#bard stories

[frenchvani11a]

Another dnd story

Dm: Twenty goblins rush out of the room. They are enraged and are wondering why there are intruders in their castle.

Me (bard): I’ll talk us out of it!

Dm: How..?

Me: I’ll convince them I’m an architect. I’m inspecting this castle and that they should leave because the building is unstable

Everyone: What the heck?!

Dm: Okay… But if you fail this, they’ll be even more mad and will only attack you. And remember, Quince, there are twenty.

The rest of the party: RIP Quince, goodbye to our beloved bard

Me: *Rolls a twenty after talking like a used car salesman for five minutes*

Hell yeah!

[wasyago]

they're a killer queeeeen

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[sadmages]

Finally found a bit for my Durge

[rodatirhaalo]

Thinkin' about how Samantha Béart said "karlach would've liked to open a tavern if she got the chance", and how The Gang uses the true resurrection scroll on Karlach 0.01 seconds after the credits roll (because OF COURSE THEY FUCKING DO), and how she would totally open that tavern with her Hero Money, and how she'd definitely have potato wedges you could order named "Mama K's Taters".

[spooky-activity]

💕✨🌚🌑Shadowheart🌑🌚✨💕

[whenfatecollides]

Gabrielle going against her beliefs and deviating from the path she wanted to take in life in order to save Xena | bonus:

[chicotfp]

Legolas comforting grieving Thranduil after Bard's death. Requested by amazing @lucy-verse Thank you so much for this request and for your Buymeacoffee donation.❤ Barduil has a special place in my heart. I hope you are not disappointed.

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

“I am every moment in dread lest something may cause me

to lose my life.”

[spielzeugkaiser]

[MASTERPOST]

Eskel is like "I WILL read this book about... A wolf and all his friends? Dancing and being. happy... 🥺"

[thoodleoo]

if youre ever afflicted with writers block just start listing the names and homelands of every minor character in your story until you figure out what to do next. if it worked for homer it'll work for you

[alitheakorogane]

Freedom's Protection: May the Anemo Archon Protect You

Summary: You were chased out by your beloved characters from Mondstadt who thought that you were the imposter that 'stole' the face of the person you remembered who never even exist in the game files. Meanwhile, their own disguised Archon had done something stupid that could change everything forever.

This is the second part of Mondstadt's storyline for the Reader Protection Squad SAGAU series.

Note: There are instances of grammatical errors, please bear with me. Also, the entire layout was now changed and I placed a title on them so I could not be confused while I write the next chapters. It's still the same story though.

Chapters: 1, 2 (current), 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

You were running for your life, literally.

The people of Mondstadt have finally caught you loitering around while looking for food within the nation's borders, and the Knights of Favonius and citizens alike are catching up to you. Even Acting Grand Master Jean and Master Diluc were there, leading the hunt against you. 

You can't believe how Teyvat does Diluc joined forces with the Knights when he was against them since his father's death. They are dedicated to making your life hell, you suppose.  

You did not choose this life, but fate always seems to punch you in the gut. Maybe the gods above wanted to make fun of your misfortune, for they even isekai-ed you to a universe where the characters of your favorite game were willing to tear you to oblivion for something you did not know of. You just wanted a peaceful life, even for one moment, and you didn't get it, unfortunately.

When you got stranded in the world of Teyvat by some mysterious means, you were excited at first. You loved playing Genshin Impact and you could say that it was an escape from your lonely and repetitive life. You wanted to see the fantastical world in your eyes, as you were limited by a screen before, looking at the beautiful scenery of Teyvat in the eyes of the Travelers. You even wanted to meet your favorite characters, especially your main one.

But when you first stepped into the city of Mondstadt, expecting the citizens of the City of Freedom with welcoming smiles on their faces, your beautiful dreams were shattered when they chased you out of the city, throwing some things and rotten fruits at you at every corner, shouting about you being an imposter. The Church of Favonius called you a scum of the continent and the Knights of Favonius have been bat-shit crazy to capture you to be executed. 

The City of Freedom, my ass.

You have no idea what is going on until you see a big statue in the middle of the city as you tried to calm your breathing, the figure is serene with its arms extended to the heavens, probably pointing to Celestia. But as you squinted your eyes at the statue, you noticed that the statue is different.

You had remembered in your experience of playing Genshin that this was supposed to be Lord Barbatos' huge statue, with his serene face plastered unto it. You may even see a similar face on a certain bard in Mondstadt, probably drunk or playing his precious lyre somewhere, who knows. Venti isn't known for being subtle, for an Archon who wants to hide his true identity, he was sure as flashy and dramatic as he was, especially when drunk.

But you were surprised to see that the statue doesn't have Venti's face on it like it was supposed to. Instead, your face was plastered on it, wearing a fancy robe with a serene look on it. Your jaw dropped when you saw the monstrosity and figured out that this could be the reason you were chased by an angry mob. You look like that statue in front of you, and you presumed that whoever this is, they must be the current god of Mondstadt, Teyvat even. What happened to Venti anyway? Was he replaced or wasn't he an Archon, to begin with in this universe?

You may think this is the wrong Genshin Impact you had been sent to. Gods, why have they forsaken you by throwing you in the wrong one!

“(Y/N)!”

As you were now cornered by multiple people, three green-laced arrows were seen flying toward the surprised Knights, and you could see the look of disbelief in Diluc and Jean’s eyes like they couldn’t believe what they saw. Outrider Amber was ready to strike back, her hands were holding the bow as if she was ready to shoot if necessary, and her sharp arrows were laced with her Pyro. The Spindrift Knight was there too, her multicolored heterochromatic eyes glaring at you and the person behind you with burning intensity, even though Eula was technically a Cryo Vision Holder. Lisa was also there, but compared to the people with her, she was just chilling out there and watching the scene unfold.

You then looked back to see who was the one who shot the arrows and thank them, but your eyes widened in shock as you saw the culprit behind the attack.

Venti the Bard had pointed his Elegy of the End bow towards the people of Mondstadt, his own people, with his anemo-infused arrows which were glowing brightly as it was ready to strike anyone who dares to shoot you with anything. He was accompanied by Razor, Fischl, and Bennett, who were also holding their respective weapons as if posing for an attack.

You were confused as hell when it was revealed that Venti had been willing to fight his people to save you and to prove your innocence, that he was willing to honor his promise to you a while ago.

You remembered your conversation with him a while ago, where he confronted you and honestly told you about your situation. You could even see the sincerity when he told you that he was going to protect you because he was like you, an imposter, who is unlucky enough to share the same face as the Divine Creator of Celestia and Teyvat.

As you remembered, it was not mentioned in the game about the existence of a Divine Creator. Well, the existence of the Primordial One or Phanes in the game lore was closest enough, but you never know that much about the Genshin Impact lore department. 

Thankfully, no one was hurt by the arrows, and you had assumed that it was a warning shot to fend your would-be captors off. Venti was still caring for his people even though he was now against them.

"Put your weapons down or you'll be sorry," Venti threatened the Knights with a dark glare, especially to the two leaders in front of him, who were still looking at the Archon-in-disguise in disbelief. You know that these two knew that Venti is Lord Barbatos in disguise due to the Stormterror incident, and you could imagine how heartbroken Jean would be if she found out about Venti's actions towards you. And she did now, you can hear her beliefs shattered in an instant she saw Venti pointing his arrows at her and the Knights.

"Bard, what is the meaning of this?" Diluc asked the hidden Anemo Archon with a confused look, as he could never understand how Lord Barbatos was defending the imposter. Venti just glared back as he spoke in a scathing tone, "You don't know what your doing, attacking an innocent one for something they never did."

Eula scoffed as she regained her composure, "Innocent? Don't make me laugh, insolent bard. That rodent had committed the greatest crime anyone could do in Teyvat! Posing as the Divine Creator, bearing that face?"

Bennett gathered his courage to snap back at the woman, his green eyes glaring in determination to defend you, " (Y/N) is not an Imposter! They are the Divine Grace, and we saw that in our own two eyes."

Lisa had retorted back at the claim, as many people had gathered around them to listen to their banters, "Oh cutie, what if they brainwashed you to believe them? They could be part of the Abyss Order for all we know."

Eula, the Knights, and some of the citizens had agreed with the purple witch's statement while Jean and Diluc just stood there with a conflicted look, "It's impossible for any divinity to become a human, let alone live and mingle alongside humans like they were not divinity, to begin with! The Divine Grace is perfect in any means, so this scum must be an imposter, and those brainless people who imitated the gods must be punished and torn to oblivion, so vengeance will be served!"

The majority of the people agreed with the bluenette's statement, but some are not sure about it. Jean was still looking at the bard with a conflicted look in her eyes, while Diluc placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Imposters like them must be eliminated at all costs, for the protection of everyone. And for the Archons, Celestia, and the Divine Grace themselves. They were the lowest of the low, a scum of Teyvat, a scoundrel that needs to be executed."

The young-looking bard felt like he was offended by that statement and decided to retort back, as he bowed his head down his bangs covering his hurt-filled eyes, "So that's what you thought of imposters? Scum of Teyvat? A scoundrel who just takes advantage of others' identity as if they never had the reason why they did that? Is that it?"

You widened your eyes as you realized what he was about to do.

"Venti, don't do it," you warned him, trying to stop what he is going to imply. He may regret it later, and what he was going to reveal will shatter everything that he ever wanted to do ever since he woke up from his long slumber.

But it was too late, he had already glared back at the people infront of him with tears in his eyes, these same people that his bard friend had sacrificed his life for thousands of years ago, his own people he swore to protect...

Is this how freedom is when it was given to his people and was just taken for granted?

"What if your dear Anemo Archon was also like them, an imposter who also steals someone's face?!"

---------------------

I guess that I should stop this here because it's getting too long. I will be posting a continuation someday, that is, if my mind was still chugging some ideas about this angsty SAGAU fic.

Yes, this is Part 2, as Part 1 was the last fic where Venti had a convo with the reader where he confronted them about being an imposter.

So Venti is part of your protection squad in this Imposter AU concept, one of the two Archons who are going to help you. He is usually the mischaracterized character in SAGAU fics, and I wanted to do justice to my boi's character.

After all, he knew the songs of the past, present, and future so he probably knows nearly everything that happened in the timeline. He is also known for taking the form of his friend when he ascended to be the Anemo Archon, so he was also an imposter by any means.

Never intended to end that way, originally I intended to let the Reader run while Venti had sacrificed himself to his people as a distraction. But as I wrote this story, the angsty side of me suddenly pops up.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[marlynnofmany]

Squishy Cybernetics

“Hello!” I said. “Where would you like this?” I waved an arm at the large pallet of boxes, bags, and miscellaneous other packaging. It was on one of our biggest hoversleds, and accompanied by some of the biggest crewmates.

The Waterwill at the loading gate burbled thoughtfully, sounding like a water jug given sentience. She extended what passed for an arm of her own and pointed indoors. “You’d better bring it all the way in. Over here.” She glided inward, moving in that mysterious way I’d never figured out. Someone shaped like a column of jello had no business scooting forward that quickly, no matter how much their lower end rippled against the floor.

But I didn’t have time for galaxy-gazing; I had to help steer the hoversled. Regulations said we needed someone on all four sides for a load this big, just in case of antigrav mishaps. Didn’t want it slamming into something breakable at this client’s facility — or slamming into anything at all, really, but this place was some sort of high-tech manufacturing plant, and I didn’t want to think about what kind of damage a crash could do.

No mishaps today, though. The Frillian twins paced along on either side, all muscles and tight clothes (they’d left the flowy silks behind today; a solid choice). I couldn’t see Zhee in the back, but I heard the quiet click of his bug feet. My own feet were silent in proper Earth shoes as I tugged the steering handle and followed the Waterwill.

I thought we’d just take the thing to the far side of the big loading dock, unload it in an out-of-the-way spot to be unpacked later. But the Waterwill kept going. We passed hovercars and wheeled carts, storage cabinets and bins, along with a baffling arrangement of pipes along one wall. Windows showed glimpses of the busy manufacturing facility. I had no idea what they were making. Maybe I’d get a better look on the way back out.

Oh hey, a human, I thought in surprise as I passed a bigger window. With a Strongarm on his back? What in the world are they making together? I was already moving past, and could only speculate about intricate manufacturing projects that needed hands and tentacles at the same time.

I was still wondering why the Strongarm hadn’t just pulled up a chair next to the human when the Waterwill signalled me to stop. “Stopping,” I announced for Zhee’s benefit. We all came to a halt, and nobody crashed into anything. Hallelujah.

“Here, please,” the Waterwill said. She stretched her arm out into a long tendril to pick up a scrap of something blue that had fallen on the floor, and pointed at an empty space near several foam-topped tables. “I’m needed out front. Heeme, can you oversee?”

“Sure thing,” said a voice from nowhere, then a Strongarm climbed out from under one of the tables. “Found the last of the broken bits, by the way.” Two of his tentacles were curled around pieces of the same blue stuff the Waterwill had picked up. The blue stood out against the dark red of his skin, but not as much as the four mismatched tentacles on other side did. They were a transparent blue-green much like the Waterwill’s own tendrils. I tried not to stare, and failed.

“Thank you,” the Waterwill said. “I’ll be back in a bit.” She set her broken piece of whatever on the nearest table, then scooted through a door that was apparently soundproofed, because a cacophony of whirs and whooshes filled the air until it closed.

“Right,” I said. “Over here, then.” I steered the hoversled into position, then we all worked together to guide the detachable gravity platform onto the ground. That part always made me nervous, since it looked like the giant pallet that could crush me was floating through the air with just a touch of technological magic to make it go. I understand other models of industrial-sized hoversleds have more mechanical-looking gravity platforms, or regular forklift arms. Ours was the glowy magic kind, and it deposited the giant stack of objects with all the precision of the best fairytale enchantment.

“Perfect,” said the Strongarm. “We’ll unpack it from here. Thanks.”

“Our pleasure,” I said.

Zhee, finally able to see over the hoversled, got a good look at who I was talking to. “Oh, I’m sure you’re fast at unpacking,” he said, pointing with his pincher arm. “Does that model form into blades?”

“Sure does!” the Strongarm said, holding up a see-through tentacle that instantly flattened into a shape like a steak knife. “Good for packaging, stubborn latches, and all manner of other things.”

“And stabbing!” Blop put in, to be immediately shushed by his sister.

“No stabbing on the job,” she told him.

The Strongarm laughed. “Yeah, just respectable tool use. They don’t give these out to anyone who’s going to do violence with them.”

I asked, “Is that Waterwill tech? I haven’t seen one before.”

“Yup.” He turned the knife back into a tentacle, then into a variety of other shapes. “One of the perks of working here, for sure. They’re cagey about sharing tech. This is the best prosthesis I’ve ever encountered.”

I thought of the hard metal-and-plastic replacement limbs that were standard on Earth. They would be wildly out of place on this guy’s squishy octopus body. And no amount of interchangeable attachments would be able to beat this kind of easy shapeshifting. I said, “That looks really useful.”

“It is!”

The loud door opened to admit a wall of sound, along with the human-and-Strongarm pair. Which I realized with a start was actually just a human wearing more transparent tentacles on his back.

“Here’s the new set,” he said to the Strongarm, placing a clear box on the table that was full of a stack of more flat blue things. They appeared to be cut into very specific shapes. I might have been curious about what they were for if not for the much more interesting thing to be curious about.

“Hello,” I said. “Does everyone who works here get extra limbs?”

The tan human grinned. “If they want ‘em! And they pass the screening, of course. But you’ve got to leave them here each day if they’re the bonus kind, as opposed to replacements.”

The Strongarm wiggled his tentacles in a taunting manner. “I can open packages and slice food so easily at home.”

The human made a face and wiggled the tentacles on his back. “Yeah yeah, we’re all jealous. Someday I’ll convince the bosses that there’s an actual market for these, and I’ll be the first in line to buy my own.”

“They think there isn’t?” I asked in shock. “Those look so useful! I can’t list the number of times I’ve wished for more hands. Using teeth and feet only goes so far.”

Zhee made a disparaging hiss. “You have that many fingers, and still want more? Greedy.”

“I’m just saying that re-weaving a cargo net would go much faster if I could hold all of the fibers at once,” I told him, then turned to the Frillians. “Back me up. Two arms just isn’t enough sometimes, right?”

Blip and Blop looked at each other and shrugged. “I guess?” Blip said. “But that’s just when it’s time to get another person to help.”

Zhee clicked a pincher. “Exactly so. Or approach the problem differently.”

The human told me, “I’ve had this conversation more than once. Apparently not all species grow up imagining what it’s like to have bird wings or monkey tails or whatnot.”

“Surely other people want to fly,” I said. The expressions around me were dishearteningly blank. “Surely!”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” the human said. “See why I couldn’t convince the bosses?”

“But even on a practicality standpoint!” I exclaimed. “They have you using them here; why wouldn’t they think you’d want to use them at home?”

He shrugged, moving the tentacles in a graceful wave as he did. “Alien brains. I’ve given up trying to fully understand.”

The Strongarm spoke up. “If there are actually a large number of humans who would buy these, then it couldn’t hurt to put together a request from outside sources. The bosses don’t listen to random employees who are probably biased, but they might take an interest in actual buyers.”

I shook my head slowly. “Our courier ship isn’t going to be that kind of buyer, especially not at the scale they’d probably need.”

“What about big human ships?” Blip asked. “We could suggest it to the next one we meet.”

“Or human colonies,” Blop said. “Or large groups at space stations.”

Zhee said, “I heard Captain Sunlight talking about a delivery to Basal Station soon. There are plenty of humans there. You could suggest it to them, if you think this is really that widespread an interest.”

“It couldn’t hurt,” I said, thinking. There was indeed a significant human population on that space station, which might even include the crew I’d met from the droid jousting ship Hold My Beer. They were definitely the type to appreciate some extra arms. Both for working on finicky electronics and general slapfight shenanigans.

“Here, we should have something with the contact information,” said the Strongarm. “Jon, is there a notepad over there?”

“Yeah, got it.” The human leaned over a table and used his tentacles to lift a stack of books so he could pull out the small notepad at the bottom. That may have been showing off. “Here you go!” He handed it to me with his regular hand.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll see if I can find the right ears to whisper into.”

“Best of luck!” he said. “My partner has asked me no less than half a dozen times if I could sneak my set home to play around with, but I’m not gonna risk the job.”

I laughed, hoping I wasn’t blushing. “Oh man, I wasn’t even going to mention the bedroom applications.”

Of course Zhee had to ask, tilting his head with faceted eyes shining. “The what?”

“Remember how most humans find tentacles a little creepy?” I asked him, pocketing the notepad.

“I recall. It makes this insistence all the stranger.”

“Well, some humans aren’t creeped out at all. Kind of the opposite. They like them a lot. In a, uh, private fashion.”

Jon the human spelled it out for him. “Mating rituals.”

Zhee’s antennae did a complicated dance, then settled in something that looked like disgust. “I was about to ask why, but I’ve decided I don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, best not to,” I agreed. “Anyway! Very useful extra arms. Good for a wide variety of activities. Other humans will likely be interested.”

“Very likely,” Jon agreed.

I activated the hovercart with a nod, and we said our goodbyes. The employees wished me luck. They returned to work while we headed back toward our ship.

Zhee grumbled disparaging things about my species the whole way, but that was nothing new.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

PS: the story with the good ship Hold My Beer is here, if you're wondering about that. It's fun.

[wheretheresawyll]

still boggles my mind that in the year 2024 most players still ignore anora's character just to reduce her to a lying backstabber, when she only goes against you if:

you reveal her identity to ser cautherine and howe's soldiers, defeating the entire purpose of her disguise and also ignoring what she told you literally one minute before about how they can't know she's escaping with you - thereby betraying her first

you ignore her completely in denerim after she asks you to come talk to her, and only show up to the landsmeet

you bring up loghain's fate, and when she tells you that she would rather him be spared if possible, you tell her to her face that her father has to die

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 14

Jaskier is sure Geralt ignores most of what he says. That is, until Geralt leaves his journal behind when he goes to hunt one day. Jaskier trips on it and goes to put it in his pack, light-heartedly muttering to Roach about how much of a slob that man is, before seeing his name plastered all over the page. He takes a deep breath and prepares himself to read a page filled with nothing but insults and a rant of how annoying Jaskier must be, only to find out the journal is filled with paragraph after paragraph of loving descriptions and insights into everything Jaskier speaks or sings about, including the occasional highly-detailed sketch of him, made with love. Jaskier reads page after page after page after page after page, and only stops when interrupted by Geralt's shocked intake of breath as he comes back to camp.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Pre-Prompt fic that ticks some of the boxes was found by @merthurmagic! It focuses on the drawing part, but it's very sweet! It involves getting together, and the kaer morhen boys! I'm not a personal fan of the way dialogue is written, with angle brackets instead of quotation marks, but it's still a good read!

[paexie]

Day 18: Bard

[radiofreederry]

"When you heard that music, it felt like you’d known it your whole life. That music… it made you feel things you didn’t know you could. That man with the frailing hand made you feel like you could take on the whole doggone world."

"It had been twenty years since the people had risen up and been smashed back into the ground."

Twenty years ago, in the midst of a terrible famine, the people of the Kingdom of Mindolach rose up in defiance against the Crown, inspired by the words and the music of a man known only as the Green Bard. The rebellion was crushed, and the Bard disappeared.

Now, as crops begin to fail once more in Mindolach, young Orphia Dain discovers a mysterious instrument in a forest cave. Newly equipped with magical abilities she doesn't fully understand, she will journey across the breadth of the kingdom to seek out the sorcerers of Great Rock and, joined by a hillbilly wizard, a weary veteran, a mercenary swordswoman, and a highwayman, try to revive the spirit of revolution.

The Green Bard is a fantasy novel I have been working on for months now, set in a world based on the American South, Appalachia, and Ireland, with elements of Imperial Germany and Russia. The novel is intended to be the first instalment in a series titled A Blessing From Below. I will be publishing my first draft as it is written, and have made the first four chapters and prologue available now. I hope you will enjoy it, and welcome your feedback!

Read The Green Bard below:

(cover art drawn by @terrafey)