#we also just changed his food so maybe that’ll help :( idk what to do now :(

[deklo]

my poor little dog is so sad and uncomfy lately :( he was doing so well but whatever is wrong with him is back and now he’s MISERABLE

[kenny-power]

Gas Station Coffee

Sodapop Curtis x Reader

Warnings: slight use of language,

Fluff

A/N - this is my first imagine for The Outsiders. IDK if anyone would actually read this, but please feel free to vote or comment, just so I know you're there! I also will try my best to keep the imagines gender-neutral to include everyone. Thanks so much!

✨✨✨

If there was anything I hated more than working the night shift of the rowdiest diner in town, it's the walk home. Feet sore, smelling like ketchup and stale coffee - it was the worst part of my mornings. Of course, I could get a car, but then I wouldn't be able to afford food for a couple of months. And I won't even think about asking for a ride home, the people who hang around the diner in the late hours of the night and early hours of the day are always unpleasant, coworkers included.

So, that leaves me stuck with walking home. Honestly, I'm probably being dramatic. The walk from the diner to my single-story family home is only about 30 minutes, 25 if I'm feeling particularly motivated (meaning I have something at home that I need to study for before taking a quick nap and going to school). Being a senior in high school and having to single-handedly support myself and my little brother is a real drag. It's tough, but it's life and if I don't do it, then nobody else will. Because there is no one else.

I never knew my father, and from what I gathered, he was a real bum. My ma is a different story. She was the light of my life, my best friend. As little as our small family had, she made the most of it. That is, until she passed away last year. Cancer is a bitch.

Anyways, tonight's shift was a hard one. There's a rodeo in town for the weekend, so the amount of customers there was more than double, yet the tips still sucked. I had gotten yelled at and berated by so many different people over the littlest of things. If I didn't need this job to survive, I would've quit a long time ago.

My head is pounding. Golly, I need a coffee.

Just in luck, I was about to pass a DX station. Now if I could help it, I would steer clear from coffee from a gas station, something about it is always a little off. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and I couldn't afford to be picky with the quality of my coffee.

Sighing heavily, I trudge into the station. The bell above the door rang cheerily, signaling my entrance. Faintly, I heard the person covering the front counter groan quietly. I stifled a laugh, I would probably have the same reaction to a customer coming in at 6:30 in the morning.

I made my way to the back of the store, straight for the beat-up coffee machine. Grabbing an insulated cup, I put it under the dispenser and waited for it to fill with the beverage. Yawning, I pick up the now full cup and trudge my way over to the checkout counter. Setting the coffee done on the counter, I start to rummage around in the apron I'm still wearing, looking for loose change.

"That'll be 35 cents," a male voice says softly. Pulling the change out, I finally look up to hand it over. I make eye contact with the cashier and, I kid you not, he was the prettiest boy I have ever seen. He gives me a faint smile and I realize I still haven't given him the change.

"Oh, sorry!" I say quickly, putting my quarter and dime in his outstretched hand, our fingers barely brushing. A small electrical jolt runs through our fingertips and we make eye contact again.

"Rough night?" He asks, gesturing to my unruly hair and stained Dingo uniform.

"Ugh, yes," I groaned, trying to comb through my hair with my fingers. "There's a rodeo in town this weekend and apparently everyone there wants to eat at the Dingo." He laughed a little and my heart skipped a beat. What a beautiful sound.

"You work at the Dingo?" He asked.

"Every week-night and during the day on weekends."

"Wow, that's a lot. You look don't look old enough to have a full-time job. Do you go to school anywhere?" I smiled wearily, I get this question all the time.

"I'm a senior at the high school, I just work a lot to support me and my little brother." The boy's face brightened. What a truly beautiful sight.

"I do the same thing! I work here to help my brother Darry with the bills, only I don't go to school anymore." I smiled at his excitability.

"How very noble of you, brother-of-Darry."

"It's Sodapop, actually." He said.

"That's your actual name?" I asked.

"Says so on my birth certificate," he replied.

"What a wonderful name," I said, "very original." His face colored red.

"Well, my pops was an original person," he said proudly.

I told him my name.

"It suits you, except for that last name bit. Bet I could convince you to change it." Now it was my turn to blush.

"Are you flirting with me, Sodapop?"

"What if I am?" He asked, leaning his elbows on the counter and getting closer to me. "What you gonna do about it?" My heart fluttered inside of my chest and If I could have any turned redder, I probably would have. I cleared my throat, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Oh my, you are too much." I checked the watch on my wrist for the time. "Oh shoot, I need to go home." I smiled at him and turned to leave, coffee in my hand.

"Wait!" He said, catching my arm. "Can I see you again?"

"Maybe," I said, raising my coffee cup in a toast and smiling at him. "Bye, Sodapop." I stepped out of the DX and took a sip of my drink. Disgusting.

Yet, I somehow knew that I'd be coming back for more gas station coffee.

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[kittybellestark]

Idk if u did that before but can u write something like tony getting drunk to down all his frustration and taking all of it on peter, like saying some mean/hurtful stuff to peter, and when Tony wakes up he remembers what he did and have to make up with Peter because Peter was trying to get out of his way? If u can’t it’s ok but I think you’ll be AMAZING! Anyways thank u!

Hi !! I haven’t written anything like this yet but I certainly can now !!

I’m sorry this took so long, I had a very difficult time writing the apology part but a week later I finally did it !

Hope you enjoy and this is what you were expecting :)

Side note: this physically hurt me to write

-

Tony needed a drink. More than a drink. He needed to drown in his sorrows and spend a week alone before re-emerging and pretending things are better than ever. And that should have been fine. Just a night. Or two. The weekend even.

He didn’t have any commitments, Pepper was pissed at him, sure, but that’s why he has all this free time now. To de-stress, or just to get out of Pepper’s hair.

Regardless, Tony finally got his drink.

And he may have consumed more than what he initially planned too. But he’s alone and it’s fine. He can get blackout drunk and dance to bad music in his living room while wishing for death and hating everything outside.

It should have been fine. It would have been fine.

The elevator doors open as Tony is looking out the windows.

“Fuck off Platypus, I told you I’m fine.” Tony spat.

“Oh, sorry, Mr Stark, is this a bad time?” Peter asked.

Tony rolled his eyes, well passed black out by now. It was clearly not a good time for Peter to be here and Tony felt himself getting more irritated with Peter being here while he was like this.

“Obviously, Peter, what the fuck are you even doing here?”

“Are you okay, Mr Stark? Let me get you some water.”

“I don’t want your fucking help. You’re a child, get out.”

Peter snorted as he dropped his bag, moving over to the bar and pouring Tony a glass of water. He brought it over to the adult with Advil in his other hand.

“Drink this, have some Advil, you’ll regret it otherwise.”

“What do you even want? Why are you here?”

Tony tried shoving the cup away, moving back to the bar and drinking more whiskey.

“Clearly, I’m here to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. Don’t drink that.”

“You’re such a child. Let me drink what I want. The stick up your ass isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

Peter grabbed the drink from Tony’s hand putting it back where it belongs and tried passing the water again.

“Yeah not like the alcohol you’re drinking. That’ll totally get you to an early grave.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck off.”

“You’re just using me. I’m taking you off my will. You want me dead so that you could have my money.”

“That’s not funny Mr. Stark. We’re not playing this game tonight.”

Tony snorted pushing himself away from the bar and away from Peter making it to his bedroom.

“You are trying to kill me. You want my money and you’re playing the long game. I’m not having it anymore. Get out.”

“You’re right, Tony, I just kill adult after adult so I can get my inheritance. I killed my parents, I sued Skip so badly he wish he were dead, I killed Ben. I’m killing May next then you. Clearly my life is money obsessed. I have no emotional connection to any of them. Clearly.”

“Better people have done worse.” Tony shrugged.

“I’m sure.” Peter laughed.

“Now that we established you’re a murderer.”

“I’m not a murderer.”

“You kiss ass.”

“Many people have complimented my ability to kiss ass. So maybe try harder if you want to insult me.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“You never do.”

Peter finally managed to lead To y out of the living room and into his own room, and onto the bed. As soon as Tony hit the mattress he was asleep and Peter left him alone.

-

A week later and Tony still didn’t remember what happened. No clue that Peter had even shown up while drinking. That night should have been fine and alone.

Tony was working in the lab when Peter finally arrived sitting down a little more forcefully than normal. He just tossed his backpack carelessly rather then dropping it into it’s place.

“Bad day at school?” Tony asked, smiling at the boy.

“Nope.” Peter huffed.

“So what crawled up your ass then?”

Peter’s whole body tensed, an angry creeping up his neck and painting his cheeks. Peter’s eyes grew glassy as he tried not to angry cry.

“I didn’t appreciate the way you spoke to me last week. It was mean and really hurt. I recognize that some of things I said were immature and wrong and I apologize for that, but I should not have been put into a position where I had to act as an adult.”

Tony tried recalling what Peter was talking about but had no memory of even seeing Peter the week previous.

“Peter, I genuinely don’t remember seeeing you last week-“

“You were drunk, Mr. Stark. If you don’t remember it’s fine, just forget I said anything.”

“No, Peter it isn’t fine. I’m sorry I don’t remember and that I hurt you. You don’t deserve it and I’m sorry that I was the one that hurt you.”

Peter shook his head and Tony felt his heart break. He couldn’t believe that he allowed himself to hurt Peter in such a way. Tony felt like such a failure.

“You can’t give a genuine apology for something you don’t even remember. It’s fine.”

-

By the next morning Tony had reviewed all of the footage of his drunken night and he felt like a failure. Tony had become his own father, he was everything he never wanted to be. Tony is Peter’s Howard. He hurt his kid in the way he always wanted to avoid. Tony felt like he was the abusive asshole Howard once was, but he didn’t want to be the coward he once was either.

When Peter had finally awoken and went to the kitchen, Tony had made all Peter’s favourite breakfast foods, French toast, waffles, pancake and cinnamon rolls, bacon and scrambled eggs, muffins and croissants, quiche and omelettes, there was tea and hot chocolate and apple juice and orange juice. Tony had also already ordered Peter’s favourite snacks and lunch foods and candied for later, among many, many other things to try to apologize.

Peter walked out of his room, shocked at all the food. With Tony standing in the middle of it all.

“Uh, Mr. Stark? What’s with all the food? Are you throwing a breakfast party? A brunch? because I can go get changed.”

“It’s not a party. It’s an apology. Or, well, apart of one. I’m an asshole and I know what I said to you and I’m sorry. I was in a bad spot and really insecure and that doesn’t excuse how I treated you. You are my kid and you don’t ever deserve to have anyone to treat you the way I did.”

Peter shifted uncomfortably, feeling weird being apologized too. He wasn’t quite sure how to proceed, and Peter could tell Tony wasn’t sure what to do either.

“You don’t have to forgive me, I was an asshole and I don’t expect it. I just want you to know I’m sorry.”

“Uh, it’s fine. We all are insecure sometimes, right? And sometimes we take it out on the people we care about. I can forgive you for this one, but you do it again and it’ll take a lot more than just this for forgiveness. Okay?”

Tony nodded, glad that he hadn’t ruined everything with Peter.

“We have to hug now, it’s the law, Mr. Stark.”

Tony laughed raising his arms, inviting Peter to a hug.

“Oh, geez, we can’t go breaking the law now, Roo.”

Peter moved over finally getting to hug Tony.

-

Taglist: dm or send an ask if you want to be added

@peterbeanie @jean-and-diet-coke @dead-inside-pt2 @they-were-cloudsinmycoffee  

[punkscowardschampions]

Mattie & Jay

Mattie: I am, as of about 54 seconds ago, freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mattie: Finally, although that Geography exam was MUCH easier than the 7 hour lock-in vibe we had for our Art project 😨😱

Mattie: The hand cramp might be permanent, I’ll never be able to hold a pen or a pencil again… What a shame 😏

Jay: The news I’ve been waiting for, I can’t hear about another bloody exam, Mats

Jay: not yet old enough to look back fondly, you know 😬

Jay: Can help you think of a more top drawer excuse not to get a summer job in publishing though

Mattie: but old enough it is but a distant memory 😆

Mattie: um yeah right, dad knows my summer plans do not involve a single book this year, not even the trashy beach read

Jay: Yeah, yeah, I’m in the winter of my life and you’re about to have the summer of yours 🤫

Jay: Not even a travel guide? Boooo 👎

Mattie: Winter is a little harsh

Mattie: but it’s the end of August, definitely

Mattie: you’re such a 🤓

Mattie: I already know where I’m going

Jay: Ouch x 2

Jay: but go ahead and tell me your plans then

Mattie: Noah loves it

Mattie: How many countries are you trying to tick off yourselves this summer?

Jay: He loves to spend a week in each, with 3-4 days as a rule of thumb per city but some are doable in 2, I’ll be able to budge him and keep you posted

Mattie: That sums you both up so well

Mattie: You know where to direct my postcards

Mattie: Well, I will *hopefully* be spending some time in Switzerland, if all goes well

Jay: Um… that’s a winter destination, we’re discussing summer here

Mattie: Who asked you to write the rulebook, Miss 🤔🤪

Mattie: Switzerland still very much exists in Summertime, it looks beautiful, actually

Mattie: But I do have a reason for going

Mattie: Reasons

Jay: I’m getting the feeling that those reasons aren’t summer glacier skiing in St Moritz and the melted mountain snow making the Rhine Falls a must visit

Jay: so, which boy has keys to his parents' holiday place and how long have you wanted this scenario to play out?

Mattie: Whilst those are all undoubtedly excellent reasons, definitely worthy of a best-selling beach read, so maybe you should pitch them to dad instead actually…

Mattie: You know our actual mum ended up having those twin girls, when I was like 3 and you were what, 9 or 10? Obviously you know but anyway

Mattie: And we’ve not had contact with them because it might make us super emo and dad and the grandparents didn’t really want us having contact with real mum because it’d be damaging, potentially

Mattie: Well, I’m finally gonna do it, schools over, I’m an adult now too

Mattie: And she isn’t Benny’s mum, they aren’t his sisters, so I don’t feel like I have to wait for him to age up to do this

Mattie: They board in Switzerland, assumedly they’ll be back for the Summer, they have a house here too but I’d like to go see them there, as that’s where they spend most of their time

Mattie: If they want to, grandma has to set it up but she will now I’ve said I want to

Jay: Mattie

Jay: slow down

Jay: When did you decide this?

Mattie: I’ve been thinking about it seriously since I was about 16

Mattie: but then they would’ve been 13 and I don’t think anyone needs any more potential angst and drama at that age, it wouldn’t have been fair

Mattie: You can’t say you’ve never thought about it, surely?

Jay: What did dad say when you told him?

Mattie: He didn’t say I couldn’t, or shouldn’t

Mattie: Obviously he had plenty of words of warning about her

Mattie: and I respect his experience, of course

Jay: but you’re going to do it anyway

Mattie: It’s different

Mattie: I’m not going to be in a relationship with her, or ask her to raise any children

Mattie: I just want to meet her

Jay: Meeting her is inviting her to have a relationship with you, why would you want to open that door? It’s closed for a reason

Mattie: Because I want to know her, who she is

Mattie: even if it’s bad, she’s still half of me, us

Mattie: And if she was that keen to form a relationship with us, she would’ve tried long before now and we’d know about it

Mattie: That’s evidently off the table

Jay: Off the table when she didn’t want it, but when you show up wanting it, that’s her way in, that’s who she is

Mattie: It’s been a long time

Mattie: Like my whole life and I’ll be 19 soon

Mattie: She’s clearly got her own life that she’s happy with, she’s still with the twins dad

Mattie: I’m not saying you have to come if you don’t want to

Jay: People don’t change that much

Jay: she’s happy, they’re bound to be miserable

Mattie: All the more reason to meet them

Mattie: but we don’t know that, Grandma would’ve told me if they were, I think

Mattie: and done something about that, more to the point

Mattie: And Dad changed, people can, I don’t think that blanket statement is fair

Jay: No, she tried to change him and couldn’t, he met Ava and was allowed to be himself

Jay: Grandma has kept us away from them as agreed, if she really thought you should meet, she’d have done something about that

Mattie: She didn’t want us to be jealous, as kids

Mattie: and that makes sense

Mattie: but I’m not now and I’m not trying to steal their life or anything like that

Mattie: I know she did a lot wrong, to dad, to us and in general but that doesn’t change the fact I want to do this

Jay: It doesn’t make sense to me that you’d want to do this

Mattie: I know you feel differently

Mattie: and I get it, for you

Mattie: It’s just weird to me that they’re out there and I’ve basically never met her, never mind the twins

Mattie: Why wouldn’t I do that, if I have the chance to

Jay: Them maybe, but she doesn’t need to be involved if Grandma is helping you

Mattie: I have no idea if she will want to see me

Mattie: but I want to know that I reached out to her too

Jay: Like you said, if she wanted to, she could’ve

Jay: I don’t want you getting hurt

Mattie: I know you don’t

Mattie: and I do appreciate the concern, no sarcasm intended

Jay: Yeah, none detected

Mattie: I’ll be fine, I promise

Mattie: I have no expectations so I can’t be let down

Jay: If you had 0 you wouldn’t be reaching out, you’ve been thinking about this for years, of course there’s some expectation there

Jay: be careful

Mattie: I just want to know what they’re like, whatever that entails

Mattie: Obviously if she/they refuse to see me, that’ll be disappointing

Mattie: but I don’t think Grandma would’ve offered if there was no chance they’d also be into it

Mattie: Assumedly, they’ve discussed this possibility too

Mattie: I’m always careful, it’s my middle name 😋

Jay: Your middle name is unsuspecting or unjaded, something like that

Mattie: A prefix, how classy 💅

Mattie: What’s yours?

Jay: Take the un away and boom, there’s mine

Mattie: Oh, slightly unoriginal when it came to me then

Mattie: could’ve been like Jay ‘this baby is definitely yours’ Pemberton-Howard

Jay: That’s what happens, originality goes out of the window in favour of cutesy matching

Jay: and there’s no need for my middle name to do the work my actual already did

Mattie: Benny is lucky there’s been no 2nd child in his case

Mattie: I’ll just be here languishing in the forgotten middle 🥺

Mattie: At least Jay is a decent name, compared to her usual naming style, a win there

Jay: Yours is fine too, since Tilly never stuck

Mattie: Not on paper though

Mattie: Let’s just pretend your official name is Jacinta or something too 😆

Jay: Let’s not

Mattie: Alright spoilsport

Mattie: Keep your cool name 😎

Mattie: They can call me Mathilde, so Swiss

Jay: She owes me that much at least, for everything you don’t remember

Mattie: You can tell me about it

Mattie: when you feel like it

Jay: I’d be a proper spoilsport doing it now

Mattie: Of course not

Mattie: I told you I’m not going into this with 🤩

Jay: You’re doing this to find out for yourself what she’s like

Mattie: Partially

Mattie: Doesn’t mean you can’t talk about your experience with her too

Jay: It means there’s no point talking about it, you won’t be talked out of anything and I definitely won’t feel any benefit

Mattie: Fair enough

Mattie: So tell me what you guys have been up to

Mattie: Now I can think about anything that isn’t my exams

Jay: You mean well, but I remember her like a kid, I hate her and I am afraid of her like a kid, it’d sound crazy

Jay: maybe unreliable should be my middle name

Mattie: That makes sense, you have nothing else to go on

Mattie: and the potential risk of finding out what she’s like now outweighs any potential reward for you

Mattie: I do understand, it’s just different for me, that’s all

Mattie: It doesn’t mean either of us is wrong

Jay: I’m so glad it’s different for you, seriously

Mattie: I won’t say I’m so sorry for you

Mattie: because that sounds the opposite of how I want it too

Mattie: but you know

Jay: Yeah, don’t ever say that 😏

Mattie: anyway, you’ve turned out alright

Mattie: mostly 😉

Jay: Oh thanks

Jay: I’ve just been working btw, no news to rival yours

Mattie: Ahh, the joys of being old

Jay: Less cheek if you want to get to my age

Mattie: Sorry but sound like less of a grandma 😅

Mattie: You can redeem your cool and youthful points by helping me pick what to wear to the leaving party tonight

Jay: Surprised you want my help, but sure 😎

Mattie: It’s not my usual crowd that’s throwing it

Mattie: but like the entire year is invited, so I can’t not go

Mattie: I’ll need a little help to match the vibe, I think

Jay: Okay so expensive but not attention-seeking

Mattie: Definitely

Mattie: There’ll be enough people looking for attention without me even making that attempt, no thank you

Jay: What do you have rn that’s vintage or looks classic?

Mattie: [selection from your own wardrobe and Ava’s]

Mattie: 😬😬😬 idk how I’m going to decide in time

Jay: You should decide on the last one and keep your hair and make up lowkey, but the one before that if you’re thinking of a statement eye or lip

Mattie: A statement lip is not lasting the celebrations

Mattie: and I mean 🥂 not 💋 before you start

Jay: 💋 proof works for 🥂 too

Mattie: you have a point 🤔

Mattie: Ugh, I need food before I can concentrate

Jay: Before you go…

Jay: whenever you talk to the twins, ask them if they want to meet both of us

Mattie: Of course if they want to meet me they want to meet you too, dummy

Jay: It’s not a no from me, is what I meant though

Mattie: Okay, I will let them know

Mattie: I’m sure they will, why wouldn’t they

Jay: If she’s lied about us and Grandma hasn’t been allowed to say anything, they could think all kinds of things

Mattie: If they’re anything like me they’ll wanna find out for themselves

Mattie: besides, you were a little kid, I was a literal infant, what kind of shady bitches could we have really been, wouldn’t add up

Jay: We don’t know anything about what they’re like yet

Mattie: Come on though

Mattie: Who says no thanks to surprise cool older sisters

Jay: Venus

Mattie: Oosh, fair point

Mattie: I was mostly joking anyway, time will tell, they’ll be who they are and we’ll see if they want to know us too

Jay: Yeah, it’s out of our control

Mattie: and that’s okay

Mattie: breathe 😌

Jay: I’m fine, I’ve done this before

Mattie: True

Mattie: It’s a bit different this time though

Jay: Easier because we’re all older and I’m not getting a 3rd dad as well

Mattie: No luck on a different mum, I’m afraid

Mattie: We look a bit alike and that has to come from somewhere

Mattie: But seriously, don’t you think being younger was easier?

Mattie: like you can’t fully wrap your head around any of it so you just roll with it

Mattie: maybe that’s totally wrong

Mattie: it didn’t happen to me so I don’t know

Jay: I already had Ava and Rio when I needed one

Jay: being a little kid made it overwhelming and scary

Mattie: I’m sorry I couldn’t do much but cry and be annoying in various other ways a toddler is

Jay: How much you cried around her used to be my favourite thing about you, don’t apologise

Mattie: Well, it was my pleasure 😅

Mattie: and 🤞 I’ve gone up a bit in your estimations since for more than just 😭

Jay: Maybe a little bit, I suppose

Mattie: Charming 😏

Mattie: I’m feeling a tantrum coming on now anyway

Mattie: Couldn’t eat before that exam and now I’m hangry 😡😡🤬

Jay: I remember you saying you needed a 🍼

Jay: we can talk later, when you’re too hungover from the leavers party to call me an old dork or whatever else, that’s fine

Mattie: Attack when I’m weak 😲 rude, smart but rude

Mattie: I’ll try not to buttdial you past your bedtime, grandma 🤙✌️🤟

Jay: Noah’ll appreciate it, undoubtedly

Mattie: If that was an attempt to throw him under the bus as the old nerdy one

Mattie: Both can be true

Mattie: match made in heaven

Jay: Bye, Mattie

Mattie: Love you 💗💗

[cabinofimagines]

It’s Delicate (Jason Grace xFem!Reader)

A/N: *Walks in with an iced coffee and sunglasses on* So you guys won’t believe the YEAR that I had, but I’m ending it on a good note and with Christmas specials, so the bad vibes can SUCK IT (also Jason and reader are like 20y/o in the story and for reasons they live in New York)

Words: 1,620

Warnings: Angst. But not really. Look, idk what I did but i TRIED- (this is not proofread so beware the mistakes.

Request: Can you pls do a Jason Grace x Reader? Where Jason says something during an argument that'll hurt the reader and they don't make up then Reader almost dies in an attack and he's going to think that it was probably the last thing he said to reader before reader dies but reader lives in the end. Really angsty, please? Lmaoi hope u understand what i just sent u // How about a songfic with Taylor Swifts delicate with Jason x reader?

This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe?

Jason gets the call from Chiron five minutes after he gets home from the busy streets of the city.

Y/N was attacked while going on a quest on her own. Badly. He’s not sure she’ll make it.

He hangs up and sits on the couch, the shock of the news force him to stay still for a moment, trying to process what his old mentor just said.

Y/N was attacked.

She won’t make it.

And all he can think about is how the last thing he said to her was “Sometimes I wonder why are we still together.”

He fucked up, Y/N stormed out of their bedroom and left the apartment without a word, He’d assumed she was staying at camp since it was the second place she thought of as her home besides their place. He hadn’t visited her all those days cause he thought it was better if he kept his distance for a while, they would make up before Christmas anyway.

Phone lights up my nightstand in the black Come here, you can meet me in the back Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you

Jason spends the next hour calling Piper and Leo, the panic slipping through his voice while he tells them he has to go to camp but he doesn’t want to be alone cause Y/N is dying and he can’t do it, he can’t say goodbye like this. His friends tell him that they’ll be there in a couple of hours and that he just has to be strong in the meantime and go over at camp, that he can’t lose hope yet, cause Y/N might still survive.

He picks up a pair of dark jeans and his shoes, he changes quickly and grabs the keys of his car, passing by the mirror on the entrance. He stops to look at his reflection. It surprises him how utterly devastated he looks after a few hours of contemplating the possibility of losing his girlfriend. 

This scares him, he doesn’t want to know how will he look after a month without Y/N.

He stops a taxi and tells them indications of where they need to drive. The driver gives him a weird look but says nothing, obeying after Jason shows him the few dollars he has with him. 

While he’s inside the car with nothing else but his own thoughts, he can’t help but think of her, of how stupid he was when they fought.

Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) Is it cool that I said all that Is it too soon to do this yet?

“Jason for the last time, can you please just clean the table when you’re not working on your project?” Y/N asks, pushing away some blueprints and accidentally dropping some on the floor.

“Hey, can you at least be careful with those?” Jason retorts, standing up from the couch and leaving his laptop abandoned on the coffee table, “if I lose one the gods that are left with no altars will hunt me down”

“Well, is not my fault that you’re so messy,” She groans, sitting in front of her plate and staring at him, “I don’t like that you spend so much time doing those, you’ve been on this project since we were seventeen, Jason. You have to finish it.” 

“That’s what I’m trying to do,” He grumbles, harshly taking the blueprints from the table and walking away towards their room, “I work all the time so i can finish and you stop bickering about it.”

“Bickering?” Y/N asks offended, “excuse me? I’m just worried about you!”

“Really? Cause it sounds more like you’re tired of me” He replies from the bedroom.

Y/N stands up and goes to the room, she sees Jason there, carefully putting the blueprints inside a drawer.

“I’m not tired of you, don’t be stupid,” She crosses her arms, “I’m just sick of seeing these all over the house, why don’t you keep them in one place?”

“Cause they’re too many.”

“Well take some to camp, I know they’ll be safe back there.”

“I can’t, I need to have them with me in case I have to make changes.”

“Changes?” She huffs, “Jason, they don’t need changes, they need to be done.”

“I know that!” He groans, finally turning around and frowning, “it’s easy for you to say it, you’re not doing anything, you just go to school and come back here to eat and sleep, oh, how busy is your life.”

“Oh, shut up,” Y/N retorts, “you don’t know all the assignments I have to do to keep my good grades. And I wasn’t judging your productivity, by the way, but you’re just stressed and in a bad mood, so whatever, I’m not gonna fight with you.”

“Oh, you’re not gonna fight? You were the one who started,” He scowls, “you come home and you complain, we do nothing but fight and argue about the altars. Gods, sometimes I even wonder why are we still together.”

Long night, with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share 'Cause I like you

He arrives at camp at midnight, the snow outside the limits of camp cuts short where Thalia’s tree is, a clear sign of magic. He walks fast towards the big house, luckily for him, no harpies try to eat him and he gets to the door safely. He pushes it open.

“Chiron?” He asks out loud, “Mr. D?”

He walks towards the stairs and goes to the second floor, immediately he sees the light coming from one of the rooms on his right and get closer, opening the door without knocking.

Inside there’s a young demigod that he doesn’t know and Chiron in his wheelchair.

“You can go to sleep, Mylo,” Says the centaur, looking over at the young boy.

The demigod looks over at Jason in mild admiration. The younger groups do that a lot, knowing all about the prophecy of the seven, and how he and his friends saved the world. Jason gives him a polite smile and walks in, holding his breath.

Y/N is asleep, but her skin looks drained from any color and her lips look chapped. When he gets closer, Chiron starts to explain the situation.

“Y/N was in a mission to get rid of a group of Cyclops, one of their arrows went through her abdomen and another went through her shoulder blade. She got to escape and call for help but when we found her she was unconscious... Mylo did all he could to take care of her, he’s Apollo’s.”

Jason sat miserably on the chair where Mylo was moments ago, he carefully reached to touch her hair, with erratic movements he put a strand behind her ear and then held her hand tightly like it was the only thing keeping her tied to the mortal world.

“I’ll leave you alone,” Chiron left the room and closed the door behind him. 

Jason felt helpless, it all looked so definitive like everyone already had accepted Y/N’s death. He couldn’t, as long as her breathing was steady, he would have hope and he was determined to wait forever.

He needed her to stay.

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me?

Two days had gone by and Y/N showed no sign of waking up, Leo and Piper made sure to leave food so Jason would eat, sometimes even staying in the room with him and trying to cheer him up, but Jason never really paid attention to what they were saying, his eyes were on her all the time, waiting, hoping to see her move, or even talk in her sleep, anything that could let him know she was still alive.

Was she dreaming? If so, about what... was her mortal life or her demigod life? 

Did she dream about him? Maybe forgave him, or maybe she would once she woke up to him sitting next to her bed, always waiting for her. All he knew was that he was ready to say anything just to get her back, he would stop working, he would drop anything just to be able to see her smile one more time.

Yeah, I want you

It was Christmas Eve when the Gods heard his prayers.

His eyes opened slowly, the dim light passing through the window warmed the room, barely, since he still felt cold on the tip of his fingers. A distant whimper stirred him up, and it became stronger as he straightened up on his chair, staring at the girl without fully comprehending, his mind too fuzzy.

Then, Y/n opened her eyes, she frowned and tried to cover her face from the sun, but her hand was intertwined with Jason’s. When she felt it, her stare fixed on him.

“Jason?” She asked in a hoarse voice, “what..?”

“You’re awake,” He whispered.

Before she could add another word, Jason started rambling.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. What I said was stupid, and you were right, I was stressed and moody, and you were just worried... then you left...”

“Jason, I... I died?”

“No,” He shook his head, voice trembling, “no, you’re okay. You’ll be okay.”

“I...” Y/N stares at the bruises on her arms and the bandages around the torso, “I was reckless, going on my own. I’m sorry, I should’ve never...”

“You did what a demigod it’s supposed to do. You’re a hero. And I love you for that,” Jason lifted her hand carefully and kissed her knuckles, “I’ll always will. What I said, about not knowing why are we still together. It was a delicate subject but, I know now.”

Is it cool that I said all that Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) 'Cause I like you

“What is it, then?” His girlfriend asked quietly.

“It’s cause we want it that way,” He smiles, “because we’re meant to be. And I still like you so much...”

“I can’t argue against that,” She replied, with weariness, a faint smirk on her face.

“Yeah,” He grinned, cleaning the tears that were starting to fall, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Grace.”

Jason could now say, he got his own Christmas miracle.

[devourer--of--books]

So, I just started to play Obey Me! Shall We Date

And well, I have thoughts

Im currently stuck on the first levels of lesson 5, so my knowledge of the plot is limited to that + some spoilers I accidentally got while going though the obey me! tag. Do I have a deep understanding of this game? No. Am I gonna rant anyway? Yeah. See me do another one of these soon after I play it some more, but for now, I need to put this out there:

First, mechanics-wise, the first thing on my mind was "Mr. Love from Hell", which is honestly not too far fetched. Maybe it's because I'm playing in my old ass tablet (I need a new phone, this thing ain't gonna survive 2020) but it's just so slow??? I've tried downloading full data, and it kinda helped, but still, it just annoys me so much! It's not crashing like crazy (cof cof Love Island The Game cof cof) but it could be better, it takes forever to get the itens to level up cards because it just ????????? takes forever for them to load???? anyone else got this problem or it's just my device? Anyway, that aside, I quite like it, if you played MLQC, it's pretty easy to manage, and while it takes a bit more of attention to win battles, I think that's a good thing. Getting shards has a been a bitch, like, I keep on suffering with the loading and my competitive ass wants to finish begginer's missions, and again I think Mr. Love has spoiled me. Also, someone please tell me how to level up skills, because I have no idea???

Now, moving on to the actual tea: what do I think of these boys?

Let's go in order, shall we:

So, I open the app and I see Lucifer in all his red and black glory, furry cape, Dom-Daddy, Big D Energy for days and go "Oh, Demon!Nobunaga, fun!". I'm immediately drawn to him beacause Nobu was my first ever otome guy and while I eventually grew out of the whole "this man is so controlling and sexy and dark" phase, nostalgia ya know? So, turns out the vibe I keep getting from Lucifer is more like all those dark-kinky-Jumin-Han-fanfics (as in, the only parts of Jumin Han that I hate) rather than Nobu? Idk man, this guy just seems shady?? They all do honestly but Lucifer is just plain scary. Dude, I know you've got the whole "most-powerful-oldest-control-freak" going for you but, like, can you chill?

Yet I can't really blame him, cause, Veronica (that's my MC's name) why, girl???? She be going up those stairs, and I'm just ??? Real talk, I'm kinda of a rule follower? I don't wanna make this guy mad, man, all I wanna do is hit on Satan (which we shall discuss soon) and see some family drama shenanigans. Lucifer says "don't go up those stairs" I'd be like "okay???" because up until now he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him (aside from being shady)??? But I have no choice but go talk to Belphegor (don't even get me started on this one) and I can just tell I'm gonna get in trouble for this. Could I not get there accidentally? Do I have to go there against Lucifer's direct orders? I don't think this is gonna go well, I just don't wanna get on his bad side hskshskshk

Lucifer's room, however, is everything to me, the deco is lovely (skeleton aside) and that bed, maaaannnn

Mammon started really annoying but he's been growing on me. I have a soft spot for dumb bitches like him, I guess? He just cracks me up? Not to be cheesy, but I like him as a friend? Maybe that'll change in the future, who knows, but for now that's how I see him, the best friend guy who is gonna be in love with you in every single route (read, Seven, but dumber). Can't wait for the angst. Looks wise I kind got him mixed with Solomon at some point (my dumbass though it was a bug) but all those Surprise Guest moments have me thinking he's way cuter than I gave him credit for at first.

I always feel bad for ratting him out to Lucifer, but boy, you and Veronica practically share one single brain cell, okay? I need to get my girl into Lucifer's good graces, I ain't about that troublemaker life

Levi is gonna be brief: No. He's not my type (otome or real life wise) and he annoys me. He reminded me a bit of Yoosung at first, and I'm trying to power though it like I did with him, but I can't. He keeps dragging me into his stuff and it's not cute, it makes me resent Levi. I'm not much of a tsundere enthusiast by nature, and I really don't like when they portray fans and gamers in this kinda "I'm weird, look at me I'm so weird and different" light ("have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? that's weird" jsjdndmsksjdnsmskdjnddm). It comes across (to me at least) as childish and dumb (not endearing dumb, like Mammon). Idk, maybe I'll change my mind? Don't come for me, Levi stans

So Satan

I love Satan

Otome makes you say the strangest shit hm

Still. I haven't interacted much with him but I'm obsessed with this man. Let me date you, okay? You look like posh book-cat-candle super model I wish existed. Let's be petty together. Since I haven't been playing long I hope I don't end up regretting putting my heart and soul into loving you. I'm doing all kinds of jobs to get intimacy go up with him, because guyghbkhiugiygufgfydddyghvjgvjg I'm all about that soft dom energy he has going for him, it's basically everything I love about Jumin Ham, but less CEO and more cute-bookstore-guy. Ideally, Satan is 100% my type, even if not the usual otome route I take first. Also, he is the Avatar of Wrath, which, along with Pride, is my most prominent sin, so I might be projecting

Pls babe don't turn out to be terrible

Kay, so Asmo. Asmo gives me all the Shingen vibes but realistic Shingen. Like, of Shingen is all about worshiping his MC, Asmo looks like he wants to be worshiped himself. Not judging, tho. That thing he said about loving himself above all things, I feel like it was supposed to be shady but I kinda agree? He's onto something. All this self-sacrifing thing is so romanticized. Can't we all be in healthy non co-dependent relationships? Love yourselves, kids. Which is why, while I said Satan is my ideal type of man, in real life, most of the people I've been with are Asmos. That being said, that's why he doesn't really work as an otome LI for me (at least for now). I'm here to live a fantasy of dating demons, not to see my exes. He is tempting tho. Who doesn't want a friend to do face masks and fuck from time to time, no strings attached until, "oh no, we both caught feelings, whatever shall we do" and then have it end well? (can you tell I'm projecting? my therapist is gonna love this). Poor Asmo, it's not his fault. Darling I'm sure you'll turn out to be lovely

On Beel, not much. I'm not into him, at least for now. his personality so far is that he's hungry. So what, man. I'm not here for that either. I don't find food particularly fun or sexy, it's just here to keep us alive (unless it's sweets, sweets are the best, but I'm having to cut down on sweets so), so he's not doing much for me. Gotta wait for that character development I guess

And to end this rant, Belphegor. Bitch, I've seen you on my demon cards, don't you dare tell Veronica you're human. But she's a dumb hoe, my girl Veronica, so she just doesn't question it???? I swear, this girl. Shady doesn't even cut it with him. Sorry, you're telling me what to do? Dude, lol, you're lucky this is Veronica and not me, because I'd be out of there as soon as you started this bull about me doing pacts with demons to get your ass out of that room. Don't prey on my empathy, it pisses me off. Spoilers tell me he's like a human-hater or something? Boy, fuck you, okay? Am I going to end up loving him? Who knows. For now he can rot in that room for all I care

Anyway, that's pretty much my first impressions of this game. I'll be playing it for some more time, until I get up to date on lessons and story or until colleges comes to drag me to literal hell, whatever comes first

Peace, my dudes

[peter-parkourwrites]

Heartbreak Summer 3

Bucky Barnes x Reader, College AU

Summary: James Buchanan Barnes broke your heart two years ago. Now, after settling down finally in college with your group of old and new friends, he ́s transferred into your school, and maybe back into your heart.

Word Count: uhhh idk

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of death, slight thor x reader, jealous buckaroo, crying, fluff if you squint

A/N: TAG LIST IS OPEN!! Also uhhh sorry this is a lil late my laptop is broken and i can’t use the schools to post it here so i had to improvise and use my phone for it so thats also why it’s not edited completely 😤 but thank you for reading 💖

Feedback is always appreciated! Thanks for reading loves, I hope you guys like it!

*Gif not mine, credit to owner*

series masterlist

It’s hard to actually pinpoint the exact moment you fell for Bucky, it always has been. Maybe it was when you met. Steve had invited you and Wanda out to one of their highschool football games because he knew Tony would tag along, and you were almost certain he would ask if he was coming. That night he simply ignored anything anyone besides Tony said, leaving yourself, Bucky, Sam, and Wanda to chat. Bucky's whole aura made you giddy, he kept you on your toes and laughing. His blue eyes reminding you of an ocean, that you wouldn’t mind drowning in. Or maybe it was when he saw you walking home in the pouring rain and offered you a ride in his mom's minivan.

Sure, you tell people forever. But that’s only because you’re a bit prone to dramatics. James Buchanan Barnes had your heart, and always would. No matter how many people you dated, you’d always be his. And you realized that, lying awake at five am, the sunrise peeking in through the windows, and showing how much dust you really had in the small room.

“Steve I told you, it’s fine. I’m not mad. A little annoyed, but not mad. I just wish you would have told me.” You sighed, taking the cup of coffee his outstretched arm was holding. “Besides I am so over him. And I have more important shit to focus on than thinking about old flames.”

“What like school? Psh that shit is boring.”

“Wow I must be in another world, first Bucky comes back, and now Steve Rogers is saying ‘shit’? I should just head down to the psych unit in the medical department.” You tease, bringing the cup up to your lips.

“Please, (y/n/n) you work on that floor anyways.”

“Hey! It’s not by choice you idiot, my professor wants us to switch things up every few weeks. But thankfully I start my internship soon.”

“With professor Coulson?”

“Yeah.” You hum and walk over to the couch, that has a plethora of pillows tossed about. “Starting on the pediatric floor I think.” You mumble into the cup of coffee as you slowly lift it up to your lips for another ling sip.

Steve sits across from you on the old black recliner he’s had since you could remember. He loved that squeaky old thing. Even if everytime he actually reclined in it, it’d send him flying violently backwards.

“That’ll be cool, you’ve always been good with kids.”

“Only because of Becca, I called her earlier and told her about it, and she reminded me of when Bucky, you and I had to take care of her. Man that whole weekend was a mess.”

“Yeah we had to beg his parents not to leave us alone for the weekend ever again.” He laughed, crossing an arm over his chest like he was on SNL. You rolled your eyes and finished the rest of the coffee.

“Oh whatever, anyways thanks for letting me come over at ungodly hours.” You grinned, kicking your legs up on the rest of the couch and craning your head to the side to look at him. Steve nodded and placed his cup on the table.

“I’m always here to talk, you know that (Y/N).”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now.” You groaned, grabbing a pillow from beside you and tossed it at him. He caught it without a glance and turned on the TV. “Showoff…” You muttered, crossing your arms over your chest and turning to face the now illuminated screen, as a rerun of Law and Order started playing.

You and Steve lounged around for a good hour and a half, now being around seven. He got up to make breakfast for everyone while you clicked through the guide.

“You guys have shitty TV, this is all football.” You moaned, dramatically flopping against the back of the couch. “Don’t you guys ever watch anything interesting? Like The Simpsons, or Criminal Minds? At least one of you has to be a sucker for crime documentaries.”

“That would be me.” Sam announced his arrival as he walked out from the hallway and to the front door as a rapid knocking was heard. He pulled open the door and Tony came rushing in, hair disheveled and eyes wide.

“I thought you died!” He yelled, waving his arms around wildly in your direction.

“We told you she wasn’t dead.” Nat said with a groan as she walked in behind him, dragging a half asleep Wanda behind her. “Hey hun, he woke us up yelling that you were gone.”

“He made up,” Wanda yawned, “So many theories…” She groaned and flopped down on the couch, laying her head on your thighs. You chuckled and patted her forehead, continuing to scroll past the plethora of sports channels.

“Like what?” You asked, turning your head slightly to glance at Tony. He was having a hushed chat with Steve and turned his attention back to you, now holding a steaming cup of coffee.

“Oh ya know, you an Buckaroo getting back together, you got drunk and left the apartment without even knowing, or Thor had asked you to go over for a quickie.”

“Gross!” You hissed, chucking the remote at him. It went sailing past him and landed on the floor with a thud. “We do not have quickies.” You muttered, crossing your arms over your chest and letting out a huff of air.

“Hey does anyone know how Buck takes his coffee?” Steve asked, eyes scanning over the different creamers.

“Black with two sugars. Unless it’s from Starkbucks, then creamer. Says it’s too bitter” You said, the words flying out of your mouth before you could even stop them. The kitchen went silent and you faked innocence as Nat raised a brow at you for an explanation. “What?!” You yelped and raised your hand in defense. “We dated for three years, and it's not like it’s that hard to remember.”

“Uh-huh just keep telling yourself that you love sick fool.”

“Tony shut up I am not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No.”

“Yessss.” He said in a sing-song voice as Steve walked over with a plate of pancakes. Wanda sat up from your lap, only to move beside you. Nat sat on the floor next to Sam who kept picking food off her plate, you could have sworn Nat threatened to stab him at least twice. Steve sat in his usual recliner, and Tony sprawled out next to you on the couch.

“Jesus what did I miss?” Bucky’s raspy morning voice filled your ears, and you shuddered, a chill running down your spine. You shook it off by reaching for the syrup.

“Pancakes and yelling.” Wanda beamed up at him before grabbing the syrup from your hand. “Share.” She muttered, sending you a glare. You stuck your tongue out at her before beginning to dig in to your second pancake.

“(Y/N) never shares her food.” Bucky chuckled and began fixing two plates of food. Shooting him a cold glare, you finally looked at him. His long locks were an absolute mess, per-usual in the mornings, he had black basketball shorts, hanging low on his waist and he was shirtless. You gulped, your eyes not daring to scan his god like body.

But you failed, like usual. And oh you wished you hadn’t looked. He still looked as if he was sculpted by the gods, that much was obvious but there we small red and purple marks littering his collarbones. Hickies.

You gulped down the last bite of your food and with a shaky hand, placed the plate on the coffee table.

Sensing your mood change Nat sat up, but still chewed on her blueberry pancakes. Wanda already had a hand pressed up against your lower back, but you brushed her off as you stood up.

“Actually James, I do, just not with you.” You muttered, before walking over to your stuff. You pulled Thor’s sweatshirt from the back of your chair and slipped it over your head, then stuffed your phone into your pocket. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have class and I’d rather not be here when your little… plaything wakes up.” With that, you opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it shut. Then you took off down the hall to your own apartment and threw yourself in.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” You chanted, tripping over furniture, tears already spilling from your eyes.

You did have class, that much was true. Then you had a study group with some lower-classmen you were helping in biology. So you weren’t really lying, even if it was at noon, not eight in the morning. But you had to get out of there, you could barely hold yourself together seeing him alone after a one night stand, but seeing him with the girl? No way in hell you would have kept it together. Not like this.

You wiped the tears off your cheeks, rubbing under your eyes. Red cheeks replaced the pale ones you had moments before, and the bags under your eyes were way more noticeable. Turning on the faucet, you splash your face with cold water and run your fingers through your hair.

“Get it together…” You muttered, not even wanting to look at yourself in such a disheveled state.

-

“No that’s not right.” Peter’s voice became a distant memory, your head falling limp in your palm as you fought against the sleep that was pulling your eyelids closed.

After the mini reality check from earlier, you managed to take a quick shower, and throw your hair up into a ponytail. You looked presentable at best, but it was better than not showing up at all. You managed to toss on one of Thor’s old sweatshirts you stole, along with a pair of leggings, and some slippers. Because the weather was surprisingly cold for early fall.

“Sorry, what?” You blinked as MJ tapped your shoulder.

“Peter wants to know why blood sugar levels are so important.” She mumbled, not even sparing you a glance, her nose dug into a book.

“Because, Our blood sugar refers to how much glucose is present in the blood. Glucose is important for cells to be able to make energy and build other complex carbohydrates. However, too much glucose can be toxic for the body. So we need to know if it becomes too much, or too little. You should know this.”

“And you Miss (Y/N), shouldn’t be falling asleep.” Peter teased, sticking his tongue out at you as you shot him a glare.

“Listen kid, I didn’t sleep last night and I haven’t had enough coffee. Stark is dropping me off some.”

“Just get the coffee from the front desk.”

“Parker I am going to pretend you didn’t just say that. Library coffee is horrible. I need fresh brewed from home, or Dunkin.”

“Oh or that nice little place on Manhattan blvd.” Ned added and you nodded, shooting him a warm smile.

“Yes, the absolute best.”

“I heard my name.” Tony said with a grin as he placed the steaming cup in front of you.

“If you mean the absolute worst? Then yes, yes you did.”

“Harsh, I have been wounded. Maybe I’ll just drink this coffee myself.” The brunette mutters, pulling the cup just out of your reach and taking a small sip. You shriek violently and fling your textbook at him. Tony simply steps out of the way before shooting you a sly grin.

You let out an annoyed groan, standing up from the chair and picking up your textbook, and that's when Tony really sees what you're wearing.

He knows this small step back into what you used to be, like dipping your toe into the pool to test the water before diving in.

Under Thor’s blue sweatshirt, is one of Bucky's red henleys. He had plenty, they were his favorite shirt. And he’d be damned if they ever got stolen… by anyone other than you of course.

Tony's breath catches in his throat as you yank the sweater back over the fabric to refrain from prying eyes of passerbys, your friends, and most importantly Bucky.

“Y/N-”

“Please don’t…” You choke out, holding back a soft cry. He nods, understanding, but not ready to completely let it all go. He places a gentle hand on your wrist and waits for you to look up at him. Your eyes are slowly turning puffy and red, even more so than they already were. Your free hand is picking at imaginary lint and he lets out a sigh.

“Okay… not here.” He confirms and shakes his head at your pleading face, that's begging him to drop the subject completely.

Tony doesn’t give in to the puppy dog eyes that make everyone else but him and Natasha melt. He places a short peck to your forehead, hands you your coffee and walks off after saying a quick hello to Peter.

You clear your throat, take a small sip of the now lukewarm liquid and sit back down in the creaky hard chair.

“Sorry, where were we?” You ask, looking around the room instead of the freshman in front of you.

“Lets get some lunch.” MJ announces, abruptly standing up and shoving her books into her bag, clearly over the study session.

Of course she was done with the study session, anymore talk about isotopes and she might have exploded. But she also noticed how uncomfortable you got when Tony had started whispering to you. She had some inkling as to why. When you were a senior in highschool, she was a freshman. It was uncommon for the two classes to mingle but you and her got along great. Her, Peter, and Ned were tossed into an AP Calculus class, and you of course had gotten stuck with them. But it wasn't all bad, yourself and MJ had often made snarky comments towards the boys, and would mumble obscenities under your breath as the teacher would get things mixed up. MJ was observant, and quite the character, so when you and Bucky had split up, she knew it immediately.

Everyone was truly shocked when you both split. Bucky had left for Europe the day after, and you showed up to school, alone, with puffy eyes. She recalls when you were taking your final the next day you had ran out in the middle of it, tears pooling down your cheeks.

And she resented him a little for it, but then again she didn ́t know what happened, and she didn't know why, and she didn't know Bucky.

But it wasn't like it was rocket science to figure out that he was what had you so shaken up. MJ heard a rumor about him coming back, but refrained from saying anything because… a rumor is just that, a stupid rumor. And she didn't want to upset you if she didn't have to.

“I want the extra crispy grilled cheese.”

“You get that every time Ned.” MJ grumbled as she scanned over the blackboard that held all the options on the menu.

“Okay but it’s really good.” You chimed in grinning at MJ, you pulled out your wallet as everyone ordered and reached out to pay. Peter shrieked and smacked at your hand, shaking his head.

“No no no my treat, you always help us with studying and we don’t even pay you. Let me get this.”

“Such a gentleman…” You cooed, giving him a cheeky grin. “But its work study so I get paid anyways.” Peter simply shrugged you off and handed the cash to the cashier, who grunted in response. You recognized the kid from your Economics class, and attempted to wave but he simply turned away to grab your food.

~

“I still don’t see why you didn’t want to go out tonight.” Wanda muttered as she handed you a bag of goldfish to snack on.

“Because I have homework, and I have an econ test to study for. Plus it’s movie night.”

“Econ can suck my dick.”

“Who’s sucking whose dick?” Sam muttered as he flopped down on the love seat, hanging his feet off the side.

“Econ is sucking Wanda's dick because I didn’t want to go out.”

“Well it is movie night Wands, we can't just skip it.” Nat hissed, curling up on the longer couch, settling herself comfortably beside Wanda.

“Not like everyone shows up all the time.” Wanda muttered before leaning forward and cradling the warm cup in her hands. “Where the hell are Steve and the other asshole. Or were going to start without them.”

“Relax ladies we’re here.” Bucky announced, giving Sam and cheeky grin. He nudged his legs off the side to sit, but Sam shook his head and kicked his legs back up.

“What movie’s first?” Steve asked pulling out the large box of DVD’s from behind the TV stand.

It was a large clear plastic bin with half scratched off stickers. The memories of Becca sticking them all over Bucky’s things was fresh in your mind as you stared off into the distance. She’d constantly have any sort of glittery, scented, or stickers with her favorite foods on them. When Bucky had shown up to take you to prom, there was a pink glittery heart on his shoulder.

“I vote we watch Terminator.”

“Sam we always watch that movie.”

“Yeah well get used to it (Y/N) it’s a good movie.”

“Well I for one think we should watch The Princess Bride.” Wanda announced as she dug her hand into a bag of M&M’s.

“Nope, we’re watching The Lost Boys.” You said, standing up and grabbing the box out of Steve's hand. He rolled his eyes and stood up, moving to sit in your spot.

“That shitty eighties movie about the vampires? No thanks.” Sam groaned and took a handful of popcorn from the bowl. You scoffed, placing the disk in the player and turning to face him, your hands resting on your hips.

“Shut your trap, it’s a good movie.” You hissed, sticking your tongue out at him. He gave you a playful wink and turned his attention to the screen. Surveying the area around you, you noticed Steve was now occupying your seat. Pursing your lips, a small groan left your lips. The only empty seat was next to Bucky.

Unwillingly you trudged over and plopped down beside him, your heart obviously had a different plan from your brain.

Curling your legs up into your chest, and resting your head on your knees you relaxed as best as you could beside him and focused on the movie.

The movie played quietly in the background of your thoughts as you wondered why he came back. You thought he loved it over there, from what Steve had told you, he was having a wonderful time. But then again, Steve was never good with translating sarcasm. No matter if it was in person or over text. He sucked at it, plain and simple.

Bucky also wondered why he came back sometimes. He missed his friends, his sister, and his home… you.

Bucky had always lived a hectic life. He grew up beside Steve, ever since birth they had been close. Their mothers were friends so it was only natural the pair would become close.

Steve eventually went from a scrawny kid with asthma who had a knack for fighting bullies to, Steve the football player, no longer stricken with the burden of not being able to breathe. A chick magnet, who was so kind to girls it was almost unbelievable he hadn’t dated anyone.

And then Steve met Y/N. You became fast friends and Bucky could have sworn you knew one another since you were born just like him and Steve. He had met you in sophomore year. Three years, and Steve had finally introduced him to you. But it wasn’t just simple you. Bucky was introduced to the person who changed his life. A beautiful girl who he swore made his heart beat louder than it ever had. But of course, Bucky thought you and Steve were in love. You were the only one who he allowed to refer to him as ‘Stevie.’ He hated that nickname, but not when you said it. So Bucky backed off, until your large group of friends all got smashed at a party and Steve embarrassingly kissed some dude on the track team. You practically burst with joy for him for finally doing it and all Bucky could do was sit there, beer in a cup now warming due to the burning in his hand, where you gripped it in pure joy for your shared best friend.

It was then that Bucky had made it his plan to get you to fall for him in the same way he fell for you. It was easier said than done, but he eventually won your heart.

You became his favorite person. The one he would constantly visit, and stop whatever he was doing to see you. You became his home.

He thought your voice was smooth like honey, and as sweet as the sugar his mom would put on his cheerios when he was younger. Your voice would seep into the cracks of his soul, to remind him he’d always have you.

He even had you now, as your head rested against his shoulder, the rest of your body slumped against the back of the couch. Soft snores rang through his ears, focusing only on you. He’d be damned if he or anyone else woke you up. The movie ended about an hour ago, and everyone had gone to bed. But not without some snide or silly comments on how you were cuddled up against him.

However, he paid no mind to them. All he thought about was how he missed your arms around him, your body heat radiating off of you, keeping him impossibly warm. The familiar scent of lavender and vanilla filled his nostrils as he relaxed all parts of his body but his right arm where you were curled up against. An odd position, yeah but for you? He’d fall out of a plane if it meant keeping you safe. (I’m sorry forgive me for that reference lol)

He felt you stir beside him, and Bucky froze, his breath halted in his lungs as he very slowly glanced down towards you. Your face scrunched up as you wiped at your cheek, after pulling up from his shoulder. Your eyes blinked open, and Bucky quietly watched your eyelashes kiss at your cheeks every time they fluttered shut. He froze again, praying you wouldn’t freak out, and that you’d calmly get up and go to bed, or curl up next to him again.

You chose neither and sat up fully, hunching forward and grabbing the remote from the coffee table.

“‘Nother movie?” You asked, leaning back against the couch and looking over at him. He nodded and focused his gaze on the screen as you chose a crappy netflix original. “ ‘M sorry for falling asleep on you by the way…” You mumbled, running your fingers through your hair. Bucky let out a faint chuckle and shook his head.

“I’m happy to be your headrest doll, long as you don’t drool.”

“Shut up Buck, that was one time…” You groaned, lightly punching his shoulder. He just shook his head and kept his eyes trained on your face, and he swore he saw a hint of a smile curling at your lips.

Smiling at him? Maybe, he could only hope.

Discarding the thought, much to fast for his own taste, he busied himself by grabbing some popcorn and tossing it into his mouth.

Maybe one day he’d work up the courage to actually talk to you, not some silly banter that was somewhere on the cusp of anger and misread feelings from old times… maybe.

—

TAGLIST: @thatsbucknasty @itz-kira @cassandras-musings @petlaufeyson @itzmegaaaaaaan @ambrosesnerd @thatoneslytherinbeater @sebastianstan-posts @retrxbarnes @nervosaa @vvinch3st3r @lost-in-t-h-e-abyss @spn-obession @greeneyedgirls4 @learisa @avipshamitra @uaterer @aletteredaffair @formulafun @smexy-bucky-waifu @jitterbuck @marvelsbitxh @justanothergirlwithdemons @blueeyedboobear @ladymidnightt @greatballsofeffingfire @kaithezaftig @cookies186 @mywinterwolf @buckysthing @postredetucora @coraz0ndcristal @mc225g @section-79 @eves-library

[purplesurveys]

1036

survey by tickticktmr

How many...

How many times have you skipped class? I skipped one day a year back in high school, and that cut was always for this day-long event that the school would arrange to serve as a break from academic classes; for example, for those days we had like themed classes like knitting and it was also usually a themed costume day. I didn’t see the point in it, so I always skipped.

I cut a lot of classes in college that it’s impossible to count because, welp, it’s college lol.

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Hundreds.

How many years have you known your second closest friend? 10 years.

How many alarm clocks are in the house? We don’t have any alarm clocks, but we have alarms built into our phones. If those count, then we have five.

How many people have you argued with?  I don’t think I can count this. I’ve had arguments with various people ranging from mild bickering to full-blown fights.

How many times have you watched your favorite movie? I watched it every day for a certain period several years ago and I go back to it at least once every year. It’s probably been a little more than a hundred times.

How many people do you live with? Four, my parents and two siblings.

How many pairs of boots do you own? Zero.

How many people have told you they're in love with you? Just the one.

How many times have you cried over the opposite sex? A handful, but all have been in the non-romantic sense. I used to cry all the time when we’d drop my dad off at the airport, and I’ve cried over my grandpa’s and Nacho’s death as well.

How many people have been in your house at one time? Do you mean what’s the most number of people that’s stayed at our house at one given time? Not sure...maybe it was the time the entire executive board of my org came over for a meeting before the official start of the sem? It was only a little over 10 people, but then again my mom doesn’t appreciate too many visitors.

How many stuffed animals are in your room? There are a couple of plushies, but not anything bigger than that.

How many cellphones have you went through? Tons. I was my parents’ nightmare. I’ve gone through 8 so far.

How many pets do you have? We have two living ones, both dogs.

What would you do if...

What would you do if you could never listen to music again? I’d be really distraught over never being able to listen to my favorites anymore. Even if I don’t really listen to music when I’m depressed, i.e. now, I still like having the option to tune in when I feel like it. So even if it won’t be the end of the world, I’d still feel pretty damn lonely.

What would you do if your current bf/gf cheated on you? I don’t have one anymore but I’d be really puzzled and be betrayed if she had, given how much she hates cheaters and the act of cheating.

What would you do if you could never wear jeans again? Rejoice for the most part, but also be sad over mom jeans because they’re the only comfy kind of jeans and that’s the one type I genuinely enjoy wearing.

What would you do if your dad became president? Expect him to tap me for help almost immediately. I think he’d make a good leader considering he’s already one at his work, at least a far better one than my mom ever could be.

What would you do if you lost your most important possession? Right now that’s my laptop. If I lost that, I’d mostly be scared of the possibility of my parents whooping my ass; but at the same time my company just gave me a company laptop anyway so it’ll be easy to start over.

What would you do if your house burned down? Stop taking this survey, obviously. Then I’d grab my phone and Kimi, since he’s here with me in my room.

What would you do if your best friend didn't want to be friends anymore? I’d be devastated and start thinking if I’m the problem.

What would you do if you had to move do a different state/province? Thank fuck. I’d be relieved to have the chance to start from scratch, and I’d be all for it.

What would you do if someone shaved your head? Be furious, especially if they did it while I was asleep or otherwise unaware.

What would you do if Jesus came to your front door? Think that it’s probably an act and ask them to leave.

What would you do if your house was robbed? Check if my parents, sister, and dogs are unharmed.

What would you do if your sister/brother got married? Puzzled because 1) they are both single, 2) we are still in a pandemic and why would either of them want to get married right now, and 3) they are 20 and 17.

What would you do if dogs became extinct? Idk, be upset.

What would you do if the last person you kissed proposed to you? I’d be conflicted and a mix of emotions. I’m not sure I would take it well now, even if that’s all I wanted in the end.

Have you ever...

Have you ever broke a body part? I’ve mildly sprained an ankle, but I’ve never broken a bone or had an organ severely malfunction.

Have you ever broke someone else's body part? I don’t think so. 

Have you ever changed for a guy/girl? I’ve adjusted a lot. Idk about change.

Tried to jump on a celebrity but been stopped by the security guards? Kind of? Greyson Chance walked into the mall right when I was exiting and my first instinct as a 14/15 year old was to grab my phone and start taking photos, even though I wasn’t even a fan and could not name any song of his and was just excited to see a Hollywood person in such a mundane circumstance lol. But it wasn’t the smartest move, obviously. I got to be a little too close just because we were crossing paths; I wasn’t trying to be near him, but that’s what his bodyguard interpreted so he asked me to back off.

Have you ever complained about the last person you spoke to? I don’t think there was ever anything to complain about Hans. We’ve always been on amazing terms and he’s one of the funniest people I know.

Have you ever cried on your mom's shoulder? As an infant.

Have you ever dialed 911 as a prank? No. I’m not a jerk.

Have you ever won a talent show? I don’t have anything to show off, so I never joined those.

Have you ever spilled a drink on a expensive electronic item and ruined it? Nah. As clumsy as I can be, I’m always careful with liquids and gadgets.

Have you ever fainted when someone told you shocking news? Nope. I’ve only fainted because I was extremely hungry.

Have you ever swooned over the Jonas Brothers? In 4th grade. I still like them, but I haven’t swooned over them in a while.

Have you ever bought a piece of makeup that cost over $100? No, I don’t buy makeup period.

Have you ever been cheated on by someone who claimed to love you? I haven’t.

Have you ever got food free because the waiter thought you were hot? No, and ew.

Do you...

Do you have someone who will always be there for you? Yeah, I’m lucky I have friends who remind me all the time.

Do you have a membership at a gym? No, was never interested.

Do you act dumb to get guys/girls to like you? No. Hasn’t this been debunked a million times?

Do you know anyone who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day? Possibly more, yes.

Do you follow the rules? As much as possible, yeah.

Do you have a friend who secretly really annoys you? Eh, kind of, but I don’t count her as a friend per se.

Do you always have Pepsi at your house? I don’t think my parents buy Pepsi whenever they get softdrinks. I’ve only ever seen Coca-Cola bottles.

Do you flirt with anything that moves? No.

Do you watch Sponge Bob? I watched it regularly as a kid; as an adult, I’ll watch the older episodes from time to time.

Do you count sheep when you can't sleep? No.

Do you sweat easily? Nah. I’ve been told I rarely look like I sweat, actually.

Do you like pineapple? Not at all.

Do you refuse to wear something that's out of style? If it’s something that’s recently gone out of style, like culottes, then yeah. But if you mean like 90s stuff like fanny packs and mom jeans, I believe those things are back in style all over again.

Do you type 'u' or 'you'? I type both, depending on what I feel like using and who I’m talking to.

What is...

What is your best friend's name? Angela. Maybe Gabie? But mainly Angela.

What is your first girlfriend/boyfriend's name? See second name above.

What is your neighbour's name? I have no clue what any of their names are other than the director who lives two houses away; his name is Mac.

What is your least favorite swear word? Faggot.

What is the best and most romantic way to propose to someone? I think it will always be different per couple, and if a given couple wants a romantic proposal in the first place.

What is something that always makes you laugh? The show Friends.

What is the name of your hometown? That’ll stay a secret.

What is the most gentle way to turn someone down? Idk...haven’t really had to do this before, and the one time I did wasn’t the nicest way.

What is the ugliest girl name? 1) Can’t think of any, and 2) that’s just mean.

What is the most boring thing to do? Technically, waiting. Especially if it’s for something mundane, like lining up for a government service.

What is the funnest kind of question to answer? On surveys? I appreciate random questions the most.

What is the most useless thing you know? I’ve read a lot of ‘useless’ trivia on Reddit that I’ll probably never have to use or bring up in this lifetime.

What is your favorite pair of pants? My mom jeans, which I always mention when asked this.

What is the best flavour of ice cream? I personally root for cookies and cream.

[razgriz438]

Whiffle, thimble, roses, precious

Precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

Two things come to mind:

1. Everything

“kills” you, and then you die.

There’s a statistically significant chance I die every day from

literally eating a peanut on accident, so I’ve come to terms with death and

dying, and it almost unsettles me that other people haven’t.

Everyone worries about having like too

much salt killing you ten years earlier and not eating it lets you live ten years longer or something but like... the

difference between eighty and ninety, hell, seventy and eighty, is bone and muscle decay and mental health

loss. Do you genuinely want ten or twenty years of that? Who know’s if you’ll even live that long for it to matter anyways? Hell, there was that MLB pitcher like ten years ago that threw his first or second game and was immediately killed by a drunk driver. What did this man worry about? Did it help him? Had you told him, “you have a week to live”, would those worries of his have mattered? You are mortal and your time is finite. Some stuff is just genuinely not worth the time and effort you put into worrying about it. Salt my damn fries. I’m going out happy. We have no idea how long we’ll live, so there’s no sense in worrying about small shit that adds up over fifty years, cuz

in those fifty years worth of time, there’s a lotta shit that’ll kill you faster than fifty years’ worth of small shit will. Related: https://i.redd.it/lbsy5h46bql21.jpg I also went to a seminar that was entitled How To Use Your

Dash because we were required to attend 2 conferences in my job training and

it was actually about the dash between your birthday and death day on

your tombstone? it sounds super morbid but the guy that hosted it wasn’t like happy positive about it like hooray were all gonna die one day lets get this bread he was just serious and it was a good reality check idk cuz it really put shit into perspective about how you

use your time, cuz it starts off with like you have twenty years to live

what do you do then it goes down to ten years to live what do then one year then six months then one

month then a week then a day then twelve hours then six then two then

one then thirty minutes then five minutes and it like. I dunno. Kinda

fucked me up a lotta bit. People chose to volunteer what they would be doing with that amount of time left after he gave you a few minutes to think about it, and they were minutes too not like ten seconds “okay I gave you five minutes he sat there and gave us proper MINUTES which was actually an appreciative amount of time to sit there and think about it in this way. Thanks D. Best breakout session of my career.

Complaining: Is it really worth complaining about having to walk a two mile distance in between classes over an hour and a half while having to get lunch in that time frame? Is that complaint really fair, when less than one percent of the world has a college education and only like 30% has food security? No. Boohoo, I have to walk two miles carrying a twenty pound backpack with my laptop and books in it. Something like 25% of the world has access to the internet at will, and I’m sure people less fortunate than I have walked further for water one way than I would walk round trip for a college education, and that water would be in a heavy unwieldy bucket with shitty handles weighing twice as much as my backpack. Will the time I take between those classes walking and using my healthy body kill me? No. Should I be happy that that’s the worst thing I have to complain about that early in my morning. Yes. Did that change my mind about having to walk a couple of miles? Damn right. I have BEEN through worse than walking two miles carrying a weight, and I will BE through worse than walking two miles carrying a weight. Again, it is sometimes just not worth the input effort to worry or complain about some shit.

Roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

This

ones tough. In a few months, it will definitely be graduating college.

After that, getting a job somewhere eventually. But as of right now... I dunno tbh. Getting into college was important. Maybe getting my current groups of friends. They’ve been really healthy for me, helped me grow into myself a bunch, both by showing me who I am and who I’m not. I had a lot of new experiences with these groups of people, and I wouldn’t trade that away for anything.

Thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

One

of the professors on campus that I have a good relationship with is the

first person that comes to mind. He’s come from a shit home to be

second to none in his field. He cares so damn much for his family and

isn’t afraid to tell other professors that they have their work-life

balance out of order. He’s also a great resource to have, and is

well-connected with other resources on campus, esp. our mental health

resources. I know a lot of students that have going to talk to him about

their problems and he continues to check in on them after getting them

started on the path the need to be on with all their proper resources.

He’s funny and sweet and drinks his Respecting Women Juice every damn

day. It is an honor to know this Man personally. Wish I could be him.

Whiffle;  if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

The magical power to have all of the magical powers This

is my like daydream state. When I check out, I find myself thinking

about this stuff a lot. One that always always comes back to me is

telekinesis. On the whole, it would be relatively useless, especially if

you were bound to small items only. But if your power was great enough

that you could lift cars and buses or things of that nature, then it

would be very powerful and fun. Best part of that is, if you can pick

things up, you can push things down too, meaning you could in theory get

a lot of other powers out of it too, like flight, if you can pull on

air as a stationary “object” and push down on the ground simultaneously, or some fun

trick of rotations and translations like that.

Honorable mentions: general animation of objects, teleportation, elemental spells/bending, transmutation, and telepathy.

Edit: Sorry this posted blank the first time, Tungle.hell got up to its stuff again. Tried to close the ask and reference the post but it just posted the ask >:l

[diningpageantry]

Fic based on the song Came in Close by pale waves ??

(ok so like background is–7th year canon diverge that simon and agatha never dated because they just don’t idk why not–also it got long so more under the cut)

“I don’t like the idea of a stake out,” Snow huffs, buttoning his blazer as we settle alone in the side closet, seemingly trying to measure out the space with his eyes so he can strategically stay as far away from me as possible. Of course he doesn’t. He likes charge and attack.

“What’s your plan? Accuse a professor of being a shapeshifter casually?”

He shrugs, looking down as he casually steps back and away from me. “Maybe.”

I scoff over at him, pushing my hair back as I draw out my wand. He flinches, at first, then watches me raise it up to the air above us and utter a spell. “Première étoile que je vois ce soir.”

We both watch as a soft, glowing ball forms above us, illuminating the contained space and leaving us washed in warm yellow. When I’m looking back, though, he’s looking away, running a hand back through his hair before tugging it and plopping down onto the floor.

I sit against the door slowly, unbuttoning my blazer and drawing one knee while the other half folded and settled onto the dusty ground, knocking into a shelving unit full of textbooks.

“What if we made a mistake?”

My head snaps up, eyebrows narrowing at him. “What do you mean ‘mistake’?”

“You know.”

“What if we mistakenly witnessed a teacher wick into a cloud of smoke, then reappear back as a student that neither of us recognize nor have even seen before? And then, a day or two later, that same student tries to get all buddy buddy with you. But we’re mistaken? Is that what you’re asking?”

He shrugs again. “We could’ve seen it wrong?”

I wonder what’s rattling around inside his skull, because it’s definitely not a brain. “Ah yes, we both witnessed a single occurrence outside a teacher’s room, and it was a complete misunderstanding. We just, I don’t know, took the same hallucinogen coincidentally at the same time, resulting in the same hallucination.”

The broom beside him rattles as he shifts against it, staring off into his hands as we sit in a bitingly cold silence. I know this is what I get for being a dick to him. Awkward silences, long, uncomfortable stares, and cold glances. In the past years, he’d hit me, but since growing up a bit made us both a bit more stable, we just get angry or get silent.

I look at my palms, then my knuckles. Watch the way they curve and stress into a fist, then relax back into soft ridges and large flats. I know these knuckles are one of the only things on my body that’ve touched Snow’s skin, and that’s not a matter bound to change.

“So what are the plans?” he tries, still refusing to look at me.

I act similarly, not wanting to make an uneven draw of attention. “We wait. Someone’s got to come in here sometime, and it shouldn’t be forever–classes start again in an hour.”

He nods, crossing his arms over his chest. “Right. Missing lunch.”

Shit. Forgot to give him that.

I dig into my bookbag, pulling out a wrapped sandwich and an apple and toss them his way. “Stop complaining, it’s giving me a headache.”

He stares at them, then stares at me, and goes right to dig in. Staying across, I watch him, knowing I can’t help myself. Even when he’s a slob, he’s a magnet for my attention.

Half the sandwich in, and he stares up at me, giving me a smile that makes my heart jump. “Seven years into knowing me and you don’t know I prefer turkey to ham?” he jokes, a mouthful of food and still chewing. I should be gagging, but instead I’m taking a moment to drink in his gaze.

“I didn’t have to snag you anything at all.”

He shrugs again, shoving the food back into his mouth. In hopes to distract myself, I pull out a book, starting to read in the (almost) silence.

The light isn’t the best, so holding the book is a bit awkward, but I get the hang of it. I can’t get far into it, though, without Snow trying to question me on the topic of it.

“What’s that?”

“A book, Snow. Ever touched one?”

I can hear him huff, not looking up but knowing the exact scowl he’d be wearing.

“I meant, what’s it about?”

“The AIDS crisis,” I mumble. When I finally look up, he’s squinting across and nodding at me. “Snow, please tell me you know what the AIDs crisis was.”

“No, I know, mostly. I just…”

“You just what?”

He shrugs, rubbing his neck. “I… uh…. nevermind.”

“Spit it out, Snow.”

He frowns. “’S just, that’s a very specific topic.”

“Yes?”

“Not–not a lot of people are interested, that’s all.”

“Are you implying something, Snow?”

He raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. “No! It’s just…. the topic is…” he looks away, shutting himself up.

I figure to leave it, too, knowing full well what he was getting at. Say it, Snow. Just say it.

Instead, we sit in silence. I don’t think much’ll happen for a bit–not until I hear the scuffle of standing feet, then feel him plop back down next to me. I frown instinctively, head snapping to the side as my book closes lightly on my finger holding the place. “What?”

He looks at the cover. “What if you read to pass time?”

“You think I want to read aloud to you?”

He shakes his head, then shrugs. “It’d pass time.”

I suppose he’s right, but a number of things could pass time. Like, for example, me eating the rat poison near the corner. It’s save plenty of time, me being dead.

Still, I find myself opening the book back up, finding my place, and clearing my throat before starting to read aloud. I go slowly, knowing he can’t follow whenever people talk too far, and follow the words along with my finger, in case he’s reading over my shoulder.

It’s a bit embarrassing, talking about an intimate subject. Not the virus and disease, but instead the blood. The talk of blood, the idea of blood between us is still a sore spot that’ll ache until I’m as far from him as possible.

We get to the end of a section and he stops, head almost drooping. “Can I rest?” he asks.

I immediately stiffen, but nod, eyes focusing intently on the page as his head settles onto my shoulder. It rests warmly, comfortingly, making my head spin as I try to focus on the page.

What if I just settled my hand on his? Or grazed his thigh? How hard would he hit me and run?

His side comes in close, then grazes my skin, resting gently as I try to read again. But, instead, this time I jumble a few words, reading too fast and tripping over everyday phrases. I try to slow myself, then get nervous and go too fast, and all the while, he’s warmly up against me, listening to the words and picking up his head on occasion.

I bite on my lip, taking a deep breath and he lifts his head. 

“What is it, Snow?” I bite, quickly covering up my tracks as he watches me with caution.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” I exhale again, shaking my head and snapping the book shut.

He looks over me, still in breathing distance as I’m shoving it into the bag. “No.”

“What?”

“Something happened. You never get all worked up over nothing. Was it me?”

“Why would it be you?” I speak too quickly, fully keeping my back to him as we sit.

“Because it started…” He stops himself, shaking his head. “Baz?”

“What?” 

“I’m sorry?”

“For what?”

“Making you uncomfortable.”

I wasn’t uncomfortable, Snow. I was nervous. Eager to impress. Wanting more. “Whatever.”

He shifts, still keeping our legs brushing. “Aren’t you gonna take it?”

“The apology that means nothing? No.”

“It meant something!”

“You were apologizing for something that didn’t even happen. It means nothing.”

“What… do you mean didn’t happen?”

Shit.  “Nothing, Snow. Shut it. We’re here to wait, not chat.”

He grabs my hand, quite forcefully, and it jolts me. “What is it?”

I look at him and yank my hand away. “You are. You’re what happened. Now shut it.”

We’re dead silent, only the small light floating above us.

“What… does that…”

“Nothing!” I snap, hands flying up. “I means nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. It means fuck off.”

He frowns deeper, reaching back for my hands like the stubborn bastard he is. “But…”

I stop, looking over at him nervously and exhaling. We stay silent, staring at one another as he holds onto my now shaking hands. He moves to sit facing me, lips twitching. “How do I fix it?”

“You can’t.”

“Well, what caused it?”

I’m silent, staring down at his lap.

For once, I think he has a bright moment and realises it. “Oh,” he whispers.

I close my eyes, waiting for an impact that doesn’t even come. Instead, I get a few quiet words.

“So what does this do?”

I feel his hand turn around mine, holding them properly as I swallow and pull one of his moves and shrug.

He scoots a little closer. “Okay. What about this?”

Without expecting it, I feel a soft bump of lips against my cheek. Looking over, I see him inches from me. I dumbly shrug again, mouth hanging open.

He smiles that unexpected, sweet smile again. “What if I kissed you?”

“I don’t know, what if you did?”

And then he kisses me.

I stiffen against him, then smooth back out all at once, curling my fingers around his as I try and kiss him back, then jolt when the door to the main room opens. We jolt apart, his cheeks rosy pink as we hear the voice of The Mage and our Professor out in the room, speaking loud enough to hear.

“So how’s the studying on the Pitch boy going?”

[hockeyandstuff91]

How did this happen? - Part 5

Word count: 3,624

Players: Tyler Seguin, Alexander Radulov

Warning: cussing

Authors note: This part jumps time a few times to make this story not feel like its completely dragging on in the beginning :) Before each separate part I'm going to specify who's point of view it is. I also think that I'm going to be changing Brooke's POV from the imagine format to first person like the rest of the POVs are. Hopefully that makes sense. I may or may not go back to the other 4 parts and change it to first person.. Idk yet lol (There is a very good chance there will be random "you" and such as I keep accidentally switching between first and second person. I'm going to try and make sure there aren't any but I might miss some so I apologize lol)

Hope you enjoy!

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4     Part 6

(Brooke's POV)

It had been two weeks since Tyler had left for the away trip. He had facetimed with me every night, claiming it was to check in with the dogs but it became a routine after a while and he actually stopped asking for them right away. Even still the dogs would always get excited when they would hear their dad's voice but always be confused why he was stuck in my phone.

I had just finished taking them on a walk, and was in the middle of getting them some water when I heard the gate open. I gasped, wide eyed, looking at the clock on the oven. Tyler wasn't suppose to be home for another hour I thought but maybe Ashlyn decided to stop by after work before the boys got home.

I brought the dog's water bowls over to where they normally got fed and set them down on the floor. It may be the middle of February now but it had hit 80 degrees today which I was still not exactly use to but I loved it way more than snow. I grabbed a few ice cubes from the freezer and popped them into the water bowls.

I turned just in time to see the door open and Tyler walk in with his bags.

"Hey!" He smiled, the dogs rushing to greet him, leaving a trail of water behind them from drinking.

"Hey welcome home!" I smiled at him, standing over by the counter.

"Well the boys greeted me a lot more excitedly than you did," Tyler smirked at me.

"What you want me to run over to you and start licking your face?" I laughed as I grabbed a water out of the fridge for myself.

"No probably not," he laughed and set his bag down in the hallway.

There were moments like this that it still was weird that I was in Tyler Seguin's house. Let alone staying there for another couple days until I finished moving all of my things into the apartment. 2 months ago I had only ever seen him on the internet or on my computer screen when I watched the games and now here I stood, in his kitchen, best friends with him.

God damn my life is so fucking weird

Tyler pulled me from my thoughts as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. "Did ya miss me?" I could hear the smirk in his voice even though I couldn't see his face.

"Well..." I tried not to smile.

He pulled back and looked down at me with one eyebrow raised and I cracked, laughing. "That's what I thought," he said and returned to hugging me for a little bit longer.

"So how was the plane ride back?" I asked as we pulled back from the hug.

"It was fine, I slept most of the way so it went by quick for me," he said as he leaned against the counter, grabbing my water bottle and taking a sip.

I gasped "Hey that was my water!" I protested.

"Oh this?" he smirked and held it higher than I could reach.

"That's not fair Tylerrrrr!" I whined a bit as I tried to jump for it. It didn't help that he was already almost a whole foot taller than me. Reaching both arms up I jumped to grab it, actually getting it but I soon figured out that was all part of Tyler's plan as he easily let go of the water and went to tickle me.

"Nooo!!!!" I laughed and ran into the living room.

"Get her boys!" Tyler smirked and followed after me.

All three dogs were excited thinking it was play time and jumped onto the couch, kissing my face and laying all over me.

"Nooo you all have gross doggy breath!" I laughed and tried to turn my face away.

After a minute everything calmed down and I could regain my breath finally.

"I had no idea you were ticklish!" Tyler laughed as he got off the couch and helped me up.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I smirked at him.

He reached over and poked my side, causing me to pull away.

"Quiiit, Ty," I laughed.

"See! You are ticklish."

"Lies," I said and walked back into the kitchen, opening the fridge. "Ugh what are we going to eat for dinner?"

"Hmm.. how about some nachos?" he asked as he leaned against the counter, tilting his head and looking over at me.

I looked around to make sure we had all of the ingredients and nodded "Yeah that'll be pretty easy and fast to make."

"Good I'm so hungry," he laughed.

"Me too!"

"Oh! So your apartment is ready tomorrow have you went to go check it out yet?"

"No I wanted to wait until you got back home first."

"Why?"

"Well you were the one who helped me pick which one so I thought it would be exciting to go together," I shrugged, looking at him and grabbing the chip bag off the counter and started loading up a pan with them.

"No that's a good idea actually I didn't think about it like that," he smiled.

"Do you want just cheese and salsa?"

"There's other options?" he asked.

"Uh yeah! We could put burger on it too," I said opening the fridge again and making sure I had burger left still.

"Brooke you know my specialty is only grilled cheese."

"This is very true. I'll just make some fancy nachos and you can be surprised."

"Alright sounds like a deal! While you do that I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower and I'll be back down in 5," he said standing up from the counter and walked over to the hallway, grabbing his bag and headed upstairs.

"Okay," I answered and went to work on cooking dinner.

We had a nice night in just relaxing on the couch and watching a couple movies. I ended up falling asleep not long after the fourth one started, resting my head against Tyler's shoulder. After the movie was over Tyler gently woke me up and helped me to my room. He followed me into the room and laughed as I flopped onto the bed on top of the covers.

"Whaaaaat?" I mumbled into the pillow, slowly turning over to look up at him, one eye closed and the other one squinting.

"Nothing you are just funny when you are over tired," he said as he grabbed the blanket and pulled it out from under meand pulled it back up over me.

"Is Tyler Seguin really tucking me in to bed right now?" I half laughed which turned into a yawn.

"Yes," he smiled and kissed my forehead. "Now get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a long day," he said and turned my light off.

"But whyyyyy," I groaned.

"We are moving your stuff remember?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Oh yeah," I mumbled as my eyes closed.

Tyler laughed and shook his head walking over to the door. "Goodnight Brooke," he left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

~~~~~~~~

2 months later...

Life was fucking good. No not good it was great! I had been in my own place and it was going really well, Tyler and I had been hanging out consistently when he wasn't busy with games and traveling, and Ashlyn and Alexander had been spending a lot of time together lately too.

I had seen how he looked at her and I knew that he was going to ask her out soon, but for some reason she didn't believe me. She had made it very adamant that Tyler and I were for sure going to get together before her and Alexander would but I wasn't so sure about that.

Tyler was one of the sweetest guys I had met and spending time with him was my favorite part of the day but it was kind of clear to me that he only saw me as a friend. He still had his flings with random girls and he would always call and ask me stupid questions about what something meant when one of them would text him something. I loved having him as a best friend but when it came to the topic of girls I didn't exactly want to be apart of that. Obviously I wanted nothing more than to see him happy but I knew what girls like that were really like. I also knew that if any of them ever lasted I would probably end up losing my best friend because those girls never liked me, and honestly the feelings were mutual.

I had of course had feelings for Tyler and wanted to be with him, but I knew that if it was meant to happen it would in its own time. I just wanted to enjoy being close to him for now and not put any strain on our friendship.

(Tylers POV)

Rad and I had decided to go grab some food after our morning practice. Brooke was going to be at work until 5 so that meant I had nothing to do until then besides take the dogs for a run.

This was the same restaurant that we had met the girls at almost 4 months ago. It was crazy how fast time had gone by.

Rad and I ordered our food and we sat there waiting, I was checking Instagram when I looked up seeing that Rad was just staring at his hands.

"Whats up with you today?" I ask him, putting down my phone.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

"Lies," I said. Something I picked up from Brooke saying it all the time.

Rad looked up at me, his face serious. "Just thinking."

"About...?"

"Ashlyn."

"Oooh. Yeah hows that been going?"

"Great."

"Okay well then why do you look so serious then?" I laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"I haven't felt this interested in a girl since Darya," he said looking back down to his hands.

I sat back in my seat looking at him. I knew that was a touchy subject with him, rightfully so. But I was happy to see that he had found someone who made him happy. "Well that's good though isn't it?" Rad nodded. "Why the worried face then?" I asked him.

"Darya made me feel this way too. Then it ended. I'm scared it will happen again."

"Dude you can't compare Ashlyn to Darya. What happened between you and her doesn't mean it'll happen again."

Rad looked up at me, his face a little less worried. "You sure?"

I nod "You should give it a shot if you feel like it's right. I see you two together and it's great, you already look like you are together. Even if it doesn't work out in the long run at least you wont ever wonder what would of happened if you don't try."

Rad just nodded in agreement with what I had said and responded with "I will talk to her tonight."

~~~~~~~~~

(Brooke's POV)

I had just gotten out of work, finally. The day was only suppose to last until 5 but my boss had called a meeting that lasted an extra 2 hours. My phone of course had died and so I was sure to have a few texts from Tyler since he and I had planned on going to grab dinner and see a movie after I got out of work but now it looked like only one of those was going to happen.

I climbed into my car and plugged my phone in, starting up the car and resting my head against the headrest and closing my eyes to rest for a second. After my phone had charged enough to turn on it started going crazy with notifications.

"Jesus I'm gone for 2 hours and now everyone wants my attention," I laugh to myself as I pick up my phone.

I had two missed phone calls from Tyler and about 5 texts, a text from my mom, and Ashlyn had called like 3 times.

I decided to shoot Tyler a text first so he would stop worrying and then call Ashlyn afterwards.

Me: Sorry Ty, got caught up at work and my phone died. I'm free now! finally 😂

I then scrolled to my contacts and called Ashlyn. It only rang twice before she picked it up.

"Oh. My. God. where have you been?!"

"Jeez! I was stuck at work is everything okay? You called me like 3 tim-"

"Yeah everything is fine! More than fine!" I could hear how excited she was and wondered what had happened.

"Well?! About what?"

"Alexander came over to my apartment and he said he needed to talk. He told me that over these last couple months he realized that I mean a lot to him and no other girl since his ex wife made him feel this way and he asked me out!"

I gasped into the phone "Ashlyn!! I'm so happy for you!"

"I know! This is crazy, all the times we joked about this over the last year-"

"I know! I told you it would happen!" I laughed a bit. "Well I don't want to bother you two-"

"Oh he just left to go pick up the takeout so he's not here right now. I just wanted to tell you as soon as it happened!"

"I'm so excited for you, for both of you! You guys seriously do look great together."

"Aww thank you," I could hear how big the smile on Ashlyn's face was and I knew that smile wasn't going to be fading anytime soon.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I pulled it away from my face to see I had an incoming call from Tyler.

"Alright I'm gonna let you get back to your night, Ty is calling me right now. Have fun. Be safe, use protection," I laughed.

Ashlyn laughed back "Okay talk to you tomorrow!" she said and I quickly flipped over to the other call before it went to voicemail.

"Hellooo?"

"Finally! I thought you were screening my calls or something."

"No Ty I would never do that to you," I laughed and shook my head "Didn't you get my text?"

"Yeah and I responded but you didn't, I was a little worried, I'm sorry."

"Aww well don't be Ty, I'm okay. I was just on the phone with Ashlyn, do you know whats been going on?"

"Yeah Rad and I got lunch today, I told him to go for it. He was worried it was going to be a repeat of what happened with his ex," I could hear in the background of the call Tyler was throwing a ball for one of the dogs outside, something he would do when he was overthinking and worried.

"Aww well I doubt that will happen."

"Me too. They are so great together. I've seen how his attitude has changed since she's been around."

"Yeah I'm so happy for them. Alright so I'm out of work now, just sitting in my car, did you still want to hang out tonight?"

"Yeah but lets just stay in and watch a movie at my place. Is that ok?"

"Sounds perfect to me. Do you want me to pick up some food on the way?"

"Yeah how about Chinese?" Tyler asks, you knew he had thought of this already.

"Mmm sounds good. Wanna call it in so it'll be ready when I get there?"

"Sure, usual order?"

"Well of course! I'll see you in 20."

"Okay, drive safe."

"I will."

"Bye."

"Bye," I said as I pulled the phone away from my ear and hit the end call button. I sat up straight in my seat and put my seat belt on and pulled out of my parking spot, headed towards the Chinese restaurant.

When I got inside I walked up to the counter, not seeing my takeout bag yet I decided to sit in the waiting area. That's when I noticed Rads was here too.

"Hey you!" I said, catching his attention from his phone.

"Brooke!" He smiled happily and stood up to give me a hug.

"I heard the big news! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you two," I smiled as I sat down next to him.

"Thank you. I'm glad she said yes."

"Of course she would! She adores you so much."

Rads nodded "What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"You and Tyler?"

"Oh.. no he and I are just friends," I said and looked down at my phone in my hands.

"But..."

"But what?" I asked, not looking up at him.

"You like him?"

I looked at Rad out of the corner of my eye for a moment before turning my gaze back to my hands.

I felt a hand on my back just before Rad spoke "I wont tell."

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"He know?"

I shook my head, eyes still closed.

"Why?"

"I'm not his type and I don't want to ruin our friendship," I respond, finally opening my eyes and looking over at Rad.

"Type?"

"Yeah you know I don't look like a model or anything so.."

Rad shook his head "You are beautiful, those girls never around for long."

"I know. We'll see, but for now friends is okay," I took a deep breath. I wanted to be with Tyler and I felt like something was there but I knew he wasn't ready to settle down and if I tried to step anywhere near that topic there was a chance he would run from me, which was the last thing I wanted. I decided that when the time was right I would know, and that's when it would happen. But until then this was still nice.

Rad nodded and rubbed my back a bit before standing up after his name was called for his takeout, my name followed behind it. He reached his hand out and I took it, standing up.

"Don't worry. It'll happen," Rad smiled at you and walked over to the counter.

"I hope so," I whispered and followed him. We both paid for our food and walked out to the parking lot together.

"Congrats again Rads, I'm very excited and happy for you guys," I smiled as we started to walk to our cars.

"Thank you Brooke! See you soon?"

"Yeah! I'll be at the game with Ashlyn tomorrow night," I said as I set the paper bag of takeout on the hood of my car to fish out my keys from my pocket, and unlocking the door.

"Okay! Have a good night," Rad said and got into his car.

The two of us waved and drove separate directions out of the parking lot.

I couldn't help but think about what Rads had said. I wasn't sure if he knew something that I didn't, maybe Ty had said something but I didn't give it too much thought, not wanting to give myself false hope or anything.

I drove to Tyler's house and was greeted by three big dogs at the door like normal. I brought the food into the kitchen and set it on the counter, starting to take things out of the paper bag and set them on the counter.

I could hear Tyler's footsteps above me getting closer to the staircase.

"Fuck that smells good," I heard him mumble to himself as he started down the stairs and I just laughed.

"Hey," Tyler smiled as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed some plates for us. "How was work?"

"Ugh," I groaned. "It was work. Meetings all day pretty much, which was why I had to stay for another two hours instead of getting out at 5 like I was suppose to. But hey money is nice especially since rent is due soon," I laughed as I started to plate some of my food.

"Good point," Tyler said as he started to put food onto his plate as well.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"It was good. Practice this morning like usual, and then lunch with Rad, and I was worried for about two hours when you didn't answer. So you know usual day," he smirked over at me.

"Hey! I'm the one who answers right away unlike someone," I smirked back at him.

"Listen that was one time okay?" He shook his head. "Never gonna let me live that one down."

"Nope!" I laughed.

"Not fair," He smirked at me that faded into a smile.

"So the whole Ashlyn and Rad thing is awesome to hear!"

"Yeah finally."

"Right? I mean it was like they were already together anyways, the way they act around each other but I'm glad that he asked her."

"Yeah me too, they are great, and I'm glad to see him so happy again," Tyler smiled and followed me into the living room with our food, a movie ready on the TV.

For the rest of the night after dinner we just spent it on the couch watching movies. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder after the long day that I had. A number of times since I moved down to Dallas and spent time with Tyler I had found myself falling asleep against him while we relaxed and stayed in for the night. It was nice to be doing that again tonight. I vaguely remembered him waking me up and bringing me to the guest room down the hall, I didn't have work the next morning so staying the night would be okay.

[sarah--writes-blog]

Weight

Anon: Can you please do one where lance is self-doubting and staying up really late and training? Like he gets really sick from not sleeping. Like can't keep anything down sick. It's okay if you don't want to do or you already did this already. Please and thank you!

Anon: Maybe something where Lance is getting berrated (idk why) and Keith comes to his defense like in intensness or something.

A/N: When I started writing this, I didn’t intend for it to be so dark. Hot damn. Deep shit ahead. Also, I’m horrible at pet-names. I tried to write from 3rd person Keith instead of omniscient so here we go ᕕ(ツ)ᕗ

It was a particularly depressing mission.

The Blue Paladin had to make a near-impossible choice. Surrender Voltron, or surrender a resource-heavy planet and all its inhabitants. Death wasn’t mentioned in either scenario, but it was very heavily implied. In the end, Lance made the choice to save Voltron on the basis that they would save many many other planets by defeating Zarkon in the long run.

But that didn’t mean a whole planet's worth of deaths wasn’t weighing on his soul.

Everyone on the team agreed that Lance made the better decision - there was no right one. They let him sit through it for a few days, not asking anything extra of him, not pushing his boundaries. Keith was the only one close enough to him to talk it out with. This would clearly affect him for the rest of his life.

But Lance was a trooper. Given enough time, he’d bounce back and start acting like his normal self. Right?

Keith kept a very close eye on him. Instead of goofing off in his free time, he’d start going to the training deck alone. Records showed his difficulty increasing steadily. Keith was only a bit worried about that - he himself would go to the training deck to relieve stress, and at least Lance was improving. Additionally, all the heavy training was helping him sleep, so Keith thought. Initially, he’d have to keep waking Lance up from nightmares, but as time went on, Lance wasn’t making a sound.

The reality of the situation showed itself a week and a half after Lance made the decision. When Keith got up to get breakfast, Lance was already there, pushing the food goo around his plate.

“Mmmmmm good morning, Lance..” Keith groaned, sleep still hanging onto his eyes. He dragged his feet over to his boyfriend, wrapping him in a hug from behind and kissing his cheek, “How’d you sleep?”

“Not very good....” Lance replied, giving Keith a small nose bump in return.

“Yeah? You were quiet the entire night.” Keith walked over to the food goo machine, dispensing himself a plate of the green nutrients.

“S’cause I wasn’t sleeping. Was on the training deck.”

Keith turned around, “All night?” Now he could see the extremely dark circles under Lance’s eyes, contrasting how pale he looked. Lance nodded, not daring to look Keith in the eye. Keith returned to the table.

“Why were you training all night?”

Lance didn’t say anything.

“Lance?”

Still no response. Keith physically turned Lance’s chin to look him in the eyes.

“I...” The Blue Paladin swallowed, unable to lie to someone he cared about so much, “...I need to be better. I’ve been training and training but I’m not getting any better.”

“Better? Better at what?”

“Better at everything,” a tear rolled down his cheek as Keith felt his bottom lip quiver, “If I was better, I might’ve been able to save that planet. I might’ve been able to....” he trailed off.

Keith’s heart completely sank. He wanted nothing more than to scream the mantra he’d been telling Lance for days: ‘it’s not your fault, you did the best you could’. But he knew that wouldn’t help. What would help were hugs, cuddles, and extra sleep.

Keith released Lance’s chin, and took his hands instead, “Lance? Lance-Love, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna eat some food, and we’re gonna get you back to bed, okay? You said you trained all night?”

Lance nodded, “For a few days now....haven’t slept in days....”

Keith’s heart went from sinking to going a million miles an hour, “Alright. Food, then sleep, okay?”

Lance swallowed a bit. His pallor seemed to grow paler every time Keith said the word ‘food’. “I’m not hungry...”

Keith squeezed Lance’s hands, “Please? You need something. If you’ve been training this much, you’ve been burning extra calories, you need to get that back.”

Lance sighed and picked up his spoon, and Keith went to the intercom to tell Shiro that the both of them wouldn’t be participating the in exercises today. Lance jammed the spoonful of food goo into his mouth and swallowed. Keith narrowed his eyebrows. Something was up. He hung up on Shiro and sat down in the chair next to Lance.

“Is something wrong?” Keith asked, “You seem-”

Lance’s spoon clattered to the table and his stomach groaned loud enough to reach Keith’s ears. Before he could do anything, Lance was bringing up streams of bile with only the spoonful of goo he’d swallowed. Most of the episode was muscle-straining retches because Lance hadn’t eaten much in the previous days. Before long, the entirety of the chair and Lance’s pajama bottoms were covered in vomit and tears.

Keith’s tears were in the mix as well.

“I-It’s alright, Lance-Love...just try to breathe, we’ll get it cleaned up...” he tried to clean himself up before Lance could see his worried state, “God, I...I didn’t know you were staying up all night, I would’ve...I shouldn’t have thought...”

The two eventually quieted themselves. Keith slipped his hand up to Lance’s forehead, confirming his unhappy speculation. Feverish. He moved the same hand to Lance’s back.

“Feel like you’re done....?”

Lance took a moment to breathe and swallow, but he nodded. He let himself be escorted back to the bedrooms, trying not to drag a trail of sick from his pajama pants the entire way.

As luck would have it, the other paladins caught them at the elevator - Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro all exiting the same one that Keith and Lance intended to take. With Lance’s emotional state, Keith didn’t want them all talking at once and fussing over him, so he spoke quickly.

“Lance got sick, I’m taking him back to bed, I’ll fill you in later, sorry about the mess.”

He slammed the elevator doors shut and hit their floor. He then took a deep breath and focused all his attention on the sick paladin next to him.

“How’s your stomach...?”

Lance hiccuped, “N-not good...”

It was a long trek back to Lance’s bedroom. His knees almost gave out on him, so Keith had to carry him bridal-style to the bathroom so he could dry heave again. Nothing came up, making it infinitely more painful for both of them.

With a quick shower rinse and a change of clothes, Keith got Lance back into bed. Instead of immediately going off to get medicine and a bucket, he took a few minutes to soothe the Blue Paladin into almost a sleep-like state.

“I’ll be back soon...” he promised, smoothing Lance’s hair down from dishevelment, “I’m just going to grab some things that’ll help you feel better.”

“N-no....I can go to training, ‘m fine....I need to get better....”

Keith almost let his frustration show, but kept it in check, “You are not going to training. You are staying right here where I can keep an eye on you and make sure you’re okay. You can’t get better until you get better.”

It wasn’t the most articulate, but it got the point across. Lance nodded weakly in defeat and settled into the blankets. With a warm kiss on the forehead, Keith left the room and broke into a sprint.

He almost collided with the other paladins, who looked just as concerned.

“What’s wrong with Lance?” Pidge asked, “There’s vomit all over the floor!”

Keith was still panting from running so fast, “He says he hasn’t slept in days...said he’s been on the training deck all night trying to get ‘better’...whatever that means...”

“Is he still torn up about...?” Hunk trailed. The others knew what he meant. Keith nodded.

“Yeah, and I think it’s making him sick...Or it’s making him do things that’re making him sick or something.”

Shiro rested his head in his hands, still waking up, “God damn it, Lance,” he muttered, “He should’ve told us he was still having a hard time...”

Pidge nodded in agreement, “Why does he think training all night every night will make him better? It’ll only make him worse! Especially if he’s sick!”

Keith felt all the anger and frustration bubbling up.

“How could he do this?” Hunk added, “He knows we’re here for him, right?”

“Because he thinks he fucked up!”

The paladins went silent.

“Because he thinks he could’ve made a better decision when there wasn’t one! He thinks that somehow if he was stronger, or faster, o-or whatever, he could’ve saved both us and the planet! But he couldn’t and he has an entire planet’s destruction on his shoulders! That’s how he could do this! And he’s too scared to tell anyone but me because he thinks everyone will hate him for it! So he’s pushing himself to the fucking limit and making himself fucking sick to make up for all the people he decided to kill!”

Keith’s breath slowed. For three long minutes, none of them said anything. Tears brimmed at the edge of the Red Paladin’s eyes, feeling more hot with anger than sadness. Truly, he wasn’t angry at the others. He was angry at the situation the world put his beloved in, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’ve got to get him some medicine-” he went to push past the others, but Shiro caught his arm.

“We’ll go get it. You should stay with Lance. He needs you the most right now.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #78

“why are the children all marching into the desert to die?”

list your three favorite scents. lilac, uhhh and then cinnamon and coffee, maybe? how do you ground yourself or recharge? sleep, go online... comfort food? my #1 is definitely ice cream have you ever been on a laptop inside a vehicle? no while on the road, do you play any road games? not anymore are you scared of semi-trucks? especially when you’re driving next to one? AHHHH YES if you have any pets, do you talk to them in a baby voice?  hell yeah! do you like screamo music? i do not. i want to be able to understand the words. like, they can even be in different languages, i don't care, i just want to understand clear words. what is the relationship between you and the person you last kissed? much to my dismay, there isn't one. if you could change your name what would you change it to? zoey, probably. have you ever tried weed?  no, and i have no desire to. how much effort did you put into your last relationship? way, way, way too much. are you a patient person? NOPE. do you have impulse control? DOUBLE NOPE can you use chopsticks? my tremors would never allow it. do you like the smell of gasoline? NO NO NO NO NONONONONO did you ever live in a house with more than one story? nope what’s your favorite fast food place? bojangle's what's your favorite alcoholic drink? i haven't tried many, but the best thing i've had thus far was a watermelon margarita thing. have you ever given yourself a tattoo? no, and i wouldn't. i'm very serious about the professionalism of my tats. do you ever buy your pet(s) birthday or christmas presents? sure do! can you lick your nose?  nope. can you lick your elbow?  nope. would you rather watch a movie in theater or at home?  defs in theaters. do you still own any vhs tapes? do you ever watch them?  no, mom got rid of them all. what hobby have you always wanted to pick up?  hmmm. crafts. have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep?  no. have you ever had a penpal?  nope. do you put your shirt on or your pants on first?  pants are you afraid of spiders?  only if they are venomous or have extremely long legs in comparison to their bodies. have you ever been stung by a bee?  i haven't. do you enjoy board games?  no. what do you like on your burgers? (cheese, ketchup, mustard..)  cheese, ketchup, mustard, onion pieces, pickles how much water do you drink each day?  none. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but with friends, sure. has the last person you kissed met your father? he has. what’s your favorite breed of dog? akita inus, chow chows, beagles... do you swear in front of your parents?  i'm totally open around my dad, but i usually don't say "fuck" around mom. what would you do if you found out you were pregnant to the last person you kissed?  cry and probably become obsessed with the child's well-being, even while in utero. can you make yourself cry? i can't. what do you tend to drink a lot of? milk have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? yes, and i once woke up screaming. have you ever had to block anyone online? i've been actively using the internet since dial-up, whatcha think? are you scared of ending up alone? i'm legitimately horrified. are your pets asleep right now, if you have any?  i'm not at home, so idk. have you ever done three or more shots in a row? i've never done shots. favorite undersea creature? dolphins i think, but i also really like jellyfish and whales. seahorses, too. describe the darker side to your personality.  more than anything, i can be viciously jealous. i have an interior savagery, but just barely enough control to contain it. what makes a movie really enjoyable for you? creative, whimsical story and artwork, drama, and relatable characters. favorite type of bird? owls. favorite forest animal? deer! do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second? absolutely not. what is your favorite video game console? why?  ps2 has the best games. do you like vanilla candles?  sure do. how many girlfriends/boyfriends have told you they love you? one, i think. juan might have... have you ever smoked a cigarette? no. who did you last share a taxi with? i've never been in one. do you vape? nope. do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?  i like two songs. where’s your favorite place to shop for clothes?  rebel's market. have you ever seen a mountain in person? i have. have you ever explored somewhere abandoned? i have. there's a shack and old house near my house that friends and i explored when i was younger. we got in trouble lol. have you ever found a four-leaf clover? i discovered a patch of four-leaf clovers the day after my dad left... (: would you rather live in a coastal town or a town closer to the forest? ohhh. can it be in the forest? are you lazy? i am, honestly. regularly burn incense? i used to. i need more sticks... who was your high school crush? i had a few. i was kinda interested in a guy named kyle, i really liked this boy sebastian, but my biggest crush was jason. are you cpr certified? no. who accompanied you to your first concert? mom, nicole, and jason. do you and your friends listen to similar music? depends on the friend. my best friend, no. do you believe in the idea of taking from the rich and giving to the poor? why or why not? no, because who says the rich don't deserve what they've accumulated? do you believe that animals are capable of “human” emotion? why not? it's very obvious that they feel emotion; now are their emotions the same as how we humans feel it, maybe not, but they obviously feel. who do you consider “family?” my mom, dad, ashley, nicole, katie, bobby, misty, a few aunts and uncles and uncles, colleen, chelsea, bradley, and despite having no relationship with him, jason will always be my family. could you sacrifice yourself for someone you barely knew? honestly, no. does the thought of having children scare you? horrifies me. i'd prefer to never imagine pushing a seven-pound human being out of my fucking vagina. xbox or playstation? playstation! have you ever asked someone out? i kinda-sorta initiated the asking out with aaron, but not exactly? when do you want to get married? i see 23 as an ideal marrying age, but there's literally no way that'll happen with me unless j comes back. did you like your middle school life? ACTUALLY fuck that. that's when my anxiety and depression started, and it was just... awkward and uncomfortable. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes and no... maybe. like, with jason, i thought to myself, "wow, he's really weird" when i met him, but at the same time, i found myself thinking, "this guy's gonna mean something." what’s your favorite zoo animal? meerkats, on the rare occasion they have them. do you have any plans for tomorrow? skating! :D what’s your favorite part about the fall? the colorful foliage, omg! which scooby-doo character are you most like (scooby, shaggy, daphne, fred, velma, the monster, scrappy?) probably scooby or shaggy. what “group” did you belong to in high school? i resonated/made friends with mostly the goths, emos, metalheads... describe your favorite pair of pj’s. a black pair of pajama pants with a design of harley quinn holding two guns sitting on her knees with "hey, puddin'" written beneath her. i usually wore them when i wanted j's dick honestly lmao. i still wear them tho honestly just 'cuz they're comfortable. if you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? meerkat biologist OR a member of the mythical crew how did you learn to ride a bicycle? my dad taught me. (: have you ever been to a sports game? hockey, yes. have you seen all the shrek movies? no and i cry every night because of it. have you ever finished a whole video game? of course do you know anyone with a pet snake? currently, i don't believe so. your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? they did split, and i live(d) with my mom. how does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? i've seen one picture of him with his current girlfriend, and i legitimately wanted to murder the bitch. no exaggeration. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? multiple times. what is on your bed right now? well, my own bed is in storage right now to my understanding, but the bed i'm using at colleen's currently just had pillows and blankets. are you someone’s best friend? i am! :D what do you think of when you think of australia? my friend shaylee ever ridden on a roller coaster? no, too scared. what is your birthstone? amethyst is anyone jealous of you? literally no reason to ever be. do any of your friends have children? not any close friends how did you get one of your scars? i scratched the fuck out of my leg. it was overly itchy. honestly, what is your point of a view of a friend who goes for their friend’s exes? consult your friend about it. when was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? when playing "cards against humanity" with colleen, chelsea, and bradley would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? zoo! do you sleep with a night light? no. do you bite your toenails? nope. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? overall, i feel most connected to otep's lyrics. have you ever gone to the person you like’s best friend to help you out? no. who is the most blunt person that you know? colleen do you think you will be going to sleep soon? i might take a nap. what nervous habits do you have? my eyes dart, i play with/knead my hands, avoid eye contact, etc. when was the last time you were hit on by someone? i'm not sure. what is your ringtones on your cellular? "telescope" by starset do you wear makeup? rarely. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? nope. what is your pet’s name? the only pet i personally "own" is teddy, a beagle-cocker spaniel mix. do you have any siblings? do you get along? my two immediate siblings are ashley and nicole. what is your favorite color? maroon. what color are your eyes? blue do you like your parents? i love them. how long does it take you to shower? like 8 minutes. is the last person you kissed older than you? by two years name everyone you kissed this year: no one is it awkward when you run into your ex’s? i've never "run into" him. i've seen him once, but it wasn't awkward honestly. have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? probably hundreds of times... do you change your phone background a lot? nope. think back to your last relationship. was it worth it? yes, it was. has anyone seen you in your underwear, other than mom? yep. do you hate being the first person to start a conversation? sure do. if you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? strawberries what do you usually order from olive garden? spicy shrimp fritas. fucking perfection. how do you like your steak cooked? well done do you know anyone who self-harms? i know people who have, but i certainly hope they still don't. do you have any siblings? what are their names, age, and grade they are in? doing immediate siblings only. ashley: she's 24, i think, and she's graduated. nicole: she's 18 and is a freshman in college. do you know a schizophrenic person? yes. my own half-sister tiffany is a schizophrenic. do you own many pairs of shorts? i don't have any. is there a certain song you like to headbang to?  surprisingly, i don't headbang. is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?  rammstein's lyrics are rather different imo did you love playing hide and seek as a kid?  i really did! do you have a favorite font on the computer?  garamond, i assume. have you ever been severely burned?  nope. did you ever dream that you had a baby?  multiple times. what was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road?  hm, not sure... do you try clothes on before you buy them? i avoid that shit like the plague, but i guess if i have to. by society's standards, are you attractive? probably not, idk? mostly because i'm fat, so. i do have clear skin though? would you let your kid smoke weed? if i found my child smoking weed, that would probably be the closest i'd ever get to beating their fucking ass, to be frank about it. are you mentally stable? "no" should be the obvious answer. do you think marijuana is safer than alcohol? in some ways, sure. what do you hear right now? "the dope show" by marilyn manson, chelsea talking in her room... have you ever been in an abusive relationship? no. what color is your favorite bra? it's mostly baby pink, but has a black, swirly design on it. which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? i'd actually quite enjoy a kitten right now. if you could have one power, what would it be? shape-shifting. would you ever date out of your own race?   yeah. do you still watch movies intended for children?   every now and again. who is your favorite stand-up comedian?   john pinette. what is your strangest phobia?   whale sharks. what is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen?   "the purge."  just the concept of it was so stupid.  i mean, the film was okay, but still pointless. have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you?   romantically, no. when a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away?   depends on the kind of bee.  ex., wasp, i'm running.  honeybee, it's cool. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit?   very, yes. if you had to play one sport for a living, what would it be?   dance. have your parents ever thought you were gay? what happened?   i don't think so, no. what’s the best thing to eat for breakfast?   pancakes are your parents more liberal or conservative?   conservative, mostly, with some liberal views. when was the last time you saw your best friend?   this morning.  i am currently living with her; she's at work atm. how many jobs have you ever had? (including things like babysitting)   two. do you have family meals when it’s someones birthday?   we go out to eat somewhere nice-ish. are you comfortable talking to both your parents about sex and boys?   mom, sure, but i would never discuss sex with dad. have you ever wanted to be a teacher?   not at all. what do you think is overrated?   i don't really call things "overrated."  well-liked things are liked for a reason. what is underrated?   the band otep.  they should really be better known. can spiders jump?   yes, they can. there was a sculpture that was supposed to be displayed for a week in the rockefeller center in nyc of a falling woman - designed as a memorial to those who jumped or fell to their death from the world trade center. it was complained about as grotesque, inappropriate and describe as 'not art.’ what do you think?   who says something grotesque cannot be art?  it was absolutely art and carried with it a heavy message.  it shouldn't have been censored by not showing it. has anyone ever mistaken you for a satanist?   with my wardrobe, probably. what did you see today that was beautiful in an ordinary way?   i saw my best friend. are you dyslexic?   no sir. do you agree with the people who say that everyone is bi-sexual even if they don’t want to admit it?   heard that before, and it's bullshit. if you are the only human on the planet of the apes do you have sex with an ape?   ugh, no. do you believe that black people should get money to make up for their previous enslavement?   ... the fuck is this?  no???  look, i am in no way racist or anything, but there is no reason to pay african americans because of past mistreatment?  like, that shit's done and over with? have you ever tried to write poetry or song lyrics?   poetry, yeah. do you like men who have a sensitive side?   it's like.  mandatory for me. dangly earrings, hoop earrings, simple studs, or no earrings at all?   hmmm, studs. would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does?   i do sometimes. do you lecture people about drugs?   if one prompts me too, yes. if you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, what would it be?   like... 49, maybe? who was the last person to call you babe?   probably colleen, potentially juan. do you have family problems?   yes. were you smiling when you woke up this morning?   who the fuck just wakes up smiling? do you like being in pictures?   while it's great to be included, i only really like it if i'm taking the picture, 'cuz i know how to flatter my face. do you sneak out?   at 21, i can't exactly "sneak out," but when i was a teenager, no, i never did. how would you spend a day at the beach?   in the ocean have you ever experienced altitude sickness?   nope. do you ever make a big deal out of nothing?  only constantly. have you ever written anything on a bathroom stall?  nope. are your hands unsteady?   yes, i have an essential tremor. are you scared of moving on?  FUCKING HORRIFIED. when talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear?   right ear are you scared you’ll get a q-tip stuck inside your ear?   nope. do you use index cards to help you prepare for tests?   i never did. what’s your favorite flavor of sunflower seeds?   i don't like sunflower seeds. what's currently on your mind?   meh.  i feel... alone and unaccomplished.  i just found out a veeery old friend of mine is moving out with her girlfriend soon, and.  idk.  seeing her grow up like that makes me jealous.  i miss having another half, okay? what’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy?   kill me pls, bc i like emo/scene hair the most ;-; what color is your hairbrush?   hot pink have you ever dated someone with curly hair?   not full-blown curly, no.  very few of j's tips would be curly, but his hair overall was more wavy. how many of the people you’ve kissed have had brown eyes?   one. what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to the person you like?   "i love you." are you currently in a “i wouldn’t mind if i lost 50 pounds” kind of mood?   losing 50 pounds would honestly be spectacular. are your parents religious?   yeah. would you like to have twins?   fuck no. if your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do?   oh, i'd tell her off. want to have kids before you’re 30?   it'd be ideal. has someone ever made a promise to you and broke it?   sure has. would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?   sure. do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse?   female. are you interested in more than one person at the moment?   nope.

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today was fine, whereas I'd rate the last two days as moderately sucky, so fine is an improvement at least. My normal 9 am church alarm went off and I'm lazy AF and didn't want to get out of bed but I still have to go for the nursery, so I reset my alarm for 10:30 and went back to sleep, then rewoke up at 10:30 and got ready. The bus was running late so I ended up getting there a few minutes late, which isn't a big deal of course but being late is like the biggest pet peeve of my life (blame theatre) so of course I was annoyed. The nursery ended up being very chill though, we only really had one baby for most of the time. When I first got in there the lady I was talking about last week who had a baby not that long ago was hanging out and breastfeeding her daughter before the left, so I got to see her adorable daughter for a little before they left and omg she's sooo cute I can't even handle this little cutie pie. So adorable. Then when I first got in there was a boy who's been in there before but hasn't been doing well lately, so we tried to keep him entertained while his mom waited outside to see what happened and after like ten minutes it became obvious he was not going to calm down so we got his mom and the two of them were kind of in and out, but they came and played with us for some of the time. The little girl we had for most of it was a cute little thing, 9 months old and crawling but forever looking like she's trying to push unto her feet to stand but not quite having the strength to do so (you'll probably have to take my word for it, but it was cute) and she was quite amicable for most of the time, almost no crying so that's always good. She apparently had a very bad diaper rash and her mom had requested we text her if she needed to have her diaper changed so she could do it, and when there were like 15 minutes left in the service we realized she was wet so her mom came up and changed her (the poor little girl cried like the entire time, it was so sad) and the mom of the little boy who was in there recommended a good diaper rash cream for her to use so hopefully that was helpful at least (my life is thrilling, I know). They left after that though and we were good to go, so I headed out once service got out and headed home. Stopped at Walgreens quickly for Claritin d, then got home and ran to do some laundry since I never quite finished it from last weekend, but then realized I didn't have enough quarters to put 2 loads all the way through (each machine is $2 a pop so to put 2 loads through washer and dryer you need $8 in quarters which can be a somewhat deceiving amount to picture) so I sadly only got to do one load, then added them to the clothing I didn't fold from last week because if you haven't noticed by now, I'm lazy AF. Lol. The DV clinic is closed for lincoln's birthday tomorrow though so I can at least be productive and handle that at some point. After that I worked on my trial ad stuff. We're starting impeachments this week, which will hopefully be better than exhibits, and prepping for them wasn't too bad. The one I'm a witness for this week (only like half the people get assigned a witness each week but I always end up getting one because everyone knows I make the best witness) is a pretty basic car crash personal injury case, but I'm thinking about doing a really bratty teenager character for it, haha that's what hit me right off the bat so we'll see where it goes with that. I made some dinner, like actual food for the week, my general chicken pasta with creamy Parmesan sauce thing that's super easy and delicious (which was super easy and delicious) then spent way too much time downloading a free trial of Photoshop and trying to photoshop a rooster into Katrina Law's arms because she wanted someone on Twitter to do so and I felt like taking upon the task even though I've literally never used photoshop before nor had any idea how to use it but hey, how hard could it be? Harder than originally thought, lol, and it basically just looked like a rooster superimposed in front of a picture of Katrina Law (because that's what it was, I'll post it after this) but she apparently found it hilarious so that was cool, and now I have 6 more days of a photoshop free trial to do something with (there's at least a 95% chance I'll end up never touching it again). After that I did the company tumblr and other such things while watching crazy ex-girlfriend, which I have to say, holy shit I love this show??? It's just so damn quotable and the writers like, understand me haha I'm really enjoying it, even if their court scenes were very inaccurate (I'm now totally incapable of watching a tv court scene without picking apart every inaccuracy, it's bad I know). So that made for an enjoyable night. I'm trying to figure out if I can actually feel relaxed when I've had a fair amount of time to relax over the past 3 days, and I still feel like I'm not sure? Just idk, I'm not sure I've been able to get my brain to stop racing, even when I'm just relaxing there's always something I have to get done, even if it's just reading through the tumblrs I check every day or reading the 4 articles brought up on my browser (I wind up reading a lot of articles, people tend to like when I post them on Facebook so I do so with some frequency). And like, it's so fucking annoying. I've also kind of been thinking that you know I don't have to be this busy if I don't want to...? Just like thinking that the DV clinic is cancelled this week- like I have this idea in my head that everyone (or at least every law student) has basically the same schedule and amount of responsibilities, and as long as I make them all fit together it's fine right? That's how it's supposed to be? But....it's not. I don't have to do the DV clinic. I don't have to go to the gym, didn't have to sign back up at the kickboxing gym, didn't have to sign up for small groups- they were all just things I had the opportunity to do and I WANTED to do them. And I just don't know if that's a good enough reason at this point? I mean, I know I'll have more time once mock trial is over and that'll be in like two weeks, but just right now even when I have some time to decompress it always feels like I'm rushing from one thing to the next and like, it sucks. Ugh. It's entered my head a few times that I should talk to my psychiatrist about this, and I'm really overdue for a phone appointment with him that I should get on. I've briefly considered the idea that maybe being in therapy would help but I don't really think it's that kind of issue, plus I really don't want to?? Idk, watching that poor girl fight the judge about going to therapy last week just kind of got me thinking about it and I understand how she feels but I'm also supposed to be the mental health advocate that's telling people it's okay to go to therapy and they shouldn't be scared, and that's what I wanted to tell her, but I feel it too, I really do. But I just don't know. I feel like it's just my schedule and not a mental thing (or at least that's what I want it to be). Sigh. I don't know. I hope it goes away before I have to do anything else about it. I guess we'll see what happens. Tomorrow should be interesting. First at 11 I have my skype interview with the org I want to work with over the summer, so I'm pumped about that. Then I have to get the non-Valentine's Day Valentine's Day cards to the place and go to class, through some combination of public transit and ubers. I may try to fit some gym time in there, it'll depend on how my timeline works out, I'm not making any definitive plans yet. But it should be a good day. And now it's 2 am And I should get to bed because I do have to get up and make myself look pretty and put a suit on to stare into my laptop because skype interviews are a thing, even if I maybe can go back to sleep afterwards (we'll see how tired I'm feeling). And yeah. Should be good. But until then. Goodnight lovelies. Have a wonderful week.