#that you couldn’t

[firephoenix23]

Like I literally have second hand embarrassment for Vox after seeing what Alastor ACTUALLY is like in a rivalry.

Like homie wishes he could be that close to Alastor 😂😂

[millificent]

Every Nico Di Angelo fan focusing more on the background of the episode than the actual plot

[peacheskoo]

Saw these panels the other day and—

LET JASON BE SILLY YOUR HONOR

He knows he won’t no balls

[ditzybat]

tim: mr red hood, i know you’re about to kill me, but can you just proof read my essay on macbeth before you mutilate my body with bullet holes?

jason: kid, do i look like someone who did well in school?

tim: …

jason, 4.0 gpa teachers pet, whose built like a tank and looks like an escaped convict: shut up, don’t answer that, and hand me your shitty essay

[firefox-official]

artists rendition of my first day of college

[lilgynt]

i cannot even be sick without my mom being like i will make you want to kill urself

[crownorclover]

dungeon burgers

[thesteamhunk]

Ooooh epic girlies (mostly on TikTok) I am BEGGING you to learn the mythology because no. No no no Circe and Calypso are not girlboss. No you do not want to ship them with Odysseus.

Girl I am begging you. Do not call original Odysseus a cheater I am still saying it. Don’t go down this path girl. Hold my hand and we will read the myths together so you understand

[philsmeatylegss]

Even if it was for one year in fifth grade <3

Extra points for leaving in tags for how many years and if you still do

[moechies]

satoru’s punishments 🎀🎶

gojo satoru who focuses his infinity around his already-meaty cock so you’re unable to sink that pretty pussy down on him.

satoru is naturally one to discipline, considering his profession as a teacher. he knows clearly what’s right from wrong, and won’t let you off the hook as if you’re one of his students. you think it’s unfair, but if you were to think that gojo satoru cared so much about your incessant little opinions, you’d be called dumb.

your soppy cunt prods against his protected tip, urging your body lower to sheath his fat girth inside, but to no avail.

“satoru,” you mewl, “i said ‘m sorry. really r-really sorry.”

“hm.” he shrugs, one hand cupping your soft butt, and the other around the edge of your waist. his fake efforts to help you when he’s the one preventing you from pleasure is ironic, and it makes you an unspoken amount of angry.

but your anger is overwhelmed by your carnal desires from the sight of him alone, and the only thing floating through your pretty little mind is to get this cock in you.

“please— let me—“

“no.”

he glides your slick cunt across the faux protection, grinding you down so harshly, spreading your sensitive lips and pressing against your clit so harshly it almost hurts. “y’don’t deserve it, you brat.”

“i d— i do, satoru. d-don’t say that !”

he can’t deny how your sweet little mewls and begs for cock get him uncomfortably hard, wanting nothing more than to feel your chubby walls flesh to flesh with his cock. but he knows you’ll never learn, knows that you’ll be just as bad if he lets you off. even if it’s just this once.

“satoru—“

his wet cock slips from under you, falling against his pelvis and plapping against his tummy. you take the chance to lower yourself, rubbing your sore cunt on the smooth length of his cock.

you rock your hips ever so gently, grinding down on visible, but untouchable veins decorating his gorgeous cock. you’re eager to get your cunt off, but ensure your boyfriend doesn’t grow any angrier.

gojo undeniably grinds up just as desperately against your cunt, listening to the tuneful melody your sweet pussy plays for him. short pants leave his dewy lips, holding your chubby hips down firmly and setting his own pace. “shit. brat.”

he loves the look of panic in your eyes when his hips come to a slow, and soon to a stop, leaving you to mindlessly grind on his cock alone. your crying clit tingles from everything that’s led up to this moment.

but—

“did i say you could do that ?”

your movements come to an abrupt stop when his hands splay across your hot thighs, holding you down tight against his pelvis.

“b-but, you were also grindin—“

“yeah, i was. did i say you could ?” he spits, voice laced with poisonous venom that silences you immediately. his eyes are intimidating, not an ounce of forgiveness or pity lays within them.

“not good. what to do with you ?”

he tugs you off his hip, switching your position so that you’re soon under him.

and for the first time, his bare cock slaps against your puffy lips, and nudges at your raw clit. you moan with inexpectance, the mere feel of his cock slapping against your raw cunt nearly has you cumming.

“s a shame y’don’t know how to act right. c’mere.” he motions, pressing down on your shivering shoulder, “come ‘n suck your cock rights back.”

[kewpiekills]

gross old man drinking problem

[anessthetic]

happy new year everyone :]

[go-go-gadget-autism]

”Right. And what’s his name?”

“Simon.”

you stare at your husband for a second, dumbfounded. “and… what’s his last name?”

“Riley.”

“…You named your dog Simon Riley.”

He grinned from ear to ear. “Bloody handsome name, innit?” You sighed, dragging your hand down your face. “You are so stuck up sometimes.”

“You always said you wanted a guard dog.” Right, and now you’ve got two of them. “Is he chipped-?” “Got him all ‘is necessary shots and the like, birdie. Don’t worry your pretty little head.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you can’t help but smile at him. As strange as your husband may be…

You think he’s perfect.

[camofag]

the public reaction to i saw the tv glow is like a perfect case study into how cis people take up queer spaces and unknowingly mock and enjoy trans suffering. sitting in the theater, i had a pit in my stomach the entire time. so many times, i would tear up and then someone else in the theater would laugh. and i wouldn’t cry because how would they look at me when the lights came back on? because they don’t see it. they don’t see the pain. they think it’s funny. i left the theater completely silent, not saying a word to my boyfriend and he didn’t say a word to me until partway into the drive home. the people around us immediately got to picking it apart, explaining what it all meant to each other, dumbing it down, making theories. cis people see the the movie, just like transness, as something to debate. a conversation. something to dissect because it makes them uncomfortable if they don’t understand it in their easily digestible way.

[glassiskies]

in which aziraphale reverts to old habits, crowley is outraged, and they still do not talk about it

[thatonedudeinthecorner]

Obsessed with the fact that the spideypool dynamic can be watered down to “miss you pookie bear” “oh lord” mindset