early class together.

* But when you left as soon as he was joining breakfast with the excuse that Solomon and you were going to meet up to study before class started, all his hopes deflated and he started to felt a disgusting feeling growing in his stomach.

* He wasn’t going to give up that easily, oh no. He actually got to class early and made sure that everybody was sitting anywhere but beside him, so you two would have to sit together.

* And so you did. He had a relaxed smile while he watched you writing notes as the lesson began.

* “Hey Mc ~ want to meet up in my room before dinner so we can do homework together? We can also try this new face mask that I bought. It’s supposed to be amaziiing” he whispered, or tried at least, while leaning in to you. “No, thank you. Satan is helping me with homework today.” You answer was so harsh he felt shocked for a second. “O-Oh, that’s okay darling” he tried to sound as okay as he could, since when did you declined an offer to be with him?

* He tried talking to you again after the lesson ended but you practically ran out of class. He did his best to catch you and your last class of the day, waiting patiently next to your locker.

* You were too concentrated in your DDD to actually look at him before you arrived, leaving you unable to escape him this time.

* “Hello Mc~, I was looking for you all day!” You looked at him briefly before returning your eyes to your locker, opening it and changing some of the books you were holding. Asmo took your silence as a sign to continue, “Wanna walk home together? I saw this cute ice cream stand on the way here, we could go there and take some photos together for my feed too!” You closed your locker, finally looking at him, “No, I’m okay” Asmo frowned, “what do you mean you’re okay?” “I just don’t want to” you tried to leave the conversation there, but Asmo grabbed your wrist before you could escape. “Why… have you been avoiding me?” It was your time to frown, having to fight to keep your mouth closed instead of letting it hang open due to the surprise. Really? “Are you serious, Asmo? You don’t remember how shitty you were with me?” “Ugh, is this about the Saturday thing? Seriously?” “Yes seriously! You embarrassed me and you were extremely rude to me. It was completely uncalled for!” Asmo rolled his eyes “ugh, okay. I didn’t knew it meant so much to you. Im sorry, okay?” He exhaled “Now can we move forward?” You kept your lips in a thin line, feeling anger and sadness mix in your chests making you feel like you were about to slap him and cry in any second. “No. I’m done with this endless loop of you being mean to me whenever you want and me just letting it slide without even getting an apology. Forget it.” You jerked your wrist out from his hand. “I don’t want to be around you, Asmo. You hurt me and you don’t even seem to notice or care” you spoke calmer this time looking at him. His expression was hard to read, was he annoyed? Or just indifferent? “Goodbye, I’ll walk myself home” you practically ran down the stairs while Asmo stood in place. Hurt them? He knew he was a little bit more blunt than usual when he had a some cocktails on him but still, he didn’t said anything that bad, did he? It was probably just that you were touchy and emotional whenever you had alcohol in. It had to be that.

* “Ugh, whatever” he muttered while trying to avoid his shocked expression show. He didn’t needed this, he could get any friend he wanted. If MC wanted to act like a child, so be it.

* Asmo was doing good. Great, actually.

* He used to spend so much time with MC he almost forgot how many people wanted to be with him!

* He had a different companion every lunch, a group of demons following him around when he went out shopping and don’t even get him started about the invitations to go out he had almost every night.

* Wanted to do his skincare routine with someone? No problem, a demon is arriving before he could even begin to ask him. Asmo wanted to have a shopping spree and needed someone to ask for opinion? The demon that was in his history class was there.

* He didn’t even thought about your fight for days!

* Until he saw you eating near the fountain with the twins and Mammon.

* He was on his way to meet another group of demons who asked him to eat together that day. Too into his own mind to realize you were there before seeing you foreground.

* It was… weird. The way you were hanging with his brothers felt different than his recent lunch dates.

* You were sitting in the grass, Beel by your side, eating a burger and fries at the same time, Mammon in front of you talking about something he ignored and Belphie laying in your lap, falling asleep with a smile in his face while he commented something he couldn’t decipher either. You laughed and started caressing Belphie's hair. You started talking with a smile plastered in your face, one that made Asmo feel strange.

* When was the last time he had any meaningful conversation with the people he had been hanging out with? He tried to ignore it, but most of the time they wouldn’t talk or would just praise whatever he would say.

* He hated the upsetting feeling that was settling in his stomach. He hated even more that he j ew how he could fix it.

* That day he ate alone.

* And his after school meetings didn’t went very well either. He had a couple of demons getting a spa treatment with him, in a salon full of people, but he never felt more alone.

* After 30 minutes of demons listening to him bickering about nothing in particular, he decided to try to recreate the kind of atmosphere he had when hanging out with the MC.

* “So… have any of you done anything interesting lately?” The demons looked at him, confused “Nothing as interesting as the things you do everyday, Asmodeus.” One of them answered with a smile plastered on their face. “Well, but like, none of you do anything outside of waiting to hang out with me?” They looked at each other and shook their heads “you don’t have any good stories to chit chat about? A new series you started watching? A weird fixation you know way too much about?” “Do you want us to have some of those? We could create something right now!” Asmo fought to keep his sadness hidden. “Ugh… no, forget it. It’s not the same” he let out a sigh, “let’s just get this over with.”

* That night Asmo felt lonelier than he did before. It wasn’t just the fact that he noticed how empty those demons were, it was the fact that none of them was as interesting and comfortable to hand around as you, MC.

* And whats even worse, none of them stay around enough. They like Asmo for what he has and gets, not for who he is and what he has to offer outside of his lust and social position.

* Yes, a lot of people want to hangout with Asmodeus, avatar of lust, but not a lot of them want to stay with Asmo. And even if they did, none of them are you, MC.

* The next day Asmo convinced himself that he needed to get back his situationship with you.

* Even if he had to accept he fucked up and needed to apologize.

* He tried, he really tried to work up the courage to go and talk to you, but, weirdly, he felt nervous.

* What if you realized you actually were better without him? What if you had actually replaced him with his brothers? You did look happy these last days.

* And what’s even worse, he could never catch you alone!

* He tried to talk to you before the first period, but you were too busy hanging around Satans locker, helping him carry some books back to the library.

* During lunch Diavolo and Bsrbatos were all over you, talking about some human realm festival that was happening next month.

* And in the classes you were together, you had already found other partners for every activity. It was frustrating and infuriating. What did everyone else had that he didn’t?

* “… so this is how Levi feels, uh?”

* But finally, and after waiting for a long time, he caught you alone reading in a bench while waiting for Mammon to walk home together after class.

* He took a big breath before walking to you, hands in his side and lips pursed

“Hey, Mc. Can we… talk?”

You raised your face yo look at him and he felt nervous for a minute. This was so unlike him it was making his tummy feel weird. “I suppose.”

Asmo sat down in the bench, letting a small silence cover your conversation. “I’ve missed you, MC” “really? Didn’t seemed like it” Asmo intertwined his fingers, “yeah, I know. I’ve spent all week looking for ways to avoid thinking about you, but I’ve failed, clearly.”

You looked at him before turning your face back to your book. Asmo felt frustrated, too many feelings in his chest but only so much he could express with words. “I’m sorry Mc, I really do. And I’m sorry it took me this long to say it, and to realize that I could never replace, not even if I tried” You turned the book back down and he took that as a sign to keep going. “I really thought about everything I do remember from that day and even though it’s not much, I know I can be a little difficult to deal with when partying and I’m sorry, I must’ve gutted you pretty bad, but I don’t want yo be that person again, I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” Asmo exhaled and kept going this time getting a little closer, “It’s completely okay if you don’t want to forgive me, really. I hurt you, and I never want to be that person again. I swear, if you give me another chance, this won’t ever happen again. I don’t want you to feel unappreciated ever again.” He took your hand, slowly, trying to see if there were any signs of resistance. “And I just… I wanted you to know that you are important to me and nothing could ever replace you. I want to do better for you because you’re worth it.”

You looked at Asmo for a really long time before actually breaking a little smile, tears gathering in your eyes. “Oh Asmo.” You went in for a hug, that Asmo quickly deepened, pulling you as close as he could. “That’s all I wanted. For you to say you’re sorry and to acknowledge my feelings. I don’t want us to grow apart.” “Me neither! Do you know how boring and sad my days were without you around?” You laughed a little, your face buried in Asmo's neck “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” “Hey Asmo, it’s okay. We’ll work on it together, okay?” “Yes, please. I don’t want us to fight ever again”

Asmo let you go after a while, holding you by the shoulders. “So, spa day to celebrate?”

Asmo has really grown on my these past months

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

While I was in the hospital, there was a... fight at home, between Nico, my Mom and even Ana.😒That's why we went to N.'s Mom's. I was a little nervous to stay here with Lucas .This was his first time, we didn’t spend at home. Also, Nico wanted our son to sleep in his own bed tonight, which our Baby never did. I thought it was too much for our little one. 😟But... well, I just did what N. wanted because..., yea, I think he was right.

Me: I’m not sure he’s ready to sleep alone? He’s never slept in his crib and he’s never been here! You know how sensitive he is.

Nico: His bed is not even two steps away from ours!!! I’ll also keep the light on for him, okay?... I want to sleep with you alone in our bed tonight.

Me: W-why? 😬I mean, I know why, but... he’s gonna be scared in his crib... Soon we move into our own apartment. Then everything will be better.

Nico: Why don't you care about me? Do you feel no desire for me at all?

Me: Ofc I do! I just haven’t been feeling well, as you know! And you’ve been gone for 3 months, so don’t blame me.

Nico: You’re acting like I’m forcing you to sleep with me. That’s not the point! I’m upset, because you don’t care and don't try. But you had time to see Daniel. 😠

Me: Oh!😞...Okay, yes! It was absolutely stupid of me to go to D., but I just wanted to see Lucky, not Daniel! He has his own life and I have mine, with you & our son. I’ve missed you so terribly the past 3 months, I just keep thinking about you. It’s always only about you for me.

Nico: But you missed the divorce date and... I’m tired of waiting for you to finally divorce him.

Me: I was in the hospital! Do you think I got sick on purpose to prevent the divorce?? Agh, anyway! Help me up, pls.

I gave in. Our little one must finally learn to sleep in his own bed. And as for Daniel, yea, I missed the divorce date.😞 Ugh, let’s see, when we’ll get the next one. 🤦‍♀️

Back to our Baby. Once I put Lucas down for the night, he started crying. 😫😫What a surprise! 😒

Me (to N.): You see? I was right. It's too much for him.

Nico: Go to him and tell him it’s all right. Tell him we’re here, but leave him in his crib!

I felt a little stupid doing what Nico wants me to do, like he’s my boss or something. Still, I agreed. I went back to my Baby. I stroked his head gently. I was about to take him in my arms, but the little one actually calmed down and fell asleep peacefully. Now that it's done, I had to take care of the other Baby here. The big one! 🤨

I did the same thing I just did with Lucas. I stroked his head 🫡 and told him that I loved him... 🤭

Well, and a bit more. But, we didn’ really have Sex. First, our Baby was fussing all night!! 😫 We were constantly interrupted.

Second, at exactly the right moment, our Son started pooping. Like he knew what Nico and I were up to. Before that, Lucas never pooped at night and he never did it again, as far as I know. 😕🤷‍♀️I guess he wanted to keep his Mom and Dad from having fun together, which I totally understand!!😬🫣

Anyway. Our first night in the house was exhausting. Nevertheless, it was pleasant compared to the nights before, when I had to cope alone with our crying Baby. Nico was a much better support for me, than my annoying Mom, who constantly criticized me. But, let’s see.

Previous/Next

[ssruis]

Lethal tenmas induced mental illness attack. At some point I need to write up a long post on their relationship but for now take these lines with minimal commentary. attempt to figure out the points and connections I’m making in my head if you’d like.

(Doll Festival at the Tenmas)

> Difference in how they describe Tsukasa bringing saki the dolls (saki focusing on him bringing them to her even though he got hurt, tsukasa focusing on how he failed and got the dolls dirty)

(Saki’s Live with Memories card story)

> “w/out you I wouldn’t have been able to deal w all the treatment” what if I died

> tsukasa trying to see from the brother’s side, saki does the opposite. I don’t think Tsukasa would do what the brother did in LwM but I think he can see where he’s coming from.

> there’s a point I could make about the brother pulling back to encourage the sister to bond w her dad’s new family (wrt saki & L/N and tsukasa) but it’s more of a “it could be looked at an extreme version of what could happen/could have happened” situation & I don’t trust tsukasa fans not to misread it and villainize saki. Bc the brother was in the wrong here but we all know how tsukasa fans treat the main story. Anyways.

(Toya’s Doll Festival card story)

> most evil moment in the entire game I hate the writers.

> Sense of responsibility for her wellbeing happiness vs saki seeing that and trying to hide any sadness to prevent him (& her parents) from worrying.

(Tsukasa’s Doll Festival card story)

> saki guilt complex

> “then it’ll be dark and I’ll be alone” said by tsukasa as a kid in a flashback (saki is well aware that he is also struggling) (hence the guilt complex) (evil!)

(Tsukasa’s Dazzling Lights card story)

> autotuned baby crying.

(Tsukasa’s Twilight Musical Parade card story)

> no one wants to talk about saki & the guilt she feels about people doing things for her esp wrt tsukasa like. Look. Tsukasa does it happily. He would saw off his arm if she asked.

> But saki doesn’t ask for that and that level of dedication to her happiness is something she feels she needs to repay (on some level). But he won’t let her because he doesn’t think it needs to be repayed. Stalemate.

> all that to say I think “was it all for me” is such an insane line that goes so under recognized because nobody wants to analyze saki. Can you imagine how scary it would be to worry that the path a loved one is taking is entirely for you. You can’t repay that. It’s too much. I’m tired but the point I’m making is I think Saki wanted to know that he wasn’t doing it all for her.

> Cut out tsukasa’s answer but I think “I was but that was only the beginning & now I am an insane freak about theatre it’s my life” was a perfect answer. Turns it from a weight saki would feel into a gift saki gave him. You know.

Saki: I always kept how I really felt a secret to make sure you wouldn’t worry about me.

Saki: I couldn’t say what I really meant. I just smiled and nodded. It’s no wonder that you didn’t understand how I really felt, Tsukasa.

(Doll Festival at the Tenmas)

> as I said.

Tsukasa: However, Saki doesn’t want anyone to worry about her. Not even her own family.

Tsukasa: So she tries to keep quiet about feeling unwell from anyone else…

(Rui’s Twlight Musical Parade card story) (**EDIT I’m a fraud it’s tsukasa’s not Rui’s)

> as I said (p2)

Saki: Tsukasa…

Saki: (He took a day off from his part time job to stay home with me.)

Saki: (That’s one more person I’ve inconvenienced.)

(First Star After the Rain)

> saki guilt complex again. Foundational quote wrt her relationship w tsukasa.

> “the complications of my illness are a burden on my loved ones that I can never pay back” would love for colopale to challenge this (grabbing the writers by the neck and shaking them like a dog with a chew toy)

(Valentine’s Day Alliance)

She’s talking abt not relying on her friends here but this is p clearly a mindset that carries over to her relationship with her family.

Toya: Also, you’d never turn away a sick animal. There’s no way you could ever do anything cruel to someone with an illness.

(On the Stage of Dazzling Lights)

> said while saki is like 2 ft away. What this was my final straw colopale.

(On the Stage of Dazzling Lights)

> haha he’s like a dog (mocking so I don’t feel sad)

> as I’ve talked abt before on other posts: her happiness is his happiness. His middle school sad era is because saki was suffering. People who make content abt this and make the angst way higher than it canonically is while literally ignoring saki is so insane to me. I feel like the joker.

Tsukasa: … You did well, Hiro. You’re officially the coolest big bro in the world right now.

Tsukasa: That’s why, even for just a little while, you should keep those tears on hold.

Tsukasa: Your friend and sister are watching.

Hiro: ….sniff…. Okay!

Tsukasa: Alright! Now go out there with your head held high!

Tsukasa: (“Weird face”, huh?)

Tsukasa: (Maybe Meg has never seen that kind of face before since she’s his little sister.)

(Tsukasa’s fragment sekai card story - TL Tsukasa’s #3 Fan)

> they could never make me hate this card peak tsukasa peak tsukasa peak tsukasa. It’s peak.

> “maybe she’s never seen it before because she’s his little sister” I’m going to kill him with my own two hands.