#because maybe that’ll help?

[bcofl0ve]

at the combination drafting the giveaway google form vs being so immensely frustrated that this has turned into disagreeing with me about austin and kaia being/not being pr to ripping apart every single waking thing i post (when one could very well just ignore the person that sends you. everything. i. post. i blocked them- they’re going to a burner or safari to get you screenshots buddy.) and it’s sucking the fun out of this at breakneck speed ❤️

[flygonscales]

2 weeks at uni and I’ve already reached peak procrastination. I found masking tape and somehow decided that the best use of my time was to make a tiny Belphemon-sleep.

[deklo]

my poor little dog is so sad and uncomfy lately :( he was doing so well but whatever is wrong with him is back and now he’s MISERABLE

[cherrysnax]

oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why

[fractallogic]

I mean yeah dude no kidding she’s better when she eats, because that’s how humans work

Dude is in DENIAL and I am just so tired of it. I’m looking forward to talking to grandpa when he calls me so that I can get an update, because… sigh. I just want broad strokes. I mean yes a shitty update is an update but is it really better than no update? Idk.

Our energetic friend happened to call last night and since her mom also died of cancer and also had a brain tumor, it was especially meaningful to have her tell me for the umpteenth time that whatever decision I made re: seeing her is the right one. If someone who adored and cared for her mom in her final days says that… I mean, I KNOW it’s true, but coming from her I believe it.

Idk man. I want my mom to be at peace. I want her to die. She wouldn’t want to be like this.

[sweet-milky-tea705]

Day 1000000000000 of being romantically confused.

[the-bluestreak-cat]

Like all struggles in the now, I’m giving future me a chance to be happy

[hellomynameistatiana]

[transk0vsky]

I understand thematically and character development wise why Casey doesn’t kill hun when he has the chance and I think that’s an interesting moment and shows a lot about Casey at his core……however I’m just saying should Casey get a second chance I don’t think he’ll hesitate……..

[vagueiish]

i’m probably gonna take the semester off - and maybe even just….not go back at all, ha ha, what’s another failed attempt at college? - but i still want to be productive and learn/do things rather than sit around gaming and daydreaming with my free time.

so…small list of things i wanna do this year because i don’t want to overwhelm myself:

learn to art (so i can make comics and other things i want)

write more (and also better)

exercise more (wanna get stronk and also flexible and also cardio)

learn to computer (comptia a+ cert or equivalent level ish) (sub goal: finally start building my own pc)

get into painting minis (bought an airbrush, babey, just gotta Do It)

learn python

work through the odin project

read more

maybe consider a new, better paying job??

[daytonasand]

x

[sticky-sugar]

try it. (matsukawa issei x reader)

tags/cw: roommates to lovers, somnophilia, fingering, mattsun sends porn as a coping mechanism, size kink if you really squint

word count: 3.1k

“i’ve always wanted to try that.” 

issei chokes on his beer when you speak. you point at the tv in explanation, as though he needs one. the scene playing has just started out with a couple in bed, spooning while they fuck. everything’s covered, but it’s easy to tell through the blanket that the woman’s leg is lifted, her back arching against the man’s chest while she cries out lewdly. 

“never been fucked in the morning?” he jokes, keeping his eyes trained on the screen so he doesn’t have to look at you. his laugh sounds awkward even to him. 

“mm-mm.” you shake your head, draining your wine glass, and he can’t tell if that’s a confirmation or a rejection of his guess. but he can tell that that wine bottle on the coffee table is empty, because you would never say these things to him sober. 

“not that part,” you explain. frowning when you realize there’s no wine left, you rise from the couch, disappearing from the room and padding down the hall. issei sighs in relief at the moment alone, running his fingers through his hair and tugging hard.

“she’s drunk,” he whispers to himself, a reminder. “she’s drunk, and she’s your friend. and you can’t afford rent anywhere else, you stupid fuck.” that’ll do it. he’s broke as shit, and you’re a good friend. he can steel his nerves with those facts. 

“she was asleep when he started,” you call from the kitchen. 

fuck. 

issei drops his head back, hitting it on the wall a few times with purpose. fuck, fuck, fuck. 

you come back in, and he straightens, yanking the throw blanket over his lap. you’re too drunk to notice. 

you’re too drunk to notice much of anything, really — including your own running mouth. 

“she was asleep,” you say again. “and he fucked her anyway—“ you rush to explain yourself, holding a hand out when his eyes find yours, wide and uncertain. “consensually, obviously.” 

that doesn’t help. he’d been assuming that, but you confirming it makes it worse.

somnophilia, his mind whispers, the word latching itself to you. 

“i dunno,” you shrug, your refilled wine glass brought to your lips. “i think it’s hot, i guess. i’d try it.” 

he really can’t afford rent anywhere else. 

—

you’re scouring roommate ads in a hungover daze the next morning. 

what is your problem?, you think, rolling over to groan into your pillow. you open your bank app, staring at the number in your checking account and wondering uselessly if it’s enough to afford a place on your own. one where you’ll never have to look mattsun in the face again. 

why did you tell him that?

your brain flashes through two bottles of wine and drunk admissions, and you switch over to uber eats, deciding that cooking is simply not an option today. standing in that kitchen for more then four seconds and risking running into him is not an option. 

you know why you told him that. you know exactly why you told him.

you told him because, despite every coping mechanism you’ve tried over the years of living with him, matsukawa issei persists in being the most attractive man you’ve ever met. 

you told him because you wanted to test the waters. why you would ever test the waters with somnophilia, of all things, and not something standard and vanilla like ‘making out with a friend just happens sometimes’ or ‘drunk hookups aren’t so bad’, you will never know. 

but you’d told him because you think about it. you think about him, doing things like that. things that aren’t standard or vanilla or easily explained or plausibly deniable. 

you think about matsukawa issei fucking you while you sleep. and maybe it’s happened one too many times. maybe now it’s all you think about, enough that it comes up in your stupid, drunk admissions. 

maybe — just maybe — you hope he might take you up on it, now that it’s out there in the open like that. 

but that’s just a maybe. so you’re looking for another apartment, on the very real chance that he’s going to call you a freak and never speak to you again. 

your phone buzzes in your hand. 

it’s a text from him.

[10:17 AM]

mattsun: [link attached]

your face crumples into a frown. “what?” you murmur, jabbing a thumb on the link and hoping it’s not a virus. 

your phone starts moaning at max volume.

you scream, slamming down on the side button to lower the volume as the video intro plays through. your eyes fly to the title.

milf fucked by son’s friend while she’s sleeping

there’s no fucking way he just did that. 

[10:19 AM]

mattsun: smth like that? 

“matsukawa!” you scream, rolling out of bed and storming out into the hall. he’s laughing loudly from his room, and you all but kick his door down. “what the fuck is your problem?!” 

he’s in bed, cackling gleefully and covering his face with his blanket — but his eyes are anything but shy when he looks at you. 

“just trying to ease the tension-“

“by sending me porn?!”

he shrugs and gestures to his phone. “im just saying, you’re not alone! at least—“ he glances down at the screen “—3.8 million other people are into it, too-“ 

you scream in frustration, turning and stomping back to your room. his laughter follows, echoing through your door even when you slam it. 

he does it for two weeks straight. every few days, you wake up to a new link, each video titled something more obnoxious than the last. 

guy takes step-sister while she takes a nap

mom wakes step-son up with a special surprise on his birthday

repairman finds sleeping beauty home alone

each one draws an irritated screech of his name and the echoing giggles of satisfaction from his room. 

you could stop it. in fact, he’s asked you more than once if you want him to. 

‘if you really want me to stop, i’ll stop, he’d said in your kitchen last week.

‘just say the word,’ he’d reminded you on his way out one morning.

‘i think you and i both know how important consent is,’ he’d murmured just two nights ago, leaning on your doorframe, his eyes hot on yours. 

you’d shivered under his gaze and pretended to be engrossed in something on your phone. you’d hoped he couldn’t see the way you’d pressed your thighs together, but when you looked up, he was already staring down at them. 

he’d met your eyes again and just hummed, flicking his dark eyebrows up at you before turning away. your phone had buzzed with a new link only seconds after his bedroom door had clicked shut.

you’re certain he knows why you haven’t told him to stop. that the truth is that you don’t want him to stop. you’re certain he’s testing the waters now, too.

because each video he sends you gets closer and closer to being about roommates. 

your phone buzzes in your hands. you wonder if he knows that you watch each one, waiting for him to pull the trigger on the one that sits unspoken in the space between you. 

he does, a week later.

— 

you’ve caught him, issei realizes belatedly. 

maybe he should have noticed after you started sitting closer to him on the couch. or maybe after you’d refused to tell him to stop sending you porn. or maybe even after he’d sent you something titled ‘roommate can’t help himself while she sleeps’ at 4 in the morning and you hadn’t called the cops on him. 

maybe he should have realized you’d caught him after any one of those. but he doesn’t. he doesn’t realize it, not until this very moment, as you’re standing from the couch and bending over to clean the table of empty beer bottles before bed. 

he doesn’t realize it until he realizes you’re not wearing any underwear. 

he glances at you shamefully when you bend at the waist, hoping you don’t look back and catch him. and then he coughs violently, choking on his own spit and drawing your attention. 

he waves you off, blushing furiously and not even bothering to stop his eyes from flying to your ass when you just shrug and bend over again. your pajama shorts have ridden up, but there’s no lacy edge on pink panties where there should be. 

yes, he’d noticed years ago that these shorts tend to ride up and not mentioned it. yes, he knows what kind of panties you wear. yes, he has a favorite pair. 

what are you gonna do if you find out, call him a pervert? he’d sent you roommate somnophilia porn and you’d made him coffee in the morning.

“‘kay, goodnight,” you mumble, and issei wonders if you’re shy about it or if he’s just hoping you are.

“g’night,” he breathes, eyes finding yours. you keep eye contact all the way out of the living room. your eyes drop to his lap at the last second, and he watches a grin stretch across your face just before you disappear from the room. 

he looks down at his lap, and then he swears under his breath. he’s visibly hard in his sweatpants. 

—

he feels like a pervert. he really feels like a pervert. 

he stands in the hall outside your bedroom, one hand on the knob, feeling like a pervert. it’s 2 in the morning, and he feels like a pervert.

he sighs to himself and turns the knob slowly — ever so slowly, because he knows how it creaks, and he doesn’t want to wake you. he pushes the door open carefully, and then he finds you in the dark, moonlight spilling over your body. 

you’re completely naked. 

you’re on your stomach, blankets draped over your lower half and one knee bent out toward the wall. issei can see the expanse of your bare skin and the swell of your breast, but you’ve got your back slightly to him, so he can’t see everything. 

but it’s enough. 

he breathes hard, stepping into the room and shutting the door silently behind him. he runs his fingers through his hair, tugging hard and giving a soft sigh as he pads over to you. 

when he lowers his knees to your mattress, it’s with his heart in his throat and his cock straining against his pants. you look so innocent, so sweet like this, even while he’s sliding the blankets off of your skin and exposing you in the moonlight. 

is he really allowed to want this as badly as he does? 

your breath is steady, only changing slightly when he braces himself behind you, propped up on one elbow. he scoots toward you, breath caught in his throat, and then slides his hand under the back of your knee. you shiver, probably because his fingers are ice cold, and he keeps his eyes locked on the side of your face. 

when you don’t give any other sign of waking, he lifts your leg and hooks it backward over his knee, opening your body up for him. 

he swears under his breath, staring down at you in the moonlight. 

you shift, adjusting to the new angle of your body with a sigh. your back presses to his chest, and issei has to press his lips together so he doesn’t moan at the sight of you. 

he keeps his eyes on your face when he slides his fingers along your inner thigh, watching you intensely as his icy fingertips dance close to the spot between your thighs that’s radiating heat. 

when he cups your bare cunt, your skin breaks out in goosebumps, but you don’t move otherwise. issei moans now, because your body knows what he’s doing, but you don’t. 

he’d had a feeling before — in the weeks between that moment on the couch and this moment right here — that he’d unlocked a new, previously untouched fantasy. that his reaction to your drunken admission might have been about more than just being attracted to you. 

he sees it now. now, as he’s sliding two fingers between your folds and watching as you remain completely unaware, he realizes that you’ve done something to him. that you’ve made him want to do this to you, tonight and every night after. 

it takes every ounce of his self-control not to shudder and moan in your ear when your pussy twitches under his fingers, reacting to him even when you don’t. 

he drops his head to your chest, eyes locked on your face as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth. your lips part, and he freezes, but the sigh that falls out is nowhere near conscious, so he keeps going, sucking and licking and grazing his teeth over the bud while he massages your cunt with his now-warm fingers. 

the first sign that you’re reacting is the growing ease with which he’s able to push his fingers against you. your entrance becomes slick, and he can’t help that he pushes his hips against your ass in response, seeking relief. he drops his touch lower and swipes the pads of his fingers through the mess there, spreading it all over your cunt. 

when he circles your clit, slippery and warm now, your breathing changes, harder and rougher. the rise and fall of your chest pushes at his mouth, and he latches on with fresh fervor, watching your brows furrow and your lips twitch at the onslaught of sensations. 

it shouldn’t be as easy as it is for him to push his middle finger past your entrance. 

“fuck”, he whispers despite himself, mouth slipping off of you with a gentle pop and eyes rolling back in his head. your walls pulse around his finger, warm and velvety and wet beyond belief. his cock twitches hard in his pants as he slides his finger in and out of you, searching for that spongy spot that’ll wake you up. 

he knows you might have wanted him to fuck you like this, but he can’t help himself anymore. he doesn’t have it in him to be careful anymore. 

when his ring finger joins his middle, it’s with intent. the push is rough, bullying your cunt open with the size of his fingers, no doubt longer and fuller than you can get on your own. 

you shift under him, a quiet noise of question leaving you, and he lifts his head, attaching his lips to the crook of your neck. 

“y/n,” he whispers, more a moan than anything else. “need you.” 

he sucks on the column of your throat while you come to, his fingers curling and spreading inside of you — his sloppy attempt to prepare you for him. 

“h-huh-“ your head lifts slightly, and then you’re slamming it back against the pillow, your back arching. “oh, my god, mattsun-“ 

he almost comes in his pants when you say his name like that. 

“couldn’t help myself,“ he starts, shaking his head and pushing his body against yours almost desperately. “you were so pretty.“ your cunt tightens around his fingers in response, and he files that away for later. keeps it in mind, the things that make you react like this. “need you so bad, y/n-“ 

“yes, god yes,” you breathe, a whine trapped in your throat. you turn your head, back still pressed against his chest, and drop your still-sleepy eyes to his lips.

the coil under issei’s navel tugs hard when he realizes how well he can read you. 

he pushes his mouth against yours eagerly, moan unrestrained when your tongue slides against his. he wonders if you know how often he’s thought of this moment, years of wanting you and craving the feeling of you coming undone under his fingers. 

“please,” you whisper against his lips, back arching when he pushes the pads of his fingers against that spongy spot that makes you whine. “more, mattsun.” 

he groans, shivering when you pull his bottom lip between your teeth. “not yet — it’ll hurt,” he murmurs, leaning on every molecule of self-control.

“i can take it,” you just say, pushing your ass back against his aching cock. “promise.” 

he never had that much self-control to begin with.

his moan comes out in a shuddered breath, overpowered by the sound of you whining when he slips his fingers out of you. he shoves his sweats down to his knees, meeting your eyes and seeing the urgency he feels reflected in your eyes. 

when he slides his cock between your folds, it’s with a choked groan and a heaving pant in your ear. 

“can i- are you sure-“ he stutters, already lining himself up at your entrance.

“please, please, please,” you babble, arching your back to make the angle easier on him. 

you come around his cock before he’s even halfway in. 

there are stars in his eyes by the time you’re done. 

you cry out for him, shaking and clenching down hard, and he can’t do anything except bury his face in your hair and keep your leg lifted high with a trembling hand. 

“fuck,” he breathes, voice tight. “fuck, y/n-“ 

“more, mattsun,” you sob. he thinks you might be the girl of his dreams. 

pushing the rest of the way in, he shoves down his own orgasm, fighting and kicking and forcing it away so he can last more than thirty seconds inside of you. 

he only manages a minute before he’s spilling into you with a stuttered moan of your name, face buried in your neck and head full of static.

you’re just slumped against him by the time he comes to his senses, breathing hard and synced with his.

“sorry,” he mumbles into your hair, ears burning with embarrassment. “i swear i usually last longer than that-“

you laugh, tired and still weak but bright all the same. “yeah — so do i.” 

he snorts, pulling out slowly and letting your leg drop closed, trying his best not to moan at the feeling. 

“are you sure that was okay?” he asks, a tiny inkling of doubt still seeded in his veins. you just giggle, whispering his name in fond exasperation.

“sorry, which part of me sleeping naked was a warning sign?” 

“shut up,” he mutters, curling himself around you and feeling the beginnings of exhaustion start to drain his energy. “i’m staying here tonight. i don’t do one-night stands.” 

you just turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. “was i that good, mattsun? i was asleep for half of it.” 

you’re gonna be the thing that kills him, he just knows it. 

[justasadboi]

Haven’t made one of these post in a while but this month marks four years and o just have many feelings about everything. This months was very traumatic for me for two years in a row, this time four years ago I was in the hospital after trying to kill myself and five years ago I was in an impatient for the first time after my mom found out about my self harm and I expressed my suicidal thoughts and feelings. The second time was a six month experience that I feel really messed me up more than it helped me. I know that after all this time I’m supposed to feel happy that I didn’t die and that I’m here doing all these things, which is partially true I have done things I would’ve never thought were even possible, but at the same time I have experienced many hardships since that just make me wish it would have worked. I feel like a failure and that everything and everyone would be better by this point if it would’ve worked. I feel upset with myself that I still feel the same way. I feel grateful because I know what would’ve happened to my mom if I would’ve been successful. Overall I feel this negative feeling that I can’t really explain. Idk what to do with these feelings. Idk if they will ever go away. I had a relapse in my self harm around a month or so ago and that made me feel like a failure for doing it but also for the fact that it has since faded like nothing happened. I know I need to start helping myself because I gave up on therapy and medicine like two or three years ago now idek or remember tbh. Everything is just getting worse and I feel like I’m reaching the point of no return and I really just need everything to pause for a little bit so I can have time to catch up. I feel like I lost so much of my social skills being stuck in a place like that where you weren’t even allowed to call the people you live with ur friends without getting in trouble. I feel so just behind in life physically and mentally and idk if I’ll ever catch up. And this has honestly been plaguing my brain and making my chest feel tight for years now and idk how to make it stop. I just want it to stop

[dnptheinfinity]

i have an idea for sims render for pride and i’m really excited for it and this week i might actually have some time to start working on it so i thought if i tell you about it it will motivate me do actually do it, so:

the devan wedding.

[5sospenguinqueen]

You Got Me Tripping - Mick Schumacher x Williams! Reader

Summary: They say you should never meet your heroes - or the offspring of your heroes - and when you make a complete ass out of yourself in front of Mick, you might agree

Warnings: Swearing. Fluff.

Williams development driver. Pinterest pics

I'm not in love with this but I had the idea so it had to be written haha

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

f1news just posted

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and others 

f1news accurate reenactment of the moment when williams’ development driver, Yn Ln, met the son of hero michael schumacher… and forgot how to walk 

1,221 comments

user1 i love how they can’t post the actual video footage netflix got because you know she threatened everyone to bury it

user2 not the drivers being summoned to a trashy news blog dedicated to them

→ user3 they too are obsessed with this development

its_yn_ln is this what people call news these days? boring!

→ landonorris speak for yourself, this was hilarious 

→ alex_albon i have it saved as my lockscreen

→ logansargeant i’ve definitely watched it more than 10x

→ its_yn_ln i hate you all 

→ georgerussell63 even me? i can introduce you to the hero of your stumblings

→ landonorris probably not the best idea, mate. you'd need her to stay in one piece 

→ williams so do we, she’s our reserve 

user4 she lost aura points for this 

user5 i get it. i too would trip over thin air if mick schumacher smiled at me like that 

user6 why are we all forgetting the most important part?

→ user7 you mean how red she went when he helped her up

user8 and the way he launched forward to catch her 

→ user9 no wonder she swooned

→ user10 mhm if those arms were wrapped around me 😏

williamsracing just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others 

williamsracing following contact earlier today between Yn and the concrete, we’re pleased to confirm that the driver sustained little more than a bruised ego

5,335 comments

its_yn_ln watch yourself, i know where you work 

→ jv.f1 stop threatening the admin, please

→ its_yn_ln but they’re bullying me 

logansargeant where’s the post about my suffering? i had to listen to her complain about how embarrassed she was

→ its_yn_ln stop exposing me! 

→ user11 you’ve exposed yourself 

→ its_yn_ln i really hope i didn’t. nobody said my jeans split

→ landonorris trust me, if we'd seen your ass, you'd have seen me retching

its_yn_ln that’s a lie, i suffered a wound to my elbow 

→ alex_albon it’s a scrape, you didn’t even bleed 

→ its_yn_ln i’ve lost a layer of skin! 

→ alex_albon maybe that’ll make you go faster in practice tomorrow 

→ its_yn_ln @/lilymhe leave him 

oscarpiastri the figure chasing Yn is actually lando

→ its_yn_ln he tried following me into the bathroom earlier! 

mickschumacher i hope she recovers quickly 

georgerussell63 do you want me to ask him to kiss it better?

→ its_yn_ln do you want me to edge you off the track in practice? 

→ williamsracing you’re not allowed to say these things

→ its_yn_ln i’m gonna have to undergo pr training after this, aren’t i?

→ alex_albon yes

→ logansargeant yes

→ williamsracing yes

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mickschumacher just posted

liked by georgerussell63, its_yn_ln and others 

mickschumacher silverstone 🇬🇧

3,470 comments

pierregasly i have not heard from Yn since these were posted

georgerussell63 can we check nearby holes in case Yn tripped into one

→ its_yn_ln this is why lewis is my favourite merc member

→ georgerussell63 not mick?

→ its_yn_ln i decline to answer that 

alex_albon somebody check on Yn, please

→ landonorris she seemed fine when i passed hospitality. she was enjoying her lunch ;)

→ logansargeant again? interesting. i knew there was a reason she was hiding from williams this weekend

→ charles_leclerc @/pierregasly pay up 

maxverstappen1 why am i reading through mick’s comment section?

→ danielricciardo because we all like seeing Yn getting teased

→ its_yn_ln you’re both off my christmas card list

williamsracing please release your hold on our driver

mercedesamgf1 mick, as much as we love you, we have a couple of admins demanding someone back

→ mickschumacher no thanks

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its_yn_ln just posted

liked by mickschumacher, alex_albon and others 

its_yn_ln when you both get a weekend off and he finally takes you on the picnic he’s promising for the past month 

3,666 comments 

alex_albon it’s not funny when you embrace it

→ its_yn_ln it’s not funny anyway?

→ georgerussell63 not true

→ its_yn_ln @/carmenmmundt leave him

→ alex_albon stop telling our girlfriends to leave us

→ its_yn_ln stop being douchebags then

user11 guys hear me out. what if it’s mick?

→ user12 feels like you're taking a joke just a tad too seriously

→ user13 no, no, let her talk 

landonorris another day, another slay

→ its_yn_ln let’s get you back to the home, grandma

→ landonorris only if we take you back to the fracture clinic

→ its_yn_ln i fell one time! 

→ oscarpiastri it was twice

→ mickschumacher when was the second?

danielricciardo who’s car was coolest?

→ its_yn_ln mine, i had a daytona

→ mercedesamgf1 whoa, he’s building a merc so he clearly wins

williamsracing we get palpitations every time we see your name trending on twitter

→ its_yn_ln i read the pr manual, this doesn’t break the rules! 

→ williamsracing that doesn’t mean we trust you! 

→ logansargeant ouch. and i thought it was just my heart they broke 

user11 okay so she mentioned them both getting a weekend off, it’s the first weekend without a race after the triple header so he’s obvi a driver 

→ user11 then they’re building lego cars. what do mick and yn do for a living? drive cars

→ user11 and then she used a warning slippery floor sign for a meme when the whole internet  has been teasing her for falling over when she first met him 

→ its_yn_ln the fbi needs to hire some of y’all

lilymhe answer my texts, please!!! and thanks xx

mickschumacher looks like a fun weekend

→ its_yn_ln it was! 

→ user14 this is such a bland interaction

→ user11 it’s obvi deliberate babe. they’re trying to throw us off

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mickschumacher just posted

liked by its_yn_ln, sebastianvettel and others

mickschumacher how could i resist when she literally fell for me 

4,774 comments

its_yn_ln i hate you 

→ mickschumacher that’s not what you were whispering in my ear in that photo 

lilymhe the cutest

→ its_yn_ln whoa, what about us?

→ lilymhe you never fell over for me

→ alex_albon you’re not mick schumacher 

georgerussell63 you can put her down, she’s definitely not going to run away from you 

→ mickschumacher yes but if her feet don’t touch the floor then she can’t fall 

its_yn_ln at least i know you’ll be around to catch me <3

→ landonorris this is gross. go back to publicly humiliating yourself 

→ its_yn_ln just because i have more rizz than you 

→ landonorris not sure how

→ mickschumacher she’s cute. you’re not 

mercedesamgf1 where is your protective gear?

→ its_yn_ln i told you that we'd get in trouble if you posted that 

→ mickschumacher but i wanted everyone to see how good you looked on top of my bike 

→ alex_albon please stop. i can't take anymore giggling

→ logansargeant and i have to listen to her gush about you 

→ williamsracing we are all suffering 

→ its_yn_ln vengeance! this is what happens when you cyberbully me

charles_leclerc this doesn't make her seem very hardcore!

→ its_yn_ln you take that back! i have a reputation to maintain

→ mickschumacher darling, i think you ruined that reputation months ago when we met

f1 and they said being a development driver was only good for getting a seat

→ user16 f1 bringing together true loves

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

Tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @evie-119

Requests for F1 smau's are open. You can see who I write for on my masterlist :)

[absolutepokemontrash]

I’m just imagining MC trying to curb the brothers’ more dangerous sinful urges, both for their own good and the good of the people around them, but it doesn’t always work out, and MC needs to settle for small victories.

Mammon: Gah! Human! It’s in my DNA! I’m hardwired to want things! I’m the demon of greed dammit! I want to steal!

MC: No! No theft!

Mammon: Not even one bit of grand larceny? ONE jewellery store???

MC: NO!

Mammon: MC-

MC: OH FOR THE LOVE OF- go rob that fucking vending machine to get the urges out! Shoo! Shoo!

Mammon: *grumbles on the way to shake the shit out of a vending machine*

——————

MC: So this is called Chess Boxing, you can stimulate your brain in between giving it blunt force trauma, and inflicting it on your opponent!

Satan: I don’t know, MC… I’m not sure if I’ll like i-

*elapsed time: 3 minutes*

Satan, covered in blood, both his own, and otherwise: WOOOOO! CHECKMATE, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!

Random wrath demon, on the floor: *shaky thumbs up*

—————

MC: This is called competetive eating, Beel.

Beelzebub: So I need to eat all of these humans eating those tacos before the timer runs out. I don’t know, MC, that sounds easy.

MC: Beel- no- you’re eating the tacos. It’s a competition to see who can eat more food, not people.

Beelzebub: Ohhhhh, that sounds much better! :3

————

MC: So instead of being such a dick-

Lucifer: You love it.

MC: Shut up. Anyway, instead of being such a dick, you can channel your pride into other things, like putting your brothers’ report cards up on the fridge!

Lucifer: MC, I would do that if they got anything worth being proud of.

MC: Maybe you can be proud of yourself for investing in a fucking tutor then, Ms Trunchbull.

————

MC: Belphie- Belphie wake up, we need to find something more sustainable to channel your sloth into.

Belphie: *snore*

MC: …you are a drain on my mental energy.

*MC is immediately swatted by Belphie’s tail*

————

MC: Hey Asmo, you know those incredibly detailed dirty roleplay stories you text me on a regular basis?

Asmo: How could I forget~?

MC: Yeah yeah yeah, so do you want to stop traumatizing me with those and go write a dark romance novel that’ll make some booktok girlie scream over?

Asmo: Oooooo… tempting~!

————

MC: Hey Levi, why don’t we envy something attainable so you have something to work towards? Like showering more!

Leviathan: What..? What’s this all about??

MC: I’m just trying to help you grow beyond constantly feeling envy to everyone around you, because you’re pretty great, Levi!

MC: And you can start showing the world you’re great by showering more!

Leviathan: MC, I don’t know…

MC: Watch, you can envy how much I don’t stink! Levi, please, you smell like moldy Monster Energy…