#hang around. i think my dad wanted to see me grow up so badly that he did stick around but wasn’t able to interact properly

[fingertipsmp3]

I can’t explain it but I do feel like there’s ghosts and supernatural stuff going on. Obviously I have no proof but I 100% believe it

[roxygen22]

Still Here (Chapter 4)

Summary: Timothée invites you and Madison out to the lake.

A/N: This Timothée variant is so dad-coded that I'm falling in love with him myself.

Catch up on previous chapters here.

You spent the next few days helping your mother clean out and rearrange your old room to be livable once again instead of a dedicated craft space. You checked your phone constantly the first couple of days after your lunch with Timothée, but slowly resigned yourself to the fact that he may not reach out after all. You wouldn't blame him if he had changed his mind. The two of you hurt each other pretty badly all of those years ago and were practically strangers again thanks to time and distance.

On the fifth day, as you were perusing job ads in the local newspaper, you heard your phone ding. You stared at the device for a moment in disbelief. Was it going to be a message from him, or just another spam text that gets your hopes up? You flipped it over and spotted:

"Want to go out to the lake on Saturday?"

You bit your lip and grinned, hugging your phone to your chest. Finally.

"Sounds fun! Let me see if my parents are available to hang out with Maddy." "She's welcome, too."

Wow. You weren't used to that. Your "friends" in California weren't much on kids tagging along on your outings. It got to a point where you didn't go out much at all because getting a sitter was too expensive.

"Really? Thanks! I think she'd enjoy getting out of the house." "Of course. Let's meet at my place early around 7am so we can have some fun before it gets hot. Do you remember how to get here?" "As long as you are still on Hawk Road, I can manage ;)" "Yep. See you in a couple of days."

<><><><><>

Saturday morning finally arrived. It was hard to convince Madison to get out of bed, but with some persuasion (i.e. favorite breakfast) she was up and dressed relatively quickly. You went through your verbal checklist to ensure you had everything you both needed for day of fun in the sun:

"Phone charger, check, snacks, check, cooler of drinks, check, sunscreen, check, spare clothes, check. Alright, I think we have everything. Let's load up!" As expected, you were able to find Timothée's place with ease. He had a small house on the same land as his parents. You had spent enough time there as a teenager that you still knew the route like the back of your hand.

Timothée was already outside packing stuff into the bed of the truck when you arrived. He turned and waved as he heard your car make its way down the gravel driveway. Once you stopped, he walked up and opened the door for you. Another gesture you weren't used to anymore.

"Good morning!" You looked up at him from your car's seat and smiled. He hugged you once you stood.

"Morning, [Y/N]." He pulled back to look at your face, smiled again, then looked to the side as he spotted movement behind the car. "Hey, Madison!"

"Hey," she replied flatly as she walked up to the two of you. You pulled the girl into your side.

"Mornings aren't her favorite. She'll warm up eventually." You looked down to give her that "mind your manners" look.

"That's alright. I'm not a morning person either, unless I'm up for something fun. Like today!" Timothée said cheerily. That's when you noticed something connected to his truck.

You leaned around him and exclaimed, "You have a boat now?!"

He chuckled. "I did grow up a little bit while you were away, [Y/N]."

You laughed awkwardly, but then quickly froze when you realized, "Oh no, we don't have life jackets. I didn't know, so I didn't plan for..."

"Don't worry, I already thought through that. I had an extra adult one on hand and borrowed a kids' life jacket from the neighbors. By the way, they have some kids around Madison's age. I think their youngest may even be in the same grade in the fall. They want to meet you both."

"Oh, it would be so great if Madison could at least know one other kid when school starts up. Are they new in the area?"

"Relatively. They moved in about five years ago," he replied.

"Ah, I see. I have a lot of catching up to do," you noted. You looked down at your daughter and squeezed her shoulder, "And we have new friends to make."

"I may not even still be here when the new school year starts, remember?" Madison grumbled.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to have some friends around when you come visit your grandparents, though, right?" Timothée chimed in.

She shrugged. "I guess not."

"Right, well, back to the fun at hand. Before I saw the boat, I was going to offer that we all pile in my car since there is more space. We can just follow you over there instead," you stated.

"Nonsense. We can all fit in my truck. Here, let me put your things in the back." You opened the trunk and allowed him to transfer your bags and cooler.

As he walked away, you bent down to talk to Madison quietly. "His truck only has one row of seats. Are you okay with sitting in the middle between us?" Just because you had known Timothée most of your life didn't mean she would (or should) be automatically comfortable around him.

"Sure, I've never ridden in a truck like this before, or in a boat!" You could tell she was starting to perk up. She ran over when Timothée opened the heavy passenger door of the old blue truck and climbed inside eagerly. "Whoa, we're so high up compared to your car, Mom!"

Once you followed suit, Timothée shut the door and ran around the front to the driver seat to join you. "Alright, everyone buckled up?" he asked. You and Madison nodded. "Then let's go!"

As he drove, you pointed out some of the places from your childhood. This triggered some reminiscing on Timothée's part about some of the shenanigans the two of you got into, which made Madison giggle. She seemed to enjoy hearing about some of your irresponsible moments. Hearing her laugh again was like music to your ears. You looked over at the two of them as they laughed together. Even though it was at your expense, you couldn't help but smile. Maybe this is what it could have been like had you stayed, the two of you together with a child in between.

Your arrival at the lake interrupted your reverie. Soon the three of you were out on the water and heading for a cove Timothée liked to frequent. Madison sat at the front of the boat with you close behind. She was nervous at first, gripping the edge of the boat, but quickly loosened up. Her long blonde hair flowed behind her as she faced into the wind. She looked back at you with a grin and yelled, "It feels like I am flying!" You laughed and waved, then looked back at Timothée, who was watching the two of you with a soft smile...

...which quickly turned into a mischievous grin. "Watch this!" he shouted. Now out on open water, he opened the throttle on the motor. The nose of the boat raised out of the water with increased speed. This time, you were the one gripping the edge of your seat while your daughter screamed, "Woohoo!" with both hands in the air. You could hear Timothée laughing behind you.

Much to Madison's disappointment, Timothée had to slow down as you neared the cove. When you approached the shore, he turned the motor off and jumped out to drag the boat to the bank. The girl jumped from the boat to the sand. "That was awesome!" she exclaimed as she shucked her lifejacket.

Timothée offered his hand to help you down then grabbed the bags and cooler. "Glad you're enjoying yourself, kiddo. Now, can you help me find a spot to set up our stuff?" he asked.

Madison ran up a small hill and quickly spied a dry grassy space to lay out the blankets. "Over here!"

"That's perfect, Maddy." You laid out a blanket. "Why don't you sit here, take your shoes off, and put sunscreen on, then you can go wade around while I get everything else set up. But no swimming until one of us can join you."

Madison rolled her eyes. "Okayyyy..."

You raised an eyebrow. "Or I could make you sit here all by your lonesome while Timothée and I swim, if you're going to be like that."

"No, no, I'm good. Shallow water only." She gestured to cross her heart then ran back down the hill.

Timothée set the cooler down beside you. "I know it wasn't part of your plan years ago, but you're really good at that."

"What's that?" You gave him a questioning look.

"The whole mom thing. You seem to have a knack for when to give her space and freedom, and when to rein it in. Oof, and that eyebrow raise. Even I stopped in my tracks."

You laughed. "Oh just wait until I have to break out her middle name. That's when it's really serious, Timothée Hal Chalamet." He playfully shuddered. "But, uh, thanks. I feel like I fail at it all the time. Especially these last few months. Parenting is supposed to be a two person job, you know. Or more. Like they say, it takes a village." You dropped your head to prevent him from seeing the tears welling up in your eyes.

Timothée reached out to lift your chin. "I think you'll find a village here to help you, if you give them a chance." He brushed a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb.

Before you could respond, Madison interrupted with a squeal. He dropped his hand and cleared his throat as you quickly turned to investigate. "A fish touched my leg!"

You both chuckled. "I guess we better get down there," you said. You both undressed down to your swimwear and joined her. The three of you played and swam for hours. Once Timothée caught you by surprise by grabbing your waist, hoisting you out of the water, and throwing you back in. Madison giggled when you came back up spluttering, then asked to be thrown next.

This continued for several rotations until he was worn out. Both you and he needed a break. Madison was still going strong but was willing to come back into the shallows if it meant staying in the water.

Timothée sat beside you on the blanket as you dried yourself off. You could tell an idea dawned on him by the look on his face.

"Is it alright if I let her drive the boat around a little when we're back in open water? With help, of course?"

"Sure. That should be incentive enough to get her out of the water." You paused. "Thank you for today. I haven't seen her smile and laugh this much in months. It's all been so hard on her."

"Oh, think nothing of it. I come out here all the time to get away from life for a bit. Based on what you told me at lunch the other day, you hadn't had a chance to just stop and have some fun. I'm glad I could offer that."

"You...you're being so sweet to me."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, we never talked about the way we ended things. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't important to me."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have been happy for you. Instead I selfishly focused on what I was losing versus what you were gaining. After some time, when I was able to see past my own hurt and look at things more objectively, I realized how incredibly brave you were to pack up and chase your dreams," he replied.

"I didn't reach them, though," you said sadly.

"Yet. You still have time," he said matter of factly.

You scoffed. "I appreciate the vote of confidence, but life is too crazy right now to even think about finishing school."

"Well, just don't lose sight of it. K?" You nodded. "So shall we pack up and head back?" He stood and offered you his hand.

"All good things must come to an end, sadly," you replied, allowing him to help you stand. The two of you folded up the blankets and hauled the stuff back to the boat.

As you predicted, Madison whined when she saw what was going on. "I don't want to go yet!"

You smirked and looked over at Timothée. "I got this," he muttered to you under his breath. "Hey, kiddo, would you want to go if I let you drive the boat?"

"Really?!"

Timothée nodded. "Only when we get out in open water, but yes, I'll show you how to steer."

Madison looked at you with big puppy dog eyes. "Can I really drive it, Mom?"

"Hmm," you put your finger and thumb on your chin to look deep in thought. "I suppose so."

"Yes!" She jumped up and down and pumped her fist in the air.

"Now go get your shoes and lifejacket back on," you instructed. You all loaded up in the boat and set on your way. Madison was visibly vibrating with excitement as she sat beside Timothée next to the motor.

"Ready?" he asked once out of the cove. She nodded emphatically. "Alright, we're not going to go as fast as we did on our way out here, ok? Now, you have to face forward, but put your hand here on the handle behind you. Good. You will need to push or pull the handle in the direction you want to go. If you want to head right, push right. Left, pull left."

"Got it. Right is right, left is left."

"Ok. I am going to twist the handle to get us going again. You focus on where we're heading." She looked at him very seriously and nodded. Timothée slowly increased the speed. Madison looked nervous for a brief moment as she experimented with how far to push or pull to get the boat to move.

"You're already a pro!" Timothée shouted.

"Look Mom, I'm doing it!" She beamed. It was a beautiful sight. You pulled out your phone and took their picture. You made a mental note to send it to Timothée later.

Madison steered the boat almost the entire way back to the boat ramp, and then Timothée took over. After he expertly brought the boat to rest at the dock, you and Madison unloaded your belongings while he got the truck. After loading up and heading out, Madison fell asleep against your shoulder before you even got to the highway. You rested your cheek on her head, reveling in the closeness. She didn't come to you for cuddles like she used to.

The girl stayed asleep even once you arrived back at Timothée's house. He gently picked her up and carried her to your car.

"Thank you for your help," you said softly as you stood by the car door. "And thank you again for today."

"I enjoyed it. Hopefully we can do it again sometime this summer."

"I'd like that, and I think it's safe to say she would, too." You grabbed the door handle and turned. "Hey, uh, want to grab dinner sometime this week?"

Timothée smiled. "Yes."

<><><><><>

Chapter 5

Masterlist

Tag List:

@croatianprincess

@bluizh

[nqn]

what are your building blocks Kyle headcanons?

YES YES oh i'm in love with him hangg on - some of this also rings true with our normal kyle so if you see overlap later that's why!! :3 also sorry for so much stan mentioning, these two ARE sort of sewn at the hip.

stan thinks that he's tying kyle down, keeping him from his dreams or whatever- but honestly, kyle finds helping him out really good for him? he's looking into doing psychological work in the future, and stan's the inspiration for that!

his dad wasn't a fan of that choice! he, obviously, wanted kyle to follow his footsteps- but um. after the whole... troll debacle.. kyle has decided that he's never doing anything his dad wants again. as much as he can, at least.

he's bi & has a preference for masc people! obviously, this doesn't mean he hasn't interacted with more feminine people. he's got a type though! he hasn't ever had a longterm relationship, but has had a lot of quick one-offs that last for a week or two at most; though very few have ended like.. badly? he's friends with everyone still, just... not romantic.

he's in love with stan. he cannot act on this. he knows neither of them would be healthy romantically right now. ( stan's in love with him too, but he's... a lot more obvious about it. kyle pretends that the drunk texts, quiet moments, and reddened faces magically didn't happen. he has to be the responsible one right now. )

he shaves whenever his beard gets annoying- just gets rid of the whole thing and deals with stubble over and over again. it grows fast, but he isn't interested in having a full beard right now- or ever, maybe. (well...... i won't tell him if you won't)

he's hypersexual! this isn't smth that most would really know, but his friends know because it's something that he gets really frustrated about because it distracts him n messes up opportunities for him sometimes;;

in general, he really really reALLY FUCKING HATES his struggles with control at all. he has days where he's keyed up and pissed off for seemingly no reason, and it really beats the shit out of him.

i don't think he actually gives that much of a shit about fashion, but his parents do- that's why he's like.. the most well dressed of the group. especially if they have to wear formalwear for anything- kyle's the only one in a properly fitted three piece.

he likes pockets! he likes having them- even if he's not storing stuff, he just likes knowing he can carry things around. this often results in him and stan carrying shit for each other- sometimes eric and kenny if they ask- and kyle getting home and texting stan like "hey shit you left your emergency inhaler in my pants? do i need to come over" (no, stan has multiple, kyle just worries.)

he's got a really healthy relationship with ike! as much as he has moments of 'god i have no fucking clue what you just said to me, PLEASE speak english and not leetspeak,' they tend to dedicate a slot between homework and sleep on certain weekdays for hanging out on the couch and mooching off their dad's youtube premium plan to watch shit together! or they'll sit in either ike or kyle's rooms, and chat about stuff. ike's still super smart, he always has been, so honestly they probably have really longwinded conversations about Smart People Shit. they also have just as many conversations when ike is laying on his back holding his ratty old dog plushie up above his head bitching about whatever dramas are going on in his friend group, and kyle's just nodding solemnly sitting on the floor like dude i get it. i understand so much. (i'm picturing a loose schedule like.. monday and wednesday being hangout days, and then occasionally saturdays if stan comes over, because stan also loves hanging out with ike! thats his little brother too!)

he used to be Really Fucking Mad at eric all the time, but he's really mellowed out lately and the antics have morphed more into general like... rolling his eyes and sighing. but he's not (usually) chomping at the bit to kick his skull in anymore. sometimes eric does shit that irks him but he's become pretty used to most things.

kenny is obvs the glue of the group, so kyle is really close to them! ken teases about his and stans mutual love, and about how if they dont act soon, kenny's gonna take one of them. neither of them take that seriously- and the k's normally spend their time high and hanging out. (don't ask what theyre taking. its fine.)

he's not as close with butters as the others, but would still do a lot for him. he just... butters is harder to pin down, emotionally? he doesn't know when either of htem will do something to set each other off- and they've had a couple really bad screaming matches because they both have a loud fight response sometimes. he doesn't dislike butters, they are friends! he's just wary.

outside of the main group; he's close with others, primarily like.. tolkien and wendy.

[organchordsandlightning]

shit okay so i've finished the lighthouse series finally and i love your characterisation of faroe in it so deeply. wanted to ask - thoughts on what a teenaged faroe would be like? having to interact with normal people and realising how fucking weird her family is, and whatever she remembers of her childhood. she's such a delight and she's such a menace. i wanna know what she'd be like when she's a little older

ohhh, i’m glad you enjoyed and you have absolutely activated my ‘can’t shut up’ trap card! teenage faroe HCs under cut

so I think my big HC for teenage faroe is that she gets really into painting as her preferred mode of art. I like to think arthur did teach her piano, and she likes it well enough, but it didn’t have the same emotional attachment arthur had for it. 

nobody can say exactly why this comes about, but john almost reverently describing every piece of art she made as a toddler/child to arthur probably had something to do with it. i also like to think that faroe’s brief time in the Dark World, and especially under the influence of Arthur-Wearing-John’s-Old-Yellow-Robe, has affected her, just a bit - just in that her dreams are a little more vivid, a little more memorable, and little more Out There (leading to John having a small breakdown one day when teenage faroe draws a stunningly good representation of Carcosa, right down to the throne room). she prefers landscapes in general, but the family portrait hanging in arthur and john’s house was definitely painted by Faroe for Arthur’s birthday.

as for personality! I think Faroe is definitely a ‘see an injured baby bird, bring it home’ type of person - and she definitely keeps the curiosity that she inherited from her father. while it was less worrying when she rarely went anywhere without holding onto someone hand, it definitely became more worrying when the adults stopped walking her to school every day. I really love the idea of Faroe’s investigative spirit starting with ‘I’m going to crack the case of The Missing Cookie so I can be a detective just like Daddy’ to ‘ope Faroe’s coming home close to midnight because she was helping a classmate look for a lost cat’. with three detectives in her immediate family, it’s never that hard to find her in Arkham, but doesn’t stop Arthur and John especially from being scared to death. they taught Faroe occult symbols at a pretty young age and Faroe always understood that that was the one thing they would not let her fuck around with. 

(I was also so close to including the idea that Arthur gets a seeing eye dog when Faroe is still a child, who Faroe names Goldie. Faroe takes to Goldie so much that they get a second dog just for her [’sweetie, I know you’re having fun playing with Goldie but Goldie has to work now’] - a little white Westie named Bones. this is 100% the adorable animal mascot Faroe investigates with.)

relatedly, I think everyone struggled a lot with Faroe’s growing independence, especially with how close her family is. like, I don’t think Faroe ever had a rebellious phase per se (that is, she was never like ‘fuck you dad I don’t play by your rules’), but she definitely leaned more into ... ‘I Know This Is The Right Thing To Do Why Are You Telling Me I Can’t Do This Because I’m A Child’, which is a lot more frustrating all around.

(still, parker remembers the last time he was called ‘Uncle Bark’ and shifted to only ‘Uncle Parker’ [except when she’s scared or upset].)

i think Faroe might have had a brief period where she became acutely aware (in the way that teenagers are) that her home life is Not The Norm (i used to joke that Faroe, as a child, would say ‘sometimes I stay with Daddy and Mr. John, who kiss, and sometimes I stay with Mama and Uncle Bark, who don’t’). while I don’t think that she ever got badly teased about it [everyone likes Bella, the lady who makes all the costumes for school plays, and everyone likes Mr. Yang, the guy who cheers all the kids on at the baseball game, and everyone is moderately lukewarm on Mr.s Lester and Doe who look kind of pissy but generally mean well], I think the first time Faroe tried to underplay her home situation (maybe she implied Bella and Arthur were married, maybe she pretended like Mr. John wasn’t her dad, per se), John -- unable to hide the emotions on his face  -- looked so fucking sad that even Faroe, at 14 years old, was like awwwwwww shit I can’t do that again. Overall though, I do think Faroe borders on being pretty popular among her class. She’s involved in a lot of stuff, Bella handmakes her clothes, and more than a few students in the school have had their family’s cases solved by the Lester/Doe/Yang partnership.

 as for what Faroe remembers, I would think (other than her dreams)  she doesn’t remember much of her time in the Dark World, or being dead. She doesn’t like swimming much, but that’s more along the lines of Arthur being too anxious to teach her as a child, and thus Faroe learning a little later in life. She remembers a happy home - though the duos lived separately, she remembers them being together so often that it seemed like they all lived together.  If she had an emotional problem, she’s more inclined to go to her mother (who sometimes talks to her as if she’s a fellow classmate, and not her daughter) or Mr. John (who seems to get things in ways that Parker and Arthur can’t). If she needs something done, it’s Parker (who seems to know every person in Arkham) or her father (who would move heaven and earth for her, in a way that makes Faroe a liiiiiiiitttle scared to ever have kids. Arthur, god bless, is a little intense).

however, I do think the truth comes out around the time when Faroe is a teenager. Faroe was aware for a while of things not seeming right: her father’s acutely visible scars and bright amber eyes, for one thing. Still, I think they didn’t want to tell her as a child, and she was easily enough distracted from any questions whenever she asked.

It’s only when she becomes a teenager that it starts to become unavoidable. For one thing, she finds Parker Yang’s obituary in a newspaper at the library. She reads the term ‘John Doe’ in a book and, uh-oh, that seems a little weird. And, um. What are all these ‘Police Searching For Arthur Lester, supposed murderer of Parker Yang’ news clippings in the library? And, hang on, if her mother is fifteen years younger than Arthur, then why do they have so many stories of growing up together?

and I think, at some point, they sit her down and tell her all of it. Not the nitty gritty details, not how Arthur got all his scars, but enough for Faroe to realize that most of her family - including herself - was dead, at one point. Enough for Faroe to realize that, oops, one of her dads used to be a god, and maybe her dreams aren’t just dreams.

and of course it’s a lot to take in, and there’s a couple of weeks where Faroe’s basically sleepwalking through life, but her family helps her through it. I think at the end of the day, the thing that helps her most is the thing that her Uncle Parker told her (and the same thing Parker told Arthur, way back when Arthur lost his memory): that no matter how the story went, she was safe and loved, and she had a lot of people making sure she always would be.

thanks for asking!

[luminescentwind]

1278.

Again with the ups and downs that have become so common lately. I felt last year was much more stable, even if it also was duller and in some specific ways, less fulfilling. I need to break down all the thoughts scrambled up in my head and try and sort them into some kind of order. Let's see. I'll begin with the easiest topic.

I feel pretty fulfilled when it comes to my job. I enjoy teaching, and more than anything else I love being there for my students and helping them grow and overcome whatever difficulties they may be facing, be them English-related or personal. I feel a spark of joy when I can tell I'm actually helping someone else feel a bit better. There are administrative tasks that I find boring, but those are simply a part of life. Then there's the self-marketing, an area that I really need to improve, since I don't want to work at schools. I'm feeling up to the challenge of seeing how far I can grow career-wise, and I know it'll involve an active effort on my part, but I think I'm ready for that. I'm capable and hard-working, so I should definitely be up to the challenge.

Now, the difficult topic: social relationships, and how I seem to link how well they go with my self-worth. I have to make the disclaimer that today was a rainy day, and over time I've become more and more aware of how badly this can affect my mood. Having said that, here goes the real issue. Even though I can be quite confident about my intelligence and occasional wits, and even though I consider myself eager to make the most of out each experience, I seem to think that others will perceive me as weird or simply regard me as an afterthought. I think I've struggled with being the second-option-friend, never the one you go to first when you want to share a moment, and definitely not the first you call when you want to hang out. I know this might be a flawed, subjective perspective but I keep seeing this year after year and I think it follows that at some point it's going to affect how I see the world. One obvious solution is to be the one to make the call and strike up the conversation, to be the one to suggest hanging out. But wouldn't one feel tired of doing that and accumulating rejections over time? That's not always the result though, obviously, but I feel tired and ashamed of being the one suggesting things only to see my message waiting there for what seems to be an eternity. It only gets worse when you see the person uploading stories or leaving comments on forums or whatever. But I have been on the other side, I have also been the one to ignore others, albeit for the most part I've done that after stating, in the most polite way possible, that I had no interest in pursuing a relationship with that person, only to have them write again and again. Still, this might be my karma, I suppose.

There's also the fact that the mood at home hasn't been the best lately. My grandma's still in a nursing home and my parents, uncle and aunt are having a lot of trouble because of it, and it doesn't help having learnt that my grandma was an awful mother to her children, as well as a terrible wife to her husband. How can you even pretend to care for such a person, beyond checking that she's got her basic needs covered? Besides, there's a money issue as well. My family simply doesn't have the money to keep her in these nursing homes she's been to, and if they don't find one covered by her health insurance, things may get even worse. My therapist said this isn't my responsibility and that I shouldn't let it affect me, but when dad's yelling around the house and when mum's dealing with the stress of solving the things my dad and my uncle can't solve, the air at home feels infected, poisoned.

One other thing is that, since it was raining today, I didn't go to the Cube of Truth thinking it'd be canceled, but it wasn't. There's a little corner to hide under the rain so they placed the screens and the batteries there. And I didn't go. In all honesty I was convinced it wasn't going to be done, as it has happened once or twice with this weather. Now I feel irresponsible and a bit like an idiot. Seems to be the usual feeling lately.

So, what to do with all of this? Breaking it down into smaller parts helps a bit. Also, writing helps me let it out of my system. I decided to have an Instagram break, by the way. One week. I need one week without knowing anything of what's going on outside of my immediate reality. I feel I should do the same for Discord but honestly I feel I still need to see if I get a response from someone. I feel I've been treated as an afterthought and I want to make it clear that I cannot stand that, at risk of sounding extremely irrational and moody. So be it.

One more thing is that while I do want to set some limits, and while I do feel others don't value me as much as I'd like to, this is all my own problem. I shouldn't put the blame on others or ever make them feel guilty. I need to solve my own issues with empathy and compassion. Beginning with myself should be the first step.

[bunnypopgal]

Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

[izzy-b-hands]

"We don't need a map," Alma rolls her eyes. "We take the bus to the museum, see the stuff there, then take the same one home!"

"But Mum-"

"Mum said I'm in charge while she takes Doug to hospital, and we were supposed to go to the museum today anyway. Don't you still want to go?"

Louis frowns, but nods and walks after her.

--

"Oh ew," Stede grimaces and holds out his phone to Ed.

"Whoa," Ed peers closer. "What is it?"

"Doug's finger."

"Oh god...well, Mary has said he's very enthusiastic-"

"Edward! He was chopping up vegetables."

Ed raises a brow. "Is that what the kids call it now?"

"We need to go; the kids are at their place alone right now," Stede says, waving down their waiter. "I'm sure they'll be fine, but-"

"So what was he chopping to fuck himself up that badly?"

"Does it really matter?!"

"Kinda."

"...cucumber."

"Ha! Knew it."

--

"Alma-"

"If you want to do big kid things, then you can't be a baby about it. Are you going to keep being a baby?"

She holds his hand and drags him through the crowd by the bus stop. "See? We're already at the bus!"

He doesn't want to be a baby, but also, their mum has never once said they were allowed to go on the bus alone, or to walk any further than down the block to see friends that lived there.

He holds her hand tighter.

--

"We brought fancy desser-" Ed stops. "Kids? "

"Maybe they're in the backyard," Stede says. "Probably horribly traumatised by seeing that bloodbath."

Ed motions to the two plastic cartoon character covered plates on the table. "Plates are cleaned."

"Well, let's get to looking anyway."

The yard is empty. Their rooms, empty. The entire house, empty.

"Take a breath," Ed sets the styrofoam container with the cheesecake bites into the fridge. "Stede."

But he's in a thousand yard staring contest with the empty plates. He'll own, now at least, that he's been far from the best father.

He's been trying to do better though, and you can't do better if your kids are lost or dead or kidnapped or-

"Okay," Ed gently pushes him towards the door. "We're gonna go walk around and see if they're running around playing with their friends. I bet they are! Then we'll come back and have cheesecake."

--

"I don't have enough money for snacks," Alma sighs. "We just ate lunch!"

"Mum says I'm growing and need-"

"Oh my god, she just says that so you'll eat your vegetables!"

Louis blinks. He'd never thought of that, and he certainly won't forget it now.

"Okay. I'm sorry I asked."

Alma wraps an arm around his shoulder. "Look, we're almost to the museum. Sometimes they have exhibits about foods from other places with samples, maybe there'll be one there today."

He leans into her and tries to watch the cars passing by on the other side of the street, hoping one might be Mum and Doug.

--

"Stede," Ed says, hands on his shoulders. "Look at me."

He's already been sick in the gutter, after the last house that had the same answer as the rest: no, they haven't seen the kids all day.

"It's fine. Kids get adventurous!"

"There's a huge main road close; they probably tried to cross it," Stede fumbles for his phone. "They put out alerts if they find hurt kids, right? Or missing kids?"

"Alma has her cheap phone for emergencies," Ed says. "Call her, and I bet they just went another block over or two. A little bit of rebellion since they got a surprise moment of freedom!"

--

"Hey Dad," Alma says into the chunky, slightly out of date flip phone. "We're just hanging out waiting for Mum and Doug to get back."

"I wanna hear!" Louis snags the phone from her hand and runs to an open bench in the museum lobby. "Dad? We need help-"

"No we don't!" Alma plucks the phone away. "He's scared for Doug, that's all."

"It's loud and I'm scared and we're at the mu-"

"Shut up!"

The phone snaps shut, and they both shut up.

"You hung up on him," Louis says. "You're gonna be in so much trouble!"

"I'll call him back and say it was an accident. Now, I think we should start with the dinosaurs..."

--

"You can go faster on this road," Stede snaps.

"Hey," Ed flashes him a look before turning back to the road. "I'm worried about them too, but that's not fucking necessary."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Look, you said it sounded busy, and Louis shouted out that it was loud. Middle of the day like this, there's a few spots that might be more likely than others."

"The mall isn't far."

"I don't think kids hang out at the mall much anymore. Not at their ages, that's for sure."

Stede frowns. "Right. The library is a bit far for them, but it wouldn't be that noisy."

"Well, we'll just drive around until we find them then."

--

"He's not answering," Alma says softly. "He almost always picks up."

"Maybe he figured we were okay after you hung up on him."

"Stop saying that!"

Louis shrugs. "You did. Do you think if giant sloths were still real you could ride them?"

"What?!"

"Like, instead of riding the bus-"

"Dad isn't answering, and this is what you're worried about?!"

He shrugs again, and sneaks another bit of popcorn from the box of the kid standing next to them.

She wanted to go to the museum, and they're at the museum, and he's trying to have fun even!

There's simply no pleasing a sister.

--

"Museum is the last place that might be that loud," Stede sighs. "There's no school today so I'm sure everyone is out there with their kids."

"That's not so bad," Ed signals to turn, and reroutes them towards the museum. "It's farther away than ideal, but if they're there, they did it safely."

"I'm...I have a lot of thoughts right now, about that. Not all of them that happy."

"Fair enough. They also really shouldn't have left like that without at least telling us-"

Stede chuckles. "I forget you and Izzy used to run rampant as kids."

"And we survived! We're fine!"

"You've both been in therapy on and off for issues with your families for the last two years."

Ed smirks. "And now we're fine! More fine than we were before!"

"Oh my god-"

"Got you to smile a little!"

--

"Louis, stay here!"

Alma looks ready to cry.

"I'm not going anywhere," he grabs her hand and pats it. "It's okay. Dad will answer again. Maybe someone else called him and he can't get off the phone yet."

She drops onto the marble and bench and sobs. "Louis, he's mad at me."

"You don't know that."

"Then why won't he answer?!"

He sits beside her and hugs her. "I don't know. When does the bus to go home leave?"

"I don't remember."

"Oh."

--

"Let's take a minute before we go in," Ed snags Stede's arm. "Deep breath. They're just kids. Kids fuck up and do stupid, absolutely terrifying shit. But they don't mean anything malicious by doing it."

"I know," Stede nods, but his eyes are scanning over the crowds milling in and out of the museum. "But they need to know that this was dangerous."

"And we can tell them that without flipping the fuck out."

"Your therapist is too damn good sometimes."

Ed smiles. "I know, right? It's almost irritating."

"It is."

--

"I'm gonna go find a security guard," Louis says. "Or an adult like the lady at the front desk. They'll get us home or call Mum."

"That's not better!"

Louis sighs and sits back down by Alma, patting her back again. "They're gonna be mad. We can't do anything about that now. But we got to see the dinosaurs, and I got popcorn, and you got to see your favourite dress in the old clothes part, right?"

She sniffles and nods.

"Then we had fun, like you said we would. And it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't got us here."

"Yeah."

"Want me to stay here?"

"Yeah."

--

"Like me except smaller!" Stede stresses to the increasingly befuddled security guard. "They didn't have an adult with them; aren't you supposed to be looking out for things like that?!"

"Sir-"

"He's worried; I'm sorry," Ed smiles and quickly but gently tugs Stede away. "Hey. Let's just look ourselves. They're probably still here, looking at stuff themselves."

"You're right," Stede nods. "Okay. Let's-"

He turns to lead the way, only to let out a grunt as Alma runs directly into him, head into his gut.

"I didn't mean to hang up on you!"

Ed kneels down for Louis. "Hey! Everything okay?"

"Kinda. Alma did a good job getting us here, but we couldn't remember when the bus would leave to take us back."

He scoops Louis up. "That's not bad for kids your age!"

Stede groans and lifts Alma up. "You're almost too big for this, you know?"

She wraps her arms tighter around his neck.

"Not yet she isn't, thankfully," Ed remarks, and leans behind Stede's shoulder to try and see her face. "Hey kid. You did okay."

"We should have stayed home," is the sobbed response.

"Probably, but now you know for next time," he continues. "Wait and ask one of us, or Mum or Doug instead before heading out on your own, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well then," Stede sighs. "Let's work on the story. To explain the tears, maybe you stubbed your toe outside?"

"Babe, we asked all the neighbours where they were," Ed murmurs. "Can't lie to Mary and Doug about this anyway, you know that."

"Right. We'll plan how to tell them about it instead, over those cheesecake things-"

Alma's head pops up slightly. "You brought us cheesecake?"

"Not here, but at the house," Stede continues. "Should we get you two home?"

"Yes please."

"And it's okay, by the way. My phone battery died on the way here, so you couldn't have called me back anyway, sweetheart."

They both snicker lovingly at the frustrated "Oh my god!" from her.

[i-hope-youre-hopeful]

From August 17th, 2022

Let’s try to organize some thoughts

So I felt like I was doing wrong by talking to Hunter, so I said no, so I felt miserable, so I said yes, so I feel guilty. So it goes. I think Sydney is right, that if this was right it would be easier. But I also think I put too much stock in the “right one” versus the “wrong ones.” There is probably not one specific person out there destined for me, and I need to stop panicking that I’ve found the wrong one. This is okay. It’s not perfect and you’re not perfect but that’s okay. You are going to do your best. The goal is just a successful relationship. Any relationship is successful as long as it is either healthy and beneficial for both parties, or if it is ended as peaceably as possible and you grow from it. What’s wrong?

He’s not a Christian.

He’s really young.

He smokes.

He doesn’t always have my humor.

I’ve seen too much too soon.

I feel like I need to hide.

Do I have time for a boy?

Okay. I need to be clear that I’m not commuting to anything. I am seeing how this turns out. I am going on a date and we will talk and discuss. I feel most comfortable when things are pragmatically and methodically discussed. So we will have some discussions. I need to be clear that my hope is that someday I will marry someone who is a Christian. I am willing to try this out and see if this would work, but also I would like to have more talks about religion. I need to figure out and set very clear boundaries. I am not your girlfriend just yet. I don’t like PDA. Maybe take hanging out just like, a tiny step back. Like. Keep your pants on bro. We are interviewing each other. I don’t want my friends to be weird about anything, just be normal. I am scared and I feel dreadful a great deal of the time.

Maybe come to church with me sometime. Do some reading. Some researching. He’s mature for his age, genuinely. He’s good at communication and he’s very sensitive to others. I don’t care if you vape bro just maybe don’t smoke around my family/church/etc. be respectful. Time will tell on the humor. He’s only really made me laugh a handful of times, but every time I’ve seen him I’ve been rather distressed. That may change. He needs to understand my priorities are my job, then school, then family, then him, then friends. I will do my best but if that doesn’t end up being enough for him then that’s okay. I need to be methodical and know exactly what I want and what my goal is. What he wants and what his goal is.

I fluctuate wildly between wanting this to be over and wanting it to never end. I feel fear and guilt and excitement and happiness. Right now I’m calm and happy. Catch me in the morning, it’ll be different. He’s so gentle and caring. He wants to love and be loved so badly. He’s considerate and patient and communicative. He’s optimistic and easygoing. I’ve seen him laugh and I’ve seen him cry. He is learning rapidly and constantly adapting and mimicking behaviors. He fits in well with my friends. He is kind. I don’t even know him all that well and I knew without question that he would get up if he knew Hannah wanted to sit down. I was right. He is a golden retriever boy. He is eager to please and just happy to be here. He loves his mother and sister and spends time with them.

My head hurts. I’m tired.

Jesus, show me how to navigate. I feel scared and bad. Show me how to do what’s best. Give my family and I good peace and good rest and help us have good dreams and let tomorrow be as good as possible. Please help my mom feel better quickly and please don’t let me or my dad get sick. Keep us all otherwise healthy and safe. Please give me strength. Please help me manage my time well and do right by myself and do right by my family and friends. Help me not to burn out. Just help me. Hold my hand and guide me. Thank you. I’m so sorry. I love you.

[agent-whiskeys-sweetheart]

Pleasantly Surprised

Pairing: DILF!Frank Castle x Reader

Summary: Frank Castle is an old family friend you’ve known your whole life. After your parents invite him to stay with your family for the summer, you are forced to face your feelings for him.

Warnings: SMUT, age gap, taboo subjects mentioned, grinding, cunnilingus, overstimulation (dubious consent), unprotected sex, penetration, dirty talk, light degradation, one (1) ass smack, creampie

The sun shone through your open window, a breeze catching your hair as it blew into your room. Resting your head in one hand, you watched the outside world. You grew jealous of your parents who were sitting in their bathing suits on the deck with glasses of wine in hand. You wanted to be out there with them enjoying the day but you knew that you needed to be getting some work done. There were assignments that you had to finish before classes started in the fall and as much as you hated it you knew that you’d rather get it done now so you can relax the rest of the summer. As you stare out the window you realize that Frank is nowhere to be found. 

Frank Castle was an old family friend that you had known practically your whole life. You had been best friends with his daughter for most of your life as well. When you both went off to different colleges you started seeing a lot less of each other and you grew apart. However you still kept in contact with her dad. He was always over hanging out with your parents. This summer they had invited him to spend a few weeks with you guys at your lake house. Ever since you’d gotten there the two of you ended up spending a lot of time together. Playing games, swimming, reading together, going on walks. One of your favorite moments is when he would pull out his guitar and play while you sang a song for him. Sitting close, watching his fingers.

You would be lying if you said that Frank Castle wasn't one of the most handsome men you'd ever seen. The feelings started to develop when you went to college. When you came back home to visit he always wanted to see you, asking how you'd been and how school was going. He wanted to stay a part of your life and you wanted him to as well. However you knew it was wrong to want to be with him. Not even considering the age difference, he was one of your family's oldest friends. He had seen you grow up. It would be wrong of you to want to be with him. So why did you want it so badly?

As thoughts of Frank continued to swirl in your head there was a knock at your door. You turned around quickly to see him standing in the doorway. You couldn't contain the smile that painted your face, very promptly abandoning your work at the sight of him.

"Speak of the devil." You began and he chuckled.

"What, are you thinking about me?"

"I was just curious where you'd wandered off to."

"Well here I am sweetheart." The term of endearment made you melt.

"Why aren't you out there with my parents?"

"All that aimless lounging ... I got bored," As he began to speak he moved into your room towards where you sat at your desk. "Although I suppose I could ask you the same question. It's a beautiful day outside. Why are you sitting in here working?"

"I've got homework to finish first," As you watched his eyebrow raise you cut him off just before he could make a snarky comment. "It's just a few reading assignments for classes in the fall. Nothing crazy."

"If it's keeping you locked away, I consider it crazy." This makes you laugh as you turn to the desk. The sound of his shoes against the hardwood floor made you shudder in anticipation. Soon you could feel his body just behind you, nearly touching your shoulder.

"Let's see this supposed homework you're doing." Leaning down, his face was hovering right beside yours as you flipped through the pages of the book reports you'd been working on. It was all you could do not to turn your face to look at him so you were mere inches away. However you maintained your composure until he moved back a few steps. "Nope. Nope. Sorry sweetheart but I won't allow it."

"What?"

"I won't allow you to sit in your room on a gorgeous day and do homework. We're going out."

"Frank, I can't just--"

"Sure you can. At least get out and take a walk with me for a while. You can do your homework later." As much as you wanted to hesitate, as soon as he made the offer you accepted.

With your approval he shuffled your papers into a drawer and escorted you outside. As soon as you did the warmth filled your body in the most delicious way. You let out a deep sigh you'd been resisting for a while now. You could see your parents on the other side of the deck. Upon hearing the door shut they both turned and waved, a lazy smile on both their faces. You waved back and Frank's hand found the small of your back, causing you to follow where he led you quite happily. Once you were both out of the view of your parents he offered his arm to you, which caused you to blush. You took his arm sweetly, letting him escort you to your special place.

There was a pathway that led through the forest, shaded by trees. You were the only people who knew this place existed. As the shade of the trees cooled patches of your skin, you relaxed into his side. At the end of the path there was a curve to the right. At the bottom of the curve was a big flat rock on the edge of the lake where you both liked to talk for hours. Now the rock had a blanket and a small picnic basket on top of it, shaded over by more trees from the path.

"Frank, what is this?"

"Well, I could see you've been stressed with work and such. I know college life is hard. I just wanted to treat you a little bit. Is it okay?"

"More than okay. This is really lovely. Thank you." You lean forward on your tippy toes and peck his cheek sweetly before he helps you onto the blanket where you both sit down. He starts pulling out some of your favorite snacks and arranging them on the blanket for you. You pick up a bag of cookies and start eating as you recline back, watching the water move. Frank also grabbed a snack, mimicking your movements until his hand was only inches away from yours. 

“So, interrupting my homework, convincing me to come out here ... you had it all planned out?” 

“What can I say? I wanted to surprise you. And it worked.”

“Yeah, I guess it did.” You blushed as you thought about his sweet gesture. Thoughts began swirling in your head that maybe this meant more. Maybe this wasn’t just a friendly little hang out. Maybe all of those little hints and clues you’d picked up over these past few years weren’t all in your head. Before you could dream much further you stopped yourself, not wanting to go too far. 

Soon you and Frank were laughing with one another as he told you some ridiculous story. The way he threw his head back as he laughed alongside you made it impossible to stop smiling. Things continued on like that for what felt like hours. You just sat and talked about anything and everything. You told him about school and your fears and hopes and dreams and ambitions. And he told you his. What he wanted his life to be like now that his daughter was out of the house. You were beginning to see a side of him that was seemingly brand new to you. It was all you could do not to kiss him right then and there. After a while he stopped talking and got up off the blanket. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Hang on. I’ve got another surprise.” With that he disappeared behind a bush and when he came back he had his guitar. 

“You brought your guitar!” You exclaimed, excited about the prospect of getting to sing with him. He nodded eagerly, sitting back down beside you as he settled his guitar in his lap. 

“Yeah. I thought you might like to have an intimate little jam sesh. Just the two of us.” That word, intimate, made you swallow hard. 

“I would really like that.” He smiled over at you, your eyes staying locked for the briefest of moments before he looked down and started plucking out some chords. You immediately recognized your favorite song. He had learned to play it just for you. Clearing your throat, you began to sing as he played. With the water babbling behind you, it sounded like an angel’s chorus. Soon it was done, almost as quickly as it had started. You wanted the moment to last. 

“Let’s do another.” Frank happily obliged again and again as you continued to request music for him to play, singing alongside him. Unsure of when, you realized that at some point your hand had found a place on his knee. However he made no effort to move it and you weren’t going to do so either. After a while of playing Frank finally put down the guitar, stretching where he sat. 

“Well, work calls I suppose. Hope you had some fun though.” 

“Definitely. It was the best date I’ve had in a long time.” As soon as the sentence is out of your mouth you both freeze, eyes locked. Your brain starts scrambling for excuses, apologies, something to clear the air but you don’t say anything. It is Frank who breaks the silence. 

“Date? You think this is a date?” 

“Well, maybe not so much I thought it was a date as ... I was hoping it was a date. I wanted it to be a date. Is that awful of me?” 

“No. No, it’s not awful of you,” You want to crawl under a rock and hide forever. How could you let that slip out? Now, you’ll never stand a chance with him. How could you say something so stupid? “I was kind of hoping it was a date too.” This stops your brain in its tracks. 

“You were? Really?” 

“Yeah. Look, just let me explain. I know its wrong. I know I shouldn’t think about you like that. I’ve known you since you were a little kid. You have been best friends with my daughter for most of your life. I shouldn’t think of you romantically or ... any kind of way. But it just kind of happened. I looked at you one day and I wanted more than calling you ‘kiddo’ and roughing up your hair and only seeing you when you’re home from school. I wanted more than all that. I know its selfish and crazy. I’m sorry. Please just don’t freak out.” 

Little did he know that you were freaking out but for a much different reason. You wanted to explode with excitement and embarrassment and fear and joy all at the same time. Frank liked you. The way that you liked Frank. It was almost too good to be true. You searched your brain for the words and nothing came to mind. There was only one thing in your brain and you didn’t have the willpower to stop it.

“Y/N--” Before he could finish you leapt up from your seat until your lips found his, kissing him deeply. After a moment you pulled away and both of you were frozen again. You were suddenly very aware of what you’d just done and you became scared that you had done the wrong thing. Soon enough Frank put your mind at ease by pulling you in for another. And another. The two of you met each kiss with so much joy and passion. Each kiss felt better than the last as the situation finally became real to you. You were kissing Frank Castle. He liked you and you were kissing. It was a dream come true. 

“I really like you Frank. Like a lot. I want more than all of that stuff too. I want to be with you. I know it’s not exactly the most ethical thing but I think we can make it work. I just want you.” You finally spit it all out, bolstered with courage by your shared kisses. 

“I want you too Y/N. I want ... all of you.” You suddenly realized that both of you were tip toeing around the same sentence that neither of you could say out loud. You knew that you wanted it more than anything and you were sure he wanted it too. It just took the courage to say the words. With a deep breath you scooted closer and picked his hand up in yours, feeling the warmth of his body on your own.

“Frank ... I’ve waited a long time for this. I don’t wanna wait anymore,” Frank clung on every word. “Will you touch me?” At first the man seemed frozen again and it renewed your nerves but soon enough he had snapped out of it and his hand found your waist. 

“Yes. Yes, I want that too. I want to make you feel good.” As soon as you were both on the same page Frank took the picnic basket and threw it in a nearby bush so that you had plenty of room to move on the blanket. Once the way was clear he moved back towards you, hands on your waist and the side of your neck as he kissed you again, more passionately this time. Positioned up on his knees, he bent down to meet your kiss as he hovered over your body.

With one swift motion, Frank used his current position to his advantage as he helped you down onto the blanket so that you were laying on your back. Once you were laid down you looked up at him through your lashes, panting heavily as you awaited his touch. The sight of you beneath him caused him to groan as he pulled his shirt off over his head. He leaned down again so that he could kiss you. One hand rested on the top of your head and the other was on your thigh, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist which you did eagerly. As Frank continued to kiss you deeply he thrusted against you, causing you to feel his building erection against your clothed pussy. You moaned into his mouth, rolling your hips against his.

“Fuck you feel so good. Even clothed you drive my body crazy.” He adds, face buried in your neck as he grinds down into you. “And yet, I really wanna see you naked. Can I take off your clothes?” 

“Yes please.” That is the permission he needs to start undressing you. He takes your shirt off first and then your shorts. You maneuver to help him until you are only in a bra and panties. Frank’s eyes trace over your body, unable to keep himself from looking. As he does so you guide his hand to your back where your bra clasp sits. He takes the hint and helps you unhook your bra, pulling it off of you until your breasts are exposed to him. Next his hands trail down to your panties. Before he can take them off his eyes find yours, asking for silent permission. You nod and he smiles, hooking his fingers in the hem of your panties. He finally slides them down your legs before leaning back on his haunches to admire your body in full before him. 

“God you are beautiful.” He muttered breathlessly before diving on top of you and grinding into you. The new sensation of the fabric of his jeans on your bare pussy was delicious, making you cry out. When you do he stops, pulling away to look at you. “Are you okay?” 

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Is all you can say as he continues his movements, eyes trained on yours. You hold his shoulders tightly, rolling your hips up into his to get more of that beautiful friction. As you do so you feel a knot building up in your stomach, signaling your impending orgasm. The quick pace of your approaching orgasm catches you off guard since you’d both only just started but you couldn’t deny the feeling of pleasure that coiled inside you. The movements of your hips begin to stutter and Frank catches on, realizing that you’re about to cum for him for the first time. 

“Are you gonna cum baby? How shameful. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already falling apart for me. God that is so hot.” He grinds down hard then pulls away completely right as you’re on the edge causing you to moan and whine at the loss of contact. “I’m sorry baby but I have to taste you. I want you cumming on my tongue.” 

With that he crawls down your body, trailing kisses along the way as he does until he’s hovering right over your cunt. His breath is warm on your sensitive bud and you moan. He uses his fingers to open you up to him before flicking over your clit with his tongue rapidly, giving you a multitude of sensations at once. You buck your hips up into his mouth as his lips wrap around your clit and he begins sucking. The feeling sends you reeling as you lace your fingers into his hair. 

“God yes, I want to cum on your tongue.” 

“Don’t worry baby. You’re going to.” With that he increases his sucking, latching on tighter which causes that same coil of pressure to build in your stomach as you buck up into him harder. As you do he grabs your waist with both hands, pinning you down so that you can’t squirm away from him. His tongue travels down to prod at your entrance. Your back arches up towards the sky as his tongue slips deep inside of you. Somehow Frank finds the right spot on the first try, flicking up and back against your g-spot. That is the motivation you need to cum against his mouth. Wild moans escape you as you convulse against him, trying to get away before you become too overstimulated but he keeps you in place. You squirm frantically but he makes no efforts to stop. Closing your eyes tightly, you hold onto his hair even more tightly now as he continues to suck on your clit. 

“Frank, it’s so sensitive. Please--” 

“You can take it baby. I know you can take it.” 

With that he speeds up, flicking his tongue against you more rapidly now. As he does you feel that familiar feeling in your stomach, unable to fight a second orgasm from springing up on you. As he travels down and finds your g-spot again you explode on his tongue a second time, shaking uncontrollably as he holds you down. Once you’ve come down he backs away from your pussy, climbing back up over your body to kiss you. You can taste your own cum on his tongue as he kisses you warmly. You can’t help but squirm a little after cumming twice for him, unused to that kind of relentless attention.

“You did so well. Thank you.” Frank says before kissing you. “God, I’m so hard for you. I need to be inside you. Can I please?” You can’t find the words so you nod. At the motion Frank’s hand grips your jaw, causing you to look at him in the eyes. “No baby. I need to hear your words. I need to hear you say that you want it.” 

“I -- I do.” 

“You do what sweetheart?” 

“I do. I want you to put your cock inside of me. Please Frank.” 

“Okay. I can do that baby. I can do that.” As he speaks he climbs off of you, balancing himself on the rock as he takes his jeans off. Then his boots and socks. Then his boxers. He peels them off slowly until his cock springs out, fully hard and weeping with precum. The sight of him makes you inhale deeply. "What's the matter baby? Does my big thick cock make you nervous?" His words cause a deep blush to spring to your cheeks as you squirm, waiting for his touch again. When he finally lowers down onto you, you grab his shoulders tightly as he lines himself up with your entrance. As his hips start to thrust you prepare yourself for the feeling of him but Frank fakes you out, instead running his cock up through your folds. The tip presses against your clit, making you moan sweetly. He slips towards your entrance again, this time prodding more urgently. 

You maintain eye contact, pleading him silently to push inside of you. With your evident approval he moves one of his hands to the side of your neck as he nudges himself slowly inside. The feeling of his thick cock stretching you open causes your mouth to gape as you bury your face in Frank’s neck, unable to keep yourself from moaning loudly as you enjoy him. A deep groan escapes Frank’s throat as he presses in deeper, almost completely to the base. With one more thrust he is seated fully inside you, his cock reaching deeply in you. 

“Oh fuck sweetheart,” Frank gasps, moving out of you slowly before pushing back in. The second thrust hits even deeper than the first, reaching that spot that makes you feel so exquisite. Just as you are about to beg him to move faster he speeds up as if he could read your mind, pounding you at a genuine pace now. Your passionate moans do not escape his attention as he moves forward to look in your eyes. “That feel good? Like it when I pound you hard like that?” 

“Fuck, yes! Yes!” You blurt out, unable to contain yourself. Frank keeps up that same pace, pounding you hard and fast just the way you want him to as you roll your hips up into his, trying to get more of him inside you. As you rock against him you feel that coil in your loins building again, another orgasm imminent. The man moans. 

“Jesus, I can feel you gripping me so tight. Are you gonna cum again?” Before he can let you answer you are suddenly being lifted as his cock slips out of you. The strong man grabs your hips and flips your body so that your ass is up in front of him and your face is pressed into the blanket. Without a moment of hesitation he sticks his cock back inside you, pounding at the same pace as before. The sudden shift allows him to go even deeper and you cry out for him. “Look at you. Moaning and whimpering on the cock of the man who practically helped raise you. Such a filthy little slut. I love it baby. So beautiful when you make those noises for me.” 

His filthy words make you clench again and he groans, pushing as hard as he can which makes you yelp loudly. Frank’s fingers bear into your hips hard as he takes you like a wild animal out in the middle of the forest, with the sound of the moving water echoing alongside your cries. You can barely find the words to beg him to let you cum. 

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to say it. You cum on my cock as many times as you like.” With his permission you let out a deep groan, pushing back against him as you encourage your orgasm. 

“I want to cum with you. Please.” Frank’s hand swings down, smacking your ass hard at your admission, jolting you forward. 

“That’s what I like to hear sweetheart. I’m so close already. Cum with me.” You nod fervently, pushing back to meet his thrusts so he can reach extra deep as the two of you rock towards your orgasm. As he pounds you nice and hard his fingers find your clit, rubbing little circles as he fucks you. It isn’t long before you’re right on the precipice of that sweet high. Neither of you can say any words as you let yourselves fall over the edge, gripping each other tightly as you both cum. The only sounds you can make are whimpers and moans and cries as you cum a third time, continuing to rock back against his hips as you ride it out. Frank is buried the deepest inside you that he’s been during your encounter, filling you up with his warm cum as you both pant heavily. The sun on your back is like heaven as you lean down on the blanket, trying to catch your breath. 

“Oh god baby. Fuck.” Frank breaths, collapsing beside you on the blanket. Rolling over into his arms, you let out a sigh. Unsure of what starts it the two of you find yourselves suddenly laughing at yourselves. Perhaps its the absurdity of what just happened. Or maybe its the overwhelming joy. Nevertheless the two of you find yourselves in fits. Soon you’re out of breath all over again, trying to regain your composure. A smile paints your face as you look at him.

“That was ... wonderful. You are wonderful.” You say, fingers stroking small and delicate circles into his chest as you speak.

“Not nearly as wonderful as you sweetheart.” 

“I like hearing you say that. Sweetheart.” 

“You’ll always be my sweetheart.” With another smile you start pushing yourself up but his arm draped over your waist stops you.

“Come on. Let’s go back to the house. I’m sure we could both use a shower.” With a groan he lets go, pushing himself up beside you. The two of you get dressed and pack up your picnic before making your way back to the house. As you walk, Frank extends his arm to you and you walk back cuddled up together like that. 

When you make it back you both let go of each other only to see that your parents aren't on the porch. You head inside, making your way to the kitchen to put away the left overs from your picnic. That's where you find both your parents, dressed to go out.

"Well hey you two." Your dad chimes.

"What were you up to?" Your mom adds.

"We were having lunch. Now it's back to studying." You say, not wanting to spend too much time on what you were just doing.

"Well that's fun. Don't study too hard. Your dad and I are going to head into town to catch a movie just the two of us if that's alright. We should be back in two or three hours." With that they both pack up the rest of their things and head out the door, disappearing as quickly as they appeared. With your parents now out of the house Frank's hand finds your waist turning you in his direction.

"Now what was that you were saying about a shower?"

Tags: @talesfromtheguild ​ @readsalot73​ @balenciagabucky​ @star-spangled-man​ @sheerfreesia007​ @bunnywritesmarvel​ @chellestrash @allaboardthereadingrailroad​ @twistneteclipse​ @wannabemurdock @mrsswaino​ @chrisevansredbelt @ohcaptains​

[blackdrgns]

MY thoughts on the recent popular analysis

shinichiro throughout the series has been painted positively by everyone and it’s normal to be suspicious but to accuse him of something as serious as that while reading too much into the dialogues when you know yourself that translations aren't reliable? and that the some dialogues aren't that deep in japanese? anyway im gonna debunk some stuffs because as a shinichiro stan i know his character a little more

• Mikey and manjiro

Mikey created that name for himself because he wanted emma to feel welcome. In a country like japan where you’re supposed to blend in, I promise you it can feel very uncomfortable when you’re the odd one out. Before he knew it, it became his whole image, ‘the invisible mikey’. I think it’s similar to Senju where she had something like a stage name. In his little world of delinquency well of course he’d want to keep that cool name. This brings me to my next point

it seems like the kawata twins weren’t that close with mikey. honestly? idk if mikey even wants to own a restaurant at all. i know draken was the closest person to mikey (maybe same as baji) but i feel like draken himself didn’t know exactly what manjiro, the real person behind all that image, wanted and what exactly were his dreams. sure, draken probably just came up with some random lie on the spot but i found it interesting that he didn’t say anything similar to mikey owning a motorcycle shop or working something related to motorcycles. Then again, it’s possible that mikey does want to own a restaurant and he told draken at some point. Maybe when all of this is over he’ll own one in the future. I’m just bringing up the possibility that mikey never revealed much about himself and that no one knew manjiro which is why when takemichi called out his real name, it meant so much to him.

• Trauma

Mental illness doesn’t have to stem from trauma. Mikey could’ve been born that way and that’s NOT his fault at all. If it did come from trauma, I’m 100% sure shin didn’t cause it. We know his parents died shortly after mikey was born so the chances of them directly causing it are low. But what about shin’s trauma? he was around 10 when his mother died and he had to see his dad get married w another woman not long after that. Wakui have said that his dad is a mischievous man and I think he was surrounded by women a lot. We don’t even know if his parents had a happy marriage. This connects to the next point

• Izana and Mikey

shin definitely suffered from not having a whole family and from that, he wanted to unite his siblings badly. trauma can push people to want positive things, it doesn’t always have to be negative. it’s possible that he also thought izana was related to him by blood and only found out later. regardless, he knew izana was connected to his family and maybe he thought he wanted to fix his dad’s problems.

• Bad Influence

why do delinquents join gangs in the first place? I saw this one documentary about bosozoku gangs and it seems like they took a lot of pride in it. shinichiro didn’t have a strong parental influence growing up, and from what we know about his character, he hates endeavor. he also likes to fight. i guess being in gangs gave him a place to be free from responsibilities (you know? the one that was thrown at him at such a young age where he had to raise his siblings?) it was like his safe place. it makes sense that he would want to share that with both izana and mikey. also his influences on gangs have been positive for generations, he didn’t like picking fights with people weaker than him so it’s not like he influenced mikey and izana to bully people.

he said that with sincerity in his eyes and wakui could’ve drawn him in a different light.

• haunting… your screen?

dude was literally just in his house hanging out with his friend where his friend brought his siblings over for a playdate. what else could’ve he said in this chapter? You want to see him talk about motorcycles or something??

do i have to remind you that we don’t know what happened after the incident with sanzu? We can't say anything more about this incident because we don't know!!!!! It will be revealed either in the side stories or the main manga but I know for sure shin didn't encourage that behaviour. why would takeomi still want to be friends with shin if that was the case?

if you read a lot of mangas, that panel on the right could imply that there was some time interval. also you can see the living room in that second panel. takeomi and shin could’ve went somewhere else to smoke or something idk they had their own lives.

• Takeomi and takemichi

bruh this is a whole new level of reach. manjiro was just using honorifics

sanzu using quotations: bonten was HUGE. definitely feared among other criminals. quotations were probably used as a way to emphasize how feared mikey’s name is. it’s not like the criminals who were about to be killed knew who mikey is. you know it’s like how in mangas where they refer to someone as “the king” or something like that.

emma herself said that mikey never listens to her. mikey probably just shrugged it off and didn’t care enough to think too much on it. mikey was young anyway, emma probably could’ve told him in a vague way like “I had a brother but he was sent away”

Why would it be stated that shin is one of the people who held his impulses back if he was the one to cause it? that would be shit writing if they suddenly switch up on it

Izana and shinichiro. Izana told shinichiro directly that he didn’t like manjiro. Shinichiro knew he needed time to bring his siblings together. When he asked mikey about having another brother, it seems like he was happy that at least mikey was willing to accept it. but it still wasn’t enough for him to put them in the same room together. shin needed TIME. but it was too late because izana found out they weren’t related and felt betrayed. you still think it would’ve been good for shinichiro to force them in the same room??? I have this feeling that if he hadn’t died that night, he would’ve still tried his best to reconcile with izana and finally bring them together, maybe when mikey was older. We don’t even know if grandpa sano knew about Izana. It’s possible he didn’t want to accept Izana, since he’s not blood related to grandpa sano at all. Emma at least had half of the sano blood.

SHINICHIRO DID NOT ISOLATE IZANA ON PURPOSE. He could’ve handled the izana situation better I know that and he messed up by not telling izana sooner but it was most definitely not on purpose. I mean not having a parental figure? how would he know to handle the situation perfectly.

shinichiro was probably not a prodigy or genius like kisaki. how would he do that. kisaki only became a gang member because of a girl. if shin was such a genius why would he join gangs. also we would’ve seen mikey mention it.  why would he be smart about evil stuffs and not his studies that’s so weird

His harmless joke to emma in chapter 123 was just to lighten the mood up and show that he was THAT confident in himself. Mikey said the same thing to imitate shin, it was supposed to be wholesome. ‘I wanna make her smile’ was just to show that mikey has a human side and that he wanted to help make emma smile too not because of some other sick reasons. no it wont come back to haunt you.

if kazutora knew about shin, why didn’t he ever mention about it to takemichi in any of the timelines? it’s important info???

draken didn’t have suspicions about shin at all. he admired him like everyone else. my guy has street smarts you can’t deny this, he would’ve suspected something weird but instead right until shin lying on his grave, all the impressions he had about him were positive

There's more I can debunk but I'm tired. AGAIN Im aware that shin might be different from what we’ve seen. but accusing him of something so terrible? worse than taiju? that’s insane. your last note saying you hate shin made it clear that you just wanted to paint him in the worst way possible using small crumbs

Lastly, if there are errors, sorry english isn't my first language (but also not really) and I probably could've worded most of it better but you get my point

[jungle-angel]

Protector (Breath of Life Part 4)

Summary: No matter what, fathers will always be there for their sons

Notes: Might have references and touches of “Nightmare”, a shortfic I wrote about two months ago. Anywho....enjoy

Beep, beep......the tiny heart monitor blipped away

“August,” Bob murmured as he stroked the dark blonde tufts of hair on your son’s hair, sniffing back the tears that dripped from his eyes. “Hold on.....just a little while longer.....hold on for me and Mama.”

Beep, beep.......fainter than before.

Bob’s lips gently brushed the crown of August’s head, his chest growing tight as the beep of August’s heart monitor grew fainter.......until......

Bob could hear himself frantically crying out for Auggie, the baby’s tiny cries tearing and clawing at his heart, unable to do anything for him. He was practically screaming August’s name until his throat was hoarse. 

“AUGGIE!!!! AUGGIE!!!”  

He couldn’t see him, not in that hazy, red and black nightmarish void. Bob kept calling his son’s name, but to no avail.

The flatline reached his ears, loud and shrill........

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Bob snapped awake with a loud gasp, his heart racing at a dangerous pace and an awful, freezing sweat running down the back of his neck as he ran his shaky hands through his hair. A few tears dripped from his eyes, his lower lip and chin trembling, unable to keep the shuddering sob inside. 

He hardly heard the tiny cries coming from Auggie’s crib at the foot of the bed until he snapped out of it and realized his and (y/n)’s son was there......and alive. 

Bob threw aside the bedcovers and made his way to the crib, sticking his glasses right on the bridge of his nose to see better in the dark. He stripped off his yellow-orange shirt and carefully lifted Auggie out of his crib, bringing him to his chest the way (y/n) had showed him how. God Bob wished she didn’t have to go and get the others at the airport. He hated sleeping without her.

“Shhhhh, Auggie......Auggie it’s ok,” Bob croaked, more tears dripping from his eyes as he tried to rock his tiny son back to sleep. “It’s ok.....Daddy’s here, Daddy’s got you.” 

Bob still felt the tightness of his panic, needing to get outside and get some fresh air. Out to the back porch he went, carefully seating himself in the porch rocker with a blanket wrapped tight around Auggie. The ocean roared in the distance, crashing onto the shores while a warm breeze blew in from the west. Every time Bob looked up at the stars, he counted down the hours when the rest of Dagger Squad would be home from Bethesda and when (y/n) would be bringing them back from the airport. 

He wanted so badly to just shake off the nightmare, but the intensity had shaken him to his core. He and (y/n) had almost lost Auggie, the fear of the moment still lingering on his mind like a disease. 

The storm door to the porch creaked open just a minute later as Joe graced his son with his presence and a freshly rolled joint hanging loosely from his pencil thin lips. “Hey Dracula,” Joe greeted. “What are you doing up? It’s the Witching Hour.” 

Joe took one look at his son’s face, quickly noticing the thousand-yard stare that had entered Bob’s eyes. “Bobby?” he said. “Robby talk to me, what’s going on?” 

“I.......I can’t I.......I don’t know how.....” 

Joe tucked the joint behind his ear and knelt right next to the porch rocker. “Bob, people only go quiet like that when something’s on their minds. I’m not gonna leave you alone till you tell me what’s wrong.” 

Bob shifted a little, his arms still protectively encircled around Auggie. “We almost lost Auggie once,” Bob explained, trying to hold back his tears. “I don’t wanna lose him Dad.....I’m terrified we’re gonna lose him if something goes wrong.” 

“Hey, hey,” Joe said, snaking his arm around Bob’s shoulders. “I get it. After your Mom died I swore I’d lay down my life for you if I needed to. When I heard your name called at the Top Gun graduation, all I could think was, ‘Irene, I’d lay down my life for Bob, but for God’s sake don’t let it come to that. Every time you and the rest of the squad go on a mission I can’t help but think that.”

Bob knew his father better than anybody. It took serious balls for someone like Joe to admit that. 

“Auggie will be fine,” Joe promised him. “His Mimi’s lookin out for him....I know that much.” 

Bob wiped away a few stray tears from his eyes. “Thanks Dad.” 

“No problem Robby,” Joe answered. “You know, I was gonna smoke this but it can wait till after sunrise.” 

“Can you do me one favor though?” Bob asked. “Can you hold Auggie for a minute or two? (y/n) said she’d text me when Rooster, Hangman and the others get in.”

“Sure, pass him off.” 

Bob carefully lifted August and placed him in Joe’s hands before going back into the house. Joe couldn’t help but laugh a little, his grandson practically disappearing in the crook of his arms.

“We’ve gotcha little man,” he whispered. “Your Daddy, your mom and Papa.” 

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s half Demon, and they look AWFULLY familiar...

‘Kay guys, I got a different kind of stupid Headcanon to throw at you. Get ready!

Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

*ahem* picture if you will, it’s the day the exchange program is set to start. The student council (nix Mr. Kill All Humans, Weeb-supreme, and our Scummy Sweetheart) have assembled to welcome the new human student. All is going according to schedule, the portal opens up at eight am sharp, they hear the pitiful screams of the selected human who was not given a heads up about the whole thing, and the poor little human falls straight onto the marble floor.

There’s something a tad... off about this human don’t you think? After they’ve peeled their sorry ass off the floor they observed the assembled student council with an air of sophistication and self importance that no one expected. Their posture was perfect, their eyes sharp and calculating... they bared a striking resemblance to-

“Lucifer,” Diavolo looked to his right hand man, then back to the human. “The human kind of looks like you!”

And out popped four pitch black wings from the human’s back and two small horns out of the sides of their head, one horn was a bit bigger than the other. They even still had some of their down feathers! How cute!

((Content warning: Swearing (I have a potty mouth, forgive me), but that’s it.))

Luci-dad

So, the MC is Lucifer’s kid! Of course Mr. Prideypants immediately tries to recall exactly what little romp in the human world uh... spawned this half-human half-demon child of his. Good thing MC’s got the other parent on speed-dial.

“Please note, MC,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose upon hearing Asmo take even more pictures of his newly discovered hellspawn. “I was not aware of your existence, if I was I’d-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset.”

Lucifer blinked a few times in surprise. “P...pardon? You aren’t upset?”

“No, my parent told me that my father was a high ranking demon, and they bare no ill will against you. Though, I am looking forward to this whole... exchange program thing.”

Oh wow, that was easier than Lucifer thought. Damn. Well, he was a father... (let’s be real, he’s been parenting his brothers for thousands of years, and a good chunk of you sinners call him daddy)

MC is probably the most protected student at RAD, despite the fact that they have no visible security detail whatsoever. They didn’t want to be seen as... weak and pathetic.

Something about this human just... set the lesser demons on edge. Any talk of eating them was stamped out on the first day when they walked by. It’s like Lucifer himself was staring at them, daring the demons to try and bother the human. MC’s powerful presence kept them protected and feared.

...at least until dear uncle Asmo decided to do their hair one morning. All those ribbons may have looked adorable but they kind of ruined the intimidation factor.

MC loved to mess with the other students, keeping their lineage a secret for the first little while just made it so much funnier when the other demons tried to scramble out of MC’s way without looking like they were running from the ‘weak little human exchange student’.

Oh wow, what a sadist. Like father like child

Flying lessons are a must. Poor MC isn’t terribly good at controlling their wings, and their horns are still growing in so when they pop into their demon form the first thing they get is a sore skull. Ow... it sucks that Lucifer isn’t outwardly very sympathetic.

“Ow!” MC crashed face first into the grass in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. “Father! My wings are cramping! Can’t we practice this tomorrow?”

The sight of seeing his dear child crash face first into the ground had lost its hilarity after the first three times. Lucifer slowly lowered himself to the ground and crossed his arms as he stood over his incredibly grass-stained kid.

“MC, we’ve been ‘practicing this tomorrow’ for the past month. If you want to learn to fly you’re going to have to actually manage to stay in the air for more than three minutes.”

MC shot Lucifer a withering glare that only preteens were capable of, Lucifer matched it with his own much more sophisticated glare.

“You’ve been flying for over a thousand years! Don’t you have any tips that can actually help other than ‘don’t panic, you’ll look ridiculous’?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face and looked around, the two were alone as far as he could see.

“MC,” Lucifer began. “When I was a young angel, I needed to learn how to fly with someone else.”

MC perked up. “Who?”

“Michael. The smug bastard picked up flying quicker than I did.”

“What’d you do?!”

Lucifer smiled at his child’s intense investment. “I practiced flying every day for five extra hours until I could do everything that Michael could do, just better.”

MC’s starry eyed interest died almost instantly upon hearing about the extra five hours of practice. “Humph, I bet I could outfly younger you and Michael with only two hours of practice a day.”

“Really now?”

“Yes! Watch!” MC shook off their wings and took off in a running start before shakily making it into the air. Their form was decent enough, and they weren’t shaking as much as the previous attempts. “SEE?!”

“Yes MC,” Lucifer smiled. “I can see.”

You know what else Lucifer could see? MC crashing right into a tree.

“Ouch...”

Okay... maybe they could halt practice a little early and order a treat from Madame Scream’s. A little sugar to refuel is needed when the end goal is crushing a mutual rival beneath their heels. Just some good old fashioned father/child bonding time!

MC has a smaller seat right next to Lucifer’s seat in the Assembly Hall. I will not compromise on this one.

For all your fluff needs, I give you: Lucifer teaching MC how to play the piano. He has a proud little smile on his face when his kid finally starts getting it. That’s all. Enjoy the image.

That one Uncle who gives you Alcohol at Family Gatherings (Mammon)

Yeah, when Mammon burst in late to the party and whining about everyone’s spamming him with texts to haul his scummy ass to the Assembly Hall, the last thing he expected was to see a mini-Lucifer.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?!”

The glare the two Lucifers gave the poor Avatar of Greed was enough to make him want to turn tail (uh, wing) and book it down the hall.

“Mammon, this is MC. They’re my child.”

“Hello.”

“...whaaaa..?” Mammon looked between the two, same glare, same intimidating aura, same annoyingly good posture.

Mammon scratched the back of his neck and looked over at his older brother. “Do I uh... still gotta babysit em’ if they’re not human?”

“The lake of Cocytus will melt the day I let you babysit without supervision.” Lucifer grumbled.

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

Despite Lucifer’s initial denial, Mammon and MC ended up spending a lot of time hanging out when Lucifer was busy with paperwork. Of course Mammon’s first thought was ‘how do I profit off this situation?’

MC is now Mammon’s designated babysitter after they caught him picking up their feathers that had fallen off with the intention of painting them white and claiming they were Lucifer’s from back in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon does end up spoiling MC a little. Just a smidge. They’re the kid of his totally not his favourite brother after all! How could he not? Whether or not these gifts are obtained legally or are legal at all is subject to scrutiny.

“Mammon, I can’t drink this!” MC placed the bottle of Demonus back on the counter of the kitchen.

“Why not? That’s a bottle of the good stuff! We gotta celebrate you gettin’ an A on that test somehow!”

“I’m underage! Incredibly underage. I’m not legally allowed to drink.”

Mammon wordlessly plopped a silly straw into the bottle. “...does that help?”

“No.” MC then inclined their head to the bottle. “And I don’t want to get hung from the ceiling, that bottle was in my father’s study yesterday, I’m above theft.”

“How old are you s’posed to be anyway? Never mind... uh...” Mammon wracked his brain for something else he could do for MC that didn’t cost anything (don’t judge him, the poor bastard was flat broke!). “I could... teach you to drive!”

“Driving?”

“Yeah! Drivin’ is awesome! We can take my car!”

The bills for the damages done to the car and the Devildom were mailed to Lucifer the next day, and MC and Mammon got to keep each other company as they hung from the ceiling. Ah well! At least MC wasn’t upside down!

Mammon wasn’t that good of a flight teacher either, he also crashed into a tree (the same tree MC crashed into, actually) when he was cheering for MC. They were finally able to do a loopdy loop! He was proud and distracted! Okay?! Lucifer! Stop smirkin’ at him! It’s not that funny!

At least the vantage point from the tree was decent and the branches didn’t scratch him up too badly. Oh hey... that person walking by was wearing a very nice watch... he’d be right back-

That Uncle That is Always Absent From Family Gatherings and When He is Present He Leaves Early (Levi)

He missed everything. That is not an exaggeration. He was in the middle of an online raid battle and couldn’t look at his phone! No Lucifer he can’t pause an online game! That’s not how it works!

Okay, the human exchange student is half demon? WOAH! THAT’S JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME- W A I T. THE LITTLE NORMIE IS LUCIFER’S KID?!

Okie doke, he was fully convinced that MC just had to be an anime protagonist.

They binged every series that Levi compared them to. Sure MC might have missed a few assignments because of late night anime binges, but they were too good for this school crap anyway, right?

Nope. Lucifer put a ban on the two watching anime until both their grades improved. Surviving that hell brought the two together.

“Ugh!”

The sound of a pencil case being haphazardly thrown across the room made Levi peek out of his bed-tub. If his figurines got knocked over so HELP HIM-

“This is stupid!!I shouldn’t have to catch up with this!” MC crossed their arms and gave their Demonology textbook their best disapproving glare.

Lucifer Lite (tm) was having a hell of a time trying to claw through their missed work, and Levi sympathized, he really did, it’s just... he was playing Animal Crossing-

Levi paused the game to placate his anime-buddy when their wings popped out and he feared for his rare merch’s safety.

“H-hey, MC? Do you need help?” Levi’s offer was met with a bone chilling glare that lived rent free in his nightmares ever since. He had pulled a Mammon and forgotten he was talking to Lucifer’s child. Lucifer’s allergy to help must have passed down to MC.

“No! I don’t! It’s just... dumb!” MC hissed, she turned and looked over at the fish tank. “Right Henry 2.0?”

Henry 2.0 did not respond.

“MC, you need to finish your homework or we can’t watch anything together,” Levi sighed, he had finished his work over an hour earlier. He had mastered the art of all night anime binges and managing to do most of his work in the fifteen minutes between the time he woke up and the time school was supposed to begin. “We haven’t even binged all of volume 4 of TSL yet!”

“Mmm...” MC grumbled. “Fine...”

MC picked up their pencil case and began continued their work. Levi breathed a sigh of relief and went back to Animal Crossing.

The tiny normie did in fact finish their work, only after they caved and asked Levi for help. Swore him to secrecy, they did... very intimidating, they were.

Just saying, he most definitely sent that one Keanu Reeves meme with big Keanu and little Keanu but with Lucifer and MC to the wrong group chat. Poor bastard.

Flying lessons? No. Levi hadn’t flown since his time in the Celestial Realm, he had no advice to give other than: “Flap your wings!”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING YOU-”

MC didn’t get to finish that thought, they lost their balance and fell right into RAD’s fountain. Ah well, Levi had a head start on running for his life that he squandered by laughing at MC. RIP.

The Uncle/brother/whatever the fuck that Starts a Fight With Your Dad at the Family Reunion. (Satan)

Oh... another Lucifer? Eugh. Gross.

Satan gave the kid a wide berth when they first met. Everything the kid said or did ticked him off. “Tsk. Look at MC. Making an omelette. So annoying.” “Oh wow, MC vacuumed? Roll out the red carpet, we need to celebrate their existence!” “Look at them. Breathing. Disgusting.”

MC’s pride wouldn’t ever let them admit it but... they knew Satan didn’t like them, and it hurt their feelings.

“Shhhh,” Satan whispered into his backpack.

“Meow.” The backpack replied.

“I said shhhhh.”

The backpack did not reply after that, which was a good thing considering the little princet of the HOL was nearby.

“Satan?” They asked. “Who are you talking to?”

Satan coldly brushed past them as he made his way to his room. “No one you need to concern yourself with.”

When the little calico kitten was safe in his room, Satan quickly realized a mistake in his foolproof ‘sneak a cat into the house’ plan. He didn’t have any toys for the kitten, and he didn’t want his books getting scratched...

It was alright, he’d just rush out to the a store that sold cat things and rush back! Five minute trip tops!

Well when Satan got back the cat was no longer in the room. Oh dear. He discreetly tore apart the house looking for the poor little thing until he ended up finding it in the library, happily chasing around a loose feather being held up by MC.

“Oh, hello Satan.” MC chirped as the kitten batted it’s adorable little paws at the feather.

“My... my door was closed. Did you let the cat out?”

MC shrugged. “I heard meowing.”

Satan ran a hand through his hair and grumbled. Stupid smaller Lucifer. Stupid original Lucifer. Everyone sucked.

“Let me guess, you’re going to run to Lucifer and tell him all about the meowing and the rule breaking.”

MC shook their head and glared at Satan. “Of course not. I’ve already gotten way too attached to this little guy anyway. We’re co-parenting this kitten like mature adults.”

With some coaxing, Satan did sit down and play with the kitten, maybe MC wasn’t... so terrible.

The two watch Unsolved Mysteries together, that’s their show. “This guy did it.” “Satan, we’re two minutes into the episode-” “Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later.

“He did it.” “See MC, what’d I tell you?”

Lucifer did find out about the cat, but with enough pleading, MC and Satan managed to warm up the cold spot in Lucifer’s chest where his heart should have been. The cat’s name is Detective Toe Beans (or just Bean).

Satan can’t fly, he has a tail, but he did read up on wing anatomy and how flight actually works in demons, his advice would be good in theory, but it’s full of so much technical jargon that MC can’t understand it.

At least MC didn’t crash into something, they barrel rolled through one of the HOL’s windows. Good thing it was the window to their room. The broken arm still hurt like hell.

The Best Dressed Bitch Who Brings The Booze to The Reunion. (Asmo)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lucifer’s kid was SO CUTE! A thousand pictures commemorating that adorable moment needed to be taken! Wait- Lucifer- GIVE BACK THE PHONE-

Asmo, surprise surprise, absolutely adores little MC! So cute! So small! He was just so excited to announce to all his Devilgram followers that Lucifer was finally a certified DILF.

That post disappeared five minutes after it was made but the damage had already been done.

Asmo made sure MC looked their best at all times, if they needed help talking to anyone? Asmo’s got their back!

Sure, maybe he’s a little pushy, but pushy’s a good thing sometimes, right?

“Asmodeus-”

“No, these shoes wouldn’t fit you...”

“Asmo-”

“No, not these ones either...”

“ASMODEUS.”

Asmo squeaked and jumped upwards, Geez Louise... little MC’s voice could sure be scary when they wanted it to be...

“I don’t need any fancy new shoes.” MC huffed, sitting up straighter in one of the chairs in Asmo’s room. “I thought this was supposed to be a sleepover.”

“Hmmm...” Asmo pouted. “Makeovers are an essential part of sleepovers... what’d you do with your human friends up in the human world that could possibly be better than a make-over?!”

MC began to list things off. “Ordered junk food, talked about people we hated, watched movies,”

“Greasy food is so bad for your skin...” Asmo cringed and shook his head violently. “But I’m totally down to watch a movie and bitch about people I hate!”

“Ah yes, human sleepovers, a tradition I never quite had the chance to enjoy.” Solomon said from Asmo’s bed. “Who are we bitching about?”

“Remind me what Solomon is doing here.” MC muttered as they sat down in front of Asmo’s TV.

“Because, I wanted to hang out with my two favourite humans.” Asmo cooed, reaching over and trying to pinch MC’s cheek, which they awkwardly dodged.

“Can we watch The Exorcist?” Solomon asked, propping his head up with his hands.

“Ew, no.” Asmo made a face at him. “That scene with the vomit? Hell NO.”

“Mm.” MC mumbled. Asmo turned to look at them.

“MC? Are you doing okay? You don’t look like you’re having any fun...”

“I’m fine.” MC grumbled.

Asmo pursed his lips, as much as it made his little narcissistic heart break, he nudged MC. “Why don’t you pick the movie, sweetie. I’m sure Solomon and I will like anything you pick!”

MC noticeably brightened. “Let’s watch Scream!”

The strangled noise that came from Asmo was... concerning, but to his credit, The Avatar of Lust held his tongue about his distaste for the movie, and the three slumber-party goers had quite the lovely time.

After the movie ended, MC went back to their room, sure it was a sleepover but their bed was right down the hall.

Good for Asmo and Solomon. Horny fuckers. We stan.

Asmo just claps and tries to cheer MC on when it comes to their flying lessons. (The idea that Asmo came up with to wear his cheerleader costume from the previous Halloween was immediately shot down by Lucifer)

“You’re doing wonderful, MC- WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINE!”

MC didn’t hit the power line, but Asmo’s scream of terror caused them to fall butt-first into a dumpster. Their injured tailbone served as a tragic memory of the incident.

Oh well, good thing Asmo had nice smelling soap to give that could mask dumpster-stink.

The Uncle that eats everything and tells you to eat your veggies while you angrily pick at your broccoli at the kid’s table. (Beel)

Lucifer... has a kid?! Beel choked on the cheetos he had snuck into the Assembly Hall when the kid’s wings popped out.

Oh wow, that’s nice :) maybe they can eat together. Belphie would probably like them.

Wait what is the gender neutral term for Niece or Nephew?

...Nibling? Uh... let’s not say that around Beel. We don’t need him to get hungrier and begin associating MC with nibbling on things.

The Underground Tomb incident probably went a little differently, but after all that nonsense, the two are closer than two peas in a pod!

Mmm... peas...

“Beel?” MC stepped into the Avatar of Gluttony’s room.

“Hi MC.” Beel was doing push-ups in the middle of the room, on the ground right beneath his head was a massive bowl of spaghetti that he bit into every time he completed a push-up. “Can you come stand on my back? I need the extra weight.”

“On your back?” MC padded closer. “Are you sure? It’s not going to hurt?”

“No, it’ll be okay.” Beel assured them. “Belphie and I did this all the time. Except Belphie is normally asleep.”

MC tentatively stepped onto Beel’s back. It was a balancing act to say the least, they eventually gave up on standing and ended up sitting cross legged between Beel’s shoulder blades.

“You did this with Belphegor?” MC asked.

“Yeah,” Beel sighed. “He was always too tired to exercise, but he’d let me bench press him sometimes...”

MC frowned and hugged their knees to their chest. Knowing full well that Beel’s twin wasn’t in the human world like Lucifer said was absolutely ripping them apart from the inside. Guilt felt just as rotten as their pride did when they were being belittled...

“Maybe you’ll see him again sometime soon.” MC whispered. “Maybe my father’ll come to his senses and let him come back down to the Devildom.”

Beel paused his push-ups for a brief moment, then nodded and went back to his eating exercising combo. “I hope so. He’ll like you, MC. I’m sure of it.”

MC nodded. “I... hope so.”

Beel’s a pretty decent flight teacher, but his wings are just so different from MC’s that it renders any tips he had next to useless.

“MC, maybe your wings aren’t flapping fast enough.”

“Beel, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not a hummingbird. Or a fly. I don’t need to flap my wings a million times a minute to stay afloat.”

Ah well, MC tried to take some of Beel’s advice, but their lower right wing cramped up and they ended up flying in circles until Beel was able to catch them. Ah well, better than the dumpster incident the previous week.

The Uncle That Passes Out in The Basement and You’re Not Allowed to Wake Him Up Even Though All Your Toys and Video Games Are Down There. He Also Picks a Fight With Your Dad’s New S/O Before He Passes Out. (Belphie)

Sitting in the attic was quite a drag, and this supposedly weak little human was quite the annoyance to try and call out to. It took a lot longer than expected, but when he heard little footsteps coming towards his prison, Belphegor nearly jumped with joy.

Oh... it... looked like Lucifer. Smelled like Lucifer. Stood like Lucifer. Quacked like Lucifer. Or... trilled..? Whatever sound a peacock made, this brat sounded an awful lot like Lucifer.

A... half-demon. Hmph. Belphie honestly thought Lucifer had actual standards. Not anymore, he guessed.

(Man I could fill a whole-ass fic with the Belphie betrayal thing, but for now let’s skip to post attic nonsense)

Okay so maybe MC wasn’t disgusting. They made a good nap buddy. It was cute when their wings came out when they were sleeping sometimes. Well... it was cute when they didn’t hit him in the face and make him wake up with his mouth full of feathers.

What Beel said had been true, Belphie made a good substitute when weights weren’t available, but Beel didn’t want MC to feel left out, so Belphie and MC ended up sitting on his back while he did push ups. MC once got bored and started playing Go Fish with Belphie on Beel’s back while he exercised.

Yes. MC is still a member of the Formerly-Anti-Lucifer League.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be too mad at us?” MC asked for the dozenth time that day. Detective Toe Beans was wrapped around their neck like a scarf (he had gotten so big!!!) while MC nervously sat in one of the Library chairs.

“Positive.” Belphie said with a toothy grin. “Besides, he’s like putty when it comes to you. Just give him your best puppy eyes and we’re not guilty on all charges.”

Putty..? Really..? Lucifer..? How strict was he before MC got there... they wondered.

“Sh! He’s coming!” Satan stuck his nose into a random book, it was the Oxford English Dictionary... and it was upside down.

Belphie pretended to pass out and MC decided that the best course of action was to stare deeply into their cat’s eyes. Yeah... that looked casual and not weird.

“Satan, MC, Belphie.” Lucifer nodded to the three of them as he walked towards the entrance to his study.

“Lucifer.”

“Afternoon, father.”

Belphie let out a cartoonishly loud fake snore that nearly caused both MC and Satan to break cover and start laughing.

Side note, Bean had adorable widdle eyes! That cute little face was just to die for-

“You three..!”

Belphie, Satan, and MC peeked their heads into Lucifer’s study, their handiwork was perfect. Everything was covered in red post it notes. Perfectly not harmful, but SO inconvenient!

“You’re all cleaning this up or so help me-”

“GO!” Belphie and Satan each grabbed one of MC’s arms (Satan also grabbed Bean) and sprinted out of the House of Lamentation. Maybe they’d move back there in twenty years... they hoped that Solomon and The Angels would let them crash at Purgatory Hall...

Belphie had used up his physical energy supply for the next four years. He passed out the moment they stepped into sanctuary. Time for a nap...

Flight practice? Ha. Belphie’s napping. Though, he was suspiciously awake and filming whenever MC did something stupid.

“Try not to suck so bad.”

“GO TO HELL BELPHIE!”

“I’m already there. Hell is every second I’m stuck here watching you fail.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT!”

Well... MC mastered the dive bomb that day. Lucifer bought them a cake.

Bonus! Your Dad’s New Husband! That Has Managed to Somehow Make Everyone Hate Him Despite the Fact That He’s A Cinnamon Roll. (Diavolo)

A mini Lucifer? A mini Lucifer!

Diavolo dotes on MC like he’d dote on his own kid. MC wants a crown? They’re getting a crown! A damn nice one too! MC wants a title? Here! MC is now... idk Ruler of the area between Majolish and Hell’s Kitchen.

Poor Uncle Mammon’s got some financial insecurity, he’s still the cool uncle... right?!

He is very much that ‘how do you do fellow kids?’ Meme.

He tries to do stereotypical ‘dad’ things but he’s not very good at them. Once he tried to host a barbecue...

Barbatos saved the day, but Mammon’s hair was still singed, Solomon’s cooking still gave Beel food poisoning (SOLOMON EATS TOXIC WASTE I SWEAR-), Luke still got hit in the face with a frisbee, and Simeon got an unhealthy dose of DAD NERVES and got so stressed everyone was almost blinded by the holy light he suddenly started blasting. We do not mention the water guns.

(Seriously whose bright idea was it to give Belphie and Satan water guns while they were in Lucifer’s presence?)

Praise Barbie. He’s too good for them.

“Um...” MC awkwardly held up the baseball, trying to look at it from all angles like it was a completely alien object. “Lord Diavolo... are you sure you want to play catch?”

Diavolo clapped his hands and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yes! It’s a thing human fathers do with their children, correct? We must make up for lost time between you and Lucifer, right?”

Lucifer massaged his temples and nodded. “If you two would like to play catch...” Lucifer grimaced. “I will too.”

“Okay! MC, throw the ball to Lucifer!” Diavolo instructed.

Lucifer half heartedly held up his baseball glove as MC tossed him the ball. He caught it, and looked over at Diavolo, who was applauding like he just witnessed the greatest feat in sports history.

“Okay! Throw it to me!” Diavolo waved his glove in the air, Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled. He threw the ball at Diavolo with... a lot of force. Enough force to probably dent steel... Diavolo caught it like it was nothing.

MC suddenly feared for their safety.

“Okay MC, catch!”

Diavolo threw the ball with enough force to break the god damn sound barrier. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the ball sailed way over MC’s head and crashed right through a window.

“Oh my...” Diavolo put a hand on his hip and surveyed the damage to the window. “This isn’t so bad, I believe in human world TV shows this happens quite often. Look! The glass broke in a perfect circle!”

“Yay... property damage...” MC murmured.

Lucifer sighed and pulled out his DDD. “I’ll phone someone to replace the win-”

“Lucifer no! Now according to human world customs we must,” Diavolo took a deep breath, rushed forward, grabbed both Lucifer and MC’s hands and started sprinting away from the Demon Lord’s Castle. “RUN FOR IT!”

“Di- Diavolo!” Lucifer gasped.

“Who are we running from?! That’s your castle!” MC squeaked.

“I don’t know! Just run! That’s what the human TV show says to do!”

Weirdly enough, Diavolo was the best flight instructor. MC’s ability to fly increased tenfold after Diavolo found out that MC was learning to fly.

“You’re doing amazing MC! That was a perfect turn!”

“Thanks Lord Diavolo, I’m surprised I haven’t crashed into anyone or fallen yet!”

“Well, I highly doubt you’ll be crashing into anyone anymore, your flying is practically perfect now!”

Mammon proceeded to fly past them holding what looked like Lucifer’s wallet.

“M-mammon?!”

“Oh... I wonder what he’s doing. Look, MC! It’s Lucifer! Hello Lucifer dea-”

Lucifer ended up colliding with the two of them and sending them all crashing to the floor.

That was the last time MC fell during flying practice.

(We currently have a Go Fund Me set up for Mammon to get the funds necessary to flee the Devildom after that incident. Please donate to save- oh shit hi Lucifer-)

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 4) - Safety Nets

Summary: The reader has her first date with Jensen, a simple dinner at home with him and the kids, but when they get a moment alone, he shares some information about the accident hardly anyone knows. Just as things start to get moving with the pair, Jensen has to head to Canada for filming ahead of schedule but he’s not so sure he can go back to whole weeks away from his family right now...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,200ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, mention of injury, depression, anxiety, self-worth problems

A/N: Shopping buddies are the best ;) Please enjoy!

________

“Can I help set the table?” you asked the next evening, Jensen shaking his head at you.

“JJ, can you set the table for me?” asked Jensen. She jumped up from the couch and got out silverware, setting an extra spot for you.

“Y/N, are you and dad on a date?” she asked when she finished up. You looked down from where you leaned back against the counter, Jensen chuckling.

“Yes we are sweetie. If this goes well I’d like to take Y/N out on Friday, maybe you guys can go to Uncle Jared and Aunt Gen’s,” he said.

“You should go out with dad,” said JJ. 

“Oh I should?” you said, crossing your arms. “Why’s that?”

“Cause he’s strong and handsome and smart and funny and…” she said, holding up her hand and counting on her hand. 

“The hair,” he whispered, a smirk crossing your face.

“Oh and he’s only got a few gray hairs!” she said.

“Oh. Well that is interesting,” you laughed, Jensen smacking himself in the face.

“Great hair, JJ. Not gray. Great,” he said.

“You do have gray whiskers,” she said.

“Like...barely,” he said. “See what I put up with? A few teensy tiny little patches in my beard if it grows out.”

“I don’t know if I can date a man of such frail age,” you said. He cocked his head and you laughed, JJ giggling as she went to get the plates.

“Keep it up you two,” he said. You walked over to him, JJ going past with the plates. “Come to tease some more?”

“I was told you’re quite handsome, thought I’d get a closer look,” you said. 

“You can have as close a look as you want,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Calm yourself, Casanova,” you said, reaching up to the cupboard to get another plate for JJ. “Here sweetie.”

“Thanks,” she said. She set it ran back over, hugging you. “Don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said.

“Good,” she said. You bent down and picked her up, resting her on your hip. 

“Where’d you think I was going?” you asked. She shrugged and Jensen stopped stirring the pot.

“I don’t know. Wherever you were before. Dad’s a lot happier since you live with us now,” she said.

“Well taking care of you three is hard all by yourself,” you said. You set her down and patted her head. “Go get your brother and sister for dinner.”

“You’re good with them,” he said, stirring the pot again.

“They’re people. Small people that don’t know half of what adults do but still people. Sometimes you gotta treat ‘em like it. Most of the time actually,” you said. 

“I talked to her earlier about this whole situation,” he said.

“Besides listing off all your selling points what’d she think?”

“Well apparently she’s in favor of me asking if you’d marry me tonight,” he said.

“Oh. Shotgun wedding. Simple. I like it,” you laughed. He turned his head and smiled, glancing down for a long moment, slowly returning.

“Why doesn’t this situation scare you? The kids, me who has been all over the place lately, not to mention my job, long distance, the shit you get just for-” he said, your hand covering his mouth.

“I didn’t say it’s not a lot, Jensen. It’s scary. Of course it is. Every single one of my relationships has ended badly for one reason or another. Friendships. Family ones. Romantic ones. You’re handsome and you’re so successful and I’m literally a nanny but you said you wouldn’t hurt me. So I’ll trust that you won’t and you trust I won’t hurt you and it’ll work itself out.”

“That simple huh.”

“I’m easy going. Let’s keep it simple,” you said.

“Simple works,” he said as you pulled the pot off the burner before it bubbled over. “Simple definitely works.”

“This is not a good idea,” you said two hours later, the kids in bed, you and Jensen jumping up and down on the trampoline in the yard.

“Oh most certainly not,” he said, landing near you and sending you up. You yelped and landed back down on your bottom, Jensen bouncing again, sending you up again and laughing this time. “Well that’s a cute sound.”

“Boys. Is it taught somewhere that you gotta tease a girl when you like her?” you asked, Jensen pulling you to your feet and bouncing around lightly.

“Right after manly man class, duh,” he said. 

“You would have failed, I can tell you right now,” you said. He scoffed and you shrugged. “That’s kinda a really good thing.”

“That your ex? Tough guy all the time?” he asked.

“Not like, to that extent or anything. I had a bad day and I really needed someone and he let me down. He got mad at me for it actually. He called depression a phase I needed to get over with,” you said. He stopped bouncing and you did the same, glancing down. Next thing you knew he playfully tackled you onto the trampoline, rolling to his side and smiling at you. 

“Some of my friends have it. One of my best friends does. Jared. If he ever knocks on the door late at night or whatever, let him in.”

“You take care of everyone in your life it seems,” you said.

“You take care of the people you care about, not insult them. Hopefully the ex figures that out someday.”

“How’d you figure it out?” 

“I don’t do anything anyone else shouldn’t,” he said.

“Maybe that’s it,” you said. “You’re unapologetically good and you don’t even know how rare that is.”

“It takes up too much energy to be angry or mean or cruel. I’d just rather be happy,” he said.

“You got a lot of friends, don’t you.”

“My fair share,” he said.

“How many would you call close?”

“Maybe ten or so.”

“How many real close?”

“Two or three.”

“How many know what really happened that day? Your wife…” you said. He stared at you and swallowed.

“How do you know?” he asked quietly.

“Because when we met you said she died in an accident but then you said it was her head. You’re holding onto something, something you don’t talk about.”

“She was driving when the aneurysm happened. I was in the car with her. I almost died. It’s seemed easier to lie about that.”

“Who knows?”

“My parents and Jared. They’re the only ones.”

“You ever talk to anyone about it?” 

“I went to talk to someone a few times. I’m better now,” he said with a smile. “I don’t share a lot if you may have guessed already. Not to too many people. But you it feels so easy to.”

“Must be special,” you said. He smiled and reached a hand over, twirling a piece of your hair in his fingers. “That why you like me?”

“There’s a lot of stereotypical reasons to like someone and part of that is true in why you choose someone I suppose. But there’s this other part that when you meet someone that you can’t really explain.”

“I get that. I get all of it. My brain always seems to want to go to the bad scenario first I suppose,” you said. You looked up at the black sky, Jensen toying with another strand between two fingers. “I wish it didn’t do that so much.”

“You’re just trying to protect yourself is all,” he said.

“But I come off as pushy and distant,” you said, turning your head. “Like I’m that person that’s cool with everything being casual.”

“Well think of it like this trampoline. It’s the only thing holding us up right now right?” he asked and you hummed. “Well my life, I’ve had thousands of safety nets below me to catch me when I fall so even if I tore through one, there was more to hold me up while the others got fixed. You never had as many to start and I think more of yours broke and there was no way to fix them in time so you kept tumbling through until you got to the ground.”

“Your point?”

“Maybe some people hit the ground and others never do. But the people who hit the ground, as they go back up they can make the best most solid nets in the world to hold them up. One good net beats a thousand flimsy ones.”

“So at what age do I get the wisdom?” you asked, turning your head and smiling over at him.

“You don’t. My job has made me fall through more nets than I wanted to and this year made me realize I might not have a thousand strong nets at the bottom but I just needed one to get by and now I’m working back up. You’re not even close to being down low either. You’ve already had the hardest part of your life. It’s all up from here.”

You leaned over and he lay back on the trampoline, gazing up at you. You lowered your head as he cupped your cheek, pulling you in close until your lips were touching. Part of your mind was reeling from that in itself but the other half knew that was his first kiss since his wife. You inched back but stayed close, Jensen peeling open his eyes. 

“You okay?” you asked.

“Very,” he said. You lay back beside him, Jensen letting you go. His hand reached out for yours though and laced your fingers together. “Why’d you kiss me?”

“Wanted to,” you said.

“Cool. I wanted to kiss you too,” he said. 

“Alright then.” You stared upwards, the trampoline shifting again. He popped into view propped up on one arm, your head turning slightly. He was flush, even in the dim light. He moved slowly but you let him come to you, a barely there gentle kiss that lingered, a thousand gears going in your head, likely a thousand more going off in his. 

“I’m okay,” he said quietly as he pulled back a few inches. Your fingers carded through his hair and he smiled. “I’ll get the hang of this again. I promise.”

“That was more than enough for one night,” you said. “We said slow and we’ll go slow, okay?”

“Sounds good with me.”

Two Days Later

“Y/N, can I have a word with you in my office?” asked Jensen as you were picking up after dinner. You hummed and put the last fork in the dishwasher before following him down to a quieter part of the house. He shut the door behind you and he ran his hand over his face. “This is about work, my work, but it’s going to involve you. Heavily.”

“What’s up?” you asked, taking a seat in a chair. He sat in his by his desk, scrunching up his face.

“My job with that TV show, The Boys, it films in Canada. I’m gonna need to be up there four, maybe five months. The way things used to work with my wife was I would fly back home every weekend or every other weekend. I never went more than 2 weeks seeing the kids. I don’t have to film every day but it’s easier to stay there for the week. But it’s...it’s difficult for me. It’s difficult for them and...they lost one parent this year. I can’t stay away that long for months. I just can’t do it anymore.”

“That’s perfectly understandable,” you said.

“I’d like to temporarily move to Canada while I film. No flying back and forth. The kids can see me everyday and I can see them. JJ’s school still offers remote learning and I’m homeschool certified in a pinch. Twins can do daycare easy. The only issue I have is the same one I originally did. I still need a nanny. Only now in a different country...and it’s gonna be more late nights on the regular.”

“I see,” you said.

“This isn’t what you signed up for so if you don’t want it, that’s okay. I can find a nanny up there and we can try long distance and-” he said before you stood and walked in front of him.

“I’m in.”

“Really? I mean it’s gonna be awhile before we’re back in the states,” he said.

“It sounds like fun.”

“Awesome. I was really hoping you’d say that,” he said.

“So where are we going?” you asked.

“Toronto. Well, near there. I gotta start filming start of February but there’s promo stuff to do in late January,” he said.

“It’s already late January,” you laughed. “When do we have to move?”

“Uh, tomorrow,” he said. “Just got the call a few hours ago. I got a house to rent lined up already.”

“Oh wow. Alright. Uh, what do I need to do exactly?” you asked.

“Keep stuff normal. Don’t worry about cleaning or anything. Maybe box up anything you want to bring and some of the kids stuff. Toys, books, that stuff. I’ll handle their bags. We’ll ship it all up tomorrow and take a flight up at night,” he said.

“Okay, cool,” you said. “Wait I need like, a snow jacket right?”

“We’ll get you set up there with coat and boots and all that,” he said. 

“Gotcha,” you said, starting to leave before you spun around and walked smack into his chest. “Wait. I have a lot more questions actually. Like...I don’t have a passport?”

“I know which is why tomorrow morning first thing you’re gonna go down to the post office, get your passport done up and when it comes in, we’ll get it shipped up to Canada,” he said.

“How do I get into Canada though?”

“We share a border with them so we bring your license and birth certificate, you can go right on in no problem,” he said.

“Oh. Okay,” you said. “Wait. I’ve never been on an airplane before. What-”

“Okay,” he laughed. “Take a hot second and breathe and we’ll go from there. I know it’s last minute but it’ll work out. I promise.”

“Y/N,” said Jensen, tapping your shoulder two days later. You hummed and reluctantly turned your head away from staring out the back sliding doors to the snow covered yard and trees around you. “Have you ever seen snow before?”

“No. Not like this,” you said, head going back to staring outside. “It’s something out of a movie.”

“You had that same look on your face when we took off last night in the plane.”

“What’s that?”

“Those little moments where the years fall off and you get that childish joy, like nothing bad has ever happened,” he said. 

“I suppose there’s hope for me yet,” you said with a smile.

“Oh there was always that,” he chuckled. He threw an arm over your shoulders and you leaned into him. “Can I still take you out Friday?”

“Who’s gonna watch the kids?” you asked.

“My buddy.”

“Does he exist?” you said, grinning at him. 

“Cute,” he said, ruffling your bedhead. “Yes he does exist. How’s Friday night sound?”

“Do I need a dress?” you asked.

“Probably. It’s a nice place,” he said. “My favorite place in Toronto actually. Jeans are perfectly acceptable there though.”

“I’ll pick out a dress today too,” you said. You kissed his cheek and watched them turn an ever so light pink. “You’re cute.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “Put your boots and coat on the card I gave you alright? That’s a business expense.”

“Whatever you say boss,” you said. “I’m gonna duck out before the little ones get up. I’ll try not to be gone too long.”

“Take your time. Drive slow in the snow until you get the hang of it, okay?”

“I will. I promise.”

“What the fuck’s the difference between therma heat and therma wear…” you mumbled to yourself, gawking at the glove rack at the store an hour later.

“I think it’s just marketing,” said the guy on the other side. You jumped and managed to knock about five pairs off the hangers. He laughed quietly and peeked his head around. “Didn’t mean to spoke ya.”

“It’s alright. I’m…” you said, the man smiling as you shook your head out. “Um...I…”

“You okay?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You nodded and he smiled. “You sure cause you were just having a life crisis over gloves a second ago and now you can’t seem to form a sentence.”

“You’re Home…” you said, shutting your eyes. “You’re the actor that plays...I’m having a fucking day.”

“Looks like it,” he said, bending down and picking up some of the gloves. He laughed again and you got the ones closest to you, putting them back. “You know it’s like ten degrees outside right? Not exactly sneaker weather.”

“I know. This place looks pretty but it’s worse than a Texas summer almost with how cold it is.”

“I thought you sounded not from here,” he said with a smile. “I’m not from around here either. I do better with the heat myself.”

“Okay um, listen...uh, what’s your name, not Homelander?” you asked.

“Antony,” he chuckled again.

“I’m Y/N. I’m just gonna get the weird stuff out of the way cause…” you said as he smiled but stepped back a foot. “Yeah. Um I’m a fan but like...do you know Jensen Ackles?”

“Why?” he asked.

“He’s my boss...and my boyfriend but that’s another story. We might run into each other at some point, probably very likely. Just wanted to throw that out there.”

“Your boss?” he asked.

“I nanny his kids. I wouldn’t believe me if I were you either. I should go,” you said. You groaned when you were past him, hearing a pair of feet jog to catch up with you. 

“I know you. You were on his instagram last week right? Yeah okay, that makes sense why a clueless Texas girl is stressing over gloves.”

“Excuse me?” He shook his head and smiled. 

“Get a pair of thick gloves, thinner ones but not too thin, a warm hat, good boots for traction along with some boot spray and go with a longer hooded parka. It’ll be warmer. Throw in a few pairs of wool socks to be sure,” he said.

“Oh. Thank you,” you said. You looked back at the store and then to him. “There’s like five hundred coats in here.”

“How about you buy me a cup of coffee and I’ll help you out. Deal?”

“Why would you help me?” you asked.

“Well I’m gonna be working with Jensen quite a bit and he’s your boyfriend too apparently plus it’s just nice,” he said.

“You’re so not like your character.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. We’ll be out of here in an hour tops.”

Antony turned out to be very helpful since apparently you had an uncanny ability to be attracted to the least warmth rated items in the whole store. But you had your parka and boots on now, other items tucked away in the bags as you browsed through a rack of black dresses at a different store.

“We dress shopping now?” said Antony, sipping on his coffee cup.

“Dude,” you said, jumping again. “You gotta learn to make noise.”

“It’s my natural stealth,” he said. “That one.”

“What?”

“That one,” he said, nodding to a dress on the wall.

“I can’t pull that one off,” you said.

“Try it. I’ll watch your stuff,” he said.

“You’re oddly nice,” you said. “To a stranger.”

“Well this beats my plans of walking around the mall buying crap I don’t need. Besides, I like you.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I’m taken,” he laughed. “Come on. Everybody needs a shopping buddy.”

“Okay but if you’re a weirdo Jensen will kick your ass,” you said, finding your size and taking it off the rack. “Just sayin’.”

“I like the guy more already,” he said. “It’s not like it’s your first date or anything.”

“...Second date.” He stared and looked away. “It’s…complicated.”

“I heard about...you know…the accident,” he said. 

“Let him bring that up,” you said and he nodded. You took the dress into the changing room and smirked at the mirror. “Alright, maybe we give this one a shot.”

You changed back and found Antony on a bench outside. 

“I should take you shopping more often,” you said. “You have good taste.”

“Sounds like a winner,” he said, handing you back your bags. “I gotta head out for work but it was nice meeting you, Y/N. I’m sure I’ll see you around very soon.”

“Me too. Thanks for the help today, really.”

“Not a problem at all. See ya later,” he said as he headed out. You gave him a wave and picked out a pair of black heels to go with the dress before you were heading home.

“Hey Jensen,” you said late that night. He’d had to go in for some photos in the afternoon and had taken quite a bit longer than he’d anticipated. “Leftovers are in the container on the top shelf.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. He rubbed his eyes and padded into the kitchen before tossing the container in the microwave.

“Um, Jensen? Can I talk to you about work?” you asked. His ears perked up and he nodded while he looked around for a spoon. “Second drawer to the left.”

“Thanks,” he said. “So what’s up? Something wrong?”

“Not exactly. I was thinking earlier though about a backup plan,” you said. He took out the container and grabbed his spoon sitting across from you at the table.

“What’s a backup plan?” he asked, shoveling a spoonful of too hot pasta into his mouth.

“Well down in Austin, say I was suddenly unable to perform my job duties cause I’m sick or hurt or I’m off on vacation or whatever. Down there I have a network of other nannies that could step in temporarily, they can do a pick up or drop off in a bind, that sort of thing. It’s kind of a support group in way. It’s good for me and for you.”

“They must have one of those things up here?” he asked, taking a slower bite this time. You spun your computer around and he nodded. “Tornanny. That’s cute. You gotta sign up or something?”

“I need to take a four hour class. They have one on Saturday morning. Is it okay if I sign up?” you asked. He chuckled and took another bite of food.

“Weekends are still yours to do as you please. I need a bit more help during weeknights or mornings but weekends are still yours. I’m also compensating your pay for the additional time and no you’re not winning that argument so don’t even try.”

“Okay. I’m gonna sign up,” you said, turning the computer back.

“What was that thing on the side?” he asked.

“Hm?” you said as you started filling in the form.

“Some happy hour thing on the side,” he said. You flicked your eyes over to the side of the page and saw the group posting. “That could be fun.”

“Do I look like the kind of person that goes to happy hours?” you said.

“Well maybe you could meet a nanny friend in this group, one you could maybe get to cover for you if you ever needed it. I did steal you away from everything you know to a different country with a days notice after all. I’d go with you if you want,” he said. 

“What about the kids?”

“Hm?”

“Jensen. I’m starting to see a fatal flaw in me being the nanny and us dating. I’m the person that should be watching the kids when you go out,” you said.

“Hm,” he said, eating for a few moments. “You do have a point. I think we need to renegotiate your contract.”

“Wait you’re firing me?” you said, Jensen shaking his head and laughing. “Okay cause you were about to lose a girlfriend for a second there.”

He smiled to himself and looked down, playing with his dinner. 

“So what are you talking about?” you asked.

“Well, girlfriend,” he chuckled. “How about this? Weekends you don’t work, at all, for any reason. If you watch the kids for an hour while I duck to the store, it’s cause you’re doing it cause of us, not as part of your job. If we want to go out or on a date on the weekend, we’ll get a sitter. I had a go to in Vancouver when I lived there. I’ll give her a call, see if she knows anyone out here that would work. That sound good?”

“I guess that���s alright,” you said. He raised and eyebrow and you shrugged. “I enjoy our alone time, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to take away from them though.”

“I appreciate the sentiment but I’m not saying…” he said before he trailed off and ate the last bites of his food. “I moved us so they could see me everyday which is far more than they ever did when I filmed my show. I will still make them breakfast. I will still put them to bed. I will still have lunch with them and play with them and all of it. They’ll always by my first priority. But a relationship with kids doesn’t always mean the kids are around. Sometimes they come with, sometimes they stay home. I’m not talking about ditching them for days on end. A few hours on a Saturday night, most of which they’ll be in bed asleep is all I’m talking about. We have a right to a little bit of time for ourselves. It’s not as easy with them than it was the first time around but we just have to try harder is all.”

“Okay,” you said. “I’m good with that. How was your first day?”

“Good. We did a lot of promotional stuff. I won’t start acting until next week. I heard you met Antony shopping today.”

“Yeah. I didn’t get a chance to tell you when I got home earlier. He seems like a nice guy.”

“He does. He invited us to dinner once we settle into a routine,” he said. “Apparently you two are shopping buddies now.”

“The man does know how to choose a dress.”

“Good thing I packed my lucky suit up here,” he said. 

“Speaking of suits...you wouldn’t happen to have any of you in your Soldier Boy suit from today?” 

“No spoilers,” he said with a smirk. You jutted out your lip and he rolled his eyes, taking out his phone. He tapped and slid it over to you, your eyes wide. You must have stared for a solid minute before you looked over at him, Jensen leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head and a huge grin on his face. “You think I’m hot, don’t you.”

“Pft, no,” you said, biting your bottom lip before you licked it. He was still grinning out of the corner of your eye and you gave him the phone back. “Maybe...you’re kinda hot. But it’s totally the suit. Like right now, ugh, horrendous.”

“Nah, I’m hot,” he said, sticking out his stomach and rubbing it.

“I’m impressed you can actually do that,” you said. 

“Everybody’s got a tummy,” he said. “Seriously though, you think the suit is cool?”

“It looks awesome. I’d love to see it in person,” you said.

“Oh you guys will be on set at some point,” he said. “I’m kinda nervous about next week.”

“Really? Why? You’re a great actor.”

“Have you ever seen a single thing I’ve done,” he chuckled.

“I did in fact see that horror movie on a date years ago. Something with like mining?” you asked. 

“That’s what you saw? Like that movie? I hope the date worked out at least,” he said with a big smirk.

“Actually it was the crappy ex,” you said.

“Oh. You guys must have dated for a long time then.”

“Since we were seventeen,” you said. He stared and you shrugged. “I kept waiting for him to grow up and change. Eventually I realized he never would.”

“Did you love him?”

“I loved the idea of him. I liked him. I was with him for close to 12 years so I obviously liked him. But it wasn’t love. I could never be myself all the way around him and that’s not a way to live. There was none of that feeling when you first meet someone, you know?”

“Would I be pushing to ask if you ever thought about marrying the guy?”

“He did propose actually. A few times,” you said. “I turned him down. Things really went downhill from there though.”

“Why’d you say no?”

“I didn’t want to marry someone that made me feel bad about being me. Got tired of him telling me to get over everything that happened as a kid, dress a certain way, should I really have dessert, that kind of crap.”

“It’s part of who you are. I wouldn’t exactly call your past something to get over,” said Jensen. “Why would he even make you feel bad about it? You’re so normal.”

“I don’t think his daddy hugged him enough,” you said.

“No need to be a dick to other people for it,” he said. You smiled as you finished filling out the rest of the form for the class before sending it off. “Hey on the plus side I did get a good recommendation for daycare today. I was gonna check it out tomorrow morning, maybe get the twins in next week. Apparently they’re also hooked up with a school so JJ can go to school with some other American kids too instead of being stuck behind a screen here all day.”

“That’s great news. She can make some new friends that way. You know I was thinking maybe she could get signed up for indoor soccer. When I played the new season normally started right at the beginning of February.”

“Is it safe?” he asked. “I thought that could get pretty dangerous.”

“Adult leagues can be but kids her age it’s just running back and forth mostly. She could make some new friends, give her something fun to look forward to.”

“It’s not a bad idea. I would like her to be involved in something since she’s out of dance and soccer back home right now. I’ll talk it over with her in the morning,” he said. “She say something to you about it?”

“No. I just know what it’s like to be the new kid,” you said. “Soccer helped me make friends at school.”

“You and your mom move after your dad passed?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah. I was little so I don’t remember so much,” you said, an email coming in that your spot in the class was reserved. “Alright. Looks like I’m all set for eight on Saturday.”

“I’ll try not to keep you out too late on Friday night then,” he said.

“I never said that.”

“I like flirty you,” he said, both of you looking up at the ceiling when you heard a loud pair of giggles. “Duty calls. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jensen.”

________

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[nebulablakemurphy]

Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Part 2)

Jacob Black x Fem!VampireSwan!Reader

Summary: Jacob Black, alpha of his pack, would never fall in love with a bloodsucker, much less imprint on one. The problem is that Y/N Swan was human…until she wasn’t anymore.

Prologue | Part One

“Hey stranger.” Bella greets her sister, in the hallway after biology class.

“Hey,” Y/N bumps her shoulder gently.

Bella rocks forward with the force of it. Rubbing the skin to soothe it, “ow.”

“Sorry.” Y/N apologizes, looking away awkwardly.

“It’s fine um…you must be like super ripped.”

“I think I’m just used to being surrounded by guys,” Y/N tries to talk her away out of it.

“Right,” Bella nods, not sure she’s buying it. “Gotta toughen up I guess.”

“And also check that the toilet seat is down.” Y/N smiles. “I learned the hard way.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” Bella laughs, nearly tripping over her own feet as they continue down the hall. “So um…I was actually hoping I could ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I see you hang around the Cullens.”

“They’re very nice.” The Y/H/C chokes out.

Bella shakes her head, “I just had class with Edward. What’s his deal?”

“Edward is,” Y/N pauses, searching for the right words. “Did something happen?”

“He stared at me for forty five minutes and then tried to transfer out of the class.” Bella frowns at the memory.

Y/N’s brows pull together, “really?”

“Do you think you could talk to him? Otherwise I will, he’s my lab partner and it’s really uncomfortable.” Bella presses the issue farther.

“I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ll talk to him.” Y/N shifts her books between arms, out of habit.

“Thanks.” Bella watches her intently, “so do you have plans for tonight?”

“Dad normally takes me down to the diner for peach cobbler on Fridays.” Y/N tells her, “I’m surprised he didn’t invite you.”

“He did. I just didn’t know if maybe you and Jacob-“

“He might show up later,” the vampire admits, embarrassment creeping up her throat.

“Jake’s pretty intense nowadays.” Bella chews her bottom lip.

“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Y/N shrugs.

“Is everything ok?” Maybe she is about to spill the beans.

“You know how boyfriends can be.”

“Actually I don’t,” Bella squints at her, “that’s one thing that I don’t have to worry about.”

“You’re a free bird. That’s pretty cool too.

“Nobody to hover over me,” Bella agrees.

“I can hover,” Y/N offers, “if it’ll make you feel better.”

Bella groans, “please don’t.”

“I’ll see you at dinner then?”

“I’ll see you.”

———————————————————————

“Edward, my friend. I need to have a word with you.” Y/N finds him, just about to escape into the driver’s seat of his Volvo.

“What for?” He grumbles, ever the tortured soul.

“Bella said you stared at her.” The Y/H/C informs him, rocking back on her heels.

“She’s new,” as if Y/N needs reminding, “everyone stares.”

“For an entire biology class?”

Edward leans in, his words only for her ears. “Something could’ve happened. But it didn’t.”

“What could’ve happened?” Y/N demands.

“I’ve never wanted a human’s blood so badly in all my years.”

“So the solution to that was really intense eye contact?” Y/N tries to make sense of it.

“I had to remind myself…I needed to see her as a person.” Edward closes his eyes against the unwanted thoughts. “I know it sounds odd.”

“Ok a year ago my boyfriend turned into a large dog for the first time, chopped off the hair he’s been growing since we were kids and imprinted on me.”

“Imprinted?” Edward tests out the word.

“It’s a whole wolf thing,” Y/N waves a dismissive hand. “Then I became a blood drinking demon with a body temp of negative ten; and sometimes when we touch it makes a sizzling noise.”

Edward’s brow furrows farther. “Really?”

“Like a frying pan.” She adds, “point being, nothing is odd to me anymore. My only question is what are you going to do about it?”

“Every other class is full that period. My only option is to hunt more frequently.” Edward elaborates, clearly having put thought into it. “You can apologize on my behalf. I’ll do so myself as well.”

Y/N nods, “just steer clear of strangeness around Bella. She’s already starting to get suspicious.”

“She told you that?”

“She didn’t have to,” Y/N shakes her head. “I know her.”

“When you tap into my ability…are you able to read her mind?” Edward wonders, eyes dark and intense.

“No.” Y/N realizes, “why?”

Edward purses his lips, “I can’t either.”

“Because of her blood?” Maybe it’s a vampire thing.

“I don’t think so. But I couldn’t be sure until I asked you.” Edward cocks his head to the side.

“You could’ve just read my thoughts.” Y/N points out, taping a finger against the strap of her backpack.

“You told me to stop.”

“What, now you listen to me?” She scoffs, that’s never stopped him before.

Edward chuckles. “You should step back a bit.”

“Why?” The newborn asks.

“Mike, Eric, and the others are taking bets on whether or not your going to kiss me.” He arches a full brow.

“Ew,” Y/N pulls away.

“Don’t worry,” Edward’s tongue darts across his lips, “you’re not my type.”

———————————————————————

“So Bells, you survived your first week in Forks. How’s school treating ya?” Charlie asks, taking a bite out of his burger.

“Honestly,” she pauses to consider, “not too bad. Everyone is very welcoming.”

“Good,” their father nods, “sure it helped having Y/N there to show you around.”

“Yeah,” Bella’s eyes land on her sister. “It’s been awesome.”

“Do you need anything else? Supply wise? I could take you into town this weekend.”

“I’m good.” Bella assures the chief, around a mouthful of fries. “Thank you, for everything.”

“Alright,” Charlie stares down at his plate. “How about you Y/N?”

“You spoil me Dad.” She narrows her eyes at him, picking at the food on her plate. It tastes like shit and whatever she eats she has to throw up. Normally she can sneak some to Jacob, but tonight she’s not so lucky.

“You’re mine to spoil.” Her father points his fork at her. “Only got a few years left, Jake’s chomping at the bit.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “stop.”

“Surprised he’s not here yet.” Charlie turns his attention to the diner entrance, half expecting to find him there.

“He got tied up with something,” Y/N explains, scratching her head for show. “School project I think. I’ll be sure to let him know he was missed.”

———————————————————————

That night Jacob calls instead of visiting. Y/N can feel that something is off.

“Jacob.” She answers after the first ring.

“Hey, honey,” he breathes. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Is something wrong?” She wonders, heart in her throat.

“Up in Mason county, there’s been some activity.” Jake informs her. “People are talking bears, some kind of animal.”

“You disagree?” He must or he wouldn’t be there.

“Not sure yet,” he mulls it over again. “I brought Sam with me to check it out.”

“So what now?” Y/N demands, staring longingly out her bedroom window as she eases it shut.

“Now we wait, stake out the area.” The wolf is all business.

“Should I come to Mason?” Y/N offers, she has nothing better to do. “Do you need back up?”

“No, you sit tight.”

“I could sit on you.” It’s a terrible joke, but Jacob’s laugh fills the line and she doesn’t care.

“I miss you,” he whispers.

“I miss you too,” Y/N debates heading to Mason county anyway.

“Tell me about school,” Jacob replies. Anything to keep her on the line. “How was your day? What did I miss?”

“Not much since I seen you yesterday,” Y/N snarks, no heat behind her words. “But Edward’s got something going on with Bella.”

“Am I supposed to know what that means? Or do you wanna give me some context here?” Leaves crackle beneath the sole of his shoe.

“How much time do you have?” Y/N sighs, toying with the dreamcatcher that hangs from her bedpost. Jake gave it to her, so it stays although she no longer has any use for it.

“As much as you need.” For her there’s always time.

———————————————————————

A couple days later Bella brings up Edward again. Only now for an entirely different reason.

He saved her life by stopping a van from crushing her. He stopped it with his bare hand.

“Bella, are you ok? Let’s get you to my car. I’ll drive you to the hospital.” Y/N says, putting an arm around her sister and leading her away from the crowd that had formed around the two vehicles.

“How’d Edward do that?” Bella stammers, her thoughts jumbled.

“Do what?” Y/N keeps her focus on the pavement.

“He stopped the van.” Bella is not about to let this go.

“You hit your head,” Y/N brushes a bit of hair behind her sister’s ear.

“I know what I saw.” The brunette snaps, climbing into the passenger seat.

“I’ll call Dad,” Y/N attempts to redirect the conversation. “Tell him to meet us at the hospital.”

“It would be humanly impossible for him to get there that fast, he was clear across the parking lot.” Bella mutters mostly to herself as Y/N fills their father in on the incident.

“Just…put the seat back and relax.” Y/N hangs up a moment later, stuffing the device into her back pocket.

“You know something,” Bella accuses. “I can see it in your eyes, you get skittish whenever I bring it up. But I know you know. And I think it has something to do with whatever happened to you a month ago.”

“Edward didn’t make me sick.”

“Maybe you were never sick,” Bella challenges.

Y/N keeps her eyes set on the road.

“You don’t have to tell me, but I wish you’d toss me a bone here.” Bella will take any information she can get.

“If I could I would.” It would be so much easier.

“Is it like a cult or something?” Why else would she have a gag order?

“Not a cult.” Y/N corrects her, “got any other theories?”

“Still working on it.” Bella replies with fierce determination.

———————————————————————

The animal attacks move closer to town. Y/N’s been keeping a close eye on her sister. Strangely enough Edward is too. She has a sneaking suspicion it’s because Edward can’t read Bella’s mind.

That weekend Bella heads into Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica from school. Y/N doesn’t want to overstep, but she does need a dress for prom. Perfect opportunity to stay close.

“You call this subtle?” Jacob chuckles, watching his girlfriend weave through traffic on the freeway, to keep Jessica’s car within sight line.

“What?” Y/N frowns, “you need a tux, I need a dress. Port Angeles has both.”

“I meant the car, baby.” Jacob motions out the front windshield. “We’re all going to the same place. Let her breathe.” He places a hand on her thigh, squeezing lightly.

Y/N eases off the gas, letting the car cruise at a relaxed pace. “Sorry.”

“What color are we thinking for a dress?” Jake asks, hoping to distract her. “Because I���m picturing you in a hot little red number.”

She swats at him, “shut up.”

“Rude.” He flicks her in retaliation, eyes lingering on the single charm bracelet that lies against her wrist. “I’m adding to that soon.”

“Jake,” she murmurs, “I have enough. You really don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Jacob argues.

“It’s too much,” Y/N protests halfheartedly, “and I’m unskilled at crafting. Otherwise you’d be showered with gifts, daily.”

“I don’t need gifts,” Jacob is more than content, “being with you is enough.”

“Baby-“

“It’s different for you. I know your feelings for me aren’t as…intense.” Jacob doesn’t mind. “But when I imprinted-“

Y/N remembers.

Jacob hadn’t seen her in days, since the first time he turned. From a boy, into a man, into a wolf…an alpha.

He knows what he has to do. He has to keep her safe. Even if that means that he can never see her again.

When Y/N finally tracks him down Jacob is prepared. Having practiced the monologue over and over in his head.

Jacob knows that the words will burn his throat. He knows that his heart will break.

“Jake, what the hell is going on?” The Y/H/C is fuming.

“Y/N-“ his eyes find hers and time stops. His mouth hangs open and he falls to his knees at her feet.

A thousand images of her flood his mind. And if there was ever a doubt, he now knows she is his. Made for him and he for her.

“Hey,” Y/N bends down. Brown eyes full of tears as she cups his face.

Jacob nuzzles against the palm of her hand and then plants countless kisses there. “It’s you.”

Y/N nods. “I’m here, I’m right here.”

“I need you,” Jacob all but sobs, “I love you.”

“I love you so much.” She assures him. “And I’m gonna be here, with you, through whatever is going on. I just need you to talk to me.”

At this Jacob loses any composure he’d been holding onto, crying his relief and frustration and overwhelming sadness into the crook of her neck.

It’s a day neither of them will soon forget. Things got better after that, after they had each other.

But Jacob’s wrong. She needs him to know that. “I’m like crazy in love with you. I may not have imprinted, but what I feel for you is very intense.”

Jacob grins so wide it could split his face. “I just meant that,” how can he even explain it? “Being away from you feels like I’ll never see the sun again.”

Guilt twists like a knife in her belly. “You’ll have to stay close to me then.”

“That’s the plan.” It always has been.

“Can I ask you something?” Y/N wonders, having finally mustered up the courage.

“Anything,” Jacob replies.

“You told me once that you thought Quilutes are designed to imprint on those most likely to pass down the wolf gene.”

“In a nutshell.” He nods, toying with the seam of her jeans. “But it’s more than that.”

“Vampires can’t have babies.” Y/N wishes it wasn’t true, “so in theory couldn’t you imprint on someone else?”

“Doesn’t work that way, it’s for life.” Jacob dismisses the idea. “Besides I’m not entirely sure I buy the no kids thing. Sam has a theory.”

“You told Sam about my…fertility issues?”

Jacob turns his gaze out the window, “our issues.”

Y/N blinks at him. “Do you want kids?”

“I want everything with you.” Jacob thought he’d made that perfectly clear.

Y/N’s mouth falls open. “I-“ she freezes, unable to form a coherent thought.

“You don’t have to say it back.”

He does so much for her, and asks for so little in return. “What’s the theory?”

“You really wanna know?” It sounds ridiculous out loud.

“Please,” she insists. Hanging on his every word.

“Well, the main reason vampires can’t have kids is because their bodies can’t change to accommodate a baby.” Jacob has thought about it forward, backward and sideways.

“Right,” Y/N nods, skeptically.

“What if the fetus could stay small enough that you wouldn’t have to grow?”

“You lost me,” she attempts to make sense of it.

“Wolves change when they sense vampires in the area.” Jacob knows it’s crazy, but their lives are nothing short of crazy.

“Mhm,” the Y/H/C hums.

“So if a wolf was inside a vampire-“

“You think I can have puppies?” Y/N runs a hand over her forehead.

“In theory,” Jacob clarifies. Hoping he hasn’t scared her off.

“By that logic we should definitely be using protection.”

Jacob’s expression is unreadable. “I guess so.”

“Unless you want to test it?” Y/N is open to it, the idea of children. Jacob’s children.

“Not right this second,” Jake huffs a laugh. “I’d like to graduate first, have our own place, make you Mrs. Black. Only if you want to,” he adds.

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” Y/N confesses, “if I can’t give you a litter.”

“I’m happy with just us, I always will be. All I’m saying is that we have options. If and when you want to, there are things we can try.” He lifts her hand to his lips.

The vampire melts, her gaze finding his.

“Eyes on the road,” Jacob chastises.

Part 3

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Hi! Could I get HC from the guys? 👀 How they would always react to catching the reader seeing them "badly", in addition to the fact that he usually avoids them, but with his brothers it is incredible and they feel bad because they think they do not like him.  But she actually likes them and she looks at them like that because she "studies" them to draw them and she is too clumsy and shy to talk to them, that's why she ends up avoiding them. Until finally he catches her drawing them with lots of hearts or maybe they'll find her notebook with lots of portraits of them.

It's kind of funny because when I study people to draw them, they think that I look at them with hatred xd maybe I should increase my glasses prescription

God, glasses are such a pain in the ass but I have to wear them. If I don't anyone within my near vicinity doesn't have a face. But why they gotta get dirty so easily???? Makes me wanna explode or something

TMNT Headcanons

The boys w/ a quiet reader who is fine with his brothers but acts cold around him and stares a lot

Michaelangelo

mikey couldn't describe his disappointment upon realizing that you didn't want to be friends with him

well, you never actually said that to him

but he was pretty sure it was the case

you'd never made an effort to be friends with him

stared at him an awful lot though, but there was always something off about your gaze when you looked at him

like you were sizing him up, scrutinizing him, like he was an opponent

it kinda worried him

to add to that, you didn't even attempt to look embarrassed when he caught you staring

you'd just stare harder

on your end it was quite the opposite

you always found the brothers fascinating and you LOVED studying their anatomy, you'd confessed this to Donnie early on and he happily indulged in your questions

and you loved how easily you got along with the boys

well, except for Mikey

but it wasn't for a lack of trying

whenever the orange sporting turtle came around your normally flamboyant personality crept back into its little corner and hid

any words of excitement that had previously been with you died in your throat

for the longest time you didn't understand it

and you hated not understanding things, so you turned to your only outlet

that's how you ended up with an entire sketchbook full of the youngest brother in vastly different styles and poses

you had a separate book for the others, none of them as detailed as this

and when you stared to analyze you'd fallen into a habit of not looking away when caught

by your logic, if you stared back hard enough he'd look away first or just assume you'd zoned out

he didn't

and on one hectic day you'd left your sketchbook open on the kitchen table in your rush to get to work

you hadn't even noticed the slip up until Leo texted you to let you know during your shift

instant panic

in truth, Mikey was the one who discovered the book upon waking up from his nap and he'd spent the next three hours analyzing every drawing

when you finally dropped in after work to grab your book the turtle was waiting for you with it in hand

he'd asked you if you hated him

you told him no and accepted your sketchbook from him

he was relieved and screaming excitedly, just in his head

"Do you maybe wanna hang out sometime?"

You sighed in relief and nodded

"If you're cool with it- you don't think I'm weird do you?"

"I mean- you are talking to a turtle..."

you lightly shoved his chest and smiled, although it faded within a second

"Oh hush, 10 o'clock tomorrow? I'll bring snacks."

he was so stunned he could only shoot you finger guns in approval

Donatello

Donnie genuinely couldn't understand your unease around him

he'd followed all the proper expectations of holding a conversation

he was polite and engaging

so why wouldn't you talk to him?

this boy has read so many social blogs to try and figure out what he was doing wrong and he just couldn't put his finger on it

you were fine with the rest of his brothers, you'd stay up for hours laughing and gaming with them

you'd even sat still long enough to listen to Leo explain some old Japanese myth that he'd read about in a book

but with him it was always a quick, cordial greetings and farewells with bland small talk in between

Donnie had picked up pretty quickly that you weren't interested in any sort of interaction with him

and he convinced himself that that was okay

but that didn't explain the staring

he'd caught you in the act several times, eyes narrowed and locked on him

especially when you were alone with him in a room or just in the lair

the poor turtle just couldn't put his finger on it

then he caught you drawing, he noticed early on that you always carried a small sketchbook on your person but he didn't think much of it

and it wasn't so much that he caught you drawing, in fact, he wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't snapped at him while he was trying to do a sudoku puzzle

"Damn it Donnie! Stop moving! If I fuck this arm up one more time I'm gonna decompose!"

he'd quickly moved back into the position he was in prior

"sorry?"

but you'd gone silent again, occasionally glancing up from your work and running your eyes along his frame before looking down again

nearly twenty minutes later Donnie had finished the puzzle and it seemed as though you had finished your drawing

"Uh- can I ask what are you-"

"I'm drawing you but you kept moving your arm and making me mess up. You always do that when I draw you so every damn picture I have of you stays a sketch because you always come out looking like a fucking octopus."

He just stared

"Sorry, I uh- I didn't mean to explode on you like that. I'm just- I'm really bad at talking to you okay? It's so easy with everyone else but you've just gotta be so damn smart all the time and I worry that you'll think I'm boring so I just... don't talk to you?"

Donnie is stunned™

You refuse to show him the drawing until you can complete the line art and color it

But at least he knows that you don't hate him

Leonardo

To be completely honest Leo didn't mind that you were distant from him

You created an aura of calm when you were around and you always managed to distract his brothers while you were present

And he enjoyed the alone time

But after a few months that calm acceptance turned into jealousy

Not that he would ever admit it

He would just push it off and ignore it, that usually seemed to work

So why wasn't it?

And your obvious staring problem didn't help at all

Leo didn't spend much time considering his appearance but something about your gaze made him self conscious

And he hated that with a passion

Why was it that you could hold entire debates with his siblings? Even his dad for gods sake. You'd have hour long conversations on almost everything but whenever he tried to say hello you'd make up some lame ass excuse and scamper away

He just wanted an explanation

It appeared that the answer resided in your sketchbook

You'd left it open on the couch when Raph had called you away to spar with him

Leo very delicately flipped through the pages, careful not to disturb some of the polaroid pictures of his brothers

He was admittedly surprised to find pictures of himself among the pages

One of him in a handstand, another of him meditating, there was even one of him mid sneeze that you'd recreated with pencil and paper

The image of his eyes was the most startling, but the book held no polaroid of his eyes

You drew them from memory

And he was shocked when you returned to the room and didn't immediately panic

But that might have been because he didn't try to withhold your book from you

"It took me three months to color them, your eyes. I could never get the shade of blue just right."

"I'm gonna be honest with you y/n, I really thought you didn't like me."

You had the nerve to roll your eyes and follow it with a laugh

"I don't. I mean- I do but no, you just remind me a lot of myself and I haven't exactly figured out why yet. I thought that maybe if I drew you it'd be easier to figure you out..."

"Well did it help?"

You grinned

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

Raphael

If there was one thing Raph hated it was not understanding something that was right in front of him

which is ironic, as a much younger version of himself probably couldn't care less

and a part of him wishes he didn't care about it so much

he wishes that your blatant avoidance of him didn't upset him

but shit, it got under his skin better than any needle ever could

was it too much to ask for you to just tell him what he said or did wrong?

was he asking too much of you?

but on the same scale you'd never shown obvious dislike towards him, you were never rude and you sure as hell didn't talk shit about him to his brothers

you got along great with them

in fact it was getting more difficult to remember a time before you became a part of his family

he'd become so used to your presence that it no longer put him off when he found you hanging around the lair

but in another sense he was certain that you hadn't spoken more than three sentences to him in your time knowing him or his family

so what was the reason

several months in he finally caught onto the staring, your narrow, glassy gaze locked onto his body and refusing to look away

he stared right back at you

this annoyed you for several reasons

because within five seconds your very peaceful drawing session had turned into a staring contest and your eyes were getting VERY dry

then you exhaled in a half-sigh and looked back down at your paper

"Huh, I guess your head is more of an oblong shape..."

he took offense to this

"What tha' hell is that supposed t'mean?"

now your eyes held more of an amused silent judgement, you begrudgingly held up your sketchbook

"I'm drawing you, you fucking walnut."

"Oh..."

now you rolled you eyes and tossed the book to him, he nearly dropped it and fumbled with the pages

your annoyance was quickly growing

"Careful with that."

He flipped through the pages at a snails pace, assumingly because he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing

you had some real talent

when he looked back up at you he was wearing that crooked smile

"and here I was thinkin' that my eyes were just green."

Hope I was able to get this down pretty well! I really enjoyed writing this one! Thanks for the patience!

-Mars 🌠

[turtle-go-brrrr]

4 times Leonardo was a dork and the time he wasn’t

Heya! I adore the "strong stoic character does something embarrassing or dumb" trope, and Leo has been left behing from that one. Also, my fervent Leo Simp Friend said these were all good ideas and I trust his judgment completely, so it's also for him. Enjoy, you Dork-ass Looser (affectionate) @weird-flex-but-ok

I have one of these "4 times ______ and 1 time ______" stories for each of them, I just got really inspired by him all of a sudden. But they're coming!

There might be a few typos here and there, but I really don't wanna wait any longer to post it :3

Requested: No

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 2500 +

Triggers: cursing, injuries, blood, intrusion

Summary: You were always sort of intimidated by the leader in blue, but a series of events shows you he might not be as serious as he wants you to think.

__________________________________________

First time

It took you a while to get along with all of them.

Not because you didn't trust them, or because they made it difficult, and certainly not because they're mutants. You're just not that good with new people, and you tend to shy away. Especially when you have New York's heroes in front of you.

So yeah. It took a while. But soon enough, you warmed up to your new friends, and you had a great time. Mikey was the first who made you feel welcomed, always asking questions about you and insisting you came to the lair in the first place. Donnie followed soon, after you started asking about what he was working on. It took a bit more work to get closer to Raph, but it turns out sarcasm was the way to go.

If only their leader was as approachable.

He never made you feel unsafe or unwelcomed, don’t get me wrong, he just kept a professional distance with you, which started to become quite painful as time went on. You tried not to take it personally, thinking he maybe was as shy as you were.

You had time anyway.

It was early in the evening when you made your way to the lair. For the first time since you met the turtles, you went there alone. You were a little nervous, thinking you might get lost in the maze of tunnels under the city, but figured you could just call someone if anything happened. Lucky for you, you found your way to your friend’s place, but not without hustle.

As you entered, you realized it was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sounds you could here were the faint music and the not so faint curses from Donatello’s lab. The smart decision seemed to be leave him alone, which is exactly what you did.

You haven’t been here long enough to know where to find the others, and as you didn’t exactly felt like staying alone in the living space, you tried finding your way to the dojo, as it was one of the other places you knew well.

Of course, now you got lost. Venturing into the sewers was fine, but walking into your friend's home wasn't, apparently.

You found something else, however. This particular tunnel led to a room you could identify as someone's room. You could see the large bed in the middle of the room, a small table with a bottle of water, a book, and a makeshift alarm. A set of twin swords were hanging on the right wall, just above a small bookshelf.

On your left was another table with a (healthy, you noted) bonsai tree, and next to that was Leonardo, facing a mirror. He had his right arm lifted up to his head, and was looking right to you through the mirror.

He looked absolutely horrified.

What the fuck.

He slowly rubbed his face in his hands, let out a long sigh, and turned to you, more tense than you've ever seen him. He cleared his throat as you pince your lips in a thin line to hold back a smile.

"Hello, Y/N. I... didnt think you'd come in so early."

Despite the badly lit room, you can see him bite the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah, uh, I didnt mean to... interrupt you," you say. Your voice is slightly shaking as it takes all of your willpower not to burst out laughing. And he definitely notices.

"You didn't! I uh, wasn't doing anything anyway. So, tell me- what brings you to the lair?" He asks, avoiding your eyes.

"Oh, Mikey invited me, he said I wasnt allowed to skip on movie night. You know how strong willed he is," you smirks, unable to handle it much longer.

Stiff as a board, you see the corner of his mouth twitching and hear him whisper, "... I wasn't flexing."

Silence.

You snort laugh hard enough to choke on it as you quickly turn around to hold yourself against the wall, the insanity of the situation crashing on you. Leo sat at the foot of his bed, head in his hands, and you could see him shake in repressed laughter once you wiped your tears away.

You sit next to him after finally calming down from the hysteria. He sighs, straightens his back and gives you a side glance.

"I'm not judging."

"You're still laughing, though."

"Yeah, but like, I guess I just wasn't expecting that. Still not judging."

He nods, still smiling. His voice is at least 3 octaves higher when he asks, "Please, don't tell the others."

"And what, give them the privilege of knowing about your little... ritual? Nah, don't worry about it."

_______________________

Second time

The second time your assumptions about the leader were subverted happended only two weeks after the... incident.

You had invited the whole crew to your place for the very first time, and they were all excited to come. You made a copious dinner: a few veggie cakes, chicken wings and a bowl of roasted potatoes. They were supposed to bring the drinks and movies, and April and Casey were in charge of the desert.

A perfect night, it seemed.

And it would have been if they could decide what to watch first without jumping at each other's throats.

"You guys need to grow up."

"Leave me out of thi-"

"Donnie's suggesting Velocipastor of all things and you think we need to grow up? Come on, Y/N, I thought you were better than that."

"Okay, first of all, how dare you. And second, this movie's a masterpie-"

"Yeah, because everyone knows that his supremior intellect means he's the only one who gets to choose a dumb movie. Why won't you guys watch Sharknado?"

"Supremior isn't a word. And it's because unlike you, peasants, I have taste." A devilish smile creeps up Donnie's face. The bastard is doing it on purpose.

"Peasants?!"

"You ugly-ass son of a-"

"Hey! Leave Dad out of this!"

"We could watch Shrek instead?"

You decided to go get some glasses in the kitchen, leaving the children to their stupid fight. Searching through your cupboard, you hear a crashing sound, quickly followed by utter and complete silence.

Oh no.

In insight, leaving them alone was maybe not the best idea. You were reconsidering bringing glasses into the mess as you made your way to the origin of the sound. And what a mess it was.

Your friends were all expressing shock in some way, Casey (surprisingly) being the most dramatic of them all with his hands right in front of his face and his jaw hanging open. They were all looking back and forth between you and another direction near the table.

The really cool bowl that held the delicious potatoes you made was broken on the floor. There was glass and potatoes everywhere, but the biggest shards were in a neat pile, right behind Leonardo, who looked like a deer in headlights.

"... nothing happended."

"I'm... starting to think it's a habit of yours," you say as you watch him not so discretely try to hide the broken pieces behind his foot.

"Look, if you keep putting your foot in there you're gonna hurt yourself. Just, step away a bit, will you?"

"I'm sorry I broke it. Let me help you clean up, I don't want you to cut yourself."

"It's okay! Don't touch it, I'll get a bag," you say as he starts to gather the biggest shards.

Won't even listen for one second, will he?

Raph was already picking up the untouched potatoes to put them in the plates on the table, and April went to the kitchen with you to retrieve the bag and cleaning supplies.

"Ew, Mikey don't eat that."

"Thirty seconds rule, baby."

"It's five seconds, you moron. And it's way over thirty anyway. Spit it out."

The rest of the night went on without further issues, but Leo still looked apologetic during the movie. Which is probably why he was standing before you as his brothers were leaving.

"Thank you for the evening. And I'm... sorry again for the bowl."

"Hey it's okay, man. Don't worry about it. As long as no one gets hurt it's not that big of a deal."

"I'll get you a new one." He doesn't wait for your answer and ruffles your hair before taking off.

"Text me when you guys get home!" You scream into the night, hoping one of them heard you.

______________________

Third time

It's surprisingly easy to mess with Fearless.

You were in the living room, getting your ass beat on Mario Kart by Mikey, when you decided to take a break for your stomach (and ego)’s sake. You made your way to the kitchen, where Leo and Raph were in a heated discussion. Raph looked

“I’m telling you, 4 inches is too small. What do you get from 4 inches ? Nothing. But 10 inches ? It really makes you feel something.”

…

What?

You looked down on the table and saw multiple ingredients lined up on the table, with a long piece of bread on the side.

Oh, sandwiches. Got it.

Leo’s back was facing you, but Raph gave you a knowing glance, one that said ‘do it’. So, you did. Not without a smirk, first.

“Oh, wow, Leo ! I didn’t think you’d be so open about that kind of conversations.” You open the fridge, hoping you can hide your smile behind the door.

“What ? What do you m-” His face falls. Raph starts chuckling next to you and it looks like Leo’s brain is rebooting. 

“I mean, I’m not judging. You do you, buddy, I’m happy for you. Just surprised you choose lunch time to talk about it.” And in other circumstances, you’d mean every word. But right now, messing with your friend is too good to pass on.

“No, hold on- I didnt mean- It’s not what you think ! I’m talking about sandwiches !” He tries to show you the ingredients currently on the table, but Raph decides it’s time to join the fun.

“Lying isn’t vey Bushido of you, Honor Boy,” he winks at you and you can’t repress a giggle.

He puts his face in his hands, knowing very well that the both of you ganged up on him but unable to save face. He just smiles, goes back on his chair and hides his head in his arms, hoping you won’t see how embarassed you made him.

“Hey, you like what you like. Have fun with your sandwiches.” You give him an innocent smile, pat him twice on the shoulder, and join Mikey back on the couch with a plate of grapes.

You could hear Raph’s light chuckle from the kitchen.

______________________

Fourth time

Mornings are hard.

And they’re even worse when you spent the whole night sewing an arm back together after a sword gave it a nasty cut. And getting glass shards off of your friend’s shell. And putting a bone back in it’s rightful place after a particularly bad fall.

Yeah. Long night. And a tense one, too.

Because with the physical pain came the chock and residual fears, the anger and blaming. Everyone was stil on guard, and all that tension was exhausting. You barely slept, too worried that one of your friend’s state would degrade if you didn’t keep an eye on them at all times. Which didn’t really help you get the rest you needed.

If you were hoping the morning would be kinder on all of you, you quickly realized that it was a mistake. While, luckily for the turles, the mutagen was already healing their physical wounds, the emotional exhaustion of the previous night was still heavy. Of all of your conscious friends, not one dared break the eerie silence.

It was weird, seeing them like this. But you couldn’t force yourself to say anything, strangely scared of what could happen. You resumed to making breakfast for everyone and bringing clean towels to the still sleeping feverish turtle in the medbay. Splinter and Mikey were at the kitchen table, quietly accepting your offering, when Leo came into the room from the medbay.

He was still half asleep, and in his drowsiness didn’t see the wall he accidentally ran into.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

Everyone turned to Leo, who it took a solid minute of staring blindly at the wall to realize what just happened.

Donnie was the first to laugh. It didn’t take long for april and Mikey to join, soon followed by Splinter affectionately patting his son’s arm. Leo smiled and shook his head, as their lighthearted laugh was contagious.

The leader in blue was more of a goofball than what you first expected, and you were grateful for it in the fading tensions of the morning.

______________________

One time he wasn't

When someone intrudes your home, especially at 4 am when you were sleeping in the next room, a lot of things go through your head.

Did they take anything?

Yes. Your bag with your wallet, some cash, your credit card, your ID, and a few fidelity cards from various stores. Your laptop. A set of keys. That one blanket Raph made you (probably to carry everything without making too much noise).

Why you?

Why not? Your apartment isn't isolated, but it's not exactly on a main street either. It was probably practical for them.

Were they armed?

Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. Probably. Statistically, most likely.

What could have happened if you had tried to confront them?

A lot of things. Maybe, if you let them know you were awake and knew what was going on, without necessarily confronting them, it would have been enough to make them run away. Or maybe there were multiple armed people, and they wouldn't hesitate to use force if necessary.

Who knows.

Can the police find this person?

Statistically? No. At least, that's what Casey told you when you asked him. Unless they got really lucky, they won't find anything.

Or at least the stuff they stole?

Again, unlikely. Unless they can trace your laptop back to the guy, or someone can give a physical description and a direction, there's not a lot they can do.

What can you do now?

Call your bank. And your insurance. And your landlord. Let them know what happened and follow their directive, they'll guide you through their procedure and help you soften the blow.

Casey was the first person you called when you woke up this night, and he was at your place within minutes with two other colleagues (the closest he could find). He spent the rest of the night reassuring you, helping you with the phone calls, asking around for witnesses, but nothing.

It's weird, feeling unsafe for the first time in a place you had called Home for years. It's disturbing. You can feel the nausea your anxiety is giving you, and a headache starts to grow at the back of your skull.

You don't really like this feeling.

So when your turtle friends dropped by the next evening without telling you and you welcomed them with a swing of your favorite pan, let's just say reactions were split.

"I can hack into your computer to find its location if you want. Wouldn't be the first time."

"What?"

"What? I mean, I didn't do it for your location last time. I know all about your search history, though."

"We're gonna have a talk about boundaries and privacy once we're done dealing with that," you sigh. You crash down on the couch next to your friend and mindlessly watch him work.

Leo comes up to you and gently nudges your shoulder. "Hey, do you have a toolbox somewhere? We brought locks to put on your door and windows. You know, just in case."

You nod, quiet, and lead him to your room where you keep most of the most useful stuff you own, including but not limited to a toolbox and a first aid kit.

Your movements were almost mechanical as you retrieved the box and handed it to him, and you decided to help him put up the locks to keep your mind occupied.

He was concerned. You looked like you were still in choc, which he could completely understand. Getting robbed is awful in itself, but getting robbed while you're sleeping in the next room? Horrific, in his mind.

He was also furious. He couldn't be there for you. This person had the nerves to go after his friend, and what if you got hurt? He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

He noticed he was staring when your eyes met his.

"Hey. We're gonna do whatever we can to find them. We're also gonna focus our patrols in your neighborhood for at least a few weeks, until you feel better," he puts a hand on your shoulder. "It's gonna be okay Y/N. Trust me."

You look up to him, and when you look into his eyes, you know he means it. You let your head fall against his plastron as he holds you against him, a silent promise for safety.

"Hey shorty," Raph pulls his head into the crack of the door to address you. "Wanna learn how to fight? I can turn you into a death machine."

You heard the faint "Raph, what the fuck" coming from Mikey who was still in the living room.

You gave a small laugh as you got up, Leo following you closely to the living room.

"Hey! Fighting isn't for everyone. But I could make you a really cool taser, if you want."

"What's with you and tasers?"

"They're efficient."

The bell ringed and April came in holding 4 boxes of pizza, that Mikey assisted her with as soon as she set a foot inside.

You looked around at your friends as April brandished the pizzas like a trophy while Raph and Donnie went back and forth trying to decide who, between man power and electricity, would win in a fight.

And you realized that yes, Leo was right.

It's gonna be okay.