#because i've been seeing some folks online say that they want to know what happens next with james and erin

[areseebee]

now that derry girls season 3 is out and available to the world, if there are any james x erin fans who are thinking, "gee, i really would like to see james and erin get together" or, "i know that james and erin will get together eventually when they're older, but it sure seemed like they were awfully close in that finale," might i interest you in a now-complete fic i wrote called smoke break?

smoke break was born after watching the finale when it originally aired in may because i wanted to reconcile lisa mcgee's vision that it took james and erin a little longer in life to officially get together while also considering how season 3 ended with them seeming to have happy, easy intimacy. it left me wondering - what happened in between all those years? smoke break is my take on an iteration of james and erin before they finally get together when they are 19 and a year into uni.

and see, smoke break even has a very pretty cover, drawn by @derrygirlstrash (and recently liked on twitter by dylan llewellyn/james maguire himself).

and, i'm currently working on a sequel, set when james and erin are 27! it's called someday, and is not yet complete, but is still, i think, a good time.

[elitadream]

Hi guys~! ⛅👋

Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. 🥹 🙏

Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. 😅💖 With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and… To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. 🙇‍♀️ Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.

Which brings me to my next point.

After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. 👐 Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. ☺️

And speaking of which-

@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! 💗 I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! 💫 My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! 🥰 Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! 🥂

@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! ✨ I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. 🥲

@keakruiser Thank you. 🙏💐 I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!

Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. 🫂 Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. 💝

As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! 🤗 Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. 🍂

-elita 🌸

[doberbutts]

We have a little free pantry in our front yard (toothbrushes, tampons, shelf-stable snacks bottled water, etc.), and I read a lot about people's experiences having one online before we put ours up re: expectations about potential interactions with people using it, but nothing prepared me for how weirdly aggro *other* people sometimes get about us having it as a form of "activism" as opposed to some other, more nebulous idea of broader social change. "Don't you think it'd be better to volunteer at or donate money to a homeless shelter, so those people can get the actual help they need?" "Shouldn't you focus more on trying to campaign for policy changes that will help more people than one street corner if you care about this problem?" "Isn't doing that a waste of time?" "Aren't you just encouraging people not to get help?" I do that other stuff when I can. This is something small I can do - in addition to raising awareness and fighting for bigger change, when I have the time and money and spoons - and at least, when I don't. It's crazy to me to approach social justice issues with such an all-or-nothing mindset as some people seem to. I've met enough of the individuals who utilize it to know it makes a difference in a very tangible way for the people directly around me.

No, I agree entirely.

Corny and dated as it is, there's a reason the saying is "be the change you want to see". If no one within the community puts in the work to fix the community's problems, even in little bits and pieces, then how will anything change? Raising awareness only goes so far. What happens when all anyone is, is aware? Aware, and still doing nothing, waiting for someone else to put in the work.

Sometimes, that someone is going to need to be you. You can't just wait around and wait for someone else to do it for you.

If I see someone digging through the trash for food, I wave them over and offer them food from my house or fresh food from a store or take them to a restaurant where they can order whatever they want. If I'm getting groceries and I see someone very obviously homeless struggling to pay for their food, I tell the cashier to add it to my bill. No one starves in front of me. Ever since I stopped needing to rely on food stamps, no one starves in front of me.

This past summer I saw someone splayed out on the sidewalk in 95F weather in direct sunlight. I couldn't tell if he was unconscious from drugs or passed out from the heat or just simply had fallen asleep in the shade and then the sun moved. I was getting groceries so I added a bunch of hot chicken to my order plus several bottles of refrigerated water. I went over to him and woke him and explained that I was worried he needed medical attention. He'd passed out because he was tired, he told me. I offered him the hot food and the water and he thanked me, telling me he'd run out of water the night before and food the day before that and didn't have any money to get any more.

Everyone else had been walking around him like he was just an obstacle on the sidewalk. No one had thought to offer any help. When I walked away, some folks who saw me told me that that was very nice of me. I don't think it was nice of me. I think that's just what you should do if you see someone obviously in distress. They agreed that he seemed like he needed the help. They didn't act. They agreed that the compassionate and right thing to do was to offer assistance and make sure he was okay. But they didn't do it. They waited for someone else to do it.

I've mentioned in passing that I volunteer for the local teen LGBT club, helping lost gay kids find their way and maybe not kill themselves about it. It's not much. I mostly just text back and forth with whatever kids get my number from the adults that run the thing. Sometimes I give them tips and advice. Sometimes I'm just the cool gay uncle they tell about their latest school drama. Once or twice I've served one of them lunch on my couch while my dogs smother them with affection and they cry about their latest heartbreak. I don't do speeches or history lessons or anything like that. I don't think I'm qualified for it, in honesty. But if even one of them doesn't commit suicide, if even one of them doesn't self-harm, if even one of them no longer feels all alone in the world because I'm there when they reach out to me, that's enough.

Today on my commute to work, the guy in front of me had a major wipeout on his motorcycle. I stopped my car in a position that none of the other cars could hit him, and asked if he was okay, and waited until his friend (also on a motorcycle) had circled back around to help him off the road and check him over. I left once his friend waved me away. I offered to call an ambulance but he refused.

A couple weeks ago, also on my commute, a woman was stopped on the side of the road, waving her arms at drivers, shouting for help. I stopped. The other drivers didn't. Her car had died, she was new to town, and she was somewhere that notoriously doesn't get cell service. I helped her call a tow truck. It wasn't a trap. She didn't want to hitchhike. She just was stuck and panicked about it.

I stop and help animals get off the road. I've lost count on how many turtles I've carried to the other side. I helped my neighbor search for a dog he saw get hit by a car so he could take it to the vet. I shoveled my elderly neighbor's driveway for her, and talked my boss into giving her a major discount for her little dog's dental in which pretty much every tooth needed extraction or he would die. When I still lived in that rental with my roommates, we were surrounded by kids. Every kid on the block knew we were a safe house to go to. If they needed food or water, if they needed entertainment, if they needed just somewhere to be, they could be at our place. When covid started, I did a "reverse halloween" since Halloween was canceled, and I put bags of candy on every doorstep that I knew had kids inside. I've done a "neighborhood santa" putting a small toy plus a small gift card for the parents on every doorstep that has kids, for as long as I've lived around kids.

When I say activism requires action, I don't mean that every single person is required to save a thousand lives. The honest answer is, unless you have a lot of disposable time and money, you probably won't. But you can still make a difference. To one. To ten. To twenty.

And you know what? I'm not saying black people specifically came up with this- but how can you be surprised to know this is how I live my life when I say over and over that I was raised by black activists who lived during MLK Jr and Malcolm X and knew community action would have the longest-lasting effects? Of course I do all this. That's what being part of a community *is*.

[roo-bastmoon]

Off My Chest

Rant about Hybe under the cut. I give you my word I will try to post a majority of positive content, because the world (and my mental health) doesn't need more negativity, but sometimes you just gotta vent.

Folks, if you've known me for a hot second, you've realized I am a Jimin-biased Jikooker... but I am OT7, and I sincerely love and support BTS.

I believe Jimin is a grown man who can advocate for himself and I believe Jungkook absolutely supports and adores him, whatever their relationship status is.

I always try to accentuate the positive and avoid online drama and negativity as much as possible, but I need to get this off my chest.

I will never be gas-lit into believing that the way Jimin was treated in solo era was fair, or equitable, or even made any kind of business-sense. I've genuinely tried to entertain other people's points of view and listen to people who claim to have industry expertise, but...

I will never forget his mail being tampered with four times, his leaked insurance information, denial of more music videos, overlapped solo release, only 9 days of promotion, split title tracks, no radio or play-listing, no bio for his Spotify for months, no restock of his single CD for months, hundreds of thousands of frozen and deleted sales, millions of culled streams, shady articles in WeVerse and Billboard, insulting dialogue in In the Seom, failure to submit to RIAA certification for months, only a paywall documentary on WeVerse, zero official acknowledgement of his Hot 100 #1, 1 billion streams on Spotify, or wins for The Fact, MAMA, and two Webbys, plus broken in-ears, anemic little balloons and a sad background tarp as decorations for his fan events… and the company telling him how doing more would just be impossible.

I compare all that to the push that other members and other groups got, and I know it just isn't true. It wasn't impossible.

Hell, Jeon Jungkook put in more effort to promote Jimin’s work and showed more respect for Jimin as an artist during his at-home lives than that whole company did, which honestly makes no sense from a profit standpoint.

I will never forget it, and I will not entertain arguments that say I’m a solo or an anti or jealous about it. I have eyes.

I am not out to shade any other members nor put forth any conspiracy theories. I simply want all our boys to get everything they justly deserve.

And yes, other members have suffered mishaps and neglect, but nothing of this scale, this consistently. It baffles me, I cannot understand it, and I'm done trying. Something strange was going on behind the scenes and we may never be privy to the details.

In trying to put this awful feeling behind me, I will say I am elated that Jikook are serving together and can support each other. I am glad there will be a Jikook travel show. I'm continually impressed with all of Jimin's success (in the military and professionally) despite all odds. I will always love and support all of BTS with my full heart.

And I sincerely hope the company has been taking notes and course-corrects for PJM2, even if it rubs some higher ups the wrong way if they had a different vision. Considering Jimin’s unique talents and his amazing star power—even his ability to bring Paris and New York to a screaming standstill just for the opportunity to see him exit a car—I would hope the company will “do their best to promote all labels and artists without discrimination” going forward.

But what happened truly sucked, and I needed to get that off my chest. I am not interested in further discussion or debate. I am now going to do my best to shift my focus and energy on to the things I want to manifest, instead of the things that enrage me.

So let me end on a positive and hopeful note: I put all my trust in Jimin, who signed a new contract with Hybe and who unfailingly adores all his members. There can be no love without trust. I will always do my best to trust BTS.

But I'm watching carefully. For Jimin and all our boys.

Love, Roo

[pudding-parade]

Sorry, but I have to get political on all your asses, at least those of you who live in the US. It will be a one-time thing on this subject, the only thing that I will say here about the election before it happens. And yeah, I'm going to say this on a blog devoted to a stupid video game. Why? Because I know that I have younger American people who follow me here, and if y'all are like some of the younger people I've talked to in real life and online in other venues, I have concerns. So I'm going to say all this as an old-ass, progressive American. Because if I can wake up one apathetic mind out there, it will be worth it. And if you're pissed at me for making a single political post at this important juncture, then fuck off and unfollow me or send me nasty messages or whatever you want to do. I don't care. And I'm not cutting this, either.

My dear followers: Donald Trump cannot -- CANNOT -- become president again.

Late last night, Trump posted on his Truth Social account a video containing language and images reminiscent of the World War era. It was about his fantasies of what America would be like, should he win the general election in about five months. It contained suspicious imagery and phrases like "creating a unified Reich." Does that sort of language sound familiar? Especially when combined with his rhetoric about immigrants being "vermin" that "poison the blood of our country?" Ring any bells? I'm sure it does for any German folks who might read this.

Trump's post was only taken down about 12 hours later, after backlash over it, and then Trump claimed that a "low level staffer" posted it, not him. Which is either a lie OR he was lying when he said previously that only he and his campaign's communications director have or will ever have access to that account. If you want more info about this, here's a short video from Jesse Dollemore, an independent commentator:

This election isn't about liberal/progressive vs. conservative. It truly doesn't matter what your personal ideology is because this election is about saving democracy. This is about preserving your freedoms, because we won't be able to do anything about any other issue, whatever our individual ideologies and pet issues are, if our basic freedoms upon which this country was founded -- freedom of speech and to protest, freedom of (and from) religion, freedom of the press -- are chipped away until they are gone. Because that's what autocrats do. They want freedom only for themselves, and Donald Trump and his cronies and hangers-on are all autocrat wannabes.

And if you -- Yes, you, even if you're sitting in the middle of blood-red state -- don't vote for Joe Biden, you will be doing your part to hand the autocrats what they want, because a non-vote or a vote for anyone other than Biden is in fact a vote for Trump and autocracy. Similarly, you must also vote for Democrats for all other positions, local, state, and federal so that America's overt flirtation with autocracy that's been going on since at least the 1990s might finally end once and for all.

Yes, yes, I know: "But Genocide Joe!" Think about it: Do you seriously think that Trump, who licks Netanyahu's asshole because he sees him as the kind of "strong man" that Trump wants to be, is going to help Gaza? Or that he'll go against Putin and continue aid to Ukraine? Because if you think that he will do either of those things, I have several bridges I'd like to sell you. No, Trump is going to "put America first." He says it all the time, and what he means by that is that he will do nothing except whatever it takes to keep himself and his cronies in power while also isolating America by severing ties to our allies. Gaza will be given to Netanyahu just as Ukraine will be given to Putin, should Trump win, and he won't give a shit. In the end, Biden (and Harris, should she have to take over) will listen and help Gaza, maybe not as much as we'd like because the Middle East situation is complicated and there are no simple solutions, but a Biden-led government will certainly help more than another Trumpian government would. And Biden will definitely continue to aid Ukraine, because that situation isn't complicated at all.

And in the end, it's not really about Ukraine and Gaza, though they are of course important. It's about us. Should Trump get into the White House again, he will surround himself with people who want America to be a plutocratic and authoritarian autocracy, very similar to Putin's Russia. This is not hyperbole. This is fact. A vote for Trump -- either actual or de facto by fucking around with not voting or voting for a third party because you think it's a "protest" -- is a vote to end democracy, plain and simple, which might very well mean that you'll never be able to protest again another day.

How bad could Trump be, you ask? Who cares who is president? Well, have a look at Project 2025. It's a 900-page "playbook" for the next "conservative" administration. (In quotes because there is nothing "conservative" about these people, including Trump and his cronies; they are radicals.) It is nothing less than a plan to destroy the federal government, the Constitution, and the freedoms that it enshrines and protects, which means the end of democracy. They published a similar tome before Reagan was elected, and once he was in, Reagan followed through with a lot of it. I have no doubt that Trump would, too, given that his "Agenda 47" platform is basically the same. Here is an article that summarizes Project 2025 and details some of its directives. And here is an article from Time Magazine, of all things, where the writer of it interviewed Trump about his vision for America, should he win. The first line of the article is, "Donald Trump thinks he’s identified a crucial mistake of his first term: He was too nice." You can read the transcripts of the interviews, too, so you can rest assured that the interviewer isn't being hyperbolic.

It ain't good, folks. Part of this extreme-right agenda is ridiculously expanding the power of the executive branch so that it would no longer be checked and balanced by Congress and the Supreme Court, which effectively turns the presidency into a dictatorship. And if Biden does not win, at least some of this bullshit will come to pass, especially because Trump already has the Supreme Court in his pocket. And he'll be able to appoint more young, far-right lunatics to that, too, should he win.

I'll repeat that Trump CANNOT win. I'll be the first to say that, as a pretty extreme (but also pragmatic) progressive, I'm not Biden's biggest fan, for various reasons. He is way farther right than I am, though he has been far more progressive-friendly than I expected and he has gotten some very good things done. But even if he wasn't and hadn't, he will preserve democracy and because of that, I will be voting for him without hesitation. I won't even have to hold my nose. Trump and his cronies in Congress and the Supreme Court will destroy democracy if you -- Yes, YOU! -- let them. And if you let them by deciding not to vote or doing some sort of lame "protest" vote, especially if you live in that handful of states where every presidential vote matters, you will have no one to blame but yourself and others like you. People being apathetic or doing "protest" votes is what got us Trump the first time around.

For fuck's sake, do the right thing.

[kaelidascope]

Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online

I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person. 

In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand. 

This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms. 

I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t. 

This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers. 

I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me. 

I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here. 

I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?

The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want.  But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here. 

You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process. 

I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.  

It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear; 

Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME. 

If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries. 

I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.

This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature. 

For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack. 

I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening. 

This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.

[nothorses]

Aren't you the one with the weird ass misogyny kink

This is such a perfect example of how fucking stupid callout culture is, actually.

For context, nearly two years ago now, a few blogs known for picking fights & starting harassment campaigns picked a fight & started a harassment campaign against first one transmasc blogger, then a bunch of other transmascs they harassed about reblogging his post who either didn't respond to them, or who responded unfavorably.

I won't get into the nitty-gritty here, but I did elsewhere [1] [2] and so have a few other folks.

I wasn't the original person called out. I was tacked on after the fact because I didn't respond.

What I've been "called out" for since then is, essentially, a bunch of complete bullshit made up by people who are pissed off that I encouraged people to think critically about the callout posts they came across.

Even among those lies, my sex life, kinks, fetishes, whatever- none of it has ever come up. Because I don't engage with that online, I never have, and I never will, for exactly this reason.

Would you be surprised if I told you this wasn't the first time I'd been accused of the "crimes" that original person was accused of?

You probably shouldn't be! This shit happens all the time, and it's only a natural progression of the callout culture it all stems from: one person has some shit they said taken out of context and painted in a bad light by a vindictive and usually transphobic internet loser, everyone who doesn't publicly disavow them immediately and without question is guilty by association, and what reason do they have to defend this person anyway, except so they can get away with the same thing? They must be doing it too!

And this ask especially is phrased in such a blatantly manipulate way. There's no good way to answer this: either I say "yes, but" and people stop thinking or caring there, or I say "no, here's what really happened" and I look weak and dubious for defending myself at all. The accusation has been made, the question has been asked, and now everything I say is with the assumption that this is something I am responsible for proving or disproving.

It's stupid and pointless and it's all fucking made up. It's designed to run on instinctive disgust and outrage, and what better conduit is there for rage and disgust than trans people? Especially trans people who talk about being trans.

And even putting all that aside: who fucking cares?

Who cares if one dude gets off to some shit he, in real life, both suffers from and actively tries to combat? Why are you so concerned with the private sexual fantasies of one random internet stranger? Why is it so important to you that everyone in the world know what this one dude thinks is hot when acted out between two consenting adults?

Come off anon and tell me all your kinks, anon. Tell me every single thing you have ever been turned on by, everything you've masturbated to, and why. I want detailed notes. I want links to porn. If you've made art, written fanfic, roleplayed- I want to see it.

C'mon, if this should be publicly available knowledge, let's start with you. It shouldn't matter as long as none of it's weird or off-putting to anyone else, right? You don't need to hide anything, right? There's nothing there you'd be embarrassed about, nothing you'd rather keep private, right? So what's the hold-up, why haven't you done this already? Why are you on anon to begin with; what are you hiding?

If anyone's the "sex freak" or whatever, anon, it's you. Nobody fucking needs this information about anyone, especially if they aren't sexually involved with each other. It's a massive invasion of privacy, and much more importantly it is textbook sexual harassment.

Anyway. Hi, voc and w-oc. I should be more surprised to see you two in my inbox, but I guess yall are obsessive enough to respond to, literally, a couple of tags on one reblog containing undefined, contextless acronyms of your urls. Hope you talk to a therapist about that someday.

[madlori]

The Claw is our master.

I've had a few folks in DMs ask me how/why/when my shipping did such a completey 180. It's a fair question. I am, after all, someone who spent the last 2 years fervently Buddie shipping, writing fic for them, doing the same hoping/analyzing/searching etc that everyone else (well...not exactly the same, I've always been skeptical of most of the theories and such because I don't believe in a production's ability to be that sneaky, covert or mischievous).

And yet, here I am. I can't really even pretend I'm still a Buddie shipper anymore. Initially I said sure, I still hope for it. I...can't in all honesty say that now. I've firmly decamped for BuckTommy Land. Is this a recipe for heartbreak if they eventually breakup? Sure, but that's always a risk. No more than shipping a non-canon pairing, anyway.

And there's nothing wrong with shipping a non-canon pairing. People do it every day. Hell, it's practically the backbone of fandom. Obsessing about ships being canon is a one-way ticket to dissatisfaction and sometimes total unraveling. I've seen it happen more times than I can count over 30 years in online fandoms.

But if that's the case, why didn't I stay on Team Buddie? Why did I defect so thoroughly that I'm at the point now where not only do I not think Buddie will ever happen, I don't want it to, because I now want to see something different from those two characters, something I believe we will actually get from the writers.

The answer to that question is: I have no idea.

People ask this like I'm somehow in control of it. I'm not. The Fandom Brain is like The Claw in Toy Story. The Claw is our Master. The Claw decided who will go and who will stay.

Fandom Brain is my master. It decides what I'm going to ship, what I'm going to be fannish about and what I'm not, and when I'm going to stop feeling fannish about something. I have zero say in the matter, I'm just along for the ride. At some point in every fandom I have ever been in, my Fandom Brain has, usually with no provocation, decided "Ok we're done with this fandom now." And nothing I can do will make that not true. I can't force it. I can't cajole it. It just is.

Similarly, Fandom Brain has decided "Welp, we're done with this pairing now. We like THIS pairing now. Proceed." Are there reasons? I'm sure there are.

Is it just that it's a canon pairing? Possibly. There is something very seductive about a canon pairing after so long of looking for crumbs and tiny hints where there (mostly) none to find. But I've shipped plenty of non-canon pairings before.

Is it that I prefer Tommy/Lou to Eddie/Ryan? Absolutely not. I love Eddie, always have. I admit to being slightly more of a Buck girlie, but that doesn't mean Eddie means nothing to me.

Is it the immediate gratification? Maybe. Is it just how the relationship's being written? Possibly. Is it just a mental adjustment for my belief that Buddie will never happen, and Eddie will always be straight? Likely. But that doesn't change the outcome.

So here I sit, just...yep. Sometimes it just be like that. I didn't choose this, it's just what my brain decided was going to work for me going forward. If this goes up in smoke, my brain will choose something else, whether it's to run back to Buddie, or be done with 9-1-1 entirely, or who knows what else?

The good news for any of you who follow my writing is that I'm still working on the next Husbros installment. That universe is removed enough from the canon that it almost feels separate to me now, and I'm still feeling connected to it. Yes, I've written a few short BT fics, but so far I've not had any lengthy or involved plot bunnies for it.

So there you have it. I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me. I don't know if I'd have chosen this if I could, but tbh I'm having a pretty good time with it so far, so. That's probably a big part of the reason.

[mcromwell]

Ayo! New follower here. I love your art and your mind set of just messing around to make cool stuff. but I’ve also seen you love been to at least one convention (I didn’t scroll far enough to see more about conventions) and I wanted to ask. How you did it? I really enjoy making art and I would love to make it a career so this boils down to :

how did you do it? And how can I do it too?

not just like first steps but what happens after that? I’m young enough that if this doesn’t work out I have plenty of time to look into other careers before worrying about paying for rent or necessities with money from my future occupation. I know that everyone’s experience is different but I still hoping you can give me a somewhat clear answer.

thank you for inspiring me

(sorry this ask was so long)

Hello there! Thank you for your message.

These questions are large and hard to answer. Being more specific in your questions helps. "How I did it" is very... large in scope. That question could be answered just by saying, "I did it by never wanting anything else and never losing sight of my goal." But that doesn't help you much. So I'll just try to touch on some key points and contexts.

I'm 32. Only in the last couple years has my practice been enough to make a living doing it. I've always wanted this and literally everything I've done in my life has been to get here. I've worked two jobs my entire working life (age 19-now): retail/customer service and art stuff on the side. Because of the pandemic, I got double unemployment and stimulus checks, which became my initial investment into merch and savings safety net to get started. I started therapy to address my fears of asking for help, my negative self-talk, and catastrophic thinking. (Therapy has helped me with my art so much.) Then I was laid off for real in 2020 and hit the ground running with art. I split rent with roommates, I live very very cheaply, and art is my passion. If art for a living is what you want to do and you're happy to make lots of concessions to get it, this career works. It takes a while to get momentum and regular sales/attention-- just don't quit. The more stuff you do the more people will recognize you and like your work.

It would be dishonest to not address my privilege here, too. My parents have always emotionally supported my practice, my friends too, and I got to go to art school with no debt. I did outside of school art mentorships. My art education experiences taught me a lot of art techniques and self-employed skills and that only happened due to the support of my folks. I had resources a lot of people don't. (Which is why I want to help new artists learn this stuff as much as I can; not everyone is as lucky as I am.)

My advice for you if you want to do what I do, which is being self-employed making and selling art and art merchandise for a living:

Get used to making concessions right at first. Your art career will probably not start out gangbusters, so get used to low sales and saving money and working hard. Make things within your means and grow from there.

Fuck around and find out. Try making merch, try making videos, try things you see other artists doing, try everything and see if it works for how you like to make stuff. I learn so much from YouTube, to be totally honest. Artists are good sharers.

Follow a shit ton of artists and see what works for them. Join artist groups and ask thoughtful, specific questions to learn from those already doing it.

Learn how to write about your art. Write about why you make it. It helps make it more compelling to others. "How to Sell Your Art Online" by Cory Huff is a good book to read for tips on this.

Develop a healthy relationship with art-making. If you sit down at a blank page and it terrifies you: address that first. Don't try to start a business if you're still struggling with making art regularly.

In fact, don't start a business until you're really ready. Art comes first. You can easily do art and build skills and do commissions and run an online shop along with working a job that pays bills reliably while you grow into the artist you're meant to be.

Don't pigeon-hole yourself into only one channel: don't JUST apply to cons, try street fairs too. Don't JUST sell online, get your work into cafes as well. You'll see which routes are more profitable/worth the time as you try them out. Eggs in many baskets, you know.

There's probably a whole essay I could write on this. And you're right--mileage varies between person to person vastly. The part of the world you live in, your access to transportation, education, your mental health, what type of work you like to make, etc. Art careers almost never look the same 1:1 even in fandom spaces like furry/anime. If you're self-made, it will reflect that.

I recommend the YouTube channels Rafi Was Here, Robin Sealark, Cat Graffam, and the website The Abundant Artist (again by Cory Huff) for more resources.

Don't be afraid to take leaps of faith. Try everything. Be true to what works for you and what doesn't feel sustainable. Be authentic with your art and stay true to your interests. And good luck.

[stagkingswife]

hi! do you have any tips on getting to know local fae and any anecdotes? also any warnings if you have them. ty!

Getting to know you tips:

Most of the folklore I draw from in my work with the Folk  is specifically Irish, and it seems like the Celtic types of Folk are the ones you see most commonly spoken about online (I believe they were spread via human immigration - i.e. the American Gods theory). Many cultures have folklore of spirits that people often lump into “ the fae,” but I think this over is a mistake.  A Russian Domovoi and an English Brownie might seem like the same thing because they’re both house spirits, but they operate on very different rule sets and have different roles within their cultures.  So I find it important to get to know the Folk around you on their own terms.  Are they native to the area, or are they essentially immigrants?  My own work is so Irish flavored because I believe the Folk I work with came here from Ireland.  

We’ve talked about human culture, now let’s talk about Otherworldly culture.  A lot of working with the Folk for me has been like learning a new culture.  You’ve probably seen a lot of “Rules for Working With the Fae” around, and while those are great general guidelines they aren’t always necessarily applicable in their entirety to every group of the Folk or every individual spirit.  Every time I encounter a new group of the Folk it’s like moving to a new city, there’s a unique culture to learn and internalize.  Each Court, Clan, Troop, Mob, etc is going to be unique, and solitary types even more so. At first I recommend listening more than you speak, ere on the side of too formal rather than too casual, and try to get just one or two close allies who will help you learn and practice, and hopefully kindly point out your mistakes before you make them with someone less forgiving. 

Some words of caution: 

Don’t be afraid of the Fair Folk if you want to have a successful relationship with them. There’s a lot of fear mongering that happens about this particular type of spirit, and yes there are particular dangers to seeking them out, but that can be said of any type of spirit in my opinion.  And in this particular case fear will not serve you well. Be cautious, yes, but not timid or afraid.  The Fair Folk I’ve been close to reward clever cautiousness and only mock fear.  

You’ll notice that I called them the “Fair Folk” try not to use the f-word you used, and never the f-word that rhymes with airy.  Now this is informed by my particular experiences and specific cultural beliefs that calling them those terms is…. Let’s say less than flattering to them.  It's also a cultural belief that these words attract their attention when one may not necessarily want it, so there are all sorts of traditional epithets and euphemisms.  But not all of those terms apply to all of the Folk, for instance the courtly types might like the classic “Lords and Ladies” term, but the Clan I have ties to hates being called this term and would take it as being mocked if someone used it with them, they prefer simpler options like “The Gentle Folk” or “The Folk Under the Hill.”  So the warning/tip here is to figure out what the Folk you’re getting to know prefer to be called and stick to that. (Of course this only applies if you’re operating within a paradigm that has similar cultural taboos, but these cultural taboos aren’t uncommon, so it’s worth checking if you don’t already know)

Story time:

I think I've mentioned before that two Folk from the Clan that I'm allied with now were the first spirit encounter that I can remember from my childhood. Their reaction was very much "You can see us!?!?" They clearly weren't used to being noticed by humans. They starting bring others to see me see them. Eventually they brought the leader of their Clan, who became my trusted ally who helped me learn the culture and practice the rules. He was ancient, even by the standard of the Folk (so old he looked look) but he had a soft spot for children, so he was more forgiving and patient of my learning curve than anyone else in the Clan likely would have been. I was working with him at the same time I was studying with mentor, so I would learn spirit work and Otherworldly travel techniques with her, and then practice them on/with him. He treated me like a beloved pet with an amazing repertoire of tricks, and the rest of the Clan treated me like a team mascot. I've grown in skill and power, and for the most part the members of the Clan treat me as an equal now, but there are still a few old timers who still act like I'm their mascot. But I don't begrudge them, change is hard for them.

[greentrickster]

Hello! Huge fan of Saturation, it's basically become a bimonthly read for me.

If it's not too personal to ask, do you also write more conventional fiction, or are you more of a fanfic writer?

Hello! Also wow, I'm flattered to hear you enjoy it so much! Also a touch intimidated, where do you find the time?

Nope, not too personal at all! As it happens, I actually started out writing conventional/original fiction, then shifted into fanfiction over the years (and always have and still occasionally do write original poetry). Actually wrote a short novel from sixth grade to tenth, it's complete but no one online will ever see it, it is very bad and there's stuff in it I don't agree with or find appropriate anymore, but hey, it taught me that I could start something big and finish it, which has been a lesson that's come in handy since. I didn't even get into fanfiction until my last year or two of high school, so I came to it relatively late in life.

The thing is? My favorite pieces of original writing that I've done have always been fanfiction in a way, because I'm very fond of retellings of myths, fairy tales, and folk lore. I like slipping into a pre-existing narrative and doing my own thing with it, whether it be weaving in extra lore or reformatting the entire story. And, honestly? These days I don't see much difference between fanfiction and original fiction, just because I own and know of a lot of what is technically published fanfiction. I've got a Peter Pan prequel about Captain Hook's childhood, a lot of the Dragon Ball manga (which was originally based on Journey to the West), and I'm quite familiar with novels like Wicked, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and the like. As far as I'm concerned, the only difference between stories like these and stories like Saturation is whether copyright law says the writer can officially publish and profit off of them or not.

Technically speaking by everyone else's standards, however? Fanfiction all the way, baby! I take so much more pleasure and satisfaction in it than in more original pieces these days. Like, maybe the odd piece of properly original fiction slips out every now and then, but transformative works are where it's at for me, and I feel no need to change that, now or ever! ^U^

That said, if you'd like to see some of my writing that isn't posted on AO3 and I could technically make money on if I put some effort into it, I have some pieces up on my kofi account for free, it's just in the posts section. There isn't as much up there as I'd like for there to be at the moment, but, like... (gestures at the entire mess that is AI at the moment) I'm really proud of my writing, original or not, and I don't want someone coming along and stuffing it into a generator. :/

[grapenehifics]

Trick or treat! I have a costume on but you can't see it because I've got a giant snowsuit over top in true Canadian Halloween fashion

Ah, in that case I will offer you a steaming mug of hot chocolate or apple cider, your choice, I have both, and also this plot bunny I've had running around my brain for the past couple of days:

Anakin moved to (city housing large university) to attend (said large university) but after a semester or two discovered that formal schooling wasn't doing it for him and he was both making good money with and getting more enjoyment out of his side hustle, custom carpentry, than from his classes and quit, but he still lives in (city). He's had insomnia his whole life and some nights just gives up on sleep and goes out to his backyard/garage converted workshop. There's an old transistor radio out there - maybe it got left behind by the last owners - and he turns it on just to have some background noise while he works.

He's scrolling the dial past all the commercials for personal injury lawyers and lands on some real banger of a song, which he's never heard before but he's into it so he pauses the lathe or whatever he has running and waits to listen for the station to tell him the name of the song so he can look it up later, but after the song ends it pivots straight to some spoken-word poetry thing, and now Anakin's intrigued because, what the hell is this station?

Finally the dj comes on and says okay, folks, that's the end of the show, I'm Ben Kenobi and this has been Guiding Light, thanks for staying up with me. Anakin looks at the dial and realizes he's been listening to the local university student station.

This keeps happening, and Anakin kind of becomes obsessed with Ben Kenobi and Guiding Light. He's only on two or three nights a week, for only a couple of hours at a time, in the middle of the night, and he seems to have no oversight at all because he plays the weirdest mix of stuff - classical, film scores, comedy albums, half of an audiobook, one night he played a Robert Johnson song and then for the next hour nothing but cover versions of that song, the show before Halloween he played the entirety of Orson Welles' War of the Worlds and then one of those 'spooky sounds' albums while reading Edgar Allen Poe short stories on top of it - one time he even said he'd been really caught up in this book he'd been reading and he didn't want to stop long enough to do the show so he was going to give a synopsis of what had happened so far and then read the next chapter out loud on the air. Anakin has no idea what to expect but he knows that he feels less lonely, when Ben is there, and somehow even though Ben has no idea he exists it feels like they're the only two people in the world, out in Anakin's workshop in the middle of the night.

Anakin Googles him, because he's kind of worried that if he's on the university radio station then maybe that means he's some university kid and Anakin has a crush on a nineteen-year-old (even though he doesn't sound anything like a college student), and all he finds is the radio station website, which has a huge page for all their other shows but Guiding Light gets exactly one sentence: "Ben Kenobi has been hosting Guiding Light since 2004". So, probably not a kid, then, but he's got no social whatsoever, no pictures or online presence at all, and Anakin considers driving down to the station but dismisses that as too creepy so he just resigns himself to listening to Ben when he can.

And then one night Ben gets on the air and says, 'I've got nothing planned for tonight and I feel like chatting. Here's the number of the station. Anyone want to talk?'

Anakin swallows, picks up his phone, and dials the number.

[sapphyreopal5]

I’m sorry for being rude in the first ask , you are right maybe I came off hot there and you thought I was attacking your blog.

I’m sorry 😞

My spelling mistakes not only because I don’t know English very well, it’s also because I write fans and angry , I’ll work on that .

Thank you for allowing civil criticism and not blindly follow the actor you favor, like jensen for example, i have no problem calling him out on something that I thought was offensive or tasteless, I don’t see him asa god , but jared’s fans refuse to acknowledge that he is human and does make mistakes and it’s ok .

No they think the best way to defend jared is by going after jensen, like that makes it all right.

Anyway,I’m sorry again and thank you for being class act

Well hello there again Anon, thank you for the apology. As I've said before, I've always been open to discussing criticism and even praise in a civil manner. I am going to have to disagree that Jared stans only go after Jensen to defend him, nor do they all think Jared is a Saint. I don't care for participating in the Jared is better vs Jensen is better social media battle because really, that's an ongoing thing that will just go round and round in a hamster wheel leading no where. I think it's fair like I said Jared felt excluded from TW as it's the so called prequel to the franchise he was a big part of for 15 years along with Jensen. Sure it may have been a business move to do TW but was it a smart one? No, it was poorly executed and also led to a man being struck by lightning who is currently suing Jensen, Danneel and others. Jensen also was rather rude towards those with valid questions about the said prequel. He ended up saying something along the lines of asking people if they were ever fans to begin with when faced with such questions. Plus the whole ignoring the drivers text saying the car was ready at the race track as he talked about at the Charlotte con August 2023, which I actually went to myself. Also, I am gonna say this but Jensen and Misha's YANA in my opinion was 💯 a meek and to ultimately failed attempt to replace Jared's AFK campaign, as it was questionable if Jared was going to leave Supernatural or not. I don't buy the whole "it's clear Jensen didn't want to do it". You're allowed to say no people, you're allowed to say no which Jensen clearly didn't do here....

Jared isn't so innocent either, he too has said and done questionable things. Plenty of people see aware of the public intoxication and assault charges filed against him in October 2019 after he was arrested for such. He had a time in his life where he called out hospitality and customer service departments on social media. One of the waitresses he posted about got death threats. Mind you, I believe she's one of the ones who had her photo included in Jared's post about her "poor service". Now, it's one thing to mention names when making a complaint or bad review. However, to add a photo of the person while doing so is in extremely bad taste. This waitress ended up deleting her online profiles after getting attacked by a lot of Jared fans. He also did this for a man who worked at a Las Vegas casino (included a photo again yes), not sure what exactly happened with him or what the end result is. He also swore to never fly with American Airlines again after a bad experience as well. He even got upset with Verizon Wireless over them requesting to folks a police report for someone making a fraudulent account in his name. He did also insult singer Justin Beiber in the past in multiple posts and Taylor Swift as well, and even wished for Tony Romero to have a career ending injury. I provided some screenshots below that I found throughout various receipts posts. Not gonna lie, this does in a way challenge what his mission with Always Keep Fighting is about. I also am aware of an online bullying video he posted on his Instagram on Oct 10, 2022 I linked to below. I hope this video is a sign he reflected on the errors of his ways from his past behaviors on social media essentially doxxing people.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjiwgGSLj8A/?igsh=c2VwMWMwMnJhZm8w

I will say on a personal note, I certainly care about this tidbit for multiple reasons, including a personal incident that happened to me in high school. (EDIT: added 30 min after initially posting, personal story): One of the so called "popular girls" in my school answered a series of questions on a Myspace bulletin, one of which was something like "if you were to shoot anyone who would it be and why?" To which she responded my first and last name "because she talks to herself and is annoying", way to spread rumors about me saying false things about me and threatening my life. Needless to say we had an unpleasant confrontation in gym class a few days later and I admittedly told her she's not worth time in prison. She started shaking and said "well geez it was just a joke", "you don't joke about things like killing people D". Interestingly enough, she apparently lost her right leg after falling in her backyard tripping over a rock (multiple surgeries and almost died twice in the process) actually in mid August 2022, the same year Jared got into his car accident back in April 2022. But that can't be a coincidence on her part, they have to be separate things and not karma surely enough right?

Now, I don't hate Jared. In fact, I like Jared overall but I will say he is an impulsive character who has lashed out online at times both BEFORE and AFTER his breakdown in 2015. Rumor has it he went to a facility for a couple weeks to a month or so. I say this did NOT help him in the long run clearly. The people like Gen who probably convinced him to go to said facility have no sense of discernment in determining whether it would actually benefit someone with suicidal ideation and such to go to such a facility. My senses tell me this was greatly detrimental in the long run and clearly had no longer term benefits. To me, the above things I mentioned and other things I mentioned in other posts seems to point to my being right in my assessment here. It seems Jared is still troubled to this day with anxiety and depression 💯

I think he struggles more with anxiety than depression based on what I've read in his chapter in that book Family Don't End with Blood along with how he talks and expresses himself and such. Yes he has symptoms and signs of both but anxiety seems more dominant than depression, which he was initially diagnosed with in 2007. He's often described as a worry wart and cares very much what people think of him. He even used to get anxiety with cons and such when he first started out doing them. Anxiety is characterized more with feelings like fearfulness, paranoia, extreme stress, sense of dead, worry or apprehension, tightness in chest, etc.

I myself was diagnosed with depression in 2006 probably about 14 months before Jared was, as I attempted suicide via overdose at the age of 15 on 9/18/2006, which actually was only a year and 5 days after Supernatural first aired on 9/13/2005. I mention this because Jared described his suicidal ideation during his 2015 breakdown as more or less an intrusive thought and ended up feeling fearful he would do so and didn't want to burden his wife or friend Brian with being the last persons that he spoke to, or his kids being without a dad type of deal. In my case, I was very convinced by my brain that I was better off dead, the world would be better off without me, etc. I still at times am consumed with thoughts about dying and leaving this world behind, this "stupid rock" as I so affectionately call it at times ha ha. Depression is really more or less accompanied by things like disinterest in things, guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, etc. Both conditions can lead to decrease in energy levels, over- or under- sleeping, irritability or anger, problems concentrating, etc.

They coexist a lot but do you see why I am saying he seems more anxious than depressed? No mental illness, be it anxiety, depression, etc. can excuse his poor behaviors whatsoever, same with Jensen and anyone else. Now Anon, do you see that I have my criticisms of both and also praises of both J2?

Instead of sending me more anonymous asks and risking having more people go after you in reblogs and whatnot, I encourage you to send me a PM. Anything you say to me is between us if that is what you'd like.

[writers4life]

Advice For New Writers

Writing is the long game. I've been passionate about writing for around ten years and I'm still a beginner, but I have some useful tips I've picked up that ACTUALLY help you write. So in no particular order...

1. Stop thinking your writing is fragile.

You might have the best idea of your life and jump in full steam ahead, when suddenly you see someone online criticising a genre, or your friend says "sci fi isn't my thing" or you decide that no one will like your book, that it's too tropey, or something like that, so you completely ditch the idea and move on to something new. This isn't going to help you write! You can never write something that everyone likes, so focus on writing something that you want to write for whatever your reasons are. There are some people who like romance, some people like historical fiction, etc. You can't listen to everyone. If you decide you don't like something about your story, CHANGE IT. You're the author, you get to make decision, and change and edit things, and that's fine. Just keep working on it.

2. Write from life doesn't mean write your autobiography.

Most writers will have had people tell them "write what you know," or "draw from your own experiences," and this can be really annoying. When you want to write an epic high fantasy and your relative tells you to "write what you know" it's not very encouraging. But I have a different take on the advice. Rather than writing a play-by-play of your real life, or writing about something mundane that happened to you, take the metaphorical and abstract instead of the literal. If writing about your real life isn't working, instead write a fictional version of something. Example: instead of writing about the event you went to where you hung out with one person because neither of you liked it, write about a character finding friendship when another character is also struggling during a fantasy apocalypse. Change the setting to fit your novel, then take the bones of the thought, the feelings or the interactions, and put it in your story. This will help you make it more real and human, or elf if that's your jam.

3. Keep a journal.

Planning your novel with a word doc dedicated to it and specific plot points can often be stressful because of the pressure to get it right. So instead, keep a journal in which you can write about anything, including your novel or story. This way you can explore ideas and write anything related to them, and get in a creative state where you're more free to brainstorm. You can also write about your life here and use this to feed your writing, by taking bits of your life that you wrote down and translating them to your novel.

4. Break it down to small tasks.

It can be hard to beat procrastination, and sometimes the best way is to break it down into simple tasks. People tell you this all the time, like "break it down to small tasks, just write a chapter and then you'll have one more chapter," but that's not helpful when you're a grade A procrastinator like myself. I mean REALLY SMALL tasks. Just think of a sentence in your head for the next part of your novel, and write it down. Just write at least one word.

That's all folks. Happy writing!!

[ingravinoveritas]

u know michael has spoken out against people bashing/speculating about his relationship and anna multiple times right? even blocking some “fans” for doing so

Hello, Anon. I'm guessing this is in response to this Anon, which I answered recently.

I'd first like to clarify one point, which is that I don't consider what I wrote to be "bashing" Michael's relationship. I've noticed that people seem to characterize any commentary that isn't enthusiastic, over-the-top praise as "bashing," which in turn leaves no room for nuanced conversation, which is what I was trying to do with that post, by responding to a question that I felt I could answer.

Second, there are only two instances I am aware of involving Michael speaking out about or blocking people for talking about his relationship with AL. One occurred four years ago and sounds as if he was under tremendous pressure/had no other choice. The other took place three years ago, and what I think often gets overlooked is that this was during lockdown, when Michael was already not in the best frame of mind. It was a time I seem to keep seeing folks on Twitter refer to as "feral Michael" (such as the incident where he had an interaction with a fan over the bees in his house), but that I think is more accurately described as "unhinged."

The distinction between the two is that "feral Michael" is the Michael who was on the GO press tour making cheeky comments about Aziraphale and Crowley and brazenly flirting with David and basically being the world's biggest Ineffable Husbands shipper. "Unhinged" Michael was the side of him we saw during the pandemic, and the very difficult time we were all having. He was clearly, visibly depressed and struggling (it was especially noticeable during the second season of Staged), and it was frustrating to see everyone ignore that, and seemingly still ignoring it three years later.

That being said, aside from the above mentioned incidents, I'm having a difficult time recalling Michael ever speaking about his relationship with Anna, let alone defending it. He's talked about her during paid interviews, where the interviewer prompts him to do so (such as in the PR pieces that were published in the Australian media ahead of him appearing in Amadeus a few months ago, and this interview promoting LTTC at the end of 2021), but he has not and does not bring her up unprompted. (Again, in sharp contrast to how he constantly brings up David in multiple interviews without the interviewer even saying a word.)

There were also multiple opportunities for Michael to talk about AL publicly on social media over the past few years, and yet he's seemingly chosen not to do that. He didn't promote LTTC with her (and in fact if you look at their tweets promoting the film side-by-side, there is a stark difference). He didn't mention her or their appearance together in that one episode of Sandman, and he didn't at all promote Staged 3, which was released with almost no advanced notice in November of last year and has barely been talked about since.

I have to admit something, Anon: I am disappointed. You could have come in here and said you disagreed with me, and that would've been absolutely fine. I'm always open to hearing other opinions and people who don't agree with me, and we could have had a discussion and shared opinions in a constructive way. But when you come in here without any receipts and make comments that sound a lot like barely veiled threats, I know that your aim is to intimidate and shut me down, because you want me to stop talking.

I believe that Michael is welcome to cultivate his online space, and so are we all. My intention is to keep a respectful dialogue going because I don't believe shutting people down is the answer. I'd love for you to be a part of that, Anon...but if you don't happen to like what I am writing, it costs nothing at all just to block me and move on.

[rasp-passion-tea]

A small (big) update/catch-up post for anyone curious on where I've been and where I'll be:

*rides in on a skateboard with sunglasses and a mocktail in hand* yo

The past couple of years, I've been pretty M.I.A. I'd feel bad if I'd have any remaining folks who cared about me are left in the dark (as much as that anxious part of me will try to convince myself otherwise, I did build genuine connections on here 🥰). There also just might happen to be old inactive friends of mine who might randomly wonder where that random raspberry girl on tumblr ended up only to come back to see that she might've disappeared,,, or been sold on the dark web 🧐. There could also be any eventual new people to our small community to wonder that. So y’know what 🤔 I'll keep a little post up top so people can know (also, it'd be nice to give a speech once more to my imaginary audience c:)

With that said, I'll ramble about sum up under the cut:

So, where ya been, Rasp?

Well, to start things off, I'm doing really good :D looking back, I might've given people the vibe I was majorly depressed and that might've woried some people 🥲 it was never anything major, but I was still dealing with some teenage girl stuff, and this blog and ship and the fanbase I joined because of it became my mini safe spot. Simply put, I didn't have any sources to be able to properly word that to. I have that now and feel much more grounded and capable, and that's all I could've wanted years ago :)

You might've already guessed, but I've been busy lately, with adult stuff specifically. Yup, the fandoms resident little sister is grown now. She's working!! And she's in college!!! Wow!!1! I HAVE BASICALLY NO MORE FREE TIME!!!!!!!11! :DDD That, and a bunch of other reasons have made it harder to focus on one thing at a time, which is why I've been pretty scarce on this app, and online on general.

Soooo how ya been then, Rasp?

Uhhh... good question. Fine, I suppose 😗 kinda just existing right now. I have a feeling a lot of that has to do with me being unmediacted at the moment, so I haven't been able to do a lot of the things I love the past few years. Sooo... if you're wondering why I never posted those fics I teased in the past, that's why 🥲 I have a feeling I will one day, though. Just a matter of time. Speaking of, let's go into my last point:

Does that mean you're abandoning this account, Rasp?? ☹️

Mmm not quite. I've been popping in every couple of months, and I might keep doing that. But I definitely won't be as active as I used to. Couple reasons:

I mentioned a lot of reasons why, but I've been. Very busy 🥲 being online hasn't been at the forefront of my mind lately, so I've decided to not stress about it right now. Like I mentioned before, I'd like to come back to all this one day, but that's not now. Speaking of:

As much as I feel bad saying this, once the show ended, the ship and its fandom got really quiet. For me that makes it harder to participate in things if there's not a large community. I've joined other fandoms cuz of that, but not like this one... this fandom was special...... *looks off into the distance*

Bonus reason that ties into the last one: a lot of my friends are inactive with me not having any way to reach out, and that makes meeee very sadddd 😔 So if anyone I've met happens to see this:

...heyyy 🤪 I hope you got something out of this post,,,, like I said before, I'm unmedicated and have been very scatterbrained recently, but I tried to make this as cohesive as possible 😭 guess to end this off I'll link some other socials:

My side blog: rasp-passion-two

(Also pretty inactive on there, but if you wanna see what I've been into lately, that's the spot (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty sure I never ended up sharing it fsr lol)

My discord: rasp-passion tea#5877

(I'm not active in servers anymore cuz I think I grew out of using discord, but if you wanna chat? Let's chat (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ we could also do it on here but vsiwjsisvqisgwu)

...that's it lol. I think I'm kind of an enigma on here now, but thats alright. Uhhhh not sure how to "close" this off, so I guess I'll just say: if you read this whole thing?

🤍🖤🩶

^me rn

I'll see you all when I see you, but I'll always be here!!

~Tayah, AKA Rasp (and yes, it's pronounced "Razz" 😤👋🏽)