#as always you make very valid points!

[edwinas]

You're right about the part where Anthony still got the end focus of the dinner instead of Mary or her family, that part shifted the scene away from them so outside of the writing of it, it could come off as him 'saving' their family when really he just caused further problems for them.

I honestly wish we got even just one scene with Kate and Mary after that dinner though because I do feel like Kate really didn't know the full truth about why Mary and her parents were estranged until now. So much of the nuance behind her decision and Mary and Edwina's reactions gets lost within the writing because now, people keep saying that both were "ungrateful" to Kate when really they were shocked and hurt. Mary's line about Kate "keeping so much from her" was definitely tied back to her making that deal with the Sheffields, and it sucks that only Kate and Edwina's conversation afterward was put in because it had to do with the engagement but not Mary and Kate, who have their own dynamic. Mary in general suffers from a lack of proper development and focus because I guess the writers couldn't work around the fact that Kate had to be a parental figure to Edwina? Which makes no sense because Anthony is sort of one to his own siblings, but you still see Violet take care of the younger siblings at least. They could've easily included her more in Edwina's scenes and have her just BE more with Kate.

Yep, the way that dinner was framed with Anthony playing the white knight and playing such a BIG part was a racist trope. And it encroached on some much needed Mary characterisation. What better time for us to get to know her than through her relationship (or lack of) with her parents??? And her life was so interesting and unusual? How many young women from the ton have moved countries??

So I totally agree with Mary not being developed! As you said, Mary being involved in her daughters' lives now doesn't change the fact that Kate raised Edwina. We can still get Edwina looking to Kate and Kate continuing to be involved in Edwina's matchmaking. I still have no idea what the show was going for with Mary. She either had great scenes or was a background character with no lines. No in-between.

YES WE NEEDED MARY AND KATE TALKING AFTER THE DINNER. The Sheffield dinner was important for Mary too: she reconnected with her parents after 20+ years. We should have seen more about Mary and what led her to leave the ton. I don't think it was simply her "running away." The situation must have been so untenable that Mary thought the only choice she had was to leave for India with her young children. A Mary-Kate chat would have been a chance to shed light on Mary's past, that Kate didn't know/remember. For Kate and the audience to understand Mary better.

[hailsatanacab]

"Well, this is a bad idea," Tim says, hands on his hips as he surveys the mess they’ve made in the cave.

"Nah," Danny replies, twirling his screwdriver in the air in what is probably meant to be an impressive trick to inspire confidence, except he fumbles it and it clangs to the floor loudly, "we good. If a younger version of myself hasn't come forward in time to stop me, how bad can it be?"

"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"

"What?"

"Normally, it's an older version of yourself going backwards in time to stop you, right?"

"Not in my experience."

Danny's grin is impossibly feral and a shiver runs up Tim's spine.

"This is definitely a bad idea."

[cruelsister-moved2]

like we are on our nine billionth positivity post for cis men with beards and masculine trans men and feminine lesbians and bi people in m/f relationships and nb people who are comfortable passing as their agab etc.... do we need more? is straight people not being able to tell you're gay/trans really the biggest issue facing lgbt people right now?

there seems to be this undiminishable reservoir of care and sympathy for the very idea of having ur queerness slighted in any context. meanwhile people who never get the choice whether or not to hide it are routinely dehumanised, othered, and ignored. if the issues facing these groups do get discussed it's almost never with much concern for their feelings. invalidation and erasure may be one of the issues facing lgbt people and it deserves attention too but I really don't think you can claim at this point that it isn't getting its fair share already.

for what it's worth, even your hypothetical most flaming butch lesbian/fem gay man/androgynous nb person etc still meets people who assume they're cishet, who even actively refuse to acknowledge that they're not. the false equivalence between erasure and overt prejudice alleged exclusively by those who largely experience only the former is in fact erasing the reality of people who experience both

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

[trans-estinien]

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

[mishapen-dear]

people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more

[craycraybluejay]

Some people have a skewed idea of the difference between self-defense and revenge, and you can immediately tell they've never had to seriously defend themselves from an ongoing threat to their life and livelihood.

[suddencolds]

do you know your ocs' mbti types?

I actually do!! (Idk who you are, or if we've talked before, but I love speculating about fictional characters' MBTI types, so this was a very fun q 🥹❤️ I'd also be curious to hear your guesses for them if you have any!!)

I think Yves is an ESFJ! For Vincent, I'm stuck between ISTJ and INTJ. :)

I haven't though enough about all of the (many) side characters to assign them MBTIs, but I know a few (Leon is an ENFP, Victoire is an INFJ, Mikhail is an ESTP, Cara is an ISFJ, Genevieve is an INTP).

[rogersstevie]

one thing about me is even if i hated the book i just read i will still be defending the main character while all the goodreads reviewers go on about how whiny and selfish she is

[yay-depression]

the repressed neurodivergent experience of thinking “no one will ever love me with all of my neurodivergency the way i love them with their neurotypical-ness.”

[icewindandboringhorror]

everyday I miss miitomo .. aaa

[klavierpanda]

You know what, I'm tired of being "valid". The validity of my existence is meaningless if you don't listen to what we have to say and you don't defend us from those who mean us harm even if it inconveniences you or puts you in danger too

[pepprs]

also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Genuine question that I've been thinking about - do you think it's in bad taste to refer to the Jellicles as a "tribe", given the racial connotations of that word? I know the creators and fandom probably don't mean anything by it, and I'm not trying to start a fight in the fandom but with the the racism already present in some stagings of the show and the other words that exist to refer to a group of cats, do you think another word might be a better idea?

This is actually a very good question and overarching point, anon; one that I have found myself pondering from time to time. 

I'm afraid I don't believe I have the appropriate proverbial toolkit necessary to fully unpack this the way it deserves, nor do I have any kind of authority on this subject. It's a complex and nuanced matter that is heavily intertwined with critical race theory. The term "tribe", even at a very basic level, is deeply rooted in colonialism and horribly outdated 19th century social theory. The word does not (nor has it ever) inherently exist in neutrality because of these associations.

It does bring up two very important points that I can briefly touch on while opening up the floor, though, being the idea of intent (and whether that actually carries enough weight to "justify" anything), and the other overarching matter that whatever is associated with CATS can very quickly delve into otherwise uncomfortable territory, particularly in the racialized sense, as it (whatever it may be) is immediately associated with animals. Referring to a group of animals as a "tribe" is a very slippery slope downwards, when we consider it from that angle in association to the racially charged meaning behind the word.

I would say that having a better term to refer to the Jellicles is always an easily adaptable possibility (even just calling them a group of cats) - there really is no reason that the word still has to be used. However, again, I don't believe I have any qualification to comment upon this.

[katyspersonal]

The controversial classic, Gehrman and Maria!

These characters have infinitely deep potential no matter what you make out of them, they're just such an interesting duo! As ship, as grandpa/granddaughter duo, as just teacher/student duo - no matter! But yes granted I don't even know if /I/ ship them? I am more interested in defending the idea of a ship than shipping it myself, as both characters work better in a ship with other characters! I just always like to see people that ship them, especially if we are on the same page about what ended their friendship and they depict them happy from simpler times before things went into Hell!

I think my biggest discourse point, aside of translation errors and assuming versions as 'THE' truth is that... I don't believe discourse woulda existed if both Gehrman and Maria were the same gender. I will only eat my words if I can travel in the parallel universe where either Maria is a man or Gehrman is a woman and see fandom being the same anyway. Until then, nope!

In my opinion it works better if this ship either never came to fruition and was one-sided from start to finish, or fell apart. Would explain why Gehrman moans Laurence's name in his sleep (ha! GAYYYYYYYY!) but doesn't mention Maria (perhaps enough time passes from her death for him to start to bury feelings even back before Hunter's dream?). And also 'his curious mania' is properly translated as 'insanity of his curiosity' which I always seen as Maria realising his true repulsive Byrgenwerth affiliate motivations for Hamlet massacre? And in my version Gehrman doesn't care or sympathise with anything inhuman - but we know Maria ended up lethally guilty about her crimes, so Gehrman failing to understand and help her with her emotional anguish is a big reason for them growing distant.

It is just so fucking sad. Really. Gehrman has more regrets than anyone else could bear and Maria has to live with disappointment in a mentor she used to idealise. I pointed out 'they can fix each other' in terms of influence - I see that in better turn of events Gehrman could have helped Maria to get less naive and grow tougher skin to manage her natural tender-heartedness better; meanwhile she could influence him to become less ruthless, at least for the sake of people he DOES hold dear. I use 'things crashed and burnt because people failed to properly COMMUNICATE' often in my ideas, huh?

I have to admit it though - dark creativity has its merit too? For example if someone who legitimately interprets Gehrman as sexist and creep showed a messed up dynamic between him and Maria (walking into 'ship' territory or not) through creativity, that'd be interesting to see and examine? Visual art, fanfics or simple presentation of ideas (like theories and essays) just speaks way better and deeper than just bashing character for interpreted reasons. I do not get bitter at hate for the duo as long as it doesn't concern the fans of it, but if someone was to show why for them ship is bad, through art, I'd actually like it despite having different interpretation!

[echoes-lighthouse]

In the info cards your doing, what's the difference in the Kink and Sexuality stats? Maybe it's because I'm Ace but those two seem like the same thing to me? Just curious.

Oh good question!! Those are totally separate for me, especially because in my personal life I'm mostly interested in nonsexual kink!

I use the word 'kink' to basically refer to most forms of consensual power exchange in the relationship: times when one person chooses to be submissive or dominant as part of an agreed-upon role.

In a lot of my relationships that specifically relates to ageplay: where one character takes on the role of a child and the other person their caregiver. That roleplay can be part of sex, but I'm far more attached to it outside of sexuality: just a normal day way for someone to unwind and feel supported. Get some chicken nuggets and some hair ruffles and make some crayon art that goes on the fridge.

Some of my pairings might also feature non-roleplay aspects of kink in a nonsexual way. For example, getting blindfolded and wrapped up with some rope is a genuinely nice way to relax for some people.

So yeah!! The 'kink' graph is about how often that pairing participates in consensual/intentional power exchange, while the sexuality graph is about how central sexual activity/sexual attraction is to the pairing.