#be your own cheerleader

[poetry-in-my-bones]

Hello Hello,

Picture Credit - @jessczapalskipoetry on Instagram

👆I saw this post yesterday and it just made my day🪄🤎

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

Updates ~

I had my exam recently & I tried my best but wasn't really satisfied with how I performed.

My next exam is 10 days later & I'm going to try my hardest for it.

I'm discontinuing the 30 day challenge as it wasn't working for me.

I'm now starting an 11 day challenge (for now) in accordance with my next exam. It's not too much like a 30 day challenge so I know I can keep up with it.

The 11 day challenge is going to be filled with study as well as life updates because I recently realized that I stop taking care of myself when my exams or something equally important are around the corner. I want to change this habit of mine so bear with me.

That's it, I guess.

I hope december is treating you all well 💚

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The fact I'm so impatient to intro Thor tho--

[soulinkpoetry]

When people have stopped seeing the light in you, be your own cheerleader. Show everyone that you’re still worth fighting for. You carry the light of a thousand suns in you. Don’t forget that!

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Music by Katy Perry

Firework

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HAPPY 4th OF JULY 🎆

[tessaannedesigns]

Motivational Kitty Post! 😻❤️

[allisonwonderland92]

New Year, New Me (lol)

I know, I know. You’re gonna see A TON of posts just like that title. And people overhype it.

But the question I pose: So what?

So what if they wanna brag about their dreams for the upcoming year?

So what if they wanna post their goals that they are eagerly hoping to strive towards and obtain?

Why not push your friends to reach for the stars?

Why not encourage them to work their hardest to meet the goals they set for themselves?

Be a cheerleader, dude.

There’s enough negativity in the world without you adding to it. If you really care about them, and they’re truly your friend, then you should want them to succeed.

If you don’t, then just go ahead and delete them. Cause there’s no point in watching their lives, if you don’t wanna be a part of it.

I know I’ll have some goals coming for the new year. Like blogging more, just because I need an outlet.

And that’s another thing!

If you have goals, make them! Despite the the Debbie Downers and Negative Nancies.

DO IT FOR YOURSELF. It would be awesome if you had the support of those you love and call friends and family. But their support (or lack there of) DOES NOT and WILL NOT define your success. That’s all up to you.

So get out there and do you, boo 💕

[hajihiko]

☀️

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

“Poorly-Drawn” Poorly-Drawn-MDZS by my friend who has no context for what MDZS is, but has read every comic of mine in support.

[alexandriaellisart]

rah rah rah

[akkivee]

ichiro apparently

[orionsangel86]

By the way if you wanna know how my attempt at inktober is going...

There is actually a sketch in progress underneath the cat, its just difficult to work on it when he refuses to move!

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

2-4-6-8 who do u appreciate?

[poetry-in-my-bones]

Day 1/30

What I did today -

🌛 got some much needed rest

🌺 ate noodles

🪕 practiced some mock questions

Off to sleep, gonna do better from tomorrow 🤧

[itsdefinitely]

💀😡

starting off strong!

💀 least favorite lord in black and why 😡 least favorite character from npmd and why

based off design... pokey. he is so swagless please i need to give him cool pants please please why doesn't he have shiny pants and a feather boa he deserves one give him heels you cowards

as for npmd (characters who have a speaking role): brenda. hearing her talk the first time made my soul float out of my body. i didn't recognize it as bryce; i thought they genuinely got a teenager to be brenda. it just took me off guard how real she was. compared to everyone else matching their stereotype, brenda acts like. a regular teenager

[felix-lupin]

I hate going to the dentist or the doctor's or whatever because every single time they're like

"And how often do you brush your teeth?"

And I'm really really bad at forming habits. Absolute garbage at it. It's really hard for me to start doing something and then maintain it as routine, and that's if I even REMEMBER to do it. IF I even remember, I still need to scrounge up the motivation to do it. I've never in my life been able to maintain a routine of brushing my teeth twice a fucking day, but there's been a few times where, with enough effort, I've been able to maintain a routine of once a day.

So I look at them, and I'm like, "I brush my teeth about once a day," and I'm proud of myself, a little, because I know it was really hard for me to get there, and once a day is better than nothing, right?

But they look at me, and every time they're like, "Well, you really should be brushing your teeth twice a day." And any amount of pride I might've had is gone, washed away and drowned out by shame, instead, because even my best isn't good enough. Even when I've managed to get something, they look at me and they're like "You should do more."

And they'll lecture me on it, tell me that once a day isn't enough. They'll tell me to at least try to brush my teeth twice a day, not once, and they'll present it like it's such a reasonable request. Like, this is the bare minimum, this isn't hard to do, it's easy, you should at least try to do it.

And because the shame is too much, and I don't want to look like I'm not trying, because I AM, I'm trying my best, and I don't want to say no because then it'll look like I'm just lazy, not willing to put in the effort. So I'll say okay, and I'll agree. And when I go home, I brush my teeth and maybe I'll brush my teeth twice a day for two or three days, and then I'll miss it. It's too emotionally/slash mentally draining to keep up the habit, or I didn't have the time, or some other reason, but I'll miss it.

And then, instead of being able to go back to brushing my teeth once a day, keeping that small, basic thing so that I have at least some upkeep on my teeth, I feel so much shame and dejection, I feel like such a useless failure, that I just.. Stop. I stop doing even that basic upkeep. I don't brush my teeth for fucking months, until it gets bad enough that they start to hurt and even then I'm like, why should I even try to get back into the habit? It's not worth it. It's not enough. It'll never be enough.

My best will never be enough for those people. I'll brush my teeth once a day, and they'll say, well, it should really be twice a day, as if I don't already know. I'll clean a small portion of my room, organize my desk or take out the trash or clean the closet, and they'll say, well, you should really clean the whole thing. I'll walk for twenty or thirty minutes while my legs hurt nearly the whole time, and then it gets bad enough I have to sit down, and they'll say, well, you really shouldn't sit here or you're wasting time or come on, it's not even that long, you should be able to walk for this long. or you're being dramatic, just believe in yourself!

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of my needs being dismissed, my best efforts being dismissed as not good enough when it's so hard for me to do that much. I hate it, and I hate how even though I know that I'm trying my goddamn best I can't fully erase the shame, not truly. It sits in the back of my brain like a parasite, eating away at my motivation to do things, to try my best. Consuming it until the shame just crushes and paralyzes me, and then I can't get myself to do anything like that at all, can't even try to put in the bare minimum, let alone my best. Because my best isn't good enough, will never be good enough, and it'll never get rid of the shame.

[caffeinatedopossum]

People that hate polyamory are honestly the weakest link

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

Noticed my self-talk has been getting a bit mean recently so I've started to imagine Eddie telling me off every time.

Example:

Me: "For fuck's sake, you're so stupid"

Eddie: "Hey! That's my Y/N you're talking about!"

Or

Me: "Why am I so [insult here]?"

Eddie: "You know that's not true, sweetheart."

Or

Me: "Why can't I just XYZ thing? I'm so [insult]"

Eddie: "Whoa, hey! You're just frustrated/tired and it's making you [emotion here], that's all. It's okay, Y/N."

But my absolute favourite is to remind myself that no matter who I am or what I look like or any other excuse I can pull out of my self-deprecating ass, Eddie would love me and he would be proud of me and that's that on that.

So try to remember the same for you, dear reader, yeah?