#anyways i will try not to be excessive because i myself like to only use profanity when it's really necessary for emotional impact

[thebeautifulfantastic]

apologies in advance if my posts and tags moving forward contain more swearing than before... i've been hanging out with the acting/film/music crowd and let me tell you, artists know how to swear

[silent-stories]

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑... 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: a silly game leads to some confessions (jj's version of this)

You dangled your legs off your house's roof as the sun slowly sank on the horizon, painting the sky different shades of pink and orange.

The boy sitting next to you brought the cigarette he was holding between his fingers to his mouth and blew out a cloud of smoke from his nose, which the cool but not excessively cold breeze of that evening immediately blew away.

The shirt he'd refused to put on after the shower he'd taken before going up there lay beside him, even though you'd insisted that if he didn't put on clothes he'd catch a cold, and his bare chest rose and fell as he let smoke in and out of his mouth.

"Never have I ever…hurt myself trying to be funny." You said.

You always found it fun to play that game with JJ, every time you discovered new things about each other even though it's been several years since you've been playing it.

The rule was to always tell the truth, as if you were using one of those lie detectors they only used on criminals you saw on TV but sometimes you found yourself wondering if JJ had ever told you a lie during that game that maybe you had become too old for playing.

JJ chuckled. "I bet you already know the answer."

The light from the day's last rays of sunlight reflected off his ocean eyes, making them appear to be a hundred different shades of blue.

"Oh I know, but I want to hear it from you." You laughed, thinking about what had happened that morning several years ago when you were both little more than children.

"That tree was obviously unstable, it wasn't my fault!"

"That tree was unstable but you tried to climb it anyway."

"Tried? I did it!"

"Yeah and then you fell. And you broke your wrist."

"Yeah but you took good care of by me afterwards. That's when I knew I wanted to keep you."

"Wait, you wanted to keep me? I wanted to keep you so you didn't end up in other similar situations and risk your life every two days."

JJ laughed as he stubbed out his cigarette butt on the roof.

"It's your turn." You said.

"I don't know...I feel like I already know everything about you."

"Then ask me something you don't know."

He didn't say anything, as if he was carefully choosing his next question and after a few moments of silence you wondered if he had decided that the game wasn't worth playing anymore.

The birds had stopped chirping and the kids who usually played outside had gone back to their homes.

"Never have I ever...been in love."

Your head spontaneously turned to him but he was staring straight ahead, where the sun was now almost completely gone. His hair still damp from the shower clung to his neck and forehead and there hadn't been a moment since he'd stepped out of the bathroom that you hadn't repressed the urge to reach over to brush the dripping blonde strands from his forehead.

He was pretty, and there was never a moment in your life when you didn't think it.

And you absolutely were in love, probably not from the first moment you saw him because you were too young to know what love even was.

Now you knew.

But he was your best friend.

"No" You lied, "no, I don't think so."

JJ didn't answer, continuing to stare at an indefinite point in front of him. No funny or sarcastic comments, no jokes.

"It's your turn." He didn't turn to you.

"Never have I ever..." you thought about it for a moment, you had nothing to lose, right? "been in love."

"It's not fair. That's what I asked." He chuckled under his breath.

"I don't think there's a rule against asking the same question." You shrugged.

JJ rolled his eyes, then stayed silent for a few moments, as if thinking about it.

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his damp locks, "still am."

You have felt a strange sensation in the pit of your stomach and in your belly. I was a weird mix of fear and hope that you couldn't quite identify.

"Does she know?" You just wanted JJ to be happy, you didn't care if he would break your heart.

"Nah."

"Why?"

He snorted. "Because she doesn't like me that way."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because she's never even been in love."

Oh

JJ turned to you, finding your surprised expression.

"Yeah." He chuckled, his laughter was colder and less genuine than usual, "Hella embarrassing isn't it? I've been waiting for days if not months for the right moment to ask that stupid question during this game and when I finally work up the courage, she tells me she's never been in love. I almost wish you'd told me you were head over heels for that kook who always sits next to you and flirts all the time at every history class. Someone who deserves you. But like this? You make things even more hard because every time I'm around you I can't help but think about what it would be like-"

It was a way to stop his rambling, it was a way to tell him he was wrong, it was a way to tell him you had lied for the first time during the game.

Your lips were on his and your hand was finally in his still damp hair. It was short, a few seconds and it was already ended as if it had never been there.

"I thought... you said..." He stammered, surprised. On his lips the ghost of a smile.

"I lied. I'm sorry, I fucking lied. It's you. It's always been you."

In no time his lips were on yours for a second kiss.

[latteandjacks]

"They should've made an emphasis on Sallie May being trans before" "There should be things that openly indicate she's trans aside from the horns" "The merch shouldn't show her with a bulge if she's trans, logically she should hide it"

My brother in Christ shut the fuck up

Aight, I get where most of you are coming from but let me just say that Sallie May is a big breath of fresh air from a lot of canon trans rep I've been seeing in the internet about big projects such as Helluva Boss, let's go point from point

This contains spoilers from Hell's Belles

Sallie May is a transgender Imp, this is not something that was decided just now for the short as her first appearance in the moon harvest festival already shows her with the thick line horns (Which are exclusively from AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) Imps

If there's only one point these people made that I agree with is the fact that the horns thing should be something implied in the show, not specifically with the intention of outing a trans character but something simple that could give more context for those who do not check the wikis or the social medias that often

Other than that, I feel like they haven't actually meet a trans person irl because they believe that her being trans should be something that everyone should catch the first time they see her, that someone should inmeditaly point out she's trans, yet, they get upset at the fact that she's proudly showing a bulge on the merchandise They want the show to scream verbally about her being trans but not casually

You have no idea how relieved I felt when, at no point in the episode, her being trans was mentioned or outed, none pointed out her horns or voice and instead the problem was her feeling left out of her sister's life, and, again, not because she's trans and feels like Millie doesn't view her the same or some bullshit, but because Millie doesn't go home as often and felt a bit mad when she had to do her work In fact! Her not getting genitalia reconstructive surgery is also a thing that is cool about her, she got tits but didn't chop off the dick and is not insecure about it, most of times trans people are put between not getting surgery or getting ALL of the surgeries AND being extremely insecure about their genitalia, and yes, there's a lot of trans people that feel that way, but I think that aspect of her is really good representation for those that don't want to get surgery or only want to either reduce or enlarge their chest, not everyone gets dysphoria the same way and this doesn't make her less of a woman for that

Even if it's okay to have characters where one of the main issue of the comes from being trans (I have a few myself), It's also nice to see character that are trans but the main issue with their life comes from something completely different and not related

So for people upset about her passing so well you can't immediately tell she's trans Surprise! That's a lot of us want, that's what a lot trans people irl try, to just be a person of the gender we really are, to be normal and not needing to always out of ourselves, to be treated the same no matter what I make a lot of jokes about my lack of dick and my excess of tits, I only out myself as trans when formally presenting to someone and that is just because I'm not allowed to be trans so I don't pass as a boy at all and need to specify, but me being trans is something that most of my friend only bring into the conversation to make a friendly joke or when I bring it up

Sallie May is not only good representation, is one of the best I've seen in a while in the modern adult media, because she's subtle yet obvious You may not like Viv (Me too girl /non gendered), but I got to give it to her, the lgbt+ representation she does is on point

Anyways now that I tackled down that issue is time to actually talks about this short as a whole see ya

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.

Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics.  I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )  

I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).  

It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.  

Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time. 

Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon. 

I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.  

Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.  

And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.

I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.

[compassionatereminders]

Hi! I wanted to answer the anon who was asking about what ADHD meds do & don’t help with as someone who was late-diagnosed and started meds this year. However, the effect of ADHD meds and even experience of ADHD itself varies heavily from person to person, so do keep that in mind!

DO:

- Actually hearing and retaining what people are saying. I was never able to fully experience a college lecture without panic because of only hearing bits and bobs of the lecture, going in one ear and out the other. I can truly focus and actually respond to what people are saying in a single line of thought without desperately trying to stimulate myself as much as possible to maybe get 1/2 of the detail to stick in my brain.

- Time blindness!! At first starting meds it felt like the day went for 500 years. I felt so much slower and mentally calmer, and I was able to complete “simple” tasks in under 15-20 minutes that could normally take me up to 3 hours due to distractions.

- Memory! Off my meds I have an enormously hard time remembering anything I’m trying to accomplish. I bounce from task to task without ever finishing it. On meds I’m able to think “I need to do laundry” and I just. Do the fucking laundry. It’s magical and I’ve cried more than once thinking about how much I’ve spent my life thinking I’m stupid or lazy for not being able to “just do the thing” like everyone else.

- Shutting down/fearful procrastination— I would be stuck doing nothing for days and days because I would want to do a task so badly but overly think about it and essentially paralyze myself in the decision making/getting started process. When I’m on my meds I can just do the fucking thing! Even if I don’t really feel like it! When before I practically had to have the exact perfect circumstance and could never create them, I can just plop myself somewhere and do the fucking thing. Just like I’ve been told all my life— “Even if you don’t want to, do it anyways” except now I have the actual ability to do that like everyone else. Before it was like everyone else was telling me to turn on a light, but I had no switch.

DON’T:

- Help with hyperfixation. Sometimes I can fixate even worse when I’m on my meds, just because my mind is so single stream that I’m able to do things for even more excessive periods. I burn myself out accidentally a lot quicker if I don’t provide myself with manual distractions to take breaks from daily/academic tasks.

- Immediately fix you. It was hard to start meds because I had to unlearn a lot of habits I had developed to cope with my undiagnosed ADHD— such as constantly moving, stimulating myself, having candy, etc. Just because the day became longer didn’t mean my time management became awesome either. I’m still working on tools that help ADHD with my meds!

- Not really a don’t but more so an unexpected side effect was becoming very intensely angry or upset when the medicine wears off. I struggle with emotional dysfunction already but the anger was so severe and I didn’t know that ADHD meds wearing off can cause that.

- Work 100% all of the time. Some days things like stress, poor sleep, poor diet, etc, can alter the way the same dose of meds works for you. Especially if you are nicotine dependent or a regular caffeine consumer, the way your meds work can change on a day by day basis. Some days I feel like the meds aren’t working at all, but more often than not there’s still a difference between myself being unmedicated and medicated.

- Instantly make you better at studying/task completion. Apparently having ADHD for years made me so extremely avoidant of many things that I just don’t have the skill set to do them well yet. Like studying, for example. I still struggle with extreme perfectionism that impedes me outside of ADHD paralysis.

- I’m gonna say it twice but they DONT FIX YOU ON THEIR OWN. Yes, they make your life fucking way better than before especially if you’re an adult with undiagnosed ADHD, but you have to learn how to use tools and learn skills to support yourself for the medication to help you to the max capability! I will definitely say that being on meds helped overhaul my mindset when I’m off meds and improved my perception of myself, but again, the meds can only get me so far!

I hope this helped anon!!!

Thank you for taking the time to share this! I hope anon sees it 💕

[cooki3face]

messages from someone who let go of you

message: I’m so obsessed with my tarot table set up that I couldn’t help but share it with you guys. I felt pulled to do a message from people who may have left you behind or moved on from you. This message is meant for those of you who have somewhat moved on or are somewhat far removed. You may have distant memories or have thoughts of this person still that feel somewhat against you or random due to so much time having passed or your life having changed so much since then. I keep hearing “I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend, it’s not what he’s for made for.” From Billie’s song, I don’t remember what it’s called, “what was I made for?” I was so unprepared to come out here and read tarot that my phone is at 20% but I came out and lit up all my candles anyways and sat down at my table. This will be a channeled message, directly from them to you. Enjoy.

***

i.

"I'm not real sure where I'm going or what's left of me to do now. I feel as though I've done everything I said I would or put myself in the position to receive everything I possibly could, I feel like I've obtained and had everything there is for me to have and yet, there's this emptiness. I'd like to say that I would equate the loss of you to the emptiness I feel but to say the loss of you would not fully encapsulate the responsibility I carry for not being there and leaving you more times than we can count on all ten of our fingers put together. I still like to tell myself and others that it was not a big deal, that the loss of you, of us, was not a big deal. I will find a way to minimize anything and everything that means all of anything to me in order to hide the fact that it is so painfully important and you know this already. I am not ignorant to the reality of the situation, the loss, and my behavior. I know better I just couldn't do better. Since you've been gone, things have not been any less chaotic or trivial. Your absence leaves hard lessons here that I could not foresee while you were here. I keep saying since you've been gone, or since you've left, or in your absence because it feels as though you've left me, I may have left you plenty in spirit, I may have left a void within you so frequently that at some point you did leave.

you left me with no choice but to pick up and leave. I've been forced to carry all my bags and pull all my karma up the hill all by myself now that you're gone and life has thrown at me lesson after lesson. I do not know where life will take me or what's in store for me or what else there is for me to have now that what I would've really wanted has voluntarily bowed out of my life and left only tower moments and lessons. I cannot get over the way that it feels for justice to have finally come for you and served you right after all this time of me not being able to deliver it to you myself. I find myself brought to tears or battling excessive bouts of emotion behind you not being here and I have nobody to cry to and nobody to blame but myself. I am trying to let go, I am trying to release what is no longer a reality for me any longer. You.

I lost such a massive opportunity for my own fulfillment when you walked out the door. I hated to see your back to me I hated to see you go but I understand that you were tired and I understand that all my time I spent fearing your abandonment I manifested such a reality for myself by being afraid. All the pushing I did, all the damage I did, all the hurt and destruction I caused being someone whose shadow eclipsed them because I let it. Now, all I've been doing is trying to heal and trying to do the inner work like you told me so many times, all that time ago. I feel as though my future leads nowhere now truly, I may have felt that way when you were around but even throughout all my hopelessness and hardship, I always thought I'd find my way to you in the end and now that you're not here there lies no reward.

***

ii.

I've learned so much now that I am away, many things make sense to me that didn't before, I see things so much clearer than I had previously. There is so much within this world, on this plane of existence for me, for us, to see and understand. My departure was necessary however sudden or abrupt, everything I've done I've done for love and there is never a lack of purpose behind my actions and I wish so badly that I had the ability to tell you all these things directly, for some reason, unbeknownst to me, my heart aches. I still think of you however far removed I may be, I still think of you no matter what it may seem like, I still think of you despite my wish not to. I am not heartbroken nor am I half of a whole. I am in my power, I am willing and able to reach towards all horizons and create the life I had deserved for myself all along that you could not give me despite all my time spent sitting idle waiting for you. Please do not mistake my willingness to come through and communicate as me being truly unhappy or ungrounded, I am not. I have returned home to myself and wherever I go, whomever I am with, and however much I change I will always reside here.

I have discovered things within this life and within this realm that I thought for many years and even before you that I could not have and now I have them. So I am not unhappy or discontented, but, you are not gone from my heart and from my mind despite how much I've grown and despite how much I've discovered myself to have. I do not love you the way I used to and so at times I do find myself plagued solely with confusion as to why at random moments I find myself thinking of you. I have proved to myself that I could have the whole entire world within the palms of my hands but I carry with me a secret and that is you. I build high walls of my kingdom around the memorial that is your absence in my life. And when things fall away and succumb to time and go back to the earth from which they came, we remember them and we pay careful attention not to disturb them, we let bygones be bygones. Your essence is with me, you are here in spirit but I refuse to trudge up what's passed gone back up again simply because I have the capacity to remember.

because you are not here and because we share the connection that we share or had once what we had, there is a part of me that lies within me that sometimes is confused or or feels clueless about what the rest of my life will look like without you, whether or not I will always remember, whether or not the small memorial you have within my spirit will be given a mural, whether or not even in deep and aligned partnership and connection I will find myself wondering where you are. I store your heart within mine. Sometimes, even if I am not heartbroken or paralyzed with loss I become frustrated or angry because I can't bring myself to understand what lies ahead of me through what I have holding within me now, these memories. But, where I am afraid, or angry, or confused I show myself mercy and grace. I say to myself, "What meant something to us once is not always easily forgotten." Before I left you behind and found the strength within myself to do so, I feared deeply that without you I would find myself alone eternally, I still feel to some extent that that might even be a possibility but the difference is I do not fear it this time. I will be brave, I will not live my life paralyzed by possibility and I will do my darndest to give myself everything I needed and was ever owed.

And I will never be angry that it does not include you if I find that it does not. There is no sentence more immeasurable than a lifetime so I will do only what I can do and make it a good one and leave everything else up to be decided to spirit.

***

iii.

I think of you and the way I walked away frequently. You were a piece of a revealing story. You proved that I was struggling, you proved that I had deeply rooted things I refused to dig through or acknowledge, you proved my actions were detrimental, that my shadow is large and looming. I attempt to run from myself every single day from the second I rise in the morning to the moment my head hits the pillow. To see yourself clearly in the mirror when you've done so much to obstruct the reflection is misery. My spirit yearns for healing and for me to answer to its wailing but I don't like the sound. I have to hear it all the same anyway even If I don't like it, your absence has left my ears ringing, I feel like the truth of my reflection is being pulled out of me in knots. I'm at a loss for words, I find myself feeling as though in my ways, I've cheated myself out of an opportunity that was you. I feel like I have no plan in store for me like I've been stranded on an island with only myself to talk to. I can't see myself having anything fulfilling without you being here, everything I build I knock down, everything I find my grip around slips right through my fingers.

I've been working so hard to dress myself up, to make myself look dazzling and shiny and new just as something I would reach for regardless of it not being gold, but, my old way of doing things is no longer working. There is no void so deep. there is nothing left to do but wade in the marsh that is the consequence of my own actions and I am afraid. I know that you cannot hear me over the sound of your joy and the sound of heavenly support but I wish that you could. The second I could not reach you any longer the fabric I'd sewn made from whatever I told myself at night and whatever I felt I could've had had been ripped from beneath me. I am angry because I feel that what I have reaped is unfair. I have made no progress where true progress lies, I feel disappointed and displeased. Whatever I've found myself having, worldly or in spirit is not enough. Your wrath is hellish and you've not even lifted a finger.

If I were to speak to you in the flesh, I would still find myself lying, seething as if what I've received is unfair, and hiding behind ego because it is all I have to offer at this time. I have not changed, I don't know that I am capable. Please have mercy on me. Please forgive me. I have a tendency to look at you almost religiously, if God lived on earth beside us, he/she would be you. I'm far removed from spirit, I do not know how to pray, I do not hear their messages, I do not know my way, and you, a beacon of light, have left. I'm trying to let go, I'm trying to teach myself to see things differently, I am trying to do or find something. And after all of this, If I were to speak to you, you would show me some grace, you would still wish me well, you would still want the best for me or want me to turn inwards and heal. All I want all the time is your blessing. It has taken everything in me not to turn up on your doorstep as I feel I've been exiled. Every time I've washed up unannounced or without your permission both in the physical and in the astral was a call for help, to let you know that my shadow is looking straight at me and there is nothing I can do about it.

All I have to say now is that you were right about everything and what I have received I am owed and what is fair is fair. I hope that you are free and I hope for my own.

***

Do I even wanna post this?? Please, all I can think is GIRL, WHAT IS THIS??? I know I’m the one who wrote it but when I’m channeling it never feels as though it’s coming directly from me, I’m only a vessel at that point, the only credit I feel I can take in the moment is the fact that it is my fingers who is typing it. If you’re an intuitive or a reader of some sort you know exactly what I’m talking about but these messages are so dramatic. While writing them the part of me that was present was like “oh please! 🙄✋🏾 pack it up!!” But anyways, let me post it before I chicken out.

[calciumdeficientt]

what do you think context was behind justin's dialogue "derby told me last night i was his best friend"

Ohhhhhhh I’ve been ruminating on this ever since i listened to all the quote videos (please dont ask me why i did that i really really dont know) i pride myself on being somewhat of a stickler for the most inane and pointless background stuff.

Today i plan to answer the question:

WHY THE HELL DID DERBY SAY THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

The easy answer here would be to say that Derby was drunk, and simply feeling very loving(that sentence feels so insane to me for some reason).

Harrington house feels very much to me the hotspot for “gatherings” of the bullworth’s brightest, best and most sickeningly rich. The little guest list on the desk as you enter, as well as Bif on the door in the weed killer mission, and obviously the general worldview of the preps points towards a general pickiness to guests, likely not accepting anyone by on their own social circle. Another key background factor to consider is the little bar that derby cowers behind in Glass Jaw during his bossfight and also the bar in the beach house, leading me to believe that the events hosted at Harrington house are usually organised with the intention of drinking copious amounts of excessively strong and exceedingly expensive alcohol.

There’s bound to be a few contentious objectors to drinking, at least excessively, on school grounds and on school nights and i think the ever-pining proto-jock Justin probably doesn’t partake as much as Derby “I’m too rich to bother attending class” Harrington. All this to say, Justin was 110% more sober and therefore 110% more receptive to derby’s drunk babblings than any other partygoer, prep or otherwise.

In my mind, Derby Harrington, despite having everything he could ever conceivably want at the snap of his fingers, is one of the loneliest students at bullworth academy. He mentions being beaten by his father for fraternising with a nanny, and shows a general disdain for his betrothed, pinky, by not even bothering to show up for their dates. He cannot truly get close to anyone because of his position as an heir to a pretty substantial oil empire. Great care is needed to avoid being sliced right out of the will and being condemned to hush money by his father. Bif is great, but he’s not all that much emotionally, at least not in derby’s mind anyway. He’s far far beneath Derby, that’s made abundantly clear when Bif loses his boxing match to Jimmy; he’s sneered at with the kind of vitriole that can only come from someone who views himself as king of his own private universe. Justin is in the same boat just presumably with a lot less petty cash at his disposal. He’s a weird ass bitch who’s so incredibly desperate to expand his social circle into the Jocks’ because he feels somewhat inadequate in his own. To use his verbage, he’s a peon in the prep hierarchy. He’s weak and scrawny and of little use in the stature department, at least not when compared to Bif anyway.

This night, Derby is drunk out of his mind, as usual, and Justin is beside him, a little buzzed but not enough to put him off his studies for the next day. They are sat on opposite ends of a chaise longue in the drawing room. Well… Justin is sat, Derby is more slumped, folded over the armrest in a way that does not look comfortable in the slightest. He’s telling a story from a recent trip to Europe, about a girl he met in a city that his drunk brain just can’t seem to decide on the pronunciation of, gulping scotch out of a crystal glass like its going out of fashion. Justin is listening actively, trying to piece the story together amongst the many asides derby seems to be wandering off into. That’s when the bomb drops “know, i like to think you’re my best friend here Justin” “what?” “You heard me….. anyway this damn woman”

Safe to say it was the best night of Justin Vandervelde’s life.

[tinycheesecakedetective]

What about relaxation for Eternal Sugar and Greed for Golden Cheese?

Rambling/Concept Post pt. 2 (OLD)

My first ask! Thanks for asking, by the way, and sorry that this took so long to answer. I've been staring at this draft like the void, and it started to stare back.

Anyways, enough about my procrastination. That sounds good, at least for Eternal Sugar! Greed just feels kinda easy, not to mention that greed is seen as a good thing in her story specifically. Spinning greed back to being a bad trait feels like it dampens a bit of her story. That does give me a different idea for her, though. Golden Cheese Cookie, Beast of Gluttony and Burning Spice Cookie, Ancient Hero of Renewal

So you might be wondering, "Gluttony? Why gluttony, that has to do with food, doesn't it?" To which I say, I will get to it. Abundance is having [something] in excess, and Golden Cheese was drowning in wealth, subjects, and power before it was stripped from her during the Great Flour War. The reason why she was greedy was for the sake of her kingdom and went to great lengths to provide for them and her allies.

Which brings us back to why. Why gluttony? It's because Gluttony doesn't have a reason. It doesn't have a reason why it needs to consume, it just does. It is mindless, driven only by basic instinct and a lust for more because it needs more. Gluttony doesn't care if it deserves it or not, it needs to be fed and it will have what it wants. It is greed without reason. And it's a great fit for an ancient who loses sight of why they were greedy in the first place.

So... What exactly would her kingdom look like? Considering it's completely gone, GC would use the digital world she created as a blueprint. While she has the cheesebirds to help with reconstruction efforts, she lacks the resources needed. So, she begins searching for materials, and that's where the trouble begins. GC looks at the blueprints and decides it's simply not enough, so she begins expanding. And she doesn't stop; the kingdom becomes a tumor across the desert with more and more areas being built. Nowhere is untouched, and trying to explore the place is impossible because there's always new rooms, new entrances, and new things to explore. It's practically a maze with Golden Cheese at the center, always wanting more and never having enough.

Now onto Burning Spice... After beating myself up about how to make destruction a positive trait, I eventually decided on Renewal as their soul jam. Renewal, according to Merriam Webster, means "to make like new", and yes, I know it's close to change, but this was hard okay? Canonically, they give me warrior brute vibes, and I think their kingdom is just a complete wasteland. Like, there isn't anything there but monsters and sand, and maybe some old houses that survived. And technically their resting place, but that barely counts. When your known trait is destruction, it's kinda hard to think of anything to do for it. Maybe in the past they had a more permanent area? Spice seems to have connections with the Mala tribe, especially with Capsaicin Cookie specifically, but again, speculation.

I imagine Spice's (new) territory to be nomadic. Fitting with the theme of Renewal, they don't have any permanent homes and move between Spicy Spider Valley and the area surrounding their tomb in a pilgrimage of sorts. They of course have Burning Spice as ruler, but also a group of advisors that can make calls in their absence. I think the way they get their soul jam is they go on a solo journey through the wilderness to try and find himself or something, I can work out the details later.

Hollyberry Cookie, Beast of Ambition and Eternal Sugar Cookie, Ancient Hero of Serenity

Thankfully, this is way easier. Hollyberry is a boisterous, loving individual and my absolute favorite Ancient. For a while, my favorite update was the Dragon's Valley update, and I adore her interactions with Pitaya Dragon. But enough of my rambling, we're here to talk about her becoming ambition! Now this is pretty straightforward, passion and ambition are similar after all. But the difference between the two is that passion is a feeling, and ambition is a mindset. Taking one's passion and hyper focusing on a specific thing could make it into an ambition. And that's not always a good thing.

Having ambitions is great! Letting those ambitions run wild is ill advised, however. Balance is important to have, and if you don't keep that in mind, your ambitions can make you go to extremes and you might do things you never would've just to reach them. How Hollyberry falls is through her passion for the ones she loves. It starts innocently enough, she gets worried about the well being of her family, so she tries to get strong enough to protect them. She starts with trying to connect with her soul jam more, then finding artifacts that could boost her strength, and then all of a sudden she's trying to unlock the path to divinity. Whoops, how'd that happen? Interestingly enough, the Hollyberry Kingdom would probably end up the least affected by Beast!Hollyberry's actions. All they know is that she said that she would be going on a short trip and she hasn't come back yet, so the kingdom wouldn't change unless Pitaya got tired of their stalemate and made the entire kingdom their playground in the meantime.

Next and last for this post, Eternal Sugar Cookie! Also very easy, her new virtue is serenity! Eternal Sugar gave me HEAVY fallen angel vibes, although interestingly enough she gave me Greek vibes as well. Their territory is definitely some version of the Garden of Eden, what with the paradise name and seraphim wings and all. They feel like Mystic Flour's exact opposite, and while Mystic Flour tries to free everyone from all desires, Eternal Sugar seems like the type to indulgence in ALL of them and encourage pleasure over everything else.

So how do we make them into an ancient hero? Since serenity is a state of peace, perhaps they find it by complete accident. Maybe they start out as their usual slothful self but they don't find satisfaction, so she goes on some quest of self discovery and finds the way to peace or something like that. You know those relaxation gardens that people make in their backyards with the koi fish and the bonsai? Sugar's area feels like it would have that vibe, hidden away from most people.

And I think that's it. The next and probably final post is about everyone's new favorite gay ship! And they're very tricky. Again, sorry this took so long, I was running on empty for a WHILE. Hope you enjoy!

[steddieas-shegoes]

This was a request from @lilonsnitch which is what started me opening up requests. This is the only request I’m posting for now because I had already done some of it, so this was just a quick thing. I HOPE YOU LOVE IT ❤️

Modern Migraine Steve / Part 2

Steve was having a no good, very bad day.

It started fine. Great, even.

He woke up in Eddie’s arms, he showered in Eddie’s arms, he even ate breakfast in Eddie’s arms.

When he left Eddie’s arms is when shit went downhill fast.

He had a dentist appointment he’d been putting off for months. Nothing major, just a cavity that needed filling.

The excessive drilling must have sent signals to his brain to render him useless, though. His head was pounding, and he knew within the next hour, he’d need to be in a dark room with no noise.

But he had work. And he missed a day last week because of a migraine.

It’s not that he was worried about money. Eddie seemed to have plenty, and no matter what Steve did, he rarely let him pay for anything.

But he liked his job. He liked his coworkers for the most part.

He liked having something to do.

But he knew there was no way he could work if this headache turned into a migraine, and statistically it would, though he was never good at statistics in high school.

So he drove back home, pissed off and in enough pain to want to cry already.

Eddie was sitting at the desk in the office when Steve walked in the back entrance to the bar, texting back and forth with someone furiously.

Steve wordlessly walked over to him, pushed him away from the desk, and sat down in his lap with his head on his shoulder.

Eddie’s arms wrapped around him and Steve felt himself relax.

His head wasn’t magically healed, but just having Eddie there was enough for him to hold the tension off for a bit longer.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?”

“Head.”

“Should go upstairs before it gets worse, love.”

“Wanna be with you.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head before he moved his arms away for a moment, probably to check his phone again, and bring them back to rest on the small of Steve’s back.

“Amber’s sick and Carly’s got class. I might have to work the bar tonight.”

He spoke softly against the top of Steve’s head, quieter than he normally would be to make sure it didn’t bother Steve’s head too much.

Steve couldn’t quite contain the whine he let out, but Eddie quickly kissed the top of his head again and ran his fingers up and down his spine slowly to keep him relaxed.

“I’m trying to get Darren to come in, but he has his daughters this weekend.” Eddie sighed. “Let me bring you upstairs and get you settled, okay?”

Eddie had already worked four nights this week from Amber being sick and it being busier than usual. It was starting to wear on him a bit as he was usually working for most of the day in the office and receiving deliveries. Steve could tell he was stressed.

He didn’t want to add to that stress.

He pulled away, wincing at the pain shooting up his neck at the sudden movement.

“I’m okay. You work,” Steve said, standing up slowly to avoid any more shooting pains.

Eddie stood too, pulling Steve against him before he could stumble away.

“Hey. You’re not a burden, so stop thinking you are,” Eddie muttered against his temple, ending his sentence with a kiss.

It was fucking weird how he always did that. Steve was sort of worried he could read his mind, but honestly, there wasn’t much he didn’t tell him anyways.

Pretty much since the first day, the day he’d handed him water with lemon slices on the side because he could tell he had a headache, Eddie just knew him. Inside and out.

“Can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, sweetheart. But I’m here.”

Like that was simple. Like Steve was used to it.

Even six months into their relationship he wasn’t.

Some mornings he woke up in bed alone and thought Eddie had finally come to his senses, completely forgetting that he was in Eddie’s bed, in Eddie’s apartment, in Eddie’s bar.

Some nights when Eddie had to work the bar, he was convinced he would come home and kick him out.

He had no reason for thinking these things; Eddie was incredible.

He was patient and caring and loving and kind. He was perfect.

But Steve had doubts, especially when he had migraines and Eddie had to take care of him.

Eddie started to lead him away from the desk and towards the stairs that led to the apartment.

Every step felt jarring, his head pounding along when his feet hit the steps.

When they made it into the apartment, Eddie picked him up and carried him to the bedroom, ignoring Steve’s protests.

He set him down on the bed gently, kissing his forehead and quickly leaving to follow the routine: water, ice pack, pills. Later: hot shower, head massage, sleep.

It was second nature to them both now, and Steve was grateful even if he was worried that he was too needy like this.

When Eddie had him tucked into bed, ice pack covering his head and water within reach, he leaned down to place a kiss to his lips.

“Love you. Text me if you need me,” Eddie whispered against his mouth.

“Mkay,” Steve said around a yawn.

He knew he’d wake up to soft kisses from Eddie, arms under his neck and legs to carry him to the bathroom for a hot shower. He knew Eddie would wash his hair, gently scratching his scalp to ease some of the pain. He knew Eddie would dry him off, dress him in his comfy clothes, and tuck him back into bed, curling around him to keep him safe.

He knew Eddie would do all of that because no one had ever loved Steve the way Eddie did.

(I did technically have a tag list for if this ‘verse ever got continued so here you go  @urallidjits @eddiemunsonswife)

[harveyguilleniconodelamoda]

i've noticed that harvey tends to go for wide leg pants for 'fancy' occasions and i wish he wouldn't

I honestly can't relate, Anon! He looks so fucking good in a wide-leg pant. That silhouette works soooo well on him, he's so gorgeous and present and powerful!

But like...I get it. We all have our preferences when it comes to clothing! Style is intensely personal. So if you don't favor a wide-leg pant, that's fine! You do you. He also rocks a skinny or tapered-leg pant at a lot of events, and looks amazing there, too! But I'd like to take this opportunity to talk a bit about why I absolutely love the wide-leg pant look.

Comfort

A wide-leg pant is just damn comfy, in my opinion. The ease of movement, the air between the fabric and your skin allowing it to breathe. It's just comfy! Comfort only helps with confidence, and as we know...confidence is the single must-have ingredient that will make or break any outfit. Even more so, I'd imagine, when you're under bright lights with a hundred cameras pointed at you!

Legs for days

This is somewhat dependent on the waistline and hemline, but I think Harvey and his stylist(s) have that down. A wide-leg pant can really elongate your legs, which is great for looks where you want to emphasize your sense of presence (like, say, when representing yourself and your work on the red carpet). It also just looks very cool in motion!

Taking up space

Fashion can be used to emphasize features, change proportions, project a certain shape or image...and in general, I think that's fine. But the vast majority of fashion advice for plus sized people for decades has been centered around how to make ourselves appear smaller, as if we can become thin via the power of optical illusion. We're supposed to stay away from anything too eye-catching, anything too big or attention-getting. We can't (according to conventional wisdom) wear anything too tight, or too bright, or too loud, or too big.

No slouchy or oversized styles, wide-leg pants, big sleeves, sparkles, bright colors, loud patterns, billowy capes, bows, etc...anything with excess fabric, especially. These are all things we're often told to stay away from as plus sized people because it'll make us "look bigger." And the subtext of that in a fatphobic society, of course, is that we're already unacceptably large and should want to minimize that as much as possible. Like we have to apologize just for existing.

WelI, I say fuck that. The thing that finally made me feel good in my body? When I stopped trying to take up less space and make myself small. It wasn't doing me any favors. It just looked--and felt--like I was trying to hide. Because I was!

And apparently, Harvey shares at least some of that sentiment! He embraces all of those "forbidden" things and always looks fabulous doing so! He takes up space. He draws attention to himself. He is a presence that cannot be ignored, instead of fading into the background and radiating apologies for his size. He doesn't need to apologize. His size is a gift and he's beautiful.

Anyway...those are my thoughts. To close, have some photos of Harvey in wide-leg pants over the years, looking gorgeous and taking up space.

[harvesti]

hey, i've been trying to recover from an eating disorder since the start of the year. i know that it's not an easy process - and the fact that i gained every number that i lost makes me crazy, but i'm really trying very hard to disconnect myself from that -, but, sometimes, the urge to relapse drives me insane.

something that really makes me mad is the feeling of guilt and the feeling that i spent years of my life (my ed is not recent) focused on something that i simply threw away with months of binge.

anyways, i need, and have, to improve my relationship with exercises. the thing is: or i do too much, or i don't do anything at all. i can't find a middle term and if i don't do, i always feel bad and ashamed, even if i like to do some things like pilates and cardio, my beloved ones, i just can't. i like to do some sports too, like tennis, but i don't have anyone to play with me (it makes me sad 😵‍💫)

do u have any tips abt that? love ur blog 💕

I think the big problem is that you don't fully comprehend what disordered eating is. starving and binging are both disordered eating, and if you're truly binging for months like you said, then you haven't been in recovery, you just changed how your disordered eating manifests. gaining weight after long periods of starvation is not necessarily recovery from an eating disorder. you're still speaking of disordered eating in terms of gaining or losing weight as if an eating disorder is a method, not a disease. you get what I'm saying?

a few things to understand here: starving yourself completely changes how your body reacts to food. when you're starving, your body will slow your metabolism drastically and hold onto every possible ounce of energy it can, meaning it will actually store more fat. the human body didn't evolve to lose fat, but to keep it, because the human body doesn't care about looking like the current beauty standard, it only cares about having enough energy to function and keep on living. not feeding your body enough energy will only send it a signal that you're not accessing enough food, and that in order to survive, it'll have to change how it spends energy.

but as soon as you start to eat normally, the body will hold onto that energy source with all the strength it has. that's why it's unsustainable to keep starving to lose weight in the long run: the body will do anything it can to get those calories, especially inducing you to eat a lot if it feels like a lot of food is available. that's why so many people go through the cycle of starving for a while, then binging, then starving, then binging. the body doesn't care about our desire to look thin. it's not built for that. so you're treating yourself poorly by saying that you "threw away" your weight loss by binging when in reality there was little that you could've done to avoid it other than forcing yourself to starve your way to a painful, early death. you need to comprehend the human body better.

another point that I think you don't understand is that exercise is not a weight loss method. I've posted about this earlier too. exercise doesn't make us burn more calories or burn fat faster, and especially not with sudden bursts of excessive exercise followed by no exercise at all. frequent moderate exercise helps maintain weight, it is essential to a myriad of bodily functions that help in, among many things, avoiding weight gain, and it definitely is the way to keep the muscles toned and lean, but the way to lose weight and use fat reserves is through a moderate and smart diet. not starving and definitely not overeating, but providing the body with what it needs, without fear or stress involved. this is another part of the human body that I don't think you understand yet.

but like I said yesterday, I believe that eating disorders are just one of the ways we manifest a lack of self-trust and lack of feeling safety in our lives. I think your case is definitely one of looking for control, because there is a feeling of structure that comes with punishing oneself, either by excesses or restrictions. you're basically keeping yourself on a leash, and whenever you feel like you need to pull on it, you do. but the feeling of control through punishment is only temporary because it inevitably comes with the consequence of shame, and shame is a paralysis agent. you can't be in control of anything when you're paralyzed, so you sound the alarm again and pull on the leash even tighter, and the vicious cycle goes on.

I believe that by understanding your body better and also by finding out why you're manifesting your issues through disordered eating and self-harm, you'll be able to slowly but surely find new, healthy and sustainable ways to feel safe and in control of yourself. but that part is all on you, only you can figure it out. 🩷

[borninwinter81]

DIY budget cyber/industrial outfit - first time in public!

I made a couple of previous posts about this dress here and here, as well as the matching collar, and I thought it would be fun to show how I styled it when I wore it for the first time on Friday. Honestly I was a little concerned it would just look dumb, but when I tried it with the full makeup and shoes I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked it.

Apologies for the abysmal photo quality, especially in the first image. I don't have a good camera and I wanted to try and show the full outfit. That blurred mirror selfie is the only head to toe picture I got.

I didn't mention in my other posts but in addition to making patches for the dress I also nipped in the seams so it fit me better (it was my size but kinda shapeless, and I wanted to give myself a waist). This is very easy to do with almost any dress, skirt or top, you just put the garment on inside out, pinch in the side seams so they fit the contours of your body (try and do this equally on both sides) and pin them together. Safety pins are best so you don't accidentally hurt yourself.

Take the garment off and draw a smooth line with tailors chalk connecting all the pins, then sew along that line, either with a machine or by hand. Turn right side out and try it on again. Provided you're happy with the fit, trim away the excess fabric. You may need to be careful if it's a fabric that could fray - I usually go over the seams again with a zig-zag machine stitch to try and minimise this. There are also products you can buy like fray-check. If in doubt, or there isn't much excess fabric you could just leave the seams untrimmed.

The length is a little out of my comfort zone so I wore gym shorts underneath to help myself feel less exposed and reduce the risk of flashing - I tend to do this with any dress or skirt that's above the knee anyway.

Continuing the budget theme, rather than buying any new accessories (again, cyber stuff is mega expensive) I looked through my wardrobe for items I already had that might work.

These goggles are not the usual kind of cyber goggles, but they matched everything else I was wearing. I was given them by a friend who was getting rid of them ages ago so they cost me nothing!

I really didn't feel like making and wearing cyberlox, so instead I just got some yellow hair elastics and did a ponytail.

I made these arm warmers about 12 years ago. You can probably tell that they began life as a pair of skinny jeans. To cut down on the amount of sewing I needed to do I used the existing hem and seams. After cutting them to a length I liked I did the pinch and pin thing to make them fit to my arm, and put in zips along the outer seam to make them easier to put on. As it turned out this wasn't necessary because the fabric is stretchy enough that I can pull them on and off. The zips add a nice bit of visual interest though.

I ripped a hole in each one for my thumb, and I had a pack of extra large hook-and-eyes, so I sewed the "eye" parts down them and added some old bootlaces. I've never been 100% happy with this decoration, but I haven't had any inspiration on how to change them in the last 12 years.

I wanted a necklace in addition to the collar, and couldn't think of anything more appropriate than this. I originally got it for a cosplay, Vasquez from Aliens, and with the big yellow industrial loader from the end of that movie which Ripley uses to fight the Queen alien... it seemed there was kind of a connection there.

I once met Jeanette Goldstein whilst dressed as Vasquez and told her she was my childhood hero and she signed these tags, but unfortunately most of the signature has come off when I was cleaning them.

Lastly, the boots. As with any goth outfit the footwear tend to be the most expensive, particularly if you want ridiculous platform heels like these.

When it comes to footwear, I really would not recommend any alternative brand names like Killstar, Koi or similar. They're often terrible quality, the heels will snap, the soles will peel off, zips will break. In my opinion the only decent specifically alternative shoe brand are New Rock (even they're lower quality than they used to be in the 90s) and although New Rock do make heels I wouldn't wear them often enough to justify spending £200 on a pair. I prefer flats the majority of the time!

The brand of these is Funtasma, and I believe they are intended for use by pole-dancers, meaning they're decent quality and will be up to a night of dancing in a club. I took a change of shoes along with me to put on at the end of the evening but they are surprisingly comfortable for the first few hours.

I got them about 15 years ago on sale, and at that time they were around £40. Not cheap but not super expensive either, and I've definitely got my money's worth out of them. I had them re-soled once with special toughened soles that have extra grip so they're safer to walk in, but that's it. One time I even did the 3 mile walk home at 2am in 6 inches of snow wearing these because I didn't want to wait hours for a taxi (an occasion where I did not take a change of shoes!)

So, not your standard cyber outfit, but one that gives my own spin on this look (which should be the goal with any fashion style - a guideline to create something unique, not a rulebook that you have to follow 100%) and was put together super cheaply. The only new things I bought were the dress, fabric to make the patches, and a pack of multicoloured hair elastics.

[silent-stories]

Never have I ever...been in love

(Eddie Munson x F!reader)

You dangled your legs off the roof of Eddie's trailer as the sun slowly sank on the horizon, painting the sky different shades of pink and orange.

The boy sitting next to you brought the cigarette he was holding between his fingers to his mouth and blew out a cloud of smoke from his nose, which the cool but not excessively cold breeze of that evening immediately blew away.

The shirt he'd refused to put on after the shower he'd taken before going up there lay beside him, even though you'd insisted that if he didn't put on clothes he'd catch a cold, and his bare chest rose and fell as he let smoke in and out of his mouth.

"Never have I ever…hurt myself trying to be funny." You said.

You always found it fun to play that game with Eddie, every time you discovered new things about each other even though it's been several years since you've been playing it. You knew the original version probably involved alcohol but the point of hanging out with Eddie wasn't to get drunk.

The rule was to always tell the truth, as if you were using one of those lie detectors they only used on criminals you saw on TV but sometimes you found yourself wondering if Eddie had ever told you a lie during that game that maybe you had become too old for playing.

Eddie chuckled. "I bet you already know the answer."

The light from the day's last rays of sunlight reflected off his brown eyes, making them appear to be a hundred different shades of gold.

"Oh I know, but I want to hear it from you." You laughed, thinking about what had happened that morning several years ago when you were both little more than children.

"That tree was obviously unstable, it wasn't my fault!"

"That tree was unstable but you tried to climb it anyway."

"Tried? I did it!"

"Yeah and then you fell. And you broke your wrist."

"Yeah but you took good care of by me afterwards. That's when I knew I wanted to keep you."

"Wait, you wanted to keep me? I wanted to keep you so you didn't end up in other similar situations and risk your life every two days."

Eddie laughed as he stubbed out his cigarette butt on the roof of the trailer before crossing one leg under the other, the tear at the knee of the faded old jeans he'd been wearing widening slightly as he did so.

"It's your turn." You said.

"I don't know...I feel like I already know everything about you."

"Then ask me something you don't know."

He didn't say anything, as if he was carefully choosing his next question and after a few moments of silence you wondered if he had decided that the game wasn't worth playing anymore.

The birds had stopped chirping and the trailer park kids who usually played outside had gone back to their homes.

"Never have I ever...been in love."

Your head spontaneously turned to him but he was staring straight ahead, where the sun was now almost completely gone. His hair still damp from the shower clung to his neck and forehead and there hadn't been a moment since he'd stepped out of the bathroom that you hadn't repressed the urge to reach over to brush the dripping strands from his forehead.

He was pretty, and there was never a moment in your life when you didn't think it.

And you absolutely were in love, probably not from the first moment you saw him because you were too young to know what love even was.

Now you knew.

But he was your best friend.

"No" You lied, "no, I don't think so."

Eddie didn't answer, continuing to stare at an indefinite point in front of him. No funny or sarcastic comments, no jokes.

"Eddie?"

"It's your turn." He didn't turn to you.

"Never have I ever..." you thought about it for a moment, you had nothing to lose, right? "been in love."

"It's not fair. That's what I asked." He chuckled under his breath.

"I don't think there's a rule against asking the same question." You shrugged.

Eddie rolled his eyes, then stayed silent for a few moments, as if thinking about it.

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his damp curls, "still am."

You have felt a strange sensation in the pit of your stomach and in your belly. I was a weird mix of fear and hope that you couldn't quite identify.

"Do they know?" You just wanted Eddie to be happy, you didn't care if he would break your heart.

"Nah."

"Why?"

Eddie snorted. "Because she doesn't like me that way."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because she's never even been in love."

Oh

Eddie turned to you, finding your surprised expression.

"Yeah." He chuckled, his laughter was colder and less genuine than usual, "Hella embarrassing isn't it? I've been waiting for days if not months for the right moment to ask that stupid question during this game and when I finally work up the courage, she tells me she's never been in love. I almost wish you'd told me you were head over heels for that basketball player who always sits next to you at every history lesson. Someone who deserves you. But like this? You make things even more hard because every time I'm around you I can't help but think about what it would be like-"

It was a way to stop his rambling, it was a way to tell him he was wrong, it was a way to tell him you had lied for the first time during the game.

Your lips were on his and your hand was finally in his still damp hair. It was short, a few seconds and it was already as if it had never been there.

"I thought... you said..." Eddie stammered, surprised. On his lips the ghost of a smile.

"I lied. I'm sorry, I fucking lied. It's you. It's always been you."

[megumi-fm]

18 day habit tracker

since the year started, days are passing by and sure I'm doing alright and getting stuff done but lately it just. feels like I'm whiling away a lot of my time which which I could spend learning or doing a lot of things that I've kept shelved for years. I want to make better use of my days and I want to understand how to kind of... develop the intrinsic motivation to improve my productivity. additionally, I also need to do things to take better care of my help given the harsh weather and my ankle (im)mobility.

so I've decided to spend the next 18days trying to be more conscious of how I'm spending my time and also trying to push myself little by little. in this eighteen days I want to figure out what my limits are (vs what I think my limits are) and I also want to understand how to stay consistent and maintain the momentum I need to keep going. eighteen seems like a small enough number to start with; from some surface web scouring it seems like 18days is the minimum number of time it takes to develop a habit. and coincidentally enough it's my birthday in exactly 18days so it seems like a good place to start

to track

🥛 water intake ⏰ hours of sleep +sleep and wake times 📵 phone usage 🍉 fruit intake +the kind of food I'm eating in gen 📖 reading

---

personal goals

🧮 relearning math my relationship with mathematics has been quite messy since junior college and it has only worsened through the past four years of engineering(with the introduction of multivariate calculus and Laplace transforms and whatnot)... it feels kind of late and embarrassing to start now but I really want to understand math better and enjoy doing it and now is a good time to face my fear/discomfort and start over at the very basics. I'm gonna start with precalculus and linear algebra

💃 dancing I used to dance all the time as a kid and then... i don't know what happened... as a lover of kpop choreographies it's heartbreaking to realize I haven't learnt nearly as many dances as I'd have liked to. The year started off pretty strong but then my ankle got in the way and... yeah... I want to get back into dancing both as a means to improve my mobility and as a means of exercise, and also because I enjoy dancing in gen... and four to five days seems like good enough time to learn a single dance so i hope to learn the choreography of atleast 3-4 dances in these 18days

✏ art I have wanted to learn drawing for years now but for some reason I just never seem to get around to it (the 'some reason' being my impatience and inability to accept that I'm actually a beginner) but yknow what. if I'm anyway going to feel bad about how poor I am at drawing, I might as well do it while drawing poorly instead of trying to avoid it. I've decided to use this youtube playlist as my starting point

🍳 cooking for someone who is planning to live abroad and live alone I can't cook to save my life, but putting that aside, the main reason I want to cook is that a lot of my favourite regional cuisine is centered towards dishes for the winter and I want to learn to make tasty + nutritional food suitable for this summer heat without resorting to consuming excessively sugared juices and soda in copious amounts

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yeah. day1 starts today. I hope it works out. my weekly tracker and my work tracker will also be updated in parallel

[hifumi-123]

Actually, no one asked me this, I photoshopped it myself.

Anyways, here’s the

Majima with a s/o who has chubby hands:

Recently, you came across an article online titled "Beauty Starts with the Hands!" The main content suggests that all beautiful people in the world have slender, elegant hands, so you should start taking care of your hands too. The article lists several key features of beautiful hands:

First, beautiful fingers should be slender and long. Generally, a woman's hands are considered aesthetically pleasing if the ratio between fingers and palm is close to the golden ratio of 0.618.

Second, beautiful hands should be flawless. Darker coloration around the joints or noticeable hangnails around the nails can affect the overall cleanliness of the hands.

Third, beautiful hands must be fair-skinned. White and clean hands are more attractive. If the skin tone of the hands is too dark, they won't look good no matter what. So, one should pay attention to their hand's skin tone (though you think this point smacks of racial discrimination, the editor was too careless).

Fourth, beautiful hands should be hairless. If body hair is too noticeable, it will make the hands look fuzzy, obscuring the skin tone and texture. This is especially true for women with excessive body hair, which can be even more prominent and darker than men's.

These are the essential features of attractive hands.

Moreover, the article provides numerous solutions to address these issues. For longer, slender fingers, try hand massages. To remove darkness around joints, use exfoliating scrubs. For fairer hands, apply more sunscreen. To deal with body hair, use hair removal devices. With consistent care, one can achieve beautiful, attractive hands.

After reading this article, you can't help but sigh. It's not easy being a woman nowadays! Not only do you have to take care of your face and hair, but now your hands too! This whole regimen seems more exhausting than military service.

Although you want to say you don't care about your hands, the truth is—

"Ah! Why do my hands look so chubby? My fingers are short and pudgy, they look just like a baby's hands..."

Looking at your hands, you can't help but ponder. You're an adult now, theoretically a "mature woman." That's how it should be.

But why are your hands still chubby?

You always thought it was because you were overweight, but even after losing some weight recently, you noticed your hands didn't change at all. The parts that were chubby remained so. You painfully realize once again that your hands are truly not attractive. At least, they can't be considered beautiful hands.

You know that to others, this might seem like a trivial matter, not worth mentioning. When you discuss this with friends, they tell you not to worry about such unimportant things. However, hands can reflect a person's character. From the neatness of nails, presence of hangnails, or calluses on fingers, one can deduce a person's background. Beautiful hands are always well-cared for. Every time you look at your baby-like hands with calluses from gripping pens too tightly during your student days, you feel anxious and ashamed. Honestly, it's a hurdle you can't seem to overcome.

Although the article seems like an silent advertisement, it has caused you considerable anxiety. Before reading it, you never even thought about whether your hands were attractive or fair enough. Your current situation is like "not particularly caring about something, but once someone points it out, you start to become conscious of it."

After all this rambling, it boils down to:

"I want to have beautiful hands like a hand model!"

That's what it's all about.

After dinner, despite Majima's kind reminder that "lying down right after eating will turn you into a pig," you lazily sprawl on the sofa, tossing and turning. Hearing your complaints about your hands, the sound of water in the kitchen suddenly stops. Majima, who was washing dishes, dries his wet hands with a towel and says with a look of exasperation:

"Huh? I didn't know about that. There's nothing wrong with them, is there? Yer fingers are all there, all ten of them, aren't they? Isn't that enough?"

"What? Don't apply yakuza standards to me, okay?" You sit up on the sofa and reply irritably. "Normal people don't get their fingers cut off even if they make mistakes."

Majima chuckles and plops down next to you.

"Then let me see. Let this former cabaret club owner who has seen countless hands judge whether Y/n's hands are unattractive. Come on, give me yer hand," he urges, extending his own.

You place your plump hand on his palm. Compared to Majima's large, masculine hands, yours look even more childlike. Majima gently massages your hand. Whether it's because he finds it amusing or not, he always likes to knead your hand like this. He probably treats it like a squishy toy. But you don't mind, as it feels quite comfortable, almost like a massage.

"I really like Y/n's soft hands. Even if ya might not," he says softly.

You find it hard to understand why he would like these hands that are far from "beautiful." You silently look at Majima's lowered face, feeling conflicted once again. Is he saying this just to comfort you? Like how mothers always say their children are beautiful.

"Don't you wish your girlfriend had more slender and elegant hands?" you ask.

"Are ya stupid? Isn't smooth and soft very cute? Anyway, I really like yer hands. They're soft to hold, just like those things—" Majima furrows his brow, seemingly searching for the right word. "Ah, they're called Squishy, right? Yes, just like a Squishy."

He can say such embarrassing things so casually. What a strange person. You can't help but laugh, then sincerely tell him: "Although I don't really like these hands myself, if Goro likes them, then even childish hands are okay."

After receiving so much praise, you want to look at Majima's hands too. So you cup his hands and start examining them closely.

Compared to yours, his hands are much larger and more substantial. Surprisingly, Majima's nails are well-shaped and neatly trimmed, his fingers are long, and his knuckles are prominent. You could say they are very typical "man's hands." It's unfair that even his hands are so handsome. Perhaps because he usually wears leather gloves, his hands don't have many calluses, and even though he often holds knives when fighting, his palms are still smooth.

"Hmm..." you pretend to ponder, "According to the essential features of beautiful hands, you have a pair of beautiful hands."

Majima laughs, clutching his stomach, then wipes tears from the corner of his eye. "Is that so?" he says, "Then it seems I'm more suited to be the girlfriend."

"Alright then, you can be the girlfriend," you joke, "I'll call you Goromi from now on."

Majima shakes his head and sighs, "That name is too corny. If we have children in the future, ya can't give them such tacky names, okay?"

Hearing his words, you feel your cheeks warming up. You turn your head away, deliberately not looking at him, "I'm ignoring you now. I'm going to take a bath."

"Wanna bathe together?" he asks, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips.

You know well that if you agree to his invitation now, Majima will definitely wear you out before letting you leave. You've experienced this firsthand several times before, so you quickly get up from the sofa.

"No need, I can wash myself!"

You walk into the bathroom with agility completely different from your previous lazy attitude, hearing Majima's cheerful laughter coming from the living room.

Once my friend mentioned that my head is quite large, I began to realize how big it actually is. But before that, I never thought there was an issue with my head at all. Recently, I came across discussions online about protruding mouths, and only then did I notice that my own mouth is a bit protruding. I even entertained the idea of getting braces, but I found out that just wearing them wouldn't fix the issue. I would have to undergo a jaw surgery to correct the protrusion. So, I abandoned the idea since this problem doesn't affect my ability to enjoy food.

I feel like a lot of appearance anxieties stem from others' opinions. I believe it's not worth paying too much attention to what they say. Instead of changing yourself to fit other people's standards of beauty, it's better to learn to accept yourself first. After all, no matter how perfect you are, others will always find flaws in you.

Can’t believe that I said something this profound

[reverseflashes]

Hello!

I’m trying to write a story or at least a short one. Where Constantine and Raven cross paths with the Rogues. I have a pretty good idea for it but even though I’ve read comics. I still don’t fully understand them I need an idea about there personality and fighting style. I’m hoping that with your help and a few other Rogue fans. I can get a better idea. Cause finding proper information is like finding a needle in a haystack for them. Constantine is literally the easiest out of all of them.😭

I really hope for good information. I want to do right by them.🥺

Anyway my chosen Rogue’s are… Captain Cold, Heatwave, Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Captain Boomerang and Trickster (Axel Walker).

Basically the ones in comics right now.

P.S. I’m also mad about Owen. He had so much potential.

Every time I checked my inbox and saw this meage on top, I reminded myself to answer it some time the same day. And every time, I forgot. I don't even know where to begin to apologize, nonnie, especially it's been exactly a month since you've sent me this. I hope, if you are still around, and if you see this, you can forgive me. And if you are pissed at me, then you are completely right too I'M SO SORRY I SWEAR

To be honest, I can read every issue every Rogues member has ever appeared in (and for some members, I did lol) and still would not be good at answering questions like this. I'll tag few blogs I know post about the Rogues at the end of my response and tag this properly so that more people will see it and hopefully share their opinions as well. :)

I apologize in advance if this is very scattered, all over the place but I've never been very good at explaining stuff like this so... yeah.

I'm assuming the fight takes between John&Raven and the Rogues.

The Rogues are Flash's villains. And Flash has superspeed; and having superspeed comes with infinite amount of skills and abilities. There is really nothing a speedster can't do. So how does the Rogues, a bunch of non-powered criminals (except for Mark, if we want to go into a bit detail lol) with only their gadgets and costumes keep up with him? How can a speedster like Barry Allen can struggle against the Rogues sometimes?

The answer is that the Rogues have the advantage of planning their heists in advance. Excessive planning, may I add! Rogues don't have to keep up with Flash's whereabouts, because Flash will always go where the Rogues exactly want him. But the Flash doesn't have the advantage of always anticipating the Rogues' next move. There are so many other reasons of course but no need to go into more details. So, in your story, whether the Rogues plans the fight with John and Raven ahead or if it occurs completely spontaneous, I believe the Rogues wouldn't be caught off guard. I mean, they fight speedsters on a weekly basis, so it is hard for them to get intimitated by anyone else.

Now another thing, and I don't know if it's just me or if it is a fandom thing, but I always got the impression that Rogues hate magic. Like I always believed that to be a fact. They don't like it at all. Maybe "superpowers" is what they really don't like but I guess, to them, it's all the same.

Len in The Flash #750

Rogues don't want to get involved in anything that is above their paygrade. They hate their plans getting out of control and things getting messy and magic IS messy, that is an understatement. So you can use this in the story; they will fight John and Raven if they have to, but they won't care about winning. Of course, they CAN win the fight, but if you use the canon fact that the Rogues never faced John and Raven before in your story, then I assume winning wouldn't be their priority. They'll buy themselves time while putting the capes through their paces (damn right 😎).

You can focus on the Rogues' gadgets as well. In my personal opinion, Mirror Gun is the most powerful and dangerous out of all of them: it can open portals, it can create duplicates, it can fire bolts of light energy, IT CAN HYPNOTIZE AND MIND CONTROL PEOPLE, it can be used to transmute objects into glass, it can be used for dimensional travel, it can trap people inside those mirror dimensions etc... (SOURCES: here and here)

Here is a panel of Sam blinding Wonder Woman with his Mirror Gun. Justice League America #158

I put this panel especially because Wonder Woman is heavily affiliated with magic.

You can find more info on their gadgets on the internet, and if you'd like, I can look into it and send you some links if I can find anything.

I was gonna mention Hartley and his flute too but I realized that he isn't in the Rogues in your story so I'll skip that.

And lastly, I'd recommend you read New Year's Evil: Rogues, a one-shot where the Rogues are in the land of Zhutan searching for a powerful sun disk of Meshta (the creator god of the Saravistraism- DC’s version of Zoroastrianism) to make their souls eternally free from Neron (DC’s version of Satan). It involves heavy supernatural themes so maybe it helps.

Also, Teen Titans: Cold Case might be a good read. There is a fight between Teen Titans and the Rogues and although magic isn't in the center, Rogues fight against members Cyborg, Red Devil and Wonder Girl (Cassie). (And Vic and Tim actually admit that they couldn't take the Rogues!)

And most importantly, they fight as a TEAM and a FAMILY. Their diverse skills and abilities complete each other, thanks years of working and planning and fighting together side by side.

Soooo yeah. I'm pretty sure I forgot half the things I was gonna add and forty thousand anecdotes but that's why I'll tag some of the awesome people in the Rogues fandom underneath this so that they can add their own opinions as well. If they want, of course, no pressure! Please feel free to ignore this.

Thank you so very very very much for your message nonnie. And I'm so so so very sorry for taking so long to answer it. I hope I made it up to you a little.

@gorogues @tricksterrune @t-bombs @longitudinalwaveme @belphegor1982 @saltywithsarcasm @smartshipfriday my brain is all over the place rn i can't think of anyone else but if you see this in the search or on your dash pls feel free to reblog it and share your opinions <33