#as i understand it they are also canonically uninterested in humans but who knows. maybe i'm special. you don't know-

[lonepower]

i can't do it. i can't be strong any longer. i'm reading these damn books and if the neurotic killer nerd robot Does fall irrevocably in love with me well that'll just be my business

[xoteajays]

Being the typical autistic person.. I'd work hard on topics that interest me, but slack off on everything else. It's all or nothing with me. So I'm only paying intensive attention to topics that interest me. And usually if I'm interesting in topics, I do my own research about that very topic then. So basically the typical autistic mannerisms of their knowledge.

But in school, I would have said art class was my only best class. That was back when I used to be artistic. Not anymore though. Since there are people who ruin things for me a lot of the time. Language class, in the sense of English class (not Spanish), I'm basically a grammar nazi in a sense. Despite the fact that there are words I still mispronounce.

Based on the gifs I sent you. That is really my reaction to math. I'm so stupid when it comes to math.. Which is funny. Or maybe annoying is the right word. That I actually have people in my family, like a cousin, who can do math in their head without writing it down on paper. That makes me want to beat upside the head so they can never do math at all anymore. I would feel very satisfied if that ever happened to them.

I never participated in gym class.. I'm not knowledgeable about other classes. I don't know puns or riddles, I don't know science either.

So you can say that I have that whole AuDHD intelligence basically, if that needs to be explained. I hate the abbreviations. Anyway. Actually there is a short video that explains it.. I'll have to send you that video.

As an INTJ. I don't know how to play chess or checkers. I may be able to manipulate people, but not in the traditional sense you'd imagine.

Traditionally mice and rats are social animals, always in groups. So I'd say that could work together with others. Clubs specialist can work in that way. Does Dourmouse care about people? And besides.. you said that she has a sleeping disorder? If they have a sleeping disorder then I can't really imagine them being active in spade games, not in a very traditional sense. But it also depends on what her disorders though.

That's my other problem. If I write an AIB story... I have to figure out a lot of games, besides the canon games, for my characters. That's fun.

"He is calm, highly intelligent and manipulative, and analytical at all times, making him a potentially strong Hearts and Diamonds player, even though he claimed to not be suited for Hearts. This allows him to triumph in games that require defeating other players, yet because he declares to be uninterested in understanding the human heart, Diamond games remain his strong suit." Chishiya is a hearts and diamonds specialist, but he prefers diamonds specialty.

That was from the manga site.

But for the show, Chishiya does participate in a lot more heart games than he did in the manga. Like the Prison game with Bando and Yaba.

I do know that Niragi is originally a diamonds specialist. And I noticed (for the fans who actually like Niragi), I've notced that sometimes end up writing Niragi as a diamonds specialist in their stories.. So why not make him a diamonds and spades specialist. Since my characters will have specialties in more than one suit of games. But that's just what I might be doing. And you too. Since they have more of a chance to be surviving in this apocalyptic world. It makes them more interesting.

Wait! Correct me if I'm wrong since this is your character. I remember that I started talking to you because I wanted to create characters for Alice In Borderland. How ironic. But your talking flower character was a jeweler? Someone who worked on clocks. I think.. I can't remember.

But if I did create a flower character, they would be a botanist or even a florist. Because you could make plants and flowers out of necessity. Like spices for food, medicine, basically out of that. I would have also made them a gardener.. But. Gardening takes a lot time for any plants to grow. So who knows how long they would be stuck in Borderlands.

And if I did make a flower character. Like you said, I can't imagine this character being a spades person at all. If they're intelligent enough to know which plants could be used for food and medicines, then that is going to require intelligence which would be diamonds (to an extent). If they care for other people enough to actually help them, then clubs and hearts specialties too. So any of those suits are their specialties.

I sent you a list of Wonderland characters. There might be characters missing.. I mostly went with the list of Wonderland book characters in this situation, not the movies. I don't know. I'll have to search the list.

True. There are side characters that characters thought was Alice.. So there's that. Maybe I could combine characters for her. Or should this character be only one specific character. To be consistent in that way.

Yes! Karube does care about people. But the moment he realized that people have lost their lives in these games, he started panicking, that was when he started only caring about himself and his friends. And.. I think. Maybe when it gets a better grasp, a better understanding, in a Borderlands world like this. Maybe he would be more helpful to some people who might potentially become friends with them. I don't know yet. But that's a thought. So I don't know if he'll live or die in my story.

~

Exactly! That's the easiest way to manipulate Rocky. And.. That is not the first time Doubt manipulated Rocky, just by kidnapping women in most situations. They could have killed Rocky (and the Rascals) if any other gangs never showed up to the fight in the subway. That was the one time the Strawberry Girls were actually useful. So the gangs have saved the White Rascals. Mainly Cobra. Rocky can really be stubborn.

And yeah. If Hyuga ever actually cares about the women in his life like his girlfriend, sisters (or sister figures), friends, employees... It doesn't matter the relationship. But Hyuga would be more violent than Rocky.

But that is one thing that upsets me about the Rascals. The only time you truly seeing the Rascals being completely violent was in a season - season one - of the show. I wish they continued to be that violent.. It seemed liked they eventually became a little less violent as the shows and movies continued though. But my version of the White Rascals is going to be like season one when it comes to any violent tendencies.

Exactly. Murayama does have brains and brawn. He is not completely stupid, but not that intelligent either. Seki's the stupidest one of their trio. But to be fair... Most women would be mortified in someone ever walks in on them having sex with someone. But those poor women.

Well.. If those women are lucky, hopefully no one ever walks in on any of them when we're being intimate. Especially while having sex then.

~

I could wait on watching the Tokyo Revengers live adaptions. And like I said.. I've been neglecting anime at the moment to watch these new Asian shows and movies. And also horror movies for Halloween too.

So I actually have a lot of anime to catch up on too, not just the Asian shows and movies. There is so much to watch.. My brain will be fried.

Did you know that Nijirō can speak English? I can't even remember if I told you that.. Nijirō characters are going to be multilingual in my own stories because why not. Because I'd love the multilingual characters.

You haven't seen Mask Girl? Rocky would hate the show. But at least.. That show is a short series. There's only seven episodes. And I'd really recommend you don't watch it around other people because of sex or rape scenes. Not overly graphic. But it's enough to possibly make you uncomfortable though. Maybe. I don't know how you feel about that.

You sound like me! I'm always watching what I can during the day and night.. Watching shows and movies. But it never feels like I have more than enough time to actually watch anything at the same time too. I'd always panic over it like I would never get a chance to watch anything ever again. And I don't know why I always acting or reacting like that. But I do.

- 💋

i was really good at english and ancient history (which was a class you could pick. either ancient history or modern history). i took mostly literary leaning classes, with a couple science ones thrown in. my only real accomplishment that i remember was being praised for the starting paragraph of an english writing assignment that my teacher used multiple times as an example of good writing. like thank u. the high u can get from ur high school english teacher praising your work in front of the class.

i’m not like. horrible at maths. i was in the mid-high level class in my high school. im just not that great at it. my dad was a banker for like 20+ years tho, so maybe a little rubbed off on me. but i can’t do like. the hard stuff. i’d prefer a calculator.

dormouse is definitely more of a people person especially in comparison to chishiya. i haven’t fully decided on what condition she has when it comes to dleep, but yea i could see it interfering with playing more physical games like spades.

i like designing games, but i also hate it because it’s hard. some games i just make so i can write a scene or do something to a character.

i also lean niragi more towards diamond games when i write him. probably because i write karube as a spades specialist. i also just think diamonds suits him better, i can’t necessarily see him as the athletic type.

my talking flower was a horologist! because i find out about jobs and get obsessed and just throw them at ocs. her tie to the wonderland talking flowers was more aesthetic, a lotta floral jewellery and outfits and breaking a flower vase in banda’s face when escaping his murder attempt.

karube’s main goal at the start was getting arisu and chota out, then he was forced into a game where only one of them would survive and he kind of panicked. i don’t necessarily blame him, but he was hella brutal in the seven of hearts. i guess the stress of potential death will do that to a person.

~

i love all the gangs showing up to help the rascals. it’s just So Good. they were all ‘we’re FRIENDS and we’re here to HELP!!’ i love them. no surprise there, since i love a found family trope.

hyuga’s more violent and focused on beating - if not straight up killing - the guy who hurt the girl he cares about. rocky’s more focused on making sure the girl is okay - and maybe he’ll come back later to beat the dude.

yea like they were fully prepared to beat dan and break his legs, but they kinda chilled out later. i guess since daruma came in to be the most violent gang in sword.

i can see murayama getting caught making out a lot, if not actually having sex. i had a thread of an idea for a fic like that but never actually wrote it.

~

havent started mask girl yet, i have it on my list tho. i probably would’ve start it, but decided on rewatching aib instead.

~

ep10 of worst! featuring the world’s most awkward double date!!

the boss, the cop, the wife and the associate all had the most awkward dinner together. the boss was trying so hard to have a nice time and everyone else was just being terrible. the wife wouldn’t shake the associate’s hand, the associate was talking about the drugs and what the guys do for work and pointing out that the wife’s a cop. the associate and the wife were being touch-y with their respective dudes - like. girl. in front of your husband right now??? it was a mess.

the cop’s drug addicted dad got briefly arrested by the semi-competent cops that are trying to arrest the boss and getting in the way of the main cop. so i’m expecting that to make a come back.

not a whole lot happened this episode with the main group. it was a lot of set up for the last two episodes, i feel. lotta scenes with the other non-main-cop cops and not nearly enough wi ha joon.

[cindymoon]

Did it ever occur to anyone that Wanda’s Roma background in the comics was BUILT on racist stereotypes? Similarly to M’Baku but also several others. And maybe that’s why the show runners stepped away from that..?

okay, so i think what we have here is someone who skimmed the original post in question (paragraph 2) and likely didn’t ready any of the links attached because that first message has been addressed already... but for anyone else in the same boat:

from gavia baker-whitelaw’s article:

Wanda and Pietro's Romani heritage was canon for decades (including in their non-mutant backstory), although this depiction often had problematic undertones. Wanda is literally a mysterious foreign witch, a damaging stereotype that acquired more nuance in later comics. But instead of updating Wanda and Pietro as modern Jewish/Romani superheroes (much like how Black Panther's charismatic M'Baku started out as a villain named "Man-Ape"), Disney whitewashed them. This casting choice was divisive in 2013, when The Atlantic highlighted the negative connotations of casting a white blonde actress as Scarlet Witch. Roma people are a marginalized ethnic minority, and Disney chose to erase their presence from the MCU.

...This rewrite was rather tone-deaf, because it involved Wanda and Pietro volunteering for neo-Nazi experiments. In the comics, their original parents were Holocaust survivors. Whedon also ignored the most obvious solution to Wanda and Pietro's non-mutant backstory: Django and Marya Maximoff, their Romani parents from the comics.

white washing characters is never the best solution. it doesn’t address the issue in so much as it just sweeps it under the rug. as well as perpetuating the idea that white is some unproblematic neutral that ppl can just default to. like can you imagine if in an attempt to “fix” how m’baku is portrayed in the comics, they just...put a white guy in the role? you can’t just remove a characters racial or ethnic background. no one is saying that her comic background hasn’t been problematic, but this isn’t the way to remedy that.

@scarlet--wiccan has an amazing post about the erasure of this whole family’s ethnic identity in the fox x-men films (x).

@villyns also has a good post outlining some examples of the mcu white washing rather than actually fixing the problem (x).

and here’s a decent article on white washing in media and why it’s a problem (x), quote from this article below:

Making a movie is not an easy feat; there are many things to take into account and even more people that you have to please, but there are also standards and morals to uphold. Whitewashing, blackface, brownface or yellowface is not just about denying jobs to minority actors, appropriating the stories of these groups, perpetuating stereotypes or keeping them invisible, it is about undermining their value as human beings and turning them into stepping stones, props, for white artists.

as for the second part. i think that’s entirely possible, actually. it’s done a lot to characters, where they won’t explicitly state their ethnicity but give them attributes from one (often stereotypes) and make them a caricature without making it, like i said, explicit. take the concept of jewish-coded villains in media. no one from disney has ever said that mother gothel in tangled is jewish, but it’s been pointed out by everyone that she’s jewish coded through stereotypes, ones specifically often used for “evil” witch-type characters, which is no coincidence: large, hooked nose, curly hair, greedy, etc. edit: hollywood uses coding like this often for racial/ethnic groups and the lgbtq+ community.

the maximoffs in the mcu and xmcu have never been explicitly made romani, with disney going so far as to change their parents romani names (django and marya) to oleg and irina. the name changes were unnecessary, except to distance the maximoffs from their original romani identity. the mcu changed their origins stories and cast non-romani actors to portray the maximoffs, and considering they went as far as to remove their jewish heritage as i mentioned before, it’s not a stretch that this is all an attempt to veil their romani background too. while they often joke about stealing and fortune tellers and poverty (the wv halloween episode really put it all in one place, but they’ve been doing it forever in the xmcu and mcu), i wouldn’t say this is an attempt to make them romani as much as it is to use a romani-esque caricature, to use it as a sort of “aesthetic” for the twins without acknowledging that it’s an ethnicity. the aspects they choose to keep are often either negative or painted in a negative light. i think the fact that el*zabeth ols*en continuously uses the g-slur to talk about wanda and costume design, speaks to that. 

and even if the mcu came out and said, “oh, our wanda is romani,” that wouldn’t change the fact that she’s played by a non-romani actress (who continues to use anti-romani slurs, despite knowing she shouldn’t) and that so far, they have not explicitly stated in the mcu that she is.

from gavia baker-whitelaw’s article:

Wanda and Pietro's whitewashing feels like an attempt to "neutralize" them. It frames their ethnicity as a problem to be avoided, rather than an opportunity to celebrate an under-represented group. This also meant that Marvel could cast famous white actors instead of sourcing an unknown Romani actor, during a period when the MCU was visibly uninterested in racial diversity.

But Marvel Studios wanted to have its cake and eat it, too. While Wanda is now white and Sokovian, her role isn't completely divorced from its Romani origins. It can't be, because everything in the MCU is informed by the comics. That's how we end up with El*zabeth Ols*n describing her Age of Ultron costume as "kind of this g*psy, vagabond feel"—terms that usually wouldn't come to mind for a simple black minidress and maroon jacket. Wanda's Romani heritage remains visible through veiled references and superficial costume choices, sidestepping any hint of meaningful representation.

from jessica reidy’s article:

Today, some Roma do call themselves witches, and serve as healers and spell-casters in a community, but make no mistake, being a witch is a job like any other. I was trained by my grandmother, I studied hard, I started a business, and I take bookings in my Google calendar. This is the context that most people miss when creating (or, in this case, adapting) Romani witch characters like Wanda Maximoff, and while the Scarlet Witch has plenty of magic, she does not need to fall into the stereotype, nor have her identity erased.

Representation matters. Wanda’s Romani ethnicity has been well-stated in the comic books, sometimes capturing the discrimination and violence that Roma face, and other times falling flat and stereotypical. Marvel also owes us, as Roma are often rendered as mentally unstable thieves, such as Dr. Doom, Wanda and Pietro’s community, and Wanda herself, and the entertainment giant capitalizes off of these stereotypes, reinforcing them all the while.

Every opportunity we get for accurate and positive representation is essential to us because it shapes the way people understand us.

linking the post i made again, because it has a list of articles and posts i’d recommend really taking the time to look through and engaging with them, as well as following folks like jessica reidy and @scarlet--wiccan​ on social media for more info from romani folks. 

[ballodellamarlena]

m o o n l i g h t

damiano david x reader + ex!gjon muharremaj (gjon’s tears)

genre: fluff, minimal angst

wc: 1.7k

notes: non-canonical OOC, also my first fic in a long time, this is a result of me ignoring my finals with a dash of projecting

feedback is appreciated! if you are interested in reading more i have more ideas :)

-

2021 just can't stop surprising.

In hindsight, it was worse for some in comparison to year prior, but life goes on.

And so does Europe's most famous song competition.

2021 just can't stop surprising. In hindsight, it was worse for some in comparison to the year prior, but life goes on. And so does Europe's most famous song competition.

2020's cancellation of Eurosong was devastating, to say the least, but now it's back and in full shine; different singers, different songs, lots of changes made. Your job as an audio technician swept you off to places you'd never thought you'd see. From concerts to musical artists in recording studios in their whole essence; the making of a song, the process fascinated you. It kind of didn't surprise you when you were accepted to be a part of Eurovision's sound squad. It was, after all, everything you've been working for.

It was not soon after Tel Aviv when you met Gjon in a recording studio, where you were temporarily stationed before departure to Rotterdam to start preparing for the next year. Gjon was a nice constant to your hectic life, always there to shine on a new perspective and always there to comfort you on your worst days. In turn, you were there during his journey to be chosen as Switzerland's contestant in 2020's Eurovision. You were there when he wrote his song about being and belonging. Your blossoming relationship became too great to ignore, and soon you became the team's sweethearts; his firm but soft composure meshing with your assertive and curious nature in the best of ways. You were not afraid to say that you knew him, and vice versa. Everything really was perfect. Until the epidemic hit.

It was like a domino effect, one thing encouraging everything else to fall apart. Being in a foreign country while it was in a state of emergency was not the most ideal, and it didn't really help your job. Your recently appointed position in Eurovision's sound squad was gone with the wind when the cancellation was announced, and so did Gjon's hard work. Tensions rose, and while your relationship was as healthy as could be, it simply wasn't enough. Or maybe it was never supposed to be something more than a prolonged period of deep infatuation between two human beings.

The departure was bittersweet, to say the least. But you knew, a year with him would never compare to anything else. You two parted gently, on a windy airport, almost ignorant to the tears in Gjon's eyes; you saw regret, pain, and fear, but you both understood that if you decided to give your all to each other before knowing what that 'all' even is, it would hurt much more.

You remember his arms around for the last time, whispering promises of sunnier days and warm reunions, the lump in his throat preventing him from promising you a better him.

You haven't been able to completely process his intentions, too keen on leaving. You were itching for something different, but everything seemed too claustrophobic in this state of the world. So you accepted the first job offer that presented itself to you and flew off to Sanremo.

-

"You okay?"

You turned abruptly towards Victoria, one of the band members you were here with here in Rotterdam in the middle of rehearsals and navigating through Rotterdam.

Your job offer as one of Eurovision's sound technicians still stood even throughout the epidemic but after Måneskin's success at the Sanremo Festival that granted them the first row in the finals of Eurovision you decided to stay with them, so the job kind of integrated being an official technician in charge of Italy and being their personal plus one.

You stared at Victoria with a blank stare, reminiscing the past short few months; Sanremo brought new experiences and new people. Italy's contest for the contestant at 2021's Eurovision started from square one, giving new chances.

Maybe Måneskin was just what you needed, the four of them. Victoria, Thomas, Ethan, and Damiano.

Damiano was a breath of fresh air. A breeze of fast wind. Assertive and confident. You couldn't deny it was attractive. You tried not to let his aura control your way of seeing him, but very soon you found him to be one of the best people you've ever met. You helped you express yourself more, welcomed you like family, made you see life and yourself like something more than you had originally thought. You two clicked, and between new friendships and an interesting job position you allowed them to take you with them to Rotterdam. And you did so without hesitating.

Besides, no one could deny something heavy between you and Damiano.

Back to the present, at Italy's table with the band and the delegation, Damiano comfortably sitting on your left, you stared at Victoria to your right, trying to come up with an answer when you heard it again.

"Will Switzerland's contestant please begin their rehearsal?"

And there he was, no different than that day at the airport. Last you heard about Gjon he came with a new song, after managing to keep his place as the contestant, something many preparing contestants had to give up prior to this year's competition.

You were sitting on the edge of your seat, elbows on your knees. You felt Damiano's fingers twirling one of your locks on the back of your hair, a bit uninterested to be watching somebody else's rehearsal while the band was already done with theirs.

"Yeah." you smiled lightly. There was no lie, why wouldn't you feel fine?

You felt Damiano's hand weaving with your elbow, pulling you to him, and you leaned back against the cushion, leaning your head gently against his shoulder. And if he noticed you seemed lethargic all of a sudden, he didn't say anything.

You stared intensely towards the stage, but relaxed and turned to the rest of your company after realizing this rehearsal only included the technical side of things. No song from him today.

-

22nd of May, 2021

Entirely skipping the semi-finals, you and your team only focused on your own band. Being one of the Big 5 was admirable, and everyone expected a show.

The clothes fit, the makeup was on, and the band was ready to enter the arena along with you and Italy's delegation. Nine pm was nearing and you were going to be sitting through all of the 26 songs, along with voting.

Songs went by fast, some fun, some less, but all were good until it was time for Switzerland. You were about to hear his new song.

Je vois derrière nous des morceaux de toi Et ce que la douleur a fait de moi

The somber tone, the lyrics. Your limited knowledge of french allowed you to understand the basic point of the song.

Nos deux cœurs sous la terre

He was still not over you.

But maybe he was but was singing about somebody else, you tried to rationalize.

Damiano squeezed your hand that you didn't even realize he was holding, you were so tense. The band was aware of your previous association with the Swiss singer, but you didn't even want to know what they were thinking about.

You only thought about the song. The melody, the words sang of his anguish, and it wasn't a bad song. You wanted so desperately to heal him but knew it was not your job to do anymore.

Comment soigner nos coeurs qui éclatent?

Your eyes made contact, and it was like going back in time. But all songs end, and so did yours.

The crowd cheered, it was a great performance. The table clapped and you watched him getting off the stage, not knowing what to think.

"It's going to be okay, carina."

That one pull you needed, and you didn't doubt anymore.

An hour and a half later, after Italy's performance, which was quite an experience, finals were coming to an end, and the voting began.

You will never get used to feeling nervous about getting results, even when you weren't the object of it. But watching Switzerland get so many points from the jury made it a whole new experience. Italy was places below and everyone was silent.

The televoting points change everything, it was unpredictable, just like the whole competition. You had Damiano's hand in your left and Ethan's in your right, squeezing them, but adrenaline prevented you to feel anything else besides your heartbeat.

You wanted them to win so bad. They worked so hard to get where they are today, and while all contestants deserved a chance, you couldn't not be a little biased.

The 318 points to Italy were a game-changer, the crowd cheered, Victoria and Thomas jumped and screamed, and Damiano pulled you up into a hug, cheering with them; they were in the first place now. Crowd's favorite, obviously.

All that was left to hear was the number of points for Switzerland.

You've got to be kidding me, you thought.

It was tension between Switzerland and Italy, and you honestly didn't know who would win. But did it really have to be the two of them?

You felt the cameras focusing and your table, And everything was silent. You felt Gjon's stare, piercing through you. But the only thing you could focus on was Damiano's skin touching yours, his fingers intertwining with yours, and you knew that no matter the outcome, everything would be okay.

But alas, the points weren't enough to overthrow Italy, and you grinned, suddenly feeling Victoria's arms around you and Damiano's tears of joy on your neck. Everyone's screams made it seem like total silence and you smiled big, proud of your friends.

You were so happy you didn't realize they were soon dragging you with them to the stage to perform once again. In fact, you never felt so happy, you even started to sing loudly with the crowd.

Damiano, in his whole element, shining with pride and glory, motioned you to the stage by the end, pulled you in, and kissed you deeply, holding you close, and silently thanking you.

You knew life wasn't always going to be this pretty, but you thought, maybe you could live in this moment for a little while longer, kissing your frontman and giving yourself completely to the blinding lights of a victorious arena.

It was time to move on.

-

a/n: this was so bad i'm so sorry

[hollowandmerciless]

So it was a love story after all

One of the things that has been said over the years about Attack on Titan is that it had no romance. Isayama, was the general consensus, didn’t write a love story. AOT is not about ships. It’s about the nature of humanity, about hatred, about racism and the will to survive. It’s got its roots in Norse mythology, in real life events from the recent past and a more ancient past. But love and romance, so everyone thought, never had a place in this story.

How wrong we all were.

As it turns out, Eren’s motivation for everything he did was always his eternal and undying love for Mikasa.

Here’s where I stumble.

I never saw any convincing signs of Eremika in this story. I didn’t like their dynamics in the first place – Eren seemed annoyed with her a lot of the time, or at best consider her his adopted sister – and what really rubbed me the wrong way during the entirety of the story was Mikasa’s unhealthy obsession with Eren. Yes, he saved her, and yes, she’s an Ackerman, who are known for their intense bonding to their host (although this was a false assumption as well, according to Zeke), but her obsession was unhealthy and annoying to the point that I was unable to see her character development or her actions. 

Her looks didn’t make her special to me (contrary to a lot of male fans I encountered on social media and irl), to me she was just one of the characters, albeit a rather uninteresting one, so I wasn’t paying as much attention to her as they did – we all pay most attention to our favourites (which in my case are Eren and Levi and to a lesser extent Hanji and Connie), and as a result I may have been blind for any character development she had. 

Maybe it’s because I’m a woman and I feel like she’s one of those poorly written -“the man is my only goal in life” -women. Women who in a story solely seem to exist as an appendage to the main character and have no life or will of their own. Eren and Mikasa were, in my opinion, never equals in this story.

I know many people do see Mikasa’s character development, and do see meaningful interactions between Eren and her, but I’m sorry, I can’t see them unless I use a microscope, and I think this is the main flaw in Isayama’s writing: with all the twists and foreshadowing (which I so thoroughly enjoyed), some hints he left are way too small, while some of his red herrings are too in your face to ignore. 

It also feels like Isayama changed the ending too often and forgot about a lot of foreshadowings along the way.

This is why it feels that we’re left with so many plot holes – if you read closely, there aren’t many, but the red herrings were sprinkled so abundantly throughout the story that we may have expected way too much. The origins of the Ackermans, the importance of Historia’s’ baby and “who is the father”, Zeke’s presumed 4D chess and Eren’s 5D chess, the Underground cities as protection against the rumbling, what caused the titan forest trees to grow so large, what happened 854 years ago in the year 0, Reiner heavily being foreshadowed to become the new Helos, what is the Hallucigenia thing, where did it come from and how does it create titans, where did Ymir’s first titan come from if there was no one in PATHS yet to build it – we don’t need all these answers, but somehow Isayama made us believe there was more to this than there actually was, and that’s why many of us feel robbed of the ending we wanted or expected.

The Historia storyline bothers me the most. The dynamics between her and Eren were much more interesting and realistic than those between Mikasa and Eren. To begin with, they were equals. Whatever happened, they always had each other’s backs. So it made sense to me that Eren had at least something to do with her choice to have a baby, especially because he was so vocal against it. Instead, she too married a guy who hadn’t been particularly nice to her in the past and nothing of it had anything to do with Eren or his plans, or their shared memories of previous founders. 

Parallels between OG Ymir and Historia seemed abundant, but apparently, in the end, we were supposed to see an essential parallel between Ymir and Mikasa. Her Stockholm-syndrome-love for the first King Fritz felt like a sort of deus ex machina (and yes, if you reread chapter 122 there were hints, but so scarce, so small, that they didn’t seem to hold much significance).

I find the fact that OG Ymir needed to see someone break loose from the clutches of obsessive love in front of her own eyes to finally break loose from her own love for Fritz a bit far-fetched, especially since I consider that this is what the entire story hinges on.

(Now we do understand why Isayama had Levi so severely wounded in chapter 114 (the explosion). Had he been fit, then he had most likely been the Ackerman who killed Eren (because this has been foreshadowed too, multiple times) – and that wasn’t supposed to happen. It had to be Mikasa, or else OG Ymir wouldn’t understand how to break loose from her bond.

Another thing that bothered me was Eren’s sudden confession of his love for Mikasa to Armin. Like I said, I found the Eremika dynamics particularly uninteresting, so this confession felt very unnatural and far-fetched to me – but, again, this is what the entire story is built upon. 

He does what he does for them, specifically for her.

It’s actually kind of sad that some fan theories were better/more interesting than the canon ending, but Isayama is the creator of this story and we’ll have to accept his ending – I do know that the more I’ve been rereading the final chapter, the less it bothers me how the story wrapped up. I might even come to like it, and when I reread the full story (which I will certainly do, I LOVE this story) I’ll pay more attention to the small hints Isayama sprinkled between the lines for us about the love Eren felt for Mikasa, to see if his words in 139 will finally make sense to me.

For now, Eren’s motives don’t feel real or grounded. If he’d cried about the millions (billions?) of deaths he’d caused instead of about Mikasa, it would have made more sense in the grand scheme of things. He’d cry for the lives he’s taken, and for the realisation that it has all been in vain, because the ones he tried to protect so that they can live long and happy lives, will now be consumed with grief and survivor’s guilt.

Still, could any of this have gone differently?

No.

Eren was rightfully desperate when he, from behind the bars of his cell, yelled at Hanji if there was another way. Because there wasn’t.

The irony was that Eren always fought for freedom, but all his life he had been a slave to his own destiny. He was unable to change the future, and could only try to influence it. Or else, as Kruger said, this cycle would repeat itself, again and again.

All in all I feel there was more to this story than what we got, it could have gone deeper, more foreshadowing could have paid off instead of being a red herring.

A bittersweet ending

Levi surviving and finally getting closure with the knowledge that this was what all of his old SC friends died for, brought me to tears. And that smoke, was that the disappearing of his Ackerstrength? 

The frame where he travels the world with his carers/adopted children Gabi and Falco and his new best friend Onyankopon (friend? lover? just look at that glance they share) made me so happy that this is now the desktop background of my laptop.

(I hope they’ll travel to the AOT equivalent of the UK so he can finally enjoy some decent black tea)

To me, at least this part was sweet. The rest: bitter, even the fates of the Alliance members. This is a story with an open ending. We don’t know if they’ll succeed on their peace mission, we don’t know what the Yaegerists will accomplish, we don’t know what the rest of the world will do; all options are open again, but maybe that is the point. Eren never meant to end the hatred, there’s no fighting the nature of humans. Erwin knew this already: mankind won’t stop fighting among themselves until there’s only one person left. 

Eren’s goal was to end the titan era, and at the cost of his own life and that of 80% of humanity, he succeeded. 

Learning that Eren, who held freedom in such high regards, was a slave to his own destiny all along was painful and ironic, but in a way he lives on as a bird, finally free, finally Vogel aus dem Käfig.

Thank you, Isayama.

[breitzbachbea]

📒💖

Emi, I'm kissing you on the mouth right now, you're so sexy. In general but also for taking the bait.

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

The Constantinople AU

This AU is from 2017 and came about because I watched a TED-ED video about Constantinople's walls, relistened to the Aladdin soundtrack and because I had earlier talked with a friend about how I had not really seen people make a genie a woman. I came back years later to explain it to my friend Jonah and add new stuff and this year I showed it to @amber-isnt-a-precious-stone to add even more things. It's one of my favourite AUs for sure.

Dramatis Personae:

- Herakles Karpuzi (APH Greece) as Son of the Roman emperor and heir to the throne - Sadık Adnan (APH Turkey) as Soldier in the Ottoman army and Imposter Prince - Dilan Taş (Human OC) as Jinn and Sadık's unsuccessful wingwoman - Athanasios Karpuzi (Human OC) as the Roman emperor and serial skirtchaser - Salvatore Vento (Human OC) as Advisor to the emperor and Fuckface McBadDad - Michele Vento (APH Sicily) as Herakles' childhood friend

The Happenings™:

- It's set in Constantinople in an alternate Universe, close to ours. It’s the late High Middle Age/Early Late Middle Age (depending on how you want to periodize. I am working with how the German Middle Ages are divided, which is arguably a very bad method for classifying Byzantine. But this is my silly Hetalia AU, not my term paper). Around 1300, I’d say.

- Athansios Karpuzi is the current Roman Emperor, which makes Herakles the heir to the throne. Athanasios is desperately trying to wed his son off to any available suitors to form new alliances, but two things keep getting into the way: 1. Herakles is thoroughly uninterested in playing along with Athanasios’ plans. He’s not a chess piece on his father’s board if he's got anything to say about it. 2. Salvatore Vento is Athanasios’ closest consultant and protests any marriage for whatever reason he can find. For the sole reason that he has been eyeing the throne for himself the entire time and wants to marry his own son, Michele, to Herakles.

- Like in my Hetalia AU "Like Father Like Son", Salvatore and Athanasios trust each other as far as they can throw one another. There is no genuine trust here at all, no sympathy, really, they just stick together because they know the other is useful. Have some assorted banter as result of this:

Salvatore: "Immortal what a name! What a title to bear! Although immoral would have fit you much better." [Athanasios’ etymology is “immortal”]

S: "Maybe you wouldn't have to struggle to find a suitable bride for your son if you stopped dragging every young woman within and from outside Constantinople to bed." Athanasios: "He's into guys too, problem solved." S: "Oh, yeah, me dumbass thought you needed stop whoring around, how silly of me."

A: "If he is into anything at all. But if I have another child, they might keep this empire going." S: "No legitimation to the lineage's claim to power like a gay loner and a bastard child." A: "Ah yes, I hired the man whose wife ran away with his son so he could berate me about family life. How I value your opinion, Salvatore." S: "She didn't run away." A: "No, she just hides and sends you people until she can get her divorce. I'm very inclined to give it to her."

S: "They're childhood friends! They'd make a great couple!" A: "All I can hear is what a great emperor you'd make, ruling on my corpse."

- So. Herakles is staunchly resisting any marriage to anyone and minding his business one day, walking along the great walls of Constantinople. He stops to look out into the surrounding area and suddenly, hears a noise. Confused, he looks down and sees someone scaling the wall. Sadık looks up and sees the most beautiful man he has ever seen … spotting him trying to get into the city.

- Sadık is part of the Ottoman Turks, who’re conquering the area around Constantinople these days. He’s some nobody in the army and thought he’d give it a shot and get into the city by himself to earn some fame (and money).

- Herakles is seriously impressed Sadık managed to actually almost scale the famously impenetrable walls of the city. Not impressed enough to actually let him in. So these two banter a bit, Sadık now distracted by this hunk in front of his nose. Herakles correctly assesses that he’s a Turk and says of himself that he’s the emperor’s son. Sadık: “Hey, hot stuff, if that’s true and it’s so impressive, why don’t you let me in as a reward?” Herakles: “Yes, of course. And then I’ll open the gates for the rest of your people, so that you can just walk in and take the city. What impossible thing do you want to happen next, a kiss on the mouth?” Sadık: “What’s so impossible about that?”

- Either way, Herakles threatens to sick the guards on him, which leads to a “Oh no you wouldn’t” - Herakles grins and definitely would, so Sadık has to retreat. (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha).

- He goes back to camp, having gained nothing but a crush. He gets in real trouble for rummaging around the booty, where he finds an oil lamp and WOULDN’T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Dilan, a Jinn, pops out and Sadık uses his first wish to get out of trouble. Once that is done and the two have a moment of peace, he's thinking about what to do next and his mind circles back to Herakles.

- Dilan: "Ah yes, they always want something with love ... so who struck you and what's the problem?" Sadık: "Well ... I don't really know if it's true but he said he was the son of the emperor. He certainly looked the part! And I didn't really want to wait for him to call the guards to confirm it." Dilan: "Wait ... so you want to get with the son of the Roman emperor?" Sadık: "If that handsome little shit didn't lie to me, then yes." Dilan: "Isn't that a little out of your ballpark?" Sadık: "What, is it out of yours? Can't help me in that case, magic lady?" Dilan: "Psht, don't make me laugh! I can make the impossible happen, just tell me what you need." Sadık: "I dunno ... I guess getting inside the city?" Dilan: "That's it? That's all you need? That's less than a no-brainer -" Sadık: "Oh yeah, if it's so easy then, save that second wish for later. I got past one of the walls already once, I'll figure that out without your magic." Dilan: "Alright, alright ... and what about the wooing of your sweetheart?" Sadık: "That we'll see to once we're there ..."

- Dilan and Sadık chitchat while they make it to Constantinople. Dilan spends some time in the lamp, because walking is boring, but she does tell him that she's pretty sick of being in there. So that's where Sadık learns about her wishing to be free. Dilan in turn learns that Sadık doesn't have such a rosy life either (especially because now he can't return to the army, after he basically deserted).

- So they get to Constantinople and decide to actually factcheck if they got the right guy - and if yes, some general information about the emperor's son. Luckily enough, a friendly trader/tradesman tells them a bit about the city and the imperial family. Dilan: "So, did you by any chance ever see the emperor's son?" Trader: "Oh, well, that's an odd question, isn't it? But since you don't seem to be from here, I can understand the curiosity. Well, let me think ... You often see him only from afar ... during a triumph where he had accompanied his father during the campaign I got to see him up close. What a regal figure there at the head of the troops!" Sadık is too lost in the vision of his crush all decked out in military gear on a horse. And then taking all that gear off and being a regal figure while he fucks Sadık into the sheets … Dilan: "Yeah, yeah, yadda yadda, we need something more concrete. Height, hairstyle, haircolour, what does the dude look like?" The trader/tradesman is a little baffled but does provide a description that lines up with who Sadık saw. So with that information, they start to wonder how to woo a future emperor.

- Luckily, now that the trader/tradesman thinks they're here for imperial gossip, he actually mentions the fact that Emperor Athanasios hopes for his son to follow his footsteps and is currently looking for a suitable match, so that Herakles can be of political use even while he's still in charge. So Dilan and Sadık get an idea how to get into the city and Herakles heart. Or his pants. Milestones are still up for negotiation.

- After the grand entrance happened, where Herakles definitely took offense at either "Heard your prince was a sight lovely to see" or "Heard your prince was hot, where is he?" because either question was accompanied by Sadık's flirty looks, Athanasios actually lets Sadık and Dilan into the palace. There he and Salvatore discuss the entire thing, aka if whoever Sadık pretends to be is a good match.

- While they talk political stuff and snark, because of course Salvatore is against it, Sadık continues to feel very smug in his new princely identity and makes flirty eyes at Herakles. Herakles is just like "ugh" and much more happily plays with his cats. Which tbh sounds like they're 16 or something, but they're not that much younger than in canon (I think they'd be 22 and 24 here).

- Hijinks ensue. Herakles tells his dad that he’s a Turkish soldier that tried to sneak into the city and Athanasios doesn’t believe him, thinking Herakles is now lying badly to not get married. Dilan and Sadık are developing a friendship that is best described as hoes being bros.

- Dilan: "Look, you like cats. Cats are furry. Hairy, if you will. You know who else is hairy? Sadık. He's juuust as hairy as a cat - shhhht, I'm wingmanning for you and it's working great, you can thank me later."

- At first, Dilan mostly employs her magic for some silly little things with Sadık to woo Herakles. It doesn't work very well. Herakles: "I know it's magic, that's not impressing me - Okay, it is kinda cool, but you're still a dick." Dilan: "But a dick with a cool sidekick, come ON! What else do you want me to do to make the nerd viable?!" Sadık: "You call that wingmanning?!"

- Once Dilan realizes dickbags Athanasios and Salvatore are, she also uses little magic tricks to continously make their lives worse. Ironically, this may be what finally endears her and Sadık to Herakles. (If you haven't noticed, he doesn't like his father very much and Athanasios doesn't care for him aside from being a political pawn).

- At one point, Michele shows up at court! Herakles is overjoyed to see his childhood friend, which he hadn’t seen in years! Sadık is absolutely not, because it looks like just when he and Herakles almost had something, this twat shows up and steals the show!

- Dilan: "Well, I can't make him not love this dude, but I could beat the dude up." Sadık: " ... keep that in mind."

- However, when Dilan goes to investigate what Michele is doing here (and wingwomanning again), this ensues: Dilan: "Hey brah, what's up, why so blue looking? Is it because your boo just told you you ain't his number one anymore?" Michele: "I, eh ... no ... May I ask who you are?" Dilan: "Just one of the servants of the insanely charming and powerful - and hairy - Prince who's here to marry the Prince. Yep, he's sooo gonna marry that guy." Dilan: "There was a whole musical number about it, you should have seen it, I was on top of my game." Michele: "Sure heard about it, you stirred up trouble here. Hope it helps ... I'm not saying that Herakles should marry someone his dad set in front of him, but it'd be nice if he found someone at last. He told me he was very lonely the last years ... I don't want to leave him behind just as lonely again." Dilan: "Yeah, it'd be - Leave him behind?"

- Dilan: "Good news! His loverboy is not here to stay! He wants to go to the west, he's just here because of his terrible dad!" Sadık: "Oh, that's good! Wait ... isn't his father that asshole of an advisor?" Dilan: "Yeah. Why." Sadık: "The guy who wanted to marry his son to Herakles since apparently forever?" Dilan: "Yeah, but his son is not going to marry him." Sadık: "I smell a trap 10 miles against the wind."

- There is no trap however. Herakles realizes that the crush on Michele is nothing but a childhood crush and has to be left in the past … and that he wants to move forward with Sadık. When he wants a conversation one-on-one, Dilan wants to make it a one-on-two, but Herakles asks her if she doesn’t want to keep Michele company in the gardens, it’s not gonna take long, an hour or two at most. Then she can also fetch Michele when they’re done, so that Herakles can say goodbye before he leaves for Sicily.

- Dilan thinks about it, finds it’s not a trap (and if it was, nothing she and her fists couldn’t solve) and goes in the garden. There she talks with Michele and makes the mistake to either show off her magic powers, tell Michele of TurGre’s meetugly (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha) or to be like: “Hey, do you wanna know a cool secret? Sadık isn’t a Prince, all of this is my doing. Pretty cool, eh?”

- Unfortunately, they’re not alone. Salvatore was searching for Michele in the gardens, to get his “fucking rotten brat of a son” to play along after all instead of disappearing once again. So he overhears this. Salvatore: "Oh, so Prince Sadık is not a Prince? That's a funny joke indeed and I'll laugh my ass off the hardest in the end."

- So just when Herakles and Sadık had time to talk about their feelings and confess and, also, you know, make out and fumble for good measure, they get interrupted. Literally when Herakles was finally stripped down to his tunic and Sadık slid his hand underneath it.

- Athanasios: "This is gonna be the last wall you breached, you little rat." Herakles: "Dad! Stop it!" Athanasios: "This man nearly ruined our dynasty. Arrest him." Salvatore: "Arrest the man indeed. Go and get the ex-emperor." Athanasios: "Ex-Prince. It's not the right time for your snark." Salvatore: "I'm not talking about that small fish. Guards - arrest this careless idiot who nearly ruined our city by letting a scammer into its walls! Clearly the emperor's been in on this and can't be trusted!" Athanasios: "You've lost your mind." Salvatore: "You've lost yours and it's actually the thing you'll miss the least when syphilis is going to eat away the last of your rotten brain in the dungeons. So get him! And that ottoman faker, too, just get the trash out of here."

- The scene ends rather dramatically, because I love the thought of Michele and Dilan rushing to their help, but they get held back. Dilan maybe gets restrained by some anti-magic stuff. And Dilan begs Sadık to use his last wish to help him. To solve this problem. But Sadık refuses, because he promised to use it to set her free. So Dilan is just livid and upset, distraught, yelling at him to let her do something while he gets taken to the dungeons.

- So now Salvatore’s in charge and setting his plans into motion. PR is of course the first thing that needs to be done, so there’s a speech to Constantinople’s masses: "But, as you know, I respect and regard the royal family, the entire dynasty, more than any of you! So I am not going to assume power, it'd be a crime against God himself who granted us this emperor, if I had removed him for anything but his unstable condition and his tragic mistake of almost letting his lineage being tainted! Not to mention that this would have been the end of our beloved empire, our city, suddenly overrun and ruled by those barbarians! No, of course I'll give my power to the true heir who was merely a victim to his father's incompetence. To prove I really mean it, I'm even going to give up my son to the Prince, to forever bind my loyality to the throne!"

- Michele: "I hold no more respect for you as father as I did when we left. I'm not going to play along your perverted plan." Salvatore: "Well Michele, if you don't respect me as father, then maybe you'll respect me as the Roman Emperor!"

- Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Athanasios and Sadık have some great chitchat. Sadık: "Guess that's some quality father and son in law bonding time, eh?” S:“Though I'm pretty sure your son would rather call me daddy than you." A: "Once this entire drama is over, I'll have you decapitated. Or just kick you back to your people and let them handle this." S: "Ah, but when I came here as a fake prince, your arms and gates were wide open. Should've listened to your son when he told you so."

- Here’s also some Salvatore content: Athanasios: "And now you strut around in my clothes. I'm surprised they even fit you fatass!" Salvatore: "Oh, the entire imprisonment is really getting to you, ain't it, emperor tightlips? Ah, I meant - ex-emperor tight lips. Now you've sunk low enough to insult me with such details. Is it because you have nothing else left now that you're off your high horse?" Salvatore: "I thought so. At least you're enough of a sound mind to not threaten me with 'once I get out of here' hot air. Because we both know you're not getting out of here in a lifetime anymore. And yes, I’m wearing your rags, since I’ve got no time to waste.” Salvatore to Sadık: "Actually, it's sad that you aren't going to be there to watch it. Although, I think a public execution would just spice the entire wedding festivities up, if I think about it."

- Ah yes. The wedding. Herakles: "You look great today, my love. Like a polished jewel." Michele: "Thanks. I'd never seen a man more handsome than you though. Truly, a prince with all his qualities seen right away." Both: -sigh- Ft. Dilan, who’s just watching the kids sadly and is trying to reassure them she got this, she’s gonna find a way, it’ll be fine!!!

- Herakles and Michele wonder why Sadık didn't use that wish. To which Dilan replies he said he'd free her with it, but she didn't believe he'd actually uphold that promise. And he shouldn't have because now she's useless and he's in trouble. (And Hera only falls more in love with Sadık, because being a good person is HELLA swoony.)

- Dilan also tries to cheer them up and I believe she can still do small magic tricks, she just can't get out of whatever shackles/confinement she is in. So when she isn't despairing or raging, she tries to cheer Herakles and Michele up with some silly little tricks. She shapeshifts into their fathers to make fun of them. Which leads them to an idea ...

- I have no idea what it is though. I only know that the grand final and resolution involves shapeshifting. If anyone who's better at plots wants to give me ideas, please do.

- However they manage to stop Salvatore's machinations, this is what follows: Salvatore gets thrown into the dungeons. Herakles decides to not let his father out and instead take the crown himself. He becomes emperor and marries Sadık. Sadık uses his last wish to set Dilan free. Michele goes to travel to Sicily, promising he’ll write letters to them and come visit some day (Dilan promises the same).

- The end of Salvatore and Athanasios rotting in jail together is SO satisfying to me, bc now that they are useless to each other, there is nothing left to do but be a pain in each other’s ass. They hate each other and they DESERVE EACH OTHER.

Sequel Bait:

- Before we get to the sequel bait, let me give you some prequel bait for a change. Here's a little "what if one of the many suitable matches for Herakles had been one of the Beilschmidt brothers" scenario. Plus free medieval history lesson:

- Now for the actual sequel: Three years come and go. Herakles and Sadık settle in their new rules as emperor and ... emperor's husband. (I don't know if Byzantine empresses were "put into office" in the same way the Emperor was. If someone is more knowledgeable about this than me, correct me).

- Their marriage is going swell, however both struggle in their new official roles. Herakles faces all the administrative problems and tough decisionmaking that comes with being a ruler, while Sadık struggles to be accepted by the people of Constantinople. Where Herakles tends to take care of the court, Sadık tries his hand at being a military leader.

- One morning, Sadık wakes up with Herakles in the room. Which should not be surprising, if it wasn't for the fact that Herakles had left the city yesterday. He's oddly nonchalant about it when Sadık asks him and also ... weirdly chipper? Eager? Kitschy in his flirting? He's at first flattered, but soon very confused by everything and wonders if either he hit his head real hard in his sleep or if Herakles fell off his horse when he tried to make it out of the city.

- Turns out none of it, because after some more eyelash fluttering, his "husband" goes POOF! and turns out to be Dilan, who's on the floor laughing. "You should have seen your stupid face! Really! Wait, I'll show you!"

- After Dilan is done shapeshifting into Sadık, absolutely overacting his reaction and argueing with him about it, they finally get to catch up. Turns out that Dilan was bored by travelling around the world and wanted to check in on her old buddy.

- She couldn't have chosen a more opportune time to do so. Once Herakles returns, he ... at first has a weird reunion with his husband. Sadık is kind of wary around him and starts to list his attitude and general personality traits/ticks as proof for ... something. Takes a while for Herakles to get the news that Dilan is back, too.

- Herakles is very relieved to hear that! He wanted to confide something in Sadık, because after he had returned to the city, someone had taken him aside. Natasa Simonides, an old and trusted courtly advisor, needed help. Recently, her husband Ibrahim disappeared and she's worried.

- Natasa also told Herakles a secret: Ibrahim is a Jinn, which is why his disappearance worries her even more. Herakles informs Sadık and asks Dilan if she knows anything, but she sadly hasn't heard anything either. - Before she can zip off and see if she can find Ibrahim, Herakles asks another favour of her - to educate Natasa's twins, Timothea Farah and Omar Veniam instead. Natasa thinks they may be able to find their father, but they don't know they're half-Jinn, so they'd need some guidance. Dilan happily agrees to be their teacher!

- My only more in-depth infos on Jinn and their children with humans comes from this Monstrum video by PBS Storied. I don't think Thea & Omar would need to be taught by anyone to be seers and how to be in communication with non-human spheres, but it makes for a better story.

- So Dilan is off to teach the kids while Sadık volunteers to go and search for Ibrahim. Herakles resumes his imperial role in the city.

- It's not really fun and as the people become more and more agitated with the status quo, more and more people "remember" that the old emperor is still around. Enough people are going "What's that kid knowing anyways?! All those highfangled ideas and useless reforms, for what?" that a select few decide to stage a coup by releasing Athanasios from the dungeons.

- Now, I still haven't decided if Salvatore also gets let out. The problem is that I really would begrudge him his freedom ... but I also begrudge Athanasios his freedom! It doesn't feel fair that one bastard gets to walk free and the other doesn't!

- Out in the field, Sadık isn't having much more luck. No Jinn in sight and the trouble he has with a few of the men that accompany him keeps him thinking about the acceptance problems again. He really wishes at one point that Herakles wasn't emperor at all. You can imagine how terrible he feels for these thoughts when news of the coup catches up to them. Be careful what you wish for and all that jazz. On top of that, he gets into trouble as well - betrayed by some of the men he had taken along. He gets stuck in some place like a cave or an abandoned house he was investigating ...

- Sadık finds a large sealed bottle and thinks 'Well, what's the worst that could happen?' He is greeted by a GIANT cloud of smoke instead of anything edible/drinkable. By the time the cloud is human-shaped, he already has a giant grin on his face. Sadık: "Hah! I have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff!" Jinn: "Greetings, mor-" Sadık: "Yeah, yeah, quick question, is your name Ibrahim? Or do you know one of your kind called Ibrahim who's been passing through recently?" Jinn: "My name is Ibrahim - " Sadık: "Great! You know a Greek lady called Natasa? I take that look as a yes. Okay, so first wish is to get us out of here, second wish we'll see, third is like freeing you from the whole servitude bit - You do the three wishes thing, right? Anyways, your wife and kids are wishing for dad to come home, so get us out of here, you'll get explanations on the way back."

- In the meantime, Dilan and her protégés, along with Natasa and Herakles, have been trying to figure out how to solve the problem at court. It doesn't help that the news of Sadık's troubles also reached them (I know the speed of spreading information may be historically hella inaccurate, but I need it for the drama). So Dilan is torn between helping her best bud and helping the rest at court. The Greeks cook up a plan and assure her that she should go and help Sadık, they've got this.

- The plan is to get Athanasios to do something incredibly stupid that would immediately turn the people against him. They exploit the fact that Athanasios likes to listen to words that fall from pretty lady's mouths. So Timothea flatters her eyelashes and promises to tell him something of a vision she had ... that the divine has something to tell him through her. (Don't worry for her, she may have to endure his fingers under her chin, which is infuriating and nauseous enough, but no more skin contact than this). Thea gets backed by her brother to lend it more credibility once Athanasios considers with his head and not his dick.

- And we can all appreciate that Dilan has been sent away, otherwise the scene would have been like this: Thea: "The spirits are talking to me about you ... " Dilan: "Mhm, mhm, indeed, I can hear them to. They're saying that you're a bitch!"

- Dilan in the meantime reaches Sadık, Ibrahim and those of his troop that haven't betrayed and abandoned him as soon as they heard of the coup. A little happy reunion before she immediately fills them in on what's happening.

- They come up with a plan themselves to finally get rid of Athanasios and the Simonides and Herakles have begun to sweat a little back home, because Athanasios mistake of listening to the twins' advice has bought them time, but not really solved the problem yet. Which is when Dilan and Ibrahim sweep in, concocting an illusion powerful enough to wrap up everyone in Constantinople and make Athanasios seem like the literal devil. Some mass-hallucination miracle bullshit, truly, to assert that he doesn't deserve the throne.

- Maybe for good measure, Athanasios disappears after the illusion is over. Dilan and Ibrahim have no idea where he went, they say with a smile.

- Another grand finale! The four lovers are reunited, Thea and Omar are overjoyed to have their dad back and he is overjoyed to have his kids back. When Dilan tells the Simonides twins that they did a great job, she's a good teacher after all haha!, Ibrahim and Natasa invite her to stay. Dilan says that they don't need her, surely, now that Ibrahim can teach them, but Ibrahim says he could use some help. Herakles also encourages her, saying that he'd love to have her at court - and Sadık also bullies her into staying. "What do you wanna do, see the world again? Didn't do much for your peanut brain the first time around, maybe hit the books together with Hera so that you'll be a passable teacher some day."

- Dilan and Omar also have evolved a crush on one another during this entire mess. That's what I'll leave you with - all well that ends well.

Also hey you! Thanks for reading all of this! Here's a little bonus content if you made it this far!

A wonderful fanart of Michele and Salvatore by my beloved friend C0FFINATED over on twitter!

Here's an amazing commission of the Greeks and Turks by @captkirkland ! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to repost the pictures myself on tumblr & you shoud reblog it from him anyways. Show him and his amazing art some love! From left to right it's Timothea, Herakles, Omar, then Dilan, Sadık and Havva (who's not featured in this AU, rip. Things would have worked to well with their brainpower).

Thanks for reading this! Hope you have a wonderful day!

[banashee]

Hi Folks, welcome to my first fic for the Archival Pride 2021 project! Look at their tumblr for more info :) @archivalpride

Archival Pride 2021, Week one (June 1-7) Prompts: friendship, pre-canon, self-expression, affirmation and sharing clothes.

The key words I've used here are mostly sharing clothes, self-expression, affirmation and friendship

Also, I'm late for week one! My Fucking WIFI broke so you'll get two fics for this week...

-

Content warnings: this is mostly tooth rotting fluff but just to be safe: - mentions of Top Surgery - hints at dead and/or unaccepting families but nothing explicit

-

 "You mean, OUR closet"

 It happens like clockwork. Ever since the four of them moved in together, as soon as the weather gets cold and the leaves outside start to turn golden-red, the usually sizable stack of woolen jumpers in Martin's closet seems to magically shrink. One day, they’re there and the next day, there are suddenly only a few left. Every year – it’s gotten to be a routine, and it makes Martin smile and shake his head fondly each and every time again.

 Over the warmer months, the jumpers just sit there in the closet, carefully tucked away. Only a few of them are store bought at this point - Martin tends to knit them himself, and he’s spent weeks and months of his life making them. This is probably one of the many reasons why Jon, Tim and Sasha tend to steal them so much - they’re part of him, for one, and apparently they miss each other as soon as someone leaves the room or something. (Codependency issues? Them? Nah) the jumpers are also warm and big and they “feel like a permanent hug”, so what else is there to say? It’s adorable, really.

 And Martin will say this as often as he can, if only so he can watch Tim go scarlet red (as smooth as he usually is, cute compliments like this get to him more than he cares to admit), watch Jon splutter and claim “I am not, nor have they ever been adorable!” – Unlucky for them, no one else agrees, and so they’re stuck with three partners who will tell them as much at any given opportunity. Sasha, on the other hand, is having way too much fun with this and will go “Aww, shucks.” Every time, just to see her favourite people blush even more.

   The thing is, Martin owns plenty of woolen jumpers; he likes them because they’re warm and comfy, which is always a plus. To a certain degree, they’re pure self-preservation as well. The heating in the Archives breaks constantly, and oftentimes, it stays that way for days. They need to bundle up then, and drink more tea and coffee than any human should. Those days leave all of them freezing their butts off, and having something warm and cozy to wrap around themselves helps a lot. But their own woolen jumpers or even outdoor jackets aren’t nearly as warm and comfortable as Martin’s. His clothes are just the softest, and so, he knows to expect them to migrate to his partners when a certain time of year hits.

 On a more personal note for him, the loose fit of the knitted jumpers helps him a lot on days when the body dysmorphia gets bad. Those days have gotten less now – especially since he’s had top surgery – but it’s still nice to have something comforting around. Just in case.

 And then, of course there is the simple fact that he likes the aesthetic. “Retro-Aesthetic” as his partners tend to call it, and really, it is kind of accurate.

   Right now, Martin is standing in front of the open closet in his underwear and is absolutely not surprised to find some of his jumpers already gone. There is no doubt that, as soon as he gets back downstairs he’ll find everyone else wrapped up in at least one of his jumpers. Sneaky, the whole lot of them.

     The weather has turned quite rapidly in the last few days. That morning, they wake up and the cold wind has creeped in through the open window, leaving the entire bedroom freezing. If it wasn’t for the many, many blankets, they would wake up with their limbs frozen off, but by now, there are at least three or four blankets available at any given time. That is, because      certain people     tend to steal the covers in their sleep, but no one would look at Tim or Jon, oh no, of course not.

 These two are frequently playing tug of war at night, which is why they often end up in the middle of their sleeping arrangements. That way, there are at least some chances to steal the blankets back for everyone else.

 Martin has started to wrap one of the edges around himself in an attempt to keep the blanket there, while Sasha has threatened to staple the bloody thing to the floor on either side of the bed. There is no doubt that she is dead serious about the threat, even when it’s mostly mumbled at 2 in the morning, disgruntled as her face is smushed into whoever is currently closest to her.

 But lucky for them, body heat is the best source of warmth, and there is plenty of it available in their family. Especially Tim and Martin run hot as it is, which is why Sasha and Jon lovingly call the two of them their Human Heaters on a regular basis.

   Sasha is always happy for more warmth - she’s not cold very often, but she loves being close to the other three.

 There are no romantic or sexual feelings from her side - it’s just not how she works. But her feelings towards those three people in her life are different from Just Friendship, and she loves them all dearly. Just… Not in a romantic kind way, but it is nice to share a life with people who know, understand and love her back just as much and just as she is.

 It’s only when she wakes up in the middle of the night with no blanket anywhere to be found that she wants to strangle someone. Temporarily.

   Jon, on the other hand, is pretty much always cold. They’re “made of nothing but bones and sharp edges” as Tim so eloquently put it, earning himself a jab from one of said sharp elbows into his ribs. It only makes him laugh, loud and carefree as he is, as he pulls Jon into his arms and smothers them in kisses until they laugh and complain half-heartedly. They don’t mind it at all.

 So if they’re not currently stealing blankets, Jon clings. Like an octopus, to whomever they can reach easiest.

   So this is how they wake up that morning:

 There is a fresh, icy wind coming in through the window while under the small mountain of blankets, the four of them are wrapped up around one another, noses pressed into the warmth of each other's necks or into the chest of soft shirts. Hands that cling or seek warmth on bare skin under ancient T-shirts or pyjamas.

 Sasha wakes up first, entirely uninterested in getting out of bed as soon as she realizes how cold the room has gotten over night. Only half awake, she moves closer to Tim and wraps her arms and legs around him. Her warm breath is tickling his neck, but he is long used to being surrounded by warmth and people - he loves it. Loves them, most of all.

 Tim can’t move much. He’s got Sasha clinging to his back and he can tell that she is already dozing off again. While he wakes up to that realization, he does so with a face full of long, curly salt and pepper hair and a pair of arms wrapped around his middle.

 Jon is still dead to the world, happily wedged in between Tim and Martin. Even if they were awake, it’s highly unlikely they would be able to move a limb at this point. Lucky for everyone else, due to the circumstances, they leave the blankets alone for once. They’re warm and dead asleep and Tim’s hands are busy holding both them and Sasha’s forearm around him. One of Martin's arms is stretched out in his sleep, resting near him as he provides another comfortable weight and source of heat.

 Between their shared breaths and heartbeats, flailing limbs and two cats curled up by their feet, waking up is a comfortably lazy thing today. Neither of them needs to be anywhere - it’s a long weekend, and so they’re taking the opportunity to start their day out as slowly as possible.

   And this is how Martin finds himself in front of his side of the closet, finding a small stack of his jumpers missing. The one on top is a jumper he knitted early in the year, after receiving several balls of really good wool for Christmas from Tim. Light blue, white and pink - more than enough for a jumper and maybe a scarf or gloves. Martin still has some of it left over, but the majority of this gift is now in his hands, in the form of a thick, woolen jumper in his pride colours. Needless to say, he loves the thing.

   On his way down the stairs, Martin is joined by Crumpet. The tiny black void had been dozing in the mess of their unmade bed until recently, but as soon as Martin is on the way down, she magically wakes up with a small “mrrp?”, jumps off of the bed with light feline feet and is glued to his heels just a split second later. Maybe there is hope for some treats - as if there wasn’t a blackboard in the kitchen for this very reason.

     “The sneaky bastards have been fed, DO NOT fall for their foul play.”     is written on it in big bold letters next to shopping lists and lopsidedly drawn hearts, checked off with a bright green checkmark twice a day. To outsiders, it might seem excessive, but they have developed this system for very good reason. Especially at first, the pitiful meows and empty food bowls had been enough to convince whichever human was closest that it was time for food, the mistake only being discovered after a few days of rapidly shrinking cat food supplies and two fat and lazy cats rolling about in a cozy corner. Hence, the blackboard.

   Now, Crumpet is making zig-zag-lines down the stairs, conveniently getting in the way wherever Martin is stepping until he scoops her up into his arms with a small sigh.

 “Crumpet, my Love. You’ll make us both fall down the stairs. That is illegal in this household.”  He tells her seriously and Crumpet meows, as if in protest.

 “Yes, yes, I know. Cat crimes are what you do. The answer is still no.” Crumpet meows at him again, but then she proceeds to bump her tiny head against Martins, purring loudly as he scratches her soft chin.

   Halfway down the stairs, Martin can make out the familiar sound of singing from the kitchen. Even after so many years, it makes him smile and wanting to stop in his tracks, just to listen for a bit. Jon has a beautiful voice. It’s one of the, if not      the     first thing that made Martin fall in love with them, and getting to hear them not only talk but sing on a daily basis is… Truly wonderful.

 Martin may or may not be completely besotted, and he knows for a fact that he isn’t alone in that. And really, when he rounds the corner, he finds Tim and Sasha sprawled on the couch, Sasha on her back and with a book in one hand, Tim half-dozing with his head on her chest, but he is still awake enough to listen, judging from the small, content smile on his face.  

 Of course, two of Martin’s missing jumpers are to be found right here with them. Sasha has claimed one of the plain ones, dark green and with a neat Haskell stitch. It suits her really well, even though it dwarves her – which is one more reason she loves it. Sasha is not short at all - but there is still plenty of space for her to wrap up in, which she happily does whenever she can.

 Meanwhile, Tim has put on what Martin calls his “scrap collection”. Frankly, he refuses to even call it a jumper, because what it is, technically, is a bunch of scrap wool in all different colours, shapes and bulk sizes, anything that was a leftover and too little to finish anything with, knitted together into…        Something     with sleeves. The main reason Martin hasn’t thrown it out years ago is that he spent a long time working on it, and besides, even the scraps were expensive once – wool is about the only thing he likes to splurge on for himself sometimes.

 But then, Tim discovered this atrocity in the back of Martin’s closet one winter morning. Of course, he promptly fell in love with the garish colours and it’s kind of charming overall ugliness. Which leads Martin to put it into Tim’s closet after the next wash, but the Scrap Collection Jumper always finds its way back to where it came from, despite the fact that no one else ever wears it.

 “Stealing it is half the fun!” Tim had shrugged when asked, and shot him one of his blinding grins.

   Now, Sasha and Tim look up when Martin enters the living room, and he sets Crumpet down to the floor. Tiny Void that she is, she scrambles right off to jump onto the couch – or rather, on top of Tim, who has already been claimed by their other cat, Gandalf.

 Gandalf is, just like his name suggests, a large, grey Norwegian Forest Cat, sprawled out over the length of Tim’s back. He looks like an old, wise wizard, with a huge beard and knowing eyes and everything. Gandalf is of gentle nature, and despite being impressively large, he is a big old softie. This is one of the reasons for his second, mostly-unofficial name, Professor Floof.

 Crumpet wriggles herself into the tiny space between Gandalf’s front paws, turns on the spot until she happily settles down.

   “I see you have been claimed.” Martin smiles, and he means both Sasha and Tim.

 “Yep! I’m not moving today.” Tim tells him, and pulls on Martin as soon as he is close enough to do so and he bends down for a quick kiss. It is warm and gentle, still tasting a bit of tea.

 “We’ve also got another private kitchen concert to listen to.”  He points out then, and Sasha adds,

 “It’s been Disney songs this whole time. I am      so     glad that you managed to talk Jon into watching those with us.” She smiles, and it only grows wider when the first lines of “I’ll make a man out of you” travel over from the kitchen. Not that anyone would blame Jon for having this particular song stuck in their head – it’s a great song from a great movie, for one, and besides, it’s not like it’s easy to get rid of once it is stuck in someone’s brain.

 Martin settles down on the couch near Sasha and just listens for a bit. A small, happy smile is tugging at his lips. He is happy and content, knowing all of his family near and safe and happy – there really isn’t much more to ask for. Eventually, Sasha’s head finds its way onto his lap, and her book remains forgotten and face down on top of Tim’s head – it doesn’t bother him at all and he doesn’t even comment on it. .

 “It was about time, too. Can’t leave someone in this household having such glaring holes in their cultural knowledge.” She continues from where she left off earlier, leaning back into Martin as she puts the book to the side, properly this time, so that her own hands can find their way to Tim’s messy mop of bright purple. In an instant, it is met with a happy, satisfied hum.

 “Oh, of course not. Speaking of, any idea what they’re doing in there?” Martin asks eventually, nodding over to the half closed kitchen door. It happens sometimes, that Jon disappears in there for hours, doing their thing and refusing help when it’s offered. It’s nothing negative, the others have learned by now; it’s just something relaxing, some “me-time” so to say.

 “Cooking. But they very lovingly kicked us out and didn’t want any help, so here we are.” Tim explains cheerfully, although he is getting slightly groggy from the head scritches and the warmth of two cats dozing on him.

 “I’m sure you’re absolutely heartbroken, having to be all lazy and comfy on a day off.”

 “Oh, how shall we survive this horrible fate?” he laments ironically, face pressed into Sasha as she just laughs at him.

 “Drama Queen.”

   Another song starts, and Martin makes his way into the kitchen. As much as he loves listening and hanging out with Tim and Sasha, he is curious as to what Jon is up to, and besides, he wants to spend time with them as well.

 When he enters the kitchen, he is met with a mess that is very familiar to him by now. As particular as Jon is about most other things in life, cooking isn’t one of them. Or more precisely, they’re particular about the       results     – not how the kitchen looks after they’re finished being a whirlwind of chaos. Today, there are small mountains of chopped vegetables on several wooden cutting boards, about half the contents of their spice rack strewn about the counter, right next to bundles of fresh herbs and the giant pot on the stove. There is another, smaller pan on the stove, and this is where the heavenly scent comes from. It already smells like roasted spices, and there is no doubt that the mouthwatering smell will creep out the door as Martin opens it further.

 Jon turns around when they notice movement out of the corner of their eye, without missing a beat or stopping their song, but there is a happy sparkle in their eyes that seems to get even brighter when they spot Martin.

 Surprising absolutely no one, they are currently wearing a stolen jumper as well. It’s one of the older ones, one of the first jumpers that Martin ever made – it’s far from perfect and nearly falls apart at this point, but it is still warm and comfortable. Well worn – which is the reason Jon loves this one so much. They have to fold over the sleeves to be able to use their hands, and the whole thing – dark purple wool with black, white and grey flecks throughout – hangs off of Jon’s small frame and makes them look even smaller than they actually are. But they love it, and much like when Martin attempted to give the other jumper to Tim, he put this one into Jon’s closet. But much like their other partner, they’d put it back into Martins space with identical reasoning:

 “Stealing it is half the fun, Love.”

 Martin doesn’t even question it anymore – and really, he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind it at all. And if he notices his partners buying sleep shirts and such in sizes they wouldn’t usually wear, well. He recognizes it as his invitation to join in on the fun, and he does.

 There really is something exciting about squirreling away something that’s usually worn by a loved one, even when it’s something they’d lend out with no questions asked. Especially then, because as the others have truthfully informed him, stealing the clothes from your partners is half the fun.

   Right now, Martin is standing in the kitchen, surrounded by a hot mess that includes one of his favorite people in the world, and they only stop singing for a moment, wrapping themselves around Martin like the affectionate octopus they can be when the mood strikes them. Not like he is about to complain.

 He happily hugs back, nose buried in the messy bun that Jon haphazardly piled up on top of their head earlier that day. The long familiar scent of shampoo and conditioner is still lingering, and Martin can’t help but kiss Jon right at this moment. They happily let him, and Martin rubs small, gentle circles on their back, aware of the soft, warm material of the jumper under his hands.

 Another reason Jon loves this particular jumper so much, Martin knows, is because its colours resemble the Ace Pride flag. This isn’t even on purpose – it’s just how the wool looks. But there is no one in this household who isn’t happy about the smallest bit of affirmation of their identities, and as soon as Jon gets their hands on the jumper, well, you know how it goes.

   Almost as predicted, Jon kicks Martin out of the room just as lovingly as they did Tim and Sasha, but only after more kisses and a brief but passionate duet as Martin makes tea for everyone, now that he’s here.

 Back in the living room, Tim and Sasha thoroughly enjoy their private concert, snuggled up on the couch together and with their two fuzzy companions. Happiness can’t even begin to describe the feelings that bloom in both of their chests, as well as their partners back in the kitchen.

   Later that day, the four of them are sprawled out on the couch, plates full with the Vegetarian Kadai that Jon prepared earlier. As secretive as they can be about their cooking sometimes, the one guarantee about it is that it’s always good. Today is no different.

 Everyone tucks in, knowing that there will be plenty left still. More often than not, they end up freezing the leftovers, so they can have fresh, wonderful food whenever they want without the hassle – some days just are like that, and the energy can be low then. Everyone has bad days every now and then, but the knowledge that they are not alone, that they are loved and have a functioning support system, both at home and at work, helps a lot. Together, they always manage somehow.

   They are family, the four of them, in any sense of the word. Neither of them has much of a family left that is related in blood – there are several reasons for this, and it hurts sometimes. Some days more than others, but by now, they have found one another and built their own family. They love and support one another, in so many different ways, but what it boils down to is just this. Family.

 One Bisexual Man, one Pansexual Trans Man, one Biromantic Asexual Nonbinary Person and one Aromantic Asexual Woman – they’re a colorful rainbow mix, and they wouldn’t want it any other way.

[takaraphoenix]

*chanting* Danny Phantom, Danny Phantom, Danny---

Let me set the stage. The year is 2014, a friend of mine has successfully not just convinced me to watch this cartoon but also introduced me to the baffling concept that wait in this fandom, selfcest exists and is like vaguely popular? I was delighted!

So this story took off after 02x06 Identity Crisis, when Danny’s ghost and human side were split in canon. Phantom started to develop more of an on personality in Danny’s mind, a comforting presence, but they were now two souls trapped in one body. And, here’s where my memory fails me a bit on the “how?” but somehow, they would manage to split into two separate bodies, one full ghost, one full human.

The endgame was that they get married and adopt and raise Dani together, like on the very long run. And yes, long, because this was supposed to be a rewrite of the entire consequent show post 02x06.

And though I only ever got three pages written, the document has remained in my folder for those past six years, because I did make notes on the changes I had planned throughout the show and I guess that a part of me remained hopeful that hey, just maybe once I rewatch the show, I’ll get back into it and actually finish it.

(...man I really hope the vase metaphor makes sense. I had, still have, a very clear visual picture of what I meant with that xD”) But here, have a snippet:

--

It had started out how everything that ended in chaos, catastrophes and crisis in his life had always started. With one of his parents' inventions. Of course it did, it had to.

The Fenton Ghost Catcher.

The first time he became they. Splitting one person into two different, separate beings.

Sometimes Danny wondered if Sam and Tucker truly believed that going through the catcher again (and again because the second time had failed in the most confusing and weird way. Which was saying a lot considering the first time) would simply fix things again? Make them one again?

How could it? It had created two separate entities. Splitting his personality.

Phantom had explained it to Danny the first time he had asked what this meant, how this was possible. Right after the two of them had gone through the catcher to 'fix things', just to notice that Danny wasn't alone in his mind anymore. That he was hearing a voice, a voice he wasn't controlling, one that spoke to him. Another mind inside his head. Phantom's mind.

Now, Phantom had explained it with a metaphor. He had described them as a vase – which was weird for Danny, but he had gone with it and listened patiently anyway. A white vase. Danny Fenton was the vase and when he had gone into the ghost portal for the first time, one half of that white vase had been painted black. Creating Danny Phantom. Now that vase was facing society with its white side, everyone who walked past it saw a white vase. If someone came and just spun the vase around once, everyone who would walk past that vase would see a black vase. Just like when Danny would 'go ghost', turning human Danny into ghost Danny.

Going through the Fenton Ghost Catcher was like breaking the vase, a clear cut right in the middle. But it was more than just breaking the vase, it was like fixing each half with a flat part to close it, creating two working vases that coexisted. Going through the Ghost Catcher again didn't just put the vase back into its original form though, it just took the two fixed-up vases and glued the flat sides together. It looked like one, whole vase again and they couldn't stand beside one another anymore, but the water one poured into the white half wouldn't fill the black half. They were still two different vases, just now stuck together again.

And so were Danny and Phantom now. Two minds forced back into one head. And just like the vase, the half turned to the front was the half 'in charge'. When the black half of the vase was turned to the front, filled with water and holding the flowers, that was when Danny would go ghost from now on. Giving the reins over to Phantom, who took charge of their body.

Danny was a freaking vase.

It gave him a headache, really, so he decided to just nod and agree. They had been split and they couldn't be put back together to one, he got it that far. At first, that annoyed and scared him. Because there was that constant, nagging voice – Phantom had a lot to complain and it distracted Danny from the actual situation he was in, causing Mister Lancer, his parents and his friends to scold him for spacing out. What scared him however was the essential question.

Was he still himself? Had the split taken part of his personality away from him, given it to Phantom? Was he still the person he thought he was? But no one noticed a change in him. Where Tucker had claimed the human Danny to be 'fun Danny' before, now he and everyone else seemed to see Danny as just Danny. But that had only unsettled him even more.

If nothing of his personality was missing, then what exactly was Phantom?

“I'm not you. We're not split anymore. We're both separate people now, Danny. Why can't you wrap our head around that? I explained it often enough by now”, complained Phantom's voice annoyed.

Because it was strange and weird and confusing, really. Wouldn't that mean they weren't the ones who had come out of the Catcher after all? Because Danny wasn't so careless and uninterested in saving lives anymore, he was back to his overly worried and self-sacrificing self. And Phantom had finally stopped with his stupid alliterations, he still spoke a little high-and-mighty and seemed more intelligent than Danny though (if Danny was being honest, which he didn't like, because seriously, he wasn't even the cleverest person in his own mind anymore. How was that fair?).

“We evened out. Like the vases. I don't feel like you truly grasp the metaphor, do you? I've really tried putting it simple for you, Danny. We were fixed, like the two halves of the vase. Being glued together again changed our dynamic once more, just like breaking us apart had. We were two extremes – the heroic ghost and the carefree human. Now you're as much a complete person as I am, even though we have been split from the same. I am still the hero and protector of Amity, but it's not the only interest I have anymore. Just like you have concerns for other things aside from fun”, replied Phantom, sounding bored. “However, we adjusted differently. Not evening out to be exact copies of one another. Now we're two different people.”

Two different people, but stuck in one mind.

“You're not happy with that, I gathered as much”, sighed Phantom.

“It's not that”, muttered Danny beneath his breath, knowing it wasn't necessary for him to talk out loud, but very much feeling like this was important enough to be properly discussed. “I... like having you around. But it's just... draining. And confusing. I think Jazz is that short of stuffing us into a straight-jacket, you know? I'm worried about that. And it's depressing that I'm the only one who can hear you when we talk, which did lead to the whole Jazz wanting us in a straight-jacket thing to begin with. And sometimes I just... want you there, like physically there, when I talk with Tuck and Sam, because you're like the only one who really understand me, you know? Like, they can be really stubborn and they don't get me, but I know you would and you would be able to explain stuff in a way they'd get it too, because you're just better at those things...”

In Danny's mind, he could picture Phantom grinning at that. If Phantom would be here now, he so would be rolling his eyes and grinning, Danny just knew it. And it irritated him that he couldn't see it. But the Ghost Catcher was broken, had been broken a couple days ago. And there was no other way either of them could think of to separate them.

--

Send me a document title from my WIP folder and ask me about it! If I can, I’ll provide a snippet!  

[astrologista]

Kristoph Gavin Character Analysis I

Part 1 of... fucking infinity, I hate this bitch so much lmao.

Well, it's Halloween time and I just thought, why not. So let's answer this question.

What makes Kristoph Gavin a scary character/villain? A soft spoken gentleman with a deadly secret... the Devil, who lives in his hand, that crazy evil scar thing, his creepy music theme... damn, he’s a scary dude. But scariest of all? His psychology, as we all know. (This is mostly gonna be headcanons. but ya know what, I have a license (hands you a piece of paper that says ‘i can do what i want’))

Kristoph seems like a person who is very aloof, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. At first he kind of just seems like the typical anime glasses guy whose main emotion is like whooa he does the glare thing with his glasses sometimes. But... what is he really about?

You know, let me digress for a moment, what's really interesting to me about the AA characters is how much depth they have in their writing. Case in point, Adrian Andrews. There's a character who you assume is just going to be the typical "anime glasses girl" who is a career woman who don't need no man, and is very aloof, cool, and as she says, not concerned with irrelevant topics or things. Later you learn about the true depths to her personality. The fact that she is codependent, that she needs other people telling her what to do in order to survive. Just because she masks these emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. I felt that really gave a lot of depth to her character and added another dimension that stories in this genre don't often address as boldly or fully (especially when it comes to a female character). So the quality of the writing is always really top notch with only a few exceptions. Take this as context...

Now getting back to Kristoph Gavin. Typical anime glasses dude, right? But no, though. One of the reasons why he's so interesting to me is how his emotional understanding of personal relationships really works. Or seems to, anyway. Based on the endgame testimony and his crimes, Kristoph Gavin is extremely dangerous because, should you get involved with him in any way, he will never, ever let go of you, ever. Once you are entangled with him he wants you to stay entangled, not unlike an overbearing parent who refuses to let you go. It's partly that he thinks he knows what's best for you (that is, to stay completely loyal to him). And also partly... because he is pretty dependent on what other people think of him. So he needs to keep them around him closely.

Kristoph's biggest fear was his lying being exposed for what it was. That Phoenix was really the honest, straightforward attorney, and not him. Kristoph would do anything to perpetuate his own false reality. He kept it going for seven years. His absolute worst fear of all was losing his reputation. Being seen for what he truly was in front of others. He could never accept that. That fear drove all of his murders. Fundamentally, he sees himself as benevolent... when nothing could be further from the truth of how he was hurting everyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.

Kristoph has a need to perpetuate this false identity of himself above all else. A very adjacent second goal to that is to keep all of his personal associates very close and under his control in order to keep the first goal intact.

Reject him and he will stalk you until you are dead. By his hand, or otherwise. Slight him, and he will get you at the first opportunity, case in point, Zak Gramarye. (He only had to get a quick glance at the guy and his fate was sealed. Turnabout Trump is a chilling case.) Replace him, and he will tear your life and livelihood up into little itty bitty pieces. He will then continue to stalk you aggressively for seven years while pretending he is your best friend. Case in point, Phoenix Wright.

Create false evidence for him and you become a loose end. So does your daughter. Like I said, just don't get involved with him. If he feels threatened, Kristoph Gavin will not hesitate to end you. It's definitely an obsession. I mean the first word that comes to people's minds when it comes to Kristoph usually isn't "obsessed", because he gives off the aura of being calm and uninterested. But he is, he's obsessed. You have to be obsessed to do what he did. This shit consumed his every waking hour, and that's what he won't admit. That he was so sick, he completely lost the plot. Phoenix was already living in his head rent free the day he ordered the forgery. And even though Phoenix wasn't physically present at the Misham trial and was only watching everything by video camera, you can bet Kristoph was seeing Phoenix. Hallucinating him, images of him. Probably multiple images of him. That's how obsessive. Imagine letting something or someone control you to that extent. Imagine thinking that you're so important, that Phoenix taking Zak Gramarye's case at all was meant to be a slight against you personally. (It's funny because Phoenix mentions not even knowing Kristoph at all until after the disbarment. So Kristoph's own logic in thinking that Phoenix was just out to shame him absolutely doesn't track. Ob-sessed, dude.)  

It's actually pretty astonishing that someone like Apollo made it out alive. On a side note, I really think Kristoph enjoyed having someone to mentor. He sought someone like Apollo out. Someone naive and new to the field for him to indoctrinate. And maybe I have a post about that later, cuz that's a whole 'nother barrel of monkeys right there. (It kind of involves Apollo’s naivete (also, daddy issues, hello.) being a huge reason why he would gravitate towards having a mentor known for having a “caring” personality. And I think Apollo genuinely liked that about him, which makes the end result so much more awful for Apollo to deal with because to him, that was real.)

But now think of Klavier, right. Being forced to grow up with that. To live with that your entire life. To have a familial relationship that is that smothering, that suffocating, that strangling. That controlling, to criticize every single thing that you do or say right down to the way you say it. And remember... He's never letting you go. I would go on a world tour as a rock star, too. Anything to be anywhere he isn't. This is horror movie tier stuff. (now im imagining a horror movie trailer for aa4 focusing on gavins stuff... eep!)

And Kristoph Gavin markets himself as someone who simply doesn't care. He's the coolest defense in the west and he doesn't care for what you may think about it. Except... he does care. It totally consumes him. Your perception, your opinion, is everything to him. He has shitty self esteem, deep down, because he knows Phoenix is better than him. And tries to mask it with narcissism as the two duke it out. Appearances are everything, evidence is everything. What people think is true is the only thing that matters, truth doesn't. And it makes sense that his closest contacts and associates are the targets for his constant narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Their opinions matter even more than the common crowd - of course, Kristoph hates them. Which makes it even worse for him when the jury decides unanimously that Vera is innocent (and by implication, he is therefore guilty). The jury verdict was kind of like the ultimate confirmation that guess what, the evidence doesn't matter. The common and boorish masses have passed judgement, no matter how "mindless, emotional and irrational" they are, even they can see behind his crappy little facade. Even a blind woman like Lamiroir can see that insecurity; even a common person can understand it just by looking at the facts. That's what absolutely wrecks him... that his “poker face” couldn’t hold a candle to Phoenix’s. And he loses the “hand” again (because of his “hand”... get it??).

The identity that he needs to maintain is part of how he sees himself in his mind. As Phoenix's protector, not as his stalker. As Klavier's benevolent big brother, not as his abuser. As Apollo's teacher and mentor, not as someone guiding him into ruin. He lives in a false reality.

Try to bring this up in any way, shape, or form and he will write it off. You're just imagining things...

Because at some level, Mr. Black Psyche Locks himself doesn't even realize. (I feel like that might just be basically canonical fact, based on Pearl’s explanation of how black psyche locks are supposed to work.) That’s pretty freaking terrifying.

At the end of the day this is a big part of the reason I think his character is just so interesting. In a very messed up way, Kristoph is one degree away from being such a good person. He could've been obsessively protective of Klavier - the way a big brother is supposed to be - instead of abusive, could've actually been very caring of Phoenix instead of manipulative. Terrible people can have good traits, just as good people can have awful traits. His attention to detail and understanding of psychology (like getting Vera those gifts she would like so much) could've been used for genuine good. He could've been someone who cares deeply about other people because he does care deeply about other people. But only in terms of their relation to himself, what do they think of him, how are they useful to him.

Maybe this is why I kind of like his character. Intelligent, semi-neurotic protective characters are just my ish. But, no, he has to have a narcissistic bent that skews everything into complete abuse. That’s what makes him awful... that he’s devoid of a moral compass or true compassion for other human beings.

So in closing, fuck off, Kristoph Gavin.

Postscript, he's also such a good foil for Phoenix for this reason. Kristoph does everything for himself. Phoenix does everything for Trucy, because he's a dad and he understands the weight of what it means to really care for someone. Kristoph couldn’t understand motives like that. And Phoenix can't help it if he's an order of magnitude smarter and more mature than Kristoph is. He was just born like that. Classy as fuck. You know what, Kristoph Gavin is like the dollar store version of Phoenix Wright as an attorney. Has many of the same functions but actually doesn't have a leg to stand on and will fail you when you need it. And is revealed to just be a cheap knockoff of the real thing.

[orange-meringue]

Lost And Found Q & A

(The Q&A is here! Yeah, I’m not sure exactly how many of you ended up coming over from AO3, but I’ve decided to do the Q&A for my fic here -sorry to those of you who are uninterested in my writing life, I’ve been really invested in Lost And Found lately. 

The first question was submitted here on Tumblr, and the rest are all from AO3. I hope you’re satisfied with my answers, and if you have any more questions after this or just want some elaboration, please feel free to ask! I’ll add them on in a reblog! 

Anyway, enjoy! I’ll put everything beneath the cut) 

How does Donnie adjust to physical touch/affection in the future?

-Donnie is definitely touch-starved. No way around it. As mentioned in the fic, Draxum, Huginn, and Muninn never really gave him more than a few one-sided hugs, fist-bumps or handshakes. He’d never been fully hugged or held until he met his brothers, and it’s still very weird and new to him. But obviously his brothers (as well as April and Splinter, once you get to know them) are pretty touchy, but a few of them are better at picking up on Donnie’s thing with touch than others. Overtime I feel like they would be able to get him more and more acquainted with things like casual hugs and friendly touch, and the more he gets used to these things, the less they startle him every time. Though I do imagine he has a few relapses in the future (which I do plan to write about) where touch goes back to being startling and scary, and it takes him a day or so to warm back up to it. Mostly good things, though! Donnie truly does love the familial affection, though he’s not likely to admit it

When did the boys prepare Donnie’s room?

I imagine they made his room during the last chapter, after Splinter’s apology and after April and Mayhem left, when everyone began to split up to do their own things. The timeline is a little questionable, but I like to think they had a good hour in there, and most of the materials were already there and ready -the room was likely empty, too, and was acting as some sort of storage room that they never knew what to do with. I tried to make it obvious that they’d been pressed for time and hadn’t been able to do much, hence the hastily made bed frame and why there were only two other pieces of furniture

Will Donnie ever feel comfortable enough to remove his tech around the lair in the future?

I feel that, much like canon Donnie, wearing his tech is a bit of a habitual thing. He doesn’t really see a reason to take it off, even if he’s technically safe in the lair, especially because it was ingrained in him via Draxum that his tech is everything keeping him safe. His tech is his armor and his safety blanket, and even if he knows, logically, he’s not going to be ambushed in the middle of the lair, it’s hard to take it off. Eventually, though, I feel like his brothers help with that. At one point Raph probably starts trying to train him to build strength and muscle on his own so he doesn’t have to rely on his limb clamps, and, as Donnie gets more comfortable with his brothers, he starts feeling relaxed enough to remove his battle shell when lounging around with them

Would Splinter try to bond with Donnie and attempt to form a better connection with him?

Splinter really does love his son and wants to spend time with him! But...uh...as of the story’s ending...he doesn’t know very much about him. He knows he was raised by Draxum to be a soldier and is very good with technology, but other than that...next to nothing. But it’s a great motivator! Splinter 100% wants to know Donnie as well as he knows his other boys, so he pulls out every stop to try and bond with him, making sure not to rush him despite his curiosity and family-oriented nature, because Donnie is currently pretty skeptical of adults (even Splinter) for...obvious reasons. But he wants to get to know Splinter, too, and, yeah, he’s willing to sit through his 5+ hour Lou Jitsu monologues to let that happen

How does Donnie feel about the boys’ future plans to capture oozesquitos and sabotage Draxum? Does he still have conflicted feelings about humans?

After the initial adrenaline and shock of everything subsides, I feel like it was Donnie’s idea to go after the oozesquitos. He probably wakes up in a cold sweat one night remembering oh yeah, Draxum and I unleashed a swarm of carrier bugs upon New York that are set on turning people into mutants and immediately feels the need to remedy his past mistake. So he builds a device to track the oozesquitos, which leads the boys to Big Mama’s hotel, and the rest is history (though slightly different than it was in canon, considering Donnie’s knowledge of Big Mama’s schemes and the Battle Nexus). But in terms of Draxum, Donnie would definitely be far more hesitant about trying to sabotage him. Donnie is still afraid of Draxum, after all -a small part of him feels like everything with his brothers is only temporary, and eventually he’s going to be stuck with Draxum again, and the further on his bad side he gets now, the worse it’s going to be when that does happen. He never directly challenges or fights Draxum whenever they run into him, and if there’s a way to avoid clashing with him altogether, he’ll take it

As for humans, Donnie’s definitely still conflicted about them. It’s been ingrained in him his whole life that humans are evil and selfish- that they forced his whole race underground and that’s the reason they now live in secrecy. And honestly, not even Splinter actually knows if that’s true. So Donnie remains skeptical, but overtime he’s able to do a lot more things around the city without fear of humans. They’re not actually that dangerous, he discovers, and maybe -just maybe- they’re alright. But there’s only one human Donnie grows to fully trust, and that’s April. In his eyes, she’s already proved her loyalty and compassion and, y’know, desire not to out him and his brothers to all of human-kind, not to mention she’s super badass and someone Donnie does not want on his bad side again. She’s a good friend, he realizes. He can definitely understand why she’s part of the family

How much does Donnie know about the Hidden City? Does he know about Big Mama and her hotel? How would the boys’ interactions with Big Mama change with this version of Donnie?

Considering he was raised with Draxum (who is apparently a well-known public figure in the Hidden City) he definitely has a fair amount of knowledge about the place, as well as a few ins and yōkai to go to when he needs something done. He’s very well-known himself, and actually has a reputation as a very intimidating soldier. He’s also well-versed in Big Mama’s tricks, because she and Draxum have done business before and she’s 100% tried to kidnap him for the Battle Nexus (emphasis on tried). Harking back to the question about Donnie’s oozesquito-capturing plan, the episode would definitely go differently with him there. It would be a great Leo and Donnie bonding episode, because neither of them trust Big Mama in the slightest, and Raph and Mikey would be far more cautious around her, though still intrigued by the concept of a mutant hotel and her apparent interest in helping them. But I think Donnie would manage to slip out with Leo before their brothers are captured, then it would be a race with a hilarious amount of arguing until they rescue Raph and Mikey, then everything would likely proceed as normal for the rest of the episode

Is Donnie jealous that April gets to attend school? What would his relationships with the Purple Dragons be like?

Donnie has no idea what school is. He’s heard mention of it in shows he’s pirated, but it isn’t until April comes to him one day complaining about her workload that he asks what she’s talking about. Once she explains it, he’s ecstatic! A place you can go to learn about math, science, history, and any other subject you could ever want? How much does it cost? ...It’s free?! He’s begging April to smuggle him in. She absolutely does not want to deal with that, but Donnie did make her a whole laptop and upgrade her phone a whole bunch, so how can she say no? She agrees to take him the next day, but it doesn’t fully occur to Donnie that the school is crowded with humans until he gets there. He’s on-edge the entire day, and it doesn’t help that he’s a weird green-skinned new kid no one’s ever seen before. I imagine it would be a great chapter for some good old fashioned Donnie and April bonding, and I’m 100% going to write it now, so anything else would be considered a spoiler

As for the Purple Dragons, I imagine their relationship wouldn’t be too different. The Purple Jacket episode would go relatively the same way, though I imagine Donnie would be a little more reluctant to actually join the Dragons, and way more irritating throughout the rest of the episode. But the plot and their feelings toward each other would likely remain the same

Does Donnie still eat bugs?

The whole thing with the bugs is basically...Draxum didn’t know what to feed Donnie as a baby, so he went to a local animal expert who recommended things like fruits, veggies, bugs, etc. So, considering that Draxum’s main priority was rebuilding his lab and he didn’t really have the resources to get food for anyone but himself (and maybe Huginn and Muninn- though they probably stuck to dumpster diving), Donnie’s appetite ended up consisting completely of typical turtle food, and only when he got older did Draxum started adding in things like nutrient bars and protein shakes, just to help him build more strength and muscle. So Donnie never really had anything else before he met his brothers, and it feels weird to him to jump straight from turtle to human food, so he slowly incorporates more of the latter into his diet overtime. He does still eat bugs, though. Splinter started getting him things like bug chips and seasoned bugs to make it less unsettling, but now he just eats those all the time and none of the others care for it. If a live bug happens to get in his way, he definitely won’t hesitate to eat it, and, yeah, sometimes it’s startling and almost made Leo throw up once, but it’s also really helpful if there’s a bug in the lair and none of the others want to deal with it. Donnie has eaten a spider before. The others just pretend it never happened

[cluz1babe]

*** Strong Tongue and Slender Fingers ***Episode 1 Chapter 3: *** A Hidden Power ***

CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2

Summary: You share some flashes of your past with one of the boys.

Notes: I'm sorry it took so long. There has been marriage, illnesses, and death in my family the past month.

I have been trying the story format. I hope it is good. If not, I will go back to "script" format. (I know it's not proper script.)

With the exception of characters who are "dead" on the show, it's as canon as possible (I try to fact-check as much as possible). Taking place after season 14 (up to a few years after). I wrote it kind of like a script because that's just how I am. Reading this version, you will miss some information, but check my "Works" for the others. I also have alt scenes ready to go when the series gets to that point.

      Inside the motel room, Castiel walked around the bed you were lying on, carrying a mirror. Sam and Dean talked near the sink. Sam sighed. “She could just be immune to that stuff. For all we know, she’s human.” “Maybe.”      Castiel appeared next to Dean. “We don’t need to worry. I’m not detecting anything unusual, other than the voices.”      Sam went to the table, now displaying various items from your bag. “So, she’s really hearing voices.” “It’s more troublesome than that, and I made it worse.”        “How?”      “When I touched her earlier-”        Castiel was cut short by Dean. “You mean when you attacked her?”        “I didn’t attack her.”        Sam shifted. “You kinda did.”        “Anyway, she understood Enochian.”      “Is that how she picks up the languages?”        “I don’t think so. However, I may have unintentionally given her access to Angel Radio. There’s something unusual under it all. She’s not only hearing Angel Radio. She’s hearing a few languages that I don’t recognize.”      You stirred on the bed. Glancing at you for a moment, Castiel changed his tune. “We should figure out what’s going on with her.”

     “We came here to deal with weird crap happening at some old park, not to decode crazy chick radio.”      You groaned and pushed yourself up.      “Hey,” Sam walked over and sat down on the opposite bed. “Are you okay?”      “I’m great.”        Dean grabbed a glass of water and brought it to you. “There are still a few details we need before we can help you.”        You took a drink of the water. “Did you call any of them?”      “Yeah. I’m sorry about all of that.” Sam motion to Castiel. “It’s just… We’re very protective of our people.”      “Understandable.” You grinned at him, weakly.      Dean crossed his arms. “Are you an angel?”        For a moment, you were puzzled but abruptly started laughing. Everyone else in the room just stared at you.        “What’s so funny?”        “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever been asked.”        Sam frowned. “Why?”        “Come on, angels aren’t real.”        Dean and Sam looked at Castiel, then Sam turned back to you.        “You believe that?”        You leaned back. “Of course. I mean, none of that God or Angel crap is real. If it were, I’m sure at least one of them would’ve listened to me at some point.”        “What do you believe in?”        “Demons, gods, various monsters, spirits, elementals… But the God? Angels? No.”        Sam lifted his head to Dean. You followed his gaze. “What?”        Dean nodded to Castiel. “There’s one standing right over there.”        “One what?”        Sam rose and walked over to your things, now displayed on the table.        “Angel,” Dean said.        You looked at Castiel and scoffed. He looked offended.        “Yeah, okay.”        You took another sip as Sam picked up a vial of clear fluid sitting on the table. Castiel grabbed a book and flipped through it.        “Cass?” Dean tried to talk him into showing off.        “No.” Castiel leaned back, trying to appear uninterested.        “Come on, man. No epic wings or glowing eyes?”        “Technically, I’m no longer affiliated. Remember?” Castiel sighed, “She won’t believe anything she sees or hears right now, anyway.”        “I guess we don’t have a way to prove he’s really an angel.”        Castiel rolled his eyes, tossed the book he was peeking through on the table, and spun toward you. Disgruntled, he walked to the bed and stood next to you. He reached out his hand. You flinched, so he changed his tone, slightly.        “I’m not going to hurt you.”        He bent his knees and sank next to the bed.        “My name is Castiel. I’m an angel.”      “Castiel?”        “Yes.”        “I see.” You studied him. “The angel Castiel?”        Cass nodded.        “Uh-huh. As in Wings of Desire?” You teased.        “What is that?”      “Is that a porn?” Dean’s grin was unmistakable. “What have you been up to, Cass?”      “It’s a depressing movie about bored angels who are obsessed with humans. They sulk around in trench-coats, being creepy, and wishing they were mortal. But you got the name wrong.”        “Excuse me?” Castiel was vexed.        “His name is Cassiel.”        He stood up, looking like he was about to pull out his hair. “We need answers. Now.”        “You want to know what I know about myself?”        “That’d be nice.” Dean included.        After trying to avoid the interaction, you finally decided that divulging this particular secret wasn’t dangerous.      “I need saltwater and someone to connect with. One of you.”        “For what?” Sam inquired.        “Telling you will be more difficult than showing you.”        Dean smirked, “Lucky for you, we always carry salt.”        “No. I need natural saltwater.”        You pointed to the vial of fluid in Sam’s hand. “I need that.”        Sam passed you the vial. Castiel was about to sit on the bed, but you stopped him, turning your face toward your knees. “Not you.” He tried to give you an apologetic smile and stood.        Dean stepped forward. “Alright. I guess I’ll volunteer.” He sat on the bed in front of you and smiled flirtatiously. “Hi.”        You glared at him for a second but still winked. You opened the vial and put some water on your hands.        “What is this, like dream walking?”        “Absolutely not.”        You realized your chest still had a puncture wound and wiped it with the water. It healed, which surprised everyone else. You drank the remaining liquid.        “If you see them… Just pretend that you don’t.”        “Who?”        You grabbed his hands and held on tight.

       There was a sudden swirl of images being shared between them: Someone running through a swamp. Demons being exercised. Puppies. Vampires. The Mark. You looking in a mirror. Dean meeting Castiel.        Before either of them realized it, they were being forced out of the trance. Out of instinct to defend yourself, you grabbed on to the hand touching your shoulder. As if a jolt of electricity hit, you jumped off of the bed. “Shit!”        Dean fell to the floor. In a daze, he laughed, “You gotta be kiddin’ me.”        You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your back against the wall. When you opened your eyes, Castiel was standing right in front of you. You reached out and sort of poked him with your fingers. He leaned back when your fingers made contact due to the little bit of force you put behind your hand. “Fuck. So… So you’re real, and you really are a—” You wobbled to the side.        Cass tried to steady you, but you avoided him, swatting his hand away. “Stop. I know why they don’t want me interacting with you.”        Sam stood over his brother. “Dean?”        He smiled up at him. “That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done.”        Sam’s head whipped around. “What did you do to him?”        “That can happen sometimes. He’ll be better in an hour. Maybe.” You turned your attention back to Cass. “Why would you do that?”        “You were both out of it for nearly two hours.”        Dean sat up. “Really? It seemed like we barely started.” There was a hint of slurring in his speech.        “It works like sleeping patterns on some people. Only instead of having a dream that seems like hours when it was only five minutes, it can seem like only five seconds over a long period of actual time.”        Dean dragged himself onto one of the beds and lied down.        Sam looked miffed. “I thought you said it would be easier.”        “It usually is. I’m not exactly an expert on any of my abilities!” Your hands started shaking. You made your way to your bag and took some money out of a hidden pouch. Dean began snoring. “Maybe he was just tired.” Looking at your cash, you sighed. “Is there a soda machine somewhere?”        “This place doesn’t even have an ice machine, but it’s just a few hours until morning.”        You sat down and cupped your forehead. “Great.”        “What’s wrong with you?”        “Lately, if I use my powers, I sort of crash.”        Castiel looked out of the window. “I think there was a diner a few blocks away.”        Sam shrugged. “You like pancakes?”        Dean suddenly stopped snoring and sleepily looked up. “Pancakes?”

EXTRAS:

PLAYLIST  (music for this episode)

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AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Klee PG Version ~ (Currently only on AO3)

*** Strong Tongue and Slender Fingers *** (Here and AO3)

KLEE (Original Version) (Currently only on AO3)

Alt KLEE Smut (Currently only on AO3)

*** Alt Strong Tongue and Slender Fingers Smut Scenes *** (Currently only on AO3)

[mystiika]

peter; re snape’s worst memory

today i want to talk about order of the phoenix, chapter 28: snape’s worst memory as this chapter is what forms a lot of people’s opinion about the relationship peter had with the rest of the marauders.

& i want to start off by reminding people that while this is snape’s memory, harry is viewing like some third party, able to see & hear everything but can’t pick up on anyone’s feelings or thoughts so it’s all solely his perspective. now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on.

so when harry first enters the memory, he’s calling everyone by their name, save for peter, who is referred to exclusively as wormtail, already implying that he’s something less than human or that harry doesn’t believe peter should have the dignity of being called his real name. this of course i only mean in regards to description, naturally the marauders calling each other by their nicknames doesn’t fall into the same category.

❛ Wormtail looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. ❜

so normally, this would add to the idea that he’s stupid & that his academic skills are lacking. i chose to explain this by simply saying that the boy just don’t test well? i headcanon him as having dysgraphia ( explanation here; it’s not long ) but in short, he is by no means stupid, in fact he’s quite intelligent ( as we find out later in the series ). dysgraphia is a learning disability that makes the act of writing difficult. it leads to problems with spelling, grammar, poor handwriting & difficulty organising thoughts on paper. so, going along with this learning disability, it means that, understandably so, for tests & exams, he’s a ball of anxiety. he tries his best, but he can’t help something making the same mistakes time & time again. he relies a lot on the friends around him for help with his academics but that crutch is gone as soon as exam time rolls around. it’s only natural that he blanks & might go so far as to cheat off a neighbour if he thought it would help & he could do it without getting caught.

next the boys start cracking jokes about how of the questions was about listing five signs to identify a werewolf. ❛ Wormtail was the only one that didn’t laugh. ❜  then peter goes on to list the few he remembered but mentioned how he struggled to recall all of them & to this comes the response of ❛ “ How thick are you, Wormtail? “ James said impatiently. “ You run around with a werewolf once a month— ” ❜

it’s at this point i’d like to remind you that no matter how close the boys were, they’re still all a bunch of asshole teenage boys? they’re not equip with all the patience needed to deal with peter’s academic shortcomings all the time. & it’s only natural that they would struggle to understand why peter couldn’t just function properly like the rest of them. there’s no diagnosis, no name or term you can associate with peter’s difficulties. you can be close, & still be annoyed with each other, especially with an issue that comes up as frequently as peter’s disability. james being impatient with peter about something as small as that doesn’t mean that they’re not still best friends, it doesn’t mean that james necessarily thinks peter is actually stupid, it’s just tiring to deal with all the time. i mean, they’re only 15/16. you can’t expect all that much of them.

& here is another reminder coming your way, my peter pettigrew is canon-divergent. i mean, i can’t exactly call myself entirely canon-compliant as i blatantly ignore canon information. but i also want to say that the pieces of information ignore, are pieces that i think don’t make sense given the rest of the canon information we have. as we all know & as i won’t shut up about, peter had a lot of contradictions in regards to his character so with that in mind, the next quote we have about peter is the following:

so, the set up is that james had nicked a snitch & was playing with it. ❛ James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed it at the last second. Wormtail was watching with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped & applauded. After 5 minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention..... “Put that away, will you,” said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, “ before Wormtail wets himself with excitement. ” Wormtail turned slightly pink, but James grinned. ❜

i’m not gonna say that peter was completely uninterested in james, that’s just stupid. but frankly, the way this played out made him seem... simple? for lack of a better word anyway. i don’t doubt that he would have been mesmerized, hell i probably would have watched interested with my mouth open too, but the idea of him gasping??? that’s dumb af. he may have a learning disability but he’s not developmentally delayed. it just doesn’t make any sense given what else we know/find out about his character. i do, however, think clapping isn’t out of the realm of possibility, but it wouldn’t come from a place of blind adoration so much as the same vibe of my friend doing some tricks with a basket ball & me going “ayyyy” & clapping in response. this is also more so the reaction i would have expected from peters ‘ cheer ’. & kind of in that vein of admiring james, i do think that peter was in love with james, whether he realized it or not. i’ve talked about it a few times before so i won’t get into it again now, but i guarantee he would have liked watching james show off, similar to way there we’re told about some girls watching him off to the side at the time. i also know that sirius or remus probably called him out on it the odd time, so it’s not exactly a surprise that sirius would have called him on it & that peter would have been embarrassed. that being said, i think it would have been accompanied by a nice, strong glare in sirius’ direction. in order to be best friends with the group, he’d have to be able to keep up with him. so if you think he’d just sit there & take it one-sided all the time, you’d be wrong. maybe not in this particular moment but you best believe he’d give it back just as much as he took.

then of course comes the bullying of snape & the whole time peter is hanging around ❛ with an avid look of anticipation ❜, ❛ watching hungrily ❜, ❛ sniggering shrilly ❜. he’s reacting the same way as everyone else, but he’s singled out using descriptors with such negative connotations. the only way it makes any sense to me is remembering that this is what harry sees, what harry thinks. kinda like when someone starts to annoy you, suddenly everything they do becomes annoying, even if it’s the same thing as what anyone else is doing, it’s gonna be annoying because you find them annoying as a whole. idk, peter doesn’t exactly seem sadistic so this is the kind of “canon information” that i ignore just because it makes no sense. it doesn’t fit the story, the plot, the relationship he has with the marauders, & most of all, the type of person i make him out to be given everything else that we know.

this whole scene just kinda downplays the friendship peter has, & makes it out to be something it’s not. people say that they only kept peter around because he was like some sort of groupie, obsessed & admiring them at all times. but it doesn’t change the fact that sirius said they all would have died for peter. died. let that sink in & then tell me that they only kept peter around to boost their self esteem.

thank u 4 coming 2 my ted talk

[mollyencrypted]

A Marriage, For Better Or Worse

Okay, I think I've worked out how a Re-Animator Corpse Bride AU would work:

It's kind of a mixture of film and serial canon, plus some stuff that doesn't align with either, set somewhere around the time Part II would have taken place.

Dan and Meg are engaged but her father was incredibly reluctant to agree to it so there's a lot of pressure on him to Not Fuck This Up.

So predictably he fucks it up because he's a moron who cannot take anything seriously.

Consequently, the esteemed Doctor Halsey tells him to fuck off until he gets his shit together, and so he wanders off to go practice Not Being Terrible somewhere away from people, and immediately gets killed by something (probably cultists) because he is utterly useless.

Really, really useless.

So he wakes up, very dead and being bothered by a goddamned zombie and a dog-demon-thing, and proceeds to freak the fuck out and run for it, which is fair enough really, it’s a very weird situation.

He also hasn’t yet worked out that he’s dead, and so it’s rather a shock for him when a slightly-less-horrifying fellow ex-being informs him of this fact.

Once he finally gets over his shock, he starts asking about the creepy guy from earlier, who turns out to be one Herbert West, a former medical student who was murdered ten years previously by his academic supervisor, who proceeded to steal his research and pass it off as his own.

He's also somewhat estranged from the rest of the local deceased, being seemingly the only one who resents being dead and very much committed to finding a way of reversing his condition. Nobody else wants any part of this, partially because they don't see the point but also because his experiments just tend to make things worse. He is Not Good at necromancy.

As it turns out, a means of returning to life is exactly what Dan needs, because he's engaged to a living woman and his being dead makes this rather inconvenient. And hey, he's a doctor, maybe he can help out!

West is surprisingly easily convinced to take him on as an assistant. That's mostly because his current assistant - one of the local ghouls - isn't terribly useful due to a lack of medical knowledge and a tendency to get distracted with pining after a certain human scholar who broke things off with him following the whole 'turning into a corpse-eating monster' thing

Turns out they're still not very good at necromancy.

Meanwhile, in the world of the living, Halsey is convinced that his almost-son-in-law has probably run off and has no intention of going through with the wedding, and as such isn't being the most comforting presence to his daughter, who is equally convinced that something terrible has happened to her fiancé.

Especially because he's already found a replacement husband for her.

By which I mean his associate, a certain Doctor Carl Hill, has talked him into arranging a marriage to his much younger, very much uninterested daughter. Gross.

Understandably, she's utterly disgusted by the prospect and resolves to use her week-long grace period to find out what happened to Dan, hoping he might still be alive. (Sorry, Meg, he ain't.)

She doesn't have much luck in her search for answers, but at one point does run into a certain human scholar mentioned earlier, one Randolph Carter. They're both pretty miserable and end up confiding in each other about their respective issues.

News of Meg's circumstances get back to Dan via the ghoul formerly known as Richard Pickman (you knew it was him already), who'd overheard that during an attempt at following Dan's terrible relationship advice. Dan is a moron who cannot boyfriend, please don’t take his advice on anything.

The revival of the moron who cannot boyfriend now has a closer deadline than anticipated because whilst he doesn't know exactly who the new guy is he isn't going to stand by and let the woman he loves be married off to someone she wants nothing to do with.

It is, however, somewhat awkward, because whilst he's definitely Very Much In Love with Meg and she with him even though she could really do better, he's also kind of caught feelings for his accidental colleague, who maybe also caught feelings for him, and he really doesn't know what to do in this situation except Ignore It And Hope It Goes Away.

And when Herbert tries to convince him to just give up on Meg and stay on as his assistant he immediately refuses because in this house we do not screw over female characters for the sake of creepy men. So they fight but ultimately try and be professional about the whole thing because Science.

They know they won't make the deadline, but at the last minute someone in this idiotic company points out that actually, they don't need to revive Dan before the wedding - he's ambulatory, not particularly decomposed, and the only thing keeping him from interacting with the living is Convention. They can work on a proper treatment after the immediate trouble is over.

What follows is some ungodly fusion of the climaxes of both films, in which we learn that one member of our cast actually is rather good at necromancy (just not any of the ideal members), and Meg dies.

It doesn't stick.

And she gets to be the one to remove Hill from the mortal coil. He promptly gets devoured by ghouls and is mourned by no-one.

And so Dan and Meg get to marry, more or less, so that's nice, except she's not terribly happy about the whole being dead thing and her new husband still hasn't warmed up to it so they end up going off with Herbert to figure out a solution. And also to figure out some less scientific stuff. After all, they have all the time in the world now.

(also Randolph and Richard get their shit together because this is my AU and I do what I want)

And they all died (somewhat) happily ever after until Cthulhu breaks free or some shit.

The end.

[13eyond13]

Do you think L and Light are capable of falling in love, understanding it, accepting it and maybe do something about it? I know death note is not a romance story, but I can't stop thinking about it. Romance for these two lacks so much and they seem so uninterested in it, but like, they are human and humans feel emotional. Even sociopaths feel emotions in their way.

Yes, I think it’s possible based on how I view them both, but I don’t think it would ever actually happen in the canon situation. It would have to be some sort of AU and some sort of different circumstances for them to genuinely end up together. Something I love about them is how non-romantic and prickly and independent they both are, but how much chemistry they have and how much they seem to be drawn to each other regardless, haha. 

Lawlight is a really difficult ship to make function perfectly, which is a huge part of why I love it. It makes it way more interesting and fun to me. It’s really hard to get them to meet without Light becoming Kira and L’s arch-nemesis, because L doesn’t normally pay attention to anyone who isn’t a big threat or an interesting challenge to him as a detective. And L’s such a good behind-the-scenes detective that he doesn’t usually have to interact personally with anyone he pursues, either. It was only because Light was such a good criminal that L had to put himself in that close of a personal proximity to Light in the first place. And then once Light lost his Kira memories and became “innocent” again, they often clashed over their ideals and annoyed each other a lot. I think their chemistry is way more enjoyable when they’re both playing mind games and not afraid to be sly and conniving about stuff, though they did also make a pretty good crime-solving duo nonetheless, which Ohba wanted to show that they were pretty compatible as allies when they weren’t at each other’s throats. I think Light had all of those duplicitous qualities in him from the beginning, so they could definitely get into a similar mind-gamey situation without the Death Note involved, but that was probably the best way for them to prove how clever and entertaining they both were to each other as well.

The most shippy part of it all to me personally is how much Light constantly thought about L after he was dead, even years down the line. He put L on a pedestal in his mind as his only worthy adversary, and somewhat underestimated the others who came to challenge him afterward because he compared them to L and found them lacking (even though they clearly weren’t). He definitely missed him in his own weird twisted Light way, where he managed to be disappointed about L being dead after being the one to kill him himself, haha. I really do think his rivalry with L was the most fun he’d ever had (mostly in the beginning, before the Yotsuba arc – I don’t think he found the Yotsuba arc fun at all), and the only time he’d ever felt like he was interacting with someone on his level who also understood exactly what was going on beneath the surface the entire time.

Ohba said that if Light hadn’t picked up the Death Note he would’ve become head of the NPA and worked on the same level as L to solve crime, so it’s possible they may have known about each other and interacted in some way in the canon universe even if Light hadn’t picked up the Death Note as well. But trying to get them to actually meet up in person and also recognize each other as equals in the same way that their rivalry did would be the trickiest part.

[vedj-f-bekuesu]

2019 in Retrospect

2019 has been fairly quiet, so I decided to start off this year by looking back on it. I’ll be dividing it by main fandoms/characters/ships because this year there were actually some new ones. That hasn’t been the case since, like, 2013. 

Sonic the Hedgehog

It was an...alright year for Sonic. TSR was fine but too light on content, Mario and Sonic Tokyo felt like a step down from Mario and Sonic Rio but was still alright, and I have not played SEGA Heroes (and haven’t bothered with the Chao in Space short). Lowest spot for me was the IDW comic; the Zombot arc has had one interesting story so far, but the rest has had either bad writing (primarily aimed at Shadow’s turn) or it’s just been wallowing in its bleakness in a way even Shadow the Game didn’t. Then again, I find zombie stories uninteresting to begin with, so no duh I’m not interested in a Sonic take on it. 

Chaotix kind of mirror that. Vector’s managed to get a good showing in, batting 3 for 3 on the game front, and having a key role in two of them. And like I said before, the Chaotix have genuinely had the most interesting stories within the Zombot arc, although with Vector and Charmy turned this may become more limited. Speaking of though, Espio and Charmy have had weaker presences. Espio managed to get into all three games in some form but to a lesser extent (one just by name), and Charmy was really left behind. 

As for Vecpio, it’s been pretty bare for canon material stuff. Espio got mentioned in TSR as contributing the report that reveals Dodon Pa’s true role (with him and Vector being the key to making everyone shut up about him being suspicious, proving they’re best as a team). And Mario and Sonic Tokyo has something if you headcanon some stuff; when Vector talks about the medals, Espio is the first person you’re directed to. Nothing is said by Vector about Espio in text, but you can implicate that Espio was chosen first because of his strong link to Vector, being the first one Vector would trust to compete at a gold level. Other than that? Dry. And with no announcements for Sonic games in 2020, this may just continue. 

Crash Bandicoot

On the reverse side, we have Crash Bandicoot having a really strong year. CTR:NF came out (which is a remake of my favourite Crash game) and has been doing gangbusters. On top of this, it has been going out of its way to revive pretty much every dead character in the franchise, to the point that we have RIlla Roo back in the fold (something I genuinely didn’t think would happen 19 years beforehand). 

Skipping straight to the shipping for this, I wouldn’t have imagined it for Crash ever, but there’s actually some in-game material for me to latch onto for DingodileXKomodo Joe! Dingodile has been pushed into a more jovial character since N-Sane Trilogy, being even more doubled down on in CTR:NF. However, for the past 20 years Komodo Joe has managed to avoid being given traits closer to Espio. This game finally catches up to him, and does it hard. Seriously, his character took a hard turn for the stoic badass Espio did after Heroes, and when did Joe ever use Martial Arts magic ever? Aside from making that dynamic naturally more matching, Slide Coliseum joins in the fun with the visual upgrade. It has holographic projections of a trophy girl repping a couple of racers dancing each, and guess who the devs felt could be paired up for how they go together rhythmically? That’s right, my reptile boys. Man. 

Super Mario Bros

What a weak year for Mario for me. What Mario got for new games this year were Luigi’s Mansion 3 (which I’ve not played), Mario Maker 2 (which isn’t new story content and doesn’t interest me in the slightest), Yoshi’s Crafted World (which I forgot was a thing) and Mario Kart Tour/Dr Mario World (which...um). 

Because of this set-up, Bowser hardly got anything to do so he’s really been on the backburner. Considering how he’s been pushed in the rest of the decade that’s saying something. In fact, the most character stuff he got was in Mario and Sonic Tokyo, and even that was mostly just alright (I think Bowser Jr got the best deal out of that).

Spyro the Dragon

Spyro was alright, but this one’s more understandable. With 2018 being the big year for Spyro’s return, 2019 was a rest for the little guy. That being said it wasn’t completely quiet; Spyro Reignited Trilogy finally got its port on the Switch, and to tie in with that Spyro got an appearance in CTR:NF. 

Because of the latter point, Gnasty Gnorc got a surprisingly strong year. Not only having more people learn about his glow-up in SRT, but bringing over that petty and angry character to CTR:NF. Seriously, his bit in the grand prix intro video is great, and he has more lines in his racing quips than any other game. 

OK KO

I don’t think I made a post about OK KO on Tumblr (or maybe I did one, I can’t remember). But I did manage to get into this just before it got cancelled so there’s that. 

I maintain that the Sonic crossover (aka the first thing I really knew about OK KO) didn’t give me a good impression of the show.It just seemed like “here’s the Sonic and Eggman dynamic but with more cartoon shenanigans*” and it spent more time making endless Sonic references. While some were deeper cuts which actually were impressive, most were references I could see in pretty much any Sonic-referencing material. It wasn’t until I decided to look up more info on Lord Boxman sometime after because I wanted to check if N.Gin was an influence that I found out the plot of the actual show (crossover notwithstanding) was pretty nuts and way more up my alley. 

Speaking of, there’s Voxman. Whereas other ships on here I have to dig through material to construct nuggets from them, this was literally in the text. And why not, they have a good dynamic and are usually the most fun to watch bounce off each other. And I still like the fact that if KO and Lord Boxman were the Sonic and Eggman parallel, the story ends with Eggman becoming Sonic’s stepfather. Let’s see IDW tell a story like that, it’d be better than the Zombot stuff. 

*I think that was the point but still. 

LEGO

Man I wouldn’t have thought they would have remade LEGO Racers but the one they made this year was gre--

Okay no, this year basically reignited another flame that I thought was snuffed out like 16 years ago. For a brief history of me and LEGO, when I was six I had a freestyle box which I used to make an elemental superhero persona. I played with this until I was 11. Before then, my sister got some LEGO Harry Potter sets (which we still have in the loft), I played LEGO Racers a lot (and wasn’t very good at it), and I owned two random other LEGO sets (the trike from Life on Mars and Lava from RoboRIders). 

After that, I only dabbled in LEGO when there was a Sonic set done for LEGO Dimensions. I did try to play more into it, but it was really prone to crashing in certain worlds so I eventually got frustrated enough to stop playing it. Sometime in the interim though my sister started enjoying LEGO films without me knowing, so when February came around I was dragged to see LEGO Movie 2 when all I wanted to see in 2019 was Toy Story 4. Dad insisted on it since we rarely have family outings. In retrospect; 

LEGO Movie 2 hit me in a way a piece of media hasn’t for years, or even decades. It’s shot up to be my third-favourite film of all time. And it’s revealed to me that LEGO is shockingly good at making endearing characters. So much so that breaking it down (pun not intended) has to be done by theme.

LEGO Movie: Part of the reason why I didn’t get into LEGO earlier was because I did see LEGO Movie back in 2014 when my sister was given it on DVD (she wasn’t into LEGO then) and I wasn’t impressed with it. In retrospect, I can appreciate what it did more, and I bring it up because it’s what makes Unikitty, Benny and Metalbeard so endearing when combined with what happened in TLM2. Lucy’s okay (moreso in the sequel), Emmet’s cute, President Business is fun but the MVP is definitely Rex Dangervest, who’s this feral monster but with Emmet buried away deep inside ready to flesh him out. When I make LEGO stories, I just have Rex change his mind on rescuing himself after getting the dinosaurs, and instead wreaking havoc in the present. This kills Emmet off in any story I do but it’s a worthy sacrifice. 

LEGO City Undercover: As a video game person I’m kicking myself for not getting into this before. Frank Honey is the best; he’s adorable and weird yet still feeling very much human and basically the Emmet of his city. Rex Fury has grown on me lots since my initial assessment of him,it’s infectious how much fun he has with being a criminal (while Vinnie is more fun when not doing criminal stuff and Chan seems to be more focused on doing criminal stuff as a job. I also think his calmer side is criminally (no pun intended again) overlooked). Also Ellie is underrated, she is the best straight man you could ask for. 

LEGO City Adventures: As I’ve said before, pretty much everyone in LCA is adorable, especially Duke and Harl. Still hoping for more Daisy time in the second season, she could be a riot if played properly and not just a Fendrich stooge. 

Ninjago: Coming in with the hot take here; I prefer the movie version of Ninjago to the series. I think the problem with the series is that it has so much baggage from before the series started to iron out some of its issues and cliches that it’s kinda hard to get into as a new person, whereas movie Ninjago is a lot more approachable and written better off the bat (although I do see why it wouldn’t go down well with existing Ninjago fans). This all just makes me think of that moment in series 11 where Nya sees her worst fear of being normal in an artefact and it shows her movie self, almost as a take that. It just makes me think the show writers are salty about movie Nya kicking show Nya’s ass in being a better character. Also shout outs to Kai, Cole, Zane and Lloyd for being great characters as well (Jay is cute in the movie, his show self can be punted off a cliff for all I care). And I am with the movement to have Cole come out as gay (or at least bi if they want to keep Tournament of Elements I guess). 

Nexo Knights: This show is regarded as another Ninjago wannabe, but it feels very different to Ninjago to me. So much so, there’s not a single one of the heroes I don’t like and they all need to be cherished. Macy gets props for being the best female character to me, Aaron is probably my favourite now and this is a house of Clance for future reference. 

So, with all that being said, what do I think of the prospects for 2020? I think it’s going to be quieter than 2019 to be honest, since there’s a lot winding down, and on the game side there’s been zero announcements. Crash and Spyro having a rest is understandable, Sonic’s going to have to get past the movie before gearing up for 2021 probably (for the record I have no interest in the movie) and Mario just needs to try harder. And with OK KO dead, only LCA is holding the fort for guaranteed new content I want to engage in right now. 

You know what would be fun though? Series 20 of the minifigures theme is due at the end of this year. Wouldn’t it be awesome to use the occasion to give some phsical minifigures to characters who never got them before? LIke, Rex Fury somehow still has enough demand to be a persistent feature in the customs market, give him an official figure (especially since he’s the only character from LCU that’s not Chase that’s even appeared in merch outside the game). Or let Sky Lane get her LEGO Universe look in physical form to go with her LIXS look. Or heck, finally give Rocket Racer his original look, that’s how I discovered the minifigure world in the first place!

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 28: Inside and Outside

Chapters: 28/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: None Relationships: Loki x Reader (Let’s try this again) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Reader, Brunnhilde, Thor Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Reader Doesn’t Feel Comfortable With How Uncomfortable She Feels, Reader Feels A Lot But Doesn’t Want To Think About It, In A World Full Of People Nothing Is Simple  Summary: Reader struggles with justification, while things brew outside the city.

Loki held your hand gently, allowing you to move energy slowly back and forth, but you could tell his concentration was weakened by the scent of warm cinnamon wafting from the basket nearby.

Oh, he was weak, weak, weak for Midgardian sweets. His eyes flicked back and forth between the basket and your face, and he kept sniffing the air, licking his lips. For someone with such a reputation for sneakiness, he sure wasn't being very sly right now. He refused to do or say anything about it, though, not until practice was over.

You felt pretty good after baking up the tasty treats; nothing quite got you going in the morning like the calm, domestic routine of a warm wash-up, and some simple baking. You usually made up some dough starter the night before, to be used the next morning; it made things go faster, but still allowed you to have fresh baked goods whenever. The cooks might be persuaded to put aside a little space in the cooler for you; you would make sure to ask about it next time you were in the kitchens.

His tongue swiped across his lips one more time, and you took pity on the poor, starving prince. You withdrew your hand and energy from his, and stretched hugely.

“Oh wow, what a workout!” You exclaimed. “I sure am hungry! What about you?”

Loki's eyes darted back to the basket. “If you are hungry, I would have nothing against joining you for a small snack.”

You snickered. He was so not smooth. “It's a good thing I prepared a little something this morning. Nothing big, just some rolls.”

“Oh, is that what the basket is all about?” Loki said trying to sound uninterested. “I thought perhaps you would need to bring food with you, since your energy reserves are not up to Asgardian standards. That's not your fault, of course, being an unpracticed human. So...if you ever need to bring large amounts of food with you, feel free.”

You could play this game. You slowly lifted the plate of cinnamon rolls out of the basket and uncovered it with a little flourish. The plate had his undivided attention.

“Well, you're right about my energy reserves, I'm afraid. My frail human body does need a lot of food to function. In fact, this session has been so tiring that I might just have to eat all of these.”

“All?” He choked out.

“I might.” You said. “I'm so weak, after all. So small. So needy.”

“So foolishly toeing the line.” Loki glowered. “You are teasing me.”

“You bet I am!” You laughed, holding the plate out to him. You had to snatch it back before he grabbed the whole thing, only letting him take one at a time. “Consider it proactive payback for whatever tricks you play on me in the future.”

Loki didn't even bother with a retort, he just shoved half the cinnamon roll into his mouth, making sounds you were sure ought only be made behind closed doors.

You may have created a monster.

You split the rolls between you, polishing them off quickly, and to great satisfaction. Loki couldn't seem to stop complimenting them, to the point that it made you bashful.

Once he'd finished eating, taking his time in licking the sugar off his fingers, he then took your hand back in his.

“I would like to try something new. If you will allow it, I would fill you with my magic, and see if you can use it as if it were your own. I believe I may be able to supplement your power with my own. If so, you might need not ever suffer the fatigue again.”

“Um...” That would be nice. The magic fatigue was terrible, and it would be nice to get rid of it. However, you weren't really sure how filled with Loki's...anything, you wanted to be. The relationship between you was getting confusing. The two of you were swiftly becoming close-and how could you not? You shared magic, and time, and proximity; meals, and opinions, and living space. You couldn't even move away from him, and you still wore his colors more often than not. He still tried to tutor you in everything, still coaxed your thoughts out over paperwork, and still held your hand in public.

Like right now, you were both on another one of your little 'picnics' in an open courtyard, sitting on a blanket, where anyone could see. You had known that you would eventually have to move on from just pushing energy back and forth, but to step right into letting him put this part of himself inside you...the part of you that accepted it as a logical next step in your training conflicted with the part of you that was trying to fight the increasing intimacy. You didn't feel like you were the right person for it, even though you were the only person for it. You were an employee, you kept telling yourself. A ward. A charity case, an inconvenience that had to be lived with and accommodated. You could be that. You knew how to do that.

But wasn't it a part of your job now, to be more? To be emotionally supportive, to be available, to be open and helpful? You would have to accept closeness as a part of it all, wouldn't you?

You'd had such a bad reaction to all that closeness before. You'd rebelled spectacularly, accused him of horrible intentions. Could you really turn it around so quickly? Wouldn't that make you a terrible hypocrite? Well, did that matter now?

“Um, I suppose so. Just...just go slow, okay? I haven't forgotten the plate incident.”

“Speaking of which, go ahead and put down the plate.” Loki suggested, and you did. You had to return it to the kitchen later, and you wanted it in one piece when you did so.

Loki breathed out slowly, and you felt him push as he did. It wasn't like the first time, where he just rammed magical energy into you until you 'popped', but gentle and careful. The familiar buzzing became a fizzing sensation, unfurling down your arms and legs, wrapping your bones, languorous coils filling your chest.

“You can hold it.” His voice reverberated through your whole body, strumming your nerves like harp strings. Your body sang.

“You can hold it. Just hold it for a moment. Acclimate yourself. Can you feel me? Can you feel how it differs from yourself?”

You could. He was effervescent, buoyant. He fizzled through you.

“I can't hold it!” You exclaimed.

“No, no, no, you've got it.” He encouraged. “You can hold it. Just a little longer. Let it flow around your body. Let it sink in and permeate you.”

“S-stop talking, please!” You couldn't take the play of his voice on your nerves. It peeled you open and left you raw and quivering in the sunlight.

“All right.” He whispered. “All right, now direct it.”

“G-g-give me a task! Tell me how!”

“That flower over there, the blue one.” He pointed out a tall lupine, blooming against the courtyard wall. “Bring the flower here, to your hand.”

You held out your hand, fighting for concentration. You could remember what it felt like to bring Thor's ax to yourself, and you tried to feel the same thing now, but the light that crept into your eye made it hard to focus on your target. The power swirled down your arm, uncoiled from your fingertips, and snapped out towards the flower.

It was in your hand a moment later, and Loki nearly bowled you over with his triumphant cry. You felt him withdraw his magic from within you, even as his other arm curled around your shoulders to hold you up. It wasn't the discomfort of magic fatigue that weakened you now, but the sheer, sore exhaustion of someone who had been working endlessly for hours.

Loki held you up, quietly praising. You couldn't feel his voice anymore, only hear it, and though you felt empty and hot, and weirdly alone, you could also still sense the shape of the runes that trailed up your arm, faintly taste sweet citrus on the back of your tongue.

He plucked the flower from your hand, examining it as you leaned against him. Whatever hesitation you'd had about accepting closeness had dissolved for the moment.

“Very good, very good.” He murmured. “Do you see? The break of the stem is very clean, but the lower part of the flower is crushed. We will need to work on your control, but this is extremely promising. You are doing so well. You always do so well. Do you understand how gifted you are, in this? I'm so glad that I get to have you, rather than some other, inferior sorcerer.”

The possessive tone in his voice cut through the floaty haze to clang jarringly against one of your mental alarms. You didn't belong to him! This was a work arrangement! You had to cling to that, you had to put, if not a wall, then at least a screen between you.

You shook your head and tapped the hand on your shoulder sharply: Loki withdrew it, looking down at you with a bit of concern.

“Little too much.” You mumbled. Loki held your gaze a few moments longer.

“I understand.” He said. Perhaps he did. “Would you like to bake again tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“More cinnamon rolls?” There was unmasked hope there.

“Nope!”

He deflated. “Oh. What then?”

“Ever had elephant ears?” You asked. Maybe you were being a little mean.

Concern spread across his features once more. “I'm hoping that the name is a metaphor. I know humans will eat nearly anything, but...”

“It's puff pastry! I saw some in the kitchens earlier. Elephant ears are rolled up puff pastry. With cinnamon and sugar.”

“So...it's crispy cinnamon rolls?” And the hope was right back.

“You'll just have to wait and see.”

                                                                             *****

He sat quietly in his prison room, not quite ready to sleep. The day was fast approaching.

He had no doubt that the trial would not go in his favor. That didn't matter. What mattered was, when the war came, when the invaders were finally eradicated, he would be remembered. His example would have inspired others to action. He knew they were out there, right now. He had received letters of support from many who felt the same way he did. There were others who saw the truth, and while he must pay the price for humanity's current blindness, those others would carry on in his place.

The invaders would be beset on all sides. In the media, on their stolen land, in the global markets, they would be pushed out. And as for their human supporters; there would be nowhere safe for such traitors.

Yes, he was perfectly resigned to be martyr for the cause; the safety and supremacy of the human race.

                                                                            *****

Sophie had recently come to several distressing conclusions about the newly arrived campers. Firstly, they were not here to be close to the gods, but to protest them. They were putting up fences and vaguely threatening signs, and refusing contact with Sofie's camp. Secondly, there were not one new camp, but two, strongly divided based on ideology. One camp merely wished for Asgard to go elsewhere, someplace that was not Earth. The other camp not only wanted them gone, but they also wanted Loki handed over to face justice, and they wanted the separation of all humans from Asgard. This camp was harsh and vicious in their segregationist ideals: they wanted all contact with Icelanders to cease immediately, for Sofie's camp to be eradicated, and the people either scattered or arrested, and they especially wanted you behind bars. They held a special vitriol for you.

Thirdly, both camps would be growing in response to the upcoming trial. Sofie had a feeling that, no matter the trial's outcome, there would be trouble coming from these protesters.

“They'll fight each other as well as everyone else.” Frodi had said, as they sat around the fire. The sun was finally starting to dip lower in the sky again, barely kissing the horizon. “There are many people who are full of conflict, with nowhere to direct it. Give them a target, and they will latch on hard.”

“They can't all be here in search of violence.” Sofie insisted. “They do have some valid fears. Not even the sagas always explained the gods motivations, so how can they know that they mean us no harm? Loki did not show us his best face when he finally returned, so I can see where they're coming from.”

“We need to prepare.” Fritjof interjected, having invited himself, unbidden, to the fire, as he always did. “If they bring their fight to us, we have to be ready to defend ourselves.”

“We don't need to go that far, I'm sure...” Sofie said, but Savane lightly touched her hand.

“You will be needed.” She said simply. “Do you have a knife?” She offered one of her coveted blades, in it's reindeer antler sheath.

“I certainly hope it doesn't come to that!” Sofie exclaimed. “Maybe we ought to focus on the upcoming winter instead. Getting through it more comfortably than last year. Savane, would you be willing to teach us how to make clothes like yours? When the night returns, it will get cold very fast. If those other camps want to be antagonistic to us, maybe we can win by outlasting them. Being better prepared.”

Savane pressed the knife into Sofie's hand anyway. “I don't mind showing you, but you lack the materials. You have no reindeer here, and no beaver, and not enough foxes. You need the pelts to make my clothes.”

“We've got sheep.” Frodi pointed out. “Sheepskins aren't hard to come by around here, and they're pretty well adapted for the cold.”

“Hm. It might work.” Savane said, contemplating. “It will look strange, but it should be warm enough. I will draw up patterns.”

“Do you mind if I record it?” Sofie asked.

“No, I don't. It will be educational, and it might get some more money to buy the supplies.”

Both women headed into Savane's tent, leaving Frodi and Fritjof behind to take care of dinner.

“This is why we need all of us.” Frodi mused. “People like them form the core of a community. People like me build things, and people like you stand between us and the big, wide, world.”

“I don't need your flattery.” Fritjof said shortly.

“No, you need to continue learning about the oath you took.” Frodi answered back, pointing at the othala rune tattooed on the back of Fritjof's hand. “What drove the Allfather to his wanderings?”

“The search for wisdom and knowledge.” Fritjof sulked.

“The search for wisdom and knowledge, wherever it might be found.” Frodi reiterated. “He consorted with giants and dwarves, with Vanir and elves. He spoke to beasts and witches, and learned their ways, even though it was frowned upon. You too must decide what's most important to you, and pursue that with all of your being. Or not. I can't tell you what to do.”

“And yet, you keep talking.” Fritjof snapped, emptying a few cans of soup into a pot to hang over the fire. “As if the gods somehow speak to you.”

“A god spoke to you once.” Frodi pointed out. “Did it do you any good?”

Fritjof froze up, soup pot in hand. They didn't talk about that. Nobody talked about that. It seemed the entire camp was in agreement about it. They were embarrassed by him, and ashamed that no one had stepped forward to help. The entire incident had peeled back the veneer of their community, and showed it to be lacking cohesion.

It had also led to a major change in the camp. Campers who had never spoken to each other before started coming together, learning and sharing. Most of the more negative elements had decided to leave; the presence of multi-ethnic einherjar, and the undeniability of Heimdall forcing them to re-think their worldviews. Only a very few had remained, or returned. The camp was more united than it had ever been; swiftly becoming a true community.

All because Fritjof had been wrong, and Loki had been swift and brutal.

Fritjof knew more about the gods now than many others did. He knew how close they were to humanity, and how different as well. He was no stranger to physical violence, but he had never felt anything like that kick to the chest. Never heard anything like that thunderous voice proclaiming all his failings. The nature of his devotion had changed drastically that night, and it had needed to.

No longer did Fritjof believe that the gods needed him or his protection from 'dilution' or 'degeneration'. In reality, it was he who needed them, to provide some kind of identity, some sense of acceptance in a world that could very easily hate him. Community was what he sought more than anything, and now it was growing up around him, all because Loki had a short temper.

“Yes, I believe it did.” He said, hanging the pot over the flames.

                                                                             *****

Brunnhilde sighed and rolled her eyes.

“About how many would you say have gathered?” Thor asked the einherjar messenger.

“Somewhere around a hundred. Split into two groups. They fly a white and red striped flag, with a blue  corner, filled with stars.”

“That is the United States of America. Many of my friends are there.”

“I cannot tell if they are friendly or not, my liege. They have put up many signs, but I cannot read them. Some of them have pictures of the crown prince or his Seidkona, with red slashes over them. Perhaps I misunderstand the culture, but this does not seem friendly. They keep coming, and the rest of the gate guards are becoming agitated.”

“Thank you for bringing this to us.” Brunnhilde said. “We'll send reinforcements to the gates for added safety. This will probably blow over after the trial.”

“The murderer of Adalheid's lover? The assassin who attempted the life of the Seidkona?”

“Afraid so. Both of them also come from that country, and the whole thing has been awfully polarizing.”

“We will take extra precautions.” Thor promised. “This is going to be a trying time for many of us, but I want no violence from our side. These humans are driven by emotion and passion; there are not likely to be trained warriors among them, and even if there are, they are too easy to harm.”

“I will spread the word, your Majesty.” The einherjar bowed and took his leave.

“I cannot believe that I didn't see this coming.” Thor grumbled.

“You were optimistic.” Brunnhilde said. “And it did take them a while to get geared up. I'm surprised this is the first we're seeing of it. Maybe you oughta call your friends, see if they can't do anything about it.”

“I don't know what they could do. People have the right to protest whatever they want, and as long as they remain peaceful, and don't try to enter the city, then they haven't broken any laws, and can't be forced to leave. Maybe they'll go away when it gets cold.”

“Trolekaerhalla has stuck around through the winter.” Brunnhilde pointed out.

“Yes, but they like us. Maybe I should go out and see them?”

“On the one hand, I'd say you're a fool for not doing that sooner. On the other hand, I can't advise it. You might start a riot. You should probably let your friends know what's going on. It can't hurt to keep in touch.”

“Perhaps they'd like to visit? You do still owe Stark a lot of alcohol.”

“He's the one who offered me a drink in the first place!” Brunnhilde huffed.

“He offered you a drink, not the entire liquor case! Anyway, we will double the number of gate guards for the next few weeks, and see if that doesn't deter any overly brave protesters. I meant it about avoiding violence. People are going to be afraid of us for a while, and there are still those out there who have a very legitimate hatred of my brother. He hasn't been able to make the reparations that he should, and there will be those who would not be willing to accept anything he offered anyway. Using force against them would not only be wrong, but it would also cast us all as villains.”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“Why must everything happen all at once?”

Brunnhilde punched him lightly on the shoulder. “If it wasn't, you'd just be complaining that things were too boring. They should've called you the Grumbler, instead of the Thunderer.”

“I have not yet begun to whine!” Thor declared teasingly, leaping to his feet. “Come! Let us see if the hotel bookings have been made.”