#apparently I was holding in a rant with my whole chest

[luna-lovegreat]

Wild's apology

Since I really love proper apologies and taking account for actions, I MUST rant about Wild's apology because there are so many details making it... good. Just good.

First panel face, he looks uncertain. Hyrule said the little guy wanted to talk to him, but he doesn't know if it's only one little guy

We have the best opening line we all love, hoping he can imitate Zelda's diplomacy. Wild did not- his apologizing varied wildly from Zelda's, and I think that's a really good thing

His Zelda's diplomacy is a royal style, seen in totk memories. When diplomatic, she uses formal words and straight posture, with her hands at her side or clasped in front. She doesn't need to say it's formal, since that's assumed. Wild did not imitate her exact style, but he kept the end goal of peace.

This whole first panel with him showing such tension, hoping with all his might it goes well, resolving to act the best he can to fix it... yes

There's something really telling about Wild's face walking in. He looks angry. With everything we've seen of his actions after twilight was injured, it's clear by now that when Wild's scared, it comes out as anger. All the previous yelling was because he was scared.

Since Wild's face looks angry walking in, after deciding to imitate diplomacy? I think he was terrified.

One thing I love watching in people is how much the smallest body parts can show their thoughts. Hands can tell a lot about how someone's feeling. When Wild starts talking to Four, his hands show he's being open.

Arms down at his side, palms up and hand reaching out. That hand and arm position shows vulnerability- he's literally opening his body to be open in his words and feelings.

And he's says "I know why you wanted to see me", which, well

lol

Still, he came in immediately speaking to work to patch things up. The words "I'm ashamed"... admitting you're wrong is hard. Even harder is discussing the feelings that come with it.

Moving on, Wild's moving ahead to apologizing.

Wild is not royalty, and neither is four. Truly imitating Zelda's diplomacy with royal posture and attitude would have been weird. What they are is warriors, comrades who win battles together. And four works with the captain, who certainly sets an example of military respect. This is where him not exactly imitating Zelda's diplomacy is better, since he is not a princess.

He's a soldier in this moment. We don't know how much he remembers of his initial knighthood, but his soldier diplomacy kicked in here. He's basically standing at attention in the side view. Four is much shorter than him, but his straight posture and forward facing head (not looking down) shows absolute respect regardless of height. He outright states it's a formal apology.

Awesome. It's not polished or perfect, there was a pause before the rather awkwardly phrased statement about initiating. But awkwardness makes it real. His face still looks fairly angry here! I still interpret it as fear.

His hands are straight at his side, then formally on his chest. He can't be the perfect knight anymore- instead he's awkward and unpolished. But he's doing diplomacy the best he knows how, even if four absolutely did not care about a formal tone.

Moving on! Four's listening.

Wild loosens up here. There's only so long our wild child can be formal, so he's not unnaturally pausing and trying to phrase things formally anymore

Hand placement: the hand behind the head is the Link pose we all know, where apparently it's a part of the hero's spirit when feeling awkward.

His hand goes from behind his head to held up in the air when saying "look, I'm sorry for shoving ya" I honestly like to think of this as pulling the apology from behind his head lol. Thinking for words "now where did I put that apology?" Finds it and holds it up "look! I'm sorry. It was just in the back of my mind."

His hand then goes down to his side, and he's open again. Palm out, he's putting him out there.

His word choice matters. "ya"

"Honestly, that warranted an all out brawl" ... good. He's saying his actions were wrong- that he deserved anger towards him. Saying "all out brawl" validates fours actions. It warranted an all out brawl... that says that to wild, what four did was ok. All of it sucked, but it's ok.

My favourite line. "Thanks for going easy on me." It's important in so many ways for humility, showing respect, and how four could have done more, blah blah blah anyways I like it because I can imagine he says that and then the purple part of four just grins like "yeah I totally could have beat you up glad we're clear on that". I mean Four has done nothing but manically cackle when someone mentions his secret, so I think he probably had a devilish grin inside when Wild said thanks for going easy on me.

It's an apology and it's awkward! Awkward pauses, awkward faces. Hand behind the head, "ya". It was awkward. He kept going, showed sincerity. He struggled ahead, forging his way through (no pun intended), because it. Matters. To. Him. Being a person who can take responsibility is great and he cares about it. But the real reason is because four matters to him, and they have come so far. The amount of care it takes to just keep going until it's resolved shows a gold heart.

There's one of my favourite parallels between this update and a previous one in his explanation after apology. In his explanations... his face is the same.

And this gets me so much. Look at this guy and his past. He was a perfect silent knight. Losing his cool or expressing emotion or fears was not even an option. And now he can mess up- which is terrifying. But look at how vulnerable his face is, how much he's allowing himself to feel in order to properly express his want to fix things.

And then he offers four his hand. If offering someone your hand and taking it isn't the sincerest form of love... this is so sweet. His face is so open, really wanting to (re)connect with four.

They shake hands and the apologies are over, they move on to shiny metal. "Oh."

And overall this is incredible. People can admit they're wrong and apologize, anyone can say words. But to have facial expressions, posture all the way to hands, and connotations of words all showing honest sincerity is far more than most can ever hope for.

There's my favourite parallel in the progression in this update, the two times they took hands.

The first time is Wild offering his hand after apologizing, and this is where we get the last remnants of a formal soldier apology. Standing straight, arms straight towards each other.

Later on they take hands again, this time as friends connecting beyond making up.

...

Making mistakes and hurting people doesn't make someone unlovable. Working to fix your mistakes makes someone lovely.

[homochadensistm]

hi, it seems like i’m late to the discussion so feel free to bury this ask if you’ve moved on. i just really want to share my 2 cents about this topic, because it has been weighing on me lately.

so my gf (lesbian) belongs to a poetry club. i won’t bore you with the details but everyone in the club is a young adult, and it’s not uncommon for the club members to write cringy poems about vulgar shit to be funny. well a couple weeks ago, the weekly topic was odes & tributes, and my gf wrote an Ode to Pussy.

she said everyone liked it, except 2 people who said it was “gross” and exclusionary, because not all women have vaginas. her poem was apparently alienating to trans women, and contributed to the systemic otherization of trans women and transfemmes. when they said that, other people in the club started agreeing with them. the consensus was that it’s OK to have a preference for vaginas, but that anyone who does should keep that to themselves.

my gf apologized, but now she wishes she hadn’t. as for me, i’m really mad about it. it makes me think of straight people who “accept” gay people, but get mad when gay people hold hands, or kiss in public like straight couples do.

not to mention, the whole “genital preference” thing feels like when straight people call homosexuality a Lifestyle. i hate that. it’s not a preference or a lifestyle!! it is a sexual orientation!! we are born this way!!

my gf was literally just writing about her OWN experiences, and what SHE likes. if someone talking about her own experiences bothers you, then that’s a shame, but it’s your responsibility to cope with that. asking gay people to censor themselves when talking about their own experiences, because someone might be emotionally hurt by it, is extremely entitled.

sorry for the wall of text. i ended up ranting haha. anyway, thanks, i needed to get this off my chest.

Yeah dude thats exactly what Im talking about when I say that ppl no longer view others as human beings but rather as Things that can be Reshaped to be more AcceptableTM (just like str8 ppl censoring gays in the early 2000s). It really irks me and what ur gf experienced is something a lot of my friends also experienced, though not in a poetry club but in local lgbt activity groups. It really is fucking insane and Im not surprised at all by the wave of weird radfems who obsess over pussy that we can see in the last uuuh 5yrs or so. Its crazy to think what a minority of insecure narcissists can do to an entire movement lmao

I recommend writing more funny vaj poems btw troll them to hell and back queen

[the-roo-too]

maybe! -> 0.2 psyche

-what do you mean a cat adopted you? and what is wrong with this weird bunch who took you?

warnings: witches; a coven; sakura struggles with one single spell; reader is eunchae’s grandchild for like a split second 🤠

you were stuck with the little black kitten on your lap for the past hour. after magically appearing in your apartment, the girl- chaewon apparently- made you go to her car. after forcing you to sit in the back with the cat, she started the car and you haven’t heard from her since. she ignored your every attempt on starting a conversation so far.

“so, what’s their name? the cat i mean.” you asked after a couple more minutes of silence. the driver glanced at you before speaking. 

“we call him potato.”

“oh god, really? i don’t know if that’s weird or cute.” you said, laughing at the kitten who snuggled in your hold as if knowing you spoke of him.

“it’s eunchae’s cat. she named him.” added quietly the driver.

“jeez, why so defensive?” no answer came from her.

“…just go to sleep. it’s still a long drive to our dorm.” she muttered at last. tired, as you were woken up quite weirdly, you let sleep overcome you as suggested. the low humming of the car and the warm kitten on your lap made it easy.

when you wake up, you’re magically laying on a couch with the little black cat sleeping soundly on your lap. you pet his head lightly as the animal purrs. although he’s the reason you’re in this mess, he’s really a cutie.

“potato likes you.” you almost shriek at the sudden voice, but manage to calm yourself and only turn your head so fast you almost get a whiplash. another unfamiliar face stands in front of you, she’s noticeably younger than chaewon. she stares at you with this big, curious eyes, you almost feel like a fish in a child’s aquarium.

“y-yeah, um, he’s cute?”

“he is! he’s the cutest! that’s why he gets what he wants.” the girl visibly brightens as she speaks of the kitten. she surprises you when she suddenly picks him up from your lap- interrupting his blissful slumber- and starts hogging him to her chest while making baby sounds.

what surprises you even more is how the cat doesn’t seem affected at all- he meows in protest when he’s snatched, and proceeds to cuddle into the girl. it’s a cute sight, although quite confusing.

“uh, who are you? and where is chaewon-?”

“my bad! i’m eunchae and this spoiled little cutie right there-“ she caresses his head with a weird smile. “-is mine! we lost him after kkura failed that teleportation spell, i wonder how she did that? even i could do it after like the third-“

“hold on, spell? what harry potter fanclub is this?”

“oh, chaewon didn’t tell you? you’ve been snatched by a coven!”

“coven

/ˈkʌvɪn/

noun

a group or meeting of witches.”

after a little (and loud) rant from you about ‘what coven’s and ‘how coven’s and more ‘why coven’s, the girl manages to get you to calm down and sit semi-peacefully on the couch. she gets potato to snuggle on your lap, also somewhat calming your nerves. with a broad smile eunchae fills you in that she did not in fact study at hogwart’s (shame, really), she won’t burn you in a big oven and most importantly, she doesn’t live in a gingerbread house. the last part is probably the most disappointing one.

but eunchae does in fact have a wand- she shows you it and it’s really pretty?- she does wear a pointy hat but only on thursdays (apparently another one of them likes to practice weather spells on thursdays so it often rains in the dorm) and she does know how to fly on a broom. by her word, the old method is really cringe now as people woul see just how many witches are there if they all used brooms to travel- she ranted about that for whole five minutes. instead, they use normal communication to ‘go with the flow’.

eunchae promises to show you how she flies one day, though.

then there comes the topic of the cat. or well, how it apparently adopted you? when asked about the matter, eunchae nods happily and pets the kitten’s head. to your obvious confusion she answers that it’s pretty common for witches to have a spiritual connection with particular animals. and she has this thing with potato. which makes it weird to some extent, as she sees him as her child, and by adopting you, he makes you her grandchild?

after figuring that eunchae is younger than you, you decide to drop the ‘adopted’ part and keep the title as ‘potato’s friend’. it sounds better that way. eunchae agrees and the kitten does too- after being smothered with love by the young witch.

speaking of, when she’s done making the deal with the cat, she turns to look at you with a murderous gaze. you don’t even get to question her before she speaks.

“by the way, he’s lactose intolerant.”

apparently, everyone on this planet knew most cats are lactose intolerant except you. to save some of your honour, isn’t that a witch’s cat? shouldn’t he magically tolerate lactose and stuff? your argument earned you a slap to the neck from eunchae. at least she didn’t look mad anymore.

“eunchae, stop bullying your grandchild.” chaewon suddenly appears at your side. or maybe she was standing there the whole time?

“unnie! ah, we established that she’s potato’s friend/slave-“

“when did we talk about me being a slave?”

“-because she’s older than me and it would be weird, you know!” eunchae lookes unbothered about your comment to the ‘slave’ part, while chaewon smilies lightly at the younger girl, enjoying the chaos.

“yea, it would be weird. but again, many things are weird here, no?” eunchae nods her head at the older girl and trots away. potato soon jumps down from your lap and follows his owner.

“i hope she didn’t tell you we eat kids for lunch or something. that happened once.”

chaewon murmur as she sits herself next to you. with a shake of your head, you turn to ask the girl.

“so, when can i go back?”

“what do you mean?” you look at her as if it’s the most ridiculous question she could ask (it is).

“home? when can i go back to my apartment?” you precise this time and a look of confusion flashes on her face.

“no, i understand. just, you thought you’re going back? now that you know all that coven stuff?” as she asks this, she watches you as if you’d grown a second head.

“what?”

“wasn’t that obvious?”

“no? i can’t just- you kidnap me like it’s nothing just because some cat said he likes me! what about my life?”

“well, stepping into the dorm you got a mana print that you do not know how to hide. so unless you wanna be hunted down by some priest, i’d recommend staying here.”

apparently done with the conversation, chaewon leaves you, stomping her feet as she walks away.

[sirenium]

If you ever feel invalidated by an exclusionist, please remember this post because I can assure you they don't know what they're talking about💀

⚠️trigger warning for of course exclusionist dumbassery, also this gets rant-y⚠️

I swear exclusionists have the most incoherent thought processes known to man dude cuz what is this shit

[ID: purple header text reading he/him lesboy flag/ hesboy flag! Under this text is plain black text reading based on these two flags: •reclaimed lesboy •he/him lesbian. Under this, red, bold text reads DNI, followed by rad inclus, terfs/transmeds, anti he/him lesbians & she/her gays, male/men "lesbians" in black plain text. End ID]

'Lesboy flag' and 'no man lesbians' in the same post... my brain is melting. Also... these people 'reclaimed' the term lesboy? Just to exclude a group of people who are lesboys? You do know that lesbians who also consider themselves men are also included in the lesboy term? Apparently not to these people. Butches who also consider themselves men? Sorry, not lesbians anymore. Multigender man lesbians? Nah sorry you're men so you can't be lesbians./sarc

[ID: blue header text reading Demiboy lesbian flag! Beneath this, quote text (at least I think that's what it's called) reads I couldn't decide on which ones to choose, so I'm posting all of them! Beneath this, much like the previous image, OP starts off their DNI with a bold red DNI, followed by black plain text. This text reads mspec "lesbians", radinclus, terfs/transmeds, radfems, men/male "lesbians", anti he/him lesbians and she/her gays. End ID]

Is that,, not excluding demiboy lesbians? Oh my bad, it's fine cuz they're only 'partially male' and therefore aren't ACTUALLY icky men invading lesbian spaces!/sarc

Also can I just say how fucking entitled it is to be all like 'mspec "lesbians"' with the quotes and shit? Like oh my god get over yourself, you aren't the leader of the lesbians™️ [trademark]. Bro thinks they're part of the lesbian council or some shit. 💀

Besides that, this has got to be one of the funniest examples of exclusionist stupidity I've ever seen. I can't get over it bro: 'demiboy lesbian flag!' 'Fuck off icky man lesbians!' In the SAME. POST. BAHAHA–

-----

It's rare that I feel the need to take screenshots and talk about them on my blog, but these are so poetically idiotic that I had to make a whole post dedicated to them. So yeah, sorry about your braincells lmao. But just know you're valid regardless of how you identify as a lesbian, and these are the types of people who think otherwise. Needless to say, they aren't really that credible.

[ID: a DNI banner with a purple background with lighter purple text reading DNI: system/queer exlusionists, TERFs/SWERFs, truscum/transmeds, anti recovery for harmful paraphilia, anti otherkin, anti self dx, pro cringe culture, pro-lifers, anti xenogender. A more detailed DNI is in my pinned post. A transparent png of Shadow The Hedgehog can be seen on the right, beside the text. He's holding his hand to his chest, his body facing the text and his eyes looking off to the distance. End ID]

[lightning-writes]

good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 19/30

fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy

chapter summary: rue calls bucky (alt: nothing platonic happens after 12 am)

word count: 2150

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

a/n: we love a flirty bucky x rue moment! also some ruby lore!

AO3 MASTERLIST X

The clatter of his phone vibrating on the wooden floor makes him groan. Who the hell is calling him after midnight? He rolls over and sees the bleary image of Rue’s face.

Panic rises in his chest as he stands. He answers the phone with an alarmed, “Hello?”

“It’s a video call, friend, get me away from your ear.”

Bucky holds the phone out to see Rue in a bathroom. She has the phone propped behind the sink, rubbing something onto her face, and she looks down at the phone.

(He first notices her exposed stomach from the cropped tank top, then her pierced nipples again. He can’t presume her intention, but he doesn’t know which Rue’s getting tonight. And it makes his ears hot.)

“Jesus Christ, James,” she startles him out of his thoughts. The phone is in her hands now, her face close to the screen. “Look at those pectorals.”

Bucky looks down at his shirtlessness. Automatically, his hand flies up to cover himself.

In a muffle tone that he can only believe is to herself, she mutters, “I mean, I knew you were jacked, but goddamn.”

(Bucky has no idea how he should feel about this statement, but it certainly does make him feel something.)

She sets the phone back down and begins to braid her hair. To him, she says, “Vick has Frank over, so I thought I’d call you. I’m just getting ready for bed.” She peeks down at the phone. “Were you sleeping?”

“Kinda.” He wasn’t, but his answer is more acceptable than saying he was trying to find a comfortable spot on the floor of his nearly empty living room. “But, it’s fine.”

“Great.” She applies something else to her face, taking her time rubbing it into the skin. “I just had half a bottle of wine, so be prepared for that.”

(He makes a non-committal noise, wondering what drove her to drink.)

“Anyway, what’s up, how was your day?”

“Uh, fine?” He walks into his dark bedroom and finds a shirt. He doesn’t even have a lamp; he has to turn on the bright overhead light and frowns. He sits on his bed with only one pillow left. “How was yours?” he asks, unsure.

He watches her walk from the bathroom to her bedroom. She sits on the bed with a huff, and he notices the shelves above her headboard. Dried orange slices and small twinkling light hang from the bottom shelf, and he sees a plant vine that nearly brushes her head. Under the shelves, there are photographs taped to her wall, some people, some landscapes. He sees the shine of a still wrapped condom when he averts his eyes.

 “Glad you asked.” She calls attention back down to her. “So, you know how I work at Waterway? Well, so did Maeve, until we broke up, so everyone working there knows our story and mostly everyone knows about the whole Dean situation. So, apparently, Maeve just posted her engagement to Instagram, and literally, Bucky, I kid you not, everyone on staff asked me about it. If I was sad about it, if I’d seen it. As if I didn’t block her on all my socials already! You’d think they’d have more decorum, but obviously not!”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky offers. He got lost in the rant for a moment, but he finds his way out by the end.

She plows through his sympathy. “So, I went– wait, are you… against hooking up or anything?”

“What?” He’s confused by the sharp turn of conversation.

“I mean, being from the 1940’s and all that,” she says impatiently, “I don’t want to offend you with my sexcapades.” 

“You won’t,” he nearly laughs. “Trust me.”

(She pauses for too long a moment, and he wishes he knew what she was thinking.) 

“Okay, so I went to this lesbian bar I’d gone to with Maeve once, and tried to hook up with someone, but I had no luck - I bet the loser vibes were just emanating off me - so I asked Vick if we could have a girls’ night. And she’d said yes, but then canceled at the last minute!” She brings the phone close to her face again, to whisper, “Frank asked her to dinner, and she thinks he’s going to propose soon, so I guess she’s jumping at every opportunity? I don’t know, I don’t believe in marriage.”

“Didn’t you prop–”

“Anyway,” she says dramatically, giving him a hard look through the screen. He suppresses a grin. “So, while they were out - which I’d like to point out, it was ten o’clock when this happened - Dean came over, like he fucking knew I was alone and rejected, and he dropped off my stuff I’d left at his apartment. And I told him I’m not returning shit because it’s not like I’m keeping fucking tabs on all the belongings in my house!”

Bucky notes how much she swears but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he asks, “Is that a normal thing to do?”

“Have you ever watched a ‘90’s sitcom?” Rue scoffs. She’s now laying in her bed. She brushes the end of her braid over her face idly.

“Actually–”

She doesn’t let him finish. “So, after he left, I had my wine, I did my skincare, and I called you – lucky you!”

“Lucky me.” He tucks his arm behind his head. She watches him with another expression he can’t place. “Aren’t you tired, after all that?”

She sighs, her mouth twisted in a rueful smile. “Honestly, my brain won’t shut up.”

“I can’t sleep, either,” he confesses after a beat.

(He’s tempted to tell her he can come over or they could go somewhere, but he doesn’t want to fluster her, like she’s been.)

“Give me a house tour,” she declares unprompted. She’s laying on her side, giving him a playfully stern face. “You’ve been to my place, but I’ve never seen yours.”

“You didn’t give me a tour.”

“You didn’t ask for one.”

He rolls his eyes, schooling his amused look. “There isn’t much to see,” he admits.

“I demand entertainment, Barnes,” she pounds a fist into her bed.

(His brain stalls when she calls him by his last name.)

Bucky gets up and turns the front facing camera to his bedroom. He has a dresser, a laundry hamper, and a nightstand. He doesn’t give commentary as he enters the living room, showing his TV, still on, his record player, its speakers, and his small couch. He discreetly kicks away his sleeping setup on the floor as he moves to the kitchen. Rue watches, quietly, drinking from a cup with a familiar bird logo.

“That’s it,” he suppresses a yawn as he sits on the couch. “I told you, not much to see.”

“Oh, but it definitely entertained me,” she says. She looks sleepy, too; her blinks are slower. “Were you watching something?”

“Whatever’s on at,” he checks the time, “at two in the morning.”

“Hmmm,” she hums. He passes a hand through his still shower-damp hair. She then sits up. “Wait, did you get a haircut?”

He’s startled, fingers still combing through his hair. “...uh, yes?”

“You know, if I knew calling you was just going to be a thirst trap, I would have prepared better.” She pauses. “A thirst trap is–”

“Yeah, I actually know what that one means,” he interrupts.

(He briefly wonders what she meant by prepared. He also wonders how long they’ll continue this dance. WIll it end in a grand finale or will the song scratch to a stop?)

She gives him a curious look. “So, you know what you’re doing.”

He shrugs, “I’m just existing.”

“Well, exist less hot when I’m too drunk.” She flops back, dramatically throwing a hand over her forehead. “You know, this is what got us into the Thanksgiving mess in the first place.”

“Is that right?”

“It looks nice, your hair,” she ignores his comment, “I mean, it looked nice before, but…”

She yawns. He yawns.

There’s a long stretch of silence between them, and Bucky wonders if he should be the responsible one to call it a night.

“Can I tell you a secret, Buck?”

“Are you sure you want to do that? In light of the Thanksgiving incident?” She gives him a flat look, and he gives her a soft smile. “Yeah, Rue, I want to hear your secret.”

“I’m… miserable.”

(Her whisper breaks him.)

“I’m miserable, and I deserve it.” She wipes a tear curling down her cheek with the end of her braid. “I’m miserable, and I deserve it, and there’s nothing you can say to make me think otherwise.”

“Okay,” he responds too casually. She gives him a sharp look. “You know, if you were calling to have a pity party, I would have prepared better.” She tries to mask her amusement blooming behind her mad features. “I would have put up a banner… or maybe, some balloons–”

She huffs. “Okay, I get it.”

“I think…” Bucky pauses, eyes avoiding the screen to fully form his thoughts. “You don’t deserve to feel miserable.” He looks at her then, and shrugs a shoulder. “If you did, you wouldn’t.”

“Go on.”

He chuckles. “If you did deserve it, if you really were a bad person, I don’t think you would feel so miserable. Your misery is… it’s your guilt. I mean… you know what you did wasn’t great, and you actually feel bad about it.”

“All right, big boy, we get it. You go to therapy.”

“You studied therapy,” he counters.

(He pointedly ignores her ‘big boy’ comment.)

“Yeah, okay, but it wasn’t like it was my first choice,” she retorts. “Listen, I didn’t want to tell you this before because I know you have paranoid tendencies, but it seems like I’m a sinking ship and, apparently, a glutton for punishment, so I’m gonna tell you–”

“That’s a big preamble for you telling me you almost worked for Shield.”

Rue props herself up with her elbow, again, staring at him so intensely, it almost looks like the video is frozen.

“How could you have possibly known that? That’s super confidential.”

(Bucky had left the gym immediately after receiving the call from The Toad. He met with him at Red Hook Pier, in the rainy night, because better safe than sorry.

“Soldier,” the Toad greeted him in Russian. 

Bucky hands him the envelope thick with cash. “That’s not me anymore.”

He hands Bucky the envelope of information with a knowing look. “You will always be a soldier, even if you aren’t the Winter Soldier.”

“Anything I need to know?”

“How do the Americans say it,” he says in English, accent thick and stumbling, “‘The call is coming from inside the house’?”)

He just says, “I’m a former spy.” 

“You don’t even know my last name,” she protests.

“Is that right, Ruby David?” he challenges.

He watches realization spread across her features. “Okay, fine, I should have guessed you’d do this. Re: paranoid.”

“Prepared.”

“Distrusting.”

“Vigilant.”

“So, what else did you find?” she asks abruptly.

He’s quick to answer, “What are you worried I’d find?”

“Not worried.” She fiddles with her braid. “Just… curious. I’ve been pretty much an open book, other than the Shield stuff.”

To be fair, she’s telling the truth there. Aside from standard information about her and her family, Bucky mostly found information about her rebellion throughout high school, skipping class, failing class, getting caught smoking all over campus. He saw she’d been arrested at the age of twenty for protesting and a string of bar fights. She also had a long list of lovers, ranging from her age to much older, in quick succession. She’d been paid for her relationships, something the Toad called a “sugar baby”.

Her history with Shield had been brief and mostly one-sided. She’d done a lot of research into finding out whether they actually existed and how she could join them. When she’d been accepted, she had started training… and had backed out a week before initiation. It aligns with what she’d said about taking in her brother.

By the time Mikey had moved out, Hydra would have been outed, and Shield had dissolved.

(Bucky had been there for that one.)

“Yeah, you’ve been pretty honest,” he finally says.

She hums, eyes blinking slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Bucky is picking up the bedding from the ground and transferring it to his bed as her eyes are downcast. He settles into bed and sighs. “I get why you didn’t. I wouldn’t have told me either.”

Her lips quirk a soft smile. And she yawns again. And he follows. A hush falls between them, just the sound of them breathing. Bucky feels his eyelids grow heavier. The glow of the TV outside casts a dim glow into the bedroom,

“I should get going,” she finally sighs. “I have work at seven tomorrow morning.”

“In three hours,” he corrects.

“Fuck.” She turns on her side. She repeats, “I should sleep.”

Bucky mirrors her. “So, go to sleep.”

“You first.”

Bucky closes his eyes and pretends to snore. He hears her surprised giggle, and he catches her biting her lip as she gazes at him.

“Stay on the line.”

“Okay.” He switches his phone to his other hand. “Good night, Ruby.”

“Sweet dreams, James.”

[nonclassyparty]

[TEASER] Starring Role - ACT VIII (C.S; S.MG)

act vii / masterlist / act viii

From: ahn.sooyoung.outlook.com

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

Since you have decided to stop coming by my house because you are childish, I have to go through these pestering lengths to reach you.

I thought you should now that your Beaux-Arts de Paris letter came in the mail and for obvious reasons - I have opened it.

They gave you a spot in their summer program starting from May 28th and offered you a full-ride scholarship for the year ahead.

Congratulations.

As I said before, the decision to go or not go is all yours.

You gently rub your chin in anguish as you stare at the screen of your phone in the dimly lit car as the lights of passing buildings and lamps flickered in and out.

The e-mail came in this morning, you remember blurrily reading it while you were still laying in bed and dreading today's events. It was so hectic that you barely had time to think about it.

The press will be there which meant your mother had to hire make-up artists and hairstylists for her perfect little daughter so she can show the whole world just how fucking perfect she is.

Staring at through the window with your phone now tucked in your small purse and watching the scenery change the nearer you are to the city, you briefly wonder what would it be like to go away.

Your eyes fleet to your parents who sit in silence in the seats in front of you. Your mother is dressed to the nines, dolled up like she's the one that will be on the podium when they announce the placements. Your father looks like he's wasting his time.

It would be easy to leave them.

Then you turn to your brother, Seonghwa, sitting next to you and looking out the window with a stoic expression on his face. He's in a black, expensive suit with hair swept to the side.

You gingerly reach up to the earring hanging on your left ear as you looking away from his figure and out of the window again, the surprise you felt today still bubbling in your chest.

Two gentle knocks come from your bedroom door as you sit in front of the big mirror set up in your bedroom and analyze yourself.

"Come in." You absentmindedly respond, staring at your dress with a frown. It was a simple indigo colored dress with a straight neckline and long sleeves, it cinched at your waist and elegantly flowed down to the half of your calves.

It was boring, not usually something you would wear but your mother, as always, was the one who made the decisions and apparently, you had to look polite and pristine for this contest. Not that anyone cared, they'd be looking at your art and not your outfit but...ah, whatever.

The door opening snaps you out of your grumpy rant about your outfit choice and you see Seonghwa in your mirror, your head turns to him in surprise. He's already dressed up in his black suit, hair carefully combed and styled and one hand in his pocket while he holds something in the other.

You eye him in confusion, not knowing what could he possibly want. To do another drug test maybe?

Seonghwa clicks his tongue, looking incredibly awkward in your bedroom before clearing his throat.

"The photographer is downstairs." He announces quietly, holding his head up high. Your brows furrow in confusion.

"What photographer?"

His mouth twitches in almost amusement. "The one mom invited."

Your eyes fall shut in annoyance as you take a deep breath. Of course she invited a personal photographer, she always had to blow everything out of proportion and make a show out of it.

Seonghwa shuffles on his feet and you're flabbergasted that he hasn't left yet.

"I'll be there in a minute." You nod at him, hoping he'd just leave as you reach for the dainty golden necklace from your vanity and bring it around your neck.

Seonghwa surprises you even more when he steps closer, gently brushing your carefully curled hair over your shoulder and taking the necklace from your hand before clasping it without a word.

You stiffen at the gesture, something stuck in your throat and stopping you from uttering a single response.

He takes a step back and you turn to him suspiciously, wondering why he was suddenly behaving like this. Were your parents planning on announcing your engagement to Wooyoung or some other rich prick today so Seonghwa was acting bearable for once because he felt bad?

Seonghwa, on the other hand, seems to be carrying some misplaced sadness in his eyes which makes you even more confused. Why was he acting like this? Did someone die?

He clears his throat again, taking another step back before placing a small velvet box on your vanity.

"It's...they're for good luck." Is all he says, staring at the floor before seemingly shaking himself out of whatever stupor he was in and suddenly the Seonghwa you are used to by now is back, "Be downstairs quickly."

You open your mouth in confusion as you watch him leave and close the door shut behind him without waiting for your response.

You reach for the small box he left and hesitantly open it, your breath getting caught in your throat as you stare at the content of it.

Two small golden earrings lay in the box. They're daisies encrusted with five small diamonds each and hanging on short, thin golden chains clasped to matching lever back earwires.

They're beautiful.

Blinking away the tears that cloud your vision, you carefully take one out before putting it on your ear and repeating the same action with the other one.

They don't match with the necklace at all but you don't care. You will wear them tonight.

Because Seonghwa, your brother, picked them out for you.

When you reach downstairs, the rest of your family is already in the foyer and your mother is the first one to notice the earrings.

"Y/N," She starts with a frown and you pretend to fix your hair in the hallway mirror just so you can ignore whatever she's about to say, "Those earrings don't match the rest of your outfit at all."

"I like them." You answer back quietly and she might recognize the faint bite in your tone that knows will cause an argument in front of the photographer, so she surprisingly gives up far quicker than you expect.

Seonghwa glances at you from the corner of his eye and when his gaze meets yours - he is quick to look away.

You have over a hundred pairs of earrings, most of them are far more extravagant and expensive than the ones you're wearing now but none of them will hold the same value these do, no matter how many carats they have. They're all meaningless because they weren't picked by Seonghwa.

The car pulling up to the gallery pulls you away from your chaotic thoughts and you heave a deep sigh as your father gets out of the car first.

There are people lining up in the front already but you easily slide past them as the contestants and their families have to be inside by the time the exhibition starts. You see two other contestants, your classmates, waving and hugging their friends who came to support them and a frown pulls on your face when you realize that you don't have anyone to hug in the crowd. Not a single familiar face catching your attention.

Not even Hongjoong, who you are friends with but obviously not close enough of a friend for him to come to show his support.

It doesn't make you angry or bitter, just really fucking sad. Because you probably missed some of his important events either, it doesn't mean you guys aren't friends but just that you aren't close enough to him to get invited to them.

Inside, your mother makes a big show out of her supporting mother act by giving you unnecessary hugs and affection that makes you cringe before you are whisked away into another hall.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Hi!!!! I just want to say I am so freaking excited for this account. If it's possible and you have the time AND energy, could you send some Slytherin! Drarry fics my way? Preferably not too long, but please don't feel limited

Hello! Your holds have arrived!

I'm glad you're excited for The Library, and hope that you've been enjoying it! I've had several asks for Slytherin Harry and Gryffindor Draco, so I've combined them into this House Swap list.

Enjoy!

House Swap

Slytherin Harry

Dueling Club Revelations by @therunawaypen-blog (589 words, rated G)

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Draco demanded, looking at Harry for answer.

The bespectacled boy looked shocked and confused, “Tell you what?”

Draco rolled his eyes, “Why didn’t you tell me you were a Parselmouth?”

We Can't Be Friends by @satans-trainee (677 words, rated G)

Harry ignores Draco, his best friend and Draco wants to find out why.

Slytherin Pride by sepherim_ml (704 words, rated T)

Slytherin's reputation has never been so low. Harry is not impressed. At all.

Tea, perhaps? by GayWithFlowers and Saladita12 (770 words, rated G)

Lily Potter liked to think of herself as a sensible, open-minded woman, So, when her darling Harry had come home for the winter holidays during his first year at Hogwarts, Lily had accepted him in all his Slytherin glory. However, when he had proudly announced that Draco Malfoy was his best friend and had excitedly told her about an invitation to the Manor for a playdate, she, admittedly, had to stop herself from cringing.

you're nervous (nervous that I'm right) by quiescents (1,200 words, rated T)

Meeting Sirius Black is, apparently, one of the few things Draco will admit to being scared of.

Subtle by @serikkun (1,371 words, rated T)

Daphne gives the worst advice and Harry tries to be subtle over his crush on his best friend.

A Pointy, Posh Grindylow by @stargazing-enby (1,567 words, rated M)

“Why don’t we duel, Malfoy? Just you and me, tonight, in the Room of Requirement.”

A Mother's Love by @lostinfantasies38 (1,990 words, rated T)

Narcissa sees the path her son's friendship with the Boy Who Lived is headed and she will do anything to secure his happiness — even tell her husband to shut up and face facts. She's not weak-willed when it comes to guarding her young dragon and the boy who makes him happy.

How to Produce a Patronus by IvyCpher (2,289 words, rated G)

Draco gave a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. This was the fourth week the D.A. had been going over patronuses and everyone even Longbottom had perfected it. His hands felt hot and sweaty and his chest felt tight with anger. Why couldn't he do it?

you're my home by quiescents (2,888 words, rated T)

Sometimes when you meet someone, you just know that they're going to change your life forever. A chance encounter in a robe shop was one of these times. 

They were Once Young by @acupforslytherin (6,391 words, rated T)

During the summer holiday, Harry and Draco were finally meeting each other’s parents. After Harry’s failed attempt to woo the Malfoys, Draco braced himself for another disaster at Godric’s Hollow. Little did he know, he was in for a delightful French dinner, two generations of embarrassing Potters, and a story of how young James and Lily got together.

Slytherin Harry and The Sorcerer's Stone by @inkdrinkershadowsinger (35,214 words, rated G)

A rewrite of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, featuring a Slytherin Harry Potter, a sassy Millicent Bulstrode, a brave Neville Longbottom, classic Hermione Granger, Blaise "Yes, my left elbow is cuter than your whole face" Zabini, Draco Malfoy, and all the original characters.

Gryffindor Draco

Chasing Peacocks by @gnarf (477 words, rated G)

When Harry ranted one too many times about fancying Draco, Sirius took the matter into his own paws.

Goddamn Right You Should Be Scared of Me by Lily_Hawkins (1,448 words, rated T)

Draco Malfoy was placed in Gryffindor, first year. During the Summer before sixth year, something terrible happens. Something terrifying.

Lead the Way by @shelvesuponshelves (5,063 words, rated T)

Harry smirked behind Draco and continued walking around him. “I heard some interesting information and I think it would be in your best interest to—“ Harry was paused by Draco’s other side now and he leaned in to whisper in Draco’s ear, quiet enough so Hermione and Pansy couldn’t hear. “Meet me in the astronomy tower tonight.”

Abundant Generosity by @serikkun (5,442 words, rated G)

It's the end of their first year at Hogwarts and everyone's ready to go home - everyone except Draco and he has to quickly make arrangements for summer and the next term.

burned off the tapestry by @fencesandfrogs (8,025 words, rated T)

Draco, age 11, does not understand the concept of destiny. Draco, age 17, chooses to reject it.

The Joys of Being a Gryffindor by AwfulGoodness (13,934 words, not rated)

This couldn't happen.

"This is for the best." The hat said, voice unusually grave, "I think it must be-"

No, no, no, no. "Please!"

 "- Gryffindor!"

Year One by @ohohpierre (18,437 words, rated T)

What if Draco was sorted into Gryffindor? A retelling of Harry Potter with one major detail changed.

Earthbound Spook by cest_what (57,550 words, rated T)

Two months after Draco Malfoy was reported dead, Harry and Ron found him tangled in Strangler Ivy on the grounds of Hogwarts.

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Lots of Love and Happy Reading!

[ramcharantitties]

Hi!

Can you make a oneshot where Y/N comes home crying.When her husband that is Ram asks her what is wrong she doesn't say anything but when he forces her she reveals that a man has misbehaved (touched her inappropriately) with her like she was able to handle him until the man became more persistent and tried to force himself on her before she pushed him away and ran back home.Now a furious Ram goes of to "deal" with the man.Later, he consoles his wife and maybe some fluff?

Thank you 😊

im sorry if this is bad, coz I'd just stab if smn touched me but that's just me ig (if my husband was in police I'd take full fayda lol)

--

You could feel his touch on your waist. Despite being home, sitting in the corner of your hall all alone, you still could feel his disgusting touch. Your mind travelled back to what happened three hours ago now- you wore your favorite saree, your bangles jingling like your smile. You were going to make your husband's favorite dish and needed some ingredients so you went to the farmer's market. Simple.

Except there were some men near the tea stall. You saw them and went pass them paying them no attention. Apparently that caught their attention. You didn't even get to make it to the first stall when a man almost double your height stood in front of you. You looked up confused and tried going past them, only for him to block your way. You grew furious, trying again. Only to be met with his annoying presence. You stepped back and looked at the man and he moved out of your way. That was easy, you thought. The hurry in your step was visible but something tugged you back, sending you flying in reverse motion. Your pallu was in his hand and your disbalance got him to catch you- his hands holding your bare waist, kneading like flour dough.

You shook your head at the thought, tugging closer to your knees and crying more into your saree. You felt weak, you felt as if you weren't enough for your husband. What will people say? "the wife of most gruesome police officer couldn't even defend herself?" You clawed at your skin, the sting only soothing your mind. You deserved it, you felt like you deserved all the pain right now. Before you could snap in the reality, a hand touched your feet.

Your head shot up and there were those brown golden eyes you've seen countless times. You wanted to hug him, cry in his shoulder, but instead you moved back from his touch, closing yourself in. Ram looked at his wife from the doorstep first- her hair falling around her shoulders, her saree falling everywhere. On closer inspection, he saw the red marks climbing her arms and her sobs audible far enough. He decided to take things slow- but he didn't expect his wife to run from her.

"What happened?" his voice was low, just barely above the silence. "chhua" only one word got out of your mouth with all the power you could muster and you saw a whole demeanor change in his eyes. The soft, warm fire was now raging volcano. You clung to his shirt, falling forward as he grasped your body by his chest, your sobs wracking through your bones. "I-i tried to, to get away. But h-he held m-my waist and i even tried to hit him but then some of h-his men joi-" "Where" your rant was stopped by Ram's sudden question. "Market" you whispered, looking up at him. He left before you could even think what was happening.

-

When he came back home, you cleaned yourself up and were now sitting on your jhula in the hall, waiting for Ram. It's been an hour now. You heard a huge ordeal outside when you ran to your front door, only to see some people dropping your husband by. His knuckles were bleeding and there was a cut on his arm. His hair was all messed and his lip was bruised. There was no major injury. Ram must have caught you observing his wounds when he opened his arms for you, and you ran in them with no hesitation.

-

"Don't worry, you should have seen them. I didn't even gave them a chance to hit me back" you smiled and fed Ram another bite of roti. After mending his wounds and he bathed, of course. Ram could still catch the faint sadness behind your eyes. Ram cupped your jaw, and you looked at him. "I'm sorry" you muttered and a tear slipped by. He shook his head, wiping your tear. "it wasn't your fault" he said, pulling you in side hug. "Besides they got what they deserve. I would have killed them if it wasn't for the crowd there. That's what they get for touching my wife." he said and kissed your cheek, making you look down, blushing. Ram leaned back, mischief prominent in his eyes. "But it wasn't their fault either, you know" he said and you looked at him, wide eyed. "What could they do, the gaze of mortal men slipping when they see a goddess walking in mar-" before he could complete, you placed his plate with a bang on table and left the room fuming, only for him to follow you apologizing.

--

Repay with sending ram charan pics in asks /srs

[csleko]

Boba Fett Cosplay (COMPLETE)

The "unrelated and more time sensitive project" I mentioned at the end of my Kinect tale? It was finishing this cosplay so I could wear it for the first time to Duke City Comic Con. I was actually almost considering not going because I found out about it on kind of short notice, and I didn't know if I really wanted to go by myself, but I mentioned it to my mom and she asked if she could go with me just for the heck of it.

So now that the project had a deadline, I could actually finish the damn thing!

If you've been following my #cosplay tags, you might notice that this armor is, in fact, not the worbla-covered foam version I previously posted. This is version *3* of the armor, and it is 3D-printed like every other solid piece of the costume. I just yanked the lights off the version 2 armor and stuck 'em on this one. The shoulder armor and belt buckle I modeled and printed myself, and my mom proved indispensable yet again by volunteering her vastly superior sewing skills to turn this jacket from Goodwill into the armor vest.

She also pulled out all the of insulation, and sewed some elastic loops inside it to hold little ice packs to help keep me from dying of heatstroke. Because it turns out the most unbelievable thing in the entire new Star Wars canon is that Boba didn't drop dead running around in heavy black clothes on a desert planet with two suns.

So yeah! Have a few more pics from the con, and then I'll go on a long rant about all the problems I discovered after wearing this getup for 4 or five hours.

The con had a rule about realistic weapons that was just vague enough that I didn't feel 100% comfortable bringing my EE-3. A little disappointing because it stands as one of the best props I've ever printed and painted. (See my post about that here!) But the guys running this prop booth had one of their own and called me over to pose with theirs. Interestingly, it felt just about as heavy as mine, so I could make a pretty good guess what their props are made of.

Gamora wanted a picture with me because, and I quote, "We're both green!" Mighty Thor went on to win the costume contest. (I didn't even place.)

"Hmm. Reminds me of that droid that was always following Solo around."

"Should've asked Mr. Hammond if he could clone a Mythosaur for me."

OKAY. NOW TO GO OVER ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THIS COSTUME.

The gauntlets. Are too. DAMN. SMALL. When I first printed them on my resin printer, I had to either cut them into pieces or scale them down to get them to fit. I determined that scaling them down would be the better option because I have skinny noodle arms and the smaller gauntlets would still fit. When I reprinted them, I still scaled them down because 1, I thought they would fit better anyway, and 2, being smaller meant they would print faster. Turns out the scaled down versions are VERY tight and the hard edges kept me from moving my wrists, and dug into my hands the whole time I was wearing them. I had little bruises from that for the next couple days. When/if I remake these, I will print them at full size and maybe add foam or something to keep them from slipping around.

Get better at sewing. I sewed velcro patches into the shoulders of the vest to attach the shoulder armor pieces to and keep them from sliding down my arms, but one of them still came detached somehow so I kept having to adjust that shoulder. Also, I thought that I could get away with not sewing on the velcro for the chest diamond because it was small and the sticky pad could just hold it on. NOT SO. It kept falling off no matter how hard I pressed the sticky side onto the vest. Should've just taken the five minutes to do a quick and crappy stitch on it. All the other velcro pieces held just fine.

I also should've just found a real belt to use. This fake leather material apparently stretches easily, so it started to sag throughout the day. It's also why I couldn't hang the holster on it (which you can't even see in any of these pictures, but I hung it on the real belt I wore with my pants.)

As a famous Stormtrooper once said: "I can't see a thing in this helmet!" My visor fogs up after having it on for just a few minutes, and it gets unbearably hot inside that thing. That space inside the helmet to install an "optional" fan system? NOT REALLY OPTIONAL, unless you enjoy slowly boiling to death in your own sweat. Also the antenna keeps falling down, so I could probably stick a small piece of foam in there to hold it in place better.

And that's that. This 2 year project is concluded! I'll probably keep working on little bits here and there to iron out the kinks, but this is most likely the last big Tumblr-worthy update. I don't know for sure what my next big project will be, but I have some ideas.

If anyone wants links to the 3D printed parts I used to make this costume, here's the list!

Helmet: AprilStorm -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4587505

Hand Guards: DeAdMaNWaLkIn -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4901836

Knee Armor: DJJamesDub -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4822653

Gauntlets: Camburu -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4903763

Belt Bullets: BH1138 -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:3198489

Belt Buckle: Me! -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:5539506

Shoulder Armor: Also me! -

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:6071489

[remcycl333]

Hello rem. I hope you answer my ask because I think nobody else is gonna. My sc has been really well for the past few days and today it kind of broke down. I tried being not that person who always keeps asking what am I doing wrong or what more can I do. But today I'm seeking help too. Today I realised it's been almost 3 months since I went for my classes because I've been trying the void and failing and now I have lost count of days and months. I didn't have anyone as friends there in my college but I did have people I used to hangout with. I was thinking hey I'm revamping everything so it doesn't matter and then I kind of completely ghosted them out and I was actually afraid I would run into one of them someday because we all live in the same city (yes I'm aware my thoughts created that). I literally have been living a double life. And even though I have successfully managed to escape seeing them 5-6 times sneakily, today one of them saw me and came upto me to talk. I was really nervous throughout the whole interaction because that meant I would've had to explain stuff in case they ask. She didn't ask anything except for what I'm doing now. That shook me to my core. Because apparently they all think I left college and is somewhere else now. No-one including my parents and people I live in that is except for my classmates know I've been bunking classes for like 3 months. Idk what to do. I was planning on entering the void again tonight but somehow that interaction stirred something up in me, almost feeling stupid because that college I'm in now where I'm bunking classes, I manifested that. So that's a shame. I don't have anyone to talk this with and its all on me. If I accept this shitty reality then I'll be a manipulator and considered an ungrateful bitch and a shitty person. I know I'm not. I cannot give up because I don't want to give in to this reality because it's gonna suck really hard. Been trying to hold on but oh my god I feel like it's a dead end. What should I do? It's time for us to pay the fee for this semester and if I don't tell my parents about it everything is gonna turn into a big mess. I'm running out of time. I should enter the void asap. Otherwise I don't know how long I'll be able to live this double life for. I don't want to manifest the usual way because I honestly don't know when the 3d is gonna show that up. I know I shouldn't be concerned about time but I cannot not be because thats the environment here. It's like trying to revise someone's death while being at their funeral. Then again I'm thinking is it possible for me to be that delusional? I don't even care I ranted because I just needed to get it off my chest and its been weighing me down heavily. What should I do? Is there anything you can tell me which can get me out of this mental image? I really really really want to enter the void and infact I'm going to tonight. But to think I've been living like this for 3 months is terrible. Please tell me honestly what I should do?

If you read till here, that itself is a big thing. Thank you for hearing me out. Now can you please help me out by telling me what to do?

hi love!! you can deal with your current reality and still continue to manifest your dream life! tell your parents about the fees before you create even more stress for yourself. then work on your self concept!!! affirm your life is perfect and your 3D conforms instantly. if you really really want to enter the void, put in the work!! you can try the 10k affirmations challenge and affirm for your void concept. saturate your mind with the idea that you can get into the void with ease and that your getting in tonight for a fact. i’m hoping that through sending this ask you were able to get a lot off your chest!! but continuing forward you have to stop complaining and acknowledging all of the stuff you don’t want, bc by doing so you’re manifesting more of it in your reality. you can manifest some things in your 3D being better—such as your relationships with your friends—and still work on getting into the void. you don’t have to choose one or the other!! hopefully through affirming and saturating your mind you can bring back some of your hope. and stop taking no as an answer!!! u can get in the void TONIGHT if u put ur foot down. if you really want it i recommend you put in the effort to work on your void concept!!!

[ninjakk]

Hi! I really like your Metas about MDZS. I want to hear your opinion about this one in particular. When LXC was revealing all that happened at Nightless City, after the "Get lost!" scene, it mentioned that WWX's eyes reddened. I'm quite at a loss on how to interpret this. Was he mad or overwhelmed with emotion that he was about cry? Actually curious of your thoughts on WWX's feelings fluctuating since JGY started mentioning LWJ's pining.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for the ask! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying my meta 🥰

I'll answer your questions in chronological order as it appears in chapter 99, or it might get a little confusing for everyone ☺️

During the scene you are referring to, WWX was as you said, overwhelmed with quite complex emotions. As we know, WWXs emotions were already extremely raw before he even went near Guanyin Temple that night. WWX had just had a huge misunderstanding with LWJ not that long ago. He was absolutely heartbroken, assuming LWJ did not return his feelings and thought he had taken advantage of him while apparently still drunk.

After WWX was caught at the temple alone without LWJ, LXC and JGY were perplexed as to why LWJ is not with him. Ironically, it was JGYs words that sparked a tiny bit of hope within WWXs heart. Obviously I don't think this was JGYs intention, it was more of a way to manipulate WWX by distracting him enough to lower his guard and simultaneously cause him distress. As we know, JGY is a master at using words as a weapon. But I can't help think JGY was also just being a bit nosey and wanted WWX to spill the tea as well 🤣

Jin GuangYao, “Of course not. I just had to comment. HanGuang- Jun spent so many years in yearning, and even today he hasn’t gotten his happy ending yet. Not only does Sect Leader Lan have a good reason to feel impatient, even an outsider can’t bear watching it.” Wei WuXian whirled around, “What yearning? What happy ending?” Hearing this, both Jin GuangYao and Lan XiChen seemed surprised. They examined his expression carefully, as though trying to see if he was purposely pretending to be oblivious. Wei WuXian’s heart suddenly began to pound, like something that had been dead for more than half the night suddenly bursted alive in his chest again. He forced himself to be calm, “What do you mean?

Although WWX was being held hostage, hearing JGYs words instantly made his heart pound - probably from a mixture of excitement, anxiety and worry. WWX was anxious and excited to find out if LWJ felt the same way about him. He wants nothing more than to hear this finally confirmed! But he is probably also feeling a little worried at how LWJ must be feeling right now, if his feelings are indeed returned. After all, WWX brushed off their romp as nothing more than 'guys helping each other out' because he thought LWJ had just sobered up (he sobered up long before) and regretted the situation. He's so desperate to know the truth, his mind is probably frantic at that moment, full of strong emotions.

Hearing that LWJ might actually return his feelings, he pressed LXC to the point he got uncharacteristically angry. WWX was in quite a lot of emotional distress while LXC had his infamous rant. Which I have to say although rather harsh, was only because LXC cares for his younger brother very deeply.

When we arrived, you sat blankly on a rock within the cave. Holding your hand, WangJi was giving you spiritual energy. He kept on whispering to you. But throughout the whole time, you repeated the same two words at him. “Get lost!” Wei WuXian’s throat was dry. His eyes were red as well. He couldn’t say a single thing.

WWX eyes reddened because he was so upset, in so much emotional pain, he was indeed holding back tears. He's just realised how deeply LWJ loves him. He's just found out LWJ saved him and went against his own sect to try and protect him. He's just been told that after all of that, he said nothing more to LWJ than 'get lost'. Obviously WWX was catatonic and wasn't even really aware what was going on, or what he was saying at the time. I've covered this in a previous post, in case anyone wants to read more into the scene - so I won't go into it too much.

WWX has also just found out that he is the indirect cause of the discipline whip scars on LWJ's back. And finally, the thought of all the pain he has inadvertently caused LWJ (both physically and mentally) over the span of both his lives, is too much for him to bear. Not to mention the pain he must be feeling from trying to recall events that have caused him deeply rooted trauma. So it's no wonder poor WWX is close to crying - something which he very rarely does usually.

It's an incredibly emotional chapter and there are lots of feelings flooding to the surface. But at least we know LWJ and WWX do indeed get their happy ending together at last 💞

[c-130jsuperhercules]

okay rant on dark souls poison swamp got too long

like. one of the ways people fault darks souls 2 is that Miyazaki wasn’t very heavily involved in it. But apparently, looking at the other games, ds2 was even better for it. Like, take each games obligatory poison level, and i know i’ve ranted about this before, but holy shit. Dark souls 1, blighttown. the top part, fantastic, once you get past all the frame dropping issues. the verticality of it, the complexity of it, the way it makes you change up your play style, love it. The bottom tho? the bottom of blighttown? i will die on the hill of how bad and boring it is, not that anyone reasonable would kill me for it. You get past this amazing level of spooky mosquitos coming after you, evil dogs, stupid fucking toxic dart shooters, elevators, the whole nine yards only to get to the bottom and be introduced to Walking Simulator but it Hurts 2011. And, you have to keep going back there if you want to finish like three or four npc quests. 

DS3? Ohh, now there’s a miyazaki poison swamp alright. This time, he didn’t even put a blighttown before it, and don’t get me wrong, road of sacrifices is a pretty decent level, but it wasn’t blighttown with five extra years of thought put into it. this time, we’re spared the npc quests in favor of having a fuckton of items(one or two of which you do need to grab for an npc quest tho). I will give ds3 that it does have better enemies in it than ds1, tho. rock throwing fucko got nothing on the elder ghru. And we can see that this time, FromSoft heard people say “ohhhhhh the poison at the bottom of blighttown almost killed me so oftennnnnnn, it was so annoying to have to mitigate for the sake of some npcs and a couple items” and decided to just drop the poison damage down to fucking nothing. I have genuinely not used a poison cure item out of necessity in ds3 everrrr. At least the boss fight that came afterwards was badass.

Dark Souls 2. Now, i may be biased, but i do believe Harvest Valley is the best poison “swamp” between the three. Here, poison is actually a danger, but there’s enough items around and in a small enough area that it feels like holding your breath to dig around in a radioactive treasure chest, instead of wallowing through the equivalent of a prostate exam if the guy you’re elbow deep in suddenly decides to kegel really hard and twist. Instead of standing ankle deep in poop water, you at times are wading through a toxic miasma, that sticks to your skin and continues to make that poison meter rise unless you use several poison mosses to wait it out, use a cleansing spell, or bathe! BATHE you can fucking bathe by rolling in water. Poison even does about five times more damage, compared to ds3, simultaneously making poison builds viable while making the entire way they approached poison different. Instead of it just being a status effect that puts a little timer on how long you can trudge around for, it is an actively threatening experience, you have to cure it as soon as possible or you will be facing some heavy losses. The devs, recognizing that, made it so it’s not an ever-present, yet mild hazard, but something more akin to a trap from ds1 sen’s fortress. And that’s not even getting into earthen fucking peak

Earthen fucking peak is one of my favorite areas in any souls game. It’s unorthodox, it’s fun, it’s vertical, it’s surprising, i love it. There’s several hidden doors, headless fucks, women you can make out with(but watch out), an old shifty fuck who makes ladders, you see pate again, elevators, hidden rooms, and the main advantage it has over blighttown(in addition to being a larger, more fleshed out level with a lot more stuff going on), is how well the boss at the end ties it all together. When you get through Blighttown, you face Quelaag. When you get through farron keep, you face the Abyss watchers. Neither of these bosses share a connection with their boss run except by lore. Mytha, the Baneful Queen, tho? Not only is she a headless snake lady, akin to the headless manikins and the poisoned area, but her boss room is almost filled with poison that heals her if she stays in it. However, if you set fire to the windmill(which you can find out how to do bc a npc summon will help guide you and point to it and cheer when you do it) below her boss room, the poison stops getting pumped up there, making the poison ring around you smaller, and the boss fight that much easier. Like fuck yeah! That’s what i call interesting level design! That’s what i call sticking to a theme! Not to mention, you kill her deeply devoted and in-love-with-her servant on the first floor, then go upstairs to meet her, so the entire is a metaphor for cuckolding.

[not-orphaned-account]

Hey.

So, this is mostly a vent post, because I need to get it off of my chest. Under the cut will be the whole vent part, so read if you want ig.

The main point without all the exposition is that I'm going to be pausing all of my fics indefinitely due to health reasons. Depending on how things go, this could last for like a week or several months. It's likely not going to be too long, but whatever the case, all fics and requests will be on hold.

Thank you for understanding. Vent under the cut. CW for hospital stuff ig

I've been struggling with intense dizzy spells for almost a year now, having three major spells of dizziness and confusion but general problems with light headedness and brief periods of vertigo in between. Two weeks ago I went to urgent care as I was very confused and dizzy and I knew something was wrong. I got a bunch of tests and the doctor told me it was likely something to do with the medication I'm currently taking.

Yesterday, I collapsed in class. Out of nowhere I got intense vertigo, and on top of that I started to have a panic attack, possibly the worst one I've ever had. I tried to get up and leave the room but I nearly blacked out and fell immediately. The paramedics were called and I was taken to the emergency room.

They did more tests. They had me tell the whole story multiple times. They have no idea what's wrong. I was referred to a rapid intake neurology clinic who are apparently going to get in touch in a few days to order some scans and more tests.

I'm scared. Looking at screens is making it worse- which is not only affecting my writing, but my education and career path, which involves working on computers for hours at a time. Reading is hard too, and writing/drawing on paper is hardly better. I'm dizzy, and I'm confused, and I'm very scared. My family lives hours away, and I have no information on my biological family's medical history.

Most of this has nothing to do with this account or anything about my internet presence. I know that I'm not some sort of huge influencer, so it's not like I owe anybody this explanation. I write silly little internet stories and most people don't even know I exist. I think that's why I feel okay with posting this; at least I'm able to get it off my chest, even if no one really reads it. If you did, well. Thanks I guess.

Rant over. My head hurts. I'll probably delete this sometime soon.

[lennyguardianistheonlyright]

Turns Out God Won't Let Me Die Chapter One

Guardian’s hands were sore from gripping the chainsaw, it slipped from his grasp when he was knocked down onto his back. He tried to quickly retrieve it but his body froze when Po’s spider legs positioned above him.

He felt his shoulders and chest yield to the stabbing pain. Guardian tried to scream but his voice wouldn’t come out right. His vision began to dim.

He failed.

He groans, lifting his head up. Guardian is startled that he actually woke up, but what he actually noticed were the screens in front of him. He leans in and recognizes the figures on the screens.

“You have to be kidding me.” The white tubby groans in disbelief.

Why have the sun gods cursed him like this?

What can he even do? Sure it was a chance to stop the ill future, but again, what can he do?

How can he stop Noo-Noo? Should he try to keep his focus completely on the robot? 

Choices were very hard for him, but he knows he has to try. He wasn’t just going to sit here and watch the same events unfold.

Guardian takes a deep breath to try to calm his nerves. He searches the screens until he spots the cleaning bot.

He obviously was angrily scolding Tinky Winky for having a ‘sissy’ purse.

The purple child’s ears fold down and he begins to cry. His skin crawls, he never actually has seen this. Admittedly he sometimes accidentally focuses too much on Dipsy and Laa Laa.

Guardian feels himself actually feeling sick when he witnesses Noo Noo turn from scolding to yelling and kicks him.

His ears flinch hearing Tinky cry even more.

The dome door suddenly opens and here comes Po stomping in.

“NOO NOO YOU ROBO BITCH LEAVE MY TINKY ALONE!” Po shouted, stomping her foot down with each word.

Guardian had maybe forgotten Po’s swearing habit she caught from Dipsy.

(Which was funny in a way considering Po is three.)

And how she would be summoned by Tinky’s distress.

Guardian pieced this from a long memory of while watching Dipsy and Laa Laa, Po’s small ears had suddenly shot up. Her antenna glowed and she left the two to run off somewhere.

Now he knew why and where. He wondered if Po actually could really sense when her best friend was in distress. It could just be a coincidence but…

Noo Noo walks away, uncaring of the whole situation, Po comforts Tinky while Guardian focuses on the robot.

It’s really boring watching Noo Noo only clean, he barely could manage to stay awake due to how painfully dull this was.

Suddenly the cleaner was hit by a familiar orange ball.

“I would normally say sorry, but you’re a piece of swiss.” Laa-Laa walked over to retrieve her ball.

Guardian supposed he must have switched over to a different teletubby since he doesn’t remember this either. 

Noo-Noo picks it up before she can and goes off in a rant of ‘keep your dumbass ball outside’.

Laa-Laa blankly stares at her captured ball. Guardian could tell her eight year old mind was trying to sort through her options and probably concerned Noo-Noo would pop her favorite toy.

She narrows her green eyes and puts her hands on her hips, glaring up at the tubby robot. He apparently didn’t notice.

She sighed then clapped her hands loudly, “Dipsy!”

The green teletubby rushed into the dome at the same time of Noo-Noo stopping as she said the name of his least favorite teletubby.

“What?” Dipsy complained, he had been in the middle of his jogging.

Laa-Laa points up at the ball. 

Dipsy’s reaction to this was to pick up his friend and chuck her up.

Laa-Laa gripped Noo-Noo’s bright red antenna and tugged it as roughly as she could.

The bot swears in pain as he drops the ball and tries to pry her hands away, but she had a surprisingly tight hold for a child.

“Don’t cheesing touch my swissing ball again you piece of swiss!” She yells in her loophole cuss words.

Dipsy laughed while Noo-Noo screamed out for the Announcer.

Guardian almost didn’t recognize the Announcer without the weapons. The robot was a military weapon bot but when Noo-Noo was dangerously close to causing psychological damage to Tinky Winky and Dipsy, the scientists in charge of this experiment reprogrammed a robot to act as a caretaker.

Announcer rushed from the other side of the dome to remove Laa-Laa and her ball. He sets her down.

She rolls her ball out of the dome with Dipsy trailing behind her.

Guardian slapped his cheeks to keep himself awake as night slowly creeped over the mainland.

Noo-Noo didn’t power off like usual. Instead he walked out of the dome and to the side.

Guardian leans forward, curious. Then surprised when the bot pressed the tip of his foot down on something, the ground opened and he descended down.

He got a pit in his stomach when he realized no cameras were down there and there was only one way to find what the bot was doing.

He would have to go outside.

[uncanny8ellen]

Some songs show me images. Inspirations. I rant instead of writing fics. Cuz who has time for that? I barely got time to eat. But I always got time to say how Hunter got it bad for the Mechanical Lord. Maybe too spicy for empty stomach lol.

I like the phrase 'mental breakout'. I came up with that from a song. Hysteria - Muse

That song fits Hunter so well when he lets himself go. Here's this chill, calm, self-effacing fella who likes to perch on the highest branches and stare off into horizon for hours on end.

Then a certain metal hobo pushes one too many wrong(correct) buttons and he goes 'So you can talk the talk. Let's see if you can handle the walk.'

Really, he didn't even blink an eye when Karl broke his arm to bits, took all the temper tantrums with the adeptness of a seasoned parent, caught and dragged his unconscious ass to the bed since the dumbass erased the concept of sleep from his dictionary, kept off any wayward villagers or lycans off of the said man's territory, all the while collecting Intel for the stinky man and doing his part of the job around the village.

So he's a little stressed.

His humanity was purely a product of nurturing. His nature only ever speaking in ravenous hunger or absolute apathy doesn't help.

Karl getting in his face with those glimmering eyes too often alight with blazing golden fire doesn't help.

Those full lips curling around cigar into well-loved but such insufferable smirk doesn't help.

As Lumber once wisely said, "My brother might have a patience of a saint, but don't go thinking that he is one."

They fuck for days and no work in factory gets done. "I thought you were gonna break me.", "Where's that confidence, my Lord?"

There is absolutely no more place left on his skin to mark. Neck, shoulders, back, chest, thighs, just name it. There's a cut on his cheek that's still bleeding. Some tears on lips from bites that can't quite be called kissing. Karl bit too hard one time and honest to God he felt his canines hitting a bone. Just when he tries to pull back in actual concern what does the maniac say? "Now that's a bite."

He gives as good as he gets too. After they're done chomping down like they want to cannibalize each other rather than fuck, they lap up the blood, all the while the brutal pounding never slowing.

When Hunter got too frantic Heisenberg tried tying him down with chains, like many times before, then soon finds out that Hunter let himself be chained down, because this time he just tugs and breaks the thing off, just like that, and immediately lunges at him.

Anyone would wonder if they're having sex or fighting to death. Or both.

With the mechanic's metal bending ability you'd think holding down a man will be like a breeze but no. Hurricane Katrina doesn't hold a fucking candle. The huntsman just dodges everything. Surely he can't dodge the entire factory wall that's been ripped apart in rage? Apparently not. The guy grabs the railing, barrel rolls around the platform, and fling himself back on like nothing happened.

Karl isn't even mad anymore. Hunter runs like crazy, eyes bloodshot and never once breaking away from his. Karl can never let him out of his sight until it eventually happens, and he's on the ground again because, once again, the little fuck appeared out of thin air and tackled him. Aaand they're right back to where they left off. Wrestling around, not caring who's dick is in who.

They keep going at it. At anywhere but where they should be doing it, really. When they somehow reaches bed Karl is the one who calls time out. "Just what the fuck are you?" he asks, gulping down a cup of water. That unsettling look still hasn't washed off from those all-consuming gaze, and the reply he gets is, "You're asking me now?"

10 mins and they're back on humping. No words. Time blurs. None of them remembers nor cares if they've even eaten during those 3 days. On fourth, Heisenberg wakes up from post coital coma and cannot move. They are bedridden for a whole day. Hunter manages to sit up and every single bones in his body crack. He semi-crawls to the kitchen to get emergency ration, just some left over bacon they are, and feeds half conscious Karl in bed.

When they have feelings in their limbs, that's when they finally start functioning again. The mad engineer has learned to test the water ever since, toning it down a bit with his teasing and all, in case Hunter's on the verge of that madness again.

If anything, he's more interested in the marksman now. 'Beware of a silent man and still water.' And here he thought that silence was simple timidity.

Who knew such gentle demeanor could come from a little monster like that?

[kitxkatrp]

Personal rant under the cut because I needed to put it somewhere--

tw: child abuse mention

I just think sometimes back to my childhood and realize how horrific my parents were? Like I was being starved and no one cared at my home (I lived with a stepsister and a stepbrother as well and they didn't give a shit either) and everytime I tried to go down and eat I was either given a scary aura that told me to leave or I would get in trouble for some bullshit I had never heard of before or that my stepmother would hold onto just until she had me in a moment I couldn't get away.

They also didn't explain things to me and then blamed me for not knowing them? Like they never explained to me that I was 11 and shouldn't be dating a 17 year old. When they found out I had briefly been dating one, I got BLAMED for leading him on instead of them being mad at him for taking advantage of an 11 year old? They never even had a conversation with me that this was even wrong, I had to learn that from contextual clues after this incident.

I was called stupid and incompetent for not remembering things (which were a product of both my PTSD and depression) and made fun of for crying and panicking when put on the spot because I had severe anxiety. I am also autistic, and might have ADHD, and was displaying all these symptoms and constantly being punished for them.

I also remember being GUILTED for having conflicting feelings toward my abusive mother because she was very ill and mentally ill and ended up dying and I didn't act like I actively condemned or hated her and apparently this was a problem. I was confused, she was my Mother, even if she did bad things why was I supposed to hate her? I didn't get it. I still don't understand it?

The only time anyone ever tried to get involved my parents punished me for telling and my Father went down to the school to explain away me being dragged across the house by my hair hard enough I was bleeding when I went into school and ever since then no one ever did anything but try to feed me when my parents weren't watching.

My entire extended family believed I was a demon and everything was my fault too because that's what my parents told them. Not one of them ever stood up for me.

This is just one of those days I'm grateful to be alive because I can think of like 5 near death experiences I had and I did not think I was gonna make it to 18. Thank goodness I did. Going to college literally saved my life. I was starving and all my friends at college thought i had an eating disorder that was very severe when I showed up. I was so weak I could barely walk down the road without feeling sick. I was passing out when I got up for school. It hurt to breathe being on my back because my whole chest was trying to cave in when I breathed out.

Anyway, the memories are hitting me hard today. You didn't have to read this, and if you did, thank u for being my friend cause I appreciate it so much. You all are my family because obviously the one I was born with and given was trash.