#at least let them do like. annual trips and visits

[samarecharm]

Festival time

[cutielando]

not so happy reunion | r.c.

synopsis: in which the reunion in the Cameron family is a disaster

my masterlist

From the moment you and Rafe got engaged, you had left the Outer Banks.

Not because you were keen on doing so, but because Rafe wanted to escape from the hold his family, specifically his father, had on him.

You moved into a beautiful mansion on the mainland, both of you had stable and high-paying jobs, so you were living comfortably.

You had also gotten married after a year and a half of moving, only with a few close friends, Wheezie, Sarah and your family. Per Rafe's request, Sarah and Wheezie hadn't told their parents why they were visiting the mainland, using the excuse of a much needed girls' trip.

Even though you had advised Rafe to at least let his family know about the wedding, he vehemently insisted that you didn't tell them anything, claiming he didn't want them to ruin his perfect day with you like they did everything else.

However, Ward didn't want to accept the fact that Rafe didn't want to have anything to do with him or his family anymore, hence always sending you an invitation to the annual Midsummers party.

Every single time, Rafe would come up with an excuse as to why you couldn't make it. You were either busy with your jobs, you were feeling under the weather, you missed your flight, the excuse range was very wide.

However, now that you were also pregnant with your first child, you figured it would be time to pay the old OBX a visit, for old times' sake.

Rafe, even though he agreed on your behalf, was very much not excited to be back.

"Have we got everything?" you were finishing up packing your bags, making sure you had put everything you would need for your 2 day stay.

"Do we really have to go?" Rafe asked from where he was sitting on your shared bed, pouting like a small child.

You sighed and chuckled, amused because he was still trying to convince you not to go when you were literally minutes away from leaving for the island.

"Baby, we haven't been back there in almost 3 years. Don't you think it's time we do go and show people we're still alive and happily together?" you moved your hands so they were resting on his shoulder, his eyes at a level with your growing bump.

He sighed and leaned forward to kiss your bump and cradle it in his hands.

"I don't want her to be in that environment" he mumbled, speaking about your unborn daughter.

The moment you had found out you were having a girl, Rafe couldn't stop dotting on you. He was so excited to have another little princess running around, a mini-you. He was doing everything to make sure he got the hang of it all, from reading books to taking some daddy-and-me classes, watching videos and grilling his co-workers about advice.

He was the most prepared father-to-be ever.

"Baby, everything is going to be fine. She's safe in there, nobody is going to do anything to her, or me, or you. We're just gonna see some old friends, have a little fun and try not to get into arguments with your father. We're leaving as soon as we can, okay?" you were running your hands through his hair, twirling his dirty blonde locks around your fingers.

He nodded and kissed your bump one last time before getting up, taking your bags and hauling them to your car.

The ride to the OBX was quiet, Rafe's hand consistently resting on your bump as he drove and yours resting on top of his.

As you observed Rafe for the whole ride, you noticed how much he started tensing up the closer  you got to the island, full on freaking out by the time he had parked his car.

"Okay, let's get this over with" he muttered as he got out of the car and jogged to your side, opening your door and taking your hand in his, interlocking your fingers.

You slowly made your way to the reception, more and more of your old friends recognizing you and stopping to chit chat.

At first, Rafe's hand was tightly holding yours tensely, but his grip slowly became more tender and less tense as he finally managed to calm down and enjoy seeing his friends.

"Rafe?" Ward's voice boomed through the party, making everyone around you stop to observe the interaction.

Rafe cursed under his breath but turned around, coming face to face with his father.

"Dad" Rafe nodded and said, his grip on your hand tightening slightly.

You started caressing the side of his hand with your thumb, trying to keep him grounded and calm.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, my boy" the man pulled his son into a tight hug, squeezing him like never before.

Rafe coughed and just patted his father on the back, one of his hands still linked with yours. You could only imagine how uncomfortable the situation was for your husband.

"And I see you brought your girlfriend as well" Ward said once his eyes fell on you.

"Wife, actually" you proudly corrected the man, your other hand now resting on your clearly visible bump.

Ward's eyes followed your hand and once he saw the wedding band on your hand holding your baby bump, his jaw went slack and he was at a loss of words.

Rafe cleared his throat and let go of your hand, instead opting to wrap his arm around your waist and pull your body flush against his.

"I can't believe this. Congratulations. When did this happen?" his voice was now back to his usual icy tone, surely figuring out the fact that he hadn't been invited to his son's wedding.

"Almost 1 year and a half ago. Found out we were expecting a couple of months ago" Rafe's gaze on his father hadn't let up.

Ward nodded, biting the inside of his cheek visibly.

"And you didn't think to invite your family?" he bit back.

"Wheezie and Sarah were there. The only family I needed with me" 

The music had now stopped, everyone concentrating on the brewing tension between the two Cameron men.

"What are we and Rose then? We raised you!" 

"With all due respect, you didn't do shit. You left him to fend for himself his entire life and didn't give a shit about his well-being because you were too obsessed with Sarah. You don't get to do that anymore. We didn't want you there because you didn't deserve to be there, just like you are never going to be a part of our child's life" you burst, not wanting to let Rafe deal with this by himself.

Ward's eyes widened as they shifted from his son to you. He had remembered you as the calculated one from the couple, always trying to keep the waters calm and Rafe under control. He didn't expect you to talk back to him like that.

"We're clearly not welcome here, so we're going to leave" Rafe said.

On your way out, you bid goodbyes to some of your friends and gave Ward one last look before getting into your car and driving away.

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be a good idea" you said once you had made it home, now safe and sound in the sheets of your bed with your husband.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. At least we managed to catch up with people before disaster struck" he teased, kissing your shoulder and hugging you from behind, his hands cradling your bump.

You laughed and settled in bed, drifting off to a peaceful sleep with the two most important people in your life: Rafe and your daughter.

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[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley) (Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 10: Haley's POV

“What are you looking for, Haley?” Alex questions me.

“Hm? What do you mean?” I retorted back. We are standing in our usual ‘Egg Festival spots’ which is at the other end of the town square and in the grass.

“You keep looking over there,” Alex points to the pathway leading west from town square.

“No I'm not.”

“Yes you are. I literally see you looking right now.”

“I think you’re seeing things, Alex.” 

“But-”

I turn and give him a frown before he can even begin the rest of his sentence. Instead, he begins a different sentence that I let him finish, “Are you waiting for Farm Girl Danny?”

“No! And don’t call her that! She is more than just a farm girl, Alex. She is also more than a personal comedian,” I cross my arms and daze off for a second, not realizing I am staring right at the pathway I said I wasn’t.

“Um… okay? Not just a farm girl and not just a… personal comedian… Got it,” Alex gives me a confused thumbs up. Sometimes I think there is just air inside his head, but I tolerate him. He has gone through a lot in his life and needs someone there for him. His grandparents took him in when his mom passed and dad walked out. Evelyn and George are very kind people and did a great job taking care of him through his life. He is very kind to both of them in return, and does a lot for them since they’ve gotten older. I love visiting their house and eating Evelyn’s wonderful cooking. However, they make a lot of leek salad for George which I’ve never figured out. Every meal he has to have either just a leek or a leek salad!

Alex wraps his arm around my torso, and I lean my head against his side. We’ve been on and off a lot as a couple. A couple years now at least. Sometimes, I’ve caught him cheating on me when we take trips into Zuzu city but I can never actually see who it is he is with and if she looks like me or not. That’s always the question. OR! He moans a different name when we have sex. Whoever ‘Taylor’ is. Other times he is just plain rude. I don’t know why I stick around though. I think it’s just a small town and I feel trapped. Another reason is I really do feel for him and understand all he has gone through.

Finally, not that I’m looking or anything, I see Danny come into sight over at the west pathway. I immediately stand up straight and stop leaning on Alex. He notices my reaction and moves his arm away, half expecting me to bolt over to her.

She is wearing those overalls she wore like 4 times when she first got here. She has on a purple shirt underneath that looks like it has yellow flowers on it. Perfect for the Egg Festival. Her chestnut brown hair under her cowboy hat has been chopped off though! It’s about shoulder length and shaggy. She no longer has the long braid that I thought was pretty cute on her. 

I reach for my own hair that I braided this morning for the occasion and start fiddling with it anxiously, unsure of what to do next. 

Everyone is crowding Danny as she enters town square. All talking to her, introducing themselves to her if she hasn’t met them already, and Vincent and Jas are hugging her legs. I can’t seem to peel my eyes away from them all. I feel a pang of jealousy rising in me.

“Do you want to go over there, too? Say hi?” Alex snaps me out of my trance.

“No. Let’s just stay here.” I continue watching from a distance. There is no need to go over there. She seems busy with everyone else anyway. That is until she looks my way. She raises her hand in the air as a hello gesture. From here, I can still see her bright, big, charming smile.

The crowd is still swarmed around her, but she is only focused on me. She doesn’t break her gaze after gesturing hello, but she doesn’t walk over here either. Instead, she finally turns to Mayor Lewis and nods her head.

“Everyone participating in the annual egg hunt, get into your positions!” Mayor Lewis announces.

“Eat dust guys. You all know I win every year,” I hear Abigail brag. Vincent and Jas look visibly upset as she says that. Danny noticed their reactions and started smirking.

“We’ll see about that,” Danny says to Abigail who is staring daggers at her.

“On your marks… get set… GO!” Mayor Lewis chants.

Sam, Elliot, Vincent, Penny, Jas, Abigail, Maru, Leah, and Danny all take off around the town.  Alex had walked over to his grandparents to socialize with them which I don’t blame him for. I’d do the same thing. I’m left standing around a couple bushes that I've noticed earlier had an egg hiding in them.

Danny is now grouped up with Vincent and Jas, helping them find eggs. They are laughing and playing around searching every area imaginable. Danny points out the eggs for them and they run over and throw them into their baskets. Danny hasn’t put a single egg in her own basket. 

The three of them get closer to me and I decide to speak up. 

“Pssst,” I whisper to them.

3 pairs of eyes make direct eye contact with me. I tilt my head in the direction of the bush that has the egg in it. Danny gently taps Jas to go over and get the egg. In a fit of giggles, Jas runs over.

“Thank you ma'am,” Jas politely thanks me.

“Yeah, thank you ma’am,” Danny smirks and tips her hat slightly at me. I immediately feel my face get warm. The short hair really suits her.

Danny doesn’t even realize the two kids took off looking for more eggs. She is too busy standing all high and mighty with her arms crossed, staring at me. I notice her look me up and down a couple times, and I feel my stomach lurch. 

“Look at you,” she takes a step and takes my long, blonde braid gently in her hand, “you look like a princess.” 

My face gets even warmer and I can only manage to stutter, “I-... ye-... uh-...”

“That’s time folks! Bring your eggs to me so I can count them!” Mayor Lewis announces across the town.

“See you around, princess,” Danny mutters before catching up to Jas and Vincent.

“Abigail with 8 eggs!” Let’s see if anyone can out do that this year!” Mayor Lewis calls out.

Everyone who knew they didn’t have over 8 eggs shyly backed down. However, Jas and Vincent went running over to Mayor Lewis with their baskets. Danny is standing proudly a couple feet behind them.

“Would you look at that! Jas AND Vincent with 10 eggs each! We have the winners folks! Here is your prize… sorry…we only have one,” Lewis says shamefully.

The two of them run over to Danny with their prize. It was a straw hat. They hand it up to her but she just takes it and places it playfully onto Vincent's head, purposely covering his eyes with the brim. She looks behind her and notices a daffodil growing from the ground. She bends over, picks it from its place, and hands it to Jas. However, there is still another daffodil growing in the same area and she picks that one too. She starts walking over to me.

“For you. For helping with finding an egg,” she sings as she hands me the daffodil.

I do a small gasp. “For me? Thank you!” but before I can take it out of her hands, she tucks it behind my ear.

“Matches your outfit,” she points out. I had totally forgotten I threw on a yellow and green sundress today. 

“Oh…yeah…you’re right,” I mumble while smoothing out my dress.

“Did you enjoy the Egg Festival?” Danny asks.

“This festival is alright... but what I'm really looking forward to is the Flower Dance.” I reply as I raise my shoulders and tilt my head.

“Ahhh the flower dance. When is that exactly?” 

“It’s on the 24th. You’ll be able to see it on the calendar at Pierre’s,” I pointed over to the wall of the store where the bulletin board is. Part of me wants her to look at the calendar so she knows it’s my birthday tomorrow.

“I guess I’ll have to look at that before I go home today, eh?” 

“You could.”

We stand around in awkward silence, neither of us knowing what to say next.

“Well I better get back home and keep working. I have to rack up some more money so I can expand my house and actually get a kitchen and a bedroom,” Danny chuckles, “I have nowhere to put my groceries… or all those ladies you think are in love with me,” she sneers jokingly.

“You need to forget I ever said that! I mean look at you, I don’t know who would ever love a big mutt like you,” I say a little meaner than intended. Danny’s face drops. I didn’t mean to say it! She seems easy to love and she isn’t a mutt! I don’t know why I just said that.

“You just had to ruin it. I have to go Haley,” Danny storms off to the west path and disappears. I’m left standing alone, holding my hand up to my mouth and choking back tears.

[kbrick]

Halloween/Release

Draco had called it The Pilgrimage. He was irreverent, even when talking about Harry’s annual Halloween trip to visit his parents' gravestones. Draco always made Harry feel more human, somehow, like he wasn’t a myth, like he was just a man, his life just a life, his tragedies his own, yes, but otherwise the same as everyone else’s.

Since he’d turned twenty-two, Harry’s visits to Godric's Hollow made him feel like a pioneer, of sorts. He was charting waters his father had never touched. His father had died at twenty-one. Harry had seen decades more than that. He continued to surge ahead with every sunrise, further and further from the man in the photographs that Sirius had left behind.

Harry had a smattering of white whiskers in his beard. He thought about that often, how his father would never have white in his beard, his hair.

When he was a boy, his father seemed like a grownup. Now that Harry was grown, his father seemed little more than a boy. He was frozen in time, encased in wavy glass, the outline of him well known to Harry, the details forever unclear.

The graveyard was the same as ever, silent and cold at this time of year. Harry’s coat was full of warming charms, his hands stuffed into thick mittens that Luna had knitted for him. One of them had an extra thumb. Draco used to shove his hand in the mitten with Harry’s, claiming Luna had made the extra thumb for him, so he could share.

Harry had lived long enough to have a multitude of regrets. Draco was the one that stung the most.

He wondered what his father had regretted, or whether it had all been taken away too soon, before his decisions could be weighed and judged.

He wondered, as ever (for so long now that it felt like a cliché), what his father would think of him, of the man standing here with a salt-and-pepper beard, thick mittens, and scars. He was forever worried about the opinions of the dead; it was a strange way to live.

He knelt in front of the stone. “I still don’t know what I’m doing,” he said quietly, his mitten tracing the J, the A. He laughed at himself. “Did you? Maybe you were better at this than I am. You got mum to marry you, after all. That was smart.” He sighed, lingering on the P. “It’s ridiculous that I still come to you for advice. You probably knew less about life than I do.”

He sat back on the frigid ground, listening to the wind rustling through the sunset-colored leaves that clung stubbornly to their branches. He missed Draco terribly. It had been six months, and the missing wasn’t getting any easier. Surely, it would. It had to.

“It’ll get easier, won’t it?” he asked his father. And then he realized it might not. Losing his parents never had, not really. Maybe it would always feel like this when he thought of Draco.

He shut his eyes and wondered why he couldn’t let go of anything. He couldn’t even let go of a thing he’d never had. He couldn’t stop his heart from clinging jealously to the legacy of a man he couldn’t even remember. Harry could call up images of his father easily, but they were all from photographs. It wasn’t really him. It was a mirage, a dream of a man who had once lived.

Harry was the spitting image of his father, or at least he had been twenty years ago. He was a father’s son who was old enough now to be his father’s father. He came here, year after year, to talk to the wind.

Nothing ever talked back.

“Tell me what to do,” he murmured. “Please.” He shut his eyes tighter, pleading with his father, with god, with whatever might be listening.

“He’d want you to be happy.”

Harry’s eyes flew open at the sound of Draco’s voice, and somehow, there he was, crouching nearby, his nose pink from the cold.

“What?” he managed.

“Your father. He wouldn’t care if you messed up sometimes, or whether you were exactly the sort of man he was. And he wouldn’t want you to wonder what he’d say every time you did anything. He’d just want you to be happy, Harry.”

Harry swallowed thickly. “Why are you here?”

“Because I knew you would be here. Now, come on, let’s get you somewhere warm. It’s freezing outside.”

Harry let Draco pull him to his feet, let him lead the way between stone markers and obelisks. And as he walked through the gates of the cemetery, he had the most profound sense of moving on, moving forward, of steering into uncharted waters.

His father was gone and had been for a long time. But Harry was still here, and he had a lot of life left to live.

[stagefullofentertainment]

Wishlist for Hazbin Hotel Season 1 (And Later)

With half year left till the series officially start (hopefully!), I would love to share my thoughts and opinions about what could happen in the story regarding characters and plot. They are all just my guesses and some wishes, headcanons if you will. Without further ado, let’s go!

CHARLIE

We have to start with the main character, don’t we?

Charlie being smarter than we all expect. Please, give a moment or situation where she outsmarts Alastor! Maybe another deal or bet?

Seeing more of her demon powers!

Charlie’s attempts to spread the news about the hotel and getting a couple of sinners who are willing to try it out, making them third plan characters.

Charlie and Vaggie being a sun and moon couple.

Flashbacks to Charlie’s teenage/early years living with her parents.

Charlie in the office doing manager/boss/director of this place paperwork. Unless she knows what she’s doing from similar previous experience or she’s been taught management and business, I expect to see her struggling with it. Some angsty moments when legal issues happen (at least, Hell’s equal of legal). I would love to see her parents give her advice or send her a professional to help with this. Speaking of which…

Screentime for Lucifer and Lilith! Perhaps a phone call or something small at first where they would actually interact with Charlie for starters. Oh! How about this? Somewhere near the end, like few episodes left till the season’s finale, we could see a shot where all Hell’s royalty attends an annual gala or some formal and regal event (perfect opportunity to make Paimon, Stolas, Asmodeus or another HB cameo). I’m imagining that someone from those royals could, in a mocking way, mention to Lucifer and Lilith that they probably are so proud of their daughter’s endeavors. (Charlie would not attend that event for it being too preposterous to her). Then we cut to Lucifer saying to Lilith “How about I pay our daughter a visit?”. After that, Lucifer would appear in the season finale, being one of the last shots. For instance, Charlie hears a knock on the hotel door and opens it, seeing her father, who smiles and says “Hello, Charlie” or something cooler that I cannot think in the moment. Then we cut to black and end the first season. That would not only be a great homage to Alastor’s arrival in the pilot but could stir some mystery. Will Lucifer accept Charlie’s intentions? Will he wish to close and demolish the hotel for making him seen pathetic in other demons’ eyes, hence the sin of pride? Did Lilith tell Charlie about Lucifer’s arrival beforehand? That would be answered in the start of season 2.

VAGGIE

Let us add the badass love interest who shines her own light.

Vaggie being in charge of the hotel more so than Charlie.

Seeing her fight and use her weapon capabilities.

Her being a protective gf while Charlie is oblivious, for example, moving a wire so that Charlie wouldn’t trip.

Vaggie constantly bickering with Angel and Alastor. As the season goes on, she finds it to be more fun than annoying.

Flashbacks to her live before death. What was her life, what did she do to be in Hell and how did she die?

Story of how she and Charlie met and fell in love with. Plus, what was she doing before the hotel?

ALASTOR

 My favourite overlord, what I have in store for you.

I want to see him making that Jambalaya!

Alastor being a corny/dad joke kind of guy throughout the whole season.

Seeing snippets of Alastor’s radio show.

Alastor’s development in compassion to Hazbin and it’s residents. Bit by bit, he would start to care about Charlie, Vaggie, Angel, Husk and Niffty (others not so much), catching himself in the middle of the season like “Goodness my! Why do I care if she’s sad?”. Then Alastor would heighten his guard up and become cold hearted, similar to pilot. Perhaps he would make some sort of terrible decision regarding hotel or Charlie which he would regret by the end of the season.

Him and Vox making fun of each other, having little battles here and there, their score being equal.

Seeing more musical numbers from him!

Seeing Alastor struggle with modern media references. Could be a gag about someone mentioning something like “Instagram, Iron Man, Twilight” and so on while Alastor pretends that he understands it/doesn’t care. Imagine explaining Twilight to him…

Flashbacks to his live before death. Why did he become a murderer, what was his family like (importance of mother), how he found his passion for radio?

ANGEL

Well, here we have a comedic yet tragic character to discuss.

His whole season arc could be about chilling in Hazbin while still being under Valentino’s control. With each episode, he would have a harder and harder time between choosing Hazbin (new friends, possible redemption and zero need to be over sexual) and Valentino (job and setting that he’s familiar with, some sort of fame, no need to change himself). By the end of the season, Angel would be at a crossroad of which path to embrace now.

Flashbacks to Angel’s live before death. Was he that involved with sex, did he have a partner, what was his family like?

I would love to see Angel teasing Alastor about all kinds of dirty stuff and surviving. The whole season he would remark on various sexual topics while Alastor can’t kill him because he promised that to Charlie. Seeing Alastor freeze or blush would be a highlight not only to him but to us.

Angel being a fashion icon. “Girl, those earrings with that top? No no no, we need to change those”.

Angel being besties with Cherri.

Seeing Angel’s alone moments when his “funny, dirty, charming” façade drops and he struggles with his life decisions.

Although he died only about 10 years later than Al, he would know all the up-to-date pop culture/media references, usually being the one to make them.

MISCELLANEOUS

Category where I decided to put characters that I don’t have much to say…yet!

Would love to see the reason why Husk and Niffty are in debt to Alastor. (Plus, how many poor souls like those two are there?)

Husk being a grumpy father figure to all. (I think he is supposed to be older than all of them, besides Charlie, in years?)

Niffty being a happy go lucky clean freak.

All of Cherri’s backstory, how did she befriend Angel.

Sir Pentious’s development from cartoony villain to an ally of Hazbin.  

Seeing more of Hell’s TV, Internet and apps.

Seeing Hell’s live from different kinds of livers there (sinners, overlords, royalty).

Learning more about Heaven, the percentage of goodness to be accepted there, how do angels work.

Seeing Vox, Valentino and Velvet in action and their powers.

Overall, exploring new locations.

That’s all, folks! A share of my hopes for the series. If you would like, I could make more parts in the future. Of course, I would love to hear your thoughts! Have a fantastic day, my friend!

[callunavulgari]

Year-in-life | 2022

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. 2022 features: wedding planning stress, 3 (?!) different vacations, and probably a little too much backsliding.

1. What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before? Attempted to plan a wedding! Saw four out of five of the Great Lakes (RIP Lake Ontario)! Saw New York City! Went to Florida! Rode the subway! Had engagement pictures done! Went on a ten mile hike (and didn’t die)! Saw Florence freaking Welch in person!! Got a tattoo in a different state!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My resolutions for 2022 were to lose weight, get healthier, expand on the outlines I produced, and be happy. I have failed at... almost all of these things. There has been some happiness, though, I am happy to report.

Resolutions for 2023 - you know what, since next year is the wedding, let’s not jinx it and just have the goal of being happy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! One of my bridesmaids had the sweetest little girl a little over a month ago.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Not this year. 

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? Alas, no countries. We did go on three (?!) trips this year though: a surprise trip to Florida in April because Nick’s grandmother wanted us to visit their condo which I’d never seen, our planned trip backpacking around Mackinac Island and Michigan’s upper peninsula, and a surprise trip to NYC at the beginning of this month. Of the three trips, the Michigan trip was definitely my favorite. 

We stayed in Mackinac Island for a few days and hiked around, ate some fudge, smelled some horse piss, then we went up to Munising to hike at Pictured Rocks, stopping in at a couple different waterfalls along the way. From there we ended up in Traverse City, then Frankenmuth on the way back. And then! A week later! We were back in Michigan to see Florence Welch and concert. Divine experience, 10 out of 10, would simp again.

6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022? Hm, in 2021 my answer to this question was “a marriage” which did get delayed, but is at the very least on track. I... think my answer is going to be the same this year? I would like to have a husband this time next year.

7. What date from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I... honestly don’t think that any of them stand out. It was a very in-between sort of year. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I survived. It was a hard year. Not all of it, granted, and it was better than 2021, and leagues better than 2022, but. Still hard. I’m still tired. I desperately want to quit my job. I didn’t have any medical procedure done this year, which is the first year I haven’t had some kind of surgery since 2017-2018.

9. What was your biggest failure? Technically not keeping the weight off was the biggest failure, but I’m not holding it against myself. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not... yet? I have like a week left, so hopefully that holds true.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Hm, most of my money this year went to tattoos. I may have gone slightly overboard. I am slowing down. But I do love them so! 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My own, always. But also, Nick’s. He has been just... the absolute best person these last two years. It’s been so hard, but he has helped so much. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know. I’m close to not inviting my mother to my wedding, so her, I guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Tattoooooooos. God, way too much money. Like on one hand, yes, I am making up for not having any spending money to give myself the things I wanted in my twenties, but on the other hand... holy shit, I have spent too much money on tattoos. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Tattoos. The Florence concert. The Michigan trip. The new God of War and Horizon games.

16. What song will always remind you of 2022? To Be Human. Foundations of Decay. The Encanto soundtrack. Florence’s Dance Fever, but King in particular. The Spiritfarer and Hollow Knight soundtracks. This Is a Life. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Technically speaking, compared to this exact time last year, I am sadder. But this year I have been happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter. iii. richer or poorer? Eh, maybe a little richer? I’m not obscenely broke and I remember being obscenely broke until like February last year. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I’d done better. With my mental health, mostly? I spent a whole lot of this year suffering from some really intense anxiety. Been having a lot of heart palpitations, which are either from the anxiety or lingering covid issues (or both.) I just wish that I’d taken better care of myself, and hope that I’ve taken care of myself better next year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Moping? Grieving? Hiding in my apartment?

20. How will you be spending Christmas? For Christmas Eve tomorrow we are probably going to stay in, play some games, maybe watch a Christmas movie or two, and then make pirozki. For Christmas Day the plan is to drive to Nick’s aunt’s house and have Christmas with his family, but with windchill it is -30 outside, so we’ll see.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Honestly? I’m not sure. We’ve been invited to a warehouse party of all things, but we are old and set in our ways, so there is a very high chance that we will just stay in. 22. Did you fall in love in 2022? I’m marrying him next year!!!! 23. Best month for you this year? End of August/early September was amazing, mostly because of the trip. <This was my answer last year, but it still holds true. 

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2022? Hm, Station Eleven, Our Flag Means Death, What We Do In the Shadows, Stranger Things s4, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Paper Girls, The Sandman, House of the Dragon, Rings of Power, and Love Between Fairy and Devil were my top shows this year. I think my absolute favorite was probably The Sandman, with Our Flag Means Death as the runner up.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think I have enough energy for hate at this point. I’m just tired.

26. What was the best book you read? Absolute favorite was A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers. After that, probably Nona the Ninth, The Golden Enclaves, A Priory of the Orange Tree, Nettle and Bone, and Summer Sons, likely in abouts that order.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? MCR. released. a. new. single. MCR RELEASED A NEW SINGLE!!!!! 

28. What did you want and got? Um. A lot of tattoos. To put this into perspective... since last September I have gotten eight. It is, in fact, a problem. I am here on out restricting myself to only one a year, maybe two if the second one is something small.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? I do still wish that Mal were here. 

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I actually didn’t watch a lot of new movies this year. I rewatched various Lord of the Rings movies about five times this year, but so few new ones. I think maybe Wendell and Wild.

ETA: What the flying fuck am I THINKING, I watched Everything Everywhere All At Once this year, which is my favorite film this fucking DECADE. Watch it, if you haven’t yet.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I actually had a fairly horrible day. I had to work for the first time in four+ years and I was covering for a co-worker so it was very busy and very stressful. Nick didn’t get me a gift which I? Shouldn’t be upset about? But I kind of am. And then his company Christmas party was scheduled on my birthday at a restaurant that I hated, which COULD have been awful, but actually ended up saving the day because I got to geek out with one of his coworkers about books. 

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Mal. Still. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022? I mean... comfy? I started a hybrid work from home schedule so I actually wear my pajamas more than ever now. Considering upgrading to some really good ones since I’m in them so often. I bought a REALLY gorgeous warm red lipstick though, and bought this really pretty white dress, and EARRINGS that are SWORDS. So. That’s cool. 34. What kept you sane? Nick, usually. Rigby has been a huge help too. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don’t know. I’m rewatching Fellowship though and spoilers, I’m still hot for Cate Blanchett. Oh oh oh! Gwendoline Christie! She is just. So much. Gorgeous. Intimidating. 10 out of 10, would call her mommy. Also, seeing Florence live was a magical experience and did awake something in me. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? I have had “fuck Donald Trump” as the answer to this question since 2015. And for the first time in half a decade… it’s not him. It’s all the problems he left behind. So I guess it is still at least a LITTLe bit “FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2022″

37. Who did you miss? Mal. Also? My dad?  38. Who was the best new person you met? I mean, she’s not really NEW but I got to know one of Nick’s coworkers better. She’s SO nice and really cool and I want to be her friend. I actually got her number this time though, so hopefully we’ll actually hang out.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: I mean, I’d like to say the ice is broken enough to consider her a friend, but we’ll see. 

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year: From February, I don’t think I have anything earlier, Please ignore the silly pose, lol, I was going out that night and if I remember right, already pre-gaming a little.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year From December 15th - we’re experimenting with red glosses for the wedding to brighten up my natural color and this was the result. My hair is so long!

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Definitely the meal we had in Little Italy! I had a passionfruit martini that was literally the best drink I’d had in my life, then veal parmigiana, and the best tiramisu I’ve had since I was in Italy.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I actually think it might have been the Florence concert. Every vacation was obviously good in different ways, but seeing her in concert made me realize why people DO concerts. I’d never really understood before.

44. What are you excited for next year? Wedding! Also nervous about it! But also excited! It makes me want to puke!

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022: My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020 was: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted.

And you know what, I’m going to keep that. I think it’s a good reminder.

46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: to be human, i want direction i wanna feel human again - To Be Human, Marina

2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me quoted This Year, because she was a dramatic bitch and hurting. 2021 me quoted an assurance that I wasn’t broken.

2022 me is just tired. Tired of being strong. I want to feel normal again.

[pcttrailsidereader]

Thanks giving and taking

We are fast approaching the holidays for 2022. These are times for reflection and consideration. I am sitting in the warmth of my home with the wind blowing outside and a threat of an autumn rain falling. This seems like the perfect time and place to reflect and consider these past months. As it happens I am happy not to be sitting in a tent, tucked into my sleeping bag and doing this. Interestingly, when I am in a tent and tucked into my sleeping bag I am often thinking about where I have been, where I am, and where I am going next. Those days are usually warmer and the nights cool but not super cold like they are right now.

Reflecting on the last year a few thoughts come to mind. First, it has been great to get outdoors. Even if it wasn't on the Pacific Crest Trail, simply getting outside has provided many benefits. Being in nature has given us the opportunity to connect with family and friends. Being outside reminds me of the beauty that I don't have to go very far to appreciate. You probably don't have to go too far either when you think about it.

Secondly, reflect on the year just passing. Looking back is a reminder of the experiences that made for great memories. Upon reflection the opportunity presents itself to note worthwhile achievements and celebrate them. Even if the celebration was in the past why not celebrate again. After all, it was a worthwhile achievement. If nothing else it will most likely bring a smile to your face one more time.

Finally, now is a great time to begin planning for the year ahead. With friends and family begin considering some adventures you can share together. Take time to dream a little and begin setting some goals. Imagine some trips, sections, or new hikes in new places. Make the commitment to at least re-visit these thoughts and goals and if you feel especially committed see them through in the year just ahead.

If it hasn't happened already, the holiday season will take on its annual momentum and before we know it 2022 will fade and 2023 will be staring us all in the face. New expectations and commitments will crowd in. Take a little time now to focus on this past year and let it be a guide for the year ahead. That is what I am going to do.

[lopezletmebe]

Inevitable Failure

There is something about my co-parent supervising visitation that never sat well with me.

Maybe it's the fact that I truly perceived our relationship as a cycle of domestic abuse, him being the perpetrator.

Don't get me wrong, I have mental pathways that don't allow me to be fully emotionally available to what feels like danger.

It's dangerous, to live paycheck to paycheck as a parent of many children and it's even more dangerous, to never gain the fortitude to want to be better every single year.

Or it could be the fact that he has initiated sex many times which I felt obligated to give in to time and time again- at first it was because I actually really missed him and it and then it became a pattern of when I give in, I get more time with my kids.

What woman who longs for her children every single day wouldn't give in just to find out how it turns out, right?

Giving in became a natural thing and by no means did I really honestly think that we could reconcile because I've let it be known already- if it were to happen I would literally lose everything that I worked so hard to obtain and maintain over the last year within the first three to four months.

I feel like I live by it now and I will continue to do so. I've avoided being coerced into sexual activities to get more time with my kids just recently and it led to our St. Louis Zoo trip being canceled.

I've discontinued treating my body like a payment method and that quite possibly could be the result of paying a full-grown man that has been to active war twice, $1441 a month which was also first paid in full on our 4th wedding anniversary.

Listen here fellers and yellers, I do things with great purpose and may have sabotaged my relationship but buddy all you had to do was listen and get with the literal written-down program. My OCD ass doesn't allow me to have income without a written-down fixed budget to move my life forward in some way along the way.

The purpose of paying my child support in full on my 4th anniversary was first, since it was the first day after checking with the courts for at least 20 days but I also wanted to mark it as the last thing to tie me to him.

He can no longer ask me for any more assistance or to share my body, mind, and soul with him.

I gave more than enough of myself to try and create a good life with a man that I saw true potential in and that man just doesn't see the same potential in himself and carries too many insecurities from past adultery that I have nothing to do with.

It'll always be truly beyond me how my annual child support payment of about $17,000 will equal the balance he back owed in his child support- for his son to his ex wife that he continuously dodges left and right- when I first started to panic that I may have to figure out life all by myself with three sweet young babies because any day this man can be charged in contempt of court for his overdue child support. Yes, I said he dodged it.

And the last time was the last straw. He quit his last job for no solid reason and I was done for good.

I lost it internally. I truly believe I was not in the right state of mind when I said what I said to him over the phone while I put-together quesadillas and black beans for my munchkins. At least at that time, I know that I was selfishly only considering my own feelings as I got screamed at over the phone. But in hind sight, I can understand that my children may be confused by what they could have overheard from the other room- yet my actions towards my babies were kind and generous(feeding them their favorite lunch).

My actions weren't matching the words he kept saying to me over and over which made me feel like repeating it to him would make it stop.

No hunnies, instead the frantic man started saying that he would catch a ride home to save his kids from a delusion he created while I fed our sweet small children a balanced meal that I enjoyed with them through tears from fighting him to please stay at work. "We're finally getting out of the lower poverty line."

Failure of my marriage was inevitable and I saw it then and I went through with it knowing it and now I pay a hefty price but I can truly say that I live a modest and humble life.

I make good money but I have a beautiful grown woman who has been completely neglected by everyone and herself over the last few years, to take care of. First things first, my boudoir shoot in December..

I was never celebrated as a girlfriend, wife, mother, or mother, so I'm going to celebrate myself as a 30-year-old woman with prominent abs because keeping my mind on my own mind, body, and soul has helped to gain a level of respect for myself that I will never allow to dissipate.

[petnews2day]

How Often Should I Take My Dog To The Vet? – Forbes Advisor

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-industry-news/pet-financial-news/how-often-should-i-take-my-dog-to-the-vet-forbes-advisor/

How Often Should I Take My Dog To The Vet? – Forbes Advisor

Editorial Note: We earn a commission from partner links on Forbes Advisor. Commissions do not affect our editors’ opinions or evaluations.

You should take your dog to the vet at least once a year for a check-up. Even if you neglect your own health by skipping annual physicals, you shouldn’t subject your dog to the same treatment. They depend on you to make good decisions about their care.

How Often Should I Take My Adult Dog to the Vet for a Checkup?

Healthy adult dogs should generally visit a veterinary clinic about once a year for checkups, vaccinations and other preventative care. Because dogs age faster than humans, annual appointments are vital to help them remain healthy and prevent diseases.

Of course, dogs with health issues may need to be monitored closely by a veterinarian, requiring more frequent appointments. Also, your dog may need additional vet visits based on risks where you live. For instance, they made need more frequent visits for Lyme disease tests if you live in an where ticks are common.

How Often Should I Take My Puppy to the Vet?

Two to three weeks old

During your puppy’s first checkup, the vet will:

Check the puppy’s overall health

Give the puppy dewormer medication

Six to eight weeks old

Take your puppy back to the vet to receive:

First vaccinations

Heartworm medications

Flea and tick preventative treatments

Microchip

Up to six months old

Your puppy may need additional vet appointments to get vaccinations at 12 and 16 weeks of age. The vet may also recommend bringing the pup back a few times in between vaccinations for wellness appointments.

How Often Should I Take My Senior Dog to the Vet?

Just like puppies and younger adult dogs, older dogs need to see a veterinarian regularly to stay healthy. Most will need certain vaccinations every year or two and should have blood and urine tests done annually to check for common canine diseases, like diabetes and thyroid disease.

Very mature dogs sometimes exhibit behavior that indicates they need an extra vet checkup. For example, if they suddenly increase their water intake, begin peeing more, lose weight, become disoriented, startle easily or show other unusual changes, you should consider taking them to the vet. These signs could indicate the onset of diabetes, kidney disease, thyroid disease, heart disease, osteoarthritis or other illnesses.

How Often Should I Take My Pregnant Dog to the Vet?

First, you should know that it’s best to let a female dog have a couple of heat cycles before breeding them. After cycling a few times, she’ll be more physically mature and will likely be a better mother to her pups.

It’s also important to breed responsibly, taking into consideration the costs involved as well as the health of the potential mother and offspring. Breeding should not be entered into just for fun or to generate income. Talk to a veterinarian first.

When you suspect your dog is pregnant, set up a prenatal appointment. Your vet can advise you on how best to meet the nutritional needs of your pregnant dog and schedule any follow-up visits. Ultrasounds are usually done around the four-week mark, and gestation is typically around 63 days.

When Should I Take My Dog to the Vet Immediately?

Since dogs can’t talk, it’s often difficult to know when to treat them yourself and when a trip to the vet is in order. Some minor emergencies can be treated at home, but if you’re unsure of what to do, you could try calling your vet for advice.

If you have pet insurance, one of your benefits might be access to a 24/7 vet hotline, and that’s another place you could turn for help.

That said, if there’s a threat of imminent death or severe injury, it might be better to transport your dog to the closest emergency vet clinic as soon as possible.

Regardless of the situation, it’s best to keep your dog, and yourself, as calm as possible. If you do take your pet to a veterinary clinic, consider muzzling them first for everyone’s safety.

Some of the emergency situations that could require a trip to the vet include:

Vomiting or diarrhea for more than six to 12 hours

Bloody stools

Collapse

Breathing difficulties

Weak or fast pulse

Drop or rise in body temperature

Difficulty walking or standing

Loss of consciousness

Seizures

If you think your dog may have been poisoned, call your veterinarian immediately or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center’s 24-hour hotline at (888) 426-4435.

Can Pet Insurance Pay for Vet Visits?

Besides being busy and possibly not knowing which vet to choose, cost is one of the biggest reasons you might put off an appointment with the veterinarian. Having pet insurance might help alleviate your fears about discovering an expensive problem at a routine visit.

How much could you afford to spend on your pet if they had an expensive accident or illness? Would a $5,000 or $10,000 vet bill be a major financial setback? What about $2,400 a year in medication for a chronic illness? If bills like these would send you into credit card debt or prevent you from saving for retirement, you’re not alone, according to a recent Forbes Advisor survey of dog owners.

31% of dog owners say they can’t afford up to $2,000 in vet bills, even if the treatment could extend or potentially save their dog’s life.

65% say they can’t afford vet bills under $5,000.

The best pet insurance can help lower your out-of-pocket costs for unexpected vet bills if your dog gets hurt or sick. Some policies even help with routine care so annual physicals and vaccinations are easier to pay for.

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Maximum annual coverage

$5,000, $8,000, $10,000, $15,000, $30,000

Reimbursement choices

70%, 80%, 90%

Deductible choices

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Maximum annual coverage

$5,000 or Unlimited

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Maximum annual coverage

$5,000, $10,000, Unlimited

Reimbursement choices

70%, 80%, 90%, 100%

Deductible choices

Varies by pet age

What Does Pet Insurance Cover?

There are three main types of pet insurance plans. Here’s what they cover.

Accident and illness plans

Most U.S. pet owners choose accident and illness plans for their pet insurance needs. These plans cover things like surgery for intestinal obstructions when your dog eats your kid’s toys and insulin injections if your canine gets diabetes.

These plans don’t cover pre-existing conditions, grooming, routine exam fees and other types of preventive care, like pet dental cleanings.

Accident-only plans

Accident-only plans will cover medical expenses if your dog gets bitten by a wild animal or ingests window cleaner. But they won’t cover treatment for thyroid disease or urinary tract infections. You can expect to pay less for these plans since they don’t cover illnesses.

Wellness and routine care plans

These plans are better thought of as discount plans. Some pet insurance companies offer them as an add-on to accident and illness plans. Since routine care costs are predictable and not potentially catastrophic to your budget, the main benefit of wellness and routine care plans is helping you smooth out your monthly pet care expenses.

Having this coverage might also encourage you to get regular check-ups for your dog, since you’re already putting money toward them.

How Does Pet Insurance Work?

Pet insurance is sort of like human health insurance. It has an annual deductible, and you get reimbursed for a certain percentage of covered pet care expenses after meeting your deductible, up to the annual maximum. But some things work a little differently.

Deductible

Your pet insurance deductible is how much you’ll pay out of pocket on covered costs each year before your pet insurance covers anything. Your plan will have one of these two types of deductibles.

Annual deductible:

You have one deductible per policy year (not calendar year).

Annual deductibles can range from $0 to $1,000.

The lower the deductible you choose, the higher your premiums.

Per-condition or per-incident deductible:

You have a separate deductible for each incident or condition your pet is treated for.

If your dog is being treated for multiple conditions, you could have multiple deductibles per policy year.

Reimbursement percentage

Once you’ve met the deductible, your pet insurance company will reimburse you for 50%, 60%, 70%, 80%, 90%, or even 100% of your claims (minus any copay you’re responsible for). You’ll pick a reimbursement percentage when you enroll. The higher your reimbursement percentage, the higher your premiums will be.

Annual maximum

Some pet insurance companies limit how much they will pay toward your pet’s covered expenses each year. Limits can range from $5,000 to $100,000. Other companies, like Pets Best, Figo, ManyPets and Spot, offer unlimited coverage.

Compare pet insurance quotes to see how different choices can make your monthly premiums affordable.

How Much Does Pet Insurance Cost?

Pet insurance for dogs ranges from $20 to $44 per month, according to a Forbes Advisor analysis of rates.

The cost of pet insurance will depend on several factors:

Insurance company

Location

Annual maximum

Deductible

Reimbursement percentage

Type of coverage

Breed

Pet age

Overall, the average monthly cost of pet insurance with a $250 deductible, 90% reimbursement level and a $5,000 annual limit is:

$34 for puppies

$35 for dogs

While $5,000 is a relatively low annual limit, the best cheap pet insurance may be better than none at all.

Find The Best Pet Insurance Companies Of 2022

[sfarticles]

Pour It on Thick...Maple Syrup Continues to Stand as a Fall Favorite

Popular Fall favorites have been my theme recently; pumpkins followed by apples. To continue the fall flavor roundup, let’s talk maple syrup.

When you hear the words “maple syrup,” what comes to mind? Probably pancakes or waffles drizzled with maple syrup or, perhaps, the maple leaf bottle, tan jug, or can, in which it is packaged. What we are not talking about here is the high-fructose, corn-syrup-laden product with artificial coloring and many other unappetizing ingredients. I don’t know why some think it is the real thing, or worse yet, think it tastes like pure maple syrup. I am embarrassed to say that when my parents pick me up at the airport on my visits to the Sunshine State each winter, they request sugar-free “pancake syrup” when we stop at one of those 24-hour pancake houses; just about the only restaurants open late at night. At those inexpensive prices, it sure isn’t real syrup they serve.

Although March typically is the peak of maple syrup production in the United States and Canada, it is fall when we begin to think about the upcoming holidays and recipes using the delicious syrup. During maple sugaring season, the sap starts to flow and sugar makers begin making the year’s crop of syrup with its subtle bouquet and complex flavors that set it apart from all other sweeteners. If you haven’t tasted pure maple syrup, chances are, you won’t go back to pancake syrup, once you do. I’m still trying to convert my parents — though mom is more concerned about calories than taste.

You’ll have to wait until the next sugaring season when many of the producers in the Northern United States and Canada (the only regions in the world where maple syrup is made), welcome visitors, allowing them to learn about the process, taste and purchase pure maple syrup and other maple products. It might be surprising to learn that according to the North American Maple Syrup Council, from 2019 through 2021 there were 680,000-740,000 working taps in trees in Pennsylvania producing 157,000-178,000 gallons of syrup annually. https://bit.ly/3sOys4I

Pennsylvania has its share of maple sugaring festivities, too. Here are a few to check out for a fun winter activity in 2023. Please confirm times and dates.

Annual tree tapping ceremony (last Saturday in February) Hyndman, PA Somerset County Maple Producers - Tree Tapping

Maple Sugaring at Peter Wentz Farmstead, Lansdale 610-584-5104

Maple Sugar Saturday at Pennypack, Philadelphia   215-685-0470 or e-mail Pec@phila.gov

Maple Sugaring Festival at Cobb’s Creek, Philadelphia (215) 685-1900

Maple Harvest Festival & Pancake Breakfast at Penn State, Petersburg, (March 25-26, 2023, 10:30 am-3:30 pm) https://bit.ly/2CrHpXO

Pennsylvania’s “Tapped: A Maple Trail https://bit.ly/3DPBz2k

 Maple Syrup 101:

·      It takes roughly 40 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon of maple syrup.

·      It comes in several color-based grades.

·      Quebec, Canada, is the largest producer of maple syrup, producing about three-quarters of the world’s output.

·      Vermont is the largest producer in the United States, generating about 5.5 percent of the global supply, followed by New York and Maine.

·      A maple tree is usually at least 30 years old and 12 inches in diameter before it is tapped.

·      Alfred University offered a maple syrup course where students discussed “everything” maple syrup including cooking with the syrup. They went on field trips to local producers, restaurants, and festivals.

·      Use maple syrup to sweeten your coffee or tea. It is packed with antioxidants and minerals.

·      Breweries are using maple syrup as an ingredient to create beer.

·      According to Wikipedia, “maple syrup was first made by the Indigenous peoples of North America.”

 I was delighted to add another single subject cookbook to my collection, “Maple Syrup: 40 Tried & True Recipes,” by Corrine Kozlak (2020, Adventure Publications, $16.95). https://bit.ly/3sOYSTR

This versatile ingredient goes beyond simply putting it on flapjacks as shown by Kozlak’s recipes. Before getting to the recipes, she gives a brief history of maple syrup, and discusses how it is made and graded. And, if you have access to a maple tree that is at least 12 inches in diameter, the “Do-It-Yourself Maple Syruping or Backyard Sugaring” pages tell you what equipment you will need, when and how to tap the trees, as well as how the sap is made into syrup. The maple syrup cooking tips will come in handy. For the recipe for Carrot Cake with Maple Syrup Frosting, visit bit.ly/307abZp

Maple-Basted Roasted Turkey Breast

 The headnote says, “This is really good when you are hungry for roast turkey but don’t want to make a whole bird. I serve this with Company’s Coming Salad (page 78) and Maple-Bacon Brussels Sprouts (recipe below) for a delicious maple-flavored meal.”

Turkey

1 cup water or apple juice

1 (7- to 8-pound) whole bone-in turkey breast*

Salt, to taste

½  apple, cut in half

½  onion, peeled and quartered

1 stalk celery, halved

1 sprig fresh rosemary

1 sprig fresh thyme

 Glaze

½ cup butter

½ cup maple syrup

 Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a shallow roasting pan with aluminum foil. Pour 1 cup water or apple juice in bottom of pan.

To make turkey breast, rinse with cold water, pat dry and sprinkle cavity with salt. Place turkey upright in pan, and stuff cavity with apple, onion, celery, rosemary and thyme.

To make glaze, melt butter with maple syrup in a small saucepan over low heat. Pour over turkey to coat.

Roast turkey 2 to 2 ½ hours, basting with pan juices as desired, until an instant-read thermometer registers 175-180 degrees.

Let turkey rest 20 minutes before slicing. Heat pan juices and pour over sliced meat. Serve hot. Makes 6-8 servings.

*This recipe can be used for a whole turkey as well; increase ingredients as needed.

Maple-Bacon Brussels Sprouts

 The headnote says, “This recipe will turn any Brussels sprouts hater into a Brussels sprouts lover. Be careful not to burn them.”

1-1 ¼ pounds Brussels sprouts, stemmed and cut in half lengthwise or sliced thin

4 slices bacon, cut into ½ -inch pieces

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons maple syrup

Salt and pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place Brussels sprouts in a shallow roasting pan; top evenly with bacon pieces. Drizzle with olive oil and maple syrup and stir to coat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast 20 minutes or until sprouts are cooked and caramelized, stirring after 10 minutes. Makes 4-6 servings.

Maple-Roasted Root Vegetables

 The headnote says, “Oven-roasting brings out the best in these vegetables, while maple syrup adds just the right amount of sweetness.”

3 medium-size carrots, peeled, halved, and cut into 3- to 4-inch pieces

3 medium-size parsnips, peeled, halved, and cut in to 3- to 4-inch pieces

1 turnip, peeled, halved, and cut into slivers

½ cup maple syrup

4 tablespoons butter

�� cup bourbon or rum

1 ½ teaspoons salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven 350 degrees.

Arrange carrots, parsnips and turnip in a shallow roasting pan.

Heat maple syrup and butter in a small saucepan over medium-low heat until butter is melted; remove from heat, and stir in bourbon. Pour syrup mixture over vegetables and stir to coat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Bake, covered with aluminum foil, 25 minutes. Uncover; stir and bake 25 additional minutes or until tender. Makes 6 servings.

Maple-Frosted Pumpkin Muffins

 The headnote says, “Pumpkin and maple marry well. Every year, the flavor of pumpkin signals the beginning of fall.”

Muffins

1 cup whole-wheat flour

¾  cup unbleached all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon cloves

½ teaspoon cinnamon

½ teaspoon nutmeg

¼ teaspoon salt

6 tablespoons granulated sugar

1 cup pumpkin puree

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1/4 cup maple syrup

1 ½  tablespoons milk

2 eggs

 Glaze

3 tablespoons butter

1/3 cup maple syrup

¼ teaspoon maple extract

¾ cup powdered sugar

Garnish (optional) pumpkin seeds

 Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease muffin pans.

To make muffins, sift together whole-wheat flour and next 8 ingredients in a large bowl. Make a well in center of mixture. In a large glass measuring cup, beat together pumpkin, oil, ¼ cup maple syrup, milk, and eggs. Pour pumpkin mixture into well of flour mixture and gently combine. Scoop batter into prepared muffin cups, filling ¾ full. Bake 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool.

To make glaze, melt butter over medium heat in a medium saucepan; whisk in 1/3 cup maple syrup. Bring to a boil and cook, stirring constantly, 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in maple extract. Sift in powdered sugar, and whisk until smooth and slightly thick; drizzle onto muffins. Garnish, if desired. Makes 10 muffins.

Maple Leaf Cocktail

 The headnote says, “Maple syrup and bourbon make for a great combination that’s not too sweet and naturally good.”

Ice

2 tablespoons maple syrup

1 part bourbon

3 parts seltzer

Peel of 1 orange

Black cherries

 Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour maple syrup over ice. Add bourbon and seltzer, stirring to combine. Add orange peel and desired amount of cherries. Makes 1 serving.

Stephen Fries, is a newly retired professor and coordinator of the Hospitality Management Programs at Gateway Community College, in New Haven, CT. He has been a food and culinary travel columnist for the past 14 years and is co-founder of and host of “Worth Tasting,” a culinary walking tour of downtown New Haven, CT. He is a board member of the International Association of Culinary Professionals. Stephen@stephenfries.com For more, go to stephenfries.com.

[searidings]

Lena definitely just lets Jess walk into her office without knocking and that has definitely led to her walking in on Lena in Supergirl’s arms

Jessica Hoang’s job pays well.

Like, really well. Like, buy-your-mother-a-new-Valentino-purse-every-Christmas well. Surprise-your-boyfriend-with-a-trip-to-the-Bahamas well. Rub-your-success-in-your-high-school-nemeses’-face-at-the-reunion-but-like-in-a-classy-way well.

And it’s not that it’s exactly unreasonable. Being Lena Luthor’s assistant is no cake walk. Jess has been shot at. She’s been almost blown up on more than one occasion. She’s worked all the hours god sends and then some. Hell, she’s got the chief detective of NCPD’s major crimes unit on speed dial.

She has, at various times and with varying degrees of success, played the roles of bodyguard, nutritionist, nurse, therapist, and drinking buddy. She’s seen Lena in every shade and hue of human emotion; coaxed her through crisis after crisis with warm words and a kind smile and never once let her miss a meeting.

So, Jess doesn’t really mind accepting the generous salary. Has even made peace with the borderline obscene bonuses Lena likes to toss her way around Christmas, or her birthday, or any time Jess introduces her to a new kale recipe.

She’s not arrogant, but she’s not prone to under-selling herself either. She knows Lena values her, knows she’s integral to keeping L-Corp’s CEO afloat and thus, to the running of the whole operation. And more than that, she knows her own worth. Takes pride in the work she does.

So she’ll take the paycheck, and the late nights and the missed meals and all the other things that come part and parcel with employment in National City’s most conspicuous company.

And if those other things come to include a front row ticket to the tragicomedy of her boss’ relationship with a certain blonde reporter, so be it. She’s not about to quit, after all. Once she’d gotten a taste of sleeping on Egyptian cotton bed sheets, there was no going back.

-

It started with the unrestricted office access.

Actually, it started when Lena allergic-to-the-press Luthor first asked her to put in a call to the biggest news outlet in town to request a private meeting with one of their junior reporters, but Jess lets that one slide.

(She’s got her own hunk of a man to go home to every night, yet even she’s not immune to Miss Danvers’ button down and slacks combo, to her earnest blue eyes and eager charm. Lena can’t be blamed for falling under that spell, nor for the hypnotic allure of the muscles straining beneath those demure cardigans. She’s only human, after all.)

But adding Kara Danvers to the list of people to be waved straight into her boss’ office with no checks – or rather, creating said list, which to this day consists of precisely one name – was what really sealed the deal. It was portentous in every sense of the word, a harbinger of what was to come.

Since that fateful day, Jess has seen more of Lena and Kara’s relationship than she’s sure any of the three of them would ideally prefer.

At first, it was the interviews. They’d been fishy enough in themselves; sure, Lena Luthor is objectively interesting. But three separate articles in the span of two weeks? No one’s that interesting.

After the interviews, it was the lunch dates. The first time she’d interrupted one of those she’d almost fallen over her own feet in shock. The sight of Lena Luthor – the same Lena Luthor that Jess had, on more than one occasion, needed to actively bribe into ingesting anything other than espresso and scotch in a fourteen hour workday – licking burger grease off her fingers and happy as a clam, had thrown her off for the whole rest of the day.

(Lena had long since instructed Jess to just stick her head into her office without knocking if she needed her. “Things can go to hell far too quickly around here to waste time with buzzers and intercoms,” she’d said with a self-deprecating smile.

If only Jess had known then what she knows now, she might have put up more of a fight on that front.)

The lunch dates had gotten longer, and more frequent, and decidedly more intimate. A year after the reporter’s first appearance at L-Corp it had become commonplace for Jess to walk into her boss’ office to find the two of them slanted close together on the couch, Lena’s heels discarded, her stockinged feet tucked beneath the blonde’s thigh.

Then, Kara started showing up at 7pm to drag Lena away from her desk at a reasonable hour. Started dropping by on her way to Catco before work too, fumbling coffees and pastries in her blushing grip.

(She always brought a latte for Jess along with Lena’s regular order. Of all the developments, that was certainly one of the most welcome.)

She got to know Kara, as the years went on. Was pleased to discover that she truly was as delightful as she seemed. And it was nice to finally have an ally in her ongoing battle to regulate her boss’ shockingly unhealthy work habits. She and Kara could tag-team their efforts, trading off caffeine duty and playing bad cop to get Lena to leave the office before midnight. It meant that Jess had finally, occasionally, gotten a day off.

It didn’t escape her notice that Kara was always there on the bad days. She showed up like clockwork after every ruthless smear campaign against L-Corp, every stock market plummet, every assassination attempt. She would enter the office to find Lena crying and she would leave with the dark haired woman tucked securely against her side, if not smiling then at least calm. At least hopeful.

And Kara was there on the good days, too. The mergers and the product launches and the prototype successes; she celebrated every one of Lena’s triumphs as if they were her own. And Lena, Lena lit up when Kara was around. Bloomed like a rare flower beneath the megawatt glare of Kara’s sunshine devotion.

Her boss never said so in so many words, nor did Jess ever walk in on anything directly incriminating. But it was clear to anyone with eyes exactly what was happening between the two women, exactly where it would lead.

And then one day, Kara wasn’t there anymore.

-

The effect was as obvious as it was immediate.

Lena started coming in early and staying late, if she left the office at all. She barely ate. Her face was pale and drawn, and Jess would often enter her office to find her boss’ eyes red-rimmed.

It became glaringly, painfully obvious that without Kara dropping by at all hours of the day and night, no one was coming to visit Lena.

Her boss became closed-off and withdrawn, more so even than when Jess had first started at L-Corp. Gone were their weekly gossip sessions about the crotchety old men Lena couldn’t yet oust from the company’s board. Gone was her boss’ openness about her own life or her interest in Jess’, her frequent requests for photos of her cats or updates on the master’s in computer science she was studying for in the evenings evaporating into thin air.

Lena did not want to talk about it. Jess was informed of this emphatically and repeatedly whenever she would tentatively reach out, and slowly she stopped trying.

The closest they ever came to acknowledging the elephant in the room was the night of L-Corp’s annual fundraiser at the Luthor Children’s Hospital. Once the gala was over, Jess had run back to the office to drop off the donation paperwork in the company safe only to notice a faint light beneath Lena’s office door.

She’d entered to find Lena hunched on the floor of her private bathroom, heels kicked off and hair falling out of its intricate updo, mascara streaking her cheeks as she sobbed into her hands. Jess hadn’t hesitated for even a second before sinking down beside her.

Wrapping a secure arm around her boss’ shoulders and smoothing the flyaway hairs from her flushed face, she’d tried her best to convey the support and reassurance that Lena had so consistently shown to her. But the young woman had brushed off her platitudes even as the tears had continued to fall.

“It’s not okay,” she’d hiccupped against Jess’ shoulder, the scotch evident on her breath. “She’s gone. I won’t ever get her back.”

And that’s all she would say on the matter. Eventually, the tears had dried up and the exhaustion had set in and Jess had chaperoned her all the way back to her apartment and into bed.

Lena had shown up for work the next day in a pair of oversize aviators, clinging to her triple shot extra-large americano like a lifeline. She’d dropped a latte on Jess’ desk with a rueful smile, and that had been that. They never talked about it again.

-

That whole dark period only cemented the strong protective streak Jess had been cultivating over her boss ever since the very first attempt on her life.

It’s just that Lena is strong, and smart as hell and unfailingly kind and utterly undeserving of the punishment the world keeps foisting on her for her family’s sins. And worse, she’s not prepared to fight back. She just accepts it, internalises the hatred and the burden and the blame and Jess cannot, will not watch it happen. So sue her if she’s a little hyper-vigilant, a little possessive.

And so when Kara Danvers had shown up again one unassuming Tuesday, Jess intercepted her trajectory at Lena’s office door with narrowed eyes and a suspicious glare.

It must have been effective – she’d learned from stone cold boardroom killer Lena Luthor, after all – because the reporter shrank back a little beneath the force of her stare. Kara cleared her throat nervously and Jess had been a split second from launching into a what are your intentions with my girl speech ripped straight from a bad 1980s teen movie when the door opened behind her and Lena appeared.

“It’s fine, Jess,” her boss murmured and she had, reluctantly, stepped aside to let the blonde pass. Not before fixing Kara Danvers with one last pointed glare, though. If Lena wasn’t going to protect herself then Jess would just have to do it for her.

But there was no shouting, no screaming, no audible arguments. And when the blonde left a half hour later and Jess stuck her head through the office door to very unsubtly check on Lena’s wellbeing, there was no trace of red-rimmed eyes or tear stains. Lena simply offered up a small smile, a soft smile and once again, that appeared to be that.

Slowly, Kara Danvers became a regular fixture in L-Corp again, alongside the fancy espresso machines in every break room and the ever-present whiff of soldered metal.

Jess remained wary, a fact which did not seem to go unnoticed by the reporter. In fact, Kara redoubled her efforts to win her over, including new pastries and other sweet treats with the lattes she still regularly delivered.

“I can’t be bought, you know,” Jess had said once, taking the offered apricot Danish anyway. Her loyalty wasn’t up for auction, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t capitalise on the spoils of a bidding war.

Kara had only smiled sadly. “I know. I’m glad.” At Jess’ inquisitive stare she’d just shaken her head, reaching up to adjust her glasses. “I’m glad she has you.”

Jess had hmphed rather ungracefully, licking a stray flake of pastry from the end of her finger. She may have broken her boss’ heart, but no one could deny that Kara Danvers had great taste in desserts.

“I’m not looking for her forgiveness. Or yours,” Kara had continued, so surprising that Jess had inhaled a healthy gulp of latte directly into her lung. The reporter had waited until she’d finished spluttering before she continued. “I don’t deserve it. But for what it’s worth, she has me, too. Again, I mean. For as long as she wants me.”

Jess had narrowed her eyes, searching for any trace of insincerity in that earnest, handsome face. Finding none, her feelings toward the reporter had at last settled somewhere in the ballpark of grudging respect.

And there they’ve remained. She still watches the blonde carefully, still keeps a wary eye out for any sign that things may crumble into dust again. But Kara is true to her word. She shows up, she keeps showing up, and she sticks around.

And slowly, achingly slowly, the light comes back to Lena’s eyes.

-

It’s just another regular unassuming Tuesday when everything shifts again.

Kara Danvers hasn’t yet shown up for lunch and her boss’ conference call was scheduled to have ended a half hour ago, and this stack of expense reports desperately needs Lena’s signature so Jess doesn’t bother knocking as she shoulders open the office door.

A lesser assistant might have shrieked. They’d definitely have dropped the gargantuan stack of reports all over the floor. But Jessica Hoang was trained by Lena Luthor herself. She’s got dignity and composure for days.

Even so, it takes every ounce of poise she can muster not to let out so much as a squeak at the sight of her boss hovering a solid five feet above the floor of her office, enveloped tightly in the arms of a fully kitted and caped Supergirl.

It’s an unavoidably intimate embrace. Lena’s stockinged feet perch lightly on the toes of the hero’s red boots, her arms wrapped snug around the Kryptonian’s neck. Their foreheads are pressed together and they’re just gazing into one another’s eyes, Supergirl’s arms slung low around Lena’s waist as she drifts them in lazy mid-air circles.

For one horrible, stomach-churning moment Jess is faced with the mind-boggling possibility that her boss is, for all intents and purposes, cheating on her reporter gal pal with the city’s superpowered sweetheart.

But equanimity isn’t the only talent she’s picked up from Lena. Her problem solving skills aren’t bad either, or so her boyfriend is fond of grumbling when she steals the Sunday crossword out from under his nose.

Jess uses the split second before they react to her presence to appraise the scene with a critical eye.

At this proximity, there’s something decidedly familiar about those blue eyes and flowing golden locks. But the real clincher doesn’t end up coming from Supergirl at all. It’s the softness in her boss’ expression, the gentle slant of her features and the unguarded love in her eyes in the brief moment before she registers the interruption that really seals the deal.

Jess has, after all, seen Lena in every shade and hue of human emotion. The list of people her boss would look at like that, much like the list of people with unrestricted access to her office, consists of precisely one name.  

Two heads snap towards her in perfect tandem, two jaws hitting the floor in quick succession. Lena gasps and shoves herself away from Supergirl like the woman has suddenly become radioactive, apparently forgetting that she’s not currently abiding by the laws of terrestrial gravity and almost plummeting five feet to the ground.

She’s saved by the hero’s lightning fast reflexes, strong arms snapping out to catch her around the waist and pulling their bodies snugly back together into an embrace somehow even more intimate than the original.

Jess smirks. Lena’s cheeks are redder than she’s ever seen them as Supergirl floats them both gently back to the ground. “This isn’t— we were just— she’s not—” Lena tries half-heartedly as the superhero shuffles her feet at her side, blushing like a chastised schoolgirl.

Jess bites the inside of her cheek, calling upon every last shred of her professionalism to keep from laughing. “Your two o’clock is here,” she says gently, gracing her boss with a genuine smile. Jess may be proud of her own bullish protectiveness in front of others, but she’s a simple girl at heart. If Lena’s happy, she’s happy.

Both women are still staring at her slack-jawed. It appears no response is forthcoming any time soon.

Jess decides to put them out of their misery. “Just buzz when you want me to send him in, Miss Luthor. Miss Danvers,” she nods in acknowledgment as she ducks quickly back out of the room. Not quick enough, though, to miss the choked sounds of shock from behind her, nor the heated stage-whisper of how does she know, Lena? that follows her out of the door.

Jess shakes her head. And she doesn’t even have superhearing.

-

Lena Luthor has many strengths but subtlety, apparently, is not one of them.

That’s the conclusion Jess has no choice but to land on as she stares down at her phone. The extra 10k that has materialised in her bank account without warning or explanation could hardly be more obvious if it had come with the payee reference hush money right there in black and white.

Well. If Jess hadn’t been sure before, she certainly is now.

She shakes her head fondly. As if she would ever sell out her boss on anything, much less on what is very clearly a matter of the heart.

After all these years working together, she knows Lena trusts her. But she can also picture clear as day the scene that must have transpired in the office behind her just moments ago. Lena and Kara, panicking about being discovered. Lena falling back into her Luthor conditioning, deciding to clean up the mess by throwing money at it. The instant regret as she realises she’s just confirmed that there is in fact something to be covered up.

For a certified genius, her boss sure can be dense.

Jess chuckles. Taps out of her banking app and pulls up her messages. Your super secret’s safe with me she types, grinning. I’ve never told a soul that you were drunk as a skunk at the annual board meeting three years ago, and that was without a single dollar in bribes. Why would this be any different?

Hitting send, she swears she actually hears the sigh of relief her boss lets out despite the three inches of solid oak door separating them. She shakes her head again, biting her lip.

I’m happy for you, Lena she sends, warm affection swelling in her chest. Smiles when her screen lights up a moment later with a single red heart.

She locks her phone and squares her shoulders. Skims a critical eye over the weekly schedule she already knows by heart. Ushers in Lena’s two o’clock at her boss’ signal and settles back at her desk. Pulls up a new browser tab and searches up the cost of last-minute flights to the Maldives.

Just because Lena’s hush money was unnecessary, that doesn’t mean it can’t be put to good use.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Tripped Into Love ~ MYG [Request]

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

PAIRING: Yoongi x Fem!Reader

GENRE: Fluffy, friends to lovers, opposites attract, best friends friend, fluffy yoongi, yoongi having a crush on the reader

Yoongi was 100% without a doubt in love with you. There was something about the way you dressed. The way you acted. The way you held yourself. You were the complete opposite of everything he was and everything he thought he wanted in a partner. Everything about you had him head over heels in love with you. 

From the moment he met you he knew there was something about you that drew him in. Something that made him feel as though he could never let you out of his life. Jungkook wanted you all to meet and so he set it up, way back before everyone debuted. Yoongi figured you would be exactly like Jungkook but he couldn’t have been more wrong. The fact that Jungkook felt the need to warn the boys about you should have been his first guess that you were nothing as he was expecting but in a good way.

“Just remember I said Y/n can get a little excited over things, and when she sees something she thinks is cute she’ll keep telling you how cute she finds it,” Yoongi rolled his eyes at the persistent Jungkook. He’d been going on for the last hour about you. His best friend. Someone he’d known since the two of you was able to walk and talk. Jungkook just wanted to prepare Yoongi about you, he knew how temperamental Yoongi could get with things and he didn’t want there to be any issues.

“I told you, I’ll say hello and leave.” Yoongi reminded him as he sat on the dorms sofa and waited for the doorbell to ring. Jungkook wanted you to meet everybody since you were going to be seeing them all a lot more now your best friend was going to be training more.

“That’s her,” Jungkook breathed out as he walked over to the door calling you to come in. Yoongi couldn’t see you at first because Jungkook had his arms wrapped around your body. 

“Come in, this is Jimin and you already know Tae.” Yoongi kept his eyes on the door waiting for your arrival and when it finally came his jaw almost dropped open. Not only were you beautiful but you seemed so happy to be there. A smile plastered across your face as you held up a bag for Jungkook to see, 

“I got everyone something. I couldn’t resist.” Taking the bag over to the coffee table in front of Yoongi you smiled at him and his heart practically lept from his chest. The way you smiled at him did all sorts of things he never thought would happen. 

“I’m Y/n,” You shook his hand and he smiled, beginning to stammer over his words trying to introduce himself to you. Never in a million years had he ever been this shy around someone. 

“That’s Yoongi, he’s one of our rappers,” Jimin said as he sat beside Yoongi, poking his side and earning a death glare from Yoongi. 

“I can tell,” You joked about the way he was stammering and let out the most heavenly giggle Yoongi had ever heard in his life. It was something he would feature in the back of a song if you would ever let him.

“What did you get us?” Jungkook asked as he stood beside you trying to peek into the bag. You smirked before rummaging through it. Yoongi still couldn’t take his eyes off you. The dress you were wearing looked as though it had been plucked from a barbie doll but it wasn’t anything too much for the eyes. A simple A-Line dress that went to below your knees, short puffy sleeves with a lace-up-front. Covered in cute strawberries. You had paired it with a pair of pink vans and Yoongi instantly could tell what your favourite colour was from the first look at you. 

“Yoongi!” Taehyung began snapping his fingers in front of Yoongi’s face to pull him back into the conversation. All of the boys were staring at him holding cute stuffed animals while you grinned at him. There was clearly something on his mind that was taking up his attention but you had no idea that it was you.

“I got you one too,” You smiled holding up a black and white stuffed cat. It was larger than a small sofa cushion and adorable. Yoongi couldn’t help but smile even more as he took it from you carefully, giving it a small squeeze. 

The boys all exchanged looks with one another as Yoongi had a slight blush to his cheeks. It was shocking for them to see him so shy in front of someone but they were going to enjoy seeing him like this for a while. 

“I figured since Jungkook always tells me how much you look like a kitty,” You smiled sweetly at him and he couldn’t help but smile more. Not only was it a kind gesture but it was something he never would have expected. 

“I love him,” He breathed out as he looked up at you. Jungkook could already see what was beginning to happen and he wasn’t going to put a stop to it. Only encourage it, it would be a breath of fresh air to see Yoongi so happy around someone. 

Yoongi stayed longer in the living room with you and Jungkook, agreeing to watch any movie with you that you were willing to put on. He never would have pegged himself as the guy to sit and watch copious amounts of Disney movies just because someone asked him to.

Smiling to himself Yoongi bopped the cat toy you had gotten him on the nose, he had kept it for eight years and kept him on his desk in each studio he stayed in. It never left his side unless he went home for the night. It had been eight years of Yoongi being in love with you and he had never once admitted to you or confessed to you that it was all happening. Why would he want to ruin something that was already perfect? 

Jungkook knew of Yoongi’s feelings for you and had confronted Yoongi about it trying to convince his Hyung to tell you the truth. That he would feel even better once the feelings were out in the open. But he never did. He never wanted to risk the friendship that you and Jungkook had, nor did he want to ruin the friendship you and he had. 

The two of you had begun to get close over the years, hanging out together whenever Jungkook was busy or just because you wanted to be around one another. The two of you had movie nights, take-out nights and even lunch dates together. You knew what he was like for forgetting to eat so you made sure to bring him a homecooked lunch at least once a week, two if you could push it. 

Yoongi figured it was something you did for Jungkook as a friend and he let it continue on, having no idea that it was because you were head over heels in love with him. 

The moment you met him you couldn’t help but feel a yearn for him. You needed to be around him at all times or you would feel sort of lost without him. It was hard to explain and you had tried to explain it to Jungkook too many times you were beginning to lose count. 

“I thought we were going to have lunch,” You complained to Jungkook as he stood inside one of the dance studios sweating and panting heavily. It was your annual lunch in the HYBE canteen.

“I got caught up in a late practice. I’ll be out in an hour or two,” You rolled your eyes at him playfully before agreeing to go off on your own. It wasn’t the first time he had suddenly become busy while you were supposed to visit him. The joys of being friends with a kpop idol.  

It wasn’t as though you were going to be bored you could just go and sit with Namjoon or Yoongi. Whichever you happened to run into first on your way up to their studios.

“Hey! I thought you were going to lunch,” Namjoon’s voice filled the hallway and Yoongi frowned as he turned to look at who he was talking to. He’d gone out to get a small cup of coffee before going back on his break. He thought he was the only one around on the floor.  

As soon as his eyes landed on you he couldn’t help but smile. Your back was to him but he could already tell it was you because of the outfit. A soft pink jumper and matching plaid skirt, your pair of pink vans that Yoongi had gotten you for Christmas. 

The fact that you wore them almost every day bought a huge smile to Yoongi’s face whenever he saw you. It was secret Santa with the boys and Yoongi swapped with everyone until he got you. 

“Jungkook is practising so I was coming up to see if you or Yoongi were free,” Yoongi’s heart almost combust hearing that you wanted to spend time with him. Whenever you were around him it felt as though he was going to have a heart attack or at least have his heart suddenly burst out from his chest and confess to you itself. 

“Well, I’m not but I think Yoongi might be considering he’s staring at us,” Yoongi felt himself beginning to burn up as your body turned around to see him. Standing there holding a paper cup of coffee and smiling shyly over at you. The sight alone was enough to make you smile and heart sing, 

“Thanks, Joonie,” You hugged him goodbye before rushing over to join Yoongi beside his studio door.

“If you’re doing something I don’t have to.” You didn’t want to ever push your presence onto anybdoy but Yoongi shook his head at you. There was nothing that could stop him from inviting you into his studio. Spending more and more time with you. 

“I’m free, you can come and sit with me. I just finished a song, you can help me decide if I like it.” He smirked a little as you began to jump up and down on the spot getting excited at the thought of seeing a sneak peek of a song. 

“I think this will be the first time you’ve ever allowed me into the studio…” He thought back on all of the times you had been there and it was true. Mostly because he never wanted you to see him working, he would drown out the world and end up ignoring you. Or there was the possibility that you being in his studio would be far more distracting and he didn’t think he would be able to concentrate on anything but you. 

“It’s nothing much,” He pushed in the password and you looked away. You knew how private Yoongi was about things and you didn’t want him to have to change the password because you had seen it.  

“Welcome,” He breathed out as he pushed the door open.

Eyes dancing around the studio you couldn’t help but smile at everything around you, looking at the huge audio mixer, three monitors that were at his set up. Two on the desk and a larger flatscreen mounted onto the wall above his desk. There was a keyboard beside the desk that was put away whenever he wasn’t using it. A sofa sitting on the opposite side where the boys would sit and a small recording booth to the side. 

“This place is huge,” You gasped out as you looked at his desk. The mixer took up a little more than half of the desk, then there was a keyboard and mouse ready for him to use. 

As you were about to ask about what every button did on the mixer you saw it. It being the cat you had gotten for him all of those years ago. To your knowledge, the rest of the boys just put them away never to be seen again but the cat was there. Dressed in a miniature version of Yoongi’s Daechwita outfit. 

“You kept him?" There was genuine surprise in your voice as you looked at the small animal sitting there.

"Of course, you gave him to me and I love him." He chuckled watching you as you began to pick up the stuffed animal. Holding it close to your chest, 

"So cute! Did you get this made for him?" You questioned looking at the small outfit. It had every last detail from Yoongi's rags outfit in the video on the teddy. 

"Yeah, I got it made after the video dropped." It was a lie. He got it custom made the moment you told Yoongi how much you loved the video on set. 

He'd invited Jungkook to film with him and you'd tagged along to watch everything for the two days of filming. Watching Yoongi act tough as Agust D always made you feel something inside you couldn't quite explain. Even when he was dressed in the rags it made your heart skip and your stomach flip. 

"I love the video and song so much," You admitted as you put the cat down onto the desk. 

The video shoot had been one of the most amazing two days of your life. Yoongi had tried to convince you to get in the video but you declined, just wanting to watch the master at work. 

"Do you remember when you burnt your hand?" You looked at him remembering the scene where he had been bound near fire. He'd accidentally slipped and burnt his hands on one of the metal holders when he was trying to impress you. 

"How could I forget?" He whined looking at the small burn on the back of his hand, nothing large but just a small pink mark where he had gone into contact with the metal bowl. 

"It healed nicely," You told him as you took his hand into yours to take a look at the mark. Your fingers softly running over the faint mark as you inspected it. Yoongi's heart lept into his throat as you held his hand. A spark radiating from his entire body.

"Only because you made me ice it right away," He reminded you,

"Because you would have scared a lot worse if I didn’t." You scolded him as you began to look over his hand, letting go of it and smiling. When he did it he tried to act tough, as though it hadn’t bothered him but you could tell by the look in his eyes that day that it hurt more than he was willing to let on.

The two of you sat down on the sofa looking at one another. Talking about anything and everything that came to your mind. You were in the middle of planning your next movie night together when he suggested a horror movie.

"I'm telling you, there is no way on this earth you can get me to watch a horror movie with you," You complained as he continued to beg you. To you, it was just a horror movie but to Yoongi it was going to be a ticket into getting you to hold you in his arms. 

"Why not? I'll be there to protect you." He announced clearly as you shook your head,

"Protect me? Who's going to protect you!" You laughed rolling your head down onto the sofa and shaking it. 

"There is no way," You repeated to him and he pouted a little. There had to be a way to get you to watch a movie like that with him. 

"What if I asked really, really nicely." He pleaded, you looked up at him before sitting straight. 

"How would you do that?" Yoongi sat up straight and looked at you, eyes turning into puppy dog eyes as he begged you.

"Will you, Y/n Y/l/n, like to watch a horror movie with me? Pretty please," You scoffed at him, 

"Have to do better than that." You told him clearly as you waited for him to continue on. Yoongi nodded,

"I'll bring you chocolates, flowers, and a new stuffed animal.” The idea made you smile a lot more than if it was something between friends.

"It'll be like a date," Your mouth spoke before your brain even had time to register what it was that you were saying. The two of you froze. Yoongi didn't laugh and neither did you. You just stared at him wondering what to say next.

"A date...Would that be a bad thing?" His voice came out soft. He was testing the waters to see what you would think about having a date with him. 

"I don't think so..." Your voice came out a little strained. Was this your way of coming clean to him and admitting your feelings for him? 

Your eyes kept staring at his lips, his eyes doing the same as he did his best not to kiss you. He didn't want to move too fast or be too forward with you. Yoongi's head moved forward just a little as if he was going to kiss you so you. His breathing was careful as he glanced at you, heart racing from how close he was. He couldn't feel his legs, his arms or his toes anymore. All he could feel was how close you were to him and that was the only thought running rampant in his head. 

Meeting him in the middle you kissed him. His lips were softer than anything you had ever felt and you began to feel weightless. Lips moving against his as you sat up straight to deepen the kiss ever so slightly. Yoongi's hands at on your waist as he smiled against your lips. This was everything he had imagined and more. 

Pulling away your eyes stayed shut, resting your forehead on his as you were unable to open your eyes. Opening them meant realising that had truly happened and the repercussions that could have come along with it. 

"Y/n I need to tell you something," The whole room seemed to tense up as he looked at you. As if the kiss wasn’t obvious enough for you he needed to tell you how he was feeling.  

"I don't think I can be friends anymore..." He admitted as he looked at you, your heart almost dropped to the pit of your stomach.

"What? I-I didn’t mean to...I thought-”

"No, Y/n...Listen," He took your hand into his and smiled softly at you. Cutting you oof as he shook his head,

"I don't want to continue as friends because I need something more...I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you more and more every time that I see you and it's getting harder and harder to keep my feelings for you at bay." Heart lept back into your throat hearing that Yoongi loved you back.

"You love me too?"

"Yes I do- wait, too?" He questioned as he raised his eyebrow not expecting to hear that you loved him back. He would have thought you liked him after the kiss but loved him?

"You think I wouldn't fall in love with you?" You giggled softly as you kissed his lips again softly. It was like a drug, every time you stopped you wanted to go back in for more.

"You light up my life Y/n...I never would have thought someone like you would ever go for someone like me." When he finished his sentence you frowned at the statement. Someone like you?

"Someone like me?"

"Someone so cute and pink...The complete opposite to who I am." He rambled on a little as he looked at you. Never in a million years would he have expected you to like him back.

"Opposites attract," You whispered as you looked at him.

"But you're so soft and gentle with us and you're unreal. You make me melt into a puddle." Giggling at the small statement you kissed his lips over and over again making him blush deeper. The effect you had on him was unreal.

"So you fell for me?" You teased as you held his hand in yours. Locking your fingers together and giving his hand a small squeeze.

"I didn't fall in love, you tripped me." He licked his lips as he looked at you. Head racing to kiss you again but he didn't want to go too far or too fast with you. He had to take you out on a date first. 

"You tripped me too," You admitted to him as you pressed your lips to his cheek. The blush growing deeper with each touch he earnt from you. 

"Let me take you to lunch...We can make it up to Jungkook another time." He admitted before kissing you softly, pulling you to stand up from the sofa. If the two of you stayed in the studio any longer he was never going to be able to let you go.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @min-yus​ @rjsmochii​ @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @agustdjoon​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @justbangtanthingz​ @taeechwitaa​ @mwitsmejk​ @stillwithlix​

[husbandohunter]

Mermaids exist in stardew, yes? So imagine a mermaid farmer for Zhongli, Kaeya and Diluc it could be in Yandere setting or not. I just wanna know their reaction when they found out and how it’ll effect their relationship. Will it brew angst, love, or both

Part of your world [Genshin x Mermaid!Reader]{Stardew Impact series}

Synopsis: You came from the sea and he takes you through a journey of what it was like to live on land despite your differences.

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

"I threw in Childe because I had an idea for him xD It's fluff month so everything is going to be happy from now on >.>"

=============================

{Diluc}

It was a hot summer day when Diluc first found you lying unconscious ashore. You had just swam far and wide from the ocean world, the climate deemed unideal for your case. With no one else around, he took the initiative to help you out of your situation.

He shortly found out by the slight appearances of scales gracing your legs that you were neither a human or someone coming from the town nearby. As legendary as mermaids are, Diluc wanted nothing to do with you. His beginning plan was to find your relatives and send you out of his house (Additional work isn’t welcomed when he has so much already). However, you latched onto him pretty quickly since he was the one who saved you.

Here stands a human, a creature that you always wanted to interact with, in your perspective he may look a little stern but he must have plenty of knowledge to offer based on all the antiques he owns.

The only problem was that you two had no way to communicate. Different worlds meant different languages. Whenever Diluc told you that you couldn’t stay, all you did was tilt your head and whenever you tried expressing what you wanted to say, well, normally bubbles would come out of your mouth since they were an indication for your words.

He gave up on trying to kick you out and simply allowed you to take residence as long as you stayed out of his workaholic life. You would tend to his farm while he was absent on other matters and feeding animals in the barn (a lot to do but a win-win situation now that you were able to discover what it was like to live on land at the same time). Though you were also a handful, most of the time Diluc had to excuse himself from his desk when you thought the rake was some sort of hair brush and he forbade you from using the bulldozer. Quite honestly you caused him a lot of stress. He spent most of his hours teaching you and before he knew, it was already a habit of his.

The only words you knew were three words. If you wanted to eat you would say ‘fish’. If you were thirsty, you would say ‘water’. If it was anything else, you would say ‘Diluc.’

He allows you to take long baths since he knows how hydrated mermaids must stay at all times. Orders a pool to be built in his front yard (at least this way helps him save his costly electricity bills). Diluc also borrows books from the library museum for you to read, anything that you would find interesting, (mostly they were about alphabets and picture-based stories (it felt like he was raising a child).)

Easily gets worried when you step into town with him, he keeps a watchful eye in case you collapse and extra bottles when you need a drink. Most of the time, he had to keep an eye on you since you had the natural instinct to waltz into whatever interested you, such as dancing in annual festivities (which you dragged him along of course). It was how he grew attached to your presence because you truly knew how to appreciate the world around you when he himself was too busy to do so.

Two worlds merged and he was learning how to live in yours too, how you perceive things. Building sandcastles, collecting seashells, listening to the echoes resounding within them. Activities he thought were unnecessary suddenly gained the meaning he had lost long ago. Diluc grew too fast at maximum speed, trying to get as many things done as he could, until he was pulled back by the emotional waves of your kindness and compassion, onto the shore he failed to live on. How ironic reality can be.

{Childe}

Everyone knew how much Childe loved to fish. He sets out at sea every evening to capture a batch of flounders, hopefully stumbling upon a legendary one.

In a way, he did. Just not what he expected. What he pulled out of the waters seemed to be a human-sized fish sitting upon the other residues caught in between. ‘A mermaid…?’ he thought, still digesting the fact in front of him. (No wonder the net felt so heavy).

At the same time he wanted to take you with and sell you for a good price but knew how mad Tonia would get when she found out. So he lets you go free. The thing is, you swam behind his boat and followed him back to land. This was how your relationship with Childe started, to this day he continues to jest upon that memory.

Tonia took most of the responsibility to coach you about human life. One of them was table etiquette, before you ate with only your hands which caused a mess. Childe would laugh hysterically at it until Tonia reminded him, “This is also what happens when you use chopsticks, big brother.”

Teucer invites you to basically anything since you have so much patience. Childe shortly realizes that he was soon going to be replaced as the eldest caretaker and you couldn’t even talk at that time. So it was only fair that he included himself in the circle while interacting with your way of communicating: sign language (Surprisingly, he was naturally good at it. Though his movements are rather exaggerated and...ungraceful).

You were nice enough to accompany him to his fishing tasks and soon enough became your daily activities. Childe takes the lead as you follow him from the side, sometimes he lets go of the steering wheel and allows you to push the boat instead (he kept a note to himself that in your mermaid mode, your strength multiplied by a large number). Other times he felt a little risky and decided to jump in the ocean with you for a swimming session. It worried you immensely but your anxiety subsided when you saw how much fun he was having and for the rest of the time, you both explored what the ocean had to offer.

Childe used to be a fish-cook enthusiast. Not anymore (since that day you cried when glancing at the flounder dish he placed on the table). He had to stick to seaweed or any other plant-based meals with a little bit of meat but too much would cause your stomach to churn. Since his siblings complained at the sudden change, he had to make a separate meal plan for them. With a mermaid in the house was certainly high-maintenance indeed.

Cuddling with you in front of the cracking fire blazing under the chimney was one of the calmest moments indulged himself in. He often chooses the life where the waves crash constantly, anticipating a thrilling storm that comes ahead. But you were just a lull at the sea, the mediator he needed in times where his siblings needed a mother-figure. Sometimes he fears that you would leave him and return to where your true family lives but he was grateful that you chose him above all else. He was grateful that by chance, he captured you at sea. One thing he loved about life was the unpredictability the future brings, including the blessings. Even if you were a creature from far away, in your presence he felt like he was truly at home.

{Kaeya}

When the tides rose above his head, Kaeya was sure that he was done for. The surfboard he recently stood upon slips off beneath his feet and he falls into the ocean’s merciless waves. No oxygen, no time to catch his breath amidst the impact, his eyes were slowly closing and the last thing he saw was the sun’s light beyond the heavy surface, along with the murky visual of someone swimming in front of it.

Although he almost drowned, the idea of being saved by a pretty mermaid makes up for the fact (He has a natural tendency to flirt at anything eye-catching even if you were an outlandish being). You on the other hand was confused by his advances as you couldn’t understand a word he was saying, hence you swam away.

Those beginning days when you chose to explore the land, Kaeya remembers how much trouble you had with walking using your new legs. He had to hold both your hands while leading you forward, he found it rather cute when you tighten your grip the moment you felt that he was going to let go (he was only bluffing of course but you still hissed at him). Still, Kaeya ensures that you don’t fall to the ground, he catches you in time when you collapse while laughing, “You’re doing great sweetheart.”

In return you teach him how to read the ocean’s movements so that he won’t drown again. Kaeya spends more time around the beach since he knows that the water bodies are where you were most comfortable with. He tells you that you always smell like saltwater whenever he buries his face in your hair, perhaps that was how he grew attached to the ocean as well.

In summer seasons there were several days where you had to sleep in his bathtub because the air was so dry. As a mermaid, he had to tolerate many of your unique quirks, in this case he had to deal with showering in cold water since you took up all the electricity. Another case was your wine tolerance, no one could challenge you to a drinking contest when your body could sustain large amounts of liquids. Kaeya sometimes jokes if you could turn him into a merman like those in fairytale books so he can have the same experience. You take it as a joke while he was also being half-serious.

When you have to take a temporary trip home, Kaeya visits the dock every evening and waits for you to come back, trying to see any signs of your colourful tail. He glances at the ocean he grew to love, knowing where he stood is as far as he could go and anywhere beyond the boundary was out of his reach. So many people left him in his life and even though he knew you wouldn’t do the same, he still worries. Uncertain if you would abandon him too.

Your existence became the center of his life the moment you chose to walk upon land with him. Side by side, through small hurdles the seashore and hurdles as big as the wave that almost killed him the day he met you, Kaeya keeps them all as if they were the most precious treasure a pirate could find. It didn’t matter if you were different from everyone else because despite your tail, all he could see was you.

{Zhongli}

While Zhongli strolls along the sandy beach, he follows the alluring sound of your singing voice. You sat upon the rock while humming along what seems to be an old folk tune, similar to what Guizhong once sang. The man folds his arms and closes his eyes. Many years have passed since he last heard something like this, “Your voice, it’s very lovely.”

He was a geologist who worked by the museum, collecting different types of rocks and seashells that would wash up shore. You became very familiar with his daily routine that before he pays a visit to the beach again, a pile of interesting rocks would be waiting for him by the docks. It was a gift. And Zhongli would bring snacks like seaweed soup as an accommodation for your kindness.

Unlike Kaeya, when you couldn’t walk because your legs were too weak to be used, Zhongli helps you with every step along the way even if the trip was a slow one. He even offered to have you carried when he saw you were having too much trouble but you insisted on trying. The whole trip that usually took ten minutes was a three hour walk.

Even though he knew many things, your language was not one of them. However he was willing to learn. Both of you have study sessions regarding each other’s culture. For you it’s the way humans drink with cups because of Zhongli being a tea fanatic himself, he even showed you how to hold a tea cup properly. You taught him how to swim since he had been so occupied on land that swimming never crossed his mind. Thankfully he was naturally good at it due to his tall stature (albeit a little scared when diving into an environment unknown and different to him).

Zhongli loves the way you sing and he would ask every time he wanted to read a book. Either under the tree on a warm spring day or on the couch when it was storming outside. Although he intended to get some reading done, Zhongli can’t help but fall asleep. You didn’t want to wake him up (and you could carry him if you wanted to thanks to your mega-mermaid strength) so by morning, you’d find yourselves in the same spot and your lap feeling numb.

Earth and sea were separated for a reason so that the creatures may stay upon the place where they belong. That wasn’t enough to separate you from him though. Zhongli would travel to the sea to see you and you mustered the courage to walk upon the hard surface of land. The two were only parts of the world but together they are part of the world, connected to form a whole new life.

[mystic-shadows42]

Holding Out Hope

A/N: This was just a simple quick write so there are probably mistakes.

Pairing: Clark Kent x reader

Warnings: Language

Summary: Clark has a hard time trying to find his place in the world but when he takes a job he’s unlikely to stay in for long, there’s an unexpected person there that he can’t simply walk away from.

Joe.

That’s what he said his name was. When you first met him, you didn’t think it suited him. He was a tall dark-haired, muscular, blue-eyed man with a gentleness to him.

Right away he stood out.

Joe was brought onto the crew by your father, the captain. He was quiet but observant. He always listened and remembered things that other people would long forget about.

He wasn’t the type of man you’re used to seeing on your father’s crew. He was actually nice and not handsy like the others.

You met him on his first day and told him of the small shop you worked at and he made it a habit to go whenever he was back from his fishing trips.

During his visits, you’d both make small talk. He was private about his life but was definitely curious about yours. You wanted to respect his privacy so you told him the truth of yours.

You were the youngest child of four. All of them had left to start their own lives elsewhere but would call occasionally. The home life wasn’t too great. Your mother had left and your father was a drunk. He would only stop drinking when he had to work and needed more money for it.

There were times when you’d ramble on and sneak a look over at him to see he was hanging on to every word. 

Occasionally, you’d treat him to lunch but even then you could tell he was still putting up a front as if he couldn’t simply relax. Sometimes he’d even leave abruptly after apologizing profusely.

It was understandable but after what seemed like the umpteenth time you started to think it was because of you. Perhaps you weren’t as good company as you thought.

Joe must’ve noticed your uncertainty because he would sometimes surprise you with gifts. Needless to say, it didn’t take much for you to fall hard for him. 

There were obvious signs there for something to flourish between you both but he was always the one to pull away.

So when you were on your break outside the shop with him you asked him what you’ve been dying to know.

“So, I have to ask. Why have you stuck around doing this job? Most people leave after the first week.”

He looked away and smiled then looked back at you. At his expression, you nudged his arm playfully.

“I find that staying here a little while has its benefits.”

You gave him a look which he knew what you meant. He didn’t give you much to go off of.

“My dad doesn’t pay you enough to think like that.”

“It’s not always about the pay.” He threw you a look that simply melted your heart. “Would you believe me if I told you the best part of my day is coming into the shop and seeing you?”

You slightly tilted your head not expecting the deemed quiet man by the crew to actually say this to you. Joe was far too handsome to be into you. Just by looking at him, you knew he didn’t belong in a less than ideal place with nothing to offer him whatsoever.

“Well, I don’t actually believe you.”

He had a faint smile on his face. “Open your hand.”

You held out your hand and he took something out of his back pocket and placed it in your hand.

“A gift?”

He nodded and gestured for you to look at it. You opened the small bag pulling the strings apart to see pearls inside.

They were beautiful and bigger than any you’ve ever seen. You inspected them more closely.

“These are South Sea pearls. I only know because my father obsesses over finding some one day.” You looked up at him astonished. These pearls were worth a good amount of money. “There’s no possible way you found these fishing.”

He put his hands over yours covering the pearls.

“I’m going to be leaving soon. Use these to get out of here.”

Your heart sunk at the news of him leaving soon. He was the whole reason you got excited for the day and dressed up. 

Just seeing him affected your whole day in a better way.

“I can’t. This is too big a gift to have.”

“They’re yours now.”

He said it so calmly as if obtaining them wasn’t a big deal. Even though you knew people would kill just to get their hands on them.

“How’d you get them?” 

“I flew,” he said, a small smile gracing his face before he turned his back to you.

“Joe.”

Even as you said his name he didn’t react. He hardly ever responded to it. You always suspected he was hiding something. Nobody simply ignores their name when called.

“Wait!”

He turned and you ran to catch up to him.

“At least tell me your real name.”

He sighed and you knew then that he wouldn’t. It did hurt a little that after all these months of knowing him that he didn’t even trust you enough to know his name.

It made you sad that nothing significant ever blossomed between you both though you knew he could feel the connection too. You didn’t think it’d hurt this much to lose a person you hardly knew anything about.

He lowered his head when you started to drop yours in disappointment. He looked genuinely concerned. It was hard to determine if he would even miss you or even thought of you the way you did him.

“I promise you that one day when I’m not running anymore. When I find out who I truly am, then I’ll find you and tell you my name.”

You shook your head. “That’s impossible. How will you ever find me?”

“Don’t lose hope.”

He moved closer to you and leaned down a little to be leveled with you. Your lips parted and your heart started to race at how close he was. He had his eyes closed already so you closed yours as you moved forward.

You were finally going to kiss.

“Hey, dipshit! It’s time to go!”

You groaned and opened your eyes to see he already opened his and was watching you.

“I have to go.”

You reached out for his hand and saw him smile down at your joined hands. He gave yours a small squeeze in reassurance.

“Captains tired of waiting! Hurry it up!”

His hand slowly slipped from yours. He smiled sadly and turned his back to you as he began walking away.

****

In your time of finding a place, you were tracked down by a determined reporter named Lois Lane. Her presence took you by surprise especially when she shared her story with you.

He was going by the name Liam. She told you briefly of her findings and how he saved her life with his ‘abilities’ yet somehow you began to think over your encounters with him.

The constant short meet-ups with him weren’t excuses. He was actually going out and saving someone’s life.

It just all seemed fitting for him. 

A savior.

Lois had questioned you explaining that his time fishing was the longest job he stuck with and she suspected it was because of you. She kept smiling at the stories you’d share of her with your encounters with him. 

There wasn’t much to go off because he was so discreet but it was the way he made you feel that made it seem everlasting. That much she could tell in your eyes and words alone.

Before she departed her last words to you were that he’d definitely find you again.

The idea lifted your spirits but you certainly missed his company.

After about a month and a couple of weeks you still hadn’t found a place to settle in. Nothing ever seemed like home to you.

You felt like a ghost going from place to place. Seeing a new area was nice but there was still that never-ending feeling of being alone.

The thing you missed from your old town was the view of the ocean. So that’s what led you here, to the beach.

You were walking aimlessly on the shoreline when you looked up after a huge sudden gust of wind hit you.

You gasped at the sight of ‘him’ standing just a few feet in front of you. He was smiling once he saw your reaction. He looked the same, only he was clean-shaven and he seemed more relaxed.

He began making his way to you still having his bright smile on his face. You immediately dropped your sandals and ran into his arms. He hugged you to him feeling his deep chuckle rumble through his chest.

“I told you I’d find you.”

You pulled back but still stayed in his arms.

“Now I know how you got here. You flew,” you chuckled remembering his words from before. He brushed the hair in your face back and smiled. 

“Yeah, I did.”

“So are you going to tell me what your name is or do I have to keep calling you Joe?”

“My name’s Clark. Clark Kent. As you may have heard, I’m not of this world but raised into it.”

“I’ve heard some stories.” 

You didn’t quite know what he was or how he came to have these abilities but all you knew was that you cared for him deeply. Nothing else mattered.

“How are you liking your new life?”

“I felt like how you used to. Not really belonging anywhere. Going from place to place. Missing you and our annual strolls.”

He rubbed your arms once you started to get goosebumps. His touch felt safe and warm. Something you could get used to. Everything about him captivated you in every way.

“Close your eyes.”

You took a deep breath and closed them. 

After a couple of seconds, he told you to open them. All you did was stare at him admiring just how handsome he truly is. He chuckled seeing your entranced state and told you to look down.

Confused, you looked down and saw that neither of you were on land anymore. You were both floating and had a vast view of the landscape.

Naturally, you gasped wrapping your arms around him thinking you were going to fall. You could hear him laughing but the thought of being so high up had overtaken your thoughts.

To capture your attention, he turned your face to him and looked down at your lips as if silently asking for your permission. You nodded and that was all he needed to kiss you. 

His lips were soft but the force was rough. You both had been desperate for this moment. It had been put off for far too long.

“I’ll never let you go. Never fall, never get hurt, and never leave you all alone again.”

His words were tender and sweet.

“Would you like to come to Kansas with me?”

This time you were the one with the permanent smile on your face chuckling. You had unshed tears in your eyes at how happy you were.

“I’d love to go to Kansas with you, Clark.”

[bonny-kookoo]

Rabid: The Beginning 5

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But for Jungkook, who spots his mate at an annual werewolf festival, this might be not all that accurate; because your absence makes his heart feel nothing- it only makes him hurt.

Tags/warnings: werewolf traditions, bangtan pack, werewolf jungkook, wolf hybrid jungkook, alpha! Jungkook, omega! Reader, werewolf reader, wolf hybrid reader, romance, a lot of angst, fluff, some rough playfighting, biting, kookers in love, like he's whipped right from the start, but also heartbroken later, whoops, smut, knotting, marking, mates, all that shebang, just read it lol

Additional Chapter Warnings: description of fainting due to exhaustion, blood, hunters, description of an attack against the mc

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You officially have no idea where you are.

Your omega is lost too, having no clue as to where exactly you're supposed to go; your own exhaustion making your brain feel too smooth to function at all. You're dizzy, walking a little slower as you have to rest at least for a moment. You've fainted before already, eyes beginning to become heavy as the buzzing in your head becomes white noise, lulling you to sleep like a witches curse.

And what exhaustion also does, is masking your senses.

You're unaware of someone lurking behind you, before a shot is hurt, your own yelp echoing inside your head as you run off, quickly noticing the pain in your shoulder.

You've just been shot.

You can hear footsteps behind you now, the attack having flushed your system with nothing but adrenaline as your legs keep you running, as best as you can with three limbs fully working. The blood is trickling down, warm and wet against your fur, already staining it as you keep going.

You have no idea where to run, simply going somewhere as you dodge stones and roots, stumbling here and there but keeping your footing as best as you can. You trip only once, force sending you rolling over the floor as you get up quickly, whining from the pain before you pull yourself together one last time, dashing away.

It seems like they've given up after a while.

Only when you can't hear them anymore do you slow down, pain finally hitting you as your system calms down, adrenaline leaving nothing but absolute agony behind.

You drag yourself a bit towards the side, moss on the ground enough for you as you simply lay down near the small river, water unreachable even though it's only centimeters away from you. But you can't get up, absolutely spent, as you simply let the sound of it sing you to sleep.

You wonder if Jungkook thinks of you.

You know that he'd expressed his interest, turning your annual festival into something magical with the ways he treated you. It felt like you were suddenly getting the exact same love story you've always read about in books, his shining eyes always on you, haunting you every day since you had to leave him behind. They visit you in your dreams, your omega unable to stop asking you if you've felt the same spark as she did.

You did.

You're mother had always told you fondly of how she met her mate- your father- purely by chance, by fate, as she called it. She loved to show you letters he'd written, small trinkets he'd sent, and told you stories of love and playful banter between them. It shaped your idea of love from the very beginning, it gave you this idea of, maybe, our there could be someone who'd make your soul jump in joy like this as well. That maybe you'd experience the same emotions one day.

And maybe you've overdone it now- having left your pack behind to search for a lover you're not even sure is one. Maybe he's seen you as a fleeting feeling, a pretty thing to look at just like the others who'd tried before him to win you over. You've never given your heart away like that, and you hope that it's not in vain.

You hope that you can somehow make it, somehow reach him, to lay it right inside his hands to keep. You know he can, you just know he would if you did. You know that he'd keep you safe, that he'd be the right match to stay at your side. Because even if your parents are both not around to experience it no more, you like to believe that they'd like him. They'd approve, you know it. You'll bring him to their memorial one day, to have him meet them at least in spirit.

Yes, you'd do that, you think to yourself as your eyes close.

You only needed a little rest.

And all would be well.

And as you fall asleep, you don't hear the birds worryingly so chirping away at your exhausted body, alerting whoever may pass by that there's not only a heart breaking, but a soul vanishing as well.

That there's a future on the line.

[lemonjoonah]

Wrapped Together (M)

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader Word Count: 18K Rating: M Genre: Christmas AU, Romance, Drama  Warnings: Protected sex, oral (m. rec.), referenced illness/death of parent, swearing, classism. Summary: Despite your best efforts to keep your head down, to self-preserve and endure what will no doubt be the worst Christmas of your life, you are still roped into volunteering for the hospital's annual gift wrap fundraiser. The enticing factor that lured you out? The promise of a new shift partner, Kim Namjoon. Though your first day together starts off with a slight miscalculation of his skills for wrapping, he soon becomes your essential ally in the fight to get through this lonely holiday season.

| Secret Santa Collab | My Masterlist |

A/N: A big thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for asking me to join her Secret Santa Christmas Collab, this was my first collab ever and I absolutely loved it. And of course to my beta readers @m00nchild-shi​ and @ladyartemesia​ thank you for helping me gain the courage to post this. I hope that this fic is able to bring a bit of comfort to those celebrating the holidays a little differently this year, so please enjoy!

...

-5 Weeks Until Christmas-

Amidst the chatter of the office, a dull rumble reaches your ears and vibrates the desk beneath your fingers, waking you from the repetitive haze of your hundredth call report. The moment of confusion switches to frantic action when your brain finally catches on and recognizes it as your own personal phone. Scurrying through your purse, you nab it just in time, but after checking the caller ID you desperately wish you hadn’t. 

You knew this call was coming, you’ve dreaded it since you felt the first freezing snowflake on the tip of your nose, when you heard the first carol blaring over the radio, and saw the first tacky inflatable gracing a lawn on your street. It happens every year, like clockwork, though this will be the first time she’ll be enlisting one and not two. Unable to put off the dreaded moment any longer, you answer, accepting that if you rip the band-aid off now and decline her invitation to join the wrapping fundraiser, it’ll be one less uncomfortable moment later. 

“Aunt Emma, hey it’s been awhile.” She’s not exactly your aunt, but you’ve known her ever since you and your mother settled down here ten years ago. With little other family nearby she was one of the few you and your mom could always count on. Making your task to turn her down all the more difficult now.

“My dear, how are you holding up? I’m so sorry to do this but I'm calling with some rather unfortunate news.”

“Oh?” You exclaim, careful not to sound too hopeful that you might be free of your heavy burden.

“Yes, well it’s regarding the wrapping fundraiser. I wanted to put you on the same shifts as myself or Maria. I didn’t want to have you alone, since, well, you know... but there are so many rookie volunteers this year. And with you being part of the organization for so long, I was hoping you work with one of them instead for the evening shifts? It’ll just be you and him, do you think you could manage it?”

“I-I uh...” Now this is something you had not expected. You spent the past few weeks worrying about how you might have to work side by side with pitying glances, condolences, and referenced scripture from the usual staff. Any thoughts and prayers for your loss would likely turn you into a pool of tears. Not something you want to happen in public, or private for that matter, but if you are partnered with a newcomer, one who knows nothing of your past, maybe... maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. “I can do that.”

“I knew you could! I’ll put you down for the weekday evenings from the seventh up to Christmas. You’re off work at four, right? I’ll send you more details later, but do you want me to be there to introduce you to the other volunteer?”

“No!” You blurt out, insisting in a volume far louder than necessary, but you can’t risk her acting on the offer. Introductions when done by Emma are dicey at best, with one solid breath she has the capacity to share every bit of your sad history, leaving you exactly where you’d rather not be. “I’m sure we’ll be fine. No need to put yourself out like that, you can just tell me their name now and save yourself the trip.” 

“Thank you dear, always so considerate. One second let me just grab that for you...” She pauses on the phone line, as you look around your office in worry, not wanting to get in trouble for taking a personal call on the clock. “Ah here it is. You’ll be working with Kim Namjoon...” 

...

-Less than 3 Weeks Until Christmas-

After finishing work you head off to the mall for your first day on wrapping duty. It should be a relatively quiet night, since the majority of the crowd typically disperses at this time, heading home to be with families for dinner. Your own sits in a paper bag on the passenger seat of your car. A solitary meal as you battle the rush hour traffic. Finishing off the last of the salted fries with a lick of your fingers while you secure a parking spot. 

Flipping down your visor you scoff when confronted with your appearance, your makeup melted off thanks to the struggles of your earlier shift. You dab and blend a fresh blot of concealer on the dark bags beneath your eyes, determined to erase any evidence of your doleful days and sleepless nights. 

The rented store space is already set up, with a long table propped up right at the entrance. Dressed with a variety of paper and ribbon and looking particularly festive. The other volunteers give you a brief greeting and run down before they leave and pass the duties off to you. With them gone you take a seat, looking down at the selection you have to offer this year, trying with all your might not to focus on the empty chair beside you, one that is usually fill by your-

“Hi, sorry I’m late...” Your gaze flicks up from the table, startled to find a giant of a man. Greeting you with a smile warm enough to melt your frozen expression. 

“H-hi,” You stutter out, staring at his handsome face framed with light brown locks, feeling as though you’ve seen it before, but can’t quite place where. “You must be Namjoon?” You ask, running through the list of actors and singers in your mind but coming up empty on who he reminds you of.

He nods, before confirming your name too, and launching into the reason behind his tardiness. “The traffic was not in my favour today.” He gestures to the table and the vacant seat behind it. “May I?” 

“Of course.” You quickly scoot the folding table over so he can slip by the barrier that separates you from the mall. He takes off his coat to reveal a whole suit beneath, though he soon disposes of the jacket and tie too. You try not to gulp as he rolls up his sleeves in front of you, his arms flexing as they reveal themselves. 

“Pretty quiet?” He asks looking around the mall. 

“It usually is around now, give it an hour or two.”

“Have you been doing this long?”

“A few years...” You mumble, not wanting to dive too deep in that well, you quickly turn to pin the question on him instead. “What prompted you to volunteer? Did Emma enlist you during her recruiting effort?”  

“She did, I found her posting the flyer at my workplace.” Namjoon chuckles. “But I’ve seen you all set up here before, and since my usual Christmas plans with my family have changed, I thought I’d join you all instead.”

“Oh, so you’re not spending Christmas with them?” 

“No, they’ve gone to visit my sister and her family in her city this year. I unfortunately have a few work commitments I can’t get out of to make the trip in time, but rather than just mope about at home I thought I might be of some use.” Namjoon smiles again, his fingers folding the corner of the wrapping paper in front of him. “What about you, any plans?”

“No, I usually spend it with my mom, but she won’t be with me this year...” Or any year going forward, you consider while you give him a weak smile. She was the very reason you joined this organization all those years ago, when Aunt Emma was making her rounds and signing up everyone she could at the hospital, you and your mother were there for an appointment, your mom offered up both of your services lending you to a tradition that would extend for years through her treatment, remission, and the final return. 

“So we're in the same boat?” 

“I guess so.” His grin is so contagious, despite the differences in your situation you can’t help but agree.

Your first client of the evening comes forward and drops a small pile of kids toys in front of you both . “Thank god you're here. If I bring these home unwrapped my kids won’t hesitate to spoil the surprise.” You divide the presents between you and Namjoon while the mother keeps talking and flicking through the different styles of paper offered. “At least if they’re wrapped I can say I saw Santa at the mall and he gave me these early. They are so hard to fool these days.” 

“I take it you’ll want the Santa stickers?” You ask pointing to a closed box behind you, hidden away from the wide and prying eyes of young children passing by. 

“Yes, thank you so much!” 

“No problem.” You assure her while putting the last piece of tape on the stack of video games. Though when you look over to check on Namjoon you find that he has barely even started. He cut off a sheet entirely too big and is attempting to fold it around the boxed animatronic pet. Your eyes stare at the state of the poor paper unable to look away from the crumpled carnage. But the shock soon turns to amusement over his determination to salvage the mangled sheet, and you find yourself biting your lip in an attempt not to laugh. Luckily the woman in front of you hasn’t noticed but once you're finished with yours, you reach over for the assist. 

“Here, I can take over that one. Could you do the ribbon for me?” 

 Namjoon nods opening his mouth in an embarrassed grin. He does manage to secure the strand around the package but loses the spool before he can cut it. The red ribbon rolls all the way to your foot, before you stop it with a tap on the sole of your boot. Namjoon winces, while you let out a chuckle before bending over to hand it back to him, and finish wrapping the other present. 

The attempt at a ribbon curl unfortunately goes the same as the package before it, with him completely at a loss and using the wrong edge of the scissor blade. Trying to save him you make another suggestion. “If you want you can always use the premade sticker curls.” 

Namjoon nods and places them on the two packages along with the vibrant sticker of a cartoon Claus winking as he delivers the warning, ‘Do not open ‘till Christmas, Santa’s watching.’

As you load up the presents into a bag, Namjoon takes to the cashbox, looking expectantly from the client with his dashingly dimpled grin. 

“Oh right.” She comments with an awkward smile. Opening her Gucci bag and matching wallet, the corners of her lips turning down when she rifles through several triple digit bills unable to find any smaller denomination. 

The stand is by donation only, but the implication has always been that one should compensate the fundraiser for the service provided. You can usually tell when someone intends to leave no payment at all, and unfortunately you know this act all too well. She’ll apologize and say that she has to run to the bank and get some cash, but you’ll never see her again. Namjoon, unfamiliar with this ploy, continues to give his eager smile, and to your utter shock she submits, handing him a hundred dollar bill. 

Namjoon thanks her profusely as she melts too under his gaze muttering, “Not a problem.” Before walking off clutching her now wrapped gifts. 

You look to Namjoon in disbelief while he locks the money away in the cash box. Only breaking the silence when the client is fully out of earshot. “How the hell did you do that?!”

“Do what?” He raises an eyebrow completely oblivious to what he just achieved. 

“She... she... you got her to donate, and such a large amount. How?”

“What do you mean how? People give that much all the time don’t they?”

“No, they don’t!” 

“Oh...” He gives you another of his knee weakening smiles. “Sorry I assumed, I guess I’m just used to it.” He scratches at the back of his neck looking down at the table.

“Used to it? Where on earth do you see, do you get used to, that kind of generosity?”

“Through my job I suppose?” His grin turns to a look of embarrassment. “I work in art procurement, currently under contract with the museum. I seek out collectors and convince them to donate or loan out their assets.”

It would seem that getting people to open up their wallets is practically his profession. “Well... looks like manning the cash will be the perfect job for you.” That smile of his is a dangerous weapon, and one you would be remiss not to use in the fundraiser’s efforts. Though it still leaves one question unanswered. “But I have to ask...” Your previously concealed giggling comes to the surface. “Why on earth would you volunteer for a holiday wrapping station if you don’t know how to wrap?”

A blush reaches his cheeks. “Last year when I was here... I left with far more than I was expecting, and feeling as though I should have given more. So I figured if I couldn’t be with my own family, I wanted to do this instead.” He starts habitually folding a paper scrap. “And maybe I’d learn a useful skill-”

When a streak of red is left on the paper trailing behind his finger you jump to interrupt. “Is that...”

“Fuck.” He mutters pulling his index close to examine it. “Yeah, those scissors are sharp, didn’t realize I drew blood though.”

You immediately start rummaging around in your bag. “I know I have a couple in here, one second.” You pull out a small box of bandages and peel apart the papers to reveal the adhesive.

“You carry band-aids in your purse?” Namjoon asks, with a raised brow.

“You're the one who cut their finger trying to make a ribbon curl.”

“It wasn’t a criticism, sorry I just thought it was... nice.” He holds up the injury and you're careful to wrap the strip around it.

“Yes well,” Your face heats up as you catch yourself lingering. “Try to stay away from the scissors unless absolutely necessary. I’d rather not have to make a trip to the hospital.”

“That would be counter productive wouldn’t it?” Namjoon laughs outright. 

...

Despite you being the only one to wrap you both manage the evening surprisingly well, pulling in a record donation amount.

“You must be good at your job,” you mutter with a smirk, as you finish counting the lockbox. “I’ve never seen people so happy to part with their money.”

“I only showed them how good of a job you did,” Namjoon explains. “I’ve never seen someone put so much care into wrapping.” 

“First impressions for a gift can be important too.” You justify as you secure the cash in a deposit bag. “They put a lot of care into selecting the gift, why shouldn’t I exemplify that?”

“Even the gift cards?”

“Especially the gift cards. I have to make them memorable somehow don’t I?”

“True.” Namjoon concedes, with a small frown.  “Listen I’m sorry if I didn’t make a good first impression on you myself. If you want I can call Emma and we will find someone else to help you.”

“No, I enjoyed working with you. It just caught me off guard that you didn’t actually know how to wrap. If you get bored of handling the cash I could try and teach you if you’d like... you said you wanted to learn right?”

“You’d be willing to show me?”

“Definitely, though let's stick to the premade ribbon curls. I’d rather not have to use anymore band-aids if I can avoid it.” 

After pulling down the gate and locking up the station up behind. Namjoon accompanies you to the bank to drop off the deposit before you part ways for the evening, with you going out one exit and him another. 

The sudden blast of cold air forces you to huddle in your coat, and crank the heat the very second you step into your car. As the windows to thaw and frost retreats, you spot your tall wrapping partner waiting at the bus stop. 

“Now why would he...” You’re left perplexed judging from the description of his job and quality of his attire you assumed him to drive some sort of flashy car, never would you think he would take public transportation. 

You drive over and stop right in front of Namjoon, rolling down the window. “Where do you live?”

“The Swan Estates, but if you don’t leave near there that’s fine I don’t mind bussing home.” Namjoon looks down the road. “It should be here soon.”

“It’s no problem, I pass by that area on my way home.” You reach across the car for the handle opening the door. “Come on get in. It’s too cold to wait for a bus.”  

Namjoon nods, and eagerly hops into the car holding his hands close to his vents with a sigh. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I didn’t think to ask, I just assumed-”

“That I could drive?”

You nod giving him a sheepish grin this time. 

“As you saw earlier I’m rather accident prone. I think it’s safer for everyone if I leave the driving to others.” He chuckles looking out the window. “What about you? When not rescuing people from cold transit stops or wrapping disasters, what do you daylight as.”

You grimace at the question knowing your answer is nowhere near as impressive as his. “I’m a phone-rep for Interlude Shipping, I work in their tracking department.”

His reaction is not the usual glazed expression you get when you reveal that you work in a call centre, but a look of awe. “You must be so busy this time of year, how do you have energy for volunteering too?”

“I’m used to it.”

“Do you like it there?”

“It’s... a paycheck. I needed a full time position with benefits right out of school and that was what was available. I would have preferred something else but...” You stop yourself, scolding how much you almost revealed. Finding it far too easy to talk to Namjoon. He doesn’t pester you to continue but lets your abrupt end linger in the silence until he points out his house within the estate. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Namjoon nods in agreement with his dimples on full display. “Looking forward to it. Thanks again for the ride.”

After he leaves your car another nervous giggle you’ve been holding in finally escapes you. Three weeks working with this kind, considerate and downright gorgeous man. Though there’s no ring on his finger, he has to be attached to someone. Men like him don’t walk around single for long. Your shoulders fall at the thought, despite the fact that you have no intention of forming an attachment at this time... it’s still too soon. 

Before you even pull out of Namjoon’s driveway, your phone vibrates from the cup holder you stashed it in. Aunt Emma’s name popping up on the display. You press the green button to accept and put her on speaker while you pull out onto the road. 

“Hello my dear, just checking in to see how the first night went?” 

“Good, no great actually. I think you’ll be happy with the result.”

“And your partner? Everything working well with him?”

“Yeah,” You confirm looking up in the rearview mirror taking one last look at Namjoon’s house. “He’s really nice, we already have a system in place so I think we’ll work well together.”

“That’s wonderful to hear. I was worried at first, wondered if I had made the right decision-”

“You did!” You encourage her, not wanting her to change her mind, and make another switch.

“Great, so we’ll carry on as is then. I’ll message Maria to let her know, I think she’s still on shift at the hospital though...” Aunt Emma mutters to herself. “Speaking of which I had to stop by there today and guess who was asking about you?” 

You freeze in the front seat of your car, unable to say his name, but that doesn’t stop your chatty Aunt from continuing on despite your silence. 

“That Jackson, such a nice young man, it’s a pity you-” 

“Aunt Emma, I’m so sorry but I should go. ” You cut her off unwilling to listen to her disappointment over your own personal matter. “It’s getting late and I have work in the morning.”

“Oh of course, no problem dear. Call me if you need anything.” 

When you arrive at your cold and empty apartment. The silence greets you with the usual punch to your gut, just as it has for the past eight months. She should be there to say hello and ask you about your day, just as she always had. But all that’s there to welcome you is the stack of dusty Christmas decor boxes thrown in the corner of the living room. Unwilling to spend another minute alone you sulk off to bed, ready to put another day behind and start the next. But for the first time in a while, you are actually looking forward to a fraction of the never ending cycle. 

...

Whoever said Christmas time is the most wonderful time of year, clearly never worked a customer service job. They’ve never been yelled at for four hours straight, gone to lunch, and then endured another four. With a couple weeks still left until the looming deadline of Christmas you can only imagine what you’ll have to listen to in the coming days. The woes of a parent trying to track down their child's number one gift... it’s enough to send chills down your spine. Just once you’d like to find someone happy on the other end of the line, someone who didn’t need something from you, someone who called just to say hi, and indulge you with a friendly chat. 

With the last call of the day done you throw on your coat, and bolt out of the office before anyone else. Elated by the fact that you have somewhere else to be, happy that someone else is expecting you. Namjoon beats you to the station today, chatting with the other volunteers as they leave. One of them pats you on the arm and delivers a sad smile, you seize with fear and the worry that they had discussed you, but when you find Namjoon beaming without a hint of concern the weight lifts and you can once again forget your loss for now. 

“Hey, how was work?” He asks.

“Good... good.” You cover with a smile not wanting to drag him down. He doesn’t look convinced his eyes narrow and the corner of his lip twitches, but you reciprocate before he can confirm. “How about your day?”

“Quiet, I’ve spent the past few months alongside the curators putting together an exhibit and with it finally finished all that’s left is to wait until it’s over.”

“So you had to stay here for Christmas only to wait for it to end? That’s too bad.”

“There are a couple other tasks I have to attend, an auction, and an event for the patrons, but the tear down on the 24th is pretty important, some of the lenders will want their pieces back in time for Christmas.”

“That’s such a miserable deadline for so much work. Why would they ask you to give up your Christmas Eve to do that? Surely it can be done after the holiday can't it?”

“Not this one, it’s ‘The Gift of Christmas’ Past’ exhibit,” Namjoon explains. “Many people were good enough to donate their family heirlooms for the majority of the season, but come the actual holiday, it’s time for them to return home.”  

You just about fall off your chair in awe. You’ve seen that exhibit advertised everywhere, even been tempted to go yourself, but the thought of going alone has prevented your attendance. “I had no idea, that’s such a popular exhibit, you worked on that?”

“I did, I even helped come up with the idea for it.” Namjoon beams, with a small amount of red rises to the surface of his cheeks. “The curators at the museum have been more than accommodating. I never thought I’d get the chance to step into their roll myself. I was lucky to be given the chance, so you can understand why I had to stay and help them once it’s finished. Of course it’s given me some other opportunities I would never have had in the past too, like the ability to help you here.” 

You nod still looking at him in admiration, while in your mind a further divide falls between you. As friendly as he is to you, it’s obvious that he’s way out of your league. Even if you wanted to pursue something more with him, someone of his status... really it’s a wonder he even looks in your direction, let alone chose to volunteer at this tiny holiday wrapping station.  

Your conversation is interrupted by a mall goer with a bag of gifts. Namjoon helps as best he can, supplying you with tape as he learns over your shoulder. Loaning you his finger to help you knot the ribbon around the gifts. With a sizeable donation left in Namjoon’s care you are both left alone at the table again.

Between clients you do your best to show him how to wrap the small boxes and ready cut paper at your disposal. Though his folding has improved, his use of tape can be considered... excessive. “You shouldn’t need more than three pieces on a present like this.” You chuckle as you catch his hand before it can apply the seventh piece of tape. 

“But your packaging looks so durable compared to mine. How is it supposed to hold together if not for more tape.”

“Years of practice with tighter folds and better adhesive placement.” You analyze his work. “You might be an up and coming art curator but wrapping is my craft.”

Namjoon laughs and grabs a fresh sheet along with the scissors. 

“Should I go fetch my band-aids?” You ask, gazing at the sharp implement with trepidation. 

“No I’ve got this, I’m ready to earn my redemption.” Namjoon folds the paper several times before cutting a rounded edge. “Wrapping might not be my forte, but this I mastered long ago.” He opens up the paper grinning madly as he reveals a perfect snowflake.

You giggle at the innocence of the piece in question. “That is quite impressive, when did you become such a proficient?”

“I’d say I peaked at eight. One evening when it was just my sister and I, we covered my whole house with them. Every surface, every window, plastered with paper snow. Though my parents were less than enthused I like to think of it as my first full art show.”

“What on earth possessed you to do it?” You ask, trying to imagine the look on his parents as they returned home to the indoor flurry.

Namjoon looks up with a heavy expression, for such a lighthearted story why does he look so wary to tell you “A mutual fri-”

But as chance would have it he is once again interrupted by another coming to your station. When the post dinner rush hits you hardly get another chance to chat. 

...

-2 Weeks Until Christmas-

The week passes in much the same way as the past two days, but with each evening session Namjoon is able to improve upon his wrapping skills a little more. To the point where you are comfortable to leave him alone for a few minutes to man the station.

“You’re sure it’s all right if I just run to the washroom for a minute?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I could put up the be back in five minutes sign if you-”

“Go, I can hold down the fort... just leave the band-aids.” You are ready to let out a big sigh when Namjoon holds up his hands in defeat. “Just kidding, I promise, now go.”

You hurry off as fast as you can swearing when you find a line up. By the time that you are finally able to return you find Namjoon finishing up with an attractive woman and her single gift. You smile at her as you join him behind the table, she pauses, caught off guard for a moment but then hands him the donation along with a slip of paper. 

Namjoon opens it as she walks off. Blushing profusely before throwing it in the trash along with the wrapping scraps. 

“What was that about?”

“Nothing... she just must have gotten the wrong impression.”

“Did she give you her phone number?”

Namjoon nods looking down with guilt. 

“And you're not going to keep it? She was gorgeous.”

“What? No, of course not.”

“Right, I assume that wouldn’t go over well with your girlfriend.” You speculate, seeking to figure out his status once and for all.

“No girlfriend.” Namjoon mutters.

“Boyfriend?” 

“No boyfriend either.” Namjoon smiles. “I just wasn’t looking to get her number.”

You look at him in disbelief. If she wasn’t good enough, there’s no way in hell you could ever dream of being with him.

...

The drive home in the evening is rather quiet. Namjoon’s fingers drag across his lips as if in deep compilation. 

“Any big plans for your couple days of freedom?” With Aunt Emma’s team working the weekend that gives both you and Namjoon some time off, but unfortunately apart. 

“What? Oh yes, I suppose.” He answers as though you dragged him from a stupor. “I have an auction to go to tomorrow for work.”

“Buying art for the museum are you?”

“Not exactly in the market to buy. But if you're not busy you should come along, I would love some company.”

“Not because you would love a drive?”

“No, not at all, I was planning on booking a car tonight. I could come pick you up on the way.”

You shake your head. “No, if we’re going together I’ll drive. No need to waste your money on something like that. What time should I pick you up?”

“I’ll have to double check and get back to you but likely late in the morning?” You nod in agreement as he pulls out his phone. “What’s your number?”

You give it to him and your cell vibrates in your pocket as he sends off a text a second later, leaving you with his own.  

“So I guess I will see you tomorrow now then.”

“It’s a date.” Namjoon smiles as he gets out and leaves you in the car. 

You snort in disbelief, staring after him while he runs off to the front door of his house. No, there’s no way, he can’t be serious, it’s not a date, date. The phone vibrates again, reminding you of the unread message he sent, prompting you to look at it before you drive off home.

This was the only phone number I actually wanted.  See you tomorrow,  - Namjoon  

...

You lie in bed caught between denial and anticipation for what’s to come in the next day. Every moment that excitement bubbles up inside, you are forced to push it down with the weight of scepticism. Namjoon was looking to distract from his lonely Christmas, you are just the band-aid to his superficial wound, but would that be so bad? Haven’t you been using him the past week in the same manner, a mode of distraction? The only difference is the depths of your injuries. While his might be a simple cut repaired by time, yours is a laceration straight to the heart, damage that will soon bleed through a flimsy bandage, but at least you can hide it for now, you can conceal the extent of your misery and enjoy the comfort that is him for the holiday. Ripping that band-aid off won’t hurt, not compared to the damage that has already been done.

You look back at your phone smiling at his message, confirming that this is what you want for now, when to your surprise another comes in. 

KNJ: Are you awake? 

You double check the time, 12:23 a little late for a friendly chat isn’t it?

YN: Yeah, everything okay?

KNJ: That depends, what are your thoughts on Hallmark Christmas movies?

You pause in confusion, questioning his motives for such an odd query. Coming up dry you can give him the most truthful answer you can. 

YN: They’re chestnuts.

KNJ: Chestnuts? 🤔

YN: Palatable only when thoroughly roasted. 🔥🔥🔥

Your phone starts ringing a second later, the caller Namjoon. You pick it up to hear him laughing on the other end. “I’ll have to remember that. You up for burning a film? I could use another open fire, there’s a pretty horrible one on their channel right now.”

“I’m sure I could spark an ember of criticism. How bad are we talking?”

“There’s a made up country, a town that looks like it exists solely for the purpose of celebrating Christmas-”

“And let me guess, a prince?”

“You know it?”

“Nope, just following the trend of tropes.” You grab your earbuds and venture out to the living room wrapped in your blanket, a beverage in hand, and ready to turn on your own TV. With one bud lodge in your ear to listen to Namjoon the other is free to take in the cringeworthy dialogue. “My god why were you watching this?”

“Couldn’t sleep, and I thought this would also help put me in the Christmas spirit, but I can’t stop laughing at how bad it is.” Namjoon chuckles deeply as the heroine stumbles over a mere pebble and falls into the hero’s arm. 

“I don’t think you have any right to laugh at that part.” You join him in laughter. “You two appear to have some similarities.”

“Wait, so does this make me the clumsy lead and you the dashingly perfect love interest?”

“Oh most definitely, I’ll be saving your Christmas.”

“I suppose you are pretty perfect.”  

You’re thankful that Namjoon isn’t there to see your response, silently choking on your glass of water, followed by spilling your sip all down your shirt, further emphasising your next point. “I’m not perfect.”

“Well you should let me see that side sometime, or I will continue to feel like this poor woman who is confronted with someone way out of their league.” 

Namjoon thinks that you're out of his league? “No, I’m sorry but in order for me to save your Christmas based on this movie I have to play the perfect hero.” Of course the leading lady swoons in her prince's arms. “I just wish the characters had more depth, I’ve read kids books with a wider emotional range.”

“Me too. And the timing,” Namjoon scoffs. “It’s always so perfect. They always meet at the perfect moment and latch on immediately only to have everything work out in their favour, and it all claims to be a Christmas miracle, it doesn’t work like that.”

“That sounds like someone’s been scorned before on Christmas.”

“Not scorned no. More like a missed opportunity, one that I’ve regretted for a long while.”

 “Anything I can help with?” You ask. “As the supporting lead that is my mission is it not?”

“Maybe, I’ll have to think about it. Unfortunately my dilemma isn’t so easy to solve.”

“I don’t think anyone's dilemma’s are ever as easy or clear cut as theirs.” You yawn as you lay down on the couch and watch the pitiful drama unfold. “Their world is perfect and always has their back through some sort of mystical power or being.”

   “I think people in the real world call that god...” Namjoon chuckles.

“Yeah well, our god is a shitty writer if this is what their creations come to expect.” You murmur, stifling a yawn.  

“Is that a crack in your shining armour I spy?”

“No, just commentary.” Though your own internal defences are askew, and the longer you watch the more you understand why. It’s jealousy, jealousy of how quickly they overcome any tragedy, and how they do so with a picture perfect life, as if the creators left all the negative emotions, the realistic impacts of trauma, on the cutting room floor. If only you were that perfect love interest that Namjoon wanted you to be... maybe you can keep the facade until the end of the holidays, at least one of you can have a better Christmas for it. 

All you have to do is continue ignoring the most painful parts, a practice you are well versed in considering the boxes still looming in the shadowy corner, still unmoved after all this time. You know nothing good will come from unpacking them, there is no comfort inside, the only thing that could help is long gone, the story which your mother used to read to you every Christmas before you moved here. You’ve hunted through those boxes so many times while she was still here with you, but now that she’s gone you don’t even have the desire to look, nor the strength to store them away. 

...

You wake hours later with a loud crumpling sound in your right ear. Your bud still in place, and your call time continues to count past the 7 hour mark. “Namjoon, are you there?” You inquire with a groggy yawn. 

“Fuck... yeah, did I wake you?” 

“It’s fine, sorry I fell asleep.”

“Don’t worry I did too. But unfortunately I seem to have lost an airpod at some point in the night.” The rustling continues as he chats to you. “I refuse to lose another to this couch, it’s taken so many from me already, you’ think I would have learned by now.”

“Oh, then this is a regular occurrence for you? Chatting up women until you fall asleep,” you scoff.

“No! God no, I just usually fall asleep listening to music and then my cushions eat them when I lower my defences.”

“I leave you to battle it out with your sofa, but what time should I pick you up?” 

“Eleven okay with you?” 

You double check the clock, ensuring you have enough time for a shower and to look presentable. “Yeah that works. I’ll see you then.”

...

You pull into the packed parking lot of a large warehouse. With Namjoon looking dapper in a blazer and peacoat. You yourself are glad to have chosen to dress a bit classier than your usual garb for a Saturday afternoon. When he said it was for work you couldn’t risk dressing down. 

But there is still an air of confusion about your reason for being here. If he’s not attending to buy something for the museum or a client, why is his presence required? The items up for auction are not exactly what you expected, with the majority of it being furniture and woven rugs. You tilt your head in confusion as Namjoon eyes up an old wooden desk. 

“Sorry,” He mutters, seeing you as he comes to from his distracted state. “I have a personal weakness for such items.”

“Don’t be, but is that why we're here?”

“No, although it is tempting.” He nods over to a collection of old black and white sketches on the wall across from you, graphite scenes of the city from long ago judging by subject matter and the yellowing of the paper behind the frame. “They’re the real reason we’re here. When I heard of this estate sale I knew that some of those works would likely come to market. I’m here to find out who buys them, and hopefully see if we can secure a possible loan for the museum in the future.”  

“So how do you do it? How do you convince them to part with such pieces other than that dangerous smile of yours?”

Namjoon humours you, flashing his most coveted weapon. “Many of the artworks found at estate sales like this, they’ve fallen into disrepair. They often haven’t been cared for, likely kept in some musty room where the humidity damages them. The museum has a team of top rated and highly respected conservators who would be able to properly preserve it and slow any further deterioration, and in exchange for their services we ask for a short term loan of the art. 

“A win-win.” 

“I like to think so, but some people are rather protective of their investment. It can be a tricky negotiation which I have been on both sides of when I worked for the private sector.” 

“Which do you prefer more?”

“Definitely the public. The museum doesn’t pay as much, but the audience and notoriety far greater. I really hope that I can continue my work with them once my initial contract ends.”

“I assume securing this for them will help in that goal?” You nod to the pieces, admiring the sought after collection. 

“One can only hope. Who knows, maybe I’ll get my Christmas miracle like the movies promised.” He jokes, putting his hand on your shoulder and leading you on. 

While you and Namjoon continue to look around at the lots up for bidding, he proceeds to fawn over the wooden art and furniture, taking pictures and looking up the makers. 

You can’t help but enjoy his interest, watching his eyes go wide and his mouth gasp when he’s found something which intrigues him. “Have you ever purchased something for yourself at one of these?” 

“A few things, tables, chairs, and books too. It’s a great place to find unique pieces, or things lost to the past.” He gives you a shy smile. “Is there anything you’d like to look for?”

A possible item springs to the forefront of your mind. “Do they have any books here now?” 

Namjoon grins at your request and leads you over to several crates filled to the brim with books. All the copies inside look to be older editions of epic novels, nothing like what you hope to find. Your heart sinks as you let out a sigh of disappointment.

“Can I help?”

“Nah, I think I’m out of luck. I was looking for a kid’s picture book. I briefly met someone at the wrapping station who found a copy second hand, must have been at a sale like this. I was hoping I would have the same success, but that seems like a bit of a far reach.” Had it not been their gift to someone else you would have made them an offer for it or even gotten their name at the very least, but you were so distracted at the time... all you can see and remember to this day was the book in front of you.

“I’m sorry-” Namjoon starts with an unnecessary apology, it wasn’t his fault that you lost the favourite book of your youth, that you missed the chance to give your mother one last glimpse of the pages with you before she passed.

“It’s fine,” You cut him off not wanting to dwell on the loss or risk deteriorating that perfect cover right here in front of him, in front of everyone, when he has something important to attend to. “Should we go find seats before they start the auction?”

Namjoon nods, seeming to examine your eyes with careful study, but he will find no tears, no dampness there, those are locked away tight. He escorts you to a seat near the back. “This way we can get a better view of those bidding without looking out of place.”

The auction lots pass by with many remaining silent. Namjoon points out several antique dealers to you that are snapping up many of the pieces. But the rest of the buyers all appear to be waiting for the same prize that Namjoon is. 

“Do you have any favourites to win?” You whisper to him as the collection is carried into view.

“I’m hoping for anyone I’ve dealt with in the past.” Namjoon nods in the direction of a middle aged woman dressing in a fur trimmed coat and strands of pearls draped around her neck. “Mrs. Coleman already has a few works in one of the exhibits, and Mr. Roth over there.” He turns to a man wearing a tweed jacket and a sturdy wooden cane in hand. “Is one of the most notable patrons of the museum.”

Silence falls in the room as the auctioneer takes up the gavel again and describes the works. Many around you sit up a little straighter as Namjoon’s eyes dart around at those he thinks might attempt to purchase.

The bids flood in, with very few gaps for breath as the numbers are rattled off. It takes only two minutes before the going price is more than your annual salary. You lower yourself, pooling in your seat as the extravagant wealth is thrown around you. 

Once the pace slows, Namjoon's face highlights his concern, his eyes glancing back and forth between two people, the older lady in mink he spoke of before, and an unknown man with a cell pressed to his ear. 

As the wooden hammer drops so do the corners of Namjoon’s lips. 

“And sold to the gentleman on the phone number three-two-eight, number three-two-eight for sixty-five thousand.” The auctioneer announces. 

“Shit.” Namjoon mutters under his breath.

“What, what happens now?”

“Now we have an anonymous buyer who I have no ability to meet or advise.” He sighs, hanging his head, with his fingers dragging across his mouth again.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper as he nods next to you taking several deep breaths. Your hand reaches out to his arm and he turns to you with a small smile.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll figure something out, but I might as well make the most out of my time here.” With the auction now over he rises from his seat and approaches one of the museum's patrons with an outreached hand. “Mr. Roth, good to see you, you’ll be attending the final night of the exhibit I hope, and who is this with you...”

While Namjoon continues to make pleasantries and exchange business cards you keep your eye on the sketches watching as they are rolled behind the desk and packed away in crates. You approach the area where one of the clerks is recording and distributing the information for the now rightful owners, with a mob of bidders descending on him for their newly purchased items so they might leave as soon as possible. 

It would seem that this business too is feeling the crunch of Christmas. A flurry of paperwork is exchanged in haste passing from one hand to the next, until one signed receipt of purchase escapes his notice and falls to the ground in front of you. Picking it up you wait for the crowd to clear, giving the clerk a chance to recover before you approach with the lost sheet, setting it on the desk before him. His confused gaze soon changes to outright shock over his loss when he realizes what you’ve returned.

He thanks you profusely, causing you wonder how much strife he would have encountered had you not been there to return it. “No problem, you look like you have a lot on your plate.” You smile politely, attempting to soothe your fellow casualty of the Christmas rush. “I just have a question for you though, if that’s okay?” 

“Not at all how can I help?” He agrees, his stance far more relaxed than it was with the horde a few moments before. 

“My friend, he was hoping to get in contact with the purchaser of those sketches there, on behalf of a museum. I don’t suppose there’s any way we could get a hold of them, is there?”

“I’m sorry but not at liberty to divulge that ma’am.” Your rising hope falls, you knew it would be a long shot but you didn’t want to leave without trying. “However... if there’s a phone number or information regarding the museum’s interest I can include that in the paperwork to send off along with the purchase.”

“Really? You would do that?”

When the clerk confirms, you immediately turn on your heel and take a step in Namjoon’s direction before bumping into his solid chest, not realizing that he had already come to find you. 

“What are you doing-”

“Getting you that miracle.” You grab one of his business cards from his hand, and turn back around to give it to the clerk who tucks it into the envelope along with the other documentation. “Thank you.” You smile at the clerk who returns the gesture.

“And you said I have a dangerous smile?” Namjoon mutters as he leads you away with a chuckle. “What did he say exactly?”

“That he would include it with the paperwork for the sale. I just hope they will reach out and call you.”

“Me too.” Namjoon smiles, but it doesn't quite appear to reach his eyes. “Shall we head out. I think I’m done here.”

The drive home is rather quiet, the weight of Namjoon’s gloom hanging in the air and he makes no attempt to hide it. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just trying to figure out where to go from here,” he groans. “Those sketches were going to be the start of something new for me. I know the buyer might still come through but I’m not going to hold my breath. I need to keep searching for what comes next, I’m just a little lost, but I’ll find my path again soon.”

“You make it sound so easy.” 

“Sometimes it is, sometimes life will drop it right in front of me and other times I will have to search for it, but that’s a problem for after the holidays.” Namjoon looks out his window at the lights which start to come alive as you drive home. “Are you ready for the big day?”

“Christmas?” You give a nervous laugh, “No, I haven’t even put up any decorations.”

“Why not?!” Namjoon asks in alarm. 

“Just haven’t really felt the need this year. There’s no one there to enjoy them but myself.”

“Which makes it all the more important to put them up.” Namjoon sits up in his seat, his whole persona changing. “I could help you if you’d like?”

You wince over the quandary. With your decorations sitting in your living room under an inch of dust it might arouse some confusion, and his heart would likely sink if he knew how long they actually rested there for. “I’m not sure I’m quite ready for it yet. Maybe another time?”

...

-1.5 Weeks Until Christmas-

Work continues to degrade as the countdown progresses. The only thing getting you through the shifts is the thought of Namjoon’s help at the stand. But as soon as Christmas is over, you wonder if your friendship will go the same way as the festive season, cast aside like the wrapping of the gifts you tended to in the weeks prior. 

After a few days of busy shifts you’re both thankful to make it to another close. But when you are packing up the station Namjoon’s phone starts to ring. He looks down in confusion at the number without a contact attached. “Do you mind?” 

“No, not at all.”

He grins as he answers the phone pacing further back into the vacant shop space and away from the sounds of the echoing mall. You continue to count off the deposit, and roll the wrapping paper. Trying your best not to listen, to give Namjoon his privacy, however you can’t help but notice the happiness in his tone, spotting his dimples from across the room when you sneak a glance. When you grab to move the last box of bows Namjoon ends his call. Tears glisten in the corners of his eyes accompanied by the widest smile you’ve ever seen from him.

“That was- that was the buyer.” He explains as he comes to help you with the final box, taking it from your hands and placing it on the back shelf. “He wants to meet with me this weekend.”

He’s so close, vibrating with an overwhelming delight. His arms move around you as though he is about to pull you in for a gracious hug. You start to congratulate him as he embraces you, “Really?! That’s gre-” only to be cut off when his lips come for yours instead. Once the shock evaporates, you start to appreciate the heat of the moment, the warmth of his skin, the softness of his mouth. Your hands reach up to his toned shoulders and neck pulling him down, diminishing the space between you. Breathing him in like this with your eyes closed, nothing else matters in the moment, nothing other than his firm chest pushing back against yours, his hands on your waist gripping at your shirt.  

With a deep sigh and a bite to his own lip he pulls back. “Sorry I just-”

“Don’t, don’t apologize.” You cut him off this time.  

“I can’t even begin to thank you.” 

“I hardly did anything.” You laugh at the extremeness of his appreciation, though a small part of you dies when you realize his kiss was nothing more than a gesture of gratitude.

 “That’s not true...” He responds, giving you his wide eyes and a shy smile.

On the drive home your companion can barely contain his delight, breaking into random smiles and laughter as he informs his coworkers of the success via text. 

“There’s this event...” Namjoon starts, as you pull in front of his home. “At the museum on the twenty-third, a week from today, I was wondering if you’d like to go with me.” 

“Next Wednesday? But we have a shift at the wrapping station.”

“I spoke to Emma a few days ago and she agreed to cover if we both wanted to go.”

“Emma, making a change so close to Christmas? I don’t buy it. What did you offer her in return?” You ask with a critical gaze. The woman runs such a tight schedule, only something great or important would have prompted her to agree.

“My next year of service.” Namjoon confesses, he looks down at his feet as though he might buckle from the embarrassment. 

“Next year? You already promised to work it?”

“If you want me there that is. I’ll practice more in the meantime, I promise I won’t leave you to all of the difficult packages.” Namjoon chuckles. “But what do you say, will you go with me?”

“Ye-yeah I would love it’s just...” You stutter trying to come up with a good excuse but your brain draws a blank leaving only the truth. “I don’t know how well... how well I’ll fit in there.”

“What? No, why would you think that?” Namjoon places his hand on your leg while you drive. A move which causes the both of you to pause in reaction and him to retreat. “Trust me when I say you belong there more than anyone else.”

You nod your head and give him a small smile, wishing more than anything his hand would return. “I’ll come if you want me there. What’s the attire?”

“Semi-formal, and don’t worry about driving I’ll pick you up.” 

...

-2 Days Until Christmas-

You stand in front of your mirror, wearing a dress which fits your shape perfectly, but stretches your pocket book significantly. The price tags hanging down from the zipper taunt you, tempting you to rip them away, to commit to the indulgence. Even if it’s only for a night, the payoff in the end might be worth the overpriced lace. You give in with a snip of the scissors and a swallow of guilt, letting the printed cardstock hit your bedroom floor. 

 You’ve spent the past couple of hours leading up to this moment in a fit of stress cleaning, disposing of the dust bunnies. Now at least if Namjoon comes over after... you won’t be completely off guard.

The phone on your bedside vibrates with a new message.

KNJ: Just pulling in.

YN: Be right down.

Sliding your shoes on and grabbing what you need, you leave your empty apartment with a growing smile on your face. The moment you can see the car from the buildings foyer both Namjoon and the driver exit the vehicle, though Namjoon is quick to wave the driver back to his seat, choosing instead to hold the door for you himself. 

The thoughtful gesture is made more appealing as if it gives you a full view of your date in his dark three piece suit, his hair tamed back framing his handsome face, whose gaze appears to be giving you the once over for you too.

“You wrap up nice.” Namjoon jokes.

“Of course, I couldn’t embarrass you now could I? Have to land that first impression.”

“You would never. Besides I’m sure my colleagues will be fascinated to know who has enough courage to teach me how to wrap.”

“And how do you plan on introducing me to those colleagues of yours? As your date or your teacher?” You laugh.

“I was actually hoping I could introduce you as my girlfriend.” 

“Your girlfriend for tonight?” You panic, not expecting this development. “Wait, is this one of those fake dating scenarios? Did you tell them you had one and then-”

“I think we’ve been watching too much Hallmark.” Namjoon laughs and shakes his head. “No this is not one of those scenarios, but I’ll take whatever form of companionship you are the most comfortable with.”

He gives you the stare of a man who is looking for more, but you know he won't need you once the holidays pass. His loneliness is temporary, yours is permanent. You’d rather not get your hopes up only to have them lost as he fades away in the cold gloom of January when his family returns. “Let’s see where it goes.”

Upon arrival Namjoon leads you through the massive doors by hand, taking your coat and checking it. The main hall just off the entrance is filled with patrons and staff all mingling and drinking while dining on tiny hors d’oeuvres. You look at the crowd with apprehension.  

Namjoon’s fingers interlace with yours again, a grip clearly intended to give you confidence. “I’ll introduce you to some of the staff first.” 

Several people congratulate Namjoon on the exhibit as he passes, he responds giving them a brief thank you as he ushers you through the crowd. Stopping at a small group of two, who greet Namjoon with a warm welcome. 

“Thank god you’re here, people have kept asking for the brains behind the exhibit.”

“And why didn’t you answer them.” Namjoon smiles before turning to introduce you to them, following up with the man who just spoke. “This is Eric Nam, a curator who I worked on the project with.”

“Don’t pass the torch, we both know it was your idea, I just helped put it into motion.” His coworker smiles gazing at you. “And you must be the one Namjoon has talked so much about.” 

The heat rises to your face as you look to Namjoon who confirms the statement with his own embarrassment. “Thank you Eric for sharing that with her...”

“No problem, it’s the least I could do for someone who gave you the insp-”

Namjoon coughs and shakes his head, cutting off his verbose friend. 

You're about to question your partner himself when the other colleague of his starts asking you questions. “What do you do for a living Ms....” You remind her of your name while Namjoon spotting refreshments wanders off with a whispered promise to get you both a drink. 

“I-I work for Interlude Shipping, in their tracking department.” You explain clasping your hands together in an attempt to settle your nerves.

“Oh, how nice...” The false quaintness in her tone is matched with a smirk as she takes a sip of wine. “Maybe you can help me find out if my sister’s present will arrive in time tomorrow.” 

“Valerie...” Eric growls. 

“What? I’m merely curious about her employment.” She smirks at him before continuing to her inquisition. “How long have you worked there? Did you have to get a degree for your role?” 

“No,” This is exactly what you were afraid of coming here, you just didn’t think the judgement would be coming from someone who works with Namjoon. “I started there right after high school. I didn’t have the luxury to go to an elite school to work in a place like this.” 

Eric comes over and claps you on the back. “Neither did Valerie; she just has family on the board.” Giving a coy smile to his coworker who scowls and stalks off without another word to you.  “In fact you’ve actually done more work here than her in the past month. I hear you’ve been helping Namjoon secure the collection we’ve been after?” 

You nod looking off after the departed curator, worried as to what impact your interaction could have with Namjoon’s position here.

“Don’t worry about her. She’s just bitter that Namjoon didn’t ask her to accompany him here.”

“Oh, does she- do they-”

“Fuck no, but if she’s not everyone’s first choice she’s not happy.” Eric gets in a little closer. “You don’t have to worry about Namjoon looking elsewhere, if he’s at all hesitant it’s just because he’s a little cautious with you.”

“Why would he be cautious?”

“Why would who be cautious?” Namjoon asks, handing you a drink as he appears by your side again. 

 “Mr. Roth, that man should be careful. I heard he had hip surgery recently.” Eric responds, cutting in with a lie to cover your discussion. “It's good of him to still join us tonight, but enough about that, why don’t you go show her the exhibit before it gets too crowded in there?”

Namjoon offers up his arm in agreement. “I suppose we can get started on the tour, if you’d like.”

“Yes please,” You answer, threading your arm through his. “Thanks again Eric, it was nice meeting you.”

“You too, I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” 

The stand next to the entrance bears all the names of those involved in the creation and a countless list of those who loaned out pieces to make it possible. “There’s so many involved, how large is this exhibit?”

“Not too big, you’ll see why there’s such a long list soon.”

When the door opens you find yourself in a hallway amidst what you can only describe as a snowstorm. The walkway, made to look like an alley set adrift in snow, with flickering lights and paper creations hanging from the ceiling. “Did you make any of those?” You ask, grinning as you squint through the flurrying beams.

“No, I left those to the talents of the students who came by on school field trips. It didn’t take them long before we had enough.”

“Find any new prodigies?”

“Several.” He answers, before pointing to the mounted photos on the wall. “But these works here are some of my favourites.” The pictures are framed to seem as though the viewer is looking in through the pains of a window to happy holiday scenes. From unwrapping presents around the tree to the busy crowds of your very own mall, each image sets out to draw from you a sense of nostalgia. 

“I can see why.” You find yourself lingering on the last of the photos by an accredited local photographer, savouring the display as much as you can, worried that it might end too soon. 

“Don’t worry,” Namjoon whispers, taking your hand in an eager urge to press on, “There’s plenty more to look at.” He points to the end of the hallway, where you find another door, though this one is dressed with a knocker and wreath looking as if it’s the entrance to someone's home.

You open the door to reveal a series of rooms connected by one long hallway. The first you step into you washes over you with warmth and comfort, the sound of a cracking fire surrounds you while the light of fake embers flows from the side. Set up through the room are tables of items from old to new ranging from Christmas tree ornaments, and household decorations to handwritten cards. “All of these-”

“Were loaned by families from the region, they gave a piece of their history and traditions up for most of the season so everyone could enjoy it. Over here we have...”

You could spend hours sitting and admiring in this room alone, but more than anything you want to push on more to see Namjoon’s excitement in sharing it with you. Each room features a different spot of the home. A chilly shed with vintage toboggans and sleds, a kitchen, stuffed with cookbooks and the smells of baking featuring countless cookie cutters of every shape and size. 

The next room is a little unusual and different from the rest, throwing you off for a moment, when the distinct scent of pine hits your nose. In the centre you find what look to be the replication of a massive trunk, and above false branches twinkling with lights. All round in a circle you find toys in glass cases spanning generations, when it hits you. “Are we under the Christmas tree?”

Namjoon gives you his coveted dimpled grin. “Yeah, do you like it?”

“I do. I can’t believe you managed all of this.” You exclaim hurrying between each display like a kid on Christmas morning. From wagons, and Rubik’s cubes, all the way to Furbies and gaming systems he has the whole collection of popular toys throughout the years.  

Namjoon beams with pride once you’ve circled the entirety of the fake trunk and the presents beneath it. “Only one room left, but I think you’ll like this one the most.”

You're ushered into the next, a dimly lit space, a bed with a quilted cover stands in the centre, and on the walls you find countless story books, pinned open to so their stunning art is on display, papering the room with climatic holiday scenes and loveable characters. In one you find Scrooge meeting the ghost of Christmas past, in another you witness the Grinch save the sleigh from a perilous fall. Namjoon was right, this is without a doubt your favourite. While people filter in and out, you take your time looking at each set of pages. Your pace slow and steady, until you reach the special story that stops you entirely, the book you lost long ago, and have been trying to find ever since. Drawn on the pages before you is a little blue koala, with a pale purple nose, round ears, and a smile that lights up his face as he cuts out dozens of snowflakes. Namjoon stands behind you with a hand on your shoulder as you gaze at the book you know to be titled ‘Koya’s Christmas.’ 

You take a deep breath, while trying not to bend to the tears that threaten to break from your eyes. Focusing your attention instead to seek out the owner of the book, but unlike most there is no nameplate attached to this desirable artifact. “Namjoon, who loaned this? Is there any way I could contact them?”

When he gives you a sad smile, your gut clenches over the possibility that this might be a similar issue to what happened at the auction, a lender who wishes to remain anonymous. The only difference here being that you’ll fight Namjoon for the information if you have to. You’ve already let this book escape from you last year, you refuse to let it happen again. “Please, I’ll-” Just when you are about to plead with Namjoon’s integrity, another memory of your past walks into the room, but this one unfortunately has more tragic ties. “Shit,” you whisper, shifting to put your date between you and the newcomer. 

Namjoon catching the change in your expression immediately reaches out in concern. “What? What’s wrong?”

“There's someone I know just over there,” You nod in the direction behind Namjoon. “I’d like to avoid him if I can. Sorry, it-it’s complicated. ”

 Namjoon puts his hands on your shoulders, eyeing a path the closest exit without letting go of you. “Do you want to leave?”

“If that’s okay?” And just when you thought you were free, when you were ready to make a break for the door. The man in question, spots you and calls out your name.

You turn to face him, trying your best to keep your tone even and your lips pulled into a smile. “Jackson? Hey, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s been so long, not since...” Thankful he stops, not dragging up the subject you wish to avoid. 

Namjoon moves closer, moving his arm from your shoulder around your waist, a comforting and protective gesture. “Dr. Wang... I had no idea the two of you were acquainted.” 

“You know him?” You ask Namjoon, your concern rocketing over what else your date might become privy to. 

“Dr. Wang was the phone bidder. I invited him here tonight to see the work we do.”

“The exhibit was impressive, I can’t wait to see what you have planned next.” Jackson confirms. 

“I should go and let the two of you discuss-” You ready to step away when Namjoon’s hand grabs yours and Jackson calls your name again.

“No reason for you to leave, we should catch up.”

“May-maybe later?” You plead with him fighting back the tears, pushing down the memories his presence drags up. “Sorry I just, I need to go.”

You pull your hand free and race to the exit.  

“Wait.” You can hear Namjoon call behind you. Though you continue to proceed out the exhibit and towards the closest exit outside, breaking into the cold evening air, only to find that he still followed. “Let me call for the car and we can go together.”

You stop in realization that your running will not deter him, he’ll pursue you unless you give him a reason otherwise. “No you should stay, this is your big event, I won’t ruin it for you.”

“Not without you.”

“Please Namjoon,” you beg, adamant that he return. “I don’t belong in there, I don’t fit in and I never will. Even when I try...” The ghosts of your past have a way of finding you and destroying your facade.

“I’ve told you before you belong in there more than anyone else-”

“That’s not true. I can barely keep myself together. I can’t, I can’t go back in, I'm sorry.”

“I don’t understand, what does Dr. Wang have to do with it? Did he hurt you? Did he-”

“No! No, he did nothing of the sort. Jackson was always very kind to me. Don’t let me affect your plans or any arrangement, you should go back and talk to him, I just can't be there.”  

“You think I’m going to just drop you for him, especially when he makes you so uncomfortable? No, I’m leaving with you.”

“Fuck, just... please listen to me. He is a good man, he’s a good doctor, you would be foolish to give up this chance.”

“A good doctor...” Namjoon pauses as a grimace hits his face. “Does he have something to do with your mother?”

“How-How do you know about that?” 

“I didn’t mean to pry, I swear. It's just, when I was first talking to Emma about you, out of concern she opened up about your past... about your mother, about your loss.”  

“She told you?” Aunt Emma, you should have known she would do something like that, god forbid at least one person not know your history. “Then all of this, these past few weeks were they all out of pity?” You should have known, there was no way he would like someone like you. It was all out of sorrow for what you’ve been through.

“Not pity no, I like you, I like you a lot. When Emma said you were pushing her and so many others away... I concealed it out of fear of losing you too. I wanted you to open up about it until you were ready. I was just trying to help you get through this.”

You look up at the museum, drawing a distressing connection between Namjoon’s daily life and you. “Why? You think I’m some abandoned project you rescued from a deceased’s estate? One for you to mend, and later show like an achievement? You should have just left me where I was, instead of breaking me further.”  

   Namjoon’s hands immediately pull back from you. “I never meant to hurt you. Only help you move on, you can’t deny that you are frozen in place. You have so much more potential, but you're living in denial.”

“I live there because it hurts less...” You snap back in fury, as he exposes your painful flaws. “I live there so I can work, so I can help others.”

“But what about you? When will you let someone help you?”

You step away unable to answer his question, turning your back on him you race to the sidewalk to hail a nearby taxi, refusing to let him see a single tear fall. 

Once home, you crawl into bed after throwing the dress to the floor. This was so far from the evening you had hoped it to be, with you instead left alone to ruminate on Namjoon’s words. Despising all the evidence he laid bare against you, turning it over again and again in your mind until your morning alarm startles you out of your stupor. Signalling for the last shift before your break for the holidays. 

...

-Christmas Eve- 

It’s finally here, the worst of all days at the call centre. With your eyes heavy from a lack of rest you take a seat at your desk with an extra large coffee in hand. On your computer you have this morning's team email pulled up, and attached to it a list of de-escalation tactics. You’ll need them today because if people don’t get their package by the end of the routes this evening, there’s no hope for tomorrow morning. 

The call board on your phone is already lighting up like a Christmas tree, but you know those little embers to be fuelled by wrath, fury and unkept promises of delivery dates.   

You try your best to remain calm during the egregious conversations. Offering up tips and tricks to parents who are worried that this will be the year that their child gives up on Santa because your company failed to deliver. 

Your lunch break can’t come soon enough. But when you finally check your own phone it’s littered with texts from Namjoon. Messages of concern, apologies, and the hopes that he will still see you at the wrapping station tonight. He even sent a picture of your abandoned coat and promised to bring it along. 

Fuck, you had completely forgotten about you wrapping shift together. Just one more night, then you can put it all behind you again. If you can just keep your cover for a few more hours then it’ll all be over and Aunt Emma will have what she was promised. 

You send Namjoon a quick message confirming that you will be there, but not promising any more before you head back to your desk. 

The calls get progressively worse with several people using foul language and demanding to speak to your supervisor, you try to talk them down as best you can knowing any call passed on to the higher ups will reflect poorly on your efforts.

Until one woman calling in search of her package finally wears you down, insulting you, your profession, even your family.

“Ma’am I’m sorry but if you continue to speak to be in such a way I am well within my right to disconnect the call.” A desperate bluff, your superiors would rather them end the call than you, you’ve been penalized for it before, and you’ll be damned if it happens again. But unfortunately she calls your hand.

“You will not! I have spent hours on the line trying to reach anyone. The shortsightedness of your company and staff is all too apparent.” 

“It’s the holiday sea-”

 “I know what time of year it is, but it seems your staff doesn’t realize Christmas is tomorrow!” 

“You ordered your package past the guarantee date, we could not insure-”

“Now you listen to me, if there was any form of intelligence in that office you’d be working hard to ensure that all packages make it out before tomorrow morning, but instead you just sit on your ass fielding phone calls and giving excuses so you don’t have to actually go out and do honest labour. You must be the biggest disappointment to your family, not even having a proper job. How can you go home and face them knowing you've left so many without their gifts?”

With the woman's last insult, something inside you finally snaps, giving you the freedom to do what you’ve dreamed of for so long. “I don’t,” you pronounce, building up to take your final shot at both her and your employment. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to let you go, as I’d rather not listen to your nonsensical bitching. So merry fucking Christmas to you ma’am, I suggest you go spend it with your own family if they’re willing to put up with your pompous ass.” You hang up the phone and pull off the headset, refusing to answer the next blinking light that comes on to replace it.

You just sit there looking at it denying the next caller their chance at verbal abuse, and your company's lax policy to protect you from it. The chatter of apologies continue to echo around you as your coworkers press on, but after the years of abuse you can no longer hold it in. Your company always said that this position was a stepping stone to greater things, that opportunities would come you just had to wait a little longer, but after being shackled by circumstances, and no forthcoming higher step to take, you refuse to press on any longer. 

...

You pull into the mall parking lot, far too early for your slot at the wrapping stand, with the contents of your desk now stationed in the trunk of your car. Taking refuge in the women's bathroom cleaning your face of the tears you shed on the way over as you try not to think too much about what you’ve just done. After refusing to concede and admit to any wrong doing you quit, telling them to shove their shitty policies right back where they came from.

Namjoon was right... and with the mall closing early tonight you’ll only have two hours with him, two hours to smooth the tension over and allow for an amicable goodbye while maintaining your cover. 

He’s already waiting for you, with your coat in hand, when you show up. The look of pity that you never wanted to see grace his face directed at you. “Are you okay?”

“Fine... I just would prefer if we didn’t talk about last night. I’m sorry for what I said, and now I just want to let it all go if that’s okay with you?” You smile up at him extending the olive branch.

Namjoon nods looking down at the floor as his hands habitually fold a scrap piece between his fingers. The silence between you is drowned out by the carols echoing down the emptying halls of the mall.

“Didn’t expect it to be so slow.” Namjoon mutters after what seems like an age with no one coming to the stand.

“On Christmas eve? Yeah generally people are home by now, spending time with their-” You force yourself to stop, unable to say a word which will bring sorrow to your heart and loneliness to Namjoon’s.  

 “I’m sorry I can’t do this,” Namjoon interjects. “I want to talk about last night, I need to talk about it.”

“Now is not the time.”

“There’s no one here but you and me. It’s just us, the mall is closing, it's our last shift, if not now when?”

“Anytime but now. The last twenty-four hours have been the worst in my life since-since...” You take a deep breath burying the wave of sadness and regret back down in your chest refusing to let it out. “Please, just forget it okay?”

“Not until you stop shielding yourself like that.” Namjoon scolds you. “I’m tired of you living in fear that your tears will erode your cover, and that your anger will tear it away entirely. I’m tired of you thinking that people will only appreciate you if you maintain this perfectly wrapped state. You might think it’s pretty, that it’s convenient for everyone else, but you are only keeping others out.” 

“Maybe I keep it on so that you won’t be disappointed in what you find when it’s discarded. A sad woman, with no direction, no dreams, unable to cope with loss, and I suppose I can add unemployed to the list now. Is that what you want to see? Is that what you want to find?”

“That’s not all you are... and as for your job, I’m sorry but fuck it. It’s about time you moved on to better things, that place was only holding you back, you deserve so much more.”

“No I don’t, do you want to know why I worked there? Do you? I took that job to make sure she got the care she needed. I promised her when she got better I would quit and find something else, but she never did. But if I leave now I’m accepting the fact that she’s gone... that she doesn’t need me anymore, because I couldn’t do enough to keep her here.” The first tear falls breaking through the long standing divide.

“Staying there wouldn’t have brought her back. Tormenting yourself by remaining frozen in place, won’t bring her back. It’s Christmas for god sake and you are being kind to everyone else but yourself.” 

“This isn’t Christmas for me. If it was, she would be here... not you. I’m tired too. I'm so tired of looking at her chair and- and-”

Namjoon wraps his arms around you pulling you forward as your emotions tear through the shroud. He moves you to the back of the vacant store sitting you among the boxes. “I’ll be right back okay?” You nod, while he tugs the table in and drags the gate down to indicate that you are now closed. When he returns his eyes too are starting to redden. His hands brush through your hair, the side of his palm pressing on your cheek and catching your tears. After seeing one of his own fall you crush yourself against his chest, clinging harder to him than before. His lips touch the top of your head, his hands rubbing on your back and arms as he waits, waits for you to be the first to pull away. The lights for every other store shut off around you the music lowers, all that’s left is the retreating chatter of those going to celebrate the eve of Christmas, and still you hold on to him. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been a very good substitute.” He whispers, encouraging you to finally lean back and admit your denial, accepting his efforts to help, when you yourself wanted to do the same for him. 

“Don’t say that, it was never going to be a happy holiday for me, just something I needed to get past. But for you, I at least wanted to make yours better, I’m sorry I wasn’t a very good one either.”

“You never were a substitute. You were the one I wanted to spend the holidays with. A different Christmas than usual but no less enjoyable.” 

“That’s sweet of you to say.” You smile, but you doubt it’s true. “I suppose we should go...” 

“What about all the supplies?”

“Emma will come by in a few days to collect it all.” You grab the small donation from the lock box and seal it in the plastic pouch, while Namjoon rummages through his own bag. “Do you still want a ride home?”

“If you're offering, I would love one.” The flap of his satchel closes as he stops his search and instead goes with you to the bank and finally your car. You hadn’t checked the forecast for tonight so finding your car buried in a few inches of snow comes as an unexpected sight. At least with Namjoon’s help cleaning it off is a quick task.

Once inside you both warm your hands on the sputtering heater, changing them on the wheel as you continue to thaw your fingers while you drive. 

“Do you have any plans for the next couple of days?” Namjoon presses, though hesitant in his tone.

“Maybe look for some jobs, and take a good long nap?” You answer with a dark chuckle, still preferring to miss the entire holiday if you could. “You?”

“No, nothing in mind. But if you wake up and want to come over, you're more than welcome to spend it at my place.”

You return both hands to the wheel as the road becomes more difficult to drive on, your tires slipping here and there on the ice beneath the snow. “I’ll think about it, though depending on how much snow we get tonight we might both be stranded at home.”

You pull through the neighbourhood gates and up Namjoon’s driveway. With the car stopped he once again dives into his leather bag and pulls out a thin rectangular gift he looks to have wrapped himself. Dressed as per usual, with far to many pieces of tape, he hands it over to you. “I know this won’t make up for everything, but I want you to have this. Consider it a very belated Christmas gift.” 

“Belated? But Christmas isn’t until tomorr-” You take the present and succeed in pulling back the wrapping to reveal the book that you were reunited with just the night before. “Oh...” You look up from the cover to find the return of the sad smile on his face you saw in the museum. “But if this is late then, last Christmas, it-it was you? You were the one at the stand... with this?”

...

-One Year Ago-

You are counting down the hours and minutes until the mall closes, until you can pick your mother up from her doctor's appointment and head home, to your promised tradition of putting up the decorations. The past few weeks have been so busy, with work, volunteer shifts, and her treatments at the hospital, you’ve made it all the way to Christmas eve with the tree and ornaments still packed away in boxes, sitting in the corner of your living room since December first. 

Aunt Emma is currently taking your mother’s position at the cashbox, thanks to the scheduling of the last minute check up. You light up your phone again checking the time, only an hour left. 

“You can head out if you want my love,” Aunt Emma offers while swaying and humming to the carols. “It’s quiet enough for me to manage myself.”

You grin embarrassed by your desire for a hasty departure. “No it’s fine. I’m still waiting for the phone call to say she’s done, otherwise I’ll just end up waiting at the hospital.”  

“Suit yourself.” She stands up to look down the halls of the mall. “Oh, I think we might have someone, he’s heading this way. He’s cute too, you should give him your number and put that mother of yours at ease.”

“Aunt Emma, I don’t need your dating-” You look in the direction she was speaking of losing the rest of your words when you find a tall beaming man coming closer to your station.

“If you need me I’ll just be in the back fetching more ribbon.” 

“But we have plenty.”

“Doesn’t hurt to be prepared.” She waves herself off when he makes it to your table.

“Hi,” He greets you with the warmest smile and an even tone. “I was wondering if I could get these wrapped together?” He holds up a bag of gifts which he hands over to you.

“Of course. Any preference on paper?”

“Whatever you think is best, it’s for my mom. Just a bottle of her favourite perfume and something a little more special.”

You open the bag to find a small box containing the fragrance, and the other what looks to be a kids picture book. But what initially seems to be an odd choice for his mother, slams your chest with nostalgia when you see the cover and read the title.

“Koya’s Christmas.” You laugh with delight, you can’t stop yourself from smiling when you examine the artistry. The memories it brings back is enough to make your eyes well with tears.

“You know it?” The man asks, looking pleasantly stunned. 

“Know it? I had it memorized as a child. I loved it so much I couldn't bear it when it was packed away at the end of Christmas each year.”

“Me neither, I flat out refused to let it go, I read it year round to the point where our old copy is currently falling apart on the shelf. Even made snowflakes to put in my windows like he did.”

“That’s right, that scene was one of my favourites. May I?” You gesture asking him for permission to look through it. He nods just as excited as you by the concept of something so sentimental. As you flip through the book you recall the beautiful storyline of a koala living in Australia, one who is so upset that they must celebrate Christmas in the summer, never getting to have a while Christmas described in the songs and shown in the movies. But once Koya talks to the leaves in the trees, and the other small animals of the forest, the realization hits that none of them would be able to stay there if it was cold enough for snow. 

You are so close to tears when you reach the page where the little koala realizes it’s more important to have friends for the holiday than the frozen flurries. Proceeding to stay up all night cutting out perfect snowflakes to hang in the windows for all to enjoy at the family's Christmas Eve party. 

“Where did you find a copy? I’ve looked for so long, I lost my own in the move here.”

“I actually found it by chance, amongst a bunch of rare second-hand books at an auction.” The man itches at the back of his head. “Sorry, I can’t be of more help in locating another.” 

“No it’s fine. I’m just glad I got to see it again. I’ll have to tell my own mom that I was lucky enough to see a copy, she loved it as much as I did.” 

You quickly wrap the two gifts in the one sheet as requested. Handing it back to him before you can be tempted enough to make an excessive offer of your own on his mothers gift. 

“Thanks again.” He hands you two twenties for the donation. “My mom usually helps me with the wrapping but I didn’t want her to see this, you’ve made her Christmas.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

When he walks off you notice that he makes several glances back to you, holding a smile each time. 

“So did you get his number?” Aunt Emma pokes her head back out from the stock area. “Maybe his social media, his dick-dock or whatever it is you kids do these days?” 

“No, I did not get his tiktok.” You answer, unable to contain your laughter. “I was distracted by-” You’re ready to defend yourself when your phone starts vibrating on the table, the screen lit up with the number of your mother’s doctor’s office. You answer it, excited to share your account of the book. “Hey mom, you all finished? You’ll never believe what I just wrapped-”

“Sorry dear this is Laurie, I’m just calling on behalf of Dr. Wang’s office. We were hoping you could come by as soon as you can, the doctor would like to meet with both you and your mother before she leaves for the day.”

“Y-yeah, I’ll be right down.” You hang up the phone taking a deep swallow of fear, the moment of happiness and nostalgia vanishing with the prospect of the news to come. It’s never been a good sign when they’ve wanted to meet with you both in person. 

Aunt Emma catches on in an instant, pushing your coat on your shoulders and your purse in your hand. “Go, I’ve got this. You give your mother a big hug for me, and I’ll stop by soon to see you.”

...

While you try to relive, to pull back and hold on to, that moment from a year ago, Namjoon nods confirming your suspicions.

You mentally kick yourself for not recognizing him, for not remembering a single thing about him except your connection with the book. But after everything you had gone through, in that night alone, the devastating news regarding your mothers health had blacked out everything else. You took her home that night, trying not to cry, trying to be strong for her. Helping her into bed for some much needed rest, leaving your previous plans boxed up in the corner... where they remain to this very day. And the year only got worse leaving your mind engaged elsewhere, far from the man with the kind smile and similar taste in literature. “I’m sorry, I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you sooner.”

“No, it’s fine, it was a while ago, and I’m the one who should be sorry,” He whispers. “The moment I stepped outside that day, I realized you needed it more than my mother needed a second. I went back, but you were already gone. I was selfish though, rather than leaving it with another, I wanted to be the one to give it to you myself, I wanted to see you, to talk to you again, and so I kept it. I even put it in the exhibit on the chance that you might find it. When I met Emma at the museum and found out that you’d be doing the fundraiser again it seems like fate, but then I heard about what had happened since I saw you last. I realized how foolish I had been, how I had stolen your chance to share it with her before she passed.”

You reach up to your face attempting to wipe away the tears before Namjoon can see anymore, but he catches your hands before you can hide your grief.

“When you saw the book that day, you have no idea the impact it had on me. Watching you react, your emotions so close to the surface. You didn’t care where you were, what you were doing, all you could see was the memory in front of you. I wanted to create that for everyone.”

“Then the museum exhibit-”

“Was a result of my meeting you, my breakthrough idea which got me a chance to curate was thanks to your reaction. I was going to tell you when we were there, why you deserved to be there more than anyone else, but everything fell apart so quickly.” 

“I’m so sorry, I never intended to ruin your night. I just-” You take a deep breath, finally letting out the words you’ve been holding back. “I was scared. Jackson was one of my mother’s doctors, he was always friendly and kind to the point where my mother would joke that he would make the perfect son-in-law. We even went on a date, but when she passed... it was difficult, painful for me to see him again. Finding him there last night, I was so worried you would learn about what had happened, and that you would look at me with the same pity he did, so I ran.” 

“You didn’t ruin it, I deserved what you said for not being more open with you about what I knew. I was scared of losing you. So no more running, no more hiding okay?”

You give him a nod, unable to speak through the tears as you gasp between sobs. He hugs you across the cars divide. “Now will you please come inside? At least for a bit. It’s Christmas Eve and I can’t let you go home like this. I have the snowflakes up and everything but we both know it’s not enough without someone else to see them with.” 

You shake your head, now laughing despite the tears, “You really know how to reel me in.”

“I’m just admitting that I don’t want to be alone on Christmas,” He looks at you with a raised brow. “And I don’t think you want to be either.”

...

Namjoon’s house is the very opposite of your apartment, filled with warmth and light, wooden furniture and plants in every corner. The Christmas decorations bring another layer of himself into the fold. As promised, his window pains are full of snowflakes and the sills... you squint at several small blue lumps perched beside the glass. Moving closer you recognize them as clay koalas made by the skill and hands of a much younger age. Namjoon catches you staring at one position in a dozing state. He takes it off the ledge and hands it to you to give a better look. 

“Careful with that one though,” He points to another figure stationed in the corner. “It’s ears like to fall off.” He rolls the round bit of clay out of position chuckling as it exhibits the trait. 

“Did you make these?”

“When I was a kid. My mom held on to them.” Namjoon muses as he continues to fidget with the figurine. “She dropped off a box of decorations before going off to be with my sister and her family.”

“I’m glad she did.”

“Me too. But even with all the trimmings and decor here this year doesn’t feel quite normal.” He replaces them both in their rightful positions of honour and gestures to the massive couch behind you. “Make yourself comfortable,” he insists, before wandering off to the joint kitchen. “Is there anything I can get you to drink?” 

“I’ll have whatever you're having.” You take a seat on the monstrous cushions, which ease you in before swallowing you in comfort. Making it easy to see how this beast of a sofa has eaten several of his several earbuds. 

“Beer okay?”

“Perfect.”

He comes round with the drinks and takes a seat beside you. Turning on the television he lets it play with low volume in the background so you might continue your conversation if you wished, but at the same time eases the pressure from you if you’d rather not. 

You smile down at your beverage as the overly dramatic film plays out. Your mind still lingering on the damage that you might have caused with your hasty departure the night before.

“Have you talked to Jackson since, is he still going to loan the sketches?”

“He wants to, he sent me an email today saying so...” Namjoon pauses taking a sip of his drink, swirling the contents around in the can. “He asked if you were okay too. I haven’t responded yet, I wanted to talk to you first and get the full story, rather than speak on your behalf. But it’s clear he has feelings for you, if you told him how you felt, I’m sure you could still work things out if you wanted to.”

“No, I don’t think it’s feelings but his concern. He’s just too good of a person not to worry, and I’m sure his own guilt has a place in there too. Jackson and I never would have worked out, we went on that date, we didn’t have much in common, there was nothing there that I wanted to pursue, not like my time with you.”

Namjoon’s eyes perk open as he smiles. His arm reaches around, pulling you in to lean on his side and shoulder. As the strained plot plays out before you. 

“Why do you insist on watching these.” You ask as your eyes become heavy after a few minutes. Leaning into Namjoon more he lays back putting his feet up and sliding you down with him to do the same. Your head now resting on his chest the deepness of his voice carrying down to your ear. 

“They’re like the snowflakes-”

“A paper thin plot full of holes?”

“Funny and true, but not what I meant. I know they are by no means real, but they have this way of adding to the feeling of the season. I didn’t realize how much of a tradition it has become for me and my family until this year, when watching them alone just felt wrong. The movies were an excuse to sit down with them, to talk and laugh. The other night when I called, it wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep, I just wanted to spend the time with you.”

“But why me? You could have anyone, even Valerie seems to-”

“Why would I want anyone else when you helped me achieve something I’ve long dreamed of? You may think this cheesy but at the end of all these films, when everything comes together wrapped in a perfect bow, that’s how I’ve felt in every moment with you.”

“You’re right, very cheesy, but not unwanted.” You look up at him from his chest finding only sincerity in his face. “Now if we’re to continue in this similar Hallmark course of action, I do believe this would be the part where you kiss me again.”

“But I’m just the clumsy lead,” Namjoon jokes. “I’m pretty sure that’s your-” You lean in doing just that, cutting him off and pushing him against the couch as you kiss him. His chest quaking with silent laughter soon turns to rumbling groans as you fulfil the expectation of your role. “Though this would also be the part where I tell you we should wait before giving into temptation.”

Your nose scrunches up in displeasure over the notion of such abstinence. “Then let's omit that line, and go off script for the rest of the night.”

Namjoon takes his turn, flipping you over to push you down onto the plush cushions, where you sink under his weight. “Gladly,” he growls, his mouth trailing down your neck pulling on the collar of your sweater to seek further in. 

Desiring the same you discard your own knit garment, before moving on to unfasten the buttons of his shirt, pushing it back until he is forced to tear his hands from the sleeves himself and whip it down to the ground. 

Sliding between your thighs he wraps your legs around his back and picks you up off the couch. With an arm wrapped around your waist, he continues to kiss you while you squeal from being lifted into the air. 

“Bedroom?” You ask, excited by the possible prospect.

He nods, looking up at you with a smirk. “If that’s okay? I’d rather not risk losing you to the couch too.”

You giggle at the notion, while Namjoon heaves you up again to get a better grasp, his mouth tucking into your chest. He fumbles for the door now behind you looking as though he might break it open if the knob won’t turn to his grappling grip. You reach back to assist and push it open. The cool air of the room hits you, causing you to cling to Namjoon’s warmth. 

With two more steps you’re lowered onto the bed, where he grips the waist of your pants, unbuttoning and tearing them down your legs. Laying on the edge of the mattress, you watch as Namjoon kneels down between your legs. His hands glide up your bare legs and pause at the tops of your thighs massaging them as he asks to go further. “May I?”

You take his fingers and press them down on the dampening fabric. Namjoon groans and dips the tip of his index below the material peeking inside to find the warmth of your cunt. It’s a pity it’s so dark in the room, you would have liked to see his smile. 

But it seems you're not alone in this desire, as Namjoon gets up and reaches over flicking on the lamp beside his bed. “No more hiding, I want to see you, all of you.” 

“I want that too. I want you.” 

He smiles kissing you with both hands before rolling over and pulling you on top of him. You return the favour by taking off his pants and boxer briefs releasing his erection. Running your fingers down the soft skin of his shaft, curling them around the base. Tilting his cock towards your mouth you take the tip, teasing your tongue on the rim of the head. Namjoon groans in delight, thrusting his hips up, you take it again as far as you can manage, enjoying his reactions to your tongue trails downward, tracing the swelling veins of his dick. With another drag of his cock you release him with the pop of your lips and he reaches down to grip your arms, breathing heavily with closed eyes.

“I thought you said you wanted to see me?” You chuckle at his undoing.

“I do, but I also want to last.” 

“Condoms?” You ask, continuing to stroke his cock while you adjust to straddle his thighs.

“In there.” He mutters, pointing to his bedside table breathless and helpless to your touch. Only looking up when you have to free him to reach for the box and unwrap its contents. His own hands help you to roll it down his shaft. 

You guide yourself down on his cock while Namjoon arches against his pillow and mattress. His fingers tracing up your stomach and ribs. You reach back to unclasp your bra just as he reaches your chest, and lean down into his touch. 

With his firm grip you rock your hips clenching on his dick and grinding your clit on his pelvis. The louder he gets the faster you move, trembling as you chase your own high and pivoting down further. When Namjoon’s hands grip your hips pressing you into him the pressure becomes far too great pushing you over the edge, sending waves of pleasure through you until you collapse on his chest. He holds you in place as he thrusts from beneath, gasping as your climax continues, coaxing you to clench down on him, straining his thrusts until he comes. 

Dotting the side of your face and neck with his lips at a soft and slow pace, he succeeds in forging another smile in your still gasping lips. He tilts you off and beside him in your blissful haze so he may dispose of the filled barrier. When returning to your grasp you cling to him and he you, dragging the covers up and over the both of you.  

“I could get used to this.” You whisper, curling into his warmth. No longer afraid of the emotions that the holiday will bring. Glowing over the prospect of not facing Christmas morning alone, but wrapped together with Namjoon in the sheets of his bed. “Maybe even consider it a new tradition?” You joke with him looking up to witness his smile.

“If that’s a tradition...” Namjoon whispers, coming in for another kiss. “I plan on celebrating Christmas everyday for the foreseeable future.”