V2
-I fixed some mistakes
-The no bleed margin is better for sticker making
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In lieu of Stuff Your Kindle day, can we talk about the issue of how the m/m genre of books, romance or not, is almost entirely dominated by women? Can we talk about how the most recognisable gay couples in media are written by women? Can we talk about how queer men can't even write about ourselves, how we are only allowed to exist when it's from the point of view of a straight woman sexualising us?
Can we talk about that? Or am I going to get called misogynistic for pointing out the disparity between who gets the writing deals, & who gets their books turned into movies, & whose shit gets popular versus whose doesn't? Can we talk about how m/m fiction is only allowed when it appeals to a cishet gaze, or is that too much for tumblr to take?
Can we also talk about how trans queer men are even more hated by publishing? Can we talk about how we get shit from both sides? Can we talk about how books about the experiences of being a queer man, written by queer men, never get the same recognition as books written by women on this subject (barring academia which has its own problems)?
Can we talk about that? Can we?
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For me, I’m not bothered by the idea or whatever of Taylor being lgbt. I don’t give a single fuck what her sexuality is. I’m queer myself (open to all genders but also deeply asexual lmao), so truly I don’t care if Taylor is straight as a board or bi or super gay or WHATEVER. I get bothered by people picking apart her life to make her fit into their narrative. There’s been Taylor songs I’ve heard and applied them to same sex relationships too (like to me, ivy is gay af) but not in a “omg Taylor MUST be gay way” if that makes sense. And as someone who is still forced to be in the closet for the most part, it makes me so nervous to see people talking about it and trying to “expose it”, it feels too close to outing for me.
Taylor could post rn and be like “my whole life and career has been a lie, all those guys were beards I have always loved women and the gaylors were right” and I’d be absolutely thrilled for her. I just think discussing such personal, unconfirmed things can be harmful. Like we know for a fact her and Travis are together, no harm in discussing them. But we don’t know what she and Karlie were for fact and it feels like im invading her privacy.
I want Taylor to be herself and be loved and happy but i really hate how many “gotcha” type posts I see of people trying to saying Taylor is lgbt. I saw someone on Reddit say one that they KNOW for a FACT that Taylor is gay because she “leaves them messages in her songs saying so” like babes what
i think you are speaking for a lot of my rational anons
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not to be discoursey but I just cannot stress enough that it wouldn't kill anybody to be mindful and kind and not dehumanize others in online spaces, and especially in fandom conversations, and especially especially in conversations about characters who do not exist.
Like there's a world of difference between "Character X is gross" and "Fans of Character X are gross" and there's no need to continually use language like this that only fuels drama.
It costs you nothing to be kind to people and it keeps fandoms so much safer. I've heard Brené Brown talk about this a few times and I super recommend this so we can all check ourselves and make sure we're still being kind.
Humiliation and dehumanizing are not accountability or social justice tools, they’re emotional off-loading at best, emotional self-indulgence at worst. And if our faith asks us to find the face of God in everyone we meet, that should include the politicians, media, and strangers on Twitter with whom we most violently disagree. When we desecrate their divinity, we desecrate our own, and we betray our humanity.
And like. IS FANDOM AS SERIOUS AS THE REAL WORLD OUTSIDE AND ACTUAL FORMS OF VIOLENCE AND OPPRESSION? Of course not.
But I don't think you can have it both ways. This is either your hobby that you spend hours of your day navigating, or it's not that serious. And your online friends are either the people that you have conversations with every day, or they're not. Just because it's a silly hobby doesn't make the time you spend here less real and doesn't mean you need to be shitting all over the carpet in your own house, yeah? There's already enough stigma from the outside world about your nerdy hobby being a stupid waste of time; you don't have to buy into that when you feel so passionate about the things you make, and read, and the friends you talk to every day.
Like, if you want to be that person, if you like starting drama, if you like hurting people's feelings, idk. That's a You Problem. And you need to work on that and it's not my business. That's such an extreme divorce from my values I'm not sure we have anything to gain from each other. But I'm not interested in harming you. I just want to feel like my hobby is a safe place.
Anyway, be nice to people please. 🫶
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I tried so hard to fit in as a child, as a teen, as a girl. None of it was ever enough I was bullied, ostracized, hated. I have never fit in anywhere but being queer, being a trans man, has helped me to embrace my otherness.
As a trans man, especially a queer one, I do not fit in with cis men. I do not get access to any privileges because, even if I am not explicitly clocked as trans I am still clocked as "other", as queer as neurodivergent, and if I am open about being trans? You should see the expressions twist, the discomfort in the locker room. I wonder if I was laid off my last job (a temp position) because they simply did not want to deal with my transness, I was made to sign things with my deadname and use the women's restroom despite my appearance. There's no point in pursuing it, I live in a non-trans friendly state.
Why not go stealth, you ask, why not pursue that dream, if you could call it, of attaining cis male privilege. And I ask, why should I be forced to deny something that I love, that is inherent to who I am as a person, for privilege I do not want, for what could it afford me? Why should I be made to deny all that I am, to lock it away before the gates so to speak, and pretend I fit in when I never will?
Why can I not be myself, in the wake of a world that wants me dead, is it because you believe being a man could not possibly be revolutionary? Is it because you believe men are the "other" in the queer community, ousting the people who helped build it in your crusade for moral purity? Are men simply degenerates who can not love in your eyes as you force women into a gilded box of wires and purity. Is this not the community of freaks and others? Where is our freedom from expectations, the ability to love and live and be noone other than ourselves, in all its queer glory?
I do not fit into your boxes, like a weed, a dandelion, I will grow out of the cracks and edges where I don't belong, to find a place I do.
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