#because it's just WILD to me that you leave this movie knowing in your soul how much mario loves and needs his brother

[chloecherrysip]

As much as I mourn all the lines that appeared in mario movie trailers but for some reason, didn't make it to the finished product (RIP "I'm not afraid! I'd do anything for my brother!" YOU LIVE ON IN MY HEART ALWAYS AND FOREVER), I've been thinking about "I hope you told your brother how much you love him, because you're probably never gonna see him again" and the rest of that whole dialogue exchange in particular from this specific trailer and how much I wish we'd gotten that moment because I think it would have helped spotlight a vital aspect of Mario's character that the movie already does a REALLY good job with getting across in the first place: the way he communicates how he feels through action and acts of service instead of words!

(more under the cut because this got too long, haha)

Mario is usually a very quiet protagonist so this tracks with the games too, obviously, but even movie!Mario seems like someone who isn't overly verbose or who's especially eager to enter into heavy, feelings-based conversations (at least not without a struggle). Talking about his feelings might not come easy to him, and he maybe even forgets to say things outloud that to him, seem obvious. (Meanwhile, I think Luigi is always up for gushing about his favorite people (see the interrogation scene lol) and probably ends every phone call/text message exchange ever with "love you!" to Mario and his parents, to the point that he might accidentally say it to acquaintances and customers too on occasion, LOL).

So thinking about this exchange with Toad and how, even if the movie didn't acknowledge it past that point, this idea would be hanging over Mario throughout his journey hits harder because you can imagine him thinking: hey, when WAS the last time he told Luigi outright that he loved him that wasn't a distracted "yeah, me too" response to Luigi saying it first? Maybe it's been a long time. Too long. So long it's genuinely upsetting for him to realize! What if his brother doesn't actually know how much Mario loves him, because he does, he does so much, and he's been an idiot for going so long without saying the actual words and now he can't, he CAN'T and he would give anything in the world to go back and do things differently!

And of course, all this panic is totally unwarranted and even silly because I think Luigi knows like his own name how much Mario loves him. Because the audience watching this movie knows how much Mario loves his brother by that point! Mario never says the actual words - in fact, he never says anything particularly positive about Luigi, other than "you were great!" regarding the commercial in the very beginning - and yet it couldn't be any clearer!!! I think it's pretty impossible to come out of this movie (if you were paying attention in the least) not seeing that love plain as day in everything Mario does, down to the littlest things, because he is a man of action and that's how he expresses himself best!

You see it in how he shifts from mildly embarrassed to immediately Intense and Ready To Throw Down on a dime when Spike insults Luigi, you see it in how he pauses to open doors and create paths for Luigi to safely follow him through the construction site as he's parkouring, you see it when the dog becomes aggressive and Mario is just entirely focused on keeping Luigi behind him, pushing him out of harm's way, getting the dog's attention so it will attack him instead, etc. You see it in the warp pipe when his entire demeanor changes the second he realizes Luigi is in trouble, how he desperately paddles to reach him and grab his hand and comfort him about the situation. You see it in how his brother is front of mind for him at every point in his adventure and that's why he fights so hard to talk to Peach, why he agrees to the fight with DK, why he keeps trying even when things seem hopeless and no one believes he can do it. You see it written all over Mario's face during the reunion, every single little way he touches Luigi and brings him closer and checks in on him with crystal-clear relief and joy and gentleness!!! The "show, don't tell" aspect is just OFF THE CHARTS IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE because that's how Mario is. He's not so good at words and remembering to say them. When he loves someone, he wears that feeling, he lives that feeling in so much of what he chooses to do and how he interacts with the world, and while it's always good to say these things outloud now and then just to be clear everyone's on the same page (and I'm sure he does after the movie, haha), it doesn't make it any less meaningful. :)

[steviewashere]

Words Like A Bullet, Wounding My Soul

(also on ao3)

This is Part One, Part Two is Posted Here!

CW: Implied/Referenced Sex, Safeword Use (No Smut, Though) Rating: Teen

WC: 2,543

Tags: Post Vecna, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Arguing, Eddie Being Mean, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Emotionally Hurt Steve Harrington, Insecure Eddie Munson, Insecure Steve Harrington, Safeword Use, NO SMUT, Using a Safeword While Arguing, Hard of Hearing Steve Harrington, Dialogue Heavy

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson

----------------- Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington were two forces not to be reckoned with. Everybody knew this. If Eddie was snippy and rough and loud—then people zipped their lips, threw away the key, and sat on their hands. If Steve was cold and distant and biting with every word—then the others knew to be warm and inviting and leave the past in the past.

These were known facts.

It was also known that Eddie and Steve were a pair. They were gentle with each other and all soft and gooey around the edges. Often, they'd circulate each other in public—skimming fingertips over backs of hands, sharing straws because somebody "forgot" to grab another—or behind the privacy of closed doors—entangled on the couch during movie nights and washing dishes after large dinners and exchanging quiet glances that everyone knew meant, "Horny and Impatient."

But they definitely knew how to choke each other out. Insecurities ran deep and were easy to point out. Like mold on bread slices.

So it makes perfect senes that they constantly argued, too. Usually mundane situations. Things like: "Ugh, Steve! It's my turn to choose what we watch, enough with the basketball!" and "Eddie, stop leaving your dishes strewn about!" and "No, I'll pick up everybody and drop them off!" Though, these were quickly resolved. A deep breath taken, a compromise made, and a few warm pecks exchanged.

However, on a slow Thursday evening in the middle of November, things go haywire.

They've been neck at neck for hours. Biting back and forth about the usual. The dishes. Your sports game. No, I'll do this. No, I can do it. Yet, everything comes crashing down the moment Eddie says:

"God, you're being so stupid!" Shouted and spitting. He's red faced and wild. His body lanky and petrifying the way a molten skeleton in some very graphic thriller movie would be.

Steve stops where he's been pacing in the living room. Now glancing back over to Eddie on the couch. "What?" he asks in a quiet, shaking voice. He doesn't remember anything about the argument, but he can definitely hear the way Eddie's voice echoes now. Doesn't know where the snarky remarks were going, how they dissolved now into this.

This being the two of them several feet apart in the same room. Not looking at each other, trying to find the most convenient and decorated corner of the Harrington's living room. Spitting and biting and growling.

"You're being so stupid!" Eddie shouts again. "I feel like every time I try to explain something to you, I'm just talking to a brick wall! Do you even listen to me? Or are you just a fucking space cadet all the time?" He runs a frustrated hand down his face, pulling at his features exaggeratingly. "For once, I wish you'd listen to me, just once!"

There's a tense moment where Steve just stands rigid and Eddie must take this as some sort of confirmation. Because he hefts himself up from the couch and makes his way around the coffee table to where Steve is just standing. A bony finger stabs into Steve's chest. Eddie closes in, voice low and husky. Face centimeters away, eyes lit with ingenuine mirth and teeth glinting in the shape of fangs. "See?" he questions lowly. "Can't even fucking give me an answer."

And something finally wakes up in Steve. He takes a wobbling step back, feeling cold air rush around him. "Wh-what? Of course I listen to you. I just—"

"You just what?" Eddie raises. His voice itching to be loud and louder. "You just listen to what you want to hear? Want me to call you pretty names and tell you how good you are and how excited I am to see you?" he taunts. "But when it's something I care about—"

Steve flinches at his wording.

"—when it's something I care about, you just can't bother," Eddie growls. "If it isn't fascinating to you, then you just tune me out. Your brain fucking implodes and shrivels back down to being jock sized and empty." He takes a hefty step forward, once again in Steve's orbit. A palm raises in Steve's line of sight, it shoves hard at his chest. Not sending him to the floor, but stumbling enough that he wheezes from the impact.

Eddie moves again to try it once more, to make Steve feel small.

But, Steve sidesteps him. "That's not true," he tries to argue, but it sounds too soft and tiny to be anything. "You were talking about D&D and I tried to follow along, but you know how I am with that stuff. It doesn't—"

"It doesn't connect," Eddie mocks. "Fuck you, Harrington. I've heard that a million times before and each one of those times, I've explained this shit to you. Over and over and—"

"Fuck me?! Fuck you, Eddie!" Save finally screams back. "Do you even hear yourself right now? You're being such an asshole, you know how I am with being called du—"

Eddie scoffs. "Oh, so for years, you and your little pack of high school bullies can mock me for shit. Call me names. Toss me around. And the one time I finally call you out on this, it's suddenly too much?!" he roars. "You're so—" He grunts, groans, screams nearly.

"Stop, Eddie," Steve demands. Tome firm first.

But Eddie barrels on anyway. "You're such a dick. You think everything revolves around you. You don't care for anything I have to say. You—"

"Stop," Steve pleads.

"You don't really care for anybody around you, do you?" he questions darkly. "'Just wanted to help,' my ass. Just wanted to clear your name, more like. Am I right? And now you're just stuck here, fucking jumping to whatever conclusions you want, following the wording you want to hear—"

"Red!" Steve screams. "Red, red, red!" he shouts before turning towards the couch and sitting down heavily. Head in his hands, fingers pulling at the hair around his ears. His throat feels like it's on fire and his head is pounding and there's definitely tears threatening to pour from his eyes. Peeking between the gap of his palms, the carpet is a mirage of blended colors, not a single one making a complete picture. But he can't look up from it. Not after having to practically safeword out of an argument.

Eddie is now startled into silence. His body turns to face his boyfriend. Where he sits, shaking and choking on quiet sobs. There's a brief moment where Eddie can literally feel his heart parachute to his stomach. Can hear the sizzling of his organ and the rush of his own blood. He's never heard Steve get loud like this. Usually he's so quiet and pensive and passive aggressive, but this, this is a new side. And Eddie doesn't like it at all.

It was common between them to try new things out and see what pleasure can be derived. And if things were taken too far or something immediately felt off-putting or terrible, they were allowed to exit the scene at any time. The stoplight system. Their shared word being "Asparagus." Things that could easily be heard and shut down everything at once, forcing them into a gentle lull where they share whispered praises and warm compliments and careful touches with a soft rag or just fingers.

So it's not unusual for Eddie to hear it. He's had to comfort Steve after a few scenes. And Steve's done the same for him.

What gets him is the context now. How tense the room feels, like walking into an already heated up sauna. Like walking into a hot tub set to one thousand degrees, in nothing—absolutely nothing.

And even though they’re fighting, Eddie’s immediate care kicks into overdrive. He forces his body to skitter over to the couch, plop down by Steve’s side, and reach out to rub a palm over his back. But when his skin makes contact, Steve flinches away.

“Don’t fucking touch me right now,” he growls. And when his eyes look deep into Eddie’s, there’s something tragic there. “You—You don’t get to say shit like that to me and then try to—Try to,” he chokes. A sob caught between a gag and a phlegm cough cracks open from his chest. “I don’t understand what I did wrong,” he cries out.

Eddie is once again quiet, keeping his hands to himself. Running them nervously over his thighs. It takes everything in him to not reach out and scoop Steve up and run fingers through his hair. He swallows and breathes. Opting to not respond. Maybe this will teach him to shut his mouth, for once.

Steve cries loud and harsh. And Eddie bears witness to it all. The contortion of his body, the reddening of his skin, the pulling of his hair, especially the wailing that’s spilling from his closing throat.

“I was listening,” Steve hiccups. “I was, I swear. I didn’t—“ His breath stutters through his next inhale. Lip sucking inwards when he does attempt a deep breath; it’s not like it lasts, merely only sitting in his lungs for three seconds before punching back between them. “I couldn’t hear you!” He exclaims. 

There’s no residual anger in Steve’s tone, though Eddie thinks there should be. God, he feels like a pile of shit just for the way Steve is holding himself right now. How his body is giving up on him. The way he continues to writhe through each stabbing cough and sob and gag and—He just feels like shit.

Though, alarms are going off in Eddie’s head. What Steve just said, that doesn’t make any sense. They were facing each other. They were sitting only two inches apart, practically every open area of skin clinging to one another. For a moment, Eddie once again feels anger spike through him. But the other part of him is overcome with deep concern, rippling in his blood, pouring out in the way his eyes widen and his eyebrows furrow and his mouth shifts downturned.

“You couldn’t hear me?” He parrots.

Steve nods his head. A bobblehead who’s spring is wound too loose, head flopping almost over its shoulders. “I—I was going to tell you, I swear. But I—You were talking and talking and I couldn’t read your lips because that’s really hard and you talk super fast and when you talk fast you mumble and—“ He gags. Slams his back behind into the couch, head dropping over the curved edge. He blinks rapidly, swallows so aggressive that his Adam’s apple appears to be plunging from behind his tongue. A deep breath, short lived. Two more deep breaths and they wheeze through him, but it must be enough because he carries on. “And then you got mad and you were so mean and I swear I was listening, I was interested, I just didn’t understand. And you get so tired of having to reexplain things that I didn’t want to ask and then you got even more mad and now—I was listening, I swear!” He cries out once more.

In response, Eddie’s jaw is dropped slack. He couldn’t hear me, he realizes. Genuinely, really.Scrambling, he whispers, “And I got mad and I called you stupid and then…” And then he called red, you idiot, Eddie self-chastises.

God, he is really a steaming back of flaming dog shit.

Taking another breath, Steve exhales with, “I was listening.” He tilts his head to look directly at Eddie. Eyes open and pleading. Begging to be understood. “I’m losing my hearing, Eds. I was going to tell you, but I didn’t—I didn’t get the chance. And then you were—“

“I was being mean. I was being an asshole. I wasn’t listening to you,” Eddie lists off. “I was doing the things that I accused you of,” he realizes.

Steve nods against the back of the couch. Blinking and blinking and swallowing and trembling.

“Oh my god, you couldn’t hear me, you couldn’t understand me,” Eddie whispers. Suddenly, he shoots upwards. Nearly startling Steve into another frantic round of panic. “How long, Steve?”

“Since March,” Steve admits, almost shamefully. “My head slammed into the wall inside of the Creel house and I ended up with another concussion. And that was the start of it,” he elaborates. “It’s just been going from there.”

As he talks, Eddie begins to silently cry. And when Steve’s done, Eddie sobs.

“And this entire time…Oh my god,” he mumbles. “Oh my god,” he repeats. Choking through his next breath. “Baby—“ Steve perks up at that. “—Baby why didn’t you mention this earlier?”

Steve shrugs. “Everybody else had it worse off. It didn’t seem important.” He sniffs. “Guess now it kind of is though, right?” A humorless chuckle. “If that’s how you’ve been thinking of me.”

Damn him, Eddie thinks. Damn him and stu—and his unnecessary self-sacrificial nature. “Sweetheart, you’re not stupid. I swear, you’re not stupid. Steve, you are one of the most intelligent people I have ever had the fortune of coming across. You know just what to say, when to say it. You’ve got that interest in classic literature, which I fucking adore by the way. And you know almost too much about any sport in the world. That’s—Your sport stuff is like D&D for me.

“God, you’re not stupid. Not by a mile. I just—I’ve always been treated like shit for the things I like. And I know that’s not an excuse, it’s just the way I’ve had to adapt and grow, y’know?” He asks rhetorically. “If I got defensive and angry and vicious, then people left me alone. And I could enjoy my stuff in peace. But when I tried to share the things I liked, people were fast to tune me out and shrug me off.” Eddie slowly inches in again, gauging Steve’s reaction. When he doesn’t flinch, but instead moves close, Eddie shoves a hand into the back of his hair and slings his other arm over Steve’s lap. Thumb rubbing at Steve’s denim thigh. He says, “You’ve never been stupid. I just thought you didn’t care. Nobody has ever cared about me the way you care about me, I swear it.”

Steve nuzzles in closer. He breathes against Eddie’s neck. Murmurs, “Everything you like is special to me. And I want to be able to understand. I’m trying.”

“I know baby, I see that now,” Eddie whispers. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you previously and today. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

He squeezes Steve tighter. An attempt to meld their bodies into one.

“I love you so much, Steve. We’re going to figure something out. Learn a language or raise some money for a hearing aid, whatever you want.”

Against Eddie’s chest, Steve nods. “I love you too,” he whispers. Presses a kiss over Eddie’s left pec. “You’re gonna have to show me though.”

“Whatever you fucking want, Steve. You can have anything you want from me.” And he can feel the smirk against his neck. But Eddie is willing and able to give. “Take anything you want from me.”

----------------- Part Two is Here!

[thethirdpapa]

"Father, bless me for that I will sin"

Summary: Father Jim deFroque gets possesed by a familiar face AN: Happy Jesus he knows me anniversairy y´all have a bit of Jim suffering in honor of that. Let me know if you want part 2. Also the art is a nod to a very beloved horror game. Guess which one in the comments!! TW: Possesion , cussing , discussion of religion , mild gore , pain Words: 1,3k

Father Jim deFroque. Some call him the good willing father of the Jesus talks, some know him from his masses, some know him from his not so holy night life. Somewhat he had the trace of a glorious Popstar-Life, but behind this naïve look and the preaching of comfortable lies with the subtle manipulation of giving some man all your money to be greeted into heaven with open arms. Not to speak that Jum had a lot of interesting callers , especially around easter. Some days he wondered if it wasn’t the infamous ministry who chased these kinds of calls upon his neck to annoy him. But , as a priest must, he kept his patience all the way, And it wasn’t only his good willing patience that helped him stay calm during the arguments on the Jesus talks, but also the leftovers from his wild nights . Some wonder if he had a cold that he never gets rid off as they get to hear the sniffing from time to time on calls

Yet , one call was interesting. It came , late at night while he was in the bathroom , taking care of his hair. He forgot to leave the light on in his bedroom , which made the call coming from it seem like the scene right before a jumpscare in a horror movie. The only source of light was the moon from outside, shimmering lightly through the stained glass. Jim picked up, who would he be if not a priest always available for his devoted followers?He was just surprised the call did go to his mobile phone rather than the one he was given by the church for the jesus talks. He picked up.

“Good evening ,May god bless your soul. you are speaking to Father Jim deFroque. How may I help you?” he answered in his usual demeanor. There was no answer. Except some weird, breathing noises. Jim thought it was one of these interesting calls again and was about to hang up when suddenly , a rather familiar voice spoke . “Another day of serving the lord?” . What a weird.. teasy sounding question. Jim firstly had to think for a moment. “Sir, is this a serious question or do you just want to …” Jim started with a confused tone as the voice interrupted him “..No..no.. genuine question.” . “Well , yes, obviously. How shall I not fulfill my duty of serving our shepherd” Jim responded in his usual demeanor. “How are you so sure that he is actually real? Has he done something to prove his existence to you?” Yes, it was done of those callers again. Jim took a deep sigh, deciding if he should just shit on the rules and tell the caller to fuck off, or if he should grab into his basket of “evidence” he keeps repeating like a broken record.

He decided for option two, he does not need any troubles right now , as he did not wish to ruin his image just because it was 2 am and he was about to go to bed since he didn’t feel like clubbing today. “Well you see, I consider my duty and life to be a blessing of our lord and saviour. He has led me to my mission to bring the message of the holy spirit to the masses and redirect the people back to the right path” . There was silence , then a chuckling.. “redirect them to the right path..sure” the voice replies snarky “do you ask them if they wish to? Do they come to you even?” Jim felt himself getting tired of this pointless conversation, but also weirdly anxious. “Sir, I only do what I must, not what I decide is the solution” . The voice snickered at that. “Im sure they’ll appreciate you” . That was when the call ended. Leaving Jim with the phone in his hand, starring at the screen of the suppressed number. Jim found this weird, but nothing shocking. And decided to go to bed, but he still couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was out to get him.

Jim didn’t have the most pleasant dream either, a rather short figure appearing in his dream only to laugh at him. As he stepped closer to the figure he got to see their face, it was familiar face paint what burned itself into his memory. The unmatched eyes, it was like he has seen them before. Why was this haunting him?  But that wasn’t the worst of it all. As the figure stepped closer, He was revealing his horns, and the ground beneath Jim was burning. They just watched him on fire, waving even a little with a smile he didn’t know was meant to be a greeting or a farewell. The eyes and the face paint stayed in his memory even as he awoke. It was still dark. He checked his watch , spotting it was only five am

The light in the bathroom was still on. Jim couldn’t recall if he switched it off before bed or not so he forced himself up to turn it off. Yet his eyes were greeted with a different scenery as he wished to. There was red paint on his mirror, spelling the word Sinner. Now that was the final straw to get the faithful man out of his calm demeanor. He inspected the paint, but the paint turned it out to be blood.

Firstly Jim went to check his locks and windows, in case someone wanted to pull a prank on him. But all locked and closed. Which was weird. To say the least. “Holy Father have mercy on my soul…” Jim whispered under his breath. And the plead was replies with a chuckling. The same as on the call. Jim shook his head, refusing to let his mind trick him. He started to consider that these were the after effects of his last trip. As he stood in front of the mirror with disbelief the light switched off.

Jim unintentionally screamed. Not sure if it was the shock  or the fact that everything what was going on seemed out of a horror movie. He prayed quietl under his breath, pinched himself even to wake himself up from this nightmare. Pleading to whoever was listening to stop his madness. “No, No” it sounded behind him. Jim gulped  and turned around to the noise,  (He felt incredibly stupid for acting like a horror movie protagonist in this situation) and spotted the man from his dreams sit there. Didn’t they say he was dead? Decaptivated even? And of course he had horns. He smirked at Jim. “So ..Are you still on the right path?, Father?" He asked while looking absent minded towards the wall . “What a stupid question, of course I am. What do you want, my soul? “ Jim yelled hysterically , losing his demeanor. Why was he tormenting him like that?

The man stood up. He didnt answer his question but was smirking even brighter. “Lets see how he can save you now from that” he replied, with that he revealed his horns and wings. He snapped his finger and a burning pain claimed Jim´s chest. The father screamed for mercy. To anyone that would listen to help him. “Burn in hell you--…” Jim went quiet. He felt something shift, enter his mind and spread inside him like poison , no prayers would save him now. And he was simply not qualified for an exorcism on himself and way too panicked to continue. Jim felt his faith fade, along with his mind.  No matter how hard he tried to stay and not let the evil take him over, it was too late for salvation. The begs of mercy faded slowly. His tortured expression turned into one of satisfaction

Father Jim was no more, his smile was not his own, his eyes always overshadowed with the omnipresent glow of his red eyes. Jim slowly got up, groaning from his floor. Facing his new form in the mirror. A bright smile painted his face and he chuckled. A weird dark red substance trickled from his mouth and eyes , and his iris were black along.

And with that the beloved father was gone , buried deep beneath the shadows of the possesion , locked in the dark of his mind.

[plutosmainhoe]

☾ Aquarius Moon Tings ☽

Just some observations I have picked up along the way as a 4H Aquarius Moon that married a 12H Aquarius Moon

🚨 By no means am I an astrologer. Please take this with a grain of salt 🚨

🌙 IMO most people know that natal Aquarius Moons don't acknowledge their feelings and emotions very well; But it's much more than that. From what I have seen, they understand their emotions, they just don't process them. Aqua Moons are very good at analysing situations but it only extends to there. If a negative situation occurs, they are likely to analyse and move on and not dwell on the situation.

🌙 Relationship with their mother is strange; depending on aspects ofc. Though, looking away from aspects, I've noticed that Aqua moons tend to have an okay relationship with their mother, it is just complicated and inconsistent. They often want to seperate themselves from their mother figure yet continue a low-key relationship with them. Most rebellion forms from the connection to their Mother.

🌙 Aqua Moons have a thing for music, I swear. It is such a big part of their lives. And it's not to just enjoy the music they listen to, it is how they openly express their emotions. I can give you a song based on how I feel towards my mother, but I absolutely cannot tell you how I feel about her through my own emotions.

🌙 It is awkward talking about emotions, most Aqua moons I have met don't really have the tolerance for sympathy/empathy? i.e. I have a Cancer Venus, I am very compassionate and I have a lot of love to give, but fuck I don't want to hear about how bad your week has been, idk how to fix it for you.

🌙 Depending on their Mercury sign/aspects to mercury, an evolved Aqua Moon can definitely process and communicate their emotions effectively; they just need to evolve first. My husband, 12H Aqua Moon trine 9H Libra Mercury, is bloody awesome at discussing his emotions. I, on the other hand; 4H Aqua Moon non-aspecting 8H Gemini Mercury, am horrid at discussing and processing my emotions and tend to avoid it most of the time (bcos I'm un-evolved asf)

🌙 Adding to above ↑ Just because you have evolved doesn't mean you will magically process your emotions each time. Aqua Moons have a habit of living in their head, though they analyse and move on, they can tend to overthink.

🌙 Definitely have a 'I don't fucking care' or 'Whatever' vibe. It can be hard to connect to Aqua Moons because of this. They can be very straightforward and direct (remember, they display sympathy/empathy weirdly), I wouldn't suggest looking for emotional advise from an Aquarius Moon.

🌙 They be old souls 100%. Old movies, music, tv shows, clothing. Or they may have very different tastes in these aspects to the norm. Aquarius being eccentric, free and rebellious, it is unlikely you will find an Aqua Moon that has the same interests as society (or any Aquarius placement for that matter, my Aqua Sun dad is WILD. He is so fucking weird ilhsm)

🌙 I just want to talk about the 4H for a minute, because I haven't read much on this placement regarding an Aqua Moon. I have 4H Aquarius Moon, Uranus, SN, I/C (ofc) and 3H Aqua Neptune - all conjunct to each other (help). Let me tell you, when I say my upbringing was unconventional, it was fucking unconventional. ☾ I was always travelling, whether it was to family 30mins away or across the country; We were never really at home, always doing something (perks of having a Sagg mum ig) ☾ Traditions are very important, as well as ties to home. However, though these are important to my family, I would prefer to break from these chains (Moon conjunct Uranus) ☾ speaking on my 4H Moon/Uranus friends, how much does it suck that we have to be the ones to break ancestral generational curses? ☾ Black sheep of the family vibes - I constantly fight with my mother about the standards she sets for me and the standards she sets for my sister. (Thnx 3H Neptune conjunct 4H Moon 🖤) ☾ Definitely have a high chance of leaving home young - They seek freedom and being tied to home is not free; especially if there are harsh aspects to the Moon. Using my 4H placements, I left home at 19. ☾ Pluto aspects are super interesting when the Aqua Moon is in the 4H. Depending the aspect, natives can either face easy transformations to their emotions regarding home life/mother/emotions, or it can be super difficult. Mine is sextile Pluto; I am really good a reading emotional atmosphere changes and can pinpoint when a change is happening with my emotions internally. Harder aspects (Square, Opposition, Conjunct) will make it difficult to understand when a transformation in atmosphere/emotions is present.

🌙 Notice how Aqua Moons have a small, tight group of friends; no matter their Sun sign? I've noticed it is because the people they pick to become close friends with have something to give emotionally. We don't understand our emotions, but someone else does. You could have a Gemini/Sagittarius Sun and have a massive group of friends, but if you have an Aqua Moon alongside this, you will likely have a large group of friends, but a select few that you actually connect well with.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! ~PMH 🍃

[vampzxi]

𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭!𝘳𝘪𝘳𝘪 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

hi guys i finally finished the riri hcs...dont jump me idk why they took so long. if you have any other hcs PLEASE tell me i literally love riri so much it's probably unhealthy at this point. check out my highschool!shuri headcanons here! :)

taglist!: @vixentheplanet @abenomeiiii @inmyheadimobsessed @zayswriting @pinkwright @ccharrrr @letitias-fav @shuriszn @generallysapphic @iotusroses @marsolgy @ihearttish (ask to be added or fill out this form. i'm so forgetful i'm sorry!)

academic

・❥・top of her class, dur 🤦🏽 (her and shuri are a year apart, riri being a junior)

・❥・homework side hustle (she’s a very expensive woman)

・❥・prefers math over any other subject, cannot stand english

・❥・despite not liking english, she has a very creative mind and all her english teachers love her

・❥・very quiet in class, minds her business for the most part

・❥・frequently spends all-nighters on her homework simply because she got too distracted (chronic procrastinator)

・❥・undiagnosed adhd

・❥・fidgeter. will bounce her leg, tap her nails on the desk, mess with her jewelry, cannot stay still in her seat

・❥・neat handwriting because her mom and step-dad taught her how to write nicely from a young age

・❥・terrible test anxiety

・❥・slick mouth often gets her into a lot of arguments with teachers.. (she made a teacher retire early once)

・❥・spends most of her time in her welding/metallurgy class, before and after school. if she's not there then she's at the garage

・❥・was forced into the debate club because her teacher told her to "channel her argumentative energy elsewhere" but she ended up loving it and wins most of her meets

social

・❥・despite keeping to herself, virtually everyone is cool with her

・❥・skips class with shuri sometimes

・❥・naturally flirty personality

・❥・gets dragged to parties by shuri but ends up having more fun than she does

・❥・picky eater

・❥・dancer. you cannot pull her off the dance floor

・❥・cannot speak xhosa to save her life...shuri makes fun of her a lot

・❥・gets angry easily, so she's been in her fair share of fights. she has yet to lose one

・❥・basketball player, her step dad taught her how to hoop

・❥・smokes 🍃 occasionally

・❥・favorite anime is soul eater

・❥・guilty pleasure: musicals. and shuri is the only one who knows this because she walked in on her singing "In The Heights". (she made shuri swear to secrecy)

・❥・loves skating

・❥・she switches up her style often, most times you'll just see her in a shirt and sweats. but she doesn't mind putting on a cute skirt or dress every now and then

romantic

・❥・if you like her, good luck. there's a line a mile long.

・❥・very cocky, she knows shes the shit.

・❥・drooler and snorer.

・❥・her love languages are words of affirmation and quality time, so she always has to let you know how good you look, or how smart you are, or how much she enjoys being around you. your date nights mostly consist of cuddling under each other and watching movies

・❥・drags you to the skating rink at least once a week

・❥・posts you all over her social medias. like constantly. when you ask her why she usually responds with something along the lines of, "i just want the world to see how fine you are."

・❥・wild sleeper, she usually ends up kicking you off the bed

・❥・she plays with your hair a lot

・❥・loves lego sets and puzzles and begs you to do them with her and shuri (you always say yes)

・❥・loves PDA, will literally kiss you anywhere, any time

・❥・rambles about you to shuri constantly

・❥・always bringing you something she made for you in her metallurgy class. you appreciate them but you're running out of room because of the amount she gives you

・❥・since she's in the garage most of the time, you end up having to drag her out

・❥・very oblivious with signals, if you try to drop hints she will not pick them up

・❥・scratcher.

・❥・debates everything, resulting in a few arguments. but she always ends up apologizing in the end. in certain ways 🤭

・❥・very possessive. she intentionally leaves hickeys on you. you don't mind though

thanks again for reading! yes i wrote this because im procrastinating on the shuri fic...mind your business. leave your headcanons guys :3

[owlish-owlhouse]

Am I allowed to request a yandere Belos with a human(or half witch whatever one you wanna do) reader who’s insanely stubborn and has possibly seen Home Alone a few too many times? I’m just really curious on how he’d react to such shenanigans and I love your writing so much❤️ keep up the amazing work even if you don’t do this scenario!

Since the movie is Home Alone and the Home Alone movies feature a kid/teen I'm gonna make this a platonic yandere with a teen reader

~~~

You had stumbled into the Isles due to a freak accident. During the Petrification day ceremony where Belos lost everything.

As he held the door in victory for mere moments not realizing the human had covered it in Glyphs, the door... it exploded in his hands. But not before something most peculiar happened. When it burned, the door was half open half closed. And through the chaos you were somehow pulled into this world. As smoke filled the room he watched you stand confused, sucked inbetween the world's and delivered here.

It couldn't be anything other than fate.

Belos was going to kill you but he hesitated, especially when he saw the Collectors shadow from the corner of his eye. Because here you were despite all odds. A human pushed through a door and picked for glorious unknown purposes by a deity who knew all. Just like him.

You were afraid of the situation you were in. Of the magic that surrounded you. He had been as well. Despite your dazed state he decided it be best to approach you. A folly on his part.

So he didn't blame you. Not when you wouldn't take his outstretched hand. And not when you ran from him and his guards scrambling like a rabid animal. He too had been frantic when he appeared in this wild land all those years ago running after his brother. His image had changed and warped becoming almost as demonic as those he claimed to hate but rest assured he was still human under his golden guise as their Emperor. As human as you he would save you from this place. He wouldn't let another mortal soul be destroyed.

"You needn't be afraid." He stated calmly as he tapped his staff against the ground, blue eyes searching the hallways as he wandered around the castle. You had hidden yourself quit well but since Eda the Owl Lady had escaped and her sister had become a traitor he couldn't leave anymore loose ends. He needed to find you and he needed to keep you away from the other human Luz. He needed time alone with you to convince you and if that failed he'd save you regardless. Hearing something from a nearby hallway he tilts his head before gliding forwards, boots quiet against the stone as he crept forward.

A bucket of paint and feathers come flying at him. Slamming his staff down he's able to create a barrier between him and the offending objects before he sees you run off dropping a large bag containing feathers. He was impressed at your creative nature. Your craftsmanship was crude but you had been rushed in making the homemade catapult. Paint from the supply closet you'd been hiding in as well as rubber bands and brooms met his gaze, the scattered feathers across the floor making him chuckle. Grazing his fingers over the catapult once again it launches. What a curious contraption. You were more alike than he thought.

"I'm impressed you know." He states genuinley before he begins his search anew. Their shoes bounce against the floor and he has no doubt that they'll tire themselves out soon, the steps already sounding slower. Stopping as nails and marbles litter the floor Infront of him he hums. If he had run down this hallway as he's sure several scouts would've done he could have been severely hurt. Stepping calmly using his boot to kick away the marbles and clear a path he continues to search for you. "I will not hurt you." He promises as he continues to walk forwards through your inventive trap. "I wish only to send you home, this world is no place for a human. Believe me I'd know." He hums scanning the hallway behind his cracked mask.

You do not respond and he sighs wishing you'd listen to reason. Though he understood, once you were alone together and the mask was off he's sure you'd listen to reason. Until then the chase was curious to him. He liked it.

"I know my appearance is off-putting but you have my word. No harm shall come to you in my care." There's still no response and he hums wishing he didn't have to do this, you did seem so smart. So useful. Holding up his staff ready to slam it down to force you out of your hiding place unsure if you'd be hurt in the process or not, you suddenly run around the corner and come barreling into him. He looks up to see several scouts looking angry and as you go to pull away and run again his hand latches onto your shoulder. You look up terrified and he tilts his head before an amused smile settles behind his mask.

"Found you." He states.

[casdeans-pie]

Fanfiction Q&A

Tagged by @thepagemistress thanks so much for the tag!! I love stuff like this asdfghjkl

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

311,091

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Supernatural because it's my most recent fandom and I have extreme destiel related brainworms - but I do also still write Izuocha/My Hero Academia stories from time to time. I've officially 'left the fandom' but I find the ship cosy to write, so they're easy to come back to every so often. I would really like to get back into writing for Genshin too at some point! There are so many characters and their personalities are all so barely defined that it's a lot of fun to shake the grab bag of them and play around with ships and tropes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ahh they're all MHA. I wrote them at kind of the emergence of the MHA fic scene though. So it was just good timing. It's crazy that they've remained my most popular fics even this many years later wow.

Also fun fact, the two ships here had fandoms that actively hated each other because Ochako is in both of them. I was living my best multi shipping life.

Also also, the jump in number between #1 and #2 is wild. BBB is a fandom experience I will treasure forever.

#1 Beep Beep Beep - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 2,245

#2 Saw This. Thought of You - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 787

#3 Ceiling Scorch Marks - Kacchako / My Hero Academia - 675

#4 Green's Your Colour - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 582

#5 Sweaty Palms - Kacchako / My Hero Academia - 544

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Heck yeah!! It may take me anywhere between a day and a month, but I will always reply at some point. I like to repay the kindness of leaving a comment with acknowledgement <3 even if all I can manage back is a keyboard smash and a thank you

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, easily easily Don't Stop Dreaming (Izuocha/MHA) I cackle like a classic disney villain every time someone leaves a comment about how they didn't notice the main character death tag and the ending broke them. Did I put it in the middle of the tags simply to make missing it easier? maybe so.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Okay this one is hard. Because 99% of my fics are fluff. They pretty much all have a happy ending lmaoooo

The cheesiest happy ending might have to go to Cat Thief (Reddie/IT) though - that whole fic I tried to capture the vibe of a cheesy Hallmark movie and then for the ending I really dialled it up to ten. Cavity inducing honestly aaa

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think so??? I've had the odd piece of criticism here and there, which makes me like >:( because I didn't ask for crit and I'm doing all this for freeeee

But otherwise, nope <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not anything I've ever published (because it's not very good asdfghjkl) It's honestly very vanilla and mostly about the ooey gooey feelings more than the smut itself, so I don't know whether it would really appeal?

Either way any smut I ever decide to post on AO3 would have to be anonymously. Too many people I know in real life know my Izupie username and just the thought of one of them googling me one day and finding my AO3 is bad enough even without any smut fics being on there RIP

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Hmm, not really crossovers? I write AU's of other worlds - like, I wouldn't write the cast of IT meeting the characters of Soul Eater, but I wrote the characters of IT in the world of Soul Eater. Does that make sense??

Two birds with stone because Dances of the Souls (Reddie/IT/Soul Eater) is also the craziest 'crossover' I've ever written. I saw some fanart and got inspired, and to this day I can't believe I wrote like 10k words of that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did !! Many manyyy years ago. Someone sent me a message to say that they'd noticed somebody had reposted one of my fics but just changed the characters. Can't even remember what fandom they'd made it for.... They'd stolen a whole bunch of Izuocha fics and just changed the names! So a few affected Izuocha writers including myself sent them messages asking them to take the stolen fics down and within a few hours their whole profile had been deleted.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No!! But I would LOVE that !! Anyone who ever wants to translate any of my fics, please know the answer will be yes!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm the process of that actually with Seal My Heart (Izuocha/MHA)!! It's been such a fun process but I feel so bad because I'm really bad at procrastinating and getting distracted by working on multiple things at once and I don't have a whole lot of free time, so I am probably the worst collab partner you could have!!! (sorry!!!!)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I usually change this answer based on my current fandom tbh! Right now I can't imagine any ship affecting my brain in quite the same way as Destiel.

I think it's the ALMOST of it that has given me infinite brainworms and hurts my soul. And they have just the most delicious dynamic. They're best friends. They're fighting. They're soft. They're gonna burn the whole world for each other. They're wearing silly cowboy hats. etc etc

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I wish I had it in me to write part 2 of Barks (Reddie/IT). I had this whole extra plot with all these conspiracies and saving the town and ultimately wanted to end it with Eddie getting turned into a werewolf too, but it had already gone on to nearly 100k words and I just wanted to write other things asdfkl

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm.... I would say maybe the way that I create a mood? I like to really appeal to all the senses when I write to kind of make you feel like you're there in the scene. Changing my writing style to add to the atmosphere is also something I think I do quite well? Like short choppy sentences for tension etc etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Dialogue all day. If everyone could just, not speak? That would be great. I really struggle to capture characters specific voices.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.

I can't say I've ever given it much thought... I think it would be okay as long as you're VERY sure that it's correct.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ahh that would be my Yu-Gi-Oh self insert fanfiction all hand written in a little notebook that I wrote as a child :') I wrote me and a friend into so many adventures with the Yu-Gi-Oh characters. It's extremely cute.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Beep Beep Beep without a doubt. I had so so so much fun with it. I have a whole notebook filled with plans and notes about each character (even the ones that appear for small scenes or are only mentioned!) and I just had a blast the whole time coming up with what cameos I could insert and little references I could scatter around. I had backstories planned out that didn't even make it into the fic but helped inform how this universe had changed the characters from their canon counterparts.

Updating it and having people anticipating the updates was such a buzz I can't even explain. I would get messages about it, some very kind artists drew fanart of it! The whole experience was all I had ever wanted as a fanfic writer. I loved every moment.

On a more recent note - I haven't written anything as self indulgent as Flicker, Fizzle, Pop (Destiel/Supernatural) for a long long time and I LOVE that for me. I had soooo much fun! And I was so excited to update it because I had so many people excited to read it! Very very fond of this fic <3

Phew that went on for longer than I expected - turns out I can ramble about my own writing for a long time, who knew right???? asdfghjkl;

Tagging some writers! @encyclopika @amynchan @citrinediamondeyes @velvethopewrites @loserchildhotpants @king4aday @fivefeetfangirl @jemariel @microsuedemouse No pressure though! (I'm just curious about your answers hehehe) But also if you see this and you're not tagged and wanna do it anyway - do eeeeet!!

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Sweet Amber, How are you doing? I know its Curtis and Honey week going on and I might sound selfish and I'm sorry for that but I really want to know how does halloween look like for Alpha Steve and LO?

What do they do in spooky season? I have a feeling LO craves for pumpkin latte and pumpkin pie. and Steve would bake her some pumpkin cupcakes from the scratch.

Ahhh, yes it might be Curtis and Honey month, just because they are domestic bliss and Honey LOVES fall even if Curtis isn't as fond of it. Lol.

BUT I am always open for talking about Alpha Steve and Little One as long as you guys all want to hear about those two! I love them heart and soul. They will always live with me.

I was just saying last night about how I can picture Steve making the woods around the lake into a pumpkin walk for the pack, but mostly for his Little One because he just knows she will love it.

They would play with each other, chasing one another through the forest while the Jack o Lanterns were all lit up.

I did write this little image back in 2020 (Omg how have I been on here working on Alpha Steve and Little One for so long?)

But Steve would go all out for Halloween, because his Little One was denied it for so long that all holidays are gonna be big and special for them. Both in private and with the rest of their pack.

All the wild bonfire dances, dressing up and trick or treating with the kids in the nearby town, at home Little One and Steve make all the fall themed desserts and drinks till they are unable to have anymore. Then they share with everyone. Sara will just randomly come over and raid Little Ones cookie jar.

Scary movie marathons, pumpkin carving contests and telling each other spooky stories in the nest. On Halloween night Little One can be found standing on the back deck, admiring the moon and claiming she can feel the magic of the night while Steve is hugging her from behind, rumbling he will keep her safe while kissing and nuzzling her.

Halloween becomes a time of playfulness for the wolves, hunting one another in the bond and while shifted through the autumn forest- darting through colorful piles of leaves and snapping at them while they are floating down to the forest floor. The harvest moons are so bright that all through the night the wolves sing their songs, making the night a little more wild feeling.

But let's get in our soft Alpha Steve and Little One feels-

Steve thought of himself as a decent cook. He could make a mean breakfast on the stovetop, whip together a meal on the grill, and in times of necessity from his howling commando days, he could make something on the fire that could feet a whole troop.

But baking wasn't exactly his area of expertise. But when you rolled over to him in the nest, nuzzling up against him with that sleepy satisfaction that you went into at times, usually after the two of them had completely wrecked each other, you muttered something about craving some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, like the ones in town.

That bakery was closed, but Steve was a determined wolf and with the encouragement of the Alpha and the Little Wolf, he scooped you up, making you giggle while wrapping your bare thighs around his waist and arms around his neck, nuzzling in against his neck and nibbling with touches of your tongue rasping along the column of his neck. "What are you doing Alpha?"

"You're gonna teach me to make you those muffins." He informed you while perching you onto the edge of a counter, biting your shoulder playfully before reaching for your mouth, kissing you enough to make you whimper when he pulled away.

"You gonna cook for me naked?" You teased as he pulled away and Steve rolled a shoulder while opening up the pantry. His muscled back and tight ass making you tilt your head and bite your lip.

"Snack and a Show Little One. Tell me what we need."

So you did, listing off ingredients and going step by step, watching as Steve was meticulous in following your instructions. All while you taste sampled whenever he held up the spoon to double-check the taste, teasing one another with little playful quips or quick little touches that made Steve constantly growl at you while he was trying to concentrate.

Never serious though, cause he would sneak you looks with encouragement for you to continue. In your bond the Alpha and Little One chased at each other, disappearing from each of your consciousness from time to time.

You just let your lips wrap around Steve's thick calloused fingertip, sucking off the pumpkin muffin batter while humming. His eyes flashed dangerously glowing blue at you. "Mmhh, more spice." You leaned over towards the jars of spices lined up nearby and plucked one up, popping it open and inhaling. "Mmhh, yup, needs more this."

Steve sniffed at it, his nose curling at the strong spiced scent. "You sure? I already added lots of this."

"Oh I'm sure." You plucked the bottle from him and gave a generous shake. "And now, the second best part. Besides the pumpkin."

"Ahhh, the chocolate." Steve dangled an open bag in front of you, allowing you to shove your hand in and grab some of the rich morsels of chocolate.

"The chocolate. Dump them all in Steve!" You held a frozen chip out to him, and he opened his mouth for you to pop it in for him while he did as you requested.

Finally, Steve was very carefully placing the muffin tin into the oven and pushing aside the dirty dishes away from you, he stepped into your embrace, your legs wrapping around his waist again and your hands sweeping up his hairy muscled chest while you stared at him with hooded eyes.

"You know the way to your mate's heart, chocolate chip pumpkin muffins. I should thank you."

You felt his hands sweep along your back and lay claim to the globes of your ass, pulling your center into himmmm. "How you wanna do that Little One?" He rumbled and you started placing kisses along his collarbone.

Chirping out "I got 25 minutes, I got some ideas." You pushed at his chest to push him back and hopped off the counter, twisting to lay your upper half against the cool counter while your ass pushed out for Steve.

The rumble of approval behind you made you grin. "24 now Steve."

[slaygentford]

I listened to every Beatles album in order so you dont have to and kept this record as I did. no one asked me to do this and honestly idk how I arrived at it it just sounded interesting after I exhausted the platters who I didnt think to record like this. also im at the point of school where you dont get homework anymore and I miss it so I made a report.

these are graded on a curve, that is, the ratings of each album are calculated in relation to the other albums. prior to this endeavor I had only heard the big beatles songs like in movies and on Wii rockband.

please please me: 3/5. highlight: twist and shout (sorry). lowlight: baby its you. thready ass vocals. leave it to people with talent with the beatles: 3/5. aesthetically identical to prev. highlight: you really got a hold on me. lowlight: please mr postman. why the fuck would you cover this. youre signing up to fail a hard day's night: 2/5. highlight: things we said today. lowlight: sadly, a hard day's night beatles for sale: im gonna keep it real. this sounds identical to albums 1-3 to me and I feel exactly no emotion about it at all. largely inoffensive. 2/5 help!: 3.3/5. highlight: help! killer bass. lowlight: the riff in I need you fills me with a burning, indescribable rage rubber soul: here we begin to experience the epic highs and lows of The Beatles discography. high highs: Norwegian wood and girl. low lows: literally everything else. 2/5 revolver: 3.5/5. these bitches finally woke up! highlight: I'm only sleeping, for no one, Eleanor Rigby is worth the hype, I want to tell you, tomorrow never knows. lowlight: dr robert -- flop attempt at satire. also whatever that one guy was doing to that poor sitar sgt pepper's: I came to a rude awakening when I realized that the wall would not exist without sgt pepper's. humbling. that being said, 0/5. I hated every single second of this. magical mystery tour: epic high following last album's epic low. 5/5. strawberry fields has a BASS DROP??!?!? no skips. I love this album. its such a time capsule as well of like one of the weirdest years in history. i can listen to this album and experience how my parents felt at 16. the callback to she loves you on the last track. I get it the white album: I dont get it. this album tested me like nothing else. I began to flag. I began to question the honor of my quest. I almost shut it off after nearly every song. but let me say: the highs are sweeping. SWEEPING. happiness is a warm gun. blackbird, Helter Skelter, while my guitar gently weeps, back in the ussr, revolution (which is satire which I just realized)... however, the lows are LOW. glass onion is bad; Julia is actually unlistenable (I broke and skipped it); wild honey pie is like getting a transorbital lobotomy; birthday has undone years of my therapist's work vis a vis suicidal ideation. Im so baffled by this I almost want to exclude it entirely. instead I calculated its good song to bad song ratio which landed the album as a whole at a solid D+ (69%)! but that seems like its ignoring the good songs which for any other band even ONE of those would be the song of their career. emotionally the experience was not unlike a bipolar mixed episode. 1/5 yellow submarine: this one was a movie soundtrack. something it has going for it is that it isn't the white album. 4/5 abbey road: yeah. 10/5. I cant even be flippant about this. you live a whole lifetime listening to this one. fine. let it be: set myself up to FAIL with this one. my dad was about to turn 18 the year this came out, which I only bring up because this is the only one of my dads beatles albums I kept. so of course I listened to the record and cried through let it be like a bitch. I like all the studio talking noise. 5/5 for sentimentality

rating overall: 43.8/65, about 66%. but I dont vibe w that honestly. I had a great time doing this and discovered some great music. I also cant ignore their historical significance and the insight it gave me into my parents' youth, which is probably the most interesting thing about the beatles. I choose to recuse myself from assigning a grade and instead, on a pass/fail scale, pass them.

reflection: they were so prolific in 10 years with wildly varying results, but it makes me feel like we need to all create more haphazardly and throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks instead of being so precious about it. because honestly, a monkey at a typewriter with that kind of output WILL eventually write something good. I also think it's the kill baby Mussolini principle in that even if you killed baby Mussolini there would still be the sociopolitical situation which gave rise to Mussolini. so if The Beatles never formed there would've been other band/s who evolved with the upheaval of the 60s who would now serve as this cultural touchstone. but this is what we got and thats quite interesting I think.

takeaway: I cant listen to another beatles song for at least 2 calendar years

[mha-quotes-and-such]

Hey!

Hope you don't mind getting it a whole month late. Life's been crazy but I really wanted to make it:

It's LoV's Christmas Night!

Kurogiri absolutely went all the way with the decoration. Lights everywhere, garlands, a huge tree he warped directly from the forest (he planted a sapling there, obviously. He's a villain, not a monster). And, if someone there celebrates something other than Christmas, you bet it'll show in the decoration too!

He raised Shigaraki with a strong emphasis on Christmas, so now that the family is bigger, the party must be too!

He and Compress help each other in the kitchen. Toga and Twice were banned from cooking for playing with knives, Dabi for burning the kitchen down at least once and Shigaraki for decaying one too many pans when he got annoyed (mostly by Dabi. Totally intended if you ask me)

Magne decides to make the desserts though. And Spinner helps out cutting the vegetables for a solid five minutes before Toga sprints after him to "give her the knife! She can do it herself better anyway!"

It's the only day in the whole year that Dabi will be amenable. You may even catch him smiling if you look quick enough. And he will only tease Shigaraki about twice in the day. It may not even end up in a fight!

Seriously, he missed Christmas in family. And, even if he'll never ever ever say it aloud, he likes having a family that embraces him for what he is. Burned skin and arsonist tendencies included.

(He WILL however pick up discussions left and right the very next morning. It won't be Christmas anymore... and he has a reputation to keep)

That's also the day Shigaraki is less inclined to give in to provocation, if nothing else because Santa will be mad. And he wants his present!

Toga firmly agrees with him and so does Twice. No one else dares to say otherwise, sure, Santa comes every year to give presents to villains because they managed not to kill each other for a day. That's totally what happens.

(If you even think about breaking it to them that's not Santa, Kurogiri will glare directly into your soul and shake his head)

Everybody helps hanging the decoration in the tree! Toga hangs way more knives than the average person, but it's a big tree, there's plenty of space. Dabi rolls his eyes and pretends to be annoyed, but he WILL throw hands if you touch anything he hang, because they were in the perfect spot and the perfect angle and how could you?!

Mr. Compress keeps all presents into tiny balls inside his pocket because he knows at least one of the rascals (usually Toga, but it might be anyone really. Even Magne isn't above it) will try to open them early and sneak a peek.

It doesn't mean they won't try! Just means it's harder. Getting them out of Compress's pocket becomes a Christmas challenge and they may even team up and come up with wild plans.

Supper is absolutely delicious and they watch The Nightmare Before Christmas every single time. It's tradition at this point. They will bicker later about the next movie to watch, but Jack Skellington is always the first one! How not to love it?

When it finally is time to open the presents (because there's no way they will steal them earlier from a professional thief and magician's pocket), they all sit on a circle on the floor. Toga's gifts to everyone are usually pretty sharp and may or may not involve blood. Twice just bought everyone a different plushie and, you know what, he absolutely nailed it. Shigaraki bought some trinkets, like CDs from a band he knows the others like or some jewelry. And even Dani chose some thoughtful gifts (but you better not to mention it)

They leave cookies and milk for Santa (if nothing else, because it makes Toga, Twice and Shigaraki happy) and the next morning there is a new present under the tree for each of them "from Santa" (and totally not Kurogiri)

It's a nice day.

This is so cute! I love the idea of such an odd bunch having a stereotypical big chaotic Christmas with all the kids running around and decorations everywhere, they deserve it! And especially the idea of stealing presents becoming a game! I imagine that would get really crazy super fast

[cupids-chronicles]

Hades X Persephone Saga: A Game of Fate #1.5

Please note that this is not a sequel to "A Touch of Darkness", but rather a retelling from Hades' perspective. This means that you do not need to read this book to read the rest of the series.

Author: Scarlett St. Clair

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Mythology

My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐/5.

Spice: 🌶🌶🌶🌶

Goodreads rating: 4.1/5

Pages: ‎‎416

Published: 12 September 2020

A Game of Fate Review

Note: This book is intended for mature audiences over the age of 18 due to explicit content (steamy chapters).

Ah, the Fates. They're like that meddling aunt who sets you up on blind dates without your consent. One day you’re chilling in the Underworld, doing your dark and brooding godly things, and the next, boom, you're hitched to a feisty journalist called Persephone. This is the premise of A Game of Fate, the second installment of the Hades Saga.

First, let’s set something straight: when I first heard there was a Hades POV, I imagined something dark, brooding, and mysterious. Instead, I got a modern twist that was somewhere between "The Devil Wears Prada" and Greek mythology speed-dating. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Expectation vs Reality: Scarlett St. Clair, you sly minx, you played with my emotions. I was waiting for depth, for a change in the narrative, but alas, it was like watching your favorite movie with director’s commentary. Interesting, sure, but not quite the new experience you were hoping for. If you’ve read A Touch of Darkness, this is essentially the 4K ultra-HD rerun from Hades' perspective. Although I know that it was the whole point of the book to just read Hades' perspective of "A Touch of Darkness", sometimes it just felt a little too dejavu-ee to me.

Now, let's talk about the continuity issues. You remember that scene where Hades is chilling in his throne room, banishing Minthe, and suddenly needs to "teleport" to the Underworld? Wait… isn’t he already there? I’ve got to say, I spent an unreasonable amount of time trying to figure out if I missed a location change or if Hades was just being extra dramatic. Either way, it made me chuckle.

However, for the fans of the previous book, A Touch of Darkness, there's a lot to like here. The scenes with Hades showcasing his soft side — whether it’s confronting Demeter, comforting a battered soul, or bantering with his hooved companions — is just the right amount of sweet and somber. My personal favorites include Hades telling Minthe it was never her (Ouch! Burn!) and, of course, him making cookies. Because what's more divine than a god in an apron, right?

The world-building is commendable. We’re shown an Underworld with its own culture, quirks, and horse chats. And as for our dark and brooding protagonist, there's considerable growth in Hades. It’s quite something to watch him evolve from a stoic, perhaps misunderstood ruler to someone more human, all thanks to love and… journalism?

A stand-out quote for me: "Take her, and I will destroy this world. Take her, and I will destroy you. Take her, and I will end us all." It encapsulates the depth of Hades' passion and the lengths he's willing to go for love. Bravo!

As for the spice? Oh boy. Let's just say, if this book was a salsa, it'd be the one that leaves you reaching for a jug of water (or perhaps a fan? Oops, I promise no more cringy jokes!).

To wrap up, while A Game of Fate did serve some déjà vu vibes, it didn't stop me from enjoying the journey, even with a few giggles. You'll love it if you’re seeking a unique take on Greek gods and their soap-opera-worthy drama. I’d rate it a generous three stars. But remember, approach with caution and perhaps a pinch of humor. Because when a god starts baking, you know you're in for a wild ride.

Please note that this book is part of a series and can not be read as a stand alone. Lucky for you this can be your little weekend binge as almost all the books in the series has already been released !

Wait a minute boys and girls, check out these trigger warnings first:

Murder.

Sexual abuse (mentioned)

Torture

Harsh Language

Romance Tropes, you ask ?

Enemies to lovers

Fated Mates

Who do we meet in this book ?

Hades

Persephone (Perri)

What to read next:

Neon Gods (Dark Olympus) by Katee Robert.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black.

Drag Me Up (Gods of Hunger) by R.M. Virtues.

Or just like read the next few books of this series.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

So I don't know if there is a correct way to use the public library but this is how I do.

Show up.

This was gonna be a bulletin list but that was too good to pass up. But yeah. Show up. Regularly. Irregularly. Intermittently. Occasionally. Doesn't matter. I'm there once every other month or so and I use the book drop on the days they're closed because I can never remember the schedule which is easily findable just about everywhere one would think to look.

Prowl through whatever attractions stand the have set up. Sometimes its staff picks or banned books or seasonal themes. Whatever. Today I found a trans teen survival guide displayed front and center next to the preparation of field game manuals. Made my queer heart happy in this very conservative town. The librarians put thought into these and its nice to acknowledge the effort.

My library has a new books section just past that where they shelve the new releases. Its fun to browse through there but unless something really piques the interests or I'm looking for specifics i usually don't linger because I'm on to the

Non Fiction

But I wanna read fun stories, you say and I say to you there is wild shit hitherto undreamt of in the non fiction section. No really. Today I leafed through a wild mushroom hunting guide and saw the tidiest unintentional horror story I've ever seen. I did not check it out because eating weird unidentified things found in the woods is how one gets very dead in suspicious circumstances. But it was super interesting. Also found an entire section on the science of comedy. As in, the art of a good joke, stand up routine, slapstick stunts, funny movies, the psychology of the whole industry. A section. Multiple shelves.

Audiobooks exist.

They feel like sandpaper on my brain but are good for some people so you do you. Just don't make me listen. For both our sakes. There's a whole wing of the building dedicated to them. Have fun. Without me. Over there.

There's also a huge graphic novel section which I personally have not managed to explore yet. But I will at some point get around to it.

And on to the fiction section

I know the librarians have had a LOT of down time recently because the books are organized by authors last name and then some gracious soul went through and COLOR CODED BY GENRE! Thus far there are 4, mystery, fantasy, action and romance. Its the most wonderful thing I have ever encountered in a public library.

Usually I end up leaving with a couple of mystery novels or fantasy, the fun stuff, one classic that I've heard referenced but haven't read, its my vegetable book one thats good for the brain or at least the ego, and one book that has a cool cover, personally I'm partial to the old school canvas covers with no dust jackets.

If I can't read that many books before I have to return them, oh well, I can check them out again. If its a miserable slog, I don't need to finish them, the librarians don't know or care that you couldn't finish. If anything you've learned the valuable lesson that that particular author does not appeal to you, and you don't need to finish his book to know that Jack Kerouac was one of Those Guys(tm). Also if you check out a book, read it, don't read it, don't finish it, whatever, as long as you check it out, its a book in circulation and that's the only thing the library tracks. The more use they get, the more funding they get, so don't worry about an incomplete reading list.

DID I MENTION IT'S FREE?

All of it is free! No charge! This includes the bathrooms, the computer use, the sound booth, the meeting rooms, the auditorium, the wifi, the children's activities, the reference desk, senior computer help classes, the tax prep help, and the interlibrary loans if your library doesn't have something that another library does. All of it. You can get a library card for free.

I also picked up a voter information pamphlet on my way out and I'll be voting for whomever values and funds the library.

[safesthavenoutsideofexistence]

Man it’s so effortless choosing myself. Holy shit everything is rigged in my favor. I never stress for I’m naturally guided to the right path. I laugh at what could be my stress. Laika and I profoundly dreams of each other each night. Laika and I only have sweet dreams of each other every night then wake up to each other in real life🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰✨✨✨✨✨ wild how I’m in a commercial Zendaya. My successes are UNHINGED! Damn my faith pays off. I’m a mf Zillionaire. (Chills). I’m sexy as fuck. I’m gorgeous as hell. Like thank God it’s that effortless all I gotta do is put my face over theirs and I take absolutely everything they have I desire and discard the rest. I relentlessly slam them with merciless uno plus an antonellamania number of cards. I hit them with everything they’ve never seen before. I control what I control and trust Magic with the rest for it knows what to do to put me at ease. My face is perfect as it is. So fascinating seeing my manifestation unfold. Like so fucking tangible. This shit is staggeringly insane. The truth of the Universe is staggeringly insane. Insanity=MAGIC. My life’s more animated than all Disney animations that has ever existed combined. It’s in my favor to brag about life with ease. It’s in my favor to brag about getting things with ease because struggle does not touch me. My life’s so unbelievably charmed. My life only gets more and more infinitely charmed. My life only gets more and more infinitely luckier. My life only gets more and more infinitely fortunate. My life only gets more and more infinitely romantic. My life only gets more and more infinitely safer. My life only gets more and more infinitely high vibrational. My life only gets more and more infinitely fantastical. My life only gets more and more infinitely Magical. My life only gets more and more infinitely whimsical. My life only gets more and more infinitely dreamlike. Insanity is magic. Insanity is magic. Insanity is magic. “Insanity isn’t harmless. Insanity isn’t going to give you diseases. It’s actually a very valid thing as all geniuses are known to have “mental illnesses” which linked to their intelligence so basically insanity. But we need to realize mental illness is an illusion for we are Magic. You have to lose your mind to gain your soul. I started seeing life as Magic when I realized I was never losing my mind. I was only gaining my soul.” Wow ima use this in my Tedtalk one day wow. Damn I really got rhe worlds number one most viewed Tedtalk. Like it’s so tangible I’m cri. My Magic only gets more and more infinitely tangible and palpable. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I change their mind about mental health in a staggeringly powerful way which satisfies my soul. I touch on topics that makes them feel profoundly seen. I touch on topics that leaves them astonished. The Magic is boundless magic. I wipe out all doubts. It’s okay for me to use the word insane for I naturally remove all negative connotations with it. I only get more and more infinitely reassured and assured. I only get infinitely more and more assurances. I stopped calling it unhinged when really they’re just limitless beliefs. Yeah I believe in magic. I’m a Tiger. Left and right I got spiritual protection. Yeah Im so beautiful I humble the Devil(chills). Life only gets more and more infinitely rigged into my favor. Life only gets more and more infinitely disarming. I only get more and more infinitely trusting. For more trusting leads to more Magic. I’m naturally rigged to walk into my desired reality. Me visualizing is see into my vision. My life is my favorite tv show and movie. It’s insane actually knowing that ABSOLUTELY ANY OF MY MAGICAL IMAGINATION CAN COME TRUE. Like out of thin air. YESSSSSS I WANT TO BE THIS BLOWN AWAY. I WANT TO BE SO TERRIFYINGLY STAGGERINGLY BLOWN AWAY. It’s always coming fast. Sooner than I think. They siding with me. They agreeing with me. They’re staggered that what was meant to represent them but it’s actually energetically and tangibly loyal to me. I effortlessly take over their territory.

[fmhiphop]

Raising The Bar: Nas And Tobe Nwigwe Unleash TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS Music Video - "On My Soul"

Nas has cranked up the excitement to a whole new level by teaming up with Tobe Nwigwe and Jacob Banks for their fresh and lively jam called "On My Soul." On the splendid day of May 18, this electrifying track was unleashed via the remarkable Mass Appeal Records, a label co-founded by Nas himself in 2014. And on June 1, Houston rapper Tobe Nwigwe and Nas dropped the music video for "On My Soul,' featured in the epic TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS film. Right from the get-go of this soulful masterpiece, Tobe Nwigwe bursts onto the scene with his signature lightning-fast delivery, releasing a barrage of lyrical genius that will leave you mesmerized. Yet there is more to come! Can You Keep Up? The Challenge Of Tobe Nwigwe's Lightning-Fast Delivery As soon as those soulful beats hit, Nwigwe storms in with his trademark rapid-fire delivery, spitting out bars so scorching you'll reach for that rewind button, desperate to savor and unravel every word. It's as if he's a poetry machine gun, blasting out rhymes like bullets, leaving you in awe of his lyrical prowess. Can you keep up? Probably not, unless you've got a time machine! 'On my soul, everybody in the clique strapped, and they all on go Keep a stick, just like branch, papi, but I ain't a troll On my mama, can't nobody out here play me for no ho Guard your grill, guard your grill Ain't nobody out here hard to kill The gat I pack go, "Pap" and peel your cap from front to back.' Nas's Mechanical Flow With a booming chorus belted out by Jacob Banks, Nas kicks it up a notch. He launches into a lightning-fast verse of his own. And he stays true to the script, spitting lyrics that will have you scrunching your face in utter disbelief. How does he manage to keep up that level of intensity? It's like he's on a mission to blow our minds with every line. Are you ready to be blown away by the incredible brilliance? 'Don't slander all the banter Just one answer, I'm an animal I'm just one man, outstandin' though Part wolf, part king, part hannibal Example, proof, I'm built like I'm mechanical On the mic, I'm a cannibal You don't know who I'm family to You don't know my team, you don't know what my mans'll do Turn it up to the maximum, gorillas in the trap.' I had to turn down the volume because this heat almost burned my house down! I guess that means the gorillas got too hot and had to escape the trap! Watch the video below: The Battle For Earth Begins! TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS Brings Epic Action! TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS roared into action, ready to captivate moviegoers worldwide. But this time, the Autobots are embarking on a thrilling '90s globetrotting adventure that will have you asking, "Where to next?" But with the crazy-fast speeds of the Autobots, you'll be asking, "Where were we?!" We're introducing a brand-new crew of Transformers called the Maximals, joining forces with our beloved Autobots to defend planet Earth. This film was set to rock your world when it hit theaters on June 9, 2023, under the skilled direction of Steven Caple Jr. and starring Anthony Ramos and Dominique Fishback. With an all-star cast, action-packed special effects, and a story of heroic defense, the Maximals and the Autobots will ensure that this summer blockbuster is not one to miss! If you haven't seen the movie yet, get your tickets here. Who Is Tobe Nwigwe? Tobe Nwigwe is a true enigma! His music tells the story of his challenging upbringing in Alief, TX, but it also takes you on a wild journey through the hood. You know, the place where gang violence, drug deals, pimps, and prostitution are all too familiar. But here's the catch: Tobe's music is filled with undeniable authenticity that hits you right in the feels. And despite all the hardships he's faced, he remains a beacon of positivity and kindness. How does he do it? Well, Tobe's songs not only describe shootouts and the heartbreaking loss of childhood friends. They also emphasize the power of faith and the significance of having a purpose in life. It's like he's saying, "Hey, I've been through some tough stuff, but faith and purpose can help you overcome anything." Speaking of purpose, Tobe has a singular goal that drives him every day: to make purpose popular. This first-generation Nigerian kid from Alief had dreams of playing in the NFL, with a college football scholarship and all. But then, fate intervened and handed him a career-ending foot injury during his senior year. Ouch, right? It could have been the end of the road for many people, but not for Tobe. In the depths of his despair, he turned to his faith and discovered a new calling: to teach others how to "move with purpose." Changing Lives Beyond Music Even before Tobe picked up a pen and called himself a rapper, he made an impact. He started a nonprofit foundation called TEAM GINI and began speaking to rooms full of students, enlightening them about the incredible benefits of living a purpose-driven life. Tobe changed lives even before he knew he had the power to move people with his music. And wow, did he succeed! Through constant consistency and flawless execution, Tobe has attracted fans from all corners of the globe. We're talking about big names here, like Erykah Badu, Sway Calloway, and Dave Chappelle. How awesome is that? The next time you listen to Tobe Nwigwe's music, let it take you on a trip through the hood and remind you of the power of belief and purpose. And hey, if Tobe can overcome obstacles with grace and positivity, what's stopping you from doing the same? Written by Nikiya Biggs | LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram Follow and like FMHipHop on Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and Spotify! Read the full article

[antiracistkaren]

Wuthering Heights

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, I know. Things have been not great for a while, and I’m ever more aware and anxious about posting thoughts on the internet.

But the book has shook me to the core. I’m fortunate to have read it as an adult--and I’m kind of shocked that this is assigned reading for younger kids, as it exposes the intricacies and horror and anguish that can be love between two people.

I went to see the movie Emily in theaters when it came out, knowing virtually nothing about the Brönte sisters, and was struck when Emily was coded as autistic. I watched her so closely, and it was all there: social awkwardness, special interest, weird ways of being, always searching and always restless... and since I clocked this (although it wasn’t mentioned--as it never is in movies, only implied), I remembered my box set of Brönte sister books my (ex) father-in-law had bought me for Christmas.

Once I polished off Pride and Prejudice for the millionth time, I figured it was time to turn to another author before going through all of my Jane Austen set. Wuthering Heights was much less intimidating looking than Jane Eyer. 

I started reading the introduction, got impatient with spoilers, and skipped over to begin consuming the book. It took me a couple of days, and I found once I was deep into the book, it was difficult to put down. At first I was put off by this unreliable male narrator that we are introduced to, especially with his lack of social cue reading and haughty ego.

I never really liked or felt attraction to Heathcliff as a character, but I did feel attraction instead, to the core of the story. When I find a book like this, I have to read it more than once: once for structure and story (and even then, little details and lines lift out of the book, making me run for a highlighter, the poetry of the story hitting me hard), and the next time for detail, for art, for full consumption of a new favored book onto my actual soul.

People have written about this book over and over, but I couldn’t help but feel like the book was written by someone just like me. An out of place blight in the middle of a wild worldly scene, just trying to make a connection--any connection--with those who share the existence. The way the moors are discussed and described reminds me of the agonizing detail I used to take to describe my own home town. Places where others saw poverty and ugly, I saw safety and homage.

Cathy, as a character, is complicated ... I have been her. The mask that we put on in order to climb in the world is very real--her transformation from wild and beastly to charming and lilting is startling. And just like Cathy, there are attachments that I carry along with me whether the other person is willing or not. As though I’m the only one who could really know them fully because I knew them as a child. It is this toxic line of thinking though: that only we can fully know another, and that possessiveness over someone else’s story and life can lead us to do pretty awful things to each other in the name of for your own good.

--Spoilers ahead if you haven’t read the book, so proceed with caution--

When Cathy inevitably dies, both of her lovers ascribe it to the other, when in reality Cathy has made her own prison inside her mask, and it is the mask that kills her. How can she possibly expect Edgar to know her when she has not been fully herself? How can she expect Heathcliff to subjugate himself for the love crumbs that she leaves for him? Cathy gives no one all of herself, and in the end is torn apart by the two people she is trying to be at once, instead of reconciling herself to her actual true identity.

There’s a lot at play here, of course, especially when you consider the social constructs and concepts of the time. Of course Cathy had limited options--much more limited than women today. But at the same time, in fiction, the author can make a choice for her character. Emily chose to tear Cathy into pieces to demonstrate her own fractured existence.

Thankfully Emily was not so abject in her own life that she gives us a totally hopeless novel. Instead, once Heathcliff finally dies, we see a Cathy and Heaton finally together and happy--because they must be happy out of sheer spite of the moors, the bitter cold, and the abusive anger they both endured under the hand of a heart broken Heathcliff.

A man that loves me (or at least he claims to) loves this novel, and I am pretty sure it is because he fancies himself a Heathcliff and me a Cathy. That possessiveness he feels about understanding “the real me” is perfectly captured in Heathcliff’s assertions about Cathy (for every thought she gives to Edgar, she gives a thousand to me... He has planted an oak tree in a flower pot...). This limits Cathy, and it limits me. And ultimately, I’d like to remind him, that it is Heathcliff’s love that destroys Cathy. Heathcliff’s desire to cause and sow pain in return for unrequited love breaks Cathy’s spirit. Although he may claim to deeply love her, there is no proof aside from his claiming that he understands her spirit (even as he ensures that it is dimmed and squashed).

Is he a devil? No. He’s an arrogant man of the time who cannot reconcile the child he knew to the woman she grew into.

My opinions at this time are mushy and half-formed. I’m sure that I’ll be reading this book over and over to find new meaning. Ultimately, I read this book as a warning--a warning away from the kind of love that will destroy us with its intensity, with its demands and with its bonds. How much better is it to be free than to be shackled and held down by this kind of “love”?

That’s a no from me, dog. (But I adore this book at the same time... thank you Emily for giving it to us.)

[manikrege]

If you've ever been told you're a bit too much...

You will not see me admit to this very often.

But I intertwine with the plants that I water way too quickly & intensely.

And I keep pouring my heart out everyday.

Until one day I miss it because of work & it looks like I've stopped caring.

Or until one day I water too much & wilt you away.

I don't know why this happens. The over-loving. The over-caring. The attachment. The infinite giving and only giving but hesitating when I'm taking or asking for something I know I deserve.

The immediate trusting.

The seeing good in everyone.

The believing that people are usually not without an agenda when that's far from the case.

It hurts that this is kinda my mistake, a weakness I must learn to overcome.

It hurts that no matter how much I try to hide it, the water flows out eventually, and I lose myself in the devotion of my plants.

I try really hard to make everyone think that I can do just fine without a garden.

But anyone who's given me the privilege of nurturing them - of letting my hands become soiled in the mess of their flaws, so that I can gently nuzzle the tender roots of their soul, and make them see how I see them - they will tell you that I'm like taking in a long deep breath, one molecule too much.

I'm like taking in a long deep breath - comforting and relaxing at first but uneasy towards the end because of the weight it thrusts upon your lungs.

If you've been my friend, you will know that I love too fiercely. If you've been my boss or colleague, you will agree that I work like an absolute maniac.

That is just because I take pride in bringing my heart to every meal I have to make. I have no filters oh God. And no matter how much I try to hide my authenticity to protect myself, it eventually shines through because most people either couldn't bother less or they are more talented at protecting their true feelings.

In the process of opening up too much too fast, even after a million warnings & hard lessons on not to do so, I do end up cutting & bleeding myself on the very thing I'm trying to cook well.

I feel a thousand emotions when I'm with you & every time we're together they're so much that I just want to exist together. I like spending alone time with people, if that makes any sense. I mean I just like knowing and listening to them. I don't need to watch a movie or even have a two-way conversation to enjoy them. I have this habit of squeezing value out of every second we're together.

Small talk and pointless conversations or activities make me jittery. I would rather work in silence with you. Like the day I came over during work hours and we both spent the whole time on our own calls & assignments. The silence has never unsettled me because all that matters is me sharing the same space with my subjects.

Which is what scares me. It scares me that I told you not to think too hard about the future but part of me is already building it and you'll leave like everyone else. Not deliberately maybe but as a consequence of life happening.

Life happens. People get busy. People grow apart. We might settle in different countries, I know we both will. I also hope we'll still keep in touch after it. But the distance, I don't know. I'm scared I will miss you too much and I don't like being that vulnerable.

So.

So.

So.

So I am going to stop trying to water you.

What I mean is that I will stop trying to hold myself responsible for your happiness or your growth.

Wild plants in the jungle grow just fine through the seasons. When they get rain. When they get sunlight. When it's freezing cold.

Plants survive. People survive.

They don't need a gardener.

But what they need is space to grow in all directions. What they need is to be extended.

And so I will be your hummingbird. Sprinkling everything you teach me & make me feel in all directions. Taking the love we experience together as packets of pollen to grow a more beautiful world.

I will make my home in you but hold neither of us down because I know how much I love to fly and how much you love to stand tall.

I will go from tree to tree, plant to plant, and make a forest out of our garden. Telling everyone about you. And telling you about everyone.

I will let us travel whenever and wherever we need to, knowing that I will feel your love through the root of a root of a root, in some form or the other, because I like to believe that every soul is spread across the universe. And I will try to do what I asked you to do - to enjoy this moment we have as it is, as it exists.

See I, and you will not see me admit this often and so easily, I intertwine with the plants I water too quickly and intensely.

Because I have come to accept that it's not just them who need me, but me who needs the garden, too.

Loving is simply my breathing. Loving people gives me meaning. I find strength in service.

After all the mishaps, I've been trying so hard NOT to take that long deep breath I love. I've been trying to cautiously control how much I inhale and exhale.

But you showed me how much I actually missed caring for someone else. you taught me that healthy relationships aren't about the control of give & take. They're just about finding the right people where it won't matter.

Finding the people who would let you show love your way, and who you'd enjoy and respect as they love you in theirs.

So let me show you the thousand ways in which I do, and let me experience all of yours.