#are probably on the same page as i am about a certain someone

[kingjasnah]

Do you have any Stormlight 5 predictions you think for sure will be in the book? For me I am convinced that Dalinar will lose the duel due to refusing to kill the baby/child that odium makes his champion, also kaladin will become the new radiant ruler

i LOVE that we are all united in the idea that dalinar is gonna get his ass kicked cause there's no way they win that duel!!!!! my theories are still percolating, i kinda want to reassess with the entirety of mistborn era 2 in mind but right now my big end of arc 1 predictions are:

the ten day duel lasts the first half of the book

the oathpact is reformed, someone get braized. probably dalinar if losing the duel doesnt kill him

szeth dies. sorry. i love him but i think this is it.

chana shows up/the chanarach davar theory will be explicitly confirmed or denied. i feel like every herald should be accounted for by this book

there's another thaidakar scare (after the prologue) that suggests they figured out how to get stormlight off world. either this or we get an answer as to how hoid suspended his nahel bond with design to get to scadrial

adolin figures out how to restore maya and it has something to do with the sibling

i dont want to make any predictions abt kaladin cause im scared

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Why do some of us not *hate* Tamlin?

I am pro-tamlin, not pro feylin. I would prefer Tamlin to never have to deal with the NC ever again. If SJM never types his name out again I will be happy.

Tw: light mentions to DV, SA, and Divorce.

Feyre is written in a way that makes it feel like she is intentionally manipulating us against Tamlin to justify her leaving him the way she did, and to put Rhysand up on a pedestal.

The abrupt and sloppy way SJM handled Tamlins' character assassination induced my fight or flight. Let me explain:

My parents divorced when I was 4, and I had to learn, quickly, how to interpret people's true intentions and empathize with where they are coming from vs just blindly listening to someones account of what happened. My father got custody of us and would use the same elements against my mom that Feyre uses against Tamlin. I HAVE to read between the lines or I would fall to the intentional manipulation.

"She left me so she probably cheated" "he trapped me in the house" "she has a new boyfriend so she doesn't care about you anymore" "he hit me [when I was actively TRYING to get him to hit me to sway public opinion of him]"

Everytime Feyre left for the NC, she did so kicking and screaming. Every indication Tamlin could see was that she did NOT want to go with Rhys, until he gets a letter from her saying to not come looking for her that she doesn't want to be with him. Tamlin didn't know she could read or write. Had that been my love I would assume it was a ransom note too, written by someone else. Had she actually spent 1 hr winnowing to Tamlin, tell him face to face, then winnow back (with an escort) he MIGHT have gotten the hint.

A tithe was a weird thing to use to show how cruel Tamlin is, considering how 2/3 of the night court live in constant fear, children's bones are broken for misbehaving, the CoN are trapped there. SJM really showed us that she has no political knowledge what so ever. I barely started ACOFAS and when Feyres talking about the unnatural sum of her money, my first thought is "You don't amass that level of wealth without oppressing someone." Lucien said that Tamlin would be expected to hunt down those not able to pay the tithe, but when we get to Tamlins actual actions he just said "get it together in 3 days or pay double next time". In my initial reading, I interpreted it as another mask (like how Rhysand acts). Tamlin does this due to tradition, he is expected to act a certain way, but *I felt* he had no intention of acting out what he said. It was just a line he was expected to say to send the wraith away without others expecting the same.

Feyre and Tamlin were not right for eachother because they were not eachothers mates. People can exist fine separately, and be incredibly toxic together. From page 1 we see Feyres inherent inability to empathize with anyone, she has it bad, she has to hunt, therefore her sisters don't do anything. But she also can't cook, so who was preparing the meat she brought home? It gave me "housework isn't real work" vibes. Feyre also doesn't communicate very well, which would explain why a literal mind reader was able to help her better than Tamlin was. I saw Tamlin trying but not being able to help her because he couldn't read her mind.

Feyre didn't want to be trapped in a manor for a few hours while she was displaying manic behavior, but she condoned her sisters be trapped in the HOW for 6 weeks immediately after losing their lives. She condones the treatment of the people in Hewn city and supports the literal Jim Crow laws placed against them in Velaris when all they wanted was to leave. She condones and supports trapping Nesta in HoW after the war just to force Cassain on her so Feyre can play matchmaker.

Feyre is an inherently self centered sociopath. She can read minds and still can't develop a shred of empathy.

Just leave Tamlin alone. Damn.

[caassette]

been on tumblr less than a week and already Trans Discourse is on my timeline front page dash...

idk i kind of just feel like...there are actual real threats right now in the world to all trans people, and like. trying to create in-groups and out-groups within the community is the most braindead thing you can do

they are killing us. they want us dead. any time you try to segregate one fraction of the queer community from another, their job gets a little easier. let me give you an example that happened recently in Texas while I was living there:

June 2022: Log Cabin Republican Praises Trump, "Don't Say Gay", Trans Hate

Also June 2022: Texas GOP's New Platform calls gay people "abnormal"

Log Cabin Republicans are essentially gay conservatives. And as part of trying to be accepted, under Trump, they decided trans people were the out-group and that gay people (specifically, white cisgender gay men) were the in-group.

If I had to guess, they probably figured so long as they also pointed the finger at us and called us groomers and said we were fetishists, they would be more accepted in the republican party.

Guess what happened? Not that! Instead, the Texas GOP, in 2022 (Two Thousand And Twenty Two) decided that being gay was once again Not Okay!

This is what I'm getting at: in queer spaces, always, always, there must be solidarity. There is no such thing as someone who is "not gay enough", or "not really trans", or "just looking for attention."

I, myself, am a binary trans woman. My current partner is a genderfluid transmasculine nonbinary person. Do I spend hours talking with them about how they do or don't face certain forms of oppression, or about how their identity is less valid than mine?

Of course not! We kiss and hold hands and fuck and have empathy for each other.

As a queer person it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be one hundred percent accepting, validating, and encouraging of ALL QUEERNESS, because the second you decide to draw the line, the oppressor wins.

Maybe you're not a Log Cabin Republican. Maybe you're not advocating for trans genocide while being in a same-sex relationship. Maybe you just, idk, use the word "theyfab." Or you think pansexuals should "just call themselves bi."

It doesn't matter that the line you've drawn is farther left, or smaller, or excludes less of the community.

What matters is that you've drawn it at all.

[anonymergremlin]

Types of hugs

As promised, another piece of my thoughts and headcanons. This time about the gestures we learn in the game. I got really curious after receiving this one gesture after reading a certain sad letter. Is our boy learning from them? Is he curious about human gestures? Who knows.

Anyway, gender-neutral this time. For all you lovely people out there.

I hope you enjoy it and please forgive me for any mistakes. I am just a silly gremlin.

A heavy rainstorm rattled through the floors. Turning the once silent night into a restless one, keeping some of Hotel Krat souls awake. Step by step they approached the hotel's library. Perhaps a good book would help them through such a stormy night. Their fingers curled around the handle of the door. Slowly they opened it. To their surprise they were greeted by a brightly lit room. Another soul must have found its way into the library. "Oh... I didn't think anyone else would -" they stopped their own words as the other person came into view. It wasn't just anyone from the other residence, no, it was the puppet. Geppeto's puppet. The young man stood beside one of the many bookshelves. Fingers running through pages. He seemed to be quite concentrated on the writings.

“P?”.

As his name left their lips, he immediately turned. For a moment his porcelain face looked so blank, but it changed so quickly. The softest smile of all covered his face, his blue eyes lit up and his freckles almost seemed to shine like stars. It was impressive how much he had changed, he really had become more human.

"Have you found something interesting, my dear puppet? Would you like to show it to me?"

They took a few steps to close the distance between them, close enough for a quick glance at the book. To their surprise, P's finger pointed to a particular word.

Hug.

"Are you curious about hugs, P?" they asked him, eyes moving from the book to his blue eyes. He nodded. It wasn't unusual for him to be interested in human gestures. They had seen him mimic some of those described in books or letters before. Once he even mimicked a painting of a knight, his rapier close to his chest, the blade pointed to the sky, his back straight and a proud smile on his face. It was an amusing sight that brought a smile to their face.

"Well, my dear P, there are many kinds of hugs. You could say that one type of hug is never the same as another". They moved one of their hands up, raising their index finger like a teacher giving an important lesson. "In general, you can hug a person to show them that they are welcome, but you can also hug someone to say 'thank you'. You see? A hug can mean two completely different things." His mouth opened slightly and his eyes blinked, indicating his understanding. "A hug can also be a gesture of consolation. For example, when you see someone crying. You can go up to them and hug them, hoping that by doing that, you're going to comfort them through their sadness." For a moment, they stopped themselves and thought of all the people out there who deserve to be hugged. To have just the slightest bit of comfort in their lives. From the look on P's face, they had a feeling that the puppet probably had the same feeling. 

They shook their heads, trying to rid their mind of the thought of Krat's sad state. The people must continue to look forward to a better future. They brought their thoughts back to the hugs. With a slight blush, they remembered another important kind of hug.

"There's also... the kind of hug that lovers do," they said, almost whispering the words out of a slight sense of embarrassment. A fine blush rose to their cheeks as they thought about it more clearly. "Lovers hug as a gesture of their love. They embrace each other, body to body, to feel each other's warmth. Wishing they never have to let go." Their eyes closed for a second, imagining the feeling of someone holding them like that. Two hands gently touching their backs, arms wrapped around their frame and a chin resting softly on one of their shoulders. The thought alone left a good feeling in their chest, but to their surprise, it seemed to come from a real source. Eyes opened to find themselves in a hug. Two hands gently resting on the small of their back, arms carefully wrapped around their frame and a chin tucked between their neck and shoulder. P hugged them like a lover. He put just a tiny bit of pressure on them to pull them closer to him, wrapping his arms a little more around their frame and hiding his head in their neck.

They had only just told him about this kind of hug, but he was already imitating it so perfectly. And they knew from the softness and gentleness of his touch that he was serious about what the hug was saying.

Perhaps it wasn't a book that they needed in order to find comfort on this stormy night. Perhaps it is simply the hug of the person they love that they need.

[littlemisssatanist]

on the topic of me being team green

a bit of a different post for me, considering what my blog is, but i was honestly so offended at being called a misogynist i made a fresh google docs page and typed out 1634 words of me ranting.

is there a real reason to post this? probably not, but i felt the need to establish myself as team green, considering all the posts i've been liking and commenting on lately. (if you are team green, and you see this, feel free to be my friend. in fact, i am begging you to be my friend. i have no tg friends and i need to see the light).

beware, typos and repitition are probably aplenty.

Whenever I see people talk about being TG, I always will see TB stans in the comments saying something along the lines of “Oh, you must be a misogynist, then.” And you know, it never happened to me until a few days ago when I commented on a TikTok post about Rhaenyra beefing with two-year-old Aegon. Someone replied to me, saying that I only brought it up because I’m a misogynist.

And. You know, I’ve been insulted before. I’ve been called ugly, stupid, immature, whatever whatever. But I honestly can’t think of a worse thing for someone to say to me, that I’m a misogynist. I know this isn’t that commentator’s fault, because they obviously don't know me. But the irony of calling me a misogynist when I am the most misandristic person to exist on this earth. I pray for the downfall of men daily. I make fun of them. Whenever I see an AITA post on TikTok, I am immediately on the woman’s side, regardless of what she may have done. 

It’s because I distrust men to a certain degree. You know what’s different for ASoIaF, though? It’s not real. It’s all fiction. TB stans will come on the internet daily and complain about TG existing, calling us misogynists, elevating the conflict between us to that of a literal genocide. Are y'all delusional? Are you guys stuck so far up Rhaenyra’s ass that you can’t tell reality from fiction? 

Y’all love to preach about how Rhaenyra is the number one feminist girlboss of Westeros, without realizing exactly how exactly you’re falling into the trap. You uphold a woman because she’s the heir, meanwhile she steals Rhaena’s and Baela’s inheritance in order to put her illegitimate sons on the throne (which, btw, is treason). But of course you guys wouldn’t care, because you like to think Rhaenyra is the exception to the rule.

That’s the thing. She’s only the exception because of her father, the king. After Viserys dies, she suddenly finds herself back in the same patriarchal world that y’all love to claim she’s trying to overthrow, that she’s trying to change. 

I don’t hate Rhaenyra because she’s a woman. I hate her because she’s a stupid woman. She knew exactly what it meant to be a woman in Westeros; she gets forced into an unwanted marriage (and even in that she gets far more freedom and will to choose than other women), she is undermined for being a woman, and others view her as unfit to rule. I would sympathize with her if she did absolutely anything to change that whatsoever. 

Y’all love to say that she’s so iconic with her dragon scenes, but what did that really accomplish aside from showcasing she is unfit to rule? She has three illegitimate sons who look absolutely nothing like her. Even if Viserys was on her side, everyone knows that they are bastards. Like, at least Cersei’s bastards looked like her. Rhaenyra was a white woman with white hair married to a black man with white hair, and her first three children are white boys with brown hair. Girl, if you were going to have bastards, at least do it with someone that bears at least some resemblance to your husband, or yourself. She purposefully made it harder for herself.

And for those of you guys who will bring up something about Laenor being gay. I genuinely don’t know how to tell you this, but if they truly cared about keeping up appearances, they would have had children. I say this as a queer person myself: If I were in Laenor’s shoes, I would have children with my coverup. Afterall, that’s what a coverup is for. And also: I could find nothing about Laenor being infertile. 

And for those who will also bring up Laenor accepting the Strong boys as his own, I literally couldn't care less. Everyone and their grandmother could see that those boys were bastards. Laenor accepting them and Viserys being delusional doesn’t change the fact that they were illegitimate, and everybody knew it. Secondly: Rhaenyra would need to admit the boys were bastards in the first place for anybody to claim them, something she did not do. In fact, she went so far the opposite way, I wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to delude herself that they were legitimate. 

And this I don’t understand. How do you shoot yourself in the foot, not once, not twice, but three times, with three obvious bastards, knowing that people would oppose you, people already oppose you, and still think yourself fit to rule? Every decision Rhaenyra makes is so stupid, it’s almost mind blowing to me. To live in Dragonstone for years while your father, the king, is sick (in which case, btw, the heir is supposed to step in to rule). Instead, we see Alicent ruling the kingdoms from behind the shadow, because Rhaenyra does nothing but live out a couple of years of bliss and comes back to King's Landing expecting everything to be handed to her. She does absolutely no politicking, absolutely nothing in order to sway the lords to her side. Should she be so surprised, then, that she is met with such resistance? 

Y’all TB stands love to call TG misogynistic because we don’t worship your perfect little dragon lady, as if her uncle-husband isn’t Lord of Fleabottom and grooms and rapes her from a young age. As if Daemon hasn’t called women whores and bitches, and his first wife, Rhea Royce, ‘Bronze Bitch.’ Like, is that not disgusting to you? Y’all love to preach about how Daemon loved Rhaenyra, as if he didn’t choke her the moment she disagreed with his methods. As if his first instinct everytime is anger and death and war.

(In case y’all couldn’t tell, I am extremely anti-war. I am under the impression that if you can’t solve things by talking it out, then you are definitely not mature enough to be ruling a kingdom, and Daemon is one of the most immature rapist misogynists I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing).

(As an aside, I am not blaming Rhaenyra for her relationship with Daemon. Yes, I do find that most of her actions are stupid, but I cannot deny the fact that she was groomed and raped by him-- yes, raped, because she was a child, and children cannot consent. That is in no way her fault, and Daemon is the one responsible for this).

Y’all praise Rhaenyra for her maternal instincts while simultaneously hating Alicent for hers. Of course, an eye for an eye is unreasonable and far too much, but a son for a son is totally reasonable and to be expected. Rhaenyra protecting her children is being a good mother, but Alicent (rightfully) assuming that her children would be persecuted if Rhaenyra ascended the throne is her being a jealous bitch. Y’all blow her “sweet sister” line so much out of proportion, saying that she wouldn’t have killed her siblings if they just came over to her side. As if Alicent’s children, Alicent’s family, would choose Rhaenyra over her. Because “Helaena was the only good green” and “if only she just joined Rhaenyra”. Why would she ever do that? Because Aegon was a bad husband? The show literally stated that he only ever laid with her when he was drunk, because he couldn't do it otherwise. Obviously neither of them sought any pleasure from it, but they are still family. Helaena only had Aemond, Aegon, Daeron, and Alicent. Why would Rhaenyra ever be worth what her family is worth to her?

On a similar note, TB stans will constantly say how “oh, I feel sorry for younger Alicent, but not older Alicent.” As if Alicent wasn’t a 14 year old girl groomed and abused, as if she wasn’t twice pregnant by 17. As if Alicent wasn’t a victim doing her best in a world specifically designed against her.

That’s the difference between her and Rhaenyra. Both were victims to a much older man, but Rhaenyra considered herself an exception. Alicent had no choice but to be the bad guy, and despite how much y’all love to ignore it, Rhaenyra should have done the same. “Oh but Alicent was jealous of Rhaenyra!” Like you wouldn’t also be jealous of Rhaenyra? Rhaenyra, the perfect little princess, loved by her rapist daddy the king, who had everything handed to her on a silver platter. Would you not also be infuriated by her attitude, the entitled way she views the world? I’m sorry, but if your “strong female character” needs every other female character to agree with her, then she’s not that strong. Or a girlboss.

In conclusion, Rhaenyra sucks and is a terrible role model. True feminists love Alicent Hightower. Also, negative comments will be deleted, bc yk what is so fun about the internet? You can block people. I know, crazy concept. If you don’t want to see me or other TG on your for you page, consider blocking them. That tends to get rid of the thing you don’t want to see. I will also be doing this to anyone who thinks they’re smart enough to argue this topic with me. I do not care, hope your day goes terribly. <3

Btw, please never call me a misogynist again. In fact, you can call me Little Miss Misandrist, because there is no universe out there where I side with a man over Alicent Hightower. Or any woman at all, for that matter. 

(Except for maybe if the pickings were between Rhaenyra and Criston. If you’re one of the media illiterate TB stands who consider Criston to be an incel, you should also go ahead and block me, your stupidness is draining my brain cells).

Stay mad, xoxo.

[taystarotoverload]

What Direction Is Your Life Headed In

☆ this is JUST a general reading so take what resonates leave what doesn’t. we’re going to be looking at what path the universe has you on right now + more! 🤍

☆ how to PICK A PILE: Breathe in deeply for 3 and out for 5. Meditate on each picture continuing this manual breathing. Ask spirit out loud or in your head “what direction is my life headed in” and meditate on it. You’ll hear a number or see a number pop into your head, or maybe you’ll feel drawn to a certain pile. whatever works for you go for it! if you’re new to pick a piles this may be difficult at first, but as you read and watch them more and more the process becomes much easier! 😊

☆ lastly thank you thank you to my guides and your guides for offering me and providing me the energy, knowledge, and guidance to do this reading. 🤍

————————————

PILE 1:

wheel of fortune - judgement - eight of pentacles - knight of cups - five of pentacles - three of pentacles - 7 of cups - page of cups

pile 1 you are going to be receiving so much fortune and balance in your life. some of you will be starting a new job and this will help you financially. seeings lots of money coming into your life pile 1. you’re going to feel better mentally too. some of you were just down in the dumps and spirit is saying “not for long !” because you’re going to see your life change drastically. pile 1 there are a lot of people who have their eyes on you? i’m seeing that people are thinking about you and talking about you. this can be people thinking about hiring you for a job? some of y’all are in a BAD workspace and the universe is like “we don’t want you to go through this… so we got you this” and it’s like the same job but a whole different energy lol. some of y’all are going to get into a relationship with someone? i’m not seeing this relationship lasting a looonnggg time but it will be a very rewarding relationship. i’m seeing that lots of changes will be made but you’ll also be faced with lots of choices. you’re probably going to feel extremely overwhelmed and stressed by all of these ‘choices’ but spirit wants you to know that you’re on the right path, and whatever choice you make will bring you more fortune and more balance. i’m seeing that spirit wants you to reaaallllyyyy think about your choices before you make them though. don’t just get up and do something without thinking, actually take the time to analyze it.

PILE 2:

two of wands - wheel of fortune - six of pentacles - nine of cups - death - four of pentacles

wow pile 2 there is an old energy coming into your life? somebody that you knew in the past is coming back into your life, but this time they’re going to be wise and bring you lots of closure. pile 2 are y’all confused about something? is there something you’re really needing closure on that is making you slightly annoyed/angry? just heard something some of y’all are in relationships and your partner might be hiding something? or could be friends or work partners. i’m seeing that there is an energy that will come into your life and bring you lots of closure and clarity. you will feel relieved. you feel a very strong weight on your shoulder, this is going to be lifted. i’m seeing some of you might be getting a raise at your job OR you will be getting a new job that pays reeeaaalllyyyy well. i’m seeing that lots of balance will be brought into y’all’s life, you’re going to view the world in a whole different light a whole different perspective. your energy is very strong to manifesting right now. don’t be afraid to manifest crazy things because crazy things can happen. pile 2 y’all are a very laid back, calm, mature pile. i’m feeling very safe in your energy. i’m seeing that not a LOT will change in your life but i am seeing that good offers will be sent to you, and you will find yourself with more money?? i’m just seeing you’re going to be smiling a lot more too haha

PILE 3:

eight of cups - the moon - the empress - four of swords - temperance - six of swords - two of swords

so pile 3 y’all are interesting because i’m sensing some if not all of you are going through something with somebody right now. y’all are a very giving pile and might i say y’all can be a bit of a people pleaser. i’m seeing that there is a person or people that is feeding off of your energy. you’re giving a lot to this person and you’re receiving nothing back. this is very damaging to your own energy because you might be feeling very damaged and low and depressed. your energy is very stagnant and just empty. you already are aware of how this person is feeding off of you and it is honestly draining to even be aware about. im seeing that you just feel very used. you might feel like you have to walk around eggshells with this person. spirit knows the best option for you is to drop whoever this is in your life. don’t keep this negative energy in your life, because i’m seeing this could definitely cause problems in the future. i’m seeing once you drop this person you’re going to still feel very lost and alone. you’re going to feel alone fs. this feeling might last for… well a long time. but during this time i’m seeing a lot of you will be doing shadow work. this change will ground you. i’m seeing y’all will be very grounded. i’m really not seeing anything super drastic in your life pile 3, but i just felt like something was missing so i pulled an oracle for you.

oracle: create

you’re a very creative pile. i’m seeing that you had a blockage in your life. you were blocked from receiving things and i believe this is from another persons energy. im seeing that some of you were working on something really important and an opportunity was ripped away from you, or you just no longer had the energy to do it. pile 3 you’re going to feel that creative part of you again. you’re going to feel this energy that urges you to do something you really like. im seeing that you’re going to try and distract yourself so you don’t think about what has happened or will happen. iykwim.

PILE 4:

eight of wands - knight of swords - page of swords - six of swords - two of swords - ace of pentacles - four of pentacles

your life is going to become very fast paced pile 4. im seeing lots of offers and lots of people coming into your life. i’m seeing something with work something big may be happening in your career. i’m seeing some of y’all your love life is about to take a turn??? uhhhh some of y’all bout to receive info about your partner. lots of secrets rising from the dead. things feel very fast and chaotic, lots of chaos might ensue in your pile. good and bad it’s very balanced but off balanced. some of y’all have some conflict happening? somebody might be irking y’all’s nerves so some conflict here and there. it’s really hard to think. y’all might have trouble thinking. i’m hearing a child that is like purposefully trying to annoy you… some of y’all might have some little kids trying to annoy you😭 i’m seeing some offers being handed out, be very cautious with who you talk to. there are some people who want to give you something that don’t have any good intentions. be very careful with who you let in your energy and space, some people like to see you fail and WANT to see you fail. you might be getting a haircut too tbh. some of y’all are trying to change something about yourselves and you’re going with style. you might be very curious about new things might find new hobbies? pile 4 y’all are giving me such scattered energy i’m feeling very happy then sad then annoyed etc etc, your emotions may be at an imbalance at this time. it’s from your. environment your environment is making y’all very chaotic. not many changes for you pile 4 if seeing life might feel very repetitious and boring. you might live in a big city so there’s lots of noise and people. you might feel very overwhelmed.

[iloveriddles]

Imaginal Disk Storyline + Lore.

Okay, this is all opinion and my theories.

From What I can tell, “Imaginal Disk” is about two people: our protagonist, True, and a sub-protagonist of sorts, Ghost.

True lives in a house away from town. All she can do in her house is watch TV and journal.

True hates herself, and has never felt loved, or really sees love anywhere. She is very depressed. She can’t bear to look at herself in the mirror, even. She hates the way she looks, as we see on the mirror from imaginaldisk.world in True’s room. Her face is all distorted and swirled if you click it.

She never sleeps because she “spends her days chasing clouds and counting sheep, waiting for the night to creep”.

She does this because in the field outside her house, during night, a mirror appears and in it she sees a person who looks like her. This is Ghost. I am not sure if this happens every single night, or just some, but True seems dedicated to talking to Ghost at any chance she can take.

Ghost sleeps every night well and wakes up to be in the field, opposite to True. At her side of the mirror, it’s daytime.

I know their names because of the journals in True’s bedroom, where the lyrics for Fear, Sex are handwritten with the name “Ghost” at the top, and the lyrics for Killing Time are written on the first page with with the name “True”.

Ghost, to True, is beautiful in every way. She’s pretty, she’s perfect. She is loved and happy, and True isn’t. Ghost is the “Angel on a satellite”, I am 99% sure. True, from speculation, lives vicariously in a way through Ghost. She wishes she could be Ghost, and it kills her. There’s even symbolism here with Ghost’s lover in the Death & Romance video being made of light and featureless. It’s like exactly what True wants, to “be pined for” as she says in Killing Time (“I don’t care if I don’t sleep // but someone better pine for me”), but she can’t imagine by whom because she has no love interest. She just wants faceless love. She wants to feel like she matters in some way, like she is worthy of time. “There’s always time for killing, but never time for me. It only takes a minute”, she sings in Killing Time.

It’s so sad =( she’s right, though. That’s how it feels. People have time to waste and do nothing, but not time to help their close ones when they’re in a low place. It’s neither party’s fault, but still “True”.

True’s room is also the same layout as Ghost’s, but opposite. I think they are maybe versions of themselves from parallel universes or something like that. There is also implication that they start seeing through each other’s eyes in intervals, and we see this a little at the end of the Death & Romance video when she touches the Disk. I think their brains are connected in some way.

As mentioned, True hates herself and is miserable. I think this is why she gets the Imaginal Disk. We know she watches TV, so she probably saw the ad “True Blue Interlude” which is between Killing Time and Image. Image is her getting diskinserted and going to The Doctor. In the advertisement, it seems to be singing to her. It even says her name, “True”. It’s advertised as being a next stage and phase, it’s like the perfect form of escaping for True. She doesn’t want to be herself, she wants to be “Pure” and a “better her”. I also wonder if True Blue Interlude has hypnotic properties in canon, or anything like that. It’s interesting how this changes Image so much if you know the story. “I’m the best you’ve got, *true* or not?”

We are missing music videos so I am not certain about some stuff. They said on Instagram that they’re making one for Tunnel Vision, which I am 90% certain it will be another True song. True’s eyes do the weird blink thing in the Fear, Sex music video. Also, in “That’s My Floor” the camera zooms into her eyes and she LITERALLY has “Tunnel Vision”.

Also from the “That’s My Floor” music video, we know that after getting her disk True wears red like The Doctor instead of her blue, and starts assisting him in diskinserting. There is so much speculative stuff here right now. For example, I wonder if The Doctor is supposed to be True’s universe’s version of the glowing light guy that Ghost is with. I don’t know, but it changes the songs A LOT if you know that the lyrics are in character. Some songs are Ghost songs, and others are True songs.

In “That’s My Floor”’s music video she accidentally kills the people dancing with her indirectly because she gave them the disks (speculation) so she runs away. This lines up with “The Outskirts” from the website. It says to “walk down and atone for your sins”, also also that “the weight of your guilt should be slowing you down more than that”.

I think it’s about True’s guilt for all she’s done with the Imaginal Disk. When it zooms into her stomach camera? It shows what I think is the reality she actually wants. She wants to remove their disks; but she doesn’t. I also don’t know if Ghost is actually there, or if she’s hallucinating/imagining her to be.

“Love Is Everywhere”, is a Ghost song. She says to “look through the holes in the sky” to “find Love”. I also think Cry For Me might be a Ghost song, because she says “Think of Love and you’ll remember me”. I wonder if she’s going to be killed off or something. This would be foreshadowed by “DEATH and romance”. Maybe The solid light guy (whom I assume went into The Cocoon at The Outskirts) dies, so Ghost does too? Not sure. Speculation.

In Angel on a Satellite, a song I believe to be about Ghost, True sings “A thousand eyes turn to stone and monochrome // surprise, surprise // they turn to smile at the same time”

Followed by

“That’s why I don’t look up // That’s why I’m always dancing”

I think this is symbolism for her depression and inability to feel love.

The “eyes” can’t feel; they only watch. They symbolize people around her. They’re “stone” and “monochrome” because they are cold and reflective onto her, these represent people in her life that she can’t show her misery around. Like being depressed and having to hide it from your family, or friends that say “I’m always here to listen” but do not mean it in the slightest. She’s “always dancing” because she’s masking her loneliness and self-hate for those watching her.

True has never left love. We know she doesn’t truly. She sings about it multiple times. I think this part of She Looked Like Me! Is about Ghost

“Her hair lifted as she stood still

Right there in the light And she felt like a dream

I didn't know what to think

She looked like me

We stood mirrored 'til I leaned in And then you know what she did

She shot at me like an earthbound bullet

And then she wrapped her hands around my neck and I felt love

Just ordinary love

Let me hold you in my arms

Oh, love, that familiar old drug”

I don’t think Ghost literally strangled her, but instead it’s more poetic symbolism.

In Angel on a Satellite, True sings “I swear that through your eyes everything is brighter all the time // ‘cause when I see me through your eyes I love me, so don’t leave my side // you always see the sky, angel on a satellite”

Ghost “sees the sky” by seeing and feeling love. She literally “looks up”. She’s optimistic, True isn’t. She can’t look up.

Another little detail I’ve noticed is how in Love Is Everywhere, I presume Ghost sings “Look inside through the sky all around us” in the same melody that True sings “Angel on a satellite, glad you found us” in “Feeling Diskinserted?”

I think that the album will end with True going to the cocoon and becoming her ACTUAL “Purest self”. If you spell “Imaginal Disk” with a “c” instead of a “k” at the end, it’s literally a part of a pupa. The Imaginal disc turns into portions of a bug’s exoskeleton after it emerges from its metamorphosis. So, on a literal level, the real Imaginal disk that changes you was THE COCOON ALL ALONG. Maybe the Doctor is doing a shady internet scam trick where you change the URL by one letter and pass it off.

The detail here is so interesting. Even down to their names True is literally her True self. She can’t be anyone else. It’s reality. Ghost on the other hand is like the Ghost of everything True wants to be.

I also noticed: The Doctor’s laughter from Fear, Sex plays in the bridge of Cry For Me. I bet we will get a music video for it. I wonder what is happening with the Ghost and aliens storyline.

Anyways, I have so much to say about this. I have more even than this. We are missing music videos so I will be back. I also have to talk about the alien observation plot, but that needs more pondering.

[saminsecret]

How the slashers would react to a male s/o

just a little something to jumpstart this page ❤️

tw for some mentions of homophobia/outdated views

Michael Myers ('78):

He wouldn't care. He's got a lot more on his plate than worrying about whether his partner has a dick or a vagina. The fact that he hasn't killed you yet should be enough for you.

He wouldn't understand your insecurities. Why does it matter so much to you? He thinks you focus on the wrong things, but he won't say that to you. Not because he cares if he hurts your feelings, he just doesn't want to deal with your emotional turmoil at the moment. Although, if someone were to criticize your relationship, he might get irritated enough to kill them. Depends on your reaction and his current mood at the moment. Michael isn't the best at emotional support, sorry.

He'd defend you after a while. Lets not beat around the bush, its the 70s/80s, your gonna experience a lot of homophobia if your openly gay/bi. Michael knows what it's like being tormented by others, he was in a mental institution his entire life. If you end up getting discriminated against, verbally or physically, he'd kill the bully, plain and simple. He doesn't see this as an act of affection though; just something he needed to do. Still, your heart swoons a bit when he protects you. Enjoy it Y/N!

Daniel Robitaille

He'd be...confused. Daniel grew up in the late 1800s, and while being gay wasn't unheard of, it was definitely seen as a sin. He never thought he himself could ever be in love with another man.

He'd need time. He wouldn't know what to do with himself as this was entirely new territory for him. Homophobia was most definitely a value he grew up around, although he himself might not be homophobic. He was the son of a slave, a black man in the 1800s, an artist only loved for what he could make. He understands discrimination more than anyone else, so he defiantly wouldn't use your identity against you. Still, its a change so he'd be cautious to start anything with you.

He loves you no matter what. Ultimately, it only takes him a little while to come to terms with the fact that he doesn't care what you are, he loves you all the same. "We are one of the same, Y/N. Without you, I am nothing. Our pain will be told for generations. Be my victim, Y/N."

Jason Vorhees

Is this okay, mother? Pamela was a christian woman, so its pretty likely she had some outdated views on gay people. Not necessarily homophobic in nature, but she said some questionable things out of ignorance. Jason was raised with her values, so he'd have the same outdated views. He'd have to unlearn a few things for this relationship to really work. That being said...

Jason understands you. This is what really brings you two into an eventual relationship. He was born disfigured, and the world never let him forget it. And you? Well, it was the 80s, so... both of you were treated harshly for things you have no control over. Pamela would be more sympathetic towards you as well, and would eventually approve of this relationship, as you've proven you can give Jason everything he deserves. "Oh Jason, I knew Y/N was a good boy, just like you!'

He'd adore you all the same. Oh, to have someone (other than Pamela) who loves him! He would ultimately not care about your gender, and would make sure to let you know it. He loves you Y/N, don't ever doubt it!

Brahms Heelshire

Realistically... You wouldn't have been considered for the babysitting job as Brahm's parents probably only considered female candidates. That being said, you'd be hired after a slew of failed female nannies; Brahms wanted to try something new!

He'd love watching you. Oh Y/N, you may be a boy, but you're the prettiest boy he's ever seen! Seriously though, he loves to watch you taking care of doll, cooking food, moving around the estate, existing...you're just so different, Y/N! And he'd feel more connected to you because you understand certain problems...especially morning problems if you catch my drift.

He'd fall into stereotypes. Listen listen, Brahms was raised with old values, like 18th century old values, so even though you're both guys, he still expects you to fall into the "woman" role (cooking, cleaning, taking care of him, ect..). Brahms is a man, Y/N! Treat him like a king! Wait, what do you mean you're a man too? I-Its different, okay?! (You're gonna have to sit him down and talk out all those old value views if you want to be able to tolerate him).

[eldstunga]

Hi! I really love your art! The lines are so bold but the colours so natural that it feels distinct but grounded?? I'm obsessed with the shapes in your work

I was wondering if you had any advice for drawing bodies? Whenever I try it either my proportions are off or an arm ends up looking like a calf or something.

First of all, thank you <3 That's so nice and I think "lines bold, colours natural" is some truly aspirational words to say about my art, I'll strive to be what you say I am <3 I do not, unfortunately, have any great tips on drawing bodies - it's a very wide topic and fundamentally just really bloody hard. I fail horribly 9 times out of 10. How to approach it I think varies a lot with like...HOW you are struggling, and who you are as a person. For proportions and anatomy there are definitely books to look at, and some rules of thumb that can help you - anything from "the shoulders are about 2.5-3 heads wide" through "feet are the same length as the forearm", "elbows are in line with the navel and the navel is two sternums down" etc etc. For me, realising just how big the ribcage actually is and learning how to use that as a unit of measure was a big event (the torso is about two ribcages long). Look at references, Draw over low opacity references and try to look for patterns that help YOU. Like... "Hm, do the shoulders line up with something useful?"

Having a good ref model to double check things helps too. The pen is pointing to about the bottom of the ribcage. But there's also stuff like maybe you're getting too hung up on construction and then it might help more to try to draw from references by ONLY blocking in a silhouette first. This helps me sometimes still:

Or you could be like me, struggle with all of the above and then some - like how to make poses look natural and/or dynamic? Weight distribution is a whole other topic.. gah, it never ends, but it's fun to learn.

Lastly, this took me way too long to realise and I think it should be said: Do not fret too much about STUDYING. The unfair thing is that the better you are at something, the better you will be at actually learning from doing studies and exercises or reading books. We accept this with many other disciplines and sports but rarely art. Mileage is king, and mileage is best gained from having fun and enjoying what you do. If you find studies suffering and frustrating you're probably better off just drawing what you enjoy and fuck it if it isn't "pushing your boundaries" or whatever. Eventually you'll get to the point where studies start to give more than they take, and then you're home free. I'm not gonna recommend a billion resources you likely won't enjoy but here are some things I genuinely found helpful lately: * a physical anatomy model, they're pricy and not necessary but being able to just look at it every now and then, turn it over etc helps. * The "Morpho" series of books, they do not teach anatomy, but they are very useful quick reference books and much more easily digested than most anatomy material. Just try to find a real anatomy book to read once your appetite is up as well.

The zig-zag/Lightning bolt method for arms and legs, fuckin' thing revolutionised how I sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCkmB030GpQ

Gottfried Bammes "The Complete guide to Anatomy for Artists and Illustrators" This thing is insane, it's from the 50's and like 600 pages long. You could absolutely kill someone with it, but a lot of the pages are more philosophical or art history you can skip and despite its age and fear factor this dude writes in a witty, clever and just wonderful way that I've seen nowhere else. Fantastic photos. By far, FAR the best anatomy book I've ever seen. It's not a book I'd recommend for someone starting out, I would not have been able to digest it like four years ago, but once you get to a certain point it's amazing.

That's a lot, uhhh, feel free to ask me for more specific tips this was a bit of a rant. Hope some of it was useful!

[ghostphobic]

╼ you’re in love

abby anderson x reader

cw - fluff , mutual pining , angst if you squint , slight infidelity 

a/n - goddddd it’s been ages since i’ve written any fic, but i was up at like 2 am last night listening to music on spotify and got hit with inspiration. it’s short and sweet, but it’s the first thing i’ve written in, im not even sure how long, that i dont absolutely hate. so enjoy !

Abby Anderson was your sure thing in a world where nothing was ever certain. She was something solid and steady; an anchor in the middle of a violent ocean. You were the same thing to her. You were her best friend and she was yours, and you were sure without her you'd be lost. 

Which is why you had decided to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when you see her. It's why you had decided to ignore the tightness in your chest when you see her with Owen. You wouldn't ruin your friendship with her over feelings you weren't even sure you understood. You wouldn't ruin her relationship with Owen either, because at the end of the day Owen made her happy. Her happiness always came before yours, you made sure of that. 

But you were grateful for the little moments when it was just the two of you. Rare nights when neither of you had anywhere to be, and the two of you could just enjoy each other's company before you went to sleep.

Tonight is one of those nights. 

Abby sits on the floor in front of your bed, a book in her lap, while you gently brush through the wet strands of her hair. She hasn't turned the pages in a few minutes and you're sure her eyes are probably closed. 

"Abs?" You say softly. "Come on let's get some sleep." 

She responds with a hum, closing her book and sitting it on the ground beside her so she can crawl into the bed beside you. There's a long, comfortable, stretch of silence once she settles in. Then, "Have you ever been in love?" 

Your heart speeds up at her question, not knowing how to answer. You clear your throat before you speak, knowing that it would crack otherwise. "Where did that come from?" 

She shrugs, "I'm just curious I guess." 

It's not just curiosity. She'd seen you earlier when you were in line grabbing dinner for the two of you, laughing at something the man behind you had said. It was clear he was flirting, and to her it seemed like you enjoyed it. The sight making her so sick she had to turn away. The same way she had felt sick and looked away any time you showed romantic interest to any person in the several long years you'd known her. She chalked it up to friendly jealousy. You were just important to her, and she didn't want to share you. That's all it was. Right? It didn't matter that Owen talking to girls had never made her feel that way. You were just... different. 

You look away from her, deciding that the loose thread on your blanket is much more interesting than her face. "I don't think so. I don't know. I guess I don't really know what loving someone like that would feel like." 

It's a lie. You know it's a lie. You're pretty sure the way you feel about Abby is love. Sure, you love her as your best friend. But it goes beyond friendly love. The way you feel about her is something you're not even sure you could put into words. You just feel it. You just know, as much as you wish you didn't. 

"What do you think it feels like?" 

You shrug, "I think it depends. If you're talking about being in love, I guess I believe everyone would define it differently. To me I think it's... a warm feeling. It feels like sunlight. It feels like butterflies in your stomach. It claws at your chest. It's euphoric but terrifying. It's terrifying because one singular person holds your heart in their hands. I think it's a feeling that people would kill for. A feeling people would die for." 

There's a another stretch of silence until you will yourself to look up at her. The expression on her face is unreadable, and you think you've made her uncomfortable. 

You haven't. Not in the slightest. You don't notice the way her breathing has sped up, or the way her face is flushed. You aren't aware that what you just said has terrified her. Terrified her because she doesn't feel that way about Owen. 

She feels that way about you.

"Abby?" You say, your voice just a whisper.

Her brows furrow and you think she's mad, but then she places a hand on your cheek and leans down to press her lips to yours. 

It shocks you at first, but then you're kissing her back. It's gentle and slow and it makes your heart pound against your chest in a way that you're sure can't be healthy. In this moment you've never been more sure that you're in love with her. She's never been more sure that she's in love with you. 

She pulls back just enough to press her forehead to yours. "That's exactly what it feels like." 

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hi RTA! I was thinking about somthing the other day, pertaining MM and Harry and all the lies they tell. I thought, since you are the rumour expert, you might tell me if I am way off the mark here.

I think the only reason MM and H have been able to go on this long with the attacks agaiinst W&C, the BRF and the British public for that matter, is that whole "never explain" thing the royals have. I mean, we can go and look at the evidence we may collect, hearsay, what we remember or what we think, and we can come up with our own conclussions, drop them here and talk ad nauseam about how horrible something is (usually somethig Just Harry and the desterate wife of Mntecito do). Still.. is just guessing, most of the time. Because even if we have evidence of certain things, many of those, and many of the importnat ones, are still in a cloud of "truth or not". And that happens because the other party involved -W&C/BRF- do not tell us. Sure, they send a ballon to a newspaper with an ally journo, let someone know that someone close heard something, and so on..but there is no actual answers.

Take Spare(me) for example. Bitchy Harry whined and whined and whined for 200+ pages about everything and everyone. Sure, some people came out and gave their versions. But how about all the crap he said about William? About his father?

One of the main targets for MM´s venomous crap has been Catherine. How about her side?

I know this may not make any sense, but I feel as if, as long as the BRF is quiet (I trully believe in the silent treatment, grey stoning and the long game) MM and H will keep hurting our inteligences with more and more crap, and no matter how much we royal followers analyse and discover and defend, I don´t think there is an end in sight for the Sussex lies as long as the most affected ones (besides my brain cells) have to remain silenced. And how much are MM and H counting on that mandatory stoic silence to keep annoying and attacking and being gigantic pains in the brain for everyone?

Sorry for the morning rant. Something I posted on another blog led to this rabbit hole.

Old ask from July 8th

We’re thinking the same thing. The BRF’s “never explain, never complain” is why the Sussexes have been so effective with their attacks…and also why the Sussexes’ attacks increasingly have no more punch.

On the one hand, “never explain, never complain” means that the Sussexes get to control the narrative and be victims of the big bad BRF. As we’ve seen, it’s been somewhat effective.

But on the other hand, “never explain, never complain” means the BRF doesn’t react to provocation in the media. Which means that for the Sussexes to get the BRF to react and respond to them, they have to keep escalating their attacks and when they escalate their attacks, they also change the story of what happened. And when they change the story, they end up showing their hand that it’s all smoke and they don’t actually have real issues or real criticism, that they’re just doing all this for attention - the Sussexes end up undermining themselves. And as we’ve also seen, this has been very effective.

But the problem is that Charles keeps sneaking around “never explain never complain” with trial balloons designed to gauge public support for bringing the Sussexes (or at least Harry) back into the fold, which helps the Sussexes portray themselves as winning.

As for the BRF’s side, history will tell their versions. William, Kate, and Charles will have biographies written for them by reputable, authorized, credentialed, and respected authors. It’ll take time. It’ll take a lot of time, time that a lot of us probably don’t have and may never see happen. Once those biographies and retrospectives come out, the narratives will reset and the Sussexes will become but a footnote.

Of course the challenge there is whether the narratives will be the Sussexes’ version or if it’ll be the actual, recorded history version. I suspect it will be the latter, as more people go on the record as time passes to fix the messes Harry and Meghan made, particularly if there’s a divorce and if Charles wants to rehabilitate Harry’s reputation to bring him back into the family (note: small f-family, which is the private/personal side of monarchy, not big F-Family, which is the official public working side of monarchy).

Because after all, time heals most wounds. And if time doesn’t fix these wounds, history will, because history is written by the victor and the crown always wins.

[holdupjack]

Smells Like Christmas

——————

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fem!Reader

AU: Slytherin Reader/No War Plot

WARNING: None

——————

Third Person P.O.V:

Spring, 6th Year

Hermione was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room when she saw a certain Slytherin pop into the room. She smiled softly as they dusted off their pants, but quickly hid it when their eyes connected. They make their way to her and smile while carrying an arm full of books.

"Hey, Hermione" Y/n says with a grin, as she takes the seat in front of the Gryffindor.

"Hello Y/n/n" she responded, as she focused her attention back on the book in front of her.

You know, Hermione really doesn't understand why Y/n was placed in Slytherin, she didn't act like the others-

"I think love is a lie"

Ah, never mind. There it is.

Hermione looked up from her book and gave a raised eyebrow in response. This was peculiar, Y/n was usually the one that romanticized everything.

"Why?" She asks, expecting her to say that she has been rejected by a love interest. Her stomach tightened at the thought alone.

"Because! There is no way to prove it's real" Y/n replied as she set down her books and opened up her Alchemy Assignment.

Hermione chuckled softly as she shut her book and grabbed the potions one beside her. Y/n waited patiently for the reason for her ominous laugh.

"True there is no way to prove it to you, but there is a way to see if you do like someone," Hermione says as she flips to the page she was looking for.

"Here" she states as she turns the book toward Y/n, who hummed softly.

"Amortentia? Really Hermione? We learned this in the fourth year." she groans, to which Hermione rolls her eyes in response.

"So? At least it proves you can love" Hermione mumbles with tease, Y/n laughs loudly.

She quickly covered her mouth as she looked over to the other Gryffindor Perfect in the corner. Ron sighed and shook his head at the two, usually Prefects kept the Common Room quiet, but he was in no way going against Hermione. She was the other Prefect anyway.

"Hey, I can love! I just don't think she likes me is all." Y/n replies as she begins to complete her assignment with a glaze of upset in her eyes.

Hermione nodded at the quiet confession that sounded like it came from a voice of anxiety than herself.

"Have you made the potion recently, just to be certain? " she asks and Y/n shakes her head while jotting down an answer on her paper.

"And why not?" Hermione asks as Y/n sighs softly, her hair moving slightly from the wind blowing in from the window nearby.

"Because, if I smelled her in the fourth year, I'd get the same results again. Nothing has changed," she replies as Hermione leans back and laughs quietly. Her eyes comb the Common Room, but is empty.

"What about you? Do you think yours will be the same as if was in the fourth year?" Y/n asks as she looks back up at the Gryffindor, who hums in thought before answering.

"Probably not, my eyes have fallen for others since then," she says with a small smile, to which Y/n chuckled in response.

"Wouldn't it be crazy if you smelled multiple people?" Y/n asks, causing Hermione to grin and gently kick her leg under the table.

"It will only be one. I'm not that indecisive." Hermione states as the Slytherin snickered to herself at the thought.

Hermione's head tilts slightly as she watches the witch calm herself down from all her giggles.

"Anyways, isn't weird that you know what they smell like because you love it so much?" Y/n then asks, which the Gryffindor shrugs at.

"Not really, you smell like Christmas. I like it." She states as Y/n raises an eyebrow with a smile to go along with it.

"Christmas? What am I? A walking hallmark card?" Y/n questions, causing Hermione to laugh softly at the similarities.

"Come on, do the potion with me! Now I'm tempted to see if I'll smell more than one person" She chuckles out, but Y/n just shrugs.

"Eh, maybe later?" she says as she gets more comfortable in the chair, letting her head lean against the backrest.

"Fine, if you won't do the potion, then I will" Hermione hums as she stands up. Y/n's eyes widened at the statement as she sat back up.

"How about we do a different one? Uh...we can make Ron drink the Ageing Potion!" she suggests, causing Hermione to raise her eyebrow at the idea.

"ALL OF IT!" Y/n claims. Hermione pinches the bridge of her nose.

"He'll be like a hundred and sixteen. What happens if he falls, breaks a hip, and dies?" She asked as Y/n fiddled with her Quill.

"We'll remember the virgin ginger fondly" she responds as a smile starts to break out onto her lips.

"Hey!' Ron yells from somewhere in the Gryffindor tower, making Y/n look around with paranoia.

"He's going to throw me out of the window" she whispers in a slight panic, to which Hermione shook her head and sighed.

"I'll be back" she hums as she walks toward the tunnel, opting to grab the supplies from the Potions Classroom.

"Don't leave me here!"

——————

Hermione returned later, huffing slightly from the shimmy she had to perform to get through the tunnel with everything. When she finally got back onto solid ground, she found the young Slytherin fast asleep in the chair.

At least Ron didn't 'throw her out the window'.

"God, she acts like I was gone for ages" Hermione whispers as she quietly begins to set up her cauldron on the table.

Her potions textbook was soon cast to float at eye level as she waited for the water(?) to boil. She took a seat back in her chair and stared at Y/n.

(A/N: Logically all potions should start with water...right? Or is there some special liquid that they use? Whatever, it's my Imagine so it's water.)

"I wonder what it'll smell like" Hermione hums, watching as Y/n's eyes darted under her eyelids like a pinball machine.

Hermione had always favored Y/n more than most of her friends. Finding any excuses to bring her along to functions or study sessions.

Finding ways to just be alone with her.

Yet, she didn't smell Y/n in her fourth year. She had found Ron's scent wafting into her nose.

So any inkling of interest she thought she had in the girl, quickly disappeared. It was showing her what her heart desired, so it must be true!

Of course, feelings for Ron were lost as time went on. Replaced with a brother/sister relationship more than anything.

The water was boiling when her attention was brought back from the void of her mind. A soft 'huff' left her lips as she stood up.

It didn't take long to make, but crushing up a pearl for its dust did take a few minutes.

She then threw in the Ashwinder Eggs, Rose Thorns, Peppermint Leaves, Powdered Moonstone, and Rose Petals.

Almost immediately a very familiar scent started to flow through her nose as she stirred her brew.

"Peppermint, cinnamon, and...pine trees" she whispers as she sniffs the concoction again.

"It's smells like..-"

A smile broke out on her lips, her suspicions now being confirmed as her eyes landed back on the woman before her.

"Christmas." She whispers as her eyes soften at the small movements Y/n made in her slumber.

"Hermione why are you so close to me?" Y/n grumbles with sleep in her voice, Hermione furrows her eyebrows at the question.

"I'm not" She replies as she tilts her head at the still shut-eyed Y/n.

"I can clearly smell you, you're right-" Y/n cuts herself off when she sits up to find Hermione standing in front of a pink smoking cauldron.

"Here...uh oh." She whispers as her gaze averts from the woman in front of her, down at the table.

It's quiet for a while as Hermione shut off the bunsen burner underneath the pot, and carefully placed everything out of the way from her line of sight of the Slytherin.

"So...do I smell nice?" Hermione asks as she sits back down, causing Y/n to snicker slightly and apprehensively look back at her.

"Yes, very nice. Like parchment and old book, and a little bit of coconut" Y/n replies as she gazes back down at the table, a soft breath gets caught in her throat when Hermione stands up and pulls her seat closer to Y/n.

She sat back down at the head of the table as the room filled their noses with the potion. Some would consider this too strong, but Hermione liked it. It was sort of like sitting next to a burning Yankee Candle.

"I told you, my favorite scent is Christmas." Hermione hums as she watches the gears turn in Y/n's head. Their eyes met and held no secrets between them.

"You knew, didn't you?" Y/n asks and Hermione shrugs but smiles kindly.

"No, not about your feelings. I had an idea about who I might smell, but I'm very happy to find out you feel the same." She replies quietly as a group of students walk into the Common Room loudly, before disappearing back up the stairs.

"So...what now?" Y/n asks as her face seems as red as Hermione's tie. The Gryffindor thought a moment and looked out the open window. The sun was setting soon, and the nightlife would be out and about for the Spring festival in Irondale.

"Will you accompany me to the festival? It starts soon." Hermione suggests as her eyes fall back onto an awestruck Y/n. Somewhere in the Slytherin's mind, she had thought the Lioness beauty would tell her to never speak of this.

Which sounded ridiculous knowing that she said she felt the same, but you never know.

"A-Alright, when should we meet?" Y/n asks as she clears her throat, watching as the setting sun turns Hermione eyes into a bright hot chocolate color.

"We'll meet outside the grounds, near the south entrance. Is seven o'clock alright?" Hermione asked as she helped Y/n gather her things from the table, their fingers brushing one another's as she passed her books or papers.

"Uh, of course! I'll see you then" Y/n replies as she stands up, whispering a quick goodbye as she tries to get herself ready as quickly as possible for, supposedly, a date with Hermione Granger.

"Y/n?" Hermione calls before the Slytherin begins to crawl through the tunnel. She turns back with intrigue as the Gryffindor tempted her back with a beckoning gesture with her index finger.

Y/n slowly walked back over as Hermione stood up and stared at her with a soft gaze.

"Yes?" Y/n asks as she gets close enough.

Hermione just smiled as she gently grasped the woman's chin and planted a soft kiss dangerously close to her mouth.

She noticed the blood that had rushed back into Y/n's cheeks as she began to back away, which encouraged Hermione to kiss the burning skin to unknowingly stake her claim.

"You flatter me with the color your skin makes due to my touch" Hermione hums quietly as Y/n stared at her with anticipation.

"I know you must drink the potion to become infatuated, but the pleasure my heart feels as the smell of you wafts into my lungs with every breath I take. It's intoxicating." She whispers as Y/n ghosted her lips over Hermione's.

"Hey! No making out in the Common Room!"

Y/n jumps back as Hermione rolls her eyes, looking up at the balcony to find Ron and Harry grinning like the brothers they acted as.

"You two are assholes, you know that?" Hermione asks as Y/n quietly whispers that she'll see her later and make her grand escape from the Gryffindor tower.

"Assholes? She must be really mad Harry! Hermione never cusses" Ron snickered as Harry shook his head and gave a small apologetic smile to his female companion down below.

"You're just jealous that I'm getting more action than you are" Hermione replies as she begins to pack up her things. Ron's joking attitude drops as Harry laughs loudly.

"Shut up Harry! I get as much action as you Mione!" Ron defends, but instead of backing off from her jab at him, she decides to go all in.

"Oh really? That's not what the girls are saying" Hermione replies. She huffed quietly as she carefully carried the cauldron toward the tunnel, deciding to sell off the batch to Hannah Abbot so she could sell bottles of it to their schoolmates.

Technically, her making the potion was against school rules. She won't tell if you don't.

"What are they saying?"

Hermione just left instead of answering, smiling triumphantly as her day ended beautifully.

She had a date with her gorgeous Slytherin, she was about to get a good amount of money for said date, and she got the last word against Ron.

This was something out of a fairytale.

"Hermione! What did they say!"

[euphoricsunflowers]

until my lips turn blue — jeon wonwoo

a/n: thank you to @etherealyoungk for inspiring the confidence and motivation i needed for this! and thank u to @pusoatbuwan for being the best thank u bestie :) i hope you all like it !!

word count: 6.8k

content: fem!reader, mafia au, non idol au, mafia boss!reader, hacker!wonwoo, seungcheol is a bit of a dick i’m so sorry this is not representative of him irl, bestie mingyu, random monsta x kihyun cameo bc i needed a random idol lol, angst, mentions of food, murder, weapons, and drugs to varying degrees.

summary: to thank you for your gracious efforts in tracking down an attacker, seventeen offers to repay your favor. you ask for a date with the cute one with glasses.

“so,” you say, gazing at the fresh scar on seungcheol’s cheek. it hasn’t had a chance or any time to fade yet and you can tell by the fire in the eyes of his men that this was recent, “what happened?”

it’s hard to remember how you exactly got wrapped up in this mess. seungcheol ‘invited’ you over to discuss a certain issue, something vague like ‘internal matters’, but it felt off from the get-go. something was wrong.

and, clearly, you can tell something is wrong now.

he heaves out a sigh, letting his head fall into his hands before pushing his hair out of his face, “i don’t even know,” he says, “all i know is that my underboss in currently in the hospital, lying to every single medical personnel about why he has stab wounds on his thigh.”

your eyes wander around the room and they find a picture of seungcheol with another person, smiling like they were friends. you’d learn later that was him. yoon jeonghan. the underboss.

there’s 11 other people in this room besides you and seungcheol, which adds up in relation to your current knowledge of seventeen’s higher-ups. contrary to the name, there's 13 of them that are considered the most important to the seventeen organization, including their boss.

Seungcheol eyes burn into you, but you hold your ground, “well, that is unfortunate. i do send him my best regards, and i hope he recovers well and quickly, but i suppose…” you look around at all of the others, as if to calculate in your head the best move, “i don’t know what it is you want from me.”

“if i may be blunt,” he says as a proposition, but it’s more like a question. you nod, “i don’t know either,” he admits, “i don’t know what i expect you to be able to do, much less be willing to do. what i do know though, is that you have a reputation of being able to track people down like a hawk.”

you don’t acknowledge the compliment. he shifts, almost uncomfortably.

“all i am currently requesting is your assistance in finding the one who attacked us. should you help us, we will compensate you in whatever means you see fit,” he says almost desperately, you can’t see it in his face but you feel it, “i want revenge. i need your help to get it.”

“you’ll make sure i get something out of it?”

he sighs, “i’ll see to it that you get whatever you want out of this.”

“what do you know?” when you ask, one of the 11 other men steps up, handing a folder to you.

he doesn’t bother introducing himself, but you know of him. he’s incredibly well known for being able to gather information. he probably knows the street you grew up on and the color of your socks right now off the top of his head. his name is joshua, you remember. you’ve heard someone call his name before.

“these are stills from the security footages of the compound. this here—” he points to a spot on the first paper in the folder, “— is our guy. right here, he gets into a car. i ran the license plate, and it’s registered this individual here.” he points again, this time to a mugshot in the next page. there’s a list of charged and convicted crimes next to the picture, “but i don’t think they’re the same person. they have different builds.”

you agree, soon focusing on the name of the individual the car belonged to, “i know this man.”

seungcheol perks up at the good news, “you do? from where?”

“he’s the director of financial operations at a company an associate of mine owns. he’s very powerful, but he’s also had accusations of corruption and funding violence for years,” you say, “he responds to me directly, actually. it shouldn’t be too hard to get the info out of him.”

“well then,” seunghcheol says, “my men will assist you in any way required for the operation. feel free to ask for their assistance,” and with that, he leaves the conference room.

“is there anything required of any of us for you to investigate, miss?” one of them says after a moment. he’s tall, has too pretty a face for this kind of business. he kinda looks like a puppy.

“no, i should be able to go from here,” you make eye contact with another one. he’s wearing glasses, the thin frames complimenting his face well. he doesn’t acknowledge you more than just the brief eye contact, looking away as soon as it happens, “i’ll call the director now.”

“go right ahead,” joshua says, and you pull your phone out and call him, putting it on speaker.

the phone rings several times. there’s an unplaced tension in the room, and you’re not sure who exactly here is bubbling with anger, but you reconcile it with the fact that these are not just associates. they’re friends. and their buddy is in the hospital.

right before the last ring ends before it’ll stop trying, he picks up.

“hello?” he says.

“director lee, hello, thank you for taking my call,” you say, feeling eyes on you from all over the room.

he responds, “ah yes, hello boss. it’s my pleasure. what can i do for you?”

“well, i was hoping you could inform me on something,” you say, relaxing more into the chair, “you see, i’ve been looking for an individual who was found driving your car last night in unknown territory. did you know about this?”

he pauses. you can tell it’s to come up with a lie on the spot, “no, in fact. i had just assumed my car was stolen. i was almost about to alert the police, but i’m sure you understand why i did not.”

“i understand, director. i need you to cooperate with me,” you say.

“yes, boss. what can I do for you?” he asks.

you take in a deep breath, saying, “for reasons i am unable to disclose, i believe this individual is after us. also, the most recent sighting of your car after it was found so far away is in our territory, at the diner down the street from headquarters,” you fake a pause to hopefully show some hesitancy. you were far too good at playing scared, “i am… nervous, director. this individual stole your car, could have obtained the weapons we keep near the peer, there’s no telling what they’re up to or who sent them.”

the all watch you make a dramatic voice as you play up any potential worries. that’s the only way he’ll talk.

“i understand, miss. may i speak openly?” his question makes them all look up, and you almost have to mute yourself to silence your victory.

“yes, director. tell me,” you say with a hidden smirk on your face.

he pauses, and you worry for a second that he’s going to chicken out, but he doesn’t, “i sent the individual. my car was never stolen.”

bingo.

you ask, “who is it?”

“i’ll send over the information after this call,” he says. there’s a smile on joshua’s face as you look up, both silently understanding the victory you just won, “i wanted to send a message to seventeen, but he must have been attacked because he sent me a voice recording shortly after coming into contact with one of the higher-ups. something about accidentally hurting one of them before he got a chance to say something.”

you ask, trying to prompt more out of him, “what were you trying to say to them?” you only ask because you know they’d want you to.

“i do not have the best relationship with their leader. the reason is unrelated to our purposes in our group. i apologize for stressing you, boss.”

you respond with a simple, “i see, thank you, director.”

“of course, miss, should i send you the information right away?” he asks.

“yes, as soon as possible. have a good day, director,” you say and hang up. you look up at them as your phone pings. you show the notification to joshua.

“that’s him,” he says, pulling out a still from his folder, matching them up side-by-side, “this is our guy.”

“i can find him, leave that to me,” you say, “as a favor to seventeen, i’ll take care of him. you will all owe me, though. both for that phone call and for getting my hands dirty.”

“don’t get cocky,” another one says. he’s short, but he’s got this energy that screams ‘fuck with me, i dare you’, “let me know when you get it done.” he hands you a piece of paper with a string of numbers on it. lee jihoon.

you smile, almost like a smirk, “okay.”

and out the room you go.

he’s dead by the morning. you tell jihoon, and get no response, he simply hangs up as soon as he gets the news.

—

the letter is addressed from all of seventeen, but based on the formality of word choice, none of them had a hand in writing it. it was probably written by some subordinate, but it gets a simple message across.

seventeen’s acknowledgement that you were owed a favor. the, in writing, paper that guaranteed you something in return. it felt like solid gold.

you spend some time thinking about what it is exactly that you would like from them. there’s not many limits. if you wanted someone dead, they’d have it done by sunset. if you want illegal weapons for your own plans, they would provide them easily. anything you want, they could do.

that was what was so nice about your relationship with seventeen: you may not get along as people, but you get along as business partners. there is no worry that you will be attacked in their headquarters, and vice versa.

but did you need illegal weapons? not really. your casino heist plans were being made smoothly, and there were not many materials you could have requested to make it any easier. you had access to everything you would need, and then some.

did you need anyone dead? not particularly right now. there’s nothing you need help with right now, aside from maybe needing help with throwing a surprise birthday party for your niece. that, though, was doable on its own.

and then, the idea dawns on you.

—

the letter you return back is, on the contrary, written by you. seungcheol knows it’s you, because he’s seen your handwriting. you state your pleasure with working with them. you thank them for their assistance, especially joshua’s, in finding the first piece of evidence.

the moment you are done with formalities, you don’t hesitate to describe, in extreme, excruciating detail, the favor you would like back from them.

‘a date with the cute one that wears glasses’

you ask for a date. you couldn’t remember his name at the time of writing, so you describe him as the ‘one with the glasses’. you describe exactly what you want: a fancy restaurant dinner, him dressed in a suit with styled hair away from his eyes and maybe some jewelry, definitely wearing his precious specs. you’d pay, he’d walk you to your car, and the second the door shut and you were being driven away, seventeen will have paid their favor back.

your letter even reads:

‘there are no ulterior motives. should the favor be paid back successfully, SEVENTEEN will not be bothered over this matter again. should the favor not be paid back in this way, an alternative favor will not be provided unless sufficient reason is given.”

seungcheol almost laughs when he sees the letter, as he’s the first to read it. he wonders if you’re even being serious. it’s probably the most ridiculous request he’s ever gotten, but he can’t come up with a single reason as to why you’d play a prank like this, so he comes to the conclusion that you’re most likely serious.

a copy of the letter is sent over to wonwoo, the one with the glasses, and he reads it probably fifty times. maybe fifty-one.

nothing has ever made him so embarrassed, that’s the issue. not a single mistake he’s ever made or being chastised for not being good enough at his job has had the same effect. he feels the way mingyu’s eyes bore into him, knowing that wonwoo told him all about how he thought you were pretty, and that if you weren’t 1) a boss and 2) literally terrifying to speak to, he’d be down bad.

he feels awkward and clumsy for sticking out, for being the one pushed into the spotlight. he doesn’t particularly want to be the center of attention, but here he is, in his boss’s office, surrounded by his closest associates. he feels weirdly small as he sinks into the chair.

“i know this is… unconventional, wonwoo,” seungcheol says to him, leaning against his desk, “but you need to do this. it’s only dinner and we can’t owe her for much longer.”

“i know,” he says.

seungcheol continues, “there isn’t much of a choice, as well, you know that right?”

wonwoo recognizes the fading scar on seungcheol’s cheek as seungcheol talks to him. he remembers the moment it happened.

this was more than just giving you what you wanted so you were even as groups, but about genuinely thanking you for such a deed. he remembers watching jeonghan get stabbed in the thigh to protect chan. he remembers all the blood, that horrified look on chan’s face. that guy must have known he was a dead man the second he hurt jeonghan, that could have been why he ran. seungcheol is protective of all of them, but especially him.

“i know, i’ll do it,” he says, “i’ll do whatever is required of me. you know that, boss.”

“i know you will, it’s just that…” seungcheol looks uneasy, shifting his eyes away, “i don’t want this to become a bigger thing. don’t develop feelings, don’t do anything to make her develop feelings. just don’t make this messy. and don’t make it my problem.”

“i won’t,” wonwoo is, even in the best case scenario, slightly overestimating himself. he knows that, yet he still lies (not exactly but that’s what it feels like) through his teeth, “this won't become a problem.”

“it better not, now go,” seungcheol orders, trying to make it sound harsh. it doesn’t, though, not to wonwoo. it sounds more like ‘don’t fuck this up for yourself’.

—

wonwoo reads your letter for the fifty-second time. this time, he’s closely checking your instructions on how you wanted him to dress. it’s a little bit weird, but he supposes you’re going somewhere fancy, and maybe he has to match.

he sighs dramatically, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.

why is he dressing up in a suit he never wears to come meet you, a literal mob boss that thought he was cute, at some restaurant he doesn’t even know exists, to have dinner with you and play along to make you happy but not enough for either of you to get too attached?

what does he even think he’s doing?

he has literally killed people before, but that was so much simpler than this. slicing someone’s throat is so much less complicated than picking out a tie to wear to your date. everything down to asking him to wear a little bit of gold jewelry— gold, not silver— was complicated. he doesn’t understand this at all.

he’s somewhat horrified that this will go wrong, but if he thinks about it as only ‘a pretty girl asked him on a date’ and forgets all the context, he can breathe slower.

He leaves the compound with mingyu to act as a body guard, and then to sit at the bar area during your date to be there in case something happened. mingyu had told him he had no plans of interrupting anything in case the date goes a little too well, but he did want to be there in case something worse happened and wonwoo wasn’t able to fight on his own.

mingyu enters before him, actually. wonwoo waits by the entrance, just as your letter requests, and he almost wonders for a second if this was all just an elaborate ploy of yours, something just to waste time as you’re comfortably doing whatever mob boss stuff you normally do.

that is until you’re in front of him, in the most stunning sapphire dress he’s ever seen in his life, and he sees why you requested a navy suit on him. you both match perfectly, and he can help but blush like a freaking anime girl when you walk in together. you’re so breathtaking, the kind that could kill.

you had made reservations apparently, and all he could do is watch and follow along cluelessly as you’re taken to the table, and you both sit down.

you take in a breath, and then really look into his eyes. you don’t say anything for a moment, so he tries to start.

“hey,” he says, a little bit breathless, “you look gorgeous, by the way.”

“oh, you don’t have to flatter me, dear. that’s not required of you,” you laugh, and god, it is so beautiful. he could faint right now.

he forgot, honestly, that he didn’t have to impress you. he berated himself for a second when he realizes that he complimented you of his own volition, because he wanted to. that was bad.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to act so nervous. i don’t have any intentions to hurt you,” you say, reaching out for his hand. his hand tremors really had to come at the worst times. your hand is so warm (and he’s such a cold person, he could get used to warm hands holding his cold ones), “is this where you start wondering why i asked you to come on date with me?”

“i’ve been wondering since i read the letter,” he responds. he’s fidgeting, nervous. you have such an intense stare that’s hard to match.

“i’m sure you have,” you say, “if i’m being honest, it didn’t feel like there was much i wanted to ask for. everything is alright— knock on wood— for the moment with me. and i,” you pause, and it catches his attention even more, “i wanted something like this. something normal.”

“i take it… mafia life isn’t really for you, huh?” he half-asks.

“i suppose it’s not too bad of a fit, actually. i think the heists and gambling and money-laundering isn’t too bad. that kind of stuff has been my whole life, so it’s kinda fun to me,” you say, “but it prevents you from living simply. there is no family, there’s no relationships, no house on the hill. i feel like i’m missing out on that aspect of life.”

“yeah, you’re right. i suppose it is sad,” he says. he’s not sure what else to say.

you just continue, “and i just… i wanted to experience something different tonight. maybe i shouldn’t have involved you in my attempt to feel that, or at least didn’t force you to be here.”

“i’m not forced to be here,” he says, even if it’s honestly not very true, “i think i want to be here, too. i’ll experience it with you.”

you smile, and this time it’s softer than he’s ever seen. he can’t seem to remember why your presence was so intimidating before, because in this moment, you are nothing but warm and inviting, “okay, then. it’s settled. let’s have a beautiful night.”

it was cheesy, sure, but it made his heart flutter all the same.

he sees mingyu out of the corner of his eye. he’s sitting at the bar, making small talk with the bartender. wonwoo and mingyu make eye contact, and it’s almost like a series of questions: ‘how is it going? are you alright? do you need me to step in?’

and wonwoo gives a small smile back at him, as if to say ‘i think i’m okay’.

he looks back at you, as you give your order to the server. he doesn’t see someone evil or done anything that is commonplace for his and your kind of life. he just sees you: someone aching for something different. something soft and sweet and normal.

dinner with him flies by, filled with pretty conversations about each other’s lives. you both skirt around conversations about your groups, instead choosing to focus on yourselves. he learn about your hobbies and passions, you learn about his friends and what he likes to do in his free time.

you tell him about the time you were robbing a bank when you were younger. maybe 17. you tell him about the restaurant that’s a front for high-up associates that you used to go to when you were younger. you tell him about how your dad’s assasination put you in the boss spot when you were 19 and stupid and too young for that kind of power. it went to your head and has barely worn off since.

he tells you about how mingyu and him have saved each other’s asses maybe 500 times each. he tells you about how he likes computer games, that if he was given a second shot at life, he’d be a pro-gamer for sure. he tells you about his cat, ranting about how cute it is (and he looks adorable doing it).

wonwoo realizes what’s happening while it’s happening; he’s not dumb or oblivious. he realizes that with every smile, every laugh, every time you get passionate about what you’re talking about and make these dramatic hand movements, and every time you unconsciously make that cute thinking face, he’s falling for you more and more.

and yet he doesn’t have it in himself to pull back; instead, he chooses to lean in. he smiles when you smile, laughs when you laughs, plays along when you tell him overly dramatic stories. he’s so mesmerized that he doesn’t notice the passage of time, how late it’s getting.

what he does notice is you reaching to grab the bill that was dropped off by the server. he snatches it before you can, and quickly puts the money in, catching the server’s attention and asking them to take it now.

you make a upset face at him, but it doesn’t hurt him in the slightest, “my treat.” he says simply.

“i was supposed to pay! you didn’t have to do that!” you argue, and he looks at you with a kind of vulnerability that is so raw, it’s almost infuriating.

“i wanted to. for you.”

you stand, so he stands too. you turn to walk away, but he grasps your wrist at the last second. he thinks you’re about to storm off, mad or something. why were you mad at him? he was trying to do something nice for you!

it’s until you groan and turn back around, getting so so close to him that the rest of the word fades out of view. for a moment it’s just like that. there’s no one else in the world except for you and him.

you’re looking into his eyes, reaching your hand up to lightly cup his cheek, letting your finger drag against his jaw, “can i?” you ask. you don’t even need to say it.

“yeah,” he breathes, shakily, “do whatever you want.”

you kiss him while his stomach does somersaults. his hands find your waist, letting you lead, and, funnily enough, only once he starts to relax, you’re pulling away.

“we should get out of here,” you say, and his heart rate picks up, which you seem to notice (his own heart betrayed him), “we don’t have to do anything, but it’s so loud and energetic in here. i want some peace and quiet.”

he couldn’t agree more. you both walk outside, and he shoots mingyu one last ‘i’m okay’ look, seeing the smirk on his friend’s face may annoy him, but he’s too happy to care.

once you reach your car, you pull him close. his hands rest on the same spot as before, gently on your waist. you ask him, “can i kiss you again?”

“yes,” he whispers back. something about asking the second time feels sweeter, “kiss me a little harder this time, please.”

you smile at his request, gently pressing your lips to his before you grasp the back of his neck to use as leverage when your kiss becomes more intense, giving him what he wants. he’ll always get what he wants now, you suppose. anything he asks for, you’ll give him.

you don’t pull away as fast this time, instead letting him savor the moment.

but you eventually do, pulling back to look at him. he’s so pretty in the moonlight.

“i don’t want this to end,” he says. you smile almost sadly at him.

“i’m sorry, baby, i wish it didn’t have to end so soon, but our agreement was only dinner,” you say, “and you need to go back. our night together has been fun, but this is it. we were only given tonight.”

“i don’t want to go back yet, i don’t want to leave you,” he whispers painfully. god, it was so easy to get comfortable in his arms.

you see that sadness in his eyes, the kind that kills any chance of ever getting over him, “i know, i know, i’m sorry. i didn’t think we would get so close so fast,” you can feel the shaking of his hands even as they rest steady on your hips, “when i asked for a date, i thought it would be a night that would end with no hard feelings about never seeing each other again.”

“well, look where that got us,” he makes himself chuckle, though it’s not out of actual humor.

there’s a pause where neither of you dare to make the next move. there’s a sinking feeling that one of these next kisses will be the last.

“i’ll tell you what: i’ll kiss you until my lips turn blue, so you can never forget what it feels like. not even if you tried,” you say, moving your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself.

“okay,” he responds, “don’t let me forget. don’t ever let me.”

“you know i won’t,” you say, and your kisses are so passionate that for a second, he forgets that he’s jeon wonwoo, seventeen’s best hacker and technology expert, and only knows that he’s yours.

and for you, he’s so sweet, so kind and giving and reciprocative, kissing you back with just as much energy, it’s just as easy to get lost in him.

you stay there for as long as the night will allow, kissing him with feverish intensity, before you really have to send him on his way.

his eyes have that tragic look to them, like he’s sad in such a complicated way. it was never supposed to end like this, with him walking away from you as you get into your car, but the more he thinks about it, he’s wrong.

it was supposed to end like this. with him and you separated.

when he returns, he knows he probably shouldn’t, that he should lie and say it went well (but not too well) and this will not cause future problems, but he tells seungcheol afterwards that he 100% fucked this up for himself. he’s really, really into you.

his boss isn’t surprised.

—

it’s been two months— not exactly, maybe a month and three weeks or so, but close enough— since that night. not a word from seventeen, nor from wonwoo. it’s hard to not wonder what happened between him and his boss as soon as he returned, if he saw those feelings written out all over his associate’s face, or if it was the lipstick stain on his lips that gave it away.

in your world, nothing had changed (except for maybe everything about your soul). nothing about your mob boss life had been altered. seventeen never spoke a word about the favor, not to you or anyone else. even though word travels fast and very easily, it never got back to you that anyone besides you and seventeen knew about it.

maybe it’s a good thing that you haven’t seen or heard from him, that you probably never will again, but him having that much control over you is dangerous because you’re sure that seungcheol knows. he knows wonwoo likes you, he knows you like wonwoo, and everything in between. he has so much power that it’s incomprehensible what he could manipulate you into doing. he probably knows that. he revels in it.

so you made the point to not reach out, knowing there’d be a trade off next time. you assume that’s why it’s radio silence on his end too.

it only hurts a little bit.

—

the news hits you as you’re sitting in your office, drinking your coffee as an associate is detailing all possible back up plans for the casino heist planned for next week.

“hold on one minute,” you say to them, and they immediately shut up, letting you take a call that had come in as they were talking, “yes, kihyun? why are you calling? i thought i told you not to call my personal phone.”

he seems anxious on the other end, which is not pleasant to hear, “i tried, boss, but you weren’t answering. and i know i wasn’t supposed to, but i assumed you would want to hear the news as soon as possible.”

“what news?”

“jeon wonwoo of seventeen went missing three days ago. not even his own associates know where he is or if he’s even alive,” he says, and his words, especially the last few, hit particularly hard.

he’s not dead, right? he can’t be dead.

“i… see. thank you, kihyun,” you say.

“i’m here if you need anything, boss,” he says, but you don’t respond, only hanging up the phone and closing your eyes.

you remember there’s still someone else in the room, so you shoo them out, “we’ll go over these plans tomorrow,” you say, as if to tell them to go away. they catch on.

and you’re suddenly all alone in your office, with nothing but the thought of wonwoo being dead to occupy your thoughts. seventeen had enemies, of course they did, but why wonwoo of all of them? why was he the target? it was just impossible to rationalize why someone would choose him to be the one to take out. what would even be the motive?

it doesn’t seem real, the idea that he could be dead, even though it’s technically possible.

the idea dawns on you that maybe it was someone in his own group, maybe even the whole fucking mafia collectively decided to take him out.

and maybe it was because of you. the idea makes your stomach sick.

it’s impossible to know for sure, and you can’t spend your day getting lost in maybe or possibly. you assume the worst, that he’s probably dead, and give yourself a moment to grieve.

and then it’s back to work.

—

it’s late, so late it’s almost early again, at your residence. the sound of rain is constant and almost soothing as you drink your tea, giving a sense of peace and calm to your night. looking over documents from the casino, everything seems to be in order. last minute preparations for tomorrow are going smoothly, and all that needs to happen now is sleep before the big day.

there’s a ring at your doorbell. so, there goes a peaceful couple hours of sleep.

no one should know that this place exists or that you live here. this place was secret for your own safety and the fact that someone is here, ringing your doorbell at three in the morning is a terrible sign.

you grab the gun you keep under your coffee table as you approach the door. there’s no way to check who it was without letting them know you were there, you just had to open it.

“i’m so sorry i’m here right now!” you hear, barely able to make out the baritone voice over the heavy rain, “i’m sorry i didn’t say anything after that night, i was ordered to not contact you on my own! i’m sorry i’m here, bothering you at your house, but it was the only place i could go!”

when you open the door, the rain covers his frames, concealing his eyes, but it’s him.

not a single thought of ‘how the fuck did you get my address?’ or ‘why did you disappear?’ is more important than him at that moment. you open the screen door and yank him inside, tossing the gun somewhere onto the floor of your kitchen. you rush to grab him a towel, because he’s shivering and freezing and that’s scaring both of you.

you’re borderline yelling at him as you scold him for showing up, especially at this hour, “what were you even thinking? you could have gotten hypothermia! you could exposed this place to people who want me dead! you could have gotten us both killed!”

and yet all he could do is look at you with those beautiful, lovestruck eyes, “i’m so sorry,” he says with a smile.

you hug him, wet clothes and teary eyes and all, crouching down on the floor to meet where he is, curled up in a ball, covering himself up with that towel. he looks so small like this.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers again.

“don’t be, i’m glad you’re alive,” you whisper back, tightening your grip on him as if he’d whither away and disappear if you didn’t.

“i missed you, every single day i thought about you,” he mumbles into your shoulder.

“i did too,” you say, “what happened? why did you disappear? when did this become the only place you could go?”

“i-um,” he starts, hesitant and quietly, “i got into a fight with seungcheol. i told him i didn’t want to live like this anymore, and he said he’d… cut off my head if i ever left.”

“but you still left?”

“i had to, i was so unhappy that it was killing me,” he says with more confidence, still holding onto you like you’re his lifeline, “and, god, i’m so into you that it hurt so bad to never talk to you again. how the hell was i supposed to move on?”

“so what happened after you left? where did you go?”

“mingyu told me i could crash on the couch at his place out of town while i tried to find you, but seungcheol beat that information out of him,” he pulls away just a bit to look at you while he speaks, still holding on for what feels like dear life, “i found this place about a week ago, but it wasn’t until i was literally running for my life that i felt there was nowhere else i could go.”

his stomach rumbles, so you ignore his words for the present and ask, “oh my god, when’s the last time you ate? no, don’t even answer me, i’m making you ramen.”

“it’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“don’t say another word, unless it’s to tell me you’re dying. you’re going to go take a nice, warm shower, and then eat some ramen before we even think about what to do about you going forward,” you cut him off, but your scolding tone is so filled with love and care that he doesn’t mind.

he showers, finally feeling the relief of warm water. he always hated being cold in any capacity, much less freezing to death.

he changes into the clothes you give him: an oversized crewneck and some sweatpants. when he walks back into the kitchen, where you are, he pulls the sleeves as far as they’ll go, giving himself cute little sweater paws.

he’s so adorable, so easy to fall for.

you place a bowl of ramen in front of a seat at the kitchen counter, “eat up, baby.”

baby. he could get used to being called something like that. easy. he sits at the counter, eating like a madman once he realizes how hungry he truly is.

you watch him tenderly, all the adrenaline having faded out and now he’s just here. what are you even gonna do with him? you can’t just kick him out, he’ll get found immediately. so long as no one else finds out about this place, you’re both safe.

he can’t return to seventeen, though. maybe that thought has sunken in for him too, because when he looks up at you and smiles when he sees you looking at him, he’s not smiling like how he did last time you saw him. his smile is smaller and more forced.

all his friends he left behind, all his past he left behind, and that comfortable life he left behind, all to be here, with you.

“what now?” you ask, and the depth of the question is not absent in his mind. he knows what you mean.

he frowns, playing with his chopsticks, “i… i don’t know. i can’t go back, but i’m unsure how to move forward.”

“do you want to give up this life completely? just start fresh?”

“i don’t think so. it’s all i know, all i feel competent at, and if i’m being honest, i don’t mind it. i just need something more,” he says with a chuckle, “i don’t think i could live a life of white picket fences and nuclear families.”

“then,” you say, sitting at the spot next to him at the counter, “consider joining me. i can’t give you a top position, but you can continue your work as a hacker under my group. as much as i want to give you choice, i'm gonna be honest with you: that’s your only good option.”

“i know,” he says.

it hurts a little bit, and he knows what you’re gonna say before you say it, “and i'm sorry i have to say it out loud, but… this will provide you protection against seventeen.”

which is the most miserable thing to think about: his own friends coming to kill him. he’s a traitor now, though. he knows he’s dead to seungcheol. it hurts him somewhere deep in his chest every time he thinks about it.

“okay,” he says, somewhat dully, “i guess i don’t have much of a choice.”

“it’s not that you don’t have a choice in the matter, but you only have one good one,” you say, matter-of-factly, “you won’t be safe anywhere else-”

“i’m sorry,” he says suddenly, and it’s heartbreaking how he just can’t stop saying it, “i’m just so sorry. i put you and mingyu in danger just so i could have a chance to escape. he even let me stay on his couch and then got hurt because of my selfishness.”

“it’s not fair to you to judge yourself so harshly like that. mingyu did that because he wanted to, for you. you couldn’t stop whatever hell came after,” you say, comfortingly, “it’s better to be selfish than unhappy. if mingyu knew you were safe with me, he’d see his efforts as worthwhile.”

“and what about you?” he asks.

“what about me?”

“i put you in danger,” he says.

“wonwoo, i’m a mob boss. and a woman one at that. i’m always in danger,” you say, “it’s nothing new.”

“but-”

“stop talking,” you order, and he complies. you sigh, “it’s not worth it to think about all the things you did wrong. where you are now is where you are; there’s no changing that.”

“i’m sorry,” he laughs breathlessly, “can you just kiss me if you need to shut me up?”

you look into his eyes once again, seeing nothing but beauty and honesty in them. your hand reaches to tilt his chin up as you lean in for a kiss, and all the passion of that night comes back in full force, except with so much more vulnerability and tenderness.

but he pulls away this time.

why is he about to cry?

he answers the question for you, “i’m sorry, i uhm- i’m sorry,” he whispers, his apologies stabbing you incessantly, “nothings wrong. i’m just… so happy. i’m so happy we ended up like this. nothing compares to you.”

i’m so happy we got the happy ending (somewhat).

tomorrow (well, more like later today. in a few hours) he’ll be jeon wonwoo, the best hacker in the area, known for being able to hack into power grids and major international banks. maybe he’ll be there with you, keeping track of the operation, taking down security cameras or disrupting communications.

but for tonight, he’s simply wonwoo. he holds you like he doesn’t want anything else from this life.

nothing compares to this.

[benevolent-yoon]

CUT from the Same Cloth [Series] Ch. 2

☆theme: Hybrid/Supernatural!AU

♡pairing: wolf!Hyunjin & leopard!Reader (Gray Wolf & Snow Leopard)

✧genre: Romance/Angst/Slight!Thriller

⚠︎warnings: |Death/Suicide/Religion/Cult|

❀summary: Hyunjin could never put his finger on it or describe the feeling perfectly, but something always felt off with his life… A little different from the rest of his clan, he manages to find solace with you. But the more he learns, the more he realizes who his family really is…

✑word count: 3.9k Author's Note: So I had Ch. 1 and 2 already half written beforehand, which is why they are only 2 days apart. Ch. 3 will probably take me a week to upload but that's because I am slow and quadruple check everything that I write just to make sure it makes sense.

[TITLE PAGE]

|Chapter 2| The Boy in the Cold

Thoughts of the mysterious wolf boy swarmed your mind after meeting him, it was as if memories were restored… You think that the first time you sensed him was a couple of years ago when you went swimming in the lake one summer. You remember trying to catch a fish, but it swam past the treaty line, so you got out the lake and waited… Once it was swum back on your side you pounced and caught it with ease. In that moment, you sensed someone watching you, not in alertness but in awe.

You suddenly remembered when the first time you went over to try and investigate Dahlia Mountain. You only got a couple meters off your own territory before seeing the graveyard. When you smelled the area, you could tell no one had been there in years, and yet it didn’t make this ominous feeling go away. So you ran back towards your treehouse, at the time not realizing the danger you sensed was a pack on its way back from hunting. Unbeknownst to you, a certain wolf in the pack was aware of your presence and was silent about it.

Another memory that came to light was when you were collecting fallen sticks in the woods last winter, making huge piles across the land as it was another punishment; to collect firewood for the whole clan. You sensed some wolves not too far from you but didn’t pay them any mind knowing you were on your side of the land, until they started getting closer. You could hear them play fighting and wrestling, and once realized they weren’t aware of their own surrounding you became immediately aware of your own. You climbed up the nearest tree and hid, watching the three of them still wrestle until they were close to the treaty line, which seemed to knock some sense into them. As they came to and decided to head back home, all of them could smell you but only one saw you hidden in the tree, making eye contact before leaving you be.

You’re most vivid memory was a couple of months ago, you remembered it clearly because your family was choosing to let you starve that night. You had gotten into a big argument, one that brought you to tears and made you run off into the woods. Running off was common for you, you knew your side of the woods like the back of your hand. You headed for your treehouse, far enough from your family, but still safe on the territory, right before the treaty line. As you’re just about to climb up your tree you stop at the smell of food. And you notice on a stump, within your eyeline there was raw veal; fresh... You smelled it earlier but paid it no mind because you could’ve sworn there was another presence here. Just right before you arrived. Assuming first comes first serve; you didn’t expect anything at all. And yet, there was a literal chunk of veal just waiting… So you grabbed it with a little hesitation then ran to the well to clean it. Afterwards, you cooked half of it then stored the other half in an ice bucket back in your treehouse.

Surprisingly lady luck played in your favor because it was only 3 weeks later until you saw the boy face-to-face again.

It was around midnight, and you were sleeping in your tree house again, not that you minded it though. But you heard growls, and sensed something was wrong. You jumped out of your treehouse and ran towards the sound, then when you got close enough to the treaty line, you saw the wolves fighting. You climbed up the tree to hide yourself and to keep yourself safe just in case they saw you. 

That’s when you saw him, the mysterious boy who’d been looking out for you. He was fighting a shorter but stronger curly haired man. Why is he fighting an alpha? You wondered. You see him get thrown to the side and you think the fight’s over, but the moment the alpha’s back is turned he pounces for a sneak attack. 

“Hyunjin stop!” You hear one of them shout. 

You see Hyunjin on top but that switches in two seconds, with the older male overpowering him then smashing him into the snow. 

“Chan he’s had enough!” Another one calls.

“Stay down!” You heard Chan growl loudly at the boy then walked away with the rest of the pack followed.

It took a couple of minutes before you felt their presence was far enough for you to make a move. You jumped down and ran towards the boy still on the ground, but he pounced onto you before you could get close enough. He growled with his sharp teeth bared in your face. But the moment he realized it was you he stopped.

It’s her… IT’S HER. “I didn’t... realize it was you.” He barely came to.

You two were very close, you saw scratches all over his face, a little bit of fresh and dried blood mixed together and his left eye was bloodshot.

“Are you okay?” You asked worried, instinctively you cupped his cheek.

She cares, and she’s here. He was shocked to say the least, “Why?” He looked confused, his eyes still watery and he was bleeding in various places, on his face, his arm, his legs.

You brushed his hair out of his face looking at the scars on his face to see how deep they were. “Does it hurt badly?” 

Where did she even come from? We’re nowhere near the lake, or the well. Why is she here?

Hyunjin did not expect to see you, at all. In fact, he didn’t expect anything other than abandonment. He was so afraid of going back home, he figured he'd stay in the woods and make a shelter until tomorrow, weeping over his own actions, over their words. And yet, here he was hovering over you.

I can’t believe I just tried to maul her. That fight... wasn’t supposed to happen… that was probably the worst fight I’ve ever had, and it was with Chan... It wasn’t supposed to go that far… I didn’t think I’d get caught... And I definitely didn’t think the elders would rip into Chan like that... 

“You really think that minx cares about you!? Is she going to feed you!? Shelter you!? Care for you like we do!? Like we’ve BEEN doing!?”

Honestly Hyunjin did not feel like breaking down the logistical effects from the situation he just caused, so luckily your voice snapped him out of the thoughts he was drowning in.

“Hyunjin?” You saw his eyes refocus on you.

“How do you know my name?” He asked quickly. 

“I saw the last part of the fight.” You admitted. “Are you okay?”

“You’re here.” He said blankly.

What’s wrong with him? You thought. It’s as if he’s reprocessing this information. His eyes looked slightly empty, slightly surprised and yet sad all at the same time. He’s stressed. He has to be, his thoughts seem too erratic, and he can’t seem to focus on what I’m saying.

“Hyunjin-”

“How are you here? What are you doing here? You can’t be here. If they find you-”

“Hyunjin stop.” You said firmly. He froze up. “Calm down. Breathe.” You held his face. “Focus on me and breathe.” He slowed down, he was listening. He finally started calming down. “We’re safe-”

Wrong. 

That was the wrong thing to say, and you realized it quickly. Hyunjin’s heart started racing again.  “No, we’re not.” It was starting back up again. “We’re just l-lying in the snow and they could be watching-”

“Okay, okay, okay.” You cut him off strongly.You could tell he wasn’t going to listen unless he felt safe. “Get up.” You barked, he listened and helped you up as well. “Follow me.” 

“W-Where are we going?” Hyunjin asked, shaking. It was a mixture of the cold temperature, the adrenaline rush and anxiety. 

“Somewhere safe, and close.” You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Trust me, please.” 

He was reluctant for a second. “Okay.”

“Let’s go.”

You ran back to your side of the woods with Hyunjin trailing closely behind you, you sped up with the icy wind hitting your face. Hyunjin was desperately trying not to slow down even though he was in pain, his fear of getting caught helped him keep his pace up. Within a couple of minutes, you were both back at your tree house. 

“Wait here.” You said to him and quickly climbed up to the tree. 

“What am I doing?” He whispered to himself. 

You threw the ladder down for him and he climbed up. Hyunjin was beyond confused, the tree house was more the size of a master bedroom. When he entered, he saw a large futon in the far corner of the area. The place was nicely decorated, hand painted floral designs on the walls, there was a floor table with pillows; various items scattered across it. A mini fridge, a small grill, a heater, a generator and a dresser.

“Do you live here?” He asked. 

“Technically no, but this place is mine. I come here when my family and I have issues, which you could probably tell... is often.” You said sitting on your futon, you pat by your side indicating him to sit next to you and he did. “You don’t have to worry, it’s too far for any of my kind to care about. They avoid the edges of the territory, and most of my kind leave the moment they become adults, so there aren’t a lot of us here anyways.”

“Thank you.” He sighed deeply, finally letting his shoulders rest and leaning his head back.

He still couldn’t believe he was here, with you; it was all kind of feeling like a fever dream to him. He closed his eyes to collect himself, but thoughts were still swarming. He heard you moving around and when he opened his eyes you were walking towards him with a bottle of water. 

“It’s no problem, drink this.” You instructed.

“I realized I never got your name.”

“Oh yea.” You decided to properly introduce yourself. “How are you feeling?” You asked afterwards.

He blankly stared. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” You could tell he was going through it and held his hand. “Let me patch you up?”

He nodded and as you got up, he laid down. “How’d you find me?” He asked.

“I heard the fighting from here.”

“So you ran towards it?” 

You chuckled. “Only cause I had a feeling you were involved so… I wanted to check on you.” 

She cares…… No… No, she doesn’t… She can’t...

Hyunjin didn’t want to indulge in his actions, but he couldn’t help it. It was as if God himself was blessing him, he couldn’t believe you were here with him. He had gotten into so much trouble because of his interest in you. He was told his efforts on you were a waste, and at one point believed it himself. And yet here you were…

“What you did... wasn't safe. You can’t be on my territory-”

“But you can be on mine?” You retaliated, kneeling down next to him. You had an array of medical supplies, as the treehouse was more of a healing space than anything. Your family being the main cause of that. 

He smiled; you were able to make him feel warm. “My kind… aren’t the nicest, I had to learn that the hard way.” He looked the other way, a little embarrassed, when you were too close.

“You don’t have to explain it to me.” You said letting silence fall. You grabbed the antiseptic cleaner and slowly worked on his face, he hissed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“What do you think they would do to me if they found me?” You asked to start the conversation back up.

“They’d most likely scare you, and then demand compensation from your tribe.”

“Fun.” You sarcastically sang. 

“This place is nice...” Hyunjin said, looking around your treehouse. 

“Thanks, think of it as a healing center.” You said finishing his face up with a cream and a couple of band aids. You threw away all the leftover wrappers and used tissues. Then he sat up and pulled his slightly torn sweater off. “Lay back.” You instructed and he followed. You felt his eyes boring into you the entire time, when you kneeled back down you asked. “You’ve been staring at me for a while, any reason why?”

“I’m infatuated with you...” He admitted, his starry eyes burned through your soul. It didn’t help that he was cute. His hand stopped yours from working on him, trying to grab your attention.

“I’m honored.” You said slightly blushing. 

“I feel like I should explain my situation to you.” He started, grabbing your other hand as well.

“You don’t-”

“I do, because it has to do with you. And I want to apologize.” He gently squeezed both your hands.

“Huh?” You tilted your head; you were confused. 

Hyunjin wasn't sure if he felt like he was going crazy or if you were secretly a witch because he couldn't get you out of his mind. He need to figure out how in the world he was going to see you again. He was currently sitting in his room sketching a picture of you, it didn't look very good, and he'd been working on it for days, erasing and redrawing over and over. It just never looked right to him. “What the hell is this!?” Jisung snuck up on him, not realizing he left his door wide open. “Nothing!” Hyunjin hid his book. “Bullshit! You’ve been hiding something since that night we got into it.”  “Mind your business.” Hyunjin warned.  Jisung chuckled. “I wonder if Chan knows you’re up to something.” “I’m not up to anything.” 

“Then why are you so defensive?” “Why are you so up my ass?” Hyunjin hissed.  They were being so loud Minho felt the need to intervene from the living room. “What’s going on?” Minho asked, walking up and eyeing both the boys.  “Nothing.” Hyunjin said in a soft tone, which made him even more suspicious.  “Hyunjin-” “It’s nothing I swear-” He interrupted Minho. “Hyunjin go see Chan.” Minho cut him off.  “Hyung-” “GO.”  Hyunjin sighed and walked up to Chan’s office. He knocked on the door.  “Come in.” He heard from the other side. He walked in and saw one of the elders already there, a cold chill ran up his neck.  “Elder Taecyeon.” Hyunjin bowed. “Sit Hyunjin.” He said in a low voice. Hyunjin looked back at Chan who looked beaten, and he didn’t know why. “Do you know why we called you here?” “N-no sir.” He was nervous.  “The council asked me to monitor you, after you ran away in August…” Shit, it’s December…Does that mean- “I’ve been watching you for four months.” He continued. “And I’ve noticed you’ve had a habit of disappearing from everyone’s sight for about 5 minutes, maybe no longer than 20. Usually that wouldn’t be too much of a scare, if it didn’t happen so often and if we could still sense you. Now, you know your sensing range is much much much further than the rest of our kind, so ultimately you know what you’re doing. The real question is why are you out of range so often?” He paused for a moment.  And Hyunjin could feel Chan’s energy darken.  “I-I’m sorry.” Hyunjin bowed. “I’ve been reckless and curious as to what’s outside our territory even though I know the rules.” Elder Taecyeon sighed. “Well, at least you're half honest.” “W-What do you mean?”  “Do you remember in late October, when one of the veal’s went missing for our monthly gathering?” “Yes sir.” Hyunjin knew exactly where this was going. “Where did it go?” Elder Taecyeon asked.  “I–” Hyunjin cut himself off because he didn’t want to answer. “Did you perhaps give one of our veal’s to your little cat friend?” Shit, shit, shit. He knew once elder Taecyeon left, he was so fucked.  “I didn’t come into contact with her.” He lied.  They couldn’t have seen me, I made sure of it.  “I know that Hyunjin… But do you realize how many rules you’ve broken, out of your curiosity? Do you know how bad this looks on your record?” “Record?” “Yes Hyunjin, record. We have to keep one on every member, so they don’t jeopardize the whole clan’s safety.” Elder Taecyeon continued. “Not to mention Chan, he’s responsible for you since this is his pack. I’m letting you know if you have another slip up within the next six months, we’re taking you under the elder’s clan to monitor you properly. And you know they aren’t the most forgiving. Anyways,” He stood up. “That’s all I have for you right now, the elders left your punishment up to Chan. I won’t be monitoring you anymore, but that only gives you more responsibility to do the right thing Hyunjin.” And with that, he was left alone with Chan and the most intense aura he’s ever felt yet.  “Hyung-” “Don’t.” Chan growled.  Hyunjin bit his lip. “Do you know how bad this makes me look?” Chan asked.  “Hyung I didn’t mean-” “Answer the question.” “I…” Hyunjin never thought about the consequences of his actions, he was too invested in the moment. And honestly… didn’t think he’d get caught. 

Chan laughed bitterly. “They think you’re a joke and that I’m incapable. None of the other packs know about this except for the elders and God, you are so fucking stupid.” “Hyung-” “Don’t! Don’t speak unless asked.” Chan said. “You can’t convince me that you’re in the right this time Hyunjin. Do you know how stupid you sound, a wolf following around a leopard just because she’s lonely or some shit? Did she cast a spell on you or something?” “Don’t talk about her like that.” “Excuse me?” Chan seethed and glared at him. “Do you want to say that again?” Hyunjin was going to repeat himself, but a knock on the door interrupted them, Minho opened the door. “I wouldn’t have interrupted if it wasn’t serious, but Jisung found this in Hyunjin’s room.” It was his notebook drawings of her. Minho handed it to Chan and then left immediately.  “Are you out of your fucking mind!?” “Hyung-” “Shut up! You are forbidden from seeing her again. I swear Hyunjin if I catch you going to see her-” “You’ll what?” Hyunjin asked, now fired up and annoyed. “Give me up?” “Yes.” Chan said. “Now go to the shed house.” Hyunjin turned around to leave and murmured. “Fuck you.”  And that’s when Chan lost it. “You really think that minx cares about you!? Is she going to feed you!? Shelter you!? Care for you like we do!? Like we’ve BEEN doing!”

You had just finished cleaning up all his wounds as he was finished with his story. “And so yea... I’m sorry...” He said as he sat up, he tried to put his sweater back on, but you grabbed it out his hand first. 

“Don’t wear that. I have extra clothes.” You got up, went to the dresser opened a drawer and grabbed an extra-large sweater you had stolen from one of your ‘brothers’. “Here.” You threw it to him, then folded the ripped one up and placed it on the table.

“Thanks.” He said, stood up and put it on.

“Also, you do not have to apologize to me.” You said while flattening your futon into its bed form. “In fact, I’m sorry that you had to put up with that from your own clan.” You sat down and he sat down beside you. “If it makes you feel any better... they were wrong about me, I do care about you Hyunjin.” You smiled at him. Hyunjin made you very giddy, especially with your memories restored from these past years.

“Why?” He asked.

“Because... you cared about me first.” You emphasized.  “You lent me a hand just to do so, you didn’t expect anything in return. Meeting you… made me feel less alone.” You rubbed your shoulder breaking eye contact. “My 'sisters' and I don’t get along. My ‘brothers’ ignore me, and my 'parents' try to control me, so… you happen to cloud my mind sometimes. Especially after our short ‘meetings’.” You confessed. “I’m happy I got to know you on a more personal level; I am sorry about your situation though... If it makes you feel any better, you can come here whenever you like just to get away from it all.” 

Hyunjin was in awe, you were a slight ray of sunshine. “Won’t you get in trouble?”

You smiled at him, “Hyunjin you’re sweet, but I’m always in trouble. That’s why I built this place, the only reason they haven’t kicked me out is because I’m a good hunter and a good builder. My elders literally said that to my face, so I isolate myself from them. They don’t like being around me and I don’t like being around them. As long as I do my part, they leave me alone, if they found out... yea I’d probably get kicked out or worse end up working for elders like a little servant. But my kind really doesn’t pay attention to me that much, not in the way yours does to you. I’ve gone off trail many many times and they’ve never cared; I’ve never stepped foot on your territory until today though.”

“Oh, well thank you. For everything.” He grabbed your hand again. He was finding comfort in your touch.

“I’m sure you would’ve done the same for me. We should get some sleep.” You laid on the bed making room for him.

“Can I sleep on the inside?”

“Sure.” You said and he climbed over you.

There was a moment of silence before Hyunjin mustered up the courage to ask, “May I hold you?”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to hold you instead?” You asked, knowing he could use the security. You saw his eyes beam a little, as he nodded.

You both finally got comfortable with Hyunjin on top of you. One of his hands draped around your waist and the other on your hip. One of your hands was playing in his hair while the other was softly rubbing his neck and back. He hummed in your touch. 

“Thank you.” He whispered. “For making me feel safe.” 

“Hyunjin-”

“Please just say, ‘you’re welcome’.” He sighed; he knew you were going to brush it off as if you were doing nothing special. “Nobody has made me feel as safe as you, not even my own clan. You’re not even my kind and yet you’re sheltering me, hiding me from your own and cleaning my wounds. And you’re so right, I would do the same for you in a heartbeat. I’m just so thankful that you’re here.”

“Of course. I mean isn’t that what friends are for?”

“Sure but... I don’t know, I feel like maybe… we’re something deeper… than that.” Hyunjin lagged his words.

“Something deeper?”

“Yea like chosen family, maybe even… soulmates?” He hesitated.

“Maybe. Maybe we are…” You hummed in his hair. Both of you relished in this new feeling of reassurance and security, which helped lull you two into a beautiful deep sleep.

[seramilla]

Well I'll try again. I will probably miss something

This idea has been bouncing around my head for a few months and here seems like as good a place as any to put it. (Sorry) So Vaggie is a winner in heaven and joins the exorcists probably called something like the powers because that's the name of the warrior angels in the bible apparently. While training she meets Emily and they hit it off they start dating and Emily brings Vaggie home and mets Sera who is protective of Emily and suspicious of Vaggie at first but is eventually won over and accepts Vaggie as part of her family which to Vaggie who in life never had a proper family means the world to her. Also for this fic Adam is lying to Sera her understanding of what happens is that once a year adam leads the powers down to help Lucifer take down the overlords it takes away a challenge to his rule of hell and makes sure that hell doesn't get strong enough to rebel while getting rid of the sinners who often make life worse in hell or at least that is what she and the rest of heaven think is happening including Vaggie who is a new recruit. The first extermination happens Vaggie goes down is shocked overwhelmed and things happen like they do in canon. Adam tells Sera that they lost and Angel this time and when Sera learns it's Vaggie breaks down in tears they tell her it was a freak accident. Sera tells Emily who is like Sera is devasted they are angels the people around them aren't supposed to die so they don't now how to handle it. Meanwhile in hell things go along as normal it takes longer for Vaggie to start dating Charlie because she feels guilty about Emily but eventually concludes there is no way for her to get to heaven so decides she should move on after all Emily probably has. Things go like normal till episode 5 when Lucifer agrees to go over adam and contact heaven ie Sera. Sera had the ability to talk to Lucifer but they hadn't talked in years but she agrees to hear Charlie out and now Vaggie is panicking because she is going back to heaven. Meanwhile in heaven Sera is talking to Emily who is still depressed and even seems hostile of going to meet their guests from hell the place that killed her girlfriend. Sera convinces her that her hostility and cynicism isn't her and Vaggie wouldn't want her to be so hostile to the people of hell. Emily agrees and they go to meet them and are shocked and overjoyed to find Vaggie there. There is a moment like Vaggie's react to emily taking Charlie's hand only Vaggie and Charlie are swapped. Vaggie asks Sera to teleport them somewhere private which she does and tells everyone everything including that she has feelings for both Emily and Charlie. Sera the adult in the room has them put that aside for later while they deal with how to end the exterminations. I don't have a end but I am thinking it ends with a poly Charlie Emily and Vaggie.

The angst! The drama! The sapphic yearning and panicking! I love these what-if scenarios because I could honestly see Vaggie falling for someone like Emily, if she were given the chance to know her outside the Exterminators in Heaven. Emily seems pretty closed off with Sera, and seems pretty naive of the goings-on in her own realm. She's practically a carbon copy of Charlie in terms of her personality, morals, and values.

I'm certain she and Vaggie would be on the same page about protecting Heaven but minimizing damage just to the overlords who are causing problems. If Vaggie actually knew Emily and spent less time around Adam and Lute, I wonder if she wouldn't have been as drawn into the Exterminations as they're characterized in the show. Obviously she has qualms about it, because she protected that child, but with Adam yelling in her face for years that Sinners aren't worth saving, a part of her probably started believing it. If she and Emily were dating, he wouldn't have been able to influence her that way.

Then, when she's forced to fall for protecting a Sinner's life, and basically finds her previous girlfriend's twin is living there, and oh! She's also the princess of Hell, well that's like the ultimate mindfuck for Vaggie. She fell out of the frying pan, and into the fire. This person reminds her so much of the one she left behind, her brain has to be spinning off in a million different directions. And over time, when it's solidified in her mind that she can never go back, of course she falls in love all over again. She probably wants to claim any happiness she can get, right?

Then fuck! Charlie gets called to Heaven and her girlfriends meet, and fuck again! She has to choose between them! How can she possibly make this choice???

Unless...? 👀 She doesn't have to...? 👀

But to be a true sapphic love triangle there might have to be dramatic breakups, lots of angst, and crying in the shower to stretch out the plot. Charlie and Emily would have to catching feeling and it might take 20 chapters before anyone even says the "L" word. Sounds perfect!!

(I am always so torn regarding ships with Emily. There are a lot of cute ones. I just love Em so much and want her to be safe, at the end of the day, and she'd absolutely be safe with Chaggie)

[sorencd]

PROLOGUE: LIKE THE MOVIES

─ i want a love like i've seen in the movies.

september 19, 1957 ── 10:46 am

the bookshop, for the majority of the time, was quiet. only the sounds of customers opening the door from time to time was what could be heard. because usually, when people go bookshopping, it's done quietly. a certain pair of cheeky best friends, clad in coats and sweaters that entered the shop about an hour ago was an exception, though. the previously quiet and quaint store was now filled with hushed chattering amongst themselves and the occasional faint laughter.

examining the covers of books was your second-most favorite thing to do, aside from reading and smelling the comforting scent of aged and new books alike. neil would always stare at you incredelously whenever you took a sniff of a good old book's pages. in your defense, they really do genuinely smell good and of you could, you'd bask in the aroma forever.

"this book looks cool."

neil handed you a book with a bright cover, the title 'catcher in the rye' written in bold. you flipped it over a few times to examine it properly, it did pique your interest quite a bit, but not fully.

"what's it about?"

"it says here; 'the comic and touching novel about a raw american adolescent, which has become recognized as a key book of the present decade.' hm, it's all about adolescence, obviously." he ended, flipping the book over to look at the front page again.

"you gonna read it?"

scanning your eyes over various titles on the shelves, you couldn't find a single one that you haven't read, and if you hadn't read it, it didn't really sound too enticing to you. you were about to move to another shelve until one finally spoke to you. pulling it off where it comfortably sat between two other books with a smile, you held it in your hands carefully.

"i just might. have you found a book to read?"

"yeah." you blatantly responded, revealing the book that was in your hands. showing him the title of whatever piece of literature you were able to put your hands on.

"really, 'the cat in the hat?'." neil arched his eyebrow with a smile.

you laughed at his response and at yourself. it was maybe a bit silly, reading a children's book. but you couldn’t find anything else.

"yeah! nothing could go wrong with a dr. seuss book."

"if that's all your brain could comprehend i totally understand you, (y/n)."

shocked with what just came out of neil's mouth, you shoved his arm with faux hurt and a loud laugh. you're sure there are people watching the two of you and are giving you weird glances with how rowdy the both of you are being. you pulled your eyes away from neil to look at the selection of books once more, and another title caught your eye. repeating the same action from earlier, you took it out from where it was sandwiched.

"would you rather read this one? 'how the grinch stole christmas', it's perfect for someone like you. you could play the grinch."

"i will as long as you play max."

the pair of you were in another fit of giggles, teasing each other about ridiculous other things just to get a reaction out of the other. at this rate you're going you'd probably never be able to buy a new book to read before lunch.

"i think i'll just read 'the lord of the flies', no snide remarks neil."

"i wasn't planning on saying anything!"

"yeah ok. you go on outside, i'll be the one to pay for the books."

"it's alright, i'll wait for you."

to anyone who isn't close friends with the both of you, this could be easily misinterpreted as an interaction between a couple. but you assure them that you're just friends. moments like these however, constantly keeps you awake at night questioning if you still see neil as a friend or something more. you hated thinking about it, since you might just be giving meaning to things and you'll wind up hurting yourself in the end. why are feelings so complicated?

the clerk handed you your change and waved you off goodbye. the pair of you scuttled out of thr bookshop and into the slightly-chilled streets.

"where should we go next?" you looked at neil, hoping that he'll suggest you two visit the new cafe a few blocks down. you were a bit hungry despite doing nothing, but you were still hungry. and thank heavens neil knows you like the back of his hand.

"you wanna stop by the new cafe? the food on display always looks amazing whenever i pass by."

"brilliant idea! best decision you've ever made, neil. i must say. truly commendable."

side by side, you started walking on the pavement with your hands in each of your own pockets, respectively. neil was keen on striking up another conversation, judging by the brand new topic he had brought up seemingly out of nowhere. but you weren't complaining, you loved talking to him. that you couldn’t deny. and while the world continues moving on, your journey towards the cafe was a foot.

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.