#arokaladin

[kyanitedragon]

[ID: Teen Wolf screenshots featuring Stiles, with screenshots of aspec-themed tumblr posts edited onto them.

Scott talking to Stiles in the school hallway as Stiles stares into space, looking annoyed and tired. The tumblr post is from Lil-Aro and reads "If you're ever doubting your aromanticism, have a conversation with a alloromantic for like 5 minutes and you'll be good."

Stiles anxiously sucking on his lip as his dialouge says "How come when we graduate, we're just expected to go our separate ways? Why aren't I not trying to stay with them, you know?" The tumblr post is from AroKaladin and reads "Allos: aros have like no feelings. they're cold and unemotional and don't care about anyone!!! basically robots!!! they form no attachments to others!!! [next line] Actual aros, neck-deep in abandonment issues and dreading the day their loved ones inevitably marry off and leave them forever (something they cry about fortnightly): lmao i WISH"

Stiles looking behind him with a shocked expression, following Danny's gaze as Danny stares at a shirtless Derek off-screen. The tumblr post reads "Me a year ago: I don't get why people like to see others shirtless? Like, it's aesthetically cool, but??? [next line] My aroace ass now: Oh. OH."

Stiles gesturing while talking to Scott in the school hallway. The tumblr post is from Ace-Thinks and reads "Ace culture is having tons of questions about how other people experience sexual attraction in daily life but having no way to casually ask them [next line] Like [next line] "So... sexual attraction... how often do you like... feel that? Also what does it... like... feel like?" [Next line] See also: aromantics [Next line] "So... crushes... what's the deal with those?"

Stiles with a deeply anxious expression on his face, standing with his hands on his hips, trying to support himself. The tumblr post is from Cupio-Ace and reads "The only crush I have is crushing anxiety"

Stiles sitting on the floor, anxious and coming out of a panic attack. The tumblr post is from MauveMyHeart (deactivated) and reads "I'm a triple threat. Asexual. Aromantic. Anxious." The A in each word is bolded.

Scott and Stiles in Stiles' jeep, driving through New Mexico as Scott drives. The tumblr post is from Autcore and reads "Deepening the bonds of your friendship over a long roadtrip is aro culture."

Stiles pursing his lips while dramatically saying "No" as his dialouge reads "I mean no. You want to hear it in Spanish? No." The tumblr post is from RisingSm0ke and reads "Sometimes I laugh because as an aromantic asexual, my sexuality is basically just: No."

End ID]

[aromagpie]

the stormlight archive is aro culture.

[just-antithings]

gotta love how the aromantic label was the first queer label that I identified with, probably around 5+ years ago, and yet some people are trying to make me feel unsafe in my own community that has had such an important role in my life just because I ship “Problematic” ships and because I think harassing people over ships is for losers

[block-report-program]

-

[the-rose-owl]

.

[lavendarts]

drew my voidsona soup and @arokaladin​‘s lanternhead!

[mabel-loves-aces]

I’ve been thinking about this lately and I think I agree with @arokaladin and @aroaceandetc in that I strongly dislike the recent trend of replacing alterous attraction with queer platonic attraction. I will never say that no one ever has experienced queer platonic attraction but I think much of what people mean by it is encapsulated by the much larger concept of alterous attraction.

I am in a QPR and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced any “attraction” to my partner a day in my life. That relationship was one gradually built over time. Maybe I’m just too aro and don’t understand how attractions work, but queer platonic attraction feels so definitive and very commitment-y. Whereas alterous attraction is a much more nebulous concept that I think encapsulates my feelings of “I want to have some kind of close relationship with that one specific person.”

I dunno. I just think that in this case, something is lost when we try to label this kind of attraction as exclusively “I want a QPR with this person” Especially because QPRs mean so many completely different things to many different people. These concepts, I think, are supposed to be ambiguous because the aspec people who experience them and live within them have such different ways of experiencing and utilizing them.

[cubeflag]

Arogender flag by @aroacearborvitae, @arokaladin and @aromagni

(Any gender identity influenced by being aromantic or an aromantic-spectrum identity. 

Can also be used as a standalone gender label or in conjunction with others. The second choice would mean your aromantic/-spectrum identity influenced your gender in a significant way to you, so that existing labels don’t correctly or fully describe your gender, or you feel it’s important for others to know your aromanticism and gender are connected.)

[arocharacteradvice]

Mods

This blog is run by 3 mods, info below!

Mod Atem: Hi! I use they/them, and it/its pronouns. I am a two-spirit aro, who doesn’t use other terms for it (meaning I don’t call myself Non-SAM, “neu aro”, etc. I am aro and aro alone. Please don’t tag the posts that I make with those terms, either). I’m a huge fan of fantasy of basically every kind, and I’ve been working on my own aro fantasy novel series, called We Are The Stars. I also run Aroatem, aroinigo, and wearethestarsseries!

Mod Ollie: Sup lads, I use they/them pronouns and I’m a genderqueer aro whose sexuality is the concept of Body Talks (feat. Kesha) by The Struts. I love sci-fi, particularly cyberpunk (although I have Problems™ with the way a lot of it is written) and “pale blue dot” sci-fi that explores Our Place In The Universe, and am currently writing my own sci-fi trilogy, Sunless, which I will probably talk about extensively because I’m just Like That. My blogs are aro-bot and sol1loqu1st.

Mod Kaladin Hey! I use she/her and he/him pronouns, and trust me, however stressed you are about picking one over the other for me, I am more so. I’m a genderqueer aro, and I write poetry as well as theoretically My Novel, which has no name as of yet. I’m a big classics nerd and a terrible Quirky Academic stereotype. I love fantasy, especially the Stormlight Archive, but I struggle to actually read because of my gotdamn romance repulsion. So I’m holding out for my friends to get published. I run arokaladin.

[ndntighnari]

OKAY IM SALTY AND Y'ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

Part 1 of 2 probably, if this gets enough angry asks my way.

Carnival of Aros. We've heard of it. A lot of us participated in it. What I saw of aros in it tho weren't as positive as expected, (not) shockingly. Especially with how it was literally tied in, for some fucking reason, to the ace community. I check the tag, the first 3 posts I see by aro blogs I follow are all posts about how they don't want to be tied in like this to the ace community. @arokaladin was the first person whose post I saw, and it stuck a pretty big chord in me. To where I decided I'd make my own carnival post.

But this isn't a submission to the carnival. This is an open letter to the ace(aro) community. Why do I write it that way instead of "aroace" like everyone else? Well, that's pretty simple.

Aros are pushed under the rug even within the ace(aro) community. Aromanticism is treated like a subset of asexuality, when it is different entirely. This is to the point where there seems to not be any aro event that DOESN'T have ace based prompts or topics, or even alternatives for those ace(aro) topics.

So this is my open letter to the ace community that sometimes breathes in the direction of aros and humours us.

Dear people,

Aromanticism needs to stop being treated as a subset, or god forbid, even as inherently tied into asexuality. Aromantic people who prioritize their aromanticism, who have personal problems with asexuality (be it their own or how they have been treated by the community), and allosexual aromantics are left out of conversations about aromanticism as it is treated to be something that comes as a package with asexuality.

The problems here are also that alloromantic asexuals are always allowed their own ace community, but aroaces take over the aro community and overpower the posts allosexual aros make for themselves and their community by adding ace-centric additins that ultimately circulate it where it shouldn't be circulating in the first place.

Allosexual aromantics are treated as less than dirt within the aro community due to the fact that aroaces seem to never be able to stay in their lane and simply silently reblog aro posts without talking about their asexuality as well.

People are left out CONSTANTLY due to the way the community is, and how it ties itself into our very existence to the point alloaros aren't able to simply call themselves aro due to the fact people assume that aro means aroace and ace means alloace.

All that we ask of the ace(aro) community is to not throw non-sam aros, alloaros, and aros who don't want to be associated with the ace community under the bus. It is that simple.

For some reason, though, you cannot even address that this is a problem. You spam our aro tags with ace content, and expect us to be fine with that. We have had to make new tags to avoid the ace content in the aro tags (safe for aro, actuallyaromantic to be two of the ones that are aro focused. Don't fucking coopt those too).

So to end this off:

Aroace friends, followers, and even randomass people who read this post, please take it to heart. This isn't simply a "oh it's obviously not me" post. This is personal. I am personally saying you as a reader of this post need to read it again and again, and if you get mad at me, that's good. Because that shows me that you're someone who is actively harming alloaros, non sam aros, and aros who don't want to be associated with asexuality. Because that means this post is even more about you than you thought.

All I ask is for you all to fucking check yourselves and to let the aro community be the aro community rather than the ACE(aro) community. Because there already is an ace community. Go over there if you want stuff focusing on your asexuality, don't co-opt out aro only stuff.

Alloro aces touch this post and I will eat your fucking fingers.

Edit: reblog this and make sure it fucking gets seen.

[cake-and-spades]

Could you please recommend some good aro and/or ace blogs?

Hi :) Not sure what exactly you’re looking for, but here are some blogs I follow (and love). I feel like everyone probably knows about them already but I’ll post them anyway lol

Aro blogs:

Arotaro

Arokaladin

Arokeladry

Aro-soulmate-project

Aro-mood

Greyro-problems

Ace blogs:

The-unfuckables (currently inactive)

Theacest

Aroace blogs:

Aroace-people-are-lgtbq

Anagnori

Hands2muyself

Freakingacedit

Raavenb2619

Zemathememequeen

[imoga-pride]

Aroacegender Flag

Aroacegender or Acearogender: the combination of arogender & acegender; any gender identity influenced by being arospec while your acespec identity is intrinsically tied to your gender identity that you absolutely cannot separate the two; or when you can’t distinguish your aroace identity (or aromantic asexuality) from your a/gender identity.

Combining flags by @aroacearborvitae/@arokaladin/@aromagni (arogender) & @gayglitch (acegender). Arogender was coined before orientationgender, it has a dissimilar meaning but could be also considered an orientedgender.

[ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity]

Weird Question, are QPRs limited to Aro-spec people? Sometimes even though I identify as allo romantic I feel like a QPR is something I'd want instead of like a romantic relationship or something else. I've also been questioning if I'm on the Aro-spectrum though too? Its hard and confusing, lol

Here’s a post you might wanna check out!

https://ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity.tumblr.com/post/169959623038/arokaladin-okay-so-a-personal-opinion

The term/concept of a QPR was created by aros for aros/Arospecs, but allo people can be in them too as long as you take the time to understand what a QPR is and as long as you take it seriously like you would any other type of relationship (not to imply that you wouldnt take it seriously if you end up in one with someone, I just mean in general)

-Mod Elle

[aroacepagans]

Hello! I’m kinda out of touch w the aro community and would like to fix that. Could u recommend some aro or ace blogs to follow? And if it’s not too much trouble, preferably not white bc I’m brown and intersectionality is important to me. If that’s too specific don’t worry!! I love ur blog💕💕💕 have a nice day

A lot of aro blogs are just side blogs specific to aro stuff so it’s hard to know what peoples ethnic and racial identities are a lot of the time, that said, @aceandaropoc is a great resource and you might be able to find some other non-white aspec folks though their blog.

As for more general blogs I would recommend : 

Aro: @saltyaro , @arotaro , @hella-aro , @arokaladin , @aromantic-safe-spafe , @greenarolizard , @arospecinitiative

Ace: @artemesiae , @redbeardace , @blazinaces

I know that at least a few of these blogs are also run by aspec poc, but that’s definitely not true for all of them. If my followers have other blogs they want to recommend then they’re totally welcome to do so!

Hope that helps! 

[hella-aro]

Hey if anyone here is aromantic and allosexual, I’d be grateful if you wanted to take this survey. If you can’t take the survey, it’d be great if you could reblog it so more people can see it.

@aromantic-official @aro-soulmate-project @aroworlds @arokaladin I’m tagging because I would ask if you could give this a boost since you are some popular aro blogs, I hope I’m not overstepping

[aro-neir-o]

TL;DR RESULTS Aro-Spec Identities and Experiences of Stigmatization

Here are the most interesting points! A full version of these results is available here, courtesy of the awesome @arokaladin

Demographics

- About 80% of participants were under 25 years old, non-binary and/or cis women, single, and white.

- Most participants identify broadly as Aromantic.

Microaggressions and Harassment

- Aros experience microaggressions and harassment against them at a rate identical to other LGBTQ+ groups (i.e., Sometimes). Aros find these microaggressions moderately distressing (again, identical to other LGBTQ+ groups).

- Some aros never experience microaggressions/harassment, while others do all the time. Some aros found microaggressions/harassment slightly distressing or not distressing at all, while others found them extremely distressing. There was a lot of variability, which is normal.

- Most frequent microaggression against aros is others telling them that there is no such thing as discrimination against aros.

- Most distressing microaggression against aros is others asking them to be in a romantic relationship because they are aro (i.e., to “show them what they’re missing”); this was more distressing than being threatened with harm.

- Family members were the people most often harassing aros, by making anti-aromantic remarks.

- Discrimination against aros was not related to how “sociable” or “good” aro people seem to non-aros. People who are aro are targeted for harassment because of their orientation, not because they have unlikeable personalities or social styles.

- Aromantic people are slightly to moderately good judges of how often non-aro people are likely to harass or antagonize them. (They’re conscious of the stigma against them.)

Other Interesting Results

- Most aros think that non-aros are anti-aromantic to a slight degree. 

- The aro community’s self-esteem is slightly lower than ideal.

- Being aromantic does not seem to be related to having a physical/psychological condition. Only some people indicated a connection; most said there was no connection. Being aro is therefore not a mental illness. But aromanticism and being mentally ill can be related in some circumstances.