#because i didn't understand them for a loooong time

[lenievi]

kinda obsessed with Czech lyrics for these (from Confrontation):

Monsieur le Maire / You'll wear a different chain

you wanted to stand above / you wanted to be my master

--

You must think me mad / I've hunted you across the years / Men like you can never change / A man such as you

That had to be a joke! / You'd escape me for a hundred miles again / Neither of us has changed / Valjean nor I

--

I am warning you Javert / I'm a stronger man by far / There is power in me yet / My race is not yet run

May Javert beware / why ask for trouble / I have more than enough power / I'm a grizzly so I beg your pardon

---

"I'm a grizzly" <3 :D

[livelaughlovesubs]

Incubus fyodor 1

Dom!priest!reader x sub!incubus!fyodor

Warning: pegging, CNC, against a wall, in a church lol, also taking virginity??

Sometimes I use strap, most of the time dick or whatever. Then anyone can feel included? Idk?

This was requested by 🍮 anon, like a loooong time ago. Gonna repost it now :> (was too lazy to do so but now that you are back-)

Fyodor was just wandering around, looking for his next victim. It was boring to keep staying at one place, he always craved something grandiose and better. One day he ended up at a church after going around town, he detested those places due to his nature. But then he saw you through the windows, a diligent priest working for god. Proud, hard working and kind. What a sight, you must have never known the pleasures of the flesh. Oh how he pitied you, guess he will just ‘enlighten’ you then~

The incubus was wandering inside the building, looking everywhere for you. Until he found you in the chancel, the sacred place. Perfect, let's see how sacred it will be after he defies god’s little helper. Protecting one’s innocence? How laughable.

Fyodor walked inside, wrapping his hands around you and holding you from behind. Hands running all over your torso, grinning in delight as he said, “come on, let's have a little fun~ I can fulfil all your fantasies...” before he could even react to it, you took hold of his hands, turning around and twisting them in the process. “aAHH-”he yelped, falling backwards and taking a few steps back, his body hitting the wall. Your hand pinning his wrists over his head, knee pressed against the wall in between his legs. He felt you apply pressure to his crotch.

The boy gritted his teeth, showing his fangs. "Are you a demon?" You asked nonchalantly, while he struggled against your strength. Fuck, why were you so strong? “Yea and? What, gonna exorcise me? Haha.” “An incubi probably, by the way you were touching me.” You came to that conclusion, not an ounce of emotion present in your voice.

Continuing on as if you didn't hear him, thinking for a second. “I suppose you wanted to feast on me?” He stared at you with a skeptical look, why did you seem so interested? Before he got the chance to ask you, you commented, “I'm sorry that you were born this way, having to rely on such sinful acts to survive.. what a pitiful being.” “What, oh no you are the pitiful thing here, I bet you don't know what pleasure is, all because of some prideful faith. Want me to teach you?” Fyodor said cheekily, grinning as he looked up at you, his knees bend slightly due to the position.

“Don't get me wrong, I don't detest your kind. God has taught us to accept anyone. In fact, i’d be willing to help you, so that you don't need to bother other innocent souls. It's the duty of a priest.” He didn't understand what you were hinting at, for him you were talking garbage. “You aren’t going to seal me or anything?” The demon was genuinely confused, you want to help him? Why? “No need to fear anything, I'm sure you have experience in this field after all.” Next thing he knew you turned him around, his back arching like a crescent moon. “What are you…” suddenly you pulled his pants down, exposing his plum butt. “Huh?! wha-" poor him, that incubus was super confused now, this can't be what he thinks it is right?

Seems like his worries came true, it was what he feared, he knew when he felt your tip press against him. “Hu-huh? Wait a second..! I-I thought you were...” “I've learned many ways to deal with succubus or incubus, don't worry I'm quite experienced too.” Then you entered him, yearning a surprised moan from the male. “Ahh..!” Fingers desperately gripping the wall, looking for anything he can clench onto, eyes looking back and trying to understand the situation. He was getting… topped? By a priest nonetheless??

Him? Up until now he has only ever been on top. What experience, this is his first! Fyodor felt another push from you, the strap slowly driving into him. “You are so tight... ah, what's your name?” “Why do you care, pull it out!” “I'm sorry, I can't do that.” “Why?!” “Because I have to subdue you first, to make you submit.” Your voice was serious as you said that, pushing more of your dick inside him. “UgHh! Slo-slow down...gentle, gentle! Ah, hu-hurts..” the boy whined now, crying softly as his dick twitched in excitement. “Oh? It is your first? Maybe you aren’t as dirty as I thought.” Still using the same emotionless voice as before, you kept unintentionally leave snarky remarks behind. All while your free hand collected the slick around his rim, covering the toy with it.

“So wet already, more than many others of your kind.” Were you mocking him? He wanted to insult you, if only the dick wasn't making his mind go blank. “Ahh...you, I won't-mhm! Fo-forgive you.” “I don't need your forgiveness, only gods.” You said, before starting to move and trust into him. Then you explained, “in order to excuse this sin I had to commit due to your existence, we will have to work hard to beg for forgiveness.” “AhHh! Ah-aHh.ah. Oh-uhh..uhm! Nghh..!” Each trust was paired with whimpers or a moan. Cute squeaking sounds escaped him, face and shoulders flushed red and figure covered in sweat now. His filthy fluids were running down those slim and shaky legs, eyes rolling into the back of his head. What was he doing, didn't he plan on fucking you at first? So how was he getting dicked down now. It was still too hard to comprehend. Yet it felt so good.. it was melting his brain, he has never felt anything this amazing before.

“Such inappropriate noises you are letting out, i guess you are enjoying yourself?” The hand which you used to collect his slick was now on his hips, holding him in place since he kept trying to wriggle his way out, trying to escape those blissful sensations. “Ah..wait..ah-Uhm! This is..no-no good..stop aHh!” He whispered, shortly after tears started rolling down his blushing face. You only picked up your pace, going faster and rutting into him roughly, sometimes you'd brush against his prostate which made him cry out even more. “Ah-aAhhH! OOHh! I'm c-close.. m’gonna cu-cum.” Fyodor breathed out, his entire being quivering in pleasure. This was heaven. Don’t get him wrong, he knew nothing of heaven but this is how he'd imagine paradise to be like. He was filled with pure ecstasy, it was damn addicting and he doesn't think he will ever get over it.

“You have to beg for forgiveness, and to excuse your pathetic self.” You whispered into his ear. Like a spell he couldn’t disobey, he immediately began pleading with.. whom? God? You? Ugh.. to think he had come this low. “AhhHhAA!! ohHh! For-forgive meHHnghh~..!!” His release came in torrents, coursing through his veins and making his legs go weak. He felt so helpless, so exposed and vulnerable with you. And it was the best feeling he has ever experienced, never in his life did he knew something like this was possible. Those noises were filled with desire and longing, loud and clear as he painted the wall white, “aAhHahhhH~!” A shudder ran down his spine, hole clenching down onto you.

The slick was all the way down to his knees now, and he was still lost in subspace. Guess the climax was pretty intense, rendering him to such a whiny mess. You weren't sure if he could understand you, but you tried it anyway. “So, may I inquire the name of you pitiful thing?” There were no answers, only breathy whines and pants. Eventually he gasped out his name meekly, mumbling, “fyo-fyodor…” After blinking a few times, you leaned down to his ear and uttered in a seductive, as well as sadistic voice. This was the first time he heard your tone change. “I'm going to keep you here, so that you wont cause troubles for others. You don’t mind being my pet fyodor, isn’t that right?” And you let go of him after finishing your sentence. Hands leaving his body. Ahh..another shiver travelled down to his core, how could he ever refuse such an enticing offer? Without your help, his legs finally betrayed his body as he crashed down onto the ground. Sitting there looking all ravaged while a sticky white puddle formed beneath him. Fyodor looked at you over his shoulder while panting heavily, tongue hanging out from his blushing face like a dumb little pet.

Part two

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): smut with plot but not really, a bit of angst but then again not really, nsfw, wlw sex

warning(s): MDNI, +18 ONLY read at your own risk, explicit wlw smut, wlw sex, oral sex, kinda toxic relationship, mentions of drinking alcohol, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 3k

note: I'M SO SORRY GUYS IT SOOOO LOOOONG. College had been kicking my ass. Agh! I need a break from that shit. Anyways... I was actually going to make the smut part longer but I kinda didn't want to ruin it, so this is what you get lol. Also I literally googled the russian pet names, so please correct me if they are wrong. I hope you all like it! Lots of love, M <3

note 2: I got so many requests and I'm so glad you guys asked me to write your ideas, I really appreciate that. It's going to take me so time but I WILL WRITE THEM and I'm so excited about them. Love the way you guys think lol <3

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

⇨ Detka: baby - Moya lyubov: my love - Malishka: little girl - Krasotka: gorgeous

You knew this whole thing was wrong, it was a toxic never ending cycle, but still you could never help yourself when it came to her. 

You and Yelena were together for three years, three years filled with love and lust and happiness; but then your relationship became hateful, bitter and full of anger, still the lust between the two of you remained the same.

Allegedly, the two of you had broken up 5 months ago. Allegedly, you resented her for the shit she put you through. Allegedly, you didn’t even want to see her face. 

Nevertheless, she always found her way back to you, —back to your bed—. The moment her lips made contact with yours, you knew you had lost all sense of reason. How could you restrain yourself when her hips grazed against yours in a slowly almost painful yet divine pace that had you arching your back and curling your toes?

“Fuck,” you breathed out, as her hands thighten the frim grip on your waist.

You always promised yourself it would be the last time, that it was just your body reacting to hers, that you would be strong the next time and would turn her down. It took you a couple more slips to finally understand that you and Yelena were done, that the two of you were through. But you finally came to your senses.

“You do know this is the last time, right?” you said breathless, feeling your quick heartbeat in your eardrums. 

You sword to yourself that would be the last time you let yourself give in to her. Just one more night of pleasure, just one more night of kisses and whimperings and moans, and the next day it would be over. 

“Yeah, I know,” though her voice was muffled by your cunt you could still make out the sarcastic tone in her voice. 

“I mean it, Yel,” you tried to sound serious, and apparently you did because she lifted up her head for her eyes to find yours.

“I know you do,” and she did know. She knew that you meant it, at that specific moment. 

But she also knew your statement wouldn’t last long, that you would soon change your mind and her lips would find their way back to your neck, hips, thighs and cunt. 

So she allowed you to think it was over, but it will be over once she decided so. 

[...]

It’d been a year since you had last seen her, you thought that was it, that the two of you had moved on at last. But maybe you got it all wrong, maybe all the things she made you feel enhanced by being away from her, maybe you forced yourself to forget about her. But there was no point in trying it, for she had made a mark on your heart. Like a tattoo, always under skin even when it gets removed.

But tonight was supposed to be different, you were supposed to have fun, drink and dance with your girl friends. But for some odd reason you couldn't stop thinking about the blonde. You would mess around with some people, but you found yourself thinking that it wasn’t her hands roaming around your body, or her lips leaving kisses and bites all over your neck, it wasn't her scent and it most certainly wasn’t her hoarse voice reaching your ears.

As you and your friends made your way to the bar, you heard your phone ringing. Even before you took a look at the screen you were 100% sure that it was her calling you, who else could it be then? 

Your heart picked up its pace as you looked at the ID caller and your suspicions were confirmed. It was at that moment that you realised that you had never blocked or deleted her contact number. 

Before you could answer or decline the call, it stopped. You swallowed down the lump that hard formed on your throat, unsure of what would be next. And soon after it stopped you got a text from her, you were about to read it when you noticed that someone was calling out for you. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you said, quickly putting away your phone, trying to focus on your friend’s words over the loud music.

“We have to use the restroom. Let’s go,” she said, reaching out for your hand, motioning for you to tag along. 

“No,” you step back, away from her reach. “I, um,” you felt your phone burning your hand. “I’m going to get some air, okay?” you noticed she wanted to say something against it, so you quickly added: “I’ll be right back, I promise,” you smiled at them, before making your way out of the club before they would follow after you. 

Once the cold air of the night filled your lungs you felt like you could finally breathe properly. You looked at her missed call and her text message on your phone screen, it was simple: an address. You knew what that meant, but you weren’t sure of what you should do. As if sensing your doubt, she called you again. The phone kept on ringing in your hand, as you made up your mind.

Seeing her tonight was a bad idea, right? Yes, you might not be really drunk but the alcohol was messing with your brain and you were not thinking straight. Plus, your friends were going to kill you for meeting her.

Seeing her tonight was a bad idea, right? You weren’t just going to throw away the last year and pretend like nothing had happened.

Seeing her would be a bad idea, right? But your mind had other plans as the memories of her soft lips and her rough hands and her raspy voice all came rushing to your brain, and suddenly it was all you could think of.

Seeing her tonight…? Fuck it, it’s fine, was your only thought as you picked up the call. 

“Hello, detka.”

The old pet name sent a silver up your spine, still you were yet to form a coherent thought. 

“I missed you,” she paused, waiting for you to say something. “Did you miss me?” she tried again. Still, you weren’t answering her, but she knew you were listening carefully to every word. “You know? I’m all alone right now. I wouldn’t mind some company.”

You could sense the undertone she was using, you were no fool to her tactics, even though you would always fall for them. That was the kind of power Yelena had over you, everytime you would do so much as think about her your brain would just shut down and you wouldn’t be able to hear your own thoughts. 

“No,” you stated firmly. Shaking your head even though she could not see you. 

“Oh, baby. What’s the matter? You want me to pick you up?” you could hear the jiggling of some set of keys. Your heart stopped for a second, was she really that desperate to come and pick you up? You felt your stomach burning. 

“This is… This is not right, Yelena. I shouldn't have picked up the call. I should probably not—.”

“Oh, come on, moya lyubov,” again with the russian nickname that would make your knees weak. “How about this, I pick you up, we get some coffee and we just have a quick chitchat?”

You knew that it never was so simple with Yelena, but you felt your walls crashing down. 

“I’m not sure, Yel…” it felt weird to pronounce that nickname after so long. 

“Look up, pretty girl.”

You felt your stomach sink as you did as you were told. And there she was, in all her glory. You didn’t even question how she knew exactly where you were, Yelena just knew stuff. You knew she was your ex, but she said it was just a quick chat, can’t two people reconnect? You knew you were stronger now to her advances, you were pretty sure you only saw her as a friend. But, in all honesty, you knew you were full of shit. 

Without a word, you sent a text to your friends, put your phone in your purse and got into the car, wrecking all your plans. You knew you should just stop, but you couldn't. You cursed yourself for that, she knew you too well and you hated both yourself and Yelena for that.

As soon as you took the passengers sit, Yelena sped up the car and the two of you left the building and your friends behind. 

“I did miss you, Y/n,” was the first thing she said as she rested her hand on your thigh. 

She knew how much you loved it when she did that.

“Mmm,” you muttered, unsure of what your answer should be. 

“Didn’t you miss me?” she jokingly asked as she gently squeezed your skin. 

“What do you want, Yel?” 

“I thought I told you,” she quickly took a look at you before looking back at the road. “I just want to chat, that’s all.”

“It’s never that simple with you.”

“Well, maybe this time it is. Maybe this time I want things to be different,” she smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat. She still had that kind of power over you and you hated her even more for that. But not really.

You gently shook your head. It was bad, you shouldn’t have picked up the call, you shouldn't have gotten into the car. You should have thought things more clearly before letting her into your life again. 

As you were mentally cursing yourself you didn’t realise that the two of you had already made it to whatever place she had driven the two of you. Realisation hit you as you now had now idea where the fuck you were, you had no other choice but to follow her. Or so you told yourself. 

Yelena opened the car door for you and stretched her hand out for you to take. Which you did, you didn’t even fight it, you longed for the contact of her skin against yours. And maybe, just maybe, you thought it would be enough, just by intertwining your fingers in between hers. But, god, you were wrong. 

You knew the moment you would step through her front door all sense of reason would leave your mind, and it would only remain the lust and feel of belonging you always felt around her. And you were right, the soon you stepped in, it was like you were that same person a year ago and you had no intention in fighting your feelings, not anymore. You thought maybe you deserve it, as a reward for being all this time apart from each other.

As soon as you entered it was as if you could feel Yelena everywhere. It wasn’t just the fact that she was there next to you with her hand in between yours, but you could all also smell her scent all over her place, you could see her in the furniture she had chosen, hear her in the music that was playing, and even though you had yet to taste her lips you were so overwhelmed by her entire being that it felt as if you already had. 

“So, um,” she cleared her throat as she closed the door behind the two of you, getting your attention. “Would you like some coffee…?”

“Fuck it, it’s fine,” you mumbled to yourself once more before dropping your purse and shortening the distance and crashing your lips against hers. 

Yelena’s hand quickly found their way to your hips, gently squeezing your flesh earning a low groan out of you. She pulled away gasping for air but the next second her lips were back on yours. You moaned into her lips as her tongue easily slipped into your mouth and found yours to mess around with. 

You felt a warm feeling in your stomach as her hands roamed all over your body leaving goosebumps on their way. Then they rested on your ass, grabbing the muscle motioning for you to jump on top of her, which you did without a second thought. The feeling became a small fire in your stomach the moment your chest was pressed against hers. 

“I knew you would come back,” she mumbled in between your lips, feeling her grin into the kiss. 

As a response you bit her bottom lip, not really sure what you meant by that but it felt good when you heard a low moan escape from her lips. 

“Don’t push your luck,” you said once you let go of it, earning a small chuckle from her. 

“Yeah, you’re right, krasotka,” her thick russian was only fuel to the growing fire in your stomach. 

Her lips found the crook of your neck and she left as many bites and kisses as she pleased, leading the two of you to her bedroom. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your fingers found their way in between her hair. 

Once in her bedroom, Yelena gently laid you on her bed. As her lips made their way down to your collarbone, her hand tugged at the hem of your dress slowly and painfully bringing it up to your waist. 

On command, you spread your leg open letting Yelena’s head take the place in between your thighs. She kissed and bit them, her lips ghosted over the area where you needed her the most, but all you got was her hot breath which sent a shiver up your spine and made you groan out her name. 

“Stop with the teasing,” you begged her, as your legs rested on her shoulders. 

“Tell me what you need,” she breathed out. 

“I need you… I need your lips on me,” it almost came out as a moan. 

And she did as she was told, but it wasn’t quite what you wanted. Her lips kissed and licked your core, but it wasn’t enough since the area was still being covered by your panties. You wanted more, needed more. 

“Yelena, please…” you begged her once again. 

“Shh…” she cooed as her fingers tugged at the hem of your underwear and slowly pushed it out of the way. “Is this where you need my lips, malishka,” her hot breath over your now uncovered cunt ripped a moan out of your mouth. 

“Yes, yes, just please do something. Please, Yel, I—,” a whimper cut you off as you felt her tongue licked up your slit. “Fuck,” you could feel your heartbeat going a mile per hour. 

Her tongue went up and down a few times, tasting your juices, loving who wet you were for her. She then made sure to give your clit as much attention, so she wrapped her lips around it and sucked hard. You felt your leg trembling on her shoulders as she worked her magic on you. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were a moaning mess, the fire in your stomach felt like it was taking over your entire body and you only wanted to give in, to let it consume you whole —to let Yelena consume you whole—.

You wrapped your legs around her head, bringing her even closer to you. The thought of her suffocating on your count scared you for half a second, but then as she ate you like a starving woman, the thought only added more to your arousal. 

Yelena took a quick look at you: eyes closed, lips slightly trembling and parted, brows furrowed, your leg around her head, your hand flying to meet her hair. She wanted that moment to last forever, she wanted to be forever buried in between your legs if it only meant she could see you like this. But she could not stop time and live forever in that moment, so she could only moan at your sight. And that was what it took for you to finally come undone in her lips.

You cried out her name as your leg almost squeezed her head too harshly, but she could take it. A few curses followed her name as her tongue and lips helped you right out your high. 

“I missed this, malishka,” she said breathlessly as you unwrapped your legs around her. 

Her nose, lips and chin were glistening from your release, you felt something like a match lighting up inside you once again. Much to your dismay she used the back of her hand to clean some of it, which she noticed that it had bothered you since you slightly frown. She chuckled at just how cute and precious you were. 

She crawled on top of you, placing her knee in between your legs and her lips found yours. You moaned as you tasted yourself on her lips and tongue, feeling the fire coming back to life. 

“I missed you… so much,” she said in between kisses. “Tell me… you missed me too…”

Drunk on her scent, lips and words you couldn’t think properly. But still the words you blurted out were the truth: “I did… I missed you too…”

“Then we should… make up for… the time we lost…'' she said as her hand expertly tugged down the cleavage of your dress, she smiled to herself as she realised you weren’t wearing a bra.

She trailed a path of kiss from your neck, down to your collarbone to finally end with her lips sucking your right nipple. 

“Yeah, we should…” you breathed out. 

“Then, we are going to be here for a while,” she said, her words were muffled by your tit inside her mouth. 

You giggled at her words but then it turned into a moan as she went on sucking. 

You knew the whole thing would fire back eventually, but your head was empty, blank, no reasonable thoughts. Just one that it keep you going and that was the only thought you were willing to listen to: ‘Fuck it, it’s fine.’

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[heartybubs]

change

the 100 [ bellamy blake x reader ]

type : angsty, maybe a bit fluffy?

tropes: forced proximity, best friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of anxiety, heavy language, lowkey manipulative bellamy

in which bellamy blake and reader used to date but when he spiraled after octavia was arrested and his life fell apart, he distanced himself from her. after he begs her to trust him blindly and she does, they have to figure out their relationship on earth as neither of them is able to let it go.

a/n: hii, this is my first piece of writing in a loooong long time but i’m really enjoying the 100 again and i’ve noticed a severe lack of bellamy content on here, so i hope you like it! i don’t think i used any pronouns but i did use the term “girl” multiple times to describe reader! w.c.: 4.831

after octavia was discovered, he lost his job and his mum was floated, bellamy fell into a terrifying rabbit hole of depression. he lost himself with everything else in his life and instead of holding on to you, he wanted you to do better than him; so he ignored you. of course it made everything worse than it already was but it helped to tell himself he was actually saving you, despite seeing you fall apart piece by piece for months. he knew you'd get it together at some point, you had a great life going for you and he didn't want to risk you losing it at anytime soon, especially not because of him.

so when commander shumway approached bellamy and asked him to assassinate chancellor jaha in return of being able to go to earth with his sister and he said yes with barely any hesitation, he couldn't help but think about you, the girl he was so deeply in love with.

so now, bellamy was close to sprinting across the hall, giving his all to reach your door as fast as he could. he was going to earth, he had already shot the chancellor, but he couldn't leave you behind, no matter how hard he tried, not even after all those months of breaking your heart.

but just because he broke your heart that didn't mean he didn't love you the entire time.

you had taken the day off of guard duty, not feeling well as your three year anniversary with bellamy was approaching or, well, it would've if he hadn't abandoned you a few months ago.

although you tried your hardest to get it together, especially because you didn't want to risk your job as a guard on the ark, you couldn't just forget about bellamy. you had never loved anyone like him and no one had ever hurt you like he had.

there was aggressive knocking on the door, startling you immediately. you sighed frustratedly, there was no one who'd have time, or even want to, visit you in the middle of the day. especially not that desperately, since whoever was disturbing your peace got more and more aggressive with each knock.

you opened the door and before you could say anything, you were pushed into your room by a strong, all too familiar man. not being able to comprehend, you simply stared at the tan man in front of you, admiring his freckled face you had missed so much.

"bellamy? wha-", he cut you off, shaking his head frantically.

"look, y/n, this has gotta be really weird for you right now, but we have to leave. like, now. you have to come with me, okay?", although he was clearly stressed, there was a softness to be noticed in his voice that you knew all too well. you also recognized that he wasn't exactly asking you to come with him, he was telling you to.

"bellamy, what do you mean? you can't just come here and, and.. bellamy i don't understand! why are you wearing a guard’s uniform?", you rambled, looking at him more than desperate for answers. you knew that you would follow him anywhere but you didn't want to. you shouldn't after what he did to you.

he sighed, looking around nervously before taking a deep breath in and putting his hands on your cheeks. he held your face in his hands, pulling you a bit closer to him as he looked into your eyes.

"y/n, i beg you, you have to trust me, okay? i know i haven't been the best.. the best to you but if there's one thing you can do for me, even if it's the last time you ever help me out again, i need it to be today, right now", he noticed your big eyes, only now realizing that this might not work out and it scared him, terrified him even. "y/n..y/n, baby please. i'm begging you, begging. we don't have time, we need to go, please trust me, please y/n!"

"okay, bell."

you could tell how much this relieved him immediately and right as a little smile started showing, he pulled you out of your room, swiftly grabbing your necklace you always kept next to your keys and dragged you through the ark. it felt like you were running through the entire space station and when you finally slowed down, bellamy didn't give you a single second to ask questions.

he just motioned to you to be silent as he carefully pushed you towards something you recognized to be a dropship. your eyes widened in panic, what the hell was going on here.

"bellamy, serious-", he simply covered your mouth and shoved you into the dropship before closing the door. as panic overtook you and your breathing got heavier, your perception lessened. without bellamy pushing you around and doing whatever you needed to do for you, you wouldn't have gotten anything done.

you were clearly having a panic attack and while it hurt bellamy to not be able to help you get through right now, he had to prioritize your safety during the travel to earth and before you knew it, you passed out.

{ ~* }

you felt soft taps on your shoulder as you slowly regained consciousness. slowly raising your head before finally opening your eyes and looking around. you were still in the dropship but you were all by yourself, no sight of bellamy. of course.

the person who'd been trying to wake you was a boy you recognized as wells jaha, the chancellor's son. he looked at you, relief basically written all over him as you finally reacted to his attempts of waking you up. "i'm so glad you're awake, i almost thought you wouldn't wake up again. wait, let me help you out."

he started to unbuckle you, holding you up as you were still a bit weak from your intense panic attack. he could tell how confused you were immediately.

"i'm wells, you're a guard, right? why'd they send you to earth with us?", wells questioned as your eyes widened.

"earth?!", you repeated immediately, not believing what you heard and completely ignoring his question. you couldn't be on earth, it wasn't even going to be habitable for the next three generations so how could you be on earth now, alive?!

wells didn't really know how to react, he had expected you to know but you were just as, probably even more clueless than the delinquents. he decided not to engage in any more conversation, respecting your space as he figured you'd want some time to cope, as well as recovering from whatever made you pass out.

you were thankful for being left alone, slowly standing up and once you felt stable enough to walk to the hatch, you followed the ladder down. immediately you were met with the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

tall trees, their roots covered in beautiful, bright green plants and, of course, many people all around the area.

you didn't care about them though, the only person you wanted to find was bellamy, he had to explain himself. what was he thinking, taking you to earth without even telling you?!

luckily, it didn't take you long to find him. he was talking to a girl much shorter than him; she had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and although you hadn't seen her that well the last time, the day she was arrested, you were certain it was bellamy's little sister octavia.

you walked over to them, careful not to overestimate your strength yet and once bellamy noticed you, he got tense immediately.

"y/n, how are you?", he spoke up, seemingly interrupting octavia who simply looked at you curiously. while she had never really met you, she knew so much about you. everytime bellamy told her a story to fall asleep to, it was always about princess y/n and once she got older, he finally revealed that you were actually his girlfriend. she loved what she'd heard so far but she decided to lay low, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.

"i'm good. bellamy, what the fuck is going on, are we really on earth? you have to-", he sighed loudly before cutting you off. "i'm glad you're feeling good. you shouldn't stress yourself too much, you're probably still a bit weak, okay? enjoy earth."

the usual softness in his voice was all gone, leaving nothing, but unfamiliar coldness as he walked off. what the fuck was his problem.

"i should've known that he'd leave me again, why did i fucking come", you mumbled angrily. you really had every right to be angry at bellamy, but if you were being honest, you were probably way more disappointed than angered by the man who once loved you as much as you love him.

octavia looked at you confusedly, not being able to follow at all. "what do you mean again, you're y/n, his girlfriend y/n right?"

"i don't even know what i am to him anymore", you answered, feeling tears shoot up to your eyes. no, you couldn't cry about him anymore, you had wasted too many tears on his egoistic ass.

octavia's eyes softened, similarly to how bellamy's used to. she walked up to you and hugged you carefully, not wanting to disrespect your personal space beyond your liking. you hugged her back, appreciating her sympathy a lot and although you kinda didn't want to spend time with bellamy's younger sister, you didn't want to punish her for something out of her power. she had dealt with that too much already.

"my brother can be a real ass sometimes but he'll get over it, i think i know how much he loves you", she spoke softly, smiling at you. you smiled back at her but realized that she really had no clue how over the two of you were.

{ ~* }

days on days passed and not a single interaction between bellamy and you happened. you wanted to talk to him so desperately but whenever you approached him, he'd find a way to get away from you as soon as possible. it felt like you were back on the ark, trying to understand why your boyfriend of two years was suddenly ignoring and avoiding you.

you wanted to fight for his attention, you really tried to but when he set up a knife fight between john murphy and wells, you figured that you had to say goodbye to the idea of ever getting anything positive out of a conversation with him. the bellamy you once loved was probably gone for good and whatever egoistic, violent leader he had become now, was no one you wanted around you.

this time, you really had to get over him.

it honestly made you sick to watch him act like the born leader of the delinquents and it was almost worse to see them follow him blindly. he was leading them to do horrible things, he was clearly motivating their aggression and allowed them all to be terrible to each other.

of course you were angry, but it also confused you a lot. bellamy really terrified you, he was going down a path you couldn't follow and he wasn't anything like he used to be back in the ark, back when he was still your bellamy.

he used to be sweet, loving and caring but now it was so obvious that he was using the 100 delinquents to reach his own goal, you just couldn't figure out what goal that could be. another thing you were pretty confused about, was the fact he took you with him. when he begged you to come with him, he was so different. it almost felt like he loved you again, you were embarrassed to admit that you thought things would get better now, that everything would be like it was back then and you knew that you deserved better, no one, not even john murphy deserved to be treated like bellamy had treated you that past year. still, you just couldn't let him go, so you decided it was time for some distraction.

while you really enjoyed spending time with clarke, learning a bit from her medical knowledge, as well as simply making a new friend, you needed more. literally, you had no one besides bellamy, octavia and clarke and you didn't actually have any of them. you needed to make friends.

deciding to go against bellamy's orders to stay with clarke, something he hadn't told you personally, instead sending one of his little minions your way, you left the drop ship in search for something else to do. you weren't gonna let him tell you what to do, not if he didn't even have the balls to talk to you himself.

right as you left the dropship, you immediately spotted a tall boy with funny googles on his head walking towards one of the gates and decided to approach him. you remembered his name, joshua, or jasper.

"hey jasper", you smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. "hey y/n, i'm just heading out for the hunt."

you raised your eyebrow. hunt? that was perfect for you. not only did you ace pike's earth skills class, but you were also a trained guard. of all the people in your camp, it was safe to assume that you'd be the best at it.

"can i come too? i think i'd be a lot of help", you spoke nicely and without even thinking about it, jasper nodded. his smile grew as he was more than willing to spend some more time with you.

"i'm sure bellamy won't mind", he said and although you really didn't want to be around bellamy for once, it upset you even more that he couldn't even ask you to go with them. he knew just as well as you did that they needed you and that you were the best shot they had, probably even better than him since you actually finished your guard training.

you followed jasper out of the walls, stopping right outside as you joined the rest of the hunting trip. there were about seven unknown faces and of course bellamy’s. as soon as he saw you, he tensed up, leaving you to sigh annoyingly and roll your eyes.

"y/n get back inside the walls, it's not safe outside", he said, voice stern, motioning for you to turn around and go. you immediately shook your head.

"i'm gonna come with you guys, i'm literally your best shot and you won't even notice me, i'll be with jasper the entire time", you complained. he knew you wouldn't change your mind but he wouldn't risk your safety. bellamy trusted jasper but not with you, he trusted no one when it came to you. no one, not even yourself, would protect you as well as he would and although he had been avoiding you for days now, expecting to keep going until he knew you'd gotten over him completely, he had to be the one going with you.

"yea no, you're either coming with me or not at all, y/n. this is your first time outside the walls and i wanna make sure you find your way back home, alright?! however, if you don't want to go with me that's fine. stay back and help clarke then. got it?!", he was convinced he'd make you change your mind.

"fuck you, bellamy. really, let's just go already", you were angry. he was treating you like a complete stranger and you actually felt a bit embarrassed in front of the other people. what was he thinking talking to you like that in front of so many of the others, it was unnecessary.

he was caught by surprise by your response, less because of your words, but way more because you actually chose to come with them. he was so sure you would never want to be alone with him after all he had done but this just proved that it wasn't enough yet.

he should've known better than to expect you to just stop loving him that easily. hell, how could you get over him, if he couldn't even go a single hour without thinking about you.

"okay then", bellamy said before everyone split up and went into different directions. you followed him, making sure you stayed behind.

"you know damn well that i'd be a great help. should've gotten your shit together and asked me", you mumbled and although he heard what you said, he decided not to respond.

you two were walking for a pretty long time, killing some birds on your way. obviously that wouldn't be enough for the entire camp to eat so you kept going. there wasn't much talking done either, you were able to work together without speaking, you had always been able to.

of course it was awkward, but it went fine until a loud sound rang through the woods. bellamy turned to you immediately, eyes wide as he grabbed your wrist and started running. despite having never left the camp, you knew that this was an alarm to warn about the yellow fog that was incredibly toxic and even deadly.

the two of you ran as fast as you could until bellamy noticed something in the ground that looked like a door to a bunker. he immediately pushed you in front of him and told you to go in, following closely as he rushed to close the door before the fog could get you. bellamy turned on his flashlight while your breath was shaky as you put a hand up to your heart. your athleticism wasn't an issue, your anxiety however was.

"y/n, are you okay?", bellamy asked softly as approached you, reaching for your shoulder but before he could touch you, you backed away.

"bellamy stop, stop doing this", he looked at you with a questioning expression on his face. "you know what i mean."

he simply shook his head, lowering it before quietly saying "i'm sorry, y/n, but i really don't. i just wanna make sure you're okay."

you huffed, did he even believe his own words? you were annoyed by his obliviousness and slid down the wall, he did the same oppositely from you.

neither of you said anything for some time but with every minute that passed, you feared that he would leave the bunker at the first chance he'd get, ruining your only opportunity to have the conversation you've been wanting to have for almost a year now.

"look, bellamy.. i just don't understand how you could do what you did. you're confusing me", you explained quietly, not wanting to look at him yet.

"i know, i don't understand either", he spoke back and as your eyes met, you could tell he wasn't lying. "i was angry, angry at everyone, even you. and i know that it wasn't fair, i wasn't treating you how i should have but when i lost everything, i was ashamed. you deserved better than that and i knew you wouldn't just let me go."

"literally what were you thinking?!  i was with you through any hardships you ever had to go through. what made you assume id just leave you, what made you think that after two years with you, i'd just abandon you. what for?! having a sister? i'm not the fucking council, you should know me better than that", you were angry but you didn't want to yell at him, you wanted this to work.

he sighed, he didn't know what to tell you. of course you were right, he fully agreed but what good would him agreeing do?

"talk to me, bellamy", you basically begged.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i have never regretted anything as much as breaking your heart. you were on my mind every single day", he said truthfully, not being able to look into your eyes as he spoke until he lifted his head. "if i could turn back time, i would. i am so sorry for ruining what we had."

you stared into his eyes, giving yourself time to think about what he just told you. you'd do anything to go back to how things were, you missed bellamy so much.

"me too", you then admitted. "you know, it would've been our three year anniversary a few days ago", you said and laughed slightly. bellamy smiled at you, oh how he had missed your laugh.

"i know", he said and reached into his pocket. "i didn't get you anything new and i know that i can't just regift something i already gave you years ago but i grabbed this when i asked you to come with me and i just.. didn't have time to give it to you yet."

you listened curiously, watching him pull out a silver necklace he once gave you. your mouth and eyes widened in excitement, it was your favourite piece of jewelry ever since you'd gotten it, but when you realized you didn't have it on you, you were sure you'd never see it again and it made you incredibly sad.

"oh my god, you took it with you? thank you so much, bellamy! i was missing it already", you admitted, excitement lacing your voice. he smiled again and handed you your necklace you put on immediately.

you smiled down at yourself, carefully grabbing the star charm.

"i missed seeing you like this, you are so beautiful, y/n", bellamy spoke quietly, you simply halted in your movement. your eyebrows were raised slightly as you looked at him, what was he doing?

"y/n, i know that i don't deserve your forgiveness, fuck, i don't even deserve you! but please, i'm begging you to forgive me for what i did. i don't expect it to be easy, but-"

"why did you ask me to come with you, bell?", you interrupted him. it took him a second before he chuckled and looked to the side, then focusing on you again.

"i spent so many months ignoring you, thinking i was making things so much better when i actually ruined us. i already told you that i thought about you every single day and i knew i wouldn't survive to go down here without you", he explained. "i know that it was incredibly selfish of me to bring you here and at first i didn't want to because i didn't want to expose you to all these dangers earth might bring. i wanted you to do better than me, that's why i distanced myself from you, but i was a fool to think this would work. the hold you have on me and my life is actually insane, y/n. when i had the opportunity to protect my sister and to take you down with me, i just-"

"wait, bellamy, why are you even here in the first place", you questioned. there was no way you wouldn't know about his mission but a janitor did.

his expression changed immediately, his jaw tensed and you could tell how scared he was to tell you, but he also didn't want to lie to you. not right now, not apart of this conversation.

"y/n, i messed up, okay.. i did things i regret and leaving you wasn't my only mistake, but i couldn't let my sister go to earth unprotected, alright? i had to make sure she was safe", he rambled immediately, panic lacing his voice. you on the other hand, only got more suspicious of him. "i shot chancellor jaha on shumway's request."

your eyes widened in shook, you couldn't believe what you just heard. "what, i-"

you wanted to be upset at him so bad but something in you couldn't. "is he.."

"i don't know, that was the goal", he answered quietly, not daring to look up.

"oh my god, bellamy! are you kidding me, you can't just shoot the chancellor, you can't shoot anybody actually!"

"y/n, i know, please. i know that i messed up but i can't change it anymore", he sighed before running his hand through his hair. by now, it was finally curly and loose again and you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. but that wasn't the point, not at all.

"do you though? you changed, bellamy. you have become someone i don't recognize, whats gotten into you?!", you got up from the ground, looking around helplessly. "first you shoot the chancellor and then you lead these kids in the aggressive way you do. do you even notice what you're creating?", at this point you were yelling, you didn't care anymore.

"y/n don't yell at me", he said but you just shook your head. he got up and approached you but you backed away like earlier.

"for fucks sake, stop telling me what to do! you're not my leader, if anything, you're my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend. hell, i don't even know what we are because you didn't have the fucking balls to actually break up with me before being an asshole. i have every right to yell at you", you hissed and you could see how much your words hurt him but bellamy wasn't gonna stay quiet this time.

"i never broke up with you because i didn't fucking want to. i didn't treat you like it but fuck, y/n i love you", he was raising his voice as well now.

"loved, you loved me, you don't anymore", you said and it seemed like this time, you went too far.

"shut the fuck up, y/n. don't say shit like that, don't disrespect me like that", he yelled at you, knowing full well that your disrespect wasn't even comparable to what he put you through. "don't accuse me of not loving you because i could never stop loving you. there wasn't a single day in the past five years where i didn't love you and you know that this is true, we both do!"

you bit your lip as you tried to calm yourself. the adrenaline was overwhelming at this point but still you somehow knew that he was right. you believed him.

"and you don't have to forgive me for what i did and for the way i'm leading these kids but you know damn well that i'd do anything for you and that i love you", his voice was softening again as he was calming down too. "and i know that you're not over me. you wouldn't have come with me, if you didn't love me at least a little bit."

you took a deep breath in, he was right. of course he was, but you couldn't just forgive and forget.

"y/n, baby, i'm not asking you to forget what i did, please don't. i just wanna know that i am right and that i still know you and most importantly; that i didn't ruin your life even more when i brought you down here", his voice got quieter and you could even hear it breaking towards the end of his sentence.

"yes, bellamy i still love you", you simply admitted, sad eyes meeting his right before he pulled you into his arms.

you didn't resist because you needed this, it was what you'd been seeking for all these months.

bellamy was relieved that you still loved him. he didn't expect everything to magically be amazing again but he knew that he hadn't lost you yet. he still had a chance for redemption and he was going to fix things. he was going to be a better man for you.

his strong arms were wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest as he also enjoyed feeling your touch again.

"i love you so much, y/n. i'll fix everything, okay? i will never hurt you ever again and we can work through this, if you want to. i missed you so much, baby", he said. his hand was now holding your cheek as he looked into your glossy eyes.

you nodded, believing him again.

you were hoping that he was saying the truth, that he would never mess it up again. you just wanted to love him again, but you weren't stupid, things, he would have to change first.

[akalikestodraw]

HEY!! ITS ME PEBIE!! LONG STORY SHORT:

My dad took away my iPad and is punishing me for a loooong time, months even!

And I'm so fucking scared since well, I had to make an alt account because I couldn't sign into my main, and because I didn't want to send an email that dad could see

I'm going to try to convince dad to give me my iPad back, other than that, I have nothing to do.

I'm so sorry I can't help you, or anyone else, and I'm so sorry if I never get it back

Ill miss you guys I really REALLY will. I'm praying dad will understand and give it back, otherwise, this could be the last time I'm speaking to you.

I'm probably going to find the people I follow, and tag them to this post when you see it, since I barely remember ANY @s

I'm so sorry, I'll miss you I'll miss you everyone

I shouldve been smarter, I shouldve expected this, I should've listened to my guts

ilygsm and pray that I get access to my main, OR to get my iPad, because rn..

I'm on my grandma's phone. Dad took EVERYTHING, my phone and iPad, my SIBLINGS phones and iPad, and the PC has a time limit

Grandma was just kind enough to let me watch her favorite things and fell asleep, such an angel

Farewell from us all for God knows how long, I don't want you to worry yet, I'll figure it out. Just don't depend on me for now okay? Everything will be fine Aka, and Moon too, everyone will be fine with and without me, and I don't want you to be scared

In fact, be happy I managed to talk to you! And tell you what to expect! Be happy about that, and about our interactions! There's still hope, I promise.

Even if I end up gone for a month or two, I'll try every now and then to come on grandma's phone and tell you everything. Other than that. That's all I have to say.

Goodbye.

-- Ori, Eve, Red, and Pebie

What months!???

Whyd he takes them I can't go months without talking to you ...i can't that was the thing i looked forward too the most

What did you do is this my fault somehow it probably is isn't it

I miss you so much already and I can't wait that long

I hope you get them back I don't know what I'll do if you can't 😭

@ch0cocrave @sk3tchyy42 @trashbins-stuff @sillyosclover @chimroller @anyone else who knew pb

[jules-ln]

About mythological ships:

What is your OTP? (favorite romantic/sexual relationship)

What is your BROTP? (favorite platonic relationship)

What is your NOTP? (the opposite of OTP)

You can say more than one in each category if you want

Sure, but it's going to be loooong and there might be some hot takes ahead

OTP

🔹️Patrochilles:I don't need to say what's obvious; but these two own my house, my dog, my soul

Like it's not so much that I think they're perfect for each other, is that I think even when they aren't perfect for each other they still love the other a lot

Besides, I think these two are very interesting Characters on their own right, so a relationship between the two is also very interesting to think about

🔹️Menelaus/Patroclus: I'm sorry, but I know myself and let me tell you, when I have a favorite ship, it always has the character that I don't ship with anyone but the other character, and the character I ship with everyone. So I don't ship Achilles with anyone but Patroclus, and I ship Patroclus with everyone.

So, Idk, I just thought that they must be very close for Menelaus to risk his life to get Patroclus' corpse back. And maybe one day Menelaus will be fed up with Helen and Patroclus will be angry with Achilles and maybe they help each to have a good time 👀

🔹️Briseis/Patroclus: I actually like this as an unrequited love scenario, I imagine Briseis loving Patroclus because he's the only man that has been kind to her in a while, and she doesn't know if it's really love, or if it's her emotions hanging to the one of the few sources of comfort she can find. Like she isn't sure if she would love him if they had meet during times of peace instead of war

Meanwhile, Patroclus just doesn't love her in that way, but he does loves her like a sister, and doesn't want to hurt her feelings either

🔹️Paris/Patroclus: listen, listen, LISTEN, I already said that I ship Patroclus with everyone, and in this case I just thought "Oh, I like Paris, I wished he had someone who didn't treat him like shit and appreciated him" and my brain immediately went "You know who would be amazing at that? That's right, Patroclus because if he can put up with Achilles' shit, he can put up with Paris' shit"

So basically I just want Patroclus to hug Paris against his tits and call him a good boy

🔹️Odysseus/Diomedes: For this I'll explain that I have the headcanon that both Odysseus and Penelope are AroAce and in a QPR

Meanwhile Diomedes is a baby gay who doesn't even know he's gay

So I have the headcanon that Diomedes has a very big crush on Odysseus, and Odysseus of course is like "Oh, this can be useful" and is basically just using Diomedes

🔹️Diomedes/Sthenelus: Like Briseis and Patroclus, I like them more as an unrequited love situation

I imagine Sthenelus being in love with Diomedes since they've met, but Diomedes just doesn't feel the same, he loves his friend, but not like Sthenelus would like him to

🔹️Agamemnon/Clytemenestra:

They are the same, to all the people that says that Agamemnon deserved it, so did Clytemenestra when Orestes killed her

Like, Clytemenestra was angry because it was HER daughter, but later she doesn't has any problem in killing someone else's daughter (Cassandra) So I know for a fact that had Agamemnon and Clytemenestra change places at Aulis, she would've done the same to Iphigenia

So this is a case of unlovable hand in unlovable hand lol

🔹️Peleus/Menoetius: I have nothing to say about this one except that for me is what if Patrochilles but old man yaoi

🔹️Helen/Andromache: this but in a toxic Yuri kind of way where Andromache feels guilty for cheating on Hector but not enough to actually stop and Helen is in for the fun

BROTP

🔹️Odysseus&Penelope: controversial opinion, but like I said, I think they both are AroAce that one day found each other and immediately there was a mutual understanding. So basically they're in a QPR

They want to be together because for them there's just nobody else in the world who can understand them like the other, and sometimes friendship is more powerful and long-lasting than romantic love

🔹️Achilles&BigAjax: I just like them being cousins

I have this headcanon that sometimes during battle Achilles would get up on Ajax' shoulders and then use him as a platform to jump and attack the Trojans lmao

🔹️Automedon&Patroclus: If Patroclus had to be Achilles's nanny, I think Automedon was Patroclus's nanny lmao

Like in my headcanon Automedon is a couple of years older than Patroclus, so Patroclus always goes to him when he wants advice or to complain about Achilles. And Automedon is more than happy to help him and be his older brother

🔹️Menelaus&Agamemnon: I think Agamemnon unironically cares a lot for his brother, and would try to protect him and do everything he can for him

🔹️Hector&Paris: I imagine these two have the relationship of "I hate you, but you ARE my brother"

🔹️Achilles&Odysseus: I love the idea of these two being friends.

I imagine at first Odysseus was like "I'm going to get close to Achilles so I can use him later" but then the dad instincts won, and he started to see him not as the best of the Greeks, but as a young man. And he starts thinking about that maybe Telemachus would be like him one day when he grows up

So he gets too attached and gives him good advice in different things, and of course Achilles doesn't listen to him at all, but he does appreciate the effort and they end up being close friends

🔹️Briseis&Iphis&Diomede: I just love the idea of Achilles' enslaved women being friends and supporting each other, they didn't have much, but they did have each other 🥺

NOTPs:

🔹️Achilles/Briseis: No, never, nope

Like, maybe if every freaking retelling of the iliad wouldn't try to force them to be together with the less chemistry imaginable and making Achilles forget that Patroclus even exist which in turns makes the whole story of the Iliad have no sense, I would like them more, but no

🔹️Achilles/Agamemnon: Short answer? No. Long answer? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

🔹️Poseidon/Patroclus: I'm sorry guys, I don't mess with this. Is just that personally I think the gods just see the humans as toys for their entertainment. So I imagine that if there was any relationship between these two, Poseidon would pretty much treat Patroclus as his personal sex toy, And I like my boy Patroclus too much for him to being used like that

🔹️Apollo/Cassandra: similar to Achilles/Briseis and Poseidon/Patroclus, with the added bonus that I think Apolla was a bitch with Cassandra. Like you can argue that Achilles deserved Apollo’s hate, but not Cassandra

[thatgirlinskullz]

i've been reading a lot of reactions and thoughts and reviews of the first 3 episode of Acolyte and i just don't, and cannot comprehend how so many people are just so against this show from the getgo.. some are even reviewbombing other shows and movies called acolyte because they're just so hung up on making this show fail. its sad, to be honest.

Is The Acolyte perfect? No, none of Star Wars is perfect, and i say that as someone who LOVES everything SW that i've seen so far, and if you say that "no, star wars is flawless" you're kidding yourself, but more power to ya i guess. i am not here to argue with anyone on their opinions and i never will, so if thats what you're looking for.. good for you???

anyway, obviously a lot of the "criticism" aka outright hate that Acolyte is getting is rooted in racism, homophobia and misogyny, cuz of course.. BUT ignoring that part, because i just can't deal with that part rn, people are saying that it's "lore-breaking" and that "it destroys anakin's uniqueness and makes him less special" and that it "recycles ideas" or whatever to which i'm just like ??????

i don't see it that way at all.

introducing another witch coven, essentially another religion, that has its own interpretation of the Force is nothing new or lore-breaking to SW. it has been done before when the midichlorians were introduced or when we learned of the Nightsisters and their magiks or when we saw the Mortis arc or The World Between Worlds or when we saw the Force Witches that Yoda meets ??? It doesn't intend on replacing any of the previous concepts we've known so far, it just EXPANDS on the idea of the Force. it builds on it and adds more interpretations.. might i say, "ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW" ?! cuz remember "from a certain point of view" ?? that's been a core idea in SW for so long i don't understand why this is so hard to fathom for some people.

this also connects to the ridiculous idea that the show "makes the Jedi look evil and destroys their significance" or something. people are saying that the Jedi are supposed to be heroes and the Acolyte shows them as invaders who steal children and possibly cover up crimes.. no, i don't see it that way. we've already known from the prequels and the Clone Wars that the Jedi were not perfect and that their beliefs were very limited to their beliefs and nothing else and they acted like they knew the answers when they obviously didn't. aka they were a liiiitttllee bit problematic, even if the core idea of them was to be "keepers of peace", they didn't always succeed or they took measures that may have been questionable to say the least. so showing a different perspective of the Jedi, in a different era, showing that their corruption and downfall was a loooong process and was building over time, just adds to the Jedi's complexity. they're not villains, but they're also not always heroes. to a family whose children they may "invite" to the Jedi Order, they may actually seem like invaders, because THEY ARE kinda enforcing their own religious beliefs and ideas on these people and especially the small, impressionable children. i don't see this as "lore-breaking" or erasing the Jedi's significance as "the good guys", i see it expanding in the idea of the Jedi and adding more depth to them and showing that there DOES need to be a balance between Jedi or Sith, good or bad, light or dark, one cannot exist without the other.

and the way the Twins in Acolyte erase how Anakin was special, how he was supposed to be the only one concieved of the Force? again, i don't see it that way. i see it as: Anakin was concieved BY THE WILL OF THE FORCE, he is still space jesus, HE is meant to bring balance because THE FORCE WANTS BALANCE. the Twins were concieved USING THE FORCE by the will of 2 mothers who wanted children. those two are not the same in my mind. i feel like until this point Anakin was the only one we knew of who'd been made with/by the Force, but that doesn't mean there had never been another similar case before, right? its just that we weren't aware, now we are. plus, knowing that some witches could use the Force to create life, adds to the idea that Plagueis and Sidius were researching creating life and cheating death, it means what they wanted to do was possible, and maybe they came across these exact witches? or their writings? and maybe used some of their techniques to experiment, maybe these techniques are part of how Palpy managed to return.. we don't know yet, but The Mothers creating the Twins doesn't erase any other previous concept or remove the significance if Anakin whatsoever. in my mind at least..

and the idea that "the show is recycling ideas" aka using the idea of twins again.. have you ever heard of a little quote by George Lucas " It's like poetry, they rhyme" ?? this has been a MAJOR part of SW ever since the prequels and they have been making references and nods and parallels between shows/movies/books/games for decades now and i think its a beautiful part of SW because they need to think of things that can work as "rhymes" in the given contexts, and that is ART in my mind..

yeah, the writing and line deliveries are a little wonky here and there, but it wouldn't be Star Wars otherwise. it has never been 100% perfection and that is fine. and i LOVE Star Wars and i will always sing its praises but i also see its flaws but as someone who has spent years in this fandom and has experienced the ups and downs of the franchise, i still don't see the Acolyte as "bad, lore-breaking fanfiction" as some claim it to be.

anyways, that's just my 2 cents, i don't intend to fight with anyone about this, i just needed to get this out of my system.

if you like Acolyte, cool. if you hate Acolyte, cool.

just.. try not to spread the hate too much? that's one part of SW that i am not proud of, how much hate some of can spew even when one of the main points of the franchise is that hate is bad and dangerous.. oh well.

anyway, again, I love Star Wars.

[dyns33]

Down the Pit - part 4

Aaaand here's Bane, Talia and Reader again, after a loooong time. And it's not even the ending yet.

Tag : @jaxitaxibolehlaf

It had been a year since Bane and Talia had come back into Y/N's life.

From the moment she had called her protector to say where she was, Ra's al Ghul had known where his daughter was too, and with whom. If he hadn't been delighted, he hadn't shown it.

Understanding that the young girl would not accept being separated from those who had raised her in the Pit, the leader of the League of Shadows had not tried to intimidate Y/N again, even accepted certain adjustments.

With all the money they had accumulated over the centuries, he paid for her trip to the temple, where she was allowed to stay for a week every evey three months.

At first, the other members looked at her with suspicion, almost contempt. She had no business here, she was weak, she risked putting their balance and safety at risk.

Then Bane had given them a simple look, without saying a word, and even if they kept their distance, they treated her with great respect.

Only Barsad behaved normally with her, or at least normally for a member of a ninja sect.

"Don't disturb my student." he had told her when they met, looking neutral.

"I don't intend to…"

"I felt that there was something before she ran away. Maybe she'll be more focused and hardworking now that you're here. She likes to impress. But she can also be distracted, and I refuse to let that happen."

Obviously, the man knew Talia well, because when she wasn't trying to escape him to spend time with Y/N, she did everything to show her all her knowledge, speed and fighting techniques.

It was a little scary to see her fight like that. It would have been useful in the Pit, but they were no longer in the Pit. It shouldn't be necessary.

Of course, Barsad didn't hurt her. He was tough and strict, but he held back enough to never go too far. He wasn't that nice to his other students, and it had nothing to do with age. Being the daughter of the leader, and Bane's protégée, gave certain advantages, despite all the obligations.

What was really scary was imagining her alone, out there, facing people who wouldn't be as nice as Barsad.

Y/N didn't dare say it, because it was already miraculous that she was in the Temple, but Bane seemed to guess what she had in mind, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Everything will be fine, habibi. She's strong. Our future leader. She has to prove herself, then everyone will obey her, and she won't risk anything."

"You can still understand that I'm not reassured."

"No. I trust her."

With a small smile, Barsad revealed to her that this was not entirely true. At the beginning of er training, Bane was very nervous, and even today, he often came to check that everything was okay.

It was the same the few times that Y/N, because she was bored and wanted to learn, joined Talia. When he learned what she was doing, the giant with the mask did not react well, first ordering Barsad not to take her as a student, then not to be too hard on her.

After each session, he waited for her in their room, asking her if she was in pain, checking the marks on her body, offering a massage or a bath.

His rage made the temple tremble when Barsad decided to make her pass the ice test. It was cold and dark in the water, and Y/N's first moment of understanding that she had just fallen into the frozen lake was to raise her head, wanting to go back to the surface. But seeing the shadow of the instructor, and everything he represented, she hesitated.

It was peaceful down there, despite everything else. Like in the Pit, dangerous, but so far from all these problems.

Seeing that she was not swimming back, Barsad had dove to get her, maybe because he wasn't as horrible as Talia said, or maybe because he knew what Bane would do to him if she died.

Surrounded by blankets and his arms, near a fire, Y/N was not left by the giant for several days, growling at those who tried to separate them.

Things could have been simpler and quieter when Talia and Bane came to visit her in Gotham. Their stay was always shorter than hers, barely a few days, and most of the time they didn't leave the apartment.

At first, Y/N had thought it was a question of security, and a little shyness. They had never lived in a big city, there were a lot of people, noises, smells, and the league had enemies who could take advantage of the crowd and confusion to attack.

She wasn't wrong, and that was one of the reasons why Bane refused all the outside activities she suggested. But he also refused many things that were harmless, like music, movies or chocolate.

All the things that Y/N had told them about in the Pit and that had made them dream.

Not understanding this useless overprotection, she asked him why, and the answer was like a slap in the face.

"I don't want her to be corrupted. These things, these people, they will dirty her. She doesn't need all that."

"… Why come here then ?"

"To be with you, habibi. You could come and settle in the temple if you wanted, you would be safe there, you would learn to defend yourself and we would no longer be separated."

"But I wouldn't be free."

"… I don't understand. Of course you will be free."

Apparently, they didn't have the same definition of freedom, like many other words.

Y/N couldn't completely blame Bane. He had been taken out of the Pit where he had grown up by the league. He knew nothing else and he owed them a debt. He couldn't go against Talia's biological father. So for him, their truth was the truth.

And their truth was that the majority of humanity was rotten, tarnished by society, lies, selfishness. Full of darkness and fear. It was important to protect Talia from that.

However, it also seemed unthinkable to separate her from Y/N. The young girl didn't want it, and Bane didn't want it either, without being able to understand that Y/N was part of the world he hated so much. She had been born there, she had grown up there, and even if she knew it wasn't perfect, she knew its positive points.

After the Pit, she knew even more how to appreciate fresh air, pure water, a warm bed, the chance to have the choice to do what she wanted. She also wanted that for the little girl, who discovered the world only during her short visits.

But for him, she was not free. No, she was locked in her job, in her rent, the need for money, the insecurity of the streets, the injustices done to women, in addition to all the other injustices.

At the Temple, with him, she would risk nothing. She could laugh with Talia, read, train, dance, eat, sleep peacefully. A simple life, but a wonderful life.

Unfortunately, there came a time when their difference of point of view became too important.

Maybe the league was not helping, the leader often spoke to Bane telling him that the situation could not last forever, and that he had to find a way to convince Y/N to come with them.

In any case, each visit to the Temple became harder because he always asked her if she really wanted to leave, accompanied by Talia who stared at her with hopeful eyes, while being in a bad mood and criticizing everything as soon as he was in Gotham.

"Don't do this." She sighed, holding back tears, after he had just refused to let them go to the movies.

"Too much noise. Too much risk. Stale air, horrible smells. And useless. Why pay to see something you can see here, on this screen ?"

"It's always more impressive on a big screen, Bane. I just want Talia to see a movie in the theater, so she can experience it."

"No. It's stupid."

"Don't say I'm stupid." Y/N asked, trying really hard to keep calm, but her voice was starting to shake.

Bane noticed. He stared at her for a long time, as if he didn't understand what she had just said, or why she was saying it.

"I didn't say you were stupid, Habibi."

"Of course you did. Don't you realize that every time you criticize something here, you're criticizing me ?"

"Not at all. I…"

"I'm part of this world, Bane. I try to accept yours, to understand it. To adapt. But I get nothing in return. You hate everything here, while you loved my stories in the Pit. You insisted that I tell them. You wanted this life for Talia too ! What happened ?"

They both knew what had happened. The league, but also reality. The stories were always beautiful and perfect. Bane had quickly seen the horrors from the outside, and in addition to his respect for Ra's, he approved of their mission to clean up the world.

But he continued to see Y/N as an exception. Perfection. He wanted to protect her, and for that she had to come with them. But she didn't want to.

He could have forced her. Without any problem, he could have put her on his shoulder and taken her to the airport, to keep her in the Temple. If he did that, he was no better than their jailers in the Pit. Bane wanted her to come of her own free will, so that they could live happily together.

Talia too, who came timidly into the kitchen, stopping the discussion because they did not want to fight in front of her, even if she had already heard them.

That night, Y/N slept on the couch, without warning, first letting Talia go to bed, then Bane, before taking a pillow and going into the living room without saying anything.

The giant did not try to hold her back or make her change her mind. The first night, he still came to sleep on the floor, next to her. Like before.

Then Y/N did the same thing the following day, and at the end of the week-end, when she woke up, they were gone.

[scaredexpert]

Oof... I have to say that every single storyline in that episode was unsatisfying imo

Bobby waking up 30 mins into the episode and everyone just lightheartedly moving on?

Buck and Christopher didn't hug goodbye and Buck and Eddie also didn't hug?? This episode's Buckley-Diaz scenes were just kinda meh aside from Eddie telling Christopher goodbye (pls Christopher come back next season wahhh) and I liked seeing Eddie's parents be more supportive

Bucktommy scene was cute but there continues to be no chemistry between them so what's the point???

Madney taking in Mara in a truly flabbergasting series of events???? There's no way they'd be approved as a kinship home for Mara, and there is no possible way on this earth they would be licensed as foster caregivers that quickly. Also, if Ortiz's interference removed Mara from Henren, why would she not continue to interfere with Mara being placed with Madney? (As if such a person would even have influence in this situation in the first place.) I mean, I like that the outlook is positive now, so yay? This one might just be me because I work in foster care and I just know how things work, but it is so grating. Oh, also, there is no way Hen would be able to just march into the group home and see Mara. No. Way. A fabricated tale that doesn't exist. I know, I know, I know, it's tv. But they could have done a modicum of research :')

I thought we were supposed to get some kind of cliffhanger????? I mean, I guess?? I'm not feeling a lot of suspense lmao. Gerrard will be captain while Bobby figures out how to take the 118 back, there will be drama until suddenly it'll all be better again.

And lastly, Family Feud theory is bones </3 But if it turns out eventually that Eddie is queer, we will all know that Family Feud was always on our side lmao

Okay, I guess the one satisfying part was that Amir's character and intentions were finally made clear... he was so clearly innocent, just hurt. I appreciated his role in this season and the actor KILLED it.

Dang I'm just frustrated with this season's writing overall. Bi Buck is wonderful, but I can't say I enjoyed a lot else, but it seems like I'm in the minority idk! I understand it was only 10 eps though and I'm still glad we got the season. I'm a Buddie shipper btw, but if it doesn't go canon, I'll live. However... it seems almost like the writers themselves haven't even decided, and um... they need to decide and then they need to commit to what they decide. I've been saying that for a loooong time. Keeping it THIS open-ended and hinting around is a disservice to everyone at this point, I think. I just think they're scared to make a choice, honestly.

I'm relieved to hopefully not be thinking about 9-1-1 anymore for a few months, but I have to find a new lil hyperfixation for a while. Suggestions? Lmao and does anyone wanna talk about our feelings? 🥲

[littleclover]

Interesting how about 2 months ago ppl on this app were trying to cancel finnster for being bait and being transphobic bc of "bait" even though they previously mentioned they were already on hrt and they previously mentioned they were still a little unsure but they knew they were not cis, all of that has been known for a loooong time, yet ppl still called their whole identity bait... Now that they have come out can everyone please stop trying to egg crack people irl. We all should know by now that it takes a while to understand one's identity ESPECIALLY when you find out ur gender if fluid or flux. I'm flux and very very cis presenting irl (since my gender mostly varies from different shades of femme but also goes into the creature territory like 30% of the time) and I would be very peeved if someone tried to egg crack me (specifically bc ppl still see creatures as invalid) it isn't your business, people do not owe you their gender identity, you do not owe others your gender identity either...

It also goes to show that people just don't pay attention to actual gender identity, all the egg crackers do is cause discord around labels. Labels aren't anything but tools to understand someone, they aren't made to replace actual identity. Finnster has been out about all of their gender identity for a long long time, they just didn't want to label themselves (and from some posts I've seen trying to cancel them, this was one of the biggest problems people had with them) you don't need to say "hello world, I am genderfluid" in those exact words to identify as genderfluid. It's just weird how people literally went "they said they aren't cis, but they didn't say specifically what their label is so I'm going to disregard them explicitly coming out as not cis and call them cis", because how can you use that as a way to call them transphobic when that line of reasoning is hella truscum. "They are taking HRT for the bit", you are the reason why people think HRT is easy to access furthering people to want to make it more inaccessible. You can't take HRT without going through a million different hoops. That should have already been enough as a come out already. They have such a big platform it makes sense that they would need time to figure out who they actually are before coming out...

Anyways let's stop egg cracking and label obsessing in 2024

[shouldiusemyname]

So, again tagging @bengiyo in regards to what he wrote here (what can I say, you make me think 🤷🏽‍♀️)

About Chot - I don't even know if people get how important he is. For some context - I am not so young anymore. I have been a part of the queer community for a loooong time now. My life is 90% in the closet.

Yesterday I met with my best friends (aka the 10% of my life where I am out). The amount of people we know that are Chot and Krit is mind blowing. I don't think people understand this enough. I have friends that are not allowed to bring their partners home. Friends that have moved to the other side of the world because they can't be who they are. I am not out because of my father. My best friend went back into the closet for 11 years because of her partner's family.

Chot accepting his fate and resigning to the fact that the past 8 years with Krit are the way it's going to be was heartbreaking to watch and so so real. And his reaction to hearing that Krit is taking him to his parents... I was very much close to tears myself.

I think that what the show does with his story is very clever. We only get Chot's side of the story detached from the parents' perspective. People need to see it this way because these stories tend to go in the way of oh look the parents are finally able to overcome their prejudice and homophobic upbringing to accept their gay child. We should give them a round of applause and a bouquet of flowers! When in fact, no. We don't. The focus needs to be on those who have had no choice but to hide or leave in order to not make their parents feel slightly uncomfortable.

Now For the less emotional part... Chot represents community, and community is so important! I don't know where I would be mentally if I didn't have my community. Chot is perspective (for everyone basically, but mostly) for Pat.

So, yeah. That's what I'm thinking right now...

[babyboywinchester]

Wait hold on. I don't care about the actors in general but Misha didn't say fag when he clarified that he was straight, and the times he's used it, it was perfectly in context and not something he uses to actually talk about queer people? I'm confused why this is an issue (and tbh I'm also confused why we hold actors up to these weird standards when none of j2m are perfect, they're just some guys who mostly try their best)

That ask didn’t say he used the word fag when clarifying he was straight. I said he went on to say the word fag, I believe there were a few years between these two instances? Regardless, I find the things he says/does lecherous and icky. I don’t hold any celebrity on a pedestal or expect them to hold unrealistic standards… at the end of the day I could give two fucks less because it doesn’t effect me or the people I love… but I can, and will, call out gross or inappropriate behavior when and where I see it. Jared’s done questionable things, for certain, but people always try to paint him out as some evil wicked monster. Which I think is unfair, but people are going to believe what they want to believe. Jensen Stans typically treat that man like he is a god that can do no wrong and yet he’s also showed some icky behavior himself… I’ve noticed though that I only tend to get these anons after I’ve said something negative about Misha, which leads me to believe that you, or the others sending them, only seem to truly care when he is cast in a bad light. But, what do I know? I can’t look at your blog since you sent this anonymously.

Misha used the word fag when some people didn’t think he should do so considering he isn’t part of the queer community as a whole, which doesn’t bode well for his record of having to walk back coming out as bi and having to come out as a heterosexual man, or the near constant queerbaiting he himself engages in but then tries to blame others (read: writers, CW, anyone with eyes who can see destiel was never and would never be canon, etc. etc.) of doing exactly what it is that HE is doing. At the end of the day whatever… he’s pawning rubes out of their money over one fetishized gay ship on a show that ended over four years ago… but I’m not one of those idiots. If they want to set their money on fire by giving it to that guy then by all means…

If you want a better understanding of the icky things he has said @nancylou444 has a loooong list. This is like the… third or fourth time I’ve directed someone over there. Or don’t take a look. It’s no skin off my ass. 🤷‍♀️

[decepti-thots]

springer for the ask meme?

one aspect about them i love: Springer is a character who is basically in the wrong story and, on some level, knows this. Or rather, he wants to believe that; he wants to believe that the problem is that he's in a story that doesn't allow for him to be the kind of uncomplicatedly good hero he feels like he ought to be, and so maybe it's OK if he's not. He's someone who has been complicit in a lot of terrible things because he told himself step-by-step that because they were the Good Guys, because he was the good influence, it couldn't possibly have actually been terrible that they did those things. And he keeps trying to make decisions that will correct this, that will actually set things right, and it never quite seems to work because it takes him so long to understand that the issue is that the Wreckers exist at all, and he can't have the fight without the violence underpinning it. Huh. Writing that out just made me draw a new parallel between him and Prowl, actually. Wild.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: Springer is a guy who has done really bad things, and enabled worse things. Impactor went too far after a loooong build up, one which Springer canonically managed to justify to himself for a very long time and was only able to try and fix when it was already too late. Not to mention that he turned a blind eye to the complicity of all the other Wreckers even in the aftermath. His own sense of innate goodness is what allowed that! And the Wreckers saga is, from his perspective, kind of this long trek to finding out what you can actually do about that.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: this is kind of coming at it sideways, but it includes him, so. I don't think Kup was a great influence in some ways! I think he loved Springer a lot and that this was immensely important. I also think that Springer was constructed in wartime and immediately handed over to a military guy with the explicit intent that he be shaped for said war, the main difference between him and an actual MTO mostly being that at least Springer didn't just wake up on the battlefield. Some of what Springer was as a Wrecker- willing to give himself over to violence and romanticize it as necessary and heroic, defining himself by a institution that inflicts it- probably arose from that before Impactor ever entered the picture, from what Kup taught him. I think it can be harder to acknowledge things like that when they come from the people who genuinely loved you, rather than people who outright mistreat you.

one character i love seeing them interact with: VERITY. I love their relationship so much. I think it's so important that the relationship that ultimately allows him to actually find a way to move beyond everything is a) the first relationship he really chose in a sense and b) the first relationship he forges away from the context of war. Verity, for all her accomplishments (RIP Overlord) is not a soldier. I love what we see of them in Requiem, where they've clearly been talking through a lot of his shit while they're living in that barn. They're dealing with things! She can tell him to talk about his weird robot Dad feelings! I love them.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: I don't know if it's that I'd say I want more of him and Tarantulas interacting. But gosh did I want more of Springer talking... about him. We get these little hints of how Springer has handled the revelation of who he is, we know he and Verity discussed it. But. It's so hard to get a handle on exactly how Springer feels about it. I guess that's kind of the point. But I still wanted it, haha. Alternatively, Roadbuster. If you've read Zero Point, you know we see a little of what Roadbuster caring for Springer looked like, and I would have loved to see a little more direct interaction in Sins before he... uh. Explodes.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Springer did not really get along with Ultra Magnus a lot of the time, though there wasn't any actual antagonism per se. The problem was that Springer always looked like a real moral beacon of the Wreckers until Magnus showed up, at which point the artifice became uncomfortably clear, because Magnus always remembered a dozen moral concerns that Springer was good at sliding past without acknowledging. It was just enough to remind him of all the qualms he managed to avoid thinking about too hard most of the time.

[fox-from-fairytale]

After finishing playing season 2 I felt tired as if I was the one crawling in snow

I loved this season so much, maybe even more than the first one, even if I cried so much at that scene with Lee and every time he got mentioned I kinda wished he was still there, but I preferred playing as Clementine if I have to be honest. Still, there are some things of this season I don't like:

At the beginning I didn't mind Jane, but all her comments about Sarah and how the others were just a weight to Clem were upsetting me. Honestly, the more I spoke to her the more I knew I wasn't going to stick around with her for too long.

I didn't want to let her die, and I even thought about shooting Kenny, but remembering she told Clem "now you're going to see who he really is" something rubbed me the wrong way about her. And I was right. She put the baby in danger to prove her point. What if in the meanwhile something happened to the car? What if, dying, Clem didn't hear the baby after? And left without knowing AJ was still alive? Yeah, no. Good riddance. She didn't want AJ around anyway, and even if I killed Kenny because I wasn't trusting him either anymore, I still would have told her to fuck off.

I started this season hugging Kenny every chance I got, but after the whole thing with Jane happened and he hugged Clem I was like "yeahhhh... let's not do that anymore for a loooong time". I felt so awkward man. I still went with him. I guess I needed someone to still be with Clementine, because I hated how they all just... died. What's the point of going on if everyone just die? And I guess for Kenny is the same. Plus I cried so hard at his whole "just take the kids".

The whole thing resolving in a Kenny vs Jane was so weird. They built this whole thing between him and Luke and then it was with Jane? It would have been harder to me if it was with Luke, and not even because I like(d) him, but because he wouldn't have put AJ in danger, especially for the same stupid reason Jane did. I thought that choosing if to sit with him or Kenny was the first before a final and more difficult "choose if to save Kenny or Luke" or maybe with which one we should have gone with, but nothing.

I felt quite disappointed in Luke after the break out. I don't blame him for being caught by Carver, the guy wasn't sleeping or eating for who knows how long, but after that... what happened to him? I understand, after losing so many people dear to him, he wouldn't exactly be acting the same, but... he seriously thought about leaving Sarah like that, and put the group in danger just to go and fuck with Jane. I don't know, there were so many things that happened that made me feel as if I was with Nick instead. When he died at least I wasn't as sad like I was for Sarah, Alvin and Rebecca ig.

Sarah, who we showed how to defend herself and saved just to see her die that way. I'm not surprised she is so hated by the players (not because i agree with them, I just expected it from them), but doesn't mean I'm less disappointed lmao she clearly needed help, but it doesn't mean she didn't deserve it or she couldn't get better at defending herself and surviving that world once she got it. I liked her, a lot, and she was a good friend to Clem. She even told Carver, the man that frightened her so much she just "ceased to function", to stop it when he hit Clem. To me that was enough.

This post is getting too long, so I'm going to stop there. Just one more thing...

What happened to Christa?

[tsukarysgrimoire]

Ranting of the day

Beware loooong rant ahead.

There are many things I can't understand, not because I'm stupid, far from it, but simply because I don't think like most people.

All my life I've felt strange, isolated, as if I didn't belong in the world around me. I still do, but at least now I know why, and that's been a great relief. I remember the first time I went to see my psychiatrist, I said to him 'Doctor, I'm not normal' and he replied 'What's normal?', which is a good question, because thanks to him I understood that there isn't a right way of thinking and a wrong way of thinking. We can't control how our brain, our mind, reacts and works. After more than fifteen years of therapy, I have an explanation for why I feel out of step, why I don't think like other people. It's called HPI, which, I've learnt from a little research, doesn't mean that I'm more intelligent than others, but that I'm intelligent in a different way. That my way of thinking doesn't follow the same path as 'normal' people. If a 'normal' person's way of thinking is a highway, then mine is a country road, slowly winding, with many stops to admire the landscape, the trees, the fields… And a lot of junctions leading to other places, other things.

Add to that the fact that I might also be borderline Asperger's and you can see why I'm not cut out to understand things like most people. I react differently to many things. For example, a situation that would move most people can leave me indifferent, and conversely, a situation that most people would ignore can send me into a state of incredible depression or distress. When I was little, my mother used to say to me, 'You'd cry over a dead leaf'!

Probably because of all this, or the fact that I was bullied throughout my schooling for being different, I've also become a hard person who doesn't forgive easily, either myself or others. Loyal to the bone, I can't stand betrayal, or at least what I perceive to be betrayal. And like many people in my situation, I can't stand injustice, or what I perceive to be injustice.

Of course, it's not just about my everyday life, but also about how I perceive the media.

That includes, of course, the show we all love, The Bad Batch.

When they first appeared in The Clones Wars, I can't say I was impressed. Their team was so full of clichés that it was a clichés in itself: the cheap Rambo, the nerdy guy with glasses, the big bully with big arms and a big heart and… the lone sniper. While I was indifferent to the first three, I was drawn to Crosshair, his design, his character, his outspokenness and the fact that he was a sniper. The world saw him as a selfish, proud, indifferent prick, but I saw someone who dared to speak the naked truth, the truth that no one wants to admit, but which is very real. I've read a lot of reactions applauding the fact that Rex punched Crosshair in the face for being so insensitive. But as I see it, it's not Crosshair's fault that Rex is so weak-minded that he can't handle the truth as it is. What Crosshair says may be brutal, but it's the truth.

Crosshair isn't a perfect character, far from it, and that's why I loved him. I'm bored with nice, fearless heroes who can do no wrong. … Even when I was a kid, I liked the 'bad guys' more than the 'good guys'. I seem to particularly like the dark characters, the ones who aren't afraid to do what needs to be done, even if you end up hating them for it.

I hated the first two seasons of the show for that reason. The good heroes running away from the evil empire for no real reason and thinking they're better than they are because they didn't fall into the trap… lol.

Not to mention that I had absolutely no interest in the kid they picked up along the way. She was just an extra we could have done without.

The only reason I watched the show was Crosshair. And I was very disappointed, not only by the show, but also by people's reactions. Of course, everyone's entitled to their opinion, as I am. I'm certainly not going to apologise for it. I'm certainly not going to apologise for thinking differently to the masses, and I'm not going to apologise for making my point like everyone else; the only thing I want to apologise for is arguing about it with other users of the site.

Here's a non-exhaustive list of opinions that annoy me and how I see things.

1- Crosshair's betrayal: Is that so? That's probably the thing I find most pathetic and laughable at the same time. The big bad Crosshair who betrayed his good brothers for an evil Empire…

I don't even know where to start.

If there are traitors in this mess, it's the Batch and Hunter in particular. They're the ones who chose to run off and leave Crosshair behind, they're the ones who decided to ‘forget all about’ Crosshair, thank you Echo, another point that pisses me off, but we'll come back to it later.

Oh yes, ‘but Crosshair was shooting at them’! They're soldiers, it's not the first time they've been shot at, it's their life. I can understand the surprise of seeing their brother turn on them, but I can't understand why they decided to abandon him like a dog. Tech can pride himself on being supra intelligent, he couldn't even realise that Crosshair's actions weren't normal. Like, he's been a pain up until now, true, but he was not dangerous. The empire takes him aside and half an hour later, he's turned against us… No, nothing, it's completely normal, it's part of his severe and unyielding nature…

And if it stopped there…

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is done to find Crosshair and help him. In fact, they get to Ord Mantel and it's as if Crosshair never existed. They start their mediocre little lives as errand boys for the lizard and are content with that. They don't even talk about making a plan to save Crosshair, which is strange since they have 99 plans up their sleeves.

In fact, they loved Crosshair so much that just days after abandoning him to his fate without looking back, they gave his comlink to his replacement, and if that's not a sign that they had no intention of saving him, then what is? …

'Yeah, but they don't know where he is'… they didn't know where Tantiss was either, but that didn't stop them wasting 6 months looking for Omega. Whereas for Crosshair… NOTHING! Not even for a second!

'They didn't know about the chips', at least not at first, because once they found out and saw what it was like … well, NOTHING, again. Crosshair was a prisoner of his own mind, and no one cared.

Speaking of the chip, they forgave Wrecker for trying to kill them and their precious Omega, while Crosshair had to prove time and again that he was indeed on their side. 'Yeah, but Wrecker apologised!' … Seriously, you kick your brother out of the house because he didn't apologise for making a mistake? … I don't know what world you live in, but it's definitely not mine.

And speaking of that, Hunter and the Batch never apologized either for abandoning Crosshair and leaving him to fend for himself in enemy territory.

'They had to protect Omega" Oh, really? And how did they do that? By dragging her along on their pointless missions? By exposing her to human traffickers, slavers, murderers, bounty hunters… If they'd really wanted to protect Omega, they'd have left her with Cut and Sue. Not to mention the fact that they put themselves and the girl in danger to save complete strangers who meant absolutely nothing to them, while their own brother… guess what… oh yeah, NOTHING!

2- Tech death is Crosshair's fault. Oh? And how? He was imprisoned and tortured on Tantis while his 'nice' brothers were having a good time on Pabu.

Crosshair risked his life to send his brothers orders to hide and lay low, and what do they do? They go to a council of Empire bigwigs and get caught like rookies.

But of course it's Crosshair's fault.

On the other hand, it's strange that I haven't seen anyone pointing the finger at Guerrera. After all, he's the one who rigged the place with explosives, the one who refused to back down because the lives of a handful of clones were less important than his own personal vendetta.

It's true that Guerrera is a good hero, fighting against the evil empire no matter how many hundreds of innocents he kills in his war.

3- Echo is such a good brother and a mother hen. Are you sure we watched the same show? Because Echo doesn't seem like that to me. He's a bitter, tired man who only stays with the Batch because he has nowhere else to go and feels it's his duty, but as soon as he finds somewhere else and a duty he feels is more important, oof! He's gone without a second thought.

Echo, like Omega, is the odd man out in the Batch, but unlike Omega, he gives no indication that he's really trying to fit in. He's just there, and on several occasions he gives the impression of bitterly regretting it.

Of course, he comes back to lend a hand, no pun intended, when the Batch needs it, but I don't think it's as a sign of brotherhood or belonging, he does it because he feels it's his duty, nothing more. If he really felt part of the Batch, he probably wouldn't have told the others to forget about Crosshair without thinking it through. He who was a prisoner and used against his will to kill his own brothers didn't even have the decency to insist on saving one of his rescuers when Crosshair found himself in the same situation. He didn't give a damn. His interactions with Crosshair are close to absolute zero and as warm and welcoming as the Barton 4 climate!

It takes a lot more than that for me to consider him a 'good brother'…

4- Crosshair is a murderer. I have to admit that this one makes me laugh.

Crosshair is a soldier, a sniper, trained to kill on command. How many soldiers do you know who have never killed? You make me laugh with your reductive value judgements. The Batch was an elite commando unit designed for secret missions that no one else could carry out. Do you really think they never killed? Hell, the first thing we learn about them in the Clone Wars is that they killed a Yalbec queen for a 'minor uprising'… That alone proves they've got blood on their hands, all of them.

Crosshair does bad things, I'm well aware of that. Inexcusable, perhaps. But who do you think is the killer? The one who gives the order, or the weapon that carries it out? Because that's all Crosshair is to the Empire. A weapon.

He orders his men to shoot innocent people in Guererra's camp, that's right, and kills one of his men for refusing. At this point, he's still under the influence of the chip, a good little soldier, loyal to the death. And yes, he kills that separatist woman, but what do you think would have happened if he hadn't? He and Cody and every clone in their unit would have been executed for treason. Not to mention, if that woman hadn't been killed, there's a good chance the Empire would have wiped out the entire planet. Is sacrificing one life to save millions of others such a bad choice?

He kills Nolan in cold blood. So? Don't tell me you don't die for it too.

He kills his unit on Kamino. If he hadn't, what do you think would have happened? Crosshair didn't want to kill his brothers, he wanted them to join him, and that wouldn't have been possible if the Imperials had stayed alive. Granted, it wasn't the best method, but it was his way of showing that he didn't give a damn about those men and only wanted his brothers.

For all the good it did him.

5- The Kamino Fiasco. While we're on the subject…

Again, I have so much to say about this that one post wouldn't be enough.

Yet another moment that many have summarised as 'Crosshair's Betrayal'. Once again, it makes me laugh out loud. For an entire season, the Batch ignored Crosshair, except when he was right under their noses. Kamino is the height of their stupidity. Not only did they never do anything to help Crosshair out of the mess they left him in, but now they're rushing to save poor little Hunter from the great danger of his traitorous brother… What do you think went through Crosshair's mind at that moment? When he realised that he wasn't even worth saving, but the whole gang was rushing to Hunter's rescue? That complete strangers who meant absolutely nothing to the Batch were more worth saving than he was?

I, too, would have taken it badly, and I, too, would have let my anger show.

Especially as the Batch's behaviour was far from stellar. They spend literally two whole episodes blaming Crosshair for everything, insulting him, showing him how much they despise him, how happy they are without him with his replacement, how useless he is to them.

"If you had come back to us, we would have taken you back" … yes, and how? when he was being watched day and night by Rampart and his gang. When the chip was still there to distort his thinking. How? When the first thing you do when you see him is point your guns at him?

The Batch treated Crosshair worse than a dog. That moment when he and Omega were freed from the flooded room and I-don't-know-who rushed in to hug Omega as Hunter stopped Crosshair's slide with a kick is still stuck in my throat. Is that how good brothers are? … Well, with a family like that, there's no need for enemies!

And when he saves the little princess from drowning and is thanked by having three blasters aimed at his back, that's family?

The Batch treated Crosshair so well, they were so understanding, so welcoming, so forgiving, that Crosshair had no choice but to stay with the Empire. Not because he wanted to - his reaction to the Marauder's departure proves he's disappointed in his so-called family - but because it's the only place he has left. I remain convinced that if those fools had done otherwise, Crosshair would have gone with them. But alas…

I too would have chosen the Empire in those circumstances.

By the way, I don't know if you noticed, but the ONLY time Hunter and the Batch take Crosshair at his word is when he claims he doesn't have his chip. It's the ONLY time nobody asks any questions or Hunter believes what Crosshair says and takes it at face value. No one is even suggesting that the Empire can lie, not even the ultra-intelligent Tech. No, they just take his word for it, and that's the end of it. They don't even try to see if it's true...

6- Hunter. I didn't like Hunter in The Clone Wars, he was too much of a caricature, but in The Bad Batch I really hated him.

Don't be fooled, Hunter and the Batch are not nice little heroes because they ran away from the big bad Empire. Their decision was stupid and nothing could support it. Tarkin sent them to destroy a rebel camp and instead they came across refugees. SO? Does that prove the Empire is evil? No, it just proves that Tarkin had access to bad information, and I'm sure that happened a lot during the war. Especially if you're a secret squad and you're probably doing illegal things in the name of the Republic, like the rebellion on Yalbec!

Crosshair's reaction, even though influenced by the chip, is the most normal in my opinion. At the stage where Hunter and his gang are running away like cowards, there's still no incontrovertible proof that the Empire is evil, and no proof that the Jedi are innocent. From the clones' point of view, of course. To conclude that the Empire is evil after a single mission that could have just been bad intelligence is unjustified. Sure, we know what it is, but the clones and the galaxy do NOT. At least not yet. It would have seemed a lot less artificial, a lot less "scenarium", if the Batch had stayed around for a while, maybe all the way to Kamino, until they realised the truth and then thought, "OK, that's it, we're out of here". But for them to decide on their own that the Empire is evil after only three days… No, that's just stupid.

Hunter acting like a complete idiot at the beginning of the third season sums up what's been going on all along. You can make excuses for his behaviour, he has none for me. He betrayed his brother, never did anything to save him, as the Kamino episodes prove. As long as Hunter is there, no one moves, but as soon as Hunter is gone, a rescue team is launched, not for Crosshair, but for the Great Leader himself. If that isn't proof that it was Hunter who prevented any rescue attempts…

Not only has he behaved like an idiot throughout the series, but he's got the nerve to ask for explanations… Crosshairs owes him nothing, and certainly no explanations. He did nothing, nothing, he just went with the flow, because with the Republic gone and no one to give him orders, poor little Hunter was so lost he didn't even know how to be a soldier anymore.

Hunter is a hypocrite, he claims he didn't want to put his team in danger from Crosshair, but he doesn't mind putting them in danger from everything else. If I had a sharp tongue, I'd say that Hunter was glad to get rid of Crosshair because he was the only one who dared to open his mouth and tell Hunter what he thought. The rest are just well-trained dogs.

He leaves Crosshair to his fate, just as he leaves the Regs to theirs. Basically, he's a free man and doesn't give a damn about the rest.

It's also funny to note that once Omega is with them, the Batch becomes almost useless. Gone is the 100% success rate, they no longer know how to fight, how to strategise, how to be soldiers.

And his favouritism towards Omega is just sickening. She's the little darling, she comes before everyone and everything, to the point where on several occasions she's the one giving the orders and Hunter follows them without batting an eyelid. Hunter does for Omega what he refused to do for Crosshair and many others. After Tech, the main instigator of a reaction in Crosshair's favour, is dead, Hunter spends SIX LONG MONTHS looking everywhere for his beloved Omega, but for Crosshair nothing, not even a minute of his precious time. He didn't look for him when he fled the Empire, and he doesn't look for him after Eriadu. All he cares about is Omega, the rest of the universe can die for all he cares.

Maybe that's normal for you, but not for me.

I don't expect you to share my opinion, far from it, and you can call me crazy or stupid, it doesn't matter. I'm not saying it is THE truth, but it is MY truth. Since everyone is so open with their opinions, I've decided to be too. I'm biased, I know that and I don't care. You may not like it, you may hate me for the way I see things, it's your opinion.

If you feel like arguing, know that you won't change my mind, just as my post probably hasn't changed yours.

[scarfacemarston]

I went No Contact from my birth family a loooong time ago and we live pretty distantly from the most conservative in-laws so I'm personally doing fine this particular holiday weekend, but I saw your post and I'm *trying* to interact more with folks when I'm free and have the spoons, and I'd love to help distract if you're stuck with unpleasant company--I remember how holidays with toxic family are. You are not alone!

So for asks... I remembered those traditional "anniversary gift" themes recently and I think they would have been a thing in the early 1900s in America if I understand the history correctly? (I am not a historian so apologies if I am way off base.) Either way, I was wondering if you think Abigail and John would like to partake in those sort of things, whatever was established tradition, or do you think they'd prefer to have less-traditional celebrations or gifts?

I'm so sorry you've had family struggles. It sounds like you're doing better now, but that doesn't erase the pain of it happening in the first place. Thank you for reaching out. It's so appreciated. <3 As for your question:

It took a while for me to look this up because there is so little information on the topic! I even went academic and went through sites like JSTOR. (It's a vast database.)

So we have a problem to start with. This is a question about social history, which is essentially any history that is not about a rich, white, Christian man. They were written about in "traditional history." The problem is that social history is difficult to study as the "other" (that's the legitimate term) does not leave as many records. Suppose you want to write about another race, gender, working class, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. In that case, you have to be prepared to research outside of the box and go against the grain, as historians call it. Therefore, researching anything about the RDR gang can be super challenging. Abigail and John are from the "Wild West" and were working class, so there isn't much information on people like them. However, we do have shopping trends from middle-class people to give us clues.

Anniversaries, as we know them, didn't seem to be widely celebrated until around 1910. Hallmark, a really popular card company, helped boost anniversaries with their cards. They opened up in the 1920s. The jewelry boom of the 1940s also encouraged people to buy jewelry for people's anniversaries.

That is not to say that no one ever celebrated anniversaries. Multiple sites mention Medieval people celebrating it, but it does not appear as prevalent an event until very late in the Victorian era/early Edwardian era. Abigail and John were on the cusp of that timeline, with John dying in 1911.

Now, Valentine's Day seemed to be a far larger ordeal. Many Valentine's Day cards and ads for Valentine's Day gifts exist. That has a long history and was celebrated at that time. I'd be shocked if John and Arthur didn't see Bessie and Hosea celebrate it. (They could have also celebrated their anniversary, who knows.) Same with Dutch if he was super serious with Anabelle. I think Jake and Sadie could have celebrated something similar; it just seems to be in Jake's personality. I think it's possible that Arthur celebrated Valentine's Day with Mary and later John with Abigail. (Of course, Dutch with Anabelle or Molly, Bessie and Hosea, and Jake and Sadie.)

I know that may not be the answer you were looking for, but it was what I could find. Let me know if you want links to my sources. They're nothing fancy.