this is what my little mental breakdowns feel like
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do you think kaiser stumbled across the description of narcissistic personality disorder and thought "damn that's crazy" then moved on
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tbh as someone with bpd, the way people talk abt fitz makes me feel physically ill like wdym youre inherently toxic because you idolize certain people wdym youre evil because of mere thought patterns wdym there must be no reason for you to be this way youre just a bad person wdym you’re undeserving of love and literally being alive because you feel emotions really strongly
(the issue is that they take these traits he inherently has and says he’s toxic for stuff he can’t control it’s never his behaviors and if it is they blow it way out of proportion??)
also hi don’t use narcissistic psychopath sociopath etc as descriptors for yes even the villains (this part of the post isn’t meant to be really mean, ik that language is normalized but yeah let’s not use mental health language and/or outdated terms in a stigmatizing manner!)
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i'm so sick every time i go off of tumblr and there's people who can't wrap their head around the fact violet was brainwashed and was likely having a (bpd) episode on the boat.
all while ignoring the fact that??? she tried to apologize?? right there??? when the boat was still on fire???
anyway so here's the freakin essay i wrote solely because people keep doing this. i had the urge to write it again but. oh wait. i already did??
hm.
>:(
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i'm on the black if i pot this (3479 words) by channaro
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunter X Hunter
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Illumi Zoldyck
I'll smolder and fold you entirely in two
Just to holster a wholesome little darling like you
A cold comfort is better than a scolding hot truth
But I told you I'd never web a lie around you and I meant it
Illumi gets his Spider tattoo in the dingy crevice passing for the Troupe's base of operations. Chrollo fucks him on the floor before the ink has even dried.
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Brb going insane over the implications of Harry putting the ones he cares about on such a high pedestal that he basically deifies them in his head. From comparing his ex to Dolores Dei (who has literal churches dedicated to her and is basically this world's version of Jesus) to Kim having a halo behind his head from Harry's POV...
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bpd is super cool and fun bc if i am attached to someone and they like someone else more than me, i either:
resent the person i have never met (bc they're better than me)
resent the person i am attached to (bc they don't like me more)
OR
resent myself (for not being good enough)
and it usually happens bc the other person has a fucking romantic interest in the person they "like more". fam i do not even want that with you why am i acting like it's a competition
it also happens with best friends though. like. why does my little pea brain think i need to be the ~best friend~ of everyone i latch onto like a parasitic worm. that's too many people i can't be a best friend every time
and on one memorable occasion, i felt it about a FUCKING CAT, which is all new levels of pathetic (me and the cat became friends though)
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I have a part of a song that makes me sad stuck in my head because my brain is Mean (and apparently also officially has OCD- wild thing I found out today!) So I am going to think about soft things with Toshi to comfort myself until I can get some sleep. I start a new job tomorrow tho so I'm procrastinating on that particular thing dkdnskg
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what rhr fuck I also have bpd and I call my moments dahlia hawthorne moments....
- lanamia girlgiy yknow the one
1) iconic of you 2) ace attorney characters are so easy to project your mental illness on istg. the games should be required reading for psych students /j
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