#back then it was a survival game. and i felt like im doing something. even if it was just surviving

[jrueships]

What are the psychosexual consequences of the twolves dominance right now

mmm.. i have been Chewing on this...

for quite some time .

so this is a thought i have always had tbh. These playoff results so far have just been bolstering my confidence in it.

Ant and Kat's love is loud love.

The Suns love is no love. Not that they dont have any love At All, because they do. But for each other? Im not so sure. The Suns is Men doing it all for the image of finally being champions so they can prove themselves to the people OUTSIDE their team.

The nuggets is domestic love. It's quiet, it's comfortable, it's won a championship, it's retired love. Retired does Not mean dead, it does not mean completely inactive, it means slower moving, at a personal pace, enjoying what you find to be the thing you wouldn't mind dying doing. Jokic and Jamal don't have to say they're in love 24/7 to let us know they're in love. Jokic doesn't have to talk about horses all the time to reporters for reporters to find out how much he actually does from him always going back to visit them. It's quiet, but it's so strong that it doesn't have to be anything but quiet to know

The mavs is a love built on respect. Wordless, they know they can depend on the other no matter what troubles the other may be dealing with or how much is happening, they Know someone will always be there to get the job done. They KNOW it's not a waste, whatever they're doing .

Kat Needs positive reinforcement, reminisces on it, dreams for it, grows restless and angered without it. Gets real self-conscious and starts faking everything to seem like he has everything so people can start treating him like he's not just some everybody in the world, but a SOMEbody in the world, someone whose opinions, thoughts, actions, and.. possibly most importantly.. WORDS will always be remembered as a meaningful contribution to the world.

Ant is a people pleaser. But he's not the meek, 'let your favorite teacher pronounce your name wrong until the grave' people pleaser where it can be pointed out as a problem, he's a Clever one. He's the kind of people pleaser who can step into a room and spotlight the targets that need the most self-value.. all so He can assure his Own self-value, and protect it. Because, ultimately, the phrase 'everybody loves Anthony edwards' is all about Anthony Edwards, which should be obvious, right? The answer's smack dab in front of your face, but the Confidence. The charisma of it all. Covers it. Conceals it just briefly, just enough for him to get away with it. Ant always knows what to say without even thinking twice. He's such a charmer. Except he's not. He's Always thinking, always brewing up the best ways to become a spectacle. Why even video himself saying that slur shit in the first place? Why not just keep that between him and his friend in the car like probably a good chunk other basketball players do ( because let's be honest. These are probably pretty straight men. They hate people like us. )

He can't. That wouldn't give him the best results in the kind of satisfaction he craves, which is all self based, when boiled down. He HAS to not only impress his one friend in the car with his in power teasing of others who don't even have a clue, he has to try and impress Everyone that he's included in his circle, and he just accidentally included the wrong crowd in that.

Ant and kat together are just two self-conscious people who like being together so they don't feel like they're two self-conscious people who like being together. Love can come in multiple forms, but, in my opinion, love oftentimes needs multiple forms to be at its strongest. When you pour all your love into one bucket, it leaves the others hollow. Love can be quiet, and it can be loud, it can be through words, through actions, through the easy times, AND the hard times, it is love.

I like to call Kat and ant the warped jaren and ja bcs unlike jaren and ja where it can all get spoiled from jaren saying something stupid like 'i love you' when they ARE in love and are just uncomfortable saying it, kat and ant NEED to say they're in love so they can feel like they aren't in it. It being Actual love, deep love that requires more than just pretty words and over-the-top compliments and sayings and comparisons and declarations. Actual love like ant going to kat's house and bringing the rest of the team because he knows kat misses having a stable family, hates the fact that something is missing and he'll never get it back.

Actual love like being awkward with each other

Which they Hate. Terribly. The two of them.

So they'll say how much they're in love with the other, how fondly they think about their memories, how they're so close. They'll tease and laugh and try to instruct the other. And the media laps it up, of course. Especially over the quiet love. It's just so boring in comparison.

Love is thrilling, and it is also boring. Like doing menial activities together like watching the news when you two could actually be the ones on it by doing something crazy together, but you don't, and you aren't, because you both agreed it's going to be a cozy day today where you'll both just be a cute pair of couch potatoes on a sofa watching TV together.

Ant and kat CANT be boring. They CANT just sit in that silence together. They have to say something. They have to know the other doesn't consider them a waste of their time because they don't have that same assurance in themselves.

Love is being scared.

Theyre not scared.

They can't Be scared.

Being down by 2 doesn't mean anything besides we'll bounce back. We're not scared about it. I played well, the shots just weren't falling, but i did good. We are doing good. We love each other. We swear.

We're not scared .

(TV loves confidence)

(Love loves fear)

[weirdlizard26]

help not me suddenly feeling like shit when theres a sudden power outage in a cartoon. literally the funniest thing that couldve come out of those no electricity months (sorry ended up venting in the tags?????)

[savannahsdeath]

A little req for you!! readers and katniss’s first kiss???

-💫

warnings: none, pure fluff 🫶 reader calls katniss "kat" two times because . yes . also this is v shitty but im tired and uhhhh

she came back from the games two days ago. the emotions are still boiling but you want to spend every second together. she won and you knew what it means - no one can take her away from you now.

you are on the meadow, sitting on the dew covered grass. a dark forest, in which katniss used to hunt, extends on your left. you can hear birds' songs echoing from there.

"i should have brought a blanket." you sigh as your dress uncovers your bare legs, letting the wet green strands tickle your thighs.

"it's okay." katniss chuckles and takes off her jacket. "stand up."

you do as you're told, your skirt waving from the sudden move. she stretches her cloth on the grass and motions for you to sit down on it.

"thank you." you smile and it's probably your first genuine smile since she got reaped. not counting the last two days, of course. you smiled a lot during them.

a minute of comfortable silence passes as you both watch the blue sky in front of you. the dark forest behind you doesn't matter, you only care about what's in front of you. just like in real life, you think. the past is the past. now is the time for the future.

"surprised?" katniss softly asks, as if she's scared to break the silence.

you knit your eyebrows together and tilt your head to look at her. "about what?"

she looks down. "about me coming back."

you can't tell if she's being serious or not, so you take a moment to think, before you burst out laughing. "you can't be serious! katniss, i knew you'll win."

"oh," she smiles, "you believed in me?"

"no, no..." you begin explaining. "i was just— sure. you're really good at playing with people's hearts - the capitol's, the districts', mine..."

"yours?" her eyes widen.

you shrug. "what happened between you and peeta-"

"nothing happened between me and peeta" she shakes her head. "we were just trying to survive."

"really?" you turn your whole body to her and she quickly follows your move.

"really." she giggles. "you thought... me and him...?"

"forget it." you wave your hand, a little embarrassed by your accusation.

no matter how much you didn't want to admit it, you always had a crush on katniss. they way she kept giving you mixed signals didn't help at all - in fact, it felt like your brain melted and she's stirring in your head, mixing your mind. what you thought you once knew stood with a big, question mark now.

and peeta, god, peeta. he was a good guy, you had to admit. funny, nice, smart, clever as hell. yet, you couldn't help but dislike him. hate would be too much, but you felt so, so jealous, you couldn't help but be skeptical. at first, you were sure he will betray her. you waited for this moment, as you knew she would end him with one arrow. but nothing happened. now...

now, sometimes you just wish he would actually end up being an asshole. so the whole panem wouldn't cheer nor applaud for their wedding.

your hair fall down your face. "i wish i was him" you think, snatching a strand of grass and nervously playing with it.

"you wish you would have to fight in the arena?" her eyebrows furrow, a look of pure confusion on her face. she leans in and tucks some of your hair behind your ear, revealing your features.

you realise you thought out loud and she heard your little wish. but at this point, it doesn't even bother you. she should know.

"no, kat." you throw the string away. "i wish we would have our moment."

you expected something bad to happen. maybe she'll think you took things too far and just... run away? she could stand up and leave you there at any moment. could you blame her? maybe she just loves peeta.

but she chuckles, and as you look up at her, she is smiling. you have no idea what's going on, though you can't help but smirk back as you see her so amused.

"what?" you giggle and your gaze drifts downwards.

"nothin', you're just—" she raises one of her arms and taps your chin, making you look back at her. at her lips, to be exact. she keeps herself sitting up by leaning on her free hand, until she moves this one too to cup your face. "we have our fifteen seconds of fame now."

the intensity of her voice makes your whole body tremble, all your emotions falling to the background, as everything that is in the foreground is just you and her. yet you can feel your confusion rise and you manage to huff out a quiet; "isn't it fifteen minutes?"

"well, can you hold your breath for fifteen minutes?" she whispers back.

before you can comprehend whatever she meant by that, you feel her lips press against yours. you instinctively whimper, but the sound get catched in the bridge of your tongues, inaudible to anyone but you two. the birds seem to stop singing, the crickets pause their ticking. she starts gently and carefully, as if to see if you won't pull away. you only bring her closer by her neck, what also forces a soft moan out of her.

eventually katniss breaks the kiss but doesn't pull away, so you can still feel and hear her breath. she closes her parted mouth to gulp before opening them again, while her body slowly moved where it was earlier, about half a meter distance from you.

"kat—" you trail after her, wanting to get more of the feeling.

she tsks and shakes her head. "fifteen seconds, remember?"

✧˖°

[moxfirefly]

"I'm not letting them go. They're mine. They've always been mine."

For a bestie mikey who is jealous, someone's taking readers' attention away from him?

These quotes are hard to work with XD

Ray, my beloved. Always coming in clutch 🤌

Rated Mature (suggestive themes)

Mikey felt a stirring next to him that prompted him to open his eyes. The midnight nap he’d decided on when you had sat next to him was disturbed and he wanted to groan displeased.

“Sorry Mike, I gotta use the bathroom be back in a sec.” That gentle hushed tone only served to help him drift back, almost at least. Woefully he accepted his best friend having to leave for a few minutes.

It was something of tradition at this point, falling a sleep next to you during movie nights. Mikey had wordlessly cemented the fact that he got to sit next to you and you had reinforced it by always finding your place next to him.

He took the second to stretch out, enjoying the pops of each achy limbs, patrol had been a bitch a few hours ago. He saw Leo konked on the armchair, Donnie in the kitchen making more popcorn as a sleepy April scrolled through Netflix to find something else to play.

“—Well im gonna need you in a bit to measure again, probably tomorrow too”

Raph’s voice rang from behind where he was sat on the couch. Mikey looked back to see him talking to you and holding your arm extended.

“Remind me why I’m doing this again?” He asked mocked annoyed as he used his pointer and thumb to measure your arm.

“Because I wanna win $100 bucks at work” You laughed when he moved to your other arm to do the same.

“What fucking weird job makes an ugly Christmas sweater competition?” He used both his hand to grab your waist, using it as reference for the torso of the sweater.

Mikey raised a brow ridge, why had he felt a pulse of something when he saw his brother man handling you.

“Hey if I win you’ve got $50 waiting for you, so make it as ugly as possible.” You arched your neck when he wrapped a hand around your neck and mumble something, clearly mapping out the measurements in his head.

That, yeah that felt really weird in the bottom of Mikey’s stomach. Why did Raph have to loom over you, hand around your pretty neck and smiling to himself.

“Well come by this week, I’m gonna need you while I’m making it.” He finally let go of you, and it took a second of trying to think straight to not jump Raph.

“Mikey and I are playing that new game where you romance all the hot people—“

Donnie piped in, “Baldur’s Gate.” You threw him a finger gun for the assist.

“Well ya think you can detach yourself from numb nuts for a few minutes at a time?” He asked playfully.

“Well you’ve got her measurements what more do you need, dude?” Mikey finally spoke up, making Raph and you turn towards his groggy annoyed face. “I got an idea but I gotta re-adjust or re-make whatever don’t come out right.” He spoke matter of fact, his gaze was mocking him.

“I can’t just take breaks between.” You offered to ease the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m sure Mikey can survive five minutes without ya, right buddy?” He clamped both hands on your shoulders and smiled at his youngest brother. “Man quit being handsy with her.” It came out before he could really assess what his mouth had vomited out. Under a different tone of voice it could’ve been taken playfully but this was the full opposite.

“Chill man, I ain’t stealing ya girl.” He chuckled and if Mikey could blush he would. He glared at Raph, not noticing your own blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Looks like it since you wanna keep her all week.” He was getting up now, less groggy and more peeved than anything.

“Mike—“ Your voice was gentle trying to ease the fast approaching boiling tension in the air.

“Aww, Mikey’s worried his bestie’s gonna be my bestie all week? Man just let it go.” Raph wasn’t even remotely serious poking fun at his younger brother.

“Im not letting her go. She’s mine. She’s always been mine.” He shot a deep glare at Raph, who face quickly fell upon hearing those words.

It took a few seconds for Mikey to fully comprehend what he had said and the implication behind it. His eyes went wide, landing on your own wide eyes and the blush that scattered itself further down your chest.

Fuck, what had he done?

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

First off, I absolutely adore your in-depth analysis and fantastic understanding of the Hazbin characters!! not sure how much you've touched on this topic particularly, but I'd love to hear your take on it! (esp w/ its relevance in szn 2)

How do you interpret the past dynamic between Vox and Alastor? Do you think Vox was genuine, close friends with Alastor, or were there hidden agendas of any kind? Given just how much their ideals and *everything* clash in present day, im curious yet struggling to pinpoint what exactly what MADE them acquaintances (and as close as they are implied to have been), besides solely their connection to technology and entertainment media, before their inevitable fallout. did Vox reallyyy change that much during his time in Hell? (or was there always an underlying tension between them?) (also, just, what the hell happened between these two)

Awww thank you ❤️

So, when it comes to Vox and Alastor, I think what brought them together was their ambition. Both of them crave power, though they define it differently. In my headcanon, at the beginning, Vox was more like Alastor because he didn't have enough influence to be his perfect self. Starting from nothing was hard for him because, like most capitalism lovers, he had never experienced building from scratch. Even though Alastor was simply useful to him, whatever they had was real. But it wasn’t genuine, because Vox is a narcissist, and we often attune to others perfectly. He liked Alastor, so he portrayed himself as someone Alastor would also like. In Vox's mind, this was just a way of caring for their friendship.

Additionally, Alastor is a very guarded person, so he wasn't fully genuine either. He hid things from Vox and often manipulated him because he knew how much Vox cared. Alastor cared too—he saw Vox as a perfect addition to his friend group, someone he could see as an equal. Knowing how driven and ambitious Vox is, Alastor seriously hoped they could rearrange Hell together, get rid of all the Overlords, and make the game more interesting.

The first issue that arose was Vox's greed. He wanted to expand (I wrote more about him here), but not in a way that Alastor liked. This was the first time Alastor realized that Vox might want to overthrow the ruling class just to take their place. Vox tried to explain that it was completely different—overthrowing old money would give power back to the people, creating a perfect anarcho-capitalist utopia, the ultimate survival of the fittest—something he and Alastor both wanted.

They were just two friends who started with a common goal but eventually realized they had very different ideas about making it real. Think Charles Xavier and Magneto or Dumbledore and Grindelwald. They began to notice flaws in their plan. On paper, a society where anyone can achieve high social status through determination and hard work sounds very free, very much up Alastor's alley. But upon deeper inspection, they realized that capitalism cannot exist without oppression and surveillance. It’s just a matter of whether it’s the government or corporations doing it.

Tension grew, and at some point, they couldn't stand each other. Especially when feelings came into the equation. Alastor hated that Vox loved the idea of him. He knew they were completely incompatible, and Vox would never truly love him, so it felt objectifying to know that, in Vox's mind, he wasn't even a real person, just something Vox wanted him to be. On the other hand, Vox was terribly frustrated with Alastor not playing along with his fantasy. They could have become the most powerful couple in Hell, but Alastor rejected both his advances and his ideas. However, the toxicity worked both ways—Alastor felt betrayed by Vox, so he became unnecessarily cruel and neglectful, trying to punish Vox for being who he was.

Okay, I know this take is filled with my personal headcanons, but I think that canonically their relationship followed this pattern of alliance based on common goals and mutual (mis)understanding, eventually falling apart after realizing they actually wanted very different things.

Regarding its relevance in season two, I expect that we will learn their exact backstory. I hope that after years of feeding into hate and bitterness, they will escalate this conflict until there's nothing but scorched earth. Also, I think we will learn that Alastor does, in fact, care deeply—he hates Vox fiercely but hides it better.

[hungryhungrygames]

this is really just a ramble and im not going to provide a lot of evidence to back this theory up besides what i feel in my heart. 

but i feel like president snow manipulated the games so that no tributes from district 12 ever won the games.

because seriously, how is it possible that in the all the games between the 10th and 73rd, only hammich was able to win? katniss says that it is because people don’t work in mines until they are 18 so they don’t go into the games with knowledge of their trade like many of the other districts do (18 year olds can get reaped still), learn any survival skills (guess katniss was the only one in more then 60 years), or were small due to starvation (peeta, gale, and haymitch are all described as either tall or muscular). and even if all this were true, it explains why they dont win often, but it doesnt explain why they dont win EVER. even just from dumb luck they should have won at least a handful of times like the other poorer districts, unless something (or someone) was interfering

and after reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes, i believe this even more. I think that snow hates all of the districts, but after lucy gray he has a specific vendetta again district 12 and all of the people that reside within it. snow is a very driven and ambition person, and he almost lost everything because of a girl from district 12, and i think this absolutely drove him mad 

so once he started having more control over the games, he decided that district 12 should never get even the slight benefits that come from a tribute from your district winning the games. the people of 12 could stay poor, and starve, and send 2 kids off to die every year with no hope

also, this would make sense why president snow reacted so harshly to how haymitch won the games. killing his whole family doesn’t feel like the appropriate response to haymitch using parts of the arena not as intended (maybe one would have but all of them?). and we have seen at least one other tribute use the arena not as intended explicitly (the landmines being repurposed in the 74th), and it probably have happened other times too. i think that if the really had a problem with how haymitch used the force feild, they would have killed him immediately after discovering it, i mean he did kind of imply that the forcefield must mean something/be useful.

really though i think snow was just so angry that someone from district 12 won. he probably would have intervened, but felt he didnt need to since haymitch was literally holding his guts in, and would have died even if the other tribute wasnt able to kill him

i guess snow was technically right though in his fear of district 12, eventually a tribute from there did become his down fall

[keysmashingfantasies]

Heyo! Could you maybe do a story about Chishiya and reader. Something about the both of them getting into a huge fight over something and they start avoiding each other. After a bit both come to realise they really miss each other but are to stubborn to do anything. Chishiya finally cracks and decides to tell reader but before he could they go into a game and reader avoids him until they end up getting hurt nearly dying. So he tells them how he feels but reader ends up surviving and the go back to the roof and talk and they confess and he asks her out and lots of fluff. Sorry my English is terrible.

i sure can! thank you for asking (⁠´⁠∩⁠｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡⁠∩⁠`⁠). and your english is fine, don't worry!

ps: it's a bit different from the request but i hope that's ok with you.

ps2: this is so fucking long im sorry.

potential tw: mentions overdose and lethal dosages, several medications and substances, syringes, medical inaccuracy in general. anon, if this is triggering for you please contact me again so i can write something different for you.

The thing in the new world is that there was no way of telling the time accurately. Unless you were in a timed game, there were only sunrises and sunsets to rely on. So you went by feeling. The thumping of the bass music by the pool, for instance, even when people were just starting to come back from the games, felt like it had been going on for days. It felt like you and Chishiya were stuck on a fight for about the same amount of time, his smug attitude combined with the music was enough to make your head hurt and you wanted to strangle him.

"You have to realize you can't sacrifice yourself for strangers like that", he said. You sighed for the nth time since the conversation started.

"It wasn't a sacrifice! I'm right here, am I not?", you said. Chishiya's anxiety was on an all time high, which on the outside translated to him being furious. He couldn't believe he almost lost you.

"You could not be! What, you decided to be a hero now?", his face looked calm for now, but he had red splotches on his chest and going up his neck, the vein on the side of it bulging under the hot skin, he started to move his hands around inside his pockets.

"It was a calculated risk! I knew there were no chance of me dying, Chishiya!", you were exasperated. You knew Chishiya had a habit and a hobby of treating beach residents like children but you thought you and Kuina were an exception, that you got an ounce of respect. Apparently, you were wrong.

"There's always chance of death here. If that was a calculated risk then you sure are stupid". His face slightly fell. He immediately regretted it. If your anger felt like a boiling pot on the verge of overflowing before, now it felt like a heavy block of ice on your chest. You wanted to hurt him. Chishiya was indifferent and nonchalant about a lot of things. But he despised stupidity.

"What did you just called me?", you said, your voice low. And if it wasn't for the mind numbing song being done, only to be quickly replaced with another, Chishiya was sure he wouldn't have heard you.

"You're not thinking straight. I guess I was mistaken about you and how useful you can be", he regained composure very quickly. He didn't repeat the word again, though.

"Is that what I'm good for? Being useful to you?", you voice was pure venom. Chishiya gave the fakest smirk in his life but it worked. He refused to let you win. You were fuming beneath all that ice.

"I don't know if that's all you're good for. But it's true", he shrugged his shoulders. It was your time to smile, but it did not reach your eyes, the light inside of them dimming.

"Then good luck for you and Kuina to get out of here without me. I hope you don't throw her under a bus too", you spat, leaving him behind on the roof.

-

You had to pull some strings and kiss some ass but you managed to go to a game on a whole different district than Chishiya, rather than stay close to him. If you happened to land on the same game and saw his face, you were certain that given the chance you'd kill him. That's what you told yourself when you started to avoid him after the fight a few days prior.

Honestly, as much as you were furious, you know seeing him would hurt more than refresh your anger. And you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

You landed on a game of clubs with four Beach girls and two strangers. You all entered a white room, unsettlingly bright and clean with one table and one monitor on one of the walls of what used to be a hospital. You knew Chishiya would know what to do and the thought of him made your face twist in disgust. You stood around a circular table with what looked like all sorts of medical containers. Droppers, syringes, beakers, flasks of medication arranged in a circle around a roulette. You accessed the strangers again. For the looks of it, father and son, that landed on this new world by accident. Good luck with that, you thought. At least they're in a clubs game for now.

Registration closed. Game: Pharmacy. Difficulty: 7 of clubs. In the table there are dosages of different substances in various degrees of toxicity, from harmless to lethal. The players will take turns spinning the roulette to decide what they should consume. Then, the remaining six will decide the course of action. The game objective is to finish the whole 7 containers one way or another, but they all must be consumed. If you try to empty the containers in any other way, is game over. You can lose players in this game, but only unanimous decisions will count. You will have one hour.

First, the blonde girl on the right is selected first to spin the roulette. The robotic voiced ringed again: Player one: 3500mg of cough syrup.

Then the boy. He looked about 18. Player two: 100mg of cyanide. His father started sobbing immediately, a sound you tried your best to drawn out. You understood though. The boy weighed 60kg at best.

Then one of the other girls that came with you, one with pastel blue hair, that was standing across from you in the circular table was next. Player three: 700mg of pure mercury.

Then the father was next, he sniffled and turned the roulette with a weak arm, absolutely devastated. The kid looked more concerned for his life then him. Player four: 800mg of sugar. He gave a humorless laugh and banged his fist on the table, but the boy visibly relaxed. Only in the borderlands. But you understood. If it came down to it, you'd rather see Chishiya safe than be safe yourself.

Then another girl was next. You didn't know how she wasn't cold with her sleeveless pink top. She was shaking when she turned the wheel but it most definitely looked like nerves rather than the chilly room. Player five: 60mg of tigersnake venom.

Then it was your turn. You felt like you were about to throw up, spinning the the roulette with as much force as you could, as if that'd help with anything. Player six: 24mg of tetrodotoxin. Shit, you thought.

Then the last girl, with stripey blonde highlights on her hair. She had shed a few tears. Player seven: 20mg of ricin.

You have one hour.

The father immediately panicked.

"My son is not taking anything. If the rest of you don't take it all, I'll kill you all myself", he spat.

"It's in the rules that the decisiond must be unanimous. If you kill us without taking our votes into consideration, you'll die as well", you deadpanned, only to make an expression of distaste next. You spoke like Chishiya.

"What will we do then? Just do it and then what? Wait to see if it kills us?", blue haired girl broke down, hugging herself.

"No, maybe there's another way...", the pink top girl said.

"YEAH? LIKE WHAT?", the older man yelled, promptly initiating a ruckus. They were all screaming, crying, talking over each other in the small space, the pounding headache you had on the beach was returning. If that was a calculated risk then you sure are stupid.

"EVERYONE QUIET!", you yelled. "Please, okay? Maybe... maybe there's something we're missing", you said, resting your trembling hands on the cool glass of the table.

"Like what? You know what poison you got? Tetrodotoxin. People die every year from eating that. Just a few grams and BAM!", the father was cackling. "If I'm going to lose my son then I'll make sure to kick you while you're dying".

"Dad!", the son looked horrified. This world really takes the worst of people. The father calmed down while being reprimanded by his son and the other girls.

"What did you say?", you asked. You were so angry to be asking yourself what would Chishiya do. But even with him being an absolute asshole, he was smart. You shook your head again. "...then you sure are stupid".

"I said I'll kick-"

"No, you moron. Before that", you asked.

"A few grams?", he looked genuinely confused.

"Yeah... That. It's poison but... to kill us, it needs a certain amount, right?", you said. "What if we share?"

Everyone agreed immediately, except for the father, who needed maybe 15 more minutes of persuasion. Even if by the end of it, just his son had enough patience to deal with him.

"Everything is measured", the boy said. "Maybe this is what we are supposed to do after all!", the boy was so optimistic it made you sad.

"Okay. Let's start". You took the small dropper from the table.

"We'll start with yours?", the pink girl asked.

"You're right. Let's start with the less lethal first. If we get out quick enough we can-", you took a glance at the boy and his father. "We can make ourselves puke as quick as possible. And find a pharmacy". You didn't have the heart to say you had access to a doctor in front of the two non Beach members. "Sugar first. You, are you good at math?", you asked the boy. After everything was calculated, each one of you ate the dosage of sugar as quick as possible, the overwhelming sweetness making you clench your jaw.

"Next-", you started.

"Cough syrup?", asked the ricin girl.

"Yeah, I think so", you took turns passing the beaker around, taking tentative sips to make sure the liquid was evenly distributed. If you weren't overwhelmed with the sweetness before, you sure was now.

"What now?", asked blue haired girl, her eyes going glassy and big.

"Mercury next", you said.

"100 milligrams for each?", asked the girl. "Are you sure?"

"No. But it's better than only you taking 700mg all by yourself, no?", you said, and she nodded decidedly.

After it was consumed, you looked around. "Everyone ok?", besides uneasy looks, no one had collapsed yet which you took as success for the time being. "We have to be quick now, before our body starts processing it".

-

"Take her inside! Take her inside now!", pleaded the girls, while Tatta carried your limp body on his arms to Ann's autopsy room, followed by a small mob of curious people.

Chishiya, that was on the lobby worried sick at your game taking so long blanched immediately seeing your limp body. You and the four desperate girls following Tatta covered from what it seemed splotches of your own puke. Fortunately, the militants decided to be useful for once and disperse the crowd. Chishiya, an executive member, was let in.

-

Up close it was even scarier. He was used to seeing people in these conditions at the hospital but never someone he cared about. He went in and out of consciousness it seemed, his body frozen and eyes zeroed in on your closed ones while the blue haired girl sterically tried to explain to Ann what had happened, her latex gloved fingers down your throat to make you puke more.

"This man... Poison... Convincing him... Unanimous... The son...Really sick... Two minutes... Took what was left... Saved our lives".

If Chishiya wasn't already absolutely destroyed, he definitely would be now. This was the final blow to his conscience. He insulted you, pushed you away, let you go on to a game without him or Kuina. So you strayed from his sight and now you were passed out on a table, covered in puke. Just because he was too much of a coward to just tell you he was worried because he loved you.

"She's not puking anymore. Now we just have to take care of her and wait. Tatta, take her out of here. Girls, I'll take care of you next".

"I'll take her. Tatta, I'll take her to my room", With each one of your limp arms around the neck of each man, they slowly managed to take you into the elevator until Chishiya's room's floor. He put you on the bed on your side carefully and forced himself to not even blink as much, waiting for any reaction out of you, checking your heartbeat every 10 seconds. After an hour and some crying he decided to gingerly clean you up with a moist towel, taking off your dirty clothes and rinsing your mouth delicately with water, sitting next your naked body on the bed and taking one of your hands in his, placing it on his lap and playing with your fingers, one of his thumbs pressed firmly into your pulse.

"I'm so sorry. You're not dumb. You're not dumb at all. You're just brave. Braver than me. I shouldn't have said that, I'm a coward, I should've admitted to you and myself that I loved you and spared you from this. Please wake up so I can look you in the eyes when I apologize", he looked at your naked body in the moonlight, your face looked serene despite everything. You looked like an angel. For a moment he tried to pretend you had just made love. That you were asleep dreaming of the life you'd start together out of that world. He rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his head and pressing your hand sandwiched between his on his sweaty forehead.

"...shiya", you groaned.

-

Everything hurt. Your head, your joints, your throat. Your limbs felt like they were made of lead and you had to make a conscious effort to move even a pinky. Then everything came rushing back.

"Y/N? Y/N, open your eyes. Open. Please. It's me, Chishiya", a voice you knew all too well spoke.

To the dismay of your pounding head, you opened your eyes, but even with the lights off you still felt awful.

"What are you doing here?", you slurred, coughing a bit from your raw throat. Your mouth tasted like something crawled inside it and died.

Instantly a bottle of cold water was pressed to your lips, and you tried your best to glare at Chishiya through your drowsy state while he helped you drink. He looked rough, like he hadn't slept days and had been crying a lot.

"You been crying?", you asked, voice to weak to go above a whisper.

"I was worried about you", he said, placing the bottle back on the bedside table without looking you in the eyes.

"You worried about me? Why? Thought you said I was dumb and not useful for your scheming and whatnot. What changed?", he could tell you were angry, even if your voice was monotone.

"I changed. I loved you before all the same. I just...", he paused for a moment. You opened a weak smile and Chishiya was suddenly on the verge of tears again. "I'm sorry. This was all my fault. I just-", he cupped your face.

"How is what happened to me your fault?", you asked.

"I should've been there. With you. But even when I wasn't, you made me proud. I love you", he said.

"It's not your fault. I had to go be a hero again. Not smart", you closed your eyes, the weak lighting finally getting the best of you.

"Very smart. The smartest in this whole place", he said softly.

"Besides you?", you chuckled before coughing again.

"Yeah, that", he gave you a wobbly smile you didn't see.

"Chishiya... I love you. And I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have avoided you", you said. "Come hold me please? I owe you a kiss, promise I'll pay as soon as I can brush my teeth".

Chishiya held you to his chest gingerly, kissing the top of your head. He'd never leave you out of sight again.

[med-ex]

feelin rlly idk HAPPY?? over this franchise as a whole✨

I wasn't even alive for Fallout 1 & 2 - but upon entering the world 3 years after they were released, would grow up hearing its name constantly... never did i think it would take GTA's place as my favourite video game series. Like literally never thought the weird little isometric game talked about by my older cousins would be the one.

I played Fallout 3 at the worst period of my life- it became a pure escape from graduating high school, becoming a severe alcoholic and moving off my mountain into my province's capital city. I was in love with it to the point that when I came home to my family home to visit, I would haul my xbox 360 in my backpack and strap my little tv to my back with a rope- ✨that's✨ how addicted I was to it.

It resonated with me in a way no other game series has. No, I obviously didn't grow up in the same standards as the wastes, but could resonate with foraging for food, no clean water & mess, destruction and despair everywhere you turned.

Fast forward a year or so, and I try Fallout: New Vegas. This is where it finally became my favorite series ever. I could list all the reasons, but they're similar to what you'll see all over the net; it's just amazing. I already was all "fuck the government" since I was a child but it made me think- think about the rule of authority, think about perseverance, weigh out what "right" and "wrong" truly means and the blurred line between the two.

By the time I was 21, I tried Fallout 4. It took some getting used to in the terms of its modern graphics, but I really loved how I got to experience conversations that felt like I was actually having them. I loved building the world back up and when I was brave enough to try mods- then shit got real interesting. I was already obsessed with Fallout 3 & NV but we can thank Fallout 4 for getting me into the community as a whole.

I was one of the ones to make fun of FO76- the launch was a huge part of that, but I just didn't understand how it could ever truly fit into the Fallout series. I played it for the first time when I was 2022, and now after 2 years I wholeheartedly regret shitting on it so hard. There are so many cool quests/stories and though some of them are silly seeing as it's online-based and they need to cater to that and though it's a bit strange at first, it feels so cool to be around other players adventuring the wastes + actually having to persist to build your own base, feed yourself and survive- as console commands don't exist in the same realm they used to with the earlier titles.

Now, we arrive at the airing of the first Fallout television show. I seriously thought it was gonna be shit- I just couldn't imagine them being able to do a good job but as we can see, here we are. The show is amazing and I didn't even know it was something I wanted so badly. The only real-life renditions of Fallout I've seen is that one live action trailer for 76 + cosplay- so seeing it in film, is seriously so fucking cool.

Idk guess im just gettin a little ✨sentimental✨ towards a series that has given me so many lessons, so much ability to cope with my own shit + gotten me into such a fun community filled with funny jokes, amazing art, discussions and rich lore that maybe one day could leave the video game + TV screen and become even a book.

Ty to the crew of original artists who started this back in the 90s, and thank you to the crew of artists at Bethesda in this current century who kept this game going💖

[spacexseven]

ok im finally here with the spy au stuff. sorry this took me so long i suddenly got Extremely Ill and couldnt really do much but im BACK baby.

im gonna do some more than i originally planned since i made u and the venerable budijojo wait so long so buckle up

AKUTAGAWA - ohhhh akutagawa… poor thing. this is about The Most devastating thing that could possibly happen to him. i could see him not realizing he loves darling in time just by virtue of arrogance, similar to fyodor. he doesnt think he’d ever deign to have something as silly as affection for someone like… you. preposterous. doesnt help that he has dazai’s voice in his ear at every second. but, well, here he is: stuck adoring somebody who hates him, and knowing it’s all his fault. although deep in despair, ever the devotee, he will gracefully take any punishment darling throws at him- granted they stay by his side. you might not think so, what with all the ‘stabbing you a hundred times with his jacket’ business he put you through, but you’re truly the safest by HIS side, you’ll see! no one can protect you as well as he can! you can spit at him, scream at him, hurt him, tell him all the ways you despise him; he’ll accept it all, but he won’t- *can’t* let go of you. he needs to keep you safe, it’s the only way he can make up for his sins.

DAZAI - oh christ. if you thought akutagawa had attachment issues get a load of this guy. i could see him REALLY shooting himself in the dick by also getting a bit of torture in before “killing” you- either cuz you suddenly started being cagey with information and he was approaching his deadline or just cuz he felt like it at the time. dazai is… very jarring. his emotional state is such that he feels this very suddenly and very violently, and his demeanor is very dependent on what he’s feeling. this is all to say that when you and dazai meet again, the version of dazai you knew- the manipulative nihilist who kissed your cheek within the same hour he broke all your fingers with a pair of pliers- is all but gone. he’s been replaced with some sopping wet cat of a man who looks honest-to-god shattered at your rejections. and he really IS like a pet cat who just realized hes in trouble, or maybe more of a stray who learned the hard way that people stop feeding you after you maul them. anything he can think of to get even a SECOND of your affection he’ll do, and i do mean anything. he’ll debase himself, scream, cry, beg, kill, anything he thinks will do the job. just please please please please PLEASE dont run away from him he loves you so much please stay he needs you please….

CHUUYA - i think hes the least likely to make this mistake just cuz he seems pretty self-possessed, but i could also see him getting very swept up in the little competition he made up in his head and not thinking his actions through very well. also DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL he’s gonna be the LAST guy to admit his feelings in this circumstance, just cuz admitting it would be much too painful so his brain just rejects it. i mean, the fella kicked you so hard into the wall it made a crater, he can STILL hear the echoes of your bones crunching in his head every time he closes his eyes, thats HARDLY the actions of a man in love. besides, even if you DID somehow survive that, youd never take him back (not that he wants that lol no way) so it’s not even worth thinking about. theres gonna be a lot of waking up from a drunken stupor only to find himself in your old apartment or surrounded by your possessions in a nest and some extremely pitying glances from kouyou before he lets himself accept what he feels and what he did. any peace he manages to make with this over time will immediately shatter what he hears that youve been spotted wandering around the city. our boy is going off the deep end instantly. 

FYODOR -it doesn’t really come as a shock that fyodor didn’t realize his feelings for you til pretty late in the game, given that he’s a black hole where emotions go to die. UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT i can very easily see fyodor feeling guilt over the whole Trying To Kill His Darling debacle, its just that he doesnt really have any kind of handle on this feeling at all. all he can process is that you’re scared of him/mad at him and this makes him feel this Mysterious Bad Feeling™ that he doesnt know what to do with. it occurs to him that he could very easily just make you compliant with him by fiddling with your brain like he did to ivan, but this makes the Bad Feeling worse. he doesnt want you to be a smiling puppet, he wants YOU, as strange as this desire is to him. all the little things used to do that had gotten on his nerves or perplexed him he now feels this alien yearning for. he feels this full body frost whenever he hears you crying through the door of your (cell) room, the distinct sensation of oncoming sickness. he finds himself very hesitant to put his hands on you, or even enter your line of sight out of fear of disturbing and upsetting you. odd. expect him to creepily watch you sleep a lot after he kidnaps you, enjoying seeing your face at peace for once. 

GOGOL - clown boy has established he feels guilt over things as much as the next guy, so ohhh BOY is he not gonna handle this too good. honestly, i could see his guilt overwhelming him to the point where he refuses to kidnap you or approach you again at all. he had his chance and made his choice, best to let his birdie be free now, yes? of course, he doesnt let you go TOTALLY. he has his eye on you as often as his schedule will allow. definitely dons disguise after disguise as an excuse to get close to you, maybe even makes up a persona that works at a shop you frequent so he gets to talk to you every day. eventually his mind might fray to the point where he cant STAND it anymore and NEEDS to get you back no matter what, especially if he insists on prolonged exposure to you, but hed probably try to avoid upsetting you as much as he can. youll give in eventually, hes going to be the only person youre ever going to be close to again, after all, so theres no need to force anything. he can convince you of his sincerity, hes sure of it.

also bonus i think this concept would also work really well with jouno what do you think. couldnt think of anything for kouyou sorry :/

- 🩹

thank you so much for all your effort behind this :> hope you're feeling better now!! i tried to write fyodor a little differently for you so. what do you think eheh :> the linked words take you to the original spy au posts for those characters! i considered writing for jouno but this post is way too long already for an ask lol

cw: yandere characters (akutagawa, dazai, chuuya, fyodor, nikolai), obsessive behavior, violence, forced relationships, stalking, manipulation, mentions of torture/interrogations, deceit, imprisonment (not proofread)

akutagawa is constantly tormented with his feelings for you. he knows he doesn't have the time to be in love, since he has more important things to do like make dazai recognize him, but he doesn't have a handle on himself. he can't put a lid on the wonderfully complex things he feels for you, and that's why it manifests the way it did. besides, he can't imagine actually tolerating, let alone liking, you, with all your kindness and concern that was long beaten out of him.

you've always been so kind to him, looking out for him, talking to him, treating him like anyone else. but all he could do in response was nod to your questions. akutagawa himself hasn't been shown a lot of affection so his way of showing his feelings is...awkward. he didn't know how to be friendly or be loved, but you didn't seem to care. and then when he finally, finally identified the cause of his palpitating heart and distracted mind, when he finally came to terms with what he felt, everything went wrong. you weren't supposed to find out, and you weren't supposed to get hurt. you weren't supposed to hate him, even if everyone else did.

he had been prepared to face the anger from his coworkers when they found out he fell for the enemy, but he wasn't planning on you finding out the way you did. and the look on your face, the hatred and the betrayal, it broke him. akutagawa, having lost everything already, grovels at your feet. he's desperate for another chance, but he doesn't dare complain, not when you ignore him and scorn him, not when you refuse to even acknowledge him.

he has hope, though, that one day you'd realize he only wanted to keep you safe. he only wants to show you that he's worth keeping around. you saved him before, and he only wanted to repay the favor forever. your organization was down and yokohama was far from safe, but with akutagawa by your side, nobody would dare touch a hair on your head.

dazai well, it's established he hates you from the moment he was assigned the spying mission. of course he hates you and the dates you planned out and the meals you make and the hand holding and the kissing and the...warmth he never gets elsewhere...and...the adoring way you look at him...and....and...

what was he thinking? you were just a target!

dazai has so many dilemmas during this mission because he's conflicted with hating you for being so damn annoying and feeling something because you're head over heels for an asshole like him, but let's say he pushes down the growing good he feels for you, shoves it away and sticks with hating you constantly for the purpose of this scenario. when the gig's up and you find out he was using you to get intel, there's no point in pretending anymore. no point in going along with your affectionate touches and asking about your day.

dazai has to rely on his usual, faithful method of getting intel—interrogation. he pretends like he doesn't care about hurting your feelings, pretends like it's just another job and it doesn't affect him if you're scared or crying. he doesn't care what you think of him now, of course not.

but right after it's all done, he's drowning in regret. he can't even remember what you told him, he just wants to take it all back. he scared you terribly, he knows he probably traumatized you and he can't undo it anymore. he tries, though, of course he does. at one point you were hopelessly infatuated with him despite how mean he was, so if he was the complete opposite now, you'd definitely look back at him, right? you'll be satisfied seeing him suffer for your sake, right? he'll happily beg for your forgiveness and debase himself if you'd feel even a little satisfied. if there's no way for you to forgive him, then he'll just have to go all out. he'll pull out all the stops and do everything in his power.

(i think dazai would definitely kick into the typical "i'll kill for you" yandere thing around here, hoping that by killing your enemies you'd appreciate him. he can't stand knowing other people were around you, people you had no reason to hate unlike him. what if you liked them instead? you liked dazai despite his shortcomings, so you could also fall for someone else that wasn't him. he couldn't have that)

chuuya (hehehe ive been waiting for this) feels the most guilt out of everyone in this list. i find it hard to imagine him actually hurting darling even if it's for the pm, like you said, he has the most self-control. in the original post of spy au! chuuya, he's completely obsessed with you and ends up scaring you off since you realize something's off, which leads to him finding your new place and what not. so i'll use the premise of him feeling guilty for scaring you and you kinda hating him for being a creep :>

he can't bring himself to hurt you, so knowing he's frightened you, knowing you hate him for what he believed was showing concern for you because he loved you, it shattered him. he didn't mean for you to think that he had it out for you or that he was going to kill you just because he worked for the enemy organization. he loved you and he only wanted you to be safe. he only wanted to get to know you so you'd love him back.

he allows himself to suffer, drinking a dangerous amount almost every night, staying in the apartment you used to instead of his own, looking at all the things he bought you and imagining you using them. it's pathetic to see how he's turned into a helpless, lovesick fool that can't even get you to look twice at him anymore. he tries to throw away the feelings he had, he avoids any mention of you and drowns himself in work and alcohol, but it's only a matter of time before the two of you cross paths again and he's unable to hold back from breaking down and begging you to take him back.

since i don't have a planned out story for fyodor in this spy au i'll make it up as i go. probably some info stealing for the doa, he can't exactly ask anyone else to go. bram is...in an awkward state, kamui is far too much of a public figure, sigma is too busy with the casino, and nikolai...there's no guarantee he won't just kill you, and fyodor can't have that, not after all his efforts to track you down and choose you for his mission. you should be honored, really, that he's giving you such an important role in his plans. maybe he could even convince you to join his side and completely sell out your organization.

everyone knows fyodor would be successful in his mission, and they know he'd get you wrapped around his finger very quickly. of course you don't think there's a single suspicious thing about this strange man who suddenly walked through the doors of your life and is somehow always around you and wow he's so nice and wow, isn't this moving too fast? but fyodor has that way of reassuring you with a smile and gentle strokes that there was nothing to worry about, and who were you to question him then?

you try to make him happy. he's always a bit emotionless, always a neutral expression on his face so you can't really tell if he's upset or happy when you greet him with a kiss. or is that surprise on his face? you don't know if he likes you holding his hand or if he wants to hear about your day, but one reassuring squeeze of the hand and an acknowledging hum sends you happily continuing your earlier actions. fyodor is a little surprised by your efforts to make him feel included. he's used to silence except for nikolai's random interruptions, but having you constantly by his side isn't the worst. compared to the miserable people in the world, you weren't nearly as unbearable for him.

fyodor is mostly surprised by how disappointed you look when it all blows over, and his identity is revealed. you're not disappointed at him, but at yourself for falling for a lie, and causing your coworkers deaths. he was too good to be true, you think, and you blame yourself for falling for his tricks. trust one charming stranger, and look where that got you? in some obscure prison cell and subjected to cruel questioning.

it's not very satisfying seeing you cry and rub at your red eyes. it's far from nice when you're ignoring him and boiling with resentment. and well, he shouldn't care. you had one purpose in his plan and it was now fulfilled. you should be happy you had a chance to help out in the making of fyodor's goals, but here you were sobbing so uncontrollably. he's a little uncomfortable seeing you look so devastated, and he's uneasy now that you don't tell him anything anymore. it's unfamiliarity that haunts him because you've changed, and not for the better. if he sees you opening up around sigma, who was the most ordinary person in the building, he's a little troubled by it, but you glaring at him with burning hatred is even worse than seeing you talk to someone else, so he just leaves the room.

despite the unhelpful suggestions he gets from the rest, he doesn't want you to lose your mind like ivan, even if the latter claims he isn't unhappy anymore. watching you when you sleep1!! yes, the only time he feels he can be around you now, when you're unaware of his presence. he doesn't like it, doesn't like having to walk on eggshells and hide from you like he was in the wrong. which he shouldn't be. he was only saving you from that hellhole and that shitty organization that never stood a chance against him. if he left you back there, you'd be dead. shouldn't you be grateful?

considering nikolai is like, the master of disguises, this mission should have been a piece of cake. get intel, and then he can do whatever he wants to you and your friends. this was a fun break for him! he was asked to join the company you worked for (a front for the organization) as a new hire and gather all the intel he could, but he didn't think he'd get attacked to anyone on the job.

you were surprisingly excited to guide him around the office, taking the senior role with pride. nikolai doesn't let it slip that he doesn't care about what you do or where the break room is, so he happily follows you around and shares your enthusiasm. you're all friendly and helpful to him, and he doesn't mind at all but it was a little annoying when he was trying to bug a meeting room and you just came around the corner, insisting he check out the new coffee machine. well, despite how irritating it got, he couldn't bring himself to dislike you for it.

and really, he can't help but tease you a little, watching the startled expression when he stares at you a little too coldly for a little too long, or lets it casually slip that he knew about the organization, though he's a little surprised by how quickly you bounce back to your usual carefree manner. oh, but the fun hadn't started yet! he was mostly looking forward, to the after. he couldn't wait to see your expression when you realize you've been cheated all along, and how you were going to die by his hands—

—but when the day came, it wasn't even a little satisfying to see you crumble. he didn't expect to be consumed entirely with guilt when he sees you tear up, hurt in your eyes. something inside him aches; he knows he's not invulnerable to feeling like this, but this intensity of emotion was new. he can't bear to look at you, facing the horror etched into your face at the sight of him, so he just disappears into his coat, leaving you somewhere far away from the devastation.

despite how much he yearns to be free he can't let you experience the same, unable to stop thinking about you. he checks in on you from time to time, hoping you'd try seeking him out. after all, he was the only other person who knew what happened, and you couldn't rely on anyone like you could on him. he knew you better than anyone else, all your secrets and your thoughts, and you'd need him by your side.

he'll definitely give into his urges and kidnap you eventually. he can't bear to be away from you, not after he knows you're probably feeling lonely, not knowing anyone else who could understand you. well, you probably didn't want to see the man who ruined your life, but it wasn't like you had many options. he's sorry that he hurt you, really! nikolai promises to be good, to go back to being the guy you befriended, but only if you promise to stay by his side.

[gamerism]

iw finale ramble incoming....

im seeing a lot of negativity about the end of IW (from complaints abt the final boss theme being subpar which imo...get better taste, to the legitimate criticism of how frustrating it is that they didn't show the reunion between kiryu and haruka)

but i think something that's being overlooked is kiryu's final speech as he collapses on top of ebina...

how it ties everything together. this to me calls back to ichiban's plea to kiryu to survive this from the start of the chapter, and kiryu keeping that promise (i feared he wouldn't).

and for for the first time ever, i really feel like i truly understand kiryu's reasoning for never crossing the line. sure i get that he just has no taste for killing, but never being pushed over that line (well except very nearly in 2016) speaks to a deeper belief he holds.

this moment really shows us exactly how kiryu and ichiban share something integral in their outlook on the world. as it mirrors ichiban's reasoning for helping all of the ex-yakuza after the dissolution.

and more than anything else this moment felt like pay-off, kiryu had already refused cancer treatment before this game even began, and throughout we've seen people try to navigate how to get him to reconsider without overstepping boundries. but in the end, all they had to do, all nanba had to do, was be there. kiryu decides not to throw his life away, he trusts others enough to lean on them a little, he even, i assume though it's mildly ambiguous, changes his mind about treatment. and this is the moment we see it, and know why.

[ithaquasbbg]

A sequel to my pre-manor fic from two days ago.. bc I left it in a good-ish place to continue! Yipee. If this is the first fic you find of the two.. go look at “Love me again”- which should be linked on a masterlist :)) could also be maybe read separately.

A broken man - Ithaqua x reader

Pairing: Post-oletus manor! Ithaqua x reader

Tw: Attempted self harm, Traumatic flashbacks, mentions of physical violence (especially referring to the matches), disordered eating mentality, self dehumanizing (if that makes sense?)

Ithaqua slowly walks down an all too familiar path, thinking about his mother and you. How could the memories ever leave his mind? He can remember the way you passed in his arms and he had never noticed. He can still remember your face, the one he was promised to see again should he have survived those god forsaken games. Though, he finds himself shaking violently the moment he opens the door to his cottage, barely able to even step foot inside.

He hears the sound of talking that suddenly stops when the door opens, as a woman slowly walks towards the door of the cottage, bearing the same long red hair his mother had so long ago. “…Ithaqua?” Her eyes widen as she stares at him. It seemed his pain was worth it in that moment, for his mother to have forgotten all about the harm his twin had inflicted upon her.

Ithaqua nods, flinching as his mother quickly pulls him in to her embrace. He’s unsure if he should panic at the feeling of touch once again, especially after the long period he spent in that god forsaken manor. His heart shatters the moment he looks into his mothers eyes, realizing that even now that he had inflicted traumas upon himself for her to forget her own, she would still be worried for him, even if his own monstrous reflection was the very thing that caused this.

“(Name), come here!” Mother yells, the sounds of your footsteps running down the hall as you come to the entryway, staring up at Ithaqua as tears fill your eyes. For you, the tears were those of joy. But for Ithaqua, the moment he sees you crying like he had the day of your death, he’s reminded of how badly he failed you. That very moment, the walls around him crumble as he starts wailing, unable to hold back the regret and fear he had felt for years. The regret of not being able to save you, and the fear that you or his mother would despise him the moment he returned from the manor.

Slowly, you walk to Ithaqua and pull him as close as he’ll allow, feeling the way he shakes at the touch, as if something had happened. It was strange, the way you had no memory of the day he had suddenly disappeared, but you remembered being heartbroken, screaming his name desperately with his mother. Though something about these memories felt fabricated to you, and perhaps to him as well.

After trying and failing to calm Ithaqua down, you and his mother bring him back to his bedroom and give him some privacy, hoping that would help. But within a few minutes, you hear the sound of glass shattering and rush to his room, seeing him on the ground in the middle of scattered mirror shards, holding a sharp piece of glass up to his own eye. “Ithaqua!” The way you take the glass from him is almost instinctual, keeping him from harming himself any further than he could have done already.

“What is this about?” You ask, looking at him and finally getting a good look at his face before he looks away. He looks exhausted and thinner than you remember, the once lovely shine he had in his eyes gone, replaced with a full blue color, only fear visible in those once gorgeous eyes of his. “…Im a monster” he whispers, choking back sobs while staring at the shards around him. “It’s my fault, (Name), it’s all my fault”

Not knowing how to comfort him, you simply put a hand on his trembling shoulder, watching as he flinches, almost expecting something to hit him. When he realizes you won’t do that, he looks back at you with widened eyes, tears still falling as he tries to understand why he’s being treated so gently after so long of being viewed as nothing but a monster.

“Ithaqua.. what happened to you?” There’s a moment of silence before he whispers a response, his voice much more shrill than its usual tone. “I took a deal, to help you.. they had me do.. terrible.. things to people and-” He’s unable to continue speaking, gagging at the way he remembers it all, the screams of the people he hunted, the way they’d hit him while trying to get away, how he had become nothing but a monster to almost everyone else in his world in that time. “I can’t say it..”

You slowly grab his hand, planting a kiss along his knuckles as he watches you closely, almost unsure if he can even trust you in this situation. “You are not a monster, my love, you’re anything but a monster to me.” Ithaqua simply frowns and shuts his eyes, holding back tears. “You don’t understand, (name)! I’m going to hurt you, that’s all I’ve been able to do-” he stops mid sentence, voice unable to form coherent sentences as he starts sobbing once again, his shaking frame clinging into yours as if it was a life line.

Slowly, you lift your hand and run it through his hair as he used to. For a moment, he tenses up before relaxing into your touch, continuing to cry into your shoulder. “I’ve got you, darling, you’re safe in my arms.” Ithaqua seems comforted by this as he nods, a quiet sound resonating from his throat as he pushes his still trembling frame into yours, his sobs quieting down as he looks up at your face,

After hours of him sitting in your arms, you have his mother help you carry him into bed, pulling him into you as you keep him tight, kissing his forehead. “I love him so much, (name).” His mother slowly changes him into cleaner clothing, unknown bruises and cuts littering his entire body, frail to the point he looks as if he might break. “It hurts so badly to see my little boy like this..” Tears run down her face as she plants a kiss on her sons cheek. “I’m worried he’ll never be the same person he used to be..”

You tried to reassure her before she went to bed that night, though hours later you wake up to hear him in the bathroom, violently ill. “Ithaqua..?” You run your eyes as you get up, trying to open the door, which to your relief was left unlocked. In front of you, sits the young man, too weak from the purging to lift his head. Instead, all you get is a short hum in response to your voice, seeing his eyes peeking over at you, welling up with tears as you kneel next to him, gently pulling his hair back, knowing there was not much you could do at the moment other than attempt to distract him from whatever nightmare he had.

“Do you remember when we met, Ithaqua?” You ask, seeing him nod slowly as his trembling slows. “The way you’d always go out of your way to help every little animal or child you’d see.. that’s why I fell in love with you.” Ithaqua bites his lip, staring down at the floor. “I’m not like that anymore, (name).” He whispers, his voice cracking as he laughs sadly, only to be cut off by you kissing his forehead once again. “If you were the monster you say you were, Ithaqua, I doubt you’d care this much.”

You slowly pick him up and run a warm bath, helping him scrub his bruised body as he watches you, finding himself longing for more and more of your touch as he leans into your hands, a tiny smile forming on his face for the first time since that night.. “I’ll never leave your side, just like you’ve never left mine, I promise.” Ithaquas eyes widen as he hums. It seems that even after being broken down for years, you and mother still loved him. This makes him feel as if everything was worth it, just to see you get a second chance at living along with his mother, to be held in your arms as you grow old together, the way he had always wished it to be.

[teejvee]

Decided to write out a scene I'll be animating for a sort of trailer for The Realm Chronicles. The parallels between Shad and his great something or other grandchild Aurora hurt me. Let's even play a little game! Which character in this will be the suprise death?

Story starts after the break.

Shad stares out the window, his eyes tight. His hand is thumbing his sword, he is not well. An aid walks into the room, standing at attention until Shad speaks.

"Talk." He says, glancing away from the window and at them. The woman looks as scarred as Shad- maybe more.

"Irene's armies have breached the inner walls, sir. It will not be long before she is here. Your family have been successfully smuggled out ofthe city. Menphia and Enki have them now." Shad trusted Enki with his life. Enki was his brother in every sense of the word. He did not trust Menphia. She had been the one to originally give him the scar across his neck. His hand comes up, rubbing against his neck a little, almost as if he was remembering what had happened.

"Then this will be the last stand. Irene will be the one to kill me, I suppose. Or maybe she'll leave the deed to that whore of a man she calls a friend." He grits his teeth thinking about Esmond. He hates Esmond "Thank you for serving me so well, Svanka. You have been one of the best second hands I could have." Svanka nods, eyes battle worn, but a soft smile on her face.

"I would go down fighting for you, my lord."

-

"I would go down fighting for you, my lord." She had heard that line before. Her chest aches as she looks back out at Alexander and his forces. Would Gabriel go down fighting for her? Would Tobias? Would she ever see her son again? How many people would have to die before Alexander felt 'satisfied'?

Aurora suddenly feels sick, like everything was sickingly clicking into place- and she fucking hated it. Why was it clicking into place? Why did it feel like everything had happened before? Why did-

"Aurora?" She swallows her fear, hardening her face. She couldn't look scared. These were her people. They had stayed behind to fight for and with her. Tobias was looking at her worried, and Aurora straightens up, thumbing her sword- a nervous trait she'd had since she was a kid. She would be okay. Everything was going to be fine. Alexander wasnt going to get away with this.

"Thank you for serving me, Tobias, Gabriel. You two are the best guards a woman could ever ask for." Gabriel- as if he could sense her fear- gives her a small, calm smile. Her tail twitches, almost like it was forcing her body to calm.

"And we'll continue to serve you, my lord." Gabriel replies first, face flickerinng into annoyance when Tobias shoves past him.

"You can't get rid of us that easy!" Tobias grins, his colourless eyes staring vaugly in her direction. "Trust me, we're harder to take down." The aching finally calms, and she feels warmth spread through her chest.

They would get out of this battle, and survive till the end.

I love emotionally destroying my characters. Isn't this fun?? Guys? Guys wait why do you have the pitchforks out- WAIT WAIT DONT BURN ME AT THE STAKE IM SORRY

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

I don't know if this has been asked or if you've talked about it, - and I do apologize for any clumsiness in how I sound - but do you think Ada would have any complicated feelings regarding how she's been objectified, sexually or otherwise, in-universe, whether it's by someone like Simmons, people she's worked for etc?

i'm gonna ramble a bit here so sorry in advance lol-

i think that the trauma she experienced from simmons is one that's glossed over a lot. especially the people who are like AdA doEsNt hAve AnY tRaUmA

people are SO FUCKING QUICK to baby leon, but if it's a woman- oh NOOO she doesn't deserve the same thing

one of my major gripes with a lot of people who "aren't happy with ada's redesign" (characterization, voice, style) etc. (ALSO YOU CAN GO PLAY THE OLD GAMES BTW THEY STILL EXIST. ) bother me a lot

it's 2023. can we not have ada be an actual woman character with likes/desires/dislikes/flaws/and a personality that isn't just "sexy asian spy lady" like have we regressed so much that when capcom literally designed ada to be almost completely covered from her neck down was a way to have her be less sexualized? (btw for the people mad about that, she still has her alt outfit!!! so stfu!!!)

also she was still sexy af??? she doesn't need to be literally naked for her to be sexy. (also there needs to be more talk about consent imo cause i really feel like the way people talk about ada makes me think they do not understand consent)

ada's always used her sex appeal in varying degrees in the games/movies. but it was always to her advantage (almost in a way so that she wasn't objectified unless she wanted it that way)

in regards to her damnation outfit and her re6 outfit, which i argue are still sexy but not as revealing as her re4 outfit. i think that was also capcom in a way to modernize her outfits but still have it be her. like okay i know people love her og re4 outfit, but it makes NO SENSE. and because of it, it's one of my least favourite outfits because of how impractical it is. i don't mind her re4r alt outfit though, it's still fuckin hot but yeah (i still think the og re4 dress is really cunty tho skfbsfjs it's good, it's just not my favourite, og re2 is also one of my least faves, the flats and the dress + leggings combo)

also yeah to go back to her trauma, i really wish we saw what she felt at the end of re2r, especially if she thought she was going to die. like- how traumatic is that. the way she also fell, but took the time to comfort leon before dropping. SHE DIDN'T CARE THAT SHE WAS GONNA FALL, SHE COMFORTED LEON FIRST

we still don't know if she knew that she was going to be fine or not. if she fell into water (which i hc more cause she's not seen with a hookshot prior so i don't really hc that she had it the whole time.)

i see that as a common hc that she had one that wesker gave her so that she could get out and survive the fall, but i just legit think she fucking fell. landed into water or something that made it so she was okay. and then figured out how to get out later. (with the help of wesker)

but yeah i do not hc the hook shoot reason.

ANYWAYS MAYBE WE'LL GET TO SEE IT??? SEPARATE WAYS INTRO??? PLEASE??????

also it's clear to me that simmons was fucking obsessed with her and she had to literally break ties with him because he was fucking insane, she knew he was a lost cause. i don't think she'd even entertain him at all, to work with him, so it seemed as she cut ties as soon as she could. i do think that he harassed her a lot, but it's also probably traumatic when she discovers that simmons killed hundreds of women to try and clone ada.

uh im eepy but i'll talk about this more later maybe lol

[husky-studies]

Helloooo!

I read your Clara & Brother figure reader headcannons (not who requested them, as I'm sure you can surmise), and I found them absolutely adorable!

I was wondering if I could maybe request a sort of... sequel, of sorts to that?

like, a mix, part-headcannon part-drabble one-shot type thing set during Clara's quest line in the game. Like, what could possible be different with Big Bro's presence, what interactions between them and the Astral Express crew could be like. That sorta thing.

It's 100% if you don't want to do this though! I get that I might be asking a bit much lol

Meeting the Crew

Concept: the reader meets the astral express crew (March, Dan Heng, and Trailblazer)

Character(s): astral express crew, clara, mentions of svarog; pascal, as the previous request its still male reader

Warning(s): none but the reader's relationship with everyone is strictly platonic

Note(s): HELLO ANON, GLAD YOU LIKE IT. Im not sure which part of the quest you were talking about but i wrote the one where they were in the Great Mine. I HOPE YOU ENJOY

-You were just accompanying Clara and Svarog in the mines along witb a few other Automatons

-They were talking about something, you weren't really paying attention to them

-All you really knew was that Clara wanted Svarog to help the conflict between the vagrants and miners

-It was then you feel another presence with you, you looked back and saw some people

-Seele was one of them, and then there were other people with her. One seemed like someone from The Overworld. The other three looks like they weren't even from anywhere on Belobog

"Svarog! We haven't settled our final score." Seele said as her and the group are approaching us. I stood beside Clara, silently watching them. "Seele, subordinate to Wildfire... Your resistance is futile. The result of my calculation is unequivocal. Remaining in the Underworld is the optimal strategy for survival." Svarog said, bringing out his calculations yet again. Seele sighed. "This again... Calculation results, survival strategies... I haven't got time for your thesis. Withdraw your forces, or i'll lose my temper." Seele warned. Svarog didn't take it to granted, instead opted to tell Clara about how unavoidable division and conflict is. "But Mr. Svarog..." Before Clara could continue, I finished her sentences for her. "Didn't you say you wanted to protect the people in the Underworld? Well with the conflict currently brewing in here, it could go for the worse and the Underworld would be in a much more haywire situation than now, Mr Svarog." Clara nodded at that as well, I'm not sure if she understands but at least she's trying. "Big brother is here as well huh..." Seele muttered while looking at you. "Big brother? He's Clara's big brother?" March asked.

-A few more exchanged of words, of course the group and Svarog engage into a fight

-Svarog doesn't allow you to engage into it, but rather to stay by Clara's side

-After the whole fighting subdued, some of the crew asked Seele more about you and Seele, albeit a bit aggressive as usual, told them

-March and the Trailblazer felt bad about your missing limb. Although Trailblazer thought it makes you look cooler

-Dan Heng finds you tough for going this far with a missing limb. He also finds your cybernetic arm cool 👍

Tag(s): none

[ultra-raging-ghost]

op the best thing your parents can do is get the divorce bless, im sorry about the fighting :( i get you it's the WORST but at least you got to play a cool game🔥🔥 now cmon spill some batjokes go go go

this is the FUNNIEST ask to get without context and i feel like im finally living up to the expectations of an ao3 author, also ty anon i was just super fucking stressed, i got an hour of sleep sunday night/monday morning and then when i was at my friends place i crashed really hard and slept for 14 hours straight and it really helped but anyway okay BATJOKES

okay so i played both seasons i dont have a pc myself but my friend does and they have both seasons and brooooo..... i played the vigilante joker route and i loved it

i sacrificed the FUCK out of catwoman im ngl.... my friend was so surprised but dude i was SO DOWN BAD FOR JOHN!!!!!! IDGAF !!! i was so down bad for john the whole time dude and at the end it was like "oh you were manipulating him into thinking you liked him to get info" NO!!!! I WANTED TO FUCK HIM!!!!!!!

when harley debuted i chose the option of asking john if he was in love with me AND HIS ASS SAID NO BUT ISTG HE WAS IN DENIAL!!! PURELY BECAUSE HE BELIEVED HARLEY TO BE HIS SOULMATE, SHE HIT HIM SHE DOESNT DESERVE HIM LIKE I DO !!!!!

like at some point with catwoman i chose something like against her for john and i was in the MINORITY like it was a 95%/5% Ratio and i was in the 5% and i do NOT regret that shit ‼

otherwise aside from my mental illness about batjokes i had a lot of unpopular opinions according to the peanut gallery (my irl who was watching me play it) like im ngl i gave up batman to keep alfred like HES OUR DAD???? THATS OUR DAD RIGHT THERE AND HIS POINTS WERE VALID, IMMA LISTEN TO HIM HES SMART IDK.....

Otherwise dude... i felt SO bad for harvey (2face)!!!!!! aside from his main storyline (i was very merciful and understanding with him, actually i saved him over catwoman in that one scene so his face didnt get fucked up just his arm in the fire) i read his file on the gotham news reports and dude..... like everything surrounding him is just SO SAD

Also i cannot say this enough tbh i side with mr. freeze every time.... i may be a sucker for romance but that man was trying his hardest to save his wife and from what ive seen he does that in every iteration of batman, like he becomes a villain and gets into illegal shit because his wifes sick and idk man..... like even if he is a villain i really empathize with him??? in the playthrough i offered to keep his wife safe and alive and i took mercy on him when he got infected with the virus and i froze him, like i have confidence in him idk.... i know he probably died bc it turned out the reason the riddler survived was because of the cure that also made him go insane but like my fingers are CROSSED!!!!!

also will say the only thing id change was i was kinda iffy about taking that selfie with john at the funeral, like i didnt do it but idk..... afterwards i thought abt taking that back like dude i NEVER WRONGED that man!!!!!! he was my POOKIE!!!!!! and i lowkey feel like him going crazy in the vigilante route was pushed for by the writers bc it felt a lil.... idk..... like forced but i get it its part of the story line......./silly

my friend played the villain!joker route and from what ive heard its EVEN GAYER and they let me watch them play the last 15 minutes of the villain route so i could see how differently they handled selina and that doll scene was kinda.... idkkkk 👀 like heyyyyy/f

i also heard theres a line from harley in the villain joker route about how he could never get over me and how john always liked me better than her which was SO satisfying because i made batman so jealous over her and john hanging out like im ngl i was so up harleys ass in s2

OH OH other thing id change, i wouldnt sip from harleys slushie, i didnt understand why she was offering it to me but now that i know i wouldnt take it ngl, making john jealous was not worth that slushie !!!!!

uhhh thats all, ty anon :D

[haunted-xander]

She was hungry- no, scratch that, she was starving. And tired. She felt about ready to collapse any moment now. Sadly, it's not as easy to find safe spaces for rest or edible foods as it is in video games. At least those games have taught her a few tips for survival.

The sound of screaming and crying nearby snap her out of her thoughts, alerting her to danger. The sound seems to be coming from the abandoned grocery store up ahead. I guess someone was looking for food and got in trouble... Not wasting any more time, she quickly dashed towards the grocery store to see what's going on.

Standing in front of the pried open doors, she heard a vaugely familiar voice cry out. "I-I-I'm sorry! I d-didn't mean t-to get in the way! I-I'll leave and I promise n-not to tell anyone, s-so please let me go!" Gruff, unstable laughter burst at the poor victims plead for mercy. "AHAHAHA you really think we're just gonna let a delectible little coward like you go? I don't give a shit about you tellin' anybody about us, it's not like I can't handle some weak-ass bastards." The scraping of metal pipes dragging across the floor was almost enough to make her cover her ears, but the sound of a body scurrying backwards and hitting the wall kept her alert.

"W-what do you want from me then?! I don't have anything to give you, no money, no food, no nothing! J-just let *sob* m-me go alre-ready" The victim broke out into loud sobs, no longer able to hold back the tears. "What, you cryin' already? Man, what a total wuss! If this is all it takes to get 'im crying his eyes out, then he won't even last a minute of what I've got planned!" One of the attackers cracked his knuckles, preparing to grab and restrain the victim.

Having had enough of this harrassment, Chiaki grabbed the pipe holding the doors open and rushed inside the store, quickly hitting the nearest attacker over the head and knocked him unconscious. The two other attackers turned to her, but before they could ready themselves to strike, she kicked one of their legs in and wacked the pipe into the others abdomen. She then hit them over their heads as well to make sure they didn't get up.

The victim -who she could now identify as Ryota Mitarai- looked up at her with a shocked yet hopeful expression. "N-Na-Nanami-san...?" A small smile graced her face, but quickly switched back to a determined look. "...Wait a moment. We shouldn't start talking until these guys are properly taken care of." Chiaki gestured to the unconscious attackers, hoping Ryota would understand what she meant. When he gave a nod in reply, she glanced around the store for... "...Hey hey, Mitarai-kun. ...You don't have any rope or anything on you, do you?" Surprised for a moment, he thought for a second, "A-ah, um, n-no I don't have any on me... B-but! I-I saw some down the aisle on the... l-left, I think." Nodding her thanks, Chiaki went down the mentioned aisle and quickly located the ropes. Taking a few with her, she hurried back to the entrance and tied up the attackers.

"...Yep, that should do. Now they can't cause more trouble even if they wake up." She turned back to Ryota, who she noticed was still shaking despite being much calmer than earlier. "...So, Mitarai-kun. It's been a while, hasn't it? It's good to see you again. ...Even if the circumstances could be better."

"Y-yeah... It's good to see you too... Nanami-san." Awkward silence filled the room, as neither knew what to say to the other. If this where a visual novel, my dialouge options might be something like... [ Comfort: Hey, it'll be okay. I'll protect you! ] Or... [ Casual: What a way to start a class reunion, right? ] Or maybe... [ Serious: We should go gather some food. It's gonna be tough out there, but at least we've got each other now, right? ] ...If only I knew Mitarai-kun better...

The growling of her stomach snapped her out of her thoughts. "...Well, I guess we should get some food first, huh?" Mitarai finally stood up from the wall and approached her. "Y-yeah, I guess we should." Ryota Mitarai has joined your party!