it's crazy how well my dad hits the criteria for abusive behaviour without even trying. yesterday he was laying into me for wasting my life and having no self-respect because i got a barista job so i'd be happier at work while i look for something more long-term and successful and maybe earn some qualifications, harassing me on the phone while i tried to relax after my shift at my current job and guilt tripping me for making a decision about my own life that doesn't affect or involve him in any way. and now today he's sending me job ads which he ends with messages of love and support. it's textbook cyclical abusive behaviour! tear me down, then offer me a way up with the same hand that was just trying to knock me to the ground. take out all his frustration on me in an excruciating tirade of esteem-destroying vitriol, then make me doubt the validity of my resentment by being kind and approachable. flip the switch on a dime so i never feel certain or safe about where i stand. and the worst thing is i know he doesn't even mean it. he thinks he's helping. he thinks what he's doing is good and right and an expression of his love. he genuinely feels bad for hurting me. his concern for my future happiness is real. but it won't prevent him from doing it again next time, or feeling justified in every previous instance.
898 notes
·
View notes
i’ve talked about this before but a bpd symptom i absolutely HATE is the lack of emotional permanence.
no matter how many loving people i have in my life, the second they are gone it's like i was never loved and that it's all in my imagination but as soon as they come back, it's like i've never been sad
717 notes
·
View notes
some viktors in czech and polish folk costume and a less specific miscellany from the past few months :-) i have to draw very very small with this pen which feels appropriate for him
[id: two pages of digital drawings done with a fine pixel brush. the first image is a series of coloured drawings of viktor standing in a variety of costumes. common articles across the outfits are puffy white shirts, colourful breeches, embroidered waistcoats, and decorative flowers. in each drawing viktor is smiling and leaning on his cane. the second image is a selection of drawings of viktor standing and sitting in various poses, looking generally cheerful. in one he is sitting next to barbie, who is smiling at him. the text beside it reads ‘Barbie (they are friends)’. end id.]
669 notes
·
View notes
now I'm going through the game and imagining Sonic in thise scenarios. he would die again laughing at Knuckles attempting a cowboy accent. I can imagine him trying to use his gHoStLy PoWeRs to stop the bomb. oh god the image of him trying to hit it with a random broom (or smth like that) that was in the safe for some reason while the others aren't looking is now in my head
(also you don't need to get to this immediately. let the older asks go first they deserve it)
PLEASE
171 notes
·
View notes
apologies for bein silly (stupid) and forgetting to follow ppl back, very quickly went through my follow list, I’d love more arcane friends !! so if i missed u and u wanna be mutuals, pls feel free to let me know :3
44 notes
·
View notes