#at least let them have sunflower comfort times

[alexandersimpleton]

I wonder how sotpf Whitney would react to Frederick's bullies. I feel like Whitney and Frederick would meet them on the street one day, and Frederick would have a flashback, and then those bullies would go home with some trauma.

[arsonlookers]

Hi! I had just finished the penacony story quest and umm came out with random ideas….. PLUS after listening to White Night I-

I was wondering what you would think about an AU where time slip is possible and that Yan! Aventurine lost reader (idk how in what situation😭😭😭)

but like yea….

N then like he just literally time slips back to the past before he lost them and like gets super protective???

Idk like I'm-

Omg help idk but like yehhhh

Oh My God your a GENIUS!!! Imagine an au like that!! But let's give it a twist shall we 😉

IN ANOTHER LIFE YOU ARE MINE

YAN! AVENTURINE X READER

Yan! Aventurine in his first and original timeline falls in love with you but keeps it a secret relationship because there are plenty of enemies he made in the way who wanted to hurt you just to hurt him. So he keeps his distance from you in public and in private he is just so clingy and SO loving but in recent times he has just become more distant from you after meeting the trailblazer not only he is a million times busy and with dealing with his past he also started to become more interested with this "FRIEND" of his the trailblazer.

So he spends less and less time as it goes on and you are just so lonely whenever he is not even planning to go home. Or he just kind of ended up ignoring you when he comes home because he is exhausted from all the drama. [he just needs time poor baby]

But then one day an accident happens to you, an accident he never expected, and will forever regret. Of all the people in that accident you his very beloved partner were the only one who perished the most and died alone.

"aventurin-" were your very last words you only wanted to see the love of your life one last time and at least be able to say goodbye to the person who saved you and made your life worthwhile...

BREAKING NEWS!!

the news states the attack was from a man who lost in a gamble storming out from the casino with pent-up anger and ended up venting his anger to a poor woman a passerby who was the first person he spotted to look so weak so he attacked her and stabbed her 10 times to vent his anger because of the lost.

After hearing the news Aventurine can't believe what he is hearing and dashes immediately towards your location. just outside of the casino he was in right now.

in front of the lobby there he saw a group of people gathered in front of the entrance cameras and all.

he never is the type to jump in the scene but this time he jumps in the crowd to look for you to believe that it is not you and you are safe, to hope and in his luck that YOU are safe.

In his mind he is already panicking, sweat going down from his forehead and hands shaking non-stop he can't even control it. Inside of his mind were all prayers and all begging to keep you safe from every harm that past these people you are safe and sound.

But past the one last person he pushes aside instead of your sweet smile and a hug of comfort.. all he sees is blood.. blood everywhere his eyes tremble his bones are about to give up as he looks at the body in front of him there lies you wearing your favorite dress that he gifts you in your anniversary... a sunflower dress being splattered and filled with red blood still running down from your dead body.

and with that is the very last straw of his sanity.

He comes close to your body, and his eyes behind his glasses start to water, overwhelming emotions bearing him and tying in his throat restricting him from breathing and making his heart beat as if being chased by a killer or worse death wanting him dead. and maybe it is better to die right now he thought.

just the sight of your back and your dress being soaked in your own blood was horrendous and worst sight he had laid his eyes upon.

everything was so slow yet so fast at the same time. You were taken away from his grasp and then the next you are being sent away to be mourned by your family. But you don't have a family. he is your family. the one and only family. but because the two of you are still not married and just dating/ engaged he cant have you ... he cant mourn you... And the worst part is he has all the money and power but mourning you, He cant even DO THAT?! He have all this for you for HIM but why? why? WHY?!WWHYWHHYWHYWHWYWHY?????? WHY?!WWHYWHHYWHYWHWYWHY???WHY?!WWHYWHHYWHYWHWYWHY??? WHY?!WWHYWHHYWHYWHWYWHY??? WHY?!WWHYWHHYWHYWHWYWHY???

everything in his mind is starting to crumble as he starts to drink and gamble his life everything is on the line yet he just can't die. HE IS JUST TO LUCKY TO DIE. THEN WHY??? WHY DO YOU NEED TO DIE??? WHY YOU??? was all he can asked day in day out in his life. when he comes home all he can remember is YOU every memory every furniture everything reminds him of you and he just cant he might loses him mind more if he stays more than a hour a minute in once your shared house.

After everything he just cant take it anymore and goes to your house drunk and just starts calling your name waiting for you to respond.

"Yn~ baby~ ! Im home! " He calls drunk inside the house falling flat in the entrance and everything. He closes his eyes and All he can think and hear about is how warm he feels the house is clean and how you will be coming out of the kitchen and calling his name so lovingly.

"aven! Aven! AVEN!" how you will call his nickname how sweet your voice sounds like at first it sounds so far away and now he feels so nostalgic how you shake him the same from all those months ago when he comes home drunk.

He wants to stay like this ... if he can he wants to stay like this forever hearing your voice calling his nickname ...

"more. more call me like that moreMORE MOREMORE "

"KAKAVASHA!!" was when he opened his eyes and bolted his eyes from the voice that called him

and here presents you... in your glory and in your lovely apron. that says 'HAPPY WIFEY HAPPY LIFEY~" It was cheesy but it looked so perfect for you.

"vasha!! are you ok!? " you grabbed his face and all he could feel was how warm you were not cold and wet as he last remembered.

before he knew it tears drops one after the other in his eyes.

"aventurine!! hey come on are you gonna leave me hanging and worried?? did someone beat you? Are you ok?" You grabbed him for a hugged and rubbed your hands in his back

and all he can think is how warm you are how nice it was to feel your warm body against his and how you smell so good. and then he just thinks that he wants this to last forever, he doesn't want this to end, he doesn't want to go back to that dark place. he doesn't want to go back in that nightmare ever again.

Feeling all these emotions he hugged you and started to bawl his eyes out and hugged you tight as if you would be gone in a matter of seconds now.

you can't really know what is going on with him but it truly is rare to see him like this and this time he needs your comfort and love so instead of breaking the hug because of it being too tight You instead hugged him tight and comfort him with your words and back rubs

"its ok, aven, its just a nightmare . shhh its fine , its fine Im here now, Im here" As you keeps your gesture and kinda calm him down his gripped unto you was still on and tight but not that tight.

That is until he falls asleep.

"cute aven" you say as you pinches his cheeks before moving him to your shared bedroom.

Aventurine woke up and just in a panic he searched the room he cant see you there so he rushed down the stares and searched for you outside he was screaming your name and on the verge of crying again. that is until you called for him from the kitchen.

"morning darling!" You say as flipping the pancakes and smiling at him from the kitchen wall.

and there aventurine was feeling relieved that you were just a dream.. and even if this is a dream of a hallucination he don't care all he cares about is you and him in this time together eating your pancake and you in front of him smiling happily.

AND AFTER SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME as he starts to notice that he was in the past a year before your tragedy he promises that he will. HE WILL. PROTECT YOU.

may it caused of his death he dont care he will never ever EVER going to see you in that state again.

WITH out you knowing he actually in this timeline he did kill your killer after he tracked him down so that he wont be able to do the murder again. Aventurine puts more in security and becomes more and more clingy since then.

But one thing he will put first. HE ASKED YOU TO BE HIS WIFE This time he will never ever gonna regret pausing to make you his wife. This time YOU ARE HIS WIFE.

He wont ever EVER FACE ALL THOSE HAPPENING AGAIN. He wont ever make you feel sad and distant and he wont make you regret saying YES to his proposal now that you are going to be his WIFE.

He will plan the wedding immediately.

HE WON'T WASTE ANY TIME ANYMORE HE ALREADY WASTED A LOT OF TIME IN THE PAST HE won't MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE.

Suggested warning!!

and fckng his wife should be the first priority right~ so he does~

Every night and every possible day he has been so horny to the point of fcking you in every possible place in the house on your dates in your backyard, and even in his office. EVERYWHERE

IN THIS LIFE YOU ARE HIS AND NO ONE CAN HAVE YOU AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM HIS GRASP AND IN THIS LIFE.

[this is the birth of the most possessive and overprotective yandere aventurine who loves love LOVES you very much ]

ARS: Donee!! damn anon thank you for the idea! but really I was not gonna make it since been busy but I guess my writer brain just turns on immediately thinking about the plot and how i would write the story I wish it was to your liking anon! I wish this is how my brain would work in my exam wow that finished within one hour hahaha anyways have a great Day!!

©2024arsonlookers

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Flower Dance

Haley (Stardew) x She/Her Reader

A/N: I liked the idea, but I don’t think I executed it as well as I hoped I would because I got impatient. Still not too bad though I think. I wrote this in November of 2022. Sharing it now because why not. Word Count: 2,383

“Ew, no.”

Haley had regretted the words as soon as she had spit them out like an defensive cobra.

Hurt was written all over the farmer’s face as she recoiled from Haley like she had been burned.

Haley saw the year’s worth of progress she had made getting out of her shell and becoming friends with (Y/n) crumble before her very eyes. She tried to say something, anything, to peddle back from the harsh way she had answered, but (Y/n) recovered first. At least somewhat.

“…Alright then, sorry. A simple no would have sufficed.” She mumbled. “Excuse me.”

Haley reached for her but froze halfway before withdrawing. Her hands fell to her sides in tight fists.

Why did she say that? It was only (Y/n), the sweet farmer who had taken the time to scale Haley’s walls to find her soft and more vulnerable self within.

Daffodils in the spring, ice cream in the summer, sunflowers in fall, pink cake in winter… (Y/n) had been nothing but nice to her even from the beginning when Haley insulted her clothes and earthy scent. Back then the farmer had been able to brush her off, but Haley’s words definitely had a direct impact this time.

She didn’t mean to speak to her like that. She had just been startled that (Y/n) would even think to ask. The thought of dancing with her made Haley’s face burn and her heart thump in her ears. She wasn’t sure if it was excitement or fear that was causing those reactions, but clearly fear had won out when she opened her stupid mouth.

What should she do now?

“Haley,”

Haley turned to find that Alex was walking up to her. She tried to school her expression into something more neutral before he got too close to notice.

“The dance is starting soon. Are we partnering up again this year?”

Haley scanned the field for (Y/n) and bit the inside of her lip when she couldn’t see her. She was the Flower Queen, she was expected to be a part of the ceremonial first dance. As much as she wanted to go look for (Y/n) and apologize, that would have to wait. It would be better to talk to her when her heart stopped pounding anyway.

“Yeah,” Haley nodded, linking Alex’s elbow with hers, “let’s get in position.”

When they did find their places, Haley watched the usual pairs link up. Finally she saw (Y/n) conversing with Robin and Demetrius on the sidelines. Haley remembered last year, wondering why the new farmer hadn’t bothered to come to the dance. At first, she thought she had some kind of sense of superiority over the townsfolk, but it was a traditional town event after all, not a club in Zuzu City. It would probably have been uncomfortable after only being a part of the community for a couple weeks.

Now a year later, (Y/n) had felt comfortable enough to join in on the festivities and Haley had surely made her regret stepping away from her busy farm life with the utterance of those two stupid words.

Good job, idiot.

She continued to watch over Alex’s shoulder as Leah unexpectedly walked up. Leah? Leah usually danced with Elliot. What was she doing sidling up to (Y/n) like that? Haley looked around for the writer, but he was nowhere to be seen. Was he sick or something?

Haley looked back in time to see (Y/n) smile kindly at something Leah had said and felt something burning within her as Leah offered (Y/n) her hand and the farmer took it.

“What’s going on behind me that has you squeezing my shoulders like that?” Alex asked, craning his head back, “It kinda hurts.”

“Nothing.” Haley snapped.

She turned her head away from (Y/n) and Leah, trying to ignore them bonding over being the newest residents of the valley and how Leah’s first Flower Dance went. How Leah taught (Y/n) the steps, something that could have been Haley’s honor not even ten minutes ago.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Alex winced, “Come on Haley, I can feel your nails through my shirt.”

“Sorry.” Haley eased up a bit, but her steely gaze still lingered on the two women butchering the steps while snickering to each other.

Haley was furious. They were making a mockery of the long standing tradition! That was definitely what was pissing her off. Not the fact that she could have just as easily been in Leah’s shoes, helping (Y/n) find her footing and laughing with her instead—

“Too tight again Haley, damn!” Alex hissed, finally twirling Haley around so he could take a look at what was pissing her off so bad that she felt the need to leave him bruised.

“What am I supposed to be seeing here?”

“Just drop it.” Haley nearly growled.

“Ohhhh,” Alex winced upon spotting Leah and (Y/n) spinning together, “I get it. Well, they could just be dancing as friends like us you know. You’re not out of this yet.”

“What are you talking about?” She grumbled.

“(Y/n) and Leah. I figured farm girl would steal my spot this year. I was kinda hoping for it too,” Alex pulled at his collar, “this outfit is always so itchy.”

“Why would I dance with her? That makes no sense.” Haley shot defensively, not loud enough for anyone else to hear, but loud enough to make Emily peer over Shane’s shoulder to try and see what her sister was so grumpy about.

“Uhh, don’t you like her?” Alex asked with uncertainty, “I could have sworn—“

“I do not!” Haley fumed, heart pounding and face flushing once again, “Why would you think that?”

“The last time we were in your dark room. I mean, dude, like, a loooot of your pictures lately have been of (Y/n)…”

“I needed to have a gallery that showcased humans and nature for an online class!” Haley defended, though her cheeks blushed darker, “I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask that weirdo in the mountains if I could follow him around for a couple days. (Y/n) was the obvious choice.”

“I don’t get why you’re so defensive about it. It’s cool if you like her or whatever. You know I don’t care. Emily definitely wouldn’t. I think no one would mind as much as you seem to, or you’re at least in the minority on the subject.”

“I. Do. Not. Like. Her. Like. That.” Haley gritted out.

Alex sighed heavily. Why did Haley always have to be so stubborn? He had an idea, but it was going to be just a little mean…

“Oh whoa, they’re totally making out.”

“What?!”

Haley’s heart dropped as she yanked Alex around so she could look at (Y/n) and Leah again. They weren’t kissing, nor did it look like they had been. They were still clumsily dancing together as they talked.

Haley turned her eyes back on Alex, who dared to wear a smug little smirk on her face that Haley desperately wanted to slap off.

“You do like her, Hales. You haven’t liked anyone in forever! And as your best friend, it’s my job to help you shoot your shot. Come on, let’s dance over and see if we can’t get you to cut in.”

“No, Alex,” Haley pulled him back, a touch of fear in her voice “I, I can’t. Not after what I said. She must think I’m such a bitch.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She already asked me to dance, Alex,” Haley groaned angrily at herself, “and do you know what I said? I said, ‘ew, no’.”

“No.” Alex sucked in air through clenched teeth.

“Yeah, try coming back from that. She’ll never talk to me again.”

“You could tell her you’re sorry. Say you got so nervous you insulted her. That might help.”

“Oh sure.” Haley scoffed.

“It would be better than doing nothing!” Alex whined. “Haley, before (Y/n), I was basically the only person you ever talked to. You really stepped up this year and I’d hate to see you close yourself off again.”

(Y/n) and Leah seemed to have grown tired of dancing and went to join the sidelines once more and Haley looked to the grass at her feet. She wanted to say to hell with it. People come and go all the time, just look at her parents and their never ending trips. However, she couldn’t bring herself to slip away from (Y/n). She didn’t want (Y/n) to slip away from her either.

“What do I do, Alex? She’s not going to want to talk to me after this.”

“We’ll think of something,” Alex promised, giving Haley one last twirl, “We’ll think of something.”

***

“H-hello?” (Y/n) called out as she entered the Secret Woods.

She had received a letter in the mail that morning, urging her to arrive at her earliest convenience. She had half a mind to suspect it was the bear again, although the only thing she had been instructed to bring was herself, not syrup.

As she wandered further into the clearing, she faintly heard music playing and decided to follow it. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Haley flattening a table cloth over a large tree stump. The sting of yesterday was still very fresh in her mind. Surely Haley didn’t send her that letter… she took a step back, but her foot snapped a twig, causing Haley’s head to snap up.

Haley quickly finished what she was doing, hands moving clumsily from nervousness. She dried her sweaty palms on the back of her skirt and then took a deep breath as she approached (Y/n).

“Hey,” Haley said, her smile looking a bit too pained to be sincere. Much like the polite smile (Y/n) was trying to hold.

“Ah, sorry Haley. I didn’t know—“

“I want you here,” Haley spoke quickly, “I wrote the letter.”

“You did? Why?” (Y/n) asked, her body language defensive. After yesterday, she wasn’t too keen on listening to whatever Haley had to say. She didn’t think she knew Haley as well as she thought she did.

“Because I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I- I was totally out of line. I’m really, really sorry.”

“But why did you say that at all? Haley, that really hurt me.” (Y/n) crossed her arms over her chest.

“I know, I regretted it as soon as I said it. I was just scared I guess. I didn’t expect you to ask me to dance and I know that’s a dumb excuse, but I swear I didn’t mean it.”

“What were you scared for?” (Y/n) asked softly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Because I,” Haley took in a shaky breath, “I like you a lot.”

“You were scared to accept my invitation to dance because you like me?” (Y/n) tested the words on her tongue, finding them just as confusing as when Haley had said them.

“Yeah, well, when you repeat it back like that it sounds dumb,” Haley blushed, “but, ugh! You know me. I’m not easy to get along with. I also don’t like being vulnerable so this whole thing is killing me now, but, I also like you too much to not try to apologize so,” Haley tentatively held her hand out to the bewildered farmer, “will you please let me have this dance in an attempt to redeem myself?”

(Y/n) studied the offered hand for a moment, making Haley so nervous she stopped breathing, but then (Y/n) gave her a small smile and took Haley’s hand.

“Okay.”

Haley inhaled deeply, feeling a weight come off her shoulders. She hurriedly put her free hand around (Y/n)’s waist and took the lead. Her skin tingled when (Y/n)’s hand came to rest on her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Haley breathed a sigh of relief.

“You know, you really surprised me yesterday,” (Y/n) began, making Haley wince, “I know you can be a little grouchy, even mean sometimes,” Haley wished the ground would swallow her whole,

“but the more we got to know each other, the more I got to see who you are trying to protect, the person who are underneath the prickliness. Granted, the prickliness is just as much a part of you, but I think it’s cute when you’re a little snarky,” Haley bit the inside of her cheek. She felt like she should be insulted, but (Y/n) finding something about her cute was making her blush,

“I was hurt when you turned me down like that yesterday, but I was also worried that would be the end of our friendship.”

“Why would you worry about that? If the shoe had been on the other foot, I would have said good riddance.” Haley asked, mentally kicking herself for possibly giving (Y/n) the idea to back away now.

“Yeah, I kinda did feel that way at first,” (Y/n) admitted, “but when Leah helped me cool down, I at least wanted to know why you reacted the way you did. I’m glad you reached out to me before I did, because I honestly had no idea how to approach the subject.” (Y/n) said with a sheepish grin.

“What, are you afraid of me or something, Miss spends-all-winter-in-the-mines?” Haley Scoffed.

“Oh definitely.”

“Really?”

“You are scarier than you give yourself credit for.”

Haley tried not to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. She lowered her head to rest against (Y/n)’s shoulder and giggled, making (Y/n) laugh as well.

They swayed through a couple more songs before Haley pulled back and asked (Y/n) if she was hungry before motioning back to the the covered tree stump. They ate and talked together while listening to the portable radio Haley had brought along. When there was a lull, Haley asked,

“Hey, it’s not exactly the Flower Dance, but there’s always a dance floor at the summer Luau… be my dance partner?”

(Y/n) perked up, giving Haley another smile that gave her butterflies, “I’d like that.”

“Awesome.”

Maybe by summer she’d work up the courage to ask (Y/n) if she wanted to be her girlfriend, but this was perfect for now. Alex was going to need to help her with a plan, but when (Y/n) reached across the stump the tuck a bit of Haley’s hair behind her ear, she was feeling a little better about her chances.

[0oolookitsme]

Like Gold Dust

Hii everyone! This one is kind of different than most of my fics. There are lots of descriptions and lesser dialogues and she's an angsty one! Lowkey poetic too, I think? I don't know! You tell me! I hope you enjoy reading <3

Verse - Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n (uni era)

Word Count - 3.1k

Warnings - This fic is about Harry dealing with Seasonal Depression and he doesn't deal with it in this fic very healthily. So, if that, in any way, seems like it might be triggering for you or you don't wanna read about it, I totally understand! Close this fic and take care of yourself, I'll see you in the next upload! Sending love <3 (Also, there's miscommunication as well because of course, they are in uni!)

Winter has come knocking the wind out of Harry's lungs, and happiness has begun feeling like gold dust to him -- everybody seems to be chasing after it, but rarely catches it. But while Harry deals with the harshest Winter he's ever had, Y/n seems to have begun hating her favourite season.

Please rb to share! | Masterlist

With her head lowered defeatedly, Y/n slapped on the door with her palm for the fifth time. "Harry," she exhaled a breath that she had held hostage in her lungs so that she wouldn’t miss his reply. "I know you're in there ...let me in, please," her voice went meek towards the end, eyes moistening making her screw them shut, tighly.

She let her head rest on the door, sniffling a few times when she feels the sudden tiredness overtake her senses once again.

Maybe he's asleep, she thinks to herself just to get herself moving. Nodding at her own thought, she fisted the hand that was still pressed against the cold shut door and put it back in the warmth of her coat’s pocket.

This was nothing new. Every morning she'd come to his dorm, knock and knock and knock, and get teary eyed when he wouldn't open up. She'd catch him on the campus sometimes, walking in the same clothes she'd been seeing him in since the past three days, his head low and eyes avoiding any and every gaze.

"Harry!" She'd call after him and run up to match her steps with his. "I went to your dorm; thought you were sleeping but here you are!" Halting in her place she'd exclaim. Then, she'd mumble sadly -- "looking all pretty," running a little because he hadn't stopped with her.

She'd walk with him quietly then, cautiously weaving her fingers through his rough ones. He'd squeeze her hand three times in return and hold on tightly until they'd reach the point where they needed to part ways for their classes.

Truth be told, those little encounters seemed to be the only thin thread she was hanging by. His simple touches, holds, and cold lips pressed against her forehead. It made her believe that he didn’t entirely hate her, that she wasn’t as useless as she felt.

Y/n felt like she was lacking somewhere. That she should be the one he should be talking to in moments like these, that she should be the sole source of comfort he had but it seemed like he kept his distance from her as much as he could. And that made her feel like maybe she wasn’t his favourtie person, after all. 

She knew that it wasn’t the truth in her heart. That Harry did still love her, and found his safe haven in her – the smallest actions he made were assuring …but they weren’t enough to prevent Y/n’s opposing, combatant mind from exceeding its thinking capacity.

Every night she found herself doubting herself – her capacity to love, especially. Was her love not enough for the both of them to sail a little longer? At Least until Spring came and Harry’s sunflower plant became full of life again?

She feared that their relationship was withering away, just like his sunflower, and she was sat in his room on his window sill with the plant in her lap, frantically giving it sunlight and air and water and better soil but it just won’t stop shrinking in size and fading in colour.  

Doing everything she could, still Y/n was always feeling helpless and in despair. It was like she was screaming but Harry wasn’t listening…whether intentionally or not because, from Harry’s point of view, no sound seemed to be coming out of her scream – maybe because he was under water.  

"I'll see you soon," she'd tell him and get up on her tiptoes to hug him close to herself, pressing a kiss on his unshaved cheek. And with that, she'd walk away, her hand a lingering touch until she had walked far enough, and she, yet again, proved to be insufficient and not enough.

Walking against the brittle wind, she caught sight of the on-campus cafe. Walking inside, she looked up at the jingling bells above the door and smiled. She’d been coming here for so many months and yet she looked up at the source of the chime every time she walked in – for coffee, mainly, and for some warm shelter, secretly.

"A medium coffee please," she told the barista, who also happened to be a good friend. The cafe was opened by some of the college students, for the college students. It was nothing fancy but did its job remarkably well.

No one was speaking this early in the morning. Everyone was bundled up in any corner that they could seek, and Y/n looked around in hopes that maybe the footsteps she'd heard inside Harry's dorm weren't actual and that she might catch him cozied up here, instead. Because sometimes they'd bump into each other here or at the library, and that would bring her the peace that she was feeling rarely this Winter – which came as a shock to the system because she didn’t nearly love any season as much as she did Winter.

But alas, it was only a hope after all.

"Can I get a refill, please?" Someone asked, slightly embarrassed as the peeked from behind their laptop screen. Standing in front of Y/n, the barista – Kate – agreed to the request with a warm smile.

-

It was brighter than usual today, Harry had noticed. The sunlight pouring in through his open window laid right on his bed and if he wasn’t already feeling brighter today, which is the reason why he is standing fresh out of his bathroom and rubbing his towel against his head with another one wrapped low on his hips, his mood just felt as if it had bubbled up so high that he couldn’t handle it all by himself.

The flimsy curtains were still drawn in front of his windows, as he quickly changed. Even though he hated dressing up before his skin had fully dried. Unconsciously, he began humming a song and when he realized that while brushing his hair, he felt as if he had caught himself off guard. 

Happiness had begun to feel like it was like gold dust, to Harry. He’d suddenly become very aware of how difficult it was to obtain, how everyone wanted it and it was almost as if it had grown out of his comfort zone. 

He wasn't excited about the winter, not that he ever was. But he was depressed. Harry avoided his own gaze in the mirror then. He hadn’t said anything to himself other than a broken sob in weeks, so to find himself humming a song felt surreal. 

Throwing some things in his backpack, he swung it over his shoulders. He didn’t have anything on his feet, he realized and sprawled on the floor to look under his bed for the socks he was sure he had absentmindedly kicked under there. 

He took a quick sniff at his socks, deciding that he could go with them this last day. With a few grunts he pulled them up on his feet, sitting on the floor of his dorm room and tying his shoelaces. Y/n had gifted him those among some other things for Christmas, and that thought made him smile as he stared at the Nikes on his feet for little.

A few of his bones popped as he got up, making him groan in satisfaction. Checking if he had his phone and headphones on him, he decided to go and quickly check the scenery outside via his window and see for himself if he should carry an umbrella, which didn’t make any sense because it could begin raining cats and dogs any time where he lived.

That was when he caught sight of snow – falling down in flakes, slowly like feathers. His mouth fell open as he pressed his palms against the cold window glass, looking outside like some eager kid with his nose slightly smushing against it. His gaze wandered and he realized that everyhting was covered in white snow, shimmering beautifully as sunlight fell down.

Suddenly in a much bigger hurry, he swung his backpack on one of his shoulders again, and locked the door once he was on the other side of it.

The temperature inside his dorm room was much colder than the temperature outside, Harry realized, just as he does every other day and proceeded to walk down the hallway with his hands in the pockets of his bright pink hoodie. He’d been thinking all morning that maybe this serotonin release was only for one day, but chose not to dwell over that so he could simply live for at least some hours – for as long as the sun was away from the jail-bars, namely clouds.

But then he realized that it had finally begun snowing, and he felt like no one could take his happiness from him; absolutely no one.

He hated this issue that he had. He’s been suffering with seasonal depression since he was fifteen, he’d guess, and he hadn’t had one winter since that made him happy. Except, of course, the last one, in which he finally had the nerve to kiss Y/n under a mistletoe that had been hanging on the wall indentation that separates the dining area from the kitchen in his home.

And she made the Winter sufferable, if not entirely rainbows and sunshine for him. But it only made Harry hate himself worse – the fact that she adored no season as much as she did the snow one, and yet she was sad all the time during the span of this Winter in particular, because of him.

When Winter was approaching, she had strictly told him to come meet her before he’d leave for practice in the mornings, just so that she could hold him for a little before they’d go in for entirely different classes for the day, because she was aware that one of his love languages was physical touch. She didn’t really have a clue about how harsh this Winter was going to be on them, considering it hadn’t ever been so bad in the years she had known him, even as his best friend.

But he hadn’t been following the one rule she’d made; he was unable to.

He tried to stay away from her, when he realized that. Just so that she wouldn’t have to share all of her love and happiness with him to the level that she was left with nothing but his sadness. It wasn’t making him feel good, it hurt worse than the Winter did – staying away from her. But it was for the better, he’d tell himself over and over again as he would roll his lips in his mouth and shut his eyes tightly when she would come knocking on his dorm room morning and night, voice sounding as if she were on the verge of breaking down and begging him to open up so that she could come in and help him, and herself even.

“This is making me very sad, Harry. This – whatever it is that you’re doing, i – it isn’t making me feel anything but … but sad,” she would utter defeatedly outside his dorm, being ignorant about the strangers that might be hearing her. And, Harry would clench his eyes shut if his mind showed him a sight of her bottom lip trembling with fat tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.

What would matter to anyone hearing her, if Harry wasn’t hearing her? She’d think as she’d knock for the last few times, getting louder and louder.

It made Hary question his decisions, if he was doing the ‘right thing’ after all. But still he would gulp down his cry that threatened to escape his aching throat. He cried, and held himself as his body shook and broke down in sobs, because it felt selfish to have her do it when she could be outside building a snowman.   

He was well aware that she was concerned about him, it showed in her actions -- bled through the looks of care she passed him before she had to part from him. And he felt careless, like he wasn’t being responsible and mature enough by simply letting her in but he was. He couldn’t explain as to how or why, but in his head, he knew he was being sensible by not enclosing her in his misery.

Around Y/n he was calmer and more at peace – that was, nowadays, whenever she would catch him sulking on the campus somewhere. Almost all the time he wanted to be coddling her, holding her or being near her -- he knew she’d keep him sane, at the least but still he didn’t go to her. So he managed to comfort himself by the things that reminded him of her.

He felt such geat despair in that moment, when he would be sliding down the wall of his dorm as tears fell one after another from the slits of his eyes. He’d feel resentful of himself, but would still wrap his arms around his weak body and strangle his sobs because the walls were paper thin. He’d rest his head on his knees, back against the cold wall before he’d crawl to the foot of his bed and cry into the mattress as if it were his mum’s or Y/n’s lap. 

The sun had begun its hideaway for multiple days on end, and it got dark way earlier. Although he'd liked to think that he was prepared for the season, for the entirety of the beautiful autumn, he knew he was just baffling to himself. His current state was proof for it.

He felt tired, always. Never sleeping and being irritated at the slightest mistakes made during practice -- whether it was with himself or with his teammates. He had no interest in eating or getting out of his dorm room in the mornings, which was extremely unusual of him. Exams were around the corner and as much as he'd like to say that he was ready to tackle them, it was a lie far far away from the truth.

He wasn't even sure what the syllabus was, if he was being completely honest.

By the end, his throat would be aching because of the stifled wails and the sun would have risen by the time he’d be done collecting himself, and then a headache would follow and his eyes would've dried up because of the night time that he used to study instead of sleeping. 

Swiftly climbing down the flight of stairs to go to y/n's dorm, he felt the same kind of sensation he did when he was going back home for the winter break.

He knocked thrice, gently because he’s sure she's still sleeping or just woken up. There was a rush in his body, the thought of seeing her was making him more and more impatient. He was beginning to feel nervous, almost verging on anxious.

The door opened, and Y/n peeked through the small crack before and her eyes widened at the sight in front of her. He was standing right there, freshly showered and dressed in a fresh pair of clothes. His face was shining and as he smiled down at her, his dimples indented in his shaved cheek and she could smell the strong smell of his shaving cream that lingered around for a while. His lips were stretched so far that the front of his bunny could be seen from the small gap forming in between.

He didn't look much better than he did on the mornings that have passed them by since winter started, but he did seem to be in a better mood. It made her happy that he loved the hot pink hoodie that she bought him as much as she did. He had paired it with some joggers, and the shoes that, again, she had gifted him.

Tears pooled in her eyes in an instant and her nose flared a bit as her mouth swung open in a grin, spurts of laughter falling out as she gazed at him in disbelief. 

She made herself fully visible and opened the door wider. Instead of saying anything, she closed her mouth shut, still smiling at him brightly, and opened her arms for him to lean into her.

"Good morning," he gritted through his teeth as she held him tightly, rubbing her back up and down as she broke down in his arms. Pushing the door shut with his leg.

“Good fucking morning,” she sobbed and hicupped, a crack in her voice indicating that this was the first time she'd spoken since she'd woken up, and that she would’ve begun screaming in victory if only she could stop the stuttering cries rushing out of her.

This was the sole reason she'd begun to dislike mornings less, in the first place -- the love she felt oozed out of her at the sight of Harry. But she hadn’t realized just how off and gloomy she had been this whole time until she broke down at the mere sight of him looking decent. All these mornings that she had to wake up knowing deep in her core her that she wouldn’t see the sun, no matter how much she begged for it to come out had put her in a despair so great that she couldn’t even fathom the feeling of it.

But when she’d woken up this morning to see the land outside covered in white snow, shining as sunlight fell on it filled her with a certain hope to the brim. It almost made her flinch, the way sunlight fell on her face as she laid in her bed, eyes swollen and pillow still wet with the tears she’d cried into it the night before.

"You look exceptionally good this morning," she said while pointedly eyeing him up, wiping off the snot with the sleeve of her hoodie. "All good?"

Harry laughed at that, picking her up and taking her to the unmade bed. It looked like she was in the process of making it because all of her stuffed animals were strewn all over the floor -- and she tends to sleep with them on the days Harry isn't there to take up more space than necessary.

“I would’ve been on my way to buy some flowers for you, had I not seen the snow outside. Got too excited to see you, couldn’t wait,” he spoke softly, like she was still in a fragile state.“Plus, it’s too cold outside and I’d like my golden girl to come with me… For the sunflowers only bloom at the sight of the sun,” he smiled with his eyes crinkling on ends, and dimples shying away from Y/n’s gaze. 

“First of all, we need to talk and second of all – how many times did you reframe this cringy speech, Harry?”

[sugar-omi]

Qiu x mc?

omg i've been thinking about writing ol2 stuff im glad you asked even if its vague <3 also!! perhaps unrelated but needing to be said: i am NOT writing smut/nsfw for qiu + tama right now until at least the step 3 beta is released. #1 bc i want them to be 18+ in game #2 i want to have a better feel for them. but i'm happy to write fluff and dating/crush hc's n drabbles until then <3 also isn't the header i made so cute, i love it sm

tags : fluff, inbetween step 2-3

synopsis : what it's like having a crush and going through puberty at the same time.

you're the only person besides tamarack that qiu trusts and considers his dearest friend

but you're also his crush and it's hard sometimes...

on one hand, you're so sweet and caring

and you take care of him, even if you don't know how to comfort him you offer him a shoulder to cry on and a place to clear their thoughts

but on the other hand you're so beautiful/handsome and the way you look at them has qiu about to fly away from the butterflies

as you're growing up, qiu spends a lot of time with you.

i can see them sneaking into your room or throwing a couple pebbles to have you sneak out the front door

and you watch the stars together, all curled up together because it's cold and you only had half the mind to bring your blanket, which wasn't nearly enough

and even though your little midnight trips are frequent, neither of you prepare for the next.

and perhaps you're both "forgetting" a blanket on purpose so that way you have an excuse to cuddle up together, but who's to say?

no matter if you're shy or bold, there's this song and dance between you and qiu.

the longing glances across the room...

qiu flushes up to his ears, something he tries to hide by tugging at their long hair

and if you're feeling mischievous, you'll wink at him or perhaps you'll flutter your eyelashes at him, giving him a teasing smirk with a tantalizing stare.

or the way your hand lingers on his arm, making soothing circles with your thumb

you throw in an occasional heart, but with no way to trace the small action, qiu just flushes and stares blankly at his ceiling during the night wondering if it even happened

you two also hold hands whenever possible

only if there's a reason to of course

like crossing the road, very dangerous!

or walking on a log, you could fall into a pile of leaves!!!

so it's up to qiu to hold your hand and if he doesn't let go even when Tama is around, well you didn't let go either so why are you scolding him?!

mmm, if your hands were cold they would put your hand into his pocket and cover it with his own warmer ones

or even better, if you're parting and you came to school with cold hands, they would give your their gloves and pat your hands together

qiu doesn't particularly like jewelry, but if you gave him a piece of jewelry they'd wear it pretty often

especially if it's made by you

wouldn't wear it to school too often just in case it got ruined

omg imma have to write this but

think abt confessing to qiu while you're having one of your lil midnight excursions

you're on the floor of one of your bedrooms, or perhaps the forset floor I can't decide

and they're laying there, hair splayed out across the floor and looking at you with those eyes that are so welcoming yet bore holes into with the passion and fire behind them.

qiu is like a sunflower in a sea of poppies.

or a butterfly in the snow

and even if the words don't escape your lips

even if you can't bring yourself to kiss him

somehow you still find yourself flushed, perhaps with your lips meeting in the middle and suddenly tomorrow looks so much brighter

[to-thelakes]

you got me (1)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after like may have, slightly, accidentally said you were his girlfriend (you weren't), you reluctantly play along and attend an infamous david rossi pasta night. however, your feelings for each other may not be as fake as you want them to be.

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (so much, after a few parts), mutual pining, sexual tension, mostly unedited (im a uni student, sue me)

warnings for this part; fluff, reader is interrogated by the team, mild hurt/comfort, reader is anxious, some backstory

notes; okay hello! i know i should really finish built to fall (it's actually not too far from being done) but the lovely @smurfenijsje12 has sent me so many asks (i love them all) and i've decided to use them to make a little smutty series (or not really little bc it'll be quite long). this is just like a way for me to craft a story with all the asks i got that i wanted to expand on more than just one post (or ones i just wanted to include in this fic). under the notes, i will input what prompts i used to write the chapter so you can all see them :) i hope you enjoy <3

(i did just screenshot from my google docs, i don't wanna talk about it)

masterlist

“Remind me why I have to come again,” You requested, a hint of teasing in your tone, as you locked up the door of your apartment. Luke stared at you for a moment, unimpressed as he rested against the wall beside your apartment door.

“Are you really gonna play it like this, huh?” He asked. You hummed out happily, a grin on your lips. Luke had dressed up nicely tonight. I mean, it was the infamous David Rossi’s pasta night so you knew that Luke wanted to look good. That was also why you had dressed up; light make-up and a flowy white dress with sunflowers dotted across it. It made you feel pretty and it was a sundress so maybe you’d catch his… well, someone’s eye.

“You’re the one that called me your girlfriend. How do you fuck that up?” You bit back, entirely teasing. He rolled his eyes as the two of you walked to the elevator. 

“I didn’t!” Luke retorted, throwing his hands up in defense. You rolled your eyes, nodding your head exaggeratedly as if you believed him.

“Right,” You drawled out the word as the two of you stepped into the elevator. You had a box of cupcakes in your left hand, Luke had told you that you didn’t have to bring anything but this was the first time you were meeting his co-workers so you wanted to make a good impression. Your right hand rested on the elevator wall in an attempt to ground yourself as the elevator moved. 

“Just wait until you meet Penelope Garcia and then you’ll understand,” He stated. You chuckled and nudged his shoulder playfully, giving him a grin. He shook his head, meeting your gaze briefly before he looked away again. You glanced back at the mirrored elevator wall, checking out your make-up. You looked good. That was good.

So, you then turned back and the elevator doors opened. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Luke to go places together looking like a couple. In fact, it was very common. The two of you loved to take each other out. It was always platonic or at least, that’s what it seemed like. You didn���t want it to be but that was a can of worms you did not want to open. 

Doing this with him felt so natural and you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had with the niggling feelings that you could just never get to go away. It only made the nerves you already had so much worse. 

The thought of being around Luke’s co-workers who were all profilers made the thought of pretending even worse. How could you convince a group of people that you were in love? Well, for you, it was easy but you didn’t know how Luke would do it. These were people that knew him, saw him every day, in-and-out like clockwork. What could he possibly do?

“What’s that look for?” Luke asked, glancing over at you as he opened your building door and led you out. You looked up at him and let out a puff of air, holding the cupcakes precariously as you crossed your arms over yourself.

“They’re profilers. Do you seriously think they’re gonna be fooled?” You asked, biting your lip nervously. Luke continued to walk, leading you towards where he had parked his car ready to pick you up.

“It will be fine, just get in the car,” He insisted as you reached it. You sighed and he opened the door for you. You slipped inside, placing the cupcakes on your lap and slipping your seatbelt on. He closed the door, headed to the driver’s side and within a minute, you were heading towards David’s place.

“What if they don’t like me?” You asked after a beat of silence. Luke scoffed.

“They will.” He sounded confident. You harrumphed at him. How could he be so sure? You and Luke had known each other for years, you lost contact for a while but refound each other. He was surely going to be biased compared to a bunch of random strangers that you didn’t know, “They already love you,” He added, attempting to calm your nerves.

“We’ll see,” You mumbled.

Luke was, of course, right, the second that you got to David’s, he welcomed you with open arms and everyone was so nice. You didn’t understand how but all of them regarded you so highly, smiling, grinning, asking questions. It was everything that you expected but you didn’t feel awkward. The second that you were introduced to Penelope, you felt safe. 

And you also understood how Luke had gotten himself into the situation. Penelope seemed like someone who would jump to conclusions and with how much she talked (it was obviously not a bad thing, you loved it), Luke definitely wouldn’t have been able to get a word in edgeways. It was unsurprising that you had ended up here and you honestly didn’t hate it.

Plus, nobody seemed suspicious. Luke’s hand had barely left you all night and you were almost convinced by him. It was soothing.

“I’m going to the bathroom and then I’ll get us another drink?” Luke suggested as he looked down at you. The two of you were sat on the loveseat outside, the warm summer air breezing past you as the others talked amongst themselves. It was the first time the two of you had been alone all night and you had relaxed into his side as you spoke. It was nice.

“Yeah, okay,” You said, pushing a smile onto your face but the anxiety was evident. Luke hadn’t left you alone all night per your request and so the thought of possibly being alone scared you. What were you supposed to do then? What if you said something stupid? Or something that contradicted what he had told them? There were so many possibilities.

“I’ll be back,” He said as he got up from the loveseat. He smiled at the others as he went and you didn’t know what to think. You sat there awkwardly for a moment but you weren’t alone for long. Soon enough the entire BAU had you surrounded.

Penelope dropped herself onto the sofa beside you, Tara perched on the arm of the sofa. Emily and JJ pulled their chairs from where they’d been sitting to in front of you. Spencer and David were lingering a little further back but facing you and clearly interested.

“So, how much is he paying you to be here?” Tara asked, a smirk on her face. Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head as you floundered, not even sure what to say to that.

“No-nothing,” You stammered out. Tara chuckled and glanced at JJ, wiggling her eyebrow. You adjusted your seat, “I’m serious, I’ve known Luke since we were in middle school,” You brushed off the question, trying to be cool, calm and collected. Those words would never be used to describe you but you tried.

“You met in middle school?” Emily asked, a smirk on her lips, “How much do I have to pay you to see the photos?” You scoffed and let a grin spread across your face, opening your mouth to speak but’

“Has he always had that chiseled jaw?” Penelope cut in. You let out a laugh before nodding your head.

“Oh yeah, since he was a toddler,” You joked. Tara let out a snort and narrowed her eyes, watching you for a moment.

“So, how long have you two been together?” JJ asked. You were stumped. You had never discussed that with Luke. How had you not discussed it? Had he given them a timescale? How were you supposed to answer that.

“I honestly… it’s been over a year but… it’s kind of fuzzy. We reconnected while he was still working in the Fugitive Unit so it was… kind of touch and go.” You were lying your ass off - mostly - but you hoped nobody noticed. Your friendship with Luke had been incredibly touch and go for a good year or so before he joined the BAU. You hoped that those very real tumultuous emotions made your blubbering seem real.

“So, you reconnected recently?” Tara asked. You nodded.

“Well, fairly recently. I mean, I don’t know. I-” You were floundering, breaking under the pressure of so many eyeballs on you. How the hell were you supposed to answer these questions? You had not been prepared for this and where the hell was Luke.

“So you’ve met Roxy?” Penelope asked. You scoffed as if on instinct.

“I helped pick her out,” You blurted out. Tara glanced at JJ and Emily, smirking and JJ held her hands up defensively, “I mean, ever since he came back from Iraq, it was always touch and go. I mean, he was all over, I lived in Texas and Colorado for a bit so it was only when I came to visit family that I got to see him but then I was offered a promotion here and then he ended up getting the job at the BAU. So, it worked out. But the reason he had Roxy is because I convinced him,” You rambled a bit, over explaining yourself. None of it was a lie, it was hard to explain how complicated your relationship with him had been up to now.

There were a few months when he had returned from Iraq and before you went to Texas that you spent every day and night together. Most nights, you slept in the same bed and calmed him down from his nightmares. Your endless patience had reminded Luke that he was worth the chance to get better which is why he went to therapy but he still craved the hunt which is why he went into the Fugitive Unit.

But by the time he made that choice, you were gone. Texas had taken it out of you and not seeing Luke made it worse. You felt your stomach turn at just the memories of that time in your life. You wished you had stayed in DC.

“What happened in Texas?” Spencer suddenly interjected. Your eyes widened and you looked up at him. He was watching your face carefully. How had he worked it out?

“Just had a bit of a rough time and me and Luke weren’t really speaking. So, wasn’t nice, but I’m back here now and I’ve got him so,” You shrugged off Spencer’s observations, really not wanting to go into it right now.

“What are you guys doing?” The sound of your savior made your shoulders drop. A smile spread across your face as Luke stood just outside the circle of his friends, arms crossed over his chest. He looked displeased which made you smile a bit.

“They’re just getting to know me,” You said softly. Penelope nodded, looking up at him. He hummed out in complete displease.

“I think it’s time for dessert,” Dave interjected and any reason to escape made you feel so much better. You jumped up from the sofa and rushed over into Luke’s arms. He wrapped his free arm around you and tugged you into his side, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“Your co-workers are scary,” You whispered, half-joking.

“You guys are cute but I know you’re keeping something from me newbie,” Penelope stated, glaring playfully at Luke as she walked past to follow Dave into the kitchen. You glanced up at Luke and his jaw dropped, his free hand held up defensively.

“You believe whatever you want, Garcia,” He teased back. Tara gave the two of you a curious look before disappearing into the kitchen. The others quickly followed suit and you and Luke headed in with them. He kept his hand in yours the entire time.

Everyone had grabbed some desert by now and praised you on how good the cupcakes tasted. You were just glad you had made a good impression but the nerves were still tying up your stomach. Even though nothing was wrong and you hadn’t done anything. You just felt like you were floundering whenever anyone asked you about Luke. 

It was hard to know what to say. You and Luke had always been complicated, drifting together and then apart over and over again. You were hoping that this time he’d stay but part of you was scared that maybe it was your turn to drift. You didn’t want that though.

“Hey, kiddo. Want something else?” Dave said as he walked into the kitchen. You had been lingering by the counters as Luke talked with his co-workers. They all looked so happy, grinning and wine drunk. You loved how comfortable he was. But the little alcohol you had was making your head dizzy with anxiety.

“No, no, I’m okay. Just… thinking,” You didn’t know how else to explain yourself. Luke caught your gaze, a grin spreading across his face as he looked at you. He waved you over but you shook your head but gave him a reassuring smile. ‘I’m good’ you mouthed. Luke continued to smile as he turned back to the group. It wouldn’t leave his lips but you assumed someone had said something funny.

“I don’t expect you to talk to me but I know a face of worry when I see one,” Dave said as he cleared away a few of the empty plates, piling them up on the counter. You sighed through your nose before you turned around, rubbing your hands across your face.

“Do you ever feel like things are so good that they’re bound to go wrong?” You asked. You knew that it was risky to confide in one of his co-worker’s considering the facade the two of you were trying to keep up but maybe expressing anxiety would make it so the eventual fake break-up would actually be more believable.

“Listen, you got a good thing with Luke. You don’t have anything to worry about,” Dave insisted but you shook your head. You didn’t believe that. Life was complicated and yours and Luke’s lives especially were extremely complicated, “What?” Dave asked as he grabbed a crystal glass from the side before he grabbed a bottle of whiskey. He poured out a glass, offering it out to you but you shook your head.

“Luke and I have always been passing ships in the night. There’s a few months where we’re as thick as thieves before something gets in the way and everything goes silent. But with this? I’m in too deep. If it happens again… I don’t know how I’m supposed to recover. God knows I love him but life gets complicated,” You were rambling but you just needed to get it out. It was so hard to keep it all in and you were terrified to talk to Luke about it. How were you supposed to tell him that you couldn’t lose him again?

That was dangerous territory. A decade ago, you had promised each other to just stay as you are. You were perfect as you are and now, you felt like that was all going to change and you weren’t going to be able to handle it.

“I don’t have all the answers but you’re in love. Cherish it,” Dave said as he stepped towards you. His hands rested on your shoulders as he caught your gaze. Your shoulders dropped and you nodded your head. You knew that you just needed to stop, breathe and keep going. If something did go wrong, then that’s okay but you didn’t want it to and the more you worried, the more likely it was going to be and you didn’t want that.

“Dave! Tara has a question,” JJ called from where her, Tara and Spencer were sat. You glanced at him, smiling before he nodded and disappeared off, making a comment you didn’t catch. Luke appeared a moment later, a dopey smile on his face. He looked so cute, a beer bottle in hand and his head tilted ever so slightly to the side. You thought he looked so sweet, you could have kissed him right then and there.

But you didn’t.

He reached out for your hand and you took his, happy for the warm contact of his skin against yours. It was exactly what you needed.

“What’s that look for?” He asked. Your eyebrows knitted together and that only made him lift his hand and smoothe out the crease, “You’re doing a good job,” He added. You nodded and grabbed his hand pulling it away from your face.

“I know,” You mumbled. He chuckled and twisted his hand to take yours, tugging you in.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asked. You shrugged and he shook his head, “I know you, tell me what’s wrong.” He wasn’t going to drop it, you knew that.

“I’m fine, seriously,” You let a smile spread across your face, the lightness filling your chest now that you were with him again, “Just, tired,” You lied. You were far from tired, your brain was so awake, it felt like it needed a sedative but there was nothing you could do about that except go home and try and sleep the anxiety off.

“Okay,” He mumbled softly, pulling you into a hug. He believed you for now.

next chapter (coming soon)

[johnny-slaughter-me]

— “ 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭. ” | Johnny Slaughter x Gender-Neutral Reader.

Headcanon. My take on a fluffy alphabet with Johnny.

Notes. English isn't my native language so typos and grammar issues are likely.

Warnings. This fic is sfw. Canon gore and cannibalism mentioned.

Enjoy. I hope you enjoy the content. Much love, Cherry. 🍒

- A. Activities, how they spend their time with and without their s/o.

Without you, Johnny mostly spends his time hunting or preparing for hunts. Hunting is (almost) everything for him. It gives him a thrill to chase and a sadistic satisfaction when he kills his prey. With you he'd grown to love more of what nature the backyard has to offer, whether it would be the sunflower fields or stargazing at night from the bed of his truck. He really enjoyed spending time with you and had learned to appreciate the simple moments you two could share together.

- B. Beauty, what do they find pretty about themselves and their s/o.

Johnny has a charming look, he maintains a certain figure as it helps him in hunts and in loring and tricking victims, Johnny wouldn't be out here calling himself beautiful. He boosts his ego though other means, mostly ones relying on strength and power, so he finds his arms to be one of his most admirable physical features of himself. As for you, it was something in your eyes, that captured him and had made him decide to keep you as own of the family rather then dinner. He'd learn so much about just from how your eyes reflected your feelings. He can get lost in them for hours if he had a chance.

- C. Comfort, how would they comfort his s/o.

Johnny isn't one to talk things through, he is a man of patience, as seen through his incredible hunting skills, but his exposure to social interactions is limited. He takes pride in how strong he is, depending on the situation he would either hold you in his arms, let you take your time to calm yourself while knowing he is there for you, or physically and verbally defend you if you are in a situation that calls for it. Needless to say, he'd kill for you.

- D. Dream, how do they picture their future with their s/o.

There's not a lot of room for change in Johnny's life, he isn't planning on it either. Family is for life, and he wants you to be a part of it. Some nights he'd dream of you finally eating human flesh and not the meat of the dead rabbits he'd hunt down for you. Help the family deal with the victims and enjoy it as much as he does. He wants you to truly devote yourself to the family just like he does .

- E. Equal, how much effort do they put in the relationship compared to their s/o.

The relationship you have with Johnny is never going to be an equal one, considering it started with you originally being kidnapped for dinner, and the fact that he and his family can always turn you into it at any given moment puts you in a powerless position. However he does his best to accommodate you, hunting rabbits so you won't eat human flesh, getting you basic necessities from his trips to the city, spending quality time with you during the short windows of time he has off "work". You had also grown to like Johnny and you try to help around the house, and spend whatever time with Johnny you can, always reassuring him that you love him.

- F. Fight, how are fights between them and their s/o.

You and Johnny haven't fought much, nothing big at least. If you had you'd probably not be among the living. Sometimes you have petty fights, but Sissy told Johnny its probably because you are still getting used to the family and the new environment you are living in. So he'd learn to ignore it. They usually end by you apologizing to him. Johnny will never apologized, at least not sincerely.

- G. Gratitude, how grateful are they for their s/o and the things their s/o is doing for them?

Whilst Johnny's mindset is that of a savior, he was the one sparing your life and thus you are now his. I would like to believe he is grateful for you not trying to tun away, for being kind to his family and to him, and for truly loving him, a love no one in the family could ever give him.

- H. Honestly, are they honest and open with their s/o? Do they have any secrets?

He doesn't really hide anything from you. You know of the family's secret and that is what mostly shape his character. He won't necessarily open up and talk about his past or feelings though, and the one time he tried hiding something from you was the fear that washed him during the first week of your stay with the family, where you hid in one of the cars because you were scared of a hunt that went down between bubba and a victim. He'd never let you see him in a vulnerable state.

- I. Inspiration, has their s/o inspired them and vice versa.

You had inspired Johnny to also enjoy his downtime and not just the hunts. You thought him that there's more to life then the adrenaline that comes with the chase. In a similar way, Johnny inspired you to be more grateful for every moment you spend breathing, and what a true community feels like. Sure they are twisted but that doesn't mean they don't inspire you every now and then. Honorable mention is how inspiring Johnny's dedication is. Both for you, the family, and for his hunts.

- J. Jealousy, how jealous are they.

Johnny is jealous and possessive, but he manipulates his jealousy so it comes off as more of a possessive aspect then a jealous one. Johnny doesn't like showing anything that could be interpreted as a weakness.

- K. Kiss, are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like.

He is surprisingly a good kisser, Johnny mostly care about his own needs and usually kisses you messily and roughly when you two have some alone time. He won't really kiss you in front of the family. He will now return a soft good morning kiss to you, but he still prefers makeout sessions over small soft kisses.

- L. Love confession, how do they confess to their s/o.

Johnny originally kidnapped you for dinner, but after taking a liking to you he just kept you alive and toyed with you. He never really confessed to loving you, but his actions throughout the time you spend with him let you know that he does indeed love you.

- M. Marriage, do they wanna get married? What would the marriage be like?

Despite how untraditional the family is, mostly Nancy, would want the two of you to get married. That would be a way to truly have you as part of them, and Johnny wouldn't oppose to the idea of marriage with you. Johnny isn't a big dreamer but after the initial start of your relationship he fell harder and harder and he truly wants you to be a part of the family. It would also make him worry less if he has to go out of town and leave you alone since the family will never turn on one another. That is if you ignore the fact that Nancy killed Johnny's mom and stole him to raise him as her own. The ring would be simple and the wedding would just be a family dinner but with some homemade decor and a little ceremony. Life after the wedding won't be much different, the day to day would be similar, however if you wanted to have any kids, the family would help keep them safe.

- N. Nicknames, what do they call their s/o and vice versa.

Johnny's pet names for you are darlin' and doll, sometimes he'd also call you a cutie. You mostly call him honey, sometimes babe, although never baby, he doesn't like being called baby. (In bed he'd give you more dirty pet names and likes it when you call him daddy).

- O. On cloud 9, what are they like when they are in love.

Johnny's love language is actions of service, he takes pride in his physical strength and appearance. He never lets you carry anything heavy even if you are capable, he protects you if you are scared of something, but also he likes to hunt animals for you since you aren't fond of their premium human meat. The family can tell Johnny is in love with you, as usually he only thinks about himself and devotes a little bit of thought for the family, but sometimes he goes out of his way to help you or be there near you.

- P. PDA, how are they with their s/o infront of others.

He won't kiss you or call you pet names infront of the family for the longest time, he didn't want them to find something to use against him, he'd be more open about your relationship once he feels the family is comfortable with you and won't try to slaughter you. But infront of anyone other than the family, Johnny he really doesn't care. He knows he can protect you and you what they think of him doesn't matter to him. He'll do whatever he wants with you.

- Q. Quirk, a random ability they have that benefits the relationship.

His truck, he sometimes takes you on rides through the different parts of land the family owns. It's refreshing for the both of you. Johnny is always the one driving, no one gets to drive his truck no matter how much he loves them.

- R. Romance, how romantic are they? Is it creative or cliché.

Johnny is romantic in his own ways. Mostly through shielding you from danger and trying to provide for you. Sometime into your relationship you started initiating some romantic times in tbe sunflower fields or through car rides with him, and now he himself offers them to you.

- S. Support, are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in their s/o?

Johnny isn't very supportive in that regard. He wants you to be part of the family, if you want to take on a certain role within the family and its not one that will possibly put you in danger, he'd be all for it. But if you dream of your old life, Johnny would go out of his way to sabotage that and try to get you to shift your goals into ones that benefit the family.

- T. Thrill, do they need new things to spice up the relationship or do they prefer a routine.

Your relationship with Johnny is limited. You can't really leave the lands the family own but even then you are limited to safer areas where living victims aren't roaming free. Johnny's life is very much based on a routine and he has no problems with the relationship being the same. But if you suggest something new to do every now and then and it is within the boundaries of where you are allowed to be, he won't say no to you.

- U. Understanding, how understanding are they of their s/o. Are they empathetic?

Johnny is narcissistic, and he cannot undo himself into a good person. He does try to be understanding and to accommodate you. Took some advice from Sissy at first, since she had actually spend time living outside the family's land in different cultes but he mostly relayed on skills he picked up to study and capture his victims to form an understanding of you.

- V. Value, how important is this relationship to them.

Your relationship with Johnny literally means the world to him. He never knew he was capable of experiencing love like this, no matter how twisted the circumstances of what formed it are. And he also knows he will never be able to experience it with anyone else, so he places a great value on you and the relationship with you.

- W. Wild card, a random fluff headcanon.

You asked Nancy about Johnny's birthday once, and she gave you the date. You took it upon yourself to try and make him something sweet for desert and you set the dinner table with some flowers you found in the garden. No one expected it, but the family, and mostly Johnny (he has a sweet tooth) really appreciate this gesture and enjoyed the dessert. Now it became a tradition that for each family member's birthday you'd set a special table with something sweet. They all looked forward to the occasion as well.

- X. Xoxo, are they very affectionate, do they love kisses and cuddles.

Johnny is a fairly rough person at first he wasn't one to really kiss you if it wasn't leading up to or during spicy times. He did let you since day one sleep in his bed with him, and as you slowly felt yourself falling for him you started snuggling up to him at night. He never pushed you away and now he can't fall asleep without you by his side.

- Y. Yearning, how are they when they miss their s/o.

The only days you and Johnny are separated is when he has to go out of town. He can't help but miss you, and he copes with his loneliness by having a side quest of getting you something you'd like. When he finally gets back home and gifts you whatever it was that he thought you'd like, seeing you thank him each time with your eyes litting up like a child opening a Christmas present makes it all worth it.

- Z. Zeal, are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship, and how so.

Considering Johnny is a serial killer, and him and his family practicing cannibalism, him letting you live- and arguing with his family to also let you live (which is a big deal for Johnny), means he did go to lengths not normal for him in order for this relationship to work.

[ador3him]

hear me out prompts “you brought me flowers?” dragged by “i’m falling in love with you” for quackity :’)

pairing: quackity x gn!reader

warnings: nothing?? uhh its not proofread and i def overused the pet names whatever tho

requested? yes by @mcyt-trash-can

word count. 0.6k

a/n: AWHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE EYIWEGFKWGIF anyways I MADE QUACKITY REALLY SOFT AND FLUFFY LIKE JUST TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THE READER :DDDDD

“Hey babe? I going to go for a walk to get some coffee, do you want me to bring you some tea home?” y/n pokes their head into Quackitys streaming room. He lifts off his headphones from his head and turns to face his partner. “Yes please, amor. Come here first though,” he reaches his arms out and make grabby hands. They walk over to him and stands in between his legs. “What’s up, darling?” they ask moving a piece of his hair that’s poking out from his beanie. “Just missed you, been so busy I feel like we never have time for each other anymore.” He grabs the back of y/n’s waist and pulls them in a bit, so his face is resting on their chest, kind of awkwardly hugging for y/n but to Quackity its as comfortable as ever.

“Hun? I have to go if I want to make it before the bunch rush. I will back in 30 minutes tops,” they say kissing the top of his head and pulling away, much to Quackitys dismay. “Be quick,” He yells softly as they walk out of his room. A soft ‘yep’ is all he hears before the front door clicks closed.

The coffee shop y/n is going to has an attached flower shop to it that they always admired, and so did Quackity. They always come here together at least once a fortnight to have bunch or just coffee and tea for Quackity. They have never bought flowers from the shop, for no reason just always admiring them instead. But today y/n thought they’d buy some after they get the drinks.

After ordering the drinks they walk around to the flower shop part and look for a beautiful bunch of sunflowers to gift to Quackity. There is a vibrant bouquet in the fair corner of the shop with a ray of sun shining through a window onto it. They walk up to it to see it better and make sure it smells as beautiful as it looks. As suspected it does and y/n grabs it, making their way up to the counter.

“Just these, thank you,” they smile at the old lady behind the counter who begins to trim the excess stem. “Lovey choice, not many people buy sunflowers, but they are so beautiful and personally I think they are elegant,” the sweet old lady grins at y/n and wraps the bottom of the flowers in pink paper. “Well sunflowers are my boyfriend’s favourite flower, and he is working so hard at the moment I couldn’t resist buying them,” y/ns lit up at the thought of their boyfriend and his reaction to the gift. “He will love these, it’s just $12.50,” they tap their card and go to get their drinks that were ready just as they walk over.

“Darling I am home!” y/n calls through the house struggling to get everything through the door without dropping it. “I am in here,” Quackity calls from his streaming room. “I got you something,” they say pushing his door open. “Oh shit, you have some much stuff here let me help you, amor,” Quackity takes the drinks from them and looks confusingly at the flowers.

“You bought yourself flowers? You like smokey dahlia not sunflowers?” Quackity looks at y/n still confused. “They are for you!” they push the flowers toward him grinning like a manic. “You brought me flowers?” Quackity whispers astonished. “Of course,” y/n laughs. “No one has ever done this for me,” his eyes begin to water. He loves y/n for this he is in love with y/n for this. “I’m falling in love with you,” Quackity bursts into tears clutching onto y/n like his life depends on it. “I’ve been in love with you for ages, Alex,” y/n replies whispering. “Also, you’re crushing your flowers,” they laugh. His flowers, his y/n.

[possibilistfanfiction]

I love Beatrice feels about Avas gender identity (or lack of). And how, for Beatrice, her womanhood is still an important part of her, even if she expresses that part differently than other women. And how Bea is just down for the ride when Ava experiments with their gender expression, just endless support and love and just letting Ava try out whatever they want. Like the scene with the binder, Ava wasnt visibly uncomfortable or weirded out, she just said that it wasnt something for her, and Bea never discouraged her of trying it out by telling her that she wouldnt like it, or other masculine things that fit better, like the suit. So yeah, thanks for having someone like Ava who doenst give a fuck about how she "should" dress and act as told by society and then Beatrice, for whom womanhood is still an important part of, but she puts her personal own spin on it, so she still feels like herself and happy. So, yeah you said you already have two butch!Bea prompts, so I just wanted to request a Avatrice fic with some happy gender expressions/feels it doesnt have to be butch!Bea AU, if you want. But yeah, I love how you write Beas butch style but still in touch with her womanhood. (And of course her kicking ass in Aikaido class ;) )

‘wow,’ you say, a little breathless. ava grins, spins around in their tuxedo slacks and button down with the sleeves rolled up to their elbows, an old binder of yours that’s loose on them but still offers some compression underneath, paired with patent leather loafers and a tie loose around their neck. they’ve slicked their hair back neatly and are grinning, arms outstretched. ‘you look amazing.’

‘yeah?’

‘of course,’ you say, as if there was any other possibility. ava wraps her arm around your waist and looks in the mirror at the both of you together: it’s a little different, because you’re used to ava in the dresses and crop tops and flowy pants he loves, an old favorite pair of overalls — but it’s, like, really, really hot. you’ve learned through your friends and therapy and ava’s own deep exuberance around queerness that you really are in love in so many of its forms, the textures it takes and allows; while you feel much, much better and safer and more comfortable and at ease in yourself when you’re in loose, easy pants, your chest flat, your hair short, you have never begrudged ava their expansion. they’ve seen so, so much, lived through more pain than anyone should ever have to, so everything about them, even at their most annoying, is beautiful to you.

‘if i wore a packer into a cathedral, do you think i would be struck down or something?’

it takes a second too long for your brain to get unstuck from the heat that races down your spine; ava smirks. ‘are you —‘ unfortunately your voice comes out a little strangled and you have to regroup — ‘are you wearing one?’

‘nah,’ ava says. ‘thought about it, but these pants are kinda tight and if i have to sit through some dumbass pomp and circumstance at the vatican i’m at least going to be comfortable.’

you hum, the best you can do.

‘maybe i’ll wear it tomorrow with that new skirt i got in madrid though,’ she says, far too casual for the victorious expression on her face. 

‘well, you do know god best.’

‘that’s so true,’ ava says, preening again and then turning toward you. ‘gender expression, totally cool with god, if you can believe that.’

‘i suppose i can.’ ava’s smirk softens into an easy smile, one you revel in every time it’s for you, the way sunflowers turn toward the sun. 

‘plus, this little vest situation you have going on is, like, so hot. god can’t begrudge me your arms, not after all i’ve done.’

you huff at their obvious delight in flustering you, but it’s summer and very hot and, really, the light sweater vest you’d picked out to go with your very church-appropriate slacks is also quite tame. 

‘i love you,’ they say, softening again, and kiss your cheek. ‘now, let’s go scandalize some conservatives, shall we?’

you laugh, unable to resist ava’s warmth, again and again. ‘we shall.’

[snarky-synesthete]

A "Season Three" Fic to Heal the Soul

I know I've posted this fic before, since I wrote it last summer. I had a conversation with someone yesterday who was feeling sort of hopeless about the third (and final) season of Good Omens. I sent him my fic and got a message from him this morning. He'd stayed up reading it all night. I hassled him about it: "It's almost as long as the Good Omens novel! You have work today, you idiot! This is an April Fool's prank, right?"

It wasn't. He said that no matter what happened in S3, he'd be able to at least think of this fic's ending as the "comfort food" he wanted...the South Downs ending, not as a "happily ever after" but as a real conclusion: complicated, warm, and human (or at least, as human as two immortal beings can get).

He said he'd wanted to read it back when I wrote it, but he just couldn't get past the word count...but he told me today that if he'd known where it was going, he would have been more likely to start the journey. So under the read-more, I've put the section he suggested. It's not the whole epilogue - just a snippet - but he said this was the part he needed to read to settle his ambiguous anxieties about S3...

(you can read the whole thing here:)

So again – it wasn’t perfect.

Crowley had to teach himself how to want things, rather than just avoid the things he didn’t want. Aziraphale had to teach himself that his opinion wasn’t necessarily the correct opinion simply because it was his own. They were both still learning to de-code their interactions with each other. It was a challenge, after so long, with such high stakes. Still, they were learning. The lads helped. Nina and Maggie helped.

They helped each other, mostly.

The cottage sometimes sat quiet for weeks at a time. Crowley would occasionally let loose the incorporeal infernal core of himself out into the universe, slithering out among the stars he’d once helped to build (after carefully depositing his corporeal form safely in the spare bedroom…it made Aziraphale deeply uncomfortable to leave it just lying empty in their own bed). Aziraphale often lent a hand in Heaven (and, on occasion, Hell). He also spent a great deal of time in London dealing with all his business in and around Whickber Street, accepting with a begrudging respect the records that Maggie foisted off on him as he learned to become comfortable with change. (The ZZ Ward vinyls had become his favorite…Crowley had developed an almost Pavlovian response to them, in fact, as her music seemed to trigger something demanding in Aziraphale. Crowley had learned to hydrate, when the angel put on a ZZ Ward album.)

Still, they would both return. The cottage would light up again, full of music and laughter and all the other sounds of life on Earth. Aziraphale would discover new and exciting endearments for Crowley, just to watch him sputter. (Sunflower was still Aziraphale’s favorite, closely followed by honeybee. Sunflower himself refused to comment on the matter.) Crowley would put too much honey in Aziraphale’s tea just to taste it in his kisses later. Aziraphale would pick bouquets of wildflowers just to see Crowley’s sunflower-golden eyes light up, even as he complained of his bees being doomed to starvation, if you keep this up, angel, honestly.

Aziraphale never did get his favorite old waistcoat and jacket back from the park, after he had so carefully taken them off to avoid ruining them as he fought to Crowley’s rescue. The clothes were long gone by the time he was finally able to get back to retrieve them. Crowley, the darling, had searched online for them at antique clothing auctions and had scoured all the thrift shops for miles, but with no luck. Aziraphale had kissed him and thanked him for the trouble, but told him to give up the search.

After all, nothing lasts forever.

No thing lasts forever.

Luckily, love is not a thing at all.

Love is an action verb.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower, Book 1, Chapter 21 (for real this time)

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: Drinking, mentions of a condom- wrap it before you tap it, even when you're shit faced drunk but remember kids, you can't technically consent irl when you're fucking wasted.

AN: I have edited the rest of the chapters for this thing. It is taking impressive self control to not dump the like 15 remaining chapters. Be proud of me. We've started outlining book two now here at Kit's Maddness.

Masterlist Kofi AO3

~~~~~<3

Tom made popcorn while he waited for Mia to change. Sure, there was a solid chance she’d come back and continue to give him the scolding that he knew, in hindsight, he deserved but he would make it up to her. 

It was cheesy, he knew but he had blankets and drinks set out as the shower ran. Nothing strong enough to make them drowsy but hopefully wine would be enough to loosen her up and help conversation flow.

Candles were lit and the lights were all dimmed low. He was gambling, he knew that. He’d already fucked shit up once today. It seemed like gambling was what he was always going to do when he came to Vegas. 

It wasn’t a card table or a slot machine he gambled at though, it was love. The prize was the biggest jackpot of all- more than he ever thought he needed. 

“Oh, wow.” Mia’s eyes scanned the dim room as her towel dried hair dripped down her back. 

She was not expecting something like this. Considering Tom was already in his tee and sweat pants, she expected something casual and low effort. Just existing in the same space, doing their own thing and being together. 

This was certainly casual but far from low effort. Tom would have had to have the candles all over the apartment delivered though she wasn’t sure who or how he could manage that on such short notice. Had he been planning this for longer than she had thought? Mia didn’t know where the wine came from though. Could wine be delivered? Perhaps it was from the small store within the complex. She couldn’t be sure, she rarely purchased wine herself. 

“Surprise?” Tom held his hand out to her. “Could I have the honor of taking you in on a date?”

“In on a date?” Mia was sure her brain had to already be shutting down for the night. His sentence made little sense. 

“Well, we’re not going out on a date since we’re staying in. So, ‘in on a date’?” Oh, he thought he was cleaver. The smile on his face showed how proud of himself he was for coming up with that line.

“You’re such a dork.” Mia laughed as she gave him her hand. 

She had gotten more comfortable with his light touches of affection at some point. When exactly it happened, she couldn’t begin to say. They were a part of having Tom near. 

She struggled to initiate them herself but she was beginning to look forward to his slight touches. It was still overwhelming to know that he was so comfortable holding her hand, let alone how he would drape his arm around her waist or run his hand across her back as he moved around her. Hell, it was overwhelming just that he wanted to hold her hand.

But he was in it for the long haul. Or at least to see if the long haul was possible. 

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.” There had never been a man in Mia’s life who would have gone through all this trouble just for her. The amount of time, effort and planning he had spent. 

“We’ve got wine, popcorn and your choice of movie.” Tom said, leading her toward the couch.

Two of her throw blankets were draped on either side. She appreciated the thought. Tom didn’t assume that she would want to share blankets, cautious and respectful of her comfort. 

He had his laptop hooked up to the TV, screen half open and Netflix waiting for them to make a selection. The binder full of her DVD’s was sitting on the table and he waited for her to provide direction. 

“What if I want to watch something with you in it?” Mia teased.

“We’ll then you’re out of luck.” Tom laughed. “I’m not on Netflix.”

They picked older comedy off the Netflix catalogs. Something funny with a touch of romance. Tom didn’t seem to mind the lack of action and the romantic undertones, not issuing a single complaint much to Mia’s surprise. 

Was that because he actually liked those kinds of movies or was it simply because it fit the mood he had set? She didn’t know. 

It had been two and a half weeks since they had married. It had been a strange two and a half weeks. But they had come far in their relationship. She was comfortable thinking of him as a friend at the least. She could even see him as more than a friend but if she was asked to define what that meant, she couldn’t say. 

This wasn’t the type of evening friends set up for eachother though. This was something more. It was romantic and special. This was more than friends.

They sat close together on the couch, thighs just touching and legs stretched out on the coffee table in front of them. The each had their own lap blanket and the popcorn bowl was balanced in Tom’s lap.

It was romantic and yet comfortable in the flickering light of the candles as midnight quickly approached. Mia had expected Tom to be on his phone, tending to whatever business he had to deal with on the other side of the ocean but he ignored every little ping and buzz that sounded from the device. His eyes hardly glanced to it when the screen would light up, balanced on the arm of the couch.

It was the dedicated attention that Mia appreciated most of all. She couldn’t remember the last time any man had given her his whole attention for such an extended period of time, especially when it wasn’t really needed. That, along with the effort made him so dangerously unlike any other man she had spent time with. 

Mia eventually found herself sitting up straight, legs crisscrossed and popcorn bowl in her lap. It was nearing midnight and she needed to stay up at least another two hours but it was starting to get hard to keep her mind from floating away on the fog of sleep.

The romantic movie had been switched out for some horror thriller, nothing with a lot of gore but something to hopefully keep her awake. Mia liked scary but she did not like slasher bloody. It was something that was getting harder and harder to find as years went by. 

Tom was less comfortable with this choice. He wasn’t a man she would have thought not to like a horror movie but he was full of surprises, wasn’t he?

She flinched into Tom, grabbing his arm at the latest jump scare. Swears fell from her lips as she tried to calm her heart. Being as tired as she was, it made her far easier to startle. The fact that they’d shared a few glasses of wine didn’t help.

Tom couldn’t help but laugh at her. “You picked this movie.”

“It’s keeping me awake, isn’t it?” Mia countered. 

“We could watch something else?” Tom offered, leaning into her for a moment.

Mia glared at him as he lounged back, relaxed on the couch as if he belonged there. When she let go of his arm, he stretched it out along the back of the couch. 

“Why, are you scared?” Mia teased. 

“No, darling. That would be you.” 

They continued the movie, each dedicated to seeing it through though both finding themselves jumping here and there. Eventually, Mia leaned into his side. 

Tom didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure she even noticed as she began to relax into him. It felt like he was being cuddled by a wild animal, if he just breathed wrong perhaps he would scare her away.

The movie was reaching it’s climax. The jump scares were coming faster now and the next big one sent Mia’s face right into his chest to hide. Tom flinched from the scare as well, arm jerking down off the back of the couch and pushing her closer to him. 

It was a weird natural reflex. What did his brain hope to accomplish by it? Hide behind her? Protect her? 

“Okay, okay. I think that’s enough of that.” Mia had fistfuls of his cotton shirt clutched in her hands as she peeked at the TV. 

“It’s just about over.” Tom rubbed her back. “We can make it.”

He had feared she would move away from him again as they returned to the movie but she didn’t. Instead, her head rested on his chest and her legs curled up under her. He didn’t mind at all that her knees were resting on his thighs.

It had been a long time since he had been cuddled on a couch while watching a movie. It was something simple but god, he hadn’t realized how badly he missed receiving such simple affections. 

Sophia hadn’t been much for cuddling in the last few months of their relationship. She hadn’t been much for him at all, if he was honest. There had been no room left for affection after the smothering pressure of her career and his, the press and prying eyes. 

It was with Mia he learned the appeal of dating someone outside of his world. He had always thought it was best to stay within his career for dating prospects but no, what he didn’t know he needed was something normal. 

“We made it through!” Mia said, he head still resting on his chest. 

Tom’s eyes flicked up to the screen where the credits had begun to roll. He had been stuck in his head and missed the last of the movie. 

“Indeed we did.” He said, gazing down at her. “Is it late enough or do we need to pick another?”

Mia looked up at him, shifting her weight and pulling away slightly to do so. She was shocked to find his face right there, looking down at her. Their faces were so close, lit by the TV and the candles. 

“I’m not sure.” It was hard to think. Looking into those blue eyes so close made her brain short circuit. “Thank you, Tom. This is nice.”

“This is nice.” He agreed, rubbing his hand down her back.

His lips were thin, something she wouldn’t usually find attractive in a man but they fit him in a way she couldn’t explain. Her eyes flicked between features, taking in how the different lights played over his high cheekbones and defined nose. 

He was beautiful but not in a overly perfect way. Humanity was etched into his face and his actions. Sure, he could be a bit full of himself at times but he was always willing to make a joke at his own expense. 

She wasn’t able to think about his cheekbones or eyes anymore though. Her brain wasn’t able to do much of anything at all when his soft lips brushed against hers.. 

It was careful and slight, evaluating her response. Pulling away for a short moment, he waited for her to push him away as his heart hammered in his chest. This wasn’t a hug or a hand holding but the moment seemed right. 

When she failed to pull away, instead continued leaning into him, he kissed her again. There was less hesitation in this kiss. The contact between their lips was firm but not harsh. 

She supported her weight with a hand on the couch cushion though her other hand still rested on his chest. Under her finger tips, his heart beat a million miles an hour. 

Her lips moved against his, following his lead. As he leaned into her, he pulled her to him with the hand that had been rubbing her back. Shifting his weight, he turned to face her. His other hand cupped her cheek tenderly, long fingers curling around her jaw and into the hair below her ear. 

Their first kiss, at least the first kiss that counted tasted like popcorn salt and butter.

~~~~~<3~~~~~<3~~~~~<3

Tom stood, shucking his towsers off his legs, doing his best not to fall over in the process. There was a champagne bottle sitting in a partially melted bucket of ice on the dresser. Grabbing it, he popped the top and scooped up the two long stemmed glasses next to it. 

The hotel had provided the bottle as a gift for their marriage, likely arranged as soon as they booked the wedding chapel. Tom poured the glasses and set the bottle back down. 

She had sat up while she waited for him. There was a blush on her cheeks as she greedily took in his naked form. That was a view he promised himself he would never forget regardless of how drunk he was. 

Tom downed his glass shamelessly. He didn’t give her a chance to finish her glass as he crashed his lips into hers. She kissed him fiercely back, not sparing a thought to the liquid in her glass, spilling on her and the bed. 

Tom had her on her back and the glass was long forgotten. His hands were on her. It felt like he was everywhere, she was surrounded by him. She was drowning in her need for him. 

“Condom.” She struggled to have the breath to speak, trying to cling to some sort of sense through her need. “We need a condom.”

~~~~~<3

Tag List: @winterisakiller @alexakeyloveloki @jennyggggrrr @dangertoozmanykids101 @tilltheendwilliwrite @tinchentitri @wizardcherryblossom @kats72 @buttercupcookies-blog @violethaze @soulpiercing @evedia @princess-ofthe-pages

Leave me a note with your thoughts! Comments and reblogs both are loved. Pay attention to me? I'm a needy plant...

[bigdumbbambieyes]

happiest of birthdays to my bub, my best friend and twin flame, @hephaestn 🤍

“I had a dream,” Billy murmurs into Steve’s sleep-warm skin, his cheek pressed to a firm shoulder as they cuddle in the early morning.

His boyfriend is still rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he replies in an equally soft voice, “Yeah?”

Because Billy doesn’t dream much anymore, not after what happened in the summer of 1985 — and if he does, it’s usually a nightmare of gore and monsters that has Steve shaking him awake.

“Yeah,” Billy whispers, wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist to gently and easily move his pretty boy onto his side to pull him closer, so Steve’s back is to his chest, “You were in it.”

“I was?” Steve smiles as he glances over his shoulder, their eyes meeting easily.

A nod is all Billy gives him, and a kiss to his shoulder, because he loves the way Steve looks when he wakes up. Soft.

“What was it about?” Steve murmurs, facing forward again while sliding his hand under the blanket to trail his fingertips along Billy’s forearm, smoothing his palm across the back of Billy’s hand, where it rests over his heart.

Billy goes quiet, for a moment, as he thinks of his dream. He tries to remember the details as he really begins to wake up, tries to grasp at the dream before it can slip away.

“I was a kid again,” he begins quietly, his mouth pressed to Steve’s shoulder, “At my old house, in California. My mom always used to plant rows of sunflowers in the backyard and they always grew so tall—taller than the fence,” A soft smile graces his face as he recalls it, “And in my dream, it was a warm day. The sun was shining and I was staring up at the sunflowers when I felt you stand next to me. You were a kid, too, and you pushed my shoulder and yelled ‘tag!’ then ran off laughing.”

Steve huffs a tiny laugh at that, clearly imagining it now, too.

Billy’s smile grows into a grin, comforted to know that Steve isn’t thinking about how weird he is for dreaming such a thing, “I ran after you and we chased each other through my mom’s garden under the sun, laughing, until I took your hand and lead you into the sunflowers, where we found the secret raspberry bush that my mum planted for me when I was a baby. I ate raspberries there every summer, until she…she…”

His throat closes up a little, because while he’s done a lot of healing with his mother’s abandonment, it still catches him off guard sometimes. Steve squeezes his hand gently, reassuring him quietly while asking, “Did we eat the raspberries?”

Billy nods, his mouth softened into that tiny smile again, “Yeah. We picked them and put them on our fingertips, ate them one at a time. And then we collapsed onto the grass in the backyard and talked, about something I can’t really remember, but I remember the way the grass left marks on your face and how our fingertips were stained pink. We laid there for a while and promised to be friends forever and then my mom called us in for lunch and then…then I woke up.”

They let the dream float in the air between and around them for a moment, soaking it in, imagining it in their minds as they cuddle.

“That’s a nice dream, baby,” Steve finally murmurs, thoughtfully thumbing over the back of Billy’s hand slowly before looking back at him again with his big, earnest eyes, “I wish I’d known you when we were kids.”

The sentiment is sweeter than the raspberries in his dream. It brings tears to his eyes as he whispers, “Me, too.”

Steve makes a soft sound at the sight of tears, eager to soothe because then he’s turning around in Billy’s arms to press him down onto their mattress, their lips meeting in a kiss as gentle as the sunlight.

Billy clings to him, because even if he didn’t have Steve when he was younger, at least he has him now.

[dilf-din]

I Said I’d Never Let You Go (And I Never Did)

Pairing: Joel & Ellie, brief Tommy & Ellie

WC: 2300

Warnings: language, PTSD mention, dissociation mention, allusions to Silver Lake but no explicit details, hurt/comfort

A/N: thank you to my dear betas and friends for looking this one over for me :) @starchild0985 @sunflower-0180

The title is from Have Faith in Me by A Day to Remember which is Joel & Ellie coded if you squint

Ellie and Joel had arrived back in Jackson in the middle of the summer. Warmer days were instantly a welcome distraction as Ellie felt the chill start to uncling from her bones. She started to think that maybe she wouldn’t always feel like this, a prisoner in her own body, bound by skin tainted, stretching so hard to contain her inner turmoil she feared it might snap. She picked at her cuticles until they bled, bit her nails until she couldn’t. Sometimes, she snapped the extra hair tie around her wrist over and over, the sensation keeping her grounded, as if she might drift off and never come back, course charted for the moon, the sky a welcome safety net.

She spent a lot of time in the stables during the warmer months, finding horses easier to talk to than people. Ellie found a particular kinship with Shimmer, a chestnut filly sporting a white blaze down her face. She spent countless hours brushing out her coat, sneaking her apples, and telling her stories. The regular barn workers just smiled when they saw her approaching every day, noticing the way she brightened up when she was there. She had come to Jackson closed off and apprehensive. No one knew the full extent of her story, but anything that made the burdens easier to carry was encouraged for everyone who came through the gates. Besides, she wasn’t bothering anything by being there.

School starting back up in the fall was another routine welcome to both Joel and Ellie. At least he knew where she was most of the day. He tried to give her space. A lot of days, she would wander the woods for hours, perch in a tree and wait for animals to cross through. She was quickly filling the sketchbooks he had found for her front and back. Using pencils until they were barely nubs. She kept her knife on her and used it to sharpen them back into a point as needed. Joel usually found her by the accumulating piles of shavings at the wide base of a maple.

“Supper time,” he would say.

“Almost done,” she would squint, tongue pressed between her lips as she put the finishing touches on a sketch of a starling, pulling wide strokes down then erasing the tips to mimic its shiny feathers. She would then shut her sketch pad and shove it into her backpack, grabbing a low hanging branch to swing down to the ground. Joel always held his hand out to steady her, and she always grabbed it, whether she needed the extra balance or not.

A chill was making its way back into the air as summer wound down. Not having to face the sweltering heat meant she could spend more time outside and less time drenched in sweat. The red hoodie she always donned to cover her bite less likely to raise questions on cool afternoons than ones where the sun beat down, tinging the tips of her ears and the apples of her cheeks a soft shade of pink. She liked blending in, avoiding attention. Enough time had passed now that the two of them were no longer the topic of every conversation. Patrols over the summer had found a few straggling survivors and brought them in to recover and integrate into the community, so she was no longer the new kid.

Life there was slowly beginning to make sense for the two of them. They ate most of their dinners in the meal halls at night. Joel cooked them breakfast in the mornings and packed lunches for them both to take when they went their separate ways. Most evenings, they spent time on the porch reading, or Joel would teach her a few new chords on guitar. She could sight read music like a natural, just picking it up like she had done it her whole life. The library had a few music books on the shelves that she checked out regularly until she memorized every song on the worn pages.

When the moon settled high in the navy sky, and the stars spilled across the horizon finding their place in the mural, Ellie would perch on the front steps and point out constellations to Joel.

“Those three right there make Orion’s Belt. And that orangey looking one up there, that’s his shoulder. It’s called Betelgeuse. It’s 750 times bigger than the sun.”

“Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice,” Joel called over from his rocking chair.

Ellie shot him a confused look over her shoulder.

“It’s from a movie. Michael Keaton?”

She gave him the same look she had given him when he asked her if she knew who Linda Ronstadt was.

Joel sighed, “I’ll see if Tommy has a copy.”

Ellie pushed off the steps with a groan. “It’s getting late, old man. I’m gonna go shower and hit the hay,” she announced, pressing a kiss to his temple. His hand rose to his shoulder to give hers a quick squeeze before she retreated into the house.

“Night, kiddo,” he called after her.

As October faded into November, each morning brought grey clouds that hung thick in the sky blocking out any hope of golden light. Frost regularly crawled up the windows of their home without the sun’s rays to melt it away. Ellie would trace the patterns from the inside with her finger, feeling like a storm cloud was hanging over her, a shadow she couldn’t outrun. She didn’t quite know how to name the feeling. A sense of dread tinged with panic, a heaviness dropping over her shoulders like a thick winter coat.

Joel noticed the melancholy she walked hand in hand with. He would say things like, “I’m here if you want to talk about anything,” before the two of them turned in for the night. She always gave him a sad smile colored with gratitude before declining. She didn’t know how to open up, and he certainly wasn’t going to force her, send her running like a deer hearing a twig snap. She had felt like prey before; she knew what it was like to be hunted.

So, he loved her quietly and closely. Sometimes, he left a note scrawled in her lunch with a crudely drawn smiley face or heart. He brought her every comic he could find, made sure to always save her his dessert or slip her an extra slice of bread at dinner. At night, after she showered, she would always sit on the floor in front of him in their living room. His rough hands never smoother than when they were brushing through the tangles in her hair and separating them into even sections. He lovingly tucked each piece into matching French braids, securing the ends with two small elastics. When he finished, she would lean her head into the crook of his knee and close her eyes. His hand would reach forward and stroke her cheek or scratch the bit of her back between her shoulders.

His touch anchored her night after night. When she felt like she was drifting, out of body, out at sea, his voice was able to call her home. The bright light of his love cut through the clouds, calmed the waves. The two of them were linked together in a way most people would never understand from the outside. The months they spent together forged an unbreakable bond. Each knowing the other inside and out, their tells, their tics, always at the ready to jump in after their friend if the darkness started winning.

Seeing her like this scared the shit out of Joel. He recognized the vacancy in her eyes like it was a mirror of his younger self. He heard the screams for help in the silent moments, when she looked to him with tear-stained eyes and dark circles so deep he feared she’d never catch up on sleep.

The cold weather was starting to take a toll on him as well. He was opting to stay inside and woodwork when he could, passing off some of his patrol shifts to younger folks on particularly windy days. His hands ached with age and poorly healed breaks. He spent a lot more time than usual clutching hot mugs and stretching his tired fingers out in front of the fire he kept blazing in their living room.

Ellie rushed out to school that morning like she normally did. Losing track of time, pulling on her shoes haphazardly with her lunch bag hanging from her teeth.

“Take your hat, it’s mighty cold today,” Joel said as he refilled his coffee cup for the second time that morning.

She pulled it off the hook and over her ears, mumbling a, “Bye Joel!” through her full mouth.

He smiled and watched as she scrambled down the stairs and around the corner towards the town.

She had been looking forward to school lately. Her age group had been reading plays aloud for literature, each person playing their own part. Right now, they were doing The Importance of Being Earnest. She giggled at all the word play, asking Joel to keep an eye out for more books by Oscar Wilde while he was out on patrol.

Mrs. Jones had seen the way she really took to acting out the parts, so when she had to call her name several times to get her attention that afternoon, she started to worry.

“Ellie, honey, is everything okay?” she knelt down in front of her, concern coating her voice.

Ellie’s eyes were glued to the window, thousand yard stare and color drained from her face. She barely registered the figure there in front of her; her mind was somewhere else. Outside the window, snow had started to fall, the first of the season. Once her eyes registered the flurries, she was gone in an instant.

Mrs. Jones peeked out into the hallway and was relieved to find Tommy there, checking some of the heating vents.

“Tommy,” she whispered loudly, drawing his attention away from the ceiling tiles he was fidgeting with. He stepped down from the small ladder and walked towards her with his brows knit together.

“Is everything alright?”

“It’s Ellie, she’s, I don’t really know. I can’t get her to talk to me.”

He nodded and followed her back into the room. She did her best to divert the class’s attention back to her and the play while Tommy knelt in front of her.

“Ellie, darlin’, can ya hear me?”

Her glassy eyes were unresponsive as he gently grabbed the book from her hands to put in her backpack and sling it over his shoulder. He took her hands to help her up, and she followed blindly, stumbling obediently out the door after him. He draped her jacket over her shoulders and pulled her into his side as they exited the building. The wind was biting. He gritted his teeth and squinted for visibility keeping his arm tucked tightly around her. She was heavy and weightless at the same time.

“We’re just gonna get you home, honey, okay?” he said softly to her, trying to constantly whisper reassuring things into her ear, red from the wind. He wasn’t sure how much she could hear, but he wanted her to know that he was there. She wasn’t alone, no matter what prison her mind was holding her in.

The walk to their house was quick on a normal day, slowed slightly by her stumbling steps just now. Tommy got her up the stairs and rapped loudly on the door. Joel heard it faintly from his shop, setting aside the piece of maple he was fashioning into a bookshelf for one of the older ladies in town. He made his way to the front door with a slight annoyance at the repeated knocking, instantly sobering up at the sight of Tommy holding up a haunted looking Ellie.

“I don’t know what happened,” Tommy said, urgently shuffling her inside and helping Joel set her on the couch.

“Snow,” Joel said grimly. He lifted the jacket from her limp frame and tossed it to the side.

“Ellie baby, can you hear me?” he asked gently. Her gaze was locked somewhere behind him. He knelt down in front of the couch, steady hands rising to hold her cold cheeks. “Ellie, it’s me, it’s Joel,” he pleaded.

At the sound of his name, she shifted her gaze to lock eyes with his.

“That’s it, baby. It’s just me. I’m here,” he smiled softly.

She lifted her arms up towards him weakly, and he knowingly rose to sit down beside, her pulling her into his lap. She buried her face in his neck, cold nose sending a chill down his spine.

“I’ve got you,” he promised, pressing gentle kisses to the crown of her head.

Tommy clasped Joel’s shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before retreating out the door.

Joel’s arms wrapped tightly around her, the smell of his old flannel and the feel of it against her cheek, the sound of his voice calling her name, the scratch of his beard against her forehead all working in tandem to pull her back into the light bit by bit.

He held her for hours like that, steady as an oak tree, arms like branches holding her against his strong heartbeat. He never stopped talking, murmuring against her hair that she wasn’t alone.

“Thank you,” she finally squeaked out, voice barely a whisper, but he heard it.

She felt his lips turn up into a smile, and he pressed another kiss to her head.

“I’ve got you, baby girl; I’m not going anywhere.”

[sasster]

Pretty Doll

Uhm. Marrie makes a wrong turn in the Church of the Divine Dreamer. That shouldn’t be a problem, right?

[here’s a doc if you need it!]

—

The ring on Marrie’s finger catches the light in a way that makes it difficult for her to focus on anything else, not even the part of the church that she’d meandered into after visiting her friend. Cold metal hugs the warmth on the wooden digit and brings her great comfort, she giggles as she admires the black ring decorated with gold and silver sunflowers around the rings circumference. She has received many gifts in her life, but this might be the best she’s received yet!

She has no idea how she is going to thank Nymira for her kindness.

Distracted by her gift on her way out of the church, she hardly notices when she rounds a corner that she’s never gone down before. She only realizes when suddenly the beautiful lights that decorate the Church of the Divine Dreamer seem to cut out as she finds herself standing in a dark, dimly lit hallway. The walls are barren and lead down a large, empty corridor to a single solitary door at the end.

That is curious!

Marrie has visited this church dozens of times before, and this would be her first time getting lost in it. It makes sense in hindsight — She is usually escorted out by Somnia or Cylion when she leaves. They were busy, it seemed like a no-brainer at the time.

At the end of the hall the strange door calls her attention, she tilts her head and stares at it for a while longer. This thing feels so much like it doesn’t belong. With the deep deep scratches that adorn its frame, claw marks that look like they were made by some wild animal. The door itself seemed dented out from the inside, warped and buckling from the blow of something with impossible force.

Drawn to the damage, Marrie takes the few steps forward that bring her closer to it. She gently touches her finger to the bubble that protrudes from the wood.

Anyone with a sense of curiosity would find themselves wondering about what could have caused such a scene.

Surely Cylion at his most irritated does not have so much strength in those fists. Somnia doesn’t seem the violent sort.

An angry lusus perhaps?

It seems out of character that they would keep some poor creature locked up when it so clearly wants to be let out.

Could it be a feature from a time before these halls were a church?

Suddenly there is a soft click and the door begins to open, Marrie takes a step back and to the side, instinctively pressing herself up against the wall and allowing the darkness to envelop her.

She probably shouldn’t be on this side of the church.

The person on the other side of the door steps out into the hallway and then stands to his full height — Or as much of it as he could before being stopped by the slight hunch in his back. Even in his slump, the doorway lands a good inch or two under his head. With a face cloaked by shadows, the most notable feature on him are his claws, one of which still gripping onto the door frame as he makes his exit.

Those are certainly the tools that were used to cause the mysterious structural damage, of this fact Marrie is now sure.

She says nothing as he passes by her, heaving heavy breaths as he does. She breathes out a sigh of relief of her own when he turns at the corner at the end of the hall.

If that man is Nymira’s father, Marrie at least owes her friend the respect of not judging him so harshly for his looks. She loves him quite a bit.

But no one would blame her. He is scary.

The marionette tosses another glance at the room he emerged from, the door leaving behind a gaping maw that leads down the stairs to his dwelling.

Really scary.

With her gaze trained on the room, she starts walking back the way she came. Maybe it would be better to retrace her steps, find onf of the two yellow bloods she is used to and have one of them show her the way out. Yeah. That sounds like a safe bet.

Before she can really settle on that plan, however, she slams right into a very solid surface. The sound of wet breaths immediately fills her ears, causing her to swallow a scream of her own as she takes a couple of frantic steps back to find that very same beast leering down at her.

He looks much bigger up this close.

The pair stare at each other in silence. Well, relative silence. His wet breaths fill the air as he studies her. After an eternity of this he opens his mouth to speak, but a hiss takes the place of words.

With an audible clack he shuts his mouth, crazed eyes darting around from her face, to the wall, her hands, the floor, the doorway. All over.

Instead of speaking, he reaches up and tangles a massive hand in her hair. Each finger finds a strand to coil around. Once again he opens his mouth, using his tongue to wretch his lips apart.

Then.

Then he grins.

“Pretty doll.” His voice rasps forward and she immediately misses the silence.

She recoils at the sound, but the dancing fingers become a fist in her hair and hold her in place.

“Pretty doll.” He repeats, much more forceful this time.

Favion unwinds his hand to free it of the strands and claw-like nails brush the back of her neck. Marrie shrinks back into the wall and he stands a little straighter, eyes no longer darting about as he seems to have settled on fixing his gaze squarely on her.

His chest rises with each raspy breath as he drinks in the sight.

Marrie swallows.

“I was just leaving.” She mumbles, unable to tear her eyes off of him. “I was just going.”

“So soon?” His response sounds more like a troll this time, at least. A claw grazes the bottom of her ear as he takes an earring between his thumb and forefinger. “I have never seen any of his life sized work before.”

Marrie says nothing, a chill jolting through her core as he admires the sign that dangles from her ear. The signifier of her status as one of Ailzea Roatus’s descendants. The sound of wood knocking together ecoes out into the hallway, her shaking knees broadcasting her fear in their struggle to hold her up.

The beast in front of her seems delighted by this response.

So many questions, thoughts, and concerns run through her head and ties her tongue into a knot.

How does he know her dad? Why is he so fascinated by her? Is she going to die?

None of these questions manage to surface, only the frantic fear that has settled over her face and contorted her features.

His teeth clack audibly once more and he moves his hand to her shoulder, a firm grip that roots her in place.

“Please, sir- -”

He shushes her, it sounds more like a hiss.

“Irritating. They did not used to talk.”

His annoyance is not for her to respond to, not that she was afforded any time to come up with one.

Very suddenly a great force is placed on her shoulder that sends a seering, white hot pain through her entire body. First a snap, then a deafening crunch.

She can’t feel the heaviness of his hand on her arm anymore.

[alexandra3719]

Ultimate Comfort Kit Guide <3

As an ADHD girlie who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, I want to share with you some great items that are part of my comfort kit because, neurodivergent fellows or not, staying home or traveling, I want to give you some tips to build your own:

Noise cancelling headphones: to be specific, mine have a wire because I'm not a big fan of wireless headphones because I'd always forget to charge them, so I got a pair of noise cancelling headphones with two wires and its little bag to carry it everywhere on Amazon.

Favourite stuffed toy: mine is a banana minion because my dead cousin loved minions and I feel her close when I hold it by my side.

Water bottle: since I drink a lot of water, I bought this 1lt metal water bottle. It's a bit hard to carry it around, but at least I'm sure I have enough water for a long time and I won't have to refill it immediatamently (I tried another water bottle my uncle got for me, but I had to refill it every five minutes). You can also bring a bottle of your favourite drink, along with the water.

Pillow: I have a favourite pillow. It's a Harry Potter pillow I got when I went to Primark for the first time in Italy and it's the best pillow ever. It's so soft , such high quality material and it's so comfortable. I love it and it's part of my comfort kit.

Blankets: along with my pillow, I always carry this Nightmare Before Christmas blanket my parents got me a long time ago.

Medicines/supplements organizer: let's make this clear.. it's a must have because this item changed my life. I sometimes forget to carry my medicines when I travel or leave home to go somewhere and this is good because you can take it on your flights in case you travel often and you can take a single box for each day of the week to carry it with you like if you need to take some medicines right after dinner and you're at the restaurant.

Lavender spray mist: I spray it all over my bed before to go to sleep or when I feel very anxious or stressed. It's easy to carry everywhere and suitable for blankets and bedsheets.

Salt lamp: I have one at home, but I'm planning to buy a smaller one that powers with batteries to carry in my backpack during trips.

More things I suggest are: box of tissues; phone/tablet/ipad/laptop + chargers; Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer with case to hang to your bag/backpack; sunflower badge to wear around your neck if you own one; fidgeting toys or activities like coloring books with crayons; your favourite books or comics to read; anti nausea wristbands; vicks vaporub jar or vapopads; essential oil diffuser with your favourite oils; whatever you may need or whatever makes you comfortable (they don't call it 'comfort kit' for nothing) <3

Let me know in the comments or my ask box what you guys think of this guide, what's in your own comfort kits or if you have any items to suggest.

Tags for visibility: @judgementdaysunshine @romanthereigns @domripley @livslunaticdamiansdisciple18 @whois-jess

[randomfoggytiger]

The Mulder Family In-Depth (Part I): Colony and End Game

Bill and Tena (not “Teena” because of a Two Fathers script I read that spelled it that way, thanks @x-files-scripts for posting them~) Mulder are “two complicated, flawed, beautiful people” that deserved a deep-dive of their own. In doing a frame-by-frame, however, I discovered there was more than meets the eye to their character; and, slowly, one post turned into who knows how many. So, without further ado, let’s begin. 

Pilot

During their first case, Mulder stops being a jerk to his little spy when Scully shows up at his motel door, shaking and scared. After the dust has settled and all is calm, he opens up about his sister’s abduction and the fallout it had on his family: “I was 12 when it happened. My sister was 8. She just… disappeared out of her bed one night. Just gone, vanished. No note…. It tore the family apart. No one would talk about it. There were no facts to confront, nothing to offer any hope.” 

The only one who seems to have found hope and comfort from the past is Mulder, who goes on to explain how he found the X-Files and used hypnosis to recall his sister's abduction. He never mentions what his parents' thoughts are about this path he has taken; and doesn't bring them up again for a long time.

Aubrey 

The first memory Mulder relates of his father is in Aubrey as he and Scully bat the likelihood of genetic predisposition back and forth: “Whe-when I was a kid, I’d have nightmares and I’d wake up in the middle of the night thinking I was the only person in the world. And I would hear this--” crunching down on a sunflower seed to illustrate-- “My dad would be in the study eating these.”

This was obviously comforting to a young Mulder, likely stretching to a time before Samantha’s abduction when his family hadn’t fallen apart yet. (It also ties into the discussion on insomnia later in this post.)

Colony

Mulder and Scully are interrupted from their mytharc quest by a summons from Skinner, who relates that Mulder’s father had been trying to contact him all afternoon. 

Mulder runs to the basement to call Bill Mulder back; and is shocked when Tena picks up. As she passes the phone off to her ex-husband, Mulder shifts his cellphone nervously to another hand. His nerves are only heightened by his father's cryptic answers-- "I received a very strange phone call this afternoon. I called your mother. We think it is extremely important that you come up here as soon as possible.” 

It's important to note that Bill tells Mulder that both he (which he denies later) and Tena wanted their son to "get up here"-- the up-here meaning Tena’s house in The Vineyard. What’s interesting about that is: Bill has not separated a meeting place with his son from his former wife’s house, all three of them taking for granted that they’d meet at Tena’s. It’s such a blurring of boundaries and lines that it’s easy to see why Mulder blurs those boundaries constantly with Scully, modeling his parents’ separate-but-not-really relationship. 

Mulder has shifted in full-blown panic while Bill continues to dodge questions-- “I’ll know more when you get here”-- and hangs up, much to Mulder’s frustration. 

Mulder leaves immediately, dumping the investigation in Scully’s lap.

When he arrives at the Vineyard, Mulder is stopped from walking inside by Bill on the porch-- “Your mother needs some time.” 

Mulder goes in for a hug naturally, implying that at some point hugs were a tenuous normal between them, at least in times of crisis. 

When Bill swiftly blocks his attempts with a hand stuck out for a handshake-- 

Mulder is aggrieved, but accepts it. 

He is further pushed away by the distance Bill places between them: “SHE wanted you to come. It’s a difficult time.” He almost implies that Mulder was invited up because Tena requested it, not because he wanted his son there. 

Bill Mulder appears distant and cold from the first moment we see him. The invitation and longing seems to be, by his own words, from Tena; and Mulder’s emotional outreach appears to be personally undesired and refused. 

However, it’s incredibly important to note his facial expressions and relaxed posture whenever Mulder isn’t directly looking at him;

because, once his son has been redirected away from scrutinizing, Bill’s real feelings slightly bubble to the surface: he’s nervous and unsure. His smoking seems to be a distraction or a crutch as he tries to relate his jumbled feelings about the whole affair:

“The certainty. The calmness-- a comfort that allows you to move on. We bury our memories so deep after all that has been destroyed… never expecting--” 

Here Mulder cuts his father off, having observed his mother through the window talking with a woman and roughly wiping away tears with her handkerchief: 

The first time we see Tena is as a dynamic woman: her hands are traveling all over her scrunched up face, expressing intense emotions through her jerky movements and mile-a-minute talking.

Bill reveals that the woman is Samantha, with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. (And, though the music is swelling menacingly and not painting him in the best of lights, in retrospect he isn’t menacing or smug: just… processing the shock in his own way.) 

Tena is wide-eyed, amazed, bewildered, and hopeful when her son walks in the room.

After a night spent talking and processing, Mulder takes an active role in putting Tena to bed: 

As he settles her in, Tena reflects: “After all those sleepless nights, I can hardly keep my eyes open.”

Mulder pulls her down gently, turns out her light, exhaustedly tries to softly soothe her for sleep-- "Well, you're exhausted. We all are. It's after 5:30."

Tena response?  “Oh, I just need a couple of hours.” 

She continues to comply as her son reiterates “Try and get some sleep", settling more firmly against her pillows and watching as he tucks her in, turns out her light, gives her a kiss, and begins to close her shades.

This interaction is CRUCIAL in the early stages of Mulder and Tena’s relationship dynamic: 

1. Tena is afflicted with the same insomnia issues as her son. In fact, the two of them demonstrate an underlying rote awareness and second-nature routine as he becomes her caretaker-- pulling back the covers, settling her pillows, and guiding her into bed-- and she a compliant but wired patient-- “Oh, I just need a couple of hours”-- after having spent all night talking and enduring an emotional upheaval. (Insomnia doesn’t seem to simply be a post-traumatic response connected to Samantha’s abduction: Mulder states in Aubrey that he would be up late, or wake from a nightmare, and hear his father comfortingly cracking sunflower seeds in the study. Since these memories are from early childhood, it’s hard to speculate how late Bill Mulder’s habits were in comparison to a young boy’s bedtime.) At the very least, Mulder and Tena seem to have bonded over their terrible sleep routines. That would also explain how Mulder is a natural at tucking Scully in or letting her sleep on his shoulder. 

But most importantly: 

2. Tena and Mulder have an emotionally open relationship (or did until Demons.) Most often I find theories, meta, or fics depicting Tena as cold, aloof, or withdrawn; but this firmly establishes that she has no qualms talking about her vulnerabilities with her son. And furthermore, she has done so in the past, often enough that Mulder takes her declaration as a fact that doesn’t faze or surprise him. It explains Mulder's comfortability with emotional expression-- wide-eyed in his earnestness to not only help Scully heal in a crisis, but to empathize with victims and the downtrodden. It also explains why he gives so many forehead kisses and comforting hugs: he expressed his love and care for his mother in those ways, and she likely did it for him as well when he was small. It seems, however, that since Samantha's abduction the role has solely fallen on Mulder because of how effortlessly they fell into these heartfelt but wonky dynamics.

Before Mulder can leave, Tena pops back up and asks fearfully: "Fox, it is really her, isn't it?"

Mulder smiles, tired but content; and replies: "I don't see who else it could be."

Tena is not very reassured;

but she trusts her son and his instincts. When he further admonishes her to "Go to sleep", she sinks back on her pillows

and obediently closes her eyes against the worry.

As demonstrated, Tena and her son’s relationship is heavily baked in trust and trauma. She obeys his every word, clings to his every assurance, leans on him more than he leans on her. It’s a credible reflection of Mulder’s insanely trustworthy character: so many people rely on him and trust him on his word alone-- his mother, Scully, Skinner, TLG, even acquaintances and informants-- willing to put their jobs and their lives at risk to stand by him. Because Mulder is pure Truth: he lives by what he seeks. 

Now: does this mean Tena is a compliant wallflower who does the bidding of everyone around her? No. Her stubborn, tough-as-nails nature will be explored in a future post about Talitha Cumi. 

Regardless-- thus ends Colony. 

And thus begins-- 

End Game 

After the loss of Samantha (who no one knows is a clone at this point), Mulder leaves Scully on the bridge with an ominous parting statement: ”I already told Skinner, that was the easy part. Now I gotta tell my father.”  

This is when Bill Mulder’s true nature is revealed: emotionally disconnected and harsh to protect against the scars of trauma. 

Bill arrives at Mulder’s apartment with an expression much more open and, perhaps, optimistic than he had on their previous meeting.  

He even starts the interaction by teasing his son-- “You didn’t have me come all this way to give me good news”-- which is a fascinating window into how Mulder developed his sense of humor.  

The fact his dad is so cheerful and trusting is a further blow to Mulder, who had seemed to recover his family in one night only to lose it himself, again, in the next.  

Bill sees that disaster lies ahead, donning the armor of stern anger to smoke out the truth. His son has become a suspicious character to interrogate and correct. 

Mulder turns back-to, shakily explaining: “Samantha’s gone… Dad. I lost her.”

Bill pauses for a couple of heavy seconds, baffled, unable to wrap his mind around that thought. 

When it clicks, he begins speaking rapidly-- “what do you mean ‘you lost her’?”-- taking swift steps into the room. For a split second, raw, vulnerable fear and hurt is written all over his face:

Mulder keeps silent for a stretch; but finally explains that his partner had been held hostage and Samantha needed to be exchanged. While he is fumbling with his words, his father’s eyes begin to glisten, and his mouth becomes more and more pinched to keep back the emotion. 

“You let this man take your sister? …Isn’t that what you’re trying to tell me?” 

“I… can’t explain it to you”-- Mulder pleads-- "But, um, I believed I was doing the right thing, Dad.”

His gestures are unsure: hand flailing as he tries to grasp an explanation, eyes averted to the floor, head bowed, shoulders hunched. Bill reads this all as guilt of thoughtless action, which turns to useful anger he can use to blockade off his feelings. 

As Bill perceives it, his son’s actions have hurt him deeply, and lost Samantha for possibly the last time. Despite knowing how dear she was to the family, his son traded her for the safety of a work partner from (likely) the very people that had taken her in the first place. Bill sees this as reckless, and harshly punishes his son like a child who has killed a little bird in his careless actions. Chastisement has become the modus operandi. 

“Was this your decision?” 

Those words will haunt Mulder to his dying day...

(or would have if Samantha had not been a clone.) 

“Yes.”

Bill Mulder was a military man; and you can tell he trained his son by those hard standards as well. He stands erect before his father, shouldering the blame and answering his commanding officer with a direct affirmative. But at the same time the little boy peeks through--trying to protect himself by tucking in his chin and manfully facing his punishment instead of slinking off into the corner to cry.

And like a little boy, he tries to show his father he's learned how to be good and take responsibility for his actions: “I’ll tell Mom.”

Bill continues his correction speech: “Do you realize what losing her again is going to do to your mother?” His barely restrained tears give away his true meaning: Do you realize what you’ve done to me?

While he expects straightforward honesty from his son, Bill himself practices deception by avoidance. He cannot bear to peer into the darkness of his own emotions and pain; so, he deflects them by projecting onto Tena. 

When Mulder falters and doesn’t answer, Bill’s thinly held anger seeps through with more his clipped, uptight inflection:

“Do you?” 

He is exuding more outwardly forceful control because his own has internally slipped.

Here it is demonstrated how alike and dissimilar father and son are. They both protect Tena in their own steadfast ways, but in very different ways. Mulder comforts and soothes her distress while Bill tries to guard her from the pain by wrapping her in protective layers from the outside world. He is angered that an unavoidable heartache was brought to her doorstep because it’s another home he couldn’t keep the conspiracy out of, following her even when she had tried to escape from his connections by leaving him. You could easily make the case that Bill is still in love with Tena-- whether it’s in a fond, by-gone-days affection bred by guilt or love that couldn’t be revived after the horrific loss of his family (similar to what Scully and Mulder went through during their breakup years.) 

Mulder tries and fails to compose himself as his face crumples and his voice cracks: “I’m sorry, Dad. I-- I’m sorry.” 

Bill turns abruptly to leave, overwhelmed; but pauses when he remembers the envelope left by Samantha for Mulder. 

“Your sis--” his face softens, almost cracks;

then hardens as he copes by distancing himself as quickly as possible-- “...Samantha left this at the house for you.” 

Mulder's anguish overcomes him again at the thought of a posthumous letter from his sister;

giving Bill ample time to retreat, slamming the door behind him.

This next part is still relevant, as it demonstrates Mulder's coping strategies he learned from his parents.

Mulder softly grasps the letter, expecting it to be a heartfelt note; but is surprised to see she'd written cryptic instructions that leads to an abortion clinic. He immediately turns tail and flees from his emotions by running headlong into his quest for answers, uplifted he can distance himself from the bog of guilt and head towards more active salvation. He may have lost Samantha; but perhaps he can redeem his failures with the Truth. He sees hope in that. 

Thus ends End Game. 

Thank you for reading! I will be adding more parts in future; but that might take a bit. In the mean time--

Enjoy!