#as my end goal

[disasterlia]

Drabble : Insecure + deaf Steve

Was it on twitter first ? Why yes. 

I’m jumping onto the “ Steve after too many concussion loose his hearing” and I’m adding a pinch of angst and insecurities.

_ _

It’s not a secret anymore, after too many encounters with the Upside Down, with various fists and walls, Steve can’t hear anymore. He didn’t even know it was a possibility. Getting concussed enough that you fuck up your hearing like a looser. 

Still, it was fine. He was alive. More importantly, the kids were alive. Vecna was dead. The gates were closed ( hopefully for good this time). Max recovery was a slow process, but she was alive and not alone, never alone. Eddie was out of the hospital, finally. 

What if Steve couldn’t hear anything anymore ? He was learning ASL , was learning how to get by now. And he wasn’t alone in his recovery either. 

He was slowly forgetting the kids voices. It was less fine. But Steve was stupid and confident enough to adapt, to survive. 

He would never hear Eddie’s music. He would never hear the words the other whispered against his skin in the obscurity of their rooms. It was fine. More or less. 

He wasn’t alone. He was adapting. It was fine. 

The thing is, he couldn’t hear himself anymore either. It had been fine too at first. Robin admitted his voice was a little different. She would tap her arm when he was too loud. But she never complained. 

It was fine. Until it wasn’t. 

Steve couldn’t even remember what made him laugh. But he was, so hard that his stomach was cramping, that he was feeling that sweet rush. 

“ What the hell ! Steve ! What do you laugh like that ? Steve ? It’s so weird !! Oh god you’re sound so stupid it’s perfect.” 

Steve was not the best at lip reading, especially with Dustin. ( and Mr Munson, his moustache was his worst nightmare but he would rather DIE than admit any difficulty to Eddie’s uncle.)

 But he understood. He understood enough. 

It was no voluntarily mean. Dustin was like that loud, and too franc, often rude without meaning to. It hurt. And the hurt borrowed deep. It changed him.

And no one seemed to notice. But, they rarely noticed Steve. No truly. 

He began to held back. He took the habit to hide, behind his hands, biting his lips, muffling any sound that would betray him. Ridicule him further. He spoke more with his hands than with his voice. And he never laugh. No out loud. Never again. Self-conscious. Hurt. Ashamed.

No one noticed.

It was fine, Steve was handling it. Until, Eddie. Eddie, always at his side, always touching him, bumping his shoulder, stroking the inside of his wrist to get his attention. Seeking his attention, his approval all the times. Eddie pushed, and pushed, always asking for more of him. His eyes always on him, watching, considering.

Steve felt seen. Naked.

Until, finally, head resting against his palm, Eddie asked. “ …you rarely speak anymore, Stevie, why’s that? I can’t even remember the last time I heard your voice. Hell, Erica’s joke was good, but you didn’t laugh. Why?”

At least, he waited for them to be alone to attack him. Because it felt like an assault, a personal one.

Eddie always craved more and he wanted to hear him laugh.

It was not the first time he asked. And Steve always shrugged, found a way to change the subject, to smile like it was nothing. All denial and escape.

“ I’m fine. It’s fine.”

And those dark eyes on him, always watching him, careful. “ No, no it’s not. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, sweetheart.”

Eddie was always watching him and recently, he was also making Steve blush way too often.

When it happens, when he relapses, Steve didn’t even notice at first. 

His cheeks were warm, his heart heavy with way too much feelings, way too much Eddie.

And Eddie was silent. Eddie who always teased, who could never let a silence stretch too laugh, wasn’t saying anything. He was only watching Steve, with the weirdest, softest smile. “ There you are, Stevie… There you are.”

And Steve startled under the brush of his hand against his smile, like a lover caress.

“…knew you could laugh. I wish you would laugh  more often, Sweetheart, you're so pretty when you laugh.”

“ What ? No, Eddie. It’s fine. Don’t be…like, that. It’s fine. I know I sound like a damn goat.” Steve could only offer an embarrassed smile, that looked more like a grimace. His cheeks were burning. “ m’ sorry you had to hear it.”

It’s a whiplash the way Eddie’s eyes darken, his mouth turned down. “ The fuck Stevie ? What the- Would told you that ?”

“ It’s fine. Really.” Steve tried to plead with his own eyes, to make Eddie understand, that really, he understood. The other man didn’t have to get all outraged for him. That it was fine.

“ No, no it’s not. That’s why you don’t…Steve. Don’t tell me you feel like you have to hide your own laugh?”

A flinch he didn’t manage to contain. His skin was on fire. If a small gate could open, at this right moment, Steve would jump in head first.  “…It’s fine.”

He watched, as Eddie worried his hair. “ Fuck, Steve…That’s not okay. Steve, listen.” He grimaced. “ Sorry.”

But Steve could never be upset with him. Especially now that his was cradling his hand between his own and watching him with the most troubling expression.

“ Look, Stevie. I love your laugh. It’s beautiful, pretty like you. You don’t have to be ashamed. It’s a little loud but fuck, that…the point ! If I knew who put this stupid idea into your heard, sweetheart, I would make him eat his words. Trust me.”

“…You…you think I’m pretty?”

And Eddie startled expression, his eyes oh so big, staring at him, as it was his turn to blush, made everything a little more okay.

[crunchchute]

My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!

[attyattlaw]

commission for @lawsbbygirl

posting the grey version bc i am biased

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[dykealloy]

[peakvincent]

new game is to type one through ten in your tags and see what comes up. i think my favorite of mine is ‘my uncle told us he spent seven and a half hours in a sensory deprivation tank once’ but ‘gideon the ninth motherfucker’ is a close second

[ruporas]

on the run!! (ID in alt)

[learnelle]

life update: at the start of September I was told I couldn’t study psychology anymore (after 2 part-time years!!) due to changes in my course structure. After crying literally all day, I enrolled in a Parisian university to study B2 level French, and studied hard for the entrance exam. I passed, and then my psych uni got back to me, saying they will make an exception, so I can continue to major in psych again. I’m not sure how I’ll balance 15 psych and 35+ french credits this year between 3 universities, but it seems like everything works out in the end.❤️

[wyrmswears]

its only been a day since the new episodes dropped and im already making a libber centric au out of it

anyway, heres some doodles of if libber was in super-hell all these years and thats why we never see her

[spirit-tracks]

Honestly so sweet (in a sad way) that Link was getting sucked into Eeby Deeby and his last action was making sure to crack Zelda's prison so she at least had a chance to escape :')

[hinamie]

fire nation festival wear aka a blatant excuse for me to push atla clothing design conventions to the absolute Limit

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[mirnightghost]

Starfalls. Again-

This time the endgame version, which I was inspired by while reading the fanfic. I just started thinking about what Steve ended up going through during Infinity War. Lost Bucky again, unable to save him. Lost new friends. For five years. According to Steve's inner clock, he only loses Bucky for two years the first time. And here...five years? Oh-

Then he loses Natasha, his last close friend. Yes, after that everyone who was turned to dust returned, but in the end Tony died. Therefore, a picture where Steve can finally allow himself to collapse. Release the burden of emotions. Mourning and at the same time relief that his Bucky is alive.

There..there are a lot of emotions there, really...

Oh and I enjoyed drawing this-- although I've gotten really into rendering again, I...yeah, I'm starting to feel more confident in drawing people. :']

[defectiveferalfreak]

i rediscovered @nicktoonsunite and @choraa ‘s art like wowie did they inspire me to dip my toes into NUverse??

also i cant believe Dib and Zim basically waltzed into NU:GoD, like WHATS UP B*TCHS WE  GONNA HELP WHETHER U WANT IT OR NOT like can u believe that lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Danse Macabre

[Commission]

[adreamfromnevermore]

Now that the boys have returned to London I have this really funny image in my head of the Cat King wandered around all the areas they frequented in Port Townsend lamenting their absence like a widow?

Just him (usually in cat form but occasionally human) flopping dramatically on a bench Edwin sat on twice (he wasn't even there for it).

Everyone in town thinks someone abandoned their cat and it's crying on the last street corner it saw them at. But it's just the Cat King sitting outside the butcher shop because Edwin kissed his cheek there and he misses him

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

one thing i really wish people wouldn’t forget when it comes to suguru’s character is that his core desire is just to have a family. not in a nuclear family way, but in a “i want a place where i belong / i want to protect the ones i love” way…… literally everything else is just an extension of that desire. a means to meet that end. he broke down after being forced to realize that staying with his family meant having to watch them die, so he left and made a new one. and he got stronger. and his core wish was always, always always to create a world where he’d finally be able to protect them :(((((((((