#back away from the nerd XD

[cottonlemonade]

hi!! could i get a medium roiboos tea for here with tsukishima

Two Nerds Being Married

warnings: spoilers

request: fluffy night in with husband Tsukishima

“No, listen. I hate this scene and here is why. From a purely ethological standpoint, any predator worth his salt would not leave a sure meal behind to waste precious energy on chasing much smaller prey like this!” You gestured at the dumb T-Rex on TV, your voice getting heated. Your husband Kei fixed his glasses and regarded you with amusement as you went on.

“There is a perfectly good dead triceratops right there! Sure, of course he would chase the little humans away. I get that. For a few steps maybe. But there is no way he would pursue them for that long! Go back to your food, you dingus!”

“May I point out that you wanted to watch Jurassic Park?”

“I did. But when I asked you to put it on I thought you’d choose the first one! The masterpiece! Not the third one.”

You slumped back onto the couch and into his arms, feeling his shoulders shudder with suppressed chuckles. Turning to look at him, realization dawned.

“You knew this would annoy me, didn’t you?”

And Kei burst into laughter. It took him quite a while to regain composure.

You crossed your arms and grumbled, “Just you wait until I tell all your friends and coworkers that you would love to be Ben Stiller in Night At The Museum.”

Kei choked, “Hey, I told you that in confidence!”

“Well maybe, if I had a husband who wouldn’t intentionally bait his wife into rants I might reconsider.”

“Maybe you need a different husband then.”, he deadpanned.

“Maybe I’ll tell Hinata how much you missed him while he was in Brazil.”

Kei froze, then immediately pulled you close, setting multiple sweet kisses on your cheek, forehead, nose and lips, giving your soft figure a loving squeeze for good measure.

“I love you very much, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

a/n: I feel very strongly about that third Jurassic Park movie in case you couldn’t tell xD this was such a fun request! I hope you enjoyed it ^^

[quitealotofsodapop]

I love and find it funny when people headcanon Wukong as a nerd. He is after all The Intelligent Stone Monkey. I really don’t like this misconception that he’s stupid (I blame Dragon Ball).

It was mentioned that Wukong having a sibling gave him the opportunity to lean more into his shyer and softer side. I also imagine that being the older sibling of an immature younger brother made him grow into being a bit more responsible. Not by much, but enough to notice.

I’m also curious how this slight shift in personality affects Wukong’s relationship with Macaque. In the show, Mac has been implied to have been quite shy during the Brotherhood era. And Wukong’s loud and energetic personality often caused Mac to fade into the background. I don’t know whether or not he minded back then.

But would meeting this still ridiculously powerful yet a bit less rough-around-the-edges Monkey King affect how Macaque carries himself around him and others?

And what about the other people in Wukong’s life? Nezha, Guanyin, the Noodle Gang, the Pilgrims, the Bull Family, and the Brotherhood of dickwads?

Prev.

Luzhen and Wukong have a very Cuphead and Mugman tyoe of dynamic to them.

Basically with Luzhen there to be the assertive twin, Wukong (then "Shihou") didn't feel the need to Pretend in order to make friends or be taken seriously. And of course being the more responsible of the two, Wukong stepped up a bit when it came to raising his younger twin, even though he was only a cub himself.

Irl infant macaques will carry newborns if no one is around to help.

Even when Wukong left to train with Subodhi (something Luzhen didn't even bother doing), Luzhen had to face the reality of what Being the Responsible One was like for his older bro. The second Wukong left, Flower Fruit Mountain seemed to have a million problems at once. Luzhen certainly isn't a politician, but he tried his best to govern their people in the years his King brother was away.

To say that Luzhen was relieved when Wukong returned from school would be an understatement.

Although the Brotherhood had the Seven Sages at the helm, they certainly had other unoffical members - their names kept off the record for their protection. Luzhen had zero interest in the political side of the Brotherhood, but still got involved running intel and generally causing havoc for their enemies.

Wukong didn't have to show off and act the party animal to the rest of the Brotherhood if Luzhen was there to be himself.

Which meant Wukong found himself having more time to bond with the softer-spoken Six Eared Macaque...

Luzhen was ultimately the final boss for Macaque in asking for approval to marry Wukong. Luzhen screamed with joy for his brother, before pretending to act aloof and disapproving. Luzhen's only demand was that Macaque "stick with him through tough times".

A demand that gets echoed during a certain imprisonment under a certain mountain... the break-up isn't the last time Macaque visit Wukong while he's imprisoned. Though things stay tense for a long time afterward.

Yellow Tusk and Peng like Luzhen as a friend, but they agree that he's not the most discrete agent. They choose Wukong over him in leading the charge, something which Luzhen is okay with. Luzhen is lot quicker to ange though, so a sly comment from Peng can quickly turn into a fist fight. XD

Azure's reaction though? It's... concerning. His devotion to Wukong as their rebellion's matyr is unchanged - but now he has a "back-up". Someone to latch onto mentally when Wukong "fails" his expectation of him. Luzhen thankfully is pretty quick to peace out when Azure starts acting "odd" around him, and decides to officially quit the Brotherhood when they denounce Wukong as a traitor.

DBK thinks of Luzhen as another little brother. Being an older bro himself, Bull sympathizes with Wukong when it comes to being the Responsible One. But he also gets along with Luzhen like a house on fire since they've similar boisterous attitudes towards life. Together they share only one brain cell.

PIF is *super annoyed* by Luzhen. Ugh, why is he so disrespectful towards his older brother and acts like he can get away with everything? (PIF's own elder sisters roll their eyes at the irony - Tieshan was The Baby of all the royal Princesses). PIF does get a long a bit better with Wukong, appriciating his quieter soft-spoken side. The two happily have brunches together where they talk about life and gossip about the immortals.

Nezha immediately indentifes Wukong as being a Big Brother, being the youngest of three boys himself. He huffs a little bit when Wukong treats him like he's a younger kid (this lotus boy is older than both monkeys put together) but appreciates Wukong's cool head, especially when he meets Luzhen for the first time. XD

Guantin would still be a tired sister/mother figure towards the monkeys, just amplified by there being Two of Them. She is distinctly aware that while Luzhen is the more "troublesome" twin, Wukong hasn't really had any time to be his own monkey. She thinks Wukong would benefit more from a Journey of spiritual enlightenment than his bro would - mostly because Luzhen would have found a loophole to the Circlet on Day One and there'd be minus one Monk. XD

The most shocked out of the Noodle Gang are MK and Tang - "The Monkey King has a brother!?" Obviously because this is an amazing discovery! It's like learning of a lost mythology figure or hero! And ofc Luzhen soaks up the attention from both of them like a sponge.

Pigsy's overall opinion of Luzhen is an annoyed shrug. Who cares? People have siblings who aren't as fampous as they are. Though his opinion of Wukong is vastly raised. He, like many, had thought of the Monkey King as a drunken, reckless party-animal. But now Pigsy learns that Wukong was just an older brother wanting to become stronger to protect his family and people. And that a lot of the stories of his wild personality were misattributed to Luzhen. Pigsy refers to Wukong with a bit more respect after learning about his twin.

Sandy is cheerful to know about Luzhen. A little brother?! It's so nice that they get along so well! He also recognises that Wukong is a lot more well mentally than if he was on his own - he didn't have to bare the weight of the world with Luzhen at his side. Sandy does get a little annoyed when Luzhen's more inconsiderate actions affect the team however...

Mei is confused. Isn't it like, known that the Monkey King had a brother??? Her family records def mention the little guy - he was the one who broke a bunch of weapons in Uncle Guang's armory. Don't mortal textbooks say that? Either way, she's happy to have a new bud to party with! This monkey man can rock!

Red Son is confused; "There was two monkeys??" Turns out Luzhen tricked him as a baby into thinking that the blue-eyed monkey was just a durable hair clone, and that "Luzhen" was his nickname. Red's whole childhood flashes before his eyes XD

And of course there's the world as a whole having Zero clue that Luzhen is a geniune person... except some mortal who saw his name in a second-hand dragon scroll and decided to use it for his own novel, but thats a story for another time.

[totallynotsilversora]

Hey nerds guess who made another thread about Vash's shooting skills during the finale of Trigun Stampede?

This nerd right here!

(( AGAIN! ))

Because Studio Orange has been driving me insane with how great Vash is as a gunman not just cinematically but realistically! I am NOT getting over this for a while my friends.

Of course, if you hadn't watched the finale yet and want to avoid spoilers, just know this post is gonna be filled with them and if you'd like to see my first analysis on Vash the Pro Gunslinger you can check it out here on tumblr and here on twitter before reading through this one!

Speaking of the bird, this post is also on twitter below:

Oh but wait, don't have one? No worries! I've retyped everything below so you don't have to look at the bird app if you don't want to!

All posts mention guns and shooting because otherwise this analysis would not work at all.

NOW LET'S ROLL!

First off, again, I’m going based on what I remembered from shooting air rifles & other research I’ve gained over the years! Second, I’m not an OG Trigun fan, so do take this thread with a grain of salt!

With that, let’s dive into THEE fight scene:

So right off the bat we’re getting Vash’s “smooth criminal” shot! Notice how he’s lining up his body sideways with his pistol vs forward like in the past. That’s exactly how you’re supposed to shoot one handed: feet shoulder width apart and aligned w/ the gun.

Normally you’d want both feet planted on the ground when firing but since Vash HAS to stay on the move to avoid getting hit AND is being a cocky little shit to his brother, he lets himself lean forward to fire and use that kick back to gently guide him into his next step.

Again, you NEVER fight what’s considered natural movement with a gun! You WILL get hurt! If you want to aim properly you NEED to be relaxed and composed. Vash isn’t fighting against the force of his gun, he follows it with the confidence and poise of a dancer on stage.

And speaking of dancing just look at how Vash makes Knives dance over puddles! Vash has impeccable aim yet he deliberately chooses to shoot in areas that could stun or stumble Knives, knowing he could block the shots, and distract him as he goes behind the corner.

Remember how I said lining up sideways is how you shoot properly? Here he’s firing straight forward using the corner as his shield. Had he not been holding a ticking bomb in his hand he would probably rest the gun on his other hand like he normally does on the rock jutting out.

The second he fired his last shot he dips down to reload and LOOK AT THAT!!

He is practicing proper trigger discipline again!!

You do NOT keep your finger on the trigger when loading in order to prevent misfire. That is BASIC SHOOTING SAFETY!!

And he does this throughout the fight!

When he turns away from Knives to make his way to the corner he lets go of the trigger before he turns back around to fire at him!

He can only hold 8 bullets in that gun and he will make each one count!

He can NOT afford to misfire.

Why??

Because that bullet he loaded was going STRAIGHT FOR KNIVES! Vash is NOT messing around! At this angle it looks like he aimed and could’ve hit Knives' NECK which would be super hard to dodge close range. Knives would have to bend backwards like he did here to dodge.

Shout out to everyone at Orange for the incredible work put into Vash and his shooting! There’s so much care into this show I can’t wait to see more!

Bonus: while we’re here, let’s get into Vash’s stellar reloads starting with this one (my absolute favorite) :

Remember how I said Vash was being a cocky little shit to Knives earlier?

Yeah this is it at it’s peak.

Faced forward, standing still til the last second, and very slowly reloading so Knives hears all 8 clicks before flying out the window.

This is just being mean lol XD

It's because we KNOW he can reload fast! The gif below might be faster by half a second but it's still RIDICULOUS compared to the first one:

Hell, he’s put individual bullets in the chamber midair and slammed a container of them in the SAME FLIGHT! MIDAIR!!!

He did NOT have to mess with Knives like that! Dude's flexin' hard.

In any case, I can’t recommend this show enough! The amount of work and detail put into not just Vash’s skills as a marksman but the acting and storytelling - everything is superb!! What an amazing experience!

Thanks again Studio Orange and Nightow! See you again, soon!

[princess-ibri]

what would you do if you write descendants?

1. Make the kids have like, real names, not based off their parents. Maybe try to pull from the actual fairytales their parents come from?

2. Honestly I’d try and just do that overall, tying it back to the og stories and such

3. I’d actually pair up the VKs with their corresponding HKs, not necessarily meaning romantically pairing but thematically. The kids who’s parents have personal beef should be actually clashing and learning together

4. Have Melody there! Heck have Glauco there. Pull from the deep Disney lore, make it an actual nerd fest for the references and whatnot, use it to celebrate Disney’s long and varied history

5. Not have the whole “The Heroes resurrected the Villains to punish them more”— cuz that’s insane and makes them look incredibly vindictive. If you want them all alive have some Uber-villain resurrecting them and the Isle is their villain base where they all plot on how to attack the Heroes. Maybe they have the kids go in doing a Kovu maneuver, they ask to be taken in away from their parents as an infiltration move, but then they realize “ oh wait…our parents are the Bad Guys and actually treat us all really bad and as cannon fodder actually”

6. Have the Parents be actually decent people like in their movies?? And not have all the HKs be shallow brats, their parents would not raise them that way. And if the only way to make your anti-hero kids look sympathetic is to have everyone else be a Jerk, that’s just lazy writing

7. Not have it be weirdly modern day. If we must have the heroes all existing at the same time and they want a modern’ element, maybe do something like Ella Enchanted did? Like, we have Ye Olde Mall and there’s peasants cranking the escalator xD

Anyway that’s just some basic thoughts xD

[fanficfish]

nations and their little "tells" of how long they've lived

there is definitely a post somewhere about this but whatever this is my hadcanon xD

-England and his three big bros are the prime example of "going a little crazy", they've been alive so long and half of it through the Mideival Era that they've lost concept of a lot of stuff. Like their touch with reality is a little screwed and you definitley notice they don't quite get some stuff, like they'll miss empathy cues or slip into mannerisms from days long past. Use old English, etc. They're the wacky cousins that ar just a bit confused but they're trying, even if they get on everyone's nerves a bit. Also they're still figuring out how emails work, because while their personalities change according to their people their actual knowledge doesn't always keep up.

-Russia, i think that one's obvious, man's had such a time that he's spent so long plastering a smile that he's basically forgotten how not to not smile. And you can't undo centuries in a day. You see his true nation age when he takes everything and doesn't bother trying to question it no matter how ridiculous, when he stops a tank with his bare hands and walks it off, when he's surprised people don't usually try to jump out planes without parachutes.

-countries with violet eyes like Canada, Iceland, Norway- they blend in too well, they resemble the quiet kid in the back of the class (personal headcanon it indicatess magical inclination). You realize they're not quite human when Norway turns his head and hos haircurl floats midair and his gaze is just a bit too knowing, when Iceland makes a remark well beyond his physical age and you remember he's a thousand years old, when Canada- actually no the bear is enough proof.

-And then there's China and Japan, two old men who look young but have that sense of knowing more then they let on like Norway but without the creepy blank look that comes when one has Seen Too Much. Instead they travel through life like they don't have a care, as if every day is a lfietime in Neverland. Especially China. Japan also just looks tired all the time even if he isn', from stress lines that never go away.

-Prussia is that fun work colleague who suddenly turns into a history nerd out of nowhere and then flips back to normal wild mode. He's the one who tells tales like he actually was there, he and the wrest lf the BTT really. It's like they rememebr, because they do.

-Meanwhile Lithuania and Finland seem normal enough- good hardoqrking young men doing good woek. But thebmoment they're attacked, their eyes blaze and it's like an aura radiates lff them. And you know they're stronger then they look, that they won't go down without a fight. And you'll probably be the one going down no matter how strong you think you are, because they're nations and they will always hve more power and centuries of experience. Even if it's been years and they aren't superpowers, they have the muscle memory. It's engrained into their very being, it's a part of them and if you approach them the wrong way you might get dropkicked by accident.

-Countries like Denmark and America- their smiles are just off. Denmark's is too sharp, just a amidge too much, and America's is too wide, like he's trying tok hard when it's just his natural face.

-and then there's austrailia and new zealand who are the reason Florida started fighting alligators and convinced their residents to start doing it too "for the YouTube views", forgetting rhat moat people don't have instahealing or can come back from the dtad.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

HEYY girl 💗 could I req a bam x fem reader where they’re enemies to lovers becuase y/n is just as reckless as he is?? Thank you 🫶

The Stuntgirl Rule

Bam breaks the one rule the crew all agreed on when they first added a girl to the group, which wouldn’t be as big of a deal if they didn’t hate each other. All this animosity builds and builds until Y/N finally figures out how to knock Bam down a peg.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

3.8k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, enemies to lovers, crude language, blood, snakes, misogyny, Madonna-Whore complex, injuries, hospitals, flirting, slut shaming, situationships

An: Thank you so much for the request!! I’ve come to find out I really do love writing for enemies to lovers pairings :) More than that, I got to do a lot of research for this fic with psychological complexes, especially (as the tags indicate) the Madonna-Whore complex!! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing XD I also experimented with making Bam a bit of an unreliable narrator in this one to wort of show his thought process better. I’ve been told my writing takes the asshole out of him but I’m pretty sure this fic put it right back in, so be warned! If you want an idea of the dynamic I was going for, the dynamic betwen Bam and Y/N reminded me a lot of this clip from the 2016 revival of the musical, Falsettos! Ah, my theater kid past…But thank you for the request and please keep sending more!!

Kneeling on the grass, you sat eye to eye with the King Cobra you somehow got a permit to film with. The whole “Kiss of Death” stunt got shuffled around to a couple of the other guys before it landed on you but hell, you couldn’t complain- dangerous shit was kinda your thing, and otherwise the next person in line would’ve been Bam and you knew exactly how that would turn out- the yelling, the laughing, the storming off set. All the guys stood around, looming over you with bated breaths as you slowly leaned over the snake, the hot Florida sun beating down on your skin as the air swam with anticipation. But as you were creeping in, right before your lips made contact with the Cobra’s forehead, the thing lunged at your neck. Everybody hooted and hollered as you grabbed the snake and lurched back in an act of quick reflexes, chuckling in surprise, but before you could crack some wise ass joke, your cockiness betrayed you and that smug grin on your face was wiped right off your face when you felt a pair of fangs sink into your wrist. “Agh! Fuck…” Yanking your hand back, you shook out the sting as you stumbled to your feet. Steve, who was serving as impromptu cameraman after Rick ‘refused any part in your dangerous bullshit’, focused the lense in on the blood that was tricking from your arm, “Shit…that’s gnarly, dude.” Though you probably should have been concerned for yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it looked as Johnny patted you on the back appreciatively, “That was great, Y/N!”

As you were getting walked to the medic tent, the only one who didn’t want any part in your little victory parade was Bam, still sitting half slumped back on set, glaring at you as you walked away. Big whoop, girl gets bit by snake. Last week he got on a teeter totter in the bullpen and you don’t see that on any headlines. Maybe he hated the way the guys talked and joked with you like you were one of them even though you joined the Jackass cast less than a month ago. On the other hand, maybe he was still pissed off by the very real but entirely unspoken ‘Don’t Fuck the Stuntgirl’ rule. Of course Bam brought that sorta thing up when you first joined because he’ll there’s a lot you can do once you’ve got a chick in your group, but Johnny quickly shut the idea now by saying since they wouldn’t screw any of the other guys in the crew, they’d be keeping their hands off of you. Keeps things from getting awkward when you gotta see eachother on Monday, you know? But since Bam’s running theory of you only having gotten on set after getting into Knoxville’s pants hadn’t been disproven, he wrote it off as him making the whole thing up to keep the pretty girl all to himself. Greedy asshole. Who was he to say what he could and couldn’t stick his dick into? God, he bet the whole crew was passing you around- behind trailers, in empty hotel rooms, or what about those porta-potties on set…Bam decided to stop thinking about that once some things got stirred in his mind he didn’t really want to think about too long.

Getting bandaged up in the medic tent, you hardly noticed when Bam walked in after everybody left, watching quietly and scanning you up and down from where he stood. He looked from the bruises on your knees Bam was sure he knew the source of, to your baggy clothes that always made you look like a guy with the way they sat on your body, to your hair that was unkempt and showed just how little you cared about your appearance in his eyes. You were the exact opposite of Bam’s type in women- that dark lipstick tight bootcut fantasy goth chick with a great ass that also wasn’t a bitch. Looking up from where you were bleeding through your gauze, you made eye contact with him nonchalantly, “What is it?” Bam’s eye twitched at the disinterested tone in your voice but he kept up the whole smug thing, “You cryin’?” The medic had to scoot out of the way as you leaned in towards him and squinted at the realization that Bam was getting that whole ‘hating you’ stick up his ass again. “Does it look like I’m crying?” Part of him wanted to see you cry. Bam’s eyes drifted back to your hair, thinking about how satisfying it would be to grab a handful of it and yank you to your feet with his lips pressed tight against your ear as he said every awful word he was too nice to say to your face- that he knew everything about nasty hoes like you worked, and while it was cute how quickly the guys took to you, he was getting pretty damn sick of it so it was time for you to get the hint and hit the road. But he didn’t.

The medic passed you a container of pills that you palmed and that’s when Bam got an idea, “That snake oughta be on antibiotics instead’a you.” Scoffing at his unoriginal joke, you cocked your head to the side, “Really? You think a little blood’s that nasty? Y’damn baby…” Outside the tent, there was no doubt amongst the guys that another one of your petty fights were starting and nobody was looking forward to it. Well, except you. You found the little bickering thing you had with him fun, especially with all the weak ass insults Bam threw at you. “I mean, anything that comes outta you’s nastier than whatever Steve-O’s got goin’ on in him- that guy’s a disease nest.” This was too easy. “Yeah, says the guy who let him tongue his ass wound...” Wait, you were at that party too- the one where Steve popped ecstasy and went around kissing everyone cause he ‘felt good’? Bam’s jaw clenched at the way you always had an answer to him- how dare you one up him. He jabbed a finger at your chest, “Oh, don’t talk that shit. You wouldn’t even have the balls to get branded in the first place!” Unable to help yourself from cracking a smile, your giddiness was apparent in your voice, “I got more balls than you do.” As much as you hated how much of a little bitch he could be, you always thought the back and forth thing you had between him wasn't ever that serious (a contrast to the way Bam viewed it). Delight filled you as he stormed out of the flap of the white medical tent, blushing and emasculated and- while he would never admit this, kind of turned on by the angry banter like it was some kinda foreplay.

You needed soap. That’s how it started- after shooting one day, you went back to the hotel and noticed halfway through your shower that the room service lady forgot to leave any of those tiny complimentary soaps. Groaning, you got out of the comfortable, warm, sorely needed shower and put on a towel, thinking you could go next door and get some from the guys. It’s not like you hadn’t seen them naked before, so them seeing you in a towel was no big deal. Water dripped off of your legs as you walked out into the hallway, pushing open the door to their room which was left unlocked. From what you could tell, they had gone to the hotel bar promptly after filming, so you didn’t bother to announce your presence as you walked in. However, you had one major oversight in this- Bam, who you didn’t notice from where he was sitting on one of the beds on the near side of the room. Now, you and him could have gone on just hating and fucking with each other and everything would’ve been fine, but this one incident would change it.

From where he sat on the bed, Bam silently watched as you walked around like you owned the place, softly humming to yourself as you rummaged through their shower- through his shower, the towel you wore riding up dangerously high on the backs of your thighs, skin still glistening wet as you bent over, nabbing a few little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. He glared at you with contempt through your reflection in the mirror. You’d probably do this even if the whole crew was here, wouldn’t you? Just stroll on in, nearly naked, parading yourself around in front of all those dudes like it was nothing. Shameless. He knew better than anything what that kinda porno logic setup would devolve into. Wait- christ, was he…? Oh, oh yeah. Yep. Bam couldn’t believe himself- he was actually getting hard. More than that, you had no clue he was there in the first place even as you turned to leave, and you wouldn’t have noticed him at all if he didn’t stand up to catch your attention. “What’re you doin’?” Turning around, you met Bam’s gaze, maybe six inches away from his body as you held up your towel with one hand and presented him your spoils in the other, “I’m getting soap…?” Unceremoniously plucking one of the bottles from your hands, he squinted at you like he was accusing you of something, “So you think y’can just waltz on in here and take my shit whenever you feel like it?”

Looking around at the empty room, you got an idea to really get under his skin. You know how Bam uses his little rich boy MTV paycheck to get whatever he wants? Well your pockets may not be lined as generously but you still found a way. Taking a step forward, you pressed your body right up against his, the same way you saw all those flirty girls do to him at the bar, letting your towel slip down a little as your voice dropped into a teasing coo, trying to provoke him, “Aww, what’s the matter? You don’t like sharing?” While you were referring to the soap, Bam took it as a double entendre and thought there was no way you didn’t mean it in the way he was thinking- what with the way your chest was squished tight against his torso or how you were practically straddling his thigh in, and this is important here, only a towel. In your eyes, this was the same as any other day you were going back and forth on set, but Bam, oh. He could feel the surge of hormones in his bloodstream as his breath caught in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. The way your body was curving against his nearly made him forget about why he hated you so much. Snapping back to reality, he couldn't tell if this was anger or lust that made him speechless, but it was probably a mix of the two. Leaning in closer, you pressed your lips close to your ear, his very obvious state of arousal only fueling your teasing as you words fell slow, melodically from your lips as you enunciated, trying to keep yourself from laughing and fucking it all up. “I’m gonna take this soap back to my room, and I am going to rub it over every inch of my wet. Naked. Body- and you are gonna do nothing about it. So, uh…” Reaching out with a grin, you grabbed the bottle back from Bam’s frozen hand. Now, logic would dictate that this is right about when the two of you would say fuck it and start going at eachother, but that’s not what you had in mind. “Thanks!” Slipping out the door and shutting it loudly, you left him standing there- unable to respond, entirely conflicted, and hard. Fuck.

Why was this happening? He was Bam Margera- Bam fucking Margera- he could have hordes of playboy bunnies folowing him arround wherever he want and fawning over him like their lives depended on it, but noooo. He had to fall for the gross chick he worked with. Perfectly fine, well-adjusted (debatable) women literally threw themselves at his feet on a day to day basis, and the one he’s got his eye set on? Yeah, last week she was doing lines of Tabasco sauce with Steve-O off the table at Denny’s cause they got bored waiting for their food. What a catch. He didn’t even want to meet up with the guys to go pick up chicks at the bar anymore- you know, the civilized kind that wore makeup and shoes you couldn’t skateboard in. And you didn’t even want him the way those girls wanted him- you were messing with his head like some succubus. Very quietly, he sat back down in the bed and thought about some things.

Bam was having a hard time letting everything that was happening with you go- that’s not the kind of guy he is, you know? Too many big feelings in a small package gotta go somewhere. So when he showed up on set the next day, hyped up to do that stunt where he was set to get shot by a riot control shotgun wearing nothing but a leather jacket for protection, his emotions were not in any way subdued when he caught word that Knoxville gave the stunt to you. “Dude!” Storming up to confront him, Bam pulled the asshole away from whatever conversation he was having with Jeff, “I mean, seriously? You got Y/N to do the stunt and not me?” Sticking his hands up in a mercy gesture, Johnny stammered but managed to explain himself, “I’m just sayin, man- It’d work better for her! You know- you have your skating stuff, she’s got the dangerous stuff! You could always watch from the sidelines…” Yeah, real nice save there, Knoxville. Bam hated whenever you did stunts- not because he didn’t like that you were equally as reckless as him, no way- it’s just that he thought chicks shouldn’t be doing dangerous shit, and you were always there to throw yourself in harm's way, and that annoyed him. You were standing off to the side, joking around with Chris and Steve when you felt someone suddenly grab your shoulder from behind and roughly spin you around to face him, “You know, I had some fuckin’ ideas about you, Y/N, but this really takes the cake.” Grimacing, you stood eye to eye with Bam, a little too close to his body to be comfortable. “What the hell are you talking about?” Bam took a step back, eyeing you up and down as he got ready to say what had been eating away at him for weeks. His voice was tense as he nearly growled, “You’re fuckin’ Knoxville.” What?

“Wait, I’m fucking Knoxville?” You certainly were not, but your mind put two and two together lightning fast, tracing his train of thought. It was like a switch flipped in you as rage curled up in your stomach, springing out of your mouth in words that dripped with venom, “Oh, please! You’re probably takin’ it up the ass from all of ‘em!” It was only natural that you would deny it- I mean, it’s kinda taboo for people to admit that they’re sleeping with their boss. But Bam couldn’t summon the words he needed to use to defend himself from what you claimed, so he said the only words his anger-fried brain could come up with, “Fuck you!” Flashing a grin, you got all in his personal space as your voice went from anger to condescension, “Oh, you wish.” Back to the snarky shit with this woman. Okay, maybe he did, but that was none of your business. Bam pressed his lips together as he could feel the tips of his ears heating up, and he couldn’t tell if he was getting flustered from the way you were challenging him or how correct what you were insinuating was. The fact that your lips were nearly touching his wasn't helping either. Taking advantage of your close proximity, Bam quickly reached out and snatched the shotgun from where you were gripping it and dashed off.

Oh, you said Bam had no balls? Yeah, he’s got more balls than the tri-state lottery, bitch. Shoving the gun into Ryan’s hands, he didn’t even notice when Rick started filming from where he was setting up the camera for the stunt you were supposed to do. Stepping back, Bam smacked his own chest twice in a challenging gesture, looking at his best friend but saying words he wanted to say to you, “C’mon, man. Hit me. Do it!” Knowing better than anyone the way he could get into these kinds of moods, Ryan knew the only way to talk him down was to go along with whatever stupid plan he had in mind. Groaning, he steadied the sight on where Bam was standing, aiming for his stomach where it would result in the least damage, and pressed his finger against the trigger. This loud, sickening whip cracking sound made everyone on set jump. The man on the other end of the barrel doubled over with this noise you only hear out of dying animals, falling to the ground with a thump as every ounce of air wooshed out of his lungs in a second. It was the way Bam looked like roadkill with how he curled up on the ground, not making a sound or movement, that made you feel a shred bad for him for the very first time. Looking around, you were the first person to call out, “…Medic?”

Internal bleeding they said. Three broken ribs on account of Dunn’s stellar marksmanship and a gnarly bruise, or so you heard from when the guys gathered around his bedside and were all gasps and oohs after Bam pulled down the sheets in when Steve asked to take a look at it. But after everyone was done grimacing and telling him how awesome the footage would turn out, they flooded out the door and the only person who remained was you, smugly sitting in one of those stiff hospital chairs as Bam lay across from you in his bed, hooked up to electrodes and shit like they do in movies. But there was something different in your eyes as you got up to his bedside- not so much your usual loathing towards him, but more so fascination. Bam got knocked down a peg, and you were satisfied knowing his ego was bruised alongside those abs of his he so loved to flaunt.

Bam’s words came out in a weak mumble as he looked up at you, “What d’you want?” As much as he tried to appear all tough and be a big angry man, you couldn’t help but find the sight of him laying back with his hair a little messy and that glossy look in his eyes from the epidural kinda cute with how vulnerable he was. He couldn’t make fun of you when he was at your mercy like this, what with not being able to even sit up on his own, much less fight or come up with any worthwhile insults. With one finger, you pointed down to the swollen, dark purple mark on Bam’s pale skin, lit up from the light flooding in the window. You nearly snickered, “I wanna touch it.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Bam scoffed at your suggestion, “Fine, whatever….It doesn’t even hurt- oh, fuck!“ Recoiling when you poked the tender bruise, Bam nearly let out a whimper as he winced, pain shooting through his chest. Letting out a breathy groan, he muttered, his head falling back against the pillow, “Don’t- don’t do that…” Part of you wanted to laugh at him, call him a pussy, and go find out wherever the other guys were headed, but another part of you, maybe one you went too eager to own up to, couldn’t deny that he looked kind of pretty when he got fucked up, all fragile and defeated. Like it activated something primal in you, this unconscious attraction towards broken things. You came to the realization that, when that mouth and that attitude of his wasn’t fucking it up, he was pretty hot.

The thing is, both of you liked each other, but neither were too eager to jump at that whole romcom style ‘confessing your feelings’ thing, so for the next few weeks, you tried to keep up the whole hating each other charade. Like when you and him were on the mini-ramp Chris hauled to set with his truck to give you something to do in between filming, and Bam just kept messing up whatever trick he was intent on doing that day. Up he’d go, then down to the plywood with a slam that left him a shiny new bruise- back and forth. “Y’know, it’s a lot easier to do tricks once you’ve learned to stay on your board.” You taunted, kicking up your board to stand on the one side of the ramp. But as he was about to reply with some smart ass response, Bam nailed whatever stupidly over complicated thing he was attempting. “Hahaha! Yes!” Popping his board up with one foot and, turning to you with a triumphant grin, he did one of those victory crotch grabs. “Suck it!” Ignoring the fact that, given the right circumstances, you probably would’ve taken him up on that offer, you rolled your eyes, looking him up and down in a way you hoped looked sarcastic as you spat, “Yeah, in your dreams.” Still, while the venom in your words was still there, it was dulled in a way, like a swallowing a spoonful of sugar after bitter medicine. “Oh, I’d rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass before I let you suck it!” Bam had the same shitty comebacks as ever.

And the fact that you two were phoning it in wasn’t lost in the slightest on the rest of the guys. They’d try to drop hints to Bam and say that if he’s got the hots for you that it’d be a good idea to try not being an asshole for once, but he’d just laugh them off and tell them that that’s what chicks like nowadays- assholes. But they had no clue. All anyone else knew was that the seemingly boiling hatred you had for each other had melted into a mere simmer, practically friendly banter. Maybe Bam didn’t hit the mark when he said you were fucking the whole crew, but was right about you being shameless, as he would come to find out a few weeks into whatver the two of you had going on. But now, he wasn't one to complain when you pulled him behind a trailer on set, or into an empty hotel room- hell, even into one of those porta-potties on set. Honestly, it was just like how he imagined.

[faislittlewhiteraven]

So seen a few 'What if the ISAT cast were in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon' posts...

And I'm gonna put my hat in the ring because darn it I've been thinking about this for over a week now and I want to infect others with these ideas.

Siffren: Hisuian Zorua - White, adorable AND comes free with a neck ruff to hide their face in, but well, doesn't it fit Siff extremely well lore wise too? Just a cute little guy that's a remnant of a home and life forcefully taken away, Normal enough to be among the living with no issues but also Ghost because there's something missing... Something lost that shapes them, tears at them but they just can't let go... Also they eat a lot, have a good amount of mischief in their nature and use 'illusions' for self protection so like. It's a perfect fit really~ XD (Also the 'red' aspects during the Vs Friends fight makes me wonder if in the PMD version of ISaT Siffrin is evolving so wrong somehow that the universe is breaking and a huge chunk of the fight is the party basically mashing B button in utter terror~ XDDD)

Isabeau: Ditto - No joke, Isabeau had me really stumped for ages because what kind of pokemon species goes from nerd to buff to eventually somewhere in the middle during their evolution line but then I realized 'Wow I'm an idiot. There's a pokemon all about Change that can be any form right over there!' and thus Isa-Ditto was born in my mind. I like to think he's almost always in the form of a Marchoke, Zangoose or Scrafty or something that to the others is big and buff but Isa's warm smiling ditto face always stops him from ever looking intimidating, and back in the 'nerd' days Isa probably stuck to being a Gothita/Gothorita, if only because they're about the only mon I can think of with braids and they do seem like a good form if one wants others to stay away so they can focus on studying and stuff...

Mirabelle: Minccino/Cinccino - Ok, most of my reasoning for this one is because Mira visually reminds me of the Minccino line (those eyes <3 And her ribbon! <3) but like, she IS pretty studious and helpful and probably cleans up after everyone and that's Cinccino as anything to me, plus the sheer way this mon blitzs with Skill Link... IDK I just really feel the line suits her.

Odile: Kanto Persian or Purugly - After realizing Siff, Isa and Mira were all Normal types I decided to make it a thing and since under this logic Odele couldn't be a Kadabra (as was my first instinct), the idea of her being this big old book reading cat affectionately rolling her eyes at everyone else's nonsense just had so much appeal <3 Leaning Persian if only because its design matches her visuals better but the thought of her as a Purugly feeling comfortable enough around the others she doesn't puff up her fur via her tail around them is pretty cute/very 'seems standoff-ish but is secretly affectionate Odile' so I'm still struggling to choose between them.

Bonnie: Zigzagoon - Bonnie was probably the hardest to pick out because there were so many possibilites (Aipom for the mischief? Munchlax for the cooking/food vibes? Oh but what about Meowth for their weird hug face???). But then I realized pokemon of all sorts could do all of those things and what really stands out about Bonbon is their 'NPC somehow on the big adventure and doing their best' vibes so a spunky little Zigzagoon using their 'Gluttony' expertise in food to 'Pick Up' the party's sprits felt really fitting (also they way they dart in and out of combat with their Quick Feet just. It works you know? XD). Not sure which Zigzagoon form would be most fitting for them but currently leaning Galarian if only because Siff being weak to Bonnie fits hilariously well, it matches with Bonnie's 'desire to be edgy despite still being adorable' vibes and the mental thought of them far off in the future, all grown up and protecting their family as a big bad Obstagoon gives me a ton of warm fuzzies so yeah~ <3

Euphrasie: Lopunny - Look, it's just the hair, the affectionate personality and her being really really tall compared to the others alright? Only the party is actually Normal locked to me! X'D (I could see her as an Altaria or a Mega Ampharos as well but Lopunny just feels more 'right' somehow.)

The King: Hisuian Zoroark - . . . In my defence, he's an incarnation of malice born from the loss of his home/life with long long hair who acts as Siffrin's foil, pushes them towards 'discovering the red' and yoyos between tragically lamenting and being a ruthlessly, cruel monster who would hurt a child. There was no other option.

Loop: currently torn but leaning Cosmog/Cosmeom or Mimikyu for most of the game and Necrozma/Ultra Necrozma for the Act 6 secret fight - Finally the one non Normal type! And the fact it's the eldritch feeling Loop is kinda perfect? Helps them stand out more at least, and well you really can't beat Ultra Necrozma for 'star shaped thing that is both terrifying, potentially world ending and in immense amounts of pain'. (...Also its weak to Siff's H!Zorua and Bonnie's potential Dark type so it fits type wise also XD).

Change God: Mew - Do I really gotta explain why? (Legendary, has Transform, cute and sweet but also a little bastard, etc- It ticks all the boxes XD

So... Yeah. Those are my In Stars and Time 'what Pokemon would the main cast be' thoughts.

[cordidy]

Hogwarts Legacy character's headcanon : Sebastian Sallow

My little headcanon for our boy, the list might grow as I keep having ideas :D

Growing up / Hogwart days :

He is the younger twin and Anne gave him Hell because of that, always bossing him around and teasing her "baby brother"

He was always very close to his sister to the point their parents had to hurry up to feed or change them cause whenever he was away from his sister he was all grumpy.

He would fall asleep curled up against his sister when they were babies and snored a lot so she would kick him, basically I picture them as sleeping like kittens xD.

I don't know why but in my mind he stuttered when he was young, being teased by the other children because of that. His sister broke a lot of noses in retaliation and he worked very hard with their mother to get rid of his stutter.

Anne is the one who saw their parents first in the cellar and it traumatized her so, that day, he became the "big brother" to protect and sooth her. At night, after they started living with Solomon, he would remain awake cause he knew at some point his sister would crawl into his bed and they would cuddle while crying.

The hat wanted to sort him into Ravenclaw like their parents but since Anne had been sorted into Slytherin he begged it to not separate them.

At first he was hyper vigilant and jealous of Ominis cause it took more time for the two of them to click than it did for Ominis and his sister and he felt like the third wheel.

He is a nerd, think Hermione kind of nerd, like, the guy gets detention for staying in the library after curfew and the day he discoverd Arithmancy....

If available, he would totaly take on Alchemy classes cause he likes to scratch his brain on complex subjects.

After Solomon's murder, if the player did not tell about it, he ends up comfessing to Professor Sharp.

He goes to trial, of course, but the Wizenmagot goes easy on him due to the circumstances and the fact he is still a child.

He ends up crying in Court when he realizes the people who came to testify on his behalf including his teachers (even Madam Scribner who told everyone how brilliant he was despite being a pain in her ass !), his friends (Ominis was there but not Anne) and even some shopkeepers from Hogsmead including Augustus Hill and Sirona.

He still goes to Azkaban for a month to make sure he gets the implications of what he did and spends the next 2 years in probation, seeing a conselor once a weak and undergoing evaluation to make sure he is not a danger for society or himself.

He becomes a loner when coming back to Hogwarts, keeping to himself and focusing on his studies.

He would still hang out with Ominis and the Gaunt would help him manage his night terrors but something broke between the two of them.

Speaking of Ominis, he is his only link to Anne as she refuses to talk to her brother after what he did.

Adult life :

After graduating, Sebastian would start a training as a healer in St Mungo's.

He would travel the world to study different forms of healing and would end up in remote places where he is really needed as a healer joining the wizarding equivalent of the Red Cross (I can't picture him in London or in a traditionnal hospital).

The moment Anne died, he knew it, waking up in sweat and recieving Ominis's letter was only a comfirmation. That's the only time he went back to England, for her funeral.

He never married nor had children of his own but became the father figure of a lot of kids in need.

He always kept the scars of the event in the catacombs both physical and psychological.

When he died, the nurse holding his hand said that the was smiling. She reported his last words were "you came for me ?" but no one really knows who he was talking to or if he was just hallucinating (Anne, it's Anne !)

[moodymisty]

Alright I gotta represent for us in the Rogal Dorn Simp Nation, Misty! This idea fell directly on my head from my old history nerd childhood, we’ve got stories of queens holding down the fort and being badass while the king is away so why not let the lady of the House of Dorn and the Imperial Fists kick some ass??? Dorn’s off doing y’know crusade shit etc etc and gets a frantic vox hail from Inwit (or whatever fortress world she was on) that they’re under attack. Luckily he’s done with whatever his assignment was or has somebody he can trust and leave it to so he can flip Phalanx in reverse and hop back to make sure nothing goes wrong. Only to find his beloved commanding the standing force of guardsmen and marines, not just holding it down but WINNING. On the outside he’s his usual stoic self like “psh yes of course I wasn’t worried, I never worry, this is something I expect her to be able to handle. I am proud tho” but internally he’s like “oh no this is hot” XD. Indomitable warrior queen decked out in armor he probably commissioned for her (always gotta be prepared) making battle plans and laying the verbal smack down on any captains or commissars who are questioning the competency of somebody ROGAL GODDAMN DORN chose to be with. Yeah I think that’d do a whole lot for him 😂

Having soft moments of reflection on his humanity matched against his beloved’s is delicious of course but so is meeting him where HE’S at, seeing how loving him and learning about him would change somebody. And getting to commit some grand old grimdark 40k VIOLENCE is always fun lol

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: We are on the front lines for Wall Husband I will go down with this ship. Boring this bland that fuck everyone else we're right I'm stacking bricks around them

Summary: Stuck in a violent snowstorm on an Imperial Fist controlled planet being sieged, you take command for the first time while waiting for Dorn.

Relationships: Rogal Dorn/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Dorn is your future husband and Alexis Polux is your battle husband it's like a work husband but much more violent, Mentions of battle and death, Typical 40kness, I think I blacked out while writing this I'm sorry

Word Count: 2566

You had known from the very beginning of your courtship that Dorn had wished for you to be a link in his chain of command.

What you hadn't expected, was for your first time in leadership to be completely alone, surrounded by no less than fifty Astartes waiting for orders, and five hundred or more Guardsmen half frozen due to the horrid weather; With a multitude of tech priests working on the various machinery and equipment.

This sun up makes it a week since the siege had began, the distant sounds of bolter fire constant. Sometimes the ground shakes from explosions, pulling dust off the cracks in the brick walls.

Walking down the east hall, you step into the large room that has been made into a sort of 'central command' to coordinate the current forces, stuffed tight with a massive holotable and various tech priests scattered around it. Some are working on fixing any malfunctioning machinery, such as the vox equipment that has had trouble maintaining a signal even on-planet through the storm.

You look around to see if anything drastic has changed in your absence. In the moment, you notice a familiar face; A commissar from the beginning of this week. He has the most command over the Guardsmen under you, having been their only superior before the invasion. Any captains or other commissars had been made to report to him, up until now. His closest in rank subordinate had been killed in an explosion on the first day, and in a morose thought, you wonder if they had been any more palatable than he is.

"Any progress hailing the Phalanx?"

He gives you a curt shake of his head, looking over the shoulder of the tech priest operating the vox equipment. Another harsh whip of wind batters against the walls, howling and shaking the glass windows. It rattles them almost just as bad as the distant explosions do.

"Nothing more than a few seconds at a time. But it should be enough of a message for them to understand the planet is under siege." The Commissar speaks short and stiff, face frozen in a neutral, stoic gaze underneath his uniform and few day old facial scruff. You cross your arms.

He's on his best behavior now, considering his disrespect shortly after you'd taken command had nearly gotten his head rent from his shoulders. He hadn't realized he was speaking to the Lady of the Imperial Fists, but the Astartes that had been in your company to deliver the news of your ascension in duty hadn't given him the leeway he might've thought he deserved. He acquiesced command of his guardsmen to you quite quickly, after that. There has been nary a squeal from him since, nor any of his fellow commissars or guard captains.

"Good. Then we will hopefully have aid soon. For now we need to push them back from the storage buildings before my men run out of bolter ammo."

Not that they can't work with just their chainswords, but long range options remain vital considering the hostile terrain you're all working with.

You hear the sound of heavy footsteps approaching.

Alexis Polux, a veritable giant of a man, is nearly unable to get through even a doorway meant for fellow Astartes; Though not of his size. His armor is packed with snow at the seams, pauldrons slick with snow melted into a sheet of ice. His thin, blonde hair is quickly becoming wet at the tips, from where snowflakes are melting in the slight heat of the room. Anywhere he walks, he leaves chunks of melting sleet right behind. It has to be almost packed a meter high at this point out there, judging where the worst of it ends on his leg armor.

"Welcome back, Captain Polux." You smile in spite of the situation. It's something that Dorn had said he found- in his own words- 'curious' about you.

He holds his helm in his hands, walking closer to you. He brushes past the Commissar with not even the slightest tilt of acknowledgement. Unsurprising. He'd been there when the man had questioned your acting in Dorn's proxy. Polux is a man of a surprisingly amount of humility and softspokenness, but he is rarely forgiving.

"The storm is getting worse."

You hear another bout of wind howl through the brick and stone, as it continues to dump more snow onto the ground. While the Astartes can traverse it without much issue, it's becoming one for the Guardsmen. They've slowed their advance significantly as the snow reaches their knees.

"Even if we do get aid, they're going to be hard pressed to get anything more than small gunship planet-side; Though it goes both ways. We're all stuck out here in this mess." You open your mouth to continue, but Polux cuts you off.

"They are not built for the cold like we are."

You look up to the massive marine who's been serving as your second in command. Perhaps it wasn't an officially given title, but he's taken it well, and you could think of no better man for it. Especially given that the other Astartes respect him- which makes your orders have less of a weight to them, given they still have a degree of unfamiliarity with you. Your hands rest on the rim of the holotable.

"Finished my sentence for me." He hums as an odd sort of apology, the humor of your response going right over his head. When you let out a soft chuff of a laugh a few guardsmen curiously look at you for a moment.

"It was a compliment, Polux." He stares, eyes flicking across your face as he loudly thinks.

He really is a Son of Dorn.

You resist the urge to smile again, and look down at the holotable. It's been quite the week, but what was once another language has now become nothing but second nature. Putting theory to practice has proved quicker and less frightening that you'd thought, a week ago.

Though you still hope Dorn returns to you soon, turning away from the holotable to receive an update from a guardsmen holding a dataslate.

If anyone had ever asked, Rogal Dorn has remained no different than the stalwart nature he's always had. Though his captains and commanders can hear tenseness in his voice. No matter how phenomally well the Primarch can mask it.

It's been there since they'd first gotten the first of multiple emergency vox hails, only a few seconds long with a barely stable connection. But the few words that had gotten through had made it obvious that the planet was being sieged.

One of their bases was being sieged, a spit in the face of the Imperial Fists.

Even worse, Dorn has no idea as to your welfare.

He'd thought you safe there, the safest you could be other than with him or on Inwit, and now you stand on a world being laid waste with no way to contact anyone off world. He wonders deep in a part of his mind if it was an error on his part.

They're less than a day out now, watching the warp tear by. Dorn stands at the ship's bridge- unmovable. He'll see the planet any moment now when they leave Warp travel, and then can he prepare for what all is ahead of him.

He has the utmost faith in his men and you. However that doesn't mean that a small, human part of him doesn't worry at the idea of you being stuck mid-siege in an unknown location.

He taught you well. He taught you well. A mantra in his head no one else can hear. It is up to yourself to survive without him.

The siege isn't visible from orbit when they arrive, given the massive storm blocking large swaths of the land in a white blanket. It will making landing difficult, but the storm is clearing- at least according to the tech priest currently in charge. Not long after orders are given to begin battering the enemy's battleships as they strike back, shields taking a sizable hit. Nothing the Eternal Crusader and it's crew cannot handle.

But it doesn't feel as if the ice storm is clearing with the way the gunships struggle to remain stable, even with the most competent of pilot. Though they still manage to land on solid footing in one piece, the wind whipping their armor like a flog. Sheets of snow blow across snow already heavily packed onto the ground, covering up the large footprints of Astartes that had been here moments before them. The stone of the steps is barely visible through it all.

Dorn strides forward, the snow sticking to his boots as he trudges through it. He can hear bolter fire in the distance, as well as what seems like the highpowered cannon of multiple Baneblades. A small team of five Astartes follow behind him, two on each side and one directly behind. They have their bolters raised, ever vigilant even well in the safely of their own area of control. Wind rips through his cropped hair and howls in his ears, and for a split second, he perhaps regrets not wearing his helm. Even for a man of Inwit, this cold stings; He can hear the ice and snow crunching in the seams of his armor.

Stepping inside the cathedral, the first thing he notes is the myriad of supplies stacked inside in the aisles, safe from the elements. Guardsmen are looking after them, divvying them out amongst themselves, or delivering them to the Astartes in need of them. Of which there are a few- Imperial Fist guards from before the siege began. Most seem in decent condition; Dorn notes a lack of injuries amongst the Guardsmen and Astartes alike, and how there seems to be an established system amongst them.

He keeps walking through the nave, passing Guardsmen and Astartes who all give him a drop of the head when he passes.

"Primarch Dorn!"

An Imperial Fist Lieutenant calls to him, helmet in his hand. He has blood on his lips from where his skin has split, the cold having whipped his skin dry. Going down the few steps of the ambulatory, he gives a curt nod.

"Lady Dorn and Captain Polux are in the east hall. Central command has been established there."

He affirms to the warrior and turns, walking through the transept and down the hall. The one who'd spoken to him seems to have other duties, and stays behind on the ambulatory.

He can hear chatter in the large, arched hall- it increases until he reaches the door it's bleeding from, and he opens it and ducks to come through. It's just too short for him, but the ceiling inside can thankfully handle someone of his height. It's a thought that is always in the back of his mind.

When Dorn enters the room, the first thing his eyes focus on is you; Leaning over a massive holotable with Captain Alexis Polux standing firmly at your side. He stands like an unmoving guardian, a hand on the pommel of his chainsword. He's the closest to you out of anyone in the room- either out of his own will, or the gargantuan Astartes has incidentally created a personal area of clearance around you both with his presence alone.

"Dorn!"

You say, an audible pep in your voice. The Primarch walks closer and examines the scene in front of him. You appear uninjured, apart from your skin being slightly pallid from the cold.

The Primarch notices how everyone operates around you with a level of assiduity and efficiency, having been giving clear cut duties. There is no arguing, no fighting, everyone both in this room and all around the cathedral operate smoothly. You have a perimeter established, and you’ve been careful to push the advance but not stretch yourself too thin.

You've done well. That much is clear. A part of him wonders if you'd be able to clean this all up on your own, had he decided to simply give you the reinforcements and leave.

Dorn watches as you momentarily turn away from him to speak to an approaching commissar, and he finds himself listening to your confident and assured tone of voice. A thought crosses his mind.

You look beautiful.

All of your inquiries, curious questions and shaking confidence in your ability to lead have all mixed together, and while you might have made different choices than him, he cannot deny your effectiveness.

Dorn decides to speak before he distracts himself within his own mind further. A hold of your hand or to take a kiss of yours are things reserved for private, not here. As much as he might wish to.

"You appear to have done well for yourselves."

You look up at him and give a wry smile, while he glances at the holotable in-between you both.

"It could be worse. I have a squad of Astartes stuck behind enemy lines, but we've pushed the enemy back from the supply warehouses."

This planet has large city buildings that the wind rips around through, unlike the shorter ones of Inwit. The Astartes are fine in their sealed suits and higher body temperature, but the Guardsmen are all struggling. You more than likely are as well, despite holding strong. He can see the chill on your skin, the cracked skin of your lips.

Dorn's reinforcements will provide valuable support to yours, and with their might together, this planet with be rid of the siege.

You turn to order that the men currently in the battlefield get notice that Primarch Dorn has arrived, and that reinforcements are coming. Besides the soon coming tactical advantage, it will provide a well needed boost to moral. With the intense weather, it has surely been lowering. Though your smile and optimistic look in your eyes prove to be a valuable motivator.

No matter how good the orders, often times the way they're said and the person giving them are what matter most.

The Primarch looks to Captain Polux, and gives him a curt nod. The Astartes politely returns a dip of his head in thanks to the silent compliment of his duty. Dorn then looks back to you.

"You and any men injured will return to the Eternal Crusader." You let out a laugh and shake your head. He can hear the rattle of the bolter on your hip.

"Well now that I've started this, I'm kind of keen on seeing it finished before I leave."

Dorn's eyebrows raise ever so slightly, amused by you. He taught you well, he repeats again. Your command over a such a less than optimal situation has proven as such.

The Lady of the Imperial Fists has proven herself not only to be smart, beautiful, and full of humility, but to be stalwart and confident as well.

"Very well."

He'll stay at your side, and judging by his solid stance, Polux will as well.

Dorn very rarely has doubts, but your confidence and ability to adapt have solidified his thoughts that he had made the right choice in you. His 'sons' taking well to your command makes it far easier.

They will have to when you officially become his wife, after all. You have already accepted the title of Lady Dorn, he has no reason to not seal your bond. There hasn't been much else in his life he has been more sure of.

Ignoring any of his more personal desires in the back of his mind, Primarch Rogal Dorn abides by your request, eyes focused more on your lips as you smile at him.

[lorifragolina]

The Pool Party

Here you are my first post for the @harringrovesummerbingo. I already have all the prompts ready but I have to edit it XD. I wanted to do positive silly fics as in this case, so please enjoy! I also participate with it to the Week 11 of @astrangersummer prompt "fireworks"

Title: The Pool Party

Square & Prompt: B1 "Sex with windows opened"

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1139

Major Tags: Harringrove, Pool Party, PWP, Established relationship

Summary: Steve and Billy sneak out to "see the fireworks" all alone on 4th July.

Read in AO3

Harrington’s 4th of July party was, traditionally, the party that officially started the holiday season for the wealthy preppy people living in Loch Nora’s villas in Hawkins.  Since Steve was little, he remembered the big barbecue at the pool’s side, first planned by his parents and then by him, from his freshman year. 

His school friends were eating pizza and ribs, fishing beer and sodas from the baby pool full of ice, swimming in the heated pool and socializing at the poolside. 

Billy Hargrove was thrown in a beach chair with his sunglasses on, a beer in his hand and that obscene speedo that left really nothing to the imagination, although he was wearing a short sleeved Hawaiian shirt, certainly for modesty. 

Steve was chewing a popsicle stick and staring. He shaded his eyes from the sunset light and shook his head. 

Hargrove followed him with his hidden eyes all the way around the pool until he reached him. 

“This bathsuit is obscene,” he bent behind him, whispering in his ear.

Billy smirked. “Whisper to me like this once again and you will see what is really obscene”, he purred, and Steve brushed his ear with his lips again. 

“You’re disgusting,” he said, affectionately, going away. Billy smiled. 

He looked around to distract a little and he regretted not having his lifeguard whistle. Max’s flock of nerds were playing too cheerfully in the pool, and he was having a bad time because he couldn’t ruin it for them. 

He stood up and nonchalantly went to sit at poolside just in the corner where they were playing, and he enjoyed Max protests, but she deserved it, he was here officially as her chaperon, as he highlighted several times earlier, even when he was braiding her and Jane’s hair in a complicate crown braid that he decorated with starfishes and seahorses hair clips he bought especially for them.

He flattened the empty beer can with noise and Steve ate the bait instantly, also because he wasn't able to take his eyes off of him. He sat at his side with two new cans, and tickled him discreetly on his back while he cracked his one.

Billy bit his lips and shivered, trying not to, letting go a muffled moan. 

“Stop it,” Billy turned his face trying not to be noticed by the party.

“Why?” Grinned Steve, finding the point that made Billy crazy

“There are kids,” whined Billy, trying to discreetly cover his crotch. 

“Let’s go inside then,” Steve stood and walked through the garden without looking back at him, and Billy immediately followed him, chasing him without any discretion. 

He left his sunglasses on the kitchen marble counter before grabbing Steve’s waist and pushing him against it.

“You’re a bitch,” he protested, grinding his half hard dick in the speedo with Steve’s groin.

“No, you’re a slut, don’t blame me,” laughed Steve, jumping on his lips. “Come on,” he grabbed his hand and pulled him upstairs, pushing him in the bed when they reached his room. 

Billy pushed Steve’s head between his legs. Steve was a natural in giving head and he liked to take advantage on it, also because Steve was a pro in fucking him too, and he was always well rewarded with Billy’s perfect, tight ass. 

“Shit, it was good…” moaned Billy, stretching to the ashtray for his after cig. 

“Fuck, it’s so hot inside here”, snorted Steve, going to open the window a little. He looked down to the pool where his friends were playing without noticing him on the second floor.

Billy lit the joint they left there the last time and went at his side, brushing his buttcheeks with his open hand. “Yes…” he whispered, blowing the smoke out of the window. “So hot…”

He bent to kiss him. Steve flinched a little from the window, and Billy took a look down, smirking. He opened the French window completely and leaned to the balcony, smoking absent-mindedly.

“My turn,” begged Steve, and Billy shrugged and kept smoking. He stuck his ass out imperceptibly, and Steve licked his lips and grinned, pressing his chest against Billy’s back. 

“Oh, so is it??” He pouted, rocking his hardon against him. He slipped his fingers inside one of the sides of the bathsuits, reaching for Billy’s crack. Billy shivered.

“Oh, so this is what you wanted, mmm?”

He pulled down the slip just the needed and pushed a finger inside Billy. 

Billy squirmed again and took an intense drag, hard again, looi¡king down in the pool.

The fingers became two, then three. Then he felt Steve pulling down his own bath suit and opening the cap of the lube with a pop. Again, Billy bent over  and shivered.

“You’re a fucking slut, you know it, don’t you,” Steve was hissing in his ear, sucking his neck, leaving a hickey. 

“Fuck you, Harrington,” whined Billy, then moaned when Steve pushed him against the rail with his crotch, wrecking him with only the tip of his massive dick. 

He felt his own cock compressed in the Speedo, but he couldn’t think clearly; his eyes were oddly caught by a ball bouncing in the pool while Steve thrusted inside him. 

“Shit, Steve, fuck, give me more…”

Steve lowered his eyes and looked to the pool again too, thinking that anyone could raise his eyes to his window and see him railing Billy from behind on the balcony of his own room. 

Billy opened his legs more and answered to his pushes, blowing the smoke along with his moans. He felt the strong hands of Steve grabbing his hips and marking him, his big dick rearranging his guts and the slaps of their sweated bodies like flows of hot lava. 

“You’re a fucking…” started Billy, but Steve pinched him.

Steve stabbed his nails in his stomach’s flesh, rocking his hips faster, near the edge. 

Billy gasped and moaned and dropped the joint butt below.

“Shut up!” Steve nearly pushed him out of the balcony, and someone raised his head from when a cig butt fell on his head.

In that moment the sky exploded in a rumble and millions of lights; their friends and all the neighbors started to shoot the fireworks and everybody stared at the show, while Billy felt finally free to scream and moan and Steve came inside him with a growl and a cry. 

He looked at the firework, still inside Billy, trying to catch his breath and grabbing Billy’s hand on the rail. 

“I could never watch fireworks like before,” whispered Billy, pushing his back against Steve’s chest. 

Steve hugged him sweetly from behind.

“I’ll fuck you in all and every firework show I could find”.

“A “I love you” would be enough”.

“I love you fucking ass, baby”.

Billy grinned.

“And I love you too, Billy”.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Pffft Baije's reaction

This whole time, he's had the image of some Savage monster, a party animal who causes problems on purpose, and it turns out Wukong was just a huge nerd! He'd thought that even if he had to go on their stupid journey with a savage monster, at least Wukong knows how to party! Baije wants his money back.

Tripitaka, meanwhile, is both confused and kind of fascinated. He hadn't known much about his most troubled student, not even why he had chosen to return after he initially escaped (turned out it was to briefly visit home and make sure Luzhen was OK, and then let him know that he was going on the journey. Wukong made a promise and he keeps his promises) so he can't help but be curious about Wukong's previously unknown siblings.

The only one to suspect it was Ao Lie, actually. Not because of his fancy nose or anything... he's just got a bunch of siblings himself, so he knows how to recognize the signs. That and it had been Luzhen and Wukong both who actually went to get Ringu Jingu Bang. Luzhen had been the one to break all the weapons, claiming they aren't suitable for his brother and then demand a proper kingly outfit for him that isnt just leaves, while Wukong had been with Ao Guang's wife and been the one Ringu Jingu Bang had called for. The reports had just gotten mixed up and made it seem like there was only one monkey. Ao Guang villager goes on record after the misunderstanding is cleared up, to say that while he doesn't really like either, he much prefers dealing with the elder twin. That younger sibling is just too wolds for his tastes. Wukong is also the one to want to go to Sinodhi's school, the but nerd.

I love the idea that the immortality pill incident was just an accident, and Wukong had thought they were painkillers. The show made it seem like they were only three to begin with, and I would be lying. I'd j never take three pills when I had the worst of my migraines, so it's reasonable to think Wukong may have done so on accident. Lao Tzu honestly has no leg to stand on when it comes to being angry since he never labeled them, left then out in the open, and hadn't bothered to let anyone know he wasn't going to be in. Wukong had taken one look around, saw Lao Tzu wasn't in, and thought that he could use his own alchemy training to properly dose himself without realizing the pills he took were NOT ibuprofen after he immediately noticed the facts.

Prev.

+from @booksfromthestars

Bajie is disbelieving and disappointed all at once. He thought he was going to be travelling with a party-animal, not a lightweight who'd rather read medical books and paint!

Tripitaka is an only child, so he doesn't really understand the habits one forms when you grow up with another person occupying your personal space. Things he considers selfish on the surface turn out to just to be a habit from living where your sibling is liable to steal the peach you were just eating. He is pleasantly surprised by Wukong keeping his promise and returning to resume the Journey after checking in on his little brother - Triptaka had assumed he was lying, and was too slow to warn Wukong not to put his hat back on. Wukong is *furious* when he feels something magical tighten around his skull. Tripitaka is still super guilty about that one.

Guanyin doesn't regret the circlet one bit - it's mostly an insurance for Luzhen rather than Wukong to behave himself.

Ao Lie is the younger of three brothers + a sister, so he can identify a fellow sibling from a mile away. The way Wukong protects his favourite foods when sitting with others, but also goes out of his way to pick up at least one piece of the others' faves while he's foraging. That's a sibling habit built upon mutual sharing and theft of each other's food (source; sibling). He also notices how Wukong acts around children they encounter, and it reminds him so much of his big brothers.

I love the imagery of Ao Guang's palace being broken into by two whole little monkeys. XD Well technically Luzhen broke in, Wukong politely asked at the door if the Dragon King or Queen could spare a weapon so that they could defend their people. Wukong's calmer/more respectful attitude endears him to Ao Guang and the Queen, though Luzhen still does bully the other dragons into giving his big bro full battle armour. The dragons accommodate these demands from a mix of fear (Wukong is a strong little monkey and his brother is unhinged) and amusement - they're all brothers too, and think it's sweet that Luzhen only wants the Best for his big bro. Guang wouldn't invite Luzhen into his house again though XD

Wukong is the brother who went to college while Luzhen stayed home. XD

Wukong took two pills thinking that they were painkillers, only to realise when he sobered up Immediately what they truly were. The third pill he pocketed and gave to Luzhen since whatever was about to happen, he didn't want his brother to not have a layer of immortality to him. Lao Tzu was still pissed, but to be fair he canonically doesn't label his stuff good (both in Jttw and LMK), and the "Makes You Immortal/Invulnerable Pills" look an *awful* lot like his patented Hangover cure so popular with the celestial soldiers.

Wukong took the full blame for the Havoc, no matter how much Luzhen tried to plead that it was mostly his doing - but the celestial host had assumed that Luzhen had been the one trying to cover for his older brother/was just a clever clone.

Luzhen screamed as his brother was dragged to the Furnace and the flames from the crucible fell upon their Island. He didn't have time to try and save him or the rest of the Brotherhood while their kingdom was burning to ashes - he had to protect their people.

Macaque never blamed Luzhen for his choice, the younger monkey was suffering enough knowing that his older brother was hurting. But Luzhen certainly roared in Macaque's face when him and Wukong had their fight under the Mountain. Depending on how things go, Macaque might take Luzhen's words to heart and return to Wukong's arms to apologize. Whether or not Wukong will be as forgiving is to be seen.

[theheromira]

Nimona appreciation post (Part 3 of idk even know how many)

Hi guys, I'm back with Part 3. Sorry about the delay, I tend to procrastinate even if something has to do with my newest hyperfixation lol (Pic for attention, like always lol)

at the beginning he says to Amb that he's not brooding and now he tells Nimona that "Knights don't mope, they brood."

"Murder him, murdder her, murder everyone!" aaand there is Amb standing int the door and Bals pose XD

Amb lil smile when he sees Bal. He probably thought that he killed Bal and seems glas that he's not

Also him just looking at Bals arm

Nimonas lil "Gesundheit" is way better in the english version ngl

Nemesis 😈

"Oh, look! It's Gloreth!" and the knights behind them actually look in the direction she pointed at

Amb acting like he was about to draw his sword and looking like they just caught him doing something forbidden like I don't even know

Bals almost defeated face at the beginning of the closet scene

Nimona just casually ripping that pipe out of the wall

Bals hamster cheeks when she grabs his face

that die-in-the-closet-dialogue felt very strange to me but I still don't completely understand how people can hate people who have a different orientation than them (sexual or not, I don't know how to say that exactly but I hope you kinda understand me?). There shouldn't be a problem about dying in a closet in real life and I really understand why people are so close-minded and this is still happening, I guess. Why does this "kids movie" motivate me to think about this kind of issue so much? But I guess it's a good thing, I'm probably/definitely not the only one who watched Nimona and really started to think about this (and the other themes of this movie)

also Nimona literally coming out of the closet (as a shape-shifter) is like really nice, I love little things like that in movies that you maybe not even register at first

I like to think that the axe opening the door is a little "Shining" reference

Nimona casually catching the arrow before her face

Bal being the competent idiot that he is grabbing the first thing his hand finds to use as a weapon without even looking

"Even if you see the horn?"

"I will not freak… Uhhh" with that face XD

I just looove her line "This is the part where you run.", how she looks at the knights and how they start to panic

Bals face while getting out of the closet is like: What the everloving hell did just happen/is just happening?

"Yeah" "Oh no! Stay away! Get back! No! This is not happening!" XD

Amb just being bamboozled and proving that he's at least a bit of a Nerd (who other then a Nerd or a Zoologist would call a Rhino by it's full name)

"Leave that guy alone!" "Take that" bonks him away with her horn lol, they are such a good duo

Stairs are either your best friend (Nimona seemingly) or your worst enemy (Kungfu Panda)

Bal just being completely like a fish out of water by what is happening during that chase is also kinda hilarious

Also him still having the brain to tell her she needs to go right in all of this mayhem is very competent of him, I stan him just a bit ngl

the whale

hey def needed a meeting table that round, they are a kingdom of knights

loving that Todd gets the tiny d*** joke, one of the best jokes in the movie and this movie has a lot of good ones

THE MUSIC <3

Now he wants the staircase, Bal really should make up his mind XD

I'm a bit sad that the original BlueSky-Scene where she changes into a dragon didn't make it in there but this is also fine, I guess

How did Bal survive that fall?

also loving how he just slides the last few metres face down lol

Nimona looking at Bal before she says her "Something, something, something, we win." was kinda cute

Explosions! "Metal" Also: stuff like this reminds me of a kind of old scetch from a comedian (I know the guy from some youtube vids of different poetry slams but he is a comedian now) I like pertaining bear catapults (I def will get myself some tickets if he ever does a show near me, the guy is hilarious)

Bal looking kinda chill (he prob has a concussion and isn't quite there, I guess) at the different things that fly towards them and then focusing on that little bit of debris that knocks him out (and the sound he makes when he gets hit) lol

Sooo, that was it for part 3. Short I know, but I think I will try to get these posts out and ngl my attention span is a bit short at the moment… with this kind of post thats more on the short site I believe I can stay on the topic and not procrastinate that much. Maybe there will also be some longer ones inbetween, we will see. Have a good one guys ^^

[egotisticaleverything]

High school Party

Bo Burnham x reader

A/N: this has been rotting in my draft for centuries so not requested just needed to finish this and cure my writers block for good !!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, Bo being unreasonably mean, reader is a down bad loser, almost fucking to prove a point

“Hey-Uh Bo?” I tap the tall boys shoulder, trying to get his attention in the crowded living room we’re standing in, “I wanted to ask if I could have your number- so we could like hand out some time?”

“What?” He says after turning around

“I said could I have your number-“

“I heard you fuck face I’m just not falling for the same song and dance again” he scoffs, taking a sip from his cup.

“What do you mean-“ I sputter out

“I know Chrissy sent you over here to fuck with me alright?” He shrugs “hey hot popular conventionally attractive friend of mine, go over and ask out the weird skinny kid.” He mocks her in a high pitched voice.

“What- no I just want your number asshole the fuck?” I scowl at him stepping back, phone in my left hand, beer in my right.

“Fine whatever. I’ll put my number in your phone. Just shut up.” He grabs my phone.

“Thanks, geez for an apparent ‘nerd’ you sure are a dickhead” I roll my eyes, looking down at my beer.

“Here.” He almost chucks the phone back at me “you win your little dare, pass go to collect 200” he walks away unphased.

“Bo- wait” I grab his arm “could we like maybe hang out some time..?” I manage to crack a slight smile as if my heart isn’t racing

“God you’re a good actress” he turns his head towards me “fine. Lunch. Tomorrow. Text me your address.” He pulls his arm away.

I look down at my phone to see the contact name he’s given himself “Truth or dare”, thought he’d be more original.

Me: I’m not Jk wit u I actly like u dmbas :/

TorD: ok def selling it 2 hard

Me: fuk u

TorD: shut up ur drnk

Me: I wish I wernt so cute cuz if u wernt id kill u

TorD: get sober then u can smd :P jkkkk

Me: u still at da party

TorD: obvi dmbas

Me: meet u upstairs in 10

TorD: no u wont

Me: yes I will

TorD: fine im redy for ur prank or wtver

Me: u still think im jk lol XD

________________________________

———————————

I walk into the room to see Bo sat on the bed “Surprised to see me here?” He jokes “I made sure to scope out the whole room for whatever you’re planning.”

“I’m not planning anything- what is wrong with you?” I am starting to get annoyed at this point,

“Yeah sure whatever-“ I cut him off by pulling him into a kiss, grabbing the collar of his shirt as I straddle his hips on the bed. I slowly bring my left hand up behind his head, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss as he groans. “You’re a good fucken actor.”

“I-… am not-… acting-…” I say between kisses as I lower Bo onto the bed, “you fucking brat.” I heave,

“God you’re something alright…” Bo attempts to catch his breath

“You’re lucky I take birth control” I say as I start undoing my jeans,

“Holy fuck you’re serious about this…” he looks up red faced

“You’re finally catching on, great work.” I scoff “Now what do you want me to do to you?” I giggle, trailing a hand down his chest.

“I-uhm wow” his cocky demeanour has completely disappeared, replaced with a flustered mess of a man who’s almost melting below me.

“What do you want me to do to you?” I ask him firmer this time as I throw my shirt across the room.

“I-oh wow uhm I-I’ve never gotten this far” he stutters and stumbles as i straddle him in nothing but my underwear and bra,

“I can tell.” I cross my arms “now use your big boy words and tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“I mean I really do-I’m not sure I-“

“Just say it”

“What”

“The first thing that comes to your mind”

“I-uh- fuck- I’m sorry” he facepalms, the crimson of his face barley peaking out.

“What-Bo?” I pull his hands away from his face, genuinely concerned.

“Why are you of all people into me?” He looks away,

“I-what do you mean?” I ask genuinely confused, what does he mean ‘me of all people’.

“You’re friends with Chrissy and Grace and all those other really pretty girls-“ he starts rambling “fuck you’re gorgeous, I-I mean that’s the reason I was so defensive…” his eyes drifted towards me, as he obviously tried to not look at my body.

“Bo… why do you think I stare at you every day in chemistry-?” I ask now just as red faced as the man below me “why do you think I spend so much time around the drama club when crew aren’t even needed-“

“What-?”

“Ever since freshman year- Bo I’ve been in love with yo-“ I’m suddenly cut off by a kiss, as he sits up, one of Bo’s hands finds its place on the back of my neck, the other places itself on my lower back.

“I’m- I don’t think I want to rush into this…” he sighs “I think you’re really pretty and fun to be around but I don’t want to take things too fast-“

“Thank god-sorry but I like you too much to just fuck you and prove a point.” I laugh sitting up “so… are you free next Friday after drama club?”

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x28 - Pursuit! Hurry to Japan / It's All in the Cards

Previously on Digimon Adventure:

Big Fucking Nerd Vamdemon and the good half of his mercenaries are now off in Japan, closing the door behind them on their way out. The Chosen Children are forced to retreat from his castle and regroup with Gennai.

Gennai: I see. That's too bad. Yamato: "That's too bad" isn't going to cut it! At this rate, the Eighth Child is going to die! Sora: That's not all! If those Digimon run loose, they'll wreak havoc on Japan! Taichi: Is there a way we can reopen the Gate? Gennai: That's possible. Taichi: There is? Sora: How? Gennai: I can't simply explain it. You'll also need some tools to assist you. Taichi: Well, stop wasting time! Gennai: I understand. Come to my house.

Gennai points up, then vanishes from the rainbow beam. His meaning is lost on the kids, forcing him to come back and clarify his too-subtle gesture.

Mimi: He disappeared right when we needed answers? Gennai: (reappears) Look around you!

Off in the distance, he's waving a big-ass spotlight to get their attention.

Gennai: If you follow that light, you'll find my home. Taichi: Got it! Gennai: I'll be waiting. Taichi: Yes! Let's go!

Gennai trying to be stylish but forgetting that he's talking to children, who need a bit more instruction than that.

An interesting note about the way the kids are positioned in this scene. The episode recap ended with a brief snippet of new footage, showing the kids fleeing the castle while attacked by silhouetted Digimon. They also had to fight their way out; We see the outside of the castle and hear Tentomon firing Petit Thunder, followed by an explosion bursting out of the building.

This is why Mimi's doubled over up there; They just made it back here. She's gasping for breath from all the running they had to do. When he's in frame, we can see Yamato is piggybacking Takeru as well.

The dub, as usual, cuts the recap. This scene of them escaping got cut along with it, so the dub starts right here at Gennai with no explanation of why Mimi's exhausted and Yamato's carrying Takeru.

Gennai: Myotismon has shut the Gate. You can't follow him now. Matt: Listen, Pops! You gotta help us get through that Gate! The Eighth Kid is doomed if we don't! Sora: And that isn't all! If that rotten creep goes on a rampage in the real world, lots of innocent people will get hurt! Tai: There just has to be some way we can open the Gate up again! Gennai: Well, of course there is. Tai: No kidding? Sora: How, then? Gennai: Any door can be opened with the right key. Tai: Oh, don't be so mysterious, Gennai! Gennai: Follow me to my house and I will explain everything. Sora: Where's that? Gennai: Look above you! (points up and fades away) Mimi: What kind of directions are those!? Gennai: (returns) Very good ones if you will just listen.

Matt borrowing a bit of Taichi's aggressive disrespect for Gennai.

Gennai outright tells them to look up before pointing and vanishing, which makes them all look even stupider when he needs to come back and clarify.

Note: In both versions, the spotlight is making an audible shimmer sound. But in the dub it's also roaring with the fury of a thousand angry batteries. There's wooshing wind noises and what almost sounds like rockets exploding overhead.

Gennai: Keep looking and you shall see it. Matt: There! A searchlight! Gennai: Sorry, I ran out of maps. Follow the light and you can't miss it. Tai: Excellent! Gennai: Snack time for me! (disappears) Tai: Let's jet!

I was not ready for "Snack time for me!" XD

The kids follow Gennai's signal and find it coming straight out of a giant lake.

Mimi: Wait... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?!? Yamato: Is his house underwater? Koushiro: I get it. This is why I couldn't find him during those two months I searched the mountains. Jou: So then how do we get there? Gomamon: (pops into the water) I'll go take a look.

Suddenly, the water ripples and bubbles emerge all around.

Gomamon: It's not me! Ehehe....

The light parts the waters of the lake, granting the kids passage down a flight of stairs.

They don't say whether this is the same lake everyone's been crossing on Yamato's swan boat. But I choose to believe it is because it's funnier that way.

In the dub:

Joe: Looks like we're gonna be doing a little swimming. Mimi: MY HAT!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAT!!! Matt: Either we got those directions really wrong or Gennai's house is in the middle of a lake! Izzy: So that's why I've never found it! Joe: Must be really tough to get pizza delivered. Gomamon: (pops into the water) Hey, c'mon in! The water's fine! (The lake begins to glow and bubbles emerge all around Gomamon) Gomamon: Oh no!

Fart joke's out. Mimi is freaking out about the threat of getting her hat wet instead of the inexplicable oddity of the scene. Izzy expresses the same sentiment as Koushiro, though Koushiro reminds us that he was doing precisely this during the group's split-up time. And Joe drops a pretty solid quip. XD

The waters part and the stairs emerge.

Group: NO WAY!!! Patamon: Do we use these to go down? Yamato: Looks like. Taichi: Alright, let's head down.

The kids descend past a still stunned Gomamon.

Gomamon: Huh? WAIT FOR ME, EVERYONE!!!

They head deeper down perilous stairs whose perils are unsurprising if you really stop and think about it.

Takeru: It's slippery! Patamon: Be careful!

Okay, yeah, these stairs were underwater five seconds ago. Forcing his visitors to descend a freshly-mopped stairwell is a pretty major hazard, honestly. They could break their necks! I'm filing a complaint with OSHA. Uh, as soon as I finish filing the child labor complaint.

Gennai sucks, y'all.

In the dub:

Group: (Miscellaneous cheering) Tai: Steps!? Alright, gang! We're in business!

The dub puts a commercial break here, which I think is a pretty okay place for one. They're able to then use Patamon and Matt's lines to briefly remind us of where we're at upon return.

Patamon: There are stairs going right down into the lake! Matt: They must lead to Gennai's house! Tai: Well? What are we waiting for? Joe: I was kinda hoping he'd send a boat to pick us up. (The kids descend past Gomamon) Gomamon: Hmm... HEY!!! WAIT FOR ME!!! (The kids go deeper) Mimi: If anyone wants any sushi, now's your chance! T.K.: I wish I had my boots! Patamon: Me too!

Another XD for Joe. A boat would be way better than freshly-mopped stairs. I'm with him.

Mimi also gets to make a silence-breaking quip commenting on the art. She's talking about the fish we see swimming around in the foreground while the kids are descending.

I don't think T.K. and Patamon's exchange lands very well. To get what he's complaining about, you need to already understand from context that the stairs are slick and dangerous. But when magical lake-parting is involved, I don't know that this is an assumption anyone would leap to. I certainly didn't until Takeru spelled it out for me.

Finally, the kids see Gennai's estate.

Patamon: Look at that! Sora: Is that it? Jou: I think so.

They invite themselves in.

Everyone But Taichi: PLEASE EXCUSE US!!! Taichi: WE'RE COMING IN!!! (The kids come inside) Piyomon: THIS PLACE IS KIND OF COOL!!! Sora: It really is....

In the dub, the kids continue riffing on the art.

Patamon: Whoa! Sora: Quite a place if you don't mind living in pink fog. Joe: No lawn to mow. Tai: I don't see a doorbell. Everyone: (shouts unintelligibly) (The kids enter the yard) Gennai: WHO NEEDS A DOORBELL WITH SUCH NOISY VISITORS!?!?

I like Joe's quip here in theory; He's talking about the area outside the estate, which is the lake. But it's a little janky that we cut from that to everyone standing on Gennai's lawn.

At long last, the kids see Gennai in person waiting for them.

Koushiro: Gennai...-san? Gennai: I see you children made it here safely. Taichi: (uncertain) Is that really him? Koushiro: Yes.

Taichi first takes a moment to confirm with Koushiro that this is really, truly the man in the flesh. Then, once he's secure in that knowledge, he lets his anger out.

Taichi: HEY, GEEZER!!! I'VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU!!! Gennai: What's that? Taichi: Why haven't you ever come to meet us in person all this time!? Gennai: Because I'm a couch potato.

The word Gennai uses here is debushou, which means a shut-in who's too lazy to get up and go outside. The subs here translate it as "I like staying at home" which is accurate but doesn't quite get across the self-deprecation at play. I've also seen debushou translated as "a houseplant" which is hilarious but requires some explanation.

Honestly, Taichi is right to be upset about this. Back on File Island, it was a plot point that Gennai was supposed to be there to meet them Day 1 but Devimon blocked his signal. They spent two weeks alone in savage wilderness being hunted for sport by monsters they couldn't understand because Gennai was too lazy to come explain the isekai in person.

I'd be furious too.

Everyone else has questions too.

Jou: Just who are you, anyway? Takeru: A human? Or a Digimon? Gennai: Neither of those. Mimi: What does being a Chosen Child even mean? Gennai: It means that you're children who were chosen to save both of our worlds. Yamato: But who chose us? Sora: Was it you, Gennai-san? Gennai: (shakes head) Mm... Enough questions. What you should be thinking about right now is saving the Eighth Child. Now, come inside.

Once the conversation turns to the specifics of who drafted these kids for war and why, Gennai gets evasive yet again.

There's long been a friction between Gennai and the Chosen Children, especially Taichi. He omits information he doesn't want them to have and routinely talks around answering questions, managing the kids on a need-to-know basis. This in-person meeting is doing nothing to quell it.

This friction is also there in the dub.

Izzy: Wow, it's the real Gennai! Gennai: Who did you expect, Santa Clause? Tai: (uncertain) We've just never seen the real you. Izzy: Yeah! Tai: (angry) So tell us! How come you're always hiding!? Gennai: I'm not. Tai: Well, you could have come in person but you always choose projections, right? Gennai: It's just a show to impress you. Joe: What kind of a person are you, anyway? T.K.: A human? Or some kind of Digimon? Gennai: That is not important. Mimi: (directly into Gennai's ear) HOW COME YOU CALL US THE DIGIDESTINED!?!? Gennai: EASY!!! I'm old, but I'm not deaf! You were chosen to save this world and you're own! Matt: But just how were we chosen? Why us? Sora: Yeah, we only signed up for summer camp. Gennai: (shakes head) That is all you need to know for now. Come inside. The most important thing is to return to your world and find the Eighth Child. That and maybe have a nice bowl of soup and a tuna sandwich.

It's a little different, but the main difference is in tone of voice. The kids are softer and less combative with Gennai in the English version. The Japanese versions, especially Taichi, sound exasperated by the lack of clear information they've been given.

The children follow Gennai inside.

As they enter the house, the parting of the lake waters ends and the house's exterior floods. The kids watch fish swim by the doors outside.

Takeru & Patamon: PRETTY!!! Jou: Porgies and flounder? But this is a freshwater lake. Gennai: Those are machines I made. It gets lonely, living by yourself.

Gennai pulls down a world map of the human world. He zooms the map with a flick of his fan.

Gennai: Take a look at this. (flick) Koushiro: Japan. Gennai: (flick) Mimi: Is that Tokyo? Gennai: (flick; A red circle appears on the zoomed in point) Taichi: That's the Nerima district! Gennai: Mm. This is where Vamdemon currently is.

Taichi and Yamato both suddenly gasp and jump, startled by recognition.

Taichi: (looking at Yamato) What's wrong? Yamato: No, it's nothing serious. You? Taichi: Same here. I was just noticing that he's in Hikarigaoka.... All of the Kids: Hikarigaoka!?

Hikarigaoka is kind of a big deal, which is why Taichi's so startled by it. He doesn't remember the events of the OVA well, so he can't put it into words. But Hikarigaoka is the place where Hikari's Agumon evolved into Greymon and fought a deadly battle against an invading Parrotmon; A battle that killed them both.

The other kids recognize it because they were there too. The OVA showed brief snippets of Jou, Mimi, Yamato, Takeru, Sora, and Koushiro watching the fight between Greymon and Parrotmon unfold. Yamato and Takeru were still living together at the time.

They don't know it yet but they're all connected by this dream-like monster brawl that took place one day in Hikarigaoka.

This is another point from the OVA that the dub's going to have to talk around.

Mimi: Look at the fish! Joe: But those are halibut. They're saltwater fish. Gennai: You are right. So I have to feed them popcorn, salted pretzels, and tons of salted nuts. Joe: ...do you think he's pulling our legs? Tai: I have no idea!

Not a huge change but the mystery of Gennai's regionally-inappropriate fish goes unanswered for the sake of a joke where he just lists things that have salt on them. Which, granted, does add to the crypticness of this obnoxiously vague man, so the new bit still works pretty well.

Gennai: (brings down the map) Now a look at the weather. (flick) State. (flick) County. (flick) City. Does anyone recognize this area? Tai: Our hometown? Gennai: Mmhmm. And the red flashing circle indicates Myotismon's location. Tai & Matt: (gasp and jump) Tai: Myotismon! Matt: Wow, he's only a mile from where we all live. Gennai: I'm afraid so. Tai: I'll bet you that he goes downtown.... This is not good!

What's downtown, Tai? Why is downtown so ominous? Hey, Tai. Hey, Tai, what's downtown? What do you think he's going to do downtown?

After all of the Japan namedropping of the previous episode, we are right back to geographically playing coy about the kids' point of origin, and also kind of implying that it's the U.S. with that "state, country, city" bit.

And also the dub team doesn't know about Hikarigaoka so they have no idea why all the kids are freaking out right now, and it shows. Thus we have the mysterious and ominous downtown.

Matt, incidentally, is bad at reading Gennai Maps. Hikarigaoka is about 18 miles away from "where we all live", which is Odaiba.

A brief cut to Hikarigaoka shows us Vamdemon and his forces lurking on a rooftop while electronics around the area go haywire. Phones are ringing off the hook. Technicians are at work on the issue but can't seem to find any cause.

In the dub, the city's quiet. There's no sign of any sort of technological malfunctions. But the technicians complain that something's causing "interference".

Then we return to Gennai for further instruction.

Taichi: Come on! Tell us how to open the Gate! Gennai: Let's not be hasty. You'll need to use these.

Rifling through his cabinets, Gennai finds a set of cards and lays them out in front of the Chosen Children. There are ten cards in all.

Kuwagamon

Agumon

Gazimon

Andromon

Elecmon

Unimon

Digitamamon

Drimogemon

TonosamaGekomon

Gomamon

Gomamon: Ha! There's one of me! Koromon: And Agumon! Mimi: What are these? Gennai: Cards. Taichi: We know that! Gennai: Do you remember seeing nine holes in the slate in front of the Gate? Koushiro: Um... Yes! There was. Gennai: You must place these cards into those holes. Koushiro: But you gave us one card too many. Gennai: There's an extra card mixed in. I'm not sure which. Taichi: Which hole do we put each card in? Gennai: Well... I don't know.

Unhelpful as always, Gennai! Thanks!

Sharp-eyed viewers may already be able to tell how these cards should be arranged on a 3x3 grid, and which two cards are redundant to each other.

In the dub:

Tai: Please tell us how to open the Gate back to our world! Gennai: You certainly are impatient. Keep your goggles on, my young friend! (Gennai lays out the cards) Gennai: You'll need these. Matt: Check 'em out! Tai: Whoa, Digimon keycards! Tentomon: It's the spitting image! Joe Alright! Look at Gomamon! Gomamon: I'm cuter in person. Koromon: There I am too! Mimi: But what are they for? Tai: Yeah, and how do they help us open the Gate? Gennai: Well, there are nine holes on the stone wall of the Gate. Izzy: Yeah, so... Oh, wait! Do the cards go into the holes? Gennai: That's right. However, take a closer look. It's not quite as simple as that. Do you see the problem? Izzy: You're giving us one too many cards. Gennai: That's right! One of them is a fake.

For once, the dub kids are slower on the uptake than their Japanese counterparts. Gennai has to explain the numerical flaw to them before they notice it's there.

Then Tai has the worst idea, provoking a response that both Gennai and the audience have wanted to do to him many times.

Taichi: Oh well. We'll just put the cards in a random order and go with that!

As he feels the biceps of furious adulthood wrap around his neck, Taichi suddenly regrets finally meeting the old geezer/Jiji in person. This man is responsible for mobilizing child soldiers. He does not give a fuck about the ethics of punitive child abuse.

Gennai: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! Taichi: Hck hck sputter Gennai: If you do that, you'll be cast into some random and unpredictable world! Mimi: Do that many worlds really exist? Gennai: Yes. There's also a risk that you may not be fully reconstituted on the other side. Mimi: What do you mean?

Gennai demonstrates with the example of Mimi and Palmon entering the Gate, only to come in with their data merged into amalgams of each other on the other side.

Mimi: NOT THAT!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

We briefly see Palmon looking up at Mimi with a hurt expression. She seems a little bit offended that Mimi took this so harshly.

Mimi continues melting down and shrieking No's in the background while the others carry on with the meeting.

Gennai: That is why, unlike Vamdemon who used an incantation for this, you will need to solve this with your own abilities. Jou: But there are so many things we don't know. Gennai: Anyway, here are the cards. Relax and enjoy yourselves tonight. The enemy won't attack you here.

Gennai can smell questions coming and changes the subject before they even have a chance to ask.

In the dub, Gennai is so mad at Tai's poor decision-making that he rips two of Mimi's lines out of the script, talking straight through her lip flaps.

Tai: We'll try 'em all until we get the right combination! (Violent, cathartic throttling ensues) Gennai: No, you will not, you silly boy! That's absolutely the last thing you should do! There are many, many other worlds! If you put the cards in the wrong holes, it will be a disaster! You could end up in a different world with no way to return! (ahem) Let me explain. (Mimi and Palmon demonstration) Gennai: The wrong cards might take you to a world where, for example, people and Digimon switch skin! Mimi: NOOOOOO NOT THAT!!! I LIKE MY SKIN!!! (loudly cries through the rest of the scene) Gennai: Don't worry! Don't worry! You're not going to switch your skin with anyone as long as you learn how to use the cards correctly. Joe: But we don't have any idea what to do! Gennai: You must learn to use your power the way Myotismon is using his. Tomorrow, I'll teach you the proper use of the cards.

So, obviously I'm miffed about Mimi having two of her lines cut. For entirely reasonable and objective reasons, I assure you. I will have Gennai's kneecaps.

More seriously, "Use your power the way Myotismon is using his" is an odd way to translate "Myotismon did it with an incantation but you need to use your own abilities instead." I can kinda see how it connects. "Myotismon achieved it by using his power that was unique to him, and now you have to use your power that's unique to you to achieve the same." But it's janky and comes off sounding like he's saying we need to do things the way Myotismon does them.

The more pressing contradiction is that Gennai promises to explain how the cards work in detail to them, which is exactly the opposite of what he's telling them in the original scene. He does not have the answer to the card riddle.

This comes at the cost of telling them they can actually have a nice, relaxing, perfectly safe night. Which, at this point in their adventure, is just such a nice thing to be offered that I'm sad it got cut.

The kids go to bed for the night.

Jou sleeps between Taichi and Sora because I guess he's still upset over that "I want some of Sora's love!" thing. Mimi gets her own private little corner to herself like the princess she is, following that rude, triggering experience Gennai inflicted on her. Yamato and Takeru have pulled their futons close together then thought better of it and decided to sleep in the same futon anyway. And Koushiro is absent.

Koushiro is with Gennai, trying to learn more about the lore of Digimon.

Koushiro: This world is similar to ours, but there's still a lot that's strange about it. Why is that? Gennai: Do you know what this world is comprised of? It's something equivalent to the atoms and molecules of your world. Koushiro: Data, right? Gennai: Correct. Everything in this world is comprised of the data running through computer networks in your world. When you encounter something strange here, it's because of faulty or missing data. Koushiro: I see. On that note, Gennai-san, are you also made of data? Gennai: Nrgh.

Not a word. Gennai didn't have a good evasive response to that one and just grunted reflexively. Koushiro takes that as confirmation.

Koushiro: But you do have a real body somewhere, don't you? Just like we do? Gennai: Nope. Koushiro: Are you something different from a Digimon? Gennai: Yes. It's because I don't have an attribute. Koushiro: An attribute? Gennai: Although this world is created by data, Digimon are further classified by the attributes Data, Virus, and Vaccine. Koushiro: I see.... Gennai: On that note, has the Digimon Analyzer been helpful for you? Koushiro: Yes! But there's something that's been bothering me. Gennai: What's that? Koushiro: This only contains data on the Digimon that I've met. I can't access data on Digimon that the others have seen. Gennai: I understand. Koushiro: Can you do something to fix it? Gennai: Yes. Let me borrow that for a while. Koushiro: Okay. Gennai: I'll have it fixed by morning. You should get some sleep. Koushiro: Okay.

In the dub, Gennai starts off by saying that the Digital World - which I guess we're no longer calling Digi-World - is made of molecules and atoms too.

Izzy: The Digital World is like our world but different. Why is that? Gennai: The same material is used in all worlds! Izzy: Molecules and atoms? Gennai: Exactly! Everything here in the Digital World - plants, trees, buildings, even the Digimon themselves - came from computer data in your world. So if there are strange things here, they are the result of broken or missing data. izzy: What about you, Gennai? Are you just made up of computer data too? Gennai: Of course! So, in each of the worlds, I would appear somewhat different. Izzy: But Gennai, if you're not human, how are you different from Digimon? Gennai: I have no attributes. Izzy: Attributes!? Just what does that mean!? You mean the different attacks Digimon have? Gennai: Yes! And the way a Digimon Digivolves. But attributes determine much more than that. They explain why some Digimon are good and some are evil. All Digimon can be classified as Data, Virus, or Vaccine. Izzy: We're definitely familiar with the Virus kind. Gennai: By the way, have you used that Digimon Analyzer I gave you? Izzy: Yes. But there is something I wanted to ask you about it. Gennai: What's that? Izzy: I'm only able to access information on Digimon that I have seen. Not on the ones that the other kids have seen. Gennai: Hmm... You're right, that is a problem. Izzy: Is it one that you can solve? Gennai: You just leave it to me, my young friend. I should have it all taken care of by morning. But, for now, you had better get some rest. Izzy: 'Kay.

This infodump is more or less the same. Though Gennai claims that being made of data would cause him to take different forms if he went to other worlds. Which doesn't really track or segue well out of the conversation they were having. The Digimon don't seem to have a problem with visiting other worlds without changing shape.

It also replaces the interesting clarifying question of whether he's "made of data" like the Digimon or "made of data" like the kids' digital bodies.

The next day, the kids have a satisfying breakfast. Gennai enters with Koushiro's laptop in hand to show off how he's upgraded it.

Gennai: Are you ready? Kids: YES!!! Gennai: I've added an adaptor to Koushiro's laptop. If you insert a Digivice in here, the information of Digimon that its owner has met will be added to the Analyzer. I've also installed several new programs. Take a look at the manual when you get the chance. Koushiro: Thank you! Gennai: It may be tough for you, Chosen Children, but have faith in your abilities. Jou: (faceplants into the table) The abilities of the Chosen Children, huh? Sora: Hey! Have more faith! Gennai: I'm sorry I cannot be of any further use. Now go, children! I wish you luck. Kids: YES!!!

The dub starts this scene with a silence-breaking quip.

Sora: Wow, Joe. Why not just eat the bones too? Joe: Hey! I was hungry! Gennai: (enters) Good morning, all. Kids: HI!!!

Can I just say that having the kids yell "HI!!!" instead of "HAI!!!" is hilarious for meta reasons?

Gennai: Izzy, I've completed the modifications for your computer. When you insert someone's Digivice into this adaptor, the Analyzer will show information on any Digimon that person has seen. I also installed a new screensaver. You know the one with the colored fishes swimming around? I really like that one. Izzy: Great minds do think alike! Gennai: Now, I have a request for all of you. I don't want you to forget that you are the DigiDestined. Joe: I'll never forget this stomachache. Urrrrgh.... Sora: Joe, this is serious! Gennai: I have done all I can do. I can no longer help you once you return to Myotismon's castle. Good luck!

Fuck do you mean, you've done all you can do? Gennai, weren't you going to show us how to use the cards? What happened to that?

"Hey DigiDestined, don't forget that you're the DigiDestined," is an absolutely terrible way of presenting "Have faith in your abilities as Chosen Children."

The kids return to Vamdemon's castle, now guarded by the two Devidramon that Tailmon left behind. There's kind of an awkward commercial break here in the original. We leave Gennai and see them creep up on the castle for like two seconds, then cut to commercial, then come back on the Devidramon guarding the place. So it disrupts the flow.

Not sure why they didn't just put the commercial break after Gennai wished them luck, then come back to Vamdemon's castle.

Peering through a slightly opened door, they try and figure out how they're going to get in there.

Yamato: What should we do? Taichi: This is bad. Tentomon: (loudly) WANT ME TO DEAL WITH THIS!?!? (Taichi and Koushiro exchange looks, then nod together) Tentomon: HERE I GO!!!

Tentomon is chomping at the bit to go loud and fuck these guys up. The second Taichi and Koushiro give him the okay, he Super-Evolves all the way up to AtlurKabuterimon and bursts in guns blazing.

"HEY GUYS SPECIAL DELIVERY WHO ORDERED THE PAAAAAIN"

Koushiro: Hurry! While they're distracted!

Koushiro shouts as they sprint down the corridor away from the carnage. Which is certainly one way to describe AtlurKabuterimon wasting one Devidramon so fast we don't even see it, then slamming his axe horn straight into the other's neck and firing Horn Buster point-blank.

I would say they are "distracted", to be sure. AtlurKabuterimon is not cackling maniacally while he does this, but I'm gonna imagine he is.

The dub moves the commercial break to where I suggested, splitting up Gennai's "Good luck!" from the kids approaching the castle. It then gives Joe a silence-breaker on their way in.

Joe: Man, this place looks even scarier than it did the first time.

There's a little jankiness to moving it like this, though. The last shot before commercial is Taichi looking up and the first shot coming back is a snarling Devidramon. These shots are not connected to each other; They're separated by commercials. But cutting them together like this makes it look like the Devidramon is looming over Tai.

It was animated with the commercial break being at that spot in mind. So in the end, both versions feel a little off.

As the kids approach the door, Tai and Matt are given no lines, and Izzy speaks in regular speaking voice rather than a hushed whisper.

Izzy: How do we get past the Devidramon? Tentomon: Leave that to me! I'll take 'em out while you go in. (Tai and Izzy exchange looks, then nod together) Tentomon: ...

Tentomon is sadly not roaring "PIXEL DUST FOR THE PIXEL THRONE" in this version. He's still gung-ho about fighting the Devidramon but is not in a hysterical blood frenzy.

AtlurKabuterimon erases the Devidramon so hard that it breaks the coding on the castle.

In a flash of light, all the wonky physics of the place vanish, and the kids are dropped unceremoniously on a flight of stairs.

(They did speculate earlier that Vamdemon's power was sustaining the wonky physics. It's probably no coincidence that the effect ended after a) Vamdemon fucked off to another reality and b) the last of his gargoyle Devidramon guards was destroyed.

But on the other hand, Horn Buster broke Vademon's pocket dimension too. Horn Buster may just be really good at wrecking the custom programming that others have put into their surroundings. AtlurKabuterimon taking an axe not just to your face but your hours and hours of SQL coding.)

Mochimon flops down the stairwell, all of his power spent on gleeful mayhem. Koushiro catches him in his arms.

Koushiro: Mochimon! (catch) Mochimon: (weakly) How did I do? Koushiro: I think you fixed the distortions in the airspace here! Taichi: C'mon! Let's move!

No change in the dub.

Once they've arrived at the Gate, Taichi lays out the cards and tries to figure out the 3x3 patterns.

Taichi tries to classify them as

Good Guys: Gomamon, Unimon, Agumon, Andromon

Bad Guys: Gazimon, Drimogemon, Digitamamon

Disgusting Guys: TanosamaGekomon, Kuwagamon

Despite the fact that this setup puts four cards in one category and two in another, he snubs Elecmon, presumably picking that as the fake card.

Also, this is Drimogemon slander. He forgives Unimon and Andromon for the things they did under Black Gear influence but still calls Drimogemon a villain.

And another thing! I get that we have Kuwagamon trauma but what did he do to get classified as disgusting while the child-labor capitalist is merely bad?

I have a lot of issues with Taichi's breakdown.

Dub Tai describes them as "Good one, bad one, funky one".

Jou takes the next crack at them.

Small: Gomamon, Agumon, Elecmon, Gazimon

Medium: Digitamamon, Unimon, Andromon

Large: Drimogemon, TanosamaGekomon, Kuwagamon

Jou makes no assumptions about which card is the fake.

Joe, however, classifies them as "In-Training, Rookie, and Champion", the dub's terms for the Baby, Child, and Adult stages.

He actually has the right idea, as the stages are one of the two axes on the grid. However, the labels he gives are wildly incorrect for the cards shown. Holy shit, Joe. Gomamon should fucking slap him for calling him an In-Training Digimon.

From there, the others start giving it a shot, but we don't get to see how they separate the cards out.

Yamato: Let me try. How's this? Weak, so-so, and strong. But we still don't know which card is the wrong one. Sora: I bet it's where they live! Like land or sea! Mimi: Maybe it's the number of syllables in their name. Like A-gu-mo-n, that's four.

Everyone in this group has reasonable ideas except Taichi and Sora. The former of whom is letting some weird-ass biases show. And the latter. Like. Sora? Hey. Hey, Sora. Name one of these Digimon who is aquatic. Name one.

This is not going to be solved by the soccer club.

...actually, Koushiro is a member of the soccer club so, ironically, it is. Huh.

In the dub, Matt steals Jou's idea but as a sarcastic suggestion born of frustration.

Matt: Or could it just be small one, medium one, big one... How can we be sure!? And we still don't have a clue which card is the fake one! Sora: Maybe it's where they live. Water or land? Mimi: Maybe the key is in their names! Like, Agumon starts with 'A', that's letter #1, then... oh, no, it really doesn't make any sense.

Sora's idea gets translated straight. Mimi keeps the idea of names and lettering but in a way that's more familiar to an American audience than counting syllables/katakana lettering.

Skipping Takeru because I guess he had zero ideas and is just deferring to the older kids, now it's Koushiro's turn to get his thinky-think on. Koushiro approaches the pedestal that the cards need to fit into, while thinking aloud.

Of note: Koushiro begins talking while Mimi's making her suggestion and trying to arrange the cards in the original, speaking over her. Yet more fucking rudeness from Koushiro to my kid that's gonna get him tossed off a cliff.

Mochimon: What's wrong? Koushiro: Vamdemon broke the seal with magic. Therefore, the pictures on the slate must also relate to magic. Mimi: (finishes sorting) AUGH!!! It still doesn't fit! Koushiro: I've seen these marks from occult pages on the Internet. The lion and archer are from the twelve Zodiac constellations. But the monkey isn't part of it. Also, these stars.... Mochimon: Do you know what they mean? Koushiro: No. But there must be some significance to them.

The dub, on the other hand, lets Mimi finish speaking before she prompts Izzy to share his thoughts.

Mimi: Izzy, what are you looking at? Izzy: Myotismon used a spell to open the Gate and I think this picture must have something to do with it. Some of these characters, I know. Sagittarius and Leo are signs of the Zodiac, but there's nothing about a monkey in any horoscope. And what's the significance of this star pattern?

We lose Koushiro crediting his familiarity with the zodiac to "occult pages on the internet", but replaces it by offhandedly mentioning horoscopes. No loss in the English version; We were all about astrology in the late 90's and early 00's United States.

Zodiac-based divination was so mainstream in American culture back in the day that I actually had a momentary kneejerk reaction over Koushiro calling it "occult". Like. Fuck do you mean occult!? They're just constellations that people use on a daily basis to oracularly divine the future for millions of stranger-- oh.

So, culturally, this is a good change. It's super easy for Izzy to just start namedropping Leo and Sagittarius. Those things are right there in the morning newspaper your dad reads every day. Kids will get it. And if they don't, it's easy for them to find out.

Suddenly, the building shakes. Outside, large chunks of the castle are beginning to move and reconfigure.

Takeru: W-What's that sound? Yamato: I don't know. Mimi: It feels like something awful.... Patamon: I'll go take a look!

Patamon flies up the stairs to scout what's happening. While that's happening, Taichi tries another configuration.

Taichi: How about this? Sora: Well.... Jou: It's useless. Mimi: It is not! Don't say that! Jou: Even if we come up with something that might work, there's no guarantee it's correct. Yamato: That's true, but--

Before he can finish, the castle shakes again. The structures have begun to fall in on each other.

This is meant to be a quiet build-up to tension. The background music is absent, as Taichi and the others are still trying to figure out the cards. We don't know that we're in danger yet, but something certainly seems to be happening that warrants investigation.

The dub plays their Peril Music track and dials the alarm up to 11 from the moment the kids notice the first quakes.

T.K.: Matt, what's that sound!?!? Matt: I don't know! Mimi: Well, maybe someone should go take a-- Patamon: I'll go find out! (flies off) Tai: Come on, guys! We have to figure out the cards! Sora: Yeah! Let's go! Joe: What's the point!? We'll never unlock the Gate. Sora: Don't even say that, Joe! Joe: Even if we put the cards in the holes so they look right, we have no way of knowing until it's too late! Matt: We have to try, Joe!

Nonetheless, the crux of this scene - Jou despairing over the unsolvable card puzzle - comes through intact.

Patamon: (soaring back down the stairs) WE HAVE TROUBLE!!! THE CASTLE IS CRUMBLING!!! Taichi: WHAT!?!? Mochimon: AUGH!!! This might be my fault! I broke the ceiling earlier! Patamon: All of the passages are blocked! Yamato: So now we can't turn back! Sora: That's not all! This place will start collapsing soon too!

With their backs against the wall, Jou-senpai makes a pronouncement, harkening back to what Gennai said to them before they left.

Jou: Taichi. Taichi: What? Jou: I'm going to let you handle this. Taichi: What's this all of a sudden? Jou: I'm not saying I don't want the responsibility. This is because I have faith in you! Taichi: Eh!? Yamato: Me too! At times like this, we should follow our leader. Taichi: Hey, now! Since when am I the leader!? Yamato: When you disappeared, we all fell apart. You were the one who brought us back together again! Taichi: That was a coincide-- Mimi: WHO CARES!?!? Sora: Mimi-chan? Mimi: DO SOMETHING TO TAKE ME HOME!!!

Then Mimi suddenly sticks out her tongue to reveal she was playing around.

Mimi: I've been whining like that this whole time, but that's not how it works. I won't speak selfishly anymore. Sora: That's right! If we don't change ourselves, nothing else will! Yamato: That is why I'm putting my faith in our nakama. Taichi: Everyone.... Yamato: You agree, don't you, Takeru? Takeru: Yeah! Even if we do end up in a different world, we'll all be together. That's why I'm not scared! Yamato: That's right! Sora: What about you, Koushiro-kun? Koushiro: (uncomfortable) Y-Yes. I always had faith in Taichi-san even before all this. Group: DO IT, TAICHI!!! (beat) Taichi: (with resolve) I will.

As of this moment, Taichi is officially team leader. The group has decided that he proved himself over the course of the PicoDevimon to be the glue that holds this nakama together.

We're a long way from that shit he pulled at Nanomon's pyramid. Chronologically. It's been months so nobody's thinking about that anymore, except Tai because that was like yesterday.

The dub starts this section off by removing the point Mochimon made about this being his fault.

Tai: Something tells me we don't have much time! Patamon: Hey, everyone! The walls and ceilings in the castle are caving in! The passages are all blocked! Matt: That means we can't go back the way we came in! We're trapped! Izzy: Now we have to open the Gate. One of us has to choose nine cards and put them in the holes, and that will be that. Joe: You, Tai. Tai: Me? Joe: Yeah, it's your call. Tai: Mine!? Why is it up to me!? Joe: I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything like that. I just think we all really believe in you, Tai. Tai: Me?

This endorsement doesn't really hit as hard when Joe isn't at least on paper our responsible senpai who's supposed to look out for us. The Team Weenie wants Tai to do it; Big surprise there. Fortunately, we still have the others.

Matt: Joe's right! In times like these, decisions need to be made by the one in charge! Tai: Hold on, have you guys all gone crazy!? Who made me leader!? Matt: Do you remember when you were gone, Tai? We fell apart without you around! And after all that, weren't you the one who managed to bring us all back together again? Tai: Uh, yeah, I guess-- Mimi: JUST DO IT, TAI!!! Sora: Mimi? Mimi: I JUST WANT TO GET BACK TO MY HOME, THAT'S ALL!!! (Mimi suddenly gives a :P) Mimi: Oh, I'm sorry. I was being selfish again. I have to remember that we're a team. Come on, Tai! Save the day! Sora: Yeah, we have to believe in our friends! Remember what Gennai said? Matt: Yeah! He said to believe in our power! You believe, don't you, Tai? Tai: Maybe....

He did not. What Gennai said was "Don't forget that you are the DigiDestined. I cannot help you at the castle. Good luck!" You could infer that sentiment, but he certainly didn't say those words. The English kids are referencing things only said in the Japanese script again.

Mimi's moment of self-deprecation spinning into self-actualization is replaced with Mimi sincerely whining but then catching herself. Which isn't necessarily a bad change but it does mean her sudden :P partway through doesn't make much sense.

From there, instead of asking T.K. and Izzy's opinions, the kids just start calling back to other episodes. I guess we don't care what those two think.

Joe: Come on, we've gone through a lot of weird stuff already! If we hadn't stuck together, we never would have beaten Seadramon! Matt: Or smashed Tyrannomon! Mimi: Or escaped from Toy Town! Joe: And I'd still be making french fries in Vegiemon's diner if you hadn't saved me. You can do it, Tai! Group: YOU CAN DO IT, TAI!!! (beat) Tai: (with resolve) ALRIGHT.

Those feel like weird examples to me. Yamato and Gabumon fought off Seadramon by themselves. Taichi and Agumon defeated Tyrannomon by themselves while everyone else was afflicted with Love Serenade. Mimi and Palmon defeated Monzaemon and saved the team from Toy Town with help, but it was from an army of Numemon, not the other kids.

None of those victories was achieved through teamwork and relying on one another. Though the Vegiemon one, at least, is valid. That is a solid example of overcoming a problem by working together and having each other's backs.

ShogunGekomon would have been another good example to draw on, as Togemon, Ikkakumon, and Greymon/MetalGreymon all worked together to protect Mimi from him and ultimately vanquish him.

Also, general rallying about teamwork isn't what we're talking about here anyway; We're trying to puff up Tai into believing he deserves a position of authority over the rest of the group. He only gets credit for two of those four examples.

This is off-topic, and it replaces sincere moments of Takeru and Koushiro expressing their faith in Taichi, in the nakama, and in their ability to persevere through whatever comes their way.

(Especially Koushiro, who has always believed in Taichi and you can see that throughout the series. Koushiro looks up to Taichi like an older brother.)

Once Taichi is placed in charge, he immediately passes the buck to the correct person to be doing this actually.

Taichi: Just to confirm this: Will all of you really follow my decision? Group: (synchronized nodding) Mmhmm. Taichi: Great! Then I've decided! Koushiro! I want you to choose! Koushiro: M-Me!? Mimi: If that's what Taichi-san's decided, then I think it's a good idea. Yamato: We're counting on you, Koushiro! Takeru: Koushiro-san! Koushiro: But if I get it wrong-- Jou: No one will hold it against you. Sora: We have faith in you! Taichi: What they said.

Yeah, this is definitely a Koushiro problem. An esoteric and poorly-explained lore puzzle is directly within his wheelhouse.

The dub follows the script until Jou and Sora's lines. The two of them get cut in favor of having Mimi and Tai chime in again.

Izzy: But what happens if I'm wrong? Mimi: No one will blame you. Tai: We all know you're the right one for the job, Izzy. Go for it!

Once the decision is made, Koushiro gets work trying to crack this mystery.

Koushiro: Well, then.... Mochimon: Koushiro-han, maybe your laptop can help. Koushiro: My laptop?

Everyone stands by silently and watches Koushiro take out his laptop and open it up.

Koushiro: If I had access to the internet here, I would be able to ask people who know more about the occult.

He leafs through the Digimon Analyzer, skimming over profiles. Devimon, Leomon, Ogremon, Kentarumon, Whamon--

Koushiro: Ehh!?

He goes back, and we see the sigils superimposed over their entries. It's not Sagittarius and Leo; It's Kentarumon and Leomon.

Koushiro: Then the monkey is....

Koushiro pulls up Etemon's profile, adding it to the list.

Koushiro: This is it! But what does it mean? (flashback) Gennai: Digimon are further classified by the attributes Data, Virus, and Vaccine. Koushiro: Attributes!

Koushiro zooms each profile in on the three's Attributes.

Leomon: Vaccine

Kentarumon: Data

Etemon: Virus

That's one axis.

Koushiro: Who here has met Digitamamon and TonosamaGekomon? Jou: I have. Koushiro: Bring me your Digivice!

Koushiro plugs Jou's Digivice into the laptop and downloads those two profiles.

Over in the dub:

Izzy: I still have no idea how this all fits together. Motimon: Maybe you could use your computer to help figure it out! Izzy: The computer? Right now, I'd rather use it to log onto the internet and book us a flight out of this place. (Izzy skims through the profiles) Izzy: HUH!?!? Wait a minute.... (Izzy goes back through) The horse. The lion. And... THE MONKEY!!! THAT'S IT!!! (flashback) Gennai: Remember, all Digimon can be classified as Data, Virus, or Vaccine. Izzy: Could it be!?

We don't get to see the confirmation of his question for ourselves. The dub cuts the shot of him zooming in on the three Digimon's attributes. Probably because of how skittish they are about showing Japanese letters onscreen.

He then casts his vote on TonosamaGekomon's name. Remember how the Analyzer said ShogunGekomon but all the characters said Shogunmon?

Izzy: Who here has met up with Digitamamon and Gekomon? Joe: I have! Izzy: Give me your Digivice.

THAT WASN'T ONE OF THE OPTIONS, IZZY. THAT IS A DIFFERENT DIGIMON, IZZY.

The Analyzer, incidentally, still clearly reads "SHOGUNGEKOMON" in the big bold English font they used to replace the original Japanese lettering.

All this context is precisely what Koushiro needs to crack this puzzle.

Something absolutely none of the kids picked up on is that the cards themselves hint at the X-axis. Vaccines have a red background, Datas have a green background, and Viruses have a blue background. That would have been a great place to start, but every single one of these kids failed at pattern recognition.

Their school needs to do better at teaching critical thinking.

Taichi: Did you figure it out? Koushiro: Let me explain. (Koushiro draws his own reproduction of the pedestal in the sand) Koushiro: Listen closely. Take a look at this. Lion, Archer, Monkey. These respectively represent Leomon, Kentarumon, and Etemon. Each has a different Attribute. Specifically Vaccine, Data, and Virus. What I'd like to point out next are the number of stars. From top to bottom, they mean Child, Adult, and Perfect-stage. If you put the cards in the appropriate places.... Jou: It's a perfect fit! Sora: That's amazing, Koushiro-kun! (zoom in on Gomamon and Agumon) Koushiro: But there are two here. Either of them could be the wrong one, but I can't tell. I'm sorry. I couldn't live up to your expectations. Jou: What are you talking about? You did great!

The kids all give Koushiro a round of applause.

Koushiro: (smiling) Everyone.... Sora: You should decide the rest, Taichi. Taichi: Will do. You were a big help, Koushiro. Thank you.

The dub follows the same script until Izzy makes the same mistake Joe did.

Izzy: The stars starting from the top represent In-Training, Rookie, and Champion! So now we can put all the cards in the right squares. Sora: You did it, Izzy! Good work! Tai: We knew you'd figure it out! (zoom in on Gomamon and Agumon) Izzy: But wait a minute. Not so fast. There are two cards here. One of them is the fake but I don't know which one. So that's it. I'm sorry, we still can't be certain where the Gate will open to. Joe: But we made it this far! That's great! (round of applause) Izzy: Yes, it is! Sora: Tai can pick which one's fake. Tai: if I can't, everyone gets an ice cream and I'm buying!

Like. The dub team just forgot what they're calling the stages. Come on, guys.

It's a good thing Koushiro was able to get us this far because we are out of time. As the castle continues to shake and fall apart, spiders suddenly descends from the ceiling.

Jou: Who is that!? Koushiro: (laptop) I'll have their data pulled up in a minute.

That is Dokugumon. An Adult-stage Virus-type Insect Digimon. The name comes from dokugumo, which means a poisonous spider.

This Digimon does not exist in the V-Pet. Yet. It's an early preview of an up-and-coming new addition. This episode aired on September 19th, 1999. Dokugumon is a Nightmare Soldier added in the .5 edition released the following month, replacing Bakemon in the lineup.

The Chosen Children are being attacked by a product ad.

Narrator: Dokugumon. A cursed Digimon whose entire body is covered in a computer virus. Their special attack, Stinger Poration, is released from their sharp fangs. Dokugumon: Anyone who damages Vamdemon-sama's castle will pay with their lives!

Well, there's a fucking word. "Poration". The formation of pores. Dokugumon will make new pores in your skin. Using their stinger. Fun for the whole family!

Appropriately, the dub has Izzy do the diegetic rundown.

Tai: What is that!? Izzy: I'll tell you in just a minute! Izzy: (rundown) It's Dokugumon! An evil Digimon with computer virus parasites covering his body! Dokugumon: INTRUDERS IN THE CASTLE MUST BE DESTROYED!!! GO GET THEM!!!

Again, the dub cuts the reference to the fact that AtlurKabuterimon's enthusiasm destroyed Vamdemon's castle and caused the calamity we are currently in. In the dub, Dokugumon's just acting as a security guard.

Dokugumon does not lead with Stinger Poration, instead sending a swarm of weird-ass baby spiders whose existence is super questionable within the Digimon life cycle. But eventually they would be acknowledged as KoDokugumon.

Garurumon, Togemon, and Ikkakumon all evolves and unload on the KoDokugumon swarm. A few get through and attack Sora, provoking Pyokomon to regain her Piyomon form and counter with Magical Fire.

In the dub, Garurumon forgets his attack name (Howling Blaster) and instead calls Blue Blaster, which is Gabumon's.

While the Digimon hold the line, Taichi places the cards on the pedestal and agonizes over the final decision.

Taichi: Which one. Agumon or Gomamon? Mimi: TAICHI-SAN, HURRY!!! Jou: It doesn't matter which!

Hahaha it kind of does matter if you don't want to swap skin with Gomamon, my dude.

The dub cuts Jou's line which is no real loss because it's kind of stupid. XD

Tai: I can't decide! Which one is the fake card? Mimi: HURRY UP!!! CHOOSE!!! Tai: If I choose wrong, we're toast!

While Taichi agonizes over this choice, Dokugumon enters the fray themselves.

Dokugumon: I WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE!!!

Binding the three Adult Digimon with webbing, they yank them up helplessly into the air and hit them with Stinger Poration.

Togemon: I'M GOING NUMB!!! Dokugumon: THE CHILDREN ARE NEXT!!! Yamato: GARURUMON!!! Sora: GANBATTE!!!

There's another conjugation of ganbaru, the important Japanese cultural principle of working hard and persevering through tremendous adversity.

The dub cuts most of this combat shouting. Dokugumon just cackles menacingly. They name the webbing attack "Poison Thread", and then the actual Stinger Poration is called "Poison Cobweb".

Matt: GARURUMON!!! Sora: Digivolve again!

Not quite as punchy as shrieking ganbatte at the top of her lungs.

Garurumon takes Sora's advice and perseveres.

Super-evolving into WereGarurumon, he uses his Kaiser Nail to cut the other two free and wrestles with Dokugumon. The bright red energy released by his Kaiser Nail cuts straight through the walls, knocking huge chunks off the dwindling mountain holding up the castle.

Gomamon and Palmon lose their Adult-stage and revert as they fall.

Patamon?: TAICHI!!! Yamato: You're still deciding!? Sora: PICK ONE!!! Taichi: Alright, I've got it!

Fulfilling the idea Gennai throttled him for, Taichi throws both cards face-down and just turns one over.

Taichi: THIS ONE!!! (turns over Gomamon) Open the Gate, GOMAMON!!!

In his defense, there is no way to discern which card to use. At this point, it is a 50/50 coin flip, and there's no wrong way to flip a coin. What Taichi just did was a clever method of breaking choice paralysis. I've actually employed similar methods many times in my life.

In the dub, only Matt yells at Tai.

Matt: TAI, YOU'VE GOTTA MAKE UP YOUR MIND NOW!!! WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!! Tai: (throws down the cards) Okay! It's this one! (turns over Gomamon) Come on! NOW!!!

The Gate opens wide, granting the children passage to whichever world lies beyond, and they take off running.

Except Yamato, who stays behind to grab his Partner.

Yamato: WE HAVE TO GO!!! Dokugumon: I WILL DRAG YOU TO HELL WITH ME!!!

They will not.

WereGarurumon: KAISER NAIL!!!

Dokugumon takes a point-blank Kaiser Nail that decapitates the goddamn castle, cutting through what's left of the mountain and bringing the entire thing down like a freshly logged tree. The attack erases Dokugumon.

Once the up-and-coming Nightmare Soldier IN STORES NEXT MONTH has been carved into pixel dust, Yamato catches the reverted Tsunomon and they too make the long sprint to the other world.

Yamato: Thank you, Tsunomon! LET'S GO!!!

The dub obviously changes out "I'll drag you to Hell with me".

Matt: Leave him and come on! Dokugumon: YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE IN ONE PIECE!!!

They also cut WereGarurumon calling his Kaiser Nail. Then Matt's line is:

Matt: It was real close, Tsunomon, but it looks like we made it!

Bit too calm for my liking.

The children wake up back at the campgrounds, lying on the ground in front of the shrine they'd started at all those months ago.

Yamato: (waking up) Th-This is.... Taichi: Japan? Jou: This shrine... WE'RE ON THE CAMPGROUNDS!!! WE MADE IT BACK!!!

Mimi starts bawling from sheer joy and relief.

Sora: This is where we left for the Digimon's world. (beat) Sora: Where are our Digimon!? Koushiro: It couldn't have been a dream, could it? Sora: (heartbroken) ...maybe it was the wrong card-- Piyomon: Sora! Sora: (gasp, suddenly ecstatic) OR NOT!!!

Sora's come a long way from being weirded out by Piyomon's pushy friendliness and reluctant to emotionally connect to others in general.

In the dub, they don't mention Japan.

Matt: (waking up) H-huh.... Tai: Where are we? Joe: I know this place. This is the summer camp where we all met! You did it, Tai! We're home again! Mimi: OHHHHH HOME WHOOOAAA!!!

Dub Mimi doesn't so much cry as... some kind of yowling vocalization.

Sora: We're back to where we were first sucked into the Digital World. But where are our Digimon? Izzy: I wonder if we got the cards wrong after all? Sora: (heartbroken) Then in this world, we could be without them. Piyomon: You can't get rid of us that easily! Sora: (gasp, suddenly ecstatic, giggles)

Here Izzy theorizes that the card was wrong, rather than Sora despondently accusing it.

Right as it's revealed that the Digimon made it across too, the insert song "Seven" fires up to relieve the tension, which comes across as surprisingly hopeful now that we're back.

Palmon: Looks like you're all awake. Taichi: (jolly) And where did all of you get off to? Gomamon: Foraging for food!

The Digimon all reveal berry bushes that they brought with them. How Tsunomon and Koromon carried theirs, I have no idea. The kids have a good laugh about it.

Jou: Hahaha! This is Japan, so you don't have to eat that stuff anymore! Mimi: You'll get to eat nicer things! Everyone: WELCOME BACK!!! WE'RE HOME!!!

The dub overcompensates for the fact that we are admittedly in Japan right now by turning this last bit into another rousing round of just rattling off American things.

Palmon: Wake up! Come on, sleepyheads! Tai: We're up! We're up! Where have you been? Gomamon: (berries) We thought we ought to go look for a little lunch! Joe: Hahaha! Now that we're home, we don't have to eat leaves anymore! We can eat cheeseburgers! Mimi: That's right! And pepperoni pizza! T.K.: And french fries! Matt: And ice cream! Sora: Yeah! And broccoli: Other Kids: BROCCOLI!?!?

Before we can wrap up, Koromon has a question for Taichi.

Koromon: Taichi, why didn't you choose my card? Taichi: Your card? Oh, uh... I wanted to keep it as a souvenir? Koromon: Really. (¬_¬)

Koromon is right to be skeptical. Taichi is lying through his teeth. He picked at random.

Dub Tai seems to sell his lie better.

Koromon: How did you know that my card was the fake, Tai? Taichi: I didn't. I kept your card because you're my friend! Koromon: Hehe, that's so nice! (¬_¬)

Though the expression he's making doesn't really vibe with the pleasant response.

Taichi quickly changes the subject.

Taichi: A-Anyways! We should start looking for the Eighth Child. Yamato: Yeah! Vamdemon must already have made his move. Taichi: Hikarigaoka. I'm certain that's where the Eighth Child is. Let's find the kid before they do and rescue them! Group: RIGHT!!!

Good news, Vamdemon can't have gotten far. The time dilation that Taichi experienced earlier means it's been like eight minutes since he and his forces arrived in Japan. But the kids don't really understand how that works yet.

In the dub, of course, they've been dancing around Japan so they're not going to say Hikarigaoka.

Tai: Hey, everybody! We've got to go and find the Eighth Child! Matt: Yeah! And we've got to get a move on since Myotismon's there ahead of us! Tai: I'm happy that we're finally headed back to my hometown! And we already know that's where we're gonna find the Eighth Child! LET'S GO!!!

Tai, you live in Odaiba. You're as bad as Matt when it comes to reading Gennai Maps.

Ironically, Tai is actually so wrong right now that he comes full circle to being correct. Because the Eighth Child is, in fact, in Odaiba. Odaiba isn't the plan. But it is where she is. So. I guess. He gets a cookie anyway.

Assessment: I wonder what Dokugumon did to get snubbed from the Assault Team? They're not a mercenary. They actually work for Vamdemon, like Tailmon and PicoDevimon. If they really are just the security guard then they've done a terrible job of it, 'cause this is the first we've heard of them after fucking around the castle for two days straight.

I mean. They're dead now, so I guess it doesn't matter. RIP spider who was way too late to this party.

This episode formally introduces Digimon attributes to the series. They've technically been around since the very first rundown but now the kids know about them. Koushiro is becoming more and more capable as the Guy In The Chair.

This is a hard episode to watch only because it comes between the kids nearly making it to Japan and the kids being in Japan, which is arguably the best part of the series. So part of me was just vibrating in my chair wanting to get to Japan for the whole episode. XD

The dub had some unbelievable mistakes this time around. Like. Messing up attack names is one thing but they forgot what they even named the tiers of Digimon stages. They also cut out minor plot points and any mention of Japan or Hikarigaoka.

I wouldn't call this a complete hack job but it's not one of the dub's better episodes.

[localravenclaw]

Hello! I'm back! (ish)

How are you guys? ♡♡♡

I managed to cross off a few things from my bucket list and dare I say, girlie is feeling hella blessed despite looking like a zombie after a week-long holiday in and out of the country.

We got to see the 'Tolkien Door' at St. Edward's Church in Gloucestershire, which is rumoured to be the inspiration for the Doors of Durin. You guys know I'm a big Tolkien nerd. XD

We also revisited the stone staircase at Bodley Tower in Oxford, which was the filming location of the Grand Staircase scenes in the HP movies (or some of it, at least).

Oh, and of course, we got to see the final race of the season as part of our anniversary trip! My partner and I are big F1 fans and we've had this race in our bucket list. It was lovely revisiting my old home and just complaining about the blaring sun once again, as one does when away from the bleak, grey skies of England. That didn't stop me from fangirling over Oscar Piastri though, even if he didn't make it to the podium this season.

Anyways, we did so many wonderful things in between and I am beyond exhausted but very much fulfilled. I am back to my boring ass life now, so that means more Seb pics and HL memes, I suppose. ♡

[shadowphoenixrider]

Summer Dreams

(This fic is set before Sins of the Past, because of course I write a fic that precedes it...after I post it. XD This is from Shadow's 1st person POV, and it's mostly fluff and some banter. Hope you enjoy!)

"Shadow, outside on a summer's day?" I rolled my eyes at the familiar Cajun drawl coming up beside me. "Never thought Gambit'd see de day."

I gave the dark-eyed mutant a Look, although I was unable to hold it against his wide, playful grin.

"I've been outside plenty of times, Cajun." I replied, folding my arms. "I'm just not as athletically gifted as you or the others - I prefer my outdoor time be savouring it, not being reminded of PE at school."

"That why ya prefer de Danger Room?" Gambit asked, shoving a hand into the pocket of his ripped jeans.

"Yeah. Less baggage, more fun." I half-chuckled. "Even when I get my ass kicked by everyone. I do feel like I'm getting better at it though, slowly but surely."

"Reckon so. Next guy dat tangles wit ya ain't gonna know what hit him!" Gambit chuckled.

My smile faltered, and I looked away. Ah, yes. I was only here for as long as my admin leave lasted, and the need to keep me hidden from the Friends of Humanity. Luckily the latter seemed no longer an issue, yet...

When I was younger, I had dreamed of being spirited away to a place like Xavier's school, a place where I belonged and could escape to. A place I could be me, could be more. Those dreams had lingered, despite growing up, buried under adult responsibilities.

Now they had been all but laid in my lap, all for the taking, yet I was no longer the bright-eyed energetic teenager like Jubilee. And it was clear I could never measure up to the other X-Men; their powers were stronger, their fighting prowess leagues ahead, and I had the body of a nerd whose crowning achievement was climbing a hill in the Scottish Highlands.

Xavier had assured me numerous times I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted, even beyond the agreement. Even Wolverine was fairly convinced that I was not threat to the team, mostly through me being a wet noodle in sparring matches, though the time had helped.

And yet...

A cool wind gusted by us, stirring the long grasses over the grounds like a beautiful green ocean, rippling like the surface of the lake. It would be cut short soon, as pleasant as it would be to see the wild flowers bloom within - a reputation had to be upheld.

"Beautiful day, eh, petite?" Gambit said softly. His gaze had followed mine, looking out over the rolling grasses, the breeze playing with the long curls of his red-brown hair. I found my eyes tracing the line of his stubbled jaw, chiselled like marble, lingering long enough that his eyes flicked back to me, catching me staring.

I blushed, quickly looking away.

"Y-Yeah, it is. It's why I came out. Wanted to enjoy it."

I saw something flash across Gambit's face from corner of my eye.

"Hope I ain't disturbin' you, then." Something in that statement made me frown slightly, an undercurrent of negativity.

"No, not all." I shook my head, looking back to him. "I don't mind company." I considered a moment, rewording myself. "I like your company."

His eyebrows lifted for a moment, an enigmatic smile tugging at his lips.

"Merci, petite," he said. "Glad ya feel that way."

I held his gaze for a long moment; his black and red eyes had always captivated me from the first moment we met, and they did so once again. It seemed that I'd also gotten under Gambit's skin, both literally and metaphorically, as he'd appeared to have taken it upon himself to be my unofficial guardian whilst staying the mansion. According to Jubilee, he'd done similar for her, so it wasn't exactly a surprise.

However, I couldn't shake the feeling that the Cajun with kinetic mastery had taken a particular shine to me. When I took time to myself, he often would check up on me just once to make sure I was alright, always asking about the latest errand I was running for Doctor McCoy, and even reading over my shoulder when he thought I hadn't noticed him.

Not to mention how willing he was to goad me into verbal sparring matches...

Suddenly, I heard a high-pitched twittering noise, rising and falling into a wheezy warble. Whipping my head to the side, I caught sight of a quick flash of blue across the grass, joined by another sweeping low with scythe shaped wings.

"Look! Swallows!" I gasped.

The swallows skimmed the grasses like fish through water, so impossibly fast that my eyes could barely keep up. Diving and twisting, their forked tail streamers flared whenever they changed direction in instants of a second, white bellies flashing in the sun. Bold or reckless, the swallows shot by us as streaks of blue, their bubbling song lifting up and around us.

"Ki-yar!" Gambit exclaimed as one wheeled inches from us, close enough to show the white spots under its tail. "Those birds can really move! Didn't know dey came out dis way."

"Neither did I!" I replied, giddy in my excitement as I watched them dance in the midday sun. "I was more expecting to see swifts!"

"Dere's a difference?" Gambit asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.

"Yes - same family, different species. Look, watch this one!" I pointed to a swallow gliding low, just before it banked sharply, its tail streamers spread wide. "See how long its tail is? Swifts' tails are much shorter and stubbier. That and swifts are all black, look like miniature crescents when they're in the air. Swallows like these are blue and white, with a little red face."

The look on his face was one of intrigued wonder, almost like he was seeing me for the first time again.

"They both hunt similarly, though I've more often seen swallows hunt like this - snatching insects hovering above the long grass." I continued. "Swifts tend to fly high, so high you can barely see them circling above. But you definitely hear them - it's a sound you've probably heard before, though didn't know what it was. It's a high-pitched scream, very eerie." I chuckled. "There's tales that they used to be known as the Devil's Screamers because of it."

"That so?" Gambit raised an eyebrow. A smile pulled across his lips. "Sounds like dese birds mean a lot to you."

"Birds in general do." I lifted a shoulder. "I just...I just like them. Always a little annoyed my mutant powers never let me fly or become one, honestly."

Gambit chuckled richly.

"Ain't that the truth. Bein' able to fly would make things quite a bit easier. Don't mind being picked up by de ladies on missions, but it'd be nice not to have to rely on them, you know?"

I nodded.

"Yeah. You don't want to be seen as a burden all the time. Especially when you can't see how you could be an asset to them."

Gambit glanced at me, expression unreadable.

"The Professor says there always be somethin' you can give back. Even if ya don't see it yet," he said.

"Hah." I let my gaze drift back to the swallows. "I don't know what I can give aside from my powers, and they don't even work on two of you."

"Gambit can think of many things a beautiful woman like yourself can bring to de team, mon amie." Gambit said, one thick eyebrow arched. "Far beyond ya company an' excellent conversation."

"If you make a comment about my ass, I'm punching you." I shot back, annoyance prickling along my skin. Really?!

"Non, Gambit not gonna play with you like that," he said, his tone becoming contrite. "If ya did want to stay with us, you would be givin' back. Even if ya powers can't heal Rogue an' only sorta work on Wolverine, he don't need it. An' dat still leaves everyone else dat would appreciate ya healing touch after a bad day at de office."

"As for not bein' as fit as de rest of us - it come wit time, petite. Gambit had a bit of a headstart, but he had to get in shape too. Jubilee'll do de same when she gets old enough. An' maybe ya don't ever get to de same level as us." He shrugged. "Den dat's fine. Beast be more den happy to have someone wit him in de lab, or lookin' up things when we be out in de field. 'Nother fighter be useful, but that don't mean ya useless. Far from it."

A pair of swallows twisted and tumbled together, twittering excitedly. They seemed so free, unchained from worries and guilt and doubt. One arched away from its mate, barrelling towards us as it sang its reedy, warbling song, so close it stirred the hair covering my ear.

For a second, I wasn't on the grounds of the X-Mansion; I was back at school, young, feeling completely alone. Yet the swallows hurtled across the playing fields like blue bullets, whipping past my ears and filling the air with song. They lifted my heart, dancing around me without a care in the world, as free as the wind they soared through. How I longed to follow them, to escape the fear and the hurt and the-

"Shadow?" Gambit's voice snapped me from my memories. He was frowning slightly. "Doin' ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just...thinking."

"Anythin' you wanna share with Gambit?" He asked kindly.

"I..." I shut my mouth. Thought for a second. "I always liked birds, but swallows have always had a close place in my heart." I explained, Gambit watching me intently. "I remember always being so excited to see them arrive when I was little, seeing their little chicks all squashed into the nest. They're beautiful birds, both in how they look and how they fly. And they...they've always been a good sign, for me."

"How so?"

"I...When I went through a rough patch, growing up, I didn't see them as often. When I did, it would be an event to me. A good day, something I could cling to when everything was shit." I smiled. "They became my good luck charm."

The Cajun slowly turned his head to the swallows.

"Den it certainly be a good day for you," he said gently.

"Yes. Definitely." I nodded. That was it. My mind was made up.

Swallows made their own destinies, flying hundreds upon thousands of miles over fathomless oceans and burning deserts to where they'd been born to raise their own chicks. It was time I made my own.

"Hey Gambit?" I asked, stepping closer to him.

"Hmm?" He hummed pleasantly, turning his head to me.

"Think the Danger Room's free right now?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Bored of de outside already, petite?" He teased.

"Well, I wanted to do some practice with you, but now I think I want to kick your ass!" I grinned, folding my arms and straightening my back to my full height.

"Dem's fightin' words, mon amie! Gambit don't know if ya can deliver, though." He grinned back, tucking a finger under his chin. "Maybe if Gambit tie his hand behind his back?"

I shoved him playfully, making him laugh.

"You are such a twat!" I turned away from him, folding my arms again. "Maybe I'll ask Storm instead, if you're gonna be mean to me!"

"Ah come now petite, Gambit only razzin' ya!" His grin gentled into a smile, and I let him slide his arm around my shoulders. "Gambit always happy to practice wit ya. Got any other ideas if it be taken, though?"

"Not really, hadn't thought that far ahead." I admitted, looking up at him. "You got anything that doesn't involve a card game?"

"Pshht, not everythin' 'bout Gambit involves cards, petite."

"Only most things." I smirked, raising an eyebrow.

It was his turn to give me a side-eyed Look.

"Ok, now you be de mean one, mon amie."

"Hey look, you were the one who started this!" I replied, spreading my hands.

"Maybe Gambit should jus' go away den if ya gonna hurt his feelin's!" He declared dramatically, pulling an upset expression two degrees away from needing a fainting couch.

"Nooo, don't go." I giggled, grabbing his wrist as he tried to unwind his arm from me. "Where else am I going to find a handsome Cajun to keep me company?"

The switch in his demeanour was immediate and amusing, Gambit leering at me with an eyebrow quirked and a suggestive grin.

"Oh, you think Gambit's handsome, do you?" His voice sunk into a lower register that made my lower back shiver.

"You're not bad on the eyes, no." I said, trying to ignore the heat rising into my face. "Anyway, I was asking you about what other ideas you might have if the Danger Room's busy."

Gambit seemed to debate with himself for a second or two, before he blinked, softening his expression.

"It do be a bit of a shame to head to de Danger Room an' waste this beautiful day, petite," he said. "How about we take a walk down to de lake? Might not be as intense as de simulations, but ya might enjoy stretchin' ya legs a little more dis way."

I frowned thoughtfully.

"Gambit be happy to let ya walk alone though, if ya prefer." He added, slightly hurriedly. "Dere be a path ya can follow dat takes ya back to de mansion-"

"I enjoy your company, Gambit." I reminded him, smiling. "And you're right. We should enjoy this day whilst we've got it." I nodded towards the forest. "Shall we?"

For a moment, Gambit's smile was wide and genuine, almost...giddy? And then he stepped up next to me, and we began our stroll, the swallow-song following in our wake.