#because i know i’m in a better place than i was at 12 or 14 or 21 or whatever

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 27. missed me?

chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. therapist! toji. a very broken marriage (cont.). heavy angst but i am still not gege. infidelity/adultery. corruption. family drama.

word count: 3.0k

notes: i hope everyone has been swell! sending hugs to every corner of the world, and i hope my writing can be your little break from reality. i have also added more chapters to the fic since i cannot wrap up the story in the next few chapters, ha. enjoy! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

12:33 PM Toji called 12:33 PM He told me that my daughter collapsed in front of the twins? 12:34 PM And you got into a fight with her? 12:34 PM How did that happen? 12:34 PM Are you with her right now? 12:37 PM Answer me please, I need to make sure she’s fine (Missed Call) 12:38 PM Can you phone me back asap? Thx 12:38 PM I’m still in the office right now, wrapped up the weekly meeting with the operating committee 01:01 PM Hello? 01:01 PM Hey, are you there? (Missed Call) 01:12 PM Toji called again, he gave me a rundown, and I have to say… 01:12 PM I’m very, very disappointed in you

Perhaps the better word would be terrified, but Naoya was truly and genuinely astounded.

How the fuck did this happen?

Naoya could feel his breathing grow shallow and his body turn cold as he read through each message from his Chief Operating Officer once, twice, three times. For a while, he stared at his chat history, his shaking thumb hovering over the screen while his mind went blank.

What started as an argument between just you and him now had your father involved. Not only your father, though—but also Mai, Maki, and now Toji?! How bothersome. Of course, you had to drag everyone into this! The world always had to revolve around you.

Naoya could not think straight as his chauffeur sped him back to the office from Mari’s apartment later that day. Even when he returned to his CEO suite, he could hardly focus on his conversations with department heads or strategy discussions with the Board when Daisuke L/N’s messages haunted him like an omnipresent and malevolent spirit.

‘I’m very, very disappointed in you.’

Goddamnit!

Naoya did not miss how your father was absent from the afternoon’s meetings either (although he was not stupid enough to point that out aloud at work when Naoya himself was involved in why), nor did he miss his own father’s narrowed gaze which seemingly lingered on him longer than usual.

Oh goodness, did he know, too?

No, he couldn’t have. Otherwise, Naobito Zenin would have pulled him to the side by now and given him a long and stern lecture.

Yet, when the early evening arrived, Naoya ultimately decided he must talk to you directly.

Not because he actually cared about your well-being. (Ha, as if.) But because he needed to quash the possibility that the rest of his family, particularly his Board Chairman father, could get a whiff of his quarrel with you before all hell broke loose.

Moments like these warranted him to push aside his dignity before things could worsen. 

His greatest fear would be for this recent argument to become a domino effect, as the downfall in this marriage would certainly place him in hot water.

With that, the current Zenin CEO then tapped his phone for your contact.

He needed to check up on you but ended up in voicemail. 

So, he dialed once more. 

Voicemail.

Again. 

Why were you not picking up his calls? 

You always found a way to irk him with how ungrateful you could be. Sure, there was no secret that you hated him. He would admit he was rude, belittling, and patronizing, treating you like a trophy to tote around, a doll to splay at his will, and a woman who needed to learn her place. He knew this and you knew this, because he exclusively tolerated this marriage as a means to accelerate his life. 

Despite everything, he made sure his wife was well-fed and looked after, only for you to throw a tantrum and now get his extended family involved? Ludicrous. Why not focus on the good things about him? Could you not see how he had attempted to reach you at least thirty times throughout the day? (His ultimate reason admittedly was selfish, but that’s not the point.)

Anywho, since when did you think that ignoring him was acceptable?

In a frustrated fit, Naoya tossed his phone into his desk’s paper heap and huffed.

To set things straight, he had made many sacrifices in his life to get to his seat today, like how—back in the day—he had to watch TV anchors praise his older cousin while sipping champagne in the Maldives with…whatever girlfriend he had been with at the time. Life had been hard, but he at last had everything he should’ve been entitled to since birth. This position, this family, and this company belonged to him, regardless of what stupid fucking traditions dictated.

Unsurprisingly, when Naoya took the helm, everyone scrutinized him. Sure, he might have lacked in a few (or, more accurately, a lot of…) regards since he hadn’t been built into the position the way Toji Zenin had been, but having you as his wife made him look good in family conversations and public discourse. 

He just needed a little more time to get people to trust him. Then, once all the pieces clicked into place, he resolved to toss this marriage to the side.

That ‘time,’ he hoped, would be soon.

For now, he just needed to keep you for as long as he sought fit. 

Buzz.

Well, speak of the devil.

You must finally be returning his call.

The sky had gone dark in the windows behind him now, but Naoya practically leaped from his seat, scrambling and shoving papers aside to find his phone buried beneath several printed reports. He hated how his hands quivered as he held the device, not that he could control himself at this point, and he snapped the moment he swiped at his screen.

“Where the hell are you?” Naoya hissed, clipped and impatient.

He did not get an immediate response, which infuriated him even more since he taught you to acknowledge him on the phone. 

But then, he learned why.

Because instead, Naoya heard a low and harrowing chuckle.

“I guess you missed me, kid.”

The end to a marriage, for obvious reasons, would never be as glamorous as the start to one.

Many would dream for years about a wedding, but far fewer would think the same about a separation.

‘I'm going to file for a divorce.’

Admittedly, you were nervous when you announced the decision aloud in a crowded room for many eyes to see and ears to hear.

After all, even if you recognized the need for a change in your matrimony, you feared the consequences. You didn't want to cause your families to grow apart or your fathers to resent you. In addition, Naoya had been such a dominating fixture in your life these past few months, and he had led you to believe your days without him would be meaningless.

However, no longer could you set aside your emotions for his sake, nor would you expend extensive effort to salvage your marriage for other’s desires. Your sole purpose henceforth was to live a satisfied life without sacrificing more than what you already have for a husband who hardly look your way.

As a result, when you acknowledged divorce as the best possible solution to your demise, you were grateful for the emotional support and relieved faces from your worried father, the younger teenagers, and your trusted therapists.

Especially Toji. 

“Come with me,” the very man ordered once you stepped into his apartment’s corridor with him. 

Everyone else had been brought down to the apartment’s lower level after the earlier discussion in the master bedroom, with Megumi forced to take on the role as host in his father’s absence. The younger Fushiguro might be aloof and sometimes awkward, but word had gotten around that he was a good chef with his aunts nagging at him to prepare dinner.

“C’mon, don’t you want to show us what recipes you have learned on TikTok?” 

“...No, not really. Can we just order KFC?”

The other conversation that drifted upward was between your father and the other three therapists, which made sense given that they all used to be colleagues back when Toji had been the CEO. 

There was laughter, chatter, and the entire brouhaha brought ease to your nervous heart. 

“Ladies first,” Toji said at some point after you had trailed behind him. He had taken you several meters ahead, opening the door to invite you inside. “This is my home office.”

You did not yet see the point in him doing a House Tour 2.0, but you walked in upon his gesture anyway. The hardwood floor beneath you felt warm, your body heating up slightly despite the coolness in the air. 

Toji kept his office space as tidy as the rest of his abode. He had a white leather couch situated by the doorway and a workspace configuration to the side with desk lamps, an expensive chair, and a dual monitor setup. 

Above his screens, Toji probably had fifteen accolades in cherry wood frames, each to showcase his achievements as countless magazines named him the best leader, the top executive, and the most promising innovator. 

What caught your attention, however, was the wall beside his workstation. 

There was a corkboard. 

At first glance, the tacked-on magazine cutouts and photograph snippings seemed like a messy litter on the brown surface, but thin red strings—which made this look like a detective movie prop—connected one piece to another and suggested an order to the chaos. 

“What is this?” you asked, a question not directed to anyone in particular as you neared the corkboard without waiting for Toji’s permission.

Upon closer distance, the vague letterings and images became clear.

The newspaper cover story fastened at the very center read in big bold print: “Zenin Corporation Announces New CEO.” 

As the realization dawned that this was what Toji meant to show you, the man’s measured footsteps came up from behind you. He stopped at your side, watching how you inspected each element on the corkboard as though his room was your laboratory and he was your professor.

“The World Economic Forum estimates that more than 5% of global GDP is lost to corruption around the world each year,” he began, crossing his thick arms firmly over his chest. “Many articles you see here had been published online only to be taken down not even a few hours later. I suspect that Naoya this year alone has spent hundreds of thousands, if not millions, bribing the Japanese media to curate the public image he needs.” He then pointed around. “Look for yourself.”

You would have called Toji out for being a total creep if the objective of this collection had not been obvious. With scarlet threads weaving together to reveal an elaborate web of deceit, Toji had been curating an exposé.

There was one photo from your wedding day. Standing at the altar with Naoya, you looked so happy and blissful back then, the vibrant bouquet in your hands a colorful contrast against the pristine white of your Vera Wang wedding gown, your face radiant with a smile oblivious to the heartache that would come.

This publication, you have seen before.

What you did not recognize, however, were the articles dated from nearly a year ago, well before your wedding day, with even more printed five months ago, two months ago, one week ago…

…and reading the titles made you feel sick.

Japanese Hotshot Shares Intimate Kisses with Rumored Girlfriend Photos Reveal Recently Married Executive’s Secret Affair? Exclusive: Zenin Corporation CEO Spotted in Mexico with Alleged Lover

The accompanying pictures had the same two subjects in plain clothes and baseball caps, showing off little skin to reveal their identities to prying busybodies. Yet, upon an immediate glance, you recognized Naoya Zenin as the taller figure and assumed his very precious ladyfriend must be the other.

Photographers had snapped the two embracing each other in a cab’s backseat, sharing a secret kiss after a luxury mall date, and holding hands while stepping into a private plane. 

All to say, you were revolted. 

The more you mulled on these printouts, the more you could feel visceral disgust build in your chest. 

To think you once contemplated saving a marriage with a man like that. Whatever his plan was for him and this woman, did he intend to make you a side character to their romance until the day you would die?

Your gaze darted around, and the photo with the most unobstructed view of their faces placed you on pause.

All of a sudden, a hard lump formed in your throat because, Holy shit, she’s…stunning. 

Seeing the woman who your husband had had his sights on immediately unlocked a whole new level of insecurities within you. 

No wonder Naoya could not bring himself to be married to you when he had her. 

The woman was exquisite, to say the least. Despite the picture’s poor quality, you noticed her bright elegant face, plump pink lips, and long full lashes—precisely the characteristics that would turn heads in a crowded room. In fact, you secretly wished that you possessed her overflowing pulchritude as well.

If she was an angel from your point of view, she must also be in Naoya’s eyes all the more. 

You gingerly drew a circle around her with a finger.

“Is she his mistress?” 

Why did you even ask that? You already knew the answer. But, you wanted to confirm the facts rather than satisfy your curiosity. 

Meanwhile, Toji ran his index finger very slowly over his lower lip. 

He answered a while later. 

“Yes.” As you had expected. Then, he added, “But she’s also my ex-wife.”

What—

Your jaw dropped to the trenches. 

If you thought tonight had been filled with enough revelations, this one really sealed the deal. 

His…ex-wife?!

Unlike the man before you, hiding your deepest emotions had never been your forte. Instead, you had gone stiff as your mind reeled in shock.

“She’s…Tsumiki’s mom,” you said quietly at the realization. 

Yes, you have heard a lot about her. However, to make the connection between the lady in the picture and the woman who owned currently Naoya’s (and previously Toji’s) devotion stirred awake a thousand emotions. 

Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. 

Megumi had told you plenty about her before.

‘Treated me like a bag of shit, spent all my dad’s money on her shopping sprees every weekend, and even neglected her own daughter—my stepsister.’

Her pretty face could only go so far in disguising her dark heart. 

With this understanding, you finally grasped Toji’s bitterness when he first met you. How fickle fate had been to him. Comical, even! For his younger cousin to take his succession rights to the clan, his executive position in the company, and—to top everything off—his wife from his family. Only for you (of all eight billion people in the world) to show up at Toji Fushiguro’s office asking for sex therapy?

Now, you comprehended why Toji and Naoya despised each other. 

In addition, you understood why Toji and his colleagues had been suspicious of you. Trust takes time to build yet a moment to shatter, and all of them have had this trust broken before. By Naoya, yes. 

But also, by her.

“What’s her name?” you had to ask, ignoring the searing ache in your heart.

Your therapist, on the other hand, tried to play off his vexation by shoving his hands into his front pockets.

“Mari,” and also, “She still uses my last name.”

Wow. 

The audacity that some people in the world have.

“Here let me help.”

“Hm?”

At first, you did not quite get what Toji was referring to until he started tearing the magazine photos and newspaper stories.

Wordlessly, you gawked at him, both in confusion and astonishment.

“Why—”

Before you could complete the thought, Toji had placed everything into a neat stack and thrust the pile into your hands. “There,” he said with finality. “If you are to file for a divorce, take these to Naoya. See what the bastard has to say. Staying with him any longer would be a fatal flaw.”

Toji had never seen a single interaction between you and his cousin in person, yet he could confidently say your husband was the hamartia in your life. Perhaps the signs had always been obvious. Or perhaps, his recent experience in a toxic marriage allowed Toji to notice the red flags in yours from miles away.

“If you give him too much time, he’ll come up with his offenses,” he went on. “We don’t need to outfight him, though. We simply need to outthink him.”

Something about Toji’s emerald eyes gleamed in a way you had not seen before. 

It was a different side to him, one where he planned and strategized, a flickering core of the businessman he used to be.

“Hi.” 

You and Toji froze at the sound.

Megumi’s voice had startled you two as the boy peered in from the hallway, waving a phone in his hand—your phone. “Sorry to interrupt but, uh, he called again.”

Interestingly enough, Megumi did not need to explicitly mention a name for you all to know who he referred to. As your screen flickered on, you noticed the numerous missed calls and text messages that had flooded your notifications, all from one particular culprit, no doubt. 

Instead of embarrassment, your body surged with aggravation at how your husband suddenly seemed desperate to know your whereabouts. 

So now he cared, huh?

Before you could retrace your steps towards the door, however, Toji had already done so. He retrieved the device from his son’s hands and started dialing a number from your phone. 

You tried to stop him. “Hey, what are you—”

But Toji dismissed you, pressing your phone to his ear as the call began to ring, and his lips curled into a wicked grin when the other line must have picked up.

“I guess you missed me, kid.”

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: I am excited to show the interaction between Toji and Naoya—I have been thinking about their conversation for a long time! This chapter is less of a whirlwind and more of a setup for the rest to come. Thank you for your support!

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @puffaloxx @sakanoshitaa @arizzu @kissditrio @lewd-bunny14 @mistyheart @szired @supsii @yvy1s @lazyassfinals @katkbc @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much. 

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great. 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared.  And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment: 

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason. 

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.  

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho. 

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) finished. Adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who (nearly) dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. I was warned that the ending would not work for me so I decided not to bother.

My Biker BL short movie from Wayu supposedly premiered Nov 27 on their YouTube Channel for Members to watch. I couldn't find anything further. The MDL description makes me think it's not for me so I bother.

Next Week Looks Like This

Short list of the December offerings.

12/9 Cherry Magic (Thai remake) YouTube 10 eps

12/9 Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) ??

12/14 Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) ??

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love these dudes so much, and make no mistake they def dudes. On point banter, my dudes. (Sign)

Yes they are cute but so far that's all this show has going for it. (Middleman's Love)

I'm a simple human, I just like seeing Off kneeing. (Cooking Crush)

(Last week)

[daitranscripts]

Solas Romance

The Truth

Solas Masterpost

Solas leads the PC to a grotto in Crestwood.

Solas: The Veil is thin here. Can you feel it on your skin, tingling?

They stop, and Solas places a hand on the PC’s face.

Solas: I was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me.

Dialogue options:

General: I already know. [1]

Flirt: Interesting! [2]

General: You don’t have to do that. [3]

1 - General: I already know. PC: That’s not necessary, Solas. You’re my… Solas: That is the question, is it not? [4]

2 - Flirt: Interesting! PC: I’m listening, and I can offer a few suggestions. Solas: I shall bear that in mind. [4]

3 - General: You don’t have to do that. PC: I know what we mean to each other. Solas: Even so. [4]

4 - Scene continues.

Solas: For now, the best gift I can offer is… the truth. You are unique. In all Thedas, I never expected to find someone who could draw my attention from the Fade. You have become important to me, more important than I could have imagined.

Dialogue options:

End relationship: I don’t think this will work. [5]

I feel the same way. [6]

5 - End relationship: I don’t think this will work. PC: Solas, I’m sorry. I’m afraid you were right. I was too impulsive earlier. Solas: (Sighs.) Even in this, you surprise me. Solas: I shall speak no more of it. Still, know that whatever happens, you are a rare spirit in this world. Goodbye. He leaves. Scene ends.

6 - I feel the same way. PC: As you are to me. Solas: Then what I must tell you… the truth… Your face. The vallaslin. In my journeys in the Fade, I have seen things. I have discovered what those marks mean. PC: They honor the elven gods. Solas: No. They are slave markings, or at least, they were in the time of ancient Arlathan.

7 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: That can’t be right. [8]

Stoic: That doesn’t matter. [9]

Angry: That’s a lie! [10]

Sad: We were wrong? [11]

8 - Investigate: That can’t be right. PC: My clan’s Keeper said they honored the gods. These are their symbols. Solas: Yes. That’s right. A noble would mark his slaves to honor the god he worshipped. After Arlathan fell, the Dalish forgot. [back to 7]

9 - Stoic: That doesn’t matter. PC: Whatever the marks were before, the Dalish have reclaimed them. They mark me as one of them. Solas: I know. For everything I have said about the Dalish, I admire that indomitable spirit. [12]

10 - Angry: That’s a lie! PC: Why would you say that? Solas: Because it’s true. PC: Bullshit! That’s bullshit! Is there anything in this world you won’t tear down just to prove how smart you are? Why would you tell me this? Solas: Because you deserve better! [12]

11 - Sad: We were wrong? PC: So this is… what? Just one more thing the Dalish got wrong? Solas: I’m sorry. PC: (Breathes.) We try to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep? Relics of a time when we were no better than Tevinter? Solas: Don’t say that. For all they got wrong, the Dalish did one thing right. They made you. [12]

12 - Scene continues.

Solas: I didn’t tell you this to hurt you. If you like, I know a spell… I can remove the vallaslin.

Dialogue options:

General: I’m not sure. [13]

General: I’d like that. [14]

General: No. They matter to me. [15]

General: No. Forget the past. [16]

13 - General: I’m not sure. PC: These marks have been part of me for so long. I don’t know if… [17]

14 - General: I’d like that. PC: If what you’re saying is true… Solas: It is. PC: Then… my people vowed never to submit to slavery. [17]

15 - General: No. They matter to me. PC: Even if what you’re saying is true, I don’t think I can just let you erase them. [17]

16 - General: No. Forget the past. PC: I don’t wear the vallaslin for the ancient elves. I wear it for me. Solas: I know. [17]

17 - Scene continues.

Solas: I’m so sorry for causing you pain. It was selfish of me. I look at you, and I see what you truly are… And you deserve better than what those cruel marks represent.

Dialogue options:

Remove the vallaslin. [18]

I want to keep the vallaslin. [19]

18 - Remove the vallaslin. PC: Then cast your spell. Take the vallaslin away. Solas: Sit. Solas leads the PC to the waterside, and they kneel. He passed his hands over the PC’s face, and the vallaslin are gone. Solas: Ar lasa mala revas. You are free. They stand. Solas: You are so beautiful. They kiss.

19 - I want to keep the vallaslin. PC: I know you told me because you wanted to help, but the vallaslin is part of who I am. I hope you can see past— Solas: Stop. You are perfect exactly as you are. They kiss.

20 - Scene continues.

Solas: And I am sorry. I distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again.

Dialogue options:

General: I don’t want to lose you. [21]

General: Are you kidding me? [22]

General: If you must. [23]

21 - General: I don’t want to lose you. PC: Solas… Solas steps back. Solas: Please, vhenan.

Dialogue options:

Sad: I love you. [24]

Angry: Don’t do this to me! [25]

Stoic: I believe in us. [26]

24 - Sad: I love you. PC: Solas… don’t leave me. Not now. I love you. He shakes his head, and continues to back away. Solas: You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world— PC: Why not this one? He raises his hands between them. Solas: I can’t. I’m sorry. Solas leaves. Scene ends.

25 - Angry: Don’t do this to me! PC: Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. The PC shoves him. PC: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a coldhearted son of a bitch and move on! They leave Solas standing there. Solas: I’m sorry. Scene ends.

26 - Stoic: I believe in us. PC: I’m not giving up on you, Solas. Solas: You truly should. PC: Whatever you need, we can find together. Solas: No, we can’t. You’ll see. Solas turns. Solas: I’m sorry. He walks away. Scene ends.

22 - General: Are you kidding me? PC: Wait. What?

kept vallaslin PC: I say no to you altering my face, and just like that we’re done? Solas: It’s not that. I’m sorry. I should have ended this long before. I never wanted to hurt you. [27]

let Solas remove the vallaslin PC: You bring me here, take the vallaslin from my face, and now you just end it? Solas: I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. [27]

23 - General: If you must. PC: All right. If that’s your decision, so be it. Solas: I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. [27]

27 - Dialogue options:

Stoic: You did. [28]

Sad: Great job. [29]

Angry: Your loss, asshole! [30]

28 - Stoic: You did. PC: Everyone makes mistakes. Solas turns and leaves. Solas: I will see you back at Skyhold. Scene ends.

29 - Sad: Great job. PC: Well, we don’t always get what we want, do we? Solas turns and leaves. Solas: I will see you back at Skyhold. Scene ends.

30 - Angry: Your loss, asshole! PC: Banal’abelas, banal’vhenan! Solas turns and leaves. Solas: I will see you back at Skyhold. Scene ends.

[zahri-melitor]

While I’m advancing the post Red Robin #12 Dick & Tim agenda I also want to pair up these two pages - Red Robin #14 and #26 - in regards to the way support runs between them and the way they function as teammates.

“Just realise that not everyone can detach themselves emotionally as easily as you can…Though I did notice I’m not up there.”

“You never could be.”

“That took a lot of courage Red Robin. The temptation…you could’ve taken the easy way out.”

I think the Red Robin #26 panel especially gets overlooked, as it’s immediately followed by Bruce Brucing about how Tim took unnecessary risks and should never have set up the situation in the first place.

But not right now! We are going to indulge in some brain rot about these panels! Because that’s what Dick and Tim deserve!

Because look, this is ANOTHER rerun of the most Dick & Tim motivation comic of all time, Gotham Knights #26. Let’s play the fight panels!

Tim can never put Dick on his contingency plan list because he believes in Dick on a deep level beyond anyone else. “He taught me never to back away from any possibility that might lead to the truth.”

And Dick admires Tim’s ability to compartmentalise and “continue serving a system in which you have so little faith.”

And here we have two situations where Tim’s gone a little out of his traditional comfort zone and Dick’s there to say “I know you, I see you, I believe in you, and I get why you made that call (and I realise why it’s hard for you)”.

Dick out there catching Tim again and giving him support in tough situations, because while Bruce understands (and demands perfection), Dick understands exactly how hard that expectation of perfection is, and why pulling yourself back and making the right decision anyway is such a difficult trait.

Because they ARE peers and siblings and understand the constraints the other operates under better than almost anyone else.

Dick acknowledges the temptation in BOTH the situations (with the implication that he could also find himself similarly tempted) because yeah they both WERE there for Tower of Babel and coped with the aftermath and the team disapproval and if Tim’s reaching into that behaviour something is UP. And Tim’s been there to pull Dick back before when Dick’s been incandescently angry at a villain killing a member of his family.

They get it. They get each other. And Tim needed that reassurance and Dick knew he did and knew just what to say.

Brothers. BROTHERS.

[ultram0th]

31 Days of Derek Hale

Day 16: Himbo

Info │ 01 │ 02 │ 03 │ 04 │ 05 │ 06 │ 07 │ 08 │ 09 │ 10 │ 11 │ 12 │ 13 │ 14 │ 15 │ 16

Derek Hale sat in the corner of the bar, brooding over life in general. The sourwolf had a deep frown set onto his face, scowling at nothing specifically— his foul mood creating a dark aura about him.

He finished his whiskey on the rocks and was about to ask for another one, when the bartender (some peppy guy with dyed blue hair) set down a large glass of beer in front of him. The golden drink must’ve been extra-carbonated because tons of tiny bubbles floated around like crazy in it.

Derek cocked his eyebrow up at the bartender. “I didn’t—”

“It’s on the house,” the bartender interrupted him. “It’s a new brand called ‘Bubbly Beer’.”

“‘Bubbly Beer’?” Derek repeated incredulously, almost scoffing at the stupid sounding name. The tough alpha wouldn’t be caught dead drinking such a ridiculous drink. 

Still, free was free.

Shrugging his shoulders, Derek brought the glass to his lips and took a tentative sip of the bubble-filled beer. It was sickeningly sweet and the carbonation made the drink more akin to soda than actual beer.

Derek grimaced at the drink, nearly gagging. He hated sweets.

However, the alcohol content must’ve been high, because after that singular sip of beer, Derek could already feel a slight buzz. His brain felt a little foggy and it actually seemed to dull his angst.

“Meh,” he hummed. “Does the trick, I guess.”

Derek took another sip.

The fog settled in deeper, and a dazed grin formed on Derek’s face. He leaned back further into his chair, unaware of the knowing smirk from the bartender. He struggled to think back to what was bothering him in the first place.

He happily brought the glass back up to his lips, but this time he took a couple gulps of the beer.

Derek’s smile grew a little larger, but it almost subsided when he started to feel a little warm. Like a sudden total wave of heat crashing upon him, Derek suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. His white button down shirt was suddenly a bit too thick for his liking, and having it buttoned up all the way made him feel awkward, almost like he was wearing a large tent. 

In an attempt to gain some sort of ease, Derek reached up and undid the top four buttons of his shirt.

“That’s soooooo much better,” he sighed, his goofy grin coming back full force once he wasn’t completely covered. His toned pecs were slightly exposed to the cool air of the bar.

Derek took a few more gulps of the beer.

The legs of the chair groaned loudly as Derek squirmed around. His chest felt heavier and his arms kept colliding with his sides in a way that they hadn’t before… right?

Derek’s heart raced in his beefy chest for a moment, but he quickly shrugged his anxiety away as he glanced down at his meaty muscletits. His massive pecs were barely covered by the button down shirt that they strained against, his nubby nipples poking teasingly against the fabric. His large biceps bulged out of his straining sleeves, constantly bumping against pecs and lats, hindering each one of Derek’s movements. And lastly, the werewolf rocked back and forth on his humongous bubblebutt that strained his jeans to bursting, the big ass making it look like Derek was sitting on a bunch of cushions.

Derek caught a nerdy guy sneak a peek at him from across the bar, and he couldn’t resist lifting one of his big arms to flex a powerful bicep.

The nerd’s jaw dropped, yet he quickly recomposed himself and stood up, slowly heading over towards Derek.

Derek finished off the last of the bubbly beer, setting the empty glass onto the bar.

“Um, h-hey,” the small nerdy guy smiled at Derek. “What brings you here all alone?”

Derek smiled back full force at the other guy, his cock rocketing to life. The ten inch monster snaked down his pant leg noticeably, looking like he was stuffing a summer sausage down his pants.

“Oh y’know,” Derek chirped back, “I’m just, like, totally out here looking for cute guys!” He giggled at the end of his statement, biting down on his lower lip as he ran his eyes up and down hungrily over the nerd’s body.

The nerd smiled back nervously, nearly drooling over Derek’s bulbous muscletits. “Well,” he said, “I’m about to ditch this place, if you wanna come with?”

“Sure!” Derek quickly said, practically hopping out of his chair. He snatched a tight hold of the smaller guy’s hand and began to walk towards the exit.

Derek paused for a brief second, feeling as if something was wrong. His gait was thrown off by the constant jiggling of his bubblebutt behind him, and he had to arch his back slightly to account for his huge pecs. Plus, his head felt so slow.

And he was so painfully horny! 

Despite himself, all he seemed to be able to focus on was cock and getting his big butt stuffed full with the nerd’s. His lust took over and that foggy sensation clouded over his brain again, effectively silencing that alarm bell. 

“Like, this is totally gonna be the best night ever!” Derek cheered as he wiggled his hips, causing his big butt to bounce wildly, loving the lustful look in the nerd’s eyes.

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

Always By Your Side

Word count: 1.9K

Summary: you were friends with Jenna, but ever since she got famous she started ignoring you, even if you kept being her number one fan.

Warnings: angst

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

Posting this to check if I’m actually not shadow banned anymore😂 but Don’t get me started on this Idea. It has been stuck in my mind forever. I hope you like this

———

Growing up in California has always had its perks. Wherever you went, there were famous people, whether it was adults, teenagers, even kids and older people. It didn’t matter where you went, there was always a crowd around someone famous. Useless to say that this had its toll on your life, because eventually you wanted to be an actress, and ever since you were a kid you would find scripts online and practice them on your own or with your best friend, Jenna. She lived down the street and you were always at her place playing with her and with her siblings, you would sleep at their house, have dinners there and whenever they did something, you were always invited, you even went on family trips with them! It was safe to say that they considered you part of their family.

With time passing, you and Jenna grew even closer. Both of your dreams was still to be actresses as you kept on practicing scripts and monologues, but she’s always been better than you, and there was no one denying that. At some point Jenna’s mom’s friend was friends with a casting director and they tried giving both of you chances to eventually start on acting in shows or movies. Only… she got the roles, and you didn’t. You never did. Were you jealous? No you weren’t, because your best friend had achieved her dreams and she was living it for you too. She was away from home a lot, but she always found a way to keep in contact with you, at first at least. You were both still 14 after all, and her schedule wasn’t so busy so she was home a lot, and you went to visit her whenever you could.

Though things started changing when you both turned 16. She was never home anymore as her schedule was so busy.

You: hey Jen. I know you’re busy, buy can you call me when you have some free time? I really miss my best friend🥺

Jen: Hey! Yes of course! I’ll call you at 7.30 tonight okay? Miss you too <3

Those little things always made you smile, even if she was so busy and never home, she always cut some time from her breaks to call you and just talk about anything. She didn’t care if she didn’t have lunch, she WANTED to talk to you and this alone always made you miss her less. At age 17 though, having grown up and was now fit for harder roles, early morning alarms and what not, the time she cut for you ceased existing.

You: Heyyyy! Video call tonight at 7.30 pm like always?

Jen: I’m sorry I’m really busy. Promise we’ll catch up eventually. TTYL.

Only the two of you never caught up. She never found time for you anymore and it was starting to hurt. You knew that at some point actors leave their past life behind, but you never expected Jenna to do so to you. You never expected her to forget about you when you grew up together ever since day one, when you were in cribs. But even though she barely even thought of you, it was safe to say that you were her number one fan. You watched her movies, had bought the merch that came along with them, watching her interviews, Hell you even texted her supporting her of everything.

September 10, 2020

You: dude, that “babysitter killer queen” movie is just something else, I was so entertained watching it! You did a great job💕

March 12, 2021

You: your role in “yes day” was amazing. Katie Torres is so cute! Loved it✨

January 14, 2022

You: uhm HELLO? The new scream movie is fire! Hope to see you in the next one☺️

January 27, 2022

You: GURL! ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT VADA CAVELL? Please, she’s SO FINE

March 18, 2022

You: okay, that X movie was different. Not of my likings, buy you did a great job as always. Miss you.

Not once did she ever reply to your texts. Sure, she read them but you never got any kind of feedback from her. It’s like she was always too busy even for a text, or she just simply didn’t care anymore. It was hard, going on with your life knowing that she never had time for you anymore. You used to be her best friend but now, seeing from her posts she had new best friends and it was hurting a lot, knowing that she just forgot about you, and your head started going a thousand places, was she ashamed because her best friend wasn’t famous? And what if she simply didn’t want to be seen around with you? You were a no one, after all. Would famous people want to be seen around with a no one?

You had to get back to her, show her that there was no shame in being seen around with someone who isn’t famous. It should make you even more “honest” to show that you’re not only friends with famous people, but you’ve kept your friends of a lifetime, but you thought that this wasn’t something she’d ever consider. You posted a photo of the two of you hugging and a few videos, tagging her and writing under it “miss my best friend so much.” Jenna’s fans freaked out at that and reposted the photos, the cute videos all over the internet. Jenna wasn’t the type of girl to be on social medias but you were sure she saw your post when she liked it. It was just a like though, there was no “miss you too” comment or even a text, nothing at all. You had to find a way to see her, talk to her face to face.

You got the chance to do so when after her new series “Wednesday” came out, the premiere was in your city. You HAD to go. You even found the ticket to get backstage and talk with the actors, you had to talk to her. You dressed up elegantly just for the night and you made sure to go there REALLY early to be in front of the barricades, you had to see her and she had to see you. When actors started arriving, of course no one recognized you. Except for obviously Jenna. She looked at you as she walked by, and you gave her a small smile as you waved at her, she did the same but then walked away, to other fans and to the photo booth. She looked gorgeous to say the least. You had seen her on tv, but she hasn’t seen you in years and suddenly reality hit her.

You had been supporting her ever since and she has done nothing but ignore you these past 5 years, and she started thinking of how much it could have hurt you, seeing her realize her dreams while you couldn’t. She was scared shitless to talk to you, she was afraid that you’d yell at her, get mad at her or something like that. When the premiere was finished it was now time for the people who had the backstage ticket to actually go backstage. You were one of the lasts in line and you weren’t in a rush, you needed to talk to her not just for two minutes, and you knew that fans would absolutely want to talk to her, so you stood back and patiently waited for your turn. You didn’t wait really long because everyone only had a limited time with each actor, but you didn’t care because you knew that if you needed It, Jenna would tell the crew that you were allowed to stay.

As soon as it was your turn you walked up to her and she gave you a small sad smile. She didn’t know how to act, what to do. She was scared of what you’d say or do. “Hey Jen” you said as you walked over, you weren’t sure of what you could or could not do, but you were surprised when she hugged you tightly, hiding her face in your shoulder. You let her do, hugging her back and letting her stay in the embrace for as long as she wanted. When she pulled back, her eyes were slightly teary. “(Y/N) I-I’m so sorry” she started, you knew exactly what she was talking about. “I’m sorry too. But it’s okay, you have a busy schedule and it’s okay to not have time” you said reassuring her. “I was just scared you’d forgotten about me or that you didn’t care anymore. And it hurts because I haven’t been hearing back from you for 5 years Jen. You do understand that right? I was scared that I was bothering you and that you didn’t want me to text you.” You said looking down, and she looked down of shame as well.

“I never meant for any of this to happen. You’re my best friend, (Y/N). I just… got scared.” She said and you looked at her with confusion sprawled out all over your face. “Scared of what?” You asked, she took a hold of your hand and looked up at you. “When we started with the videocalls.. they made me really happy, and I knew you were happy too. But growing up my feelings towards you only grew, and not just in a “friends” way if you know what I mean. I was- and maybe I still am in in love with you. But I was scared, I was never home and I didn’t want to say that over a phone, figuring out that it would have been better if I told you face to face. But I always chickened out and I figured out that if I ever told you, the constant distance would have ended up hurting you. But I hurt you anyways, so…”

You looked at her as a smile slowly made its way to your face. “Jesus Jen I thought you hated me or something..” you said, giggling of relief, as she looked up at you “does that mean you forgive me?” She said hopeful, this even showing on her face. How could you reply to this? Deep down, you also had feelings for her, and they only grew. So you pulled her in from her waist, a hand removing the black veil of her dress from her face as you leaned in for a kiss, your first. She was shocked at first, not believing what was happening as she eventually kissed you back, closing her eyes and arms around your neck as she smiled and hummed happily on your lips, moving closer to you, if that was even possible. Managers had tried to get closer to you two and move you two away, but Jenna shushed them away and kept on kissing you, all while you just smiled.

Eventually she pulled back to look at you. “I love you so much (Y/N).. I swear to you that from now on I’ll take you with me wherever I go and you’ll never leave my side.”

[aerialworms]

+ bonus Midam :)

(Shoutout to @bloodydeanwinchester​ for inspiring this, although I’m 75% sure this has been done before 😅 ID under the readmore!)

[Image ID: A series of screenshots of the Supernatural characters paired with the answers from a Buzzfeed quiz. The first image is the title of the quiz: “...would you fuck a clone of yourself?”

2. Sam Winchester, looking weirded out at his alternate self in 15.13 Destiny’s Child, answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.”

3. Eileen Leahy, smirking at Sam in 15.07 Last Call, answers “I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.”

4. Jack Kline, looking baffled in 13.01 Lost and Found, answers “I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.”

5. Castiel, looking scared as the Empty yells at him in 13.04 The Big Empty, answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.”

6. Crowley, looking suggestively at Dean in a bar in 9.11 First Born, answers “I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?“

7. Dean, handcuffed on the floor in Endverse Dean’s cabin in 5.04 The End, tells his alternate self “I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.”

8. Arthur Ketch in 13.07 War of the Worlds, pretending to be his twin, Alexander, answers “It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.”

9. Mary Winchester yells at Ketch “It's not the same as masturbating; it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!”

10. Good!Charlie Bradbury from 10.11 There’s No Place Like Home says “I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.” except the “what if” has been crossed out.

11. Mustachioed Gabriel from the Casa Erotica DVD in 5.19 Hammer of the Gods answers “Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.”

12. Chuck, in 11.20 Don’t Call Me Shurley, shrugs and tells Metatron “I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.”

13. From the start of 9.18 Meta Fiction, Metatron tells the viewer “To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.“

14. Michael and Adam on their dinner date in 15.08 Our Father, Who Aren’t In Heaven. Their answer is simply “Yes.”

All the images are watermarked with the creator’s url, “@aerialworms”. /End ID]

[23fallencomets]

That's right, Daniel still has to prove himself because he doesn't have a suga daddy to buy him a seat. Hope this makes you happy and hope you enjoy watching checo wreck that car for the rest of the race.

okay so first, do not come into my blog and be rude. that’s not gonna fly here as I respect all the drivers regardless of their driving abilities.

The reason I said he has to improve is because in the last 14 races, his teammate Yuki has outperformed him in every race but 5 which were Bahrain, Canada, Spain, Austria and Spa. If we count in Daniel’s DNF in Japan, then will have to count in the double DNF in China.

Yuki is ahead of Daniel in the standings by 10 points! That means Yuki missed out of points in 6 races!! If anything, Yuki deserves that seat. We can blame it all we want on the car and team and strategy all we want —and i’m genuinely biting myself in the ass with this given the team i follow—but one made it work and the other is struggling.

Do I personally believe that Daniel is out of his prime? No! He clearly still has potential, it’s just that he’s currently being outshined by a teammate that is clearly doing better. Yuki himself thinks that he deserves a chance in the Redull seat.

Now, with Checo.

The first time he dropped out of the top five was in Emilia when he ended up in P8, in Monaco he was crashed out, in Canada he DNF’d, in Spain he placed P8, P7 in Austria, he got P17 in Silverstone and Daniel got P13, both of them out of the points. In Hungary he got P8 again and P7 again in Belgium. In 14 races, Checo missed out on points 3 times. The reason it looked bad was because he crashed out back to back.

Wanna know the difference? Checo was and is still scoring points. In the last 14 races, Daniel outperformed Checo once. Besides those three races, Checo has consistently stayed within the top ten.

Compare Checo’s 131 points and 4 podiums to Daniel’s 12 points and 0 podiums.

Another reason his performance looks “bad” is because of the Red Bull dominance. While it’s not completely wavering, Mclaren has shown how fast they are with how consistent they’ve been within the top 10 and top 5.

It puts the Red Bull Dominance in jeopardy if Checo continues to place lower than the Ferraris and Mclarens, who again, are their biggest competitors right now.

Had it been any other team, they would have been satisfied with Checo’s placement but because it’s not just any team, it puts an insane amount of pressure on Checo.

And the car is bad!! Checo has been saying that he’s been struggling with it and no one bats an eye, but the moment Max struggled to pull a miracle out of his ass at the Hungarian GP, everyone started pointing out how shitty the car is.

Now, did Checo’s financial backing save his seat? In a way yeah. That’s the power of having personal sponsors and the financial means to back him up.

If Red Bull starts listening to their drivers and figure out what’s wrongs with the car, then i wholeheartedly believe that the two can climb to the top again and stay there.

And since it seems that you didn’t read the second part of my original post, I said that if Checo doesn’t improve then they’ll have no choice but to drop him and promote a VCARB driver and in parentheses i put Daniel even though i personally believe that Yuki deserves that seat.

In the end, that post was just my opinion but you had to go and be rude on my blog and I had to pull all this information out. Remember that there was at least three drivers in consideration for Checo’s seat, it genuinely could’ve been anyone.

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part |Chapter 13

A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.

Chapter 12 Chapter 14

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 13: This group’s broken

Summary: Randall is still a problem the group needs solve and come to an agreement about. The happenings of the barn is still something shaking some people. Feelings and traumas from the past comes to haunt Y/N making her anxiety boil and overthink a lot.

Warnings: swearing, angst, death, mentions of violence, gore, suicide attempt (not narrated, but mentioned), mentions of depression, mentions of torture, mentions of execution, traumas, anxiety, mentions of abusive relationships, fear of abandonment, brief discreet mentions of sex, loss, grief. Minors do not interact.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)

Word Count: 5,834

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. Also, there’s a bunch of warnings in this one but there’s also fluff, comfort and a bit of fun.

Finally Randall’s leg was well enough so he could survive alone in the wild that was Earth now, so Rick and Shane would carry him miles away from the farm and release him. You weren’t very happy about Rick going alone with Shane.

“Let me go with you, please.” You pleaded Rick for the millionth time, Shane wasn’t someone reliable anymore, you couldn’t risk losing your brother again and have Shane coming back with some lame excuse how he made for Otis.

“Y/N, I’m the one here with self defense skills, not you. I can handle myself well without you. I need you here.” Rick said, and that would be the last time he would tell you, he was losing his temper already. “No discussion.”

“Be careful, please. He’s dangerous.” You hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll be, don’t worry. I need this time alone with him. I’m coming back.” He assured you and hoped it would really turn out like this, because you could see the madness in his eyes, and by how we was obsessed with Lori… you didn’t doubt he would be able to do atrocities even to his ‘brother’.

After they left, you couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling you had on the pitch of your stomach. You were going to help around in the farm and in the house, but your mind couldn’t stop the worry. You were giving the horses water when you heard a knock on the stables door, you look to your side and you saw Daryl. As much as the idea of scaring you was tempting enough, he chose not to do so.

“Just wanted to let ya know I’m gonna hunt, maybe bring somethin’ good.” He approached you.

“Ok, be careful, please and don’t come back late. I’m already worried enough by Rick.” You said, then looked both sides and didn’t see anyone around. You tiptoed and pecked his lips.

He blushed, he had been doing way more than this with you and he blushed because you gave him a small kiss inside a stable where the only witnesses were the horses. He knew you were worried about Rick being alone with Shane, things between you and Shane had gone bad since the day of the happenings of the barn and it was just going down. When Daryl told you one night that he thought Shane had killed Otis, things spiraled really quick and you started seeing Shane with different eyes, many attitudes from him made sense actually. He wasn’t the person that you used to know anymore.

“Dun worry. Rick’s tough, he basically came back from the dead, nothing bad is happening to him.” He said, he could practically read your mind and know everything you were thinking about it.

“And you?”

“Me too. I’m gonna be careful. I promise, I’ll be back in one piece.” He gave you a quick kiss, you said your goodbyes and you went back to your chores.

Lori was inside the house helping with the chores and also helping Maggie taking care of Beth. She was still not good, she was in a state of depression that got all of you worried. Lori was preparing a lunch for Beth, so you were around the kitchen with her and Maggie. Maggie was talking about Glenn with Lori, you decided to not participate of the conversation, but you were listening to everything. Lori was more experienced on the topic of relationships, you knew what was good or not, but just theoretically. Until now you had had just one boyfriend before Daryl and it was a shitty experience, so you didn’t know if you had something wise to say even though you were older than Maggie. You thought it was a bit too much when Lori said that Glenn should man up, imagine saying it to the young man, he would be sad or really offended, or both.

“Glenn is just scared, he’s a good guy. You’re probably his first love, I can’t say it for sure, but that’s what it seems. He’ll overcome this fear of him. Don’t worry.” You passed an arm on Maggie’s shoulder and gave a little squeeze on her arm to reassure her.

“And how about you and grumpy man? Have you already said the words?” She elbowed you playfully.

“Hmm… no. Not exactly. I don’t know if it’s like this.” You said, you were always reserved about your personal matters, always keeping everything to yourself, afraid to let people know your feelings or to be exposed and feel weak. But maybe, some girl talk wouldn’t be that bad. “He said the other day I was his and I also said it to him…” You paused thinking if you’d say the other thing that came to your mind to them.

“And…?” Lori asked. “We know there’s more. Spill it.”

“He… he said that his… you know… was mine.” You blushed instantly talking about it and thinking about it. Was it correct to tell such thing to others? You never knew what was ok, and what wasn’t, but it’s not like if you were telling all the sordid details of what you two did.

Lori made a face as if she was thinking ‘wow, the man really have some balls’ and Maggie just had a fit of giggles, giving you a side hug and squeezing you. “It’s almost the same thing as saying that 3 words.” Maggie observed.

“It isn’t, this is possessiveness which is normal in relationships even the healthy ones. But anybody can have this without love.” You told Maggie, she was young, probably didn’t have unhealthy relationships she wouldn’t know. You were maybe 8 or 9 years older than her, it was a different experience, especially with broken people.

“Well… everybody can see, but we can’t stop you from being stubborn. I need to go help Glenn, but if you need anything you can call me.” She said and then turned to Lori. “Thank you so much for helping with Beth.”

“It’s nothing really.” Lori said and got the tray to give lunch for Beth.

You stayed at the house and helped Lori at the kitchen, you washed some dishes and cleaned and organized the room. After one hour or so, Lori went to Beth’s room to get the tray back. She came back with untouched food, Beth couldn’t continue like that. When she was throwing away what Beth didn’t eat, she suddenly stopped and ran from the kitchen.

“What happened? Lori?” You asked her, but she was already gone. She came back a knife in hand and in a rush.

“Go and Keep an eye on Beth. I’m gonna bring Maggie or Hershel.” She said and left.

You left the kitchen and went to Beth’s room, on your way you put the pieces together and realized Beth had hidden the knife and was probably going to attempt something against herself. Soon Lori arrived with Maggie and Andrea, Maggie asked to be left alone with Beth and all of you went back to the kitchen.

You were trying to be in good terms with Andrea again, so you decided you’d try not to talk back at her when she said stupid things, even though they were talking about Beth. You just stayed there watching while they talked Andrea thought Beth should make her own choice, which is very different from what happened with her. Beth is just a kid and she’s not dying because she was bitten, so why let her commit suicide? She should be talked to and taken care of to help her get better. You bit your tongue trying to not express yourself, but you just couldn’t contain it when Andrea brought up the fact that Lori had her husband back, her child was saved, she had a baby on the way and had a ‘boyfriend’. And Andrea had to finish bringing you up in the middle of the thing, did you disagree with her? Yes. But did you say anything about it? No, just on your mind. So why bring you to the discussion?

“And you…” She pointed at you startling you at the suddenly call. “You have your brother, your nephew, a new nibling on the way and you’re fucking Dixon like rabbits, you would never understand.”

“Andrea, are you serious? I wasn’t even in the discussion. Why do you always involve me in your shit? You don’t get to speak like this to Lori, we had a lot of blessings, but we also suffered like everyone else. Do you think we were happy the whole time we thought Rick was dead? Or that it didn’t cross our minds that Carl was going to die? You think we didn’t suffer because of Amy, Jim, Jacqui, Sophia or all the others lost we had along the way?” She said everything she wanted to Lori and now she was going to listen to you. “And why do you mind who I fuck? You’re fucking Shane, and nobody told you a word. Mind your own business.”

You almost didn’t stop to breath while the words just came out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I wasn’t going to say anything regarding Beth, but she’s only sixteen. She’s a kid, we have to protect her and try to help her get better, and not encourage the way out. Andrea, I think we’re never going to be in good terms again, there’s no way. You’re not the same anymore.”

You left the house and went back to the camp, finding Carl and Luna playing with a stick. Carl had been acting colder and colder in the last days, it was good to see him being a kid, even if it was for a brief moment. You played a little with them, but to be honest you were still nervous about Andrea and worried about Beth.

After 30 minutes, maybe one hour, you didn’t know exactly, you heard a commotion in the house. You told Carl to stay there and ran to see what happened. When you arrived to the source Lori and Maggie had just opened the door to the bathroom and there was a crying Beth, hand on her bleeding pulse, asking for help and saying she was sorry. You learned Maggie had left Beth alone with Andrea and it was her biggest mistake, because she left the girl alone and God knows what she said to her. Maggie had a fight with Andrea and told her to never again step in the house. You were done, your stress level was up on the sky already.

When it was almost getting dark you saw Daryl coming back, you walked in his direction happy to see him and have an excuse to not be in the camp, hence near to Andrea. You met him halfway, he had some rabbits and squirrels, you knew it probably wasn’t what he really wanted but you were grateful for any meat that he brought back.

“I thought you’d never comeback.” You said walking by his side.

“I said I’d comeback.” He answered and took a quick glance at you. “Jus’ didn’t wanna comeback without something.”

“We’re all grateful to you, bringing meat or not.” You said while you arrived the small camp of yours.

He took everything he needed to start to skin what he brought and clean so it would be ready for consumption. You sat near him observing his work, you never tried, but now you had observed him doing it so much that you’d probably be able to skin something if you needed or wanted to.

“Wha’s wrong?” He asked still concentrated on his job. Once again, you were surprised on how he could know something was not right. “I can see all over ya that somethin’ is bothering ya.”

“Today was a stressful day” You propped your elbows on your knees and rested your face between your hands. You recalled all the situation with Beth and Andrea, and you just wish this day didn’t happen, and it was far from being one of your worst days.

“Wha’ happened?” He lifted his head from his work and took a look at you. You looked tired, everyone was always tired nowadays, but it was not only physical it seemed that your mind was also tired.

“Andrea was a bitch. I swear I tried to be on good terms with her again. And Beth tried the way out, I believe encouraged by Andrea. Maggie left them alone and Andrea also left Beth alone.” You gave him the short story of all that happened. “I should have gone with you.”

“Yeah, ya should.” That was his way of saying ‘I missed you’.

Soon you saw the car in which Rick, Shane and Randall left arriving back in the property. When you saw Rick getting off the car you felt relieved to see him, but apparently they had comeback with Randall. Shit, it wasn’t over. As soon as Daryl finished skinning and cleaning the hunt, you went to to the camp to meet Rick and know what happened.

Once you arrived you saw that Rick had bruises and cuts on his face, no way it was the kid, walkers? No. It was Shane. Damn, he had the audacity to attack Rick. You didn’t even think, you turned around, hot headed and ready to go look for Shane and beat the hell out of him.

“Where d’ya think ya’re going?” Daryl hold your arm stopping you to go anywhere. He knew where you were going, sometimes he could read you so easily that it surprised him.

“I’m going to give Shane hell, nobody gets to touch my brother.” You yanked your arm from Daryl’s hand, just for him to catch you again, holding his arms around you so you couldn’t go. That wasn’t the moment for you to be reckless.

“Y/N, do you think I was just beaten? I also beat him.” Rick reasoned with you.

“Either way, it wasn’t enough, he deserves worse.” You said, still fighting – in vain - in Daryl’s arm.

“Woman, stop. Ya’re being more hot-head and stubborn than me.” Daryl turned you around and hold you by the shoulders. “Look at me.” He commanded, and you looked at him, right in his beautiful blue eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid. He’s uncontrollable and ya know it. If he lays a finger on ya, I dunno what I’m capable of doing and I dun wanna find out.”

“Ok.” You answered and didn’t try to go for Shane, but you still felt like ending him. “Why did you bring the kid back?” You directed the question to Rick.

“He said he studied with Maggie. Which means he knows where the farm is.” Rick ran his hand on his face. “We’ll need another solution.”

The other day, after breakfast, Daryl went to the room where Randall was, he said he was going to talk with him. It was taking a long time for him to return and you were starting to get worried.

“Ok, that’s it. I’m going to see what is taking him so long to come back.” You told your brother.

“Don’t, the kid is handcuffed. There’s nothing he can do against Daryl.” Rick said standing on your way. “I don’t wanna you close to that guy.”

“I think you had said you’d stop treating me like a child, Rick.” You looked at his face and you could see there was something wrong. “Are you two hiding something? That’s it? Now you have secret agreements between both of you?”

Before Rick could say anything, you saw Daryl coming in your direction. Was that Blood on his hand? ‘Holy shit! What the hell have you done Daryl Dixon?’, you thought. He arrived telling you all the information he got from the kid, there were 30 in his group, they were violent and dangerous, they raped women. You followed Daryl to your tent, you could feel he was still angry, so you were thinking about what should be the best approach.

“D. Let me see your hands.” You requested and he started organizing his things to leave and go into the woods.

“There’s nothing to see, I’m good.” He said with some arrows in his hand.

“Daryl.” He ignored you.

“Daryl Dixon.” He ignored you again, stuffing things on his backpack, so you just got close to him silently and yanked his backpack throwing it on the ground.

“What the fuck Y/N?” He shouted at you, now you had his full attention.

“Stop, this shit! I’m talking to you, your hands are hurt! Let me take care of them.” You told him your voice high. He looked at you impatient. You took his hand and guided him to one of the beach chairs. “Sit.”

“I ain’t a dog.” He complained while you made him sit.

“So, why are you obeying me?” You threw back while you picked the First Aid kit inside the tent. You were playing with fire and you knew it.

He tried to get up while he mumbled something in protest that you couldn’t understand. But you were faster than him and pressed his shoulder down so he would sit again. You took the other chair and brought it close to him, sitting in front of him, your legs between his so you could be closer to take care of his hand.

“Gimme your paw, I mean, your hand.” You joked one hand extended on his direction waiting for him to give you his hand. “If I’m a puppy, you might as well be one. Or maybe you’re a Kitten, you are as skittish as one.”

He gave you his left hand very reluctantly, but he knew you would not let him be if he didn’t. You took his hand and saw how his knuckles were hurt, your heart ache by seeing his hand like this, but you also felt uneasy about the young man that was on the other side of his fist. You took some alcohol and wet a cotton swab to pass where he was hurt.

“It’s gonna hurt.” You alerted him, he didn’t say anything. He just observed your small hand holding his and tendering his wounds with the cotton swab, hissing when it hurt too much. “Did Rick ask you to do this?”

“No.” He answered, short… good he didn’t want to talk.

“Did he know about it?”

“Maybe.” He answered eyes on your hands now cleaning the wounds with boric-water.

“Or he did or he didn’t. Gonna take it as he did, he was acting suspect.” You stated, looking at your first aid kit for some ointment.

“Are ya angry at me?” He asked while you passed the ointment on his wounds.

“No, just concerned and upset. Gimme your other hand.” You took his other hand and started to give the same care. “I don’t like both of you hiding things from me.”

“ ‘m sorry, ya dun agree with what I’ve done, do ya?” He asked, head still down paying attention to you.

“Torturing isn’t right.”

“I didn’t have an option, we needed the information about his group.” You cleaned his other hand. “His group… the things he said they did… he’s not someone to be around or for us to let go, he knows where the farm is.”

“So, do you think we should kill him?” You asked a cotton swab passing on his hand.

“Yes.” He said, you were conflicted. You were always taught that killing was wrong, you can’t take life from someone. Unless it’s a walker, of course. Or, if your life is in danger. But execute someone? It sounded wrong, but at the same time… you should think about the group safety. “Don’t ya agree?”

“I don’t know… I think it’s wrong, but I also see that we’re out of better options.” You passed the ointment on his hand.

“Are ya comin’ to the woods with me?” He asked a little apprehensive that you wouldn’t want to be with him because you were upset.

“Thought you’d never ask.” You looked at him and smiled, no way you’d be stuck in the farm again in the middle of all the chaos.

You were having things done to go, when you saw Dale arriving followed by Luna swinging her tail. Dale came to talk to you about the decision of killing Randall, he wanted to know what both of you thought, and of course try to convince you otherwise if you thought the boy should be killed.

“I’m not sure Dale, really. At the same time I think we shouldn’t, I don’t see any other solution.” You said, despite you thought your opinion would not be so important in the end. Dale tried reasoning with Daryl to no avail.

“This group’s broken.” He said, and when you heard that… you couldn’t help but feel bad. Was really your group broken? Did Daryl think the group wasn’t good enough for him anymore? Did he want to leave? Would he leave without you? Would he even tell you if he decided to leave? Was he tired of you?

You were so caught up in your anxious thoughts that you didn’t even saw that Dale was long gone and Daryl was calling you so you could go. “Pup, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hand waving in front of you worried.

“Nothing.” You lied, and he knew you lied. “Let’s go?”

He got his things, you got yours, Luna followed you and you walked silently until you reached the woods. You were open and comfortable with Daryl, you always were and it even annoyed you some times, because you would speak whatever is on your mind, and in your opinion you said things you shouldn’t say. But you couldn’t talk about your feelings, or you tried not to, because of a bunch of insecurities clouding your thoughts. He wasn’t also very comfortable about talking about feelings, so it was understandable, but at the same time he felt uneasy if he didn’t know everything that’s on your mind. He held your hand and it startled you from your unstoppable thoughts.

“Ya lied again.” He didn’t took his eyes from the woods searching for any danger or possible hunt. His voice didn’t change the tone, there was no anger or negative feelings on his speaking.

“I don’t wanna talk about my feelings.” You said looking at your feet attentive to where you stepped, your other hand slightly brushing over Luna’s head.

“But I want to know what ya’re feeling. I need to.” He said, damn… did he sound vulnerable? Was he weak? He couldn’t allow himself to look pathetic and weak, but he also didn’t want to mistreat you. “ ‘m not good talking ‘bout feelings, but I always need to know yers.”

You stopped walking and you turned to him, now holding both of his hands, or more like his hands engulfing yours. “Be honest.”

“Never lied to ya.” He said looking at your face while you were looking down at your hands. “Look at me, please.”

You lifted your head, looking right at his eyes and all you saw was worry. You took a deep breath taking all the courage you had to speak. “Are you…” ‘not happy with me?’ You wanted to complete but stopped mid-sentence. “Do you wanna leave us?”

“Of course not. Where did this come from?” He asked, but before you could answer his mind started to put the pieces together. “That’s because I said the group’s broken, isn’t it?”

“Yes” you said, just that. Unable to say more or add anything else that were running like a tornado inside your mind.

“It wasn’t a lie. I think the group’s broken. Shane’s crazy. Andrea’s reckless and listens to Shane. Carol’s still broken because of Sophia. Glenn… if Hershel decided to kick us from the farm, he’d stay behind and I don’t blame him. This group isn’t like it used to be, not that we were perfect befor’ , we never were.” You took all his words putting everything together and trying to reason what he said. Still feeling uneasy. “Wha’s on yer head?”

“It’s just… when you said it, it seemed like you didn’t care anymore about the group or what happens with it.” You looked at his growing bangs that fell on his forehead, or you wouldn’t be able to say it if you looked at his eyes. “Or…” You paused, no, no, you couldn’t say what you were thinking not at all. You’d scare him, he’d leave you.

“Or wha’ baby?” You looked at his eyes again, and with the worry you saw a softness that you didn’t quite know what it meant. He never called you ‘baby’ outside of the sheets and it made your heart jump and butterflies fly in your stomach.

“Or…” you shifted your eyes to look at your hands, tears threatening to fall. Shit. Why were you so emotional and making a big thing of something this small. “That you didn’t want me and would leave.”

Things had been so good between both of you, that Daryl forgot you still had traumas from your past relationship, traumas that would trigger only when you were in a relationship and could experience things again. And now, was one of those moments. He couldn’t imagine half the shit you’ve been put through so you’d think he would leave you or that he didn’t want you, after he asked you to live with him, after he showed you his scars… after both of you broke so many walls that were built around yourselves.

He let go of your hands and hugged you, you always reassured him when he had his insecurities, now was the moment for him to do the same for you. “I ain’t leaving.” One of his arms was around your waist while the other was in your head bringing your face to hide between his chest and shoulder. “I want ya, and I dun see myself not wanting ya any time soon.”

It was as if a tap was open and the tears that were in your eyes fell making you let little sniffs and hold both hands on Daryl’s vest. “I told Rick, and I’m telling ya now, I ain’t playing with ya.” He didn’t put any names on what you had, he never said ‘I like you’ or ‘I love you’, he didn’t even know how to name what he felt or if he could feel any of those things. But he knew he wanted you, he needed you and he was going to protect you. He had already told you, you were his and indirectly that he was yours, but he couldn’t bring any of those words, these simple words scared him… So he said what he could manage to come out of his mouth. “We’re together.”

You took your face from his chest and looked at his face, he was serious, this wasn’t any sick joke. You should’ve known, you knew Daryl, he wasn’t like that… and you never doubted it. You shouldn’t start doing it now just because you had a relationship. He was not him. He was Daryl and you knew you could trust him. “I’m sorry. I think my period is close, or something…” It was probably something, but you could always blame the hormones, so why not?

He kissed the top of your head tenderly and looked at your face again, now you were better. You looked more like yourself when there wasn’t all those intrusive thoughts and anxiety. “What do ya say I teach ya a little bit of hunting and tracking?” He asked.

“I was waiting for the day you’d offer me this.” You smiled, your hands now resting flat open on his chest. “I’d love if you taught me.”

When it was close to sunset you and Daryl came back to the farm, you didn’t hunt anything as he taught you were still learning so it didn’t go good. He held your hand in his intertwining your fingers and you walked in silence, Luna leading the way in front of you sometimes stopping to wait for your slow asses.

In the moment you arrived at the farm Rick made a call, he was waiting for both of you to make a reunion so everyone could say their opinions about the boy Randall. Everyone except Dale wanted to kill the young man, Dale was extremely disappointed. You still didn’t know what to think about it, but you knew Dale was right.

“I’m with Dale.” You suddenly said and walked to stay by Dale’s side, even though you knew there was no way of winning the vote, you wanted to stay true to yourself. “He’s not his group and as far as we know he didn’t commit a crime that he deserves death penalty.”

You felt like you would combust at any moment just by the stares of Rick and Daryl that didn’t quite understand why you were siding with Dale and not thinking clearly about the wellbeing of the group. Shane also looked at you like you were insane, but you didn’t give a single fuck about it, so it was ok. The others were neutral at you. Soon Andrea also said she was with Dale, but in the end you three weren’t enough to deprive the group from killing Randall.

Everybody left the room to continue their activities, it was getting dark so Daryl, Rick and Shane would take the prisoner to do what they needed to. You were ready to descend the porch stairs when Daryl held your arm slightly and put you aside.

“We need to talk.” He said, and you already knew.

“Is it because I agreed with Dale?” You asked, you knew the answer. “Do you hate me because I disagreed from the group?” All that mattered was that if he would change about you just because you didn’t agree with them.

“Yeah, and I dun hate ya.” Actually it was quite the opposite, but he was concerned about your choices.

“I knew the majority of us would choose his death, my vote would make no difference. So I decided to stay true to myself.” You said, you could see understanding crossing his face by each word you said. “Just because I don’t think it’s right, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be done.”

He nodded at you. “Alright, I ain’t upset. Go stay with Lori while we do this.”

You were with Lori when you saw the three taking Randall to the barn, you held your sister’s hand as a comfort for you. You weren’t going to see the execution, but knowing someone, a human being would be killed in the same place you were was scaring. You were comfortable killing walkers, they weren’t alive anymore, they were just walking corpses. In reality you thought it was merciful to kill the monster that once was a person.

“Don’t think much about it, it’s worse if you do.” Lori tried to calm your nerves, but it was impossible to not think about it.

After some time you didn’t listen to any gun shot and soon you saw Rick and Carl arriving to camp. Wait, Carl? Shit. Shit. Shit. Rick explained that Carl went there to see and that he was encouraging to kill the man. What was happening to the kid? He couldn’t lose himself so quickly like this. Rick wasn’t able to do this with Carl looking, so he postponed the execution.

“Where’s Daryl?” You asked, you saw everyone but him.

“He’s locking Randall again, he’s probably gonna be here soon.” As soon as he finished talking all of you listened to extremely pained screams.

Dale!

You ran in the direction of the screams, Daryl being the first to arrive started shouting for help. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was bad. All of you arrived almost at the same time and what you saw was heartbreaking, all his guts coming out of his ripped stomach. No. You cried. No.

“Hershel!” Rick shouted, the only thing he thought was you all needed him there to take care of Dale.

“It’s too late, Rick.” You said, tears rolling down your cheeks. You knew as much medicine as Hershel knew, both of you vets, the old man was just more experienced and have treated more people than you, that had only cleaned T.’s wound and took care of Daryl’s hands. “There’s nothing he can do.”

Hershel arrived and said the same thing, you couldn’t even move Dale. He was agonizing. Andrea pleaded that someone did something. Everyone was in pain by seeing Dale like that. He didn’t deserve this kind of death. Rick aimed his gun at Dale, it was best if someone ended this for him. You turned your back, you didn’t want to see, you had already seen more than you wanted to see. You wait for the gun shot, but before you listen to it there’s a raspy voice. “Sorry, brother.” And soon after Daryl’s voice the sound of the shot.

You were waiting for the shot. You knew it was going to happen, but you jumped at it a cry living your lips. You covered your mouth trying to muffle your sobs. You felt a pain in your chest, everybody felt it. There were cries, sobs and lamenting.

That night you cried yourself to sleep, and it wasn’t a peaceful one, even having Daryl’s soothing presence near you.

Dale was the group’s heart and now you felt like your group were definitely broken.

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[purecommemasolitude]

Okay so re: Darry as the captain in a sound of music AU. This is just one possible route that I thought up last night and typed out while I couldn’t sleep

It’s the type of AU where we steal beats and plot points from TSOM and transfer them into the outsiders, because not being rich is very important to why Darry is the way he is (also for reasons I outline below I made Two-Bit Maria and that man is never even going to think about becoming a religious career man)

And also I don’t actually know when he and Two-Bit would end up together because with some of the changes I made I couldn't make it work within the main plot, so it would have to be in an event bit taken from TSOM. So it’s not in the bullet points

anyway I'll put the bullet points I typed up in an hour at midnight yesterday below the cut because it’s long but I will admit. this one kind of got away from me

- okay so Darry is the captain. Obv

- High school & football take the place of the navy

- Racked my brain for a bit and I think Two-Bit is Maria?? Like I said I don’t really go in for outsiders ships anyway so I cross-referenced usual Darry LIs and general characters and he was the only one who was age-appropriate and also could have a Maria vibe (is able to find the light in life, willing to poke at a cold figure until it shows emotion, gets along with the brothers in canon)

- Soda & Pony are aged down because otherwise this wouldn’t make any sense — Soda is 14 going on 15 and Pony’s 12

- (Steve and Johnny are also aged down to match their respective buddies so the boys can still have friends I think. I haven’t decided what to do with Dally yet in this AU — I would put him as Max with a personality transplant but I don’t know if I can see Dally being chill with Darry’s attempt to. Play into respectability politics essentially)

- Darry’s infinitely more stressed supporting two more needy kids on his meagre income alone. Soda does odd jobs but nothing full time

- This manifests in him being colder / less outwardly affectionate than in the book to Soda as well as Pony

- Furthermore he’s desperately trying to ensure their futures, which means he disapproves of them being too outwardly greaser, both for separation reasons and for respectability reasons down the line

- However being 12 and 14 means they’re less able to control their emotions and understand Darry. So the guy from the state comes down and sees them and says you need to spend more time with these kids man. They’re not loved

- Shit.

- Two-Bit, meanwhile, is living an unluckier life than the book

- After his father left his mother was only able to choose one kid to be able to support, and because he was older and more self sufficient, Two-Bit had to go

- He grows up bouncing around from orphanage to foster home to foster home to orphanage etc, erasing his family out of his mind because it hurts too much and Two-Bit Mathews does not like to dwell on things that hurt him

- Upon turning 18, he’s out of the system and despite his nature is forced to get a job to survive

- He does odd jobs around and scrounges enough money to pay for a shitty shitty motel

- Meets Marcia through these jobs, and they strike up a friendship

- However most of these odd jobs are a lot of labour and very unstable so he’s looking for better & easier work

- He starts thinking and he thinks of his own childhood. If there had been someone else around to watch him, maybe his mother wouldn’t have had to give him away

- And then he has one too many encounters with the bugs in his motel and decides fuck it. I’m putting an ad in the paper

- Darry’s reading the news as he does one night when he sees what may very well be God’s gift to the Curtis family

- There’s someone willing to work for — well, he can’t afford that, just like he can’t afford any of the other prices he’s seen on nannies and babysitters and watchers — but he’s also willing to work for pretty much nothing if he gets lodging

- Soda & Pony are still bunking together for nightmare reasons, and Darry’s sleeping in his own room, so he sits Soda down and asks him if he’s okay with someone else using his old room

- If he’s not, Darry will have to move into their parents’ room, but thank God he is

- So Darry contacts Two-Bit who is surprised that he’s a man and not a single mom but agrees readily

- Darry’s wary of Two-Bit’s manner but monetarily he’s desperate

- Two-Bit meanwhile takes one look at the Curtis house and is like damn no one ever has any fun within these walls. I’ve gotta change that

- Instead of making new clothes for them, Two-Bit teaches them how to grease their hair

- (Darry was away working on a house a little out of the city — it’s a placing he’d normally have had to decline because of the kids, but because of Two-Bit he’s able to accept and get a slightly higher pay)

- Darry is of course furious but Two-Bit argues back, saying that kids need self-expression and haven’t you noticed how happy they are about their hair, and besides, you know damn well grease is more than just what you put in your hair, Curtis. You think Socs can’t take one look at those boys and see exactly what they came from? Exactly what they are? You’re out of your mind.

- We probably tie Maria’s impassioned “please, love all of them” speech to here — then again it’s been a while so maybe somewhere else is better we’ll have to see

- Two-Bit especially throws accusations at him about how Ponyboy thinks his brother doesn’t even love him, and if he’s not going to prove he cares about them then maybe they all would be better off without each other

- He thinks Darry might punch him for that but instead he staggers back like he’s been hit

- Darry remembers what this whole thing was for and resolves to be better

- In showing more of his love for his brothers he also shows more of his personality to Two-Bit, who wasn’t expecting to like this guy as much as he does

- He looks at how hard he fights to keep his family together when his own fell apart for very similar reasons and his heart hurts

- Also Sandy is Rolf (Ralf?? Whatever Liesl’s nazi boytoy’s name is)

- Except we are cutting the nazis because there is no not-grossly insensitive way to do the nazis

- We might have to cut the music theme too? Which is a SHAME, but none of Darry’s hobbies work. So we may just make him dig out his dad’s old guitar or we’ll just ignore that because the music theme, as far as characters go, isn’t as important in this AU. Or maybe music = the greaser lifestyle

- Anyway, life continues and it’s as good as can be, bla bla, somehow Dally is there, without realizing Two-Bit and Darry are catching feelings for each other

- One day, Ponyboy and Soda make some innocent remark about Two-Bit being in love with their brother, and he bluescreens

- Because. Oh shit. He’s in love with their brother.

- And the class difference & pre-existing engagement as reasons they can’t be together in the original is replaced with good old fashioned homophobia in this one, and Two-Bit denies and gets the hell out of there before anyone, let alone Darry notices

- He uses his meagre savings to return to the shitty motel, until finally he talks with Marcia and she’s like what the heck. Why did you leave a dream job to go back to the crummiest motel imaginable

- He dodges and denies but one of the things that drew him to her in the first place is that she’s sharp

- Marcia figures it out, or at least something very close to the truth, and while she’s too aware of 60s homophobia to actually urge him back, she does half-convince him through sneaky means like calling him a scaredy-cat who can’t even tell a few lies until the situation passes

- He goes back to the motel and thinks hard about the situation and remembers how much happier the kids were with someone to keep them company when they were done running around before Darry got home

- He thinks about how Darry was able to get better pay with him there and how much that helped give the family breathing space

- He thinks about how it really didn’t even feel like a job, which is a big draw to someone as disinclined to work as Two-Bit

- And he also thinks about how truly shitty the motel is. And decides to go back

- It’s for the good of the family, he convinces himself, telling himself he does not miss them at all

- He returns, no one says anything about him being in love with anyone, because the boys have learned that when they point it out their new brother leaves, and they’re not about to risk that again

- Darry & Two-Bit have a reunion with a lot of unspoken feelings and they do NOT get together because neither of them are willing to risk outing themselves for the sake of a one in a million chance

- Instead they do a lot of prolonged longing eye contact and are too busy looking at each other to notice Soda and Ponyboy sharing confirming glanced themselves

- So things continue kind of like they were before but with more pining, and also Austria is replaced by the Curtis house, which they’re in danger of losing

- Both Darry and Two-Bit are terrified the boys are going to end up following their respective paths, and they end up having a lot of talks about their futures that turn into co-parenting discussions that turn into heart-to-hearts about themselves

- Darry learns that Two-Bit never found his family again, and does some digging and asks some old school friends and lo and behold, they’re still in town, and here’s their address.

- Two-Bit, who has managed to convince himself that he made up being in love with Darry, sees this man who has every right to drop all three of the people in the house like a hot potato and chase the dreams he’s determined and ambitious and intelligent enough to get, pouring every ounce of his being into care for others, who takes hard times and instead of drinking them away or giving up pushes himself past the edge and comes out swinging, and realizes that he is still in love with Darry. And maybe he will never not be in love with Darry.

- Unfortunate!

- He came back determined to never run away again, and he’s sticking by that, even though it’s never been harder to live under the same roof as Darry and not Do something about his feelings

- (Also, at some point Soda gets jumped, and together with Two-Bit he fights them off. When they all talk about it later at some point in the Curtis home, someone makes an offhand comment about how Two-Bit is basically family and then he really resolves to not leave unless Darry chases him out with a broom)

- Maria and Liesl’s Sixteen Going On Seventeen Reprise is replaced with Two-Bit and Soda having a talk about Sandy, during which Two-Bit talks about being in love like he’s experienced it, which of course he has, but Darry overhears and it puts a lot of stupid hope into his heart because to his knowledge Two-Bit’s never gone steady with someone, and some of his descriptions sound awful familiar…..

- But he crushes those thoughts because he’s learned by now that Darry Curtis does not get lucky breaks

- And if he does confess and it goes wrong, which it will, it could mean his brothers getting taken away

- But he watches Two-Bit joke around with his brothers and sees someone who takes everything life throws at him and inexplicably grins back at it, who is just as intelligent as Darry is but in a way that takes its time to make itself understood, and who cares about his brothers as much as he does, and it’s stupid and hopeless, but he wants. Heaven help him, he wants so badly

- Meanwhile, he’s gotten a job offer. It’s a good job offer too, it means they could maybe afford to spend extra money on new clothes or nicer groceries

- And it’s an office job, someone who heard of him through the bookkeeping he does as his second job for his roofing company, which means fewer hours and more time with the people he cares about

- There’s a recreational football league in the area he’s never had time to join, or Two-Bit’s suggested coaching a younger team too, so he can return to workouts he likes rather than workouts that make his body ache like a man of 40 instead of 20

- It’s pretty much perfect. But it’s halfway across the city and it means they’d have to move out of their parents’ home

- (Yes this is Switzerland. It’s a lot harder to replicate without pre-WW2 Europe)

- He’s conflicted, Two-Bit thinks he should go for it but is also convinced he’s going to be left behind in the move

- Soda & Pony don’t want to leave but they do want Darry to work less so they’re also conflicted

- Two-Bit is listing out reasons for the move and one of them is that they’d be able to cut his cost since Darry’d be home more

- Darry looks at him and carefully says, “you wouldn’t be coming with us?”

- Two-Bit, with a raised eyebrow masking his heart starting to hope, says “well, do you want me there?”

- Darry is too stressed and tired and conflicted to mince his words when he replies, “of course.” like it’s a given, like they’re maybe something more than what they pretend

- But he still doesn’t want to move, until one day they have no choice: if they don’t get out of there, they’re going to lose the house. It’s just not in suitable shape for growing boys, says the state. They don’t have enough money to pay for renovations but Darry is going to rebuild the entire thing himself if he has to, damn it all, until Two-Bit asks him to talk and convinces him to move on

- “Your parents live on in your brothers more than in this house. Your parents live on in you more than in this house. You want to keep their memory alive? Start by doing what they would want you to do, and let yourself have an easy break for once.”

- And so they pack up and Darry takes the offer, but before they leave, Two-Bit visits his family

- It goes… well. Sort of. After seeing Darry run himself into the ground he’s forgiven his mother, and his sister is open to the idea of having a brother

- Their lives were better off than they would’ve been if he’d stayed but his was not and that hurts

- But he remembers the three people who now view him as their own like he was always there, and somehow the pain eases, and when his mother makes him promise to visit again, he actually means it when he agrees

- They gather to say one last good bye to the Curtis home, and despite facing the most unknowns since any of them can remember, they’re together, and that’s enough

The end <3 this is just one possible route that I thought of, I truly have no idea if this is cooking or if the kitchen is burning down

[artist-issues]

On the Percy Jackson series, now that the season has concluded, do you have any thoughts on it, whether standalone or as an adaptation, about what worked and didn't work in it? I ask partly because I want to analyse it as its own thing but I can't stop getting hung up on the changes and I'm not completely sure why.

Of all things, Gabe is the big one for me. They turned him from a repulsive abuser to a pathetic manchild who lacks the power dynamic of his book counterpart and was so consistently treated as comic relief that I actually pitied him. The fact that he shares the fate of his book counterpart actually kind of angers me and it's hard for me to look past that. It left a mean-spirited taste in my mouth.

I don’t think I’ve talked enough about what did work, and I do think there’s a place for talking about that, so I’m glad you asked!

I think Walker Scobell could play a really excellent Percy Jackson. And I think Leah Jeffries and Aryan Simhadri are both very endearing in their roles.

I’m not going to throw shade on 14 year-old actors and actresses. There’s no shade to throw. Acting is vulnerability combined with introspection and understanding. No teenager is going to have the same level of vulnerability, understanding, and introspection, expressed with the same skill, as we’re used to seeing in adults, period. And the show doesn’t do them any favors by giving them very adult lines and very adult-behaving characters to play.

Which segues nicely into—the character’s “arcs” are completely different in the show, but they feel more like…”alternate universe” characters than “out-of-character-rewrites.” For the most part.

I already touched on how Grover is a completely different Grover in the TV show. His fear is both too serious and not extreme enough. He’s not comedic. Instead, he is a voice of reason, and he does have a maturity the other two don’t have. He’s written to talk to the other adults differently than Percy and Annabeth are—more like equals, less like teen-vs-adults. You can easily believe that Grover is a 24 year-old in a kid’s body during those scenes, like the ones with Ares.

But there’s a reason he’s not like that in the Percy Jackson books; he’s comedic, and he’s Percy’s best friend. Percy’s only 12 when they meet; it’s weird for a 12 year-old to be best friends with a 24 year-old—who BEHAVES like a 35 year-old, with all the gravity, and maturity, etc. But if the 24 year-old is a magical creature who, for his species, is still pretty young, and has a comedically immature personality, then the chemistry works much better. Anyway. Not my point.

My point is, Grover might not be Grover, but you can still see trace elements of Grover in him. Like how you can see echoes of Spider-Man in Spider-Gwen’s story. It’s an alternate-universe, not a do-over.

Grover still wants to be a seeker.

Grover still feels guilty about not taking better care of Thalia.

Grover still gets the most outraged and cares the most deeply about nature and crimes against nature.

Grover is still a peace-lover at heart, so he’s the most gentle in relational interactions.

‘That kind of stuff is still there. It’s just re-contextualized and…made less fun. That’s all. More serious. More grit.

Same thing with Annabeth:

Annabeth still wants to prove she’s the best of the best.

Annabeth’s still given up on her normal family and is most comfortable in life-or-death strategizing.

Annabeth’s still smart, but specifically wise enough to notice Percy’s heart of gold while everyone else is busy being afraid of or disappointed in him.

Same thing with Percy:

Percy still has the stubborn rebelliousness we all know and love.

Percy’s still a guy who goes with his gut first and foremost.

Percy’s still willing to sacrifice the future for the present, if the present means saving the people he loves.

Percy still makes wise-cracks at wildly inappropriate times.

And I think some of the show is really well written. Some of it. Two parts in particular stand out. The first is when Annabeth and Percy have the post-killing Medusa conversation, and they have that, “she tried to get me to betray you. What did you say? I killed her sister. What did you say? I cut off her head.” exchange. That’s great. The point of that conversation is “you can trust me because no matter how I might be tempted, this is the line I won’t cross.” But they don’t come out and say that. They have the characters say it without saying it, if that makes sense.

The second bit of good writing that comes into my brain was Luke’s conversation with Percy about being small and scary. It was such a good way to introduce the important concept of why gods need demigods/why gods fear demigods, while also lore-dropping things like “Annabeth is afraid of spiders” and “this fantasy world does have rules.” And on top of those boxes getting checked, you can also see the conversation from Luke’s point of view—he’s bitter about being thought of as a small thing to the gods, but now he’s starting to embrace the scariness part.

So some moments are good, writing-wise. Especially if you tilt your head and say “this is an alternate universe.” I just think they’re not always the right moments for Percy Jackson.

[all-risejd]

A New Judgement Chapter 14: Kink Chart and a Finn Date (Poly Judgment Day Fic)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.  Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9. Part 10. Part 11. Part 12. Part 12.5. Part 13.

Nessa follows Rhea out of the kitchen, a plate in each of their hands, Finn following behind, already eating off of his plate. Nessa hands Damian his plate and proceeds to sit on his lap to start eating. Rhea hands Dom his plate and sits down next to him allowing him to throw his legs over her lap, Finn sitting between Damian and Rhea.

“So Luv, what do you say we go out today, just you and me, to get to know each other better and have some fun?” Finn asks between bites of his eggs. 

Nessa thinks for a moment before answering, “Yeah, I would love to, I just need to shower…” Nessa trails off blushing and Damian chuckles and kisses the top of her head, that is the Nessa he has come to know.

“Yeah of course, wear something you find comfortable and some sensible shoes. We will be doing a lot of walking…” Finn smiles at her and she smiles back.

“Oh, are you taking her to Legoland?” Dominik asks excitedly, he had fun the last time they went and knows Nessa will love it.

“That is for her to find out and you to butt out.” Finn answers back.

“Oh I have been wanting to go, I've never been.” Nessa adjusts on Damian’s lap to look at Finn who smiles at her.

“You’ll see Luv now eat so you can shower and get ready. It’s my turn to go on a date with you. You ate dinner with Rhea alone, Damo took you to dinner, and you have a history with Dom. We will be back by dinnertime and can train after dinner, just because we have time off doesn’t mean we get to slack off.” Finn sets his empty plate down and waits patiently for the rest of them to finish eating.

Before long Nessa finds herself in the passenger seat of the car bouncing her leg up and down rapidly. Finn glances over at her and places a hand on her leg to stop it bouncing. “Why are you nervous, Luv, this is no different than when we were locked in a room for hours on end building the lego kits.” Finn explains, assuming what Nessa was feeling was nerves.

“It's not really nerves, yeah there are some, but I’m more so excited because we have fun doing those, I have fun spending time with you.” Nessa rests her hand on his,

“I don’t want you to feel forced to try and have a relationship with me because the others want to, I understand you are demisexual and you might not ever get those feelings for me.” Nessa continues and gives Finn's hand a little squeeze for emphasis. Finn’s head whips to the side to look at her for a moment before turning it back to watch the road.

“Christ above, macushla. These past few weeks you have been nothing but considerate to all of us, sometimes to the detriment of yourself. You learned our diets quickly, and made us food specific to our diet plans and made an effort to get to know us as individuals, not just as a group. You are well on your way to building a relationship with me…” Finn shakes his head, amazed at the switch he sees in the girl beside him. Nessa tilts her head down, trying to use her hair to hide her blush.

“Don’t go hiding that pretty face from me Luv,” Finn takes his hand out from under Nessa’s and she looks up seeing the Legoland sign and her face lights up. Finn glances over as he parks and smiles seeing the joy on her face. She opens the car door as Finn gets out and walks around holding it open for her.

“See that is a compromise we can all live with,” Nessa jokes and kisses Finn’s cheek before he shuts the door. Finn holds out his hand for her to grab which she does and together they walk into the park. Nessa giggles and drags Finn along from attraction to attraction not going to any of the rides yet. Finn takes turns dragging her about to his favorite attractions and gets her on some of the rides. They feel comfortable alone together, no need for constant questions, or the getting to know each other questions. Just getting to know each other by quality time, their personalities complimenting each other. 

Nessa and Finn decide it is almost time to go so they go to the gift shop. He lets go of her hand to let her wander around looking at everything in amazement. He smiles to himself wondering how Dom could just leave such a ball of sunshine and love. She radiates happiness and excitement and it puts Finn’s chaotic mind at ease. He watches as she goes for a purple legoland branded bookbag and checks the price tag. He snorts at the face she made looking at the price before she put it back on the shelf. He stalks over to where the bookbags are and grabs one and a few other items and sneaks off to the counter to purchase it without Nessa knowing as she was looking through a mountain of keychains muttering to herself which one reminded her of who. 

“Could you bag this in a not see through bag?” He asks the cashier, jerking his head in Nessa’s direction as an explanation. The cashier smiles knowingly and does as asked before handing the bag over. Nessa skips over as Finn grabs the bag from the cashier.

“Oh what did you get?” Nessa asks, trying to peek in the bag after she places a handful of keychains on the counter. Finn moves the bag behind his back. 

“Nothing to worry about, A stór. Would you like me to pay for those?” Finn nods his head towards the counter, giving her the option.

“No sweets but thank you for the offer. I would like to pay for them myself!” Nessa smiles and hands her card to the cashier. Finn bounces on the balls of his feet as they finish the transaction. Nessa turns around and grabs Finn's free hand.

“Why did you buy so many keychains?” Finn asks, laughing as she drags him out of the store, heading towards the park exit.

“Oh, they reminded me of each of you so I got one for each of you.” Nessa stops in the middle of the parking lot and begins to dig around the bag until she grabs the one she picked for FInn and hands it out excitedly.

“Oh Luv you didn’t need to do that, you truly are the sweetest thing.” Finn takes the keychain from her and immediately puts it on his key clip and pulls her to his side placing a kiss on her forehead chuckling at the blush that rises up her neck and face. He guides her back to the car keeping the bag out of her view so she can’t look in there before he is ready to give it to her. He gently guides her towards the car and opens the door for her holding the bag behind his back.

“What is in the bag, sweets?” Nessa asks, gesturing to the bag poorly hidden behind his back. 

“Don’t worry about it Luv, you’ll find out when the time is right.” Finn shakes his head and closes the door and jogs behind the car placing the bag in the trunk before getting in the driver's seat and starting the car, holding her hand for the majority of the drive back to Rhea’s house.

_____________________________________________________________________

Nessa bounces into the house, Finn following close behind her, a smile on both their faces. They enter the living room to see Damian, Dom, and Rhea lounging together on the couch. Nessa hurries over there, throwing herself on top of Rhea’s lap and begins digging in the bag and pulls out the keychain and hands it to Rhea.

“Oh Bunny, you got me something” Rhea gasps, grabbing the keychain and slowly turning it about studying it. “Is it me?” Rhea asks, smiling widely. Nessa smiles as well nodding her head,

“Yeah, I got one for each of you that reminded me of you,” Nessa explains, handing out the remaining two keychains.

“Thank you Mariposa, that is incredibly sweet.” Damian thanks Nessa, smiling softly as he gets up to hook it to his keys, Dom doing the same. Both of them return to their positions on the couch, Rhea still gripping her keychain in her hand. Nessa grabs it from her and sets it on the side table. 

“Thank you corazon,” Dom quietly thanks her, then reaches out and squeezes Nessa’s knee.

“What did you get, babe?” Rhea asks Finn who just came back from the area of the bedrooms. 

He smiles and shrugs, “Just a few things, maybe something for Nes.” He teases and Nessa perks up and tries to get off of Rhea’s lap only for Rhea to hold her down much to Nessa’s dismay. 

Nessa pouts and whines making the group laugh at her. “What did you get me, how did I not notice? Can I have it now?” Nessa reaches both hands out making a grabbing motion and Dominik just laughs remembering when she would do that to him too.

“Give it up Fergs she won’t let it go until you give it up now you said something.” Dominik warns, smiling fondly at Nessa.

“She can wait, patience is a virtue you know.” Finn shakes his head and heads to the kitchen to start cooking and calls out, “Maybe after training, Luv you ok training in the ring with me tonight since you want to do more?” He raises his voice to be heard over the banging of the pots and pans as he starts making dinner.

“Mami can I go help him make dinner please?” Nessa asks, trying to wiggle off of Rhea’s lap only for Rhea to again tighten her arms around Nessa’s waist and rest her head on Nessa’s shoulder.

“No you cooked for us last night, take a break, sit here with us you spent the whole day with Finn.” Rhea pouts.

“Yeah, we missed you Mariposa.” Damian agrees and reaches down, pulling Nessa’s legs across their laps.

“I didn’t hear an answer?” Finn calls out from the kitchen.

Nessa cranes her neck to face the direction of the kitchen and answers, “Yes, please, I want to be ready for anything I need more of the basics though.” Nessa turns her head back to where she was comfortable leaning against Rhea.

“Can we all do that for you Nes?” Dominik asks unsure.

“Yeah I don’t see why not, I asked for more training and here you all are offering so, yeah lets do it. I’m making breakfast tomorrow since you won’t let me help with dinner.” Nessa finishes, attempting to give no room for argument.

Damian opens his mouth to argue but Dominik cuts him off, “It’s no use arguing, she enjoys cooking for us, it's a love language for her. It’s easier to not fight her on it. Plus her cooking is amazing. Her baking is even better…” Dominik closes his eyes and moans remembering his favorite dessert she made for him and with him.

“Oh, what are you remembering Dom Dom?” Rhea asks while reaching up and playing with a strand of Nessa’s hair.

“Nessa makes the most delicious chocolate cake, we used to make it together on my birthday and anniversaries.” Dominik praises and explains.

Nessa avoids eye contact and starts biting her thumbnail, feeling conflicted and guilty. “I am sorry I didn’t answer your calls or texts on your birthday Dom, that wasn’t fair.” Nessa apologizes, the sound distorted because she wouldn’t stop biting her thumbnail.

“No, Nessa that was fair, I didn’t even message you on your birthday last month, I fucked up I know and I am going to do everything I can to make things right,” Dominik promises leaning over and stroking Nessa’s cheek before grabbing her hand so she stops biting her thumb.

“Why don’t you make some for us before we go back?” Rhea asks interested and Damian hums in agreement, pulling Nessa from Rhea’s lap across Dom’s and onto his own lap.

“I uh… that is my grandmother's recipe and making it together was our thing, mine and Dom’s, I don’t think I am quite ready for that. The hurt runs deep.” Nessa answers, hiding her face in Damian's chest and he rubs her back soothingly. Nessa hears Dom’s breath catch and she fills with guilt even more and fights the tears that spring to her eyes. She doesn’t mean to hurt him, but she isn’t ready to share that part of her with him again. He swears he loves her but you don’t just ghost someone you love, she can’t trust that he truly loves her still, if he ever did. Not yet.

“Excuse me, I'm just going to go to the training center early, I’ll eat after.” Dom gently maneuvers Nessa’s legs off his lap, and gets up disappearing down the hallway to the bedrooms.

Dominik moves so fast he doesn’t hear Nessa, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She sniffles and Damian places a gentle hand on her head while the other continues to rub her back.

“Hey, no, don’t apologize for voicing how you feel or what you need. You are both raw and hurting and need to sort through it. I'll go talk to Dom, get him to stay for dinner and we will all go to training as a group.” Rhea states matter of factly, reaching over and squeezing Nessa’s hand. Rhea releases her grip on Nessa’s hand and soon disappears down the hallway as well. 

“Shhhh, hey it’s alright Mariposa. Dom just doesn’t want to mess things up again. He loves you, he never stopped, this morning he was excited you even let him kiss you,” Damian soothes and Nessa shakes her head but doesn’t say anything so Damian continues, “I know you think you hurt him by telling him you aren't ready but he is overthinking it and freaking out, you know how he is. Rhea is going to calm him down. Now Mariposa let me see that beautiful smile that you had a little bit ago.” Damian leans back to look at Nessa’s face, his hand under her chin smiling softly at her, she gives the most pitiful looking smile.

“Now that won’t do, Luv, after we had such a lovely day, what happened?” Finn enters the room setting a plate of food on the table in front of her and sitting down beside her and Damian grabbing one of her hands and looking at Damian questioningly.

“Dom hurt his own feelings.” Damian mouths and Finn nods understanding, Dom has a habit of that when it comes to Nessa apparently. 

“Dom brought up me baking with him, and Dems asked for the cake, but I’m not ready for that. It was our thing and I don’t know if I can share that part of me with him again… yet.” Nessa wipes her nose with her sleeve and continues, “I still love him, I never stopped. How can I be sure he ever loved me? You don't just cut off someone you love like that without warning.”

“Hey, hey, hey, A chroí, he loves you, this we know. He was just a massive idiot and didn’t know how to communicate so he shut down and shut you out. He loves you so much he was crying backstage at Wrestlemania after you left. You are a part of his soul, we all see that and you are quickly becoming a part of ours. So believe us when we say he loves you so deeply he would do anything for you.” Finn’s words calm Nessa down in a way Damian couldn’t. They made sense and she felt even more stupid and guilty. 

“Hey, stop feeling guilty as well. You are healing, you both are and there are bound to be hiccups, you only just agreed to join us last night. He was a wreck for weeks after joining us and he wasn’t fully happy either. The first time we saw that was when you agreed to join the company and was traveling with us.” Finn continues soothing Nessa while glancing over his shoulder to see Dominik and Rhea standing in the doorway to the hallway, a look of realization on Dominik's face telling Finn he was there for the end of that conversation.

_____________________________________________________________

Dom sits on the edge of Rhea’s bed, his head in his hands. He doesn’t look up when he hears someone enter the room. He just takes a shuddering breath when he feels the bed dip next to him and Rhea gently wrapping her arms around him. Dominik turns into the embrace. “Shhhh Dom Dom, you know she doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen again you just have to build that trust back. It’s a big thing for her isn’t it sharing cooking like that?” Rhea asks while trying to reassure Dom.

Slowly, after a few seconds of calming himself down, Dominik nods and softly answers, “Yeah, especially after her ex who wouldn’t let her cook what she wanted, only his stuff and would beat her for even asking to make something else.” 

Rhea clenches her jaw at the mention of the ex who hurt Nessa but continues to focus on Dom who needs comfort. “Dom, you heard her, she still loves you and this morning she let you kiss her. That’s not nothing. You just have to work towards it and that won’t happen if you keep running away.” She states softly while gently playing with Dom’s mullet.

“Running away is what got me in this mess.” Dom almost whispers as he climbs onto Rhea’s lap to feel closer tears still on his cheeks which Rhea gently wipes away before peppering his face with kisses.

“Yes, so the way to fix it is by being present and just talking to her and treating her like normal like she asks. Can you do that for her, for all of us sweet boy” Rhea scratches the back of Dominiks head, feeling him nod in response. “Come on let's go eat dinner with the others, you know Nes is probably blaming herself for hurting you and I think she  deserves some reassurance that wasn’t the case.” Rhea gently pushes Dom off her lap so she can stand up and grabs his hand and exits the bedroom, stopping at the doorway as they hear Nessa talking. 

“Dom brought up me baking with him and Dems asked for the cake but I’m not ready for that. It was our thing and I don’t know if I can share that part of me with him again… yet.” Dominik hears her sniffle and Rhea gives his hand a reassuring squeeze as Nessa continues, “I still love him, I never stopped. How can I be sure he ever loved me? You don't just cut off someone you love like that without warning.” 

“Ay Mi Amada, I love you with every bone in my body, with every breath in my lungs and I know words are not enough. I will spend the rest of eternity proving it to you if I need to." Dom walks around the couch and lets go of Rhea’s hand and kneels in front of Nessa, who is still on Damian's lap. He takes her hand from Finn and gently kisses each of her knuckles like he used to. 

The corner of Nessa’s lips quirk up.

“Ah there she is, now why don’t we eat before the food gets cold and go to the training center yeah?” Damien suggests and kisses Nessa’s forehead and slides her off his lap and onto the cushion next to him and picks up the plate on the table and hands it to Nessa, the rest of them getting up and grabbing their own plates, returning to their seats, Rhea sitting on the arm of the couch, Dom next to her on the first cushion, Finn next to him and Nessa between Finn and Damian.

“Hey Bunny, I think that you and Dom should spend some time alone together, you don’t have to try to work everything out but you should try to learn about each other again with no interference from any of us.” Rhea suggests but it doesn’t feel like a suggestion to the group, the others making various noises of agreement.

______________________________________________________________________

A few hours later they return to the house, the dogs excited yet again for their return and running about their feet as they enter the house. Nessa groans as she stumbles over them, her muscles aching.“Oh come on Luv it wasn’t that bad” Finn rolls his eyes at Nessa’s pout.

“You guys threw me down so many timessss my bruises have bruises…” She whines reaching out for her gym bag which is squarely in Dominik’s hand who moves it behind his back. 

“I got it Princesa, go shower and I’ll get the laundry sorted and started.” Dom suggests doing his best to go back to normal.

“No Dom, it’s fine just give me my bag, I didn’t argue about you carrying it. Now we are home and I’d like to sort my own clothes please.” Nessa puts her hand on her hip and holds out the other hand. Nessa didn’t realize the weight of what she said so she felt victorious when a dumbfounded Dom just hands the bag over to her and they watch as she limps down the hallway disappearing into the bathroom. 

She emerges a half an hour later to see Damian and Finn are already showered and changed, lounging on the couch, Finn's legs across Damian’s lap, some b-rated horror movie on the TV and a noticeable absence of Dominik and Rhea. Damian winks at Nessa who makes the face of realization figuring out what they are probably doing.

“Come here Mariposa,” Damian holds out his arms and Finn removes his feet from Damian’s lap so Nessa can take her seat. She shuffles her feet, thinking about it for a minute before going over and sitting on Damian’s lap, Finn adjusting the way he is sitting to lean on the pair of them. “Rhea and Dom might be a while, they tend to when they shower together.” Damian nips at Nessa’s neck and she squeezes his hand.

“A little too much right now Luis.” Nessa leans her head back against him to cut off access to her neck.

“Ok Mariposa, no problem. Thank you for communicating that.” Damian praises, squeezing his arms around her waist. 

“Does she peg him?” Nessa asks, seemingly out of the blue making both men laugh.

“What makes you ask that Luv?” Fin squeezes out between laughs and Nessa shrugs and begins playing with her hands, Damian placing his large hand atop hers to stop the fidgeting. “He asked me to do it a few times and I was uncomfortable doing it, but I would occasionally, and I figured it was something he wanted, well needed and I couldn’t really give him what he needed.” Nessa explains, her voice wavering with anxiety.

“Yes Mariposa she does, each of us has our own unique needs that others meet. Like I like biting, I really love it actually as you probably figured out and I would like to know how…” Damian jokingly growls in her ear, being mindful that she wants less physical affection at the time.

“I had a feeling Mr. Vampire liked biting, Dems likes to Dom me and Dom Dom, so do you. I’m not sure about Finn.” Nessa answers a little more confidently. 

Finn snorts at the attempt of a question. “That’ll come in due time, A croi.” He teases.

“What does that mean anyway, all the names you have been calling me?” Nessa wiggles trying to get out of Damian’s grip to slide between him and Finn. Damian for once lets her and she looks at him thankfully before glancing at Finn who is debating internally on whether or not to tell her.

“Macushla, means darling, A stór, Means my treasure, and A chroí, means heart.” Finn smiles at Nessa who blushes at the terms of endearment. Her face gets even redder when she realizes they are both wet and there are only two bathrooms, with her using one of them earlier.

“Wait a minute, did you two shower together?!” She asks, looking between the two of them. 

Damian throws his arm over her shoulder and answers. “Yeah, save water and all that it was entirely too quick to do anything truly fun.” He winks at her, flicking Finn’s ear when he rolled his eyes.

“You weren’t saying that when my mouth was wrapped around your cock.” Finn reaches over Nessa to grab at Damian's crotch only for Nessa to push his arms away.

“Children behave.” Nessa jokes and rolls her eyes, surprised at how much she isn’t bothered they did stuff without her, it just feels normal with them. Even more so when Rhea and Dom finally come back into the living room, Dom plopping next to Finn on the couch and Rhea sitting on the floor in front of Nessa.

“Who needs to behave and why?” Rhea asks, leaning her head back on Nessa’s lap and looking up at them.

“Finn was grabbing at Damian by reaching over me teasing each other after they just had fun in the shower without me so I told them to behave.” Nessa shrugs and sticks her tongue out.

“Big words coming from a little.” Rhea teases back, calling out her preferences.

“Oh you’re a little that I can work with.” Damian smiles wickedly and a glint in his eye storing that information for later. Nessa lets out a little squeak at being called out.

“I don’t know how you didn’t figure that out with me calling her princesa and that I Dom her and she is the only one I will.” Dom shakes his head incredulous at how dense his partners are when it comes to their new addition. 

“I figured it out, she didn’t tell me.” Rhea proudly states in a sing-song voice.

“Only because you called me little girl and damn near sent me into subspace.” Nessa grumbles feeling safe and content so she is comfortable talking about this.

“Noted Mariposa,” Damian is careful of his tone, with her openly admitting it is a possibility to slip into subspace with the right words he knows tone can do it as well.

“While we are on the subject of kinks, Bunny, would you be able to do the kink negotiation, we have a chart that has been helpful. I know there were a lot of emotions earlier but I think it is necessary. We can give you access to the chart and you can fill it out on your own so you don’t feel pressured to agree to what we want.” Rhea offers and Dominik nods aggressively in agreement knowing Nessa would do just that to please them. Himself feeling guilty at how uncomfortable she was the few times he asked for a specific act. It’s why he never asked after the second time. 

“I think that would be best.” Nessa agrees quickly, glad she doesn't have to ask for just that. 

“While I pull it up on my phone and send it, will you run your fingers through my hair? It felt so good when you were doing it in the kitchen last night.” Rhea asks and pouts still looking up at Nessa. 

Nessa nods, however Damian smirks and comments, “What hair?” 

Nessa scoffs and rolls her eyes already expecting that, Rhea and Dom calls out “Priest”  annoyed and Finn laughs at the chaos.“The hair on her head you perv!” Nessa elbows his side and he fakes like it hurts.

“You like my perviness.” Damian wiggles his eyebrows like he did when he took her to dinner. 

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t” Nessa turns her nose up and continues to run her fingers through Rhea's hair. Rhea meanwhile had been looking through her phone for the list.

“There, sent Bunny. Fill that out when you feel ready, there is no rush. Until then just be sure to let us know if you don’t want to do something.” Rhea offers and Nessa makes a noise of agreement. 

“Hey Dem's, could you move your head so I can go get my laptop?” Nessa asks, wanting to open the document while they were just lounging around, no pressure going on.

“No I’m comfortable, make one of the boys get it.” Rhea denies scooting back so her head is ever more on Nessa’s lap.

“That can’t be comfortable sweets,” Nessa chides worried about Rhea’s neck potentially hurting.

“It is because you are comfy and smell good.” Rhea compliments and groans as Nessa forces her to support the weight of her head.

“If you keep it like that for too long you’ll be sore, I am going to go get my laptop. I’ll be right back I promise.” Nessa moves to get up but Dominik pops up off of his seat.

“I’ll get it Princesa, just relax there with Mami.” He runs down the hallway and reappears a few minutes later with her laptop and hands it to her. Nessa smiles at him and mouths ‘thank you’.

“You’re welcome, Hermosa.” Dom responds and takes his seat, leaning into Finn's open arms. Nessa stops scratching Rhea's scalp to vocal protestations but Nessa just blows raspberries at her and opens her laptop going to her email and downloading the file before opening it and taking in a deep breath. She started adding her name to the chart and filling it out. She glances around and the men around her are pointedly not looking at her doing this and she smiles in relief and continues, trusting they will continue that way.

Nessa hits saved and sends it back to Rhea and closes the laptop, leaning forward, her breasts resting on Rhea’s head for a moment while she places the laptop on the coffee table. Ignoring Damian loudly complaining about that being unfair. Nessa rolls her eyes and sits back, only to be pulled back onto his lap.

“You say that so often, I wonder what your basis of comparison is?” Nessa quotes one of her favorite movies, Dominik snorting before doubling over in laughter. Nessa wriggles on Damian’s lap and yawns, stretching out her arms making sure to not accidentally hit anyone. “I think I want to go to bed, it is getting late.” Nessa wriggles again and Damian immediately lets her go reading her nonverbal cues. 

“Do you want to sleep with any of us tonight or alone Bunny?” Rhea asks looking up at Nessa who stretches again and winces at her sore muscles. Nessa finishes the stretch and starts to grasp at her hands again. Damian yet again leaning forward and grabbing them so she stops abusing them.

“Yeah, today was… a lot and I just need some time for myself if that is ok?” Nessa asks, not wanting to upset them but feeling overwhelmed by all the physical touch of the day.

“Yeah of course, whatever you need Mariposa, we know today was a lot. You did so well voicing your needs today.” Damian praises and the rest of them chime in in agreement. Nessa tries to turn away to hide her embarrassment but Damian still has a hold of her hands. “Don’t hide from us, Hermosa, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.” Damian tries to soothe Nessa from the small distance between them. He feels her try to tug her hands away, presumably to try and bite her thumbnail. 

“Priest you are doing a little much, she just said today was a lot, then you praise her after finding out she is a little. Let her go so she can have her space before you push her too far. We’ve been trying to help Dom while going too far ourselves…” Rhea admonishes him and swats his hands away from Nessa.

“It’s not too much, I promised I’d tell you if it was and I will!” Nessa jumps to Damian's defense and he smiles smugly and gestures towards her like see.

“That’s enough of that, let the poor thing go to bed. She has had a busy day and she isn’t used to training like us yet and needs her rest.” Finn speaks up, keeping the peace and creating an out for Nessa who is clearly uncomfortable but trying to be strong and force through it.

“Goodnight my sweets,” Nessa calls out blowing a kiss to the group as she makes her way towards the hallway and enters the room they allotted to be hers.

______________________________________________________________________

Nessa tosses and turns, unable to sleep again after the nightmare woke her up. 

She hugs one of the pillows to her chest fighting the tears springing to her eyes and her breath keeps catching in her throat at every little sound and moving shadow afraid he is back even though she knows she is in a safe place. She needs her safe space, she needs Dom, she needs her partners. She shuffles out of the bed still hugging the pillow and makes her way across the hall and gently opens the door to Rhea’s main bedroom and sighs in relief seeing all four of them on the massive bed. She slowly makes her way over to the bed. 

Dominik stirs at the sound of her soft footsteps and picks up his head squinting in her direction.

“I had the dream again.” She admits her voice cracking as she hugs the pillow tighter to herself. Dominik doesn’t say anything, just scoots closer to the edge of the bed to create space between himself and Rhea so she can crawl in between them and she does. She settles quickly and her trembling slows down as Rhea and Dom place gentle kisses to her head and embrace her. Nessa closes her eyes feeling safe again glad she has this to chase away the memories.

[otakusheep15]

Ranking Hazbin Hotel Songs (S1)

I’m seeing people do this on TT, but I don’t like posting on there, so I’m posting my list here instead. Obvious warning, but these are my own personal opinions. I think all of the songs are absolute bangers, but there are some that are better than others, so keep that in mind.

16. Welcome to Heaven

Pretty much the general fandom consensus. It’s not a bad song, and I like Darren Criss as a singer, but it’s too short and doesn’t do a whole lot for the plot.

15. Finale

This might be a pretty hot take, but I’m not that big of a fan of the finale. There are some parts that I like individually, but as a whole song, it doesn’t do it for me. It’s still good though.

14. Hell’s Greatest Dad

I think this one is the one that’s gonna upset a lot of people, but I really don’t vibe with this one. No, it has nothing to do with Mimzy. In fact, I actually like her a lot, but that’s besides the point. I’m not a huge fan of talk singing, and that’s what both of Alestor’s songs are, so they aren’t going to be very high. Not even Jeremy Jordan can save this song.

13. Stayed Gone

Again, I’m just not big on talk singing. I like this one just a bit more because I like Christian Borle’s voice as a talk-singer just a bit more than Jeremy Jordan.

12. More Than Anything (Reprise)

This is a really cute song! I wish we had more Chaggie moments in the show, but I’m glad we got this. It would be much higher, but I don’t like how short it is.

11. It Starts With Sorry

Idk why so many people hate this song. It’s so cute! Charlie’s voice is so good, and I like the lesson Sir Pentious learns. It gives off children’s show song, but in a very good way.

10. Out for Love

Carmilla my beloved! I am obsessed with her. I like how she taught Vaggie in this song. Again, my only real problem with it is how short it is. Idk why they made some of their best songs so short, but I need a longer version.

9. Happy Day in Hell

I am a big fan of introduction songs in musicals, and this is a perfect example of why. It’s a nice way to see Hell, especially through the optimism of someone like Charlie. It’s silly and upbeat, and I like that a lot.

8. Poison

I love this song so much! Blake Roman did such a fantastic job with his performance as Angel. I’m not usually a big fan of this particular type of pop, which is why I have it a bit lower, but I think it fits well with what they were going for in writing this song. It’s absolutely perfect.

7. Whatever it Takes

I need these two to have another duet at some point. Their voices fit so well together. Both of their individual parts are also very solid. All around just a good song.

6. You Didn’t Know

I blast this song at least once a day. My fave part is Lute, and I wish we got more of her singing voice this season. Jessica Vosk is so talented, so I hope we get more in season two. Obviously, Charlie and Emily’s part is also amazing, and I like Sera’s parts as well.

5. Hell is Forever

Ah yes, my favorite Christian rock song. Seriously though, this song is so good. It’s most similar to the actual kind of music I listen to, so of course it’d be pretty high on this list. It’s a good intro to Adam and the angels in general, and it slaps.

4. Respectless

Velvette might actually be one of my favorite characters. She, for sure, has my favorite design of any character, and she might have my favorite female voice as well (tied with Lute). Also, she was so real for what she said to Carmilla. Her voice is just very fun to listen to.

3. More than Anything

Jeremy Jordan is the reason I live and breathe. His voice is literal honey. He and Erika Henningsen harmonizing has brought new meaning into my life. I may not have daddy issues, but I think this song healed them anyway. It’s so cute.

2. Ready for This

I’m a sucker for a good rally song, and this is exactly that. Cannibal Town is also my favorite location of any place we’ve seen, both in Hazbin and Hellava Boss, and I adore Rosie. The cannibals were very funny in this number, and I like that Charlie was able to gain some confidence.

1. Loser, Baby

I’m officially changing my brand to the #1 Huskerdust shipper ever. I’m so obsessed with them. This episode is tied for my favorite with Hello, Rosie! Keith David needs another song immediately, and so does Blake Roman. They sound so good together, and I can’t wait to hear more of them!

[wardenparker]

Down the Rabbit Hole - ch 9

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

When Jack accidentally shoots a civilian on a mission he takes on not only the guilt of the man’s death, but inherits his soulmate as well. To you, it’s a dream job with more perks than you can imagine - but for Jack it’s a nightmarish complication. Even more so when he starts to develop feelings.  

Rating: Mature - but this blog is always 18+! Word Count: 12.3k Warnings: *Blanket warnings - mentions of deceased spouse, a lot of food and alcohol consumption, family recipes, age gap, cursing.* Family being family, brief mention of previous physical abuse/ptsd, playful and sexy flirting Summary: Your family arrives in Louisville and inevitable shenanigans ensue. Notes: Hardcore shout out to my godparents and their kids (my surrogate siblings that I love and adore) for being the inspiration for Sugar’s family. One day I’ll write about the time my godmother and I got day drunk and went traipsing through historical houses for shits and giggles. 

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14 ~ Ch 15 ~ Epilogue

The morning is busy, despite the laziness of waking up in each other’s arms again, and includes a pit stop at Ginger’s lab to have temporary versions of your Curiouser and Curiouser tattoo applied for your family’s benefit and check in with the Statesman doctor. Standard procedure, apparently, for soulmates who have had their ink removed to accommodate their agent spouses. Your family will see the proof that you are soulmates, and Jack can wash away the evidence to go back to work after they leave. In jeans and t-shirts, you and Jack amble down to the Statesman airstrip with the Bronco and your little car to bring everyone back to his house for a few days. His three guest rooms edge out your one, so you had brought over a bag of clothes and personal items this morning to stash in his room. His place seemed enormous after leaving your little cabin, but it’s cozy in a very western cowboy kind of way. When the jet lands, the Silver Pony is right behind it. Jack’s beloved fighter will go back to the hangar, but your focus is entirely on the jet as your family disembarks. The last time you saw most of them was your cousin’s wedding, and that was months ago, so you’re itching to jump forward on the tarmac and hug your sister.

Jack stays back, not because he’s wary of meeting your family, but this is your reunion. You’re aware you can tell them things up to a certain point and he knows that you don’t want your family to know the true extent of your ordeal, but family is going to smother you. It’s their way. “Go on, sugar.” He urges you, grinning when they all shout in unison when they see you.

These are hugging people, every single one of them, and it takes better than ten minutes for the fussing and first round of hugs to die down, but you end up with your niece in your arms and grateful tears in your eyes by the end of it. Your mother, for all her lifetime of journalism, is at least keeping the questions to a minimum for now. Mostly just repetitions of “But you’re okay now?” whenever you remind her that you can’t talk about an ongoing investigation - the ‘easy out’ line that Jack had taught you.

It’s only when your personal hoard finally migrated towards the cars does Jack step forward. “Hey folks, I’m Jack.” He’s going to leave it up to you to introduce him if you want, and he’s not sure if you’ve said anything about him before.

“Ohhh, you’re Jack.” Your little sister smirks, reaching out to shake his hand.

“Kind of expected Tex to be here with you, honey. Not going to lie.” Your father, meddlesome king that he is, is occupied with caring for your nephew otherwise you’d probably smack his shoulder much harder than strictly necessary.

“No, Dad.” You focus on loading their suitcases into your trunk so you don’t murder him with your glare. “Actually, I’m really excited for all of you to meet Jack, but you have to promise not to freak out.” Your eyes glide to your right. “Mom? Promise.”

“I would never act inappropriately with your friends, sweetie,” she promises, fully ignoring the many times she has done so before today.

“Liar, but okay.” An affectionate roll of your eyes is well earned, but you stop loading bags for a second to do introductions properly. “Jack, this is my brother Matt, my sister Eliza, her husband Ed, their kids are Nate and Eleanor. And my parents, Jeff and Sherry.” Taking a deep breath, you can’t help the broad, nearly giddy smile that spreads across your face. “Guys…Jack is my soulmate.”

He can’t say that he was expecting the red carpet, but it’s almost funny when your dad’s eyes narrow instantly. “He’s older than you.” Are the first words out of the man’s mouth and honestly, he doesn’t blame him.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” You roll your eyes out of frustration that that is the first reaction from your family on something so important. “Yes, Jack is older than me. And you’re older than Mom. It happens all the time.” Granted their difference is a year not a decade, but it really doesn’t matter to you.

“Sorry.” Your dad shakes his head and shuffles forward, holding out his hand to Jack. “I was expecting her to announce that Tex was her soulmate and they had just kept it under wraps at the wedding to not steal the spotlight.” That stings, especially because he was supposed to go to that wedding, but he shakes the man’s hand firmly. “Sorry about that. But I assure you that your daughter is in good hands.”

“Actually, Tex only came with me as a stand-in. He’s a good friend.” You can see Jack flinch slightly and you don’t like it, feeling the way your heart clenches at any sign of discomfort from him. “Jack got caught up with work.” That clench becomes a swell, and your chest puffs up a little with pride. You can’t tell them what Jack really does for work, but his other title is just as impressive. “He’s the CEO of Statesman, so he stays busy.”

That seems to resonate with the family, making Jack the recipient of several reappraising looks. “So that’s why we get flown down on the corporate jet?” Your mom asks and Jack shakes his head.

“No ma’am. That’ll be Champ's decision. I might be CEO, but I answer to him.” He jokes before he takes your hand. “At Statesman, we take the welfare of our soulmates and their families very seriously. We like to think of ourselves as our own little family and that now includes you folks.”

“You’ll see how seriously they take the ‘family’ thing when you see where we all live,” you tell them honestly, shifting your niece carefully in the arm that wasn’t loading suitcases. “We have all the stuff for grilled cheeses and the carrot soup that the kids love back at Jack’s house.”

“Jack’s house?” Your mother cocks her head at your wording. “You aren’t living together already?” She knows how you feel about soulmates so it is surprising to her.

“No, but he has more guest rooms and he offered. This way we can all stay in one place together and no one has a hotel bill.”

“Purely practical. Got it.” Teases your sister, who is the only one who has heard the entire saga of back-and-forth with Jack.

“If you all want to get loaded up.” Jack offers. “We’ll get you back to the house and the makeshift family reunion can start in a jiffy.”

Getting everyone back to the house takes a little finagling but it works, and your brother rides with your parents and Jack in the Bronco to make sure they behave. The kids are fussy when you get to the house but your sister sets them up to nap with the monitor on once everyone’s bags are upstairs and - as is the custom with your family - everyone congregates in the kitchen without discussion. In fact, the biggest discussion right now is what to do with the kids while everyone is here. Touristy things like Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby Museum, the Louisville Zoo, and the amusement park Kentucky Kingdom are all on the list, according to your mother. “We’ll drive out to Dollywood sometime without the kids,” she tells you, glancing at your father with a grin. He’s a legendary Dolly Parton fan but the little ones would never survive the drive without totally melting down.

“If that’s something you want to do….” Jack hums. “We can always drop the kids into the Statesman day care. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. Or I can stay back and watch them.”

“You guys can always add a few days to your vacation,” you offer, already bustling around the kitchen to get everyone something to drink before you start making lunch. “The jet is already reserved to take everybody else home on Saturday morning, instead of going home you can hop a commercial flight to Tennessee and check out Dollywood. If dad likes it, we’ll make it the next family vacation?”

Jack listens to the conversation, trying to get a feel for your family and he doesn’t miss the way that they are looking at him, judging him. It’s been a long time since he’s had to worry about what people think of him.

The rolls you all fill get to be obvious after a while - your excitable mother and nosy father, generally troublemaking sister and her easy-going husband, punctuated by your brother who likes to poke and make trouble sometimes or play the peacemaker at others, depending on when the mood strikes him. At the moment he is being good, just watching your brand-new soulmate to see how he deals with your parents. Right now it's a roundabout while your father pretends he isn't dying to go to Dollywood under literally any circumstances and everyone else provides him with various ways to make it happen, until he finally grins at all of you and takes a sip of his sweet tea. "Your mom and I will go for a few days this weekend," he agrees, looking around at the group of his three kids with two of their soulmates and feeling a little like the king of the castle. "I'm sure we'll love it, and we can all go back again together." He raises an eyebrow at you. "You're still gonna be able to get away for family vacation this year, right kiddo?"

"As long as you don't schedule it for the week my restaurant opens, of course I will." It's not something they would ever do, but you can't help getting excited about the opening with it being so close.

Jack leans against the counter. “It’s gonna be a big affair and we’ll have the jet standing by again to bring everyone down.” He tells them, wanting them to know that it’s going to be taken care of. “You’re doing it that Saturday or Sunday, sugar?” He asks, looking back at you.

"It's Saturday." There's no reason to hide that you love the little pet name, and you practically beam at him. "Sunday will be special because it's the first day we're doing brunch." The Sunday brunch menu was Diana's brain child originally, when you made eggs benedict for the two of you one day in the kitchen. "Just three more weeks." Your brother hovers a little, still feeling guilty for losing track of you when you came to visit him, as if the Rollins brothers wouldn't have just grabbed him, too.

Jack nods. “Some of the best damn food to be had will be available at the Statesman tea room.” He sends you a small wink. “And the sweetest desserts.”

"We heard you fell for the coconut cake just like her granddad did." Your mother grins. "There's no way around it. That cake is the best thing in the world."

“The coconut cake is to die for.” Jack nods in complete agreement, already anticipating when you make that confection again. “But her crawfish salad was what threw in the towel for me.”

“I don’t think you’ve made that for us, sweetie.” Your father eyes you with a pout as you move around the kitchen.

“You don’t like shellfish,” you remind him with a laugh. “It’s the recipe I used to make shrimp salad tea sandwiches for Eliza’s bridal shower with a few little tweaks.”

“Best damn sandwich I’ve ever put in my mouth.” Jack boasts. “This tea room of hers is going to be a success.”

“I’m gonna have to put a padlock on the fridge to keep you from sneaking into the kitchen.” Teasing him has truly turned to being second nature, and it’s gone further than it had during that first tentative week of knowing each other. There’s so much affection there that it warms you through time after time, making you duck your head when you smile at him. “Put up a picture of you in back for my staff to warn them.”

“Wanted: Sandwich Thief.” Jack snorts, shooting you devilish grin, “considered armed and dangerous but can be bribed with a cupcake.”

"You'll fit right in, in this family." From the other side of the table, your brother-in-law laughs. "Food is their love language."

“Be honest, I think it just might be her cookin’.” He jokes, sending you a small wink. “Showed her a pizza place, she didn’t like it at all.” He chuckles, watching your face morph from shock to outrage.

"You wouldn't dare keep Tony's from me." Your jaw is practically on the ground, eyebrows pinched and a pout painting the rest of your features as you freeze in the middle of peeling a carrot. "Not after truffle pizza. I dreamed about that pizza."

His chuckle turns slightly mean, so sinister – though everyone can tell he’s joking. A sound similar to the evil antagonists in every spy movie they put out, and he’s watched them all for the irony. “Then my evil plan worked.”

"So mean, threatening to keep the good pizza away." There's no heat in the way you huff at him, and if you had looked over at the table in that moment you would have seen your brother and sister exchanging amused, knowing expressions.

“Keep it all for myself.” He adds, enjoying the pouty look you’re giving him. “Do you want me to help? Get out the bowls or something?” You’ve already inspected his kitchen and grumbled about needing to bring some of your stuff over if you’re cooking here, but he just assumed that was what every chef did.

"Can I trust you with the grilled cheese?" It's barely a real question, since the man has been feeding himself for decades, but you like the small moments of domesticity that you've been sharing this morning.

“I don’t burn ‘em, if that’s what you’re askin’.” Jack moves over towards you and his hand finds your waist as he moves to your other side. “How do you make your grilled cheese?” He has a feeling it’s a little more involved than two slices of bread, a slice of American cheese and some butter.

“No reason to get complicated today.” Everybody at the table is chatting away merrily about something that happened back home, and you take the second to lean into Jack’s touch a little. “When it’s me, I do apple and bacon and a Muenster cheese. But classic American is a great sandwich to do in bulk.” He’s warm and feels safe beside you, a feeling you’re learning to relish. “This isn’t too crazy for you, is it?” You whisper, worried that on day two of your precarious relationship, he might change his mind after remembering what dealing with another person’s family can be like.

“It’s….a lot.” Jack admits quietly, unused to the large family feeling that had descended on his house. But it’s not an unwelcome one. “But it’s okay, sugar. I grew up in boisterous bunkhouses on the ranch when I was old enough to be there. Which was as long as I could sit on a horse.”

“If it gets to be too much just say the word and I’ll ferry them out to whatever tourist spot they want to see. Or I’ll bring them back to my place. Whatever you need, okay? This is…it’s new.” You sigh gently, leaning into him a little more. “I don’t want to scare you off before we even get started.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Jack uses your willingness to lean against him to curl around you. “I’m tired of runnin’ from you, sugar. I’m too damn old to be actin’ like a young buck anymore. You’re my soulmate.”

“Can’t say I’m ever gonna get tired of hearing you say it.” You hum softly, turning your head to press your lips to his cheek.

The warmth that spreads through his whole body at the simple gesture would have made him run for the hills a week ago. Now he just makes a small sound of appreciation and squeezes your hip again before he slides over to start making sandwiches for everyone.

“So this is new.” When Jack moves to one side, your brother appears between you with an unreadable expression that only hints at curiosity. “When she showed up at my place Friday night she was definitely not glowing like this.” In fact, you had been miserable and in tears, so the change has him about ready to offer to be Jack’s best man someday.

“That’s my fault.” Jack isn’t going to shy away from his mistakes, not when they have affected you so deeply. He owns who he is to the marrow of his bones. “I couldn’t get my head out of my ass long enough to realize I was scared.”

“I know she’s a pain in the ass,” Matt smirks at you and you glower in response. “But she’s not that bad once you get used to her.”

Jack chuckles when you turn around and throw a piece of carrot at your brother and stick your tongue out at him. “Mature.” He teases as he lays out the bread for the other half of the lunch.

“Middle child.” Matt tells Jack, as though that explains every ounce of your behavior. “Anyway…whatever this is…she looks happy. And she’s got her sense of humor back. So keep doing what you’re doing.”

It says something that just acknowledging the fact that you are soulmates makes you happy. Jack nods, and levels a genuine look at your brother. “Your sister's health and happiness are my top priorities.” He promises seriously.

"Glad to hear it." He may give you both shit, but Matt takes his role as older brother to two younger sisters very seriously. If your little sister hadn't met her soulmate-now-husband in high school, there would have been a lot more intimidating of boyfriends. "Like I said, she's a pain in the ass. But she's our pain in the ass."

Jack chuckles quietly, noticing how you look like you want to die, melt into the hardwoods to never be seen again. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He nods towards your brother and the unspoken agreement is arranged. The one that speaks to if Jack hurts you - again - he will sit and take the ass whooping he deserves.

"Jack, honey." Your mother looks over as your brother moves away and smiles. "Will you tell us a little about yourself?" It's an innocent effort to get the ball rolling, but she's trying to do it gently. Any little tidbits to get to know her daughter's soulmate better.

Nodding, Jack decides that it’s best that he puts his hands to use while he answers that loaded question. “Well, ma’am, I was born and raised on a ranch. Decided it wasn’t the life I wanted anymore when I – lost my first soulmate. I went into the military and then when I was done with that, I joined Statesman.”

"Military?" That makes your mother tilt her head in interest. "What branch? My father was a Navy man."

“Air Force.” Jack gives a small shrug. “I have a love of planes, but didn’t get to fly ‘em when I was in because of not being an officer.”

“It’s never too late to get your pilot’s license,” your sister volunteers, her cheery optimism on display as always. If you and Jack are finally giving things a try - which it seems you are - then she wants him to be happy, too.

"I fly now." Jack assures her, giving a peacock proud grin. "That plane that was being pulled into the hangar after you landed is mine. Brought back from New York."

“You were in New York?” Your mother asks, clearly asking why without saying it.

“Jack came to bring me home.” You turn around at the counter, one hand pausing in stirring the soup on the stove. “He’s been taking care of me since everything happened.”

"And he flew a…fighter plane there…" The obvious questions are there, bubbling under her tone as if there is a piece to the puzzle that your mother can't see but wants to find out. It makes Jack grateful for the fake tattoos that are on your bodies in case someone wants to see.

"Quickest way to get there." Jack says breezily, like it was standard operating procedure to fly it. "I'm sure you understand the need to get to your soulmate when something happens."

“You almost got arrested for reckless driving the day Dad broke his leg,” you remind your mother with a raised eyebrow. “And he was already at the hospital. I’m just glad Jack had a way to get to me that wasn’t an eleven hour car ride.”

Your mom nods her head in agreement, but he can see that she knows that there is more to the story than what you’re telling. “I don’t know if I woulda survived an eleven hour trip.” He tells her.

“Hell, I might not have.” The mumble under your breath is only loud enough for Jack, but you offer your family an apologetic expression. “We can’t talk about it,” you remind them. “But I promise you, Jack is taking care of me until I’m allowed to go back to work.”

“It’s not going to affect your opening?” Your dad asks. “I don’t know what happened, but if they aren’t letting you go back to work– that’s just a precaution right?”

“Purely precaution. Champ wants me fully rested and in the best possible shape for the opening, so we’re being overly careful.” Deciding you can leave the soup for a few minutes, you go over to the table to pour a glass of tea for yourself and squeeze your dad’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’m okay, and my team is amazing. The opening is going to be perfect.”

Jack finishes assembling all the sandwiches, sticking to a mixture of cheeses and smearing some of the garlic butter that he had made from your cabin on the outside of the bread. The griddle in the middle of the stove is already waiting, but he waits for you to tell him when to put them on to toast so they can be ready when the soup is.

It’s when Jack is passing by your father at the table with a stack of plates in his arms that your father hrrmphs, and you turn around at the stove to frown. “What?” You ask, knowing that sound all too well.

“He has it.” Your father huffs, pointing at Jack’s arm.

“Yeah, Dad. We’re soulmates. I told you that.”

“Sure,” your father crosses his arms. “But he also said he had a first soulmate, and second soulmates only exist in fairy tales.”

"I thought so too." Jack admits easily. "It's– that's one of the reasons why I was–" Jack stops and turns to look towards you. "I denied it. I didn't want it because I didn't think it was possible. But it is, and we are soulmates - whether or not I wanted it or thought it was possible."

“How do you feel about it now?” Your mother asks, obviously actually asking how he feels about you, and eyeing you seriously when you try to stop her from finishing her sentence.

“I would die for your daughter.” Jack tells your mother honestly. “Her health, her happiness, are the most important things in the world to me.”

“I think we can stop the interrogations on that note, don’t you?” The question may be for your mother, but it’s Jack that you put your arms around and murmur “I love you” in his ear. It’s enough that he’s not fighting it anymore. Enough that he’s willing to face the fear inherent in loving deeply for a second time. You don’t want this entire visit to be an interview.

“It’s okay.” Jack assures you, just as quietly. He had expected this type of interrogation, especially because of his actions and you fleeing to New York in the face of your last argument.

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” You whisper back, leaving a brushed kiss on his cheek before stepping away to grab the stick blender and purée the soup. “Everybody having grilled cheese?” The bright question for the group is meant to change the subject and distract. Everyone, especially you.

Your brother-in-law snickers, obviously onto your meaning and he nods. “I want one of course, but I’m gonna go check on the kids.” He stands up and sends Jack a nod of encouragement. “Be right back.”

Thankfully the air clears while you and Jack finish cooking lunch, and by the time everything is on the table the kids are up from their nap and wanting to talk about the horsies that Mommy and Daddy promised they could go see – meaning you will absolutely be taking a trip to Churchill Downs tomorrow come hell or high water.

“Don’t understand how you can make carrot soup taste good.” Jack groans as he spoons up another bite and rolls his eyes at the taste.

“She’s magic.” Your sister points her spoon at you in between mouthfuls. “I swear I gained so much weight while she was in culinary school. Everything she makes is amazing.”

Jack sends you a proud wink, nodding. “I can just imagine.” He tears off a bite of his sandwich to dunk it into the soup to meld the flavors together.

Normally ready to dive face first into a bowl of your carrot soup, your nephew is completely demolishing his half of the grilled cheese that your sister put in front of him, practically cackling about how much he likes it. “It tastes like garlic bread!” He gasps excitedly, as though the rest of you aren’t eating the very same thing.

Jack chuckles and nods. “I always like garlic bread best, how about you, buddy?” He asks your nephew with interest.

"Daddy says I can't ever be a vampire." The little boy declares, chest puffed up proudly as he rips off another bite of his sandwich.

That is definitely the comment made to a person that loves garlic. “That’s good.” Jack raises his brows seriously. “I’ve heard that being a vampire is no fun. No beach days.”

This seems to make the little boy pause, and think about the consequences of vampirism incredibly seriously. "That's good," he says, imitating Jack's tone the way only a child can. "I like the beach. Being a vampire does not sound fun."

All of the adults laugh and nod in agreement as the sounds of eating give way to amusement. Jack winks at the younger man. "You'd rather be a cowboy." He tells the boy seriously. "We eat garlic bread all the time."

"Cowboys ride horses." At nearly four years old, Nate's love of horses is already so well established that it has rubbed off on his baby sister - who squeals and giggles and babbles with delight whenever there is anything on the tv at home that features the large animals. "Horses are super cool."

"Horses are cool." Jack shoots a glance at your sister and brother-in-law. "There are horses here." He offers, the southern edge of the property behind the distillery is lined up with the neighbor's horse farm. The horses love to come hang out by the fence line and scarf down scraps the visitors bring them. "I'm sure that if you are really good and listen to your parents, they might let you visit the horses, feed them some apples?"

Nate's little eyes go round as saucers, immediately turning to his parents with desperate pleading painted across every inch of his face. "I'll be the best boy!" He promises, clasping his hands over his heart in the most dramatic fashion possible. "I promise, I promise!"

Jack knows that he might have put your sister and her husband on the spot, but it could also be something that the kids enjoy. The tours end around five but the horses are going to be waiting around because a lot of the staff also enjoy feeding them. The neighbor didn't mind. Hell, his feed costs dropped after people started feeding the horses.

"There are horses on the property?" Your sister asks, looking to Jack with curiosity. "Like as a gimmick or something?"

“Nah.” Jack shakes his head. “At the property line. Neighboring property is a horse farm.” He explains. “The horses love to come to the fence line and beg the tourists for the fruit.”

"And the owner is okay with that?" She glances back at her son and over at your parents, collecting reactions when Jack nods.

"Why don't we take a distillery tour this afternoon?" You suggest, thinking this might be the perfect middle ground for a family afternoon activity. "We can enjoy some samples in the saloon after and then go bring the horses some snacks?"

"That sounds good to me." Jack agrees. "I can make sure you get the extra special tour." He chuckles. "More samples and no other tour groups with us."

"Perks of knowing the CEO." Your father chuckles, raising his tea in salute. "Sounds like a plan, kids."

This is going to work. The nerves that had bounced around in his belly start to settle and Jack leans back, smirking at you as you murmur to your sister quietly. Obviously talking about things that only sisters do - or when a group of friends get together. He doesn't mind this at all.

Under the table, your hand finds Jack's thigh and squeezes gently, the quiet signal of support and happiness speaking loud and clear in the moment. You're going to make this trip a good one.

******

It’s a few hours before the tour happens. The younger kids are easily entertained at the pond in the small park nearby after the adults get everything unpacked in their guest rooms, and ultimately the large group is ready to explore the sprawling Statesman campus. Jack smirks as they start all talking at once as you field questions.

“Okay, you guys have to chill.” You’re laughing despite the admonishment, poking your sister in the arm playfully and waggling another finger at your curious father. “I asked Diana to do this tour for you herself and she’s the best, but she’s also my very closest friend down here, so you have to be nice.”

“Smart business.” Your mother teases, winking at you. “Always make friends with the boss’s wife.”

“It wasn’t sneaky or anything, she’s just really cool.” If anything, you get special treatment for being Jack’s soulmate - like your entire restaurant, for example.

“Then I think I will like this woman.” She decides, wanting to learn about your life here. Especially because your soulmate is now here. She hasn’t missed the way that Jack hovers over you and she approves of it.

“Who are we likin’, sweet darlin?” Diana has the uncanny ability to seemingly appear out of nowhere, but this time it’s completely reasonable as she strolls out the front doors of Statesman’s main offices with Champ in tow to throw her arms around you. She’d been to see you while you were healing in Ginger’s lab and Jack has filled her in on the details of the mission that he could manage to speak about.

“You, love!” You return her embrace eagerly, glad to see smiles on the faces of people you love again. “Thank you so much for doing this, Di.”

“No problem at all!” She waves away your thanks and tuts. “Your family is our family.” She promises before she turns towards the group and puts on her friendliest smile to introduce herself to your family.

“You may regret that,” your father jokes, knowing that all of his children like to bust him about being a handful.

"When you deal with the egos I do, anyone is easy to handle." Diana jokes, throwing a wink back at her husband as she ushers him forward. "This is my husband, Champ." She introduces him. "Technically Jack and your daughter's boss."

“Technically both, but only one of ‘em listens.” Champ chuckles, shaking your father’s hand and accepting a hug from your mother. “Jack’s stubborner than a mule in March muck.”

"Now Champ, I wouldn't be your best employee if I just marched to your tune and you know it." Jack shoots back, hooking his thumbs in his belt loops and grinning at the older man.

Narrowing in on the way Jack says employee instead of agent, Champ shakes his head and chuckles before looking back at your siblings. "Don't ever hire your best friend, y'all. They'll drive you up a mountain, and worst of all they'll be so good for business that you can't fire 'em."

Everyone chuckles and Jack slides his arm around you. It's been a few hours and he wants to make sure you aren't too tired. He knows that even though Ginger's technically healed you better than new, he still sees you broken and unconscious when he closes his eyes. "You doin' okay, sugar?" He murmurs in your ear.

"I'm okay." You're a little tired, but all things considered it's a miracle that you feel as good as you do. Grateful just to be on your feet, you lean into Jack's side and smile encouragingly.

"Good." He hums softly. "If you feel tired, you slip away and I will make sure that your family is all tipsy by the time we walk back into the house."

"If I'm tired I'll find some coffee." You promise him quietly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'm not leaving you alone with this group."

He appreciates that you aren't ready to throw him to the wolves, but as the two of you walk behind them, he lets you lean against him as you stroll. Enjoying the way that you are trusting him.

Diana knows every brick and every blade of grass on this campus, and she’ll tell their stories without reservation. You stay snuggled into Jack’s side as Diana regales your family with stories as the whole group of you slowly make your way through the maze of buildings.

"I bet they are all eager to see your restaurant and the tasting rooms." Jack jokes as he leans into you.

“They’re eager to eat and drink,” you joke back, wishing you felt normal enough to be in that kitchen working with your staff. “Not that I can blame them. A cup of coffee sounds heavenly right now.”

"I don't know how you could be tired." He chuckles quietly. "You managed to sleep most of the day and all night long."

“If you’re gonna tease me about it, I won’t cuddle you tonight.” Wrinkling your nose and forehead at him as determinedly as possible just makes you look silly, but it’s not exactly a serious threat in the first place. Waking up with Jack has been amazing, and you’d hate to give up that privilege.

“Hmmmmm, that sounds like a threat.” Jack hums, smirking at you. “Does that mean I need to tie you to the bed?” The words come out playfully before he realizes you might not appreciate that considering you had been tied to a damn chair and tortured. His face falls and he tightens his hold on you. “Shit– I’m sorry, sugar.”

“It’s okay.” You turn into him completely, hanging on to him tightly as your family follows Diana down the path and you and Jack hang back together for a moment. “It’s okay…you meant…you were teasing. And I love that you tease. But maybe…” It makes you shiver a little, the memories like flashes of a movie in your mind. “Maybe no bondage stuff. For at least a little while.”

“Doesn’t have to ever be a thing if you don’t want, sugar.” He promises you. “I know that it can be tough to get over it. I just didn’t think.” He rubs his hand up and down your back soothingly.

“I used to like it.” But now the specter of what happened hangs over something that used to be pleasurable, and you wonder how many other things might have been accidentally ruined by the Rollins brothers. “I honestly don’t know about it now, though. We’ll have to wait and see, I guess.”

“Therapy.” Jack murmurs quietly, pressing his lips to your forehead. And he knows that if it’s something you never want to do again, he would be okay with that. Your comfort was more important than a kink.

“We should see when the doctor is available.” You tilt your head back to silently ask for a kiss, appreciating the comfort of having him close. He hasn’t left your side except to be in the next room since he brought you back to Kentucky and you’re so grateful.

It’s an easy press of his lips to yours. Keeping it gentle and soft. Still, he keeps his arms around you and breathes you in. “Anytime you want sugar.” He promises. “You want to wait until they have gone home?”

“You still planning on holding out on me like a responsible adult who wants to have open channels of communication before we’re intimate?” The eyebrow you raise at him, even while you’re murmuring quietly, is fully teasing. He’s right to want to make sure you’re talking through things before you start sleeping together. Even if you are already sleeping together in the literal sense.

“Believe me, sugar.” Jack groans quietly, kissing your ear. “I’d rather have had your tight little walls around me instead of my fist in the shower this morning.”

“As-soon-as-possible.” Mumbled together like one long word, your forehead drops to Jack’s shoulder to avoid groaning out loud. “We’re starting therapy as soon as possible.”

He chuckles, the only response he can have in a situation like this. “Of course, sugar. Whenever you want.”

“Oh god.” Your sister’s voice breaks the spell, jostling you and Jack out of your cozy moment. “You’re really in the gross lovey-dovey beginnings stages still, aren’t you?” Like you and Jack teasing each other, she doesn’t mean a word. She’s grinning the whole time and practically giggling behind her dramatic pout. “Come on, Diana says it’s time for tasting and you know nothing is going to keep Dad and Matt away from all that whiskey for long.”

Jack snorts and taps your lip when you start pouting. “We can kiss later, sugar. Right now, let’s go get drunk with your family.”

“Gross.” Eliza snorts, pinching your arm before turning back to trot up the block to promptly kiss her husband and take the baby back from him. The picture of domestic bliss teasing you about having feelings is laughable and both of you know it. “Fiiiiine,” you sigh dramatically to Jack and take his hand instead. “But I’m gonna hold you to that. Save that kiss for later.”

“I have a lot of kisses stored up.” Jack waggles his brows. “Depends on where you want them.”

“Everywhere.” Fingers threading together, you tighten your hand in his. “Absolutely everywhere. Please and thank you.”

“Think my tongue would be a good replacement for my fingers?” He teases. “With your parents in the house?” He gives you a shocked look but his smirk is smug.

“I will make literally anything you want for breakfast tomorrow.” Whatever he wants, because you know that what you want is him.

Jack chuckles and arches a brow at you playfully. “Anything?”

“Anything.” At first you were just playfully bargaining, but now you’re intrigued.

Jack senses that you see it as a challenge and he grins. “Okay, how about aebleskiver?” He asks.

Starting to walk along the path, you raise one very impressed eyebrow at Jack and hum in thought. “Do you have an aebleskiver pan somewhere in that mansion of a house?”

“Maybe?” That Jack doesn’t know but he’s collected a lot of shit from missions over the years.

“If you do, then you’re on.” Loving the fact that he’s willing to be playful, you press a kiss to his cheek and follow your family inside the building at the end of the walkway to the distillery’s tasting rooms.

The taste testing is a supreme success. With Champ there, the normal bottles that are available are quickly shoved aside for some of the more precious liquors Statesman offers. “Show off.” Jack huffs under his breath as Champ produces a bottle of ‘61 double barreled blend.

“Just wantin’ to make sure these fine folks have a good time.” Champ leans back against the bar to survey the room as you and your family enjoy the tasting. He isn’t blind to the fact that you’ve barely had a sip from your early glasses so that you could take the baby from your sister, or that your nephew’s apparent love for popcorn is currently being satiated by his own wife and one of the bartenders who provides snacks in this particular room. Diana is taking delight in sharing a basket of the salty snack with her new little friend. “She seems to be doin’ okay,” he murmurs, not nodding to you because he knows Jack hasn’t taken his eyes off you.

“Stronger than half our agents.” Jack muses, not for the first time. “Damnest thing I’ve ever seen, Champ.”

“Think I should get her to swap jobs?” Champ chuckles softly, not meaning a word of it. He had read the complete report that Jack typed up while sitting beside your pod, as well as Rye’s report and Ginger’s updates on your health. Admittedly he was pretty impressed, but he would never expect Jack to be okay with making you even a junior agent.

“Only if you want to put me in an early grave.” Jack huffs, fully aware of how hypocritical it sounds but he couldn’t take you putting yourself in danger. Hell, he doesn’t want you near a mandoline if there’s the possibility of you getting hurt, though you would fight him on that. “I just hope it’s not a front and she cracks.” Jack admits.

“You’ll keep an eye on her.” He knows Jack well enough to know that he won’t rest for a second if he thinks you might not actually be okay. “Since y’all are getting along so much better now.”

Jack cuts his eyes over to Champ. “Plannin’ on sayin’ ‘told you so’?” He huffs, fully aware of the smirk hidden under Champ’s bushy mustache.

“Do I need to?” He will, of course, at some point when it’s amusing to all present. Today he’s just glad to see you up and laughing with that smile you beam at Jack every now and then.

"No." He rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath even as he shuffles slightly. He knows now that Champ had been right but damned if he just wants to concede right now.

“I’ll save it for my best man's speech at the wedding.” Champ chuckles, looping his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans.

Jack blows out another huff, wanting to comment that maybe you wouldn’t want to get married but Champ knows that isn’t true. You are the type to want a marriage and whatever else comes with a soulmate.

“Cat got your tongue, Jack?” The chuckle turns to a puckish giggle and Champ claps his best friend on the shoulder. “I’m just happy for ya, is all. You know that.”

“I know.” Above all else, he knows that Champ is in his corner.

“You gonna come back to work soon?” Now that you’re safe and mark-free, Jack is technically free to do that. Champ just wonders if his friend is up to letting you out of his sight.

“At least not until after her grand opening.” Jack frowns as he watches you laugh with your brother and sister, taking another sip of the whiskey you are tasting and debating the different notes they are tasting with them. “You know how it is when you are out in the field. I don’t want to put that on her with her opening so soon.”

“God forbid you get wrapped up in something and miss it.” Champ nods solemnly, knowing it would devastate you if that happened. He’s had enough conversations with his wife to understand how much you care about Jack. He clears his throat though, quietly, wondering how Jack will react to a bit of news. “That kid Kingsman sent us - Yvain? He’s headin’ back to London. Adjustment just didn’t happen, so they’re sendin’ somebody new over.”

Jack frowns, brows knitting together. “They sending the kid back?” He asks, wondering how you would take it now if Tex shows back up. His jaw still aches sometimes but damned if he would ever let him know it. It had been well deserved.

"Yep." The older man doesn't shift, just watches Jack carefully as they talk, with the casual air of someone discussing a shopping list. "With the new Kingsman agent. We're gonna send Bobby over. He's chompin' at the bit to flex his muscles and he's done well overseas." While he isn't thrilled to be sending his only child to a different continent for work, Champ knows that Bobby's future means more than his own comfort does. His boy is bright and clever and deserves the chance to grow.

Jack’s frown deepens slightly, born of his own mistakes and insecurities, but that can’t be helped. The only one who is to blame for Tex having intimate knowledge of you is him. It’s not at all arrogant to believe that if Jack hadn’t played fast and loose with your emotions that you wouldn’t have given the boy a second look. “They’re sendin’ two back?” That surprises him, knowing they are light in manpower. “But Bobby’ll do fine. He’s a good agent. Real good.”

"We're sendin' Yvain and Bobby back, they're sendin' Tex and this gal Isolde." The code names of the Kingsman agents give his lazy Southern tongue a little trouble, but he likes the girl well enough. "Had a call with her this morning. I think she'll fit right in."

“Haven’t seen many that will fit in.” Jack grumbles, still slightly peeved by Galahad shooting him in the fuckin’ head.

"Think you might be glad of this one," Champ shuffles slightly to face Jack. "Seein' as she's the kid's soulmate and all."

A riot of emotions rides over his face as he absorbs the news that Tequila has found his soulmate. Relief being the primary one, hoping that with that discovery, his little crush on Jack's soulmate would settle down. "How did they find that out?" He asks, trying to seem like he is completely casual and not having a mini celebration inside.

"Photos." There's a twist on Champ's lips as he sees Jack's shoulders tense then deliberately relax like he's forcing himself not to have a reaction. "That scar left from his broken arm, back during the rodeo days? He saw it in some old photos of her." Obviously when Tequila had reached agent status the mark had been eliminated from his skin and therefore from hers, as well. In the years since, the boy had nearly forgotten it ever existed. "Accordin' to Eggsy, they're a hell of a team."

“Well that could mean anything.” Jack grumbles. Wondering what this soulmate of his looks like and if he’s good for the kid. Despite his own issues with Tequila honing in on you, he still cared about him.

"We'll find out this weekend." Chuckling over the fact that Jack's protective instincts never waver, Champ shrugs his shoulders and claps him on the shoulder again. "Bobby's goin' away party is Saturday. He'd hate for his Uncle Jack to miss it. Ya hear?"

“Of course.” Jack nods immediately, smirking slightly. “Kid will be disappointed we didn’t get a chance to work together.”

"No way of knowin' what will happen in the future." Better men than them have tried to control it and failed, so Champ is even going to try for a prediction. "For now, though, this is a good choice for him. Let him learn from somebody besides his old man and his uncle. Get a new perspective."

“It’ll be a good thing for the kid.” He chuckles. “Let him get laid without a report goin’ to his old man about it.”

"God help me," Champ huffs, wiping one hand down his face. "I'm hopin' he takes after his mama in that and not you or me."

Jack grins, knowing the boy the is already a lady’s man, even if Champ hasn’t realized it yet. “Hope you don’t take it too hard when you realize he was raised by all of us.”

"Just hopin' he has his mother's brains about it all." Knowing damn well that Bobby Rogers is the same sort of man that he and Jack are, Champ ends up chuckling. "You and I? We talk a big game but we fall head over heels. That woman of mine has such a clear head that I swear she's never even heard of fog."

“She’s smarter than all of us put together, Champ.” Jack jokes. “That ain’t exactly fair.”

"And look at who her best friend is." He's seen other friends come and go from his wife's life over the years. People she could and couldn't be absolutely honest with, people she could or couldn't relate to easily. The only other friend she's ever made so quickly and completely was Ginger. Watching you and Diana laugh and chat together with your family is such a soothing balm over his soul. Champ would give anything to make his wife happy. It was worth it to bring you here for that alone. "She said it's like finally gettin' the little sister she always wanted."

“Oh god.” Jack huffs, rolling his eyes. “That means they are going to gang up on you and in turn that means you gang up on me.”

"Already have." The older man laughs again, shaking his head fondly. While Jack was off being a miserable lump over the last few weeks, Champ had been seeing more and more of you around the house as you and Diana grew closer. "I'm lettin' them hire an event planner to start doin' parties and weddings. Technically it's all part of Diana's domain, but your gal will be doin' the catering out of her restaurant."

Jack muses over the idea for several minutes, remembering how you had talked about just that idea right from the beginning. "Hopefully she doesn't overextend herself and by extension - Diana." He does think you would be fantastic at it though.

"I told 'em they had to hire somebody to do the actual planning." Champ nods, having had the same worry. "Di can work magic on anything, but doin' all the tours and weddings would be too much even for my Wonder Woman. And I know your gal wanted to do these from the beginning, but she was the first one to mention hiring a planner. So it'll work out." He chuckles though, glancing at Jack. "Only question is if it's gonna be you or Tequila that gets married first."

"Shit Champ." Jack huffs, propping his hands on his hips as he contemplates that idea. "Do you know how long it's been since my first weddin'?" He asks, remembering the small, ranch wedding he had with Abigail. He had been so goddamn happy and eager to put a ring on her finger. Still a wet behind the ears virgin who wanted nothing but his soulmate. This time - and he's already admitting there will be a 'this time' - he has no idea how he will feel. He's older, more experienced and still completely out of his depths.

"Yes I do." He knows exactly how long, but he also knows that Jack needed that distance. "And when y'all do decide to make a go of it, we'll all be glad to celebrate with you."

"We are takin' things slow." Jack admits quietly. "I want to go to therapy with her. Because of what happened to her and because of my own shit I dumped on her."

If Champ is surprised, he doesn't let himself show it. He nods, rocking a little on his heels, and leans back against the bar counter behind them. "I'll make sure Doc makes space for you," he promises, lowering his voice a little more to match Jack.

"Thanks." Jack keeps his eyes on you, alert for any signs of fatigue or discomfort. Maybe a little overzealous but it has been less than 36 hours since he had held your limp body in the back of that SUV. "I appreciate that. I know I'm fucked up, have been for a long time but I don't want to hurt her anymore."

"Jack Daniels is a changed man." He can't resist teasing just a little. After all, they are friends. "From emotionless ladies man to considerate and caring partner. Can't say I ain't impressed."

"I've always been considerate." Jack puffs up, offended by that comment. "Considerate enough to let women run while the gettin' was good."

"I said 'considerate and caring partner'," Champ reminds him. "Been a long time since you had a woman who you thought of as an equal, that's all I'm saying. Never meant to imply you had no manners."

"What if I'm not good at it?" Jack's eyes tear away from you for a moment, meeting Champ's watery blue eyes before he looks away in embarrassment again. "Bein' a partner? What if I'm too goddamn bad at it and make her more miserable than she was before?"

"You're not gonna be perfect every single day." He says quietly, shifting so he's imperceptibly closer to his friend and refocusing his attention fully on Jack. "If you try to be perfect you're gonna end up a ticking time bomb of stress and urgency. Do the best you can. Support her. Be there for her. Let yourself love her in the best way you can, and when you fuck something up you make sure you goddamn apologize. And when you don't know what to do? You talk to her. Talk to the doc with her. Can't fix a problem if you don't admit somethin' is broken."

Jack has to admit that Champ gives damn good advice. He knows that even as happy as him and Diana have been over the years, there have been nights where Champ was banished to his couch in his office or Diana wasn’t talkin’ to him. So it’s obviously advice he’s used himself over the years. “I never want her to look that broken ever again.” He doesn’t mean just physically. That was horrible, but nothing could match the horror at seeing the utter defeat in your eyes. The light extinguished, the joy vanquished and luckily it had returned. He never wants to be the cause of it fading again.

"Then you're gonna have to learn to talk without just runnin' your mouth." It makes Champ chuckle a little, and he shrugs one shoulder as he looks back to you with your family - sitting now, watching the baby yawn in the double stroller. "And if you get it figured out, you let me know? I still can't quite get the hang of it, but I'm tryin'."

Jack chuckles and shakes his head, reaching out and slapping his friend’s shoulder. “Be sure to file an after action report as soon as I have mission success.”

Champ's reply is stifled when you turn your head, smiling back at Jack and stifling your own yawn. The man beside him seems to respond instantly and Champ is of no mind to keep him from you. Especially not today.

Jack doesn’t even excuse himself, just pushes off the bar and starts walking over towards you. “I need to get you back.” He murmurs before he looks over at Diana. “Our wonderful tour guide will take you folks out to see the horses, but I’m going to take this one back to the house.”

"Of course." Your mother reacts before anyone else can, watching Jack with you for a moment before looking back to Diana. "Maybe you could recommend someplace for a big group to go for dinner in Louisville? It would be nice to see some of the city while we're here."

"Of course!" Diana cuts in so you don't protest. No one is going to let you cook or play host tonight. Not if you're not up to it. "I'd be glad to give you some recommendations. Let's take the kids to the property line and we can chat?" She puts one hand softly on your shoulder and smiles. "You get some rest, honey."

The caretaking instincts have kicked in, in everyone around you, and you know that you don't have a prayer of winning when they're all dead set on looking after you. "Okay." You nod after a moment. "But I'm just a little tired, that's all. I'm fine."

Jack smiles triumphantly at Diana and your mom before he winds his arm around you. "Come on, sugar. We'll go have us a nap so you can spend some more time with your folks when they get back." He suggests, fingers stroking your skin right at your hip, easing under your shirt automatically so he can feel your warmth.

He gives you enough time to exchange a few hugs before bundling you out the door, and you tuck your hand in his back pocket as you head back toward the neighborhood. "You don't have to lay down with me, Jack, it's okay," you murmur, allowing yourself the chance to lay your head on his shoulder. "Unless my folks have exhausted you. Which I would totally understand."

Jack snorts, aware that he could continue to do whatever for hours but the opportunity to hold you isn’t one he’s willing to give up. “I’m not going to let you nap without me.” He pouts at you playfully.

"Afraid I'll leave your sheets smelling like me?" You tease, raising your head to smirk at him. As slow as you've agreed to move, there doesn't seem to be any shortage of attraction between you. Thank goodness for that.

He chuckles and holds you just a little tighter. “More like I don’t want you to be lonely in that big bed all by yourself.”

"Mmm." If you tried to claim that you wouldn't be, it would be an awful lie. "We shouldn't sleep too long, though. If they're going to go out to eat, we should think about dinner, too."

The chuckle that escapes his lips is filthy but he nods. “Baby, I’ll be perfectly happy making a sandwich for you.”

"You're not gonna let me lift a finger, are you?" Sure you smirk at the suggestiveness in his laugh, but you just pat his ass with the hand that is tucked into his back pocket.

“Are you going to complain?” He asks, lifting his brow at you. “You don’t want me spoiling you right now and taking care of you?”

"I'm not complaining at all." You shake your head, searching his face to make sure he's just teasing and not upset at all. You had seen him talking to Champ but couldn't hear what they were talking about. "I just...I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me. I can always curl up on the couch or grab myself something to eat if you have other things to do."

“I have nowhere else that is more important than being right here.” The worry that you’re feeling smothered hits him and he looks back at you seriously. “Unless you need some time to yourself? You need me get lost for awhile, sugar?”

"No." As if to prove it, you squeeze him tighter to your side. "I just didn't know if Champ was talking to you about work or something." Looking up at him, it's easy to tell that you're both worried in different ways. "I want to spend time with you, Jack. But if you have work to do, I don't want to keep you from me. I'm a big girl with plenty of patience."

"I'm not plannin' on going back out into the field until after your big openin'." Jack admits with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I want to make sure we have time for a few good sessions with the doc before anything."

“Really?” Despite how well you’ve been doing this last day and a half or so, you really did expect Jack to run for the field as soon as he was able. It’s been his whole life - why would you ever think he would do otherwise? “Well,” you offer him a shy smile. “I can’t say I’m upset about that.”

"Listen, sugar." Jack stops in the middle of the gravel path that leads towards the employee housing and takes a hold of your shoulders gently. "I know that I've acted like a horse's ass, but I–" he sighs and tries again. "I want to be here for things that are important to you, and I want to make sure that you are good before I step back into the field." He rubs your shoulders gently. "I love you, sugar."

“I love you, too.” Since the shock of hearing him say it for the very first time yesterday, this time it warms you through and seeps into your bones with comfort as you put your arms around him. “And I’m grateful that you want to be home with me while we’re working up to the opening. Just like I’m grateful that you’re spending time with my family and having us at your place.” He watches you intently, you’ve found, and you keep your arms around him. “I guess I just want to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself as well as you’re taking care of me.”

"I'm getting used to...to caring about someone like this again." Jack admits quietly. "It’s different than caring about the people I work with or friends. But I don't mind it."

“There’s no rush.” No matter what, you’re always going to want to give him the respect and support he deserves, which means letting him come to this at his own pace. “If you want to coexist and spend all that free time together? Baby, I’m in. But I’m not going to be offended if you’re the kind of person who needs alone time to recharge.” Placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, you smile softly and lean into his arms. “We’re still learning about each other, but I love what I’m learning.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to disappear.” The words slip out of his mouth unbidden, and he wishes he could take them back. It’s a fear, a real one. That if he takes his eyes off you for a second you will be in danger or worse again.

Frowning, you pull back again and search his face. “What do you mean?”

“I–” Jack reaches up and runs his hand over your hair and down your back. “She asked me to go to the store that day.” He admits quietly. “When she realized she forgot the candles. But I was fuckin’ with the grill. We were havin’ the boys come up from the bunk house for a barbecue and cake and beer.” He shakes his head, reminding himself that he wasn’t to blame. If it hadn’t been that day, Rollins would have found another day to ruin his life. “I let her out of my sight and she died. I pushed you away and let you out of my sight and Rollins got his claws into you. Tried to take you from me too.” He leans forward and presses his head against yours again. “Only thing I can think of right now is that as long as I have you near me, you’re safe.”

“Oh honey…” Instantly tightening your arms around him, you press a reassuring kiss to Jack’s lips and hold onto him for a long moment. “I’m sorry. You keep your eagle eye on me for as long as you need to feel better, okay? I’m not going anywhere with you for at least the next few days. And if next week you want to come and make yourself useful at the restaurant while we get ready to open, you’re more than welcome. Just—” Your hand gently cups his cheek and brushes over the stubble on his jaw. “You saved me, Jack. You did. And Rollins is gone forever. You did that for me and for her.”

“Tiny little pieces.” Jack reminds himself quietly. “He’ll never hurt you again, sugar.”

“Why don’t you take me home so we can have that nap?” It makes sense why he doesn’t even let you sleep without him curled around you, knowing now that he’s working through fears of his own. You would never criticize him for not. Not in a million years. “We can make some sandwiches for dinner when we wake up, and see what everybody is feeling up to when my family gets back tonight?”

“I can light a fire in the outdoor fireplace.” Because his house is larger, his back yard is larger too. He had let Diana create a relaxing atmosphere out there with Adirondack chairs and stringed lights around the stone fireplace.

“Sounds perfect.” You start to walk again, arms around each other with your pace at a stroll. “Fair warning, though. My mom’s already figured out what part of your yard would make the perfect place for me to plant a garden.”

Jack laughs and the tension he hadn’t realized he had been holding in his shoulders about why he is hovering. Or the tension about how you would react to it. “Raised beds or no?”

You nod, laughing with him as you turn the corner into your neighborhood. “Raised beds for some of it, to create contrast. I swear, that woman is where I get my planning genes from. I bet if you asked her tonight she’ll have the whole thing mapped in her head.”

“Well, when you want to get planting, you let me know.” Jack muses. He doesn’t use the back yard for much and if you wanted to grow things, it would be yours to use.

“I’m not gonna take over your yard, honey.” If you lived together it would be one thing. It would at least be a conversation to have. But it’s very nice of him to be so open and welcoming. “I’m just saying it would be a chat that would make my mom happy.”

He snorts. “I hardly ever go back there.” He tells you. “If you wanted to put a pool in there, I wouldn’t care. Though I might use it then.”

As you turn the corner off the main street to head toward his house, you shrug slightly. Is not a big deal, and it shouldn’t matter. But here you are being shy about it. “It’s still your house,” you remind him. “If it were like months or even years from now and we were living together, that would be different. But this is your personal space.”

“Maybe it won’t be my personal space soon.” Jack muses. “Your little cabin is smaller than mine and we do have two agents coming in.” He says it casually, like it’s not a big deal. “It wouldn’t be much different from the last two days.”

“Did you j—” Stopping dead in the middle of the sidewalk in front of his large house, you’re practically gaping at him for how casually he just tossed out the option like he was saying you should have BLTs for dinner while your heart pounds a mile a minute. “You want us to live together?”

Jack stops and turns back towards you, slightly uneasy. “You don’t have to. I know it’s a step. A big one. But don’t feel like I’m pushing.”

“No, I do!” You blurt out, flustering at how quickly you jump on the invitation once you realize it’s sincere. It feels like your chest could burst from the happy way your heart swells and you reach forward to grab his hand again. “You’re not pushing. You’re offering. I’m just…” You exhale softly, looking embarrassed. “I’m still getting used to the idea that you want me — that you love me — the same way I love you.”

“I understand.” Jack does, and he’s grateful that you are as compassionate as you are. Otherwise he would have been out on his ass. “I spent plenty of time loudly telling you that I didn’t. I don’t expect you to – I guess understand – right away.”

“How about we make this something that we talk to the doc about?” You step closer to him to put your arm through his and start to lead him up the walk to his own front door. “In the meantime, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wanted to accept without thinking.” It’s silly to admit, but having him be so open and eager is like a balm for your soul. “So what would you think about having an extended slumber party for a while? Even after my parents are gone. Like a trial run?”

“I was planning on that anyway.” Jack admits with a grin. “The only way you are sleeping alone is if you lock the door or when I go back to the field.” He doesn’t mention that he has dreamed about how you looked on that floor several times.

“Hmmm.” The shrewd hum through your lips is just a cover so you don’t giggle in delight, and you walk up to the front door with him arm in arm. “You’re gonna have to have my thumb print added to your front door scanner.”

“Done, sugar.” Jack grins. “You did say you wanted to cook in my kitchen.”

“Got any other surprises for me while we’re at it?” He pushes inside and you follow him, letting that buoying feeling of joy float through you.

Jack bites his lip and considers not mentioning it, but he doesn’t think that would go over well. “What Champ and I were talking about…Tex is coming back. Apparently his banishment is over.”

"Oh?" It smacks your system with a hit of anxiety, knowing that the whole situation was over you and how poorly all three of you handled it. "Soon...or? Have you talked to him since he left?" Just because he hadn't reached out to you – or answered any of your texts – doesn't mean he hasn't spoken to anyone else.

“He’ll be here this weekend.” Jack tells you. “I haven’t talked to him, but I don’t know if he’s forgiven me yet. He–” Jack wipes his hands on his jeans. “He apparently found his soulmate over there. She’s an agent too. She’s coming back with ‘im.”

“Well…that’s great, isn’t it?” The door shuts behind you and you keep moving automatically, up toward the master bedroom. Though you don’t really feel like napping anymore. “Hopefully that should…it should make things easier for all of us. To be able to put what happened behind us.”

“I don’t– I’m not jealous of what happened.” Jack grunts at his own lie. “I mean, I am, but it’s because of myself. I don’t judge you for being with the boy. I practically set that up, bein’ a dumbass.”

“If you judged me for a relationship I had when I was single, we would be having a whole other conversation.” At the top of the stairs he turns left and you stick to his side without hesitation. “But like I said, that’s in the past. And whoever his soulmate is, I hope he’s head over heels and exceedingly happy.” You flash him a smile that clearly says: like I am.

“I know.” Jack grins back at you. “Just want you to know I’m not going to act like a bull during mating season. I won’t try to keep you from being friendly or anything.”

“That’s a very vivid image you paint there, babe.” You can’t help but laugh, and flop down on Jack’s enormous bed with a sigh. “Because I do want to be friends with him, and I know you two are close too. I don’t want to be the reason that that ended.”

“Nah, it’ll take more than a puny punch to the jaw for me to stop saving the fool’s ass in the field and keeping him out of trouble when we’re at home.” Jack jokes with a wink as he peels off his blazer and starts to unbutton his shirt. “You gonna get comfortable, sugar or are you gonna watch?”

“I’m not gonna deny that I like the view.” Despite raising one playful eyebrow at him, you shift on the bed to pull off your boots, socks, and jeans first.

“Mmmhm.” You yawn again and he chuckles. Your reaction to the chamber was being sleepy. It wasn’t a bad thing but it does take a few days to get back to normal, according to Ginger.

“It’s a good view.” Your bra joins the small pile of your clothes in the bedside table so you can sleep in your panties and t-shirt. “You gonna nap with me, handsome? Or just snuggle?”

“Probably just snuggle.” He admits, not that he has any problem with that. He could hold you and be perfectly rested.

“Okay.” The two of you climb under the blankets together and you sigh contentedly when he opens his arms for you to get comfortable in the circle of their security. “Snuggles are good.”

“Yes they are sugar.” Jack kisses the crown of your head and sighs, breathing you in and reminding himself that you are here. That he needs to relax and not believe that every time he looks away something bad is going to happen. “Get some rest. I’ll be right here.”

______ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide​ @elegantduckturtle ​

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My Masterlist!

[jhilsara]

I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She's 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn't awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.

Small moments of Hobie meeting his world's MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she's neat.

Chapter 10

She’s sitting on her couch glaring at her phone like it's personally attacked her.

She’s trying to avoid calling him again, she’s frankly tired of it.

She’s biting at her nails, trying to do anything besides wait by her phone. The tv is on in the background but she’s not paying attention. The fear creeping in eats at her. Fear and anger. She sighs and reaches for her phone and swipes to her contacts. His name is right under the recent call log. Her thumb hovers over it, debating on calling Hobie again.

He has disappeared and it’s got her terrified.

He hasn’t shown at the pub in a few days. So, she decided to stop by his houseboat, which was empty. She’d say it doesn’t look like anything had been touched but she wouldn’t know. The place is chaotically organized and she isn't there enough to make a definitive statement on if it's been touched or not.

What really frightened her was that Spider-Man wasn’t out either. There had been a few incidents, petty crime stuff… but she knows Hobie, she knows when he patrols. He would have caught it.

She called him. Just to check in… that was three days ago.

Pacing her living room, her thumb still hovers over the call button, unsure if she should. She’s frustrated and tired. Her brow furrows as she stares down at her screen, her heart feeling tight.

She had spent the night before walking the streets and checking shitty little alleys. She was worried he might be dead in one, if she were to voice her fears. Just even thinking about it made her sick. She came up empty though. She doesn't know what's worse, finding him dead or not knowing if he's dead.

Her fear is replaced with anger as she stares down at her phone. If he wasn’t dead he better have an amazing excuse, because she was going to kill him.

She finally hits the call button, bouncing on her feet trying to diffuse the nervous tension in her body.

“I swear to god if this bloody bastard doesn’t pick up I’m going to ballistic…” she mutters to herself.

It sends her to voice mail.

“Absolute fucking prick.” She throws her phone down and walks off to her bedroom. “I can’t stay up another night wondering where he is!” She pulls at her hair and goes to lay on her bed.

Her weight falls onto the bed with a thud. She curls into herself, wrapping her arms tightly around herself, begging her brain to stop feeding her anxiety. She's been worrying herself sick for days. She doesn't remember the last real meal she ate, she hasn't felt this bad since her family dog ran off when she was ten. She cried and cried and cried for that dog. Hoping it would come back home, back to her. The dog never came back and all she got was scolded by her mother for still crying over the lost animal.

She squeezes her eyes shuts and prays to just fall asleep, anything was better than what was happening in her head. 

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

She groans at the consistent noise and tries to go back to sleep. She had finally passed out, but now this repetitive tapping was waking her up.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

She sits up and looks out her bedroom window, nothing. She flops back down and sighs shoving a pillow over her ears.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

She suddenly bolts up; the noise isn’t from her bedroom window. It’s her balcony.

“Absolutely not.” she groans to herself.

 She throws the blankets off her and rushes into the living room. She sees the familiar silhouette on her balcony.

She glares at the door, her face twisting in anger. She reaches for the lamp to turn on. Once the light floods her room, she sees him on her balcony. Her face sours even more upon seeing him. He has a faltering smile on his face as he looks at her. Waiting.

“Give me on good reason to let you in here.” She demands crossing her arms as she shoots him a look that’s says more than her words could. Her eyes are clouded as she glares daggers at him.

“C’mon MJ. Let me in, cold out here.” He attempts, voice muffled through the glass.

Her brows raise in irritation, “Don’t care. You literally disappeared on me for a week. So, unless your explanation is life altering, I don’t want to see your face.” She says walking away from her balcony doors.

She’s glad he isn’t dead, but now it’s just unfiltered boiling rage coursing through her body towards him.

“Mariana please…I can explain, promise.” He says pressing his forehead on the door. He pleads with his big brown eyes, that always make her want to scream. He looks like a lost dog.

She huffs in frustration and defeat, “Fucking prick, disappears for a week and gives me those stupid puppy dog eyes and I just give in…” she mumbles chastising herself.

She flings the door open and steps back. She crosses her arms and looks at him, waiting.

He stumbles in behind her, surprised he actually made it this far. His eyes slowly look over her, taking in her appearance.

She’s in her pajamas, hair messy from sleep. She has dark circles under his eyes and he can see she’s been biting her nails. He notices how her hands dig into her own arms as they lay crossed over her chest. She’s guarding herself, protecting herself from him.

He realizes, as he looks her over, she’s been worried over him. Desperately so.

He sighs and shakes his head. He takes a deep breath before speaking, “Don’t have a good excuse for my disappearing act…”

She scoffs and turns away from him, “Course you don’t.” she whispers bitterly.

“Hey, listen,” He goes to touch her shoulder but she recoils from his touch. His hand lowers, shaking. He pulls back to himself.

“I was trying to avoid you okay?” he tells her honestly.

Her head whips up to look at him in almost confused betrayal. She doesn’t say anything, the silence acting as enough of an answer for him.

“Can’t do this,” He says running his hands over his face, “I don’t keep people around…” He starts. “Connecting with people isn’t my thing, I like being alone mostly… they don’t stick around like you.” He mutters looking at her.

 “So, what? You, you just cut me off? Cause you’re afraid?” she accuses voice rising.  “What about your band and those photos? Are they not your friends?” she adds in confusion.

“Yeah, they are,” He sighs, his shoulders dropping. “It’s different with you… no one’s stuck around the way you have and I ran.”  He tells her. Owning up what he did. He looks at her trying to get what he needs to say out. It feels like his throats swollen, filled with unspoken words that are too big and too important to get out.

“You came to tell me you’re afraid of intimacy after disappearing for a week… I figured that out on my own, thanks.” She says unimpressed.

She scoffs at where this conversation is going, she’s in disbelief. She doesn't want to hear anymore, it hurts too much.

“Not why I’m here MJ.” He says shaking his head.

“Please enlighten me, because I’m lost!” She says looking up at him. Her eyes are glossy and her voice is cracking, “I don’t know what is going on with you and I’m mad at you Hobie. I don’t want to be but I am.” She tells him her hands turning to fists at her side as they tremble. 

“M’not good at this…” He mutters, “Can I be honest?” he asks, voice ever so quiet. 

“Yes, that’s all I’m asking.” She replies looking lost. 

“I can’t lose you and that terrifies me alright? What happens if you’re with me and you die?” he asks voice shaking a little. “Can’t have that alright? You’re too important to me… Thought if I left it’d be easier on you.” He admits.

Her hearts racing, she knows what he means, but it doesn’t sit right in her stomach.

“You’re a real selfish dickhead you know that?” she says, her voice small as she looks up at him. “I don’t know what we’re doing Hobie, but I know I don’t want to lose you either.” She says exasperatedly.

She turns her head away from him looking down at her own feet, “I have messed up a lot of relationships okay…All I have is the people at the pub, my dad, and.. and you.” She says frustratedly.

Her arms come up and wrap around herself tightly. Trying to comfort herself the best she can.

“And to be honest… I prefer you to the lot at the pub.” She says with a dry, choked, laugh. She can feel her eyes really start to well up and she tries to stop herself. The last thing she wants to do is cry.

He reaches out hesitantly for her, she doesn’t recoil from his touch this time. He gently pulls her into a hug. She doesn’t return it, but she doesn’t push him away either.

He tucks her under his head, his chin resting on her.  

“Fucked up…” He mumbles lowly, “How do I fix this?” he asks her softly.

“You can’t just disappear on me…” Her voice breaks, almost into a sob but she holds herself back. “I thought you were dead in some alley.” She murmurs into his chest wrapping her arms slowly around him. Holding him tightly, her hands clinging onto him.

He rubs soothing circles into her back, “Can’t get rid of me that easily, promise.” He chuckles softly.

She scoffs a bit, “Says the guy crawling in my window needing to be stitched up every other week.”

The air around them isn’t filled with the same tense energy as before. They’re easing back into themselves, their routine. She enjoys the comfort of his large hands on her back and how she fits into the crook of his neck.

He enjoys her warmth, how it feels when she holds onto him. He didn't realize how much he missed it until it was gone. Even if it was just for a few days. 

He gives a genuine laugh at her words, it’s deep and shakes her body with him, “That was only a couple times, c’mon give me some credit here?” He says pressing a kiss into her hair.

“I don’t know what you did before me, can’t imagine you stitching yourself up.” She says gently.

He scoffs, “I’m a great nurse! Wrapped your ankle pretty well.” He says haughtily.

She snorts and looks up at him, “Uh-huh, and how many times have you patched yourself up since I started to?”

He makes a face and rolls his eyes at her, “What? Want me to go find another pretty girls’ balcony to patch me up instead? Ya sick of me, that it?” he teases her.

She laughs softly at that, “What like a tom cat? You a stray now?” She asks cocking her head to the side. 

He makes a face of mild distaste, “Good to know I’m just a stray cat luv, gotta keep my ego in check.”

“What, you don’t like that? Do you want to be domesticated instead?” she teases with a grin.

“Okay you’re just takin’ the piss now.” He mutters in fake irritation.

She just giggles, but once that dies down they’re both staring into each other’s eyes. The silence almost too loud between them. He moves his hand to cup her face, his eyes taking in her every feature.

“Can’t lose you… it’s dangerous being around me.” He says seriously, brows furrowed.

She shakes her head, “It’s worth it to be with you.” She says softly.

He feels her chipping away at his heart, carving her little hole for herself to sit in.

He presses a kiss to her forehead and pulls her against him tightly, her hands returning the gesture. Holding onto him, digging her nails into him, like she’s afraid he’ll disappear again.

“I…” He opens his mouth to tell her something, but loses his voice. It cracks and makes him wish he could just tell her.

“It’s okay.” She says softly. “We don’t, we don’t need to do that right now.”

He sighs and pulls back to look at her, “I want to try whatever it is, that we’re doing.”

She nods her head in agreement, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “A different conversation, not tonight.” She holds his face in her hands.

Her eyes flicker down, her face burning for a moment, “Can you stay tonight… with me?” she asks a little embarrassed.

He grins and gives a soft chuckle, “Yeah I can. Not going anywhere.” He gently reminds her.

She grins at him and moves to grab his hand and pull him to her bedroom. “Good.”

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