#because I can’t animate people kissing- i don’t have that shit download

[dinitride-art]

So, either I’ve become a master at animating people kissing (can barely even draw it) or something sketchy’s going on here. Oh, I can see where I fucked some of this up- I can see where I fucked some of this up- Jesus fucking christ.

Help

[wandaromanova]

Geek

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, sexual suggestion, that’s all!

A/N: hello! hope you guys like this! happy reading <3

anon requested: Hi Kass! Could I request a super fluffy clingy Nat that’s trying to take her girlfriend shopping for video games and completely geeks out about like collectibles, games and other stuff? If you’re okay with it of course.

Summary: Y/N supports Natasha’s gaming addiction, despite not being a gamer herself.

Word Count: 1.5K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

“Come on, babe!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You rolled your eyes as your girlfriend, Natasha, pulled you by your hand and towards a store, GameStop, to be exact. 

The redhead has always had a love for video games, which surprised you, in all honesty. It wasn’t exactly the fact that she was a gamer that shocked you, it was more like her favorite game was an unexpected one; Minecraft. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Yeah. Natasha Romanoff, the world’s deadliest assassin, absolutely loved to play Minecraft.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She had a thing for creating various buildings in survival mode. There was something soothing about going out and finding supplies to use that got your girlfriend all excited. 

Natasha played the game on the computer you had in the living room of your shared apartment, not having a game station of her own. So, you took the liberty of buying a brand new PS5 for her just because. Now, the redhead was on the hunt for a PlayStation Store gift card to purchase the BedRock version of Minecraft. 

Truthfully, you didn’t know the difference, regardless of how many times Natasha had tried to explain it to you. Although you tried to understand it, considering how much your girlfriend adored the game. 

“So… what’s the difference between the one on your computer and the one you’re trying to buy from the online store?” 

You questioned your girlfriend as she dragged you towards the gift card section, her eyes scanning the plethora of cards for the one she needed. 

“The Java Edition is the original version of the game that was created for PC users, which is the one I’ve been using. You can do multiplayer with other PC users.

You nodded your head as she spun around the gift card stand, her other hand still firmly holding your own. 

“The BedRock Edition is for gaming consoles. This version allows cross-platform multiplayer mode, which means I can play Minecraft with anyone, regardless of their console.”

Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of what she had been looking for. 

“Considering there hasn’t been a release of Minecraft for the PS5, I have to purchase it online, with this gift card.” 

Natasha smiled triumphantly when her eyes landed on what she was looking for. She selected the card and proudly presented it to you, a wide smile spread across her face.

“Ta-daaa, my ticket into the realms.” Natasha scrunched her nose up while lowering her voice into an ominous tone. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at her antics. 

“Is there anything else you want, nerd?” You looked around the busy store. God, there were so many weird people here, nerds.

“Okay, first of all… I’m a geek, not a nerd. If you’re gonna do something, do it right.” Natasha sassed and you raised your eyebrow at her as she began to pull you towards the collectibles section, not before shoving the gift card into your free hand. 

“Potato, patato.” Natasha flipped you off, lifting her middle finger up behind her back as she guided you through the busy store. 

You let out a chuckle, then suddenly, Natasha let go of your hand and practically ran towards your destination. 

“Babe! Look!! It’s a baby panda plushie!!” Natasha snatched the stuffed animal off of one of the shelves and quickly whipped around as you caught up with her. 

“Wow… very cool…” Your voice lacked enthusiasm and the redhead sent you a glare, landing a soft punch on your shoulder. 

“Uh, don’t even try and act like this isn’t cool. The panda is my favorite animal mod! They do cute little tricks when you feed them bamboo.”

Natasha hugged the plushie close to her chest. She gave you the best puppy dog eyes she could muster, paired with pouty lips. 

“Can I please get the baby panda? I’ll give you head later if you get it for me.” You let out a genuine laugh at your girlfriend’s words. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was really bribing you with sex in order to get a stuffed panda; adorable. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean I was going to get it for you anyway, but I’m definitely not declining that offer.” 

Natasha let out a small squeal before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. You winced, not being able to breathe. 

“Babe, I- I kinda need to be alive to buy it for you…” You croaked out and the redhead loosened her hold on you, pulling back to peck your lips repeatedly. 

Natasha let go of you and turned around to face the section once more. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of another piece of Minecraft merch. 

“Baby, look. It’s a torch-shaped water bottle! It looks exactly like the ones in the game.” Natasha tucked the panda under her arm, reaching out to grab the item that was on a higher shelf. 

The Russian let out a huff when she failed to reach the water bottle. Shaking your head, you made your way over to her, placing a hand on her waist as you grabbed the bottle with ease. 

Natasha rolled her eyes at you as you handed the object to her, a cocky smirk on your face.

“Show off…” Natasha muttered as she turned around to face you, staring at the water bottle in awe. She was freaking out over how detailed the design was and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the cutest shit you’ve ever seen. 

“I’ll get it for you if I can get head, twice.” Natasha looked up at you with a smirk on her face, her eyes focusing on your face. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Deal.” 

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

A few hours later 

“Natty, dinner is ready.” You called out from the kitchen, your eyes lifting up to eye your girlfriend. 

She was sat on the couch in the living room, playing the version of Minecraft she had just downloaded. 

Natasha completely ignored you, too entranced by the video game.

With a sigh, you made your way out of the kitchen and sat beside the redhead, finally gaining her attention. 

“Baby, the graphics are so much better on this version than the other one.” You focused on the screen and watched as she opened the door of a home she built while you cooked dinner. 

“Look at all my dogs! I killed a ton of skeletons and got their bones so I could tame a shit ton of dogs.” Natasha smiled while your eyes widened. 

In a room of the house, there was nothing but dogs. The barks could be heard through the surround sound. 

“Jesus, Nat. How many do you have?” You couldn’t believe that she managed to find that many dogs. You’d watched her play a few times and you knew that it took a ton of time to come across dogs in the wild. 

“I have thirty. Aren’t they the cutest?” You turned your head to face Natasha’s side profile, a smirk making its way to your face. 

“Can I try?” You asked sweetly and Natasha immediately handed you the controller, showing you which buttons did what, before letting you play. 

You let out a small laugh as you began to hit the dogs with your hands, spamming the strike button as much as you could. 

Natasha let out a scream as the dogs yelped, your hits injuring them. You’d known this was possible because the redhead cried when she accidentally killed her dog on the PC a few months ago.

Seriously, she was devastated. This woman could kill men without flinching, but she cried for weeks after killing her virtual dog.

“Y/N! What the fuck are you doing? Stop!” Natasha exclaimed, yanking the controller out of your hand while you laughed uncontrollably. 

“I’m sorry, I had to. They’re not real and there are way too many! You can’t possibly take care of them all. It’s a small price to pay for salvation.” 

Natasha sent you a harsh glare, creases forming on her forehead. You let out a small sigh, wrapping your arms around her waist.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re heartless. I’m dating a puppy murderer.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The redhead grumbled out as she tried to get out of your grip, but you wouldn’t let her. 

“I’m sorry. I love you.” You shoved your face into her neck, your words coming out muffled against her skin. 

“No. Go fuck yourself. You killed two of my puppies.” The seriousness of Natasha’s tone sent you into another laughing fit. 

You pulled your face away from her neck, and sneaked a few kisses on her lips before placing one on her nose. 

Natasha tried her best to keep a straight face, but that didn’t last long. Her lips curled upward and she shook her head, cupping your cheek with one hand, and kissing you deeply. 

You disconnected your lips and stared into her emerald eyes. Her forehead was pressed up against yours as her eyes scanned your face.

“God, you’re such a nerd.” You breathed out when Natasha pulled her face back from yours slightly, a faux look of annoyance and offense across her features.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“For the last time, I’m a geek, not a nerd!” Natasha huffed out and your eyes softened, a playful smirk on your face. You absolutely adored her and loved to piss her off whenever you could.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They’re interchangeable terms for loser.” 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Fuck you.” 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean… I was promised head.” 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I revoke that promise.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey! That’s not how promises work!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[thefanficmonster]

Power Couple

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing 

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Summary: Sean, Felix, Dave, and Joel welcome Corpse’s girlfriend to a game of Party Animals. It’s her first time playing and she has to deal with a lot more than just the controls and objectives - her boyfriend being a cute, cuddly sweetheart with ulterior motives to his clinginess.

Requested by @susceptible-but-siriusexual. Thank you so much for your request! Hope I captured what you wanted and how you wanted. Feel free to send any other requests you may have XOXO

It’s been one hell of a day. Had to correct twice as many documents as I was originally supposed to at work; found my car with a flat tire in the parking lot as I was about to go home; argued with my boss over the phone while stuck in a traffic jam. It’s been a rough twelve hours, but it has led me here and that’s what I’d rather think about.

By ‘here’ I mean I’m sitting on the couch in Corpse’s recording room, my computer in my lap, my screen displaying the screen to the game Party Animals. The suggestion was Corpse’s. He immediately picked up on my below par mood and wasted no time finding a solution to bright up the remainder of the day, shadowing the shitty portion of it. I am not what you would call a gamer. Sure I’ve played Among Us with Corpse and his friends a few times. Even that I struggle to do because I’m internally fangirling over all the people in the lobby. Yeah, dating a youtuber doesn’t mean you automatically stop gushing over the many content creators on the platform you’ve been watching for quite some time now. Corpse knows how nervous I get so he’s always near me when we play with Sean, Felix and the other. All he has to do is give me that encouraging smile and wink of his and I’m good to go. Side note: massive props to him for going easy on me in Among Us, getting teasingly called ‘simp’ by his friends in the process.

“You’ll love it.“ He promised me over and over again as the game was downloading on my computer.

“I don’t doubt that, Corpse. But I am going in completely blind and I seriously don’t wanna embarrass myself.“ I mumble a quick ‘nor you‘ under my breath, hoping he doesn’t catch it because I’m in for a pep talk if he does. 

To my dismay, he does, “Listen here, you couldn’t embarrass me even if you actively tried to do something outrageous. Most likely scenario, I’d join you in the act.” He ducks in front of the couch so we’re at eye level, his hand coming up to cup my cheek in the sweetest, most comforting gesture ever. “We’ll show em who’s the boss at stealing candy.”

I can’t help but laugh, feeling unable to express just how much this man means to me. Words can’t do the feeling justice.

“Y/N!“

“Y/N!!“

“Corpse Wife has arrived!“

Hearing all the greetings lights a flame in my chest, the warmth spreading all the way to my neck and cheeks. “Hi guys! Missed playing with you!”

“We missed you too!“ Dave, the only one of the gaming gang I’ve actually met in person, replies to me, his words along with all the others’ wrapping around me like a comfort blanket. Despite them knowing I’m a fan of theirs, they’ve always made me feel welcomed, comfortable, nothing less than them.

“You know anything about this game?“ Felix asks me.

I shake my head, almost forgetting he can’t see me, “Corpse told me it’s funny and cute. It sounds like the perfect game for me.” 

“Oh no, this is a game of survival. Survival of the fittest!“ Sean shouts excitedly, a bang following his shout I can only assume was him hitting his desk.

“I’d like to think I’m pretty fit.“ I shrug my shoulders, laughing along with the guys.

“This is the only way to find out if you actually are.“ Joel’s voice comes through my headphones in the form of a tease.

Sean mumbles quietly to himself as he’s deciding how to separate us in two teams. “Guys, a little help here. We all suck at this game, it doesn’t really matter who’s in which team.”

“Actually...“ Felix trails off, “Corpse and Y/N are the ultimate power couple in Among Us. Chances are they will be in this as well. So, the only logical move would be to...“

“I’m taking Y/N, you take Corpse.“ Sean declares. “Joel, Dave, who do you guys wanna be with?“

And the game starts. Sean, Joel and I are the Meowfia while Corpse, Felix and Dave are yet to choose a team name. We throw around snarky, cocky comments at each other, taunting the opposite team as we struggle to take the candy to our respective sides of the map.

“Don’t you dare pull that lever, Dave!“ I launch at Dave, knocking his cute avatar away from the lever, buying Joel and Sean some time to steal back the gummy bear Corpse and Felix took from us.

“Y/N! Joel is out! Help me!“ Sean is freaking out now. I ditch Dave’s unconscious body and run to Sean’s aid. 

As I’m helping him push it towards out area a member from the opposite team latches onto my avatar, weighing me down and hindering me from doing anything.

“Hug!“ Corpse laughs as he has literally turned into a koala, holding onto my avatar.

“Corpse, you know you are actually supposed to hinder Y/N, not hug her. It’s cute though, don’t get me wrong.“ Felix laughs as him and Sean continue to struggle over the gummy bear.

“Nah, his tactic’s great. I can’t do shit.“ I desperately try and shake him off, “Babe, this is unfair. I can’t even be mad at you!“ I whine, staring to panic now that Dave is back to life and Joel is nowhere to be seen.

The round is won by Felix, Dave and Corpse who, if I might add, didn’t let go of me for the rest of the game.

We switch maps, now every man for himself. We’re on the submarine, recreating the Hunger Games with cute fuzzy animals. The thought passes through my mind, causing me to giggle.

“Y/N, you sound exactly like I’d imagine your avatar to sound. You’re so cute.“ Sean’s avatar circles mine a few times as he laughs.

He’s not wrong, my pale blue puppy is indeed cute. Apparently immortal as well.

“How is Y/N still alive?! Holy shit, her and Corpse really are a power couple.“ Dave shrieks when he sees me pick up the freeze gun. “NOOO!“ He shouts, devastated by the fact I shot him, sending him straight to his death.

“Chill, Dave. It’s all cool. Nothing personal.“ I struggle to hide my laughter, “No hard feelings, right?“

“Of course not, love.“ I can tell he grits the sentence through clenched teeth.

“Aw Dave, you are such an ice guy.“ I giggle, now shooting Joel with the gun.

“Someone take that gun from her!“ Sean cries as him and Felix race up the submarine.

Suddenly, the avatar of my boyfriend again wraps itself around mine. I hadn’t seen him in a while, considering Sean knocked him into the ocean earlier in the round. 

“How are you still alive?!“ I try to spin my puppy to get him to let go but he holds on tightly. “Babe, I swear, you are cute and I love you, but this is ridiculous. How and why are you alive?”

“That’s his superpower! He never fucking dies.“ Felix laughs, letting out a yelp when he briefly slips while climbing.

“Immortals!!! Immortals!!!“ Sean breaks out into a song, a song I really like, breaking the restraints I had on my laughter.

“Drop the gun or we’re dying together.“ He says almost seriously. Even though I can only see the back of his head I know he’s grinning.

“A Titanic/Romeo and Juliet mashup? Why not? I can live with dying a double historical death.“ Even though I appear accepting of his offer, I’m still trying to set myself free.

In the end, Sean claims his first win of the game and the rest of us are dead at the bottom of the ocean. Corpse and I did indeed die a Romeo and Juliet/Titanic death, getting everyone in their feels. We make a deal to get together and play again as soon as possible and we all go our separate ways, exiting the Discord call.

*Later that night* 

After a dinner consisting of takeout and two thirds of a shitty romantic comedies, Corpse shifts from next to me, starting to get up from the couch. I am surprised to feel jolted out of a half sleep as the room is now completely silent, the TV being turned off.

“Hey where’re you going?“ I ask groggily, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

“I have some editing to do. Don’t worry, I won’t stay up too late.“ He kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone from the coffee table.

Just as he’s about to walk away, I wrap my arms around his legs. He laughs, catching onto what I’m insinuating. His chuckle brings a smile to my face and butterflies in my belly. No matter how long we date for or how much time we spend together, some things never change. 

“Payback, huh?“ He asks, the smile audible in the question. I keep my eyes shut but nod, my arms still around his legs. “Alright, you koala. You’re coming with me.”

In his recording room, he settles in his chair placing me in his lap in a way that my legs dangling off to the side, my side leaning against his chest, my face hidden in the crook of his neck. We’re both comfortable, content and relaxed.

I don’t know when exactly it happens, but all my mind has registered is a quiet ‘I love you’ and the soft touch of Corpse’s lips on my temple. I manage to reply with an ‘I love you too’ before my sleepiness consumes me, my body completely relaxing against his, the warmth of his body, his scent, the sound of his breathing making me feel safe and loved: the two feelings I want him to feel with the same intensity when I’m in his arms.

Something tells me he does.

@simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios  @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help

[toriwakes]

Pretty Boy 187 [s.r x reader]

summary: reader finds out that her new found tumblr crush is none other than her coworker.

content warnings: she/her!reader, mentions of alcohol

a/n: hi!! i’m so happy to be posting again. i’m really proud of this, so i hope you all like it! as always, let me know if you have any requests!

convincing spencer to get tumblr was tough. not only did he hate technology, he didn’t like social media either.

“it’s gonna be fun! c’mon, please?” you’ve been bugging him about it for about a week. “spencer, please just download it. if i have to hear (y/n) whine again i’m gonna loose it.” said derek, plopping is papers on his desk. “you like it when i whine.” you teased, causing derek to flash you a toothy grin. “alright! jeez.” you clapped of joy and jumped to help spencer, but he stopped you. “no way, i’m not letting you follow me.” he kept his phone facing away from you, your arms dropping to your sides in defeat. “fine. i’ll find your account somehow.” “we’ll see about that.”

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

over the next few weeks you acquired a few new followers, only one catching your eye. ‘prettyboy187’ followed you on a quiet friday afternoon. the username caught your attention at first, but when you checked is profile? that’s when you were hooked. half of his pictures were just aesthetically pleasing: outside of his window, his extreme sugary coffee, some books. but others...

it was an excerpt of a poem and his hand was holding back the pages. you doubt he meant to capture it so beautifully. just his hand was godly. you wasted no time dming him.

hey :)

how desperate did you look right now? he followed you barley an hour ago. you cant stop staring at that picture.

hello

he didn’t sound happy. well, he didn’t “sound” anything, you guys were texting. but you could feel his tone through the screen. where you overthinking this too much? you shuffled into your bed, wrapping yourself in the covers as you pondered what to say next.

i just wanted to tell you i really like your account. are you a photographer or something?

no, i’m not. my friend convinced me to get this app and i noticed people post aesthetically pleasing photos on here, so i’m just doing the same haha.

ok, well you don’t post nice pictures. at least, not that type. maybe you’d post a picture of the snow or your bed, but every now and then you’d bless the feed with a picture of you in a swimsuit. it was more for opinions on the suit than anything else.

ohh. maybe i should start doing that.

how do you mean?

oh.

that sounded like a very judge-y ‘oh’. your eyes scanned your own profile to see what he could’ve hated. there was you in your favorite red swimsuit, a picture of your computer with netflix on the screen. the rest of the posts were of the same type, so you couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was.

what is it?

no, nothing. your recent picture. that’s a nice swim suit.

oh. that’s what he meant. you practically threw your phone across the room and squealed. thank the universe that he didn’t dislike you already. you shot him another text. just like that, you had your first ever tumblr crush.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“what’s up with you pretty girl?” derek asked when you walked into work. you supposed you still had the blush on your face when pretty boy wished you a good morning and day at work. “nothing!” you said, obviously it being something. as if on cue, spencer walked in behind you also giddy. “what, you’re both sweet on someone now?” when neither of you responded, derek laughed. “what?” emily inquired, taking her seat. “spencer and (y/n) both have a crush.” emily’s jaw dropped. “spencer has a crush?” everyone broke into laughter, jj overhearing and almost dropping her files. “why is that so surprising?” spencer defended himself, derek giving him a ‘you know the answer to that’ look. “well?what’re their names?” he pushed. you bit your tongue. you didn’t even know his name. yikes. “let’s start.” aaron called. saved by hotch. thank goodness. “this ain’t over.” derek warned the two of you. yes it was. by the end of the day morgan would’ve forgotten all about this.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you were right like always. morgan didn’t ask anymore about it, instead offering to get drinks. you turned it down, desperate to get home and text your boy. and you did, only at 11pm.

hey, sorry it’s so late. had a long day at work.

no worries, so did i. listen, i have a question.

this boy only sent messages that would make your heart drop. with a pacing heart, you texted back.

yes?

his ‘online’ button flashes on. then he was typing. then he was deleting. it seemed like hours before he responded.

what’s your name?

godamnit. you didnt have a display name because you didn’t want anyone you knew finding your account. what’s a fake name you can use? maybe...

lila.

why did you pick spencer’s ex’s name? you don’t know. you remember being insanely jealous of her because she got to kiss spencer in the pool while you were posted outside. your crush on spencer was still very much alive, but not as much as it was with pretty boy.

that’s a pretty name.

thanks. now you have to tell me yours ;)

you’ve never been so nervous for a text conversation in your life. for some reason, the back of your head wondered what it would be like if you were texting spencer. it was just a thought, though. spencer would never say half of this stuff.

call me morgan.

oh NO. please no... you stalked his profile again, terrified that you’ve been flirting with your coworker this past month. alas, your eye caught another body picture- this time of his arm. no tattoos like derek. not to mention he was much smaller. not that that’s a bad thing. you don’t think you’d ever be able to handle derek...

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you arrived at work yet again with a blushing face. “come on, you can’t keep hiding this from me! tell me something at least!” derek whined. “okay! his name is morgan. and i know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not you, my boy is much more attractive.” derek’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape in fake offense. “that’s damn near impossible. ain’t nobody prettier than derek morgan.” spencer walked in now, again with a dorky smile on his face. “spencer. (y/n)’s got a crush on-“ you jumped to cover his mouth, the sound of your crush’s name muffled. “what- hey! no fair! derek gets to know but i cant?” spencer whined. derek held his hands up and sat back down, not wanting to get you mad. smart. “three can’t keep a secret.” was all you said before sitting down to clean your workspace.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the new highlight of your day was texting morgan. you learned several things about him; he has a job he can’t specify for personal reasons, he really wants a dog but he feels like animals hate him. you told him about your cat joel, and how they could absolutely love him. he appreciated that.

if i tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?

depends. are you about to tell me you’re a serial killer?

no!

you giggled to yourself at your humor.

i wanna meet you.

you promised not to freak out, but you were freaking out. it was just now setting in that you didn’t know this man at all. where he lived, how old he was, even what he looked like. you took a few deep breaths and asked a question.

where do you live?

quantico virginia.

no hesitation on that one. he lived in the same town as you? you didn’t know how you’d be able to turn this down...

shit, me too. let’s meet up then.

i’ll send you a good place to get drinks.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“every time you walk in here, you’re blushing. now so are your ears.” you beamed at derek, sitting at your desk before spilling. “i’m gonna meet him.” “wait what? are you sure that’s safe?” you rolled your eyes. “i’m an fbi agent. i’m not scared of a little danger.” you playfully winked and derek blew out a huff of air. “if anything happens, you know you can call me.” you pouted at your friend and nodded, appreciating his concern. spencer was spinning in his seat. “you happy too?” you asked. he only nodded and didn’t elaborate. you we’re going to press on, but hotch called you all in and you lost your chance.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

on rare occasions, the bau got tough cases with very happy endings. this was one of those cases. the plane ride home was extremely joyous and derek offered to get drinks again. this time, everyone accepted (all except hotch). you texted morgan telling him you were going out tonight and you wouldn’t be back till late. you laughed to yourself. it was like he was your boyfriend.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the night was young and you were fairly tipsy. ok that’s generous, you were drunk. you were spending most of your time with penelope and it took you a minute to remember spencer. “ohmygosh! spence!” he was startled at your presence but he gave you that flat mouthed smile of his. “how are you! you’re my favorite scorpio.” you nodded as you said it, as if trying to convince him it was true. “thanks? i’m good. you’re drunk.” he pointed out. “no shit. hey!!! you never showed me your tumblr user! you gotta show me that girl you like, bet you she’s really sexy.” you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, whipping out your phone and snapping a picture with spencer. “what are you doing?” he asked, watching you type. “posting this on tumblr! i want everyone to know you’re my favorite in the world.” he wanted to ask favorite what, but a ping on his phone distracted him. lila posted. he smiled and checked her page.

holy fuck.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“(y/n)?” he asked, not looking away from his phone. “yess?” you responded. “what’s your tumblr?” what is your tumblr? “uhhh..i don’t know, check.” you tossed him your open phone, and his eyes only grew wider. “you’re lila?” the words rang through your ears like a siren. “what?” the word was breathy, you couldn’t add stability to what you said. spencer showed you his phone, ‘prettyboy187’ on the screen. “you’re morgan?” still no confidence in your voice whatsoever. your feelings were supposed to change, you weren’t supposed to like that morgan was spencer. but they didn’t. you didn’t even think about the fact he saw your swimsuit photos. you loved that morgan was spencer, and you still wanted to see him on the weekend. “are you mad?” you asked, not being able to stop yourself from sipping from your glass. “no. should i be?” you smiled. “no. do you still wanna meet up this weekend?” “yes. but i don’t wanna get drinks.” he wasn’t even drinking, why is he complaining. “where should we go then?” “my house.”

[suituuup]

pandemic shenanigans

Chloe discovers TikTok and decides to do a bunch of pranks on her girlfriend

rated: T

word count: 3k

ao3 link

*

It’s the pandemic’s fault. 

Chloe was bored af one day at the start of quarantine, and decided to download TikTok, the app Gen Z has been raving about. Little did she know five minutes on the app could turn into four hours without her being aware and brought procrastination to another level. 

She quickly becomes addicted to cute animal videos (duh) and couple pranks. So addicted that the temptation of trying a few on her girlfriend is too great. 

i. Did you forget what today was

“Morning,” Beca mumbles, rubbing her eye with the heel of her palm as she shuffles towards the coffee pot. While Chloe’s an early bird, Beca rarely makes it out of bed before ten on the weekends, and Chloe is usually already showered and dressed by the time she does. 

She and Beca live in that same studio which they used to share with Amy, until their Australian friend inherited some serious money and moved out. 

It’s been really nice to have an actual bed instead of that crappy pull-out couch. 

“Good morning,” Chloe chirps, craning her neck to accept the kiss Beca brushes to her lips. Beca slides in the chair across hers, pouring some milk in the bowl Chloe’s set out for her, followed by cereals.

(yes, she’s that weirdo who puts the milk first.)

“What?” Beca pauses with her first spoonful halfway to her mouth, finally noticing Chloe staring at her. 

“Did you forget what today was?” She asks with a raised eyebrow, cradling her mug in her hands.

Beca blinks, and Chloe can nearly see the fuck popping up in her brain as panic flashes in her eyes. “Uh, Saturday?” 

Chloe purses her lips, both to appear annoyed and to keep her bubbling laughter in. “Beca.” 

Beca’s nose scrunches up. “I know, I know, gimme a sec. This is not our anniversary, or your birthday, you’re not working today so there’s nothing important regarding your job,” she lists off, her eyes lighting up a beat later. “Oh! Is it this weekend Aubrey’s coming up?” 

“No,” Chloe sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe you forgot.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Beca rushes out, standing up and crossing the distance between them to sit across Chloe’s lap. She kisses her softly, looping her arms around her neck. “I’m sorry. What’s going on today? I promise I’ll make time for it. And I’ll give you a massage tonight to make up for being a bad girlfriend. And we can eat whatever you like.” Smirking mischievously, she adds in a lower tone, “And, I’ll let you do whatever you wanna do to me later.” 

Chloe grins, unable to hold it any longer. “Nothing’s going on, babe. I was just messing with you.” 

Beca’s jaw falls open as she pulls back, glaring. “Not cool, dude!”

Chloe simply giggles, nuzzling her neck and pressing an apologetic kiss to Beca’s skin. “You’re cute when you’re panicking.”

A huffs puffs free and Beca pouts. “Whatever.”

Chloe tightens her hold around Beca’s waist so she can’t get away. “Can I still do whatever I want to you tonight?” 

The whimper that rises from Beca’s throat shoots a chill down her spine. Beca’s cheeks redden and she squirms a little in Chloe’s lap. “Yeah--yes.” 

Safe to say Chloe won’t be uploading that video on TikTok. She also won’t tell Beca this was a Tiktok prank, because this turned out to be a lot of fun and she’s got more up her sleeve.

ii. climb on their lap while they’re busy doing something else

Friday nights are Chloe’s favorite. As none of them work during the weekends, it means they get two whole days of quality time with each other. Tonight though, her highly professional girlfriend needs to take care of a few work things to make sure she can spend a stress free weekend, but it’s been hours, and Chloe is kind of craving some attention. 

Beca’s working on her laptop while sitting on the couch, and after changing into her PJ’s, Chloe unceremoniously curls up sideways on her lap, looping her arms around her shoulders and resting her forehead against the side of Beca’s neck. 

“Oh,” Beca breathes out, setting her computer aside before her arms loosely wrap around Chloe’s body. “Hello.” 

“Hi,” Chloe murmurs back, brushing a kiss to Beca’s neck and releasing a soft sigh of contentment. 

Beca’s hand runs up and down her thigh as she pushes a kiss to Chloe’s hair. “You alright?” 

Chloe hums, forgetting all about her phone propped against one of the shelves capturing the moment to make a TikTok, instead basking in the instant comfort being in Beca’s arms provides. 

Beca peppers her face with soft, featherlight kisses that make Chloe warm from the inside out. She really is a slut for Beca’s affection. “M’sorry I had to work tonight.” 

Chloe smiles. “It’s okay.” She pecks Beca’s lips and brushes her nose against hers. “I’m heading to bed. Don’t work too late, babe.” 

Beca nods, winking softly. “Right behind you.” 

True to her word, Beca slides under the covers less than five minutes later and tugs Chloe’s body against her own. Chloe releases another happy sigh, which is cut-off by a yelp when Beca runs her freezing toes along Chloe’s bare calf. 

“Becs!” She cries, moving away and slapping her arm. “Your feet are freaking icicles!” 

Beca snickers like a teenager, seemingly very proud of her act. 

“Put some socks on.” 

Beca’s nose scrunches up adorably. “Ew. No way.” 

“Then stay on your side,” Chloe grumbles, tugging the covers higher around her as she rolls away from Beca, settling on her opposite side. 

“Sorry,” Beca whispers into the dark, shuffling closer. “I won’t do it again.” 

She feels her resolve break as Beca’s lips trace a trail from her exposed shoulder blade to the side of her neck. She hates her traitorous body for not having any willpower when it comes to Beca’s ministrations. “You better not, or I’ll kick you,” she half-jokes. 

“Kinky,” Beca breathes along with a soft laugh, pressing one final kiss to Chloe’s cheek as she drapes her arm around her middle. “I love you.” 

Chloe laces their fingers and squeezes. “I love you too, weirdo.” 

iii. walking out naked while they’re in a zoom meeting 

“Well what doesn’t he like about it?” Beca’s voice carries from the living-room as Chloe stands in their bedroom, a towel wrapped around her naked frame. 

That video of her and Beca cuddling on the couch blew up, hitting 3 millions views and about 400k likes. The few homophobic comments that popped up were quickly drowned out by thousands of people gushing over their relationship or crying about wanting the same kind of relationship. 

Beca was of course aware Chloe would post that video on the internet and weirdly wasn’t opposed to it. 

“Again?” She hears her girlfriend sigh and steps out, losing the towel as she rounds the corner. “I mean, yeah, sure. I’ll see what I--” 

Beca’s words die on her tongue the second her eyes flicker up from her computer screen. Her jaw drops and her mouth gapes wordlessly for a few seconds. 

Chloe is briefly concerned she might have broken her girlfriend.

“Beca?”  Her boss’ voice carries through the speakers, snapping Beca back to her meeting. 

“Yes, yeah-- um-- sorry, I…” She stammers as her cheeks burn, and clears her throat. Her eyes quickly glance back to Chloe, who is fighting against a string of giggles. “I’ll-- I’ll work on something else, no problem.” 

“Alright, keep me posted.”

Beca nods. “See ya.” She shuts her computer so fast Chloe’s concerned she might have damaged it. “You’re evil,” she mutters, shaking her head. 

“Are you complaining?” Chloe husks, strutting over in her birthday suit and tossing her phone on the couch.

Beca visibly swallows, bracing on Chloe’s waist as she settles down her lap. “Never. But next time try not to give me a heart attack?” 

“Deal,” Chloe murmurs, bending down to capture Beca’s lips in a searing kiss. 

iv. Ask them what they would do if they were at a party and a hot girl came up to them

“Hey Bec?” 

“Mm?” 

It’s a rainy rainy afternoon, the ones Chloe loves as they don’t have anywhere to be, and she gets to chill on the couch with her favorite person while listening to the rain pelting against the window. 

Chloe’s head is on Beca’s lap as she lies on the couch, reading a book while Beca messes around on her phone. Beca has absentmindedly been scratching her scalp, and Chloe was about to fall asleep when she got a prank idea. She discreetly propped up her phone against her mug on the coffee table a minute ago, pressing record. 

“What would you do if you were at a party and a hot girl came up to you?” 

Beca lowers her phone, peering at Chloe over it. “What do you mean?” 

Bending her knees, Chloe shifts to sit up and faces Beca. “What would you do if a hot girl flirted with you?” 

“You know I don’t know when people flirt with me, right?” 

Yes, Chloe does know. She lost count of how many times she’s flirted with Beca over their four years of friendship pre-getting together without Beca having a freaking clue. 

“Okay, but still,” Chloe clears her throat and straightens a bit from her slouched position, tucking her legs underneath her. “Let’s say you’re at a party, and I’m a random girl, not your girlfriend, alright?” 

Beca rolls her eyes but nods anyway, setting her phone down and angling her body towards Chloe a bit more. 

Chloe props her elbow on the back of the couch and cradles the side of her head in her palm as she smiles softly, getting into character. She reaches out to run the tip of her pointer finger along Beca’s forearm while keeping her gaze locked on hers, her teeth racking over her bottom lip in an over-the-top flirty move. “Hi.” 

“Hey you,” Beca murmurs with a small smirk, leaning closer a little. Chloe swats the back of her head. “Ow! What was that for??” 

“It’s not me,” she reminds Beca as the brunette rubs the spot with a glare. 

“Sorry, it’s just hard to remember that with those eyes of yours,” Beca laughs. “I can’t focus, they’re pulling me in.” 

“Aw,” Chloe beams. She leans in to peck Beca’s lips, raising an eyebrow when Beca pushes her away. 

“Dude, I’ve got a girlfriend.” 

Chloe rolls her eyes, shoving her as Beca laughs. “Touché.” 

v. ask them if they still get butterflies

“Bec?” 

“Mmm.” 

Spring morphed into summer. A hot, sticky and humid summer. The pandemic is still very much a thing, and Chloe can’t even tell you what day of the week it is anymore. To make things worse, their AC is down, which is why they find themselves on the rooftop of their apartment building that evening, laying on a couple blankets as they stare up at the night sky. Chloe misses the hundreds of stars she would gaze at when she was a kid in Oregon, but she sort of finds the steady sound of cars passing by in the street below them soothing. 

Or you know, maybe it’s the joint she smoked twenty minutes ago with her girlfriend that is finally hitting her. 

“Do you still get butterflies?” 

Beca’s head rolls to the side so she can look at her. “Still?” She asks, smirking softly. “They never left.” 

Chloe giggles, shoving her lightly. Beca is known to grow sappy and affectionate when she’s high, and Chloe absolutely loves it. “Dork.” 

“Felt them just this morning when you were singing in the kitchen while making breakfast and almost pinched myself because I still have to wrap my head around the fact that I get to marry you.” 

Chloe does a double-take as she registers Beca’s words. “What?” Her voice is barely there, hidden under the layers of emotions seizing her throat. 

“Well… yeah,” Beca shrugs, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re like, it for me, you know?” 

Moments where Beca splits herself open like that are rare, and they never fail to make Chloe’s heart soar. 

“Are you going to say something Beale or keep staring at me like a weirdo?” Beca eventually quips, chuckling softly. 

Chloe shakes her head a little, then leans forward to push a lingering kiss against Beca’s lips. “I love you, future wife.” 

She feels Beca sigh contentedly as she curls up against her side, her arm wounding around Chloe’s back. “I love you, too.”

vi. sigh loudly in front of them

“What’s wrong?” 

It’s day two hundred something of quarantine. Chloe is bored out of her mind. 

“Nothing,” she whispers, keeping her tone unconvincing on purpose. She’s lying on the couch while Beca sits at the end working on her computer, a Friends rerun playing low on the TV. 

Beca shuts her computer and sets it on the coffee table before crawling up Chloe’s body and settling on top of her. She presses a light kiss to the side of Chloe’s neck. “You sure?” 

“Mhm,” Chloe hums, looping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. 

“I can stop working,” Beca suggests softly, placing another kiss to her chin, then to the tip of her nose. “Wanna go grab some Chick-fil-A? Then we can watch one of those cheesy rom coms that you like.” 

“M’okay,” Chloe agrees quietly. “Can we just cuddle for a bit?” 

“Yeah,” Beca breathes. “Course we can.” She settles her head on Chloe’s chest, lifting it a second later. “Wait, is this a TikTok thing?” Upon Chloe nodding, she groans. “My reputation is taking a blow with each one of those, you know that right?” 

A giggle bursts past Chloe’s lips. “I’m sorry, your what?” 

That earns her a glare. “Bite me, Beale.” 

vii. wipe their kiss away

“I hate this fucking pandemic,” Beca grumbles as she makes it inside, kicking the door shut with a little more force than necessary. “I hate those Karens who don’t wear masks,” she continues as she hoists her two grocery bags on the kitchen counter. “Scratch that, I just hate people in general.” Beca eventually takes off her mask, heaving out a sigh as she drops it onto the counter. “Finally.” 

Chloe smiles in amusement, walking over to start putting the groceries away. “Thanks for going out, babe.” 

“No problem.” She pecks Chloe’s lips on her way to store the yogurt in the fridge, doing a double-take when Chloe wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Did you just… wipe my kiss away?” 

“What? No I didn’t,” Chloe replies innocently. 

Beca stares at her, cocking an eyebrow. “Was it not up to your standards or something?” 

“I mean…” Chloe shrugs nonchalantly. “It was just a peck.” 

“Mmm.” She resumes her task, closing the door to the fridge behind her before making her way over to where Chloe is standing, setting her hands on her hips from behind and coaxing her to turn around. 

“What are you--” the rest of her sentence is cut off by a moan as Beca’s lips capture her own. Chloe’s knees wobble from the heat of the kiss, its intensity sending shockwaves throughout her body, all the way down to her toes. She’s left in a daze by the time Beca pulls away, blinking twice in slow succession as she rolls her swollen lips together. “Holy shit.” 

Beca puffs out her chest a little, smirking. “That’s better.” 

Groceries forgotten, Chloe slides her hand into hers and drags her to the bedroom. 

viii. call them your spouse during a phone conversation

“I’m home,” Chloe calls out as she steps inside their studio apartment. She pauses in the doorway, taking in her surroundings. 

Their small kitchen table is beautifully set, two candles lit on each side and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers sitting in the center. Soft acoustic music is playing through Beca’s portable speaker. “Hey, you.” 

“What’s all this?” Chloe asks, smiling brightly as she slings her purse off her shoulder, setting it down. 

Beca approaches, a sheepish smile spreading across her features. “Well… because of this freaking pandemic, we haven’t been out in months, so I thought we could just do a home-date. I ordered from your favorite sushi place, should be here any minute.” 

“Aww.” Shrugging off her jacket, Chloe steps up to place a soft kiss to Beca’s lips. “You’re sweet. And very sexy,” she adds with an eyebrow waggle, taking in Beca’s fancy jumpsuit and hairdo. “I’m gonna go change real quick.” 

Chloe hurries to the bedroom and opens her closet to pick something; she can’t remember the last time she wore a dress, her main outfit having consisted of a hoodie and sweatpants for the better part of the year. Plucking her navy blue, knee length dress out, she changes into it and takes ten minutes to arrange her hair and put on light make-up. 

Beca is on the phone as she steps back out into the kitchen, grinning when Chloe appears. “Yep, got it. Listen, I gotta go, my wife and I are about to eat dinner.” 

Chloe freezes mid-step, her heart stuttering as she registers the term Beca used. 

“Sorry about that,” Beca says once she’s hung up, casting Chloe a smile as she sets her phone down. 

“You just called me your wife,” Chloe murmurs, her eyes shrinking suspiciously a beat later. A gasp follows when it hits her. “Wait, are you TikTok pranking me??” Her gaze quickly sweeps the room. “Where’s the camera, Mitchell?” 

Beca simply grins, shaking her head as she reaches for something in her pocket. “Not a prank, babe.” 

Shocked eyes lifting from the square velvet box nestled in Beca’s palm, Chloe watches as Beca steps closer and lowers herself on one knee. Her heart trips dangerously and she stops breathing altogether. “Bec, you better not be lying.” 

The way she seems nervous all of the sudden tells Chloe this is definitely not a prank. “Chloe--” 

“Yes,” Chloe croaks out, tears pooling in her eyes as her head bobs up and down in a frantic nod. 

Beca’s chuckle comes out strained as she blinks back the moisture in her own eyes. “Dude, let me ask the question at least.” 

“Sorry.” Chloe clamps her lips together and squeezes Beca’s hand to wordlessly let her know she may keep going. 

“Chloe,” Beca repeats, her voice wavering slightly. “This year has been weird as fuck, and the most challenging one yet, but despite everything, I had a near constant smile on my face because of you. You’re my best friend, and the most beautiful person I know, inside and out.” She sucks in a deep breath through her nose, letting go of Chloe’s hand to open the box. Chloe gasps softly at the sight of a simple, yet elegant oval cut diamond set on a rose gold band. “Will you make me the happiest person on earth by accepting to become my wife?” 

“Yes.” She tugs on Beca’s hand, capturing her lips in a searing kiss as soon as she straightens. “I love you so much.” 

Beca grins against her mouth, backing away just enough to seek out Chloe’s eyes. “I love you, too.” 

As she stands there basking in this new, overwhelming wave of feelings, Chloe decides that 2020 wasn’t that bad, after all. 

[avengerscompound]

Running to a Standstill - 16

Running to a Standstill: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1849

Rating:  E

Warnings: Canon typical violence

Synopsis: While on the run from an unknown organization trying to take your son, you meet two super-soldiers.  While they try to help you get to the bottom of who is hunting you and your son, feelings come out and admissions are made that make your personal life even more tricky.

Chapter 16

By the time you and Bucky got home, Geo was awake again.  Bucky had given him a punnet of blueberries to eat on the elevator ride up. As soon as the three of you arrived at Steve’s apartment, the toddler jumped out of his stroller and carried the rest of the berries to the coffee table where he immediately started playing with his Lego.

“Good.  You’re back,” Steve said, approaching the two of you.  “Honey, I can’t say too much.  But we’ve finally got a solid lead on who has been hunting you.  We have to act quickly and hit hard. We’re leaving Hill, Agent 13, and some agents here.  There’s also some of the Iron Legion.  Stay put.  You’re safe in the building.  Don’t order food to be delivered.  There’s the common room and a cafeteria on four if you don’t feel like cooking.  If Geo gets bored, get FRIDAY to take you up to the party deck or the pool, but do not leave the building for any other reason.”

Bucky was used to Steve in the ‘take-charge, voice of authority’ mode he got into when he had slipped on the Captain America persona.  Bucky had always taken comfort in it.  When Steve was like this, as dumb as he might seem, Bucky trusted he had some kind of plan of attack.  The look in your eye told him that you weren’t as comforted as Bucky was.

You had the wild-eyed look of a cornered animal, not sure whether to lash out or run.  Steve put his hand on your arm and looked in your eyes.  “This is it, sweetheart.  We do this, and you’ll be free from it.  You just have to trust us for a little longer.”

You nodded, and he kissed your forehead.  “You stay safe.”

“You too, Steve,” you said quietly.

Bucky ruffled Geo’s hair and kissed your cheek.  “We’ll see you soon, okay?”  He said, hoping he sounded optimistic and comforting.

“Okay,” you said, obviously not buying it.

He looked back over his shoulder as he left the apartment following after Steve, seeing that you’d gone to sit with Geo.  Something on his face told him you were going to prepare to run.

“You might need to tell Hill that she’s a flight risk,” Bucky said as they both got on the elevator.

“She knows,” Steve said.  His jaw was clenched, and it twitched slightly.  It was hurting him knowing how scared you were and that that fear was potentially a little more potent than the bonds you’d formed with them.

Bucky rubbed Steve’s shoulder.  “We’ll end this.  Tell me what’s going on.”

The doors opened on the armory, and they both strode in and started suiting up.  Clint, Natasha, and Sam were all in there, getting the last of their gear.  It looked like they had already been briefed, and they were just waiting for Bucky to get back.

“The intel came back,” Steve said, as he pulled on his body armor.  “The drugs trace back to the Madripoor government.  Three manufacturing plants control distribution.  It all goes back to their current ruler.  Ophelia Sarkissian, or as she is also known, Viper, the current head of HYDRA.”

“So it was HYDRA?”  Bucky asked, buckling the last few straps on his suit.

“Yes,” Steve said, picking up his shield.  “Though not originally.  IGH was its own thing.  When Jessica Jones broke up their operation, HYDRA swooped in and collected up the scraps.  With the work they gathered using Loki’s scepter, paired with what they found from IGH, they were able to re-create a drug similar to the combat enhancers that IGH were selling to the American Military, but with more erratic side effects.  It looks like they want Geo to see if they can work out how to make a more permanent drug.”

“So, what’s the plan?”  Bucky asked, shouldering the last of his weapons.

Steve indicated to the door and Bucky, and the others followed him back to the elevator.  “We’re going in teams - four in total.  Three will be hitting the manufacturing plants,  the other - Castle Madripoor.  Each team will have additional agents with them.”

The elevator stopped, and they got out onto the landing bay.  One jet was ready for take-off, and the other three were being prepared and waiting in a queue to use the launch pad.  Everyone gathered around Steve.

“Team one is Sam, Wanda, and Clint,” Steve said, speaking to everyone but without breaking his flow with Bucky.  “Two are Rhodey, Natasha, and Bruce.  The third will be Bucky, Vision, and Tony.  Your groups will be the ones hitting the plants.  It’ll be important you not let anyone get out and get as much data as you can.  Carol, Thor - you’re with me.  The full briefs will be given on the jets.  We know HYDRA.  They are good at spreading roots.  We need to rip it all out in one go.  If they have any of this hiding elsewhere, we need to find it.  Any questions?”

When no one spoke up, the teams all split up.  Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm before he went to his Jet.  “Be careful, Buck,” he said.

Bucky smiled and pressed his forehead against Steve’s.  “You too.  We’ll get them.  We stopped them coming for Wanda and me.  We’ll stop them coming for her too.”

Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath before breaking apart and heading to his jet.  Bucky ran to the plane his team was using. They were already in place and waiting for him.  Tony was in the cockpit with one of the agents Bucky had seen around; he thought her name might be Jacobs.  “Finished making kissy faces with your boyfriend, Barnes?”  Tony said and started flicking switches, preparing to take off.

Bucky put his machine gun into one of the racks and sat down, buckling himself into the jumpseat.   “So, what’s the plan?”  He said.

“Me and Viz are gonna jump out before we get in sight of the island and go ahead.  Viz is going to stealth in, get the data.  I’ll come in after - seal off the place.  You and the rest, land, and circle in and lock everything down,” Tony explained.  “Should be a piece of cake.  The castle is going to be the bitch, but Cap squared should be able to handle it.”

Bucky nodded and sat quietly, letting himself fall into the dark space he always went into when he had to fight.  He was a little worried about going back to you when he was done with this.  It still took about a week to shake off the soldier after a battle like this, and you hadn’t seen him like that.  Overriding that was the concern that you wouldn’t be there at all.  He couldn’t help but worry that he’d get back home, still in the winter soldier headspace, and he’d find you and Geo missing.  He didn’t quite know how he’d survive that.  Or at least the him that had started to heal and feel worthy since you, Steve, and he had started seeing each other.  That soft part of his person that was so fragile and so hopeful would never see the light of day again if that happened.

By the time Tony and Vision had left the jet to hit first, Bucky was buried in the dark zone of the soldier.  Aware of every flicker of movement, every sound made, every color in the room, yet not at all attached to his emotions.  Like he was an empty shell that processed the physical and nothing else.

The jet landed, and Bucky led the team out the cargo bay hatch.  “Branch out, we’re going in on all sides,” he ordered.  The agents followed his instruction, circling the factory. 

The sound of fighting was already loud, making him sink further down into that place inside him that HYDRA had made.  Tony circled overhead, and a series of explosions rocked the nearside of the factory.  Bucky shouldered his machine gun and ran.

Armed guards met him at the now destroyed fence around the facility.  Other workers were running around wildly, but from the looks of it, it didn't take too much to get them to drop to the ground and surrender.

The guards were more difficult.  They had HYDRA tech, and there were a lot of them.  Bucky wasn’t concerned.  He never was when he got into this state.  He had a mission - he would complete it.  Besides, he knew HYDRA better than he knew himself.  He knew how they fought.  He knew their weapons.  He knew how to take them down.

He moved quickly and without hesitation.  He shot two guards before he even reached the factory.  He leaped over the remnants of the fence and took out three more.  He ducked behind a wall and tossed a grenade at a truck that was barreling toward some agents.

A wall exploded nearby, and Bucky ran to the hole, jumping through it.  Some HYDRA goons were inside shoveling pills into their mouth.  Bucky took each of them out and ducked to the side as someone came charging at him.  They lumbered through the wall and out the other side.  “Stark,” Bucky called over the comms. “They’re taking the pills.”

“Shit,” Tony cursed.  “I’ll take care of the supers; you see if you can secure the drugs.”

Bucky moved through the room, taking out anyone that behaved aggressively, putting anyone else in cuffs.  Outside he could hear the battle.  It was already dying out.  While the plant was guarded, it wasn’t a military stronghold.  Bucky moved to an elevated position and watched over the room.  Another guard made a play for the drugs, and he took them out with his sniper rifle before they reached them.  Besides that, the room remained quiet.  The sounds from outside started to die off and then went silent.  A few agents came in and began rounding up the people in cuffs, but Bucky stood and waited.  He had a mission, and he’d stand here until it was done.

Tony flew in and landed next to Bucky.  “Hey, robocop,” he said, his visor sliding back.  “Vision’s still downloading the data.  We’re doing a cleanup.  We kinda need to be quick because this is technically an act of war.  They’re breaking international law, but they’re gonna retaliate.”

Bucky nodded, watching as even more agents came in and began packing up the drugs and equipment.

“You gonna be okay watching this?  I’ll go patrol.  We should be fine given there’s an attack going on on the castle right now,” Tony said.

Bucky nodded again.  “You heard anything?”

Tony clapped him on the shoulder.  “The other factories are ours.  Still working on the castle.  Your boyfriend is fine so far.”

Something relaxed inside Bucky.  He didn’t say anything as Tony took off again, and even as he stood there, keeping watch of the operation, a small smile cracked through the hard exterior as he realized that he did still have that soft part of him, even now.

// NEXT

[bubble-tae]

BTS as Boyfriends

Namjoon

• Really just enjoys your company 

• Being in the same room but doing two different things like folding laundry or reading, as long as you’re there 

• No conversation is a stupid conversation 

• Even the light ones hold a lot of value 

• Has a lot of weird theories about people and the world 

• Listening to him is fine, but being able to keep up an intellectual report is preferred 

• On the flip side he’s such a goofball 

• Gets confused about simple things like how to open the lock on the front door 

• Spends a lot of time showing you cute baby animal videos 

• Talks about the future often 

• Marriage/kids/growing old/etc 

• Always obsessed with some new quirky phone game

• If it’s multiplayer he will make you download it too 

• Date nights are always just at home 

• Why go out when you can stay in and play board games? 

• I imagine you both reading in bed at night and talking about if the book sucked or not 

• Intimacy is a private thing 

��� No PDA whatsoever, maybe hand holding but that’s it 

• Your family/friends love him more than you, oops 

Seokjin

• Y’all know the crackheadery that’s going to go on 

• Tries to pull pranks but is bad at them 

• Hypes you up as much as he hypes himself up 

• “Waaaah look at this beautiful couple standing in the mirror, so stunning” 

• Very good at turning your sour mood into a good one 

• He’ll listen to your problems, helps you solve them, and then acts like an idiot until you feel better 

• He’s everyone’s best friend so social situations with him are a breeze 

• Likes double dates 

• Sunday’s are lazy days but boy does he clean up nice for Friday night holy shit 

• It’s all about food all the time. The journey is food. The destination is food. 

• I’m serious if there’s no food at a party y’all are leaving 

• Has a mega sweet side

• LOVES BEING LITTLE SPOON HES NOT ASHAMED 

• Wakes you up with tickles and coffee/tea

• Somehow your pantry always has new bottles of wines in them???? 

• If you drink he wants to try a new one almost every night 

• But is super picky, will dump half the bottle down the drain 

• At the end of the day you’re each other’s number ones 

Yoongi

• Soft baby 

• Not super vocal about affection, more physical 

• Playing with your hands, the sleeves of your sweater, etc 

• Looks of affirmation 

• You’ll be in a room of a group of friends and you’ll catch his gaze and give you a sweet smile 

• Spoil you but in a nonchalant way 

• Give you expensive jewelry without batting an eye 

• But will get embarrassed giving you a small sentimental gift 

• Sharing sweat pants, hoodies, beanies, and everything else that’s big n cozy 

• Will blush when he says he loves you 

• Which won’t be super often but really random, though he means it so fucking much 

• Please give him cheek kisses, it’s his weakness 

• Following asleep with his head on your lap is how he likes to spend his afternoons 

• He’ll send you little beats he’s made just cause 

• Will smile while watching you do something and then pretend he wasn’t when you turn to look at him 

• 100% will compliment your mind more than your physical appearance but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the way you look 

• Overall just a quiet boy full of love

Hoseok

• Y’all never stop talking 

• Like living together is a nightmare cause you talk all night 

• He’s hyper with most but is super gentle with you 

• Like loud and bubbly in public but whispers cute things in your ear 

• Will always come home from any store with things for you 

• Like he’ll go out for eggs and come back with 10 of your favorite sweets 

• Plays music REALLY LOUD 

• Wants you to dance with him so he can spin you around the room 

• A new album will drop from his favorite artist and he plays it at home and in the car and on his speakers and everywhere he can until you’re sick of it 

• Wants to adopt every puppy he sees 

• You’ll have to drag him out of the pet store 

• Online shopping for clothes 

• There are always packages showing up at the door, you think he has a problem 

• But there’s stuff in there for you too so you don’t complain 

• Tries to be romantic but doesn’t really get it ? 

• Like lighting lots of lavender candles but almost burns the house down 

Jimin

• TOUCHY 

• omg he wants physical contact all the time 

• Kissing your hands, cheeks, shoulders, any part of your exposed skin honestly 

• Will always want his hair played with 

• Like will let you do dumb little braids and ponytails or whatever you want for fun 

• Wants to take you out all the time for dinners and dates 

• You’ll probably start watching a bunch of series together but never finish any of them

• Brutally honest 

• If he thinks an outfit doesn’t look good he won’t sugar coat it 

• Ultimate hype man though when you’re rockin’ it 

• Like mini fashion shows at the store the employees get so sick of you 

• Spoils you with jewelry 

• There’s no need to have all these diamond bracelets but he can’t help himself 

• You’ll go on and on about something you really enjoy and even if he doesn’t get it he’ll listen 

• If someone says anything bad about you he will sass them, no fists just harsh words lmao 

• Jealous type so please give him lots of attention

Taehyung 

• Words of affirmation 

• Calls you cute no matter what you’re doing 

• You could have the worst cold and he’d say your mucus-sneeze was adorable 

• Weekend walks at the park

• ^Stopping to take a picture with every lizard/frog/insect you two see 

• Going out for coffee but steals yours cause he likes it more 

• Begs you to stay up to watch the stars 

• Falls asleep before they even come out

• Whines about it the next day until you kiss it better 

• Tries to cook for you but is so bad at it

• But you’ll eat his burnt steak cause you love him for trying 

• I feel like he leaves sticky notes everywhere of just doodles??? They don’t even say anything he just gets bored 

• Will laugh at your cheesy jokes 

• Doesn’t know what to do when you’re mad like he just goes full baby mode 

• When he’s upset he gets all pouty and just wants to be held 

• ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MUSEUM DATES 

• Deep talks about art and the universe that you won’t remember the next day 

• Maybe I’m hyper biased but just a good ole boy 

Jungkook

• meme king 

• Sends you everything he thinks is funny 

• If you aren’t following his Twitter is it even love 

• Anime watch parties 

• Will make you dress up as dorky characters for Halloween 

• Forgetful 

• Like “oh shit it’s our anniversary??” But will make it up to you the next day

• He’s such a classic romantic 

• Flowers and chocolate and heart shaped lockets 

• The lockets are matching, of course 

• Wants a secret couple tattoo 

• Will cry during romantic movies 

• Insistent on doing everything because he’s always babied and wants to be able to baby someone 

• Gets absorbed into trying to learn a new skill so often that you can barely keep up 

• Last week it was the cinematic history of horror and this week it’s managing stocks for beginners??? 

• Honestly loves it when you watch him play video games 

• Will love it more if you get frustrated with how bad he is and take the controller/keyboard from him to show him how it’s done 

• Doesn’t have to be older than him but loves strong/powerful women 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #480

“the doomsday clock was made by mankind”

Do you support PETA? No, because they are WAY too extreme. Have you ever lied about your gender? No. Have you ever had escargot? NOOOOOOOO. You couldn't pay me to try that shit. Have you played Breath of the Wild? No; Zelda games aren't my thing. I've watched Game Grumps play it, though. At what venue was the last concert you attended? Idr, somewhere in Raleigh. Who was playing at the last concert you attended? Alice Cooper. Maybe one day I'll have a new answer, lol. Do you have any anniversaries coming up? No. Would you try grapes on a pizza? Holy fuck, ew. Have you ever tried an oyster? How would you describe the experience? Oysters look fucking disgusting. Never. Has anyone ever specifically painted you a painting? Not a painting, no, but I've had drawings made for me. Would you ever want to try pole dancing? Nah. Have you ever had any sort of paranormal experience? Yes. Have you ever gotten something stuck in your skin? (ie: glass shard, gravel) Yeah, like splinters. And graphite. Do any of your grandparents live a nursing home? They're all deceased, but none did. Do you have a USB drive that is shaped like anything unique? No; mine is just a solid hot pink. What country would you like to visit most? South Africa. Whose birthday is closest to today’s date? (someone you know) Girt's birthday is the 10th! Do you know anyone in another country? I have Australian and European friends, yes. Have you ever wanted to be on a game show? Not seriously. Do you believe taking a picture of someone is taking a piece of their soul? Ha, this question makes me think of the quote from SOMA. Anyway, no. Do you have any friends with the same first name as you? No. How many states have you lived in? One. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles, so I can spread peanut butter on them. :') What is the saddest book you’ve ever read? Johnny Got His Gun. ZERO competition. What political cause are you most passionate about? Probably LGBTQ+ rights. Really just equality in general. Have you ever considered having children? The only time I've ever in my life thought I wanted kids was when I was with Jason. Hell, I wanted two or three. Now I'm just like... nah man no thank you. Have you ever considered acting? No. Who was the last person you slept next to? Sara. Do you think you can be in love and still cheat on your S.O.? Ha, no. What is the most embarrassing thing anyone has on video of you? I dunno. Did you ever get lost as a child? Once at the grocery store. A sweet old lady helped me find Mom. Do you know how to play any card games? The very basic ones, and Magic: The Gathering. What are you currently most looking forward to? Mom to feel better so Girt can come over. What is the best television show you’ve ever watched? Hm... Fullmetal Alchemist has a pretty bangin' story. What color are your parents’ eyes? Brown. Are you more dependent or independent? I've very dependent, honestly. Are there any stuffed animals in the room you’re in? Yeah, loads. I have a shelf full of my meerkat collection. Do you love animals? I adore them. I quite frankly don't like anyone who doesn't, because... how. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two? Who made you mad last? My mom. She said something that just really hurt my feelings. How long was your last shower? It was longer than usual because standing, taking steps to turn, propping my legs up, etc. was fucking excruciating because my feet, ankles, and calves were so swollen. It's so fucking infuriating; in a previous survey I mentioned "oh it's because my body isn't used to getting up and down so much! it's improvement! :D", but no. The swelling was from sitting too long at the desk. My legs are so used to being propped up from being in bed that it caused edema when I was finally sitting. I went back to my fucking bed now because Mom mentioned that it could get extremely dangerous if the fluid buildup got too severe. And of course now that I'm back in bed, the swelling is receding. I can't fucking win. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, I think the haircut I had before this current one was pretty bad, but at least it showed me I'd like short hair on myself. What’s your favorite DIY crafts YouTube channel? I don't watch DIY. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? At this moment, just give me the magic answer to losing all this fucking weight and getting in shape and being happy. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I forgive too much. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English and most science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Was your first car used or new? I haven't had my own car yet. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a fan in your room? I have two. Have you ever hatched an egg? In elementary school, as a class. It was a chick. :') I think it was in kindergarten? Would you like to go to a fortune teller? No, because I wouldn't support them spouting bullshit and lying to people. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No. I've actually been craving gum for a long time now... For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: My feelings towards them? Jason: Remorseful. Tyler: Eye roll. Sara: thankful. Girt: love. Do you have “friends” that you actually hate? That's some juvenile shit. No. Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? Gimme both, but if I had to pick, a tattoo. If you’re dating someone, how long has it been? It's been just shy of a month Feels a lot longer. If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? Not shave my entire head, no. Do you live by a forest? Not anymore. :/ Do your parents drink? My dad is a recovered alcoholic, so he doesn't touch it anymore. Mom only drinks lightly for special occasions. Does downloading music without paying make you feel guilty? Yes, and yet I do it anyway. :x Does your house have air conditioning? Yes. What do you believe in more: Ghosts or demons? Ghosts. I don't believe in demons. Do you think they’re making too big of a deal over Michael Jackson’s death? Old survey is old, but no, not really. He was an absolute pop icon that was deeply loved by millions and millions and inspired the genre deeply. I wasn't even a big fan and yet I felt for those who were. French fries or onion rings? The former. I don't like onion rings. Favorite healthy snack? Um. I suppose apple slices w/ peanut butter, especially lately. Or strawberries. ]If you see a bee in your house... are you going to kill it? Bees honestly scare me, so I'm not touching it. Mom will have to get it, and I know she would kill it. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, and it didn't feel weird. If your best friend grabs your hand, what do you automatically do? I'd look at her and ask what's wrong. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? No, especially if the person is taken. Can grills be sexy on a guy? Grills are unattractive on everyone. Have you ever flown first class? Ha, yeah right. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick around for years upon years. Some I think I'll never forget.

[nehawriter16]

March 19, 2021 1:08 am

At first, the loneliness was a burden. A soaking wet umbrella that kept getting turned over in the wind, and proved to be a nuisance instead of a necessity.

And then, as the weeks passed, it turned into an acquaintance. I would acknowledge it with an, “Oh, there you are,” when it sauntered into my brain without invitation. We fell into a routine – as soon as the sun set (and in New York in the winter, it sets pretty damn early), I would find my brain filled with a darkness, like a dementor had suddenly appeared in my vicinity and was sucking the happiness out of my soul.

I thought about calling the ex boyfriend who had cheated on me last November and screaming at him, like this is all your fucking fault. I thought about downloading Hinge and swiping through the abyss of men, but they were all strangers. Mostly I thought about calling a boy who lived a 30 minute train ride away and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.

I couldn’t sleep unless I had had two glasses of wine. I would crawl into bed and sob just to exhaust myself with something. I would stay up, reading Sylvia Plath and Dolly Alderton and Ottessa Moshfegh and Jenny Slate until my eyes drifted shut for a few hours of respite. I felt seen by these women – they were almost proud of their raging complexity, and they were also very alone in it. But it never lasted more than 4 hours. I would wake up with my brain racing and toss and turn until I had to get out of bed.  

I would leave the house with nothing but my swollen eyes showing and take arm sized cappuccinos as my only companion to benches in Central Park. I filled up a journal with thoughts until my fingers froze over. I would cross the street when I saw a couple that looked too perfect.

Deep down, I had hoped that love would be easy to find in New York. We were 1.6 million people crowded onto an island, and half of them were men.

One night I hurtled from a party at my friend’s house near the park to a boy’s apartment a few blocks away. When he opened the door, I looked at him wild and desperate and said, “Hurt me.” I took an Uber home at 1 am after we were done and when I went to take a shower in the morning, I saw bruises covering the entirety of my chest. I watched them turn black and blue and yellow over the next week, and never texted him again.  

On another night I went out with someone from college, and I hated every second of it. Conversation was dry and I found myself wanting to pretend to go to the bathroom and abandon him there. But I smiled through my teeth and only released the breath I’d been holding when I got into the subway back to my apartment.

The antidote to my loneliness – and I’m not embarrassed to admit this – was love. I wanted to find another human being to be that ridiculously mundane kind of domestic with. To make pizza with and eat it in front of the TV. To smile at through a toothpaste filled mouth. Somebody I didn’t even have to ask before I hoisted my tired feet into their lap. Somebody who never closed a door on me without first planting a kiss on my forehead. Somebody I could sob in front of and then, 5 minutes later, be laughing with because they had cracked some hilarious joke because they understood my sense of humor.

A lump forms in my throat as I think about that kind of intimacy. Have you ever wanted something so bad, you’re fucking afraid of it? Because I am. If somebody touches me with kindness, I might crumble.

I feel like an animal that’s been hurt by someone it loves very much. And now I cower in the face of affection, because I feel like the blow is coming right after. And I don’t want to be hurt.

I am going through life doing idiotic things. I texted that boy who wants nothing to do with me – there’s an empty apartment and a carton of beer and me in my lingerie feeling some type of way. And I got back, “I’m at dinner.”

I’m afraid I did that because I knew he wouldn’t take me up on my offer. I would rather chase after an unrequited prospect, because the disappointment is guaranteed, and you can’t expect intimacy, and being treated like shit helps me convince my loneliness that we are good the way we are: we don’t need anybody else, do we? We like it when it’s just us.

This month I watched my thighs get thinner and I felt proud, then felt guilty immediately after. I stopped answering a friend’s calls because he hadn’t been there for me when I really needed him. I stopped taking my vitamins. I vaped too much, I vaped until I was waking up tired and walking made me lose my breath.

I am wondering what qualifies as being ‘okay.’ I’m wondering if I’m even anywhere close to that radius of people. I wonder if everybody’s just lying about being okay. I keep having to calm the escapist in me down, like, “We can’t abandon our real life and run off somewhere.” And yet, I look up train tickets to Chicago and Boston and I find AirBnb’s in the middle of nowhere and I think – let’s fucking go. Not like it would help. My real life and all of its deadlines would still be here. I would still need to wake up on some Monday and look at an overfull calendar and want to scream.

March is almost over. The closest thing I found to love was the iced caramel machhiato at Dunkin. I am tired of everything.  

There is no silver lining. Just little wins, tiny pockets of happiness in what seems like a long drawn out haze of suffering. I wake up and go to work and I drag myself from one task to the next and I am listening to music all the time because the voices in my brain are too loud and I don’t want to hear them tell me how fucked up everything is.

If somebody touches me with kindness, I retaliate. If somebody treats me like shit, I chase after them.

[artificialqueens]

Lemon's Misadventures in Dating, Chapter 4 (Lemon x Rita) - Mermelada

A/N: Bonjour hi! Here is chapter four, trigger warning for panic attacks and anxiety in this one. I promise one day I might attempt some actual smut… maybe. Thanks again for all the lovely feedback and comments, I love you all!

With soft hands against her stomach and the warmth of gentle breathing on the neck of her neck, Lemon hadn’t woken up in such a serene way for a while. She wiggled deeper into the other woman’s embrace, tangling their legs as they spooned. The past few days had been completely out of the ordinary for the young dancer, meeting two, very different women and having an amazing time with both. She had lost count of the number of orgasms she had had, yet it was this silent, calm cuddle which left her feeling most content, inadvertently reminding Lemon of what she missed most from her last relationship.

Things with Rita had started out similarly to her date with Kyne, although this time it felt like Lemon was the one doing all the talking. But rather than looking disinterested, Rita leaned in, focussing on every word, asking short questions to keep her talking. She later realised, however – after two amaretto sours and a shot of tequila – that Rita wasn’t quiet or introverted at all; she was, for some reason, genuinely interested in Lemon’s life. They spent a good three hours at the bar, discussing which animals would be best at which sport, debating which was the best Céline Dion song of all time, and making up life stories for the other patrons. Her thick accent was just the tip of the very sexy iceberg that was Rita, her curves stealing the show in black skinny jeans and a red blouse, her bleached blond hair swept back in a half-up do. After a quick detour to a hot dog stand across the road, the pair made it back to Rita’s modern and spacious apartment, which Lemon noticed was in a very fancy part of town she seldom visited. They wasted no time in doing what they had planned to do all along, which led to the peaceful morning where they now found themselves. As the sunlight crept in through a gap in the curtains, Lemon could feel the body behind her start to stretch out.

“Good morning”, she mumbled sleepily, turning around to face her companion. She came face to face with a line of small bruises along the Québécoise’s collarbone, which she tenderly kissed as she blissfully remembered how they got there. “Did you sleep well?”

“That was the best sleep I have had in a long time” smiled Rita, wrapping her arms back around Lemon’s waist and lightly kissing her on the forehead. “I don’t normally have such a big workout before bed, it obviously helped! How about you?”

“Your bed is so comfy, I slept like a baby” mewed Lemon contentedly, snuggling back into Rita’s embrace.

Gently tracing a finger up and down the blonde’s naked back, she hummed her reply. “It’s funny when people say that, because babies do not sleep.”

“Huh, I mean what are you, a doctor or something?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I’m a doctor.”

Lemon pulled her head back abruptly to look the now puzzled woman in the eyes, her face contorted in shock. “What?! Since when?!”

“Since I graduated med school, I think.”

“Why didn’t you tell me last night?”

“I did!”

“You said you worked in a hospital, those don’t mean the same thing!” Lemon didn’t quite understand why this revelation had caused such a reaction in her, but her mind was going into overdrive. Rita’s an adult. She’s an actual fully-grown, fully-functioning adult with a real job, and look at me: I’m completely worthless. I bet she regrets everything, I told her so much dumb shit last night that she could easily use against me. Maybe that’s why she asked so many questions, to find out just how much of a mess I really am. She’ll go into work tomorrow and tell all her grown-up colleagues about the dumb child she hooked up with and they’ll all have a good laugh about the fucking dumb dancer who doesn’t even dance anymore because she’s so shit. I’ve made a huge mistake. I need to get out of here now, I can’t stay here, I’m going to throw up, I’m…  

“Hey, Lemon, sweetie, look at me.”

Rita moved to kneel beside Lemon’s head on the bed, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. Lemon didn’t even realise how long she’d been silent for or how unsteady her breathing had become, let alone notice the tears which had formed in her eyes or the fearful look which had taken over her face as her inner voice ran out of control. She was frozen. The shorter-haired woman looked worried and she began to gently move Lemon into a more upright position, adjusting the pillows behind her. “Let’s breathe together, Lemmy, okay? Now let’s breathe in, two, three, four, and out, two, three, four…”

The pair continued breathing together, never breaking eye contact for what felt like hours to the younger woman. Rita’s voice was low and soothing, and her touch warmed Lemon right to her core. Eventually, her breathing levelled out and she closed her eyes, not able to stop the sobs which escaped them.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I feel so stupid, I don’t know why that happened, I’m sorry.” She threw her head into Rita’s chest, clinging onto her for dear life. “It’s just… I don’t normally do one night stands but that’s what I wanted last night to be, but you’re being so nice to me and you don’t deserve that. But I know that’s what you wanted too, but you definitely didn’t sign up for me crying in your bed this morning. And you’re an adult with your shit together, and then look at me!”. Rita simply let her ramble through the tears, holding the petite girl in her arms and combing her fingers through her hair. Slowly, she started to shuffle back down the bed, taking Lemon with her, and pulling the duvet back over them. The Québécoise planted tiny kisses on the top of the head of blonde hair still snuggled into her, before bringing her hands up to wipe her wet cheeks with her thumbs.

“Firstly, sweetie, never apologise, please. Brains are really, really, stupid things, they do stupid shit all the time. That’s why I hate brain surgeons, they’re all stupid.” Lemon giggled as she closed her eyes and rested her head once again upon Rita’s chest. “Secondly, I’m really not that old, and my shit is nowhere near together. I’m on Tinder too, remember!” She continued stroking Lemon’s long hair, massaging her scalp so lightly that she thought she could fall asleep at any point. “And one night stands are allowed, you’re not a bad person if you have one, right? But remember you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to, okay? If you’d said, we could have just watched a movie or gone home after the bar, I’m so sorry if I made you do something you didn’t want to.”

Hearing the other woman’s voice break  was Lemon’s cue to turn around and grab Rita’s hand tightly, noticing that now she too had tears falling from her chestnut eyes. “Hey, hey, crying is my thing, okay, so stop that!” she smiled, managing to prise a brief chuckle from Rita. “You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to! In case you didn’t notice, I had a fucking good time! I hope you don’t regret it now?”

Rita laughed again, messily wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “It was tolerable”, yelping as she earned herself a playful kick on the shin. As she extended her arm around Lemon’s shoulders, she wiggled around to find the comfiest position, snuggled into Rita’s side like a koala, head resting between her breasts. “May I ask an honest question, Lemmy?”

“Of course, shoot.”

“Why are you on Tinder?”

Lemon tapped her fingers against Rita’s soft stomach. How much information was she supposed to give? After all that had already happened this morning, she decided that she really trusted the platinum blonde beside her.

“I was with my girlfriend for three years, we lived together, I thought we’d be together forever…” Once again feeling the all-too familiar sting in the corners of her eyes, she stopped and looked at Rita, expecting some form of encouragement to carry on, but of course, the other woman was far far too patient and understanding.

“Don’t worry, sweetie”, she hushed as she stroked Lemon’s shoulder, pulling her in again for a hug. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to say any more.”

“What about you? If you don’t mind sharing,” whispered Lemon from her safety net of Rita’s arms.

The tall woman sighed. “It’s stupid, really. My friends made me download it.” She glanced at Lemon, who nodded for her to continue. “I fell for a colleague, we just got on really well, you know? And not just because she speaks some French or we are the only two queer people in the ward. But they say you shouldn’t sleep where you eat, so they tried to help me find someone else.”

“It’s shit where you eat, but I knew what you meant” smiled Lemon, laughing and recoiling as she felt Rita’s hand make contact with her bare ass. “Sorry! Sorry! So has it worked?”

Silence filled the bright bedroom, broken only by the sound of Rita inhaling through her teeth. “Well, I have met some people, including some very nice people, and there have been some fun times.” Her smile was small, her lips hidden inside her mouth, so Lemon noticed that that definitely wasn’t the end of the answer.

“But…?”

“But…” sighed Rita defeatedly, running her hand along Lemon’s arm, “I still have to see her every day. And talk to her, and work with her, and eat lunch with her, so it is not so easy to forget her.”

They lay together in the same position for a while, neither knowing what to say next. Rita continued to gently stroke Lemon’s arm, and Lemon traced light shapes across Rita’s chest as she listened to the subtle thud of her heart. The writing was already on the wall for any future relationship between them, but Lemon couldn’t face any more serious talk. Besides, they were both still naked in bed together. 

“So if you think brain surgeons are so stupid, Dr Rita, can I ask what your area of expertise is?”

“Nephrology,” smirked Rita, taking in the confused expression in front of her. “Kidney stuff. I love the kidneys!”

“You weirdo!” laughed Lemon, feeling yet another jovial slap upon her right ass-cheek. “Why would anyone want to do that?!”

“Because I love kidneys, I just told you! And I get to play with the big, cool dialysis machines all day!”

The pair smiled warmly at each other, foreheads meeting in the middle of the king-size bed, limbs slotting together as if they’d done so a thousand times already. Lemon placed a wet kiss on the tip Rita’s nose, then her lips, then her chin. “You are insane, your Tinder profile should come with a warning!”

“Would you still choose me if it did?”

“Absolutely.”

[fictionalrambles]

Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Nine

Submitted by Mary Kate 

Sanctuary by @sfjessii​

Why I love this story:

If i have a bad day, i download this, log off and escape into this wonderful world. This is my comfort fic. I adored the way Magnus and Alec had this instant connection. Never too shy to tell the other how beautiful they are, and described so beautifully. Nala, Alec’s dog was such a vital part of this story, i really loved the way the animals were involved, especially the way Nala and Chairman Meow turned into these wonderful characters of theor own. Nala's bond with Alec was beautiful, how she reacted to his feelings, and was a support for him. This story has little bit of everything, fluff, pining, loving, makes your heart burst with love. We had Magnus' family welcoming Alec, then Alec's also welcoming Magnus! Domestic moments, mornings together at the loft, cuddling, making risotto - What’s not to love.

Favourite lines:

[“You buy pumpkins, all kinds, from me, though you’re allergic, you run after me in slippers, you are... really special.” He grins so wonderfully, Magnus can’t but smile, his cheeks suddenly heating up.]

[Magnus adores the way Alec kisses him after a long day. As if he had missed him every minute he was gone, as if he can only wholly breathe, and be at ease, once he’s with him again, as if Magnus is the reason for his happiness, his sanctuary].

[“It’s not to prove our love, or anything like that. You’re right, we don’t need that, and this won’t change anything, except that this is a once in lifetime experience - well, for us anyway - and I want to have that with you, because you’re the one, the only one, and I... really want to see that glorious wedding you planned, and you outshining everyone in your wedding tux when you bawl your eyes out," he smiles, close to tears, and takes a shuddery breath. "But most of all I want to call you my husband].

*

In the Sin Bin by @otppurefuckingmagic​

Why I love this story:

This fic was my introduction to hockey, i knew absolutely nothing about the sport before this and you really don’t need to, because it’s  so well explained in the story. I love the torture of the slow burn before Malec’s first kiss, it was so intense as there was so much anticipation and neither wanted to cross a line but also really knowing that it would eventually happen. Some of the lines in here are absolutely beautiful, and also painfully beautiful like their break-up because the break-up was because the loved the other so much they were trying to protect them which made it even harder and makes it so easy to get lost in this work. There are so many character developments here too but they happen over a period of time and not rushed which i liked and made it feel real and natural. And our protangonists work things out but there are many twist and turns along the way, and a beautiful friendship between Magnus and Max. 

Favourite lines:

[“This is crossing another line, Magnus"

"I don't even know what a line is"]

[You know,” Max called out as he approached Magnus, “it’s a pretty well established superstition that if you sit on the Raziel statue that you’re doomed to an eternity of forced abstinence.”

Magnus practically flew off the base of the statue in front of the Angels’ arena at Max’s words].

[Because there’s someone I’m involved with and I can’t deny his importance in my life—no matter what the consequences are. The blackmail, my parents.... I can let all of that shit go on the ice if he’s at my side. He and hockey are the most important things to me right now. I’m fighting for my pride as a gay man and an Angel, Coach. It’s not an either-or scenario for me—it’s both.”]

  *

Power Play by @bbmonarch​

Why I love this story:

I had originally seen Art for this story on twitter and i was so intrigued that i had to read the story. The content in this story is heavy and at times quite dark and normally content i hide away from but this one i just couldnt stay away, it’s just so well written with complex yet well-rounded characters &  i when i started reading it, i couldn’t put it down, there are two parts to this and i read it all as one and have a sob-fest. But amongst all the darkness there is enough happy/fluffy moments to keep a balance to the story and the deep love that Magnus and Alec have in this universe is one of the strongest i have seen in any other story, part of what drew me to it and why i love it so much. Another thing i liked  is the friendship between Jace and Magnus and that is something i always love in a story, like when Jace was there to look after Magnus, making sure he got back back safe and took care of Magnus so he was there and well when Alec woke up in a certain scene. We get loads of fluffy moments and cute when it was just them, the normally fearsome Alec a blushing mess when Magnus calls him everything from, pup, puppy, munchkin etc. Lastly i loved the way they cared/looked after each other when they were hurt/sick and magnus looking after Alec when he went off the rails and helping him through his addiction was amazingly sweet, even when they had broken up at the time summed them up to me. 

Favourite lines:

[Magnus smiled and looked down to where Alec was ripping the label into small pieces “Sexually frustrated?”  Alec snapped out of his thoughts and stiffened in his seat, Magnus laughed softly “It’s what they say you are if you play with the labels on your bottles”. “I don’t.. I didn’t know” Alec said and pushed the bottle away. “You didn’t know that what it meant or you don’t know if you are sexually frustrated?”]

 [“I love your eyes” He let out before he had a chance to think about what he was actually saying. “Thank you”. Alec could see in his eyes that he was smiling, not needing to take his focus away from them. “Do you wear contact lenses or something?” he asked and tipped his head slightly to the side, shivering a little as Magnus hand moved around to the back of his neck and his fingers played with the shorter hairs, like he was trying to twirl it around his fingertips. “No” Magnus was still smiling “I am just a little special”]

[‘Magnus’s eyes were filled with love as he cupped his face, leaned down over him and kissing away his tears. Closing his eyes, Alec felt Magnus’ lips against his eyelids so softly it was barely a kiss. Alec moved his hands to rest against Magnus’ knees, feel his own heartbeat echo off Magnus’ palms as Magnus pressed his hands against his chest.”]

[Alec reached for his hand and brought it up to his face and gently places a kiss against the back of it. “I love you just the same. There may be a little bit less of you but that just means the left-over love I have is spread out equally amongst the rest of you” he said, sounding adorably cheesy.

“I can’t with you” Magnus laughed, feeling better about himself than he had in a long time, maybe even before everything with Jonathan happened. “I love you so much, puppy”. Seeing Alec’s eyes light up at the nickname, Magnus regretted not using it more frequently].

*

 Love Is Not a Victory March by j__writes and @lecrit​

Why I love this story:

Tried hard to choose my fave stories for this TOP 5 Favourite's and these two writer have some amazing ones and were so difficult to choose from. I planned to have 'Bright Light's Small Town' and 'Take Me To Church' but this collab had such a huge effect that i couldn’t possibly leave it out. Honestly, one of the most beautiful, deep, meaningful stories I ever read about Alec and Magnus because the raw content and these two writers are hard-hitters when it comes to writing angst. Watching these characters pour their hearts out, falling apart, nearly breaking up and divorcing and then realizing their love was stronger than any of it and starting from scratch, building themselves up again, such an amazing thing to see and also is so very real-life. So many things (and people) had got in their way but they finally managed to communicate and begin again. Watching them fall in love all over again was such a pleasure and so beautifully written. 

Favourite lines:

[He wonders how he could have ever forgotten how it felt to fall in love with the wonder and light that is Magnus Bane. He can’t believe he ever let Magnus spend so many days in sadness. That he was the cause of that sadness. There’s so much he needs to make right]

[“There is the rawness of an open wound in their cries, their embrace certainly the only thing keeping them from completely falling apart. The distance between has been washed away,”]

[There is nothing left but the blunt honesty on his features, the same that always leads one of Alec’s earth-shattering declarations. He never seems to realize how the words he utters so candidly can throw Magnus’ whole world off balance while at the same time grounding him to the reality of Alec’s love for him. It is, quite possibly, Magnus’ favorite feeling. “Every time I think I can’t possibly love you more you just–” he shakes his head with a sense of fatality that he seems to welcome gratefully, “– God, I love you so much.”]

 [‘Carefully, he disentangles her fingers from the chain, pressing a quick kiss against her tiny hands. When he is done, he slips the necklaces off his neck and tucks them away in the top drawer, smiling down at her.]

[Three years ago, Magnus had a grim, morose thought that perhaps it had been the universe’s way of telling him that this isn’t what he should have, that this life he had dreamed of was but a dream, meant to remain unreachable like the stars. He has to believe now, no matter how foolish, that there is a star out there, far away from his reach perhaps but forever embedded in his heart, that is looking over him, over them. He hopes she can feel it, the love he had for her, and he hopes she will forgive him, for failing to protect her.]

 *

Set Me in Motion by lemonoclefox

Why I love this story:

Such a wonderful story. It’s different from the others i have listed as in this story, we start off with Alec having a boyfriend before anything happened between him and Magnus but its made very clear that this relationship is at times very one-sided and that this Raj is not the right person for Alec and he didn’t seem to have any interest in Alec’s life outside their relationship and hadn’t even met his family.  The relationship with Alec and Magnus was so natural, realistic and mature, it was obvious from the start they had chemistry but with Alec in a relationship, nothing was ever going to happen between them and they had this lovely charming friendship. And which moved forward after the break-up primarily thorough Alec looking after Magnus and making sure he was eating when he was working too hard, how sweet is that? The communication between the two is something i really love about this too and you always get the impression they’re both on the same page. There’s wonderful fun and humour between the two and even on the business side, in their jobs , they are each other’s biggest supporter, lastly the story has another thing i love in fic, a friendship between Magnus and Jace. 

Favourite lines:

[‘You don't have to sit here and wait for him," he remembers Magnus saying, that first night theytalked. "And if that's what he expects, he's probably not worth it, they never are."]

[“In more ways than one. Even when other stuff was a mess, being with you always just..."He tries to find the words, shakes his head, and Magnus finds the words for him "Made sense," he suggests gently. He turns his head, and he and Alec just gaze at each other for a few moments, the two of them suspended in time].

[I like you," Jace proclaims loudly, throwing his arm over Magnus's shoulders as they end up sitting next to each other in the far back, once the car starts moving. Magnus is squeezed in between him and Alec, and Alec is just gazing happily at his brother and his boyfriend, a drunk smile on his face. "I mean, you're a bit―" Jace gestures exaggeratedly with his hand. "But it's all good. You're alright”]

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[panelshowsource]

you are both silly! i am a goat! 🐐🐐🐐

well taskmaster has always had an art theme — you may have noticed the taskmaster’s portraits in past seasons:

so it seems this series has an “anime” kind of theme, hence the screen, for example. this is pretty standard — you can see in s4 when they did van gogh that there are sunflowers on the table behind hugh. just a little extra way to spice things up!

i thought it was fun! i definitely wasn’t as pessimistic as a lot of other people because i knew joe thomas, iain stirling, and paul sinha would definitely be endearing (i know people were/are on the fence about lou sanders, and i didn’t know sian gibson before tm) and 3/5 is good enough for me, so i’m glad it turned out the group has decent chemistry so far. i loved seeing iain get worked up about the puppets for example; this was the biggest downfall of s6 imo: they just accepted all of the decisions the taskmaster made without really caring how things turned out. i love when there’s a bit of competitive tension! probably why i liked s2 so much, since almost all of them were really points hungry >:) i think this will be a super pleasant series, i’m looking forward to the rest 🖤❤️

ps. it’s not new taskmaster season without a little thirst!! fly that freak flag anon!

that doesn’t surprise me at all, though i never thought of it myself. jen aniston has always been pretty hoighty-toighty, but maybe not in such an endearing way as victoria. but i really enjoy the comparison 😂

oh anon you fell into the pit...welcome... i think i have exactly what you need right now: just desserts!

i’m sorry too anons :((( it’s bittersweet but honestly i have been so impressed by his acting recently (especially journey’s end and howards end) and would be elated to see him really pursuing that more seriously as a matured actor. he really, really has the talent and the more effort he puts into it, the more we will hopefully get to be witness to that! plus this might mean another female host and i would love to see that! we were luck to get so many great years out of him 💙

i don’t anon, but why not use a youtube proxy? there are so many, i use this one on eu4

HAHAHA you think?? hmm interesting... he’s done so many programmes with dara, and i wonder if anyone would describe dara as “witless”? that said, dara was all over the place at that time. who knows, and dm may have even changed his mind since then! i could never imagine him being friends with someone like micky flanagan but alas! as he gets older, he becomes more and more unbothered...and i kind of like it :’)

have you seen james & jupp? sooooo fun and adorable, what an underrated brotp! (three of these files are .mkv so you need to download to watch)

hahaha i haven’t had time to watch it but i promise i’ll let you know when i do! maybe i’ll even make some gifs for it if it’s good quality? i’m so glad to hear you think it’s good! the cast is epic 💘💘

ps. inb4 where can i watch ghosts (oops too late)

live footage of me watching ass sandwich, roisin going in on piers morgan while he tries to defend himself, and ian hislop vs. john prescott:

i’m sorry to disappoint but i promise more vcm content is on its way! the queen reigns!

i will never close the floodgates but what you’ve written is honestly just plain sweet, not the perverted and sinful thirst that some of these animals think is appropriate to anonymously message me at 2pm on a tuesday

hahaha oh anon but he has been kissed! here and here for example, and who could forget a sweet peck from an original panel show otp

they’re quickly becoming my followers’ favourite brotp tbh 😂

oh you’re sweet anon, thank you 💛 i hope the new era of the news quiz can be just as witty and wholesome as it has been with miles, and i wish all the newcomers luck because it really is a welcoming and good programme!

no idea anon! it would surprise me if he hadn’t since he’s been an actor for a long time, but you’d have to ask him ;)

richard says a lot of things just because he wants to be the only one to have said them. of course no comedians came out and said the lineup for tm s8 looked like shit (comparatively), so richard did. of course no comedians asked an interviewee if they wanted a hand made out of ham, so he did did. this is really typical richard behaviour, and tbh i see why some people find it offputting. when it’s completely surreal, and he’s getting comedians to talk about things you could never imagine hearing them talk about, i’m all in and i think it’s a hilarious waste of time. but when it crosses over into the real world, where richard is giving out his political opinions or begging comedians to get him on tv, he just has no tact. sometimes he strikes a good balance and other times he doesn’t. i thought frankie hated him a while back and it might have resolved itself (like it may have with corden), but apparently not lmao (that is a great interview btw and i can’t get over how eloquent he is in his defense of female comedians...i love him...). but i’m glad your positive spin on this ask is that miles can save anything, because i agree and would like to add that spin to this response, hehe! i imagine the reasons frankie hates richard are the same reasons he loves miles ;)

well i’ve seen cold lasagna live three times, so what he said on rhlstp compared to what he explains in that show was really disappointing to me. i understand he couldn’t get into everything that had happened and is currently happening, or do the routine there, but it sounded like he only mentioned “i was suicidal lol” and didn’t really give any context to how he’s been doing (which is not great, unfortunately). obviously it’s not our place to demand information about his personal life, and i wouldn’t want to, but to just briefly mention something like that and then gloss over any details or context seemed like a big misstep to me — tonally and otherwise — and richard clearly didn’t know how to deal with it despite doing a half-decent job with stephen fry a couple of years ago. not that any of us have much faith in richard as a serious interviewer lmao. then they didn’t even brighten the mood much by talking about taskmaster (which richard berated), off menu, or doing many emergency questions... it felt really short and shallow, and i actually found it quite boring ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

you need to see this immediately as an induction into this blog’s official religion whose only deity is The Great Sandi Toksvig

i don’t see it coming up in the usual places — just go here and make a request, and i’m sure you’ll have it by the end of the night :)

anon i think about this EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! i think my first choice would be the same team on bfq tbh but seeing them on the same series of taskmaster would probably change my life. but honestly i’m SO thirsty for this i will take anything. even just david on the new heresy...please god......

lmaooo anon i still laugh about this to this day. i wish i could ask you a million questions about real life father sean lock but i’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate people harassing his kids’ friends for details about his private life lmao i’m just glad to hear he sounds like a good dad and he’s a nice guy!! you’re always free to let him know that we here on the interwebz love him to death

i can’t say for sure anon... i like that she’s so willing to speak up on big panels and take advantage of being thrown to, because a lot of women and/or newbies tend to be polite in this respect and speak briefly when it’s “their turn”. but i really need to see more before i could form an opinion!

hello anon, this is the new world order tag. to be fair, it’s not a panel show, so it’s not very high priority for me, though i do watch it. always been a big fan of frankie!

nope!

f.a.q. // tags // watch links masterpost

[shamelessly4shameless-blog]

We Got Time.

Happy Gift Exchange @godisthedice The prompt you sent was:   Sentinel AU - Sentinel!Ian and Guide!Mickey. Ian is a fragile Sentinel/prone to zoning out because of his bipolar. Any take on the AU you want other than that!  Now I have to confess I have never heard of Sentinel before so I have had to embellish a little but this is what I came up with and I hope you like it :-) 

Mickey has been going to Boys Town for a while. Four months to be exact. At first, he hung back and watched, glaring at anyone who approached him, no matter how hot they were or how drunk he was. After a couple of visits to the same place, a rough and ready bar called Pile Driver with none of the pretty, eclectic lighting and décor of the more popular places on the strip, Mickey decided to try his luck with a blonde, who looked like a redhead under the red bulbs lining the limited seating area.

The sex had been pretty good, not rough enough for Mickey’s liking and over too soon, but it had been a release of sorts and the guy had large hands and solid jaw and was tall as fuck. He had been nice enough and quiet enough that Mickey didn’t immediately get up and leave afterwards. They had a drink, chatted shit and then shook hands and disappeared into the night, going their separate ways without remorse. It had been easy and easy was exactly what Mickey wanted.

Being gay in Southside was not pleasant. Being gay in his father’s household was outright dangerous. It had taken Terry getting a six year stretch for some stupid shit that Mickey didn’t even know the details of, for him to consider seeking out what he wanted so badly.

After the first time Mickey found it easier and easier to get what he needed. He didn’t go off with someone every time he visited, he wasn’t fuckin’ desperate! But if he spotted someone who looked good and didn’t chat shit at him like he was some virginal twink in need of reassurance, then yeah, Mickey might go out back with them.

It’s kinda monotonous and maybe a little less than Mickey truly wants but it satisfies at least a part of whatever the fucked up thing it is inside him and so he keeps going back, wearing his few smart button downs in a random rotation in the hope that no one will notice he always wears the same things. He just about has money for beer, sure as shit doesn’t have money for clothes to impress fairies in dive bars.

On the night when everything changes and Mickey Milkovich’s world gets turned upside down, he is wearing his pale grey button down, the top few buttons undone allowing a glimpse of fitted black tank beneath. He’s wearing dark jeans as usual and steel toe-capped boots, old and frayed so that light sparks off the patches of exposed metal. It could be any of the countless nights he has been there.

He’s on his third beer, getting quietly buzzed and beginning to scan the crowd for potential when he feels it. A wave of confusion and fear, crashing over his mind and lapping at his temples incessantly. Mickey puts his beer down shakily and glances around the club. He can feel whoever it is growing weaker whilst their fear spikes, but he can’t see anyone who looks like they are in distress – every fucker in the club seems to be having a great fucking time so who the Hell ...

The bright white lights from the DJ booth rake up the dancefloor, briefly illuminating the club and Mickey sees them – two men huddled close together, one leading the other toward the exit with a firm hand around his waist. The leader is older, his clothes and manner suggest wealth and there is a wedding band on his finger that catches the light treacherously. The other is young, possibly even younger than Mickey. He’s tall and wearing a thin tank top without a jacket despite it being the middle of winter. His eyes, ringed in dramatic black liner are closed, his mouth slack. Mickey huffs an impatient breath and shakes his head. Another tweeker just got off duty at another club most likely. There have been a few of them lately and if Mickey didn’t value his anonymity here so much, he would definitely be bringing some product to shift to these assholes.

The waves of sudden intense feeling from a random person are nothing new to Mickey, he’s had them for years and normally can ignore them, push them aside and move on with his day without a second thought. This time though, trying to ignore it is like trying to ignore a sharp stone in his shoe. He twists and shifts uncomfortably and shrugs at the fabric of his shirt, suddenly too tight across his shoulders. Whatever is going on, it’s not his business and it’s not going to get him laid, so as far as Mickey is concerned, it is not his problem. The feeling eases up slightly when the young man is out of sight and Mickey takes a shaky sip of his beer, sloshing some of it down his sleeve in the process.

“Shit!”

He bunches the cotton over his hand and rubs the damp fabric against his jeans irritably. A brunette on the dancefloor catches his eye and winks. Mickey gives him a small smirk in return and is about to saunter over when another wave of fear strikes him, it is like a firework, sharp and illuminating the darkness but fading quickly, and Mickey grabs his coat from the barstool and starts running towards the light trail before he can think about it.

The cold air hits him as he bursts out of the club, it burns his chest and stings his eyes and he skids on a patch of ice, arms flailing to keep his balance. He looks around frantically, the guy he is following is pushing out all kinds of garbled anguish and horrible as it is to be feeling it all crowding around in his own head, Mickey takes heart at its presence because it means that the kid is still there. He hasn’t lost him. Mickey walks as quickly as he dares, boots crunching the thin ice underfoot, shattering the surface of frozen puddles. He rounds the corner of the building, heading in the direction of the unofficial taxi pick-up point and sees them up ahead.

The old guy is propping the barely conscious guy up, one hand down the kids pants and running the other over his chest as he kisses and licks his face under a street lamp. In the brighter light Mickey can see just how young the redhead is. He makes a disgusted noise at the back of his throat and stomps toward them.

“Why don’t you molest someone your own age, you jerk!”

Mickey grunts, grabbing the older man roughly and dragging him away, slamming one fist into his gut.

“Ow! Fuck!”

The man twists in Mickey’s grip but can’t break loose and glares at him accusingly

“You’re an animal”

“I’m not the one groping and licking on underage boys, am I?”

Mickey quips back at him, his tone more frustrated than truly angry now that the danger of losing them has passed.

“We’re just having some fun …”

“Shut the fuck up! Now give the kid some money before he calls the cops on you.”

There is a stammer of apologies and a flurry of bank notes and then Mickey tires of it all and shoves the old perv backwards, booting him in the ass for good measure as he scurries away.

“And learn how to run like a dude!”

Mickey yells after him, flexing his fists and stooping to pick up the fallen money. He glances up to make sure the asshole who has just completely derailed his night hasn’t wandered off too far. The boy is slumped on his side in a snow bank, pale lips turning blue with cold.

“Jesus Christ.”

Mickey shakes his head and stuffs the cash in his pockets, abandoning the last couple of notes in his concern. He crouches beside him, shaking his arm far more gently than he usually would in such a situation.

“Hey. Hey! Fuck.”

Mickey runs a hand over his face. There is no way the guy is getting up on his own. Mickey looks around as if hoping some magic wheelbarrow might appear and when it doesn’t, he begins to gather the lanky limbs up from the snow. He grunts with the effort of lifting the unconscious body over his shoulder, one arm wrapped securely around the back of his thighs. The kid might be a skinny little shit but he’s solid and the weight of him is both inconvenient and comforting. Mickey is dimly aware that the redhead might piss on him or vomit down his back but he doesn’t worry about it too much.

Southside is not an impossibly long walk away but it’s enough that Mickey grits his teeth and scowls at the thought of navigating the icy patches of sidewalk and hefting them both all the way back to his house but fuck it, he can’t exactly just drop him back down in the snow for some grey-pubed shithead to take advantage of.

“You call for a yoo-ber?”

Mickey glances up in surprise at the driver of the vehicle but after a moments hesitation, nods affirmatively

“Yeah I called for a yoo-ber.”

He echoes, not realising the drivers accent has thrown the word off. What the Hell does Mickey know about cabs? In his world if you need a goddamn ride, you hitch one or steal one – you don’t download a fuckin’ app and pay strangers for shit you can do yourself.

He bundles the redhead into the back seat and clambers in after him, giving the driver his address and shrugging out of his coat. This is definitely one of the nicer cars Mickey has ever ridden in and in other circumstances he’d slip his hand down the seats to check for lost cash, smokes or credit cards – rich people are almost always careless with their stuff – but today he is focussed on the boy whose eyelids are starting to flutter.

Mickey clumsily throws his jacket over the long pale body and sits back in his seat, thinking what his next move should be. The house should be empty but if it’s not he’s just going to have to make something up, maybe he can say that the guy owes him money and Mickey is going to torture it out of him when he wakes up? It’s flimsy but Mickey can’t seem to think properly. The clarity that had come when his fuckin’ damsel in distress passed out is now waning as he wakes, and Mickey’s head is once again crowded with too much emotional static.

He’s heard of this sort of thing. Every now and then a couple of assholes make the news with it – a Sentinel and a Guide find each other in the big wide world and live happily ever after or some stupid shit like that and everyone goes nuts for it. Mickey had anxiously wondered on occasion if he might be a bit like those freaks but he trained himself to ignore the emotions. One thing that growing up with Terry had taught him was how to push your feelings way, way down inside and never let them slip out into view. Mickey is damned expert at that and it’s served him well but something about the redhead beside him … Mickey couldn’t ignore him and he’s fairly certain it wasn’t just because he is hot. He hadn’t even got a good look at him til they were already outside and sure, the flaming hair and strong, pale limbs are nice, his ass is pretty great, and Mickey may have wanted to trail his fingertips over those high cheekbones but it had been more than that … more forceful than lust. The urge to protect and …. Mickey shuts the word ‘Guide’ down in his head before he can even fully think it. Fuck that. It’s all bullshit anyway … probably.

The cab pulls in outside the Milkovich house and the driver shakes his head in confusion when Mickey tries to shove some crumpled dollar bills at him.

“It is charged to your card, Mr Green.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah. Thanks.”

Mickey nods, as if this makes total sense to him and drags his semi-conscious companion out of the vehicle. Mickey chances setting him on his feet, and although he leans against Mickey’s shoulder heavily, the redhead manages to stand and the effort of doing so seems to wake him up a little.

“I’m Ian. We gonna have a good time?”

Mickey recognises the accent as Southside and smiles a little to himself without looking up at … Ian.

“Oh yeah, a real good time. Most likely listening to you puke up whatever cocktail of crappy knock off pills you ingested with that old creep at the club.”

“You’re pretty.”

Ian mumbles, trying to rest his cheek on Mickey’s head, causing the shorter man to jerk away and both of them to stumble, almost falling on the porch steps.

“Shut the fuck up, Firecrotch.”

Mickey’s tone is far softer than the words he speaks. He can feel exhaustion and uncertainty rolling off Ian in waves and the urge to smooth away his doubts is almost as strong as Mickey’s natural inclination to keep his distance.

“What’s your name?”

“Mickey.”

“Mickey.”

Ian repeats softly and something about the way Ian says his name makes Mickey smile despite himself.

Making it through the front door is one thing, but navigating the cluttered living room to try and get to Mickey’s bedroom is something else entirely. Mickey irritably kicks bags of stuff aside as he tries to steer Ian through but inches from the bedroom door, Ian snags his foot on something and sprawls across the floor. Mickey grabs for him but a blinding stab of pain overtakes his movements and he staggers back against the wall, the heel of his hand pressed to his forehead.

“Fuck!”

Mickey squeezes his eyes shut and tries to breathe through it, nostrils flaring. He has never really thought of himself as someone with a great deal of empathy. He tends to think of life as one big cluster fuck and if you fall down, you get fuckin’ trampled – end of story, bitch! But now something loosens within him and Mickey can feel the tight grip he keeps on himself slackening, letting empathy coil out from him and wrap gently around Ian, who is still on the floor, his fingers sticky with blood from a cut above his eyebrow.

“What are you …?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know just …”

Mickey keeps his eyes closed and reaches out with his mind. He has no idea what to do but something is telling him to take them both somewhere safe.

He pictures an empty building, beer cans line the ledges of broken windows, graffiti covers the walls, and it is cold as fuck. However it is also private and they can be alone here. Mickey knows this place well. He turns slightly and sees a large black box to his right, it looks heavy and when Mickey leans into it, the surface is almost uncomfortably hot. Mickey keeps his hands against it though and gradually begins to lean his weight into it, his nailbeds turning white with the force he is exerting. The box rasps against the chipped concrete floor and grudgingly begins to slide back.

In the living room, Ian is watching him with wide, disbelieving eyes as all his fear, even the muddled, muted fear that the drugs had created begins to disperse.

Ian knows what he is, he is a Sentinel and he has accepted that with a sort of reluctant pride. He’s never found cause to be ashamed, not about the shitty house he grew up in, not when he realised he was gay, not when he was diagnosed with bi-polar and not when he discovered his sentinel abilities. He is who he is and doesn’t need anyone to try and change him or save him.

Maybe that is why finding a Guide has been so hard. Many people have felt almost right but none of them have been the one. Even the ones who have accepted most of him, eventually Ian has always been able to feel them prodding tentatively at the edges of bipolar, trying to patch over it or wrap around it, refusing to accept that it is simply a part of who he is.

He feels Mickey approach that part of him, raw and confused and never fully at peace and tenses ready to do whatever it takes to stop it being interfered with, but Mickey simply observes it for a moment and then withdraws his attention.

Mickey pushes the box until something soft and pliant catches his eye. He steps around to look down at it and sees a substance like knotted cobwebs trailing after his progress. The individual strands are pale silver and shimmer in the weak light of the abandoned building. Mickey can tell they are fragile just from looking at them. Whatever the fuck they are, it ain’t his business. He’s here to move this weird box and although the stuff is snagged on it, he doesn’t think that he’s going to damage anything by carrying on. So that is what he does and little by little, the box edges toward one of the gaping holes where the windows used to be and finally, Mickey manages to tip it out, sending it tumbling into the nothingness below. Mickey steps back, panting, and takes a moment to catch his breath.

Ian’s mind clears and his breathing eases, completely in rhythm with Mickey’s own. He wishes Mickey would open his eyes, look at him properly but he takes the opportunity to look freely at his body, taking as much as he can in. Large feet in heavy boots and strong, stocky legs. His torso is broad and he’s clearly strong but maybe a little … soft? Ian wishes the light was better because he wants to see as much of his new friend as possible … maybe more than a friend should strictly want to see...Ian blinks and cocks his head to the side, squinting to read the words tattooed across Mickey’s fingers and he breaks into a wide smile when he finally pieces the letters together.

The shift in Ian’s mood breaks Mickey’s concentration and he opens his eyes, smiling softly in response to the ripple of happiness that has just washed over him. An electric blue gaze meets a gentle green one and it is almost too much.

Almost.

Love at first sight it a myth that Mickey Milkovich has long called bullshit on, but the swell of Ian’s emotion crashes over him like a summer storm, hot and fast, understanding and want crashing around him like thunder and the look in his eyes illuminating Mickey’s world like so many forks of lightening. He takes a shuddering breath and sees it mirrored on Ian’s lips. Mickey has no idea how he could stop it even if he wanted to and so he lets it flow over him and out of him, his cheeks growing hot with the unspoken admission.

Their breathing is completely in tandem, chests rising and falling in perfect rhythm. Mickey bites down on his lower lip until he tastes the metallic tang of blood. He can feel Ian, all of Ian. He can feel him as clearly as he can feel the throbbing of his bitten lip and he knows instinctively that Ian can feel him just as well. Hopes, fears, dreams. Their qualities and flaws all laid out in a dazzling array of complexities and acceptance blooms, clear and honest and vibrant in the small, cluttered room on a street in Chicago’s notorious South Side.

*

“We gotta put something on that cut.”

His voice is strained even to his own ears and Ian doesn’t reply, merely rubs the back of his hand across the wound, dashing away the drying blood, wiping it off on his jeans before holding out his hand to Mickey.

If what the papers and news reports say is true, they may not have had a choice in the unexpected bond that had formed between them but as Mickey bent to touch his fingers to Ian’s palm, he knew that it was a conscious choice and one that he would probably make every day for the rest of his life.

“Are you my Guide, Mickey?”

Ian asks, almost shyly, squeezing Mickey’s fingers tightly as the words echoing between their newly linked perceptions. The question startles Mickey out of his own thoughts and he clicks his tongue in annoyance.

“How the fuck should I know?”

Mickey scowls, aware that this is not how Guides are supposed to speak to their Sentinels. They’re meant to be all calm and zen and shit.  Ian doesn’t seem to mind though. Ian smiles again, a sweet, full-lipped smile that makes Mickey’s stomach flutter. If he was Ian’s Guide he should feel in complete control, he should be dominating the situation completely but that is not what is happening. Something is shifting between them, a swift change like sand dunes disturbed by a strong wind only to form a more beautiful pattern on the desert floor.

Ian pulls Mickey down to him and Mickey slides willingly onto the floor beside him, letting Ian’s large hands frame his face, cradling him and sending a constant stream of curious, hopeful contentment across the fragile air between them.

“Have you ever …?”

“No.”

Mickey shakes his head firmly and then hesitates, a slight frown creasing his brow.

“Wait, you talking about this gay shit or this weird new shit?”

Ian laughs and it is the best sound Mickey thinks he has ever heard. Not much can cajole Mickey out of a decent frown but that sound does.

“Weird new shit. You found me at Pile Driver so I figured … you know ...”

Ian rubs his thumb lightly over Mickey’s cheek, playfully tugging his earlobe. Mickey looks away and bites his answering grin back, sucking in his cheeks and making a bored motion with his tongue.

Ian leans forward and their lips touch ever so briefly. It is the first time Mickey has ever been kissed and he pushes out a sense of exhilaration so strong it makes Ian laugh that rich, wonderful laugh again as they pull apart.

The connection between the two boys has been thrumming along gently, like soft background music in a restaurant, but now Mickey begins to weaken it, pulling away a little, wanting his space back. He might have just fallen in love with someone and that is shit that needs individual processing, not a group activity.

“Don’t ...”

Ian’s brow creases and he grips the back of Mickey’s head tightly, fingers raking through the thick black hair.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’, man. Wanna get out of your head before I fuck something up in there.”

“You won’t!”

Ian shakes his head and Mickey snorts, gently unfolding Ian’s fingers from his head and placing them away from him.

“You done this before?”

“No but ... I’ve heard about it and I know a bit.”

“But you can’t do what I just did?”

“No …”

“And you don’t know how that bit works?”

“Not really …”

“Right. So learn a unique skill or shut the fuck up.”

Mickey smiles gently and disentangles himself from Ian, standing and offering him a hand up.

Ian presses his lips together and gives Mickey an exasperated look climbing to his feet unaided.

“Fuck you! You’re my Guide and you’re supposed to help me do … whatever shit I need to do.”

“I just fuckin’ did!”

Mickey raises his eyebrows, almost daring Ian to contradict him.

“Well maybe I need more help!”

“Jesus. You always this needy?”

“No. I usually just get what I want.”

Ian smirks and Mickey returns it ruefully.

“Yeah I bet you do, Firecrotch.”

“Ian.”

“Whatever. Bathrooms through there. Go sort that cut out.”

*

While Ian goes to the bathroom to clean up, Mickey gets a couple of cans of beer from the fridge, considers it, and then pours two glasses of orange juice instead. He doesn’t know how he managed to push the effect of the drugs away, but he is fairly certain that just because he somehow did, Ian still shouldn’t be drinking.

Ian looks at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and flinches. He looks like shit. Dark circles under his eyes and pallid skin … fuck sake. He feels like he is at the tail end of a come down, it’s a soft landing thanks to Mickey, but his head still feels to heavy for his neck. Though perhaps it is just all that has happened. He had been about to go back to the apartment of some sleazy creep and get pawed over  on an expensive couch whilst snorting, smoking and popping as many drugs as he could to try and quiet the sensations in his mind. Then, out of nowhere a beautiful, tough stranger shows up, rescues him, heals him, Guides him and, unless Ian is very much mistaken, they have fallen in love too. What the actual fuck?

He pinches himself sharply wondering if he is about to wake up and hears Mickey’s voice call out from the kitchen

“You okay?”

The connection. Mickey must have let himself back in a little bit just in case. Ian smiles at the thought of someone actually caring enough about him to want to do such a thing.

“Yeah, fine.”

Ian splashes a little water on his face and notices an open letter at his feet. It looks like a bill and it looks like someone has wiped their ass with it. The name at the top of the letter is ‘Mr I. Milkovich.’ - not Mickey then but perhaps a brother? Or maybe his father? Mickey certainly looks young enough to live with his parents still. Perhaps it is just a roommate? It is absolutely fucking weird to know so much about a person and not actually be sure of their last name. Ian grins to himself and adds it to the list of weird shit that just seems to happen to him.

Realising he is taking too long, Ian gently pats his face dry with the hem of his shirt as there are no towels in sight and unlocks the door, heading out to the living room and then following the smell of tobacco smoke though to one of the bedrooms. He finds Mickey sprawled on a rumpled bed, sipping a glass of orange juice. When he sees Ian he gives him a cocky grin and, unless Ian has imagined it, spreads his legs a little wider.

“Take a seat.”

Ian does so, sitting a little awkwardly on the edge of the mattress. The distance between them seems too far, a wide yawning chasm that neither is sure how to brace. Mickey clears his throat, places a hand almost protectively over his crotch, seemingly embarrassed about his presumption, and hands Ian his juice.

“Figured beer would be the last thing you need.”

“Yeah, probably right.”

Ian’s leg begins shaking up and down and he worries at a hangnail on his thumb.

“I don’t know how that shit happened earlier but I think I’m in love with you and you’re really fucking hot.”

He blurts suddenly and Mickey chokes on his drink, sending bright droplets across the room and dribbling the remainder down his chin.

“Damn! You just wanted to put that out there, huh?”

“Sorry.”

Ian ducks his head abashed as Mickey wipes his face on his sleeve, grinning.

“Nah, it’s cool. You look pretty good yourself, Freckles.”

“Yeah?”

Ian glances up, giving Mickey a one-sided smile, creating a dimple in his cheek that Mickey feels an almost overwhelming urge to kiss. He can feel the bond between them flexing as Ian’s happiness peaks again, a warm nudge against Mickey’s mind.

“Yeah.”

Mickey sits forward and lets his hand trail the length of Ian’s thigh, paying close attention the rhythm of Ian’s breathing and stopping his exploration when he hears it hitch.

“You OK?”

“Yeah … yeah just … relaxing.”

“Sure. Well go ahead and relax, Firecrotch. I got you.”

Mickey’s confidence is growing and he can feel Ian’s emotions stabilising as he touches him. Mickey has been told many times that he is a damn good lay, but no one has ever actually relaxed just from his touch before. It is a novel change from using his hands to do violence or tear off clothes before frantic coupling and he takes his time with Ian, gentling him as he travels his body.

“Is your last name Milkovich?”

“Mmhhmm.”

Mickey hums response as he scoots closer to Ian, ducking his head to place a kiss against his collar bone.

“Mine is ‘Gallagher’.”

“Good to meet you, Gallagher.”

Mickey carefully unbuttons Ian’s jeans and shoves his hands inside, grasping the hot, hard length of him tightly and running his thumb over the slit.

“I can’t wait to have you inside me, gonna ride that dick so fuckin’ good.”

Mickey licks his lip impatiently when Ian doesn’t immediately respond. He’s never fucked on a bed before and never done it with a guy this hot. He feels a little overwhelmed and so reverts to the sort of thing he normally says to speed things along and get him what he needs. Ian bucks his hips desperately but then grunts and stills Mickey’s hand with one of his own.

“What is it? You don’t wanna fuck me or something?”

Mickey’s voice is slightly strangled and his fingers twitch in Ian’s grasp making the younger man smile.

“I haven’t … I don’t … Can I at least touch you first?”

The question makes Mickey’s cock twitch in anticipation and he nods curtly.

“Course you can touch me! Knock yourself out, man.”

Ian’s hand hovers uncertainly for a split second and then plunges into Mickey’s hair, carding through it to cup the back of his head as he comes up to straddle Mickey’s thighs. The kiss Ian places on Mickey’s lips is fierce, all clashing teeth and thrusting tongues and Mickey can’t help the desires that he projects across to Ian, the urge to be treated roughly, the ache of wanting something hard and fast and furious, the desperation to be understood. It is the opposite of what a Guide should encourage his Sentinel towards and Mickey feels a twinge of guilt. Ian feels it too and pulls back to look down at Mickey.

“Let me take care of you.”

“Ain’t I supposed to do that shit for you?”

“Who gives a shit what we’re supposed to do?”

Ian smiles, kissing Mickey again and deftly opening the buttons on his shirt fastening first his lips and then his teeth around one dark nipple, a soft moan escaping as he feels the tiny bud of flesh harden and the sharp hiss of Mickey’s breath as Ian releases him.

Ian begins undressing Mickey, swift practical motions that calm Mickey’s skittering nerves. Once Ian has him down to his boxers, he glances uncertainly toward the door. Ian follows his gaze and immediately stands, crosses the room and closes it, flipping the flimsy lock Mickey has attached to it into place. He understands, maybe not everything but enough to know that Mickey clearly values his privacy.

“Just you and me.”

He smirks, tugging his tank off, and turning in a slow circle, arms held slightly away from his body.

“This okay for you?”

Mickey nods, not trusting his voice. His eyes are wide and staring and he isn’t entirely sure that he is awake but if this is a dream, it is quickly becoming the best dream he has ever had and he is in no hurry for it to end.

“You a military man?”

Mickey nods to the tattoo on Ian’s side and Ian grins almost bashfully

“It’s a long story but kind of … yeah. Army.”

Ian cocks his head to the side, watching him keenly and Mickey feels a surge of confidence pulse out from the redhead into the room. He nods again and it is all the permission Ian needs.

He pulls Mickey to his feet, steadying him with firm hands on his shoulders and looks down at him intently

“You gonna kiss me or just fuckin’...”

Ian shuts him up with a kiss and they smile into each others mouths, hands trailing each others bodies. Ian moves ones hand and pinches Mickey’s nipple, softly and then harder, pulling the shorter man up onto his toes, a flush of pleasure creeping over his cheeks as Ian twists him lightly, just enough to see the pulse in Mickey’s neck jump. His other hand tightens on the firm shoulder in his grip, pressing his thumb hard into the collarbone, his fingers leaving bright white outlines on the already pale skin.

Mickey shivers, the room is cold and his skin is too sensitive, he shifts on the balls of his feet, not sue whether Ian means to let him rest back onto his heels or not.

“Get into bed.”

Mickey snorts, he barely knows Gallagher but the guy says it as if they’ve been sharing Mickey’s bed for years, as if he belongs there, as if he is as much a part of the room as the cracked ceiling and patchy carpet.

He has no idea how Ian manages to burn even in the cold of the room but as Mickey scooches over in the narrow bed and Ian folds around him, the heat from Ian’s body makes him curl involuntarily into him, pressing his forehead against the toned muscle of Ian’s chest.

He feels fingers trail down his back, the tips blunt and strong as they curl around Mickey’s ass, kneading one of his cheeks lightly, then squeezing more firmly.

“You have a really great ass.”

Mickey allows his own hand to travel down to grope the round swell of Ian’s behind and he grins.

“You too, Army.”

“You like nicknames, huh?”

Ian begins kissing down Mickey’s temple, his jaw, his neck. He shuffles down the bed, not worrying about the sudden chill as his legs left the shelter of the quilt.

“Got a problem with that?”

Mickey peers down the length of the bed, a tiny smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Would it matter if I did?”

“Not really.���

“Well then quit fucking staring at me and spread ‘em.”

Ian bites Mickey’s calf firmly and Mickey tips his head back, grinning up at the ceiling, his eyes closed. He didn’t think a bed could make much difference, and by anyones standards his bed is uncomfortable. He usually sleeps on top of the quilt, wrapped in a hoody or his coat rather than try and sleep with springs poking him in the back but even with his shitty mattress, being in bed with Ian is so fucking liberating he almost wants to laugh with the joy of it.

He thinks of his father, what Terry would say if he knew. It is a recurring thought that comes to Mickey at some point during every encounter he has ever had with another man. Usually Mickey grits his teeth, closes his eyes and, if things are far enough along, thrusts himself back until pain and pleasure finally mingle and he cums over his clenched fist, already tugging his pants up with his free hand.

However with Ian between his legs, kissing the inside of his thigh and gripping his hips tightly, Mickey can barely see Terry’’s face. It is blurred and faint, like he is viewing it through smeared glass and the shame he feels is muted too.

Ian’s tongue slips between his cheeks and Mickey wraps his hand in Ian’s hair with a sharp curse.

“Jesus, Gallagher!”

Mickey’s dick is so swollen he is worried he is about to cum all over himself but Ian seems to know his body as well as he knows everything else and he shimmies back up the bed, looking at Mickey as if he is the best thing he has ever seen.

“Got lube?”

Mickey nods and leans over the edge of the bed, rooting through the junk under his bed until he comes up with a small bottle, the label scratched off just in case.

“Here I … Ian?”

Ian’s face is stony, his eyes fixed on the wall somewhere over Mickey’s shoulder as he kneels rigidly on the bed.

“Ian?”

Mickey drops the lube on the mattress between them and gently grips the back of Ian’s head.

“Hey. Hey it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Someone’s been stabbed.”

“It’s Southside, man. Of course someone’s been stabbed.”

“I don’t … I can’t see them...”

Mickey bites back a curse and looks around for his boxers which are no where to be seen. Mickey bites his lip, squares his shoulders and kneels up in front of Ian, shifting his grip in the red hair to a more certain one and locking eyes.

“You don’t have to worry about this right now. Let it go, man.”

Mickey can feel the instant Ian's sight starts to come back under his control.

"That’s it, you got it"

He coaxes, as Ian draws toward Mickey’s touch, the anxious fear within him easing as he melts forward, sinking his face to Mickey's shoulder and breathing in the scent of him.

“I got you.”

Mickey strokes Ian’s hair and kisses his temple as light tremors flash through the younger man’s body. There is a sudden rush of thinking awareness in the bond between them, Ian's emotions spike, twist, flutter and then … there is stillness.

“I’m sorry.”

Ian murmurs, swallowing heavily.

“Don’t worry about it, man.”

Mickey shrugs and continues smoothing Ian’s hair, his free hand tugging the quilt up around their shoulders, shrouding them from the outside world.

“You think I’m crazy? A Sentinel too fucked up to know where to look.”

“Nah. You’re … well you’re whatever the fuck you are, same as anyone else.”

“You are definitely my Guide.”

Ian smiles and nods to himself, the question is gone and certainty sits proudly in it’s place.

“You think?”

Mickey rubs a finger under his nose and Ian nods firmly

“Yeah. It’s … I can’t explain it but everything about you, even the way you smell… you’re the one.”

Ian closes his eyes so he doesn’t see the hope and the shock that flit across Mickey’s face.

“Lay down, Gallagher. You look beat.”

Ian frowns and cups a hand around Mickey’s balls

“But don’t you want …?”

Mickey kisses him by way of answer and then pulls back, gently patting Ian’s face and easing them both down onto the bed,

“You gonna run out on me in the morning?”

“No!”

“Then we got all the time in the world.”

Their limbs entwine and Ian speads the blanket over them, tucking it securely around Mickey’s broad back, another first for the brunette.

“I haven’t even said thank you. For rescuing me.”

Ian blinks bleerily and the flush of warmth that spreads through Mickey’s chest feels strange and a little uncomfortable but not unpleasant.

“Shut the fuck up, Gallagher.”

“You say that a lot.”

“You talk a lot.”

Mickey sees Ian’s eyes crinkle at the edges as his lips soften and curve into a small smile that is entirely fore Mickey.

“Better get used to it, Mick.”

As Mickey shuts off the lamp, there is not a word from either of their lips but they both drift into an easier sleep than either has had in a long time and it truly is the start of something beautiful.

[greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet]

black panther spoilers!!

i??? am gay??? for every single woman in this film????

including ramonda, bc she is beautiful and majestic and lovely

shuri is like,,, a couple years older than me. date me, princess, date me p l e a s e 

!!!!!killmonger!!!!! holy shit!!!! i?? actually felt sorry for him!! i really liked guy!!- like, not “liked” him, i don’t agree with anything he was doing, but i!! understood!! why he was doing all this?? and he!! was!! just!! a super sympathetic villain!! i didn’t want him to die!!

TH A T L A S T L I N E T H O U G H . oh my god. i died, right there, in my seat.  holy fucking shit. we thought thor ragnarok was heavy-handed on anti-colonialism and civil rights??? FUCK THAT. this guy’s last words were “bury me in the sea with my ancestors. they knew that death was better than bondage.” GOD FUCKING DAMN.

ross!! a good ross!! i liked this ross!!

martin freeman’s american accent is. unnerving. 

i pray for a scene in infinity wars where he meets dr strange (and possibly tony stark is there too because you can’t forget the downey films) and there’s like. references. i would laugh my ass off. 

he grows throughout the movie and he just. takes orders from nakia and shuri without question. i like this ross. i hope he sticks around. 

i liked that there were like. next to none established marvel characters in this!! no cameos from any avengers or ex-avengers (minus the end scene but shhh he was never an avenger to begin with). like,, ross was just it??? and i just really liked that! it was a movie about the black panther, no other superheroes. i appreciated that.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!t’challa’s line at the UN!! “wise men build bridges; fools build barriers.” GET FUCKING RE K T TRUMP

s h u r i  m y  lo v e  with the panther gauntlets!! slay me!!

na k i a marry me please

or marry t’challa, i am shocked but this relationship is neither forced nor off-putting, marry him please and be the most badass queen wakanda has ever had

forgive me ramonda, but i have no proof of your badassery, only nakia’s

o k o y e . oh my god, okoye. i loved her?? so much??

why do you love wakabi, okoye. do better than him.

her struggle!!! after killmonger took the throne!! oh my god!! i loved her almost more right then tbh??? like. she loves t’challa!! she is loyal to him!! but she is a Dora Milaje first and foremost and her duty is to the throne, no matter who sits on it, and GOD FUCKING DAMN I LOVE HER SO MUCH???? JESUS CHRIST???? I FUCKING CAN’T WITH THE LADIES IN THIS MOVIE

all of the women in this movie are fully fleshed out. all of them. (minus killmonger’s kissing lady.) their characters are not dependent on t’challa, even though they all care about him a lot and are in the movie because they care about him. ramonda is a former queen. shuri is a tech genius who is clearly involved with all the technological workings of wakanda. nakia is a spy whose loyalties are not t’challa first, but her beliefs first, even though she loves him. (she would stage a coup if she had enough soldiers!! she was ready to stage a coup with like three people on her side!!) i already talked about okoye, but she’s also!! so!! good!! she’s sassy and she’s smart and she’s kick-ass, but she has pet peeves and she struggles and she has doubts and she mourns her friends. i love her. i love all of them. 

t’challa! damn! i know i haven’t talked about him much but he!! was!! so!! good!! his reaction to t’chaka’s killing of his brother, his opinion on killmonger, his obvious love for shuri (HE!! THREW!! HIMSELF!! AT!! KILLMONGER!! AND!! SENT!! BOTH!! OF!! THEM!! DOWN!! A!! MOUNTAIN!! TO!! PROTECT!! HER!!) and his mom, his love for azuri (even though he didn’t agree with everything azuri did), the spirit visions w/ t’chaka and the other kings (why did you leave the child behind? my heart fucking sh a t te r e d), his love of nakia (nakia... hi... this awkward boy i love him), just!! I LOVE HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! 

wakanda in general!! i want to live there!! it’s so beautiful and colorful and ahh!!! the four tribes and their differences are really cool to look at, too, with the different color schemes of each tribe and the mouth-piercings for the one (what are those called???) and the hair for that other one (like??? h o w ??????) and like, the traditional culture blending with modern culture and also futuristic stuff and!! ahh!! wakanda!!! 

the!! FUCKING!! ANIMATIONS!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

i don’t know who animates/directs the ending credits for the marvel movies, but they need a raise. i don’t know or care how much they get paid right now, they need a raise.

my heart bro k e when i realized the kid & dad speaking at the beginning were killmonger and his dad. like!!! oh my god i was??? not??? r e a d y ???

t’challa and shuri!! they’re so believable as siblings!! they’re so genuine!! like, seriously, it’s me and my sister: annoy each other to death, but also willing to kill and/or die to protect one another. (at least, that’s how i am to my sister. more reasons shuri is my soulmate: we’re the annoying younger sibling.)

ramonda!! is!! so clearly worried about her kids and so proud of their achievements and so done with shuri’s shit and?? she’s just a really genuine mom and i love her. 

shuri is so sassy. i want a movie about her.

i want a movie about her, okoye, and nakia shooting the shit and roasting t’challa. just. an hour and a half of these three amazing ladies roasting his royal ass. maybe ramonda walks in after an hour to share embarrassing baby stories. give me this, marvel. gi v e m e t hi s .

finally, andy serkis played a hilarious villain with mental problems and a creepy-ass laugh who is not animated. au naturale andy. god bless.

anyway this movie is a masterpiece go watch it

i’m gonna find the soundtrack on youtube and illegally download the whole fucking thing and listen to it on loop

[gingerambition]

I’m Back Like Herpes

Let me start off by saying how deeply and sincerely apologetic I am for leaving you all so suddenly without so much as a "brb." I'm sure you've thought of me, summoning my witty repartee during your longest of mid-day work shits. Where have I been you may ask? Well back in Mid-September a former West Coast co-worker approached me about joining her team as a remote part time video producer  – which I obviously jumped on faster than a 47-year-old bottle blonde divorcee clad in Victoria's Secret PINK at a Thunder Down Under show that just asked for participants to join them on stage. Between my full-time marketing gig, and the additional 15-hours a week pumping out viral unicorn/millennial pink/glitter hair parts/J. Law and Emma Stone is our spirit animal BFF goals content, I barely have time for my CSI marathon Wednesdays on Oxygen, let alone time to complain about men and old people, young people, and everything else in-between.

Professional progress aside, my BFF and I are living in a 2nd story suite owned by a kind older couple that only watches period dramas on BBC with full volume because they can't understand the accents, but instead of turning on closed captioning they just jack up the sound. AKA still living at my parents' house with my cat, and I purchased a truly life changing Amazon Fire Stick to combat the sound of Harry Potter rejects going on walks in the rain. Apparently every road in the UK in unpaved and the kitten heel trend is alive and well.

Oh, and I have a boyfriend. No assholes, it's not "too soon." I didn’t try to nail down the first dude I met back home for some guaranteed trips to Olive Garden so I could slink back into my comfort zone of wearing oversized sweatshirts as lingerie. Prior to my darling PharmD I went on an alarming number of first dates, and a truly surprising number of second dates. I'm not a fan of Yankees fans, or people whose advice on being single is, "fall back in love with yourself first, you know, really figure out what you want, focus on you, stay busy, pick up a hobby." Sweet strangers, I love me. I never stopped loving me. My relationship with myself has always been, and probably will always be, my priority. How I feel about myself sets the stage for how I feel about everyone, and everything else. Plus I have no free time and more blank adult coloring books than connections on LinkedIn, and I accept everybody. Oh the joys of being annoyingly self-aware. 

I wholeheartedly believe when it comes to dating the only way to figure out what you want in a partner is to figure out what you don't want. Process of elimination. How do I know I don't want a boyfriend who wears a handmade necklace made from the teeth of his dead dog? Because I went out with him. Live and learn. I also dated a divorced firefighter, a Jewish Repblicanish lawyer, a classic rock loving lamp-builder, the older brother of a girl I went to high school with whom I had to bail out of jail (him, not her - she's a lawyer, ironically enough), a guy who called me "aggressive and not flirty" to my face but still kissed me, a baseball coach with a New York? accent despite having never been there, and a carless cat owner– just to name a few. Throw enough shit at the wall and eventually something's gonna stick. If this boyfriend happens to be the one that sticks, that’s awesome. If it doesn't, I'll be okay then too. 

To the men of 2017, the shit you put me through - the shit I put you through - each and every one of you deserve your own posts. I learned a lot about what I want, what I deserve in a relationship, and a hell of a lot about what I don't want. Unfortunately my insane work schedule does not allow much time for creative writing aside from captioning videos about thicc AF puppys. I In fact the only reason I have time to write this longer than intended update is because I'm on an Amtrak on my way to Chicago for my sister's 25th birthday and I forgot to download the iTunes "Girls Trip" rental I purchased before hopping aboard. Won't make that mistake again on my way home Sunday. That's all for now hot dogs and tacos. Until next time. 

PS. I'll try not to ghost you again, I know how shitty that feels. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, ADAM.