#because he's actively invested out of more choice/say..?

[loadinghellsing]

"does a person count as religious if they believe, but have lost their faith?"

If the answer is "yes"? Alucard is more religious then Anderson.

"more religious" as in "more consumed, motivated, and driven by their faith, and by their faith alone."

Combat is Alucard's prayer, it's in the blood spilled and the lives lost. Vlad lived, fought, and killed for his faith.

And him consuming the blood, is him taking that entire prayer from god, and claiming it as his own.

So if you take every act of faithless faith, and tally it up as a religious point. Well...

I feel it's safe to call him the most religious character in Hellsing.

His relationship with it is complex, and runs deep. Furious resentment, but also a sense of self loathing with what he's become. Torn between two extremes.

(conflicted grin/scowl)

-Additional note-

Alucard's quote; that dedicating yourself to god, or dedicating yourself against, is all the same.

Prompts an odd realization, that in Alucard's own terms, he could never have held the weight of a human life.

Because Vlad had been dedicated and faithful to an all consuming extreme. Alucard is just the other side of that same coin.

"If Satanists do not believe in the devil, who does?" - "Christians."

But if Alucard expresses two extremes of monstrosity, here's the thing that really gets me.

Anderson is a monster of neither extreme.

"Instrument of God", sure. but the main things is; Anderson doesn't want to be human. He doesn't want emotion, fear, heart, or pity.

He becomes a monster because of a human desire to not be overwhelmed with conflict. It's the desires of a tired man expressed through faith (not because of faith) that turns him into a monster.

he works at an orphanage, he has kids he care about. Such as Maxwell. Who he strikes down in "the name of god", be he strikes down with a human heart. With pity, sorrow, loss, and love.

Emotions that aren't because of his faith. It's human, it's who he is. And his faith is just another aspect of that identity.

So through those terms? Anderson became a monster in the most human way possible.

[gay-dorito-dust]

can i request hcs of gallagher, jing yuan and sunday falling for a criminal? would they try to bring them to the “good” side?

Sunday: I’m kinda 50/50 on Sunday tbh…

He could persuade/ manipulate you into abandoning your old ways into being with him with promises that he could provide the materials you want/need tenfold.

You had been causing issues for him and the family so why not have you under his roof as his partner? It gets the family off of his back and he gets what he wants.

It was a win-win situation.

You don’t get much of a choice in this situation as Sunday had already put everything in motion long before your fated meeting.

Sunday had kept an eye on you from the moment you started causing problems and ever since then had become a thorn in the family’s side and had grown somewhat of an obsession.

Was it healthy? No but anything Sunday did to earn your eyes on him wasn’t ever healthy, but he likes to believe it was.

While you did get out of a life of crime, was it really better when your new life was spent under constant surveillance from your loving partner and were often refused leave from the house in fear that you were still wanted by the family?

Sunday does love you but it wasn’t a healthy type of love people were tricked into believing…

Gallagher: would have a bit a fun with your little car and mouse game at first.

You being the criminal and him being the one entrusted to put a stop to you schemes.

As long as you weren’t making him work hard nor hurting/killing people and causing mass hysteria then Gallagher was more then willing to let you get away a few times cuz that’s his job

He’d even suggest that you should come to the bar he works on the side in his spare time for a drink and a chat.

You naturally thought this was a rouse and didn’t go but Gallagher was able to persuade you into coming by saying that Gallagher the bloodhound and Gallagher the mixologist were two separate people who ran on two different times.

Needless to say that you began to frequent the bar more often after that and even got to open up to Gallagher about the reasons why you’ve became a criminal.

Gallagher would then help you in getting on the right path by having you bartend with himself and or Siobhan -someone who quickly became one of your closest friends- who knew about Gallagher’s feelings towards you and will occasionally act as his wingman.

After awhile you’ve left the life of crime behind you and become a bartender for the DreamJolt Hostelry in the Reverie.

It wasn’t long before Gallagher asked you out on a date and then later be in a beautiful relationship with you much to everyone in the DreamJolt Hostelry’s relief. They’ve spent long enough not trying to comment on the evident tension between the two of you.

Jing yuan:

He would try to bring you to the good side but not just because he was a crush on you, but more so the fact that you were wasting your time and effort on something that he though was beneath someone of your calibre.

He sees your potential and is impressed but was saddened that your potential was dwindled by the fact that you had resorted to a life of crime.

I mean you must be something if you’ve caught the Generals attention for him to put so much investment in you.

So he would always seemingly be where you are and talks some wisdom into you about how you shouldn’t settle for less just because you thought that was all that your worth. When in actuality you were only relaying on the words other people have used to describe you, rather then let yourself determine your actual worth, which was far greater then the one you’ve given yourself to settle with.

Jing yuan will try to sway you into making the right decision. He firmly believes that you were the only one who should willing make the choice to actively make change to your lifestyle, no one else should have any say in what you do with your life but you.

Whether it’d be good or bad. Life was a lesson that we’re all constantly learning from on a daily basis. We’re not the same person as we were yesterday or the day before and Jing Yuan firmly believed this and was willing to wait as long as it took for you to make the right decision for yourself.

Which you do and from then does Jing Yuan focused on building your relationship in hopes of a potential chance of it becoming romantic.

[prettybean]

TOXIC BEHAVIOR (COD +18)

* just for fun, don’t take it too seriously 🍌

I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP, if you find yourself in these situations, ask for help

If these topics make you uncomfortable, please avoid reading further.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Ghost

He just can't accept the fact that you ended things with him. It's been three months since the breakup, but Simon has completely lost it, especially when he found out that you're engaged again.

He keeps calling you persistently, and out of habit, you always answer. You hear him say the same old phrases: "I'm better than him" or "Come back to me, you know you can't be happy without me."

Despite the breakup, you've agreed to have sex with him several times. The way he pleases you makes your heart race faster and faster. Deep down, you know it's not fair to your new boyfriend, but when Simon touches you, you forget about everything else.

After years of being together, he knows your body inside out. He knows exactly how to make you moan, and he's not afraid to remind you of that. "I bet you don't scream like that with him." And as he says it, he fucks you like only he can.

"Do I have to kill him to win you back? You know I would." And as he says those words, he takes you to new heights of pleasure.

Soap

He has an unhealthy fixation on exerting control over you. John wants to demonstrate to others just how much you are under his command and how obediently you follow his every instruction.

"I've got something special for you," he informed you, as he fasten a collar around your neck, tightening it to the point where it became difficult to breathe. He didn't care about your discomfort; the tighter the collar, the more possession he felt over you.

"Do you like it, sweetie?" he asked, gazing at his name engraved on the collar, emphasizing how much he had invested in you. "If you ever remove it, it would truly break my heart."

You had no choice but to comply; it was the only option available to you. You kept the collar on, and he took advantage of it more and more, forcing you to go out in public with fewer and fewer clothes, showcasing you as his prized possession.

"No panties today, baby," he forcefully rip them off, leaving you to walk around without them. You belonged solely to him, and you had to face the consequences by fulfilling his every desire.

Price

His protectiveness quickly transformed into possessiveness. He never bothers to inquire about your dating life, your activities, or your whereabouts. Your outings are solely determined by his decisions.

If he doesn't suit your preferences, he might even tie you up to acknowledge his authority.

"Darling, it's all about your safety. I don't want anyone to harm you."

He accompanies you everywhere, and you must remain by his side. When you walk, he clings possessively to your arm. "Stay close to me, sweetheart."

If you attempt to engage in conversation with someone else, he tightens his grip on your waist, glaring at you. "What did I tell you?" he growls before promptly escorting you home.

Nevertheless, you adore his way of expressing love. You have always obeyed his commands because, after all, he is your boyfriend.

Gaz

You never truly loved him and he couldn't accept that fact. For months, he persistently tried to flirt with you, but you rejected him in every possible way. However, he refused to give up.

You couldn't help but notice his strange attempts to manipulate you. Strangely enough, you found yourself enjoying the attention and the way he tried to make you fall for him.

Every day, he would tell you, "You're the reason I'm so miserable, don't you see? It's all because of you." With a disappointed expression, he would repeat this over and over, gazing into your eyes.

He started writing you letters, each one becoming more explicit, expressing how he would pleasure you if only you would accept his love. He even went as far as to say he would eliminate any competition just to have you.

Slowly, you found yourself giving in to the temptation and his relentless manipulations. In the end, he succeeded in making you fall in love with him.

Graves

He's consumed by jealousy, and he doesn't even try to hide it. He repeatedly tells you how jealous he is and how wrong you are in your relationship. "If you could just stop thinking about other people, then maybe we wouldn't fight so much."

He wants to have complete control over your every move, to the point where he even took your phone to read all your messages, from the very first to the very last. If he finds anything he doesn't like, he doesn't hesitate to delete the contact of the person involved. "I'm sick of you and your damn friends."

You want to tell him that he's a psychopath and that he needs to respect your privacy, but you simply can't. He keeps blaming you, saying, "It's because of you that I'm like this."

There have been multiple instances where he's punched walls out of anger or broken your phone to cut off your contact with others.

But in the end, he always comes back to you with open arms, apologizing. And every time, you forgive him.

König

He's been tailing you nonstop. It's been ages since you two called it quits, yet every time you step out, you can't shake off the feeling of being watched.

He's always there, meticulously tracking your every move, whether you're alone or with your friends.

König watches you from a distance, careful not to get too close and blow his cover. He even went as far as snapping some pictures of you, which he proudly displayed on his wall, among others.

He used to keep you company during those long nights, lurking in your backyard, peering through your window just to catch you changing or totally naked.

You were well aware of it, and to make things easier for him, you purposely left the curtains open. König was undeniably creepy, but deep down, you still harbored a hint of affection for him.

Keegan

He’s in love with you. Keegan expresses his love through the most unexpected gestures, but only when you're alone together. When there are other people around, he transforms into the perfect gentleman - kind and flawless. Your friends have even praised you for choosing such a great guy.

But when you return home, everything changes. It's happened multiple times that he's embraced you from behind, gently caressing your hips and leaving a trail of wet kisses along your neck. You tilt your head back, giving him more space, only to feel something cold against your skin.

"The only way I can make you do what I want is by holding a knife to your throat?" he says, his words making you flinch. Every time he threatens you like this, it feels as if it's the first time.

"I know you enjoy provoking me, otherwise you wouldn't do it so often," he claims. You haven't done anything wrong, he just likes making you believe that. He enjoys seeing the fear in your eyes as he grabs your wrists and forces you to your knees.

You beg him to continue, knowing that he doesn't appreciate it when you oppose him. You have no reason to resist. He controls you, able to do whatever he pleases with you, especially when he lets the knife glide across your body.

"Tell me you'd die for me”.

[tarotwithlove]

PICK A CARD ⋆ get to know your future child

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · BOOK A 2024 YEAR AHEAD READING WITH ME (GENERAL OR NSFW) · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · two of swords, six of swords (reversed), ace of swords, king of pentacles, knight of wands (reversed), eight of wands. 

channelled songs · in our small way by michael jackson. ttg by kiss of life. demolition man by simon dominic. gucci flip flops by bhad bhabie. 

my dear group one ♡ the child that is coming through for you is likely a boy. this is someone who likes accounting, finances, and investing. they are business-minded -- though you could also say that they are somewhat greedy, obsessed with money, and would do anything to make a quick buck.

your child wants to be rich. they want to be a millionaire. and they know that they will be. 

your child is highly driven and highly proactive. they do not need someone to tell them what to do before they go out and do it. from a very young age, they know who they want to be and what they want out of life, and will do anything to rightfully shape their life as they see fit. they will wake up early in the morning and go for a walk or run, or go to the gym, then come back and work hard at their school work, business, or other responsibilities. 

your child will also, again from a young age, start picking up side jobs and part time jobs. anything so that they have their own flow of income. and not to buy the latest this or the newest that, but to save and invest. to put into their plans. 

you may sometimes look at your child, at how disciplined and focused they are, and wonder how you made a child like this. a child with such a good head on his shoulders, who knows themself and who sees the bigger picture when, at their age, you may have been aimless and lost. 

your child forces you to change your whole lifestyle. you become a more active person. you will rise earlier so that you have breakfast ready for him when he gets home from his morning workout. you will educate yourself on finances, accounting, and other aspects of business, not only so that you can keep up with him but also so that you can be a good business partner to him --- because you may also get wrapped up in his business ideas, and may quit your job to start working as his manager.

your child may be a bit overconfident and arrogant, expecting things to always go his way and difficult to reign in or teach lessons especially about the consequences of his actions, but when it comes to you he loves you and is devoted to you. in fact, it may be why he works so hard; because he wants to give you the best life possible. 

GROUP TWO

cards · the devil (reversed), the sun, eight of swords, five of cups (reversed), seven of swords, eight of cups. 

channelled songs · applause by lady gaga. hate it or luv it by central cee. sky by spillage village. howl by florence + the machine. 

my dear group two ♡ the child that is coming through is likely a girl. one who prioritises their physical appearance and physical fitness, over anything else -- to the extent where they may have an eating disorder or disordered eating patterns, something which is caused by and worsened by their sport of choice. 

this child is athletic, either being a runner, cheerleader, or gymnast, and is incredibly devoted to this sport. they want to be the best in this sport, the best in the world, an olympic winner or something similar. 

they want to be recognised and will do everything in their power to make this happen. sacrifice anything. 

they may be a child of divorce, who may find it hard to open up to you about certain struggles they face and certain fears they have. they love you, but feel that you fundamentally do not understand each other. that you don't listen to them. that you love them, but that you do not love them enough. thus, your child will bottle up their emotions and internalise a lot of their anger.

they may have anger issues, often exploding in anger when things don't work out as they expected. or when they lose.

this child hates to lose, but they like to fail and be challenged, because they like to push themselves to grow and get better. they love that feeling of succeeding at something they trained day-in and day-out to; to land that specific trick, to cross that specific line, to achieve a specific goal.

they love the cheers of the crowd -- the applause, the awe -- they do something with their body that no one has seen be done before. 

this child may be very rigid with themselves. they may ignore a lot of their feelings -- especially around your divorce and other issues within the house -- and focus all their attention and brainpower on their sport and their body. this is the only thing they have complete control over, so, of course, they will give it their all. 

and as rigid as they are with themselves, they are as rigid with others. they hate people who lie, even small lies, and may feel like you are often lying to them or keeping things hidden from them. even if you are doing this because you think you are doing what's best for them -- for example, not telling them just how difficult your marriage actually was, but not realising they already know and are just waiting for you to be honest and upfront with them. 

the relationship between you and your child is complex. you will often butt heads and argue, and things you do with well-meaning intent only succeed in driving the wedge deeper and deeper between you two. 

this child teaches you when to walk away. you may have a difficult, painful, marriage, and for the sake of your child alone -- despite how much you love this person, and how much you want to try and make it work -- you decide to leave. you learn when to move out of comfortable environments, so that your child may have better coaches and better access to competitions. you learn when to argue and when to drop the subject entirely. you learn how to breathe and to let go, to love someone when they push you away because you realise that this is when they need it the most. 

GROUP THREE

cards · ten of pentacles (reversed), the hierophant, page of wands, ace of cups (reversed), eight of swords, the devil.

channelled songs · planet girl by jooyoung. pansy by taemin. breathe by umi. lost in the citadel by lil nas x. 

my dear group three ♡ the child that is coming through is one who is more expensive to raise than you initially thought or expected. this is likely not your first child, but the circumstances of their birth and their disabilities might make raising this one more demanding than raising your first. and it is likely that this child may have developmental issues, dyslexia, or a brain injury -- may experience a major head injury as a child or may have been deprived of oxygen in the womb or during labour. for some, your child may have a degenerative disorder, with their condition getting worse over time. 

whatever it is, specifically, it is something that makes it difficult for your child to navigate the world as any other person would. 

this child requires more of your time and attention. you may have to home-school your child, or go above and beyond in order to get them into a specialised school that is equipped for their specific needs -- at least, for the beginning of their schooling career. 

your child may feel that they are separated from the rest of humanity. that they cannot connect with others, or that others just do not understand them; as if there is a glass wall between them and everyone else -- even between them and you, their other parent, and their siblings. 

they may feel entirely trapped, and like they will never live the life they want because of their disability -- or disabilities. 

they are a generally clumsy child. though they like to dance, to sing and hum along to music and make up their own songs. they love classical music, and will want to play classical instruments but wonder if they’ll ever be able to because of their body’s limitations. 

your child will get tired easily and, thus, will get frustrated easily. they may feel like they’re behind; like they’re failing at the simplest thing -- being alive. to self soothe, they may often sit in the sun or in nature, and cuddle and play with their pet cat. 

cats and/or lizards may also be their favourite animal(s). 

you may sacrifice a lot for your child, just to give them a leg up in life and ensure that they are not held back by their disabilities. this sacrifice may also include the relationship with your other children and the attention that you can give to them. 

GROUP FOUR

cards · king of swords (reversed), knight of pentacles, ten of pentacles (reversed), eight of cups, the fool (reversed), the tower. 

channelled songs · break my soul by beyoncé. headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet by fall out boy. understood by mick jenkins. drowning pool by bbymutha. 

my dear group four ♡ the child that is coming through for you may be one born from a loveless relationship or from a one-night stand. from their conception, this child changes your life completely; sending your life in all directions of upheaval.

this person may be significantly wealthy or famous, or they may have a particular image to protect. and will, thus, choose to silence you with money. they will leave you with the child but will send you a large amount of money each month to make sure you are both financially taken care of. you will be set for life.

your child will grow up used to the comforts that you yourself may not have had while growing up. they may be a bit spoiled, but not to the extent where they are selfish or greedy. it may be better to say that, because of the way they are raised, they are a bit sheltered. 

this child will always help others, wherever and whenever and however they can. as you will often have a fully-stocked fridge or pantry, they will often ask you to pack an extra lunch so they can share it with a friend who either never has lunch or never has nutritious lunch. if they can pay for someone else to attend a field trip, they will.

they may feel as if they do not deserve the comforts they have been granted in life, especially because these comforts are given to them by someone who doesn’t even want anything to do with them. someone who thinks that throwing money at a problem makes it go away.

as soon as they can, your child will leave home and try to make a life for themselves; to build wealth of their own -- wealth they feel like they actually earned, instead of wealth that was just handed to them. 

rather than going the traditional route of college or university, they will rather prefer to gain experience in the world itself. if they do decide to go to college or university, it will be later in life. for the most part, they will travel. they will enjoy backpacking and hiking, and what starts as a hobby or as a way to see the world and find themselves will turn into a successful blog and, then, into a career as a travel journalist. 

this child will do anything possible to broaden their horizons, constantly pushing themselves out of their comfort zone. they will dislike people who are willfully naive and ignorant, who are so caught up in dreams and fantasy that they do not see the realities of life. 

[canisalbus]

I hope this isn’t unwelcome but here are a few of my personal Vascete modern AU headcanons:

As a child, Vasco was usually voted as a team captain when playing sports with other kids. Not necessarily because of his sporting ability, but rather because of his leadership qualities and general agreeableness and ease with others.

Machete always uses perfect grammar when he texts, but can take a while to respond. Vasco often responds instantly but with less attention to grammar. Machete texts in unbroken paragraphs (when he has a lot to say) but Vasco’s texts come through in small, sporadic flurries.

Machete is very familiar with hospitals, particularly so in his childhood due to his various medical issues. As a result he actually finds their cleanliness, and the politeness of the doctors, comforting. These experiences also made him more patient than he might otherwise have been.

Vasco donates blood and is on an organ donor registry.

Machete always carries hand sanitiser around and is constantly offering it to Vasco, who always carries hand cream around, and is constantly offering it to Machete.

Both are well-versed in music and have refined musical tastes.

Vasco hums wholeheartedly whilst doing the dishes - a chore Machete likes to avoid where possible. Vasco knows this, so he pretends he doesn’t mind doing them.

Machete often has a headache and Vasco’s usual first response to this is to ask Machete if he’s had enough water today. He’s often right.

Vasco scarcely thinks of the other paths his life could have taken. Though he knows pain, he feels very fortunate for all the good he’s been dealt in life, and attributes his good luck mostly to happy accidents. Machete on the other hand has unexpected moments of stark awareness of all the possible forks in his road. It’s a sudden deja vu that creeps up on him when he’s alone, almost as if he can remember all of his and Vasco’s past/ potential lives together. The feeling vanishes just as soon as it arrives.

Hot dang anon I LOVE these. Unwelcome UNWELCOME? You come to my house and present me with thoughtful interpretations of my characters, I feel nourished.

I can definitely see Vasco being a popular choice for a team captain. He's physically active but not ultra sporty, and even though he can get excited and carried away, he's never been that competitive (he's got that 'I just hope both teams have fun' sort of vibe that people tend to like).

The texting bit is terribly cute. Vasco rapid firing message after message vs Machete intermittently slapping half an essay in the chat.

Machete is hypochondriac and his threshold for seeking threatment is low, especially if he's experiencing anything he's not already familiar with. To my understanding Italy has a good quality universal public healthcare, but he typically chooses to go with private sector anyway and has been investing in pricey health insurance for years (probably way more extensive than what is necessary or reasonable).

I also thought of Vasco as a habitual blood donor. He wouldn't like it per se (medical surroundings unnerve him), but I think he might just get a kick out of being a good boy and potentially helping people. (I know gay, bi and msm men used to be banned from donating (or at least severely restricted) but it looks like many countries have revised their criteria significantly in recent years and there's a good chance he'd be eligible these days.)

The hand sanitizer/hand cream combo is so good. It made me chuckle. (Are you a hand sanitizer person or a hand cream person?)

Their respective tastes in music and cinema have more overlap than you might initially think, and they keep aligning closer and closer over time.

Machete wouldn't like doing dishes. Having to touch wet food (weird texture + unhygienic) is bad times all around. But he genuinely enjoys a little bit of vacuuming, dusting, laundry and general tidying and organizing. He doesn't leave that much for Vasco to do, just the occasional visibly messy jobs that squick him out more than he cares to admit.

That's very considerate of him. That's a very considerate thing to do to anyone in general. Dehydration and low blood sugar can really sour your mood and you wouldn't even notice they were the reason you're feeling so bad all of a sudden. (When I'm having a difficult day I try to remember to ask myself whether things are truly collapsing or am I potentially just a little too thirsty and hungry and unaware of it. Usually it's the latter).

Ah yes, Machete and the horrors. Vasco might be aware of the horrors as well, but perhaps he possesses the specific kind of galaxy brain that is near immune to this particular flavor of existential dread.

[rocketbirdie]

Arrrghh. People are finishing up Rebirth and looking up the different localizations, and the inevitable wave of hate for the English version is starting to gain traction again just like with Remake. I guess I just get super defensive about it because I have worked on large translation projects before, and it's not as straightforward as players seem to think.

It's not like the good ol' days of "This Guy Are Sick." They don't write the JPN script first, and then just send it out for translation anymore. Nowadays the different language scripts are all written simultaneously, with the teams working back and forth together, to check over each ofher's work and make sure that no one sentence is under- or overshooting a goal. Like it or not— everything is checked over and approved.

There's a lot more being translated than just words. There's so much to take into account— tone of voice, the cultural context, the lip sync and corresponding length of each line (which isn't allowed to run over by more than 0.2 seconds which is CRAZY). It's a messy process and it's a lot of goddamn work.

And then there's the audience, too. Different languages' audiences are often going to have wildly different interpretations of a character. A really good example from FFVII would be Yuffie. In the JPN version of the OG, Yuffie is written to be a confident girl who's dead serious about her ninja training. The ENG translation didn't do that justice... she instead comes off as a silly annoying kid pretending to be a ninja. Remake's DLC was testing the waters to see if they could write Yuffie in a way that's still faithful to both of the strikingly different regional perceptions of her character. And they nailed it.

The same thing happened with Cloud, and continues to influence the way he's written in the Re-trilogy. It's much more subtle than with Yuffie, but it's still noticeable, and I think it's why a lot of people get up in arms about his dialogue.

Cloud has always been written as having a stark disconnect between his tone of voice and his choice of words. It's just that the two major languages get it swapped! JPN Cloud has a harsh, mean tone, but his choice of words is polite and easygoing. On the other hand, ENG Cloud says a LOT of nasty shit out loud, but his true feelings are betrayed by his soft voice and gentle body language.

The difference goes unnoticed by the average player who isn't so invested to give a damn. But if you're actively searching for "bad translations" to get mad at, then you'll find them where one version's Cloud comes off a bit too strong. It's only natural that English Cloud is the one that pisses people off more often— after all, he's literally saying stupid shit to to piss other characters off constantly. His character is so convincing that players want to reach into their screens and wring his neck, and I think that's glorious.

But that's why it upsets me to see people turn that frustration at the localization teams. They didn't "ruin" a character's dialogue— they were just barely able to make something work, all things considered. Character, line length, culture, story context, facial animations, voice acting, for MULTIPLE languages, like... holy shit. It's a miracle that most of it is really really good, and that the bad is only a little bit bad.

Idk where this rant is going. Just... c'mon people. Have some respect for such an insanely complicated art form.

[bingoboingobongo]

cod characters alphabet: activities

Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley, John “Soap” MacTavish, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra, Valeria Garza

Warnings: none

Prompt: Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with their s/o?

A/N: hehe new year new event i’m excitedd. also yes gaz’s ice cream choice is mine too don’t hate.

simon “ghost” riley:

alright so simon likes to spend what little free time he has doing something quiet and relaxing

he just needs a break from all the chaos and noise of wartime and so he’s not a big fan of going out or partying when he has spare time

i feel like at the beginning of your relationship he might take you out to dinner or on a date or something like that just because he feels like your relationship isn’t that strong yet

but once he gets really comfortable with you he’s much happier to spend his time indoors

simon usually will spend his free time reading or sewing (his masks get very dirty/broken very quickly so he needs to have a lot spare okay im sorry)

sometimes he might go outside on a walk/hike away from people so he can just catch a break

honestly when he’s alone he’ll like get into his chair, start whatever activity he’s doing, and then not leave until he’s done

like he will spend the entirety of his free time just sort of decompressing

again at first he was hesitant to let you in because it was sort of like his own self-care routine but he’s found that it’s much easier to take care of himself when you’re there

sometimes he’ll let you curl up on his lap while you nap/read a book/scroll on your phone, and sometimes you guys will sit together on the couch under a blanket

it’s very much a comfortable silence and honestly simon really prefers days like that than when you guys go out

john “soap” mactavish:

okie so soap is all about having new and fun experiences whenever he has free time

so much of his life is spent in the military and he wants to have a lot of fun memories that aren’t work related he can reminisce about when he’s old (or just while he’s bored at work)

whenever he has free time he’ll be spending it with you, even if you’re in the military with him

honestly he just wants to make sure he spends as much time as he can with you, that way if something does go wrong he won’t regret leaving you alone

he’ll take you out on all sort of fun dates and adventures

he loves taking you around town to try out all sorts of restaurants and bars

that being said he’s not a very harsh food critic and he’s mostly just going to try new foods so get ready for a lot of “christ this is so good try it” and “we have to come back here next time”

that being said, if you’re not up to going out or if the weather isn’t right or something, he’s more than happy to spend the day inside with you

he’ll try to cook something with you (the results may be questionable) but it’s okay because you guys spend most of the time laughing anyways

he’s also down to cuddle on the couch and binge a new tv show with you if that’s more your style

he won’t say this out loud (but it’s very obvious) but his favorite genre of tv is reality tv

he gets soo invested in all of the drama and he definitely eats up all of the overly dramatic videography and editing

kyle “gaz” garrick:

hmm so during his free time gaz really likes to listen to/discover new music

he’s got a really broad taste of music and so one of his favorite things to do when he has free time is go around to bars/clubs and just listen to the local bands

of course whenever he can he’ll go to concerts of his favorite artists but with expenses and his busy schedule those are pretty few and far between

he loves to take you with him on these little musical adventures though

many of your nights have been spent at crowded pubs listening to a band play while you guys talk about something dumb that makes you guys laugh

either that or having way too philosophical conversations that would probably be more suited to a university philosophy lecture than a pub with sticky tables and cheap beer

but gaz has had some of the best conversations of his life with you at those pubs so he doesn’t mind it

that being said, if you’re at that point in your relationship gaz really likes taking you to visit his family

he really loves his family, especially his younger siblings, and so whenever he has the chance he goes to visit them and check up on them

and it’s so much more fun when you come along

he’ll take you and the kids out for some ice cream at the old shop he used to frequent when he was a boy

he always gets lime sherbet and rocky road on a waffle cone whenever he goes

and do not yell at him because he swears that it is a good combination because you get sweet and you get sour and it’s not like the flavors even mix together that much so it’s fine

john price:

okay so price is a little bit like ghost in that he likes to spend his free time with just cuddling and sort of relaxing

usually with a crossword and a cup of tea, especially in the mornings

but when he has a little more free time he does really like going to see the arts

i’m talking theatre, dance, museums, concerts (but he tends to lean towards classical or jazz/blues, he just doesn’t understand rap/hip hop i’m sorry)

he’ll always take you with him if you’re down to go as well

and yes during christmas season he always takes you to see the nutcracker

that being said price isn’t really a fan of very many musicals

he feels like it’s kinda hard to understand what they’re saying during the songs and then he just has no idea what’s going on

afterwards he’ll take you out to a nice restaurant so you guys can talk about everything you saw

but if there’s nothing good around he’ll take you back home and make you a home-cooked meal

i feel like price definitely has two homes, a small house (or maybe apartment) in the city and then a cabin somewhere in the woods

what can i say the housing market was a lot different when price was buying his cabin

usually he’ll take you to his cabin during the winter, and then his city place is used for the rest of the year

alejandro vargas:

alright alejandro is a little older than soap and gaz and so his days of partying and going out are past him

i mean don’t get me wrong he can still throw a mean party but his body just doesn’t bounce back the way it used to

so like ghost and price he tends to spend his free time with you in a more reserved way

i think alejandro is probably a really good cook and so that comes into play a lot during his free time

whenever he’s home he’ll practically refuse to let you cook or order anything and insists that he can make it for you

he likes to spend his weekends testing out new recipes or making new foods that you can make when he’s gone

because he always drags you along to the kitchen with him and has you learn how to cook it with him

honestly he’s a teacher/leader at heart and so it’s almost like therapeutic to be teaching you how to cook and stuff

i mean it’s combining like three things he loves: cooking, teaching, and you

once he’s done making the food he’ll cozy up with you on the couch and turn on a show you’ve already watched while you eat, that way he can talk to you and ask you for feedback

honestly he’s a romantic and it shows when he spends his free time with you

he also really loves giving himself (and you) a little spa day a few days after he comes back from duty, just to really decompress and forget about all the stress of work

rodolfo “rudy” parra:

okay so honestly rudy doesn’t really have one thing that he loves doing during his free time

actually wait no he does it’s either building legos or watching other people build legos

that being said, he can’t always do that or sometimes it just gets boring and so really his favorite thing is just spending time with you

wherever you take him, he’ll follow

whether that’s shopping, doing chores, watching a movie, getting dinner

as long as he can look at your face, you could be telling him to jump off a cliff and he’d die happy

what can i say he’s absolutely smitten for you and he’s so like eager it’s amazing

that being said if neither of you have any plans he’ll beg you to stay in bed with him the whole day and you guys will just cuddle while you scroll on your phones or talk about random things

he likes to watch a lot of youtube and he’ll always point out little things he thinks are cool/funny for you to look at

and if you don’t understand it he’ll explain it all to you and why it’s interesting/relevant

honestly though, he really just likes cuddling or sleeping with you during his free time

he’s usually pretty exhausted or beat up whenever he comes home and so spending the day with his head on your chest just sounds like heaven to him

valeria garza:

alright let’s be real being a drug lord is no easy feat and so valeria doesn’t get as much free time as she would like

but when she does get time for herself she’s probably gonna be spending it on you instead

honestly i really see valeria as the kind of person to really spoil you

i mean being el sin nombre brings in a lot of cash so she certainly has the resources to do it

i think if she’s coming home to you, she’ll have to take a minute to decompress for a bit

even though she likes to be the provider in the relationship, she likes it when you hold her for a bit just when she gets home so she can let all her problems melt away

she wants to leave el sin nombre and all the cartels and drugs behind whenever she’s with you

even if you’re involved with it with her, she’d much rather keep that stuff out of her home life

once she’s rejuvenated though she’ll insist on taking you out

usually it’s shopping, dinner, a movie, a party, etc.

okay i’m gonna get into some like psychological stuff but like, i feel like being a woman in a male dominated field (the military and drugs), she feels like there’s sort of like a subconscious need for her to be more masculine, and so she does this by providing for you financially through gifts and stuff like that

but also when it’s all over and the drugs and the shopping and all of it is gone, valeria also just really likes cuddling with you

she’s a big fan of late night pillow talk because it’s a chance for her to release some steam/be vulnerable which she really can’t do during her day-to-day

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 3

As before, if there are any famous/popular lines missing it’s not because I don’t like them it’s just because I have nothing more to add to the analyses/ideas already present about them in the fandom. And if there are quotes that I haven’t analysed that’s just because I wanted to include it as a favourite quote but didn’t have anything to say explanation-wise.

This is a long chapter, so I’ll see how this goes and maybe split it into two parts.

“It would have been easy to make peace. Kaz could have told Jesper that he knew he wasn’t dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him enough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight."

- this is really important for me because it tells us so much about Kaz and Jesper’s relationship in so few words, as well as telling us about the characters individually as well. Kaz trusts Jesper but he can’t tell him that and keeps him at arms length: we understand that Kaz has intimacy and/or commitment issues in both platonic and romantic relationships (since at this point in time the nature of their relationship hasn’t been explored but is presented as platonic, and Kaz had not been specifically stated to have a romantic interest this early on we as the reader make early assumptions). The specificity of the verb “knew” is SO important to me as well, because we have just seen Kaz have Big Bolliger shot in the stomach on the suspicion he was dirty based on a hunch about him going to a different cafe for breakfast but he ‘knows’ with complete certainty that Jesper is absolutely trustworthy. So within barely a paragraph of Kaz’s first POV chapter we understand that Jesper, even if their relationship is complex or rocky, is incredibly important to him and that he has considerable faith in him. The choice to not “make peace”, however, even though “it would have been easy” tells us that Kaz either feels the active need to keep Jesper at a distance or is incapable of expressing the closeness he feels in their friendship. Obviously later we’re able to learn that these are both true in their own way, but the importance of it in this moment is that we are immediately tuned in to Kaz’s fear of emotional connection and invested in understanding why this is, or exactly what he struggled with. Six of Crows is a novel I’d consider to be well balanced between plot-driven and character-driven, but I definitely think that these opening chapters are very character driven so this kind of set up is what pulls us into the book and makes us desperate to keep reading.

“ ‘Another bribe?’

‘I’m a creature of habit’

‘Lucky for you, I am too’ ”

“If you couldn’t walk out by yourself through Ketterdam after dark, then you might as well hang a sign around your neck that read “soft” and lie down for a beating” - I don’t know that I can coherently explain this I just love it; the worldbuilding??? the start of this brilliant presentation of the city as effectively it’s own character, which is one of my favourite things Bardugo does in her descriptions of Ketterdam?? The character implications about Kaz??? The way it ties into his initial judgements of Wylan!???? Perfection

“He realised he felt… Saints, he almost felt hopeful. Maybe he should see a medik” - I just love this so much, it’s so funny and it’s so quintessentially Kaz, I absolutely adore it

“Usually, he liked the quiet. In fact, he would’ve happily sewn most people’s lips shut” - we should talk about this quote more as a fandom, you know, because it’s brilliant and it’s so funny and again it’s just so brilliantly Kaz in the opening pages of his perspective we get so much information about his worldview and understand him to be quite a humorous character despite the initial appearance of him from Inej’s POV. As the novels go on we see the others notice his jokes more often, but in that introductory chapter it was incredibly important that the reader received the same image of Kaz that the Black Tips did, so now we get to be introduced to the closest thing to a real version of Kaz. I think there’s still a prevalent understanding that we’re seeing a mask, but this feels more real than Dirtyhands does… if that makes sense? I could be rambling about nonsense

"He'd heard other members of the gang say she moved like a cat, but he suspected cats would sit attentively at her feet to learn her methods" - this is just such a brilliant description of what Inej can do, it gives us such a clear image without having to overexplain anything and it also introduces us to this idea of Kaz putting her on a pedestal.

' "And what god do you serve, then?"

"Whichever will grant me good fortune"

"I don't think gods work that way,"

"I don't think I care," '

"He didn't see her go, only sensed her absence" - I can't explain it but something about this is so achingly romantic to me.

"But the fact that she could simply erase herself bothered him. She didn't even have a scent. All people carried scents, and those scents told stories -" - It wasn't until someone asked me to make a post about this quote that I really thought about it and realised why it has always stuck out to me. You can see the post on my page if you're interested, but in essence I think it's really important that Kaz struggles with any sense of permanence, so the idea that the one person he cares about more than anything else in the world could vanish so completely, as though she never even existed in the first place, is genuinely frightening - especially to a boy who several times in these novels fears that he has begun to hallucinate. Kaz seems very aware that he's on the edge of something he identifies as going mad, and the concept of visual and auditory hallucinations - Jordie's voice in his head, the panic at thinking he must have hallucinated when he first sees a Tidemaker walk through a wall, the immediate fear of being attacked by a ghost, etc - is something that constantly chases him. Kaz has also spent the last 8 years of his life living in a world that continued on as though his brother never existed, the salt in the wound being that not even Rollins remembers them, so the awareness of that happening to Inej, someone he has come to care for in a way that is entirely new and incredibly overwhelming for him - "there would be no grand funerals for them, no marble markers to remember their names" "What will you leave behind, but corpses to be burned on the Reaper's Barge?" "Out to the Reaper's Barge for burning, like all paupers go" - is a deeply upsetting. This then becomes a parallel with Kaz specifically noting that he can smell soap on her in the Crooked Kingdom Bathroom Scene; in this moment she us cemented so strongly in view and becomes the tether between Kaz and his sanity by continuing to so obstinately exist in a world that doesn't seem to want her to.

"Ghosts, Kaz thought. A boy's fear, but it came with absolute surety. Jordie had come for his vengeance at last" - oh my goodness there's so much to unpack here. I have talked about this a bit before, I think it was in my (very long) post about the potential for Wylan and Kaz to become each other, but it is SO important to look at this quote and remember that when we first read it we haven't the faintest idea who Jordie is or what happened to him. With the ousting of Big Bolliger and all the talk about your gang being your family and that even if you're a liar and a thief, you don't lie to or steal from your own gang, my initial assumption upon reading this was that Jordie had once been in a gang with Kaz, one of them had betrayed the other, and it had ended with Kaz murdering him. But, of course, this is very far from the truth and this tells us so much heart-breaking information about the fact that Kaz blames himself for what happened to them. He wonders later what might have happened to them if he hadn't insisted they go and find the magician that was the first step leading them to Rollins and to Jordie's death, but we never get anything about Kaz blaming himself quite as outrightly as this, the rest of it is usually just implied. So why show us this now? I would argue because this is how Kaz genuinely feels and in the moment he thinks it he is too terrified, confused, and to some extent concerned for his sanity to push the feeling away. Everything we see beyond this point id the construct that he has convinced himself is how he feels: that it's Rollins' fault. Obviously Rollins is at least partially to blame for Jordie's death, but if I may quote myself from a previous post It's the city that kills him, Rollins is just the weapon it chooses. Jordie even says it himself - "The city's winning now, but you'll see who wins in the end". Kaz's genuine belief is that Jordie's death is his fault, but he is in far too fragile a mental state to cope with that truth (and when I say truth I mean the that it's the truth he believes that, not that it;s the truth it's his fualt because he was jsut a nine-year-old who wanted to see a magician that's a more than innocent act and, again, he was nine) so he instead exists within a façade that he has built for himself - even on top of the one he's built for everyone else. We also see a hatred of the feeling towards blaming Jordie later on in the novels, and this is incredibly important. It's almost as if the idea that it's his fault isn't even the truth, but that's a façade to overcome the ultimate horror of seeing Jordie as accountable for it all - "What do you think my forgiveness looks like Jordie?". But ultimately, this is still the warped view of the world instilled in Kaz and so many of the other citizens of Ketterdam, possibly Kerch as a whole, arguably placing the city and its infrastructure as the ultimate villain rather than the tools of it. (Wherein the tools are Rollins and Van Eck).

"The phantom was upon him, and he felt the sharp jab of a needle in his neck. A ghost with a syringe?" - This is just so funny I love it so much I think I've read SOC and CK near to twenty times each now and this still makes me laugh every damn time.

I'm going to split this into two parts from here because this is the splitting point in the chapter and this is already a pretty long post. Thanks so much for reading this, sorry it's been a while for me to post it. I'm loving this line-by-line analysis series already (I know this is only the second post but I'm still excited) but they do take a long time to put together, particularly because at this time I don't currently have an annotated version of either book. Although I am planning to buy fresh copies for the purposes of annotating them when I get the opportunity, I currently don't have my ideas recorded anywhere except this account so whenever I write a post I'm working entirely from memory beyond the actual quotes themselves (and sometimes including them too haha) or even coming up with new ideas as I write. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any questions please keep sending them in I know I haven't responded to any for a little while but I love getting them and I am working through my inbox, if a bit slowly :)

[tanadrin]

Given how fast things are getting worse, forget moral worries about air travel: is it acceptable for me to drive anywhere, including work? Is it morally acceptable for me to continue to live at all, and thus keep putting carbon into the environment?

I just listened to an old livestream by the Unlearning Economics guy about the carbon taxes vs renewable subsidy issue. He was more skeptical of carbon taxes than I expected, given that they're, like, the Standard Prescription among economists for climate change, being putatively politically neutral and in the right circumstances (i.e., in conjunction with rebates) not necessarily super regressive.

But they're politically toxic, and he pointed out, this isn't just because people don't want to do anything about climate change. It's because the costs them impose on most people, like on transport, are on the parts of their lifestyle that it's most difficult for them to change. You by yourself cannot change the structure of the housing market where you live; and if you live in a wasteland of Euclidean zoning, then short of upending your life and moving to a city designed on completely different lines (which in North America is likely to be a very high cost of living area) there's not a lot you can do about it. There are things on a longer time horizon that carbon taxes might incentivize, like more mass transit, that would help with this, but to voters the most transparent effect of a carbon tax is likely to be a big price spike at the fuel pump, and the cost of their electricity going up. That sucks ass!

In those circumstances, there are some taxes that make sense (like taxes on air travel, which emits a lot of carbon and which people use much less, and in a way much more weighted to their income [except among first-generation immigrants, so you might want to account for that also]), and you might consider smaller carbon taxes in conjunction with other policies, but it also makes sense to do a lot of direct investment in renewables, i.e., subsidies, which do seem to be pretty effective. And of course making it easier to build nuclear power wouldn't hurt either!

All of which is also to illustrate that individual choice is kind of a red herring, bc climate issues are a large-scale coordination problem. "If everyone would just--" is a useless line of thinking, especially when it gets turned around to "I'm a bad person if I don't--." Because when it comes to this kind of coordination problem, there are active incentives pushing people away from doing the thing that you think they "should," and no amount of haranguing others (or yourself) will make it any easier to, say, live a car-independent lifestyle in a region with poor mass transit that's designed around single-family homes.

Expecting people to live the lives of ascetics, actively suffering for a nebulous good whose results they cannot hope to perceive in their lifetime, is not just foolish but kinda mean-spirited. Much better to do what you can to help coordinate solutions--to vote for people who are reform-minded on climate issues; maybe to donate your time or skills if you have something specific to contribute--and not to beat yourself up over it.

I really think this framing of your personal carbon footprint as a kind of sin you have to expiate is deeply counterproductive. It's just scrupulosity updated for the modern day. Unless you are the CEO of British Petroleum, or you set forests fires for sport or something, you can relax about this a little bit.

[isaksbestpillow]

Gmmtv 2024 part 2

Didn't we just have part 1??? I don't remember any of the shows in part 1 but it's time to watch another 15 mock trailers. I actually haven't finished a Gmmtv show in ages so let's see whether they manage to lure me back!

Ossan's Love Th

The original franchise is my beloved and it's interesting to see it adapted to a different culture especially since Thailand is more progressive than Japan as far as lgbtq rights go, but this show is harder to adapt than something like Cherry Magic because so much of the comedy comes from Japanese language/culture and the actors. They really hit the jackpot with the original cast, they're hard to replace. I wasn't blown away by the trailer but I like Eartmix and I'm glad they cast a veteran actor as the boss so I'm going to give it a shot. I might've been more optimistic if I hadn't just seen OLR and been reminded of how great the original cast and editing is, the trailer couldn't quite meet that energy for me. But I don't think this is the official trailer yet??? I hope they'll they'll tune it up for the real thing! Anyway, it's nice to see Earth in a fun role after so many brooders.

Leap Day

This one seems to be a thriller with Dew and Pond who both suffer from a curse that kills their loved ones every leap year. The characters are called Night and Day. Where have I heard this before................... People are dying and Gun plays a disabled brother (?). I won't be tuning in.

The Heart Killers

Firstkhao and Joongdunk are making out and handling guns. Khaotung gets a terrible tattoo of 信/trust. I don't know what the plot is. This is an outing by P'Jojo, but unfortunately his latest works haven't been the moment for me, I feel like his plots fall flat in the middle and I tune out. Casting two branded bl pairs is an interesting choice, but I don't want to be there when their fans take out their rulers to measure who got the most screentime.

Friendshit Forever

30-year-olds play university students. Heterosexual activity happens. This time with knives. I'm already sensing a pattern with these shows.

Perfect10 Liners

The mandatory Jittirain university bl. Please sit down for what I'm about to say because you may be shocked by the surprise: they were engineers.

Us

Another gl??? Stop the press!! I already watched the trailer three times. A woman tries to make heterosexuality work with the brother but actually likes the sister. Finally a gl where I feel like I'm in the target audience. The high heel lesbians that we've gotten so far just don't feel that relatable to me, so I've watched those gls as entertainment but not gotten deeply emotionally invested. I don't really know the main actors sans Sing which is great since I can enter with a fresh perspective. This one feels like the first serious romance out of this batch. I'm gonna watch the hell out of this!!!!!

Hide & Sis

We start with a murder. Jan is here. The vibe feels very PS I Hate You. Oh, it's by the same producers, no wonder! I expect this to do well in Thailand but I'm not planning on tuning in.

Thame - Po Heart That Skips a Beat

Another bl with some new guys. Who will be Gmmtv's next branded pair? The story is set in the idol industry. I hate this type of music lol. My heart did not skip a beat but maybe the actual show will be more interesting.

Break up service

Off and Godji run a dubious breakup service in this story based on a webtoon. The vibes are very Midnight Motel with more grey morals since there is illegal filming of sexual activity.

Revamp The Undead Story

Bounprem have moved to Gmmtv. I don't really vibe with vampire stuff. *gets shot*

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist

We got Mark Pakin in a main role but at what cost. He's a dentist and it's another Jittirain adaptation (how many books has this author churned out???).

The Dark Dice

I feel like I already saw this same trailer like four times. Jumanji meets all the other dark trailers from this batch.

The Ex-Morning

Kristsingto return as exes with unfinished business. Krist's character is a reporter who has a scandal during a livestream, Singto's character returns from abroad to help rebuild his reputation. The setting is hilarious, I love it. Both have matured a lot since Sotus days and I'm genuinely excited for this one.

Scarlet Heart Thailand

Gmmtv tries their hand at a historical drama. A lot of popular names in the lineup. The trailer doesn't give out much but this is a remake of a Chinese series.

That was all 15 trailers, I think! I'm looking forward to Us and The Ex-Morning the most.

[chaifootsteps]

Have you seen this?

https://www.tumblr.com/pinkandpurple360/745322260653654016?source=share

Legit I don't even know what show some Stol/tz fans (or rather Stolas stans, they're obviously the type of shippers who only care about one half of the ship) are even watching anymore

They'll bend over backwards to not only excuse Stolas but to act like a literal prince of Hell has less agency than the underclass he quite literally is screwing over.

It's sad that I'm reassured that the fanbase for this show obviously skews young because I can still hope they'll get bored, grow out of it and eventually understand what sexual coercion actually is and treat their media with a less emotional lens

It's disturbing to see them fantastize this level of violence being visited on Blitzo; there's a real nasty undercurrent of actively wanting Stolas to hurt and punish him. The tail end of that comment has Stolas literally threaten to take Loona away and kidnap Blitzo by throwing him in his trunk, then has the nerve to say "I fear they won't get together if something like this happens in the show"!!

like??? Blitzo as it is has every reason to ghost Stolas at the speed of sound the second he gets the asmodean crystal in his hand. it's disturbing how far they expect him to be tortured and still hope for them to get together! like at this point these fans obviously don't even like Blitzo, why do they want Stol/tz to happen at all? give Stolas some dull as ditch water rich boyfriend instead and let them enable all of each other's worst habits! it's just genuinely nauseating how these commenters are now romanticising a frighteningly accurate depiction of domestic violence and they don't even seem to realise it

it reminds me of stans in other fandoms who are so invested in their ship happening (or rather, in the character they stan getting what they want) that they'll immediately escalate to hateful insults towards the other character if they dare to act in their own self-interest.

that or people have known people like Blitzo (or what the show is trying to tell us Blitzo is) who used them and they project all that onto Stolas, somehow ignoring the mountain of flaws and the fact that the relationship was founded on extremely dubious consent at best due to the Full Moon Deal (and that's being charitable about it, I'd dearly love to see how someone could try to justify the deal if they actually rewatched the scene instead of engaging with all of the show's retconning after the fact), and that it was entirely Stolas' choice to do that

sorry, rant over. I think I've seen it all from stol/tz / Stolas fans and then they still manage to surprise me

Jesus fucking Christ. Some of these people actually, honest-to-god scare me, and they're getting more and more numerous.

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy x Ace and the conundrum of pain in 4x12

Alright kids, buckle up for one last time. Don’t worry I will absolutely be back next week for more, but this is the last one where we still have some story left to discover, and I am all up in my feels about this.

There are definitely storytelling choices that I feel are ahem, slightly misguided, but as ever I’m focusing on the Nace of it all, and despite another painful episode of heartbreak, angst, and shouting, I genuinely think we’re making progress. And gosh there’s a lot to unpack from this last episode - it gets long under the cut.

We finally know what the sin was, and we’ve seen them get their memories back. But I still think there’s something else at play here. Because we had heart eyes adoration. We had heartbreak and pain. We had breakups and desperate longing and despair. But then we suddenly shifted to indifference in the wake of that phone call and Nancy’s trip to the Yacht Club. Which either is terrible writing, or it’s some other puzzle piece at play here that we have yet to see. I’m still clinging to the latter. I think there are a few more revelations to come, and I don’t think Nancy and Ace are operating with their full range of memories and emotions yet - hence the anger, indifference, and general out of characterness we’ve been getting.

These last few episodes have served a really interesting purpose though, untethering Nancy and Ace and allowing them to stand on their own. It’s highlighted how much Nancy needs the support of those around her - forcing her to acknowledge her feelings and how important this found family of hers is. But it’s also given Ace the space to breathe, to try and work himself out, to learn to trust himself, to stand up for what he needs and wants, and how he functions as an individual instead of just constantly in service to others. That’s been hard to watch, but it’s been important.

The Nancy and Ace we saw at the start of this season were amazing, yes, look at the yearning! The pining! The heart eyes! But as a couple they were going to run into problems really quickly. They weren’t managing to communicate well - Nancy has slowly been learning not to close herself off since way back in season one where suddenly she wasn’t the only one invested in solving the Tiffany Hudson murder. And Ace has always been supportive of her, quietly there ready for when she finds the words. But they have always struggled to actually communicate effectively, particularly when things are going badly. Nancy takes everything as a rejection and abandonment, Ace actively puts his needs to the bottom of the pile in favour of protecting those he loves. This isn’t healthy, and it isn’t the foundation of a good relationship. And we want them to have a good relationship, we want them to last, because even now for me, they are still endgame. 

They have needed to have that time and space to work some of their own issues out so that they can come back to each other on a more equal footing. To be able to say absolutely I want this, I deserve this, and we can do this together. 

And it’s always been up to Ace to come back. He is the one who walked away, who committed the ultimate abandonment as far as Nancy is concerned. He’s the one that said stop, no, we’re not doing this. And partly as respect for his wishes, and partly because he’d basically just put a fist through her heart by saying that and then leaving, Nancy has stopped. She’s been devastated, broken, looking for something easy that doesn’t hurt as much, but she has respected his wishes. Which is why it’s up to Ace (hey Ace you’ve done some really excellent growth and learning to stand on your own and have your own boundaries and needs, time to put that into action) to come back. To admit he still loves her, he still wants her, he still wants to make this work.

Do I think the writers are waiting until the absolute eleventh hour and really making this pivot a hard one to pull off? Absolutely yes, dear god this feels a little unnecessary. But I do still think we’re getting this pivot. Nancy and Ace have needed to have that space and individual plot lines to come back together as a stronger whole.

Which is why this revelation about what actually happened the night of the boat trip hits that much harder. This is the very first time we’ve seen Ace beg Nancy to come, to be there. She’s the first person he calls. He just needs her there because something awful has happened and she is his safe space. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

This is huge, life altering vulnerability from Ace in a way we have never ever seen. In all the tragedy, she is his first thought. Not to fix anything, not to make it go away, just to be there with him, hold his hand and smooth his hair away from his cheek and hold him steady in a world that feels like it’s falling apart around him. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And any other night, Nancy probably would have made a different decision. But she’s emotionally wrecked from her mum’s memorial. She is adrift in grief and fear because those first weeks after her mum died are a haze of darkness and pain, and on this anniversary night she feels the closest to that pit of grief than she’s felt in a long time, and it would be so easy to tip back into it. Shut her eyes and let it consume her.

And Ace is there and he’s panicked and desperate and she’s never seen him like this - never been allowed to see him like this. He is vulnerable and trusting in a way she has never witnessed. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And she just wants him to be ok. She can’t bear the thought of him going through a fraction of the pain she experienced with the loss of her mum. The guilt, the despair, the anger. She wants to spare him as much pain as she can because she loves him. It’s never about thinking he isn’t strong enough to hold it, it’s not about selfishly trying to keep him as he is. She is, in that moment, so full of love and desperation that she would do anything. And she’s not thinking straight, she just wants him to be ok. Isn’t that all we want for the ones we love?

So she leaves him. Breaks every speed limit getting to the yacht club, just wants it done, wants to take the pain away, smooth the lines from Ace’s brow and wipe the tears from his face. Heal the pain bracketing his mouth as he bites his lip trying to keep the grief at bay. He knows he did the right thing, but it still hurts, still feels like it carved out a piece of him to leave someone to a death like that to save his father. And he’d do it again, even though it would kill him a little more, there’s no way he would change what he’d do, no way he wouldn’t save his father every time.

She isn’t thinking, not really. Panicked by the vulnerability, the fear, the pain, the tidal wave echo of her own grief. She can’t take that away, hasn’t even thought to, can’t imagine herself with the grief hollowed out of her bones. But she can do this for Ace, help him, save him. Doesn’t think through the consequences. Doesn’t think through what else might be taken. What this house of cards might look like when it begins to crumble down. This isn’t Nancy thinking clearly, this is Nancy acting purely on instinct - fear, grief, pain. Her own and Ace’s. And if she can’t be with him at the very least she can take away this burden, ease it for him, shoulder some piece of the load. 

But he’s right to be angry once he understands. He’s right to call her out on it. She had no right to do what she did, particularly without telling him what she was going to do. There’s no way he would have let her. And maybe that’s partly why she didn’t say anything to him before she left. Because she didn’t want him to talk her out of it, didn’t want him to have to understand what loss feels like. What regret eating you away from the inside can do to a person. 

This is where my comment from last week comes into play though. Ace has been so bad at standing up for himself, for calling Nancy out before this season. We’ve had odd moments - the Aglaeca and how angry and scared he was to be caught up in a death curse. But he’s always kept his feelings quiet and bottled until the odd moment where they explode out (see 4x02 and the passive aggressive snark and withdrawing we get from Ace). But last week we saw him standing up to Nancy, arguing, fighting, getting what he needed. And it’s left a muscle memory path for him to follow so we get not one but two fights this episode. And sure, I’d much rather there were heart eyes and curse breaking, but honestly? The fighting gives me hope. It tells me there’s still something there, there are still messy tangled feelings mixed up in all of this. And it starts to offer a more solid foundation, an equal footing for them to build off. 

To say the things they’ve kept bottled up inside, to actually call out what’s upsetting them. That it hurts that each of them seem to have moved on even though neither of them actually have. That it hurts to be around each other, to be so tied up in each other because they can’t bear to be apart. That they’re afraid, so so afraid of what might happen next - of losing each other, of trying and failing, of the possibility not living up to the reality.

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

And the sucker punch of realisation that Ace has that Nancy isn’t moving on or as put together as she’s seemed. That they’re both still such a mess over each other and putting on a front that is far too effective because they’re both too blinded by the pain.

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

But the real pain, because this episode is just a heaping plate of pain after pain, comes with that final confrontation at Icarus Hall where Ace finally calls Nancy out for what she did. Because it feeds into everything he already fears, that he isn’t enough as he is. That Nancy would do something to change him, to remove his pain, his grief, the painful experiences that ultimately are part of him.

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

But with the darkest low points come a turning point, because Nancy needed to be called out. She needed to be told her actions weren’t acceptable, no matter that they came from a place of love, of trying to protect him. She has to have this moment of understanding, of Ace putting it in terms that she could understand so that she can see the damage that has been done. 

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

They can’t start anything without getting this poison purged, without fighting their way to the truth, no matter how badly it hurts, to start from somewhere clean and whole.

Whilst I know most would rather pretend that kiss at the end didn’t happen, I would like to make one comment on how it evokes Ace even when he’s not there.

Tristan comes to Nancy filled with emptiness, not knowing who he is, something she can entirely relate to - she’s just been rightfully chewed out by Ace who has broken her heart into even smaller pieces than previously thought possible, and walked away again. And then Tristan tells her exactly what she has only ever wanted to hear from Ace - that he feels connected to her, and he kisses her. And she tries, gosh she tries to get into it. Her hands go into his hair and then jerk back out when it’s not the expected softness of Ace’s hair. She tries again and still can’t. You can see on her face that this isn’t the fireworks and mind melting best kiss of her life. This isn’t even close. But then he says “But I know I can’t walk away from you” and it immediately taps into that memory. The heartbreak is on her face and it’s not Tristan she’s thinking of then, it’s another kiss in this space, and another person’s hair, and someone she desperately wants to stay, to choose her, who has walked away from her and broken her heart so many times over these last few weeks. There’s a breath of relief when her phone rings and offers her a way out of this. Because she thought this would be easy, that this would be better, good for her. And all it’s done is serve to highlight that there’s no one but Ace for her.

So we leave them with one episode to go, broken but healing, finding parts of themselves they hadn’t realised existed, and slowly coming back to their love. Always their love, it’s tangled into everything, and we’re finally going to see that play out next week.

On a personal note, this season has been a curious one for me. I’ve overall really enjoyed it, and I think a lot of that is down to doing these analysis posts. It’s forced me to go back over the episodes in miniscule detail, and to really examine what’s happening and why. Believe me there were weeks where I finished my first watch and wanted to post this gif and be done with it.

GIF by lecoeurasesgifs

But doing these posts has pushed me to unpick what the writers have been trying to do in a way I wouldn’t normally have engaged with. So thank you for feeding the meta beast. 

I can really understand why people have found this season frustrating, there have been a lot of shall we say interesting choices, for lack of a better word. Part of that is down to the completely broken system we have where shows kinda have to act like they’re about to get cancelled at any moment, which inhibits really thoughtful, interwoven long form storytelling, or they do what Nancy Drew have done and desperately hoped they will get to keep telling these stories and then have to pivot if they’re given any sort of warning that it’s over. And in this case, means we’ve had to have a hard pivot which has shafted a lot of storylines and left a lot of fans (myself included at points) wondering what the hell is going on.

That said, I’ve still really enjoyed the journey. Not just of this season, but the whole show. It’s given me a found family to root for, supernatural shenanigans, thoughtful and well plotted storytelling, and a romance for the ages. Yes I still think we’re going to get that, despite all the roadblocks in these last few episodes. It’s been my spoopy little comfort show through some really difficult years, and I am going to miss it hugely. Thank you to anyone who has read and engaged with these posts, it’s been such a joy both writing them and then talking with people afterwards about them. We’ve got one more wild ride to see how Horseshoe Bay and the Drew Crew will be left, and I cannot wait.

[cursedvibes]

This is my time to shine.

Can you do Nanami, Gojo, Yuki, and maybe Toji?

Thanks for the ask! Interesting choice of characters, some of them I usually don't talk or think about that often, so I hope what I have to say is still interesting :'D

Nanami

Sexuality Headcanon:

Hmm, I haven't thought much about this before. He gives me the impression of being interested in romance, maybe even more than sex, so biromantic maybe? And he gives me the vibe of being some flavour of asexual or that sex is not a huge priority for him. Might also be due to stress and depression, who knows.

Gender Headcanon:

Seems pretty cis to me.

A ship I have with said character:

None I can think of. Nanami doesn't really appeal to me that way.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Not sure if this counts as BROTP, but I like the dynamic between him and Yuuji, it's the most interesting thing about him in my opinion. Especially him telling Yuuji that it's okay to be a child and to not take on all the responsibility is very important to me. He was exactly the kind of teacher Yuuji needed at that time.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Mahito. Most of what I see of the two is just so painfully heteronormative. All just boils down to big burly guy and dainty manic pixie nightmare girl. I didn't find their interactions that interesting in canon either.

A random headcanon:

I don't have that many headcanons about him. Maybe that he likes to go drinking with Ijichi and they try to shake of the stress Gojo puts them under together.

General Opinion over said character:

He's okay. I like what he stands for and the type of teacher he is. He's very important to Yuuji and gives a very important insight into jujutsu society. His personality is just not that interesting to me. The concept of his character is good, but his general presence and dialogue don't stick with me at all.

Gojo

Sexuality Headcanon:

I'm wavering between bi or gay, not entirely sure and changes by the day. I think both would make sense for him.

Gender Headcanon:

The way the big three clans work and considering his position in jujutsu society makes me think he's a cis guy, but it could go either way really. He might just be stealth the Gojo Clan kept everything else to themselves after his birth to ensure his and their own superior status.

A ship I have with said character:

Not many. stsg generally makes sense to me, but I'm not actively shipping it or otherwise invested in it. Probably SukuGo then. I think Gojo chasing after Sukuna to desperately teach him about love is funny and it's wild that that's canon. Generally, the two are really fun in a hatesex or friends with benefits situation.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Tough because Gojo has no friends, he only hangs out with his students. joking (kind of) Honestly, I liked his bond with Riko a lot though. Unfortunately it often gets overlooked, but the two actually got along really well and Gojo was the one who interacted with her the most in HI. He made sure she would be able to live her life and have fun. Maybe he saw part of himself in her (they are very similar in their ties to Tengen and her robbing them of their youth). I also think he genuinely had fun hanging out with her and touring Okinawa.

A NOTP I have with said character:

GoYuu and I think also him and Shoko in a way....I just can't see those two being anything other than friends at best. Zero sexual tension there.

A random headcanon:

He actually has really bad vision and orients himself mostly by cursed energy signatures and Limitless. Just something I thought of when we got this panel

Besides the souls everything is blurry. Don't think this is really true and this was just to show his deeper focus on the inside of Megumi's body, but I think it would be interesting and a good balance for the otherwise insane capabilities of his six eyes. The more he uses them, the more his vision worsens.

General Opinion over said character:

Eh, it really depends (on my mood, the day, the star alignment etc.), but I don't hate him like Geto, he can just get pretty annoying and certain parts of his fanbase don't help. But otherwise he's fine.

Yuki

Sexuality Headcanon:

Bi. I want to say it's pretty even for her gender attraction-wise, but because of that catchphrase Gege gave her, which she also taught Todo, she does seem to have a heavy bias towards men. Not only her own attraction to them, which is fine, but somehow she thinks other people's attraction to her or their presumed opposite gender is important as well...worst part of her character for me. Doesn't help that she imparted that kind of thinking onto a child/teen as well.

Gender Headcanon:

She's pretty confident in her womanhood and it seems to be something that's important to her.

A ship I have with said character:

Kenjaku I think? But anything more than rivals and intellectual curiosity I like more in AUs than in canon. Them being research buddies with benefits is a fun concept to play around with. I mostly think their opposite goals and world views are very interesting and I like that Kenjaku respects her for that and values her disagreement with them. I wish this would've been more of a focus in their fight. The end of the fight is supposed to symbolize Kenjaku's vision for the future overcoming hers, but that wasn't really set up. We don't even know how Yuki intended to bring her world without cursed energy about or if she had a concrete plan at all. I would've liked to see more of that and have an actual ideological fight between the two instead of Yuki telling them how hot she thinks Choso is...

A BROTP I have with said character:

idk Kenjaku again. I think they should've settled their differences by writing a thesis about them and the one who gets the better results wins.

A NOTP I have with said character:

ChosoYuki. I don't like Choso and I think her constantly talking about Choso being her type in the fight really turned me off of the two. The way she died didn't help. She decided to sacrifice herself for Tengen after all, the thing she was originally created for and what she struggled against for decades. She is trying to protect people, see her vision for the future till the end, but we get none of that in the actual manga. Instead we jump to Choso crying about his brothers for the nth time...maybe I would like them more if they were handled differently in canon, but the way things are now I can't stand their ship.

A random headcanon:

Not really a headcanon, more a theory, but I think her research about the soul and discoveries that even after a merger or reincarnation, the other soul doesn't disappear, were made with the intention to one day free the souls of the Star Plasma Vessels trapped inside Tengen. It's also the first thing that got her into researching cursed energy more. Her grander visions for the future of jujutsu society came later and might've been about what she would do if she managed to kill or otherwise get rid of Tengen.

General Opinion over said character:

I really can't stand her catchphrase about asking someone's type or talking about her own. It's just annoying. I like her otherwise though and think she's very interesting. Gege way under-utelised her, especially in her final fight. I wish she stuck around longer and was the one who taught Yuuji more about souls. Would be very fitting because both of them were born with the intention to become the vessel of an old sorcerer. Except in Yuuji's case, his status as vessel seems to have been more intended as a stepping stone by Kenjaku, while Yuki was supposed to fully merge with Tengen. So yeah, very interesting character that could've been a lot more.

Toji

Sexuality Headcanon:

Whoever gives him money. He does seem to be genuinely attracted to women, but I think in his later years he just didn't care about sexuality anymore.

Gender Headcanon:

Cis man.

A ship I have with said character:

Shiu Kong. They definitely give me the vibe of guys who fuck each other on occasion. Shiu took care of Megumi in the past, so he might've lived with Toji for a while and helped him weather out the loss of his wife in multiple ways. Things got a bit too close at some point though and now they are a bit hesitant around each other. Shiu might've also felt slightly used by Toji and that's why he tries to keep his distance and not go out drinking with him or other more private activities. He tries to keep it professional, but doesn't always succeed.

A BROTP I have with said character:

He doesn't really have friends...the only one who counts is Shiu again.

A NOTP I have with said character:

I try to avoid most Toji ships honestly. Toji/Shiu is the only one I think is interesting and everything else is just about people being horny. Can't relate to that, so it is how it is.

A random headcanon:

It's not really about him, but I think Mrs. Fushiguro (Tsumiki's mother) is still out there, doing her own thing. She might've even visited Tsumiki a couple of times while she was in a coma. I just think it's interesting that she stuck around a bit and made sure the two kids didn't die. Even more suspiciously she conveniently disappeared right before Gojo showed up and then apparently never tried to get in contact again. For a long time I was hoping that we would find out more about her when Tsumiki wakes up because you can never trust mothers in jjk, but Gege threw Tsumiki's whole character into the bin, so that's unlikely. (Sorry this wasn't really about Toji, but this is the part of his backstory I spend the most time thinking about)

General Opinion over said character:

He's a good antagonist for his arc and for Gojo & Geto, but I otherwise don't care much about him.

[markmybirds]

15 Day BL Challenge

Doing this Day-By-Day will probably be too much for brain so I have decided since it's relaxed I will be doing this 1-5 days over 3 days. I just want to also add on that I am an avid watcher of many different kinds of dramas, and I embrace different countries also. But I will probably go off of mostly Thailand here. This will get more complicated if I invest in my JBL and TaiwanBL pools and Growing KBL. I may do honourary mentions to those couples though I choose to use some of those pairings as my faves.

(Mom Life..) Also final beginning note: All original screen grab/posters/gif makers are given credit in the image descriptions. Day One: Favourite OG Actor Pairing My choice is Boun Noppanut Guntachai and Prem Warut Chawalitrujiwong (With Honourary Mentions: Billkin & PP Krit, Both Nattapong & Newyear Kitiwhut, Max Kornthas & Nat Natasitt and Ja Phachara & First Chalongrat) I will say I didn't know who to choose because I don't know who would be considered "OG" so I went with like a comfort couple of mine that has been continuously a comfort couple. I can't put into words how much I love them but really, if it's BounPrem I'm there and I'm watching it. I love how both of them are "comfortable" in their own way and they have shown us that they can be supportive of one another even when working on their solo activities. Boun has also put people in their place a few times for misconceptions of himself and Prem. As for Prem I just have always enjoyed his quiet nature. Also his quick responses that come out of nowhere and surprise Boun. (Example: Saying I love you when Boun told an interviewer he would love someone to say it genuinely to him one day.. Or that he'd donate his heart to Boun if he needed a replacement. Actually my husband and Boun have the same condition! It's something that can be helped when they're older.)

Also. Boun has one of the best laughs in all of Thailand oh and his earrings~! Come at me if you disagree. I am vibrating in anticipation for The Vampire Project.

Day Two: Favourite Rookie Actor Pairing Oh boy. Uh. There are so many but I think in the circumstances that both of the actors were rookies when they did their first series together? Tutor Koraphat Lamnoi and Yim Pharinyakorn Khansawa. Although Yim had been in the business since he was a teenager he didn't have a successful drama until he was paired with Tutor in Cutie Pie as NuerSyn. (Honourary Second Place: GeminiFourth Honourary Third Place: DaouOffroad Honourary Taiwanese Coupling: Tseng Jing Hua and Peng Cian You~. And shush! They were SO A COUPLE OK. ).

I just enjoy these two so much, their aesthetic is of course off the charts with Yim's ethereal alien looks and the fae-kind creature we know as Tutor. I consider them my comfort couple. The moment Yim entered Cutie Pie as Syn I knew he'd be my favourite character. After I finally got more into CP due to War, I got smacked by them a second time years later.

Also don't tell Zee and NuNew or Max and Nat but they were my favourite land for DMDLand2. Poker Land slapped so hard and both of these men are super talented. Yim was even sick when he performed and Tutor kept taking glances to check in on him. They are my comfort couple, I enjoy their relationship (whatever it is offcam) dynamic that we get to see. They admit to bickering a lot at the beginning of their promotions as a CPL. I love how daring they have been since the beginning too, our poor Kla and Ker working hard to maintain their and our sanities with these two. I can't wait for "Battle of the Writers"! Day Three: Side Dish That Should've Been the Main Course Warning to those who are heart broken like me: NetJames Incoming.

This is going to hurt my heart. This drama was not a BL but the side dish was our same sex relationship trope in the drama. The main coupling was two amazing actors who I love dearly I just felt that the director did NOT use Great and Four's actually-there-tension at all. The side couple is: Net Siraphop Manithikhun and James Supamonkon Wongwisut as Captain and Foei in Catch Me Baby. (I advise for people's sanity to never read MDL comments on dramas though. They have a weird hate for Thai actors..) I am not going to sit here and explain how I feel about NetJames since the news. I respect them, and I think NetJames fans need to learn to respect their boundaries and what they are going through right now. Cause ISTG if I read another: WHERE IS ___!? in their IG lives again I will explode and take everyone out. Also, I will forever support them individually or together.

That said Captain and Foei had that frienemies to lovers trope and chef's kiss. Just. I started this drama before I got back into the Thai BL scene again and it was what made me anticipate and watch Bed Friend every week when it aired. I have honourary mentions but every one of these I loved the main couple just as much or a little more than these side couples so I didn't choose them. Or they were the second half of their show's main couple or they got a spin off or show of their own (LOOKIN AT YOU YIDIAO~). GeminiFourth as Heart and Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken, JeffBarcode as KimChay in KinnPorsche, TutorYim as NuerSyn in CP and CP2 and NB, AyaKate as YiwaMarine in Wedding Plan (This is GL couple~), PealSee as TheeThai from Laws of Attraction and you can argue this with me but if you saw MoD you know this is canon: GreatMD as Inspector M/Dr. Oat in Manner of Death. Oh one more. Sorry. I love myself a good Side Couple: Xiao Kaizhong and Gao Han as MaoK in Falling Into Your Smile (they're a couple ok. AS READER OF THEIR WEBNOVEL YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.)

Day Four: Fave Ship Dynamic Oh my gods. Do you know how hard this question is for me? I'm like.. "Yes?". As a character artist and avid role player I like most ship dynamics. Wardog would tell you it's "Side Character Plots". So if I had to choose only one it'd be Character with Trauma x Green Flag. I love it even more if the Green Flag learns to be one through trying to be there for their love interest. They could also just both be people with trauma and both be green flags who heal each other. I am extending an invitation to view this gifset by Pharawee in its entirety because it's my fave part of LITA. And I have a lot of fave parts in LITA.

And here are some couples that fit here: FortPeat as PrapaiSky from Love in the Air, JaFirst as LeoFiat from Don't Say No, Okura Takato and Hyuga Wataru as Kaido Amane and Yamasuga Ryuji from Kimi to Narakoi wo Shite Mite mo, Tseng Jing Hua and Peng Cian You as Pu Yi Yong and Cao Guangyan from Oh No! Here Comes Trouble, NetJames as KingUea in Bed Friend, JimmySea as MhokDay in Last Twilight, PavelPooh (PoohPavel? ekeke) as CharlieBabe from Pit Babe and I could be here all day listing this trope.. So one more and I think this ship works on both sides: BillyBabe as PhayaTharn from The Sign.

Day Five: Biggest Flop Uhm. The problem is I like lower-income-shows but I think because of the lack of ethics behind this show: For Him and not because of the cast. I really enjoyed the cast, I just feel awful they had to work with so little to get at least decent content out. And that Tor had been harassed and stalked by one of the production members. I enjoyed the first few episodes, though the decline in quality of script and shots the cast had been given is very evident each episode you go through. The chemistry of the couples was chemistrying even with scenes like stepping on a new tattoo... For more information about this I would view befuddledcinnamonroll's 15 Day Challenge and pharawee's (wow we're on that tumblr a lot in this) coverage of the issues: here and here. Also reading through some of the casts' Twitters and

Another "Possible Flop" right now, hopefully not forever, I would say is Red Peafowl. Which is such a shame since their pilot slapped so hard.

TBC tomorrow~.

To do your own 15 Day BL Challenge Go Here!

[attex]

are you still doing the ask game. tell me ur thoughts about fp

favorite thing about them

his personality but i can say this about most of my faves.. i love how hes stuck up and uncaring on the surface level but he is actually full of passion under there <3 i love him

least favorite thing about them

the fact that he doesn't make pained sounds when you hit him with things in rivulet or saint (like how moon makes pained sounds.. its sad i wish he made sounds like that too)

favorite line

hard choice. he has so many good lines that make me get gay af but if i have to choose atleast two in order.......

"I cannot help you. I cannot even help myself."

"These ordeals have made me understand what they all tried to tell me.

...I don't have to go through this alone."

brOTP

wit suns :) i just love how suns gets to be a makeshift mentor that has no idea what they're actually doing because despite their emotional investment they aren't logical enough to click and make the right choices regarding pebbles..

OTP

i'm insane* so i like no5 (or ragequit, colloquially..)

*selfshipping with extra steps

nOTP

i fucking hate sunstondfxghujertgeıyhwuwtgıerhsgfoer

random headcanon

i couldn't decide so my bf had to step in

unpopular opinion

he isn't as mean as most people make him out to be and nor is he that bitchy. people just cant write characters that aren't one trait.

also a weird niche headcanon i dislike is him having bpd. no he don't. project and cope as you want (its good to do this) but some people say its straight up there somehow . when it absolutely isn't Ok i have to stop before i start ranting and the mental disorder nerd within me unleashes

song i associate with them

THIS IS SO HARD I ASSOCIATE SEVERAL SONGS WITH HIM I'M PICKING SEVERAL. <3 THESE THREE are the songs i associate with him the most

I Love You More Each Time You Die

otc sleep aids

BAD LUCK!

favorite picture of them

uh... regarding the ingame artwork there isn't anything for him that i adore actively . does the fucking catboy outfit image where hes got his ass up and his thighs are really visible count.

I'm not posting that rn so instead ill post a pic my boyfriend drew of him that i still adore (@pothosrays)

HE'S SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM. AND HIS TIRED EYES <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[gay-jewish-bucky]

I just want to say that, while I get where it comes from, responding to the MCU mocking Steve's virginity post-serum and pre-ice with "Well, he and Bucky have been banging since the '30s," unintentionally plays into the wider social issue that drives their ridicule:

The notion that a, now "suddenly" (as said in this post, prior to the serum, Steve's virginity is irrelevant to them because of an ableist desexualisation of disabled people and our bodies), physically desirable and masculine man like Steve Rogers isn't sleeping with every woman he encounters is seen as inherently deficient and less of a man for it, that there is something fundamentally wrong with him.

It's and issue with how virginity in men is viewed by society at large.

While most articles I've found talk about this harm in relation to cisgender, heterosexual manhood (along with the double standards women often face) this is an issue that harms all genders and orientations.

Virgin-Shaming (TV Tropes):

Due to a Double Standard that emphasizes male promiscuity and female chastity, this trope more commonly applies to males than females. Virginity is seen as something silly that men need to get past as soon as possible...

Nature Abhors a Virgin (TV Tropes):

The negative attribute in question is defined very broadly. It can simply mean that they lack self-confidence, experience with women, or that they just aren't real men.

Unexpected Virgin (TV Tropes):

Due to a long-standing Double Standard, men are the most common examples of this trope. In fiction, men past puberty are often expected to have had sex.

Of Course I'm Not a Virgin (TV Tropes):

Everybody Has Lots of Sex is a concept so ubiquitous in modern western media, that the very idea that any character, for any reason, is a virgin is something that comes off as alien and bizarre. ...This trope is most common with characters who, given what other information we know about them, would have logical reasons to be a virgin.

Sex Is Cool (TV Tropes):

In the media, sex is often portrayed as "cool". If you're not having sex, then you're a snivelling misfit and a loser.

Virgin-Shaming: Having Sex Out Of Peer Pressure Robs Us Of Our Right To Choose (shethepeople):

Generally, if a person has not had their first time, they are subjected to offensive jokes about virginity. It is assumed that a person becomes ‘mature’ only when they have had sex. Otherwise, they are seen as the innocent kid of the group... Virgin-shaming is more common among men. This is because our society defines the masculinity of a man with his sexual prowess. The more sexually experienced a man is, the more masculine he is. Since men do not ‘lose’ anything if they are not a virgin, it is assumed that no rational man would say no to sex. When patriarchy has invested freedom, power and the right to complete pleasure in the hands of men, there is no reason considered valid enough for a man to deny sex, apart from some fault in him.

Sexually active women? Sluts. Virgin men? Losers. (The Strand):

Men, however, are generally far less encouraged to think out their decisions when it comes to when they’ll lose their virginity and to whom. In fact, rarely will you hear anyone refer to having “taken the virginity” of a man. Instead, men are more pressured from their compatriots to find a conquest as soon as possible to shed their virginity in order to seem more manly. For men, the pressure is quite the opposite. Once puberty hits, men are expected to become machines of sexual activity and to seek out conquests almost immediately... Why do men see the choice to abstain as so unnatural? Why do they feel the need to compare their “body counts,” as if it’s a measure of their manhood? Possibly, because men are taught that they are responsible for convincing women to sleep with them; that they’re the hunters and women are their prey. This message is hammered in by other males, as well as by pop culture.  ...The reflex to judge others for not acting as society dictates is ingrained in us from childhood, but when you question those norms, you begin to see how utterly ridiculous it is to force those views on individuals.

Stigmatized Virginity and Masculinity (DigitalCommons at The University of Nebraska - Lincoln):

Virginity status is one way to make meaning of one’s sexual identity, with individuals often viewing virginity as a gift, a stigma, or a stage in the process of growing up (Carpenter, 2001). Viewing virginity as a stigma is congruent with hegemonic masculinity and cultural-level masculine sexual scripts of using heterosexual sex to define manhood (e.g., Humphreys, 2013). 

When Having Sex Is A Requirement For Being Considered ‘A Real Man’ (Mel Magazine):

As Fleming explains, virgin-shaming is present in any social space where having sex is an implicit requirement for being considered “a real man.” ...Fleming says the virgin status is ascribed to someone and, when used as an insult, implies a failure of masculinity. Fleming’s paper tries to illuminate how certain groups subscribe to a dominant form of masculinity requiring men to objectify women and explains that being a virgin in this context means disobeying the rules of masculinity. (After all, you can’t really claim to be objectifying women if they’re not even letting you have sex with them.) In the recently published study, Fleming and Davis frame virgin shaming as a “manhood act,” one which allows men to be seen as belonging to the more privileged gender. One of the primary manhood acts, he says, is having heterosexual sex — and bragging about it. More broadly, virgin-shaming has the effect of suppressing alternative forms of masculinity that don’t necessarily place a high value on scoring with chicks; Men who act differently or hold a different kind of masculinity don’t get the opportunity to express that masculinity as much, while the dominant “hegemonic” kind endlessly gets repeated, putting down those competing masculinities. That repeats the cycle of men experiencing stigma for being virgins. The images we see in the media set the bar for what is normal and desirable. A large part of masculine protagonists in films, for example, portray an almost effortless ability in courting women. These sorts of images very easily become a model of what the pinnacle of manliness looks like, reinforcing the notion that, to be manly, one has to be “scoring” with chicks. ...What virgin-shaming could be used for, besides simply a way to look manly in comparison to someone else, was to actually bring the male virgin into conforming with the norms: essentially, to get him laid so he’s a man like the rest of the gang.

The 'Problem' of Male Virginity (Everyday Feminism):

One of the things that I’ve seen come up over and over again in the aftermath of the UCSB shooting is the number of men... talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin. They talk about feeling broken or unworthy, that they’ve missed some sort of open time frame where they could lose their virginity and now they’re (metaphorically) screwed. It feels like everyone knows – like you’ve been branded by a giant V. One of the reasons why men tend to freak out about the idea of being a virgin – especially being a virgin past college – is that we’ve grown up in the shadow of a cultural narrative that we believe to be law. The Standard Virginity Loss Narrative tells us that men are supposed to lose their virginity by a certain age – sometimes by age 18, sometimes by 21. The earlier you lose it, the better off you are... The narrative is fiction. It’s an idealized, heteronormative, suburban middle class ideal that the vast majority of us don’t live in.  The story turns our sexual development into a performance, just as masculinity is often a performance. And just as traditional masculinity is a fragile thing, any minor deviation from the Virginity Narrative throws the whole thing into disarray. When men fail to live up to this entirely arbitrary standard, we feel not just as though we’ve failed but that we’re failures. We’re defective. Wrong. And there will be plenty of people eager to reinforce the narrative, to mock us, and tell us that this deviation from the narrative calls our masculinity into question. Just as the gender police are eager to punish people who don’t live up to the traditional definitions of manhood. It’s not really surprising, to be honest. We fetishize virginity in men and women, just in opposite ends of the spectrum... But losing his virginity, on the other hand? That’s when the world is supposed to open up for you. The coming of age narrative for men inevitably links losing one’s virginity with becoming a man.  When you cry and moan about how awful it is that you haven’t had sex yet, you contribute to the problem. You’re helping to perpetuate the idea that virgin = defect. Even when those complaints are turned inward and you’re silently castigating yourself, you are continuing to reinforce that there’s something wrong because you haven’t had sex yet. You have to learn to let go of being defensive about it or feeling embarrassed, to stop responding as though being a virgin means you’ve done something wrong or that there’s something wrong with you. It means you have to consciously reframe your own thought patterns, reminding yourself that not having had sex yet has no bearing on your value as a person no matter your age. “You’re still a virgin.” “Yes, and?” “Have you ever even seen a woman naked before? “Not yet, so?” The people who will mock you and try to shame you are of no account; they’re showing themselves to be assholes, and why should you care about the opinions of assholes? Your value doesn’t come from who you have or haven’t slept with. It doesn’t come from where you fall on the bell-curve of starting sexual activity, whether you were precocious or a late bloomer.