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#asking for help with things I cant do is one thing like I may be a little stubborn but im tryin to be good about that
astonmartinii · 17 hours
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F1 ASKS!
i saw this tag floating around and wanted to let yall get to know me better since i’ve been doing this a while and have only really spoken in the form of authors notes! also im not going to tag anyone so just do it if you wanna!
who is your favourite driver?
i think for anyone who has read anything i’ve ever written it’s probably a bit obvious but max verstappen! what can i say little me was told we’re supporting red bull and here was this little charmer (emphasis on little who let that child get into an F1 car)
do you have other favourite drivers?
also based on my writing you can probably tell that my top three are max, charles and oscar! however, i will also say that alex is a close fourth for me (he’s also very nice irl). also as for retired drivers i think the mamma mia series is a bit of a spoiler but i love jenson, seb and kimi
who is your least favourite driver?
i used to say i didn’t dislike anyone on the grid - that was a lie. i’ll still write for anyone within reason but you can also probably tell with how in detail the back and forth is on certain pieces that i am really not a fan of sainz, actually people who get yelled at while i write them would argue it’s more than “not really being a fan of” but i am fake and i have maintained that if i meet him at silverstone (which i very nearly did last year) ill tell him im his biggest fan! also not the biggest fan of like pierre he’s just kinda there for me and a wee bit too cringey ALSO what you may not be able to guess from how i write him… im not really a fan of lando! ive really, really tried especially after his win but he just kinda rubs me the wrong way (i was immediately proven right with the trump comments lol). people say i should pull for him cause he’s from bristol which is where i live but he’s from glastonbury babe - also ive done a few swimming competitions at the school he went to a WOAH baby has so much money.
do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?
i mostly pull for drivers but like i guess i like red bull? well i did. i love max so i would follow him everywhere but i did like red bull as well as a team (i like alex, danny and checo so that also helps) but this whole protection of christian horner shtick is really disappointing so id say im a driver person.
if you like teams, who do you pull for?
like i said red bull were the team id pick if i HAD to follow a team - i support chelsea so i cant handle even more disappointment if i followed ferrari and also i only like charles there and they’re the source of all of his misfortune so …
how long have you been into F1?
so my family has always been into F1, my cousin karts and my uncle is a mechanic and makes karts on the side but i had always been more into football cause i could actually go to that with my dad - and also for young me who didn’t know what the fuck a strategy was it seemed kinda boring. but i’d say from maybe 2016ish i started watching it more regularly (hence the max stanship). my mum loves it and her first love in the sport was mark webber which is why we like red bull. but yeah i remember watching max’s first win and was like MUM I WANT THAT ONE (and i have technically met him? idk we made eye contact when his taxi nearly ran over my foot)
what got you into F1?
my mum! i love her and she’s just as much a passionate fan (and hater when appropriate) so it’s a nice thing to do together - especially because me and my dad are season ticket holders at chelsea so spend a lot of time together doing that so this is like my sport time with my mum (along with the olympics that’s our shit we’re very excited for the swimming). so i guess it was being around her watching it and listening to her and my dad argue about it! my mum is an ardent seb supporter and my dad is like a twitter account away from being in teamLH so canada 2018 (2019?) was VERY entertaining. also my uncle loves it so he likes that im proper into it (like have a sports journalism degree) and so we always chat about it - he’s trying to recruit me into motogp next
do you enjoy fanfic/RPF?
i mean i’ve written so much i must love it. lol jokes i do enjoy it and i feel like it helps me like people more (case in point: when i was trying to make myself enjoy the lando win i just read my own fics of him LOL)
but also its something fun to do that’s also creative and has helped me make new friends from all over
how do you view new fans?
ugh i hate the hate new fans get like not everyone can be born into loving a sport? if anything the more people that watch and love the sport the more money it’ll make? idk this whole superiority complex some fans have is just so unneeded for the sport and we all know why is majorly directed at girls. i do fear that some of the new fan behaviours could border on worrying - waiting outside hotels and ambushing drivers is stalking actually!
but overall im always happy to have new people in a sport - a bigger community is always good and new fans bring new perspectives which is good as older fans may just be desensitised to “normal” things in the sport but new eyes can remind them - hey halos are the best thing to happen to F1 and red flags in heavy rain are necessary.
if you could take over as any team principal for any team who would it be and why?
i know i previously dunked on ferrari but there needs to be an intervention because my girly max already has three championships and i need charles to get at least one so i can die happy - then ill move to mclaren, kick zak brown up the ass get a piastri championship and bounce (honourary race with willams or whatever team alex is with cause i need all three 2019 rookies to be race winners)
are your friends and family into F1 as well?
i feel like my other answers answered this but yeah! i also recently reconnected with an old primary school friend who is also really into it. i went to a sports uni so basically everyone there liked it as well (which means me and a friend did trek to the F1 arcade at 4am to watch aus 23 where she had a public meltdown over sainz (i enjoyed it)). also ive made a couple friends through working at races!
are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?
i always am! i am a year out of uni and working from home with all my home friends still at uni after taking gap years so i am big time lonely so always feel free to slide into my messages!
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i-cant-sing · 1 day
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Me (an atheist) : Damn how am i gonna explain this one now
see i dont think i could ever be an atheist because I rely very HEAVILY on God to do miracles to solve my problems. Like I cant count the amount of times I've been pulled out of trouble when I had ZERO hope or chances of coming out alive, and then just a quick prayer to God/Allah and Im all set :)
Like this is not me trying to convince anyone to be religous or something, but like i dont think i could possibly function without God because i just need HIS HELP every single day.
Im sure if most of you sat down and recalled moments in your life where things just seemed to fall in line out of nowhere, when deep down you knew that this was more than just a random coincidence, that one problem you just couldnt find any solution to, and then BAM! Its done. Your issue is solved. Youre out of trouble. Your secret is safe.
Personally, I think that having a relationship with God is important for your mental health. Like Allah doesnt need me to praise him, thank him and stuff. I need to thank him for all the He blesses me with, because well- if I'm more grateful, wouldn't I be more blessed? Wouldnt He give me more?
Ofc its not like God hates those who arent grateful to Him, or that he takes away His blessings from people who dont thank him. There have been times that I hadnt been praying to Allah, hadnt been a good muslim, but... Allah didnt take away His blessings. He didnt punish me, He didnt even lessen His gifts. And yet, deep down, despite having everything in my life, I still felt... abnormal. Anxious. Depressed even. Maybe I felt so restless because I didnt have Allah with me. Which is weird, because why dont I have God with me? Isnt God supposed to love all his creations, his beings?
And thats when it hits you- Allah has always been there. He's still in the same spot, waiting for you- for me, to return to Him. It is me, you, the human who gets lost in worldly pleasures and moves away from God. And you know, Allah guides who He wills, so maybe thats why some of us feel restless even though we have everything. Sometimes Allah sends some trials our way, just to remind us of Him, to make us call Him for help, to run and return to Him. Sometimes Allah sends more blessings our way, so that we become more thankful, return to Him and ask for more- as is human nature.
And some of you may ask, as i did, "so if Allah only guides who He wills- if Allah has already planned everything, if He already knows everything, then why should I make an effort to do better? Maybe He made me this way? Maybe I was meant to not be guided?" and I think the answer to this is that the very fact that you're reading this post, the fact that you have such a dilemma about your relationship with God, the fact that you question your current belief system, maybe its Allah's sign for you.
I think that to do something, anything, we must first desire for it to happen. So... if you and I have this question about our relationship with God, and then develop a desire to improve this relationship, then maybe it is God's will to guide us.
Nothing happens without His will, so this post reaching your dashboard, you reading this despite knowing by the first two paragraphs that this is not a fic, this was Allah's will, hm?
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psfortune · 2 days
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Not over yet - (2)
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pairing: stalkerexbf!jungkook x female!reader
@ what was leah listening to? : Boyfriend - Ariana Grande
⋆ summary. what do you do if your being stalked? call the police obviously. if you don't and something happens…you cant blame anyone.
⋆ warnings . 18+ mdni… dark/psychotic!jungkook, kidnapping, jungkook expressing his feelings, crying, kissing, angst. lmk if i miss any <3
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༉‧₊˚.this work is pure fiction. no acts performed in this are linked to the charecters that partake in the story line. please refrain from reading if uncomfortable ༉‧₊˚.
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' You're mine forever remember? And i'm yours ' Jungkook said in a ridiculously calm tone.
' that's bullshit. I'm not yours and to be frank i'm happy without you being mine. let. me go.' you stared deep into his piercing glare ' please... '
' no. why can't you just love me y/n? love me like i love you. ' he said almost pleading.
' You don't love me, so what's the point!? ' you said hysterically.
Then everything froze. You froze. Jungkook tilted his head, a psychotic grin stretching across his pale face.
' Don't love.........you? ' he laughed maniacally and grasped your chin forcing you to look at him.
Then he kissed you
It wasn't sweet or passionate, like you're past kisses shared. It was hard, possessive and to your utmost disgust it was alluring. You couldn't help it.
When his hand gripped your nape and his lips devoured yours, you broke and slowly kissed him back, not even trying to keep up.
To your utmost annoyance Jungkook smirked into the kiss, almost impressed you had given in to him.
It was like you were under a spell. One that made you forget all the past troubles between you two. If it was a spell it was a bad one. The illusion lasted a matter of minutes before you pulled away the situation slapping you hard in the face.
' Jungkook I didn't mean to don- ' He cut you off placing a finger to your lips.
' No need to be so cold love. ' he gave you a smug look ' Get some sleep '
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' Miss, you need to eat! ' another maid hissed 'You'll be sick otherwise'
You wondered how Jungkook had managed to hire maids. Since the last time you had seen him he hadn't been necessarily the richest person you knew. And after a prison sentence? How had he built himself up from that of all things?
' Do you really care? ' you queried ' Or are you just doing it because ' Master Jeon ' told you to '
The maid looked offended and slammed the plate down onto the stool next to you and stomped out.
A seamstress attempted to make her way in but was stopped
' You shouldn't even bother with her ' the angry maid whispered.
The seamstress eyed her up and down, smiled at you and bundled her equipment through the door, not giving the maid another second of her time.
You smiled back at her ' Why all the dresses? ' you questioned
' Why they're for you of course!! For tonight ? ' she exclaimed, peering at you through her oval-shaped glasses. ' Why you're a beauty aren't you? It will be hard to decide which dress will suit you i suppose '
You blushed ' Thank you.....but what is happening tonight may i ask miss... '
' Oh just call me Sylvia madam, ' she said ' The dresses are for your dinner today with Master Jeon of course ' she pulled out a pale pink dress that looked fit for a princess out of the pile ' Why don't you try this on first? '
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You entered the dining room in your extravagant gown. It was your first time being out of your ' room '. It would've been the perfect opportunity to escape....if you weren't being escorted to a room, a floor away by a group of scowling maid. Nice company, not. But you did get to at least see one floor of your prison. It was exquisite. The opposite of your dingy room. Sparkling chandeliers hung from the towering ceiling, beautiful, dainty paintings were all over the walls.
The dining room was even better. A colossal room full of gold flecks everywhere, a huge chandelier placed directly in the center of the ceiling. It was ethereal.
One thing ruined it though
Jungkook sat at one end of the extensive dining table. His presence shattered the beauty of the room. There he sat, back-straight in his perfectly ironed black suit and tie and black dress pants. He was out of place. You fit in, if you did say so yourself, your white and gold dress blended in perfectly. Was this purposeful? No, you had chosen this yourself, and you shook away the thoughts and stared at Jungkook.
' Why did you want to have dinner with me ?' you said abruptly
' Don't you look gorgeous darling. ' he ignored your question, annoying you.
' I said. Why did you want to have dinner with me?! ' you seethed.
' Is it so wrong to want to have dinner with my girlfriend? ' he said calmly
' I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ' you shouted
' Calm down, sweetheart. ' his tone still calm. ' Why don't you sit down? Cook made sure he fit you needs, no peaches i promise '
he remembers...
You'd always hated peaches. You weren't allergic, you'd just never liked them? It suprised you that he still remembered, but you weren't about to show it.
You sat down all the way on the other side of the table, making a show of sitting down. Of course, Jungkook wouldn't let that happen.
He stood up and strutted over to you. He grabbed you wrist and dragged you over to his seat. You let it happen. There's no point wasting energy on this.
You tried to sit down on the seat next to him at least.
But no that wasn't even good enough for Jungkook.
He pulled you onto his lap in one swift move, wrapping his arms around you waist as you squirmed.
' Stop moving love '
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moeblob · 12 days
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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
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libraryspectre · 1 month
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Having to let people help me is gonna be my villain origin story
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munamania · 6 months
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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socksandbuttons · 1 year
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i just need everyone to know once in a while of meikerio okay dress up games i know people love them! and theres website right there! have fun!
#i forget how. much detail u can put into these but#i know u can just keep adding things#and u can update ur game if u add new items (as i frequently... forget to update mine. im so sorry.)#i have like... 2 others i was doing of my ocs of fusionfall#i did try thinking of like. making an entire fusionfall creator on there bUT UH... OHO... oh#thats an ambition maybe one day#i cant exactly add more than one body type without SO MUCH... LAYERS...#and complications with that#i have asked if there was a way with their program.. u can get creative with that#but id have to redraw every item just accommidate#an ambition too big. for now.#i may have like put my item reference guide on hold but know. I know now how to access that#i think i was almost done getting everything#altho id have to go into academy or something probably#i think they had other items not in the future server but i could be wrong about that one#*proceeds to go on a rambling of fusionfall fashion and items that she had a catalogue of just because theres WAS LITERALLY no references*#like unless it was a popular item/ beginnger thing#good LUCK but dont worry! i have it all#aside retro. i could ask someone to help with that. expand my reference guide#i think there was a few original ones they added in retro?? they added nanos i assume so#i seem to recall that a few got in#i think they were just gonna do away with gendered items in general i think???#theres a few sets where there IS difference like in the battle ready armor#(when there shouldnt have been)#anyway! i have too much fusionfall knowledge about things
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit
#.vent#i only slept a couple hours last night man. i cant do short notice evening socials on an empty tank let alone resist unexpected rsd#if they had let me know earlier then i wouldve taken a nap and worked out beforehand to get my energy back up#idk just. if u rly want my company then maybe u should actually invite me next time. its not like they didnt plan it#even if they just forgot its not particularly pleasant to be the one person insignificant enough to forget abt. theres only 5 of us#they rly remembered to ask the one guy who isnt even here before me yknow. ugh u see the stupid thoughts i have to battle!!#like on a rational level ik it was probably genuinely accidental. but the way i instinctively react is not always rational#so regardless someone has to deal with the emotional fallout and thats me. regulating this shit is hard work even when im NOT tired asf#i really really dont want to be an asshole and spoil anyones fun bc its no-ones fault + as real as it feels to me rn ik im overreacting#but i cant voluntarily expose myself to personal triggers when im already exhausted + more vulnerable than usual#so just gotta shut myself in my room and deal with it in my own super healthy ways as per usual. may they never fucking find out#trying my best not to be an asshole i hope to fucking god they dont think im being an asshole i just told them i was tired + i meant it#this wouldnt be so much of a problem if it hadnt happened to me before. and also ik its bc one rsd trigger makes me more sensitive-#to picking up unrelated cues but there ARE other things they do that i find ostracising which rly dont fucking help. but-#theyre not things i can actually confront them abt so usually i just gotta deal w it which is fine but it lowers my general tolerance#its ok. its ok i like them all a lot theyre lovely ppl and it doesnt matter if there is a some grain of truth in the things im thinking#bc the risk of me believing + acting on a bad faith irrational thought leads to outcomes that are far worse than those from#misidentifying someones malicious behaviour towards me as neutral by accident/in good faith. okay im done now i think#just ignore me spewing out the old brain gunk on main again eurgh anyway im gonna go calm myself and read and SLEEP#ill be normal by tomorrow morning farewell comrades#honestly i dont mind dealing w shit this way bc its the best option for everyone but man. sometimes its so fucking lonely#like there are sides of me ppl will never engage with and for good reason but without them being acknowledged i find it rly hard to feel-#any real emotional intimacy or closeness with another person. but what other option is there#i sure as hell dont miss the fights i used to constantly get into when i wasnt able to regulate myself i lost so many friends that way#it is what it is. on we go for now
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mrfoox · 1 year
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God im... Probably too nice but it's fine
#miranda talking shit#I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up#I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them#And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats#A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at#Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants#Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear#What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in...#He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things#I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao#That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss#Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun?#But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭#Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv#Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and#White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol#Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own'#Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously#Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me...#And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i#Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that...#I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :')#If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he#Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when#He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it#And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively#To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental#Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just#Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love#Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did
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verstappen-cult · 5 months
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL | CL16
— 02. THE MEDDLING
PREV. PART | NEXT PART — [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]
summary: in which charles has an embarrassing crush on alex's childhood best friend and everyone meddles. content warnings: faceclaim is taylor hill but you can picture her as you’d like! some cursing and for the sake of the smau imola was not canceled. note: thank you sm for the love you showed the first part! once again if you see some mistakes please know that english is not my first language and i noticed them once everything was finished. if you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know! ♡
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INSTAGRAM STORIES
MAY 14, 2023.
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TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM POST
📍 ROMA, ITALY
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Liked by yourusername, lilymhe and 432,503 others
alex_albon Don’t believe anything they say, I won ⛳️
view all 3,799 comments
lilymhe i’m not gonna say anything. 🤐
user35 so it is true. they were with charles and Y/N user36 We don’t know that user37 someone working there confirmed it
charles_leclerc mate you fell like three times
user38 WE GOT THE CONFIRMATION user39 omg this makes it real user40 BUT WAS Y/N ACTUALLY THERE
user41 not his entire comment section filled with charles and Y/N fans 🙄🙄🙄
user42 PARENTS
yourusername shut up you know i won
user43 OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDD user44 i cant believe it i’m having a crisis over this user45 context pls user46 everyone’s saying they were in a double date and apparently this is the confirmation.
pierregasly thanks for (not) inviting me!!!
📍 ROMA, ITALY
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Liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya and 756,223 others
yourusername i won. i have witnesses.
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alex_albon keep saying that 🥱
yourusername SHUT UP
user47 not a single pic of charles and her together but we know they were together
user48 feeding us crumbs
user49 she looks so pretty
zendaya tom keeps saying we need to play golf when you’re back in london.
yourusername tell him i’m gonna kick his ass
landonorris you should play with people that actually knows how to play: ME
lilymhe SORRY? yourusername dw lils, i have your back
user50 i love how she’s befriending everyone
user51 thanks to alex user52 and your point is? user51 she’s using him for his fame user53 LOOOOOOL
pierregasly thanks for (not) inviting me!!!
user54 what’s more hilarious to me than this whole “double date” discourse are pierre comments on both alex and Y/N posts because they did not invite him.
Y/N & ALEX’S iMESSAGE
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THURSDAY MAY 18, 2023 — PRESS CONFERENCE
charles is sitting next to lando and max, pierre next to him as alex stands in front of them. he’s aware they’re talking about what they’re expecting from this weekend, but he can’t seem to focus on what they are actually saying, only picking up pieces of the conversation. he’s too focused on his phone, the message thread he has with Y/N staring back at him. the last text he has from her is just a simple ‘cool’ after he was trying to play it cool.
“what you doing, charlie?” max asks, playfully poking him in the ribs. he immediately locks his phone, raising his head only to find that everyone is looking at him already.
“i know what he’s doing.” lando wiggles his eyebrows and charles wonders if he really needs his fingers to race. “you screwed up.”
charles knows he screwed up, and definitely doesn’t need lando reminding him the awful mistake he made for just trying not to sound too intense because, of course, he’s made that mistake in the past. and every girl he’s had something with always said the same: ‘you’re too much, charles’, ‘you’re taking things too fast, we should take a break.’ so ever since the last girl he dated, once again, said the same thing, charles promised himself he would not be that guy.
“hey,” alex has this look of pity in his eyes that he doesn’t like, not even one bit. “maybe we could do something to help you.”
“i don’t need your help.” charles’ tone is too sharp and abrupt it’s makes him feel a little bad for talking to his friends like that. but just a little.
“look, you like her, right?” pierre chimes in, but doesn’t wait for an answer. “alex is his best friend, if you want a chance with her, he’s the only one who can help you right now.”
but why does he wanna help him?
alex must see the question written all over his face because he says, “she’s dated a few assholes in the past and i really want something good for her. i trust you, charles.” he tries to look serious which only makes charles laugh. “besides, i have the perfect idea.”
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ALEX’S iMESSAGE — MAY 18, 2023
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INSTAGRAM POST
📍 VENICE, ITALY — MAY 19, 2023
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Liked by scottyjames31, lance_stroll and 976,665 others
yourusername a few days ago i had the pleasure to celebrate two of my favorite people, Chloe and Scotty James. and spent two wonderful days filled with love and joy in the beautiful venice! so happy for you both. 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏼🩷
i wish i could stay here forever, but back to reality for now. :(
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user55 i didn’t know she’s friends with the strolls
lance_stroll I have very embarrassing videos of you, just remember that 🍾
user56 why lance and Y/N look kinda good together
user57 That’s exactly what I was thinking. They would look pretty good as a couple user58 he has a girlfriend user59 and Y/N is probably dating charles user57 only rumors
user60 back to reality? she’s not gonna be in the paddock this weekend?
user61 why would she? nobody wants her there
user62 i thought she was in italy for the gp
user63 just a coincidence user62 still hoping she’ll be there
francisca.cgomes I’m gonna need to borrow that beautiful dress! ❤️
user63 she really knows everyone now user64 literally. she was just one time at a race and befriended everyone
user65 i feel like we’re missing something
Y/N’s iMESSAGE
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SATURDAY MAY 20, 2023 — THE MISSION 007 DINNER
the second you see a head of brown hair standing at the door, you want to walk over to where alex is sitting and smash his head on the table. you made sure before arriving to the restaurant that charles was not gonna be there tonight, even lando told you he was busy with some ferrari event. obviously, both lied to you.
“hey, charles!” george, who’s standing next to you, his girlfriend carmen at your other side, waves at him. and for the first time since that fateful dinner a few days ago, you make eye contact with his bright brown eyes.
butterflies break free inside your belly, even when you try to repress everything he makes you feel.
you’ve known charles for no more than ten days but it really feels like you’ve known each other your whole life. everything is so easy with him, you can’t remember when was the last time you felt this way, if it ever happened.
you thought everything was going well between you two and, for a minute, you let yourself believe he could like you. but then he gave you the cold shoulder and everything came crashing down.
and that’s your problem. you always feel so much in so little time that when things don’t go the way you’d like, everything hurts twice as hard.
there’s no one to blame but you.
“hey,” is it possible to like the sound of his voice so much that you feel your knees going weak?
“you’re the last one to arrive. here,” george shares a look with his girlfriend that you don’t really know how to read, and both move aside. “you’re sitting here tonight. we’ll go find our seats.”
you want the earth to swallow you. you want to be in a plane far away from here because the seat george is pointing at it’s right next to yours.
before you can open your mouth to say something, the couple slips away. and suddenly it feels like you and charles are the only ones in the room.
no one says a word for what feels like hours. you’re actually trying to find a excuse to leave when charles sighs, defeated.
“i’m sorry.” his voice is almost a whisper, something only for you to hear. “i acted like an idiot.”
“yeah,” you agree because you don’t know what else to say. he did act like an idiot, ignoring you for days, not answering your texts even when you asked him if something was wrong.
“i can explain if you’d let me.”
his brown eyes bore into yours, so soft and sincere your heart skips a beat. and even if you want to say no, your whole body begs you to accept.
“let’s eat first and enjoy the evening,” his face lights up like a kid on christmas day. “then i’ll let you buy me dessert and we can talk.”
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TWITTER — SUNDAY MAY 21, 2023
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TAGLIST (bold means i couldn’t tag you) — @leclerc16s. @willowpains. @berrnuu. @minkyungseokie. @sassyheroneckgiant. @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir. @nessacarty1. @a1leexxa. @storminacloud. @lovstappen.
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note: i hope you liked it. i’m sorry if i forgot to tag you! please let me know what you think, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated. <3
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beenbaanbuun · 4 months
Text
Face sitting with Mingi
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words - no fucking clue
genre - smut
warnings - chubby!reader, dom!mingi, oral (f!receiving), insecurity, internalised fatphobia, nicknames (baby, princess, mingi calls himself baby boy…), praise, brief discussion of safe words, consensual somnophilia (if you squint - mingi gets off on readers thigh and she falls asleep halfway through), i think that’s it :)
one thing you’d realised about mingi is that although he may be dominant in nature, that man really knows how to beg
long limbs trapping you in place as he looks up at you with puppy eyes and whimpers in your ear until you’re practically a puddle in his lap, ready to give into his every desire
he‘a almost impossible to say no to with his pretty pout, almost being the key word
because there’s just one little thing you always say no to
after the last time you denied his request under the guise of being ‘too tired’ you expect it to be more than two days before he asks you again
but it’s not really a surprise… mingi is insatiable when it comes to you
so you just let it happen, body going almost limp as he holds you against kiss chest and kisses down your neck gently
“mmm, taste so good,” he licks a long stripe up your neck before taking your earlobe into his mouth and suckling gently, “you know what tastes better, though.”
you can’t help but moan as he teases you
“you’ll let me eat you out, right?” he whispers, and you nod.
and then he drops the same bombshell as last time and you freeze
“you’ll sit nice and prettily on my face, hm? let your baby boy devour you?”
you cant deny that you’d like to
fuck, you almost say yes there and then!
but before you can, you take a moment to come to your senses and realise that as hot as it sounds, it just won’t work
it takes a few seconds to give your body a once over with your eyes, picking out all the bits of it that carry just a little more weight than you’d like
too heavy, you decide as you begin to rack your brain for yet another excuse as to why you can’t sit on his face tonight
but just as you’re about to spout some nonsense excuse that makes no sense, mingi cuts you off
“and don’t say you’re too tired this time, baby,” he rubs your thicker waist with his hand, massaging the soft flesh like he’s kneading dough, “you were up for getting your pussy eaten before knowing exactly how i wanted to eat you.”
and again, you freeze
he has you caught, and you begin to realise that he knows you too well
“m’not going to say i’m too tired,” you definitely were, “my legs just ache too much to hold myself up for that long.”
“mhm,” he doesn’t believe you for a second, “well, that’s the good thing about sitting on someone’s face, princess… you sit”
his hand shifts to your bare thigh that poked out from your skirt, and he gropes it, big palm tugging at it until your legs are spread a little
“w-well…” you think for a moment, “my hips ache! i cant spread my legs for that long!”
he chuckles darkly in your ear
again, you know he sees through your bullshit
“if i was eating you out on a normal day, your legs would be spread,” he trails his hand up higher, “so tell me the real reason, baby.”
and you realise there’s no getting out of it
you’ll have to sit and tell him exactly why you can’t before he proves you wrong and shows you exactly why you can
its the same as when you told him you didn’t want to wear lingerie because you thought you were too big
you should’ve known mingi would go out and buy the prettiest sets he could find and get you to give him a show, all why he sat and palmed at his dick, showering you with pretty praises
you sigh, working up the courage to do it
“m’too big to sit on your face,” you mumble, “i’ll just hurt you.”
he hums in response, drawing patterns on your thigh with a finger
“and you think i care that you consider yourself ‘too big,’ do you?”
of course he doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t care
you shake your head
“listen, baby,” he readjusts you on his lap so you’re facing him, one leg either side of his lap, “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but your reasoning is fucking stupid. if you want this, then there should be nothing holding you back…”
you try and avoid his gaze
he finds it cute for a few seconds, but he’s soon lifting your chin and making you focus on him once more
“so,” he leans forward to press a chaste kiss to your pouty lips, “you want this or not?”
and you do want it… you want it so bad!
so you nod
“you know the rules, princess,” another kiss, “i need your words…”
it takes a moment for the words to process in your brain, and then another moment for them to form in your mouth
“can i sit on your face?”
“you’re so well behaved for me…”
and just like that, mingi gently pushes you to the side and positions himself so he’s lay on the sofa, legs hanging off one end so he has a enough room for his head to lie flat at the other
and he’s dragging you closer to him by your hips, and pulling one leg over until your wet panties hover just a few inches above his mouth
his jaw is slack in awe as he moves the damp material to the side and lays his eyes on your pretty pussy
it takes a moment to shake himself out of the trance you have him in
“so perfect, hm?” he whispers, “so pretty and perfect, aren’t you?”
you let out a loud whine at his words, nothing but embarrassment filling you up
he gives your hips an experimental tug, pulling your core just a little closer to his waiting mouth
and you resist, just a little bit
a little bit is enough for him to pause
“baby, i’m only doing this if you’re fully on board,” and you are, you’re just a little nervous, “i need you to sit, baby… can you do that for me?”
you whisper out a ‘yes’, but you still make no movement
you’re still a little scared
“okay, how about this,” he says, “you sit down and i tap your thigh if i want you to move, alright? i can guarantee i won’t, but at least the failsafe is there, okay?”
you cant lie, it makes you feel better
a lot better actually
knowing that he has a way to tell you it’s too much makes you feel a whole lot safer
it makes you let out a giggle as you finally understand why mingi is always so insistent on the whole ‘safeword’ thing
if your lips were anywhere near his, you’d kiss him
for now, you’d have to settle for something else
and from that point, it takes just a few seconds for you to lower your cunt to his mouth
the groan he makes when contact is made is borderline sinful and he wastes no time slurping at your wet pussy
tongue tracing patterns up and down your slit before delving deep inside to collect as much nectar as it could
lips circling around your clit, suckling ever so gently before adding more and more pressure
messy, open mouth kisses to your hole as if he’s desperate to make out with it
youre a mess within minutes, and you wholeheartedly blame mingi
you fall forwards at some point, barely holding yourself up with your elbows
your plush tummy rests just a few inches above mingi’s forehead and he can’t help but shift his hands until they’re resting flat against it
they massage the flesh as his tongue massages your clit
and before you know it, you’re crumbling
your hips buck against his open mouth, but mingi drinks up everything you have to offer him, grunting loudly as if it’s the best think he’s ever tasted
he works you through it, barely dipping a toe into overstimulation before pulling you away and shuffling a little so you can lie next to him
he’s rock hard against your hip, but when you try and move you hands to do something about it, he clasps them in his own
“i can use your thigh, baby,” he whispers as he begins to rhythmically rub his crotch against your leg, “almost there anyway… tasted too good.”
and in a weirdly peaceful way, you can’t help but fall into a slumber as your boyfriend ruts against your thigh, kissing your cheek with his sticky lips as he groans in your ear with his deep voice
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mochinomnoms · 2 months
Note
i know in the leech family that its a running joke that the mc is their cleaner shrimp and i cant help but think when its finally the leech parents turn!
Imagine mc and the leech family are going out to do some family bonding and the mc causally picks off some lint or hair off papa leech or mama leech and their mood just instantly brightens :D They go like “thank you dear! Is there anything else on me?” And the parents are just spinning around happy because their child-in-law is doing shrimp things with them! (Meanwhile jade and floyd are off to the side being like “what about me D:<”)
also may I be 🪸 anon or 💫 anon?
YEEAAAAH FAMILY SHRIMP!!!
I think it's a very sweet idea! Whether it's just one of the twins or both that you've gotten involved in, they both enjoy your fretting and picking at them. Floyd most often gets your attention, as he's always getting up to stuff and messy. However, he's more prone to scrapes from basketball and burns from cooking at the lounge, so he gets lots of attention from you. Floyd loves it, he loves being taken care of for once, instead of being feared or seen as a big bad eel. He needs loving too! He needs to be treated tenderly and kindly. Floydie just wants to be loved, and who better to do that than you?
Jade on the other hand will just get dirty when hiking and foraging, but rarely get any scrapes or cuts. He might bruise here or there depending on how it went, but over all you're more likely to need to clean stray twigs, leaves, and dirt for him. In fact, you'll find Jade approaching you after his extensions, every single time, asking for your assistance. Maybe join him in the bath and help him clean up? As his cleaner shrimp? Pretty pleeease? After all, the caretaker needs some caring too sometimes.
When you eventually get introduced to the family and properly fit into your place with the Leeches, with an appropriate shrimp merform! Papa and Mama Leech are just happy that their boys have such a sweet partner. You further solidify your spot when they learn about your “shrimp” tendencies. They think it's so cute! So imagine their delight when you start tending to them like you do their sons!
Papa Leech will often find himself get into...”scuffles” after work. Normally, the family doctor would be available to patch him up, but they were already attending to a patient of theirs. Here comes their resident shrimp, offering to patch him up! You babbling about Floyd and how he always got hurt from his activities at school, so it wasn't a problem. At this point, you're practically a pro! Papa Leech has stars in his eyes, though, he has the cutest child-in-law!!! And you've been doing this for his boys, for free??!! Screw Floyd and Jade if they ever break up with you (like they'd ever would) cause Papa is keeping you in the family for the foreseeable future. Not only are you convenient, but you care for him like family, he'd be a barnacle to let you go. If you're not already married to his boys, prepare yourself, cause he's already organizing the engagement and wedding. No, he did not ask his boys beforehand.
As for Mama Leech, she's been repeated described as a worrywart, and overly cautious, especially regarding her family. I think that, since you weren't brought up in the family like her boys, would be prone to keeping you at her side. If Papa and the twins are off for “work” then you can find her snatching you up for some mother-in-law time to keep you nice and safe! This is when she gets her own version of shrimp tending, via you doing her hair and makeup! She does love dressing up and looking pretty, and is delighted when you start brushing through her hair with your fingers, braiding it and softly applying her lipstick. It's been so long since her boys were little and played dress up with her! But here you are, so sweet and soft and gentle with her! She's now become attached, if you so much as try and leave the family, Mama is sobbing and begging you to stay, while also strangling her sons for what ever they did wrong (she knows they did something the little troublemakers).
I'd say that the twins only get mildly jealous, after all, the more time you spend with their parents the less they get with you! And you're their partner!!! They suppose they should be happy that you get along so well with their parents. Except Floyd. Floyd wishes to monopolize your time and will hide you away with Jade in a dark coral nook. He called you Shrimpy first, it's his right!!!
(I will dub thee 🪸 anon!! welcome!)
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jinnie-ret · 8 months
Note
9th member reader where skz are on a talk show or smth and the host is saying some uncomfy stuff abt reader being the only girl in a group of boys. the boys would be kinda passive aggressive about their replies because they cant outright say anything for fear of bad publicity and being disrespectful. i like the idea of the boys sticking up for reader in any way they can, even if they have to be sly about it so reader knows they have their back
bite my tongue
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stray kids x ninth member!reader
genre: angst
content warnings: sexual harassment (verbal)
word count: 1.6k
summary: when an interviewer decides to pick on you specifically, the boys do their best to hold back and get you out of the situation.
Thank you so much for this request! I'm sorry it took so long for me to answer but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!
As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)
MAIN MASTERLIST
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You decided you hated interviews. There was clearly a difference between how they'd talk to the boys in comparison to how they'd treat you. Whether it was by completely ignoring your existence or sexualising you as the only female in the group, it made you feel awful. The gross comments that were made caused you to feel uncomfortable, yet your demeanour was too shy to fight back. Perhaps that was a good thing, you had 8 other members to defend you at all times anyways.
You were currently doing an interview to promote S-CLASS, your new title track, and it seemed to be a nice atmosphere, a nice sit down conversation where you could talk about your music mixed in with other personal questions to make it more fun. But that was the issue, it wasn't fun. It started off light-hearted, and you worried you were being sensitive and overreacting at first when you suspected the questions you received weren't normal ones, but by the expressions on the boys' faces, you realised you were right to feel this way.
"So, Y/N, tell me, what was it like getting to do a more masculine dance this time? I saw the music video and I was quite surprised at how well you did," the male interviewer started off.
You mouth visibly dropped open in shock, yet you did your best to answer, despite your nerves.
"Ummm, I think my dance skills have improved over the years, yes," you said, not able to make eye contact with the man, not directly saying anything about his prejudiced words.
You had been with Stray Kids from the very start. Yes, the public had their things to say about you being in a group with a bunch of guys, but it had been 5 years now. Of course you were accustomed to the dance style of Stray Kids. You had created your own image through your music and dance, so what if the dance moves were typically more powerful with sharper movements? You were part of the dance line for a reason.
"Our Y/Nnie did so well," Hyunjin ruffled your hair from where he was sat behind you, trying to lighten the mood as he could tell his other members weren't too happy with how you were being treated.
You turned to Hyunjin with a thankful smile.
"So, 3RACHA, you do all the producing for the group right? That's quite a unique situation amongst idol groups," the man asked the group, and nearly everyone let out a sigh of relief and allowed themselves to smile, grateful for a normal question.
"Ah yes, 3RACHA have been together since predebut, so we've worked hard over the years to create music that represents our group and who we are," Jisung nodded and explained.
You couldn't help but check the time on your watch, seeing there was still 10 minutes to go.
"Y/N, how did it feel having to squeeze into your outfit in the MV? I noticed it was quite a tight leather jumpsuit you wore, that must have been difficult to wear considering it clinged onto you so tightly," the man directed his question at you again, and you were taken aback once more.
"It, umm, it wasn't too difficult, yeah... I think it fitted the vibe of the song," you said, clearly uncomfortable as you shifted in your seat.
Why did you get these types of questions? The boys got asked about music, and you instead got ridiculed for your skills and sexualised by the gross man in his mid 40s.
"Don't you want to ask me about how I fitted into my outfit? I've been working out these days," Changbin tensed his arms, flexing and patting his muscles proudly as he took the attention away from you. He seemed to have been thinking the same way as you.
"Maybe you should help Y/N, she's so small and weak, you could do anything you wanted with her," the man suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at you, and quite frankly, you wanted to throw up.
"Have you been working out, sir?" Minho spoke sharply and asked the man, infuriated.
"Oh yes I'm quite strong, can lift just about anyone in this room," he said. The statement of course, inferred he was challenging everyone else, yet his eyes never left your shy and nervous figure sat on the stool.
Everyone could see it. And they knew it was time for something to be done. They didn't think they could last the rest of the interview without punching the interviewer in the face. Yet, they did their best to keep their composure.
"Sorry, sir," Chan began through gritted teeth, tongue poking his cheek, "unfortunately we don't have anymore time for this interview," and he gestured everyone to stand up and follow his lead, exiting the room.
As you did so, you saw the blatantly shocked face on the man's face, Felix wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you left.
The boys were calm, until you made it to your backstage room where you had gotten ready earlier. All hell broke loose.
"What does that man think he's doing?" Changbin slammed his hand down onto the table, making you jump as you stayed quiet.
"I can't believe all those stupid things he was saying!" Minho growled, folding his arms.
"He's disgusting," Seungmin shook his head.
Chan was the angriest of them all, face of thunder as he paced the room. And yet, you couldn't help but feel bad. Surely, that interview couldn't be released now? And it was meant to help promote your new music, and because of your presence in the group, you felt like you were taking that opportunity away from them.
"Y/Nnie?" Jeongin waved his hand in your face to get your attention.
"Hmm?" you shook your head wondering what he was asking.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently, and with all the anger that was in the room, it dissipated with your calm voice breaking through it.
"I guess..." you didn't really know what to say at this point. You felt like you should have been used to it by now.
"I know that look on your face, Y/Nnie, don't even go there," Chan shook his head at you, a frown still present on his face.
"I don't want to do interviews anymore," you suddenly blurted, fiddling with your hands nervously.
"Y/N..." Hyunjin sighed, but you cut him off.
"Every time we promote something we get an interview like this that can't be put out to the public. And it's because I'm here. And then that means our music will be getting out to less people out there and-" you fretted.
"If you seriously think this is your fault Y/N," Seungmin sat up, pure disbelief seeping through his words as he couldn't believe that even with the way you were being treated you still felt guilty.
"Y/N, you didn't make that interviewer say all those gross things towards you," Felix rubbed your shoulder soothingly.
"You actually did really well to still try and answer him," Jisung nodded at you, thinking that he wouldn't have been able to have done the same thing.
"I had to bite my tongue so many times to not shout at him," Changbin gritted his teeth.
"This is why I shouldn't do these anymore, because it just ends up stressing you guys out," you felt bad, sitting down with your leg bouncing up and down.
"You're worried about us? We're worried about you, it's not fair that someone talks to you like that," Jeongin shook his head, hands on his hips.
"Y/N, here's what we're going to do. First, we're going to file a complaint against that guy. And second, for all future interviews we'll get the company to do a thorough check on if they're respectful and actually treat their guests right," Chan began, a plan already sorted in his mind for what action they could take.
"You're part of this group as much as anyone else, we can't represent Stray Kids without you there with us," Minho said like it was obvious, but it didn't feel that way to you.
"But it's always going to be the same thing. I'd rather not risk it again," you say, upset at the situation you had all been put in.
"Chan hyung already said, we can check what the show is like before going on it. That way you can decide from there, yeah?" Felix suggested, hand stroking through your hair as he sat next to you on the sofa.
"Or if you really don't want to do interviews anymore, I'm sure there's a way we can work around it. We could do more company based promotions and Div.1 can help us make our own shows?" Jisung wondered.
"No, I don't want to make things more complicated... I'll do them, I will, I just don't want this to ever happen again. It stresses me out, makes me feel all, gross," you shuddered.
"As long as you're sure, Y/N," Changbin checked in on you as everyone grabbed their things ready to leave the studio.
"Yeah, I'm sure," you mustered up a small smile, leaving with the others.
As you walked to the cars, you spoke up again, speaking louder than your normal quiet voice to catch the attention of everyone else.
"Thanks, by the way guys. Thank you for doing that."
"You don't have to thank us for that, Y/Nnie. We'd do that anytime, you know that," Hyunjin ruffled your hair, him and the rest of the boys now seeming more themselves and happier as you were leaving.
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng
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kelstey · 3 months
Text
i waited
theodore nott x reader
warnings : none
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❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
theo kissed your forehead, both you bodies sticky and sweaty from the moments prior. you smiled to yourself as his muscular arms made their way around you.
"i don't think i'll ever get over how beautiful you are," theo ran his fingers through yourhair.
"thank you, theo," you turned your head and kissed his lips.
your happiness was quickly replaced by a sudden wave of what felt like guilt and shame.
the two of you had always been close, sharing kisses, looks, even touching when no oneelse would be looking. that part killed you.
no one knew. not even pansy and luna. given, luna may not be accepted by a large majority of slytherins but you couldn't help but love her, she was amazing and understood you in a way no one else did.
that's how private the two of you had decided- well improvised on. you wanted to show him off. you wanted to kiss him before class, hold hands when sat next to each other, dance in front of everyone, everything.
but he didn't want that. he liked the privacy. but you were never sure if that was really a cover for simply using you.
but you let him.
"i should get going, i'm going out with luna to the three broomsticks," you moved out of theo's arms and started picking up the clothes that were discarded all over the room after theo ripped them off of you.
"tell her i said hi," theo said, another thing that you liked about him. he liked luna. but he was partially stupid as you couldn't tell luna that he said hi, she would ask questions as to why he would even do that.
"i think you forgot we are a secret," you put your tights on.
"fuck, yeah. well- have fun then," theo waved and you hurried out, still attempting to tie your tie.
you felt the tears coming. you couldn't help it. you felt idiotic to allow theo to walk all over you. you promised yourself you would never let a man take you for a fool, but no. here you are, years later, being taken as a fool by a man you were in love with.
obviously he didn't know, he couldn't. it would ruin everything.
the two of you agreed to strictly have just sex. just sex. just stupid fucking amazing sex. he was a natural at it, he knew how to make you cum in minutes. he had you wrapped around his finger.
you typically wouldn't let anyone see or touch you, but theo? he could do anything and you would let him. it also felt like a weird bonding experience.
sex is intimate, of course. it's the closest two souls can get to each other. and you were convinced that the countless amount of times you did it in a day with him made some sort of connection.
you wiped your tears away as you entered the three broomsticks and saw luna sat alone in your usual corner. "luna!"
"you're here!" she exclaimed and got up out of her seat to hug you.
"of course, you know i love our chats here," you smiled and the two of you sat down.
"are you okay?" she asked as she observed the mascara which was evidently smudged under your eyes.
you had to tell her. you had to tell someone. there's no one you would rather tell than her. "luna, please, pinky promise me you won't ever tell a soul."
she nodded, "your secret is safe with me. you know that."
you looked around the place, only noticing two other tables of people who seemed to be in their own little worlds. "okay, me and theo have been hooking up. like friends with benefits style, but i'm in love with him. i cant keep doing this. it hurts, luna. i want to love him and kiss him around our friends but i can't."
luna sat and listened to you ramble on, a few tears shedding in the process. "that's horrible. but you must know, no man, especially one who you aren't even dating, should ever make you feel this way. the right one will make you cry only tears of happiness and pleasure, if you know what i mean."
her comment made you laugh, this was why you loved her. "thanks lu. sorry about that rant, i haven't told anyone and so feel special you're first to hear about this fucked up situation."
"i'm glad you can trust me, but i think i may have an idea," luna sat upright. "how about you stop meeting him so often? maybe start seeing him once a day; then once every few days. if you want to take it a step further you could even start hanging out with another boy more."
"luna you're a fucking genius," you reached over and hugged her.
"you know i always have the best ideas," she giggled.
just then the door opened and luna's eyes focused behind you, as your back was turned to the door.
"who is it?" you asked as you noticed her smile had dropped.
"don't turn around if you don't want to cry," she said and you immediately turned your head 180°.
"no fucking way," your jaw dropped as you saw theo walk in with cho. "is he fucking shitting me right now? luna tell me i'm dreaming. tell me."
"i'm sorry, babe. do you want to go somewhere else?" she asked.
"yes it is best we go. i don't think i'll be able to hold back a fucking fist in both their stupid faces," you both got up.
and as for your amazing luck, they both spotted you and luna. theo called out your name and walked over to you. "hey, what's up?" he asked with a stupid smile on his face as if he didn't know what he was doing.
"hey theo," luna gave a small wave and he smiled at her.
"we were just leaving," you said and took luna's hand and the two of you walked out. you heard theo say something but you were too distracted by the ringing in your ears.
"it's okay, it's okay," luna engulfed you into a very big, very needed hug.
"why would he do that? i literally told him i was going to be here with you?" you cried into her arms.
"he's a boy, they don't think with their brains, only their dicks."
-
it had been a few days since the incident and you still had not spoke to theo. you were going out of your way to ignore him, not caring if it hurt you more than him.
you would spot theo in the halls, once he noticed you, you had already turned around and walked the complete opposite way before he even got a chance to call out your name.
it hurt too much. it didn't help that after those first couple of days, he eventually stopped trying to get your attention. instead he was being all handsy with cho.
it killed you, hardly being able to speak or react. it also hurt that you had to distance yourself from the other slytherins who noticed the lack of your presence.
but it wasn't all too bad, instead of hanging with them you and luna started hanging out more. she would check up on you constantly, making sure to cheer you up to avoid you thinking about him.
she knew you were deeply upset about it. she allowed you to grieve, cry and let all of it out. she herself had never experienced this type of hurt, but she was almost grateful as she saw how badly it impacted you.
aside from not speaking to theo, you kept your head up high. you still went to class, still did your work, still sat at the slytherin table for meals. everyone noticed the tension between the two of you.
no one asked, or at least in front of your face. they decided it was better to keep quiet and try keep things as normal as could be.
amongst those few days of hurting, you started growing closer with mattheo. he was also there for you, he wasn't sure exactly what happened with theo but he knew it was hurting you and so he decided to be there for you.
he also had to admit that it was also due to the fact that he fancied you. you began sitting next to him at meals, class, even sometimes being spotted after classes walking together.
this didn't go unnoticed by theo, of course. he wanted to punch mattheo in his face. mattheo was one of theo's closest friends and to see him get close with you, it also hurt him.
it was a stupid, stupid situation. the two of you pretending to move on while both your feelings grew stronger- though a large majority of it was anger due to the fact you were not communicating.
or at least verbally communicating. whenever you looked up, no matter where you were, his eyes were the first ones to meet yours.
it was ridiculous, really. you couldn't seem to get away from him, he seemed to stalk you as if you were prey. he couldn't get you out of his mind.
-
you looked over at the clock, 2:56am. great. you couldn't seem to sleep for some reason and it was starting to annoy you. you quietly got out of bed, slipping on a random hoodie on the floor and your slippers before leaving your dorm. you knew that after 12am, no teachers or prefects would be on lookout so you didn't have to worry too much about getting caught.
you made your way up to the astronomy tower, your favourite spot to go when you were unable to sleep. you reached into your pj short pockets and retrieved the joint that you rolled earlier.
you got the lighter out and attempted to light it. of course it had to be out of fluid. you were just away to get up when you noticed theo standing behind you.
"you spooky bitch! why the fuck would you stand there like that, holy fuck bro. you better be glad i'm a teenager and not an old woman cause you would've gave me a heart attack," you scolded him as you raised a hand over your heart to relieve yourself of the pure distress he just put you through.
"calm down, darling. here's a lighter," he passed you his stainless steel lighter. the same one you carved both of your initials into. you were surprised he used it.
"you don't get to do that," you looked up at him, feeling anger flowing through your veins. theo looked at you, he seemed confused but also like he knew what was happening.
"you don't get to have cuddle me, kiss me, make love to me, everything a couple would do, and then fucking show up to a place where you knew i was at with another stupid fucking girl! do you know how long i've waited for you? years theo, fucking years! i thought it was best to keep waiting, hoping for the day that you would admit you loved me back, but you didn't. but i still waited, theo, i fucking waited. i would never do this if it was anyone else," you felt tears threatening to spill and a lump in your throat.
theo remained quiet, he looked down at his hands and played with the silver rings which decorated his stupidly pretty hands. you waited for him to say something, anything. but he didn't. once again, but were you surprised.
"have your stupid lighter back. i never should've carved our initials in it thinking we could've been something," you shoved the silver lighter into his hands before walking off.
❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
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sincerelyneo · 1 month
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omg hello! i missed you so much!!! 💖 would you consider reposting arcade again?? it was legit the best thing i’ve ever read omg i was so sad when i couldnt find it anymore
its fine if you cant tho!! im glad youre backkkk💖💖💖
ofc i can, i’m glad you liked it <3
arcade | p.js
“i’m out of control, full power up”
💿now playing: arcade by nct dream
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❯ summary: Jisung’s been nothing but busy lately, so when you hear he got the weekend of your anniversary off, you can’t help but plan something to spend time with him. Expect, the only thing jisung wants after his busy month is you — and he’s not gonna let your silly arcade date get in the way of that.
❯ pairings: jisung x fem!reader
❯ genre: established relationship, smut, fluffish.
❯ words: 3.5k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, fingering, exhibitionism, reader uses she/her pronouns, use of the name baby, jisung takes pictures whilst fingering reader in a photobooth idk???
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"You brought us to an arcade for our three year anniversary?"
You look over to Jisung standing by your side as the pair of you stood in front of the arcade entryway with the giant neon sign above your heads.
"Yeah, surprise - who doesn't love a date night with pizza and an arcade?" You grin, trying to hide the look of nervousness fighting to show once you notice his frown.
“Baby,” he groans, whiny, “I thought we were gonna go home after the pizza.”
You may have lied to him about that.
When you told Jisung about tonight’s date, he originally objected. He wanted to have a chilled night in with just the two of you — alone. Something he hadn’t had for the past four weeks he’d been strung up at work. Yet, you insisted that the two of you celebrated your three year anniversary just like you had done for your first and second.
So instead, the two of you came up with a compromise: head to your favourite pizza place, then come home and watch a movie snuggled together on the couch. In Jisung’s mind ‘watch a movie’ was code for letting his hands roam all over your body whilst he watched you whither and squirm, but he figured it was best to not discuss the minute details.
But don’t get him wrong. Just because he wanted to have a quiet night in didn't mean he hasn’t missed you — because oh he has. He’s only bothered the rest of the dreamies with his annual ‘I miss her’ speech every other hour.
And whilst typically Jisung loved to spend every passing minute of the day with you; right now, all he could think about was how much he wanted to be balls deep in the cunt he’d missed so much — not spending his time in some arcade.
"I haven't been inside one of these since I was a little kid," you tell him. “Please Sungie, just for an hour.” You begin tugging on his hands.
“I don’t know, Y/N. Aren’t we a bit too old to be playing in the arcade?” he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Pretty please!”
You hope the small flutter in your eyelashes is enough to win over the hesitant man. And you know it will because he’s told you several times not to give him those signature doe eyes, because he can’t ever bring himself to say no to them.
"Fine."
He grasps your hand, threading your fingers together as he starts to lead the two of you inside. You're instantly greeted with the loud electronic sound effects from the various games, along with the random music playing inside.
There's lights flashing everywhere, and you notice a bunch of people sitting at the bar and in booths near the front of the arcade, along with a bunch wandering around all of the games.
Jisung looks sideways before gesturing his head to the row of retro games, "what do you wanna play?" He asks.
“You can pick first, because I’m such a good girlfriend.”
He can’t help but smile at you — because he knows you're right.
“How about we play some pinball?
"I take it back," you say with a pointed look, "I’ve seen you play that with Chenle and I’m definitely gonna lose.”
“Too late, you’ve already given me the power,” he shrugs and pulls your arm over to where the game is situated.
“Ugh, Jisung. There’s no point, I already know I’m gonna lose,” you try to protest.
“Stop complaining,” he grasps your hips to turn you around to face the pinball machine then comes to stand behind you.
He takes your hands and places them on the buttons either side of the machine in front of you. You feel your cheeks flush when you feel Jisung’s chin rest on your shoulder, as he guides your fingers over the controls and silently coaches you through the game.
You don’t know how he always does it but even here, he's managing to create some form of sexual tension between the two of you at a pinball machine.
“Jisung..” you whisper as he places teasing kisses along your neck.
“Shhh, I’m just trying to help you out,” his lips brush against your neck as he continues hitting the buttons at a constant steady speed. “Besides, I think I’ve found my new favourite way to play pinball tonight."
Eventually, the ball shoots straight down between the two flippers, drawing the game to an end. He’d been doing so well that you wanted to turn around and kiss him but he pressed you harder against the machine, dipping into the crook of your neck to tease your ear.
"You've got no idea how badly I wish I could bend you over this and fuck you right here, right now."
It sent shivers down your whole body as you felt him grin against your skin when he noticed the sharp inhale of air you sucked in at his words.
Jisung knows you're shy, so he’s not surprised that you try to snake away from his grip at his crude remark.
"Look, we got a new high score," he says while he slips his hands from over yours and slides them up your arms. Pretending he didn't just whisper something that dirty. “We make a pretty good team.”
“Yeah ‘cause you did all the work,” you sulk.
You see the red digital writing flashing on the scoreboard, then his arms snake around to link across your lower stomach and pull you firmer against him. To anyone watching you look like a typical couple being affectionate, but the tension makes it feel the furthest thing from innocent.
"You know exactly what you're doing right now, Jisung Park," you huff, trying to control how flustered you feel, "We’re here to play games."
He presses a kiss to your cheek, before murmuring, "I am playing games. And so far I think I'm winning."
As he speaks he lets one of his hands slip down to graze over the front of your crotch, which he swears is an accident when you sternly say his name. But you can’t deny the way the touch made you jolt before he pulls away and steps back. You’d missed his touch — missed being with him like this.
But this was not the place. So you take his hand and turn the two of you to walk off like nothing happened.
The two of you continued to play a handful of arcade games. The classics, retro games, new games — Jisung had even managed to secure you a fluffy teddy bear from the claw game after you mentioned it being ‘impossible’.
You’d been taking it in turns to choose a game each, but when you mentioned the arcade photo booth, your boyfriend had started to get apprehensive.
After some of your amazing buttering up skills with puppy dog eyes, he agreed and he pulled the curtain back for you to get inside, then closes the door on the booth.
He sat down first on the small seat, and when you went to sit next to him he grabbed your waist and pulled you down onto his lap instead. He takes some coins from his pocket and starts putting them in the slot.
You try to get off his lap to sit beside him before the timer starts but he doesn’t let you.
“Just look at the camera and smile."
Once you hear the timer counting down the two of you start posing. But just before the last beep sounds, you get the idea to grab hold of Jisung’s face and let your lips mush against his cheek causing him to scrunch his nose up.
"That’s not fair," he says the second he hears the beeping start again.You stick your tongue out at him and his eyes narrow. “Fine, if that’s the game we’re playing.”
You both look back at the camera and offer smiles, kisses and peace signs. But at the last beep, Jisung gets the idea to move both of his hands to cup over your chest, groping your boobs.
Your mouth falls open as you gasp in shock while Jisung starts laughing.
You try to pull his hands away, "Okay fine, point taken mister grabby hands."
Jisung is practically giggling to himself, whilst you wait for the timer to start again.
“Alright alright, we'll take a serious one now.” He says, placing his chin on your shoulder, as you both look at the camera.
But once again, as the third beeping starts he quickly says, “Do you think people would notice if I made you cum while we're in here?"
Your body stiffens in shock as the picture is taken. Jisung is bursting with laughter and you're taken aback.
Jisung likes sex. He loves sex in fact — especially with you. But he never does this. Sure he teases you when you're out and about — how could he not when you’re so beautiful and perfect for him. But he’s never insinuated doing something so sexual in public like this before.
But here the two of you are. Waiting for the timer to start again, but this time you’re anticipating the shit he was going to pull when the final beep comes — and he does not disappoint. Because his hands slide up your legs, dipping into your inner thighs and squeezing them.
"Jisung," you warn him, "behave yourself."
The beeping starts again, but Jisung doesn't move his hands, and starts to massage his fingers higher.
When the last tick happens, he moves his face to press a kiss to your jaw, and you feel his breath hitting your skin from his nose.
He starts to inch your legs a bit further apart to let his thumbs graze over the crease where your thighs meet your pelvis.
“Ive missed you so fucking much baby,” he whines. “I need you so bad.”
“Jisung not here,” you sigh as his hands start working to warm up your skin.
“Why not? Wouldn’t you like the thought of me getting you off in here? Trying not to get caught?"
If his face wasn't so close to yours you wouldn't be able to hear him over the loud music in the arcade and how low his voice has gotten.
You give him a confused frown, thinking he surely can't be fucking serious but when you do he takes the opportunity to press his lips against you, kissing you while the camera snaps the last picture.
Your stomach is knotting along with your heart beating faster and you feel that familiar heat between your legs but you’d never tell him that — and he’d never tell you that he knows you keep it from him.
"Would you?" He asks again when he breaks the kiss.
You look at him like he's lost his mind. "You're joking right?" You can't be serious - Jisung people get their pictures taken in here, someone could walk in, you can't-"
He makes your words stop and your breath hitch in your throat as he moves his hand up under your skirt and cups his hand between your legs.
"That's not what I asked you," he says letting his eyes trace over your face, then leans closer, "Would you enjoy it?"
“Jisung, this is so unlike you, are you even hearing what you’re asking me?”
He moves his leg a bit and wedges his heel against the edge of the door so it can't be pulled open, "I know exactly what I’m asking you, so answer me."
"We’re supposed to be taking pictures, Sung,” you try changing the subject, and ignore the pressure of his hand pressed against you.
"Oh god we will," he says like it should be obvious.
And now you’re looking even more caught off guard.
“I'd fucking kill to have some pictures of you getting off. Have them to look at them whenever I’m needy and miss you.”
Jisung starts to massage the heel of his palm very slowly against you, adding more pressure over your underwear as you try to squeeze your legs closed but he holds them with his other hand to keep them apart.
"We can't-" it takes very fibre in your body to attempt to protest this, but you easily allow him to cut you off.
"Yes we fucking can," he has that sly look on his face, "But if you don't want to, we won't. It's up to you. Should I stop?"
You exhale a weak breath as he replaces the heel of his palm with his fingers dancing over your underwear, massaging slow circles that make your hips shift.
"Won’t people think it's weird if we're in here too long." you fumble over your words which makes Jisung smile while he bites on his lip.
"Don't worry I'll be quick," he says knowing you’re only making excuses instead of admitting what you really want.
Your eyes drift closed as you sigh, feeling his fingers move against you to create a friction that's only making the throb between your legs worsen. You have absolutely no common sense when it comes to this man and his fucking fingers.
"Should I stop?" He repeats in a low voice, moving his mouth to start to kiss along your jaw.
As usual with him, your functioning brain checks out while your subconscious takes over and you shake your head feeling your breathing start to go shallow.
"You want me to make you cum, yeah? Is that right baby?" His words are slightly muffled as he moves his free hand from your inner thigh and brushes your hair back over your shoulder so he can move his mouth to your neck, "I need words baby."
You should be rational and tell him to stop. But you don't. You wouldn’t dare. You didn’t want him to. So instead you say what you do want, and breathe out a quiet "yes."
Jisung’s own breathing is getting heavier, and the tension in this small enclosed space feels like it's compressing both of you closer together. When he hears your approval, his hand between your legs bunches up the front of your skirt. When he slips it up he snakes his hand over your stomach to push down into your underwear.
A faint groan echoes in Jisung’s throat the second his fingers feel your bare skin, exploring around your underwear to feel the slickness there.
"You’ve made a mess. Missed me this much, huh?” his voice is low, while he drags his warm lips up your neck.
You only manage to nod your head, your brain focused on squirming your hips to find some kind of friction again. He finally rests the pads of his fingers against your throbbing clit, starting to tease circles that force a quiet whimper out of you. Your eyes are still closed as excitement and neediness flood your nerves.
For doing something that should be wrong, it feels so damn right, and it's all you can think of. Feeling him is all you can think about.
"You sure I can take some pictures?" He checks, keeping his movements steady as your hips start to circle against his hand,
You don't respond at first—you can’t—too caught up in how this is feeling, and when he dips his fingers down to your pussy to collect more arousal on his fingers before moving back to your clit and applying more pressure, your head falls forward as you pant out a strained, "You - fuck, yes, you can."
He chuckles hearing how fucked out you are for him, and he’s only just started. But it’s when you hold onto the thigh he’s been using to pry your legs open that his eyes darken with need.
He keeps his fingers moving while he manages to get some coins he had in his pocket, reaching forward to put them into the coin slot, then pressing the button to start the timer.
When he relaxes back he applies a firmer pressure, and starts to massage your clit in quicker circles; making your mouth drop open with a gasped moan. You can barely hear the beep for the picture anymore, everything around you turning blurry, and all you can hear is your heart beat mixed your heavy breathing.
"That's it baby," he coos, with a gravel to his voice from the tension in it, "God I wish I could fuck you right now. I’ve been dying for it.”
Your skin is burning up, and all you can manage in response is the pants from your open mouth, desperately trying to keep yourself quiet.
You start to grind yourself against him as his fingers work, and feel the hard bulge forming in his pants underneath your ass.
He wasn't kidding when he said he'd be quick, he's already building the pressure in your lower belly, making your stomach muscles tighten, while he moves his fingers in the exact way he knows you love it.
That knot in your lower half tightens, and your legs start to tremble as a louder moan you can't stop comes out of your mouth.
"Fuck—Jisung," you whimper, with your chest starting to heave with rapid uneven breaths.
He only quickens his fingers driving with determination and speed, making sure to keep repeating the same movements that are getting the best reactions from you and when your head falls back as you moan again; his free hand comes up to cover your mouth.
"Shhhh—quiet, remember?" He hushes against your ear, groaning at the feeling of you grinding against him, "I know you wanna cum baby, but there’s no way I’m letting anyone else hear how you sound for me.”
All you can manage is a muffled "mhm" against his hand as your eyes squeeze tighter. That familiar sensation starts to ripple from your centre down your legs and into the rest of your limbs.
The orgasm is speeding towards you, faster than anticipated causing your back to arch up as your hips writhe. Your mind is foggy only able to make out quiet whispers of encouragement coming from Jisung.
As the release ripples through your body and your moans are muted against his hand, Jisung groans again, feeling you shake on top of him. He can’t help but snap his hand away to grasp at your jaw to turn your face and kiss you hard while you ride through your climax.
The kiss is mostly open lips grazing against each other, or trying to connect in messy motions with both of your laboured breathing mixing together. His fingers only pause when you try to pull yourself away from them.
Once your eyes drift open to see Jisung’s, the look in them makes you want to squeeze your legs together again if you could move them currently.
Jisung brings his hand up, and grazes his pointer and middle finger he just used to send your body into a frenzy against your lower lip as a silent request for you to open your mouth. You don’t deny it, taking them into your mouth to taste yourself.
“Fucking hell,” his eyes dart back and forth from your eyes to your mouth. His head rolls back against the wall behind you and he whines in the quiet, "God fucking help me."
Your body is still buzzing, floating down dazed from the high it was on, and you watch Jisung bite down on his lower lip as his brows knit tight together, as his hips shift beneath you.
"Everything okay, Sungie?" It’s the only thing your mushed brain can think of saying as you look down at his strained pants.
"Fuck no," he mumbles, looking like he's trying to compose himself, "But it’s my own fault. I suggested we do this. I’ll deal with myself later.”
"Later?" You ask.
Jisung lifts his head back up, leaning forward to press a kiss to your cheek as he rubs his palm up and down your thigh, "Yeah, later. When we get home and we watch that movie you promised me.”
He thinks you don’t know that he uses the movie thing as a code to fuck you — but you do know — and that’s why you’ve never protested when he puts on another one of those Harry Potter movies he loves.
"You sure you'll be able to wait that long?"
Jisung’s lips lift up at the corners, "I’ve waited weeks for this, I’m sure I can manage a couple more hours.”
He hugs you against him with his arms around your stomach, and back against his firm chest.
"But then again,” he begins “Now I have the memory of how fucking hot watching you get off in here was. That makes waiting like some kind of sick torture to me."
You let out a weak laugh, feeling your cheeks flush more than they already were, "I still can't believe we just did this."
"I can, and there's pictures to prove it," he smiles, pulling the strip of three black and white photos from the dispenser.
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requiemsystem · 4 months
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ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS
if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey
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