#because ive been staring at nothing but chemistry for about two weeks now and i am slowly losing my mind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sevmch · 3 years

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hq boys when you pepper them with kisses bc you're sad

characters: kenma, akaashi, kuroo

warning/s: none

genre: fluff, comfort

a/n: here's some fluff bc i think ive been writing too much angst lately aksjdkhskshs

kozume kenma

you were sitting next to kenma, staring at your boyfriend's face that had his game face plastered on his features in full concentration. you watched in silence as he played, cheek leaning against your palm.

this wasn't new, in fact, most of your time spent at his place were usually just you doing your own stuff while he played. you didn't really mind, wanting to just be around kenma and feel his presence.

he also loved having you near him, you knew that. but sometimes, especially when you're feeling down, it felt as if he didn't care a bit like right now. kenma cared a lot but he's no mind reader, so he doesn't exactly know you're upset because you failed one of your exams today.

but you really wanted to be close to him as some sort of comfort, so you moved away from the desk and lean towards kenma, resting your chin on his shoulders and catching him give you a side-eye.

"what're you doing?" he asked, focused on the screen again, fingers moving swiftly against the keyboards.

you shrugged, sighing deeply. "nothing."

"okay."

pouting at his lack of response, you placed a quick peck on his cheek. his brows jumped, the crease in his forehead disappearing for the first time tonight. you planted another one and another one and another one, soft and brief and lazy. kenma moved his face towards you when you stopped for a second due to the discomfort creeping up your neck from the position, your boyfriend whining at the sudden loss of contact.

now it's your brows that raised, not really expecting for him to ask more. he leaned closer, tilting his head a little sideways as a sign for you to keep going.

"why'd you stop?"

"my neck was starting to hurt, i thought i was bothering you though." you shifted in your seat to find a much comfortable position.

he frowned, glancing at you and quickly reaching for the neck pillow that sat on the far end of his desk.

"i love it when you do that," he said softly, pausing the game so he could put the pillow around your neck and cup your face gently. "you're never a bother to me."

"kenma," your lips trembled slightly when tears started gathering at your eyes, touched by his affection.

"i know you're not okay. i could tell since you got here. do you wanna get ice cream after and talk about it?"

you nodded, not saying a word because you were sure your voice would crack if you did and kenma knew that, ruffling your hair before turning back to his game.

"ice cream it is then," he said, pressing play. "i'll buy you two if you continue with the kisses."

giggling, you plant more soft kisses on his cheek, even massaging the back of his neck as you watched him play. later that night, he took you to your favorite ice cream parlor, listening attentively to everything you had to say.

akaashi keiji

you and akaashi haven't seen each other the past week due to both of your conflicting and hectic schedules. their practices were extended to later hours for the upcoming interhigh while you were busy with club activities. whenever you had free time, akaashi would be unavailable and vise versa.

you missed each other so much it hurts which was why the second you both had matching free time, it was spent on cuddling for hours on end. even when you were lying on top of akaashi, face hiding at the crook of his neck and feeling the rise and fall of his chest, you still craved for more.

thinking of having to separate and not see each other again for days made your heart sink into your stomach, nuzzling against his neck as if you could get even closer than you were already.

he ran his hand up and down your back in comfort, even giving a gentle squeeze on your arm to remind you he was physically there with you. you sighed deeply, landing feather-like kisses at his jaw.

"missed you."

"i know," akaashi said barely above a whisper, relaxing into the feeling of your soft lips on his skin. "i missed you too, love."

as you kept going with your ministrations, your eyes were wide in surprise when akaashi stopped you, leaning away just to turn to his side and face you. placing a hand at the back of your neck, you felt his lips on your forehead. then, you felt them next on the space between your brows, then at the tip of your nose, then at your chin.

stopping by your lips, he hovered, staring at you lovingly through half lidded eyes. blood rushed to your cheeks, heating up at the way he was gazing at you. slowly, akaashi captured your lips in his, pulling you forward by his hand on your nape as he moved his lips passionately you're glad you were laying down otherwise your knees would've gave out. it was sweet and short, slipping pecks in between before moving back a little.

"don't be so sad anymore, hm? i'm here now." he said, caressing your cheek with his thumb. the corner of your lips tug upward in a smile, releasing a contented sigh as you stared at each other for a little while.

kuroo tetsuro

he was in a middle of a phone call with yaku discussing about their chemistry homework and spitting out chemical names that were alien to you. it has been going of nearly an hour and a half and you were starting to get impatient, wanting to get back to the movie currenly paused at the screen before yaku called.

saturday nights were movie nights and it was an agreement that either of you must be free from distractions - no phone notifications, mentions of school works, and the like. unless it was an emergency. yaku calling wasn't an emergency, in fact, it was just to argue with kuroo that his answers were right and your boyfriend's were wrong.

and you wouldn't mind it if it were any other day but not today. not after movie nights have been pushed back twice in a row because kuroo has been too exhausted from training to even stay awake at 9 pm.

scooting closer to him on the couch, you locked him in place by putting your arms around his neck and resting your legs on his lap. used to your clinginess, he doesn't react - kept his mind on throwing insults at yaku.

so you proceed with your plan in mind. you weren't exactly placing kisses, just letting your lips graze the corner of his mouth to tease, knowing that it riled him up when you don't kiss him completely.

his free hand came to give your thigh a warning squeeze, a light chuckle leaving you as you kept teasing him, lips hovering at the side of his face. when you felt considerate, you'd kiss him lightly.

you're not really sure how long it went on but probably enough time for kuroo to give up.

"okay bro whatever, let's check it again on monday with kai and see who's really right. i'm busy, bye." with a tap on end call, he tossed the phone on the empty spot beside him before tackling you on the couch, making you shriek as your back met the cushion.

"my babygirl's such a tease," he said in a low, husky voice that sent shivers up and down your spine. before you could even utter a single word, kuroo's smashing his lips against yours, moving fast that it got you mind short-circuiting.

when you finally caught up with his pace and started getting into it, he pulled away. you whined, grabbing his collar to pull him down but doesn't budge, a smirk on his face.

"it's not so fun getting teased, is it?" he winked, clearly amused at your annoyed expression.

you rolled your eyes, groaning as you smack his bicep. "seriously kuroo?"

"what, you started it kitten. it's only fair if you get a little taste of it." he laughed when you scowled further, shaking his head lightly and giving you a sweet, gentle kiss. "sorry i interrupted our movie night."

"'s okay," you mumbled in between the kiss.

"we can make out for the rest of it, you know, a way for me to make it up to you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

you scoffed, but really, the idea sounded perfect.

"just admit you enjoy kissing me."

"mmm sure, whatever," kuroo mumbled as he dipped his head, capturing your lips again. maybe movie night being interrupted wasn't so bad afterall.

rb and feedbacks r sexy ty<33

2021 (c) sevmch | strictly do not copy or repost.

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cuddlesslut · 4 years

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Okay im super excited to do this!!! This is my first Yay!! 🥰🥰 So im going to do head cannons for Oikawa and Kuroo I might come back later and right one for Atsumu but atm I just don't feel like I could right for character and do justice.

Warnings: slight angst, nsfw, light smut, fingering, daddy kink, pet play, unwanted attention, alcohol

The boys reacting to you talking to your ex

This is my first time writing smut so bare with me. Hope this is what you were looking for.💞👉🏻👈🏻💖

Oikawa Toru

okay so you and Oikawa have been dating for a few month

i love my baby boy shittykawa but i feel like he would be pretty insecure when it comes to having a girlfriend. due to past experience.

so after so many mess ups hes really trying his best with you

messaging you sweet texts

eating lunch with you and the team

and just trying to give you as much time as he can

but hes Oikawa and Prelims were coming up so as of recently volleyball practice was the only thing he could really focus on.

you understood and wanted to be there for him to support him but didnt want to distract him with such an important event coming up

that why when you got paired up with your ex for your science project it slipped your mind to tell him

he knew you and your ex ended on mutal terms but he had heard whispers that your ex still had feeling for you.

not that hes gunna tell you that as far as hes concerned hed rather you and your ex be in as little contact as possible worried that youd fall for your ex again

so when you, Oikawa were sitting having lunch together.

your first alone time together in weeks

and Oikawa saw your phone light of from a text from said ex it was hard for him not to fear the worst

he hadnt been around for you lately he worried

his thoughts started to spiral thinking that maybe because he wasnt present enough in your relationship that you ex might have been there to steal you away.

Brows knit and voice a little stained trying really badly imight add to hide his jealousy

“whys your ex meassaging you about meeting up later” he asked heart aching as he read the message on the screen.

when you see the look on his face you immediately felt bad for not telling him sooner about your project

“oh im sorry babe i forgot to tell you that we were paired together for our science project.’ you say apologized seeing how tense he was. “im sorry i didnt tell you i didnt want to distract you i know you have so much going on right now i wanted you to be able to focus on volleyball” you admitted placing your hand on his arm to reassure him.

you saw hurt and pain flash across his face.

“ Y/n you never have to worry about distracting me,” he said caressing your cheek.

“if anything you are my favorite distraction im so sorry i havent here for you lately. im so sorry ive been such a shit boyfriend I promise to make more time for you please dont leave me.” he stuttered.

this was the most vulnerable you had ever seen Oikawa. worry still stain his beautiful features.

you leaned your head forward your forehead resting against his,

“Toru ,” you coo’ed his eyes flicked up to meet yours. “ babe im not leaving you. im so happy with you. im not upset that our time together is limited right now im just happy to be with you and support you in your passion. I wouldnt have dated you if i couldnt handle your volleyball obsession, i knew what i was getting into when i said yes” you saw him breath a sigh of relief at your short speech.

“you have nothing to worry about Toru my ex has nothing on you shittykawa,” you giggled at the nickname his best friend had taken to calling him

“ heey” he pouted his signature pout before smiling and closing the space between you , pressing his soft lips against yours

your heart fluttered for even the smallest things when it came to him

“i love you,” he whispered against you lips

Kuroo Tetsurou

being at a frat party tonight was not your original plans but do to some complaining from your friends here you were wandering around trying to avoid the drunk party goers

you looked around for your friends who you had been separated from.

they were no where to be found ofcourse that figures

making your way to the kitchen cause if you were going to be stuck here you sure as hell werent going to be sober

not planning on being drunk you decided to forgo the shot offered to you instead settling on a mixed drink

you werent a wallflower but this still wasnt your usual scene and with your besties no where to be seen you need to find a place to situate yourself

settling for a seat on the open lounge chair sipping your overly sweet drink

scanning the room you realized that he was here too

standing across the room with a group of friends was none other than Kuroo Tetsurou

he stood tall among the party goers even leaning against the wall his head full of bed hair was more than recognizable he wore a pair of black jeans with a black t shirt that clung tight to his chest his arms crossed his strong arms on full display

even from where you were sited you could see the veins in his arms that always made you want to drool

continuing your gawking you eyes made their way up only to catch his staring straight into yours

it seems like you weren't the only one checking the other out

his signature smirk made your breath hitch just a little to yourself.

god this man. for the chemistry nerd you knew him to be he sure was cocky

you and Kuroo werent dating by any means you didnt fool yourself into think what you had with the science major was anymore than just two stressed students having fun

looking him up and down you bite your lip thinking back to one of your most recent hook ups

you think about going up to of the many bathrooms to send him some incentive to ditch this party and head back to his

yet as fate would have it before you could make your move your thought were interrupted

“long time time no see” you glance up at the man standing in front of you

you groaned internally as your ex slid next to you on the lounge slinging his arm behind you hand resting on your shoulder.

you rolled your eyes in irritation trying to remember how you ever fell for such a douchebag

even from across the room Kuroo could see how uncomfortable you looked. and honestly he didnt like the way your ex acted so comfortable with you

he didnt enjoy how close he leaned into to you or the way his eyes looked like they were undressing you

you may not be dating but Kuroo did not like sharing

the final straw was when your ex placed his hand on your bare knee and started trying to inch his hand closer to the hem of your short skirt

you grabbed his hand to stop him not wanting to try and take this any farther

“c’mon babe,” he groaned drunkly “ we both know you could use some good dick”

you rolled your eyes about to interject when you were cut off before you could even protest

“i couldnt agree more,” Kuroo smirked pulling you into his arms

“what do you say kitten,” he said moving his hand to grab your hip hand slipping down to grab your ass making you hitch your breath

“better luck next time dude,” Kuroo laughed pulling you away

Kuroo pulled you into one of the empty rooms locking the door behind him

“ now kitten what am i going to do with you,’ he said pushing you into the bed his breath hitting your neck sending shivers down your spine

his hands making their way up to your cheek pulling you into a searing kiss

you felt like the air was being sucked out of your lungs

you felt drunk on lust as he nipped at your bottom lip

“im sorry daddy,” you squeaked feeling his hand slip under your skirt just barley tracing his fingers were you need him most

you felt the heat in the pit of your stomach as he moved one his slender finger along your soaked panties

“please let me make it up to you,” you said slyly feeling a little more embolden from the drink you had nursed

you moved your hand down his toned stomach your fingers catching on the buttons of his jeans

his hand caught yours pinning both of you hands above your head his breath hot on your neck

“now now now ,” he breathed sucking a bruise on your neck causing you to arch into him

still holding you hand in one hand he snaked his free hand down pushing you panties to the side slide two finger between your wet fold

“ what kind of daddy would i be if i didnt take care of my kitten,” he whispered in his husky voice before he slid index finger into you heat.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Okay im going to apologize if there's any grammatical errors im so sorry 🌸💐

I had so much fun writing this!!!

And like always 🥰🥰🥰

Request are OPEN 💞

@starboybokuto-recs

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hale-13 · 3 years

Text

Febrile

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 23 - Sick

“Don’t,” Peter grouses, spitting out the last bit of bile in his mouth in the sink in the men’s restroom at Midtown and pointedly ignoring the look of disapproval both Ned and MJ are giving him in the mirror as he rinses his mouth out and washes his hands.

Words: 2101, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & May Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Tony Stark, May Parker, Helen Cho

TW: Vomiting

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

“Peter,” Ned’s voice is exasperated and he looks irritated. MJ’s face is still (mostly) an indifferent mask but he can see her eyes brows pulling in the way they do when she’s concerned. “This has been going on for three days now,” he complains. “you have got to tell May.”

“Sure don’t,” Peter says, drying his hands off on a scratchy paper towel and trying to surreptitiously blot at his sweaty face before tossing it in the trash.

“You’re an idiot,” MJ tells him with an eye roll and a soft shove of her shoulder. It completely throws off Peter’s limited equilibrium and makes him sway into the wall. Ned’s glare becomes even sharper.

“I’m fine,” Peter tries and even he can hear the lie in his words now. He totally isn’t fine. He’s not fine at all actually. He’s had a fever, vomiting and stomach cramps for going on three days now and he’s just not used to getting and staying sick this long since he got bitten by the spider. A cold or a twenty-four hour hell flu? Sure. Consistent nausea and a low to mid grade fever for seventy-two hours? Unheard of.

“This is pointless,” MJ’s voice is monotone as she tosses Peter his phone which he fumbles, just barely catching it with the tips of sticky fingers.

“When did you take my phone?” He asks confused.

MJ guides him out the door and towards the front office – the exact opposite direction he needs to be going if he’s going to make it to his chemistry class. “I took it from your pocket when you were re-enacting the exorcism. Happy should be here in like ten minutes.”

“MJ,” Peter whines, not putting up a fight when Ned grabs his other arm to help with the pulling and directing. “I don’t need to go home.”

“Yes you do,” Ned’s tone is firm. “No one wants your flu Peter.”

“Alright that’s… fair,” he admits. “But my homework-,”

“We’ll get it for you,” MJ reassures as the office comes into view. She pushes him into one of the chairs sat outside and marches in to speak to the secretary. Peter pouts and crosses his arms. Yeah he feels like shit and he really just wants to sleep and, sure, his lower abdomen is really cramping and hurting but he got shot two weeks ago and the pain isn’t that bad. He can totally handle it. “You’re signed out,” Michelle tells him when she comes back, offering Ned a note to excuse his tardiness. “Let us know that you didn’t die okay loser?”

“Bye Peter!” Ned says brightly, back to his normal self now that he knows Peter is actually going home.

His friends finally gone, Peter drops all pretense and lets his face rest against the cool wall next to him, letting his eyes slip shut in relief – his forehead was burning. He pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands and shivers. Maybe it is good that he goes home. He can take a nap and recuperate and be back at school tomorrow completely better.

Yeah. He just needs to nap.

“Well your scary girlfriend wasn’t kidding,” Mr. Stark’s voice rips Peter out of his near-sleep and has him blotting out of the chair, nearly falling over if he hadn’t caught himself on the way. “You look like shit kiddo.”

“Mr. Stark,” Peter squeaks, surprised at seeing his mentor at his freaking school what the hell. “What uh… what are you doing here?”

“What does it look like?” Tony asks with good humor, looking at Peter over the top of his AR glasses with a concerned smile, eyes scraping over him in a clinical way. “I’m here to get you.”

“Uh no offense, but why?” Peter asks, tripping over his book bag on the floor and falling back into the chair. Tony raises an eyebrow.

“Because I’m one of your emergency contacts,” he answers like this is the most obvious thing ever and Peter blinks a little in confusion. Mr. Stark is one of his emergency contacts? Since when? He opens his mouth to ask this very question when a sudden bout of nausea rolls over him and he, instead, scrambles to his feet and down the hall to the nearest bathroom.

He barely makes it to the sink before he starts gagging and dry heaving, nothing coming up but leaving him feeling dizzy and light-headed. Peter leans his head against the porcelain of the sink with a low moan, gagging again on the end and leaning his face back over the sink to drool out the excess saliva in his mouth.

“Yikes,” he hears Mr. Stark mutter behind him and then a calloused hand is running carefully through his hair and resting on his forehead. Peter pushes his face into the cool palm subconsciously and keeps his eyes closed as he tries to push the nausea down. “Yeah you’re definitely coming back to the MedBay with me.”

Peter lets out a wordless whine but doesn’t protest beyond that. It has been three days of this after all – maybe it is a good idea to consult with a professional?

“Come on buddy,” Tony says as he slings Peter’s arm over his shoulder and starts dragging him out of the bathroom and towards the entrance to the school. “You have a date with Dr. Cho and your aunt is waiting to hear the results of her exam.”

Happy actually looks concerned when Peter sees him standing outside of one of the many town cars Mr. Stark owns and he doesn’t say anything when he takes Peter’s bag from Tony to put in the front seat. The leather of the back seats is cool and the interior is darkened by the tinted windows and Peter lets out a sigh of relief, resting his head against the window; already half asleep.

The drive is, thankfully, quick and Peter dozes through most of it – still nauseous but able to hold it down for the most part. Soon enough they pull into the underground garage of the Tower and Tony is hustling him into the elevator which rockets them up to the MedBay floor without either of them having to say anything.

“May wants you to call her once you get settles,” Tony says, rapidly texting on his phone.

Peter squints his eyes at his mentor. “I’m not sure how I feel about you two texting,” he says.

“Oh we’re besties,” Tony teases, pocketing the phone with a shit eating grin. “We have coffee every other Wednesday.”

“I… don’t know if you’re serious,” Peter says, concerned. He probably doesn’t want to know to be honest. The doors of the elevator trundle open and Tony steers Peter into an empty exam room, directing him to sit on the exam bed. It only takes a second before Dr. Cho bustles in.

“Hey Peter,” she says with a smile as she rubs hand sanitizer into her hands and grabs a set of gloves from the box on the wall. “Tony said you were sick. Want to tell me about what’s going on?

“Nausea mostly,” he says as she runs a thermometer across his forehead and frowns at the readout. “My stomach hurts.”

“Well you have a fever of just over one hundred and two,” she says as she clips a pulse ox reader to his finger and wraps a blood pressure cuff around his arm and lets it run. “And your blood pressure is a little low,” she narrows her eyes at the reading and unhooks the machines. “Lay back for me?”

Peter does and stares at the ceiling as she starts to palpate his abdomen. He could probably fall asleep here actually if he – “OW!” He exclaims, curling away from Dr. Cho’s hands and wrapping his arms around his stomach to protect it.

“Well I have a tentative diagnosis,” she says snapping off her gloves. “We’ll do an ultrasound to confirm but, congratulations, Peter you have appendicitis.”

Peter and Tony both blink and then look at each other and then back. “For three days?” Tony questions, scooting Peter over to sit next to him on the bed and run a hand soothingly up and down Peter’s back. It doesn’t stop the stabbing pain in his abdomen but it helps.

“His healing factor is probably slowing down the progression, preventing it from rupturing as quickly as it could or should have,” she says, typing something into Peter’s chart on her StarkPad. “I’ll have a tech confirm with ultrasound and get a surgeon out to do the surgery. It’s pretty quick – one hour tops and then a few days recovery and you’ll be good as new.”

“Surgery?” Peter asks hoarsely, feeling his heart rate speed up. He’s never had surgery before.

Dr. Cho looks up at him and her face softens a little. “It’s an easy procedure,” she promises. “You won’t even realize that you’ve had it really and. Once you wake up, you’ll feel immediately better. Everything will be fine,” she promises and Peter nods with a gulp. He can feel stomach acid rising in his throat again and lunges for the emesis basin sitting on the bedside table, gagging into it.

“Let it all out Webs,” Tony says, rubbing his back sympathetically. “Got anything to help with this doc?”

“I’ll have the nurses start and IV and give him an anti-emetic,” she said, passing a new basin to Tony and taking the one from Peter’s slack grasp. “Just try to relax okay Peter?”

“This sucks,” he grumbles, letting his head fall over to rest on his mentor’s shoulder and relaxing when he feels Tony’s finger scrub though his hair to massage his aching head.

“Sure does kiddo,” Tony agrees, pulling the blanket up to Peter’s chest. “But at least its an easy fix.”

“I don’t want surgery,” Peter tells him quietly. Even with all of his many Spider-Man injuries he’s never had to be put under for anything. “Is May on her way?”

“Happy went to get her,” Tony promises him. “And surgery seems really scary but its not I promise. It’s like taking a really good nap and May and I will both be there alright? It’ll be fine Underoos.”

“Okay,” Peter says quietly, feeling slightly better but still a little concerned. But he would have May and Tony with him. It would be fine.

————————————————

“Guess we still need to tweak the anesthetic formula for you just a bit,” Mr. Stark says apologetically as he mops up the sweat on Peter’s brow with a damp cloth and supports him as he retches again. The surgery had gone well and had been quick. Waking up however?

Not so much.

“Just let it out baby,” May croons as she rubs his back, sweaty and making the thin hospital gown stick to his skin uncomfortably. Peter just gasps a little and squeezes his eyes closed, trying to take deep breaths through his nose to quell his nausea.

“I’m good,” Peter croaks a minute later, letting his aunt settle him back into the bed and fuss over him. He had barely woken up after the surgery before the vomiting started again. It had alarmed Tony but May and Dr. Cho had both determined that it was just a poor reaction to the anesthesia they used. With how fast him metabolism was, it should move through his system quickly.

“Can I get you anything sweetie?” May asked him, brushing his damp hair out of his face and sitting on the edge of the bed facing him.

“I’m okay,” Peter said, his eyes drooping from exhaustion. Tony squeezed his hand and tucked his blanket in a little tighter around him warming Peter up from the inside a little. He was so glad and thankful that he had the chance to get closer with Tony over the last couple months since the incident with the Vulture. The man was still a little awkward and learning how to be a mentor but he was trying and that’s all Peter could ask for. “Just want to sleep,” he said softly, letting his eyes slip closed.

“Okay baby,” he heard May whisper, running her fingers through his hair and Peter felt the ghost of a smile on his face. Yeah, he could probably handle this recovery.

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump23 #Prompt: Sick #irondad #spider man #Summer of Whump 2021

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ablackfangirlwrites · 3 years

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A/n: a new parr to this mini series!! Yay this one focuses more on kuroo ao theres something exciting!! I hope y'all enjoy this one too! Also always a big shout out @ayocee for being such a big help and inspiration for me as ive been writing this!

part 1

part 2

Humiliated. Embarrassed. Angry. Betrayed, and heartbroken. Those were all the words that describe what you felt after you saw Daichi with his girlfriend.

Since that day you had been trying your best to stay clear of him. Yes, you saw him in class but you avoided him. And after the few times he tried to speck to you, and you walked right passed him he gave up. You were determined not to give him any more of your time. Because what could he say to make you feel better? What explanation could he give you that would make you forgive him? You were sure you were in love with him, and you were sure he felt the same about you. He was supposed to be different, Yet he had been lying to you the whole time.

In all honestly, to say he only broke your heart didn’t really didn’t cover it. Because you had fallen for him harder than anyone else before.

-Y/n I know you’re upset but let me explain

You stared at the last text he sent you way longer than you cared to admit. It had been weeks. Yett, you were conflicted; you didn’t want anything to do with him. Not anymore. He didn’t deserve you. That’s what your best friend had told you once you returned to your dorm crying that day.

And you knew they were right.

But that didn’t mean it was easy to ignore him though. Even though you wanted nothing to do with him. A part of you that didn’t want to admit it wanted that answer, why did he lie to you? Was you really just a game to him? Did any part of him like you at all? But you knew the likelihood of being told something that would make you feel better was low. So why bother? It was useless. So you didn’t say anything to him.

And you just went about your own life.

“Hey, Y/n.”

You heard someone call your name one day as you sat in the coffee shop studying. This was where you did all you studying now; because being in the library was too much, it was only a reminder of all the times you and Daichi had fooled around in there, and you couldn’t take the embarrassment of seeing his friends and other people who knew you were with him.

At least here you didn’t have any memories with anyone, and no one recognizes you here, at least up until now.

You looked up from your notes to see who had called you only to frown when you saw him.

Tetsuro Kuroo.

You rolled your eyes and went back to your notes, The last time you saw him was the day you found out the truth about Daichi. Up until now, you had been doing good by not bumping into Daichi and his friends. And you were glad, cause no doubt they had to have been laughing behind your back the whole time. Knowing that Daichi was in a relationship with someone else but playing with you. No wonder they always seemed so strange whenever you were around.

“It’s been a while,” You heard him say with a smirk in his voice. But you ignored him while continuing with your notes.

Kuroo huffed out a sigh, “Okay, I sorta deserve that.”

You shot him a glance but didn’t say anything.

Kuroo started to set his things down at the table across from you. “Look I knew what Daichi was up too, but didn’t say anything. You have to understand it really wasn’t my place to say anything. He’s my friend after all-”

“What makes you think I want or need your apology?” You snap at him.

Kuroo smirked, “Good point. I just thought it was a nice thing to do...I feel bad about it” He said sitting down.

“If you really felt bad, you wouldn’t have let me make a fool of myself.” You told him, “And who said you could sit here?”

“Well, no one said I couldn’t sit here,” He said with that smirk never leaving his face.

But you weren’t amused. “Kuroo what do you want? If this is something about Daichi, I’m really not interested. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. Or you.” You told him straight up. You had been doing good by not thinking about Daichi lately, and you wanted things to stay that way. And deep down you knew if you were talking to Kuroo, Daichi couldn’t be far away. And you didn’t want to relapse into all that heartbreak again.

Kuroo’s smile went away, and he sighed deeply, “If it’s gonna bother you that much I’ll move.” And with that, he got up and gathered his things, “But for the record,” He spoke up before he left. “Me talking to you doesn’t have anything to do with Daichi.” And with those words, he went to another table leaving you alone.

“Yeah, I’d stay clear of that asshole.” Your bestie told you after you told them everything that happened when you got back to your dorm. “If he had anything to do with Daichi I wouldn’t trust him at all.”

And you agreed with her whole heartily. As far as you were concerned you were officially done with guys right now. They were all liars and heartbreakers; even the good ones, and you didn’t have any more time for them.

But that all turned out to be easier said than done. Since the day that the two of you had that little conversation, Kuroo put it in his schedule to study or just visit the coffee shop while you were there. Always saying something to you. Wither it was a “Hey.” Or just a nod in your direction. He seemed to be determined to speak to you.

And as usual, you ignored him. Yet that didn’t seem to deter him. It was like a game to him, and that only irritated you more.

“You’re so annoying you know that.” You scuff at him one day as you tried to snatch your test paper from him.. He was teasing you about the score you got in your chemistry class that he happened to see when he was passing by your table.

“So I’ve been told,” He laughed Keeping the paper out of your reach, “But for real, If you need help I’m a great tutor, And it looks like you do need the help.” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

And you knew he was right. The chances of you passing this class on you’re own were low. And You were getting pretty desperate, and you knew he was actually doing very well in all his classes. “If I say yes, you had better not try anything. And were only studying here. And I don’t want to hang out with any of your other friends,” You told him.

“You got a lot of demands for someone who needs my help,” He raised an eyebrow.

“You’re the one who offered, No funny business Kuroo.” You said seriously.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” He said with a smirk and wink. “But trust me you won’t regret it.”

And once again you found yourself hoping you weren’t making the wrong choice by letting him into your life.

If you had to describe Kuroo you would say he was annoying, he was a know it all, who couldn’t shut up. He was a smart ass, and he managed to get under your skin and infuriate you every time he opened his mouth. But more than anything ...he was funny. And he was way more charming than he had the right to be.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you had a lot of fun studying with Kuroo. Despite all his flaws and he did have a lot, you enjoyed being around him. Even if he was annoying he was smart and he knew what he was talking about when it came to the classwork and made it easier for you to get.

All in all, you really liked being Kuroo’s study buddy, and friend you didn’t want anything more. At least that’s what you kept having to tell yourself. Whenever you caught yourself looking at him too long admiring how beautiful he was.

You had to keep reminding yourself, that boys were trouble; that boys like him were trouble. And you no longer had time for them. Besides he was Daichi’s friend and so he couldn’t be that much of a good guy anyway. But that didn’t mean you heart didn’t so a stupid dance whenever he flirted with you. Which he did a lot.

But you were determined not to make a fool of yourself again and brush him off every time he did. You refused to show him how much those little things he did affected you. But Kuroo could see right through you. He just he understood why you did and he didn’t take any offense to it, because he still found himself enjoying your reactions either way.

He got why you didn’t want a relationship. He had to admit Daichi really did screw you over, but like he had told you so long ago, You seemed really nice, and he wanted to get to know you for himself. And after countless study sessions, he learned that under all that sass you put up was a sweet person, who was goofy, and a blast to be around.

And despite you refusing to fall for him, he had completely fallen for you. But more than anything for him, Kuroo enjoyed being your friend. So the relationship the two of you had with each other was enough for him.

Unless you wanted more.

“Tetsuro! Look!” You exclaimed once you saw him at the cafe. You had finally got a 100% on your chem test and it was all thanks to him. You practically jumped in his arms when you told him.

‘So adorable.’

Was all he could think, besides the fact that he would love to kiss you. But instead, he smiled “Didn’t I tell you, you weren’t gonna regret it.”

“I dunno...I kinda regret it…” You said jokingly.

“As if.” He said with a smile and an eye roll. But that just made you laugh.

“We should celebrate,” Kuroo added.

“Celebrate?”

“Yeah…” He trailed off up until now the two of you only met at the coffee shop, which wasn’t a problem. But it had been a few months now, surely you wouldn’t mind going somewhere else with him. You were friends now after all. “Let’s go out for dinner or something?”

“Dinner or something?” You raised your eyebrow.

Kuroo scratched his face avoiding looking you in the eye, “Yeah...It would be nice, a change of scenery...something other than coffee and cafe food…”

He actually seemed like he was a bit shy, and you found that more adorable than anything you had seen him do before, “Is Kuroo tongue-tied?” You teased him.

“Common...It will be fun,” He said finally looking into your eyes.

You tried to hold back your smile from him, “It sounds like a date…”

“If you wanna call it a date then it can be.”

You really didn’t want to fall for him but when you saw him like this you couldn’t help it. He was just so cute! “I…I dunno though Tetsuro-”

“I don’t bite Y/n,” Kuroo said with his cocky self coming back, “And you know I’m not up to anything. Will go just as friends-Basically what we’ve been doing, no funny business-”

“Kuroo? Y/n?”

You both were taken out of your conversation by the sound of your names. Much to Kuroo’s annoyment. When you both turned you saw it was the very last person you wanted to see. Daichi.

He stood there alone obviously not expecting to see the two of you together.

“Hey Kuroo,” He nodded at his friend, but then looked to you, “Umm, Y/n I-I haven’t seen you in a while Y/n…” He smiled awkwardly. “You look well.”

Seeing him made all those feeling you felt back then come rushing back. You immediately wanted to just disappear. You still didn’t want to talk to him, you didn’t want any confrontation you just wanted to leave. So that’s what you were going to do you turned back to do YOu looked back to Kuroo while you started to pick up your things, “Um Tetsu--Kuroo...I should really go…” You trailed off as you adjusted your backpack on you back, and walked out of the cafe.

“Y/n.”

“Y/n,” Both Kuroo and Daichi said walk.

You looked back at them, but you couldn’t do this. So you left them both standing there.

Kuroo looked at Daichi irritation clearly on his face, “Dude, what could you possibly have to say to her?”

Daichi shrugged sheepishly, “I just wanna explain to her what happened, I feel bad. And she probably wants an explanation...and I feel like I owe her you know..”

“I’m sure that’s one of the last things she wants, you really screwed her over she really liked you, man.” Kuroo told him, “I think it’s just best you leave her alone..”

Daichi nodded, “Yeah, you’re probably right about that...I wish things hadn’t turned out the way that they did.”

“Yeah, but they did…” Kuroo told him plainly.

There air was thick between the two of them for a moment, and they both new it, But Daichi cleared his voice and spoke up again, “So you and Y/n now?”

Kuroo had started to get his things to leave now, “Theres nothing going on between us.”

Daichi nodded again but forced out a laugh, “I mean it’s fine if there is, You don’t need my permission or anything.”

Kuroo wanted to roll his eyes, but Daichi was still his friends after all, so he just settled with an, “I know.” Before leaving out the cafe himself.

Kuroo left him there in the cafe. Now only determined to find you. You couldn’t have gotten that far. Albeit he didn’t know where which way you went. Countless times he tried to walk you back to your dorm after your study sessions but you always refused him. He wanted to finish talking to you. He wanted to know your answer, but more than anything now he wanted an answer to his question. Though now he doubted it was an answer he wanted now.

“Damnit Daichi,” He said under his breathe. Things were going so well between you two. Why did Daichi have to pop up and mess it up. No doubt reminding you off all the things you had been pushing back.

Kuroo was about to give up his search of you, but just before he turned back around he saw a glimpse of your shirt sitting against one the trees on campus.

As he approached you he could hear you sniffing, “Y/n?”

You quickly tried to wipe your face at the sound of is voice, “I’m fine.”

“Y/n..” Kuroo moved down to your level, “It’s okay if your not…” He handed you a napkin.

You looked at Kuroo giving him a weak smile taking the napkin. Still feeling that heavy lump in your throat, “I wish I was...I really wanted him to want me,” You cried. Kuroo didn’t exactly know what to do in this situation, but he didn’t want to leave you. So he decided to stay sit and stay silent until you were ready to leave.

You don’t know how long you sat there crying. But when you were done you felt tired and embarrassed. Kuroo sat there beside you the whole time. The air was awkward with unspoken words between the two of you not knowing what to say next. “I should get back to my dorm…” You all but whispered.

“Can I walk you?” Kuroo asked you still not wanting to leave you alone. And not having much fight in you, you just sighed and agreed.

The walk was quiet. Nether of you saying anything, still not knowing where to even start a conversation. But eventually you made it to your dorm. You turned to Kuroo before you went inside, “Thanks I guess…”

“No problem,” He said avoiding your eyes. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“What do you want from me?” You asked out of nowhere. It was a thought that was weighing on you mind the whole walk back. Kuroo and you were only study buddies, nothing else. So why was he helping you now. What did he want from you?

Kuroo was taken back by your question, but before he could answer you kept talking. “I already said I wasn’t interested in you like that. Yet, you still hang around me? Are you just waiting it out seeing if I’ll just cave in and say yes? Did Daichi tell you I was easy or something? Did Daichi-”

“No!” Kuroo cut you off before you could fishing accusing him of things, “I hang out with you cause I like you F/n, And we're friends. Like I told you before, it has nothing to do with Daichi. I’m sorry Daichi made you think that a guy has to have a motive to want to be around you.”

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe in Kuroo. He hasn’t done anything for to not to believe him. He was even here for you today when you were crying when he didn’t have to be. He had proven he was a good guy.

He was leaving when you called out to him, “Tetsu!”

Kuroo turned around, and you gave a him a smile, “I’m fee this weekend for that date.”

#kuroo testuro #kuroo scenarios #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsuro imagine #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #fluff.🍦#haikyuu imagines

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ellewritesathing · 4 years

Text

Faking It - IV

Summary: You’d done plenty of dumb things in your life, but the dumbest had to be picking Greendale’s latest bad-boy to pretend to be your boyfriend.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 4

Word-count: 3.4k+

A/N: this gif has nothing to do with this part but i thought it was cute and couldn’t find a kitchen gif that fit. hope you enjoy the drama lmao 💕

Of all the ways you saw taking Caliban’s hand the day you met, you hadn’t anticipated the very obvious outcome: that you’d develop feelings for him. Actual, real, not fake feelings. But it’s not like it was your fault - no, you blamed the blonde asshole himself. They just didn’t make guys like him in Greendale, so he completely blindsided you by being … well, himself.

He was intimidating enough that other guys left you alone, and - even though plenty of people found him as charming as you did - he made it very clear that he had no interest in any of them. He was infuriatingly good at everything he did and he looked good while doing it. He laughed at all your shitty jokes and actually listened to you when you spoke. How the hell were you supposed to not be attracted to someone who would sit with you while you worked on your art projects and quote poetry in an offhand effort to distract you?

Who the hell could even quote poetry in real life?

Not you. Not anyone that you’d ever met.

Caliban was just different in all the ways that made your heart race.

The fact that your friends liked him didn’t hurt either. Harvey still rolled his eyes whenever Caliban showed up or made the others laugh, but his anger must have subsided at least a little because you’d caught them joking around between practices. Theo loved Caliban; the two of them had inside jokes, knew each other’s lunch orders, and partnered up for chemistry. Roz would read a book and annotate it before handing it off to Caliban to read, and she liked that Caliban made you smile. Sabrina liked having someone to do dumb and borderline illegal stuff with. They liked him, and now you liked them. The fuckers.

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?” Sabrina asked, nudging you with her elbow. “You’ve been staring at the baseball field for like five minutes.”

“Of course I’m listening,” you lied. You sat up straighter and tugged your clothing back into place. “Quite frankly, I’m insulted you’d think that I wasn’t paying attention to The Great Kinkle Family Reunion.”

Sabrina tilted her head and smiled politely, that’s how you knew trouble was coming. “Then tell me what you should do when Uncle Tristan starts talking about horses,” she said.

“Uh …”

“Exactly.” Sabrina laughed and looked down at the field where Harvey, Theo, Caliban, and the rest of the team were running laps. “I’ve been to every family get together since I met Harvey, and they all end horribly. Caliban’s mom was really sweet to host one, but she’s in way over her head. Have you met her, by the way?”

“No,” you said. You couldn’t tell if that was weird or not. Were fake girlfriends supposed to meet their partner’s mothers? “But I’m kinda surprised she’s doing this given everything I’ve heard about her and the Kinkles. They weren’t exactly the most supportive of her.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why Harvey’s such a sweetheart when the rest of the family is … It was probably Tommy, now that I think about it,” Sabrina said. She shook her head and turned to look at you before taking your hands in hers. “I just wanted to check-in and make sure you’re ready for this.”

“Brina, I can handle this.” You squeezed her hands reassuringly. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve got a pretty mean right hook. Ask Colin Anderson. If there’s a fight, I’ll be golden.”

Sabrina laughed and let go of your hands. “I’m trying to prevent that fight, but good to know.”

You laughed and bumped her with your arm. “Looks like practice is letting out. You wanna head down?”

“Nah.” Sabrina put on her brightest smile and waved down to a very tired-looking Harvey. “Let them de-stink first.”

---

After two weeks of prep and cover stories, the day of the Great Reunion was here. You’d woken up disgustingly early in order to get yourself together and drive over to Caliban’s to help them set everything up.

You weren’t sure what you expected their house to look like, but clashed with the black BMW parked in the garage. It was a sweet, two-story house with a wraparound porch and balloons in the front yard. The house was painted a soft sunshine shade of yellow and had rocking chairs, hanging plants, and rose beds in the front. It was the picture-perfect house for anyone other than Caliban, but it still fit.

Different.

Gathering up your nerve and the rest of your belongings, you made your way to the door and pressed the doorbell. The tiny pothos plant felt as awkward as you did while it sat in your hands and waited for someone to open the door.

Thank God it was Caliban and not his mom.

He smiled amusedly at your plant before looking up at you. “Is that for me?”

“I know it’s a lame gift but I didn’t know if your mom was allergic to cut flowers and I’m not old enough to buy her wine,” you said in a rush. You frowned slightly and tilted your head. “Well, not legally at least.”

Caliban laughed and reached out to take one of your hands and lead you inside. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

You didn’t know what else to say as Caliban led you to the kitchen. The house was as much of a surprise inside as it was outside, and it smelled like freshly baked bread. It was colorful and covered in old photos. He seemed very at home here and lighter than you’d ever seen him elsewhere. No, not lighter. Happier.

“Wait.” You stopped dead and let go of Caliban to reach out for a photo of the cutest little boy with missing front teeth and a mess of blonde curls around his dirty face. “Is this you?” You couldn’t help the laugh that came out when Caliban looked pained at your discovery. “Aw, Abercrombie, you were so cute! What’s on your face?”

Caliban sighed and took the photo out of your hand, looking embarrassed for probably the first time in his life. “I was seven years old and I liked eating chocolate. Is that a problem?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” a woman said as she rounded a corner and laughed. She had the most beautiful long, brown hair and kind eyes. “You didn’t just like chocolate. If you came anywhere near it, you used to eat yourself into a sugar coma. I couldn’t bake anything around you without you eating the batter before it even got into the oven.”

She laughed and ruffled Caliban’s hair before smiling at you. You didn’t know anyone could ruffle his hair without losing a hand.

“You must be the lovely new girlfriend I’ve heard so much about,” she said. “I’m Isobel. Is that for me?”

Isobel pointed at your little pot plant and jolted you back to life. “Uh, yeah,” you said and held the plant out to her. Her hands were warm as she took the plant from you. “I wasn’t too sure what to bring but I didn’t want to come empty-handed.”

“Oh, not at all. This little guy is perfect!” Isobel lifted up the plant to look at it. “I’m going to give him some water and put him in the front. Do you guys want to get settled in the kitchen so long?”

“Of course,” Caliban said with a gentle smile. His mom gave him another playful bump and disappeared into some other part of the house while Caliban held a hand out to you. “Shall we?”

“Who are you?” you teased with wide eyes as you took his hand in yours.

You followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar. They were here for maybe a month and their house already felt like more of a home than yours ever did. How they afforded it all, you had no idea, but Caliban never spoke about his birth dad and you didn’t want to push. All you knew was he gave Caliban his blonde hair and bone structure, nothing more and nothing less.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sight of Caliban in a sunflower printed apron. Clearly, your efforts to contain your amusement weren’t nearly as stellar as you thought they were because Caliban raised an eyebrow at you over all the baking supplies on the counter.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“I didn’t peg you for an apron guy is all,” you said with a small shrug, doing your best to sound nonchalant and not totally, completely chalant.

“I don’t like getting my clothes dirty,” Caliban said defensively. “Without an apron, anything can stain your shirt.”

“I think I’ll take the risk,” you said as you tapped the counter. “I trust myself and don’t think anyone’s going to splatter batter on me.”

“Batter, maybe not …” Caliban tilted his head to the side. “But flour?”

“Flour?”

Before you had the chance to ask what he meant, Caliban threw a handful of flour at you. He laughed at how shocked you were and you took that opportunity to reach across the counter and throw some flour at him. Soon enough the two of you were running around the kitchen, covered in flour, and laughing until your sides hurt.

Caliban wrapped his arms around you and scooped you up, ignoring your pleading and cries that were cut short by laughter. You were still mid-air with Caliban’s face close to your own when Isobel came back.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Isobel put her hands out to get your attention. “We have guests coming in an hour and the two of you are making a mess in my kitchen.”

Caliban set you down, but the two of you were still tangled up and filthy. You didn’t know what to say to the woman you’d met fifteen minutes ago and whose kitchen you’d subsequently ruined.

Isobel laughed and shook her head. “It’s my own fault for leaving this one unsupervised,” she teased, pointing a finger at Caliban as she made her way around to start cleaning up. “Go clean yourselves up. Come back when you don’t like friendly ghosts.”

Luckily for you, flour was relatively easy to get out because you weren’t wearing dark colors for once. It took a while to get it out of your hair and make it look presentable, but it was hard to be too mad at the mess when it was such a fun time making it.

When you got back downstairs, you could hear people laughing and talking in the kitchen. It was still too early for guests but it was clear that it wasn’t just Caliban and his mom.

You were right. You rounded the corner to find Caliban freshly-changed, his mom kneading some dough, and a very pretty redhead with big doe-eyes all laughing at some inside joke. It made you feel painfully other.

“Oh, Luce,” Isobel said when she noticed you come in, waving you over. “You have to meet Caliban’s girlfriend. She’s a gem.”

Luce ... As in Lucy? Lucy from California? Harvey’s first crush? Lucy.

This was going to end badly.

Lucy tilted her head as she turned to look at you. You could see the gears turning in her head as she looked you over. “Girlfriend?” she asked with a friendly (but fake) smile.

“The one and only,” you said with an over-confident smile as you walked over and interlaced your hand with Caliban’s. You wrapped your other hand around his arm, just like the first day you met. You introduced yourself with a friendly yet fake smile of your own.

“You guys moved up here a few months ago and Caliban’s completely forgotten about me,” Lucy teased to Isobel. She moved some hair out of her face and looked over at you again. “He used to tell me everything. We were like this.” She crossed her index and middle finger over each other with a smile.

You’d have liked to show her one of your fingers.

But you didn’t. All you did was smile and make some polite conversation while not letting go of Caliban. You weren’t sure why you were being so defensive. It’s not like you and Caliban were actually dating, but you didn’t like Lucy. Not only did she break Harvey’s heart and cause all the damage you’d spent the better part of two months fixing, but she also just rubbed you the wrong way.

“Okay, not to ruin all the fun,” Isobel said after a while. “But guests should be coming soon. Why don’t you kids make sure everything is set up in the back and keep an ear out for any early birds?”

“Sure thing,” Lucy said, hopping off her seat and leading the way to the backyard.

You started following when Caliban caught your arm and said something to his mom about getting more supplies from the garage. He didn’t say anything else as he led the way and neither did you, but that was mostly just because you were being petty.

Caliban led you to the middle of the garage and tugged on the old light to illuminate the dusty room around you. He lifted your intertwined hands and folded them over each other as he thought about what he was going to say.

You couldn’t wait that long.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Lucy? And I want the truth this time.”

Caliban laughed and shook his head as he looked up at the old light above you. He took a breath before saying, “Lucinda’s my best friend, pretty much my only friend before yours so kindly took me in. If I’d known she’d be here today, I would have said something.”

“Wait, you were best friends with the girl who broke up your family?” you asked.

“She apologized,” Caliban said. “And, besides, you’re friends with Harvey.”

“Harvey’s never made out with me,” you said, untangling your hand from his so that you could cross your arms over your chest.

Caliban narrowed his eyes slightly as he took in your newly defensive stance, and then he laughed without saying anything else. He looked amused when he met your scowling gaze again. “I can’t believe you’re jealous,” he said. “Don’t misunderstand me, it’s incredibly attractive but-”

“I am not jealous,” you said. “I couldn’t care less.”

“I’m sure,” Caliban said with a sarcastic smile. He rolled his eyes as he stepped closer and cupped your face before leaning down to be millimeters away from your face. “Forget about her, alright? I assure you, you’re the only fake girlfriend for me.”

Before you had the chance to say something witty in return, the garage door flew open and the devil herself stood in the opening.

“There you are!” Lucy said. “Cal, I need help with these streamers. I’m way too short to get them where your mom wants them.”

“I’ll be right out,” Caliban said without taking his eyes off yours. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before taking a step back and leaving you in the dusty and dim garage.

You shot a warning text to Harvey about Lucy before you went out to help the others. Though he never answered, he must have got it because he was surprisingly okay when he and Sabrina got there. You and Sabrina shared a look when Lucy got a bit handsy with her hello, but neither of you said anything.

That’s how most of the get together went; you and Sabrina sharing secret, sarcastic looks and staying out of trouble. Well, mostly. You still didn’t know what to say when Uncle Tristan started talking about horses, but Caliban came to your rescue and the rest was smooth sailing.

Until an hour went by when you couldn’t find Caliban anywhere. You asked around but no one had seen him, but his mom pointed you in the direction of his room. Isobel held onto your arm before you could leave.

“Um, I’m sorry if this seems a bit strange but I …” Isobel smiled and looked down at her hand on your arm before letting go, clearly trying to respect whatever boundaries you may have had. “Caliban’s been a lot happier since we moved here and I think that has to do with you. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Oh, uh- It’s nothing. I’m just a girl and I’m sure Caliban’s brought a few of us around by now with cheekbones like that,” you said with a smile.

“No, Caliban’s never brought anyone home before,” Isobel said, looking like she was trying to remember anything to the contrary. “Sorry, hun, I’ve gotta go. Jan’s calling me over. Good luck with the search!”

“Thanks,” you said quietly.

Isobel disappeared into the sea of Kinkles and you made your way to Caliban’s room. You took your time going up the stairs, looking at all the photos on the wall as you did. It was nice to see that Caliban was just as angry and angsty now as he was at 14 years old.

It was strangely quiet upstairs compared to the rest of the house and the party in the backyard. Quite enough that you could hear someone giggling upstairs, someone decidedly not Caliban.

Roz would have told you to face it head-on and not to sneak around like a creep. Thankfully, Roz wasn’t there to say anything.

You tiptoed as casually as you could to Caliban’s room. The room felt more like the Caliban you knew than the rest of the house did: big windows without any blinds, a tornado of books and sketches on every surface available, and a very pretty redhead making out with him.

“She kissed you, huh?” you asked, echoing the story of when they were younger before turning on your heel and slamming the door behind you. Your heart ached annoyingly when Caliban called out for you as he followed behind you, but your brain told it to suck it up until you were out of the house.

By sheer force of will, you made it back downstairs without turning around, but then Caliban managed to get a hold of your hand and spin you around to face him.

“Would you please let me explain?” Caliban asked.

“No,” you said, pulling your hand away from him. “Look, it’s not like you have anything to explain anyway, okay?” He reached out for you again and you took a step back so you wouldn’t be confused by his touch. “You and me? We were a fake relationship. Maybe this is the universe saying it’s time it came to a real end.”

You knew what he’d say if you weren’t arguing. He’d ask you, with that annoying smile of his, when you started letting the universe tell you what to do. Or he’d make some comment about the universe being a bastard. But all he did now was set his jaw and look down at his hand.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying this is it,” you said. “Goodbye, Caliban.”

You weren’t sure why you expected him to say something else, to fight for your fake relationship, but all that expectation just led to disappointment. Caliban flexed his hand but didn’t say anything else as you pushed past him to get your stuff from the kitchen so you could rush to your car to cry.

Harvey was tapping on your window just before you started the car. Curse your five-minute breakdown for being long enough for him to notice you were gone.

“What?” you asked as you rolled down the window.

“Are you okay?” Harvey asked. “You ran out of there so fast-”

“You were right, okay?” You put your car in reverse before looking back up at him. “Caliban’s not a good guy and you warned me. Will you just let me go so I can cry somewhere that’s not here?”

“Hey, you know that’s not what I meant,” Harvey said softly, reaching through the window for you. “Let me come with-”

“No. Go have fun with your family. I need to get out of here.”

“But-”

“Harvey, move or I will drive over your foot.”

You didn’t think he was going to do it, but Harvey took a very reluctant step back and put his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t going to fight for you either, not that you’d given him much of a chance. Harvey was stood there, watching you drive away until he disappeared in your rearview mirror.

Music blared in an attempt to drown out your thoughts, but there was one you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried. Sabrina was right - every Kinkle family get together ended horribly.

Tagged: @miss--moose @marrypuffsstuff @harryscarolinaa @igorsbby @foji2000 @mschfavngz @artaxerxesthegreat @thxmagic @strawberriesandknives @xealia @hotmessindisguise @reheated-coffee @shelby-x @perseny-blog @millie-753 @luneerius @shizzybarnaclee @lettherebelovex @throughparisallthroughrome @ietss @thebookwormlife @mechanicalanimalz @mariamermaid @nqbmf @drrramaaaqweeen

#faking it #caliban #caliban imagine #caliban x reader #caos #chilling adventures of sabrina

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ohshit-itsyagorl · 4 years

Text

Four Dipshits and a Michelle

Part 1

Hey, Loves! This is a fanfiction I’ve been working on recently. Hope you like it!

Summary: Michelle never believed in soulmates. But what happens when she turns seventeen and gets her mark? What happens when she inevitably finds the person with the matching tattoo? And what is she supposed to do with Peter Parker. Her best friend in the whole world. Her crush. Someone she feels drawn to for some inexplicable reason.

Michelle Jones never understood the infatuation human society had with soulmates.

As a little girl full of hopes and dreams, she admits she was rather fond of the idea: someone out there who was perfect for her, someone who she could share her life with, her soul-bonded partner.

Until her mom got sick. And her dad started treating his wife like his own personal punching bag and then left them with barley enough money to get by. And that sucked, but Michelle could deal with it. She really could.

(But she was not okay.)

But after that initial honeymoon phase, after seeing a relationship that was supposedly written in the cosmos fall apart, she was wrenched back to a sad, logical reality.

After giving up on her soulmate, she found it grating how often it came up in seemingly normal discussion.

This, Michelle thought, was rather ridiculous, considering they were all freshman in high school, and wouldn’t be turning 17 for at least two years, three for most of them.

When she woke up on the morning of February 27th, she was not expecting the day to be anything special or different.

Trudging to the bathroom, half asleep with hair in her mouth, she thought she might pass out. Damn her for opting to take the PCB (physics, then chemistry, then biology) route instead of being normal like almost every other kid at Midtown Tech.

The only bonus to PCB was that she had the same kids in her science class every year. Betty and Cindy and Ned and Peter. The only downside was Flash, who was insufferable on the very best of days. He was also on the PCB track.

(Ugh.)

Point was, Michelle had stayed up super late the previous night studying for a massive test with Peter and Ned, and she was absolutely exhausted.

(Physics could be a bitch sometimes.)

“Hey, Sweetie, how did you sleep?” Her mom was laying on the couch, nose shoved into her book, right arm hooked up to an IV. When Michelle didn’t answer immediately, she looked up and let out a soft oh. “Rough night?” She asked.

Michelle sighed. “Yeah. Big test today. Studied with the losers last night.”

“Well, good luck, honey.” MJ started walking toward the door. “Oh, and, Michelle? Don’t call your friends losers.”

Michelle ran a hand through her hair, the chocolate curls a tangled mess perched atop her head.

————————————————————

“Hey, MJ.” Michelle looked up to see Peter waving at her, toothy grin and glasses and a dark blue sweater. She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. Too early, Idiot.

Physics went as well as could be expected. Lunch was a different story.

“I can’t wait,” Betty said dreamily. “I wonder what they’ll look like.”

“I wonder what my soulmark will be,” Ned said, looking up from his English notes. “With my luck, it’ll be worse than that senior with a foot tattooed down the right side of his face.”

Michelle snorted. “Yeah, maybe it’ll be a giant dick or something.”

“Maybe yours’ll be a unicorn, MJ. You know, to match your personality,” Ned fired back.

She stiffened, looking around at the group. ‘‘I don’t want a soulmate,” she muttered.

“What? Why not?” Cindy exclaimed, her eyes almost comically wide.

Peter looked up at that. His glasses had fallen down his nose considerably, and he shoved them back up his face. Dork.

Michelle shrugged. “I just don’t. They’re pointless.”

“Well,” Peter started, “maybe one day you’ll change your mind.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not likely, Parker.”

“Tell that to your soul-bonded partner.”

A soft chorus of oohs echoed from the Table around her. She needed new friends.

“Whatever. Even if I find my soulmate, I’ll just avoid them like the plague. Shouldn’t be that hard with all my practice when it comes to you lot.”

Peter let out a small uh-huh, and went back to whatever the hell it was he was doing.

It wasn’t like she and Peter didn’t argue. As best friends, it was kind of part of the job description. But Peter and Ned already knew how she felt about soulmates and soulmarks. Michelle was surprised he had pushed her on that front. Weird.

She cleared her throat.

—————————————————————

Sophomore year rolled around, and with it came Academic Decathlon. Michelle befriended Liz almost immediately. She was so nice, and perfect, and smart.

About halfway through the year after a field trip for AcaDec, Peter missed school for over a week. Something about catching a bug on the trip. On day 10, Michelle went to his apartment.

May opened the door. “Oh, hey, MJ! Peter is in his room. He’ll be glad to see you,” she said, a smile gracing her face.

Michelle walked past May with a small nod of acknowledgement. When she entered Peter’s room, she was fairly surprised to see that he, in fact, did actually look very sick. He was on the floor covered in sweat and shaking.

“Ohmigod, Peter! Are you okay?”

“Oh, MJ. Didn’t know you cared. How sweet of you,” he managed through chattering teeth.

“I don’t, Loser. Here,” Michelle leaned down, “let me help you to your bed.”

“No!” Peter scrambled backward over a pile of schoolwork, the pages sticking to his hands. The sweat, probably, thought Michelle

She quirked an eyebrow.

“I, uh—I don’t want to get you sick, is all,” he explained.

“Whatever, Loser,” she said. “I brought you your schoolwork, so… here you go.” She dropped the stack onto his unoccupied bed, spared Peter one more glance, shrugged, and turned to walk out of the room.

“MJ, wait. Thank you, for, uh, for the schoolwork.”

She flipped him off on the way out the door. Weirdo.

Peter started changing after that. He started filling out his shirts more. She figured he had started working out or something.

Not that she was looking at him. Because she wasn’t.

He no longer wore glasses, and dropped out of marching band and robotics club. He disappeared at nationals, showing up only for the ride home after the fiasco at the Washington Monument (of all the times to gain a rebellious streak AcaDec nationals was not the time or the place). Michelle glared at him nonstop for a week after that.

People started avoiding the topic of soulmates and soulmarks around her, knowing it was a touchy subject.

Over the course of the year, Michelle grew closer to Peter and Ned than the other kids in Acadec.

—————————————————————

“MJ?” Peter looked back at her from where he was squatting down in front of the DVD player. He was wearing sweats and a math pun t-shirt that stretched tightly across his chest. His arms across his legs were lithe and muscled. How had she never noticed before…

And she was staring. Michelle blushed furiously. Peter smirked. She flipped him off. He chuckled.

“What do you want?” She asked. His hair was gelled back like every day, but it was a bit mussed, falling onto his forehead. Her blood heated. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, wondered how soft it would be.

Peter ran a hand through said hair, biting his lip. “Have you—uh—have you ever seen The Princess Bride?” He asked.

MJ rolled her eyes. This boy. “Bits and pieces. I was never really interested in that mushy, gushy, sappy shit. Besides, we are not watching that.”

“Uh, yeah, we are. It’s simply tragic how your previous social circle failed you,” he said, scrunching his nose up. It was cute annoying.

Michelle squinted at him, mouth becoming a thin line. He smiled back innocently. She flipped him off. Again.

She relented in the end.

Peter hopped up next to where she was sitting, stretching his arms up and over the back of the couch. Michelles’s eyes snagged on the bit of exposed skin where his shirt had ridden up. Were those… abs? She shook her head, looking back toward the now-glowing TV screen. Her nerdy best friend Peter Parker could not have abs. But.

Michelle had to admit that the movie wasn’t actually as bad as she had initially thought. The reason for that was mostly Peter. The absolute dweeb was acting out the fight scenes with himself. Watching Peter try and punch and defend himself at the same time was pretty funny.

MJ looked over at Peter during the end of the movie. He was looking at her.

“Why don’t you believe in soulmates?” He blurted, then proceeded to clap a hand over his mouth. “Shit, I’m sorry. You really, uh, really don’t have to answer that.”

And maybe it was the laughter they had shared together. Maybe it was the way she felt safe around him, or how his hair curled behind his ears, but, “My parents were soulmates. It—it didn’t work out."

That was all she was willing to share.

Peter nodded, swallowing thickly and looking back to the movie. “I think Ned’s right,” he said. Michelle raised an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat, “Your soulmark is definitely going to be a unicorn. Or a pegasus. Or a rainb—”

“Shut up, Parker.”

Peter raised his hands defensively, grinning.

They talked for another hour, but Peter couldn’t seem to drop the conversation about soulmates.

“Hey, MJ?” He said, giving her a curious look.

Michelle hummed.

Peter ran a hand through his hair. With all the posing while acting out the movie, it looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Maybe even just had—

No. Best friend. Peter was her best friend. Nothing more.

“On your birthday,” he ventured, “when you get your mark, will you tell me about it? We could, like, make fun of each other’s or something. Once I get mine, that is.”

Michelle hesitated. Then: “Sure, okay. Yeah, that sounds good.”

Peter beamed at her and her heart did a backflip. It was worth talking about her soulmark to see that smile, different from his usually timid upturned lips. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Awesome! What are best friends for if not to make fun of shit,” he said.

Best friend. The words stung a bit, even if they were true.

-----------------------------------------------------

Junior year came faster than any of them expected, and with it, standardized testing. Michelle was sad that Liz had moved away the year prior when her dad was caught selling alien technology illegally, but she was excited to be team captain this year. She, Peter, and Ned had all celebrated with aLord of the Rings movie marathon, but over the past few months, Peter and Ned had been sharing hushed conversations. MJ wasn’t sure what was going on, but it made her feel kind of shitty—like she was being pushed out of their friend group.

But then Peter would shoot her a shy smile, and she would feel a little better. There was definitely something going on, though.

Betty got her mark over the summer—a small cat’s eye in the palm of her left hand—but she had had no luck finding the person with the matching tattoo, much to her chagrin.

Michelle truly felt like she was rocketing toward her birthday. Somehow, she and Peter had found a way to turn her soulmate into a bit of a joke, which helped. A little.

That’s how Michelle found herself on the phone with Peter, wearing a tank top and shorts in the middle of winter, watching the seconds tick down to midnight.

“I’m so excited,” Peter said over the phone. “I can’t wait to see if it’s a unicorn or a pegasus.”

“Can it, Parker,” Michelle snapped. She was strangely terrified, though she wasn’t sure why.

“Okay, Magic Princess Unicorn—”

“I mean it, Pete.”

“Ten seconds, MJ.”

“Shit,” she whispered, hands shaking as she hastily put Peter on speaker, and set down the phone, turning to face the floor-length mirror.

“Do you see anything?” He asked. Did he sound… nervous?

Michelle scanned her arms and legs in the mirror, turned around and did the same on the back. “Fuck.”

“What?” Peter said, voice crackling over the phone. “What is it? Is it a Unicorn?”

“No,” Michelle gasped out. “I don’t see anything.”

It was true she didn’t want anything to do with her soulmate, but it did hurt that she didn’t even have one.

She let out a sob, then slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

“MJ—MJ, calm down. It’s probably just somewhere else. Try taking your clothes off.” Michelle felt her toes curl into the carpet, her breath hitched. “Fuck,” Peter said. “I didn’t mean it like that—fuck, that came out wrong.”

You don’t need to apologize, Michelle thought. Instead, she nodded, then, realizing he couldn’t see her over the phone, she cleared her throat and said, “No, I get it—what you meant, I mean.” She cringed, Christ, she was absolutely horrible at this. “God, I hope it’s not on my ass.”

Peter let out a bark of laughter. Michelle smiled, then remembered her situation, frowned.

“Stop frowning, you’ll get premature wrinkles,” Peter said.

Michelle frowned deeper. “How do you know I’m frowning?”

“I know you, MJ. Now stop frowning. There’s only one way to know if you have a tattoo on your ass,” Peter said, choking on the last word. “Just check.”

Michelle loosed a breath. “Okay. I guess you’re right.”

She turned back toward the mirror, reaching for the waistband of her shorts and underwear, pulling them both down at the same time. Nothing on the front. She shimmied around a bit, before giving in and stepping out of her shorts. She glanced over her shoulder into the mirror. Nothing.

She took off her tank top next, checking her back first, since she was already facing in that direction. Still nothing. She turned around and ran her fingers over her stomach. Nothing there, either. Goddammit.

She slowly reached back to unclasp her bra and let it slide down her arms. “Mother fucker,” she said quietly.

She’s not sure how, but Peter heard her. “MJ? What’s the status? Did you find it?”

“Yeah, I did. And I fucking hate the universe.” She hissed.

Peter laughed nervously. “Well, what is it? Where is it?”

“Like hell I’m telling you!” MJ screeched.

“C’mon, Michelle, we had a deal!” Peter said. She could picture him laying down in bed, then sitting up abruptly, hair mussed like that night they had watched The Princess bride together. And that strip of skin she’d glimpsed and—fuck, she was thinking about him while she was naked.

“Peter, I literally had to take all my clothes off just to find it. I am not telling you about this ever. God, this is so humiliating.” Michelle looked in the mirror again and winced. Staring back a her was her naked body, dark skin gleaming in the moonlight, curls coming down over her breasts. She moved her hair out of the way to get a better look at her mark, and… there it was. A fist-size black spider sitting in the middle of her left breast, right over her nipple. She groaned, burying her face in the crook of her elbow.

“Oh, c’mon, M. It can’t be that bad,” Peter said.

“It’s bad, Pete,” Michelle sighed. “Well, at least this way my soulmate won’t be able to see my mark.”

Michelle stroked a finger over one of the spider’s legs and shivered. Peter swore over the phone.

“What?” Michelle asked.

“Nothing,” Peter said, though his voice was shaky. “Just got a shiver. That’s what I get for not wearing a shirt.

This boy.

And now she was picturing him shirtless. Fuck. With that mussed-up hair. Double-fuck. She looked down to find that the hand near her breast had grabbed on, kneading the soft flesh. Holy mother of god, an infinite amount of fucks. But it felt good. Really good. She let out a quiet moan.

“MJ? What’s going on, are you okay?” How the ever-living hell did Peter keep hearing her? She could barely hear herself.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she managed. Thankfully she sounded normal, if not a little breathy. “Just a little messed up after seeing the mark, you know? I wasn’t expecting to feel so… attached to it.” Because that’s what it was, she realized. She could already feel her connection to someone else, and she hated herself for loving it, for craving that sensation to be stronger.

“Okay. We should probably both go to sleep anyway,” Peter said. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” He sounded worried, but he was willing to give her space. That was one of the things she valued most about their friendship.

“Yeah,” Michelle said. Then, when she heard him start to shift, presumably on his bed (God help her), she interrupted, “and, Peter?” He hummed in response. “Put a shirt on. It’s cold out.”

He grunted. “Yeah, will do, M.”

Somehow Michelle got the feeling he wasn’t going to put on a shirt. Idiot.

Part 2

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #spideychelle #soulmate #soulmarks #peter x michelle #michelle jones #eventual smut #masterbation #best friends #au #peter parker soulmate

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thewritingstar · 4 years

Text

Bite my Tongue

Pairing: Blossom x Butch (blossutch)

Fandom: PowerPuff Girls

Words: 6027

So I had this idea a while ago and suddenly i was struck with inspiration. This is probably the longest one shot ive done and im actually really proud of this so please be nice and show some love! Im sorry to everyone not in the fandom and just waiting for me to get off the ppg high but ahahhahah no. Anyways i hope you enjoy.

----

Blossom was never one to shout out her opinions. She always thought them through before letting others know what she had to say. She took into consideration every perspective and point of view and if it was a question relying heavily on morals, she had already decided the right answer in her head. She was bold but never brash, unlike Buttercup who would jump straight into anything and figure out the ending later. Even Bubbles’s heavy heart could cloud her judgement at times, Blossom tried to be the one to even out the score.

She could hold her tongue if she didn't agree because it was too much of a headache to correct every single person, she wanted to, but she knew her limits. She was an extremely educated woman. She taught herself how to read and do basic math days after she was “born”. She graduated top of her class in every school, preschool, elementary, middle and high school where she had to unfortunately share the top spot with Brick who had the same exact GPA as her down to the 11th decimal point. Yes, they checked that far.

She went to an elite college and worked her way into a PHD for Organic Chemistry, Marine Biology and even Law. No one knew more than her, except maybe Brick, but that was still up for debate because she graduated one week before him. They had a conjoined party and they spent most of the night debating. Most people thought they hated each other but they had a really close bound like siblings.

The moral of her life is that she knew best. She knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it and if she didn’t she would find a way. It’s what made her such a determined and born leader. No matter the situation being a group project for English class or a monster fight, the calculations in her head were ready and thought through before leaving her mouth.

And if she ever did yell or scream without thinking, it would only be a millisecond before she had facts to prove her point.

However she didn’t know how much of a loose cannon she would be when it came to her boyfriend. The notorious ex villain RowdyRuff Boy Butch. Aka the most unsuitable man for Blossom Utonium according to every single person's unhelpful opinion.

She remembers when the feelings arose during high school. For some reason he had come to her for help on his mid terms. Of course she was more than happy to help and she wondered if it was because he liked to tease her or to get under his brother's skin. Whatever the case, she happily agreed.

“I love doing charity work.” She said smugly and the dark green eyes looked at her before making her blush from the stare.

“Damn Pink, no need to be harsh.” His voice was light and she was thankful he didn’t see it as a threat. She liked that she could joke with him because if she had said that to Brick, let’s just say another argument would break out.

Weeks passed by as she would spend lunch and after school time with him studying. She didn’t know when he looked so peaceful when doing his homework or how much she truly enjoyed his company. They would go to small cafes or sit in the park with their worksheets spread around them.

There was this small feeling deep within her heart that she hadn’t quite known. She thought she was getting sick or light headed but the pressure built up as she heard him laugh. She left that day and spent the rest of the night quietly staring at the ceiling, her mind for once empty as she didn’t know what to say or do.

It was one of the first moments that she didn’t think through. It was a sudden loose thought and she ran with it. Her heart screamed at her after he came running up to her after fall break to show her that he had gotten high scores on his exams. His smile was breathtaking and she spun her around, flying them into the air before setting them back down. Those few seconds in the sky as he held her close and genuinely laughed made her have a heartfelt thought.

Her feet landed on the ground and she was thankful that they were alone because while he was rambling on and on about how she helped him, she wrapped her fingers around the strings of his hoodie and pulled him close before crashing her lips against his.

He wasted no time kissing her back. His lips were unbelievably soft and she had kissed others before but for some reason, this felt right. Her clouded judgement of whether she should have done this or not washed away when they pulled apart and he stared at her with wide eyes and an even wide smirk.

“I’m proud of you Butch.” Her fingers were still around his hoodie but he made no intention to move out of her grasp. “In fact you can thank me by taking me out on Saturday.”

To say they were both surprised was an understatement. His smirk somehow got bigger and she swore that she picked up on the blush on his cheeks and there was no doubt that her face was matching his.

He said nothing but continued to stare and she suddenly felt like she read all the signs wrong. Maybe the shoulder touches and the knees touches weren’t what she thought. Maybe the light flirting and the teasing was just that, a joke. Maybe, oh her head was now racing. She knew better than to run all the options and pros and cons of each situation.

She had a hand on her waist before she was pulled closed. Her hands now flat against his chest, she didn’t even know she had looked away from him.

“You’re cute when you think too much.” So he saw those gears always turning in her head. The concentration on her face was mostly present throughout the day, the inner superhero in her. “Saturday it is Pink.” He whispered and she closed her eyes as his lips fell on hers again. Her mind now at ease.

The moment the world heard about their dating, which started in high school mind you, the news exploded. Time after time they asked why she didn’t date her counterpart and time and time again she would say “Because I don’t want to”. Which was true. There was no spark between them like that. Brick had taken eyes for the joy and the laughter sister while Boomer was busy swooning over the toughest fighter, she was happy for them. Everyone was happy for those pairs.

But Butch and Blossom received the most criticism. They understood the dynamic between the scary bad boy and the sweetest girl to walk the earth and the relationship between the best damn sports girl and the best damn musician. The dynamic of the perfectionist and the far from perfect was not everyone's cup of tea.

At first she was annoyed. She would shoot reporters cold glares and say that her personal life was her business only. She never let Butch know how much it hurt her when people would talk down about them together. She would always be chipper around him and make sure that he always felt loved by her, she would hate to make him feel bad because of what stupid reporters would say.

Luckily for Butch he genuinely couldn’t care less what the press thought. He spent his entire life being hounded down for his behavior and has taught himself to let things just roll off his shoulders, he had super powers, what did they have? Nothing.

And although he could let things slide, he saw it in her eyes one day when they were hanging out. The nice summer's day was interrupted by an attack from a brutal monster. The girls saved the day as usual and as she landed and went to talk to the police, an interview got in her way. The man said something about her being better than her boyfriend and how she could allow herself to date someone who was a villain. It wasn’t even the worst comment she had received, but her body ached and all she wanted to do was curl up into her bed and cry.

Without thinking she turned and used her ice breath, freezing his camera and making it shatter to the ground.

“I think they are the cutest.” Bubbles said behind her and she was thankful that her sisters supported her. They were all in the same boat after all.

Buttercup passed the guy too and shot a glare. “That’s my counterpart so saying shit like that is insulting to me buddy.” The man began shaking as the threat came from her. Buttercup never liked to use the ‘counterpart term’ but she would if it meant defending her sister and her best friend.

Her sisters saw that strong exterior crumble. They have had their fair share of comments but watching Blossom slightly shake and bite her quivering lip as she flew home made them both sad. Bubbles wrapped her arms around her and Buttercup kissed the top of her head while texting the green eyed boy to call his girl.

She almost didn’t pick up the phone when he called. But eventually he got her to sit on the edge of an abandoned building's roof, one of their many secret spots. He sat next to her, arm over her shoulder as he held her. Her tears came as a surprise and he let her use his shirt to soak up her pain.

“It isn’t fair.” She whispered as she held his hand.

“I know.” he kissed her head.

“It's okay if you’re done.” She cried. “I understand.” She began to move away from him. Ashamed that she had let all these people say these terrible things about him. It wasn’t fair and he deserved better. They had only been dating for about two months, she would be okay.

It's happened before. All her past relationships had left because they couldn’t take the heat and she would try to tell them that it wouldn’t matter, because it didn’t. But for this one, it hurt. She wanted to be able to say that she wasn’t affected by the press, she wasn’t before so why now? She had become numb to paparazzi in the past but every since they practically hounded Butch every chance they got, she was afraid.

She was frightened to acknowledge that it was all wrong. Before accepting any of her other boyfriends, she had a day or two to think about it. How would they act? What would dates be? All those things played over and over in that massive mind space but this was completely blind. She had stopped thinking around him, not literally but in the means that she didn’t have to and she liked that.

But she was now looking at the consequence of it all. Butch, who has done so much to clean up his reputation with his brothers and become civilized as much as possible, he still would fight with BC constantly but there was nothing she could do about that. He deserves someone better. Someone who wasn’t stuck up and held their head too high for anyone to touch her crown, not that she believed she did that but that's what the rumors said. Bossy Blossy as they say.

It wasn’t fair to make him suffer. Not when his brothers got off easy. Brick was somehow adored by the press when he did something so little as smile at Bubbles and Boomer was the golden boy as he opened doors for Buttercup. But Butch, no. When the cameras captured them together, Blossom was always laughing and yet, they still said he was no match.

So when he grabbed her arm gently and pulled her to his chest. She was surprised when she felt the tears drip onto her shoulders. She looked into those green eyes she grew so fond of, they were a great color, and saw them brimming with matching tears.

That was something she adored about him. He was naturally so tough and rough and felt the most confident with dirt caked on his face and blood dripping from the scraps. And then there was this side. The delicate and softness that no one thought he could have. The way he touched her and talked, he was always so sweet with her.

“Blossom.” He rarely used her name. It was always pet names and endearments but when he did use her name it was for the sake of love and pain, almost like he had to save it for a special occasion. “You may not believe me but I do not give a single fuck about what those nobody's say.”

She sniffed as his thumb caught one of her tears. “Really?” Her voice was trying to regain its strength.

“Yes. Why would I? They say I don’t deserve you and sure I felt that way too, but then I remembered something.” He laughed a little which made her smile.

“What?” She sniffled.

“I remembered that I was dating Blossom Utonium. The girl who thinks everything through before diving in. She never once goes back on her promises and is so incredibly smart that she could do anything she sets her mind too. That's why I don’t worry because if you decided that I am worthy of dating you, then why would those people mean anything? You are already enough and every time I get to kiss you, for fucks sake Pink, it all washes away. So let them say shit because I have all the proof I need.”

“You always know what you want Butch. That's what I admire about you.”

“So do you. Maybe sometimes you just need to stop and smell the roses.”

“How sweet.” She kissed his cheek which was now fully dried of tears.

“Only for you Pink.”

As years passed Blossom learned how to bite her tongue more. He taught her to not give, as he said, a single fuck and no one dared to talk about them unless it was with praise. Blossom really did try but a Reds ' patience could only go so far. Whenever someone insulted Bubbles, her husband would not hesitate to snap on them, she understood completely. Maybe that's why having a boyfriend who was cool and calm and just went with the flow was perfect. She could get fired up and he would simply cool her down.

On the flip side, once you made a green mad, it was over and she knew better than to try and stop him. She may have enjoyed watching her boyfriend and sister beat the shit outta nasty reporters a little too much.

She could only take so much and today was proving it.

She was a lawyer and even though her office was filled with highly educated people, she was stuck in the back corner with three other girls who were only there as personal assistants. Then again she was only here temporarily due to her private office being constructed upstairs. Yes, she was that good.

She couldn’t wait to have her own space. It would be nice to have a quiet place to work and if there was an emergency involving robots or monsters, her office had the perfect balcony to fly from so that she wouldn’t disturb her coworkers. But she hated being in that corner.

In the last hour as she was finishing filing all of her neatly done paperwork, the conversation went from lip injections, the new outlet shops, the hottest men in really expensive underwear and now the topic of the ever so light gender bias was upon these ladies.

“Did you see what happened with the actress from the giant squid film?” Haley said. “She got engaged and she was the one to propose to him.” The other two girls gasped as they fixed their nails.

“I just don’t think that women should be allowed to ask her boyfriend to marry her. A man should propose.” The uptight blonde, Peggy said.

“Absolutely not.” Gertrude said. “What do you think Blossom?” All eyes were now on her and she rolled her own before turning in her chair. She felt a headache coming on.

“I don’t see the problem.” She simply stated as she filed another paper neatly. “Good for them.”

“You don’t think it's wrong?”

“Nope.” She didn’t have time for this; she was trying to find her stapler.

All eyes turned to her as the other women who shared the space scoffed. “I highly doubt that your boyfriend would let you.” Gertrude said. Where was it?

Blossom’s left eye twitched and now she turned in her chair to see their faces. “My boyfriend?” She asked with a scolding tone. Fuck the stapler.

“Butch?” Haley scoffed. “Oh he is too prideful to let even Blossom propose. I mean face it Blossom, you are this big successful woman who saves the world and is crazy smart. All he does is listen to your commands. You already wear the pants in the relationship so you should agree that he should be able to make at least this decision.”

The sound of Blossom slamming her filing cabinet echoed through the office. If her man taught her one thing, it was to let the comments slide, but this, this was unacceptable. She had been through the tabloids, the paparazzi and her own “friends” questioning the integrity and well being of Butch. If he could see her rage boiling, he would have told them to “fuck off” and wrap his arm around her shoulder before they went and got smoothies.

But he wasn’t here. She didn’t need him here to defend herself. She let that lid that was secured on her anger to screw loose and fly off. These women could criticize her all they wanted, but not her boyfriend, she wouldn’t allow it.

“My boyfriend is a successful teacher. So he may not have the same degrees as me but he loves teaching his students and also fights to save this city and your sorry asses.”

She turned to them before grabbing her purse. Her stare was as ice cold as the power that trembled in her blood. She never used her power as intimidation against people around her but the way her palms sparked with a hot pink temper, made the ladies shut their lips.

“Before you dare say anything about him, just know one thing. He has done more things in his life than you will ever. He may not be passionate about the same things as me but that does not make him any less of a man or any worthy of dating me. If you are going to slander his name, do it when I am not here because if you saw how much he cares about me, you would be begging to be the one dating him. He is capable of doing whatever he pleases and unlike your failed excuse of a boyfriend Gertrude, his masculinity wouldn’t crumble if I were to ask him to marry me.”

The women were speechless as she turned and watched her walk away.

Blossom could bite her tongue. She could be professional. She could be the perfect everything nice and fake a smile if needed. But she would and always be Butch’s biggest cheerleader. She was proud of him beyond belief when he got his bachelors in forensics science. He went on to help police officers in the labs and two years later got his teaching credentials and taught students about the mess of a murder scene. He loved it. And she loved how happy he was.

So yes, Blossom could bite her tongue, but she could smack a bitch too. Princess Morbucks knew that first hand and had stopped commenting on her relationship.

He heard the door slam with a loud shut and was thankful that he had installed those heavy duty door frames. The amount of heat literally sparking from her body was almost threatening to say the least as she set her bag on the table and he threw one of the glass figures they had on the coffee table into the air and she blasted it with a powerful force from her palm.

He grabbed the small vacuum cleaner and grabbed the glass to make sure it didn’t stay there long. It was a nice routine they had. Get angry, break a glass figure and then drink wine. It worked to say the least.

“Rough day babe?” He asked before setting the vacuum down and walking to their wine cabinet and pulling out two glasses.

She was pacing in the kitchen. That was his sign of knowing that she was about to say something he was going to disagree with or love. He was hoping it was love because watching her all fired up made him slightly tingly and there was nothing better than seeing his lady in control.

She didn’t look at the wine glass placed in front of her. Instead she kept pacing back and forth and he sat on the bar stool and watched. He knew better than to interfere with her thoughts. If she couldn’t think it through, then there was no point. The only time she didn’t run through things is when she kissed him that high school day, he loved that day.

“Blossy?” He asked a minute later and she stopped and looked at him.

Her eyebrows were knit together and she held this look of uncertainty in her eyes, a rare scene. Those vibrant pink iris sparkled as the sunset came through the window. He wanted to say something coy but he also knew when to bite his tongue, she taught him that.

“Would you be threatened if a woman proposed?” She asked.

He was taken back from the question. His shoulders now tensed up but he dropped them quickly as he thought about it. He took a swig of his wine glass and shrugged. “I thought a man was supposed to do that?”

She bit her lip before sighing and grabbing her glass. He thought again for a moment before talking again. “But then again, what's the big deal? I mean if you love them, then it shouldn’t matter who asks.”

She nodded. “I agree.” Her shoulders visibly untensed and she leaned her elbows on the counter before rubbing her head.

“Is that what's bothering you?” He asked before filling her empty glass.

“It's just-” She took a sip. “The stupid women at the office. They said that a man should never allow a woman to be in control of that. That made me angry but then they said you would never let that happen. That I am always in control of you and you should be allowed to make at least that decision.” She felt a chill go through her body as she avoided his gaze. “You don’t think I am controlling, right?”

He made a combination of a snort scoff thing and just rolled his eyes at the statement. “No, you are a leader, Brick is controlling.” She rolled her eyes. “That's a fact.” He pointed out.

“It's just sometimes-” He saw that look in her eyes and interrupted her.

“No, no, no. Don’t do that.” He stood. “Don’t let those nasty hoes have that power over you. So you might have more degrees than me, big whoop. But I’m not some helpless guy who clings onto the success of his girlfriend, that's Boomer’s job.” She ignored the jab at his brother.

“But do you-”

“Blossom.” He came around and lifted her chin up to meet his eyes. “I am so incredibly happy so please don’t worry. Plus.” He stepped closer to her and pulled her close. “When have I ever been one to complain about being controlled by you?” His eyes narrowed and she blushed. “I think it’s hot.” She slapped his arm playfully and buried her face in his chest.

“Those women are dumb.” Her voice was muffled by his shirt.

“Yeah they are. Now have some wine, I’ll be right back.” He left her as he walked into their shared bedroom.

She took a seat at the high counter and grabbed her glass. She popped open the cork and tried to calm down. It wasn’t fair. Neither of them had the upper hand in the relationship. It was never about sizing up the other one, it was equal. Maybe in certain cases she got her way and he got his and maybe, just maybe, she knew how to persuade him. It wasn’t hard considering she could grab his attention with just the removal of her shirt, but that's besides the point.

She grabbed her glass again and chugged. What did those women know anyways? Nothing, that's what.

He came back a few minutes later and sat next to her. Their knees touched as he grabbed his own glass.

“Do you remember what I told you when we first started dating?” He asked.

She raised her brow. “That you wanted to see what was under my skirt?”

His face flushed red as he almost choked on his wine. “No-no.”

“Really because when I asked you out you said and I quote.” She puffed out her chest. “Damn Pinky, I’d be more than happy to be your man because I’ve been dying to see those legs and what's under that skirt.” She said in a deep mocking voice.

“That wasn’t what I said the day you asked me out though”

She giggled. “Maybe, but you said that on our first date.”

“And you let me see.” He said in a cocky tone and she pursed her lips and looked to the side.

“Touche”

He let out a laugh. “But that's not what I meant.” She looked at him and crocked her head to the side.

“Then what?”

“I told you that if you decided that you loved me, that was all the proof I ever needed.”

That small laugh that bubbled from her lips made him smile. She looked at him before nodding her head.

“And not to care what anyone thinks.” she finished and he nodded before leaning over and kissing her forehead.

“Exactly.” He smirked before plopping something down on the counter. She looked towards it with confusion before he pushed it her way. “Go on, open it.”

She took the item in her hands. A soft plush box with a simple golden latch. She knew what it was instantly. Sure they had talked about marriage, they have been together for so long that some people just assumed they had secretly gotten married. They once spent a weekend in Vegas and drunk Blossom said that the 24 hour chapel was just across the street.

She’s thankful that slightly less drunk Butch carried her to the hotel room instead. Marriage has been talked about in serious times and not so serious but at the end of the day, it was something they both wanted.

The top opened and she stared at the giant diamond ring. It’s sharp fragments sparkled in the light and she felt a tug in her throat. “Butch.”

“You care so much what people think, don’t give me that look. I’m right and you know it.” He stated and she continued to look at the precious stone set on a silver band. “But I also know that you love proving people wrong and challenging the odds.”

“I don’t understand.”

The box was set down and her hands were now in his. “When you are ready, I want you to ask me to marry you.” He said simply.

Tears came from her eyes as she looked between him and the ring. “But-”

“But what? It doesn’t matter who asks who. I love you so fucking much that I would be an honor to be asked by you. Imagine turning down the hottest, smartest and bravest woman in the universe. I could never.” he winked.

Her head turned towards the ring and he could see the gears in her head turning. He waited for her answer and was curious about how she would react. He loved that about her. She was constantly full of surprises even when planning it all out.

He grabbed the box and held it to her. “Or if you would like, I would love to ask you to marry me.”

She took the box from him hesitantly. It was a rare sight to see her so unsure of herself. She placed it onto the counter before sliding into his lap and hugging him. “Thank you.” She whispered and his arms came around and tightened around her. “I love you too.”

“Of course Bloss.” He kissed her softly. He stood after they pulled apart and lifted her up with ease. “Now I’m going to show you who's in control.” He whispered into her ear as she let out a giggle.

——

It was a few months later before it happened. She suggested a day trip to anywhere he wanted and she remembered how excited he was about the new beach opening. The warm sun of their skins as they walked down the boardwalk and enjoyed the simple company of each other. It was perfect.

They sat on the beach, the wild crowds had fizzled out leaving them in a quiet bliss as the sunset that was a mix of pinks and oranges sat on the horizon.

She turned towards him and smiled at him. She reached into her bag and he laughed a little.

“Proposal on a beach with a magical sunset? Little cliche even for you.” She only rolled her eyes with a smile.

“Perhaps.” She moved until she was kneeling next to him and placed a box in his hand. She ushered him to open it and it was the same diamond ring set on a silver band, the one he gave her.

“Or maybe it’s a rejection.” He forced out a laugh as her eyes widened in horror.

“No!” She quickly made him get rid of the thought. Instead she held out her own matching box.

The latch popped open and inside was a silver wedding band.

“You told me that you would love for me to ask you, but I’ve always wanted you to ask me. And I thought about it for a long time and instead of it being one of us.” She grabbed his hand. “Why not both of us?”

“So we both propose?” He looked at the pair of rings and back up to her. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

“Alright then.” She bit her lip. Why was she so nervous? It was Butch after all, they had been together for over seven years. She wanted it to be perfect. This moment to be captured just like the movies.

She felt a hand go on her leg and she was pulled out of her trace of thinking. He sat smiling at her and she felt a little embarrassed at how she always got lost in her head.

“Why don’t I start?” He said and she nodded. “Well my love. I spent most of my life thinking no one would ever give a damn about me and when i met you, well it was true since i did try to kill you.” He laughed and she only shook her head with a giggle. “I'm not good with words and you know that so bare with me babe.”

“Anyways when I grew up and got my act together, there was always this blinding light around you. My attention was your the moment I saw you again in middle school. I was always you but I couldn't approach you. I wasn’t worthy of loving you until I became someone I wanted to be. I was so nervous asking you for help that day. Brick told me not to bother but your smile, that damn smile Pink, you were so kind and I just wanted to kiss you right then and there.” He smiled.

“But you know all that.” He huffed. “Ya know people always asked me what my favorite thing about you was. I mean how do you answer that? How do you tell them that everything from her selflessness and bold personality, down to her eyes and her freckles that only show during summer. You can’t. Blossom, you believed in me when no one else did, not even myself and that what i love about you. You never give up and you make people feel safe and cherish. Plus you are so incredibly hot that I could just take you here right now and-you aren't stopping me? You usually stop me when I’m about to say something nasty.”

“It's a special occasion.” She shrugged. “But yeah tell me later.” She winked and he took her hand.

“What I'm trying to say, Blossom, is that I love you. Every up and down is going to have me next to you without hesitation. So Dr.Blossom Utonium.” She smirked at the use of her title. “Would you give me the chance to become the hottest wife the world has seen and allow me to love you for as long as I breath?”

He watched as tears formed in her eyes. “The hottest wife in the world?” She cried-laughed and he wiggled the ring.

“The hottest.”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” She kissed him and he placed the ring on her finger.

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, trying not to ruin her makeup. “Okay my turn.” She grabbed the ring.

“I always know what to do or say but when it comes to you, im left speechless every time. Sometimes I feel like I never know the answer or I'm somehow wrong but if there is one thing I am certain about every single time it's you. My heart guides me without fail and it has always ended up in your hands. Time after time as my sisters were talking about marriage as kids, mostly Bubbles of course.”

“Of course.” He chimed in.

“I wouldn’t add much to the conversation. To be honest, I never thought I would get married, or that anyone would love me. Because no matter who I dated, I was always Blossom. Leader of the Powerpuff Girls and the stuck up smarty pants.” She stopped before taking his hand. “And then I remember when you asked me to tutor you. Those feelings I thought I would never experience happened. You never saw me as the leader, maybe in theory but I was an equal to you and I think that's why it hurt so much when people talked bad about you.” She frowned before sniffing and looking up towards the sky.

“I was already so in love with you as a teen and I didn’t know how people wouldn't adore you that it made me mad. All I ever wanted was for someone to see me as me, and you do.” Her eyes came back down and he was crying. “So Butch Jojo. Will you marry me?” She smiled.

There was no hiding the tears as he held her hand and was practically shaking. “I love you so much Blossom, I can’t even tell you.” He hugged her tightly before kissing her breathlessly. Her own eyes shutting as tears fell and she threw her arms around him and her fingers threaded through his hair. “Yes of course I’ll marry you.” The words were lost on her lips.

The sunset behind them stared at each other and basked in the bliss of being in love. Anyone could say what they want, but there was no denying that the pair loved each other beyond belief.

Blossom could bite her tongue, but she would never stop herself from telling Butch how much she loved him. That was something she could count on.

I hope you enjoyed it!!

#ppg x rrb #powerpuff girls #blossutch #blossom x butch #ppg fanfic #thewritingstar #idk how to tag #ppg #rrb

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seapandora · 4 years

Text

Fierce (Part 1?)

Avengers x oc!Rexy, (I honestly haven´t decided on what the final ship will be if there will be one…, also kinda oc!reader)

A/N: I started writing this as a reader x Steve fic but it just works better with an OC. I tried my best to not be too descriptive. This is sorta following the Avengers movies, not the comics. Probably no mention of the guardians… or maybe of Rocket and Groot but they get a pass in my book. Lastly, Ive got no clue wether this will be a series or not. Depends on how its received. So if you wanna see more, reblog and like. I don't own Marvels characters, this is just a fic, nothing more. Enjoy reading it. Thanx <3

Warnings: Anxiety, Blood, Probably some character-distress, slow burn, probably some character death along the road.

Words: 3019

Steve, oh sorry… Captain America… The world's golden boy and everyone's favorite Avenger. Well, everyone, except the Avengers, favorite Avenger. He was always so correct and he drilled the others quite hard, to the point where they had all thought of ways to take him out. Not that that was an easy task. He was a supersoldier. He had superspeed, superstrength, and well, he was quite agile. Bucky was a good sparring match because he also had the supersoldier serum. Those weren´t the only two with it though. They had a third supersoldier on the team, Rexy. Although the serum was the same as Steve and Buckys, Rexys had been spliced with genome from different animals who possessed certain abilities. While Rexy had no real clue as too how Hydra had created the "improved" serum, she now knew what it contained. Mostly thanks to Bruce, who had taken a blood sample when she was taken to the compound. Turned out she had genomes from a cuttlefish, those genes had proven to give her the ability to blend into any kind of background. She also had genes from a pit viper, which essentially gave her the ability to detect people's heat-signatures.

In all honesty, Rexy was a genetic freak, and it was clear that the scientists had been very keen on the whole Jurassic World deal seeing as the genes they had been using had also been used to create the fictional Indominus Rex. That had essentially gotten Sam to give her the nickname Rexy, and Rexy didn't mind. She had never provided any other name and wasn't about to start now that she had stayed with the team for a few years. It would be weird. Steve had been the first one to approach Rexy when she was found, but she had shied away from him. He had thought he could understand her, but he realized how wrong he was when Bucky told him that it was very different to be injected with something out of free will, compared to being injected against your will. Bucky had started to speak Russian and while Rexy hadn´t understood a word, she knew who Bucky was. She had seen his picture millions of times and had heard how he betrayed and left Hydra. That led to Rexy trusting Bucky to keep her safe. She had never heard of Steve before, only Captain America, and she hadn´t made the connection at that point.

For a while, Rexy didn't speak to anyone, not even Bucky. Mostly because he kept speaking to her in Russian and she didn't understand a word. Eventually one day she had asked to be allowed to make a phone call. She had spoken perfect English and the Avengers had all been frozen in their spots when she spoke up. After that, she was able to bond with each and every one of them in a unique way. She had always been the most comfortable around Bucky and Sam because they never put any pressure on her. The same went with Natasha who had become like an older sister to Rexy. Rexy had also quickly bonded with Peter who had become a very close friend of hers. That lead to the Avengers finding out that she was only four years older than Peter and that she had been taken at the young age of 12. Once they realized that Tony made sure to get her into a homeschooling program that the Avengers would help her with. Bucky and Steve worked with her on history, Sam on current conflicts of the world. Natasha helped her learn computers and programs. Bruce helped Rexy with chemistry and Tony worked with her on physics. Wanda helped her with psychology and Vision provided his knowledge whenever someone lacked information. She had gone through her missed years in just under two years and had applied for college. When she knew she had a spot she talked to Tony to see if he could get her a program she could follow from the compound. She wasn't comfortable around others and just felt the safest when she could be in her own space.

Tony had taken care of it all and Rexy was reading three different programs. She was like Tony, a workaholic and she hated not having something to do, and currently, she wasn't allowed on missions. She had had a bit of a tantrum a few weeks which had resulted in a lot of destruction and Steve with a black eye when he tried to calm her down. Rexy was still extremely embarrassed by the whole ordeal and she hated that she had hurt Steve even if he was completely healed after three days. She hated just thinking about it. Back to her studies, she liked having a lot on her plate and she was studying psychology, chemical engineering, and computer science. She wasn't an overly intelligent human freak, but she was interested and that took her more than halfway to her goal, most of the time. And now that she had a lot of time on her hands she made sure to keep up with everything and not fall behind on her studies. The Avengers all tried to help her, but often Rexy would just stare at them until they shut up, and then she´d kindly say she´d ask for help if she needed it. Mostly she talked to Natasha or Tony about stuff she found hard with her computer science courses, but she often asked Peter as well. They usually did most of their homework together or just sat and studied together.

Today just so happened to be one of those study days. Summer break had just started and technically Peter didn't have to study, however, he was still doing the "Stark Internship" and for his teachers to accept it he had to write a larger report on Starks technics, and how some of them worked. Tony had given Peter some parts that didn't do much for him and that wouldn't be a security risk if it leaked. Not that Peter would ever be that stupid. Rexy would trust Peter with anything. Sure he could be a bit of a talker but he had a pure heart and could challenge Steve for being the kindest and most caring human being on the planet. Or should he be called humanoid? He was part spider after all, right? Rexy was just finishing up an essay she had to write for her chemical engineering. It wasn't that hard, just a lot of work and she had put it off for a few days in favor of spending time with Shuri when she had come to visit. Shuri was of big help as well but seeing as she rarely visited them, she and Rexy rarely had time to talk about school or help each other. Mostly when they called they talked about boys or just T´Challa, Bucky, Sam, and Steve because it was fun to gossip about the old men.

Peter repeated his question and Rexy looked up. "Sorry, I was in a weird zone, care to repeat Pete?" She asked softly and blushed slightly at her antics. She usually didn't space out when someone was talking to her. He laughed but just shook his head. "Don't worry ´bout it. How´s the essay going, need anything? I was going to get something to drink and something to eat, you want anything?" He asked as he stood up. Rexy thought for a moment before she stood up as well. "I´ll just go with you." She answered knowing Peter would most likely forget something and then he´d be mad at himself. This way they could focus on what they wanted for themselves and then help each other back. She was always keeping an extra eye on Peter knowing he did suffer from a bit of anxiety. It didn't help that he was underage and fighting crime. It was a lot of pressure on a teenager. Rexy always figured that everyone stayed strong for her that she would repay them by staying strong for someone so important to them all and be his rock instead of the opposite way around. Yes, Rexy had missed a lot of her life as a teenager, but her years in Hydras´ grip had made her appreciate the small things in life and she didn't take anything for granted. She taught Peter to enjoy life while he still had it. It wasn't something you could get back later on, once you were gone you were gone. Peter had, because of Rexy, started to date MJ and he had started saying no to nightly patrols in favor of spending time with MJ.

Rexy didn't mind Peter spending a lot of time with MJ, she knew she always had him. She also had a lot of other things she had to do rather than think of Peter. She was an Avenger. Well, sort of at least. She hadn´t signed the papers, afraid that she would end up in another organization, like Hydra. She did however work as a consultant for the government. The American, and several other governments as well. She wasn't American by birth and didn't even have American citizenship. Hence why she didn't show loyalty to only the states. She was a freelancing superhero. She snapped out of her second daze in just a short time as Peter stood up and she followed his lead. She had gotten a call earlier during the day and she was leaving for a solo mission in just a few hours but she and Peter had planned this afternoon of studying for some time. Once they were all done she would be leaving though. So far only Natasha knew as she had been around when the call came. Rexy was hesitant to telling Peter she was leaving. Peter always worried about her and he wouldn't be able to relax until she got back and she didn't want that for him. He had a date with MJ the next day and Rexy wanted Peter to enjoy it.

They walked to the kitchen and Rexy got herself a cup of coffee and a soda. She needed the energy for the rest of the afternoon. She also got herself a FlapJack bar, one with summer berries. She waited for Peter to grab what he wanted for the afternoon before they began walking back towards the library. Rexy yawned a bit and hummed. It was a slow day and it made her slow and tired. She was in some weird way looking forward to the sleep she could get on the jet. She enjoyed sleeping on the jet, something about it was soothing. Rexy and Peter sat back down at the table and quickly emerged themselves back into their studying. Rexy began to type on her essay fairly quickly and within minutes she was in a flow. Her essay was actually on nanotechnology as a means of drug delivery in the human body. While Rexy wasn't necessarily supposed to make a case for a certain technology her professor had accepted her request to be allowed to create a drug delivery system that could work, with the help of nanotechnology. It had all been a success and the essay was mostly a discussion about potential issues her mechanic could have and whether it was more effective than traditional drug delivery. She was, in all honesty, very happy with her results and the way the essay was coming along. She was just hoping it would be accepted by her professor and that the reviewers wouldn´t be too harsh, even if that was the point. Rexy didn’t intend for her research to go mainstream and she had no interest in making it a reality. The technology was expensive and few countries would get access to it and in Rexy´s mind, everyone should have the same possibility to acquire the technology or no one should have it. The current techniques were acceptable and working, rich countries didn’t need another way of distributing drugs, not yet at least.

She typed up the last few paragraphs and emailed it to Bruce, who had promised to proofread it and think whether Rexy's arguments would hold or not. She noticed Peter was still stuck on one of his problems and leaned over to get a better look at it. Their relationship was incredible. They didn’t even need to talk to be able to communicate their issues. Rexy could see he was struggling and wanted her help. “Read the problem to me, and I´ll see if I can help.” She said softly and smiled at him as she leaned her head in her hand. “Okay, so… I have to calculate the momentum of a 2000 kilo elephant who´s running at 7.5 meters per second. Compare the momentum of the elephant to that of a 0.0400-kilo dart fired at 600 meters per second. And lastly, I have to calculate the momentum of a 90-kilo human running at 7.4 meters per second.” Peter explained and sighed softly Physics wasn’t his strong suit. The truth was it wasn’t Rexy´s either, but she had taken a course in basic physics just to understand some things that Bruce and Tony would talk about now and then.

“Okay so let's break each question up. The first question was about the elephant's momentum, right? So momentum is the mass times the velocity and you have both of those factors, right?” Rexy said and smiled. Peter nodded and quickly wrote up the equation as meve and continued by adding in the values he already had. Peter used his calculator to do the multiplication of 2000 times 7.50 and got the answer 15 000. “Cool, now let´s write that as a scientific notation instead. “ Rexy said and waited as Peter instead wrote the answer as 1.50 x 104. “And don’t forget what it is you’ve calculated, kg times meter per second.” She added to let Peter know he had to write out the SI-unit. “Okay, now the second question. Let´s calculate that the same way, to begin with, now that you’ve got how to calculate the momentum.” She said and smiled as she took a sip of her drink. It didn’t take Peter very long at all and he waited for Rexy to swallow her drink before he looked at her for help. “So comparing the two momentums… momenta?... oh well. You want to divide the momentum of the elephant by the momentum of the dart. So it will be 1.50 x 104 kg x m/s divided by 24.0 kg x m/s as that was the momentum of the dart.” She explained and pointed to his two previous answers. The more Peter thought of it the less hard this became. Maybe it was just hard because he was thinking of so many other things. He had the date with MJ in his head and he had a few exams coming up in the next few weeks. Peter did the math quickly and got the result 625 as he should. “Great, so if you'd want to put that sensibly for a test or so, you could write that the momentum of the elephant is 625 times the momentum of the dart because the elephant weighs much more than the dart,” Rexy explained with a quick shrug. She didn’t mind Peter asking her for help even if the problem wasn’t that hard. He always helped her with things that turned out to not be very hard.

“So last question. This is the thing you’ve done for both previous questions so why don’t you do it while I save up my file and I´ll check it in 2 minutes?” She asked and smiled at Peter before she turned to her laptop to save her current file and to open the email she had received from Hill with some assignment details. She quickly transferred those files to her file in Friday's head and made sure Friday would lock it up with a password. The password wasn’t that hard, but it was something the others didn’t know about her. Okay maybe Natasha knew, but she knew everything. She checked back in with Peter in precisely two minutes and smiled as he had done it correctly. “You got it.” She said and patted his arm. “Now if the questions get any harder, please don’t ask me, I suck at physics.” She chuckled and closed her laptop. “I gotta go, Pete… I have some stuff to do.” She said and frowned. “Oh, okay Rex. Study sesh tomorrow?” He asked and looked over at Rexy as he too began to pack his things up. “I can´t tomorrow, I´m going out of town for a little bit.” She said and sighed. “I´ll be back by the end of the weekend.” She added and looked at Peter who looked like she had just told him someone had died. “Is it a mission or something?” He asked and frowned. He was always very protective of her even if she was technically older than him. “Yes, but I´m going to be fine Peter. It’s a simple mission.” Rexy assured him. He stood up and hugged her quickly. “Are you going off-grid? Or can you send me updates?” He asked as they hugged. This was the exact reason she hadn´t wished for Peter to know. He would be worried sick and she hated making him worried. “Look, you have a date tomorrow night, and I don’t want you to worry. Hill wants me to be off-grid but I´ll make an exception for you until tomorrow night, okay? You and Tasha are the only ones who know I´m going. You can´t tell Sam or Bucky until later tonight, or they will try to stop me. This is something I, and I alone, have to do.” She explained and kissed Peter's cheek before she let him go to collect her things. Peter sighed but knew better than to argue with Rexy. She was a capable woman who was more than used to her own missions by now.

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negativewriter26 · 5 years

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I’ve been debating for the better part of six months whether or not to post this, because it’s probably one of the most personal things I’ve ever written (definitely the most personal thing I’ve ever written about my aromanticism).

But it’s Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, and now is as good as a time as any. So here it is.

The boy in my English class dislikes almonds in his chocolate.

He prefers dark chocolate to milk, doesn’t like M&Ms of any shape or form, uses pens he finds off the floor, and wants to study mechanical engineering like his older sister who is four years older than him.

I do not know why I know all this.

Or really, I do know. We sit at the same table in class, brushing elbows occasionally as we do group work, and argue about where pink goes in the rainbow. (“Before red,” I say, organizing the mechanical pencils, but before I place the pink one, he takes it and puts it after purple.) We discuss chemistry and precalculus, poring over mathematical problems that define our lives within these walls. We mention how the flutists are bad at marching, causing the other girl at our table to say not all flutists. We talk in the halls, walking past each other to get to class and sharing inside jokes that are just thinly veiled arguments.

Most days I find myself thinking about how this happened. We have nearly nothing in common, because he hates electrochemistry while I love it, and if we hadn’t arbitrarily sat next to each other at the beginning of the year, we wouldn’t have ever talked. We should be strangers, only meant to pass each other in halls, but now we’re something else.

Acquaintances. Friends, maybe. Something more, possibly.

My entire life, I have heard girls talk about boys. Because girls like boys. Because that boy is cute. Because that model is hot. Never have I understood this. I spent years staring at pictures and wondering if I’m missing something. What does hot and cute even mean?

If we were going to talk about attractiveness, why didn’t we talk about girls? Especially that one girl in my third period class with the prettiest hair and excellent taste in music?

We gossiped in P.E. once, sitting in a circle on the football field and whispering amongst ourselves so the others couldn’t hear. One of the girls, two years my senior, discussed her boyfriend and their sex life. Another nodded, agreeing with her on something or another. I sat, hands in my lap, not knowing how they could want to have sex with someone else. I tried to figure out how all of them, five girls in total, excluding me, had boyfriends. Girls are better than guys, was on my tongue. What’s the point of dating? I didn’t say.

Later I find out I am aromantic and grey asexual. Words heavy on my tongue, I tell no one.

One day I find there is more than one type of attraction. Platonic, romantic, and sexual are the most commonly talked about. There's more, like alterous — a type of attraction about wanting emotional closeness that is not entirely platonic or romantic. I think back to the boy in English class, who doesn’t eat French fries and likes grape Jolly Ranchers and plays Bloons Adventure Time TD, and what I feel for him. I don’t think he is cute, even though some people say he is okay-looking, whatever that means. I don’t want to kiss him, even though that’s what most people want to do with people they like. I don’t feel this burning desire to be called his girlfriend or take his last name, even though I think that is what girls think about.

I want to sit on a bench in the shade with him, listening to music together. I want to send him memes at two in the morning, laughing at jokes that shouldn’t be that funny. I want to lean against his shoulder, talking about the homework we have this weekend.

There are no dates, no romance, no flowers. A friend and her significant other who visited from Florida watch movies together while holding hands. My friends in a relationship with each other cuddle in class when nothing is happening and during lunch when they’re tired. My friend receives her favorite flowers from her boyfriend and presses them in books.

It doesn’t sit well in my stomach.

I do not want that. Holding hands in the dark while watching movies repulses me. Cuddling in public or for recreation terrifies me. Receiving flowers of any kind from someone bores me. I do not get those fluttering butterflies around the people I like, only lingering looks and awkward conversations. I do not get those pining thoughts about the people I like, only passing thoughts of oh that’d be nice irregularly.

My attraction is different from others. Even with the boy from English class, the only person I have ever liked this way, I do not get those landmarks. For the first time in my life, I find myself feeling something normal, but it is then ripped away when I realize that I like this boy — a boy that I do not find cute, a boy that I do not want sex with.

He dated someone before, two years ago. A smart girl who loves doing chemistry labs that liked him — actually liked him, unlike what I feel for him — eventually broke up with him when he showed no interest in her. I know that if I ever confess, in a convoluted way that’s only possible with a vocabulary lesson, the same thing will happen to me. The boy I like agrees to date me because we are friends who go over quiz questions and complain about physics together, and eventually I learn he does not like me as much as I like him (or, worse, I cannot like him the way he wants me to), and we break up.

Our relationship will be uneventful. Boring. Mundane.

Then again, I am uneventful. Boring. Mundane. I do not like people, do not want to date anyone, do not want to have sex. I barely even like the person I do like, the first person I’ve ever been intensely attracted to.

Someday we will graduate high school. He will study mechanical engineering. I will forget about him, the boy who dislikes almonds in his chocolate, and my life will go back to being what it was before.

Whatever it was.

#aromantic spectrum awareness week #asaw 2019 #asaw 19 #aromanticism #aromantic #writing #aspec #phoebez #I might delete this later #also this has always been untitled #I'll take suggestions for titles?#I literally have no idea what I could title this

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eleanor-writes-stuff · 5 years

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chemistry (my heart’s a city you’re out to destroy) - [iii/iv]

Kylo Ren - superhuman, mercenary, and the world’s most dangerous man – has recently resurfaced after a mysterious three-month disappearance.

Rey Niima, listicle writer by day and investigative reporter by night, is way too busy to worry about that. Seriously, she’s got a million things on her plate - she doesn’t have the time to think about anything else.

Especially now that news editor Benjamin Snoke has returned to the office and seems hell-bent on making her life… interesting.

This ended up taking me an embarrassingly long time to write, but here it is: the final(ish) chapter of my superhuman!Kylo and reporter!Rey AU.

Will Rey ever come clean to Ben about her many, many secrets? Will she recover from the setbacks to her investigation into the Guavian Death Gang? And most importantly, will she figure out that thing we’ve all been waiting for her to figure out since the beginning?? All this and more in the seven thousand words that await under the cut!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter and Ko-fi?

. . .

The first time Ben calls her sweetheart, she nearly cries.

Everything about the moment – strong arms holding her close, warm lips brushing against her temple, sheer contentment running through her veins – feels like something out of a dream.

But then his words hit her, and so does a painful reminder.

“Good night, sweetheart,” Ben whispers into the night, and the words are right but the voice isn’t – except it is, he is, they’ve been dating for a month now and she’s never felt so sure about anything in her life–

Only sometimes she isn’t, and the guilt turns her blood to ice and taints everything with paranoia. For one terrible moment Rey is convinced Ben will somehow catch sight of her stricken look despite the absolute darkness in his room, will suspect that she’s still mourning a relationship that never happened with a man she never knew.

She hides her face in his neck before that can happen, presses a kiss to the hollow of his throat and focuses on nothing but the comforting familiarity of his scent, his arms wrapped around her, his chest moving up and down in time with hers. This, this is better than a hundred dreams of a faceless man, better than any hallucination she could’ve come up with or future she could’ve imagined. Ben is real, and here, and hers, and–

That night she dreams of Kylo anyway, the way she has nearly every single night since the last time she saw him, since the last time anyone had seen him.

He’s alive, that much she knows. After all, her gut feeling had been right about that the last time.

But anything beyond that gets added to the growing mountain of mysteries standing in her way. He’s proving to be just as elusive as the Guavian Death Gang, scattered to the winds after the attack on the Outpost. Gang rivalry, the police tell her with a shrug and advise her to let go of it; dead end, Amilyn declares a week after the explosion and gently suggests she move on to something new.

The problem is, Rey’s never been any good at letting go of anything – not her parents, not her target, not her… her friend.

All of it weighs so heavily on her that two days after the sweetheart thing, as she’s taken to calling it in her mind, Rey finds herself coming clean to Ben - about half of the situation, at least.

“So… I’ve got a meeting with Amilyn next Tuesday,” Ben announces halfway through dinner, the both of them seated at his breakfast nook. “We might be doing some spring cleaning.”

“Budget cuts?” Rey hazards a guess through a forkful of beef and broccoli, long past the point of self-consciousness. It’s hard to bring herself to care about her table manners around a man who’d already seen her at her worst on their very first date, eyes swollen and cheeks splotchy after an unexpected walk down memory lane.

Granted, his eyes had been a little red-rimmed as well as they spent the rest of the evening bonding over being adopted, but still.

Ben had decided to accept her that night, runny nose and all, and she’s already warned him there’s no taking it back.

“No, no, we’re good,” Ben assures her instead of chastising her for speaking with her mouth full, and a silly, lovesick part of Rey sighs internally and thinks yeah, we are. “It’s just… I don’t see the point in keeping people who just sit at their desks all day and repackage AP updates. I mean, I know that’s the bulk of what we do,” he concedes wryly, “but… show some initiative, you know? These people are luckier than what, 80% of their fellow journalism majors? You’re working for a news department with a global readership. Some show drive, for fuck’s sake. Some talent.”

She’s happily nodding along, primarily focused on her food, until–

“Like yours.”

It’s the first time he’s actually brought the matter up since that unexpected confrontation in the office all those weeks ago. Sure, there have been teasing comments here and there about her listicles, and he laughs along with the rest of his team when Phasma breezes out of the downstairs breakroom with stolen snacks in hand and coolly announces to the office that she’s going back up because some of them have real work to do around here, but Ben hasn’t actually brought up her qualifications since that first time.

“Babe…” she sighs, hoping to dissuade him from the topic. Lately it feels like all Rey does is lie – lie to the cops about why she was looking into the Outpost, lie to Amilyn about working on a new story, lie to Ben and her friends and everyone about Kylo Ren – and she’s so, so tired of it, especially where Ben is involved.

But he presses on. “Rey, I don’t get it. I’ve read your work, sweetheart. I know how brilliant you were even when you were just an undergrad writing for the student paper, and every single investigative piece you’ve written since then has only gotten better.”

She pushes one last piece of broccoli around her plate while Ben reaches across the table for her free hand.

“Look, your life is yours to live and I respect your choices, but I just don’t understand…”

And that’s just… that feels wrong, somehow. Ben always understands, has understood since the very first moment she opened up to him more than she’s ever done with anyone else, and for this of all things to stand between them is more than Rey can take.

“I’m investigating the Guavian Death Gang,” she blurts out before she’s even aware of her decision to come clean.

At Ben’s wide eyed look and complete silence, she feels compelled to add, “Well, at least I was. But then the Outpost blew up and I haven’t gotten any good leads since so I’m not really sure–”

He snatches his hand back.

“Do you have a death wish?” Ben demands, hissing the last two words at her as he lunges forward in his seat and curves over half the table. “Jesus Christ, Rey, I figured you were going after that lowlife Plutt and his henchmen or something, but the fucking Gang itself? Do you know what they do to people who ask questions? Do you know what they do to people who so much as look at them the wrong–?”

“Hey, hey!” She leans in to meet Ben halfway and take his face in her hands. “Hey. Calm down. Breathe, Ben. Okay? Just breathe, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Everything won’t change the fact that you’re going to get yourself killed,” he huffs at her, but sits back in his chair and quiets down anyway.

Rey crosses her arms. “Stop that, okay? I know it’s risky, I know what I’m getting myself into, but this is my job, Ben. And it’s not like I’m recklessly rushing in, guns blazing–”

“No, you’re just casually hanging around their secret headquarters,” Ben mutters.

He’d only ever seen her there once, Rey wants to remind him, and who’s to say that wasn’t the only time? Besides, she still doesn’t know why he was in the area too that night. But given the ridiculous lie Ben had come up with the first time she’d asked, Rey doubts she’ll be getting an answer out of him anytime soon.

“Eight months ago, a girl I knew from one of my old foster homes contacted me,” Rey begins carefully, gathering her thoughts as she goes. “You know the stats – older kids don’t tend to get adopted. I got incredibly lucky when Maz picked me; Namenthe wasn’t as fortunate.”

It still sends chills down her spine sometimes, when she thinks of how unbelievably lucky she got, how easily her life could have been something else entirely.

Ben has softened now, one hand on the table twitching as if instinctively reaching for her. Rey reaches for it and gives him a small smile before she continues.

“When she aged out of the system, she started dancing at the Outpost. It’s not great, but apparently Plutt’s more of a greedy asshole than a sleaze, so she stayed put – until some of the other girls started disappearing. They were the ones dating the gang members, the ones who knew too much from one too many drunken rambles. Namenthe packed up and ran away as soon as she could, but before she disappeared for good she left me all this information. And I… Ben, I couldn’t just do nothing,” Rey tells him beseechingly, willing him to understand.

He sighs and squeezes her hand. “Of course you couldn’t.”

Rey nods. “I was freelancing at first, but then Amilyn called me in for an interview and convinced me to tell her what I was working on. She offered me a spot on your team immediately, but I told her I wanted to get to the bottom of this first – and that would be difficult if I were to join Raddus’ very recognizable news team.”

“Undercover,” Ben murmurs to himself, voice stunned into a whisper. “All this time, the listicles and sponsored posts and all that bullshit… You were undercover.” He looks at her with something akin to awe.

“Sure,” Rey agrees easily, slightly amused by the idea. “Let’s call it that. So now do you understand?”

Ben stares at her for the longest time before his free hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. “This is so ridiculously reckless and dangerous but… yeah,” he says heavily, dragging a hand down his face before he looks back at her. “Yeah, I get it.”

Rey gives his hand one last squeeze before she gets up and starts gathering plates and boxes. “In any case, it hardly matters anymore. They went underground after the blast, and Amilyn’s been telling me it’s high time to drop it and move on, so–” She shrugs as she crosses the kitchen to stash their leftovers in the fridge.

When she turns around, Ben is right there, close enough for her to stumble into. He grabs her by her waist and steadies her with two warm hands curled around her hip, eyes dim even as his lips quirk into a small smile.

“As if you would ever give up on something that easily,” Ben says with a quiet little laugh. He really does know her better than he has any right to, and she smiles at the reminder. “Just… please,” he murmurs as the smile slips off his face, replaced by a look so earnest and soul-searching it hurts, to be looked at like something important, something loved.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful. I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you, Rey.”

The warmth in her chest turns to ice. This is… this is a hundred times worse than the sweetheart thing, words so close to the ones that still haunt her dreams in a mechanical rasp–

Rey opts for her go-to strategy of hiding her face in Ben’s neck before her shiny eyes or trembling lips can give her away, wraps her arms around his waist and melts into him as she wills herself to focus on this moment and this moment only.

Ben mistakes her cowardice for reluctance, holds her tighter as his pleas grow desperate. “Please, Rey. Promise me, just promise me you’ll be careful–”

She doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve him – not when her own traitorous heart is still being torn in two directions.

“I promise,” she whispers into his neck, lips brushing against the frantic beat of his pulse, proof of his care and concern tangible in a way it never was with…

Rey closes her eyes and banishes the thought, holds Ben so close there’s no space for ghosts between them.

“I promise, baby.”

. . .

Two weeks later, Maz comes through as she always does.

“I don’t like this, child,” she warns even as she slips a scrap of paper across the sticky bar top. “I don’t like this one bit.”

“I know, Maz,” Rey says quietly as she pockets the lead.

Her former foster mother pins her with a warning glare for all of two seconds before she sighs and allows the tension to drain away. “But I know that won’t stop you. Nothing ever could.”

Rey smiles and leans across the bar to pull the older woman into a hug. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“That’s all I ask for,” Maz whispers as she pulls back. She gives Rey a small smile and gently pats her cheek. “Off you go now, my curious cat.”

The old nickname threatens to choke her up, but Maz stops her tears before they even make it to the surface.

“And make sure you’ve got that tree of a boyfriend with you the next time I see you! Reminds me a little bit of a tree I used to climb when I was your age,” Maz tells her with a wink, and sends her on her way with a good laugh.

Ben probably wouldn’t have let her go as easily, but he just so happens to have another after-hours meeting with Amilyn today as they continue to restructure the news team. There’s not much he can do through text other than remind her of her promise, and Rey assures him that she hasn’t forgotten and that tonight will be completely safe, just some quick and harmless reconnaissance. With any luck, she might even beat him back to his place.

After all, this shouldn’t take too long. Maz had used the underground connections she pretends not to have in order to figure out a date and location for the gang’s first meeting since the attack, and it’s widely expected that some key players will be in attendance tonight.

As impatient as the six-week pause in her investigation has left her, Rey knows better than to run headfirst into a dangerous situation in an unfamiliar setting. So for tonight she’s back to her stakeout ways, hiding across the street as she keeps an eye on the Cantina and takes note of familiar faces illuminated by the neon signboard for all of five seconds before they disappear down the stairs leading to an underground jazz club.

Something feels off for the first thirty minutes, and Rey tells herself it’s just her sense of self-preservation belatedly kicking in, links her unease to putting herself back into a dangerous situation. It isn’t until the third time she throws a look over her shoulder that she realizes she’s waiting on a ghost, so used to another body crouched next to hers in the dark, another voice whispering exasperated warnings–

Don’t know how I’d live with myself if–

Now is not the time.

Who knows what kind of security the gang has in this new haunt of theirs, especially in the wake of the attack on the Outpost? Rey casts pointless memories out of her mind with a violent shake of her head, replaces them instead with images of Ben pacing his living room, Ben pinching the bridge of his nose, Ben clutching his phone close and waiting for her, worrying for her.

Don’t know what I’d do if–

Something stirs in the back of her mind – a half-formed thought weaving between reality and dreams, a tenuous connection waiting to be made with two pins and red string. But it’s ripped away from her, a forgotten thought that won’t come back to her no matter how hard she tries, when yet another sleek black car pulls up to the club. Rey picks up her binoculars just in time to catch the faintest glimpse of yet another man disappearing into the ground, and tries her best to match what little she’d seen to one of the many faces on the print-out crumpled in her fist.

It takes her a while to connect a jagged sliver of skin to a much angrier-looking scar from last year, but with that she’s crossed off the last name on her list. All twelve known members of the gang’s inner circle are present tonight, probably gathered right under her feet.

The night is still young, and there’s a restless, impatient part of Rey that itches to sneak down the stairs, find a dark corner to nurse a drink in and cast inconspicuous glances– but her promise to Ben weighs heavy on her heart, and again the image of him worrying about her flits through her mind. Besides, she’s achieved what she came here to do, and now that she knows for sure the gang meets here, there’ll be other opportunities, other days, maybe even with Ben as back-up…

Nothing out of place with a young couple checking out a cozy little jazz club, right?

With that plan in mind, Rey sets to packing her things up and slowly retracing her steps, electing to crawl along the row of hedges that’ll cover her until she makes it to the other end of the street. All in all, it’s been a good night, productive and safe and not at all concerning–

Until her ears pick up the distinctive whoosh of a heavy cape fluttering down from the sky, until her eyes catch a flash of black and steel and–

Kylo.

Kylo, who’s just disappeared down the very stairs at least a dozen dangerous, heavily-armed men treaded before him. Kylo, who hasn’t been flanked by his knights in months. Kylo, who might be more than human but is still alone, one man against a dozen who’ve done things that keep even Rey up at night–

Rey gets to her feet and crosses the street before she can even talk herself out of it, before she even knows she’s come to a decision. The flashing, buzzing neon sign gives her pause, blinds her for a moment as it advertises The Cantina and Live Music Downstairs. As Rey tries to blink neon pink out of her eyes, a face sears itself onto the back of her eyelids.

Ben.

Ben pacing, Ben worrying, Ben with tears in his eyes and a hitch in his voice and his broad shoulders curled in on himself–

“I’m sorry, baby,” Rey whispers to herself, and swallows the rest of her words down with the lump in her throat as she begins her descent into the underground. In the space between the stairs and the entrance, hidden from the outside world by heavy velvet curtains, she bends down and retrieves a switchblade from her right boot. It’s warm from being strapped to her leg, and the weight is comforting in her palm until Rey slips both the blade and her hand into her jacket pocket.

Fingers still curled around the weapon – a gift from Kylo so many moons ago, ironically enough, because you never know when to quit, Ms. Niima – and shoulders filled with tension, Rey draws in one last fortifying breath and forcefully pushes her way past the curtains into a room barely visible thanks to dim lighting and thick smoke.

It takes longer than it should for her eyes to adjust, for her to realize there’s no jazz in the jazz club, no lively music or low murmurs or faked laughter, for her to see patrons and staff alike huddled in a corner and shaking like leaves in a storm.

“What…” Rey can’t hear herself over the blood roaring in her ears, the heart thumping in her chest. She steadies herself, tightens her grip around the hidden blade, and tries again. “What’s going on here?”

It’s an elderly woman who finds the courage to speak while everyone else seems to curl in on themselves even more than before, making themselves as small and quiet as possible in the darkened room. “It’s the Rens,” she whispers, voice faint and shaky but made audible through sheer resolve. “One of them, at least. He said to stay down, stay quiet, and stay out of the way, and then he disappeared behind the stage.” A trembling hand slowly pulls itself away from her lap to direct Rey’s attention to even more curtains behind the raised platform full of abandoned instruments, and even all the velvet in the world can’t muffle the gunshot that rings out from behind those curtains at that exact moment.

It rips through the air and cuts through the silence like butter, lodges itself in Rey’s heart just as it leaps into her throat.

Kylo always, always uses silencers.

“Stay here,” she warns the crowd, now even paler than before as they all try to recover from the sound; one man has blood on his lips, from where he’d bitten down to keep in a startled cry. “It’s going to be okay, I promise,” Rey adds, unconvincing even to her own ears, but the others don’t contradict her as she rushes across the floor and carefully parts the heavy curtains.

The stage is set up mere feet away from the wall, curtains and cinderblock creating a narrow hallway behind the velvet. A neon EXIT sign draws her eyes down one end, while a sliver of light beckons from the other. The trail of bodies – knocked out or worse; Rey doesn’t want to consider that right now – seem to lead towards the light, and so that’s the direction she slowly heads towards until she’s close enough to press her ear against a closed door.

She can barely make out the words from beyond the heavy oak door, but the terrible gurgling sound that punctuates every other word comes through loud and clear.

“You… traitor…” the gurgling man spits, his words so slurred they’re nearly indecipherable.

Another voice reaches her ears, and Rey nearly sags against the door in relief. “You disobeyed my direct orders,” Kylo replies in a voice as cold and sharp as the winter air, and all it does is fill her up with warmth. “I’m in charge now. And when I say shut it down, I mean it.”

A sickeningly wet sound follows – laughter, Rey realizes; the laughter of a man choking on his own blood and breathing his last breath. “Your father… was right,” the man wheezes in his last moments. “You are weak–”

He’s cut off by a sharp snap, and his final words haunt the abrupt silence that follows. Moments pass as Rey desperately gulps down one deep breath after another, her throat growing tighter with every fallen body she counts in the hallway as that undeniable snap echoes in her ears.

A pained groan finally snaps her out of it.

“Kylo!” she calls out as she knocks on the door, alerting him to her presence as one hand curls around the doorknob, the other still lodged deep in her pocket. “Kylo, don’t shoot, it’s me–” Rey announces as she flings the door open only to find him leaning against a wall, his breathing ragged as one hand clutches at his side.

“Oh god,” Rey whimpers, picking her way across a sea of bodies to reach him. “What happened? Are you okay? God, Kylo, why are you even here all alone, this was so ridiculously stupid of you–”

His laugh turns into a sharp gasp as Rey bats his hand away from his side and replaces it with both of hers. “That’s rich, coming from you–” he retorts, only to fall silent when she sobs at the sight of her blood-stained hands.

He’s dressed in all black as usual, the big dumb overgrown goth villain, and she can’t… she couldn’t even see it, before this, can’t tell now how much blood he’s losing or how bad it is.

“We need to get you to a hospital–”

Black gloved hands curl around hers. “No. No hospitals,” Kylo implores her with a weak squeeze.

She can barely see that stupid mask of his through the tears swimming in her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, you’re going to bleed out–”

He shakes his head at the panicked stream of words tumbling past her lips, squeezes her hands again. “Rey. Rey. I’ll be okay, I promise. I just need to get the bullets out, and everything will be okay.”

“But–”

There are so many bodies on the ground. So many, and for each of them at least one gun by their side. Superhuman or not, even Kylo can’t–

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, and she blinks away her tears to look into the empty, cold depths where his eyes should be. “I’m going to be fine, I swear. I just… I need you to not be here for this part, okay?”

Sweetheart, he calls her, in a voice so low and familiar that her mind itches for those two pins and a length of red string again, for the two dots she can’t even identify, let alone connect. But she’s reminded of more pressing matters at hand when her bloody fingers slip from his grasp.

“What part?”

A sigh crackles through his modulator. “The part where I dig bullets out of myself.”

Her stomach, already weak from the past twenty minutes, threatens to turn against her at the thought.

It must be obvious – or maybe she’s turning green – because Kylo seizes on this opportunity to push her away. “It’s not going to be pretty, Rey. Just… I need you to go and get those people out, okay? Can you do that for me, sweetheart? Get them all upstairs and call the cops. And then go home, Rey.”

That chases the nausea off quite effectively. “No,” Rey says fiercely, steps closer to erase the distance he’s trying to put between them. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Rey, please–”

“No,” she insists, staring down the soulless steel hiding his eyes from her. “I’m going to get those people out, and then I’m coming back for you. And one of them can call the cops while you and I get the hell out of here.”

Kylo remains silent, and she remains stubborn, unwavering as she continues to glare at his dumb mask and will him into submission just this once.

It would be easy, to do as he says. To turn her back on him now and go help all those people instead, to climb into her car and go home to Ben, Ben who’s probably worried sick by now, Ben whose eyes and voice and heart she actually knows, Ben who actually deserves this kind of care and concern from her.

But Rey never does the easy thing, and they both know it.

“You really don’t know when to quit,” Kylo finally relents with another crackly sigh.

Rey- Rey laughs. It surprises them both, the shaky, wet sound that rips past her lips as she reaches for his hands. “You know me. Now, what’s the plan?”

He takes one of her hands and points out a large bookcase on the other side of the room. “There’s a tunnel, right behind that. Not the most original, I know,” Kylo says wryly, beating her to it, “but it’ll work.”

Their joined hands fall down somewhere between them, and when Rey turns back to him she knows he’s looking at her. “I’ll wait for you here.”

She nods and lets go of him. “I’ll be back soon. And I swear to god, Kylo, if you’re not here when I come back–”

It’s like something out of a dream, watching him peel off a glove to curve a pale, warm palm over her cheek. “I would never do that to you,” Kylo whispers, vows, and–

Even if Rey’s never seen his eyes, even if she’s never heard his voice… in that moment Rey remembers that she does know his heart just as she knows Ben’s, knew it long before she ever met Ben.

With guilt wrapped around her like a noose, she takes Kylo’s hand in her own and presses a kiss to his palm.

“Be back in a minute,” Rey promises, and rushes out of the room without looking back.

. . .

It takes closer to ten minutes than one to herd all the terrified people upstairs and pass on instructions, but Rey rushes back down as soon as the first 911 call is made. The hidden tunnel won’t stay hidden for long once first responders swarm the place, but all they need is a head-start.

Kylo is waiting for her by the secret entrance when she comes back, the bookcase pushed aside just enough to allow the both of them through.

“Ready to make a run for it?” he asks, holding out a hand. His gloves are nowhere to be found.

Rey laces their fingers together, smiles as she feels his warmth seep into her skin. “With you? Always.”

She thinks he smiles back at her, wishes she could see it, but– baby steps. He lets go of her hand to pull the bookcase back into place, and Rey has the foresight to reach for her phone and turn on her flashlight just as the bookcase blocks out all light and leaves them in total darkness.

He doesn’t reach for her again as they begin walking, but Rey… Rey shakes away the phantom weight of Ben’s hand to seek the comforting warmth of Kylo’s. She laces their fingers together just as the tunnel widens and a faint light comes into view, welcoming them to the old subway tracks the city abandoned decades ago.

Funny, how his hand in hers feels just right, how his palm curves around her cheek just like–

Two pins fall into her waiting arms, with the elusive red string just out of reach.

“Kylo… how did you know I was going to be here tonight?”

“I didn’t,” he says easily, quickly, and Rey might even believe him if not for the little voice in her head that’s growing louder and louder, echoing words and promises and weird dreams she’s always dismissed as wishful thinking.

Rey stops and lets go of his hand, crosses her arms over her chest and waits until he stops as well. “The timing is too coincidental,” she argues, heart hammering in her chest even as her mind reaches and reaches for that goddamn string, for some way, any way, to make sense of it all, to make it possible. “And there are never any coincidences with you.”

He keeps his back turned, shoulders tense even as he drops his head. “What are you suggesting, Rey? That I walked into that jazz club and singlehandedly took down the most dangerous syndicate in this country because I was sick and tired of watching you put yourself in danger around them?”

She doesn’t bother to acknowledge the obvious truth. “Only two people knew,” Rey says instead, backing him into a corner. “Only two people in the world knew I’d be here tonight.”

Maz could’ve told him. She’s never mentioned Kylo Ren, never even hinted at possibly knowing him, but Rey honestly wouldn’t be surprised to find out that her foster mother has a direct line to the city’s protector.

And of course there’s always the extremely unlikely possibility that Ben’s the one who knows Kylo, that he called in a favor or begged for help or maybe just collaborated with Kylo to keep her safe.

But if Ben had even the slightest inkling of what had happened tonight, he’d be here. He’d be here with her, holding her hand, making sure she gets home safe and sound–

And finally, finally Rey accepts the connection there, reaches for the red string and binds the two men in her life into one.

Kylo still hasn’t said anything.

“Take off your mask,” she whispers to his back as her shaking hand reaches for his shoulder.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t turn, doesn’t show even the slightest reaction to her request or her fingers digging into his skin. He won’t even look at her.

“Goddamn it, Kylo!” Rey snaps, reaching out with both hands to turn him around and force him to face her. “Take off that stupid mask!”

Even now, he’s not looking at her. She can tell, she can always tell. “It’s not stupid,” he says weakly, what little humor he must’ve infused his words with lost to the mechanism of his modulator.

All this time wondering what that godawful piece of machinery was hiding from her, only to find out it’s the same voice that whispers sweet nothings into her ear on lazy mornings and breathes devoted promises into the hollow of her neck late at night, when he thinks she can’t hear him promising her a future together, a lifetime with each other.

“It is,” she growls. “It’s stupid, all of it, and I’ve always hated it – the mask, the modulator, everything. I hate that I can never tell if you’re smiling. I hate that I spent two years not knowing what your eyes look like. I hate that I can never tell if you mean any of the things you tell me–”

He reaches for her then, with the same hands that hold her close at night.

“I do, I always do. Rey, everything I’ve ever told you–”

She shakes her head, pulls her hands out of his when she thinks of all the things he didn’t tell her.

Rey closes her eyes, holds herself tight the way she wishes she could let him hold her now. And with the very last bit of energy she has left in her, she takes a leap.

“Take off the mask… Ben.”

For one terrible, quiet moment, she thinks he’s not going to do it, thinks he’s going to lie to her face. But then his shaking hands reach for the mask, and it feels like something out of a dream when there’s a hiss as he reaches behind his neck and undoes the complex mechanism, breaching the seal connecting his helmet to the collar of his stealth suit.

But then he falters, trembling fingers curling around the helmet so tightly his knuckles go white.

“Rey, I…”

The modulator must’ve been deactivated along with everything else, because the voice that pierces her heart is undeniably Ben’s. Ben’s, and small, and scared.

So Rey takes that final step for the both of them, closes the distance and replaces his hands with hers. She traces her eyes over every familiar, beloved feature as it’s revealed, full lips and tall nose and whiskey eyes that she knows better than her own.

The mask drops to the ground with a clang that echoes throughout the tunnel, but neither of them react, still lost in each other’s eyes, in their own little world.

“Why?” Rey asks when her tears obscure her vision for the second time that night.

Ben tries to speak once, twice, and then like an avalanche it all comes crashing down. “I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I fucked up, I know I did, but everything I did, everything I’ve ever done, Rey, I did it because I love–”

“Don’t,” she warns him sharply, steps back and points a shaking finger at him. “Don’t you dare. Two years, Kylo,” she snarls at him even as she finally gives in to her tears. “Two years of waiting, of wondering, of thinking it was all in my head and you could never, would never– and now, now when I’ve finally moved on, this? Now when I’m finally happy again, you tell me it was a lie all along? You tell me I’ve been drowning in guilt for nothing? You tell me you love me?”

It seems wrong, for a man like Ben – like Kylo – to hang his head and look so utterly defeated. “It was never meant to be a lie.”

She waits. She’s been waiting two years for this story, after all.

“I knew…” He stares at his hands, curls his fingers into fists and sets his jaw before he looks up at her and softens all over again. “I knew I was doomed the second I met you. You were the most infuriatingly reckless, persistent, stubborn, brave, beautiful, brilliant person I’d ever met, and I wanted to kiss you until my lungs ran out of air, until I couldn’t remember a time before you.”

Two years, Rey has to remind herself to refrain from throwing herself at him right then and there. Two years of them both feeling the same way and torturing themselves over it because of him.

Ben blows out a shuddering exhale, runs a hand through his hair in a manner so familiar to her it makes her heart ache.

“But… things were different, back then. Dangerous, for both of us.”

Rey throws him a bone. “Your boss?” she guesses.

He shakes his head, hesitates for a second before he looks at her. “My father.”

After everything Ben’s whispered to her late at night, after everything Amilyn’s said about his relationship with his father, Rey can’t even bring herself to feel shocked.

“It was bad enough that we were starting to strike out on our own, getting less and less obedient with every mission he sent us on,” Ben explains. “If he knew– if he so much as suspected that you were the cause for that, if he thought you were a weakness he could turn against me…”

There’s something haunted in his eyes, something that scares a man she’s never known to fear anything.

“I couldn’t let that happen, Rey. I couldn’t let you get close enough for him to find out.”

She wants to accept it, wants that to be enough, but–

“He’s been dead for months, Ben.”

Months and months, most of which she’s spent fearing he’d abandoned her or worse.

“It took a while to settle his affairs,” he says vaguely, and there’s enough discomfort there to keep her from prodding. “And I was going to look for you right after, I was going to tell you everything as soon as I came back, but–”

Suddenly it all falls into place. “But then you saw me at work.”

Ben sighs and drops his gaze to the ground. “There you were, and I was not prepared. Part of me thought it had to be a dream, seeing you in broad daylight and holding you in my arms without those stupid gloves in the way… I freaked out. Next thing I knew I’d fucked it all up as usual.”

“You were a total asshole,” Rey agrees, softening the blow with a tentative smile as Ben looks up.

“From there it just… spiraled. I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t do anything until you knew my true identity, until you had all the facts and could make an informed decision. But after that first day I was so sure you hated me, Ben-me, and I knew I’d never be able to live with myself if I tricked you into something. So that day in the breakroom, when I saw a chance…”

“You took it.”

“I did,” Ben nods as he hesitantly holds out a hand, and the smile he gives her when she takes it is so fragile, so small, but it’s also everything, the way he looks at her in that moment, eyes soft with fondness. “And you surprised me, like you always do.”

She keeps her hand in his, but Rey can’t find it in her to smile back at him. Not when there’s still so much to go over, not when she still has to know– “But why didn’t you tell me then? Why didn’t you tell me all this time we’ve been together?”

“Things were going so well, I was scared to fuck it up,” he murmurs, and she knows exactly what he means, knows exactly how it feels to have something so good and perfect, too good and perfect, drop into your lap and live with the constant fear that it’ll disappear just as easily and suddenly as it appeared. “Besides,” Ben goes on, “you’d said it yourself: Kylo Ren was a fantasy. A nice dream, and nothing more. So I thought… I thought maybe that’s all it ever was to you, maybe you were happy with just me after all. And the next time we met, when you told me you were seeing someone… it felt like you’d made a choice, and it was a choice I was happy to live with. So I let Kylo Ren die.”

There’s so much they’ll have to go back and hash out, so much for her to pick at in just that one sentence about Kylo being nothing but a fantasy for her, but not now. Not today.

“Until tonight,” Rey says instead, leaving the rest for some other day.

“Until tonight,” Ben echoes, free hand tugging at his hair in agitation. “I just… I know how dangerous these guys are, Rey. They reported back to Snoke. I know everything they’ve done, and the thought of you getting anywhere near that…” His fingers twitch in her hand, and he pauses for a moment to collect himself. “I gave the order for them to shut down months ago, when I was handling the rest of Snoke’s affairs, but they refused.”

He meant well, she knows. Just like he meant well by keeping her in the dark, just like he meant well by putting Kylo Ren to rest, but– Rey can still see that trail of dead bodies, can still hear the snap of the gurgling man’s neck.

“So you killed them all,” she says quietly, looking at their joined hands rather than him.

Ben rests his other hand over hers, engulfing her between hands that have more blood on them than she might ever know. “And I’d do it all over again,” he tells her without hesitation, voice low and scratchy, “if it means you’re safe.”

It’s too much, it’s all just too much, and she can’t help but say so.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmurs again and again as he draws her close and holds her tight. “I’m so sorry, I know I fucked up, I’m sorry–”

Rey wraps her arms around him in return and sighs as she allows herself to feel the full brunt of tonight’s events. “You said everything you’ve done, you’ve done for me. For… love.”

A strange thing, love. Life-ruining, even, if not handled correctly.

“I did,” Ben says. “Everything, Rey, it’s all for you, one way or another. Because I love–”

She shakes her head, snakes one hand up to silence him with a finger pressed against his lips. “Not yet,” Rey whispers against his heart. “I don’t want to hear you say it yet. Not after all of this, not before we’ve worked through it.”

This time, they’re going to handle it correctly.

Ben takes the hand hovering close to his lips, presses a kiss to it. “Not yet,” he concedes quietly, with all the contrition of a boy begging for forgiveness and all the hope of a man willing to make amends, “but someday?”

Someday sounds acceptable.

Someday sounds like a promise.

“Someday,” Rey agrees, and lets him walk her home that night.

. . .

This is about two months late, but it's also nearly twice the length it should've been so... yay for extra content?

In all seriousness, I'm so sorry for the delay. I love this fic dearly, but writing it has been oddly challenging. And my mind did this neat thing where the longer I put it off, the more intimidating it became to tackle. Fun! I think it's pretty obvious that I struggled with this chapter, but I hope it turned out decent at the very least. And as for that weak ending - I rewrote it at least fifteen times and am still not pleased with it, but at least we'll have an epilogue this weekend to (hopefully) make up for it!

Thank you to those still reading after that unforeseen hiatus from hell, and as always please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment!

#reylo #rey x ben #kylo ren/rey #rey/kylo ren #rey/ben solo #star wars #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #fic: chemistry #my fics

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yeoldontknow · 5 years

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kat! love your all your fics you're an amazing writer! can you share some writing tips for amateur writers out here?

hi anon writing advice tag if youre looking for like...more specific answers? when it comes to writing, its a very subjective experience when it comes to finding inspiration, outline style, word choice, etc but theres a few things i think across the board are important to remember.

going under a cut to not clog dashes

- consume as much media as you can. ex: books, music, film etc. i know for me personally im most inspired when im consuming art. i literally cannot write without music, like its genuinely so difficult because i pace my writing against the soundtrack of each scene. and the filtering, editing, and direction style of films/tv series i like will influence, in some manner, how the fic looks in my mind. yes, your plot and characters are found/uncovered in your brain and heart, but these other mediums assist in your interpretation of how youd like to express it and will help inspire the way you describe certain things. so dont be afraid to step back from a doc to consume other forms of art. for me, at least, its really important.

- keep writing and dont let yourself stop. once you decide you want to write a fic or drabble or whatever comes to mind, write it. and once that is done, write more. this is how you develop a style. you will notice the more you practice, the easier it gets. OR you will notice the more you write, the more evolved your writing becomes. this is how you form a style. here is an example:

an excerpt from a series i was writing in 2011 in a different fandom:

No one tells you what it’s like to go insane. No one talks about it because, we, as a society, understand the chemistry and the biology of it, but we don’t understand the feeling of it. Time had started to compress, slipping around me in a computerized metronome of blood flow and heart beats that had started to tell me nothing except that I was still living. They hadn’t strapped me to the bed, but I still couldn’t leave and everything about the room started to feel like a cage. Sleep had eluded me since I was pulled out, and through the exhaustion and the haze of sameness I never knew exactly when I was beyond a date of 2266.

I was craving daylight - not the vitamin D, as I was being given a healthy dose of daily vitamins through an IV drip - the natural light and the natural warmth of it, all over my face and skin. The ceiling lights of the room provided an element of ultraviolet light, but after so many hours the falsehood of an invention began to wear a person down. It’s something you never really think about, the sun, not until you don’t have it, not until you haven’t seen it for one hundred years.

But when one hundred years feels like three days or two weeks, time really stops mattering and then the sun itself doesn’t feel so important.

from Empty Vessels, posted july 2019:

For a while, they do not speak. Minseok looks longingly out over the water, hollowed, as the herbalist regards the dirt on her shoes with an empty stare. In the silence, Junmyeon minutely nods, the bare threads of his patience allowing them space to find their words. Images spring to his mind, all imagined and none wholly formed, each as bleak and battered as the crow in Chanyeol’s arms. He wonders what Minseok has seen, unable to avoid with a clarity bordering on entrapment; he wonders what she has heard, whispers on the wind of a life he thought he’d left behind.

‘The trees are screaming,’ she announces, eyes still downcast though her voice is sharp; blunt as the edge of a sword and equally as unforgiving. ‘They’re in pain.’

It settles over him, slow and uncompromising, the notion that trees could make sound - that they would choose to. The oldest wisdom lingers in their branches, and for one brief moment, he sees her as someone as old as their roots.

i, at least, can see an enormous difference in quality and style and thats because ive been writing and writing and writing for a very long time lmao. in 2011 i was 3 years into writing fanfic consistently; at that time, too, i was still working towards my degrees and writing daily for film analysis projects. the more you write, the more you evolve so please please please dont stop just because you feel you arent experienced enough. confidence and style will come over time, just keep yourself in practice.

- NOTES MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. notes on tumblr are a hot take - and while, yes, there is a need for more reblogs and more sharing of content, focusing on statistics will drive you to the brink. joseph gordon levitt released a ted talk last week on how seeking attention is detrimental to your creativity and LORD this is such a good talk because its true. one of the things he discusses is how powerful the feeling of receiving attention - in this case, notes on a fic - drives someone toward output, but is that genuine? now, of course theres always going to be different scenarios or opinions but if you are just starting out with writing please dont post a fic under the assumption or expectation of achieving a note goal. there are so many variables as to what gets notes and what does not - from algorithm to how many people are online to see it to timing to content like you cannot predict what will or will not correspond to x number of notes and x number of followers.

instead of setting note or follower goals, set word count goals. when i first started writing for kpop i was actually a pretty concise writer. if you look at the early chapters of hero and wyrm tamer, they all would peak around 4 or 5k words. achieving 10-15K on something seemed absolutely ridiculous and impossible to me - hell, 15K was 10K words under my masters thesis count! why would i want to write that much? but now? im shook if i finish a chapter or fic and the word count is just 4K. those word count goals are exciting for me.

nervous about word count goals? thats fine! set a goal to write a genre. always wanted to try high fantasy? dope! do it! want to write some sexy vampires? fuck yeah, everyone loves those! want to write a fic that helps you release some tension or trauma youve experienced? please do that, writing is therapy and has been scientifically proven to help.

set goals for making characters, world building, soundtracks, to learn photoshop to make a moodboard. set goals for all kinds of things but pls dont set goals for statistics because these are so variable and very often outside of your control they will very often suck any joy out of your creativity before its had the chance to start.

i hope these help!

#writing advice #the cutest anons!#Anonymous

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highroadsteve · 6 years

Text

a growing pain — p.p.

a/n: this is the longest fic ive ever written, and it was going to be so much longer but i needed to put something out! im also working on something else that i am in love with so here u go while u wait ;)

pairing: peter parker x reader

warnings: language, angst

summary: your relationship that was headed on the right path took a wrong turn when Peter had gotten an internship

You and Peter were that couple. Your bond was unbreakable, the two of you were just two teenagers that had fallen in love. It was so smitten, the little kisses that you shared at random times, the laughter never ending, the mean (but meant in a sweet way) nicknames. It was obvious that the two of you were going to last forever.

It was a cliché story, really. You two grew up together along with Ned, going to the same schools throughout your lives. The three of you had chosen to go to Midtown School of Science and Tech, only because you all wanted to graduate and succeed together. When your teenage years had come along, you and Peter grew feelings towards each other and it had blossomed into a young but adorable relationship. The two of you were incredibly close, almost never leaving each other’s side for anything. The playful banter between the two of you was what kept your relationship from being cheesy, and more casual. From the meme references that the two of you shared to the ‘you’re so fucking cute, you loser’ type of communication, your relationship seemed to be going on the right path.

However, as cute as it was, your relationship was starting to come to an end. Well, not yet at least, but it began to feel that way as soon as Peter had started becoming distant.

Usually on days before assignments were due, the three of you guys would go over to someone’s place and work on the assignment together. This was honestly just an excuse to hang out but you all knew that you worked together perfectly anyway and at the end of the day, the work was done no matter what. When you all put your mind together, the work just became extremely easier and faster.

But recently, with Peter’s distant behavior, it was bound to happen that he would cancel on a hangout. Of course, the first times it was fine because he is probably busy; however, he bailed on you guys almost every single time and that’s when it started to irritate you.

“He canceled again.” You sighed, throwing your phone on your bed and looked at Ned sitting on the floor with his homework laid out in front of him. He rolled his eyes and put his pencil down on the notebook with a bit of force.

“Of course he did. Man, I’m so damn tired of this Y/N, like no offense to you because you’re super smart, but we work better when it’s the three of us.” You nodded with Ned’s statement, biting your lip with hesitance. You wanted to complain too, but you felt like maybe he had a good reason to cancel.

“Yeah, but I mean, maybe he really couldn’t come this time.” You responded to his comment and he threw his hands up in the air, widening his eyes in annoyance.

“You say that all the time Y/N! When was the last time you got to hang out with him?!” He looked at your face which was showcasing sorrow and a bit of regret, “yeah, it was probably weeks ago.”

Ned shook his head with another roll of his eyes and continued with his homework. You tapped your pencil slightly on the textbook that was sprawled on your lap, a small exhale escaping your lips before you went back to doing your work.

Peter had shown up to school the next couple of days, his eyes becoming heavier but nonetheless, it was still the same Peter. The jokes continued on, both you and Ned forgetting all about the tension towards Peter. Everything was going back to normal until Peter hadn’t shown up for a day.

You were in your room just listening to music and doing your nails. The volume of the music lowered down for a second, notifying you that you had gotten a text message. Walking over to your bed, with your unpainted hand, you grabbed your phone and sat down.

Peter didn’t fucking show up.

The text was from Ned and you had to admit, your blood started to boil. You were fine with Peter canceling on the work days, but this was different. Ned and Peter had a huge project that they’ve been working on for months and it was due the following day. Peter had promised that this time he wouldn’t cancel and he did, so now Ned had to finish the project all by himself.

I’m sorry.

The next day rolled around and Peter didn’t even go to school. Although you were slightly mad at him, your worry for him was more intense than anything. You convinced yourself that he was just sick and that he wasn’t just ditching because he wanted to. But deep down, you felt like that wasn’t the case because he would always text you during the school day if he was sick, so you ended up blowing up his phone with texts.

Peter where are you?

Why aren’t you at school?

You better have a good fucking explanation on why you ditched Ned.

Call me back, I love you.

The day continued on as normal, going to classes, paying attention, going to lunch, hanging out with Ned, and then finally going home. You threw your backpack at the corner of your room and then threw yourself on the bed, exhausted. Today had been both physically and emotionally draining for you. You checked your phone constantly, hoping you could get at least a smiley face from him, because then you’d know he was fine.

The doorbell had rang so you sighed and got up from the bed to go to the door. You looked through the peephole and saw Peter standing there, his hands in his pockets and his hair a mess. You quickly opened the door and stared at him, him staring back at you. He had a black eye and a bleeding lip, a nervous smile appearing on his face. You shook your head and jumped into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck and kissing him all over his face. He hugged you back and proceeded to kiss you on your lips, with happiness and relaxation engulfing his body.

“What happened? Are you okay?” You brought him into your house and closed the door, letting him sit on the couch in your living room. He sat down, exhaling a bit and looking up at you.

“I got an internship at Stark Industries.” He told you with a small smile. You furrowed your eyebrows, confused because he had never mentioned signing up for it.

“Stark Industries? As in Tony Stark? As in, the Iron Man?!” You practically yelled, starting to see how huge of an opportunity that would be for Peter to carry out his studies. He laughed softly and nodded. You smiled and hugged him, kissing him again before pulling away and looking into his eyes.

“I’m so proud of you.” He thanked you and smiled, bringing you in closer for another kiss. Everything was okay in the world at that moment, and you had completely forgotten about the fact that Peter was all bruised up.

Peter had told Ned about the internship and the three of you were always talking excitedly about it. Working with a freaking Avenger sounded like the coolest job on the entire fucking planet. The three of you admired him so much, trying your hardest to pursue the same career path that he is in. And Peter only being a teenager gave you and Ned hope that someday all three of you will be working together.

Peter had been skipping your hangouts a lot, but you and Ned both knew it was because of the Stark internship so you didn’t let it bother you. You knew he was working hard, doing whatever he is doing and putting his entire effort into it. And sometimes he has to choose between his personal life and his education, so you’re glad that he’s choosing his education because you all share the same moral of education coming first. The only problem that had finally arose was when Peter had gotten his report card.

It was a Friday morning and you, Ned, and Peter shared a class together where the teacher was handing out the updated grade book. You looked for your number on the list and flipped your hair sarcastically, pretending to brag about your grade because obviously you knew you were going to get an A. Ned saw his grade and made a fist, whisper-yelling a ‘yes’ while doing so. You laughed with him, giving him a fist bump and turning to look at Peter. He looked at his grade and shrugged, passing it to the next person.

“I got a C, ayyy.” He said in a sarcastic voice. You looked at him and frowned a bit because the Peter you knew would be crying and ranting about how it was a mistake.

“Uh...at least you’re passing dude.” Ned scratched the back of his head and Peter shrugged again, acting like he didn’t care. It was unbelievable, you were absolutely dumbfounded at the fact that this boy that you had to comfort before over a B plus, was brushing off a C as if it was nothing.

You ended up seeing his entire report card and it honestly had taken your breath away. It was after school and you two were sitting on the subway. He didn’t have a single A, the highest grade was an eighty-five percent and it was in Chemistry, also known as the only class Peter cares about. After looking at his grades, you looked up at him with a shocked look on your face, your mouth opened slightly.

“Peter, what the fuck?” You asked him and he looked over at you, puckering up his lips a bit and nodded. He shrugged again for like the thousandth time, not really caring about it.

“Your grades are amazing babe, I’m proud of you.” He smiled and placed your report card on your backpack that was on your lap, grabbing his own from your hands which stayed in the same position. You kept looking at him, not knowing what to do because this wasn’t Peter. There was no fucking way this is the boy you fell in love with. Yeah, he looks exactly like him and he makes the same jokes he does, but this isn’t fucking it. The Peter you love would be stressed out about the grades, he would do everything he could possibly do to bring up a B to an A. But this...this Peter isn’t your Peter. This Peter is out of his damn mind and you’re kind of getting tired of it.

“Peter, I don’t think you should be doing that internship if it means you’re getting these grades.” You stated with a sigh, shaking your head at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you with a confused smile.

“What do you mean? My grades are fine.” You blinked a couple of times because you just couldn’t wrap your head around the situation. Who the fuck was sitting right next to you because it sure as hell isn’t Peter.

“You know exactly what the hell I mean, Peter. You don’t have a single A for fuck’s sake!“ You raised your voice a bit, but keeping yourself as calm as you could be because after all, you are in love with this kid. And you’re in a train with other passengers.

“Mr. Stark said C’s get degrees, Y/N. It’s all good. I’m not going to fail in life because of a few bad grades.” He laughed slightly and put his arm around you. You gently grabbed it and removed it from your shoulders, sighing.

“Look, Peter. I know you’re so fucking excited over this internship, and if it’s something you want to do, then by all means go for it. I’m not going to hold you back. Just, don’t forget about where your priorities are.” You looked up and held eye contact with him. He nodded slowly and whispered a small ‘I know’ before kissing you on the lips, putting his arm around you once again.

Life keeps going on, and Peter is still behaving the same way, and you were starting to get annoyed. He was skipping classes and having Tony Stark sign him off as excused because he has the power to do almost anything, obviously. So you would be sitting in class, doing your work with Peter when your teacher would get constant phone calls, excusing Peter to go home. He would get out of his seat excitedly and shoot you a quick wave before leaving you alone to finish the assignments.

You and Ned would hang out after school almost all the time, planning the same study dates you used to do with Peter, and just getting to know each other better. You were starting to prefer hanging out with Ned over Peter, only because Peter would only be on his phone when he was with you, hoping to get a call or text from the infamous Iron Man, resulting in one sided conversations between the two of you. During the times Peter would be at school, he would do the same thing with his phone and you would have to direct your stories to Ned, who would actually be listening.

The school year had finally ended and you were completely dreading the summer. The year before, you, Peter, and Ned would take trips to the beach or to a theme park, having the time of your lives together and creating amazing memories. But this year, Ned went on vacation for the summer and you were left alone at your house, only having your bed as your company.

The loneliness that you felt daily was definitely the worst moments you experienced during the summer. They were moments where Peter would stop texting you for hours and you would lay on your bed, scrolling through social media and intrusive thoughts getting into your head. You started overthinking your relationship with Peter and it was breaking your heart with every second that passed.

Was it even worth it to keep this going? Do I really love him as much as I did? Yes, I care about him, but it feels like I don’t know him anymore. Why am I always the one making sure we hang out? Does he even love me?

Days were spent on your ideas of what to do to help save your relationship. You thought about the pros and cons about breaking up, and the pros were always surpassing the cons. You were laying in bed with tears in your eyes and aching in your chest, because this isn’t what you wanted at all but being together was just creating a burden on your entire life. Your effort was exceeding Peter’s and you hated it, you didn’t want to feel like you’re the only one who actually wants the relationship to last. So after countless days of arguing with yourself, you finally came to the decision that it was time to break it off.

Come over now. Emergency.

You heard a quick knock at your front door. Your heart rate sped up incredibly fast and you started to feel cold flashes erupt throughout your entire body. You took a deep breath and with a shaky hand you opened the door.

”Are you okay?!” He asked when he saw you. His heart was racing for a completely different reason than you, his worry for you was clearly evident in his eyes. You shook your head, your lip quivering slightly and your throat tightening up, a sign that you were about to start bawling. You guided him inside and you sat him down on the same spot as you did last time, standing up in front of him and taking a deep breath.

“Baby what’s wrong? You’re...you’re scaring me.” Peter looked up at your tear filled eyes that looked at anything but him, the frown on your face getting deeper by the second.

“We need a break.” You choked up, a tear slowly falling down your cheek. You glanced at him, seeing his eyes blink rapidly and his Adam’s apple slowly move up then down as he gulped.

“I-wh...what?” He was getting choked up as well, a sob threatening to spill out. But you couldn’t hold back anymore. Your hands flew to your face, the sob escaping your throat and making its way out until it was softened by your hands covering your mouth. You couldn’t control it, you couldn’t stop the sobs that were filling the air with tension and sadness. Peter got up quickly and wrapped you in his arms, only to have you gently push him away and shake your head.

“I can’t do this shit anymore, Peter! I can’t keep acting like you haven’t changed and that we’re still the same fucking couple we were a year ago. Hell, we aren’t even the same fucking friends we were years ago. You aren’t the same Peter and you know that I’m right. We can’t keep this game going because fuck, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t Peter, I can’t.” You were practically yelling at him, your face blushing, your tears flowing, and your nose running. He was crying as well, sniffing every once in a while and his lip was quivering. It killed you to see him like that, but you knew it was for the best. You knew it.

“Y-yes we can Y/N! I’ve been busy and I just...I can’t get out of it and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry baby, but I promise we can make it work. Please, look at me,” He got closer to you and gently placed his hands on your arms, putting his finger under your chin and making you look at him, “We can make it work. I still love you so fucking much.”

You looked at him and there were millions of thoughts going through your head. You were contemplating on whether it was a good idea to stay with him or not. You wanted to, fuck, you wanted to stay with him so bad. Right now it seemed like the best idea, maybe you could make it work. Maybe he will change and he won’t be as distant. Maybe you can be together after all.

But something inside you knew. It just knew that it wouldn’t work out. It’s going to be the same, you’re going to end up right back here in a short amount of time. You’re going to continue to feel the loneliness, you’re going to continue to feel the weight on your shoulders over this relationship. At the moment, it was amazing because you finally had Peter in your arms again, but you knew at one point he is going to leave, and he isn’t going to be the Peter that’s facing you right now. So for your own well-being, and for Peter’s, you stepped away and took a deep breath.

“We can’t. We can’t, Peter. You fucking know we can’t. We drifted apart and I fucking hate you for that. I hate you so fucking much Peter, but I hate you so fucking much because I love you even more. I’m still so in love with you but I can’t make myself suffer like this. I can’t...I can’t keep...hoping that you’re still the same nerdy kid that I fell in love with.” Your throat was hurting, the sobs clawing at it, but you kept yourself straight. You kept yourself from making sounds other than your voice because you knew that if you were to choke out a sob, you wouldn’t stop.

Peter kept his mouth shut. He saw you breaking down, he saw the pain in your red, swollen eyes and he hated himself for it. He knew this was his fault, he made her feel like this relationship wasn’t worth it. He made her feel like shit, and he hates that he let himself hurt you like that. Which is why he was going to let you go. He didn’t have anything to say, and neither did you, so you both stayed silent until Peter walked up slowly to you and hugged you.

The moment your head hit his chest is the moment you let it all go. You let all your frustrations, sadness, and tension go with every tear, every cry. Peter was doing the same, letting his tears fall down onto your hair and shutting his eyes tightly as he let out shaky breaths.

“I love you Peter. And I want you to keep doing the internship. Use that smart brain of yours to do good things. I’m so proud of you.” You whispered into his hoodie, the wetness from your tears clinging onto your cheek. You sniffed, hugging him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Y/N.” You heard him choke out, the words barely audible. You nodded, telling him that you know. You know he’s sorry, and so are you.

“I love you Peter.” You sniffed, pulling away a bit to look at his red face and swollen eyes.

“I love you too Y/N.”

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