#because i couldn’t see him or even hear him unless he interacted with the environment

[fingertipsmp3]

I can’t explain it but I do feel like there’s ghosts and supernatural stuff going on. Obviously I have no proof but I 100% believe it

[ashacadence]

Baldur’s Gate 3

This is just my impression so far and why I’ve been not so active. Yes I like the game and having fun with it. Or at least to a degree. I can see the replay ability with it but I’ll get to that in a second.

The game in on itself is addicting. I get the itch and I just fall into that hypnotic grind of wanting to explore, look through stuff and bring the maps to life the more pockets and paths I find. It’s nice and there’s neat fights or really cool places to see. All very beautiful scenery. The environment stuff and the interactions of discovering hidden treasures or characters noticing something as filler info. Super cool. I’ll find myself just trying to look for hidden paths to navigate or spot something that catches my eye to go and look.

The fucking camera is annoying. Also the movement/pathing tracking or whatever can sometimes be it’s own worst enemy. I dunno if it’s better to play on the controller or not but I doubt it with how complex and easier it is to simply stick with mouse and keyboard. I just wish the camera pan and zoom was better instead of fighting it.

The characters in on themselves are entertaining and each are unique in their own special ways. Now, I’ve only been limited to the main three with mine but I’ll get to that in a sec. Lae’zel I’m still ehhhhhh on. I get why she’s prickly but oh boy she tests my patience some times. Also she hit on me at some point that had me sputtering and cackling.

I didn’t choose option 3. I chose 2. The screenshot had my mouse at that third one.

But y’all should have heard me laughing. Even if she was turned down she took it well but still with that confidence of “pssh you’re missing out.”

Girl…I’m trying to bang the vampire man okay. Maybe Halsin. Dunno yet. Haven’t gotten that far.

Shadowheart and I are good friends. She’s a little cinnamon roll but oh so blinded by her religion. Shadow babe hun you are so much more if you let yourself be more.

Astarion, I love his sass. We will either be best buds or friends with benefits or more. Don’t care. Happy to chat with him and have him around. His sass is great.

I would love to talk about more but here’s the thing. This is all the active people I have besides wyll who just doesn’t have enough for me to engage all that much with and I blame the writing for the game. He’s a very nice guy who’s in a bad situation but just doesn’t have that oomf for me personally just yet. Halsin I’m just now starting on his quest so I can get him in my party.

I missed my chance to get gale and karlach. This is where the start of my frustrations go where the game is unforgivable in making it obvious or segues on hey you should find this person like gale for one. Didn’t realize he was a random thing that’s seemingly dangerous and my instinct was oh let’s avoid this. Like come on. Karlach apparently was timed and I couldn’t get her after wyll gets his first punishment. Very unfair I thought. I been hearing karlach is an amazing character but nope. Won’t get that chance unless I restart back to wherever and/or replay the game entirely. BS

I’m trying to be vague as possible from spoiling and not giving too much big story info away so forgive me on the wyll part but that made me irritated. Because I wanted the whole deck of characters and be in on the know.

Also I think it’s BS of the game to only be four members when traveling. Should be 5-6 at least. Dunno if it’s just game coding and all that where that can be potentially be harder to process the different character AI and whatnot but man.

Extra members would be super helpful especially in big fights that are literally meant to beat the shit out of you. Some fights I had to redo two-four times. Some I had to weasel around and not just go in. Don’t care as this may be a subjective debate on how you play the game or how the game is but honestly it’s a bit counter intuitive. One of the big boss fights I won’t say I spent nearly three hours on. I was thinking omg am I even going to be able to continue because the game is that big of a jerk to players. I’m playing on balanced. Medium essentially or normal. Not that it matters but I also heard story teller or previous difficulty is not that much different either. There have been moments of progress I would make only to get knocked back an hour’s worth some times that makes me head desk. I try to save as often as I can.

But ya some of the fighting I just dread knowing it’s somehow going to be ass in some way because there’s hardly much of a means to prepare for everything unless you do. Then of course you retry with a different set up and the game may still be a absolute dick. It’s a matter of luck in a fight.

Like common sense at least to me hits with up close combat. Lot of the times my characters will miss on some swings that’s completely dumb in my book. You have this giant monster three feet in front of you and you miss a arc swing?? How?? I get that’s just how the spirit of dnd is but this is where computer vs tabletop comes into play on this scenario. It’s just how it’s coded and gotta live with it. Save a lot. Retry.

But ya some of the scenarios in or out of combat and just even the dice rolls will sometimes be absolute garbage on occasion. That’s just how it is on that too.

It’s a love hate with this game and there’s just some cases and things above like I wish the game was a bit more straightforward on like gathering more members and where and how to find them and time frames. Hell even one part in act one to do a certain something was on a time frame that I didn’t know about. So I’m just always anxious that everything is pretty much timed.

I do enjoy the game but I just have criticisms on it. I’m not hating on the game don’t raise pitchforks at me. It’s very entertaining and taking up my time because I’m fixated on it.

[rodr1cks]

Sick Day | 2.1k

fluff!! you’re sick and rodrick comes to the rescue.

warnings: vomit, being sick in general

All day you had been feeling extremely ill. The nurse at school was being impossible and refused to send you home, despite your pleas.

“Please Mrs. Williams, I feel terrible you have to believe me!”

She was extremely skeptical, “Child, do you know how many times I hear that in a day? You don’t have a fever, back to class.”

And just like that, you were dismissed. Sent to endure the rest of your classes in misery.

The day went by painfully slow after your trip to the nurse. The fluorescent lights berated your pupils making it impossible to concentrate and worsening your headache.

It was sixth period, the last class of the day. Also your least favorite class of the day. You couldn’t stand the teacher. Mr. Wright. He was your classic asshole history teacher.

You were completely zoned out, trying to focus on not vomiting. Your name being called pulled you out of your haze.

“Miss y/l/n? Do you care to answer me? Unless you’re busy of course.”

Condescending bastard.

You held your tongue, swallowing any smart-ass comments that threatened to spill past your lips. You cleared your throat.

“I’m sorry, what was the question.”

He went through the whole “this is a learning environment” lecture after that. Again, you didn’t listen. You couldn’t have even if you wanted to. Thankfully, he left you alone after that.

Finally, the last bell of the day sounded through the school. You lept from your seat and ran to the bathroom. You practically body slammed the door open. Luckily, the bathroom was empty, most kids having already filed out of the main doors, eager to begin their weekend festivities.

You were hunched over one of the white porcelain bowl, tears filling your eyes.

Today could not get any worse.

After taking a few deep breaths, you were able to compose yourself enough to exit the bathroom.

You crossed your fingers, hoping that the halls had been completely evacuated.

You crept through the empty corridors and out into the parking lot. You were especially dreading the walk home today.

You were walking through the parking lot, enjoying the fresh air when you saw him. Rodrick Heffley.

The two of you were best friends in elementary school but you drifted apart after a while. You honestly developed a certain distaste for him, as he had you.

Please don’t notice me, please don’t-

“Y/n!”

Shit.

“Rodrick!” you feigned enthusiasm.

His brow furrowed, “You look… paler than usual?” You rolled your eyes, classic Rodrick. You wanted this interaction to end, immediately. “Yup. Not feeling well.” You deadpanned, providing little detail.

Rodrick hesitated for a moment, “Well, let me drive you home, kid.”

Kid. Who did he think he was?

“I think I’ll pass, weather is nice today.” The weather was far from nice.

“Oh really, the weather is nice, y/n? Where are you right now? Because it’s raining where I am.”

He sighed, “and I also saw that little performance Mr. Wright gave you...”

Oh so he pities me.

“Rodrick, If I get in your van will you stop talking?”

He motioned, pretending to zip his lips up and throw away the key. A small smile spread across your face but you didn’t let him see that.

A few minutes into the drive, you decided you were glad you let him take you home. The sky had opened up and it was storming.

Oh God.

“Rodrick, pull over, now.”

He looked over at you and could tell what was about to happen. He pulled over quickly and you opened the door. You leaned over and vomited right onto the grass patch parallel to the road, in the pouring rain.

Coyly, you returned to your seat in the van. You were unsure if you should apologize, so you stayed silent.

“Y/n, are your parents home?”

He knew they never were. Ever since you were a kid, your parents had been anywhere but home. Business trips, vacations, retreats, you name it.

You looked down at your shoes, water dripping from your hair, and shook your head.

“Alrighty then, change of plans.”

You protested, “Rodrick that’s really not necessary I’ll be fine.” Part of you knew there was no point in arguing. If he was one thing, it was stubborn.

He reached out, placing the back of his hand on your forehead to prove a point, “Y/n, you’re burning up. You’re coming with me.”

You were closer to his house anyways. That’s how you justified it, at least.

His van pulled into The Heffley’s driveway. Rodrick got out and rushed around the vehicle to open your door.

“Come along, y/n. I know somebody who will be very happy to see you,” he grinned.

The front door swung open and you were hit with a wave of nostalgia. The Heffley’s house was always warm and always smelled spectacular. Somehow, Mrs. Heffley was always baking or cooking something.

“Y/n? What a nice surprise this is!” Mrs. Heffley beamed. She had always loved you. “How I’ve missed seeing your face around here!” She said, placing her hands on your checks.

“You’re soaking wet!” You nodded awkwardly in response. “And goodness, you’re burning up! Are you feeling alright?” She felt your forehead and cheeks, then squeezed your shoulders gently.

From a young age, Mrs. Heffley had looked after you as one of her own. Nothing had changed it seemed.

“No, actually,” you smiled half-heartedly. Mrs. Heffley frowned at you. “Rodrick, get her some dry clothes, would you?.” Rodrick nodded, leading you up the stairs.

You stood in his room, obviously uncomfortable. He was knelt in front of his dresser, digging around for something.

“Ah! Here it is.”

Rodrick whipped out a t-shirt for you to change into. He grabbed a pair of black sweats from another drawer as well.

“Here you are, mademoiselle.” He stuck out the wad of clothing in your direction. You couldn’t lie, you were happy to have some dry clothes to change into.

You stepped into his bathroom, taking a moment to examine your appearance. You looked rough. Intense bags hung low under your eyes and you truly did look more pale than usual. Fantastic.

You emerged from the bathroom, Rodrick’s clothing drooping slightly from your frame. Rodrick was sitting on the end of his bed and he patted the surface.

You joined him on his twin mattress, only because you were exhausted.

“Rodrick, why are you being nice to me?”

He looked guilty. “You’ve had a rough day, y/n…”

He sucked in a breath, “...and y’know I’ll always care about you.”

How could he still care for you? You completely wrote him off when high school began.

“Listen, y/n, the past is in the past, okay?”

A genuine smile appeared on your face. Before the moment could become too sentimental, Rodrick interjected.

“Oh! Be right back,” he chirped.

He ran downstairs and came back with an orange soda and some cold & flu medicine.

Rodrick explained himself, “Orange! Like, vitamin C, right?” He looked too happy with himself, you couldn’t bring him down. At least his heart was in the right place.

Concealing your laughter to the best of your ability, you accepted the beverage and medicine from his hand.

You hated this kind of medicine with your whole heart. The orange soda could be useful honestly, just not for its nutritional value like Rodrick intended.

Rodrick measured out the appropriate amount of the medicine for you as you cracked open the can. He handed you the small cup full of the thick, red liquid.

You threw back the grotesque cherry flavored solution, grimacing as it coated your throat. You chased the medicine with the orange soda. See, it did come in handy.

You leaned back into Rodrick’s pillows, trying to relax.

About fifteen minutes later you felt extremely drowsy. “Rodrick, can I see that bottle?”

“Uh, sure,” he said, confused.

You read the bottle and instantly threw your head back in annoyance. “Rodrick this is the drowsy kind!” You continued inspecting the bottle, “and it’s extra strength!”

With each second passing, it got increasingly difficult to keep your eyes open.

Everything was blurry and you were teetering between consciousness and sleep.

“Rodrick,” you slurred. “I’m so sorry I stopped talking to you… stopped being your friend. Felt like I wasn’t cool or pretty enough… didn’t deserve you.”

Rodrick was extremely confused. You thought you were too good for him? He had to hold back a laugh.

He couldn’t conceal his smile, “Excuse me? Y/n, that must be the nyquil talking.” He rolled his eyes and brushed off your comment, contemplating the sentiment for a mere moment.

You eventually drifted off, unable to ward off sleep any longer.

When you woke up, you first noticed rodrick. He was sitting on his beaten up couch with his headphones covering his ears. You could hear the muffled baseline from your spot across the room.

How are his eardrums still intact?

Rodrick had a shoebox on his lap and he was shuffling through the contents, smiling to himself.

You cleared your throat, obtaining his attention.

“Oh, y/n! You’re up!” He smiled at you, ripping off his headphones.

You nodded slowly, knuckling your eyes sleepily.

“What time is it?”

Rodrick glanced at his watch, “It’s only 8:30.” You nodded again, continuing to rub the sleep from your eyes.

Rodrick stood, picking up the box and walking over to you. “Look,” he said softly. You peered down into the small shoebox and numerous photos and letters.

“This one here is my favorite,” he said quietly. It was a picture of you and Rodrick at the roller rink. You recognized the photo immediately.

“Seventh grade kick off,” you smiled. You took the box from his lap and began looking through each photo, braided friendship bracelet, concert ticket.

You laughed as each item brought back memories you had long forgotten.

You stopped at a photo of the two of you dressed up in ridiculous outfits. You wore a sequined hat and Rodrick held his drumsticks in hand.

“Was this when we saw Good Charlotte?” You asked.

He giggled, “It sure was. I remember thinking I looked so hot that night. Guess not huh.”

“What are you talking about, you looked incredible Rodrick. Seventh grade me was dying to jump you right then and there.”

His face lit up, “Really?”

“No,” you flashed him an expressionless look before breaking out into side-splitting laughter. He joined you.

You missed this feeling of pure, unadulterated joy. Rodrick was the only person who you had truly experienced that with.

You sighed to yourself. Come tomorrow, you’d be back to strangers. Tears welled up in your eyes and your lip quivered. Rodrick was oblivious until a single tear drop fell onto the photograph below you.

He immediately tried to comfort you. He placed an arm around your shoulder, dragging you into his larger frame. It caught you off guard but you allowed yourself to melt into his touch.

Rodrick distracted you from your sorrow. “Look at this one right here.” It was a photo of you and the Heffley Family in their backyard. You and Rodrick were around fifteen, if you remembered correctly.

“This was the day that I realized I had a big, fat crush on you.”

He followed up, “S’lame I know…”

Heat flooded your cheeks, this time the heat was not a result of your illness. Was it anxiety? Happiness? Both? You couldn’t decide.

“You never really explained why you stopped talking to me and coming by my house.”

You shrugged at him, feeling like your explanation would make him mad. “Well, Rodrick, you started getting new friends. Friends that were better than me or cooler than me.”

“Y/n that is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I could never replace you. To this day, nobody’s ever come close.”

He gave you a playful smack over the head.

“...anyways, to be honest that crush never really went away?”

Before you had time to process the sentence he was gently grabbing your chin, turning your head.

You were facing him now, your lips only inches away from his.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Y-yeah, yes, I think so, yeah.”

He laughed at you and leaned in slowly. Rodrick used one finger to gently move your hair out of your face.

The kiss was gentle and filled with emotion.

You felt like you hadn’t known what you were missing out on until that moment. You felt completed.

“Oh shit, I better not get sick!”

[intergalactic-padawan]

inquisitor - Ezra Bridger

Requested: yes, by the beautiful @raganbridger! Sorry for the wait, it's finally here!

Warnings: angst, dark side!reader, confusion, mentions of bad injuries/blood, betrayal

A/N: You asked for le angst, so here it is! I've had this idea for a long while and this request was the motivation I needed to start. LOTS of alternative endings were written, this was mostly the reason it took so long.

Pronouns of reader: she/her

*ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE! I make mistakes just like everybody else 😉*

x

.

-"oh, good, you're awake"

You sit and inhale sharply, focusing back on the real world, startled at the strange voice.

Well, not so strange per se. You knew who was talking to you. What was strange was why he was talking to you.

Before you can adjust your vision to the unfamiliar environment, the memories from hours earlier instantly come flooding back.

Malachor. The place where jedi go to die.

An easy kill for you and your inquisitor colleagues.

That's what they had said on the ship, at least. You, on the other hand, knew better than to underestimate how slippery those jedi could be - especially if they fought side by side, like they always did.

You remember cornering the younger one during the fight. His skill was minimal compared to yours, which would give you an advantage against his master if he were to die first.

The boy and his friends go after the sith holocron. There had been a blinding light when it was placed at the altar.

And also, the jedi knight who was blinded by your former master, Maul.

Maul.

Not only had the cursed man left you for dead years before, he had come back from hiding to haunt you and join forces with your other enemies.

But you were an inquisitor. You wouldn't - you couldn't let him get the best of you, not this time.

You feel a light hand pressing your forehead and recoil in fear, reaching for your lightsaber, only to feel it was not there.

-"whoah, woah, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you" - it was the padawan you'd been fighting before - Ezra Bridger. He had placed you and his master inside a cave in a planet you were not familiar with when you'd escaped Malachor.

You'd escapd Malachor? But how?

You couldn't have, unless he'd carried you back to his ship.

-"hey, hey, it's alright."

-"what do you want, jedi?" - you wince in pain again.

-"a thank you would be nice, actually. I did just save your life"

-"a foolish mistake. One you will pay for with yours"

You reach out for your lightsaber, but can't feel it anywhere close. Scouring with the force for its presence, you quickly realize he must have hidden it outside the place.

-"Nope, absolutely not" - just as quickly, he slaps your outstreched hand - "I may be an idiot, but i'm not stupid. Your lightsaber's not here, it's caused enough damage already."

You rub the hand he pushed away, more shocked at his actions than anything. How DARE he?

-"Then what do you want from me, if not revenge? Why treat my wounds if not to finish the battle we started?"

-"Listen, I'm not sure if it's the adrnaline or something, but you're in no condition to fight anyone any time soon"

-"You underestimete me, Jedi. Even in these conditions you would be no match for me."

-"Like I wasn't a match for you at the sith temple?"

At the mention of the event, images of the fight start to come back.

Back at the sanctuary, you drew him away from the fight, knowing his strengh lied with his allies. Only, you hadn't imagined your former master to join his side - not until you'd seen the holocron in Ezra's hands, at least. You'd warned him: "he will use it and throw you away. Like he did to me". Needless to say, he didn't listen.

Your vision starts to lose focus at the intensity of your anger and you groan in pain, not able to sit anymore. Driven by instinct, the padawan holds your side so you won't fall completely, pressing your abdomen and making you hiss in pain.

-"ah, looks like I was right. You're conscious, but not healed" - you feel yourself be adjusted back on the ground, too weak to fight him.

-"where are we? Why did you save my life?"

He hesitates, eyes studying you, like you might attack him any second and he still knew it.

-"not so sure" - he finally answers - "maybe because now you owe me one?"

-"Did you hit your head or something?" You scoff - "Make no mistake, I WILL kill you when the opportunity rises!"

-"And that is why your lightsaber privileges have been revoked for now."

You lock eyes, studying him like he had you. It made no sense- you'd followed his group to the sith temple, tried to kill him several times, called for the man who had murdered his strongest ally, Ahsoak Tano. Why was he helping you?

With a shiver, you realize he's still holding your side, not as firmly as before but still providing support for your back. Inhaling sharply, you graze his hand and he lets go instantly, realizing how close the two of you had gotten.

Standing up just as quickly, he brushes a strand of unruly hair our of his forehead, while you you clean your throat, diverting your attention to the exit of the cave. The rain pours on the large trees outside, but you can't make out much except for the fact that you're in a forest planet (maybe a moon?) and his ship is in less than ideal conditions to get out of it.

-"here" - Ezra kneels down with two bacta patches and a piece of fabric from a medical kit -"i felt your back was pretty sore, but didn't want to take off your shirt while you were out. Your cuts need cleaning."

You hesitantly take the items, using the rocks behind you as support to lean your body on. He stands up, hands on hips, and chuckles when you sniff the gel, suspicious.

With the small bit of privacy he gives you by turning around to check on his master, you fumble with your shirt, deciding to take it off in order to see better.

-"Need some help over there?" - he asks, hearing you grunt in frustration at not being able to reach some spots

-"Not from you, thank you very much"

-"Oh, so she CAN say thank you! That's a welcome change"

You throw the rag at his direction, irritated out of your mind. Who does he think he is??

He must sense the harmless ball of soaked fabric coming his way, turning around to catch it mid-air. Now that he's turned, you see a glimpse of amusement in his eyes at your rage, giving you the answer you needed as to why he went through the trouble of saving you; it was merely to see you suffer and laugh at your expense, apparently.

His expression quickly changed when he saw your bruised torso, however.

- "who did this to you?" - he whispers, and you look down at you look down at your sore ~ well, everything~, covered only by a wrap in the bust area.

-"As you said, jedi. I may be better than you, but you still gave me a decent challenge"

"No. I didn't even hit you there." - his serious reaction to your injuries had caught you off guard, you had to admit. - "those are old and deep, you shouldn't even be able to walk!"

-"I'm not, remember?" - you motion at your debilitated situation, unable to even sit down or cross your legs properly -"But i will be, soon. And then it's over for you"

-"you know what? I think if you wanted to, you would have killed me by now." - he shoots back and you're impressed at his audacity once again.

But he had a point. Why hadn't you attacked him yet?

Sure, you had no lightsaber or phisical conditions to stand, but your force abilities were still as strong as ever. You were vulnerable, but so was he, and you weren't kidding when you said you could deal with him even at your worse.

-"you know what? " - you cross your arms. He was playing with fire now - "maybe I might"

-"and why haven't you?"

-"because I wouldn't enjoy it as much." - you snap back venomously - "I want to see you suffer before I bring you to Lord Vader"

His expression darkens at the mention of Ahsoka's murderer. His whole body stiffens as he balls his wrists and clearly struggles to control his anger at the recent loss. For a moment, you fear you've gone too far, but reprimand yourself for worrying about his feelings over yours. You're not supposed to be anything more than indifferent to the weak and ruthless to those who dare oppose you.

-"Yeah, no matter what you do, you're still imperial scum"

You're not prepared for those words to affect you so much. You're supposed to have a response, but nothing coherent seems to come out of your mouth, so you settle for an an uncomfortable silence.

It doesn't last for long, however, as his comlink goes off. It's his droid, asking - no, demanding - that he go help him with repairs on the ship. He hesitates, looking at you and contemplating how bad it would be to leave you unnatended in the company of his defenseless master.

-"Dont worry."- You reassure him. -"I won't make his situation worse. Maul is the worse you can get, and I refuse to step that low"

You can see he doesnt like it, but leaves for a few moments before returning with what must be the droid that talked to him before. It was a C1 series unit with an orange top and a bratty atitude, you could tell that much by just seeing him interact with the jedi.

-"Chopper will stay here, just in case"

-"I understand. It's fine."

-"I wasn't asking if you were fine with it. Behave" - you can't be sure if his command is directed at you or the droid, but you weren't about to ask.

The coldness he now had to his voice was understandable - you had worked to get him to that emotional state - ,but you felt hurt at the change. The droid didn't do much to help you think clearly about what just happened, and by the look of it, your frustration would only grow bigger in the many hours it would still take to repair the ship to a normal flying condition.

'He thinks i'm imperial scum, huh?' - you think as you scour a pile of your belongings with the force, not too far away inside the cave.

Bad news, your lightsaber really wasn't there.

Good news, your wrist comm was.

'i'll show him imperial scum'

With a plan forming in mind, all you had to do now was be patient and wait for the right time. There's no exchange of words between the two of you when he gets back, which makes time fly by before he's betrayed by exaution and finally gives in to sleep. You take care of the droid easily after that.

Activating the tracking beacon, you start to leave the cave, but not before noticing the boy's lightsaber beside him. It was a bold move, he could easily wake up if you took it, but you knew that if he woke up to see you gone you'd need it to compensate for your injuries.

You were still on opposing sides, after all.

You knew there had to be an imperial ship near the planet, and they would pick up your signal in an instant when you called. Wallking to a less dense area of the forest, away from the crash site, you're proven right when, in a matter of minutes, a shuttle tripulated by four troopers and a senior lieutenant meet you on the ground.

-"and what of the jedi?" - the higher ranking woman asks when you finish your brief description of the events that led you there.

Well, not all events. You'd left out the part where Bridger had helped you recover.

You could just tell them to take the two jedi for excecution. You were supposed to do it, in fact.

-"it's just me. And the younger one's lightsaber" - you finally answer, not exactly knowing why you'd deliberately just saved them.

She nods curtly and escorts you back to the ship without a second glance. It was a good story so far, but you would have to work on it if your superiors were to believe it.

-"Wait- " - you start, second-guessing your motives for not giving away their location. One of the troopers turns to you expectantly.

-"yes, sir?"

You hesitate for a moment, ready to do what you'd beeen taught to do your whle life. Kill the jedi.

Kill the jedi.

A tingling crept up your sides, where the padawan had touched earlier to give you support. You try to betray the gut feeling pressing you to do your duty as an inquisitor, but it's stronger than you. Something is forcing your better judgement to be leaving your natural enemies alive.

-"nothing." - the tingle goes away as soon as it had come, leaving an unusual feeling of relief. - "Thought i'd sensed something. Let's leave"

'Perhaps it's for the best'. - you think as the shuttle's door closes. After all, you did owe him one for saving your life - whatever his reason was for doing so.

That was what you told yourself as you boarded the ship, at least. Now, the next time you saw him, there would be nothing to stop you from finishing him and his friends for good.

.

x

Hope you like it? I gave him a 'hands on hips' moment in honour of your videos for a more personalized touch hahahaha

[zzizzigom]

Fun | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Fem!Reader (2nd person p.o.v but no Y/N use) Genre/Warning(s): no warnings, minor fluff Length: 1.8k words Summary: in which you've joined Sam and Bucky on their mission and have ended up at Sharon's home in Madripoor. AO3 Link

A/N: I haven't written something in AGES, and this isn't anything particularly special but it's something I was able to finish and that's a relief for me right now. If you read it, I hope it brings at least a little joy to your day:)

Apologies for any typos I may have missed while editing.

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You stood at the bar, drink in hand, as you people watched. The overall vibe of Sharon’s house-turned-club was jovial. You’d caught glimpses of Sharon speaking to buyers, tablet in hand. You didn’t know how she got any type of business done in this environment but, looking at the state of the mansion and the fact she has it all to herself, it seemed to be working just fine for her.

From the corner of your eye you caught sight of a figure sauntering towards you. Your gaze dragged to the man and watched with barely hidden contempt as he smirked. As soon as he came within earshot you met his gaze. “Turn around. You don’t want me.”

His eyes went blank and the smirk fell off his face. His voice was monotone and heavy as he repeated, “I don’t want you.”

Then he spun on his heel and walked back the way he came. You watched for a moment, only turning away when he shook his head clearing away the compulsion. Lifting your champagne flute to your lips, you catch sight of Zemo circling the dance floor. Surprisingly, he’s bobbing his head to the music and you almost laugh. You figured Zemo would’ve preferred a classical piece or maybe some type of orchestral villain theme song.

Your eyes linger for a moment, the usual suspicion settling on your shoulders but when he continues to just bob to the beat you figure it’s fine. Next to you, someone plops down on the empty stool and you turn readying the command to leave you alone. It dies on your tongue when you catch sight of Sam.

“You watching Zemo, too?”

“Yeah. But unless his killer dance moves are actually murderous, I think we’ll be fine.”

Sam snorts and takes the drink the bartender hands him. “Anything from Sharon yet?”

“Nope. She’s still doing her rounds.” You sigh and then move in for another sip only to find your glass empty. Setting it down on the bar top, you turn away from it. If you’re expected to be going straight to Nagel’s hideout after this you don’t want to have too much.

“I saw you turn that guy away,” Sam commented.

“Okay.” Years ago someone pointing out you using your abilities would’ve brought you shame and guilt. But now it no longer bothered you…too much.

“If Zemo can seemingly have fun for a little bit, so can you.”

You scoff and cut him a glance. “Sam, that man looked ready to spike my drink the first chance he got.”

“Okay, maybe not with him, but you can loosen up a little bit. You’re over here looking ready to slit a throat.”

Grinning, you shake your head. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m having fun. In fact, this is my leave because I was in the middle of telling a story to some criminals.”

Laughter bubbles out of your mouth, “Don’t get too friendly.” Sam nudges your arm with his elbow and steps away. You see him join a group and you can’t hear what he says to them but you do hear some of their laughter over the music.

Rolling your neck to loosen some of the tension, you turn to the bar again. Screw it. One more won’t hurt. You catch the bartender’s eye from where he stands and point to your glass. He nods and starts to pour another one. Once your new drink is in hand you decide that while you may not need to have “fun” you don’t need to stand in the same spot the whole night.

You take your time moving through the crowd, careful to keep dancing people from bumping into your drink. The top Sharon lent you is a smooth ivory colored silk and the last thing you want to do is return it damp.

Finding the art displays, you move through the lit up cases. The music is still loud, but in the tucked away corner it’s not as deafening. A few other people lingered at paintings and artifacts but none paid you any mind. You pause at a painting you vaguely recognize but you don’t know enough about the art world to name the piece or the artist.

It’s a beautiful painting, the way the soft colors mesh together brings a small calm to you. You feel the presence of someone standing behind you, and with it brings the new swooping feeling in your chest, but before you can do anything a familiar voice speaks, “This one is worth $10 million.”

You give a low whistle and take a sip of your drink. You don’t think you’ve ever had that much money in your life. Looking over your shoulder, you find Bucky looking at the painting with his hands in his pockets. His shoulders are a little stiff and his jaw is tense. His brow is mildly puckered and though his eyes come back to look at the painting, they dart off as if still surveying the room. You imagine this is how you looked to Sam standing at the bar. Lips quirking you nod at him. “Modern day night life not doing it for you?”

Bucky only gives a soft grunt.

You continue, “What? Bucky Barnes didn’t get down back in his day? You said you liked 40's music, right? I could make the DJ switch it up for you.”

The looks he shoots you is exasperated and mildly annoyed. You can’t help but add. “Believe it or not but I can do a mean swing step. You wouldn’t be alone out there.”

“You’re being annoying.” Despite his words you catch the faint smile and mirth in his eyes.

“Ah, ah! I saw a smile!” When Bucky only continues to stare you give him a shrug. “I’m taking the brooding silence as confirmation.”

You start to move on to the next painting, expecting him to turn the other way but instead he moves with you. You didn’t want to dwell on it (a.k.a get your hopes up about it), but you noticed him doing that more and more. As you take in the old looking necklace in front of you, you catch sight of Zemo through the glass case. He’s now in the middle of the dance floor…dancing…

You laugh a little and give a shake your head. Bucky seems to follow your gaze and you hear another grunt from him.

“I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing him dance.”

“You know, if Zemo can have fun, so can you.” You use Sam’s earlier words to you. Hopefully that doesn’t make you a hypocrite.

Bucky is quiet and you don’t think too much about it, starting to get used to it. Moving on from the necklace, you take in another painting. This one is not your favorite, the harsh lines and odd colors bring a mildly confused frown to your face. Your head tilts as you continue to study the piece. Behind you, Bucky says, “I am having fun.”

Without looking at him you reply, “Are you?”

“Yes.” This finally pulls your attention and you turn to meet his eyes. “I think you’re fun.”

Bucky takes his hands out of his pockets and starts to fidget with the cuff links on his borrowed jacket. You can't quite tell if he's telling the truth, or just saying that to make sure you don't feel awkward. However, you know enough about Bucky to know that if he didn’t want to be talking to you he would’ve left, or he wouldn’t even have spoken to you in the first place so he must be telling the truth. At your silence, he drops his hands and clears his throat.

“Are you having fun?”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you think about it. Bucky’s face gives nothing away as he waits your answer. Part of you wants to open up your senses and let your powers read his emotions but you stop yourself. Instead you think about the past few days and the situation you’re in. When you practically forced yourself onto the airplane with Bucky and Sam, you figured it would only be for one mission, something to get the sudden need for danger and adventure out of your system.

You never imagined it would’ve brought you to breaking out a criminal from prison and then ending up at a former colleague’s illegal art dealership, and you couldn’t imagine where it’d lead you from here. And yet despite the ups and downs this adventure has brought to your little group…

“I suppose I am having fun,” you finally reply. You can’t stop from adding, “It’s been…fun learning more about you and Sam. We’ve all fought together before, but I never really took the time to get to know either of you. It’s been nice, all things considered.”

There’s quiet between the two of you. The song has shifted into a new melody, this one just as pounding as the last but it doesn’t seem as if either of you are paying attention to it. You give a soft laugh and down the rest of your champagne. “Sorry. That was more than you asked for.”

“Don’t apologize,” Bucky responds. He steps a bit closer. “I agree. I kept my circle to Steve and, against my will, Sam—“ he pauses when you give a quick laugh “—Even during the whole Accords stuff, I didn’t really interact with the team and then I went off to Wakanda. It’s nice to have another person to talk to.”

Movement behind Bucky catches your attention and your eyes are pulled from his soft expression. Behind him, Sam approaches looking around at all the art pieces. “Figure I’d check in on the dark and brooding duo.”

“You just checked on me,” you shot back.

“Well, I’m checking on you again. I lost sight of Sharon.”

“She’ll find us when she’s ready,” Bucky replied. He heaved a sigh and shoved his hands back into his pockets.

You nod your agreement but before you can say anything Zemo’s voice carries through the room as he steps up next to you. “Well, I will admit this has been quite entertaining but I’m ready to get a move on.”

“We were just talking about that.” Sam turned to the necklace you’d been looking at earlier. “As nice as all this art stuff is I’m getting antsy.”

Everyone falls into silence and through your senses you can feel that everyone agrees. You think about telling everyone to split up and find Sharon to ask if she’s found anything but soon she steps around a display case.

“Hey, guys, I got something. Let’s go.”

Zemo steps around you and him and Sam follow after her immediately. Setting your glass down on a nearby table you turn and find Bucky waiting for you. “Ready for this?”

Giving a sure nod you move past him and after a moment you can sense him take up the rear.

[ninjakitten1699]

More Oni headcanons that I wanted to add on

to @ambrosial-tea post but I forgot until now!

There are different tribes of Oni as stated in the last post. Aka Oni (Red), Ao Oni (Blue), Shiro Oni (Pale/White), and our Kuro Oni (Black/Dark).

We don’t know too much of the Dark Oni we got but we do know that Oni were originally intended to be guardians between Material Plane and Spirit World when the two began overlapping (possibly The Grasslands/Departed, and Cursed Realm before they began separating). Put a tribe of Oni on the Material Plane for a couple years and they’d splinter into subraces of Oni and become more corrupted by the years. Dark Oni became one of the tribes corrupted.

Aka Oni are the most common type of Oni with their dark red colors, large size, and toughness. They’re slightly bigger than the rest of their kin, more violent, unfocused, and pursue immediate satisfaction, disregarding long drawn out plots and schemes. They’re mostly known for strength too.

Ao Oni are known for their unnatural cunning and aptitude for magic, smaller than their red kin but larger than pale, and have different shades of dark blue. They’re the ones you’d catch calculating and meticulously pursuing lofty goals like power and knowledge.

Shiro Oni are known for their aloofness and connections to the spirit realm. They’re the smallest of the main three tribes and the fewest of members. They vary from pale white to light gray. (They may as well adopt other Oni who share their colors and hopefully teach them their ideals.) Pale Oni would rather keep things in balance between the material plane and spirit world as the ancient Oni intended. They guard their locations but will adventure for artifacts of the spirit world and mend balance. If we take that into account perhaps they are another reason why Realm travel is difficult to Oni who try to cross through the any of the realms involving afterlives.

While Oni have no concept of gender since they have both reproductive organs, they also have no concept of sexualities either. Honestly they just didn’t have a name for it when one didn’t feel the need to have sex or when another felt more attracted to the same sex aspects of their partner. (If anything, their type of relationships or way of thinking would be looked up upon because they felt closer to their spirituality and their true selves.) Again they sometimes don’t mate for reproduction but just for the vibes of their partner.

They probably didn’t have a name for having multiple partners at the time either. If one Oni wanted to be a part of what the other two had and they were content with the feel of them, then it was okay. Plus more hands to help raise the cub personally. (Essentially that’s what PolyGarm would basically be. They make Garm happy, they’re happy with him, and Lloyd would basically have more than two parents. At this point Lloyd would just have more dads and Koko is just the one good mom he deserves.)

The second Oni learn what kisses are and how they work, they find it just as addictive as they do with other acts of affection.

Oni are more closer to their family than they are to strangers because in most Oni’s belief, strangers brought suffering to the family. In turn they displayed their family’s name first before their own, showing pride in them and hoping to intimidate any strangers with ill intent towards them.

Speaking of Oni names, they don’t usually have any but when they do their names would be what positive traits the parents wish the child to take on. For example, a son could have “Akihiko”. “Aki” meaning “bright” and “hiko” meaning “boy/prince”. They could want him to be someone brighter than they ever hoped for. For a daughter, “Asuna” with “asu” meaning “tomorrow” and “na” to “greens” or “apple tree”. Maybe the parents are hoping the Oni daughter would lead them to a more plentiful day. And then there’s the family names. The most famous ones are “Hideyoshi” and “Ishikawa”. We’ve heard of these names and the history behind them, I wouldn’t want to come across any of their descendants that carry their name with honor.

Ironically “Harumi” is actually a name for a female Oni in some home brewing lore. One of her meanings is “govern/rule” and “beauty”. Goes to show how far she would take her name literally.

Shiro Oni/Pale Oni don’t have names, but it’s because they don’t want to be too close to the material plane while they guard the spirit realms. They would refer to themselves and each other as “that/this one” instead like how gargoyles in the old days would. If they come up with names, it’s for the sake of working with others on the material plane, but even then it only happens when they really trust the people around them.

Oni have a large appetite that could put the Pythor and the Anacondrai to shame. They could honestly compete against the Great Devourer and other wyrms.

An Oni’s pair of horns are a sign of honor. No pair of horns are alike, not even the closest siblings’ horns look the same. They all have their differences. Their horn length is their pride. Having them sawed off is quite literally shameful to the owner of them but they did do something to deserve it.

It’s possible that some Oni were confused at Garm’s horns not being there at first but they hear about the first time they grew out of his head he quite literally broke them off and bled for a good long while to the point of passing out. (Blood vessels actually go throughout the antlers/horns in animals which is why they aren’t busted right off easily. Why wouldn’t they to Oni horns?) Come to find out it was the FSM’s hate for Oni that made Garm hate himself and how he looked so Garm had them filed down to his scalp or small enough to hide in his hair. It honestly almost hurts the Oni’s look on the FSM even more but hey who hasn’t he hurt? It takes a couple more decades and some therapy before he finally let’s go of his internalized self hatred and trauma that he grows out his horns and finally has pride in himself like most Oni already do.

So it’s not uncommon for Oni to live among other races, whether secretly or not, due to their shapeshifting abilities, however sometimes they’re immediately shunned when their true form slips out. Unless they proved otherwise to the most accepting of inhabitants, they’re allowed to stay. By then they’d have a hybrid appearance with their horns out, either out of their kindness to ease the others’ fear of them or for their own personal benefit.

Oni that do live on their own choose to live in the wilderness or in the mountains. If living in society but still wanting some sort of solitude, they’d either be closer to the outskirts or deep in the downtown where you’d either have to ask directions to specific people to find them or already know where they are. Hence Mistaké with her small tea shop and Wu being able find her.

As stated before Oni have no problems with Half-Oni at all. They’re just welcoming another cub into the pack and it’s just the fact that they are a child of an Oni who fell in love with another humanoid. Although there are some cases of Oni being chased out by the other race with their cub in their arms and they just run until they find the closest tribe. They’d be welcomed into the tribe and the cub is basically adopted by them.

Again half Oni isn’t a problem to them, but they do have a problem with any particular wizards experimenting on Oni breeding with any other humanoids. The know it’s not the parents’ fault neither is the cub’s. If neither parent want nothing to do with them, then the half Oni cub is taken off of their hands by another Oni who was grieving at a loss of a cub (or the realization they couldn’t have any) or a pairing who wouldn’t mind another. The cub won’t have a terrible environment, the parents won’t have to unwillingly interact with the child until they resolve their own issues or they wish to visit and see them grow.

Meanwhile, those wizards will never know peace again until the day they die, even other tribes, who they could be at war with, will catch wind of what happen and help in taking them out. By the time those wizards die, even the Pale Oni who have no ties with Omega or any other tribes won’t be forgiving to them. They won’t do anything too harmful to them, but they will lead them to the terrible part of the Cursed Realm and those wizards proceed to stay there until they fade out of existence entirely.

Enough angst there and let’s go back to fluff. I bet Oni would love dice. Like not even for games but for the click-clack sound. (“Lloyd. They’re metal dice. You cannot have—.” “Shiny sparkly metal bits make pretty sounds! :D” “Garmadon please tell your son not— Not you too!” “Wha~ It does sound pretty.”)

Y’all know how like adult lions play with their babies? They pretend to be hurt and that the cub is super strong to help build up their confidence. Hear me out, Oni do that too. Big goddamn Omega really be taking hits from tiny little cubs, Mistaké be playing with little Garmadon and playing dead on him, then Garm just does the same thing for little Lloyd. (“Koko, sweetie, help. It’s the battle of the century in here. Help, save me. He’s too powerful!” “*tiny war cry*”)

Someone makes a baby Oni cry one time and boy it’s absolutely over. It’s on sight for that person. I’m telling you On Sight!

Oni can purr loud enough to the point where it rumbles in them like a motor and that’s how cubs feel their parents’ purring. Then there’s baby Oni just babbling and the adult Oni just pretend to have a whole conversation with them. Don’t get me started on them playing soft flute music to help the toddler Oni sleep.

We probably only got a few words out of Omega when they first appeared because we were hearing them through human ears. Lloyd’s Oni brain would click on and translates what he knows while Garm in full Oni form can get full sentences out of Omega.

Oni are willing to learn a different language if it helps others understand them and their intentions. Now let’s just think of Lloyd connecting to his Oni side of the family (since let’s face it, the Oni are going to be around longer than most of his friends are) through teaching them sign language.

They also try to teach him their Oni tongue but he can only grasp a few words at a time easily. When he finally learns the language, next thing you know he’s going to be cursing and only Oni will understand. Some (aka Mistaké) want to scold him and others (*cough*Garmadon*cough*) find it hilarious.

Garmadon’s Oni-Dragon hybrid brain wants him to decorate his significant others and now I think of Oni just sharing the precious items they hoard with their mate. Wait till they figure out they can make jewelry and have their significant other wear it.

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Are you two friends yet? Cloud Strife x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Cloud Strife x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some cussing, mentions of death, itsy bitsy angst.

Type: One shot

Request: N/A

Word Count: 2,327

Prompt: The reader meets Cloud at Tifa's bar, tells him her story and it doesn't take long for Cloud to consider her a friend. Basically Reader and Cloud meet for the first time. Eeeep

Notes: HA bet you didn't expect this from me. But I've been getting into FF and there's not enough writing on them but since I'm still fairly new to this I just be testing the waters. I was so impatient to release this tho lol. Honestly I was thinking about making this longer, or at least making a part two and three because I really do like where this story is going and it def holds potential imo, but I mostly did this for shits and giggles because I'm also Clouds babie. Kiss kiss.

Growing up, you knew this was the life almost everyone had to endure, there was really no option of a warfree life, but sometimes that took a toll on you. You were exhausted, truly, but you kept that to yourself, you were sure many people were exhausted and that your feelings couldn't be validated. A few years back your father became a mercenary, abandoning you and your mother, it wasn't long after that your mother died protecting you, it was devastating, traumatic to say the least. You ached at the memory, nothing soothed it, your heart kept bleeding. There really was no comfort at the time, you were inconsolable. Still there was a lot of emotions brewing inside of you, mostly resentment, hatred, but overall fear. You would never admit it, you rather die. You were fearful of everything around you, but continued to train yourself to react violently at whatever made you afraid.

It didn't take long after your mothers death that you decided to take up his mantle of being a protector. It wasn't easy, it was far from that. There had been many times you were entangled in bruises, cuts and gauze, you got your fair share of both kicking and getting your ass kicked. However, you swore you'd fight back with your very life and you have. Your father never really taught you anything other than the basics in training, how to defend yourself, how to get out of sticky situations, how to react quickly. You weren't very familiar with weapons or how to wield them, correctly at least, but you adapted well to environments, using whatever was nearby to come out alive.

You'd been in more brawls than you could count, heaving as you zig zagged your way through alleyways and swinging whatever was nearby towards any attacker that was a hair away from you. Sometimes even doing the most basic errands became taxing, one of your favorite weapons became two small blades, about your forearms length, taken from one of your attackers from a previous battle. It was strenuous to handle them if you were being honest, you didn't know anything about these things, only from what you've seen with your opponents. There were plenty of moments where you've sliced your hands, arms, even thighs, which those hurt the most if you were being sincere. Of course there was much to grasp when it came to fighting.

here was no other way to learn than the hard way but you didn't want to be the defender anymore, you wanted to rest, you wanted to be the one behind the shield again, you wanted to take a break. You'd lock yourself in the bathroom, weep silently at the frustration all while taking a shower, getting dressed and ready for the day, never showing an ounce of hesitation before anyone. You didn't want anyone to be aware that you were afraid, you didn't want to admit it and you didn't want to be the protector anymore.

The closest release you've had were the times you'd massacre your attackers, all pretending they were the ones who had your mothers blood on their hands. This was your only outlet, this and training, you put your all into it. Every punch, kick, shove, swing, each of it was running on the hatred you felt, the hurt you carried. Still, nothing seemed to soothe.

Tifa was a close friend of yours, afterall you both could've used a friend like each other. You frequented her bar a lot, whether it was to get completely shitfaced because of the stress or just to unwind some, but always to see how Tifa was holding up. It was raining some, the streets were damp and you shoved yourself through the doors going straight to the elongated table but before you could make it any further you noticed a new face in the crowd. It wasn't uncommon for Tifa to serve travelers, but this was different.

She was visibly entertained with this unfamiliar face, he was slim toned, dressed in dark tones from head to toe, a threatening sword clasped onto his back, thick combat boots worthy of bloodshed evidence. You stared at him for a second, then looked at Tifa, it was then she caught your shape in the corner of her eye, as if her face couldn't light up any more, it certainly did. "Y/N!" She exclaimed, motioning you to come closer, but your hesitancy was persistent. After a few seconds you dragged yourself towards both of them. You stiffened as you sat next to the stranger, Tifa's eyes shifted back to you then the guy next to you, she knew you weren't very social, but he must be very important to her if she insisted you stop by. "Y/N, this is Cloud Strife. He's been a friend of mine since childhood, it's been a while since he came around." Her eyes then lingered towards him for a brief second. You gazed at him for a split second, your cheeks reddened delicately. "Cloud, this is Y/N. We met at the slums, she saved my ass back there." Tifa grinned with her arms crossed pressed against the table, her eyes moving back and forth between you and Cloud? was it. A frown fell upon your face, shaking your head in denial "What? No, if it wasn't for Tifa I'd be dinner." You laughed weakly, visibly nervous at the lack of interest coming from Tifa's childhood friend.

"Here, I'll get you guys a drink." The voided haired woman broke in silence, turning her back to the pair of you. As she busied herself, you swallowed dryly, unsure of how to react. He only sat there, almost as if he was lost in thought, battling in his own head, you were all too familiar with the feeling. You empathized with him though, trying not to judge him for his lack of social skills, after all, you were mimicking his energy, without meaning to. You pursed your lips and kept your eyes on the glass table waiting for Tifa to return, to your luck she was tending to others.

You've been in more awkward situations, you thought. It almost became hard to breathe, though the traffic was flowing relatively as usual, it still felt like you were in the spotlight. You wagered your options and among them all, you decided maybe excusing yourself to the bathroom was your best option. Your eyes glazing over to Tifa and just as you parted your lips to speak, Cloud spoke.

"How long have you known her?"

It caught you somewhat off guard, your head then swayed back to him, who was still in the same motionless position as prior. "Oh, um, about two years, going on three this spring." You nodded, pushing your hair back behind your ear as an indication of nervousness. Of course he didn't have to know that. "What are you visiting for?" You turned to him, still afraid to look him in the eyes, you weren't very good at handling rejection, any kind of rejection and to avoid handling it, you decided to go to the source, by avoiding interacting with anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.

He turned his head towards the direction of your hands, his eyes lingered for a moment, the same pout still expressed across his face. "Just wandering." Was his only explanation, which was good enough for you, prying was never something you did and you wouldn't start today. Tifas warm smile welcomed you again. "Here Y/N, your favorite." She beamed before you, pushing a glass of Y/F/D towards you and a glass towards Cloud. "This is Y/N's favorite drink, I thought you'd try something new today Cloud." She giggled, you turned your head over to the stiff guy, his pale cheeks coming alive with some pink. Initially you didn't get a good look at him, not until now, maybe it was Tifa that gave you the confidence. His eyes were bold, blue, vividly contrasting his face and his entire outfit, freckles splayed across his face, more noticeable with the newformed pink stains.

"I like it." He admitted after a sip, he seemed to take his time drinking, with no rush to go anywhere, you became more curious about this new person. Tifa grinned at his response, you continued to drink from your glass, falling back into your shell. Licking your lips as you looked down to the liquid, there was no way to make you more interesting, so you thought. Instead you let Tifa take the lead, but she was at work and it didn't take long for her to be busy again. "I'll be right back." She excused herself again, she didn't need to explain, she was at work after all. You turned your gaze to Cloud again, a little boozed up gave you a bit more confidence. "So, what do you do Cloud?" You choked out, it was almost painful to try to bring a conversation alive when the other person was just as perplexing

He sat there motionless once more, almost as if he didn't hear you, at this point you weren't really sure. "I was a soldier.. Now I just find, jobs to fulfill." He admitted, which explained his attire, not that you really questioned it, but it made more sense. You sat there semi-stunned, unsure if you wanted to continue further or not. "I see." You replied, looking back to your beverage. Your back relaxed a bit, signaling defeat, which in a way was. When your shoulders relaxed and you turned elsewhere, it seemed like Cloud snapped back to reality. "What about you? What's your story?" He asked, his tone was somewhat off, but it still gravitated you back to him. A small frown came across your face, was your mothers death really your story? Come to think of it, you felt like you didn't really have a story. "I don't think it's very different from others around here.." You ached as you spoke. Cloud noted this immediately, though he showed an indifference, it was far from it. He was listening to you.

"No one's story is the same." He disputed, it seemed like the logical response, which it was, but there was a glimmer of being taken into account by someone other than Tifa, which made you feel a bit odd. After a pause, you quickly gathered he was still waiting for a response, which made your blood rush to your cheeks once more. You swallowed again, a slight tingle overcame you, it was just nerves. "My father left my mom and me when I was ten?" Your eyebrows knit together as you tried to remember, some of the memories became blurry as the time continued. "My mother said he was going to become a mercenary, so either he got killed or really liked the job." You slowly shrugged at the discomfort of the idea. "It doesn't matter what was of him anyway. A few months later, we were attacked, my mother did everything she could to protect me, I was under the bed when this all happened. She stuffed me under there, but after she left the room, I climbed out through the window. If I had stayed under there, I would've been dead too, but maybe that wouldn't have been so bad." You continued to ramble, Cloud could tell how this affected you, he was all too familiar with the feeling of guilt, he knew what that face meant.

Hurriedly you took a sip from your drink again, all the way to the last drop. Cloud just stayed looking at you, not knowing how to respond or comfort you, there was a slight panic going on in his head, but you were too caught up in the memory. "I'm sorry." You smiled strangely as you set the glass down, trying to regulate your breathing.

Cloud hesitated, but he placed a hand over the back of your wrist as it laid against the table. Your jagged breathing came to a halt, just as he radiated calmness. When you eased, Cloud did as well. He wasn't very good with words, it didn't take long to notice that, but that little gesture seemed to alleviate more than any speech would. "Your mother didn't die in vain Y/N." You never imagined it like that, your eyes turned to Cloud, blurry and tainted pink around Y/E/C colored rings. There was a gentleness in his frown, his hand hadn't left your wrist, it may have been a small gesture, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't stinging for another persons touch. "Thank you Cloud." Was all you could muster out of your throat, you fiddled with your glass with your free hand, looking away from his face and back to the empty cup. This was his sign to remove his hand, which he did, promptly to your dismay. You were kind of hoping he'd stay like that for a while, but you two had just met, you were just desperate to be comforted and this wasn't fair to throw it on him.

You blinked away the evidence of your ache, swiping your tongue across your bottom lip and looked up when Tifa approached you both. "Are you guys friends yet?" She asked hopefully as her gaze shifted between both of you, her eyes lingered to you when she noticed your rosy cheeks and nose, knowing this was an indication of your sadness. It was hard to keep these things from Tifa, she was very good at picking up the smallest gestures, especially of those close to her and she proudly considered you as close.

Before you could say anything, to both you and Tifa's surprise Cloud broke the silence "I'd say so." A soft smile came upon your face as Tifa's eyebrows arched slightly in surprise. You surely hoped to become his friend.

[nightswithkookmin]

hi goldy!! ❤️❤️ do you think during some break up periods jikook tried to be with other people?

This question...

Lol. I mean... if you count Jimin's Paris girls and JK's tattoo girl as other people lol. I don't.

Unless you mean other people within BTS? In which case, don't mind if I silently judge you. Lol.

I don't like speculating on persons outside of BTS because it's their private life and they didn't sign up for this. Plus it can be very invasive and my conscience just won't let me...

But I don't think Jimin moves on that easily or quickly from a breakup to be honest. He values human relationships and connections with other people and has a very high emotional intelligence quotient to resort to 'using' others to fix his emotional problems.

He cares about others' feelings and how his actions impact them emotionally- I mean did you see him turn to Kook to ask if Kook was ok with him saying he liked him on camera during one of their logs in the early days?

He is awfully self aware in the way that he conducts himself around people. It's why I smirk when people say he 'harasses' JK often and that JK doesn't like him being all over him. Believe me, Jimin doesn't do anything JK whipped ass don't enjoy. And when he seem like he is pushing JK's boundaries a tad bit much or smothering JK, it's usually him teasing JK and JK knows it. They both have a way of using things that make eachother uncomfortable to tease eachother and I don't think they both mind- I think people need to stop acting like Jikook abuse eachother when they tease eachother.

They abuse eachother alright- in bedroom huh! Lol. Sorry. Couldn't help it. Lmho.

The best example I can give you of this is these two recent Run episodes. If you pay attention to the sequence of events and the progression of Jikook's interactions, you would notice how JM was trying a little bit harder to interact with JK in the beginning of the episode and JK kept pulling away to enforce his boundaries?

But when JM noticed JK wasn't open to recieve and reciprocate those advances he was making he sort of backed away immediately. As such, towards the end of episode 116 and throughout 117 you could see JM respecting those boundaries JK was putting up with him. As such, he would reserve himself and would move past JK and offer his hug to the other members instead- out of respect for Kook, not spite. Mind you.

I think he is more likely to try and fix his relationship with Kook than to rebound with other people or try to be with other people knowing full well he still has feelings for Kook. Listen, Jimin is not letting go of his feelings for Kook anytime soon. He is too deep in it. I mean this is the person who's said when he falls in love he wants it to be forever. He is not letting JK go anytime soon.

This is the person who keeps reiterating how he wants to be with BTS as a group forever. He values connections and is sentimental about them. He is sentimental about JK and he values his connection with JK.

Besides, JM has friends and emotionally fulfilling relationships outside of his relationship with Kook that he consciously waters and nurtures. So often when he goes through a Kook withdrawal there are people there to offer him that emotional support. In my opinion. Lol.

I can't say same for Kook. He is naturally emotionally closed off and it takes time for him to let people in but once he does he tends to keep those connections forever too. I think. I mean, he is an introvert and people like that prefer keeping a close knit circle of friends made of one or two people they are intimately or closely attached to rather than maintaining a wider circle of friends.

You don't need me to tell you that Jimin is his circle within the circle. Lol.

It seems also that he doesn't consciously go out of his way to nurture connections with people outside of his close circles the way JM does. Especially if you hear the members talk about how he takes an entire year to return text messages, how he doesn't even see the importance of going out of his way to wish his bandmates a happy birthday on social when everyone else is doing it, how he doesn't bother to gift others presents on their birthday except for the one person within the group he is emotionally attached to.

How he's had a falling out with Tae over the years but didn't even bother to make a conscious effort to fix things with him leaving Tae with no choice but to passive aggressively shade him for it throughout the years- complaining about getting used to JK ignoring him behind cameras and what not.

Jk is very selective about who and which relationship he goes out of his way to nurture and give his energy to unlike JM. I think it's partly due to the differences in their personality as an introvert and extrovert but also due to the differences in their upbringing and the environment they each grew up in but let's not get into that today. Lol.

Very often when JK is going through a JM withdrawal it hits him the hardest I think. Unlike JM, I don't think he has other emotional support systems in place to fall on? 2018 was it? Remember when he was going through a hard time in that period and he shut out the members but would jump on Social to interact with Army? Why do that if there were people in his life to offer that level of emotional support and fulfillment for him?

Tae is like that too. Remember how he said to JK during their Soop conversation that he was posting much more frequently on Weverse because he wasn't feeling loved and wanted reassurance? Why do that if he had that level of emotional support in his life?

He brought that up because on some level he knew JK could relate among other things. In my opinion.

I mean did you hear Blue and Grey? Yet people swear up and down he is in a relationship with a boy in BTS- must be a very emotionally unfulfilling relationship that doesn't meet his need for reassurance and validation in a romantic relationship. Smirk.

I think JK starts seeking out other connections and tries to nurture them so they provide the emotional connection he needs in periods when he is going through a such hard times without Jimin-but the moment he gets good with JM he's gonna forget those connections ever existed lol.

I think that's what had happened with Tae in On era and the tattoo girl as well... Were they dating? I know they weren't. I know JK wasn't having sex with her simply because she would have screwed him over far worse than she did in the aftermath of the scandal. Lmho.

I mean home girl tried on the whole gender ambiguity look for a hot minute there when she was hanging out with JK but ditched that look real fast the moment she realized JK was never gonna pick her- these pick me gals I swear!

She went from expressing herself as overtly tomboyish to a much rather toned down stereotypically feminine gal in a flash in the aftermath of the scandal? Chileee I'm gonna get in trouble. Lol.

The hair cut, the baggy clothes, the boyish appearance- probably knew JK was attracted to genderly ambiguous people. Cough, cough Jimin and so tried to appear more genderly ambiguous within that period to fit in as a one of the guys? Know what I mean? It's just my opinion and I feel bad for voicing it out loud this way.

She could have been experimenting with her looks and identity and all that jazz- she has every right to present herself whatever way she wants honestly and gender is not defined by the clothes you wear and frankly it's none of my business. Chilee.

It's just crazy to me how she kept saying she didn't want to cause trouble with Army blah blah blah which is why she had chosen to stay quiet about the scandal when it first started but then later she changed her tone and started liking posts and comments that said she and JK were a thing. Smirk.

I mean for someone who had said she didn't want to harm the reputation of JK in the beginning of the scandal and didn't want trouble with Army and so had chosen to stay out of the issue, she sure suddenly had started fanning the flames of the scandal later on and her shop would eventually post a statement about the scandal- on JM's birthday. Coincidence? I think the fuck not.

If you ask me, I think her and the shop knew exactly what they were doing with that one. They both wanted to hurt JK if you ask me. They are Koreans and they know just how much scandals hurt the business and reputations of idols. So for them to keep at it even when that scandal had died down...

And I know some people believe someone from her shop had leaked the photos etc- this is where I insert my BigHit conspiracy theory- BigHit don dunnit! Lol. That scandal came at a time too convenient for a company scared people were going to find out two of its talents were dating. Y'all know my theory on that so I'll just rest it.

This is the same campany that calls paparazzi on its talents and arranges for tabliods to meet and take photos of the boys and write articles about them as and when it so pleases them. I'm not just talking about Dispatch- if you know you know.

I think they have their own people following these boys around just to keep an eye on them to avoid heavy scandals. They definitely knew what JK and JM were up to during their vacation and when they realised there was a much bigger scandal on the way they conducted this tattoo girl and Paris girls scandal to mitigate that.

Listen, BigHit has been through a much severe scandal with their earlier band before BTS. That scandal literally crippled the company- allegedly, had it not been for BTS and so when I tell you they do not joke with scandals involving their artists. You bet your ass they have their eyes on the boys. All the time. They ain't about to let another major scandal cripple their empire.

I mean, even in the recent BE conference they held, they had to film the Q&A session offline- probably didn't want a repeat of the media embarrassing BTS like they did with the plagiarism scandal. Jk's cheeky smirk. Lmho.

Would explain why both the shop and the girl in question also felt used by the company and JK later on. The shop was expecting compensation from BigHit for using them in that way it seemed- read their statement you'll understand what I mean. And the girl perhaps also thought she was gonna get to be with JK as consolation price- yea, no. Sorry dear. JK don'troll like that.

It is why later they tried taking vengeance on both JK and the company with those moves they made. In my opinion. Lol.

From a legal perspective, BigHit had every right to sue the shop for breach of privacy on behalf of JK because the shop owed that duty to JK being their client. They had a duty to protect the privacy of their clients and so it's funny how the shop turned around claiming BigHit was the one that owed them compensation or whatever. Chileee. Messy, messy, messy.

I really don't want to get deep into that whole conversation and so kindly read between the lines... got it? Good. Lol.

Anywho, JK has a tendency to latch on to people when he is in an emotionally vulnerable state. In the group it is often Tae or Jin, Suga or Hobi in my opinion.

Honestly I prefer he does that than shut everyone out.

This tendencies of his is why I keep saying he has the most boundaries in BTS- emotional boundaries I mean. Jimin is a nurturer and to nurture people you have to be willing to be emotionally open, attached and vulnerable with others. Whereas JK is not a nurturer like that so naturally he is much emotionally closed off.

He simply latches on to people when he is going through a tough time or shuts himself up completely for self preservation. In my opinion.

What I am trying to say is, i don't think either of them have both been with other people during times they weren't together because usually they don't stay broken up for that long- long enough for either one of them to form any meaningful attachments outside of eachother.

I can't say same for sex though- shit only takes a few minutes. But judging from the way they behave when either one of them does skinship with even members they consider family, I don't think either one of them have had sex outside of eachother. That would devastate them and lead to much dire repercussions such as each of them developing trust issues and severe insecurities- they are insecure about eachother as it is and they haven't been seeing other people. Chilee.

If JK as much as have sex with another person even if they are broken up Jimin would literally die. I'd laugh but I don't think it's funny.

As for JK... sigh. Let's just say he is going to raise hell on us all if Jimin should do that. Forget the Corona Virus, forget the apocalypse- JK would bring the world to an untimely end. Deadass.

I hope this helps?

Keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY.

[phoenixtakaramono]

The Untold Tale - Ch4 Preview I

This was the second time they’d held hands. Fingers threaded together, palms touching. A significant amount of information could be communicated in the simple act of taking someone’s hand—the shape and texture of it, the roughness or softness of the life they’d led, and the strength or fragility of their grip. Luo Binghe would remember the feeling of that pale hand gripping his tightly for the rest of his life.

The mist billowed under Luo Binghe the moment he was allowed entry into the dream realm of the divine. Instantly, he was besieged with the feeling of falling into a frozen lake. The cold was a shock through his body, forcing his hand to convulsively clamp down.

Foolish, Luo Binghe berated himself. Instead of a composed and dignified air, he’d just shown his weak side.

To have been finally welcomed inside the dream realm of a celestial being meant this version of his shizun had thought highly of Luo Binghe and his constitution.

Shen Yuan halted midstride. Concern was written upon those white brows upon seeing his reaction.

Luo Binghe forced an amiable smile as he pretended to be oblivious, masking any sign of his discomfort. The sensation of pins-and-needles assailing him wasn’t something he couldn’t tolerate, but it was unpleasant. Except for their one point of contact, no part had been spared. His gaze lingered on the long scholarly fingers wrapped trustingly around his, before sweeping a glance over their new surroundings.

He felt like he’d stepped into a world composed of silk screens. Ahead, the fine mist passing through the painted scenery shrouded the outline of the tall mountain range and forest. Even the walls of the buildings were composed of firm brushstrokes and soft ink wash.

Droplets of water splashed quietly from their strides as Shen Yuan guided him in the direction of whatever he’d wanted Luo Binghe to see. Like black ink that had been dipped into clear water, the transparent surface was beginning to darken with every tread Luo Binghe took.

He stared down at his feet. The sight of the ink and water swirling into one another as though they were made to be together gave rise to the tide of emotions which had been circulating within his mind.

In the newly fallen darkness, he could sense his companion had fallen into another state of deep contemplation. As the two men shared a companionable silence, Luo Binghe took a long, measuring look at the landscape—at the secrets hiding within the fog, behind the translucent silks.

The atmosphere was incomparably resplendent and harmonious, yet it painted an undeniable fact about his companion who had been secreted away from him. More knowledge could be gained of how such a revered existence perceived the outside world.

“...You’ve always had an unruly habit to roam and draw unnecessary attention to yourself!” An insidious and vicious whisper brushed against Luo Binghe’s mind like a wisp of smoke. “To think you’d chase him here on impulse!”

Hearing the litany of grievances, Luo Binghe hid the blade that was his smile. Unlike himself, he had no doubt that his senior might have been exorcised had he not taken refuge in him. However convincingly the Meng Mo conveyed his displeasure, his voice was weakened.

Earlier, Luo Binghe had gambled that on this fateful evening that the celestial fortuneteller would have no choice but to attend to his growing fatigue. His guard would be lowered and that was when the opportunity would present itself.

The practice of invading and manipulating a person’s dreams was nothing new. With his secret tutelage cultivating on the demonic path, beginning from Luo Binghe’s past as a mere Cang Qiong Mountain sect disciple, he had learned to infiltrate many minds.

Several had been his lovers—the first being his shījiě, accidental as it had been pulling his martial sister along with him—although the treatment his women received was far more considerate than the cruel methods he inflicted upon all those who opposed him.

He had seen the duplicity of people’s hearts and reproduced illusions of varying natures. He’d learned how to lure others when they were at their most defenseless and be able to find their worst fears and memories to inflict the maximum psychological torment.

With his enemies who were impervious to physical torture, few could claim immunity upon being confronted with their own inner demons.

With his lovers, he could skim their memory fragments and indulge any spring dreams either of them had fantasized about.

Because unlike the waking world, the dream realm was honest.

It was a glimpse into one’s truest state. The capability to doubt was stripped away. Memories could be spied on. Falsehoods were exposed. And no secrets could be kept from him.

Meng Mo’s withered voice interrupted his thoughts.

“You should be more prudent in choosing your words around him. The ways of those of the Heavenly Realm are mysterious—but they are proud and have always held contempt for our kind. Don’t be muddled in the head just because you believe he can replace the late Qing Jing Peak Lord…. His looks aren’t bad but to eat the tofu of the one who bears the farseeing, discerning eyes of the heavens….” A mocking edge had crept into Meng Mo’s tone. “You are shameless. This elder doesn’t know whether to be impressed or scold you for holding that ambition.”

Although his lips had thinned into a white line, Luo Binghe remained silent.

Water shaped its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flowed. Tonight, many of his initial plans had been waylaid. Although he couldn’t have predicted its trajectory, he wasn’t discontent with the final outcome. He’d gained information that would be invaluable to him—and he’d finally found his shizun.

There had been a quiescent anticipation in the night as Luo Binghe waited like a spider spinning its web, searching and reaching for the only mind of this residence who was of interest to him, until he’d finally sensed the faintest reverberation of the otherworldly and ephemeral—a presence that could only belong to him.

And he’d pulled.

As someone who used to humbly occupy the Mortal Realm, never in his imagination did Luo Binghe expect he could claim success to the achievement of accessing the dream realm of an immortal celestial being.

The rush of triumph had been dampened once, upon seeking Shen Yuan, Luo Binghe encountered a Qi-condensed barrier—a mental defense meant to repel demonic influences. Impenetrable even against the combined efforts of himself and his senior who had centuries worth of infiltration experience, no matter how much he’d concentrated—redirecting the violent and rough flow of his Qi into something more finessed—he was unable to cross the boundary to meet the precious person inside. Breaching it would require a much greater display of force.

Luo Binghe had been stuck at an impasse. He’d realized, unless he wished to cause Shen Yuan psychological pain, the barrier had to stay.

In hindsight, his action had indeed been too rash.

Time was immeasurable in the world of dreams, but with every moment that had passed without Shen Yuan revealing himself, the fear mounted. Perhaps Shen Yuan had predicted such an incident would occur and had taken precaution. The opportunity would have slipped through Luo Binghe’s fingers like water.

It was inevitable that they would be going their separate ways in the coming morning. And the last deep impression he’d leave behind would cast Luo Binghe in an extremely bad light, with Shen Yuan withdrawing back into seclusion and harboring a grudge for being taken advantage of.

All would be lost. Faced with the possibility of being abandoned, Luo Binghe had been inconsolable. The tension in the air around him had been so thick, it presented a heavy atmosphere in his own dream realm.

The giant boulder which weighed down his heart vanished when, with the keen senses of a cultivator, his five senses had detected a ripple in the fog.

From faraway, he’d been spellbound. He’d seen a sight resembling that from legend, with the unattainable moon that was Shen Yuan descending down from the stars which glistened like shards in the night.

He had chosen to come to Luo Binghe out of his own volition.

Another realization had struck Luo Binghe. Seeing the regal figure out of his immaculate finery—dressed down to his inner clothing and with his moonlit hair undone, without a headpiece in sight—was a rare and intimate sight. Aside from the servants who tended to their peerless master, no one else must have been bestowed such a gift.

It’d been fascinating observing how someone of the Heavenly Realm would interact within his world. Shen Yuan had assimilated quickly. Wandering aimlessly in an unfamiliar environment, his appearance reminded Luo Binghe of the purest white snow, high above and unreachable, the likes of which could not be tainted. His manner had been aloof and vague; such bearing was similar to what Luo Binghe expected for someone of high status. The only difference was that his attitude toward Luo Binghe had not been indifferent or uncaring. Courtesy had been given, even knowing who he was.

“...Xiōng dì.” A deep and steady voice trickled into Luo Binghe’s awareness, pulling him from his deep reflection.

An invigorating energy suddenly blanketed him. All discomfort fled, replaced with the refreshing coldness of a spring brook. Shen Yuan had fallen a step back so that they were now shoulder to shoulder.

Shen Yuan’s gaze was appraising as his breaths feathered the fur. “I had not expected you being here would be strenuous on you. Please take care of your body.” A hand went up to clasp him on the shoulder. “I think, for now, it’s better to stay close to me until you can stand on your own. You’ll be safer by my side.”

Luo Binghe inhaled sharply.

“Hoh. How considerate!” Dryness filtered into his thoughts. “Such goodwill. He must really have a good heart.”

Stay out of this, Luo Binghe rebuked. Scram!

He ducked his head. The hidden meaning of Shen Yuan’s words had not been lost on him. He simply hadn’t expected how protective Shen Yuan was of him.

In this lifetime, Luo Binghe would like to think he could recognize his shizun even if he turned into ashes—or took on a different appearance. Even the slow-witted were able to see that Shen Yuan was of different temperament, reminding Luo Binghe of the other “Shen Qingqiu” of the mirror world. This fortuneteller had a sincere and utterly honest personality.

This night was the first time they’d met, but it was undeniable that there was a flow to their conversations—as though they were not strangers but instead dear friends reuniting. It was like someone had peered into his heart and crafted him a person according to his desires. Being with Shen Yuan felt like the most natural thing in the world.

There was no such thing as a string of coincidences. Since they have finally encountered, it must have meant they were fated. Since fated, one must live up to the fate that the Heavens bestowed.

When his host had yet to retrieve his infatuated eyes, Meng Mo’s tone changed into that of a fussy steward coaxing his headstrong young lord. “Have you not wondered what he’s after? What his true intentions are? This fortuneteller’s character and actions have been truly mysterious. He seems to be an intelligent person. For him to offer his assistance to change your fate, he must have plans for you. We must figure out what they are.”

What do you know? Luo Binghe’s remark had been as cutting and swift as a blade. Don’t exaggerate. You know nothing.

“...You’ve finally gone insane.” A heavy sigh was heaved. “Don’t be so quick to dismiss my words as superfluous. His kind has no qualms destroying us both if your existence is implicated as a calamity-sized threat. ...But knowing your wicked temperament, listen to me very carefully: you’d best prepare to make sure his cooperation doesn’t deviate. If he is speaking the truth, you already have one meddling benefactor in your life.”

One hand curled into a fist at his side. Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī…. It took everything in Luo Binghe’s willpower to keep his expression from becoming unsightly.

It was a detestable name he vowed to never forget. While he was grateful to know now the one responsible behind his every misfortune, the mere suggestion of such an existence stoked the flames of resentment.

To a higher being who crafted this world, the realms were a pond. And Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī had caused too many ripples. To have planned everything in Luo Binghe’s life, that wily schemer must feel quite pleased with himself. He’d treated his creations—he’d treated Luo Binghe, his supposed “original masterpiece”—as helpless pawns of his mind games, not putting the sufferings of others in mind.

And why wouldn’t he? Such conceit was ordinary among those who occupied the realm of gods, immortals, and fairies.

Had Luo Binghe been raised under different circumstances, had his benefactor been more caring and had not made his life all the more difficult, had he not had to suffer the countless humiliations and injustices, his soft heart of the past would have felt moved to discover he had the backing of such a great and magnanimous patron behind him. He might have even expressed gratitude to such a “creator” for teaching him the lessons that could only be learnt through adversity!

Luo Binghe hid the spiteful sneer in his heart. If there was an altar dedicated to Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī, Luo Binghe most certainly would find a way to desecrate it. He felt no filial piety for such a callous being.

What reasonable person would appreciate their life being treated as a stage play? Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī’s favor was a terrible burden. He had placed Luo Binghe on a path of greatness that led to a cliff to his death.

Hearing his vicious thoughts, Meng Mo murmured, “Even so...the will of the heavens has always been enigmatic and impossible to predict. For two heavenly beings who wish to stake their claim on you...an immense honor has been bestowed. Be careful of how you act with this one; he must be testing you.”

Allowing the weight of his words to sink in, Luo Binghe gazed at Shen Yuan. Even though he had tacitly implied a falling out, there were signs of obvious estrangement between himself and Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī.

Himself being here must have presented Shen Yuan an irresistible impulse to take initiative. Had he not intervened, Luo Binghe would have blindly followed Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī’s design for him like a clay doll.

A thought suddenly occurred to him. Wouldn’t Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī be angered if his clay doll spurned him and had instead sought another benefactor? It was an alluring prospect. The advantages of having someone like Shen Yuan on his side far exceeded anything else. He was hidden like a song heard by the river. And he knew the way of all the heroes of the world.

...What does Senior think? Shizun has foretold this lord’s fated one to be an indispensable source of wisdom. Naturally, my future prospects are limitless if this astute person becomes tied to me. You’ve said the heavens were unforgiving against those of demonic blood, so would this not grant the greatest protection if they witness how this lord cherishes and protects one of their own? If such a revered existence becomes known as this lord’s closest person? Great heroes and wise scholars live freely without guile or contrivance.

A moment of silence passed.

Eventually, disbelieving laughter ghosted along Luo Binghe’s mind, as faint as autumn leaves rustling in the wind. “This elder has done well to have chosen you as my successor. You have a one-track mind that cannot even be reined in by eight horses!”

Luo Binghe hid the cold smile in his heart. He had not outright stated it, but he knew Meng Mo could read between the lines.

Since he had two benefactors wishing to stake their claim on him, then it was only fair if he staked his own claim over one of them. But to do that, he had to reach the pinnacle. Only then would he be in a position where he could not be crossed, and his image would be elevated in the eyes of others.

Resources must be consolidated. The more meritorious his achievements were, the more he could make a name for himself and demonstrate his capability as a leader. He had to expand his prestige and quickly spread his power; connections were needed.

He refused to die a dog’s death like how Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī had planned for him after his use had been expended.

Like how it had been when he’d been weak and defenseless, it was either Luo Binghe moved forward—or he’d die. With a handsome and refined match by his side guiding him, the Three Realms would be his.

“Have patience,” Meng Mo chastised. “You’ve only just met him. From now onwards, until you have determined which benefactor provides you the better benefits, it is better not to provoke either.”

There was a grain of truth to his advice. There were no good prospects if a dulled knife became sharpened. Likewise, as soon as one underestimated their prey, they were done for.

Luo Binghe couldn’t help recalling his past little by little. The Cang Qiong Mountain sect had opened its doors only once every few years to recruit new disciples. It didn’t feel too long ago when he’d been handpicked from the selection of people hoping to have the potential to develop a golden core. In his youthful ignorance, bearing a poor orphan’s hope to live a better life, Luo Binghe had not known the path to enlightenment would be treacherous. Many of his martial siblings, his masters, and his own shizun had exposed themselves to be snakes and scorpions.

They were as corrupt as the very evil they opposed, their injustices hidden behind the veneer of being virtuous and just.

The side of the righteous was filled with hypocrisy. To hold steadfast to the ethics of a disciplined cultivator was not enough. He had to be ruthless.

Just like then, there were all kinds of hidden talents and geniuses in the world. To be blessed by the grace of a celestial being—the very height of immortality—was unheard of. Preposterous, even. Yet he had managed to accomplish such a feat.

Had Meng Mo not claimed, because of Luo Binghe’s inheritance as a Heavenly Demon, that cultivating on the demonic path would allow him to grow by leaps and bounds? That he would stand above thousands? That the entirety of the Three Realms, of the heavens and the earth, would be swept away by his mere existence once the seal was lifted? He had a bright future, if he just reached out his hand and grasped those opportunities with an iron fist.

To have aspirations and goals was high and admirable.

A fine owl would perch on a fine tree; a good servant would serve a good master. As a worldly man, there was nothing wrong for him to pursue ambition. In this world, power was authority.

It had been preordained for him to climb into a position of power. Even Shen Yuan had said so himself, both in his reading and just moments prior. He would obtain it all in the end.

And even if it took him his entire lifetime, in one way or another Luo Binghe would ensure to repay his “gratitude” back to Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī for his consideration.

“Since you value loyalty and bonds...who knows, perhaps being chummy with this one might turn him into a loyal dog…. This senior looks forward to the day an emissary from the heavens comes to pay respects to the last bloodline of the Heavenly Demons.”

——————————

Notes: “Xiàng Tiān Dà Fēijī” is referring to Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. Since this sneak peek is from the first draft, some details will be subject to change when the final draft is published on AO3. Since this chapter is mostly Bing gē simping for SY, to balance out the loveydovey majority, Meng Mo is, as the Chinese saying goes, “kicking up/ raising a stink” (at least in the beginning of this chapter).

Link to ch 1-3 on AO3 can be found in my profile!

[yanderecandystore]

How would Jack react to an artistic s/o, like he carries a sketchbook with him at all times and once Jack saw that he had at least a full page of just Jack doodles and sketches

Yo, hello there! I'm sorry for taking so long to answer you, I was trying to find the right time to write! :3

Do y'all mind if I changed it up a little bit? Changing a little bit of "reader's role" in this headcanon, instead of always being the "one of his gang's members" and such. I decided to add a little more than one page of sketches though •v• because I'm an ass.

Also oh my God, I'm sorry for babbling so much at the start ;-;.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

A cool and peaceful breeze in the middle of all Hell [Yandere!Delinquent OC Male artist!Reader - Headcanon]:

Let's set the stage, dear.

You're one of many students inside Saint Bernard's School for Prodigies, a place that since it's building process, was meant to be a safe environment to all gifted students, and even students that didn't seem to have any talent at all. It was built to be a welcoming place.

It was built to rival Amaryllis Academy. While Amaryllis was focused on a specific group of people (coff coff rich families coff coff), Saint Bernard's was supposed to be the… "Common crowd alternative".

It never got to the same level of development as Amaryllis did. Although there are rumours about the Academy being a breeding ground for prejudice and discriminatory behavior (involving a lot of bullying towards students that had paid their way into the scholarship), Saint Bernard's was basically disfuncional.

The only thing granting a base for it's failed and shaky structure, was government income and the rumours around the school. Student deaths, delinquency, gang fights, fragile authority that fails to reinforce school regulations, contraband inside school grounds, no security for both the faculty's staff nor the students, severe cases of bullying, etc, etc.

You heard that a billion times. And don't get me wrong, it is not like there aren't good people here, good people that can't afford a better place to go. But the bad overthrows the good.

So here you are, just another boy trying to pass through the school year like any other student. A guy trying to keep under the radar of… Basically, every single student and teacher in this place. You came with terms that, sadly, you couldn't trust no one here.

You saw what happens if someone like you starts to get comfortable around these people. They're brutal. The thought of getting out of this place has crossed your mind many times, but you don't really know where else to go. It's the nearest place to your house, and it's literally free to enter.

You're the silent type, you're not exactly antisocial by any means, you just prefer to be left alone with your pens and your trust sketchbook, although, it's kinda not having much space left, is it?

You don't have more money to buy a better set of materials, and to be honest, you're aware of how unkindly people would treat you if you bring something a little more pricey. There were students who were already picking on you for the fact that you just kept drawing and being a lazy bun, if they saw you with things that clearly looked (even a little bit) expensive you would never hear the end of it.

You remember seeing a poor girl (I mean literally) who had saved her money to buy a new pair of shoes, since her's were clearly old and tearing apart. Her tenacity was something really admirable, as she saved more than enough money to buy something actually good for her. Something she probably didn't seem to be accustomed with, as her reaction to getting her new shoes destroyed in front of her own eyes was absolutely heartbreaking.

Chills still run down your spine, as you remember one boy saying something like-

"- It's her own fault. She shouldn't have come to this place wearing that."

You really hate this place, the only shine of light though was what you heard another boy say.

"- Yeah, it sure is a poor girls' fault that a bunch of imbeciles are jealous of her accomplishments." That sarcastic tone was more than enough to get your attention, looking at the direction of the voices talking you saw the two boys that were talking.

One was clearly discomfortable with the situation, like he just said something stupid and is trying to not sound as bad as it was, and the other one who was not even looking at the asshole beside him, and oddly enough, he wasn't looking at the situation happening in front of everyone anymore. He felt like someone was looking at him, and coincidentally, there you were.

Of course, he looked at you like he would simply get up and beat the shit out of you for staring at him, he thought you had a problem with him, and he wouldn't mind starting a problem with you if that were the case.

The cold look was enough to send you the message, and not wanting to cause any trouble, you just moved your attention to somewhere else, ya know, like the girl suffering in the middle of the school's hall, maybe you shouldn't have looked at him for so long.

I guess you were just, caught up in his features?

Okay, maybe you have a problem now. You can't help but keep drawing him! Like, okay, you thought that maybe just one sketch would be fine. He has a lot of nice facial features and- and he is always with a closed expression. No emotions, just pure angst. You found yourself liking to draw him, and when you noticed, you had enough material to cover two pages. Two fucking pages filled with a boy don't even know!!

[Y/N], come on, get to your senses. You heard about the boy, he is one of the many delinquents running this place, if not the leader of one of the most influential gangs around this hellhole. Jack, was it?

Imagine having that guy and his gang come beat you up for being extremely nosy and drawing him so many times? You want to know what's worse though? One of these sketches were from a specific moment you saw this man without his jacket on, his shirt being see through and almost non-existent.

You need to burn all of them. Immediately. Or otherwise your school year will go from manageable to completely fucked. But some of these make great art studies tho-

"- Yo. I need to talk with you." Oh dear lord, your time has come.

"- S-Sup!" You try to hide the sketchbook before he notices some interesting depictions of himself. But honestly, it was too late boo, he already knew about it.

"- Mayday told me you've been stalking me." Jack said, not sounding even a little bit concerned about being "stalked".

You don't really know who is "Mayday", unless she is one of his gang's members. Actually, you may have a guess on who she is. You think you saw some girl giving you odd looks here and there, not really mean looks, but just "concerned looks", and now that you think about it, you saw her walking around with Jack.

Wait, was she the girl that got her shoes destroyed that day?

"- Oi! Aren't you going to say what the fuck is your problem?" While you were thinking about who that girl was, Jack took the opportunity to come closer and snatch your sketchbook.

"- Give me that. You better answer me or you won't see this until then." Jack had started to open the sketchbook up, to his absolute luck and to your demise, he opened up on that exact page.

"- Wait! Hold on, don't open it!-"

Too late though. His face said everything.

"- Woah. Interesting." Jack knows absolutely nothing about art and drawing and stuff like that. Yeah, he may know a couple of things about writing but, it's completely different to him. He is impressed with how talented you are.

That's so quite flattering details you managed to put in there, does he really look like that to you?

"- This is your work right? Is this why you kept staring at me?" He asks you, but honestly, what would answer? This guy has a whole group of people that can easily hurt you, so telling the truth can both free you and damn you.

"- Yeah, I did all of these… I'm sorry if it seemed like I was stalking you, well, I mea- I'm sorry if it made you feel awkward, I just thought you were a interesting model I guess?" There is no imaginable way of saying this without sounding like an stalker, right? God, this is so embarrassing…

Jack is absolutely flattered by this. Oh, yeah, it's creepy as fuck, love. But does he really care? I mean, dearest, do you really know him?

Mayday wasn't the first one to notice you staring, of course he felt someone drooling over him. It facinates him how ever since that day you kept being more prominent in his life, or rather, in his mind, as he never really made a move to physically interact with you.

He is surprised by how his acting skills have improved, he thought that he wouldn't find a way to convince you of his surprise when noticing your drawings for the "first time". Throughout this whole time he has thinking about you, is funny to see that in a way you were also thinking about him. Well, partially, you probably saw him as only a way to improve your art.

And honestly, he doesn't mind being your muse.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[captainchocolatesstuff]

The Dolphin Plush

Alpha!Jotaro Kujo x Omega!Reader

  You really love your plushies, but one, in particular, was most special to you. It was a white Dolphin plush that you named Echo, given to you by your parents on your birthday when you turned six. Even now as a growing teen you loved the soft Dolphin to bits, but you had to stop carrying it with you once you presented as an omega since you had a small habit of cuddling it, which also caused you to accidentally scent the plush toy. 

Now, here you were in class, scribbling doodles in your notebook as your ghostly companion, Ace of Spades, stood next to you by your desk looking around the still slightly new environment of your classroom as you distracted yourself. But sometimes you occasionally listened in on the occasional gossip of the girls nearby, one conversation caught your attention though, “Hey, did you hear Jojo is back!”, one excitedly squealed.

“Yes actually! Did you see his red-haired friend with him too? I thought Jojo didn’t have friends”, the other hummed.

“I know right, he always had this lone wolf vibe to him, still though I wonder how long they’ve known one another”, the third one in the group pondered out loud.

“Jojo? Must be a popular guy”, you quietly thought as the bell rung then all of a sudden you hear loud squeals of “JoJo!” outside the classroom before a booming voice suddenly yelled, “Shut the hell up!!”. There was a moment of silence before there was a wave of more squealing and, if anything, you began to feel bad for the guy as you sat there taking a moment to look over your doodles before closing your notebook as soon as the classroom door was slammed open. Looking up you saw the tall male that was called  “Jojo”, he looked to be around 6’4 or 6’5, he had a modified uniform (along with the hat), jet black hair and seemingly green eyes. He looked very bothered with his narrowed eyes and near-permanent frown, but you were sure anyone would be if they were hounded by a group or crowd of people.

Though there was something else too, by his looks alone anyone could tell that he was an alpha, but by the faint whiff of his scent you caught on to the fact that he was an apex alpha. It kind of surprised you really, apex alphas weren’t common but they weren’t rare either, shrugging it off you failed to notice how his eyes immediately landed on your stand once he entered the room. You also failed to notice how his eyes narrowed at you once the stand went behind you to rest her head on your own nonchalantly, you didn’t look familiar to Jotaro at all so he concluded that you entered this school when he was on his journey to Egypt with company.

You sat in the desk that was to the left of him, it was previously empty when he was around but now that he was back he wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he now had to sit next to a girl that apparently had a stand as well. When he approached his seat he finally smelled the fragrance you had around you, “An omega?”, Jotaro’s brow furrowed more as the corner of his lip twitched, the stand users he faced off against back in Egypt were commonly Betas and Alphas, but he couldn’t help but be slightly surprised that there was an Omega Stand User right there in the desk next too his. He sat down as other students filed into the classroom one by one, he looked at you through his peripherals as you spun your pencil in your hand, your stand was still out laying her head on your own with her top hat tipped to the side.

Observing the stand more, Jotaro found the stand to be similar to something that came from a western of sorts with it’s ‘apparel’, the tar-like substance on its head nearly reminded him of a flappers’ hairstyle, the stand definitely had a mouth, but the slanted slits of its “eyes” seemingly made an ‘A’ with the near triangle like print on its face. You looked to be dosing off as your stand cooed while she nuzzled into your hair, the action made Jotaro curious as Star Platinum made his appearance without Jotaro’s influence, “Ora?”, the noise made you jolt slightly as your stand suddenly retracted itself from you to look at Star Platinum in regard to his sudden occupancy. Jotaro himself was caught off guard with his stand’s sudden behavior, looking back at Star Platinum he saw the stand nearing your own stand and her behavior nearly mirrored the stand’s actions, when Jotaro looked over at you he saw how you also looked at your stands’ interactions with wonder and bewilderment.

Then you looked at Jotaro, with a slight head tilt you blinked owlishly as his eyes narrowed at you, calling back Star Platinum he tipped his hat whilst looking away from you, as you looked at him for a moment longer you swore you almost heard him mumble something that sounded like “Yare Yare Daze”.  

You both eventually caught onto each others’ names once roll call started, and neither of you could concentrate much on the subject that was being taught once you both saw each others’ stands. You were genuinely curious about how many other users there were now that you found something that you had in common with Jotaro Kujo, Jotaro, on the other hand, was still somewhat taking caution to the fact that you were another stand user. 

Once class was done and lunchtime rolled around, Jotaro was quick to leave his seat as you grabbed your lunch, you bit your lip softly as you watched him leave since you really wanted to ask him about his ghostly companion. You looked at the ground before your sound made a cooing noise catching your attention, looking at Ace of Spades you noticed how she was looking at a bento box that Jotaro seemingly forgot. You smiled at your stand as you picked up the box and quickly speed out of the classroom after taking a quick sniff of Jotaro’s bento to track his location faster, with several turns and occasionally bumping into dead ends you finally were able to trace his scent to the rooftop of the school. Going up the stairs you opened the door and saw Jotaro with a red-haired male that you couldn’t tell was another alpha or beta -if you recalled correctly from what you recently overheard, he was Jotaro’s supposed friend- their attention landed on you as soon as your omega scent was within their radius.

“You”, Jotaro huffed out was Kakyoin looked over at his friend before looking over at you.

“Was she the one you were talking about Jotaro?”, he asked.

“Uh, well, I am actually here to bring your lunch you forgot back in the classroom, did -uh- did I interrupt something?”, you sheepishly ask as you lightly swing your lunch from beside you.

“Not really, well actually - Jotaro did bring you up in the conversation we were having, he mentioned have a stand too (L/n)”, Kakyoin explained. You were left confused as to what he meant when he said stand, and it showed through your facial expression when you furrowed your brows in puzzlement.

“I’m sorry, but what is a “Stand”?”, you ask.

Jotaro huffed as he summoned Star Platinum, “This is Star Platinum, he is my stand”, he briefed.

  Jotaro and Kakyoin watched you as your mind seemingly clicked when you understood what they meant after a moment of your silent confusion, “Oh, so that is what they were called, I’ve known her as my “Ghost Companion” all this time”, you explain as you summoned your stand. 

She appeared beside you within an instant as both Jotaro and Kakyoin took in her full appearance, Jotaro noted the few things that he had missed when he first saw the stand. For one, it seemingly had braids shaped like spades, and on her abdomen, there was a large spade print, and she didn’t really have fingertips, they looked to be cut off in a way and they almost reminded Jotaro of gun muzzles. 

~                                                                                                           ~

“A Ghost Comanpion you say? That’s one way to call a stand I guess”, Kakyoin chuckled as he summoned Hierophant Green.

 Jotaro huffed recalling the time he called Star Platinum an “evil spirit” before he came to know them as stands.

“Ah, well anyway, here’s your lunch Kujo”, you lift his lunch towards him, he rose a brow but didn’t say much as he took it back from you. There was a brief brush of skin to skin contact but it didn’t bother either of you too much as you hummed before stepping back. “Anyways, I’ll be heading out now, see you guys around I guess”, you wave before turning to leave.

“Why not eat lunch with us then, that is unless you have somewhere to be right now...”, Kakyoin trailed off as he looked at you.

You looked back at the two as Jotaro opened his bento and began to eat his meal while you briefly considered the offer, “Ah well, if that’s okay, I hope I am not intruding or anything…”, you look to the side as Kakyoin smiled.

“Don’t worry, we were mainly talking about you anyway since Jotaro was surprised to find another stand user here while we were away”, Kakyoin clarified, a mild pink hue spread onto your cheeks as you let out a breathy laugh.

Sitting with them you decided to ask, “So why are they called stands anyway?”, you look at Kakyoin as he swallowed some of his food down.

“Well for one, a Stand is a manifestation of one’s fighting spirit, they are called Stands because they stand by its user ready to act when needed”, he explains, you noded at the information as you summoned Ace of Spades before you while you chewed on your food.

“That makes sense, Ace of Spades is usually nearby whenever I call her”, you absentmindedly say.

“You named it after a playing card”, Jotaro rose a brow at you, you only nod your head sheepishly as you smiled.

“Yeah, my dad really liked playing cards on his spare time when he was young, that and well, my mom had an affinity towards western movies, so her appearance, in general, reminded me of what my parents enjoy”, you say, Kakyoin couldn’t help but smile at your words while Jotaro studied you.

“Ah~ Where are my manners, I forgot to introduce my self, my name is Noriaki Kakyoin”, Kakyoin stretches his hand out towards you, you smile as you take his hand giving a light shake.

“It’s nice to meet you Kakyoin”, you chirp, Jotaro shifted slightly when he smelled your fragrance, the hormones with it told both males that you were happy and content as a small purr rumbled from your chest. Jotaro felt that his inner Alpha was also content with the situation at hand, with a slight twitch of his brow Jotaro tried to ignore his Alpha as he listened to you and Kakyoin chat, and while reluctant Jotaro was mildly surprised that he actually tolerated your presence.

Jotaro huffed as he left the school, annoyed at the bothersome beta and omega girls that had tried to scent him when he was leaving school ground. He momentarily saw you jogging, and only watched as you did, carefully observing you as you left before he eventually went on home by himself since Kakyoin apparently had some after school going on for him. 

Once Jotaro reached home he slightly grimaced at his grandfather’s boastful laughter as his mom came to greet him, “Jotaro! Welcome home~!”, Holly chirps as loud purrs erupted from her chest. He let his mother hug him, and while he opposed the display of affection he let it slide after the duration of time that she laid sick in bed. 

“Hm? Jotaro did you meet someone new?”, Holly asked, with curious eyes, Jotaro furrowed his brows and lightly sniffed himself.

The scent of the girls that tailed after him should’ve worn off since he usually took semi-long walks to get rid of their scents, his Alpha was often irritated by their combined fragrance and would often growl in agitation when they let their scent glands rub upon him. But their scent was non-existent, his uniform smelled of his own Alpha musk, so with a small huff he tried to smell his back to see if one of the (irritating) girls from school scented his bag without his notice. Then he caught the faint smell of your fragrance, with furrowed brows Jotaro opened his bag and pulled out the rag that his bento was previously wrapped in, carefully bringing it to his nose he took a light sniff and sure enough, he smelled your fragrance on the rag it was very faint but it was still there.

Jotaro didn’t immediately pull away though after he sniffed it, but he did lower it after his eyes narrowed, “How could you smell that? It was very faint…”.

“When you become a parent you’ll understand~”, Holly cooed at her soon as he huffed, before she continued, “So who are they? Are they a new friend of yours now?”, she asked excitedly. Jotaro grumbled a bit as he removed his shoes before walking past his mother.

“They’re...new”, he simply said.

You hummed contently as you rested within your nest, hugging your Dolphin plush as you looked over the at the other plushies that surrounded you. Snuggling into your Dolphin plush you caught the faint whiff of Jotaro’s scent making you pause, slowly sitting up you sniffed lightly and traced it to your hand that lightly brushed against Jotaro’s hand, you weren’t too bothered by the smell but went to wash your hands anyway in case your younger sister got too curious.

Going to your restroom you washed your hands but as you did your omega whined at doing so, and once you dried them you rose your hand to your face with furrowed brows, mildly confused as to why your omega would whine at what you did. 

  As days went on you, Jotaro and Kakyoin fell into a sort of daily ritual that lead to Jotaro learning more about you and you learning more about him. You never took Jotaro’s brooding demeanor as something to look down on, it actually made his character more interesting to you and getting to know him a bit more personally, you also caught yourself occasionally purring whenever you were around Jotaro. Jotaro also occasionally caught onto your purrs and his alpha couldn’t help but respond with a churr of his own, while this didn’t happen too often it oddly didn’t bother Jotaro like it usually would when other girls purred at him (he’d growl in response when they did).

Getting to know Jotaro and Kakyoin made your world change in a way you couldn’t describe, but it was a pleasant one, maybe it was because of the fact that you all were stand users. You couldn’t really tell but you didn’t dwell too much on the subject. Jotaro always acted nonchalant around you, but you never really minded as you walked with him out the gates beside Kakyoin, talking about where you were hoping to go once you left school. 

~                                                                                                                   ~

“I forgot to mention it, but my mom wanted me to invite you two over to dinner today”, Jotaro says.

  “Really? Well, I have nothing to do, I am not sure about you though (Y/n), are you available?”, Kakyoin turns his attention to you as you smile.

“I’m able, my sister is having a sleepover with friends, I’d just need to call my parents though”, you explain. 

 They both nod in understanding as you all made your way to Jotaro’s house, and once you arrive you couldn’t help but ogle at the building until a woman (who you assumed must be Jotaro’s mom) appeared at the front door.

“Jotaro you’re home! And you brought Kakyoin with you too~ Oh?”, she suddenly tilts her head when she spots you. With a smile, you introduce yourself to Jotaro’s mom, 

“Hello Mrs. Kujo, I’m (Y/n) (L/n), a -uh- friend of Jotaro’s”, you smile, Holly couldn’t help but let out loud chirrups as she approached you, it mildly surprised you as she suddenly held your hands and gave you a radiant smile.

“Oh my, you’re an omega too dear? And a friend of my son no less! You seem like a sweet girl (Y/n)”, Holly cooed, a dark blush spread onto your face as purrs rumbled from your chest.

“A-ah~ Thank you Mrs. Kujo”, you sheepishly say.

“Please, call me Seiko dear”, she chirps.

Kakyoin couldn’t help but smile as you and Holly got along, the two omegas producing fragrances that signified how happy Holly was and how comfortable you were getting, Jotaro closed his eyes as he took the chance to really take in your aroma, it smelled like peach, vanilla, and had a soft hint of pine. Holly lead you inside and looking in the nice house you almost missed the two elderly people that were getting the table ready.

“Hm, oh it’s Kakyoin! I also see that Jotaro has a new friend now”, the elder alpha chuckled heartily as Jotaro growled in annoyance, you also smelled that he was another apex. 

“Don’t tease him, Joseph, you wouldn’t want to scare the poor girl away now do you?’, the elderly woman scolded, you were mutely surprised that she was a beta since her scent was so faint, but it didn’t bother you at all since the aura of the room was nice and comforting.

“Well, anyway, hello little miss, I am Jotaro’s grandfather Joseph Joestar”, he smiles as he stuck his hand out for you to shake. 

“Hello sir I’m (Y/n) (L/n)”, you greet as you shook his hand.

“And I am his grandmother Suzie Jostar~!”, she chirps.

Dinner went well, and you found Jotaro’s family to be quite extraordinary, as you spoke with them Jotaro let a ghost of a smile form on his lips as he ate. Kakyoin left once dinner was over, Mr. and Mrs. Joestar left to their bedroom while Holly went to pick up the phone that rung as you offered to help pick up and clean the dishes with Jotaro. As you did there was a comfortable silence that surrounded you two as you took the chance to rally pick out Jotaro’s scent; there was a faint smell of cigarettes, but the salt and homey scent he had on him helped balance out his unique scent. 

  “Hey, Jotaro”, you call to him.

“Hmn”, he hums back, acknowledging your call.

“Thanks for inviting me, and… letting me be your friend”, you smile up at him.

Jotaro took a moment to really take in your image, he looked away with the tip of his hat as he purred, you responded with your own purr as you both finished with the dishes.

With a huff, you pouted when you looked down at your dolphin plush, you didn’t mean to bring it to school and accidentally packed it with you.  You then paused in a mild panic as your actions signified that your heat was nearing, sometimes omegas brought an item that is close to them for someone to scent it, or to bring a form of comfort for them when out in public. Hugging Echo you let out a small whimper as you tried to stuff your lovable plush in your bag.

“(Y/n), what are you doing?”, Jotaro’s voice made you jolt as you turned to look at him.

“Ah! Jotaro -um- good morning! I was just -er- just…”, your voice softened as you looked down at your plush, for some reason you felt shameful as you stood there with your head hung low, “I- brought Echo with me because I am nearing my heat”, you clarify.

“.....Do you need someone to scent it?”, Jotaro asked.

You look up at him suddenly as you stare at him wide-eyed, “Not really, I just- well- I wanted something to bring as a comforter since, you know, I just wanted something to hug but the plush is obvious and everyone would know”, you say, a small pouty frown forming on your lips.

“Don’t feel bad about what your body is naturally doing (Y/n)”, Jotaro says, his attempt at comforting somehow let you relax a bit as he stood next to you, “Let’s go, we might be late to class”, he gestures as you nod and follow him to the class by his side.

Jotaro kept an eye out for you the entire time throughout the school day as you hugged your dolphin plush, he stared down anyone who tried making a comment about your plush that you had with you as you went about your day, but this time when lunch came around you decided to go to the courtyard since the rooftop of the school didn’t seem too appealing at the moment.

So Jotaro went to get Kakyoin as you ate your lunch with Echo on your lap, then you scrunched your nose when a sour musky scent entered your nose.

“My, my, what is an omega doing alone out here”, turning your head you saw an alpha approaching you as his friends stayed back watching you two.

You frowned as you gripped your meal.

“That is none of your concern”, you snap as you glared at the male.

“Ooo~ Fiesty~ I see you brought something with you, is Mr. Dolphin giving you enough company ‘mega”, he purred, your omega hissed as you scooted away from him once he sat down.

“Better company than you it would seem”, you glare as he continued to near you.

“You’re nearing your heat are you not? Why not let me scent it, you can have a part of me in that little nest of yours as you enter your heat, better yet why not met me into your nest so that your heat can go easier on ya”, he smirks, your jaw dropped at his appalling words.

When he tried to reach for your plush you immediately retaliated with a loud hiss escaping your omega as you scratched him.

“OW! You bitch, you’re gonna pay for that!”, he roared making you jolt as his pheromones radiated anger, panicked chirps escaped you as you tried to lean back to escape him, but he caught you by your caller and tugged you towards him.  

You dug your nails in his wrist to make him let go, but then a hand grabbed his before throwing it off you, you felt yourself be pulled in close to Jotaro as his scent entered your nose. Looking up at him you heard low warning growls rumble from his throat, teeth bared, and pheromones radiating promised aggression.

“Stay away from my omega, knotthead”, Jotaro growled, the other alpha tried to appear dominant as he growled back at him.

“Your Omega, ha! Then you must suck at scenting her since I can’t smell you on her”, he mocked. Jotaro leaned down to your ear as he nuzzled into your head.

“Don’t get too mad”, was all he whispered as he began to scent you in front of the offending alpha boldly, his scent gland rubbed on you as you let several purrs slip. The offending alpha growled in frustration but stomped away as you and Jotaro stood there.

“Thanks, Jotaro, I’m sorry that I caused you trouble”, you say softly, Jotaro huffed as he let you go slowly.

“Yare Yare Daze, you didn’t do anything, I should be apologizing since I scented you without consent”, Jotaro mumbled but you caught his words and smiled shyly.

“Actually, um, Jotaro…”, you call to him as you pick up Echo and walk over to him, you offer the plush over to him as you looked away, “...can you scent this, you don’t really have to… you did more than enough for me and-”, you cut yourself off as Jotaro’s eyes momentarily widened.

Courting. You wanted to court him, after all the time you spent together, and admittedly he couldn’t help but be pleased with that. 

“I’ll do it sheesh, I like you too… (Y/n)”, he says softly as he takes the plush from you, making you look up at him, Jotaro couldn’t help but let his eyes soften as a smile spread onto your lips. 

“Thank you Jotaro!”, your omega purrs as Jotaro huffed but let his alpha churr in response as he leaned down to peck your forehead.

When Jotaro reached his home, he went straight to his bedroom and started scenting the plush Dolphin before pulling back to study it, a chuckle escaped him at the slightly coincidental thing. Looking at his desk, he looked at the nearly finished bracelet he was working on for you. With a small smile, he went over to the desk to finish the courting gift with the help of Star Platinum. 

[tosikoarts]

SFW Alphabet | Kikuta

Ogata is next. You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Kikuta is so serious that it comes off extremely funny. He hasn’t been in a stable relationship for quite a while so getting back in the game gives him headache and upset stomach. For a person that pompous, with a damn jacket made of collected guns, he acts awkwardly sweet and romantic, and he is also a little afraid that it will push his potential partner away. In short, Kikuta is a mess.

Opposite to his own state, Kikuta wants to bring peace to his loved one’s life. He tries to pull off image of ideal man, one that will take off his jacket and cover a puddle with it just for his partner to stay clean. Seeing encouragement makes him more confident, less nervous, and therefore more refined. You’ll be drowning in attention, gifts, praise. Later, Kikuta gets comfortable with his own clumsiness and awkwardness and just laughs it away.

Relaxing together is a must. Impromptu rest in hot springs, not in those controlled by establishments, but in wild ones, is a great example. Reading aloud? Yep. Chilling under the blankets? Yep. Massages and back rubs? Yep. Kikuta manages to make everything wholesome. Thankfully, war couldn’t kill his kindliness.

He voluntarily takes on the role of a guardian angel to protect his loved one from world’s harshness. Kikuta wouldn’t want them to see what he has seen - pain, cruelty, disease - so he made it his goal to improve himself and the world around. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

The highest possibility of becoming Kikuta’s friend is either being soldier of 7th division or being nurse that patched him up few times. He is rarely seen out of his missions so chances to get acquainted with him randomly on a street are low.

Kikuta is the friend that bails you out of problems, no matter how serious they are. In a street fight, he will kick any thug’s ass and make them beg for mercy. If you lose the bid while gambling, he will offer his own money and give you a chance to win some back. Overall, you can always rely on him.

Get ready for philosophical conversations over the glass of whiskey. He likes to talk on a variety of topics, especially abstract ones, like life and death, moment and eternity, love and hate. Most of the reasoning comes down to Kikuta’s military experience but can you blame him for it? Many allegories with weapons: “time flies like a bullet”, “life is just being at gunpoint without realizing it”, etc.

Most likely, he will be looking for a person whom he can serve as a father figure. Kikuta needs someone to look after thou he will rather die than admit it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Kikuta has to be in specific mood to initiate cuddles and receive them. If he is busy, he will give his partner a faint smile and ask them to wait a little. Surprise, he doesn’t like spooning since it deprives him of the possibility of seeing their adorable face. Half-spoon sounds good and gives more opportunities like kissing his loved one in the top of their head or ruffling their hair. Honeymoon hug is the all time favorite that he likes to initiate right before falling asleep.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Mediocre in both cooking and cleaning, but, boy, does he want this domestic life? Absolutely. Kikuta dreams about getting away from military, finding a new, maybe, not that exciting, stable job, and settle down with his favorite person and few pups. Hardly anyone knows about it, but thought about a small yard where one can sit and watch the slowly falling leaves in autumn or play in a first snow with his own child in winter makes him so soft. Waking up in the comfort of own bedroom, cooking dinner for the whole family, wandering around his own house… Kikuta can’t wait for it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Comprehensive information about the break-up will be presented at its best in oral or written form. Kikuta addresses everything they are interested in, from reason to the wish to stay friends since his care for their feelings is infinite and he wouldn’t want to leave them without proper closure. After parting ways, Kikuta gives them space to recollect themself, let off the steam, and recover but he plans to come back in their life as a good friend (if they are okay with that, of course).

Kikuta is one of the people that got your back even after bad break-up. You could throw a tantrum, tell how much you hate his guts, and still he will check up on you, protect your name behind the back, and treat you with the same respect as always.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Typical traditional looks on marriage, would want to get married after 1-2 years of relationship. After the appearance of attachment, Kikuta can’t imagine himself with anyone else even if there is a more suitable partner right under his nose. His trust in them is immeasurable: their worst flaws do not don't bother him that much, and when they do, Kikuta tries to gently persuade his loved one into more appropriate behavior. Their past doesn’t matter either unless it is associated with straight-out high treason. Like he doesn’t justify anything but doesn’t seem to emphasize attention on the past wrongs. He is one of the most committed man around, really.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

You have to have Kikuta’s heart set on you for him to show the gentle side. He is polite, it's true, he knows how to court person, but he must force himself to put tenderness in action. Good news: it works like a physical exercise. The more often you do this, the easier it gets. Over time, Kikuta feels comfortable enough to call them pet names like angel or dearest, even in public, without worrying to appear vulnerable.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Not the biggest fan of the hugs, but likes to put one arm around loved one’s shoulder. There is no particular reason, Kikuta is just too awkward when someone hugs him. Only his fingertips land on their back or waist, never the whole palm, and he tries to keep some space between them too. The exception to the rule is first meeting after long time apart when Kikuta wants to press them into himself, hold them as close as possible, and live this moment to the fullest.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Hard to say. If Kikuta sees frivolous attitude on their part, if he feels that he is just another pit stop on the road of their love victories, he will keep confession for someone else. Also, Kikuta either chooses the best romantic moment to confess or does it in the most awkward inappropriate time possible, no in between. After this, he is still hesitant to throw sweet words to the left and to the right but he eventually thaws and turns in the softest man, muttering sweet nonsense in his loved one’s ear.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Kikuta can be characterized as selectively jealous with a high threshold of tolerance. He has few people he wouldn’t want see his loved one around and he doesn’t care about everyone else, seeing them as unworthy opponents. One of the chosen people is Usami. Despite belonging to the same division, Kikuta doesn't trust him one iota. Superior private irradiates chaotic energy and aggression that easily can transform into harassment just to annoy Kikuta and bug him. Another one would be Tsurumi, known for the persistent love conquest and violent ways of achieving his goals. The last one would be Tsukishima, simply because he looks like a competitive man in his silent seriousness and devotion.

Poorly tolerates his loved one acting flirtatious, especially with three people listed above. His main coping mechanism is distancing which allows Kikuta to think about the situation and make sure he isn’t overreacting. After that, he decides to discuss the problem since he does want to make this relationship work.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Sensual kisser. He starts out as a man who knows what he is doing, skillfully and gently, and grows pretty demanding over the time. Kikuta likes to kiss in a secluded environment where there is no need to worry about anything other than the person in front of him, completely surrendering to growing passion. Yep, lip biting, tongue sucking, everything at the right time and in the right place. Lip kisses are his favorite because Kikuta knows nobody does it better, okay, but he is down for anything else too. He likes to kiss his loved one on the neck as well as plant kisses on both of their hands. And where he likes to be kissed? Lips and, who would expect, clavicles, and chest.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Seeing little kid automatically makes Kikuta nervous since, despite the efforts made, he has difficulties in communicating with them. The only fear Kikuta has is not death, nor prison, it’s crying baby that won’t fall silent after few coos and short cuddle. After several unsuccessful interactions with kids, he wondered if he could become a good father in the future and self-given answer was depressing. If his loved one wants to have children with him in the future, they have to rake the mountain of his doubts.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Chances are you won’t catch Kikuta in the morning because of important business he has to run through the work week. Maybe, you will hear the sound of a slamming door or receding footsteps but nothing more. On the weekends, this man always wakes up earlier than his partner, and almost immediately gets out of bed. Half of the times there will be an easy breakfast waiting for you on the table, and the other half you’ll find Kikuta industriously doing varied housework  Cuddles (or something more intimate) are rare, but Kikuta is more than willing to make up for it during the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Balances time at home and nights out well. Small dinner parties play great role in Kikuta’s life, he loves to invite guests to come over for a cup of tea and small talk or for whole evening of playing hanafuda. Kikuta isn’t the best host but with the help of supportive partner he will be more confident and better one. Spending time alone with the loved one, he likes to talk about the future and about anything at all, play games, or simply cuddle. If we speak about nights put, Kikuta is a big fan of Japanese theater, especially Western-derived shingeki that gained popularity in 1900s, and he insists going there at least once a month.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

First, he needs to get accustomed to the person, to observe their actions towards others so he can build an approximate image of them in the head. After the probationary period, Kikuta begins to gradually open up: his personality is revealed in short conversations over a cup of tea, in talk by the flickering fire, in single phrases like greetings or goodbyes. He often brings up old memories but needs a slight push to go deeper than nostalgic sighs. Never ever has word outburst so you’ll never hear information not meant for your ears.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Scarily cold-blooded when angry, but you have to push to piss Kikuta off, put some effort into it. He is used to deal with all kinds of people. Therefore, there’s already dozen of prepared lines of conduct that can be put to work when somebody is deliberately trying to mess with him. When angered, Kikuta’s first reaction is to shut the person up with one sentence if not a single word. Usually, it works. Sucks that it doesn’t when it comes to broken plate or spilled hellishly hot tea.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Here is the deal: good memorization doesn’t guarantee correct interpretation. Just like the case about the relationship between Ogata and Yuusaku, Kikuta may confuse something and come to the wrong conclusions, so often he chooses too subtly ask a leading question about thing that interests him. He is quite attentive and catches slightest changes in their behavior, listens carefully to the words they speak, but Kikuta can make a fool of himself once in a while. Like he forgot that they have a peach allergy (and he bought like 2 kilos) or they are scarred of big dogs (and he thought they would want to pet that sharp-toothed Kai Ken).

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment would be either proposal or moving in together. Both events mark a new stage in the relationship and keep him on the tiptoes. The day before Kikuta loses his composure: everything falls out of his hands, he cannot eat, cannot drink, cannot sleep because electrifying thoughts don't let him concentrate at all. The limbs seem foreign to him and Kikuta reaches new peak of awkwardness, tripping over his own legs. When the time comes, he is calm again. With the last bit of strength, he puts on a confident face and does his thing. The selected ring fits finger just right as well as his lips land exactly on theirs. After all Kikuta is absolutely sure of his choice and would not want to spend life with someone other than his chosen loved one.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

The closer the person gets, the more worried Kikuta becomes. You never know who is friend and who is enemy in the ongoing treasure hunt, who can stab you in the back because of newly devised action plan. To calm the soul, Kikuta may teach them self-defense both barehanded and with the use of firearms. Also, he is always straightforward about people to be careful with and people who can be trusted. For example, he will do his best to hide his loved one’s existence from 1st Lieutenant Tsurumi even if it means Kikuta has to stage their death.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Kikuta is your dream man when it comes to dates, he keeps things classy in the best sense of this word. Outside the military profession, Kikuta has the ability to appeal to the more refined side of himself and share his views with other. He is the one to take his loved one to historical museum or secluded beach at sunset, the one to look for a restaurant that follows Japanese cooking traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation. The only thing that can make him late is the doubts while choosing the best bouquet. On the anniversaries, there’s no tangible difference since he is used to spoil them with attention pretty much every day. Performs home tasks diligently as well.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Kikuta can be stubborn as donkey, godlessly, unapologetically stubborn. On some occasions he agrees with what another person is saying but still does it his own way, without any explanation, just because he thinks his option is better. It is more common in in the professional field but may pop up in domesticity too.

Speaking of work, Kikuta tends to over-work himself when case includes the thing that really interests him. Digging in paperwork brings him a feel of being needed and sense of stability, both of which are not always present in relationships with people. A person can drastically change his mind and words, stab you in the back, leave… but work? Work could never.

Kikuta can be a bore that wants to stay in one place, talk with the same people, speak out the same ideas. Such company will seem dull to over-active, expressive, and extraverted people.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Oooh, you can’t tell it from his face, but Kikuta takes good care of himself. Not a metrosexual, but a type that wants to be presentable at any time. His style is consists of neutral dark colors, smooth lines, as the opposite of his sharp facial features, and even his casual stubble is thought-out accessory. Probably carries his favorite comb in inner pocket to keep his hair smooth.

He has a collection of neckties for all occasions as well as he knows how to tie them in different, often whimsical ways. Kikuta would really like to pass on his knowledge to the son since in his imagination this is excellent example of cool father-son interaction.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Impeccable self-control helps to get though the loss partially. Right after the break Kikuta excuses himself and leaves. He needs fresh air and, maybe, cigarette. Or a drink. Or start his evening routine hours earlier than usual. Crushing awareness comes day later, when he cannot habitually hug his loved one or get an unexpected kiss on a cheek. Heartsore grows harder and goes away for weeks before Kikuta gathers strength to let them go. Restrains himself from relationship for year or two and secretly hopes they will come back.

If they were killed, Kikuta does not pursue the idea of revenge at any cost. He bears the loss steadfastly, self-reflects through long conversations with Ariko, and plunges in overtime work. If Kikuta gets a chance to cross roads with a killer, he will strangle him with them with bare hands, looking straight into the eyes, and watching their life slips away.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Kikuta is a dog person that has never in his life owned a dog. When a stray dog runs up to him on the street, Kikuta always scratches it behind the ear, and asks “who is the best boy”. While in army, he took care of fluffy mongrel that was sneaking around the military base until First Lieutenant Tsurumi ordered to get rid of it. Kikuta still has a dream to adopt few dogs with his loved one so they both can take care of them (and the puppies).

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Eccentric personas. The man is already working with Usami, he is already under tremendous pressure, okay? His psyche can tolerate one freak but no more. Eccentric persona does not mean a common person who has one or a couple of distinctive features. We all have specific oddities. No, we are talking about a walking circus, loud, bright, and defiant. Kikuta tries to avoid this type of people at all cost.

Outrageous rudeness makes him tic too. Ill-timed swearing, terrible table manners, inability to behave in society. Small annoying details add up to one big picture that Kikuta physically cannot ignore. He'll definitely try to change that in person.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Kikuta has an evening ritual he performs every day before going to bed. It starts with attentively checking if all the doors are closed, then he puts out the lights everywhere except bedroom and bathroom. While washing his face Kikuta makes plans for tomorrow. He revises them while choosing clean outfit for the next day and putting them next to his bed so in the morning he could instantly jump into his shoes, pull on pants, shirt, and run on important government affairs. Kikuta is mysteriously silent whole time. Attempts to break the silence with small talk result in short dry answers. This routine never changes, even if someone requires an urgent meeting, since repeated actions bring at least some stability to his life.

Calm sleeper until he has to share a bed with another person. Kikuta’s peaceful sleep turns into terrible insomnia, bags under his eyes start to resemble Tsukishima’s, and he feels just awful trying to explain another person that it is not their fault at all. Intensive training, special meditation, counting sheep do not work so he quietly lies on the back and listen’s to another person’s breath.

[fishoutofcamelot]

Merthur

[Send me a ship and I’ll give you my brutally honest opinions about it]

Hooooo booooyy you really wanna open that Pandora’s Box? You really wanna go swinging at that can of worms, my good sir? Well alright...

Okay! So since I respect the fact that people probably don’t want to hear me riff on their otp for a million years, my Brutally Honest Opinions will be located under a cut-off.

Tldr: every ship has flaws and it’s important to see value in the human-ness of that - but while Merthur is an objectively good ship, most of its flaws happen to be ones that personally make me very uncomfortable. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s perfectly fine because we’re all entitled to our own opinions and preferences.

I’ll preface this by saying that every relationship, fictional or otherwise, has some level of problematic-ness to it. People are messy and imperfect, and our relationships reflect that. Lack of communication, codependency, distrust - for the sake of simplicity we’ll call these things ‘Problem Factors’. And these Problem Factors play a big role in determining who/how we ship. That is, each person can tolerate certain Problem Factors while finding others uncomfortable, which leads them to shipping or not shipping certain things. You might tolerate secret-keeping and ship Merwen, while you might not tolerate heteronormativity and not ship Arwen.

I know that the fandom largely likes Merthur, and it’s easy to see why. It’s an objectively good ship - excellent buildup, chemistry, and overall dynamic. They have amazing scenes together and their banter is simply electric. So I don’t blame the fandom for adoring this ship so dearly, and under any other circumstances I probably would too. HOWEVER. It just so happens that Merthur hits up on a LOT of my personal squicky Problem Factors. And if it doesn’t hit up on yours, then great. More power to ya.

I could harp on about codependecy, Arthur’s occasional harshness and violence towards Merlin, fanon interpretations, oversaturation, power imbalance, or even the amatonormativity of the soulmate thing. Those would all be valid things to critique, and have probably already been critiqued to death at this point. So I’m not gonna talk about that. Instead, I’m going to address another elephant in the room that makes me far more uncomfortable than probably anything else:

The Minority Metaphor

I’ll be the first to admit that BBCM’s discrimination metaphor is...shoddy, at best. The victim-blaming, victim-antagonizing, and fascism-apologizing are some major issues that make this show unpleasant to rewatch at times despite it being one of my all-time faves. However, it’s also oddly relatable.

I make it no secret on this blog that I’m an American Muslim. And as a Muslim who lives in a very non-Muslim region of the world (seriously, I’m so deprived of Muslim interaction that I get visibly excited whenever I see one in public), I’m no stranger to discrimination.

When I watch magic-users be harassed for the actions of a rare violent few, despite the majority of them being peaceful people who just want to be left alone - when I watch magic-users constantly feel they have to apologize for being who they are - when I watch magic-users be antagonized in the eyes of the public - you can bet your fricking biscuit that I relate.

I couldn’t imagine falling in love with or being put into a relationship with an islamaphobe/bigot. Even if they’ve changed their views and reformed, it would still be a point of contention for me. Because I’ve been screamed at and harassed, and to think of my love interest having once been on the other side of the fence...I don’t think I could stomach a romantic relationship with them.

Now I love Arthur as a character, but we can’t ignore the fact that he’s part of the oppressive ruling class that has discriminated against and subjugated Merlin’s people for decades - and when he became king, Arthur himself contributed to that same oppression. And though he felt remorse for it, though he was just a young and impressionable child at the time, Arthur also still has that druid camp raid on his conscience (not to mention that he promised the druid ghost he’d make changes, we never see any of that happen on-screen).

Yes, his prejudices were the result of ignorance and his father’s propaganda/conditioning, but he’s not a child anymore. He can’t blame his mistakes on anyone but himself. He had moments of questioning magic, questioning the morality of the Purge, but ultimately fell back to his father’s rhetoric every time. You can blame Merlin and Morgana and his environment for manipulating him in that direction, but he’s still a grown man capable of forming his own opinions, not a pile of clay to be molded by the whims of others.

I sometimes try to ship Merthur, because it has a lot of appeal - but then I remember scenes where Arthur told Merlin that magic was evil straight to his face, and I can’t bring myself to be okay with that. If someone called me a terrorist to my face - and people have - I’d probably cut them out of my life then and there. “Oh but they’re a good person deep down.” Tell that to the people they’ve hurt and offended, Patricia. We can only excuse the bigotry of others because we have not yet found ourselves in the position of their victims.

Of course, canon has shown that Merlin is a far ‘better’ person than I. And by ‘better’ I mean that a lifetime of propaganda and subjugation, as well as the impression of Kilgharrah’s destiny-heavy rhetoric upon him, has brainwashed Merlin into being complacent in his own oppression. He’s okay with supporting and defending his oppressors, choosing the tyrannical ruling class over his own kind, because that’s how his mind has been twisted (not that that excuses his actions either, of course). And though Morgana kinda went off the rails, her heart was arguably in the right place with wanting to overthrow Camelot’s current government. If you’d put me in her shoes, I’d probably want to kill Uther too.

Nevertheless, I can accept that Merlin has more room for forgiveness in his heart, and could somehow find it in himself to love someone who was once (and maybe still is) in a position of oppressive authority over him. Like, I get it. If someone changed their ways, I’d probably be able to be their friend and get along with them, but to be in a relationship with them? Even if Merlin could conceivably fall in love with Arthur, I can’t in good conscience ship it.

Okay, what about shipping them but only in aus? Well, rock meet hard place. I can’t bring myself to ship them in canon because of everything I just talked about, along with the other uncomfortable Problem Factors I briefly touched on earlier. And I can’t bring myself to ship them in aus because I feel that if you have to change things about the ship to make it work, then maybe it wasn’t a good ship to begin with. Plus I just don’t generally like fanon interpretations of Merthur for reasons I do NOT have the time to get into unless you want me to write a full-length dissertation on fandom trends.

So...yeah. Those are my Brutally Honest Opinions about Merthur. I hope you’re prepare to contend with the tides of discourse this will likely spark.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[fiveisnumber1]

I love the idea of the Hidden Seven throwing a party at the mansion instead of taking Five along for his first college party. I think it would be very considerate of them since he probably would not like so much social interaction at once so the familiar environment and the fact he can kick everyone out the minute he's uncomfortable would give him some semblance of control over the situation. I'm imagining the Hidden Seven in a huddle, maybe while Reader and Five are on a date, and deciding this among themselves cuz they care about him and they've been to High School parties but college parties are on another level and Five has never been to ANY party. He's part of their little group now too so they take care of him in the little ways.

Additionally, as part of the "how to summon the H7", Five discovers eventually that it's not just memes that grab their attention but if he dares say anything slightly self-loathing about himself or says he's hungry/refers to his past trauma of any type, he can summon them as fast as if they have his power too, Usually along with a Hargreeve, notably Allison and Vanya as well. (there's a tumblr chat post used for fandom characters for this exact scenario or I'd type it out but I just can't remember it exactly rn D:)

Also would Five participate on the Hidden Seven's missions as well when not trapped by Big Bad Evil Guys? I can see him mostly taking a backseat with the fighting, acting as a distraction more than anything else but definitely getting used to the H7s antics and participating in these menial conversations unless he's in an agitated mood in which case he takes a more hands on approach as well.

Five (flashing in front of a robber so he doesn't realize Dean is about to shoot him in the back): Can we PLEASE go get a decent cup of coffee after this. I've been in class since 8 AM and now this?

Addison: Do you ever stop thinking about coffee? Sonata and I brought you some on our way to class! We thought it would tide you over til 3 at least!

Reader (melting someone's brains): He spilled half when someone bumped into his desk. I had to keep him from committing murder. Our Physics professor was not amused.

*Five kills someone in his peripheral with nothing but a paper weight*

Lucas (throws a guy against a wall): Ohh so that's why he's so murdery today... Normally he just distracts people for us.

Bren (using his whips to hold someone in place): Is that also why you asked to borrow my extra shirt?

Everyone looks and Five is indeed wearing one of Bren's usual shirts.

Kenny (punching the guy being held in place) : Hey! I offered too!

Bren: Yeah but none of us would be caught dead in your clothes after you bought your neon atrocity.

Kenny (gasps): You take that back! My jacket is the height of fashion!

Five (doing his stapler trick): Cool stapler, my guy. *kills him* Anyway can we get back to the point. COFFEE! I can't take Professor Snotty's class without it or I won't need paradox psychosis to feel homicidal rage... (flashes to reader's side) Hey, mon amour, need some assist? *holds guy in place so reader can do her thing*

Viktoria (pauses bad viola playing to say over the sound system): You call a Professor as Snotty?

Reader (taking her time with the destruction of the bad guy): His names Snitty so it's not any better. The entire phys-chem departments calls him that.

Kenny: I would like to meet this professor Snotty.

Reader and Five pause and consider it... The bad guy tries to sneak away.

Dean: Anyway so... Coffee after this? I have like 2 hours before my next class (impales sneaking away bad guy with an arrow) and I really don't wanna do my homework.

Kenny: Ooh! I want a unicorn milkshake!

Lucas (roughing up a bad guy): That sweetened monstrosity? Really?

Bren (slashing a guy): I am NOT babysitting Necrotic if he gets a unicorn milkshake. He's all yours.

Meanwhile, the bad guys are all dead and the H8 then go and get their well earned smoothies, milkshakes and coffees.

(Sorry for the long message, I almost sent three asks with all three topics separately but then combined them into one for ease after I caught up on the discussion this morning xD do you think it's all accurate to your vision?)

Oh yeah, they definitely take his lack of party experience into consideration. Giving him as much control as possible will make it such a better time for him. I think when the party actually occurs at first Five is a little hesitant just because it’s a lot of people he’s never met and it’s a new experience but which a couple of shots that Kenny definitely offered him he starts to loosen up and enjoy himself more. He would absolutely be by the readers side the whole time tipsily telling her about all the stuff he admires about her and pulling her on to the dance floor with him the more comfortable he gets. He would be having a hell of a time and would totally tell his siblings to leave if they showed up early.

Because of how much they care for Five if he ever said something negative about himself you would hear a chorus of “Nooooooo!” coming from across the house as all the rest of them ran from different directions to get to him. They’d immediately go into helping mode because even though they themselves would say similar things because they’re Gen Z so of course they wouldn’t want their friend to feel upset.

And yes, Five would definitely join them to fight criminals because it’s a very casual bonding activity for all of them. They just get notifications about stuff that is going down and they will all collectively drop what they’re doing and go there because it’s probably better than whatever they were doing before. And to the bad guys it is so infuriating that not only that they’re being beat by such young people but that they won’t even focus on the fight. They’re just that good together. Also:

Five: (spatial jumping around aggressively taking out people)

Kenny: (knocking someone out) Jeez he’s aggressive today. What happened?

Reader: (Throwing knives at some guys) Oh our physics professor was just well snotty today, as always.

Five: (snapping a criminal’s neck) JUST SNOTTY? HE WAS A FULL ON ASSHOLE. HE SAID SHE WAS WRONG WHEN SHE HAD THE RIGHT ANSWER AND WHEN I SAID THE ANSWER HE SAID I WAS RIGHT.

Viktoria: (making some criminals ears bleed) Oh god...is your professor still alive?

Reader: Yes

Five: UNFORTUNATELY. SOMEONE DECIDED TO STOP ME FROM PUTTING HIM IN HIS PLACE

Dean: (releasing an arrow into a guy) Five you would’ve put him in the grave.

Five: It’s where he belongs

Addison: (kicking a gun out of a criminal’s hand and across the room) Ringmaster, what did you do to stop him?

Reader: (disintegrating someone’s stomach) I had to use my powers to make him so dense he couldn’t jump. Believe me it took a lot to stop him.

Bren: (catching someone running away with his whip) Damn that’s crazy.

Lucas: (tossing a guy down a staircase) If it makes you feel better Five I would’ve done the same thing for Spotlight.

[skysybil]

Penumbra Superlatives: Most Likely To Be A Dark Matters NPC

The people demanded it, and I am indeed a magnanimous conspiracy theory machine, so here is my incredibly ridiculous reasoning behind my “who is in the dark matters simulation and who is fake” ranking, found here. Thank you to my partner for listening to me yell about this for 24 hours straight now. Man, I am gonna look like an idiot if this isn’t a Dark Matters induced simulation or dream in the end with how all-in I’ve been going with this.

Also, if you guys ever want me to lay out every fucking tiny detail I’ve seen that I think points to it being a simulation, I’ll do that too. Please validate me.

This is insanely long, it’s like two to three paragraphs for every member of the space family. This is kind of shameful, I almost feel bad. I’ll be your best friend forever if you read it all. Also, I’m putting it below the cut for everyone’s sanity. Anyway, let’s go lesbians, let’s go!

First, in the “definitely an active participant” category: Rrrrrita!

I’ll admit, it’s genuinely really hard to tell what discrepancies in the story are suspicious simulation details and what is just Rita being a particularly unreliable narrator. However, my first general point towards Rita being an active participant/player/whatever you want to call it is the fact that we’re experiencing this through her perspective! I think it would be really cool to tell the story from the perspective of a caricature puppeted by Dark Matters, but I feel like it would be way more obvious in gaps in her thinking patterns if she was fake. Honestly, I personally think it would be impossible to run it from the perspective of one of these NPCs (as i’m calling them) anyway, because... you know, they probably don’t have much in the way of thoughts in the first place. 

Plus, out of everyone in the group, she is most likely to be plucked out of a group of criminals by Dark Matters to recruit. Sasha knows her (or at least knows of her) and how good she is at her job. I’m sure she’s got a target on her back as someone that’s too powerful (seriously, I pray for the universe the day Rita realizes just how quickly she could take over the world--see: my THEIA Rita AU that i came up with this morning which I might post about later), but I’m also pretty sure killing Rita would be seen as a wasted opportunity. This could just be another test, just like Day That Wouldn’t Die but in an even more controlled environment. The perfect trap, the perfect test--hopefully for perfect results. And with how she tends to get caught up in glamour and drama or get distracted so easily, she’s one of the easiest members of the group to trick into not questioning the little discrepancies that comes from living in a lie.

---

Next, Vespa. Love of my life and the only other member of the Carte Blanche crew that I’m almost totally sure is sharing space in this simulation.

She’s in a similar position that she’s a valuable asset for Dark Matters to try and take on--especially if they can use her past debts as blackmail or something along those lines. She’s a damn good assassin and they tend to specialize in making people disappear. Why wouldn’t they seize the opportunity to test her and see if she could truly work for them? Dark Matters also seems to lack an ethical core, to say the least, and if they consider her past trauma and her illness to be an issue, I’m sure they wouldn’t be against trying to “fix” her in their horribly scummy ways just so she could be a better killer for their organization. It could also be related to her skills as a doctor with the crew, to be fair--while Rita is off building robots and trying to break into a super secret base, Vespa is repairing the entire medical wing, an incredibly suspicious task when apparently enough of the ship survived that Rita’s computers are okay, the entire crew is unscathed, and the Ruby isn’t a warped hunk of metal.

Though she is also very likely to be nabbed by Dark Matters as an opportunity, the main condemning thing against Vespa being an NPC is the conversation we overhear with Buddy. No one else knows that Vespa considered or decided on leaving the crew. We can’t say that’s a part of Rita’s mind affecting the simulation around her because Rita doesn’t know, and it’s not information that could be hacked, either. It was just in her mind. Unless Dark Matters has their hands on new mind reading technology (oh god, not this shit again), there’s no way that the scene with Vespa and Buddy could exist unless Vespa is also inhabiting the simulation. Every scene they choose to include is deliberate. To rule Vespa out of the plan, all it would’ve taken was likely just Vespa being her normal defensive self. Why would they include a scene with a look into that vulnerability if it didn’t matter?

Speaking of the Vespa and Buddy scene--but why would Vespa snap at Rita that badly if she’s real, you might ask. You’re right, Vespa is aggressive but not that aggressive normally, and it stood out in the few interactions we saw. In Vespa’s defense, if she is participating in this simulation, she is understandably freaked the fuck out. Vespa spends every day of her life hyperaware of what might be real and what might be fake around her. She’s most likely to figure out that something is very wrong first simply because of that trait. How much of her mind is Dark Matters manipulating? Would DM have to simulate her hallucinations, or would that come naturally along with her mind being stuck in this simulation? I imagine that for every discrepancy we’ve picked up on, she’s picked up on six--but she no longer has the explanation of it being a hallucination. I imagine it’s frustrating and terrifying for her. I’d be on edge, too!

---

Moving into our next category: “probably in the simulation”, with our only candidate Buddy.

Buddy is my question mark character. We barely interacted with her this episode. From what I can tell, most of what we saw from her seems in character, and she had some wicked fucking lines. I’m sorry, I refuse to give Dark Matters credit for the line “If you imagine all that could go wrong, all you’ve done is drag yourself through a thousand disasters. And even in the worst-case scenario, you will only need to live through one.” Because it genuinely made me feel better in real life, goddammit.

Buddy is mostly in this category for lack of evidence, both with the lack of interaction and with how Rita kind of glazed over the family meeting with her distractions. So, it’s hard to say. I’d love to hear others’ theories on Buddy’s place in this.

---

Now, we cross the threshold into those that are probably not in the simulation, or are acting incredibly suspicious: the “on thin fucking ice” category. First, Peter. 

Can this bastard decide on his personality for two whole minutes so I can get a handle on the little intricacies of the new Ransom persona? No? Goddammit. It’s hard to tell how much of the way he acted was genuinely suspicious and how much of it is the mask he’s put on for Peter Ransom. While he’s adopted the old name, he hasn’t adopted his old personality, so it’s near impossible to get good points of comparison on this new view. We’ve seen inside his head with this persona, sure, but we can’t compare the way he spoke and acted in his head with how he holds himself in front of Rita--he’s always going to choose his level of vulnerability based off of the least trusted person in the room. He’s not to that place with Rita yet. He’s going to have walls and facades up that he won’t have in front of Juno, or in front of himself. He can’t make it easy on him.

But that does not mean I can’t be suspicious of him, because I am. Fuck you, Nureyev, I’m still coming for you. Mainly, I’m squinting at his reaction to Rita’s plans and his lack of reaction to her openly talking about the two of them in an established relationship. We know damn well that Peter and Juno are not at that place yet. Why, do you ask? Because I trust that Sophie and Kevin wouldn’t take that moment from us. We’ve had three and a half years of slowburn buildup on Jupeter! We would not skip from “tentatively talking and trying to learn communication through ‘’’’’’poetry’’’’’’ and shit” to “established lovey dovey relationship” without being let in on it. I doubt Peter would let comments like the ones Rita made really slide in front of Juno--after all, the last time he admitted he was in love, Juno fucking left, and I bet there’s a lot of reluctance or trauma surrounding that. Yet he let it slide anyway.

Still, because Peter is a wild card, there’s still a possibility that his non-reaction was a defense mechanism or part of the Ransom facade (after all, he had to pretend he was in better standing with Juno than he actually was at first to keep his place in the family). The most suspicious thing he did in that conversation, in my opinion, was agree not to let anyone else know about the plan. He knows damn well that he is on thin ice with everyone in the crew except for Juno and Rita. Trust is in short supply for him and keeping his position in the family is incredibly important to him, both so he can find a way to pay off his debts and so he can pursue this shaky relationship he’s started to piece back together with Juno. Yet he hops right in with barely any pushback when it comes to keeping this Incredibly Vital And Important Plan a complete secret. Plus, you know, he supposedly couldn’t even stand, yet walked all the way to the computer cave. Sure, maybe Juno carried him, but I’d fully expect something like Juno picking him up to be a joke written into the script. I feel like it was deliberately left out.

Still, the only real glimpse of Peter that Dark Matters has ever had was of Rex Glass, and Peter definitely isn’t acting like his Rex persona, so how would they really know to get his personality around the Aurinko family to where it is? I suppose that could be attributed to Rita, Vespa, and/or Buddy shaping the simulation around them.

Tl;dr on the Peter section: He’s almost definitely an NPC but nothing is certain with a man whose entire sense of self is based off of an elaborate web of lies and inconsistencies.

---

Also probably an NPC, but I’m not sure, thus on thin fucking ice: Jet.

You cannot tell me for one fucking second that Jet doesn’t know the Ruby 7 inside and out. That car is his baby. He’s torn the car apart and repaired it more than anyone else, and you’re telling me he doesn’t understand the core functions of the car--the engine, the fuel tank? No fucking way. I don’t have 3.5 paragraphs of speculation for Jet, I’m just so hung up on the fucking car thing. His personality fits well, which is the one string I’m holding onto that makes him maybe possibly an actual human being, but I feel like Dark Matters fucked up by trying to fill in the blanks on the Ruby 7. That’s where I think the issue comes from--the reason there’s a part in the Ruby that Jet doesn’t understand is because DM doesn’t know how the Ruby works, and they tried to put in what they imagined could power it or fuzz over the details. But I will cry if the Ruby was actually destroyed in the crash, there’s no recovering from that.

---

And finally, if you’ve made it this far and not left after whispering to yourself holy shit, she’s insane, she’s absolutely insane, how much does this woman talk, we have the final category: unfortunately an NPC. And holy shit, is Juno 100% not in this simulation or being almost entirely puppeted by Dark Matters.

I genuinely can’t get into all my reasoning behind Juno being a puppet here without going on forever and doubling the length of this post, and I’ve put you through so much already. But every inch of Juno is suspicious, down to his tone of voice. Look, I’m happy to see him happy. But it just seems like a jump--just like as I discussed in the Peter section with the Jupeter relationship. It feels like we skipped something, or missed something. This is my theory: Juno has been crafted based off of how Sasha Wire knew him when she saw him last. He doesn’t have reactions that are quite right to the computers, to Peter, to anyone, really. Everything felt just a little off--until he got frustrated. Then he became more realistically Juno. I think this might be because Sasha is basing a comfortable and happy Juno (the one she assumes he must be around the people on the ship, especially Peter if she knows they’re romantically involved) off of the Juno she interacted with when they were younger, which is just off in comparison to the Juno we know now. She can build a more three dimensional Juno in the situations she’s familiar with, like a bored Juno, a frustrated Juno, or an angry Juno. She’s got the one-liners down, I’ll give her that.

I’m also just in general not surprised if Sasha is just keeping him separate from the rest of them. Possibly to try and talk him out of the family, get him untangled from the Dark Matters mess? Plus, he’s incredibly perceptive, and might be considered a risk to the simulation if he was in it. 

Also, the out-of-universe evidence: I am 100% convinced that the reason the episode script came out late is because it had to be edited to remove some of the directions, possibly suspicious things like “too cheery”. Specifically, I think one of Juno’s significant directions is missing. It’s hard to put exactly what kind of direction is missing into words because I don’t know anything about script writing, but I just... I have a feeling. Trust me on this. I’ve seen other people on Twitter talk about it too, I’m not the only one. I stand by it.

---

Anyway, since I want to keep my Juno-specific speculation as short as possible, that’s all, folks. If you stayed this long, genuinely I love you so much and I would give my life for you, message me or mention it in the tags that you made it all the way and maybe we could be mutuals or friends!! I love to ramble about this kind of thing. Follow me for more aimless speculation, hopefully not 2.5k words next time. If you have any questions or other stuff to discuss also mention it and I might post about it later!

Update: If you’re interested in the simulation theory, here’s the link to a post I just made laying out all my conspiracy theory evidence for it.

[thelastofgala]

I started The Last of Us, Pt. 2 last night, and here are my first impressions, musings on parallelism, Naturalism, Ellie’s characterization, Joel’s characterization, the “presence” of Riley, gameplay, story development, and more:

***SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT***

Starting with Joel. I always imagined The Last of Us 2 would begin at the end of Joel’s journey, though I will say that I did not expect to pick up so close to the end of the first game. I thought they would start us somewhere COMPLETELY out of context. Like I was prepared for much deeper flashback. In this way, I really felt like I was playing a sequel, which is not a bad thing. I just had no idea how they were going to frame this. The compelling thing about starting with Joel is that it immediately sets up parallels between Joel and Sarah, the character we start with in The Last of Us. There’s no way this was not a pointed decision. Just like it was with Sarah, Joel is our point of reference in a new, strange world. His point of view in this new world is all that we know. We don’t know what the new special world contains, and we don’t know grown-up Ellie at all. Plus, old fans will have missed him. It is a comfort to be Joel, and like a daughter protected by her father, a false and short-lived comfort. We are also now thinking of Joel as, like Sarah, someone who is in danger, whose agency is compromised, who, for whatever reason, is weakened this time around, and who may not survive the story. 

I will say, too, that I really loved that after the 4-years-later cut, Joel is held off-screen. He and Tommy are out on a patrol. They are out there, in danger, and that sort of restraint is really effective. We are ALWAYS looking for Joel, just like we were in the run-up to the release, because he is the only person we truly know in this strange, new world. ND knows and takes advantage of this.

There are many parallels between Joel and Riley. Both Joel and Riley sneak up on Ellie during their first interaction. They’re even wearing similar colors. Both Joel and Riley lied to Ellie in the previous story, and both betrayed her as an act of self-preservation. In Left Behind, Ellie is somewhat chilly toward Riley in the beginning, even as her younger, more optimistic self, just as Ellie is chilly toward Joel in the beginning of The Last of Us 2. Still, you can tell through Ellie’s dialogue with Dina that she and Joel are knitted together—he defended her against the bigoted bartender, and she appreciates this even if she doesn’t outright say it. They share taste in movies and have plans to watch a movie together soon. I haven’t interacted with Joel in the current timeline, but I do know that in Left Behind, Riley has to earn back Ellie’s trust and take measures to reenter her good graces, and that this is a large part of their relationship arc. I also know that, by the time they reconcile, it proves to be too late. The world will not let them have what they want, and nothing is simple. All of these parallels worry me a lot, as Left Behind, while still driven by a strong undercurrent of love (it is a love story, interwoven with Ellie’s desperate search for medical supplies in a bid to save Joel’s life), is a much bleaker, sadder story than The Last of Us, and it has a tragic ending.

Joel's conversation with Tommy feels important. I was very glad to hear Tommy say that he would have made the same choice, in terms of saving Ellie or letting her die for the possibility of a cure. It shows that Tommy is more like Joel than perhaps we knew. Plus, Maria will have taught him something about love and commitment, as the notion of saving the one you love above all else should make more sense to him now that he has foregone the youthful idealism of the Fireflies in order to focus on the practical wisdom of family. As a parent, I understand Joel’s decision to save Ellie at the end of The Last of Us and know I would have done the same. I also understand why Joel lied, even though I think it was the wrong choice. Hearing him confide all of this in Tommy was cathartic. It was also very characteristic of Joel to respond that Ellie “didn’t say nothing otherwise” when Tommy asks if she believed him. In all of his denial, Joel chooses to believe what is conveniently in front of him, even if he knows it’s untrue. Also, I couldn’t tell, but was that a Firefly logo on that guitar he’s shining up? Maybe I hallucinated that. But if it is, I do wonder where he got it.

Ellie’s character is much more deadpan and ruminative in young adulthood. She seems tired, and a little lacking in self-esteem and sort of immediately defeated by what happened during the experience with Joel. When Joel sang, we could see her return to that place, just a glimmer, and her response—that it “didn’t suck”—shows how she still shields her heart with sarcasm, something Dina points out to her later on (“Did I ruin your punchline?”). Joel has been broken down by the events of The Last of Us and now bears his soul to her with his music, unabashed and dedicated to her, and Ellie is now the stoic one, unshakable, sealed inside a heavy, protective armor that seems impossible to pierce. I look forward to getting to know Ellie as a young adult and, ultimately, crying a lot. She is artistic and honest and still a little soft underneath. You can tell by her early interactions with Dina especially that she can still blush, and she can still come undone.

I love the snowball fight lol. I am always so frustrated when these big environment games, like Red Dead 2, Dragon Age, etc., don’t have any kids running around. Why don’t these stories pay attention to kids? Kids exist. They are an important part of almost any open world or quasi open world environment. I love the presence of kids in The Last of Us 2, because the loss of childhood innocence is an important theme for Ellie as a character. It’s also clear we’re trying to set up the edenic innocence of Jackson. It is childhood, in a way, and just like childhood, it will come to inevitable corruption. The scene, too, reminded me of Ellie and Riley on their teen dream adventure, romping through the Halloween store at the mall, trying on masks and talking to the magic eight ball.

I’m really pleased by all the parallels with Left Behind and Ellie’s portion of the journey in The Last of Us. Winter was her season, and that’s where we’re starting now. The horseback riding, the blizzard, and all the blood in the snow bring flashbacks of Ellie hunting on the woods, Ellie alone in the frozen mall, David, and the Lakeside Resort, all of which layer the current moment with a lot of emotional tension for the player.

The opening is, I think, sprawling. I’m having fun but there’s this sense that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the story. Like Joel in the first game, Ellie is also big-timing me a little and I feel far away from her. I know this will change soon, and I’ll warm up to her, but for now, like Joel, we’re all being held at arm’s length. I actually like the POV shifts we’ve gotten so far and the multiple POVs is something I predicted a while ago, based on ND’s tendencies in the first game. Ppl are going to give The Last of Us 2 shit for being too cinematic but tbh it sometimes feels more like a playable novel than a traditional video game. We’re on a cable car headed straight into disaster and there’s nothing we can do. In this way the game is using the medium itself to perpetuate its Naturalistic themes. We play and we play, and we fight and we fight, but the environment entertains no interest in our struggle and the outcome will always be the same. There is no free will in The Last of Us.

On that note, the gameplay so far is, I think, pretty fun. I have played a lot of stealth games and am always looking for ways the genre is reinventing itself. Like Sekiro and Tomb Raider, The Last of Us 2 is increasing the verticality of the map with rope climbing and scaling up obstacles (though I do miss using Joel’s immense upper body strength to move those dumpsters around lol). In a stealth game I want creativity and problem solving to be central to the gameplay. I don’t want to be magically handed tools and weapons on a constant basis, to meet every individual need. I want to be forced into resourcefulness, and I don’t want to enter a shoot-out unless I absolutely have to. That said, I’m nearly to the tower checkpoint with Dina, and I’ve only fired my gun twice. The dodge/melee mechanic is neat, but more than anything, having real, actionable help from an AI enables stealth kills even in zones crawling with enemies. On that note, I am playing with a headset, and I’m glad I am, because I find the sounds of the goddam clickers to be all-encompassing this time around and a LOT bigger and scarier than they were in The Last of Us. Holy shit. They’re absolutely terrifying. I can only imagine the horror to come lol.

Now, finally, Abby: I don’t have much to offer on this yet. Abby is not who I thought she’d be. I’ll just say it. Still, the melee battle with her and the runners in the woods was AWESOME. For me, the most fun I’ve had yet, because it was completely different than anything from The Last of Us. Playing her, however, I will say, filled me with foreboding. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to help her. She seems beyond desperate and while deeply sympathetic, she is a new character and her loyalties are not mine...so far. I could be very wrong, and please don’t correct me if I am, but I get the sense she might be a Firefly, or somehow associated with Marlene, and she is looking for Joel, in vengeance. Her group was small and rogue, and they seemed new to the area. All I know is that ND is creating a moral dilemma here, and as to what will become of this, the jury is still out completely.

One small personal criticism, take it or leave it: I don’t personally love that the kiss with Dina and scene with Joel defending Ellie was kept off-stage in the game and left to the trailer. We could have started at the dance. That would have taught us everything we need to know about Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Joel and Ellie’s relationship state. This is my only criticism of the story so far. From a writer’s perspective, it’s just inefficient and clumsy to try and cover all that in expositional dialogue, taking into consideration that many casual players will not have seen all the trailers. Even still, it’s not hurting my experience in any way. Just an observation and maybe a bit of personal opinion on the fact that perhaps the choice to reveal so much scene in pre-release trailers might be a great way to build hype but might not be the most efficient choice in telling the actual story. My two cents!

In the end, I’m overall super excited and can’t wait to keep playing. These are just my own personal thoughts, and I’ll be back with more thoughts soon!! PLEASE NO SPOILERS OR SPOILERY SUGGESTIONS IN THE REPLIES!! I am NOT privy to the leaks and I do NOT want to know what’s coming. Thank you!! ^_^