#because i didn't want to become a gay symbol

[eyesxxyou]

❝ sunshine pt.2 ❞ (hobie brown x male!reader)

｡ﾟ･ ¡ content. hobie x male!reader. reader pretends to hate dislike hobie. gay longing. denial of feelings. a little internalized homophobia. leg humping. handjob thru underwear. lots of kissing. hobie being a lil shut. weeks of avoiding hobie become moot when you and him find yourselves alone in a bathroom together.

wc: 3.6k

You wish you hated Hobie Brown.

It would be so easy, wouldn't it? He kissed you, did unspeakable things to you in that closet. And you let him. You enjoyed even, you relished in the way his mouth felt, his lithe fingers sinking into your flesh. the way he cooed in your ear. It would be easy to write him off completely, hate him for the rest of your life, his smug face, his hooded eyes that gaze into yours and hold secrets only known between you, him, and God.

But you don't hate him. You can't. You hate yourself more than anything. You should have never indulged him, never let him put a single finger on you. Because now, when you lie in bed at night and close your eyes, all you can see is him on his knees, feel your cock sliding down the pocket of his throat while he looks up at you through his lashes with those dark eyes of his. You can't get it up any other way. Women don't do it for you anymore.

The moment the two of you left the closet you told everyone to leave. You picked up Hobie’s clothes and shoved them into his arms before sending him out the door with the rest of them. You never once looked him in the eye.

Your friends asked Hobie what had happened inside the hour you spent together and Hobie, being quite the convincing liar, simply shrugged as if he had no idea what had set you off. “Nothin’. Think ‘e migh’ be claustrophobic.” But he knew. You both would always know, no matter how hard you attempted to scrub it from your mind. He’d keep it a secret if you did. He might start shit from time to time but he wasn’t into outing people. He’d keep the secret for you if you didn't want it.

You know better. You know yourself. If you were alone with him, something like that would happen again and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.

So you avoided Hobie like the plague after that night. Every invitation to hang out was promptly turned down with an excuse that was only a thinly veiled lie, obvious to no one except for Hobie who knew better than to accept that you were sick 3 weeks in a row.

It was understandable. He had made you question everything you had known about yourself all within a matter of an hour. Why would you want to be around him? You feared him and everything he symbolized to you.

“It’s Hobie, isn't it?” Your friend, Riri, sighed. She had come in person to get you out of the house. There was no pretending to be sick, no feigning exhaustion. She came and she called you out so accurately you feared that Hobie might have told her what had happened in the closet. Your chest squeezed and you lost your breath, terrified that she may know.

You scoffed, anxiety swelling within your chest as you pretend to roll the question off your shoulders. “Hobie? Why would I care about Hobie?”

“Everyone knows you can't stand him. And you haven't been the same since we stuck y’all in the closet. Did he say somethin’ to you?” You looked into her eyes for any semblance of your secret and found nothing. You wished you could tell her, your shame, your pleasure, the absolute heaven you felt being in that closet with Hobie. You’d just embarrass yourself.

“No, that's ridiculous. I find him just as endlessly irritating as I always have.” You reach up, tug at your hair softly, and shift your gaze. You were telling on yourself. Fuck, if you didn't agree now, she’d definitely know that there was something up with you and Hobie. “I’ll go, it’s whatever. Just let me get ready.” Your voice was quick, snappy, you were definitely acting suspicious. But you hoped you conceding to going would distract her enough to forget.

It did. Your friends weren't the most aware bunch.

That's how you ended up here, standing in the midst of a true punk party. There was a mosh pit in the front, people inches away from getting punched in the face, starting an all-out brawl. Most were drunk or high off shitty beer and even shittier drugs.

Hobie was on stage performing. You heard his voice before you saw him, the way it echoed in your ears and left you delirious. Riri dragged you into the crowd, just far away from the mosh pit to not get trampled over, and you saw him. His dark skin glistening in a thin layer of sweat, fingers meticulously strumming at his guitar, lips pressed against the mesh of the microphone as if he were attempting to kiss it like he kissed you.

He wore a plaid skirt, his muscle shirt was just cropped enough to reveal the scant of his abdomen and the hair on his slender naval. You saw him and all you could think about was how you wanted to touch him. You wanted his black-painted lips on your neck, wanted to bury your fingers in the new growth of his hair, wanted your cock in his mouth once again and maybe to put his in yours. 

The thoughts terrified you but what frightened you even more was that when you came to, Hobie was looking at you. Smug, careless, beautiful, like he knew just what you were thinking about and he was thinking the very same thing.

Face hot and embarrassed over being caught, you averted your gaze. You turned on your heels and swiftly left Riri to make your way to the bar. You needed a drink, or five, so that maybe your nausea could be attributed to something worthwhile. But no matter how far from the stage you found yourself, Hobie’s voice was still in your ear, teasing your senses, tempting your body. You felt hot and parched. 

“Give me the strongest you have.” You asked the bartender and pressed your face into your hands.

Hobie played three of his songs before his time was over, the entire time you watched from the corner of your eye. Watched the way he swayed, jumped, wrecked the stage, a force to be reckoned with. You watched him and his bandmates, your friends, walk backstage and felt relief. You wouldn’t have to hear his voice everywhere you went. You hadn’t considered that meant that they would all gravitate over to you to have a chat over where you’ve been for nearly a month now.

They came over with Riri, the unknowing traitor, Hobie standing taller than everyone else in the back. They hugged you one by one, slapped your back, kissed your cheeks, told you they were happy you finally agreed to hang. You would have loved to see them if Hobie hadn’t tossed his arm over your shoulder and pulled you into him. 

He smelled like musk and faint, fragrant cologne, your nose pressed to the side of his chest. You look up from where you sat on your barstool only to find him already smiling broadly down at you. “Well, well, look who decided to grace us with they presence. Miss me, sunshine?” He was so smug, so proud. If only you could kiss that look from his stupid face and leave him breathless for once instead of the other way around.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him, shrugging his arm from your shoulders. “Don’t get so full of yourself.” You downed the rest of your drink and requested another one. Hobie came, sat on the stool beside you, and told the barkeep to add all your drinks to his tab.

“Ya been avoidin’ me, sunshine?” Hobie only really seemed interested in talking to you. The others chatted aimlessly amongst themselves. They didn’t seem to notice the way Hobie’s eyes glazed over you, the way his smile seemed a little different when it was directed at you. They also didn’t notice the way he placed his hand on your thigh, rubbing soft circles into your flesh, the way his digits fingered the rips at your jeans.

“Whyever would I be avoiding you, Hobie?” You grabbed his hand to stop his gentle assault on your thigh and he took the opportunity to lace his fingers in with yours.

“I don’ know. Why are you avoidin’ me?” His hand was hot and rough with callouses. If only he’d touch you a little more. Slide his hand up your arm, brush over your neck. You could feel your body growing warmer by the moment. You couldn’t be trusted with him, couldn’t trust yourself for that matter.

You tore your hand from his. “You know exactly why. I hate it when people play dumb.”

“Jus’ add i’ to the long list of all the reasons ya hate me.”

Oh, if only it were so easy to hate. You’d hate him till the day he died. You’d hate him beyond the grave. You’d hate him until the world combusted into flames and everyone burned with it. But it wasn’t so easy. It was actually quite hard to hate someone you longed so carnally for. If you could rid yourself of him for good, you would in a heartbeat.

Hobie ordered himself a nice large glass of beer and leaned in. “Was i’ so bad, what we did? Ya seemed to enjoy i’ in the moment.”

Your eyes grew wide, glancing about to ensure your friends hadn’t heard him.

Hobie scoffed. “Please, too loud in here. They all wrapped up in ‘emselves to pay attention t’us. Look here, sunshine.” He reached out and gently grasped your chin to make you look at him. His touch was like fire all throughout your body. Looking him in the eyes lit something in the pit of your stomach. "Ya look good t'nigh'."

His drink came and he took a sip of the froth at the top while looking at you, his gaze all affectionate and tender. The way one lover would look at another. He didn’t even have to touch you to get you riled up because you both knew him looking at you through his lashes like that was just the way he looked at you when he kissed the tip of your cock.

You needed air. It was suddenly so stuffy where you were, you felt like you were suffocating. The ache of your cock made your jeans tighten. You felt nauseous.

You must have looked crazy standing so abruptly. Your friends attempted to call your name as you pushed your way through them and searched wildly for the nearest exit. The best you could find was a bathroom sign. That would have to work.

The bathroom was grimy and covered in graffiti. Your boots suck to the floor when you walked and you’re sure you could see a leftover powdery substance on the side of the sink. You turned on the water and cupped your hands beneath it to gather some and splash it on your face. 

Nothing between you and Hobie had to change. If he would simply stop provoking you, you could ignore everything else. The way your eyes lingered on his exposed body, the way his lingered on yours, the memory of your hand wrapped around his cock, stroking till he came on your tummy, the way you came in his mouth and he drank it all up.

You pressed your hand against the bulge in your jeans and moaned softly at the pressure. Then there was a knock at the door, startling you out of your momentary pleasure and reminding you that you were indeed in a public restroom.

“Oi, sunshine! Ya alrigh”?” Hobie. He just simply couldn’t let you have a moment of reprieve. Readjusting yourself in your pants so it's not so noticeable, you opened the door only to be met with Hobie leaning against the frame. He looked at you, questioning, before inviting himself right in. “Le’s talk.”

“Talk? You wanna talk?” You slammed the door shut and locked the door behind the two of you out of instinct. “We have nothing to talk about, Hobie. Absolutely nothing.” Your demeanor was cold, your lip curled. It all belied how much you needed him to stop looking at you that way. With heavy eyes and a touch of a smirk on his lips.

Hobie quirked a pierced brow at you. “Who’s playin’ dumb now? Ya tink I ‘aven’t noticed how you’ve been actin’? Yer meaner than usual.” He approached you. Slowly. He looked at you, watched to stand your ground. “God, yer down bad, aren’cha?”

Your face was hot, cock hard in your pants. You said not a word. Let him get close, really close, leaning into you while staring into your eyes.

“It's okay, though. I like ya mean.”

You grabbed him by the shirt, hands tight in the fabric as you turned him around and pushed him against the wall. “You think this is fucking funny, huh?” You shook him a little, pressed his thin body to the door, your eyes aflame with passion and anger. Hobie just looked at you, smiling, with his hands up as if to surrender to you, his eyes heavy with seduction.

You hated that look, so cocky and proud, fucking gorgeous. 

You were rough when you kissed him. You knew you couldn't be trusted with yourself or with him. You knew it would all lead to this. And God if it didn't feel good. His lips were so soft, sweet, a little salty from his sweat. You held his shirt a little tighter, pulled him a little closer and his hands settled on your hips.

You let him slide his tongue into your mouth, let him slide his hands up and down the length of your body, slide beneath your shirt. His thumbs looked into your pants and tucked his knee between your legs to press against the growing bulge in your pants.

Just like that, he took control of you. You melted into him, licked into his mouth as you moaned, rutting yourself against his knee. You were desperate, panting, needy. You showed all your cards just as they were dealt and now you had nothing but an empty hand and a hard cock.

“I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout'cha.” Hobie panted into your mouth, hands pawing at you. Your kiss was sloppy, filled with swapped saliva and sticky tongue. “Missed ya. Looks like ya missed me too.” He chuckled softly as you licked his bottom lip, sighing with pleasure when he pressed his knee harder into you.

You should stop this. You should be stopping yourself. But you simply couldn't control yourself and you didn't know if that said more about you or about him. You were insatiable. You were angry. You were horny out of your mind. 

Hobie let you suck on his lip and tongue, chuckling the whole time. It made you stop, your hands tightening up in his shirt. “Is something funny?” You pushed him against the wall harder, your body pressed against his, your aching cock against his knee. You tried to play tough, your face firming up, but Hobie already witnessed how desperately you've been wanting him this entire time.

Hobie sighed softly, looking at you, smiling broadly. “Nah, nah, ‘m laughin’ ‘cause ya definitely like me, sunshine. Just as much as I like you.” He leaned in, pressed his lips to yours, and kissed you softly. Lips latching, tongue licking, teeth nipping, you didn't resist him as much as you thought you would. You hadn't imagined for it to feel so good the second time around.

“Lemme help ya out, sunshine.” Hobie pressed his knee harder into your crotch and you crumbled, panting into his mouth with your eyes squeezed shut. One of your hands unballed itself from his shirt and found itself settled against the apple of his throat, pressing and squeezing while you humped his leg into oblivion.

The friction was delicious. The pressing and grinding with his tongue down your throat left you a little delirious. You were lightheaded and feared you might faint if he kept holding your waist like he was, moving your hips for you, pressing you harder.

“Keep goin’, pretty boy. Ya got i'.” Hobie crooned into your mouth as your lips fiended for another kiss, a lick, something, anything to satiate the burning in your chest, the fire all over. His fingers sunk into the meat of your thighs with his soft grip that meant to gently coax you towards your climax.

How embarrassing. To cum in your jeans just from humping a leg. But God, if this didn't feel good, if Hobie wasn't doing you so right. You pushed him harder against the wall, squeezed his throat a little tighter as you ground yourself into him.

Your free hand slid down his front and beneath his skirt to feel the bulge of his erection through his underwear. You weighed him in the palm of your hand, clumsy massaging and fondling. You didn't know how to handle him. Attempting to conjure up the way you touched him the last time you two felt each other, you rubbed him, felt the wet patch where precum leaked and soaked into the fabric of his underwear and stroked his tip.

Hobie shuddered, one that rattled through his entire body. He gripped you harder, bruising your hips and thighs and he drove you further into his knee and left you shivering. You squeezed him in your palm and he moaned.

It was pathetic how easy it was to forget how much you wanted to hate him. Your brain was foggy with pleasure and need. Your hands groped at each other with a fiendish desire. Hobie nipped at your bottom lip. “Fuck, jus’ like tha’.”

You were so close. Your lips broke apart from his with a string of saliva connecting the two of you. Your head felt back, exposing the supple flesh of your throat which Hobie greedily attacked with lips and teeth and tongue. “Gonna cum f’me? Hmm, sunshine? Go ‘head ‘n make a mess f’me.”

You whined, your body rocking back and forth with the waves of your orgasm. You hadn't cum in your pants since you were a teen and never before because of another man. You felt as though you should be humiliated but you were so wrapped up in Hobie's sweet scent and the way he moaned into your neck as you pressed your hand into him and felt his cock twitch in your hold.

You rubbed him harder, faster, determined to get him to come undone the way he had your world falling apart. Hobie chuckled against your throat. “Tryna get me t’cum, pretty boy?” His lips peppered kisses to your lovely throat. You nodded, your hand stroking his throat with your thumb. “Give it to me, please.” Oh how the mighty fall.

Hobie faltered a bit when you squeezed his balls in your hand, whining into you like a puppy. “Beg.” He sighed softly against your neck. “Beg fo i'.”

"Please, please. Shit, Hobie, give it to me " Overstimulated, his knee still pressed into the wet spot in your sticky jeans, your hips still rutting into the mess you’ve made of yourself, you jerked him off through his underwear, stroking it rapid, blundering twists of your wrist. Hobie liked how inexperienced you seemed, he found it amusing how hard you tried to please him.

You knew he was just on the edge of an orgasm by the way his moan lowered an octave. He sang for you like he sang on stage, your own private show. His hands gripped you with an impossible strength, tongue lavishing over your throat. He nosed at the curve of your jaw and moaned into your ear as he came in your hand, leaking out into the cotton of his underwear.

You were left panting, stroking at each other in tender touches. You were uncharacteristically affectionate, desperate for it. You needed his hands, his lips, his soft chuckles, his pretty smile. God, you were losing it.

“Fuck-” You pulled away from Hobie, your entire body coiling away from him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” It all came back to you like a tsunami. How did you let this happen? Again no less. What in the world were you thinking? What the hell has he done to you?

“Sunshine, calm down. It's okay.” Hobie reached out for you but you almost fell over trying to get away from him. Your hands gripped the sink for stability and in hopes to ground yourself in reality. “No, no, it’s not okay, Hobie! We need to stop this.”

“Whatever we have goin’ on between us-”

“There's nothing going on between us,” you insisted. “There should be nothing going on between us.” Hobie scoffed at you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Would’ja get ova y’self? We didn' make each other cum by accident. This keeps happenin’ fo’ a reason. We like each other.” He motioned between the two of you, his eyes softening.

“I can't do this, Hobie. I can't give you what you want.” You rushed past him and escaped out of the bathroom door before Hobie had a chance to catch you. It was a mistake to come out. You should have left the moment Hobie touched you. 

It was just your luck to run into Riri on the way out the door. You bumped into her just as you neared the exit. She had whipped around, ready to let you have it until she saw that it was you and worse, when she saw the tears streaming down your face. As if this night couldn't get even more embarrassing.

You said nothing to her. You simply pushed past her and left the bar with her calling after you. Hobie approached behind her, watching you leave with sulken shoulders and smudged makeup.

“Shit.”

[intervex]

Some new, bright variants of the Disability Pride flag (with historic colours)

The diagonal stripe Disability Pride flag design by @capricorn-0mnikorn et al is flexible about the specific colours used for the red, yellow, white, blue, and green stripes - there are a variety of versions ranging from full saturation to reduced saturation.

For fun -- and to lean into my proposal for the stripe colours to be about different models & causes of disability -- I thought I'd make variant versions where the stripe colours come from historic flags and symbols made by disability organizers!

These are intended as supplementary variants of the main versions for circumstances where we want to talk about disability history. (I think the standard, desaturated version is the best general-purpose disability pride flag!)

The versions on the left have a silver grey (#cfd1d0) background from the Eros Recio disability flag. The versions on the right have the original black. The black/grey is to mourn disabled people who have died due to eugenics, violence, neglect, and illness.

Red: disability caused by violence and/or neglect (itself a form of violence). Also models of disability like debility and disabled black feminist theorizing which focus on how disability is used as a tool of violence to enact societal oppression.

The red (#f71d20) comes from the red AIDS ribbons (1991) used to protest the societal neglect of the AIDS pandemic. HIV/AIDS was ignored by governments for years because they either didn't care - or thought it was a good thing - that massive numbers of gay, black & hemophiliac people were dying.

Similar reds are now used by the Millions Missing (2016) campaigns to advocate for research and treatment for ME/CFS, another disease which disproportionately affects disadvantaged groups (mostly women) that has been widely neglected and dismissed.

Yellow: disability caused by natural differences. Models like the affirmative model and evolutionary models which view disability as providing positive benefits to individuals and/or society.

The specific golden yellow (#FDD70A): comes from the intersex flag (2013). Intersex is an umbrella term for natural bodily variations that don't neatly conform to ideas of "male" or "female". As a result we are medicalized when there is nothing actually wrong with us. (We intersex folks also belong to the queer community because of how we threaten binary ideas about sex/gender.)

Gold also appears on the Eros Recio disability flag (2017). More recently (2018), gold has become associated with autism, another natural difference.

White: disability caused by unknown or other factors. Models like the human rights model, which focus on how disabled people - regardless of how or why they are disabled - are deserving of basic human/civil rights and liberties.

The specific white (#FFFFFF) is from the neurodiversity flag. I have been unable to track down the first one from 2005 but a large variety of rainbow infinities on white backgrounds have been used ever since for neurodiversity.

Neurodiversity is a large umbrella category, and can be caused by many factors.

Blue: situational disabilities. Models like the social model and the radical model which posit there is nothing wrong with us. The problem is how society excludes us.

The specific blue (#009ee0) comes from the Deaf flag (2011). Many Deaf people feel there is nothing wrong with being Deaf, the problem is that the rest of society does not use signed languages, provide captions & transcripts, etc.

Green: disability due to natural illness. By "natural" I mean not socially imposed like how how treatable diseases are allowed to persist due to sociopolitical oppression/neglect. This is associated with medical models of disability.

Honestly I struggled for a historical flag for green - seems green is not a colour that disabled organizers seem to have been using until very recently(?). There are a bunch of green awareness ribbons from the 00s such as for kidney cancer, mitochondrial disease, hepatits B, and lyme disease. But I could not find evidence that any of them were made by the people with the relevant disabilities.

If anybody knows of any disability-led designs that prominently feature green that were used before ~2016 please let me know!

Green has been used as a colour for mental illness since at least 2013, and judging from my google image search results for "green ribbon awareness" this has been the most popular green ribbon awareness campaign.

But everything I can find gives me the impression this green ribbon campaign was created by sane people, though some celebrities who have been open about having mental health problems have backed the campaign.

The green sunflower lanyards used to indicate hidden disabilities started in 2016 in the UK, from which I got this green (#1f9a4b).

Purple: disability as a community. Models like the social construction model which focus on how the category of disability is socially constructed and maintained.

The purple (#82609b) is from the mad pride flag (2013). Mad pride has its origin in the psychiatric survivor movement, which has been critical of how psychiatry defines and punishes madness.

Madness in particularly has a long history of being socially constructed. For example, in how sociopolitical oppression can be twisted into individual pathology: black slaves who fled slavery were diagnosed with "drapetomania" rather than for society to understand slavery as oppression. More recently, terms like "climate anxiety" and "climate grief" have been used to individualize the climate crisis.

Including purple in the place of green in the flag is as a means to include mad pride & mutual aid communities when talking disability history. The five colours of the standard disability pride flag are to symbolize all of humanity, being the most common colours used in national flags.

Swapping out the green for purple for talking about disability history kind of represents how we disabled people have been on our own, not really represented by nation-states.

[nozomijoestar]

LIFTING THE SPOILER WARNING ON THIS POST FOR LAUNCH DAY

Here's my initial analysis and thoughts on Asuka's ending (character episode) in Tekken 8

caught yearning in 1080p

handsome

thinking abt getting students now that the Zaibatsu ate shit (btw you don't find out the Zaibatsu is pretty much on track to being done with no leader again, which is why they continue the tournament presumably after the final battle unless you look through the character episodes, not the main story, for some fucking reason)

Asuka finally smiled at her accepting her and the feeling is mutual, this ending had great role reversal in the sense instead of previously only getting clear insight into Lili's feelings and thoughts now we're openly getting them from Asuka in response- she also felt tempted to give in to her old reaction first think later ways but here she's finally thinking before deciding it doesn't matter why, she enjoys fighting Lili and she finally seems to recognize what Lili's schemes are about on a level (wanting Asuka's attention and getting back at her for having lost), this is the closest so far we've ever gotten to a "I like you too"

this is on top of the teasing and compliment she gave Lili's ability in the same scene, and also correcting Lili on the Kazama Motto Asuka learned, which only Asuka could have told her at some point suggesting further closeness

"Softness overcomes hardness" you two are (HOPEFULLY) starting to change your relationship to be softer (also the hilarious hypocrisy of Asuka BARELY being a person living by any softness in practice)

I love that she even refers to Lili as "That noble (rich) girl", an ojou-sama, which is far better than calling her by nothing or using a rude form of You (anta) as in the past (and generally she's given up calling Lili by rude terms be it in the story mode or otherwise including Shaheen's ending, which is honestly more about AsuLili than him lol, it's also incredible seeing Asuka glad Lili's life was protected and joking about Lili being a handful with someone else)

And despite provoking Asuka in a very shitty way reminiscent of Feng, the premise of this ending is Asuka beating Lili at the tournament so Lili will honor her word of putting Asuka's dojo back the way it was before she bought it- which Lili does after losing rather than refuse out of spite, even if she then uses taking it in a fight to provoke Asuka again, it's nice that she IS willing to listen to Asuka when it comes to promises

honestly if you cut the entire scene into only my screenshots here it still looks so fucking gay

Video source ( @ 1:03 )

This is the de-facto best Asuka ending yet, at last she's happy, hopeful, not confused, and at some form of peace and connection in her life

ALSO ASUKA DIDN'T CALL LILI A DINGBAT SHE CALLED HER AHOU (Idiot/Moron) LIKE ALWAYS AND IT WAS SOFT THIS TIME 😭😭😭😭

Plus Asuka might finally get the dojo back up and become the next leader with Jin's image being fixed and thus how people would see Asuka since they're related, as well as the current war being over- though Reina's new devil bullshit will probably ruin this in the future

EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION

PAIR OF BIRDS; BIRD MOTIF FOR KAZAMAS RETURNS

I doubt these are Jun's birds specifically it's more likely just symbolic of Asuka and Lili if it means anything at all. Also doesn't have to specify meaning lovebirds, in general their characters will always be put together. But it is funny how Jun's birds always appear to show her connection to someone she loves, so there could be a parallel here that Asuka's bird imagery would represent the same sense of connection. If it is a visual metaphor for lovebirds though by the time we get Tekken 9 then, the cinema of it all.

ALSO Harada has said Jun attracts animals because of her spiritual mastery over martial arts. She's at a level of power where animals don't run because of sensing her aura; she can suppress her fighting spirit. With how at peace AND in control of herself Asuka is in this ending, maybe the birds imply she can move in a similar direction from here on. And it makes sense too because Asuka has returned to a state of equilibrium now that she doesn't have the stress of the world being in chaos affecting her. As a person who prefers being in control, she's back to feeling some control over her life.

----

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE:

1. It's great that the tone of their relationship is now friendlier, but like in story mode and other places they appear as a pair, we're never shown anything on how they started transitioning from fighting all the time to agreeing to listen and partner up in general, nevermind during a global war they're supposed to have their own personal stakes in beyond not wanting to die (those personal stakes ended up being entirely irrelevant anyway which is it's own problem)

There's a problem present where you're shown the end result of an emotional shift with none of the journey or even a simple scene explaining how they got there, much like the main story and other characters in general many plot points and character changes are resolved off screen showing only the results with no explanation the majority of the time. In the main story this gets even more egregious because even how a character knows specific information usually doesn't get explained at all either unless it relates to Jin understanding the devil gene. This writing makes a lot of things simply happen like it's checking off a list.

In essence, WHERE is a scene connecting Asuka who did nothing but fight Lili and get pissed with her to the Asuka who's tolerant of her, is more catty and accepting than outright angry, is now willing to joke and play around with her, who taught Lili the Kazama Motto she learned (though I guess this one you can say Lili found it while looking up Asuka's family, something we ALSO don't get Asuka's thoughts on beyond surprise) and so on

2. The fact this scene ends with provoking another fight, as much as I like that it's friendly now, isn't the best direction. This fits again into problem 1; there's no on screen room to let these characters breathe and illustrate what made them change now to the viewer. There's no fresh angle given about their relationship outside fighting or even a new approach on their relationship within it. There's no pause in the formula which many people are tired of (and people are already back to calling Asuka a useless piece of shit who's a complete fucking joke, and I can't really blame them entirely because on a surface level all they see is the exact same situation as it's been for twenty years of cutscenes).

Also the logic of having this scene exist is confusing in itself. Nothing in the game story clarified if Asuka sat the tournament out or did participate but was eliminated and decided to follow Lili's progress in Rome as a spectator. A scene explaining either of those would give better weight and context to this one.

3. Zero mention of Asuka's father or his current condition

4. Having Lili imitate what Feng Wei did to dojos like Asuka's is the cruelest way she's ever provoked her. Whereas before it was often ridiculous, silly, and teasing, involving an event that led Asuka to spiral adds something uncharacteristically spiteful toward her from Lili's end. Insofar as what Lili has previously used to get her attention anyway. Keeping Asuka's trauma out of it has always seemed to be a line Lili was willing to respect. And it's off too because this is happening when they're supposed to be becoming friends/are friends now. It's too personal to be brushed off the way it is.

The only way I can rationalize it is if Asuka has let go of her anger towards what Feng did in part (but she still has a special intro where she wants to attack him on sight saying they finally meet so, I don't fuckin know, that may as well have been included as an easter egg if they're gonna do nothing with it) or she never really gave enough of a shit about the entire thing in the first place. You can make a loose argument using prior games to show Asuka never really cared about the revenge aspect as much- but her behavior sorta contradicts this at the same time. So really who fucking knows. Based on how she reacts here I guess it's not a big deal at this point cuz she doesn't get mad and jumps into messing around with Lili like a friend anyway.

Maybe this could be explained too by whatever made them act friendly now in the first place, but again we never saw that. So instead it comes out worse than if we knew.

5. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MENTION THE ENTIRE MAIN KAZAMA FAMILY WAS ELIMINATED BY OGRE IN THE STORY MODE THEN HAVE THE NEWS NOT IMPACT ASUKA AT ALL

We also never see them discuss what Lili knows about the family in any depth between themselves

Viva le sex gay I guess but now I have more questions than answers and that's a problem when the game acts like I've been given answers it never provided. I got something I wanted but with nothing to show for it.

EDIT 1/27/2024 : However that won't discount that I do love what I received and the potential it represents; I adore this shit.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

So I didn't want to involve the people on this post in my shenanigans. Mostly because I don't want to see a dogpile, or because I don't want to deal with the ignorance that will come from the responses.

So this showed up on my dash

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And honestly I don't think they understand what's really going on. There are a lot of people living in a bubble and it kind of annoys me a bit.

People are not pissed that LGBT people exist. Contrary to popular belief. Nor are they mad that LGBT products exist. What they are mad about is that June has become, "Worship the LGBT or else" month. And while many don't think that's true, it very much is.

I've seen pride parade over the last 6+ years with HEAVY kink involvement IN PUBLIC in full view of kids. Also in full view of people who really don't want to see it. People who can't close their businesses. People who have appointments to keep at offices. Dick shaped lollipops. Near full nudity. What used to be SUPPOSEDLY a celebration of love is now a degenerate (and that's coming from me) fetish fest. More over, if you don't brandish your cult symbol, people get mad at you. And now a days threaten to destroy your livelihood.

(And before you continue reading. THIS MAY well ruffle some feathers. And while you may not agree with my sentiment, this post is not hateful. It's observations and ideas based on people I've talked to both in and out of the LGBT, things I've experienced in my own life, and stuff I've read up on over the years. And while I'm not as articulate as a used to be, it's written not in anger, but with the intention of explaining all of my thoughts. And while they may not get across the way I want, I mean no hate by them.)

Pride hasn't been about love in years. It's been about how degenerate and fetishy can we get in public until they start putting us in jail. Except we can't even do that anymore because protected classes get an absolute pass to break the laws now. And you might not see that but everyone else does.

What's more, what LGBT means now isn't what it used to mean. It's some weird amalgamation taking every sex based thing and non sex based thing and shoving it all under the same umbrella. Hell, most modern trans activists want to get rid of gay people. And no that's not some joke or conspiracy.

Consider this. A lot of modern "LGBT" people claim that gender is a social construct right? Ok and now they are trying to say there is no difference between men and women. In the biological sense. Now you have, "Lady dicks and man pussys" and what not. Except it's not a joke. And I'm not joking. I've been seeing a hard push from trans activists in the modern day, to claim that biological sex does not matter (to the point they want to be able to change their birth certificates), and that if you are a Female dating a male, so long as they SAY they are a woman you are still somehow a lesbian.

THEN you have the now famous Tim Pool clip where the guy from The Serfs claims that if a woman sleeps with an effeminate man, she's actually a lesbian. Or vice versa, if a man dates a non feminine woman, he's actually gay. I don't think most of you realize right now but modern activists are hell bent on erasing gay people. Gay in it's ACTUAL meaning. Which is sexual attraction to the same SEX. Not the same gender. Which both were interchangeable for years. Now it's a clusterfuck of what ever either side wants it to mean. And that's devastating for society. It's devastating for communication between people. And it's devastating for relationships.

Things are breaking down at the seams. People who have been gay their entire lives now have to contend with being called bigots by self righteous, narcissistic, young, dumb people trying to tell them THEY are the bigots. When arguably they had it much harder in society. Hell the middle east STILL gives you 2 options if you are gay. Transition so you are not a monster, or die. Because at least if you appear like the opposite sex you can't participate in your debauchery. That's how they view it. And activists in the west are doing the exact same in their own way. It's pretty fucking scary.

But to the original point. It's not just about Trans this, Gay that, Lesbian this, or anything. People are just tired of the celebrations. Because it's moved way past that into glorification. To a point that among the people that support it, they are deifying it. That's not exaggeration. You are now considered boring if you are straight. You are considered an evil racist monster if you are "cis". And don't get me started on the rant that is talking about that term. Kids are now being indoctrinated into being something other than straight and their own sex/gender. Because according to this hell site and others like it, "Straight people are so boring and stupid and violent and and and and and~" Fuck you.

You don't get to shit on straight people with impunity and then get upset when they say enough. You don't get to tell people that "every day is straight pride day" meanwhile smearing your privates in their faces for a full month. No criticism. No conversation. Just mindless worship. And don't tell me that's not what it is. That is fully what it is.

And before anyone decides to come at me telling me I'm transphobic or homophobic, Plenty of LGBT people agree with me. Some even have more extreme views on all of this than I do. Mine seems to be the very mild view on all of this considering.

But we don't need a pride month anymore in the US. The initial movement was about not just getting the right to marry, but being able to be seen as human just like everyone else.

Well guess what? It has not been like that since 2012. Now it's about, "Call me my pronouns or I'll cut your head off" and "If you don't celebrate pride then your a bigot, a monster, and a nazi", or, "I can't believe this old woman called me young lady, WTF, I'm clearly a man" or my personal favorite, "Kink needs to be in front of kids so they can grow up and understand good sex". Yeah. I've actually heard every one of these IN PERSON and wanted to call the cops on the last one. And fringe or not, these ARE the views being pushed to the forefront.

And more than that even. A school quite literally said, "Memorial day weekend? What's that? Pride month though. Let's dress all these kids in pride stuff and parade them around to prove how virtuous we are."

Yes this DID actually happen. A school opted to not recognize or celebrate our fallen, and instead opted into worship. Modern pride is a cult. I'm not sorry for saying it. Most of you pushed to see how far until it was too far. And now you WILL see people walk back acceptance of the LGBT as a whole. You waved your crotches in their faces for long enough and they've had it.

And that makes me pretty upset honestly. Because my LGBT friends may likely have to suffer through widespread discrimination again because you didn't understand how far is too far. And then when you were told how far too far was, you opted to take it further than that.

Now let me cool the pot as it were. I'm not putting this on the LGBT people who've been nothing but good people, who just have been trying to live and enjoy their lives. And I don't want to see an overreaction to all of this. But the issue is not enough people smacked these activist types down. Their fringe views were allowed to flourish and be the dominate idea. And now we have people boycotting LGBT stuff aimed at kids, and parents are pissed. Kids are already confused enough growing up. Hormones, School, Friends, Parents, figuring out life, etc. It's a confusing time in their lives and they frankly don't need more stuff to be confused about. More over, they don't need to be focused on sexuality (which again is a concept based on SEX based attraction) at 10 y/o. Will they figure that stuff out? Yes. Do they need a LGBT teacher teaching them how to be gay? No.

Do they need books teaching them how to get on gay dating apps at 14 for anonymous hookups with gay men? ALSO no. Do they need to learn how to use butt-plugs at 13-14? FUCK no. Do they need to be taught in gay books how to give head to other boys? NO! THEY DON'T! Do they need drag queens, wearing thongs and a miniskirt twerking in their faces at 6? *cocks shotty*. And before I get the onslaught of, "That's not happening", yes it is. There's proof of it all over the US. Happening in more and more frequency. Including librarians suggesting books featuring explicit content to very young teens.

The final straw was kids. And when you told parents they were not allowed to defend their kids, parents said, "Excuse the fuck out of me". And now here we are. In a country were if you are LGBT and you rape someone, it's perfectly fine. And calling it out is actually bad. If you call out biological men, claiming to be trans so they they can rape women in prison an issue, THAT'S somehow calling all trans people rapist? If you point out that a gay man or a trans woman is grooming kids and or has sexually assaulted them, that SOMEHOW all gay men and trans women are predators?

No one said that. YOU said that. And your fighting tooth and nail to defend people who do those things, is a problem. And it's why people are fed up.

This is not and has never been about anti-LGBT sentiment. But it will become that if people who've done this stuff continue to be shielded. It will become that if normies get even more fed up with the cult like worship once a year of Pride. I don't want to see it become that. It will however, if things don't come down from a boil. Leave kids alone, call out groomers and predators, and stop featuring kink and fetish at pride parades. Put on a rainbow shirt hold hands with your S/O Hold up a sign saying "Love" and that's it. It's super simple. And for the love of all that is holy, stop shaming straight people. Because if you don't they WILL come to resent you. More than some already do.

And just to wrap things up. I don't want to see things get worse for LGBT people. What I do want to see is certain LGBT people stop acting like being LGBT is their entire personality. Because it's not just grating to me. It's grating to other LGBT people. And worst of all it's grating to normies. And they are the people you need to be worried about.

[verycharismaticdragon]

Okay I'm not platforming ridiculous SJ stans' delusions on my blog, but the spirit of Peerless Cucumber possessed me, so I'm piling up my responses here:

---

Shen Jiu's red string was definitely with Yue Qingyuan, which is made clear in the last lines of their extra:

Threads of blood unfurled, extending outward. Right before they should have converged into one, they passed each other by.

...though I guess maybe it's not very obvious from this translation. So as a normal and sane person I'm pulling out og Chinese:

血线蔓延，就在即将汇聚成一结时，错了开来。 断了。

and offering my own TL, which is more clunky to preserve the sentence structure:

Threads of blood spread out; then, within an inch of converging together to become one knot, staggered apart. They stopped.

The symbolism in this line goes like this:

First of all, flowing blood is described as 线, threads, which is exactly the same 线 as in 红线, red string.

结, knot, is interesting because as a verb, it can mean "to form a relationship", and as a noun, it can mean both physical knot (like the two threads can form tied together) and emotional knot.

I translated 开 as "apart", but it can also mean "to unfasten", "to come loose".

And lastly, 断. It can mean "to stop", but it can also mean "to break off", "to snap", "to be severed". Important to note that in Madam Meiyin's quote @zykamiliah brought up in their response to the og post, "This thread has been cut…", the same word, 断, is used: "这红线断得……"

So their "threads" could tie together into the "knot", but it "came loose", "snapped" in the end. This is the situation in PIDW, after Yue Qingyuan's death; in SVSSS, the thread is snapped, of course, with Shen Jiu's death instead. But the use of the same word clearly indicates it was meant to be the same thread.

---

Also I've looked through the comments and saw another just plain incorrect take, which I already ran into a while ago but didn't argue against, figuring someone else would. I guess nobody did - so let's put it to rest now, at least.

The idea is that since Airplane said that the plot of SVSSS was "distorted [..] right back to the outline [he] discarded" and that after the ending "everything that [he] wanted to write has already played out before [him]" (both quotes from ch.21 of eng.edition), that means that OG PIDW was meant to have bingjiu endgame.

But this is, in fact, plainly disproved in Airplane extras (ch.26 part 4 in eng.edition, emphasis mine):

【 Basic completion of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s original outline achieved (slight deviation in romance plotline); objective complete. Retrieving function to return to original world; download complete. Activate Return Home sequence? 】 Basic completion of the original outline? That he agreed with. All the holes that needed to be filled had been filled. But this “slight deviation of romance plot” wasn’t quite right. Bing-ge was now fully gay; how could you say that was a “slight deviation”? Ah, fine, fine, in fact, in his original outline, Bing-ge hadn’t even had a romance plotline; he had been doomed to fade away, alone and unaging forever. If you insisted on adding a romance plotline, all right, that was whatever, so putting aside all the System’s rambling…this meant he could return to his original world?!

So: Bing-ge originally wasn't meant to have an endgame ship at all. The return to the og outline, then, refers to plot events such as return of Tianlang-jun, revealing the truth about Su Xiyan's fate, and the merging of realms being avoided ("As Shang Qinghua had planned in his outline, Mai Gu Ridge exploded into a mass of flying sand and countless pieces of rubble, with roiling smoke and clouds of billowing dust." - also ch.26 part 4). BingQiu relationship were a deviation, but one Airplane didn't care about much, especially given everything that went right (according to his creative vision) as a result.

---

Also, while I find the mere notion that Binghe could have a red thread with Shen Jiu ridiculous and undeserving of an argument, I did type out a response to vent, so here it is, under cut.

PIDW Luo Binghe did not have a red thread with Shen Jiu, because if he did, Madam Meiyin would've divined that for him - same as she told him about his wives and their preferences with full accuracy in PIDW, and same as she gave SY!SQQ an accurate description of Binghe despite himself not being aware of his feelings in SVSSS.

And when it comes to SVSSS!Luo Binghe, Shen Jiu in this 'verse didn't do anything to change his fate with Binghe. They were heading down the same course. Shen Yuan was the one who changed the narrative, the genre, and Luo Binghe's life; so of course it's him with whom that red thread formed.

And, yes, to return to QiJiu's thread metaphor, it actually describes the red thread not as something permanent, but as something that can be tied together or snap - depending on circumstances. If Luo Binghe had a red thread with Shen Jiu and not Shen Yuan, wouldn't it have frayed and broke off once Shen Jiu was dead, same as the other red string Madam Meiyin saw?

Also, I want to point out that when Madam Meiyin describes "Shen Qingqiu's" fated person, there are descriptors such as "You have both saved each other’s lives" and "Perhaps they may endure short periods of separation, but they quickly reunite". Not only had Shen Jiu never saved Luo Binghe's life - and in fact several times deliberately put his life in danger - but he was also dead for well over a hundred years by the end of PIDW. On the other hand, Shen Yuan has taken multiple blows for Binghe, and their longest separation was five years - after which SY immediately gravitated right back into Luo Binghe's orbit. So which Shen do those lines describe then hmmm i wonder..... /sarcasm

Also, as a last nail, how does Bing-ge's situation fit into the idea that it was SJ? Are you telling me he gleefully tortured his soulmate to death, then ~200 years later met a random guy who just happened to occupy his soulmate's body, and it was the random guy that gave him a bi(?) awakening, made him beg the man to choose him/come with him, and made him cry? Does this make a shred of sense to you, be honest.

[toulouse21]

REASONS WHY I KIN LUZ NOCEDA SO MUCH (and maybe you do too, just didn't realize it)

(from minor things until deep things)

- first of all she is a huge geek nerd that likes cosplay and anime, like the main audience of this show

- spontaneous and easily excited with anything

- her friends probably call her "the sun of the group"

- latina

- she likes otters!

- she loves shipping

- gay panicks to all the genders

- she likes fantasy books with complicated side stories

- she became a writer at the end of the show

- a simp.

- she falls in love with a cute witch with colorfoul hair, honestly who wouldn't?

- Luz uses fiction to scape reality, and that's like SO OBVIOUS that even her must realize it too, but if you notice it, at human realm that is what keep her going without drowning in a possible depression. She had no friends there, she had nothing other than her mother (wich she was very lucky to be an amazing one) and her fantasy books. Yeah she probably knew her obssesion with fiction was too much, but she had no other thing to focus

- I think the owl house was the only piece of media I ever seen that pictured the feeling of "growing up as the weird kid" so perfectly. Generally the main characther is a nerd who has no friends and is bullied, but it never has a reason for them to not have any friends (not a reason like "oh they are so irritanting, that's why they don't have any friends", no, a reason like "they are seen as weird because they are VERY different from the rest of school, wich scare people away, and that's why they don't have any friends. It's not their fault at all". The second case is literally luz' case).

You see, Luz always had so much imagination, and she tried to show it the most she could to other people, I think she did it because she thought "Im gonna be myself, and someone will like me.... Probably". That scene in third season, of Camila remembering things, when little Luz shows the snake's pajamas to the other kids, she clearly did that because it was a subject she was SO interested in, she wanted to share it with the other children, they would find it interesting too and would want to be her friends, right? And then the kids ran away screaming, and she didn't get why

- When Camila wanted to send her to that camp, oh my titan my girl was so sad. When she dropped azura's book on trash, honestly I think that was so.... Meaningful. That book is so important to her, obviously because it was her father's gift, BUT it's even more than that, it's the whole symbol of her personality, the one little thing she loves so much, she stayed on boiling isles only to have a chance to live something slightly similar to what she always dreamed with.

When she throws Azura on the trash in front of Camila she is basically saying "don't worry mom, I will finally stop. I will stop trying to make friends by being what I am, because that clearly didn't and will never work out. I am going to throw all that I am away, so I can be normal like everybody wants". Getting Azura back isn't JUST for the plot, it symbolizes how Luz isn't ready to gave up from herself yet.

- In boiling isles Luz feels like she is in home, we all know that, but if you look closer, you will see it was there she become a people pleaser. In my interpretation, Luz is so happy she finally find a place where she has friends, a second mother figure, a brother figure, and people LIKE her (well most of them, except for bosha and stuff), she is so not used to it, she doesn't know what to do. People liking her so much as she likes them is so perfect she wants to do anything to not change that, that's why she sacrifices herself in a lot of situations in a lot of different ways for the people she loves.

If you dont think she is a people pleaser, let me remind you: when she made Amity loose her job at the library, Luz came back to there, faced all the challenges that creepy boss had for her, just to get Amity's card back. Eda told her explicity to not do any mess with the house while she was out, but Luz invited Gus and Willow to there anyway, only because Willow was too excited about that moon ritual, she prefers face the consequences of desobbeing eda than make her new friends slightly disappointed (probably because she thinks that if she commits any mistake, they will abandon her).

- In my point of view, her obssesion in befriending every enemy that crosses her also relates with the fact she is a people pleaser. I can be projecting (like all the rest of this text lol), but I have a strange wish that everyone on earth likes me, not only the people I like, but also the people I hate, I want everyone to find me at least a little nice or else Im not happy. Wich means I am never truly happy, because that is Impossible to happen

For what Im concerned, people pleasers think like that generally, so Luz probably thinks like that too

- Ok the puppet scene of the third season, I saw a lot of people joking with "Luz realized that wasn't amity because she wasn't autistic enough lollll", yes I know, but that scene is so deep for me oh lord. Her worst fear is to be abandoned by her friends, the people she would die for, when she sees it happening in front of her, she doesn't even think "wait this looks weird, this doesn't look like my friends at all...", no, her head doesn't even suggest that, because in Luz' mind, that scenario it's what she deserves, the "weird" situation is the actual reality, where none of her friends hate her, she doesn't understand why they don't.

Luz realized they were all puppets because Amity mistoke an Azura's quote, not because all that incredible people were being mean to her, because she thinks she doesn't deserve any of them.

- Also in third season, my favourite scene of all time, the one that made me cry, when I heard Luz saying that, I finally realized what I needed this whole time: "The only thing I've ever really wanted.... Was to be understood"

(YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS TOUCHED ME, SERIOUSLY, AHHWHWHWHAIAJAHAHAHQBWH)

This quote is SO SO SO SO SO MEANINGFUL, OH MY TITAN. Not even Luz understood herself, do you guys get that? She didn't know why she just couldn't be normal like all the other kids on school, she didn't understand why she insisted so much on being herself when all that did was to cause her suffering. But when Camila said "my biggest mistake was trying to change you", she finally realized why she never gave up of herself: because there was nothing wrong with her.

She is not a bad person, she is nothing like belos or whoever, she deserves to receive as much as she offers to everyone, she doesn't need to think inside the box, she can continue to be weird forever and there is nothing wrong with that. For us that's all pretty obvious, but for her it's like a dream that came true to finally realize that.

The main reason why this cartoon is my favourite is because of Luz. I feel really connected to her (if that makes sense), that's why Im so obsessed with her. At the finale, she ends up capable of balancing her "boring life" of human realm with boiling isles, that makes me fill up with hope that maybe one day I find happiness at my "boring life" in here, while balancing it with fiction in a healthy way.

Luz is the best main characther of all time and I will never be convinced otherwise.

[yukidragon]

Ian was saying that more complex toppings were more ‘mature’ (as opposed to plain cheese pizza which admittedly is popular with children) plus cashews are expensive/fancy/healthy. Is he trying to project a more sophisticated image or something?

Is poor Sunshine the familiar, reliable but boring childhood comfort food he’s leaving behind to try something (or someone) more adventurous and glamorous?

Does he at one point start to see himself as outgrowing them? (In the opening of the game Sunshine expresses the opposite, implying Ian is the one childhood thing they’re nostalgic for. Ouch.)

He seems to talk about cheese pizza like they always get it, like it’s the safe fallback option… hmmm…

Googling brings up stuff about cashews being offered as a pizza topping in some places in the Northwest, others say it originated from some place in California called Dave’s Gay 90s. Can’t speak to the truth of that and don’t know why a young man living in Texas wants it, but perhaps it reflects his aspirations.

California is apparently home to a number of actors that have made it big and perhaps that’s where his acting school is?

So the cheese pizza is his safe childish past with Sunshine and the Californian cashew pizza topping is symbolic of the acting success he’s hoping his adult future will be?

I don’t know, I’m not American

Your analysis is very insightful. I think you did a great job with it. I really like the idea of the pizza being a metaphor for MC and Ian's relationship.

It would sadly make a lot of sense that part of why Ian cheated was because he outgrew the relationship and MC. It/they didn't satisfy him anymore. He wanted new, exciting, more mature things. MC was safe, nostalgic... a piece of Ian's childhood.

It makes sense too why after Ian cheated, MC recklessly abandons anything nostalgic. They're trying to move on from those feelings that Ian took for granted after the cheating tainted them.

It also makes sense why Ian is so desperate to get MC back, as new things, however exciting, are scarier than something safe and familiar.

Sometimes I've heard stories about couples that were together for years since they were teenagers who clicked just right and seemed perfect for one another... only to end abruptly when one partner suddenly starts wanting more. They want to explore independence, other relationships, and everything the world has to offer. They could even regard their partner as perfect even while their feelings have cooled, lamenting that if only they met later in life when they were ready to settle down in a serious relationship... then everything would feel perfect. They wouldn't be feeling this restlessness. The relationship would actually feel satisfying to them.

Then those same restless exes, after cheating, breaking up, whatever, and losing their former partner... They discover that they miss their ex despite being the one to break their former lover's heart when seeking freedom. The other relationships, though exciting, aren't as fulfilling as the childhood sweetheart they dumped. If they can at least stay friends then there's a chance of getting back together, but if not... then it becomes terrifying as their safety net is gone.

Speaking of the fallback option, there's this one picture that isn't necessarily canon where Ian talked about MC as if they were his fallback option if acting didn't work out.

Credit, as always, goes to the awesome Sauce. Sorry about the cropping, but tumblr will not accept what's to the left of this image. You can check the full NSFW version out here if you want to see Ian and MC going at it.

BTW consider checking out the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. It's got a lot of other nice and spicy things. Just don't repost anything posted there.

Ian might be showing his insecurity here, but consider the timeline. If acting worked out, he leaves MC to go to his fancy acting school. There, he seems to have made it as a model and actor... and it's (presumably) where he cheated. He got what he wanted, all the excitement and fame of the life of an actor... including an exciting tryst... then he realized that he betrayed all his ideals, everything he said before about only loving and wanting MC, and his relationship with MC all for one moment of excitement.

MC was the comfortable option, the nostalgic option, the safe option... but sometimes a person just wants to take risks, to "grow up" and be adventurous... and sometimes that leads to reckless decisions, like what happened with Ian.

We might not know for sure exactly what led Ian to cheat, but he knows he messed up, as he admits to himself in the demo. He knows he wrecked a good thing... and that's why he's so desperate to get his safe nostalgia back.

Guess cashew pizza wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, was it, Ian?

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[fairytale-poll]

SEMI-FINALS! MATCH 2 OUT OF 2

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Ylfa:

She just went through so much and so much growth and i love her very much.

She becomes a big bad wolf

She met Death and Death wanted her to live.

Great depiction of a teenager by Emily Axford. A lot of scenes get really emotional with her being a symbol of the cycle of life and death and eventually she will always become the Big Bad Wolf.

she faced off with Death and he told her to live. this Death, who was much older than the Death she was supposed to meet, stared off with Yilfa for days until she succumbed to hunger and ate him alive. other iterations of death apologized to her for the story she was forced to suffer through, for the punishment she had to endure over an unrealistic and unabidable rule she was destined to break. her corrupted story turned her into the big bad wolf, into death itself. she sacrificed the beloved memory of her grandma, her namesake, so that her friends would be able to save their world. even though she gained it back in the end, she was willing to live the rest of her life as the wolf, a harbinger of death, and when she was reminded that she was just a child, that it wasn’t her responsibility to guide the dead, she cried, and separated from the wolf. she was able to grow up normal and happy after suffering from the looming presence of death. i’m gonna make me friend also submit yilfa bc they’re smarter than me and can make better propaganda

my mutual really likes her

Her narrative arc about growing up and life and death is so beautiful and her being a werewolf is so cool. Emily Axford gets girlhood like nobody else.

she is the bravest little girl in the world she met death and death wanted her to live she split his skull and ate the innards of death himself she is just a little girl!!!!!!!

PRIMO Red Riding Hood adaptation. Ate the wolf who ate her gramma. Is a werewolf and a metaphor for puberty. Loves her friends. Can break her bones to reshape her body into various animal forms.

Not only did she have to lose her grandmother, but she also nearly dies of starvation and exhaustion until The Big Bad Wolf, aka Death, convinced her to live, by her killing him and eating his flesh, therefore making her Death

Ylfa has a snazzy orange top hat given to her by a very attractive fairy. Three Blind Mice is her favorite story. She brought her grandma lollipopcorn and threw the broth in the river halfway there. She first developed a crush on Pinocchio when she saw him use his nose as a stripper pole and didn't kiss him until they were twenty-one and having an awkward conversation about her grandma's death and Toy Island. She fought a baron with a spoon. She wants a bra. She jumped into The Terrible Dogfish’s stomach to save her friend. She has pinkeye and grandma hobbies. She fought off a shit ton of homicidal tables at once. She is pals with Little Miss Muffet. She killed her family. She sacrificed the memory of her grandmother to become Death. She was basically adopted by Mother Goose (who is a cool old gay dude). She Wildshapes by horribly contorting her body into animalistic forms. She is a Barbarian who acts as a support character. She is the bravest little girl in the whole world.

Behold, 3 minutes of the weirdest and best little girl! [Link]

Her weirdgirl swag is off the charts :) [Link]

Ylfa Propaganda: [Link]

Ylfa turns Little Red Riding Hood into a metaphor for not just puberty but grief and death and the inevitability of loss--of innocence, of childhood, of who you had and who you were. The Wolf is the End of All Things, and Ylfa met Death and Death wanted her to live. She gave up the memory of her grandmother--her namesake, her humanity--and became Death, and she was there to be the end of her grandmother's grandmother's story, because there always has been and always will be a wolf. But in the end, she is just a little girl, and she doesn't have to take this burden. There is a wolf-that-is-not-a-wolf waiting for everyone with a snazzy orange top hat, and there is a strange girl playing cards with witches and kissing a boy who used to be a puppet, and they all lived happily.

Vote Ylfa cause she pulled through when it came to the Riding Hooded Mercenary and I know a worthy opponent when I see one.

Yuyuko:

She's related to Red Riding Hood, has costumes of Red Riding Hood, and she has ten hoodies in various shades of red. She's sapphic. She's autistic. She's a dog person. She's little beepo.

Technically this might be stretching it because she was casted into this play exactly once (though she has two cards dedicated to it due to the Encore cards). Anyways she always wears around a big red hood outside of this play but that's not directly based off of Little Red Riding hood from my knowledge so it doesn't matter much. What does matter is that Yuyuko keeps up her pattern of being casted in roles where her character either dies or suffers a lot (this one being the latter) in this play, though thankfully I'm not sure that she wrote herself into this narrative this time

[fallout4-reacts]

Can you give your idea about every important npc like you've done about the companions ? (by important npc I mean Sturge, the long family, diamond city mayor, Fahrenheit and etc)

Interesting one and I am so eager that you will just hm... jump the list

(I will be so hated)

Part 1

Sturges - Fahrenheit - Tinker Tom - Irma

Sturges had to be gay. If not, he needs to be an ace/aro. It would be shame if he isn't.

Because you absolutely need Sturges as your gay best friend. The gay best friend of everyone.

Yes, he is a modest, ingenious man who comes up with his own words when none exist to express what he wants to say—not quite as intense as Tinker Tom, but you get the picture.

Everyone, even homophobes, needs Sturges as their gay best buddy. They just don’t know he is. They’ll appreciate him.

Furthermore, presuming he isn't Ace/Aro, Sturges is, secretly or not, attracted by Preston. And if he is Ace/Aro, he still has to have a platonic crush on Preston.

Well, that's all there is to it.

Although Preston is charming, the ragtag group of Quincy survivors would be severely lacking in charisma if it weren't for Sturges, our gay neutral buddy who possesses an excess of verve that overwhelms our feeble minds.

It is canonical that Fahrenheit is Hancock's daughter. It's in the code. That's it.

Why didn't Bethesda have the guts to include it in the game? No idea. Still, she's.

Now that we've covered that, let's move on to the two headcanons in the game.

To start, no one has mentioned the fact that she is actually Hancock's daughter.

It is clear that Hancock knew her mother before he turned ghoul. For one, Fahr wouldn't exist if it weren't for this. Second, she would be younger than five years old.

With this being, it's plausible that Fahr hasn't spent much time in Hancock's company, even given she's between the ages of 25 and 35.

For the most part, I'm fine with the 2-3 year time frame that's commonly used in fan fiction.

On the other hand, I have my own headcanon.

Fahrenheit was born out of a fleeting encounter with a girl, a bar, and a reckless young Hancock. Totally careless to the point where the pregnant woman wanted him to know absolutely nothing about her pregnancy.

An affair with the stunning McDonough for just one evening? Of course. Sharing parental responsibilities? At no point.

However, Hancock had found the truth in some way. Perhaps his own brother was aware of what was happening and wished for him to suffer hardship.

"You are such a disaster; Alyssa has fled Diamond City so you will never find out you are a father!"

When it happened, Hancock's havoc level skyrocketed. So much so that his friend Nick, who was becoming famous for his sleuthing abilities, once suggested he go after the girl and the child, who was probably a toddler by then.

And he found them.

Here's another set of diverging head canon. Some where Nick is unable to rescue the mother but the child, while others have Hancock watching after his ex-girlfriend from a distance as his daughter grows up.

But eventually, mom either dies or vanishes. And the Wasteland is no place for Fahrenheit to be alone.

Next, we have two more variances.

1. Similar to Piper and Nat, Hancock takes in and raises the girl as best he can. In contrast, Fahr is more of a rat street and does not receive much direct attention from Hancock. Nevertheless, compared to the Wasteland, being Diamond City's rat street, or kind of drifter, is greater.

Or

2. Fahrenheit is bestowed upon a family that Hancock has confidence in.

Whatever the case may be, Farh eventually shows up at Goodneighbor after Hancock turns into a ghoul and is almost definitely involved with Vic's expulsion. The still, small voice that encouraged Hancock to do it.

Fahr already sees her father's potential—with a little guidance—as a Master of Chest, and she wants to help him reach it.

She is quite helpful.

Rather than deal with a symbolic authority that she leaves to her father, she chooses to focus on the military corpus.

That concludes her relationship with Hancock.

Now let's talk about her personality.

The character Fahrenheit is more nuanced than her lines suggest, as is typical in Fallout.

An observer, she is.

She avoids bonding herself with anyone, as they are just pawns on her board.

No matter how fond she is of Hancock and how dedicated she is to his goal, she still looks down on him.

The wickedness she experienced as a child is largely to blame for this. She could have been led to believe by her mother that her father had abandoned the family. Or something.

Also, her mother perhaps has been cold and distant as she struggled to provide for her family. Perhaps she felt this way because her daughter was a bittersweet reminder that she will never get her heart's desire.

Whatever the case may be, it's given a Fahrenheit that doesn't connect to anyone or open to anyone.

She prefers to follow her own path and isn't interested in sharing it with anyone.

This is something that Hancock acknowledges and values.

That is why Hancock has her respect.

That is why they make a great duo to lead Goodneighbor in the right direction.

One of Deacon's greatest secrets is Tinker Tom.

Yeah, you heard me well.

Of Deacon.

There is an unstated origin story behind Tinker Tom. He was rescued by Deacon, who then integrated--hide--him in the RailRoad. That is precisely why Tinker is so incredibly paranoid. Simply put, he has an absolutely compelling reason to be so.

Everything he experienced and learned is a thousand times worse than anything you can ever fathom.

A timid young prodigy who was relentlessly exploited until Deacon came along and provided him with a safe haven.

Now, most people respect him; those who seek his assistance must first prove they deserve it.

He is under no more any sort of obligation.

Yet, he keeps a subdue attitude in face of the "RailRoad leader", but it's all a joke between Deacon and Tom, and Tom KNOW that no one can command him anymore, be mean with him in any meaner. 

Should one go on, Deacon would expose his worst traits, leading to the person's doom...

And somehow, everyone in the RailRoad realizes that.

Irma is a woman of power. While they were younger, she flirted with Marowski and took advantage of him.

Simply put, she is a woman with the big W.

A stunning lady.

But she refuses to be a pawn for anybody.

She had brought the Memory Den long before it became significant. It wasn't just anything; it was plainly a brothel.

Bawd suit well to Irma. A clever matron.

And Amari is a very wise lady as well.

Akin to Irma, she has seen the property's potential. The proposal was made by her. They have associate.

And that's Irma that tricked Nick Valentine in the Memory Den.

Because it was not otherwise.

After following the trail of a runaway spouse once, Nick arrived at the Third Rail. He was quickly spotted by Irma.

At that time, he was not quite as battered as he is today. Everything about him—his handsome style, his deep, cool voice, and his gentlemanly behavior—was exquisite for someone with an open mind.

His charms have captivated Irma.

She has exhausted every possible means to lure him into her clutches. However, he still manages to gracefully sidestep her traps.

And her attraction has just intensified. Nevertheless, she possesses an elitist aspect that should not be lowered. Never she would have kneel for him.

After that, a status quo of sorts. Just like him, she's a gamer.

However, if the SoSu are successful in their romance with Nick, Irma will go absolutely wild. SoSu, be careful with your drink if Irma serves it to you.

[moriarty1234]

T*LC Refutation (but decidedly NOT johnlock refutation)

[Note: I love and ship johnlock because I saw it for myself in the show when I watched it and was part of the general audience in the past. I even want it to become canon in some Holmes adaption in the future. But T*lc needs to get sucked into obscurity and forgotten. Other fandoms like Good Omens, etc., are following the same rhetoric in their "meta" posts, and that needs to go. This is crucial for our basic critical thinking skills and objectivity.]

Read Part - 3 : Everything wrong with "subtexts" and "symbolisms" here.

Part-4: The Harmful Aspect of T*LC:

Let's move on to some more serious issues, or why we (Kim and I) don't believe for even a second that hardcore t*lcers (the ones who're rabid about this theory) ever cared for any type of representation, or even johnlock in itself for that matter.

I say hardcore t*lcers because the normal ones simply believe in t*lc and keep that shit to themselves. I'm even mutuals with them on Tumblr (although I know that when the show was on air, hardcore, insufferable, and deeply problematic t*lcers were in the majority).

1.) The very definition of t*lc : The general idea of t*lc is that johnlock has been planned since 2010 (right from the first episode of S1), this whole show is essentially a love story between Sherlock and John, the cases are not so important, and that johnlock is going to be the endgame canon ship. When the writers deny anything related to johnlock in their own show, they're lying to keep their elaborate plan under the wraps. When Sherlock and John kiss on screen, it'll be a rug pull moment for all the non-believers, their love story will be groundbreaking queer representation in mainstream media, and BBC Sherlock will become a culturally iconic Holmes adaptation. Because sometimes, the queer characters can be the heroes of the story.

All this sounded so nice and fancy to me when I was new to shipping johnlock. Because BBC Sherlock was my first fandom that I ever participated in. Johnlock was (and is) my first ship. I used to be a non-shipper before this, because I'm not exactly a Romance-genre fan in published fiction.

Now I don't like the general idea of this at all. Not because I don't want johnlock to become canon in some version (I really do), but there are so many flaws in the very idea of t*lc.

a.) They didn't even plan what they were going to do with Rosie Watson in S4. They just introduced the pregnancy subplot to raise the stakes in HLV. Only for shock value purposes. This was Mark Gatiss' statement (now I can't find the link but I've seen an article about this before). To think they'd planned an entire romance storyline, but it was just under the wraps the whole time, is unrealistic.

b.) While it's true that showrunners or directors do lie to their fans before a work is published to maintain an element of surprise, Moffat and Gatiss had denied anything related to johnlock too many times, and almost vehemently for most viewers to believe that they're just lying. One can only lie too many times, after all. And something needs to be there in the actual show for (maximum) fans to catch on that they're indeed just lying. There wasn't enough evidence for that. Too many of those scenes just came off as gay jokes instead of anything of real substance. That wasn't a good look.

c.) The third part is really what gets me the most here, and one of the main reasons why Kim and I began to actively despise t*lc, even though we're both still pro-johnlock. These people really thought the ultimate rug pull moment for the entire audience should be... that John and Sherlock are in love? Really? That's it? That's highest standard you have for supposedly groundbreaking queer representation? That doesn't sound right. Queer representation really shouldn't be used for shock value. As if we're not marginalised and isolated from most people already. Especially in my country. That just sounds as though you want to place these two characters in a museum as though they're some exotic beings or something. That's the opposite of a healthy queer rep.

d.) Even if johnlock were canon, it would've hardly been groundbreaking for the purposes of queer representation. Even in the 2010s. Because shows like Breaking Bad (a show from 2008, i.e., before BBC Sherlock, in which a very significant character is canonically gay and black), Elementary (where Mrs Hudson is canonically trans, Joan Watson is a well written character even as a poc female lead, Jamie Moriarty is also properly characterised when mainstream media doesn't have a lot of well-written female villains to begin with), London Spy (which is also a BBC show from 2015), Money Heist (which also features a significant canonically gay character), etc., still existed. I'll even list The Irregulars as an example, even though the first season of that show was aired in 2021, because that was still before the Sherlock Holmes franchise entered the public domain. Watson is canonically gay and black in that one.

e.) This is a detective show you're talking about. Cases aren't important? You kidding me?

2.) Rabid t*lcers were hypocritical as hell. They used to demand canon johnlock for "representation", but they were all sorts of bigoted people themselves.

a.) They made racist comments about Lucy Liu.

(From Sarah Z's video) :

They've called slurs to fans of colour in the fandom (I can think of one fan specifically right now) for not shipping johnlock.

b.) Characterising Sherlock as a twink, gay baby, or "smol" is fetishistic. It's just homophobia indirectly.

c.) They went rabid about the bisexual Sherlock headcanon, Instead of simply disagreeing with it for whatever reason. You're not doing the queer community any favours by h/cing John as bisexual just for your johnlock shipping, only because he has canonically shown attraction to women.

See this:

Stop playing the victim card right after perpetuating biphobia lol. You need to rewatch the show if you think mere fascination was all he felt for Irene. Also, even if he genuinely didn't show any attraction to any woman in canon, fanon can still be its own thing. Not everything has to be strictly canon compliant.

One more:

Stop straw manning and assuming real people's sexuality. Stop ship bashing. Enough with the biphobia.

This person is a johnlocker and "The One" obviously means johnlock here. No, not everyone is uncomfortable because of johnlock for bigoted reasons. People are allowed to have preferences.

Another one (probably my favourite) :

Talk about hypocrisy. The title of this post sounds so positive to bisexuality, but then OP goes right ahead to frantically claim Sherlock is 100% gay and not anything else!!! 1!!

Sherlock is heavily queercoded in the show, I agree. I don't even care whether that was the authorial intent or not at this point. That's what a non-insignificant amount of people took away from this show.

But his canon sexuality was never specified. People are allowed to interpret his sexuality however they want. You are nobody to state your own headcanons as facts.

More hypocrisy.

d.) The acephobia was rampant in this fandom mostly because of these people. It's a well-documented fact.

e.) The misogyny in this fandom was ugly. The kind of outlandish metas they write trying to disprove adl*ck from the show... jeez. If adl*ck definitely doesn't exist in this show, why would you need to disprove it so many times through your meta posts?

Can't erase something that really isn't there, just saying.

"Irene is just a personification of Sherlock's libido for John." Seriously? Do you even listen to yourself?

Don't get me wrong. I blame Mofftiss equally as much for not writing women properly in general, Irene Adler in particular. They butchered canon Irene Adler (a queen) way too much in their show. But the fans' response to her was almost worst.

It's understandable if the show's version of Mary doesn't sit right with you for whatever reason. People are allowed to have preferences. Personally, I'm quite neutral about Mary Morstan in this show.

But these people used to take their hate for her too far. These people have never been as mad at Moriarty, or even at Culverton Smith, as they all were at Mary for shooting Sherlock. Again, this is a crime drama show. Not all characters are going to be sunshine and roses.

3.) Rabid t*lcers hardly ever tried to explore johnlock in other versions. If you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes, you'll be at least curious about different adaptations that exist out there. Why did they hardly ever posted about The Irregulars when it was aired? An adaptation in which Watson is canonically in love with Holmes? I've been around in the johnlock fandom enough to know that the rabid t*lcers (NOT ALL T*LCers) never really cared about the possibility of johnlock in some other version after it ultimately didn't become canon in BBC Sherlock. They only care for johnlock as long as Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are associated with it.

... Yup.

(ACD canon Watson was in his early thirties in the first novel. That's not middle aged. Joanlock didn't even become canon - something that was specified since Day 1 - in Elementary lmfao. Also, Lucy Liu was in her forties when Elementary aired. Get your facts straight.)

All these three points are enough to conclude that what t*lcers usually posted about was obviously not "demand for representation", but rather a demand for some extremely specific fantasies acted out on screen with an even more specific choice of actors.

I even joked to Kim about this: The stuff they demand for is so extremely specific that it sounds like a Starbucks order lol.

Part: 5 - Conclusion:

I want johnlock to become canon in some version of Sherlock Holmes adaptation. But I want t*lc as a theory to be completely forgotten and obscured. T*lc is definitely not the way to go about it. Other fandoms (namely Good Omens) have started to write "metas" with the exact same rhetoric in them, and now it's completely unacceptable. It's 2024 now. Let it go.

Some interesting links Kim and I found that are very insightful and relevant to this post:

About cults and the followers

Cult psychology

Conspiracy theory psychology

Science vs pseudo-science

Science vs psudo-science - 2

Conspiracy theory psychology - 2

Signs someone is a pseudo-intellectual

One explanation why even otherwise sensible people seem to believe in t*lc

PS: Not every dark haired character/ blond character is a Sherlock/John mirror respectively. That's not how character-mirroring works. Experts would know this.

T*LC refutation (but NOT johnlock) refutation master post.

[alwayschasingrainbows]

Number three in Emily's Quest

I had never before considered how important the symbolism of the number three was in the final book of the Emily of New Moon trilogy.

Of course, somewhere in the dark corner of my mind, there were memories of frequent references to "three am" and "white nights", but I didn't realize how often the number three manifested itself in the pages of this novel. Here are some examples:

At the beginning of the novel, Emily's three close friends (Teddy, Ilse and Perry) leave their hometown to persue their dreams, while Emily stays in Blair Water.

During their last conversation before Teddy leaves, he and Emily discuss how much they hate the agony of three o'clock in the morning.

When Emily tries to comfort Teddy (who fears that by leaving he is doomed to failure), she notices Vega of the Lyre, shining above the "Three Princesses" (i.e. the three lombard poplars). Emily and Teddy then make their life-long vow to think of each other every time they see this star.

Emily says that there is "no three o'clock in the morning in that star."

Some time later, Emily writes in her diary that "This was a 'big day.' I had three acceptances."

As Emily watches over the dying Mr. Carpenter's bed, she notices that he becomes "restless" at three in the morning. They share a conversation in which Mr. Carpenter warns Emily to write only for herself. He dies shortly thereafter.

Dean's eyes are described as a mixture of three expressions: tenderness, passion and sorrow, when he tells Emily that her stories are only "pretty cobwebs".

As Montgomery puts it "Only three dynamic things happened that year to vary the noiseless tenor of Emily's way." (Emily's "love affair" with Mr. Wallace, Emily falling in and out of love with Aylmer Vincent).

Emily suffers numerous white nights, and the agony of "three a.m." is mentioned many times.

Emily has an idea for her first book at three in the morning: "In her first anguish of loneliness, as she lay awake at three o'clock, Emily had remembered a certain wild winter night when she and Ilse and Perry and Teddy had been "stormed in" in the old John House on the Derry Pond [...] that night of rapt delight "thinking out" a story that had flashed into her mind at a certain gay, significant speech of Teddy's."

Seller of Dreams (Emily's first novel) is rejected three times. After the first rejection, Emily needs three weeks to recover, before she is able to send her book to another publisher.

Dean, asked to review Emily's books, brings it back three nights later. Again, he tells her the book is "Cobwebs—only cobwebs".

When Emily gets injured, three doctors are called.

Emily writes in her diary: "not althogether the [...] failure she supposes bitterly when three MSS. are rejected in succession."

Ilse tells Emily there are times she wants to tell Teddy "something [...] he'd think of for years whenever he woke up at three o'clock o'night."

Murrays are worried for three weeks that Emily might fall in love with a "handsome, dashing Jack Bannister, the Derry Pond Don Juan—"a picturesque scoundrel,"

Emily writer in her diary "How much difference in one's outlook three acceptances make!"

Emily reads a letter about Ilse and Teddy's engagement three times.

Ilse and Teddy's wedding is supposed to take place in the afternoon, at three o'clock.

Ilse and Perry's midnight car escapade takes place three nights before Ilse and Teddy's wedding day.

Ilse's Aunt - Mr. Isabella Hyslop - believes that the wedding isn't going to go well, because she saw a "fragment of an old election poster, 'Blue Ruin,' in black letters three inches long staring us in the face." (She has been married three times herself).

When Teddy comes back to Emily, Three Princesses are mentioned again ("in that old-world garden where the three Lombardies still kept guard.").

In my opinion, the number three is the most important number in this novel.

It appears as many as thirty-seven times and mostly suggests something negative or unpleasant. It is often used to describe Emily's depression and loneliness, her sleepless nights and moments of weakness.

It appears often in the context of Teddy; it is with him that Emily talks about how difficult this hour is for her, when, looking at the three poplars, they make a lifelong promise to each other.

However, it is also a number that manifests itself in the context of her literary career (her first novel was rejected three times, her short stories were accepted for publication three times).

As for Dean, this number only appears when he is belittling Emily's literary talents (when he refers to her writing as "cobwebs"). During the description of their engagement, there is no mention of this number (except in Emily's "white nights").

This number also often appears in reference to Ilse and Teddy's relationship (especially if Perry or Emily are concerned!). It is the hour Teddy and Ilse are planning to wed, or the number of times Emily reads Ilse's news about the engagement. Perry and Ilse's midnight car-drive takes place three days before Ilse and Teddy's wedding.

To end this too-long post, let me quote:

"The number 3 is a very mystical and spiritual number featured in many folktales (three wishes, three guesses, three little pigs, three bears, three billy goats gruff). [...]

Plato saw 3 as being symbolic of the triangle, the simplest spatial shape, and considered the world to have been built from triangles." [*]

[*] https://www.britannica.com/topic/number-symbolism

[the-hawthorns-ocs]

Vice Mothheart!

Sad soggy cat with a cool eyepatch

Character Bio:

Kinship: The Hawthorns

Gay; Tom; he/him

Age: (3 cycles, 4 moons; ~29 Hyrs)

Voice Headcanon: (haven't found an actual voice yet) maybe, Lonely! Martin Blackwood- TMA, but if he wasn't British

Title meaning: -heart =  A kind hearted cat; and empathetic cat; this cat stands tall and is prideful of their role in their Kinship; a cat who is not afraid to speak out about what they believe in.

Role: Vice

Previous Role: Keeper

Mother: Pinefang

Father: Ospreycry

Other notable kin: Heir Night (nephew)

Extra Notes: He was originally named Swanheart, but I changed it to Moth to better fit the setting (there are no swans where he lives!) He is now named after the Vestal Tiger-Moth!

Also his name symbolizes how "he is a moth caught in a spider's web"

Character Summary:

Vice Mothheart is Monarch Spiderweb's litter mate but despite this, they are very different cats. Moth is an empathetic cat, he's soft spoken and often quite meek. Though when he was younger he was more likely to stand up for himself and be more brave.

Moth was the weaker and smaller of the litter and Spider was their mother's obvious favorite. Despite this he and Spider used to be close, though looking back on it Moth cant tell if Spider ever actually cared about him, or just liked having him around for her own gain and ego. Moth likes to believe that she did care about him, and he wants to believe somewhere deep down she still does, it would help him feel a bit better about the fact that despite everything, he still cares about her.

Spider and Moth's relationship started going down hill when Spider began training with the Dark Maw. Moth didn't know what was going on, but he could see she was changing and becoming worse, and she was pulling away from him.

Moth realized Spider's true cruelty, and the lengths she would go to have control when as adults, Moth fought Spider on a decision. Spider, enraged by Moth daring to disagree and stand up to her, decided to get vengeance and establish power over him. She tricked him into going out in the forest alone to an area that had recently been inhabited by a fox (which Moth did not know).

Moth was attacked by the fox and nearly killed, he lost sight in one of his eyes and received several other scars. He has only survived, because Spider sent a patrol to save him right before things went /too/ far. Ever since this, Moth has been absolutely terrified of Spider, he knew that if he ever stood up to her she would not hesitate to do worse.

Moth will now do anything Spider says, and stays quiet about anything she does. This is why Spider chose him as her Vice. Moth knows he is a selfish and weak cat for choosing to do nothing all to save his hide, but he feels like all his bravery left the day of that fox attack.

PS. I love this man, i love complicated characters, who are good or bad depending on interpretation... like my boy has sat by as his sister murdered people but also hes traumatized and i feel bad for him </3

[skymagpie]

Mists of Pandaria literally took a dwarf character, previously rightfully depicted as a scumbag villain because he wiped out an entire tribe of tauren whilst citing imperialism and racial superiority, and depicted him as a good guy out to protect the pandaren whilst vilifying the tauren for resisting him!

Not to mention that they retconned nearly the entire orc race as evil in that expansion with countless promising orc characters previously depicted as honorable and likable like Zaela, the entire Kor'kron organization, Bloodhilt, ETC becoming Garrosh clones simply because they were orcs and "orcs are inherently bad".

Or that the tie in novels for Mists of Pandaria like Tides of War literally had Baine freaking out and exiling tauren for resisting human and dwarf colonization of their lands.

Vol'jin, one of the only Poc coded monsters to be depicted in a decnet light in MOP, was literally described by the Alliance player as "Disgusting", "savage", and other terms, with the game even adding flies around Vol'jin for this quest.

Before you say thats just the Alliance player's view, white characters never get this description like say human characters when you're playing Horde.

For reference, Shadowlands demonized Dambala, a revered and famous real world loa worshipped in Haiti and many other parts of the World.

The same expansion almost exclusively had PoC coded monsters in the Hell portions, like Zul'jin was in Hell for protecting his lands against colonists that are so proud of their genocide of trolls, their leaders name themselves after it(Trollbanes) the recent Sylvanas novel even clarified that the humans and High Elves knew that it was the Amani's land when they made their homes there from the stone obelisks decorated with troll holy symbols and writing.

It has also been confirmed in recent novels that the tauren gods are fake whilst the night elf gods are real...

And the tauren's oppressor whom had been frequently terrorizing the earth throughout World of Warcraft's history, Magni Bronzebeard, literally got the role of voice of Azeroth like the true Mighty Whitey he is.

Warcraft III for all its racial coding never had anything like this and Warcraft I and II did not have this much racial coding.

So the Doubling down on the racial coding and the "PoC Coded monsters are evil" stuff was done by the modern writers that go "look at how woke we are, two white women are gay an we retconned another white character to be trans, now lets kill some voodoo worshipping savages in the Jungle together!"

Anyhow, sorry I have strong feelings about this as someone whom isn't white myself.

This is sadly a very extensive list and I have no doubt is only part of the problem. I used to play WoW when I was 13 which was 13 years ago and I didn't speak English then so I didn't really know lore. I came back only recently and the few things I played were some BfA (Kul Tiras side), all of Dragonflight and some Legion and a bit of Shadowlands. I haven't touched the other things aside from the vague knowledge of what is going on. I have to keep an eye on these things as I play on because I didn't know most of it.

Hell they do stupid colonialist tropes even with white-coded races, like I am sure the Drust are supposed to be Celtic coded and yet they also have them portrayed as bad for not wanting the Kul Tirans on their land.

I feel like when they do something good for the non-white coded races, it is always played safe for the general playerbase of the cishet white dudes who want their racist stereotypes intact. They always seem to be pussyfooting around the issue without making any meaningful change. They want to make sure they won't offend their biggest racist consumer base and that is so sad. Blizzard has potent racism 10 years behind everyone else.

Also I am sorry you have to write so much, but thank you for sharing this and I hope more people are made aware of it. It's okay to always vent here for anything, and I will eventually catch up with playing the content.

[bylerlve]

hi 👋 i don’t understand why bylers say that El can find her own way and be independent and that she doesn’t need a romantic relationship but Will does? it’s a double standard

i was going to answer this with a meme because I don't usually like responding to mileven asks as they are usually aggressive, but you seem curious and not in a harass-y way so

(this is way longer than i expected, sorry)

when we talk about El being independent and not in a romantic relationship, and Will ending up with Mike, it's in perspective of their respective arcs. El's whole journey throughout the show has been about finding herself, and becoming apart of a family. she didn't have any idea as to what a romantic relationship even was in season 1, but she did want a family. she asked mike if he would be like her brother, and he said no and tried to explain it to her, but she didn't understand, rightfully so, she's been locked up in a lab ever since she was born. El's journey throughout season 2 was her relationship with Hopper, and her finding more about herself. literally one of the episodes is called "the lost sister", it's about her being apart of a family. kali helps El, which therefore helps her learn about herself and what she wants. she leaves her to go be with her friends and family. in season 3, she breaks up with Mike, and is clearly happier than we've ever seen her when they're apart and she's with Max. Max helps her step away from the influence of both Mike and Hopper, showing her how to find what SHE likes, not what she's told to like. hopper "dies' at the end of season 3 and she becomes apart of the Byers' family. another thing with family. she gains a family and moves away, going to school in season 4. here she is being introduced to the world and a normal life (with her family). skipping ahead a bit, at the end of "Papa" she is saying goodbye to the abusive relationship that was the only family she's known up until now. the rest of season 4 happens, she is reunited with Hopper and Joyce, and she is finally with her family, all as one, after that, we have the infamous last shot, she has shed all of her blue clothing (Mike's symbolic color) and is standing up ahead in front of everyone else, showing that next season is going to be about her going out on her own, away from the influences of a romantic relationship. her finding herself and being apart of a family is how her personal arc will be complete.

will on the other hand, is the foil to El in this way. He's had a loving mother and brother his whole life, his family has been present. He's had his friends. Will's arc is about him coming to terms with his sexuality and being able to have the romantic relationship that he wants. his struggle throughout the seasons has yes, been about him being taken and later possessed, but his PERSONAL struggle has been about him being gay. this is what he has to come to terms with, and him ending up in a romantic relationship with the boy he's in LOVE with (emphasis on being in love, not just a crush) is how his arc will come full circle.

it's about their personal journeys and what they need to fulfill them.

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №15

Symbolism edition!

What type of metaphor/symbolism do you use the most often? (Ex. Comparing people to animals/inanimate objects, prophetic dreams, foreshadowing, flower language)

What is your favourite symbolism you've put into Fault?

What cool symbolism idea didn't make it into the final cut? (Ex. A character was supposed to be another cryptid originally and it mirrored their personality perfectly but then you changed it)

If you tried to talk about how symbolic their life and trauma was, which characters do you think would tell you to muffin off? Would somebody actually eagerly discuss it and maybe try to use it to predict their future? Who knows. You do probably that's why I'm asking-

Unrelated, but what the heck is "Evil "? You've mentioned that Wilbur speaks.. Evil mole? And the only thing that came to my mind was Evil frogs. And then the "They turn the fricking frogs gay" song. And- okay, I'll stop.

1.Comparing people to animals when under extreme pressure is a favorite -growling, snarling, whimpering, cornered animals, allusions to prey- it’s all really fun and to me exemplifies how panic robs people of more cerebral responses to problems. Tommy as an altar lamb is delicious. 

Dreams I usually use as short hand for a characters unconscious fears or desires. Say, Wilbur’s graphic nightmares of eating his friends and family, Tommy’s dreams of Phil burning him as a symptom of abandonment. 

There’s a flower/tree metaphor for the Hive which WHiT Croplabds really digs into plus all the hive members having flower names whereas Willow is an independent tree. 

The sea of voices is. Potentially NOT a metaphor? It started as vague description but visual hallucinations can be a component of DID and The Blood God and voices are already a magical thing so potentially The Blade very literally built a fortress around his mind to hold back the bloody sea with the god of Slaughter and Supremacy lurking in the depths. And the further I went I realized water has very much become a symbol of memory between The Blade, Ranboo, Niki. Which is extra funny for how it screwed over Phil. 

Plus the little detail of all the chapters being named colors that tie to the main pov/arc that’s in the chapter, some color theory thrown in. Some colors have a lot of thought in them when picking, such as darker shades for heavier chapters. Things like Scheeles digs into the toxic history of that green color and reflects the poison in that chapter, or fog tying into disassociation of the grey period, Rose as a double entendre for “A flower with thorns; or, ascension” and a joke about Rosalind, shamrock for something lucky happening.  2.Tommy’s door. On a literal sense it’s him being a teenage boy slapping the door frame every time he leaves. Which technically has some implications for freedom and rebellion etc but that’s not the real kicker. Because of the Hallway Massacre, it becomes an allusion to biblical Passover, with the threshold smeared in blood being the only one safe from The Angel of Death. It is only when Philza reaches Tommy that there is clemency. It’s a really fun nod to Philza’s nickname and a harrowing allegory at the same time. 

3. Niki was initially going to be fire aligned. A body that could move in between flesh and fire, growing and shrinking depending on how much fuel she had. Which would do well with things like her burning L’Manburg tree, personality, anarchy wahoo, etc. But also that’s because Niki was originally going to be Sapnap (or Pændamonium and I’m still mad about how clever that name was). There was this whole minor plot line about accidentally merging with Phil’s godflame and a mind suffering trying to encapsulate billions of years of life, epic team up, etc, but then like I didn’t want to include the dream team for reasons. Which sucks too because Dream had a really cool theme with puppet strings and soul bonds. He got recycled into honestly a way cooler and better written villain, but with Niki I really wrestled with it. I liked fire with her but I wanted it more tailored. She’s still developing, but the miasma mermaid direction has a lot more to play with.

4. Wilbur would tell me to muffin off because it’s already sharply aware that the dark/light dynamic thing it has going on with Phil is very on the nose. Tommy would just feel very ill. I think he’s start crying if I lay out all the Rose animatic symbolism to him, but also he’s not a very introspective guy. I think The Blade and Phil would be most likely to use the knowledge but symbolism is also debatably literal with them. Tubbo gets told about the freezing metaphor and just dryly replies: yeah, we’re pretty aware of the disassociation, thanks. Dr. Blake finds the scimitar smile thing amusing and accurate. Webb flatly: a spider motif? Ohhh my goooood. Who would have guesssssssed. 

5.Evil [language] is a joke that Wilbur’s language abilities come from knowing forbidden eldritch tongues. Ergo he can’t speak Mole, only evil Mole. If it were to speak whatever is the equivalent of Evil Mole, it would probably have a cooler name, such as Wilbur being partially able to communicate with Tubbo via Evil Bug (Venderblight). It’s not actually the same language but it has enough similarities for minimal coded communication.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Sirius wasn't surprised that people fancied him. It wasn't that Sirius was cocky. But he was aware of his beauty. He had grown up to be pleasing to look at. All his family was like that. They were blessed with beauty. It was all genes. But that wasn't all that Sirius was. He was more than a pretty face.

He knew people around him wanted him because of what he looked like, what he represented, what he was. But none of them actually knew Sirius. If they really did, they wouldn't like him.

Sirius was a mess. Sirius was annoying, reckless, selfish. He destroyed everything he touched. He didn't think before speaking, before acting. He was difficult to be around. Walburga had said it. And she was right. Who would want him, really want him, with his stupid temper? His beauty wasn't worth all of that.

Sirius had let himself go with his girlfriends. But soon enough he discovered they always wanted something from him. He was beautiful. He was sexy. He was a fine lover. A sex symbol. A piece of meat. A piece of art.

Perhaps they all had loved what Sirius represented. What his parents had made of him. The reputation he had built for himself. Handsome, cool, funny, sexy Sirius. And sure, Sirius was beautiful. But some day he would stop being it. And then, what would it be left?

That was why Sirius hated himself for falling for Remus. It had been easy to flirt with girls, perhaps fool around with them. They didn't mean anything for Sirius so it didn't hurt that perhaps they used him. That perhaps all they saw was a pretty boy.

But loving Remus was different. Remus meant everything for Sirius. He was a special friend for him. They had become so close lately. And Sirius didn't want to lose him.

That Remus kissed him wasn't odd. Sirius knew that if Remus was gay, he would be swooned by his gorgeous looks. But the thing was that Remus would never love Sirius the same way. Not really. Remus deserved better. And soon he would find someone else. And Sirius would be left with a broken heart.

Sirius couldn't take Remus out of his mind. He was bloody scared of how much he cared for Remus. And he was scared of how much his heart beat when he was around, how much he thought about kissing him. How long he stared. How much he wanted Remus to be happy.

Lately, Sirius didn't find anyone else attractive. As much as girls flirted with him, he didn't want anyone else but Remus. And that sucked.

"Hey, gorgeous..."

Megan was very pretty. But one of the girls that saw Sirius as if he was some delicious piece of cake. And he was tired of that.

When he came out for a smoke, he was hoping Remus would follow him. But he didn't. Megan apparently did.

"Hey Meg"

Megan was drunk. Her makeup was all ragged. She held a cup on her hand. And she could barely stand still.

"You're here, Sirius..." she said as she touched his arm "You are... here..."

"Yes..."

Sirius was eyeing to the where the party noises were coming from. He was hoping, begging God or a divine force for some one to come and get her. Didn't she had a friend who was always with her?

She came closer and Sirius took a step back.

"You're like a beautiful painting, you know that?" she said, taking a sip of her drink "I cannot take my eyes off you..."

"Thank you, darling. So do you" he winked.

Sirius was acting cool as always. He gave her a smile. But he was searching for ways to escape.

"I f-f-fancy you..." Megan mumbled, letting out a hiccup.

'You don't know me' Sirius wanted to say. But he didn't.

"You are drunk, Meg" he said instead "Let's get you some water..."

Sirius was being patient. He wanted to take her back to the party but Meg pushed him away.

"No! You don't understand!" she exclaimed, she was swaying dizzily "I... I..." she sighed desperately "I cannot take it anymore. I really want to kiss you" she smiled. And something about that smile was evil for Sirius "Do you want to kiss me?"

In other circumstances, and perhaps if she wasn't this drunk, Sirius would've snogged her for a bit. Just to feel something. Perhaps act like this Casanova in front of James. But Sirius didn't see the point anymore. She wouldn't be worth it. She wouldn't be Remus.

"Sorry Meg but..."

"I think we have amazing chemistry, don't we?" Megan laughed. She sounded insane.

Honestly, Sirius had only been nice with her. That was all.

"Oh God! Just fucking kiss me, you wanker!"

Megan pushed him against the wall. In the meantime, dropping boose on his trousers. Sirius cursed and dropped the finished cigarette on the floor. Megan was all over him.

"No! Meg, please!"

Sirius hated how vulnerable and scared he sounded. Like he was about to cry.

Megan tried to kiss his mouth but Sirius looked away. She had a terrible alcohol breath.

She giggled at that and began kissing his neck instead.

"Oh Sirius..."

"Megan..."

Sirius wanted desperately this to end. He wanted to push her away. But she was drunk and he didn't want to be rude. She was a girl after all.

"Kiss me now!"

Megan stole a kiss from Sirius. Sirius didn't even respond but her lips were everywhere and her tongue moved widely.

Sirius was trying to protest but his mouth was rather busy. This was definitely a nightmare.

But Sirius didn't know how to end it. He just felt a strong knot on his throat. And he was disgusted to the taste of alcohol and Doritos he was experiencing.

"Oh! Sorry to interrupt!"

That voice made Sirius came to his senses. He pulled away from the kiss. And there he saw him. None other than Remus Lupin was there. He looked embarrassed and disappointed. He was looking at Sirius like he always did when Sirius did or said something stupid.

"Moony!"

Sirius felt like he wanted to cry. Remus should be the one he was supposed to kiss. Because Sirius was falling for him. Sirius fancied him. Not fucking Megan.

Megan who was laughing again. And if it wasn't for the fact that she was wrapped around Sirius, she would've fallen to the floor.

Remus smiled slightly.

"Sorry... Carry on"

Then he shook his head at Sirius as if it was a joke. It wasn't. And Remus left. He fucking left! How could Sirius' friend leave him in this uncomfortable situation?

"Ooops"

Megan giggled before attacking Sirius' neck again. But this time Sirius wouldn't take it. He had had enough. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to go after Remus. He wanted to clarify things. And tell Remus he was the one he wanted.

"Fucking stop, Megan!"

And Sirius pushed her so hard that her dizziness dragged her to the floor.

"Leave me alone!!"

Megan didn't look happy anymore. She had tears in her eyes. She looked like a lost puppy. As beautiful as before.

"Meg?"

There she was. Late. Megan's friend. That tiny black girl whose name Sirius didn't remember.

"Chloee!" Megan whined.

Oh right. Chloe. Megan was crying already. And Sirius' heart was still beating fast. He felt disgusted and guilty.

Chloe kneeled down next to her friend.

"Oh Meg, are you alright?" she asked, then she looked at Sirius with hate "What did you do to her?"

This didn't look good. So Sirius was the villain in this scenario. Of course.

Sirius swallowed.

"She was bonkers and drunk..." Sirius tried to defend himself. But it all sounded like bullshit.

"You are a disgusting asshole!" Chloe yelled as Megan cried on her shoulder.

"Who the hell pushes a lady to the floor? You are such a pig! Probably wanted to get advantage of her!"

"Shut up!"

"Bloody wanker!"

Sirius needed to get away fast. The knot on his throat felt stronger and stronger.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as he walked away.

He heard Megan vomiting on the floor. And her friend cursed.

"Don't touch my friend ever again!" she yelled after him.

But Sirius moved faster.

Back at the party, Sirius was desperately searching for Remus. But he couldn't find him. And he desperately wanted to cry.

Sirius even bumped into James at some point.

"Mate!" he smiled until he noticed Sirius' pale expression "Are you okay?"

"Have you seen Remus?" Sirius yelled over the music.

James looked concerned.

"What happened?"

"Have you seen him?" Sirius insisted.

"I think he left to the dorm" James answered carefully "He said he was tired"

Sirius was already moving towards there. He ignored James calling after him. Sirius hoped he wasn't following. He wanted to speak to Remus alone.

When Sirius got to their dorm, he was lucky to find Remus alone. He was just coming out of the loo, wearing pijamas.

"Moony..."

"Oh! Hi, Sirius" Remus smiled.

"Why did you leave?"

Sirius sounded desperate.

Remus shrugged.

"I was tired" he said "McGonagall will come and end it soon anyway..."

"I am sorry..." Sirius wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly.

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"About Megan..."

Remus snorted. And Sirius hated that.

"I don't care about who you snog, Sirius..."

"I didn't want to kiss her!" Sirius was yelling now "I didn't want to kiss her Remus!!" then he began sobbing because he couldn't take it anymore "I really didn't want to kiss her, Remus"

Remus' expression softened. He immediately closed the gap between them wrapping his arms around Sirius.

Sirius sobbed a little on Remus' shoulder. He smelled just right. Chocolate and mint. Probably for the toothpaste.

"It's okay, Pads..." Sirius adored the way Remus stroked his hair "It's okay..."

Sirius was restless. He had sobbed. But no tears dropped. And the knot on his throat didn't disappear.

Sirius pushed Remus away.

"You kissed me last term!"

They hadn't talked about it since it happened. It was Sirius' fault for avoiding the subject and pushing Remus away.

"Why?"

Remus looked concerned.

"Because I wanted to"

"Because I am handsome? Because I am beautiful and you are attracted to me because you are gay?"

Remus shook his head carefully.

"I mean you are beautiful but there's more to you than that..."

Sirius desperately pulled him in for a kiss. But Remus immediately pushed him away. And Sirius was grateful. He was disgusted with himself. He had done the same thing that Meg that done with him.

"Sorry..." Sirius cried.

"It's okay" Remus smiled "Perhaps just try to calm down first..."

Sirius kept looking at the floor. Still feeling the need to cry.

"Come on Pads..." Remus said carefully. And his voice made Sirius feel safe "Lay down with me for a second"

Remus sat down in bed waiting for Sirius. Sirius hesitated for a second. But he followed Remus in bed. They laid down staring at each other.

Sirius was calming down, except for his heart that was betraying him and beating fast.

"Are you okay?"

Sirius nodded.

Remus stroked his hair again and Sirius closed his eyes at the touch.

"Moony..."

"Mhmm?"

"Would you like me if I was ugly?"

Remus chuckled.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Would you?"

"Of course! You are my best friend, Pads" Remus said with a smile on his voice "I don't care if you are ugly or not"

Sirius opened his eyes. He couldn't believe Remus' words.

"I am a mess... The reason people like me is because I am pretty and belong to a rich family" Sirius' eyes filled with tears at those words.

"That's not true" Remus answered.

"What else there is about me?"

Remus smiled, still stroking Sirius' hair.

"You are an amazing friend" he said "You are fun, you are smart, you have such a vibrant personality. You fight for what you believe. You are different than your family"

Sirius was overwhelmed by those words. His chest burned. This couldn't be normal.

"You are the one who is amazing, Moony" Sirius said "You shouldn't fancy me"

"Who said I fancy you?"

Remus smiled and Sirius smiled consequently.

There were silent for a while. Remus played with Sirius' hair.

"I fancy you" Sirius swallowed nervously. His heart was going to run out of his chest any minute. It was so intense he had a hard time breathing.

"I fancy you"

Remus scooped closer. Sirius got out of breath for a second.

"I really want to kiss you" Sirius whispered.

"Do it" Remus said looking at Sirius' lips.

Sirius took a deep breath before leaning in and giving Remus the most delicate kiss. Even that made wonders to Sirius' heart.

They kissed more intensely now. And the way Remus' fingers ran through Sirius' hair, and the way he was holding his waist, made him feel loved. Not used. Not used at all.

Sirius and Remus broke apart after a while. They both were smiling like a pair of idiots.

"This is weird" Sirius said after a chuckle.

"Why?"Remus was still smiling.

"Because we are friends..." Sirius answered "And I don't know if I am gay... I don't know what I am..."

"It's okay..." Remus caressed his cheek "You don't have to figure out that now"

"Could we... Could we not tell the others?" Sirius asked carefully "I need some time to figure things out"

Remus smiled. A smile so genuine and pretty. Remus was so gorgeous when he smiled like that.

"Okay, take your time"

Sirius smiled as he placed his head on Remus' chest. He realized Remus' heart was as loud or worse than his. And he loved that.

"Can I lay here with you for a while?"

"What if James or Peter walk in?"

Sirius shrugged.

"I'll pretend to be drunk or something"

He actually couldn't care less right now.

Remus giggled.

"Okay, Padfoot"

Sirius smiled as he felt Remus touching his hair again.

It felt so nice to be taken care of, to feel loved, to feel this comfortable with someone. Sirius didn't only feel beautiful on the outside, sexualized, he also felt pretty on the inside as well. And that was ten times better.

Sirius was falling for Remus hard. And he was afraid to admit it just yet.