#i have an active social life and people constantly compliment me for my fashion and makeup and the way i look

[aliensunflower-fics]

How to Exploit Kindness [A New Kind of Lila Salt Prompt]

[ Ive seen Lila and Class salt that goes a lot of different ways. In some Lilas a sad lonely girl who will do anything for friends and the class fall for her lies through a mixture of manipulation and Lila’s genuine sad lonely but real persona. In others Lila is insane and the class get basically sucked into her cult. And in others still, Lila slowly breaks the class down by preying on there insecurities, hidden jealousies ect. There are the versions where Lila just bribes the class with connections and the versions where Lila frames Marinette until no one believes her. But I wanted to write a new idea for people to use, one that I feel is a bit more realistic. One where Marinette’s classmates are more their more authentic kind selves but still get slowly pulled into Lila’s web and where Lila is just a bit more intelligent. ]

[ As usual with all my prompts feel free to borrow the idea to write for your own thing salt, sugar, cuteness angst ect just be sure to credit me for the idea so I can read it. ]

Lila was furious! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to be everyone's friend! She was supposed to finally get a cute perfect boyfriend who would cherish her like she deserved! She was supposed to be HAPPY! But no, the pathetic beetle Ladybug and that goody two shoes Marinette kept ruining everything!

No… No that wasn’t quite true. As much as she wanted to blame her problems on those two it wasn’t entirely their faults. Honestly Lila wasn’t quite sure what had happened. Her lies had been working at first, they had gotten her praise and compliments and adoration and friendship! But now? Now they were all ignoring her, unimpressed by her celeb lies! She could not understand it! At first she’d been sure it was Marinette or Ladybug maybe even Adrien had turned on her! But when she’d probed for information she’d learned that none of them had blown the whistle. So what was it! Tomorrow… Tomorrow she will find out one way or another. She needed to get them back under her thumb somehow.

 It was Chloe who gave Lila her answers. Chloe was the reason none of her classmates cared about her stories! Chloe was the idiot mayor's brat. And what a brat she was constantly wiggling her way into her mothers fashion shoots or had celebrities over at the hotel. Of course Lila’s classmates didn’t care about Lila’s celebrity connections because Chloe was always name dropping just as many people as herself. The only difference was Lila used fake modesty and shyness that made her ‘friends’ view her lies in less of a gloating light than Chloe’s haughty claims of celebrity meetings.

It was a damn shame, celebrity lies were her bread and butter, they were exciting got people to think you were important and they were hard to prove or disprove allowing Lila to easily get around the messy little detail of ‘proof’ if someone asked for pictures all she could say was that her mom didn't let her take any because she didn't want her precious daughter being targeted by crazy fans. And if someone asked her to use her celebrity connections? Well she could just turn on the water works and cry about them just being her friend for her connections. Thus her prey would be forced to be her ‘friend’ , always listening to her and doing things for her, unable to ask for anything in return. Then when her mother announced their next move Lila would tearfully say goodbye and leave all her suckers behind. But without the sway of her celebrity lies her system broke down. That was the problem with picking the school full of rich talented idiots she supposed.

Well with Chloe ruining her system she’d need a new one. Scrolling through her classmates' social media for a clue she sneered at their overly cheerful and cutesy posts. Always encouraging one another and posting encouraging puff pieces about this or that. Always acting like they were so nice. As Lila scrolled over a charity fundraiser event that Alya had retweeted from Milene a sudden thought crossed her mind. Her classmates were very ‘nice’ and annoyingly so. They were always butting into each other's business, always being SO concerned, always organizing events to help each other and appreciate each other and going to charity events.

In fact now that she thought about it the stories that had intrigued her ‘friends’ always had some sort of charity garbage attached. Saving Jagged’s kitten or raising money for some cause or other that always got her heaps of praise. Sure saying Clara whatshername stole her dance moves got attention but not in the same way saying she raised money for some green project. Was it really that simple? Sure her classmates all loved Marinette for her extreme generosity and kindness but was it REALLY that simple? She needed to check.

 It was actually that easy. One simple little lie about how she pulled a blind old man out of danger when he was nearly run over and suddenly the class was bathing her in praise. And the ‘fact’ that the whole very real thing made her miss first period and sprain her ankle? Well that was just the cherry on top. Suddenly Max was offering her a copy of his notes and everyone was back to caring for her like she was a princess. The fact that Marinette looked like she was seething only for sweet naive Adrien to keep her mouth shut was just so perfect. She’d found her golden ticket. Her classmates were truly ‘good kind people’ and nothing could be exploited quite like kindness.

With this knowledge Lila would easily be able to destroy Marinette, sure she wouldn’t be able to do it quickly but slowly she would replace her, with every good deed she made up with every act of false modesty she would build a reputation greater than Marinette’s she would replace her and become there new ‘everyday ladybug’ and the best part was she wouldn’t have to say ANYTHING against Marinette. Not. A. Thing. No sweet righteous Marinette would eventually snap, sadly for her it would probably be too late with how much control Adrien had over her, so when it happened Marinette would look like the jealous crazy girl going after the girl that was kinder, sweeter, and better than herself. As for Adrien… Well she had a hard time believing it at first but he really was an idiot with a pretty face as long as she was careful as she built her new reputation he would genuinely believe that she was changing for the better and then he'd fall for her.

The best part was, her classmates were genuine. As she built her new good girl heart of gold persona they would genuinely come to love her, all the loyalty Marinette got to enjoy all the perks of being friends with such talented, kind, sweet people would become hers. Slowly no matter how Marinette struggled she would lose, eventually she’d have nothing left. Of course she’d need to be careful with her lies but that was easy. Bring the class to a charity here and there and tell them that she was the one who gave the idea for the charity to the actual organizer but didn't want any credit because she was just that kind and humble. If they tried to make her do actual work then she’d have a sudden accident that would require she sit down.

And then once she’d done more photoshoots with Adrien for Gabriel she’d ‘convince’ the man that a charity would make him look good and boost sales. She’d MAKE her lies true all while winning over her future father in law, and heck maybe she’d even pocket a little of the money, she could use a better wardrobe and the extra would be perfect to buy her ‘friends’ the occasional ice cream or presents. In between that she’d just lie about saving people or volunteering on weekends. Maybe even let it ‘slip’ how she was a temp hero for Ladybug . One of the sweetest parts was that between volunteering with Lila, there own activities and hanging out with Lila so she could ‘thank them for their hard work’ no one would be spending a second hanging out with sweet pink little Marinette, they'd abandon her without even realizing it because they’d be SO busy. Sadly this plan of hers would take a little more work then her others, but it would be worth it to become the queen bee of the class- NO the school! And when Marinette eventually slipped up and looked like the biggest jealous bully in the school. Well she’d have no choice but to leave the school with her tail in between her legs.

Victory was looking sweet and satisfying.

 [ And where it goes from here is up to you. Lila can win, she can slowly convince the class and school that she's a model citizen and an everyday hero. She can sneakily maneuver the class to not spend time with Marinette slowly separating the girl from her friends. In this way Alya and the rest of them don't become evil salty versions of themselves who overnight hate Marinette and love Lila, but rather they are good naive people who got slowly separated and tricked by someone who wants to use their genuine talents and skills to make herself look better. Adrien who is already shown to be naive and wants to believe the best in people, can fall into Lila’s trap and become genuinely convinced that his high road method really worked and ‘reformed’ Lila into a better person. OR Lila can fail, she can claim to be the wrong temporary hero for ladybug, or she can pick the wrong charity to lie about, or get exposed any number of ways and the class can realize with horror that because they are kind but flawed people who are perhaps too trusting and gullible that they got pulled away from Marinette through subtle manipulation and so they can be redeemed because instead of turning into outright bullies they stayed the same kind people they always were but just got genuinely tricked which is something that can actually happen in real life. You can go heavy salt where Marinette does eventually leave the school or class heartbroken that her kind friends have fallen prey to a bad person Marinette cant find a way to expose. Or you can go clever salt where Marinette figures out Lila’s plan and fights her from the inside slowly exposing the cracks in her facade. Or you can go sugar and redemption where maybe just maybe Lila actually LIKES being nice to people and having real friends who dont care about her fake celeb connections, maybe she honestly redeems herself and even makes amends with Marinette. You can do genuinely anything with this idea and I hope to see this generate some new less *and suddenly everyone is evil* content for those that like salt and angst. ]

[tothemeadow]

~*ᑕᕼᗩᑭTEᖇ OᑎE*~

warnings: alcohol consumption, oral sex

words: 2.8k

Prologue

-

Perhaps you should’ve have taken Daki more seriously. After that fateful night at the so-called gathering, she’s become adamant on getting you hooked onto the luxurious life. Frankly, you thought the rest of the night was a bore, watching rich people mill about, talking to each other about issues that you could wish to understand. The only thing that really kept you going was the company of your best friend and the delicious edibles set on the many tables.

Time and time again, Daki brought up the encounter you had with Idris’ friends – could they even be called that? She gushed about how handsome Rengoku Kyojuro was, how darling it would be to hang off his arm. You noticed the suggestive hint to her tone; you knew exactly where her train of thoughts was going, and you’d be damned if she acted upon them.

In fact, you’re entirely positive that she’s planning on whisking you into her lifestyle. Even now, as you sit in some one-roomed, slinky club, she taps a manicured finger against her chin. The place itself is dripping with wealth, from the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the clusters of velvet chairs, right down to the mahogany bar you sit at. You don’t have the slightest clue how Daki knows of a place like this, but – judging from the few other patrons acquainting the place – it’s meant for those types of meetings. You have the slightest inkling that this is where she met Idris in the first place.

Glancing over at her, you can understand why Idris was drawn to her in the first place; of course, Daki has always been insanely beautiful, but her sense of fashion is impeccable. Combined with her short skirt and the thick platforms on her feet, her legs are long, soft. She looks like she just came off straight off a runway; she might as well have, if the big Chanel logo on her beret hints at anything. She’s perfect sugar baby material, and you’d be lying if you’d say you didn’t respect her for pulling off such a feat.

“Mitsuri really liked you,” Daki’s saying. You snap back to attention, mentally cursing yourself out for getting lost in your thoughts. “She thinks you’re really pretty, too.”

Ah, Kanroji Mitsuri: renowned fashion designer and easily one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever met. Her welcoming, bubbly personality had definitely struck a chord inside you, and you were more than thankful that she had been so nice. Hearing something like that, though… Well…

Staring down at your wine, you swirl the deep red fluid around in your glass. “She’s just being nice,” you say, deflecting the compliment. You didn’t want to get your hopes up for nothing.

Rolling her eyes, Daki pops a grape into her mouth and waggles a finger at you. “Listen here, darling; Kanroji Mitsuri thinks you’re pretty. I wouldn’t take that so lightly.”

“You’re also drop dead gorgeous,” you shoot right back. “Of course you wouldn’t take it so lightly.”

“You’re missing the point,” Daki says with a sigh. “An insanely hot and rich woman – who has a great personality, by the way – is interested in you. By the way you two were talking at the gathering, it’s almost like you two have known each other forever.”

Deciding to take the bait, you set your wineglass down and turn towards her. “So what am I supposed to do?”

“Go on a date with her, obviously. I know Mitsuri will treat you right. And, if the night ends well…” Trailing off, she follows up with a giggle. “We’d be sugar sisters.”

“Come again?”

“Oh, come on, (y/n)! Think about how much fun it’ll be! Mitsuri will spoil you rotten and you’ll have mind-blowing sex.”

Your eyes nearly pop out of your head at the unexpected confession. Wait, did that mean…?

Daki flashes you a sly look. “What, you don’t think I only like men, do you? I may have fucked around with Mitsuri once or twice… But it was only a physical attraction, nothing more. Sometimes you just need to get with a woman.”

Embarrassment crawls up your neck at the mere idea of Daki and Mitsuri engaging in certain… activities. Warmth floods your system; you should be ashamed of thinking of your friend like that, but she did just tell you something you particularly didn’t want to know. And, truth be told, you are growing the slightest bit curious as to how Mitsuri’s like in bed…

A smirk pulls at the corners of Daki’s pretty mouth. She obviously knows what’s going on in your head – the two of you have been friends long enough for it to be second nature at this point. However, it still catches you by surprise as she fishes out a little piece of paper and slides it across the bar to you. “Since you’re clearly thinking about it, have her number,” she purrs. “I don’t think you’ll regret giving her a call.”

Taking the paper into your hands, you examine the neat, curly writing. You can imagine Mitsuri writing down the number, a flattering smile on her face. Your heart nearly skips a beat; did she really feel attracted to you? It’s just that, well, somebody at her social standing would usually stick to someone in the same group. You’re nowhere near it, so to have something like this happen… It’s kind of incredible.

You sigh. “Fuck it. I’ll call her.”

Daki eagerly claps her hands. “That’s my girl!”

-

On second thought, you might be regretting your decision.

Around you, the delicate clank of crystal glasses and fine platters intermingle with the soothing piano music. Other patrons talk amongst themselves, the slight murmur of dozens of voices reminding you of a hoard of bees. Some call out to the waiters passing by, wanting them to refill their glasses or get the check.

The dim, golden light makes the place ethereal, a heavenly glow surrounding everyone’s heads. Your hands glide over the spotless tablecloth, the pristine white of it practically mocking you. Jeez, if a single drop of wine spills on it, they’d probably just throw it away. Damn rich people and their ways – the mere idea of how much this tablecloth costs has your head spinning.

“You don’t have to look so scared,” Mitsuri says. “Believe it or not, but everyone here is just like you.”

You nearly scoff at that. You want to tell her that no, nobody is like you. You’re not rich and swanky, not by a long shot. Besides, this is Kanroji Mitsuri you’re speaking to. She’s part of this crowd; and since she’s a renowned fashion designer with a fairly large following, she’s practically a celebrity.

“I find that hard to believe,” you mutter. Picking up your glass, you take a careful sip of water, not wanting to cause a spill and embarrass yourself.

It’s not helping your nerves in the slightest that Mitsuri looks the way she does; hair pulled into a high ponytail, a slinky dress with a plunging neckline, dangling earrings that reflect the soft golden light. You don’t want to be disrespectful and stare at her pure, creamy skin, but it’s so hard. She’s downright beautiful – breathtaking, even – and it’s a challenge to keep your head on straight.

Her green eyes practically light up at your comment, a light giggle passing through her plump lips. “Everyone feels the pressure, you know. The need to keep up a perfect façade. It’s a shame, really, how so many people in this room wear a mask constantly.” She sighs, then, leaning forward and perching an elbow on the table and resting her chin in her palm. “I’ll be truthful, darling. The very first moment I met you, I knew you’d be different. You’re not some stuck-up corporate brat who’s too deep in their own shit to know right from left anymore. It’s refreshing.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. She hit the nail right on the head; sure, the upper class are usually depicted as being entitled assholes, but to hear it from Mitsuri? That’s just gold. She joins in on your laughter, the sweet, tinkling sound gracing your ears. It’s actually incredible how comfortable you feel around her, despite only knowing her for a couple of days.

“Plus,” Mitsuri continues, her laughter dying down, “I think you’re really cute.”

Scoffing, you try to downplay the excited fluttering in your heart. She’s almost been gushing about how nice you look all night, how much of a pleasantry it was that Daki introduced the two of you. Even better, she was so freaking ecstatic that you called her. Okay, yeah, so maybe you’re interested in Mitsuri. Who wouldn’t be? With the personality of a puppy and the looks of a supermodel, how could anyone say no to her?

“Now you’re just spoiling me,” you tell her.

“What can I say?” Mitsuri replies, voice smooth. “You deserve to be spoiled.”

Shock floods your system, sucks almost all the air from your lungs. Jaw dropping, you gape at her, completely at a loss for words. It doesn’t matter, though; your waiter comes back with the meals the two of you’ve ordered, placing them down gently on the table and busying himself with pouring glasses of wine.

“Enjoy the meal, ladies,” he says, his thick accent flooding his words. With a polite bow, he takes his departure, stepping away with quick, precise movements.

Staring down at the food you ordered, your mouth begins to water. Even though you aren’t the biggest fan of these damned rich people, you’ve got to admit that you’re jealous of the things they eat. Like, look at this! This is something King Midas would eat himself!

“It’s almost as if you’ve never eaten before,” Mitsuri says along with another adorable giggle. “If that’s your reaction, then I’m going to have to take you to every high-end restaurant in town!”

“What? No! Mitsuri, you don’t have to do that!” you ramble. “It’s just… Well…”

“Oh, come on. I want to.” Mitsuri pauses, then, picking up her glass with slender fingers and taking a sip of her wine. “I agree with Daki, you know,” she continues, “I think the two of us could have a lot of fun together.”

“…I’m afraid I don’t understand…?”

Mitsuri casts a devious smile over the rim of her glass at you. “Don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll find out soon enough.”

-

If you can recall it correctly, there’s a saying that would fit perfectly into this moment – blame it on the alcohol. Oh, but you’re not stupid. No, you at least have the guts to own up to your actions, as great or as stupid as they can be. That being said, you don’t want to admit to how desperate you’re feeling.

You didn’t doubt Daki for a single moment. As kind as she is beautiful, Mitsuri is the perfect package. She only managed to prove that point over and over again throughout the evening, swapping stories and genuinely taking the time to get to know you better. You still can’t believe she’s taken so much interest in you, but you aren’t going to complain about it any time soon. In fact, you’re glad that she’s into you.

Perhaps it was your tipsy mind that made you say yes; that’s what you want to believe, anyway. You don’t want to own up to the fact that you practically jumped at the opportunity of Mitsuri taking you home, to some swanky penthouse in one of the richest parts of the city. You barely had any time to gawk at the immaculate décor or overpriced furniture; no, what you got was a short tour as Mitsuri drug you off towards her bedroom.

The moments from there on out became nothing more than a blur. Clothing being slipped off, hands roaming over bare skin, the delicious heat of Mitsuri’s mouth. Your mind is still reeling from the turn of events, but you don’t have a single chance to think about it.

Heavy pants break through your lips, grace the still air in Mitsuri’s bedroom. The mattress is large, unforgivably so, topped with some of the softest blankets you’ve ever felt. Settled between your open legs, Mitsuri looks nothing short of perfection; long ponytail clutched in your grasp, her full eyelashes fluttering, the prettiest of blushes on her face, she’s a remarkable piece of art, reserved for your eyes only. The sounds spilling from between your legs is utterly sinful. Her lips and tongue eagerly work away at your sopping cunt, break down your walls until you’re a moaning mess.

“Fuck, Mitsuri,” you breathe, voice turning shrill towards the end. “That feels so good.”

Mitsuri moans at the praise, her manicured nails digging into the plush flesh of your thighs. Arching her back even more, you’re presented with a better view of her godly ass, the defined dimples on her back. She’s too gorgeous to handle, too fucking sexy. Giving her ponytail a yank, you relish in the pleased hum vibrating in the back of her throat.

“Naughty girl,” Misturi purrs as she pulls away. A mix of slick and smeared lipstick cover her lips, the lewd shine making your insides tighten. “I didn’t say you could do that, now did I?” The mere controlling tone of her voice causes another fat drop of slick to push its way out of your pussy. Eyes locking onto the sight, Mitsuri cracks a salacious smile. “Does baby girl like being talked down to?”

“Don’t… Don’t say it like that,” you whimper.

“I’m just speaking the truth,” Mitsuri purrs. “It’s not my fault this pretty little pussy likes it.” With her words, she traces a finger up and down your slit, collecting even more slick. Waggling the coated finger in your vision, she makes sure your eyes are on her before she slips it into her mouth, her swollen lips wrapping around it. “So tasty,” she moans. “So fucking sweet. You’re a real treat, you know that? It’s a shame Daki didn’t introduce us earlier.”

“Mitsuri-“

“Ah-ah-ah, don’t call me that,” she warns, the honey in her voice turning into something darker, heavier. You swallow thickly. “If you don’t mind, sweets… Call me Mommy. That is, unless you don’t want to cum? That works too.”

Oh, god, with an expression like that and her fingers playing with your sex, you’ll call her anything. “Mommy,” you murmur, “please.”

“Hmmm… What was that?”

Clenching the blankets between your fingers, you call out louder, “Mommy, please!” A loud gasp bursts from your throat, then, as Misturi shoves three fingers into you with no hesitation whatsoever. Her mouth descends on your clit once more, a pleased hum escaping her mouth at your sweet, sweet taste. Your hips buck into her wildly, your back arching off the mattress.

Mind clearing, vision turning fuzzy, your orgasm crashes over, your slick spilling all over her fingers and onto the blankets below. Mitsuri chuckles at that, seemingly pleased with both herself and your reaction. She keeps pressing on, though, her mouth and fingers working you through a second orgasm, and then a third. She’s relentless in her quest to make you cum over and over again, leaving you a shaking, crying mess of overstimulated nerves.

“Oh baby,” Mitsuri purrs once she pulls her mouth away. “You’re such a good girl to me, aren’t you? I’ll groom you real nice, shape you into something utterly perfect,” she continues, leaning in close and brushing her lips against your ear. “You’ll let me, won’t you? Come on, baby, let’s have some fun.” Shuffling up your body, she perches herself over your face, thick thighs encasing your head. “Be a darling and help me out, won’t you?”

“Yes, Mommy,” you coo. “Yes.”

-

In the end, Daki got what she wanted – a sugar sister.

Granted, you weren’t super eager to jump on the opportunity at first, but after some convincing from Mitsuri, you figured why not? As long as it’s with Mitsuri, there’s no harm, really. Plus, if you’re going to continue having incredible nights with her… Hell, of course you’re gonna agree!

“So, how did the date go?” Kyojuro’s voice rings through the phone. He sounds a bit too eager to hear the fine, juicy details.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mitsuri teases. Sitting comfortably next to you in bed, she scans her eyes of your sleeping form, at your bare arms and shoulders unhidden from the blankets. She smiles. “It went great, actually,” she says, voice gentle. “(y/n)’s incredible.”

“She’s a looker, too,” Kyojuro says. Even though Mitsuri can’t see him, she knows he’s smirking. “Real beauty.”

“Heh. It almost sounds like you want me to share her.”

Kyojuro huffs in amusement. “Now that sounds like a good idea. Even Tengen wouldn’t shut up about her after she left. Maybe if you’re feeling generous…?”

Running her fingers over your smooth skin, Mitsuri bites her lip. “…Maybe. If she wants to be shared, that’s up to her. Either way…” she trails off, gives a light giggle. “She’s great in bed.”

[readyplayerhobi]

An Essay On Why Jungkook Is A Treasure

Jungkook should not have felt the need to apologise to fans.

Jungkook didn’t need to apologise to fans because he’d done nothing wrong.

I am genuinely...so furious and upset over how he’s treated by fans, anti’s and the media. This ridiculous sweet boy who was so introverted and shy upon arriving at Big Hit that he’d cry when asked to sing or wait till everyone else had gone to bed to shower. This boy who grew from an awkward teenager into a handsome man before our eyes and in turn grew into his wonderful personality.

Jungkook spends hours of his free time composing his own songs for us that he will one day release. He spends hours making coveres of himself singing songs, he spends hours videoing his best friends and editing those videos to release them for free. He puts out his photography and let’s us in when his personality says he probably doesn’t like doing that.

Because Jungkook is not extroverted like Hoseok, he’s not outgoing like Taehyung, he’s not bubbly like Jimin. When he’s only with BTS, he comes to life because they’re safe to him. He knows he can be himself, even with cameras on him. But when he’s put into a situation where he has to interact with other people, particularly people he doesn’t know, you can see that introverted boy come back.

He stands behind everyone, he looks for Namjoon for comfort and reassurance. He practices English and has his moments of boldness in interviews but mostly sits back and simply admires Namjoon speaking. He hides behind the members to avoid being seen sometimes and gets shy when asked to speak. He goes unbelievably shy when complimented in public, trying to deflect it onto his members instead.

Jungkook ALWAYS makes sure that his members are happy. He actively looks out for them, remembers them, talks to them and does things to make them laugh. Even if it makes him look stupid in a situation in which he’s naturally not comfortable (interviews, award shows etc), he does it because if they’re laughing then he’s happy.

Jungkook is probably the least aware of his own level of fame and money given how little he seems to spend on himself. He buys things for comfort, not because they’re fashionable or expensive. He flits between so many different interests and sometimes, I think this is because he wasn’t allowed to grow and explore himself like everyone else does during those pivotal years. When others were discovering their true interests and figuring themselves out, Jungkook had to sit behind a mask and grow up in the spotlight of thousands and then millions. He’s only 22 after all! Which is why I think he seems to struggle keeping interest in anything except for music, the gym, filmography, photography and gaming.

And yet despite this, despite him being the sweetest and most endearing person, he gets unbelievable levels of hate? He gets into a small car accident (which wouldn’t even be a big deal here in the UK, like...you probably wouldn’t even call the police, just tell your insurer) yet everyone freaks out and it becomes news worthy in different countries. He hangs out with some friends and ends up in a dating scandal because people stalked him, all of which broke out when he was on the way to New Zealand?! And then he felt the need to apologise for it. Apologise for having a fucking LIFE?! He wasn’t doing anything wrong for god’s sake. He ends up in news articles when freaking anti’s trend a hashtag, not even for anything legitimate?!

He gets tattoos finally because he likes them and everyone freaks out over it. I genuinely think that he covers them on shows/TV to avoid Korean broadcasting rules but he covers them every other time because he knows that he’ll end up getting a lot of shit. Notice that Jungkook finally, FINALLY, began to use social media more last year? And then the whole scandal/s happened and he just...stopped. Again.

This just...really angers me. Jungkook is insanely talented, we all know this. BTS knows this, he knows it. But he’s not arrogant, he’s not cocky, he’s not an asshole about it. Maybe behind doors he’s entirely different, but I don’t really think someone who ALWAYS bows to fans and those older than him, who bows to a grandma in the middle of a concert, who goes into the crowd to personally meet someone in a wheelchair, who speaks so honestly and earnestly in his vlive’s and more, is truly an asshole.

I can’t attest to it, but Jungkook looks to have the same kind of personality as me to a degree. Extroverted, loud and funny when with people he feels completely comfortable and safe with but shy and awkward when around new people he doesn’t know. Which makes my heart break for him when he just gets such nastiness constantly, because I can’t imagine what it does to his confidence.

This is Jungkook, who looks at Namjoon like he holds the answer to life and the universe.

Jungkook, who finds happiness and comfort from being with Hoseok.

Jungkook, who teases and loves Yoongi unconditionally.

Jungkook, who acts like Seokjin’s real little brother who he raised for years.

Jungkook, who laughs and plays with Jimin and is always there to support him.

Jungkook, who encourages Taehyung and has such similar interests.

He doesn’t deserve to feel guilty for having a life outside of being a puppet for fans, he doesn’t deserve to have to continually apologise for just living and enjoying himself. Jungkook...you grew up before us and I finally feel that you’re embracing who YOU want to be instead of who you think WE want you to be.

All I want...is for Jungkook to simply laugh and smile and be happy without being constantly dragged for the smallest thing he does. It makes my heart hurt to think of him feeling guilty or ashamed because he can’t reach the lofty goals that have been set for him by people sometimes.

[oneboxofmatches]

Hi!!! May I request a HP romantic and friendship matchup on both eras? (Preferably male), thanks in advance! 💞

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, Ravenclaw, and my patronus spirit is swan. Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant and shy at first cause' I dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis, talkative, awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY clumsy, secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over any wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, sarcastic person with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no. 1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), and will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing woman that looks "idealistic" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm eloquent, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic crybaby filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever, even it's a slow burn process. I can be intimidating, sassy, and a douchebag if I receive ends. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, very indecisive, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive or I might break a belonging due to my carelessness). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic person, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams) 𝖺𝗇𝖽 what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity and worse scenarios in real life, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some are too hypocritical.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

Thank you so, so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one (as you can tell by some of the really long answers lol) and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

One of the most beautiful things about Cedric is that although he may show some introverted tendencies, he still manages to have a natural gift for connecting to others and allowing them to feel comfortable enough to open up. Really, your initial distance and shyness don't last nearly as long towards Cedric as they would with most other people.

Hearing your laughter brings the widest, cheesiest grin to Cedric’s face. Not only does he adore seeing you happy, but he also recognizes that your anxiety, insecurities, and strong emotions can sometimes cloud up your demeanor. Therefore, it brings him comfort knowing that (for the moment) you’re finding joy. He thrives when you thrive!

However, as much as he loves seeing your more energetic and happier self, it goes without saying that he’s the best comfort for when you’re not having the best day.

Cedric is an excellent listener, so he’ll most likely let you talk without interruption for as long as you need before even saying a word. He wants to make sure he truly understands your current state before acting. He may take a few seconds to process everything after you finish speaking, but then he’ll help you tackle whatever problems you’re facing. He’s especially talented at giving words of affirmation.

Cedric’s listening also comes in handy whenever you talk about your interests! He genuinely loves hearing about the things you’re interested in solely for the fact that you’re interested in them. Side note: you can count on him to be at any music performances, pageants, etc. you may have -- this guy is truly your #1 supporter.

Cedric’s a very good student (though I suspect he’s somewhat of a procrastinator himself), so I can also see you two supporting each other through schoolwork and celebrating each other’s successes.

Like you, Cedric has a strong urge to do the right thing. Talking to him about social issues stirs up a need to help, and I could see you two doing volunteer work together in your spare time.

I like to believe one of Cedric’s biggest love languages is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, this guy loves staying involved and busy. But taking a couple hours to be with you in small ways (even if that means just being in the same room while you scroll through social media) gives him a nice balance.

Overall, this kind boy will be there unwaveringly through the bad times and will laugh just as loud as you through the good!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD

You wanna talk about the best conversations, relentless support, and overall the most wholesome friendship you could ask for? Luna’s your girl.

Being unashamed to be true to yourself is one of the biggest reasons why Luna is so drawn to you. While she’s very friendly and insightful towards everyone she meets, it can get a bit repetitive for her to constantly interact with people who try to shelter their unique characteristics from the world. In her mind, these unique characteristics are what make people so fascinating! Why should anyone hide who they are?

Luna’s creativity is endless, and I can see it blending well with yours. Collaborating on a personal project outside of school (ex: novel, blog, etc.) together is definitely something I could see you two doing.

Speaking of creativity, finding creative solutions to everyday problems (both in school and in life) is your specialty as friends.

Admittedly, Luna isn’t usually drawn to louder individuals. However, the complexity behind your personality makes it easier for her to know you are much more than what meets the eye.

Speaking of, Luna has a difficult time standing up for herself -- whether it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to or she just doesn’t recognize the meaning behind certain phrases. She NEEDS a friend like you to stand up for her sometimes, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate!

Ranting to Luna is therapeutic to say the least. While her aloofness at times may make it seem as if she isn’t fully paying attention, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s actually catching every word, and once you’re done she’ll leave you with a philosophical solution that may seem borderline insane/irrelevant when you first hear it, but it strangely makes sense.

Overall, the lack of judgment from either of you is what draws you together. As a result, you build a unique bond that couldn’t be broken even if either of you wanted it to.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Let’s be honest, it would take you two so long to ask each other out. You were probably already really close friends, but the insecurities and “what if?” questions from both of you delayed an actual relationship.

When you finally started dating, you were both so relieved. You still share a laugh at how almost nothing changed in the way you interacted with each other.

While with mutual friends, Remus sometimes likes to sit back and just watch you, especially when you get really talkative because this is when you become the most expressive. He has the softest smile when you’re actively cracking jokes, discussing something you’re passionate about, or even calling someone out. Sometimes you may be too distracted to notice, but other times you’ll catch him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” (While that same soft smile never leaves his face.)

You both hold really high standards for yourself in terms of school, so expect late-night study/work sessions to be your best bet for quality time.

Though the occasional instance of walking through/lying on the grounds becomes a favorite for both of you.

Remus listens when you’re particularly struggling through anxiety or strong emotions, but he has to consciously stop himself from interrupting because he can’t stand how he feels knowing you’re going through a tough time.

All he wants to do is soothe you during these moments. If you’re comfortable, he’ll hold you while speaking to you in a soft voice. Remus, the intellectual that he is, is also your best chance at finding a reasonable solution. So if you're not in the mood for calming words, he's also a great person to turn to for answers.

As for your ambitions, no matter what you choose to pursue, you already know Remus is going to be your biggest source of support every step of the way. He’s more than happy to help in any way he can!

Overall, Remus appreciates you, and he’s always going to make sure you know it.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

Lily especially connects to you because you manage to be determined, competitive, and intelligent without sacrificing your kindness, which is something she can relate to.

You and Lily are the C.E.O.s of doing the right thing. Neither of you hesitates to back the other up when it comes to confronting someone because you know it’s justified.

As perceptive as Lily is, you never need to tell her when something is bothering you. All it takes is a quick glance before she puts whatever she’s doing on hold to check in with you.

The reverse works as well. Typically, Lily really doesn’t internally struggle too much, and when she does she tries to hide it. You’re one of the only people who can see right through whatever she tries to pull.

The constant banter between you two is unmatched, but you both know it's because you really care about each other.

Overall, you and Lily have each other’s backs through anything, even when the other isn’t actively asking for help.

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character quirks!

originally this was going to be a list of passive and active character quirks (ex. passive = loves history but knows nothing about it, active = well, everything on this list), but once i started it, i realized that’s not how it works?? all of your quirks and hobbies and loves and hates leave stains on your personality, even in the tiniest ways. so here’s a list of quirks that actively change your character, with simple explanations! and please remember, this is strictly for characters. it is, in one way or another, based in stereotype! and humans aren’t built around stereotype, you are not built around stereotype. 

i don’t write about what I don’t know about, so almost all of this is taken directly from my own self or someone i know :]

only likes cold pizza/raw bagels/the off-brand version of a popular food - can indicate this character is a particular, detail-oriented person, and typically this type of person is not snobbish, but they are stubborn (if you’re looking for something similar to indicate the person is snobbish: they refuse to eat leftovers, wipe grease off their food, shuns fast-food restaurants) 

homeschooled/grew up homeschooled - coming directly from a homeschooler, we get a bad rep! not all homeschoolers are antisocial, extremely religious or have old-fashioned views on society. that being said, homeschoolers tend to act more like their parents and siblings than other kids do, and that’s where those stereotypes tend to stem from. while many homeschoolers are very sociable, it’s common for them to still be more reserved and a little more socially inept than other kids, just from lack of practice. homeschoolers also tend have a strong sense of loneliness, even if they have lots of friends/have graduated, that feeling will stick.

walks along the curb of the street, swinging one foot in front of the other - turning something as minuscule as walking along the side of a road into a silent game shows that they are in their mind a lot, they live in their imaginations. showing them walking normally can indicate that something’s wrong. traits that match with this quirk but aren’t necessary: quiet, optimistic

hates wearing hats/skirts/tights/etc. - a person that hates hats/skirts/tights/whatever is very much comfort before fashion. they’ll tend to not wear fully matching or fitting clothing and this can stem from a fear of change. if someone who openly dislikes wearing hats comes into the room in a beret, it’s change (yes, it can be as small as that. trust me, it took me 2 years to work up the courage to wear a non-formal dress in front of my family.)

always tapping their foot/bobbing their head/patting their leg - this means someone is more musically inclined than others, and it’s almost always subconscious. they probably play multiple instruments, and come from a family of musicians/music-lovers. close friends/family might make fun of them for dancing all the time, or someone might get frustrated when they won’t stop doing it during a serious moment 

zones out easily/can stare at nothing for hours - similar to the person walking on the curb, a character that tends to zone out on nothing for long periods of time is probably daydreaming about the other lives they could lead. they might feel like they’re stuck with the hand they got dealt in life. when things go wrong, they’ll probably get as far away from every person as possible and fantasize about running away and starting it all over. they don’t have to be loners, but they’ll typically feel isolated and different from their friends, maybe not as invested in their friendship as the other person is. 

having stuffed animals - a character, especially outside of young childhood, having stuffed animals can be a sign of their loneliness, the manufactured hug of a friend or soft fur of a pet when they don’t have the real thing nearby. a character with stuffed animals might be more empathetic and sensitive than others, getting upset if someone makes fun of them for it or holding extra tight onto one that fell or got damaged somehow. they also might have childlike fears or simply be more fearful than most, and the stuffed animals might be a sanctuary for them

draws slight attention to themselves in public (listens to music without earbuds, does things that could be done inside [painting, reading, stuff like that] outside, asks a stranger a question to prove their point in a conversation, wears bold clothes, talks loudly, etc.) - while it’s possible for these to just be seen as obnoxious/extroverted quirks, on a deeper level they can imply the character wants something to happen. they want to be seen by strangers. maybe they consume a lot of entertainment (books, tv, movies) and they subconsciously set up their life to be met with question, then a greeting, then a friendship, constantly giving “The One” a chance to appear. 

hates jewelry - fear of being trapped. a necklace feels like being choked, a bracelet feels like being chained down, a ring feels like circulation is cut off, but also take it in a figurative way. by accepting the jewelry, an expensive gift, they’re accepting that someone cares about them/they’re accepting that they have to wear it enough to make up for the cost. it sounds dumb i know but i can tell you from experience this is a very real thing

puts off work to the last second/procrastinates - i’ve really grown to hate that word. they grew up smart, or with an easy workload, and now they refuse to adjust to the updated workload. this one is short but there’s about a million posts on procrastination, and i’m sure there’s a more in-depth one than i could ever do! some ideas for prompts for this quirk is running out of time on something important, someone getting mad at the character for leaving the work until the last minute when they need them, being overworked, having a stress-induced meltdown and a love interest/forming friendship offers to help 

goes through phases rapidly - based on what kind of phases they are, this could show unrest at home for a secondary character. one day they go to MC’s house wearing florals smelling like fabric softener, soft rock music wafting through the air from their cheap earbuds. they’re making clever jokes and urging MC to go on a walk in nature with them. next week, they show up wearing a ragged, wrinkled black t-shirt and they have bags under their eyes, looking like they haven’t showered in five days. they’re being insensitive with their sarcastic cracks and impatient with MC’s reactions, maybe even admitting they didn’t know why they showed up in the first place. obviously that’s a dramatic juxtaposition, but just an idea.

a gentle vandal (carving their initials into old wood, drawing/writing in textbooks, letters to no one put in cheap bottles and thrown into the ocean, underlining passages in books, so on and so forth) - fear of being forgotten, a good romantic partner/close friend of this character would be someone who reminds them they’re not alone in the universe. 

never paints their nails/does their hair/wears extravagant clothes - fear of being seen as “different,” doesn’t want to be noticed by people. probably was bullied when they were young, or they have a family with a Reputation™ to uphold

struggles to accept compliments - a character that struggles with compliments, and basically any positive attention on themselves, would have low self-esteem to begin with. they probably didn’t grow up being seen as “pretty,” or someone made them feel ugly when they were young, regardless of whether it was true or not (example: Cinderella)

tips restaurant employees/delivery people way above the average/gives big gifts for small celebrations - this could mean they grew up in a upper class/upper middle class household and feels guilty for it, or that they grew up in a lower class/working class household and know what it feels like not to get gifts/have extra money. either way, it can give you insight to a character’s past without too much exposition, just a simple line of dialogue after an action. 

always has at least one band-aid on somewhere - this can show that a character is careless with themselves, or maybe that they have a very active mind and force their body to match it (running to write something down and tripping, getting excited about seeing something pretty to sketch in nature and getting scratched by thorns as they tried to reach it as fast as they could, etc.)

wears vintage clothes and/or watches old movies - in the most accurate sense, i think, a character who enjoys these types of things would likely have an old soul, they probably think life should be more exciting than it is, and they’re dissatisfied with the current state of humanity (this doesn’t mean that they have to have an old-fashioned mindset! i wear vintage clothes and one of my favorite movies is meet me in st. louis, but i’m still VERY glad we don’t live like they did. not everything that makes logical sense in life can be drawn together with a bow on top)

i hope this didn’t come off too preachy or anything? i mean, i don’t know shit, i just like writing and characters that make sense, and i feel like i see a lot of character flaw lists that are very.. generalized, and not everything works for every character! obviously you’re free to use any of these, but if you’d like to show me how you used them in your story i’d love to see it!!! feel free to message me any time!

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Yuta’s solo interview with Men’s Nono!

“K-pop” which keeps on surpassing Asia, winning fans all over the world. Men’s nonno invited NCT 127 which consists of multinational members including a Japanese, whose songs, fashion, and overwhelming performance stands out. Following last summer’s article, YUTA’s first single interview has finally happened! Immediately after his performance in his hometown, Osaka, he talked with us thoroughly.

My childhood in Osaka and my encounter with K-POP

What made you want to travel to South Korea and take part in the KPOP world? I always wanted to play soccer in my hometown Osaka. I was the active type when I was a child, always running around with my friends from morning till night. I was playing soccer for my dear life, but during middle school, I started to wonder about my future. During that time, I saw TVXQ on TV, “they’re so cool” I was amazed. Anyhow, their performance was so amazing. I thought I also wanted to become someone like them. I was 14 years old. My mum was a fan so she had their DVD, rather than being advised to do this it was something that flowed naturally.

Were you more interested in KPOP rather than soccer?  Since my older and younger sisters were taking dance classes, music was something really familiar to me. It was something I listened to every day so I feel like I may have already had a base.

What kind of things did you do before jumping into the KPOP world? When I got to Korea I was 16 years old. I passed the audition for SM entertainment, where I belong now, held in Japan and got to go to South Korea as a trainee. I was in a situation where I didn’t understand Korean at all so before I moved there I studied hard, even sticking Korean words in our bathroom walls. 

At what time did you discuss it with your family? Ah, I, auditioned in secret. I told my parents when I passed though, “I want to go to Korea”. My mom was really surprised... then, I saw my dad cry for the first time. I may have been a little lonely because I was going to live away. But I was so focused that I don’t remember much about it. I also didn’t tell my sisters. I was a teenager so I was kind of embarrassed. (laugh) I used to check for auditions in magazines alone. 

So that ability to take action by yourself has finally shown results.  Yes. I think is important to take action by ourselves if there’s something I want to do. But it wasn’t like I was that confident, for the time being, I was trying to challenge myself. Since there was an audition from the company of the group I liked I decided to take it. I was really nervous, actually, I get nervous even now when thinking about it (laugh). It was the start of everything after all. 

The frantic days when I aimed for debut

It is a tough world where not all trainees can debut, right?  Thinking back, I thought “I really want to debut” so singing, dancing, I did my best every day. I was, in many aspects, thinking only about myself. But, after I debuted and experienced this first tour, I realized that we are here thanks to our fans, so I want to show our best performance. Now compared to my trainee days, my way of thinking is completely different. 

Did you take your lessons and learn Korean at the same time? I feel like I learned it naturally during the lessons. At first, I used to talk using a translator app on my phone. Sometimes it was a really weird or screwed up translation, hahahaha. 

It seems that even though you were struggling you maintained a positive attitude.   I’m doing something I like so, of course, there are some bad things but I have fun. Also, I didn’t get homesick at all. I didn’t think about thing like wanting to go home. For, that I’m really grateful.  

Things Yuta has Faced as He's Debuted 

What did you especially work hard on? What I really thought about is was how to express my own thoughts and feelings to others. There are of course many modes of communication but how can I communicate my own feelings while also making sure to respect the opinions of others so that we can work together. It's not about the difference in languages necessarily but how you express or communicate your thoughts and feelings. I think, whether your thoughts come across clearly isn't an issue of whether you can speak a language or not. For music and concerts, I speak with a lot of different and various people while working on the process. You have to make sure that what you want to do is clearly communicated and comes across, but at the same time you have to make sure that you are taking in others' opinions as well. It's a collaborative process, so it's essential that the channels of communication are clear. Did you have to put in a lot of effort outside dance and vocal lessons? Improving my dancing and singing is of course important, but beyond that, learning how to interact with people is very important. Did you also experiment on how to show and express yourself more? I think the most important thing when expressing yourself is that you can't unless you know yourself really well. I think it's the same with fashion as well. When I have the opportunity to work with really impressive creators and artists,  I notice that when I talk to them that they know who they are. If you can't analyze yourself, then you can't show who you are, so it's important initially to think about "how you want to be seen by others and how you are seen by others." I've only just started thinking that way though. After I debuted I would sometimes look at myself objectively and thought "something's a little off, I really want to be seen more in this way but why isn't it coming across like that." I think those experiences are important as well. What do you think is your strength that you've found through this experience? My singing and dancing still have much farther to go, but I want to challenge myself more, and in that sense I think I have "confidence" in those abilities now. I think you gain confidence while building up experience, and if I have confidence, then all that's left is to work hard so that I can show everyone what I can do. Please wait for me with anticipation, is the current feeling I have. What do you find the most rewarding about debuting? I'm still thinking…but I think it's probably getting to perform at concerts. This January we had our first solo concert in Seoul and there was something I really felt. By doing the concert it felt like returning to my roots, and I was able to remember when I first debuted. I think it's been the biggest turning point for us. 

Yuta on NCT 127’s Charms

NCT 127 has been steadily growing their area of activities and their fan base. Our strength is that we constantly challenge are ourselves. On music and fashion, we are opened minded. Our members being multinational is also big. We do talk about wanting to try all the genres and wanting to become a team that can bring about trends. It’s why every time we release a new song, we change our concept completely each time. We never have an instance where we say no to a concept because it doesn’t suit us. Your music continually takes in the latest sounds and it seems almost like you have an antenna to pick things up. That’s also because we are multinational. As we are based in Korea, we pay attention to their music trends and for what’s popular in western music, we ask our American and Canadian members. Various members have different expertise like R&B and hip-hop is Mark while general pop music is Johnny. I can ask about any genre! (😂) I sometimes tell my members about what’s trendy in Japan. It’s such a rewarding environment to be in, that in addition to our great teamwork, it’s so open. The Japanese debut “Chain” is a song that symbolizes that, with the message of “transcending borders to connect”? in the lyrics. That’s true, I performed with the feelings of connecting from Seoul to Tokyo, and to continue that connection beyond to the world. I would love for MEN'S NON-NO readers to listen and also to look at the choreography. While we’re on the topic, what music do you listen to? I listen to a lot of different genres. Rather than considering it work, I just love music. Kanye West, Sam Smith, Bruno Mars....I also listen to Japanese music, I love back number   For Japanese rappers, BAD HOP is my favorite and I recently recommended them to Taeyong, who is in charge of rap. As a group, what is important in terms of finalizing your performances? Teamwork. For instance, if a member is singing at the center and someone on the edge does a flashy move, it can be distracting. We try to be cognizant of not just our own performances, but also the other members’ highlights. We know each other’s high points well and it’s fun because we all have different specialties. What do the other members compliment about you? This is embarrassing haha. I’m told I have a bright personality. They tell me my performance skills are good but they are all kind so......I do get criticized at times though. Our leader Taeyong has great stage presence and will tell me “Yuta, this move should be more like this” or “Maybe try this expression” and I find that helpful. These interactions continue even after finishing a performance and we are constantly fixing things. In my case, I always change the small gestures I do. They are different each and every time. 

Worldwide activities of NCT 127

NCT 127 has made a  lot of buzz with your North American debut, being on the Jimmy Kimmel live show, and an exclusive invitation to the Mickey Mouse's 90th-anniversary celebration concert in Asia. You were the first Asian artist to be featured on Apple Music Up Next, and at the American Music Awards, various celebrities posted pictures with you on social media. It's been a really exciting experience. To think that I would go from Japan to Korea, only to perform in America….I would have never imagined. It was great to see that our music has been accepted in various places, and I also got to study the differences in culture. But, the fans' feelings are the same no matter what country we are in. Even if the way they bop to music can be slightly different. Oh, and English is difficult. Even if I learn the phrases, pronunciation is a struggle. Before recording, I go to the members who speak English to learn from them. I'll tell them "say it super slowly!" and record them as a voice memo on my phone so I can listen to it multiple times (haha). Japanese is the easiest to put my feelings into singing, but I'm enjoying the experience of singing in different languages. In the future, I would love to have activities in even more different countries. For your first Japan tour, what is something you want people to pay attention to? I'd love for people to pay attention to everything (haha), but the slightly acrobatic performances. We practiced really hard for those! Oh and our music generally has a strong dance performance image, but this time we have songs from medium tempo to straight ballads. We changed our style for the different songs so please enjoy that. 

Expressing Yourself through Fashion

Since it is a MENS NON-NO interview, let’s move on to fashion. Here it comes~ (haha). I often wear a bucket hat in my casual attire. I wear them when I’m dancing as well and they’ve become a bit of a trademark for me. On my style, either I’ll be dancing or in front of the mirror and striking a pose, before deciding if an outfit works on me. No matter how cool or stylish an outfit is, if I’m moving and I feel like “this isn’t me” then it doesn’t feel right. I’m sure you have opportunities to wear luxury brand items, but have you found favorites? Lately, it has been neon colors! My sneakers today are neon, but I want to challenge myself more. They stand out onstage, and I think I look good in them (haha). What do you want to wear heading towards the spring season? An over-size coat. I'd like to wear one that's a bit large. I turn 24 this year so I'm thinking of going with a more relaxed mature style with a wet hairstyle. Oh, I'll read Mens Nonno for this (haha) What are the differences between performances and fashion jobs like today's shoot? I think they're pretty connected. When I look at people who are really stylish or fashionable and I think "wow~ that's an artist."  Building a performance and coordinating a style is quite similar in my opinion. Both express your sense of style and emotions, which makes them personal. In a fashion shoot, that moment when you pull off a perfect pose or facial expression is really similar to dancing. Is there anything that you would like to ask the MEN'S NON-NO audience? I'd like to ask what everyone does for the when they coordinate their outfits. For me, I had a moment of inspiration today where I thought "ah I should  wear a ring with this." I started wondering how people come to such conclusions, and I found the idea very interesting, since it depends on each and every person I'm sure.

Your future goals and dreams

Now that you’re making your dreams come true, what are your future goals? I want to do concerts in bigger venues, even tour all 47 prefectures! I want to give back more to the people who’ve been waiting for us. I sometimes struggle with not being able to articulate what I want to say at the moment. I’ll think later “ah why couldn’t I just say this?” I want to lessen those instances while traveling from Hokkaido to Okinawa.   Lastly, what would you say to your 16 yr old self who’d made the decision to go to Korea from Japan? Worry your heart out, it’ll help you grow.

Translation: Eri, Leda @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Men’s Nonno — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[angeltriestoblog]

Second sem (and freshman year) recap

It’s pretty hard to believe, but another chapter of my college journey is finally over and done with. Since I had ended the first half of the school year in such high spirits, I didn’t really believe upperclassmen when they warned that things were only going to get harder from there. In fact, I even thought I’d be the one to prove them wrong! I mean, with a class schedule that looked like this, how would I run out of time for all the things I both needed and wanted to do? My Tuesdays and Thursdays were practically free, save for that one Math class I had to attend in the morning that I surprisingly never cut.

For the most part of the semester, I was in a chill state compared to everyone else. I claimed that I had successfully adjusted to the demands of higher education to the point where I found what once was an unreasonable workload to be manageable. I was able to make time for my home org’s activities and devote enough attention to the only project I was deployed to, which I touched on a bit in my first recap blog post (linked here in case you want to jog your memory). As previously mentioned, I was assigned as one of the Documentations Heads under the Information Management department of the Career Building Program, a three-phase event that gives its participants a glimpse into the corporate world. We kicked things off with a resume writing workshop that I was lucky enough to join. The facilitator assigned to me gave useful insights that I was able to apply in the creation of my own curriculum vitae, which I am keen on using when it’s my turn to apply for internships and jobs in the future. I obviously don’t have much on it yet, seeing as I’m just a freshman, but the idea of filling it up with more experiences over the years is exciting me in ways I cannot explain.

Our group was even given the opportunity to explore the studio of the country’s biggest network, where we were briefed by executives in communications and IT and toured around the sets of our favorite shows. We even ran into Luis Manzano while he was filming Minute to Win It! Unfortunately, I wasn’t scouted by any representative from Star Magic and spontaneously put in a love team with Donny Pangilinan, but I guess that’s alright.

I also went to Talent Night with some friends (not in pictures: Gela's boyfriend and ICA barkada), which is shocking since I’m honestly not the type to attend parties like this. I’ve always been the girl who stayed home and binge watched YouTube videos on a Friday night. But, I guess the drunk confidence of those I was with rubbed off on me and I managed to pull through! It was also a plus that Timmy Albert was one of the performers: I do pass him by along the corridors quite frequently, but it’s just different seeing him sing and play an instrument in front of a crowd, especially since I’ve loved Roses and Sunflowers even before I got into Ateneo.

One surprise that I definitely did not see coming was participating in Daloy, our annual program that revolves around corporate social responsibility. This year, we decided to shed a light on how this could be seen in the Philippine clothing industry, so it seemed fitting to hold some talks featuring prominent figures in this field, as well as a fashion show to exhibit the collections of local brands that advocated sustainability. I was really interested in the concept when I first heard of it, and initially wanted to go as a mere audience member - little did I know that I would be tapped by the committee to model! To this day, I don’t know how or why I was chosen: from what I know, there were even screenings held a week prior to the event to determine who would get to walk the runway. But, I was messaged three days before and in that short span of time, I had to fit clothes, find pieces in my closet to match them and perfect my walk (which took several tries on my part, given the fact that when shy, I’m stiff as a board).

Agreeing to join was a huge step out of my comfort zone - the closest I’ve ever come to strutting on a catwalk was back when family members would ask me to “walk like a fashion model” as a kid during reunions. So, the fact that it had all paid off in the end, and that I was even complimented for the way I looked and performed beyond what was probably expected, was definitely a huge confidence boost for me. I couldn’t have done it without Nelly, Daloy’s project head who patiently guided me through the entire process before the show.

Shoutout as well to the other ACTM upperclassmen who were so friendly to me this school year. We may not have any pictures together, but you deserve a spot on this post nevertheless: Gella, my "boss" (hehe) who was always so patient when I asked questions and even went out of her way to say such kind words about my writing; Sam Que who made me feel like we had already known each other for so long even if we had just talked for the first time, and Ysagab who constantly reassured me that I was doing a good job even if I was looking like such a rookie.

My presence in events wasn’t limited to those of ACTM, though. I also went to the Loyola Film Circle’s Under the Stars, where I was able to see the live performances of OPM acts and watch one of my favorite chick flicks beneath the beautiful night sky. Since it took place the day after Valentine’s, I was surrounded by Ateneans and their significant others (who didn’t hold back at all when it came to publicly displaying their affection), but I didn’t even mind since I was content in the company of both my college constants and high school friends.

I dropped by Sulyap as well, which was the culminating activity of the Ateneo Heights Writers Workshop and the launch of the chapbook of their fellows. It was one of the busiest Fridays of the school year, but I still made it a point to go, because I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to be a part of something organized by my dream org, Ateneo’s premier literary publication. As much as I love my course and the people in it, I have to admit that I haven’t been able to exercise much of my creative side. So being in a room full of like-minded individuals and hearing them speak lengthily about their works and the process that brought them to life was a refreshing experience, a much-needed break from the usual routine. My personal favorite was Unica Hijas by Mikaela Regis, which revolved around a lesbian couple trying to make their relationship work despite the fact that they study in a conservative, all-girls high school - a setting which is all too familliar to me.

It’s also worth noting that I was sorta able to tick a particular item off my freshman year bucket list. And I say sorta, because… well, you’ll see. It’s been a dream of mine ever since to watch a UAAP basketball game live, show up to the arena in a bright blue shirt, cheer as loud as I can when a player makes a point and raise my fist in the air while Song for Mary plays in the background. But, even if I’m consistently in school by 6am, I was never able to get tickets - I couldn’t match the efforts of some fans, who would camp overnight just to get their hands on them. But, just when I thought there was no more chance for me to show my school pride at a match, my friend Mika offered me a free ticket to the Ateneo Lady Eagles’ volleyball match against FEU at the Filoil Arena one Wednesday. We weren’t really on speaking terms before because we were from different cliques, but after bonding over K-Pop, I saw how nice and chill of a person she actually is. So, I didn’t want to turn her down even if I was hesitant to go at first. You see, I was never a fan - in fact, I didn’t know how the game went despite the PE lessons I had back in Grade 5. (Ms. Abella, if you see this, I’m sorry.) But, it didn’t take a lot of convincing for me to agree and I ended up enjoying way more than I thought I would. Fortunately, I was able to catch on when it came to the rules of the sport: the energy of the crowd was contagious as well, and the performance of the players was way too good it was impossible not to shout either out of triumph or frustration. Once we made it to the finals against UST, I even found myself waiting for announcements on where to buy tickets. I didn’t get any though, because they were either sold out due to the ever-increasing demand (ALE fans don’t play around) or there was a conflict in schedule (hi, Enlit play).

Despite this, I streamed the last game and screamed like I was actually in the venue myself. Apologies to all our neighbors, who probably thought someone was getting killed in the house beside theirs. I was so proud when they brought home the championship after three years, I even bought a Team Ateneo shirt (it’s not that hard to guess whose name is on the back) and went to the bonfire with my friends Gwen, Julia and Lou. I had hoped to meet and take a picture with the players, but they were already far too wasted when I arrived. Like, seriously. I saw Maddie Madayag chug a whole bottle of Mule right before my eyes.

So, you could say that it was all fun and games (quite literally) for me until hell weeks eventually rolled in. Plural form intended. I found out that all my professors were just holding back every major requirement until the very last stretch of the semester. Suddenly, my schedule was chock full of presentations and final papers, comprehensive exams and extra classes that put my time management and endurance to the test. I spent many days in Matteo Down just like before, but also started going to the floor above it in case I wanted to suffer in the company of more people. The studying would only continue once I got home: I’d pull all-nighters despite my brain’s and skin’s desperate cries for help, as manifested in my worsening acne. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that stressed in my life, and it’s scary to think that that’s only the tip of the iceberg in the Ateneo.

Coping mechanisms I’ve picked up to help me deal with these unavoidable circumstances would be trying every restaurant along the Katipunan area whenever I had free time (which I will elaborate on more extensively in another blog post, so do watch out for that!) and eventually discovering Pancake House’s corned beef hash, which I love so much I once had it thrice in the span of a week. Another one would be the addition of yet another emotional support K-Pop boy to my collection. After watching My ID is Gangnam Beauty over Holy Week break, I fell in love with Cha Eunwoo and his god-tier visuals, mild demeanor, impressive English skills and heartfelt determination. This led me to binge watching reality show episodes and furiously putting the entire discography of Astro on loop. If you look at my Last.fm, you could see how Crazy Sexy Cool easily climbed to the top of my most played songs, sitting prettily at the #1 spot with over 300 plays in just a little over two months.

Although I constantly had to bear the pressure and stress on my shoulders over the past academic year, I am eternally grateful to Ateneo for equipping me with lessons both within and beyond the realm of academics that have helped me grow into someone I never imagined, but am happy to have turned into anyway. When my naive and starry-eyed self first entered college, I had such high hopes for what my experience would be and proceeded to map out the next four years of my life in accordance with the vision I had in my head. Having just broken free from the metaphorical chains of my previous school, I found it to be the perfect time to transform into a student who excelled academically, had a long and winding list of extracurricular activities and easily built a vast network of connections thanks to her pleasing and magnetic personality. If I got lucky, maybe I’d have one of those so-called “college blooms” and even get myself an actual boyfriend!

This isn’t something unique to me, I bet a lot of people entered this new stage of their lives with the same mindset so I wasn’t the only one in shock upon realizing that it doesn’t always play out that way in real life. Because of these ridiculous expectations we have implanted in our heads, that basically state that we have to be successful in everything we do and fast, we subconsciously keep ourselves from enjoying the process. In our desire to aim high and aspire for perfection in all that we do, we could end up failing to acknowledge the small yet equally important wins we gain along the way: the friend we make outside of our block despite the sheer discomfort we experience in meeting new people, or the answer we gave in class that impressed our most intimidating professor could appear minuscule when placed beside our goal of being straight-A student who’s active in seven orgs. In addition, we deprive ourselves of the allowance to make mistakes, stray from taking the detours and breaks we need to remain functional human beings and often drive ourselves to the point of fatigue and burnout. And when we are still not flourishing and thriving as planned, we fall prey to toxic comparison: we pit ourselves against others who don’t have the same background or circumstances as we do and question why our progress doesn’t match with theirs.

This is obviously such a toxic way to go about things. Talk about sucking the fun out of what’s supposed to be the four most enjoyable years of our lives. Thankfully, over time, I did some growing up, if you will, and channeled the power of acceptance - both of what I am and what I am not, and the will of God (or whichever supreme being you've placed your faith in) who meticulously planned out what’s ahead of me before I was even old enough to know what school was. I now work to the best of my ability, confident that all I have to do is put in my share of the hard work and see where it takes me, and am also more gentle with myself when I make mistakes.

On a somewhat lighter note, I’ve also been able to form my own opinions about very controversial issues on campus: an example of which would be what I think is the best CR - the answer is definitely Arete. You can’t go wrong with its triple killer combo of aircon, bidet and strong WiFi connection. The only possible downside could be the fact that there are usually a lot of people, so it’s not the best option if you’re planning on being loud and… um, smelly. The secluded and fragrant Leong Hall and ever-reliable New Lib restrooms come in second and third place respectively, while honorable mentions include the 2F Kostka CR (but only from 6:00-7:00am, when no one else is around) and this one specific stall in the Socsci building that's spacious enough that I can bring all my belongings inside with me.

Another point for discussion would be the superior place to eat on school grounds: this might cause an uproar, I’m aware, but I still believe it’s JSEC, despite the stark price difference compared to other cafeterias on campus. I was set on trying something from every stall before the school year ended, but I was too fixated on my top picks: I don’t have any regrets though. In fact, I wish I had more of the beef salpicao with calamares on the side from Casa Paella, the Superbowl from Blendabowls and The Coop fries with garlic aioli served on the side. Besides the fact that the food served is satisfying beyond measure, I enjoy the chit-chats I have with the ates and kuyas manning the stalls, who never fail to ask me how I am and tell me about the cute chinito boys they see on campus that they think I might like.

Although I can’t completely rule out Gonzaga, because of this particular stall with quality liempo and a kuya who always gives me a five peso discount. (I’ve been told he does this with girls he finds cute, but I have yet to confirm that). Also, it’s the only place on campus that I know of that sells fresh fruits by the kilo - perfect for those days when I try to convince myself to go on a diet before I relapse and binge eat at Pancake House.

A lot of people do say that ISO sisig is worth the cross-campus walk it’ll take to get there (e-jeep rides are more recommended! An experience in itself! Especially if you’re seated in the back, where there’s a constant feeling of being sucked in a vacuum! But, I digress) - it might just be a matter of preference, but I think it’s overrated. A destination that deserves more attention is the Cervini Hall cafeteria just by the university dormitories. I’ve only been there a grand total of two times so I don’t exactly have any specific favorites on the menu that I recommend, but I’d definitely still go for the homey ambience.

As for superior study places, Matteo Down has been tried and tested several times: I do prefer getting a place opposite to the entrance though, because it does get distracting having to see people enter and go out the door so often. What was supposed to be a study session often ends up becoming a game to see how many people are wearing a striped shirt today. I usually spend time on the fourth floor of the Rizal Library, and get the couch as often as I can because of the comfort (and charger) it provides.

Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to power through this year without the help of my closest friends: Sevi, Gwen, Raya and Christine. I always had this nagging fear in the back of my head that I wouldn’t be able to find a tight-knit group once I got to college, but thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for letting me be my true self, for entertaining even my most random thoughts and for accepting all the kalat that comes with being my friend. I sincerely hope that we stay together and have more Gino’s dates in the future along with Chloe!

To Gela, Jill, Shar (and Dom, but we don’t have any pictures together except for the last one HAHAHA) - I didn’t expect at all that I’d be writing about you guys. I was so intimidated by all of you at first, because I felt like we were so different in terms of our upbringing and environment. But after getting to know you, I came to realize that you are seriously some of the most down-to-earth, chill people ever. Thank you for always providing quality chismis, volunteering to find me chinito boys to date and giving me apps to make my IG stories look cuter.

To the rest of X1, we weren’t exactly the most united and we knew that - it’s just that we were probably the most diverse out of all the groups in our batch, and with that comes clashing personalities and differing opinions and interests. But, nevertheless, I am content with the time we managed to spend together, where I was able to get to know all of you!

To the friends that I made outside of my block (and even my course), thank you for laughing at my jokes and telling me that I'm fun to talk to. Hopefully, we get to hang out more and maybe even have common classes in the future hehe

To my Enlit section, we barely spoke to one another during the first semester so I fell under the impression that you were all stoic and no fun to be with. But, I was proven wrong eventually. I wish I was able to talk to more people in LL, but to the classmates I was closest to (Dootie, Cyrah, Czarina, She and Jessa), I will never forget our side comments and mini-rant sessions. I heard we’re having another English subject come sophomore year, and I really hope I end up with you guys again.

All in all, there is no other word that could sum up the experience that was my freshman year in college better than “adventure”. It was every single emotion on the spectrum All At Once, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world - in fact, during the first half of the semester, I admit that I’d entertain thoughts of alternate universes where I’d be an Iska/Lasallista/Tomasino out of sheer curiosity, but now I just can’t imagine myself anywhere else. Anyway, enough with all that drama. I’m going back to school in three weeks to start my summer term, which we fondly (lmao) refer to as intersession. So, there’s technically nothing to miss.

Hope the rest of you enjoy the summer break that I unfortunately will not be able to experience until I graduate from college! Wishing you nothing but love and light, always.

Angel

[maevworldny]

Mornings Around Here: With our cover stars Shelby and Lyria

Welcome back to our series on morning routines where we highlight women around the city and talk to them about what their morning routines look like with their dog. No two mornings are alike and they shouldn’t be! A lot of people hope that dogs will help to bring routine and structure into our lives, to bring joy into mornings, to get up early, to lounge a little longer - whatever it is, it’s your sacred ritual. It’s designed to fit your life and your dogs’s. We’re just here to show how many different faces it can take on.

This week, we chatted with our cover girl Shelby about life in New York with her amazingly calm and confident rescue Lyria. When we met them on set, it quicky became clear their relationship is pure magic. Honestly honored to have them in our shoot and to know them as poeple in our lives. Let’s get into it.

Shelby and Lyria

“Lyria compliments my interior aesthetic, funny enough. My whole apartment is white and pink and so is she.”

How long have you been in New York?

I’ve been living in New York City for almost ten years, which kind of feels like forever.

You’re an interior designer here in the city. Can you tell us a bit about how you got into that and what the day to day is like?

I moved to the city to attend interior design school at the fashion institute. It was a very rigorous but rewarding program which prepared me for the “real world” of design. When I graduated, I worked at a small hospitality design firm of five and traveled abroad a lot designing hotels in Paris and Berlin. I stayed at the firm for less than a year because the hours were insane. Since then I’ve been on the in-house interiors team at a large coworking firm. The firm I’m at is incredible with some of the most innovative minds I’ve come across in New York. It’s been wonderful and because of the fast pace of projects I’ve been able to see twelve projects that I designed come to life in the last three and a half years.

What do you love most about what you do?

I love watching people’s reactions to my designs. When people move into the spaces I created, hearing them express awe and wonder over my work is the most rewarding. Being able to play a part in how people live and work, and making a difference in people’s day to day lives is the best.

Interior design requires a pretty creative mind - where do you go when you’re looking for inspiration in both your professional and personal life? 

When I’m craving a dose of creativity I usually end up at a used book store. Vintage books on architecture and interiors are so cool. Right now I’m really into 80s interiors. Truly, everything comes back into style after enough time has passed - kind of like fashion.

You told us on set that you love monochromatic looks and looser fitting clothing. What’s your style inspiration and how has your style evolved over time?

My style has gone through so many weird phases. In college I was a bit of a hippie and only wore massive grandma sweaters and floor length skirts. That eventually transformed into the typical all black New York ensemble. From that I really dove into menswear, inspired by an ex of mine who owned a skate shop and was constantly giving me old clothes. Lately I’m super into monochromatic looks, it’s easy to create a daily uniform that way. Currently really digging the all brown carhartt vibes. I stick to shopping in the men’s section, I think that habit is with me for life now.

We were lucky enough to meet Lyria on set and she is honestly the chillest, calmest dog. So chill in fact, that she was willing to sit in a tote bag on the subway on the way to the shoot despite not being a compact size whatsoever. When did you first decide to get a dog and how did you go about that process?

I’ve grown up with dogs in my family my whole life. I’ve always known I wanted to get a dog someday but knew I had to have enough space and enough money to care for a living creature. Let’s be real, having a dog in New York is basically like having a small child. I am fortunate enough to have found an amazing apartment in Brooklyn that I can afford on my own. Once I settled into my spot and saved up money for a while, I went to an adoption event for Pupstarz rescue in Union Square. I had sent in my information and was preapproved to adopt. I had my eye on a tiny chihuahua until I got there and saw Lyria. And that was it! I knew she was going to be mine.

I called Lyria the chillest dog ever. Is that accurate or was that all for show that day? How would you describe her personality?

Lyria has so much personality. She’s super chill around new people, every time I have friends over they’re always shocked by how mellow and zen she is. However, whenever we are alone she’s her true self. She follows me everywhere and has a case or two of the zoomies every day - especially if I give her a bone. She won’t chew it for at least a half hour because she spends that time running around it like a maniac. When she gets really excited it’s my favorite thing to watch.

Lyria is a really unique name. What was the inspiration behind it?

Lyria was given a name by the rescue, Leria. Her foster mom was calling her Elinor, which I didn’t think suited her. I researched into the name Leria, apparently it’s the name of a minor character in Star Wars. I liked the name a lot but not the spelling, so I changed the E to a Y. It really suits her but is tricky to enunciate to new people.

I have to say, you guys are a perfect fit - you just make sense together. In what ways do you think the two of you complement one another?

Lyria best compliments my interior aesthetic, funny enough. My whole apartment is white and pink and so is she. It was meant to be!! On a more serious note, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. Lyria has been instrumental in my mental health journey. She is always by my side, ready to walk or play or just take a nap. She’s always thrilled when I come home, she’s a loyal companion. She compliments me in every way, I couldn’t ask for a better match.

Lyria’s not a tote bag dog by any measure. What’s been the hardest part of having her with you in New York City? 

The hardest part of having her in the city is the inability to just walk into stores and shop or go into a restaurant and eat. Mobility is a huge issue, and people are still hesitant of her breed. We spend so much time wandering around, and I wish I could take her more places and expose her to more things. Unfortunately, New York isn’t very dog friendly. Taking her on the train is a whole process, and there are very few places she can attend with me that aren’t completely dog centered.

What are some of your favorite activities to do together on weekends or when you have a bit more time on your hands?

I love getting her together with her best friend, Ruby. Ruby is also a pit mix rescue and the two of them run around the apartment like wild banshees. I also like bringing her to the Brooklyn Cider House or Sage because she can meet new people and be exposed to new things. We also participate in a neighborhood “pack walk” called the Bushwick Dog Pack. There are a lot of rescues who need socialization and doing a pack walk exposes them to other dogs in a safe environment. We also spend a lot of time at a local park in the summer. I bring a big blanket and a book and Lyria immediately knows it’s time to chill and enjoy the sunshine. We spend hours in that park just chilling.

What time do the two of you wake up every morning?

We wake up between 7am and 10am. Usually more around the 7am mark.

Are you guys early birds or night owls?

We are night owls, mostly because I’m not a morning person. But the best thing is she doesn’t ask me to have long conversations in the morning - makes being a morning person easier.

Does she sleep in your bed?

Yes! She sleeps in my bed. It’s the best. I think she thinks my bed is actually her bed.

What's the first thing you do every day? 

The first thing I do every day is rub her belly. She likes to be woken up that way and it’s such a calm, happy start to a day. 

And what's the first thing you two do together every day?

The first thing we do together everyday is eat breakfast and take a walk. We have a good routine down, it helps her to understand if it’s a work day and I’m leaving for a while, or if it’s a weekend and we are gonna have more time to hang together.

What's for breakfast?

I usually have a coffee and that’s it.. not a huge breakfast person. She eats dog food and I drizzle salmon oil on it if I’m feeling lazy. If not she gets chicken too.

Walk before or after breakfast?

We walk after breakfast. If she doesn’t eat prior, she is more keen on the Brooklyn street snacks people leave around

What do you listen to while getting ready for the day?

I usually listen to podcasts while I’m getting ready. It’s a chill way to get my mind started before work.

Healthiest morning habit: 

Healthiest morning routine would probably be the walking aspect. I like to have a quick coffee and be out the door.

Worst morning habit: 

Worst morning habit is the no breakfast part, I’m sure

One word to describe your mornings:

 My mornings are quick and routine. Not much changes during the weekday. On a weekend it’s better because we go on extensive walks and stop at a local coffee shop, Brooklyn Kava, and take our sweet time doing nothing in particular.

I never leave home without…

If I’m with her I never leave home without training treats. They’re an integral part of her perfect behavior ;). If it’s just me I never leave home without headphones. Nothing like a sunny walk listening to good music.

If you had one extra hour in the morning, how would you use it?

If I had an extra hour in the morning I’d sleep in.

The best part of mornings with my dog is: 

The best part of my morning with Lyri is first waking up, being warm and cozy under the covers and snuggling. She’s the best snuggler.

Our morning routine series is designed to showcase the diversity of experiences that come with having a dog in the city in all the ups and all the downs.

If you and your dog would like to be featured, text ‘ritual’ to 29071

[biofunmy]

Netflix’s “Cheer” Shows How Transformative Cheerleading Can Be

Courtesy Of Netflix / Courtesy of Netflix

The American cheerleader is an exhausted cliché. She’s the popular girl, the tan girl, the blonde girl, the skinny girl, and almost always the white girl. She’s a queen bee. She’s straight, and her boyfriend plays football. She’s not particularly smart. She generally has money. And her status as a cheerleader is mostly for show: an opportunity to wear a costume that announces, over and over again, her place in the social hierarchy. She’s Hayden Panettiere in Heroes, Kirsten Dunst in Bring It On, Minka Kelly in Friday Night Lights, Ali Larter in Varsity Blues, Kristy Swanson in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, the majority of the female cast of Saved by the Bell and Glee, and any number of supporting characters across film and television over the last 50 years.

Like all stereotypes, that image of the American cheerleader is periodically challenged (Gabrielle Union’s squad in Bring It On) and subverted (But I’m a Cheerleader) or turned into the backdrop for a noir-ish murder mystery (Dare Me). But the cliché has proven stubbornly resilient. When people find out I spent my teen years as a cheerleader, they sometimes react with a disbelief I find quietly insulting: You, a cheerleader? I think they mean it as a compliment. But all kinds of people become cheerleaders, for all kinds of reasons and all kinds of rewards. If you don’t get that, you haven’t been paying attention — or watching Cheer.

The new six-part documentary, now airing on Netflix, follows a super-elite squad of cheerleaders at Navarro College, a junior college in Texas, as they train to defend their title at the national cheerleading championship in Daytona Beach, Florida. And the first thing that drew me to Cheer was the familiar, simple promise of watching elite cheerleaders on their journey from “very, very good” to “the best.”

Every cheerleader of a certain age knows that the best cheerleading movie is not Bring It On, but the VHS of the national competitions you taped off ESPN and watched on repeat: at squad sleepovers, but also by yourself, dreaming of a basket toss that went that high and hit that crisp. What mattered about those high school and college cheerleaders I watched competing wasn’t that they were cool, or hot, or rich. They were just good. When they were disarticulated from their social setting, I saw in them what I saw, or at least hoped to see, in myself: discipline, skill, and strength. Their beauty wasn’t in their faces (which I couldn’t even see, since this was pre-HD, and the camera essentially did not move) but their synchronization, which felt at once pulsing and alive and mechanically precise.

And there were boys on those squads! No boys would dare cheer at my school, for all the old-fashioned reasons you would expect. Watching a really good all-girls squad is hypnotic, but watching a co-ed one feels like a revelation, like the full expression of the sport: This is what cheerleading could look like, like firecrackers exploding one after the other.

Cheerleading, like any sport, can beat you up and string you along with the promise of glory, but it can also be deeply transformative.

If the “plot” of Cheer — who will make it “on mat” (the performing team) at the championships? — were all it had to offer, I’m sure the series would still find its audience. But Cheer does something much more expansive and even more compelling. It shows the darkness and levity, the devotion to individual and group perfection, that has accompanied the evolution of cheerleading from glee clubs with pom-poms to a fiercely competitive sport.

To do that, the series opens a door to the individual lives of the cheerleaders on the Navarro squad — their pasts, their families, and the various pressures that surround them on and off the mat, largely from adults with seemingly little mind to their long term health or livelihoods. Gabi became a cheerleading celebrity as a tween but now has to deal with her family’s attempts to monetize her career; Jerry is desperate to make it to mat but is also still grieving the death of his mother; Morgan, effectively parentless, is so desperate to please her coach that she ignores her injuries.

Cheer also gives viewers a front-row seat to the process of perfection. Over the course of dozens of practices, you see the team’s members, in the peak athletic condition of their life, left panting on the ground. It shows concussion after concussion — ice baths and bruised ribs and broken elbows. The athletic trainers are characters as much as the cheerleaders. You can hear the sound of every single basket toss, bone against bone, flesh against the mat. The literal impact of cheer becomes a visceral, shared experience.

“When you give yourself over — not just to a sport, but a group of people — then if and when it works out, the joy you must feel must be something incredible,” Greg Whiteley, one of the directors of Cheer, told me. “You could draw on a Venn diagram: the higher the pain, the higher the workload, the more trust and the more of you that is required, the greater the joy.”

What popular depictions of cheerleading have always, at least until recently, seemed to miss is that cheerleading, like any sport, can beat you up and string you along with the promise of glory, but it can also be deeply transformative. It can change lives the same way that soccer, or football, or basketball, or even math team can change lives. Cheerleaders have known this for decades. Cheer just makes it impossible for other people to deny.

Netflix

La’Darius (in front) and the men of the Navarro College squad during practice in Episode 1 of Cheer.

My mom didn’t want me to be a cheerleader. But in my small North Idaho town, I saw no other choice. In junior high, everyone I knew did some sport, and for the girls, the only available options were volleyball and basketball (I was hopeless at both) — and cheerleading. I’d taken dance for years, but never in a way I’d call serious. My major selling point, as cheer material, was my left front hurdler. But I was a middle-of-the-road prospect: a solid base, a fine jumper, an OK dancer, as were most others on the squad.

Back then, at least where I was, there was no such thing as “club” cheerleading — the private teams, run out of tumbling gyms, that now serve as the true training grounds for competitive cheer. But our squad tried the best we could to professionalize ourselves: by watching videos, by reverse engineering new stunts. We ran “private practices” in the cafeteria with no supervision. We made it up, essentially, as we went. We weren’t good, but we were a squad, and being part of it made me feel like I had found some sort of footing amid the constantly shifting social ground of junior high. Sure, it would’ve been nice if there was a way to find that in an activity that didn’t involve wearing a short skirt for seemingly no reason. But we don’t always get to decide what options are available to us.

I don’t have clear memories of cheering at games, but I do remember those practices. And that’s what Cheer communicates so strongly: Cheerleading may have developed as part of the infrastructure of men’s sporting events, a literally sidelined form of (feminine) spectacle, but it has gradually disarticulated itself from that relationship. Now, at least in the competitive world, cheerleaders and their feats of athleticism are their own main event. The team they’re ostensibly cheering for becomes little more than a name on the uniform.

The thing that excited me most about the prospect of high school cheerleading was that there was just so much more of it. More practices, more cheers, more dances, more stunts, more games, more traveling, more cheerleaders on the squad — and much higher expectations. The best girl on the squad had a toe-touch jump so effortless it felt like she was floating. She and the other tumblers would fling themselves down the field every time the football team scored a touchdown, and I’d beam with pride.

This girl, whom I’ll call Katie, had grown up as a star at the local gymnastics gym, left it behind with puberty, and then returned to the closest thing to gymnastics that didn’t involve that gym and the slimy coach who ran it. Like Lexi, the peroxide-blonde, preternaturally talented tumbler in Cheer — who dropped out of high school, got into violent fights, and at one point ended up in jail — Katie hung out with what parents like to call “a bad crowd.” She had an older boyfriend; she snuck cigarettes; she was bored by school and struggled to keep her GPA high enough to stay on the squad. She also did all of our hair and makeup before games with the skill of a trained cosmetologist. Sometimes, we’d worry that she’d forgotten we had a game — this was before cellphones, when it was difficult to track people down — but she’d always show up, just in time, ready to fly into the air.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder why Katie never quit: Cheerleading was so at odds with the rest of her posture toward the world and the sort of people she surrounded herself with. But I think it gave her something she wasn’t getting anywhere else, something she wanted to return to again and again, even if it was simply that feeling of performing mastery. Katie wasn’t from a rich family. She wasn’t popular. She was just the best.

My family was upper-middle-class, and another girl on the squad lived in a gorgeous pop-up mansion. But the vast majority of cheerleaders I knew came from modest homes, with modest means. Their parents were teachers and mill workers and cops. We put on a few car washes to help pay for our Kaepa cheer shoes and the cost of cheer camp in the summer, but the school paid for everything else.

Contemporary cheerleading is not cheap, and like almost all other American sports, it has become increasingly privatized, complete with gym memberships, travel teams, and private coaches. Access is still severely curtailed by class. But also like every other American sport, the people who actually do it, whether on their school squads or with a program at Navarro, are far more diverse in race and background than popular representations suggest.

“There’s the uniforms, which are insanely expensive — even just the cost of those bows are ridiculous,” Whiteley told me. “But if you have a unique skill, the gym will find a way to get you on a team and keep you on a team. And those types of people really run the gamut.” That’s part of how students like Jerry, whose mother died of cancer when he was in high school, and La’Darius, who was placed in foster care with his four brothers, made it onto the Navarro team with more solidly middle-class kids like Gabi and Allie. Lexi says at one point that she’s never paid a cent in tuition over 13 years of cheerleading — the gyms just wanted her tumbling skills.

At the semi-competitive high school level, cheerleading was a way to center myself in the flow of my life. It provided schedule and rigor; it forced me to collaborate with others, to push myself, to be on, to show up — not just because I was supposed to, but because if I didn’t, others would suffer. Of course, there’s a point at which practice and conditioning and scheduling can blot out all other components of the highly scheduled teen’s life. But for many of the cheerleaders at Navarro, cheer provides order where there was none, a path through what was a disorienting blank space.

Netflix

Lexi in Episode 4 of Cheer.

The Navarro squad venerates their coach, Monica Aldama, in part because she’s tough, but also because she’s predictable and reliable. Her rules don’t change. She sets her expectations high, and the members of her squad find themselves rising to meet them. They dedicate themselves to her, but also to each other: No stunt can work without someone to throw in the air, someone to hold you, someone to catch you if you fall. The cult of individuality is so strong in America that that kind of collective trust, of legitimate and unwavering support, can be so alien that it feels corny to describe. But it’s not corny. It’s just actual community.

It’s pretty easy to imagine a version of Cheer where that isn’t the case: where the competition to make it to mat tears the team apart, where confessional interviews turn into fodder for future catfights. But when Whiteley first approached Navarro to discuss the idea of following the squad on the road to nationals, the filmmakers were very clear that they had no interest in making a reality TV–style program.

“Navarro was wary in the normal ways, like, ‘Who are you guys? Are you going to exploit us? Are you going to manufacture drama that’s not really there?’” Whiteley told me. “But after the president and Monica became familiar with our past work on Last Chance U, those concerns went away.”

The cult of individuality is so strong in America that that kind of collective trust, of legitimate and unwavering support, can be so alien that it feels corny to describe.

The style of Last Chance U — which, over the course of four seasons, has tracked football players with tremendous talent at junior colleges in Mississippi and Kansas, trying to get their grades up high enough to transfer to NCAA programs — is about as close to naturalistic as you can get with a contemporary documentary.

“We told the administration we’re not at all interested in anyone behaving in a dramatic way for the cameras,” Whiteley explained. “All of that stuff will be edited out. So please just allow us to be in positions that give us the highest chance of catching stuff as it really happens.”

That meant access to dorm rooms (with student permission), access to practices, and access to families (who were uniformly thrilled to participate). When and if someone did start to perform or mug for the camera, the crew would simply stop filming. “You just wait it out,” Whiteley said, “and pretty soon people understand.” Once people realize that the things they say won’t be used to manufacture drama, they begin to trust the crew, and their interactions with the camera, especially one-on-one, become warmer and more dimensional.

“They never truly forget that you’re around,” Whiteley said. “They’re just allowing you to be part of the new normal.”

Halfway through Cheer, Lexi realizes that someone from her past has posted compromising photos of her, taken several years before, on Twitter. It visibly shakes her and begins to affect her performance in practice. At first she’s hesitant to tell Monica, who has standards about the way cheerleaders should represent themselves online. But when Lexi admits that’s something wrong, Monica takes her to meet with the chief of police — a massive Navarro Cheer fan — who helps come up with a strategy to get the photos, which were technically child pornography, taken down.

In those scenes, you see Lexi’s otherwise unflappable demeanor shaken — and a complication to Monica’s role as a tough, uncompromising coach. Lexi agreed to have the entire meeting filmed because she wanted other people in her situation to know they have options. And that’s what Cheer provides: evidence, over and over again, of options. Not every option, not even close. But your life doesn’t have to be what others have decided it will be.

“She wants something different for her life,” Lexi’s grandmother says in one episode. “She doesn’t want what she had before.”

Cheer never suggests that cheerleading is a cheat code for the American dream — that excelling at it will lead you to happiness. And the cheerleaders at Navarro aren’t gunning for spots on the Dallas Cowgirls; that’s a wholly different mode of performance. Some of them will end up working as coaches, but most of them will probably leave cheerleading behind, and simply graduate: with an associate’s degree, with no student debt, and with choices. That’s not a fantasy. But it’s also something that’s not available to everyone.

Netflix

Gabi gets a hug in Episode 4 of Cheer.

There’s a scene at the end of Cheer, when Lexi, along with the rest of the squad, runs into the Atlantic Ocean, completely overwhelmed with what she and her teammates have accomplished. The camera is set up in the water, so it’s able to track her closely. And the look on her face is one of unmediated wonder.

No one has their phones; there’s no posing. The cameras have been with them so long at that point that it doesn’t even feel like they’re performing. But every single one of them seems astonished with themselves. And that’s the sort of feeling that never leaves you. You’ll never find it, at least not precisely, again. But it can be a reminder, and a glorious refrain, of what’s possible.

My squad was never in the same universe as Navarro. Katie never tumbled across the stage in Daytona Beach, even though I feel certain, with the right training, that she could have. There’s no trace of her on Facebook, and she had no close friends, at least not in our high school class, who could help me find her. But I can still remember the perfect spread of Katie’s toe touch, and what it felt like to catch her from a throw. I can see her concentrated expression as she applied glitter to my face and French-braided my hair.

I hope that cheerleading gave Katie some semblance of the grounding and structure it gave me, and I hope she remembers those years we spent throwing and catching one another. I’ve never not worried about her, the same way I worry about Lexi at the end of the series: kicked off the squad for getting caught in a car with people who had drugs, back home in Houston and channeling her energy into the saddest rave I’ve ever seen.

But the other day I checked Lexi’s Instagram and felt an immense sense of relief. She’d posted a picture of herself back at the Navarro gym, stunting with the team. Her caption: “Honey, I’m home.” ●

Sahred From Source link Sports

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[katesdailyscramble]

Mentor Report - Or, A Conversation with a Friend

~ My first night in Shibuya - (L-R) Kaho (kind student we met), Me, Madeline, Natalie (two of my friends on the trip), and Mari      I have known Mari since 2017 because we took the latter two years of classes for our Japanese major in the same tight-knit class of students - we were together for each term except for when she studied abroad at Aoyama Gakuin University in the spring and summer of 2018. I met her on my first day as a transfer student at North Central, and I have always liked her bright, fun, and real personality and have been impressed by her smarts and ability with Japanese. To be honest, her interactions with Japan and Japanese culture have influenced me a lot, and I look up to her. We shared one memorable experience in particular on the D-term trip last December where she showed me and my friends around Shibuya. She was not on the trip, but staying with a friend in the area, and met us to introduce us to her city. After getting off the suffocating train at 5:30 on a Friday night, we popped out of the Hachiko entrance and were wowed by the neon lights, advertisements, and sheer number of people bustling about the square. Mari guided us across the famous Scramble Crossing, gave us a personal tour of the 109 fashion mall, and led us to an izekaya (Japanese bar/pub) she recommended, all while telling us about her life in the city. Her sense of fashion – bold, punk, and clearly influenced by the street vibe – was something I adored, and seeing Shibuya through her eyes made me fall in love with it. Upon hearing that Aoyama was only a five minute walk from the main crossing, I was more attracted to the area than ever. I met with some Japanese students in Shibuya later on in the trip when we went back to Tokyo, and the amazing time I had with them further emphasized my love for it. I think it was then that I knew I might want to study abroad, that I was capable of doing it, and that I had a good idea where I might want to go.

~ Shibuya 109  (November 30th, 2018)      By the last term of my Japanese class, nearly all of my classmates had studied abroad in different parts of Japan, so I had heard a lot of stories, both good and bad, about living in the country and what it was like. Still, even though I had heard Mari's stories more candidly during throughout the year, it was interesting to interview her in a more concrete way about Japan. She confirmed that it is much like its ratings on various scales labeling it as collectivistic, high-context, and hierarchical – people are very much oriented toward thinking about the group, thinking about how their actions will affect the group as a whole, and how to best proceed so there is the best possible outcome for the group. There is a lot of context from the language based on what is not said in a conversation being more important than what is actually said, and hierarchies between people are honored with degrees of bowing and the level of diction or types of words used to address people (formal language is known as keigo, or respectful language). However, she said there is a big difference between what it is actually like versus how it is portrayed by the media and news. Popular media tends to display 'cool' or 'weird' things from Japan which are extremely technologically advanced or fun, and it becomes defined to the Western world as a magical land where people are all in harmony, live interesting lives, and few things go wrong. In reality, there is a lot of group-behavior and not a lot of conflict, but the lack of conflict and constant focus on efficiency can make it so a lot of people lose their voices and become a number in a swarm of people.      There is also a dark side to the country, specifically with its working culture, which Mari labeled as the thing which surprised her the most about living in Japan. Being out late at night, she would frequently see salarymen stumbling down the road, drunk, or simply passed out on the side of the street from exhaustion. The commute to work may be so hard and the work week so long and demanding that it is simply easier for some to sleep in the middle of road rather than going home only just to leave early in the morning to return. It is the same thing for them everyday, and Mari described seeing all of their faces with neutral expressions, not so much from the politeness and apathy we are conditioned to think of, but simply because they are too tired. These adverse working conditions, demand for loyalty to companies, and difficulty in going home on time due to hierarchy-based social rules makes the Japanese average working individual have a very hard life, and this was something Mari was not expecting to see so starkly during her time in Japan.

     In terms of differences found between Japan and America, Mari named some things that I was aware of and a few things which surprised me. In terms of differences, she mainly discussed how people tend to handle expressing themselves and showing who they truly are. In America we are very open about our emotions, how we feel about certain people or activities, and who we are as individuals. Someone may talk a lot and share very personal things without even being prompted, and this may make others either feel more intimate with that person, or very uncomfortable. I think our eager display of ourselves both has to do with individualism and our need as a low-context culture to always be stating our opinions aloud. Contrastingly, Mari talked about how people in Japan are far more private, specifically citing the Japanese concepts know as tatemae and honne. Tatemae (建前 - composed from the words 'to stand' and 'front') refers to the face we show to the public that does not know us; it is the face which is polite, properly in line with customs, and generally blends in with the rest of the population. Honne (本音, 'actual sound') is our true self who only we and perhaps our most intimate friends and family can ever know. In terms of Jungian theory, tatemae could be comparable to a persona, while honne refers to the self.

     Mari also brought this up when describing the most important thing I should know about Japanese culture – the need for privacy and distance between others (this so vital that I noticed even the kanji for 'I' - 私 - means 'private'). Interactions between cashiers and customers are practically robotic, while here we may compliment someone or strike up a light conversation. People in Japan do not share private information unless they are particularly close, and sharing those types of things can indicate that the sharer feels intimate with the listener. If the listener does not see them in the same way, they can become very stressed from learning this information, which puts pressure on them due to the other person's expectations about the relationship. It seems to be like when you learn someone views you as their best friend when they are only an acquaintance to you. Although this is not directly being said, the Japanese would interpret sharing information of that level as a declaration with equivalent meaning. Mari talked about how Japanese are constantly thinking about what they share affecting others, and so most tend to share minimal or fanciful things that don’t really have substance from a Western perspective. She described it even as being “fake” sometimes, so you may never know what someone actually thinks about you. A person may agree to meet you somewhere, knowing they are not going to go – then, Mari said, they cancel at the last minute, but do not feel bad since they never intended to come in the first place. This seems to be a form of high-context communication where it is easier just to not show up and make an excuse rather than simply telling the person they do not like them or that they do not want to go. They are communicating their message still, but in a very indirect way. I can imagine this being very difficult to handle, especially when making friends, so I will be wary when I go to Japan. I do not want to be suspicious of or think badly of people, but I will try not to get my hopes up too high if plans somehow fall through.

     Along that same line, she discussed how the night life and drinking culture may make it easier to establish relationships – in an informal setting, with your system slightly inebriated, it is psychologically easier to let go of the strict norms on privacy and become yourself. I imagine this is why bosses will go out to drink after work with their employees; it is very much a social monopoly of the worker's time and another part of the job (which isn't the best), but it functions as a way to get to know their coworkers more so than any functions occurring in the actual company building. I have heard from her and other Japanese students that Aoyama especially has a big drinking culture, and so while I don't want to be socially pressured into drinking, I realize I will have to do so (or at least hang out with the students at bars with a glass of water) in order to make closer friends at the school.

     When finding similarities between America and Japan, Mari found it a bit harder to answer, but she eventually decided upon Japanese youth. Although the older generation is very focused on tradition, respect, and all other things typically Japanese, the younger generation is very progressive, open-minded, and ready for new ideas to incorporate into the culture. I think this must have something to do with the globalization of the world through the internet, and while this can be true wherever you go, I think it is particularly interesting in a country like Japan. America is generally (hypothetically, at least) about liberty, free thinking, individuality, and the idea of being able to do whatever you want if you work hard enough, based on the American dream. Older adults (especially baby boomers, nowadays) are more conservative when it comes to things like LGBTQ+ rights, abortion, and other topics, but in terms of ways of thinking about liberty and individuality, I do not think they are incredibly different from millennials – that is, in comparison to the gap between the younger and older Japanese. Japan is so deeply ingrained with tradition, specific ways of doing things, and going along with the collectivist views of the group that I feel young people are jumping a wider gap to get to progressive ideas about individuality and expressing themselves without having to abide by all of those rules and constraints. Mari said these contrasting perspectives belonging to the younger generation will make a great difference for the country in the future, and I am inclined to agree. I see this happening everywhere eventually, but I think Japan will alter greatly within the next few decades as new people come into power. I had not thought of this similarity before, but I still really agree with Mari's thoughts regarding this.

     Although I have gained the same basic classroom education as Mari for the Japanese language since we had our last two years together, meaning that I didn't have much to ask her in this regard, she was able to give me one great tip – don't be afraid! She said that when she first got to Japan, she was terrified of using her Japanese, leading her to not speak it at all. Eventually, when she realized that she was never going to get better if she didn't try, she made an effort to speak it as much as possible, regardless of her fears, and that made all the difference. She advised me to try to speak as much as possible even if I don't know the right words – I should just try to get by and convey as much as I can, making a good effort without being worried about potentially offending anyone. I will get some free passes as a foreigner, and so I should simply try my best at all times. Mari has claimed frequently that the greatest influence on her improvement in Japanese abroad came from talking with people and interacting with others in the city, not from the daily language classes at school, and so I want to imitate that by getting past my introverted fears and really trying to interact with others. Still, she did express that this may be hard at times, especially in terms of how Japanese people view Americans.

     Mari said they have a lot of misconceptions about Americans, generally viewing them as loud and obnoxious (true?) and all about football, McDonalds, and obesity. While she didn't experience any discrimination specifically for this, one interaction she often described was being spoken to in English by employees or cashiers when ordering, and then being complimented on her 'amazing Japanese' after responding back with a simple sentence in the language. Sometimes she would even ask questions in Japanese for them to reply “no English,” which she understandably found exasperating. I think it will be harder for me to just begin speaking Japanese when people try to converse with me in English, but I also know that this is the only way I will improve. Although I think this has more to do with me being foreign and white rather than specifically American, it is an assumption that will usually be placed upon me, one I need to be careful of as I try to live in Japanese society and speak the language. Being a foreigner, I also assume they will think I do not know the rules (which I generally do not), so I am glad that Mari gave me a few pointers there, too. I already knew about actively listening (aizuchi) while others are talking, as well as the social shaming for eating and walking at the same time, but she reminded me of these taboos and social behaviors to follow, so I will reinforce them in my brain before I go.

     In discussing school and Aoyama in general, one thing Mari mentioned made me a bit more sure of myself and my decisions as far as living arrangements. She shared her story of how she was actually supposed to study abroad for a whole year, but once she arrived in September, where she had rented her own personal apartment, she felt incredibly alone, overwhelmed, and needed to come home after just a little while in Japan. Reflecting upon it, Mari advised me to not overestimate myself as she had done – she thought she could live all by herself in a new country without any kind of support system in place. She felt it was better for her to stay in the dorm upon returning to establish that community of international students, so I am happy that I am choosing to live there rather than on my own or in a sharehouse. I can get some privacy with my room, but I am still in a community. The only issue here she raised was that the international students can become clique-y and tend to only speak English with each other – because she really wanted to improve on Japanese, Mari removed herself from them more and more, eventually coming to treat the dorm as an apartment as she gained more Japanese friends outside of school. I do not want to get stuck in a comfortable bubble of only being with other international students, and so while I know I may not be adventurous as Mari or able to put myself out there, I want to make an effort to socialize in other places so this doesn't happen to me. I really want to improve my Japanese skills, and I can't do that if I keep speaking English.

     In terms of Aoyama's school work, Mari described it as very light, with only a midterm and final exam, or equivalent papers. The Japanese language classes are a bit more difficult, but overall it is much less demanding than school in America. From what I know about the Japanese education system, everything is focused on getting into a good university, and as long as you graduate, you will be taken up by a good company where you can earn a nice salary. Job preparation does not really happen in college – once you are in the company, they will spend time training you to do your job. Depending on the quality of the college you go to, the company generally assumes that you are capable of doing the work they ask of you. Thus, one's time in college is typically referred to as ‘the spring break of life.’ Mari said we would be fine and not stressed whatsoever, but I am still a bit skeptical. I am extremely focused on my schoolwork at all times since I associate it deeply (and unhealthily) with my self-image and worth as a person, but I hope that I will be able to change this perspective a bit in Japan. While I do not want to neglect my grades, I am more worried about neglecting the country, cultural experiences, and friendships I will have right at my fingertips. I don't want to be holed up in my room studying each night, and especially since this is my last term as an undergraduate, I want to be able to have that spring break experience as well. As I described before, Mari learned the most Japanese from being out in public with real people, and I want to take advantage of that opportunity as much as possible

     Overall, I really enjoyed my conversation with Mari. There were some things I knew, some I didn't, and some on which she gave me a new perspective, so I am very grateful I got to talk with her. I am not sure if she'll be returning to Japan any time soon, but I would love to meet up with her there again if I could! She's helped me prepare just a bit more for my journey in the spring, and so I am grateful to her as a mentor and as a friend.

[jonasmaurer]

73 questions

Hey friends! Happy Thursday! Hope you’re enjoying the week. 

It’s been a fun and crazy one over here. The girls have had half-day camps, Liv auditioned for dance team, the Pilot has been flying nights, and madre’s birthday was on Tuesday! We got together for a *small* family dinner (we joke that we’re just a small party of 28), and ate Mexican food, cake, and sang “Happy Birthday” to the amazing lady who gives so much to everyone in our family.

 My fave picture from the night! 

(The cake was from Whole Foods bakery and so so good.)

Workout-wise, I’ve crushed every day this week. Sunday, we filmed Summer Shape Up videos (the party starts June 24)! Monday, I hopped on the Peloton bike for a 30-minute ride, Tuesday was barre, Wednesday was a BODYATTACK class On Demand (my link is good for 21 days FREE of the amazing Les Mills workouts), and today and tomorrow are off since I’m traveling to Chicago for a blog trip. I’m looking forward to catching up with Anne and Julie, and meeting some new blogger friends. I’ll be sure to share some of the adventures on IG stories!

I originally planned to post this one while we were on our cruise, but since internet was a bit sketchy – and I blasted through the ship’s plan in a mere 24 hours – I didn’t get the chance to get this one published. I originally saw this survey on my friend Ashley’s blog, and then Julie’s. I loved reading their answers so much, so I thought I’d join in the survey fun. 

1.  What’s the best thing that happened to you this month? Taking a Disney Cruise with the fam! 

2. What’s your favorite game? We don’t usually play board games at home, but our favorite games is a hide and seek and tag hybrid. I hide, the girls try to find me, I jump out and go “AHHH!” and they scream, I chase them around until I tag them, and then they hide. 

3. When are you most inspired? Mid-morning, usually after I’ve had breakfast and survived the school drop-off. 

4. If you could teach one subject in school what would it be? Math

5. What’s your favorite beverage? LaCroix 

6. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? A friend from the gym sent a text message while the Pilot was deployed and basically gave me a pep talk. She said she was proud of me for doing so well with work stuff and solo parenting. It was very unexpected and really made my whole month. It was a great reminder to let other people know when I’m inspired by them or think they’re crushing it. 

7. What is your favorite birthday cake? Yellow cake with chocolate buttercream

(That was my bday cake last year!)

8. What is one thing you still have from your childhood? A photo album that my mom made for me when I was 4 and we’d taken a trip to California. I was with all of my aunties, my parents were still married, and my uncle was still alive. Our dog chewed around the edges of it when I was younger, and the small plastic photo album contains quite a few happy memories from being a kid.

9. What is your favorite movie? Love, Actually

10. What is something you can’t do? Play the flute even though I faked it for an entire year in 5th grade. I could do all of the finger work, but no sound would come out. So I just pursed my lips and acted like I knew what I was doing. 

11. Window or aisle seat? Aisle so I can get up a thousand times if I feel like it. 

12. What makes you laugh no matter what? P makes the most ridiculous faces that make me laugh every day. We get a kick out of zooming in on photos that she’s in, because you never know what you’re going to get.

13. What does creativity mean to you? Free from any perceived restraints or judgments. 

14. What are your favorite lyrics of all time? “Look around, look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now.” I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of Hamilton.

Or hanging out with Betsy  

15. What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving

16. What’s heavily played on your music playlist right now? “Far Too Good” by John Smith. 

17. If you could raid one woman’s closet who would it be? My friend Annie’s! Whenever she posts Instagram posts, I want her outfit and her shoes

18. Must have purse item? Color Intense lipstick in at least 3 shades

19. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 12? On Broadway

20. What is something you will not be doing in ten years? Wondering where the heck we’ll be living in a couple of years. It’s so crazy to be able to know and plan where we want to live. 

21. What is an important life lesson for someone to learn? Your gut instinct is always right.

22. How do you start your day? Scrolling through my phone with one eye closed.

23. Would you ever live anywhere besides Tucson? Yes! We’d love to make it back to San Diego one day but love being in Tucson for now.

24. What is your favorite dessert?  Anything super chocolaty.

25. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Creme brûlée is gross.

26. It’s brunch! What do you eat? Eggs, breakfast potatoes, turkey sausage, and a mimosa because brunch without cocktails is just a sad breakfast. <— words of wisdom from Prep & Pastry

27. Where was the best vacation you’ve ever taken? Positano

28. Favorite Disney animal? Stitch

29. What is a book you are planning on reading? “Educated” is downloaded on my Kindle but I haven’t started it yet

30. What did you read most recently? “Where the Crawdads Sing” and loooooved it

31. Favorite solo artist? Michael Bublé for life

32. What is something you’re tired of? The Instagram algorithm. They want to turn it into a “pay to play” platform, which was the downfall of Facebook

33. What’s a city you wish to visit? Paris

34. Heels or flats? Wedges

35.  Where does one go on a perfect road trip? To Sedona. It’s just an easy drive from us and has an incredible energy.

36. What do you do on a rainy day? Try to find indoor activities to entertain the kiddos! We’ll do art, visit a museum, go rock climbing, or see a movie

37. What’s your favorite exercise? Spin, barre and BODYPUMP are tied

38. What was your worst subject in school? English which is a hilarious thing since I write a blog for a living

39. What is your spirit animal? An otter. I want to spend the day in the pool, floating on my back, eating salad

40. What do you usually eat for breakfast? A giant egg patty and either oatmeal with almond butter or a brown rice tortilla

41. What do you usually eat for dinner? We change it up every night but some classics are salmon, sweet potato and salad, Harney Cobbs, or sushi roll bowls

42. Cooking or Baking? Both!

43. Favorite baked good? Cookie dough on the bottom, Oreo’s in the middle, and brownies on top

44. What is something you wish you could be good at? Organizing photos on my laptop. It’s a hot mess

45. Skiing or Surfing? Paddle boarding 

46. First celebrity crush? JTT — Jonathan Taylor Thomas — I became a vegetarian for him when I was 8

47. Most recent celebrity crush? Aaron Tveit. I love his voice!

48. What color was your prom dress? Junior year it was bright pink and senior year it was light purple and silver

49. How do you manage stress? Try to do the most challenging/inconvenient item on my to-do list first

50. What do you do to relax? Read or cook

51. Age when you were first kissed? 12

52. Place you were first kissed? Playing “spin the bottle” after musical theatre class

53. Favorite fashion trend of all time? Low-top sneakers with dresses

54. Best fashion advice you’ve ever received? If you have to convince yourself that you like it, you’ll never wear it, so don’t buy it

55. What is your current favorite piece of clothing that you own? These embellished sandals. I wear them all the time and am constantly asked where I bought them

56. Shoes or Bags? Bags! I love a good crossbody

57. How do you know if you’re in love? When you know, you know

58. Television show you’ve binged on recently? The Bachelorette! We’re almost caught up for the season

59. Who do you turn to when you’re sad? My mom – she always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better

60. Leather or lace? Lace

61. Vintage or new? New

62. What is your Kryptonite? Chocolate or guacamole

63. What are you most enchanted by? Surface level: Moms on social media who have 18 children, homeschool, are all matching in neutral clothing with zero stains, and elaborate mermaid braids in their hair. Deeper: I’m beyond enchanted with Liv and P. They surprise me, make me laugh, and make my heart explode every single day. I often find myself wondering how they’re so darn amazing?

64. What is your biggest strength? Hustle

65. What is your biggest weakness? Stressing over all of the details

66. What are 3 words to describe living in Tucson? Picturesque. Hot. Eccentric.

67. Cutest thing on planet earth? Baby koalas

68. Favorite color? Peach

69. Best first date idea? Something active, like a low-key hike, followed by dinner and drinks

70. Favorite time of day? Late.. probably around 9 or 10pm. I enjoy the quiet and downtime

71. What do you first notice about someone when you meet them? Their smile 

72. What’s your guilty pleasure? Take a jar of almond butter, sprinkle chocolate chips into the jar, scoop out with a spoon

73. Favorite band? I wouldn’t say I’m super into bands at the moment and my music taste is all over the place. Back in high school, I was obsessed with Dashboard Confessional

That was a fun one! I always love surveys because it gives me the chance to get to know you all better.

So, tell me friends:

When are you most inspired?

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? 

What’s one thing you cannot do? 

Cutest thing on planet earth?

What do you do to relax? 

Or pick any of the questions above and share your answers below! 

Have a lovely day.

xoxo

Gina

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