#ashton you are so annoying and i love you so much

[bratzforchris]

helloooo :) could you write a dom!luke with fem!reader where luke gets the idea of recording your moans while fucking and trying to get them sampled into a song and it’s just like really hardcore sex and stuff??

Five Sauce

꒰ ⊹ ˚ Summary — What starts as goofing off with your bandmates ends in something much, much more (Kinktober Day 17)

Pairing — 5sos (dom!ash, dom!cal, switch!luke, sub!michael) x female and band member!reader

Word Count — 3.3k

Content Warnings — Smut, group hookup, strong language, doggy style with multiple members, missionary, oral (m and f receiving), spanking every so often, handjobs, overstimulation, sub punishment by dom, orgasm denial, overall filth :3

Note — Well, I definitely strayed from this prompt a bit, but I hope you love it anyways! Please request in my ask box if you'd like the same thing, but solo Luke centric. I figured this counted as some good ole' hardcore smut >:> Also, please note that my writing does not reflect 5 Seconds of Summer in real life in any shape or form. This is for entertainment only.

DNI under 18 please :)

♡

“You’ve actually never had a threesome, Y/N?” Calum asked you. “No offense, but you’re kinda a whore.” he laughed. 

“Shut up,” You said, throwing a pillow towards him. “Some of us aren’t kinky fucks.”

“I mean, he didn’t lie.” Luke shrugged. 

You chuckled, kissing Luke’s cheek. Luke was definitely your closest thing to a partner, but there was definitely some erotic tension within the band. You’d shared makeouts with all, and sometimes two of, the boys, but you hadn’t done anything further than that with anyone besides Luke. 

“Who here thinks Y/N should have a threesome or moresome?” Michael asked, ever the kinky one. 

The band was currently over at Ashton’s house, trading song ideas and lyrics for the upcoming album, CALM. Somehow, probably because of the talk over Wildflower, the topic of conversation had changed from the album to sex. You didn’t mind, if anything, you rather enjoyed it. You’d been in the kink scene for a while, and the talk of having a hookup with more than one person excited you. 

“Oh, I absolutely do,” Ashton said finally, gnawing on his lip. “She needs it.” 

“Says who?” You asked. “You?”

Luke snorted. “You know Ashton loves to be in control.” 

“I dunno, Luke. You weren’t saying that after the Youngblood release party,” Calum scooted closer to the blond. “I definitely wrote ‘I love the way you’re screaming my name’ about that.”

Luke flushed, burying his face in your side. You knew he hooked up with the other guys every now and then, and for some reason, the thought turned you on more than it annoyed you. The blond was more often your dom than your sub, and the idea of him submitting to someone else was a very pretty image. 

“Fine,” You said, cutting right to the chase. “I’ll do it. But you guys have to help.” You chuckled, watching as their faces dropped. 

“Are you actually serious right now?” Michael asked, his dick hardening at the scene that was practically dangling in front of his face. 

“I am,” You nodded solemnly. “What? You guys are hot. Just because you’re my bandmates doesn’t mean I can’t say that.”

Michael moaned, laying himself on top of you and Luke, placed perfectly so that you could both feel his raging hard-on. “That’s so fuckin’ hot.”

“You’re a slut, Michael.” Calum chuckled before leaning in to softly suckle on Michael’s pale, milky neck while using his right hand to slowly palm Luke’s lap. 

The scene in front of you was already making your pussy throb with excitement and you crossed your legs, watching it unfold. Before you knew it, Ashton had come to sit beside you on his large, L-shaped couch. 

“Not participating in the fun, Y/N?” he asked you. “This is about you, y’know.” he hummed in your ear, voice husky. 

“Oh,” You moaned softly as Ashton ran his hand up and down your thigh. “Um.”

Michael and Luke looked at you when they heard you moan. Being a bit more sublike than Ashton and Calum, they were eager to please you. Luke pulled slightly away from Calum, just enough to run his tongue across your jawline and lips, slowly inserting into your mouth and beginning to make out with you. By this point, all five of you were touching each other somehow; the whole scene was definitely leading to something more, hence why Ashton stood up suddenly, hands on hips. 

“Luke, Michael, Y/N. Bedroom, now. We’ll be with you in a minute.” he said, nodding towards Calum and asserting his “dom” voice that you’d heard stories about. 

Michael immediately scampered off, eager to have someone dom him and take control, but you and Luke hung back a bit, eyeing each other. 

“Are you two deaf?” Calum asked. “Go.”

“What if I wanna dom?” Luke asked as he licked his lips, ever the brat. 

“Gee, Luke,” Ash hummed nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t want to have to punish you in front of Y/N, now would I?”

Luke blushed a bright pink, looking over at you. “I promise I’m a switch.”

“Yeah, like 20% of the time,” Calum snorted. “Now go.”

You both looked at each other and giggled a bit. You took the blond’s hand and led him to Ashton’s large master bedroom. Your face was already flushed and your sex was throbbing at the thought of watching Luke get punished by either Ashton or Calum. Michael had already propped himself up with a few silken pillows, completely naked and panting heavily as he tried to refrain from touching himself. 

“You really are a pro at being a whore, aren’t you?” You asked him. 

Michael nodded his head, whining softly. “Mmmmm, Luke.” he moaned. 

Luke laid down on the bed, patting the spot next to him for you to sit down. “Awww, you want me to fuck you and have Y/N watch? Wanna get humiliated in front of the hot girl?” he asked, trailing his fingers up and down Michael’s bare thighs. 

The green eyed-boy nodded, looking up at Luke through his lashes. “Uh huh.”

You blushed, kissing Luke’s neck. “Go on. Do it. Humiliate him.” You smirked. 

Luke turned towards you, pausing his seducing of Mike. “You need to be a good girl first. Strip.” he commanded.

You bowed your head and slowly pulled off your shirt, making sure Luke and Michael were watching. After you had tugged your shirt off, you turned your back so that Luke could unclasp your bra. Once he had done so, Luke tugged off his own clothes, eyeing both you and Michael in a seductive way.

“Help please?” You asked him in a sultry voice, fluttering your lashes. 

Luke smirked, landing a smack to your ass before undoing your bra and tossing it onto Michael. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

You blushed and then slid your pants off, doing the same thing with your underwear. Within just a few seconds both your panties and your bra were draped across Michael. The whole scene was like something out of a porn, and you knew that Ashton and Calukm would definitely be mad, but that wasn’t stopping the three of you. 

“Kneel, Y/N.” Luke said, denying Michael of any attention that he was so desperately whining and moaning for. 

You immediately did as Luke asked, blushing. “Yes sir.”

Luke eyed you up and down one time before smirking. “Good girl. Now watch.”

He turned to Michael and began to palm his dick, leaving hickeys across the boy’s pale, milky tummy. You couldn’t help but to feel turned on by the scene, your stomach tightening as you watched Luke’s fingers work Michael’s dick. Michael began to moan, throwing his head back and wiggling against the sheets. 

“I know you can do it.” Luke told Michael as he pumped him harder.

You were practically ready to cum yourself as you watched Michael grip handfuls of the sheets in hands as he tried so desperately not to release. Luke wasn’t showing the green eyed boy any mercy and it was hot. 

“Oh god, Luke.” he whimpered. 

“Ah ah, be good for Y/N.” Luke told him. 

Michael whined, wriggling and thrusting his hips. You crossed your legs and bit your lips, knowing you would be next for Luke if you didn’t listen. Even if he was a switch, Luke always pushed you as a dom, but you loved it. Finally, Luke decided he’d had enough of torturing Michael. He gave him one last thrust of the hand before speaking. 

“Go ahead, honey. Show Y/N how pretty you are when you cum.” Luke taunted, running his pointer finger down Michael’s tear-stained cheek. 

He didn’t need to be told twice; Michael immediately let go, covering his tummy and thighs, as well as Luke’s chest in thick, white ropes of cum. The boy panted as he rode out his high, grasping onto Luke’s forearms. 

“Huh huh…” he panted. “Thank you.” he moaned tiredly, smiling up at Luke a sleepy, fucked out smile. 

“You’re welcome. Good boy.” Luke cooed, kissing his forehead. 

When you heard Luke talk like that, you immediately let out a moan, crawling across the mountain of sheets towards him. “Need you.” You whimpered. 

“Did I tell you you could move?” Luke asked, raising a brow. 

You shook your head, looking down at the bed. “No, I’m sorry.”

Luke lifted your chin in his hand, glaring down at you. “You will ask me for permission in the future.”

You nodded, a blush speckling your cheeks. “I understand.”

“I think you need a little punishment, honey.” Luke said, as he bent to reach into Ashton’s nightstand. 

Despite this not being his house, there had been many hookups in this room, and Luke knew exactly where Ashton kept his condoms. He retrieved one from the drawer, pulling it out of the wrapper and rolling it onto Michael’s still erect cock. The blond nodded between you two before sitting back and crossing his arms. 

“Well. Since you two wanted to be so naughty, go for it. I’ll join in when I feel like it.” Luke said with a sneer. 

You and Michael looked at each other, before the green-eyed boy eventually bounded across the king sized bed to you. 

“You’re so pretty, Y/N.” he whispered, dipping his head. 

“On top.” You commanded Michael, knowing that would leave a way for Luke to join in which you so desperately wanted. 

He slowly did as you asked, sliding himself between your wet folds and jerking back instantly, in an almost teasing way. “Is this okay?”

“It’s perfect.” You panted out, so beyond horny. 

Suddenly, Michael slammed into you in a way that you didn’t know he was capable of. He began to ride you, moaning loudly and throwing his head back. You quickly joined in, the tightness of your pussy and the way Michael looked so pretty looking down at you making you so much more sensitive than usual. 

Before long, you were already near orgasm. His hips continued to grind into yours, the sound of his balls hitting your ass echoing around the room. You wondered what Ashton and Calum were doing that they hadn’t heard what was going on, but right now, you didn’t care. 

“Oh,” You whimpered. “Oh Mike. Gonna cum.” 

“Not yet,” Luke said out of the blue, straddling Michael’s hips from behind. “You’re not cumming until I say so. Both of you.”

The blond immediately slammed into Michael’s pretty, pink hole with no lube or condom, making the boy cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. The scene was like something out of a pornographic film. Michsel was topping you, panting heavily as Luke edged him, all three of you letting out sensual, seductive moans, whimpers, and pants. 

“Gonna cum.” You and Michael cried at nearly the same time. 

Luke was also nearing his climax, but he was much more skilled at holding his in and being edged than you two were. 

“Go ahead, Y/N. Cum for…” Michael’s sentence was interrupted by the door flying open. 

“What is this?” Calum asked, surveying the scene. 

Luke immediately pulled out of Michael and kneeled, looking down at the bed. “‘M sorry…” he whispered. 

Michael did the same with, quickly covering himself with the sheets and hiding his face in a throw pillow. You straightened up, trying oh-so-desperately to clench your legs. The way the boys had interrupted you three was perhaps the cruelest form of edging there was. 

“Save it, Luke. You know what happens to naughty boys.” Ashton sneered, sitting down on the bed and giving Luke’s blond curls a slight tug. 

Luke whined, his head becoming fuzzy as he slipped into subspace. Michael was already in his headspace, but the way Calum, who was his regular dom, was looking at him made him sink further and further in.

“I think Luke and Michael need to watch,” Ash stated. “I know they’re the ones that started it. They’re just little sluts, right boys?”

Luke nodded his head slowly, blushing. “Yes, sir.”

Michael didn’t speak, but nodded his head, giggling softly.

“Good job,” Ash patted each of their knees before roughly grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him. “As for you.”

He began to make out with you passionately, pinning you to the bed as Calum stroked your inner thighs, exciting your nerves. You had never gone further than a drunken makeout with either of the boys, but you were so horny and so close to cumming at the current moment that they were absolutely turning you on. 

“Look at her,” Calum said, placing kisses on your thighs. “So desperate for a cock.”

You moaned into Ashton's kisses, tugging on Calum’s curls. The entire scene was beyond hot. All five of you were spread out across Ashton’s large bed. Luke and Michael were sitting at the foot of it, completely naked and trying not to touch themselves as they watched the doms make out with you. Calum was caressing your thighs with both his hands and his lips, kissing along your slit ever so teasingly. 

Ashton had your arms pinned to the bed and was heatedly making out with you, every so often tugging on your hair. “You want me, baby? Want me cock inside your pretty little pussy?”

You whimpered and nodded, tensing and clenching your legs as Calum hit a particularly sensitive spot. “Oh…”

“I’ll save the best for last. Let Cal have his fun. You two,” he nodded over at Luke and Michael. “Get cleaned up and in pajamas. You’re going to bed without getting off, sweets. That’s what happens when you get Y/N in trouble.” Ashton’s tone was firm, but he did press a kiss to Luke and Michael’s forehead as they trudged into the bathroom. 

Ashton leaned back against the headboard and pulled his shirt off, smirking to himself as he watched Calum’s tongue edge closer and closer to your opening. The raven-haired boy crouched fully and slowly began to run his tongue along your folds, licking over your clit. 

If there was one thing Calum was famous for in the bedroom, it was not giving a warning. He began to eat out without a word, tongue thrusting in and out of your hole and going over your clit. You locked your legs around his head, crying out. 

“Cal. Feels so good.” You nearly hollered. 

He smirked, lifting his head up so he could speak. “Need to cum already, princess?”

You nodded your head, gripping the sheets and throwing your head back, deep, throaty moans eliciting from your mouth. 

“Not a chance.” he smirked, landing a smack to your ass as he ate you out faster and harder. 

By this point, tears were practically streaking down your cheeks. The lingering feeling of being edged earlier, combined with how good Calum’s tongue felt against your sensitive nerves was pushing you over the edge. 

“Please, need to cum.” You cried. 

“I know you can hold it, baby girl.” he moaned, the vibrations just feeding the feeling even more. 

You shoved your face into your hand as you cried, bucking your hips up. Calum was just making you feel so, so good that your brain was overloaded. “Please.”

Eventually, Calum decided he’d had his fun with you. You’d been such a good girl, and for that, you deserved to cum. “Go ahead, baby. Cum all over my face.” he hummed. 

You immediately did as told, thrusting closer to him as you let go, your cum coating his face. Calum lifted his head up and smirked, wiping the cream from his eyes. “Good fuckin’ girl. She’s a good one, Ash.” he said to his bandmate as he pulled off his shirt. 

You blushed, dipping your head as you caught your breath. “Thank you.”

Ashton smirked, practically ripping off his pants after seeing what a good sub you were. “I want you to watch while I have my fun, Cal. Enjoy yourself.” he chuckled. 

Although Calum was also a dom, Ashton had fallen into the role of lead dom for this particular scene. The brown-eyed boy removed his clothes when Ashton spoke, ready to get off on the scene unfolding before his eyes. 

The honey blond removed his pants before towering over your exhausted frame on his knees. You blushed as you eyed him up and down, staying a minute on his dick. He was much bigger than Luke and Michael and as you glanced over, bigger than Calum as well. 

“Suck.” Ashton demanded. 

You moved yourself to your knees, kneeling before Ashton and fluttering your lashes up at him. “Okay.” You smiled shyly. 

You put his tip in your mouth, running your tongue over the head. Slowly, you took more and more of Ashton’s cock into your mouth. You were bobbing your head and sucking him off rhythmically, giving him quite good head. Eventually, you reached the back of your throat and tried not to gag. The last bit of Ashton’s ten inch dick that you couldn’t fit in your mouth you began to pump with your right hand. 

“Good girl.” Ashton moaned, throwing his head back. 

You began to bob your head faster and harder, matching the erotic noises coming from Calum’s mouth beside you as he got himself off. By this point, Michael and Luke had returned from the bathroom where they had cleaned themselves up and were watching the current threesome with wide eyes. They were so used to being dommed by Ashton and Calum that although they weren’t getting fucked themselves, watching them fuck you was a treat in itself. 

“Oh baby, makin’ me feel so good.” Ash said, tugging on your hair and wiggling his hips.

You looked up at him and tried to smile, giving him one last suck as you felt his dick twitch, indicating his need to cum. 

“Gonna cum, Y/N.” he panted. 

Ashton pulled your hair tightly one more time before releasing, all of his cum shooting down your throat. You pulled off his dick, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and smiling. You were absolutely exhausted and the feeling of Ashton’s cum coating your throat was making you feel beyond good. 

“Thank you.” You whispered. 

“You’re such a good girl,” Ashton cooed, kissing your forehead. 

Just as he said that, Calum reached his own climax and came in his hand, moaning loudly. He smirked as he realized the other four of you had just watched him get off and based by the lustful looks in all of your eyes, you had enjoyed it. 

“That’s so hot…” Luke whispered, blue eyes wide. 

Ashton pulled a pack of baby wipes out of his nightstand and pulled a few out before passing the pack to Luke. “Help with aftercare, sweet boy.”

The blond began to wipe down Calum’s chest and hand, leaving kisses along his tanned body as Michael wrapped him in a cuddle. Ashton did the same for you, wiping down your mouth and chest, making sure to praise you and leave kisses all over your body. He quickly wiped himself down before laying down and pulling you into his chest. 

You two scooted over to where Michael, Luke, and Calum were laying. “Band cuddle,” You giggled sleepily. “Thank you guys. For helping me have my first group hookup.” You chuckled. 

“We should get Y/N’s moans sampled into a song,” Luke suggested. “That would sell so many fuckin’ records.”

You giggled softly, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek. “I love you guys. All of you.” 

You got a chorus of “I love you, Y/N”’s back, which made you feel so warm inside. You and this band had had nothing but love for each other for the past nine years. Now, you were finally getting to show it in more ways than one, and you couldn’t be happier. 

[bones4thecats]

Twisted Wonderland Incorrect Quotes

Sebek Zigvolt: Didn't you die?! MC: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change. Riddle Rosehearts: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying. Ace Trappola: And? Riddle Rosehearts: And you are. Floyd Leech: Start talking! Random Octavinelle Student: Well, I- Floyd Leech: Shut up!

Kalim Al-Asim: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Jamil? Jamil Viper: No. Kalim Al-Asim: I think I speak for Jamil when I say it sounds really super. Grim: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late. Leona Kingscholar: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again. Vil Schoenheit: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Epel Felmeir: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!! Azul Ashengrotto: Your Honor, I hereby submit the following to the court: Azul Ashengrotto: Floyd, what the actual FUCK? Malleus Draconia: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff. Leona Kingscholar: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS! Ortho Shroud: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media. Cop: You ran a red light. Cater Diamond: So did you, hypocrite. Cop: I was following you. Cater Diamond: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver. Cop: Get out. Idia Shroud: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul. Lilia Vanrouge: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’. Vil Schoenheit: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me. Eliza: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me. Trey Clover: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on. Jade Leech: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck. Jack Howl: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Ruggie Bucchi: They do. Jack Howl: ...Why did you say that with such certainty? Divus Crewel: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity? Literally Anyone, turning to Ace Trappola: How tall are you? Epel Felmier: Housewarden, I’m afraid. Vil Schoenheit: Just stay close to Rook. Epel Felmier: That's why I’m afraid. Rook Hunt, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way. Sam: Good morning. Mozus Trein: Good morning. Divus Crewel: Good morning. Dire Crowley: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Ashton Vargas: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS! Mozus Trein: Where’s Crowley? Sam: Doing stuff. Mozus Trein: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Crewel? Sam: Trying to stop Crowley from doing the stuff. Mozus Trein: And Vargas? Sam: Trying to stop Crewel from stopping Crowley from doing the stuff. Mozus Trein: I see. And what are you doing here, Sam? Sam: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Vargas from stopping Crewel from stopping Crowley from doing the stuff.

[souperbloom]

strip. [A.I.]

you know i had to do it to em. i know we were all thinking it. ur welcome.

Ashton’s been hard at work on his upcoming album, and you want to let him know you’re still his biggest fan.

a/n: this was lowkey so rushed but idc i needed to get it out of my system.

CONTENT WARNINGS: smut!, pet names, dirty talk, unprotected sex (yeehaw), biting (???).

WORDCOUNT: 3.1k

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

"Ash, food! Come and get it!"

It had been days since you last saw your boyfriend.

Okay, maybe not days. But it had definitely been more than a few hours since the last time since he had actually spoken to you.

Despite time passing, all of your days had been meshing into one; since they all started and ended the same.

Ashton wakes up; eons earlier than you have ever dreamed to. He kisses you on the forehead, stirring you slightly awake from your REM sleep. He then goes downstairs to make himself a coffee, washes the single mug he dirtied and after all’s said and done; he’s off to the home studio for the unforeseeable future.

You would love if he had, just once, let you do all of the things you still adore doing for him. Like making him breakfast, or playing music from your joint Spotify playlist while you tend to the houseplants and he jots lyrics down in his tattered up notebook.

But things have changed since the beginning stages of the album-making process. There were no more laid back days; no more idea bouncing sessions with his mates or trips to Mars on your outdoor patio after sharing a joint or two. It was all just work, work, work.

If you were more honest with yourself, you’d tell him it annoyed you.

But you loved him too damn much to care.

"Ashton! Dinner!"

You try your luck again at shouting to him, but eventually realize that the sound barrier between the kitchen upstairs and the studio downstairs was far too widespread for him to hear you.

With a disgruntled huff, you grab his dinner plate, and trot your way down the stairs into the abyss, as you so lovingly nicknamed it.

"Ash, dinner’s ready," You start your sentence before you round the corner and hop down the last few steps, making sure not to drop the plate of piping hot food. But when you enter the studio, you don’t see your sweet boyfriend hunched over the soundboard with a guitar pick in his mouth as you typically would.

Instead, he was lounging on the couch. The little leather loveseat that the two of you had picked up off the side of the road and got sent out to be cleaned. You figured it’d be a great addition to his workspace, while he was a bit apprehensive at first.

But after a month or two, he started to love his little leather loveseat. He’d use it to take breaks; or, in those rare moments where he’d share the music he’s been working on, it would be your place to sit.

On the couch, Ashton’s body was strewn. With his heather green guitar lazily rested on his hip, he mindlessly plucked a work-in-progress bass line. You swallowed at the sight of him, stopping in your tracks.

"You know, we have a perfectly good couch upstairs for you to be hammering out bass lines on."

Ashton’s eyes lock into yours, his steely face of concentration lifting upon seeing you. Yet, his fingers still slid up and down on the fretboard, as if not to lose his train of thought.

"This is my thinking couch. Can’t get shit done up there with all those windows. Makes me feel like a bat when I’ve been down here all day."

"I think you’re more like a vampire," you chuckle, setting down his food on the table beside him, "But still, it’s fucking lame."

"I admire your eloquence, baby… Lame how?" His eyes had reverted to the neck of his guitar.

"Lame, as in, you’re down here all fucking day and I miss my boyfriend. Sue me for being selfish but, I think my feelings are justified."

Ashton’s lips tug to the side, while his eyes remain glued to his musical progress, "Really? I thought having me down here was a nice little break from all the bangin’ on pots and pans we used to do. I’m workin’ on the real shit now."

"Screw the real shit. I miss you. It’s dumb that you have to be down here all the time."

You toss your hands in the air in faux frustration before planting them on your hips. But his gaze doesn’t waver. He knows you’re standing in front of him yet can’t seem to divert his attention away from whatever he’d been working on.

"Hellooooo…?"

He acknowledges you slightly, like a dog whose ears perk up when you call out its’ name.

"Mhmmm?"

A wry chuckle falls past your lips, "This is ridiculous. Y’know what—"

Out of pure frustration, and with lack of sense to do anything else, you take off your shirt. You weren’t sure of what possessed you to, but it seemed to be the right thing. Ashton’s mossy eyes popped up almost immediately.

You toss your borrowed t-shirt, stolen right from his closet, onto the ground.

"Well, glad I could get your attention," you gaff.

"You’ve always had my attention, baby. Just didn’t wanna lose my place."

A small smirk sprawls across your cheeks as Ashton fully sets down his guitar. It’s now lying horizontally across his lap.

"Don’t you ever get bored down here?" You ask, subconsciously crossing your arms as you remember that you’re now shirtless.

"I won’t lie, I do. And sometimes when I do, eventually, get bored, my mind likes to wander."

His reply is proceeded with a chuckle, one that’s laced with something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. But his eyes continued a trail down your body, stopping at the waistline of your sweatpants, then back up to you.

"Oh, really? Where does it wander off to? God only knows what you think about when you’re locked away in the abyss."

"If I was a liar, I’d sit here and tell you that I’m only thinking about the shit that’s in front of me. But baby, I’m an honest man; you know exactly what I think about."

"Hm," you hum, challengingly, "Can’t say I do."

Ashton’s arm moves slowly as he leans back and rests his head on his palm. The star tattoo on his bicep flexes beneath the ambient lighting of the studio, and you can’t help but just stare.

"She’s standing right in front of me."

Your face tinges pink at his words, rubbing your arm bashfully as if he was some sort of pickup artist and you were being swept off your feet. It didn’t matter how long it had been since the day you two met, his charm never faltered.

"She’s in here? Right now? Wow, I’m starstruck." You try your hand at jabbing, to ignore the warm buzzing feeling in your stomach.

"Don’t play stupid, baby. You know you’re the only one capable of grabbing my attention like this."

Ashton shifts in his position comfortably. His legs spread a tad bit wider, and the hand not holding his head was now drumming rhythmically against his thigh.

He was taking in the sight of you as if he had never seen you before.

"Really?" You ask a question, already knowing the answer.

"Yup."

"Interesting…"

As your sentence trails, a thought bounces around in your mind for a moment:

Would it be the worst thing in the world to ‘put on a show’ for your boyfriend, who had spent the last six months of his life devoting his time, energy, and soul into an album for the world?

Would it be wrong for you to think about how much you knew he’d enjoy it? How much you’d enjoy it?

As the thought plagues you, rendering you momentarily useless as your stare darts around his dreamy frame, Ashton reads your mind.

"Strip."

"What?" Your mouth hangs slightly at your boyfriend’s bluntness.

"You heard me, baby. I said, strip."

That slack jaw of yours morphs into a wicked smile, wordlessly obliging to his command.

Ashton’s relaxed body sprawled out on the couch guffaws at you, as you hook your thumbs onto the waistband of your sweatpants.

You slowly start to sway your hips, matching up with the rhythm of some imaginary song. The band of your underwear peeks out over the top and once you notice that he had gotten a good look, you swiftly pull your pants back up.

It was called a strip tease for a reason.

Repeating the motions from before, you eventually shimmy out of those sweatpants, and are left solely in a frilly bralette and boy-shorts.

"Pardon the underwear selection," you giggle, "didn’t realize I’d be putting on a show today.

Ashton’s body language had changed slightly; you noticed the bead of sweat that had formed and began rolling down his forehead, merely at the sight of you. He swallows harshly before he replies.

"You could’ve walked out here in a paper bag. Wouldn’t matter a damn’ thing."

Your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth at his compliment. He never fails to make you nervous, even after all this time. His eyes alone were one of the most intimidating things about him. You could feel them searing into you as your gaze drops down to your feet, momentarily stopping your motions.

"Finish your show, baby," his words snap you out of your trance, "you wanted my attention, right?…I’m all yours."

As his legs spread wider and his head dips back comfortably to rest onto his palm, the confidence within you fronts again. With a cheeky smile, you reach behind your back, twisting around to show him your hands fiddling with the clasp of your bralette.

You hear rustling from behind you as you eventually free yourself from the fabric, wiggling out of it and letting the strap hang on the tip of your finger. You shoot a glance at him, over your shoulder.

"How’s that?"

He sighs, "Perfect."

With a flick of your hair, you turn back around, fully topless. To raise the stakes, you take it upon yourself to run your hands down the front of your chest and over your breasts. He groans lowly at that motion, grabbing his guitar by the neck and gently resting it at his side.

Now, at the most intimidating part of your show, your hands linger above the band of your underwear. Ashton gazes at you hungrily, slickly moving his hand towards the crotch of his jeans.

It takes everything inside of you not to whine as you notice his hand slowly starting to palm his bulge, held captive by fabric. It catches you off guard, and you freeze yet again.

"Nobody told you to stop."

Almost as if his demands were a form of hypnosis, you resume what you’d started. The band of your underwear hooks effortlessly around your thumbs as you gently tug them down, slightly showing off your bikini line.

His eyes draw in like a magnet, seemingly becoming less and less in control of his senses as you move.

Your underwear pools at your ankles; body completely stripped bare in front of your still, fully clothed, boyfriend. Something about his sultry looks almost felt humiliating, although that wasn’t something you were necessarily upset with.

It still drove you the same amount of crazy.

"Fuck," Ashton mutters, breaking the tense silence that had been lingering over your heads, "you’re a sight to behold, baby."

His hand was still squeezing at the hard-on in his jeans, the notch in his forehead growing increasingly more prominent as he fought to hold back his urges.

Without another word, you traipse over to him slowly; attempting to enchant him with the sway of your hips and the glittering of your skin beneath the studio lights.

"’Been missing you a lot." Your voice holds a certain innocence to it, acting as though you had no clue of the absolute turmoil your actions were subjecting him to.

"I miss you too," Ashton coos, "I bet my girl gets so lonely upstairs without me, doesn’t she?"

A chill runs down your spine as he slowly sits up from his slouched position, and anchors his hands on your waist. He guides your naked body gently onto his lap, letting you straddle him comfortably.

"Mmh, ‘does get lonely without you. Can’t think straight, sometimes."

"Oh, you poor thing… I’m sorry, my sweet girl."

The back of his hand reaches up to caress your cheek, words dripping with tender loving care, before he’s straining his neck to wrap you into a kiss.

The kiss starts off slow; gently nipping at one another and feeling the motions of your lips entwined. But as your hips subconsciously start to grind down into the hardened length in his jeans, something primal washes over you.

Your tongue slips into his mouth without any regard for savoring this moment, heating up the kiss instantly. The grip he has on your waist gets tighter, as his fingers dig into the soft flesh near your hips.

Nipping at your bottom lip with his teeth, Ashton groans, "Can’t wait much longer, baby… Been— been wantin’ to fuck you since you walked down here."

A smirk plays on your face as his neediness overpowers any other emotion present in the room. His mouth wanders down to your neck while he struggles to blindly undo his jeans.

While enjoying the trail of wet kisses inching down to your collarbone, you aim to help him free himself from his pants, fumbling with his fingers and the buttons with a soft giggle.

"Slow down, baby—" your words ring barely above a whisper, "I’m not going anywhere."

Ashton’s head pops up from your clavicle once he finally gets down his zipper, "Better not be."

To your surprise, Ashton was going about this a lot more unhurried than you had anticipated. His words read as frantic, yet his actions felt as though he was savoring each and every feeling of you. You didn’t want to disrupt the already perfect rhythm he had been keeping; so you let him continue on as he wished.

He scoops up your idle hand that had been resting towards the waistline of his jeans and moves it to the pocket of his briefs. Your eyes find his briefly, and a knowing glance is shared.

"Gonna start slow, yea? You okay with that? Wanna savor it… Haven’t been inside you in a while. Missed my girl…"

Swallowing back the excited lump in your throat, you nod, "That’s fine, baby. No— no rush."

Your eyes widen as he guides your hand, freeing his throbbing cock from his underwear. A sigh of bliss tumbles past his lips the moment you wrap your hand around him.

"Lean back, baby… ‘Wanna see—"

Following is command, you lean back, resting your hands just above his knees. You lift up your hips while gazing at him through hooded eyes, waiting for him to adjust.

It’s not long before he’s swiping his tip against your clit, bringing the both of you into a collective, melodic sigh.

Ashton was right; he hadn’t been inside of you in a while. The two of you had been so preoccupied with life that you had barely made enough time for each other. You’d almost forgotten what it felt like until he was guiding himself inside of you.

Expletives and moans immediately begin filling the room as you lower yourself down onto his length fully. His breath hitches, eyes glued down to where your bodies met.

"Fuck, baby… Missed watching this… Missed watchin’ that pretty pussy swallow me whole… Fuckin’— missed you."

With a slack jaw, you start your rhythm of slowly bouncing up and down, the feeling of him filling you up made you complete in more ways than you could fathom. Your walls tightened with each stroke, one more rough than the next.

Each time you lower yourself down to meet his pelvis, he bottoms out, snapping his hips up to meet yours and making you cry out in pleasure. His eyes can’t seem to decide whether or not to watch your face, or his cock disappearing inside of you.

"Ashton, please— Need more… More, please…"

He grunts at your gentle tone, still keeping that slow pace. He had mentioned wanting to savor this moment, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.

"C’mere," he pants, motioning with his head for you to lean forward. You, of course, oblige, wrapping your arms around his neck with a sigh.

Rather than you doing the work, Ashton had resorted to restarting that pace by snapping his hips up to meet yours. Your name rattles off of his tongue in grumbled mutters as his hold on you tightens, the sounds of skin slapping together engulfing his words and making them inaudible.

You allow him to fuck into you without any complaints, letting your eyes roll back into your head with each upward slam. It was obvious how difficult it was for him to keep his composure.

"Christ, baby," he growls lowly, "drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy."

Another loud moan is released from the back of your throat as Ashton abruptly stops his rambling by sinking his teeth into your shoulder. You yelp on impact, yet slowly ease into the sharp pain as he continues to bottom out inside of you.

"Ash, oh my god," you whine, overwhelmed with the sensation of your impending orgasm meshing with the pleasure of the pain.

He grunts beneath you, each thrust rougher than the last— you could tell he was close by the sloppiness of his strokes and his grip on your waist loosening.

His jaw clenches on your shoulder before letting go as he looks your disheveled face in the eye.

"Gonna cum… Gonna’ cum real’ soon… Please, baby… Let me fill you up— gonna’ make you feel so good…"

You nod without a second thought, your bouts of praise turning into incoherent mumbling as your orgasm creeps towards its peak.

"Cum inside me Ash, please… Let me feel you baby— fuck!"

Your body betrays your senses as your orgasm rumbles through you, Ashton following suit shortly after as he releases inside of you with one last buck of his hips. Your bodies collapse onto one another, the sweat and heat igniting a spark between you.

With a gentle comb through your hair, Ashton’s hand traipses down to the back of your neck. You could faintly hear his heart beating through his chest as he holds you, the two of you simultaneously collecting your breathing.

"Thanks for the show, baby," Ashton chuckles, petting your back as you regulate your vitals; his cock still buried deep inside of you.

You can’t help but hum, satisfied with the thought of letting your dirty fantasies dictate your actions.

"If this didn’t prove how much I’ve been missing you," You pop your head up to place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose, "I’m not sure anything will."

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

[pstelwitchcraft]

I love Laudna and Ashton so much.

Laudna dropping their backstory last ep and Ash getting kinda pissed and going "yeah it was awful, like really traumatic and shit. Thank you for reminding me of that" and Laudna pretty much ignoring them in both an effort to divert from her and her girlfriend but also to get them to FINALLY maybe deal with their shit is so..... they're siblings your honor. They're besties. They annoy each other for the other's own good. They have heavy, profound conversations while getting drunk in random taverns. They get each other so much and also not AT ALL and it somehow works because there is so much reckless care there it could power a city. I am OBSESSED with them.

[beauregardlionett]

we made peace with the empty hourglass (the word limit's gone and you came home)

AO3 Link

It wasn’t often that Fearne was the one awake and Orym the one out cold. Yet, here they were—Orym fast asleep with the fingers of one hand tangled in her leg fur, and Fearne on watch with Chetney. 

Since they had returned from Ruidus, Fearne thought they might catch a break, maybe travel on their own whims for a while with the chance to breathe. But they had been so busy, leaving almost no time to think or talk unless it was regarding their current goal. Earlier that evening, they had finally completed their latest mission after several grueling days of sleuthing and fighting. After all that, the party decided to extend their return journey so they could rest and relax for a few days.

Which landed them here, with Orym deeply asleep for once. Fearne had watched him wear himself to the bone, had borne witness to fresh scars and new fears that would never be addressed. She loved her little Halfling so dearly, but sometimes she wished he would let her protect him the same way he protected all of them. It seemed the least she could do was to sit sentinel over him like this while his guard was down.

The night was quiet—peaceful. Fearne drank in the steady melody of Chetney carving away at a new project, underscored by the soft, slumbering breaths of Fearne’s friends. However, beneath this gentle chorus, Fearne picked up on a sudden, discordant note.

Straightening, careful not to jostle Orym, Fearne’s ears flicked as her eyes scanned the shadowed trees beyond the light of their campfire. Chetney’s carving paused as he glanced up at Fearne in silent question.

Snap.

Fearne’s head whipped around, staring off into the shadows on her left. Chetney tracked the sound as well, eyes sharp and carving forgotten. His knuckles were white where he tightened his grip around his chisel.

She caught sight of movement just outside the glow of the firelight, and opened her mouth to call out, to scare off whatever or whoever dared approach them.

“Fearne? Chet?” 

Whatever Fearne was about to say choked off into a startled gasp, her heart leaping in her chest as the shadowed figure stepped into the light.

“Dorian?” Fearne said, voice thick with joyful disbelief. He grinned at her even as he pressed a finger to his lips, his gaze darting around to their sleeping companions. Dorian looked road weary, but otherwise unharmed. He looked stronger, too—a little sharper at the edges, more confident in the line of his posture.

Fearne had missed him so much.

“Holy crap,” Chetney breathed, grinning as he leapt to his feet and threw his arms around Dorian’s leg. “How did you find us, you little shit?”

Dorian laughed softly, reaching down to pat the top of Chetney’s head, looking unbearably fond. 

“It’s a long story,” Dorian whispered. “One I’m happy to tell in the morning after I’ve slept and greeted everyone.”

Chetney released Dorian’s leg with a half-hearted grumble about having to wait, but went back to his project without further complaint. Dorian stepped around a slumbering Ashton to sink down next to Fearne and fall into her sideways hug. Fearne wrapped him up tight in her arms, content to never let him go again if she had any say in the matter. She let him pull away, though, only so she could get a good look at his face and hold his hand with ease.

“I missed you,” Fearne said, voice soft and wobbly. “We all did.”

“And I’ve missed you,” Dorian said. “The Crown Keepers send their regards, by the way.”

“How’s Opal?” Fearne asked, tightening her grip on Dorian’s hand. Her worry for their beloved friend was something she couldn’t put off or ignore until morning. “Is she doing alright?”

“She’s as well as we could expect her to be. Still annoying the shit out of Lolth, of course.”

Fearne relaxed minutely, laughing softly. “That’s good.”

She glanced around at the group, making sure they weren’t disturbing anyone with their hushed conversation. When she looked back at Dorian, however, she found him staring down at her opposite hip, his expression wistful and complicated. Fearne followed his eye line to Orym’s tiny fingers, barely visible over the top of her thigh. The rest of him remained hidden in the draping folds of her cape he was using as a blanket.

“How is he?” Dorian whispered, voice almost indiscernible over the fire and the lull of slumbering breaths.

Fearne hesitated. They never got the chance to tell Dorian the full scope of what had occurred since he left with his brother. He didn’t know both of them had died, the details of their mission on Ruidus, or that they had been separated following the events at the Key. In turn, they knew little of what Dorian had been through with his brother and the Crown Keepers. There was so much to say in response to such a simple question.

“Tired,” Fearne settled on, and felt exactly how lackluster an answer it was the moment she said it. Being able to say as much as she wanted after being constricted to twenty-five words for so long was not such a simple transition, it seemed. “A lot has happened, and he shoulders things he shouldn’t—just like always.”

Dorian’s face did something complicated as he kept staring at Orym’s hand.

“He missed you,” Fearne said at length, smiling sadly when Dorian’s gaze shot up to meet her own. “He tried to message you every day, even when we knew the Sending Stone wasn’t working.”

Dorian’s expression twisted into something pained as he huffed out a strained exhale, looking away. It took him a long moment to find his composure, but eventually he turned back to Fearne and spoke in a watery tone, “so did I.”

Fearne reached out and pulled him back into her side, sighing happily at the realization that she finally had both her boys here beside her.

Orym made a quiet noise beneath her cloak and shifted, fingers tightening in her fur. Dorian pulled back enough to peer down at him, expression bright and hesitant at once. Fearne moved her arm, giving Dorian the freedom to move around to her other side and shift the cloak away from Orym.

“Fearnie?” Orym mumbled, still half asleep. “Is it my watch?”

“Not quite,” Fearne said, her voice wobbling with emotion. Orym, ever perceptive, startled awake at her tone, concern lining his features before he was even fully upright. He opened his mouth, likely to ask if she was okay, before he caught sight of Dorian in his periphery and froze. Orym turned to Dorian and stared at him for a suspended moment of absolute silence.

“Hello,” Dorian whispered after a pause long enough to leave Fearne wondering if they would ever say anything. He smiled at Orym, shaky and hesitant, but intensely joyful.

“Dorian?” Orym said, his voice strained as it cracked over the syllables of his name. “Is this real?”

“Yes,” Dorian breathed, laughing wetly. “Quite real.”

“How…I mean–when did–?” Orym cut himself off with an unsteady exhale before launching himself into Dorian’s chest and wrapping him up in a hug so tight it almost looked painful. Fearne grinned, wide and aching, as Dorian gathered Orym closer and pressed a firm kiss to the top of Orym’s head. Both of their shoulders were shaking—from tears or joy Fearne couldn’t be sure. But she stared at them and her heart was full.

“You didn’t answer last time I messaged you,” Fearne heard Orym say where he had his face smushed into Dorian’s shoulder. “I thought you…I thought the worst.”

“I’m sorry,” Dorian said, voice pained. “I had already tried using the Stone that day when you called. And then I tried again the next day, and it was like the Stone never worked at all.”

“We were back on Ruidus by then,” Orym said with a quiet sniffle. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Dorian pressed another kiss to Orym’s head and glanced up at Fearne, his smile tired but real. “Me too.”

Fearne reached over and placed a hand on Orym’s back, her other cupping Dorian’s cheek. She had her boys, safe and whole.

“You should sleep,” Fearne whispered, pulling back to spread out her cloak beside her again, patting it invitingly. Orym made a soft, panicked noise before Dorian could move, making both Dorian and Fearne freeze.

“Orym?” Dorian said, trying to sound calm despite the concern on his face. Fearne watched him smooth a hand down Orym’s back without trying to get Orym to release his hold.

“Don’t leave.”

It was clear to Fearne that Orym had meant to say it like a question instead of the painful plea it ended up being. Her heart broke a little with the realization that he was scared—their tiny, unflappable guardian admitting a fraction of his loneliness.

“I won’t,” Dorian said with fierce conviction. “I will be here come sunrise, Orym—I promise.”

He glanced up at Fearne with a mix of emotions on his face as he clung to Orym. She patted her cloak again, gesturing for him to lie down beside her while she continued her shift with Chetney. Dorian, without releasing his hold on Orym, curled up on top of the soft fabric and pressed his forehead against Fearne’s hip. He tucked Orym’s head beneath his chin and exhaled at length. Fearne buried her fingers in Dorian’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp.

“Love,” Fearne whispered.

“Love,” Dorian responded immediately, his smile curling up at her.

“Love, love,” Orym mumbled from where he still refused to part from Dorian. “Missed you.”

Dorian didn’t respond, but Fearne saw the way he tightened his hold on Orym and curled up just a little more.

Big spoon, middle spoon, little spoon—a complete set once again.

[d3sertdream3r]

I’ve noticed a lot of rancid takes about Taliesin’s characters that are annoying me, so I’m going to rant for a minute. 

Tal has perfected the art of creating paradoxical characters, and I think a lot of people end up getting lost and confused in the layers. This is not a “if you don't get it, you’re dumb” type of thing. It’s just that I wish people would truly ponder his characters and why they’re the way they are because they’re not the stereotypical protagonists that North American entertainment focuses on. They’re not strictly kind and generous, intelligent and charming, or hateful and arrogant. They’re all of the above. 

A lot of western media features characters that are fairly cut and dry and easy to understand. There isn’t a ton of complexity happening, and from what I’ve seen, the majority of the people hating on his characters and role-play style are from areas where they aren't used to Tal’s type of character. They’re not used to characters having multiple characteristics that seem to contradict each other all at once (even though that’s how people are in real life). I’m guessing that’s part of why they don't like them, but who knows. 

Caduceus is the least paradoxical of his characters, which is why I think most people say he’s their favorite of Tal’s characters. He is the personification of a fluffy blanket and a warm hug. What’s not to love?? Percy, Molly/Kingsley, and Ashton on the other hand, are all much rougher around the edges. The point of them is to provide the opposite of comfort for the audience; they're meant to make people a little uncomfortable. They hold up a mirror to the audience and force us to look at the parts of humanity that we try to avoid. Not the pure evil of mankind that Matt’s villains often show, but something even more sad and hard to swallow. 

Audiences tend to like characters that deal with trauma through humor and/or charm. People benefit from these types of characters by laughing at them or lusting over them. There’s nothing wrong with this by any means; that’s all part of the fun of fandom! However, characters that deal with their trauma in ways that are more raw and painful tend to be disliked. 

Percy is filled with constant fear that his past will haunt his future. He is convinced that wherever he goes, the darkness will follow and the pain awaits. He has horrible nightmares and lives with incessant paranoia, yet faces the deadliest monsters, demons, gods, etc with nothing but his wit and a gun. He can't stop inventing, not just to glorify himself but to protect everyone. He’s so many things at once, which is what makes him so real and complex and fascinating. 

Molly/Kingsley’s story is about wondering who you truly are and not meeting expectations of those you care about. Imagine that you’re not the only one comparing yourself to someone else; all your friends are too. You’re trying to figure out what defines you while feeling like everyone you know wants you to be someone else. His story is also filled with questions about nihilism and whether or not anything truly matters, including identity. 

Ashton represents the endless loneliness of abandonment and feeling like no matter what you do, those you love will never care about you as much as you care about them. He pushes people away and acts like he doesn’t have a care in the world while simultaneously doing everything he can to grip onto his friends. He is jealous of Laudna for the way she died because it showed how loved she was, and how sick is that? To be jealous of someone’s death? To try and force someone to admit that they haven’t gotten over their issues because you can’t accept that it’s possible to overcome yours? What's wrong with you? If it’s possible for people to do that, why can't you? What’s wrong with you? Why is it so hard for you when it seems so easy for others? What’s wrong with you? They represent not just the physical, but the emotional chronic pain that most people don’t have to think about every day. 

I have so much more to say about these amazing characters, but that would take an entire novel. They emotionally bleed all over the place. While they can still be lighthearted and humorous at times, they’re often really messy in various ways. But that doesn’t stop them from being so loving and wonderful at the same time! 

TL;DR, Taliesin’s characters are incredible and I’m so grateful that he is willing to play them in such a raw and real way for those of us that aren’t always funny or charming enough about our trauma to make society like us. 

[utilitycaster]

🔥 about each member of the mighty nein (instead of sending you a million separate asks lol)

Fjord - this is actually the only character from all of Critical Role where if someone does not like that character I am immediately done with anything they have to say. Ashton and Vex are my favorites from C3 and C1 respectively but I get not being particularly into what they're doing even if I disagree, but like, if you don't like Fjord you either have no understanding of the idea of characters being defined by their settings and narratives and vice versa and therefore you have no media analysis statements worth hearing; or you made a snap judgement based on like 20 minutes of campaign 2.

Beau - I wish the circlet had gone to Veth; I liked Beau's arc a lot but she started as one of my favorites and was later surpassed by a number of other characters and I think it was in part because I liked her getting things the hard way and also doing more with the Cobalt Soul and Dairon than she ultimately ended up doing.

Caleb - I think I kind of covered it with my post about his trauma recently, namely, I think he's a fantastic character and Liam did a great job and also whenever someone acts like Caleb is objectively correct at all times or should have murdered everyone in the assembly it's a MASSIVE red flag.

Veth - weirdly unpopular in this fandom but I like her more as a halfling. Also, I actually think arcane trickster was a phenomenal fit for Sam mechanically even though he wants more spells and would love to see him do another 1/3rd or half caster.

Jester - I feel I've covered my main one repeatedly (people LOVED to talk about her agency and the second she kissed the wrong person she was suddenly a stupid baby girl who didn't know what was good for her) so I think my other one is that as with all of Laura's characters she is much more fun, especially early on, if you lean into the fact that she does say a lot of shit that makes people really uncomfortable or annoyed instead of trying to turn this into a SHE LOVES SO HARD AND NO ONE LISTENS because both can be true, your love can come out in ways that people are very annoyed by, this is how cats feel all the time actually, and so much of Jester's arc is figuring out how to share this love in a way that other people can appreciate without losing her own personality in the process.

Caduceus - I've also covered this a zillion times but I will say it again, Caduceus deflected so many attempts to check in with him and he does not want to like, fix Molaesmyr, he was not neglected, he was built out to be a character who was more of a low-key support guy and Taliesin did an incredible job with that.

Molly - honestly my unpopular opinion remains that I simply found him very well built and a great concept and also irritating as hell, and the Nein's response to him was valid but the fandom's post-death lionization was very tiresome. I'm genuinely not sure the party could have bonded the way they ultimately did if someone who was throwing around "enthrall" like that were still around.

Kingsley - now, while I don't mind if you dislike Kingsley, acting like Kingsley and Molly are the same character is actually equal to the not liking Fjord thing; that's an instant "this person's interpretations of media are so bad I am blocking so as to not accidentally see anything they have to say."

Yasha - I'm not sure I have any unpopular opinions? I do think she is at times underappreciated but I also think specifically she is, like Caleb, a victim of the terrible and weirdly common fandom idea that the only way to move on from abuse and horror is by killing everyone and everything that hurt you rather than rejecting violence and finding your own path and your own meaning.

Essek - sticking specifically to his role in the Nein, again, I love Essek and he is a member of the party and also he is an NPC and acting deeply offended that he doesn't get the same treatment in terms of comic books or merch or appearances in one-shots is very childish.

[sinning5sos]

Having a baby with Ashton would include...

1/4 in the father-to-be series :

Ashton ~ would be a helicopter partner near the end of your pregnancy, making sure you had anything you wanted and everything you needed.

You stared down at your stomach, admiring yet feeling anxious at the protrusion. You were at the thirty-nine week mark, and there wasn’t much that you could do at this point. You already knew you were having a girl, your excitement could hardly be contained but that was nothing compared to your husband. 

You listened to him humming along in the other room, only pausing when a lyric popped into his head and rubbed your stomach mindlessly. 

When you had that first wave of nausea so long ago, then you peed on those sticks, Ashton had been so excited. He still was, sometimes to the point of too much excitement for you. But the two of you were happy to finally have a child together, a dream you’ve both shared for a few years now.

You sighed as you realized you had to pee, which meant that you had to get out of your comfy chair, a chair that Ashton had bought when you had hit the thirty week mark stating that, “My love and my love deserve the best.”

You heaved forward slightly, but barely moved and you huffed as you sank back into the chair. You tried once more, but fell back. This chair was too comfortable.

“Babe?” You called, and heard a pencil fall onto the desk and his chair scoot back instantly, and he nearly tripped over his feet as he came around the corner.

“Yes, what is it? Is it time?” He asked, kneeling at the foot of the chair and you giggled as you shook your head.

“You think that if I was going into labor, I’m just going to call for you?” You said, and he chuckled as he kissed the top of your stomach, “No, I just have to pee darling.”

“Ah,” He replied. He stood and held his hands out for you to take, and using your momentum and Ashtons help, you were finally able to get to your feet. You felt the baby shift slightly inside of you, a feeling you couldn’t tell if you enjoyed or not, and let out a deep breath. His eyes widened in concern, but he remained quiet.

“Pee time,” You mumbled, and Ashton helped you walk over into the bathroom. You shut the door behind you, smiling to yourself as you saw his feet cast a shadow underneath the door, “Ash, I can pee just fine.”

“I know, I just want to help you.”

“You’ve done more for me Ashton, than any other person in this world.”

Other pregnancy things from Ash would include - 

Countless foot massages and helping you lotion your feet/legs

Literally a n y t h i n g you wanted, you got it

Him spoiling the baby with lots of clothes and toys

VERY PROTECTIVE

To the point where it’s kinda annoying but also he’s a father to be and you love how dedicated he is

Lots of affirmation from him

He’d be doing lots of research on everything and anything baby related

Because he doesn’t want to be like his dad so he’s going to try his best in every single fucking thing possible

And he’d tell you every single day how thankful he is for you and how he’s so excited to do this with you

He’d try to convince you to do anal just once

But he’d also spoil you

[annemarieyeretzian]

i like how even though ashton was visibly annoyed at teven flirting with her, after he left and fearne talked about the pact they said "that's so fucking cool, i'm all about this, i love this for you!" he wants her happy, omg...

oh for sure!!! I even almost added 'and they're not being possessive and gross about it' '(they would never!!!)' 'they're just muttering things under their breath and trying to look like they find it all sooo funny' to my tags but I didn't want anyone to like. pick up on it and yell at me about a) 'how dare you even think ashton would be possessive and gross I can't believe you even felt the need to add that they weren't being that' or b) 'actually, here are ten thousand ways ashton WAS being possessive and gross and why they suck so much.'

but yeah. ashton is just fearne's biggest fan at all times and I love it.

[yanderemommabean]

(Idea💡! Yandere Prince x Male bodyguard Reader!)

Prince Ashton had always been a rather...odd boy.

As a child, he was quiet and kept to himself, preferring not to interact with others, especially other children stating he found such things to be annoying.

However, there was one that the prince seemed to like or at least tolerate and was his personal guard and only childhood friend, Y/n.

The two met when they were only 10 years old and seemed to immediately click with one another to the everyone's shock.

No one knew what exactly made the guard different than everyone else. Hell Ashton didn't even know himself. He just had a strange attraction towards you.

As you both got older, Ashton's view on you began to...change. He eyes began to look at you in a way that many would deem... Inappropriate.

It started when you both were 14.

Ashton was watching you spare with the other knights. His eyes stare intensely at your form. At some point, you notice Ashton watching in the sidelines. You smile and wave at him.

Ah, such a lovely smile~ what he wouldn't give to see it contort into a pleading face as he thrusts his cock into your- Ashton stops himself, slightly surprised by his own thoughts.

But he can't say he dislikes the idea of making you his lover.

That thought only grows more enticing as the years go on.

Whenever Ashton's alone his mind Will always wander back to you.

He imagines himself sitting on the throne with you sitting between his legs sucking his dick like a little good pet.

Or having you on your hands and knees moaning like a bitch in heat, while he fucks you from behind.

Or maybe he'll have you ride him while he watches as you fuck yourself on his cock.

All of these are fantasies he has about you daily.

You truly are the perfect pet for him~...So why are wagging your tail to others...

Ashton has seen how friendly you are with the other guards and it pisses him off like nothing else.

You are his guard and you obey his orders and his orders alone.

So when he sees you acting all buddy buddy with those low-life pests, Ashton is so tempted to just fuck you right then and there to remind you who exactly you belong to.

Perhaps, he needs to discipline you by tying you to his bed while forcing you to endure hours of arousal without any form of release.

Or maybe he should make you wear a collar with his name around your neck, so everyone will know just who's pet you are...

“Sir Ashton, this seems a bit much-” you protest, watching as the Prince simply presses further, forcing you to stay still. “You’re my guard, are you not?” he questions with a raised brow. You shrink back, like a scolded puppy, and look towards the ground as you answer softly under your breath. 

“Ah ah, couldn’t quite hear that. Speak up when addressing your Prince” he taunts, tilting your head up with the tips of his fingers. “Now, I’ll try this again. You’re my guard, yes? You’re to listen, obey, and submit without hesitation. Correct?”. 

“Sir please! This is too-” 

“Answer me, Y/N, or I might assume you’re neglecting your sworn duty”. 

You swallow down a retort, and resign with a defeated sigh. “Yes, sir, I am your sworn protector and…servant”. 

Ashton hums, pleased, patting your cheek affectionately “That’s right! Good boy. And good boys like you, will listen to my demands, no matter how it affects your life. If I say you are to live at the castle?” he questions, waiting for you to finish. 

“...I agree, no hesitation”. 

“Good. If I tell you to kill an enemy on sight?” 

“I...I do not stop until the deed is done” 

“Good, good. And so, if I want you to wear a collar with my name, what are you to do?” he asks while gesturing vaguely, awaiting your response. This whole act feels so odd, so wrong in a way you can’t quite pinpoint. Ashton’s always been a bit odd, but now it seems something more sinister is beneath those eyes that you once saw comfort in. You’re still pressed against the wall as the crazed prince begins to reach behind your neck with both hands, coming up to clasp the collar. 

You stifle an embarrassed whimper, and force out the answer he craves to hear. 

“If you ask of me to bear your name, I am to wear it proudly and without shame”. 

Ashton doesn’t move, face pressed so close to your neck he could steal a taste, savor the sweat forming on your skin as you try to keep your composure. How cute, his loyal pet not wanting to disappoint his master. Your face will falter soon enough, when he usurps the throne and has you all to himself. Chained to his chambers day after day, being his dutiful lover and allowing him to bask in your ethereal essence. 

“Yes. Exactly” he murmurs against your skin, tempted to sink his teeth in as a parting gift of the day. But the collar should suffice for now, others will know he’s claimed you and if they make any trouble for you he’ll kill the pigs himself. 

“You better get used to serving me more than you usually do. The King is not long for this world, and you and I have much to do once I take over”. Ashton doesn’t elaborate on that, pulling away and leaving you to sit in confusion as he begins to walk away. He pauses, turns to face you once again, and grins. 

“I also demand you move your sleep chambers to my room. How can I be protected at night if no guard is there with me? I’ll see to it that your room is given to someone else, mine is much more comfortable anyway”. 

(I hope you liked it bean! -Mommabean)

[saucymalum]

You said you wanted requests so here I go (you don’t have to write it) can you write an enemies to lover with Ashton (because that’s the best trope for him) where he finally makes y/n cry. And he goes to apologize and admits his feelings…..k bye 💖

What's This? (Consequences of my Actions) A.I

Ashton Irwin x Gn!reader (they/them pronouns)

Word Count: 2.6k

I am so goddamn sorry this took almost a YEAR. I finally made it tho!

I always knew he hated me. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t like that I was “Invading” his friend group. That I was getting along with them. He didn’t like me. It infuriated me how he acted like he was better than me. All I wanted was to be his friend and he didn't give me a chance. I couldn't understand how he could hate me for no reason. So I gave him a reason.

 I tried to annoy him every time I could. He didn’t want me at a party so badly he would text me to not come and I’d arrive early with baked goods. He didn’t like me tweeting about his band so much that he’d intentionally be the only member not following me? I tagged them all in every tweet. I became his hell. Did I hate him? No. But I hated that he treated me like he was better. Like I was insignificant. 

To the fans, I was their biggest fan. I’d cover their newest songs on my Instagram story and take pictures in their merch. Some thought I was even dating one of them, which was almost laughable. I truly loved them all. The party's welcoming environment they created pulled me in as Ashton stood in the corner. His hazel eyes look almost black in this light as he watches my every move. Watching me talk to everybody while he tries to keep up the small talk and savors his lemonade. His eyes left a burning trail down my skin. It became a game for me, how far I could push him.

I’d try to ask him questions in conversations, simply because I knew he didn’t want to talk to me. And that's when my plans started to crumble. I liked the guy. I thought he was fucking funny. Being antagonizing was so much easier when I didn’t know him. I wanted to be the asshole's friend. I kept trying to keep up my game, but I failed every time unless it was social media. It’s easy to fake things there. So I did.

I ignored my emotions, my guilt, and the rising feeling that I refused to acknowledge. I posted pictures of myself at their concerts; I posted their songs on my story. I was a good friend, but I avoided Ashton. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter much to him if I showed up to the parties. I saw the glares he’d given me that made me want to laugh in his face. I missed not knowing him.

I started showing up early at parties and sneaking out early. I’d avoid Ash even if I felt his eyes burn me. It seemed fine until he caught on. 

I sat at their album release celebration, an hour in, and I zoned out and stared at a wall. People passed by and I sat drinking my now warm beverage. Blurs of people, laughing, smiling, dancing, pass around me. I can't believe I did this to myself. 

The seat beside me dips and I look to see Luke looking expectantly at me. One eyebrow raised slightly and his blonde hair growing out from the bleach.

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I laugh nervously.

He sits there, giving no answer, knowing i’ll break. And I do. 

I spilled everything, beginning to now. Frustration pours out every word as the temperature in the room seems to rise. I don't want to be here anymore.

Luke sighs and I feel shame replace my relief.

"Why would you do this to yourself Y/N?"

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANTED THE STUPID LITTLE PRICK TO BE HUMBLED. Or at least annoyed enough to stop being a dick." my breaths shake for a second "In no universe was THIS my plan. "

I fall into the back of the couch. "What do I do?" 

"Talk to him."

I groan, "I forgot you're a 'communication is key' person" 

Luke lightly shoves me, "So are you until you get scared and run away. You can't run away this time. Avoiding him means avoiding us and you know that." 

“I know.” 

“So what do you think you need to do?” He asks softly.

I take in a deep breath and straighten my back. My eyes find Ashton chatting up so girl in the corner. I let my feet guide me to him and without a word, too scared to speak, I grab his jacket and pull him out onto the back porch.

“What the Fuck, Y/N?”

“What is your problem with me? You refuse to talk to me, You hate my presence, and you constantly make an effort to show me you think im less than you. Why?”

“Maybe because you do shit like you just did without thinking about how it’d affect me.”

I scoff, “What a cop-out. You’ve hated me from the beginning. I want you to tell me why.”

He creeps further into my personal space. His height becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he looms over me. His breath fans over my face, and I want to cringe at the warmth.

“Has it ever occurred to you in your self-centered little head that not everyone likes you? You’re not some god or goddess Y/n. You grate my veins and you enjoy it. You TRIED to annoy me and you’re confused why I don’t like you? How into yourself can you be?”

Electricity pricks at my skin and the back of my eyes burn, “Don’t act like you didn’t hate me from the get-go Ashton. I know what it feels like to be disliked.”

“Then why does it bother you so much if i don’t like you? Huh? Sweet little Y/N just wants to be loved and cherished by everyone, isn't that right?” My breath shakes as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. “Well, life doesn’t work like that. Some people will hate your grating voice and some people can't STAND your GODDAWFUL laugh. So get over it and be a fucking adult about it. Stop being a little baby.” 

WARNING: description of a panic attack, stay safe and skip to the end of the trigger warning <3

He steps back and I quickly escape the cold night that suffocates me. My throat closes in on itself and my eyes water.  I can’t breathe, I can’t BREATHE. I try to drag in breaths, but the effort is beyond fruitless. Through my watery eyes and past the blur and dizziness, I walk to the bathroom. I need to escape. I need to GET OUT. Everyone hates me, such a stupid baby who can’t even handle a man not liking them. How pathetic can you get? Everyone's eyes are on me. They’re laughing at me, aren’t they? I bet they are. The bathroom door’s soft close sounds like a thunderclap in my ears but that thunderclap is the most comfort I have felt since Luke and my conversation ended. My ears are ringing. I don’t know what to do. 

I sink to the floor, and my back hits the cold tile, shocking my skin through my thin shirt.I've prepared for this. Ok, just find something you can smell. Ok, I can that. My mind wanders into my negative talk but quickly it snaps to the smell of the Febreze air freshener going off. 

Good, good. One down four more to go, I can see the design in the ceiling, that's another. 

My lungs slowly feel less pressure on them, not a semi-truck but maybe a minivan. I can hear yelling outside the door, maybe someone knocking, it's so hard to hear when I feel like I'm underwater. 

I can feel the tile under my fingertips, the cold feels nice against my skin, the hot trails the tears leave sting and I almost want to press my face into the floor to cool them. 

The sweet drink still lingers on my tongue. Good, I got all five. Now breathe. It's so hard when the hiccups interrupt but I practice these exercises every day. 

The weight on my chest slowly releases and the tears go dry. I'm left exhausted.  I want to go home. The room goes steady and I slowly stand on shaky legs.

I avoid the mirror as I cool my hands in the water flowing in the sink and press them to my cheeks.

WARNING OVER: Stay safe, loves.

The yelling outside gets clearer when I open the door, the house has been cleared away of any guests and the pounding of my heart gets a bit louder. Luke stands in front of Ashton yelling at him, words I barely have the energy to decipher. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you right now, Ashton? You are a grown-ass man. What the hell would possess you to think talking to someone like that was ok?” Luke stands next to Sierra. She shoots a disappointed look at Ashton, but he ducks away. 

“Oh don’t give me the disappointed parent act.” He scoffs.

Ashton walks over to the couch, closer to me, and I press my back closer to the bathroom door that I closed.

Luke chases after him, “Well, if you didn’t act so immature, maybe I wouldn’t have to Ash! What were you thinking!? You barely know her and you already decided to chase her away?”

“If she didn’t want me to hate her maybe she could have tried to not do everything I hate on purpose.”

“You gave them a panic attack! Nothing they did made them deserve that. We just want you to explain. Can you please just let us understand?”

Ashton pauses putting on his jacket and sighs, “I’m scared, ok?” 

“Of what?” 

“Luke, they remind me of Lacy, and I can’t get hurt like that again.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine. Shock and remorse fill his eyes, but he brushes past me and bolts for the door.

I take a shaky breath in and look at Luke and Sierra. “Luke who’s Lacy?”

We sat in the living room of Luke and Sierra’s house as they tried to explain it in the most delicate way. But really, how can you explain to someone that they reminded a person they considered an enemy of their dead girlfriend? That they reminded someone they thought hated them of someone they were in love with? I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was wrong. I reminded Ashton of a love that was ripped away from him. I hurt him by being around him.

I wanted to be mad at him. Hurt him for punishing me for something I had no part in but I couldn't. 

I just wanted to go home and never leave.

And that's what I did. I stayed in bed, emotionally exhausted and numb. My self-destruction hit me like a brick, canceling my therapy appointment for the next day and turning my phone to do not disturb.

Ashton’s POV:

No one had heard from Y/N in almost a week. Seeing their face when I left made me feel like I swallowed a brick. A part of me felt glad that finally, FINALLY, they would feel just a sliver of what they've made me feel for months.

But the guilt…the guilt at that thought overwhelmed my brain quickly after. What kind of person would that make me to want someone to hurt the way I have? Even if it was someone who hurt that doesn't make it ok. 

This guilt led me straight to Y/N's front door. My hand hovered over the door. What was my plan when I got here? I don't think I even gave myself time to make one. 

Before I could attempt to knock on the door, it swung open with the image of Y/N's dark-circled eyes staring shocked at me. 

"Oh Jesus!" they exclaim and hide behind the door a bit. The wrinkles in the pajama shirt clinging to parts of their body. A small smile creeps into the corner of my mouth at seeing them again. To see that they were at least still alive and kicking.

"I'm so sorry to just show up like this!" I step away from the door, giving them some space. "I want to check in."

Their bottom lip moves between their teeth as they chew at the loose skin. A mental debate wars on behind their eyes, no doubt wondering who asked me to come here.

"Who blackmailed you?" they ask.

A hesitant silence floats between us as I wonder if it'd be wrong to tell the truth.

A sigh passes my lips. "I felt bad."

Their eyes quickly widen again as they forget the effort to hide themself behind the door. They rush the 2 feet to me and place a hand on my arm.

"No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for! I was a goddamn asshole, Ashton! Why didn't you slap me earlier? I was so arrogant and antagonistic towards you. I can't believe it. You did nothing but try to avoid me because you were hurting and I made it ten times harder."

"Y/N, I said horrible things to you. I felt like a villain. I never want to feel like that again. I am so sorry for talking to you like that." My shoulders sink in a subconscious effort to get down to their level. To look them straight in the eyes. To maybe show them all the emotions that I felt the moment I left Luke's house."

Y/N sighs and releases my arm from their grip. They step out of the doorway, a silent invitation. Luckily, I'm not a vampire.

"Ash, what you said was true. I can't fault you for saying the truth."

How could they think that? That anything I said was true, calling them such stupid names in order to belittle them and make them feel small? What have I done?

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said to you was true. Yes, I was hurt and yes how you treated me didn’t help but none of it was true and keep telling you otherwise until you believe.”

They look away from my eyes to the ground. “Well, that's gonna take a while since I thought all of those things about myself long before you told me.” 

A sour feeling rises in my stomach. Everything in me wants to protect them.

“Well, I’ll be here every time you doubt me.”

They scoff, “Like you’ll call me at 3 in the morning.”

“Who says I won’t” I shrug.

Their eyes glaze over with tears as they look hopefully into mine, “This isn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. I didn’t want us to hate each other.”

They turn away from me, busying themselves in front of their kettle. “I wanted to stop that stupid game months ago.” 

My eyebrows wrinkle quizzically, “Then why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t admit to myself I had feelings for you.”

Their shoulders tense quickly and the spin around to me, “Not that I’m pressuring you at all, I swear. I just-I just had to let you know I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”

“But you did mean to hurt me?”

“I thought you saw me as less than you. I wanted to prove you wrong. Now I know I was the one in the wrong.”

“Y/N I thought you were amazing. I was stupid and thought if I avoided you I wouldn’t fall for you.” I step forward into their space, “I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Did you?” 

The space between our bodies shrinks til we’re breathing the same air.

“Yes,” I whisper, my hand gravitating to their hip.

“And can you handle it?” 

“With you, I think I’ll be more than fine.”

[ratgingi]

lets GOOOOO juniper's lad squad / band members finally have refs

some of you may recognize the second and third ones, thats bc theyre old fav ocs of mine that i bestowed the highest honor (made into dt chars) these guys and juniper tend to get in a lot of trouble together and also the four of them may or may not be active spreaders of vampire rumors ive decided. tormenting those old men

in order from left to right:

kipper | nonbinary, he/they + aroace - bubbly sunshine guy who was adopted by a bunch of edgelords - he loves fashion and gardening (can you guess his fav thing to grow lmao) - theyre actually the protector of the group, as hes the most confident and courageous in the face of danger. also keeps rocks + bandaids in that bag hes holding so he can play healing or defense depending on the situation - he and ashton are qpps - originally had a normal rotary phone for a head, but they got a cute little strawberry flipphone and then had their head modeled after it bc he loved it so much (the white dots are rhinestones !) - technically lives with his parents still, but they travel a lot for work and are rarely ever in town so he basically lives in a house on his own that they pay for - plays an electronic keyboard

ashton | agender, he/it + ace and demiro - antisocial and mean and cranky - hes selectively mute and if he does speak its usually to inform someone hes leaving on account of them being boring or annoying - its pretty athletic and can do a few different tricks like backflips and stuff - he has a major interest in bugs, especially arachnids, and actually keeps live spiders and scorpions in his head. which is unfortunate considering the Massive Hole. he has a favorite scorpion and her name is glass - it's junipers next door neighbor in the apartments, its parents kicked it out around the same time juniper was showing up in town and a friend of the family it was on good terms with helped it back on its feet - hes not very expressive physically or emotionally unless hes angry - has a huge blindspot on the half of his face with the hole and if you come at him from that side and get hit bc you spooked him he considers it your fault - plays the drums

almagest | trans, he/him + gay - goes by alma for short - stereotypical gamer boy who lounges around a lot and eats almost exclusively junkfood - despite having a keyboard for a head he does not like it when hes called a catboy. he prefers to be called a ratboy as rats are his favorite animal he just wanted the rainbow gaming keyboard for gamer gender swag - he has pretty poor eyesight and bumps into things a lot, and is partially why kipper always has bandaids on hand - technically lives in an apartment with his dad, who kinda sucks, so he spends a majority of his life either with the friend group or crashing at the place of his old babysitter Amora (he stays there so much he has his own room at her place) - technically knows how to make games himself and has made small demos of things for fun, but struggles to keep motivation up too much to fully develop anything - plays guitar (juniper is usually lead, hes usually rhythm)

[captainofthetidesbreath]

i might be mistaken and so sorry if i am but i’m pretty sure you made a post about the “annoying selfish punk” tendencies that ashton has and was wondering if you could go a little bit more into what you mean by it? i love ashton so much but punk subculture is something i have no experience with and the premise of that post was really interesting

I did write that post! My thoughts on that are largely informed by the fact that my sister and her partner and many of her friends are in The Scene. I am not part of the subculture, but I am adjacent to it in a way where I know a lot of punks.

The short of what I meant there—and the long version is long—is that punk subculture has a lot going for it and has many philosophical virtues and ideals. However, the (for lack of a better word) energy of the subculture does have a tendency to attract many people for the wrong reasons who do otherwise uphold those values, just as it does in many other subcultures and groups, especially those subcultures built around improving social conditions or in response to suffocating conditions like punk is.

To be clear, before I launch into the whole thing: I do not think that all of this applies to Ashton. I'm just unpacking my experiences in the kinds of punks who are very self-centered in frustrating ways. It's a type that Ashton overlaps with and has SOME things in common with, enough to make them also very frustrating in a well-developed way, but not all of this applies to them.

A number of people in the scene are attracted to it because they simply want to defer responsibility for dissatisfaction in their lives or because they are trying to validate this feeling that they've been kept from something by someone else. Notice that these feelings are very similar to what Ashton expresses drove them to make the decision to take the shard: wanting someone else to blame, wanting to feel robbed. The subculture attracts people who center themselves and their personal grievances in this way alongside people who genuinely center the community-oriented ideals of punk. They're punk because they're trying to settle a score more than they're interested in improving things for everyone, uplifting community, etc.

Like any space that champions the virtues of community-centered values and fighting against structural oppression, punk also attracts some who value Being Seen doing something virtuous much more than they value ensuring that meaningful, important, constructive work is done. Being more invested in being Seen fighting The Man to the point that you resent less visible and rewarding but important solidarity and support work is selfish and self-centered. This attitude is not limited to punks, not at all, but punk has its folks who are there just to be self-righteous and holier-than-thou. There's a decent number of punks one very much feels compelled to remind that this should be out of love for people and community, not out of love for the fight, because many are drawn to punk in search of an excuse to be combative and break things and start fights (as opposed to doing that to defend and advance against oppression).

It has its share of people too who engage in the scene because they want to feel superior to Normies. So, they go to punk shows and listen to punk music and do it all because they're pretentious and want to feel superior.

The genuine ideals of punk about hope and community and joy and uplifting one another and raging against the structural oppression of the world are very real, even if they take forms often more varied, difficult, messy, and polarizing across history than many on Tumblr and Twitter care to admit. But, at least from my experience from my proximity to people in the scene, it also attracts people who want to be seen as Important, or want to feel like someone else kept them from being Special, or want to be validated in their self-righteousness. Some will claim that these kinds of people are not ACTUALLY punk, but No True Scotsman is a fallacy for punks too since these are very much people who like punk music, engage in the scene, and even participate in community action and upholding of other punk values—but they are doing so for self-centered, selfish, self-aggrandizing, self-flattering reasons. And they are frustrating and insufferable people.

I wrote that post after 3.74: "Roots Between Worlds", but we can see that a lot of the same sentiments I've said here are echoed in Ashton's assessment of their own behavior in 3.78: "Fractured", and all those things he said is exactly why I said what I said how there are some punks who are frustratingly self-centered.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Unladylike Rules of Attraction by Amita Murray

4/5. Releases 5/14/24.

Vibes: "must marry or else", vaaaaague guardian/ward sorta kinda?, two people living on the edge of English society, light mystery

Heat Index: 6/10

Court sitar player Anya doesn't expect to inherit much, if anything, when her client dies. But the Dowager Countess Budleigh has left Anya half her fortune--with one condition. She must marry by her twenty-fifth birthday... which is four months away. Otherwise? The money will go to Lord Damian Ashton, the family outsider and now trustee. (Oh--and they think he killed his way to the title.) As Anya begins looking for a husband, Damian is there, initially to irritate and then, when she's accused of murder by the Budleighs, to help. The question is--if they make it out of this, can he bear to see her with someone else?

The second in Amita Murray's Marleigh Sisters series, I found Unladylike Rules of Attraction faster-paced and more exciting than the first installment, which is always lovely. The chemistry between Anya and Damian had me immediately--and though the relationship unfurled a bit more rapidly than I expected, their back and forth remained a treat. As did the very true reality of them both living on the edges of English society, seen as oddities or fetishized due to their races (Anya had a white father and an Indian mother, and Damian's grandmother was a Jamaican Black woman).

So while I do have nitpicks here and there, I have to say that this was an engaging romp with serious insights.

Quick Takes:

--If you enjoy romantic leads that snark, you'll be into this. Damian and Anya are kind of at each other's throats from the jump, but in, like, a fun way. They both find each other annoying, mostly because they want to bone, and I support that. I also really love the marriage plot setup: she's supposed to marry, or he gets everything, so maybe the best thing would be for them to marry each other...? But NO, God NO, that would be AWFUL.

Damian also has a lovely younger brother who enters the scene as a supporting character. He initially thinks that his brother is making a play for Anya, and the "I am quietly seething from across a ballroom" content was great.

--But, as I mentioned earlier, there's a lot of quiet understanding these two have for each other. Anya is seen as an exotic marvel at Queen Charlotte's court... to an extent. There isn't much actual real respect there, because women hate her (and let's be real, are often jealous of her) for who she is and men want to fuck her without offering any legitimacy or respect.

Although Damian didn't have an identical experience to Anya, he's also very much an outsider. I mean, people just assume this guy murdered someone to get a title... basically, let's be real, because he's of Jamaican descent. The novel is covering, basically, a lot of nasty, racist shit. However, it maintains an optimistic, if realistic attitude, and understanding reality doesn't mean that Murray is going to keep her leads from falling in love. It's a tough balancing act, and I think she executed it well.

--That said, these two do move pretty fast. And I'm not someone who loves a slow burn, right? I enjoy reading sex on the page early. It's not that the sex happens so EARLY in this book. It's more that I don't think there was quite enough build up between Damian and Anya. The chemistry was there, but when it began I was pretty surprised.

It's not a huge issue, but if I had to give a critique, that would be my main one.

--One thing I really appreciated was the way Murray dealt with Anya's trauma surrounding her separation from her sisters. She knows where they are, she loves them--but she can't really bring herself to be close to them because of this chasm of years apart. She wants to be! She feels guilty! But that doesn't make her reluctance built on years of separation go away.

--The mystery and murder stuff here is pretty light; there's nothing that's too much to bear here. But I found it entertaining, and I can be a hard sell with mystery, so that's a good sign.

The Sex:

This is an open door romance. It's not super explicit, it's not over the top. There are a few scenes, nothing super wild, and I do think Murray could go into a bit more detail with it. But as it is: if you enjoy a Lorraine Heath level of heat (and I do too, I could always appreciate more though), you'll enjoy these.

Moving along at a clip, Unladylike Rules of Attraction is both romantic and astute. I see it being compared to Bridgerton, and while I get that on paper... First off, this is a lot smarter in general than that show. Second, it's certainly more attentive to the issues of race. If you want something fun and different and very much its own thing, check this out.

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[pstelwitchcraft]

Real tired of people judging C3 so harshly. I get it, we ALL loved the nein, but at this point people are expecting something that not even M9 was able to give. There's nothing wrong with the pacing, there's nothing wrong with the characters, it took uns SEVENTY episodes to get to Rosohna and we're getting forgotten gods and moon city 30 episodes into C3 but somehow people are still acting as if nothing's happening and it's boring. The first time they fought Ira's furniture was episode ONE and the ball's been rolling for Ruidus lore since then. It's been building up beautifully for 31 episodes and all ya'll can do is complain.

I can't even imagine going through the trouble they went through, Marisha building the set, Matt creating this cool ass story, and then seeing them absolutely SHINE on that table every thursday only to have people complaining about everything from the background music to the opening to the party name.

I mean, Ashley is having the time of her damn life and she's so damn funny as Fearne, Travis is just been a giddy, happy bitch as well, constantly giggling at his own funny shit, I personally don't even think I've seen the both of them have this much FUN. And then we have Marisha KILLING IT as Laudna, who is just a gold mine of a character, Orym, the most flavorful little halfling battle master who I love so much, Imogen, who I can't WAIT to see go absolutely bananas insane bc we all know it's coming, Ashton having the craziest, most chaotic class of barbarian I've ever seen in my life and FCG... i won't even say anything for fear of spoiling the story.

This is such a cool campaign with a million overlapping cool concepts, but so many people are so hung up in somehow wanting exactly what they got for C2, they won't even give it a shot. People have been complaining on chat since ep.1 and MAJORLY overestimating the pacing for the M9, who also had a BUNCH of useless episodes and quests (bc they're fun!). I'm absolutely not saying people aren't allowed to complain or comment anything negative but the sheer amount of stuff I've read about the Hells is just annoying at this point and I can't understand why keep watching if you don't like it.

[c-is-for-circinate]

a penny for your Ashton thoughts?

ASHTON GREYMORE MY BELOVED

Fair warning, I am once again half an episode behind, plus I'm pretty scattered today, but let's have some bullet points and see what ensues.

Anybody remember when, a couple of months ago, some posts went around about how 'everyone says Ashton's So Loyal but that's bullshit and people letting their affection for Taliesin overrule their objectivity'? No? Well I do and I AM STILL SMUG ABOUT THEM BEING WRONG.

Seriously, this rock is the walking personification of "I don't care," I said, caringly, as I cared deeply. We all know this by now, I think. I love it with my whole heart.

Something fascinating to me about Ashton in comparison with Taliesin's other characters: they are, every one of them, Extremely Sure they know how the world (or their specific part of it, at least) works. Part of what's great about that is how often the things they're Sure Of disagree -- Percy, Molly, and Caduceus in a room together and asked to debate human nature would be a wild show to watch from the other side of a bulletproof one-way mirror, safe behind blast doors. And so far Ashton is in their own way perhaps the least obviously Absolutely Sure out of all of them, which is really interesting in its own way! It means when I think about Ashton, I always find myself pondering: what ARE they Sure of?

I think we saw our biggest hint about that with his rage during the Hytroga heist. There are rules. You keep your word. If you create an agreement, you keep it. Breaking an agreement like that is WRONG, fundamentally, core-of-how-the-world-works wrong, and people who do that should Pay For It.

The other half of Ashton's worldview seems to be something along the line of 'people are assholes' -- put together, "People are assholes, but there are rules." Certainly 'people are assholes' is probably the part he'd say out loud! Which makes it really interesting that, by the standards of a Taliesin Character, Ashton is practically halfhearted about this one. They certainly don't believe that people never act for reasons of loyalty and love. I think about Ashton in comparison to Percy or Molly, in particular -- Percy and Molly, who were quite sure that the universe contained Decent People and Terrible People, and that they could quite readily tell the difference. (Percy might have had ranks for 'tolerable people', a category that could theoretically be applied to either Decent or Terrible people, but it was all very much something appropriately categorized.) Ashton doesn't go around the world expecting to find Terrible People the way they did. He goes around expecting to find assholes, which is a statement of general dickishness but also not, like, a thing to get morally offended over or be surprised about. Even the kind of prissy rich people that Molly would have loathed (lord, Molly meeting Jiana Hexum?) fall comfortably onto Ashton's scale of 'yeah, they're an asshole, that's whatever -- no, OBVIOUSLY you can't trust them, but who trusts people?' There are very, very few individuals who seem to rate Ashton's 'no, this person is so awful they have forfeited their right to be treated with decency and rules' classification. Thinking about how he flipped out about Hytroga, it almost feels like it's a surprise to him. Like Ashton goes around pseudo-cheerfully expecting a certain baseline of shittiness in the general tone of 'why would I be SURPRISED by that?', and when someone fails to live up to even those (complicated, only-known-to-him) standards, it hits right in the gut.

There's an interesting tie-in here with how Ashton thinks people thinks of him, specifically. Ashton thinks of themself as 'that asshole, who people may at any given time be annoyed with/furious at/relatively meh about'. And like, that's...sort of true? They have a really low charisma score! Various NPCs have indeed come pre-annoyed with him! But Justi was reasonably pleased to see him, and Milo saved their damn life and then let them keep living in their punk squat house, and the Bells Hells love him. I think that might be part of why 'people are assholes' is such a complicated thing, for Ashton. Yeah, people are dicks -- but it's not like they're going to just ignore the fact that friendship and love and loyalty exist too. That sometimes people are inexplicably fond of them in ways they can use. (and meanwhile, Ashton has been so, so lonely, Ashton who was almost fond of Jiana Hexum for being a person he could rely on who considered him Of Use, Ashton who's all in on Bells Hells as a crew and FCG in particular, who lets Laudna goo-cry on their shoulder and plays with Fearne and is Kind Of A Dick (affectionate) with them all. Ashton who was so ready to be valued and has gone all in on it immediately.)

...oh motherfucker, if Chetney is Travis's version of Nott, then Ashton is Taliesin playing Beau.

That aside, it's been great to see them in Basuras for multiple reasons, including the fact that it really beautifully illustrates exactly how and why "People are assholes, but there are rules" might become a life philosophy. In a lot of ways, that's the core motto of this entire town! People are assholes, everywhere, always, and nobody ever really stops them -- but there are a few central fundamental tenets to how things work around here, and if you break them you are in for a WORLD of hurt.

Honestly, it has been such a joy to watch Ashton in Basuras. They're in their element and it's wonderful! They know the town, the players, the rules, the games, the local legends. How many years has it been since Ashton's been here? And Justi and the All-Minds-Burn collective still remembers them fondly? It may be a shithole, but this is home.

Lastly, I have had SO much joy watching Ashton take FCG's whole "oh, Ashton is our leader!" to heart. He's never made a big deal out of it, never given orders exactly, but in a leaderless collective of fuckwits all trying to Twitch Plays Pokemon their way through life, Ashton has been guiding discussions, proposing plans, and doing a really unexpectedly excellent job of nudging disordered chaos into action. Part of it's because this is home turf and Ashton knows what's what here, but -- every time they tell Chetney to keep an eye out for if the group's being followed and Chetney immediately goes with it, every time Ashton checks in with the group to see whether certain people are okay -- it's so good! I love it so much! It doesn't work during fights exactly, because barbarian rage tunnel vision (contrast Fjord, who did similar nudging and guiding things but was also very much a battlefield controller with a good big-picture view of the whole field most of the time, especially by the end), but on a general day-to-day basis...at least in Basuras, Ashton is actually acting as the group leader, and I love it so much.

At any rate, the tumblr grapevine suggests that the second half of this week's episode is going to involve Dusk getting revealed as Secret Inside Assassin PC, and I am stoked to see how Ashton reacts to that. Ugh. Do I need to just bite the Twitch Subscription bullet for weekend VODs, given that this state of bed-at-mid-break affairs is likely to continue for...literally evermore, with this new job? I think I do. I really think I do.