#anyway that's a tangent i'm just thinking out loud

[julysn]

Hii! Sorry, I'm a little embarrassed to ask you this >-<, but could you do an Andy Graves x Reader fanfic?I'm so obsessed with the post what it would be like to date Andrew, oh if I could ask for one more thing could it be on the decay route or without Ashley?

𝓝otes ⋆ i think you’re the same anon from the andy graves post so HI AGAIN!! also two writing posts in a day who dis

also. also. no ashley as always. my ass is too tired to string this into decay route so i was like “… just no ashley is fine” IM SORRY okay you said “or without ashley” so i went w the latter

anyways HERE IT IS! i didn’t know what to do for this so it’s kinda short and sucks ass. ended up doing what i do best—smut so um hope u like this 😭 sorry for tangent yk how i am i guess..

𝓘ncludes cursing, oral sex, there isn’t much dialogue just head. blowjobs. did i mention sex? slightly ooc maybe idk i wasn’t thinking when i wrote this

𝓢ynopsis ⋆ basically you suck cock until he cums. porn no plot

“That’s it, baby.” Andrew coos, his hand getting tangled in your hair as he watches your head bop up and down, his cock in your mouth. He can’t help but love the sensation of your saliva coating his shaft, watching you envelop his member into your mouth like it was the last thing you’d ever dox

You look up into his eyes, gazing into his lust-filled orbs, watching as ecstasy clouded his vision from each and every time your tongue brushed against his sensitive foreskin. Andrew was just so pretty like this, one hand across his mouth and the other hand in your hair as his cheeks flushed red.

“Mmm, Y/N..” A soft gasp escapes his lips, eyes fluttering shut as his fingers wrap around the strands of your hair and begin to tug, tugging you up and down his cock, forcing your pace to accelerate. “I’m close, babygirl..”

Suddenly, Andrew falls off of the edge of heaven, ejaculating into your mouth as his cum drips down into your throat. He lets out a loud, deep groan, his hands tightening in your hair as your eyes widened and you swallowed down all of the semen.

𝓝otes ⋆ sorry guys if i got the male anatomy stuff wrong AND YES ik this was short 😭😭 if anything’s inaccurate i’ve never had sex saur…

[theomenroom]

Tangent and Instance thoughts/my Tangent theory. Spoilers for my two friends I just got into exocolonist; wait 'til you've seen the whole women's wrongs plot and then come back. @dillypillars I'm tagging you since you asked to hear my Instance thoughts.

Tangent is an abused child. Before anything else, before she's an amoral scientist or a workaholic genius, she's an abused child.

She's also brilliant. She is capable, at nine years old, of sometimes, if she overstretches herself, gives up even the little sleep she still needs with her augment, producing results on the level of an adult scientist, a habit which becomes lifelong and eventually kills her.

The only praise she cares about is Instance's, and overstretching herself like that is the only way to get that. She's taken on responsibilities most adults spend years of dedicated training to get ready for, as a preteen.

She's isolated from her peer group. In the bar arc, Dys outright tells you that since she started her gene therapies with Instance, she's thought herself smarter and better than her peers to the point that the only ones who try to keep in touch with her are Marz (who's immune to anything Tangent might say to push her away) and maybe Sol (who, if they tried to keep up with Tangent aboard the ship, is also a nerdy science kid, although not (yet) on the same level).

That her isolation is because she thinks she's smart and mature for her age (because she's being held to adult expectations and sometimes succeeding) doesn't make it any less isolation.

Instance encourages this isolation. Instance sometimes even orders it (there's a line when you approach Tangent in late-game where she's like "Instance says I'm not to be distracted by visitors").

Instance also tramples her sense of scientific ethics. Tangent comes to Sol about the engineered plague with ethical concerns about deploying it, but she's not going into that conversation with an open mind at all. She wants her friend and peer to tell her everything is alright; if Sol instead echoes her ethical concerns back to her (or comes at her with new ones), she throws up the same defenses and excuses about how she would do anything for Instance (🚩🚩🚩) that she's doubtless used to suppress those concerns for herself before.

As an aside, I also don't buy that Instance didn't start research on the Engineered Plague until ordered to do so by Lum. Tangent has mad scientist "this could change everything" moments years before in the Strato colony, when you're researching the Shimmer. It might not have been a research priority before Lum, but I don't think the evidence supports Instance not having considered inventing bioweapons to exterminate inconvenient Vertumnan species.

Then there's the epilogue; I've never seen Tangent keep the chief engineer job for more than a year despite everything Instance has done to groom her for the position (wording intentional). She's put aside a lot of her own wants and ambitions to fulfill Instance's goal of having a worthy successor, and then without Instance she realizes she doesn't even want it. If she almost built the plague, that experience is a life-defining trauma for her. She wasn't even 18 yet when she worked on that, but she trusted Instance to know what's best, did as she asked, and suffered a life-defining trauma from the moral dissonance.

One of the most glaring "something is wrong here" moments for me was one of Tangent's colony dialogue blurbs when she was like "only Instance truly respects me," she says to Sol, who she is dating at the time.

I think on some level she really believes that. There's probably some cognitive dissonance between recognizing what she has with a Sol who's approaching her on her level, for the most part, and what she has to believe for Instance (which is what she says out loud), but she navigates that anyway.

At the risk of running off even further into unpopular opinion territory, I think Tangent and Instance's dynamic is actually the better depiction of abuse in Exocolonist (which is surprising, because it's not mentioned in the game's content warnings at all). Anemone and Vace's relationship is a power fantasy of being a bystander to an abusive relationship; you catch Anemone when her heavily-armed, hyper-possessive boyfriend with anger issues is giving her the silent treatment once, tell her she deserves better than that, and she's like "you know what, you're right, I do!" and leaves him and everything is good. Tangent's is more realistic. You might not even see it unless you really focus and look. Sol doesn't see it, across multiple timelines, even if they're dating Tangent in some of them. There's nothing you can do about it; intervening even to echo thoughts she's brought to you just pushes her away. Tangent is getting an emotional need met there that she doesn't think she could get anywhere else. That's more often what it's like.

[mariasabanahabanabana]

Wait... what?

Pairing: Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos x Adopted!Daughter!Reader x Ellie Williams.

Summary: Your innocence and naivety almost ended up getting you and Ellie into serious trouble.

A/N: I know I've said it before, but, not all of my fics will follow the chronological order of the story, nor will they be as faithful to their origins, I mean, in certain aspects, but not all of them.

Warnings: Slight mention of topics such as stalking, farting, and kidnapping… (Don't worry, I won't go into them too much).

Spanish version available here

If there was something that kept surprising and at the same time disappointing (in an ironic way) both you and Ellie, it was the fact that despite being at the end of the hell of the world, schools still existed, it was mandatory to attend them, homework was still as or worse complicated and of course, taking classes that probably wouldn't help you at all, well, this would depend on what you would do in the future if there was one, to begin with.

A thought that deep inside Joel, as well as Tess, Tommy, Maria, or Marlene supported, but that none of them dared to admit out loud so as not to discourage you. With the exception of Tommy, who once when you called him for help with your trigonometry homework scoffed at the usefulness of the assignment. "I'll tell you something kiddo, in all this time I've been surviving the damn apocalypse I have never used tangents or anything like that and if I'm honest, I don't know how knowing that could help me defend myself against a clicker, anyway, where were we at?"

Yeah, maybe after that Joel "forbade" you girls from asking his younger brother for help with Homework.

Anyway, today was their first day of classes and both you and Ellie couldn't find yourselves more terrified and at the same time fascinated by the subjects to be studied in the following months.

Luckily for you, your classes were over, and possibly Ellie's too, you didn't have too much homework, and with the minimal homework that came to you or became complicated, you could help each other, although, thinking better of it, you couldn't. Since you and Ellie were not good at the practical part of the science, the best thing to do would be to go to Marlene or Tess.

Bored of waiting alone and standing in the middle of the hallway for Ellie, your friend and non-biology sister, you decided to go out to distract yourself for a while, a situation that would not be a problem given your extreme curiosity, naivety, which sometimes led you to peculiar situations, not to say problematic, just like right now.

When Ellie finally got out of her last class, the first thing she did was to look for you, not finding you in the library or in the cafeteria, she assumed you would be in the garden at the entrance, and so it was. There you were, standing there talking with a couple that clearly was twice your age, something that Ellie found strange at the time since the social circle of both was similar, simply put, and judging by how well she had known you, she knew that you were an orphan of parents and probably of a family as well. For all these reasons Ellie was surprised to see you talking so animatedly with those strangers.

As she got closer, something inside her told her that they were in danger and that they should get away from there and them now.

"Hey (Y/N), 'til I find you, Joel just called me and said not to be late, as we're on patrol today and making dinner." In a subtle and casual manner, she puts her arm around your arm in an attempt to get you to walk.

"What? Again? But we had to cook at this weekend… That old grumpy bastard".

"Yeah well, you know how old man is… we'd better hurry up." As Ellie said this, she could see the way that old couple was staring at you. It was a bit awkward and uncomfortable.

"'Kay…" You turned to your "new friends." "It was nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Weinsptein… I hope you manage to find your puppy…"

Before you could even take the first step, suddenly your hand was grabbed by The Husband, stopping you abruptly. "Don't you girls like us to take you home?

"Oh really? that would be fantastic…" Before you could even respond Ellie interrupted you.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine, besides our father is coming for us…"

Confused by your friend's recent attitude and words, you looked at her with a raised eyebrow, since Joel wasn't the kind of person who usually picked you up or dropped you off at school.

"Actually, I think he just got here… but thanks…" Without looking back, Ellie pulled you towards her, causing the old man's grip on your hands to loosen.

Even though you were far away from that couple and probably halfway back home, Ellie never let go of your hand, it was not a grip like the previous one that the man had given you, this was a soft, delicate touch, one that gave you a sense of confidence and security.

"So… How was your first day? Joel asked.

Again, Joel was not the kind of person who used to take too much interest in the lives of others, but as time went by his heart softened and opened up to the two of you.

"Oh it was definitely a day we won't forget" you replied with a smile as you took a bite of your food.

"And that? That bad was it?" Now it was Tess who was interested in the course of the conversation and your day.

"Not at all…or well, not as such since we're almost adopted."

"What." A dismayed Joel and Tees asked in unison, to which Ellie immediately corrected you.

"Actually we're almost kidnapped."

"Oh, okay…and how about the homew…? Wait, how?" For the second time in record time, Joel and Tess's reaction was once again simultaneous, the only difference being that Tess was half a mouthful of meat.

Spanish version available

[bonefall]

Just curious, but why did you decide to change Onestar pardoning the Dark Forest trainees to punishing them? Was it just to service A Vision Of Shadow's conflict, or were there other factors involved?

It frustrates me that in canon, there's no lasting repercussions for what happened in Po3 and OotS, almost as if the series just wanted to wash its hands of it.

Breezepelt is established to be an upcoming problem, and that goes away. All of the leaders shrug and move on. Bramblestar and Squirrelflight are happily together with bio babies after he treated her like garbage for 6.5 books.

We only really got any conclusions to these problems in SEs, where they feel rushed exactly because they were capping them in hindsight.

So you could say this change is "to serve the conflict of AVoS" but that wording feels dismissive to me. I feel like I'm fixing a problem. Arcs SHOULD feed into each other, no? Isn't the strength of WC the way that we get to follow the cats through the generations? See current events become history, and watch how small things cascade into big things?

And Onestar...

We're trying to set up that Onestar is becoming a harder and harsher person as he's consumed by the pressure of leadership, and his trauma from his near-murder in the WindClan Civil War. We are about to watch him become a MAJOR antagonist of AVoS, slamming an embargo down on ShadowClan until they deal with The Kin.

So how does letting *another* set of attempted traitors get off scot free really serve that? It doesn't make sense to me in-canon either. He refused to punish Breezepelt's mother when she was part of a violent insurrection and look at how THAT turned out!!

I think the end of OotS is the perfect time for him to go scorched earth, and show that he's beginning to consider leniency as a weakness. He also punishes Crowfeather earlier at the end of Po3 when Hollyleaf reveals the secret, in response to BB!Crowfeather being more loud and dramatic than his canon counterpart, cold and detatched.

Canon Crowfeather: "Everyone is stupid except me. I can't stand all of this. I deserve more respect even though I refuse to give it to anyone else."

BB!Crowfeather: "MY HEART SMOULDERS LIKE A PEAT FIRE, FOR YOU! LEAFPOOL, I'VE BEEN AS HOLLOW AS A DALE SINCE YOU LEFT ME" (nightcloud is literally right there. Leafpool is trying really hard to calm him down because he's making a scene and she really doesn't want MORE attention drawn to the romantic fling she had years ago and massively regrets)

But anyway, that's off on a tangent lmao. Bottom line is; it is to serve AVoS, but that's my goal with BB. To strengthen the narrative.

[hell-drabbles]

can u expand on companions relationship with the healer devils? would they be friends with any other devil?

There's not much I know about the other healer devils, since I don't think we've met them in the main story, but here is my vague thoughts that are pretty much subject to change.

I uh, I do go on a tangent. There be a loooot of words. If anyone has little headcanons about the healer devils and the companion interacting, by all means, tell me. I love hearing it.

So, the companion, stiff and semi-reckless as they are, they pretty much have those older sibling vibes going on. Can and will get fiercely protective of the people they care about, as I've written before with their weird, weeeeird relationship with Ra-on. That being said, I would imagine that the healer devils have a certain set of priorities that would keep them from distracted by their own desires, or at least have them restrict themselves in such a way that they don't act first on what they want but what others need. By this point in time, I would imagine that the Companion is ready for every type of demon weirdness, so they were ready for something that will grate on their nerves.

Yes yes, they're real weird, as is every other devil in Hell, but these healer devils don't treat the Companion like an after-thought just because Ra-on is there. I would imagine that the Companion had a minor injury on them because of Ra-on obliviousness, and the healers immediately focused on their injury and passed by Ra-on to heal them, or at least make sure it isn't worse. Don't know which healer it'll be, but it'll be someone.

I'm pretty sure that the devils under Lucifer initially were infatuated by Ra-on, but they don't really let this infatuation get in the way of their purpose in life. Ra-on doesn't get special treatment if they're not heavily injured. I would imagine this infatuation would be quick to fade though, because their priorities allow them to see Ra-on from a distance in a way that every other devil doesn't. They're able to see the bigger picture in that way, and they end up seeing the patterns. The subtle ways Ra-on subconsciously manipulates people to grab more attention. And the jealousy. Oh the jealousy. They see that too.

So, in a weird way, they're kind of glad that Lucifer doesn't react all that well to Ra-on, so their distance to him can be excused as just them following the will of their king. And this awareness of Ra-on is something that they can talk about with the Companion. Mind you, they don't rant and trash-talk Ra-on, they talk about him to the Companion from a place of concern, which is something the Companion deeply appreciates.

Out of all the devils, I would imagine the healers are most aware that Ra-on and the Companion have a home in the human world. As such, they're not going to force them to stay here.

But yeah, sorry about that Ra-on tangent, but it is important to the Companion that the healers have a distance but don't put on rose-tinted glasses around him. That they keep to their boundaries and Ra-on's. Because man, the other devils just keep wearing him down under the excuse that "it's what you truly want, right? I can feel it," further feeding into his learned helplessness.

Anyways, Gamigin is that certain kind of optimistic air-headed-ness about him that makes the Companion ruffle his hair. Never change, you funky little dragon. Can and will give him head noogies if he's being a cheeky thing, all the while smiling. At first, was certainly off-put by just how loud his is, but eventually they come to understand his loudness comes from the sheer amount of love and hope he has for the people around him. He's loud because his emotions are just that strong and it becomes endearing to the Companion. Will only tell him to pipe down if they're suffering from a headache or migraine.

Gamigin, in turn, I feel would be the kind of just, always want to be touching the Companion? Not in a sexual way, but in that cat/dog kind of way? You get what I mean? Pet behavior. He has pet behavior written all over him. Wants to be pressing shoulders, or brushing past them when he can, like tapping on their back or shoulder to get their attention, or even just calling their name just because he likes it.

Though, the first time Gamigin tried to lick up the Companion's tears(probably of pain, they're not much of a crier and if they do cry, they tend to hide away), they kicked him instinctively, because they do not like anyone or anything suddenly approaching their face. They've been in a number of fights here and back in the human world, so they're kinda primed to protect their face first, ask questions later.

"Are you 75% bladder?" Was pretty much the first they said to Jjok, because I'm very sure they scared him because Jjok said something that offended them that caused him to pee. And afterwards, once the annoyance dies down, it becomes a "Alright, let's get you to bed, little old man," just to annoy him. And even grabs him by the scruff like a cat when he's being extra cranky. But that's about the extent of how they annoy him. The Companion is pretty well aware of how the stress basically permanently cut down his stamina, so they don't really think he's an old man. Jjok is pretty well tuned to the Companion's crankiness, especially when the bad mood stems from just being mentally and physically exhausted. So, he'll usually attempt to try and open an opportunity for the Companion to just relax somewhere, even if all the attention ends up scaring the piss out of him.

Now, Lucifer, well, you already seen the way they interact with one another. It's the equivalent of watching two cats from different colonies relax in the same spot until they just, become friends. They're both enjoy peace and quiet, and if they want to be truly alone just for a bit, all they have to do is ask and they'll both respect the other. Of course, considering how Lucifer was when he first treated Ra-on, the very obvious distaste upon the first meeting put a real sour taste in the Companion's mouth. But, given Lucifer's attempts to get to know Ra-on better so as to get rid of this bias, the Companion was willing to let it slide with a sigh. If he's dealing with it, then the Companion won't rip him a new one verbally. At least he's trying, unlike the other devils who are more than willing to give Ra-on their affection based on that connection to Solomon, all the while claiming they're just seeing Ra-on for who he truly is.

Certainly, it's a different kind of bias, but still, it's a bias and it's annoying to the Companion all the same. Judging Ra-on because of his connection to Solomon and not because of his own person, that gets to the Companion.

And Lucifer being Lucifer, finds it endearing, watching a friend defend another friend he doesn't particularly like. So, because of the way the Companion acts around Ra-on, Lucifer would start inviting the both of them together, if only so they're both comfortable when in his presence. And it was a good thing too that he did that, because then he could compare Ra-on with the Companion vs Ra-on without. Without the Companion around, Ra-on becomes a little more reckless, and so things just, slip. He's a little more clumsy, a little more easily hurt and more easily brought to tears.

The Companion isn't an awkward person to talk to and isn't the type to fill the silence up with words just to distract themselves. In fact, they're not a nervous individual at all, and their self-confidence is certainly a thing to be admired. Makes them feel not at all fragile, and that makes Lucifer inclined to be around them more. Sure, sure, he likes the general noise his people in Paradise Lost make, but even he gets tired of it, especially when they're clamoring for praise from him.

Once the Companion's initially distaste goes away and they get a general grasp on how Lucifer is as a person, it becomes easy for the both of them to just enjoy the little things while being in the same place. Out of all the devils, Lucifer would probably be the one to understand that most of their anger and frustration comes out of a place of love and not loathing. Will not treat them like a child that's interesting to watch.

I know that Ra-on will eventually do something that'll temporarily drive the Companion away for a bit so they don't break his nose. Perhaps brought up an old argument, imply that the Companion has always looked down on him, or just berate himself during an argument because it's better to make yourself small and harmless. Either way, Paradise Lost is a land that Ra-on feels like doesn't welcome him, and yet the Companion doesn't look out of place at all in here. It's going to get to him and it's real fun to think about.

I don't know much about the other healers honestly. Companion is likely very grateful for the rules and head-up coming from Marbas about what sorts of things they can and can't do. Sure, they raise an eyebrow at how easily horny he gets, but at least he's not outright jacking it in front of them, so he can be as horny as he wants. Morax, the Companion gets real concerned for sometimes, but eventually comes to accept that this is just his regular state of being, as unhealthy as it was. They get a sense of "regular injured" Morax and "overdoing it injured" Morax. That's not normal, what happened? Type of thing. And Buer... I think it's a rather professional type of relationship, where when chaos happens, you can see Buer and the Companion just, sitting it out, eating their snacks and perhaps playing a board game when it looks like the chaos will be lasting longer than usual.

[fryuteih]

I'm Into Older Guys!

Na Kamden x Reader

High School AU where reader is into older guys to the dismay of Kamden, who's in the same grade.

Note: The writing in this post probably sucks so read at your own discretion if you hate bad writing ✍️. (First work too & it's too many words long)

----

It was a well-known fact to those who spent time with you, that you took an interest to older males. Your friends, most especially, knew this.

Said friends would often find themselves stuck, listening to your banters about how this celebrity in his late 30's had the "most beautiful" jawline, how this senior from photography club was so "passionate" about his craft, how this upperclassmen looked at you with the "dreamiest" eyes a bit too long in the school cafeteria, and so on. Your banters were, to put it, "over excessive and delusional" in the words of your best friend named "Keita".

"Can you shut your delulu-ness for 1 second?" Keita exasperatingly whisper-screams infront of you.

Currently, Keita, Kamden, Jay and you were seated at the school cafeteria. The four of you often spent breaks together and had frequent hangouts or study sessions after school. So, it was no suprise that the lot of you were currently seated together during lunch.

"No! Look behind you! He literally is shooting me love-eyes!" You whisper-scream back, trying to make a point.

"I think he's shooting love-eyes at Karina" Jay pipes up from beside you, gesturing behind him with his eyes.

"Exactly! You're just a delusional idiot" Keita happily claps and gives Jay an affirming shoulder pat.

"Hey, I'm not taking sides, ok? I'm just saying what I think is happening."

"You guys are just haters, for real. Kamden, tell them he's shooting love-eyes at me!" You expectantly waited for Kamden who was beside Keita, to prove them wrong.

In response, Kamden sighs tiredly and rubs his forehead with his unoccupied hand. The boy was quiet up until this point as he was trying to eat in peace, and so, was tuning out to your group's banter. He was especially skilled in zoning out, but somehow, he couldn't whenever you were talking. You were assertive and loud when you wanted to and it was difficult to ignore, right now was a prime example.

"Well..?"

"Leave me out of this" He whispers solemnly

"Look you made him sad!" Keita points at Kamden with a mouth full of food

"One: Gross, Two: I didn't mean to!"

"Awwww, Kamden are you sad? C'mere" Jay tries to comfort his friend by attempting to hug him, arms outstretched towards the boy infront of him and upper body leaning forward. Leading your hand to forcefully stop him by the stomach in an attempt to avoid the tray of food infront of him splattering on his shirt. Kamden instinctively rejects Jay's efforts with his body and seemingly had lost his appetite, dropping his utensils down.

"Jay can you stop? You're making a scene." You try to mediate the situation as people started side-eyeing at Jay and his antics.

"This wouldn't have happened.." Keita takes a big bite of food "..if you weren't delusional over older guys way out of your league." He finishes with a mouth full of food

You grimace at the boy infront of you "One: You're actually disgusting, you need to stop that. Two: Are you trying to make a point?"

"Yeah, stop making everyone uncomfortable over your addiction on ancient men and start going for guys age-appropriate."

"Please, a mere one to three, sometimes even five year age-gap isn't that bad." You were going to continue your tangent, already opening your mouth to say the next words, but was soon interrupted.

"You should start eating, lunch is going to end soon and you've barely touched your food." Kamden says before you could continue talking

"I didn't know their salad was going to be this bland." You defend, still restraining Jay "Anyway, back to what I was"

"Here, you like potatoes right?" Kamden nudges his tray of food containing an already one-fourth eaten dish with some potatoes on it towards you "Next time, think about what you're going to eat thoughtfully."

"I-" You were going to reject the offer, guilty that the boy was giving you his food out of pity, but was once again interrupted

"I lost my appetite anyways, it's better to not waste it." Kamden shuts you down

You accept the offer, taking Kamden's tray of food with your hand that wasn't restraining the persistent Jay, "If you change your mind and still want to eat, I can buy you food later after class."

"Whatever, eat already." Kamden says while Keita shoots him a look, raising one eyebrow

You sweetly smile at the boy that offered you food and start eating, then you refocus your attention to Keita, "Anyway, age doesn't define whether or not their out of my league."

"Nahhh, anyone older than you is too mature for your kid attitude." Keita argues, yet again with a mouth full of food "If you don't want to be a kid, maybe stop your obsession over older guys for a bit, yeah?"

"I'm not gonna change my standards just because you're a hater, besides, why should the world care when I'm not hurting anyone."

Kamden scoffs, seemingly at your statement which makes Keita howl in laughter causing him to choke on his food. You laugh, trying to muffle your laughter with your hand as Kamden stares at you, head resting on his right hand. On the other hand, this makes Jay stop his incessant attempts to hug Kamden and transfer his attention to patting Keita's back profusely.

You were about to go off at Keita about how karma had bit him, patting his back lightly as you were shaking from laughing too hard, but his continuous choking was starting to become concerning. Too concerning that people were full-blown staring at your table now. Too much concerning that the Kamden who usually ignored your group's antics had started hoisting Keita up to get him to the clinic, putting one of the boy's arms around his shoulders. Most concerning when Keita had started spitting out his food. You started to wrap Keita's other arm around your shoulders and helped Kamden lead Keita to the clinic. Jay trailed behind the three of you, telling reassuring statements to Keita while the on-goers you lot passed by stared at the predicament and Keita, well, continued letting out the most gruesome choking sounds.

Once the group reached the clinic, the nurse quickly ushered Keita to sit on a bed. The nurse then made Keita lean forward and gave him the loudest back blows you've ever heard. The boy almost had his eyes gauging out but it wasn't for naught as the food he was choking on, went out from his esophagus.

"Rest here for a while boy." Keita was one step ahead of the nurse, moving his body to lay sideways on the bed. The nurse then looked at Kamden, Jay and you, "The bell rung a few minutes ago, all of you go now, I'll give you an excuse slip for being late to class. The youth should really learn first-aid" The nurse whispers the last part

You all comply with the nurse, taking your slips and bidding farewell to the silent Keita. Walking down the hall together, you finally reach the intersection where you would part ways with Kamden and Jay who had class in the other hallway.

"Jay go ahead without me, I need to buy water" Kamden says pointing to the hallway you were going

"Isn't there a vending machine with water there? Why waste the time, you might get in trouble for being too late" You question pointing to the hallway where Jay and Kamden's class was.

"I don't like the water there, it tastes fishy." Kamden scrunched his face while waving at Jay to go.

"Alright, you're dead meat to Ms. Lee tho. Enjoy walking together while I walk in loneliness" Jay bids farewell, shooting Kamden a look, eyes squinting.

"You should bring your tumbler next time to save on money." You direct to Kamden as the two of you walked down the hallway.

"Hey [name]"

"Hi Kamden"

"Don't feel guilty about what happened, Keita was bound to choke on his food these days"

You chuckle, "Yeah, I can't help it tho. He did keep talking because I kept talking to him."

He chuckles back, "That's how you always are, huh?.. Besides, this'll probably stop him from talking with his mouth full."

The both of you stop at the vending machine. Kamden raises his eyebrow at you.

"It wont hurt waiting for you a while, yeah?" You say

Kamden smiles, buying two bottles of water. He offers you the other one, "Here you didn't drink water after eating, right?"

"Oh right, how much is a bottle of water again?"

"No need to pay me, it's a hassle if you give me money now."

"You already gave me your lunch, I don't want to use you that much." You say guiltily

"Come on, we're going to be even later now. Just take it, you said that you would treat me after school, yeah?"

You reluctantly take the bottle of water from Kamden, "I'll remind you everyday from now on to bring your water bottle"

Kamden silently nods and waves goodbye at you, walking fastly to his class. You don't think much of what he did and paced to your classroom, thinking heavily on what Keita had said to you.

-------

Once classes were dismissed for the day, you rushed to the clinic, thinking that Keita would still be there. Just like what you had thought, he was there, sleeping soundly.

You sat down on the chair beside the bed where Keita laid. A few seconds passed and you watched as Keita's breathing pattern started to slow down. You panic and guiltily reminisce about what Keita had said to you earlier at lunch that had led to him choking. Was it really that bad that you liked older guys? Keita did just want what was best for you, because who would he pester if you weren't fine? Jay would only get too apologetic whenever someone was bothering him for whatever reason and Kamden would only avoid someone annoying him. You felt the same way about Keita, he was your good friend that you could always rely on to not hold grudges for something idiotic. Keita wouldn't necessarily forgive but he would get back at you, it was a mutual friendship.

Your thoughts then wandered to times you and Keita spent together.

------

"Keita! Look, look!!" You excitedly brought your phone up to your best friend's face

"Okay, okay! Be glad you're my only friend right now" Keita mumbles "What? A 50-year old man's profiting off a concert?"

"One: He's 37 years old. Two: let's go together! He's going here."

Keita thinks for a second, "Admit it, dogs are better"

"Cats are superior"

Keita sighs at your stuborness and then thinks for another second, "You're lucky I like his music, otherwise I wouldn't agree."

"So you're going?" You excitedly ask

"Yeah, it'd be cool to actually see an artist in action. Besides, I want to see how he's attracting so many people."

"One: Omg omg you're actually agreeing. Two: He has a jawline that can slice a person in two."

"That's weird"

You decide not to argue with Keita as he had already agreed to go with you and might take his word on it back if you provoked him. You were going to show Keita in real-life anyways how handsome this male artist was and how influential his career must be with all the fans at the concert as evidence. An experienced artist like him knew the ways of life and used that to uplift his career, it was admirable to you and so was his jawline.

When the concert was finished, to put it, Keita officially was a fan with you as the both of you blasted his music on the way home.

---------

You stood at the front door of your best friend's house. After pestering Keita to let you visit, he finally let down. Was there an ulterior motive for wanting to visit? Yes. What was it? Well, you rung the doorbell to Keita's residence and only a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal Matthew who was smiling so very brightly. Matthew was Keita's older brother by 3 years and that meant 3 years older than you.

"Oh hey [name]! So nice to meet you, Keita said that you were coming!"

"O-oh yeah, nice to meet you too" You bowed at him, hiding the crimson rising to your face

"Yahhh, no need for formalities around me! It makes me feel old." Matthew ruffles your hair "Come in, come in!"

Matthew leads you to their living room where Keita was residing. Keita looks at you with an unpleasant look and pats the space beside him on the couch repeatedly and loudly.

"Be nicer to your friend, Keita!" Matthew playfully berates "Their a guest!"

"Yeah, yeah, stop shouting. You'll make my ears bleed."

"Be nicer to your older brother" You pipe in

"Don't tell me what to do, guest!"

Matthew laughs at the two of you, "I'll prepare drinks for the both of you! You like iced tea, [name]?" He looks at you

"Ofcourse! Anything will do haha" You smile

"Great! I'll get that prepared!" Matthew pats your back lightly and sets off to the kitchen

You sit down next to Keita as he stares at you in disgust, "Try not to drool over my brother challenge" He whispers

"Your brother is so cool, I can't believe you two are related." You whisper back

"I'm actually going to curse you out, be happy I even let you in here."

"Gosh, your brother is handsome and well-kept." You continue whispering as Keita deepens his disgusted stare, "So well-mannered and kind, he even asked if I liked Iced tea."

"Iced tea is all we have, idiot."

You shoot him a look, "Try being like your brother and maybe you'll get someone to look at you."

"DANG OKAY"

"Hope you guys are having fun!" Matthew comes in with two iced teas. It couldn't be helped but to notice his smile. His smile that showed so much of his pearly whites, it felt illegal to see premium content for free. The way that he sets two coasters for the iced teas so that the table wouldn't get wet was so endearing, his mother must have thought him well. The way that he told you and Keita to enjoy your time at their home made you think of how he must be such a caring brother and person overall. After finishing drinking your refreshments, he refused your help to clean up, one could only imagine how he must be a person of service.

Let's just say that Keita was even more reluctant to invite you over again.

-----

It was a Friday and classes were dismissed, but unfortunately, club time was scheduled so students couldn't go home yet. Well, it was unfortunate for most but not for you. Why? Club time was a time to see the person you joined the club for.

"Hurry up Keita!!"

"Damn be patient for one second, he probably isn't there yet!"

"Well I can't risk wasting a second to see him"

"Ok dang!" Keita huffs as he quickly shoves his things into his bag.

The two of you set off to your club room as you shared the same club, photography club, to be exact. As you reached the club room, a second-year classroom, it was already set in groups meaning that every four desks were put together to face one another. You hurried to sit at the group table upfront while Keita followed you. Both of you sat, facing one another.

"Remind me why I even joined."

"Because the club president is always open to share his limitless expertise on photography." You matter-a-factly say

"Well, well, well, don't we have two early-birds here."

You turned around towards the entrance door to see Park Hanbin, a senior and the club president, in all of his glory. He struts towards the front of the classroom and sits on the teacher's desk, "Don't mind me here, let's wait for the others to come. Go do whatever you kids do these days."

You try to subtlety stare at the blue-haired man who was looking at his camera's gallery, he was chic and never afraid to make a statement hence the blue hair. A confident man was so appealing as they would hold themselves in a manner that is sharp and takes your attention in a fraction of a second.

Keita couldn't help but roll his eyes at you and the situation he was in. It seemed as if his eyes would roll out of his eyes until two people approached your table.

"Uhm hey are these seats available or are you guys saving it for other people?" A boy with brown hair questions the two of you, behind him was another boy with black hair seemingly trying not to look at the both of you.

"Those seats are free, you can sit with us if that's what you intend." Keita answers for the both of you as you were to occupied admiring the club president still on his camera.

"Awesome! Thanks!" The brunette ushers the other boy to sit beside you and then sits beside Keita, "Oh, my name's Jay by the way and my friend over here is Kamden!"

"Eyy, I'm Keita and that over there is [name]. I wouldnt blame you if you forget their name, their pretty irrelevant." Keita smiles warmly at Jay and Kamden

"I think they're pretty cool.." Kamden murmurs side-eyeing you

"Really?" Keita looked like the whole world was upside down

"Ohh yeah! I think [name] is pretty cool too! Me and Kamden think everyone's cool!" Jay tries to laugh it off

"You guys sure are enthusiastic.. I like that!" Keita says enthusiastically to which Jay smiles widely to

More people started pouring in and soon Park Hanbin started to lecture the people in the classroom about types of photography. He shows his own examples of the type of photography he was explaining, be it shadows, clouds, and the lot.

A person listening to him could see how passionate he was about photography and what he was doing. The way he led the class on photography was exemplary and showed off the authority he had in the matter which was so very intriguing to you.

While you stared at Hanbin, Kamden stared at your focused state. Your eyes didn't waver from Hanbin at all and your hand jot down notes so quickly about what the club president was lecturing. Your dedication was entertaining compared to the long and never-ending talks of Hanbin.

Soon, another bell rung, signaling that club time was over but Park Hanbin didn't let anyone go yet. He had already locked the exit door prior and was guarding the entrance door. He had the key to exit door and was tauntingly showcasing it on the palm of his hand. His wit was applaudable to you and you didn't mind doing overtime unlike the others who were waiting to go home.

Once Hanbin had actually finished his lecture and dismissed the class, he didn't forget to tell everyone that he was free for any questions anytime. You couldn't help but sigh, you were enthralled at how the boy was willing to sacrifice so much time on photography.

"We should definitely hang out together sometime!" Keita finger-guns Jay and Kamden

"Yo, that'd be awesome! You love that idea dont you, Kamden?" Jay wiggles his eyebrows

"If it's alright with [name]"

"Eh, don't worry about them. Hey, [name]!" Keita calls for your attention

"Y-yeah?" You say caught off-guard by your day-dreaming

"Y-y-y-yeah" Keita mocks you

"Not cool" Kamden says while Jay laughs and pats Kamden on the back, seemingly trying to play what Kamden said as a joke.

"Because I'm a nice person who's considerate of others' feelings, I would like to ask you if it'd be alright to hang out with these fine gentlemen." Keita shows off Jay and Kamden

You roll your eyes and finally get a good look at the two boys whom you didn't pay much attention to earlier. You pointed at Kamden, shaking your index finger. He was familiar and you were trying to remember where you knew him from. Kamden starts to fidget with his hands under the weight of your stare.

"Leave the poor man alone, [name]. I'm your only friend, don't scare off potential other friends."

"N-no, it's alright." Kamden's face starts to turn slightly red and the pace of his fidgeting hands quicken.

You suddenly snap your fingers, "You were my classmate once, yeah?" You excitedly ask after remembering

"Oh, yeah" Kamden cooly says, stopping his hands from fidgeting.

"Great! You know each other, let's hang out!" Jay excitedly claps, jumping up and down.

"Yeah, you guys totally made that boring lecture fun." Keita smiles

"You wouldn't be saying that if you listened." You defend your club president.

"I did try to, but I couldn't because it was boring." Keita shows you a thumbs-down.

"I thought it was fun" Kamden says monotonously

"Ofcourse you found it fun" Jay wiggles his eyebrows

------

"[name]" A gruff voice calls out to you

You look over to Keita and see him awake

"Whew, you're alive" You jokingly whisper, though a part of you wasn't really joking.

"I've been awake for a while now" Keita admits to you

"Oh"

"And I've been thinking that I should just let you be on your love for older guys."

"Yah, let's not talk about that for now." You say not wanting to feel even more guilty.

"I can actually hook you up with an older guy, you know?"

"What? I said let's not talk about that right now."

"You were born on 2001, right"

"Same year as you" You say, giving up and soaking in your guilt.

"You know Kamden was born in the year 2000."

"He's in the year level as us though? Our year is only filled with people born in 2001 to 2002, as far as I know."

"Yeah he and his twin were placed in our grade level during first grade, for some reason, probably enrolled late."

"Oh"

"He always acted older than us, no?"

"Oh"

"I could help you guys get together"

"Oh"

"Did I mention that he was the older twin?"

"Oh"

You sat in silence as Keita kept talking. You didn't know that Kamden was older than you, you always assumed you were the same age.

"Keita, you're awake! You wouldn't believe how mad Ms. Lee was at Kamden!" Jay threw himself at Keita

"Hey" You jumped slightly on your seat as Kamden placed his hand on your shoulder, "I just said hey, no need to be scared." Keita chuckles lowly at you, his Adam's apple moving ever so slightly.

Was Kamden's voice this deep? Did Kamden have eudermic hands all this time? Why is Kamden looking at you so intensely?

"Did you drink the water I gave you?"

You could only nod. This make Kamden tilt his head at you and scrunch his eyebrows together. He looked like a lost cat, you thought. His eyes were sparkling like a cat's. His hair was fluffy like cat's fur. His pink pout resembled a cat's smile when its purs.

"Yo Kamden, what's your type?" Keita loudly asks for the boy's attention, holding Jay in his arms

"Hey, hey?" Jay questions, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows like he always does

"Why?" Kamden plainly asks

"Oh you know.." Keita ponders for a short while, "Someone might be interested in you and I happen to be their helper."

"Well, they shouldn't really change themselves for me if that's the case."

Was Kamden always thoughtful? You asked yourself, and then your thoughts started to spiral. Did Kamden ever care for other people? Was Kamden always this considerate of others? Now that you thought about it, Kamden always acted more mature than the average person your age.

"It's club time right?" Keita asks and everyone turned to look at you expectantly. That included Kamden, who was now looking back at you.

Unknowingly you had been staring at Kamden but you didn't break your gaze as he reciprocated your stare. His eyes were intriguing, a really dark brown that was almost black. It was under small lids and small eyelashes and over slightly dark eyebags. Kamden always took his studies seriously, it wasn't a secret to you that he didn't want to be overtaken by his twin brother, hence, why he worked hard. Kamden always worked hard, you remembered how he would always be awake at late hours of the night. Citing the times you would message him during those late hours and he would always respond, under the reason that he was awake because of an assignement or studying. Now that you thought about it, Kamden was always available for you, when either Jay was asleep or Keita was ignoring you, Kamden always answered whatever idiocracy or academic question you had. His attentiveness towards you had made you more motivated as his his constant help made an assignment easier, a sad moment less sad, and a day happier. You could always rely on Kamden to be there for you, always.

"Earth to [name]" Keita mimics an echo, repeating your name repeatedly and each time in a softer volume all the while smirking

"Oh yeah what is it?" You snap out of your trance and look over to Keita

"I said, isn't it club right now?"

"Ohh yeahh" You suddenly remembered

"So, I can't go and I need someone to bring me home because my mom can't pick me up" Keita smugly says

"Maybe [name] can bring you home." Jay suggests as he quickly brings his index finger to Keita's mouth to sush him and quickly retracts it, seemingly trying to stop Keita from refusing his suggestion.

"No, club is important to [name]. I can bring you home." Kamden refutes Jay's suggestion

Kamden really is thoughtful, you thought.

Kamden's statement seemingly makes Jay and Keita smile knowingly at each other, "You know what? I remembered that I left my house key in Jay's locker. Jay should bring me home."

"Oh yeah, right, totally. Kamden and [name], you guys go to club without us, I'll bring Keita home." Jay says gesturing the both of his hands for the both of you to go.

"Alright" Kamden looks suspiciously at the pair and gently pulls on your forearm, signaling for the both of you to go, "You don't want to be anymore late, yeah?"

Kamden really was well-mannered, you remembered how he would always touch you gently whenever needed. You also remembered how he would always remind you of things whether it'd be to take care of yourself or of other things, Kamden was always so put-together, "Yeah".

--------

"Well, well, well, I'd never thought the two of you would be late." Park Hanbin's voice booms in the middle of his lecture as he sees Kamden and [name] entering from the front door, "Especially this late"

"Apologies, our friend wanted to see us at the clinic before going home. Keita and Jay won't be present." Kamden says quickly to Hanbin

"Ahh, yes, yes, I guess one of you youngsters was the one who choked earlier lunch." Hanbin clasps his hands together, "Well, hurry up and get seated, I'll excuse your tardiness today. Try not to get in any more trouble, kay? [name], right?"

Kamden nods for you as you seemed to be pre-occupied being in a daze and softly grabs your wrist to lead you to the unoccupied seats at the back.

Once the two of you were seated, Kamden found difficulty in letting you wrist go. Sure, the two of you had frequent physical contact but it led for the boy to yearn for more. You were warm on days that he wanted warmth and you were cold on days that he wanted to cool down. Simply holding you for a few seconds wasn't enough.

But Kamden had to have boundaries, he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, that was what he didn't want to do the most. So, he lets go of you. He stares at you longingly, you were looking down at your desk, so he couldn't necessarilly see your face well. It didn't matter though as he remembers your face well, already having memorized you from his moments with you, moments where you were afar, and moments in his imagination.

Whether you were frowning, smiling or resting, Kamden found his eyes at ease in making you the default to look at. When your face rests, Kamden rests, making looking at you an easy job that paid in time seeing you, a better pay was almost non-existent. When your face frowns, Kamden worries. He doesn't frown incase it would lower your spirits down, rather, he tries to cheer you up indirectly, whether it'd be buying you drinks or taking care of measly tasks for you. When he knows what's making you frown or when you tell him yourself, he's more than motivated to give you small words of encouragement. When your face smiles, Kamden tries not to smile. It's almost impossible but he manages everytime to hold his smile in. He's the happiest when you smile genuinely because it's what makes you happy.

Kamden wants to be happy. That's what a normal person wants.

So, he started talking with Park Hanbin a while ago. He asked for an opportunity to see the upperclassmen in the guise that he wanted extra photography lessons. The ulterior motive was to get the older boy to take an interest in you. In the so called "extra photography lessons", he would slip in a good word or two about you. After the lesson, he would ask for another one, continuing his act of making you look good infront of Hanbin. It wasn't hard as he would just list down the things he liked about you. When he would take pictures of clouds, he would tell Hanbin how you were imaginative and creative, how you frequently said how a cloud resembled a persian cat you once owned named "Grill", no matter how far from the truth the cloud was. When Hanbin would tell him to change his shutter speed, Kamden would relay how you would always explain the different shutter speeds to him for different outputs, saying how diligent of a club member of the photography club you were and how you would always listen to Hanbin's lectures.

Soon enough, he didn't have to try and involve you in the lessons as Hanbin would now be the one to frequently ask questions about you. Hanbin was well-mannered, passionate and most importantly, older than you.

That's what you had always wanted in a partner, the two of you would be a good match, you would be happy. Kamden would always think about you being happy. That would make him happy.

Kamden reminisces the older times

-----------

It was a sunny day, much to everyone's luck from a certain class in 4th grade. It was this class' class field trip day to an aquarium. Kamden wouldn't lie, he was happy to spend time with his friends socializing for once. So, he looked forward for the field trip.

On the bus ride to the aquarium, obnoxious noise resounded from the back. Kamden looks back and sees the infamous group of boys from his class who were known to be free-loaders on group assignments and obnoxious in general.

Unfortunately, Kamden was groupmates for school projects with one of the boys from that group. What was worse was that he was the group leader and had just enough of the free-loading boy. This led to Kamden snitching to his teacher about how the boy had never contributed anything and pleading for fair treatment. Kamden could only surmise that the teacher had a talking-to with the boy as the boy was unusually less-vulgar around him, it made him uneasy. This uneasiness wasn't reduced in any way as he would be almost sure that he'd hear his name every now and then whenever the group of obnoxious boys talked with each other.

Once the bus dropped off the class at the aquarium, the field trip went smoothly. Kamden was having fun with his friends, pointing at sharks and unique sea creatures along the way. That was until a bucket of ice cream was splattered across the hallway they were walking on. The culprit? The group of obnoxious free-loading boys, though some of the boys were missing and that included Kamden's free-loading groupmate.

"Oh no. Hey Kamden fetch us a mop would ya? You're the tallest after all." One of the obnoxious boys smugly asks

"Why should he? You guys made that mess." Kamden turns his head to see that you were the one to defend him.

"Well Mrs. Ban sure would stop this field trip if she found out that we made a mess, that's her nature. Doesn't matter who did it, everyone will face the consequence." One of the obnoxious boys seethed, "Let's not waste time, shall we? The sooner you get this cleaned, the more chance that Mrs. Ban won't find out."

You looked like you were going to say something back but Kamden wanted to get this over with, "Alright, I'll get a mop." Kamden turns to the other direction to set out for the cleaning supplies.

Kamden remembers that an aquarium staff had instructed the class to clean up after any mess they made and mapped out where the cleaning supplies were.

"So you're just going to follow me?" Kamden awkwardly side-eyes you

"I thought that maybe the mop might be too big or heavy for you to carry alone."

"Oh" He dryly says

"Where's Mrs. Ban anyway, isn't she supposed to watch over us?" You try to make conversation

"Yeah.." Kamden really didn't know how to respond to you

The two of you walked in silence, Kamden never really interacted with you in class and never bumped into you in past school years, so, it was akward to talk to you now. Kamden and you further set out to the cleaning supplies and then reached the echinoderms part of the aquarium. The aquarium became quiet. He guessed that no one found echinoderms interesting. Though, that silence was quickly shattered,

"Well if it isn't the snitch, Kamden." His free loading groupmate tauntingly says, "The snitch Kamden, fell right into my trap."

The other missing members of the obnoxious group laugh, revealing themselves.

"And now, he's gonna pay for being a snitch." The obnoxious boys crack their knuckles while Kamden is paralyzed, not knowing what to do. He was outnumbered, but so he thought.

"Did you know that starfishes are part of echinoderms." You say matter-a-factly rather than questioning, "Starfishes unlike their organism name aren't actually fishes, they don't have gills, scales, or fins like a normal fish, and also have no blood."

You continue your banter, not letting anyone interrupt you by raising you tone of voice whenever someone did try. Kamden stares at and listens to you. He never really saw this side of you, you were loud and guarding when needed to, he guessed. The more he listened to you, the more he assumes that you were passionate about certain things, like starfishes, he guessed. Though he was confused at your sudden banter, he couldn't really complain, as it was preventing him from being beaten up. Soon enough, your banters were becoming interesting to him.

"Starfish are actually edible and safe to consume but certain species are poisonous and dangerous, so, be careful on what kind of starfish you eat. That's how my cat died." You suddenly halt your banter.

Kamden snaps out of his trance and looks to where the group of obnoxious boys were. They weren't there anymore.

"Seemed like you scared them off." Kamden tries to awkwardly joke with you, "Oh uh, sorry about your cat."

----------

"Hey Kamden, what club should we join?" Jay excitedly shakes Kamden, "There's so many options"

As Jay jumps up and down, Kamden stares at you and Keita who were conversing, just infront of him and Jay. It was club opening day, wherein multiple booths of each club were placed in the school field, to let students to choose their clubs and for club officers to recruit people into their clubs. Though it was noisy and there were a lot of people passing by, he could still hear your's and Keita's conversation.

"You're joining photography club for a singular guy?" Keita asks in disbelief

"Well, that singular guy is extremely talented."

"Extremely talented at scaring and boreing people away."

"You don't have to join me, I'm not changing my mind." You cross your arms, "Besides, I'm not hurting anyone by my own choice."

Keita groans, "You do know that you're my only friend right now, can you be a little lenient?"

"I'm joining photography club."

Jay seems to catch on to what Kamden was distracted by, "Heyy, you're staring at them again"

"Huh, oh what, no."

"Hmmm sure, what's their name by the way?"

"[name]"

"So you were staring at them! No less eavesdropping!"

Kamden's eyes widen, "Lower your voice, would you?"

"Photography club, huh. I heard the club president is scary but I guess their adamant on joining."

"Their always passionate on what they like."

Jay wiggles his eyebrows at Kamden who has not stopped staring at you, "You know what? I kinda want to join the photography club, Kamden."

---------

"Here" Kamden gives you a drink

"What is this for?"

"Nothing, I just thought to give you some."

"You keep buying me drinks, I'm starting to feel guilty."

"You always feel guilty when you shouldn't. Besides, you buy me food a lot of the time, don't you remember?"

"I guess.."

Kamden sits beside you on the bench. Silence sets in, the both of you don't hang out much alone without Keita and Jay. It just so happened that you and Keita fought, and Jay went off to cool Keita down.

"Do you and Jay fight alot?" You break the silence

"I ignore him alot but Jay isn't the type to argue."

"Do you argue?"

"Not really, arguing is tiring." Kamden pats your back gently, "Though, it's normal to fight. It happens when you care enough for something or someone."

You stay silent, sipping on the drink Kamden gave you.

"Not to say I don't care for Jay." Kamden laughs awkwardly, "It's just that people have different ways of showing how they care for things."

"I get what your saying now, you can stop being uncomfortable. Sorry I involved you guys." You take a sip of your drink, "You know, you sound like a 70-year old guy sometimes."

"So you're into me?" Kamden joke

You laugh and clutch your stomach, not being able to stop laughing. Kamden chuckles, your smile was enticing. It was serene and alleviated the stress he was currently going through. He then realizes that it was always like that, his problems seemed to be solved whenever you were around, even if you just simply smiled. What you did to him was amazing.

"You know, I started liking older guys since I was a kid." You said in between laughs, "There was this teenager who worked at the zoo my family frequented at and he would always entertain the kids. He was handsome, confident but well-mannered, would cheer up any kid crying, and would slip a piece of candy every now and then. He'd tell me facts about wildlife, but he was especially passionate about sea animals, more specifically, starfishes. He said they were the easiest to look after. His words influenced me so much that I would beg my family to buy me a starfish but they found it weird. One day the guy asked me if I wanted to look after something for him. I said yes because I wanted to impress him and so, he gave me a white fluffy cat. My family was mad because they'd thought that I stole an animal from the zoo. So, they took me and the cat back to the zoo, only to find out that the cat wasn't part of the zoo's care and that the guy that gave me the cat quit the day of. My family decided that I should just keep the cat. I don't really remember much of what happened during that time but a thought always stuck to me, I'm going to marry a guy just like him."

Kamden listened to you intensely throughout your talk.

"I'm sorry, I probably bored you to death" you chuckle

"No, no. I like hearing whatever you have to say." It was true, he always did, and he always wants to hear you. He always wants to see you, he always wants to be close to you, but he wasn't your type. So, Kamden tries ever so slightly to not smile at you, afraid that he might want you more. He didn't want to reach a point where he would try to take you, try to ruin your dreams of marrying an older guy.

-------

Kamden stares at you, you were still looking down at your table. He couldn't deny the fact that he didn't want you, he loved you. Wanting you was superficial, he didn't want to claim or force you to be there with him 24/7, he just wanted you happy. He realized that when he started setting you and Hanbin together. If he wanted you, he wouldn't be doing what he did. Who didn't want you to be happy though? Your face was too loveable, your eyes yearned for passion, your lips creased to spread melodies of joy, and you were staring back at him.

Kamden gets caught off guard, how long have you been staring back at him?

"And that's it for today! You're all dismissed, except you, [name], can you stay for a bit?" Park Hanbin disrupts Kamden's thoughts.

This was it. Kamden thought. He gently pats your shoulder and gives you a thumbs up. You look confusedly at him.

"Good luck" Kamden whispers to you, subtly pointing at Hanbin with his thumb.

As he starts to walk towards the door, you stand up to follow him but he stops you at your place, "Don't ruin this for me" he whispers to you and quickly exits the scene.

--------

It was 4 A.M. in the morning, Kamden had trouble sleeping. "How were you doing?" Circled in his mind a lot. He didn't reply to any messages Jay and Keita sent him, asking him how his time with you went. Infact, he had turned his phone off as soon as he reached his bed from school.

"Ding"

A notification went off on his phone. It was you. He only had his notifications on for you. He rushed to open his phone.

"Can you come to that Cafe next to school tomorrow? 12PM? I'm nervous. Bring your tumbler by the way"

Before he rushed to respond to you, he saw a text message from Hanbin that was sent earlier at 6PM.

"Hey, hey, hey, Kamden! tha cafe nxt to the schol tmrrw @12PM!!!"

Hanbin had asked you out on a date. You were probably nervous so he responds to your text message to agree to be the third-wheel.

"Yeah. Goodluck. Dont be nervous, I'll be there :)" Kamden responds only to you. He waits for your reply that doesn't come.

--------

11:00AM, Kamden was one hour early. Due to the lack of sleep, he had forgotten his phone but somehow remembered to bring his water bottle.

11:30AM, You arrive, Kamden doesn't make himself known, to try and not disrupt any momentum on your date with Hanbin.

12:00PM, Hanbin was supposed to arrive by now, maybe he was just a little late. You start texting away on your phone.

12:30PM, Hanbin still hadn't arrived, Kamden started to get angry. He would've texted Hanbin himself asking where was he but he didn't have his phone with him.

1:00PM, It seemed like you were stood up, so you left the cafe.

Kamden couldn't express how angry he was, you? Were stood up? Kamden thought that Hanbin was a man, a man good enough for you. But he assumed wrong. He was angry at himself for assuming so wrong, for letting you get stood up. He follows you out the cafe.

"Hey, [name]! I'm sorry, I didn't know he would be that type of guy." He says catching up to you

"Oh, there you are. Where were you?" You ask seemingly upset at Kamden

"I was in the cafe, I didn't want to interrupt your date with Hanbin but he never showed up." Kamden sighs "I'm so sorry [name]"

"Date? I just texted you to meet me at the Cafe at 12. What do you mean date with Hanbin?" You ask, growing frustrated.

"Oh, you weren't going on a date with Hanbin?" Kamden looks confusedly at you, infamously tilting his head.

"No! I just wanted to talk with you, what made you think that?"

"Oh well you guys talked alone yesterday, so I thought.."

"So you thought what? Look, I just wanted to talk to you. I don't know how you reached to that conclusion." You look away at Kamden, too frustrated.

"I'm sorry it's just that I was trying to make Hanbin like you by telling him nice things about you and that's why I thought he asked you out on a date yesterday." Kamden confesses to you

"What?" You look back at Kamden

Kamden stays silent, accepting his fate that you were going to end your friendship right then and there.

"So, you were just trying to set us together?" You gulp down on your words, "So, you don't like me?"

Kamden's eyes widen, "I like you! No, I love you! Wait, where? I love you a lot. Where did you hear that, love?" Once he ended his sentence, he wanted to end his life. Why would he say it like that?

"So, you like me?" You confusedly ask

"I love you" He couldn't stop his mouth from opening and releasing awkward things out in the wild

"I love you too then."

Kamden doesn't believe your words, "What about Hanbin?"

"Hanbin? He told me that you liked me alot. He said that you wouldn't stop talking about me."

"Oh"

"I love you" You smile awkwardly at Kamden

Kamden puts his hands on either sides of your shoulders, "I was born on June 9, 2001, emphasis on 2001, the same year as you. I'm not any older than you are."

"Oh really?" You weren't surprised anymore that Keita would lie to you, "That doesn't change anything though. I love you." You smile awkwardly yet again at Kamden.

"Why though?" Kamden raises his voice, bringing his hands up to the nape of your neck, "I'm not older than you, like that guy from the zoo."

"You remembered." You say not surprised, "That's why I love you."

Your answer was vague but Kamden understood you, he always did, "You know I'm the younger twin right?" He asks in disbelief, bringing his hands up from your nape to cup your face.

"I love you."

Kamden doesn't say it back but he does bring your faces closer to one another. Close enough that his lips touched yours.

_______

This story has reached to its end. I don't know whether or not Kamden is the younger twin or not, I pulled it out of my ass. A lot of what I wrote was pulled out from my ass. If you saw that Chainsaw Man reference, you didn't. I'm sorry if you read all of that and found it underwhelming or not good in general. I tried my best. I might make a ZB1 x reader fiction story, might. Thank you for spending your time reading.

------

[prongsfish]

sigh

im post blocked

anyway

FISHALICIOUS

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE EVAN ROSIER HEADCANONS

(ive been asking everyone because he's slowly becoming my favourite)

just now realising you asked this nearly a month ago i'm so sorry i don't know why i struggle with answering asks so much!! but anyways evan headcanons i will GLADLY give. my characterisation of him is less concrete than characters like barty or regulus but i think about him loads still i love him...

this is a classic ofc but i will always see him and pandora as twins!! i love siblings in media so much and i think it allows for suuupper interesting dynamics between them, even in canon

in muggle aus my go-to career for him is either a piercer or something in the medical science field. i can just picture him as this mildly off-putting medsci student who goes on to be a forensic pathologist or something, he's really intrigued by the human body and how it functions in various ways. could definitely also go the way of unlicensed surgeon or mad scientist who performs fucked up experiments on people but that sort of thing doesn't quite fit into every fic lmaoo

i've always thought of him as more of a piercings guy than a tattoo guy (which is the opposite to barty). he'd definitely have both but i associate him more with piercings if that makes sense? i imagine he'd have a labret, bridge, stretched lobes (~7/8"), stretched septum (~0g), eyebrows (normal and middle placements), and high nostrils. all symmetrical!! plus probably some other non-facial piercings

he'd love sci-fi, thriller, and horror (especially psychological) films. anything super tense and probably confusing

when he was a child he and pandora would trap and kill insects. they'd spend ages examining little bug bodies and dissecting them with sticks and stuff... as he grew older he became more and more interested in bigger animals. occasionally he would kill animals himself but more often he'd search for those already dead, especially roadkill. once he was finished with any given specimen he'd carefully remove, clean, and reconstruct their skeletons to give to pandora. she didn't like the organs stuff as much as he did but she loved collecting bones and taxidermy insects, in exchange one year for his birthday (10-14th, maybe) she spent ages searching to buy him a surgical set from an antique store

waaay scarier than barty. if you don't know them you might be more initially scared by barty but while barty is loud and crazy and violent and laughs at pain/danger, evan is creepy. he knows way a million and one ways to kill someone without leaving behind any evidence. he knows every single pressure point on the human body. someone mentions a medicine they've taken their whole life for the first time and when someone else asks what it is he can explain in minute detail exactly how it works to the point where not even the person who takes it knew even half of what he says. he's super quiet moving without even meaning to be so he scares the shit out of people all the time. he doesn't blink as often as he should but just often enough that you don't notice until you're paying attention. and this is all revealed gradually, whereas barty's most "scary" traits are purposefully the most surface level things about him

he loooves medical dramas. he's watched tons of them. he HATES the good doctor though, purely on principle because once someone said that must be his favourite because he's autistic. his actual favourite is house

he runs cold and NEVER wears shorts. lots of beanies and jackets

these were so random and i went on a few tangents but oh well i did like five other things between writing these so it's a bit of a mess LMAO

[b-lightwalker]

FNaF Movie Ramble

Long story short, I really like the movie, I really like Mike, Vanessa, and Abby, and I want them to be happy.

There be spoilers beyond this point.

I love the little found family that started forming between Vanessa with Mike and Abby. I know it hasn't gone anywhere yet, but we all know the signs. Please, Mr. Cawthon, let Vanessa take on an older sister/mother figure role like Mike.

I love how Mike has a roundabout way of talking when he's being emotional. He doesn't just say, "I love you," or, "Thank you," to Abby and Vanessa respectively, he rambles and goes on whole tangents about why he feels that way and it works. It works so good. And I am also talking about game Mike.

I love how William was handled. I was surprised he didn't get a lot of screen time, but it works. William is a behind-the-scenes guy. It's not until he comes on stage, front and center, that you realize what he's been doing this whole time. And the scenes he is in, he kinda steals the show. I didn't expect William to have an outburst near the end when the animatronics started turning on him, but of course he would. In his eyes, he made them better than they were ever going to be alive, and not even seconds ago, they considered him a friend. And the sheer confidence of this man to put the Spring Bonnie head back on while actively being spring locked is insane. (Anyone else think William may have forced Vanessa to learn how to treat wounds for whenever he had issues with the spring lock suit?)

William giving a young Vanessa the toys from his victims makes me wonder if game William did the same. Of course, when game William started killing, his kids were long since dead, but still. Imagine, Michael going into his siblings' rooms that aren't touched unless they're being cleaned, and he starts seeing these toys that don't belong to Elizabeth and Evan, but they look like toys they'd like. At first, Michael ignores it, thinking he just didn't notice it at first, even though he knows. He knows everything that's supposed to be in that room and he knows those toys aren't supposed to be there. Eventually, he asks William and he just says he bought them 'cause they reminded him of Ev and Liz. It doesn't 100% work for Mike, but it works enough, so he leaves it alone. After all, people celebrate a passed loved one's birthday, so why wouldn't they get gifts too? Even if they just stay in their old rooms. Then one day, Michael randomly gets a gift from William. I can't think of anything better, so let's just say a cassette tape for his Walkman. It's a tape that Michael would actually listen to, and it's relatively new, so Michael's confused why it's just the tape and no case, but since a gift means a good day, he doesn't question it. At least, not out loud anyway.

I wonder what happened to Aunt Jane. I know she was most likely killed by Golden Freddy, but there's a chance Mike brought her to the hospital and neither him or Abby are visiting 'cause neither of them like her. Imagine your niece and nephew visiting the hospital almost every day, but to see someone who is borderline a stranger to them and not you. I'm absolutely "making" a game counterpart to Aunt Jane, though. She's William's younger sister and she's almost as vile and manipulative. Just not keen on murder. Directly, anyway. Though in the games, she wouldn't have a trigger to want to get rid of someone like she does in the movie, but if she did have one, she'd be willing to kill. Maybe she could talk William into it. She still smells like cigarettes and is the reason the Afton kids hate the smell.

I initially thought Garrett was Abby's imaginary friend, but--save for the fact that it was essentially deconfirmed--it wouldn't make sense for Garrett to haunt his sister and not his brother who he would've known was kind of losing his mind from the trauma of his kidnapping. In any case, I'm currently going with the theory that Garrett is the Puppet and the one behind the "Come find me." message at the end of the credits. We'll see.

Since FNaF 2 is a prequel, I wonder if the FNaF 2 movie will also be a prequel. And if so, will Jeremiah be our protag? I know he was probably just a reference to Jeremy Fitzgerald and nothing more, but if he's not, then game Jeremiah and game Mike are work buddies. And if he is movie Jeremy Fitzgerald, I wonder if he wanted the dream theory book Mike has because he also had weird dreams while working at Freddy's. Maybe. Maybe not.

Tutorial Lady/VHS Lady/Kim and Phone Guy are totally married and their kids are Phone Dude and Tape Girl.

I know Mike being an Afton is basically impossible now, but if another twist is Mike and Vanessa are twins or related in some way, and Mike was given up while Vanessa was kept, I'd be 110% down. Then it'd be found family in the most literal sense. It doesn't 100% work, sure, but it'd be neat. (Imagine recognizing the son you gave up 'cause you recognized his last name 'cause you killed his brother.)

In any case, I really love this movie, and I want Mike, Vanessa, and Abby to be happy. Family dynamic, please, Mr. Cawthon.

[softpine]

do u have a favorite character out of all ur ocs? what abt favorite character based on appearances/looks? i'm just curious ! (my personal favorite character writing-wise is finn, looks wise it's stevie <3, but jada is a close 2nd! she's gorgeous)

omg i feel bad even trying to choose my favorite character, it's like choosing which of my pets is my favorite.. i don't love them more or less, i love them differently 😭 but the character with the story i'm most fond of has to be finn. i've put so much detail into his life, i could tell you exactly what he was doing at 3:03 pm on thursday october 11th 1979 (hiding behind the school with his friend steven, throwing pebbles at people they hate as they walk out the door and trying not to laugh so loud they get caught) and it feels like something that actually happened and i'm just peeking into another universe rather than just making stuff up on the fly. which is funny because there are countless versions of him coexisting in my mind and yet he feels like the character i have the most solid understanding of. but i wouldn't say FAVORITE because every character makes me feel a different way!! my favorite character is always the character i've most recently written for :')

as for looks, even though coco is having her moment on my blog lately i'm going with mikaela!! it's been way too long since i've reminded everyone here that i ♥ milfs fjskdjs and unlike with caroline or beth, i don't feel like i raised mikaela so i don't feel weird about finding her attractive (is it just me who feels this way? i can't thirst over any character who was at one time a minor in the story no matter how many years have passed because they'll always be a baby in my mind. i know they're just pixels and it doesn't matter, it's just a funny mental block i have). but in general i love how all my characters look and how it fits their personalities. i like that they just look like normal people (as normal as a sim can look anyway) and even the ones with the most put-together appearances (like elaine or coco) have moments where we see them without makeup. and i think i do a good job of ACTUALLY making it look like they have no makeup on, not like on tv shows where you can clearly see the actress is wearing a full face of "natural" makeup lmao. you can even tell that elaine wears concealer & mascara when she works out by comparing it to how she looks when she wakes up. it's the little details like that that make me love the visual format sims can offer! anyway that was a whole tangent but i have a lot of fun adjusting everyone's appearances over time / based on what's happening to them!

[ncityavenue]

OMG i jut thought of this idea ans i knew it would he perfect for you! you could do a headcannon on how 127 would be in physical or verbal fights

OMG BITCH— wait I'm sorry I just got excited BUT YES!!!

Btw I hope I did this right bc I always go on a tangent in headcanons and I need to apologize in advance for that. Also a bit of suggestiveness!

────────────────────────

How 127 would be in arguments

TAEIL

He would be fair, like you get in a argument with him Taeil would be probably one of the most mature one. BUT, if you really have him fucked all the way up he's not gonna hear you out no matter what you say. He would be cursing you out in korean and his basic english😭😭, I could see him asking johnny how to say bitch in English and then call you it you're just like '🧍🏾‍♀️what did I just witness'. Specifically I think he would always end up arguing with tall people, johnny being an example. Then I feel like he would forget why he's mad a day after.

JOHNNY

He would try to use his height as intimidation, he wouldn't stop until he's right in some way, he wouldn't take the initiative that MAYBEEEE he is wrong in a argument. But since he's a sucker for cuteness he would be like "awww you're so cute when your mad" and that gives you more of a reason to be upset😭 toxic johnny? I don't knowwwww. I think he would probably do make up sex afterwards bc he can't stand you being mad at him for too long so, let him make it up to you🙈.

TAEYONG

He wouldn't want to argue like at all, that's the last thing he would want to do. He thinks arguing makes the situation even worse than it should be so he rather talk it out and be civil adults. He's another mature one, I feel like if he gets mad he starts tearing up a bit bc he doesn't like getting angry or pissed off. Protect him fr fr🙏🏽🙏🏽

YUTA

He gives the silent treatment. he doesn't yell,argue,or bring the situation up he's just silent. He rather just fuck the apology out of you, so angry sex is his go to. You swear he's not mad at you until you feel his intense glare burning holes into you while he's on the farther side on the couch, you could be like "babe are you ok? Need something?" He just shakes his head and goes back to watching the tv. But he does minimal hints tho, you could try and hug him he doesn't reject it all he does is not wrap his arms around you or he gives you those fake little hugs you give to someone you don't like. Then you know something is wrong. He doesn't reject your affection he just doesn't give too much of it back when he's annoyed at you.

DOYOUNG

I think we've all seen doyoung bicker with alot of the members and I personally think he's more of a whiner than a arguer, he wouldn't want to get you upset during the argument he would probably try to hold your hand to calm you down. He doesn't like arguing with you it's very different between you and his members, he's kind of like Taeyong and maybe a small toxic or red flag trait of his would be him trying to take you out or buy you something trying to take your mind off of it.

JAEHYUN

Oh he doesn't argue, he just sighs. He's basically like "you wanna talk it out, can we wanna fuck it out?". I guess you can say he's just too tired to raise his voice but honestly if he's at that limit, his voice is very loud and a little intimidating since he has a husky voice. But don't be scared, he too pussy🤫.

JUNGWOO

HE'S A MANIPULATOR IDC WHAT ANY OF YALL SAY. nah cause remember that video when it was him,doyoung,sungchan,taro,hendery,and kun they were doing the confrontational thing and had boxing gloves on? And how taro and jungwoo were up against each other and he was like "Look at you— look at me." THAT'S A MANIPULATION TACTIC. He would definitely be like "oh come on baby that's not me, I would never do that." Or "our relationship is better than this, you know me I would never🥺🥺" and if you're like "oh hell nah." He will be like "so you don't love me no more?" LIKE WHO SAID THAT–?? Sorry I just had flashbacks. ANYWAYS YEAH CUTE LIL JUNGWOO WOULD BE A MANIPULATOR.

MARK

Ok he wouldn't take it seriously at first like he would be laughing and then he would be like "oh shit they actually mad" his face would be like :o, and then start apologizing profusely to the point he almost gets on his knees you're just like "...wtf? Mark get yo ass up!" Trying not to stress him yall end up going out and talking it out, then he makes it up to you later...;) or if you not in that mood he will be sleeping on the couch crying

HAECHAN

He don't care who you are, he's not backing down. He's so much bark, like he would threaten to leave the house and take his stuff and you're like "do it then." With tears forming in your eyes,, And he's like "..oh.. baby I'm sorry I didn't mean that it was just in the heat of the moment-" then he basically becomes mark 2.0 just more brattyness and 100% aegyo. "I'll be so good that I will let you beat me in my games ok I won't pile the laundry on the bedroom chair" he claims.

────────────────────────

[astrabear]

Thoughts on sun/moon symbolism?

What a fascinating question to get with no context whatsoever! I have no idea how to answer it. Do you mean in general? In literature? In fandom? In The Old Guard in particular? Or just any thoughts I might happen to have lying around like spare change?

I'm going to go with the spare change approach.

First, a slight tangent: I got into the Old Guard fandom after having never been involved in fandom in more than a superficial way before. This means, for example, that I had no idea what the common fanfic tropes were. I'd see something and be like "my goodness! How creative! However did they think of that?" and it took a while to realize that's just, like, a thing that everyone knows about. "An AU in which one of them is a florist and the other a tattoo artist, that's interesting, I wonder what the draw was of those particular jobs..."

Anyway I saw a lot of sun/moon symbolism in art and fic, and sure, that makes sense, Joe calls Nicky "the moon when I'm lost in darkness," I dig it, it seems pretty popular. Then I joined tumblr (I started reading fic in summer 2020, joined a TOG Discord server in fall 2020, and didn't create a tumblr account until fall 2021. And I discovered that sun/moon symbolism is also a fandom thing, and people apply it to characters even when one of them doesn't call the other the moon. There was even a sun/moon character poll and I got very melodramatic about it just because it was a fun community bonding event.

But the thing is... after more than three years of TOG activity and especially after more than two years on tumblr and seeing how much of what happens in TOG happens elsewhere... I really don't have a whole lot of interest in tropes that tend to force characters into opposites/binaries. Joe = sun = warm, bright, passionate, loud, cheerful/ Nicky = moon = cool, pale, calm, quiet, inexpressive... they are so similar. They really really are. (They are also not the main characters and appear in a single two-hour movie, so most conclusions about their personalities and habits are extrapolated from very small details. Let's be honest, we've thought way more about this stuff than the writer and actors did and most of it is only one step above 'made up'.)

Also one of my pet peeves hates pet peeves is people trying to force these guys into some kind of weird heteronormative funhouse-mirror version of themselves that's just an awful tangle of misogyny and homophobia and racism. "Let's cast them as opposites" tends to overlap a little with this approach (so then you also get Joe = big, dominant, masculine, aggressive/ Nicky = small, submissive, feminine, meek) and that just makes me even more suspicious of the whole thing.

So... yeah. Those are my thoughts. I will say we've gotten some lovely fan art out of it.

[sanderstime]

My favorite headcanons, Dark Side Edition

Orange Side: "wow, you're including him?"

Yeah I know, I'm so great for doing so. - He is an instigator, he causes fights and debates constantly by blurting out an opinion he knows the other sides will hate just so he has an excuse to yell (he thinks it's fun.)

-He's naturally a loud guy, his whispers are barely quieter than normal talking.

-His handwriting is TERRIBLE. No one can really read it, except Remus because he taught him how to decode it. Just so he can annoy Janus when he can't figure it out.

-Remus and Janus are his best friends, and he specifically loves to make Logan mad.

-He's tried to make Patton mad and has only succeeded once, and never again. He keeps trying though.

-Loves spicy things. Probably eats takis for breakfast.

-dyes his hair flaming hot-Cheeto ass red, and he's iconic for it.

-He wears leather jackets... yeah...yeah he does.

-Cronus. that is his name ty

Remus:

Where.... where do I even BEGIN

-He's slightly taller than Roman and holds it over him constantly "Oh you can't reach the top shelf? let the BIGGER brother get it for you."

-Remus definitely writes fanfiction. Thats it.

-He is very musically gifted with instruments, especially the Tuba. He will convince Roman to perform with him and make him sing along to his tuba for 'brotherly bonding.'

-The first one to get lost if they went to an amusement park together, Logan would have the map and then turn around to see Remus is already missing.

-Dude is weirdly extremely flexible, like nearly contortionist-level of flexibility.

-he made a deal to marry Janus if they were single by 40. He initiated it and bothered him until Janus sighed and went "Fineeee."

-Like Roman, he sings on a daily basis, just... a lot more purposefully obnoxious.

-He likes to go into Romans room and make things just out of place, like stealing a single bulb from his fairy lights or moving things slightly to the left.

-He loves to play hide and seek, sometimes he'll just hide for no reason until someone finds him and screams when he gets scared.

-He also loves Disney, but he likes bringing up the disturbing behind-the-scenes facts that he knows.

-He actively thinks about the Roman Empire, as a joke.

-He does his makeup too, and he often does Romans' makeup too- it's one of the few parts of the day when they don't argue at all.

Janus:

-Despite loving snakes, he actually has pet rats. Two of them.

-He's the kind of guy to start a fight between two people and then begin recording when it escalates "Oooh did he just call you that? You going to let that slide?"

-In AU's where they have powers, I like him having the ability to shapeshift into people he makes a connection with. So when he finally opens up with someone he transforms into them and back to his normal self to prove that he cares y'know...

-He does care a lot, even though he fights often with the other sides he sees them all as his friends. Remus will always be who he's closest with.

-He and Virgil being bitter exes makes sense. idk it just does. I don't make the rules.

-His favorite board game is Secret Hitler. Because he is great at it.

-Birds creep him out, he doesn't like how they look up close and how loud they can be.

-Made a fake account posting fake science facts and tagging Logan, so Logan will go on long tangents about how wrong he is. Then he will reply with "Nope."

-Every time someone asks him to hand them something he will say "No." and hand it to them anyway.

-Makes sure everyone is taking care of themselves, he may not get along with everyone all the time but at the end of the day, he makes sure they are properly taken care of.

-would definitely get a two-headed snake tattoo.

- he NEEDS snakebites, like... c'mon.

[the-duchess-of-domination]

TW for ED/ARFID talk

I'm severely emetophobic (to the point of ARFID) yet I love tummies so much? The noises, the smooth skin, how it changes shape depending on how full it is, the fact that we need them to keep us alive! Everything! But only online. I'm such a sucker for upset tummy fluff yet if someone said their stomach hurt in real life I would probably cry on spot and hold my breath around them forever. I think part of the love for tummies (or I guess you could say kink but it's not that sexual for me) is because I wish I could do it IRL. I wish I could comfort people and rub their tummies when they don't feel well. So instead I go to tumblr where I can do it no problem. I know this is rambling, but I hope someone relates

-lurker anon

TW: OCD, Emetophobia

hi anon!! thank you for sharing!! im sure a lot of us (including me!!) can relate!

i’ll share a little bit about myself! everything with me started as a child, and there are a lot of overlapping layers. i knew from an early age (literally by 5 years old) that it was exciting to me when cute boys had stomach aches (usually from being fed too much, throwing up wasn’t really on my radar quite yet but it makes sense because it comes with the territory). most of the pieces of media i can remember leaving an impact on me usually cut away or just insinuated that a male character was nauseous or too full by showing their face turn green or having them duck off screen. nothing was ever particularly graphic. this also led to a fixation on stomachs in general, especially the stomachs of bigger guys.

though i never admitted this fascination to anyone (and nobody ever shamed me), i felt weird because i knew other people didn’t share this fixation, so i kept it to myself and tried to enjoy it in private (this usually took the form of writing stories or seeking out media that possibly had sick boys in it. i was a real sleuth). i was a bit obsessive with it, but overall most of the harm was internal rather than external because i was convinced that to enjoy watching men’s pain and discomfort must have meant i was evil or that something was seriously with me.

the thing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is that when you explain your compulsions and thoughts out loud they sound silly because you know they aren’t true, but you can’t help but think them. as a child my thoughts told me that to become sick was an admittance of weakness (which, obviously is SO not true lmao) and that expressing vulnerability was a man’s job. i developed crippling emetophobia that has persisted into my adulthood. the idea with vomiting and its lack of control was absolutely horrifying to me.

a man being sick? there is nothing sexier.

but me?

i began to have panic attacks through middle and high school. this later led to contamination OCD, always being terrified of being sick, and again, worrying and having thoughts about why i found it so attractive when boys admitted they were nauseous (that i must be corrupt, a bad person, crazy, etc).

sometimes i think our brains help us cope with trauma and fear by throwing us a bone every now and again. my fear of losing control manifests in fantasies where i hold all the power. i use my fetishes to strengthen the relationship i have with myself: that im not evil, or wrong, or corrupt, or out of control, or crazy. im just a girl who does things a little differently, and control in my fetish life helps me feel more comfortable dealing with my emetophobia in real life.

anyway, that was a long tangent, but i hope this resonates with the people!! 😭 we just love tummies man. i too love the little sounds they make and what those little sounds mean, the look of them, the way they sit on people’s hips, the fact that they can bloat bigger or get smaller, that we anthropomorphize them by saying they get “upset,” the chest and nipples right above them—i could write a manifesto i SWEAR.

-the duchess 👑🦢

[jorisjurgen]

The Crepin-Lore Manifesto.

Part 2: The Art of Being Lonely

[PART 1]

The story, or at least the part of it we do know, begins a long time ago - somewhere in Amakna, the capital of cuisine.

[The Temple of Ecaflip in Aux trésors de Kerubim / The Temple of Ecaflip in Dofus MMO, Amakna]

...But not yet the Ecaflip orphan temple itself. Those pictures are just me stating why the story's in Amakna. Anyway.

Somewhere, in a place we do not know, but close enough that fate would eventually bring the two to the temple, there was a family.

To be precise - a mother, a father, and their daughters and sons, as said by Kerubim himself, which I'll show in a little bit.

...Perhaps, only the mother knew that two of the children weren't her husband's - or maybe she married shortly after having them, and then had more children-

But, the timeline for that is quite tight.

...At the time of the show, Joris is 7 years old.

A tangent on the relationship between Kerubim, Joris, and the concepts of fatherhood and childhood trauma.

In the show, Kerubim never really says the quiet part of his backstory out loud. Obviously. Joris is just a child, and shouldn't have to know that.

Kerubim's goal was that Joris wouldn't have to know what it's like, or even think about it. He had to have a normal, happy childhood.

...Or as happy and normal as someone like himself could give.

Even though his home was not fit for it, and his own age and issues with mental health were a roadblock, Kerubim decided to take him in.

...A part of it is, probably, because Kerubim is a bit selfish. He wants someone who will adore him, and stay by his side.

Even if he knows, very consciously, that it might not be the best thing for Joris.

But there are other motivations , for how attached he was to the idea of adopting Joris, no matter how unprepared or lousy he would be as a father.

The thought that nobody else would understand the way Joris would feel the way he does.

The trauma of what happened during his childhood echoes in his mind to the point that even during amnesia, it still affects him.

Whether he became a hero to impress girls or not, he feels an innate compassion and need to help orphans.

It's his first thought, the go-to example, because he truly knows what it feels like, to be alone, helpless, and without a family.

And as far as he knew before the movie, he made Joris into an orphan with his two hands.

That has to be an awful feeling.

...He never did allow Joris to call him dad, growing up, did he? It's always been grampy-cat. Though everyone knows that he's his father.

Perhaps it felt like too much.

Or maybe he never really reconciled with the fact that Joris really loved him, not just because he raised him. Perhaps he expected him to be mad, when he found out what happened with Jahash and Julith, and that Kerubim has hidden it from him for all this time.

Or he expected him to like Jahash more.

The childhood at the temple of ecaflip wasn't the happiest, wasn't it?

...Obviously he wasn't taking what happened well, early on.

Obviously it made him vulnerable.

Around that time, Kerubim was given the highest honor, of transporting God Ecaflip's food, for being the best disciple of the temple.

And evidently, at that time, God Ecaflip... uh... cared about him as much as he cared bout the other orphans and demigods.

It's unknown how much time passed between this, and the confirmation ceremony.

But I'm sure, God Ecaflip pushed them apart even more.

Guilt, pain, and unreliable narrators.

Have you noticed one really, really funny thing about the show?

Atcham doesn't appear even once in Kerubim's narration, until the second to last episode.

For all the turmoil Kerubim seems to feel, Atcham feels like a secret he kept, up until he felt vulnerable enough to finally share some experiences with Joris.

Atcham's presence is like a blotted out shape he carefully doesn't mention.

It's obvious that almost being killed by Atcham is a reoccurring thing, as much as chasing Lou is, as much as rivalry with Indie is. But it's not present.

So why?

Perhaps, it's because Kerubim doesn't like talking about things that he knows were wrong of him to do. Because he doesn't want Joris to think any lesser of him.

Because he is ashamed. Or, maybe, because he feels bad about the way their relationship turned out.

The picture of what happened, or how Kerubim even felt about Atcham is a bit hazy.

Because it seems, that as much as Atcham hates Kerubim, and Kerubim hates himself, they feel those things for completely different reasons.

[PART 3]

[ratcandy]

hi hello hi!! i just finished bingereading cogr and i hope you don't mind if i yell into your inbox about your fic lol

SO FIRST OF ALL. i never expected i would get so attached to zote. but now i am! i will never get the neglect achievement after reading this. but i can't even be mad it's so good

i have to say that it's a really, REALLY good example of how to add depth to a normally unlikable character! like by the end zote is still at least a bit of a bastard, but after knowing how horribly literally everything in his life has gone you can't help but feel bad for him and hope things start looking up.

plus, it provides an explanation for why he's Like That. genuinely if he got therapy to work through his multitude of issues he'd probably be, like, 10x nicer about everything.

also while i did read the tags, i can't say i expected it to be THAT dark, mostly because i was thinking "it's a fic about zote being a nosk it can't be THAT bad." but nope! this man is suicidally depressed and by the end he's barely even trying to hide it. i don't mind though, it's DELICIOUS angst

OH and the format of the fic, where it's presented as zote talking to Someone Else, is absolutely GENIUS for this fic. genuinely this choice makes the fic so much better. i mean ok to start off i normally hate first-person pov in fanfiction but this sort of format i like. HOWEVER that's not my main point here

this structure lets zote's personality really shine through. if it wasn't filtered like this, first of all everything would be revealed way too quickly but also the writing would lose all of its character and emotion. plus the tangents and mid-sentences corrections, the way he corrects and interrupts himself...it's all BECAUSE of how this fic is framed. i just...aaah!! i don't know how to FULLY express how much i love the way cogr is framed. just know that i think it was a perfect choice on every possible level

OH I JUST REMEMBERED!! it makes the ending possible, and holy shit the ending. it's SUCH a gutpunch to realize he's all alone, talking to nobody, and then he just...keeps on talking. i am still reeling from it as i type this ask. bravo i think this is one of the best endings to a fic i've seen, especially for a sad ending

other things i've noticed!! first of all, there is excellent use of zote's unreliable narrating for foreshadowing, as well as wonderful callbacks and parallels!! i don't remember everything 100% since i was admittedly reading pretty quickly but from what i DO remember, i'm pretty sure i could go through cogr and find a TON of good stuff like this.

one thing i noticed in particular, the way he based himself off of vessels...DELICIOUS parallels there. i don't remember everything like i said but i'm pretty sure zote says some stuff about how it was dangerous to express emotions in the nosk den? stuff like that makes the way zote chose to disguise himself as a vessel just...augh. perfection 10/10

i also LIVE for your nosk lore and worldbuilding. i don't have much to say about this i just really like worldbuilding and this is quality

i also decided to read the trivia doc and first of all. the yikes ending would have been...i want to say cruel but honestly i'm more inclined to say tragic? although cogr is already a tragedy...ooh that would be interesting analysis, although i don't really have fully formed thoughts on it yet

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, the au in the trivia doc with zote AND two siblings?? it's one of the only ways that this whole mess could go happily (although that's to be expected of a hollow knight thing tbh), and i am rotating it in my mind.

ANYWAY that's all i have to say!! or well it isn't but it's all i can think of and actually communicate understandably lol. anyway cogr is a 10/10 fic and i will be thinking about it for the rest of my life

I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS ASK <-- SHE'S LYING SHE MIMED PUNCHING A WALL AND YELLED OUT LOUD "YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!" WHILE SHE READ

I am deVOURING this I . HOUGH. Big long ask about my big long fic I must consume it so vigorously. my TTEEETH are ripping INTO THIS

OK !! 1: GOOD That you're attached to Zote now!!!!! I love hearing that I've dragged people into Hell unimaginable!!!! Fuck yeaH!!!

AND 2: hhoughHHHhhgouh ;s;;;;; hhhhg;sh. This ask is so nice I am smiling so much and giggling and kicking my feet. also the hdgKJH "It can't be THAT dark!" hdgkJH YEAH. IT. Tends to blindside people from what I've heard!!!!!!

Hhoguhhh ;;; I wish I could respond in a more cohesive manner but I am jus. Gushing . Thank youuu thank you so much I'm so normal about getting complimented

ALSO YOU DRAWING THE PARALLEL BETWEEN HIS DIGUISE BEING A VESSEL .... I kid you not I Out Loud just went YES!!! and started clapping and hooting and hollering because i"m so normal especially when my Funny Symbolism gets noticed dhKSHDGKLHG

AS for whether CoGR counts as an honest Tragedy ... obviously I would DEVOUR any analysis on it BUT From My perspective. I go with a Maaaybe ? Since tragedies are like. The downfall is brought about by the protagonist's own actions. And like. Yes! But also ? but also Sort of! I'm not sure!!!!!!

AND SIBLINGS AU YES!!!!!! That one has been developed a bit more since that trivia doc thing!!!!! I'll tag the siblings au tag in the. Tags, an u can go through what we had for it!!!!! It is indeed the only happy version of the story (with some inevitable angst still sprinkled in of course) but!! YEA!! Bronze (Zote's brother) and Silva (Zote's sister) are my beloveds for all time

OK I'm normal now. I'm so normal.Yep. Thumbsup emoji THANK YOU SO much for this ask I .will be returning to it frequently I'm sure. just so I can go EEE and flail my arms around and rip my teeth into it <33333333

[haleigh-sloth]

Hello again shigaraki expert! Hope all is well. Forgive me if you’ve answered this before, but what do you think people get wrong about him the most often and why? Both by viewers as well as the characters in the series. Thank you for always being so open to questions!

🤯 What a question. Also I have no idea how to react to being called that askdfasg. I think I kind of went on a little tangent about that here, but there are actually a lot of answers to this question.

There are a LOT of things about Tomura that I personally feel get mischaracterized by fans--but a lot of these takes come from multiple different subsects of the fandom. So I have to like...break it down I guess so it doesn't come across as a disjointed point I'm trying to make. And then in canon, god, there is also a lot of misunderstanding of him but that's because Tomura doesn't say anything out loud.

I'll break it into sections asghasf

Some takes are just not worth engaging with imo, like the ones talking about how he "actually wanted to kill his dad", or was actually born evil. I mean.....if that's the conclusion you've come to when reading the manga, there is nothing I can do to help you lol.

Takes I feel are skewed but not without justification to some extent though:

Man-child who throws tantrums: I mean yes, in the beginning when you didn't know the character well, you saw this behavior. And you hear the protagonist side characterize him this way. I get where this idea comes from, it isn't based off of nothing in canon. But supposedly people latched onto this characterization and never let it go. Now I personally don't see this a lot because anybody who thinks this is not someone I'd engage with in fandom anyway, but apparently in fics? I guess it's an issue. But yeah, needs to be let go. His reactions in early chapters have been explained to us as serious stress responses as a result of his life circumstances, not him being spoiled and unhappy that he didn’t get what he wanted, similarly to a toddler. The scratching at his skin and severe emotional irritation? It’s a panic attack.

Making his entire personality out to be nothing but a gamer nerd. Again, this isn’t without some justification. But it’s a little weird that so often he gets reduced down to…just that. It’s not even prevalent enough in his personality to have been put in his manga profile as something he likes, like it was for Spinner. It’s just weird that…that’s all he gets out of people sometimes.

The more complicated mischaracterizations (imo) are as follows:

“He has his own goals that he came to on his own.” Well, there is some evidence to back this up, if you ignore another key aspect of his character. He hates society, yes. He was abandoned by the common population and by heroes, yes. But his resiliency from this fact is completely tanked, because the real reason behind his goal to just get rid of everything is because he hates himself and sees no possibility for a future where the current world will ever accept him. But notice how in recent events we’ve been shown that despite the fact that he sees no future for himself in the current society, he still keeps hoping and holding out for someone to help him and accept him anyway. His self-hatred is not something he came up with on his own—that’s AFO. Society sucks, he hates it, and he has a hatred for it based off of personal experiences. But that’s not what he needs saving from. He needs saving from the hate he holds for himself and his own existence.

“He was liberated from his past.” He wasn’t. The proof is current chapters, but also if people would take like ten minutes to go back and really look at MVA, they’d see it for what it was. It was insanely negative development for Tomura and the shackles his past have around him only tightened their grip, as did AFO. Arguments over whether the possession plot line being planned from the start aside, MVA was never an arc about him being set free, or letting go, or moving on. It’s really really obvious if you look at it without being held up on the nice idea of Tomura being an independent thinker.

“He wants to make a change for the better.” I don’t know that this even really needs much explanation. I know it’s a common idea that he’s “fighting for a change”, but there’s a reason the manga doesn’t uphold his actions as something positive. Decaying cities with random bystander people in them is not positive nor is it fighting for any kind of change. And the manga doesn’t even try to frame it that way. So I find this take to be a result of people not letting go of past characterizations when we had less info, and not letting go of fanon Tomura. I talked about this here and here.

“He’s this selfless and compassionate person who prioritizes others (namely the League) above himself.” Honestly, I don’t see any indication of this, but it’s a popular idea people have of him. His desire for the LOV to live how they wish and HIS desire to destroy everything are 100% mutually exclusive. In a way both ideas might point in the same direction, but in that sense both of those things point in the same direction as AFO’s plans too. But they don’t enmesh well do they? On another note, he’s definitely self destructive, but he’s not sacrificial. He’s not out there thinking of the League’s well-being as a result of any sacrifice he makes. He operates rather independently (separating and going into a coma for four months). And the proof of this is, well, currently. When two of the remaining members of the league who have some sort of independence in their actions willfully turned a blind eye to his situation and pretty much abandoned him in the AFO situation, and have shown no internal conflicts to AFO taking over their operation. It just tells me that Tomura never set the bar for the League members to sacrifice themselves for each other, including himself. He doesn’t. What Spinner, Compress, and Twice do in their arcs is a different discussion altogether. But if we’re talking about Tomura specifically, he is not sacrificial for others. There is not really any evidence for that imo. I do think he is a compassionate person deep down, at his core. But that’s Tenko, who he really is, who he’s always been. That’s an aspect he’s always had outside of AFO that gets clouded over by his current personality that is nothing but trauma responses.

I think those are my biggest things that I feel get misconstrued, misread, mischaracterized about him by fandom. In the manga itself, there isn’t really a single soul who knows his true self (yet). So to answer that I’d say….everyone misunderstands him to great extents. But that’s intentionally done. Nobody is supposed to see how much he really hates himself and blames himself for his family and for how he turned out as a person. (Yet)