#ao3 is down so I outlined instead

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I finally finished the full chapter outline of Daughter of the Rain and Snow! Pleased but in a weird way teeny bit sad; this number is not set in stone because I reserve the right to turn things on their head at the drop of a hat but as it stands we only have 21 chapters to go omg we’re so close to the end now when did this happen

[anantaru]

DAY 11 — BREEDING

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

𖧡 — including — wriothesley, zhongli, thoma, ayato

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, breeding, hitting it raw, established relationship, lots of cum & making a mess, taking about starting a family, a little baby fever, praise kink, petnames used: princess, baby, cute boys & feral boys, love sick genshin men

𖧡 — WRIOTHESLEY

wriothesley's trace was slow on you, on the other hand it was also precise, as if he was wholly sure on where he was supposed to touch you.

at the end of the day, it was him and he was aware on what would please you— certainly it's over his logical thoughts and his body moves on its own when he digs his fingertips into your hips to push into you strongly, a hazy grin brilliantly touching up his soft lips when you curve one hand around his neck, forcing your eyes to meet. his arms hold your legs apart consistently, sending charged shivers hastening from your quivering thighs to your sloppy sex.

how utterly perfect you were to him and how unbelievably well he could snug himself inside your dripping pussy— you're driving wriothesley insane, you better keep that in mind, and the way your walls were narrowing down on his thick shaft, almost tasting just like a warm peck of your soft lips worshipping his skin.

and with no punches pulled, wriothesley wonders if you're real sometimes, it's truly frightening that he cannot resist you. mainly when he ghosts his thumb over your perspiring skin, idly contouring the outlines of your curves and smiling when you puff out a needful whimper because of him. other than that, he doesn't move slowly when it came to his hips, and his hands? well, they're ruthless, way beyond recovering, exploring your body when his painfully hard cock snaps forward— you're almost there and so was he, feeling it wide in your belly, pulling the coil in your stomach and soon after he chases more of his relief, unable to keep his hips still, he tastes the shivers of an impending orgasm like a vibrating, electric current weighting around the hardened outline of his length.

"—wanted this for so long." his way of wording was slurred despite his clear intention to confess his desperation, and you're clearly unsure on what exactly wriothesley meant by that— needless to say there were conversations in the past that revolved around dodging the condom for a while, so he could penetrate you raw and reach the warmest, most delicious sweet spots on your walls without the thin plastic ultimately separating you two.

but instead of asking him for a better explanation, you reach out to touch him and mouth wet kisses over his neck before whining when he spreads your thighs further apart to watch how the filthy blend of your arousal and his milky whites dribble out of your hole, your used slit drawing more of it out each flutter— so, wriothesley does what he believes was the most proper way to handle such situation and immediately shuts his dripping dick back into your core, your mouth going dry by the unexpected intrusion as he kisses your forehead with a soft laugh, sending a ripple of heat to your stuffed cunt while tracing the patterns of your walls with his pink cock head.

it's cute, when he kisses your forehead again before continuing his sentence from earlier, "i dream about this constantly." a low, rumbling heave breaks into your ear all hotly and wet, "to feel you, baby, fuck— for real this time." as you peer up at him— he looks like your cunt just sent him to heaven, his thrusts sloppier than before but imbedded with more passion.

they're purposeful, tensed and slobbering all over your cum-stricken walls— he's giving you his all, holding you still while pushing his cock deeper only for you to clench down again, almost bringing him to tears by how eagerly you were responding and how desperate you fluttered around his shaft, almost strong enough to push him out again, your sensitive pussy so responsive, and deliberately letting his cock feel the warmness of your insides.

𖧡 — ZHONGLI

under the homely protection of zhongli's weight on top of you, he greedily pumps his thick shaft in and out of your cunt, attempting to shift his hips a little so he could trace his cock head even better, more so finer into your walls that the intense precision of it stole the air off your lungs.

the passionate noises expelled by your bodies graze against the shell of your ears, the wet, smacking plunges burgeoning at every following thrust as zhongli twists his large palms around your knees with the force of his bodily strength before pressing them towards your chest, your complete frame now folded in half, your dripping cunt on full display and fuck, you're so damn tighter this way— and your precious husbands eyes edged on to the brink of swelling with translucent crystallines due to how unbelievably constricted your tiny hole got just when he sunk back inside, seeking out more.

pushing his tip through your pussy, he roams over your silken walls lingering on his shaft, the small oozes of your arousal and his cum spitting and drooling all over his dick as he rams it back into you, so he could claim you, dwell on top of the correct spot, so he could scatter his load all over your insides, his balls slapping against your flesh. zhongli doesn't give you time to breathe, leisurely fucking you through your helpless whines, puffed out hiccups of zhongli, zhongli, touching the depths of his heart as you coax a breathy chuckle from his throat— you're so fucking adorable when he gets you to that point of wobbly trembles taking over your frame, your half-broken sobs sealing the cracks of his soul.

zhongli likes to dwell on the thought of starting a family with you, his cute darling loving him and yearning for his body— it had always persisted through his consciousness whilst playing small fantasies on repeat. truly, it was difficult to hold himself back in bed, taken into consideration just how strong zhongli was, and he genuinely does try his best to not go beyond feral on you, holding himself back when he lastly drips his creamy cum down to your battered walls, your head lolling back and digging into the disheveled pillows as your mind breaks in shambles.

in spite of that, he gives you what your body shamelessly yearned for, his bangs sticking on his wet forehead as zhongli continues to paint your sloppy pussy and plaster his cum all over you, dragging his hard shaft over a sensitive patch on your responsive flesh. suddenly— you make a mistake and cry into his neck, whilst unbeknownst to you, you're turning him on again immediately, his cheeks inked in redness, his lips curved up, his eyes widening with a light bead of sweat forming just above his brow bone.

𖧡 — THOMA

this was, without a doubt, the furthest you have ever gone with thoma this eventful night— and you cannot help the perpetual twitches of your body before you pant out a passionate cry, so blissful that it brought you to tears when he cums inside of you again— with a low, deep rumble of your name coming undone, a feral noise coruscating through your delicate shape with how impossibly intense and hot it was.

his white, creamy seed sowed a blistering hot spot on your inflamed cunt as his sticky load easily slips into you and overflows the deepest depths of your pussy, messily bubbling out instantly before thoma swiftly crowds it back into you— your fists trembling against your body when his cock messily slaps at your cunt.

but do not be mistaken, because his muscled arms won't move away from you, even after cumming large and hot, he keeps his hips steady at all times whilst slowly rutting in and out, in and out before lifting up one of your leg to settle it on top of his shoulder, coaxing minuscule effects of overstimulation on your throbbing pussy.

"fuck— i can't wait." thoma suddenly whispers at you, his lips leaving wet manifestations on your cheek before grabbing onto the swell of your breast with his palm, all the while forcing his thudding cock back into your poor cunt, your clit twitching in anticipation to climax once again. "i really can't want to start a family with you."

in a way, you could state that thoma meant it in a literal sense, because the split moment after spelling his words out for you to hear, he does not waste a single, more second before ramming you into a feverish daze— and he thinks it's adorable when all you can do is whine in response, your hips steadily moving up to receive his blows as you corner his neck with your trembling arms, your lips mouthing hasty please, please, please, and more, more, more, as a pearl of sweat forms on your forehead.

you clench so tight around him now, thoma thought he's about to break under the pressure you put him through— despite that being utterly determined to make this work flawlessly, prolonging your lust when he reaches down to your clit and flicks one calloused finger over the bristling bundle of pleasure, pending between rubbing rough circles over your inflamed nerves and nudging his fat cockhead inside your cunt walls, his balls straining from the heaviness of his milky whites when he once again— nuzzles his face inside your neck and noses over the familiar scent of your wet skin before shooting his full load into your tight pussy, his abs hot and red, flexing with the ridges imbedded in sweat.

thoma just loves his little sweetheart so much, and he'd never deny any requests you'd throw at him— and the moment he comes back from his strong high that made his heart almost burst out of his chest, he nips at your bottom lip all sweetly, his hands a little shaky, closing around your frame;

"i just love you so much, ‘can't wait to start a family with you."

𖧡 — AYATO

your husband ayato was, in his untouched eminence, a kind man— compassionate and affectionate, and he works hard at his job to provide for his family, adores spoiling you and treasures your precious frame, as if it's the most delicate, most exquisite diamond in the world.

most importantly and beyond anybodys imagination, the yashiro commissioner likes to reveal a side of him, that he believes needs to devour you entirely;

"so tight, fuck!" he curses through a tensed jaw when he fucks you, and your ayato always made it his duty to tell you just how he was feeling because of you— what kind of pleasure he was experiences, how his soft, kissable lips touched up into a hazy smirk when you peer up at him, "i crave you, princess." he whispers again, your moans energizing him to hit all inside you, splitting you effortlessly with the thickness of his shaft reaches places.

it's quite easy for him, and he fills every last inch of your pussy that it overcrowds you and you start to believe that if you were to push down on your stomach right now, that you could actually feel him brush in and out.

another experimental thrust and you greedily squeeze up around him as he makes you swallow around his cock, gaping down before admiring just how fucking sinful it looked disappearing in your sloppy pussy— a ring of pearly whites presented around his shaft, almost like you're claiming him that particular way, the film of your arousal sticky and spilling all over his stiffened erection.

"w-where do you want me?" ayato leans over to mouth a kiss on your cheek before whispering wetly into your ear, hoping you are still able to respond despite looking like a hot mess by now— your legs quivering and on the brink of giving up on you if it wasn't for him strictly keeping them apart;

"inside..." you babble incoherently, inside, inside, inside, gasping, when he observes you struggling to properly take the fullness of his cock even though he had prepared you properly beforehand, his muscled arms looked against you before he drums his erection back and forth, your cunt creamed up and ready to take another one of his load.

"fuck— you don't even know how much i wanted you to say this." he confesses, the soft sounds of your cunt suckling him in appear like the finest music to his ears— and your body arches up into his chest, twisting slightly under him as you listen to a deep groan fall from his lips.

you whine, overstimulated, and squirm under the towering touch of his body when he obliges to your pleas, your bedroom feeling oppressively hot as he fills you at last, the trace alone, fuck, the warm feeling of ayato filling you with his seed made your head spin and rewire— he was so big, so hard and he just felt so good throbbing angrily inside of you.

his balls drip with your arousal and his cum, there was just so much of it that it made you dizzy, an aching pulse on your wet sex pawing its way through your sensitive places, your body jolting heavy while grinding on his hips, his dick sinking and bulging constricted around your insides, mouth agape and whining out a silent scream.

it took your breath away, truly, and now it’s silent and everything else stood still, only your foreheads pressed against one another, the room humid and smelling of lewdness and filth— but it's comforting in a way, and ayato’s hand drums up to your bare side, inches his way all up to your soft cheek before pushing you against his mouth with the same intensity as he was handling your pussy earlier, squeezing the air from your lungs, suffocating you with sweet nothings and praises, new confessions and small fantasies of breeding you once more.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[angeygirl]

Wait, are you telling me I can just... let the fic develop naturally and use each scene as basis for the next? If outlining isn't my style then I can make note of a few important parts and guide the story in that direction? I don't need to characters to be overly complicated if I can't figure out how to make them so?

Huh, nifty

[zanarkandskylines]

Hiii omg I love your writings so much!!

May i request texting katsuki while reader is drunk in a bar (maybe bc reader just broke up with her previous boyfriend or sth. It’s up to you but please make it spicy 🔥) (also 18+ please 🥹)

ohhhh the things swirling in my head about this!!! thank you for the request nonnie & hope it delivers! 💜

on the rocks

『 ♡ 』  k.bakugo x fem!reader ꒰ pro-hero au | age 24 | friends to fwb ꒱ ⇢ your week couldn’t get any worse. between a screw up at work and getting dumped out of the blue, you needed to desperately let off some steam. thank goodness the girls were more than happy to take you out for the night in the city and spoil you with a good time. everything’s fine until you receive a text that spirals into an unpredicted hookup.

꒰ tags & warnings ꒱ 18+ MDNI mentions of alcohol, mild/implied smut, suggestive texting, friends to friends with benefits, heavy flirting, sexually comfortable reader, reader went through a break-up, soft bakugo, fluffy ꒰ cross posted to ao3 | wc; ~2.6k ꒱ -`✧ katsuki bakugo masterlist

The bartender hands you the drink you ordered, nodding a thanks when you smile at her. You’re not drunk, per se, but you’re definitely buzzed - that warm and fuzzy feeling dancing through your veins, letting you relax for the first time all week. Tonight's goal was to think about absolutely nothing, to let go of all the shit weighing on your shoulders. Even if it's just for one night, anything to shake away the pain you've been carrying.

But the alcohol seems to be betraying you, forcibly shoving those thoughts to the forefront of your mind instead of burying them.

Memories of your ex begin to haunt you as your mind wanders aimlessly, the dam bursting that was keeping it all at bay. You try and shake your head to rid yourself of the feelings, but they just wouldn’t go away.

God, fuck him and every false promise he made to you.

Some people would consider three months a short amount of time, but to you, it felt like an eternity. He seemed so sweet, caring and kind when you first met, but once he forcibly ripped off your rose-colored glasses? He was nothing but a walking pile of shit.

Suddenly, your phone dings on the bar, lighting up to show a text message notification.

'Who the fuck is texting me so late?'

You blink a few times, re-reading the contact name before it registers: Katsuki Bakugo.

That's rather...odd. He's notorious for going to bed by 9pm - it’s almost midnight. You two were friends, sure, but never the 'text you in the middle of the night' type of friends. Curious to know what he wanted, you open the text to reveal nothing but a picture. When you squint through your hazy vision, you realize just what you're looking at.

It's a picture of Bakugo from the neck down, laying on his bed in nothing but grey sweats that are tugged down and nestled at the bottom of his hip bones. The pose accentuates the delicious deep V below his abs and shows the blonde trail disappearing underneath the hem of his sweatpants. The shadows trace each well-earned muscle, perfectly outlining them in the dim light of his bedroom.

Was this meant for you? Did he send it to you by accident? Your mind goes blank, stopping your previous train of thought about your stupid ex.

���did he send it to you on purpose? Your core pulses at the thought, causing you to cross your legs defensively.

Right on queue, another text pops up, your phone vibrating in your hands.

[katsuki] fuck, sorry. that was an accident

That was a bold face fucking lie, and you knew it. Bakugo's not that stupid to send the wrong text by mistake, especially a selfie. There's no way in hell he would even take a picture like that for someone unless he wanted it to be seen.

Liquid courage does you a favor when you reply, loosely teasing him about it.

[you] damn, katsuki. who's the lucky girl?

You don't notice Mina approaching you with how intently you're staring at your phone screen, startling you when she taps your shoulder.

"What are ya doing over here?! Come dance with us!" she pleads, pulling on your arm. She notices how you're clutching your phone like a lifeline and the coral tint on your cheeks. She quirks an eyebrow at you. "Who are you texting?"

Oh god, find a lie - fast! She'll see right through your facade if you don't.

"No one, just a spam text."

Mina stares at you - shit, she knows you're lying.

"You're a shit liar, babe. Who is it?"

"I got a random text from Katsuki," you admit, the flush in your cheeks deepening at his name. Are you into him, or is it the alcohol in your system? It's no secret that he's attractive, he's always been effortlessly handsome. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't checked him out a few times, but never acted on it. The two of you were friends and you’d assumed he didn't think much else of you.

Mina grabs the phone from your hands, entering in your passcode (how did she know it?!) and reading the texts. Her eyes blow open, pinching the screen to zoom in on the photo. You scramble to grab the phone back to quit her oogling as she's squealing with glee.

"Holy shit!" she yells. "Accident my ass, Blasty. Damn, that's hot."

"Mina! Keep your voice down," you beg, locking the screen to prevent anyone else from seeing.

"No one is listening over this music," she squawks, punching you lightly in the arm. "Come back to us soon you minx!"

And with that, she leaves you at the bar, returning to the dance circle with the rest of your girlfriends. Your phone vibrates a few more times in your hand and recaptures your attention.

[katsuki] thought you'd like a distraction [katsuki] shit, if this is weird, just tell me and i'll fuck off [katsuki] i should've just asked instead

So it was on purpose. You swallow hard as you shakily type out your reply, trying to keep your cool.

[you] it's not weird, what made you think of me? [katsuki] mina wouldn't shut the fuck up about you earlier. sent me pictures of you in the dress you have on, couldn't get it outta my head

When the fuck did Mina do that?! You had thought she was taking pictures of herself earlier at your apartment. That sneaky bitch!

[you] goddammit mina, i'm sorry about her. why would she send them to you?

You see the typing indicator pop up and disappear a few times before his response arrives.

[katsuki] you know how she is, playing matchmaker and shit with everybody [katsuki] honestly? i'm not mad about it [you] oh? [you] so that's why you sent it to me. hell of a pickup line kats [katsuki] fuck off [katsuki] i can't deny that you're gorgeous [you] yeah? feelings mutual

Your face is burning hot, sitting at the bar in disbelief that Bakugo's flirting with you. And it was all because he was infatuated with what you're wearing? He couldn't get it out of his head?

You're still debating on whether you want to yell at or thank Mina for igniting this fire. [katsuki] where are you right now? [you] sitting at the bar, some club in the city

Another picture is delivered to you on screen and has your jaw dropping to the floor.

The picture is closer to his face this time, cut off at his cheekbones and barely illuminated as Bakugo's fingers are parted over his mouth. His tongue is lazily hanging above his bottom lip with a string of salvia attached to one of his fingers.

Your legs twitch as you bite your lip, imagining his face slotted between your thighs.

[you] holy shit, katsuki...fuck [katsuki] find a bathroom or some dark corner [katsuki] there's more where that came from. just say the word, princess

The pet name is doing things to you that you didn't think was possible. Your overloaded with a sudden rush of arousal, heat twisting in your belly at his promise. Grabbing your bag from the chair, you bolt to the nearest bathroom and lock the door behind you. Luckily, this club's on the nicer side, the bathroom not being as scummy as you thought it would be. You set your things on the counter and grab your phone, turning the camera on and pointing it in the mirror.

If that's how he wanted to play? You could play right back.

[you] that deserves a reward

The photo attached shows your breast pushed closed together, daring to spill out of the top of your dress and wearing the poutiest lip you could muster.

Bakugo’s response is immediate.

[katsuki] goddamn, your tits look amazing in that dress [you] would you believe me if i said they look better out of it?

You turn the camera back on and click the record button, sensually slipping the top of your dress down and letting your breasts loosely lay over the bust. Your nipples are pebbled from the rousing desire flowing through you, making them standing perfectly at attention. You give the camera a wink and squeeze one of your breasts playfully. Once you're happy with the video, you send it with no hesitation and readjust your dress. [katsuki] holy fuck [katsuki] you alone? That's not the response you expected, but you roll with it. [you] yeah, one person bathroom

- Incoming Call: Katsuki Bakugo -

You stare at the contact screen for a few seconds before picking up.

"Hey Kat," you greet, nervousness wracking your body, the thrill of the situation making your heart flutter.

"I wanted 'ta hear your voice instead," Bakugo groans, heavy breaths following his words. "I never thought you'd...want to do this with me."

You can't help but laugh under your breath. "Never thought you wanted to, either."

You're thankful that your not drunk off your ass after all - you want to remember this. You're tipsy, but coherent.

And turned on to high heaven.

Bakugo breaks the silence before you cut him off. "I know you're fresh outta-"

"Katsuki, he's not worth mentioning. I'm focused on you right now."

"Yeah? Tell me more."

"I'd love to see what you're hiding under those sweats, Dynamight. I'm practically a puddle just thinking about it. How do you think my lips would look wrapped around you?"

You can hear Bakugo exhale into the phone and groan. He tries to hide it, but fails miserably.

"Cat got your tongue, huh? Too forward?"

"N-no. It's fuckin' hot. Shit," he whispers with baited breath. "God, what club are you at again?"

"The one near Shibuya station. Crystal Crown, I think. Why?"

There's a pause before you hear various clicks and a beep or two from his side before he answers.

"Changed my mind, this ain't happenin' over the phone the first time. You're 15 minutes from my place, I'm comin' to get ya."

You can feel your panties soak from your excitement, clenching at the thought of him just ravaging you in his car and not being able to make it back to his apartment before touching you like a man starved.

"Coming to sweep me off my feet or to fuck my brains out?" The words spill from your lips before you can stop them, but you don’t regret it when you hear Bakugo moan in response - loudly.

"Fuckin’ - have you been stockpilin’ this shit ‘ta say to me?" He laughs. “You’re gonna kill me before I leave the damn apartment.”

“Didn’t think you’d be so easy to play with,” you joke playfully, twirling a piece of your hair in your fingers. “Better get here before I change my mind, find some other rebound in this stupid club.”

“I’ll be your fuckin’ rebound any day of the week, sweetheart. Ain’t no guy in that building better than me.”

His confidence makes it difficult to bite back the moan in your throat.

“Guess you need to prove it. Get your ass over here, I’ll be out front. You better be wearing those sweats.”

You’re about to hang up when you hear Bakugo say something quietly, too muted for you to make out right away.

“Kats?”

He clears his throat before repeating himself, his voice soft and low. “You sure y’want this? I don’t wanna fuck anythin’ up or whatever.”

“You won’t fuck anything up, nothing wrong with friends fucking with no strings attached. I already flashed my tits at you, no turning back now.”

You subtly hear him let go of the breath he was holding and a hollow chuckle, sounding relieved at your answer.

“Good. See ya soon.”

The line ends with a click, leaving you with your thoughts while staring in the bathroom mirror. You didn’t realize how badly you’ve been shaking until you attempt to walk, unexpectedly stumbling like a baby deer on your heels. Once you gather yourself, you exit the bathroom and hurry over to the dance floor. Mina spots you, rolling her eyes and placing her hands on her hips when you approach the group.

“Where the hell have you been?!” She shouts over the music. “I was starting to think you died in there.”

“I’m heading home,” you say while waving your hand, brushing away her worries.

“Oh…oh my god. Is Bakugo coming to get you?!”

“Mina!”

Jiro and Uraraka turn in your direction, yelling in unison. “Bakugo?!?!”

You palm your face, desperately attempting to hide your flared cheeks as the girls squeal and cheer for you.

“Stop it! We’re still just friends!”

Mina clicks her tongue. “Uh-huh. That’s what I said about Kiri a year ago, and now look at us!”

“You gotta let us know how it goes,” Uraraka winks, elbowing you in the rib. "Rumor has it he lives up to his hero name in bed."

Before the interrogation continues, you back away from the group with a smile and turn for the entrance. You slide through the doors and slip out onto the sidewalk and see Bakugo parked out front, smiling as his eyes spot you on the busy street.

Has he ever smiled at you like that before?

He gets out of the car and walks around to greet you.

“Hey Katsu-”

Before you can process what’s happening, Bakugo’s got one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your neck. He gently leans you against the car as he swoops down to place a featherlight kiss to your lips. You squeak before melting into him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Sparks are flying through your whole body - a sensation you haven’t felt for a long time. When the two of you part, his eyes are half-lidded, cheeks flushed and lips parted with shallow breaths.

“Ready to go?” He asks, removing the hand from your neck and stroking your cheek with his thumb. Your heart is in your throat, strangling any words you try to say, so instead, you just nod ‘yes.’ Bakugo walks you to the passenger side and opens the door for you, just like any other time you’ve hung out. When he shuts the door and goes to walk to the drivers side, you finally notice he’s wearing the damn grey sweatpants.

The entire drive back to his place, Bakugo’s hand doesn’t leave your thigh. His fingers danced over your skin, playing with the hem of your dress and gingerly squeezing the plush surface every so often. You return the favor, walking your fingers up the inside of his thigh a few times, stopping short of the growing tent in his sweats. Pulling up to his apartment complex seems to take the breath out of both of you. He turns the car off and you sit idly in silence, it's only a minute or two, but feels like a lifetime.

Bakugo gets out first, jogging over to your side to open your door. He takes your hand as you stand, closing the door behind you and swiftly sweeping you off your feet into his arms, bridal style.

"Wow, do all the girls you bring home get this treatment?" you tease, planting a kiss on his warm cheek.

"Never had the pleasure of bringin' a princess home, so no."

That shuts you up and makes you quiver in his hold.

"I'm honored, sir Dynamight. Take me to your castle!" You swoon, dramatically leaning back with a hand over your head.

Bakugo shakes his head and grins, starting to jog through the parking lot and up the stairs with you. You hold onto his shoulders while giggling uncontrollably, ecstatic to see where the night takes you.

One things for certain - you haven't thought about your ex once. And you look forward to keeping it that way.

tags; @slayfics @maddietries

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Rigor Mortis (part 5)

College roommate!Miguel O'Hara x reader

(AO3 Mirror) (Wattpad) Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist,

Part 4, Part 6

summary: You deal with the aftermath of last night. Lyla has a party.

warnings: very suggestive. mentions of sex, vulgar language, etc 18+ Minors DNI

a/n: this is so so so self indulgent i cannot express it enough. probably ooc asf: you've been warned.

Thank you to my beta readers, @tianyhi and @urgonnaneedabiggership (they also write Miguel fics, I highly recommend! my favourite is this series), I couldn't have done it without you guys <3

Join my taglists here

wc: 8.5k (i'm on a strict plan and had a lot to get through lmfao)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and they were good.

Eventually, you're bundled into your room in a fit of giggles and with shaky legs. Even in Miguel's hoodie, insisted upon by the man himself, the sheets feel a little colder after he leaves. Initially, he had collapsed on top of you; smothering you with the heat of his bare skin and the sweats that ride down his hips, dangerously low. You're pushing him off, or trying to, heavy and leaden-limbed. Whether it's the weight of that orgasm or the remnants of that blunt that turns your arms to jelly – you don't know.

Honestly, you don't think you care. He's resorted to laying his head on your chest in mock sleep – clearly still high as fuck – and stretching out on top like a housecat. He's warm on your lap; so you bring a hand to card through dark brown curls that rest on the flat of your sternum. 

You'd never have known it: Miguel has a playful side, beneath all the sarcasm and red tape. 

In the morning, he's gone - with only his hoodie as proof that something happened. For you, it's a hazy memory - warmth tinged in the lazy light of last night's high. It comes and goes like the tide on a quiet beach: remembering how he touched you, the feel of bare skin on bare skin, the way it burned when he kissed your shoulder…. 

And it's gone, again. You're left tracing the hickey at the base of your neck, and it aches . A little moment like that, fooling around like teenagers on prom night, and it shouldn't feel as intimate as it does. Groaning into your pillow, you burrow into the expanse of your roommate's hoodie. With a busy week incoming, you can't afford to be distracted – not like this. 

And so, you bury the urge to knock on Miguel's door, and put your lips around the words that mean… more. You want more. It feels greedy to verbalise it, as if you've seen too much of him already. The irony; humping almost fully clothed and yet, feeling so bare. It leaves a strange taste in your mouth – blood, maybe. Maybe he's finally done it: stuck the knife between ribs to find out what colour you bleed. Miguel's a scientist after all; prone to making things go pop and snap , slicing into specimens with a steady hand.

It's too much, too close for comfort and you can't afford it: affection and intimacy in any shape or size was a fatal wound , especially after last time. Instead, you let the morning waves crash over its outline left in sand. A body – blood and gristle and guts – washed away by the tide. 

You find yourself pushing down dangerous feelings. After finally getting comfortable with Miguel, all that progress seems for naught; bumbling around the apartment like a deer finding its legs. The first morning, you're spared a confrontation as he's already gone from the apartment. Earlier than usual, and you hand-wave away that little voice in your head that says: he's avoiding you . 

He's not. He can't be. And you know it because he's able to look you in the eye. Briefly, but it's much longer than you can last. You have a whole conversation when he comes home and it only makes you want to rip out your eyeballs a little. 

You're on the sofa, hands in your lap and antsy. There's a stupid soap on the TV, but you can barely concentrate; head too full of cotton to make sense of the screen. You're so lost in thought that when the door clicks open, you jump half a foot into the air. 

"Shit." You turn, watching Miguel kick his shoes off at the door. Flashing him a nervous smile, you wave limply and turn around to cringe. 

"Heeey," God. You burrow into the cushions. 

"Hey." He's got a plastic bag in hand. He drops the rucksack on his back, and goes straight to the kitchen. 

You call out. "Takeout's in the fridge." 

He hums, and you hear clattering from the doorway. Turning, you watch; sleeves rolled up in a smart shirt. You can see the muscles in his back from here; the ripple of hard lines under cotton. Craning your head, you can't help but be curious. 

"Stop sticking your nose in."

You're halfway off the couch, and stop dead in your tracks. 

"M'not-" 

He peeks out from the doorframe; catching you in the act. 

"You're not allowed to look."

It leaves you spluttering, getting off the sofa like a spoilt child. He's telling you not to look, and like clockwork you're itching for it; padding towards the counters. Miguel must have superpowers the way he catches you, leant against the doorframe with his arms crossed across his broad chest. You're on your tiptoes and trying to get a glimpse into the kitchen. He shifts in the way, tight-lipped and shaking his head. 

"Meant it. It's a surprise." You cock your head, like you can't believe what he's saying. 

You step to the other side and he steps along with you, blocking your view. 

"... Miguel ." You say it slowly, incredulous. You're stepping closer, ever so slightly, but he stays stony-faced and resolute. 

For the first time in 24 hours, since you basically fucked him in the room next door, you're looking each other in the eye. Squinting, you hold his gaze but he barely cracks a smile. 

"Sit down." He says it sternly, but his voice is soft. "Please."

With a flourish, you bring your hands up in surrender and inch back towards the couch. It's the usual chopping and thudding of cabinets being opened and closed. It takes everything not to look back, but you force yourself to concentrate on the TV. 

Finally, he places a bowl in front of you before flopping to your side. He's still in his work clothes, adjusting the waistband of black slacks and popping off the buttons at the top of his shirt. You're trying not to stare, not to drool at the way he just melts ; sinking into the seats like a lolly on a hot sidewalk. When he brings his bowl closer, that's when you inspect the contents of yours. 

"Is this…?" You start, and he hums; taking a healthy slurp of noodles in the process. 

You shake your head to no one in particular. It's the very same instant ramen you've stopped buying, after constant complaints and lectures from the man himself. There's enough salt in here to banish a demon, he'd spit. In retaliation you'd bite back, saying, maybe you'll fuck off where you came from, and retreat to your room to eat in peace. It's your favourite flavour; perfectly salty and flavourful and definitely not good for you. In the broth, there's the milky white and yellow of an egg, with spring onions and fresh veg breaking the surface. Even before you've taken a bite, you feel that warmth at your chest, again. 

He doesn't even look at you, pointing a finger at the screen instead. 

"I thought Jenny was dead?"

You clear your throat of that lump, rising up like a fishing boat spit up by the waves. 

"That was her twin sister, Jane."

"...I thought Jane was dead." He frowns. 

"No, no, Jane faked her death in the mining accident; and ran off with all that inheritance money… were you paying attention last episode?"

"No, you watched it without me."

"Yeah, but you said you hated this show–"

" –only because it's a total rip-off of La Patrona ," 

"And yet, you're begging me not to watch without you–" 

"Begging seems a little strong–" 

He's kept his sharp tongue, and you're too occupied with arguing to notice the hand wrapped around the back of the sofa; how you're both inching closer until your legs come to rest on his own. You're focusing on his lips, drawn in by a pull that seems stronger than gravity. 

He's saying your name, and you snap out of it. Blinking up at him, a deer in headlights, you remember yourself and look away. Tension pulls at the both of you, a string as thin as fishing wire that snaps with your realisation. You like the way he looks, flushed and flustered after a long day. You could make him feel even better, right now, if he wanted it. You'd drop to your knees and wrap a hand around his cock, pulling those beautiful sounds out of him – the very same ones you'd fucked yourself to the thought of, not so long ago. 

If, being the key word. And with the way he shifts back, away from you, you're not too sure if last night was a flash in the pan or something more. 

Everything about Miguel screams dangerous; flags in deep scarlet that are telling you to stay the fuck away. He doesn't commit, sleeps around; refusing to define or put a label on any significant relationship in his life. He won't even admit, say the words, that he's fucking a half-dozen girls right now; even when you've got concrete proof in the form of messy lips and banging on the walls. Okay, maybe half a dozen is a stretch; but three girls, on three separate, multiple, occasions for sure. Probably; you haven't technically seen anything but if the precision of last night was any indicator – the terrifying speed at which he made you fold like a lawn chair – he had significant experience. He was a fucking veteran; dedicated to the sport for the love of the game. 

You find yourself caught in his web all the same; kicking yourself at your naivete. He's turned away now, seemingly unfazed, making little comments at the show you've got on TV. It's becoming increasingly clear where you stand: caught in a game of chicken with your roommate – a man with balls of steel, if last night was any indicator. You're ill equipped to deal with such levels of conflict avoidance, despite years of hands on experience. 

The question remains, stuck in the gaps of your teeth like udon, thick and dense and chewy: how exactly does he feel about you? Where do you belong? 

~~~

It's been quite the week and a half, mostly spent trying to make sense of Miguel. One minute you're at each other's throats, and the next, he's talking you through rate laws and kinetics equations. Apparently , you've got a lecturer he used to have, and he insists on sidling up to you on the dining table; prodding at your paper and liberally crossing out errors. His inconsistency has you irate ; and it means you get petty, picking fights and laying easy bait. Frustratingly enough, all it does is make that tension worse; thick and choking ; in your little apartment. 

The only thing you have to look forward to is the party at Lyla's; of which you've volunteered to help set up. It means food, and drink, and a couple hours of respite, hopefully. 

On the day, you get to Lyla's early. Miguel's at work, promising to be there in a couple of hours, and so you take the subway instead. Yet again, walking up to her apartment feels like another world – one of marble and faux fur and lots of animal print. When she lets you up, you're left with only your thoughts and the quiet hum of the elevator. In the mirrored wall, you take stock of your outfit: snug denim and a little shirt. Admittedly, your wardrobe felt a little lacking – jeans and a nice top being your go to. Right now, your only hope is that the dress code would be more forgiving. 

The door swings open and Lyla's pushing you towards the living room, chattering away at a mile a minute. It's overwhelming as you're dragged into the light, half a dozen boxes and its miscellaneous contents strewn onto the floor. 

"–and Jess has the nose of a bloodhound, so if anything seems even a little off, she'll know… "

You nod slowly as Lyla squeezes your arm with so much force, it cuts off blood supply. 

"Like clockwork. We need this to run like clockwork."

Fingers numb, you watch as her features set; a wide smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and shadow that cuts her face just so. Overcast and dramatic; simply put, it's terrifying. 

There's a loud Pop! from behind, making you jump. 

"... sorry !" Peter's voice rings out, and there’s a tangle of brown hair and dark eyes peeking over the kitchen island. 

Walking over, you can see he's splayed out on the tiles, balloons littered all over the place. A balloon pump, long discarded, sits in its packet at barely an arm's length. More importantly, though, he's got a bundle of red hair and freckles in his arms; little May, sniffling and whining with what's left of a balloon between chubby fingers. 

"Might need some help, over here…" He says it softly, rocking the little girl in his lap. 

Lyla rolls up non-existent sleeves, face scrunched up in concentration. She closes her eyes ; fingers dancing as if typing on non-existent keys. 

"...okay, okay, change of plans." She turns to you, eyes wrenched open and hands clasped together – Machievellian in nature. You suppose; with the sheer extent of her party planning skills, able to pull strings this way and that; it fits. "We've got exactly 3 hours and 23 minutes before everyone else arrives, plus about 17 minutes, give or take, before Jess does."

"How do you kno-" You start, but Peter presses a finger to his lips. She's in the zone, he seems to mouth. 

“I need you and Pete to get these balloons done, and then we can set up the archway. I’ll call Ben, ask him where the fuck he is, and then we’ll see if we can get some banners and streamers up…. God , and the food…. think I need to threaten someone at the catering company, give me a sec,” She stalks off, muttering something that sounds important. Pete shrugs, kicking over a box of balloons; black, white and gold, a lot fancier than you had expected. May is eased off of his lap, and he presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head. She sniffles, holding her head up bravely. It's probably the cutest thing you’ve seen all year.

“I give her 5 minutes before she realises Miguel’s going to be late.”

“...and God help us when she does.” You finish for him, settling down on the cool marble. 

You make a start on the balloons, opening the untouched packets and pulling out a shiny pump.

“How long have you known each other?” You busy your hands by stretching the neck of a deceptively small balloon.

“Oh, Lyla?” He frowns. “A couple of years, maybe. We met because of Miguel – same with Jess and Ben, actually.”

It's your turn to frown. Miguel was the glue? It’s a picture that doesn’t quite match up with the meet-cute that you were painting in your head. If they met because of your roommate, it must’ve been a contentious group project, or someone rear-ended in the parking lot, that brought them together: something with a lot of shouting and arguing, you decide. 

Maybe Pete sees the surprise on your face, because he adds, “I’ve known Miguel for longer, though… and he’s a lot nicer than people give him credit for.”

“...I didn’t say he wasn’t.” Nice? Not a chance. 

“But you were thinking it. Promise, once you get to know him–”

He’ll give you a mind-numbing orgasm and pretend it never happened. Or something like that.

“ –he gets less confusing?” You grumble. “I’ve seen enough, I think.”

“So maybe he’s a bit of a prick. But under that cold, stony exterior; buried deep, deep, deep…”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Deep down , somewhere, he’s got a heart.”

“I just,” You pause, choosing your next words more delicately. “I didn’t expect his friends to be like you guys. Fun and–” …a little batshit, and… “ – spontaneous. He’s so stoic sometimes, it’s worrying. Like, he’ll just blank out on the couch–”

“–frowning in the corner like the wall’s pissed him off personally? Yeah, I’ve seen that one a few times.”

“He’s just so hot and cold! Sometimes we’re good and almost friendly, and then all of a sudden he’s avoiding me at all costs, holed up somewhere. A-And then he’s making me breakfast, like that blip didn’t even happen… did I do something wrong? Has he said anything to you? I-I just want him to–”

The man besides you chuckles. And then, you flash him a violent look that has him flattening his features in a hurry.

“He just… takes some time to warm up, s’all. He’s changed – changing. I mean, we went to highschool together and I didn’t even realise ‘til we met again in college.”

“You went to highschool with him?”

“Yeah, but I was like, 2 grades ahead of him. We didn’t really talk except… we were both in this robotics club afterschool.”

“Robotics? Wires, and circuit boards, and–”

“ –robots. Honest-to-God, hand-on-heart, stupid little robots. And being teenagers with way too much time on our hands, we’d build ‘em, and then make ‘em fight to the death. Miguel… he took it way more serious than everyone else there. We’d mess around with goobers and battlebots – hell, sometimes we’d skip to get food. He was.. He was always there, though, hunkered down in the corner and tinkering away at something.” 

“Now, I wasn’t popular in highschool, at all – I went to Robotics Club , so I think that about sums it up – but I remember… no-one could really understand him. Top of his class, always up for awards, but people thought he was a little weird. Come rain or shine, he’d always be in that corner seat with a screwdriver basically glued to his hand. And we didn’t have a clue what he was building.”

He seems wistful, thinking back to that time. 

“When I finally asked him what it was, at the end of maybe… 2 semesters,” He smiles, one that deepens his dimples and brushes the corners of his eyes. “He finally told us. It was a… a fucking arena for all the stupid stuff we built. He’d really thought it through, too: all our equipment would get jumbled up, so he made little boxes and sections to separate them in. There was an LED pad he’d programmed to keep a scoreboard. It was made out of this… self-healing vinyl so we wouldn’t need to replace it too often. He got so excited when he was explaining it all; about how it folded up so we could bring it with us when we changed classrooms, and… honestly, I think they still have it there.”

He sighs. “I think that’s all he knows how to do, y’know. That’s the language he speaks, the only one he really understands. Taking care of people, giving them what they need. You’re barely friends with Miguel, then all of a sudden he’s giving you hangover cures cooked up in his kitchen, and cussing you out in the morning, ‘cus you went a little too ham after a breakup. Or…he’s bringing pizza to your apartment at 3 in the morning, ‘cus he knew you were lying about being okay after your Uncle’s funeral.”

He’s got a faraway look in his eyes, an absentminded hand in May’s. Her stubby fingers curl around his, and then he’s back, snapped out of that distant daydream.

“Give it time. He’s been through some shit. Miguel’s got layers, like–”

“Like an onion?” You offer, weakly.

“No, no. Like one of those cheese wheel things that May likes so much. With.. with the wrapper and the waxy red stuff on the..?” He handwaves it away. “Forget it. MJ knows what they’re called.”

~~~

You put your back into helping set up. You don't quite get the theme, but Lyla explains it all whilst you hang the contents of those boxes on the wall: a maximalist, hedonistic mish-mash of food, drink and decor. She wants it to feel like if Gatsby three raves, and actually fucked that sad twink – whatever that means. The visual representation of an orgasm, but classy, she says. More, more, more; and if your back doesn't hurt by the end of it, then it's not enough. 

She's got you hauling ass across her front room, draping fabric and moving furniture like it's your job. Ben arrives and between the four of you (five, if you include May clambering on decor), it's all done. You can't help but think she's done a great job: the whole room decked out to look like the cover of an expensive wedding in Vogue – excessive but in a way that's only classy when rich people hire someone else to do it. Lush fabric in lieu of streamers draped on the walls, balloons sculpted into arches and tastefully dotted around the floor. The theme is black and white, with hints of gold, and gentle strings of pearl hang from ceilings and walls. It looks good, because it has to; Lyla's made you move everything around about a million times. 

Gleefully, she rubs her hands together, turning to all of you. "Food's going to be here in 10, I think. You guys get changed and I'll double check when Miguel's bringing the cake."

Peter and Ben disperse into various rooms – with Peter noticeably rubbing his back, May on his arm. You're left with Lyla, awkwardly looking towards her for guidance. 

"...get changed?" You look down at your woefully casual outfit. It seems you've come completely unprepared. 

"Yep. Miggy didn't tell you about the dress code?" 

…it's becoming increasingly difficult to cut your roommate some slack. With everything that's happened, rather conveniently, he's neglected to make any mention of a dress code. 

Sheepishly, you start, "I didn't know, shit –" 

Lyla cuts you off and brings a hand up to silence you. Bouncing on her toes, she's almost giddy with excitement. 

"I know exactly what you can wear!" 

She leads you upstairs to her room. You perch on her bed; and whilst you grapple with the fact that she even has an upstairs, you lose her in the deep depths of a walk-in. Lyla rummages through almost cartoonishly; wading through fur and leather and giant coats like an explorer hacking through dense forest. Eventually, she resurfaces, waving a bundle of white fabric. She hands it to you with a grin. 

She gives you some room, pushing you through the double doors of her closet to get changed. The dress feels amazing on: well-made, thick fabric and endlessly snug in all the right places. In the mirror, you marvel at how such a simple garment transforms you: a silky slip that stops about mid thigh, draped beautifully on your shoulders, and hugging your hips like a glove. There's a little slit at the side that stops just a bit higher than you'd usually be comfortable with, but… it works. Incidentally, your makeup and hair compliments the look; soft and pretty and–

You hear a small gasp from behind the door. Lyla's got her head peeking out into the room, and then she's at your side with a gentle hand on your arm. She spins you around in front of the mirror. 

"You look…" Her eyes light up, marvelling at you. " Gorgeous. You have to keep it."

"No, I can't… I won't . I was already underdressed, and this must have been expensive. I can't."

"No shit, of course it was expensive. But that's not a good enough reason… I barely wear it, and I've got more than enough clothes. Keep it ." She's smiling, head just over your shoulder in the mirror. 

"It's not too much…?" 

"Honestly, babe, it's not enough." She giggles. "D'you like it?" 

It feels weird to look at yourself like this, dolled up and pretty – contrasting how you've felt in the past few months. It feels like you've been in survival mode; exhausted and perpetually tired. On, all the time, and sick with worry about one thing or the other. You've forgotten to take care of yourself, and as a result, this feels different. 

Lyla notices: the way you stand up a little straighter and adjust your hair; the way you try your hardest to clamp down a smile. Do you like it? Slowly but surely, you nod. 

"You're allowed to like it, y'know," She says, softly. "You look happy. You look good. "

You believe it, when she says it. You let that feeling carry you down the stairs; one hand on the railing and Lyla babbling away with an arm looped around yours. 

~~~

Miguel is late – really late .

He was meant to be at Lyla'a about an hour and a half ago, which means he's rushing to get the cake. For once, at least that goes smoothly; and he picks up a little red velvet affair, piped to perfection and with " Happy 27th, Jess!" written on its face. It keeps him company on the way to the party, sitting snug on the passenger's seat as he drives more carefully than before. He figures it's better to be safe than sorry; already this late, there's no need to add cake smasher to the list. 

The day's been draining, and he wants nothing more than to curl up in bed with his favourite podcast. He knows his friends like the back of his hand, and knows that when Lyla says a small celebration for Jess, just a house party ; what she means is going the whole 9 yards, an excess of food and drink and disgustingly expensive decor, all for the sake of a birthday. He's had a glimpse of the guest list, and recognises about half of the people there – Lyla's too friendly for her own good, he thinks. He'd tried to talk her out of it, knowing Jess would be more than up for a smaller dinner, but she had her mind set. And it's impressive, what she's no doubt managed to achieve in the past few weeks of meticulous planning. 

Nevertheless, it's not something he has the energy for, right now. Work had been a slog; and he'd had a couple hours of lectures before a meeting with his thesis supervisor – where she had ripped his outline to shreds, frankly. He's still sore from that verbal lashing, but fears the one he'll get from Lyla more, if he doesn't come. 

And… and there's you, headstrong and stubborn and insisting on attending; even though he had made it abundantly clear you were under no obligation to do so. It must be out of spite, he thinks. But with the dress code, he can't help but daydream as to what you'd look like; maybe, a pretty little dress on, hair done a bit different, and… ohhh fuck. He didn't tell you about the dress code. 

He's gripping the steering wheel, annoyed at himself for such a little slip up. And it's not just the fact that he's forgotten; but he knows, considering the past few days, you might take it the wrong way. He's not stupid ; he knows he's been wishy-washy, all because it's hard to decide how he wants you or if he should. More than anything, he feels guilt; getting you high and oh-so close to fucking you, just the way you deserve, and then… he can't. It's hard to explain, and even harder for him to wrap his head around. That logical part of him screaming: you can't fuck your roommate without consequences. But he's already had a glance into Pandora's box, a taste of that sweet fruit – of temptation , strong and heady. 

It's that taste left in his mouth, of something sweet, that lingers when he walks into the party. The door's open, but even from down the hallway he can feel it: the rattle and shake of pumping music. He squeezes himself in, dodging the mass of bodies packed into the main room. The lights are low, music loud and the celebration well underway. More than anything, he's hoping it's so busy he can just show his face for a bit, and then slip out. 

He towers over other people, shuffling past, giving a nod or hello to all the people that slap his back and greet him. A scattered chorus of 'Hi' s and 'S'up, Miguel's, and then he's placing the cake on the counter, pushing past half-empty drinks and beer bottles. He snatches one up, looking around. He's watching for the furred collar that Lyla's no doubt wearing, or mousy brown in the neon lights; but with the pumping mass of bodies, he can't see much. 

He's ready to check upstairs when the crowd parts, and he sees you ; swirling in the mass. It makes his chest bloom with heat; you're gorgeous, dressed in white like an angel and smiling in a way he's never seen before. And then, his heart stops as someone else comes into view: another man, somewhat taller than you. There's an arm wrapped around your waist, and the man dances up against you in a way that makes something cold and bitter flare up within him. Miguel stays glued to the spot, for some reason, unable to take his eyes off of you: illuminated in the light, beautiful and flowing like a spectre. And like nails on a chalkboard, all he can do is watch as you dance up against someone else. 

His mouth goes dry, and then he's making a beeline for the double doors at the back; a glassy entrance to a balcony tucked away. The air is stifling in there, but when he's on the balcony, finally, he's able to breathe. 

There's someone nursing a brightly coloured drink, in its corner. Jess, big hair braided back and a velvety red jumpsuit on. She turns at the clatter of the door opening, before bursting into a wide smile. 

" Miguel!" She cheers, enveloping him in a hug. 

"Hey," He smiles warmly, sinking into her arms.  "Happy birthday, Jess."

"Thank you, kindly." She curtsies, producing a faux southern twang and laughing all the same. Then, she wags a finger at the man in front of her. "You're late . "

He rubs his temples. "I.. I know."

"Lyla's gonna fucking kill you. "

"I know."

She gives him a playful punch. "You okay, over there?" 

He gives her a rueful smile. "Yeah, Jess. Of course. When am I ever not okay?" 

"I've got a list, big guy, but we'll be here all day." 

She laughs and Miguel glances over through the glass; drawn to you even now. The song's changed, a bass line that rattles the panes, and you're still glued to that guy . Just as quickly, he looks away. 

With a front row view to that display, Jess raises an eyebrow. She follows his gaze, connecting the dots. 

" Oh. " Her voice is gentle. "S'that her?" 

" Her?" Miguel echoes.

" Her . Your roommate. The one Lyla says you're fucking."

"You and I both know– " 

"Okay, okay, maybe she didn't say those exact words…. but there's something there, for sure."

"Not possible . " He says it plainly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. 

She leans against the railing, taking a careful sip of her drink. 

"Xina says you're doing stupid shit to impress her. Peter says you're making heart eyes whenever she's in the room. Ben says– "

"Xina? What's she got to do with anything?" He's deflecting, Jess notes. Miguel, usually so quick with the sarcasm, and he's refusing to touch the other half of what she said. 

"...you're tutoring half of her classmates."

He purses his lips. "Yeah, but I didn't think –" 

"...you didn't think girls would talk?" She splutters. Of course it sounds stupid, when she puts it like that. 

"Yeah, well, Xina's still not talking to me , so…" He trails off, shaking his head. 

"It's almost as if you broke her heart into a million tiny pieces, Mig." She rolls her eyes. "Get your head out of your ass, man." 

She turns to face the city and Miguel does the same, with a heavy sigh. It's quiet for a moment, with only the sound of cars below and dull thrum of speakers behind to keep them company. He's always liked this, he thinks. A moment of calm with Jess, the only sane person for miles around. They're able to sit in comfortable silence, in a half-minute that transcends words. 

He reaches into his front pocket, pulling out a little parcel that's wrapped up in red paper. He nudges Jess, handing the present over. 

"Happy birthday." 

She smiles, tearing into the little package. Then she stops halfway, heart melting at what peeks through. 

" Miguel… " She coos, a hand on his arm to steady herself. Out of the packing paper, she produces two little boots; red and blue and made of soft wool. "How did you…?" 

"It wasn't obvious, but… sick in the mornings, switching to soda when we go out to a bar…" He allows himself a smile. "And I asked what's-his-face, just to be sure."

"See, I can't tell if you actually don't know my husband's name or–" She cuts herself off with watery laughter. "F-Forget it. Fuck, I'm gonna cry all this makeup off,"

He takes a sharp intake of air. "They were… mamá made them." 

"Thank you, oh God . I know how much this–" 

He cuts her off with a hand wave, as if to say; don't worry about it. "Sorry I couldn't come to the wedding. Your husband seems nice, and he treats you well. Although , he's kind of–" 

" Corny . Yeah, we get that a lot." She's half laughing, half crying, fanning her face to stop her mascara from running. 

He wraps a big arm around her, pulling Jess into his side. Happy tears, he hopes as she blubbers. 

"I think m'getting too old for this… we don't see each other enough, lately… a-and I would've been happy with the dinner, then Lyla told me there was an emergency over here–" 

"She did good. Really good. Don't tell her I said that, though."

She nods, bringing a finger to her lips with a smile. "And you don't tell the other's about…"

"Of course not. When you're ready, Jess."

"I love you, man." She grins wide, and Miguel returns it with one of his own; an increasingly rare megawatt smile. It quickly falls with her next words. 

"If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll break your kneecaps and blame it on the hormones." 

She grabs his beer, opening it with her teeth, and hands it back to him. A little scared, Miguel takes a healthy swig. 

"Oh, shit. " Jess exclaims, batting his arm. "I completely forgot. Lyla's got some stupid games on, upstairs."

"Who with?" 

"The usual suspects, Mig – though Peter's long gone and… I don't even know where Ben goes, actually. But you can bring your girlfriend up, if you promise not to eyefuck her across the room."

" Gross , Jess."

She raises a hand up in surrender, leading the way back inside. 

~~~

Miguel's here all of a sudden, and in a moment you thought would be more of a bang ; you lock eyes with him as Jess herds you upstairs. It's less of a sharp pain at the ribs and more of a crescendo; pooling warmth spreading to fingers and toes. He's still in his work clothes: crisp white shirt with a couple buttons undone, and black trousers. A little formal, and yet, he doesn't feel out of place; wearing the monochrome of the dress code, and looking twice as good as any man in the room. Somehow, you've forgotten how tall he is; lumbering over everyone else as he cuts between the crowd. He snakes behind you, giving you a strange look as you walk up the stairs. All of a sudden, you're weary of your dress, tugging down its hem as best you can. Miguel stays behind you, a gentle hand at the small of your back. 

"You're okay," He whispers, sending shivers down your spine. " I've got you ."

He doesn't mean it like that , but it's too easy for you to close your eyes and imagine what it could be; words he kissed into skin when you're on top, struggling to take his length. 

You ignore that coil tightening at the pit of your stomach, choosing instead to focus on Lyla stumbling through the door,  trademark pink shades slipping down her nose. Behind her, there's a little sitting room; plush furniture and a massive tv – with quite a few consoles in the corner, you note. She shouts your name, barely audible over the music. 

" – oh, and hi, Miguel!" She's too drunk to be mad, and you don't notice Miguel visibly relaxing. She takes your hand, calling over to Jess just behind you. "We saved you a mocktail, J."

Taking your seat, you settle down next to Lyla; perching with your legs crossed on the seat. Miguel sits some way away, on the opposite side of your makeshift circle, clearly trying not to make eye contact. Jess elbows him, and he turns to her, before having a heated argument; all hushed whispers and hand gestures. It's the most animated he's been in the past week, for sure… 

"We're playing Never Have I Ever, Jess! Like back in college."

The woman in question rolls her eyes, giving a flash of pretty dimple. Back in college, Lyla says, when they'd drink cheap beer and spill their guts in dive bars – a tradition Jess wasn't too upset to see go. She didn't have the stomach for it then, and she doesn't now; but it probably wouldn't hurt to relive some of that fun. 

It's a warmup round, so to speak; a strong drink thrust into your hands. You take turns going around the circle, starting off relatively tame. First, it's Never have I ever skipped a class. Everyone, all college aged or older, drinks to that one. It's practically a given. And then someone chips in with Never have I ever broken a bone . Again, most people drink – taking advantage of the freebies to get a little tipsy. 

It's Lyla that throws out the juicy ones, after a couple of duds. 

" Never have I ever faked an orgasm." She says it from behind her glass, giggling. 

Less people drink, this time. Sheepishly, you raise your glass, taking a healthy gulp. Lyla takes the opportunity to gasp, clutching at her chest and fanning her forehead dramatically. 

You're whispering back, half laughing and half telling her off, "That's not that weird, Ly. Hasn't everyone…?"

"Not me. How's your partner meant to know it's shit if you fake it?" 

It's her sincerity that makes you laugh; wide-eyed and completely incredulous. You're clamping down the giggles when you look around, immediately locking eyes with Miguel. He gives you an odd look, as if amused. 

You're up next, and roll up metaphorical sleeves. "Never have I ever had a threesome. "

There's murmuring around the room, and a couple of people take a drink. Lyla does, with glee, and someone else you don't quite know the name of. What surprises you, however, is when Miguel takes a swig; eyes locked onto yours. 

You feel heat rising, blinking away as best you can. You still feel his gaze, of course. That game of chicken, the one you've so desperately been trying to avoid, rears its ugly head. You think Miguel is winning. 

The questions get more and more provocative. Never have I ever been pegged… or pegged someone else. Lyla drinks, Jess takes a gulp of her fruity mocktail…. and so does Miguel. Never have I ever been cheated on. Most people drink to this one, including yourself. A shitty teen relationship barely counts, you suppose; but you're taking every opportunity for a drink right now. 

Never have I ever cheated on someone. One or two people drink, and at least they have the decency to be ashamed. When Miguel drinks, however, you shift in your seat. Something settles within you, discontent. Yet again, your image of the man in front of you changes. For someone who sleeps around, maybe it's not too much of a stretch for him to cheat ; but the word feels so final, too cruel. It doesn't match up, for some reason, with your Miguel, who brings you piping hot noodles and hot water bottles on a bad day. 

This time, he doesn't meet your eye. 

Lyla decides she's bored, bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

"New game – truth or dare!" There's faux groans from around the room. Lyla sticks a tongue out, ignoring them, and continues. "Jess, as the birthday girl… you get first pick."

Jess lights up, gorgeous , with the hoops at her ears swinging to and fro when she looks around. You haven't spoken much to her, but she seems like good fun; making a whole song and dance of picking the first victim. 

It's obvious, in hindsight, who she'd pick. There's only one person in the room visibly squirming, almost sweating , at the idea of something so out of his control. 

" Miguel," She says, turning to the man sinking into cushions. "Truth or dare?" 

He gives her a look, and she combats it with one of her own; the kind that could melt steel beams, and says It's my birthday, don't be a dick. 

" Dare ." He grits his teeth. 

"I dare you," She pauses for dramatic effect. "...to show us your porn watch history." 

Imperceptible, his eyes flash towards you. You notice , mouth dry. He groans. "We're not 19 anymore, Jess. It's childish. I'm a grown ass man–" 

" Truth or Dare , Mig."

"Truth." It's quick – which is very reasonable, considering her tone. 

"When was the last time you fucked someone?" 

Everyone turns to Miguel. He's looking at you, of course, wincing at the words he's about to say. 

"I don't…" He's swirling the beer bottle in his hand, and then he shrugs noncommittally. "I don't know. A… month, maybe."

" Bullshit!" Someone whisper-shouts, and then there's some laughter. 

Jess' eyebrows jump up, and Miguel bats her concerns away, whispering something under his breath. You can't quite catch it but his body language is clear: don't ask. He downs the rest of his drink, lips around the bottle, as some liquid trails down the side of his jaw. You're watching, unrepentantly obvious, and he catches your gaze. Without breaking eye contact, he swipes a finger to the liquid and licks it up.

Heart racing, you force yourself to look away and try to concentrate on the next few dares. The circle seems to have moved on, more interested in whatever juicy shit they can drag up in the next poor victim. 

You've all but zoned out when it's the turn of Jun, egged on by a couple of friends. You frown. He's that guy you were dancing with earlier, caught up in heady music and swirling lights. Jun is handsome, in that famous starlet kind of way; square-jawed, pretty eyes, and dark, cropped hair. Boy wonder is lean-lined with a nice smile; the very same that had reeled you in on the dancefloor. Maybe it's the liquor, but you think he's looking at you now; raking sharp eyes over your figure. 

"How do you know him?" You whisper to Lyla. 

She cups a hand to your ear, more than halfway to being absolutely wasted. 

"Used t-to work with him. He's nice enough, I think…? There was a rumour around the office; and apparently, he's got a massive di-" 

"Truth or dare?" Someone says. 

"Dare. Obviously." He flashes a smile in your direction. 

You squirm, and Lyla shines with realisation. 

"Oh my God." She whispers, and then she's interrupting before you can stop her. "Makeout with the hottest girl in the room. A proper one, tongue and teeth and–" 

You elbow her, square in the ribs. Thankfully, she takes the hint. Jun cocks his head, as if mulling it over. He gets up. 

Your head spins with the drink, and you're concentrating on keeping your sneakers flat on the ground. Head down, you don't notice the man walking over. He crouches, tapping your knee. 

"Oh." You say, blinking up at him. "Hi, again."

"Hi, again." He smiles. It's like you're the only two in the room, and with the way he looks at you, eyes darting to your lips… "Can I kiss you?" 

The words get caught in your throat, so you nod, fumbling. 

He places a hand to your chin, gently pushing you closer and then you're kissing; sweet and gentle. You separate, and you open your eyes to find his blown . You've got tunnel vision: his lips are pretty and wonderfully swollen – you just can't help it. 

You go back in again, parting your lips to let him in. He's cradling your jaw, tracing a hand up your thigh and it feels good. Closing your eyes, you sink into the heady haze of booze, grabbing at his shoulders. They're not as broad as Miguel's, and Jun isn't as clean shaven. When you snake a hand to the nape of his neck; it's rougher than your roommate's hair, cropped into a boyish cut instead of Miguel's gentle curl. Sighing, you both come up for air, and you're almost disappointed at the distinct lack of red-brown blinking back at you. 

Nails on a chalkboard, and you're back in the room. You look around to amused faces, catching Lyla wide-eyed besides you. Jun's cheeky, placing a quick peck to the side of your mouth before sitting down. From your vantage point, you're scared to look, to really look , in fear of what you'll see. 

Miguel, in the corner, with a white hot grip on his beer bottle. Catching that stormy gaze, something just clicks. Something resembling power, absolutely intoxicating, that heady rush you got from kissing someone else. Or, more accurately, getting a reaction from your roommate. Notoriously unwavering, and yet … he reveals a gap in his armour. A silent swipe to the ribs that doesn't kill, but draws blood. 

People are dispersing now, growing tired of the games. Lyla darts off; with the attention span of an excited pomeranian, and the excessive alcohol, she's already lost interest. You take a breather, sinking into plush cushions and catch Miguel's eye. In the commotion, he's tossing his beer and walking up to you, as if gearing up to say something. 

Someone sits into the seat besides you: tall and handsome, but definitely not Miguel. It's Jun, who smells like fresh flowers and cut grass, nudging your side. 

"You're good at that," He says, with a little smile. 

"Good at what?" You say, confused. 

"That kiss." He seems a little bashful, probably sobering up. "It was… good. "

"Not…" You're distracted, eyes flicking over to find Miguel. He's gone. "Not my best work, I think."

He stretches an arm around the back of the sofa, caging you in a little closer, and all you can do is blink up at him. 

"....you want to try again?" 

He's handsome. He's flirting . And he's present; able to give you clear signs that he wants you. It's more than a certain someone can provide, and you're left with a deep-seated need that no-one else seems to be able to fulfill. Four words ring out in your head, clanging around like pinball. You. Might. Get. Laid. 

It's enough to have you leaning up against Jun, a hand tracing circles in his thigh and fluttering your lashes as best you can. Hopefully it's a look that's says seductive, and not pink-eye. This far into the night, you don't quite have the energy to care. 

Heavy petting and drunk giggling; you spend God knows how long in that little room, whispering stupid shit to each other. You introduce yourself, and so does he. A brief overview of your life; and you find yourself desperately trying to skip the small talk. Jun works with computers. You're a student. Jun is very good with his hands. You're a visual learner. Everything seems to fall into place. 

Soon enough, you're swapping numbers and leading him out the door to somewhere more private . His apartment ; you find yourself hoping, as you make your way downstairs. 

He's draping a jacket on your shoulders, and you wade through the crowd. The lights are spinning a little less, you find, holding onto Jun's palm. In that great big room; people packed in like black and white sardines; all you're looking for is something to tether yourself to – or someone. Relationships, you've learnt, were overrated. You're young, and single, and gorgeous ; able to bag whoever you want. And what do you want? A hookup, clearly; something simple and uncomplicated, without the mess of feelings to untangle yourself from in the morning. 

There's a commotion from a corner of the room, and Jun pulls you back; craning his head to see. A jumble of people, crowded around the epicentre. He nods towards the bustle. 

"Isn't that Miguel?" He shouts over the bass, and your eyes widen.

You push past, trying to get a better look. Flashing lights, pumping music. In the red and blue and black, he's there ; hand wiping a bloodied nose. He's saying something; and a couple of guys surround Miguel, giving rough shoves and shouting something you can't hear. Someone throws a punch and he takes it, barely shifting at the continuous blows. 

It's a sobering sight, and you're worried; looking left and right at the onslaught of bystanders.

"Why isn't he fighting back ?" You say, barely audible. No-one's doing anything but watching; one or two even pulling their phones out to record. The sight makes you sick, and you're shouting his name, trying to get closer. Like a gunshot, sudden and sharp and cutting through the noise, he locks eyes with you. His eyes dark, with that same look he gave you not too long ago. 

Another cruel kick, and he's down on one knee, clutching at his stomach. You notice the broken glass, the blood in his shirt. He's goading them, and still , he refuses to fight back. 250 pounds soaking wet and at least 6"5; he's a fucking killer – and everyone knows it. Why won't he fight back?

There's a pounding at your skull, and something deep and dark and complicated that twists around your insides, threatening to rise up – and then.. and then… 

The lights are turned on, and the music stops. Lyla's at the stairs shouting obscenities; telling everyone to get the fuck out, or I'm calling the cops. 

People disperse out the doors, but only a few rush towards Miguel. You do, of course, and then Jess is by his side to help him up. He must look worse than he feels because despite the bruising and pouring blood; he pinches the bridge of his nose like he always does, as if it's just a headache. He's laughing ; the smug bastard; incisors sharp and dangerous and flashing pearly white. Your heart's still racing; betraying complicated feelings. As the last dregs drip out of Lyla's apartment, you're all left to deal with the aftermath. 

Jess looks shaken, Lyla's sobering up; and you're holding Miguel's hand, elbow deep in the oil spill. 

_

_

_

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[bridgetotheskyyy]

Helping Friends - Yuji

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, smut, fluff, yuji is the cutest thing ugh

A/n: This was fun! Day 7: Stuck in wall. But I'm tired so I will be taking a break! Kinktober is hard phew! Excuse the horrible title its 11pm and I'm seeing double asasdf

Word count: 1.4k

Read on ao3

“I need your help.”

“Hm?” Yuji blinked. “Sure thing. What for?”

“Just … Just come over.”

“But ―”

“You’ll see when you get here,” You said through gritted teeth, and of course you were frustrated, but it almost seemed like you were struggling against something. 

“Okay, be over in a sec!”

You hung up. Yuji stared at the black square of his screen. Now, he was curious.

Yuji muffled a snicker.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not!”

“You are!” You wiggled your ass at him. “I can hear you! I’m stuck, I’m not deaf!”

Yuji sobered. It really wasn’t funny if you took a second to consider the repercussions of it all. “It’s lucky I have a key.”

You sighed. “D’you think you can get me out?”

Yuji saluted. “I’m on it!”

He maneuvered around you, careful to avoid your ass sticking out of the wall. He swallowed; of all the days to wear a skirt. He gripped your hips and pulled ―

“Ow, ow!” You wagged your legs. 

Yuji stopped immediately. “Sorry!”

You sighed. “God, I’m gonna be stuck here forever.”

“Don’t think like that!” Yuji said. “How’d this even happen?”

“Remember the hole in the wall I said I’d fix?” You said. “Well …”

Yuji brainstormed. “Maybe I need to loosen you up.”

“Well, obviously ―”

“No, I mean, with something …”

“I have some lube in the drawer of my nightstand?”

Yuji blushed, figured he better not ask, even though now his unhelpful images of you lubing up with your pretty pussy made his mouth water. 

“O ― Okay.”

He strode to your bedroom and fished into the drawer, finding the lube without issue. Kneeling on the floor of the wall, he spilled lube into a puddle in his palm before fixing it around the outline of your body. 

“Ugh,” You said. “This better work.”

He pulled, gently, using increasingly more powerful thrusts to exert you out of your self made hole. Still, you wouldn’t budge.

“Ah, damn, I can’t …” Yuji kept pulling, careful to not injure you, but continued to face resistance. “I’d end up taking this whole wall down.”

You whined. “What’s wrong now?”

Yuji reddened as he toyed with the elastic of your panties. “I think these need to come off,” he murmured.

He waited for your rage, for you to call him a pervert ― he’d deserve it anyway, he had to go and say it after all ― but instead you simply sighed.

“Do it.”

Yuji’s eyes widened. “What ―?”

“We have to get rid of as much friction as possible and I don’t wanna be stuck here forever!” You said. 

Yuji fought the urge to eye the way your panties hugged your cunt and failed. 

“But …”

“It’s okay, Yuji.”

With trembling hands, he hooked a finger under the elastic and pulled. They stuck on the fat of your thighs. Yuji bit into his cheek. Your cunt was right there. Perfect and plump and ― and did he detect a bit of wetness there, between the plush of your outer folds?

No, he was twilight-zoning. That’s all it was.

“What’s going back there?” Your voice took Yuji out of his reverie.

“N ― Nothing!” Yuji adjusted on his knees, desperate to avoid the raging erection making it hard to move much anywhere in any direction. “Okay, let’s try this again.”

Yuji hooked hands around your now-naked hips, tried a few jerky pulls. Your lower half budged if only by an inch.

“I think it’s working!”

“Good! Keep pulling!”

Yuji maneuvered behind you. Bad move. His gaze flickered to your perfect ass, and he could only imagine him in this position in a different context. His hips thrusting into you, your ass rippling with the power of his … Shit. Focus. Focus.

Yuji concentrated and tugged you toward one more time ―

Your lower half jerked, your ass colliding with his crotch.

“Ah!” 

Yuji drew in a sharp breath, kneeled over his hardon. “Sorry …” His voice was so weak.

“Is that … Is that you?”

Yuji froze. “Wha ― What do you mean?”

“I mean …” Your sock-covered foot brushed against his leg. “Is that you, that I feel?”

Yuji hung his head in shame. “Ye ― Yeah …” He tried for a laugh, but it came out as nervous as he was. “I’m really sorry, I just ―”

“Maybe …” You trailed, rubbing your thighs together. “ … we can make the most of this situation.”

Yuji braved a hand against your thigh, caressing the skin. “You mean …?”

“I think we should fuck while I’m like this,” You said. Yuji had tunnel vision for your pussy and it was almost like it was talking to him, egging him on. Daring him to … “I mean, my panties are already down, aren’t they? You’d just have to …”

Your voice waned, most likely because you could hear his zipper coming down.

“You’d really let me, (Y/n)?” Yuji said, already freeing his aching cock to stroke. “You’re okay with this after all?”

“Yeah.” You sounded so breathless.

Fuck.

Yuji aligned his cock with your sweet, puffy lips. His eyes fluttered closed; his head slid against and between your outer folds, lathering his head with your translucent juices. Already, you felt so good. 

“Mmm, Yuji …” His cock twitched to hear his voice on your tongue. “You feel good ― I bet you’re big.”

Yuji’s cheeks warmed as he eyed the way your folds rippled against his aching member. “I think so.”

You wagged your ass in his face. “Prove it.”

Fuuuck.

He slid into you with ease. His mind reeled as your walls hugged him, inch by inch.  He settled a hand on one of your ass cheeks. “Feel so good …” he breathed out. He fixed a hand at one of your slippery hips to bring himself inside fully, his pubic hairs brushing against the plump of your ass. 

“Ahhh …!” Your voice was heavenly. “Yuji ―!”

With one hand on your slippery hip and another on the crest of your crack, Yuji rocked into you. The wall hole wobbled and knocked in time with his thrusts. His breath lay trapped in his lungs at the tight hug of your cunt. 

“Yu ― Yuji …!” You stammered, voice choked by surprise as he quickened his pace. 

Yuji licked his lips. He hoped you were impressed with him. His eyes fell lidded as he slipped into a trance, single-minded and sidetracked by nothing but the feel of you around him. Yuji’s breath escaped at last in a gasp as you rocked back to fuck him, too. 

Yuji lurched forward, chest against your back as he sped up, hips spanking into your ass. His sloppy hand spurred forward, past the curve of your abdomen to fox out your clit.

“Mmmm!” You fucked onto him messily, but it was impossible for you to keep up with Yuji’s pace.

He bent down to kiss the little bit of exposed skin from your ridden-up tank top, unsure whether or not you even felt it, would even know he’d done it. What you would feel is his fingers flicking at your clit ― and he was rewarded with a louder moan coupled with your legs quivering underneath him, and it was better than any praise you could’ve given him.

“Fuck!” Yuji heard a tap on the other side that must’ve been you slapping a hand to the floor. “I’m ― I’m close!”

Yuji left an even softer kiss to your ass cheek and straightened up again to adjust his pace. He nearly doubled over again at the clench of your pussy and knew instinctively you weren’t the only one.

Yuji crashed hips into you as you cried out. He grunted, holding your trembling lower half steady as you came around him, a jolt of inspiration spurring him to press a thumb into your gaping asshole. 

“Yuji!” 

He whined, spilling into you at the sound of his name. You milked him while he mindlessly thumbed you, lost in what he’d always wanted to experience: being inside you.

He gave a few more thrusts, falling over you again from the frantic stimuli ―

The hole around the two of you gave. Yuji face-planted on your back as you yelped. In an instant, he shielded you, sure the rest of the wall would give in and bury the two of you. 

It didn’t.

Quiet.

“Well ― um …” Yuji slid out of you because it seemed the least he could do. “That worked!”

You faced the floor, your shoulders bouncing with mirth. “I can’t believe this.”

He joined you. The laughter didn’t stop as he helped you dress and shave the wall chippings clinging to your body. He was ready to offer you his jacket when you stopped him ―

“Yuji, I’m fine!” You assured him, stopping him. “Really!”

“Hmm.” He scanned you. “Okay.”

You giggled. “And thanks for coming ― stop,” You added as Yuji started laughing again. “Thanks for your help.”

Yuji grinned. “You can always count on me.”

[changbunnies]

All About You, (18+)

♡ Pairing: Royal Knight/Bodyguard!Minho x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: royal au, historical au, arranged marriage au (reader only), age gap, angst, kind of forbidden love? (maybe more than kind of), basically porn with plot

♡ Word Count: 7.5k

♡ Summary: You, the princess who ran away from the castle after finding out your father, the king, has finalized your arranged marriage. Minho, your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, tasked with bringing you back home at all costs. When found, you hit Minho with a very interesting proposition- for him to be the one you share all your "firsts" with, instead of your inevitable husband.

♡ Warnings: age gap !! reader is ~23 while minho is in his 40s, please don't read if this makes you uncomfortable!, uneven power dynamics, outdated traditions and views on women to suit the setting, brief reference to death by guillotine, and death in general, mentions of injury and swordfighting

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): lowkey corruption kink, loss of virginity (reader), petnames (princess (mostly as a title), good girl), slight sub + dom dynamics, soft dom minho, submissive reader, a lot of kissing (should be expected from me atp), nipple play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), slight overstim, unprotected piv, multiple orgasms, creampie

♡ Notes: at this point i am determined to write a royal, historical au fic for every member, and my newest offering to you is minho <3 i was literally possessed writing this like once the idea hit my brain i had to get it out asap lmao you can also read the story on my ao3 here, and if you're interested you can also check out my fic rec and feedback blog @stray-dreams

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked. In recent years, he had one job, and one job only, and that was to take care of the princess. Make sure she’s safe, escort her to where she needs to be and watch over her at all times- that’s all. Not always an easy job, but one of vital importance that Minho took with utmost seriousness. In the 3 years it’s been since becoming your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, he never messed up this critically. 

You always had a rebellious streak and challenged authority, everyone in the castle knew that. And part of Minho’s job, apart from keeping you safe, was keeping you in check- and the king made it extremely clear that failing to do so was not an option. So he lost track of the amount of times he uttered the words “Princess, please think rationally,” or “Please consider your responsibility to the kingdom, don’t do this,” in a near desperate attempt to get you to listen to reason. 

And today, he fucked up the worst he ever had. He knew you were upset tonight, but he was under the impression he successfully calmed you down, and that you wouldn’t do anything rash. He turned his back to you, thinking the storm had been quelled, and that you’d listen to your father, even if doing so felt like pulling teeth. He underestimated however, just how deep your sadness and anger truly ran, and the very moment you saw an opening, you took it. 

You fled from the castle with blind determination, nowhere to go and with little of value in your hands, fueled purely by the desire to escape your unfair circumstances, and live your own life by your own means. You may not believe it, but Minho understood, and felt for you- he really did. But that didn’t change what his duty was, and even if it made you hate him, he had to do his job to the best of his ability. 

So now here he was, roaming the streets looking for you, the hours passing in a blur. You must’ve done a good job of concealing your identity, because no one he asked had seen a young woman matching your description, and as the minutes ticked by, and sunset turned to midnight, he was at a complete loss of what to do. He made record time combing the entire bustling town, stopping into places full to the brim with people in the hopes he’d catch a glimpse of you in the crowd, and yet there seemed to be no trace of you anywhere. 

It was easy for someone to hide their presence in a crowd, or in the rowdy environment of a tavern, and you were more than intelligent enough to blend into a crowd and divert attention away from yourself. It was entirely possible that Minho had seen you at some point, and simply didn’t realize it, though he liked to believe he’d recognize you anywhere, no matter what you wore. Minho scowled, clenching his teeth as he scanned the dark horizon of the treeline; should he check the outer walls of the town for a clue, or double back and check the streets again?

He doubts you made it out of the town easily, considering you likely had no money on your person and little experience with the realities of the world. You were intelligent, yes, but sheltered; he could easily imagine you quickly getting in over your head, thinking you could make it to the next town without issue, only to end up lost and in need of help, with no one for miles to hear your desperate cries. 

Fuck. If he couldn’t find you, his head would most certainly be meeting the cold steel of a guillotine. He had no family who would mourn his loss, but still, he wasn’t ready to face his mortality. And the king, despite being someone he could call a close friend, would spare no mercy if he failed to keep his one and only daughter safe. But really, there was more to it than just the threat of death that kept him searching for you. Believe it or not, he genuinely wanted you safe and well, and he'd do anything to ensure you made it back home, even if it made you curse him for the rest of his days. 

As if God himself heard his prayers and decided to grant him a miracle, Minho sees you- there, on the outskirts of town, holding your cold hands up to your face and letting your breath warm them. It’s dark, the street barely even illuminated enough to discern your recognizable features, but he knows without a doubt that it's you standing there in the cold street, because truly, he knows you anywhere. 

By the time you realize you’ve been spotted and recognized, it’s already much too late to flee. Minho approached you with utmost haste, reaching out and grabbing your arm, lest you make the foolish decision to try to escape again. His hold, while not rough enough to hurt you, is firm, and it only takes one attempt at pulling your arm from his hold to know this is it; your escape attempt has failed, and you’ll be dragged back to the castle and reprimanded for your “temper tantrum.” 

Your father never listens to you, no matter how hard you try to make him understand and see your point of view. Maybe if you were born a boy, your opinions would be important to him, and he’d see you are more than an object to pawn off to whatever man gave him the most political power. “Princess-” “I’m not going home,” you interject before he even has a chance, though you already know it’s in vain. There is no avoiding returning to your glorified prison now that Sir Minho has you in his grasp. 

He sighs, but his face changes to one of sympathy, his grip on your arm loosening ever so slightly. “Can we at least go to an inn room? It’s not safe for a young lady to be on the streets at night,” he reasons with you, as gently as he can manage. Normally Minho is quite stern with you, but you get the impression that he feels being stern isn’t the right approach tonight. You’re known for expressing yourself very vocally, even when doing so is extremely ill-advised, and he is well aware of how opinionated and fiery you are. 

But treating this display as anything other than a genuine act of desperation, a culmination of years of perceived disrespect and conformity, would be another critical error- one he can’t afford to make. So he will be firm, yes, but gentle in his approach. You frown as you look at him; you’re stubborn by nature, and part of you wants to fight against him until the bitter end, but he’s not wrong about the streets being unsafe for you at night. You know he won’t let you escape again come morning, but that’ll have to be a problem for later; for right now, you really should heed his advice and go to an inn for the night. 

“Fine,” you concede, much to Minho’s relief. He could’ve forced you to go with him if he really needed to, but he’d rather avoid doing something so unpleasant. He leads you to a nearby tavern, which is still bustling with activity even at the late hour. He keeps you close as he pushes through the crowd of rowdy drunks to the dual innkeep-bartender, hoping that there is still a room available. The man departs, coming back with a key dangling in hand, “You’re in luck. Last room’s all yours.” 

Minho thanks the man and pulls out his satchel to pay him, leaving a few extra coins as a tip before stashing it back in his pocket, along with the key he was given, and the two of you go up the stairs together. “There’s only one bed,” you comment as you step inside the room, though Minho doesn’t seem to care much about that fact. “That’s fine, don’t plan on sleeping anyways,” he says as he removes his leather scabbard from his back, resting it against the back of the chair in the corner of the room. 

You frown as you sit on the bed and watch him; he must’ve been in a hurry when he received word you fled from the castle, as he wasn’t wearing any of his armor, strictly in casual wear you’d very rarely seen him in. Probably for the best, you think, because if anyone saw a royal knight desperately searching the streets, multiple alarms would be raised. He lights the fireplace, hoping to quickly spread some heat throughout the cold room, before he sits in the chair, crossing his arms and watching you carefully. 

Deserved, you suppose. How is he supposed to trust you’re not going to flee at the first available moment just as before? You certainly don’t make his job easy for him; he can’t take his eyes off you for a second. The silence between you lingers for some time, the crackling of the fire the only sound either of you hear, apart from the muffled patrons enjoying their drinks downstairs. Minho, despite his relaxed posture, looks like he’d be ready to jump up at a moment's notice should he need to. 

You sigh; should you just try to sleep? It’d feel awkward and uncomfortable to try to fall asleep with someone's eyes boring holes into you, but you really didn’t give him much of a choice. “Do you want to tell me why you ran away from the castle?” Minho asks suddenly, breaking the tempered silence between you. “You already know the answer to that,” you respond, crossing your own arms now. 

“Is marrying Sir Jin really so bad?” he asks, and you scoff, rolling your eyes. “Yes, obviously. I don’t want to. Not that you or my father care about me or anything I think.” Minho’s brow furrows, the frown on his face growing. “Princess, you know that’s not true. I do care about you.” “Do you? I haven’t been able to tell in the slightest,” you counter a bit harshly, “and you could help me if you wanted to, you know. I’d be fine out there if I was with you.”

Okay, maybe you’re not being fair to Minho right now. You do know he cares, but realistically, what is he supposed to do? If he disobeyed your fathers orders, he’d be lucky if his only punishment was a swift death. He was assigned to you because your father trusts him to do the right thing and follow orders dutifully, a trust that is usually not misplaced. But he has to admit, the more and more time he spends with you, the more he feels for you. 

Minho never knew your father, the king, to be an unreasonable or cruel man, but in your eyes, he might as well be the devil himself. And maybe he is cruel- because how do you strip someone of their freedom and choices for your own gain, and not see the harm it causes, the wrong in it? You are more than a pawn, more than a subject, more than his daughter- you are a person. A person with thoughts, feelings, and opinions as real as any mans, who did not deserve to be treated lesser than for the simple crime of being born a girl. 

But what is Minho if not an upholder of the status quo? He was just a single man, and even if he recognized how unfairly you were treated in comparison to the golden child that was your elder brother, what was he supposed to do? He always performed his tasks dutifully and without question, and it wasn’t until he met you that he began to struggle with what he should do, and what he wants to do.

And maybe he could get you out of this town, help you live a quiet, modest life somewhere new, away from the watchful eye of your father. Where he could be your protector, same as now, but without the guilt, burden, or threats. You know you shouldn’t take your frustrations about your life out on Minho, but he’s really all you have. You trust him with your life, and he’s shown you multiple times that he cares about you beyond the duty he has to you, or to your father. He's your only confidant, the only person in the world you can rely on. 

Your eyes linger on the scar across his nose- he got it protecting you, the other man’s sword barely missing his eyes and cutting just across his face, and it was only one of many scars he obtained in his service to you. He’d pick you up and run with you in his arms when you were injured, he’d fight off attackers without breaking a sweat, sustain injury after injury all to make sure you were safe. You’d watch his back, always stunned and mesmerized at the ease at which he cut down your enemies, as if they were nothing but paper. 

When he’d turn back to you, breathing heavy and sweat only just starting to trickle on his brow, his eyes would turn from the harshest winter chill to the gentle warmth of a spring morning. He was quiet, stern, but his care ran far deeper than one would think just by looking at him, and all you had to do to see the true depth of his feelings was look in his eyes. So you knew it was unfair to accuse him of not caring about you, to expect him to go above and beyond for you, to ask that he go against your father to give you what you want, but you were just so sad, frustrated, angry, that you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Maybe you’ll grow to love him if you give him a chance,” Minho suggests; you both know that’s never going to happen, but what else can he say? He never married, and had no children, dedicated to his duty as he was; he had no real advice to offer someone when it came to love, romance, and the like, but he imagined it wasn’t impossible to fall in love if you just met Sir Jin with an open mind.

But as stated, that’s never going to happen. You’re stubborn to a fault, and once you’ve decided something, there’s no changing it. The best Minho can ever manage to do is get you to reconsider, but even then, you’re still likely to go about things the way you originally wanted to, with no regard for consequences or keeping up appearances. You’re a fiery woman, there was no doubt about it, and you don’t let go of things easily. 

“The mere thought of giving that man all my firsts makes me sick, it’s vile,” you scrunch up your nose, making your distaste for the man very clear. Minho doesn’t even think you’ve actually met the man yet, but you’ve already decided you hate him, that you don’t want to marry him, and so you’ll be firmly stuck in your opinion no matter what anyone says. 

“Maybe this isn’t advice I should be giving you, but.. You don’t necessarily have to. To give him your firsts, or love him. Find someone you do love, even if you have to keep it a secret, and hold him with all you’ve got. It still wouldn’t be ideal, of course, but.. Well, it’d be something, at least.” Really, Minho is supposed to encourage you to be an obedient daughter and listen to your father without question, but he knows you well enough to know that’s a fool's errand. 

You’re never going to listen, never going to be obedient, never going to stop being opinionated. So what’s the next, most realistic piece of advice he can give? Lie, of course. Make your father and inevitable husband believe you’re a good, obedient wife and daughter, and then go live the life you really want behind their backs. It's dishonest as all hell, and there would be consequences if you got caught, but if you’re going to be miserable no matter what you do, you might as well try, right? It’s what Minho would do if he were you, anyways. 

“What about you?” you ask and Minho raises a brow in question. “What about me?” he asks, and what you respond with makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his lungs. “What if I gave my firsts to you?” Did he hear you right? There must be some mistake with his ears, there’s absolutely no way you said what he thinks you did. “You.. what?” Surely you can’t be serious about this. You’re the princess, and he’s just the man who happens to be your guard, a man who is your fathers age at that. 

But the way you look at him, he can tell you’re not joking in the slightest. “Princess, I couldn’t possibly accept that,” Minho says sternly, his arms no longer crossed but instead resting on the arms of the chair, hands beginning to grip tightly so he can ground himself and try to make sense of this insane situation. “Why not? I’d be happier if I gave it to someone like you. I trust you,” you say so nonchalantly it makes his head reel. What the fuck is happening right now? 

Minho was the ideal man, at least in your opinion. He was handsome, mature, realistic and practical, knew how to reel you in without disregarding the root of what you feel or being disrespectful to you. He never dismissed how you felt, made you feel over emotional or like a fool who overreacts; he’d ask you to see reason, sure, urge you to think more before acting, but he never, never made you feel like your feelings were invalid. And he genuinely cared about you, and you liked him, were attracted to him, so if the opportunity presented itself then.. Why not take the chance? 

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked. You were just freshly 20 when Minho first met you and became your guard, and hard as he tried to never see you beyond the platonic, he’s always viewed you as an attractive young woman. He liked your fiery spirit, liked how you had the bravery and gall to challenge authority, a skill that in recent months he felt he was sorely lacking. Your attitude was refreshing, and despite your circumstances, you never acted like a damsel in need of his help. 

In a different life, in another world, maybe you two could have met as equals, not painfully stuck to the rules of an unfair, unforgiving reality. You’d be each other's foil, you, the impassioned dreamer with as many thoughts and ideas as there were stars in the sky, and he the realist, who didn’t dim your light but tempered it into a steady, sustainable flame. You’d take him out on adventures, out of the strict box of his comfort zone, and he’d ground you more firmly to reality, never discouraging your dreams but making sure you took the necessary steps in the right way, responsibly, matching one another perfectly, complementary and meant for each other. 

But that’s not your reality, and you both know it. There would never be any coming back from this if you go through with it, and there’s no ideal, happy future for you two to share. “I’m not so disillusioned to think this would be anything other than sex for you,” you continue, and he swallows, mind still racing impossibly, “but it’d be much more meaningful for me with you than some bastard I don’t like in the slightest.” 

You’re wrong. So wrong, and you don’t even know it. It would never be “just sex” with you. You mean much, much more to him than you even realize. “You won’t regret asking a man like me? There’d be no taking it back once it’s done,” Minho can’t help but ask, rationality and reason desperately trying to gain control. 

Despite what your father may believe, you’re a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. And this is a decision you make with full knowledge of what it means for you, more than willing to accept whatever consequences may arise for committing such a sin. In an ideal world, you’d be allowed to love who you wish, live where you wish, do what you wish. 

But this isn’t an ideal world, and if there is only one thing you can ever be granted in this life that feels as if it isn’t even your own, it would be this- to have one night, just one night, where you can be the person you want to be, with Minho by your side. “You’re free to reject me if you’re not attracted to me, but.. My only regret would have been not trying. So I ask, are you not attracted to me?” 

He looks you over carefully, grip on the armrests tightening. Admitting that he’s attracted to you may as well be a death sentence. But he can’t lie to you, completely at your mercy. Fuck the king, it’s you he’s really loyal to. All he’s ever done, all he ever will do, it’s always for you. He’s always tried to act in your best interest, to do the right thing, to keep you safe and protected. But does keeping you safe even matter if you’re miserable? 

“I am,” Minho swallows, answering honestly despite his better judgment, “You have no idea how attracted to you I am.” “So why hesitate?” you ask, fingers trail down your lap, over your knees, to where the very bottom of your dress lies. He watches you, eyes darting from your hands back to your face. You’re watching him too, carefully, considering his every reaction before you make your next move, impressively calculated. 

You take the hem of your dress in your hands, pulling it up leisurely, getting it halfway up your thighs, and Minho is in front of you in an instant, his hands grabbing your wrists and stopping you from lifting it any further. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Princess,” he breathes, voice low and strained; he can’t lose control of his desires, but fuck, you’re making it so hard. You look up at him, meeting his gaze with the same fiery determination you always have, but there’s more there than just that this time. Desire, want, need- all for him.

Fuck it. He’s going to get burned, but maybe it’s worth it. You’ll be his funeral pyre, engulfing him in your flame until all that remains are the ashes of the man he was supposed to be. And what a beautiful way to end his life it will be, lost between your thighs, feeling your nails dig and claw at his skin. He lets go of your wrists, one of his hands coming to cup your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip. 

“Has anyone ever kissed you, Princess?” he asks and you give a slight shake of the head, breathing a soft “No..” He hums, and there’s a twisted sort of pleasure he derives from knowing he’ll be your first in every conceivable way. You’re not “innocent,” he knows you’re not, but there’s something about being your first kiss, your first cock, your first everything that makes him crazy. 

“And you want me to be the first one to kiss you?” he follows up with another question, corners of his mouth threatening to twist into a smile when you nod, a soft, honest “yes” leaving your lips effortlessly. He leans down towards you, keeping your head tilted up so he can easily meet your lips. He does so softly, treating you with care. His lips are softer than you expected, and the feeling of them against your own fills you with butterflies. 

He carefully tilts you back, and you let your body fall back onto the mattress, head hitting the surprisingly soft pillows. Minho crawls over you, spreading your legs apart just enough to get between them, your dress now hiked all the way up your thighs. He’s hovering over you, looking down at you with so much love and lust and that it leaves you speechless. “I’ll need you to listen to me tonight. Can you do that for me?” he asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw, under your ear, your neck. 

You can, because it’s Minho. He’d never hurt you, never try to control you, never make you feel lesser than. So you can listen to him, because you trust him with your care; he’ll take good care of you, you know he will. He smiles when you nod, and you see him smile so rarely that it makes your heart skip a beat; his role always requires him to be so stern and straight faced, that seeing him smile down at you like this is enough to melt you into a puddle. 

“You’re a good girl when you want to be, hmm?” he hums against your neck, resuming his trail of kisses against your skin, and you can’t explain why, but the words and tone he says them in makes your stomach flip. If you were in a different world, and didn’t have to return home to the castle tomorrow, he’d take his time marking your neck, filling it with pretty shades of blue, purple, and red, sinking his teeth into your soft, supple skin.

He just knows you’d look so pretty like that, and the way you react when his breath tickles your skin and his lips linger, tells him you’d like it too. His fingers trail down your body, finding the hem of your dress and pulling it up over your chest. You lift your back off the bed when he separates from your neck, pulling your dress off the rest of the way and discarding it to the floor. He kisses you as he fiddles with the straps of your bra, effortlessly unhooking it in the back and pulling it down your arms and off your body. 

He may have never married, but he’s no stranger to being with and pleasuring women. And he’ll make sure he makes this a night you’ll always remember for all the right reasons. Capturing your lips in another kiss, his hands take in your now bare breasts, gently kneading and squeezing. You try to squeeze your legs together, but his place between your thighs stops the act from happening, and he chuckles against your lips when he realizes what you’re doing. 

“Be patient, Princess, I’ll take good care of you,” he whispers before kissing you again, and you let out a small whine, not knowing exactly what you want but knowing you want something. You gasp when he takes your nipples between your fingers and pinches them, not too hard of course, but enough to give him the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your body shudders, you feel dizzy with pleasure and excitement, and the feeling of his tongue circling yours is impossibly intoxicating. 

One of his hands travels down, over your stomach, coming between your bodies to feel your heat over your panties. He’s barely even begun and you’re already soaking the fabric, your eager anticipation for more of his touch palpable beyond all else. He nips at your bottom lip, gently tugging it between his teeth before soothing the sting with kitten licks, his hand slipping inside your panties to feel how slick you’ve gotten directly. 

Your body jolts when his fingers run between your folds, and he barely has to move them at all to get his fingers completely coated in your juices. He pulls back to look at you, taking in the sight of your flushed face and swollen lips, pretty and perfect. You’re panting, breathless, overwhelmed in the best way possible. You keen when his fingers rub over your clit in circles, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you lift your head from the pillows to watch. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, suppressing a grin when you whine and quickly nod your head. “Want more, want you,” you mutter, the most timid you’ve ever been in regards to a man. He coos, giving you a sweet kiss as he continues his stimulation to your sensitive spot. “Remember what I said? Patience, Princess, you’ll get what you want. We can’t rush and have you getting hurt, can we?” 

You pout as you concede, and God, he finds that so cute; he’s never seen you actually act shy and pouty before, and it makes him want to give you the entire world. He’ll give you everything you want, anything you ask for, but he’ll have to remember to tease you first so he can see that cute expression on your face before he gives in to your whims. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and ready for my cock, so just be a good girl and follow my lead until then. You can do that for me easily, can’t you?”

Another shy nod, another adorable flushed look that makes his cock throb in his trousers. It was a little intimidating for you, knowing how experienced Minho must be due to his age, and feeling like you must fall short in comparison to other women, women who knew what they were doing, but really, that was just your own insecurity talking. He didn’t mind at all that you were inexperienced; in fact, it excited him for reasons he didn’t entirely understand. 

Maybe it was the knowledge that he was the first to touch your skin, or maybe that someone as determined and fiery as you are is allowing yourself to concede control, to let him be in charge of your pleasure, trusting him to bring you to utmost bliss. What bigger display of trust could you ever show him? Your glassy, pleading eyes, begging him for more but still waiting for it just as he asked- you’re too good for him. He’s going to ruin you. 

He takes his fingers away, and you have to physically stop yourself from whining at the lack of contact, lest he remind you again about “being patient.” “Open your mouth for me,” Minho requests, and though you are a bit confused, you do as he asks immediately, obeying without question. Fuck, that’s hot; the image of you, mouth open, tongue slightly sticking out and waiting to receive whatever he gives you is something he never wants to forget. 

Minho slides two of his fingers into your mouth, instructing you to lick, to get his fingers nice and wet. Truthfully, you were more than lubricated enough to take his fingers without this step, but he couldn’t resist the urge to see you this way. He pushes his fingers in your mouth down to the knuckle, and you persist with coating them in your saliva even as you gag and tears prick the corners of your eyes. 

He showers you with praise, slipping his fingers out of your mouth when he feels satisfied with the work you’ve done on them, kissing your cheeks, feeling the heat of your face on his lips. Slipping his hand back inside your panties, he presses the tips of his wet fingers to your hole, and you instinctively suck in a breath, body unconsciously tensing from the anticipation. “You have to relax, Princess, it won’t feel good if you’re tense,” he explains sweetly, shaking his head when you mutter a soft apology. 

“Don’t be sorry, not for that. Just focus on me, hmm? On this,” he whispers, his lips lingering on yours in a deep, impassioned kiss. His fingers stay completely still until he feels your body start to release its tension, heeding his advice to focus more on his kisses than the motion of his fingers. He keeps kissing you even as the first of his fingers finally starts to push inside you, and you moan into his mouth, hot pleasure licking your skin. 

He moves his finger in and out slowly, making sure you’re well adjusted before he pushes in another one, hooking his fingers to find that delicious sweet spot he knows will have you crying his name in no time. You gasp loudly when he finds it, your hands twisting the sheets beneath you between your fingers, your entire body trembling. It feels so good you almost can’t breathe, and when he picks up his pace, hitting your spot over and over as he brings his thumb to your clit, you know you won’t last long at all.

“M-Minho, I’m- I’m gonna-” you try to warn him, but the words die in your throat, the pleasure too overwhelming to continue to try and form a sentence. He simply hums, continuing his motions until your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, sharp, shuddery gasps and moans tumbling from your lips as your orgasm takes you. “That’s it, just let go, just like that, I’ve got you,” he praises, pressing kisses to your hot skin, helping you ride out your high.

Before you can even fully recollect your breath and get your racing heart back under control, he’s pushing a third finger inside, the trembling in your body intensifying from the addition. “You need more to get ready for me,” he tells you, and in your fucked out state all you can do is nod, taking his word as gospel truth, “need to stretch you good to make sure my cock fits.” All you can do is lay there and take the onslaught of pleasure, unable to think of about anything other than how full and good his fingers make you feel. 

You don’t even register that he’s moved your down your body and tugged your panties to the side until his tongue is meeting your clit, swirling around it in expertly practiced circles, making you desperately cry out his name. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging harshly as your hips buck up to keep feeling the delicious sensation his tongue provides you. He flattens his tongue and lets you grind against it as you want, the motions of his fingers not stuttering or ceasing despite the movement of your hips. 

You feel the familiar heat pooling your stomach, another orgasm approaching quickly, the sounds you release turning into desperate whines and whimpers as you chase the feeling. It only takes a few more rolls of your hips and thrusts of his fingers to have you releasing all over his face, your juices gushing around his fingers. He sits up and pulls his fingers out when your body falls limp, chest heaving and ears ringing as you try to recover from the mind-blowing experience you just had. 

Your eyes are closed, and you can feel his weight shift, can hear the soft clink of his belt unbuckling, followed by the rustling of clothes. You open your eyes to see Minho’s cock is now out, his hand lazily pumping it and spreading the pre-cum that accumulated and dripped over his time focusing on you. You reach a hand out to touch it, to replace his hand with your own, but he grabs your hand before you can, instead making you intertwine your fingers. 

“Tonight’s all about you, Princess. Don’t worry about taking care of me,” he says, kissing the back of your hand and then holding it down right above your head; you’re not quite pinned, easily able to snake your hand out of his hold if you wanted to, but you have to admit, you like the feeling of his hand keeping yours held down. He rubs his cock between your folds before he lines himself up with your entrance, though you didn’t miss the subtle smirk on his face when you whined from the feeling of his tip rubbing against your clit.

“Squeeze my hand if you need to,” Minho tells you before taking your free hand and bringing it up to his shoulder, “and hold onto me.” Your heart squeezes in your chest; the hidden romantic in you yearns to tell him you love him, to thank him for taking such good care of you, to express how you never want this night to end, but you know that would be a mistake. Neither of you can afford to let your emotions spill out, so you swallow them down the best you can, deciding to just live in this moment, to experience it for all that it is and all that it means for you.

The initial push is slow, and thanks to his diligent preparation, there is little physical pain or discomfort you experience from the stretch of his cock. A slight sting, sure, but nothing you can’t easily handle, and it’s barely even recognizable when compared to the pleasant fullness you feel. So when you squeeze his hand, and your eyes well with tears, it’s not because you are pained; it’s because you finally have something you want, a happiness you thought would forever elude you.

He takes his free hand and wipes away the tears from your eyes, a soft look of concern on his face. “Hurts?” he asks, but you shake your head quickly. “Feels good, I just.. I..” you struggle with the words, knowing you can’t express how you actually feel even if you felt you could. “I know. You don’t have to say it, I know,” Minho speaks to you softly, and the kiss he gives you very nearly makes you sob.

There’s still a few inches left before he’s fully inside you, and he pushes the remainder in slowly as he continues to kiss you, his free hand now rubbing soothing circles on your hip with his thumb. Minho does well at maintaining composure, staying firmly in control of himself and his body despite the way your walls squeeze and suck him in, despite the way you whimper when you feel him throb, or cry out against his lips when his tip kisses your deepest spots.

“That’s a good girl, taking all I give you, doing so well,” he praises you some more, and you love when he tells you how good you’re doing if the way you clench around him is any indicator. “Fuck, Princess-” he groans when he finally starts to move, pulling out and pressing back in much more slowly than he normally would, but the wet friction you provide him is delicious. “Minho, I-” you start, interrupted by a sharp gasp when he finds your sweet spot with his cock.

He looks at you as he stills his hips, patiently waiting for you to continue in case what you have to say is important, or a request for him to stop. You swallow, face heating up but determined to get out what you want to say. “J-Just this once, I don’t want to be the princess. Call me by name, please-” Oh, that’s what you want? He can do that, easily; he’s already groaned your name countless times in the privacy of his room, stroking his cock to the thought of you.

The sound of your name falling from his lips as he resumes the thrust of his hips has you clenching hard, stars erupting in your vision as he picks up his pace, beginning to quickly and mercilessly hit your spot, over and over again. He takes one of your legs and props it up over his shoulder, allowing more of his cock to fill you up, the creaking of the bed and the sound of skin slapping beginning to overpower the noise from downstairs.

Taking his other hand away from yours, you’ll have to forgive him, he licks his fingers and then brings them to your clit, wanting nothing more than to see and feel you release on his cock. It only takes a few more thrusts and circles from his fingers to have you crying out his name as you cum, fingers digging into the sheets beneath you as your body shakes and legs tremble. But Minho hasn’t cum yet, so he’s not quite done with you, not that you mind in the slightest; you’ll let him chase his pleasure as long as he wishes, even if it leaves you a drooling, fucked out mess in the end.

He pulls out of you, just long enough to sit against the headboard, and then he’s pulling you on top of him, guiding you to sink back down on his cock and sit fully in his lap. The new position has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, Minho guiding the movement of your hips with his hands as he thrusts up into you. He’s quite literally doing all the work, but that’s perfectly fine; this night is supposed to be about you, after all, and he doesn’t want you to lift a pretty little finger. Just let him use you a little until he cums, that’s all he needs.

You’re panting against his neck, head laid on his shoulder and nails digging into the skin of his back beneath his shoulder blades. The sting of your nails in his skin is just how he imagined it to be, and his head is falling back against the headboard, low grunts and groans of your name leaving freely as his cock throbs and twitches, getting closer and closer to his release. He uses one of his hands to grab your face and lift it up to his, crashing his lips to yours in a desperate, impassioned display of love and lust.

A few more snaps of his hips and you feel his cum spurting inside you in long, thick ropes, the sensation sending you forward into yet another orgasm of your own, your desperate sounds muffled only by Minho’s mouth on yours. Your body collapses against his when the moment slows to a stop, both of your chests heaving and breaths heavy as you lie against him, his arms wrapped around you snuggly and keeping you upright against his chest. 

You can hear the quick, erratic beating of his heart as he catches his breath, looking up at him to see his eyes closed and sweat trailing down his brow towards his cheek. He looks beautiful like this, you think; you hope he thought the same of you. Even as his cock starts to soften, neither of you move, and though your legs protest and beg to be stretched out, you refuse to leave your spot on Minho’s lap.

“Are you alright, Princess?” he asks once he’s collected himself, pushing your hair from your face and wiping the sweat from your brow. “Mhm, just want to stay like this,” you reply, and Minho smiles softly, rubbing over your shoulders and down your back in a sweet gesture of comfort. You’re silent like this for some time, just simply enjoying the feeling of him, the sound of the crackling fire, the warmth he and this room provides you.

“Does my happiness really have to end here?” you can’t help but quietly ask, and Minho is quiet for a moment, carefully considering before he speaks. In a different world, in a different time, in a different place, maybe the two of you are meant to be. There’s comfort in imagining yourself there, truly happy with Minho, letting him care for you while not snuffing out the flame that is your pride, ambition, and spirit.

It’s not meant to be, you both know that to be true. To be with each other required great risk, sacrifice, hardship. But again he has to wonder, is being safe worth the cost of happiness? Would you even truly be “alive” if your every moment was spent miserably? He doesn’t want to see the very core of what makes you you be snuffed out by selfish, idiotic men and their expectations of what you should be.

You’re much younger than him, and it would be impossible for him to be there for you for the rest of your life, but he can be for the rest of his, at least. “Maybe not,” he answers, unsure of what the future holds for the two of you, but not entirely ready to give up so easily. He could accept his fate, accept that love is something out of his reach, but it’s your happiness on the line that makes him want to fight for it. 

There’s a lot he could lose by helping you escape this life you feel trapped in, but he’d rather see you happy than wasting your days away in the castle, subservient to a man you loathe. Your love isn’t meant to be, but that’s okay; he’ll help you all the same. He’s loyal to you, and only you, he’s decided- so if you make your future husband, your father, the entire kingdom your enemy, then they’ll be his enemy too. And it’ll all be worth it just to see you smile for a little bit longer.

[gloomwitchwrites]

Rainy Reunion

Aragorn x Female Reader

Dedicated to @protosslady

Content & Warnings: light angst, reunion after a long absence, yearning, kissing, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.6k

Aragorn left nearly a month ago with no vow to return. But a great shadow moves across the land, and Aragorn returns to make sure you have not been swept up by the darkness.

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist

The rain outside is soft and warm, and it patters gently against the top of the tent. It’s the kind of rain that finds its way into the worst places. A steady rain that starts to saturate anything and everything it touches. The sort of rain that manages to slip down to the bottom of the insides of your shoes, soaking your socks and making each step a wet squelch.

Within the tent, near a low-burning candle, you flip through the pages of your book. The pages are worn and yellowed. The cover and binding are starting to come apart, the paper threatening to fall out, but you don’t dare retire it for something newer. This book is well-loved, and for good reason. It is one of the few things you carry that belong to the man that walked away from you.

Other than your tent, the rest of the camp is at rest. It is still in the early hours of the morning, the sun just starting to dawn, and most of the camp’s residents still slumber in their bedrolls and cots. Traveling has been a long and difficult journey.

A dark shadow moves across the land, pushing people from their homes. Your village left everything behind, moving with a great sea of people away from the coming darkness. There is no home for you to go to except the road. What little possessions you took with you are the ones in this tent.

But there are many things you left behind, including your heart. You wrapped it up and left it to wither for the ranger you might never see again. That man, whose name you only learned while tangled up in each other, is made for the wilderness. He is made for nature and adventure. You do not begrudge him for it.

It was never meant to last between the two of you.

Aragorn, Strider as others call him, left without a word. You knew it would happen. He told you it would, but the parting still hurt even if you had prepared yourself for it. The pain is a sharp dagger against ripe fruit, cutting through in a smooth, clean stroke. Though it has been nearly a month, it is all still fresh as if he left only yesterday.

You turn a page in your book, shivering slightly from the cold. The rain might be warm but the air has the faintest hint of chill, making the dampness in the air stick to your skin. There are others who are likely worse off than you. The tent you have is relatively warm, and you have blankets to spare.

There is a rustling near the tent opening, a soft sound like a small animal sniffing about. It draws your attention away from the ink on the page. You expect to hear or even see the outline of a fox or some other small creature. Instead, low morning light filters in, obscuring the features of the man standing there.

Not an animal, which entirely surprises you. The shadowed man lingers in the opening of the tent, and then he steps inside. You’re about to bolt up, to berate this stranger for walking in without your permission. But, once that flap falls into place, and the light from the candle hits the man’s face, your muscles seize up.

It is a dream. The man standing before you is an image plucked from your imagination.

“Aragorn,” you murmur, mostly to yourself.

He stands tall in the small space and yet seems so unsure. He looks nervous, as if you’ll run him off for entering. It’s so different from the man you’ve known. In your presence, Aragorn was always confident.

“Am I intruding?” he asks softly as if he already has one foot out the tent. You don’t want him to leave.

You stand, clasping your hands in front of you. “No. You’re not intruding.” The only thing you’re wearing is the off-white nightdress you sleep in and a large wool blanket that’s draped over your shoulders. It’s entirely too intimate for a visitor, especially a man.

“This is a surprise,” you say, because it is. Aragon left. You never expected him to return.

“I know,” he replies softly in acknowledgement.

The pain roils up, and it’s difficult to push it back down. Some of it leaks out. “You left without saying goodbye.”

Aragorn takes a step forward. “I’m sorry.” The space is small and he’s almost on top of you.

Is he sorry? He said he would leave, that he couldn’t stay with you. While you don’t resent him for leaving, the separation still hurts, and you’re not sure how much of an apology you actually deserve.

You step around the apology, not wanting to linger there. “How did you find me?”

He glances at the candle and book. Aragorn’s features soften as his gaze falls on the worn cover. The book is his. You didn’t take it, and he didn’t truly gift it. Aragorn left it—whether on purpose or by accident—but you’ve carried it all this time.

Aragorn smiles softly, and your heart melts down to your feet. “You still have it.”

“It’s an entertaining read.”

His gaze returns to your face. “The rangers I ride with have been following at a distance,” he finally answers. “A darkness is sweeping across the land, and we’ve been watching all the people fleeing its reaching hands.” Aragorn pauses a moment before continuing. “I was unaware you were here until I heard about your village.”

“Is that why you’re here in this tent? You came looking for me?”

Aragorn nods. “I did. I feared—” He steps forward and then pauses, his hand curling into a fist like he’s resisting the urge to touch you.

“What did you fear?” you whisper as the chill begins to ease.

Aragorn swallows. “That the shadow had found you, and I was too late.”

“The shadow did not find me.” Aragorn is so close. Within reach.

Hesitantly, you lift your arm and allow your fingers to brush against his rain-drenched cloak. Aragorn glances down at your hand, and then he is moving, taking your hand in his. You do not pull away. You do not draw back.

He is so warm. A bright spot of light that you wish to take into yourself. He lifts your hand to his face and proceeds to kiss each of your fingers. Aragorn rotates your wrists and kisses your open palm. Every movement and kiss is purposeful. Drawn out.

You want to berate him. You want to tell him to leave. But you don’t. You can’t. Instead of pulling back or pushing him away, you step closer. Aragorn accepts this easily, sliding one arm around your waist to hold you close.

The rain on his cloak is of little significance, even as it starts to seep into your nightdress. Aragorn is here, and he is holding you, which is all that matters.

He closes the distance and you meet him greedily, wanting to remember how the two of you come together. Your lips meet, and all those happy flashes of memory stir up like a storm and batter your brain like waves against rock. Kissing Aragorn is natural, and returning to it is easy. Like the two of you never stopped.

It is not a heated, desperate thing, but soft and lovely, the two of you coming together until you’re both breathless and smiling. Hands roam, and it is you that undoes his rain-soaked cloak, but Aragorn who allows it to fall. Your hands continue to touch, both over and under clothing. His skin is hot against your palm, and that only ignites a deep fire within you.

The wool blanket around your shoulders disappears, guided by Aragorn as he tosses it onto your cot. The dull tiredness of sleep is gone, replaced by a growing need to be with him in the closest way possible.

The rain that is in his hair and on his skin drips onto you until your eyelashes and cheeks are speckles with them. They are little gifts to you. Pieces of him that you are accepting and taking for yourself. It does not matter that you or he might wipe them away, or that they might dry. You are desperate for anything.

You are content with just this—kissing Aragorn as the rain falls gently outside. But now, with your bodies pressed close, it’s hard to ignore what you want. This separation is a wound that needs stitching, and kissing Aragon is the thread.

His hand brushes against your waist through the nightdress and you desperately want him to go lower. You want him to explore the places he’s already been, rediscovering them and the way he makes you feel.

“I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long,” whispers Aragorn, his fingertips grazing across the water droplets that now line your cheek. His other hand dips between your legs, seeking what you’ve been after. The sensation is maddening.

You whimper, hips bucking as he strokes you through your clothes. Aragorn is enjoying it too. He tugs on your dress and kisses your shoulder where it slips to expose skin. Water drips onto your skin from his hair, running in a line down your bare shoulder to below the neckline of your dress. Aragorn leans in and licks up the droplets.

It’s lovely, and you want more of him. You need him everywhere.

“I want you,” you whisper. “But I am cross with you for not saying goodbye.”

Aragorn sighs and rests his forehead against yours. “How can I make amends? I do not wish to lose you.”

Your fingers dig into the fabric of his tunic. “Will you stay with me a bit? Can you give me what you are able?”

“You shall have it,” comes his response. Aragorn’s voice is low and raspy.

He smiles, as much with his eyes as with his mouth, and leans forward to kiss your neck. He starts slow, removing the rest of his rain-drenched outwear, hanging it up to dry in the corner along with the cloak that fell to the tent floor. Once done, he returns to you, his hand sliding over and down your nightdress.

Aragorn’s words drip with lust when he speaks again. “Do you want to take it off or should I do it for you?” He tugs lightly on the fabric, making his intention clear.

You inhale sharply, momentarily surprised by his forwardness. Aragorn’s hand slips beneath your neckline. His eyes search your face but you do not answer with your voice. Instead, you press into him, and Aragorn takes that as an invitation. He guides the dress over the other shoulder, letting the fabric fall to your waist.

“To be graced with your beauty again is a precious gift,” he whispers when you’re bare to him.

Your hands fist his tunic again, tugging, and Aragorn doesn’t need to ask to know what you want. He removes it quickly, and then he is bare from the waist up too. From there, the two of you remove the rest. For you, it’s a simple sway of the hips before the rest of the nightdress drops to the floor. Aragorn has much more to remove, staring with his mud-splattered boots and pants.

Once gone, and the two of you are entirely bare for each other, his arms go around your waist, guiding you down to the small cot that has been your bed for the last month. You run a hand over his bare chest, admiring the broad muscles and strength beneath your palm. Your fingers trace over scars, some that are old and faded, and others that are fairly new and still a bit red from healing.

Aragorn seizes your roaming hand and presses a kiss to the open palm. From there, he kisses your wrist, your inner forearm, the dip of your elbow, and then up to the curve of your shoulder. Those lips of his brush against the skin between shoulder and throat, venturing upwards to your neck to tease and suck at the skin there.

“You deserve more than this, especially after such a long absence,” he murmurs just before pressing a delicate kiss against the spot right behind your ear.

“It is you that caused it,” you murmur, turning your head enough that you find his lips.

Aragorn hums against your mouth in agreement.

When he kisses you again, it is with great care and attention, like you are the most precious gift. Nothing is rushed, and Aragorn does not push for more. He lingers in the moment, savoring your scent and taste. There is an urgency, a remembrance of how much joy the two of you shared together, but Aragorn does not dive in to seek only for himself.

You are a priority for him, and your mutual enjoyment is all that matters.

Aragorn is atop you, caging you against the small cot. Your legs are spread, thighs pressed against his hips. His hand slides up to cup the bottom of your face, and his thumb strokes over your cheekbone. With deliberate slowness, he takes your lower lip between his teeth and bites down just hard enough to pull a little whiny sound from you.

It’s a reminder of all those secret nights together, with the two of you wrapped up, seeking warmth and comfort.

His mouth follows his hand at it travels downward. Aragorn kisses the space between your breasts. He traces your skin with his tongue, circling and teasing until your back arches and your core floods with pleasure. Then he moves lower, strong hands gripping your waist as you squirm beneath him. His eyes meet yours and they are dark. Sensual.

The rain is a distant, soft pattering. His hair is still wet and water drips from the end. Some of it clings to his face and neck. Aragorn’s lips are parted slightly as he watches you.

“Please don’t go,” you whisper. “Please.”

Aragorn kisses you, nips at your bottom lip. “I won’t,” he replies. “I promise.”

He keeps that promise.

Aragorn’s hand slides between your legs and seeks out that delicate bundle of nerves. His fingers circle it, culling the tingling vibration of pleasure that swirls in your belly. Then, those fingers slide down, and breach your body, spreading you open.

Your nails dig into his lower back, and Aragorn groans softly, his face falling against your neck as he pumps his fingers. Your legs fall open a bit wider, and wider still until you’re lost to him rubbing on that sensitive flesh and working those fingers in and out of you.

The end comes fast and perfect, rippling up your spine only to spike down to your core where you clench around his fingers. You whimper his name, and the last of it is swallowed by his mouth as he kisses you.

Then his fingers are gone, and his hardness is pushing in, spreading you open, splitting you apart until your nails rake down his back and he’s seated to the hilt. Aragorn holds there, not moving, the two of you breathing heavily.

Aragorn does not move until your breathing slows. He rolls his hips in short movements that are just a tease, a way to acclimate from the time apart. But your body begins to remember, and when it does, Aragorn is relentless, reminding you of every sensual night that you’ve been endlessly dreaming off.

The candle is nearly out. Almost gone. It’s light so dim that the tent is mostly shadow.

Aragorn hits deep, and your thighs quiver around his waist. You tighten around him, a little aftershock hitting you, and that takes him over the edge.

The candle goes out, but the rain remains.

A small slit in the tent flap reveals the light gray sky, and its light slashes across Aragorn’s face.

And he still keeps his promise. He does not dress or attempt to leave.

Aragorn sinks against you, limbs entwining, and for now, you can have him.

taglist:

@foxxy-126 @glassgulls @km-ffluv @firelightinferno @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @protosslady @childofyuggoth @coffeecaketornado

[otomiyaa]

The Kiss

Dr. Ratio x Aventurine

A/N: Somehow I saw this art and a few minutes later I wrote the whole outline for this fic. P.S. I wrote this on my phone so I hope it didn't turn into a disaster lol.

Summary: No plot, just kisses and tickles... (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 1.1K

A casual fling. Friends with benefits. Body research? Maybe a test? A calculated scheme? Or... Meaningless love?

No, no. He would never use the word love.

Aventurine thought about the many ways Dr. Ratio would potentially describe what they shared. The relationship between them that kind of involved the physical activities one wouldn't just share with anyone.

He continued to stare at Ratio, specifically at his lips. Yeah. From kissing to getting handsy to, at times, even getting naked and devouring each other... As he continued to find himself in these situations once in a while, he wondered what excuses Dr. Ratio would have ready for them.

Not once did he explain himself. It often just happened. And not a word about it was spoken afterwards, even when Aventurine would try to tease him about it. If he kissed him, Ratio would kiss him back. Heck, last time it was even Ratio himself who started it.

Aventurine couldn't help but smirk and tingle with confidence. Was he that irresistible to the usually cool and collected doctor?

"Gambler. Are you even paying attention to what I am saying?" Ratio asked in an irritated tone, inviting him back to the conversation. No, apparently he was not paying attention to the work-related matter at hand.

"No," he admitted, and he strode towards Ratio. Oh how he loved to be alone with him like this, to do freely as he pleased. He grabbed him by the collar and yanked him forward, almost resulting in a headbutt. But instead of hitting his head, he captured his lips in a well aimed open mouthed tongue kiss. Random, but so very good.

Ratio's startled reaction gave him the perfect chance to kiss him long and deep, and he couldn't help but let out a huffy chuckle mid-kiss when he noticed Ratio stumbling backwards. So with both hands on his hips, Aventurine shoved him until he was with his back against the wall.

Then slamming a hand next to his head to assert dominance, Aventurine kissed him some more, his body burning with lust, adrenaline and confidence. And Ratio? Wasn't even trying to push him back but kissed him just the same. Yeah, explain that, doctor.

Then, when they finally broke apart and Aventurine granted him a moment to breathe, he smirked at him and licked his lips.

"What's wrong doctor? Did I catch you off-guard?" he asked. He stood on his toes to get some more of that when all of a sudden he was slammed with his back against the same wall he was just pinning Ratio against. Doctor had effortlessly swapped their positions and was now looking like the predator.

"You are infuriating," was all he said before he used the same method as Aventurine; he practically shoved his tongue into his mouth and quite literally sucked the life out of him.

"Hmh..." Aventurine's arms moved up and hesitated. Wrapping his arms around his neck would be considered too romantic. His hands ended up landing on his shoulders and he squeezed them roughly, digging his fingers into them and pulling Ratio even tighter against him. Ratio's hands on his own body trailed down, making him jump and tingle under his touch. They managed to expose some bare skin and as soon as those fingers touched him there...

"Hngh!" Aventurine jumped when the touch was rather specific. And again, fingers brushing against his lower sides, so he quickly tried to break off the kiss to ask Ratio what the fuck was wrong with him. But Ratio wouldn't let him. Aventurine was stuck in his kiss, and those nasty fingers started to increase their demanding touches.

It fucking tickled. Like hell. Aventurine squirmed and shook, but when it went from casual soft brushing and scratching touches to simply digging and clawing at his poor defenseless torso, he realized this was no mere accident.

"Hmmmhh stahh-hmh!" Ratio only shoved his tongue deeper into his mouth, kissing him with... passion might be the wrong word, but there was definitely a lot of determination.

His fingers climbed up and wiggled between his ribs as if they were longing to pry his body open. Instead it tickled Aventurine until giggles were starting to spill out despite the exhausting kisses.

"Rahahatio! Hah- stohohop it mahahan!" He tried to squirm and struggle free, his hands pushing at Ratio' shoulders. Then when he moved them to shove at his chest, Ratio captured both his hands with ease and pinned them above his head.

"Quiet," he demanded before kissing him further, but the damn tickling returned too, worse than ever! How could he possibly be quiet?!

"Hmmmmmmfhh!" Aventurine was on fire. Helpless to the ticklish sensations that invaded his trapped body, starting at his armpit and traveling down his ribs and side, then back up again. He arched his back and struggled, moaned and let out muffled cries and giggles. None that convinced the doctor that this kiss of death and tickles was in fact killing him.

He felt even more helpless when Ratio released his arms again and it didn't change anything. He was only tickled with both hands, fiercer and more ticklish than he had experienced before. He shook on his legs and eventually fell down. The humiliation and disgrace were nothing compared to the tickle attack that followed. No more kissing, just Dr. Ratio and his ten cursed fingers that knew exactly where to get Aventurine to leave him cackling and squealing.

"Stahah-ahahahah nohoho! You're sohoho- wahhhahhah!"

"Speak full sentences," was Ratio's cold reply. His actions were anything but cold though. His wiggling and digging fingers left Aventurine burning. His throat was equally on fire from the amount of laughter it had to endure.

"I cahahan't breheheathe! Rahahatio!" Tears rolled down his warm cheeks. He curled up but was just as easily uncurled again, with one of Ratio's hands on his thigh, digging and squeezing him to not miss a single opportunity of tickling him. Ratio's other hand used its damned fingers to spider at his helpless tummy.

"Plehehehease Rahahatio what thehehe hehehell!" Aventurine laughed breathlessly. It felt as if Ratio would never stop. But then finally, when there was nothing Aventurine could do except moan and whine in a miserable heap on the floor, Ratio got back up.

"What's wrong, gambler? Did I catch you off-guard?" he asked, firing Aventurine's very own words right back at him.

"We'll continue our meeting next time," he added before leaving Aventurine just like that. Hot, tired and messy on the floor. Damn.

Geez. What a petty doctor. Why did he always have to be the better person? Aventurine wiped his burning lips and squirmed as the tingling sensation still dominated his body even now.

... "Just you wait, Ratio..." he mumbled to himself with a smirk. Looked like he needed to up his game next time...!

[missgryffin]

lying in wait

Randomly listened to some Hamilton over the weekend, ended up with "Wait For It" stuck in my head, and wrote this in a couple hours today. I think it's angst, but with a nice dash of crack? Idk 😅 But I hope it makes you smile! 🫶 below + AO3

November 3, 1981

The cottage is silent, save for the ticking of the old grandfather clock in the hall, and it’s already pitch dark, with only the faint glow of street lamps and budding moonlight shining in through rain-slicked windows. 

Lily draws up her knees to her chest where she sits on the sofa, peering mindlessly into blurry windowpane. She doesn’t remember the last time she walked aimlessly down a road, or went into a shop. Sometimes, on stormy autumn nights like this, she wonders if she ever will again. 

Footsteps tumble down the stairs, then come to an abrupt halt. 

“Lil?” She can see his shadowed outline, one hand in his hair. “You just…sitting in the dark?”

She shrugs, though he probably can’t see, and asks, “Harry went down alright, then?” 

James chuckles to himself as he crosses the room, picking his way around the furniture until he drops onto the sofa next to her. “After reading every book twice and playing the Snitch game for thirty minutes…yes.” He leans closer, grinning. “Our son is asleep.” 

She rests a hand on his scruffy cheek. “It’s only supposed to be ten minutes of the Snitch game,” she teases him. 

“I know,” James sighs. “But he asked for ten more.” 

Lily snorts. “What, and then ten more after that?” 

He throws his hands weakly in his lap. “Wha—am I supposed to say no to the kid? He looks just like me!” 

She falls into him, a laughing heap, and for a moment, they simply giggle deliriously together. It’s nice. It’s normal. Or at least a sliver of it.

James cuddles her into him, and Lily breaths him in. They’ve lost so many over the few years since Hogwarts, but they still have each other. She clings on to that, to him.

“I love you,” she says into his chest. 

He kisses the top of her head. “I love you, too.”

A stretching silence; a heavy sigh. “It’s his birthday.” 

“I know,” James murmurs. “I can’t stop thinking about him.” 

Lily peels herself off his chest and swings a leg over his lap, sitting with her arms looped around his neck. How many conversations have they had over the years while sitting just like this? How many more will they get? 

“He said he’d be in touch by today.” Her mind won’t stop racing. “What if this was a bad id—” 

“It wasn’t,” James cuts her off. “Besides.” A heavy sigh. “It was…our only idea.”

“Do you think…” She pauses, plays with his hair. “Do you think we…did the right thing?” 

He sits up straighter, pulling her closer against him. “You’re the only two people in my life I know I can trust completely,” he says. “So yeah, I think we did.” 

There’s no use rehashing it again; they’ve done that enough. Yes, he now has a target on his back, but it’s not like he wasn’t already a target before. No, it couldn’t have been anyone else—not Albus, who knows more than he’s saying; not Remus, whom Albus and Sirius both suspect; and not Peter, who’s been looking exhausted and strung-out from the night-shift reconnaissance he’s been assigned. Yes, he had to leave. And no, it wasn’t cowardly to do so.

Granted, that last bit had taken a not insignificant amount of convincing (damned Gryffindor), but he eventually came around to their idea. Staying around in England with Voldemort sure to be onto him was certain death. But why not take advantage of being top of Voldemort’s mind? Why make it easy, when instead he could make it hard? Give the Order a leg up? Let them use him (or rather, the idea of him) as bait to lure and manipulate all the Death Eaters looking for him, and maybe even root out the spy in the process? And really, if anyone was going to lead Voldemort on a wild goose chase, setting traps and lying in wait, who better than Sirius Black?

Still, she worries. She can’t help it. And she knows James worries too, even if he does do a better job of hiding it. 

There’s only one thing left to do, really; only one way to pass the time sufficiently distracted from racing thoughts. James must read her mind, because he’s all eager hands and excited tongue when she kisses him. Maybe it’s unhealthy, how much they’ve used sex to cope the past year. But when his mouth feels like this and hair’s in her hands…she’s not sure she cares.

“Prongs!”

They jump, springing apart like they’re fifth years caught after curfew. James swears under his breath as they fumble to right the clothes they’d started shoving aside before he reaches for the small mirror sitting on the coffee table.

“Padfoot!” 

Lily frantically feels around the sofa for her wand. 

“Why’s it so dar—oh, don’t tell me you were just—”

“We were waiting for you,” James covers. 

“Mate. That’s worse. Just say you were shagging.” 

“Well, we weren’t yet.”

“Hi, Sirius.” She brandishes her now-glowing wand, recovered from the seam between the cushions. 

“Lily! Looking rumpled as ever!” 

She yanks her cardigan back up her shoulder as she scolds, “Shut it.”

“I miss you, too.” 

They can only see Sirius’s chin in frame, and it seems like he’s moving around. 

“Happy birthday, man,” James says.

“Thanks.” 

“Where are you?” 

“Hang on—I have to show you—ready?” 

“Yeah?” 

His face comes into view and Lily instantly gasps. 

Sirius grins. “Like it?” 

His once shoulder-length hair’s been chopped off stylishly short in a fresh cut that makes him look like old Hollywood charm in that loose button-down he has on. 

“Damn, Pads!” 

“I…barely recognize you,” Lily stammers. 

“Well.” He adjusts the mirror closer to his face. “That’s sorta the point.” 

A heavy pit settles in her stomach. 

“How you been?” James asks. “Travel go okay?” 

“Yeah, fine.” Sirius shrugs. “I’ve been doing things the Muggle way—that Muggle Studies N.E.W.T.’s finally paying off, who woulda thought.”

“Where are you now?”

The mirror turns around, panning over an ocean-side city lit up with lights through a set of patio doors. “Cannes,” he says, and Lily hears the grin in his voice. The mirror turns back to his face. “I have access to money here, dad’s side of the family, in the French bank. And I figure…” He flops back atop a hotel bed, one hand beneath his head. “If Voldemort wants to come get me, he’ll just have to bring his snakey arse down to the beach, won’t he?”

They all bust up into snorting, wheezing laughter. It’s not normal; none of it’s normal. But laughing with her husband and their best friend like this is the closest to normal she’s felt in a long time, and she thinks, if this is how life has to be for awhile, she can live with it.

[anantaru]

DAY 9 — THREESOME

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

𖧡 — including — neuvillette & wriothesley (together)

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, threesome, tit sucking, lots of teasing, i think their dynamic works so well for this, they're a little jealous and want you to themselves, some bickering from wriothesley's side but neuvillette really doesn't give a damn

taking on a lustful shape over your spread out body, wriothesley watches you eagerly when you wince out the first time neuvillette outlines your walls with his large cock, a breathless and flirtatious snicker resounding like deep, impactful strikes from the duke's throat— he cannot fathom that this was happening right now, and neither could you, but here you were being pleasured by two strong, threatening men touching your skin and awakening an emotion like fiery steel on your flesh and spirit.

"you do realize, dear iudex." wriothesley suddenly speaks out, a masculine voice entering your system as he stops in midst his slurred sentencing, secretly wanting to be the one who's rushing his shaft into you instead because— you can feel it then, immediately notice that the man fully needed you on his own, carnally, couldn't help himself but desire you, lasciviously.

"—that there should always be enough preparation before doing that." he doesn't even look at the man while overflowing with cocky attitude, instead leaning his head to your chest while you desperately gripped and tightened your legs around neuvillette's waist to somehow manage to take his blows the right way, but you're almost holding him hostage this way, fuck and it only serves to make him dizzy.

following your doings, a ravaging whine ripples through your body as the piercing thrusts on your dripping core never stop as neuvillette rides out everything with his swelling erection, barely being able to restrain himself until he was allowed to stick up your pussy with copious amounts of white ropes of creamy cum splattering all over your walls— and of course, his thrusts are slow, precise, the dragging of a thick shaft touching your silken insides for what felt like a sweet, blissful eternity.

neuvillette hums back at the duke, the noise forming an absent response on its own before he decides to follow up the silence departing from his throat, "you do not need to lecture me about this." he drawls back before immediately turning his attention back to you, controlling the buck of his hips but adding enough strength that your ass jiggles from the contact, "but i do appreciate it." and still, considerably he pulls out his cock, yet despite leaving the tip in, the fat head separating your slit effortlessly that it felt like he never really pulled all those inches out of you in the first place.

"just making sure, y'know." wriothesley notices a little film of annoyance on neuvillette's facial expression and mentally applauds himself, a slow, cocky grin touching up his lips— whilst sloppy kisses were now located on your chest as he mouths wet spots on your exposed breasts.

you cannot help yourself and have to shoot your eyes down at him to see for yourself, simply feeling him suckle on your mounds wasn't enough anymore— and it's comfortable, soul crushing when his dark hair tickles your wet cheeks as he continues with his lovely intrigues, serving you dutifully to make you tremble underneath his large body menacing on top, placing soused, warm kisses on your breasts before targeting your nipples next, using your tit as he pleases with his tongue rolling out expertly, dragging the flat of his wet muscle around your sensitivity before noticing a shudder on your chest.

his pink muscle was never faltering, not once, because he likes that you're unraveling way too fast, which, granted, wasn't a surprise to the duke because bare in mind, he knows what you need— specifically how you wanted your tits to be played with before he was grabbing the flesh of your mounds and putting one in his sweltering mouth, every lick and suck biting your core and rising the temperature on your sex.

at the present time, the persistent pleasure both of them fucked into you reaches your entire frame— for once, on your chest chasing the friction of wriothesley's rough tongue licking over the warmth, weighty tears magnifying around your eyes as your blurred psyche loses all rational thinking skills while your pussy was suddenly being spread apart again.

in the blink of an eye, neuvillette lands a harsh smack on your aching sex, following the sticky trail of his shaft being imbedded by your translucent arousal and throbbing between the slickness of your walls constricting around him all too well, and your moans— like a honeyed melody out of a perfect symphony, pillowing a scarlet red on his bristling cheeks.

the iudex doesn't need anyone to tell him how it's done— because behind wriothesley's back, there have been plenty encounters before where it had been just the two of you, encircled around each other, deep sighs entering the room as he rounds his heavy arms on your body, murmuring sweet nothing into your ears, his voice lowered and allied with gravel alike, rasping at a clear spot on your brain that was in control of your lascivious drive when you welcome his smoldering touch so helplessly it's almost embarrassing in hindsight.

while now, he sadly cannot have it the way he'd ultimately prefer it to be but that doesn't mean he wasn't enjoying the mess evolving in front of his ocean eyes picking up each of your shivers, storing them into the back of his brain so he could visualize it whenever he might require it.

what neuvillette wouldn't admit to anybody was that he does like seeing you being played with while it's him who has you entered, who has his cock locked deep inside your sweet, dripping cunt. besides, wriothesley does a good job, he has to admit, how you're whining and begging to feel release, or bliss— clenching your arms around the duke's head while he was lapping his tongue around your breast feverently, one hand sneakily finding the other to touch the hot skin while drool fills his mouth at your lewd noises, selfishly sucking more.

it's not all too bad, right? because neuvillette likes what he sees, and at least he can watch at your adorable face changing expressions and listen to your velvety moans rush across the humid embrace of the room, bumbling off the walls and vibrating around his large cock rocking forward, letting his girth roll itself against your wet warmth that he fucks his way into your little entrance with enough motivation that will keep him satiated for days— and at last, he needs to relish in it again, meaning the sounds, those final tunes of you, or the ones of raw skin on skin rippling around you, ultimately making him go faster and faster, better and finer the louder they would get.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[strawberrywinter4]

Watch and You’ll See

"John takes up birdwatching. Sherlock is baffled but supportive."

Thanks to @stellacartography for the prompt!

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

Relationship: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Tags: Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Birdwatching, Cheek Kisses, Reassurances, John’s new hobby, Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson, Angst

Read here on ao3.

*•*•*•*•*

“You didn’t have to come with me, you know,” John says as they stroll down the path.

“I didn’t,” Sherlock confirms. “However, this new… hobby of yours leaves me no choice but to find answers.”

John only rolls his eyes, the conversation morphing into silence.

Sherlock eyes the book titled Birds and All You Need to Know in John’s hand, a bag slung around his shoulder. Sherlock just doesn’t understand and it’s bothering him considerably. John Watson is a veteran, a man who’s killed several, a professional doctor, and, in all honesty, a dangerous man in some situations.

And he’s taken up birdwatching.

Yes, he’s also taken up blogging as well, but his therapist requested that, and he’s gotten quite the following. So, Sherlock can’t ponder why John would dive into a hobby such as watching birds; a calm and overall observant activity on which one must focus.

It started as a slow process. On days when they didn’t have a case, John would slip out of the flat without a word, a slim bag over his shoulder. Then, the bag turned into an obvious organizer for supplies. Sherlock could make out the outline of a binocular, but that’s all. Once he finally confronted John and asked where he was headed at least two times a week, John casually responded, “Birdwatching,” with a happy-go-lucky smile on his lips.

Sherlock blinked, baffled by the statement.

Now, John has taken his hobby to the next level and decided to take a day trip to Sussex, where there is more nature to be appreciated. John only mentioned that he was off for the day and that he probably wouldn’t be home until late afternoon, but Sherlock was having none of it.

This was piquing his interest.

Sherlock insisted on accompanying John, which John first protested, but Sherlock didn’t care for his argument.

They sit on a bench that overlooks plenty of branches and slim trees. John sighs, setting his bag down and grabbing his binoculars from inside.

“Again, you really didn’t have to come,” John says again as if that will get Sherlock to disappear.

Sherlock can tell John expects him to poke fun, to laugh at such a contrasting hobby to which he would usually have. But Sherlock does nothing of the sort.

Instead, he leans forward and kisses the doctor’s cheek. “You are ridiculous sometimes,” Sherlock says. He then takes the book from John’s hands and begins observing the hardcover.

John continues to stare at him in bewilderment.

“Tedious… but probably factual,” Sherlock murmurs. He then looks at John. “Do you have a notepad?”

John blinks, then nods slowly. He gets out a notepad and a writing pen from his bag, handing it to Sherlock. Sherlock sees that John has already scribbled down on each set of paper, filling up almost half the notepad.

Sherlock feels warmth overtake his chest.

It’s… quite adorable, really. John is so dedicated to this activity and it shows in his writing, each category of birds having notes of specifics under them.

Sherlock hides his smile, eyes settling on John.

John huffs a laugh as he sees Sherlock’s expression. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, you git,” he says as he reaches for his notepad.

Sherlock holds it out of reach with ease. “I’m doing no such thing,” Sherlock tells him. “Now, I suggest you start before it gets dark.”

“What, so you can take pictures and send them to Greg?” John questions.

“Who?”

“Never mind. Just- Sherlock, it’s embarrassing.”

“Why should it be?” asks Sherlock. “I’m simply watching you enjoy something that you’re fond of.”

“Sherlock-”

“John.” Sherlock’s voice is, for once, genuine. “Please. I’m… glad you have something to pass your time with. There’s no need to be embarrassed.”

John smiles gratefully at him.

For the rest of the day, the two men observe different birds, Sherlock admittedly finding this hobby fascinating as well. The majority of it consists of observations, so why wouldn’t he? Sherlock also can’t be blamed for correcting John’s monitoring throughout their experience or slipping the notepad out of John’s hands to write his own set of notes.

And he can’t be blamed for staring at John in awe every time the blogger acquires a glint in his eye when he sees a new bird, or when he pats Sherlock’s arm excitedly when a bird appears close.

All the more reason to love John Watson.

*•*•*•*•*

Tags: @a-victorian-girl @whatnext2020 @totallysilvergirl @ninasnakie @thegildedbee @whodwantmeasaflatmate @with-a-ghost-mr-holmes @sherlocknjohn221b @jawnn-watson @blogstandbygo @lisbeth-kk @holmesianlove @itsonlytext @7-percent @chinike @peanitbear @mary-johnlocked @bakerstreetbe @curlyjohnlock @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @ceceliajupe @tindomerelhloni-official @ghostofnuggetspast @dw91165

(Please let me know if you don’t wish to be tagged or if you’d like to be tagged. Thank you so much for the reposts!!💞)

[undertheorangetree]

Under the God's Eye

Chapter Two- The Drive

Summary- The holiday begins and the drive is less than pleasant.

Warnings- MDNI 18+ Female Reader. Classism. Old married couple bickering. There’s only one bed.

Author’s Note- I have no idea how to stick to a post schedule so here’s the next part. Full chapter is on AO3 and feel free to tell me what you think :)

Series masterlist

divider created by firefly-graphics

She feels as though she should be embarrassed when Aemond pulls up outside her building in his Maserati. It's clearly out of place here and if the look on his face is anything to go by, so is he. It isn't that her apartment is bad, but it is only three blocks north of the poorest part of the city, unaffectionately known as Flea Bottom. But the rent had been cheap and it was far enough away that she didn't feel as though she was too close to any real danger. Regardless, it's clear he disapproves from the moment he pulls up to the curb but he keeps his mouth shut as he pops the trunk and helps her maneuver her bag in, even going so far as to open the door for her.

But to hope for peace is too much to ask for, as the moment he sits down back down in the driver's seat, he's talking. "You live here?"

"We can't all afford to live in the Red Keep district," she snaps, already feeling inferior just sitting in his car.

In truth, she doesn't know where he lives, but if the way his cheeks go pink is any indication, her guess isn't too far off.

This already feels like a mistake. It has since the night she agreed to it and he had started texting her. He had given her as much information as he felt that she needed, half heartedly explaining family dynamics and who was likely to be there. He had told her what to pack and, when she had explained that she didn't have any formal clothes, insisted on buying her two dresses that he deemed acceptable. She had declined immediately, adamantly, no less than six times but Aemond had refused to take her no as a final answer. There's going to be a gala with almost every high standing lawyer in Westeros at the end of the month, he had finally snapped. If you want to be taken seriously after you get your internship, you're going to have to look the part. It had almost sounded like a threat when he said it and finals had exhausted her so thoroughly that she had no fight left to give. She had simply given him her measurements and let him do what he will. She wasn't even sure what he bought and he had never bothered to show her. He had simply texted her a bought them and left it at that.

Curious now, she turns her head and looks in the back seat, half expecting there to be two dress bags laying across them. Instead she finds a pet carrier and is just able to make out the grizzled outline of a tortoiseshell cat fast asleep inside.

“Who’s this?” she asks as the car pulls away from the curb.

Aemond glances in the rearview mirror and something similar to a smile makes its way onto his face. “Vhagar. You’re not allergic to cats, are you? There’s going to be a few animals at the cottage.”

“No, but is the drive not a bit much for her? It’s nearly six hours.”

Though she can’t see Vhagar in her entirety, it is clear that she’s not young, with white freckled across her back and the telltale greasy fur of an older cat.

“She’s done it a dozen times before, you don’t need to worry about her.” He looks fondly at the carrier and for a second, the affection he has for his cat brings a smile to her face. The smile dies the moment he speaks again. “What you should worry about is remembering everything I’ve told you. You do remember, don’t you?”

Read the rest here

Taglist- @backyardfolklore @docmartinis @watercolorskyy @barbieaemond @bellaisasleep @yentroucnagol @aemondsbabygirl

[lunarw0rks]

Old Bones | Chapter Three

Summary: After fleeing a toxic relationship, you fear for your safety and hire a bodyguard. He's masked, impassible, and damn good at what he does.

Warning(s): strong language, suggestive language, guns/gun violence, death, gore/medical gore, blood, canon-typical violence

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: I think this is my fav chapter so far, lemme know what y'all think... sorry if it's medically inaccurate but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also the bastard finally has a name !!

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST // have a request? ♡¸.•*' ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ prev. chapter | next chapter | playlist | ao3 ver. ꒦꒷ O.B MASTERLIST

Vaded

“Squeeze trigger slow, don’t forget to breathe.” His fingers are overtaking yours, contorting yours so they’re using the proper form.

Even if you wanted to make a mistake, his frame was caging you in, stomach pressed deeply into the curve of your back. You do just that, firing at the glass jars lined up several feet away. Not a solid hit, but closer than the others.

Simon steps back, lowering the cock of the weapon for you. “You’re hesitating. There’s no time to hesitate or you’re dead.”

“I know that.” You spit back. The fluster of continually missing, as well as being dragged out here nearly every day was getting to you. Not to mention the heat of the sun beating down on you, successfully blinding any shot you take.

“Then do it properly,” He stands near the jars in front of you now, crossing his arms over his chest in impatience. “You think I have time to ponder when I’m holding a gun to someone’s head? I don’t. I shoot first.”

Such a prick—an insufferable prick at that. His words only escalated the sour mood you’d had during this whole morning of make-shift boot camp.

You raise the pistol again, lining up the sights and tracing along his figure being outlined by the rays of sunshine. You exhale like you’d been coached, jerking the sights to the jar closest to him and squeezing the trigger.

The mason jar explodes, laying askew on the pallets he’d set them up on. He doesn’t jump in surprise, or lose his composure.

“Better. You might actually have a chance… If he’s a statue.” His lack of reaction only pissed you off more, practically wiping any form of a smirk you had after your first lucky bullet. You switch the safety back on, for his well-being as much as your own, and toss the iron to him.

He catches it without a second thought, returning it to the sack of weapons he’d brought to train with. A week, and you’d just barely made it to pistols. Not to mention, on your toes the entire time because there’s been nothing but radio silence on your spouse. Not a letter, not a piece of mail, no sign of a tail—nothing.

He begins the drive back from the countryside, somewhere about an hour out of town where none of the trigger pulls would be heard. His eyes are glued to the unpaved road in front of him, as usual. One hand on the top of the wheel, and the other taking up the entirety of his center console, leaving you little room to breathe.

“I’d say, you’re ready to carry one.” Simon’s words nab your attention. “Just don’t shoot at me again, or you’re shit out of luck.”

You don’t doubt the power of carrying, but it’s new nonetheless.

Perhaps his harsh feedback held weight, and you ‘might’ have a chance in hell of defending yourself. Might—as in, nearly none at all.

Thank the stars for that insufferable prick, then, because whether you want to admit it or not, his services are needed.

—

The weight of the piece is something you’ll have to get used to.

You refused the hip holster, to Simon’s annoyance, of course. Instead, it’s going to remain tucked into your waistband, the icy metal of the .38 revolver digging into the soft flesh of your tailbone.

He’s in the shower now, where he usually spends about two minutes anyways, despite you packing now. Bullets were your words now, if necessary. This situation was past legalities, or forms, or numbing and intrusive questions in the courtroom.

Three sharp pounds on the front door, and you’re already at your feet. The shower shuts off, and Simon has walked out with a towel concealing his waist and already started for the door.

“Wait.” You’re looking through the peephole only greeted with the sight of a badge and an impatient officer. Simon steps back a bit, watching the encounter from the hallway as droplets run down his frame.

Once you’ve opened the door, the officer holds out some sort of form. The prospect of an officer at your door has prevented you from hearing his introduction or caring to take a look at the badge. The only words that find you are ‘husband’ and ‘defamation’.

He doesn’t bother to let you respond, just shoves the form onto the entry table and gives Simon a sickened glare. At first glance, probably thinking Simon is your side piece showering off after a night of adultery.

The officer has retreated down the steps of the complex, leaving you unable to process anything. Simon doesn’t say a word, just retreats to his room to finish dressing, as if there wasn’t almost a dead cop laying in the foyer.

Your hands shiver as you skim through the document, seated at the kitchen table. You couldn’t believe the bastard—cops and judges already on his payroll, coming up with some bogus claim of defamation—all while you’re left with no evidence of the latter.

He’s returned quickly, resting his palms on the table as he soaks in the information. “You’re not going to that trial.” The paper is taken from your fingers, forcing you out of your discomposure.

“I’ll go to prison if I don’t show, Simon.” You respond quickly, wondering what the hell he’s getting you roped into.

“No, you’ll be dead.” He leads, the palms on the table turning to tight fits. “Once you’re in the courtroom, he’ll have access to you, or whatever shitty motel you’ll be staying in for months. You’re not going.” His commands are nearing that of a hardened soldier.

“This is my life you’re talking about. I can’t just pack up and run from the federal government. He’s not going to kill me, he’s going to try and put me in jail, then throw away the key.” Your tone has heightened, but his hasn’t.

He takes a few steps back from the table as if trying not to blow his top. “You’re hiding out in a shitty apartment, sobbing in the middle of supermarkets, and you’re confident in that assessment?”

“If he wanted you in jail, he would’ve planted evidence on you. I’ll repeat myself. You’re not going.” Simon sighs sharply, trying to calm himself again. “We need to get out of this apartment for now, before more police poke around and find you packing heat.”

The lack of decor, luggage still in the corner, non-perishables you’d bought—all for the inevitable moment he finds you. That moment was here, and now you were packing it all away. Somehow the place looked less pitiful with it all packed away and stuffed into his backseat.

—

You were somewhere in the countryside, only in the opposite direction of the shooting range you were at that morning. He hadn’t stopped once during the long ride and wasn’t planning to. You were in a small town before you knew it—someplace you’d never heard of, and probably with a population that doesn’t reach triple digits.

The barren landscape you were passing in the near forties seemed to continue forever. The endless crop and winding paths would provide cover, but the scenarios playing in your head depicted worse.

The entirety of the town was in a cluster—a few gas pumps, a motel, a pharmacy, and a diner—all of which much older than you’d been alive, visibly decaying under years of neglect.

His truck rolled to a stop, parking in the empty lot of the motel. You two seemed to be the only ones rooming in this apocalyptic townlet, and you were grateful for that, at least. He retreated into the office and returned holding a key to your room.

You climbed out, retrieving the duffel that had your entire life packed into it. His bag of weapons was slung over his shoulder, and he carried it as if the weight had no effect. He’d stayed quiet the whole trip, and it continued well into entering the shared space.

Two beds, a bathroom, and a kitchenette. Nicer than you expected, albeit the exterior painted a different picture earlier.

Your stiff limbs freed themselves when you sprawled out on the bed you claimed, remaining in disbelief of the situation at hand. You were on the run again, but this time not from him—from the law. How long could this go on? Living in motels, with an overbearing male roommate? Especially one without a sense of humor; the spiteful cherry on top.

He closed the curtains with a jerk, forcing you to stare at the dated floral pattern they had, instead of the secluded view outside. There was no time for error, especially when it was someone other than the law to figure out you’d skipped town.

Just when you’ve begun to close your eyes, he’s loudly rifling through the luggage sitting on the floor, muttering curses under his breath. You sit up in bed in a huff, glaring into his back. Finally, he pulls out the bottle of Kentucky, pouring himself a generous glass, before thumping it down onto the faux-granite counter.

“Seriously?” You sigh, sitting yourself up on your arms.

He takes a few seconds, savoring the burn running down his throat. “Gonna need it. Helps me focus.”

“We’ll need to pick up a few things at that pharmacy, so get up.” There’s no chance in hell he’s leaving you here alone, despite the store only being a few blocks away. Bickering only greeted you with an icy glare, so you grumbled to your feet, slipping into the jacket you’d removed only minutes before.

In usual fashion, he’s a few steps behind you, watching the few people that are out and about at the moment, most of which are retirement age.

You’re inside the pharmacy now, practically tapping your foot at him as he grabs the supplies you two might need. More non-perishables as well as a small kit used for camping. It was clear to you this little “road trip” wasn’t going to end soon—and he was quite used to being on the run.

As soon as he’s placed the bills on the checkout counter, you’ve exited the store, nearly skipping back to his truck. He begins the short drive back, but his eyes keep darting between the rearview mirror and over his shoulder.

“We have a tail.” He snarls, continuing to divert further from town. “I’m gonna make sure we lose it.”

His words make your hairs stand, whatever the hell he meant by that was nothing pretty. He was getting further from town, so whatever his plans were needed absolutely no witnesses.

“Gun?” You ask, looking over your shoulder at the black Mercedes creeping closer.

He nods, still frantically assessing his four corners. The road signs have disappeared again, and you’re back to crops and trucking warehouses. You lift yourself off the seat a bit, retrieving the revolver you previously had tucked away. You check the cylinder, indeed seeing six bullets loaded inside—bullets he’d filed X’s into the tips himself—they “blew a nastier hole” that way, according to him.

It’s in your lap now, as you bounce around from his speed increase. The tail does the same, nearly bumper to bumper with his trunk now. Simon diverts, trying to ensure it can’t clip it, but the unpaved road before you is already unsteady enough when you’re going straight.

The Mercedes clips into the side of his truck, but the size difference between the cars only causes it to swerve. Simon turns abruptly, making the tail believe he’s taking a right. In reality, he swerves left, causing the confused driver to go straight into the metal fence lining the road.

You only see the wreckage briefly; crushed hood, steam rising from the hood, and no further movement from the driver.

He slams the brakes, pulling off to the side. He pulls out his much larger caliber pistol, slamming the truck door behind him. He’s gone to make sure he finishes the job.

Your fingers find the lock button, about to hear that click, when the passenger door is whipped open, and you’re face down in the gravel before you know it. Your gun is askew somewhere, having been ripped from your hands.

The assailant's fingers dig into your scalp, forcing you to kneel on the sharp pebbles. He’s surely one of the men your husband hired. His nose is busted, and there are small shards of glass embedded in his face that he’s too determined to mind.

This was the moment fate caught up with you, just like you’d thought it would. Either with you dead in your apartment, or staring down the barrel of a gun like you are now—disarmed and on your knees execution-style.

He cocks it, pressing the metal into your temple.

The unmistakable crack of a gunshot echoes through the countryside, causing both of you to jump in surprise. Had Simon been ambushed? Was he already bleeding out in the dirt?

He seems to think the same, a lordly smirk spreading, revealing his bloodied teeth. You snap your eyes to the stars above you. His leer is not going to be the last thing you see—the night sky would be.

The ring in your ears is louder than the gunshot itself. Warm sprinkles have splattered across you now, dripping down your neck. But you’re not dead. Not clenching a bullet hole either. You have to look down to be sure, examining your body with sanguine hands.

Instead, it’s the man with a hole in his head crumbled in front of you, still your pistol in his dead fingers. The ringing subsides, but your eardrums are muffled slightly like you’ve just had your head underwater.

“Bastard got me,” Simon stumbles back, making you sigh in relief, “—came out of the fuckin’ backseat, didn’t see him.” He’s sputtering, putting a flat palm against the stab wounds on his stomach, while the other is against the door of the truck.

You use the truck for support as well, feeling the stray pebbles that were still digging into your knees, not to mention the crimson seeping into the fabric of your clothes, sticking to you. You snatch your pistol back, stuffing it back into your waistband.

He’s barely upright now. An uncanny sight at best, seeing him struggle to hold his own weight.

“We need to… Clean this up…” He takes his palm off the truck, but it’s returned when he nearly stumbles again. He’s fighting himself, forcing himself to be the one in charge here. Simon glowers down at his abdomen, lifting the saturated fabric. It’s worse than you expected, not in the deepness of the punctures, but how much blood he lost in the scuffle.

You can tell he wants to speak, to give you some sort of instruction, but the pants coming from him are too severe. He slides down the truck, leaning against the large tire for support. He’s gone even paler than usual—you can tell through the eyes of his mask.

His chest is rising and falling rapidly, at least. But it won’t be soon if you don’t do something.

It’s a blur; grunting and using all your might to put the dead man into the bed of the truck. You open the door to the backseat, finding the foil blanket in the camping kit Simon bought. You cover the bed, so his corpse looks like nothing more than a lump of firewood, or hay, or something other than what it is.

The skinny flashlight finds its way between your teeth, as you scoop and kick the dirt around to cover up the blood. The storm clouds forming are your only hope of washing away any evidence of this bloodbath. You shine the light on the side of the car, where some of the splatter had cast. You wipe it away with your sleeve, leaving only small traces of it.

Finally, it shined on him. A half-conscious Simon, who you can barely lift into the truck. He gives a little way, but your arms are putty by the end of the ordeal. He’s slumped in the seat, and you haven’t bothered to buckle him in.

You climb inside the driver’s seat, reversing quickly to make it back to the motel. The lack of guests will make patching him up easier, but the prospect of what unfolded is not providing much comfort. You’re speeding down the strip of unpaved road, eventually greeted by the few street lights illuminating the town.

You slow when you reach the parking space, claiming the one directly across from your room, so transporting Simon is easier. Luckily, the few residents that live there have retreated in for the night, leaving no prying eyes around.

You palm his pockets, locating the room key. There’s no time for slippery fingers or trembling hands. You make way for yourself and him by opening the door first, then pulling him out of the truck. He’s putting as much weight on himself as he can, but you’re left to do most of the literal heavy lifting.

Simon was otiosely dropped onto his bed, left to writhe only for a few seconds while you grabbed the rest of the camping kit from the backseat. When you return and lock the doors behind you, you’re quick to dig through the luggage for pieces of clothing. Ones you can put underneath his torso to prevent the mess his wounds are going to make.

You fish the knife he kept in his pocket out, cutting through the soaked t-shirt fabric. It glides off easily, allowing your amateur eyes to feast on the punctures. They aren’t deep, clearly not done with enough force to do serious internal damage, but there’s enough for the blood loss to be his biggest problem.

Simon must’ve finished him off before he could rough him up more—you could tell by how jagged the last stab was—like the man’s blade had been ripped away hastily.

“The bourbon…” He murmurs, bringing the bottle to your attention. Something you’ll be able to use. The self-medication that was slowly killing him might just be his saving grace.

You zip to the counter, unscrewing the cap from the bottle. He nods his head, bracing himself like he’s been through his a hundred times. He probably has, for all you know. The fawn-tinted liquid sizzles at his wounds, both disinfecting and irritating the reddened, puffy flesh.

He’s gritting his teeth under the mask, clenching one of the towels you laid out for dear life. Still, handling the pain better than you expected. You, on the other hand, were minutes from spewing.

The blood was coming out faster than you could keep up with, and no matter how many times you dug through that camping kit, it was only small bandages and ointment. You had no choice, you had to get to that pharmacy.

First, you’re hunched over the sink, scrubbing away the crimson coating you. You take off your jacket, ridding yourself of your bloodied clothes. One of his hoodies will have to do, and it will cover the remnants remaining in your hair. From how squeamish the sight was making you, you could swear you were paler than the man actively bleeding out.

Next, you’re out the door again, darting down the slick streets. Those storm clouds you saw earlier had begun to rain down on you. Good for the crime scene miles away, but not for your joints. That taste of blood, pinching in your side as you forced yourself to keep going, closing in on the pharmacy eventually.

Heaving in the first-aid aisle, grabbing any sterile gauze you see, then a box of gloves. Of course, the selection is limited. The townsfolk probably aren’t playing mob doctor like you are right now.

Once you’ve made uneducated guesses on what to get, it’s like you’re reminded of the dying man in your hotel room. There’s no time to pay, and no active cameras—no time to question the logistics of it all. Besides, the geriatric clerk barely gave you a passing glance when you stormed inside.

You’re out the back door, looping around the building until you’re back on the sidewalk again, racing with the supplies hooked under your arm. You’ve only been away minutes, but those were precious minutes where he could’ve hemorrhaged even more.

The rain putters heavily, coating your lashes like it did in the parking lot of the supermarket, daring you to stumble in disorientation.

You fiddle with the key, nearly kicking the door down when it struggles. It gives way eventually, and you’ve slammed it, already sitting on the edge of the bed. He kept a hand on his wounds while you were away, luckily, but he’s starting to slip again.

You peel Simon’s large fingers away, then look at the supplies before you. You rush to the sink and sterilize your fingers, darting your gaze from the sink back to him.

You look down at it—the engagement ring you haven’t been able to take off all this time.

“Fuck it.” You mutter, tearing it off your finger. It clatters somewhere in the sink, and you leave it there to get back to Simon. You tear the cardboard encasing the gloves, slipping them onto your trembling fingers—partially from the cold rain, as well as the know-nothing decisions you’re going to make to treat him.

Stitches are out of the question, so you’re going to have to pack the wounds—something you've seen on a medical show once. You unravel the roll of gauze, cutting off small sections of it with the knife, and then get to work.

He’s lucky he’s knocked out because he’d probably cringing right now—from your medical care, not your fingers digging around at his wounds.

You loop the bandage around your index finger, trying to recall the steps. You push it deep enough to prevent it from bleeding through, stuffing the gashes in a zig-zag pattern. One by one, you move to the next wound until they’re all packed.

If these stabs had been any deeper, there would be two bodies in the bed of the truck right now—one of which would be the owner. Opportunely, they hadn’t bled through the gauze so far.

The exhaustion caught up with you quickly, but you were determined to keep an eye on him. Without him, you were screwed, plain and simple. He wasn’t going to die and leave you with this unexplainable mess, one that he got you into when he took you on this hellacious joyride.

—

You must’ve dozed sometime in the night because the sunrise was peaking through the gaps of the curtains when your eyes opened. Not to mention, Simon was shoving you away from him, grunting as he was finally able to sit up.

He peered down at the evidence of the unpractised medical attention you’d given him. His fingers found the bottle of Kentucky still on the nightstand, and he took a slug from it, feeling the tension release a little bit.

The sight of the room surprised him a bit—the medical supplies and luggage thrown around, the clothing laid out below him, and not to mention the blood still dried on your fingers.

He finds his footing, despite the frazzled expression you’re maintaining. He’s been here before, in fact, been closer to death many times. This was nothing to Simon—“just a scratch” as he’d say. He grabs one of the only clean shirts left, slipping it on to cover himself.

After he’s taken another drink, he turns to you, standing above you with authority. This was no longer a game of cat and mouse, it was past that now. He had bigger problems, like the corpse in the bed of his truck, and the prospect of more of those men coming.

He finally finds the words when he sees you’re no longer wearing your ring. “What’s this bloke's name, the one who sent his dogs on us?”

You shake your head in confusion, but his clenched jaw is persistent and only going tighter. You’re forced to swallow the lump forming in your throat. You, too, can tell things are changing, and it’s become more personal for Simon than he’d like to admit.

 You utter his name, as he’s forced you to reveal it. “Cal. His name is Cal.”

He takes a sharp inhale, taking in the information. The hands that were resting at his sides have now turned to fits. “After we take care of that problem in the back of my truck, we’re gonna find this bastard.” You could swear steam would be coming out of his ears by now.

He grabs his truck keys off the table and starts towards the door, growling something under his breath that you didn’t make out,

“I’m gonna find this bastard…”

TAGLIST: @random-thot-generator @littleobsessionsandlifeslessons @illyanam1011

[nerdpoe]

A Jotunn, a Pirate, and a Wraith walk into the DC Universe-(part 3, final)

Part 1, Part 2, Ao3

Jason was shit out of luck.

He was out of bullets, down a leg, Damian had gotten himself knocked unconscious, and they were still completely surrounded.

Jason still nudged the youngest Bat as far behind him as he could.

He'd been the only one close enough when the word that Ra's had finally managed to kidnap Damian had reached him, and was still too late to spare the kid from the League of Assassin's particular version of a warm welcome.

He'd still been the first on scene, and fuck him for admitting it, but Bruce had been right.

He should have waited for backup.

Because he had not only fucked himself, but he'd also screwed over Damian.

The League began to close in.

And Jason had nowhere else to run.

He back was quite literally to a pit, and everywhere else was filled with League Assassins.

Jason forced himself to stand back up.

With one hand braced against the ledge of the pit, he shifted so that his weight was on his unbroken leg.

The blood running down his arm dripped into the Lazarus Pit, he took only a brief moment to watch it mix with the vibrant green.

'If I don't get out of this,' Jason thought as he turned away and back towards their enemies, 'Then at least let me fall in the Pit so I can make the Pay.'

The League Assassins...started taking steps back.

Jason, against his better judgement, turned his head just enough to peek behind him.

Then he turned around so hard he accidentally threw himself to the ground.

There was something rising from the Lazarus Pit.

It...looked like a man, ascending into the air until his feet didn't touch the green Waters he hovered above.

The air, which had had at least a small bit of movement from crossbreezes and rising heat, went completely still, and the scent of blood and ozone polluted the air.

White hair flickered like fire, licking at the air. The man's clawed hands flexed, and his dead dead dead red eyes bore into Jason's soul. His skin was blue, but wasn't that normal?

All corpses had a blue tint to them, after all.

And Jason had seen so fucking many.

The man's clothes appeared to be tactical in nature, or they had been at one point. They were battered, stained, burned. There was a shawl of sorts that clung to him through no visible means, it's ends turning into a wispy mist that shrouded and outlined the man in equal measure.

He floated soundlessly, not even pretending to take any steps as he moved forward, those glowing red eyes completely focused on the buffet of prey in front of him.

Jason could actually hear some of the Assassins attempting to run.

Hell, he could feel the Pit within him cowering.

The man in front of him was fucking dangerous.

Everything about him screamed Pain. Every movement was restrained, like a panther going in for a kill.

Then the man smiled; a cruel thing that Jason had seen on far too many people. The kind of people he hunted, the kind of people he hired, the kind of person he'd become.

And between one blink and the next, the man was working to prove that he could deliver pain and cruelty just as well as he could threaten it, deep, harsh laughter bouncing off of the walls of the cave; even as he was decorating said walls red.

Lightning lit up the cavern, illuminating just how well the new red paintjob on the walls matched the mans eyes, and Jason looked away. He instead used that opportunity to check on Damian.

He ignored the screaming and the begging, the wet noises and charred flesh scents, and came to the satisfactory conclusion that Damian would be alright with medical treatment.

Then, as Jason managed to drag himself yet again into a standing position, it was done. Everything had fallen silent, and the man was standing in front of him with a sneering smile that was all fangs and satisfaction.

"Hey kid," the man said, snapping his blood-covered fingers in Jason's face, "Pay up."

Jason jerked back, almost blacking out as he twisted his broken leg.

"Pay you...with what, motherfucker? I'm broke as shit and I sure as fuck didn't summon you." Jason lied through his teeth when he successfully fought off the light-headedness. He was, like, pretty sure material wealth didn't mean much to Spirits.

Which he was fairly certain was what this was.

Blood, Lazarus Water, intense Desire and Will?

Probably accidentally a summoning.

One Jason absolutely refused to take responsibility for.

"Oh no, you don't get to fuckin' lie to me," the man-spirit-thing rumbled, resting a hand on Jason's chest, "I just did all that work for you, you ungrateful shitstain, I deserve a snack at least."

Then the hand plunged into his chest, and Jason became painfully aware that Damian was absolutely awake when he heard the kid scream his name.

His first name.

Fuck, he was gonna die, wasn't he?

But it didn't hurt. There wasn't even any additional blood, really.

Then the man ripped his arm back, and in his hand he held...a very angry green blob?

Which he then ate.

"Fuck, that's some potent shit. Thanks for the liquor kid; you're too young for it anyways."

With that, the man disappeared entirely.

Jason slid to the ground and largely ignored Damian's desperate pawing at his chest.

What the absolute shit had just happened?

The other half of what the man had said caught up to his brain just as the rest of the family came barging in.

"...But I am old enough to drink!"

[thecreelhouse]

tramps like us

Paring: Gator Tillman x Fem!Reader

Summary: The first morning together in Brooklyn doesn’t go as smoothly as you would’ve hoped, but that’s on brand for your relationship with Gator by now.

Still beats being stuck in the Midwest by a long shot.

CW/tags: language, internalized ableism, hurt/comfort, angst, some fluff, PTSD, smut, PiV sex, dirty talk

WC: 6.8k

〘 series masterlist ✧.┊this is a sequel to part time soulmate, full time problem ✧.┊listen to the series playlist here. ✧.┊read on AO3 〙

A/N: hi y’all! not much to add here except things will pick up more after this chapter, but I hope y’all enjoy reading this still! Tysm for any support on this so far, I’m glad even a handful of y’all are enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it 🥹🫶🏻

chapter 3 ✧. ┊

slip the noose - the maine

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋆｡♪ I was on the verge of breaking down / then you came around / and not a second too late ♬ ₊˚.

·········

Nightmares were bound to happen after the torture Gator endured. You anticipated them, and he was already experiencing them with the little sleep he got in the hospital.

The first night in your apartment, you hoped you’d both be able to sleep through most of the night, at least. Instead, it was broken for you both.

You’d wake up every so often, panicking that Gator never made it home, only to realize he did make his way to you; an arm thrown over you while his breaths stayed steady. You didn’t even have your own usual nightmare, it was just muscle memory to come back to consciousness, scared and frantically feeling out the usually empty side of your bed. Out of instinct, your arm shot out, accidentally hitting Gator’s side, waking him up.

“Don’t remember you bein’ a sleep puncher, Jesus Christ,” He muttered as he tightened his hold around you. “M’right here, darlin’.”

“You’d say that, and then you’d leave. You’d tell me to stay brave and try to calm me down, an- and— ” Your eyes adjusted to the darkness around the both of you, just enough to be able to make out the outline of Gator next to you. As your bottom lip wobbled, you realized it really was just a dream, yet you couldn’t help whispering, “Don’t go.”

With a comforting forehead kiss, he rasped out, “Wouldn’t go anywhere without you, I promise.”

After Gator would calm you down, falling back asleep with you, some hours would pass before he was the one waking you up with his own painful, twisted dreams.

His were much, much worse than yours. They’d start with a whimper, so soft, you’d almost miss it if it weren’t for the way his body would tremble violently next to you, shaking you awake.

You hummed, confused as your eyes adjusted to the darkness again. Once Gator brought his legs toward himself, almost in a fetal position, trying to make himself small, trying to hide, that’s when concern would kick in, waking you up faster.

Attempting to gently shake him awake was useless, whimpers turning into crying as he would shield his face with his hands, something he wished he could’ve tried the first time around.

“Gator, baby, it’s okay, you’re safe,” You struggled for the right words to comfort him; he could reassure you that he was back, that a chance at a real life together was safe and sound, but you couldn’t give him that reassurance in return. His eyesight would never be the same again. He’d never get that time lost to that grim weak back. His life was drastically altered by the frightening attack, and you knew he’d be blaming himself forever.

The crying turned to cries for help, growing louder as his voice would crack with desperation. You didn’t want to scare him, but all you could think of doing next was holding him, telling him over and over that he was safe, that he’s so, so far from the place and people that failed him. That you wouldn’t let anyone hurt him like that ever again.

When Gator jolted awake, he looked at you, hyperventilating, but relieved to see you, to see he wasn’t back in his personal hell on earth. Then the realization that he could only see you, see anything with one eye, would hit like a ton of bricks; his hands would tremble as they reached his face, calloused fingers running over the bandage over his eye— or, rather, the spot it once belonged to.

Everything would rush back; every detail of his vivid nightmare was real, something he couldn’t ever wake up from unscathed.

·········

Gator’s the first to wake up, squinting as he throws his arm over his face, blocking out the sunlight tumbling through the large, old windows.

“Thought ya’ liked blackout curtains. Jesus it’s fuckin’ bright,” He grumbles as his limbs wind around you from behind. His face ducks into the crook of your neck to shield himself from the painful brightness.

You answer, barely awake, “I do, they don’t make ‘em that tall though. Or maybe they do. I dunno. Who fuckin’ cares.” You’re grumpy, already feeling the weight of the broken sleep you got heavy on your body. “Go back to sleep.”

Gator sighs, frustrated. He doesn’t want to make a big deal; he meant it last night when he said he didn’t want to disrupt your life with his needs… but that’s just it, they’re needs. Learning to push his pride aside to ask for help is going to be a routine challenge for a while.

Just as you’re slipping back into slumber, it hits you.

“Oh, oh my god, fuck, wait— ” You roll over to find Gator’s eye scrunched shut. “M’so sorry, I forgot—“

“Y’just found out last night, I don’t expect ya’ to remember everythin’ at once.” He buries his face in the pillow before giving a muffled response, “M’not supposed to stay in the dark all the time, ‘cause that can make the sensitivity worse. But they don’t want me exposin’ my eye to too much light either, that’ll just trigger migraines and whatever. There’s no winnin’ with this shit.”

“Where’s your glasses? I can grab em’ quick, would that help?” You don’t want to come off overbearing, but you don’t just want to shrug his needs off either. 

“Don’t, not yet. Just… c’mere,” He throws the comforter over the two of you as you scoot closer. He reaches out for your hips, and your arms find their way to his shoulders, resting lazily on one another. It’s not pitch black, but it’s a major difference regardless. “There. Problem solved without gettin’ up.”

“Yeah, ‘til we get sweaty and suffocate under here,” You giggle as you rest your head on his chest. It’s so relieving to hear his heartbeat again, but right now, it’s picking up its pace.

“Won’t get too hot unless we start fuckin’ around.” Gator jokes as his thumbs stroke along the skin under your shirt. It really was a joke, but it makes him painfully aware of how hard he’s been since waking up. “Unless y’wanna find out for sure.”

“Oh, that was real smooth, Tillman,” You snort, ever so gently slotting your leg between his, giving just enough pressure to make him shudder. “Guess we should find out, y’know… for science.”

He laughs— a sound you’ve been aching to hear again— head falling forward onto your shoulder. “Yeah, sure thing, freak. For science.” You’re already sliding down his body, pausing at the hem of his shirt, rolling it upward and kissing along his body until you pull it off of him. 

Gator’s blushing when you roll your hips slowly, teasing the two of you together. His hands slide up your thighs, grabbing at your soft, plushy curves once he reaches your hips again. You lean in closer, hearing his breath hitch as he waits patiently for your next move.

“You want me to make y’feel good? Let me show you how much I missed you?”

His hips buck up into you, “Uh-huh, p- please.” He leans up to kiss you, impatient, but you softly push him back into the pillows, earning a sound somewhere between a groan and a whine, all raspy but desperate. His fingers tighten on your hips.

“Can you be good for me?” Your question sends his blood rushing south, cock twitching as it tries kicking underneath you. He nods wildly, breaths shallow as he watches you strip your shirt off, left only in your underwear; Gator’s thumbs sneak underneath the thin straps of the sheer pair, hands sliding back to your ass.

You sigh at his touch, finally leaning down to kiss him, soft and slow, a pace he doesn’t want right now, but one he needs. You want to take your time with him, make him forget about everything for even a moment.

The two of you try to take over with your own paces; you’re giving soft, open mouthed kisses, until Gator bites your bottom lip, pulling it out just a bit before releasing it. He shoots a mischievous grin your way.

With an eye roll, you sigh, “Why are you being a brat?”

“I dunno,” Gator shrugs, stifling a laugh, “New year, new me.”

“Alright, I’m done,” You swing your leg over him to roll out of the makeshift blanket fort, but his hands, still on you, bring you back. You yelp and laugh as he rolls on top of you. “Gator!”

“I know you wanna be sweet,” Gator showers your face in kisses, pulling soft giggles out of you. “And I want that too, trust me, but it’s fuckin’ hot under here,” His goofy demeanor falls off as he reaches your neck, kisses slowing to a teasing crawl, sucking along the sensitive skin. Instinctively, your hips roll up into his with a whimper; Gator chuckles into your neck, “and I just need t’be in you already.”

“Need y- you too,” your voice barely reaches above a whisper, greedy hands— one grabbing his waistband to drag his boxers down, the other reaching out to lazily palm and stroke him. He bucks into your touch as breathy groans fan out along your skin.

Gator holds himself up with his casted arm, ignoring the pain the pressure brings while the other reluctantly pushes your hand away from his throbbing length, turning your whines of protest into jaw-dropping silence as he pushes into you slowly.

Shuddering out a harsh, shaky breath, you admit, “F- fuck, I forgot how big you are.”

Gator’s usual cocky smirk, the one you once hated, plays up on his features as he lets your confession go to his head. “It’s okay, darlin’, I’ll remind ya’.” He pulls back to snap back in, teasingly slow, while he slides his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together. “God, you feel so fuckin’ good. Missed you so much.”

You grab his face, crashing your lips onto his, moans growing louder as he gradually thrusts faster, the two of you unable to get enough of one another. The more he stretches you out, the harder your nails dig into his skin as they drag down his back. The deeper he gets, the more obscene your soft, sweet moans become.

When he pulls back, you’re able to sneak in a rushed, “Missed you more,” before Gator’s hand is pushed against your mouth. Despite being muffled, you still squeak in surprise.

“You’re gon’ wake up the whole fuckin’ house with that filthy mouth,” Gator growls, weakening into a moan as your walls tighten around him. Despite being muffled, you’re still noisy. “Jesus, darlin’, you want the whole city to hear ya’?” 

Both of your hands wrap around his wrist, pulling his hand off of your face while looking up at Gator. “Maybe.”

“What happened to bein’ sweet?” Gator doesn’t give you a chance to answer before slamming into you. A breathy cry slips out when he snaps his hips into you again, harder, deeper. “Want everyone to know you’re mine, huh?”

“Uh-huh… m’yours, Gator,” You whimper. His pace is steady and rough, grunting with each thrust.

“Gonna show everyone you’re mine, too,” He murmurs, leaning down to kiss your neck, which turns to sucking along your skin, to biting, making sure he really leaves his mark behind. As he leaves rough love bites down your neck, across your shoulder, along your chest, all while fucking you mercilessly, your eyes roll back with each moan of yours sounding sharper and shattered.

Lips wrapped around one of your hardened peaks, Gator sucks the sensitive spot, finding an odd satisfaction in the way the jewelry of your piercings clash against his teeth. Your fingers wind through his hair, tugging softly, at first, but when his touch ends up on your clit, you jolt, roughly pulling his hair.

“Oh— fu- fuck,” You’re a mess; you wanted the first time after reuniting to be sweet, sentimental, even, but as you’re falling apart, you realize this is what you really needed from Gator. 

“Fuck it,” He murmurs, kissing back up your body while shoving the blanket off the two of you. You, of course, immediately panic, squinting as you adjust to the harsh morning light.

Your hands splayed across his chest, trying to push him back and cover the windows somehow. “No, wait, waitwaitwait- you’re gonna get a migr—“ Gator grabs your wrists in one hand to pin above your head, your face in another, considerate and careful with the healing face wound, thumb tracing your bottom lip as he slows his thrusts. 

The whine you release is borderline pathetic, triggering his signature smirk yet again, filling you to the hilt before stopping completely. You pant, squirming beneath him, desperate for him to fucking move.

“Angel,” He rasps, breath shallow, “I’m sayin’ this with all the love in the world: shut the fuck up.” Gator crashes his lips onto yours, silencing your filthy sounds of pleasure with urgent, needy kisses. At the same time, he nearly pulls out, only to slam back into you, resuming his relentless pace from earlier. 

It’s not like the two of you are only making up for lost time from the past week and change, you’re making up for lost time in the last ten years. Of what could’ve been— maybe.

Then again, maybe it wouldn’t have been the right time or place if the two of you tried back then. Maybe you’re both right where you’re supposed to be, now. And if it’s the two of you seriously starting your relationship in a city neither of you are from, navigating similar traumas while supporting one another through the individual ones, while fucking each other senseless any chance you get, you’ll take it.

When Gator pulls away, his hands grab your legs from the back, pushing them back towards you, filling you even deeper. “Baby, baby, please—” Your mind is going numb, with only thoughts of Gator ruining you right now. “Y- you’ll let me be sweet next— oh, god— ” He throws his head back as you feel yourself fluttering around him. “— next t- time, right?”

“I’ll let ya’ do anythin’ you want if you can cum for me,” He pants, hips stuttering, “‘Cause I’m real fuckin’ close… shit— want y’to cum with me, can y’do that?”

Your answer only comes in the form of shakily rubbing your clit, only for a moment, before Gator swats your hand away, replacing it with his. He releases your legs to lean back down to you, admiring the way you’re coming undone.

“That’s it, darlin’, takin’ me so well,” He murmurs, tensing up as you feel him pulsate within you. “F- fuck m’close.”

Your back arches into him, and he takes the opportunity to slide his arm under, pulling you closer while watching your eyes roll back, not even bothering to hold back the sounds Gator’s been aching to hear the most. Your body tenses up, shaking, while you grab his face, kissing him roughly— and that’s what finally sends Gator over the edge with you.

Between frenzied kisses, both of you spill rushed, murmured praises and phrases to one another, adding to the chaos of moans and groans. Rough or soft, fast or slow, everything always comes back to the love you have for one another.

As he begins to catch his breath, Gator pulls back with his hand back on your face, thumb stroking your cheek. “I really fuckin’ missed you.”

You raise your brows, smirking, “I think you just missed fucking me.”

Gator opens his mouth to protest but shrugs, “Yeah, that too.” 

Giggling, you reply, “I missed you, Gator.” You softly place your hand over his eye. “Go put your glasses on before you get a migraine, asshole.” 

“Well, I can’t, because I can’t fuckin’ see when you do that,” He laughs it off when you pull your hand back, cringing at yourself.

 “… My bad,” You shoot an apologetic smile.

“Also… I’m really comfy right now, darlin’.” He lays on your chest, still inside. As you give a forced, comical sigh, your phone goes off. You reach over to the nightstand, grabbing your phone and a box of tissues to eventually clean off with. Unlocking your phone, you find a new message from Ivy.

 Y’all are SO lucky no one else is home. 💀

“Oh my god, fuck.” Your face falls, mortified.

Gator doesn’t move, “What’s wrong?”

“I thought no one was home—” You admit, going over everyone’s schedules in your head. You knew them by heart by now.

Except for Ivy and her goddamn chaotic nurse schedule.

“So that’s why you were so loud,” He teases.

“Yeah, except poor Ives heard us,” You feel your face heat up, quickly typing an apology to Ivy. Gator’s head snapped up from the spot he lay on your chest, looking horrified.

“Fuck. So much for a good first impression.” He slips out of you, both of you too distracted by your mistake to whine about the loss of one another. 

“You’re fine, it’s just this old house’s dang vents. No one else in the house can hear up here except Ivy.” You explain, dragging a hand down your face. “She heard me wake up the other night from—“ You stop yourself, not wanting to guilt Gator with more details about your nightmares.

One night of Gator experiencing you waking up in a panic was more than he needed to know, or see.

“From… ?” Gator brow quirks, waiting for you to finish the thought.

You wave your hand, like it’s nothing, “Just a dumb nightmare, nothin’ to worry about.”

Gator sits up, studying your face while you try distracting yourself, texting Ivy more apologies.

I owe you a coffee. And new headphones. Or earplugs. I’m SO sorry.

Your phone’s yanked from your hands after pressing send. “Hey! What gives?” 

Gator’s holding it in the arm farthest from you, behind his back, out of reach from you. “You’re the worst liar.” He’s always been able to see right through you when you try brushing off your feelings. “‘Nothin’ to worry about’ usually means it is somethin’ to worry ‘bout.”

With a sigh, you ask, “Can we talk about this later? Please?” You reach over him, grabbing your phone back; he doesn’t really put up a fight about it anyway. You read Ivy’s responses while Gator throws his shirt and boxers back on before wandering around the room.

You’re fine, but we should definitely tell Bea we need to fix this lmao.

Also my headphones are noise cancelling 😂 but I’ll totally take you up on the coffee 🥰 

Curiosity leads him along the wall filled with film and concert posters, art, and a generous amount of photos with or of your friends; it makes him smile, seeing all the memories you’ve made since moving here. You finally got the life you wanted, the life you deserved.

Yet there’s a pang of sadness in his chest when he realizes he missed out on a whole decade of your life. An entire decade of you growing into your own person. A long, painful decade without you. 

Celebrating your firsts, tiny and mighty, like getting your first job out here, first time you figured out the subway without a map, what kind of face you must’ve made when you got your first tattoo, because Gator knows you make over dramatic faces just when getting blood drawn.

Or your first Halloween out of your parents’ home, where enjoying the holiday was forbidden; they believed it had some kind of demonic connotation, when you just loved having one day of the year to be someone you weren’t. A tiny escape from your dark reality.

What was it like opening your own little bookstore? He wishes he could’ve heard you ramble forever when you were planning it out. Or watch your heart melt in real time over the stray cats that made themselves at home in the bookshelves. 

Gator noticed at the edge of the wall some older photos, tacked up on the surface. As he got closer, he noticed most of them were with your sister, along with little pictures she drew for you. Scribbles and doodles that you cherished enough to laminate.  

Then, he saw them, some pictures of the two of you. Three of them.

The first photo was a memory Gator had forgotten until now; you were kids, running around on a gorgeous spring day, picking dandelions to make wishes on as you’d blow on them, like candles. Except, the photo caught the exact moment you blew yours directly into Gator’s face, leaving him with a scrunched, sour face while you giggled, having too much fun to notice at first.

A photobooth strip is the second photo, or set of photos; you’re both a few years older, probably in middle school. Looking back at him are 4 preteen camera-ready faces: your hand posed in a peace sign behind his head for bunny ears, his fingers pinched your cheeks as he laughed at your reaction, both of you crossing your eyes and sticking your tongues out, with the last shot the two of you laughing together— both at and with one another.

There’s something in all 4 shots that sticks out like a sore thumb: a handprint shaped bruise, prominent in a shadowed grip around your forearm, and the incredibly dark circles under Gator’s eyes.

The memory of that day rushes back to him, after staying buried for so long. 

With the slightest bit of pressure on your arm, Gator grabbed your arm to lead you into the mall’s outdated arcade. Immediately, you hissed and yanked it back. He glanced back at you, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’,” Your answer was quick, a little too quick for his liking. He reached out again to take a look at your arm, touch light and cautious this time. 

You were covering a large, handprint shaped bruise, wrapped around your arm, and Gator’s not sure how he missed it earlier. Even with your hand attempting to hide the bruise, it was still clear what it was from.

 “Last night?”

That was all he had to ask for you to nod, because he knew. He knew all too well how your father always treated you, but now the bastard wasn’t even trying to hide the evidence. 

You were well aware of the damage Gator’s father was leaving on him, too. Even if only through words, it was a lot of emotional neglect and manipulation. If not on him, then on Nadine, and Gator hadn’t been able to sleep most nights when he knew something sinister was going on behind closed doors.

“Y’had a rough night too, I guess.” Gator frowned, confused, until you pointed at the heavily shadowed bags under his eyes. He nodded, almost numb to it all by now. At least, he pretended to be.

No further words were exchanged on the abuse either of you endured regularly. This was just how things would end up. Not that one didn’t care about the other, or want to help, but you both knew your situations, vastly different, still held a similar weight in consequences. There wasn’t much more for either of you to do to help the other, so these conversations lead to finding ways to stay distracted, to cheer one another up.

That day, Gator insisted on using the arcade’s photobooth, only intended as a distraction, but it’d later become a memory you both appreciated, even if life was bleak behind it all.

“Bet I can make funnier faces than you,” You teased as you slid into the booth, knowing Gator always loved a good challenge.

He slid in next to you with a smirk, “You’re on.”

Gator moves onto the last photo before getting too caught up in the photobooth memory. He immediately recognizes it from the nights the two of you would go to the drive in. Sometimes, Willow came along, and this is definitely a photo she took.

It’s a little shaky, but the image shows you curled up next to Gator, head on his shoulder while you’re dead asleep. His arm is slung around your shoulders, holding you close as he’s also snoozing away. Both of you were tucked under a blanket in the bed of his truck. He remembers asking Willow for a copy of the photo after she showed him, and kept it in his wallet for the longest time.

It made no sense to Gator; when you left home, the parting gift you graciously gave him was a silent, cold, middle finger from across the street. 

… Why would you bring these with you, hundreds of miles from home, if you hated him back then?

Your arms wrap around Gator’s waist from behind, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“H- hi, darlin’.”

“Sorry, did you wanna be alone?”

 “Huh? Oh,” Gator turned to face you, still in your embrace. “No, no. Just surprised you have these here.”

You lean to the side, looking around him at the childhood memories. “Yeah, of course I’d have ‘em.”

“But you hated me when you moved… why bring them with you if you hated me?”

“I still loved the memories.” You admit, looking up at him. “It hurt, but it hurt more to think about leavin’ these behind. I couldn’t leave you behind completely.”

It wasn’t the answer Gator expected, but he still accepted it graciously.

“C’mon, I bet Lovebug’s gonna want more cuddles from ya’.” You try moving past the weight of this conversation and the unfinished previous one. “You want any coffee? M’gonna make some.” You’re already heading for the stairs.

Gator watches you before eventually following, “No thanks, darlin’. Can’t really have it anymore… or any caffeine, really.”

He’s only halfway down the set of stairs when you snap your head up from your spot in the kitchenette. “Wait, seriously?” 

He looks around for his glasses, finding them in the window nook, where Lovebug is curled up next to them. When Gator grabs his glasses, Lovebug makes a chirping purr, head instantly pushing into his hand with affection. 

“Hey, lil’ guy,” He scratches his head for a moment before heading back to you, glasses on. They’re different from the ones you saw last night, lenses darker— as if that was even possible— than the ones from last night.

Confused, you ask, “How many pairs do you have?”

“Just these, they’re those… uh, what are they called? Transition lenses? They’re supposed to adjust to being indoors and outdoors, or whatever.” You notice Gator keeps ending his explanations with a “or whatever”, like he’s trying to brush it all off. Like if he keeps acting like this drastic life change isn’t that big of a deal, maybe he can cope with it easily.

“Must be more helpful to have one less pair to worry about, huh?” You try to keep the conversation lighthearted, but it doesn’t earn much of a reaction from Gator. “So, uh, why can’t you have caffeine anymore?”

He slumps into the chair at the small table, head in his hands while he tries avoiding the sunlight of the window right next to the kitchen. “Somethin’ ‘bout adding too much pressure to the eye. I can’t remember.” His mood is falling pretty fast, leaving you concerned. 

“Okay, well— ah, fuck.” You open the cabinet, finding only a bag of coffee grounds, not even tea to offer him, and certainly no food. The last thing on your mind was running errands while waiting for Gator to finally get here. “… I might have to go grab groceries. You don’t gotta come with me, though, just gimme a list of what you—”

“I’ll come with ya’, it’s no trouble,” though he means what he says, Gator sounds so exhausted. 

You turn to lean against the counter, arms crossed over your chest as you chew on your bottom lip while you think. Maybe he just needs another day to chill out; it was a rough trip after over a week, nearly two weeks, maybe— you weren’t sure anymore when the days began to blur together— of straight pain and heartbreak for Gator.

“We can just hang here if you want, and go to the store tomorrow. I’ll order food— please tell me you like bagels, I can’t remember— ”

“Yeah, f’course I do. Who doesn’t like bagels?”

“People without souls.” You joke dryly, lifting a laugh out of Gator, easing your worry a little. “We can just take it easy today, okay? And I’ll figure out what to do about these— ”You point at the windows aggressively, “— maybe find some long ass curtains, or somethin’. I dunno. We’ll figure it out, though.”

Gator gets up to pull you into a hug, kissing your forehead, too. “Thank you.”

“Y’gotta stop thankin’ me for the bare minimum, babe. This is your home, too.” You tease while returning the hug. “Now, I don’t know ‘bout you, but I really need a shower. Wanna join?”

·········

The bathroom’s dark interior was soothing to the ache in Gator’s head, an inevitable migraine on the horizon from the light everywhere else in the apartment. Between that and just relaxing with you, his mood seemed to have lifted a bit.

The idea of a shower fell off once Gator saw the massive, clawfoot tub. The two of you ended up getting comfortable in a hot bath instead, turning pruny as a conversation carried on. 

“Would surgery help?” You ask while sinking into the water, leaning back into Gator’s chest. You feel him shrug against your back, keeping his casted arm out of the water while the other was wrapped around you.

“That’s an option, but m’kinda freaked out by the idea of somethin’ goin’ wrong on the only eye I got left.” He tries laughing it off, but his voice cracks at the end of his sentence. “Doc gave me a list of referrals when I told him I was movin’ out here, so I gotta go through those to keep up with some kinda treatment.”

“I can help, or if you want, I can ask Ivy, she might know some of the doctors. She told me to tell ya’ if you need any injuries looked at, she’s got ya’.” As you relay the message, you turn around to get a better look at the bandage over his eye socket, holding his face gently as you sit in his lap.

“What’s it look like?” Your question would be forward with anyone else, but Gator knows you’re just curious because you care. 

“Looks like nothin’ you’d wanna see.” He rests his head back against the tub with a sigh, eye fluttering shut. “It’s gross. M’not sure what I’m gonna do when this needs to come off.”

“Like, what, use an eye patch?”

He nods, hand reaching around your hip while his large hand rests on the small of your back, gently pushing you closer. “Or a prosthetic eye, but those fuckers are expensive.” You’re listening intently, but you feel him, half hard underneath you. 

“If this eye starts goin’ they told me I can look into those white canes, or uh, a service dog, but they’re really fuckin’ expensive.” He mutters, gazing back at you. “Darlin’, the way you’re sittin’ ain’t makin’ any of this easier to talk about.”

“Sorry,” You murmur, about to push back, but Gator’s grip keeps you in place.

“Didn’t say it had t’stop.” 

“Maybe you’re the one making it hard for me to be a good partner who listens.”

“You? Listenin’? Yeah, to everythin’ except when you decide to brat out.”

“Hey, you said it, not me.” 

Gator holds your face with the hand in the cast, grateful he can still move his fingers, for little things, like holding your chin to keep you from looking away. 

“Will this scare you away when it’s all healed?” He’s still talking about the space where his eye used to be.

Your brows scrunch together, confused and hurt for him that this is how he sees himself now. “What? Gator, y’gotta stop acting like this makes you some kinda’ monster.”

“I brought it on myself, I think I got every right to feel like a fuckin’ monster from the inside out.” He can’t look at you, pushing his head back as he stares up at the ceiling. You don’t miss the silent tear that slides down the side of his face. “I know if anyone else was in my shoes, I wouldn’t ever think of ‘em like this. But with myself, it- it’s on my mind, constantly. I’ve always felt like a failure, and now it feels like y’can see it, too.”

“This isn’t your fault, and I hope you can understand someday that you never deserved this.” You wish there was a way to show him, to make him believe this isn’t a fate anyone deserves. “I- I can only imagine how fuckin’ hard it is to get up every day and realize this is how things are, and will be, forever. I can only imagine how fuckin’ terrifying it was when it happened. None of this is easy, but you’re not facing this alone.”

Gator, sighing, isn’t satisfied with your response. You mean well. You genuinely care. But he can’t help feeling like a burden. He’s certain he’s a burden. Maybe he should’ve stayed home. You’ve been living the life you wanted, that you deserved, and he doesn’t want to hold you back from anything.

“It is my fault.”

“It’s not.”

“Why are you so set on tryin’ to see the good in me, anyway?” He sounds stuck somewhere between anger and grief, sitting up again. The warm water sloshes around the two of you, like waves building before a storm. “There’s nothin’ worth lookin’ for.”

You’re left stunned by his words. You reach for his face, holding him softly, but he can’t bring himself to look at you. “Gator, don’t say that. You hear me? Don’t you ever— ”

“I was already useless before this, now I- I feel like a waste of space—“

“Gator, enough.”

“No, y’know it’s the truth, y’know—“ 

“Enough! Useless? What, Roy said that, right? As if anything that piece of shit has ever said was worth its weight.” You’re all over the place with your feelings; angry, sad, filled with justified rage towards anyone who ever hurt Gator, flooded with grief for him, for what he endured and what he’ll live with forever.

“I want to help, not because I think you’re useless. I don’t see you as a waste of space. I’ll remind you every day that you’re so much more than the lies he told you. Every day until you begin to believe you’re worthy of a second chance.”

He doesn’t stop you, but that doesn’t stop him from tensing up underneath you as he holds his emotions back.

“And I ain’t the only one who believes in you. Everyone in this house already loves you, wants the best for you, even if y’all haven’t met yet. I know damn well Dot wouldn’t let ya’ talk like this either. You’ve got so many people in your corner who care about you, who want you to have the second chance you deserve.”

Gator won’t look at you still, jaw set while a few more stray tears fall.

“You’re allowed to grieve, get angry, anything this entire nightmare makes you feel— feel it, it’s valid.” You take a deep breath, “But you have to break out of the mindset your dad shoved you in. I know you, Gator. I have seen the best of you already. You’re protective, you’re smart—”

Gator scoffs a sharp, cold laugh. “Yeah? So smart I held onto a grudge until it ruined my life? Jesus, darlin’, you gotta accept the facts. I lost a part of me, literally, permanently and it’s all on me.”

You just finished saying he’s allowed to feel how he feels, but for some reason, that comment twists a rusty knife that’s still left in your heart all this time later. One you must’ve missed when you moved and began healing again.

This isn’t about you, this isn’t your grief to take and twist into your own, but the words shoot out before you can stop them. “You’re not the only person who lost an important part of themselves.”

“Don’t.” He snaps, finally glaring at you. “Me losing half of my sight ain’t the same as your loss.”

“Never said it was, but you can still live without that part of you. If I can do it I know you can.”

Gator lashes out, hands gripping the sides of the tub as you slide off of him, “You can have a baby again, you can try again, you have chances to try again, but I’ll never, ever get my vision back fully. Don’t fuckin’ compare the two.”

“Oh, for fucks’ sake— Gator, I’m not comparing them!” You’re angry; it’s just the two of you bouncing rage off of one another, misdirecting it completely. “I can’t try again, and you’d know if you’d just let me explain that when I was ready to.”

This isn’t your trauma to heal from, but yours isn’t his to heal from, either. You didn’t word this, any of this, the way you wanted. You just hoped to somehow, maybe, show him he wasn’t alone in feeling like a failure for things out of one’s control.

“No, it’s not the same as losing your eyesight, but I get losing something important, something that’s literally a part of your entire being. I don’t get another chance. I don’t get a re-do.”

His face falls as the anger drains from his features. “You… you don’t?”

“No, not without— look, I— I’m sorry, I shouldn’t shove myself into your trauma to try fixing it… I wanted to remind you that you’re not alone in feeling like a failure for something out of their control. You still find ways to keep living and moving forward. Just like I’ve done, like I am still doing… Sometimes it just helps to have that safe space to grieve. You have that here, with me, with anyone in this house.”

Taking a few deep breaths, Gator opens his arms, and immediately you return to his embrace. He leans into your shoulder, shuddering a sob while his arms close in around you, holding you close. “Fuckin’ hell… m’sorry—“

“You didn’t know. And you have every right to be upset, and upset with me, but don’t— please don’t ever believe for a second anything your father’s called you.” Your fingers soothingly scratch over his scalp while they run through his hair. In a moment of pettiness, you mutter, “If anything, he’s useless, rotting away in prison while you’re starting over to live a better life.”

He laughs through his tears into your neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Gator.”

An echoing, baby-like meow startles you both; you peek over the edge of the tub to find Lovebug looking up at the both of you with his wide eyes, purring loudly.

“We love you too, Lovebug, don’t worry,” Gator chuckles while putting his hand out for the cat to rub against. He rubs the tears out of his eye with the other hand.

“I can’t believe you’re not even here 24 hours and you stole my cat.” You narrow your eyes at Gator, smirking. “Can’t have shit in New York.”

“Aw, c’mon, we can have shared custody,” He jokes, now giving Lovebug chin scratches. The cat juts his chin out happily. “Lovebug, you’re cute and all, but I gotta give your mama some love, too.”

As if he understood what Gator was saying, Lovebug makes a beeline out the door. You watch in disbelief with your jaw dropped. “What the fuck are you? The cat whisperer?”

“Maybe,” Gator grins, stifling a laugh, “Ya’ think it works on this p— ”

“Gator, god help you if you’re about to make the joke I think you’re goin’ to make.” 

“Yeah, we need bagels. You’re hangry,” Gator teases, pulling you back into his lap as you scoff at him. “Can I do somethin’ quick before we get out? It’s really important.”

Your brows knit together while your laugh dies down, slightly concerned, but amused, too. “What’s important?”

Gator adjusts himself underneath you, slowly pushing into your entrance, watching as your smile fades into an open mouthed, silent moan while your head falls back. He holds you upright, hands gliding up your spine; one stays on your back, the other at the back of your neck as you grind down onto him. 

With his lips on your neck as you take over, rocking your hips into his, he groans, “Gotta make my girl feel good first.”