#because if they keep relying on the same people to cover and save the day they’re gonna get fed up and burnt out

[therealjammy]

Co-worker and I bonded this morning over how she and I are always the ones who get called in early to cover people’s shifts that they dropped suddenly due to illness (which you shouldn’t come into work sick anyways) and the fact that no one would do the same for either of us

And apparently no one covered any of my shifts while I was on vacation; the general manager didn’t schedule anyone to, meanwhile all last week I was covering someone who was on vacation

I’m starting to get real fed up with this, honestly; I’m a giver by nature but sometimes the giver wants things to be given to them in return and for things to be two-sided every now and again

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE ALL MIGHT HEADCANONS

1. He is possessive and delusional ASF with a CAPITAL D

2. His crazy obsession starts when he firsts meets you. He wouldn't give a DAMN if you were a hero, or a villain or a civilian. After he lays his eyes on you, he starts to stalk you since he's convincing himself that he's ''keeping you safe'' and he's doing this just to protect you

3. He thinks you're a goddess/god and loves absolutely EVERYTHING about you. Don't be surprised if this whackadoodle has a FREAKING SHRINE dedicated for you

4. He slowly starts bumping into you accidentally, after stalking you for days and finding out where all you like to go. ''Oh hey, you like going to this cafe too? Same here! Maybe we can go grab a drink or something~''

5. He'd ask you questions that he already knows the answers to, but would still pretend to be shell shocked like a fish out of water when you tell him whatever he wants to know

6. Pretty soon, you both become good friends and you start to enjoy hanging out with him, but this was just phase 1 of his nutty plan. But soon, you started to feel like someone was watching you every now and then and you would get this uneasy feeling about it, but you would brush it off saying it was nothing and convinced yourself that everything was fine

7. Since you always hang out with him, you also see his skinny might figure as well, but you don't judge him about it. Sure, you were surprised but you were also laid back and chill and that was what All might liked even MORE about you and made him love you more

8. His obsession and concern for you will grow within a couple of months. What if you're not safe while he's doing his hero work? What if someone tries to kidnap you and hurt you? So, he'd do the logical thing EVERY hero would do. He'd become YOUR hero and swoop down and ''save'' you from whatever danger your in. How? By, kidnapping you and taking you to a penthouse or a large mansion or something. Don't worry, he won't chain you

9. If you try escaping from him, he won't do anything THAT drastic since he can't BEAR hurting his darling angel, so he'll emotionally manipulate you and feed you lies so that you can now rely only on HIM and no one else

10. He won't use your fears against you but if you drive him over the edge, he WILL do it as punishment. You can never escape him and expect him to be covered in blood after a long day's of hardwork of murdering his potential enemies and rivals who will take you away from him. No one will EVER suspect that All Might is going on killing sprees, because the idea and the thought of the Symbol of Peace killing people because of one person? PUH-LEEZE. And he'll make sure that EVERYTHING is hidden from the press and the media 

11. You rarely ever get you ''me time'' since he's ALWAYS doting on you, cuddling you, spoiling the HELL out of you and basically clinging onto you 24/7 out of all the 365 days

''My angel, I will keep you safe no matter what~''

[seuonji]

彡 as long as you're here, i can endure it. — yoon jeonghan

—office worker au! desk neighbour jeonghan.

notes ๑ gn!reader. oneshot. alt title: 9-5 jobs suck

genre ๑ fluff to angst.

warnings ๑ smoking (i don’t support smoking but it’s for the plot.)

word count ๑ 1k

from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3

the agonising sound of keyboard clicks, printers printing, and overlapped conversations rang in your ear. overwhelmed, you curled into your arms and let out a distressed exhale. you covered your ears and for a while it was tranquil.

only for a while.

“ynnnn let’s go for a smoke,” your desk neighbour, yoon jeonghan casually tugged at your sleeve without looking away from his screen. one of his hands held his cigarette pack and a lighter. even with the bulk, he was still typing like he normally would. you squinted your eyes at his laid-back nuance but did not have the energy to point out his weird skill.

you took a peek to your screen and it seemed like a good time to take a break anyway so you fulfilled his demands and got up from your seat. you waited and adjusted your clothes, standing beside jeonghan who was finishing up to his goal.

"alright, let's go!" he practically jumped out of his seat after saving his work.

+

as you reached your designated smoking spot which was just the rooftop of the building, you embraced the breeze that greeted you. you held onto the railings and looked down at the semi-dead street, wishing you were down there catching a taxi that was headed to home.

jeonghan plucked two cigarettes from the pack and positioned one in between your lips. he sparked a flame and lit his cigarette before leaning closer to you. he held your chin and as the tips of your cigarette touched, your cigarette ignited.

“9-5 jobs suck,” you exhaled expressing your disdain for your current life situation. “did someone not warn you beforehand?” jeonghan chuckled before continuing, “i think even pre-schoolers know that.”

“i'm probably just tired of how works getting repetitive," you sighed before turning to him and asking, “how are you holding on?“

“i’m fine, i really don't mind this line of work,” he took another puff, eyes squinted because of the sun targeting his face.

“really? i would've suspected that you'd hate this job more than me."

he seemed taken aback by your statement, "do you know me enough to assume things like that?"

you pouted defeatedly and nodded in agreement. he had a point, your 'relationship' with him had only begun a few months ago and there was only so much you could know about him.

-

you and jeonghan were the newest employees of the company who had started on the same day. overtime when you started to get comfortable working there, you coincidentally ran into him on the roof. both of you knew you were there for the same reasons.

since then you two have gotten closer. you two would only rely on each other, even occasionally grabbing lunch together on your accord but most of all you two always spent your breaks smoking together.

-

“just assuming from what i’ve observed so far,” you answered, pinching the smoke in between your fingers.

“you’ve been observing me?” he said cheekily.

“barely,” you sternly say while rolling your eyes.

he was humored by your expression. moving closer, he closed the distance between you and him and leaned on the railing right by you. his shoulder grazed against yours and you jolted at the sudden physical contact but tried to hide your reaction.

you cleared your throat to fill the silence, “so, what do you like about this dreadful 9-5?”

“well...it’s a bit flexible in terms of schedule. the food in the cafeteria sucks though and the people in our unit are kinda incompetent, except for me of course. the air conditioning system is quite good but it gets stuffy at times. another thing, they seriously need to upgrade the machines and technology, the printer keeps jamming on me—“

you softly smacked his arm cutting him off, “you are describing it how a person who hates this job would.”

he sneered as he looked off into the distance as if he was in a movie. he had a slight grin on his face as he truly answered your question,

“i don’t mind this job because i met you in the process."

you were in the middle of taking a drag from your cigarette when he said that. caught off guard by his words, you profusely started to choke on the smoke. “yn? you good??” he worriedly called your name and patted your back, as if that would help.

“i’m good—” you said in between coughs. "do you want me to get your water?" he bent down to your level, still patting your back.

“it's okay, we’ve got to get back to work anyways," you weakly said as you walked towards the exit door.

you faced your colleague and kept up an energy despite your throat literally dying from the inside, "come on now, i’ll make fun of you if you work overtime again," you joked, silently changing the subject.

he shook his head in disbelief and laughed as he walked towards you.

you threw your cigarette into the ashtray and opened the door to the stairs. jeonghan followed behind you disposing his cigarette before placing his hands into his pockets.

+

as you both settled down at your desks, you shared a smile with him before silently getting immersed in your work. in spite of that, some parts of you drifted into thought.

on your side, you thought that if you knew any less, you would've assumed jeonghan had feelings for you with the way he worded that answer. it wasn’t possible, he meant it in the friendship way, right?

on jeonghan's side, he was a bit disappointed, he thought today was the day he could finally confess. maybe he should’ve been a bit more direct, or was it too soon?

overall he didn’t fret much, he gets it if it was a topic you weren’t ready for. for now, as long as he had you as his desk buddy who would smoke with him in any given moment, that was enough for him. sooner or later, he knew he could eventually work his way up to being something more than someone who just smokes and gossips with you.

-

that was what he thought, until he saw your phone one day. he happened to glance at it when it was near his side. it had just received a notification from a sender under the name, “shua” followed by a pink heart. he even caught a glimpse of your smile when your eyes saw the notification.

suddenly, everything in the world clicked but for jeonghan, everything had shattered.

「shua💓: hi my love! i’ll be home early today, what do you wanna have for dinner tonight?」

[jahayla-parker]

💭Headcanon: send in a character and a scenario or type of reader to get a bullet point list of thoughts on it.

okay okay, kaz brekker x sister!reader

Kaz Brekker's Sister Headcannons

I feel like his sister would be the youngest (born after both Jordie and Kaz). 'Cause part of his trauma is being afraid to rely on someone older who he thought would take care of him.

Running with that thought, Kaz would take that ^^^ type of role towards his sister very seriously. He vowed he wouldn’t let her down the way Jordie let him down (don’t come for me! His internal thoughts mention this frustration in the books so it’s canon).

We know Kaz is obviously very protective over those he cares about, which would undoubtedly extend to his sister. But, his role as the older brother added to that. And his disappointment and anger towards Jordie’s role in what happened ask those years ago, added to that as well; he wasn’t going to do that to his sister.

Although, he knew it wasn’t something he could prevent. Since it already happened to her once; the same day it happened to him. Jordie was her older brother as well. But Kaz nevertheless vowed to never let her down.

Kaz vowed to never make her have to worry about or even question having a roof over her head, a warm room to sleep in, food , etc.

He kept a healer on hand should she get sick ever (even so much as a cold). He wasn’t taking any chances. While he refused to let healers touch him he required it for her wellbeing.

She never had to worry about her safety. He’d taught her how to defend herself, how to fight, kill, etc.

He kept her from having to experience the financial difficulties he was old enough to experience due to Jordie’s deal with Rollins and as they aged, he made sure it stayed that way now that she was old enough to be able to know if that was the case as he made sure they always had enough funds saved up and the means to get more some should it be needed.

Kaz would’ve been so upset when his sister became ill, to the point it inadvertently made himself much sicker from stress.

Kaz tried to do whatever he could to get her feeling better, giving any scraps of sustenance to her instead of taking his portion/share and using their only blanket to cover more of her body by not covering any of his.

It would only have driven his anger against Pekka even further because he not only lost his older brother, he almost lost his little sister and he watched her suffer the loss of jordie as well

Given she was so young (given the age gap between Jordie and Kaz at the time of incident, I’m assuming she’s roughly 7 ish), it was a lot to process and try to make sense of

And poor Kaz wasn’t much better at that; certainly not to the point he’d be able to be much help for her in this area

As such, he resorted to simply helping raise her as if this new life was simply how their lives had always been

Because he’d used the blanket on her and not himself, and had literally given her some of the clothing off his back to keep her from freezing to death, she’d managed to survive the night.

In fact, while her body was too hypothermic to wake up when the medics came through and took her brothers, she was fortunate enough to be just warm enough to not be considered dead the way Kaz was, and as such, wasn’t dumped in the harbor with Jordie.

As such, she didn't develop the trauma with touch like Kaz

But, it was her presence on land that truly drove Kaz’s survival.

His body was giving up and he wanted nothing more than to just give in

And he especially didn’t want to have to use his brother’s body as a flotation mechanism in order to survive

But his vengeance and his inherent need to protect his little sister drove him

We know Kaz is shit when it comes to being around sick people now (understandably) but the one exception would be his sister should she fall ill.

That’s not to say he wasn’t still horrible at handling it, or that he wouldn’t go into a full on panic spiral at the tiniest sign of her getting sick

But, he was also unable to pull himself from her side until she healed.

He refused to ever risk being away from her while she was ill ever again.

As far as his touch phobia, that undoubtedly extended to his sister as well, although he truly hated himself for it (more so than when it came to his touch phobia in general).

But, it was out of his control. Besides things got better with time.

It started rough and killed his spirit each time when his little 7yr old sister wanted to hold her surviving brother’s hand while walking through the “scary” streets of the Barrel or otherwise simply sought physical comfort from him.

Especially because he’d once been able to offer that to her and he knew she was old enough to remember that and he saw the clear proof of that in her sad eyes every time he pulled away

But by that point, he’d suffered the worst of it. So he knew they’d power through

The worst was when he made it back to her and he’d had to explain to her that jordie was not coming back. As if her sobs and screams weren’t painful enough for Kaz, she tried to cling onto him for support, only to find herself confused and more distraught when he scrambled away

With time, the two orphans inevitably took over the town.

At first Kaz wouldn’t let his sister get involved

Until he realized that was futile, especially if he wanted her to start safe

He had caught her defiantly trying to help on her own, so he eventually caved and taught her everything she needed to now how to do and brought her into the business

Inej and Kaz’s interaction about crows was actually similar to what happened with his sister years before and that’s what made him choose to name their new elite crewmembers and dare his sister say friends, his crows.

Kaz used his power in the Barrel to create a safety shield around his sister

He knew she was a vulnerability to him and in turn was at risk by association, so most people didn’t know she was his sister

She’d been hurt at first when he told her this was how they’d go about their new life, after all, she was so young and didn’t understand but he did it for her sake

And if people did find out about them being siblings, they’d assume that she and Kaz must not be as close as normal siblings because they saw the business relationship only and assumed that’s all there was between them even when finding out about the blood relation (it helped that Kaz always made a name for himself as someone who didn’t care about anyone else), which worked to keep people from using her as bait or something against Kaz. Which was what he’d masterminded of course.

She was 7 so she didn’t understand the need to change their last names and start fresh but she trusted Kaz fully

She is and was the only person he ever took flack from and or allowed/allows to yell or argue etc with him but only in private

Kaz knew his sister would be struggling with Jordie’s death, as he himself was and still is

But he knew he was not going to be much help

He did as much as he could, if she’d suffered anxiety or panic attacks, he was there to offer verbal assistance and support

And he helped her take part in getting revenge for what they went through

But he couldn’t talk about it. It was still too much and talking was no longer a strength of his.

He couldn’t talk to her when she was younger as he needed her to simply follow along with what he said and believe this was just the way things went all along

But as they got older he still found himself unable to talk to her about it

But that’s why he finally told Inej just enough for her to know that his sister would be having similar issues as him since she was so worried about his behaviors and in turn, he knew Inej would go to her and be able to offer the support he couldn’t

Again, I could go on and on, but I loved this idea!

Kaz Taglist: @dil3mma @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @winstonthecow22 @alex-kazbrekkersimp @wolfmoonmusic @phoenix666stuff @kentucky-criedfricken @twlegit @valeridarkness @shara-ne @crazyhearttragedy @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @el-de-phi @adalia-jaycee @bookloverfilmoholic @beekeepingageissome

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[good-beans]

hi beans!!! I saw your tags on my poll and I have to ask... Murder Swap AU for milgram??? 👀👀👀👀

I am very intrigued and I don't know if you've mentioned it somewhere before but I'd love to learn more about it if that's okay!! 💜

(also random side note thank u for ur lovely comments about my ocs they make me smile so much awawaaa okay bye--)

Ahhh yes!! ☺️Thanks for asking wahh, I didn't realize people would be curious ;-; Unfortunately it's not any kind of fully fleshed out au story or anything, just something that I have one post about and personally bounce around in my head a lot. It's a fun character exercise for me, seeing what's core to a character, what's a core to a crime, and the similarities/differences between the prisoners. It was supposed to have fun art for it, but somebody keeps putting it off *gives myself a pointed look*

The original post is here, though this has nudged me to make some updates! With their new videos, I now know more to modify Shidou/Mahiru's. It was necessary because of the ages, but I wasn't satisfied with Kotoko's, so I gave her another one here. And Kazui/Haruka's changed now that I have a clearer idea of Kazui's crime. (I know Cat isn't out yet but when I wrote the first post I thought Kazui's murder had been neglect-based -- he left his wife in the path of danger and wasn't there to help because they'd drifted apart. Now that I've looked deeper into his story I see it's different...)

Doctor Mahiru is very much the same, except this time she did start her family with her boyfriend/now husband -- she has the older daughter and younger son she always dreamed of. They're like a picture out of a magazine, or her romance novels. The perfect happy family. And then the accident strikes, and she has sixteen days to make a choice to save one of them by sacrificing another. She was also taking organs from patients prior to this, but saw everything through her painfully optimistic lens. She was saving lives. She was the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect doctor. It isn't until she does the same to her own family that she realizes what a horrible act she's been committing.

Shidou is deeply and madly in love with his girlfriend he met when moving to the city, but he still has a tendency for deception and distraction. (He mentions in one of his questions that his wife takes charge with a lot of the care at home and he relies on her) in the au, he'd be equally reliant on her but always painting things perfectly. He twists truths and hides mistakes to convince her everything is perfect, even though she's struggling with her own pain and seeing the cracks in their relationship. He hears her mention suicidal thoughts, but buries them -- and any trace of negativity -- with grand stretched truths of how perfect everything is. He ignores the signs until it's too late.

(Half the fun is the aesthetic swapping, but I realized that Shidou's also works if he was still a doctor lol. He's so caught up in monitoring her physical health every time she complains of struggling, but doesn't take into account her mental strain. He treats her like a patient, only looking at physical symptoms, misleading her and himself about the reality of her emotions)

So yeah, I originally needed Kotoko to swap with Yuno since the other girls are too young (and Mahiru was already taken). Still, it felt weird removing her drive for justice, especially seeing how Harrow/Deep Cover hints that she lives for this purpose alone. I realized she could be cool to swap with Shidou -- and she protects the weak by saving everyone no matter the cost. She believes in her heart that the ends justify the means every time. She will be the fang for those who can't advocate for themselves, that's justice to her. I've seen some theories about lost family members as the wolves in her mv, so it would be those people in her "pack" that she kills/saves to make her second guess her work.

Haruka always had trouble expressing his emotions. Though his parents weren't outright abusive, they didn't know how to deal with any neurodivergence in their children, and couldn't help him when he had trouble communicating. They force him to take up theater in school to help him open up, but it only makes him better at acting and hiding his true self. He's awkward and shy, but found that lying could save him from many unwanted circumstances. He constantly lies to his sister as he grows more distant from his family. She discovers the shocking truth to one of these, leading to an emotional confrontation. After so much time bottling himself up, hiding behind masks, the only way he manages to communicate is in an explosive way, and the accident ensues.

And okay, I said it jokingly at first, but I actually think it'd work if Es and Jackalope swapped. The knowledgeable voice of the project is calm and serious. Es remains mysterious, and tells us to take our duty very seriously. But of course we haven't 100% done that -- an anime's fandom is definitely better portrayed by the cheeky rabbit willing to make judgements for whatever personal reasons come to mind first

[petruchio]

Oh my god the moon thing? Yeah let’s unpack because I think you’ve found a gem here?

For sure I see the Katniss Diana connection you are making!! She’s the best hunter with a bow (maybe in all of Panem) and as you pointed out she stays thinking about the moon.

Diana is a practical and pragmatic deity. There are tons of stories of Greek and Roman gods’ infidelity, jealousy, drama, etc. But the stories I know about Artemis/Diana always center around justice for young girls (including herself) or hunting legendary creatures.

Even just being the Goddess of such a practical every-man activity (as opposed to being the deity of parties or “being in charge.”) is very Katniss! And something about being put on a pedestal and celebrated by an audience? Existing in a pantheon of performers with varying degrees of power and commonality with you?

But really I think the moon connection is the most meaningful here, and there’s an interesting connection with night in general! Something something, she comes alive at night, something something surveillance state?

During the day Katniss works and interacts in the district (always wearing her indifferent mask) but at evening/night she’s at home with Prim (the only place she lets down the mask.)

In the games she’s still more comfortable at night (daring to sleep), relying on the cover of darkness to keep her safe. It also protects her from the surveillance as well, she can finally hide her face under the covers. I think she even mentions some of her kisses with Peeta at night being meaningful because they probably can’t be seen by lack of light? (Idk fact check me on that one)

The moon is how Katniss (who’s lucky to get a few hours of electricity in the evenings) navigates her world during the moments when she is most free. I think night is when she’s most confident, most daring, and most likely to be herself!

She even pulls out the berries at night, without a thought to the implications. Understanding that rule breakers are punished is a day time masked Katniss thought, but this is Katniss at home, at night, under the moon with someone she loves.

Idk?? What do you think bestie?

ooooooh loving ALL of this!!

i want to dig more into the artemis/diana connection -- i love the idea of katniss as the the goddess of the moon, the goddess of the hunt. it has to be intentional -- we KNOW sc makes tons of references to classical mythology in thg. i love your connection of diana's stories surrounding "justice for young girls" because what drives so much of katniss' behavior is her desire for justice for the young girls she so badly wants to protect (prim and rue) (also diana is the goddess of childbirth -- thinking about katniss and her struggle throughout the novels with whether or not she feels comfortable bringing children into a world suffering beneath an oppressive regime -- i think there's definitely something there too!) but then i love the way you're also thinking of the concept of "being deified" in a metaphorical way as well -- because katniss DOES become a goddess. katniss' image becomes something beyond katniss herself, she does become a "deity" in the sense that she becomes a symbol of something (or the symbol of many things, to many people) rather than a human being. (also i'm on the wikipedia page for diana and apparently in classical times one of her sacred places was ... a lake. GUYS.)

i'm super intrigued by this idea that katniss is most herself at night -- i'm inclined to agree with you and i like all the examples you brought out. and can we also tease out a connection to those most perfect opening lines: "when i wake up, the other side of the bed is cold." if katniss is most herself at night, is it not so poetically beautiful that the story begins when she *wakes up*!? the whole story being one that is, in a sense, an "awakening" to discover that prim is gone? that she was never going to be saved? AAH!

and also along the same lines -- thinking about katniss and her relationship to the night -- can we think about the night vision goggles from the first book! because she encounters them early on but doesn't understand their significance until RUE explains them to her? so something something something seeing through the dark, rue being the person to illuminate the path forward and set into motion the events that will define the rest of the books? !!!! and to your point that she pulls out the berries at night -- YES. the berries that are called ...?? NIGHTlock?

i'd also be intrigued to dig more into references to the sun in the books if we're exploring this night/moon symbolism. the most obvious that i can think of is when she "transforms" into the girl on fire, she thinks to herself "i am as radiant as the sun" but then she also says she looks like a "creature from another world." so to that point, if katniss is aligned with the moon, then of course when she identifies herself as being as "radiant as the sun" we're meant to understand that she is NOT herself when she is dressed up like that. that moment is when katniss is at her least authentic, her least REAL. (and then there's something to be said about fire itself here in context of the night as well: fire as something that brings light and warmth to cold, dark nights. and we know that "peeta is a whiz with fires" from the first book.)

OH and if we're going into katniss at NIGHT there's just so much to dig into wrt to her relationship to peeta. of course there's the quote that i pulled out about their final night in the arena when he has her look at the moon and "acknowledge its progress" (there's a great meta on tumblr about that line and how peeta gives her hope in her darkest times and forces her to acknowledge the progress of the world around her -- it's one of my favorite lines in the book although it goes by so quick when you're reading.) but then there's so much more: there's the fact that their "piece in the games" conversation happens at night, the night before the games. then in cf, there's the "nights" on the train -- and wouldn't we say that's when she and peeta are at their most "real" with each other? stripped of any of the costume and performance of their relationship during the rest of the victory tour? and the fact that the moment she accepts her genuine love for him is "on the night i feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach" -- it's night when she finally accepts and acknowledges that things are REAL? (also how have i never noticed that the whole trilogy opens with her waking up and closes with the night? UGH why is everything in thg so perfect??)

also in my moon research i just found this blog post from 2011 about the moth that land's on katniss' wrist in the first book. and of course there's a lot to be said about moths and the night and the moon but the author of the blog post identifies that the particular green and silver moth is a kind of moth called... get this... a LUNA moth. a MOON MOTH. THE MOON. i'm having a meltdown.

[cittielinks]

(read at your own discretion, some parts may be triggering)

Where Kim Dokja failed a scenario and as punishment he was converted into his 10-year-old self. 

Everyone thought he’d be a cheeky little brat who has the wits and would be super uncute. But when the white smoke disappeared what they saw was a boy, who looked like seven covered with bruises and marks and messily bandaged wounds, wearing a shirt too big for his size.

What sets them off was how dull his eyes looked as he stared at them. Jung Heewon hastily told Biyoo to shut off the channel. 

No one muttered a word, so afraid that this boy would run away like their Kim Dokja. It was the tiny Kim Dokja who talked first.

His voice was raspy, dull, and monotoned, no one could guess what he was feeling. 

“Are you going to hurt me too?” He muttered, still no emotion whatsoever.  

Everyone’s breath hitched. What did he mean when he said those words? 

“N-No! We don’t want to hur—“

Yoo Sangah tried to rely softly but was cut off the Kim Dokja. 

“Liar.” He said monotonously. 

“That’s what they all said, then they beat me up and locked me inside the drawer.” He added, shrugging as he backs away a bit. 

No one could have prepared for what he had said afterward.

“Do you want me to punch myself? Burn my hands with your cigarettes and beat me into a pulp too? Please do it quick I need to go back or else I’ll be sleeping outside my aunt’s house again.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands were trembling he wanted to hug Kim Dokja so badly but he knew that would end horribly. Everyone’s expression was so hard, if only they met a little bit sooner, they could’ve saved him too. 

—

It took a lot while to let 10 yr old! Kim Dokja know that they were not a threat. It was Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung who talked to Kim Dokja properly because this Kim Dokja never trusted adults. And he finally agreed to let them take him to their complex. He was sticking close to his gilyoung-hyung and yoosung-noona.

He would always flinch whenever adults tried to talk to him, or when he hears loud noises ranging from loud screams or loud screeching.

When it was around dinner time, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to cook porridge making sure Kim Dokja’s body would adjust. But he never came to the dining table.

Jung Heewon looked at the children and shook their heads, Yoo Joonghyuk sighed and went out to find the kid.

He found Kim Dokja outside the complex, holding a tissue paper. When Kim Dokja was about to eat the paper, Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his arms before he could do so.

Kim Dokja flinched and looked at Yoo Joonghyuk in fear. Yoo Joonghyuk quickly lets go and gives the child enough space.

“What are you doing with the tissue paper?” he asked softly, trying not to scare the child. 

“….dinner.” 

“Can you repeat that?”

“My dinner, I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything for 3 days. I’m sorry for stealing your tissue paper—“

Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t believe his ears. He had heard reports about people eating tissue papers to stop their hunger. He clenched his fist and opens them.

“There’s food inside. why are you eating that?” 

“I’m not allowed to eat at the same table as you.” 

“Who told you that?” 

“Everyone. they said I made the food taste bad that’s why I shouldn’t be at the table eating with people.”

Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to cry, how could the world be so cruel to a 10-year-old child? At least when he was 10 he still have food to eat, a bed to sleep in, and a house to keep him covered from heat and cold. Kim Dokja had nothing. It hurts him knowing that he hadn’t met Kim Dokja a long time ago.

—

It took awhile for Yoo Joonghyuk to have Kim Dokja wat with them at the dining table, his eyes never leaving the child’s figure. he made sure Kim Dokja has eaten enough then he urged the kids to take a shower with Kim Dokja.

then he slowly cleaned Kim Dokja’s wounds ( he had asked Kim Dokja permission to clean his wounds) then he tuck Kim Dokja to bed with a promise to let Kim Dokja read a book tomorrow. It was hard making sure Kim Dokja feels safe but he promised then and there to keep Kim Dokja safe and happy forever.

[samtheacesheep]

MML Sci-Fi Au

Milo:

Milo in a space suit:

Melissa (she and Milo are waving at each other):

(her arms can retract into her body) 

Lore: 

In the far, far future, eight planets orbit a sun. While none of these planets are capable of sustaining life, people live in “bubble cities” on the surfaces of the planets, and on space stations orbiting around them. Their advanced technology allows them to survive- and among that advanced technology is robots. Robots to clean their homes. Robots to serve them food. Robots to work in factories. Robots to drive their ships. 

Robots to protect them. Robots to kill for them. The Murphys live on a small, red planet called Rusoma, in the bubble city of Danville. Their unusual genetic condition- officially Extreme Hereditary Murphy’s Law, and more colloquially simply Murphy’s Law- can make life dangerous, especially in an environment where the lives of millions rely on technology. Despite this, they handle their condition well and prosper- but everyone can use some help. When Milo Murphy turned six, his parents decided to buy a MEL robot- a Mechanical Escort Life-Preserver. The perfect babysitter and companion for their young son, the MEL robot can help him survive in all manner of disasters, big and small. She is even built to be child friendly. So they weren’t surprised when Milo immediately became attached to her, calling her his best friend and treating her like that. 

What did surprise them was the MEL robot- nicknamed Melissa by Milo- developing sentience. A few years later, Milo is thirteen. Melissa is his best friend, and treated as part of the family by the Murphys. But one day, disaster strikes. The family are called to the police office in the middle of the night, to discover that Melissa killed someone. Having left the house in the middle of the night, she malfunctioned and fatally attacked someone. At least, that’s the story. 

Melissa insists that she didn’t do it, and Milo believes her. But she was found, shut off and covered in blood, next to the body. Her camera malfunctioned, leaving no footage in the time before and during the incident, and, crucially, her memory storage malfunctioned. She has no idea what happened, with a dark spot between entering the park and waking up at the police station. 

Of course, a robot can’t be charged with a crime, as they aren’t supposed to be sentient. But everyone thinks that Melissa malfunctioned. And a robot that malfunctions and attacks innocents is dangerous. So the authorities decide to deactivate her. Milo is horrified, and when he can’t prove her innocence to save her he does the next best thing- he steals her back and flees the planet, becoming a fugitive to keep her safe. But being a fugitive causes its own problems, and they will never be able to go home until they can find the truth. Because if Melissa didn’t kill that person, who did?

——— 

the sci fi au!!! I finally settled on designs for Milo and Melissa, and wrote up the lore post. So here you go! So Melissa is smaller than a 13 year old, but taller than a 6 year old. And yes, she does complain about Milo growing taller than her. Regularly.  She doesn’t need a space suit to survive outside of cities/ships/shuttles/space stations ect, but she has a lil suit anyway because Milo 

She is very, very protective of Milo. But at the same time, Milo is protective of her. They’re really close. 

Aside from Milo and Melissa, I have stuff for some other characters. Obviously Zack is the one I thought about most after the two of them- Zack is also a robot. I haven’t come up with a name, but I want it to have an acronym like ZAC or ZAK. I’ll workshop that. But basically, he’s one of the ‘killer robots’ that were the whole point of the original concept for this au- he has been built and programmed as a protector for exploring hostile planets outwith the solar system. In practise, Zack is considered a defect. He developed sentience, and was unable to convincingly act like a ruthless, unfeeling robot. So he was literally thrown out, and Milo and Melissa find him in a rubbish dump while searching for scrap. They adopt him, and his arc is about learning that even if he can’t do what he is made for, he isn’t worthless. 

Also his design, which i haven’t perfected yet, is based off of Warhammer 40k Kastelan robots, if you wanna get a feel for what he’ll look like. I love Kastelan robots, they look so fun and chunky. Cavendish works for the Solar Government. Dakota is a robot, and his bodyguard. Dakota is a “defect” like Melissa and Zack, but hides it well because he wants to stay with Cav to protect him. Cavendish is assigned to capture Milo and Melissa, hijinx ensue. I’m not sure what direction I’d want the story to go in, but I’m leaning towards a murder mystery- but a murder mystery in space. The main plot being focused on Milo and Melissa figuring out who really did that murder, so they can go home. Obviously a lot of stuff isn’t finalised, but I hope you like what I’ve got so far!

@cantdanceflynn​ I know you’re a robot fan :)

[leucoratia]

If possible, I would really love to see a headcannons list for Jotakak (kinda similar to the Avpol headcannons). I love this duo and the possible romantic chemistry was so fun! Thanks :D

Hi, I’m Leucoratia and I write headcanons ands fics (sometimes)! If you want to request anything, see my rules and characters list!

*Twirls hair* Haha I’m sooo normal about them

Jotakak. Ladies and gentlemen, JOTAKAK. I love this pair so, so so much it’s a borderline obsession. These headcanons are going to be very influenced about my HCs for the characters’ personalities as well as sexualities (bcs even though Part 3 is my favourite part I can agree that it’s characters aren’t very fleshed-out).

This ask kind of escaped my control, I'm sorry it took so long to answer but balancing my first full-time job was very tricky! I'm not sure it's exactly what you expected because I explored how they got together and how they feel for each other more than misc headcanons, but I think it's still enjoyable :)

Note that I headcanon Jotaro as aroace, hence Jotakak is more of a queerplatonic relationship than a romance. Being allo myself, I don’t have any hindsight from the aroace experience and did my best to accurately portray an aroace person in a relationship. Please do tell if you have any comments or remarks about my portrayal of aroace people so I can do better!

TW: angst. a lot of angst. But it ends well I promise :>

Noriaki Kakyoin in Jotakak HC:

-So I hc Kakyoin as gay, so even in his fleshbud-possessed brain, he wanted to be an extra bitch to impress the local tall dark and handsome upon their first meeting.

-Like he had set up a whole scene, standing mysteriously on top of the stairs with his scarf flowing in the wind, you can’t tell me he didn’t want to swoon Jotaro right off his feet.

-(And that he did lmao)

-Kakyoin has some relationship experience, so he realizes pretty quickly that he has a crush on the other teen. He would be more attracted to Jotaro’s personality and traits than his body, although he can’t deny that he finds him very attractive.

-The redhead is a man of honor, hence he would only respect someone of the same caliber as he. In the beginning, he looked down upon the other man for his attitude, but quickly warmed up to him and truly started to value him after he proved time and time again how far he was willing to go for those he loved.

-Kakyoin truly realized his crush on Jotaro after the battling the Lovers:

“As they reunited after Jotaro defeated Steely Dan, Kaykoin allowed his eyes to graze the other man’s form. Jotaro was covered in cuts and bruises, blood trailing down his lips and brow, melting into his opal eyes. His breath hitched as he noticed the shoe imprints in his back. Just how much had he swallowed up for the sake of his grandfather? As Joseph fretted over his grandson, Kakyoin took in the teen’s ever-so determined aura. Even beat up and humiliated, his look retained an undying sense of determination and duty.

Jotaro had wordlessly trust him and his stand to keep The Lovers from hurting him and anyone else as it flew back to Steely Dan, relied entirely on Kakyoin’s ability to defeat the stand and save his grandfather as he was himself getting beat up and ridiculed in public. This realization filled the teen with a deep sense of respect for the other man, and even more so of admiration.

That day, Kakyoin knew his feelings for Jotaro were no longer those of a friend.”

-After realizing his feelings, he would try to be cool about it and stay the same. Keyword “try”.

-He’s so fucking stupid omg

-He would try to be coolTM all the time to impress. Kakyoin would be the type to infodump about literally anything and be like “Haha Jotaro did you know that sea snakes like Hydrophis cyanocinctus can breathe through their skin”.

-That’s his way of flirting btw.

-Sooooo akward and stupid about it. His cool guy persona does NOT work he is a certified nerd and would absolutely stop breathing when his eyes lock with his crush’s.

-If Jotaro shows the slightest bit of interest in what Kakyoin is saying he’ll talk his ear off with fun facts and videogame lore.

-Would probably make the first move. Kakyoin is a very thorough individual, and feelings are no different. This man made up at least 26 scenarios and planned a different speech for each and every one.

-It definitely keeps him awake at night.

-His love language would be words of affirmation, acts of service and quality time. Every night during their journey the two would meet in each other’s rooms and chill.

“What are you reading Jotaro?

-Marine Life magazine, he muttered, nose deep between the pages.

-Cool,” replied Kakyoin in a soft tone.” Tell me about it?”

Jotaro stayed silent for a few seconds before flipping all the way back to page 3. He cleared his throat and started reading:

“Sea stars belong to the phylum Echinodermata. That means they are related to sand dollars, sea urchins, sea cucumbers, and sea lilies. Overall, this phylum contains approximately 7,000 species”… Did you know that starfish have more than one stomach?

-I didn’t.” Kakyoin rested his hand on his chin, eyes locked on the other man with a dreamy, love-struck look “Keep going.”

Jotaro Kujo in Jotakak HCs:

-So keep in mind that to me Jotaro is an aroace KING so the feelings he harbors for Noriaki are not romantic. Which doesn’t mean this man wouldn’t die for him in a heartbeat.

-At first he didn’t think much of the redhead; although the more they traveled together, the closer they got. After all, it is nice to have someone else his age around during this whole mess.

-Jotaro was in a relationship exactly once (1) in middle school, to cross that item off his bucket list. Even then, he didn’t feel any of the so-called butterflies and giddiness. Must have not been the right girl.

-Aromanticism wasn’t spoken of very much in the 1980’s, especially in Japan, so all his life Jotaro thought that he hadn’t met the “right person” yet. Looking at fellow classmates, he failed to find a single one to his taste during his fourteen years of attending school.

-Holly joked around with her husband that their son was a very picky young man, and the teen ended up using that to justify why he never felt romantic love.

-Jotaro realized something was “wrong” with him when the topic of sexuality came into the picture in high school. Teen boys were passing around lewd magazines and sharing stories of their first times, all while the young man remained puzzled on what was so interesting about a pair of tits. Or a penis for that matter. Sure, men and women were beautiful to look at, but that was it.

-When he understood that everyone else was serious about all they were saying, he started to question himself and think something was wrong with him. Why can’t he be in love? Is his brain fucked up? Is he doomed to be alone forever and push everyone away?

-As he and other grew up, he found himself less and less in his friends and started to grow apart from them. He didn’t feel understood anymore.

-That changed when he met Kakyoin. Kakyoin who didn’t judge, Kakyoin who wouldn’t brag about girls and put him on the line for having no experience, Kakyoing who seemed to be a never-ending pit of random knowledge, Kakyoin who listened.

-Although the Joestar didn’t think much of him at first, he quickly started to appreciate him, slowly breaking his tough-cool-guy shell to expose the teenager underneath.

-He and Noriaki connect like he never did with anyone else. They fight over who knows more about a specific species of starfish (Jotaro does), they play video games whenever they can (Kakyoin always wins), and they have the dumbest inside jokes that makes Joseph and Avdol groan every single time.

-They grow so very close Jotaro starts to believe that maybe this is what love is. The warmth he feels for Noriaki, a warmth that he only ever felt for family, must be love. It has to be right?

-And so the young man indulges in fantasies. Fantasies in which they never kiss, they’re just…together. Kakyoin smiles and he loves him, and Jotaro loves him back and he’s not alone anymore.

-He would never, ever, make the first move; too scared to break their bond. Plus, it’s not like he wants more than they already have.

-Jotaro would just like to be held sometimes. Maybe have his hair played with. He’d like to fall asleep and wake up in Noriaki’s embrace, and give him a peck on the forehead. He’d like his friend to tease him about taking up all the space in bed. And friend’s can’t do that, right?

-Overall he’s just lost and very confused. Also very very awkward about touch. This man craves a hug good good-

Jotakak pair HCS:

-Their confession was messy. It all happened so fast and it wasn’t how either of them imagined to be, planned it to be. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“The three of them stood on the outer wall of Dio’s fortress, the setting sun casting the building in dark shadow. Soon, it will all be over. With Avdol and Iggy left to die in the manor and Polnareff having run to chase the vampire himself, the plan Jotaro came up with was more than hasty.

As they settled on him joining Polnareff and Kakyoin tagging along with Joseph to catch Dio from behind, they could all feel that none of them would come out of this the same as before. If they even could survive this.

The thought plagued Noriaki. Not knowing if he would live to see another day, he had tried this morning to finally confess to his friend but his tongue betrayed him. This was his last opportunity. If he should die, he would knowing that he had been true to his love for the man.

“A moment.” He asked Joseph, not waiting for an answer to turn on his heel and rush towards Jotaro, grabbing him by the hem of his sleeve.

“Jotaro”, he said in a breath” There is something that you must know, before we part”.

The younger Joestar turned around meeting the other man eye to eye, mouth agape, as if he was about to say something.

“I’m in love with you.”

For a moment, nothing was said. Jotaro kept opening and closing his mouth looking for a word, any word, anything better than this crushing silence. He had to say something, he couldn’t stay silent while Noriaki was here and he loved him and he looked so, so terribly sad-

“It’s ok, said the redhead ”You don’t have to say anything. I understand that it’s- it’s a lot.” He gulped “See you there Jotaro”.

And with that, Kakyoin jumped off the building to join Joseph, leaving Jotaro on the roof, still fumbling for his words. His meager “Wait” was lost in the wind before it could reach Kakyoin’s ears.

They truly met again months later, when Kakyoin opened his eyes for the first time after surviving grueling surgeries.

To Jotaro, that time when Noriaki briefly looked at him in a daze while he held his hand as he was rushing him towards the Speedwagon foundation’s helicopter, holding half of his guts in his hands, didn’t count as meeting again.

The second the teen learnt that his best friend was awake, he was out of his hospital bed and running through the corridors, a trail of nurses behind him and IV still half-stabbed in his arm. Bursting into the room, he almost collapsed at Kakyoin’s side, muttering excuses and “I love you”s over and over. The redhead only offered him a half-smile before closing his eyes again.

It would be two weeks before Jotaro could gaze in these emerald eyes again.”

-Once Kakyoin started getting better and Jotaro was no longer banned from his room (after trying to break in multiple times), the two would not leave each others’ side. More precisely, Jotaro would guard his lover’s bed with his life while the other teen faded in and out of consciousness.

-They never talked about their relationship while in the hospital. Such topic felt too.. sacred, to be tackled in a hospital room. But they allowed the change to happen, bit by bit.

-They always touched each other, in one way or another. A hand on a hand. A leg brushing against an arm. They were each other’s lifeline, their mutual contact grounding them in the moment and keeping the memories at bay.

-After Kakyoin was transferred to a clinic to fully heal, Jotaro had the habit of sneaking trinkets, food and books in his room; both enjoying the malicious pleasure of driving nurses and the redhead’s parents crazy.

-When Noriaki was finally released from the clinic, the two could finally fully find each other again. Obviously their activities were limited, with Kakyoin now permanently disabled and with fragile brand new organs, but they made it work. It’s not like they both enjoyed hiking or public dates anyways.

-The topic of their relationship was still difficult to branch, especially to Jotaro. They never went further than holding hands and hugging, but the Joestar could tell that the other teen wanted more than that. And he wasn’t sure that he could be the one to give him what he deserved anymore.

-To be honest, Jotaro is absolutely crushed with guilt after Egypt. Even though his partner survived, the nightmares plague him every night, and he can’t look at Kakyoin without feeling as if his heart was being stopped all over again.

-To him, his friend deserves more than this. More than whatever he can give. Because, well, Jotaro might love Kakyoin, but he isn’t in love with him. He’s never been in love with anyone, and really, he’s not sure he’s able to.

-Slowly, Jotaro begins to distance himself from his partner. He calls less. He comes over less. And it crushes them both, because Jotaro wants to give Noriaki the world and Noriaki only wants Jotaro to be with him.

-It gets ugly. It gets bad. Because Kakyoin bottles up all of his emotions and Jotaro thinks this is what is best.

-Finally, what had to happen happened. They fought. And they broke down.

-Noriaki screamed until his voice went raw that he only wanted Jotaro to stay, that after Egypt, he thought that they would fight the entire world together if they had to but they would be together. He screams that he feels lonely, he feels abandoned, he feels as if he’s 10 again because he’s betrayed by the one he loves and it hurts so much. He screams that he knows he’s broken, that he’s crippled and useless but that he thought that they would get over this as a couple; he screams that he loves Jotaro but he knows he doesn’t love him back and he justs wants to be done, he just wants everything to be over because if there isn’t Jotaro that what even is left for him? And he screams and he screams because he just wants Jotaro to fucking SAY SOMETHING and LOOK AT HIM-

-And Jotaro takes it in. He takes the punches, he takes the tears and the screams and the harsh words.

-And Jotaro crumbles.

-Because he’s just so, so guilty. He just wants what’s best for the most important person in his life and he fucked up. Again.

-He falls on his knees and he cries. And Kakyoin just looks at him from his wheelchair and says nothing, eyes red and throat raw.

-Jotaro cries and says that he’s sorry. That he loves him so much but that he can’t love him, that he tries so hard but he can’t give Noriaki what he needs and that he deserves better than a broken man.

-Once the dam is opened, there’s no closing it. And the words flow out of Jotaro’s mouth and he can’t stop them.

-He tells his lover everything he never said before. How he always felt different. How he’s never been in love, how he’s never been interested in sex, how he thought what he felt for Kakyoin was love because it was the only justification for such an intense feeling. How he never wants to leave his side, how he wants to be his but he can’t and-

-Kakyoin bends down from his wheelchair and hugs him.

-He’s not sorry, he said. About what he said. About being mad, because he’s still absolutely furious at Jotaro for doing what he did. But he understands and never in a million years would he throw what they have away because the other teen doesn’t, can’t return his feelings. He loves him, and even if they wont’ be able to be a typical couple, they can still make things work.

“Jotaro looked at Kakyoin with teary eyes, trying to still the shaking in his shoulders and the tremors of his voice. His knees rasped against the hard wooden floor and hurt from the fall, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except Noriaki, who looked at him with understanding and with so much love it made him feel like he could conquer the world.

“Do you- do you still want me then?” he choked out in a hesitant, low voice.

“Always”.”

-After things calmed down, they had a serious talk about what they felt for each other and what they wanted. It was as clumsy as two teenagers could get, but in the end they both got their point across.

-So much changed after that. It felt as if both of them been freed from an immense weight and could be themselves again, all of their barriers having been torn down. The two were even more comfortable around the other, although they both retained their natural level of awkwardness.

-Today, you could call their relationship a QPR (queerplatonic relationship). Back then, not having words to put on their relationship, they just called it a partnership of some sorts.

-Expect a loooot of casual touching and hugs from now on. These two seem superglued to the other everywhere they go.

-Jotaro being draped over a drowsy Kakyoin on the couch was a common sight at the Joestar estate.

-Acts of service. So. Many. Acts. Of. Service. It’s almost a competition at this point. Basically “Let me get it for you” “No let ME get it for you”.

-The sentient stands make it ten times worse. You WILL have Star Platinum floating away to get tea and Hierophant Green unwinding itself to fetch a book. Holly learnt to ignore the floating objects for her own sanity.

-Would kill for one another (I mean they already did so-). If anyone dares give any shit to Noriaki about his disability they're going to get a taste of Star Platinum's fist. If Hierophant didn't beat him to it anyways.

-Works both ways btw. When they go back to high school, Jotaro's fangirls try to swarm him again but you bet Kakyoin is burning them down with a stare and getting the both of them away as fast as his wheelchair allows him to. If looks could kill...

-They’re so stupid together. Insane chaos energy. Kakyoin literally has the worst sense of humor and is absolutely THRIVING with Jotaro, king of practical jokes. No one is safe except Holly. Especially not Polnareff.

-Kakyoin basically lives at the Joestar estate now. He wants to get away from his parents whom he has a tense relationship with still, and with the rate at which he comes over he always has clothes and trinkets littering Jotaro’s room.

-Even though Holly always offers a guest room, they bunk together. Absolutely no exceptions.

(Jotaro finally got his head scratches and hugs thank god)

-They talk endlessly. They tell each other everything, from their deepest and darkest worries to the colour of their socks. Jotaro opens up on his resentment towards his absent father while Kakyoin tries to share how his relationship with his family became so difficult, and how having a stand whilst being queer made him feel like he was alone against the world.

-Whenever Kakyoin sleeps over, the both of them tend to sleep better. Less nightmares.

-And when one of them jolts awake, a scream dying in their throat, the sight of their loved one laying peacefully next to them always soothes their worries.

-When the nightmares get too intense and the other wakes up, they will gently coax their partner through it, holding them in their arms and murmuring sweet nothings in their ear as tears flow freely.

-Kakyoin is a very guarded man, but Jotaro is the only one he feels safe enough with to express his emotions and his fears. Even then, him breaking down after a nightmare is a very rare occurrence. He prefers to keep to himself and hide away weaknesses like this. Suffice to say, when it does happen, it’s not easy on the both of them.

-Jotaro has the most nightmares. In the first year after Egypt, getting a good night of sleep was almost impossible for the teen. In the darkness behind his eyelids, he would always see the glimmer of red eyes and sharp teeth, and blood, oh god so much blood-

-Having Noriaki around helped. His partner was the one to drag his sorry ass to bed most of the times anyways.

-They help each other with homework as a form of bonding. Kakyoin is more into mathematics and literature than biology and physical science, so they cancel each other out. The only subject both of them are absolutely helpless at is…Japanese….

-They both think all of the literary rules are stupid for different reasons, but they agree on that.

-They don’t voice their affection for each other a lot, both of them preferring actions to words. But they do say “I love you” from time to time as reassurance.

-Jotaro helps Noriaki with his physical therapy and such. It keeps the redhead going, even when hi muscles are sore and his legs feel like puddy. He wants to walk next to his partner again.

-The taller teen somehow becomes Kakyoin’s doctor's best frienemy. Best friend because he always keeps him on his medication and pushes him through his exercises; worst enemy because he has the tendency to arbitrarily kidnap his friend out of checkups.

-When Noriaki was being difficult, Jotaro always knew how to rile him up:

“Come on Kakyoin, you just need to try and stretch your legs and we’ll be done for today”, said a nurse in a sweet but harsh tone. She had been trying to make her patient stretch after his session for a good twenty minutes and she was getting nothing out of him. Even with the patience of a saint, she was itching to give the teen a piece of her mind.

“Hm. Cmon’ Nori, let’s go home. I can see you don’t have it in you.

-EXCUSE ME?!,” spit the younger teen, a newfound fire in his eyes, “Shut up and fucking watch me Kujo”.

-Mutual infodumping. Their relationship is literally autism x autism. WILL take turns talking about their special interests.

-Jotaro would take Noriaki to the oceanographic museum while the redhead shows his partner around the observatory and planetarium. (Kakyoin is a space nerd to me sorry I’m projecting-)

-When they get older and the topic of college gets broached, Kakyoin is the one to push Jotaro to study abroad. And well, if he just happens to secure a full scholarship at Florida University’s department of Astronomy, a famous real-estate millionaire says it’s just a coincidence.

-They live together at university. Contrary to popular belief, Jotaro is the organized one. Kakyoin leaves a mess everywhere he goes. His mugs are literally everywhere (and he’ll be damned if he picks them up himself).

-They both take up work at the SPW Foundation, Kakyoin being confined to the support lines due to his injuries. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t try to sneak out and assist Jotaro on terrain or anything.

-In the end, both obtain their PHD with flying colors. Jotaro becomes a renewed marine biologist while Kakyoin devotes himself to research and teaching.

-The other crusaders learn of their relationship pretty quickly. Muhammad is very understanding, being demiromantic himself; while Polnareff and Joseph struggle a bit more with the concept. They're both trying really hard though.

"So, uh, when's the wedding guys?, said Polnareff in a joking manner

-There won't be a wedding you absolute waste of a bowel movement-"

-After many years at each other’s side, they relationship is the strongest it’s been. And even though it’s not your typical love story, they both wouldn’t have it any other way.

-And well, if they do decide to expand their little family…time will tell.

I mean seriously can you imagine the chaos? Raising a kid with your bestie? Everyone should brace themselves because little Jolyne and daddy Nori are about to be their worst nightmare.

[eorzeashan]

k I get to talk about traitor fic pt 1 now cuz enough time has passed (admin it's been like a day) but anyways.

Theron being unwillingly complicit in giving Eight to the Order of Zildrog as a hostage is a parallel to how Lana let him get captured in SoR, but reversed bc I like situational irony, and Theron's weird status as a spy who can't compromise his ideals makes it so he lands in hot water when he makes his weaknesses to obvious, and in this case he can't choose between the life of an ally and maintaining his cover. Eight, however is used to being a pawn, so he makes it for him. Not that there was a choice in the first place, and Theron experiences the anxiety of being thrust into a decision-making role that affects people other than him, as the narrative of KOTXX originally doesn't let him or Lana experience since they're relegated to advisors who rely on the Commander to decide everything and the Commander to experience all those consequences while they have no agency besides expressing agreement or disagreement.

In this case, both he and Lana now are leaders, but Theron is not used to having to bargain with lives and makes the wrong calls repeatedly, as well as being manipulated by other factions who are ahead of him in the spy game. Both he and Eight re-experience being pulled in multiple directions and used by intelligence agencies as mere stepping stones again the minute they leave the safety of the Alliance, but Eight never stopped being used even by the Alliance itself and Theron only starts to come to terms with that knowledge when they're on their own. Then, there's Lana who is the acting Commander here since Eight is unable to fill a leadership role of any kind who is betrayed by Theron and realizes she has misunderstood their relationships entirely, as she was blindsided by the need to be "saved", as she put it in Eight's KOTXX playthrough. Not only that, her role as a leader made it so she now viewed her close companions as resources (again) though she was largely unaware of the rift that formed. But just because someone suffers the same history and works under you doesn't mean you're close in any personal way, and that's a fact she horribly awakens to. Also, Rishi callbacks again.

Vinn Atrius has always been a point of interest to me though he doesn't show much in the actual game's Traitor Arc besides being pissed for shallow reasons, so I'm trying to both keep his character while expanding on it. I also keep thinking he's way bigger than he actually is because of the way his armor makes his beefy rippling biceps look massive, so that entered my writing of him as well. Arms... He strikes me as somewhere between honorable and so disgusted by outlanders that he circles back to that occasionally, but he was Vaylin's personal guard and I like to imagine he had a strong loyalty for her.

I meant to write an extra scene at the end of the chapter where he and Eight have a stiff talk where he stashes him behind a rayshield cell, but the framing makes it look like he's the one imprisoned which reflects how he's trapped in his insular and petty revenge plot that-- *is dragged offstage* buuuuuut I'll get to that next time. Also even MORE parallels to Eight's trapped status and Lana confronting Theron in a similar place but also "only one who can under me is my enemy" Malgus talk and- ok that's it thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.

[shamera]

NaNo day 23-25

I LIVE back with hunter au

so the first part felt fun but then I had a really hard time writing and got distracted by rl left and right so if it feels choppy... it is. that's what editing is for, right? that is if i keep most of this, hurhur.

I had an idea for this, I swear I did, but I kept meandering. Finally coming up to the end, though. of the part? of the story? idk, but we're finally coming to the part I imagined when I first started this, even if that image was nebulous in my head.

also scene not complete but my brain is done tonight

One thing that always irritated Fang Duobing about Li Lianhua was just how easy it was to trust the man. No matter how many times Fang Duobing watched him lie or cheat or weasel his way out of things, when it came down to it, Fang Duobing instinctively trusted Li Lianhua. 

At first he blamed it on his own inexperience with the world. Growing up ill, he had mostly been homeschooled until he recovered enough to be thrown into an exclusive and extremely rich private school where other children of diplomats and royalty attended, yet Fang Duobing never quite… connected the other children. He was different and intense and he didn’t share the same life goals as them. 

Unlike his schoolmates, he hadn’t wanted to inherit companies or marry up or maintain rich connections. Instead, he wanted to be a Hunter, someone who needlessly endanger their lives for little gain. Fang Duobing wanted to fight, wanted to get in the middle of things and get his hands dirty saving others. His frustration grew over the years as he found no one to share or understand his dream, and the last straw had been when his parents arranged his marriage to Princess Qiaoling. 

He was meant to inherit his mother’s company and his father’s name, marry the Princess and live a soft, sheltered life where his children would be even more powerful and the Fang and He lineage would be secured, and even more, of royal blood. 

When Fang Duobing first ran away from home, he made mistake after mistake that had his aunt hunting closely after him. He learned to pull out his sim card from his phone, learned to dress differently and cover his face in big cities due to surveillance at every corner, and circumnavigate paper money rather than rely entirely on paying via his phone. 

(Although he continued to make that last mistake again and again whenever he needed food or money, instead learning how to run faster than his aunt could catch him.)

With his inexperience with people, it just made sense that he kept getting tricked by Li Lianhua. 

Or, it would make sense if Fang Duobing ever learned from his mistake. 

Yet he didn’t know why, but when Li Lianhua snuck a look at him, Fang Duobing would understand exactly what he meant by the look. They communicated seamlessly in a manner that he wouldn’t notice until much later, when Fang Duobing could review the day and be breathless at how easily they navigated around each other. 

It must be, Fang Duobing determined early on, the storybook friendships. That’s how people felt about best friends, right? It was the type of connection seen on tv dramas, and the type of connection that Hunters would develop after years of fighting alongside each other. 

That would make sense except for the fact that Li Lianhua very obviously didn’t fight. 

He complained about long walks and lost his breath on stairs, and Fang Duobing was always the one doing the heavy lifting and fixing around Lotus Tower. He would have complained about it more if not for the fact that Li Lianhua really did get very sick from time to time, with no prior warning. 

And when he got sick, he would spend days in bed in a state that worried Fang Duobing tremendously. He couldn’t understand how the man survived to this point at all without someone to take care of him. 

After being caught by his aunt the first time (because! Li Lianhua! Snitched! On him!), Fang Duobing spent months back home seething over the betrayal, constantly trailed by maids, servants, and bodyguards paid to not let him out of their sights. He spent the time spamming Baichuan Court with requests and shoved his application and resume in their faces the entire time, only to be rejected time and again. 

It took months of intense studying and online spoofing for Fang Duobing to find a time where he managed to sweet-talk his mother into allowing him to one of her company parties, lying through his teeth about a sudden interest in a corporate career, especially since he was now not a child but in his twenties. 

His escape the second time had been so narrow he heard his aunt’s angry screaming while he was still climbing down over the wall of the private retreat, rolling down through the bushes in his suit in glee at finally escaping from the excessive overprotectiveness of his family. 

Goodbye, arranged marriage and arranged life and having the names of his nonexistent kids already picked out! He was going to go off and make a name for himself with his own blood, sweat, and tears, and he was going to fulfil his dreams of being a Hunter and fighting monsters and saving people— 

And then, somehow, he ran into Li Lianhua again in the first town he escaped to via the first long-distance bus he could find that didn’t require his identification for a ticket. 

He would have left, he really would have. He would have just turned around and made his way to the next town without acknowledging him at all, except Li Lianhua had been pale like he was still recovering from a recent bout of illness, and there was a girl standing with him that Fang Duobing recognised from a previous case together, and what was she doing there as well?

Apparently in Fang Duobing’s absence, Su Xiaoyong had taken it upon herself to trail after Li Lianhua, and Fang Duobing was having none of it. It just wasn’t proper, and so what if that view was old fashioned! Her following them had been funny originally when Fang Duobing was there the first time, but it wasn’t funny now that he wasn’t there!

So he bullied his way back into his room at Lotus Tower (which was his and not Su Xiaoyong’s!), and back into travelling with Li Lianhua again on the promise that the man wouldn’t rat Fang Duobing out to his aunt again. 

It was not even three weeks after that Fang Duobing found Li Lianhua having pulled out that ancient laptop of his at the kitchen, frowning at the horrible internet connection from where they were parked. 

“Why do you need that?” Fang Duobing asked then, surprised. He leaned to peek at the screen. “Does that thing even work? It must have existed along with the dinosaurs. I’ll get you a new one.”

A second later, he changed his mind. 

“Are you emailing my mother?” Fang Duobing shrieked, a hand shaking at Li Lianhua’s shoulder. “Why?!”

For someone usually so sickly, Li Lianhua didn’t bat an eye at being shaken like that. “We have a rapport. She asked me about you, I thought it was only polite to respond. She wants to know if you’re still alive and standing.”

That wasn’t all of it, from what Fang Duobing could read on the screen. He Xiaohui included quips about her day and random cooking recipes, along with thanks for recommending the acupuncturist for her sore shoulder. She had jokes on the side. She used emojis in the messages. 

It wasn’t until the post-script that she asked about her son’s well-being. 

P.S., she wrote, is my darlingest Xiaobao still alive?

Then he saw Li Lianhua respond with ‘he's reading this right now ‘before Fang Duobing attempted to wrestle that laptop out of his hands, but not before the man managed to hit send. 

And that was how Fang Duobing learned he didn’t need to be as careful with his phone use and purchases, because his mother had known where he was all along and was only mad he didn’t tell her himself. 

(Although perhaps he had been a little too ambitious in thinking he could hide from his mother, the head of a company on innovative technology who happened to moonlight in R&D as well.)

“Now I’m glad you don’t have a phone,” Fang Duobing griped afterward. Despite his extensive badgering about getting Li Lianhua a phone (mostly so he could find the ever elusive man), Li Lianhua had remained steadfast in his adherence to living like an old man. Fang Duobing shuddered to think of his family on a WeChat group with Li Lianhua, who could be documenting Fang Duobing’s greatest failures on the daily. He thought of his own collections of photos and videos around Lotus Tower, mostly of Hulijing because she was the cutest dog in existence, but also of Li Lianhua cooking, or drinking tea, or tucked into a corner and reading, or— 

“I somehow remember a certain someone badgering me about needing a phone for everyday use,” Li Lianhua said, even as he shut down the laptop and packed it away once more. “From messaging to paying for things, to maps…”

“Eh!” Fang Duobing made panicked noises to stop the other man from continuing. “Who said that, huh? Not just me! It’s common sense— how do you survive the modern world without Alipay, anyway? No navigation, no contacts, no access to TaoBao…”

“I make do.” Li Lianhua replied with faux demureness. 

(Fang Duobing doesn’t manage to convince him to get a phone, although soon enough a brand new and high-spec tablet ends up in Lotus Tower just by coincidence, only to be thrown into the same compartment as the ancient laptop. After that, he stuck to purchasing newer kitchen appliances instead. At least the air fryer was a hit.)

Two days later, they exposed a supplier for illegal dungeon materials who attempted to drug them, only for Li Lianhua to take one look at the tea and smile sweetly before diverting attention and dumping the cup below his sleeve, barely needing to nudge Fang Duobing’s foot for him to do the same. 

After that they managed to come up with the same plan, executing it at the same time without saying a word about it to each other. They gave the same story to the police who showed up afterward as well, even in separate rooms and even without having corroborated beforehand. 

It was like having someone who knew exactly what was on his mind, and knowing exactly what was on his mind in return, even if Fang Duobing couldn’t quite comprehend his actions most of the time. The feeling was exhilarating enough that he couldn’t help but forgive Li Lianhua’s strange habits and awful lies. 

Because when and where it counted, Li Lianhua did live up to everything Fang Duobing hoped of him. 

He hid and he ran away and he lied endlessly, but Fang Duobing had always known the type of person Li Lianhua was, the same way they always knew each other’s decisions and actions. It was the connection of a lifetime— he met Li Lianhua and he just knew.

He knew. 

Staring at the view before him now, within the domain of the boss dungeon, Fang Duobing found he really didn’t know anything at all. 

With most of the tendrils of the monster cut off, it was like half the body disappeared after the sword swing (sword? What sword? Where did that sword come from?), unbalancing the large beast and bringing its heavy body crashing forward, the darkness it hide between the tendrils disappearing amidst the glow of the grass as it hit the ground, only for the shrieking noise to grow even louder, louder until Fang Duobing wasn’t sure if his ears would soon be bleeding. 

Li Lianhua (tired, sickly Li Lianhua who couldn’t even be bothered to carry his own groceries) wasted no time as he dashed forward into a sprint, the faint glow of the sword blending in with the surroundings as he darted around the falling monster to jump atop it, the movements so graceful Fang Duobing almost felt like time slowed for it as he lept, weightless, landing with just one foot on the hulk of the monster before he pushed off again before gravity could set in, spinning in an effortless movement to balance atop the crashing body and evade the renewed tendrils that came from the other side of the monsters as its form split once more, shorter now, yet no less deadly in its force. 

Fang Duobing was too far away to see clearly, the movements and the dust blurring the battle, but he knew that footwork. He knew the slash, that sidestep, that evasion. 

He’d been studying it since he was ten years old, attempting to find every video and snippet the internet had of the famous Sigu Sect founder, eyes wide with wonder and reverence. He read every article, replayed every clip of every fight with breathless marvel as teen prodigy Li Xiangyi climbed his way to the top of the world of Hunters. Every shaky phone footage from civilians who managed to catch seconds when Li Xiangyi was challenged by other Hunters, only for him to end the fight almost instantly, within only a few moves. 

The famed Whirling Steps of Xiangyi Swordplay, as light and easy as laughter. 

(But it couldn’t be!)

The tendrils were moving faster now, focusing on the ones with spikes down the side, readily destroying even the body of the monster in attempts to target Li Lianhua, who evaded the attacks easy as breathing, and turned to hack those tendrils off as well, the ground shaking with each and every heavy fall of monster parts, the flash of a blue sword cutting swiftly and deftly like a knife through butter. 

With the closest tendrils taken care of, Li Lianhua was pulled back into action atop the monster, amongst the splattered dark blood and gore, and the dug his sword in the body of the creature, nearly to the hilt as it thrashed and screamed, attempting to buck him off even as he clung onto the blade. 

The creature’s movement seem to turn against itself, though, as the blade sank to create a deeper and wider cut as it moved, until Li Lianhua pulled the sword out and then sank it in again in a different location, doing this several times in a row until he drew away to once again battle the remaining tendrils. 

Ten seconds, twenty seconds, and the creature that was the size of a house was getting hacked into pieces, and blood splattered carelessly over Li Lianhua’s pale clothes and skin, half hidden by the curtain of dark hair. 

It took less than a minute before all the tendrils were gone, and the body of the beast was merely twitching on the ground, cut nearly in half by the glowing blue blade, which remained free of blood despite its owner being half covered in it by now. 

And then the monster collapsed, the endless shrieking finally halted as it began falling apart like a pile of snakes to reveal the darkness it had been protecting inside, a gaping maw of abyss that grew and lifted, and Li Lianhua was standing right there—

“Look out!” Fang Duobing shouted out, immediately pushing himself onto his shaking feet as if he could make it over in time to add action to his warning. 

Li Lianhua pushed himself back from the expanding darkness, expression veiled underneath his hair, and for a moment Fang Duobing thought he might have looked back at him. 

And then all the glow in the dungeon went out, sending the world into a pitch black. 

— 

He didn’t pass out, and he didn’t merely lose sight of everything. 

Between one moment and the next, all the light was gone and even the world dropped out from under his feet, leaving only the sensation of falling without wind, of dropping forevermore in a vast and empty void, like crashing and sinking in the ocean as all his senses dulled along with his vision. 

It was cold and numbing, like pressure along his skin yet there was nothing there. Like there was no air to breathe, but he might yet be crushed in this nothingness, by the nothingness. 

Fang Duobing knew his eyes were open, that he was reaching upward, yet he could not feel nor see his actions. Without sensation, he came the devastating realisation— 

This was within the monster. 

Distantly, he remembered a story about a man swallowed by a whale, and wondered if this fate could be compared to that. 

He wondered until he felt something grab the back of his collar, and drag him up. 

Up and up and up and this time there was a sense of direction, of place, and Fang Duobing gasped for breath and found that there was no air in this void of darkness, no existence outside of this grasp on his clothes pulling him along, and he— 

He breathed. 

Moreover, he choked and he coughed and he curled into a ball as gravity asserted itself on his limbs again and he felt like he weighed a thousand tonnes, pressed into the ground on shaking limbs that came away almost wet but not with a black substance like tar yet felt like it wasn’t there at all. Like black smoke if smoke were opaque at all times and clung the way tar did. 

“Good,” a shaking voice said next to him, and the pressure on his collar disappeared. “Good.”

The familiarity of the voice was enough to remind him of his situation, and Fang Duobing shot out an arm to grab at Li Lianhua’s wrist. “A-are… Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Li Lianhua’s tone was full of fond exasperation, even if Fang Duobing was still blinking dark spots from his vision, only to realise it really was that dark— at least, there was only the barest of light where they were, and he didn’t know where that luminescence came from. He could barely see Li Lianhua’s shape, and even that was difficult as the other man was also covered head to toe with the solidified darkness still dripping off him in clumps from his hair. “Fang Duobing, you’re the one who— didn’t I tell you not to open your eyes or move?”

“I counted,” Fang Duobing croaked out, although he didn’t claim to have done the complete count. His throat felt like it was on fire, yet each breath of air felt cleaner and fresher than the last. “But you—”

“Forget that part,” Li Lianhua said grimmly. “We have to get out now, before the dungeon collapses. Can you stand, or should I carry you?”

The words felt like a dream. Carry me? Fang Duobing was almost tempted to laugh. If anything, he expected it to be the other way around with the two of them in a dungeon, and yet— and yet. 

That wasn’t the case anymore, was it?

Fang Duobing had been prepared to charge forward into the unknown with no real weapon, determined to keep himself between Li Lianhua and danger because despite all their usual bickering and the trouble they got into regularly, Li Lianhua was often sickly and ill. He had a heart condition and a terrible immune system, and he was pale and often didn’t eat healthy enough or just enough in general, and despite the lies and the arguments and betrayals… Fang Duobing had always wanted Li Lianhua to be safe. 

Li Lianhua could keep a level head in any situation, but Fang Duobing was meant to be the one keeping both of them safe. 

Fat lot of good he did, and Li Lianhua— 

Li Lianhua— 

“No,” Fang Duobing insisted, the rasp in his voice giving way to a surge of anger. Grief. Betrayal. Of all the things, he never considered that Li Lianhua would lie about his own health, about who he was in general. Did he ever really know the other man? If they really had a connection, if they truly understood each other the way Fang Duobing always thought they did, then how did he miss this? 

How could Li Lianhua hide this? Lie about this? 

What a connection. What a similar mindset they had. With the monster now not an immediate threat, he couldn’t think of anything other than this. His entire being felt like his thoughts were resonating with this information. Was it truly a connection or had Li Lianhua lied about that as well? He lied about his identity, about his health, about little and big things, he’d lie about the colour of the sky right to Fang Duobing’s face if it amused him, wouldn’t he? 

He would say that’s just the person Li Lianhua was, but Fang Duobing truly didn’t know, did he?

He always did think that Li Lianhua’s features looked a lot like Li Xiangyi, although he was too embarrassed to bring it up after a patient pointed out the resemblance and Li Lianhua merely laughed at that, pointing out that he would have to work on the dosage of his remedies if that’s what they thought. 

But Li Lianhua’s features were both softer and sharper than Li Xiangyi’s, limbs thinner with even his stride stiffer and slower compared to Li Xiangyi’s confident movements. 

Fang Duobing would know. He’d studied Li Xiangyi enough, and stared after Li Lianhua enough. 

“No, tell me now.” Fang Duobing said, hand tightening around Li Lianhua’s wrist. “Tell me what actually happened. Tell me the truth.”

[astrcthesiai-archived]

👛  — personal effects!  - For Chrome!

headcanons ; rainbow series ... (purple/pink)

👛— personal effects! for a headcanon about what my muse keeps on them (in their bag or similar carry item), and why they always have these things on their person day-to-day.

Trident :: Chrome keeps a portion of Mukuro's trident in her bag. It has since turned into a spear for the final arc in the manga. I would like to think Mukuro has a separate one made for himself as both people are of different heights and weights. Chrome excels more in evasion and Mukuro excels in strength. I like to think of these two as two sides of the same coin, or yin-yang inverted. Chrome is what Mukuro wants to be but cannot and vice versa. It has since become a bident (canon divergence on my part), which is the weapon used by Hades or Pluto, ruler of the Underworld. It symbolizes Chrome growing into her own as a person, and being someone both the Vongola and Mukuro can rely on.

Mist Ring & Box Weapon :: Chrome is the keeper of the Mist Ring unless Mukuro has need of it and the box weapon. To me, they are both the Guardian of the Mist. I think Mukuro thinks it is better in her care, and he can communicate with her through the Mist Owl (Mukurou) as needed. As for Chrome, she will give them to Mukuro so he can perform his own duties as the other half of the Guardian of the Mist. Chrome has other tricks up her sleeve since the last chapter of the manga.

Coin Purse :: I think it's a little owl plush, because of Mukurou/Mukurowl. She replaced the right eye with a red one to make it more accurate. When she was younger, Chikusa and Ken bought her a chrome skull wallet because they did not know nor did they care at first what Chrome's tastes were. She eventually purchased a black cat wallet with her allowance.

Black Cat Wallet :: I want to think it was a black cat she saved as a thirteen-year-old. So, she got it to commemorate the cause by which she eventually met her chosen family. She still loves cats, but she still gets some anxiety while crossing the street at intersections. She replaced the right eye with an eye patch. She calls it "Kuroneko". It carries her passport as well.

Pineapple Cell Phone Holder :: Ken bought it for her along with Chikusa and while she dislikes the fruit, she can't bear the thought of hurting Ken and Chikusa. So, she's kept it in mint condition. She thought it was adorable that Ken tried to make an eye patch for one of the Pineapple's eyes.

Keychain & Keys :: She has several keys with various coverings on them. One is for her self-storage space, which she sometimes uses as an apartment to Tsuna's horror. It has a tunafish rubber covering on it just for that. She has a master key to all of the Kokuyo Gang's hideouts, naturally. It is unassuming with its black cat key covering. She drives a Subaru, so she has a star key covering. She has a master key for hideouts to the Vongola which is hidden in her pocketbook or tote bag.

Tablet or Notebook/Mini Laptop :: For communications.

Pen & Notepad :: For writing notes.

Sentimental Circus Make-Up Bag :: She got this from M.M., and has kept it cause it was the first (begrudging) gift from M.M. Chrome keeps her cosmetics in this bag. She thinks the twin bunny mascots and everyone else are like the Kokuyo Gang, so she's taken a liking to the stationery mascot.

Oracle Deck & Tarot Deck :: For the funsies...

Travel-sized Ouija Board Keychain :: Just to horrify her friends. I'm sure Mukuro would like to burn it too...

[eunxyeong]

tw: blood, death mentions, allusions to depressive thoughts and suicidal ideation..

staring at his phone, it took everything to not crush it in his hand. it was rare for eun. the desperate feeling under his skin. growing into something could devour. beryl knew but would say nothing. the other in france knew, also said nothing. something foreboding in the man’s voice when they had spoken about the elder vampire’s confusion. it was caution he heard in the youngers voice. his fingers got marginally tighter around the expensive phone. there were things he could not remember before. post often he approached them with a nonchalance that age could allow him. but not now. not for the one he had run into. there was something boiling in his blood, and he couldn’t name it.

so, he thought of other options. mortal psychology was an option. that, however, took time. patience. a love for oneself that eun wasn’t certain he could give to himself in the moment. sleep would not save him, for sleep never came. there would be now dreams to connect the scents and feelings. then there was magic. magic. something he didn’t often rely on simple because being dependent on others to do it rubbed him the wrong way. his distrust of most people in the world made sure he was careful with everyone he encountered. even if it didn’t seem to be that way. his secrets were his own…

the phones metal casing began to creak with the pressure his hands were putting on it. a bone deep ache twisted in his gut when he closed his eyes. the smell, so familiar, like fire on the wind but the warmth of it. comfort. battle with the emotions that seeped between each conscious thought. hunger, but it didn’t feel the same as it usually did. something pleasant curling up like a cat. a contentment he didn’t understand.

those were all muted. nothing compared to the gut-wrenching despair. it colored every moment eun tried to dig more. it grasped at his heart, that some days he forgot he had. he ached. like something raw torn open for the world to touch. the taste of blood on his tongue did nothing to ease it. it tasted like ash. as if he was swallowing down what had been left behind by the fire burning within him. a sympathy of confusion and a pain he didn’t fully understand. when the crescendo of his thought finally crashed… there was only one thing left behind…

with a cry, more akin to a snarl out of his mouth, the phone was crushed in his hand. the pieces thrown to the side as if it had offended him… it starts from there. his rage tearing him apart from the inside out. he is only lucky enough that he somehow keeps himself from leaving his home. the devastation eun would unleash would only be upon himself.

the inferno raged…

nothing near him was safe, as he tore through his living room. priceless antiques. carefully hunted down artifacts. they all crashed against on his cold floor. shards of them digging into his skin but the flash of pain was nothing compared to the inferno in his mind. eun didn’t stop. not when slivers of wood and glass dug their way into his skin. rapid healing encasing them as if they belong there. his bare feet not safe from the damage but it did nothing to cause him to cease.

soon enough, there was no object within the closest of his reach that stood in one piece. nothing but destruction all around him. it was a miracle that he didn’t go further. that he was able to plop onto the ground and leave the moment at that.

in silence, he sat. gone was the heat of his rage. the flames doused in something so numb all he could do for a moment was blink. his own blood covered his skin, but the wounds were healed. tomorrow, he would need to dig out the shards. tomorrow, he may clean up the living room. leave it barren and as empty as he was feeling in the moment. tomorrow he would present himself as if nothing changed. as if there will be no discomfort in his limbs until he picked out every piece out of his skin.

eun would smile and flirt like there was no desperation in his soul. like he didn’t wish to crawl into a cave. never leave. but that wouldn’t due. he had items to get for his favorite little bedlam. she would help him in her own way when they finally got the chance. a sudden strike of anger hit him deep at the thought that he had to wait because of fucking hunters. useless humans that feared everything that was more powerful them... if given the moment, he could kill most of them himself.

there was a sigh, one he didn’t need to let out but the practice of it seemed to calm him slightly. quietly, his eyes closed as he slowly leaned back. soon enough he was laying in the shattered pieces around him as if they weren’t there. one more sigh, moved over his lips as he simply laid there. with intention of moving. with no urge to move, eun allowed his muscles to relax

nothing around him but destruction and the darkness of night. silently, he wished for oblivion to fill him to the brim. swallow him whole. if only for a moment. for a small amount of time. perhaps he could leave all of the rest there too. in the dark.

[ilaiyayaya]

I hate how ever since i mentioned to my coworkers that im trying to move away soon theyre all telling me every single day that i should just transfer, it feels like theyre trying to pressure me not to quit and it literally makes me want to quit more i hate it. Like realistically based on everything I've heard from every person here that's transferred from another store, and other people i know who work at other locations like, my particular store is just like, exceptionally shit, like the norm is probably a lot better but like, I'm fucking burnt out and I don't want to work at the same fast food place for my entire life. Even if I did transfer like, I'd have to immediately start working again doing the same stuff and like, I desperately need a break, like not for a week, but for like a couple months, and I wouldn't get that if I didn't just quit. And I don't desperately need money at the moment, like in the long term I probably will, but not at this moment, my original goal for this job in the first place was to save enough to move out and then quit, and I hit that goal like, a long time ago so now I'm kinda just, here for no reason aside from just having a reason to not be at my house, but like I hope won't need that motivation after I'm out of my dad's house. Also I hate like half of my coworkers at this point so whether I'm at home or not now I'm around people that make me uncomfortable.

Another thing is like, 90% of why I chose this particular job originally was because the insurance partially covers HRT, and like that would still be useful, but I'm not even on my job's insurance because I'm too stupid to even know how to apply for it, so I never did when I started and now that I want to quit it doesn't really feel like there's much of a point in applying for it now. Plus I also don't really want to get stuck in relying on my job's insurance to pay for HRT because then I'd feel like I wouldn't be able to ever quit and would have to just keep working at this same place forever which would be hell, even if trying to pay for HRT without insurance is another kind of equally hellish situation.

[panimoonchild]

Let there be at least hatred of the enemy, rely on it as the ground under your feet

I tried to translate the post of the combat medic:

In 2019, Russians set fire to a street in the village where we are stationed. A bunch of supplies, a bunch of food, a bunch of resources, which we count only once, are burning. There is no wind, no air - instead, there is black smoke, I am literally suffocating (I was sick, I didn't know).

Me: I'm going to go out to help.

Partner: Stop! Now there will be another strike in that place.

Me: Don't joke, we need to run faster, what if there are wounded?

Partner just blocks the door with his body. In a minute: another strike.

Me: what was that?

Partner: It's their tactic for reckless people like you.

During the war, we discovered many horrible things. Including the bloody tactics of the Russians: kill some and then cover with shelling the rescuers again.

After all, by killing the rescuers, you make all those who are still alive absolutely defenseless. There will be no one to save them, whether they are all dead or injured.

There is so much pain and understanding of its causes that I have no room for any emotions.

Just don't think that it was an accident. They knew that medics and rescuers were ALREADY working at the site because this is the human order. This murder is one of thousands of crimes.

Russians are manure, not a nation. Everyone who considers them human beings will also burn in hell with them in the same cauldron.

Unbelievable levels of hell every day, but you have to hold on to something. So let there be at least hatred of the enemy, rely on it as the ground under your feet.

***

Amen on the last statement. Thank you, Frank. Russia is a terrorist state.

Please keep spreading our voices and donate to our army and combat medics (savelife.in.ua, prytulafoundation.org, Serhii Sternenko, hospitallers.life, ptahy.vidchui.org and u24.gov.ua).