#because i do not want to travel an hour back to my sister's apartment just to pick up one (1) key

[apassingbird]

coming back to the mainland after four days out at the cabin feeling like i forgot how to be a functional human being

[marleemutt]

TLDR: im a black trans artist who can use some help right now following the sudden passing of my only sister - her doberman is now the responsibility of my parents and we can use help for his food, supplements, toys etc.

Kofi (help me send Chewy orders to my parent's house)

Wishlist (literally send him things like toys, treats, etc.)

⬇️ more info ⬇️

hey guys

some of you might be aware of this already, but early October, my eldest sibling & only sister suddenly passed away due to a seizure, she had been dealing with epilepsy her whole life.

this has been incredibly difficult for me, and my family. her passing was incredibly sudden, she was only 30.

for the past month or so ive been struggling to find any motivation to draw, and barely able to work.

she was the incredibly devoted owner of a doberman named Remi(Ramsey). Me and my sister traveled 4 hours to pick him up three years ago. He's a goofball who tears up socks and needs constant supervision. My parents love him, but I can tell he is a lot of work for two people who have fulltime jobs and have lived long lives.

I'm going to try to help them take care of him as much as possible, I feel that it's the least we can do to honor my sister's memory, since she loved him so deeply.

My sister always wanted a doberman, for years she would watch videos about dobermans and talk about them to anyone who would listen.

Remi wasn't easy to raise - I shared a room with my sister when she got him in 2020, she still worked a 9-5, five days a week, so I was his nanny for most of his difficult childhood. I was his chew toy for the first year of his life about - but that only made him bond closer to me. If he wasn't following my sister, I was choice #2. Dobermans are "velcro dogs", they were bred to guard their owners, and because of this, they are fiercely loyal. I've been moved out of my parent's place for going on 3 years, and my sister had just moved with Remi out a few months prior to her passing.

A week before my sister's sudden passing, we had to board Remi at my dog daycare job while my family and I took a trip out of state. When dropping him off, although he was happy to see me again for the first time in months, the moment my sister turned her back to him he began to panic. He got through the boarding all right but my coworkers told me he would cry and wait by the door for me or her. When my sister picked him up, they said he jumped all 80+lbs into her arms.

Since my sister's passing, Remi has been directionless. He's with my family, people he trusts, but he's bored, confused, and heartbroken. My sister would often take him to the dog park, social events, on runs, etc. but my parent's can't do that in their age. If my apartment allowed large dogs, I would take him, but I can't, and I see him maybe twice a month if possible.

Ramsey's Christmas List

I made a christmas list for him of things that might help my parents better take care of him. We're trying different food brands out because he struggles with frequent stomach issues, and we can't seem to figure out what food my sister was feeding him. This list is by no means a necessity for him, but I tried to add things to help with his boredom and keep him stimulated when my parents can't give him all their attention.

i do want to state that my family is capable of providing him with the essentials to live, we arent irresponsible. i would just like to help my parents out since a 3 year old 80-90lb doberman is a lot of work to be suddenly placed on them soley. And I worry for his health and well-being sometimes - Remi has a tendency to eat/tear random objects when he's bored.

please consider donating whatever you can. Everything goes directly to him.

thank you for taking the time to read this, and possibly reblog if possible. ❤️

[pink-sparkly-witch]

Just Like This

Summary: Working a second job in a bar to help pay for Sammy’s education, Dean finds a kindred spirit in bar manager Y/N. When a drunk Douchebag gets too handsy with her, Dean quickly jumps to her defence but faces harsh consequences.

Pairing: Bartender!Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Rating: Teen

Bingo Square: Getting Fired for @j3bingo

Warnings: tw: sexual assault (groping), fluff, angst, fighting, minor violence, Chuck is a complete and utter asshole in this, getting fired, quitting in solidarity, first kiss, friends to lovers

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Okay, it feels like an age since I’ve written anything that’s just pure floof. I hope you enjoy this fluffy, protective, besotted Dean fic. Please be kind. I’ve had my angst hat on for a long time, and though this was really refreshing, it’s also a little daunting!

My Masterlist     AO3    Ko-Fi

Consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite, or leave a comment. It really does fuel a creative’s muse. If you’re too shy or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖

It wasn’t the best job in the world, but as part-time work went, Dean knew it could be a hell of a lot worse than this. He worked with his dad in the garage during the day and worked four nights a week and two shifts at the weekend in Shurley’s Sports Bar. His wages and tips went to his dad to help pay for Sammy’s education. Sure, the kid had a full ride to Stanford; however, he still needed to pay for accommodation after freshman year and the thousands of books he needed for his coursework. And at least this way, his dad didn’t put himself in an early grave by working all the hours God gave him. Lord knows he’d done enough of that when they were kids.

Shurley’s was a decent bar. It had a prime location between the University of Kansas campus and downtown, so it always has a steady stream of customers. It quietened during the summer when the students went home or on their travels, but the locals still made trade steady enough. The owner, Chuck, was a bit of a dick, but he barely showed his face around the place, and the other staff were decent, making it a great place to work.

“Hey, Dean,” Y/N said as she came out of the back office. Y/N was the bar manager and a great girl. They had a lot in common; both lost their mothers when they were young and looked after their younger siblings while their fathers worked three jobs to try and make ends meet. Y/N’d had to drop out of college when her father took unexpectedly sick, having to take care of him and her little sister. Now that her father had passed and her sister had a full ride to another prestigious college, Harvard, Y/N lived in the tiny apartment above the bakery where she worked four days a week and in the bar four nights a week and every Saturday night. The rest of the time, she studied part-time to finish her college education and sent every spare cent she had to her sister in Boston.

“Hey, Y/N,” he smiled at her. She was pretty, too, and Dean wasn’t afraid to admit that he had a massive crush on her. Not that anything would ever happen because she was her, and he was… well, he wasn’t good enough for a girl like that. “How are ya, sweetheart?”

“I’m good, Dean. How are you? Oh! Did you manage to get Sam’s apartment sorted?” Y/N asked, and he smiled that she’d remember such a thing.

“Yeah, it’s all good now. We managed to get the rest of the deposit together,” Dean said. “Thanks for the extra shifts, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it,” Y/N smiled. “I still can’t believe landlords can actually do that,” Y/N shook her head as she headed behind the bar and started filling the refrigerators with bottles of beer and wine to prepare for the busy Friday night shift.

“Yeah, us either. But it’s done, and he has somewhere to live,” Dean said as he put the last menus and condiment buckets on the tables. “What needs to be done next, boss?” he asked, smirking when Y/N chuckled. She hated being called that, but he seemed to be the only one she didn’t scold for it.

“I could use a hand changing over the barrels if you’ve got time?” she said, breaking up the cardboard that the bottles had been housed in.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Dean headed into the storeroom and started shifting the beer barrels behind the bar as Y/N continued putting bottles in the fridges and replacing the almost empty spirit bottles with full ones to accommodate the busiest night of the year: Friday night football and Freshers Week.

The bar was packed with customers, the warm, sunny weather drawing even more of them in than usual, and of course, Chuck had decided tonight was a good night to show face and ‘help’, putting the staff on edge. Dean had gone with the head down and get on with it attitude, glad it was three deep at the bar so he had an excuse not to have to entertain Chuck for very long.

Y/N had been running around after Chuck all night, finding this paperwork and that invoice and the employee payroll for the past six weeks. Eventually, when he couldn’t possibly ask for anything more, she’d escaped the office, having brazenly told her boss that she was needed front of house to help serve customers.

“I swear,” she’d said as she tied her little black server’s apron around her waist, “It’s like he fucking knew tonight would be the busiest night but still came to check months old paperwork! God, that man is insufferable!”

It wasn’t often that Y/N showed her annoyance, and Dean couldn’t help but think it was cute. Though, admittedly, that could be his crush talking, her furrowed brow and tiny pout were adorable.

“What can I do to help?” he asked as she took her place behind the bar.

“I should be asking you that question!” she giggled. “What do you need me to do?”

“We could do with someone collecting and cleaning the empty glasses, if you wouldn’t mind?” he responded, smiling as she picked up a basket, cleaning spray, and a cloth before he’d finished his sentence.

“You got it,” she winked and headed onto the floor to clear and wipe the tables down. And that, Dean thought, is what makes a good boss. Someone who works with the team to achieve the same goal. Someone who isn’t afraid of stepping in to help by doing the most mundane tasks that are below their pay grade.

Y/N was a breath of fresh air for him in so many ways. She was bubbly and caring, and no matter what was thrown her way, she responded with an air of calmness and dignity that he admired.

“Hey, man. What can I get ya?” Dean asked the next patron, finally taking his eyes off the girl slowly taking over his every thought.

“Be careful,” Dean said as Y/N headed back onto the floor to clear more glasses and tables. “It’s getting rowdy out there. You know what those college boys can be like.”

“Thanks, Dean,” she smiled. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

He knew she would be. He’d seen her handling every kind of drunk customer. Still, he’d watch her closely because he was more worried than usual. The crowd tonight seemed even more enthused thanks to the local sports team playing. It still surprised him how often the female staff got touched inappropriately and had the most vulgar things said to them by too drunk and far too confident men. More than once Dean had had to step in and stop something from going too far, and he’d do it as many times as he needed to for Y/N or any of the other female staff.

Y/N managed to get around most of the bar unscathed, but there was a particularly boisterous table of men who only frequented the bar when the Chiefs played. Dean had been watching them all night because they seemed to have forgotten their age and tried to out-drink their much younger counterparts. They’d already run their mouths off to the bar staff, and now one of them in particular had their beady eye on Y/N as she moved from table to table, collecting empty glasses and bottles.

Swapping her tray out for an empty one, Y/N made her way over to their table, and the second she got close enough, the balding guy with the beady eye was quick to rear his hand back and smack her ass. Dean’s hackles rose, and he was on high alert as he watched her give the douchebag a piece of her mind. But he didn’t stop. Douchebag wrapped his arms around her waist and tried pulling her onto his lap. All the while, his douchebag little friends laughed and cheered him on like he’d won a fucking prize.

Dean saw red as he ran around the bar and strode purposely over to the group of middle-aged men amid a mid-life crisis and pulled Y/N from his hold, dragging her behind him to protect her.

“The lady told you to leave her alone. I suggest you do that,” Dean fumed, only getting angrier at Douchebag’s smirk.

“Oh, ladies and gentlemen, we have a jealous boyfriend trying to protect his girl! You know, if she were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t let her out the house wearing something so…” he paused as he leered up and down Y/N’s body, “revealing.”

“Listen, asshole, you don’t want to piss me off right now. Why don’t you and your buddies call it a night and go home? You’ve clearly had too much to drink, and we don’t take kindly to people assaulting our staff here,” Dean’s jaw was clenched, but he’d somehow managed to keep his voice steady.

“Sorry, man,” Douchebag smirked as he stood. “Just can’t help myself when I see a pretty girl showing off half her body like a Goddamn little tease. She’s asking for it, really.”

That was the last straw, and as Douchebag made one final (and unfortunately successful) attempt to get his hands on Y/N, Dean pulled his fist back and punched him square on the nose. The resounding crack as Dean broke the guy’s nose was satisfying, as were the synchronised grimacing ‘oohs’ that the audience this little corner of the bar had attracted.

“You broke my nose, asshole!” Douchebag spluttered. “I’m reporting you for assault!”

“You do that,” Y/N said, “and I’ll have you arrested, too. This whole bar and the CCTV saw you grope me twice and clearly saw me trying to get you off me! What he did,” she pointed at Dean, “was save me from being sexually assaulted!”

“Come on, man,” one of Douchebag’s friends said, patting him on the back. “Let’s get you to the hospital. It’s not worth it.”

“Damn straight it’s not!” Dean yelled. “Any way you spin this, he doesn’t win, so get the hell out and don’t come back!”

Tail between their legs, Douchebag and his friends left the bar. The second the door shut behind them, Dean was next to Y/N, checking her for injuries.

“I’m fine, Dean,” she insisted, but her eyes told a different story. The encounter had shaken her up, and Dean wanted to fix it, needed to fix it.

“No, sweetheart, you’re not. You’re–” Dean began but was interrupted by the shrill voice of Chuck.

“Winchester, my office, now! You too, Y/N.”

Seeing Y/N sitting beside him on the other side of the desk was strange. This was where she did all the paperwork, payroll, ordering, and invoicing, so to see Chuck on her chair was disconcerting. And not good.

“I don’t know what was going on out there–” Chuck began, and Dean scoffed in disbelief.

“You’re bar manager was sexually assaulted by a customer. That’s what happened!” Dean sat forward on his chair, raising his voice. He only calmed when Y/N placed her hand on his forearm.

Chuck pursed his lips at his outburst and continued speaking as if Dean hadn’t interrupted.

“I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, sexual assault or not,” Chuck looked pointedly at Y/N before he continued. “It’s no excuse for my staff to behave violently.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Dean fumed. “That… scumbag… touched her ass and her breasts and tried to force her into his lap! You see those bruises, right?” he asked as he pointed to the dark purple fingerprint marks on her arms.

“Inappropriate comments, slurs, even touching, is to be expected when you work in a bar–” Chuck was interrupted again, this time by Y/N.

“There are no touching policies in every strip club in the country for a reason, Chuck! You cannot expect it to be any different in a fratboy sports bar! No one should go to work expecting that being sexually assaulted is okay!”

“For God’s sake, Y/N! So what a guy touched your ass and tits! You should be flattered!”

“It was sexual assault, Chuck! That guy,” Y/N pointed behind her in the general direction of the bar, “touched me without permission, and I could have him charged! You too with how you’re behaving!”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic! I feel sorry for your boyfriend if this is how prudish you are!”

“Hey, that is–” Dean interjected, but Chuck kept talking.

“Dean, you’re fired. I cannot, and will not, allow a violent brute to work in my bar.”

“You can’t do that!” Y/N protested.

“Watch it, or you’ll be gone, too!” Chuck threatened, but Dean knew it was an empty one with her. He needed her too much. The bar would burn to the ground without her in charge.

“No need. I quit. Effective immediately. I cannot, and will not,” Y/N glared at Chuck as she repeated his words to him, “work in a place where I’m expected to be sexually harassed and assaulted and ignore it. I cannot, and will not, work for a man who fires a good person for helping someone in need.”

Standing, Y/N took off her apron and name tag and threw them on the desk. She unhooked the keys from her belt and pulled the cash box towards her, opening it and pulling out two brown envelopes, handing one to Dean and putting the other in her pocket. Once she’d locked the cash box, she tossed her keys down on the cheap metal desk with a satisfying clang.

“Really? You’re going to quit over him?” Chuck scoffed.

“Yes. Dean is worth a thousand shitty bar jobs like this one, and I’d choose him over any of them in a heartbeat,” Y/N said with her head held high. “I hope you know you’ve just lost your two best workers on the busiest night of the year. Come on, Dean. Let’s get out of this shithole.”

Dean didn’t protest. He stood up, smirked at Chuck because he just couldn’t help himself, and followed Y/N out of the bar and onto the street.

“Sweetheart, you didn’t need to do that. I’m a big boy, and I can look after myself,” Dean said after walking in silence for a few minutes.

“I know you can, and yes, I did. That was unfair and undeserved. Especially because it was my fault,” Y/N responded.

“Hey, don’t ever… it wasn’t your fault. Things like that are never the woman’s fault, you know that, right?” Dean couldn’t believe she’d ever think something like that would be her own doing.

“I know, but if I’d listened to you and let Marcus clear tables instead of me, none of this would’ve happened.”

“No. I won’t hear it. You didn’t ask to be groped by a balding douchebag going through a mid-life crisis, sweetheart. Don’t ever apologise for someone else’s wrongdoing,” he reassured her.

“So, what do we do now? We both kinda needed that job,” Y/N chuckled, but it held no humour.

“Well, I might know a guy who owns a wine bar downtown. A classy establishment, so the tips are better. And we’d be treated right,” Dean said, thinking of the bar Cas had tried to get him to work in for months.

“You have a buddy with a bar, and you chose to stay working in that shithole?” Y/N asked in disbelief. “Why? What would possess you to stay there? Willingly?”

“It wasn’t all bad,” Dean smirked. This wasn’t where he envisioned this conversation going–if it ever happened at all, that is–but the perfect opportunity had presented itself and he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t take it. “I got to see you almost every day.”

“Come on! You did not stay there for me!” Y/N scoffed, and Dean shrugged his shoulders, his lips tugging upwards in a shy smile.

“I did, actually. Can’t think of anyone better to spend so much time with.”

“Dean Winchester,” she grinned. “Are you flirting with me?” The teasing tone in her words was one he’d never heard before, and he liked it.

“Do you want me to be flirting with you?” he’d asked, needing to hear her say it before he did something stupid because he’d misread the signals.

“Yeah… I think I do,” Y/N giggled, stepping closer to him, bumping their arms together as they stepped in sync down the sidewalk.

“Yeah?” he asked, checking again because, quite frankly, she was her and he was him.

“Yeah.”

Dean stopped walking and gently grabbed her forearm to stop her from walking ahead. Feeling brave, Dean placed his hands on her cheeks and dipped his head, slowly lowering his lips to hers. Every inch closer he got, he switched his gaze between her lips and her eyes, making sure this was what she wanted.

When there was no hesitation and nowhere else to go, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers. They were as soft as they always looked, softer even, and tasted as sweet as he’d imagined they would.

Y/N pressed herself closer to him with a low hum and slid her arms up his chest, resting one hand on his pec and the other curling around his neck. Dean licked her bottom lip, encouraging her to open her mouth and let him deepen their kiss.

He failed to hold back a groan when his tongue met hers, the feeling so much better than anything his mind could’ve conjured up. Dean couldn’t remember how long he’d wanted this, and now that it was happening, he knew he’d do whatever he could to keep her in his arms, just like this.

Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[mvltisstuff]

What about a fic where reader is Evan’s sister and gets into a bad car accident? Lots of angst but also some fluff please. 🫶🫶

slipping through my fingers - e.b

summary: request :)

evan buckley x sister!reader (a lot of maddie too 🩶)

a/n: i have an eddie diaz oneshot in the drafts currently that i’ve been debating on posting. it contains a pretty sensitive subject, so i really wanted to get it right. it was inspired by another request, along with another show. i hope you enjoy this and i’ll keep on writing some more for you guys :))

y/n could say growing up with as the youngest buckley wasn’t the easiest task. the consistency of begging for attention was draining from the start. going above and beyond for just a grain of appreciation was the default in their house. she was repeatedly looked through, almost as if she wasn’t there due to her parents grief.

she had come after buck in a desperate attempt to be able to save david, but failed in the end. he was gone too soon, so therefore, y/n was almost like a chore. sure, her parents loved her, but she wasn’t the child they wanted. dealing with the discovery of why she wasn’t loved enough was just as bad as experiencing it. maddie was in boston with doug, and buck had gone onto his own adventures. meanwhile y/n was stuck at home with nowhere to go and no plans of leaving. she dreamed about it, though. she heard about buck moving to los angeles and immediately wanted to be with him. she was almost done with college, and after that, she packed up her diploma and degree and flew away.

life in california was amazing. she had friends, she was loved, and she had no reminders of the lonesomeness she felt at home. for once, she was able to make a home out of where she was. maddie was safe, and it felt like they were a fixed version of their family.

out of the pure intentions in her heart, y/n invited her distant parents back to LA. with maddie expecting a new baby, and the years of a few texts, there was a new hope that maybe things could be turned around. it wouldn’t change their childhood experiences, but maybe they could heal them. maddie was on board, but buck was still skeptical. their words were like knives and the scars couldn’t be helped. he showed up anyway, wanting to give maddie and her baby the opportunity to have a life with them.

they travelled six hours, and chimney and maddie were gracious enough to host a dinner for everyone. maddie received hugs and gifts as buck and y/n were kind of nudged away. when maddie got her baby box that her parents had from when they were kids, buck and y/n had just become dusty figures. they didn’t say anything, at least not about that.

an explosive speech from buck had ignited from the judgmental words from their parents, causing him to be begging for love and expressing his inner teenage self. he had removed himself from the dining room of the apartment, and y/n sat in her seat, slumped over with her head in her hands.

“god, can you guys please just do something other than reprimand us?” y/n breaks the awkward silence.

“we were just speaking, y/n!” says their father. “if evan wants to storm out, let him.”

“well, maybe he wouldn’t have stormed out if you didn’t nit-pick ever part of his life.”

“you invited us, y/n. i don’t know what you want us to say. you know what we went through-“

“and you think that’s an excuse? if so, it’s a shitty one and we all know it. no parent should have to say goodbye to a child, but no child needs to go unloved because they don’t care anymore. and you didn’t even bat an eye when he begged you to ‘love him anyway’. so if you want to sit here, and tear down everything we have build from your actions, be our guest.”

“you always defend your siblings, y/n. you guys have never once put yourself in our shoes!” their mother cries out.

“oh, trust me, we did. for over 20 years,” maddie breaks in.

“how do you think we feel, maddie? you all just packed up your stuff and ran away to leave us with nothing,” speaks their father, again.

“dad, i can’t… i can’t do this. everything i did, i did it myself. i made this life here for myself! so did maddie, so did buck. don’t go putting yourselves on a pedestal,” she begins to gather her things, and put hers and bucks dinner plates away for maddie and chimney.

“where are you going?” chimney says, trying to calm everything down and he’s definitely in the most awkward situation.

“chim, thank you for dinner and letting us come over. you’re welcome over to my place anytime. i’m sorry, but i’m going to see my brother,” y/n says, shutting the door behind her.

while maddie stays back, trying to pick up the broken pieces, y/n drives over to bucks apartment. she repeatedly calls him, making sure he’s okay and to say that she’s coming over. the roads were dark from the early sunsets of the fall, barely illuminated from the streetlights.

“buck,” she says into her phone. “i know you’re pissed off, and im sorry i arranged this. but i need to know you’re ok, so im on my way over. please call me back.”

she ends the voicemail and tries to put her phone back into the holder. it slips out of her shaky hands and onto the floor of the seat. she groans out, worried he would call her back and she wouldn’t be able to answer. she doesn’t reach down, but she looks at the phone on the floor.

a drunk, someone intoxicated with alcohol, must have been driving like a maniac. swerving through lanes with no warning and passing several signs. she tried so hard. she tried to move out of the way, but the spontaneous movements of the driver had confronted their cars head on.

the flash of white from y/n’s airbags flew out at her. the glass of her windshield was shattered, laying all over the dashboard and the seats. her head drooped onto her shoulder. the cuts on her face were stinging and the other pain in her body went unnoticeable due to shock. the soft ringtone of her phone was vibrating on the bottom of the car. the ringing in her ears caused the sound to be faded out, and she couldn’t even get it to call 9-1-1.

“maddie, hey,” buck says as maddie picks up the phone. “have you, uh, tried calling y/n? she left me so many calls and now she won’t answer.”

“no, i haven’t. she said she was coming to see you,” maddie replies, confused.

“where’s mom and dad?”

“the hotel, they left soon after her.”

buck pulls his phone away from his ear and the buzzing on his hand. y/n’s name appears across the screen. “oh, she’s calling me know,” he hangs up the phone and answers it to a bone-chilling sentence.

“is this evan buckley?” a deep, unknown voice asks in bucks ear.

y/n was awake in the ambulance, hearing all the chaos and jargon around her. she knew she’d never hear the end from buck, being a firefighter. she begged them to let him know, telling them repeatedly, “my brother works at the 118,” and how maddie is a dispatcher.

she was wheeled into the hospital on her stretcher, collar on and a big bandage around her waist for a massive piece of glass in her abdomen. “y/n buckley, 27, three-car pileup with an oblique fracture to the tibia and penetration wound to the abdomen, likely to not have hit any major organs.” and before she knew it, she was sped into the trauma rooms and given more morphine. she just wanted her brother and sister. not all these doctors or her parents.

buck picked up maddie on the way to the hospital, not thinking twice before smashing the gas pedal down. he ran through those doors like a strike of lighting, being seen in one place and somewhere else the next. he forced her name out to the nurse as maddie caught up to him. “relation to the patient?”

“brother, and sister,” he says, impatiently, both hands flat on the counter.

the nurse typed rapidly on her computer. “she’s in surgery, honey. but she’s stable.”

buck puffs out a sigh of relief as maddie grabs his arm, leading him to the waiting room. almost all of the 118 was in this hospital, like she was a firefighter herself. chimney had brought hen, and eddie had come as well as bobby. athena had told bobby, as she was the one who arrested the man who caused the crash.

buck tries to calm himself down remembers all the times he tried to one-up her and smiles at the memories. he and maddie exchange small and sweet memories of their little sister, as her life remains in the hands of someone else.

“hey,” maddie nudges him, trying to think of something to cheer him up. “remember when she stole 20’s out of our wallet to buy us christmas gifts?”

buck giggles a bit, “yeah, and then we tried playing tag, so we spun her around a ton of times and hid inside until she just sat there.”

“and then she fell down the stairs from being so dizzy,” maddie smiles.

“ruthless!” chim interrupts, sitting next to maddie.

“you know you two are what made it so hard to leave.”

“i know. imagine having to leave her all alone with mom and dad, though. she’s gotta be ok, maddie.”

“she will, buck. no one’s getting rid of her that easy.”

the doctor with a scrub cap on comes walking into the waiting room, followed by a few interns and others. “buckleys?”

maddie and buck shoot out of their seat first, and chimney and hen follow soon after like a train. “oh, my bad.” hen says, pulling her and chim back down to sit.

“what’s goin’ on, doc?”

“y/n will be fine. she had a fracture in her leg which we fixed up. she’ll need some help getting around, but she’ll be good as new,” the doctor informs.

they knew she would make it out, but hearing it being confirmed by the doctor made it so much more real. buck was speechless, not being able to mutter out any words. “can we see her?” maddie asks.

“you can, she’s still sedated from anesthesia and intubated, but cynthia, here, can lead you to the room.”

seeing y/n’s fragile and hurt body on the bed was an agonizing sight. maybe if buck hadn’t stormed out, she wouldn’t be in this bed and have come across that driver. maybe he could’ve driven her home. all the ‘if’s’ and ‘maybes’ in bucks head were floating through, thinking it’s his fault. he always takes the blame for these situations when it is completely the opposite.

buck sees tragedy every day, and maddie hears it. maddies only sister was in the small hospital room with a tube down her throat. she needed y/n there to help her, and her baby needed her aunt. buck needed his little sister, the one always there for him and forever will be. the thought of her not being there scared him to death. even though they see get rushed into the hospital or sent to the morgue every day, it will never prepare you from seeing your favorite people in that position.

buck stumbled over to the chair by the side of the bed, pulling it out for maddie to rest her aching feet. he walked to the other side of the bed, sitting down and grabbing lightly onto y/n’s hand like he was scared to break it. “i don’t know if we should say something. let her know we’re here, you know.”

“she knows, evan,” maddie says, meeting bucks eyes with her own. “i know that.”

buck smiles and looks down at y/n, her chest rising and falling with the hissing of the tubes and machines. he observes the iv’s and cuts and fresh new bruises. he wants to kill whoever did this, but at the moment, his only concern is the well-being of y/n.

so, for the rest of the night, maddie and buck didn’t move from their spots once until she was awoken and the tube was removed. they held her hand, and when y/n was awoken, she knew she was safe from the hands that were tangled with hers.

[outsideratheart]

Cliche (Leila Ouahabi x Leon!reader)

A/N: Based off this request. I hope you guys like it and that I didn't drag it on too long.

The Leon sister's have a reputation in the women's football world but you never lied and always made your motives crystal clear. You had the rest of your lives to settle down and you planned on doing just that when you retired or got older but in the meantime you needed to find a way to relief the stress and pressure that comes with being one of the best footballer in the world and you favourite way to do so is by burying yourself in someone else.

You are fully aware that it was a cliche to sleep with your sister's best friend but when it came to Leila Ouahabi it's as if all logic goes out the window. It was never a part of your plan to mix business with pleasure especially when that business is also your sister's business but one night you and the girls were out celebrating, Mapi found herself distracted and you spent the night with Leila.

At first it only happened on nights out with the team but now you found yourself laid in bed on a random Tuesday morning, the brunette sleeping peacefully in your arms. The no sleeping over rule lasted a month not that you would complain. It was your idea but these moments with Leila had become one of your favourites.

"I broke the rule again" Leila's voice is raspy.

She squints slightly as the sun shines in her eyes but her face relaxes when you move your hand, which up until this point was playing with the loose strands of hair, and shield her from the sun.

"You seem to be doing it a lot recently. In fact I can't remember the last time you followed that rule"

Out of habit Leila begins playing with your necklace but her hand soon begins to travel lower, she gives you a knowing look as she plays with the waistband of your underwear. Whilst she herself hated to be teased, she had no issue being the teaser. No you wasn't opposed to morning sex but you had training in a couple of hours and you couldn't turn up less than 100% so you do the thing you body didn't want you to do, you grab Leila's hand and move it back to lay on your chest.

"We don't have time for that Leila"

You might have well be talking german because instead of backing down Leila hovers over you before straddling your hips.

"Are you sure about that?" The smirk on her face making it obvious that she knows the answer regardless of what might come out of your mouth next.

When her lips crash into yours you make no attempt at stopping or pushing her away. Instead you do the opposite, you deepen the kiss and in one swift movement you change the dynamics so it is now you who is on top of her.

The moment is short lived when you hear your apartment door open and your sister shout out.

"Y/N I know I'm early but I brought coffee"

This couldn't be happening. You knew she would find out eventually and you had a plan for that, one that included you in far more clothes. You were beginning to panic, a feeling that wasn't quite reciprocated when you looked down at Leila who is on the verge of laughing.

"Don't" you place your hand over her mouth.

"Y/N" Mapi sings. You can tell by the loudness of her voice that she is heading for your bedroom.

You have to think fast. You quickly strip yourself of the little clothing you have on and grab a towel which is in the laundry basket.

"Hide. Now" it wasn't question or suggestion, it was an order.

Leila tries to argue but the look you give her let's her know that nothing will make you change your mind.

She hides down the side of the bed furtherest away from the door and just in time as Mapi knocks before coming in anyways.

"I was in the shower. It's interesting to see what you class as an emergency" you tell your sister who clearly has no idea what you're talking about "the key? I gave it to you for emergencies only. Abuse the power again and I will take it off you, you know how I am about my space"

"Fine. Hurry up and get ready, your coffee's getting cold"

Once the door is closed Leila stands up wearing nothing but your bed sheet.

"I won't do that again" she says as she watched you get dressed in your training gear.

"Fine" you whisper shout "you go out there and tell your best friend that you have been fucking her sister behind her back. You wanted to keep this a secret just as much as me so don't stand there and act innocent"

Leila is taken aback at the way you described what had been going on between the two of you.

"I have spare training gear in the wardrobe. Make yourself some breakfast, you know where everything is, I will see you at training"

You kiss her quickly and you are slightly disappointed when you doesn't respond.

"Leila" her head snaps in your direction hoping to hear something a little more reassuring.

"Be careful when you pick something to wear, nothing with my number on it"

You say nothing more and within a matter of minutes Leila hears you and Mapi leave your apartment.

"No feelings Leila, it's what you agreed" She mutters to herself as she lays back on your bed.

There was a tension between the two of you at training but it seems obvious to only you and Leila or so you thought. The training was split into position drills so you wasn't working directing with her but it didn't stop your captain from noticing the lingering looks to the group of defenders. It is when you, Mapi and Alexia go to practice freekicks does she bring it up.

"Is everything ok?" Alexia whispers as you both watch Mapi practice her shot.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" there's no way she knew and you weren't about to give her any clues.

"No reason" Alexia replies and you think it is the end of the conversation only it isn't "Nothing's going on in your love life or should I say sex life?"

Alexia knew, you wasn't sure how she knew but she did.

"Her sex life" Mapi wraps her arm around you shoulder "There's always something happening"

"It must be a Leon twin thing because I recall your body count been just as high as mine" you push her off you as you go to place your ball outside the box.

"Is that anyway to talk to your older sister" Mapi shouts.

"7 minutes Maria, you are 7 minutes older than me"

You rejoin the team during a drinks breaks. Leila looks at you for a second before turning her back, the action itself hurt but you couldn't bring yourself to ask why.

"You like her" Alexia continues her questioning "I can tell. What's her name?"

"Leila!" Patri shouts.

The sound of her name coming straight after Alexia's question causes you to choke on your drink and the connection isn't lost on your captain.

"You're sleeping with Leila! Are you crazy? That's your sister's best friend"

You knew Alexia would be disappointed in you. She had made her feelings towards your night time activities very clear but this was too much even for you.

Before Alexia can say anything else you pull her off the pitch and into the tunnel.

"Nobody knows" you see her eyes dart in your sister's direction "no, Mapi doesn't know and I want it to stay that way"

"How long?"

"Almost a year" you couldn't believe it had been that long and neither could Alexia.

You make a point not to get involved with anyone for long periods of time because it's gets complicated. The longest you had ever slept with someone is when you started seeing a player from the german league but even then you slept with other people in between.

"And have you been sleeping with anyone else during this time?" Alexia asks. She knew that you had trouble connecting with your feelings and if you did feel something more then you more need a little bit of encouragement to figure it out.

"Have you every thought about it being something more than sex?"

This is why you didn't want people knowing. The more people that knew the more pressure you would feel to put a label on whatever is going in between you and Leila.

"No. When we started sleeping together we both agreed that it would be a no strings attached type of thing, no feelings were to be involved"

"Y/N have you —“

"Alexia. It is sex and that's it. There is no relationship between me and Leila outside of the bedroom"

It was a difficult thing for you to say because whilst it was true at first you knew that things had changed over the past couple of months. You didn't want to break your end of the deal so you kept your feelings to yourself so that you could still spend your nights with Leila.

"Sorry to interrupt"

You hadn't heard her voice since you left your apartment this morning.

"Coach told me to come and get you. It's time for the scrimmage and you two are captains"

At first Leila couldn't look you in the eyes but when she did you saw something that make your heart break. Tears brimmed her eyes and you knew it was because of the conversation you had been having with Alexia only you wasn't sure how much she had heard.

"Alexia knows"

"Can we tell Mapi now?"

It wasn't a question you expected. As far as you were aware Leila want this to be a secret just as much as you did.

"No, we can't"

Alexia has excused herself at this point so that the two of you can talk in private.

"Right because this is just sex. We have no relationship outside of the bedroom"

She attempts to walk away but you grab her hand with a pleading look in your eyes. You know you said those words but they sounded so heartless coming out of her mouth.

"I need space. I think it's best if I go to my apartment tonight"

"Ok. I will come by after my media appearance"

"No Y/N" She pulls her hand away "I think I need to spent the night alone night"

Something wasn't right. Was she breaking up with you? No, she couldn't do that because you were never dating. Still as you watch her walk away you cannot help but feel like you are losing something you never had.

Your nights apart lasted less than a week and soon enough you and Leila was back into your old ways but something was different. She would spend the night but wouldn't stay in the mornings and she kept bringing up telling Mapi, something that you wasn't ready for.

Leila had reached her breaking point after almost been caught by Mapi again. You made her hide and once again she felt little a dirty little secret. She had a choice to make; keep the secret and keep you but lose her best friend or she could tell Mapi and inevitably lose you.

The following week Mapi came storming into the locker room one morning with Leila trailing behind her. At first you wasn't sure what had happened but then you saw Leila's face and you knew. Leila went against your wishes and had told Mapi about the two of you.

"I can't believe you!"

"Not here, not now" you reply calmly hoping your sister would mimic your energy.

"Why? What you've done affects this entire team and I won’t allow it"

The way she said what you've done as if you were in this alone. Leila who you hoped would have your back stands cowardly in her locker.

“You can’t stop me and it hasn't affected the team, you had no idea about us. I'm guessing the only reason why you do is because she told you" you don't say her name nor do you look in her direction.

"What's going on?" Alexia asks as she enters the locker room upon hearing the both of you raising your voices.

"Tell her Y/N"

You know what you are about to say is going to hurt but why should you care for your sister's feelings when it is clear she doesn't care for yours.

Alexia glances back and forth between the two of you then she looks at Leila and she knows what had happened.

"She doesn't have to tell me. I already know"

"Know what?" Jenni asks. She can tell by the reaction of the team that she isn't the only one that feels left in the dark about whatever it is that's going on.

“That my dear sister has been sleeping with my best friend” Mapi points from you to Leila, just for clarification.

“And what is wrong with that?” You may not have told your sister or the rest of the team for that matter but you didn’t do anything wrong and you wasn’t ashamed of the time you shared with Leila.

“You can’t just sleep with whoever you want” Mapi scold you “I have seen you when we travel for the champions league. You sleep with our opponents. You can’t—“

“I can’t what? Come home and sleep with the Spanish league. No I can’t because they have already have their taste of one Leon. You used to be just like me”

“She is my friend and our team mate”

You couldn’t help but laugh. Surely Mapi heard the hypocrisy in what she was saying. You looked towards Ana, your eyes filled with apology for what you are about to say.

“Hmm where shall I start” you walk towards your sister.

“Y/N don’t” Alexia tries to drag you back out fails.

“No, no. She started this” you turn your attention from your captain to your sister “friend and team mate, where shall I start. Alba is a good friend of mine and you slept with her. V is one of my best friend and you slept with her. Then we have Ana who is one of my closest friends on this team, you broke her heart, messed up the team dynamics and you are making her watch you be with someone else which brings me to my last person, Ingrid, who I have no problem with in fact I like her and think she’s good you. What I’m saying is you sit there on you fucking high horse speaking down to me like I’ve committed some kind of crime” you angrily wipe the few tears that have fallen down your cheeks.

“And you” you turn to Leila “you told her when you knew how I felt. Did you ever stop to think why I wanted this to say between us? Why things have been so different with you? I changed every single one of my beliefs for you and for what? You proved why I don't do relationships. I don’t know what you gained from this but it certainly isn’t me. You once asked for space, congratulations you have it. Whatever we had is over, I’m done, we’re done”

Leila was in shock. Was this your way of admitting you wanted a relationship with her.

“Was that so hard?” Mapi says smugly.

“Shut up Maria. Me and Leila may be done but we’re done too. You’re suppose to be my sister and I didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. I want nothing to do with either of you”

You didn’t turn up to training the next day and missed recovery the day after that. It seemed like the whole team was worried about you but the calmness that radiated off your coach and captain let them know that you were ok and the two of them knew where you were.

“I have heard you speaking about Y/N and her whereabouts. I have decided to rest her for Saturdays game and after I told her she asked for a few days off which I think she’s deserved given that she has played the most minutes this season. It will be business as usual after international break.” Jona and the coaching staff leave the meeting room unaware of the interrogation they are passing on to the team’s captain.

As soon as the staff are out the room everyone begins asking questions about you.

“Enough!” Alexia slams her hands down on the table. She had enough of the questions and the other players pointing the finger at Leila and Mapi for your absence. She agreed with the rest of the girls but as the captain she had to remain neutral.

“Go home, enjoy international break and I’ll see you back here in 10 days time” they knew better than to argue with their captain so they do as their told “not you two”

Names aren’t required. It is obvious which two Alexia is referring to.

“I wanted to wait a couple of days for things to calm down but when Y/N called me telling me she needed to getaway for a few days I knew the chances of this resolving naturally wouldn’t happen”

Both Mapi and Leila sit down. The situation had escalation quickly and they knew that they had messed up. Leila regretted telling your sister and Mapi let her her emotions get the better of her.

“I’m going to talk now and you two are going to listen”

When Alexia got no arguments from the pair she continued.

“Y/N was right when she spoke about your history Mapi. Amongst the names Y/N gave the other day was my sister’s. I know she is part of our group but Alba is still my little sister, she is someone you slept with and then dropped when you got bored. Y/N is the reason why I didn’t come to your house the night I came home to Alba crying in your sister’s arms. Even when she knew you were in the wrong, Y/N had your back”

The was news to Mapi. She thought Alexia understood her sister was a big girl who could make her own decisions and as she has the thought she realises, once again, just how hypocritical she was.

“But she didn’t tell me about this. We tell each other everything” This is the reason for Mapi’s reaction. It might not have come across this way but she was hurt that you didn’t tell her about this.

“There is reason why she didn’t tell you but it isn’t for me to say. Y/N has to come to that realisation herself” Alexia is vague in her response, leaving the two defenders rather confused.

“She was ashamed” Leila says the only answer that makes sense.

It wasn’t a easy decision to tell Mapi about the two of you sleeping together but she thought that once it was out there then the two of you could have a chance at something more.

“That isn’t true and it’s not fair for you to put this on her. She told me you had been sleeping together for a year and in that time you never told Mapi about it yet it’s Y/N who is getting the blame for this when you played just as big of a part”

“A year?” Mapi asks making to obvious that Leila left that detail out when she told her about to two of you.

“A full year and in that time Y/N didn’t sleep with anyone else, it was only you Leila”

“You’re lying. Y/N doesn’t do that type of commitment” Mapi knew how you thought because she had the same rule for years.

“She told me herself. I know it may not seem like it but she cared for you Leila and she showed you in her own way”

“Back to backs” Leila whispers.

“What did you say?” Mapi asks.

“You know her rules” your sister nods “one of them was no back to back stays but I have done that a few times”

It's like puzzle pieces were connecting in her head. You had let her get closer to you than anyone else but Leila was blinded by being a secret and she didn’t notice it.

“I might have overreacted” Mapi admits “It’s jus she’s my sister and I don’t want her making the same mistakes I did. She was right when she spoke about Ana, I guess I didn’t want her to face the same fate I did”

“I think you both owe her an apology” Alexia tells the pair “and before you ask, I won’t tell you where she is. She might have taken this break to be away from the two of you but Jona was right she needed some time away from Barcelona to rest. You’ll see her at camp on Sunday.”

You spent a few days in Madrid and it was just what you needed. It was peaceful and your friends had no idea about what happened in Barcelona. When V found out you were in the capital she said you were with her, no arguments. You spent the day training at a nearby pitch and the nights with V, Lola and Carmen. You may have ran away from your problems but you needed this time to be Y/N the person not the football player, sister of Mapi Leon and the person who had been sleeping with her team mate.

With every day that passes you know that you are one day closer to having to face your Barcelona team mates and truth is you wasn’t ready. When you arrived at Los Rojas you stay close to the Lola but you knew that you couldn’t avoid your friends for long.

It was only Alexia that knew where you had been so when she arrives at the facility she goes straight to Lola.

“Where’s Y/N?” Alexia asks the goalkeeper.

“Hi Alexia. I’m ok, thanks for asking” Lola moves on from her captain as she greets the rest of the Barcelona girls.

“You look like shit” she says when she sees Leila “almost as bad as Y/N”

“Y/N?” Leila asks but then it makes sense, you had gone to Madrid.

“She told me not to say anything” Lola continues “but between us me, V and Carmen have a bet on what happened. My bet is that one of the women she slept with is giving her grief so she ran away. It was bound to happen at some point, right?”

“Watch it Lola. That’s my sisters you’re talking about” Mapi comes to your defence.

“Oh please Maria, don’t start being nice now. We all know how you see me”

All heads turn in the direction of your voice. Lola had been telling the truth, you didn’t look good at all. The dark circles in your eyes was barely visible but they were there. You hug Alexia, Jenni, Irene and the rest of your team mates but purposely miss out Leila and Mapi.

Leila couldn’t help but stare. You had your shorts rolled up in typical Leon fashion and the training vest you were wearing hugged your body perfectly. When she met your eyes, she recognised the look but when you noticed it you changed your expression. It may have only lasted a second but it gave Leila hope that you forgiving her was still possible.

“Can we talk?” Leila asks you.

“Maybe later? I’m about to work—“

“C’mon Y/N you can’t keep me waiting. You know I’m not very patient” Marta Cardona shouts from across the lobby.

There way something in the way she said it that caused your sister to shake her head in disappointment. It was no secret you and Marta have history that includes sleeping together multiple times.

“Are they sleeping together again?” Alexia asks. She didn’t want to believe that you would fall back into old ways but it didn’t look good.

“I told you” Mapi mumbles "She never cared for Leila, it was just a game"

“I don’t know. V thinks that she is”

“V?” Alexia asks.

“Yeah that’s her bet. Carmen things that Y/N got her heartbroken but that’s ridiculous. We all know Y/N doesn’t let herself get close enough to anyone for that to happen”

Alexia, Leila and Mapi all share a look. They never though of that possibility.

“Like I said, that’s ridiculous and even if it is true Y/N requested to room with Marta so give them a couple of nights and Y/N will soon forget about this woman who may or may not exist”

Leila scoffs and walks away. Had you really moved on from whatever the two of you shared and were you really sleeping with Marta so soon after you were sleeping with her. She had so many questions but right now she didn’t want to see you, a mixture of anger towards your behaviour and fear of what would be said.

It comes as no surprise to the defender to find you and Atletico Madrid forward sat together at the team meal. She watches in envy as the two of you interact with such ease, the interaction makes Leila feel sick.

“We don’t know if they are sleeping together” Alexia whispers in the defender’s ear.

“Look at them Ale. We’ve seen Y/N like this before, you can’t defend her this time” in that moment Leila felt defeated and the hope that she felt a few hours prior has died.

Meanwhile across the room you hear Marta talking but it just noise. You mind isn’t focused on her, it is consumed with thoughts about what will happen in the next few days. Yes, Mapi has hurt you but it failed in comparison to Leila betraying you. You were willing to break your rules for her, heck you were willing to throw out the entire book but that didn’t matter now.

“She is staring” Marta nudges you.

Sure enough when you turn around you see Leila looking your way. She says something to Mapi who shakes her head and refuses to look your way. You didn’t know what to do, part of you missed Leila and despite your best efforts to forget about her, it just wasn’t possible. It was frustrating that even when you were mad at her you still wanted to know if she was ok.

Then you remember Leila wanted to talk to you when she arrived at Los Rojas. Maybe now was the right time to find out where things stand between the two of you. Your hands grew sweaty with each step you took towards her and the nervous feeling in your gut wasn’t like anything you have experienced before.

“Do you still want to talk?” The confidence that normally lines your tone is nowhere to be heard.

“I’m surprised you pulled yourself away from your girlfriend, oh wait she isn’t your girlfriend she is just the person you are fucking” Mapi retorts from her seat, still not looking you in the eye.

“Do you think I’m sleeping with her?”

“Of cour—“

“I couldn’t care less about what you think Maria, I was talking to Leila”

Now all eyes were on the defender, waiting for her to respond.

The fact that Leila had to think about it gave you your answer. It hurt that she thought this low of you.

“You look cosy together” Leila says. It didn’t answer your question but it did tell you which way she was swaying.

“She’s a friend, who yes I have slept with but that was a long time ago. Leila please can we talk?” You ask her again. There was so much you wanted to say but you didn’t want a crowd of people watching.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We should focus on the games we have coming up”

The drop in your demeanour wasn’t something that you can hide. This why you left Barcelona, Leila couldn’t hurt you in Madrid but that didn’t last long.

“I did nothing wrong” It was almost a plea.

The next morning your absence at breakfast is noticed by everyone. There is no seat saved for you at any table so it was clear none of the players you were close with expected you to show up.

“Marta, where’s Y/N?” Jenni shouts across the food hall.

“That depends. Are you on their side or her side?” Marta points to Mapi and Leila.

“There’s no sides” Alexia corrects her.

“Yes there is, how don't you see it? For some reason you guys have barely talked to Y/N since you got here. As for her whereabouts, I have no idea. She swapped with Misa so ask Lola where she is”

Lola shrinks in her seat. She knew exactly where you were and given that last night you told her everything that happen she was a little reluctant to tell her friends.

“Lola. Where’s my sister?” Mapi asks the goalkeeper.

“In the gym” Lola says "She wants to talk to you"

The table watches how Lola refuses to meet any of their eyes. Avoiding eye contact was one of her tells when she lied.

“Lola” Alexia tone is low “Y/N isn’t in the gym is she?”

“No but after the way Mapi treated her do you really think I would tell her where she is. That’s right Y/N told me everything last night. Carmen will be ecstatic when I tell her that she was right”

“Where is she Lola?” Leila asks.

“She’s in the room. She kept having nightmares and according to V she was having them when she stayed with her. Here” Lola hands Leila your room key “I’m not happy with what happened but you need to talk to her”

The room was dark as Leila entered. She expected to find you in the bed closest to the door, it was something you did because you thought it protected your room mate, but she finds you buried under the covers in what she assumed is Lola's bed. Had you slept there last night?

You hear the door open but hope that if you ignored whoever entered that they would leave you alone. At first you thought it worked but you feel the bed sink behind you and next you feel a pair of arms snake around your waist. At first you tense up at the touch but then you recognise the scent and your body relaxes.

"Leila. This isn't a good idea" you aren't sure what is happening but you don't move.

"You need to sleep Y/N. This doesn't have to mean anything"

It did mean something though, to both you and Leila. You hadn't slept together without having sex before hand. It was intimate and not something you have experienced before but the sleepless night left you with little to no energy, definitely not enough to argue. You hated how much you body betrays you as you lay in bed with the woman who you were mad at. It wasn't that you suffered from insomnia but you slept much better when Leila was there.

"What were the nightmares about?" Leila asks.

"You. At first is was replays of what happened in the locker room but recently it's you leaving me standing in my apartment, nothing gets said but I end up alone" you don't know if it's your lack of sleep or the calmness that comes when Leila holds you but you allow yourself to be truthful and vulnerable.

"You're not alone"

"But I don't have you"

Nothing more is said, truth is Leila doesn't know what to say so instead she holds you close and listens as your breath evens out letting her know that you had fallen asleep. She regretted telling Mapi about the two of you as soon as she did it and she hated how quickly things escalated. The defender sets an alarm so that you will both be ready in time for training before falling asleep herself.

When she wakes almost an hour later she finds that the pair of you had shifted in your sleep and she was now cuddled into your side. She looks up to find you wide awake. Your eyes were red and if Leila didn't know any better she would have said you've been crying.

"Are you ok?" Leila asks.

Your face drops and she realises it was a stupid question but for a brief moment she forgot about the events of the last couple of days.

"No Leila, i'm not ok"

She wasn't sure if you telling the truth hurt more than it would if you had lied.

"Is everything ok with you and my sister?" you ask. It was something that been playing in your mind. They looked ok on the outside but you thought Mapi would be a little bit mad at Leila for sleeping with you.

"Yes, we're ok"

"That's good"

A silence grows between you and whilst in the past is was comfortable, it now suffocates you. It was a reminder of just how much had changed.

"I suppose we better get ready for training" you nudge Leila a little bit so that you can get out of bed.

For the first time since arrived at Los Rojas Leila saw the damage she had caused. With you having just woke up you wasn't wearing the facade that everything was ok. She watched as you get ready, you didn't mind though, it wasn't like she hadn't seen it before.

Unbeknownst to Leila, her gaze had turned into a stare by the time you're dressed and in the elevator you feel Leila staring at you again.

"Stop staring Leila" you say without taking your eyes off the descending elevator floor numbers.

"I'm sorry Y/N"

"It's too late for apologies Leila. The damage has been done, all that we can do now is move on"

It sounded so simple as you said it and you hoped you sounded more convincing than you feel.

"Move on, right"

It was like a sucker punch to the gut. Leila had hoped that the two of you could work things out but it sounded like things were over and she had no one to blame but herself.

"Don't blame yourself Leila. We both knew the risks when we started sleeping together" you pat her shoulder before exiting the lift.

It seems like the entire team was waiting for you in the lobby before they went to the training fields. The glares that were sent your way didn't feel good but none burnt quite like your sisters. You looks towards her in in time to see her shaking your head and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was thinking.

"Don't eve--"

"Nice to see it didn't take you two long to return to old ways" Mapi beats you to it.

"Mapi" Alexia warns her.

"I don't appreciate you leaving me waiting for you in the gym" the blonde ignores her captain and continues her attack.

"What are you talking about? I don't want to be near you, never mind speak to you in private"

"But Lola said you wanted to see me"

"She lied. I didn't sleep last night so my guess is she told you that so that she could tell Leila to come to my room without you been a bitch about it"

"So you did sleep together" Mapi was been relentless and the team couldn't help but watch.

"You need to move on or you and I will be done. Do you understand?" your voice was low in order to keep your conversation private.

Mapi's stoic expression drops for a second but she soon recovers.

The room was in shock as they watched the interaction between the two of you. Over the years you and Mapi had fought but it never got this bad and they had never seen you this angry.

"You don't turn your back on family" Mapi shouts.

"You did it first"

Some of the coaches saw the argument in the lobby so they choose to keep you and Mapi separated for the training session but in doing so they paired you up with Leila. It was awkward at first but the two of you worked well on the pitch and it was nice to see that not everything has changed.

They're was one part of training where you couldn't avoid your sister and that was during the scrimmage at the end of the session. The aggressive style you both chose to play with meant that things got physical quickly between the two of you. Irene warned you and Alexia did the same to Mapi but it was a waste of time, you were out for blood and was treating the game like it was a world cup final. Even though you were battling on the pitch you did so in a save way, that is until you are clear on goal and you feel studs collide with your ankle. Despite the pain mounting in your foot you are up and in your sister's face within a matter of seconds.

"Really Mapi!" you shove her backwards "Was breaking my heart not enough for you? Do you want to end my career too?"

"I didn't break your heart Y/N. Don't stand there and act like the thing between you and Leila was anything more than sex. You're just angry that I called you out on it" Mapi steps forward only for Alexia hold her arm out making the defender stop in her tracks.

"You don't get it do you? You want to know why I didn't tell you?" you turn to face Leila "Do you want to know why I didn't tell her?"

"Because you were ashamed"

"Because I fell in love with you, not that it matters anymore" it took you a few days and one to many drinks with V to come to this realisation and it scared the life out of you. Of all the people, it was Leila who showed you what love was.

You could feel your emotions getting the better of you so when a stray tear falls down your cheek you are quick to wipe it away before leaving the pitch. This is why you didn't do relationships or feelings, it never ended well and you always ended up hurt.

A member of the coaching staff calls for training to continue whilst another follows you into the gym. By the time the rest of the team enter the gym you are working with the coach but in a separate area.

"Ladies listen up. I want you to pair up and work through the exercises on the board"

"What about Y/N?" Leila asks. In the camps previous the two of you had partnered up so it felt wrong you not being with the team even though she doubts you would want to work with her.

"Y/N is almost done and then she will be taking over Alexia's media this afternoon"

"That's not—“ Alexia is cut off.

"It was her suggestion"

That didn't exactly reassure Alexia. You hated media almost as much as she did so that fact that you'd rather spend your afternoon within journalists instead of the team spoke volumes.

The girls complete their workout and your revelation is not brought up once although a few looks are exchanged between Leila and Mapi. You being in love with Leila changed things and although she knows she had no right, Mapi feels her protective instinct for the first time since she found out.

A couple of hours later Lola is laid on her bed when she hears a knock at the door. She is quick to her feet hoping to find you on the other side of the door but that's not the case.

"Capitana, by all means come in" Lola jokes as Alexia is already through the door and inspecting your room "Y/N isn't here and before you ask I don't know where she is, haven't seen her since the workout"

Lola can tell that Alexia doesn't believe her but she was telling the truth. Within seconds someone else knocks at the door, this time it's Jenni, Irene and Aitana. The look of disappointment on their faces let's Lola know know that they too came to see you.

Mapi stands on the other side of your room. She can hear voices inside, one she doesn't hear is yours but that doesn't stop her from knocking.

"Well, well, well if it isn't my least favourite Leon" Lola says as she answers the door for the third time.

"I know I messed up, you don't have to remind me" Mapi says as she enters. She didn't know that you had such strong feelings for Leila, she just thought you were playing games and sister or not, she didn't want her best friend to get hurt.

"She isn't here" Jenni tells your sister.

"I know" this gets the attention of those around her.

"You know where she is?" Alexia asks.

"No but she isn't going to come back here" Mapi says as if it is obvious.

"Why not?"

"Because you’re all here"

What Mapi said made sense. Whenever something happened you craved peace and quiet, the type that only comes when you are alone but it didn't stop them from worrying especially when they noticed you left you phone in the room this morning. They had no option other than to wait for you to get back from wherever you had gone.

It was hard to find a place that nobody knew about when you attended national camp but last year you found an empty office that looked over the training field. It was peaceful and gave you time to think.

You honestly thought when you first slept with Leila that it would last a month, two at most and then the two of you would move on with your lives. Now almost a year later you have just confessed that you had fallen in love with her in front of the entire team.

When the door opens you don't move, you keep your back towards the person who has walked in. As far as you were aware only one person knew about this room and it was because you showed her it when you wanted a few moments alone where you wouldn't get interrupted.

"Everyone's looking for you" Leila takes a seat beside you but doesn't invade your personal space.

"Then they'll be looking for you too" you couldn't bring yourself to look at her. You feel stupid for feeling the way you do and you wished you could take back what you said. Not because you didn't mean it but because it stripped you of the walls you spent years building up.

Rightly or wrongly you move closer to Leila and rest your head on her shoulder.

"Who knew that night you seduced me would lead to this?" Leila was careful with the words she chose. It was a serious topic and the last thing she wanted to do was scare you away.

"Now we both knew it was you who seduced me. I was dancing innocently when you joined me on the dance floor, starting grinding on me, grabbed my hands placing one just near the hem of you skirt and the other one on your stomach so I could pull you close" that moment seemed so minor at the time but you remembered it as if it was yesterday.

"I surprised you remember, you were very drunk" Leila chuckles slightly and you know she is playing the moment back in her head.

"You were drunk Leila. I was stone cold sober"

"So you knew what you were doing?" Leila asked you. It always played on her mind, she thought you were drunk and wondered if you would have done the same thing if you were sober, now she finally has her answer.

"By the way you seemed to enjoy yourself that night I am offended that you would even have to ask" It was a cocky reply but you tone didn't match what you were saying and Leila picked up on it straight away.

"Y/N"

"Yes Leila I knew what I doing. I knew you were forbidden fruit but I slept with you anyways. I knew my sister would hate me but I didn't care. That night, and the many nights after, I made a decision one that I stand by because it brought some of the happiest times of my life even if those moments were mostly in the bedroom" you stand up and begin pacing the room, the weight of the situation was like anvil on your chest and you wasn't sure how much more you could take before breaking completely.

"But look where that got us Leila" you were admitting defeat.

"It got us us" Leila stood so she was at your level although due to the height difference she was a little bit smaller.

She cups your face giving you no other option than to look her in the eyes. It had been a few days since you had really looked at her and she was breathtaking. You succumb to her touch and she smirks slightly when she sees the affect she has on you, even now.

"You said you fell in love with me, did you mean it?" her hands drop to her side.

You take a moment to think about it. It felt right when you said it but in your eyes you were incapable of loving someone the way they deserved and in turn you didn't deserve their love but Leila made you question the possibility.

Was you in love with her? You aren't sure. What you are sure of is that you are the happiest when you are with her, that she is the first person you think of in a morning and the last person at night. When she is having a good day, you are too and when she is having a bad day, you will do everything in your power to make it better. You felt whole when your bodies are intertwined but did that mean you were in love with her?

Why did something so well known have to be so confusing?

"Y/N" Leila says bringing you out of your own head and back to the present moment.

"Leila I don't know what love is but when i'm with you it feels like what I imagine love to be"

It was the closest thing Leila was going to get to the 3 magic words and she knew it.

"I'm scared too Y/N" you didn't have to tell Leila, she understood how your mind works "Loving someone is scary and that's ok"

"But everyone—“

Public perception was something you always said you never cared about but now that they have opinions about something and someone you cared about, well it changed the way you thought.

"They will have their opinions and we can't stop them but at this point our team is full of couples so they don't really have a leg to stand on"

Leila had a point but their relationships didn't matter to you.

"But what—“

Your insecurities were beginning to get the better of you and the cracks in your confident persona were beginning to show.

"What if I were to say I have fallen in love with you?"

"Have you?" the concept of someone loving you seems absurd to you.

"I have. I love you Y/N and I know I messed up by telling your sister about us but I--"

Leila is cut off when you crash your lips into hers. You don't know what comes over you in that moment but you need her. She returns the kiss and it soon becomes deeper. You had kissed Leila countless times, this time was different. It's as if you let you heart take the reigns and it wasn't wasting any time in showing Leila just how much she means to you.

"What does this mean?" you ask after regaining your breathe.

"It means we both know what we want and we won't let anyone get in the way of that"

[nebulaafterdark]

Heyy girlie, can we please get another smutty Harwin one-shot?🧎🏻‍♀️Maybe one where reader is already a few months pregnant with the fourth child, and they're trying to get at it while they're visiting family (any major house/castle) for a few months?

Hey! I’m gonna just jump to every conclusion that this is Queen’s Hand related, because you mentioned their fourth child. If not, shameless plug, go read The Queen’s Hand. Thanks for requesting!

My Princess

Summary: Princess Y/N Targaryen and her husband Ser Harwin are visiting her sister Rhaenyra on Dragon Stone. Harwin wants a few minutes alone.

18+ ONLY, SMEXY TIMES

When Y/N discovers she is pregnant, both she and her husband are in shock. They had not been trying for another child, in fact they carefully prevented it. As they are parents to three wonderful children already, the youngest of whom, their only son, caused his mother a great deal of hardship on the birthing bed.

The princess panicked, as did Harwin, though he never made his apprehension known. He simply loved her through it, that’s what Harwin does, he loves her through it. Through the first weeks of tears and constant worry, through the nausea and morning sickness, to the bump that makes itself known at the half way mark of her term.

Now they are off visiting Rhaenyra, Daemon and their children on Dragon Stone. It will be the last time they travel dragon back before the birth of the new babe.

Harwin loves his wife, their children and her family. Forever loyal to the mighty house Targaryen. Spending time with her lot has never bothered him, but getting Y/N alone is nearly impossible.

The children run her round until all hours, and when it is time to retire, Rhaenyra finds her way to their chambers. The sisters have never been apart as they are now, so when they are together, separating them is difficult.

While Ser Harwin will never voice his frustration, Daemon has no problem doing so.

“I want my wife in my bed.” The Prince tells Rhaenyra, leaning against the doorframe. Though he loves Y/N, enough is enough and the line must be drawn somewhere.

“Oh alright,” Rhaenyra waves him over.

Daemon smirks at her, “goodnight, Y/N. Goodnight, Ser Harwin.”

“Goodnight.” Y/N yawns as the door closes behind them.

Harwin huffs a laugh, seating himself at the foot of their guest mattress.

“Are you not pleased, my love?” The Princess taps a toe to his back.

“I am quite pleased, Princess. Finally I have you alone.” He turns, catching her foot. “All night.”

Y/N grins at him, stroking a hand over her belly. There are stories she heard coming up, about men who wouldn’t touch their wives when they were with child. That sex was for producing heirs and once that was done, there was no farther need. The knight would hear none of that.

“See,” he looks to his wife. “You’re proud of what you’ve done.”

“I am proud that you find me attractive in this state, yes.”

“Do you want to know the truth of it?”

Y/N nods as Harwin takes her foot, laying a kiss to her ankle.

“I find you attractive in every state, but this,” his lips move higher, up her shin to the knee. “Is a privilege. To watch you swell with my child, our child, created solely from my love for you…” The groan that rubbles out from low in his chest has Y/N sucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

The Princess tells him. “I would bear you a hundred children, if I could.”

He stops to nuzzle her belly before continuing upwards, feathering light kisses to the low neckline of her dress. Her breasts swollen and sensitive from the growing babe. “But we must not take chances, my love. I do not intend to outlive you.”

“I know that you worry…and for good reason.” After the last time. After both of their mothers and countless women who’ve lost their lives on the birthing bed. “But I am here now because of you.”

“You are here now because you are strong. I will do everything within my power to aid in the timely and easy birth of this child.”

Y/N pecks a kiss to his cheek. “You are a selfless and noble man.”

He turns to catch her lips. “I am nothing without you.” Harwin murmurs, with reverence. Peeling away the layers of her clothes while the Princess makes quick work of his own.

Her eyes find his as they break apart, cupping his face, stroking her thumbs over his cheeks. Struggling to find words for the emotion that tugs deep within the strings of her heart.

“I know.” Harwin assures her, with gentle kisses to her forehead and nose.

Y/N nods, leaning into his touch. Harwin and their children are the world to her, she shows them everyday. Though the right sentiments evade her, love for them does not.

They fall onto the mattress, Harwin holding his weight above her, mindful of their child.

“Closer,” Y/N pleads, tugging him toward her lips.

“Turn around for me.” Harwin leans back on his heels, with a little love tap to his wife’s behind as she moves to face away from him.

She smirks, swatting at his hand. “Ser Harwin!”

“Forgive me, Princess.” He chuckles, lining his cock up with her hot little cunt.

Y/N is not one for formalities, not with her beloved husband, and certainly not in their marriage bed. However she is not above teasing and through his love, she finally found a love for her title.

“My princess.” He breathes against the shell of her ear.

It sends a shiver down her spine. “Please.”

The knight groans, easing himself into her. “Fuck, sweetheart.” He smooths a hand over her back, gentling her into her forearms. His thrusts are slow and deep, teasing at that spot within her.

Y/N whimpers, twisting her fingers in the bed sheets, in the absences of his hand.

“Longed for you all day. For this. To bring you back to our rooms and bury myself inside you.”

“I?” She had done nothing but chase children round the castle.

“Always you, only you.” Harwin says between gritted teeth, her walls tight around his length, her wetness growing with each pass.

Y/N hums, low in her throat as his hands angle her hips just so…so deep, the tip of him kissing her cervix with each pass. “Fuck.” It’s nearly too much.

“Come here, sweetheart. Back up on your knees, lean against me.” I want to kiss you.

The Princess obeys, bringing her back to her husband’s chest, allowing him to support her weight with gentle arms held around her. One hand sneaking down to toy with her bundle of nerves. “Harwin,” she all but wails.

His poor, sensitive, sweet wife, completely at his mercy. “Hush now,” the knight whispers, turning her face toward him slightly, swallowing her cries as he takes her breast in hand. Rolling her sensitive nipple to a firm peak.

Her first orgasm surprises them both, churning her insides to molten lava. Tears cascading over her cheeks, mouth open wide, panting. Squealing in protest when his movements do not cease.

“Shhh,” Harwin cooes, thumbing feather light circles over her pearl. “Gentle. I will be gentle.”

Her cunt still pulses around him, encouraging his thrusts to continue.

“Don’t fight, let it come, sweetheart.”

The pleasure is blinding, surely she will die of it. Y/N has both hands tightly fisted in his dark curls. “I- Harwin.”

“I know,” Harwin soothes a hand along her side. “I’ve got you. Make a mess on my cock.”

She sobs her release into the quiet air of their guest quarters. Soaking him in her slick and knocking his greedy fingers from her clit. “Enough. Cum for me now.”

He thrusts into her thrice more before finding his release. Coming down to the feel of his wife’s gentle kisses, delicate fingers stroking his hair. Falling onto their sides to catch their breath.

“I love you.” Y/N yawns, beginning to doze already.

“I love you, Y/N.” More than you will ever know. More than words can say.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Shamura meeting a spider s.o who isn't really apart of the cult and lives the life of a traveler but visits from time to time and members consider her to be a 'big sister' and people love to come to her for advice...

like she'll be pulling pieces of debris, leaves, twigs, pieces of mushroom, etc. from the lambs wool (which she had lectured him about a few minutes prior like "Lamb, you got this in your wool AGAIN?? I will not allow you to continue to talk to people when you basically have a FOREST in your wool, sit down and let me help you.") and Shamura is there and I feel like they have real deep conversations, maybe s.o telling him their story after a while, how they think that they might be from the Silk Cradle but aren't sure because they were taken when they were young and raised in the mountains ... just a little thing i thought abt haha

"I-I can assure you, [y/n]..I don't need-"

"Oh no, you absolutely do need this." You tutted as you made Lamb sit down on a tree stump, picking bits of mushrooms and leaves out of their wool.

They winced as you harshly tugged on a twig that was especially embedded in it, casting it aside once it was plucked free. "I need to do my morning sermon," they grumbled. "Can this wait until-?"

"There's still a few more hours till noon. I will not have you walk up to that podium with your wool being a literal Anurian forest! How do you keep letting it get this bad anyways?"

"I-"

"Actually..don't answer that."

"But...!!! Ugh, fine." With a pout, the Lamb sat with their cheeks puffed out, remembering that they couldn't order you around...as you weren't one of their followers. So you didn't have to abide by any of their rules.

You were a nomadic spider who traveled all across the Old Faith. Your heart desired adventure, but every once in a while it would lead you back to these temple grounds, and you'd witness Lamb's cult growing steadily with each visit.

When they weren't around, their followers would flock to you, having grown accustomed to your frequent appearances. You carried a lot of knowledge during your travels, so you'd share stories of your recent journeys and offer advice to those who asked for it.

Whether it's about something personal or just how to navigate through a domain safely, you had plenty of answers for most of them. Some followers even looked up to you as a sister, which made you happy.

The most important part of your visit, however, was ensuring Lamb looked their best before they went to preach in the temple. You always caught them after they return from crusades, finding them covered in earthly debris without a care in the world.

If this new "god" of the lands wanted to be taken more seriously...they had to look presentable to their followers.

But even so, they were quite the fussy one; stubborn like a child: Bleating constantly, kicking their hooves, and sometimes even demonically hissing if you suggest they removed their crown for a moment.

They only acted that way because Narinder saw you preening their wool once and mocked his former vessel until your glare shooed him away.

Fortunately, Lamb chose not to argue with you any further, making your job easier to finish.

It took a few more minutes, but their wool finally looked a lot better, so you sent them on their way to preach the Red Crown's gospel after bidding them farewell.

Whatever debris you plucked out of them went into a bag of silk you've crafted for yourself. Surely you can do something with the twigs, leaves, mushroom stems, and pumpkin seeds they carried back to the cult grounds--you couldn't let any of that go to waste.

"Greetings, traveler. Back so soon?"

The familiar voice made you perk up, looking to see Shamura standing there with a book in their hands. It seemed to be one from Silk Cradle, detailing trap layouts and designs.

You smiled. "Hello, Lord Shamura. And yes. I like to come and go as I please."

".....forgive me, but your name slips past me.."

"It's [y/n]."

"..ah yes, yes...Sister [Y/n]. Welcome back." They bowed their head politely. "I do have a question, if you have the time."

"Of course." You nodded, before frowning as you noticed the somewhat troubled look on their face. "What ails you?"

"...hm?" They blinked. "Do I look sick?"

"Oh, no. I mean..your expression. I've seen it on other followers, and it's usually because something's weighing heavily on their mind-"

"Why call me "lord" if you have not served under me?" Shamura abruptly interrupted, confused as their gaze went to the open book in their hands. "I have seen many spiders in Silk Cradle...but none quite like yourself. If only I could remember..were you a servant? A warrior? A merchant...?"

The more they struggled to recall, the more ichor began leaking through their bandages. And you could see it was physically paining them, too.

It made you wonder how they ever survived losing the Purple Crown, but then again it probably took a miracle from the Lamb to give them a fighting chance--a second chance.

Even so, you felt bad for Shamura. Their memory gaps kept widening despite their desperation to remember things and continue reading.

"Oh dear..allow me to hold that for you." You gently took the book away from them before the liquid could splatter all over the cover, closing it up. "I didn't grow up in Silk Cradle, but I'm sure I was born there. I only remember being taken up to the mountains..perhaps my family became deserters who disliked the violence."

"Hm...under my ruling, deserters would have been swiftly found and jailed."

"I see-"

"No, no..that's not it...they...would have been swiftly found, tried in my court, and publicly executed." They corrected themselves, huffing. "My apologies."

"...oh. Then I guess I'm glad we weren't ever found out." You awkwardly chuckled, having much preferred what they said before. "It seems your memory has been improving since the last time we met."

"Yes, indeed...indeed it is.." Shamura nodded, before you both heard the tolls of the temple bell, signaling that it was time for the sermon. "The Lamb calls..they are speaking now." They looked to you. "Shall we go together, [y/n]?"

"Sure." With a smile, you linked arms with them. "But as a fair warning, I tend to hang around the back and just listen."

"As do I, my friend...as do I." A tiny smile formed between their fangs. "I hope Lamb's wool isn't covered in earthly vermin anymore."

"It's clean as a whistle." You reassured, smiling back at them, before you two headed towards the temple.

Perhaps you'll stay here in the cult for the rest of the day. Just to spend a little more time with Shamura.

You enjoyed the company of a fellow arachnid.

[ghostiiess]

[NSB IMAGINES] - next round

★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★

pov: who would have thought that losing at a video game would turn out this way..?

warnings: mention of sex & kisses, a little making out towards the end, one use of a pickupline, intimacy

type: spicy (not smut, but let's say it's not 100% wholesome)

member: ryan nguyen (azngami)

wc: around 2.33K

9:34pm.

Your boyfriend, Ryan Nguyen, had just texted you privately if you wanted to spend the night at his place and spend some quality time with him. Obviously, you didn't hesitate to answer his request: you said yes and brought all the objects, products, clothes you would need for the rest of the evening and the night, that would come in a few hours already.

You looked at yourself one last time, and applied a layer of toothpaste on your toothbrush. As you cleaned up, you put some hair elastics, a spare toothbrush and a tube of extra toothpaste in your travel bag just in case. You still had your belongings at Ryan's house, but you always made sure you had a second one just to be safe. With 6 other boys in the house, a lot could happen and you didn't want to take any chances.

Finishing brushing your teeth, you smiled in the mirror, made sure you didn't have any stains or food left in your mouth, and turned off the light. You finally left your apartment and locked the door. You walked to your car and drove to the house of the six others boys, who were very close to you because of your relationship with their best friends, and your boyfriend's.

(the rest of the imagines is under the cut!)

***

9:52pm.

Finally arriving, you got out of your car and smiled, locking the doors of your car and walking to the front door of the big house.

You rang the bell and heard screams from the other side of the door and footsteps coming closer and closer to the "wall" that separated you from them.

The door finally opened, leaving you to admire the smile on Kane's face as he took you in his arms.

-Y/N! Haven't seen you in a while!

Taking him in your arms, you smiled and walked into the big house that shouted the words "comfort" and "happiness". Pulling yourself out of the doorway, Darren, who was leaning on the bedside table by the front door, smiled.

-Please, tell me that you're going to spend the night here.. It's already pretty late outside.

-Yeah, Ryan invited me.

The boys were treating you like their little sister in the group. Even though, you weren't in their music band, they were always taking care of you, and trying their best to protect you in any case possible.

Kane smiled.

-Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?

-I'm good, but thanks for the invitation.

The oldest of the group grinned at you as he went back into the living room with Darren to finish the show they had started.

-Is the rest of the boys upstairs? you asked

-Yup.

You took off your shoes and walked up the stairs towards the first room: Justin's. It was something the boys were used to see when you were coming over. You were always going in their rooms to say hi, and see how they were doing.

Knockering before entering, you heard his voice:

-Come on in!

You opened the door slowly and gently, letting the quietness of the room overwhelm you with his soft music in the background.

-Y/N! Hi! I didn't know you were coming! How are you?

-I'm good, thank you for asking. How are you?

-I'm good, I'm good. Just chilling, y'know?

You nodded.

-I just wanted to say hi before I went to see Ryan.

JP smiled and laughed softly.

-He didn't even go downstairs to see you? Damn.. Usually, he do!

-Yeah I know, but I don't think he noticed that I'm here. After all, he plays video games and we all know how hard is it to distract him from those.

Phan nodded with a soft laugh and motioned for you to come closer.

-Look at my thumbnail! Do you think it's cool?

-Yeah! I love the effects you did on the texts. It's really interesting!

***

The conversation over, you walked into Regie's room, who was emptying his travelling bags.

-Hey Reg'!

-Hum? Oh hey Y/N! What's up?

-Nothing much, to be honest. Just chilling. How about you?

-Same. Were you looking for Ryan?

-Nah, I was just passing to every one say hi.

He nodded and smiled.

-Seb and Oli are in the studio, right?

-As always, he smiled

-Alright! Have fun unpacking lol.

You continued down the hallway to hear Seb and Oli's voices mingling with the melody that was coming through the creation room, more known as the music studio.

-Sounding good, here.

The two turned, seeing you, and smiled.

-Y/N! Little sis'!! I missed you! Seb exclaimed

-I'm literally older than you, Seb.

-Whatever, you're still my little sister.

You laughed softly, while rolling your eyes, and responded to his request for a hug.

Oliver grinned and took off his headphones completely while standing up in front of you, and his younger brother Sebastian.

-Hey Y/N. How's it going?

-Pretty great. How about you two?

They answered your question, then smiled. The oldest Moy brother in the group opened his arms, asking for a hug as well, which you accepted, and smiled.

-Do you want to hear the music we're working on? Oliver Moy said while letting you go from the hug

Nodding, you listened to the melodious sound they had just created, and couldn't help it, but smile at their newest song they were making. If the song had to be described in a word, it'll probably be "safety". The lyrics they were both singing was really deep and way more personal, then the others songs they already wrote for the two latest years.

-The stars are going to love it, I'm telling you.

-I hope they do.

You finished talking, then concluded the conversation by telling them you would talk to them later. The two nodded and continued to work, leaving you to leave the room to go see your boyfriend.

***

Nguyen's bedroom door was closed. You knocked gently before entering, and saw your boyfriend playing his video games, then smiled, meaning he had just seen you.

-I'll finish my game real' quick and I'm all yours, baby.

You nodded as you placed your bag on the floor, on the same side you where going to sleep in his bed. You layed down on the soft, comfortable bed and sighed. The bed was really comfortable.

***

A few minutes, about ten, had passed between the time you walked through the door and the time you laid down in his bed. Finally putting his headphones down on his stand, Ryan turned, still being in his gaming chair, and put his eyes in yours.

His hand went through his dark black hair and his smile came to warm you up. His right hand was now resting on the arm of the chair while his left was still in his hair to remove the headphone mark he had made from his gaming session.

-I missed you, sweetheart.

-I missed you too, Ryan.

Suddenly, his eyes left yours and went to the floor with his right hand going to his neck, something he did when he was feeling nervous or anxious.

-Sorry I didn't greet you earlier. I was really concentrated in my game and didn't hear the door open.

You shrugged.

-It's okay, Ry', don't need to apologize for that kind of thing. Plus, it allows me to say hello to the boys, and have my intimacy with you for the rest of the night..

-What do you mean?

-Well.. Most of the times, the boys don't come in after I finished up talked with them.

Without answering, he walked over to the bed and laid down like you. He sighed.

-I know I told you this before, but I really, really missed you.

You smiled while kissing his forehead, and caressed his eyes with yours, as you laid them down.

-What were you playing before I got here?

-Valorant. I really love this game. Today, I've been able to do all what I needed to do, and I even bought some special kits to help me during my game.

His eyes sparkled. He was really cute when he started talking about something he liked.. Wisps of sparkle could be seen in his brown eyes and according to you, it was one of the cutest things you could see on his face.

-I'd love to play it with you someday, you admitted

His smile widened, while tooking your hand and kissing it gently.

-Well…I could teach you tonight. What do you think about that?

-I think it would be cute.

-It would.., he said while kissing your hand one more time. But on one condition.

You raised an eyebrow.

-I want you to give me a kiss on the lips every time you succeed in a mission. I don't want a kiss on my cheek, or my nose, or even my forehead. I want one on my lips.

-That's a little bit specific, but sure.

-Maybe, but remember the last time we did this this kind of thing? You gave me kisses on my cheeks, while I wanted them on my lips.

-You didn't said it was supposed to be on the lips???

-I thought it was obvious! he rolled his eyes. But now I'm telling you. I want them on my lips.

You softly laughed.

-Someone is in the mood tonight.

He raised his eyes to the ceiling, then got up from the bed.

-Yeah, yeah, think whatever you want. Sit there, I'll be right back. I brought bubba for you, this morning.

***

The game was about to end, and let's say the number of kisses you had given Ryan was two.

-Press space, press space! exclaimed your boyfriend

The game had only a few seconds left. Your life gauge was almost empty, while your opponent's was full.

The game officially over, you sighed, and looked at the words on Ryan's computer screen saying "GAME OVER", and "YOU LOST".

-Sorry, I did my best-

He quickly interrupted you by putting his hands on your shoulders.

-That's okay, Y/N. I don't mind, for real. It was cute seeing you focused on the game. Even if you were.. a bit bad at it, not gonna lie.

You sighed.

-I still want your kisses.. even if you don't win.

He smiled as you moved closer to him, and cupped the tips of your lips with his, closing your eyes for more intimacy with him. Smiling through the kiss, Ryan lifted you up from the chair into his strong arms and continued to peck your pinky lips. Slowly, opening your eyes, you pulled back from the kiss, then put your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck like he asked you to do.

-You won't be comfortable if we do it in my gaming chair, I'm telling you.

Ryan quickly went to his bed, and placed you on it. Laying on top of you, the young man smiled as he moved closer and closer from your lips.

-Maybe you lost the game, but you won my heart.

You laughed at his pickup line.

-It was so cheesy.

-Don't act like you didn't liked it.

He smiled back, coming closer and closer to you, so close you could feel his breath on your warm neck. His breath on it was like an ice cube. He put his lips back together with yours, then moved his hands to caress your cheek, while your hand went to his black hair.

-You did well to go and say hello to the rest of the group, because I would be damn angry if someone came to disturb us, right now only to say hello to you.., whispered Nguyen between two kisses, then cut the tiny distance between you guys two mouths.

His right hand caressed your cheek and moved to the texture of your tshirt, which was crumpled by his fingers. His left hand, on the other hand, stayed long like the letter L, just to have a little balance: the vertical straight line from the 12th letter, forming his arm, and the horizontal bar being his hand.

He interrupted the kiss, to take some more air, and smiled shyly.

-Do you want to pursue farther, my love?

-I want to, but only if you want to aswell.

He smiled a bit more, then approached you.

-Are you sure? I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do.

-I am sure. Are you?

He nodded.

-I am.

You gently took his face in your hands, and connected your lips with his once again. Your hands ran down his body, letting your fingers do whatever they wanted on him. You smiled into him, then saw him take off his hoodie and throw it across the room, while continuing to kiss you.

-You'll have to be discreet, the boys are still in the house..

You nodded and felt his lips go to your neck. Your arms wrapped around his neck even more than they were before, making you closing your eyes, and clearing your throat to avoid making a noise that the boys shouldn't hear.

-I know it's hard, but keep it quiet baby, he quietly said while smiling, knowing the effects he have on you. I don't want the others boys to hear your voice.

Leaving marks on your neck, you quickly took off your shirt, letting Ryan look at you, and smile before continuing what he was doing before.

-You're beautiful, Y/N.

He also took off his shirt, leaving him shirtless, and reached up to your neck to give more marks that only him could see. He then whispered the following words meaning he was going to move on from kissing your neck..

-Next round, pretty girl.

hope you guys liked it!! :D i'm sorry if i made any mistakes. i don't think i will ever go more further than this for the spicy imagines, but i still hope you guys liked it, and that it wasn't too cringe or weird to read lol. let me know what you guys think!!

taglist open! if you guys want to be in it, please send an ask! not on my taglist bc i have a problem there (im trying my best to fix it)! : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 9

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,300

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N- Back at a convention we go. Someone lets the cat out of the bag here with the breakup. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Turns out you really didn’t have a lot of time to think things over once you returned home.  Jared was at the studio, and Gen had her hands full with a wild child and a smelly dog.  You leave her with Tom and take Sadie outside for a bath.  When you come back inside Tom wants you to play with him.  

Jared comes home with your script for the first episode, they had to rework a few things for it.  Before bed you spend some time reading it over and making notes for yourself.  

When you wake up and go down to a late breakfast on Thursday, Gen starts asking about your flight.

“What flight?”

“Aren’t you flying out today, so you can be there all day tomorrow?”

“What are you…OH CRAP THE CONVENTION!”

Jared comes back from his run just as you finish yelling.  “What happened?” he asks, looking between you and his wife before you are dashing from the room.

“I think she forgot it was convention weekend, and that she is supposed to leave today,” Gen tells her husband.

“Got it.”

After a quick shower you are running around your room picking out clothes.  Someone knocks and you holler at them to come in.  Gen walks in looking at the clothes thrown on the bed and the open bathroom bag on the dresser.

“Do you have anything around for this weekend yet?”

“Um, no.  Do you remember ever seeing con pictures of me in this top?” you ask her, holding up a black dress shirt.

“Yes, but only because there is a picture of us together, I have.”

“Crap.”  Throwing that in the no pile you move back to the closet.

“What time is your flight?”

“4:15, should probably leave here around 1:30.  Which is oh, about two hours away now,” you reply with a grimace. 

“What can I do to help?” she asks.

“My bathroom travel things are in the bathroom cabinet.  I hope.  I don’t know why I unpacked that stuff.  Could you throw it in the travel bag please?  There should be hair crap, body wash, face cream, lotion. Whatever makeup is on the counter. Oh and toothbrush and paste.  Will definitely need those, no one wants to get close to the girl with morning breath.” 

Finally figuring out 2 outfits for the days you are there, and one for karaoke, you run out to the pool building to grab your swimsuit.  You never know if you will have time for a swim, but you would rather have it with you and not use it than leave it at home and have free time.   Throwing in some workout clothes and pajamas you are finally good to go.  You pack your carryon bag with your wallet, computer, headphones, a book and some snacks.  

Thirty minutes later your bags are sitting by the bedroom door.  “Okay, I think I’m good to go.”

“Only a small tornado left in your wake.”

Raising an eyebrow you look at Gen, not sure what she means.  She points her finger around your room and you look with a groan.  You currently have more clothes on the bed and floor than are likely in the closet.

“I’ll help you pick ‘em up.”

Half an hour later the room is back together and you won’t have to worry about it when you get home Saturday night.

“Gen, I ever told you you are a lifesaver?”  You ask your sister-in-law as you walk out of your room.

“Eh, it’s been awhile,” she jokes with you.  “But I’m happy to help.”

Taking your things downstairs, you find Tom and Jared on the living room floor building with legos.

“Aunt Y/N, wanna build with us?”

“I can for a few minutes.”

“Are you leaving again?”

“Yeah, I’m off to Orlando, Florida this time.”

“Where’s that?”

“East of here,” he just looks at you, “not that that means anything to you.”

He turns to his dad, “are you leaving too?”

“Saturday morning bud.  That’s in two days, and I’ll be gone for two days.”

“You’re flying out in the morning?” you question.

“Yeah, figured I’d come a little earlier.  They moved some of our stuff around to get more in on Saturday since you won’t be there Sunday.”

“Oh, thanks for doing that.  Sorry you had to.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

After spending a few minutes building a Lego town, you all break for lunch before Jared drives you to the airport.  He tells you to have a safe trip and gives you a hug before getting back in the car and taking off.  

Once you clear check-in and security, you walk around the familiar space, before sitting down and pulling out your book.  It’s finally time to board and you are ready for takeoff.  You’re a little nervous about how this weekend is going to go, and the sooner it’s over with the better. 

After collecting your luggage at the Orlando airport, you look around for Mike and finally see him hurrying through the doors.  You wave at him to get his attention, he slows a little but is still moving quickly.

“Sorry, traffic was a lot worse than I thought it would be.”

“It’s no problem, I just got my bag.  How are you doing?”

“I’m good, thanks.  How about you?”

“I’m fine.”

The trip to the hotel took longer than usual also.  Mike was right about the current traffic.  While the convention and most of the guests were staying at the Doubletree Hotel, they had the cast at Embassy suites.  It was a few minutes away, but not too bad.

Mike had your hotel key with him, and asked if there was anywhere you needed him to stop before dropping you off.  You told him no, and he went right to the hotel. 

You found your way up to the room without any problem. It’s close to 9, and your stomach is grumbling.  You head down to the cafe in the hotel before it closes to grab something for dinner. The dining area is in the middle of the main floor. 

Looking up you can see the walkways on every floor around it.  Instead of sitting at the bar, you grab a table off to the side.  While you are picking at your sandwich, two hands clamp down on your shoulders and whisper “gotcha.”

You can’t help but scream out.

“Oh shit, way to go Bri,” Kim says as she sits down across from you.

You hold up your hand and repeat, “sorry, sorry,” to those still dining around you.  At least this late there aren’t too many people around.

Briana sits down next to you and picks a fry out of your half eaten basket, “sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t even see you two walk in.”  You look at the pajamas they’re wearing, “how was the pj party?”

“It was good.  Lots of fun, like usual,” Kim tells you.

“Yeah, I get alcohol in there now, it’s fuckin great,” Bri agrees. 

“So what are you doing here so early?” Kim asks.

“I had to change my schedule around because I can’t stay on Sunday.”

“Oh something exciting going on?  Has to be to pull you away from Jay,” Briana questions.

“Not really exciting, I just have to leave Saturday.”

The girls look at each other, then back at you.  “You aren’t telling us something.  We’ll let it go for now, but we will get it out of you,”  Kim says in her best Carrie Martin voice.

“Okay, mom.”

Thankfully, they change the subject and talk about what has been going on with themselves the last few weeks.  You are pretty vague when it comes to yourself.  Before long, you are all calling it a night and heading up to your respective rooms.

The beeping of your alarm wakes you Friday morning, with a groan you get up to start your day.  It’s early enough, you can make your way to the second floor where the outdoor pool is located.  Hopefully a few laps will help you wake up.  Back in the room you go through your morning routine of making yourself presentable for all the photo ops you will have.  Your cell notifies you of an incoming text, letting you know Mike is on his way.

He drops you off at the convention hotel, at one of the back entrances.  Chelsea is waiting for you at the door.  

“Hey!” you greet her with a hug before moving inside.  “Nice to see you again.”  You never know who your handler will be until you arrive at the conventions.  You work with Chelsea a lot, but it’s not uncommon to have one of the other girls.  As long as it’s not Victoria, you’re good.

She hands you a coffee and starts going over your schedule on the way to the green room.  First up on the schedule is a 10 am Meet and Greet (M&G). She leads you down when it gets closer and takes her seat in the corner as you greet the fans and answer the questions.

As that half an hour winds down, Adam Fergus comes in the side door.  “Someone’s got an early start to her day.  I don’t usually see you around this early.”

“Yeah, my schedule is a little off this weekend.  I’m guessing if you’re here then our time is up.” With a frown you turn to the group of fans.  “I had a lot of fun with you all, thank you.”

You wave to them as everyone gets up and they are being led to the exit.  Walking over to Adam you give him a hug in greeting, you don’t have time to catch up because his M&G group is being brought in.

Back in the green room they have some pictures for you to sign. You hear DJ Qualls take the stage for the first panel.  Julian Richings, has the second.  He doesn’t make it to many conventions, so it is always nice to see him.  You mentally make a note that you want to get a picture with him before he leaves. 

You have various photo ops, and a panel with Kim and Briana later in the afternoon.  After the day programing wraps up, a good two hours of autographs.  It’s a little after 6, by the time you are finished.  Bri and Kim are already done, Adam and David are also finishing up, everyone else is gone. A group text had gone out earlier about ordering dinner to be delivered to the hotel tonight.  As the three of you get in the car to go back to the hotel, Bri lets you all know it’s on the way now and there are some tables by the pool where you can all eat.

Arriving back at the hotel, the three of you all head to your rooms to change before meeting them for dinner.  You throw your suit on under your clothes, and head to the outdoor pool area. 

Rich is still at the convention center for Dick chat, but you, Kim, Bri, David, Adam, DJ, Julian and Sam Smith are all back at the hotel.  Conversation flows a little more freely when there isn’t anyone else around.  They do have some questions about Jensen and his new suit you have to field.

“Did you get to see him in that suit when you were in Toronto?” Kim asks.

“What she really wants to know is, did you get to do him in that suit?” Bri interjects, and the guys all groan.

“No, I never made it to set, they keep things pretty tight up there,” you tell them.

“Yeah they do.  Suit couldn’t have been much tighter.”

“Not what I meant Bri.”

“Has he told you any behind the scenes secrets?” Sam asks.

“Nope, I know probably as much as you guys do.”

You do your best to turn the conversation to other topics and away from you or Jensen, when it seems to quit working you go hop in the pool.  Before too long you need to get ready to go back for Karaoke.  

Adam, David, DJ, Julian, Sam and you, all are going back.  Bri and Kim are bowing out of this one.  When you arrive back, the fans are still watching the screening of ‘Yellow Fever.’  There are a variety of drinks set up in the green for you all. 

Adam looks over the table, “what flavor of ‘apple juice’ shall we start with?”

“Something we aren’t going to regret tomorrow morning, would be great,” you tell him.

“Chicago was your own fault Lil Pad, you all were shooting them back a bit quick,” he fires back.

“I blame Bri,” you say with a shrug.

It isn’t long before the film is over and the stage is set for karaoke.  With your red solo cups the six of you make your way on stage, while Adam draws the first name.  Those that come on stage give it their all, and the crowd is singing along too.  Adam is all over the stage and starts running up and down the aisles as well, which keeps not only his handler, but others busy watching him as well. 

An hour and a half later, the event is winding down and you’re definitely ready to get back to the hotel and relax before bed.  Well, after you pack.  You aren’t used to leaving on Saturday afternoons.  

The next morning there are two cars to take nine of you over to the convention hotel a little after nine.  Adam, David and Jason don’t have to be there until ten.  There is breakfast waiting in the green room along with the group's Starbucks order.  Rob is talking with the band before looking for you.

“Y/N, did you text me the song you wanted to sing tonight?  I can’t seem to find it.”

“I won’t be at the concert tonight, sorry guys.  I head out this afternoon.”

“What?  That is unacceptable,” he jokes with you.  “Is your other half going to cover for you?”

“I have no idea what they are doing tonight.”

Rob, Rich and Louden Swain soon take the stage to start the day and then they call you, Bri, Kim and Sam to the stage.  Things are going well, you all are talking, joking, and occasionally answering questions.  At least until a little over halfway through when you get a question that catches you completely off guard.

A girl comes up to the mike and looks right at you.  “My question is for Y/N.”

“I know her, she’s right here,” Kim jokes, pointing to you.

“What do you have for me sweetie?”

“How could you break up with Jensen?”

The whole room goes quiet, you stare at the girl, and everyone else is looking at you. “What?” you finally stutter.

“He announced it this morning during an interview.”

Everyone is still looking at you,  Sam is one of the first to recover.  “Um, maybe this isn’t the…’

“Thanks, Sam, it’s alright.  I don’t know what Jensen said about this.  But we both have different projects we’re working on.  And um, I guess you hope things are going to work out one way, but sometimes life has other plans.  I would appreciate though, if um, there weren’t any more questions on this right now.  It’s supposed to be a fun weekend, let’s not bring it down okay?”

You try and focus on the last twenty minutes of the panel, but your brain keeps going back to that girl's question, and how could Jensen do that today?  Why did he feel the need to announce it during an interview even?

When Rob and Rich come back on stage with the band you barely wait for them to start singing you off before you are gone down the steps.  You see your brother right behind the curtain, he pulls you into a hug and walks with you back to the green room area.  

“Are you alright?” he quietly asks.

“Just great.  Have you seen the interview?”

“Not yet.”

You ignore Victoria sitting in the corner with a smug smile and go to the opposite side of the room with Jared.  Pulling out your phone you search for the interview.  Bri, Kim and Sam had been following you two, but they realize what you are doing and move to give you some room.  Finding the video you push play.

Jensen is with Karl, Jack, Chase, Anthony, and sitting right next to him is Claudia.  Watching the interview from this morning's talk show appearance, you aren't really paying attention to what’s being said, just trying to find the spot where Jensen throws you under the bus.  

The interviewer makes a comment about how some of them have said they don’t want their parents to watch, but what about their significant others? 

Claudia is the first to do anything, she laughs before speaking.  “Well, Anthony is the only one of us currently in a relationship, so he’ll have to take that one.”  

You notice Jensen makes a slight movement to look at Claudia out of the corner of his eye, and some of his castmates are looking at him as Anthony answers.  When he’s finished the interviewer turns it back to Jensen.

“Aren’t you dating your former co-star, Y/N Padalecki?”

Claudia speaks up before Jensen can say a word, “ not any more she came up here just to break up with him because he was working.”  She leans closer to your ex, and you can’t help but notice the way she is rubbing her hand up and down the top of his leg.  Yeah, you aren’t so sure something isn’t going on there.

“We’re so sorry to hear that,” Don, Dan, whoever says to Jay.

“Long distance doesn’t work out for everyone, and I guess we just wanted different things,” Jensen finally speaks up. 

The interviewer moves the topic back to the show and continues on.

“I cannot believe him.”

“In his defense,” your brother starts, “he didn’t really announce the breakup.”

“He had to have been talking about it with her, and he didn’t make a move to stop her, did he?  Didn’t take him long to move on.”

You turn around and notice your friends on the other side of the room trying not to look at you.  With a sigh, you drop your head back and know you have some explaining to do.  Before you can get very far, a nervous Chelsea comes and tells you you are needed for your VIP M&G and then photo ops.

 After your solo ops, you have photos with the ladies.  Even though they want to ask, there is no time for questions now.  Jared comes down for his ops with you, when those are finished you are done with photos for this convention.  You give Chris a hug and tell him thanks before you follow your brother and handlers out of the room.  The last of your autographs are next, it takes well over an hour for you to finish up.  There are some comments about you and Jensen, mostly I’m sorry to hear you broke up.  But a few rude ones, that couldn’t understand why you would do that.

Walking into the green room you notice almost everyone is in there, since there is a little bit of a break.  Grabbing a water you sit on the edge of a table, with Jared coming up next to you.

“I know you all want to know what’s going on, so here it is.  Yes, Jay and I aren’t together anymore.  No, I didn’t go up to Toronto just to break up with him.  It just happened while I was up there.  I’m just not really ready to talk more about it right now.”

They all nod, Sam comes over and gives you a hug, Bri and Kim are right behind her.

“This the reason for the schedule change?” Bri quietly asks.  You just nod.

Looking at the time, you make sure everything you were supposed to have autographed is done.  The few things you have gotten out of your bag are packed back up.  Jared is about to head to one of his M&G’s, you give him a hug before he goes.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Liar.  Have a safe flight.  I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Thanks.  Hope all goes well here.  Have a safe flight tomorrow.  See ya soon.”

You tell the rest of the group goodbye before you head out.  You still have a little time before your 3:30 flight, but you want to get out of there before Jensen arrives.  Once you are all checked in at the airport, you find a quiet spot to sit, and go through your phone.  You know you shouldn’t, but you bet the comments are flying about you right now.  You aren’t wrong.

Earlier that morning up in Toronto, Jensen is boarding the plane for Florida.  He finds his seat, throws his bag up top and sits down with a huff.  He hadn’t had the morning he was expecting to.  

His phone went off early this morning, someone from the show calling to tell him he was needed for an interview at the studio.  Jesse was sick and unable to make it, they were asking him to fill in.  He hurries to get cleaned up and make sure he has everything he needs to fly down for the convention.  

Everyone else is already at the studio, they do a quick hair and makeup fix on him. Karl comes over to see how he’s doing.

“Ready for ya trip?”

“I think so.”

“Ya talked to her since she left?”

“No.  But I don’t know what more she wanted from me. I haven’t figured out if I want to see her or not.  Haven’t talked to Jared either.  That’ll be interesting.”

“Maybe, ya just needed some time apart, and you two can work it out this weekend.”

“If it was space she needed, she wouldn't have broken up with me when she came up here.  We had plenty of space living in two different countries.”

What neither man notices is Claudia hanging around behind them.

When it’s almost time, they have the cast take a seat and the interviewer comes out and sits across from them.  Getting the cue from the studio they start rolling. Everything was going fine until the question about spouses came up and Claudia started talking.  Jensen is too busy trying to figure out how she knows to even speak.  He looks at her out of the corner of his eye before slightly looking at Karl, who is also looking at him.

Once his mind catches up he tries to shut the topic down before anymore can be said.  When the camera moves away from him, he moves Claudia’s hand off his leg.  By the time the interview is over, he can’t stay and question her about it, he has to get to the airport.   He sends Karl a text on the way.

Any idea how she knew that?

Karl and Eric are the only two up here he had talked to about this.  He gets a reply a short time later,

Not a bloody clue.

Once he gets to the airport, he doesn’t have a lot of time before the plane is supposed to take off.  He is hoping since a number of fans will already be busy at the start of the convention day, word of the interview will take awhile to get around.  There is nothing on his phone when he powers it down before takeoff.  Sitting back he spends the flight looking over the final script of the season.

Arriving at the hotel, Mike gives him his room key and Jensen tells him he'll be back down in ten minutes.  That gives him time to find his room, leave his bag, and change out of the airport clothes.

Clif is waiting at the back entrance of the convention center when he is dropped off there. He follows him up to the green room, where Victoria is waiting.

“Jensen, great to see you again. Hope you’re doing well.”

“Fine, thanks. You?”

“Good.  I’m happy to be here.  The suit reveal you posted on Instagram was amazing.  I can’t wait until the show premieres.”

“Thanks. So, what’s first on my schedule?” he asks when she doesn’t tell him.

“Oh, solo pictures in a few minutes, then with Misha.  You have a short break before the VIP M&G, then the regular one.”

“Ok. Do you know where Y/N is?”

“She’s around somewhere.”

He gets through his photo ops, and looks for you on his way to the M&G’s.  He doesn’t see you around anywhere.  It’s about halfway through the main M&G when someone mentions they are sorry to hear about what Y/N did.

He’s slightly confused, “what did she do?”

“How she came up to Toronto to, well you know…”

It suddenly clicks, the interview.  Guess word got around.  “Y/N’s an amazing woman, but unfortunately things didn’t work out.”

“How does this affect you and Jared?”

“If one of us comes on stage tomorrow with a black eye, you’ll know,” he tries to joke.

Finally making it through that half an hour he is escorted back to the green room.  Sam is the only one in the room and she is getting ready to go back to photos.  He grabs a water and sits at one of the tables, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it.  Opening twitter he receives a notification he’s trending, and so are you.  “If we’re both trending, I bet I know what that’s for,” he mumbles.

“Who’s fault is that?” a voice behind him asks.

Taking a deep breath, he readies himself to turn around and face his best friend.  Who also happens to be your older brother.

“Hey Jare.”

“Ackles.  You didn’t answer my question.”

He holds up his hands, “Look man, I never intended for that to come out this morning.  I don’t even know how she knew.”

“You didn’t tell her?  The two of you seemed pretty close.”

“The only two I’ve talked to are Karl and Eric.  I haven’t talked to you, because she’s your sister, so I didn’t know where that put us.”

“That makes two of us.  What happened between you two, Jay?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know what more she wanted from me.  I thought we were fine.  Then she comes up to Toronto and tells me she can’t do it anymore.  Where did that even come from?”

“She’s been hurting for awhile, but the one person who was supposed to notice it, didn’t have a fucking clue.  In case you were wondering, that was you.”

“Then why didn’t she talk to me about it earlier?”

“Did you two even talk anymore?”

“Of course we did.”

Jared raises his eyebrows and slowly nods.  “Really? All I know is, I’ve heard her cry, both before and after she went to see you.  Gen and I were hoping going up to visit would have made things better, but it didn’t.  I’ve seen the hate she is getting today, she was blindsided in her morning panel because of your interview.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s gone.”

“Back at the hotel?

Jared looks at his watch, “no, she should be landing in Austin in about 30-40 minutes.”

“She left the convention?”

“Yeah.”

In that moment, knowing you were already gone, he had his answer.  He had been hoping to see you.  “Was it because of the interview?”

“No, she had already planned it.

“She didn’t want to see me.”

Jared shrugs, but they both know the answer.

“What about you?” Jensen asks him.

“Your mug is pretty ugly to look at.”  Jensen rolls his eyes before Jared continues.  “She keeps telling me not to let what happens with the two of you interfere with our friendship.  But it’s hard not to be upset with the guy that hurt my sister.  You have no idea how much I would love to take a swing at you right now.”

He nods in understanding, “I guess I could possibly deserve that.  But she isn’t the only one that was hurt here.  She blindsided me with that breakup,” Jensen tells him before he walks over to where Victoria is signaling him from.

The two men go out for their autograph sessions a little quieter than usual.  Clif asks them after what their plans are for the night, but both just opt to go back to the hotel and their respective rooms.  The next morning is a quiet ride with Clif back to the convention hotel.  

The guys are in the green room waiting for the start of the Gold Panel.

“I, uh, talked with Gen last night.  Y/N, got home safe last night.  She was still a bit upset at being caught off guard like that.  I told Gen what you said about the interview.  Not sure Y/N will believe us though.”

“Thanks, man.  Um, how’s Tom?”

“Good.  Keeps us on our toes, for sure.  I can’t imagine how crazy it’ll be with two.  He asked yesterday before I left when he could talk to you again.”

“I miss my buddy.  Wait.  Did you say two?”

“Yeah.”

“Gen’s pregnant?  Congrats buddy.”  Jensen moves to give his friend a hug.

“Thanks.  I thought we talked about this a month ago in Chicago?  Hasn’t Y/N said anything to you?”

Jensen is quiet for a few minutes, he can’t believe he missed this news.  Had the two of you talked about it?  Did Jared already tell him?  

They continue talking before going on stage.  The conversation doesn’t get deep, but they are trying to find their rhythm and work past this sinkhole in their friendship.  They have to make it work on stage very shortly.  It will take some time before things are like they were before, but neither one wants to lose a 10 year friendship.

The gold panel questions aren’t vetted first, so anything goes.  Which of course means there is going to be a question about the breakup eventually.

“Jensen we are so sorry to hear about what happened between you and Y/N, it’s just awful.  How are you holding up?” Someone questions.

He knows he needs to try and nip this before it keeps going.  “Thanks.  I will say this, and then I would appreciate it if there weren’t any more questions on this subject.  I had no intention of that coming out in the interview yesterday.  What’s going on is between Y/N and I.  Long distance can really suck.  You guys wouldn’t want to talk about your relationship troubles in front of hundreds of people.  I would hope you understand that we don’t either right now.”

When their afternoon panel comes around he has to make the same announcement at one point.  Jensen swears during photos and autographs that more fans than usual seem to be trying to flirt with him.

When they are finished for the day, Clif takes them both to the airport.  Their flights aren't too far apart in departure time.  Jensen tells Jared he’ll be back home in two weeks, and they talk about meeting up once he’s back in Texas.  After checking in, they head to their respective terminals.  

Jensen is waiting for his flight, feeling a little disappointed.  It would have hurt, but he would have liked to see you this weekend.  He’s spent a good part of the last 24 hours thinking about what Jared told him.  How you had been hurting for a while.  How had he not realized you weren’t happy any longer?

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 10

Tags

SPNForevers- @winchest09 @flamencodiva @whatareyousearchingfordean @waywardbeanie @deanwanddamons  @emoryhemsworth  @atc74 @sandlee44 @akshi8278  @fantasydevil2002 @writercole @440mxs-wife   @nervousfandom @lunarmoon8 @thoughts-and-funnies @downanddirtydean @katelyn--renee​ @that-one-gay-girl​ @lyarr24 @pineapleavocado @siospins2 @deans-spinster-witch​ ​ @ariesbabe1993​  @graciebear73  @stixnstripesworld​ @spnbaby-67  @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @charmed-asylum​ @winchestergirl2 @jawritter @hobby27 @amyzombie1013  @sexyvixen7 @leigh70 @krazykelly @nancymcl @candy-coated-misery0731 @kmc1989 @supraveng

WIAFA Masterlist

@woodworthti666 @spnfamily-j2 @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @kaz11283 @deans-baby-momma @let-me-luv-you @senjoritanana @itzabbyxx @djs8891 @tmb510 @perpetualabsurdity @mellyie @fiftyshadesgrl @jessicalynnann @prettyinplaid94

[winterrose527]

I know you explore male and female friendships in All the Same a bit. I’m actually working on friendships in therapy rn and have been thinking about female friendships a LOT so I’m curious what triggered this exploration for you?

Oh I have so many thoughts about female friendships, but I think when I started it I was in a sort of place with my university best friend that felt horrible, and it was made worse by the questions from my father and brother about it, that were always asked with a sort of high-handed you're making this harder than it needs to be because you're an emotional woman sort of thing (I know, surprising behavior from them). And I just felt like screaming at them because I know what their friendships are like. I know what their friendships with the men that they consider their best friends are like, and while no less important they are significantly less detailed than female friendships. They can go days, weeks, months without really talking to them and there is no weirdness, no need to spend hours catching up on the specifics of what had happened in their lives because they don't require context or continuity to maintain them.

My best friend knows what days I decide to go into the office. She knows if I closed a deal I've been working on. She knows if I like the new toner I got, and what I decided to wear for family dinner. She knows why it is a big deal when one of my uncles says something that would seem normal to anyone else. She knows how I did on wordle. She knows if I've been having trouble sleeping, and how my dog is doing on our walks.

My best friend, her sister, and her niece were all texting me at the same time about the same thing a couple of weeks ago. Her sister and I text about books, and her nieces will only take my opinions on Taylor Swift. Her brother-in-law has come to my apartment to check on a swollen lymph node and while there he wrote down my suggestions for what to get his mother in law for her birthday. I have bookmarks in my computer with different pieces of furniture she is thinking of buying. When she tells a story with vague details, I know who she is talking about without any context.

She knows my coffee order, my drink order, and the things I don't want in my salad. When we both lived in the city and she would be traveling for work, I would bring over groceries so that she'd have something in her apartment when she'd get back and her doormen would let me sneak in because they knew me so well.

We don't live in the same state and we are so intertwined in each other's lives. Men have no idea what it takes to maintain that level of specificity, that level of closeness. They often take a superior tone of guys just being more loyal, less catty, but it is easy not to get swept away when you're swimming in the shallows.

It was never a suggestion that one friendship type is more valuable than the other, but I was getting really fed up with the dismissiveness. It felt the way people are like "well if I can balance my checkbook why can't the government balance the budget"?

And I wanted to explore that in a story where I knew the characters would be receptive to it.

What are YOUR thoughts?

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ⛈️😶‍🌫️

It was still the same rainy day, a Friday. I wasn't at home. Nico picked me up, we had something planned. We wanted to catch up on our missed date, but before we could do this, N. had one last match, before he finally got 2 weeks off. It was not an official, important match, it was an internal thing organized by his club. A kind of.... summerbreak party? They split their 22 players into two teams each and the winning team got an additional cash bonus/reward.

I’ve never accompanied Nico to one of his soccer matches. This was my first time. I just can't handle certain people who will show up there. He knew that and didn’t expect me to accompany him. But this time, I just went along. I had a good feeling & I wanted N. back, as it was 2 months ago. I wanted Nico to take care of our Baby, what he had planned and promised, but he should take care of me too. So I decided to do my best to get him back.

Later at the soccer stadium, Nico introduced me to Damien’s Mom. He really didn’t leave me alone for a second, until he had to join his team-mates. Nico asked D.'s Mom to take care of me, while he was on the pitch, so I wouldn’t get lost there. And yea, Damien’s Mom was very nice. We both got along well from the start. After the match she invited us to their house, which was in the same area.

Once there, I got to know Damien’s dog. I didn't even know they had a dog? So cute! 🤍

Damien mentioned a.... summer party that was going to take place later. But Nico wasn’t sure we should go to this party? We were quite far from home and the heavy rain just didn’t stop. The weather was not getting any better. In addition, some roads were now closed due to heavy rain & storm. And looks like it’s gonna be canceled anyway. That's why Damien’s Mom offered N. & me, to stay the night there. Because... we’re not gonna make it back to town tonight.

While I was traveling with Nico far away from the city, chaos broke out at home too. The weather not only caused roadblocks and floods here, but also at home some odd thigs were going on. 🧐

Daniel came back! 😱😱 He was at my parents. He talked to them. After that, he made his way home. To our apartment,  where he met Ana, just a few hours later. Ana wasn’t home when Daniel showed up. But my Mom told her. Ana couldn’t believe it! She had to see Daniel herself.  So she headed to our apartment, despite the heavy rain. As she was about to ring the door phone, she saw him & Alex right there, infront of the door. Daniel just looked silently at Ana, carrying his things with him, as if he wanted to disappear again.

Ana: Daniel!!.....I can't believe it, you are barely back, now you're just going to take off again?

Daniel: .... What are you doing here? Are you alone? Where's your sister?.. And no, I'm not leaving. I’m staying!!

Alex: We just got his stuff out of the car. He’s not going to leave, he’s moving back to his apartment.

Ana: HIS, apartment..... Okay, I understand.

Alex: Where's your sister?

Ana: Lexi, huh? 🤨

Daniel: Ana, c'mon. I know about.... Lexi. Alex told me everything. I was pretty pissed at my brother, but that's not why I left!! I mean the friendship between him and......... Lexi. 🤨

Ana: Then why did you leave? You know.... I felt a bit guilty. I think you wanted to tell me the day we went to that club, right? I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I was distracted.

Daniel: Yea.... I tried but I didn’t!! However, it wasn’t your fault, Ana. You couldn’t have stopped me anyway. At that point, I was already way too deep in that shit. But before I can explain everything, I need to talk to your sister first.

Ana: You know she filed for divorce. My Mom told you. Is that why you came back?

Daniel: I’m not getting a divorce! I love your sister! We’re married. I also know about him! That... soccer player. But.... it's okay. I-... I forgive her.

Ana: You, forgive her? You pissed off!... But you're wrong, D... You, DO NOT know everything! There is one, tiny but important detail... you still need to know about. 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: Tell me!

Ana: I can't! That's Aleksa's job.... Sorry..... Call her!

Daniel: Um.... no. I’ll wait till she gets home safely. I need to talk to her in peace without being disturbed, you know?

Ana: Yea, I get you. As long as you don’t leave, that’s okay. But I think I’ll tell her. I... I can’t keep this to myself, I just have to call my sister.

Daniel: Okay. I do not mind. I'm here.... waiting for her.

And yes, she’ll call me right away and carefully tell me.... who’s back. But he was right, she should have waited until I got back home....

Previous/Next

[pocket-luv101]

Entangled

Fandom: Genshin Impact Ship: XiaoAether

Summary: Xiao braids Aether’s hair and makes him think of Lumine.

“Do you think Paimon will be back soon? I feel bad for tricking her but I couldn’t tell her that we wanted time alone. She’ll make a fuss. Paimon is so small yet she insists on protecting me. That’s why she refuses to leave my side. Though, it’s nice to have two people who care so much for me.” Aether grinned down at Xiao. He laid on his chest with their bare skin against each other’s.

He missed Xiao during his journey so he decided to visit Liyue. When he became trapped in Teyvat, his only thought was to find Lumine and return to their homeworld. Aether never expected to fall in love with both Xiao and the world he lived in. He still wanted to reunite with his sister but the thought of leaving Xiao was growing more difficult.

Aether shifted on the bed but he didn’t move off Xiao. He rested his cheek against his heart and then traced a flower pattern over the scar on his shoulder. Adepti healed quickly so the wound must’ve been deep for it to leave a scar. He wondered how many invisible wounds he had that faded physically but not emotionally. With that thought, he tenderly kissed the scar.

“I think she only left because she knew you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.” After countless battles, no one would question Xiao’s power and skill with the spear. However, Aether’s words weren't for his strength alone. His steadfast will and loyalty was rare in people. Aether had traversed countless planets but he never met someone like Xiao.

“Will she yell that I allowed a demon to hurt you after she sees this mark?” His fingers teased the hickey on Aether’s neck. A bright red blush rose on his neck and seemingly followed his light touch. His long hair covered it now but it would be impossible to hide once he braided his hair. A possessive side of Xiao didn’t want Aether to hide the mark. He kept himself from voicing the thought though.

“Hopefully, she won’t notice.” Paimon knew that Xiao and Aether were dating but he wanted to avoid the awkwardness of discussing the details of their intimate relationship. He saw her as a younger sister after four years of travelling together. They asked Paimon to pick up ingredients from Zhongli while they started cooking. Between the flight to Liyue Harbour and Zhongli’s long lectures, they had a few hours to themselves.

In the afterglow of sex, they laid together and simply talked. They had been apart for longer than either of them wanted and they took the opportunity to catch up. Aether stroked his thumb over Xiao’s cheek and then played with the long strands of his hair. He made a small braid. “It should be easy to distract her with almond tofu. That’s something surprising that you two have in common.”

Aether felt a grumble ran through Xiao’s chest and he chuckled in response. He knew that he was merely teasing him but he didn’t want to be compared to Paimon. Xiao placed his hand on Aether’s hip and slowly moved them so he was on top of him. If only he could wake to the same sight each morning: Aether laying in his bed with his long hair spread out beneath him. He took a lock of blond hair and lifted it to his lips. He smelled like dandelions and dewdrops from his travels.

The soft knock against the wooden window frame startled them as though it was a sword clash. Xiao’s body stiffened and he reflexively moved to cover Aether. He only relaxed when Aether placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s just a bird.”

“I’m sorry.” Xiao muttered and turned away from him. When he started to pull away, Aether wrapped his arms around his neck and drew him back. There wasn’t a hint of judgement in his amber eyes as he shook his head. They didn’t need to exchange words for him to understand. Aether had been through difficult battles like Xiao’s so he would never shame him for his reaction or nightmares.

He let him go when the bird persistently tapped on the window for their attention. Xiao pulled on his pants and then went to untie the note from the animal’s leg. As Aether picked up his clothes from the ground to dress as well, he watched Xiao from the corner of his eyes. He wondered what the letter could be. Aether hoped that it wasn’t a dangerous commission or request.

He was dressed when Xiao finished reading the letter. His expression didn’t change and Aether hoped it meant that he didn’t have to leave. Xiao held out the note to him and explained: “Zhongli wrote that Paimon is on her way back. He suspected what we had planned when she asked him for the ingredients. He thought this warning would be helpful.”

“We should get the almost tofu ready for when Paimon arrives.”

Aether walked in front of the mirror and rushed to braid his hair. His reflection joined him and he carefully gathered his hair into his hands. “I can braid it for you.”

He saw the way Aether’s fingers clutched at his own hair and uncertainty passed over his amber eyes. His reaction to his offer to help confused him. A mix of sad nostalgia and loss shaded his expression. Xiao started to comfort him but he hesitated to stroke his hair as he usually would. Had he made him uncomfortable? They had been far more intimate beyond touching his hair.

Aether leaned back against Xiao’s strong chest and closed his eyes. His warmth was comforting and it chased away his loneliness. “I haven’t had someone braid my hair since the day my sister was taken. I don’t mind if you do it for me now.”

“You’ll find her once again.” Xiao reassured him. Aether nodded but they both knew that it would be difficult to find Lumine. The future was uncertain and Teyvat was unfamiliar to him. Whether the Abyss or Celestia stood between them, Aether needed to speak with her again and understand her reasons.

He forced the doubt on his mind and focused on Xiao’s fingers in his hair. He tenderly combed his fingers through his hair before he started to braid it. The first night they danced under the xiao lanterns together, Xiao had told him that he eased the heavy burden on his heart. Aether hoped hat Xiao knew that he did the same for him. He always tried to hide his loneliness and fears.

“When I woke up after being sealed, I was completely alone. It would be a few months before I met Paimon. Until then, I had to learn about this world on my own. Teyvat is similar to other worlds that I’ve been to so I was able to scavenge food and make a small camp.” Xiao could hear the loneliness in his voice. He wished that he could’ve found him that night and saved him.

Aether bit his lip as he recalled the first night he spent as a stranger alone in the world. He continued: “It must sound pathetic that I couldn’t braid my hair that first morning. Lumine always braided it for me and I didn’t have a mirror to help. Long hair is difficult to maintain in the wild and it gets in the way while fighting. I almost considered cutting it. But then I worried that my own sister wouldn’t recognize me.”

“You’re not alone anymore.” Xiao vowed. He secured the braid in place and then kissed his temple. “I won’t let you feel that way ever again.”

[littledrummeraussie]

I hope you’re still accepting blurbs, could I have a comfort one with poly!cashton? 🥺 been feeling blue lately and that no one cares about me and I need some of your fluff. Thank you thank you sweet Angie💕💗

Dear Hailey 💗  this one is angsty and full of feelings, but I do hope you find some comfort in it as well! 💗

This little blurb also takes place in the All The Things We Dream About universe.

masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist? | Christmas Blurb Fest 2022

I’ll hold you until we are whole again. [a poly!Cashton comfort blurb]

warnings: poly!relationship. mentions of a small non-descriptive, unnamed accident. time spent apart. struggles in a relationship. lots of angst and tears. a small shiny ray of hope and love at the end. aka Ashton needs to travel back home, and Calum and Y/N have to manage their lives without their boyfriend.

word count: 2326

----------

“Hey, how was your flight? Did you arrive safely?”

“I need a shower, I smell like plane,” Ashton groaned on the other side of the line, probably rubbing his face tiredly. “Lauren is picking me up in ten then she’ll take me to Mom.”

“How are they doing?” Calum asked next to you, the phone strategically placed between the two of you on the table so both of you could speak to Ashton.

“They manage, but I think it will be better now that I’m here,” Ash continued, his voice sounding a bit strained and quiet. “I’ll take care of them until we figure everything out.”

You exchanged a look with Calum, both of you thinking of the same thing – how Ashton always took it upon himself to make sure everyone was okay, that they were fed and showered and slept at least 6 hours, taking medications and looking after their mental health. Not just the two of you, but Michael and Luke as well, their friends as well, and his whole family back in Australia.

That’s where he was currently, halfway across the world, waiting for his sister to pick him up so he could help Lauren and Harry take care of their Mom who had a small accident which left her bedridden. It only took him a day to arrange everything and before you knew it he was out of the door, already heading home to help where he could. Both of you wished that you could join him, but your workplace wouldn’t have let you go on such short notice for more than a few days, and Cal needed to overtake some of the band stuff Ashton left behind. You also had a feeling that they agreed to Calum staying so you wouldn’t be alone while Ash was helping his family.

“I already miss you, though,” Ashton confessed, murmuring his words into the speaker. “Do you think we could schedule a video call tomorrow? And maybe by then I’ll know more that I can share too…”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see when we’re both available and let you know, okay?” Cal nodded like Ashton was able to see him, so used to having him by his side. “You just go and take care of Anne Marie. And get some sleep too, you sound tired.”

“I am,” he sighed, and you wanted more than anything to reach out and hug him, let him cuddle close to you and fall asleep. “I gotta go, Lauren is here.”

“Just… call us if you need anything, okay? Doesn’t matter what’s the time,” you added, hoping that Ash will remember it – he tended to forget about his own needs when he put others first.

“I love you, both of you,” Ashton finally said, and you could hear how much he meant it, how much he really appreciated you and Cal being so supportive and being there for him.

“We love you too, Ash,” Calum replied, and you hummed in agreement, whispering a quiet ‘love you’ as well.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Now go to sleep, you stayed up way too late because of me,” a laugh slipped out of him, and you were sure his cheeks were tinted pink. “Sorry about that.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time…” your other boyfriend made another comment, and after catching another quick laugh from Ashton the call was disconnected.

Calum reached for you and grabbed your waist, pulling you from your chair and into his lap, wrapping his arms around you. Yours settled around his neck, fingers diving into his soft dark locks, eyes trained on each other.

“Let’s get you into bed, okay?,” he finally said, and pressed his lips against your cheek. “You look tired.”

“Is it okay if I say that I already miss Ashton from our bed?” the confession left you before you could stop yourself, burrowing closer to Calum.

“Of course. I miss him too,” he rubbed your back soothingly, whispering against your ear. “I also sleep best when both of you are next to me. But for now we have each other, so let’s take care of us until our grumpy boyfriend is back home, okay?”

“Okay,” you mumbled, a smile pulling at your lips at Calum’s not-so-secret nickname for Ashton.

Calum tilted your chin up towards him and kissed you, taking a little bit of extra time with it to make up for Ashton’s absence. You let him carry you upstairs and into the bedroom, Duke curled up against your stomach in bed as Calum held you from behind, whispering softly to help you fall asleep, and promising that your boyfriend will be back soon, you won’t even notice that he was gone.

You desperately wished that that was true.

.

You tried your best, you really did – but it was hard to stay positive when Ashton told you a few days later that he definitely needed to stay for two weeks, maybe even more, and with that Calum started to spend more and more time on his phone and laptop, discussing band things with their management, or arranging meetings with the others to talk over whatever idea or info Ashton has sent them. You also did your best to focus on your own job, hoping it will distract you enough that you don’t think about missing your boys, but most of the time it was futile.

Both of you were tired by the time you came back home, only having enough energy to send a message to Ashton and hope he was available for a quick chat, then after dinner you usually found yourselves in bed, Calum falling asleep before his head hit the pillow. But you found that your sleep was restless, even with your boyfriend holding you close, soft breaths tickling your ear as he slumbered. You knew you were overreacting it all: Ashton needed to take care of his Mom, and Calum had to take over his tasks to make the band run smoothly.

And you – well, you felt like you worried too much about Ashton and expected too much from Calum, and that was driving you crazy. You knew Ash was well capable of taking care of himself and his family at the same time, that he didn’t need you to worry about his well-being or mental health, that if he needed something from the two of you he would just tell you. And yet you felt like you were letting him down, that you should do more than this, make his life easier while he was back in Australia, not just feeling sorry for him and yourself from the distance.

And then there was Calum, who suddenly didn’t have that much time on his hands because he was working for the two of them so the band did not fall behind on their schedule, who was trying to keep everything running smoothly while still making sure you were okay too. He was doing his best and tried to give you as much attention as they usually would together with Ashton, but you felt like it was too much energy for one and that you might have been too needy. He deserved a break too, and you wanted to give it to him, to them, not wanting to burden any of your boys with your own made up problems.

.

“Hey, sweets? Are you okay?”

You didn’t realize Calum stopped speaking, or that there were tears streaming down your face. Frustratedly you wipe at your eyes, hoping he did not see them, quickly shaking your head.

“I’m fine…”

“You don’t seem fine,” he pursed his lips, crouching down next to you. “You wanna talk about it?”

The words in your throat desperately wanted to escape, and you gripped the hem of Ashton’s hoodie you stole from his closet to swallow them down. Because you were not okay, you were ready to fall apart. Ashton’s been away for almost three weeks, with no news about his arrival back home while Calum’s been trying to juggle two separate roles at the same time, and it made you feel selfish that he needed to focus on your bad mood now too. You curled up in a ball in front of the couch, knees pulled up to your chest as you hid your face, doing your best to hold yourself together.

“Y/N? Baby, what happened?”

“I’m fine, I’m just…” you hiccupped, voice muffled as you choked on your words. “I’m okay, don’t– don’t worry about me…”

“To hell with that!” Calum scoffed loudly, settling down next to you and pulling you into his arms, at which more sobs bubbled up from your chest. “Tell me love, please? Let me help you. I’m always here, you know that, right?”

It was like the floodgates opened at his words, because it was true, and you hated yourself for it – because of course he was always there, that was one of the problems. You cannot expect him to tire himself out looking after you. You hated yourself for being so needy with Calum, for worrying so much about Ash, for missing him this much even though this wasn’t the first time he was away for long weeks. You felt like you didn’t appreciate Calum enough, that you took his love for granted. You felt like your head’s going to explode, along with your heart.

“…and I miss Ashton too, I do,” Calum whispered against your ear as he cradled your head to his chest, his own voice teary, and you realized that you just said it all out loud, and that Calum was currently responding to all your feelings you’ve been bottling up since Ash left. “It’s really hard without him, I know. I’m so used to him being here with us, I don’t think I’ve spent more than a few days apart from him in the last 10 years. And I know you do this all the time while we are on tour, and I can imagine it does not get easier.”

“Cal, I–”

“And I promise you you’re not taking my love for you granted, and I’m sure Ashton would say the same. Because we both love you very much, and it’s not a burden, you’re not a burden. We take care of you because we love you, and we want you to tell us when you’re struggling and feeling low. Don’t bottle these feelings up, we want to know what is going on with you. You are our girlfriend and you always come first.”

“I really don’t deserve your love,” you gathered all your strength to move into his lap, arms hugging his neck and burrowing into him, crying against his shoulder.

“Don’t say that,” Cal mumbled against your ear, warm hand caressing your back up and down to sooth you while he also swallowed back tears. “I love you. You gotta accept that.”

“I love you too, Cal,” you snuggled close, trying to quieten the last of your sobs.

.

“I really wish Ashton was here…”

It’s been long minutes since you calmed down a little, a few quiet sobs still bubbling up every now and then, and Calum tried to help you talk through all your feelings you’ve been avoiding for weeks now.

“I know, baby, me too,” he kissed the top of your head, using the sleeve of his sweater to wipe away his own tears. “We gotta get our shit together before we speak to him, don’t you think?”

“I would rather you just tell me…” the voice came from the direction of the door, and both Calum and you looked that way, finding Ashton standing there with his luggage next to him.

He looked weary and like he needed a shower and a proper hug, curls hanging over his forehead and his glasses, dark circles under his eyes. Before you knew it he shrugged off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor while quickly kicking off his shoes, letting them land in a heap behind the couch before rounding it and dropping down next to you, his arms curling around the both of you.

“Hey honeys, I’m home,” Ash hooked his chin over your shoulder, a long sigh leaving his lips. “I fucking missed you too.”

“You didn’t tell us you were coming,” Cal murmured, no heat in his voice as his forehead knocked against Ashton’s. “Would have picked you up.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Ash said, manoeuvring his body around yours until he was able to pull you to his chest while settling against Calum’s side, all three of you cuddled up in a pile. “Guess I was the one who got surprised… Hey, it’s okay, shhh baby! I’m here!”

You sobbed into his neck, suddenly feeling overwhelmed from your confession to Calum and the fact that Ashton came back home, holding both of you tightly against his body. You heard Cal sniffle above you, and Ash also took off his glasses to wipe at his eyes, his voice a little weak when he spoke again.

“I guess we all just need to hold each other a little tighter tonight.”

“It was a long three weeks without you,” Calum let his head rest on top of his, and Ash nodded, adjusting you in his lap as you started calming down again.

“I just wanna be with you two,” Ashton confessed, kissing your cheek and then Calum’s as well, his body slowly going lax. “Just want to be us again. Want to feel whole again.”

You quietly mumbled your love for them against his shirt as you found your words, voice still a little teary, but full of love, and they whispered their confessions right back to you, the three of you in a pile on the floor, trying to mend the pieces of your hearts which were not broken, but definitely needed some tender loving care from each other to properly heal – to be whole again.

----------

@mymindwide @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @suchalonelysunflower @talkfastromance4 @ashtonsunflower @in-superbloom @wiiildflowerrr @lovelywordsblog @heyitskelseaj @whentherosesbl00m

[shadowisles-writes]

Heatwave (Part 3) [Elriel]

A/N: I’m a little late for the writing circle but very excited to be posting my first Elriel fic. I’m not used to this ship dynamic so it was super fun to explore! If you haven’t yet, you can read part 1 by @secret-third-thing and part 2 by @starfall-spirit by clicking on the links. You can also find all the works from this writing circle in this masterlist. The fic is also available on AO3 here, and all the works can be found in the ACOTAR Writing Circle 3 collection.

Word count: 2094

.

Elain smiled at the pastel pink decal she had just finished sticking on her window. The beautiful logo Feyre had designed for her was perfect to match the vibes she had wanted for her flower shop. It was printed all over business cards, stamped on tags and on the paper she wrapped her bouquets with.

After a couple of months on the road, she was ready for her new start. Travelling had provided her with a desperately needed break. She had gotten space from her old life, from her family, from everything that had been holding her back.

Elain had used that time for introspection and somewhere along the road managed to make decisions to grasp the life she truly wanted. For now, it looked like an apartment close to her sisters and her own pastel colored flower shop.

And Azriel.

Elain wished she could say she wasn’t settling somewhere because of a man she hardly knew, but she was. Azriel had been a constant in her life even while traveling. She sent him pictures of the places she visited, he replied with pictures of places he’d take her to when she was back in New England.

They talked every day. Sometimes for hours, sometimes for quick check-ins or to reply to a picture the other had sent. Gradually, pictures of the places Elain visited began to be more focused on Elain herself in said places. It didn’t take long for selfies to be exchanged at random times of the day. Elain in ridiculous tourist hats, Azriel at work.

She didn’t really know when they slipped up to pictures in bed. Perhaps they’d been talking too late one evening, and the only selfie Azriel could take was a shirtless one. Elain rarely slept in more than a tank top, and it was all downhill from there.

They hadn’t gotten far, but her hidden folder already included some of those pictures where he was obviously displaying his muscled chest. They weren’t inappropriate per say, but considering the feelings they elicited in Elain, she preferred keeping them out of her regular camera roll.

She could have traveled for another month, maybe more, if it hadn’t been for him. The pull between them had been undeniable from the start. They had been stumbling over their words, hanging out and obviously attracted to each other but too awkward for it to lead to anything. The separation had helped them become more comfortable, and they had fallen into an easy friendship the moment she came back.

Since then, Azriel had been in the shop every day to help her paint and set up for her opening date. Her sisters had stopped by too, but they hadn’t been willing to get their hands dirty.

“It looks beautiful,” Azriel brought Elain back to the present. He stood beside her, admiring the sign they’d been so stressed about sticking on straight.

“Thank you,” she beamed. “For everything, I mean… I could have never done this without your help.”

“Sure you could have,” he smiled. “All I did was tell you there was space available and give you a phone number.”

“Oh, is that all you did?” She raised an eyebrow and turned to face him, her hands on her hips. “How about going to see said space for me while I was traveling to send me the exact measurements and make sure it was suitable for a flower shop?”

“It was no trouble,” Azriel shrugged.

“Uh uh,” Elain continued. “And building all the shelves and stands?”

Another shrug. “I had time to spare.”

“Setting up the counters and sink in the back?”

“I wouldn’t dream of letting a friend do that alone.”

“Yes, because friends is what we are,” Elain’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

That was deserving of a lengthier answer at least. “You’re opening in five minutes, do we need to have this conversation right now?”

Elain felt her heart squeeze. “Are you anticipating it’s going to be a long one?” She asked carefully.

“No.” The lack of hesitation in Azriel’s response helped her settle. “I’m anticipating we’re going to spend a lot of time not talking.”

“Oh,” Elain realized and felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Her face burned and she knew she must have been red, but he didn’t comment on it.

“Flip the sign, El.” Azriel nodded to the door. “Today is about you, and your new start here. Tonight we can talk, and not talk, if you’re up for it.”

“It’s a plan.”

Elain turned her newly painted sign so it would show the word “open” to the people on the street and wiped her sweaty hands on her clean apron. She walked around the stand in the middle one last time, checking that every flower was in the right place before she went to stand behind the counter.

Azriel sat on a stool close behind her and surveyed the street through the window. It wasn’t busy with how early it was, but Elain’s heart was still hammering in her chest as she waited for her very first customer.

Her sisters and their husbands had all promised to stop by for the opening; Elain had asked them to wait until the afternoon. She didn’t want her first sale to be to them, she needed a real client, enticed by her window display or whatever else could drive them in.

The shop was silent. They waited five minutes, then ten, then twenty. People walked past on their way to work, too busy on their phones or running to catch a bus to look toward the shop. Minute by minute, Elain’s hope for a successful first day deflated.

She hadn’t expected a crowd, but someone—anyone would have been nice. They didn’t even need to buy, just come in, say hello and maybe something nice about the shop or the arrangements Elain had spent hours making.

“Is it always this quiet?” Elain eventually broke and turned to face Azriel.

“It’s not even nine,” he reminded her. “You’re seeing the working crowd rush past, but the rest will be out soon.”

“I guess,” she nodded. “Do you think I should have put something outside?”

“Do you want me to put on a giant flower costume and go flip a big sign pointing to the shop?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Elain rolled her eyes, but she was smiling again. The idea of Azriel who was always dressed in black in some ugly flower costume was enough to make her want to laugh again. She knew he’d do it for her—even as a joke—if she really asked. “I’ll just wait.”

“It won’t be long,”

“Sure,” she walked back to the front of the shop to get a better look at the town square. “You don’t have to stay here, by the way. It’s not very exciting right now.”

“It’s your first day, there’s nowhere else for me to be.”

Elain smiled, pretending to detangle the golden pothos that hung in close to the window. “Who knew you’d be so awfully romantic.”

“I’m sitting in a flower shop with a woman in a long pink dress, I figured romance might be your thing.” Azriel tapped his fingers on his thigh, head cocked to the side with a knowing smile.

He wasn’t wrong, but Elain had already learned he was more sensitive than he let on. “Don’t go pretending you’re cold hearted yourself.”

“Definitely not with you.”

She snorted. “You’re getting mushy again.”

“Stop deflecting, El.”

“You’re the one who said we should talk later tonight, now you’re distracting me—” Elain faced him with her fists on her hips. “You’re distracting me.”

“It worked,” Azriel gave her a slightly guilty look, but it was edged with a smile. “Though I can try harder if you’d like.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.”

“Will you?” He licked his lips and looked her up and down.

Elain felt a rush of heat blaze beneath her skin. She didn’t move as he got up from his stool, suddenly making them much more aware of the size difference between them. He stalked closer, her eyes fixated on him with every step he took. A predatory grin spread on his face, and Elain would have melted on the spot if it hadn’t been for the gentle chime of the bell she’d installed above the door.

“Good morning!” She slipped into her cheerful persona in an instant, greeting the woman and toddler who were just entering her shop.

Azriel disappeared, silent as he slipped behind the counter and hid in the back of the shop. He was probably eavesdropping to find out if her first customer bought anything, but at least he wouldn’t be a distraction when she needed her focus.

“Hi!” The toddler exclaimed and waved just as the woman said a soft hello.

“If you need advice or help finding anything, don’t hesitate to let me know,” Elain gave her most charming smile and tucked herself behind the counter so her customers wouldn’t feel too watched as they went around the shop.

The woman let go of the child’s hand, letting him walk past plants and bouquets. She gently placed a hand in front of his when he tried to reach for a yellow flower, reminding him that they were fragile and he couldn’t just grab it. Elain smiled at the exchange.

She remembered being young and wanting to pick every pretty flower she found, whether they grew wildly in a field or in a big decorative pot in the middle of a street. Her parents never had that gentleness when scolding her.

“What do you think, this one or this one?” The woman asked from behind the stand, holding two bouquets Elain couldn’t see. The young boy didn’t hesitate and was trusted to carry the bouquet all the way to the counter.

“Thank you,” Elain leaned over to grab it when he held it up as high as his little arms could. “That’s a very good choice.”

It was made of pink peonies, some fern and foliage to make the pastel colors stand out. The bouquet was classic—simple but pretty.

“Did you find everything you needed today?” She began to wrap a pretty pale pink paper around the bouquet and tied it off with a brighter ribbon in matching tones.

“Yes, thank you,” the woman smiled. “This is a beautiful shop, I’ve never seen it before. Did you open recently?”

“Thank you so much, I just opened this morning,” Elain beamed.

“Well we’ll make sure to come by again.” The woman pulled out her credit card as Elain told her what the total was and handed her a card to go with the bouquet in case she wanted to write a note.

“That would be lovely, and oh, hold on a second,” she stepped through the small alcove to the back of the shop, grinning at Azriel who leaned against a wall to wait, and retrieved a yellow flower identical to the one the little boy had reached for.

“Oh,” the woman smiled. “Look at that!”

“This is for you,” Elain went around the counter and bent to the child’s height.

“Thank you,” he gave her a toothy grin as his mother reached for the bouquet she had just bought.

“Thank you,” the woman echoed. “Have a nice day.”

“You too.”

Elain waited until the door was completely closed to let out an excited squeal. She turned around to find Azriel already close and threw her arms around his neck. His hands rested on her back, pulling her closer as he kissed her temple.

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Elain breathed out, still grinning. She pulled out of the hug and shook her hands out excitedly. “God I know it’s just one sale but that felt really good.”

“Step one to the most successful flower shop in the city. I think we’re going to need a celebratory dinner tonight.” Azriel smiled back.

“I agree.” She checked her apron was still in place and glanced towards the door to see if they were still alone. “I can also think of other ways to celebrate after dinner.”

“Enlighten me.”

The chime of the door was just in time to save Elain from the rush of blood that was sure to make her cheeks bright red. Azriel retreated, but she knew he’d continue their conversation the moment they were alone again. The push and pull would go on for the entire day, as if there wasn’t already enough anticipation between them.

Elain would need all of her patience to resist falling right into him before closing time.

[dottielovegood]

Trick or Treat (Elriel)

Chapter 1/2: What to wear? Rating: Explicit Read on AO3 ________________________________

It’s been a year since Elain and Azriel met at a Halloween party. That time, they were dressed as Kylo Ren and Rey. What will their costumes be this year?

(the second chapter should be posted around Halloween)

---------------------------------------- This is the second part of my Halloween fic that I wrote last year. If you want to read part one, you can find it here

One year. 

It had almost been an entire year since I met Azriel at a Halloween party. One year since I asked the tall guy dressed as Kylo Ren to be my fake-date. A year since he asked me if I wanted to leave said party and go to his place. 

A lot can happen in a year. 

A year ago I was living with my sister, Nesta, in a small apartment. I had sworn off men after my ex, Graysen, cheated on me and almost gave me chlamydia. Most nights, I lay awake, watching Star Wars just to make the hours go by. My life was boring. Monotonous. And a bit sad. 

And then he walked into my life. Or maybe I walked into his? 

Either way, my entire life was changed in just one night. Not only because I had the most mind blowing sexual experience of my life (which I did have, thank you very much), but because Azriel was everything I had been missing. Before him, I thought that relationships were supposed to be difficult. Growing up, I had been told that relationships required hard work. I thought that I had to give and give and give until there was nothing left, just to make the relationship work. And if a relationship failed, it was probably my fault for not trying hard enough. 

And then, I met Azriel. And I thought that he was like other men. I thought that he just wanted a one night stand. I thought that he asked me out after having sex with me just to make himself feel a bit better about fucking me like that. I thought that he would leave me, just like everyone else.  

But he didn’t, and he didn’t let me leave, either. And for the first time in my life, I don’t have to fight. For the first time in my life, everything just feels right. We are just right. 

After dating for only six months, I moved into his apartment. I was already spending most of my time there anyway, and Nesta wasn’t exactly sad about getting to live by herself. I worried about living together at first. What if he were to grow bored of me? What if we started fighting about silly things like doing the dishes or putting the lid back on the toothpaste? 

I needn’t have worried. Since moving in with Azriel, there have been exactly zero fights. Sure, we’ve had discussions and sometimes, we have to compromise, yet we never fight. Before him, I thought that passion came from fighting. Now, I almost laugh at my old self. She had no idea what passion was. No fucking clue. 

Now, I know. 

“Hi,” I said as I stepped out of the bathroom. Azriel was half laying, half sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone. The room was dark except for two candles on the side table that I had lit earlier in the evening. As most Fridays, we had spent the evening together - having dinner and watching a movie. It was my favorite part of the week. 

“Hi,” he said, his eyes still on his phone. That wouldn’t do. 

I cleared my throat and gave him my most innocent look. “Do you like my outfit?”

Finally, Azriel looked at me. Phone suddenly forgotten, he sat up a bit straighter. “Is that my shirt, Elain?” I could practically feel his eyes traveling down my body. I stroked my hands over the fabric of his black t-shirt.

“Yes.” I played with the hem of the shirt. I knew how much he loved seeing me in his clothes. After that first night we spent together, he had given me a shirt to sleep in. I thought nothing of it back then - I just thought he was being polite. But little did I know that it’s his odd way of marking his territory. Not that I mind. It’s an easy way to get him excited - I just have to put on something of his and then I have him wrapped around my finger. 

Azriel was staring at my feet, a smile playing on his lips. “I like the socks.”

I wiggled my toes in my fuzzy sock. They had little pumpkins on them - which was very fitting for this time of year. “The floor is cold,” I pouted. 

“Hmm,” Azriel put his phone down on the coffee table and sat back, opening his arms. “Better come warm yourself up, then”. 

As I said - wrapped around my finger. 

I smiled and made my way over to him. He was wearing his blue and maroon pyjama bottoms and - shockingly - a blue t-shirt. Most people would assume that his favorite color was black, seeing that he only wore black outside the house. But here, in our home, he actually wore many different colors. Sometimes, it felt like our little secret. Like I was privy to things that nobody else knew about this man. Like the fact that his favorite color is actually blue - not black. 

I leaned forward and placed my hands on his shoulders and my legs on either side of his hips. I sank down until I was straddling him. His hands instantly went to my thighs, caressing my skin just where his t-shirt ended. 

I let my lips ghost over his. I could feel his breath on my lips, feel his heartbeat underneath my palm where it rested on his chest. “I love you,” I whispered. He closed the distance between us, kissing me softly. Slowly. Like he was savoring the taste. “You are my everything, Elain,” he said in between kisses and I melted against him. How did I get this lucky? Some days, I was certain that my life was a dream and that one day, someone would pinch me and I would wake up because surely, life couldn’t be this good? 

But it was. Life was this good and he was this good and he was mine and we were everything I had ever wished for. He was every dream I ever dreamed. He was soft and kind and gentle. He took care of me and loved me in a way no one had ever done before. And then, there was this other part of him. The part I had only gotten a glimpse of that night a year ago. The part that made me burn all over and beg for things I didn’t even know I wanted.  That side of him was usually reserved for the bedroom. Reserved for me . It was like living in the best of both worlds, like the wise philosopher Hannah Montana once sang. 

We kissed for minutes, or hours, or maybe years. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind spending years like this - in Azriel’s lap, kissing and tasting and touching. God, I hoped that this was just the first year of many to come. 

After a while, I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his chest. His heartbeat was my favorite sound. “I can’t believe that it’s almost been a year,” I sighed. I pressed myself impossibly closer to him. One of his hands stroked up my back as he kissed the top of my head. “Best year of my life.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Mine too.” Azriel’s fingers played with my hair and I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy just being here with him, like this. “Thank god you wanted to be my fake date,” I said, smiling at the memory of him in his Kylo Ren costume. Azriel chuckled. “And thank god that you weren’t disappointed when I removed the mask.” “And thank god that you weren’t one of those guys who hate Rey.”

“And thank god that you wanted to leave that party with me.”

I sat up straighter again, my hands cradling his neck. I played with the short strands of his hair as I met his gaze. “And thank god for the leather gloves,” I said playfully. 

Azriel laughed, “Who knew you had a glove kink?”

“I surely didn’t.”

He leaned forward and kissed my nose. “Is that your way of saying that I should wear gloves more often?”

“Maybe.” I wiggled my but a little, knowing fully well what kind of reaction that would get me. Azriel tensed and gave me a stern look. “But I think you’re doing pretty well without them.” I continued and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” I breathed against his lips. “Speaking of Halloween,” I continued. “We really need to decide what we are going to wear to Rhys and Feyre’s party this year.” Our lips were just touching, teasing. I think we were both driving ourselves a little bit crazy. I was just about to turn the teasing into kissing when he pulled back slightly. “I was going to wear the same thing as last year.”

I frowned. “Really?”

“Yes. Why? Is that a problem? I thought you liked that costume.” One of his hands was now stroking my thigh just below the t-shirt. I had ridden up quite a bit, which meant that he was teasing the edge of my panties with his fingertips.

“I do like that costume,” I said, trying very hard to focus on our conversation and not his fingers. “But you can’t wear the same outfit two years in a row.”

“Why not? It’s not like anyone will remember what we wore last year, nor will they care.”

I frowned. “People will remember. And I care.”

“Then you can wear something else and I’ll go as Kylo.” The hand that wasn’t teasing my thigh was now at the base of my neck, angling my head so he had better access to my throat. The feeling of his lips on my jaw made a shiver run down my spine. 

“Azriel,” I began but the rest of the sentence caught in my throat when he kissed that sensitive spot just below my ear. “I want to wear matching costumes.”

He hummed against my skin but said nothing as he continued pressing gentle kisses down the column of my throat. 

“I had a few ideas,” I said, sounding breathless even to my own ears. 

“I’m listening,” Azriel said, his lips never leaving my skin. He moved his other hand from my thigh to my ass, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Well, I was thinking…” a moan escaped me as his teeth lightly scraped my neck. “Maybe we could go as Hermione and Draco. From Harry Potter.” 

Once again, Azriel pulled away. I almost whimpered at the loss of his lips on my skin. 

His eyes met mine and there was a small frown between his eyebrows. “They’re teenagers. In school uniforms.”

“If we do the movie version you can just wear a black suit since that’s what Draco wears in the last movies.”

“Hmm.” Azriel seemed to be turning the idea over in his head. “There is just one little problem with this plan.”

“What?”

“I’m not blond, Elain.”

I shrugged. “We could get you a wig.” He made a disgusted face. Okay, so no wigs. I stroked his soft hair with my fingertips. “Or we could dye it.”

Azriel let out a horrified laugh. “Over my dead body.” I pouted. “Please.” “I’m using my veto on this one,” he said, squeezing my ass again. “Any other ideas?” “Well, my other idea was Buffy and Spike.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, but I could see a small smile playing on his lips. “Any ideas that don't involve us dying our hair?” I took the opportunity to move my body against his. He was hard underneath me - had been hard since I sat down in his lap. God, I really wanted him to just have his way with me. But I also wanted to decide on a costume. What to do, what to do…

I could feel his entire body stiffen and his grip on my ass and neck tightened. “Elain…” I forced myself to think of Halloween costumes. Forced myself to not think about how good it would feel to have him inside me right now. I was going to get him to decide on something tonight. “Maybe Anakin and Padme?” “I was Anakin four years ago,” he said. His voice was lower now. Rougher. Like he was holding back.

“Really?”

“Yes. The older version.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “So, you were Darth Vader?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“I think you would have liked it. It involved gloves,” he teased. I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have a glove kink.”

“Sure you don’t,” he said under his breath. I leaned my forehead against his, grinding against him once more. I needed the friction. I needed so many things that only he could give me. “So, we can go as Padme and Anakin?” I moved against him again, earning myself a low growl in response. “Please?” I begged innocently. Azriel grabbed my hips with both hands, holding me still. “Are you using your body to persuade me, Elain?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

I gave him the sweetest smile I could muster. “I can be very persuasive.” He said nothing. He just looked down at where our bodies met and I knew that he was just as desperate as I was. He was going to go along with my request, I just knew it. 

“So, it’s decided?” I asked, desperate for him to just say yes already. 

There was a beat of silence before his eyes returned to mine. “Maybe…”

“Maybe?” “Maybe.” He pulled me closer until my core was pressed against his hardness. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped me. “But I might have an even better idea.”

I really hoped that his idea involved me getting my way when it came to Halloween costumes, and then him taking me right here on the couch.

“And what is your idea?”

He smirked and moved his hips slightly, making me gasp as his dick pressed against my clit in just the right way.

“Do you trust me?” he asked. He could have asked me almost anything at this point and the answer would have been yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. But I forced myself to keep at least a bit of my sanity. If only for a few more minutes. 

“You know I do.”

“And do you trust me enough to buy the costumes and give you yours on the day of the party.”

My entire body was screaming at me to say yes. To just give in. Especially when Azriel moved his hand and slid it between our bodies, finding that place I so desperately needed him to touch. But there was also a control freak inside of me telling me to not go along with this plan. There were too many things that could go wrong. 

I closed my eyes and forced myself to focus on anything but the his clever fingers and his heavenly scent and his stupid, handsome face. 

“No,” I rasped. “We have to decide now.”

“Hmm,” Azriel kissed my jaw. My eyes were still closed. “Do we now?”

“Yes.” The word was nothing more than a breath. Azriel was massaging my clit through my panties, his lips teasing my throat. He hummed against my skin. I let myself enjoy the sensations. Enjoy him. The hand on my hip disappeared for a moment just as Azriel’s hips shifted underneath me. I didn’t care. I didn't care about anything but the orgasm that was building inside me. I just needed a little more. Just a little…

And then his fingers were gone. “Azriel, what…” I didn’t even get the chance to finish my sentence before I could feel the head of his cock where his fingers had just been. I cursed myself for wearing underwear. I should have taken them off when I put on his shirt. Rookie mistake.  I forced myself to open my eyes, to look down.

Azriel was holding his cock in his hand, slowly moving against my aching core. I let out a shaky whimper at the sight. God, I needed him. We could continue this conversation later. “Azriel,” I pleaded, hoping that he knew what I was asking for. 

“Is this what you want, Elain? You want me to fill you up?” 

I almost felt my eyes roll back in my head at those words. God, this man and his dirty words did things to me. I nodded, silently begging him please, please, please. 

“Use your words,” he demanded, and the tone of his voice forced me to look up and meet his gaze. His eyes were dark. Hungry. He was done playing games. Or maybe, we were just starting to play? I didn’t really know. Didn’t care. I only cared about having him inside me.

“Yes,” I whispered. “Please.”

“Please, what?” 

This was his favorite game. The game where I, very specifically, told him exactly what I wanted. “Please, I want you inside.” I moaned when he moved his cock against my aching core again. “Please.”

The corner of Azriel’s mouth turned into something akin to a grin, but there was no teasing or playfulness in the way he looked at me. No, it was all dominance and power. “Move your panties to the side and show me exactly what you want,” he all but growled. 

I braced myself with one hand on his shoulder as I lifted my body. He held his cock as I moved my panties to the side, feeling how wet they were already. Would I ever get enough of this man? I doubted it. I moved again so the head of his cock was right at my entrance and it felt like a current running through my entire body. I needed him like I needed oxygen. I needed him to soothe the emptiness inside me. 

“Slowly,” he murmured as I started to lower myself onto him. I tried to focus on him, tried to look him in the eye as I took all of him inside me. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my moans. His cock stretched me, filled me. His name fell from my lips as I took him to the hilt, grinding down when he was fully sheathed inside me. 

“Good girl,” he murmured, returning his hands to my hips. 

I let myself get used to him - the feeling and the sheer size of him filling me up. I gripped his shoulder harder, needing something to keep me steady as moved. 

Or, tried to move. Because Azriel’s grip on me was bruising, unrelenting. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. What was he doing? “Does that feel good, sweetheart?” 

I could do nothing but nod. It felt too good. He always felt too good. But it was also torture. I needed friction. I needed more . 

As if he could read my mind, he asked, “You want to move, huh? You want to take your pleasure?” 

“Yes,” I whimpered and tried to move again. It was all in vain. Azriel held me down and I could do nothing as I felt myself clench around him. “Please.”

He chuckled darkly and the sound went straight to my core. I almost begged again. 

“You want so desperately to be in control, don’t you?” he asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer. “What would happen if you gave up control, Elain? Just once.”

I shook my head, not really understanding what he was asking. I was so far from being in control, it wasn’t even funny. When it came to sex, he was always in control. So demanding, so dominant. And I gladly gave him my submission every single time. He nuzzled my neck, sending tingles down my spine. “Let me choose the Halloween costumes.”

I almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. “What?” “I'll let you move if you let me make this small decision.” His voice was low, almost a purr. “Don’t you want to move?”

I really did. He was so big inside me, I felt as if I didn’t know where I ended and he began. It only made me wetter. Needier. More desperate for…something. Anything. “I…” I gasped when his thumb found my clit. “What if you buy the wrong size?” I tried to reason even though my brain was a needy little mess at this point. 

“You think I don’t know your size?” Okay, fair point. He had bought me dresses before. And underwear. 

“But I want to look pretty,” I tried, trying to keep the little ounce of control I still had left. 

I could feel him smile against my skin. He kissed my neck once more and I was burning up. “You always look pretty,” he murmured. “Even in my shirt and these silly little pumpkin socks.” 

“I didn’t know you had a kink for fuzzy socks.” I wanted it to sound like a joke, but it came out more like a gasp since he, at this precise moment, started to massage my clit with expert movement. 

“I have a kink for you,” he chuckled. “Come on, give in.”

“But what if you buy a Shrek costume,” I whined. I had no idea where that thought came from, but I guess Shrek was the worst thing I could think of at this moment. Azriel let out a laugh. “Then I guess I will have to go dressed as a donkey.”

“That would be very fitting since you're being such an ass right now,” I muttered under my breath. 

One second, his hand was between us, caressing my clit, and then... it wasn’t. I barely had time to register the movement before he grabbed my throat, squeezing the sides of my neck. Not hard enough to stop the air from entering my lungs, but definitely hard enough to drive me crazy. He wasn’t playing fair - he knew what this did to me. 

“What was that?” 

“You’re an ass,” I whispered, knowing fully well that I would have to pay for that. I couldn’t wait. Azriel hummed and tilted my head slightly. When he pressed his lips to mine, I could do nothing but kiss him back. I closed my eyes and when his tongue teased my lower lip, I let him in. This kiss was everything but soft and teasing. It was desperate and feverish - burning me up from the inside. 

“Azriel,” I moaned. His grip around my neck tightened and I thought that I would die if I didn't get to move soon. “Please.”

“Just say yes,” he growled against my lips. “Just say yes and I’ll give you anything you want.”

I couldn’t think. My brain was incapable of forming sentences. Azriel’s other hand moved from my hips to my ass, finding its way underneath my underwear. The grip around my throat loosened slightly and I found comfort in his big hand just holding me. Guiding me. 

God, I was going to lose. I was going to let him have his way because there was no chance in hell that I could stand this torture much longer. 

I balled my fist in his shirt, kissing him harder. Trying to make him lose his own control. It didn’t work, I knew it wouldn’t. Azriel was never not in control. Even when I thought I had him wrapped around my finger, I didn’t. He could always bring me to my knees in the most delicious of ways. 

I felt one of Azriel’s fingertips at my entrance, caressing me just where he stretched me so completely. I whimpered into his mouth at the sensation. “Good girl,” he murmured. “Give in. I know what you want. What you need. Just say yes.”

Slowly, so slowly, he moved his finger further back. I gasped when I felt his finger right there , teasing me. “Az–” I couldn’t form sentences any more. The English language had left my brain. 

This wasn’t the first time he did this, nor was it all that surprising. We had definitely been more adventurous lately, yet I still felt myself blush every time he touched me like that. It felt so forbidden. So wrong. Like something I shouldn’t be doing. But my traitorous body went feral every time he did this. Every time his fingers, or other body parts, explored that other entrance. 

“Do you remember your safe word?” he asked, his eyes focusing on mine. They were almost black at this point, so dark it would have frightened me if I hadn’t known better. I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered, knowing that he needed me to use my words. 

“Do you need to use it?”

I focused on the sensations. I felt the way his cock filled me so completely and the way his finger was massaging that forbidden part of me. And there was absolutely nothing in me that wanted him to stop. 

I shook my head. “No.”

He smiled and kissed my cheek - such a gentle thing to do in a situation like this. “My good girl.”

There was a slight stretch and then the tip of his finger was inside me. I felt my eyes roll back at the sensation. There was no more space left inside me. I was completely filled by him. 

I wouldn’t be able to take this for much longer. 

I tried to focus my gaze. Tried to meet his eyes. He was already watching me, taking note of my every move - my every breath. He held me there, right at the edge. 

And I could do nothing but surrender. 

“Yes,” I whispered. 

“Yes?” He moved his finger and I was certain that I might die from overstimulation. 

“Yes, you can choose the stupid costumes,” I gritted out and the grin that spread across his face made me want to slap him. Or maybe kiss him. 

I chose the latter. 

“Good girl,” he groaned as I finally - finally - was allowed to move. 

The friction I was given did little to soften the ache inside me. I was still so completely full. His cock, his finger, his tongue, him . He was everywhere and everything and I was shaking. With my hands on his shoulders, I moved my body up and down his length and from the way he was kissing me, I could tell that I was not the only one going crazy here. He was devouring me. It was as if he couldn’t be close enough, couldn’t get enough. He needed me like I needed him and I needed him more than I needed to breathe. 

Azriel’s other hand was now on my ass, helping me move. On me, in me. He was everywhere and I still needed more. God, I was needy. A desperate mess.

“Please,” I whined, hoping that he knew what I was asking for. 

“Touch yourself,” he ordered, his lips never leaving mine. “Make yourself come on my cock. I want to feel how much you love being filled.” 

No sooner than the words left his mouth did I move my hand between our bodies. With two fingers, I touched myself just the way he usually did. I imagined that it was his fingers. I broke away from his bruising kiss, burying my face in the crook of his neck as I continued riding him. His cock felt so good and his finger did things to me that had me seeing stars. 

“I’m close.” I let myself breathe in his scent and it was like a drug, going straight to my head.

“Go on,” he said. “I’ve got you.” He kissed the top of my head and I was falling, falling. I sank down on his cock one last time and then I was coming. I screamed into Azriel’s skin as my orgasm tore through me, setting me on fire. This was everything and I was floating away.  My name was a prayer on his lips when he joined me in my pleasure, spilling inside me. 

We stayed like that for god knows how long - him still inside me, his hands caressing my back. I guess it took some time for me to come back to earth. Azriel kissed my forehead. “God, you are a fucking dream, Elain.” 

“A good dream I hope,” I answered sleepily. 

“The only one worth dreaming.”

I smiled and nuzzled even closer to him. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” I sighed. “With my cock inside you?” he chuckled. 

“Honestly, yes.”

“Well, I would definitely not protest,” he said. “Though it might be a bit inconvenient at times. Like when we have to go to work, or go to Halloween parties.”

“We can skip the party. You’re gonna make me dress up like Shrek anyway.”

He laughed. “Elain, I promise you that I am not going to buy you a Shrek costume.”

“Good,” I murmured, feeling too sleepy to keep my eyes open. The two candles I lit earlier had burnt out long ago. “But if you do decide on Shrek, I want to be Donkey.”

I felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled. He kissed the top of my head and hugged me closer. “Noted.”

_________________________________

What do you think their costumes will be?

[cherienymphe]

My sister has a married (separated but they’re still pretending they’re together for the kids) man over and she’s gone an fucking waited for us all to go to sleep and she’s in the living room with him. It’s the second time she’s done this.

I want to cry. I know that sounds so ducking stupid because it’s none of my business but I literally haven’t sat on my sofa for months because of when she has him over the first time. I don’t want to sit on a sofa where they probably fucked. And like, I get up at the middle of the night for cereal most nights but I literally can’t now because they’re down there.

All I wanted to do is sleep but I can’t because there’s a man in my house who I’ve only met ONCE. It’s genuinely making me want to go and sleep in a hotel. I want to leave. I was trying to be a cockblocker and I was in the kitchen for ages pretending I couldn’t sleep, and she was just there watching me, texting him and laughing. (I know that’s bad, but tbf I was thirsty)

He’s a fucking scumbag (I pretend I find him okay but reality I fucking hate him). I know I need to work on myself because this is probably jealousy or some shit. Like I know this isn’t healthy for me. It’s not like any of what I’m typing right now my sister knows. She thinks I either 1. don’t know, or 2. that i’m fine with it.

She’s 35. She hasn’t got kids or a husband and I understand he’s the first person to be obsessed with her for years, but he’s already done the kids and marriage thing for 12 years so… Is he really looking for that again? I doubt it. I just don’t like that he’s making her wait, like you’re either with your wife or you’re not.

But at the end of the day it is NONE of my business. It’s just making me feel sick right now and I was planning on having a nice sleep but I have this problem where I literally cannot fall asleep when there’s other people in my house.

I know I sound deranged but she’s my only reason for living some days and when she’s ignoring me to text him constantly it’s literally so fucking soul sucking. I should probably move out but leaving my mom and my sister together is just recipe for trouble and if I moved out my mother would literally be homeless because she can’t pay for rent on her own. I’m the youngest (20) and always wanted to travel but I’m scared of leaving because I’m scared of coming back and being alone for the rest of my life. I don’t want my family to break apart.

Anyways, my GAWD that’s long. I’ll leave this here if you want to read it. I know you’re not a therapist lol so you don’t have to reply. Just had to rant because I haven’t got anyone to talk to. Okay, I’m going to either read gothic fiction or watch Buffy to distract me 💜

Hey I don't think you're wrong to be bothered by some strange man being in your house at all hours of the night. I get that everyone's family is different, but I wasn't raised in an environment like that so I too would be bothered. Yes, she has just as much right to the space as anyone else, but it's not solely her house. You have a right to feel comfortable too.

As for your sister, you have to let her make her own decisions/mistakes. While I personally don't think it's wrong for separated couples to see other people, it's almost always a recipe for mess when no one has officially filed for divorce. Are the chances pretty great that he and his wife will reconcile and leave your sister in the dust or maybe even a dirty little secret? Yeah probably but that's her problem not yours lol. Especially since she's way old enough to not be so dumb.

As for you...babes you're 20! I understand the pressure to make sure your family is alright, but you're telling me that if you leave and live your life, your fuckass 35 y/o sister can't keep the bills paid and help your mom out? At 20 y/o, I just don't think that's your responsibility. That's supposed to come when you're older and borderline decrepit and you have to help your mom to the bathroom in her old age 😭

I won't flat out tell you what to do bc it's your life and you're the one who has to live with your decisions but if I was in your shoes...ain't no way